#I don't like my own writing is that normal

[julissart]

This reminds me of when I was in the MLB Fandom, early 2019, I was just beginning my account and drawing (really bad drawings) when I made a little comic with an unusual ship, someone asked me if they can repost it in their page, I was happy someone took so much interest even when it wasn't that good, my post got barely any likes at the beginning, then it become my most liked post with 200 and increasing, normal stuff, then after some days I decided to check the page who asked me about the mini comic, it had thousands of likes and hundreds of comments, it was there that I could see how many people liked my silly idea, now that I think about I felt weird, there was joy of course but every now and then the only way to see more comments was through that page, to see people talking and laughing, it was like invading something I myself created (don't blame the person, Instagram algorithm was always a sh* with my account (still is). Later I deleted it.

Now back with the subject, since last year I was reading fics and loved them very much but I was too shy (introvert even online) to say something, it wasn't until I made my own fic that I understand the impact of a comment and knowing that people like what I write, even if it's bad, I even was able to finish a multichapter fic with the idea of make 1 person that commented happy, so yesss I get it, from the moment I see the truth I decided to go back to all those fics and leave my thoughts and kudos and everything to return the feelings their fics made me feel, I wasn't usually very open but I'm still trying to be better, hope for all your projects and drawings and fics to receive the love they deserve 💜

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Zayne: A Few More Minutes | SFW

I'd like to apologize if this isn't my best work. I debated not posting this because when I initially tried writing it, I was at work and I was overstimulated, so I don't know if it makes perfect sense. I tried tho, I really did.

Pairings: Zayne x Reader Warnings: Angst with Comfort, Nightmares Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Zayne

It had confused you at first, his hesitance at the start of your relationship. Before you two even began dating, he had been on edge with the thought of you sleeping under the same roof as him. It wasn’t until you had come into his office that one day that you found out why.

The nightmares.

He had been sleeping in his office, probably exhausted from work. It was a fitful sleep, and by the time you got over to him, he was in a full blown panic. You had woken him up, let him hold onto you, let him breathe and calm down.

Zayne initially never wanted you to see that, never wanted you to have to wake up in the middle of the night to his whimpers as the nightmares plagued his dreams almost every night. That was until you had insisted on staying the night with him, telling him it was okay.

He had woken up, as per usual, tears staining his cheeks and his heart hammering in his chest. It was different this time, though. He could feel your hand running through his hair, the scent of your shampoo pressed against his nose, and your soft voice whispering that he was alright.

His arms had instinctively wrapped tighter around you, not daring to let you go. You were the only thing grounding him as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

You had never seen Zayne truly cry, the time when you saw his episode in his office he had managed to hold back. This time, however, in the comfort of his own bed in the middle of the night, with you wrapped up around him, he couldn’t help it.

He didn’t make much noise, but you could feel the wetness of his tears as it ran down your neck. Your hand never stopped playing with his locks, doing your best to comfort him. However long he’d need, you’d be happy to stay there for him.

You weren’t even sure how long you two had laid there with him in your arms, but you do recall how his body had slumped as he managed to calm down enough to fall back asleep, never uttering a word about what happened. Your eyes had grown heavy after that, seeing him now peaceful in your arms.

Then you woke up to the sound of birds outside, your alarm ringing on the bedside table as you groaned. Zayne was still in the same position he had fallen asleep in, slowly rousing from his own sleep.

“Zayne…?” You murmured, checking the time. You were used to him being the first one awake to get ready for work, but in your sleep addled brain you recalled he had the day off.

Zayne groaned against you; despite what everyone seemed to think, Zayne wasn’t a robot. He didn’t like mornings, especially early ones. He knew the importance of making the most of his day though, and making it to work on time, so he’d wake up before the sun even came out normally. So seeing him groggy like this was a treat, the stubborn side of him winning out as he didn’t want to start the day.

“Zayne, come on.” You murmured, “I gotta get ready for work.” As much as you didn’t want to work, you understood it was a necessary evil to pay your bills.

“No,” the word slipped out of Zayne’s mouth before he could even register it, his arms wrapping tighter around you, “Stay here.”

You felt like your heart was melting as you brushed his bangs out of his face, catching a glimpse of tired hazel eyes staring at you, “Are you suggesting I play hooky today?” You teased; the ever responsible Zayne was trying to convince you to call out of work.

“I can write you a doctor’s note…” he murmured, his head nuzzling into you, “Just gimme a few more minutes.”

“Are you sure it’ll only be a few?” You asked, knowing he was falling back asleep already. His nightmares always tended to leave him more exhausted when he woke up.

“Mhn…” he couldn’t even bother with a response as he closed his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll text Captain Jenna and tell her I caught a cold.” You said leaning over to grab your phone, but his grip on you tightened again, “Zayne, I need to at least tell her something.”

“Just a few more minutes.” He tried again.

“You got five minutes before I roll over to text her, then I swear we can relax for the rest of the morning in bed.” You settled on, your arm going to curl around him.

In the end, it was more than a few minutes as you both drifted off to sleep.

[satsuha]

i'm always really interested in how the characters call each other in japanese games, so i laid out a few differences between the japanese and english versions of some ace attorney games that particularly interest me. this isn't meant to be an exhaustive list but it did get really long 😭

i highlighted english nicknames/etc in blue while japanese nicknames/etc are orange just to make reading a little easier

AA1-2

while only playing the english version i liked that maya called phoenix nick, it's a nickname that makes sense and phoenix is annoying to say and write anyway (lol) but the reason maya gives for this nickname in english is that it's what larry uses for him, which pales in comparison to maya in the japanese version opting for how mia used to call him: naruhodo-kun.

to me, this is a LOT more meaningful and informative than the english nickname because it not only is evidence of how much maya heard about phoenix from mia using that nickname, it also gives us a glimpse of maya's personality and her relationship with phoenix. -kun is an honorific that's usually used for either male classmates or for teachers/superiors to use with their students/subordinates. maya falls into neither of these categories with phoenix, but it also lines up with how she acts like the boss of the office a lot of the time. SO LIKE... ultimately the nickname nick just does not hold up in terms of both maya's reasoning for using it, and phoenix's apprehension at her calling him that... which i just think is a shame!! in the same vein, this nickname is passed down to pearl, and again you see phoenix having a Reaction to it which makes sense considering it's funny that a kid is calling him naruhodo-kun...

i don't only want to talk about changes in english that i don't prefer, so i also want to mention that i'm very impressed that they managed to get phoenix and edgeworth referring to each other by their surnames in english to sound natural... because it's also exactly what they do in japanese except there, the idea of male friends using their surnames with each other is a very very normal thing. i AM torn on the fact that in japanese larry also refers to the two of them by their surnames, which means all 3 of them are on equal grounds in that respect. AT THE SAME TIME... english makes larry's "nick" and "edgey" work so well that i really can't say we missed out with this localization, but i do like the relationship between these 3 so i do like that the japanese is indicative of it too :)

AA4

i'm skipping ahead to aa4 because trucy's also a very interesting localization to me... the first time i played aa4 i felt like trucy wasn't sufficiently differentiated enough from maya's character which is like. debatable but those were my initial thoughts anyway. in japanese though she uses third-person pronouns (calling herself by her own name, minuki) which is VERY distinct from maya. there are a number of ways to interpret this choice but i like the one that indicates that it's part of her stage persona. aside from that though, she also has a very normal nickname for apollo (odoroki-san, with -san indicating general politeness) while polly is um well canonically the name of a parrot LOL

i do find it pretty interesting that the above exchange is the first instance trucy uses the polly nickname, because it's entirely different in the japanese version. phoenix says "if this onii-chan over here can't help you..." to which trucy responds by saying "how could you, onii-chan!" this exchange is hilarious to me because phoenix referring to apollo as an onii-chan is pretty normal? it's common to refer to any young man as that and in this case he's also referring to apollo from trucy's perspective. but trucy DIRECTLY calling apollo onii-chan (brother) is just so funny because HERE it's a lot closer to how an actual younger sister would refer to her older brother; there's a difference between saying "this onii-chan" and just "onii-chan". now i'm not saying this was direct foreshadowing because onii-chan is also used between close friends/acquaintances but like... the possibility is there.

AA5

now onto simon because i don't actually have a problem with the localization making him a british weeaboo i think that's really funny but i DO wish the nicknames he uses for the defense attorneys were more... appropriate? the honorific -dono that he uses in english does complement his samurai look but it's usually used in contexts where there's some respect involved, which is... not simon's intention in japanese. i'm admittedly not too familiar with the nicknames he uses in japanese; he uses "[kanji] no ji", while using a kanji from phoenix/apollo/athena's surnames. by searching it in japanese, i'm finding answers that it was medieval slang used by men usually in red light districts and such, and was used to refer to those with equal or lower status to oneself but never to those of higher status. this is kinda the opposite of what -dono is which is used for those of equal or higher status!!

i also find it pretty amusing that despite him using the first kanji in phoenix's name; 成 (turn into, grow), he uses the second kanji in both apollo and athena's names; 泥 (mud) and 月 (moon) respectively. i can only imagine that he did this because the first kanji in their names; 王 (king) and 希 (rare, hope) respectively, were too positive/complimentary for him? LOL

AA6

now i want to to talk about apollo in aa6 because NNGNRHGH i'm not normal about this one. because like, similarly to what i said up there about phoenix, edgeworth and larry's relationship, it's completely normal for close male friends to use their surnames with each other. phoenix, being apollo's boss, refers to him as odoroki-kun (mirroring how mia and maya call phoenix). trucy uses odoroki-san, indicating general politeness and athena uses odoroki-senpai, because he's her senior in their workplace. clay uses odoroki (no honorific), which is the same "level" as phoenix/edgeworth/larry's relationship.

a male character never being referred to as their first name is pretty normal, which is also the case in the aa games. franziska calls edgeworth by his first name reiji which is SUPPOSED to stand out because it's notably impolite/informal for someone who is younger than him, which suits the idea of her thinking of herself as the elder sibling. for additional reference, phoenix is only referred to by his first name by dahlia/iris; ryuu-chan ("feenie" equivalent) and desiree; ryuuichi-kun ("nicky boy" equivalent). so apollo is referred to exclusively by his surname, because there isn't anyone who's associated with him who would feasibly use his first name.

THAT IS. UNTIL we meet datz who is the first (!!) character to use apollo's first name in japanese. this moment doesn't stand out in english because i KNOOWWW datz uses the AJ nickname which is very cute but he doesn't actually use that nickname the first time he indicates that he knows apollo in case 6-3!! phoenix's momentary confusion here is also explained because while he obviously knows apollo's full name, he's never heard anyone refer to him with it!!!

so phoenix's thoughts in japanese here were originally "housuke... wait, that bracelet! that's odoroki-kun!"

dhurke and later nahyuta (during the last moments of the 6-5 trial) also refer to apollo with his first name, which is... really nice!!! they're family!!!! i mourn the fact that this distinction isn't visible in english because most characters just call him apollo but it's special in japanese... it's only dhurke, nahyuta and datz who use his first name.... i'm normal i promise

funnily enough i sort of have the opposite issue with nahyuta, who is generally referred to as prosecutor sahdmadhi in english but nayuta-kenji (prosecutor) in japanese. i'm assuming this is because his name is written with his given name first unlike japanese names, so they just used his given name instead of his surname...? unfortunately we don't have an example of any other foreign prosecutor as reference (i'm excluding van zieks here because they DO use his surname but it's also an entirely different time and place) but i prefer the english here since it also makes it stand out when apollo, dhurke and datz (with yuty hehe) use his first name with him.

but then again... rayfa also refers to him as prosecutor sahdmadhi in english, but just calls him nayuta in japanese. there aren't a lot of characters rayfa refers to by name but generally she's either overly polite (with ga'ran and inga) or overly impolite (with phoenix and apollo). it makes sense that the way she calls nahyuta is a little unique, since he's of lower status than her but not enough to get a rude nickname fdjhja... and then of course at the end of the game she tries to call him onii-(chan? san? sama? we just don't know) which nahyuta interprets as oni (demon) i think the localization here is really impressive actually. they somehow managed to seamlessly fit braid head into the mix of barbed head and horn head (both nicknames that refer to their hairstyles) while braid also begins with the same letters as brother... anyway i think i slightly prefer that rayfa (and ga'ran) call nahyuta by his first name rather than by his prosecutor title, it's indicative of their higher status because of the lack of an honorific but by the end of the game it fits in with the idea of them all being family...

TGAA1-2

you would think that because tgaa opted to leave japanese honorifics in the dialogue that there wouldn't be any differences in how the characters refer to each other but there are... first of all kazuma and ryunosuke are once again male friends who refer to each other by their surnames without an honorific in japanese, but the english has them use their first names with each other instead. i can understand this change because characters using only their surnames with each other feels oddly distant in english, and while it worked for phoenix and edgeworth's relationship it definitely doesn't suit kazuma and ryunosuke's.

additionally, the way susato calls ryunosuke was also changed from naruhodo-sama to naruhodo-san. this is... also an interesting change since it requires the player to have some basic knowledge of japanese honorifics but for some reason decided to change it anyway, despite the fact that susato also uses -sama with kazuma... one thing to note is that susato does use kazuma's first name instead of his surname like she does with ryunosuke, which helps indicate their closer relationship despite her still showing respect with the -sama honorific. in that sense naruhodo-san feels like an interesting middle ground because she's still using his surname but doesn't seem to view his position with her as equal to kazuma's? i assume that was the intent of the localization, similarly to how the way kazuma and ryunosuke call each other was changed to indicate closeness to the english-speaking player

--

anyway while i do prefer the original japanese version most of the time, my general view of original vs localization is like wow! two cakes! i might prefer one of those cakes more, but the english version usually provides enough that i like that both canons exist. because of this i can't agree with the idea that all localization is bad nor the side that believes the original doesn't matter because you're engaging only with the english side of the fandom. both are good and can reveal interesting things about the characters, story and setting!!

and thank you for reading if you got this far 🙇 i'm not an expert at japanese so i try to do my research and use multiple sources to get a better view of things, so please let me know if i got anything wrong! i also recommend checking out this post if you haven't seen it already since it's where i got some pointers on the trucy and simon segments

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 5- Miles Between Us

Summary: Frankie's decision to join the Army was the catalyst in the collapse of your friendship. When he's forced to reconcile with his past, packed away in boxes in his childhood basement, he finds pieces of you in everything he's left behind.

