#I don't know mate

[femmescripter]

The Maxley/Trigun/Duck Tales(2017)/Darkwing Duck Crossover that none of You Asked For or Thought Of...

But by golly you're gonna get it anyway! I can't preface this amalgamation of fanfic 🥃💃🏽🦊(whiskey, tango, foxtrot for those who couldn't decipher the emojis) any other way besides what happens when you're stressed as Hell, in your early 30's, working through a blur of college assignments and listening to 2000's era pop music and nerdcore raps to keep from hitting the ceiling. So just listen to me! ___ Bradley Uppercrust the 3rd. Businessman. Beloved son of two wealthy, esteemed parents. Heir to the Uppercrust Shipping conglomerate.

Maximilian "Max" Goof. Professional extreme sports athlete and part-time research assistant. The dear, only son of a retired actor and widowed single father. Goes wherever the wind takes him.

Based on these descriptors - they have nothing in common. But they do share one thing. The lab in which they were created in. You see, neither Max nor Bradley are normal anthros. They're actually the products of the Hybrid Anthropomorphic Reproduction Via Ecological Splicing Technology, or H.A.R.V.E.S.T for short, program. This program was the brainchild of botanist Reginald Bushroot. He wanted to create an alternative for people who wanted to have their own children but were unable to do so naturally or didn't want to go through the hassle of adoption. And in the case of Bradman Uppercrust and Eloise Uppercrust, who were investors of the research and development department of the laboratory where Reginald worked at, they were an unfortunate pair who couldn't conceive children of their own. And so, after choosing an orchid as it was their favorite flower and splicing it with their DNA, Bradley was "born". As for Max, he was more or less made on a whim. Reginald's assistant happened to be Vanessa Goof, who was freshly married to the still acting G. G. Goofy Goof. And after the successful "birth" of the first hybrid Reginald wanted to try at making another child - but no one else seemed keen on providing raw materials. Both curious and wanting to ensure that she and her husband could have a child, Vanessa volunteered hers and Goofy's DNA. And the flower she picked was the lily. Shortly after that Max was brought into the world - the second successful H.A.R.V.E.S.T "birth". It seemed like Reginald's research was on the fast track to becoming a phenomenon in fertility.

Sadly a horrific fire at the laboratory would go on to not only destroy decades worth of research on the H.A.R.V.E.S.T program and make it unable to be recreated, but it would also claim the life of Reginald Bushroot. So much so that his body was never found. That was ten years ago. Now, years later, Max and Bradley are young adults living their lives. They're completely unaware of each other and their respective parents have told their children that they're not the same as other anthros. However, one news announcement will soon bring the hybrid canines together. Over the past week there's been a series of gruesome incidents where anthros have been drained to husks, and all of the victims have one thing in common. They have strange, vine like patterns around on their necks. As if someone had inserted an odd cable of some sort into their bodies. Upon seeing this news coverage from their own parts of town Bradley and Max immediately recognize the markings shown from the pictures taken from the body of the latest statistic. It's the mark of a siphoning vine that they themselves would use on occasion when they want to consume fluids without needing to use their mouths, and just have to use their secreted vines. But that would mean that there's another H.A.R.V.E.S.T anthro. That's when Bradman and Eloise tell Bradley about Max, and Goofy likewise tells his son about the first hybrid anthro.

From there Max and Bradley arrange to meet face to face, and they come to like what they see in each other. After talking for a bit, it's clear that neither of them had anything to do with the attacks. Which leaves only one other possibility, slim as it may be. There's a third hybrid anthro on a rampage. Now Bradley and Max have to utilize their respective talents both from their canine halves and their plant halves in order to combat this threat that's taken root. But they're not alone in their endeavors. Max's cousins Huey, Dewey and Louie along with their Uncle Scrooge are more than willing to provide their assistance. And Bradley is not without connections of his own. One such being Mallard Drake, the unassuming man beneath the mask of Darkwing Duck. During all this a romance between Max and Bradley starts to blossom.

