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#I don't know. I guess it's just odd and I'll never know why that is that way!
eyesoftxmorrow · 9 days
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i wish i could love in a way that matters
#ignore me its 4 am and i scared myself awake LOL#idk nightly rambling w a side of sleepy brain fog im gonma delete this later i think#i've been thinking a lot ab my aromanticism and how. idk. i keep running into my own mental resistance to it#ik theres prob a lot of internalized bs there i gotta work out on my own terms but like#ig i feel almost. disappointed? in knowing that's who i am#no disappointed isn't the right word. im not disappointed in my sexuality and i certainly don't hate the fact that im aspec#in fact i feel More secure in knowing why i feel the way i do about relationships#but at the same time i wish. that wasn't just it for me?#i think what im trying to say is i feel like im missing a huge part of. the human experience i guess. in knowing i don't feel romantic love#i don't understand it. i never have. and it feels almost restricting to me in a way#theres just this whole facet of human relationships that i'll just never be able to fully explore#whether that's in my creative works or in my own life#and that. almost makes me sad#don't get me wrong the love i Do feel and am surrounded by every day is so so fulfilling to me. i love my friends+family more than anything#but ig in knowing im aro i feel almost. shut out from the possibility of exploring a truly deep and nuanced connection with another person#bc every relationship i Have had like that before never once felt like i was truly myself. like i was putting on an act and miming what i#Thought you were supposed to do in those kinds of relationships#i just feel like what i Want and who i Am are fundamentally at odds w one another#and i guess i just have to. learn to accept that.#idk#im going back to sleep#skip speaks
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I haven't even listened to anything after Peace in Our Time by Big Country yet but I need Driving to Damascus, for one thing because in every interview I've listened to/watched with Tony Butler after Stuart's death he mentions that he was excited about the album (and the direction Big Country were headed in with it), and I trust Tony's judgment so I really want to hear it, but for another because I saw the album art and they all look married. 😅
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Oh, and bonus is this adorable photo:
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(Sorry the photo is so small - I cannot find a larger one at all) If I had to guess what's happening here I'd say Mark was the butt of the joke; why else would Tony be motion blurred? LOL
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iluvmattsbeard · 5 months
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so high school (m.s)
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master list
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: nothing but fluff
preview: Matt and his friends were seniors in high school, they decided to play a game of kiss, marry, kill in class. when it was Matt’s turn, his friend adds you in the mix. he never quite noticed you before and when he did, he was intrigued. you were two opposites. he ended up passing notes to you in class. you never expected the outcome from all of this.
a/n: this is a long one but, I loved writing it. I saw someone on here ask to write a fic based off so high school. which, I attempted to do! this is my take of how I pictured it in my head. I forgot who it was who posted about it but if you’re the person, here’s my version!
it was almost the end of the school day, Matt was sat down at a table full of his friends. it was technically a free period since testing was held today. "let's play a game." his close friend Nate suggests. "what kind of game?" Chris asks curiously. "kiss marry kill." Nate responds with a grin. it caught Matt's attention, speaking up, "that's a childish game." the group laughs before Nate speaks up again, "well we have nothing better to do." the group looks at Matt, "what do you say? you in?" Nate adds on. "I guess i'll participate." Matt says fixing his posture. "okay who will start?" Nick joins in.
after a few rounds, the boys were laughing from the answers that had passed. it was finally Matt's turn, Chris ended up giving him the options, "okay let's see..." he says looking around the class, "Chloe, Madison, and..." he continues looking and lands his eyes on a girl resting her head on her palm as she read a book, "her I guess." Chris adds on. Matt looks at the girl and tilts his head a bit, "what's her name?" he asks.
"I think it's Y/n." Nick responds looking at you. you lift your head a bit from the sound of your name being said, "Nick, you're too loud." Chris whispers. you just ignored it and continued to read the book in front of you. Matt starts to play the game as he chose you to kill, "I only put her in that spot because I don't know her." he explains. the bell rings and everyone started to get up, including you. you shut your book and placed it in your back pack. Matt got up taking glances at you. you were wearing a white cardigan with jeans. your hair was half way up and half way down. you zipped up your back pack and put it on one of your shoulders only.
before you walk out, you catch a glimpse of Matt's gaze and you smile a bit at him, which he does back, then you walk out. Matt then picked up his back pack and put it on heading out as well. he walked to his car with his brothers and got in buckling up. "you guys don't know anything else about that Y/n girl?" Matt asks causing Nick to raise an eyebrow, "no, why?" he questions while Chris looks at Matt curious as well. "nothing I was just wondering. I thought I knew everyone in that class." he says starting the car. "she just keeps to herself that's why. no one wants to bother her I guess." Nick says. Matt just nods and drives out from the school parking lot.
the next day, your eyes were focused on your computer as you did the assignment for today. Matt was still curious about you, from yesterday's small smiles at each other, he wanted to take the opportunity to get to know you. he took out his notebook and a pencil as he started to write. after he was done, he ripped it out from the notebook and folded it. "hey." he says tapping the girl in front of him, "can you pass it to her?" Matt says looking at you. the girl he asked was behind you. she nods and takes the note, tapping your shoulder. you turn around and look at the folded paper. "it's from Matt." she whispers using her thumb to point behind her. you take the note and turn back around to open it.
'hey, I know you don't know me but, I also don't know you so, I was wondering if you wanted to get to know each other? I found it odd that I know everyone else in here except for you.' - Matt
you smile a bit from the note and pick up your pencil writing back. you handed it back to the girl and she passed it back to Matt.
'hi i'm Y/n. that's really out of the blue but, sure. i'd like to get to know you. also, yeah I get that a lot.' - Y/n
Matt smiles and writes back explaining how he even found out about you. you guys were passing notes the whole class which, the girl in between you ended up switching seats with Matt so he could pass the notes himself.
'so I was apart of your kiss marry kill?' - Y/n
'yeah but don't worry, my choice for you was not personal.' - Matt
you giggle softly to yourself. the bell ended up ringing and you guys left it off at that. you packed your stuff and turned around to give him the same soft smile from yesterday before walking out. for the rest of the day, Matt could not stop thinking about you. "what's on your mind?" Nick asks him. "oh nothing." Matt responds smiling. Chris and Nick just look at each other in a weird way.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
the weekend was finally over and Matt couldn't already wait to get to his last class. when the time comes, he was about to sit down behind you but the teacher stops him. "Matt." Mrs. Dean speaks up causing the boy to stop in his tracks and turn around, "yes?" he asks. "we need to talk about your grade in this class. I heard you aren't doing so well in other classes as well?" she says pulling up his grades. you couldn't help but have the conversation catch your attention as you unzipped your back pack. "Matt, you have to raise these grades or else you'll be suspended from the lacrosse game in a month." the teacher says making Matt's eyes widen, "what? how could I raise my grades that quickly?" he asks. "I don't know Matt but it's possible. you have to really put in the work." she says. Matt just sighs and nods, going to sit at his desk. as time goes by, you turn around and place a note in front of him which makes him look at you and smile a bit.
'I can help you raise your grades if you'd like.' - Y/n
he smiles even more reading it. he immediately writes back taking you on the offer.
'if it's not too much of a hassle, i'd gladly accept your help.' - Matt
'well I did come up with the idea so, it wont be a hassle.' - Y/n
'can I get your number?' - Matt
you ended up writing down your phone number and he thanks you in his actual voice. he started to realize, he hasn't heard your voice, so when you spoke up to say 'you're welcome', he felt his heart start to race a bit. your voice was soft and comforting in a way. even though you only said two words to him.
the next day, you and Matt meet up at one of the picnic tables in the courtyard. "hey." Matt says with a smile walking up to sit in front of you. you smile back, "hi Matt." you greet him. "I'm going to warn you right now, I have a bunch of missing assignments." he says opening his back pack. you let out a soft laugh, "that's fine. you have a month to get it all done. plus, you have extra hands to help you." you reassure him. he smiles and nods, "thank you again." he says pulling out the pile of papers he had inside his back pack. your eyes widen a bit and laugh a bit, "don't thank me yet. we haven't started." you respond while looking at the stack. you both laugh at the same time.
you two have been tackling his missing work for a few days now until one day, he tells you something, "Y/n?" you look up at him and respond, "yes?" "I still want to get to know you better." he says making you look at him with a smile, "well..." you start off, putting your pencil down, "what do you want to know?" he puts down his pencil as well before he speaks, "just tell me stuff that makes you, well you." you laugh a bit before nodding, "well I barely moved to Massachusetts the beginning of senior year, i'm an only child, I enjoy reading in my free time, and let's see..." you pause for a bit. Matt was just sitting there, very drawn to you as you speak. "I don't really know what else I could say." you say with a soft laugh. Matt joins in laughing before he speaks, "I guess I just have to spend more time with you to get more from you." you smile nervously and look away, "well, let's focus on getting this work done." Matt adds on which you agree to.
since you began to help Matt, his friends have been wondering why he's been distant. he was constantly with you and he never told his friends about you. as you guys sat there, his group of friends walk over and tease him, "what is this?" Nate asks with a foolish smile. Matt rolls his eyes and looks at the group, "what are you guys doing here?" he asks. "the question is, what are you doing here? with..." Nate looks at you, "Y/n right?" Nate asks. you nod in silence feeling awkward, "Y/n is helping me complete my missing assignments so I could raise my grades. if I don't raise them, I won't be able to play the lacrosse game coming up." Matt says. Chris widens his eyes, "what? why didn't you tell us?" he asks. "you guys weren't going to be able to help me so Y/n offered." Matt responds looking at you.
"you still could've told us." Nick says before looking at you, "I'm Nick by the way." you smile and greet him back, "nice to meet you." "are you sure you guys are only studying? I mean Matt talks about y-." Chris was cut off by Matt, "okay guys. me and Y/n still have lots to do." the group of boys nod and say their goodbyes, walking away. Matt shakes his head and focuses his eyes on the text book in front of him. you look at him and laugh, "you talk about me?" you ask. he looks up and takes a tiny gulp, "he was just teasing us." Matt tries to cover up from the truth. you just nod, "okay I believe you." you say looking back down with a smile.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
you and Matt were at the usual picnic table at school as you both stood in front of the computer. it's been two weeks since you started to help him. you both stood there waiting for his grades to update. it took a lot of work but, hopefully it was worth it. you and Matt stare at the screen as he clicked refresh one more time. "Y/n!" he says standing up straight. you looked at the screen to see his grades now passing with A's and B's. you turn to look at him and your mouth was open a bit from shock, "you did it Matt!" you exclaim happily. "no, we did it Y/n." he says with a smile hugging you suddenly. your eyes widen a bit but you hugged back slowly, "thank you Y/n." he whispers still embracing you. "you're welcome Matt." you reply as you both pull away. you both stand there now nervously laughing. "let's go show Mrs. Dean." you suggest. the boy nods and you both pack your stuff and walk to her classroom.
the next day, Matt kept bugging you in class with the notes he's been writing.
'Y/n tell me how I can repay you. seriously!' - Matt
'I don't need to be repaid Matt. it was me who offered to help in the first place. i'm just glad I helped you.' - Y/n
'how about I take you to the drive in?' - Matt
your eyes widen a bit from the question. you’ve never been asked to go anywhere especially with a boy. alone. you hover your pencil over the paper as you think about what to say.
‘i’ve never been to the drive in.’ - Y/n
‘well then you’re about to :)’ - Matt
you look back at him and he smiles making you smile as well.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
Y/n’s POV
“dad i’ll be back before 9 pm I promise.” I say putting on small hoop earrings. my dad has never been in this situation before, well neither have I, so this was all new for the both of us. “honey, let her finish getting ready.” my mom joins in with a small laugh. “who even is this boy Y/n?” my dad asks curiously. “he’s just a boy from school that I helped out. now, he said he wants to repay me that’s all.” I say putting on chapstick. “do you like this boy?” my mom asks. “yes.” I say bluntly but realize it came off the other way, “as a friend!” I add on. my mom laughs and nods, “okay sweet heart. I’ll get your dad out of your hair.” she says dragging my dad out the room with her.
I look at myself in the mirror and touch up anything that doesn’t look right. my phone suddenly buzzes. I pick it up to see a text from Matt. it was him letting me know he was outside. I get up and put on my shoes, heading out my bedroom and to the front door until I got stopped by my dad. “hold on Y/n.” he says getting up from the couch. “dad please. I have to go.” I say but he walks up to me and opens the door. he takes a look at Matt through his car window. Matt gets out the car and walks up to the door. “hello sir.” Matt says with a smile. “what’s up kid. where are you taking my daughter?” my dad asks. “i’m just taking her to the drive in. it’s to repay her for helping me play this weekend’s game.” Matt says. “you play a sport?” my dad asks now intrigued.
