#I don't need you

[vengeful-mind]

Hey ‘derian, you wanna come over for dinner? Ive figured out a new recipe that i think you’d like- not too spicy dont worry

-Neth

(@nethrum)

Why would I visit you, of all people?

[lexxierave]

I Don't Need You Part 4

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

You were so deep in thought you didn’t notice your shadow growing longer from behind you. It began to creep past your feet until it flew up in front of you. Fanning out like smoke until you could no longer see anything but blackness.

               “Well, isn’t this interesting?” A voice in the darkness echoed out from behind you causing you to spin around.

               “You?” You questioned still confused by the black all around you instead of the mid-day sky that was there moments before. “How is all this possible?”

               You heard some stories from the locals in the nearby town about Grisha but nothing you heard could have prepared you for anything like this. This power to steal the sun away at will. It was fascinating to you.

               “How does it work?” You asked him, gliding your hand elegantly through the air in front of you to try and see the black whisps again but nothing of the sort came to view. The only thing visible to you was the General and yourself.

               “That hardly seems to be of importance given the situation you put yourself in.” He seethed.

               “And what situation would that be exactly?” You pointedly asked him.

               “Failing to escape for one. And faking your own kidnapping for two.” He pointed a finger at you before continuing, “After this little stunt I’m inclined to believe your first kidnapping was just another failed way in which you tried to run away. You really are such a spoiled brat.

               “You are so intolerable you know that! You know knowing about me, yet you judge me as if you do.” You cry out. You just want someone to understand you. You’re trying to plead your case in hopes that he may let you go but something about this man just rubs you raw as well.

               “I have been around long enough to know what spoiled princesses like you are like and what their needs and wants can lead to. I have no time and energy for your games either. I’m here to fulfill my mission and that is something that I don’t take lightly.” He says as he approaches you, “I won’t let anyone get in my way. Not even you.” He whispers in your ear.

               You were so focused on his words and your own stupid emotions that you didn’t realize the trap he had laid out for you until you heard a click and looked down. Attached to your wrists were a pair of shiny metal cuffs.

               “What is the meaning of this?!” You demanded to know at once.

               “This princess is how I am to ensure there are no more unexpected interruptions to our travel plans.” He said, and with a wave of his hands the darkness around you disappeared and the blue sky above was once ago rightfully above you again.

               “And what if someone comes for me again? How am I to protect myself” You questioned.

               “My men and I will handle that, but I should think you would be more than capable of thinking of something should it come to that.” He cheekily replied as he turned to walk to one of his waiting men.

               He was a little way off, waiting on a horse and holding the reins of a magnificent black one. It must have belonged to this General because you had never seen it before in your life. And while you weren’t big on riding the horse, preferring to walk the grounds and take in the sights instead, you frequented the stables enough to know all the horses.

               “Oh, must you pull so much.” You protested, still dragging your feet.

               “It wouldn’t be that bad if you would actually walk with me instead of dragging your feet about leaving.” He pointed out and your eyes went wide and the realization that you had fully been called out.

               “Maybe I would if the present company was worth walking next to.” You shot back, “What happened to that other fellow? He was nicer.” You asked just now realizing there was one missing in his party.

               “He’ll be along. Now hurry up.” He commanded tugging on the chains again.

               You huffed as you almost lost your footing but refused to lose any of your grace in front of this man, regardless of the fact you were wet as a dog and in tattered clothes. You were still royalty after all.

               “Ivan, go back to the castle and retrieve Feydor. The princess and I will carry on and we’ll meet you at the arranged stopping point.” He instructed his man once you made it to him.

                “The princess has a name too you know.” You grunted out. You were displeased with the entire treatment you were receiving. But it fell on deaf ears as both men ignored you.

               “Can I at least get a can of clothes? I’m hardly presentable.” You argued. Trying to buy yourself some more freedom but your plan was easily seen through by the general.

               “And who’s to blame for that, your highness?” He asked making you blush slightly from embarrassment, “No, I’d say you’re properly dressed for a long journey on horseback.” He cheekily replied.

               You rolled your shoulders and let out a huff, narrowing your eyes and he walked towards you once more. You were about to give him a piece of your mind when he picked you up and fitted you over his shoulder.

               “Put me down!” You exclaimed, in surprise.

               “With pleasure.” He says, as you haphazardly set you on the black horse.

               You quickly grabbed hold of the horn to prevent yourself from falling off the saddle. General Kirigan swiftly climbed on behind you and grabbed the reins.

               “Comfy?” He smartly questioned, knowing full well you weren’t.

