#I don't know exactly why you sent this but it is definitely appreciated

[blackbirdie1234]

Hey!! I love your fic's so much!

Can I request a Jacob x Fem!reader where they are friends but reader has a crush on Jacob. When he shifts he leaves and does what he did to Bella like ignoring her and Billy won't answer the door.

Mutual pinning but neither knows. He imprints on reader.

Thank you so much keep up the great writing :)

Also, I was wondering if you are going to be doing the vampires as well?

Hi!, Thank you so much for the request! I appreciate the kind words <3

I will be doing fanfics for the vampires as well! As of right now I only have the wolves, but I am planning on making a master list for the vamps and Bella. If you want to make a request for them I can definitely do that! I am planning on making a fic for Jasper soon!

A/N: Not proofread! I aged Jacob up a bit, you both are seventeen here. I didn't know exactly how to end this but I think I might do a spin-off series off of this fic so if you are interested in that let me know. Also, sorry for the late posting I am currently sick and going through it lmao. Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: Jacob being an ass, cursing, angst, Y/N with a backbone.

Wolf’s Out Of The Bag

Jacob Black x Fem!reader

You were staring blankly down at your phone. Ten phone calls, ten phone calls sent to voicemail. Ten desperate, pleading voicemails. No callback, no text, nothing received. You snapped your phone closed and threw it down on the bed.

It had been two weeks since Jacob stormed off from your house after getting into a small disagreement, at least it started off that way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"It's nothing you need to worry about, Jacob," You grumbled with a slight roll of your eyes. Hoping he would drop the subject.

He was giving you an irritated look. You lightly pushed him with your shoulder giving him a small smile.

"I didn't think you'd care that much, it was one date and it's never happening again," you noted with a light-hearted laugh to ease the tension.

He turned to face you, irritation turning to anger. You could actually feel the heat radiating off of his body next to yours.

"Wow you must be really dumb, I mean how could you even think about going on a date with that pig. He's not good enough for you, but then again if you were desperate enough to give him a chance maybe I'm wrong" He barked getting more bitter with each word.

You look at him in shock.

"Why would you say that to me" You said not believing what you were hearing. "It's really none of your business who I go out with, you aren't my bodyguard, you don't have to 'protect' me. When did you get the right to decide who is 'good enough' for me? Huh? You're being a dick and I don't know why but it better change right now." You say sternly. He has never acted like this before and this sudden behavior change is not sitting well with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob left shortly after that. He had gotten so angry he was shaking, you can't even remember the words that were thrown after that. Now, he wasn't answering the phone. Billy said he came down with mono, you didn't know how much you believed it but decided to trust that Billy wouldn't lie to you.

Jacob was your best friend, you loved him a lot. You had never had such an intense fight, you never thought he would react the way he did. You only went on the stupid date to get Jacob out of your head, you thought that maybe you would get over Jacob if you found someone else to pay attention to. You were wrong, no one made you feel the way that Jacob did. Jacob made you feel at home, you couldn't explain why but it was like he was the person you were meant to be with. He was the one who understood you fully and would never judge you for anything you said or did. Until now......

You were deeply hurt by what Jacob said to you, and if he thought that you would get over it he was surely mistaken. He had never said anything more hurtful to you in your entire friendship. You had thought about just letting it go, letting life run its course even if it meant Jacob being out of your life, but you couldn't just sit and let him speak to you that way. You wanted answers. Sitting in your room waiting for him to call and explain was becoming too stressful. You sat there for hours overthinking and no matter what you were doing you were replaying the moment in your mind.

You must be going crazy. At least that's what you were trying to convince yourself after seeing Jacob cliff-jumping with Sam Uley and his gang. You had decided that you would go to La Push, and relax your body and mind on one of the only partly cloudy days in Forks. The skies were pretty clear but there was a storm coming soon, so you decided to do it now. Never in your life did you think you would see what you were seeing now. Are you fucking serious? was all you could think as you drove your car straight to Billy Black's house. You wanted to make sure it was really Jacob, so you went to the man who had told you how 'serious' his condition was in the first place.

As you pulled into the driveway the clouds began covering the sky in a dark grey mass. You hopped out of the car and began walking to the front door, Billy had opened the door as soon as you stepped onto the wood. His face had a mix of concern and confusion as he noticed your agitated expression and the way your chest was slightly heaving from anger.

"Where is he" you say with a grumble.

"He's not here, he went out," He says seriously but looking down a bit not wanting to make eye contact. Billy didn't like lying to you and to your face it was even worse.

Just as you were about to speak you looked to the side and saw that far away down the hill, Jacob stood playfully nudging another man as a few more came out of the woods.

"Don't Y/N" Billy said in warning.

You started stomping down the hill, ignoring Billy's yells. Billy calling your name caught the attention of Jacob, as his face shifted from laughing to completely still. You continued to walk towards Jacob as the rain started, it quickly went from a drizzle to full pouring as you finally reached him.