[ailithnight]

Hope you don't mind me adding to this.

.

Red Hood is the first to come around.

Not terribly surprising. He at least had a helmet to absorb some of the hit.

Still, getting knocked out by a metal bat when he already had a mild concussion does not make for a pleasant morning. The various other bruises where the bat hit before finding his head do not help.

All in all, Jason finds himself returning to consciousness with a pained groan. Blinking open bleary eyes to squint a glare at the familiar bland ceiling of medbay in the cave. At least someone was merciful enough to turn the lights down. Just the thought of having to deal with bright ass flourescents with the current state of his head draws another pained groan past Jason's lips.

Someone to his side stifles a snicker so Jason sits up and turns his glare on a gleeful looking Red Robin.

"The fuck you giggling about, Replacement?"

Tim stifles another laugh but doesn't bother trying to hide his mirth as he stage whispers, "You both got taken out by a TWINK."

At the same time Jason wonders "Both?" another pained groaned brings his attention to the other side of the room where Nightwing half sits up before letting out another groan and dramatically collapsing back onto the cot that had been brought in to supplement medbay's lone bed, slinging his arm across his face.

"What kind of twink swings a bat like a bear?" Dick mumbles around his elbow.

"Apparently, the kind in my film class." Tim doesn't even bother to stage whispers now that both patients are awake.

"The fuck you on about? And why are you so God damn happy? In case you hadn't realized, someone was in my fucking apartment and knocked out both me and Nightwing!" Jason is admittedly confused.

Some jackass with a pipe managed to get a lucky hit in at the end of patrol, forcing Hood to stumble back to his safe house with a mild concussion where he had expected to find Dickwing working on the case they were supposed to go over.

Instead, there's some scrawny fucker walking out of the kitchen with a glass of water. Apparent twink shrieks in pitches only dogs should hear which makes Jason's head pulse and the room spin out of focus. Next thing he knows there's a silver bat raining bloody violence on his already battered body. 3, 4, 5 hits in and the bat makes contact with the top of his head and it's lights out for Red Hood.

So why is Replacement acting so jovial? Why does Dickiebird sound frustrated instead of worried? Mild concussion or no, anyone who can break into Red Hood's safe house and beat him unconscious with bat is not a threat to be taken lightly. Green starts to tint Jason's vision at his so called family's apparent lack of concern.

Tim gives Jason an incredulous look that only makes the pit boil hotter. It's Dick's next sentence that manages to freeze the rage.

"Wasn't your apartment, Little Wing."

"What."

Dick finally sits up with a shrug. "Wasn't your apartment. I was in your apartment with the case. Then I heard a commotion from your neighbor next door. He was pretty panicked about having beaten Red Hood with something he called 'The Creep Stick'."

Jason stares at Dick like he'd grown a third head, mind trying to work overtime despite the concussion still making thoughts hurt. "Who the fuck was next door?"

Tim decides this is a safe moment to pipe back in with somewhat more restrained glee. "That would be Danny. Daniel Nightengale. One of my classmates and friend who fortunately decided to call me about the 2 vigilantes that he knocked out when they broke into his apartment."

Jason narrows his eyes at Tim as he finally speaks the sentence that knocks the damnable giddiness out of the room.

"I own both apartments on either side of me so that no one hears Red Hood through those thin ass walls. There shouldn't be a Danny Nightengale living next door to me."

.

Dun dun duuuuunnnnnn.

this is a sequel to this.

The hoodlums and nightlings: @skulld3mort-1fan, @satanicrutialspecialist, @terzatheunderscorerima, @autumnwulf, @jaggedheart11, @froartuck,

Danny is panicking.

Keep reading

[vaxxman]

"STOP TAKING THE HEALTH KITS"

He ubered the scout after this.

Additional sketches and some ramblings under the cut.

This is based on an encounter I had the other day, when a demoman took a medkit before my medigun connected with him. When he saw my health was down to 21, he would force me to stand at the spawn point and guarded me until I was healed. Wherever you are now, if you read this, you were a good lad and I love you.