“I play lacrosse.” Matt says with a soft laugh. “that’s awesome. well, you two enjoy the movie. be safe most importantly.” my dad says patting Matt’s shoulder. “thank you dad. bye.” I say walking to Matt’s car. we both get inside and I look at him, “i’m so sorry about him.” I apologize. he laughs softly and starts the car, “why are you saying sorry? it went great.” he reassures me. “I just didn’t think you guys would meet. I mean, he’s never met anyone else before.” I say. he looks at me, “wait, i’m the first guy he’s ever met?” he asks with a slight shocked expression. “yeah…” I say quietly. “is that a problem?” I add on. he smiles and chuckles, “no! i’m just surprised.” he says as he starts to drive off. “what’s so surprising?” I question keeping my eyes on the road.
“I thought a bunch of guys would’ve taken you out by now.” he says. I stay silent for a bit, what is that supposed to mean? “I don’t talk to guys like that.” I utter. “looks like i’m special.” Matt smiles from his words. I just shake my head playfully, “I guess so.” I laugh a bit.
End of Y/n’s POV
later on, you both were sitting there in the car as the movie played on the big screen. Matt wasn’t paying attention that much because all he could focus on was how nervous he was being right next to you. to be completely honest, he hasn’t taken out a girl before. he only cared about his friends and sports so he didn’t think he would have anytime for a relationship but, he just shook off the thoughts. he was just repaying you right? towards the end of the movie, you notice him glancing at you and you caught his eyes. you both sat there as you stared at each other while the movie played through the radio. Matt started to move his eyes to your lips, making you gulp. you two started to lean in slowly but stopped once you guys heard the car next to you start its engine.
you both move away from each other and laugh nervously. the drive home was painfully awkward. when you got home, you laid in bed and buried your face in your pillow. all you could think about now was, what if you guys kissed?
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
a few days pass, you could not get Matt off your mind. you knew he was the sweetest boy you’ve ever met. you just didn’t know what to do with these feelings. besides that near kiss, nothing else happened after. he did invite you to his lacrosse practice later after school.
‘come on. you can watch me practice and try to understand the game.’ - Matt
you stared at the note and thought about what to say. you had the same hesitation from when he asked you to go to the drive in. you gulp and start to write a response.
‘okay fine. i’ll come.’ - Y/n
the bell rings and he stands up grabbing his stuff, shortly after he grabs your hand walking out the classroom. you follow him as you look at the way your fingers entwined. you felt your cheeks turn pink from the gesture. you soon made it out to the grass field. he lets go of your hand and looks at you, “I got to put on my uniform but look out for number four okay?” he says smiling. you nod and smile back as he walks away.
you make your way up onto the bleachers as you sit down away from some people. when all the boys head out on the field, you immediately spot Matt in his number four jersey. you smile and see him point his stick at you which makes you giggle quietly. “hey Y/n.” you turn to see Nick join right next to you. “hi. you don’t play?” you ask. he shakes his head, “absolutely not. I cried and quit the first time I played.” you both laugh at his words.
as the boys started to practice, Nick started to explain the game to you. you were starting to understand the concept and how points work. by the time they finished, Nick claimed you as a pro. “you learn quickly!” he exclaims with a smile. “well, I did help him study. only fair for me to study the game.” you say laughing.
when you arrived home that day, you couldn’t stop thinking about him still. you sat on your bed as you started to think of ways to support him at the game tomorrow. you had the perfect idea.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
you look at yourself in the school bathroom mirror as you smile. today was the day Matt has been anticipating. he was still thanking you all day that he gets to play today. which you kept repeatedly telling him to stop.
Matt
wish me luck today! I hope to hear you in the stands.
you smile at the text and reply.
Y/n
good luck Matt. also, I don’t know about that.
you head out the bathroom and make your way out to the bleachers. you wanted to be close to the front so Nick saved you a seat. “thank you for giving me one of his jerseys.” you say to Nick. “of course! he’s going to love seeing you in it.” he responds. you and Nick engage in conversation as he tells you child hood stories about the three of them. you two were laughing and getting along. “i’m so glad Matt started talking to you. I feel like none of us wanted to reach out to you because we thought you didn’t want anybody bothering you.” Nick lets out making you laugh softly.
you hear a person through the speakers introduce the team and you instantly switch your attention towards the field. the team runs out onto the field and everybody starts to cheer, including you.
Matt’s POV
when me and my team run out onto the field, I instantly search for Y/n in the stands. when I finally see her, I couldn’t help but notice her shirt. it was my jersey. it looked a little big on her and I laughed to myself. she looked amazing. I pointed my lacrosse stick at her and she just gave thumbs up with a smile. I definitely need to do good for her.
End of Matt’s POV
during the game, you were so focused on Matt that you started to realize how good he was. he was absolutely crushing everyone on the opposite team. it was down to the final countdown. you were at the edge of your seat with Nick as you guys watch Matt with the ball, he starts to run and push past the opponents as he throws the ball straight to the net, making the final goal. everybody stands up and cheer as you and Nick jump up and down. “let’s go Matt!” you yell out. you were so caught up in the moment you didn’t realize you really put yourself out there cheering for him. Matt takes off his helmet and runs towards the stands. you walk down the bleachers as he drops the stick and helmet onto the ground. you embrace him in a hug as he wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up slightly.
“good job Matt!” you exclaim happily. “I couldn’t do it without you.” he says. it made your heart melt but you were also confused, “what do you mean?” you say pulling away smiling. “I was thinking about you the whole time. it was my motivation.” he says smiling. your heart started to beat fast. “Matt… that’s so sweet…” you say. he scratches the back of his neck shyly, “yeah…” he says. it was the same awkward feeling from the car ride home back from the drive in. “let me go change into my actual clothes and i’ll meet up with you in the parking lot okay?” he says. you nod and smile.
later on, you were standing in the parking lot as you waited. he eventually came out from the school building and greets you with a smile. you just stood there still feeling awkward. your feelings for him were growing stronger and you couldn’t take it anymore. “nice jersey by the way.” he says opening his trunk with a smile. “thank you very much.” you smile a bit. you watched him put his equipment in his trunk as he noticed your body language. “is something bothering you?” he asks shutting the trunk.
Y/n’s POV
my heart was racing. how do I tell him how I feel? “Y/n?” he speaks up looking at me with concern. “Matt… I don’t know how to put this into words.” I say quietly. he leans back on the car as he responds, “it’s okay. take your time.” I stand there and look away with a nervous laugh before looking back at him, “well… i’ve been feeling a certain way lately. ever since I met you, I knew there was something different about you. I mean you went out of your way to talk to me when no one else would.” I pause for a moment, I can’t believe i’m doing this, “remember when you said you’re special and I said I guess? well, it’s not I guess. it’s yes, you are special. i’m sorry if this is too much.” I stop myself. “no keep going.” he says with a reassuring smile. I let out a breath, “what i’m trying to say is…” I stop looking at my feet nervously before looking back up at him, “no one’s ever had me… not like you. like today, I didn’t even know I could cheer that loud. when we aren’t together, I constantly think about you and when I lay there, I can’t help but wonder if you feel the same.” I say.
he stands up straight getting off the car. “that’s actually crazy.” he says catching me off guard. “what?” I ask stunned. he laughs nervously before talking, “i’ve been feeling the same way Y/n. like I said earlier, you were my motivation the whole game. when we first started talking, I already felt like my heart was going to beat out my chest. when we went to the drive in, I should’ve just told you then. I was having these thoughts ever since. every day, I look forward to seeing you. that has never happened to me before. I feel the same way Y/n.” he says making me feel much more at ease. “you really mean that?” I ask with a slight smile. “of course I do Y/n.” he says grabbing my hands softly, interlocking them.
End of Y/n’s POV
“so what now Matt?” you ask looking into his eyes. “what do you think?” he asks with a smile. you stayed quiet for a bit before asking him a question, “are you gonna marry kiss or kill me?” he smiles at the familiar question, “for now, I think i’ll go with kiss.” he says pulling you in by your intertwined hands, unlocking them, placing his hands on your face kissing you softly. you place your arms around his neck as you tip toe yourself up to reach him better. he moves his hands down, wrapping his arms around your lower waist as he picks you up slightly, without breaking the kiss. you never would’ve imagined high school being like this. finally finding a boy who you knew you could give yourself to. you both continue to kiss, smiling in between kisses and eventually pulling away. you both had your foreheads touching as you both laughed softly in each other’s arms.
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a/n: sorry if this is so long! likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated.
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ageingfangirl2 · 10 months
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I Want A Divorce! Shanks (OPLA)
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You get ill and Shanks offers to do your jobs around the ship, but he gets distracted easily and wants your praise. You love the man-child, but sometimes you have to tell him to actually like his age. Shanks x Reader FLUFF!
'You have a high fever so I'm going to recommend bed rest until it breaks, can't have you getting any worse,' Hongo states, placing a cold cloth on your forehead which was nice in your current state.
You cough, 'I guess I can take it easy Hongo.'
Over Hongo's shoulder, you notice Shanks watching and listening intently to the doctor's orders, 'I'm going to do all your jobs so you just rest up.'
You and Hongo snicker sharing a moment, both of you knowing Shanks wouldn't be able to cope with all that you did around the ship without complaining. Hongo pats your shoulder as he gets up from the bed. Shanks immediately takes his spot, tucking you in. You were the fourth crew member to join and the only female, and had been charmed into dating the notorious red-haired pirate.
'I love you darling but you don't even know half of what I do around here,' you whisper, throat sore.
Shanks puffs out his chest proudly, 'I'm going to make you proud, I'm going to do so good everyone will be begging me to do your jobs instead.'
You smile as he leans down and kisses the cold cloth.
TWO DAYS LATER
Shanks bursts through the doors of his quarters which you shared and throws himself on the bed next to you burying his face in a pillow. He could be an overdramatic diva at times but he was your diva. Before you can say anything Lucky walks in holding a tray of food that makes your mouth water and forget your partner.
'How are you feeling? Hongo said you should eat more fruit so I made you a fruit salad for after your soup.'
Ignoring Shanks who was now mumbling into the pillow you sit up and accept the tray of food and glass of water, 'You're all too good to me Lucky. How are the new guys?'
Lucky shrugs his shoulders, 'confused and maybe a little scared because they follow your instructions which makes captain grumpy.'
You nod, 'I'll talk to him. Thanks for the update.'
Lucky leaves and closes the door behind him. Shanks rolls onto his side and reaches for the fruit salad but you swat his hand away, 'My fruit salad captain.'
Shanks pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and shooting you his best puppy dog eyes, 'Why didn't you tell me what you did? I wouldn't have agreed otherwise. I love you, but dealing with the new crew is tedious.'
Just wait until he found out all the other odd jobs you did to help out the rest of the crew, there was a reason people called you mother hen. You pop a slice of apple in your mouth and sigh, 'What do you want me to do darling? Give you a pat on the back? Feed you a treat, give you a belly rub and call you a good boy? It's not easy but you never back down from a challenge. I know you'll give it your all until I get better.'
Shanks sits up and stops pouting, a look of determination in his eyes, 'You're right I can do this. I'm going to make you proud.'
You scoff as he steals some grapes and jumps off the bed with a new lease of life, you really did have him wrapped around your little finger.
FOUR DAYS LATER
Your fever had come down and you didn't feel like death anymore, but Hongo insisted you stay in bed for a few more days. The crew had bets on Shanks he didn't know about, he'd gotten better at doing your jobs but wasn't great. You promised to stay in bed so the crew could make some money off your partner.
THREE DAYS LATER
You were sat up in bed reading the newspaper feeling much better and enjoying relaxing for once. Shanks walks in and climbs on top of you, lying on you with his full weight, 'I know your secret babe,' he chuckles, head now resting on your chest, eyes locked with yours but he doesn't look upset.
You put the paper down and start running your fingers through his hair, 'Hongo asked me to stay in bed longer, I actually enjoyed not having as many responsibilities, makes a nice change. I'm sorry for deceiving you, Shanks.'
Shanks nuzzles into your hands more enjoying the massage, 'Now I know how much you do I want you to slow down. I'll try and help more when I can, and the crew promised to fix their own problems before coming to you for help babe.'
