#I don't know how much we talk about this but we definately don't talk about this enough
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Absolutely yes to all of that. I think the relationship between Miranda and Thomas is way underrated. We don't know much about it, but definitely /there was/ much. I've thought a lot about their dynamics and regardless of if they were romantic or friendly, it doesn't change the fact that the two of them had shared for years a deep bond which probably had changed both of their lives for the better. I've liked very much the word you used ti define them, twins. I've used it many time myself. I totally agree with this it. To me they were chosen brothers who had been lucky enough to find, in the midst of a society meant to cut off their wings, someone who instead was more than willing to help them take flight, and the importance this can assume in the life of people with such personalities and ideas like theirs is priceless.
I love all the relationships that bind these three characters together and sure, James' pain at losing his greatest love must have been terrible, but to me the love that bound Miranda and Thomas was even deeper, for its span if nothing else, just like the love that eventually bound Miranda and Flint at the time of her death was deeper than the love that had bound Flint to Thomas. So I think Miranda must have suffered even more than him for the loss of Thomas, considering also how it had meant for her the loss of all the life she had known. Not to talk about all the situations she had to endure once in Nassau. I mean, it might be me loving this subject, these three characters and their story, but I believe Miranda's sorrow is something people never really talk enough about.
I mean, the way she talks about Thomas with pastor Lambrick in ep.VI? That gave me shivers. What are we even talking about?
flint gifting miranda la galatea - a story involving two friends in love with the same person who agree to not let it interfere with their friendship, and more broadly as a whole, an examination of how different lives intertwine - as a means of apologizing is so impactful it literally gave me new brain circuitry undiscovered by science. just the quiet understanding between them of how much thomas meant to the other, even though their relationships with him were very different. we don't see alot of miranda and thomas together in the flashbacks but from what we do see, it tells us what we need to grasp the depths of her loss and why she misses her life back then so badly.
truly like... he was her twin. they shared such an open, playful affection. there was an abundance of free-flowing admiration in the way they talked to or about each other, they trusted each other completely with their personal lives without reservation, and their mutual happiness together was so transparent and palpable. when miranda walked into the study and they joked around together the room practically lit up (can we blame james for acting like a deer in headlights there). like their free-spirit bestie bohemian vibe was radiant. regardless of whether you interpret their arrangement as a lavender marriage or a romantic/sexual one, it would have been rare for a man and a woman in that era to find a genuinely happy partnership of equals the way they did.
so the few times we see when james oversteps a bit and acts like his grief and anger are more important than hers and miranda snaps back... miranda truly a better woman than i am because i think it would've been valid for her to hit back a little more severely. james was with thomas for ~9(?) months, but what miranda had with him was presumably years.
so when flint gives her la galatea with the inscription "i'm sorry"... yes, that's a well-deserved apology indeed, and now my neurological functioning will never be the same again
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we don't talk about this enough
#I don't know how much we talk about this but we definately don't talk about this enough#shifty powers#darrell c. powers#band of brothers#hy speaks#nothing
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im so fucking conflicted man, like this is making me cry
#not just about that previous thing#but also.....#i need rules to function in my head#how to decode good from wrong? rule: dont hurt people if you can avoid it#how to reasonably define hurting people#when i dunno what would hurt them? rule: as a baseline treat other people the way you would like to be treated unless they specify otherwisr#and jt works! it's a system#its the fucking wjat to we owe each other again. working out these reasonable rules is a never ending task#but when talking to people....#im like a programming language#so i can do a lot! but i have to be instructed. when dealing with exceptions/problems when i don't know what exactly to do to say to react#but like. i have issues with my self esteem i guess. for.no reason#how am i supposed to talk about it to people. why would i do that? how can i ask for advice if i already know what i am going to do?#i live in my head#and im so tired of this#i wish i could be myself or lobotomized#ive been feeling this pulled-taut rope in ky stomach whenever i think about my social life#i wish itd snap and ill awkwardly cut everyone off again#which makes me a hypocrite because im breaking a rule. im choosing to hurt people for my own convenience#does anybody elses brain work this way and PLEASE is there a solution? i need to stop thinking#so far mthe only solution ive found is grey zone (i dont know how to actually get real hard) drugs and a lobotomy#or just killing myself outright. i dont think i can do it yet but i wish i could#if i had a gun in my hands now for 5 minutes; as much as i want to i wouldn't be able to shoot myself#do you understand how this fact makes me feel even more like shit? depressed enough to wallow in self pity and misery not depressed enough#to solve it#just whine whine whine#i want to think like literally ANYBODY else think#i.want to.not need to make 10 yeat old ass rules for myself#but i dont know how to behave otherwise#im sorry i feel really bad
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Tim already did find someone who he can himself with in all aspects: Stephanie
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There is also how bernard doesn't embrace all aspects of Tim. Their entire "relationship" is defined by Tim being robin
Bernard doesn't help Tim grow as a character, or even as a person relationship wise as Tim is still doing the same faults he did in past relationships with civilians not telling them he is Robin, keeping secrets, cutting dates/missing them, etc). but they are "resolved" by just making Bernard some ultra perfect guy who knows Tim's identity
Aka the resolution he had with Stephanie in terms of the civilian/hero life balance of having someone who knows both, so Tim is getting a balance he already had and not to mention you can't even say Tim progressed in this manner or learned from his mistakes as he never revealed his ID in the first place, so it requires no growth on his end) (never explained how he does, not to mention watering down Tim's competence in keeping his ID) so it's all moot.
Tim also doesn't progress in his civilian life at all. Like he lives on a boat and (it is said that Bernard helped motivate him to do this but never shown/explained at all and all we see is Bernard saying he likes it and the people there)? Like he doesn't even meaningfuly develop a connection with the people there aside from friendly neighbors at best. As an example There was this "subplot" of them being in danger of being evicted but Tim just doesn't care at all or do anything. Like why not use some of his wealth from his dad or something to like buy people's boats and resell them at a cheaper price so the people can stay?
The people on the boat don't even offer him a meaningful civilian connection as like I said he just doesn't connect with them and even then that civilian connection is kind of moot in the last issue when they all know his identity as Robin so that balance or finding a solution is rendered moot for the same reasons as above as he already found that balance with the Batfamily/YJ friends who know both aspects of his life and again he didn't even it reveal it to them.
Like what do they offer him? People to chill in a non-vigilante way? Like he can already do that with the Batfam/YJ and not to mention that as the series showed the Marina got involved in a lot of Robin related stuff because of Tim's ID, so it's also moot.
