#I don't know if I made my point very clear..

[thetadispatcher]

Peter frowned a bit at Willow's remark, but he decided not to ask for an explanation of what she thought was so easy just in case it wasn't directed at him specifically.

"Deviants have the same issue, if they get too stressed they'll self destruct... Not like explode, but bash their own brains in on whatever they can find. So far Vincent is the only one I've seen hit one hundred percent stress and not self destruct, we theorize his fear of loud noises overrides the self destruct protocol." He still had yet to find what the cause of self destructing was, as it was hard to find out what goes on during the event when the android effectively destroys the one thing that would hold the answer. And he didn't want to trigger it in a monitored android, it was too risky as he had no way to stop it once it began.

"But I understand the importance of keeping this from getting out, so don't worry about that." He knew it wouldn't lead to anything good if other found out about the existence of human brains in a digital format, and he didn't want to be asked about it as he wouldn't be able to provide any kind of suitable answer.

"And I don't really care to know why you have digital copies of human brains, something tells me the reason isn't something I would like to know." If someone had felt the need to do such a thing, and if the people the scans belonged to were no longer around, he had a feeling something terrible had happened. And he really didn't want to know what that something was, as Strasky's appearance made it clear just how terrible whatever had happened had been, and he didn't want to randomly start thinking about it.

Nines turned to look at them again when he heard his model mentioned, he had been listening as Brent hardly ever spoke well he was working so there wasn't much for him to do well he waited. "It is not the first time I've heard a threat on Kamski's life, nor will it likely be the last. Gavin makes them regularly, and I have heard androids say such things as well." He commented, hearing the creator of Cyberlife be issued death threats wasn't new to him, in fact he felt it was just a common thing to hear at that point in time.

"But if you must, try to not make it obvious it was you. I am a detective unit, so it would likely fall on me or my predecessor to solve it." Nines knew he shouldn't say such a thing, but after hearing stories from humans and androids alike of their experiences with the man he could care less what happened to him.

Peter looked away from Nines once he realized he was being spoken to again, answering with a small shrug. "He just kinda showed up and made himself at home. He hasn't done anything worth kicking him out for, and he seems to be friends with Vincent even if he refuses to admit it." Sure the android was rather odd and strange, but so were quite a few who also lived in the house, so it wasn't anything too surprising for Peter. And it was nice to see Vincent socializing with anyone that he wasn't initially forced to acclimate to, which felt like a good step in the right direction for the AP700 and he didn't want to risk compromising that. "Sure, he makes demands of me, but I promised never to make another android like Dan." And that wasn't a promise he planned to ever break as he trusted Dan to never hurt someone just because he had the ability to do so, and Dan would get upset if he broke it which he really didn't want.

Dan glanced at Peter before some movement out in the hall caught his attention, the movement being Sixty and a Jerry messing around with something he knew they shouldn't be. He carefully removed Peter from him before getting up and approaching the two, who quickly noticed him and took off. Dan gave chase as he saw they were still holding something they likely shouldn't have.

Nines watched the scene looking mildly amused to witness the PL600 have to chase down androids behaving like children. Peter seemed indifferent as it was a very normal occurrence to him, he was already looking at the pictures Strasky was showing to him on the Omnitool well listening to him explain the role of each person so he'd know how to build the custom units.

"That would be the RK800 that was mentioned earlier and a EM400, a hivemind android. EM400 are naturally child-like as they are used at amusement parks, and now some are finding other ways to entertain themselves like what was just seen." Nines explained as Peter was busy jotting down notes and getting the photos he needed from Strasky to explain the function of an EM400, and why one would be following around Sixty. "They call themselves Jerry, and as of right now there are only two present on the property. The other is likely with Ralph, a damaged WR600, to keep him from getting into any danger."

Whatever joke Rook had planned to make was set aside as she eyed the two. She obviously saw nothing wrong with hanging out with alternative versions of herself. It was kind of like meeting a distant cousin, expect they were unlikely to disappoint like most relatives do. Even Bishop had little to complain about his. They both acted the way one would expect from the likes of him.

Really, it was his fault for being an asshole. She glanced at the agent, then turned to Nines. It didn't seem like a smart idea to make android cops, but that world didn't exactly shine for its bright ideas.

"Oh, you have it so easy around here." Willow scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Those engrams have a tendency to destabilize. I'd prefer to resolve any compatibility issues myself. Whatever funding you may need, consider it covered. Again, feel free not to question the source. Not every corner of the world is as content with the existence of digital beings, it'd save me some extra work."

"You should consider moving here." Bishop suggested, a faint grin on his face. He found the concept of adopting androids amusing. Some people truly went through great lengths to find humanity in everything.

Not that he cared to understand it when he hardly contemplated showing basic decency towards the aliens he had captured.

"Having to share the planet with Kamski is miserable enough. I have no intention of moving any closer."

"What about your plans to murder him?"

"Please, do not quote me in the presence of the RK900."

"Oh, he really wants a katana up his ass." Rook mused, before turning to Peter, "I think it's cool that you've got brothers. What I don't get is why you're keeping the Bishop shaped one around."

[chronicsyd]

I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"

shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.

The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.

"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.

I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.

What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.

Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?

But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...

(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)

[anxiousapplepie]

Do you think any of the siffrins have the same touch miscommunication of everyone in the party thinking they don't like touch but they actually really like touch?

I feel like it would be amusing to drag the siffrins through the mud this way regardless of how different they are. With perhaps the only exception being housemaiden siffrin? Like flinching due to touch is something that isn't easily changed, so the potential is there.

You could even argue housemaiden siffrins case though it would be harder with him being an unconscious cuddle bug. but like if you ingrained the "people think you are gross to touch" early enough you could pull it off. As he would pull away first in the hopes of in part sparing his own feelings and mostly sparing the others having to touch him.

(I know I'm reaching at this point) you could have it be as he made his travels though various houses people noted his reaction to touch and he noted there reaction to touching him, how it would start strong in a new house before tapering off the longer he stayed, until eventually people would just not touch him unless absolutely nessicary and even in those cases hesitate, after all there isn't a lot you can say to someone with a very small grasp on the language you speak so actions would speak the thousand words they can't communicate and both would leave off with the wrong idea.

HEHEHE you bet I'm still gonna play with Siffrin's touch miscommunication in all the roleswap AUs because good grief it's too much fun to ignore! But every AU is gonna have a different way of handling it, I think! Fighter!Siffrin clears up the "I like touch! I'm just not used to it!" VERY quickly because they were the first teammate Housemaiden!Bonnie got. And Bonnie clicked that he just needed a lil warning like Nille, and they taught everybody to give Sif the heads up before any touchy-touchy happens. Researcher!Siffrin's cloak is so thick and heavy that normally bumping into them doesn't bother them- but without the cloak they forget how jumpy they can be. They clear up the confusion before they reach Dormont, though (was it awkward and embarrassing for them to admit they weren't used to skin-to-skin contact? you betcha! <3) Cook!Siffrin is the closest to OG Siffrin- everybody make assumptions and they had no idea everybody was treating them like a scared animal that didn't want to be touched. Traveler!Mira will fix that mistake when she's in the timeloops. And for Housemaiden!Siffrin? hahahahaaaaaa my favorite awful goat child. He wants to be touched and hugged and held so badly all the time, but doesn't want to be annoying or greedy without a reason. Not even Mira understands how deep it goes, despite them being feeling buddies for years. Your musings are a VERY good take and grief it just makes me want to hug Sif because it's all too much and too little and GIMME THAT ANGST AND MISUNDERSTANDING!!!

[captainsophiestark]

Oblivious

Damon Salvatore x Reader

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Written for Fictober 2024! Requested by @elenavampire21 - hope you like it! Thanks for being patient while I got it done!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Day Thirty-One Prompt: "It's always been you."

Summary: You've always felt like the lowest priority out of everyone in the Mystic Falls group, but Damon disagrees.

Word Count: 1,905

Category: Fluff, light Angst

A/N: That's a wrap on Fictober baby! Woohoo! And Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I hummed to myself as I scanned my bookshelf, trying to decide which one to grab. Since moving into college at Whitmore, I'd mostly just brought my favorites, since I didn't have much book space to spare in my single dorm room. But bringing all of my favorites made it a little hard to decide what to read on any given day.

I'd just about made up my mind, actually reaching out to grab one when the door to my room went flying open, smashing into the opposite wall.

I whirled around, my fight or flight response kicking into overdrive as I tried to remember where the nearest stake was in my room. I'd been dragged into the supernatrual drama just by being tangental to a certain friend group in Mystic Falls, which meant I was on high alert for supernatural threats. This weekend in particular, everyone I knew was back in Mystic Falls for a visit and a party.

At least, they were supposed to be. As I whipped around towards the door, I came face to face with none other than Damon Salvatore.

My heart started a very annoying gymnastics routine. I'd had a crush on Damon for a long time, despite knowing all his supernatural secrets, but with Elena around he'd never bothered to give me the time of day. I'd made my peace with it, more or less, but suddenly finding him standing in the doorway of my room, his piercing blue eyes fixed absolutely on me, still sent my heart racing.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I demanded, fixing Damon with the fiercest glare I could muster. Probably not very fierce at the moment, but I did my best.

"You should really keep this locked," Damon drawled instead of answering me. I scowled as he closed the door behind him, then took a few steps closer to me.

"We're in a crowded student dorm hall. It's normally not a problem."

"Well, it's a problem now."

Damon grinned at me, making a point of flashing his fangs. My scowl deepened.

"Do you not have to be invited in to student housing?" I asked, trying to deflect and distract Damon from paying any attention to my heartbeat. His grin only widened.

"Nope. I've used that to my advantage many times."

I tried to keep a grimace off my face at that. I knew enough about Damon and his history to realize he was refering to past hookups as much as anything else. Not my favorite subject to get into with him.

I cleared my throat, trying to push the thoughts out of my mind. I met Damon's gaze again and raised an eyebrow, going for casual and just hoping I could kind of pull it off.

"Why are you here?" I said. "Aren't you supposed to be hosting a party in Mystic Falls?"

"Aren't you supposed to be at that party with me?" Damon asked, voice low as he took another few steps towards me. I let out a little huff and looked away.

"Believe it or not, I'm not in the mood to go running back home every weekend that I'm at college. I have work to do and people I want to spend time with this weekend, both of which require me to stay here."

Damon stepped even closer to me, getting in my space and moving to try to see my expression. When I continued to look away from him, he took my chin in his hand and turned me to face him. I scowled, but didn't pull away.

"I don't believe you."

"What do you mean 'you don't believe me'?"

"I mean, when you explained your reasoning to me just now, your heartbeat told me you were lying." I frowned, but Damon just leaned in a little closer, his grip still tight on my chin. "So why aren't you in Mystic Falls?"

I huffed and rolled my eyes, finally pulling back and out of his grip. He let me go, but took a few steps to follow me across the room as I walked away.

"I'm just sick of all the supernatural drama," I said. "It's been nice to be here, building something separate from which vampire we're trying to kill this week, or which werewolf is trying to kill us. I'm happy here, and I don't want to blow all that up by going home and finding myself in the middle of the supernatural drama again."

Damon hummed. Nothing I'd said was a lie, technically, so he couldn't call me out like he had earlier. I kept my back to him so he couldn't read it in my face either.

"I guess that's the truth," Damon said, his voice way too casual. "But I know you well enough to know it's not the whole truth."

I snorted, then whipped around to face Damon with a scowl.

"Why do you care? I gave you an explanation, and it's the truth, so it's all you're getting."

Damon shook his head as he stepped even closer to me.

"Not gonna work for me, sweetheart. I'm not leaving here without the whole truth."

"Why? Damon, seriously, why is this so important to you?"

"Because. Now are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to compel it out of you?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, but I just rolled my eyes.

"We both know I'm on vervain, so knock it off. Just go back to Mystic Falls. Flirt with Elena to mess with your brother, whatever! Just leave me alone!"

"I don't want to flirt with Elena," Damon said, taking another step towards me. His voice was low, and more serious than I usually heard it, as his eyes locked onto mine. "I want to flirt with you, no one else. It's always been you."