'Thank you. However, you lying on top of me is making parts of my body fall asleep.'
Shanks smirks, 'I'll wake them up when I need them.'
You throw your head back and laugh at his playful and flirty antics, 'I want a divorce.'
Shanks matches your laughter, 'I'm never letting you go, you mean too much to me. Maybe a few years after the marriage you can talk about a divorce.'
For all the years the two of you had been together you weren't engaged, everyone assumed you were married and the two of you kind of went with the flow. Little did you know Shanks wasn't joking about marriage this time around.
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38riku · 1 month
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𝐁𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐓.𝟐 ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🎂 ꒱ ˎˊ˗
includes ace and deuce (i was gonna add more but i hate it when i have a lot of drafts) this is part two. you can read part one here
warnings // none.
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𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀
Hey, Prefect, guess what day it is. I'll have you know it isn't an unbirthday—it's MY birthday! Which means I'm the star of the day. Wonder what kinda fun things are in store.
to his surprise the two of you had a similar idea of fun. in hindsight it isn't that much of a shock. you guys are together 24/7! as a group, not one on one like now.
there's really nothing different about it.
sure, it's nice having your undivided attention without a pesky feline hogging it. plus he can actually hear your laugh when he jokes. was it always like that? a funky yet endearing sound? probably.
he's starting to notice things that he should've a long time ago and it makes him feel weird.
you're thoughtful, to the point it makes him wanna gag.
"this place better be good. it's my birthday after all so i'm head honcho!" he exclaimed, taking a seat on the opposite side of the booth you shared.
"cater recommended it. i asked him what place in town had the best burgers and viola." you were too busy looking over the menu to see his face, and thank the seven you were, otherwise, you would've notice him gaping like a fish.
"oh! and they serve cherry pie! you think it's as good as — what's wrong with your face?"
jaw on the floor.
he was positive he only mentioned his favorite foods once or twice, yet, you remembered it.
and for a second time, he brushed off the odd feeling bubbling in his chest.
the last time was hard to ignore. you sprung a gift on him last minute before entering campus. it was, ironically, a deck of cards.
"learn a new trick other than a basic sleight." you joked, nudging him slightly. "oh! and don't let riddle see these. all the aces are an ace of hearts." winking, you bid him one more 'happy birthday' before leaving.
they were just a deck of trick cards. it wasn't anything special.
so why was his heart racing?
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𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐃𝐄
Do you have plans later? Actually, no, I should get straight to the point. We're celebrating my birthday at Heartslabyul today. Would you come to the party?
he did it! he asked you, personally.
it may not seem like a big deal but riddle threatened to off his head if he didn't stop pacing. apparently it's against the rules to have inner turmoil on your birthday.
ace asked him why he was nervous. 'it's the prefect, we hang out all the time!' and yes, why that might be true, deuce had never invited done something like that.
delinquents don't have many friends. let alone birthday parties.
"happy birthday deuce-y!" the nickname ricocheted off the walls as you successfully stole the spotlight. "sorry i'm late but riddle said i had to be properly dressed or whatever."
your rant went in one ear and out the other.
he's never seen you dressed up and wow, you cleaned up nicely.
was it shock? freezing up, cheeks flush, trouble speaking, sweaty palms — his symptoms all align with shock. that has to be it.
"thanks for still showing up." he spoke after regaining basic functions. it didn't last long because you hugged him. arms around torso, face to face, lasting more than three seconds hug.
friends hug all the time. he's shared a similar embrace with ace, albeit riddle forced them to, but this is was not like that.
"course I showed up! fancy clothes wasn't gonna stop me from celebrating one of my best friends." your smile reach ear to ear and he struggled to remember if it was always that bright and pretty.
"we both know you're more tenacious than that."
deuce now understands why he was nervous.
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© 2024 — 38riku. Do not copy or repost or plagiarize my work. All Rights Reserved.
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morganwrites12672 · 23 days
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Alone
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Sam Winchester x Reader
Summary: The bunker is empty except for her and Sam. They take advantage of the alone time.
Word Count: 2.4k
Warning/Tags: 18+ Established relationship. Smut. Unprotected sex (very bad idea). Oral F!Receiving. Fingering F!Receiving.
A/N: Minors dni
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Tonight was a rare occasion. It wasn't very often that she found herself alone with Sam in the bunker. She never had much of any time with Sam completely alone. There was always someone there, or some impending crisis hanging over their heads. Not tonight. Tonight all was calm.
She walked into the bunkers library, looking for Sam. Dean had just went out for the night. She needed to let Sam know. Hopefully he would understand the second meaning to her words.
"Dean just left. He said not to wait up. It's just us, probably all night," She said as she spotted Sam. He was on his laptop, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration. He looked up at her words.
The sight of his girlfriend brought a small smile to his lips. "Where's he go?" Sam asked. Knowing Dean it was most likely the bar.
"He went out for a few drinks," She replied, hoping Sam would notice the opportunity and take advantage of it.
But, instead Sam just nodded. His gaze went back to his laptop. Whatever he was looking at was clearly taking up most of his attention. She wanted nothing more than to go sit down in his lap and distract Sam from his work.
She didn't though. "Did you find a case?" She asked instead.
Sam sighed in response. "Maybe?" He said. He wasn't sure yet. It was a string of odd disappearances. Nothing to suggest that it was Supernatural though. But, also nothing to suggest that it was not something Supernatural. "I'm not sure yet." It was probably something that the authorities would be able to handle.
She leaned up against the doorway, nodding along as he spoke. Of course he would be focused on a case. Sam was like that. All work and no play. She was more like Dean. She made time for her own personal needs instead of researching until she fell asleep.
She walked across the room and sat across from Sam. This caught his attention. She said nothing, picking up a book from the table. Sam went back to his laptop. She tried to touch on the book she had picked up. It was difficult with Sam sitting right in front of her.
She quickly grew restless. She stretched her leg out underneath the table, her foot nudging Sam's calf. Whenever he looked up to question what she was doing, he found her with her nose in a book.
The book was being used to hide her smile. She had a plan. One that should have been obvious to Sam. It had been a while since the two had been able to really enjoy each other's company.
Her foot inched higher up on Sam's leg, eventually coming to rest on his thigh. Sam was no longer reading the words on his laptops screen. He was trying to maintain his composure. Every single time he looked up, expecting to see her watching him with a grin on her face, he found her flipping through the pages of a random lore book she had picked up.
Sam's thoughts couldn't stay on track. His mind kept drifting. She had mentioned that Dean would be gone all night. If he hadn't been so wrapped up in his research he would have realized why she had stuck around. She hadn't just wanted to be in his presence. No, she wanted something else from him.
As her foot went even higher, Sam's hand darted out to grab it. His response made her look up from her book. She fought against the Cheshire grin forming on her face. She fought and lost.
"You didn't have to be so cryptic," Sam said. She set down the book, raising an eyebrow slightly. He let out a sigh. "Don't play coy." He knew exactly what she wanted.
She feigned innocence. "I have no idea wh-"
"Then I guess I'll go back to what I was doing," Sam replied. He dropped her foot and looked back to his laptop. Two could play at that game.
She jumped up from her chair, "No! Sam," She practically whined. She walked around the table and over to his chair. She plopped down in his lap.
Having her sitting in his lap made his breath hitch in his throat. His mind raced with possibilities. He was alone with her. Completely alone. There was no having to keep quiet or worrying about Dean catching them.
"Tell me what you want," He said, more of demanded as his fingers found the waistband of her leggings.
She leaned in closer, "Sam we haven't been alone in weeks."
He chuckled at her reply. Instead of teasing her anymore, he closed the short distance between their lips. She reacted almost instantly, tangling her fingers in his hair. She gave a light tug.
Playing with his hair might be one of her favorite things to do. Sam always keeps it so long. So perfect. She would play with his hair while they laid in bed together. She would run her fingers through the strands almost subconsciously.
Sam let out a low groan into the kiss. The feeling of her fingers in his hair drove him mad with need. One of his hands went to her jaw as their lips moved in tandem. Their bodies were pressed together, every move of her hips made Sam feel his cock hardening. She always did this to him. Her touch made him insatiable.
She whimpered into the kiss, lightly rocking her hips. She wanted more. Sam's free hand moved between her legs, teasing her clothed clit. She let out a small gasp, the warmth in-between her legs only increasing by the second.
The kiss broke so that they could both catch their breath. Sam didn't stop his teasing though. She grinded her hips against his hand, begging for more. She couldn't get the friction that she craved.
"Sammy," She whined. Sam wasted no time at all in standing, picking her up as he did so. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he stood.
He set her down on the table and quickly pulled her leggings down, she lifted her hips to help him. Her black pair of underwear had a damp spot on it from where her wetness had leaked through. Sam dropped to his knees in front of her.
"You're fucking soaked," He murmured as he slid the pair of underwear down her legs. He pressed dozens of open mouthed kisses to her inner thighs. He took his time with her.
He lightly sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin, drawing small moans and whimpers from her lips. Every kiss or mark he leaves only makes her even more needy. He could stay between her thighs for days, drawing pretty noises from her lips.
She couldn't stand the waiting. It feels like torture. Sam's so close to the spot where she wants him the most. It's like punishment almost. Her throbbing cunt was waiting for Sam, begging for him. She needed him.
Without warning, Sam slides his finger through her folds. She whimpered as he slid a finger into her soaked cunt. With how wet she already was, Sam was met with no resistance. His eyes watched the way his finger disappeared into her cunt, the sight making his cock throb.
Sam leaned forward, his mouth placing a kiss to her throbbing clit, making her body let out a small shudder. The anticipation made her antsy. She bucked her hips, desperate for more. His finger slowly curled inside of her, teasingly stretching her out for his cock.
Sam wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked. He began to curl his finger inside of her tight cunt, searching for the spot that would make her scream his name. Her moans had his cock painfully hard in mede seconds. He fought to ignore the sensation and desire as he continued pleasuring her.
"S-Sam," she moaned out. "Fuck!" She cried out as his fingers found the spot inside of her that had her crying out. Her hips twitched. She fought to keep from being so damn loud. Not that it mattered, the bunker was empty except for her and Sam. She could be as loud as she wanted.
His tongue began circling her clit, the sensation sending sparks of pleasure through her body. She bucked her hips forward for more friction. Every swirl of his tongue over her clit made the coil in her stomach tighten. She could already feel her release beginning to creep up on her.
He added another finger to her sopping cunt and began increasing the pace. He could feel the way her cunt fluttered around his fingers, it was obvious that she was getting close. He pulled his fingers out and let out a whine. His mouth also stopped working on drawing those pretty noises from her parted lips. She let eyes flutter shut.
Her eyes snapped open as she was left aching for an orgasm. She was half tempted to move her own fingers to her clit just to get that release that she craved. But, she knew that Sam wouldn't like that much.
Sam leaned forward, towering over her. Her back was pressed against the table. He tapped his fingers, soaked with her arousal, against her lips. She quickly parted them, sucking on his fingers.
She swirled her tongue around his fingers in a teasing manner. She gazed up at him with a sinful look in her eyes. Sam groaned, feeling his cock twitch in his pants. He pulled his fingers out of her mouth and pressed his lips to hers.
He left out a soft moan at the taste of her that lingered on her tongue. The kids was deep and sensual as their lips moved in tandem. Her hand reached down and began unzipping his jeans.
He wasted no time in also continuing to undress her. Her shirt and bra had been haphazardly thrown across the room in seconds. He had practically ripped off his jeans before shoving his boxers down his thighs.
"Fuck," She whispered as she stared at his cock. Sam was fucking huge. It always took her time to adjust to his size, even after he had prepped her with his fingers. He usually gave her an orgasm or two first to help take the edge off. He hadn't been able to wait tonight though. Not that she was complaining.
"I'll go slow sweetheart," He practically cooed at her. A drastic change in his behavior from a few seconds ago whenever he had been pulling her clothes off as fast as he possibly could.
He lined his cock up with her entrance and slowly stretched out her cunt. He groaned as he felt her around his cock. He gave a few languid thrusts before bottoming out. His chest shuddered at the sensation of her wrapped around his cock.
She cried out at the sudden fullness that consumed her body. Sam had barely even began and she was already fucked stupid. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him even deeper. One of her arms went behind her head, to act as a cushion from the hard table.
"F-fuck, doing so good for me." Sam's words were soothing as he began slowly rubbing her clit. He sent shocks of pleasure throughout her body as his fingers toyed with her sensitive bud.