Sometimes I think about how medic is emotionally very invested in the missions (which shows in his voice when he shouts at his team), but off-duty and during friendly taunts he seems to be among the most giggly, and fun-loving mercenaries in the team. I like to think he can get agitated very fast, but cools down just as quickly.

[erial-c]

darlin driving the mates separately and guarding the hallway so that the couples won't see each other before the ceremony is still so funny . out of all people it's darlin who wanted to follow this tradition, or at least is the most serious about it

[beanghostprincess]

zolu is a very asexual couple in the sense that they do have sex and are attracted to each other but their attraction doesn't come from the arousal of seeing each other's bodies sexually. it comes from possessiveness and passion and the privilege of worshipping the other to the point of needing to touch and pleasure each other. their relationship goes so beyond love and sex that their way of making love is indescribable. they need each other emotionally and physically in every way.

[cfffrk]

[astersofthesky]

The anime is still insane for this ending because what do you mean Light only WILLINGLY AND EVEN CALMLY closes his eyes after seeing his enemy/rival/equal's "ghost"???

[prismaticsaltedink]

Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.

I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.

The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.

Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.

So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.

[jumpingbellara]

With the description of Davrin coming out, I'm fearing that this will be an excuse for a certain subset of DA fans to trash him. I haven't even met him and I'm fiercely protective of him.

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

Dazai leans over the edge, a strong gust of wind is all it would take to push him over, to send him falling to his sweet, ultimate demise.

Chuuya grabs his arm in a strong grip- but he doesn't pull Dazai away from the edge. Chuuya looks Dazai straight in his eyes. Bright blue eyes meet Dazai's and he says in a firm voice,

"If you jump, you'll kill both of us."

And it's clear, right then, how deeply Chuuya trusts Dazai.

And Dazai doesn't jump.

[separatist-apologist]

Feyre: Rhysand is my mate and I'm telling you this to your face.

Also Feyre: If you try and break my mating bond, I'm going to ruin your life.

Also Feyre: If you drag me back to Spring against my will, I'll destroy everything you love.

Tamlin: Break her mating bond so I can drag her back to Spring and we can start over.

Also Tamlin: I can't believe you destroyed everything I love and ruined my life!

[jeff-the-accountant]

ekhm.

[rin-u-pos]

I think Rhys uses the mating bond as an excuse to act like a possessive, aggressive horny dick. After Feyre accepts the mating bond, Rhys acts like an animal. Constantly wanting to fuck her and would probably kill anyone who looks at her for too long. Then there's Cassian x Nesta. Cassian can't keep it in his pants, but he doesn't display the aggression towards anyone who wants to harm Nesta. He treats every other chick in his life better than his own mate.

Another example is Kallius x Vivianne. They've been mated for less than a year by the time the high lords meeting occurs, but he seems so chill. And finally, Lucien x Elain. He seems to be coping quite well with Elain's refusal to see him. I'm sure he suspects about Az x Elain. But Lucien gives her space and is respectful towards Azriel. Lucien should be driven mad by the bond, but he keeps himself busy and tries to move on.

I know you can argue about Rhysand letting Feyre marry Tamlin, but the beginning of ACOMAF can be reinterpreted as Rhysand inserting himself into Feyre's relationship during a difficult period.

[cuddlytogas]

there was some Twitter madness recently where someone left a comment on someone's art to the effect of, "Ed shouldn't wear a dress, he's a man!" which I do disagree with on principle, but unfortunately, it brought out one of my least favourite trends in the fandom

so, naturally, I had to write a twitter essay about it. and I already largely argued this in a post here, but the thread is clearer and better structured, so I thought I'd cross-post for those not on the Hellsite (derogatory). edited for formatting/structure's sake, since I no longer have to keep to tweet lengths, and incorporating a couple of points other people brought up in the replies

so

I want to point out that the wedding cake toppers in OFMD s2 aren't evidence that Ed wants to wear dresses. Gender is fake, men can wear skirts, play with these dolls how you like, but it's not canon, and that scene especially Doesn't Mean That.

