#I don't post like this cuz every minute is a new thought

[shslpunkartist99]

One last random post.. probably

I'm conflicted in making my Keith Hispanic or Japanese. Simply because I easily see him as both

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[yyokkki]

Riddle Rosehearts

A former city boy who ran away from home after refusing to become a doctor like his mother was.

Actually works as a lawyer at a small firm in the nearest town. He commutes by car and it's only a 30 minute drive with minimal traffic (thank god cuz his road rage is abysmal) but he works remotely on most days.

Is often found at the town saloon (the community centre after you fix it!) holding tea parties with Trey, Cater, Ace and Deuce or at the local library.

Loved Gifts: Strawberry Tart, Fairy Rose, Ruby, Universal Loves

"...Oh! Ahem, thank you farmer. Expect a return gift in the mail soon."

Hated Gifts: Eel, Clay, Royal Sword Cola, Universal Hates

"Ugh! This is unacceptable!"

Trey Clover

The local baker! His family runs a bakery in the city and he moved to NRV on his own to open another branch of Clover's Confectionaries.

He says the fertile soil and rich foragables make it the perfect place to gather ingredients on his own.

Rumour has it he runs a backdoor business for specialty toothpastes.

Is often found at the town saloon serving his pastries for Riddle's parties or at his bakery tending to his mini garden at the back.

Loved Gifts: Limestone, Pearl, Candied Violets, Universal Loves

"Thanks farmer! How did you know I needed this? ...I don't owe you anything, right?"

For Limestone and Pearl: "This is perfect! Now, to extract the calcium carbonate..." (Yes, for toothpaste)

Hated Gifts: Broken Glasses, Mustard, Universal Hates

"Oh... Uh... Thanks?"

Cater Diamond

A social media influencer and former travel blogger.

Used to travel a lot but decided to settle at NRV. He claims it's because the scenery and people are 'cute'.

Occasionally will go to the city with Kalim and Lilia to perform and hold concerts.

Is in a band with Kalim and Lilia, plays the guitar.

Is often found at the town saloon with Riddle, Trey, Ace and Deuce or in the town square chatting up the other residents.

Loved Gifts: Spicy Ramen, Diamond, Universal Loves

"Aww, you shouldn't have! #lucky #cutefarmer"

Hated Gifts: Anything Sweet, Clay, Universal Hates

"Aww, thanks but no thanks. #lame"

Ace Trappola

The local carpenter! Stays at Night Raven Valley with his older brother who he learned all his tricks from (bad and good).

Loves causing trouble and playing harmless pranks on the other residents (Deuce is his biggest victim), good at magic tricks too.

Plays basketball on sunny Saturdays with Jamil and Floyd.

The first character you meet, who was assigned with fixing up Ramshackle Farm. Shit talks your farm right to your face and holds no remorse.

Is often found at the town saloon at Riddle's tea parties or at the back on the arcade machines.

Loved Gifts: Cherry Pie, Cherry, Royal Sword Cola, Universal Loves

"Dwoes the wittle farmer have a crush on me~ Ack, I'm kidding!"

Hated Gifts: Clay, Oyster, Universal Hates

"Gross! Do you hate me or something??"

Deuce Spade

The local mechanic/handyman! He's self taught and lives with his mom, Dylla Spade who handles the deliveries in town.

Used to be a delinquent but has since turned a new leaf.

His passion project is modding the hell out of his motorcycle and hitting the roads.

Goes on runs with Jack every sunny Wednesday.

Volunteers at the Adventurer's Guild and takes requests from the board for security as his goal is to become a full time officer in the future.

Is often found at the town saloon at Riddle's tea parties or at the back getting obliterated by Ace in Junimo Cart.

Loved Gifts: All Eggs (Except Void Egg), Omelette, Battery Pack, Universal Loves

"Farmer! I knew you were a real one!"

For Battery Pack: "Thanks dude! I needed this for the finishing touches..."

Hated Gifts: Void Egg, Juice (He drinks it, it just reminds him of Ace), Bell Pepper, Universal Hates

"Hah? Oh, I thought you were pickin' a fight..."

---

TWST x SDV Masterlist

Tag List (Interact with the linked post to be tagged in future updates mwah)

[crows-in-the-house]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖆𝖑

It's a part of my own writting inktober! To see more check out this post!

Prompt: clown / emotion / ritual

pairing: Bill Cipher x Reader

tw: none

The moon was full, bathing the night sky in a cold silver light. Dark, long branches hit the window panes. It was midnight when you started to have doubts. Will it work? Will it actually help you?

You shook your head - there was no time for such questions. The last candle was lit with a trembling hand. The room was filled with darkness, you could barely see your hands despite the gentle flickers of the fire. You took a deep breath, taking the chill night air into your lungs, and letting it out in a long sigh.

You opened the old scripture, holding on to the old paper as if to your own life. The ancient rhymes made your eyes water. You were just about to go on to the part with the knife when you heard a faint laughter.

The room seemed to shift and change. You knew that voice right? Low, ominous rumbling filled the air, when sharp shadows circled around you as if to swallow you whole. There was something emerging from the corners in the darkness, something big, staring right at you-

This fucker!

"Bill! What are you doing in my ritual!"

"Oh come on toots, calling onto some stupid gods and not me? You really have a nerve!"

The triangle demon circled you while laughing. His form again normal sized, perfectly punchable if he only moved closer.

"Don't even try that kid! I'm not like those clowns you want so badly! I will get back at ya!"

"What do you want Cipher!? I was just about to summon a god and you ruined it! Again! Do you know how long I have to wait for another full moon?!"

You looked at the demon with anger. Since you two met he succesfuly stopped all your attempts at dark magic. At first you belived him when he said you where doing some stuff wrong, like using a wrong spell, or not fresh enough offering. But with time he started interfiing more and more. And now he was just an annoying prick.

"Listen kid, if you're so desperate to make a deal with a higher power-

"I'm not making deal with you Bill." You stood up crossing your arms. " I want to learn my future from a reliable source. A reliable source, got it?"

"Oh and would you look at that - that's exactly me, brainiac! If we just made a deal, I would let you know aaaall your possible futures, with all the alternative universes, great deaths and every new emotion in your head! Why not shake on, so I can share it with you?"

"Cuz last time I did that, you made me think of you every time when I spoke to my crush! And now I don't even remember their name!"

"As if such a detail was important kid, you got your end of the deal, and I got mine, yes?"

"How was that even beneficial to you?!"

"A guy must advertise himself somehow, you know?" He said while shrugging. You growled, putting out the candles. You had to stowe them away and wash the floor again. At least you didn't spill your blood this time. You were getting short on bandages.

You looked at your watch. Fifteen minutes after midnight. If it was at least ten, you would still have time to continue, rushed, but at least finally achieving your goal. Now tho, it was certain it wouldn't work out. The ritual needed special time and undivided attention. Both of which, Bill took without any care.

Your stomach growled. You haven't eaten in a while. Maybe you should go do that and watch a movie to sleep? You looked back at the triangle. He was still there, staring at you, as if suspended in space. Was he lost in thoughts or reading your mind? You nudged his side to get his attention.

"You know what? If you spawn me a drink - not alive, conscious one that is, I will share my popcorn with you." You saw humor get back to his eye.

"Oh golly! Free useless food from my meatbag monkey? What a treat!"

"Do you want it or not?" you replied, leaving the room. His eye scanned your tired form while slowly following you.

What a cute fool you were. Calling onto beings your whole mind wouldn't understand. It was shame you weren't awere how much he was protecting you from getting your brain melted. Maybe, just maybe if he made you more like him you would finally realize how much work you made him do! But no. He couldn't risk his stupid puppet getting a potential response from one of those "higher beings".

After all you belonged to him.

[stardust-poet]

Hunter noceda dating hcs !!

A/n: I only watched the episodes with hunter in this bc I didn't feel like re watching the entire thing for the 3rd time

Warnings: a little rushed bc the first draft got deleted :(

Enjoy!

Okay

So hunter.

Gods he is so sweet

He's head over heels in love with you

From the moment he first saw you

He knew he was doomed

Mostly because the emperors coven has things against relationships

(In my personal hc don't hurt me)

Especially with wild witches

And also because he thought you were too good for him

And he is so scared of disobeying belos

(He doesn't wanna get hurt again.)

Especially with him already hiding flapjack

And he's head over heels in love with you

When he does his rebel thingy

Like after he goes into belos' mind

He goes to you

Whether you're a wild witch, a witch in a coven, a demon/monster, or in the emperors coven and worked alongside him

He's coming to you

Shaking, crying, unable to speak from the realizations he's come to

You try calming him down

Eventually it does work but he passes out in your arms eventually

Anyways

Hunter is like a lost puppy dog

Always at your heels

He's following you everywhere

Can't find hunter?

