#I don't know how to went from having a brain child to having a 13 page chapter one
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ishipthis · 2 years ago
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So I know that you're all patiently waiting for the next chapter of I didn't see this coming, and it's on its way, I promise. (Unexpected emergency room visit be damned!) Butttt in an unexpected turn of events, during all the shenanigans, me and one of my absolute favourite people @gleektasticklaine started writing a new fic together that is going to blow your minds!
Seriously, we are SO EXCITED about it.
So yes, I didn't see this coming IS coming. BUT, so is something else, and it will cruising in to Ao3 and your dashboards sooner than you think. ;)
It's going to be a splash!
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allieslittlewritings · 10 months ago
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*not my gif <3
Baby Girl
Summary: Spencer getting a baby daughter
Set in: Season 13-14
Warnings: Spoilers for seasons 8-13 of Criminal Minds, vague mention of abortion, bad writing, an oc!mom
Word count: 900-1k
A/n: I've never posted a fic before so if this sucks and nobody sees it I'm sorry <3
Spencer always thought in an ideal world, he would have children.
He never bothered to think of how many, knowing that would be more up to his future wife than to him.
He'd always just assumed he'd get married before having children one day.
After everything that had happened to him, Maeve dying, going to prison, the shit Cat had pulled, finding out his mom had Altzheimer's, and everything else that was certainly less than ideal, he'd started to think more and more that he simply wasn't meant to be a dad.
When a girl he'd only gone on a few dates with, months ago, told him she needed to talk to him, he was confused.
Emma was a nice girl, they just didn't fit well together so their relationship didn't last long.
She'd asked him to meet her at a random coffee shop.
He had the idea of her being pregnant for one second before he convinced himself that was ridiculous.
He entered the coffee shop Emma had chosen and went to sit accross from her.
Some boring small talk followed about how their careers and lives were going.
"Spencer, I'm pregnant," Emma finally blurted out, clearly nervous.
Spencer had heard a lot of radicalizing things in his life.
A lot of unexpected things had happened to him. In his line of work, a lot of things altered his perspective and way of thinking.
This one was different.
"You're..." he trailed off in shock.
"Look, I'm gonna be honest, I don't want the baby, but I'm too far along now to get an abortion. I'm about to start looking for potential adoptive parents, but I thought maybe you'd want input on who it goes to, too."
As muddled and confused as Spencer's brain felt, he immediately replied, "No. I'll take it. I mean, I'll take care of it. Of the baby."
"Are you sure you want to do that? You've already got a lot on your plate..." She pointed out.
"I'm sure," he said softly, without an ounce of hesitation.
Spencer was in an odd haze everytime he remembered he was about to become a parent.
He knew it wouldn't be easy, taking care of a child and having such a demanding job.
But he also knew he could never live with the knowledge that he had a child somewhere and they're not with them.
If they're with him, he can keep them safe.
He could make sure his child didn't grow up alone, like he did.
Spencer and his baby's mother sat quietly in a waiting room.
Spencer was attending his first ultrasound.
He sat, in thought.
A nearly empty cup of coffee in his right hand.
His lip was being lightly picked at with his left.
He took one last sip of his coffee and went to throw the now empty cup away.
His sweaty hands were starting to annoy him.
The restless feeling wouldn't go away.
Emma's name was called and the pair went into the ultrasound room.
Spencer picked at his fingers as he watched Emma and the ultrasound tech set everything up.
Lost in thought, he didn't hear any of the little things the women talked about.
Everything in him froze when he heard it.
A heartbeat.
His baby's heartbeat.
"So, would you like to know the baby's gender?" the doctor asked.
The women looked at Spencer, waiting for an answer.
He stood dumbfoundedly, staring at the grainy image of his baby on the moniter.
Their heartbeat still the loudest, best thing he'd ever heard.
"Spencer?" Emma gently nudged him.
Spencer finally snapped out of his haze and quickly wiped away a stray tear rolling down his face.
"Sorry, what were you saying?"
"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" the doctor asked again.
"Uh, no. No, I want it to be a surprise." His eyes remained on the moniter, he couldn't pull his eyes away from it.
Spencer prepared for the day Emma gave birth as best he could.
He was actually grateful for his sabbaticals now, it gave him a lot more prep time.
He read about a hundred books on labor and childbirth.
And give or take twice as many on actual parenting and child care.
He did as much research as humanly possible.
But one thing he'd learned over the years, was no matter how much research you do or how many books you read, the actual topic you're researching and preparing for is never quite the same.
His anxiety in the last few weeks before the baby came skyrocketed.
Worry overtook him nearly every minute of the day.
What if he hasn't done enough?
What if there's something important that slipped his mind?
What if he'll actually be a terrible father and he'll mess up the best thing to ever happen to him?
What if he-
"It's a girl!" the doctor announced.
Much like when he heard his daughter's heartbeat for the first time, he froze.
A girl.
He had a daughter.
She was here.
He watched as the doctors and nurses scurried around doing things, to make sure his baby was well and healthy.
His baby.
He had a baby.
He couldn't take his eyes off of her.
Covered in blood and vernix, his daughter.
Her loud, very infant-like cries filled the room.
Not a new sound to the doctors, they continued with their routine work.
It was the most grounded Spencer had felt in months.
She was here.
His baby was here and she needed him almost as much he needed her.
Spencer tiredly rubbed his eyes, the wide range of emotions from the day catching up to him.
He walked tiredly to the room where Y/N was, a hint of confusion on his face.
The exhaustion was evident in his posture and his droopy eyes.
But now was not the time to sleep, he was walking to go be with his daughter.
He entered the room she was in and sat down in a chair next to the basin his baby lay in.
"Hi," he whispered to her, gently resting his hand on her tiny stomach.
His baby gurgled and looked up at him with big eyes.
A tired smile graced his face as he gently stroked his daughter's head.
He could stay there forever.
Just him and his daughter.
She was the most the beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"We're gonna be okay, aren't we?" He quietly asked her.
His baby gripped his finger with her hand, continuing to quietly make baby noises.
"Yeah. We're gonna be okay."
fin. ♡
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dilly-dahlia · 3 months ago
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I am absolutely loving all the lore for your rewrite so far, I am absolutely eating this up! But I just had to ask:
What about Dante?
You've done analysis on how you are rewriting Laurance and Garroth, that's 2/3 of the main guards. But I haven't seen anything about Dante (or most other characters for that matter but I'm speaking PD guards here (also I have a current Dante hyperfixation so the boyo is corrupting my brain))
If you don't have anything right now then that's fine, I was just curious about our beloved blue haired guard
listen. first of all shhh about the fact that i haven’t analyzed/rewritten a lot of characters because let me tell you. originally i had a hierarchy of the order i was gonna do these characters in and it looked something like this
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and then it started getting confusing when I got to Gene and Sasha so I did in fact give up with the hierarchy and started freeballing. but that’s irrelevant ANYWAYS-
DANTE ACCARDI!! that’s the last name I gave them. i don’t have a lot for him yet tbh :( but here’s what I have so far!!
so he’s like, seven years younger than Gene (his mom had Gene young, and soon after having Gene his father died in this timeline so Dante is only Gene’s half-brother). and when Dante was younger (I mean like 4/5 young) he and Gene were super duper close. like Gene loved that kid with all his heart and actually ended up wanting to become a guard to protect the little guy
and another reason Gene wanted to protect Dante initially is because most of the population in Borobos is a magicks user or witch or warlock or mage or something divine. everyone has some form of something and a very very small percentage don’t. Dante is part of that small percentage, and because of that he got bullied A LOT. Gene would help by erasing/changing Dante’s memory of it, but obviously when he went to the guard academy he couldn’t do that
not to say that Dante’s parents were neglectful but uh… they did focus a little more on Gene because not only did he actually possess magic but he was a brilliant fighter (like he was head guard of Borobos after graduating the academy in no time). I feel like there’s a specific phrase or word for kids in Dante’s position but the only thing coming to mind is glass child but I know that’s not it anyways
so because Dante was sort of like unintentionally pushed to the side and bullied, he spent a lot of time by himself once Gene had gone off to the guard academy (in my rewrite children typically go just before they turn 13 and stay until they graduate at 18/19. they will come home maybe once a year. there are a few cases in which teenagers (14/15) are accepted, and their graduation is based on how they do) and to sort of occupy his time and distract from the loneliness, Dante poured his entire self into school and reading and became very book smart in an attempt to garner his parents attention
(side note but his parents are the married couple that should have been divorced.)
at some point Dante started learning a couple tricks to stun anyone that tried to jump him, so he was always covered in bruises. and when Gene came back, Dante had that extra layer of protection again. Dante was like 10 when his brother came back
I’ve kept the backstory regarding their falling out mostly the same from what I remember (I haven’t reached that part in my rewatch quite yet), but I did change a couple things
so let’s talk about Gene for a second. Gene is very headstrong and passionate and very one track mind. like once he gets an idea in his head, he does whatever it takes to get what he wants. (he’s also like, misogynistic but that has nothing to do with the incident with girl he fell in love with, noooo (sarcastic)) so like at first it was protecting his little brother, and then he put his heart and soul into the guard academy and becoming head guard of Borobos, which happened when he was about to turn 20 (he IS the youngest head guard in recorded history). so when he came back, Gene put his entire heart and soul into dedicating himself to his village, and Dante looked up to that, and decided he wanted to become a guard as well
now, remember when I said Gene does whatever it takes to get what he wants? so basically when he falls in love with the lord’s daughter, he starts telling Dante all about it. like she could literally just pass by them in the plaza and Gene goes
“That’s my future wife. Perfect as always. Irene, she’ll be the perfect mother and wife, don’t you think, Dante?”
and like Dante’s always been weirded out by these comments because like… it’s weird to him, especially with the possessive tone Gene takes on when talking about her. think like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast
and like two years go by, Dante is 12 and about to enroll into the guard academy, and then it all goes to shit
so I haven’t really touched the stuff where Gene went to change the girl’s memory and i don’t really plan to? because I kind of want Dante to like idolize his brother and then Gene goes and does that and Dante’s world comes like crashing down
but anyways Gene dies :) Dante is devastated for a little bit because Gene was actually like, one of the only people that ever really paid attention to him so now Dante feels like he’s ALONE alone, but it’s okay. because Dante’s going to go to the guard academy soon and then he’ll be a fantastic guard like his brother right?