Everything about Damon's tone and body language told me he was serious, but I knew what a good actor he could be when he wanted to. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms and squaring my shoulders to face Damon.

"Oh please. It's always been Elena, from day one with you! And the handful of times it hasn't been Elena? It's been just about anybody else in our group besides me. Caroline, that reporter Andie, the vampire Rose who kidnapped Elena... hell, even Rebekah Mikaelson! But never once me, Day."

Damon's frown had deepend, and he actually looked a little wounded. He took another step closer, almost putting us chest to chest, and opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but I put up a hand to stop him before he could get a word out.

"It's fine, Damon. Seriously, it's not a crime for you to not reciprocate my feelings. And I'm not avoiding Mystic Falls all because of some one-sided crush. But, seriously. Bonnie, Caroline, and Elena were supposed to be in a triple together. Nobody even checked with me, if I might want to join them in a dorm, since we were all going to Whitmore. I know I got sucked into the group by accident and not really by friendship, but for fuck's sake, I've thrown myself headfirst into this world and trying to help you guys, and still, it's like I'm barely even present. So I decided to say screw it, and I've made a bunch of great friends here outside of all this vampire shit, and I'm happy with that. So just go back to your party and leave me alone. I'd say pass the message on, but I doubt if anybody else'll notice."

Damon's frown had been steadily deepening the whole time I'd been speaking, and now he looked truly upset. I'd confessed a little more to him in the heat of the moment than I'd been planning to, but my words were still true. Maybe it was time for a full break from the rest of the Mystic Falls gang, and maybe this was how I got it done.

"Are you... absolutely blind?" Damon demanded, reaching out to take my hands before I could stop him. "I'll admit, when I first met Elena, she looked so much like Katherine that I was a little hung up on her. But I got over her when I got over Katherine. All I've been doing since a few weeks after I met you is trying to flirt with you! You've always shut me down!"

"What? Damon, you're crazy-"

"I abandoned Ric at the bar to buy you a drink and play pool. I blew off Stefan to go to some stupid Mystic Falls festival with you. For god's sake, I even asked you on a date after your graduation!"

"No no no, that was playful flirting. And the date thing was to make Elena jealous!"

"The date thing was not to make Elena jealous!"

I laughed, mostly out of panic, shaking my head and stepping back from Damon. He didn't let me get far. He followed me across the room until my back hit the wall, and then stepped into my space again. I looked up at him with wide eyes, and I knew he could hear just how fast my heart was beating.

"Damon, come on. You're... you. If you'd had a thing for me for over a year, there's no way I wouldn't know about it!"

"That's what I kept telling myself," he muttered. The faintest possible smile made its way onto his face. "I'm actually a little relieved it turns out you're just oblivious."

I snorted, but my heart had picked up speed again, which honestly shouldn't have been possible. If Damon were lying... well, it didn't make sense for Damon to be lying. There was no reason for him to come all the way down here, especially while everyone else in our group was throwing a party at his house, all for a lie with no real motivation.

I searched Damon's face, this time without a scowl. He smirked back at me and let his gaze slowly, clearly wander down to my mouth. I laughed.

"You're serious, aren't you? You're telling the truth."

"Of course I'm telling the truth," he said. His voice was more sincere and serious than it had been since he'd walked into my room as the smirk on his face became more of a smile. Slowly, he let one hand wander down to rest on my waist. I bit my lip, considering for just a second, then surged forward and kissed him.

Damon wasted no time pushing me against the wall and kissing me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting myself get lost in the moment.

"Are you sure you don't want to go back to Mystic Falls?" I breathed between kisses as Damon moved along my neck and jaw. "You're missing a party in your own house."

"I'm sure. I hid all my good booze before I left. And I hate to rub it in, but..." Damon pulled back just enough to look me in the eye and let a predatory grin spread across his face. "I'm pretty happy you ended up in a single dorm room right now."

I laughed, something I honestly never thought I'd be able to do about the way I'd ended up in this single dorm room. Leave it to Damon to find a way to make it happen, despite the odds.

It'd taken a lot more drama and heartache than it should've to get here. Still, as Damon wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight to his chest, I got the distinct impression that it would be worth it.

****************

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[mysteryanimator]

Breaking down Castlevania Nocturne Season 01 - Episode 04 "Bedroom scene" (almost) shot by shot!

Breaking down episode 06 / Breaking down episode 08

(Word count 6.3k I am so sorry HAHAHA)

I was heavily considering not going through episode 04 mostly due to being in the public eye but I like talking about shows I enjoy, regardless if my writing is shitty or not. By the way, the title says almost go through this shot by shot only because there's a 30-image limit. This scene is LONG so I can't catch everything but I can catch most.

By the way, before we start, a massive huge thank you to the Nocturne people, i don't think they'd read this, but if they do, all the scenes are really well crafted and interweave soooo nicely to their next point of interaction. I would love to know everyone who worked on this section, but if not I do hope they hear my utmost thanks and applause from all the way from Australia.

(Actually, just everyone who worked on Nocturne take a standing ovation from me lol, the show actually changed my life lmao, but I digress)

To introduce people who may be reading my analyses for the first time:

I implore you to rewatch Nocturne after reading this and make your own thoughts because while this is an analysis, it also comes through my own lens. These are just my thoughts and by no means end-all-be-all!

These are just observations based on my special interest and study in the field of in media production and analysis (i haven't been in that field for a while but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things HAHAHA)! Despite all of that, this is for fun, which is why I will be writing a lot more casually, so please don't take this too seriously! This not only helps me out as a student to become aware of how stories are put together and, in turn, how to apply them and make my own, but it also allows me to impart that excitement to you! Shot choices matter, especially when you have only 8 episodes, a deadline, a budget, asset restrictions, and so on. It all has to count. Everything matters.

Passionate creatives care and there is more than "the curtain is blue just because." The times when things slip under the radar and are put there just because are mostly due to executive meddling, budget restrictions, and deadlines.

With that said, this is actually a lot more thicker than previous breakdowns, WHOOPS. So please feel free to read this in chunks, and I will warn you that my grammar is not the best so you might have to bear with me here! As a warning, I will be using the words like sex, genitalia, etc. I only mention the actual acts of sex when presented as a joke.

--

Why am I putting in this last close shot of Tera? It is important because the whole scene beforehand has us mentally prepared for a fight or something a lot more action-like. The walls behind Tera and Olrox's room are REALLY similar, therefore once we see this inn room, we make a split-second assumption we're jumping forward in time with the protagonist. A picture says a thousand words.

Right up until the Olrox and Mizrak scene, our protagonist and antagonists both have very distinct places of associations and visuals, which often give the audience clues about their roles. They're established immediately from episode 01 and don't divert that line, that is until inn room. You can argue the line waivers in the courtyard, but the distinction is made REALLY clear in this episode.

The main cast, aka our protagonists, their places of association are usually amongst nature and people. If they're inside buildings, it is small cramped space, very much lived in and not completely upkept BUT it is what makes them very human. Our antagonists are associated with grand buildings and detailed windows that almost touch the ceiling. Gold trimmings. Vibrant rich colours that could only be afforded by the rich. If not the massive chateau, we have larger-than-life catholic churches, with stone walls higher than the eye can see. Our antagonists are congregations and establishments. Our protagonists are individuals.

I'd love to put some examples but I've used up my image slots, which means I'm making you rewatch (jokingly you don't have to) Nocturne from ep1-ep4 making you really conscious of the backgrounds

We as an audience have already slotted Olrox with with high-class, even though we as an audience know there's more to him. Olrox is designed with visual cues of the antagonists. His clothes literally could be wallpaper for the chateau. Not only that, the way he stands and holds himself very much leans into some of the stereotypes and tropes of the upper class that are often shoved into the media we consume. Then Mizrak, we do not see Mizrak anywhere besides the church, just strictly following the commands of the Abbott. We as an audience already have preconceived notions about religion, especially catholicism in the real world. Also, we have an established view of how Castlevania goes about religious characters from the previous series. Mizrak appears to have no other purpose but to be one of the main antagonist's guards.

This is a subversion.

Subtly this is going to tell us there is so much more with Mizrak and Olrox, and how their values align more with the protagonists rather than the villains and antagonists of the show. However, since they already began as oppositions to Richter and co, they need to earn the trust of the audience first so then they become more likable whenever they do have to earn the trust of Richter and co. This is our first building block. A step towards trust towards us and a step towards trust between Mizrak and Olrox.

(The location of their private conversations is REALLY important because they also tell us a lot about the characters, but I'll save it for the ep 3 breakdown when I get to it)

The sequencing and length of these shots are really important for the first half of the bedroom scene because we have exposition to get through. The scene has to be set out very strong from the start BUT, it also has to ease us in because this is a drastic shift, not only visually with naked characters but also a shift on the audience's expectation of already established characters. This is why we need this window first. We need to ease into this bedroom scene, or else we're going to be way too distracted by what is about to be shown.

Going forward SOME of these will be gifs to help illustrate my point. After all this is an animation! This is really important to show you in motion.

This pan down, oh my god this pan down. Camera pans help to reveal new information off-camera or to showcase a shift in tone/perspective. Suffice it to say THAT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION and a new shift in tone. This long shot is here to help establish our setting more clearly, what characters we're following, and what is happening. What are we establishing here? Mizrak and Olrox had sex in an inn room, that's all this shot is. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, other than the fact Olrox is censoring his own and Mizrak's crotch but that's it. As simple as it is, it is extremely effective. Yet it's so pulled back and obscured by the flower we can't be completely certain which is why we need the midshot of them that follows after, which helps to continually ease us into the scene. It tells us so much with so little. Show, don't tell is not only a powerful tool in visual arts. It leaves the audience to their imagination and I'm pretty sure a lot of us can fill in the gaps (I see you writers, I've seen everything on AO3).

This a midshot of Mizrak blankly staring up at the ceiling. Then they both turn to each other before Mizrak leaves and Olrox watches. In silence.

It's simple.

It's straightforward.

It makes you throw your arms up and go "what the fuck is happening???" It works. We're easing into this scene which is what we need. We're distracted by our own shock. So we've gone from our establishing the bed to establishing in our faces that, yes, it is indeed Olrox and Mizrak and they are both naked. That yes, they had sex and that Mizrak decided to stay for the night. Reasons? No clue and it's not important plot-wise, we just need to wrap our heads around that it is THESE TWO. It needs to be simple.

The lack of dialogue gives us room to breathe and to think. This is why this shot feels and holds on for what feels like a long time, in silence.

It might've changed but last I recall on average, shots will hold for 2-3 seconds. This is due to preventing the audience loose interest because the unchanging visual stimuli (and let's be frank attention spans are shortening, therefore media will change to reflect that). HOWEVER, a shot length heavily depends on the context of the scene and what you're trying to specifically say with a single shot, therefore making it super short OR super long. This one shot is six seconds. It allows for the dramatics to be amped up and it allows us to get through our shock for a bit longer since we're only TWO SHOTS into this scene, and right after this we're jumping straight into exposition and their deeply intricate dynamic. This is out six seconds to scream our heads off in shock and laugh in disbelief before we get hit with Mizrak's existential crisis.

The silence and the simplicity of it all also strengthen their mysterious characterization that has been established in episodes 01-03. We never see how they got here OR the act itself. However, what is really telling of these characters is their lack of body language and facial expressions. From episodes 01-03, Mizrak and Olrox have been seen to be very reserved characters until their fight in the courtyard. Their last scene together was fighting, in a courtyard. Now we're seeing them, post-sex, with neutral expressions and body language? The lack of any answers, the lack of anything dynamic happening from this shot and the last shot makes the audience absolutely learn for an answer. We're now invested in this side plot. What got these two men to be in this vulnerable state? How do we get the answer? We sit, we wait, we watch that vulnerability get earned. Mutual vulnerability that is.