To say you were fuming would be an understatement.

"What the actual fuck Jacob!" you say basically screaming at the shirtless man, who was now staring directly into your eyes with what looked like pure amazement but you ignored it the best you could, whatever love for him you felt in that moment may have been strong but you were too angry to care so you continued.

"So we have one fight and you ignore me for two weeks?! I called you ten times, ten times Jacob. You couldn't bother picking up the phone at least once, you could've told me you didn't want to be friends but no! You had your daddy lie to me" You say with an angry laugh.

"I thought you were sick Jacob! Too sick to pick up the damn phone and text me! Come to find out you were just having too much fun cliff jumping with the guys we used to make fun of! You know what you can have them, If you want to throw away seventeen years of friendship then be my guest." You say finally taking a breath.

The weight off of your chest feels amazing, but as you finish Jacob falls to his knees. The boys behind him look between you two with pure shock on their faces before they start laughing and smiling. You look up at them shocked and confused thinking they were making fun of you. They start walking away but not before patting Jake on the back. Sam leans down and whispers something to him as he sits there still on his knees staring at you.

"Do you even care about a word I just said to you? You know what never mind if you think this is a joke I might as well leave," You say turning around and starting to walk away.

Jacob suddenly found his voice as he quickly got to his feet and stumbled trying to reach you.

"WAIT! Wait, wait, Y/N please hold on!" He spoke hurriedly. Grasping for your hand and pulling you around. Hand now resting on your waist.

"I am so, so sorry. Please let me explain everything, I promise I won't lie to you anymore. I can explain everything now, just come inside and dry off." He said pleadingly, trying his best to get you to listen to him.

You thought for a moment, you didn't trust him at all but the way he was speaking you knew he was telling the truth to some extent. It was hard for him to lie to you, you know how Jacob works, you know the subtle mannerisms he has when he's not telling the truth. Considering all of this you finally speak.

"Fine, but if things don't add up or I find out you are still lying, I am gone," You say sternly, pulling his hands away from you and walking up the hill.

When you get to the house, Jacob gives you warm tea and a blanket which you take from him without a word. He comes over and sits across from you. He almost reaches for your hand but stops himself.

"The day that I left your house, something changed, I changed...." He claimed, looking at your reaction with a hint of fear but continued "This is going to sound crazy, but you have to believe me on this..... I am a werewolf"

You stared at him for a moment before throwing the blanket off and standing up, Jacob followed suit immediately. You threw him a glare before starting to walk out.

"No, No, Y/N wait!" he shouted after you, reaching out and grabbing your hand. "I am telling the truth let me show you" He spoke as he continued outside your hand still in his.

" I swear Jacob if this is a pra....."

You went dead silent as he began taking his boots, and then his shorts off. Now standing in just his underwear. He gave you a curt nod and then started bending and shaking profusely. You could barely blink before your best friend stood in front of you only he wasn't human anymore, he was a massive wolf.

You jumped back a bit as the wolf started coming towards you, noticing your fear he slowly laid down on the ground and gave out a small whine to signal he would not hurt you. You were in complete shock, how was this possible? Everything you ever heard about the stories of the Quileute tribe growing up was true, and your best friend was living proof. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but they were silenced by the wolf standing up and trotting to the back of the house. Jacob then emerged in different clothes than before.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you Y/N" Jacob expressed, grabbing your hands hesitantly until you leaned into the touch slightly.

"Why couldn't you tell me, you know I would never judge you, nor would I ever tell anyone " You pressed before giving him a confused stare "Wait why are you telling me now?"

He looked at you a gave you a crooked smile.

"It's one of the rules that came with the gig" He laughs a bit before pulling you a bit closer. "The reason I can tell you now is because you are my soulmate," He says beaming down at you.

You stare up at him with a bewildered expression.

"I'm your what?" you say breathing out.

"You are my imprint, Y/N. It's a wolf's soulmate, it is the reason for their existence, you feel like it isn't gravity holding you to the ground anymore, it's them. You can be anything the imprint wants you to be, a friend, a protector, a lover, all that matters is that the two are connected. Like vines on trees overlapping each other both on the same path, interlocked." He pauses, putting his hand on your face and caressing your cheek gently.

"I know this might be overwhelming and a lot to handle. I really want you to know how deeply sorry I am for everything that I said. I'm not going to sit here and blame it all on the wolf because it wasn't, I was jealous. I was jealous that you went on that date with someone that wasn't me and I didn't mean a word that I said about you. I'm going to be fully honest with you from now on, starting with the fact that I have been in love with you since the second grade. I know that trusting me will take time, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn it back. I understand that I have hurt you, so it might take a very long time but I will always be there for you. Everything is up to you, I understand if you want to reject the connection. The connection can be anything you want it to be, but I really truly do not want to lose you and the past two weeks without you have been hell on earth for me. I'm just really sorry Y/N." He pleads letting go of your hands and allowing you to process.