Go find yn he's with them

And if he's not with you

(Which is very rare)

He's either under a tree reading

It's probably about his special interest at the time

Wolves, wild witches/history of ye olde magic and witches

(Bc let's be honest this boy is autistic)

(We love him dearly tho)

Or he's carving palismen for new witches

(If it's set post-basically everything)

He's such a gentleman

Opening doors for you, being oh so polite

He does that little standing thing before you sit down at the table

Even is it's in a booth at a resturant

Or dinner at Camilas

He's also such a romantic

Luz or Camila probably showed him a bunch of cheesy romance movies

And he probably found a few books too

He reads/watches those like the holy scripture of winning you over

Bringing you roses because he thinks those are the most romantic

Picnic dates, fancy restaurants

Slowly leaning in to kiss like the lady and the tramp

Then poof

He's back in the real world.

He daydreams so much about you

It's almost weird

if he did confess the way he wanted to

He would make that little trail of rose petals,

Leading to a picnic with candles and fairy lights

(Guys idk shit abt romance is this good)

And he asks you to be his bf/gf/s.o without stuttering and in the cutest most romantic way possible

That's not how it happens tho

It's probably when ur really stressed with something

And you're annoyed at every little thing,

every noise that's made within 50 feet of you I'd unbearable

He slowly walks into ur room/workspace

"Yn...?"

"What?!"

He's on the verge of tears at your tone

It reminds him of belos when he was angry with him

He gets through it anyway

"I um... I like you ...? I-i ..I like you a lot like–like... I like you, yn."

"Oh titan, hunter..."

Of course you say you have the same feelings for him

You have to reassure this baby that it's okay and your sorry for snapping a little

Cuz he was about to cry

Anyways once you guys are in a relationship

He's really really touchy

But also flinching at every small touch

You have to take it really slow with him

Asking for consent everytime you hold his hand or to hug him

Eventually he warms up to you

Expect hugs from behind

A lot.

All the time.

Every minute.

He loves hugging you

And he loves cuddling you

So so so much

Nuzzling into your neck with happy, content sighs, laying on your stomach

I think he would love just. Rubbing his face on every part of your body

Seems kinda weird but it makes sense in my head

he's just a little guy‼️

I would say it's a wolf thing that he picked up on while reading but idk if that's true

Anyways he loves you so much

Give him reassurance often

(Take care of him or else🔫)

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Mini taglist:

@thementallyillapollochild @daonedaonlyskh

if you want to be added or removed lemme know !!

[sharp-silver4795]

Hello, I reread your post about NSFW and if you Don't want to do this, it's totally fine! But my request is EJ x Liu, ik it's a ship you like so wanted to make it easier for you

EJ x Liu 🔞 HCs

*insert giddy man-kisser screaming*

Alright! Listen, there’s warnings, ofc. But there’s too many- Mostly about kinks n shit, but there is one section that goes into a bit of trauma.

Anyone <16 needs to get the fuck outta here!!

General

They’re more of a morning sex kinda relationship. Morning or midday, night time is too much for either of them.

Neither of them particularly like quickies because they like to take their time on each other.

If you thought this was vanilla, you are sorely mistaken….

EJ is top by default. I think I mentioned this in his anatomy before, but he doesn’t go to the bathroom or anything, so he doesn’t have a hole. So, he tops by default.

Liu is power bottoming 80% of the time

They take a while- like 1-1.5 hours at least blame Jack

They like to try out new things all the time, but more so on EJ’s end because he doesn’t wanna risk things with Liu buddy, Liu is freaky as hell, he can handle it

EJ

I talked about this before, demon man’s got 3 cocks. But they do have a function! One is a bit bigger than the other two, it has one main function- sperm. On most guys, that’s the testicles’ job. But EJ needs a bit more help. That one has a lot of extra pressure so it’s a lot more sensitive and Liu takes full advantage of this

He can also stop himself from cumming by folding the shorter two on opposite sides of the bigger one.

They’re more like tentacles, so be can move them freely as long as he’s aroused enough.**

EJ isn’t kinky on his own, Liu needs to be there for that. Normally, EJ would just fuck his partner raw- but with Liu he has to be more strategic cuz Liu’s not done until he can’t think properly.

He refuses to admit that he loved pet play when Liu gave him a collar and a leash later a muzzle

He really doesn’t need to, the purring gave him away

The man has ruts but they’re kinda predictable. I think if similar to a menstrual cycle, as in, it’s hormone/chemical based.

One of the few times EJ is a complete top is when he’s drilling Liu into the mattress like his life depends on it and Liu enjoys every fucking second of it

He likes to bite, no duh-

He hates hurting Liu, but he didn’t think he’d love getting “hurt”

It’s honestly not even pain to him, because demon and all- it’s more of a power trip sort of deal

Humans find this painful?

*Taunting Liu* “How many more strikes until I feel it?”

Bud really likes being the biggest one in the room, until he’s taken down a peg… but he finds that a turn on too

His hands are cold, but the rest of him is hot- those hands feel really good on Liu’s hot and hard dick tho~

His tentacle-members are also pretty cold-

In this case, temperature is a given, not a kink

EJ‘a favorite positions are: against a wall, doggie, eagle, 69, and 68 (idk what else to call it all- one is getting a bj the other is getting eaten out)

Definitely would want Liu to choke him on his dick if it weren’t dangerous- oh well, he’ll just have to choke Liu instead* 🤷

He likes “choking” Liu (pressure on the sides on the neck, safe sex, people!!!) because Liu likes it too

He’ll eat Liu out or have him sit on his face, he knows those tongues work wonders if he uses em right

Gently pulls (more like nudges) Liu’s eyelids open so they can make contact when they kiss- it’s hot and sensual.

Whether he’s topping or “bottoming” completely, it’s a whole new ballgame!

As a top, he’s a beast~

Can reduce him to a mess in mere minutes, though he usually doesn’t.

He likes it when Liu works for it- sort of taunting back at the man who whipped his chest to a deep noir.

He doesn’t feel the need from ropes or anything when he’s in charge, his hands will do just fine and ropes tend to be triggering for Liu

Boy can and has broken the bed frame and mattress!

✨cock warming✨

He’ll stick all 3 of em in there and just chill. Liu can be patient for a while- but he breaks eventually.

If he chooses not to listen and tries to get himself off- EJ’ll let him… but then he’s gonna screw him senseless until he’s done- which is gonna take a while

When the mark on Liu’s shoulder starts to fade… perfect time for a nice cock warmer.

For complete bottom (or as close as he can get) he’ll do anything and everything for Liu.

Come on, EJ put on a muzzle for this man- what would they NOT do for him??

This demon boi would see Liu cum 4 times on his dick and still not let himself release when Liu says no**

*completely out of breath* “Fuck! You’re doing great, sweetheart”

“Yeah? May I cum now? Please?”

“Mmmmm….”

*a complete mess of sweat, cum, eye-socket-fluid, and desperation*

“Yeah. Yeah, you can cum this time.”

Liu

Liu loves experimenting.

It might be because his experience was stolen from him or maybe he was always like that. Who knows-

Liu is really chill and cuddly for the most part, but not once he’s in bed with Jack.

He has to get EJ going enough to have all 3 of his dicks to slide out of his “cock pocket” (as he says) and he can get pretty creative ~

He’s gone the route of making out until Jack gets impatient or just teasing his fingers on the “cover skin” and edges of EJ’s slit

Liu has zero shame for him. He wanted to try wax play once after a round and he just-

“Would you be willing to put hot wax on the bites you give me?”

*Jerks up* “What the hell? It’s 4am!!”

He was very curious with EJ’s anatomy when he started visiting Liu’s window. He would just let Liu play with him and try to figure him out.

Because of all that ⬆️ he knows all the things that makes EJ tick

*Despite his lover having at least 3x the size of any man, he can still give head like a champ! If Liu doesn’t feel like full sex he’ll give EJ a blowjob.

He likes teasing in one of two ways: presentation/show or surprises

By “presentation” I mean this man will get himself (or have Jason make him) some lingerie, tie himself to the bed frame, and wait for EJ. He’s kinda teasing himself but, hey! it gets the job done. This man loves himself some bondage

It could also be sending nudes or just shirtless pics with his V-Line a lil emphasized and the bulge being obviously visible

“Surprises” are when he’s kinda horny, but will just spend time around Jack while his head rolls out all the things they could be doing…

EJ can smell his lust the entire time

He always masturbates in front of a mirror. If EJ’s watching, so be it! For some reason though, he just doesn’t like mirror sex I’d chalk it up to trauma

He likes “hurting” (eh…) Jack because it gives Liu his own power trip: a demon that could rip him to shreds is completely under control just by his words and whip

He likes pet play ofc. He likes having control over a literal demon.

EJ only misbehaved one time, and now he’s got a muzzle. At least he learned~

He low key wants to get EJ a special collar, but he doesn’t know if that will be pressing too far it won’t

Liu’s favorite positions are: lotus, doggie, bridge, and heart (idk what it’s actually called)

He likes to be bent out of shape by the end of it. If he isn’t, they’re gonna keep going.

Chronically edges

EJ doesn’t let him use sounding rods anymore and he’s still salty about it.

Cries during sex. Always. Doesn’t matter what’s going on, he always cries. It’s almost never a bad thing tho.

I dont have the time not energy to fully explain how kinky this man is

General pt 2 (Romantic/Sweet Sex)

If they want to just spend time together, they usually go for heart or lotus.