"M-more," She moaned. The slow pace was torture. Even if she appreciated the time to adjust, she needed more. And she wasn't known for her patience. One of her hands rested on Sam's hip.
His free hand began massaging one of her breasts, he pinched her nipples and she cried out. The sensation of pain mixed with pleasure made her cunt flutter around him.
He pulled his cock almost all the way out of her, leaving the top on, before slamming his hips into hers. He let out another groan at the feeling of her. Her cunt was so warm and tight. Every thrust of his hips had him desperate for more.
"Sam!" She moaned out, her thighs quivering.
He squeezed and toyed with her breast, kneading the flesh with his hand. The delicate skin was free from any marks. He leaned forward and sucked on the exposed skin. Her breath hitched in her throat as she felt him leave hickeys and open mouthed kisses across her chest.
"So fucking perfect," He murmured against her skin.
His thrusts never faltered either. Sam was damn good at multitasking. His hips snapped against hers with a punishing pace. She rocked her hips forward to meet his thrusts. Every drag of his hips had her core tightening around him.
He leaned forward even more, one arm wrapping around her back. He pulled her towards him even more, his lips moving against hers. She moaned into the kiss as she felt every single thrust of his hips drag against that spot inside of her that felt like fucking heaven on earth.
The room was filled with the sounds of flesh smacking against flesh and drawn out moans. Every noise that slipped past her lips came out strangled. She was already nearing her orgasm.
He began thrusting his hips faster, his cock abusing her g-spot with every quick thrust. His cock twitched inside of her, he could feel his release. So fucking close.
"F-fuck. I'm almost there," He moaned. He could feel her cunt spasming around him. If that hadn't given away how close she also was to her orgasm, then her breathless moans would have. She was practically screaming his name.
"M-me," she whimpered, "to-" she cried out again. His pace on her clit was relentless. She almost couldn't take it. Almost.
He gave a few more sharp thrusts before he felt her cunt clench around him. She moaned out his name and her body squirmed beneath him. His hips stuttered, he buried his head in her neck as he held her tight. His own orgasm left him breathless. He moved his hand off her clit, hearing her whimpers of overstimulation.
"You did so good for me," He said softly, pulling away to look her at her face. She had a fucked out look of pure bliss plastered on her face. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"I love you," She murmued.
"I love you too," Sam replied. He paused for a moment to finish catching his breath. "Come on, let's get cleaned up."
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A/N: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to reblog or comment!
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sourbinnie · 1 year
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☆ regrets & replacements ☆
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst again yes sir ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> maknaeline!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> did he actually forget? or did someone make him forget? ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
a/n -> here's the maknae line version! and if soohee was bad on the first one, i'm sorry she's even worse on this one.
hyung line
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jisung ✉
he was the most forgetful person you knew, so was it a surprise that he wasn't here? not really. did it sting? of course it did, you wanted to spend the day with your boyfriend and your friends. it looked like you were gonna have a change of plans as you looked at your phone and you also didn't register any messages from jisung. you still had a whole day to hope he remembers so you weren't worried.
but the hours seemed to pass and there was no sign of him returning home. this took you to message minho and ask him where your boyfriend was. he responded saying he locked himself up in the studio and that he thought it was gonna be a surprise for you but he wasn't sure. a tiny bit of hope grew in you as you grabbed your things and headed to the jyp building.
"oh i'm glad you're here! happy birthday (y/n)." minho said as he hugged you and you received the hug as you smiled. you had a really good relationship with your boyfriend's best friend and it transformed quickly into a friendship of it's own. you knew they were preparing for a comeback so bothering them wasn't really what you wanted to do but seeing jisung would light up your day even if it was just a few seconds, just to know when he was coming home. "i don't know what the hell he's being doing there, can't get him out so i'm guessing it has to do with you."
"i'll be surprised if he remembered to be honest." you said and minho laughed as he recalled the times where jisung forget his birthday and the other members' too. 
"i better let you see your boyfriend but we're going out later!" minho said as he walked to the dance studio and you nodded as you went to jisung's studio.
standing in front of the door as you typed in the code, you felt uneasy for some reason. it's almost like you were hoping that everything would turn out good but there was just something making you anxious. it was beyond him forgetting, you didn't really care about that as long as you got to see him. you took in the scene of him on his laptop but next to him there was someone and that was no one other than soohee. okay that was odd but you weren't gonna question it.
"babe? what are you doing here? ah damn i forgot to text you!" he said as he facepalmed himself and you just gave him a little smile as you hugged him. you could feel the piercing stare of soohee burning through you and it wasn't weird since you've never had the best relationship. 
"it's okay sung, i just wanted to see you and ask you if you're coming by today?" you asked as he grabbed your hands and he looked so happy but then his smile faded and he looked at soohee.
"actually i had plans with soohee, that's why i invited her so we could head out together in a bit." he said and ouch if that didn't sting, you didn't know what would. even if you wanted to say that you wanted to have your birthday with him, that you didn't want him to go out with his best friend, you didn't say anything. 
"okay! i'll see you tomorrow baby." you said smiling with teary eyes which concerned jisung immediately as he nodded and kissed you to then let you go. he thought he didn't say anything wrong, maybe you were just unhappy that he was gonna hang out with soohee but she was his best friend after all and he made plans with her.
"i never would've thought you would choose me today but thank you jiji, i'm sure we'll have a good time." soohee said as she got up to go out and that had jisung so confused. what was she referring to with "today"? he suddenly felt the urge to check the date and when he saw it crystal clear on his phone he felt like disappearing. he literally chose to spend his partner's birthday with someone else and you're so kind hearted that you let him do it. he felt like he didn't deserve you at all.
felix ✉
unfortunately you had to work on your birthday which wasn't uncommon but you were kind of excited to spend it with felix. you tried to not look at the clock as time went by but it seemed impossible because you only wanted to get out of there and go to your apartment and celebrate the rest of the day. yet you were glued to your desk chair as you went by all the messages on your phone and also the endless emails that seemed to arrive when you wanted to leave the most.
it was an incoming call from australia that startled you and made you get out of your office to pick it up and when you heard who it was, you couldn't help but smile.
"(y/n)? i hope felix gave me the right number. happy birthday! i miss you." olivia said on the other side and you could hear rachel say happy birthday as well. you had a really solid relationship with felix's sisters when you visited them in australia to meet the whole family. so hearing them say nice things to you even if you were miles away from each other was really heartwarming.
"thank you so much, i miss you too!" you said and you continued to talk for a while until a sudden question popped you out of your bubble and took you by surprise.
"what did my brother get you?" rachel asked and then you realized that you haven't seen felix all day. he hasn't even texted you yet and you could understand if he was busy but he usually made time for that and sent a text or two.
"we haven't seen each other yet but i'll be happy with anything." you responded and they both were happy to hear that but since felix hasn't stopped talking to them about getting you something, they were taken by surprise as well. 
as you hung up after a while, you looked at the clock again to see work time was over and headed back to your apartment. you were expecting felix to be there since work would usually be over for you at the same time but you opened the door and it looked just like you left it. you sighed disappointed but you didn't let it ruin your day as you responded to the rest of the texts that were coming your way and as you opened instagram, you were greeted with something or rather someone.
you followed soohee mostly because she asked you to when you first met. she stopped following you a while after but you still followed her because you just didn't wanna seem rude. but here she was with your boyfriend, hanging out and just having a great old time together. to any other person it would seem like they were on a date even from how close they looked and that made you feel a level of insecurity you didn't know you had in you. the caption being "with my best friend, my everything<3" and you shut down your phone.
you felt so stupid for crying over this and as you sent a text to felix asking if he was having a good time, you felt like you were being immature. but then a side of you was saying it wasn't fair that he did this to you and was hoping he would realize his mistake.
felix got the message as he was going to soohee's apartment and he responded that he did indeed have a good time. he really wanted to see you at night though and he was excited to just drop by, have a cozy evening with you and hold you most of all.
"ugh they're texting you? i can never get you all to myself." soohee said as she took a look at felix on his phone and a frown formed on felix's face. he knew you two didn't get along but she was never really vocal about how she felt about you. "they're probably pissed that you decided to spend their birthday with me."
"that wasn't today." felix backfired and soohee just raised an eyebrow. he checked his phone again to see messages from his sisters saying that they called you to say happy birthday and that he should give you the present soon. that was only from hours ago and he stood still like a statue as he couldn't walk anymore to his friend's apartment and as he saw it was night already, he felt the tears come in because he made a huge mistake. he turned around and headed to your apartment, hoping he wasn't too late and ignoring soohee calling out for him.
seungmin ✉
you weren't sure if seungmin forgot or was acting out because he was planning a surprise. he woke up that day and kissed you on the cheek as he told you he was leaving for the day. you didn't think much of it but it was certainly uncommon for him to act that way and not even drop a "happy birthday". it didn't stop your excitement though 'cause the day just started and you didn't know what you were in for.
time was going by in a flash as you spent the day answering all the messages. no sign of seungmin though and to be honest that's the only person you wanted to see was him. you decided to go out and clear your mind, maybe visit a friend or a family member since you didn't really plan anything for the day. 
as you were outside you got an incoming call from jeongin and you picked it up as soon as you saw it.
"happy birthday (y/n)! i hope hyung planned something nice for today." he said cheerful and it had you smiling until the last part as you looked around and remembered there was still no seungmin next to you. you didn't even care about presents or having a big party, you just wanted to spend the day with your loved one.
"i think he forgot innie and i don't know how to feel." you responded and that had jeongin worried. his hyung forgetting his partner's birthday? it was possible but where could he be if he wasn't with you? especially right now since they had free time.
"i hope he's planning a surprise because i will kick him if he doesn't show up." that made you chuckle a little bit but it was gone in a second as you really hoped this was just part of a plan. "if you're feeling lonely though, drop by the dorms and we'll keep you company."
"that's okay, i'd rather not bother you during your break. besides he will probably show up, well that's what i'm hoping for at least." you said and you continued to talk for a while. you hanged up because you didn't want to bother your boyfriend's bandmate with your negative thoughts right now and wanted to head to one of your friend's houses. but something stopped you from doing that and it was the image of seungmin being not so far away from you as he talked to someone, as you got a closer look you could tell who it was. soohee and you were never gonna be friends and you accepted it, right now though it seemed like she had it all planned out from the start and it made you incredibly upset. he was too oblivious to say no and she was too persistent to give up. you headed back to your apartment 'cause that sight ruined your day alone.
when seungmin got to the dorms late at night, he saw that the maknae was still awake and on the phone with someone. he didn't pay too much attention to it but then he heard jeongin comforting someone who seemed very upset on the other side. but when he heard who it was, it all crumbled.
"(y/n) hyung/noona, it's okay. i'm sorry you had to witness that, i wish you didn't choose to spend your birthday alone and you dropped by. you're never a bother to us!" he said and seungmin couldn't hear what you responded but he heard jeongin end the call. he took in what happened today and he didn't know what was gonna happen next. "hyung you really messed up this time..." jeongin said as he saw his friend's figure standing by the door.
"i'm such a fucking idiot." seungmin said and as he looked at the time, he knew he was too late. your birthday was gone and there was no way of turning time around to make it up to you.
jeongin ✉
you woke up to an empty bed. it was okay because you remembered you had plans at night for your birthday and you knew jeongin was working today. looking at your phone, flooded with messages from the boys, your friends, your family, everyone you knew. yet there was no jeongin, maybe he was waiting to see you to tell it to you in person, yeah that was the conclusion in your head.
night time arrived pretty quickly and before you knew it you were getting dressed to go to dinner. your reservation was made by you and it was for the both of you to have a good time. you would eventually celebrate your birthday with your friends and family on another day but tonight was just for you and innie which made you smile. just thinking about seeing him made your heart beat faster, it's like you kept falling in love with him all over again every time you had a date.
when you arrived, jeongin still wasn't there and you spent the time texting seungmin back and forth. he told you that jeongin had already left practice earlier and he imagined it was because he wanted to prepare for your birthday. you hoped it was but it didn't really make sense that he wouldn't be here then if he got out of work a bit earlier. 
30 minutes passed, no sign of your boyfriend. it had you quite concerned as you looked at the door every time someone walked in but it was never him. disappointed but still with hope, you called seungmin just to keep you company for a bit.