Word Count: 5.0K

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (reader has a name/nickname)

Warnings: Angst, lying, guilt, military deployment, FEELINGS, Frankie's mom not putting up with his shit

A/N: IT'S TIME TO PEEL BACK ANOTHER LAYER OF THE ONION, BABY!!! I hope you guys don't hate me that this is a slow burn- I know this is not how I normally write at all, but it's been really fun to build this story up bit by bit (if you hate it though, please tell me lmao 💀) I'm excited for this chapter and how it hints at next chapter (we're finally getting to some smut y'all, omg) Thank you as always for your kind words, it makes my day to hear what you have to say about these two 🥺💛

All The Things We Never Said Masterlist

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

You, Age 17, Spring of 2006

“You’re late, Morales.” 

“Can’t be late to something we don’t have a set time for, Anderson.” 

It’s true, you and Frankie have never set an official schedule for your afterschool ritual, but it never seems to fail that at 3:45, only 10 minutes after you’ve gotten home from soccer practice,  he’s at the foot of your bed with his forest green Jansport backpack, ready to complain about the homework he doesn’t want to finish and the tests he has no interest in studying for, just so he can keep you company while you stress yourself to death about the same assignments. 

And for as much as he hated school work, Frankie was never late. Never. So to watch him mope into your bedroom an hour later than his usual arrival time, it almost would have been safer to assume he was dead than anything else. 

“What took you so long? Get lost on the way here?” You joke, trying to keep it light while still prodding for an answer about his absence as you write down the answer to the math equation you’re trying to solve. 

“No. Don’t worry about it.” 

There’s been very few occasions you’ve seen Frankie so stoic. Even on his worst days, he’s at least still got a little tolerance left in him for your stupid banter. It’s enough to draw your attention completely away from your homework and onto him. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you being so weird?” 

You can tell then that something’s clearly not right, the way he’s angrily yanking loose papers and textbooks from his backpack and nearly slamming them onto the edge of your bed, making you gnaw anxiously at the end of your pencil you’d been using. 

You’re too nosy for your own good to let up until you find what you’re looking for. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” 

“Well obviously something’s wrong.” 

“What? I’m not allowed to be late, ever?” 

“No? Frankie, I just asked where you were and you’re acting like I’m asking you if you just shot the fucking president or something. What’s going on?” 

“It’s nothing, MacKenzie!”

“If it’s nothing, then why are you so upset about it?” 

“I’m not upset!” 

“You clearly are? Frankie, what the hell are you-” 

“I’m joining the Army, okay?!”

Out of all the things you could have expected to come out of Frankie’s mouth, that would have been at the bottom of your list. In fact, it’s so out of left field, you’re not even quite sure you believe him. 

Your forehead hurts from how tightly your brows are knitted together in confusion, scowling at Frankie with a dumbfounded intensity that probably had you looking like you had just gotten an unsuspecting whiff of the world’s most sour lemon. 

There’s no way he’s being serious. He can’t be. 

“Ha ha, very funny, Francisco.” You mock, frown still splayed across your face, “Now will you please tell me what’s actually going on?” 

His silence makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. You can feel the way your face falls, the muscles once tensed in adamant skepticism now sinking into a quiet panic. You can hear each breath as it flows in through your nose and out through your mouth, blood pounding louder and louder in your ears with each pulse of your veins. 

“Frankie, if this is one of your stupid jokes, it’s not funny.” 

“It’s not a joke.” 

His eyes are still peeled to the floor, too afraid to bring himself to look at you. All he can do is stare at his pinky toe, poking out of the hole in his socks that he refuses to replace. You wait for what feels like hours, days, for him to say something, but his silence is deafening. And the sound of Frankie’s silence is the scariest thing you’ve heard in a very long time. 

It’s so terrifying, the only thing you can do to cope is fill the quiet void with your rambling and pray that Frankie Morales is choosing to play the world’s worst joke on you. 

“What- what do you mean? Frankie, I thought- When you and Santi talked about doing the same thing as Will- I thought you were fucking kidding? What about college? We already both got accepted to Florida State, what are you gonna do-” 

“I didn’t get in.” 

Please let him be kidding. Please, please, let this be a sick joke. 

You can feel your confusion starting to bubble into anger, jaw clenching at the way Frankie’s too coward to even look in your general direction, gaze still glued to that stupid fucking hole in his worn down sock. 

“Frankie, what the fuck? We both got accepted back in January? You’ve been lying to me this whole fucking time?” 

“I didn’t wanna lie, okay?!” 

He’s riddled with enough guilt to speak up, trying to keep himself from the brink of tears as he works up enough courage to finally look you in the face. You can hear how hard he gulps, like his heart is bobbing in his throat, trying to buy all the time he can to come up with a reason for his deception that won’t hurt you any more than he already has. 

“I just- fuck,” he sighs, chewing at his bottom and bouncing his leg against the bed so intensely it’ll make him sore the next day, “I didn’t know what to do, Kenz. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” 

It’s hard to stay mad at him when you know he means it. It’d be easier if it weren’t for the way his brown eyes flooded with disappointment in himself, spilling out in tears onto his cheeks. For as frustrated as you are, you have enough sympathy to ease up on him enough to at least try to understand. 

“Well, not lying to me about it for the last four months probably would have been a good start.” You huff, the air that puffs from your nostrils still tainted with the let down you’re trying so hard to not let override your conversation. 

You can’t help but let yourself find a spot next to him on the edge of your bed, a peace offering that you hope is enough to signal to him you’re willing to listen to what he has to say. 

“I- I didn’t think you were being serious when you and Santi were talking about it. I- I thought you- I thought the plan was to go to Florida State. Together. What happened, Frankie?” 

It’s quiet for a few more moments. Frankie takes a few, slow deep breaths as he runs his hands through the curls twisting at the nape of his neck. The silence isn’t as bitter as before, but it stings enough to gnaw at the edges of your nails, the anxious habit you can’t seem to break, and certainly have no intention of giving up right now.  

“Stop chewing at your nails, Kenz. You’re gonna be pissed at yourself later.” Frankie sighs, gently grabbing your wrist to pull your hand away from your mouth, trying to fulfill his duty of being the one to stop you from ripping your nail beds to shreds. 

“You’re kinda making it hard not to.” You try your best to attempt a laugh. It’s the only way to keep yourself from crying. “So are you gonna tell me what’s going on or what?” 

“Y-yeah.” Frankie re-adjusts himself on the edge of the bed, twisting the fabric of your comforter between his fingers, trying to ground himself in the reality of the truth he’s forced to tell you, “I- I didn’t get into Florida State. I told you I did because I didn’t know what I was gonna do. You were just so excited when you thought we both got in and I- I panicked and I lied. I didn’t even think I was gonna get in anyways. I didn’t think I was gonna get in anywhere. Even if I did, I don’t know if I even could have afforded it. It’s just me and my mom and neither of us-”

“It’s not too late. I can help you look for scholarships. To help you with tuition. I’m sure that there’s a bunch out there that you could apply for. I’ll even write your essays and stuff for you if you want me to-” 

“I’m pretty sure you can’t do that, Kenz. Plus, you hate cheaters.” 

Frankie tries to reciprocate the same half-assed laugh you gave him. He looks over at you, the small smile he’s forcing to keep between his lips quickly fading as he sees the way you’re pleading with him to realize that you would forge a thousand essays in his name if it meant he wasn’t going to leave you. He’d be a cheater you’d gladly forgive. 

“It’s not even just the money. I just- I- I don’t even like school, Kenzie. I suck at it. If school is already hard now, how much harder is it gonna be when I get to college? To study for a job that I’m probably not even gonna want when I graduate? At least with the Army I can have a job and benefits and hopefully make enough money to help my mom so she’s not working at the hospital 6 days a week. MacKenzie, the only reason I applied to Florida State was because of you. I thought that maybe there would be some miracle I got in and I could figure out how to pay for it and I could magically get smarter and better at school so we could spend the next four years together. I wanted it to happen. I wanted it to happen so bad. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I just- fuck- I just didn’t know how to tell you.” 

Neither of you are quite sure what to say next. That quiet comes back to fill the space between you, allowing enough room for the silent sobs you’re both trying your best to hold in, small sniffles still escaping from each of you. You’re not sure if your brain has fully processed what he’s had to say. The only thing you can understand is the swirling of sadness and confusion in your gut and the pounding ache in your chest. 

You take a scooch closer to him, the outsides of your thighs barely brushing together as you tilt your head to rest against his shoulder. It’s heavy, the weight you can’t help but lean against him, but the arm he wraps behind your back and around your waist tells you that he’ll gladly take it. He’ll take it all, if he has to. 

“Did you already sign a contract to go?” The whisper of your words is so soft, like you’re hoping he can’t hear you. If he can’t hear you, then he doesn’t have to tell you the answer you don’t want to hear. 

“Yeah. Me and Santi did a few weeks ago.” His voice is almost quieter than yours, convinced he has the same idea as you. 

His truth stings worse than the lie he’s been masquerading behind the past four months. You want to scream at him- To curse him with shouts and sobs, question how he could make this choice for himself and leave you in the dark until it’s too late for you to change his mind. You know it’s selfish, the way you want him to stay, the way you would have fought with every bone in your body to keep him from leaving. You know it’s the reason Frankie couldn’t tell you. 

It’s the same reason why Frankie couldn’t bring himself to tell you that if he had given you that chance, he probably would have stayed. 

“Do um- do you know when you have to leave?” 

It hurts to hear the words come out of your mouth. It’s an admittance of defeat. Because once you ask that question, there’s nothing you can do or say that will make him stay. No fighting, no begging, no pleading. You have to accept he’s leaving. 

“Not ‘til the end of the summer.” 

“Where?” 

The more you ask, the more it makes you want to keel over the edge of the bed and vomit, the reality of it all setting in at an alarming pace. 

“Missouri for basic training. I don’t know where after.” 

He doesn’t have to say where. You both know. Even if he doesn’t know the exact longitude and latitude of where the Army will deploy him, there’s nowhere else they’re sending him besides Iraq or Afghanistan or whatever godforsaken, war ridden country in the Middle East he’ll be forced to put his life on the line for. 

And for how much the reality of Frankie leaving scares you, when you’re hit with the reality that Frankie may leave and never come back, you’re absolutely terrified. 

“I don’t want you to go, Frankie.” 

You can’t beg him to stay. There’s no amount of bargaining you can do with him or the powers that be to change what’s been done. All you can do is tell him your truth as you sob into his chest while he holds you. Maybe if you’re not enough to make him stay, you’re at least enough to make him want to come home. 

You’re not sure how long he holds you while you cry. Maybe it’s minutes, maybe it’s hours. However long it is, all the moments you have left with Frankie feel that much more precious. You won’t let any of them slip through your fingers. 

“You promise you’ll come home, right?” 

“I promise, MacKenzie. I promise.” 

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Francisco Morales, it’s that he’ll never break a promise. You just hope the universe is kind enough to let him keep this one, too. 

“I promise that we’ll have a really fun summer together before I leave too, okay? Whatever you wanna do, Kenz, I’ll do it.” 

“Anything?” 

It’s enough to peek your head out from the crook of his neck, trying your best to wipe away your tears with your sleeve, like you hadn’t just stained the better part of Frankie’s sweatshirt with the same wetness. 

“Anything.” 

“Alright, well, I guess we’re gonna go to Dairy Queen and get an extra large blizzard every day until you’re too fat for the Army to want you anymore.” 

The two of you giggle, a quiet symphony of soft snorts and sobs at the idea of rolling an ice cream filled Frankie off to boot camp. It makes him laugh even harder that he wouldn’t put it past you if you really did try. Perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you did. 

“Whatever you want, MacKenzie. I’m all yours.” 

Frankie, Present 

Frankie’s convinced he might as well start training for a marathon at this point. 

He’s not really sure how else to spend his time. It’s hard to keep himself occupied when all he can do at home is sit around and wait for your dad to die or stare out the window like a creep to watch your comings and goings. 

At least if he’s running, he can’t think about you. 

Well, he can’t think about you as much. 

It’s been a day and a half since he decided to follow you on your run. He’s already pushed his luck enough that you didn’t damn near kill him for it, let alone that you even gave him a chance to talk to him. 

He let you take the first  shift on the morning yesterday, despite the fact he’d been awake well before the sun rose. The irony wasn’t lost on him at the way he watched you through his bedroom window the same way he did most Saturday and Sunday mornings for the first few years of your friendship. You’d be up at the same ungodly hour as him, except you’d be pacing up and down your driveway, stretching and lunging across its length as you clicked around on the iPod wrapped around your forearm, searching for whatever song would pump you up for your run. 

It wasn’t until you had finally noticed Frankie peering out his bedroom window every weekend that you began to drag him along on your runs with you. 

“If you’re awake too, you might as well come running with me, Morales. It’ll be fun!” 

“Fine. I gotta warn you though, Kenz, I am actually pretty fast.” 

“You barely run the mile in gym class.” 

“Savin’ up all my energy for when I need it most, Anderson.” 

There was once a time where you would have to beg Frankie to come with you on a run. Now, he’d give anything for you to tolerate his existence ten feet behind you. 

But he’ll sacrifice another run alone through all too familiar roads of his childhood subdivision if it helps him kill time and keeps you from hating him anymore than you rightfully deserve to. 