Romantic sex isn’t exactly common with these two, but it is prominent enough.

EJ usually initiates sweet sex. It’s usually whenever Liu is pushing himself to do something he doesn’t wanna do.

Ej will stop him, pin his hands together and to his chest and kiss down Liu’s face, cheeks, neck, and all the way to his hands.

“You’re safe here. You will do nothing you do not wish to do… understand?”

*now in tears, nodding*

“Good. Now, let me love you for a while.”

Silly and sweet takes the longest for them. It’s an act of love and admiration. To them, it’s like setting up a row of candles and roses to the dinner table.

This is the only time they’ll have sex at night.

General pt 3 (sex with a side of trauma)

Aftercare bellow this in pink!!!

Sometimes during this, one of them can have a bit of trouble cuz of trauma.

For EJ it’s the bite marks- he remembers Selcra and still feels guilty over it and his head immediately goes to

I won’t be able to save him either. I couldn’t protect a DEMON… how will I save him?

Liu is never ready for those moments when EJ randomly pushes him away. Ofc EJ explains after a bit, but still

For Liu it’s SA and abuse in general. It isn’t often that it happens, but he has randomly- in the middle of it- burst out crying because he feels gross

“What the hell am I doing? This is so fucked up.”

“Why am I doing this? I’d be stoned for this- WE would be stoned for this!”

“DON’T! Don’t touch me. I want you out! Now!!”

EJ is never ready for those moments.

Both of them are completely aware that things might happen. They have safe words (Liu’s is “lighthouse”, Jack’s is “Armadillo”) but they also have it where- if they say “stop”, “out”, or “Off”- it’s over. They both take those words very seriously. “No” can sometimes be playful for them, but tone matters as well.

Aftercare!!

You would think these two went to war with how they look afterwards-

Liu is being carried, but it’s worth it.

Liu nearly falls asleep in the bath every time, so EJ has to hold him up.

It’s really bubble baths (yes, plural), changing sheets, sweet nothings, and resting on the couch.

Jack is getting pets the whole time and he can’t take his hands away from Liu’s sides/back.

I hope this is Alr!

[alexfromjersey]

𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓼 & 𝓕𝓪𝓷 𝓓𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼

jenna ortega x g!poc

summary: jah submits a demo. jenna gets questioned by hudson. fans start to piece things together

warnings: mature language

a/n: I want to quit my job 🙂. I wish we got paid to write fanfiction. I walked 14,987 steps in one single shift

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

🤰🏻🩵

@modernbussywhip: AIGHT I NEED EVERYONE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME

@ghostridingwhip: aggressive for wat tho?

@modernbussywhip: SSSHHHHHH I HAVE NEW INFO BOUT JAH'S MYSTERY GIRL! I have two potential candidates and please note that one of them is a little bit of a surprise

@highondatgreen: i thought it was clear that I'm Jah's girl

@ghostridingwhip: @highondatgreen whatever u smoke...slide some over here

@ghostridingwhip: @modernbussywhip who are the candidates 👀

@modernbussywhip: ALRIGHT CLASS IS IN SESSION. Now like I said i have two candidates but it could be more cuz we all know Jah is a hoe...a respectable one tho but i digress.

@modernbussywhip: CANDIDATE NUMERO UNO: Stacey Vernon, a popular social media influencer on TikTok. She has a twin sister Diana and with Davis, they all attended school together (as she has mentioned in a TikTok video). They were together at Stacey's birthday party not too long ago and even though Jah shut the rumors down of them being together...we never know when it comes to Shiesty.

@fnthechat: geeeeezzzzz if this Jah's girl....

@behindthespecialk: I love jah but there's no way jah bagged her

@shiestylover: @behindthespecialk: whoa whoa not u doubting my girl's ability to bag bad bitches. you must not seen her roster 😏

@behindthespecialk: HOW?!?! @sheistylover

@shiestylover: she just built like that 😏

@modernbussywhip: LMAOOO while we can admire the untouchable rizz Jah has later....we should move on to candidate numero dos because this one...is a little out there but plausible.

@modernbussywhip: CANDIDATE NUMERO DOS: we all know her, we all love her and it's Miss Jenna Ortega. Now now now before everyone start think pieces just look at my evidence ok come come....evidence number one back when the Scream 6 premiere happened Jah accompanied Davis to it. I'm 95% sure that's where they first met because Jah didn't go to Canada while Davis was filming Scream 6. 1/4

@modernbussywhip: we all saw jenna appear in Jah's vlog...the eye contact, the sexual tension, everything was there between them. But fast forward a couple of hours later, a fan posted a pic with jenna who was at a restaurant and in the pic u can see a tattooed arm and it's the same tattoos Jah has! 2/4

@modernbussywhip: CONTINUE TO WALK WITH ME! Fast forward more, they follow each other on Instagram and as a jenna fan also...that girl avoids that app like the bubonic plague EXCEPT for when Jah posts...every single post of jah has a jenna like...i don't think jenna even likes her mother's posts so for her to only be on Instagram liking Jah's posts....my spidey senses are tingling 3/4

@modernbussywhip: ALMOST DONE! now we always mess with jah on her Reddit so lately it's been nothing but pics and edits of jenna on it...NOT ONCE has she told anyone to stop sending pics and edits of jenna. AND every time she looks at one...her eyes lights up and she starts to smile and blush! Plus after the Met Gala, Jenna stayed in New York...why did she stay in New York?? Jenna's from Cali across the fucking country and she was seen around the Bronx area....YALL NOT FOOLING ME! 4/4

@fnthechat: if jah managed to bag the baddiest scream queen in existence...imma need her to write a book about how to generate THAT much rizz

@ghostridingwhip: fr...that's like level 100 rizz...past Duke Dennis level of rizz

🤰🏻🩵

"Man this is the fucking FIFTH studio I called today and none of them got availability tonight" You groaned out of frustration.

"Why you wait until the last minute to call these studios?" Delyse questioned.

"Well I just signed up for the contest. It was a spur of the moment thing I didn’t really think it through." You said.

Delyse hummed in response and turned her attention back to the food on the stove.

"We can see if Kenny still got his home studio. I think he still live on 33rd" Davis said.

"Bet let's go. We'll be back Ma" You said to your mother and left with Davis.

"You got a song you gonna record?" Davis asked.

"Yeah I wrote it a long time ago. I made the beat and everything" You smiled.

Soon the two of you made it to Kenny's house. You walk into the building and climb up the three flights of stairs, remembering that his elevator never worked. You got to his door and knocked on it.

You waited patiently and slightly out of breath. You knocked again, "Yo Kenny it's me Jah."

Suddenly, the door was ripped opened and a furious looking woman stood there with a crying baby on her hip.

"Uh is Kenny here?" You asked.

The woman laughed sadistically, "Of course you're looking for Kenny. Kenny left four months ago with a skank from Brooklyn."

You and Davis looked at each other stuck on what to say.

"Um...you don't happen to still have his studio equipment?" You asked carefully.

"Nope. I burned it. I burned everything of his" The woman replied.

"Okay thanks" You both gave her a small smile and walked away from Kenny's former apartment. The two of you left the building with you feeling utterly defeated.

"What the fuck am I gonna do? I have to submit this demo by 11:59 tonight" You sighed.

"Don't stress bruh we gon' figure something out. Trust" Davis reassured you. You nodded and took a deep breath in to calm your body down.

🤰🏻🩵

London, England

1:23 am

Jenna had just got to her temporary home after a long day of filming. She was exhausted and was glad she had the day off so she can rest properly. She pulled her shoes off and placed her purse on the table.

Just as she was about to sit on the couch, a knock is at her door.

She internally screams before she walks to the door and opens it to reveal Hudson.

Jenna sighed, "What do you want Hudson?"

"I...just wanted to check in on you. I know you've been working hard which could be harmful to the baby" Hudson said nervously.

"Now you care about me and my baby" Jenna said and raised her eyebrow in suspicious at the boy.

"I always cared about you Jenna. If I didn't I wouldn't be here right now" Hudson replied.

"If you cared about me you wouldn't have told my family about me being pregnant. That wasn't something someone who cared about me would do" Jenna said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're right. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't my place to do that and I sincerely apologize" Hudson said.

Jenna hummed in response, not really believing his words.

Hudson sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "I truly am sorry and I regret doing it. I just...I just wanted to check on you after everything that happened with Neil on the plane."

At the mention of the male, Jenna tensed. She was doing good with pushing him out of her thoughts. Instead, choosing to focus on her filming. She couldn't and won't let him control her...not anymore. She deserved to be happy.

"I'm fine. I'll handle it" Jenna lied.

Hudson opened his mouth to say something but decided against it after seeing the look on her face.

"Okay...I'll uh...see you tomorrow" Hudson said and walked away from her door. Jenna shut the door after he left and sat on her couch. She was stressed and that wasn't good for her or the baby...she needed to relieve some stress.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

i need help

NYC 🩵:

with 👀

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

im stressed

NYC 🩵:

well taking deep breaths and meditating i heard is a good source of stress relief

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

NYC 🩵:

was that not the right thing to do?