This gets into personal opinion here so feel free to skip, but I really really enjoy how we get absolutely no answer or visuals, which might be a strange take for someone who does of fan-anims and fanart of them coughcough. We as an audience can get through literally two images and understand they had sex. We don't need to be spoon-fed. Media is in my personal opinion is more fun to engage in where we get just enough to know what going on, but we can fill in the blanks ourselves. We can read between the lines. This is adult animation. This is not to say I'm opposed to an explicit scene with them later down the line, I just think this is a very good way to establish the dynamic they are going to have. It has me way more emotionally invested in these characters which I believe is far more important because it tells me we're in it for the long haul and we're going to see a relationship actually develop in real time, both their high points and pitfalls. Also, I personally feel this whole scene is building towards something we have yet to see. I do not believe this is the last time we will see them put in a situation like this due to the whole emotional weight of them being naked, but that's theory territory LOL. I'm so happy to be proven wrong though.

This long shot is slightly tilted up to help to censor genitalia but it is again a REALLY SHOCKING SHOT. I personally don't know any recent Western animated media that has done this, especially of a male couple. Even if there are some animated examples, this is not a very common thing, especially to this extreme.

Now we're actually getting into the meat of their actual discussions, knowledge, if you will.

By the way, the question Olrox is presenting, is already information everyone knows. Actually, a better word is presumed. We saw the abbot in episode 02. Olrox explicitly states it in episode 03, asking "Why is your abbot forging Night Creatures for the Vampire Messiah?" There's technically no reason to say this BUT for this scene, it works because we're still distracted visually. We still need to ease into this, much like how Olrox needs to ease himself into this conversation before getting what he wants truly. Mizrak's opinion.

This midshot of Mizrak's back is so much important then you think.

I can be wrong, but I feel like you're supposed to be half-distracted or get whiplash by Mizrak's back. Frankly, we're supposed to get major whiplash from these two characters naked for a moment. These characters are usually completely covered from the neck down. This also makes the conversation they're having to be put under a way different lens. If they were clothed for this entire scene, the emotional weight would almost be non-existent.

Nakedness/lack of clothes is vulnerability, especially for a knight. Especially for a guarded vampire. I will be talking A LOT about vulnerability, so I hope I don't wear out the word too much.

You can perceive this shot in two ways and I think both work in this scenario. It can showcase even when naked and vulnerable, his unwillingness to open up, unable to fully face his own truths, the truths Olrox lays out for him. Yet, you're also having your back to a vampire, a perceived threat, which is a very vulnerable position to be in. You can't see your opponent.

It shows Mizrak trusts Olrox physically, but not emotionally. Not yet. We're going to watch Olrox earn it and for Mizrak to reciprocate it back throughout the series. Also just in general, sex requires vulnerability, choice AND trust, therefore even the implication of sex, those meanings get slapped down onto these characters. It means that they have the means to trust, be vulnerable, and have a choice with each other physically, but emotionally, they're building up to that.

This medium shot will be the ONLY SHOT we get of Mizrak in his boxers. This is plainly in part of the fact he's hurriedly getting dressed BUT we need to see his hesitation, him slightly lowering his clothes, him actually listening to Olrox.

Olrox is right.

Though Olrox isn't here to converse about other people to Mizrak. He wants his opinion.

Close-up shot of Olrox!

Close-ups are used to make the facial expression of a character the main focus. It gives us clarity on the character's thoughts and feelings on a particular subject, even when lying it can already tell us a lot about a character in the moment. The character themselves are the sole focus of the shot, nothing else. The same goes for objects. This also means when you do the opposite and obscure the face...

(drum roll to the next shot)

This is a great close-up shot to cut to because this has Mizrak fully turn AWAY from Olrox, put on his armor, and paired with the line "I don't know what you're talking about." We're getting visual and audio confirmation that Mizrak does not want to acknowledge his own thoughts, in turn, he will not face Olrox and the audience.

He is actively putting his guard back up as soon as Olrox prods for his opinions. From episodes 01-04, all we have seen him do is be at the church and stand alongside Emmanuel, that's it. He is not a leader, a pillar of the community like the Abbot, he is a follower. A guard dog ( like Drolta Tzentes, though she has way more personal agency than Mizrak). He never voices his own opinion, his own thoughts. To do that would need you have the strength to be

VULNERABLE!

By this point in time, he's not fleshed to the same degree as most of the other characters. Richter gets the episode 01 prologue with Olrox being his main point of trauma. Tera gets her speaker backstory fleshed out along with establishing Drolta and Ezerbet's longstanding history. Annette and Edouard get a really well-established (btw beautifully done too oh my god) flashback as Annette recounts the past. While Maria has no flashbacks, her character gets to have her individual values and attitudes fleshed out due to her screen time and her connections to Richter and Tera.

Mizrak though?

Not much is known about him besides the church. We put this label on him simply due to what the show has given us, but through Olrox we're getting information out of him because clearly Olrox has seen there's more than meets the eye. Especially when Mizrak drops the line "when the world abandons you." Olrox's investment is also now our investment in discovering who Mizrak is.

Mizrak however, does not want to get personal feelings in the way of duty, a common trope in media for knights, soldiers, and religious people. So he shuts him out.

Multiple.

Times.

This shot pans up, moving Olrox from lying down, which is more casual to more structured sitting pose. Specific movement is IMPORTANT to capture, so instead of just cutting to another shot, you move the camera with it. There's a tone shift. We need to see him go from lounging to making a very direct statement. Mizrak is ignoring his question so Olrox has to be more blunt with his statement because he needs him to listen- so the camera and the his body language have to clearly state "I'm not joking or fucking around anymore, just listen."

What he says is absolute truth though, this is exactly what happens in episode 08. "They're revolutionaries, Father. We're here to crush them."

The stark difference here is crazy in this medium shot.

Mizrak. His head is purposely cut off, he's practically clothed, with his chain mail on. He's standing up and his posing is quite stiff with his hands almost balled into fists. You also might be thinking, why is his chest and boxers the only things we see???? It makes him appear so much more clothed up and, therefore a lot more guarded. Cutting off the face means we don't get to see his emotions, he's trying to ignore personal feelings on whether it's right or not.

Olrox on the other hand, is full body, we see his face, naked, and despite his very direct statement in the last shot, he still somewhat casually sitting. Olrox is STILL trying to get Mizrak to be vulnerable and trying to get HIS opinion.

Funnily enough, I've talked about this close up shot before in BOTH episode 06 and episode 08's breakdowns. However, I've never actually discussed this initial way Olrox approaches him.

Olrox again, prods at Mizrak and this time Mizrak does have to sit with that thought. "Do you think he's right?" "Are you sure this path is right?" He's asking if what Mizrak is doing is good. If the horrors committed are justifiable. Both the way their expressions tell us that Mizrak does not think it is, and Olrox KNOWS. This close-up is INTIMATE. We're getting deep into personal matters (well try)

Side profiles not only give an air of drama to a scene, but it usually means there's more to the bigger picture since we're not seeing a person's full face. We're deliberately only seeing one side of the picture.

This is a split-second shot and I've discussed it briefly in another breakdown, but now I can get to discuss it more in-depth now as it's own shot!

This is a top-down shot, putting these characters in a place of vulnerability and weakness. Olrox is put even lower than Mizrak in this shot, he's far smaller and takes up less space in this shot, therefore giving him less presence and less power. Episode 03 had established Olrox was the man (or should I say vampire) in control of the situation, hell, the shot just before this one had Olrox wrapping around Mizrak, again trying to get under his skin. Yet now he's suddenly placed the lowest in the power dynamic.

Not only this, the camera is packed in so tightly and close, it's practically suffocating. We have no visual room to breathe, almost like we're suffocated with the evil that prevails in the world and suffocated with the weight of the question "Are you sure this path is right?". Olrox's eyes are the only aspect we see of his face and Mizrak's eyes are the main focus of this shot.

And they both look horrifically sad. An emotion we have not seen either of these characters make.

This shot does not last long but it shifts the rest of the section completely, even when the moment of concern is gone. It lingers with us when dismissed because it does not match any other scene we've had thus far or what we have known of the characters.

This one specific close-up is very important because it comes back to us in episode 08 and episode 06.

It's the holding from behind and the very concerned look from behind. Mizrak only ends up mirroring ONE of the behaviors. It's the concerned look from behind in episode 06 (timestamp is 19:25). They're put at the same heights, both talking about the evils of the world. Tin foil hat here, Mizrak may end up doing the other behavior, holding from behind, in another season.

The weight of this shot is so heavy that it is treated so differently amongst all of the other shots in this entire interaction. It also holds on for much longer. It holds for 5 seconds. This is important. There are little character moments from Olrox, like how Olrox looks up at him and he holds onto Mizrak as long as he can before has has to let go and watch him walk away. Duty, before desire.

A moment that Olrox has to go through once again for episode 08.

In response to a line. "So we use our heads." Olrox jokingly goes "Or lose them."

This long shot is not only tilted up but it's on the slightest of angles as if to showcase how we're shifting the mood and tone of the scene. We are losing the gentleness and sincerity of the moment, back to the very conveniently placed knee to censor Olrox. We have Mizrak pulling up his pants. Whatever vulnerability they had, it's gone.

I don't think either of them wants to sit in the thought of their existential crisis because not only Mizrak is clearly going through one but Olrox is too. While I'm sure they were sitting with their own thoughts for a long while before meeting each other, it's only forced to be on the forefront and confronted after meeting each other.

So the "lose our heads" line ends up coming back around to where someone actually ends up losing their head in the same episode.

While first, it is very comical because I've seen so many people make the joke of "Olrox gave Mizrak head" (which doesn't help because Olrox smirks at him after passing him the head), it also solidifies Olrox's truths to Mizrak. People will lose their heads under Ezerbet, and there is evidence not even hours after their discussion. Despite the humor, Olrox is deeply concerned.

Olrox is always right. Whenever he makes a statement, he has always been right and has always been proven right. The only thing he hasn't been right about is episode 08 when he says "If you go back, she'll kill you." However, in terms of technicality, Mizrak hasn't gone back to Ezerbet/Sekmet. This will be addressed in season 02 most likely and even then I think Olrox will be proven wrong. Maybe? We shall see LOL.

Which while we're at it:

He eyes Mizrak the ENTIRE time during this very small interaction, and while he eyes him, we get a close-up of the book somewhat revealed before hiding it under his coat- silently communicating to him. This will eventually lead to episode 06. All interactions lead to effecting the next time they meet. I just really like this detail, though that might be a corn plate moment I'm not sure HAHAHA

Ok lets jump back to the bed scene!

So this follows up the "So we use our heads." "Or lose them."

This is said insincerely, so Mizrak jabs back at him with the same insincereity and less seriousness of this scene. Coupled with the fact we have a panning shot of Mizrak pulling his pants up, aka, pulling up his guard. Important note again- his back is STILL FACING HIM. Even with the chainmail fully covering him.

Also, I just really enjoy the animation here, like the way his arm goes from in front of him and straight, and then goes to being pulled back and bent, but that's a side tangent.

Low-angle tilted down shot. It ends up placing Olrox in a lower position of power than Mizrak in this current interaction, coupled with the fact that Mizrak towers over Olrox when he's standing up.

Despite us not seeing much of Mizrak besides his chest- he's fully clothed with his tunic FACING Olrox. While Olrox is STILL naked. Mizrak is shielding himself behind the cross. His faith. Olrox still is trying to delve into Mizrak's vulnerabilities and Mizrak won't give in.

Props to everyone who worked on this shot he just looked really pretty here.

This shot is tilted up and a close-up, an opposite shot to the previous one. It feels daunting, coupled with that line especially. Unlike a tilted-down shots, which make a character appear more vulnerable and weak, a tilted-up shot can make a character feel more in control of the scene. It makes him appear unwavering and solid in his stance Also, this is so specific but we haven't had any solely focused Mizrak shots for a hot moment now. The last time we had it was when he had his back turned to Olrox- now he has all his clothes on and is fully turned towards Olrox. Say it with me !! Mizrak's guard is up !! He's shielding his vulnerability !!

He feels way more emotionally safer to face him guarded up and a lot of his language has very very subtly shifted from when he had clothes on versus off.

Also thank you to everyone who worked on this shot, Olrox is very pretty here too.

Instead of having a tilted-down shot to do a verse version of Mizrak, it's pretty much straight forward close-up shot, which means the equal power dynamic in this conversation has returned. Simply because Olrox begins to prod at Mizrak again with the line "Who pays for it? Will you?"