WRONG! basically what happens is Gene comes back. same shit happens. Gene erases and changes everyone’s memory of Dante, and Dante is forced to run off to his uncle. he spends longer in the woods than he intended because he forgot the way there, and he finds himself in a different village where he catches a ride in a caravan to his uncle’s village (when he’s older, Dante realizes how lucky he was to have come across good people)
and remember how he was about to go to the guard academy? yeah, he doesn’t end up going. he’s so distraught over everything he goes into a dark pit of depression for a while, and it isn’t until he has a nightmare about Gene that he decides to enroll again
Dante is a very rare case for the guard academy. he started attending when he was almost sixteen years old and graduated on the Jury List only three years later just before he turned nineteen. initially, the academy was very hesitant to accept him because he was older than most new students, but also because he had no record of a life before he was thirteen. so they wondered if this kid just appeared out of thin air? what’s his deal?
but they decided to take him in. Dante already knew a couple combat techniques because Gene had taught him, and that definitely helped boost him higher in the program. not only that, but Dante also just had incredible intelligence for the written exams and passed nearly all of them with a perfect score. he was a quick learner and able to easily and quickly adapt to the changes around him, and soon enough Dante was the quickest graduate the academy had ever seen
(another side note, but Dante always had the ability to be stronger than Laurance and Garroth before the 15 year skip, the only thing holding him back was inexperience. when he shows up in my rewrite, Dante is 20 whereas Garroth is almost 29 and Laurance is 28, so they both have nearly a decade of experience over him. not to mention they both actually followed the normal schedule for guard academy graduates)
that’s all I have for his backstory right now. i’m also still coming up with his hairstyles throughout the series (hair symbolism is a very big part of my rewrite in letting the reader know where the characters are at mentally) but I do have a couple just stray headcanons and things i’m changing so here they are:
Dante develops a fear of passing time after Aphmau and them disappear into the Irene dimension. he’s scared that he’ll die before knowing what happened to Aphmau, who he came to consider a sister, and everyone else that went with her. he stayed in Phoenix Drop all those years but it was a very big debate with himself about whether or not he should leave just so he can let go. and after Aphmau comes back, Dante still has a fear of time and hates being late to anything—he’s always early
he and Nicole actually did get married. the two made a short trip to Meteli and got married under Cadenza’s ministry (many lords, head guards, and second in commands hold the power to officiate marriage, especially if the village is small). they were only married for a short time, though, before Nicole received notice of her father’s death. it was after she found out that she had to go back to Scaleswind to inherit the city, but Dante just couldn’t go. the two never officially divorced, but they don’t consider themselves to be married after Nicole leaves
okay thats fr all i got now i hope you enjoy this and eat it up as much as you did my analyses of Garroth and Laurance 🫡
and if y’all want more on specific characters just drop an ask i will gladly answer because it forces me to think about it
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lilderitter · 4 months ago
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Hello Wise and Knowledgeable One 🙂‍↕️ Would you have any more information about the gang's ages by any chance ? There's this post (https://www.tumblr.com/the-unconquered-queen/746575140157014017?source=share) from @the-unconquered-queen compiling all the canon info to try and determine how old they all are, and I was thinking you and the other writers probably had fun conversations about this, maybe even choosing birthdays...? 👀
Hello! What a very kind greeting when I am just a muppet with a keyboard (albeit probably like a weird Dark Crystal-y muppet). Obligatory I'm not the lead, I was laid off from PB, this is my recollection/understanding, etc. That is an excellent post from the-unconquered-queen (a truly excellent username we stan the original icon always) and matches up to everything we had to work with in the text itself slash that we added in the case of charting Mal's timeline in the Guild. For our internal purposes, we generally tried to treat everyone like they were mid-20s when it came to art, but obviously the characters' life experience and developmental age differ wildly.
What do I mean by "developmental age"? Well, this was a very funny/weird conversation we had to have about Tyril slash the gaps between elf MC vs human and orc MC. Because of the way Book 1 is set up, Kade and MC have to be around the same age (with MC slightly older) regardless of the chosen race, which obviously presented some worldbuilding problems at first glance. If elves are longer lived, one might presume they develop more slowly biologically.
...Until you remember that the elves are a created race with a very specific purpose. Anyone who's been around a two-year-old can tell you that there are some parts of child development one would like to not prolong. And one needs to remember that the elves were created in a... delicate circumstance between Vali and Nifara. So the general understanding we came up with is that elves mature at the same rate as other races and then just... stop aging aside from Light Magic use (pending choices you can make in Book 2). So their current society has now adjusted their notions of what "maturity" is to put things in perspective to how they perceive time and aging. We added the jokes where Tyril talks about being "very young" (or small, I think he says in Book 2?) when he was in his teens to hopefully clarify this because the lore tablets in Book 2 and 3 were targeted toward world expansion rather than those kinds of clarifications, but it was likely too subtle/confusing. My bad!
Basically think about how we're often told in Medieval/Renaissance Europe that 13 is considered the correct age to get a job, get married, etc. We know cognitive science, and we know child development, so we know that the human brain doesn't "stop cooking" for a long while after that, but because of life expectancy, the Medieval Europeans often ended up starting everyone a lot younger in many cases back then. I don't think Tyril was necessarily acting like a toddler at 16, but I think he was probably still being treated like he didn't have full agency yet, because the elves' perception of time is skewed.
For Mal, when we set about his timeline, we had to think about both Wren and Maria, since we roughly knew when his mother died from Book 1, and we didn't want Mal leaving the Guild to put Wren in so much danger that she couldn't take care of herself when he went off adventuring and she stayed in town, so we needed her to be old enough to find a partner. In terms of trauma and emotional regulation, Mal's an interesting one because he's got several points in his life where he could get "developmentally stuck," from his mother's death to his first interaction with the Guild to joining the Reapers, etc. (I swear I will do that Mal mental health / trauma post at some point I swear.)
Nia is in her mid 20s but hasn't been let out of the Temple really until now so she's still bright eyed and bushy-tailed. This is especially fun to contrast with Imtura, who is of a similar age but was doing very, very dangerous things at a young age because she was an orc princess. She earned that captainship with blood, sweat, and tears and was risking her life as a really young kid, just like cabin boys did in our Golden Age of Piracy!
Aerin and Baldur do have a meaningful age gap (i.e. Baldur is too old to be pulling this shit.) because you know Aurinae planned that shit as much as she could. And she's an herbalist so she pretty much could plan it in terms of when things didn't happen. I don't think we ever nailed the gap down super firmly but I'd say the four to five year estimate makes sense. The big thing to remember is that Arlan doesn't plan on dying any time soon so while he doted on Baldur as an heir, I'd say turning 18, etc. wouldn't have been a big deal for either prince because they weren't expected to ascend the throne and royals are generally expected to behave with decorum potentially beyond their years even as children. (WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL BALDUR THAT.)
Valax potentially has a little bit of a Ship of Theseus situation but her memory goes back about 200 years. She's also got the whole child soldier thing going on developmentally so the power dynamic with MC is more complicated than like a standard vampire-mortal romance would be.
I know I didn't really give you exact ages, but that's on purpose. What we needed for the writing was the dynamic each amount of life experience created for the characters as they interacted with each other, so it's more important (and more relevant) that both Mal and Imtura have more life experience generally than Tyril, Nia, MC, and Kade because, you know, having your first job or your first several changes you as a person.
That said, our amazing lead writer did pick the gang's horoscopes way back in the day so I'd say feel free to use that to go nuts in speculating about birthdays. (This interview was also so weird to find again. And sad. Weird and sad. But look at baby me. How cute. And sad.)
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wynn-ing · 7 months ago
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just caught up with what remains and fuck im so invested in ur little guys - question tho, how long has each voiced been with their voices? i know eti had para for only a year at the start of the series, and pasha and hunted have been together for his whole life - but what abt the others? sorry if this was mentioned somewhere in whats already written my brain is swiss cheese
also i totally understand if u cant answer this for spoilery reasons
it's not really a spoiler at all! At most some of them may hint some things but nothing that'll make any sense unless it comes up, so here's the list;
Etti: as you said, since about a year before the first fic
Page: a few months before Etienne, so about a year and a half before the first fic
Locke: since they were like 16! Hero showed up in the middle of an exam and they got kicked out for shrieking at the top of their lungs. He's apologetic but they don't mind, it was only Physics. They weren't going to pass anyway, they didn't study for it at all.
Pasha: Hunted showed up when he was only 5. This went exactly as you'd expect for both of them
Loren: summoned the Wild when they were 13, after having been told by the doctor they had maybe 2 years left at best. They figured they'd give alternative medicine (read: summoning a literal god into their body) a chance. It worked! This was 3 years after they first met Pasha btw
Mal: she's had smitten for ... I don't know the exact number of years, she's being cagey, but she got him in uni so anywhere between 18 and 24 depending on when she went to uni. She likes to only reveal things to me when they're funny or dramatic so this info is new to me too. All I knew before was that she's had him for 'a long time'. I actually don't know her exact age either she won't say
Leonore: she's had Oppy for 5 years before her introduction into the book, and you saw the rest in realtime.
Envy: only had Cheated for a few months before their introduction into the story
Violet: similarly only had Contrarian for about 9 months before her introduction.
Kyra: has had Cheated for a year and a half.
Ghost: only got Cold like 2 days before his introduction into the story lol.
Alice: summoned Nightmare as a playmate when she was a child. She was only 15 in the first fic.
Foster: inherited their voice from birth
Forrest: summoned Witch like 2 months before being captured
Larissa: :) you'll find out
Uhhh did I get everyone? Lmk if I missed someone and feel free to ask follow up questions (except about Larissa. Got nothing good to say about her) but yeeeeasss I believe that's all of them! Thank you for being invested in my lil sillies I'm so happy <3 <3 yippeee!
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ovtsakaramel · 8 months ago
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Do you have anymore finnick/odesta head cannons i loved your first one!
So sorry this took some time to answer but heres the hcs
🩵Finnick never wanted piercings or tattoos or anything like this but when he had a crush on Annie and saw the kinds of guys she's into he just went to her and asked her to pierce his ear. She, with the experience of piercings her friends, agreed and was just so happy that he trusts her and actually talks to her, and not talking to her only when she goes to annoy him, immediately says yes. His ear got infected the next day but he didn't let her see him until he managed to get it under control so she won't feel guilty and he won't be like that one kid who got an Infection while all the others are cool and edgy. He ended up loving it, but no needles touched his body again.
🩵Finnick has some days where he just locks himself in his house and doesn't do anything and just sits there until the pain eats him alive and he falls asleep. The stinging rotting from the inside covering each organ, his mind already lost and there is nothing but the last face. Then the others. He's back there. The skin starts rotting too from every hit of the imaginary touch. The two rots meet each other in the middle layer of his body and send the destroying fire. He's numb now. Didn't move for the whole day. The numbness goes to his brain and he shuts down. The next morning he wakes up to a knocking too loud to be from anyone other than the woman always ready for an argument, the victor of last year's games - Annie Cresta.
"Wake up you piece of actual fucking shit! Finnick Odair! Wake up, motherfucking idiot!" The only thing that could make him wake up was a voice this annoying. The only motivation to wake up every morning was the hope that he could win in a fight with her. She was his only hope.
"Do I still bring you hope?" Annie is laying on his chest, he dark brown hair shining with a red essence from the morning sun. The red from the anger he had to her once was now the calming red of love that hits her hair with the sun.