               “No.” You replied, with a hard look on your face, trying to slide out of the cuffs.

               “Good. Now hold on tight. Wouldn’t want you to damage that pretty face with a fall.” He teased and he hit the reins hard and the two of you took off with great speed.

The speed threw you off balance slightly and you were thrown back into the General. He paid you no mind as he continued his pace and kept his eyes trained ahead of you.

You began to fidget with the cuffs on your wrists again after some time had passed.

“Stop that.” His stern voice sounded behind you.

You rolled your eyes and kept messing with the metal adorning your wrists. Pulling harder the more frustrated you got when you still couldn’t slip out of them.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The man advised you from behind you.

“Oh? And what would you do in my situation?” You questioned him, stopping your fidgeting momentarily to wait for his response.

“For starters, I’d never let myself get in your position.” He teased you. “But if I was ever captured?” He paused, his breath ghosting over the shell of your right ear. “I’d make sure all of Ravka knew my revenge.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine. Something about them sounded more like a fact than a man who was simply making an empty-handed promise.

You had heard many men make empty-handed promises vowing to get their revenge for themselves or their families, but none held the air of conviction this man behind you had. Something about him was far different than any man you had ever met, and you hated that fact.

It meant that you had no idea how to deal with this man.

You couldn’t simply bat your eyelashes at him and plaster on a pretty smile, so he’d fall over himself for your looks. And your title didn’t seem to do a thing for you as he was honor-bound to your father.

So, it started to make you wonder what this man truly cared about besides honor and duty. And could you use it to aid you in escaping whatever fate was awaiting you on the other side of the fold.

You pondered this for a while as you lightly messed with your bindings until the General pulled the reins to make the steed underneath you stand still.

Part 5

Tag List:

@drinix

[downfalldestiny]

I don't need you 🐼 !.

[self-destruct-gene]

[writersdrug]

I have a IDNY question!! Does Simon know of Konig and Kortac? Does Konig have a reputation or is he gonna be like “who’s the austrian giant tf?” Either way I’m so excited for the next chapter and hope you’re doing well!

HELLO thank you for letting me ramble about IDNY even more!!!

I think TF 141 (and SPECGRU as a whole, for that matter) know about KORTAC, kinda like they would in the games. Don't get me wrong, I've never played any of the games and I've only watched the campaign on YT, but I like to think that they aren't necessarily enemies - both companies are just hired to do a job and execute it, and unfortunately that can pit them against each other.

Now, when the two will eventually be teaming up, there will still be lots of tension and hostility. And we'll be focusing on the majority of it between Ghost and Konig, since it involves the reader.

Also, I wanna say Ghost has crossed paths with Konig when the teams are pitted against each other on missions, but I don't know if he would recognize him as "Colonel Konig," but rather as "that freakishly lanky, lumbering bastard with a funny accent who body slammed me that one time" if that makes sense lol

[aniseandspearmint]

welp, this bitch is back

and i was having such a NICE night too.

oh well, time to switch to the songs i've downloaded onto my computer for a while til ublock catches up again

[rastronomicals]

7:02 AM EST November 23, 2023:

My Bloody Valentine - "I Don't Need You" From the portmanteau album Ecstasy and Wine (February 1989)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Before they got really big

[zaliyours]

"i want you." is so much more intimate than "i need you." I don't care what ANYONE has to say. To want somebody in your life is a conscious decision. You think about the impact they have on your life and choose to desire them.

I want you to choose to have me in your life, not feel forced to.

[commissionsdarian]

How goes the vacationing? Pick up. Again. Properly this time, Adrian.

~🦉

Well, it was going nicely

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[vengeful-mind]

Are you done being a bitch and ready to have a conversation like normal adults?

- @isla-morningstar

Oh. You again. Why do you continue to persist?

[lexxierave]

I Don't Need You Part 1

You hated this. To be shoved in a room with a guard placed outside like some kind of prisoner. You softly opened the door and peered out to see the same guard from yesterday standing out there. You quickly shut the door just as silently and let out a loud sigh and headed back to your lounge chair. You hated that particular guard even more than your current situation. At least with the other guards, you could have some kind of conversation with but this one was a total bore. And something about him made you not want to stay around him alone for too long.

               How you ended up in this position was beyond you. One moment you were happily living your carefree life and the next you get a special invitation from a palace in Ravka, one which you were forced to agree to attend. The next, when you had been going about your day and visiting the nearby town, you had been grabbed from behind and someone tried to drag you away down a side alleyway. And so now you’re stuck in your room for your “own protection” until the time of the ball which was still a week away.