Oop naked Olrox. However, despite Olrox's ass being very clearly on display, he's not the main focus since his face isn't shown. He's only here to showcase the visual contrast of him being naked to a fully clothed Mizrak. Even his dagger is strapped to his thigh, which only means there's even more layers to his protective bubble he surrounds himself in.

This close-up is important because it's a declaration of how much Mizrak doesn't care in the slightest. His facial performance, aka what we're focused on, doesn't look like he's lying or secretly worried either, he's genuinely disinterested. He just wants to get dressed and leave because Olrox keeps prodding at HIM for his opinions. As disinterested as he is for whatever Olrox has to say, he's disinterested in shedding his opinion.

This midshot is so casual. He is very non-nonchalantly leaning back with a smile and jokes about demons. The camera moves with Olrox. Camera pans normally mean revealing new information visually, as if something is off camera, similar to the bed reveal at the beginning of this whole scene. What Olrox is doing is revealing new information. Also, he is on the very right of the screen then slowly gets pushed a little more towards the center, but still on the right. Having a character placed on the very cusp of a stage makes the visual balance feel really off, therefore as an audience, we feel really off-balance. So couple that with Olrox's humourous attitude with an information dump...

This so interesting because it sprinkles in that Olrox knows a lot about the forge master ability, hell itself, and a lot more we don't get privy to. He knows way more then he lets on.

This ONE LINE gets three different shots. The very casual, humorous sentiment gets interrupted visually with extreme close-ups of Mizrak who is clearly peeved and tense about this. The quick succession of jumping to different images makes us tense up. This is due to the timing suddenly speeding up AND where the camera is placed is so drastically different.

He's reacting to the conversation unlike how he has before.

Now Mizrak's hands are fully covered, the last part of his skin, the last part that Olrox used in an attempt for vulnerability. Mizrak's guard is now unwavering, covered head to toe. He's gone from reserved and quiet to angrily guarding again.

Lol you thought I was done talking about divides and boxes, you are WRONG.

Mizrak is boxing himself into all his preconceived notions of religion. This is the only time he's been aligned inside of the door frame. Mizrak is done with this conversation and he doesn't want to hear anything else.

Also, funnily enough- Olrox takes up the amount of space in this shot as to Mizrak and the door. Compositional it does make it feel more filled up rather than empty, showcasing Olrox is listening, peeved, but he is listening. It also might hark onto the Olrox God connections that are being subtly slid to us, though this feels like a slight stretch. There's a stronger Olrox God parallel I talk about later, so pocket that thought!

I have to skip some of the shots because of the image limitation, but thought this one needed to be addressed!

Not only does this wide shot make us feel really pulled away and disconnected from whatever private conversation they were having. It also makes us feel like after this interaction, whatever same understanding they had, is gone (well not completely gone, it has to be rebuilt again). Mizrak's unrelenting faith in one God is causing a rift, a divide if you will between the both of them. They feel so separated, so distant from each other because Mizrak is still really stubborn.

Then after all is said and done. After Mizrak has the final say. He leaves and Olrox watches. Like episode 08. Again.

Olrox is pushed into a box, which funnyily enough, Olrox tends to be seen in a lot of boxed-up framing to the right of the screen. You can see a visual collection of it here. Whenever he's from the left of the screen boxed up, it's usually turned towards himself like an inner reflection.

Ok, I have to skip some more shots to get to here.

"One God. And you think he can protect you?"

This is major foreshadowing but the one God, that Olrox scoffs about is himself. This close-up solely focuses on how he looks down and watches Mizrak from above. Much like how God is described in scripture.

Psalm 53:2 NIV: God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 102:19 NIV: The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth,

Olrox looking at Mizrak from above as a protector happens numerous times in episode 08.

There are also a ton of bible verses about living under the shadow of God, it's considered a positive thing because God's shadow covers the entire body, therefore a person is fully protected.

Psalms 91:1-2 NIV: Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Psalm 36:7 ESV: How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

(i do realize now all my examples are psalms i hope that's ok to prove a point LOLOL)

Olrox is the sole protector of Mizrak to the point where he even drags him away for his own safety. The shot choice when he says it is a close-up shot of his face and his eye is slightly glowing, making him appear way more supernatural, almost god-like in a way.

It hasn't been confirmed (or denied for that matter) if Olrox's creature form is the Quetzalcoatl (an Aztec deity), but the god parallels are very apparent from the get-go, and a lot of the fandom (aka the audience) who are invested in Castlevania have placed this label onto him not only for the reasons mentioned above BUT also due to his association to Mizrak, who is a man who fights for God. However, this aspect doesn't get fleshed out like their vulnerability because Olrox only goes into this protector role at the very end of the season. After all, that is when he has a change of heart, much like Mizrak. This means this will not be the last time we will see Olrox in this role even after the break-up.

To wrap this up, vulnerability as showcased in episode 04 does appear in episodes 03, 06, and 08! I personally believe though that episode 04 however really hammers you on the head with it because you're able to play around with someone's literal nakedness as a visual metaphor. This episode is supposed to make you really conscious of them and the decisions they decide to make going forward. It is the bridging point between episode 03 and episode 06. It's a stab in the heart when you watch episode 08.

Vulnerability and the ability to open up is a massive thing between these characters and it's only going to get more raw and more human as the series goes on. We see it happen when Olrox is the one to open up first. One thing I noticed from both Castlevania and Castlevania: Nocturne is that love can be the most damning thing or it can save you. The choice, however, is up to you. However, to love is choosing to be vulnerable. By the way, love isn't just romantic it can be very much platonic and familial as seen with practically all the characters, both current and past... Olrox and Mizrak though are just really complicated and messy. Aren't all characters though? Isn't that what makes them human, even if they've lost it centuries ago? HAHAHASBDHADSB

(ok so the paragraphs below is my personal opinion but i think they're a good ending note/side tangent)

If we ever actually get an explicit scene it's going to make a specific commentary on how these characters have developed from season 1 to whatever season they have sex in, especially how they go about sequencing, pacing, and shot choices, especially with Netflix censoring and rating requirements. Limited things you can show, and limited things you're allowed to even imply, so everything has to make sense to what they want to portray AND say. Even simplicity requires a lot of thought. They can do some really cool stuff with it in which vulnerability, both physical and emotional, gets explored between Olrox and Mizrak. Sex is actually a very interesting way to explore a dynamic, I feel it's really underutilized, though it's mostly in part to a societal downpour view on it. With Mizrak and Olrox, two very withdrawn characters, you could say something really interesting about them as individuals and as a pair that you might not be able to do when clothed. The commentary may be as simple or as profound as the creatives behind this want it to be.

A counterpoint though is that you can very easily make a non-explicit scene feel really explicit and sensual without sex or kissing. While yes, we want confirmation through that means, don't get me wrong I love when queer love is straight-up told to us, there's something about telling a story of intimacy between characters that will often engage us first into a story. Phrases like "This is gayer than gay sex" are coined due to the emotional connection a character has, leaving a far more profound impact on an audience. Things like non-explicitly romantic touches like hands, the way the character looks at a person, communication, etc etc, are ways countless media have explored intimacy. Which Mizrak and Olrox already have. Why not build upon a solid foundation?

Whatever the pathway is, it will fit inside the themes of Nocturne and its aspects of revolution, freedom, and choice which is crazy to think "Olrox and Mizrak intimate scene??? meaning-" YES, it can (like sexual freedom, though I don't think it would be explored, it's just cool to think about). All of their scenes serve to strengthen those show's themes since they're a side plot. But I digress! I'm excited to see how they further Mizrak and Olrox's dynamic in a visual manner!

Okay, with that all said, I'm done with episode 04! One more episode to go! This was all for fun and to be silly about a show I really enjoy, but I hope this gets you to rewatch Nocturne! Apply this to other scenes! Enjoy the craft of animation!!

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/767347744265355264/things-i-hate-that-i-thought-were-tumblr?source=share

Anon, if at all possible, grow a beard. I know that's bad advice because you might not be able to go on HRT and might not even get good facial hair if you do, but if that is possible for you, absolutely wear a bit of scruff.

My beard is the only thing that's really changed about my looks since I was a college freshman. I'm 37 now, I started wearing a beard around age 30, and I still look 25. I can't even grow much on my cheeks, I just wear a small goatee and mustache.

And the amount of respect I got from random strangers and people I end up stuck with absolutely skyrocketed almost as soon as I stopped shaving.

I'm autistic and I used to be treated as a freak and a weirdo and everyone made it very clear that I was Doing Gender Wrong. I was also treated like an idiot child.

But now I'm not only treated like a man, but like an adult. The infantilization is completely gone in person even though people guess my age to be exactly the same (it's still there online and in other contexts where people can't see my face, so I know it's the beard, not my mannerisms or method of communication, that makes people treat me like I'm not 5). The autistic traits are less commonly pointed out and when they are they're more likelt to be pointed out as neutrally weird things rather than as terrible social failures which must be corrected.

I dress the same, I act the same, I talk the same, my social skills haven't improved in the slightest since I actually was 25. But one minor fashion choice makes people treat me like an entirely different person.

It sucks, it's stupid. It's straight up toxic masculinity. I want to dismantle whatever gendered ideas are making people respect me simply because I don't shave my chin.

But in the meantime, take any basic human decency you can get. It'll be better for one guy to get through a college course without being misgendered and infantilized to his face than it will be for him to set some example of how men don't need to have beards to be real people.

It's extra stupid because cis men who aren't autistic and who perform gender in a way that readers correctly to randos can wear as little facial hair as they want and still be correctly gendered and treated like adults, but autistic men and trans men and men who like to wear lace and any other types of men who aren't "normal" don't get that default basic human decency.

But apparently a stupid little goatee can steamroll over a giant pile of toxic masculinity and transphobia and ableism. Use it if you got it.

--

[mullermilkshake]

Kento makes his own way home

The clan meeting

Yakuza!Nanami x Hostess!reader

MINORS DNI - Tags: Yakuza AU, pretty much stalking.

After leaving Ino to his own devices, despite learning the news of the latest Yakuza group going head on with the Ryomen clan, Kento had more confidence than he knew what to do with.

And that confidence drove him to make his way to your club, just to see a glimpse of you and maybe even to introduce himself.

"Welcome, Sir," The club host bowed and allowed Kento inside. "Do you have any requests for who you might like to accompany you?"

You. He wanted you and that confidence he had almost let him blurt out your name.

Almost.

"I'll sit at the bar for now, I'll decide later,” that confidence went flying out the window faster than smoke, and he couldn’t chase it.

Maybe next time.

There was a benefit to being cooped up watching the computer screens on the network, Kento took at every convenience. There was no fuss or worry and therefore no attention.

Even if it was a Ryomen clan owned club. One of the smaller ones in Shinjuku.

God forbid there was too much commotion and you turn to see him for the first time being doted on. That would have been the worst first impression ever.

Kento left the host and planted himself on the edge of the bar, ordering top shelf whiskey and reading the room.

His stomach flipped when he saw you, in the flesh and smiling with some old man throwing hand signals up to the waiters for more drinks and ice.

It should have been Kento at that table, but he still couldn't face the music to how you'd react in his presence. He knew you far more than you realised.

You however, didn't know he existed and it was far too much of a knock to Kento's existing confidence if you were impassive or indifferent to him.

Just looking at you in person, watching you smile and casually touch the old man's arm every now and then made him envious at best. How would you react to him? Just like that, working your job as you were supposed to in order to collect that tip at the end?

Or would it all be genuine?

He couldn't think, because right now, you stood up and offered your hand to the man with the most warming smile and allowed his lips to touch the back of your hand.

How could you let him touch you like that? Kento was aware it was part of the job and he was certain that the trip would be a big one because of the bottles of champagne he was ordering.

Yet the man was so old and grey, not that Kento was a young spring chicken himself either, the age gap from him wasn't anything to brag about and it was concerning that you would see straight through it.

But he had a chance though, right?

Kento must have zoned out, you were walking right towards him. Straight and no beeline, soft smile in tow and aiming for the bar.

Had you noticed him?

"Hey! Can you put this behind the bar?" you looked straight past Kento and handed over a load of yen bills to the bartender.

"Sure," he said with a warm smile and moved to pour you a drink. "Good night tonight?"