People cite it often: 'He put himself in a dress by painting the bride as himself! It's what he wants!' But that fundamentally misunderstands the scene, and the series' framing of weddings as a whole. I'd argue that Ed paints the figure not from desire, but from self-hatred; it's not what he wants, but what he thinks he should, and has failed to, be.

(Yes, I am slightly biased by my rampant anti-marriage opinions, but bear with me here, because it is relevant to the interpretation of the scene, and season two as a whole.)

The show is not subtle. It keeps telling us that the institution of marriage is a prison that suffocates everyone involved. Ed's parents' cycle of abuse is passed to their son in both the violence he witnesses then enacts on his father, and the self-repression his mother teaches, despite her good intentions ("It's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. ... We're just not those kind of people. We never will be."). Stede and Mary are both oppressed by their arranged marriage, with 1x04 blunty titled Discomfort in a Married State. The Barbados widows revel in their freedom ("We're alive. They're dead. Now is your time").

But even without this context, the particular wedding crashed in 2x01 is COMICALLY evil. The scene is introduced with this speech from the priest:

"The natural condition of humanity is base and vile. It is the obligation of people of standing ... to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony."

It's upper class, all-white, and religiously sanctioned. "Vile natural conditions" include queerness, sexual freedom, and family structures outside the cisheteropatriarchal capitalist unit. "The obligation of people of standing" invokes ideas like the white man's burden, innate class hierarchy, religious missions, and conversion therapy. Matrimony is presented as both "sacred" (endorsed by the ruling religious body), and a "transaction" (business performed to transfer property and people-as-property, regardless of their desires), a tool of the oppressive society that pirates escape and destroy. That is where the figurines come from.

When Ed, in a drunk, depressive spiral, paints himself onto the bride, he's not yearning for a pretty dress. He's sort of yearning for a wedding, but that's not framed as positive. What he's doing is projecting himself into an 'ideal' image of marriage because he believes that: a) that's what Stede (and everyone) wants; b) he can never live up to that ideal because he's unlovable and broken (brown, queer, lower-class, violent, abused, etc); c) that's why Stede left. He tries to make himself fit into the social ideal by painting himself onto the closest match - long-haired, partner to Stede/groom, but a demure, white woman, a frozen, porcelain miniature - because, if he could just shrink himself down and squeeze into that box, maybe Stede would love him and he'd live happily ever after. But he can't. So he won't.

The fantasy fails: Ed is morose, turns away from the figurines, then tips them into the sea, a lost cause. He knows he won't ever fulfil that bride's role, but he sees that as a failure in himself, not the role. It's not just that "Stede left, so Ed will never have a dream wedding and might as well die." Stede left when Ed was honest and vulnerable, "proving" what his trauma and depression tell him: there's one image of love (of personhood), and he'll never live up to it because he's fundamentally deficient. So he might as well die.

This hit me from my very first viewing. The scene is devastating, because Ed is wrong, and we know it! He doesn't need to change or reduce himself to fit an image and be accepted (as, eg, Izzy demanded). Stede knows and loves him exactly as he is; it's the main thread and theme of season two!

(@/everyonegetcake suggested that Ed's yearning in these scenes includes his broader desire for the vulnerability and safety Stede offered, literalised through unattainable "fine" things like the status of gentleman in s1, or the figurine's blue dress. I'd argue, though, that these scenes don't incorporate this beyond a general knowledge of Ed's character. Ed is always pining for both literal and emotional softness, but the significance of the figurines specifically, to both Ed and the audience, is poisoned by their origin and context: there is no positive fantasy in the bride figure, only Ed's perceived deficiency.