"You're both my thirteenth reason and my only reason, fucking spawn of Satan." She throws the blanket over him and stands up, putting her red panties on. Well, maybe he didn't like red on her in one way. "Hey, take them off again, why standing up?"
"I'm mad." She says.
" -ly in love with me?" He gives her puppy eyes.
"Asshole. What you said it's not true."
"That you're my only reason to live? Or that you are my 13th reason?"
"That you have only 13 reasons"
"Ouch." Well, it didn't actually hurt. Sometimes making jokes was the only way to get through it. Thank God he had a girlfriend that can't take anything seriously.
She puts his shirt on and starts doing her makup. At that moment, he realized - there was another reason to live: to learn how tf can this 20 year old woman have the line drawing skills of a 3 year old child. And know that many swear words for every time she fucked up her eyeliner.
[All of these are headcanons that I planned to write separately, but I felt like if I did a car was gonna hit me tmrw] ok so this was also a little not really thought off and it's just a silly thing don't look a lot into if it's realistic or not
🩵Annie despises being called darling. But she is a sucker for baby and doesn't give a fuck about how cringe it is, she is cringe and will never stop being. She calls Finnick angel because since they kissed for the first time, there was nothing more ethereal and unhumanly nice than the man she used to despise.
🩵Annie may not cook, but she is a fire bartender.
🩵Finnick once stole a cigarette from Annie and will never tell her because she would make sure that he doesn't touch one again.
"Why can you do it then?"
"Because I'm fucked up and don't matter, I'm already way too far gone! I'm crazy! And you matter!"
"I'm far worse than you."
"Well I'm too far gone in loving you." She snaps the cigarette from his hand and takes a smoke.
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flipitkickit · 11 months ago
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you know what. fuck it. *posts entire phony wip in here*
WC : 3628
@wabatle @sillynene-13 since yall like phony
Chapter One - 02/01/2XXX
Death Corps. Everyone feared the four knocks on the door. Four, the unlucky number. That's when the Death Corps recruiters would come, forcing you to join the army. Everyone had to join, starting at the age of 13. I think they started doing it because of the amount of wars that have been going on lately. They need more soldiers to defend our crappy country. There were two ways you could get out of serving in the Death Corps: if you had some serious disability or if you were filthy rich. If you paid enough money, you could avoid going for half a year. If you keep paying, when you turn 35, they stop caring. My parents have been using the payment method of saving my brother and I for the past few years, up until now. The four dreaded knocks. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
I silently ran downstairs to overhear the conversation between my dad and the recruiter. The recruiter was a woman with blonde hair and dark brown roots. She had dark siren eyes and was dressed in an all black attire. She was utterly terrifying.
“Yes, Mr. Terry Black? We're here to enlist Mallory Poppy Black and Fitz Aster Black for their necessary Death Corps Service. We didn't receive any payment, and in the Death Corps Handbook, Section 37B it states if there is no payment to spare yourself from serving for a month, a Death Corps recruiter is obligated to come and take you or your children to training.”
“Recruiter, ma'am, we might've run out of money, but please don't do this to my kids. I'll pay double the amount next year.”
“I'm so sorry, Mr. Black. I cannot do that, I don't make the rules. I listen to the handbook. Can you please call them over?”
“Mallory, Fitz! Come down!” 
I went down first, my twin brother, Fitz, following shortly after. His face paled as he recognized the skull embroidered on the recruiters uniform.
“You're shitting me,” Fitz choked out.
“I'm so sorry,” My dad chanted as he squeezed us. “I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, please stay safe, my babies,” He was beginning to cry now. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to sob with him.
“Come with me, you two,” The recruiter ordered. Fitz and I followed her to her van. “Everyone in Death Corps has a code name. Mine is Guerilla. I am not telling you my real name, as per Death Corps Handbook section 1B. You two need to serve 18 months each.” She reapplied her cherry red lipstick before starting the van. “I'll be picking up more kids after. If any of you guys try to escape, you will suffer immediate consequences. What are they? You don't want to know.” 
“Guerilla scares me,” Fitz whispered.
“Real, if I have to serve in her regiment I don't know what I would do,” I whispered back. I couldn't shake the question off my brain, why can't she say her real name? Is it for privacy reasons? What if we did find her real name?
For those of you reading this story, sorry to interrupt, but I'm Mallory and I hate my life. My parents are divorced because they have absolutely no love for each other. The world is at a constant state of war. My twin brother is a weirdo. I probably won't get to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream for the next 18 months. But it could be worse?
The next person that boarded the van is some kid who looks our age. He was too busy crying to say anything about himself.
After that there was this one kid who just stared off into space for three minutes before talking. “My sister is in the Death Corps. I wonder how she's doing. She's almost done with her service.”
“What's her name, child?” Guerilla asked from the front seat.
“Eden. Eden Mendoza. I'm Wren, her little sibling,” The kid said. I could not tell the gender of that thing, and apparently, neither could anyone else.
“Oh, Himmel. Her left leg's been completely blown off I tell ya. Blood everywhere, it flew six or seven feet away from her, what a sight! But don't worry, she's doin’ better,” Guerilla informed. 
Fitz and I looked at each other, eyes both wide. The boy started crying harder. Wren's mouth was agape. “Her- Her leg was blown off??”
“Mhm, that's not even the worst I've witnessed on the battlefield. She uses a prosthetic leg now.” The fact Guerilla could say that with such a straight face shows how traumatizing serving for the Death Corps would be. I can't wait. (That's sarcasm, for those of you who are a little slow.)
After Guerilla collected all of the recruits, there were a total of eight people in the back of the van. Four boys, three girls, and one whatever the hell Wren was. The oldest in the van was a 21 year old man, the youngest was Wren, being 14 years old.
When we arrived at the camp, boy, was it crowded. There were varying expressions, from people trembling and crying to people being… excited to be here? You have a 51.6% death rate from serving in Death Corps, and you're excited? I wish I was that optimistic about dying. 
“Mallory, if I die, please hide my phone from Dad. One wrong click and he's going to bring me back from the dead and kill me again,” Fitz told me. I wonder how he'd feel knowing two years after he said that, I went through his phone and found out exactly why he said that.
“Same goes with me. If Dad found the drawings in my sketchbook, I'm done for.” I've never gotten along with Fitz well, but I guess it's easier to talk with someone when you're both in a life-or-death situation.
A loud siren came from way up front and a man who appeared to be around his mid-30's stepped up on the podium. “Welcome all Death Corps recruits. I am Eifrit, the current General of Death Corps. You are all gathered here today to serve your required 18 month term. You will undergo training and testing to decide which subunit is the most fitting for you. We wish the best for you, and as our founder would say, ‘Experiri non mori.’ Thank you.”
I think I'm going to start writing my suicide note. Death Corps, you guys can get a special shout out.
Chapter Two - 02/01/2XXX
“Alright, everyone from van SK431 come to this side! I will be doing a fitness test to see if you are fit to be in battle. I will be doing this with the aid of my helper, Andromeda. Introduce yourself, Andromeda!” Guerilla announced.
Andromeda was slightly shorter than Guerilla and had a nose piercing, a mole above her lips, split dyed black and white hair, and purple eyes that seemed as if they lost the glimmer in them a long time ago. “Hello trainees, my name is Andromeda, as Guerilla said, and I serve as a medic in the Death Corps. I will be doing a full body examination, and then we will run some exercises to test your stamina, dexterity, and strength. Any questions before we begin?”
“Ew a full body exam?? Are we going to like, have to strip naked or something?” Some ugly boy exclaims. He was one of the guys that were excited to be here.
“I don't want to see your small dick either, buddy. I have to do this, unfortunately.” Most of the group burst into laughter as whoever that guy was tried to come up with a comeback.
“Oh yeah? Well I bet um… Um… I bet you uh… You smell bad?!” That was the worst attempt at an insult I've ever seen.
Andromeda ignored his statement and moved onto the actual inspections. Fitz went first in a dingy tent with a caduceus on the front. He came back ten minutes later traumatized.
This part is icky and I'm sure you don't want to read it so I'll skip to the part after the whole medical exams. There were person shaped targets lined up and we were each handed a pistol. 
“You all have to shoot the targets. You get two tries, we'll be looking for people that have great accuracy,” Guerilla explained. “You kid, you're up first.”
Wren closed an eye and got into shooting position. The bullet hit a perfect bullseye.
“How did you do it? It was probably just a lucky shot!” A guy shouted.
“I'm used to shooting, my parents taught me when I was younger to prepare me for this. I prefer sniping more, though,” Wren said.
“You're hella good kid, shoot again?” Guerilla rested an arm on their shoulder. They nodded before getting back into position and shooting again, this time a little off from the bullseye. Guerilla wrote something down on a paper and let the weird guy– who's name I later learned was Lawrence– shoot. He used both his shots immediately and just barely hit the target. Guess we know who isn't going to be a shooter. Fitz was after two other people, and he did average. He hit pretty close to the bullseye the first time, and hit somewhere on the outer edges on the second try. I went last, and I had a stunning realization: I need glasses. And I need to find out which eye was my dominant eye. 
“Loser,” Fitz snickered. I elbowed him.
“This is why you're the one that was an accident,” I retorted. He didn't say anything back.
“Next up is close combat! Since there are eight people gathered here, we'll do this tournament style!” Guerilla seemed a little too enthusiastic to watch people fight each other.
First match was some random girl against Fitz. I'm not sure if pitting a girl against a boy is a good idea but equal rights, equal fights. The other recruits, Guerilla, and I watched as Fitz and the girl threw punches at each other. Fitz landed a punch on her nose, and I think something in that girl snapped because she kicked him right where it hurts the most. Everyone felt the pain Fitz felt as he fell to the ground with a groan.
“I win!” The girl smiled. She held her hand out to help Fitz up, but he swatted it away.
“I'm in extreme pain, I don't think I can get up yet,” Fitz groaned. Who's the loser now?”
“I know you can do it, Fitz. Get up if you want to survive,” Guerilla walked towards him and slightly nudged him with her foot. He got up immediately and stood right next to me.
I let him rest his arm on my shoulder as the next match started. It was Wren versus the 21 year old. Okay, these matches are getting a bit unfair now, aren't they? Wren probably just started going through puberty and they're fighting someone who's old enough to drink? The match started with Wren charging directly at the man, and the man retaliated by body slamming Wren on the floor. The thud was loud, but the silence after Wren's eyes closed was louder. 
“That was a child? You could've gone easier on the thing!” Guerilla squatted to feel Wren's pulse. “They're still alive, I'll go call Andromeda. You shouldn't have done that during training, but I like your attitude, man. You better show the same strength on the battlefield, soldier. I'll be back soon. Mallory, you look after everyone.”
The sound of Guerilla's boots hitting the ground decrescendoed as she left the training site. The man looked down on the floor where Wren laid and sat down. “Damn,” He said.
Damn indeed. 
Guerilla returned with Andromeda, who came to pick Wren up, with another girl by her side. She had the same chocolate eyes and facial structure as Wren. The doctor's coat and skirt were long, but not enough to cover the prosthetic leg she had. Was she Himmel? 