"I... I love you too Jacob. I have for a while now. I'm not going to forgive you easily but I am glad you understand how much you have hurt me. I am willing to give this a shot, mainly because I can feel the connection and would be an idiot if I said that I didn't." You laugh a bit as he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face.

"But if you ever say or do that to me again I will put you in a dog house and leave you there," You say with an evil smile laughing at the way his face drops before he joins in.

You two get out of the rain and drive separately to Emily's house where you meet the pack and they explain in much more detail what being a wolf really entails. You and Emily become quick friends, and as the days go on you slowly fall into a routine that is pure chaos but you wouldn't have it any other way. You and Jacob work on your relationship, slowly building back trust and falling deeper and deeper into love with each other. You have fully accepted your place in a world filled with wolves and life seems to be going great, that is until they tell you exactly why they turn into the big ferocious beasts....... there are vampires in Forks.

[tozettastone]

Deidara thinks Kakuzu isn’t hot, but he takes one look at that flexed bicep one day and immediately is sent reeling

That's it. You understand exactly. It's not about how Kakuzu looks.

I got at least this far into my draft:

---

"You have definitely never had sex with a man before," Kakuzu responded flatly. How did he always look so unimpressed with Deidara specifically?

"No!" barked Deidara, scandalised. "Of course not!" Then, he hesitated. He felt curiously defensive about it, and crossed his arms over his chest protectively. "I'm... I'm focused on my art, yeah. Why would I want to waste time with that?"

There was a short, unfriendly pause.

"So you should be flattered!" he hastened to add. "Isn't it a compliment, from someone like me?"

Kakuzu's expression was, as always, impossible to read beneath his mask. His eyes scowled, but then, his eyes always scowled. "You're an idiot. I was a foolish choice."

Deidara very nearly got the opportunity to demand to know what the hell that was meant to mean, but then Kakuzu just reached out and clasped one big hand on the bare back of his neck.

Deidara went still.

The grip on his neck wasn't painful, but it was heavy and warm and felt... interesting. Sensitive. He blinked rapidly, not quite sure how he felt about it. His body certainly had ideas, which resulted in a mishmash of disjointed thoughts that rushed through his head: He's so big, were his hands always this big? Was my neck always so sensitive? and That's so possessive, and, least coherent of all, an unreasonably sexy thought that took him out at the knees, is he just going to push me face-down on the desk?

But his body and his brain weren't always on the same side — the nervous craving in his guts never wondered about what things meant, or what other people might think.

"I suppose it's a compliment... in a way." Kakuzu sounded more cynical and ironic than appreciative, but at least he admitted it. How often did beautiful young artists throw themselves at a guy like Kakuzu? Come on.

"Right, so you should be —"

"Don't push it."

Kakuzu squeezed gently.

Deidara's brain stuttered and so did his breath.

"—should be... um..."

Kakuzu hummed in response, like he'd finally said something of interest. Then he used the pressure to propel Deidara down the corridor and towards Kakuzu's own room.

Deidara followed the press of that hand half in a daze. His heart was already racing. It was possible Kakuzu could even feel it, thumping away through his skin.

[misc-obeyme]

Heya, CC - hope you're doing well!

First time submitting off anon but I noticed you didn't have a Flufftober promt yet for Lucifer so I'm hoping to throw my hat in the ring

I sort of hc that MC carries around eyedrops for when Lucifer overworks himself and his eyes start to hurt😅

Idk, nothing too crazy but I think he'd appreciate the little things <3

Looking forward to your uploads regardless! ^.^

Hello there, my friend! It looks like you were still on anon when you sent this, so feel free to reveal yourself if you'd like! But no pressure, you are welcome to stay anon, too. :)

Now listen, this is exactly the kind of thing that would matter so much to Lucifer.

And since this is Flufftober, well... I definitely fluffed it up lol. I sometimes get a little cheesy when writing fluff, but I also feel like that's just the nature of fluff, you know?

Thank you for submitting a prompt!

FLUFFTOBER 2023

GN!MC x Lucifer

Warnings: none!

Lucifer was an important demon. He had a lot of others depending on him, a lot of work he had to do every day, so many demands on his time. It required all of his energy to keep on top of everything and yet he managed to do it. And he made it look easy.

To everyone else, Lucifer was the one they could always turn to for help. He could take care of anything. The responsibilities he shouldered were heavy things that he carried every day and he never faltered.

And then you showed up. You became another person for him to take care of and at first he only did it because Diavolo wanted him to. But as time passed, he had to admit to himself that he enjoyed your company. There was something about your very presence that made all of his burdens seem lighter.