Another point is how Bernard for a 'relationship for Tim beyond Robin' really is a relationship where the substance largely comes from Robin. Like aside from Robin is how they got together which Bernard even states in issue 3, in the beginning of issue 7 when Bernard list why he likes Tim all the things he likes about him are reflective of his role as Robin. Like his whole trusting Tim to keep him safe, Tim being special, and Tim being his lucky charm, the examples he uses are of Tim saving him as Robin/being Robin.
And issue 7 also shows like I said above that what saves the relationship is Bernard knowing that Tim is Robin. Not to mention how he really only opens up to Tim/confides in him seriously when Tim is Robin as shown in issue 3 and 9. Hell in issue 3 when he talks about wanting to help Tim, knowing that he knows his ID, when he talks about Tim 'taking too much on his own and not asking for help and loosing himself or whatever' we know it's about Robin.
And issue 10 the grand saving moment for their relationship after the 'falling out' in issue 9 was Bernard saving the day in a Robin related mission and getting the ID reveal (but not really)
Issue 7 highlights how Tim really doesn't do anything for Bernard as Tim. Like all he does is tell him that his parents suck, he's great to make him feel better, and tell us a bunch of stuff about Bernard we've never seen before.....twice and given how the issue kept emphasizing this point (to the point where villains commented on it) and how over the top his parents/with Bernards heroic it felt generic and like the bare minimum and Tim felt like an exposition device.
Tim never really talks to him about his issues with his parents or actually substantially helps him as after Tim does the above it immediately cuts back to their relationship for cute moments. Like Bernard giving him the necklace isn't even connected to Tim 'helping' as he was gonna do that anyway.
Tim as a civilain is just the BF and the real substance comes from Robin (as it was a Robin related mission and Tim saving civilians as Bernard which lead/inspired Bernard trying to save his parents and oh look Robin once again is tied to their relationship)
Also you can't just have characters do thing with little to no motivation or reason. That is bad writing.
idk why everyone wants tim to be a cheater again and the hate for the houseboat like is this character finding a stable relationship and a home which he clearly loves too much for you to handle
like the he's rich why doesnt he live in a mansion argument means nothing to me ik everyone whumps on this guy but like aside from that maybe he likes living in a houseboat? maybe he's matured enough to not cheat on his partners?
and i love that tim found someone he can be himself around like in all aspects of being himself. thats my blorbo. that's the guy i imprinted on and have stuck with for god knows however long.
Facts
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i have some questions and i hope you don't take offense, i'm just genuinely curious. is it scary having prosopagnosia, like not being able to recognize your family? do you just see their faces as complete strangers? also are you able to recognize celebrities for who they are or do you rely on something (like tags on tumblr or their voices in shows, etc) to be able to put names to faces? i remember with color rush, the kid could only remember his best friend by his hairstyle and then when his friend got a haircut, he wasn't able to recognize him. is that something you experience, too?
Hi, anon, I don't mind at all! Thank you for your questions. 💜 I'll try and answer them all but my experience with prosopagnosia might not be universal. It's more of a spectrum with some people simply having trouble remembering faces to cases even more severe than what I'm experiencing. If you're curious, the late (and absolutely wonderful) Oliver Sacks talks about it in this short video. He was a neurologist and psychiatrist and also had prosopagnosia.
That being said, I don't think prosopagnosia is scary at all. I've always had it (though there is a version of it that is acquired later in life through trauma and brain damage - that must be incredibly scary) and it's a part of me. Tbh I just always assumed everyone was like me and I was just especially bad at socialising - like there was some secret people refused to share with me. Much later I was in therapy for something unrelated and it came up. Luckily my therapist was a neurologist so she diagnosed me.
It's more... isolating and a bit embarassing. It wasn't so bad when I was younger because you pretty much stick with the same crowd in and outside of school anyway, so you learn how to tell them apart by their clothes and voices and where they sit, what number their sports jersey is etc. It's only ever really bad when unexpected things happen - like someone changing their hair or completely changing the way they look. Or when I meet people where I don't expect them to. I then no longer recognise them and that can lead to some awkwardness (like in the scene you described from Color Rush).
I remember that I once talked to a person who I thought was my dad for a whole few minutes until my actual dad showed up. I about died when I realised (so did the other person lmao).
It only ever became isolating when I went to uni and met lots of new people. I mostly met everyone once, got along just fine and then the next week (or out and about on campus) I no longer recognised them. I didn't make a lot of friends at uni. 🤣
But no, I don't think of family and friends as strangers just because I don't see their faces. Faces aren't really a part of my thought process. You'd probably have trouble telling apart your loved ones by their ankles or wrists but you wouldn't consider them a stranger because of it. Does that make sense?
As for favourite celebrities, it's a mix of voices and features that stand out. Pictures are really bad because then they're not moving and talking and that's such a huge part of what makes someone uniquely beautiful. I often have to ask @cytharat to help me out (and she's wonderfully patient and understanding). Maybe that's why I like making gifs so much?
Also, I like interesting faces and facial features that stand out: noses, moles, scars, asymmetry - things that aren't considered classically beautiful are incredibly beautiful to me because I can actually "see" them.
If all else fails I just compare ears because ears are actually a lot like like fingerprints. 🤣
#prosopagnosia#ask#about me#thank you for your questions#it's so interesting to talk about because we define ourselves so much by what we see and understand#so it never occurred to me that prosopagnosia could be scary#or that not seeing faces would automatically turn people into strangers#but it must be really scary for a non-faceblind person to think about#the best analogy i ever came across for prosopagnosia was#you know how computers have software for certain tasks?#well people have special software for recognising faces#i don't have that software#so for me trying to tell apart faces is like trying to tell apart individual blades of grass lmao
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#tried r/bangtan#wow#they're uhhh#it's a bit too r/fnatic for me#why do so many fans of things hate talking about the thing with any kind of depth#like i wanna get into the mud of shit i'm a fan of#i will spend hours there#i shall ramble#r/bangtan... god forbit anyone have an opinion other than copy-paste “wow this is good and everything is wonderful and twitter is bad :D”#could we... perhaps go a little further than this? maybe discuss something a little?#uh no we don't do that here sorry :)#'tis weird fellas 'tis weird#i mean that's the opposite of r/fnatic tbf#there it's “wow this is awful and it is x's fault and we hate them”#same thought process though#just mirrors of each other#anyway r/kpop definately a better place to be to actually talk about things#much saner people#ig if you go on a bts post on r/kpop it has to be because you're specifically intrested in that thing#on r/bangtan maybe it's just like#click on everything 'cos it's all bts?#idk#the dynamics of subreddits don't make any sense to me#how do you know if it'll be good or not#is there a code no one has told me about or something#bts
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Concerning the conversation about love and hatred, I've compiled a few of the lines I've saved through these last two years that at times make me think of Jack when it comes to this topic
Estas manos, que son tuyas,
pero que al verte quisieran
quebrar las ramas azules
y el murmullo de tus venas.