You nodded and Kento listened, keeping his head down to avoid eye contact. "Yeah, though I have just one more client until my break."

"Nice," he slid the glass of what looked like whiskey towards you. "How was old Tanaka tonight? Just as creepy as usual?"

"Shh! Don't be so loud... It's rude," Kento could have sworn you looked over at him in his periphery and if he moved an inch, his flight response may have kicked in. "He's very... ardent."

"That's one way of putting it, take care," the bartender winked and moved on to another customer.

"Thanks."

For a moment, your smile faded. If Kento had blinked he would have missed it. You were far too intelligent for the likes of these old men, just by your vocabulary he had heard at times. Not to mention how beautiful you were.

You weren't happy, that much was clear.

At some point, Kento would find the courage to interact with you. Though for now, he'd continue to watch from afar until he knew more about you and that his chance to be with you was as high as possible.

He'd ensure you would never have to work in a place like this again.

Because you were far too good for a place like this.

[zepskies]

Awww yeahhh!! Again, I'm so happy you're reading this little Russell series--thank you again, and Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it)! 🥰💕

I can't wait to dive into the rest of your thoughts on Part 1...

I love their friendship so much 😂 And kudos to Dory. It takes a lot to agree to this. It could potentially get very awkward 😝

Aww I'm so glad you love her and Dory's friendship! They've become that "ride or die" best girlfriends, and Dory strikes me as someone mature enough to handle her best friend dating her formerly estranged brother. loll It really does take a lot! Which is why the reader is being so cautious about even going on a date with Russell. 😅

God, I know. This is honestly what I think about the most when I watch Tracker. The whole story line is insane and intriguing and... 😅 I have a thousand questions, and there's so much you could do with it in fics. I love it (clearly) 😂🤍

Right?! That's what kept me watching, honestly. I still have so many questions, and even in this series I mostly go off of what we know so far in the show while exploring a couple of my own headcanons. Like you said, you can go in infinite directions with their family past, and even Russell's background!

I do think Russell knows a lot more about their past than he lets on. Also, he was way too chipper for someone who was accused of patricide by his own brother for twenty years. The dynamic between the brothers is just... interesting 👀

Oh yeah, definitely. Their mom is VERY SUSS as well. 🤔🤔

Oh, she's going full Reagan! 😂 I sense some trouble coming from the brother, though...

LOL you're spidey senses are correct. Charlie's a piece of work. 😬

Well, I hope he already picked out his casket... 🙈💀

Omgg but you killed me with that scaredy Dean gif from season 1. 🤣🤣 Like I said, Charlie's a piece of work, an addict, and unfortunately, lashing out at the one person still holding him down. 💙

I'd be a puddle before I even made it to the damn seat 🫠 And they are literally so cute together! I'm full on swooning over here 😍

Ughhhhhh girl SAME. Stick a fork in me with a slab of butter, I'd be DONE.

Ah, yes, the family business. Love that sublte hint 😆 Would be a good name for a brewery, tho 👍

Omgg I'm so glad you caught that!! lmao

Oh yeah, that's catchy. I could so see that on a draft label. 😜🍻

I like that you emphasized the darker parts of his life. Like I said, I don't buy his whole "I'm happy and funny and quirky" act. There's a lot more stirring beneath the charming surface 😅 (Another thing he has in common with Dean lol)

That's definitely not all there is to Russell, so thank you for pointing that out! SO many Deanisms in Russ, but it was pretty clear to me from the get-go (and especially in 2x02) that this guy has an edge, and a lot of experience with the darker shades of the military, despite his bouncy charm lol.

And oh, don't we love a good cry on the first date? Poor thing 😂🤍

Oh God yeah, she was mortified. 😂😂 I thought it would be understandable though, given what just happened with Charlie. 🥲💙

Indeed 😂 I would've loved to be a fly on the wall when Dory had this conversation with her lol How he very eloquently avoided talking about Colter accusing him of murdering their father. I wanna be a fly on the wall for that future convo too 🤣

Ha, ikr! Maybe I'll flash back to that convo in a future ESC story. 🤔

Oh he dodges that real well, doesn't he? 😂 He's going to continue hiding that aspect of things with Colter (I have plans for another sequel story in the future), but he will get into the circumstances around his father's death with her later on...

Loved that she got a punch in before even Russell got there. He might have actually killed that pig lmao

We love a strong heroine, right? 😘 Plus, as the sister of an Air Force/military guy, I felt like Charlie would've taught her how to defend herself. But oh God yeah, Russell might've let his hand "slip." 😬

I'm having vivid flashbacks to Smoke Eater 🥵🔥

Aahahaa I had hoped that moment where he holds her hand would be a nice little Easter egg for people who read Smoke Eater. 😘❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Probably one of my favorite scenes is when characters are so hot for each other they lean against a car. There's just something so incredibly passionate about it 🔥🫠

Clearly we have similar taste on this stuff, because girl YES. 😮‍💨😮‍💨❤️‍🔥 Melts me every time I see/read it...

Oh, Russell, this is not what the lady wants to hear. Bless him tho 😂 And I figured she wanted more than a one-night-stand or fling. His job and lifestyle truly is a bit of a problem. But he wanted out anyways, so... 🤞

Bless his heart, he tried to make it sexy loll. And yeeep, not only does she want to tread lightly because he's Dory's brother, but she also isn't typically one for a fling, being an introverted nerdy type lol. Not to say that professors can't get down like that, but this character in particular is more the cautious type. 🤣🤣

I loved their first date! 😍🤍 Hopefully, they'll see each other again soon and might give this another shot. I have a feeling it's gonna involve her brother's bullshit somehow 😅

Aww thank you, friend!! I had so much fun writing their date lol. You already know they're gonna see each other again soon 😏 and your instincts are spot on as usual! Charlie's about to get himself into some trouble that he might just need some help getting out of... 😬😬

As always, reading your lovely, thoughtful and hilarious comments put a huge smile on my face! 😉💓💓

Every Second Counts - Part 1

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the first one you trust to help you find him. 

AN: Finally, here we are at Part 1! Remember that A Line and a Half functions as our prologue here.

Word Count: 5.7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only for some mature thoughts. Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort, drug use, mentions of drug addiction and alcoholism, skeevy men, and a tinge of spice.~

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 1: "Permission Granted"

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still at the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

After brushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, she went to you and set her hands on your shoulders.

“You have my blessing,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t scar me with any gushy details afterward.” 

Your face began to heat up in a blush. You crossed your arms.

“All right, no one said there was going to be any of that,” you replied. “It’s just a date. Barely a date, mind you.”

“A-huh,” Dory said with a sneaking smile. “Out of curiosity, what was it about him that hooked you? You’ve been dodging Chris’s valiant attempts for like a month now.”

Chris was a French and Spanish professor. His office was on the same floor as yours, so you two occasionally crossed paths whenever you ventured into the teacher’s lounge.

He usually caught you in the morning while you were grabbing your free coffee fix at the Keurig. He’d chat you up about his classes and his dog and his new boat, and all the while you’d struggle to get a word in edgewise. Despite that, he was good-looking and pleasant, for the most part. It was just…

“I don’t know. He’s not my type, I guess,” you shrugged. You kind of liked conversations where both people got to speak.

“And Russell is?” Dory said, in a teasing tone. You chewed the inside of your lip, fighting a smile.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Kind of want to find out though.”

“Okay, well, let me know what you find,” Dory said, more wryly. You caught a bit of melancholy when her gaze drifted off. Your brows furrowed in concern as you drew closer, setting a hand on her arm.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

She was hesitant, but she eventually answered you with a confession.

“You know, it’s been about twenty years since I’ve seen him,” she said. “We’ve had entire lives already. I see him now, and there’s some of the Russell I knew when we were kids, but…there’s just a lot I don’t know about him, who he’s become.”

You could understand that. You squeezed her arm in sympathy.

“Well, he really seems to want to know you now,” you said. You remembered all the questions he asked you when he helped you carry your files back to your office after lunch today—most of them about Dory, about her career, your friendship, and ultimately, if she was happy.

“What happened to you guys?” you asked. “Why are you all so distant? Colter included.”

Dory’s face tightened. “It’s a long story. I’ve told you some of it. But basically, after our dad died, nothing was ever the same again.”

You dimmed at that. You knew their mother still lived in the cabin they grew up in, but Dory had never quite been able to tell you what happened to their dad. You’d never pushed the subject. You knew better than anyone what kind of pain that was. 

“I just wish we’d been able to stay with each other. Me and my brothers, at least,” Dory said. But she adopted a smile for you, before she returned to her desk.

“Okay. Go on your non-date at your favorite bar with Russell. I’ll be here, grading papers until Judgment Day,” she said, with a small laugh that felt like a coverup for thoughts she no longer wanted to think about.

You let her do it. You grabbed your purse and work bag off the spare chair in front of her desk.

“So you’re sure,” you wanted to confirm. “One last chance for me to tell him I came down with food poisoning.”

Dory collected her stack of midterm papers and gave you a cheeky look that said, class dismissed. Then she clicked her red pen and pointedly looked down at the first batch of papers to read through.

You smiled. Okay, you thought, giving her a little wave goodbye when you turned to leave. You had just a couple of hours to drive home and get ready to meet Russell.

“Goodnight,” you called.

“Goodniiight,” Dory replied.

You heard the smirk in her voice without even having to look back.

After fighting through rush hour traffic, you were exhausted when you got home from work. Your tentative excitement and nerves about tonight gave you some new energy though, even if you thought those nerves were silly to have.

Barely a date, you reminded yourself, as you unlocked the door to your house. Barely a date, barely a date.

The Ring Camera beside the door chimed when you entered the house, signaling your arrival. You had to wrinkle your nose at the dank-ass smell that greeted you.

Frowning in annoyance, you dropped your stuff on the kitchen table for now and shucked off your heels. You made a beeline down the hall, to the bedroom that lied across from yours. You pushed it open without knocking. There you caught your older brother, Charlie, snoozing in his bed with the covers half pooling on the floor.

His room was a mess, as usual. Your gaze locked on the evidence of half a blunt on his nightstand and two smoked roaches beside it. You were glad it wasn’t remnants of white lines of powder, like times before, but there was also a large bottle of whiskey. It was almost empty, and hanging loosely from his hand.

He managed to raise his head a bit when you came in.

“Hey,” he said, blinking bleary eyes. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up.

You shook your head and picked around piles of dirty clothes and a couple of used paper plates on the floor. You swiftly grabbed the bottle from his hand and slammed it on the nightstand.

“You promised me, Charlie,” you snapped. “You promised me for the hundredth time that you’d quit all this shit. Where even were you last night? You weren’t home when I left for work this morning.”

He sighed, frowning at how loud you were, and sat up in bed. He swung his legs over the side and held his swimming head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. He ran a hand through his hair. It was nearly black, like Dad’s had been, but he’d inherited Mom’s lighter eyes.

“I got invited to a party,” he said. “I’m sorry, I know. This is the last time.”

You expelled a frustrated breath and shook your head.

“You’re a grown fucking man, Charlie! Do you really need me to give you the just say no speech?” you said. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say it,” he said. He shut his eyes tight, probably trying to fend off a headache. 

Good, you thought. Let that be a reminder of how bad he’d screwed up again. 

“And while we’re at it, what about your half of the bills? You’re a week late,” you said, testily crossing your arms.

“Yeah, I’m a little behind,” he said. Once again, he cleared his throat past a wad of phlegm. He was still a bit crossfaded too, you could tell. “You know they cut my hours to part-time at the museum. I’ve, uh, I’ve been looking into getting another job—”

“I already paid the phone bill. And the internet, the water bill, the electricity,” you said. “The house may be paid off, but the least you can do is pay your half of living here.”

The longer you stared at him, seeing the guilt hidden behind drunken eyes, you realized he wasn’t just late on his half of the bills.

“How much?” you asked.

He frowned up at you. “What?”

“How much do you owe?” you said. Your voice was as cutting as your gaze. Charlie lowered his.  

“It’s okay, don’t worry—”

“How much,” you pressed.

He looked up at you again, this time with pursed lips. After a beat, he sighed and gave in.