Yesterday, he went on two runs to pass the time. Hell, today, he’d consider adding a third run to his underwhelming schedule just to keep himself busy. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, he can’t tell yet) for him, Maria Morales has other plans. 

And when Maria Morales has plans, it’s in Frankie’s best interest to drop anything else he had in mind for the day. 

Even when it means he’s got a hot date with his basement and a mountain full of boxes in his basement. 

“Okay, anything in this pile to the left is for you to go through.” His mom grunts, lifting up one last box to add to the heap labeled “Francisco’s things” in her perfectly curved cursive, “If you want to take it home, find an empty box to put it in, but not my new clear, plastic bins, entiendes (understand)? Those were expensive.” 

“No clear plastic bins, got it.” Frankie chuckles, following the exaggerated step his mother takes over his scattered belongings. 

“If you see something and you don’t want it now but you want me to keep it for later, you can put it over on the shelf by the stairs. If you think it’s basura (trash), leave it over here and let me look at it first before you throw it away.” 

“Comprendido (got it).” Frankie nods, sizing up the stack his mom has set out for him, “Jesus ma, this is gonna take me all morning to go through.” 

“If you were home more, there would be less things to go through now.” 

“Yeah, well, you got me there.” Frankie grumbles under his breath, grimacing at the harsh reality of his mom’s words. He knows isn’t meant completely out of malice, but he can’t deny it’s certainly got some truth to it as well.  

“Okay, well I need to go run some errands, and I want this pile sorted by the end of the day, so standing here and moping certainly isn’t going to help that. Get to work, mijo (son).” 

His mom will never be one to throw a pity party for anyone, and most definitely won’t be throwing one for her son, based on his own, self-inflicted problem. Frankie helps her step over another makeshift pile scattered for sorting across the basement floor, giving him a quick pat on the back before disappearing upstairs, leaving him to quite literally unpack his past. 

“Fuck. Okay.” He sighs to himself, gently kicking one of the edges of flimsy cardboard at the bottom of the tower, trying to formulate his best plan of attack to make his sorting as painless as possible. 

He’s thankful that his brain has always worked in a way that allows him to analyze things so quickly, doing some quiet calculations in his head as to the most effective and efficient way to sort through god knows what may be hidden in the pile his mom has created for him. 

He runs his hand through the still messy curls of his morning bed head before selecting what feels like the lightest boxes and moving them off to the side, opening up a cardboard container from the next layer. 

Besides the trophies still in his room, every prize he’d ever won for every sport he’d ever played sits in the box below him. Frankie chuckles to himself, picking up some from the top to examine them, thumb gliding over the fake gold plating to read plaques like “Florida Junior Divisional Freestyle Swimming Finalist- 2005” or “Regional Championship Winners- Florida Firebirds 2007” glued to poorly sculpted plastic statues of swimmers. A few more medals and certificates had sunk to the bottom of the box, Frankie quickly grazing through its contents before rehoming it to the “trash” pile, unsure of when he would ever need proof he won several swimming competitions in high school. 

The next few boxes were more of the same- His varsity jacket, old t-shirts he wouldn’t stand a chance fitting into, considering the gangly figure that stretched them more than a decade ago, some old books from high school he’d only kept because of how much you loved them and he promised you that one day, he’d read them, too. 

It’s the shoe box that catches his eye next, sure that no matter how much his mom loved to hoard, whatever was in there most definitely was not a raggedy, holy pair of Converse from high school. 

It’s not until he picks up the box that he knows exactly what’s inside. It’s one of the lightest things he’s picked up in the last hour, but when he knows the weight of its contents, his arms want to tremble. 

It’s with a long deep breath that he brings the shoebox over to an open patch of floor, letting out a grunt and cursing his knees as he sits down cross legged with the box in front of him. He gently flips open the lid, hand running over his face and down the back of his neck when his suspicions are confirmed. 

Open envelopes spill out over the edges of the worn cardboard, the box stuffed to the brim with every letter you’d ever written to him while he was away.

Even if he wanted to, he’s not sure he could ever physically bring himself to throw them out. Those letters have more miles on them than most people’s cars will ever reach in a lifetime, flimsy, stamped pieces of paper following him to every corner of the globe he’s traveled to. 

Some letters he’s read so much, they’re worn on the edges where he’s held the paper, smudging the pen that’s reached the sides of the pages. Others, he’s only read once. He’s not sure he could ever bring himself to read them again. But regardless of their contents, he’d made a promise to you they’d stay with him. 

“Better not get rid of those letters, Morales. Do you know how many hand cramps I’ve given myself trying to find the words to send halfway across the world to you? You better promise me you’ll keep ‘em.”  

His commitment to the folded pieces of paper ring in his ears as his fingers drag across the tops of the open envelopes. He can’t help the way his index finger and thumb pinch the paper below his grasp, carefully tugging a random letter out of its shoebox storage. 

It’s a gut wrenching gamble, the game he’s about to play, a roulette of making his heart ache from joy or pain depending on the one he chooses to pull. He’s already placed his bet as he pulls the lined piece of paper out of the envelope- He’s not getting the money he’s already placed on the table back, so he might as well pray he makes a return on his investment. 

With one more deep breath, he unfolds the tri-fold creases, ready to watch his bet play out before him. 

August 18th, 2006

Frankie, 

I hope I sent this letter to the right place! I looked on the website and it said to send mail to new recruits (that’s you, Morales), to this address, so no one better be holding my letter to you hostage. 

Anyways, how’s training so far? Did they make you shave your head yet? I hope not. I’m not sure why the Army insists on making you all look like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. I’m sure you’ll still look cute even with short hair! I don’t think I can say the same for Santi, but you didn’t hear that from me… hehehe 

I just moved into my dorm yesterday! My roommate seems pretty nice. Her name is Jessica and she’s from Georgia. She claims that she’s neat and she better be, or I may lose my mind. I’ll send you pictures of my dorm once it’s all set up! It’s kind of a mess right now, but I made sure to put the picture of us from prom up on my desk :)

I don’t start class until next Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll meet some new people in my dorm or on the soccer team so I’m not a total loser with no friends. LOL. 

Have you met anyone new yet? I can’t wait to hear all about your new Army friends! I already started a countdown calendar until we can see each other again. Only 70 days until basic training is done and I can hear about everything in person! 

I miss you a lot. I know that’s dumb to say because it’s only been a week, but still. I wish I would have kissed you again before you got on the plane to leave. I promise I will when I see you. Nothing says perfect place to kiss like South Missouri, romance capital of the USA (haha). 

I know you’re gonna be busy, but write me back when you have time. The return address on the envelope is my dorm address, so use that, or risk Doug and Michelle reading your mail if you send it to my house!!! I can’t wait to hear from you. Miss you, weirdo. 

From, 

Kenz :) <3

His luck of the draw sends a wave of relief through him, smiling down at the curvy loops of your perfectly neat printing signed at the bottom of the page. It makes his heart skip a beat, the same kind of butterflies coming to life in his stomach as they did the first time he read it. He’s earned his money back and then some. He gets how casinos never go broke, because the high of good fortune is enough to have him reaching back into the box to put another gamble on the line. 

October 13th, 2009

Frankie, 

I always feel dumb sending multiple letters before I hear back from you, but you know me, I love to worry. I know you can’t tell me where you are right now (stupid military and their secrets for the safety of society lol) but I’ve been seeing stuff on the news and it makes me scared for you. I just hope wherever you are, you’re safe. 

My dad’s cancer is back. He’s been in the hospital for almost two weeks now. They found a new mass on his liver, but they said hopefully they can target it with radiation before it starts to spread. Cassandra at the front desk asked how you were when I was at the hospital yesterday. I said that you were good. I think she’s only asking because if you’re not there, there’s no one to keep me from burning a hole in the waiting room carpet. 

I wish you were here. I feel really lost right now. I just know if you were here, you’d find a way to make everything better. You always do. 

Sorry this letter isn’t longer. I haven’t been sleeping that great and don’t have enough brainpower to write something decent. Just wanted to let you know what’s going on.  

Counting down the days until you make good on your promise. I hope you come home soon, Frankie. 

Kenzie 

He curses himself for an unlucky draw, heart sinking at the tear stains smearing the blue ink of your trembling letters. An overwhelming wave of guilt washes over him, vivid memories of reading your notes in his bunk alone, wishing there was a way he could fly halfway around the world for a night just to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay. 

It’s the addictive itch in the back of his brain that makes him decide to pull one more letter from the box, taking one last gamble to see if he can prove the nagging pit in his stomach to quit while he’s ahead, wrong. 

February 4th, 2011

Hey, 

If you don’t want to write anymore, that’s fine. I was trying to be friendly, but clearly you don’t really care. Just let me know and I’ll stop bombarding you with mail you obviously don’t want. Or I guess you not responding is letting me know. If you want to send anything back you can send it to my parents house. I’m moving into Liam’s house and it’s only 20 minutes away so I can just drive there and pick it up. No need to send you a new address you probably aren’t going to write to, anyways. 

I guess I’ll see you when I see you. 

MacKenzie 

And that’s how Vegas will always stay in business. 

Because now Frankie is forced to walk away, all his money stolen from him at the stupid risk he’s decided to take. The one letter he’d give anything not to read again is the one he had to pull. 

Heat seethes in his chest- he can’t quite explain why. Because he lost at a rigged game he’d set up for himself? That he still hasn’t quite come to terms with the ugly truth of what he put the both of you through? That he wishes with everything in him, he could go back and change what he’s done? 

Or maybe, it’s because now might be the last chance he has to fix what he’s broken, and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to live with himself if he can’t.

He leaves the pile in the basement unfinished, shoes barely tied to his feet before he bursts out the door in a sprint.

He's not sure where he's going. He's not even sure how long he's run for. All he knows is the pounding of his feet against the pavement, trying to outrun the stupid decisions of his past.

He tells himself if he runs fast enough, he'll beat them.

If he goes far enough, they'll be forgotten.

If he outraces them, you'll be there waiting for him at the finish line.

@chaotic-iguana @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @raspberrybesitos

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise

@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @vee-bees-blog @itsokbbygrl

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @jolapeno @ovaryacted

@amanitacowboy @mystickittytaco @anoverwhelmingdin @greenwitchfromthewoods

@witchofthedeepwoods @ericamarie093 @readingiskeepingmegoing @whimsiwitchy @whoaitspascal87

@vickie5446 @katw474 @ravenpoe67 @inthedarkestnight @brittmb115

@harryscherrysugar @wonderpillar @sunnytuliptime @pasc4lfuzz @yesjazzywazzylove-blog

@kungfucapslock @vannabanana1995

@javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[daisymbin]

I love your work!!!! Would you mind writing about Vernon with prompts #37 and #39 from the angst list? With a happy ending please❤️

thank you!!! & yes, surely!! 🤍 I hope this gives you some kind of comfort 🥺

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist!

angst prompt #37: "don't walk away from me." +

angst prompt #39: "why are you pushing me away?"

you hated fighting with hansol. it never sat well with you. you would rather bottle up your feelings, try to forget, and go on with the day than let things come to the surface. but tonight had been different. maybe it was the long hours at work, the stress, the underlying tension that neither of you had addressed. whatever it was, it had escalated, and now you were here.

"you never listen to me," hansol snapped, his voice rising. "i've been trying to talk to you about this for weeks."

you could feel the weight of his frustration, but the emotions boiling up inside of you made it impossible to stay. “i’m not doing this, sol,” you muttered, stepping back. “i can’t deal with this right now.”

“don’t walk away from me,” hansol’s voice cracked as he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back. his face was a mix of hurt and anger, eyes wide with frustration. “why are you pushing me away?”

you winced at his words. why? because you were scared. scared of saying the wrong thing, scared of facing the truth. “i’m not pushing you away, i just need some space,” you tried to explain, voice trembling.

“space?” hansol’s grip tightened slightly, though it wasn’t painful. “you always need space. why can't we ever talk things out like adults? why do you always shut me out?”

“i’m not shutting you out, okay?” you raised your voice, feeling the sting of the argument. “i just... i just don’t know how to deal with this!” the words spilled out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted it.

“what do you mean you don’t know how to deal with it?” hansol’s expression faltered, confusion flooding his features. “baby, we’re supposed to be a team, but you keep pushing me away, it hurts.” his voice softened, and you could see the genuine pain in his eyes.

you took a step back, avoiding his gaze. “i can’t handle confrontation, okay? i don’t know how to argue without feeling like i’m failing.” the words felt heavy on your chest, but you couldn’t stop them. “i hate fighting. i just... i just want everything to go back to normal.”

"but it's not normal," hansol said, his voice tight. "you're making it harder for both of us when you don’t talk to me. when you don’t let me in. i can’t keep doing this."

you took another step back, your heart pounding. “i’m sorry,” you whispered, looking at the ground. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i just... i don’t know what to do anymore.”

hansol let out a breath, stepping closer to you. his hand reached for yours, but you pulled away slightly, unsure of how to respond. his voice was soft, full of raw emotion as he repeated, "why are you pushing me away?"

your eyes welled up, and you could feel the lump in your throat. "because i'm scared, hansol. i'm scared that if i open up too much, if i let you in too much, i’ll lose myself. i’ve always been afraid of that." you wiped your eyes, refusing to look at him. "i don’t want to lose you, but i’m scared i’ll mess everything up."

the silence between you both was suffocating. hansol looked at you, eyes filled with concern and something more—something you couldn’t decipher. after a few moments, he stepped forward again, this time more cautiously, gently. “baby," he started, his voice almost a whisper. “i’m not going anywhere. i won’t leave you.”

you shook your head. "but i keep pushing you away. i don’t know how to stop. i don't know how to let you in."

hansol's expression softened, and he took a deep breath, his voice full of sincerity. "you're not alone in this, okay? you don’t have to carry everything on your own. i’m here. i’ve always been here. i just want to help, but you have to let me."

his words hit you like a wave, overwhelming in their kindness. you felt the weight of your fears, of all the walls you had built, slowly start to crumble. your tears started flowing freely, no longer held back by the fear of letting yourself be vulnerable.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, choking on the words. “i don’t know why i do this. i don’t know how to fix it.”

he gently cupped your face, guiding you to meet his gaze. “you don’t have to fix it alone. we’ll fix it together.” his thumb brushed away a stray tear, and you could feel the sincerity in his touch. "you’re not perfect, but neither am i. but we’ll make it work. if you’ll let me.”

you nodded, your chest tight with emotion. “i don’t want to keep pushing you away. i’m just so afraid... i don’t know how to handle all of this.” you took a shaky breath. “but i don’t want to lose you.”

he pulled you into an embrace, holding you tightly, as though afraid you’d disappear if he let go. "you’re not going to lose me. i’m not going anywhere, baby." he whispered into your hair, his voice a soft promise. “we’ll take it slow. no pressure. just... don’t shut me out again, okay?”

you clung to him, finally letting yourself sink into the comfort of his warmth, the reassurance you had been craving all along. “i promise," you murmured against his chest. "i won’t shut you out. i’ll try.”

hansol held you for a long time, neither of you saying anything, just the sound of your breaths filling the space. for the first time in days, everything felt right again. the tension was gone, and all that was left was the quiet comfort of being together.

you were scared. you were always going to be scared. but with hansol, you knew you didn’t have to face that fear alone anymore.