¡Te quiero! ¡Te quiero! ¡Aparta!
Que si matarte pudiera,
te pondría una mortaja
con los filos de violetas.
¡Ay, qué lamento, qué fuego
me sube por la cabeza!
(...)
¡Ay qué sinrazón! No quiero
contigo cama ni cena,
y no hay minuto del día
que estar contigo no quiera,
porque me arrastras y voy,
y me dices que me vuelva
y te sigo por el aire
como una brizna de hierba.
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Love has no middle term; either it destroys, or it saves. All human destiny is this dilemma. This dilemma, destruction or salvation, no fate proposes more inexorably than love. Love is life, if it is not death. Cradle; coffin, too. The same sentiment says yes and no in the human heart. Of all the things God has made, the human heart is the one that sheds most light, and alas! most night.
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It is sometimes said that the sword wears out the scabbard. That is my history. My passions have made me live, and my passions have killed me.
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Stronger than lover’s love is lover’s hate. Incurable, in each, the wounds they make.
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I adore you, but I hate you too. You’re a prison smothered in flowers. I can’t stand this enchantment anymore, I can’t stand being bewitched like this–when I look at you, my gaze turns to nothing but a mirror of light, I’ll stare at you hypnotized for ages, and when I stop seeing you I’ll feel you, and when I stop feeling you I’ll die.
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Someone tells me: this kind of love is not viable. But how can you evaluate viability? Why is the viable a Good Thing? Why is it better to last than to burn?
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Life is a series of obsessions one must do away with. Aren’t love, death, God, or saintliness interchangeable and circumstantial obsessions?
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she is the only thing of importance, because I have a God-relationship to her.
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it is not she who binds me, but I who have made use of her to bind myself.
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The thought that you exist is so divinely blissful in itself that it is ridiculous to talk about the everyday sadness of separation—a week’s, ten days’—what does it matter? Since my whole life belongs to you.
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What have you done with me? he asks. I have repeated you.
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But I do feel strange-almost unearthly. I’ll never get used to being alive. It’s a mystery. Always startled to find I’ve survived
Walking home, for a moment / you almost believe you could start again. / And an intense love rushes to your heart, / and hope. It's unendurable, unendurable
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I clung to him as though only the one who had inflicted the pain could comfort me for suffering it.
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I could be free … If I could pluck out the memory of him from my heart as easily as his heart was plucked from the fire, I could be free.
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I am imprisoned by devotion. I shy away from people. I am alone. I fall into depression.
She was the world That he was losing; and the world he sought Was all a tale for those who had been living, And had not lived. Once even he turned his horse, And would have brought his army back with him To make her free. They should be free together. But the Voice within him said: “You are not free. You have come to the world’s end, and it is best You are not free. Where the Light falls, death falls; And in the darkness comes the Light.
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I miss you like a knife in my throat.
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Only love can save me and love has destroyed me.
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Should I be grateful or should I curse the fact that despite all misfortune I can still feel love, an unearthly love but still for earthly objects?
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My songs are filled with poison - Why shouldn’t that be true? My heart bears a nest of serpents And also, darling, you.
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their love is like hatred
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She did not yet love him enough to be cruel to him.
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our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love
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under the sincere guise of hatred I simply loved […], only in this type of love (repulsion) I loved him with greater strength than had I loved him in the simplest form — attraction.
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Perhaps he was handsome, perhaps I found him attractive, perhaps he repelled me too.
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Struck by the abstract nature of absence; yet it’s so painful, lacerating. Which allows me to understand abstraction somewhat better: it is absence and pain, the pain of absence—perhaps therefore love?
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Eroticism is the brink of the abyss. I’m leaning out over deranged horror (at this point my eyes roll back in my head). The abyss is the foundation of the possible. We’re brought to the edge of the same abyss by uncontrolled laughter or ecstasy. From this comes a “questioning” of everything possible. This is the stage of rupture, of letting go of things, of looking forward to death.
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Love is madness. Doesn’t everyone agree that you’d do anything, endure anything, to be with the ones you love? So either you’re willing to let them use you with any sort of cruelty, so long as they keep you—which makes you a fool—or you’re willing to commit any cruelty, so long as you get to keep them—which makes you a monster. Either way, it’s madness.
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This madness is so deep-rooted and so useful that it is impossible to realize what would become of each of us if it were someday to disappear.
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If I must die of fire, why not let me die of yours: knowing that you are the author of my doom will make it more endurable to me
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His desire for loyalty was naive, he hadn’t understood that being loyal wasn’t so tidy, being loyal means being disloyal to everything else.
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I have always loved you / Always dreaded you
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You will betray me, as I have betrayed, / And I shall kiss the hand that does me wrong
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Listen: the way I loved you / was like my palm over a flame.
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If I have the destruction of something that I once loved to carry with me at all times, isn’t it like I still have a companion?
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One can fall in love and still hate.
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and I will kill thee, And love thee after.
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Yet, other characters, namely Heathcliff, Catherine, and Lockwood, remain more actively at war with love in their adult lives. Some force, as inexorable as the wind sweeping over the moors, seems to have bent their lives into a pattern of frustration that their own struggle for relief only aggravates. Their need for love is expressed, not through loving, but through the anguish of loneliness. Paradoxically, though they do not know it, this loneliness is the one condition necessary for the fulfillment of their most profound fantasy concerning perfect love: a love, that is, perfectly protected against the threat of abandonment that in childhood these sufferers learned that love entails.
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I feel you there, in every pore. Your silence clamors in my ears. You can nail up your mouth, cut your tongue out — but you can’t prevent your being there. Can you stop your thoughts? I hear them ticking away like a clock, tick-tock, tick-tock, and I’m certain you hear mine.
Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you ask? I do not know, but I feel it happen and it is excruciating.