“About two grand,” he admitted.

You raised your eyes heavenward, muttering a curse. Your hands went to your temples as you had to pace the room. You were angry and exasperated in equal measure.

“Who the fuck do you owe two grand?!” you asked.

Charlie shook his head. “It’s better that I don’t tell you that.”

You paused. As you looked down at him, your anger dissolved into sadness, like it always did.

“If Mom and Dad could see you now, they wouldn’t recognize you,” you said.

Charlie fought not to react to that, his brows furrowing. Instead, he just looked down, unable to answer you.

“Charlie, you need help. I can’t keep doing this with you,” you said. Your shaky breath gave way to the burn of tears.  

His red-rimmed eyes became glassy as well.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

He was always sorry. And you always had to be the one to nurse him back to health, pick up the pieces, pay the bills. You were exhausted. The bone-deep kind of tired that felt like gravity wasn't so much keeping you down, but pushing you.

“I’m going to ask for two things: do what you need to do to get paid, and clean up your shit. If you can’t accomplish that, then I’m taking you to rehab,” you said.

“You know I’ve tried that,” Charlie said, with a shrug of his shoulders. “Didn’t really work for me.”

“You left the program after two weeks!” you retorted.

“I did it on my own! I’ve been clean for months,” he argued.

“And what happened? You go to one party and all your good sense, all your training, mentally and physically—that all goes out the window?” you said. You had half a mind not to believe him.

“Yeah well, maybe just for one night, I wanted to relax without you harping on my back,” he said, glaring up at you. “Is that too much to fucking ask? For you to give me some goddamn slack?”

Your mouth fell open incredulously.  

“I’m on your back?” you said. “Okay. I’ll get off. Do whatever the hell you want, Charlie. I’m done.”

You left his room in an angry huff. You headed over to your room so you could take a shower and start getting ready to meet Russell at Howley’s. 

By the time you got to your bedroom, you heard the front door slam closed.

The truth was, you were no longer in a mood to have fun when you pulled up to Howley’s, but you needed to escape your house. Also, you weren’t someone who canceled on people last-minute, especially not on Dory’s own brother.

You found Russell waiting for you at the bar. He waved to you with a fifth of whiskey in hand and an easy grin. He’d saved you a seat beside him.

You found yourself smiling. Your mood began to lighten as you went over to him. He looked more or less the same, but this time the jacket and jeans combo was navy blue and dark wash, respectively. His hair was swept back, lightly gelled. You smelled the familiar, rich woodiness of his cologne when you drew near, along with a hint of spicy soap.

“Hey, there.” He greeted you with a warm hand on your back. He helped you into your seat.

“Hey, yourself,” you replied, and thanked him for the assist onto the tall stool. You’d opted for jeans and a blouse, paired with your favorite leather boots. It was less dressy than he’d seen you before, but that was “work mode.” This was a more casual affair, even if you’d spent at least twenty extra minutes on your makeup.

You were glad he picked a spot at the end of the bar though. It put some distance from the group of guys getting rowdy as they cheered at the football game playing on the TV.

“How was the rest of your day, Professor?” he asked. “And what’re you wanting to drink?”

You let out a long sigh and turned toward him, resting your elbow on the counter.

“Awesome. I’m going to need two shots of tequila and an order of something fried, and preferably covered with cheese, please,” you replied.

Russell’s grin deepened. “Okay, I’m thinking ‘awesome’ is code for something. But we can get started on that order of Forget Today’s Unfortunate Events.”

He flagged down the bartender with a raise of his hand, but he shot you a glance.

“Though I’m hoping it’s not all of today that you wanna forget,” he said.

Your lips threatened another smile, as the memory of your hand being swept up into his, and soft lips meeting the back of your hand filtered through your mind.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible,” you said.

After about ten minutes of playfully debating the appetizer menu (you swore by the pretzel and beer cheese, but Russell had his eye on those spicy wings), he finally settled on ordering both.

“When in doubt, don’t go without,” he’d remarked.

You swept a pretty coil of hair over your shoulder and downed your tequila shots with a lime wedge. Meanwhile, Russell tried not to linger his eyes on the way your tongue swept over your finger to catch a drop of lime juice. Your nails were manicured, and the shade of the polish matched your lipstick.

Russell didn’t pretend to know the art and science of a woman’s wardrobe, but everything about you was thought out, it seemed, falling in line with what he’d expect from a (sexy as all hell) college professor. You’d also told him at lunch today that as of last year, you now had two doctorates: History and Ancient Studies.

Even with all that under your belt, you also seemed refreshingly down-to-earth, a lot like Dory in that sense. He could see why you two were friends.

“So, are you from here, or are you a transplant, like my sister?” he asked.

Dory hadn’t come to live in Wyoming until their aunt and uncle took her in, when she was about eight years old. Before last month, Russell hadn’t seen her since. It hurt his heart to think about, but he tried to focus on you.

You now seemed to be staring a bit listlessly at the glass of whiskey in his hands. He laid a hand on your arm and called your name.

“Hmm?” Your brows rose as you blinked to attention. “Oh! I’m sorry. Yes, I’ve lived here pretty much forever.”

“You okay?” Russell asked. “Tequila hit ya a little hard?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry…”

You raised your hands up to your temples. You debated whether you wanted to open up about this, but…considering who Russell was, you thought he might just understand.

“Dory told me you’ve been trying to reconnect with your brother, right? Colter?” you said.

Russell nodded. He wasn’t sure how much Dory told you about their family business, but it dimmed his mood.

“Well, you could say I’ve got a brother issue of my own,” you said, laughing humorlessly. “You don’t have to talk about yours, but maybe you’ll understand… My brother is a veteran too. He was a Captain, air force pilot. He fought in Afghanistan, mainly.”

Russell processed that with a nod. “Yeah, I was there too. Special Ops.”

“Wow, okay. Then you know what it was like for him, coming back home,” you said. Your gaze fell to your empty shot glasses. “It was hard, after…”

“After?” he prompted.

You sighed. “Near the end, he lost half his unit in a raid, off of some flawed intel.”

Russell’s brows knitted together. Hmm. Grief, survivor’s guilt, feeling like you don’t belong.

He was starting to get a clearer picture of who your brother was. It struck at familiar chords inside himself that he wasn’t so comfortable with. He shifted in his seat, fingers flexing over his glass on the counter.

You didn’t notice, but you did push the shot glasses away from you.

“I helped him the best I could,” you said. “I got him a job at the museum I interned at when I was in undergrad. He’s there as a security guard, but it’s not really enough, you know? It’s like, nothing satisfies him. I just…I don’t think I know how to help him anymore.”

You couldn’t help it. Emotion bubbled in your throat, making it close up on you as tears stung in your eyes. Your lower lip wobbled, and you tried to turn your face away. Embarrassment coiled up in your chest and made your face hot.

You felt a hand cover yours on your thigh, squeezing warmly. You looked up and met Russell’s gaze, both sympathetic and understanding.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, trying to calm your shuddering breath. “This isn’t exactly first date material. I can’t believe I unloaded on you like that.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “Believe me, I get what your brother’s going through.”

He pushed the plate with the last piece of soft-baked pretzel over to you.

“You finish that if you want, then you go ahead and pick something else off the menu. I won’t even argue with you this time,” he promised with a grin.

It got you to laugh, at least, and he gave you a napkin for your tears.

God, get it together, you told yourself. You’re a damn mess.

“Thanks,” you said. You managed to smile as you blotted at one corner of your eye. You hoped you hadn’t just irreversibly smudged your mascara.

Russell surprised you by brushing his thumb against your other cheek, wiping a stray tear away. Your face began to warm with a blush.

“Again, I’m sorry for dumping on you. We had a fight right when I got home,” you admitted.

“What’s his name?” Russell asked.

“Charlie.”

“Older or younger than you?”

“Four years older,” you replied. “He enlisted a few years after he graduated high school.”

Russell flickered at a smile. Enlisted, huh?

Yet another thing he and Charlie had in common, except Russell hadn’t made it through high school in the classic sense.

“What do you think?” you asked.

“I think your brother sounds lost right now. I’ve known a lotta guys like him, unfortunately,” Russell admitted. “Walking back into civilian life, it ain’t easy. That I know my damn self. Just like I know a thing or two about being an older brother. He’s probably doing his best to keep it off your shoulders.”

You shook your head at that. Trying, maybe.

You weren’t even sure of that anymore. Still, it made you all the more curious about Russell and his family.

“I know I said I wouldn’t ask this, and you don’t have to answer. But did you and Colter have a falling out or something?” you asked.

Russell expelled a deep breath and took a sip from his glass. How was he supposed to navigate this minefield with you?

“You gotta understand that me, my brother, my sister, we didn’t grow up like a normal family,” he said.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Dory’s told me some of it. It sounded…rustic.”

He snorted. “Putting it mildly.”

He shook his head and drained the rest of his glass. 

“Well, my brother’s got an idea about me that isn’t true,” he said.

Your head tilted in curiosity. “Which is?”

His lips briefly raised in a wan smile. 

“We don’t gotta get into that one tonight. But uh, the truth is, I’ve tried reaching out to him several times now. He just doesn’t wanna hear from me,” said Russell.

You considered him for a moment. You laid a hand on his arm, covered by his jacket. 

“Don’t give up,” you said, with a sigh of your own. “Despite some things I said to him today, I know I can’t. My brother’s the only real family I have.”

Russell grew curious then. “What about your parents?”

You gave a weak smile.

“They passed away when we were young, but…we don’t have to get into that one tonight,” you said, borrowing his words. 

His expression fell. “Jesus. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you,” you accepted, twisting the napkin around your fingers.

An awkward lull of silence fell between you, until Russell nodded and blew out a breath.

“Well. Heavy, huh?”

You chuckled and rested your head against your hand.

“I know. Again, my fault,” you replied. 

“It’s okay, swee—. Mmm,” he cut himself off, shooting you a knowing glance.

“Were you about to sweetheart me?” you asked playfully, nudging his hand. “You know how I feel about that.”

“No, ma’am. Not at all,” Russell shook his head. His smile gave him away though. You laughed and grabbed his arm.

“Come on,” you said.

He allowed you to lead him out of his seat. He already had a tab open, so he’d settle up with the bar later. “Where we going?”

“You’re gonna lose to me at pool,” you said with a smirk.

Russell laughed and wrapped his arm around your waist instead.

“Oh, okay. I’m gonna give you a run for your money, though,” he promised.

And he was true to his word.

Russell Shaw turned out to be a more than worthy opponent. You studied the board as you changed the angle on your cue stick no less than five times.

“You gonna make a move, or we going to be here all night?” he said.

He was smiling as he leaned against his own cue on the other side of the board. His clever moves had left you in a difficult position to get your three remaining solid-colored balls into the pocket.

“You hush. I’m thinking,” you said, fighting your own smile.

“Careful, you’ve got steam coming out of your ears,” he teased.

You shot him a narrowed look for that. But then you smiled, as the answer came to you. You walked around to his side of the board and nudged him with your hip.

“Excuse me, sir,” you said to him over your shoulder.

Russell made way for you, but his eyes followed the way you bent over to line up your shot. Namely the curve of your ass in those tight jeans. He could see you knew exactly what you were doing, in more ways than one.

You shot your shot. The solid green ball leapt over his white-striped blue one and managed to sink into the pocket. You straightened up and gave him a triumphant little smirk.

He tried to temper his smile (and ignore the way his cock twitched).

“All right, go on, do your little victory lap," he said. "But remember, I let you go first.”

“Like that matters,” you quipped back.

You went back to the other side of the board to line up your next shot. Russell noticed a pair of drunk men ambling your way from the bar, but before he could make a subtle move to put himself in between, one of the men’s gazes slid down your form and gave into the base urge to let out a low whistle.

And he slapped you right on the ass.

You gasped, grabbing hold of the pool table. Then your shock melted into ire.

Russell was already heading toward you with an angry frown of his own, but even he had to stop short, when he watched you throw a punch that cracked the drunken man across the bridge of his nose.

Good form, Russell thought, when the guy reared back with a howl. His nose dripped blood when his hands came away from his face.