For a while, Lucifer just allowed this reality to exist within him. His pride let him tell you directly that he liked when you were beside him, but his pride also prevented him from telling you why.

Lucifer noticed right away when you started doing things that perhaps would mean very little to someone else. You would do something as simple as asking him if he had eaten yet or when the last time he stood up from his desk was. Things nobody else would think to ask because they would just assume that Lucifer was on top of it the way he was with everything else.

But every time you checked in like that, every time you brought him coffee without him needing to ask, every time you simply showed up to sit in his office with him, every time you did some insignificant thing to lighten his load, Lucifer fell for you just a little bit more. He didn't even realize it was happening.

It was a late night and Lucifer still had piles of paperwork to get through. He would never say it out loud, but he was fairly certain that this was some leftover torture method that the Devildom never quite phased out. He was hunched over his desk, fully consumed in the work before him, determined to get through the current pile before the night was over.

You were sitting across from him, quietly reading a book. You often sat up with him, even if every half hour he tried to get you to go to bed. You would just smile at him and say that you weren't tired.

And Lucifer let it go for another half hour. He let it go because he wanted you there.

When he finally finished the last page of the pile he was working on, Lucifer sat up straight, leaned back in his chair, and sighed heavily.

You looked up from your book. "You're finally done!"

Lucifer smiled at you, but it was a weak, tired smile. "I only succeeded because you were here with me, MC."

You rolled your eyes. "Oh sure, Mr. Why-Don't-You-Go-To-Bed-Now."

Lucifer chuckled. He put down his pen and rubbed at his eyes, fingers pressing into them as they burned.

He didn't see you standing up from your chair, but he opened his eyes when he heard you put your book down on his desk. He watched as you pulled a small bottle of eye drops from your pocket and handed it over to him.

Lucifer took the bottle and looked at it with a baffled expression before looking back at you.

"You're rubbing your eyes again," you said, as if it was obvious. "So use some eye drops."

Lucifer frowned. "Do you have problems with your eyes, MC?"

Now it was your turn to look confused. "What? You're the one whose eyes are hurting, not me."

"But you carry these drops in your pocket," Lucifer said. "You must need them if you keep them on your person all the time."

You blinked for a moment, then smiled a little sheepishly. "Oh. Well. I started carrying them for you. This isn't exactly the first time I've seen you rubbing your eyes like that."

Something thudded in Lucifer's heart. Something he didn't know about until that very moment. Something that had been working so hard and taking care of so much that it had forgotten the feeling of someone else taking care of him.

It was so small. Such a little thing. And yet, for Lucifer Morningstar, it was everything.

He put the bottle down on the desk. He would use them in a minute. Right then, he cared far more about coming around his desk to hold you.

You seemed a little surprised when he put his arms around you without speaking. But after a moment, you pressed your face into him, as though his embrace was the one place where you belonged.

The way you so effortlessly made his life better with every little thing you did indicated to Lucifer that it was indeed where you belonged. Right there, beside his heart.

flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 26 ⤍ just chatting

you were in the middle of a laid-back "just chatting" stream when a notification popped up from yujin. she'd sent a link, asking you to check out a new video she'd posted. without thinking twice, you clicked on it—after all, it was yujin. but as soon as the video loaded, your eyes widened in disbelief.

"what is this video?!" you practically yelled, staring at the screen. there, in your room, were rei, liz, and yujin, holding up your belongings like they were running a live auction. the camera zoomed in on yujin, who was barely holding in her laughter while pretending to sell your stuff.

you leaned in closer, muttering in shock, "there is actually no way you're selling my shit."

"y/n has kindly offered to give away some of her items," rei's voice chimed in from the video.

"kindly offered my ass! they're lying," you shot back immediately, rolling your eyes at the absurd claim.

the video jumped to a clip of a phone call they'd recorded, and your voice echoed out from the speakers.

"y/n, can i get some stuff from your room while you're out?" yujin's voice played through your headphones.

"umm, yeah, definitely," past you replied, sounding totally distracted.

you immediately remembered why. kazuha had been right in front of you, casually stretching and completely taking your attention away.

with a sheepish grin, you turned to your stream and sighed. "kazuha was seducing me then. i wasn't in my right mind when i agreed to that," you tried to explain making the chat instantly blow up.

user1 oh?

user2 is there something u need to tell us

user3 kazuha?!

you realized what you said too late but you tried to shift focus back to the video, which was now over. you leaned back, still processing everything. "that video was so bad," you groaned.

"can we please get a mass report going? that would be great," you said, finally closing out of the video.

"i expected this from yujin and rei, but liz?" you said, sitting there in disbelief for a few seconds.

_yujin_an leeseo recorded

your eyes widened. "my niece?!" you exclaimed. "i actually can't trust anybody in this house." you shook your head.