#These were just the ones I had more at hand. I have so many lines linking to this kind of dynamic#and overall the paradoxical yet logical bond between love and hatred or resentment#I think Cathy's and Heathclif.f's relationship has a lot of this but in general Wutherin.g Heigh.ts is full of these dynamics#(I adore what is going on with Isabella when we last see her in that regard. How true‚ the fact that these loves get messy)#Charles and Adam and even Cal and Aron from Eas.t of Ede.n too#I think there's much of this explored in certain arthuria.n texts#Overall it's something I adore. The blurring of lines when it comes to feelings and relationships#To me it feels way more human and way more... realistic#How things blur into each other and get messy and dark even at times and hard to define#I don't know... I really think the fandom as a whole is always paying too much attention to that line without reading the entire text#I also dislike the claims about Jack ever only loving her and doing it all for her ✨💕 I also think it simples a lot what it's happening#But it doesn't bother me nearly as much because I don't see it that often#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#'too much attention to that line' I mean the one about hating her#Full of typos but I can't bother to change them I'm feeling very lazy#Tumblr never implemented the tag modification for the app. A pity
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Can't faith be like sexuality. Can't I be demireligious. Like yeah I can believe in God but only if I've forged a deep emotional connection with the divine in me and went through the pits of despair and horrors first. Like is that a thing.
#[meaningless statement]#i could try and weave thoughts about faith and divinity but i would fail i am literally shaking with exhaustion#so instead a funny thought#when we talk about religion i'm sometimes so puzzled by how to define myself#like - i'm faithqueer (not making it a real thing) - i'm on the spectrum#idk and i wonder how faith and a lack of emotional permanence can coexist#i have so much faith but i don't know in what#reciproeligious - i can have faith in God but only if i know he has faith in me first
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Forgot to mention it but there was a huge debate at my study group the other day about wether or not you could call yourself an historian after getting your bachelor degree and two of my favorite profs were defending opposing views and they were trying to keep it light and funny but you could see that they were getting lowkey heated and for a so-called academic I actually don't do that well with conflicts so I was like haaa mom and dad stop arguing!! T_T but anyway, my one german prof that some have called 'intimidating' went to see me me and my buddy who accidentally started the debate earlier (by joking that he was about to graduate and could finally call himself an historian), put his arms around our shoulders and kindly told us that we could call ourselves historians if we want so I guess that was some nice validation lmao
#i'm not even about to graduate right away but i'll take it lmao#i don't care what the world says as long as mr. B agree with me i know i'm in the right#and he's like a real historian if you google his name that's how google define him and he published cool books and all lol#tho to me he will always be the very sweet man who asked me if i needed him to call me an ambulance after i almost passed out in his class#(i was like nooo can you just go get me some water and i'll walk home. he was perplexed but i survived lol)#for some absolutely cursed reason he looks a little bit like ben shapiro on his google picture but oh well that's not his fault lmao#i don't want to actually doxx myself by naming him but i probably will when i graduate or something 'cause he's cool and sweet#btw no i don't think you can be fully qualified as an historian with only a bachelor#but yes i do think that the question is a bit more nuanced and that's pretty much what my nice prof defended#like my druggie early 20's self had some genuine understanding of the middle ages and interesting thesis about Edward II and his bunch!#and many other 'amateurs' have something to bring to the field and we should very much embrace that! i'll that on that hill!!#but my other prof is also super nice and not an elitist asshole btw i'm not even trying to talk shit#he's this stern italian man who always gave me As and then wrote long paragraphs about how i could do much better and i love him lmao#he thought me about medieval poetry and every single one of his classes is a great memory#but yeah he's uptight and european and old-school and tbh i kinda respect that too lol
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This was it, even though you never asked.
#i wouldn't have ever considered you a 'one that got away.'#i never had you#and you definitely never had me#but those first few lines definitely defined my initial stages of depression at realising I'd been used and discarded like a doll#i held on for you. and even then what I'd managed wasn't good enough for you.#you very conveniently forgot that I'd been the one to start every conversation since you went radio silent after japan#texted you on your birthday (because I REMEMBERED)#but we don't talk about that bit do we? just the parts where my attempts assauge your guilt#got drunk with my friends last night and talked about love. guess I woke up this morning a bit...I don't know. you never even occurred to me#that part of my life is over- I felt weird to know how much pain you caused me and yet you didn't even come up in my mind-#when I was talking about every love I've had.#i suppose because what we were to each other was unbalanced. I asked for one thing- you said the opposite but your actions followed my words#said you loved me and that I was your heart. but you treated me with distance and hardly a thought#i acted distant for a time. but I was young and stupid and believed your words instead of your actions#so then you got what you wanted. a clingy lovesick girl while you got to sit back and...what?#that's the only bit I still hold onto. I look at that girl and want to weep for how she'd been so blind. empty excuses and loaded actions.#but I loved you. and I took any excuse you fed me. the alternative was to face the fact that I'd wasted so much emotion and time on someone-#who didn't truly care for me#Spotify
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"if only i can prove enough y through my efforts at x then z will be guaranteed" so true that But It Won't Be Guaranteed Actually. so true that accepting as much means x can be appreciated in its own right
#it's just like bloodsong of love says a couple of particularly crystal clear ways....so true bloodsong of love....#guaranteed i guess that like: one exists in the first place. anything else not so much#beyond that like not sure i'd talk about Gratitude personally lol but appreciation? sure. recognizing value but like grateful? that's okay#or we can all fall back on ''buuut basically good things Will happen to good people & bad things Will happen to bad people'' 5ever#someone in more vulnerable circumstances like wellll probablyyyy they're a bad person to warrant that anywayyyy....#forget the Maybe They're Born With It like if we all like them we all think they're Hot; dislike them? we all think they're Ugly#& Of Course it's this way. thanks to god i guess#anyway just like via note to self like uh oh you weren't straightup appreciating X In Its Own Right....don't put any ideas upon it like#& surely if these efforts are Y enough it will yield Z....hand on shoulder no it won't. aw you're right & it's not a Disappointment#speaking of bloodsong saying that; joe iconis like the most fun time to be on stage at bmc bway being on closing night#b/c there wasn't a sense of anything Hanging In The Balance about it like but if only Y enough then Show Won't Close / As Soon#and then rick moranis was there??? complete coincidence apparently & like i for one don't file that one under divine reward#what with that's not how i think of things & if that is how things are going that's not my business thus far....#but like flipside is how good things happen Outside of an idea they're all always merited through your efforts#& the coincidental good things happened in all the circumstances & contexts around it but nobody Orchestrated that#not to say all effort is a waste & act as though it's all chaos. pointing back to the It Just Doesn't Truly Guarantee Anything#and to the Appreciate The Efforts / Events In Their Own Right Without Thinking That If They Really Have Worth They'll Guarantee Z#so totally unrelated: batman cartoon Beatemup written out sound effects brawling with [the normativity narrative behind Romance]#which is also fascinating to hold up to bsol. You Know Me (rising tone across that) & sure doesn't say romance(tm) is guaranteed#but if People Don't Just Love You probably a bad person then....& if People Do Love You probably guaranteed all the good things then#brawling with Love now like what is being conflated with / subsumed into Other People's Feelings / Other People Wanting Something From You#/ Other People Wanting To Stake A Degree Of Claim Of Ownership Defined By Maximal Exclusivity & you're welcome for all of these
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alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget
(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):
(note there will be setlist spoilers)
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- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!
Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).
also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.
(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)
- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.
- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.
- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.
- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)
- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.
- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include
- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)
- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh
- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.
- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).
- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.
- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.
- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.
- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)
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- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)
anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)
edit: someone added a few more!!!
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anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.
and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.
this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!
#it is safe to say i have genuinely endless respect & admiration for this person who happens to be my favorite artist in the world#i could not be happier or moreso in my neutral state of how i feel like things should be than i am at the ag show#also the more i hear him talk the more i realize homie reminds me of... me.#not in a “me modeling my behaviors after him because i look up to him” kinda way#though i certainly have picked up on small things there like i tend to with folks#like phrases and the like#but no#moreso just in a “the two of us happen to share some innate similarities in regards to a buncha stuff” kinda way#just an observation. in hindsight i wonder if i subconsciously picked up on this back when i was first getting into his music#n that contributed to it resonating with me so much#i don't know man i just know i'm glad 2 have this dude's music in my life and to see homie thriving#truly hope we can meet @ a show sometime soon so i can dive into how much of a positive impact he's had on my life. i have so much to say!!#i tried to make that happen at this show i really did#i just guess it wasn't meant 2 happen then. and that is okay!! i know it will whenever it's meant to.#going back to what i said about everything just feeling.... right at the show i keep thinking about how while i miss that already#and am kinda having a crisis where in my head i feel like i'm still there (or should be) as opposed 2 here back in regular just. life#i'm just glad and lucky moments like this show are a real thing that can be my life at all.#basically i just mean the vibe of ag shows feels like everything i define my life by really#realized as something/place i can actually physically experience.#shows r my safe space that embody everything i dream about when i'm just going about day to day life#live music is everything 2 me & that's only amplified exponentially by folks like anthony that get it & turn shows even moreso into a home#thanks for reading if you have#i'm truly glad to have this space where i feel like i can talk about Everything#i love that on here the “oversharing” thing is just a thing everyone does#actually that ties back to what i brought up about anthony#i respect how unapologetically open that dude is in ways that might be “too much” for some people & really connect 2 that#point is i am so grateful for days like this and music like this and people like this#anthony green#circa survive#wavernot4love talks ag tunes
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Clan Leader Geto Headcanons
Clan/cult leader Suguru x fem reader- Suguru Geto is the head of HIS clan and totally HATES monkeys, and forced to marry YOU (I see this trope w/Gojo sm - I'm putting Suguru in Satoru's position hehe)
MDNI- explicit sexual content, reader is a virgin but not much is mentioned in it aside from she doesn't know things lol, obsessed Suguru, masturbation (Suguru) oral (f receiving) lowkey hate sex, he calls you a monkey, is an asshole, reader calls him psycho, Geto is bad at feelings lol.
This is a mini series now - Baby you're no Good
Clan Leader Geto who finds out he's forced to marry a human of all things!? A pathetic, pretty human with absolutely no cursed energy, so he detests you on sight.
Clan Leader Geto is disgusted by the thought of having to be with you, he certainly doesn't want to kiss you at the wedding. Sure he sleeps with members of his cult, and he can see you're gorgeous, but mortals just have no pull for him. When you're walking up in these pretty white robes for their wedding day, he tries not to even look in your direction.
Clan Leader Geto doesn't realize you are terrified, you've heard just how insane this curse user is, and you certainly don't want to be with someone like this. Sure, he's a beautiful man, his long silky black hair, his violet eyes that land on you for just a moment, he's tall and has the perfect jaw line, but you can't be interested in him, when full of fear. But, you must do your duty.
Clan Leader Geto leans down and gives you a perfunctory kiss as you all get married, you see all the women who are obsessed with him whispering about you, making you lower your head, as Suguru tries to figure out just what it was that he felt from you, glaring and grabbing your wrist. 'do you have any cursed energy?' you pull back your hand. 'you already know the answer' so why then does he feel something odd from your energy!?
Clan Leader Geto decides to ignore whatever thoughts those are, laughing and having a goblet of wine as he talks amongst the actual people that matter, the people with cursed energy, and unfortunately the members of the Geto clan, who annoy him to no end. But he tolerates them, as they help him garner more power, after all. When he sees someone dancing along with you at the party, something makes his jaw clench, and why!?
Clan Leader Geto is forced to have to spend the night in the luxurious room they have set up for the two of you, he walks in and sees you in some translucent nightgown, which hits him in the gut, and he can't really figure out why, except he is a man, and his body is reacting, but he just narrows violet eyes at you, while you're brushing your hair in the mirror. You stand up nervously, giving him just a little lowering of your head, before you look at him with frightened eyes, he chuckles a bit, undoing his green and gold belt, then untying his hair, letting it fall softly.
Clan Leader Geto steps to you with an open robe, showcasing a strong chest and defined abdomen, his perfect skin stretched to fit such muscles, stepping closer as he assesses you, murmuring 'guess we should get this over with' your heart beats out of your chest, completely unsure of just what that entails aside from what you've heard, you've been very sheltered as his promised bride. 'must we?' you ask, earning his mean laugh. 'I don't want to anymore than you do, monkey' you glare now, undoing your gown and letting it fall to your feet, watching his thin nostrils flare, his lips part.