Further, assuming that a desire for vulnerability necessarily corresponds with an explicit desire for femininity, dresses, etc, kind of contradicts the major themes of the show. OFMD asserts that there is nothing wrong with men assuming femininity (through drag, self-care, nurturing, emotional vulnerability, etc), but also that many of these traits are, in fact, genderless, and should be available to men without affecting their perceived or actual masculinity. It thematically invokes the potential for cross-gender expression in Ed's desires, especially through the transgender echoes in his relieved disposal, then comfortable reincorporation, of the Blackbeard leathers/identity. It's a rich, valuable area of analysis and exploration. But it remains a suggestion, not a canon or on-screen trait.)

Importantly, the groom figure doesn't fit Stede, either. Not just in dress: it's stiff and formal, and marriage nearly killed him. He's shabbier now, yes, but also shedding his privilege and property, embracing his queerness, and trying to take responsibility for his community. In a s1 flashback, Stede hesitantly says, "I thought that, when I did marry, it could be for love," but he would never find love in marriage. Not just because he's gay, but because marriage in OFMD is an oppressive, transactional institution that precludes love altogether. All formal marriages in OFMD are loveless.

So, he becomes a pirate, where they reject society altogether and have matelotages instead. Lucius and Pete's "mateys" ceremony is shot and framed not like a wedding, but as an honest, personal bond, willingly conducted in community (in a circle; no presiding authority, procession, or transaction).

That is how Stede and Ed can find love, companionship, and happiness: by rejecting those figurines and their oppressive exchange of property, overseen by a church that enables colonialism and abuse. Ed is loved, and deserves happiness, as he is, no paint or projection required.

ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: draw Ed in dresses! Write him getting gender euphoria in skirts! Write trans/nb Ed, draw men being feminine! Gender is fake, the show invites exploration, that's what 'transformative works' means! But please, stop citing the cake toppers as evidence it's canon. Stop citing a scene where a depressed Māori man gets drunk and projects himself onto a rich, white, silent bride because he thinks he's innately unlovable and only people like her can find happiness, shortly before deciding to kill himself, as canon evidence it's what he wants.

(Also, please don't come in here with "lmao we're just having fun," I know, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm an academiapilled researchmaxxer, and some of youse need to remember that the word "canon" has meaning. NOW GO HAVE FUN PUTTING THAT MAN IN A PRETTY DRESS!! 💖💖)

[mydearchoso]

NSFW, MDFI, umm freaky? (a little uh, violent. blood mention. pain. you get it.)

w/c: uhh short. 400 words?? (total guess)

maybe i'm too far gone but...

sukuna who doesn't need love, or want it.

at least, its what he tells himself of course. it's what he had always thought.

up until the fifth time you laid together, feelings evolving on either end, but only one of you would maybe accept them.

and sukuna, the poor, unwanted child he is, he doesn't believe in love. no. love is a thing parents came up with to keep their children docile and complacent. love doesn't exist, and even if it did, it would hurt.

so imagine the surprise both of you face on this fifth night.

you, in pain, adrenaline starting to course through you as fresh blood and cum leaks from your stuffed hole.

sukuna, in shock, as his eyes wander, finally landing on where the both of you are connected. chest heaving at the sight of blood and a heavy, exhilarated breath pours from his lips. the hot air dispersing across your stomach.

in a small, experimental pull, he tries backing out, gently. only to be met by your cries as the barbs on his cock hook themselves deeper into the velvet walls he had so thoroughly ravaged.

it was in this moment he realized he didn't love you, no, but he did need you. your body. perhaps your annoying quip every now and then. his heart knew that, and now even his body did, long before he came to realize it himself.

and now? now you could never leave, solely his to enjoy at his own leisure.

at least, up until he got bored of you, but he suspects his body will be sure to let him know if that ever becomes the case.

then after a quiet, introspective moment on his part, he sighs almost happily before leaning forward. eyes closed as he rests fully atop you, content, pressing his face to your neck as he listens to the sound of your shallow breaths.

[fisheito]

emotional support wolf meets too-shy-to-live sneetah