“Wren has a minor concussion, but they'll be fine with a little rest. When they wake up, tell them big sis says hi.” Himmel patted their hair before getting up. “Andromeda will supply the medicine to quicken recovery.”
“Thank you, Himmel. I'll tell you when the kid wakes up again.” Guerilla seemed like a genuinely nice person outside of the battlefield. “In the meantime, let's have our third match. Mallory versus Lewis.”
Lewis was the kid that was crying the whole trip here. When the match started, he stood and waited for me to attack. I was about to do the same until I realized that it was a pussy move. So I kicked his shins hard. He fell to the floor immediately and begged for mercy. I think what happened to Wren scared him.
“Mallory wins… I guess. I don't think that counts as much of a win, but great job?” Guerilla stared at Lewis with a pitiful expression. “I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Alright, fourth match starts in a minute!”
“You only won because Lewis is weak. If you went against anyone else, you'd lose,” Fitz told me. 
“You're not wrong.” I weigh 100 pounds and I am 5’6, of course I would lose against anyone that wasn't Lewis.
The fourth match was Lawrence versus a girl. These people need to say their names. I'm going to confuse the readers by saying “this girl” or “this guy” for the millionth time. I should use adjectives to make it a little easier to differentiate. Pink haired girl. That works.
Back to the story, I watched Lawrence win against the pink haired girl, but she put up a pretty strong fight. She seems normal, unlike Lawrence. She was crying a little in the van, but now she looks like she's just accepted her fate. Girl same. 
“What a fight, huh? Most of you guys did great. After Wren wakes up, we'll do an obstacle course,” Guerilla declared. An obstacle course doesn't sound too bad. I'm pretty quick, I have experience. By experience I mean running away from my brother after I eat the last piece of cake. But I'm sure it won't be that bad, right?
Right?
Chapter Three - 02/01/2XXX
I was wrong. It was that bad.
Wren woke up 30 minutes later after Andromeda and Himmel visited, confused. Hope they didn't get amnesia. Guerilla gave them some of the pain medication, but other than the confusion they seemed alright. 
“Sorry for knocking you out and giving you a concussion or something,” Wren's opponent apologized.
“It's okay. Maybe. I understand why you did that, I would've done the same.” Wren forced a smile. Really shitty apology, but good on them for accepting(?) it.
“Okay, now that Wren is back, it's time for the obstacle course. I'm tired of explaining so this should make sense. Y'all have seen obstacle courses before. Coming back in one piece is optional, I'll tell Andromeda to wait at the end and I'll stay here and make sure none of you losers cheat.” Guerilla does not get paid enough to deal with us and I feel her. 
It started with loser boy Lewis tripping and falling face first on the mud. I- along with many others- ran over him. Sorry Lewis. We had to jump hurdles, which almost led to my downfall. After that, it was climbing a cliff and landing the jump on a mattress. 
You get what happens during obstacle courses. I was neck to neck with pink haired girl for most of it until the final stretch, where I made it first. Fitz was third and Wren was behind him. Lewis was last, as always. This boy is a true example of a loser, Fitz, not me.
Guerilla decided to give us a break before starting an… intelligence test? Lawrence failed, as expected. Zero questions right, how does that happen? Fitz got half the questions right. I got 80%, good for me. Wren got one more question right than I did. I got outscored by a 14 year old. I need to evaluate my life choices.
“Folks, since we've completed all the tests, y'all get a break and tomorrow morning we have an assembly. There, you will get sorted into groups based on your performance today. I'm going to drink until I pass out, don't disturb me, your dorms are over there.” Guerilla pointed to a rundown shack. 
I only had one word when I walked in. Gross. Even my brother's underwear doesn't smell as bad as this place.
When I stepped in, it smelled like literal ass. There were four bunk beds, so I played safe and got a bunk above Fitz. The shower was freezing, but it felt refreshing to be able to shower. 
“Guys, appear normal. The troop leaders are doing a check on every training regiment and I want a raise. If you're on your best behavior, I'll let you sleep in an extra five minutes.” Guerilla entered our shack 45 minutes later when most of us were all freshened up. 
Waiting didn't take too long, because it was only two minutes after Guerilla announced a troop leader was arriving when one actually did.
Dear readers, I don't usually find anyone that attractive. But this troop leader? God damn, when I tell you she was fine! She had light blue hair that went to her lower back, a scar that started from her nose to above her right eye, electric blue eyes, and a tank top that revealed her arm muscles. She had a black cap sporting the Death Corps emblem on too. She looked scary in a different way than Guerilla did.
“This the training regiment from van SK431, correct? May I see the results of the tests?” She inquired. “To those who don't know me, my name is Lupus. I'm troop leader 172. Some of you guys might be in my troop, depending on your scores.” Please Lord let that be me. “Hey, Guerilla. This year we have a lot of interesting candidates, hm?”
“Yup,” Guerilla agreed, passing Lupus the papers with our scores, “Sirens little cousin is here, right? Van AE382? I recall working with Siren. Cool guy.”
“Mhm. He was a beast on the battlefield. Let's pray his little cousin is like that.” Even I have heard of Siren. One of the Death Corps best recruits. He killed a bunch of people and showed zero remorse. He left after his term was up, however. The top generals would pay him millions if it meant he would come back. If his cousin was coming here, maybe they would be just as badass as Siren.
Lupus examined the papers, eyes widening at some. “You have some good recruits, Guerilla, but…” Lupus whispered the second part to Guerilla.
“Mmm, we're probably going to put ‘im in the clean-up crew. Scores are underwhelming compared to everyone else in the group.” Of course they're talking about Lewis. The same Lewis who was, for some reason, fast asleep. For context, it was 5:21 pm. 
Lupus and Guerilla chatted about tomorrow and sorting us into troops. I also heard something about code names. The code names they suggested for me before they actually chose my current one were bad. If I had to tell people my name was Speedy I would leave Death Corps even if it meant they would hunt me down. I'll reveal what my code name was at a later point. For now, back to Lupus.
She left our shack, taking the papers to the higher ranks. Guerilla praised us and told us we were good little children for behaving and we would get our 5 minutes of extra sleep. Are we going to have our lesson on coloring in the lines next? Are we going to learn the alphabet? Guerilla was only three years older than the oldest person in our training regiment, so her treating us like kindergarteners doesn't make much sense.
The rest of the day was pretty eh. It was just me doodling in my sketchbook and talking to the only two people I was okay with talking to.
Lights out came shortly after I had finished one of my drawings. I can barely fall asleep on normal days, so of course me being on a bed that felt like a brick made it even worse. The next day we would finally figure out who would go where for extra training based on our strengths and weaknesses. I was going to be separated from Fitz and Wren. I was going to be in a war that changed everything.
Chapter Three Point Five - Why am I Here??
I should interrupt the story with some Death Corps lore. It all started with the war for more land. Humans are selfish beings, they always want more than what they have. they were willing to do anything for some land that was discovered. That land also happened to have a bunch of resources and riches, so that made the wars much worse. The war has been going on for just about a decade now. Every army is different, but in the country I'm in, it has the infamous Death Corps. Death Corps was founded by two siblings, Shams and Qamar. Their real names are unknown, but it was founded just before the war started. At first, it was just recruiting whoever wanted to join and whoever was strong enough. Then, they started getting desperate. They needed more support. They let in whoever wanted to join. The conditions worsened, and they had to resort to forcing everyone to serve in the army.
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tia-amorosa · 4 months ago
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Episode 13: First concerns?
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The next morning. It's just after 9:30 a.m. when Beau comes home after driving Emily to school and doing a few small things. The girl didn't want to take the school bus there on the first day. When he came in the door, he saw his wife sitting on the sofa. But she seemed slightly absent. “Victoria, is everything all right?”.
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When he turned his gaze to the same spot where his wife was looking, he gradually understood why she was so quiet at the moment. “You did… Didn't we want to do this together?”. She looked up at him, no further expression on her face. “I know… I'm sorry, I was… Just terribly curious… Beau”. Her voice sounded taken. “What, is something wrong?”.
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When he realized how nervous she was, he sat down next to her. “What are they writing? Have we brought a ticking time bomb into our house or…"/ „Oh God, no“ she laughed a little for a moment. But then she immediately became serious again. “That poor girl has been through so much in her young life, it's unbelievable.” Beau took a quick look at the many sheets of paper lying on the table, then looked back at his wife. “Okay, let's talk about it”.
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Victoria also looked over all the sheets of paper she had spread out on the table and collected her thoughts once again. “Well, I… I don't know where to start. Well, when she was born, her mother was heavily addicted to drugs, and had probably been for some time. The little one was born with severe withdrawal symptoms. Also… babies born to drug-addicted mothers often have severe malformations of the brain or heart”.
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“does Emily have…"/ ”such birth defects? No, that's the amazing thing. Despite her mother's severe addiction, she's perfectly healthy. It's just that the withdrawal symptoms must have been very severe. That's actually bordering on a miracle. “ Victoria gestured excitedly with her hands. / “And what about her mother now?”
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Victoria leaned back a little on the sofa. “The letter said that she wouldn't have been able to look after Emily due to her severe addiction. She have tried rehab several times, but always relapsed. The drugs were probably more important to this woman than her own child"/ ‘I think … once you've been heavily addicted, you can't get away from it’.
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“Hh, yes. Her mother took her own life about a year after Emily was born. We don't know anything about the father."/ ‘And what about the rest of the family?’/ ”They all had some kind of problem and didn't want to take the little one into their care. She was very difficult in the first two years, cried a lot and had tantrums”.
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“In the end, someone in her family decided to give Emily up for adoption. “/ “So she's not an orphan, she's just…”/ “Unwanted. Then she was with different foster families, for different lengths of time. But she didn't feel particularly at home anywhere. The whole thing went on for almost 5 years”.
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“So they decided to put her in an orphanage. She was there for 4 years"/ ‘that must have been terrible for her’/ ”Well, not so much, according to the reports. She seems to have developed very well, she's very intelligent, inquisitive… And she's been examined a lot to see if she might have any developmental disorders. Hn, now i understand why she doesn't like doctors very much.“.
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“I would have that too if they kept sending me to them to get checked out. At some point you no longer have any trust…"/ ”Mhm. Well, anyway, there have often been encounters with potential adoptive parents who would have liked to take her. But she really has a mind of her own. “/ “Sounds familiar, hn,” Beau said with a deep laugh.
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The two were silent for a moment. Until Victoria turned to her husband. “Do you think she chose us for any particular reason?"/ ”Who knows. And if she did, then of course I hope it was for a good reason.” She looked down at her hands for a moment. “I've had a good feeling about her so far, Beau. I'm just… A little scared“/”of what?”.