[lush-lavenders]

❀Late Bloomer❀

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: You are late to enter society, but that doesn't mean you don't catch anyone's eye...

Request: Nope

Author’s Note: Sooo I'm really bad about disappearing. But recently I've been binging Bridgerton and been in the mood to write, so here we are!

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None, just fluff here

Buy me a Ko-Fi

!I don’t own this gif!

Dearest Reader,

It has come to my attention that a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N), youngest daughter to Baron Arthur (Y/L/N), is making her debut, mid-season. Not only that, but she is almost one and twenty!

While this author cannot see the future, she can certainly predict it (and I do predict it well) - this season will be nothing if not eventful for Baron (Y/L/N) children.

—

As you stepped into the ballroom, the flutter in your stomach threatened to escape from your mouth. 

Lady Whistledown had come out this morning, and your mother was enthralled by the mere mention of your name. This made her fuss over you all day, needing to make your debut even more ‘perfect.’ 

You tried on three different dresses before the right one was picked out. You had five hairstyles tried out before your mother decided on the very first one. You had spent two hours out in search of the perfect matching earrings and necklace.

You were exhausted by the time you had to get ready, and severely tense as you arrived at Lady Danbury’s ball.

Cassandra, your sister-in-law, squeezed your arm softly. “Take a deep breath. This is just a party.”

You quickly took a breath, sighing it out. “That is easy for you to say. You married my brother in your first season after courting for a week.”

Cassie opened her mouth probably to give you more words of encouragement when your brother butted in. “We cannot stand here and talk all night. You need to present yourself to suitors.”

Before you could even think about protesting, Matthew walked ahead of you with Cassie on his arm, leaving you to trail behind.

—

“That there is Miss Buchan, she’s the only child of Earl Buchan.” The dowager Viscountess Bridgerton was discreetly pointing out young ladies to her two eldest sons, whose attentions would rather be anywhere else.

Benedict was scanning the room for someone he could use to politely excuse himself from his mother’s matchmaking. 

It would be an understatement to say he wasn’t interested in marrying yet. He had just recently started at Art School and wanted nothing more than to enjoy his work as a bachelor.

That’s when he spotted Lady Danbury. Normally he avoided the woman, as she could be as scheming as his mother, but she seemed like his only refuge.

“Excuse me, Mother, but I believe I should give my regards to Lady Danbury for the invite.” Benedict bowed to Violet before quickly heading off in the direction of the hostess. 

He thought about turning away last minute, evading all the prying eyes of those who might want to set him up, but something caught his attention - the once-alone lady of the house was now talking with a young lady. One he had yet to see in the sea of lovely debutantes. 

“Mr. Bridgerton!” Lady Danbury’s distinct voice cleared his mind as he approached. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” She knew better than anyone that the Bridgerton boys tried to avoid her at these balls.

Benedict bowed, offering a smile. “Lady Danbury, I just wanted to compliment your wonderful party.”

Lady Danbury raised her, knowing that there was an ulterior motive. She glanced at where Violet Bridgerton was standing with her eldest, noticing her eyes were following her second child.

She flashed a scheming smile and turned her attention back to the young lady she was with. “Where are my manners? Miss (Y/N), this is Mr. Benedict Bridgerton. Mr. Bridgerton, may I present to you Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N). This is her first ball, so I expect you to be on your best behavior. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go talk to your mother.” 

She gave him a little pat on the shoulder, pushing him towards you as she went to Violet.

You lightly curtseyed as Benedict bowed his head to you. As you stood up straight, you froze, staring into the most beautiful blue eyes. Your heart skipped a beat as you took in the man’s features, stunned that someone such as him could be before you.

“Miss (Y/L/N).” He took your gloved hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing the gentlest kiss one could muster.

“Mr. Bridgerton,” you returned, not knowing what else to say. He had captured any words that might formulate within you.

His grasp lingered on your hand, longer than one might consider proper. It was good that the two of you were sequestered to the back of the ball.

At least you had thought you were hidden away.

A hand and sudden voice from behind told you how wrong you were.

“(Y/N), we have been looking for you. We turned around and you had disappeared.” Cassie let go of her husband to take your arm. “Who might you be talking to?” She asked, hiding the joy she felt for her best friend talking to a very eligible bachelor.

Benedict bowed to her and introduced himself before you could do it. “Benedict Bridgerton, at your service.” He joked lightly, and you bit your lip softly as you smiled.

“Bridgerton,” Matthew said as he bowed his head. “I’ve done quite a bit of business with your brother.”

If it wasn’t for Cassie being between you, you would have elbowed your brother right in the ribs for creating such a boring conversation.

Luckily, Cassie was thinking similarly enough to you. “Now now, my love. I’m sure Mr. Bridgerton does not need to hear about his own brother.”

Benedict chuckled, agreeing with her. “Yes, well, as well not needing to hear from him.” He joked, just as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Well, Brother, maybe I shall take a look at your allowance?” Viscount Bridgerton came up out of the blue.

It seems as though each of your siblings was trying to prevent the two of you from speaking.

And they just kept coming.

Eloise Bridgerton arrived next, in an effort to escape from her mother. “Anthony, Benedict, you really must not leave me alone with Mama.” She sounded sort of breathless as if she had rushed here.

You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling parched. “Pardon me…” You muttered to no one in particular. Matthew and the Viscount seemed to be conversing about business, while Eloise tried to convince Benedict to return to their mother for her.

Cassie silently went along with you, still holding your arm.

You were silent as you made your way to the refreshments table, grabbing the first glass in front of you. You tried to appear as ladylike as possible while you practically gulped down the lemonade.

“I am so sorry for our interruption, (Y/N),” Cassie said after you had finished. “I did not realize you were speaking with a Bridgerton.” 

You shook your head, setting the glass down. “It’s alright. We didn’t really start to converse yet.” Not that you had the chance.

She picked up a glass herself and took a sip, her thoughts lingering. “You seemed… quite enamored with him.”

You scoffed, but not in a way to be rude. “Did you even look at him, Cassie? He’s…” You were at a loss for words as your gaze landed back on the Bridgerton in question. His eyes were wandering, ignoring both of your brothers. They wandered and wandered… until they eventually landed.

On you.

Your eyes met for the second time that night, but this time you quickly looked away, cheeks growing hot. 

That wasn’t before you noticed his perk up and began heading in your direction.

“Cassie, he’s coming over here. What do I do?” You ask in a panic. The only men you’ve ever really talked to were your father and brother, and neither counted towards this.

She put both hands on your shoulders, making you look at her. “Just be yourself.”

That’s the best advice you have, you thought to yourself.

You barely had the time to think up a response when Benedict made it to you, bowing his head again in greeting. “Mrs. and Miss (Y/L/N).”

You both courtesy, Cassie standing up before you. “I believe my husband needs me.” She says before snicking off, leaving you two alone.

“Mr. Bridgerton,” you say after a moment, lifting your eyes to take a look at his features. Features that seem to be drilled into your mind from the beginning of the night. “Has my brother bored you so much you seek me out?” You joke in a self-deprecating manner, knowing you aren’t exactly worthy of his attention.

He smiled at your humor but shook his head. “Our brothers together are an apparent force to be reckoned with, but it is not them that brings me here. It’s you.”

Your breath caught in your chest at those last two words.

He actually wanted to be around you. There is nothing you could’ve hoped for more.

He looked around your surroundings before having you take his arm. “It gets so stuffy in here, does it not? Let us get some fresh air.”

“Just the two of us?” You asked with raised eyebrows. You had never been left, unchaperoned; yet the thought of it, with Benedict… it excited you.

He smiled a crooked but sweet smile. “Only if we leave now, while no one’s watching.”

You smile back, looking around as you follow him quickly into the hall before going out a backdoor into the gardens.

In the first few moments you observed him under the moonlight, your whole future played out. Everything centered around him.

[edwinspaynes]

GHOSTS IN THE SNOW

I spent a lot of the day thinking I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST IF I DO NOT SEE A PAYNELAND SNOW KISS RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, I could not find one to look upon, so I decided to write one. Here you are! You can also read it on Ao3.

Edwin did not like to admit it, but he barely remembered what it meant to feel cold.

Charles did - considering the manner in which he died, it was no surprise. And yet all Edwin could recall was heat, not only from the fires of Hell but also from running, and running, and running. As he strolled along the peaceful nighttime streets of London, Charles's hand in his, he contemplated what it might be like to feel the light snowfall on his face. To have his cheeks wind-whipped and numb, to catch the large, fluffy falling snowflakes in his mouth and taste them.

Edwin did not frequently yearn for life, but in that moment, he felt something like nostalgia for it.

"What're you thinking about, mate?" Charles's voice cut through the still darkness. The world was quiet here, away from London's main roads at three in the morning, but Charles's voice was bold and brave. "You've got that look on your face, the one you get when you're really engrossed in some book or puzzle."

"And what sort of look is that?" Edwin's voice was light.

Charles scrunched up his face and narrowed his eyes rather adorably.

Edwin chuckled. "You are being ridiculous," he admonished. "I have never looked like that. You once told me that my contemplative expression is quite clever; I shall choose to believe that rather than your insulting impression."

Charles smiled slightly. "Are you saying I didn't look clever like that? Well, that's rude, isn't it, when I tried so hard."

"You shall have to make a better effort next time." Edwin waved the hand that was not holding Charles's in the air, and Charles squeezed his hand. They continued to stroll along, and Edwin watched the flurries swirl under the light-posts. Electric lighting had been new back in his day, and it was not nearly as bright as this, so bright as to illuminate the snowfall and -

"Oi," Charles said. "You're doing it again." He did not release Edwin's hand, but brought the other one up to poke him on the shoulder. He poked far too many times, far too quickly. Edwin would not have had Charles any other way. "Come on, Edwin," he continued, "what's going on in that big brain of yours, huh?"

Edwin rolled his eyes and huffed. "I am simply contemplating what it might be like to feel... cold," he said. "I do not remember it."

"Oh." Charles stopped walking, and Edwin with him. His hand went slack, and they pulled apart as Charles continued. "That's... I guess... I don't really remember normal cold either, do I? Just like, the perils of terminal hypothermia or whatever."

"Very uplifting," Edwin murmured, and Charles nudged him.

"But. But." Charles tilted his head at Edwin. "I bet it's, like, the opposite of warm, yeah? Like, when you hold my hand, that's warm. Cold would be... the other thing, yeah?"

"Have you never thought it odd that humans always wish to sort things into arbitrary binaries? As much as I enjoy organized thought processes..."

"Hot/cold doesn't feel that arbitrary," Charles argued.

"I shall have to conduct further study." Edwin steepled his hands before himself, an unconscious habit that he knew made him appear confident.

But Charles grinned again. "I mean, if you want something else warm so you can better understand what its opposite might be..."

"Whatever do you mean?"

Charles reached out. He clasped Edwin's hands in his own, breaking his folded hands apart and squeezing his fingers. Then, still smiling, Charles took a step closer to Edwin and placed his hands on either side of his face. Edwin smiled at the last moment before their lips met, and Charles's mouth was as gentle as the snowflakes blowing lightly through the sky.

And warm. Of course, he was warm.

When Charles pulled away, large, uniquely-shaped snowflakes were stark against his black hair. Edwin wondered whether he was in such a state, too, and whether Charles liked the contrast as much as he did. But he did not have to wonder for long. Charles laughed quietly and reached upward to smooth down Edwin's hair, his expression so woefully fond that Edwin had to fight the urge to look away. "Love you, mate," he said casually, and Edwin could not help but smile.

Edwin's heart melted, but his eyes narrowed. "Wait," he said. "What on Earth did that have to do with our previous conversation? How am I meant to better understand the nature of cold due to that?"

"You're not," Charles said without a hint of shame. "I just made up an excuse to kiss you, didn't I. And it worked."

Edwin pivoted toward Charles. "You are trickier than I gave you credit for," he said, smirking.

"And you love me," Charles said, smiling as he trailed after Edwin.

Edwin reached out behind him, and Charles took his hand. "I suppose I do," Edwin mused.