"i leave for a couple of days and basically get robbed," you sighed dramatically, shaking your head.

liz.yeyo y/n u left us FOR DAYS

_yujin_an honestly, ur fault

reiinyourheart skill issue

liz.yeyo i was abandoned!

"it was only two and a half days," you waved it off dismissively.

for_everyoung10 didn't even tell us u were leaving 🙂‍↔️

eeseooes exactly!^

"in my defense, i didn't wanna wake anybody up," you said, your voice light as you tried to justify yourself. "it was late, so i just left and forgot to text y'all."

for_everyoung10 left us for a girl!

"i was hanging out with yunjin; kazuha just happened to be there," you shrugged.

jenaissante i nvr saw her again after the first night ☝🏼

for_everyoung10 le gasp

"yunjin, don't lie... you saw me at breakfast every day, and we hung out on my second day in the living room," you pointed out.

jenaissante we hung out in the living room. you and kazuha left at some point; don't rly know what happened after that.

"okay, i can't really defend myself there," you admitted.

for_everyoung10 😮🫢

user3 y/n in her taken era!

user4 okayy kazuha and y/n!

user5 everybody came in here to expose y/n!

"really can't trust anybody these days," you remarked, shaking your head.

user6 y/n's biggest opps are her roommates!

"so true. i should move out soon," you joked.

user7 is this how u announce ur moving in with kazuha?

"okay, now nobody said all of that," you replied, "i can't move out till our lease is up."

reiinyourheart pls pay ur part of the rent then!

"i already paid that; leave me alone," you shot back.

reiinyourheart lies... we're waiting on y/n still!

"i didn't appreciate rei defaming my character like this. i'm suing her for defamation once again," you declared dramatically.

user6 again?

user7 u must be new here @/user6

"anyways, i'm about to block all of my roommates from my stream and maybe yunjin too," you said, trying to regain control of the chaos.

jenaissante i did nothing!

"you were an accomplice," you replied, pointing an accusing finger.

for_everyoung10 even me?

"you'd get unblocked the fastest, but yes," you teased.

fallingin__fall what about me 🥺?

"okay, everybody but gaeul," you decided, shaking your head.

_yujin_an WE GATHER IN GAEUL'S ROOM

reiinyourheart Y/N WATCH PARTY

"do whatever you want," you sighed, rolling your eyes at their antics.

"anyways, changing the topic... kazuha and i were thinking about playing games together this weekend, and we need suggestions," you announced.

user8 HORROR!

"why don't y'all want a cute game like it takes two or unravel?" you asked, genuinely puzzled.

user9 fuck that give us scary game!

user0 zuhaxyn is trending rn!

"as we should, best couple!" you proclaimed, unable to stop the smile from coming upon your face.

hhh.e_c.v so u admit it?

"i've been saying we're a couple for months; this is nothing new," you stated.

_chaechae_1 ZUHAXYN CONFIRMED

"okay, don't trend that one; kazuha's gonna be so confused when she gets out of her shoot," you laughed, shaking your head at the thought. even though you both had talked about your feelings, the specifics of what that meant for your relationship were left unspoken. it was more like a mutual understanding that you liked each other but hadn't really talked about what was happening next.

honestly, you'd been stressing about it the whole time you were over there, but you were too scared to bring it up. and now that you were back home you didn't have time to talk with anybody about your current situation.

now, you were worried kazuha might think you were confirming a relationship she didn't even know she was in. but you'd deal with that later; for now, you had a stream to continue.

"okay, but hear me out—we play portal 2," you suggested.

user1 no, horror!

user2 listen to the people!

"i don't know why y'all think this is a democracy; i have the final say here," you replied, smirking.

user3 i bet kazuha would also suggest horror.

"she probably would, but her opinion doesn't matter right now," you shot back with a playful roll of your eyes.

user4 we would watch anything you two do together!

"see? we need more wholesome people like this in the chat!" you laughed.

zuhazana but horror...

"leave," you said, pointing dramatically to your door, trying to keep a straight face.

zuhazana but i just got here :'(

"you know what? it's fine. i'll just block the words 'horror' and 'scary' from my chat," you declared.

user6 play games that make you jump out of your seat!

"of course y'all would do that," you sighed, shaking your head.

zuhazana but i'll be there to protect you!

"no, you won't! you'll be just as scared as i am," you retorted.

zuhazana you're right, but plssss...

zuhazana it'll be fun!

you sighed, finally convinced. "can we put a time limit on it, then?"

zuhazana I DID IT

zuhazana I CONVINCED HER

"i'll play for a max of two hours, and if it goes longer, i'm dipping," you said, half-joking, but knowing kazuha would probably convince you to stay somehow.

after confirming the plans, you spent some more time chatting with your viewers. eventually, you wrapped up the stream, doing your usual outro and waving goodbye to your chat

later in the day, you were in the kitchen looking for a late-night snack when you came across some ice cream with yujin's name on it. usually, you wouldn't touch any of her stuff, but considering she tried to sell off your things earlier, you felt it was fair. plus she wasn't even home right now.

as you were finishing your—well, yujin's—ice cream, you walked into wonyoung's room, where she was currently streaming.