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She looked her husband in the eye again and her voice became a little softer. “She's still so innocent, Beau and I… I don't want her to go off the rails one day… Like her mother"/ ”Hey, it doesn't have to happen again, okay? We'll teach her the right values and teach her what's good and what's bad. And I'm sure she'll know a lot of things for herself and find out for herself”.
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“Don't worry about it. I have a lot of contact with other parents through my work and we still have our friends. So if we ever need help, we're not alone…”. Victoria held his hand tightly in hers. “You're right. We can do this together. I can't wait to see how her first school day goes"/ ‘I'm sure she'll tell you about that later’. She smiled and gave her husband a kiss. “I'm going to put the papers away now. That's Emily's past. Let's concentrate on the future now.” He nodded at her. They had a big responsibility now and knew how to deal with the situation.
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@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @plumbobgothica ⭐
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lumine-no-hikari · 5 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #403
Ohhh, today's letter to you is being written very late. It is currently 2am as I write this. Goodness me.
This morning, J awoke me sometime around 4am; he had intended to go out in his plane and land on an ice runway upon some lake. The ice itself was some 13 inches deep, and so it was plenty sturdy enough to support a number of airplanes upon it. Naturally, I was worried about him doing a thing he had never done before (especially since the crash...). But... I can't stop him from trying new things or pursuing what he's passionate about. I can express my discomfort and make suggestions, but at the end of the day, he has to be free to choose what is right for him.
He took a number of beautiful pictures along the way, too; here:
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I went back to bed until 8am; today is Saturday (I know it's technically Sunday, but I've not slept yet, so...), so I was scheduled to work at the bakery. I got these pictures of birds on the sign out front as I walked in:
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Given what I wrote about on Thursday, I was a bit on edge despite my best efforts. So I sang a lot to try to make sure my brain doesn't allocate too many resources to my amygdala; one of the best ways to stop a flashback in its tracks is to prevent it from happening in the first place, and if you're using too many areas of your brain at once (such as one does when singing), there's not enough RAM leftover in your brain for your amygdala to take over and mess up all your shit.
Singing is by far my best defense against flashbacks. More people should do it. You should try it, too.
I got a number of things done, but once again, I was a little too busy to have any chances to take yummy pictures for you. You've got my sincerest apologies.
A thing happened today though that made me really glad that I suspended judgment on the new manager (he's called Dy), despite the initial impression I had of him. First impressions are often the least accurate, and I know what it is to have people judge me based on their first impression of me, and... it's not good. I like to think that on a good day, I'm pretty okay at gathering more data before jumping wholly upon some weird conclusion. I like to think I'm pretty okay at charting out potential trajectories instead of definitively settling upon one as though that is objectively what reality is.
He came into my department today to talk to Tr. And to my surprise, he talked to me, too. And he asked me how I am doing. I hesitated a moment before asking him permission to speak freely. And he granted me that permission, so... I basically told him everything I told you on Thursday. I told him that although ordinarily I am kind and loyal and willing to do anything, and that I am more than happy to sweep a floor anytime, the fact that he gestured in ways that were impossible for me to understand because he had not invested time and energy into building mutual vocabulary or understanding with me, or even into learning my name, left me feeling afraid that he thinks of me as nothing more than a clicker-trained animal. And so, I said that if he wants to be able to use gestures like that to communicate with me, he has to build that vocabulary with me first.
...And he listened. He didn't get angry. And he seemed... appreciative of the fact that I stated what I was thinking in a very precise, matter-of-fact, and non-sugarcoated way. I was surprised at this. I have lots of experience with people in leadership positions feeling the need to be king of their little anthills, so to speak, and getting very upset whenever anyone dares say or do or think or feel anything that they don't like. I'm relieved to come to the understanding that Dy is not such a person.
...Good grief, but maybe I've worked a little too long in a tech field... and spent too much time around abusive adult overlords as a child. Today's events around this is simply more proof that I've got more learning and growing to do. But that's all right; we're humans. And the only humans who don't have learning and growing to do are dead ones.
...As it turns out, the gesture was intended for Tr, who, at the time, was directly behind me without me knowing. Tr, with whom Dy had spent a little time building that mutual vocabulary so that she could understand his meaning. I suddenly felt very silly, because, once again, to literally no one's surprise, my brain had worked itself up into a worried tizzy, coming up with possible explanations for a non-issue.
...If you've been reading my letters up until this point, I'm sure you're not surprised at all, either.
In the end, Dy and I came away from the interaction feeling warm towards each other and each of us having a better understanding of the other. I got to give him one of the kiwi-flavored gummies that I got from Mitsuwa, and that made me very happy.
I'm looking forward to future interactions with Dy. I'm going to miss Jo, but... I think Dy will be nice to work with, too.
I went home after that. Su dropped by to help me apply for two state jobs. I now have an understanding of the formatting they're looking for, and the minor details of the process (it varies from employer to employer... sigh...). I sent out applications for two positions – one that focuses more on writing, and another that focuses on both writing and a little programming. I'll probably send out more in the coming days. Here's hoping that they could use someone with my set of skills.
M and I went to go visit R's house after that; An from work was unable to come with us because his duties at the grocery store left him too tired and worn out, which is certainly understandable. There will be other opportunities for him to join us in the future, if he so wishes!
R's brother and his brother's girlfriend (V) arrived shortly after M and I did. R put together a beautiful platter full of snacks for us! Check it out!!
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I continued working on my silly crafting project as V and I talked at length about a variety of topics relating to trauma, psychology, and the kinds of coping mechanisms people develop in response to various forms of adversity. M didn't stay for very long because his social battery drains quickly. But J arrived shortly after M left, and the conversation picked up right where it left off.
R made bibimbap in the meantime. I helped a little by chopping the carrots and cucumbers. Here were the results:
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I did most of the dishes in R's sink shortly after that; the new exercises K gave me seem to be really helping the things connected to my messed-up rib; it's been a while since last my body has felt this good.
...I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I suppose I should go to sleep so I can find out; it's going on 3am anyways.
I am messy and imperfect and still learning, but I love you. I hope you can look at me and at the person I'm becoming as I write these letters to you every day, and see someone whose efforts to be better today than yesterday count for something.
...Sephiroth, no matter how far you fall down, you, too, can try really hard to make better choices and think kinder thoughts today than yesterday. Anyone can. They can do this work. And indeed, everyone is responsible for doing this work upon themselves. The best way to become strong is to become soft enough to be vulnerable while still setting boundaries that acknowledge and respect both others' and your own humanity.
Let's keep trying together, okay?
I'll wish you good night for now. Please stay safe out there so you can read tomorrow's letter.
Your friend, Lumine
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thedarkestgreys · 2 years ago
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tagged by both @stannisfactions and @theangrypomeranian 🖤🖤 thank you friends!
How many works do you have on AO3?
67 but something new is popping up for halloween
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
so it says 976,114 but 266,429 of those words are from @baratheonbrotherspresent group written co-op fics
3. What fandoms do you write for?
primarily Fexi/Euphoria right now. but i've also written fics for ASOIAF/GoT, Eternals, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, and Teen Wolf over the last near decade.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
your violent overnight rush (fexi) stages (jonsa) and i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) (drukkari) slow hands (drukkari) and then a fic that i currently have hidden 😅
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
always! even if it's a quick TYSM FOR READING. i always appreciate when readers take the time to leave a comment, and i want to show my love back.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i don't think i've written anything with an angsty ending tbh. yes, lots of angst in various fics, but i'm a happy ending girlie through and through.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
as stated above, im a happy ending girlie. but maybe my heart's gone double time if i had to choose.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
i haven't in a long time, but in the past yeah. like drove me away from a ship and shut down my interest in writing for like a solid year. it wasn't even about the writing, it was about the plot (a Sweet Home Alabama AU) and the comments were unnecessary (go read the wiki on the movie yall its not hard) and it just sucked lol. that was a hot minute ago though. we're good now.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
hahahaha do i write smut???? i have an internal checklist of all the smutty things i haven't written yet that i want to give a go, so you could say that. (note: daddy kink is off the list and never to be seen from me again)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i do not! but i like to write a lot of AU's of different media.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
as far as i know of, no i haven't.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
i've had some offers in the past to have things translated back in the GoT days but i never gave the okay on it simply because it was a fic i never completed (ya girl used to get in over her head)
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
technically the BBP fics are cowritten but we all did our own chapters following a basic outline of plot/storylines and worked around what other authors were posting. it was chaos and hilarious and the most fun i've ever had
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
to write for? i'd have to say it's fexi, they unlocked a new level in my brain as an author. shout out to my favorite non-canon little crackship that could podrya though - i'll love you forever. to read? this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child. i've read so many incredible fics across a ton of different fandoms. but god i guess the ones i still seek out frequently is dasey and dramione. wouldn't say i have a favorite though?
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
i really want to finish but the wolves came and went and i think i'm sitting on at least two chapters completed for it right now lol someday i'll sit down and finish writing the whole thing and get it posted.
16. What are your writing strengths?
plotting. world building. exposition. keeping characters in character. i've been told i'm good at writing big emotions too?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i've improved greatly but i still struggle with dialogue. 🙃
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
okay so. when i was writing slow hands as i got further into the story i really started describing the actual sign language being used by makkari and druig. hours of watching asl videos to pick out different words or phrases to translate. it was fun and it was hard work and i ended up with a whole new appreciation for asl. but it also felt important to really dig into describing the asl and i'm glad i did it.
19. First fandom you wrote for? ... and i'm still bitter about the cancelled reboot.
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20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
taking yvor out of the equation: my fexi warm bodies zombie au sharing different heartbeats mostly i go back and read it and go "wait i wrote this?" because i don't do zombies at all lol. i'm just very proud of it.
tagging: @sarahcakes613 @muserepeats @calculated2stagger @iwantthemtostay and @idontneedtobeforgiven
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chronic-retrograde · 8 months ago
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01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Not really.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
My partner.
03: Do you regret anything?
Loads of stuff.
04: Are you insecure?
Yes.
05: What is your relationship status?
Taken.
06: How do you want to die?
Instantly.
07: What did you last eat?
White Rabbit candies. Milk flavored.
08: Played any sports?
When I was a child, I played soccer very briefly.
09: Do you bite your nails?
Not unless there's a piece coming off.
10: When was your last physical fight?
Never.
11: Do you like someone?
See above.
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Yes.
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Yes.
14: Do you miss someone?
Yes.
15: Have any pets?
One cat who I love dearly.
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Tired. My brain isn't letting me sleep at the moment.
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
No.
18: Are you scared of spiders?
If they're big.
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes.
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
My bedroom.
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
Hang out with my bestie and his partner.
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
No.
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
No.
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Biology. Just not the cellular kind.
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yes.
26: What are you craving right now?
Sleep.
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
I think so.
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
No.
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Unfortunately.
30: What’s irritating you right now?
Being too hot to sleep.
31: Does somebody love you?
Yes.
32: What is your favourite color?
Black.
33: Do you have trust issues?
With certain people.
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
I don't remember the plot, but I think it was in a mall.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My partner.
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
No.
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive.