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

nope

NYC 🩵:

ah shit

WAIT

😏😏😏😏😏😏

i know what u want

🤤🤤🤤 vegan food looks bomb don't ya agree

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

I hate you with everything in me 😂

NYC 🩵:

💀💀💀 wym? wat i do? is that not right also?!?

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you know that's not what i want

NYC 🩵:

what u want then

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you know

NYC 🩵:

i dont know ms ortega

not a mind reader

use your words

A chill went through Jenna's body as she read the message, imagining you actually saying those words to her...under different circumstances.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

don't say that

it makes it harder when you say things like that

NYC 🩵:

😂😂😂😂

ain't it like almost 2 am or something over there

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

no...

NYC 🩵:

nice try

go to sleep

goodnight my honey bunches of oats 😘����

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you're annoying 😒

Jenna groaned and placed her phone down next to her. She needed to eat, shower, and sleep. But before she could even attempt to start, her phone dinged again. She grabbed it and opened the message from you, she took a sharp inhale of air.

NYC 🩵:

word?

*attachment: 1 image*

It was picture of you in the mirror with your head titled to the side and tongue stretched out your mouth. Your tongue was naturally long, almost reaching to your chin. But what also caught her eyes was your hand placement which was grabbing your genitalia through your gray sweatpants. That's all Jenna needed.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

i take back what i said

🤰🏻🩵

You laughed at Jenna's message and fixed yourself before walking out the bathroom. You and Davis got back to your Mother's house defeated from the lack of progress in finding a studio.

You don't know how you were going to finished this demo and submit it in 4 hours.

A knock at the door grabbed your attention, you watched as your mother walks to the door and cracks it open.

"Hey Leon" Delyse smiled brightly at the sight of the man.

"Hey Del, how you doing?" Leon gave her a smile back.

"I'm good just cooking for these clingy kids" Delyse answered and opened the door wider for Leon to see you and Davis.

"Hey Mr. Greenhill" You and Davis simultaneously greeted the older man. Leon chuckled and waved at them.

"Oh I knew I smelled something delicious. Man I missed smelling your cooking reminds me of the old days" Leon flattered.

Delyse let out a little giggle, "Yeah the old days."

The two adults stood in the doorway looking at each other basking in the comfortable silence. Meanwhile, you and Davis looked at each other before looking back at the older adults.

"I...uh just wanted to stop by and say hello. I don't wanna intrude anymore than I already have" Leon smiled at Delyse.

"No, no, no intruding...do you want a plate?" Delyse boldly asked.

It took a moment for Leon to come up with a response but eventually he did, "Uh yeah sure."

The older gentleman walked into the house and Delyse closed the door behind him. Leon pulled off his cap and held it in his hands. He sat next to you at the end of the table.

"How you guys doing?" Leon politely said to you and Davis.

"Eh" You shrugged.

"Eh? Why eh?" Leon questioned.

"Jah signed up for this music competition. Winner gets a five million dollar record deal with Passion Records. The contestants must submit a demo by 11:59 p.m tonight but we haven't found a studio all week" Davis explained.

"And I tried recording it on my phone but the audio is all grainy and hard to hear" You sighed.

"Hmm...can you sing the song you are going to submit?" Leon questioned.

You and Davis glanced at each other again but Davis just shrugged. You scrolled to the notes app and pulled the beat of the song you are going to use.

"Rollin' through with stacks, it's easy, money rainin' down, just like a storm, I got the riches-" You get interrupted by Leon pausing the beat on your phone.

"No" Leon said.

"No? What you mean no? It's a good song" You scoffed.

"Yeah for the early 2015 era when singing about money like that could get you hits. It's 2023 now, people want to hear something different something unique. If I was a judge and I heard that...I would think you're just hopping on the trendy music hoping for yours to be the hit. But you don't realize that everyone is thinking the same thing as you. The only way for you to be looked at twice is if you stand out. Let the lyrics come from within you, come from your heart" Leon explained to you.

Delyse then comes from the kitchen with a plastic bag with aluminum foiled wrapped plates inside.

"Here you go" Delyse smiled and handed Leon the bag.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this Delyse" Leon smiled at her grateful. He stood up from the table and grabbed his cap.

"Once you find those lyrics, come and find me on Southern BLVD but hurry though you got four hours left" Leon said and left the house.

Meanwhile, you sat stuck at the dining room table. Replaying the words Leon said, basically calling your song shit. It stung but deep down you knew he was right. The song didn't feel like you, it felt like a 14 year old wrote it and it wasn't your style.

You glanced at the clock on the wall as you grabbed a pen and paper. 7:48 p.m. Your eyes then glanced down to your phone and an unopened message from Jenna.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you have to be the greatest partner alive 😏

"Have to be..." You muttered to yourself. Instantly, your hand starts to move by itself as you write down the lyrics to your new song.

Let the lyrics come from your heart.

🤰🏻🩵

Two hours later, you finally finished and made your way to Southern BLVD with Davis tagging along.

"Why Southern BLVD though? What's here besides crackheads and prostitutes?" Davis commented.

The two of you continued walking down the block until you start to hear the sound of music. The closer you got to the corner, the louder and clearer the music became. It was street drummers and Leon was in the middle of them playing the electric guitar. You and Davis watched in amazement as he kept up with the drummers until they finished their last cord together.

The small amount of people that were gathered applauded them and a couple gave a few dollars before walking away.

"Yo I ain't know you could play the guitar Mr. Greenhill" Davis said.

Leon chuckled, "I'm a man with many talents son." The older male turned to you.

"I'm assuming you got something better with you this time" Leon teased.

You laughed, "Yeah I do. Wrote it from the heart like you said."

"Alright, well you better warm up that voice. You got a song to perform" Leon smiled and patted your back.

"Wait what? Right now? In public?" You questioned.

"Uh yeah. You need to submit that demo in two hours. I checked to see if you submit a live version of your demo and it said you could so get a move on" Leon said and stepped to the side.

"I don't got a beat though I just have the lyrics" You said. You were really trying your hardest not to perform in front of people severely underprepared.

"Don't worry about that" Leon said and placed the guitar over his shoulder.

Leon then played a cord on the guitar, soon the bucket drummer started feeling the vibe and matched the cord Leon was playing. Then you heard someone sweeping from behind you, it surprisingly also matched with everyone. You start to nod your head, feeling the rhythm and you grabbed the beat up microphone from the ground.

Davis pulled out his phone to start recording you.

"Can't wait for you to get home, we ain't got to go nowhere. Airplane on my phone, it can wait til the morning. I can't fathom why you choose me out billions but I'll take it" You sung. You felt your eyes close as you got lost into the music.

Soon, you finished off the song to a large crowd cheering and clapping at your performance.

"I told you let the lyrics come from your heart. You made magic tonight Jah, take pride of your work" Leon educated you.

You nodded at him and walked over to Davis who was fiddling with his phone.

"And submitted" Davis smiled at you as he submitted the demo on the competition website.

"Hard part is over for now. Now we wait" You exhaled deeply.

a/n: if you put a buck in my cup I will shut the fuck up… but you ain’t gotta be a baller to give me a motherfucking dollar…

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @raven-ss @fanboy7794 @morganismspam23 @cinffy23 @darklron @cheesybacon1 @octavias-next-meat-bite @playboysaleen @niqmandu @zaclewiss @yescruzzzzzzz @silentfor @gemz5 @alwaysdangerouschild @onceblinkarmyandmore @melonfruit442 @zataracloud @nepobaby08 @jennasslut @rimaybank @jaewu @j3nc0re @fillthwvoid

[lovedrruunk]

'Mango Letters ♡⸝⸝💌⊹˖➴

Venture (Overwatch) x GN Reader

[Established Relationship!]

Authors note!!!; DID U MISS MEEE??? also...IM SO SORRYYY!!!! BUT I THINK IM JUST GONNA START WRITING WHAT I WANT :((( i realized im sososo bad with requests like genuinely ughhhh!! Ill def do some every now and then tho! Anyways im just clearing out my drafts cuz I’ve come to the realization that this is literally tumblr and my posts don’t have to be perfect lmao, enjoy!!

75 days 18 hours 46 minutes and 3 seconds. That's how long it had been since you've seen your partner Sloan. Being with them you knew how devoted they were to their work and how much it required them to travel but on pretty days like this one when the weathers just right and the flowers are in full bloom and the sunset is the perfect hue of orange, you couldn't help but wish they were by your side.

And although they were thousands of miles away they always made sure to send you physical manifestations of their love.

Through love letters of course!!!

It had been a tradition ever since they had started going on longer expeditions for them to send you things in the mail. So there in your shared closet in a cute little shoebox on the top shelf, laid all their feelings on coffee stained papers. Little crystals the same color as your eyes, maps with all the places they wanted to take you, polaroids of them doing silly faces, and your favorite part, the sweet scent of mango that came with it all.

And so although they weren't by your side, their feelings were. Their longing, their excitement, their thoughts, all in the palm of your hands covered in all types stickers and doodles.