He did not see the way that Charles smiled down at his boots.

dbda taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed):

@tiredandoptimistic @thevagabondexpress @stormkitty97 @innocentmapleleaf

@honorarypines @tragedy-machine @pisces-swirlix @authoricdemon @many-gay-magpies

@edwardianedwin @babyseraphim @stephen0118 @ingridmatthews

[lovelaetter]

hii ! it's my first time writing & sending an ask so I'm kinda unsure what to say "( – ⌓ – ) but please hear me out on rosie posie ♡♡ quick psa, has a lot of context sorryyy

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ stepcest & kinda dubcon

⠀⸝⸝⸝⠀⠀( stepdaughter!reader × guilty!stepmom!rosé ) rosie feels so bad for seeing her daughter like that—she's supposed to be her mom, she married her father—but she just can't help herself. guilt building up 'n she gets all flustered whenever she sees you because her mind starts swirling and she just can't. you obviously notice because who wouldn't notice someone who's recently moved in ogling at them. oh my. rosie thinks she's being discreet because, once again, she married your dad, she's supposed to be attracted to him. but she swears she can see you staring back at her, stealing glances, but she refuses to give it thought. there's no way her now-daughter is going to reciprocate—that would be immoral.

but she can't help herself anyway, not when she's doing laundry and hopes you don't notice the fact some of your underwear is missing. when they appear again, this time with her own «ysl libré» scent, that's all the confirmation you need.

confronting stepmom!rosé is all a haze, rosie's not sure how she ended up eating you out as an 'apology', all she knows is that it feels so good to finally let go to her wants. you aren't very nice though, pulling on rosé's hair as to guide her and also what could be called a makeshift leash. rosie is sloppy, unsure, too pussy-drunk to actually do anything but loll her tongue out and deliver kitten licks. but that's okay, you have plenty of time to teach her mommy how to please her.

and then rosie can't believe she actually did that—but you can. ever so often teasing rosé by spreading their legs a bit wider than normal whilst they sit across from rosie during dinner. maybe also a bit of increased touchiness, discreet groping that makes rosé squeak and then cover it up with a cough. what else is she supposed to do? she'll have to admit she ate out her stepdaughter to get anything to stop. but she also doesn't mind your teasing, honestly, she loves it. she does get a good reward at the end of the day for being so good and quiet tho. she's so filthy for wanting her stepdaughter, the least she could do is behave for a small prize.

you're constantly reassuring rosie because who wouldn't want a pretty, older girl wrapped around their finger? rosé has never been one to go behind her lover's back, but now she can't help but picture you when she's giving her hubby a blow or when she's getting pounded dumb by your dad. but it's okay, you're still there to dumb her down even more.

⠀⸝⸝⸝⠀⠀she doesn't need to use her pretty head when all she has to do is just take it. maybe bent over the kitchen counter while your dad's at work. she's whining and tearing up because she's just so sensitive and one more finger would break her in half. something against that one spot is so different—so much better—than her husband mindlessly pounding into her. your fingers curl up and it just feels so good for her because it's not just her cervix, it's her spongy insides and swollen clit that are making her cry out in need.

taking her on the living room couch as well, some cheesy series you wanted to watch with her turning into her eating you out. she was a bit dumb to believe you actually wanted to just watch a movie—you're wearing loose clothes and your panties are peaking, you obviously have other intentions. there's even a bottle of lube shamelessly staring from the coffee table. all she can hear is the sounds from the TV turning into white noise as your moans drown out everything out. you're pulling and tugging on her hair, keeping her in place with your thighs, making sure she does well.

(I also have a few thoughts for roles reversed as in stepmom!reader corrupting stepdaughter!rosie (⸝⸝ ˊᗜˋ⸝⸝ ) but I think this is already long enough hahahah)

signed by ☃️

STEPCEST

yes, god, my head HURTS, i have nothing to add to this just yes… yes! if you don’t have a blog, i need you to create one asap and let me know bc !! i kinda want to live inside your mind ngl

and i might be suspicious about stepdaughter!rosie because i love the concept of her x older!reader so much, in my humble opinion she would only be allowed to date older women, so please share your thoughts on that too, i really want to hear them :(

[incorrectfatui]

okay, more HCs. This one is only Scara, so things might get a lil dark- I'm not normal about him. anywho: Scaramouche: -autistic. I am going to say this about every Harbinger, bc it's the truth. -most traumatized mfer in all of Teyvat. Seriously. someone give this guy a licensed therapist. -as Kabukimono, he's tried to eat several non edible items. This one is inspired by that one researcher who made up a story about him eating a humans arm. The image of little Scara munching on various dangerous items is so cute -related to the above: he still does it sometimes, to fuck with people. Dottore thinks its great. Pierro had to stop him from getting Kuni to eat a delusion. -Eyes (& markings) always glow at least slightly, even if he's not using his powers. Its not really noticeable in the day, but at night you can see it pretty well -hates Pantalone. Not bc he's jealous of him hanging out with Dottore or something (if anything, Pantalone gets jealous), but just because he is an ass. -Went to the Abyss again for a long time, just after Arlecchino became a Harbinger, and kind of forgot that Crucy was replaced. Came back and was like "who the FUCK- oh right". Why? because I think its funny -In general, has a better relationship with most of the female Harbingers than the male ones. -a little self indulgent, but I like to think that he was able to float a lil with electro as well. We see Raiden and Ei do it, and I think it'd be cute if he was able to as well, if to a lesser degree. -has used almost every element at some point, testing delusions with Dotty. Mostly bc I can't really imagine all those researchers just throwing 4 extra elements at shouki no kami and being like "figure it out" -speaking of delusions: I think he didn't use one. His electro is inert and I dont think he used another element. I see people headcanoning his delusion as Anemo, and I get it, but I don't like it all that much -SPEAKING of his electro being inert to his body- I refuse to believe he lost electro completely. The whole "oh he used up his divinity" is lazy. He can still connect to Irminsul, which he only learned while ascending, but he cant use electro anymore, something that he's had since birth? Bullshit. I understand him not using it, but I think it'd be more impactful if that was a voluntary choice. I'd really like to see him recover it over the course of the story -I think Youkai like him. Obviously this excludes Yae Miko, but I think as Kabukimono it wouldn't be strange to see him being followed by some Tanuki or the lesser Kitsune. I would really like to see him interact with the Youkai Children from that one Inazuma event, I think it'd be really cute. -I like seeing people write about him and Kujou Sara, both romantic, platonic and as enemies. The two of them are very similar in some aspects, and then radically different in others. I think it'd be really interesting to see Kujou Sara confronted with her own trauma being reflected onto Ei. I guess this is mostly because I just really like Sara and I want my favs to interact xD -more of a theory, but I think Pierro and Dottore, (will) remember him. He has a lot of foreshadowing in his voiceline about Pierro & Dotty, and other things. He's very clearly endgame/lore relevant, with his story not even being finished. -not a HC, but I wanted to mention it: I'm still stuck in Inversion of Genesis on my main account. I never played past it. I did the Fontaine and Natlan quests for friends/watched them online, but I'm still in IoG on my main, because I never fully decided on a name -last one bc character limit: I really like to imagine him interacting with Neuvilette. I think there could be a lot of interesting discussions had here- Neuvi would absolutely dissaprove of his attempt to overthrow Nahida, but at the same time I think he would, to some degree, understand his obsession with the gnosis. No, the gnosis/authority doesn't belong to Scara (or Ei, for that matter), but I think if you told Neuvi that Scara was quite literally created to hold it, he'd understand, to a degree.

[skeletboi]

Super short update because my life is a mess.

But here is part 24 of the Intridimensional Au!

First /// Previous /// Next

__________________________________________

“Impressive as ever.” Ford said as he looked at the robot arm on the work bench.

“Thanks, Stanford.” Fiddleford replied quietly.

Ford watched Fiddleford place his good hand over the arm then glanced up at Fiddleford's face and frowned.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“Lots a’ things are, I reckon.” Fiddleford said with a humorless huff of laughter. “Ya know when I went back home fer Christmas and fergot ta get Emma-May a present?”

“I recall, yes.” Ford responded, his frown deepening.

“She was already purdy darn mad at me before that. I wore baggy sweaters ta try and hide the metal cast on my arm so she wouldn't go worryin’ ‘bout it, but Tate ain't dumb and heard the hum of the components. He asked me about it, ‘cuz he's at that age where they ask a million questions, and I told him it was a metal cast. ‘Course he's an imaginative kid so he immediately started calling it a robit arm. He ran ta Emma-May ta tell her, and I thought she was ‘bout to murder me on the spot.” Fiddleford paused and picked up the arm. “He'd love this, but Emma-May would hate it.”

“I love it, if that makes you feel any better.” Ford said, placing a hand on Fiddleford's back.

“It does.” Fiddleford said with another quiet laugh. “But I can't stop thinkin’ about that. Emma-May knew how I felt ‘bout you in college, and we got in a purdy big fight ‘bout it before I came ta Gravity Falls. I love Emma-May, but our parents both loved the idea of us bein’ together more than we did. I think maybe we were more like best friends than spouses, but I promised her I'd be back ‘cause, above all else, we jus’ wanted Tate ta have a normal childhood.” Fiddleford set the arm back down and choked on a laugh that sounded suspiciously more like a sob. “‘Spose I'll jus’ hafta live with the fact that he won't. I don’ know if he'll ‘member me at all.”

“Fidds…” Ford said softly, unsure of what else to say with his own guilt and regret tearing at his chest.

“If I knew it was gonna turn out this way I prolly woulda jus’ said screw it and kissed ya as soon as ya opened the door to yer damn creepy cabin in the woods.”

Ford cracked a smile at that, but Fiddleford still looked a thousand miles away as he stared down at the arm.

“You would have stopped me.” Ford said after a moment.

Fiddleford glanced over at him in question.

“You say you would have kissed me right then, but I know you, and, if you had known this was the outcome, you would have left.” Ford clarified.

“Maybe.” Fiddleford responded thoughtfully, “But maybe not. Maybe I’m too scared in every timeline.”

“Fuck that.” Stan said, coming up behind them and dropping the last box at their feet. “I saw your face when Ford mentioned fighting back against Bill. That wasn't fear. That was determination.”

Fiddleford smiled sadly over his shoulder at Stanley.

“I thought you'd grow out of being so cheesy.” Ford deadpanned.

“Nope!” Stan replied with a smile. “But if you two are done being nauseating, we have some boxes to go through. I found a box of brown meat! It says it expires in 1993, but who the fuck knows what year it is in this dimension. My plan is to eat it now, ask questions later!”

“I believe you meant ‘die of food poisoning later’.” Ford noted.

“Or die of starvation! Might as well eat mystery food and die the fun way!” Stan laughed.

“Dysentery don't sound fun.” Fiddleford replied.

“Whatever, nerds.” Stan said, motioning to the boxes. “Just grab what you want so we can get on with life. I found a shot gun, too. You're welcome.”

Fiddleford laughed but did as he was told and put aside his arm project to start rummaging through the boxes.

___________________________________________

Sorry non-Fiddauthor fans. I needed Fiddauthor.

I originally wasn't going to write this bit in, but I wanted to give some context to the guilt they're both still feeling and the relationship between Emma-May and Fidds. Emma-May is bi in this universe, but prefers woman. Is that a cop-out to make myself feel better about how much Fidds hurt her? Yes, yes it is. But I am doing it anyway because I do what I fucking want.

I have another art piece nearly done, so I'll probably post it tomorrow. For now, enjoy. Or whatever.

[dinsbeskar]

*HIGH PITCHED DOLPHIN NOISES*

I LOVE THIS!!!! you write him so well, like the manipulation and his true feelings bleed together in a way that we can see, even he can see, but there is ambiguity in them that makes it so delicious to read

But it was not the Queen Regent that made his eyes widen and his heart skip a beat. It was a simple woman standing next to her – (Y/N).

Skip a beat!!! I'm choosing to believe it's a silly lil crush heartbeat skip, and not a "ffs I thought you were dead" heartbeat skip 😂😂

Sauron was defeated. He just had to hug her back because what kind of husband would he be if he pushed her away in a moment like that? 

He just had to!!! God what a trial 😂

“I thought I'd lost you, love…” he muttered to her and she took a step back to take a better look at his scratched cheeks and dry lips as she cupped his face gently.

FUCK THIS WOULD WORK ON ME

I'm so mad like he's deceiving everyone so hard but this would work on me 😂😂

And yet, some part of him, buried deep inside, was somehow glad to see the young woman again; safe and alive.

😏 yes he was!!! YES HE WAS 👏👏👏

“Oi!” (Y/N) shouted at her, visibly upset with Galadriel's words. “I ain't leavin' here! Speak for yerself, Elf. Me an' my husband, we'll stay right here!” She protested and Sauron only watched with a hint of a smirk but he wanted very much to burst into laughter. It was truly priceless to see Galadriel's face being taken aback by Halbrand's wife and her way of being.

I YELLED

Like he's trying to get Galadriel on side but also his "wife" is hilarious and the idea of him being torn between the two is just so delicious

“And how are we meant to pay for it, huh?” Sauron leaned on the wall with his arms crossed, tan muscles flexing under his brand new tunic that had been given to him back in the palace.

:)))))))

Muscles. Flexing.

:)))))))

I have no words, I'm moving on

“It's alright, love, we'll manage. Don't you worry,” Sauron assured her and kissed the palm of her hand as she cracked a smile at him.

Fuck's sake, I love a palm kiss 🙌🙌🙌 and the reassurance??? Like the softness is killing me, he's deceiving her but it's so soft 🤦‍♀️ kill me now

“She's nobody. Just a random woman who showed up and burdened me with her presence,” Sauron answered and (Y/N) seemed to be very pleased with that answer, although it was quite funny to watch because he had just described her.

HAHAHAHAHA I YELLED

"Just some annoying rando" 😂😂😂 "no babe I'm not talking about you"

It was the very first night they were left alone, without anyone being around in the same tent or the same deck. Their own little house in a beautiful realm across the sea. (Y/N) laid on Sauron's chest with a smile and played with the hair on his chest as she brushed it with her fingers and twisted the curls gently.

Oh god this image???? Has me so soft???? So tender????? And the chest hair!!!! Sauron's chest hair reigns supreme again (no I cannot be normal about it)

(Y/N) lifted herself up and leaned in to place a kiss upon his lips – a lingering one that was slowly growing more needy and passionate. Sauron panicked deep inside. He was certainly not signing up for this.