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
Idk, but it's alright.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
20
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
As a very small child.
51: Favourite food?
A cheeseburger.
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Technically? Yes. Is it Karma? No.
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Went to the toilet. Exciting, I know.
54: Is cheating ever okay?
No.
55: Are you mean?
I don't think I am.
56: How many people have you fist fought?
057: Do you believe in true love?
Yes, but you have to work for it.
58: Favourite weather?
Warm, breezy, and overcast with the smell of a future rain.
59: Do you like the snow?
No.
60: Do you wanna get married?
Yes.
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I hate it.
62: What makes you happy?
My cat. Spending time with my friends and partner. Good food. Fun games. Typical things.
63: Would you change your name?
No.
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
No. He's sleeping rn.
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
This would never happen. He doesn't swing that way.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Yes.
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
My partner.
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My partner.
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
Yes, but it's not an instant thing. It comes with familiarity. See the true love question.
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
Yes.
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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ctchmyskull · 2 months ago
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I remember being a kid and washing my kitchen floor. We didnt have a mop and so I would sit on my hands and knees with a sponge and a butter knife, and clean every tile. My dad used to quote Annie and say "keep going til this place shines like the top of the Chrysler building!" I guess this never bothered me. Until I realized this was a product of some kind of overwhelming force in my fathers brain that made him go crazy once every few weeks. The other kids would be out playing in the streets and I was scratching away at the floor with a butter knife.
I am self conscious of my hair
As a kid I was gross and made fun of
I was poor. Maybe I still am
Sometimes I believe things go away
Until they come back and all you want is for a kid with a baseball bat to knock your fuckind head off
Home run!
A cartoon end for a character that was never serious
I never went on any vacations
Maybe as a small child where I can't remember it
But nothing that I could come home from school happy about.
What is that disconnect called?
I guess a lot of people feel like they're on the outside looking in. But what does it mean if I feel like im on the outside looking out.
When I was 13 I woke up with two bloody lips and a headache.
I had gotten into an argument with my brother the night before and he pushed me so hard I hit my head and forgot about it.
And so I woke up with two bloody lips and a headache. I told the school nurse that I must've gotten into a fight with my brother and I was evaluated. Didn't they know I was already being constantly evaluated?
Sometimes it feels like that concussion never went away. I just wake up most days with bloody lips and headaches.
When I was 14 a girl had lied and told me she was a lesbian, just to ask out a close friend of mine. I got up and left in the middle of 1st period like a little bitch.
I sat in my room and listened to Fall of Troy, and Cursive. Cried my eyes out for a full 24 hours.
Bloody lips and a headache.
No one in my house knew how to deal with something like that, and so I was on the outside.
The crying stopped when I got up in the dark of my room, put on a pair of sunglasses, and played my guitar. Trying so hard to picture being on a stage, or having music that meant anything.
I cried some more.
For whatever reason, I always take the poison drink. I don't have the heart to hurt that giant. Or maybe the balls.
The idea that someone could feel the way I have and do scares the shit out of me. I'd rather drink a gallon of poison with a drop of honey in it than just get a glass of water.
It honestly feels like I shouldn't be here sometimes.
I tried to get a gun when I was 15 but it wasn't for me
I woke up in the hospital when I was 16. I had tried to kill myself after doing hallucinogenic drugs. I was dying of hypothermia when the police found me and I had to be airlifted to a hospital that could care for me. I woke up in the hospital and my dad put a pillow over my face and asked me if I wanted to die.
Funny thing is that for the first time in a while. I didnt.
When im alone I feel like im gonna cave in.
Like everything I worked for and every mental Jenga piece was actually made of straw. Like if I don't hold my head and pray, the holy father is gonna bless me with a disease.
Bless me
Things that work DO work. But maybe I just don't have the mental resilience to keep doing them for so long. What the fuck is emotional intelligence anyway?
When im alone I desperately search for something to give me value. Value as a provider, as an entertainer, as an artist. Anything that can make me feel like maybe I WILL get us to colorado.
I don't know why things hurt as hard as they do. I don't know when I'll feel like im not alone. I don't know when I'll stop drinking poison. I don't know when I won't be afraid to say the things I need to. I don't know when anyone will take me seriously. I don't take me seriously.
I'm still just waking up with bloody lips and a headache.
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ptts2023 · 2 months ago
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TM GAME TOURNAMENT MAGAZINE ANNOUNCEMENT 13 PART 03
Written By: Neng Hong Lam Date Written: May 15, 2025
Table of Contents: Book 1 Book 2 Introduction Chapter 01: 1992-1994 Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 22 Chapter 02 [1.] Apartment #11 [2.] Apartment #7 [3.] All Day Hike Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 23 Chapter 02 Continue [3.] All Day Hike (Continue) [Important Note 07] [4.] Conspiracies Behind the Curtain A. Retarded Child Conspiracies
All Day Hike (Continue)
Continue where I left off.
If you have live in the Pacific Beach (PB) neighborhood in San Diego your whole life, then you know there are multiple "Burger King" hamburger restaurants on Mission Boulevard. Otherwise, it is confusing. Because of the new construction, reconstruction, and remodel. There are still "Burger King" in Mission Boulevard, but the one we went to already reconstruction to a different restaurant.
After we done eating the Whoppers, we hike to the Mission beach.
At the Mission beach, Chung would feed the seagulls (birds). Me and Ho just follow what Chung is doing also feed the seagulls.
There is a pedestrian lane wider than sidewalk. The pedestrian lane is next to the beach shore. It is many miles. Also, it connected the different beaches. We traveled on the pedestrian lane from Mission beach to PB beach. The distance is about 3-4 miles. From my observation, all year long, from 5:00 AM to 2:00 AM, it is crowded with people.
The fearful and lonely life and don't know how to speak the English language in the CPES years. It is like me and Ho doesn't have parents. So, me and Ho with our father walking among the crowd of people is like people see me and Ho have parents.
I would argues with our father we could be lesser fearful and lonely. Able to feel the comfort of being with parents such as support and embracement. There are moments, me and Ho could let down our guard.
At one glance, the argument is it is a boring and simple all day hike. Why do I have to write about it?
Even though, it is a simple all day hike. But, me and Ho able to feel comfort and happiness. Instead fear and loneliness. So, me and him was very happy about the all day hike the whole time.
During the hike, me and him decided when we get home, we would split evenly on the firecrackers and fireworks we found. Also, I told him. Before our family left Sand Be. I have learn a technique for the firecracker to explode in my hand without hurting my hand.
Yet, we still remember there were times children cried when the firecracker exploded in their hand.
The following is that technique:
When you are ready for the explosion in your fingers. When you are panic and scare of the explosion in your fingers. Make a lot of differences.
Knowing how to hold the firecracker with your fingers. And, your brain sending stimulus to your fingers to be ready for the explosion. During the explosion you feel a little bit of pain and numbness. Because the stimulus signal your fingers to be ready for the explosion.
As for Ho, he want to take his firecrackers and fireworks apart. Then, make them into more powerful fireworks.
The fireworks we are talking about is nowhere near as powerful as SeaWorld's fireworks. It is like a shape of rocket. When it is launched. It will fly up to the sky. Then, explode in the sky. It doesn't even create any flash of light. The SeaWorld's fireworks when it is exploded in the sky, it created a huge display of array lights in different colors. Those light display could last up to 60 seconds or more.
Ho is only 10 years old. Also, he doesn't have firework powders to create fireworks like the SeaWorld's fireworks.
I think maybe because of the memories of the firecrackers in Sand Be. That is why we are talking about the firecrackers and fireworks.
Anyway, I didn't compare his effort on creating his own fireworks with SeaWorld's fireworks. We are just very happy and excited to able to play with firecrackers again.
By the time we got to the PB beach it is around 2:00 PM. We have hiked for about 10 hours.
Chung suggested to buy beverage because the long hike could make us dehydrated. I told them. We could buy beverages at the supermarket. Chung asked me which supermarket.
"I heard "Barney" supermarket sell homemade beverages for affordable prices."
Because it is a hot summer day and we been hiking for 10 hours. So, the thoughts of icy cold homemade beverages made our mouth water.
After about 20 minutes hiking down Garnet Avenue from PB beach, we reached "Barney" supermarket. It is no longer called "Barney". The name have changed to "Spout". Chung gave me 1 dollar and told me to go buy beverages.
I only overheard talks about "Barney" sell homemade beverages. But, I have never bought beverages in "Barney" before.
Inside "Barney", I went to the beverage aisle. The homemade lemonade soda pop is $0.15 (15 Cents) a bottle. The argument is it is so cheap, so it must taste very bad. I bought 2 bottles. If it tasted very bad, then I'll drink both bottles. Since it is my suggestion.
Outside "Barney", Chung told me to take a sip first. After I took a sip, I realized it is the best tasting drink I have ever drink before.
We finished both bottles really fast. Then, Chung told me to go back inside to get 2 more bottles.
After we done with the beverages, Chung suggested that we should come to "Barney" more often to buy beverages. Then, he gave me a compliment for making the suggestion to come to "Barney".
As for me, it was a new experience. Because I just found out about "Barney" sell great tasting homemade beverages.
After "Barney", we stopped at KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) fried chicken restaurant. The Manager Deal Meal is 2 drumsticks, 2 wings, and 1 biscuit for $1. The same as "Burger King", Chung told me and Ho to go in and buy the fried chickens to go. Inside "KFC", me and Ho ordered 2 Manager Deal Meals.
Outside "KFC", we shared those 2 meals. We really enjoyed the KFC fried chickens.
We got back to our apartment at around 5:00 PM.
The foods tasted really good or the great day we had made the foods tasted really good?
Important Note 07
My current (May 2025) situation would effect my writing.
I Got Help Scenario: I know that I have a place to sleep and food to eats each day. I have support from my family and my community. I have feedback on my PTTS posts. I have incomes or donations on my PTTS posts.
Very Confused Scenario: I have to worry everyday about not enough foods to eat and I don't have a place to sleep. I'm not connected with my family and my community. I don't have feedback on my PTTS posts. I don't have incomes or donations on my PTTS posts. I'm very confused and I don't know what is going on.
In "I Got Help Scenario", I felt I could finish writing this healing process.
In "Very Confused Scenario", I'm very confused and stress out. It is very hard for me to focus on finish writing this healing process.
Conspiracies Behind the Curtain
Retarded Child Conspiracies
In Book 1 Chapter 2, I wrote about being haunted by ghosts at the nighttime and having nightmares in my sleeps in Sand Be. My family have to protect me all the time. Made me afraid of I'm being abandon by my family and my community. Also, afraid people would criticized me as a retarded child or a child with special need.
I would argues to overcome the fears. I have to argue back against the conspiracies that have conspired me as a retarded child.
The argument is my father don't want to disappointed me that I have been conspired to become a retarded child. So, he would tells I'm his favorited son among his sons.