               You were still sulking at your predicament when a knock came at your door. Turning your head to the door you grabbed a nearby letter opener in your hand, hiding it in your long sleeve, and called out, “Enter.”

               In walked a tall man dressed in all black. You had never seen him before, you would have remembered if you had, there was an air of power and mystery about him.

               “Given your situation, I would advise you to not tell people to enter your chambers without first knowing who it was on the other side of the door.” He warned as he took in his surroundings.

               There was another man you noticed talking to your supposed guard and you noticed no signs of a fight had taken place.

               “That would indicate that you are an unwelcomed guest and that I am an easy target.” You replied smuggle.

               He gave you a look as if he was studying your every move before you raised your eyebrows and nodded your head to the doorway. He turned to look behind him and saw that you had noticed your guard and his heartrender bantering among themselves.

               “Ah. So, you’re not unobservant. That will come in handy.” He remarked turning his attention back to you.

               “Of course, I’m not! No, if you are done being rude, I’d very much like to know who it is that is standing in my bed chambers.” You demanded with as much authority as you could, holding the letter opener tightly in your hand. You made sure it was hidden up your sleeve and not seen.

               “Forgive him your grace.” His companion interrupted; having heard your raised voice he could only assume that he had done something out of line to upset you. “I’m Fedyor and this is General Kirigan. We’ve been sent to-“

               “Collect you for King Lantsov’s ball.” General Kirigan finished with a grimace.

               Something told you there was something in that sentence that left the man with a bitter taste in his mouth, but you didn’t know what it was. If it were your choice, it would be this stupid ball. Ever since you got word of it your life has been turned upside down and now. Now two unknown men are standing before you wanting to take you somewhere else a week before the damn thing even happens.

               “No.” You simply state and turn away from them pouting a little at the very thought.

               “No?” The general repeats in disbelief. “I don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in your highness.” He says as he takes long slow steps towards you.

               “There are men out there that not only want to kidnap you but some of them may just want you dead. Now we’ve traveled a long way at the request of our King to ensure his special guest for his ball arrives in safe hands. I don’t plan to let this mission go south because a spoiled princess doesn’t want to leave her ivory tower.” He reprimanded you like some sort of small child. As if he knew who you were and your wants.

               The very thought had your blood boiling and without a thought you threw the letter opener at him. He was closer to you now, about three-quarters of the way into your room and it was too late to stop the object after it left your fingers. Your hands quickly flew to your mouth when you realized what you had done.

               The knife never got close to him. The moment he saw that you had released something his shadows quickly came out and made a fast shield.

               “Maybe you’re not as helpless as they lead us to believe.” He remarks, eyes glaring at you and nostrils slightly flared.

               “You know nothing of me.” You reminded him as you glared back.

               “Ah. General Kirigan. I see you’ve met my daughter.” Your father’s voice greeted your ears, and you froze. Your eyes went wide before you quickly made your way to look more presentable.

               The three of you turn to see your father in your doorway and your guard now longer at his post.

               “Yes, we were just getting through the pleasantries.” He informed your father, and you could just die if he told him what really happened.

               “Good. Good. So, are you all set to pack dear?” Your father turned to ask you.

               So that’s how it was going to be. You could help but think as you sucked in a breath.

               “Of course, father.” You agreed politely and for the first time since his arrival, the Aleksander saw something he was all too familiar with. Someone forced to put on an act in front of a royal figure.   

               The fire and passion he saw earlier was gone and replaced by a dutiful princess but soulless if ever there was one. Not everyone would be able to see through the act though, he’d give you that credit.

               “Excellent! I’ll send the servants in to pack everything up for you and we’ll send it behind you. You just pack what you need for a two-day journey.” He informed you.

               Two days. That’s all you would have before your life would forever change. Two days and nothing you knew before would be the same. And did you really trust your life to a man who could so easily make your blood boil so quickly?

Part 2

@drinix

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[writersdrug]

I look forward to seeing Simon in the next few chapters. All the flashbacks that the reader had about him make my heart ache 🥺 thank you for sharing your work with us, I really enjoy it 🫶

I'm so excited to bring him back in!! I know people have been saying that his storyline so far doesn't really fit hum, he wouldn't be so out of line and angry - and I agree, but that was purposely done so we can see how both he and the reader have developed over time. Reader isn't the only one going through extreme character development!

I will say, further in the story there will be a lot of angst and emotional tension between the three. I love writing complex emotions so I'm gonna have a blast with it, I can't promise you guys the same lol. But thank for for your ask!!