"that's really weird. usually he's on time for everything and i'm pretty sure he told me about dinner with you like two days ago?" seungmin said and it felt like you were preparing for the worst as you took in his words. he was right though, he usually would be the first to arrive all the time and today he didn't even text you. "we should give it time though, let's just hope he's getting you a gift or something."
"he does tend to forget to buy gifts so it does seem possible." you respond and seungmin laughs as he remembers the time jeongin showed up to his birthday party, rushing from getting him a last minute present. 
seungmin had to go to your dismay and then you looked at the clock. an hour and thirty minutes had passed, you were sure you were getting kicked out if you hit the two hour mark. you grabbed your phone again and doubted if you should call your boyfriend or not but decided to give it a try. you just wanted to know if everything was okay and if something had happened. you weren't prepared though when you heard that voice on the other line.
"(y/n)? what do you want?" soohee responded to your call and you didn't know how to feel about many things. one why was she using your boyfriend's phone and two why was she there in the first place. 
"can i talk to jeongin?" you said ignoring all the red flags for now if you could only hear your boyfriend's voice justifying this even though there was no way of doing so. you already wanted to cry thinking of all the scenarios in your head but you shook them off.
"he's busy right now but i can send him a message if you want?" soohee said with the most fake tone you've ever heard and you nodded as the tears spilled. you grabbed your things preparing to leave because you just couldn't be there anymore.
"tell him to go fuck himself." you said as you hanged up and it was kinda dramatic but you felt in every right to do so as you left a tip for the waiter and stepped out of the restaurant. 
jeongin looked at soohee as he asked her to pick up the phone for him but then realized it was a big mistake because he didn't think of the possibility of you being on the other line. he knew you two didn't get along but he tried his best to make you two avoid each other.
"who was it?" jeongin asked because he was indeed busy as he was in the kitchen and soohee was sitting in the couch. she laughed as she recalled how mad you sounded on the other line and said your name. jeongin froze as he thought about you hearing his friend's voice in the other line instead of his. "what did they say?"
"that you should go fuck yourself which was kind of rude but then i suddenly remembered it's their birthday." soohee said and jeongin took a deep breath as he remembered the dinner reservation. of course you were fuming, of course he deserved to go fuck himself and of course this would be the end if he didn't make it up to you. he was panicking as he grabbed his things and tried not to cry all the way to your apartment. he needed to fix this mess that he created.
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gin-juice-tonic · 1 month
Text
Hello. It's me again. I'm sure you've realized by now what this type of introduction to a post is leading into. I'm going to bring up another page in the bill book. This entry is going to be less about "proving" anything, but rather it's just something I'd like to discuss. (Also just a warning, this one ends up a bit long due to how many photos are included!)
As I have said before. I had many many thoughts, and I am liable to talk about them until they're all talked out. I want to focus on a single page again (Or I guess, a single double page).
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Sorry for the kinda small image here, but don't worry. I'll point out the part I want to talk about.
What I find strange about these pages in particular, aside from the fact that it starts to become written like some sort of noir novel and that Bill has chosen to speak like a femme-fatale, is the new idea it suggests to us:
Bill at some point told Ford he was from another dimension.
I say "at some point" because Ford doesn't react to the idea like this is new information here. Why do I find that strange? Well, for one thing, there's never anything that would indicate Ford knew this pre-portal.
To start, we know that Bill introduces himself to Ford as "a Muse"
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Notice the way Ford speaks about him. "From a higher plane, divine, otherworldly". He makes some guesses on the second page (spirit, alien, dream, etc), but nothing to indicate they've discussed the whole other-dimension thing yet. Of course, this is still early, so let's skip further ahead.
Here's where we start talking about other dimensions. Or should I say "dimension"?
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Bill has told his "weirdness dimension" lie to Ford, but there's no implication that he himself is from this dimension. And not to mention, this dimension hasn't been destroyed, so naturally it cannot be the one he talks about in the Bill Book pages.
(Later Edit: There used to be another line of reasoning here, I have since removed it.)
Regardless, Bill is still being referred to as a divine thing, unknowable and even possibly not real. Safe to say he isn't inter-dimensional yet, so let's continue.
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(this section has been edited from its original wording)
Here Fiddleford and his idiosyncrasies enter the fray, and Ford debates telling him. Fiddleford is aware they're building a portal to another dimension, Ford could just explain that Bill himself is from one. But Ford's attitude toward the situation veers towards the less scientific. Ford still considers Bill to be something divine, and is worried Fiddleford would think black magic is happening. Worrying that Fiddleford would think he's gone mad is one thing, but the emphasis on black magic and fiddlefords superstitions strike me as odd.
If Ford had something to suggest Bill's essence was more scientific in nature, I.E. him being from another dimension himself, I think he would've put that into consideration in that when deciding whether to reveal him to Fiddleford, or at the very least would've given up the emphasis on his superstitious nature
Continuing on.
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We're closing in on the portal test now. Ford refers to him here as a "non corporeal entity". He is non corporeal so long as he exists only in the astral plane... but is that what Ford is talking about? Or does he believe Bill has only ever existed in the mindscape? Does he know yet? I don't think this page actually includes much of an answer, I just figured it should be included.
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The next-next page does have Ford cheekily refer to him as "imaginary" though...
Fairly soon after this, the portal incident and the betrayal happens. Could it be possible that somewhere within these pages, Bill spilt his home dimension backstory? I'm still inclined to think not.
These questions have no definitive answer, but I am led to wonder:
1) Bill's whole dynamic with Ford is that of a "Muse" inspiring intelligent minds throughout history, wouldn't the reveal of him being from another dimension call this dynamic into question?
2) If Bill is something from another dimension, wouldn't asking Ford to build a portal to a dimension totally-not-at-all-related-to-him become suspicious? Would Ford not question his motives at that point?
(Later Edit: There used to be another line of reasoning here, I have since removed it. Yeah, again.)
(A second later edit: As has been pointed out in the reblogs, some of what I have discussed thus far fails to take into account the mental state Ford could be in due to Bill's abuse/manipulations. Expecting perfect logic and reasoning from him like the two questions above are asking for may not be fair. I am leaving them in this post so the aforementioned reblogs continue to make sense, but again, how his abuse factors into his logic and decision-making should be taken into consideration.)
.
.
I have just a few more post-portal pages to show to continue my long winded discussion with as well.
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The pages about Exwhylia read a bit weirdly, admittedly. The first page Ford states he thought this was Bill's birthplace, the second page he states he believes Bill came from somewhere similar but was mysteriously destroyed.
If Ford thought this 2-D dimension had been reduced to an atom before he got there, how could he have planned to go? And I should hardly call being destroyed by a monster a "mysterious" method of destroying. Whatever the explanation for the way these are written is, I don't think they read like Bill has ever spoken to Ford about his home dimension.
Additionally, he mentions his "quest to defeat Bill" is what led him here, which I feel implies he learned of this place after being portaled.
I wish I had a good closer for this mini-essay, but the questions I asked above the Exwhylia section were originally supposed to be it. I don't believe Bill had told Ford about his dimension. That's the end of the sentence.
MAJOR ADDENDUM:
I can't believe I missed this (I can believe it) but.. In the book of Bill, Ford refers to Bill as "extradimensional" after their very first meeting!
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Pinpointing the answer to my timeline question supposedly to this exact moment. In my opinion, if you combine this with everything I've mentioned above, no part of this idea from the book of bill makes any sense at all. You might remember at the beginning of this post, Ford guesses at what type of creature Bill is... two years after this last page here was supposed to have been written.
Additionally, if he had known there was an "extradimensional" creature in gravity falls at this point in time, I should hardly think it would've taken him two whole years after that to think of the idea that the Falls' weirdness may come from out of our dimension! (Not to mention in J3 he tells us the idea was told to him directly from Bill. Two years elapsed between these conversations? Knowing Ford, not likely. Again, even if Bill somehow did avoid telling him that whole time, I think Ford very well could've figured it out on his own by then.)
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cupidisaliar · 4 months
Text
Bound by infinity ♾️
Gojo x student reader
No warnings i guess. Let me know if there are any I should add. Second fic from a long ass hiatus of one post haha.
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Sorcery training wrapped up, and you pack belongings and bid your peers farewell.
It was Panda's bright idea to have you and the rest of the first years run around the track, making you realize how out of shape you are.
It's hard work, you must admit—the whole sorcerer thing.
You navigate the familiar halls exhausted, heading to your dorm room, and unintentionally collide with your sensei, Gojo Satoru.
Unbeknownst to you, his technique, infinity, remains in place.
"Oops," you chuckle breathlessly. "Sorry! Bye, Sensei!" Your words accompany a slight bump, making him step slightly to the right. With an awkward smile, you turn to leave.
Gojo is in front of you again.
'Well, he can teleport…' you recall, 'and he's annoying.'
You look up, and although his blindfold remains around his eyes, he appears to be staring right at you. His eyes seem to pierce through the black cloth, through you. A slight chill crawls up your spine.
"…Are you okay, sensei?" you inquire.
Gojo doesn't move an inch, his gaze still on you. Neither of you says a word as the silence becomes deafening. A leaky faucet, a bird's chirp, and an unmoving Gojo suddenly become the focus of your attention.
After what feels like forever, a light smile graces his emotionless face.
"I'm just testing my infinity, that is all..." he finally speaks, a light smile still adorning his face.
You blink, "Okay, what about it?" You sigh, assuming he wants you to humour him; he always thinks he is funny.
"I was curious whether the effects of my infinity technique would be negated if a force bumped into me by accident." He says flatly.
"Doesn't it always?" you shrug.
The gears begin to turn in your head.
Doesn't it always…
"My infinity has always negated forces that approach it. Someone has never bumped into me... At least not that I am aware of." He crosses his arms.
You say nothing, and the words won't come out. They aren't even there.
'Did I just…'
After a moment, Gojo seems amused by something. "Well, let's keep it between us, and the rest of the school shall not know about this." He says with a slight chuckle.
Gojo smiles. "Don't worry about it, it doesn't affect me. And I won't say anything. But..." he pauses. "I am just curious... How did you get past my infinity?"
You shake your head. "I...I don’t-I don’t know…” You stammer.
"Well, I guess I'll keep my curiosity in check..." he chuckles again. "Have a good day, Y/N ."
He then proceeds to walk away.
'Should I also leave, or should I continue to the dorms? What should I do? Infinity? How does that work again?' Your thoughts dance and taunt you around as you watch your sensei leave.
You snap out of it when he's out of sight and run to your dorm. Exhausted from training and the interaction with Gojo.
'It all feels like a bad dream. Gojo Satoru is the strongest.' It was probably just a slip-up. His infinity wasn't up, and he assumed it was.
Changing into sleepwear, you are about to settle into bed when there is a knock at the door.
You open the door only to find Gojo sensei standing before you.
"I have a question for you," he says, walking in without waiting for an answer.
"Uhm..make yourself at home, I guess—"
Ignoring you, he walks to the center of your bedroom and looks at you.
"Why can you bypass my infinity technique? My curiosity got the best of me," he says, not blinking.
He's blinking? Oh..his blindfold is off. You notice it hanging around his neck. Blue eyes peer at you, and he seems eager for a reply.
"Sensei..." you start. I honestly have no idea."… I'm sorry," you say. It's all you can manage; a worried look plagues your face.
"It is alright; you don't need to worry." He smiles, almost in an odd manner. I just wanted to know how you managed to do it. But... if you don't know how you did it, then I am even more curious," he muses, walking over and leaning on your wall.
"Honestly, it was probably a one-time thing… maybe," you shrug, attempting to grasp a coherent sentence. "You're tired…maybe it wasn't even on—"
"Nah, It was definitely on," Gojo replies flatly. "But, I am still curious…" he says; he seems to peer at your soul without that blindfold.
"Do you want to try again?" You cut him off.
Gojo is silent, his eyes widened slightly. A small smile slowly comes across his face.
"Yes," he agrees, his eyes still glued to you.
You slowly reach your hand out, your palm outstretched.
Gojo looks back at your hand, then back at your eyes.
He steps away from the wall, still smiling. "So…you want to try this?" he questions, his tone serious.
"Yeah, is your infinity on?" You fail to hide your nervousness. Your voice shakes, as does your hand.
Gojo pauses for a moment to think about his answer. "It is, yes," he says without blinking as he watches you.
Your hand lingers in the air, shaking slightly as you wait for him to move. You take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
"You know what this technique is, right?" he asks, stepping closer to you. It means nothing can touch me, nothing can hurt me." He is so close to you.
"I know," you barely whisper.