Sitting outside on the porch of your shared home enjoying the calm breeze you smile holding the most recent letter delivered. Inhaling deeply catching the hints of mango as you carefully open it.

Dear Beloved,

It's been so looong!!! I can feel myself aging without you! Hope this letter finds you well! Notice how I used "beloved"? Fancy huh? Arn't I just the most romantic partner ever? (don't answer that.) This is my fifth time trying to write this and it's annoying the crew so this is my last chance before they jump me... It's just so hard y'know!? It has to be perfect. Perfect for you. Is that cringe? That was cringe sorry! I miss you lots and I think about you all the time... You'd love Petra! A camel ate my shemagh... but It's whatever. I'll buy a new one tomorrow, I'll get one for you too so don't worry! Now that I'm thinking about it the days seem to be going by pretty slow and I'm not sure if I like it much. Like I said I miss you a lot and it stinks being away from you for this long. Can't you just book a flight over here? Can't you do that for me pretty pleaseee? That's ridiculous? Okay just say you hate me and never want me to come back, just say you don't love me at all and want me to get stuck in a cave foreva. Just kidding! or am I?... (I am! >ᴗ<)

I like to imagine you’re missing me really bad counting down the seconds till I get back, which by the way I am too so don’t feel the need to deny it! I can see it now… You all shriveled up like a raisin crawling on the floor going “sloannn… sloannnn…” because of how bad you miss me hehe. Just kidding again! It’s probably the opposite let’s be real… I’m going insane without you seriously, I started talking to the hieroglyphics yesterday and the crew even caught me tasting some rocks earlier (sos!!!!)

But speaking of, they’re rushing me to “turn the lights off already” what a bunch of buzzkills ammarite? Promise to show up in my dreams okay? Who am I kidding, you’re always there regardless. Sweet dreams ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

p.s they really wanna meet you!

p.p.s take care okay? I’ll be home before you know it!!!

Yours truly,

(so romantic!!!)

“(๑´>᎑<)~*”

[dumb-phone-diaries]

So It's been like 2 months now since I started using the dumb phone. I had a few teething problems but I've actually solved a lot of the issues I mentioned in my last post. I've gotten much more used to the keyboard now and I've found a lot of shortcuts that i didn't realise were there at first so I'm now texting like a pro again.

The audiobook situation is not perfect but i've loaded this thing with a 32 gig SD card, and I found a wonderful opensource program called Libation, which scans my audible account, downloads my books and spits them into chapters all in one step. The bonus side effect of this is that I now have all of the books I've paid for stored on my computer hard drive where they won't disappear is audible changes their minds about hosting them.

This is probably very illegal and you should definitely not download it here: https://getlibation.com/

Granted, the books I'm currently listening to have chapters that are an hour long or so, and I can't exit out of the mp3 player without losing my spot. This has honestly been a blessing in disguise because it forces me to not be distracted every time I get a text message. have to wait for the end of the chapter before I can look at it. I can answer the phone without losing my place.

So yeah. the MP3 player could be better, and honestly there's no reason why it shouldn't be, I'm certain this thing has the capability, it's just shitty programming. But I'm dealing.

More significantly though. I've honestly been surprised at just how quickly my need to scroll has just gone. there wasn't even much of an adjustment period. for a couple of weeks I'd find myself occasionally picking up up my phone, unlocking it, and then locking it again and putting it down cuz there's nothing on there. But very quickly I just don't do that anymore. I don't even think about it that often. All the anxiety that I thought I was soothing, all the noise in my head that I thought i was turning off by scrolling, has just gone. The call was coming from inside the house, guys.

About once a week I come to my laptop and scroll tumblr for a few minutes, maybe half an hour, and I'm using pintrest very rarely if it's the best search engine for something I'm looking up, and I use facebook only for marketplace and my business page, and instagram again only for my business. It's forcing me to be very intentional about those things.

I've also rediscovered my ability to sit and stare into space. I haven't had the brain capacity to read a book with my eyes recently, so over breakfast I'm just... sitting and eating. Which I suppose is quite mindful. but also I'm just spacing out so maybe not. But that's something I haven't been able to do for a long time. It's nice.

I do need to get a camera though I think. I do need it for the business, I can't keep stealing my husband's phone to take pics, and sometimes he's not around when I want to make a post. Also I just like taking photos. The camera in the phone is sufficient for sending pics of things I found in the shops to my husband and sister, or sending my timesheet to my boss because his shitty software won't let me clock in on PC. But it's not good enough for product pics or anything like that.

I'm also now carrying my planner/journal/filofax thing around with me which is something i've been working toward doing for a long time. I don't have access to google calendar while out and about now so I need to write down my appointments properly. I bought a new bag that fits my journal, purse and book. I feel very cute using my planner in public.

So yeah. It's going well so far. I think this may be feasible as a permanent change.

[karlachismylife]

Okay I kinda overwhelmed myself with the amount of WIPs I wanted to whip out asap and hit the dreaded stupor, I'll try and calm down to take stuff slow (damn I get so nervous every time about the anon asks cuz like. what if people get tired of waiting for replies and get upset huh)

And in the meantime I'll post the non-fic post that I kinda thought might be useful, although now I'm already kinda scared that no one will need it or even worse, people will judge me for it. My head is not okay I'm telling you. Right.

But yeah, dear anons that sent me asks - the reason I'm not replying is cuz every one of them is oneshot-worthy at the very least (ngl the trolls one smells like multipart or a looong oneshot to me so it might take even longer since I am buzzin' about it) and i am just simply writing these oneshots as well as fighting my own head. Yeah. Yupee. I am anxious and thus my thoughts are sooo all over the place, I literally get distracted by new ideas every five minutes and forget them before I even write them down, which is a pity. And stuff.

I don't like being insecure about my writing cuz it makes me write slower...

[osscarh]

This is my first post ever and I thought maybe I could share a nice story with ya all. I've never really put it in complete order so it's time I do that.

As prelude, I own 3 cats. One of them, the oldest, is, at the time of writing this, 12 years old, with his papers noting that he was born the 6th of April 2012, 3 days after my dad's birthday. His name is Sacha, despite the vets who all name him Sasha (and also wrote that he's a girl for some reason? I mean he doesn't seem bothered but I don't think he understands English.) His name is kinda dumb but my bro named him. I prefer giving Egyptian names to my cats.

I got Sacha around 2015, I don't really remember which month. I was around 13 at the time and my first cat had just died. My mom was really feeling bad so we adopted Sacha from a center. His previous owners had placed him there cuz the lady got pregnant and apparently cats can mess with fetuses or something. Idk but I think his previous owners were lame cuz he stayed in that center for like 6 months and they took bad care of him. His claws grew in his paws, his fur got a lot of knots and he smelled really bad. He's half Persian so he needs a lot of care.

When he arrived home he was super sweet but really doing poorly. We toon him to the vet for his claws and hired a lady to remove his knots. He didn't like his new cut so the lady zooted him on I thinl weed? It was some drug, mfer has had more experiences with illicit substances than I and I'm kinda jealous tbh.

Sacha was my only cat for a while. My mom adopted Bagheera, a kitten born from one of her sister's cats when she divorced my dad around 2016 and Sacha stayed at my dad's place with me and my brother (the fucker who named him with such a lame name).

Anyway time passed, I lived my best life with my cat, took care of him, took him to vet every year for his vaccines (he goes outside), reconnected with my mom and adopted a kitten who was born in my mom's backyard and named him Settra. So that's why I have 3 cats. But back on track, in 2022 Sacha got an eye infection. We had to do a lot of ophtalmology to get it sorted and my mom helped a lot with that despite the fact that the cat wasn't even in her home. His eye's doing okay now but he needed new material be brought in his eye. Persians tend to be weak in eyes and nose.

Then when the summer vacations of 2023 ended, Sacha got sick. At first it was a minor cold so we didn't do anything, some snot in his nose, then around mid September he ate less. Come end of September and he was doing bad, still eating but always sneezing and his throat was inflamed. I brought him to the vet and he was given antibiotics that kinda helped.

By the beginning of October Sacha was doing pretty poorly and eating way less. He was always a fat cat so this concerned me a lot. The vet couldn't tell why the antibiotics weren't acting as he was supposed to have an infection so they gave him more and asked us to get a visit to a pet hospital 1h of travel away (Belgium is small, 1h of travel looks a lot for me but for American folks it's prilly shorert). So we did, got something planned for end of october. I wanted faster but they were full and he was still eating so not an emergency.

Meanwhile Sacha's health got worse. One of his eyes (not the one who had the surgery) couldn't open and he had little things in the part of forehead between his eyes that made a sort of scritchy sound when you ran your hand over it. Most concerningly, he wasn't eating. We (my mom and I) took him to another vet who did acupuncture with relative success, allowed Sacha to eat well for a day or two before going back to not eating.

I was getting really desperate so I mixed his food and fed him with a syringe for a week. I knew if my dad knew he wasn't eating, he'd suggest euthanasia as the costs of bringing a pet to the hospital are quite high. So I took his wet food, put it in my mom's mixer and mixed it for like 15 minutes when going back from school while dad was away, then cut it into even smaller bits and forcefed him with a syringe (his throat was super inflamed and small so he was probably in pain and I knew it but I couldn't stand to watch him thin like that).