Clan Leader Geto is momentarily stunned at the sight of your body, cock already straining in his pants, he instantly hates you more for your stupid effects, as you step to the futon, decorated in blacks and reds, spreading your legs and showing a perfect, pretty little pussy making his mouth water, not that he'd admit it. He disrobes and you see his cock, huge, he steps forward, grabbing you by your hair then, tilting your chin up. 'Do you even know what to do?' your jaw clenches, as he leans forward, the prick of him pulling your hair making you want to cry out in pain. 'no, I do not, but I'm ready'
Clan Leader Geto chuckles, pressing you pack and grabbing you by your hips, before sucking on his two fingers, lewd as his cheeks hollow, then sinking them in your cunt, making you cry out at the stretch. He is cursing internally that you're that tight, because he won't in fact fit easily. 'Tsk, now I'll have to prep a monkey, detestable' you gasp at him, hips arching up 'and I have to fuck a psycho, detestable' at that Suguru snaps, curling his fingers up and hitting some spot that makes you gush down his fingers, as he scissors them faster and faster, nipping at your breasts, earning your smack and his glare 'you dare smack me?' you panic, realizing your folly, but he's hitting some spot that feels too good, so now you're panting, as his cock is leaking precum, ready to slip inside
Clan Leader Geto sinks into your tight entrance, he gives you no mercy or room to adjust, eyes dilated as he sinks so deep you're screaming out, nails digging into his biceps, still scowling at him 'get it o-over with' you whisper, he tries to stifle a moan at how good you feel, better than anything, wondering just what the fuck you are. 'oh, so done with me already, monkey?' he taunts, pumping in and out of your tight little cunt then, and you ignore how good it starts to feel, holding in every sigh, just glaring 'just give me your heir quickly' he loses himself then, burying his face in your neck, there he can allow his eyes to shut in ecstasy, as he fucks into you, feeling your walls flutter despite your words
Clan Leader Geto wants to hear your moans but you refuse out of spite, but when he leans up and pushes up your thighs, and his huge, veiny length is hitting your cervix, you have to cover your face, earning him yanking your wrists down. 'I'll look upon you' he pins your wrists up, fucking harder and harder until you can't stop the orgasm that happens, making you whimper, eyes rolling back, mouth open in this slutty O, and Suguru can't take how sexy you look, he busts so deep inside you, cumming more than he ever has, loads of hot sticky white ropes deep, and he pauses then, as your eyes lock on each other, just staring at you for far too long before you glare 'you're all done, could you get off me?'
Clan Leader Geto fucks you the next night, but he's tired of you acting like you don't like it, so he leans back on his knees, seeing the bulge of his cock in your tummy, finding your clit with his thumb and watching you fall apart, thighs clenching his hips as you whine pathetically. 'stop that!' he chuckles now 'why, monkey?' you grip his wrist, feeling the climax starting, the pressure in your tummy when he rolls it in circles 'just cum inside me, stop doing th-that!' Suguru can't stop, not when he watches you fall apart, feels you cumming all over his cock, no he needs to get you off again. Using it as an excuse to keep cum inside you, he's fingering his cum back in you the next night, making you jerk and twitch, and then he realizes he just needs more.
Clan Leader Geto can't STOP thinking about fucking you again, and again, to the point he's got you in his office, fucking up into you leaned back in his seat, then he decides no he needs more, and he's got you cockwarming him as he starts his cult meetings. He toys with your clit as you soak his cock, chuckling in your ear - 'you're so slutty now, huh' earning you clenching your pussy so tight he almost busts, scowling at you. You hate him more when he's licking your pussy soon, you're yanking dark locks, the feel of his tastebuds in your pussy is far too much 'this isn't how heirs are m-made, just f-fuck me, you psycho' you try to detatch his mouth, but it's already sucking on your clit, as he gets this taste of you, he's ended, and can't stop, only pulling up with glossy lips and dilated eyes to smirk up at you 'it'll help make... heirs, foolish monkey' you shake your head and he's chuckling as he's lapping up your wetness 'orgasms help it take, hmm?'
Clan Leader Geto finds every opportunity to eat out his new bride, with the intention of course of getting her pregnant sooner! there is no other reason, he justifies, couldn't be that your taste drives him insane, or feeling your walls quivering around his tongue makes him cum from just that, soon you're just getting eaten out and he's not fucking you, making you cum over and over on his mouth, whenever he asks you to see him, that's what he's doing, and you're starting to forget how awful he is, your stupid head too fucked up from orgasms. His assistant walks in on his head buried between your thighs, the one he used to fuck actually, and she clears her throat as Suguru looks at her and glares - 'what- m'busy' you close your legs nervously, adjusting your robes as the assistant sighs 'we have that cult meeting, Mr. Geto' he frowns, because he'd rather eat you out than do that, and you remember then, he's horrible and psychotic, and hop off, leaving in a rush.
Clan Leader Geto finds you crying later because the people in his group are calling you worthless, a monkey, this and that, things he calls you, but for some reason he's infuriated, as he sees tears streak down your face 'I hate it here! I do!' you're shutting him out now, as you realize you're the only human in a place full of people who don't want you to exist, mainly your husband, a husband although you've had sex with countless times, you have never even kissed, a husband who hates you. After ignoring him for weeks, he begins to jerk off to the thought of you, begins to take your underwear and lick it, as he strokes his cock, ignoring every advance, too stubborn to admit he wants more with you. How can he!? You're a stupid monkey after all, so he just keeps pleasuring himself as you pull away, as you lock your door, until you finally come in and say - 'I'm pregnant, it's... we don't have to again' and Suguru drops to his knees.
So this will be a long oneshot or mini series- Suguru is gonna be an asshole cult leader but down bad for you, a MONKEY lmfao, some hate sex FOR SURE, lmk if you wanna get tagged when it's out <3
Permatags: @alt--er--love @seeing-stars-alt @indiewritesxoxo @nanasukii28 @makingtimemine @cuntphoric @loafteaw @aldebrana @n1vi @miizuzu @beachaddict48 @honeybunnnnie @re-tired-succubus @gojosukuna2268 @waterfal-ling @1brii @wise-fangirl @moncher-ire @orikixx @uhnosav @baepsays @designerpvssy @orixxxana @jinjen and tagging @norikuna bc it's Sugu hehe
#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x you#suguru geto x reader#jjk smut#divider by strangergraphics#suguru geto x y/n#jjk x you#suguru geto x female reader#geto x female reader#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#suguru headcanons#geto headcannons#geto drabbles#taglist open#current wip
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I've got some great fuckin news
Once again got a bee in my bonnet to spend a night doing obscure fandom research to make a point, so. For all those people who keep making the annoying, "Tim keeps '''stealing'' other peoples' names" comments -- have a table.
Everyone with a check mark has used that codename at some point in DC's 80+ year continuity -- Elseworlds and alternate dimensions/timelines count, adaptations (movies, video games, cartoons, etc.) don't unless they've got comic book tie-ins, and neither do in-universe dream sequences/illusions/fantasies/other narrative elements that are objectively "not real" within the boundaries of the fiction.