"hi, wife!" you greeted, still munching on yujin's ice cream.

"heey, wife!" wonyoung replied, flashing you a bright smile as she moved over to make room for you on camera.

"you want some?" you asked, holding out the spoon. wonyoung nodded eagerly, and you fed her a bite.

_yujin_an is that mine?

_yujin_an i just wanted to watch my gf while i'm on break and i see this shit!

"stealing your ice cream and your girl," you joked, wrapping an arm around wonyoung, who leaned into you with a playful grin.

_yujin_an wowwww

_yujin_an y/n, when i catch u…

“this is what happens when you leave her alone,” you said, chuckling as wonyoung just laughed at the situation.

_yujin_an it’s on sight when i get back!

“leave me and mine alone!” wonyoung declared, hugging you tighter, a smirk playing on her lips.

_yujin_an the betrayal! _yujin_an after everything we’ve been through (shake head) _yujin_an can’t trust nobody!

“i’m just better,” you shrugged.

_yujin_an i’ll see both of y’all when i get home!

“are we fighting for wonyoung or about the ice cream?” you asked.

_yujin_an both!

“welp, it’s finished,” you said, taking the last bite of the ice cream with a satisfied smile.

_yujin_an u mf!

“this seems like a perfect time to leave,” you declared dramatically. “i will be locking my door tonight. goodbye, wonyoung’s stream!” you waved before stepping out of wonyoung's room.

you headed back to the kitchen, tossing the empty ice cream container into the trash and rinsing the spoon in the sink, before heading back to your room and flopping down on your bed.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[jisuto]

Answered all the asks here:

thanks so much I appreciate it!! it's always nice seeing compliments like this, to be acknowledged and get recognition <33

yeah it sucks when you just want people to have decency and not go around stealing :// but I definitely won't delete everything

ikr and YEAH that anon is crazy writing that all up and thinking it somehow makes sense. thanks and I was thinking about trying out Bluesky but looks like they only allow Tenor gifs so we'll see. and same not only for us gifmakers but I see it often with fanartists too, I don't get how someone can act so out of line and attack them for no good reason

aww tysm and right, it doesn't cost anything to be nice and not be a jerk. yeah I practically fell into a coma since I stayed up playing smt3 LOL

yep typical anon hate that doesn't make an iota of sense but it's easy to block. EXACTLY like everyone does not want to have anything stolen this isn't a hard concept to understand?? I want my stolen gif removed but that anon completely twist it into NOT TRANSFORMATIVE lol can't argue at all and grasping at straws. yeah just bc it has no monetary value doesn't mean there wasn't any effort or time put into it, so many free pieces of media are still precious. I'm doing much better now thanks <3

it's not my first rodeo dealing with people like this but I know I'm in the right. yeah it's always so tiring to deal with idiots however I feel better now and thank you for the kind words!! I know and some people spend like 4 hours to make a single gif, it doesn't take a few minutes to run it through an online converter that's not even half as good. yeah that's the usual argument against them of "it's easy to make so why do you have to steal it if you can do it yourself just as easily?" like it's the only dumb defense thieves have that still doesn't make sense lol just take accountability for once in your life. it's a shame a lot of those blogs are purely built on stolen work

omg a fantranslator I always adore you guys TRULY unsung heroes, thanks for your hard work and sorry that happens to you as well ;w; translating isn't easy either and thank you, the recognition means a lot to be noticed. yeah there's a reason why watermarks are used and it's extra scummy to erase proof who created it. I like your honest input and yeah I love making gifs but it always annoying to see this happen. happy to hear that and thanks so much ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)

yeah absolutely insane someone typed that up and sent it, truly can't understand or have any basic decency. it's not hard to press that button but NOPE GOTTA GO REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND REUPLOAD IT INSTEAD

exactly and they think they're somehow in the right, they're not a clown but the entire circus

hey it definitely means a lot to me when I see praise for my work no matter what!! thanks so much and I'll do my best

yeah that's why all my recent gifs now have a new watermark to prevent them cropping it out or like half of it gets chopped off. leeches will always be around so I had to do that change. thank you a lot, it's very uplifting to hear that!! it's just really frustrating when this happens and Tumblr changed their policy so it's extra annoying to deal with. there was a few instances here where I sent messages (very similar to that in the reblog) to people to remove my gifs they edited and they ALL did plus were polite about it. most people are fine but the handful who do are a real nuisance and really makes it worse. but I'll do my best to be optimistic.