On the 26th of October, we went to the hospital for him. My mom and I were reluctant to go there because it's an universitary hospital and we were kinda scared that he'd be put on life support and...I guess experimented on? We didn't want his life be prolonged if he was in constant pain but we went nonetheless. My mom took a day off work (again, she took a lot to get the cat to the vet) and I warned my Spanish teacher that I couldn't attend. She's a really sweet lady and I told her the story, she was super supportive.

The hospital was not all like we anticipated. The doctors were really charming and quite open with how much stuff cost. I speak French and the hospital staff spoke Dutch so we settled on English as a language to communicate with. Tirns out spending all that time playing dnd with strangers on discord paid off for me, I was able to talk with these docs no problem.

Of course without insurance it was expensive but it was doable to pay. They ran scans on Sacha and it was promising, they said he had an infection but had the right antibiotics for him. Since he didn't eat, they wanted to keep him there and we agreed. We gave our phone numbers and left.

When we visited Sacha the following day, they told us he had a lymphoma. It's blood cancer for those who dunno what that means (I certainly didn't till October). They asked us if we wanted to begin chemo.

I was fucking devastated. That cat had been with me through my parents' divorce, the death of family members, graduation, the lowest of my sick days and the brightest of my good days. I didn't want to leave him die of hunger without a fight.

My mom didn't have enough money to pay for it in full and my dad'd never use his money to pay for a cat's chemotherapy so I agreed to pay most of ot. I had a decent bit of money in a bank account, I basically never buy anything so pockeh money, student job money and birthday money stacked up. My dad'd never have allowed me to pay for that (neither him nor I even knew they had chemotherapy for cats) so I lied and said my mom paid for it.

He stayed at the hospital until the 31st of October, of course we visited him everyday and the hospital staff kept us informed with daily phonecalls to schedule a visit and tell us what was up. During that time (5 days since he arrived, 4 days since chemo started) they put a tube in his throat to feed him and started the chemo.

That. Shit. Worked. When we brought him home, he could open his eye again and even wanted to go for food (motherfucker do you know how much that tube costs?). He played with the other cats and we had a weekly checkup for him. I missed many Spanish classes. During his time at the center he really liked one doctor who calls him Sir and basically saved his life.

Of course he stayed at my mom's place. It was easier for feeding through his tube at first, my mom was in vacations and he needed 3 meals a day, then he stayed there. Wasn't gonna let him stay in the home of a person who'd let him die. I love my dad but fuck him for this. He admitted several times he'd have never brought my cat to that hospital (so he'd have left him die of cancer and hunger, poor cat was thinning by the day).

His tube was removed a month later and visits moved to once every 3 weeks. It's been continuing since then with me and my mom paying 50/50 for the costs. I missed a university travel to Athens because I couldn't afford it (something I'll never admit to my parents, I pretended there was drama and I didn't want to get involved) and I guess I won't leave the country this year. Honestly I'd have cut both arms to save that cat so it's a small price.

The people at the hospital love him too. He's really friendly so students can take his blood and try to take his heartbeat without worries. Problem is that he purrs too loud for a good lung listening to take place. Turns out Sacha loves getting pets and attention from groups of students and doctors who give him treats and headpats. He has done more drugs than me and has a better date game than me.

It's been quite a while now. Sacha's been doing really well and the recent reports note that he is in remission. I may have cried when I read that mail ngl. He goes outside and killed a big pigeon a few weeks ago. He plays with the other cats, he really likes Settra and for the first time in his life he does playfight. Bagheera likes him as a punching bag despite being smaller than him. My mom stays with him everyday and I visit half of the days of the week. He eats like a lion too, he went from 3 kilos to 4.7 kilos when he was last checked this Wednesday.

I guess this is a selfish post, it's kind of my way of both thanking the people who helped me like my mom, the docs and my Spanish teacher, without having to say thank you to their faces yet again, and a way of making my cat immortal in a way. Even with all the help, Sacha's gonna be gone one day, hopefully in a very long time. But this post'll remain for a while more so there'll be a trace of what humans did for that cat.

I also wanted to say that please don't be afraid to go to universitary pet hospitals if you have the means to afford it. It's a scary place, I didn't even know it existed but these people aren't out there vivisecting animals. They're really nice. And don't give up too early on stuff that matters to you, it's really worth to keep going, at least in this case.

And if you could do a few prayers for Sacha, that'd genuinely mean a lot to me.

Anyway here is the cat tax. I've included quite a few pics so this post can be even longer than it is.

Sacha as he was before he got sick:

Sacha as he was in October:

(Don't mind his lack of fur that's because he had too many knots and drastic measures had to be taken)

Sacha as he is now:

Sacha with Bagheera, on their favorite blankets.

Sacha and Settra begging to go outside (it's raining! I open the door and they don't leave!)

I love you, you dumb orange fuck.

[pure--evil]

first vore post so idk who might see this- so if you dont like dont judge. warnings: vore as a whole. digestion, not painful but still death. reader is gn and is prey. teasing pred. fem pred. unwilling prey.

you'd be somewhere in the streets, maybe lost, or perhaps you do know this place but out of fear you can't process your surroundings as properly as you should. Either way you won't escape your predator as they follow you throughout the mostly empty streets in this dark and cold night.

Not long ago you were out for some late night grocery shopping, since you didn't find anything suitable in the fridge. You knew it could be dangerous, you've seen the news. Lately there's been a pretty big predator in town who's been lurking around the streets at night, but your hunger told you to go out anyway. You should've guessed you'd end up here.

You don't even remember when she caught you, it already slipped your mind the moment you were grabbed by her strong arms that lifted you upwards.

"Looks like I caught myself a cute treat~"

Now you can get a better look at her. She's much bigger than you, and looking down to where you'd soon be you can see that you defiantly aren't her first victim of the day. She looks as if she has already digested many prey today and you might not be the last one.

"Ohh~ don't look so scared dear" she says with fake sympathy "I prefer my dessert to be sweet, not salty.." maybe she says that because of your facial expression, or it might be the tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

She opens her mouth big and wide so you could see just where you'll be going though in the next minute or so, pulling you closer and into her mouth you can feel how moist it is inside her. You can feel her tongue tasting your face, the way it moves over each small part of your head. From the nose to the forehead, and than to your ears. Every bit of your head has been tasted and you can understand that she's enjoying you with the vibrating feeling around you and the sounds of her moans as she pulls you even deeper.

Your head is about to enter her throat the closer she pulls you. You can already feel her walls tighten around your head and soon your neck as her throat muscles help her move you in deeper with each gulp. Now you can understand the situation you're in, about to be a treat to a random lady on the streets. So your body reacts.

Thrashing around, trying to get your hands to grip something to help you pull yourself out, legs kicking anything and everything you can think of at the moment. But nothing helps as you hear a sinister chuckle vibrate around you. Next your shoulders are pulled into her mouth and over to her throat, and as you can already guess where your head will soon enter you struggle even more.

Warm walls push you in further and soon your head enters her stomach, acid already filling it, and as she pulls your hips into her mouth your head is fully in. next your shoulders join and soon your waist will as well. It's harder to struggle when half of your body can't move at all but that's all you can do, struggle and hope for the best.

A specific lick in between your legs stops your thoughts completely. Feeling her tongue help her push you inwards kinda makes you feel things.. As your legs will soon join you in her stomach as well you give up your struggles to get comfortable. And as your body is forced into a curled up ball position you can hear her stomach start to work.

"Ahhh~ it's soooooooo good to have a late night snack right?" you can feel her hand pat her stomach "espacially after dinner. Best thing ever" you think she might be smiling at this moment, but you don't actually know. It's kind of ironic you'll end up as just the thing you went out for in the first place.. but at least it's warm?

Gurgles and other such noises can be heard, anyone who even looks at her will know that you're in there, but they won't know you, cuz you're just a meal now. A meal digesting away inside of a random lady on the streets who's walking to who knows where, and all you'll ever end up as is as padding on a hot woman.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

Profile Info, I guess

Guess it's time I made this cuz I don't wanna see certain things on here.

Okay, how do I do this...

Right, um. Hi, I post literally whatever comes to mind, which is mostly random polls and thoughts on stuff. I do post thoughts and bad art about stuff, but not usually. Call me minute, I guess that works. I go by she/her.

To be 100 percent clear, no racism, sexism, queerphobia, extremism, etc. I support LGBTQ+ communities, all that fun stuff. Also, no sexual crap on here, please. If you're into that, okay, just don't be on here because I'm not. (Seriously, do NOT interact at ALL if that kinda stuff is what’s on your blog, please and thank you.)

I'm essentially fine with whatever you believe in, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone physically, mentally or emotionally. If you're shoving your opinion down my or someone else's throat, get out please.

Okay, moving on, I dunno how to do this, so bear with me here.

Right, so, I post polls and thoughts and stuff. I appreciate reblogs and comments, I like hearing people's ideas and perspectives. Asks are on for now, if any one at any point breaches these terms they go off.