Gojo lets us have an airy chuckle, breaking the tension in the room. His eyes seem so bright, brighter than ever.
You can't seem to see what's boiling underneath.
“Try it.” he challenges, his hand almost touching yours now, the other in his pocket.
You move your hand toward him, touching it effortlessly and going through his infinity.
Your hand is touching Gojo’s, and you keep your eyes glued to the back of your hands touching. You expected nothing to happen. It has always been an impenetrable technique, but for some reason, your hand is touching his during his infinity.
You hear Gojo gasp. “Incredible,” he whispers.
You swallow air, and your blood runs cold. Why do you have such a bad feeling about all of this?
Gojo looks straight at you. His eyes look curious as if he's studying you. “Can you pull your hand back?” he asks.
“Yeah..” You pull your hand back and put it back to your side.
“And nothing happened to you?” he asks, unblinking. “I feel fine, sensei.”
“I see..” he smiles, looking down at his hand. You wonder why he seems so giddy. Is he okay? You have to ask. “Gojo, are you–?”
He’s laughing. Laughter filled with joy and excitement.
“Sensei..” you try to talk to him.
Gojo is laughing joyously; you've never heard him laugh like this.
“Sensei, are you okay?”
“I've never seen anything like this... Y/n.. you can get past my infinity!” He beams. “You didn’t feel anything, did you?”
You shake your head. “N-no, I didn’t,” you mumble.
Gojo smiles. “Well, that settles it. It seems to me you have an immunity to infinity.”
He pauses for a moment, looking–no staring at you, like that would help him understand the reason behind all of this.
“I must say, I find you very interesting. I have never met anyone like you.” He comments, his unblinking eyes filled with fascination.
“What do you mean?” You question.
“Just as I said, it’s rare that I meet someone who can neutralize my technique. In all my years, I have never seen someone with that ability. It’s only been objects.”
You nod. You’re worried. You want to know what all this means. You look back up, and Gojo looks off to the side. You follow his gaze to a jewelry box in your room.
“Now then!” he clasps his hands together. “For now, this will remain our little secret..” You notice he speaks in a light-hearted tone now.
“..Until it is necessary to get more people to know.” He says, letting out a small chuckle.
“Why would they–” You start.
“Don’t worry,” Gojo says. You aren’t sure if he is reassuring you or himself. “It is simply because I know some people would definitely want their hands on that technique you have.
What a scary thought.
“But… we can cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, don't worry, my Y/N.
You almost miss it.
My Y/n?
You swallow… “Sensei, are you okay? I want to know because you are the strongest, but I can get past your technique.
“I am perfectly fine.” He replies sternly.
He notices your worried expression.
“I’m fine, Y/n. I know you are probably confused right now. This will all make sense in time.” He crosses his arms.
He walks towards you, towering over you.
“Now.. do not let any doubts creep into your mind,” he says, pulling his blindfold up. “You will be fine. Just leave everything to me.” You watch as he ties his hair up with it, and it obscures those piercing blue irises.
You nod. “Yeah,” you reply. Of course, you trust Gojo. You always have.
Always.
Gojo sensei smiles back, his expression filled with assurance. He knows you have doubts.
“Let me give you a piece of advice,” he says, dropping his hands. Now, he looks like how he usually does, hidden from the world.
“You seem very kind. In our world, sorcerers are not always the best people. But you…you have a kind heart. I can see that.”
“Do not let anyone change that. You hear me?” He adds, raising his voice slightly.
“I promise,” You reply.
“...Good…”
Gojo pats you on the shoulder. “I trust you. You can trust me?” He asks. You can’t tell whether it was a question or a statement. He sounds almost remorseful.
You feel a sadness brewing inside him, the calm before the storm. He’s troubled.
“Isn’t this so weird?” you blurt out; it's your attempt at lightening the mood.
Gojo smiles, seeming relieved.
“It is weird, isn’t it?” he replies in your light-hearted manner.
“It feels as though destiny crossed our paths. Maybe fate brought us together,” he says thoughtfully and slightly sad.
“Maybe it did.” You say.
He pats your back.
“Now, I have something to attend to. Come to me, and only me, if you need anything.” He says, walking to your door.
“Goodbye, Y/n.” He says, back still turned
He leaves, shutting the door.
He left his worry in the room with you; it’s suffocating. You feel like you can’t breathe.
That terrible feeling in your gut never went away.
You don’t think it ever will now
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yourmidnightlover · 2 years
Note
(You don’t have to do this) Xavier Thorpe x reader
The try not to kiss each other challenge on tiktok
ahh YES! i hope i brought your request to justice
i'm gonna take this as like a lovers to friends to lovers kinda thing bc there isnt enough of that going around with our beloved xavier
i also wanted to let y'all know that i am working through my requests! inspiration strikes at odd hours, and i'm trying to delegate all of my time respectively to all of the fics i'm working on. but i assure you i will work through everything!
tension
paring: xavier thorpe x reader (duh)
summary: after months of flirting, your friends take matters into their own hands and dared you to do a tiktok trend.
warnings: kissing, tons of tension (also duh),they're cuddly? i don't think there's really anything else but let me know if i've missed something!
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it had been months and months of flirting between you and xavier thorpe. consistent, unending, raw flirting. this included the batting of eyelashes, shoving of arms, longing stares, buying of gifts... everything. the whole shebang.
and god, were enid, ajax and wednesday tired of it. wednesday constantly wanted to claw her own eyes out when she saw you. enid thought it was cute the first two months, but after that she was only confused as to why you would never make it official. and ajax would just tease the two of you. he voiced his concerns with xavier, occasionally with you, but mostly with xavier. he would mostly talk about how dumb he was to not just ask you out or make it official.
so, as enid was scrolling through tiktok, she stumbled upon a certain video of two friends... or mayabe they were more? either way, they were sitting in front of each other, and each one moved closer to the other. the premise was whoever breaks the tension and kisses the other loses, she guessed?
regardless, there was tension and there was a kiss and that is exactly what needs to happen with you and xavier in order to put everyone out of their misery.
so, she sent the tiktok to ajax and wednesday, the message reading:
weregirl: OMG! we've got to get them to do this! they'd totally admit everything!
middleoftheweek: this is repulsive to watch, but i hope it will be worth it as long as they get whatever they need to out of their system
snakes4hair: if this gives my boy the push he needs to make a move then i'll do basically whatever
and just like that... the game was afoot.
"dude," ajax was laughing at the lunch table. you had thrown your legs over xavier's lap, your head resting on his shoulder as he played with your hair. "there's this new thing i saw online the other day. enid sent it to me, and i doubt you and y/n would be able to do it," ajax chuckled as he looked towards enid.
"oh, definitely not," enid shook her head exaggeratedly. "they'd never be able to do it."
"do what?" xavier spoke up as he took a bite of your sandwich.
"yea, do what?" you perked up at the idea of a chellnege. "we could do it, right?"
"hell yea," xavier nodded as he pat your thigh. "we could 100% do it."
"i don't think you could," wednesday said curtly, sneering at both you and xavier's closeness. "at all."
"yes we could!" xavier removed his hands from your hair, throwing them up dramatically.
"alright," ajax spoke up. "i dare you to complete little challenge. you have to record it though, as proof, and post it."
"deal!" both you and xavier looked at each other, giving each other a high five that only resulted in your hands holding.
later that night, you and xavier had retreated to his shed as he painted before they sent you the video you had to recreate.
"seriously?" you scoffed. "they're just sitting there looking at each other with music playing," you looked at xavier as the video played.
"wait," he pointed at the screen. "they're like inching closer to each other. like one does and then the other."
"but why?" you got your answer less than thirty seconds later. "oh..." you glanced at xavier, who bit his lower lip before glancing at you with a smile.
"i never back down from a dare," xavier shrugged as he looked at you.
you nodded, "neither do i."
after setting up the camera with the video on the three-minute setting, about to start recording. you were sitting on the mattress that you had both smuggled in his shed, the one that used to be rowans before... well. yea. both sitting across from each other, your legs were overlapped with each other's. then, the music started playing.
at first you were both smiling, giggling, even. you inched closer to his face first, around 10 seconds after the music started. your faces seemed closer than they ever were before, and that's when the smiles faded and the tension built.
he reached around you and pulled you on top of his lap for his move. the longer this went on, the more it felt like a game of chess, only physical. you swore you could see every shade of green littering his irises. his cologne somehow radiated around you. you made the mistake of looking at his lips, curiosity getting the better of you. he was gently biting his lower lip. it was almost as if he wanted you to kiss it better.
then, you placed your hand on the lower side of his face, nearer to his neck. you could feel his pulse rate picking up. it was exciting to see what kind of power you had over him. you could now feel the way you affected him. now, you saw as his eyes went to your lips which only made you smirk that much more.
he used both of his hands to bring your face right in front of his. he was everywhere. to your side, you would see his hands. his hands took up nearly your entire face, and you loved the way they felt against your skin. part of you never wanted them to leave. you could nudge his nose with your own if you even slightly moved. you were getting close to losing this whole game. you wouldn't. you couldn't.
you tilted your head to the left, bringing your lips closer to his own but not touching. you were so close you could practically breathe in each other's air. you could feel his pulse pick up once more before you licked your lips, you felt his chuckle radiating around your head. but when you looked in his eyes you felt something totally different. it was heavier. it was more.
then, with a mumble, "screw it," he pulled your face into his own, kissing you with all the tension he had built up over not just the past two minutes, but from the past months of doing nothing.
your hand moved up to his hair, running through it like you had so many times. in this context, though, your hand running through his hair was so, so much different. it was much more intimate.
you let his tongue into your mouth happily, nearly breaking the kiss with how big of a grin you had on your face. one of his hands moved to your waist, wrapping around you like the warmest hug you've ever had. your other hand was holding the hand still on your face. you meant it when you said you never wanted them to leave.
truth be told, you never wanted him to leave. you never wanted to stop kissing him. you've wanted to for months on end, but you were too scared of being rejected. you thought he was joking about all of the flirting sometimes. the touches, everything. but this kiss felt more real than time.
"i think i won," xavier whispered as he went up for air. you shook your head.
"i think ajax won," you chuckled as you both began to laugh. "him or myself, of course," you rolled your eyes.
"we all won," he compromised.
"stupid tension, huh?"
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mcflymemes · 10 months
Text
PROMPTS FROM THE HUNGER GAMES *  assorted dialogue from the 2012 film, adjust as necessary
i think it's our tradition.
it's been the way we've been able to heal.
i think it's... something that knits us all together.
you were just dreaming.
they're not going to pick you.
try to go to sleep.
i just gotta go. but i'll be back. i love you.
what are you gonna do with that when you kill it?
i was gonna sell it.
now i have nothing.
what if everyone just stopped watching?
it's as simple as that.
i'm not laughing at you.
we could do it, you know? take off. live in the woods.
we wouldn't make it five miles.
i'm never having kids.
guess the odds aren't exactly in my favor.
you keep it. it's yours.
aww, look at you. you look beautiful.
wish i looked like you.
as long as you have it, nothing bad will happen to you, okay? i promise.
freedom has a cost.
this is how we remember our past. this is how we safeguard our future.
you're stronger than they are. you are.
they just want a good show. that's all they want.
whatever you do, don't let them starve.
you know if you don't want to talk, i understand. but i just don't think there's anything wrong with getting a little bit of help.
so when do we start?
know, in your heart, that there's nothing i can do to save you.
you made me spill my drink.
i think i'll go finish this in my room.
you'll freeze to death first.
can you pass the marmalade?
you really wanna know how to stay alive? you get people to like you.
are there any surprises that we can expect this year?
i'm sorry that this happened to you, and i'm here to help you in any way i can.
you're here to make me look pretty.
i'm gonna do something that they're gonna remember.
don't be afraid.
why don't you go clean yourselves up a little before dinner?
i didn't touch your knife!
i hear you can shoot.
i hope you noticed we have a serious situation.
loosen your corset and have a drink.
i thought they hated me.
don't you know how beautiful you look?
just be yourself. i'll be there the whole time.
i'm prepared, vicious, and i'm ready to go.
do you want to tell us about it?
do i smell like roses to you?
you don't talk to me, and then you say you have a crush on me?
he made you look desirable.
we are not star crossed lovers.
look for water. water's your new best friend.
give me your arm.
we need a signal, in case one of us gets held up.
if you can't scare them, give them something to root for.
everyone likes an underdog.
i'm not gonna leave you.
nobody's gonna find you in here.
we'll just get you some medicine.
i should have gone to you.
i remember the first time i saw you.