REALLY NO WAY LOL THE SELF-AWARENESS LMAOOOO how petty and thanks for sticking up for me <33 yeah it's unfortunate but I won't let it dwell on me too long

yeah for someone thinking it's nothing to be concerned about and then proceeds to have a meltdown like that hmmm and yeah that's pretty standard for people like that, having any basic sense and not being a idiot is apparently asking too much. thanks for the reassurance and kind words!

I looked at the form but I think I'll email support first to see if they can just remove the repost and if not, I'll see if I can submit that instead then and thanks!

oh it's fine, I can still block anon asks and they can't send more without actually using their own blog, which is fine since they can't hide behind anon anymore. tysm and yep, they have no ground to stand on with such trash takes like that

same I'm not sure how anyone can think I'm somehow in the wrong LOL and I'm flattered thank you so much <33 I really do my best to play it from start to finish and have extra save files in between so I can go back to redo anything or choose something different. exactly and awwwww thanks I'm glad <33

tbh based on their response to an earlier ask, I think it will just waste my time trying to do that. I'm just going to contact support and see if they can delete it instead. I really don't think they'll learn their lesson and showed no guilt for their actions. Earlier I skimmed through and yeah.... looks like it's just full of reposted stolen content

OMG SAME YOU'RE RIGHT I CAN TOTALLY SEE THAT?? have you seen that news story of some AI "artist" getting mad that people were stealing his wOrK and filed a lawsuit ACTUAL WILD WEST SHENANIGANS RIGHT THERE

...... I'm not surprised, but I'm also very surprised wtf the rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper yeah there's nothing to salvage from this jfc

hey thanks a bunch and I gotta preserve those classics while knocking those ancient childhood memories back into you guys <3

and that's it! thanks for all the lovely people sending these in and I'm genuinely amazed to see such huge support, I am really glad and more at ease. once again, thank you everyone <3

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter four: all i need

authors note: ...guess who finally came out of retirement ! the spark ( sort of ) has come back and i was finally able to finish this chapter. a loooong time coming. i'm happy to finally get something out, but i'm a bit bummed by this chapter because i don't think it's my best - however, i'm already working on chapter five and i'm very happy with it so far so... get ready for that :) another chapter in naomi's pov, and it's a doozy so hopefully that makes up for the time away ! as always please enjoy and feedback is appreciated !

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 10.2k

cw: ~kissing~, angst, suggestive content, feelings definitely being realized, alcohol, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Naomi tries to go on like nothing happened that night on FaceTime. She kept her feelings and whatever she realized tucked deeply inside of her, putting on her best smile when the boys came home. They ended up not getting matching tattoos this time around. Whenever Nicholas wasn’t tattooing, and when Noah wasn’t doing something for the band, all three of them spent as much time together as they could.

It slipped their minds, which she was grateful for, because it made her focus on other things and not… that. It was pretty easy to forget about for the most part, just being happy that they were home for the first time in months. It felt like they had been gone longer than three months, and the weight that had been on her shoulders was lifted the very moment they stepped foot into Richmond.

That feeling, the realization, didn’t come back until the first night alone in her apartment. Noah had left two weeks ago, and Nicholas had left earlier that morning, and she felt… empty. Like something was missing – someone was missing. Her feelings consumed her then, so much so that she felt like she couldn’t breathe, eyes prickling with tears because how the hell did she get herself into this?

She feels guilty, keeping this from them but also knowing that she can never say anything. How the hell do you tell your boyfriend that you’re in love with him and your guys’ best friend? This isn’t some fairytale where every ending is a happy one, this is the real world, and the real world always has its consequences.

A part of her is glad that the boys have been busy the last week and a half, their talks being limited to maybe an hour every few days, and texts sent at the most random times. It's given her time to sit with herself and think, and then eventually bring in reinforcements. Someone she's known longer than Noah and Nicholas, someone who she can trust without a second thought. 

"Jesus, Mimi." Analise breathes out, and Naomi can already see the crease in her forehead. She sighs.

"I know."

There's a silence that follows that makes her feel uneasy. Analise has always been able to tell her how it is, never having trouble voicing her opinions and calling Naomi out on her shit. This time though... She feels like she's finally stunned the other girl into silence for the first time in her life.

"Does anyone else know?" 

"Lis," Naomi sighs again. "The only other people I'd tell would be Noah and Nicky... and I obviously can't fucking do that."

Analise laughs. "If it weren't for me, you'd go to the grave with this, huh?"

"Oh, for fucking sure." She tries to laugh but it fails, and she lets out another deep, aggravated sigh. She brings her hands up to dig her heels into her eyes, a headache already beginning to start at the back of her head. "What the hell do I do, Lissy?"

A beat passes. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Well, I didn't invite you over just to bullshit me."

"Girl, I have never bullshitted you once throughout our entire friendship."

"Exactly, and that's why I go to you for these types of things. You always tell me how it is." 