From September 1993 to June 1994, in my third grade class, Mrs. Garrey would held my face and tells me to make eye contact with her. In front of the class. Then, she would tells me. I'm broken and lack confidence. But, she would fix me.
During the spelling bee competition. She would sign me up. Then, she would tell me have confidence. I'm fixing you.
In the spelling bee competition, I'm sitting in one of the 3 panels. The coordinator told me to spell, "Quiet". It is my first word to spell in the competition.
I look at the students in the audience. In the classroom, students would try to help me out when I need help with my spelling. But, this a competition so no one could help me.
"Quiet. Q-U-I-T-E. Quiet." I answered.
The coordinator would tell me I spelled quiet wrong.
The argument is only a retarded child get eliminated in the spelling bee competition on his first word.
"Efforts is what count. You went up stage to one of those panels. So what if you didn't get far." Mrs. Garrey would said to me. She held my face up again. And, told me to make eye contact with her. Then, she told me I'm going to fix you.
"Neng, pay attention. Look at Alex. He got structure and form. Your turn is coming up." Mrs. Garrey would said to me. The students are doing jogging exercise in the grass field.
There are conspiracies to conspired me as retarded child. Broken. And, lack of confidence.
It is hard for me to says that fighting against those conspiracies would make me even more retarded. More broken. More lack of confidence.
If I keep saying that the orphans and third world countries children starving to death from the famine and poverty each years. Then, I might create confusions and misunderstandings.
Sometime when there are too much pressures, I wanted to says that I'm just an orphan that is not important enough to be notice.
How often do you came across an orphan who doesn't have a lot of problems in his life?
From that question, the argument is if an orphan could have equal opportunity in a tournament. Then, it would be a clean death for that orphan.
The argument is Alex have structure and form. I'm a pissed off retarded child who have nothing to loose. I'm waiting for him to make a punch at me. Then, I'm going to crack his skull on the concrete floor.
I would argues I'm not going to crack his skull. I'm just going to teach him a lesson. Also, I don't know why did the most beautiful and beloved baby in Sand Be got put in this argument.
Then, Alex punched a student and knocked that students to ground. Then, he used a student as a punching bag to show the other students how to punch.
"Why don't you challenge Neng in a fight?" Feliciano Cervantez asked Alex.
Me and Alex walk up to each. Then, we bumped into each other. Making each other making the first punch.
Then, Diana Olloni and Gabriela (I don't know remember if that is her correct name.) broke up the commotion between me and Alex.
"I'll cry if I sees Neng get punch." Diana said out loud. Then, she shuffled me and Alex away from each other.
"Neng, lets go to another spot to hangout." Gabriela said to me. Then, she held on to my hand and pulled me away from Alex.
My father told me that I'm going to be on my knee. Also, I'm going to rip open my mother's shirt and bite her nipple until her nipple bleed.
I'm friend with Gabriel, because she asked me to be her friend. Diana and her mother been very supportive in our classroom.
I would argues in the fight against Alex, I could win. If I lose, then it is better than those retarded child conspiracies. This mean I didn't needed Diana to speak up for me and protect me. And, break up that fight.
Alex angrily punched another student multiple times instead of me. I'm angrily walked away from Alex.
The argument is I'm a retarded child that is why 2 girls have to protect me.
From September 1994 to June 1995, my fourth grade year. Mrs. Hanson is my fourth grade teacher. Because I'm learning how to speak the English language starting on second grade, so during second grade and third grade, I couldn't be part of the classroom lectures.
The argument is I'm a retarded child because I can't be part of the classroom lectures.
Mrs. Hanson sincerely told me to give it try. And, I'll help you. Be part of the classroom lectures. I told her. Okay. Then, she told me to read paragraphs out loud in a book to the classroom.
As I'm reading those paragraphs. There are students sitting next to me help me with how to pronounce the a few words that I have problem pronouncing. Also Mrs. Hanson would help me with how to pronounce the words that I have problem pronouncing.
After I read those paragraphs. The classroom of students applauded. Then, Mrs. Hanson would tells the classroom that English language is my fourth language I have to learn. And, I have went through a lot of hard study to able to be part of the classroom lectures. Then, the classroom of students applauded again.
The argument is I'm a retarded child because I got a classroom of students to applauded me for reading a few paragraphs in a book.
Why did I let the retarded child conspiracies continue to happen in my life, it is I don't care about my life, or it is nobody care about my life?
"Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 24" continue in TM Game Tournament Magazine Announcement 13 Part 04.
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1-p-29 · 5 months ago
Text
My Brother, Ivo.
Ch. 3: Flashbacks
Definitely not my brain taking a long time with ideas. But enough of that, let's enjoy some happy fun-time angst together! 😋😝
Read Chapters 1 and 2 first if you haven't already!
Summary: Eggman and Carol both get flashbacks, not good ones either.
______________________________________________
Eggman attacks, Carol watches, etc.
It's always been like that since Carol arrived to Hedgehog Village.
They both made a deal that Eggman would let her be and have a peaceful life here, minus the attacks, IF she watches his 'greatness' while doing it.
She agreed, nonetheless, but she knows she had to find something else to do around here.
So instead of watching him one day, she went to the library and found some pretty interesting books about different pop artists that visited here. She looked upon someone named Justin Beaver, who had, against his will, brainwashed everyone in the village with his singing. (The equipment was actually the one to blame, but oh well)
"sighs... If only I could go back in time... Those were the good ole days."
Meanwhile, during the fight, Eggman noticed Carol wasn't anywhere to be seen, which distracted him enough to be defeated by Sonic and his friends.
He decided to look for her, which took ALL DAY LONG (not really, he's just impatient)... until he finally found her in the library... reading.
"There you are, Missy, where were you..?"
Carol jumped up in her seat and said, "Oh, Ivo... it's just you... sorry for not watching you fight, I got a little bored and wanted to see what this library had."
"I kinda figured you for the reading type... damn, you've read a lot!"
"SHHHHH!!" Said the Librarian.
Ivo started whispering and said, "Apologies."
Carol, now whispering, gave Ivo a brief summary on each book she's read so far.
Ivo started to stare at her after a while.
'She acts just like Mom in a way...' he thought.
When she started describing the last book, however, it started bringing back some bad memories from his childhood.
It was a book about how a child lived with his sister and parents, but something terrible had happened to the sister. The mother then started drinking, scolding the child for little things like coughing or sneezing near her and the father kept grabbing the child and throwing him out to 'test his survival skills.' The mother eventually left and died in a car crash, since she still drank. The father on the other hand, started wreaking havoc in the small town they lived in. The father then abandoned the child when he was 13, leaving said child alone. The child grew up and ended up being just like his father. It was always someone else's fault, though. The other people made fun of and picked on him only because his last name was-
"Ok, ok... Th-That's enough... I-It's getting late... We should head home."
"But it's barely noon-"
"Don't care, come on, let's go to my place and hang out, I'm not planning on attacking anymore today, so let's go play video games all day, ok?"
"Ugh... fine."
"Yay."
As they got up to leave, so did someone else.
Amy heard them talking to each other, thinking about how suspicious they were being.
She follows them until she sees both humans hopping into the Egg Mobile.
Once it takes off, she sees them ride towards Eggman's lair.
"I gotta tell the others, she might not be as kind as she seems."
______________________________________________
-in the morning-
knock knock knock
"Coming!" 'Who the hell is knocking on my door this early!?" She thought.
She opens the door, revealing Sonic and his friends.
"Oh, it's you guys again... Come in."
After they all came in, she asked, "how have you been, young ones...?"
"We've been good, miss..." Said, Sonic. "Say... You and Eggman seem kinda close..."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah... we got kinda curious and asked around, and people all over town are saying how you stare at him while he attacks, with no fear of getting hurt."
"Yeah...? And what about you guys...?"
"Us?" Asked Tails. "What about us...?"
"Your opinions of me... I don't mind your company at the moment... do you mind being here...?"
They all stayed silent, even Knuckles.
"Let me ask each of you a different question... did you, Amy, mind my company when I joined you in the spa, rambling endlessly of when I used to sing about love, giving you advice in the process...?"
"... No, ma'am."
"And you, Knuckles... did you enjoy the cookies I made you once...?
"Ooh, Oooh!! I know this one!! The one with the cherry on top...!?" (Doesn't actually remember, typical Knux)
"No, dear, the one that had chocolate chips."
"Oh, yeah, right... I knew that!"
She laughed, admitting how much she loved how dorky he was.
"And you, Tails... did you enjoy the blanket I made you when it was your birthday...?"
"Yes, ma'am! I use it every night!"
"That's good to hear, dear... now you, Sticks... did you mind having lunch with me once while you were taking a break from fixing your traps...?"
"Depends... were you secretly sabotaging my traps while we were eating...? Are you a government spy...!? Do you have telekinesis!?"
Carol gets up and starts patting her head.
"You have such a creative mind, Sticks... you would've been a big help to the city I lived in... the traps thing, not the paranoia."
Stick's eyes start glistening, wondering if she should start getting out more... Only to talk to people, though, nothing else.
"Now, Sonic... you asked me once why I came here, and I said it was because I couldn't stay where I grew up because eventually, people might hurt me, correct?"
"That's correct."
"You gave me hope that this place was full of good people that I could trust, that I belong here more than where I came from... But now you come here, to my place, telling me that I'm suspicious..."
She took a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears.
"I'm going to come clean about being close with Eggman... but I hope your views of me don't change... and even if they did, I wouldn't care... it doesn't matter how much you hate me... do you know why...?"
They each made noises of confusion before shrugging.
"It's because I will always care about each and everyone of you... I can be a shoulder to lie on... Whoever needs a place to stay are welcome whenever they want... Just know that I care... That I want YOU to feel better when you're down... As long as I'm here... You can feel... Wanted..."
As Carol told them how she felt, she remembered a time where her mother told her that she could trust her, not knowing her true intentions of using her to try and steal things. She knew about false hope thanks to her... her stupid, drunken dead mother. She knew now that trust usually leads to disaster... To exile... To manipulation... To death. But she wasn't her mother... She knew she meant every word that came out of her mouth... But...
"I understand if you don't believe me... I wouldn't have trusted you if our roles were switched... we humans are so quick to lie... to hide... to run... but it really doesn't matter anymore... I don't care anymore..."
"Ma'am... we're sorry if we made you feel bad... but now that you told us how you feel... we... No... I figured you've been so honest with us, that it'd be better if we didn't worry about the whole 'Eggman' thing."
"Huh!?" The others were shocked. Sonic was being... RESPONSIBLE!?
"Let's go guys... we should go and relax! Until Eggman starts attacking again." They each agree and start making their way out the house.
After they left, Carol broke into tears of joy. They didn't care about her spending time with Eggman, which made her grateful.
Eggman visited soon afterwards, and they did what they'd normally do.
"I hope no one finds out that we're siblings... that would be disastrous." Eggman had pointed out.
"I really hope no one thinks we're a couple."