[name], you're not gonna risk your life for me. i'm not gonna let you.
now there's no way i'm letting you go.
go on. i'm dead anyway. i always was, right? i didn't know that until now.
it's the only thing i know how to do.
there has been a slight rule change.
one of us has to die.
i'm sorry it didn't go the way they planned.
i couldn't imagine life without him.
they must be very proud of you.
so what happens when we get back?
i don't want to forget.
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mysteryshoptls · 4 months
Text
SSR Deuce Spade - Platinum Jacket Vignette
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Deuce: This museum really has a ton of paintings. Not that I really know how to act in quiet places like this…
Deuce: Oh, but I can't use that as an excuse. I'll have to be a good supporter for the museum, just like any honor student would!
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???: Is this dome… a teapot cover? Why would the Card Soldiers be carrying tea?
Deuce: Huh, you don't know, Sebek? Cool, then I'll tell you about it.
Deuce: This painting shows a scene of a trial from one of the Queen of Hearts' legends…
Deuce: And those Card Soldiers aren't actually carrying tea, but a witness for the case: a tiny mouse!
Sebek: Hmph, what's with that smug look? Well, fine, never thought there'd be a day that you'd have something to teach me, I suppose.
Deuce: Heheh. I'm a supporter for the museum, so it makes sense that I can explain something like that.
Deuce: Since I'm a student of Heartslabyul, I made sure to study extra hard all the tales related to the Queen of Hearts or her Card Soldiers.
Sebek: Is that so? Still, did it require two of them to transport a single small mouse?
Deuce: According to the story, it was a crucial witness, so they wanted to make sure it got to the Queen safely.
Deuce: Ah, that reminds me… We had something similar to this painting go down at Heartslabyul just the other day.
Deuce: Though, it wasn't a witness that was getting brought in…
Sebek: What, was there some lout breaking the Queen of Hearts' laws?
Deuce: Yeah. There was this one student who'd been breaking the rules over and over again, and he was finally being brought before Rosehearts-ryōchō for a stern reprimand…
Deuce: When the two guys tasked with hauling him in came to bring him to the Housewarden, that rule-breaker ran.
Sebek: Why do you even have people tasked with hauling others in…? You folk in Heartslabyul have far too many strange duties and rules!
Sebek: But that transgressor is also a coward, fearing reprimand and fleeing without taking responsibility for their actions.
Deuce: Right? He made his bed, he's gotta lie in it.
Sebek: Judging by your manner of speech there, am I right to assume that you helped to secure that transgressor?
Deuce: Yeah. I ran after the guy and caught him in a flash.
Deuce: Not like I've been training my legs or working on quick, explosive power in my sprints while in the Track and Field Club for nothing!
Sebek: Oho, so you captured them. And what were those two that were supposed to have brought him in doing?
Deuce: The guys on duty were apparently so shocked when the rule-breaker ran away that they couldn't move quick enough.
Deuce: But once I brought him back to them, they firmly took hold of him on both sides and brought him to the Housewarden, though.
Sebek: I see. So perhaps the reason why it isn't considered overkill to have two people on duty for such a thing is in case something unexpected occurs.
Deuce: Maybe…? I guess so.
Deuce: Ah, but listen to this. After he finished reprimanding the rule-breaker, Rosehearts-ryōchō praised me for a job well done.
Deuce: "Not only did you capture the transgressor without a moment's delay, but you showed good judgement in allowing the students on duty to do their job as assigned," he said!
Sebek: True, normally you'd do something brash like bringing that offending student directly to Riddle-senpai after capturing him.
Sebek: An unusually calm and mature judgement, coming from you.
Deuce: Hey, nothing "unusual" about it! It's not strange that I was able to think that through.
Deuce: Because, I'm on my way to becoming an honor student!
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Sebek: Oh, this painting… It looks as though it's based on the legend that speaking a wish into a well would make it come true.
Deuce: Yeah, so if you make a wish into a well, it sends your voice back out. I remember that well, 'cause I always thought that was odd.
Sebek: It's merely an echo. What is so odd about that?
Deuce: Huh, an echo?
Sebek: You didn't even know that? I'm speaking of the phenomenon in which sound bounces off of water or walls and is reflected back.
Deuce: Huh… Oh, so is that the same sort of thing as when sounds reverberate in a tunnel?
Sebek: That's right, as tunnels are also primed for echoes.
Deuce: Oh, okay… That actually brings back memories.
Deuce: Whenever I'd be riding through long tunnels, I'd put the pedal to the metal and rev it up so loud.
Sebek: You'd rev what? Are you talking about some kind of music?
Deuce: No, no. I'm talking about a blastcycle, not any instruments or whatever.
Deuce: The engine can make different sounds based on the body of the blastcycle, or even from the way it's ridden.
Deuce: It can make heavy thumping sounds, or low, rolling sounds…
Deuce: And it can be really fun to change up my driving style just to hear those different sounds.
Deuce: Whenever I ended up alongside another driver who knew how to make their own engine sing,
Deuce: It was easy to just end up competing to see who could make their engine rev louder.
Sebek: And what is so fun about that? It just seems to be a cacophony of noise, based on what you're saying.
Deuce: YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL! It's great because I can feel it to my core.
Deuce: And, it feels sooooo amazing to feel the vibration of the engine echoing off the tunnel walls!
Deuce: AND PICKING UP SPEED IS THE BEST PART!
Deuce: The faster I go, the higher the pitch of the engine…the more that sound echoes in the tunnels…
Deuce: By the end of it all, the only sound I can hear is the blastcycle engine… I just can't get enough of that feeling!
Sebek: Shh, Deuce. You're being too loud, lower your voice. You're going to bother everyone else trying to enjoy the silence.
Deuce: Ah, sorry… Actually, kinda feels weird to get told by you of all people to lower my voice.
Sebek: Why is that? I don’t raise my voice like that unnecessarily.
Deuce: Eh… You seriously saying that right now?
Sebek: Obviously. At any rate, I don't really understand what you were saying about those blastcycles, but…
Sebek: You shouldn't cause a ruckus while riding, unlike what you did just now.
Deuce: Well, obviously I try to ride so I don't bother others on the road… At least, now I do…
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Deuce: Oh hey, it's the Lord of the Underworld. I like how brave he looks flying through the sky in this painting.
Deuce: And on top of it all… He's way too cool, rushing to the front lines like that to save his captured comrades!
Sebek: Right. The Lord of the Underworld must have been a truly capable fellow, able to take on even the most difficult missions by himself.
Sebek: One would require proper deliberation and competency to achieve positive results.
Deuce: Urgh… That hits a sore spot…
Sebek: A sore spot…? Ah, you are talking about what happened last week.
Sebek: I remember seeing you, Grim, [Yuu]… and Ace, if I recall. It was while I was heading back from flight class.
Sebek: All four of you were standing like idiots in the hallway, being scolded by Trein-sensei.
Deuce: URGH!!!! You saw that!?
Deuce: I-I didn't plan on it ending with us getting in trouble! It wasn't supposed to end like that…
Sebek: I'm sure it is a ridiculous story… But why not, I'll listen to whatever excuses you come up with.
Deuce: At the start of History of Magic class, Trein-sensei told [Yuu] to read out loud a passage from the textbook.
Deuce: But that page was completely ruined by drool, since Grim fell asleep on it the night before, so it was impossible to read.
Deuce: So, I raised my hand, offering to read it instead.
Sebek: So why did that end up with you all being sent out to the hallway?
Deuce: …I forg… …xtboo…
Sebek: I can't hear you, speak up.
Deuce: I… I'M SAYING I FORGOT THE NECESSARY TEXTBOOK!!!!
Sebek: So you tried to step up, even though you didn't have the textbook… You're a fool who has gone beyond help.
Deuce: Ace was saying something like that, too. Both him and Grim were laughing at me for that.
Deuce: Even though it was really Grim's fault in the first place!!
Deuce: [Yuu] even pointed that out to them, but they wouldn't stop, so…
Deuce: We ended up arguing… Which then got us sent out into the hallway before long to deal with the consequences of our actions.
Sebek: So that's why you were in the hallway. However, I don't understand. Why did you do such an unnecessary thing?
Sebek: Even if Grim or [Yuu] were to be reprimanded, that has nothing to do with you.
Deuce: Nothing to do with me? Come on, there's no way I can let my friends flounder like that.
Deuce: I mean, Grim aside… [Yuu]'s helped me out a ton before, so.
Sebek: Hmph. Then I guess at the very least, next time you should act after you've determined whether you have your textbook or not.
[Sebek walks off]
Deuce: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!
Deuce: Geez, and he walks off after one last parting shot, huh… Ugh. Guess I'll try to shake off this funk by checking out some of the other exhibits.
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Deuce: Oh, this is a painting of a girl singing with flowers. She looks like she's having fun, but according to the story…
Deuce: If I remember correctly, she was described as vulgar, rude, and weedy...
Deuce: Doesn't matter where you are, or who you are, everyone has to follow the rules. Not a shocker to me that those who can't follow 'em end up in sticky situations.
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Requested by @farfalla049.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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i only bake when im happy. my grandmother taught me this. she says she has "a stigma" about it. (i say "isn't that the holes in the hands like jesus?" and get, from my father, a not-altogether unexpected back-of-the-head whack). she says that cooking you can kind-of fake. but you can taste if someone put their heart into baking.
i haven't made anything in an oven for over a year.
at first it was just plain grief. i couldn't even eat, much less mealplan. i have a weird thing about food; and can eat the same thing, every day, and be extremely happy about it. then i moved; and the oven here is weird, and i figured - ah, i'll figure it out eventually.
being sad silences such odd parts of your life. it's not like i meant to give up baking. i like baking. i list it in my hinge bio. people who have been friends with me for a while know she bakes. i like to make complicated, artistic things - things that take days to plan and a week to execute properly. my favorite does remain chocolate chip cookies - something about them being so simple and so immediately satisfying.
there are people i met in the last year who don't believe me. you don't cook, they laugh. which, i mean, i guess is true. as we speak, i'm eating something out of the microwave for dinner again. but still. i call one of my new friends and i tell her i saw a recipe for snail pretzels. she laughs and says why would you need that?
it's weird, i guess. i have so many very-very-very good memories, barefoot and dancing in yellow kitchens, humming to old music, my hands around a bowl. why, out of everything, is that what the grief stole? just this sudden, strange ... missing piece. and to be honest; it kind of scares me. because it happened so quietly is the thing. i never meant to stop baking. it just ... kind of happened to me.
i'm in the hard part of therapy - where you have to start feeling things. the whole world opens up and suddenly, everything hurts like you're 19. exciting! i am also, at the same time, and for the first time in my whole life - only beholden to me. any longterm choice i make only impacts my life. my first and only priority is just... me. for a while, the only way i experienced this sensation was to think how blisteringly lonely.
but i cleaned my kitchen today. later i will call nick and we will talk about stupid shit. tomorrow alex and i are binge watching tv. i have finished rearranging my plants today; they span my ceiling in a river of green.
and i think. i think. tonight i'll make cookies. i don't know if i'm happy. but it's just. you know. in the spirit of trying.
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themultifanshipper · 5 months
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Really, even though you were friends, the last thing Logan should be asking the Williams HR representative about, in her office, is sex.
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Warnings: oral, petnames, lots of petnames
Based on true events that happened to me last week. Only difference is it was in my appartment, and I didn't actually come.
Do I use too much italics? Probably. Do I care? Not one iota.
So yeah, this was probably breaching several clauses in both your contracts.
But Logan came into your office, looking a bit sheepish, and sat down on the grey sofa in the corner without a word. You just stared at him, waiting for him to say something, but he just avoided your gaze.
"What can I do for you Logan?"
He didn't answer, just squinting at the floor, contemplative.
He came into your office quite often. Probably more than was strictly appropriate but after all, you used to be on the media team and had become friends with most of the drivers during your years at williams. Usually Logan and Alex (and occasionally others who "happened to be passing by") would come in for a chat, generally cheerful or angry or sad, depending on the kind of day they were having.
Today however, Logan was fully silent.
"Logan?"
He squinted again, this time at you, trying to figure out how to say what was on his mind.
"Lo, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong"
He took a deep breath before responding.
"So you know I'm a virgin, right?"
You, in fact, did not know that. You didn't think you were that close a friend, although you didn't exactly mind. It was just a bit sudden.