OH MY GOD

Like how far undercover does he go, does he sleep with this random woman, just to keep her on side??? Yes of course, he's committed to the bit, but is it just for the mission??? Bro let yourself enjoy it!!

“What is it, Hal? It's been weeks since we've been close, an' ye're always so eager. Do ye not desire me anymore?” She looked away. “Is it because of that Elf? Has she bewitched ye?”

“Don't be foolish,” Sauron rolled his eyes but it only made her huff and he realised he just had to make love to her on that night.

“Come 'ere,” Sauron pulled her closer and rolled her on her back as he hovered above her and her frown turned into a giggle. 

"Had to make love to her" oh no oh dear what a shame 😂

Something about her laughter at that moment was truly heartwarming. It was innocent, nearly childish, as if she suddenly had no worries and nothing but love for her husband filled her whole body. Sauron froze for a while and just stared at her face as his heart squeezed deep inside his chest. What was that odd feeling he was starting to develop?

I fucking love this 😂😂😂 "what is this?? A feeling??? Absolutely not!!"

He did not want it… He did not…

Shut up, yes you do 😂😂😂

“I am so glad you are here with me, love; that the tides did not take you away from me,” he confessed, trying to convince himself it was only Halbrand trying to woo his wife, nothing else – nothing more.

Yes of course, just keeping up the act, definitely just acting, went from contemplating murder to sleeping with her, totally normal behaviour 😂

“Nothin' could ever keep me from ye, Hal,” she batted her eyelashes at him before he joined their lips together.

HE

He joined their lips together

LOVE THIS 🙌 like yeah sure he's just acting maybe but also he did that!!!

The worst thing was, though, that she would not be so eager to play along to his lie that he was planning to feed Lady Galadriel with. It was interfering with his plans and as his anger grew, he wished (Y/N) to die once more.

Bruh. Bruuuuuuuh

But then she laid her wet eyes upon him again as she sniffled and his heart softened despite his own will.

Ahhh there we go lmfao, man is secretly soft and I love it (soft!sauron is my fave and I don't even care that it's a teeny bit ooc)

“My husband's lands, ye say, Elf?” (Y/N) burst out in laughter. “Please, ye've no idea what ye're speakin' of. That man comes from nothin' an' has nothin'. The only bit of land we had was from me ol' man, an' that's gone now, taken by the Orcs. Even that pendant he's wearin' isn't his. It was Diarmid's.”

RUINING HIS PLANS, ONE BIG MOUTH AT A TIME

Lmfao I died 😂😂😂

If any of the women looked at his eyes now, they would realise he is no mortal man and surely not a good spirit.

Lmfao he's so fucking funny, "don't be suspicious don't be suspicious don't be suspicious"

“Haven't heard of that lad, who's he?” She asked and Sauron clenched his jaw to force the laughter to stay in the back of his throat.

Calling Sauron "that lad" in front of him, absolutely hilarious, comedy gold, I cannot stop laughing

Sauron felt the sudden urge to defend her like she had unwillingly defended him only a moment ago.

Ohhh the train is pulling in, next stop Down Bad Station

Sauron wrapped his hands around the iron bars of his cell as he wanted to call out after her as Halbrand probably would but then he realised… It would only be for the better if she decided to stay here and finally leave him alone to his schemes.

nO we can't have that, like yes absolutely she'd be better off without him for sure, but ummmmm we're in this now for better or worse 😂

Lily, this was absolutely hilarious, i died multiple times, but it was also so sweet and emotional, I love where it's going!!! 💜💜💜

— SOMEPLACE BETTER (II)

PART ONE

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!human!Reader

SUMMARY — Sauron reunites with Halbrand's wife in Númenor where she keeps interfering with his plans and schemes nearly all the time.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — So, obviously, the Reader did not die in the last part and here we are with the part two! 💕 She can't be too easy to get rid of! 🤣 Sauron is a bit ooc here (and surely will be at the end of this fic), so be warned! 🤧

WORD COUNT — 3,630

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

SOMEPLACE BETTER (II)

Sauron certainly considered (Y/N), the wife of Halbrand to be dead now and he did not really bother himself with thinking much of her. Especially now, with Lady Galadriel by his side as if the Valar themselves put her there for him to make sure his plan would work.

When he entered the palace in Númenor barefoot, in ragged clothes and with the Elf by his side, of course they drew attention. Everyone turned around with the beautiful Queen Regent amongst them – he recognised her immediately because there was only one woman inside that room dressed so splendidly and he had overheard the guards earlier mentioning some Queen Regent being present. That stunning woman just had to be her.

But it was not the Queen Regent that made his eyes widen and his heart skip a beat. It was a simple woman standing next to her – (Y/N).

She looked different now. Her hair was brushed and clean as ever and she was wearing a brand new dress, which was simple but probably the fanciest thing she had ever worn either way. It was dark green and her cheeks were painted slightly with a rogue.

Sauron had to admit that in this certain light and when she was not wearing rags, she looked quite… pretty.

“Halbrand, ye bastard! Thought I'd lost ye again!” She exclaimed, making wide eyes and now everyone looked at her as Sauron gritted his teeth.

That woman seemed to be indestructible and she would ruin all of his schemes.

“Your Highness, this here's my husband I've spoken of – the one I lost at sea!” (Y/N) looked at the Queen Regent and the Queen nodded at her with a soft smile.

After that gesture, Halbrand's wife ran up to him but not without giving Galadriel a dirty look on the way.

“I turn me back for but a moment, an' ye've gone an' found yerself a fine Elven lady. Truly, ye're unbelievable!” (Y/N) exclaimed and pushed his chest slightly but not without a loving smile. Then, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

Sauron was defeated. He just had to hug her back because what kind of husband would he be if he pushed her away in a moment like that? 

“I thought I'd lost you, love…” he muttered to her and she took a step back to take a better look at his scratched cheeks and dry lips as she cupped his face gently.

“Me an' a few others, we were the lucky ones. A ship from here found us an' took us in,” (Y/N) explained. “Folks here are so kind, Hal. They looked after us, even gave me new clothes. An' Her Highness herself wanted words with me, to know more about me! Me – simple, foolish (Y/N)!” She shook her head as she seemed to be in awe with everything around her. “Ye were right. A good life awaits us here,” she added and caressed his chest.

“You're neither simple nor foolish to me,” Sauron whispered, reassuringly. He was trying to show softness in his eyes despite his frustration and anger.

And yet, some part of him, buried deep inside, was somehow glad to see the young woman again; safe and alive.

Galadriel kept watching them curiously with the corner of her eye.

“Have you greeted your husband now, (Y/N)?” The Queen Regent asked and (Y/N) turned around to face her as she nodded, nervously. The Queen Regent was not mean or rude but a simple woman like Halbrand's wife was extremely intimidated by her presence anyway.

“Aye, Your Highness,” (Y/N) answered.

“He might want to enlighten us then what an Elf is doing by his side,” Queen Regent laid her scolding eyes on Sauron.

“I'd like to know about that as well, Your Highness,” (Y/N) shot another dirty glance at Galadriel.

“Circumstances arose that–” Sauron started, trying to pose as a simple man who pretended to speak in a more fancy manner to impress the nobles.

“We are companions by chance. Met on the open sea,” Galadriel interrupted him. “Your captain here, delivered us from certain death. All we ask is that Númenor continue his mercy and grant us ship's passage to Middle-earth.”

“Oi!” (Y/N) shouted at her, visibly upset with Galadriel's words. “I ain't leavin' here! Speak for yerself, Elf. Me an' my husband, we'll stay right here!” She protested and Sauron only watched with a hint of a smirk but he wanted very much to burst into laughter. It was truly priceless to see Galadriel's face being taken aback by Halbrand's wife and her way of being. “I've settled matters with the good Queen already!” (Y/N) added. “She's promised me a place to live,” she looked at her husband to let him know, too.

“That sounds generous and reasonable,” he nodded and Galadriel shot him a deadly glance.

Sauron and (Y/N) were taken to their new place by the guards – a poor house located in the city centre near the taverns and the harbour. Sauron could immediately see that the house had belonged to simple commoners before but the standards were still more than enough for (Y/N). She was in awe as she looked around and her eyes sparkled at the sight.

“This place is truly a paradise,” she told him with a grin.

“And how are we meant to pay for it, huh?” Sauron leaned on the wall with his arms crossed, tan muscles flexing under his brand new tunic that had been given to him back in the palace.

“The good Queen's promised it'll be free of charge for half a year,” (Y/N) informed him. “I'm sure ye can find work by then, Hal. In a city like this, they must have need of plenty of smiths!” She approached him cheerfully and threw her hands around his neck before leaning in to peck his lips. “Are ye not happy, love?” She asked.

Sauron couldn't stop thinking of Lady Galadriel, though. Would she try to find him now and convince him to come back to Middle-earth as the King of The Southlands? He certainly hoped so.

And he hoped that Halbrand's wife would not ruin his plans either. Therefore, he had to be nice to her now, so she would lie for him later when he'd ask her to.

“I am,” he nodded and fixed a reckless hair strand on her head. “I'll ask around for work. And what about you?”

At his words, (Y/N) looked down nervously and Sauron raised an eyebrow at her.

“I fear I won't be of much use here, love,” she admitted, truly ashamed, which he could see in her glistening eyes when she glanced up. “I don't reckon they've need for a simple woman like me 'round here. But I'll try, I promise, Hal. I'll do me best to find work. I won't leave ye to it alone,” she cupped his face and sniffed her tears back.

“It's alright, love, we'll manage. Don't you worry,” Sauron assured her and kissed the palm of her hand as she cracked a smile at him.

They stood in silence like that for a short moment, which was quite lovely until (Y/N) decided to break the blissful peacefulness again because she simply could not be silent for too long.

“An' what's the business with that she-Elf, then?” She asked and Sauron sighed.

“She's nobody. Just a random woman who showed up and burdened me with her presence,” Sauron answered and (Y/N) seemed to be very pleased with that answer, although it was quite funny to watch because he had just described her.

It was the very first night they were left alone, without anyone being around in the same tent or the same deck. Their own little house in a beautiful realm across the sea. (Y/N) laid on Sauron's chest with a smile and played with the hair on his chest as she brushed it with her fingers and twisted the curls gently.

“Hal,” she looked up and he glanced down at her, lazily. “My love, can ye promise me ye'll stay away from the taverns? Or at least be reasonable with it? This is meant to be a new life for us. A fresh start, ye said yerself. When the good Queen asked me about ye, I only spoke well of ye. I wanted ye to begin here with no bad reputation, an' please, let's keep it that way,” she pleaded.

“I promise,” Sauron whispered and brushed her cheek with his fingertip. It was so easy to give false promises. Nearly too easy. 

And she wanted to believe him, desperately.

(Y/N) lifted herself up and leaned in to place a kiss upon his lips – a lingering one that was slowly growing more needy and passionate. Sauron panicked deep inside. He was certainly not signing up for this.

Halbrand's wife could sense his sudden nervousness and she moved away, feeling embarrassed.

“What is it, Hal? It's been weeks since we've been close, an' ye're always so eager. Do ye not desire me anymore?” She looked away. “Is it because of that Elf? Has she bewitched ye?”

“Don't be foolish,” Sauron rolled his eyes but it only made her huff and he realised he just had to make love to her on that night.

Not that desires of the flesh were foreign to him but it had been centuries when he had a proper body for the last time. He was still not fully used to his new form and she was… Far from his usual type.

Although in the dim light of a candle that danced upon the wall of their new home, with her skin and hair clean as ever and a pretty new nightgown in a cream colour, he surely felt some attraction to Halbrand's wife and he could even understand the man for marrying her despite her big mouth and other annoying qualities.

Her devotion to him was undoubted, though.

“Come 'ere,” Sauron pulled her closer and rolled her on her back as he hovered above her and her frown turned into a giggle. 

Something about her laughter at that moment was truly heartwarming. It was innocent, nearly childish, as if she suddenly had no worries and nothing but love for her husband filled her whole body. Sauron froze for a while and just stared at her face as his heart squeezed deep inside his chest. What was that odd feeling he was starting to develop?

He did not want it… He did not…

“I am so glad you are here with me, love; that the tides did not take you away from me,” he confessed, trying to convince himself it was only Halbrand trying to woo his wife, nothing else – nothing more.

“Nothin' could ever keep me from ye, Hal,” she batted her eyelashes at him before he joined their lips together.

Sauron was leaning on the wall inside the jail cell he was kept inside and when he heard the steps approaching him, he could sense (Y/N) rushing to him as he smirked to himself.

“What happened?!” She ran up to the bars and wrapped her hands around the iron. “Hal…!” She sighed at the sight of his freshly bruised face when he turned around. “Ye promised me... an' here I am, after bein' told me husband's in prison for startin' a pub fight!”

“I was trying to find work but learned that you need to earn a guild crest to forge steel here, so I figured I'd find friends instead,” Sauron stood up and shrugged his arms as he approached the bars, too. “And it wasn't a pub fight, it was a street fight.”

(Y/N) shook her head as she chuckled lovingly although her eyes remained scolding.

“Ye'll never change, love,” she said. “How fares the friend hunting?” She asked teasingly and Sauron rolled his eyes.

“How fares the work hunting?” Sauron asked, playfully, expecting her to admit her own failure but she surprised him instead.

“I got meself a job, Hal, actually. Nothin' grand, but it's enough for me,” she cracked a smile.

“What is it?”

“I'm gonna help the ladies sellin' their goods at the market by the harbour. It's close to home an' all that. They couldn't give me a proper stand, since I can't read nor write, but I'll help. An' one of the ladies was kind enough to offer to teach me the letters!” (Y/N) shared the news, excitedly.

“I'm proud of you, love,” Sauron leaned in and wrapped his hands around hers. She gave him a big, loving smile.