His buddy started to raise his hackles, but that was when Russell stepped to your side. He angled himself toward you and loosely gripped his pool cue by his hip, like it was an extension of his arm. He was fully prepared to use it like one.

“Fucking bitch!” said the one who was still dabbing his nose in vain. He glared at you, his eyes watering involuntarily, while his friend tried to keep him upright. You rolled your eyes.

"You're the one who's crying, bitch," you returned. Russell held in a snort. He cleared his throat and looked on at the pair of idiots.

“I’d have a little sit down if I were you,” Russell told them, with a smirk. “Let that be a lesson to ya. And if it don’t stick? Well. Whatever you start, I can damn well finish.”

His steely gaze reinforced the promise of his words. The other men were still angry, but even drunks had some sense of self-preservation. They ambled toward the back of the bar to find another pool table.

Russell focused his attention back on you, finding you looking down at your hand, rotating your wrist and flexing your fingers.

“Well, look at you, slugger,” he said. You met his smile with one of amusement.

“That’s just what I needed tonight. A broken hand,” you quipped.

“Aw, it doesn’t look as bad as all that. But can I see?” he asked. You allowed him to take your smaller hand in his. Your knuckles were red and tender to the touch when he gently pressed. You hissed in pain.

Damn, she really gave it to him, Russell thought.

“Sorry,” he said, but your hand felt fine, at least. More than fine. His gaze flicked up to yours as his amused grin deepened. “Good hit though.”

If he liked you before, he might’ve fallen half in love with you right there.

You laughed through the pain. “Yeah, my brother did teach me something. Shit.”

Russell led you back to the bar after you grabbed your purse. There he called to the bartender for some ice. The guy nodded; he’d seen the entire exchange and was sympathetic.

You knew this sort of thing was just par for the course at this kind of bar, but they had the best drinks. Charlie had to carry you out of here on your twenty-first birthday, drunk off your ass. Not to mention, he’d punched out two handsy dicks that night.

You recounted the story to Russell over a couple more drinks. Your conversation was lighter then, filled with laughter and a warm, companiable feeling. He was still rather evasive about his job, but you supposed he had to be, since it was government contract work.

Private security, mainly. Or so he'd said. This man made you infinitely curious, and a bit apprehensive, if you were honest.

And yet, at some point while you two shared and laughed and split a hot sandwich with another round of beers, you realized it.

I like this, you thought. And I like him.

However, the night had to come to an end sometime. Your third involuntary yawn told Russell it was time to call it.

"I'm okay," you tried.

"Nah, you've gotta work tomorrow," he said. He signaled to the bartender. "Let me go ahead and close out my tab."

“Oh, I can pay for half,” you said, reaching for your purse now hanging from your hip.

“You kidding me? Put that away,” he said, guiding your hand with your wallet aside.

Smiling, you accepted his generosity with a small thank you. Then, you let him take up your sore hand again, just to carefully press the half-melted bag of ice over it.

“Feelin’ better?” he asked.

Your smile became softer. “Yeah.”

You had no doubt that this man, tall as he was, with his broad shoulders and the controlled way he carried himself, could’ve laid both of those drunken assholes onto their asses. His intimidating gaze had promised as much.

But his hands were gentle for you.

“I was about to win that game, no contest!” you said, laughing as you and Russell headed out of the bar and into the parking lot.

“Hey, hey, I still had time to win it back,” he argued. “I only had three more balls to go. I could’ve sunk that with my eyes closed.”

“Three balls, huh?” you said slyly, and maybe, a little tipsy. “Might wanna get that looked at.”

Russell snorted. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Hey, you laughed!” you said, pointing at him.

He shook his head, despite his amusement. He slowed to a stop in front of his car.

“Where’d you park, huh?” he asked.

“Over there,” you said, pointing several parking spaces down. Your eyes were drawn to his car, however. “Wow. This is your car?”

Russell grinned and patted the top of his black Chevy.

“Aw, yeah. That’s my baby,” he said. “She’s a Chevelle, 1967.”

You didn’t know much about cars, but you could see this was a classic beauty. You passed a hand over its sleek paint job without touching, so you didn't get any fingerprints on it. Though you quirked a smile over your shoulder at him.

“She?” you intoned.

“That’s right. She,” he confirmed.

You smirked and crossed your arms. You paused in front of the passenger door, and when Russell drew in closer, you had to crane your neck up to meet his warm gaze.

“Now, if I go in for a kiss goodnight, are you gonna deck me?” he asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

You tilted your head, your own eyes dancing.

“I’m sure you’re brave enough to find out,” you said.

Russell decided he’d take that bet.

He leaned in slowly. He made a show of hesitating, raising a brow, as if waiting for a blow. You were tempted to laugh.

But then he let loose a true smile, and he bowed his head to press his lips against yours. Your eyes fell shut, and your hands moved to flatten against his chest. A firm fucking wall. Jesus.

He circled his arms around your waist, bringing you in closer. Your fingers wound up in his hair, while he tilted his head to kiss you again. You met him with the same fervor with each new kiss, and the feel of your body, soft and pliant under his hands, each little sweet sound that you made, it all drove him to delve in deeper.

You moaned into his mouth at the first warm swipe of his tongue against yours. He tasted like the burn of good whiskey.

You pressed yourself flush against him on instinct. He found no other recourse but to back you up against the side of his car. His hand tangled into your hair, gripping, then easing through the soft strands.

Russell veered away from your soft mouth after a while, just to burn a line of warm, wet kisses along your jaw, and down your neck with the added rasp of his beard.

His lips found the sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder. He kissed and sucked at your skin, even grazing with his teeth. You gasped softly in his ear, shuddering against him. You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his strong back out of a need to feel him.

His hands were heavy along the curve of your waist then, squeezing your hips. It all felt incredibly right. And by right, you meant body tingling, warmth churning in your lower belly, and wetness growing between your legs, for sure dampening your panties.

You tugged him back by his hair, so you could reach him for another steamy kiss.

“I’m staying at a motel, if you wanna…” he said, between kisses.

You paused against his lips, parting from him softly.

“Or not," he added. "Just thought I’d mention.” 

You giggled, catching your breath, and then smoothing your hands down his chest. The faint throb of your core was telling you one thing, but the warning signals of your more cautious mind were telling you another. You thought for a moment…but then you sighed. 

“How long are you really in town?” you asked.

His wet lips tugged to one corner, ruefully. “A few more days, probably.”

“Right,” you said with a frown. “Russell, I like you. I actually, I really do. If you were sticking around for a while, it’d be one thing. But you’re my best friend’s brother, and I—”

“No, I get it. I can’t predict when I’m gonna be able to swing back into town, and you’ve gotta live your life,” he said, but not without care. He curled an errant strand of hair behind your ear. 

Your heart tugged, almost painfully.

“You’re a good guy, Russell Shaw,” you breathed. “Why can’t you be a good guy who’s staying?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. Then he cringed, knowing how you felt about sweethearting men. “Ah, sorry—” 

You smiled and covered his mouth with your fingers. 

“It’s okay. You have permission to sweetheart me.” 

After blinking his surprise away, his face eased into a grin.

“Then I’ll wear that badge with honor,” he said. 

Your shoulders shook with laughter when you let your forehead fall against his chest.

Russell remained what he had been throughout the entire night: a gentleman, who accompanied you over to your car.

After another stolen kiss or two in front of your sedan, you parted ways from him with a bit of a heavy heart. You wondered if you made the right decision, or if you should’ve just gone for it for once, instead of second-guessing yourself like usual.

You did know this. The rumble of his Chevelle driving down the opposite road would be imprinted on your memory.

When you returned home, you realized that the house was empty, and in complete darkness.

Charlie still wasn’t home.

Worried, you flicked on the lights and began to text his cell, only to find a note for you on the kitchen counter.

And it worried you even more.

I’m sorry. I’m going to make it right. 

— C.

AN: 😬 Well then! lol We're diving straight into the drama and feels on this one. What did you think of her "barely a date" with Russell? 😂

And where do you think we're going next with Charlie?

Next Time:

Dory was sat next to you on the couch, rubbing your back with sympathy and concern in her own eyes.

“You should call the police,” she advised.

You’d thought of that, but if Charlie was doing something he wasn’t supposed to, then depending on what it was, you didn’t necessarily want him locked up in a cell. He wasn’t a bad person, he was just…lost. You wanted him to get help.

You set down the butterknife beside the jar and turned to her, after drying your eyes the best you could.

“Do you think your brother would be willing to come back to Wyoming?” you said. After a beat of hesitation, you specified:

“Colter, the tracker.”

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 2

Series Masterlist

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@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

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@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[sunllghtt]

Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing

Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am

I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing

(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)

Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??

Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.

I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.

Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.

Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.

And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,

because

(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)

He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.

He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."

(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)

[giantkillerjack]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ulquiorra Cifer didn't think about Tousen much at all until he was out on the roof of Las Noches, practicing his second release, and meets the man, sitting alone with his face pointed up at the sky, and he asks Ulquiorra the most peculiar question:

"Are there any stars tonight?"

This was a peculiar question on several fronts:

This sounded like an invitation to engage in a social conversation, a bewildering activity under the best of circumstances, but particularly-

-with the shinigami Lords, and especially Lord Tousen who kept the same social schedule as a reclusive mountain hermit and was always extremely businesslike with a disregard for levity that Ulquiorra thought was refreshingly professional, so

-to hear him ask about the presence of stars was distressing in both that Ulquiorra hoped the man wasn't about to reveal a heretofore unseen saccharine side, and-

-worse, Ulquiorra wasn't actually sure about the existential quality of stars in general.

The arrancar became aware that he was running out of the socially acceptable time frame in which to respond to an Inquiry, and in his haste to avoid causing offense to his commanding officer, slipped up and answered honestly.

"...I don't know."

Tousen frowned, confused. "... you don't know?"

"No Lo- Mr. Tousen." Ulquiorra corrected himself, remembering the myriad corrections other Arrancar received. Perhaps this would divert the flow of this interaction.

"... what's stopping you from knowing?" Tousen asked, head slowly tipping sideways, intently listening at Ulquiorra.

The Arrancar was silent for a long time, glaring up at the sky.

"Mr. Cif-?" Tousen started to ask.

"I can see several thousand points of light in the night sky whose static position indicates but does not exclusively confirm that they are very large lights and extreme distance away." He started. "Many of these lights are recognizable from one night to the next, by consistent color, position and movement."

"Well, that certainly sounds like stars." Tousen nodded. "...so what makes you unsure?"

Ulquiorra was silent again for a long time, but the shinigami waited patiently.

"...My eyes are unusual."

He then failed to elaborate.

Tousen made a small waving gesture to encourage him.

"When I first became aware as the being I am now, I could only see." Ulqiorra finally spoke. "My mask wasn't so much a mask as a cocoon that encased my entire body. I could see, and sometimes feel if something made a particularly strong impact with my body, but. If anyone ever spoke to or called for me, I would not have heard. I did not smell, I did not taste, I did not eat. I was... entirely alone, inside and out."

Tousen frowned sympathetically at him.

"It was wonderful." Ulquiorra sighed. "Everything was beautiful. Everything was clear. If I could see it, it was real. If I could not, it was not. Back then, the stars were real.

"Eventually, I came to the corpse of a giant tree, something more real than anything else had ever been and I... I tried to embrace it, this thing of such wonderfully indisputable existential nature- and it broke the mask encasing my body, and I became 'Ulquiorra' as I am now."

"So... since you became an arrancar, and your senses expanded, the stars don't seem real anymore?" Tousen tilted his head, puzzling.

"I- no. It's not the stars that have changed. It's the nature of what is and is not real." Ulquiorra muttered. "- and it wasn't breaking my mask that changed it. The nature of reality changed when I met Lord Aizen and the others and suddenly there are things that everyone acts like are real but there's no tangible or objective proof of them- like "Loyalty", or The So-Called Soul King Lord Aizen is so opposed to! They all talk about them like they're real observable things but there's nothing- Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry- You're so correct it's funny." Tousen apologized, trying to stifle the shaking of his shoulders.

"Why is my being right funny?" Ulquiorra grumbled, eyes narrowing.

"It's not that important. Tell me about the stars." He smiled, patting the roof beside him, indicating Ulquiorra should sit beside him.