A purple marker indicates an element that only applies in Elseworlds or alternate timelines. Yellow is for the originator of the legacy title. Star symbol is for borderline cases/extenuating circumstances/it's open to interpretation (with some further elaboration below).
The "other" column is just there to account for people who've held lesser or non-legacy titles, like Renegade, Wingman, Arkham Knight, Drake, Redbird, Talon, Deadman, Black Bat, Orphan and Catwoman.
Point being: the people who have actually gone through the most legacy titles in this family are Dick, Babs and Jason, tied with 5 each (again, not counting "other;" if we counted those separately Dick would've had by far the most). Tim is tied with Steph AND Helena Wayne, so unless you're whining about them "stealing other peoples' names" you're just wrong, and they're all only one higher than Damian, Carrie and Bruce.
This is a legacy family that passes their codenames up and down the inheritance line. It's what they do. It's not a legitimate criticism to level at one character and not the others. Please get over it.
EDIT: I realize after posting this that I missed some colors on the table, mostly with Babs' Elseworld only roles (Batwoman and Nightwing) but I'm too tired to go back and correct them; refer to the info below for more details.
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Further elaboration on some of the lesser known/niche cases:
- Bruce uses the Robin ID in Superman & Batman: Generations
- In the second half of Thrillkiller ‘62, Babs cuts her hair and dons the Robin costume worn by her deceased partner Dick to get revenge on his killer; however the only name ever used for her in the series is Batgirl
- Cassandra was a member of the Robins orphan gang from Dark Knights of Steel.
- Duke was a member of the We Are Robins gang, as well as the aforementioned DKS orphan gang, and has appeared as Robin in a couple of Elseworlds, including I believe a White Knight spin-off.
- Cass was Batwoman in one of the versions of the Titans Tomorrow, as was Bette Kane, depending on changes to the timeline.
- Babs is Batwoman in the Batman ‘66 comics and in the 1980 story “The Secret Origin of Bruce (Superman) Wayne”
- Earth-3 Steph is Batwoman in Young Justice 2019.
- Helena Wayne is Batwoman in the possible future story Last Rites
- Tim is a member of the Batgirls vigilante/little league baseball team in the DC Bombshells universe, as is Cullen Row. Some call them the “Batboys” instead. I call those people cowards.
- Helena Bertinelli wore the costume that would later become Cass’s signature Batgirl look during No Man’s Land. However, she was more often referred to as “The Bat” and her Batgirl status is up to individual interpretation.
- Dick didn’t originate the Nightwing name, it started with Clark in the Silver Age.
- Steph has never been Nightwing. The panel where she appears in the costume is a Black Mercy illusion that happens only in her own mind. It’s a dream sequence.
- Barbara was Nightwing in the Smallville Season 11 comics.
- Terry was briefly Nightwing in volume 4 of Batman Beyond.
- Damian briefly became Nightwing after accidentally killing Dick in the Injustice series.
- Dick is Oracle in the “Eight Wonders of the World” version of Earth 2 (aka the Black Superman dimension)
#batrant#I don't have to rant just to drop a great fic link but....the original post#in this house we love....tables. we love graphs. we love data and facts and autism#anyway becoming a Tim Drake fan is the worst thing that's ever happened to me send help#how come when other characters get misinterpreted they get Benefits or at least Shallow But Positive Caricatures#but I get 'tim is boring he's just there he doesn't do anything'#'tim is just a sexist asshole he's not even that good' 'tim is so pathetic he has beef with a 9 year old for literally no reason'#'tim is incapable of doing anything ever' 'tim is just a tiny bruce (derogatory)' 'tim deserves Every Bad Thing actually'#'tim is overrated' (where???) 'I see him everywhere' (sHOW ME WHERE...I WANT TO LIVE THERE) 'they make him too perfect' (I DOUBT IT)#'they make everyone coddle him' (maybe he Deserves It after getting Decades of NO CODDLING AT ALL)#'he doesn't have a Thing' (bitch he IS the thing) 'he stole everything from Dick' (Dick also 'Stole' shit from Tim#Robins literally share so much shit across media that some people don't know there's more than one)#(...cannot believe I read with my own eyes that DICK was the first Robin with pants.....IN KINGDOM COME.)#side note: Tim started calling his shit Redname BEFORE Dick became Red Robin. so I've decided that shit was always meant to be his :)#side side note: DAMIAN GOT NAMED AFTER TIM'S FUCKING CAR BUT WHO'S TALKING ABOUT THAT???#people think Tim's a self-insert but he has.....traits that are. definitely not something you would give a normal blank self-insert#like even from his Intro...were most comic readers little stalker freaks that wanted to travel alone to a hero's civilian home???#little weirdos that wanted to watch their heroes with binoculars?? and break into their old apartment to look for clues and steal shit??#did readers want to be the first and only Explicitly Unwanted But 'Needed' Robin that Defined just how Bad everyone was doing??#did they beg to be parentified and made responsible for grownass adults' violent outbursts despite not being Trapped in the situation???#were readers inserting themselves on That???? Tim sometimes has relatable shit Happen To Him but his Reactions.....#he is not a blank self-insert. he is not there to have a good cathartic time. he's there to suffer and be a punching bag.#also...I know it's Fanon that Tim stalked them Nightly (a fanon I will Always engage with god bless) but like#he Did get Concerningly Clear Close-ups of a Fast-Paced Fight for his 'first time'. he Did have info that he couldn't get from the news.#he Did have a concerning amount of ease with crossing state lines alone to 'follow' Dick Grayson.#and he was sure fuckin quick on that shutter button for someone who had No interest in photography/Never Once stalked his heroes up close.#I don't necessarily think he got rescued by Jason or eavesdropped on a bunch of important events or anything but like...I just think.#he lived in Multiple Residences within Gotham. not in Bristol. he didn't have to bike anywhere to see them. I'm just fuckin saying.
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can’t stop thinking abt s1 rafe x shy!pogue!reader where he’s so mean to her but she has the fattest crush on him 😢😢
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ YOUR CRUSH ON RAFE CAMERON WAS ALMOST DEGRADING. it was exciting for him because it made him wonder how much he could push you. how much he could push you, and you'd still look at him with those adoring eyes of yours. how long you would offer up your body, innocent with your pouty lips.
it didn't matter if rafe dismissed you, or if he acted as if you didn't exist—you stayed there, trailing after him like a lost puppy. he liked it too, the thought that no matter what he did, you would still be there.
really, it was sickening how much you liked rafe. he'd push you away, cold mask on his face, the words, 'dirty pogue,' already on his lips—yet you would come back to him. with your soft words, and little gifts. sometimes you left him a small snack, a glittery pink pen etching your initials. sometimes he'd try not to notice the way you'd always be hopeful during parties with your tiny clothes, almost ready to talk to him.
see, he was nice to girls. how could he not be? but you. you defined every rule in the book. you were way to nice, you were a pogue, and lastly, there was the persistence. you wanted a boyfriend, not a hookup. but you were testing every limit he had with your presence.
he could barely control himself with you around, groaning softly when he saw you coming his way. there was a meekness to you, almost as if you were surprised you were even talking to him.