Editing this for the first time. I do have a small fic I upload on tumblr only, might as well link that here so people don't have to scroll for it. It's called Where the Stars Don't Shine, that's also how it's tagged on here. I'll reblog the og chapter link post every time I upload a new chapter, but the master thing for it is here.

Edit: This is up on ao3 now! Link is here.

Psst. Second edit. I have ocs now. Look at my beautiful creations.

Pulsar

Loop Doup & Bloo

Wow, third edit. Here's some aus you can ask me about (expect rambling):

Narnia Au

Witch Au

Su au (very dead, but I still have ideas about it)

Truman Show au

Oh right also this here Dentist Au (it's not an au, I'm putting it here so I don't lose it again. You can stil ask questions about it tho)

Any other written ideas go under an 'au idea' or 'drabbles' tag (they're not drabbles, but that's where they go).

Yeah, that's all I can think of. I'm not a frequent poster (by that I mean I’ll be on for like 3 straight weeks and then won’t show up for a couple days), and barely anyone sees what I post, but I don't really care. Just don't send explicit or insulting crap and we'll get along fine.

(I follow the fnaf DCA fandom, and sometimes Undertale stuff. I like the Mouse Detective, Sherlock Holmes and Watson stuff, and Sonic the Hedgehog, in that order. Oh yeah also The Amazing Digital Circus is really cool and possibly a new hyper-fixation.)

[smzeszikorova]

Word Search

Thanks to @the-stray-storyteller for the tag!

So from what I remember, the rules of this game are: Give WIP snippets containing the words you're given, and if you can't find one, list a fun fact instead. (I didn't do that cuz I'm a rebel >:3 My version's that for every word I don't have, I post a snippet that I feel relates conceptually to the word I was given. Feel free to do either.)

Open tag, as always, and also tagging @clairelsonao3, @fountainfrog-cake171, and @mjparkerwriting. Eager to get to know some of my newer mutuals, but absolutely no pressure.

Your words are: Friend, Broken, Exploit, and Error.

My own words and answers are beneath the cut. All quotes are from Pemoki & Kenacia (Book 1).

My Words : Punch, Fell, Snore, Black

Black:

She planted her boots into the black earth—still soft from the previous night’s rain—and spent another fruitless minute ramming her upper body into the carriage house door, which had recently swollen to nearly double its thickness and wouldn’t close in spite of her best efforts. Years of wear had reduced the carriage inside to a pile of snapped, protruding beams; they greeted her now through the door’s gap with the smell of rotting wood and the disconsolate air of a neglected dog greeting its owner.

Fell:

“Oh, all right, then. What about a house?” said Catherine. She sat up and scooted closer to her husband. “A big, beautiful, seaside house for the two of us, somewhere down south? You’d like that, wouldn’t you, leksijet?”  Lyn gave Catherine a smile and pulled her into a gentle embrace. “I think if you were with me, I could be happy anywhere.” “You’re no fun!” She swatted at him, narrowly missing his face, and fell backward onto the mattress while Lyn laughed soundlessly.

Unfortunately, I have neither of the others. So . . .

Punch:

I'm kind of tied between a couple gut-punch lines I really like right now, but currently, this one's my favorite.

Besides, he thought, there was a subtler kind of grandeur in the coastal cliffs of Yebroch. They resembled Qhiron’s—craggy and grey, with waves as high as cathedrals crashing rhythmically against them. Adriel hadn’t appreciated them nearly enough when he’d lived with his family a stone’s throw from the sea, but he had drawn them a few times out of boredom, and aside from the odd news article discussing Hugh Oliver’s works and legacy, these drawings and the sketchbook that contained them were all Adriel had left of Kuryeiz. They took on a special significance to him now.

Snore:

I considered briefly putting in a passage from chapter six where Adriel spends the whole day being bored out of his mind, but then it occurred to me that I actually did have a sleep-related bit in a scrapped version of Chapter One back when I thought I was good enough to make a Dream Opening™ interesting and novel. So I'm putting that here. (TW for brief gore description.)

During her waking hours, grim statistical reports and photographs of the massacred soldiers in Kenacia consumed Catherine’s thoughts, and at night, these images had recently begun to haunt her dreams as well. She frequently found herself awake hours before sunrise, her mind filled with echoes of cannon fire and visions of Pemokese soldiers lying face up with their intestines strung around their necks and their eyes bulging from the sockets. One black morning, she reflected on the events of the previous night, during which she had barely slept at all. Pervading her otherwise pleasantly nonsensical dream had been the distorted, butchered face of a man she’d recently seen on the front page of the Suvlin Chronicle.

[sweetpumpkinpieinwithcoffee]

"I" - a letter to let go of an impossible crush

I think it is time for me to put in words what I have been feeling for this damned human being (read boy) for quite some months now. Like, it won't make it hurt less that he quite friendzoned (worst colleaguezoned) me a week ago but maybe I will learn to let it go once I'll have put it out of my chest (and he will never know anyway). "I". I refuse to write your full name here, probably because I refuse to imagine an alternative universe in which you end up finding this post, track me down and know the full story behind my weird smile and my absent stares. So "I" you will be. How convenient that in the English language it is also the letter to identify myself.

"I", I haven't known you for long and therefor it is complicated for me to fully understand how down bad I am for you. Because you see "I", I am down bad. Not down bad in the sense that I want to have sex every single day with you, more like, you have infiltrated all my thoughts, all my dreams and every seconds of my fucking life.

And yet, up to a certain point I fought it "I". Up to a certain point I was determined to hate you. I thought "this guy has been recommended by this dude I don't like so of course he's going to be the worst kind of person on Earth." But "I", I was wrong. Oh so damn wrong because you are quite literally the softest person I've met in a very long time. And I kinda hate you for deceiving me like that. How dare you being kind, and smart, and interesting? How dare you make me laugh and calling me out on my bullshit? Just how dare you sitting here listening to me with kind eyes and telling me how interesting I sound? How dare you remembering what I like and don't like to the point you will leave raspberries for me -my favourite- when you love them just as much?

Truth be told, four months ago I thought I will never be your friend, I would never engage with you and we were born to be work enemies (we already have talked about how quickly I make my mind on people and change it so you won't be offended by that).

Four months ago, I called you for the first time. I was so freaking nervous. You were one of the first person I had ever interviewed for a position within our company. I was pretty new myself in it, barely a month. And of course I had never, ever, hired anyone in my life. I remember I had written everything I had to tell you. But thank the Lord I ended up on your voicemail. I could just leave a message you would probably never listen to and move on with my life. But you listened to it, and you had the nerve to call me back, when I was in the fucking train, so fucking tired after touring new offices for our now boss. I was still soooooo nervous when you presented yourself, I think I chuckled at some point cuz your name sounded so weird out of your mouth and I thought that it was the case every times someone present itself for the first time. I remember asking you if I could called you back when I'll be at my place because talking from the train wasn't practical and I didn't had my notes with me. I remember YOU laughed at that. It was the first time I made you laugh. I remember thinking "he has a nice laugh" but not thinking much of it. How stupid of me. I remember calling you back not 30 minutes after. I remember holding a plushie because I was that scared of the whole process of recruiting someone. I remember thinking, with your resume in front of me, that you looked like a guy I could walk by and never think about again. I thought you looked like the part for the position. Another IT guy, fine, not my fancy but we needed one so I was going to find one. I remember making you laugh cuz I was struggling to find my words and how kind you were when I profusely excused myself about the whole situation. Honestly, look at us now and tell me you had thought I'd be a great colleague for you? Even, dare I say it, a friend? I don't know what we are right now to be honest. Everything is so fucked up in my head and I can't talk about all of this with you for obvious reasons.

In the end, you got the job and I started planning for your arrival. It was ok, I was doing fine. My life in the office was already Hell because I hated the place and our boss and my desk-neighbor. So I was fine, one more person I could despise in my head, it was fine. And then you arrived. From the starting point, something clicked. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was because you had already remembered we were living in the same neighborhood (kinda) and asked me about great places to visit. Maybe it was how you couldn't stand me always doing everyone's chores and how you make it a point to not leave me alone. Maybe it was the way you make it a point to keep talking to me even if I wasn't really responsive. So "I" I started liking you. Especially when you started talking about cinema.

"I", I think I never said it to your face and I probably never will, but you change entirely when you start talking about cinema. Your eyes become more focused, your words more precise, and yet you are so full of life. Your hands move a little more wildly, your speech speeds up, and sometimes it's hard for me to keep up with your thoughts. But it's beautiful to listen to you. I adore it. I don't have even 1% of your knowledge on the subject, yet you treat what I say as if it's interesting. I like how we disagree on small things, like how I can hate fiercely an actor or a actress just because I don't like their face, or how I won't watch a movie if someone I dislike is in it.