“Ye're gonna get that guild crest, Hal. I believe in ye,” she assured him.

“I already did but they took it back,” he rolled his eyes and she sighed.

“Ye stole it?” The muscles of her jaw clenched. “It was supposed to be a fresh start! Ye can't be walkin' around doin' that! What's next? Ye gonna ask me to help ye steal again? Expect me to lie to cover yer mischief? I'm done with that, Halbrand!” Her eyes welled with tears as she took a step back from the bars and shook her head.

Sauron was taken aback by her words. He had no idea of this sort of history between Halbrand and his wife. She was even more hurt by him than he had been expecting and their marriage was even more complicated. 

The worst thing was, though, that she would not be so eager to play along to his lie that he was planning to feed Lady Galadriel with. It was interfering with his plans and as his anger grew, he wished (Y/N) to die once more.

But then she laid her wet eyes upon him again as she sniffled and his heart softened despite his own will.

“I know how much you want this whole thing to work out. I want that, too. I didn't want to disappoint you by coming back home and telling you I didn't get anything,” Sauron confessed.

“Ye disappointed me by endin' up here,” Halbrand's wife insisted.

And while he was thinking of another reply, they were interrupted by Lady Galadriel walking inside the prison as well. Sauron couldn't help a satisfied smirk forming on his face. She took his bait.

“Halbrand,” she addressed him as she stood next to his wife but keeping her distance from the both of them.

She looked ethereal in her long golden hair and that pretty blue dress as she radiated nothing but pure light. It made Halbrand's wife visibly uneasy to stand next to her as she fixed her hair in a nervous manner and glanced at the Elf with pure jealousy in her eyes.

“What're ye doin' here?” She nearly barked at Galadriel and Sauron chuckled.

“Your husband does not belong on this island,” Lady Galadriel decided to ignore the woman's behaviour as she gently informed.

“An' who are ye to say where my husband belongs or not? I'm his wife, I've known him a lifetime. You've known him two days,” (Y/N) furrowed her brows.

“Then you surely do realise that Halbrand here is more than he claims,” Galadriel lifted her chin up and (Y/N) looked at her as if the Elf was crazy. “I found this in the Hall of Lore,” Galadriel handed her a scroll of paper.

(Y/N) took it but her hand trembled slightly as she did so and Sauron knew why – she was ashamed to admit she could not read in case it was some document.

But it was not. It was a drawing of the same heraldry as Sauron was wearing on his pendant stolen from Diarmid. He kept glancing at it and watching (Y/N)'s face carefully. He hadn't told her yet about his plan because he hadn't expected Galadriel to work so fast. Would Halbrand's wife play along, though?

Surely, a woman so simple and low would want to be the Queen of The Southlands, would she not?

“What's this?” She asked. “Why're ye showin' it to me?” She handed the scroll back to Galadriel and the confused Elf pointed at Sauron's pendant.

“Is it not the same heraldry your husband is wearing?” Galadriel inquired. “Many ages ago, a man bearing that mark united the scattered tribes of The Southlands under one banner. The very banner that might unite them again today against the evil that now seeks to claim their lands,” she tilted her head with a smile and Sauron's heart skipped a beat because it was all working out so perfect but… Halbrand's wife did not seem to be convinced. “Your husband's lands,” Galadriel added.

“My husband's lands, ye say, Elf?” (Y/N) burst out in laughter. “Please, ye've no idea what ye're speakin' of. That man comes from nothin' an' has nothin'. The only bit of land we had was from me ol' man, an' that's gone now, taken by the Orcs. Even that pendant he's wearin' isn't his. It was Diarmid's.”

“Diarmid's?” Galadriel furrowed her brows as Sauron gritted his teeth.

“An old man from a village nearby. We travelled with him an' became friends. My husband's always had a taste for shiny, pretty things, so I reckon he took it off the body of that poor man from that shipwreck,” (Y/N) gave Sauron a scolding look and he looked away because his eyes were growing dark out of anger and frustration.

If any of the women looked at his eyes now, they would realise he is no mortal man and surely not a good spirit.

“Even if that heraldry is not his…” Galadriel sighed, defeated. However, Sauron could hear desperation in her voice.

Such a sweet obsession to make sure her own scheme would work out – he knew that feeling. And he was glad because it meant that she would help him still despite the odds.

“Even if that heraldry is not his,” she repeated, “how many people do know the truth? I might know him for two days, (Y/N), but I can see him for who he is and he is way more than a ragged commoner. He risked his own life to save mine–”

“Ye did?!” (Y/N) gasped as she laid her eyes on her husband but Sauron looked up to avoid her gaze.

“The Southlands need to be united against evil,” Galadriel insisted.

“Ye wish to deceive folk an' set a crown on a commoner's head, all to fight the Orcs?” (Y/N) was surprised to hear such words. “An' they say the Elves are so noble…”

“Not just the Orcs,” Galadriel answered harshly, slowly losing patience with Halbrand's wife. “There is an evil much darker and much worse hiding in the shadows.”

“Like what, then?” (Y/N) asked with an innocence that nearly made Sauron laugh.

“Sauron,” Lady Galadriel spoke his name and he felt a shiver going down his spine. With a corner of his eye, he observed his wife but she did not seem to be startled or even moved.

“Haven't heard of that lad, who's he?” She asked and Sauron clenched his jaw to force the laughter to stay in the back of his throat.

“The Dark Lord!” Galadriel's eyes widened. “Morgoth's loyal follower. Have you heard of Morgoth?”

“Aye, I have,” (Y/N) admitted with a shrug, “but 'twas a long time ago, wasn't it?”

“Such great evil is beyond mortality,” Galadriel tried to explain. “I have reasons to believe that Sauron is not truly dead.”

“And why should I care about that?” (Y/N) was confused. “I don't even know him, an' it's not like he's ever hurt me or me family.”

“He hurt many others!” Galadriel protested.

“A long time ago,” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“I am no longer wondering why people of The Southlands followed Morgoth. You are such ignorant and vile creatures!” Galadriel spat out. Her sudden anger and cruel words made (Y/N) take a slight step back as she looked down, feeling humiliated.

Sauron felt the sudden urge to defend her like she had unwillingly defended him only a moment ago.

“Not very noble of you, Elf, to say such things,” he pointed out. “You should know better than anyone that it is not on us how we perceive those things. Your kin rewarded a few tribes with your gifts and punished others. Their descendants are still paying the price for the sins of the past. We are not used to worrying about the Dark Lords or the shadows when we simply have nothing to put onto our plates.”

Galadriel blushed slightly at his words and she looked at (Y/N) with remorse but Halbrand's wife kept her glistening eyes on him only, grateful for defending her. 

“Come with me to Middle-earth,” Galadriel started to convince once more, “and together we will redeem both our bloodlines.”

“How?” Sauron asked her. “You're stuck on this island and you're still short an army.”

“That is all about to change,” Galadriel convinced him and then smiled at him before turning her head around to smile at Halbrand's wife, too.

And then she walked away to leave them alone again but Sauron could feel the switch of the atmosphere.

“Ye can't be serious, Hal,” (Y/N) whispered. “We were supposed to start a new life here, start a family. I don't want to go back to Middle-earth. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. If that's the path ye choose, I cannot follow ye…” Her lower lip trembled as she gathered her skirts and hurried out of the prison with tears pricking her eyes.

Sauron wrapped his hands around the iron bars of his cell as he wanted to call out after her as Halbrand probably would but then he realised… It would only be for the better if she decided to stay here and finally leave him alone to his schemes.

MASTERLIST

[thefirstlioveyou]

My interpretation of lonnie and will's (+ jonathan's) relationship from what we get from the show:

Lonnie is a neglectful and manipulative father above all, this is what the show tells us. He is a terrible father and person.

Lonnie wants to fix Will and change him. He forces him to play baseball and get into things he doesn't like to make sure he grows up to be a "real man." Joyce knows Lonnie believes he's a queer, a fag. There is no indication that he said it to Will's face, HOWEVER this doesn't make it any less worse. Lonnie still has homophobic opinions about his own son and is trying to "fix" him.

Then we get to the Jonathan and Will scene. Jonathan is trying to distract Will from their parents fighting. When Jonathan brings up Lonnie, Will just seems... Indifferent about him. He doesn't tense up or begin to show fear. He literally asks Jonathan "he isn't coming, is he?" with disappointment. In Billy's childhood memory playing baseball with his father, he literally tells him to leave him alone and runs away. (the parallels are indeed there, but are there to show different situations. billy fears his father because his father is explicitly cruel to him. will is clueless to his father's behavior because his father's cruel intentions are communicated differently through manipulation and control.)

He's indifferent because Will is manipulated by the false hope Lonnie may be giving him. Lonnie does this to Jonathan as well but he sees through it. He knows Lonnie already.

Will is holding onto hope Lonnie may show up more as a father. He wants more time with him. But what he doesn't know is the time Lonnie spends with him, he's actively trying to change him. Will goes with whatever he says because he's young and that's the type of person Will is. He doesn't stand up for himself and goes with whatever is being presented to him.

Jonathan points this out.

He makes Will aware of what Lonnie is actually trying to do. He's making it clear Lonnie isn't trying to be a father to him and spend time with him, he's trying to fix him and make him 'normal.'

Based on Will's body language and choice of words when talking about Lonnie, it seems to me he knows a different Lonnie than Jonathan does. Lonnie would pretend to be someone else to him and mask his true intentions.

Are there implications of physical abuse?

In a way? To me, Lonnie was physically aggressive in a playful but controlling way. In his eyes, it's playing. But he gets to choose when they play with no regard for what Jonathan wants. Lonnie masks it as playful behavior when in reality it's him wanting control and power over someone else. It still hurts Jonathan though. I don't know what to classify this as exactly, but it's wrong It's about the fact there is no consent.

Another example of Lonnie wanting control: Lonnie forces Jonathan to kill an animal with a gun, traumatizing him for a good while, in attempt to make him more of a man. Lonnie gets Will to play baseball to make him more of a man. There is a huge difference obviously, and it could do with their age. Lonnie has a more subtle approach with Will than Jonathan. Will could've eventually been in Jonathan's position if Lonnie had stayed.

From what we are given, between the two siblings, Jonathan was the one that got more shit from Lonnie. It possibly has to do with age and their personalities clashing. Jonathan protected Will from it and made sure Will learnt to not listen to Lonnie at an earlier age than he did.

About the trunk: In my honest opinion, looking back at it, he could have been looking for bags. The more I think about it, it'd just ODD to open a scene with implication he was kidnapped and stuck in the trunk, and not even touch on it and leave it there. Just speaking from a writing perspective. That's a VERY heavy subject to bring in just like that and to treat it like whatever. It's weird to just CASUALLY imply he kidnapped his son like nothing, but the writers want us to actually know Lonnie forces Will to play baseball above anything else. And then just never imply anything else similar to kidnap ever again. It feels off and inconsistent. So I can't fully see the interpretation that Jonathan was looking for Will's body in his trunk. I get why some could come to that conclusion but there's just not enough evidence to support that he would do that.

To me it seems more logical that he believed Will was staying there, especially with the scene between the two. Jonathan sees Will is indifferent to Lonnie. He knows Will's easily manipulated. He plays baseball because that's what Lonnie wants, he'd probably stay at Lonnie's for the same reason.

Will shows no indication of physical abuse unless we're talking about the trauma he has from the UD and possession. Outside of that, he shows more signs he was emotionally abused. This is something we know. We know he's experienced bullying and possibly knows what Lonnie thinks of him, because we know Will can tell when someone think he's different. He's internalized it. The bullying, the UD, and the way people think of him -- it all made him feel like one big mistake.

There are indications of **physical** abuse in other characters in the show and they are quite in your face. From the top of my head, you've got Billy's aggressive behavior, El taking her clothes off in front of the boys, her trauma response from being hid in Mike's closet.

ST and TFS does not hesitate to show us physical abuse on children. They will show us what we need to know. We aren't shown that with Lonnie. The show emphasizes his neglect and need to control/take.

Our first introduction to Lonnie is through Joyce. This is important. They have to tell us exactly what we need to know about Lonnie with little words. And from her description, he sounds like a deadbeat of a homophobic father who is critical over his children. Joyce even says he has nothing to do with it. It doesn't cross her mind that Lonnie could play a role in Will's disappearance because he is an absent father. I think she would have a different mindset if Lonnie was this vicious physical abuser. But no. She sees him as a deadbeat, because that's what he is

When Joyce tells Lonnie to leave after figuring out Lonnie was just there for the money, she goes on a rant on how he was never there. That's what she chooses to bring up. That's what the writers want to emphasize over anything else. His absence. His controlling behavior. His lying and manipulation. This is what makes Lonnie a bad father.

Lonnie is very manipulative, controlling and neglectful. I don't think physically abusive fits in the most. This show in particular will tell you when a father is very physically abusive and bring that to light through several instances (ex: billy's dad). They will show signs a child was physical abused.

Will still struggled in his home. It was a broken home. He wasn't accepted by his father, whether Lonnie made it clear or Will could just tell. His parents fought. Lonnie was never there for him or rarely was. He was abandoned by him. But I do not think Will is fearful of him. I don't think Lonnie is to Will is how Neil is to Billy (Which doesn't make him any less of a bad father! Just different). He's indifferent because Lonnie (from what we can infer) presented himself in a certain/different way to him. Jonathan shows more distaste and anger towards Lonnie because he knows his real intentions.

Now, S5 can obviously introduce something. I bet there is more to Lonnie and the Byers. But this is just how I see it based on everything we're given. Please do not attack me. I am not a fucking Lonnie stan. This is just an analysis.