With a resigned sigh, Ulquiorra sat down beside the Shinigami.

"Its frustrating to no end- I feel like I'm going mad sometimes when Lord Aizen goes on his monologues about the throne of heaven- I mean, he has a perfectly good chair right here, what does he want with one in another dimension?" Ulquiorra huffed.

"I'm not sure either!" Tousen bared his teeth in a way that only sort of resembled a grin. "As far as things that only sort of exist- You do know that just because something is intangible, or only exists as a social construct, that it's still real, right? For a given value of Real, at any rate."

Ulquiorra stared blankly at him. "What."

Tousen sighed deeply. "Just because a thing is only perceptible to some senses, doesn't mean it's not real. Our senses are quite limited really- only a narrow range of sounds are audible, we only have chemoreceptors for a handful of chemicals- even your eyes can only see a very narrow slice of the full spectrum of light."

Ulquiorra huffed. "I'm aware. But they're still demonstrably real- A hollow with the power of invisibility will eventually bite me. And if it doesn't, then what does it matter to me if it's real or not?"

"Perhaps you would like to know if the invisible hollow is real *before" it bites you?" Tousen asked, resting his cheek on his knuckles and listening at Ulquiorra with interest.

The Arrancar made a low rumbling noise and looked away but didn't disagree.

"The trick is that things that are not immediately perceptible can be inferred by the effect they have on the world around them." Tousen explained. "If nobody had ever told me about the moon, I might have lived in ignorance- it's not like I can hear or smell it, and it's too far to touch. But I might have deduced it's existence by the way it causes tides, and how it changes the behavior of animals with its phases."

"...Hm. Much to think about." Ulquiorra muttered, desperate to get out of this conversation, but didn't get up. They passed sometime in nearly companionable silence, Ulquiorra staring up at the stars.

"...You can't see the moon." Ulquiorra realized. "You're not effected by Aize-MPF!" Ulquiorra was suddenly tackled by Tousen, hands over the Arrancar 's mouth in an exceptionally dangerous maneuver- but something about the fear in his expression made Ulquiorra hesitant to bite his fingers off. The shinigami listened to the night around them, reiatsu unfurling like the wings of some great beast, before he slowly let go and sat back.

"-my apologies, but even discussing suigetsu is a dangerous business." Tousen sighed. "Trust me, I'd know." He laughed darkly.

"-but you'd know if someone else was under the effects of Suigetsu?" Ulquiorra demanded, sitting up and grabbing the shinigami's shoulders. "I- I know only some of us are- certainly Barragan, and I think Hallibel too- but Starrk isn't! I don't know why, but I heard Aizen telling him that he wanted Starrk to 'see me exactly as I am', whatever that means-"

"asshole." Tousen grunted, untangling himself from the Arrancar. "-not you, Aizen. You're worried he's gotten his hook- AUGH!" The shinigami yelped , falling back and clutching his shoulder.

Ulquiorra stared as Tousen struggled to sit up again, an uneasy feeling growing in him, like the hole in his chest was growing.

"I thought perhaps Aizen had left me alone so I could deliver reports to him with my eyes unaffected, but..." He watched Tousen, panting with pain. "...there's something else going on, isn't there?"

"I can't talk about it but- yes, I think I can help." Tousen nodded, starting to undo the buttons of his coat. "Have you ever seen my back before?"

"...No." Ulquiorra frowned.

"Good, good- try to imagine what you think it looks like. You don't have to say, just think about it until you have a firm concept." Tousen nodded. "Got it?"

"Yes." Ulquiorra said, bewildered, them even moreso when the shinigami turned his back to him and dropped his coat.

"Does my back look about how you expected, or different?" Tousen asked, voice strained with an emotion Ulquiorra couldn't quite identify.

"Different." Ulquiorra stared, the sickening sensation growing to almost intolerable levels at the sight of the mutilated flesh- nails pounded into Tousen's spine, characters hapazardly craved into his shoulders. "Very different."

"Then you are not under the influence of Suigetsu." Tousen sighed with relief, pulling his coat back on. "I can't talk about it but- there are hidden depths to Aizen's depravity."

"I see." Ulquiorra muttered, still not getting up. Despite having his question answered and Tousen unable to discuss it further, it somehow felt wrong to leave just yet.

Another wordless void between them, filled only with Tousen's pained panting and the incessant desert wind.

"There are many thousands of what I am now reasonably sure are stars out tonight." Said Ulquiorra and the barking noise Tousen made was somewhere between joy and agony.

"...Thank you, Ulquiorra." Tousen smiled weakly. "Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me."

"... would you like to hear the rest of the report, Sir?" Ulquiorra asked, unsure why, save for a peculiar notion that it was the correct thing to offer.

"Please?" Tousen asked, still pained.

"...there is a very large but non-discrete band of light and shadow spanning the sky from the northwest horizon to the southeast one. It is not quite directly overhead, but if it follows it's normal trajectory, it will pass over us in half an hour..."

AEIWAM Question: What do the various Espada Think of Tousen? Follow-up question, will they, the bunch of dumbasses that they are (because Aizen made them for loyalty, not thinking), declare him their unquestioned leader once Aizen, Gin and Urloquia fork off to see the cosmic taffy pull (also presuming that Barrigan winds up face down in a ditch per canon)?

Bless you for asking this, I needed something to chew on. I'm going to answer these one at a time because the post would be insanely long, and how the thought of him Before the Battle of Karakura Probably:

---

Aaroniero and Arruruerie are SURE they've met before, and that they owes the man a debt of gratitude.

It's possible, they suppose. They have consumed and absorbed the memories of so many hollows that maybe they remember the face from a hollow he killed.

At least, that's what they hope is going on.

But they have Nightmares. Not of being pursued by Shinigami but of being the Shinigami in hot pursuit. Dreams of walking through a city, surrounded by humans that adore them. Names and Faces- Rukia and her dipshit older brother, Jushiro with the nice couch they sometimes pass out on after long nights- if Jushiro's husband wasn't already there. ...Memories, of meeting each other, and falling in love. How it felt as natural to look up to her as it was to gaze at the moon. How waking up to him felt as natural as the dawn. Memories of being married by Captain Ukitake, after Tousen had done them the inexplicable favor of organizing the whole party and acquiring wedding rings. He loves organizing things for people. Ukitake had smiled. Especially weddings. I just hope it's not guilt from the one he didn't get to. His husband had frowned.

That's impossible, of course. They know who they are, how they arose from the vile muck in the shadowy pits of Hueco Mundo. They never stood in the sun one late afternoon, to marry, not with how it burns.

...and yet.

There's no harm in being polite, right? They don't mind locking Glottineria in it's scabbard with an audible click when he comes into the room, to affirm lack of hostilities. Or giving him the cup of tea Aizen gives everyone at his insufferable meetings afterwards- it's not like they can drink it! ...And if sometimes, when they've been working late in the lab studying the effects and causes of Hollowfication, when Tousen gets tired and starts to call them "Kaien" and "Miyako"-

-Well, what's the harm in answering in the voices he expects to hear?

[lord-squiggletits]

NGL I think one of my least favorite "gotchas" that I see/get while critiquing stories is "so how would you fix it? oh so you don't have an idea of how to rewrite the story to make it better? oh so basically you're just complaining that you don't like it and don't have actual critique."

Buddy.

Sometimes the reason I don't have a "solution" to how the author should've rewritten their story to be better, is because I'm not privy to the author's thought process, what their alternate story ideas were, what they talked about with their editor, what they might've been forced to do by deadlines, or even what they might've thought they were writing towards at first but then later changed the trajectory of their story to be about something else.

It's all well and good for me to say something like, idk, "I think Character A should've gotten more narrative focus because their story could have helped fix XYZ Plot Hole," but it could very well be that the author never intended for Character A to be a prominent character (just a secondary or tertiary character). Maybe using Character A to solve one Plot Hole would've gone against the writer's plans because then it would open up a different plot hole for something else they had planned later in the story. If it's an ongoing story, maybe something I see as a "plot hole" is actually a deliberate mystery that the creator left open to write about later-- or maybe the plot hole is because there was a deadline crunch and the author had to drop a certain character/plot point/etc because they couldn't fit it into the story any more. Maybe having Character A be a more prominent part of the story is just based on MY personal tastes and what I would want to write in MY version of the story, but completely clashes with the characters/conflicts the author wanted to focus on.

Because yes, there are some story critiques that are as simple as "part A doesn't make sense, you could just fix it by doing B", but there are also some story critiques where suggesting a viable "solution" would require BEING the author or someone involved in the production of the story to understand what limitations or plans were involved in the selection of that flawed plot point. There are also some story critiques where even if there is a "problem" and my critique offers a "solution," there could be another "solution" or even dozens that do just as good of a job fixing the issue, but involve vastly different characters, plot ideas, so on and so forth.

Being a good critic isn't (just) about going "the story would've been better if X happened" because the story is ultimately in control of the author and their vision, and without knowing what the author's vision was (something that you almost exclusively know if you're 1. the author or 2. their beta reader), it's impossible to definitively say "this plot point should've been cut/[completely different thing] should've happened instead" because THAT is the point at which you're complaining, not critiquing. I would argue that in some cases, trying to "fix" a story yourself actually makes your critique worse, not better, because it ends up being a case of you simply imposing your artistic vision over the author's to say "I think it would've been better this way."

At least if you just say "this part of the story was flawed because XYZ" without saying "it should have been ABC instead", then you're stating your grievances with the story without being presumptuous enough to assume that YOUR version of the story would fit the author's original vision, or the constraints they were working under, or the other versions of the story that they were debating over at the time before ultimately settling on one version (even if flawed).

There's a point at which "this plot is flawed, that should've happened instead" is just fix-it fan fiction and not actual critique that could help the writer write their story in a way that fits their vision.

[wonder-worker]

J.L. Laynesmith taking the 'Buckingham Did It™' route for the murder of the Princes in the Tower AND the rumors of Edward IV's bastardy ... I have to laugh

[blurryface-never-left]

My interpretation of my favorite lyrics in Overcompensate

"You pick who you serve" : Religion is a choice. You choose which God, which faith aligns with your beliefs. Whether you believe its a choice or not(minus cases with indoctrination), you put your faith in your God on your own accord.

"Battle the masses" : There are people who do not believe in your God, and do not want to follow their teaching or live your lifestyle. In many religions, this is frowned upon. A level of superiority reigns heavy in many organized religions. A narrative that everyone must be 'saved' in order to reach true salvation. This is ingrained in the minds of many religious people, who are taught to spread their gospel in order to reach paradise(or feed the thought that this action is of good faith, desiring others to experience good things in both life and death). It becomes a battle of control, where religious organizations feel as though they are at war with those opposing their beliefs. Battling those they claim to want to save.

"Get kicked to the curb, for passing the classes" : There are religious people who don't let a superiority complex develop, and actually, genuinely want to help others(even if the actions they perform are not as helpful as they intend them to be). They still follow the word of God, they follow the lifestyle set out by Him, but they don't participate in indoctrination. You can follow the rules, the practices, the teachings, but if your not willing to spread the message unto those who do not want to be a part of it, your not doing enough. You need to be focusing on other peoples lives more than your own it seems. Many religious folks who don't want to do that are often ostracized from their own community. It doesn't matter if you are living by the word of your God, if your not making others do it too, your not a good enough believer.

Haven't gotten too deep into the "half empty half full, save half of ya taxes" lyrics. I heavily believe the lyrics above are a criticism to organized religion(which is pretty much what Dema and the Bishops represent les be real here). I believe the "overtake your former self" is in reference to the changes Tyler/Clancy has made over the years. Going from a blind believer in a religion, to questioning his faith and moral standing.

I also think it could be tied to the new power Clancy has within the story. It has its meaning in reality, but another meaning within the storyline. I think its hinting at another change we're seeing in Clancy.

[musical-chick-13]

Girl help, I talked myself out of writing a fic because I was worried about being Harassed™

[tsengratio]

i think it's important to remember SOLDIER is like, a military. While they likely work on other missions due to the more fantasy setting of the series, the primary purpose is to fight in wars. Or, more accurately, to intimidate or crush any opposing parties