Anyway, this led to the first time I thought maybe I was seeing things in the way you were with me. The first time we talked about cinema, you kind of asked me to go to a movie with you right then and there (because I told you I missed going to the movie theater with my bestie). We hadn't even known each other for more than a day, and I was a bit taken aback. Who ask a colleague to go to the movies when they've known them for less than a day? Who does that? I didn't respond. I just acted like I hadn't heard you, and you let it go. In my head, it was perfect because, honestly, what the hell had just happened? Then the next day, while we were still talking about Paris and how much I love exploring it, you asked me if I ever wanted to explore it with you. Again, we'd known each other for less than a week- what was that? And once again the scared girl I am said nothing. "I", I want you to know that I regret it now.

I think things accelerated after that. I think I started noticing more and more signs. You were always talking to me at lunch break, and increasingly you got me to talk about what I was reading, what I was listening to. You asked about sewing and my passion for fashion. You listened to me ramble on about so many seemingly pointless things. And there were always those little comment you'd make: "I knew that if I could talk about this subject with someone, it would be you," "Ilove when you info dump, it's always on topics I can discuss with my parents," "I'm countin on you to give me all the gossip from the fashion world, and I'll teach you everything I know about geopolitics." I like that.

"I", I think the first time I thought "I like him" was when you looked me straight in the eyes and told me "I wish you weren't that hard with yourself. You deserve so much better." We were talking about our disastrous love lives and how we both had bad relationships in the past. I felt seen. You were hunching in your seat so you could talk to me eye to eye and I thought I would cry. I may have cried later, in another train, thinking, "fuck how can someone I barely know see me like that?". I kinda hated you for this. But I also remember telling my best friend "I think I like him".

From this point, it was inevitable for me that we were made to be friends. I started reaching out to you, started watching movies you would recommend, read stuffs you'd mentioned and we started talking about it. Exchanging our view on every piece of media we would consume. I remember thinking from time to time "I should have said yes to that first proposition for the movies."

Then faith intervened and we would always be on each others path. Even when we shouldn't have. You would show up on the train platform right before I would got on the train. You would show up the moment I would go on our tiny balcony at work. You would send me messages on Teams right when I was feeling the lowest. You would stay with me on lunch break even if you didn't had to. You were everywhere I go and I didn't even questioned it. It was just nice. Something a nice colleague would do.

Then the texts started. Truth be told it was my fault, I sent the first one. But truth be told you never stopped.

Or at least you did not up until a week ago.

It all started innocently, talking about a show you recommended and I had started to watch. It all started with me complaining about episodes during more than 1h. And you laughed and we talked. We talked up until midnight that day and you admitted the only reason you stopped responding was because you had fell asleep and you apologized.

From this moment we were always texting, always pushing back what was only professional. Now I stay far from my phone, turn the notifications off and hope no one will reach for me. I started taking note of patterns in your favorite subjects, so I started researching them to know what you were talking about and what I could add to the conversation. I love how you were teaching me stuffs without making me feel dumb. I love how you would take interest in my point of view.

Everything went even more quickly when I fired that dumb proposition. You hadn't watch the last episodes of this show and I asked if you wanted to watch it with me since you wanted to give me your thought on them. You said yes. I came to your place. I never told you how I love what you've made out of it. It is cosy, you can easily feel at ease in it.

You were so sick that night, I was kinda sorry for you. But we talked. A lot, beside watching the show of course. It was nice. I felt at ease with you. I was still debating with myself on what I was feeling. I went home and just was happy to have spent that time with you. You had taken my mind off of my current situation. I thanked you for it. You said we should do it again. At the end of the week, on a Friday, I asked you if you wanted to meet again. You were already taken but you asked if I was free the next Sunday after the charity event I was participating in. I said yes, sure. My only thought was having another chill night with you, just talking laughing and complaining about our generation and how cursed we are.

That's one of my favorite things about you. How easy you make everything feels. How I felt safe enough to tell you how bad it was at work for me that I was already considering quitting. I loved that you didn't judge and just offered me comfort and advices. I loved that you asked about what made me feel so awful there and how you asked if you could do anything to help. I loved how you laughed at my impersonation of our colleagues. I loved how you got pissed at how some were treating me and judging the way I dress. I loved how you went straight to my defense when I try to brush it off. I loved how your eyes drifted, from times to times, to my lips. How sometimes you would bump into me on purpose in the streets, even when no one was around us and there was no reason to bump into me. And gosh, does everyone knows how I can be shy when it comes to let someone touch me. I felt safe with you. I felt like when we were talking it was just us in the world. How everything faded and I could just concentrate on what you were saying. On your body language. On your laugh. On your eyes. They felt welcoming and always thinking, wondering, pondering. Occasionally drifting from my eyes to my lips. One time I caught you staring at me. For the briefest time but you did. I could feel your eyes on my body and it made me warm. Not like if I wanted to hide. It only happened once. Or I do not know about the others times.

On that fatal Sunday, I didn't went straight to your place after the event. I went to my family. It was a nice time. I was already in my head, thinking about the evening I would have with you. I told my favorite cousine that I thought, no, was sure, I had a crush on you. She was so happy for me. Three of my others friends already knew and where thinking that from what I was describing it was more than likely that you had one on me too. I tried to not think about it. I tried to not get my hopes up. How silly of me. I'm a lover girl, of course I already had fantasies about our first kiss and how we would hide it at work. How wonderful it would be to quit my job and have a life out of this office and talking about it with you. Of course I couldn't stop myself imagining how our lives could melt into one and the other and how we would go out, watch movies, read to each others even if we do not read the same kind of books, how we would recommend new medias to each others. Of course I had already planned in my head a future as cosy as your freaking place. Of course I had planned how sleeping next to you would be like constantly being in a dream. How warm you were and how I would feel always safe from the rest of the world.

Of course I had to checked if you were still on our plans. You were. But you had a question and my heart drop so low in my stomach I thought I was gonna puck right there.

See, "I", I've lied to you. And I'm starting to think I'm pretty good at it because you never caught me. I once told you I'm not good at acting or lying. Recent events proved me wrong. I lied. Outrageously.

You asked me if I was coming to your place for more than just watching the show. You didn't said for what more but it was pretty obvious. I lied there and then. An half lie if you want my point of view. I hadn't imagine anything more than watching that show and talking and laughing. Nothing more. Or not in the sexual sense of wanting more. Intimacy? Yes. Physically? I couldn't even imagine it. So I lied. I said I wasn't interested and I thought it was already embarrassing enough. But you shot me then. Back stabbed me and twist the knife to be sure I wouldn't get up. You told me you were seeing someone. It was pretty fresh. And you thought it wouldn't be a good idea for me to come if I wanted more because of it. I think I almost cried at this message.

You had never talked about her. Ever. I can almost remember all the conversations we had, the one on romantic relationships were pretty recurrent and we laughed about it cuz we were both not looking for anything, and we both had been single for quite some times now. And I thought you would have been happy to talk about something nice in your love life if someone had shown up. I thought you would have never paint me parallel lives where we had to share a flat, mixed our books, a life where clearly we were an item. I thought you wouldn't have sent me pictures of your day or told me you didn't wanted me to thought you didn't like talking to me over the phone or how you woke up thinking about not answering me the previous night and wanting to fix it right there and then, even on a Saturday morning. I thought you would never have told me all of that if there had been someone. And it kinda broke me.

It's with sadness in my very soul that I went to your place that night. With sadness that I asked you to tell me what made you think I could be interested because if caught I was I had to change what had sold me. You didn't really answer, you said "a vibe and I wanted to check because there is no other way to be sur" so I lied again. Saying I wasn't interested, that you weren't my type. When I don't even have a type. I fall for words, not for a particular type. And we "brush it off". I think if someone deserve a medal for acting it is I. I was on my best behavior that night. Acting like a friend, or an annoying little sister. But at least you laughed and we talked and it was nice.

Inside, I was dying.

I lied the next morning at work. I needed to protect myself from any kind of reputation or gossip. I lied and said I was with someone. I put his picture on my desk and grin all day. And your attitude toward me changed. When he would come up in the conversation, brought by our mutual colleagues, you would turned your back, ignore me. You started breaking all the rituals we had. You didn't waited for me on lunch break, didn't show up on the train platform anymore. Didn't text me. It was as if from one day to another nothing was ever the same and I couldn't ask you about it.

And I felt like my heart was sinking.

"I", I envy you. I envy you so much for not feeling as much as I do all the time. I envy you for being poised enough that you don't run your mouth dumbly. I envy you for your calm. I envy you because "I" you will never know how you hurt me.

In front of you, I will forever brush it of. But inside me? "I", know that looking you in the eyes is now the hardest thing I have to do. Every times it reminds me that soon you will be reunited with her and you will go on. She will be the one in this alternative life where you mix your books, where you read together, where you watch movies and talk about your separate work life. And I will have to watch it and be the supportive friend. Sorry, the supportive colleague. Because that is the truth isn't it?

I will never be for you anything else than that. A colleague. One who came and go in your life.

And maybe, "I", in a month or two we will not know each others anymore. But "I", know that you marked my life. Somehow.

You don't believe in love at first sight, you think any relationship, may it be a friendly or romantic one, is constructed. But I would stay certain of one thing "I". While maybe we aren't meant for each other, it was cursed at first sight, and I was doomed to fall.

So, I'm sorry for lying "I", it was my only way to not break in front of you.