"What?!"
"Well technically I had sex once but it went really badly. And I haven't had any practice since, because I'm scared of picking up girls because I don't know what I'm doing and I'm an F1 driver so I'm supposed to be having loads of sex but imagine I'm really bad and it got out, it would be super embarrassing and I'd have to ask you, my friend, for an NDA about bad sex, which is just another level of weird and I'd hate for you to stop tal-"
"Logan!"
He stopped ranting and looked at you, obviously feeling rather vulnerable.
"Logan... have you just come into my office to tell me you're inexperienced at sex?"
He pursed his lips and frowned.
"Yes"
"Okay.... why?"
"Because I want you to teach me how to pleasure a woman"
He looked you straight in the eyes, with way too much confidence for someone who was suddenly eligible for a lawsuit.
You raised your eyebrows at him. "Logan, couldn't have waited until... oh I don't know, until we weren't in our workplace to ask me for sex?"
"Um... I guess?" He had the audacity to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry if I read this wrong. Do you uhh- not want to?"
You studied him for a second. What the fuck. It wasn't that the idea was unappealing, he was an attractive young driver with probably incredible stamina. Which is why you found the idea of him being inexperienced so odd. And why was he asking you for... guidance? A lesson? It was weird to think of him as anything other than your friend slash coworker Logan, who you had now known for nearly two years.
If someone had told you this morning that this is how your day was going to go, you would have told them to fuck off and gone back to sleep. You realised you must be taking too long to respond when Logan sighed and rubbed his face.
"Okay nevermind, I'm sorry I brought it up, we can just- pretend this conversation never happened"
He sounded almost sad as he got up to leave but stopped as you blurted out "No, wait!"
He stared at you questioningly.
"I'll do it" You sounded breathless "I'll teach you- how to do uhh... sex. With me."
His eyes lit up as he laughed "I hope you'll be more articulate than that "
"Oh fuck off" you hit his shoulder in retaliation "You're the one who looked like you were going to shit a brick when you walked in here!"
"Hey! That's a low blow" He pouted.
The atmosphere became more comfortable with the bickering but there was still an undercurrent of nervousness. He took a couple of steps towards you and leaned in but you stopped him with a hand on his unsurprisingly firm chest.
"You want to do this now?" You hissed "Are you fucking mental?"
He pouted again "why not, the bosses aren't here today, it's just us, and the engineers are working on the cars" He wiggled his eyebrows.
Well when you put it that way....
Fuck's sake.
You leaned in slowly, as if aiming for his mouth before swerving at the last second and pecked him on the cheek before whispering in his ear. "Lock the door for me will you, darling?"
His eyes darkened "Yes ma'am" and he turned away to lock the door.
You sat down on the sofa and spread your legs, beckoning him over and silently motioning for him to kneel between them. He did so and put his hands on your thighs, then looked up at you expectantly.
Oh, right. You were supposed to be teaching him.
"Okay so first you're gonna want to get me naked"
He giggled at your obvious statement before hooking his fingers into your waistband. "Sure thing, princess" Pulling them down and off, underwear soon following as he let out a breath, eyes and hands roaming over your newly exposed skin. "Shit, you're already so wet." He looked up at you again.
"Can I?" He asked.
So polite.
"Be my guest" you smiled at him as he lowered his body. He kissed the inside of your thighs, slowly inching towards where you needed him most. When he got there, you let out a strained half-sigh half-moan as he licked a stripe from your taint to your clit. The noise made him look up as he licked his lips, eye contact making you shiver. He then spread your thighs further and immediately buried his face between them like man starved, making a valiant effort to find your clit with his tongue.
"A bit lower- lower- a bit right. Wait no, your right"
He followed your instructions dilligently and when he found it, he sucked on your clit with fervour, which made you gasp and let out a shaky moan. "There, right there." as your right hand weaved itself into his hair.
Eyes on yours, he blinked up at you and you nodded to tell him he was doing a good job. Satisfied, he carried on, closing his eyes in concentration.
You grabbed one of his hands and started licking at his fingers, it startled him a bit and he looked back up at you, still surprisingly efficient with his mouth. The sight was absolutely sinful, blonde hair a mess, eyes blown wide, tongue out, working over your flesh. When you sucked one of his fingers into your mouth, straight down to the knuckle, he groaned, the vibrations making your hips twitch. You slid a second finger into your mouth, then a third, ensuring they were nice and wet, then pulled them out. "You can start putting them inside now".
He put the first one in, reaching so much deeper than you could manage on your own, all the while still lapping at your clit. You were so wet it didn't take long for a second one to join as he pushed them in and out gently.
"Okay now sort of hook them upwards" you showed him the movement with your own hand and he nodded, hooking his fingers and it felt so good you moaned quite loudly, hoping none of the engineers would be passing by your part of the building. He put a third finger in and the stretch was delicious as he pressed upwards again and flattened his tongue over your clit.
You could slowly feel an orgasm building and he felt you clench around his fingers, going slightly faster with both his hand and mouth.
"Oh god whatever you do, do not stop!" You panted above him as he used his other hand to hook a leg over his shoulder and he sat up a bit, changing your position slightly and making his fingers hit even deeper inside you.
"Fuck!" You clenched around his fingers as you came hard and he slowed down, helping you ride it out for a while before you had to physically push him off because he wanted to seemingly carry on forever.
"Geez Lo, give a girl a minute, yeah?" You laughed, a bit out of breath. You felt boneless as Logan started kissing his way up your body and finally sealed his mouth over yours. His face was sticky, and your hands went to his hair and pulled on it, making him groan into the kiss. You pulled his head back and he whined, his hips bucking against the sofa, searching for some relief. You lifted an eyebrow at him.
"Please" he panted. You glanced down.
"Need some help down there, soldier?"
He grinned, lopsided. "Sargeant, actually"
Oh yes, you were going to have some fun with this one.
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sourbinnie · 1 year
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☆ hit me where it hurts.mp3 ☆
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ¡! ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> maknae line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> sometimes things shouldn't be said (or thought) but the words slip right out of his mouth at the worst time. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> arguments ; the boys being a little mean but instantly regretting it ; cursing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
hyung line
a/n: here's the maknae line version! we'll see if i can write a second part but i'm debating where i should double down on the sadness or make them have a happy ending
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jisung ✉
you didn't know what shocked you more, his calm nature in argument isn't something odd but he never let it get out of hand. today he did unfortunately and it started a screaming match in your shared apartment about god knows what. like a competition to see who could hurt the other worse and guess who won? yeah not you, you won the tears that couldn't stop streaming as you remembered.
"fuck (y/n) were you always this bad? they didn't make my life this difficult." and if you were making his life so difficult then you were gonna walk out of the scene of the crime. "no, i didn't mean that. i don't know what came over me, it was just the heat of the moment. please don't fucking leave-."
"so you can keep on screaming at me? yeah no thanks, i'm going." it wasn't even the screaming that got to you, jisung could be loud and you never cared. but it felt like poison the fact that he compared you to someone he himself broke up with. "just stay away from me jisung, i can't even look at you right now."
"don't say that. i know i fucked up but i can fix it, i promise i can fix it!" he insisted but you couldn't believe a single word coming out of his mouth as you grabbed your things to leave. "baby please, i know it wasn't okay but i can't bear seeing you like this, at least promise me you'll come back?"
"i'm gonna be honest. i don't know if i will." you said and the last thing you remembered was the sadness on his face turning into pure horror and fear that you were gonna leave him forever. you couldn't even make a decision right now as you had so much in your own mind that it was getting worse & worse. as much as you loved jisung, people say things because they truly mean them right? and maybe you two were not meant for each other as you thought you were.
felix ✉
getting ignored by felix meant something was wrong and that you were in deep trouble. it got you thinking about your previous fights with him and how you handled them. you usually talked things out and told each other what you felt when he got like this but right now it seemed impossible as he dodged you every time you got close to him even though he was the one who invited you a few days ago to the dorms tonight. the tension could be caught with a knife and all the boys felt it so most of them decided to leave before it got bad except chan who looked at you two carefully and tried to figure out what was going on.
"lix can you talk to me? i don't know what's going on or why you're so distant but i would like to work things out." you said as you got close to him and sat down but he just pretended like you weren't there. it felt so weird to be so distant with the person you love the most and it deeply hurt but nothing scarred like what he said.
"can't you get a hint? i don't wanna be near you right now. god i don't know why i broke up with them, they're not awfully clingy like you are." he muttered as he tried to walk away but i guess it hit him what he said and turned around to look at me. i couldn't even cry, i was just going through my mind trying to handle everything he said at once and figuring out that i should probably leave. "baby no i'm sorry, please at least stay here so you don't have to walk in the middle of the night."
"there's no way i'm staying close to you today." even if it hurt him, nothing was gonna be as bad as what he said to me and he would have to deal with that. "please let me go felix."
"felix, i'll walk them home and we'll talk when i get back." chan said and i could see the hesitation on felix's eyes but he eventually did let go of my wrist and i could finally leave. i couldn't help the tears that were flowing as i got out of the building and tried not to make a fool of myself in front of chan but he was like an older brother to me so as soon as he offered me a hug, i gave in and let go.
seungmin ✉
you weren't sure how to handle things with seungmin when he got in a bad mood. it's like you two didn't even know where to begin discussing the things that made you both upset and talking it out like normal people. it always led to a fight about who’s right and who's wrong and not about how you two exactly felt. it also led to him using some insecurities against you this time which you were not having it. 
"listen (y/n) i don't know what you want from me but i'm done arguing." he said and you sighed, you were glad that everything was finally over between the two of you. "if i knew it was gonna lead to this, i would've stayed with them and never asked you out."
felt like a cold bucket of water dropped on you and it made you want to leave immediately but you froze. trying to process if it was real that your seungmin felt that way about you and your relationship, meaningless like it was nothing at all. it took all the strength left in you to get up and head to your shared bedroom to lock the door and not say anything else. as soon as realization hit him and what he said, he was on the other side knocking.
"i'm sorry i don't know what came over me. i promise i'll be better, please let me see you? i can't stand the fact that you're alone and suffering right now." he said but the sobs were uncontrollable and choking up on tears was so disheartening. "baby please, i won't leave this side until we talk it out. (y/n) i love you..."
"i love you too but please leave me alone for now will you?" you said even if all you wanted was a hug right now, you weren't sure you wanted one from someone who felt that way towards you. you could hear the footsteps getting further and further as you held onto your knees tight and buried your head, trying to make the tears stop.
jeongin ✉
it felt so weird to argue with jeongin. it was one of his first relationships and he still didn't know how to express himself without hurting you and sometimes he didn't know how to handle the tears that came after the hurtful words. he felt like crying himself most of the time he saw you cry and it wasn't easy to calm each other down if both of you were in a bad state emotionally. this time he did let the anger get the best of him and he dived right into the meaningless words that you would hear in a fight, well they were meaningless to him but to you? not so much.
"jesus fucking christ (y/n). i don't know what you want from me anymore, you're making such a fuss and i know they would never do this shit. i don't know why i'm with you." it was too late to regret anything as he looked at you, with shock in his eyes that he even muttered that. 
"if you feel that way then i should get going." you said as you bit your lip and tried to hold back from the break down that you were about to have. "i don't know what i expected but for you to talk to me that way? i didn't see it coming."
"(y/n) love, i'm so fucking sorry. please don't leave me." he said and yes the tears were flowing from his eyes and yes you did feel horrible about it seeing him like this. but it was his fault and to grow from it he would have to deal with hurting you as you walked in the direction of the front door and he chased after you. "please, i'll do anything but please don't go."
"if you wanna do something then understand i need some time away from you right now. goodbye jeongin, we'll talk later." you said and closed the door before he could follow you. a sigh and a tear came out of your body as you looked up and hoped that you two could mend things but it was all up to you at this point. and it hurt to know that he felt in a way you would've never even dream of feeling.
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tan1shere · 6 months
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Changes pt 2
Ellie Williams x female reader !
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A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!
Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?
Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)
Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !
A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.
You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.
Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.
She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.
But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.
"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.
You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.
She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.
You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.
She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.
But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."
She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.
It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.
"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.
"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.
-Hey, you busy tonight?
Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.
-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.
-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?
-bring a book! 🤓
-holding one right now 📖
You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.
After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.
"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.
But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."
Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.
But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.
"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."
Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.
More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.
She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.
Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"
You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.
It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.
You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."
The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.
People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.
The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.
All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.
After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"
He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.
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