"rafe?" you'd call, and when he turned around. of course, you were already blushing, pursing your lips to hide your smile, "um...would you mind signing this?"
rafe looked at you again, licking his lips before regarding your pleading look, "yea, why not. what's it for?" then he looked down at you, holding eye contact for a little longer than usual. quickly you got flustered, blinking down as you tried to hold eye contact back.
"uh—it's just for something."
"something? tryna be mysterious and shit?"
"oh no rafe! i—"
finally, he snapped, "alright listen. i know you like me, but uh, i don't do that girlfriend or boyfriend bullshit. especially not with a pogue," he drawled as he gave you a once over, before giving you slight look, "now, either we hook up or nothing."
you gulped, shocked at his outburst, but you couldn't help but pout. wasn't this what you wanted? all dressed up in your cute jumpsuit, all dolled up for him. so he could look at you, so he could appreciate you. at this point all you just wanted was him. but you couldn't give yourself up that quickly. all the blood rushed up to your head, and you knew you were blushing. hard.
"i don't know what you're talking about!" you blubbered, taking a step away from rafe. he laughed, cocking his head.
"oh shittt, don't give me those pretty eyes and tell me you don't want to fuck me?"
suddenly you bit your lip, feeling shy. this was the most you had ever said to him. of course it had to go this way. so you did what every normal person did; murmur something softly that was hard to pick up. but rafe was rafe, he perked up, eyes full of glee. as if he was enjoying your torment.
"c'mon doll, spit it out."
"i..."
"yeah? do i need to draw it out of you?" he whispered, stepping closer to you. your lashes fluttered, feeling like a deer in headlights. now or never. heat went through your body before you looked back up at him. you blinked slowly, a shy look on your face, taking a deep breath.
"i...i do."
with his tongue tucked in his cheek, rafe leaned back, and signed the paper radiating smug satisfaction, "good. good. now that's settled, lemme finish something here before we get to that."
then rafe gave you a once over as if he knew the effect he had on you, before rising to leave, "see you tonight."
#frat!rafe#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#my most suggestive work so far...#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron prompt#rafe fluff#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#tw: suggestive#div cr anitalenia
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I don't think there is a significant or notable number of people who believe transmascs are not oppressed.
I feel slightly insane just having to type this out, but this is rhetoric you inevitably come across if you discuss transfeminism on Tumblr.
The mainstream, cissexist understanding of transmasculine people is the Irreversible Damage narrative (one that's old enough to show up in Transsexual Empire as well) of transmascs as "misguided little girls", "tricked" into "mutilating themselves". It is a deliberately emasculating and transphobic narrative that very explicitly centers on oppression, even if the fevered imaginings misattribute the cause. As anyone who's dealt with the gatekeeping medical establishment knows, they are far from giving away HRT or even consults with both hands, and most transfems I know have a hard enough time convincing people to take DIY T advice, leave alone "tricking" anyone into top surgery.
Arguably, the misogyny that transmasculine folks experience is the defining narrative surrounding their existence, as transmasculinity is frequently and erroneously attributed to "tomboyish women" who resent their position in the patriarchy so much they seek to transition out of it. This rhetoric is an invisiblization of transmasculinity, constructed deliberately to preserve gendered verticality, for if it were possible to "gain status" under the sexed regime, its entire basis, its ideological naturalization, would fall apart.
Honestly, the actual discussions I see are centered around whether "transmisogyny" is a term that should apply to transmascs and transfems alike. While I understand the impetus for that discussion, I feel like the assertion that transmisogyny is a specific oppression that transfems experience for our perceived abandonment of the "male sex" is often conflated with the incorrect idea that we believe transmasculine people are not oppressed at all. This is not true, and we understand, rather acutely, that our society is entirely organized around reproductive exploitation. That is, in fact, the source of transfeminine disposability!
I know I'm someone who "just got here" and there is a history here that I'm not a part of, but so much of that history is speckled with hearsay and fabrication that I can't even attempt to make sense of it. All I know is that I, in 2024, have been called a revived medieval slur for effeminate men by people who attribute certain beliefs to me based on my being a trans woman who is also a feminist, and I simply do not hold those views, nor do I know anyone who sincerely does.
If you're going to attempt to discredit a transfeminist, or transfeminism in general, then please at least do us the courtesy of responding to things we actually say and have actually argued instead of ascribing to us phantom ideologies in a frankly conspiratorial fashion. I also implore people to pay attention to how transphobic rhetoric operates out in the wider world, how actual reactionaries talk about and think of trans people, instead of fixating so hard on internecine social media clique drama that one enters an alternate reality--a phantasm, as Judith Butler would put it.
Speaking of which--do y'all have any idea how overrepresented transmascs are in trans studies and queer theory? Can we like, stop and reckon with reality-as-it-is, instead of hallucinating a transfeminine hegemony where it doesn't exist? I'm aware a lot of their output isn't particularly explicative on the material realities of transmasculine oppression despite their prominence in the academy, but that is ... not the fault of trans women, who face extremely harsh epistemic injustice even in trans studies.
The actual issue is how invisiblized transmasculine oppression is and how the epistemicide that transmasculine people face manifests as a refusal to differentiate between the misogyny all women face, reproductive exploitation in particular, and the contours of violence, erasure, and oppression directed at specifically transmasculine people.
You will notice that is a society-wide problem, motivated by a desire to erase the possibilities of transmasculinity, to the point of not even being willing to name it. You will notice that I am quite familiar with how this works, and how it's completely compatible with a materialist transfeminist framework that analyzes how our oppression is--while distinct--interlinked and stems from the same root.
I sincerely hope that whoever needs to see this post sees it, and that something productive--more productive dialogue, at least--can arise from it.
#transfeminism#gender is a regime#materialist feminism#lesbian feminism#sex is a social construct#social constructionism#feminism#transmisogyny#anti transmasculinity#transphobia#erasure#epistemic injustice#epistemicide#queer theory#queer studies#queer academia
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