Eggman starts feeling queazy and says, "Yuck! No no no! That's so disgusting! 🤢"
They both started laughing after a few jokes and then they both decided to go to Eggman's lair to play some games.
Then they went to bed, then went back to their usual routine... but someone was watching them, observing their every move. Who you might ask...?
Well...
If you really want to know...
STAY TUNED
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zghostreviews · 7 months ago
Text
The Arcane Review
I have not used this account in a long time but I feel like I need to yap a bit after Season 2.
Season 1, keeping it short and brief cause I don't have any real issues with it or anything. The animation and art style used in Arcane is beautiful and such, love that, very appealing to my eyes. The music used is......well it makes you remember this is based on LoL at least...I liked the intro song used and simply tolerated like 70 to 80% of the other music. I stayed firmly on the side of Zaunites throughout my S1 watch especially and barely cared for the Pilties except for maybe Mel but it was more of in a "why are you with a man who looks like he uses 7 in 1 body wash instead of your secretary who looks like she wants you" and the "your mom genuinely fucking sucks" sorta way. On the topic of Ambessa though, I CAN understand why people think she's hot but like I can't get over the whole warlord and genocider thing but anyways. I liked the first season, the pacing seemed great to me I thoroughly enjoyed it even though it has basically zero rewatchability for me.
Now Season 2, I actually have a lot to say about it since its fresher on my brain.
Dawg........Season 2 was kinda shit.....it makes sense why Fallout won over Arcane(even tho I think that it was a very missed opportunity NOT to have Maybe play when the bombs started dropping in Fallout the show) this time at the game awards(aside from S2 of Arcane JUST wrapping up close to the end of November) The pacing and writing felt off and everything felt incredibely rushed and I don't get it? They're making another Arcane series anyways so I dont get why they could have had three seasons instead of trying to mesh together two acts in one 8 episode season? Whoever made it standard that seasons for shows should be 13 episodes or less instead of at least 20, your mom's a hoe‼️
I'm gonna be real for a moment and say I was purely here for more Sevika content that was promised and they FUCKING LIED!! My wife don't even say a singular word in Act 3 aside from "GRAAHHH" LIKE WHAT. Like we still know basically absolutely nothing about her even though she was Silco's right hand and had to take care of Jinx and Isha.
And then the stuff with Cait??? Is just not really addressed???? Cause she went full on dictator and shit after her mom's funeral. That was all her own choice and I don't know why people keep saying "it's because of Ambessa" even though Ambessa literally hadn't even spoken to her yet during her initial crash out, the scuffed shit she was doing to Zaun citizens and pointing a gun at a literal child??? Cait made those decisions literally on her own dude.
Another thing bothering me that was just never addressed is how Ambessa literally had hired those Zaun people with the full intention of no one stopping them from assassinating Mel, HER DAUGHTER. Unless that was something her right hand staged without her knowing???? We don't know because that shit was never addressed afterwards and we can only assume that Mel learn that her mom or her mom's right hand was about to get her killed to make it seem like all of Zaun was evil either.
And the thing with Viktor was...something...he turned into Jesus and started going a bit crazy with power. My main thing with him is that...he is from Zaun, right? So wouldn't he know who Vander and/or Silco are in some way even if he only spent his childhood there?
And then there's the lesbian sex scene which I feel was just..........terribly placed.....? And the writing surrounding what leads up to it is weird too....? Throughout the entirety of Season 2, Cait....I literally like her less than I did in S1 cause she literally called Vi "one of the good ones" in S2 and that was fucking crazy. But Cait has had like zero sympathy of any kind for Jinx, even when Jinx was like super clearly wracked from trauma and grief from seeing, Isha, a child, a child that was in her care, die in front of her. Like I'm pretty sure Vi and Cait also witnessed that too....and the aftermath so you'd think she'd be at least a little bit sympathetic but no???? Unless I missed something????
Then afterwards when Vi arrives and does try to talk to Jinx about what happened, clearly it's still a fresh wound and she does NOT wanna talk about it due to how painful it is so she lashes out and locks Vi in the cell, and very clearly eludes that she's gonna go off and kill herself and no one is gonna stop her. And then sometime after that, Cait comes by and unlocks the cell and Vi is like "she really hasn't changed..." and its like huh?????? You JUST basically heard her say she'd gonna go off herself and THAT was your conclusion??? Even after the time you got to spend with her prior to the event inadvertently caused by Jayce??? Then Cait just kinda shit talks about Jinx to Vi and trying to reaffirm that "yeah girl! She hasnt changed and I told you so!" in between the comfort and then they start kissing and fucking in the jail cell Jinx had spent days starving herself and wallowing in her own grief and sorrows in.
I'm sorry but was that supposed to get my clit perking up????? Cause it didnt.
And then there's the Black Rose plot, which was just confusing and proves that Act 2 and 3 should've been their own seasons cause it just made everything even more messy and kind of hard to keep up with. Like...???? Question marks was all that was really cause it just provided more questions than there already were.
I thought the fish guy would be of importance cause of how many shots he was getting, the whole thing with Maddie, and that guy Vi was hanging out with that was giving Vander vibes, hell I even thought that one Jinxer would've been important in some way cause she got a few shots too. But nah, all of them just die with little to no fanfare except fish guy whose name was Stev or something, I dunno.
And then the montages were....also annoying to say the least? It seemed like more of an excuse to make a mini music video really.
Did I watch Season 2 all the way through? Yeah. At times it felt like a chore to actually get through it, but yeah.
But did I walk out of it perplexed? Also yes!
I rate season 2 like a 7.5/10
S1 gets like a 9/10
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scoops404 · 7 months ago
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ooo maybe longer fics?
In regards to this ask!
"i would love to hear more about your brainstorming process for creating a new fic / how you come up with so many great ideas and how that’s brought to life!"
Answer under cut:
Longer fics come about in several different ways, and usually the spark of the idea changes immensely from what I thought it was going to be versus what the final "product" ends up being. It very much helps the "fear of the blank page" if you accept upfront that the end product isn't going to be what you daydreamed about. I've learned that lesson. (AKA accept that you need to learn to love the journey more than the destination sometimes)
As far as what makes my brain go brrrrr that's gonna be a fic, it's different things. A big factor is if it's different and innovative or just strange enough that I feel like it hasn't been done *my way* before. I don't want to tell the same story someone else has already told. It's also a lot of time and energy to put into something, it needs to be able to hold me captive, let alone my interest. Hits Different is the best example of this -- i don't know what crack i was on but suddenly i had 100K+ written in like 2 months. That's insane for me. I had 8K writing days and 10K+ writing days. That's so so rare for me. And mind you, I did this with a 40 hours a week daytime job. I don't even remember the spark of the idea for Hits Different except that their parents got married and then they wound up in the same dorm room -- all the other stuff came after that.
I jsut went back to look for any tweets about HD:
Aug 13, 2023: "So you know how I can't write anything normal? What if I told you I just wrote 2k of college au step-brothers/ enemies-to-lovers with football player Dream. Would anyone want that? They're currently discussing safewords to fight each other"
Oh, so I guess it started as a college AU and Dream was a football player before the other stuff got added. This is before the weird BDSM part got introduced lol.
For Anagnorisis, the spark was "what if George was pregnant and didn't know it until he was in labor?" aka I didn't know i was pregnant AU -> which morphed into thinking, okay, why wouldn't he know? What would cause the most drama about that? and them sleeping together but not *being* together was the answer lol. I kinda live blogged the beginning thought process for that fic, including the first scene i wrote.
For Just One Touch, it started as the f/m/m to m/m DNF threesome fic because I love Midas Touch (RIP) so much and wanted to explore that dynamic myself. And then it was going to be VERY internalized homophobic based at the end and Alison wrangled me and it turned more demi-sexual exploration of George trying to figure out himself out. I wanted FWB and this is as close as I could get tbh haha.
For Shine Here To Us, it was a fic event in a discord where we spun a wheel with tropes we'd like to try and tropes we've done before and loved and mpreg and hurt/comfort were my results (shockingly the mpreg was the trope I hadn't tried up to that point). I always had an idea of two people in the spotlight having a baby together for convenience and then it turning into more so that was the impetus for this fic. I just couldn't imagine Dream stating he wants to have a child and George not trying to bend over backwards to be the one to give that to him (but, you know, in a cool way where he doesn't look lame)
For Curse and Cure of the Internet, I had the idea of Dream as a fic writer accidentally writing fic about himself and George. I wrote like 5K of it and then put it aside because I figured it was too out there and people wouldn't really relate like other fic writers would -- but then I mentioned it to someone on twitter and then everyone dogpiled saying they want to see that and so i fleshed it out. It became obvious very early on that the universe needed OCs of fans for Dream to befriend and then I had a very fun time making them as different as possible from each other, but still Dream fans. And that fic was my love letter to fandom friends and fanfiction writing (before some of the disillusionment set in so im glad i got it out there then!). People still to this day ask about Right Hand Man, the fictional fic that Dream writes in this universe and that makes me so happy.
For Deep in the Dream of a Game, I was coming off of writing Curse and Cure and wanted to write something completely different. Jase (birbwatcher) was writing an MCC fic set with realistic virtual reality and that fic had an amazing start (it's unfinished, sadly) and it reminded me of "Check Chat," one of the fics where the players are transported into the game. I remember loving that concept and thinking it was perfect for what it was but i wanted more romance to it and i wanted to see more of them having to build a society and not so much about the killing the dragon part. And the idea could have faded back out, but then I wondered what would happen if they killed the dragon and it didn't work. What would they do then? How would they cope? Then I just had to write it
I've Never Fallen From Quite This High started as the idea of George's mom coming to Florida and announcing her divorce from George's father. i had an IRL friend's parents get divorced while she's an adult and listening to her talk about how weird it was sparked something in my brain. It's not ilke you'll have two bedrooms and split custody as a 26 year old, but it's still weird to see them separated. And that combined with Dream being able to befriend anybody made the idea grow legs. I wrote it off and on and then the scene with dream and kate at the diner and how funny their banter was convinced me to write the rest of it and see it through. This one also had the idea that George just feels too much and he's scared of it sometimes. I still see elements of that in him.
You guys kinda saw the beginning of "I Am Two Fools" as well -- Dizzy handed me some prompts and then my mind got away from me and i knew it wouldn't be a quick fic for me. The hard part of planning and plotting for this one was from the twist of changing POV from Dream in the first half to George in the second half. Once I figured out i needed to do that, everything kinda fell into place.
I suppose the moment a fic changes over from an idea to something i'm determined to write is like the first time i write a scene for it. if it feels right and interesting and i'm excited about it, then i'll just keep going. Talking about it with my friends and here on my blog helps a lot too. It's amazing what other people's excitement for your thing does to your own enthusiasm.
This is already so fucking long, but i'd love to talk about shorter fics too at some point because a lot of those pack a punch of world building. Circling back, the mushroom king and the nightmare, florida man dub. Fun stuff!! Thanks for the ask. let me know if there's something more specific you were looking for
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