[yumeurl]

harry, draco, and sectumsempra

this is just to write my own interpretation about the scene and what it meant for me before i start another 596765 thread on my twitter gmemgfdg

i know sectumsempra is like, The Drarry Fodder in the book that's already drarry fodder overall; it is to me as well, though taking off my fudan glasses halfway i see it as a symbolism more than anything else

harry and draco have a funny dynamic throughout books 1-5. they regard each other as 'archenemies' according to harry, yet their fights mostly consist of taunts, quidditch or normal wizard duelling. it's rare to see them actually physically harming each other, and in the rare instances that they do, it's ron and hermione who did it (the first year fight and hermione's slap), or if it's harry, it's because draco went too far with his goading and he was at the angriest point of his life.

only one of these did draco actually try to fight back, and it was with ron. throughout the books he has shown to be aversive of physical fights and pain in general, even neville(who was regarded as a loser for so long) trying to attack him he cowers behind his bodyguards.

i think this is one of the few things that enabled him to regret being a DE tbh. while crabbe and goyle never became a fullfledged death eaters, they support voldemort and have this naivety that makes them think casting killing spells or torturing people is just like playing with a toy. draco does not, atleast when reaching this point.

anyways, so draco is typically aversive to fights that truly harm a wizard, and harry does the same thing, atleast to draco. both of them don't really harm each other. all of their spells are fixable, no matter if the reader finds them mean or too much. and in the instances where they go too far (this is mostly draco tbf), they back off and go back to the status quo.

this is schoolyard fighting to them, even in ootp, when voldemort has came back, draco's taunts and motivation doesn't stem from serving him, it's from getting back at Potter. it's their thing, it's constant. both of them know that subconsciously

but sectumsempra is symbolism of this dynamic ending, end of an era if you will. they Can't return to schoolyard fighting, try as they might. draco has to follow voldemort or risk him or his family killed, while harry has to follow dumbledore and kill vodemort.

harry, in his 'finding out what malfoy is up to' thing, operates as if it's a little mystery to solve. it's not That serious at this point. while he had suspicions that whatever draco is doing is DE related, i don't think he knows the true severity of it. why would he? malfoy is a constant, they've duelled many times before and they don't truly hurt each other. alot of the DE damage is outside of hogwarts as well, hogwarts is safe and untouchable.

sectumsempra marks the end of that. not only draco attacks first in a hostile manner, but their spells escalate as it goes on:

Levicorpus -Harry Blocking spell for Levicorpus -Draco unnamed spell that caused the bin behind harry to explode -Draco Leg-Locker Curse -Harry Crucio (incomplete) -Draco Sectumsempra -Harry

(i still think it's highly unlikely that harry heard crucio and retaliates with sectumsempra like what people believe. he didn't even know that the spell would do to fight back with it... but that's for another post)

in just one fight, draco tried to torture harry (regardless if it would've worked or not), harry harmed draco with an unknown dark spell that he doesn't know the counter to, and harry basically finds out that whatever draco's doing where he gloated all about it at the beginning of the year is something that's giving him distress. enough to cry and talk to moaning myrtle of all people

it's different from their constant. malfoy shouldn't cry and he should retain his same spoiled brat personality. harry shouldn't dabble in the dark arts especially when he doesn't really know what it does. it rattled him so much (plus losing all the things he was fixated on this school year all at once, not just finding out what draco's up to) it's enough to make harry stop with his investigation and start a love life gmrgmfdgf

i'm also interested at how harry thinks about draco at the end of the book

He despised Malfoy still for his infatuation with the Dark Arts, but now the tiniest drop of pity mingled with his dislike.

you dislike draco for his 'infatuation with the dark arts'?? not calling your friends insults and slurs?? gmeogmfdg and the word dislike too... but you can tell when he truly hates a person, like snape or even mclaggen. for draco it's just constant to butt heads with him, maybe even fun. voldemort's insistence of killing harry makes harry's childhood and innocence slowly get taken away, even the presumed constant of fighting draco malfoy won't remain constant forever

[loadedberetta]

5 Minute break // Ghost x Reader (fem no body desc)

cw mentions of smoking, guns and shooting

You planted your back against the tall brick wall just below the sign that proclaimed this very spot as a smoking area. A tall tree hung over the top of the wall, shading the whole parking lot. It filtered out most noises of the city, making the inner courtyard a cosy little space. From the other three sides, a tall, glassy apartment building encased the little asphalted eden. Smoke almost always rose from the spot you stood at, as all the people working in the multi-storey office building came down to have a break. As you did too. But the people close to you in the office knew you didn't smoke, and stopped offering you cigs long ago.

"You wan' one?" A new voice asked from moderately far away, as you just finished guessing the daily word in the game on your phone. As you registered someone coming closer to you, you looked up. He was a Brit, comfortably in his 40s. If you wouldn't have been an expert in men his age, you would have easily taken him to be a bit younger.

The thick but carefully trimmed locks of dirty blonde hair suited him, sometimes even falling towards his forehead, covering some of the gathering wrinkles below them. His browbone directed your gaze down to his eyes, brown pools of mature coyness. If dark chocolate, coffee, and brown leather had a lovechild, it would be that colour. His nose bent in a sharp line, that set a commanding effect to every small movement with his head, you imagined. Disappearing below a cloth mask that was pulled up to cover his ears halfway too, hid an angular and sharp face; that was all you could figure out before he pulled down the mask. His mouth angled downwards, pink lips contrasting the scars littered across his face, one particular one tearing into the supple flesh of his upper lip.

You noticed yourself staring when he disrupted the line of his mouth with the white, slim body of a cigarette. It stuck to his mouth as he spoke:

"Hey, I asked d'you wan' one? You look like you need it."

Shaking your head a little, you looked up embarrassed, to meet his inquisitive eyes. As soon as you saw he read your gaze, his crow's feet deepened, and he nudged your limp hand beside you with the box.

"Take one."

You finally found your voice again. Or so you thought. The words came out breathy and cracked.

"I don't smoke, thank--" You coughed into your elbow a few times, thanks to the small amount of saliva that you inhaled when trying to clear your throat. So much for first impressions. He didn't bat an eye, but his hands did stop mid-air.

"No, it's fine, light it." You told him after clearing your throat one last time. He lowered his hand, however.

"I'm fine actually. I'm… trying to quit."

Looking up at him with sorry eyes, you flashed a weak smile at him, not knowing what to say. He pulled out the box again and put the white stick away. You had just noticed how he was wearing all black. Boots, trousers, and shirt. All black. Something still showed through it all. A concealed bulletproof vest was comfortably hugging his frame. And to top it all off, the belt you mistakenly took for a utility belt until now, holstered a standard issue pistol, some cuffs, and other accessories of a security officer.

"…head security officer."

Dumbfounded yet again by him in the last two minutes, you looked up at him, meeting his eyes that harboured a strange darkness in them, as if they could tell a thousand stories.

"I'm the new head security officer. Simon Riley."

Finally coming to your senses, you managed to answer without swallowing saliva into your lungs. In the next moment, you had to realize though, that you have in fact swallowed nothing into your lungs. It felt as if he created the air unbreathable around you but in a good way. When you realized you were supposed to tell him what you were doing at the complex, his hand was already out to shake yours. You barely managed to blurt your own name back. He practiced it once, and a small smile settled on his face as he pronounced it back correctly.

"I'm… the sales director at John Rigby on…"

"…the third floor. I know."

Ah, he probably knows it from…

"…the safety briefings. I had to learn the place from the inside out, including all the people who work here. It's sort of… compulsory." For the safety company. A gun manufacturer's sales office is a bit conspicuous and would stand out for every trained eye. Just like his, as they were surely trained on you. From the first moment, he was surveying you. Breaking you down to sheer components, and putting you back together, without as much as saying a word. And you could deal with him, picking you apart. You wanted to remain composed and divert his attention from your features, so you commented snarkily on his appearance:

"Why have you got a safety vest then, and I don't?" You crossed your arms, coercing your delicate breasts upwards, forcing him to choose between talking while looking into your eyes or talking and staring at your tits. He chose the obvious third way, and darted his eyes with painful precision across your body, raking in every last drop of the sight.

"Because bodies like yours don't get shot at." When the compound higher-ups hired this new company, you had high expectations. Optically, they were in the clear so far, and you filed away that for later.

"And what if they do?"

"Then we did our job fucking poorly." He said with a hint of swagger, yet still sounding responsible and capable. After all, he was your new security officer.

After a moment of silence, you decided your break was up. If you spent any moment more out here, you were sure your clothes would have melted off of you, you were so hot. Despite the sun not being able to reach you through the high concrete walls around the spot, you felt hotter than ever, a damp patch growing in your panties with each passing moment prompting you to leave urgently.

For now... As you knew you hadn't seen the last of him yet.

my first long-ish work in a hot minute, I'm very insecure about it. have at it I have more thoughts on security guard Ghost. not betad by a long shot; it might contain some mistakes for which I apologize, this was like a year-old piece I renod

[katboykirby]

Okay 🤷

I'm coming from the standpoint of someone who has both worked in the mobile game industry on the writing/game development side of things, and also as someone who personally knows and regularly speaks to staff at Solmare. All I'm doing is offering the perspective that comes with having that experience.

You personally seeing lots of posts about a particular topic, because it's a popular point of discussion in your circle, does not mean that the topic is popular or widely discussed outside of your circle. I'm not saying that no one is having these discussions, but I absolutely promise you that it's not as many people as you seem to think. And like, that's fine? Not sure why that's even an issue or anything, but okay?

Again, "this is badly written" is completely subjective. Your personal opinion on a piece of media is obviously fine, but it's not in any way universal or objective. To be honest, it's kind of a weird choice to even bring up because (in addition to it's subjectivity) it's simply not all that related to the original point that was being discussed? This specific post is about people being upset over optional monetization in the game, not about story quality. That's absolutely a conversation that can happen, but it's not the point of THIS post?

I don't know where I've been defending Solmare? In my original post I literally outlined multiple points of feedback and criticism, and examples of what I think they could have done differently and what they can still stand to improve. I also link directly to the contact page for their Support Team specifically so people can easily send their own feedback.

Ultimately, my main point was this: the new feature isn't perfect and Solmare could have done several things differently that would have improved the rollout and made people happier. BUT, it's also not the atrocious garbage fire that people are treating it as. There's harassment and abuse being sent to the official OM accounts, multiple people are saying that "everyone should boycott Solmare" and just overreacting in general. Which is a lot of drama over what is, essentially, a pretty standard and inoffensive item bundle being added to the shop.

The new feature is very normal for live service mobage (especially gacha) and "optional paid bonus content" is EXTREMELY common in this genre of games. In-app purchases for goodies and extra fluff exist in basically every gacha game ever, and OM isn't doing anything different. Obviously it's totally okay to not like it! And if you don't like it, you can just totally ignore it. It doesn't impact the game either way.

You're paying $30 and getting a long Devilgram story, a character phone call, exclusive premium artwork, and a stack of 300 DP on top. That's all. It's not mandatory, it doesn't lock any actual game progression or Main Story behind a paywall. It's just a totally optional goodie bag in the shop that you can completely ignore if you don't want to buy it. It's more than fair to criticise the pricing scheme, but some players are acting like the gave devs personally hacked into their bank accounts and stole their life savings.

Anyway, I'm probably not gonna keep replying like this because this post has gotten ridiculously long, lol. You're more than welcome to DM me if you wanna keep discussing stuff, but I might just disable reblogs because I wasn't expecting this post to get so much attention.

Going to play Devil's Advocate (ha) here for a moment, as someone who has experience working in the industry & game development:

Remember, every single time that any new feature is added to the game (even if that new feature is "just a new artwork and phone call") it means that Solmare is -

Paying artists for the new artwork

Paying writers for the new scripts

Paying the voice actors to record the new voice lines

Paying the game devs, coders, debuggers, etc, to actually implement the new feature into the game without breaking anything

Paying for QA

Paying the translators for all the different language versions (Obey Me is currently available in 4 different languages)

Paying the localisers for all different language versions

Etc, etc

This is all on top of the monthly costs of keeping a live service mobage like OM running smoothly. Anything that isn't paid for by the players is being operated at a loss. This isn't a flaw with OM itself, this is a fact that exists on an industry-wide level.

Secondly, while any concerns about the price are entirely valid, I think that a lot of people are glossing over an important point - Solmare is not charging you $30 for a Date Ticket. Solmare is charging $30 for a BUNDLE, which includes the Date Ticket as well as 300 DP. So this is similar to all the other sales bundles that have been rolled out in the past.

And the price is consistent with the standard price for DP in Akuzon. It has always been about $30 for 300 DP, so the price has not actually changed or been increased. This is an optional, $30 bundle for 300 DP that essentially includes the Date Ticket as a bonus for free.

You're totally justified if you don't want to spend $30 on this. I'm definitely not arguing that. While I think that this feature isn't as bad as some people are saying (I never would have expected any new features to be totally free) I do think that Solmare could have rolled this out in a better way than they did.

I think that most, if not all, of the complaints would disappear if they simply offered different bundles for different price tiers. This is something they've already done in the past, even! Just give people alternatives, like...

$1.39 for the Date Ticket by itself

$10 for 100 DP + Date Ticket

$20 for 200 DP + Date Ticket

$30 for 300 DP + Date Ticket

And so on. I think this probably would have alleviated many people's concerns, and would have made the new feature more accessible for more players.

Now, I don't think that harassing the official Twitter account is the way to go about communicating your thoughts. There's a difference between genuine constructive criticism/feedback given in good faith, and needlessly rude hate comments. "Fuck you, hope your game goes broke" doesn't help anybody, and will only make Solmare less likely to listen to the EN fandom. They've dealt with a lot of harassment from Western fans before, including death threats, and you aren't communicating anything useful or constructive by sending hate to the EN social media account.

Solmare has a Support team that you can email, if you have feedback and you actually want to reach the JP game devs. If you want to let them know that you want other/more affordable options for the new Date Ticket feature, this is the best way to do that. Just remember to be civil, since harassment and hate mail are extremely likely to simply be thrown out before it reaches the hands of anyone in charge.

[14dayswithyou]

Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol

⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^

"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.

You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!

Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!

"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.