"And I always will.” Analise says matter of factly before her words are followed by a sigh. Naomi can see that fucking crease again. "Anyone under the fucking sun can see how much love you have for Noah. I don't think I've ever seen you love someone so hard before."

"I don't think I've ever loved someone like I do him." Naomi replies easily, without much thought. She knew it was true.

"Right," Analise starts before narrowing her gaze at Mimi, her full lips tugging down ever so slightly. "However, I'm not dumb."

Mimi raises a brow. "Huh?"

"Listen," Analise leans back against the couch, holding her hands up almost defensively. "I'm not sure if anything ever happened between you and Nick before you got with Noah, but I wouldn't be surprised. Your chemistry with each other is insane." Her gaze softens now. "And I can tell you care about him a lot, more than a friend should. I think you always have."

Naomi's cheeks flush at Analise's words and she bites down on her bottom lip, chewing on it nervously. Was it so obvious? She didn't think so, but Analise has never lied to her. Not once. 

"...What if I told you something almost happened?" 

"I'd call you a bitch - lovingly - for not telling me sooner," Analise says without hesitation. "And then I'd ask for you to elaborate on what you mean by almost."

"Almost as in," She drags her words, pulling her legs up onto the couch, "When he tattooed me for the first time, we were talking, and got pretty close. I wanted to kiss him and... and I think he wanted to kiss me, but then we didn't. He mentioned Noah and it kinda... ruined the moment."

Analise stares at her for a beat longer than needed before speaking up, "Did it ruin the moment because you knew that you liked Noah at the time, or did you think there was something going on between Noah and Nick?"

Naomi's eyes widen and Analise waves her off, scoffing softly.

"Girl. Don't give me that look. You know it's true." The girl sighs, as if this is the most taxing thing she's ever had to deal with and leans forward. "I've seen the way Nicholas looks at you… and the way he looks at Noah.” Analise gives her a smile, full lips stretched into a smile. "He's got it bad for the both of you."

"You're just making that up."

"I'm not making shit up. You," Analise points a finger at her and Mimi scoffs, turning her head the other way, "are just in denial at the fact Nicholas is in love with the both of you.”

"No, I'm not."

"Okay. Look me in the eyes and tell me you had no fucking idea Nicholas looks at both you and Noah like you two hung up the fucking stars."

Naomi's mouth opens to argue because that's just ridiculous, he doesn't do that, but nothing comes out. Not even a noise. Her brain then starts to finally catch up and thoughts of Nicholas invade her mind. Her throat tightens, skin heating up and feeling almost clammy, as the realization finally dawns on her. It's as if she's finally waking up after years of sleep, like she's opened her eyes and finally saw what was right in front of her the entire fucking time. 

Nicholas wasn't just in love with her, or with Noah... it was the both of them. 

"Oh my god." Was all she was able to get out, brown eyes widening as she finally looked back at Analise. 

Her friend's face softened, lips pressing together to try and suppress her own frown. "It's so obvious, Mimi."

"Yeah, I fucking know that now." She groans, leaning her elbows against the tops of her thighs, hands rubbing along her face. "Oh my god."

The tightening in her throat doesn't let up and there's a burning feeling behind her eyes, the tears threatening to push through. Her heart pounds against her chest, ringing through her ears. How did she not notice? 

The way he reacted to them being together, the way he's been acting ever since... It all makes fucking sense. She - they - are the reason behind Nicholas' continued sadness, the reason why he's been pulling away these last few months. The reason why he needed to suck it up and get over it. Her stomach turns in a way she fucking hates, the nausea coming back as it settles somewhere deep inside the pit of her stomach. 

How did she not fucking notice?

With tears stinging at her eyes, she finally looks up to find Analise staring at her, expression pained.

"What do I do?" She breathes out. 

"Well... what do you think you should do?" 

"I..." With a frustrated sigh she slumps her body back against the couch, hands coming up to rub at her face as the first tears fell. "I don't know."

She probably sounded pitiful, because that's exactly how she felt. What could she even do? It's not like she could call up Nicholas right now and tell him how she felt, how she knew, because there's a whole other person involved. She whines pathetically at the thought of her boyfriend. Yeah, maybe she and Nicholas had feelings for one another and Noah, but what about him?

She feels the couch beside her dip and her stomach turns at the thought of Noah. How would he feel about all of this? There's no telling how he'd react, finding out she was in love with their best friend and him, and said best friend was also in love with her and him. Does he even feel the same?

Her head pounds, a headache coming on immediately, and she curls herself into her friend's arms as she finally lets more tears fall.

"You need to tell them."

Analise's voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she shudders, head shaking against the girl's shoulder.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can." Analise pulls her back, hands coming up to cup her face to force Naomi to stare at her. "You need to tell them, Mimi."

She knows she should. She fucking knows that she should tell both Noah and Nicholas right now that she loves them so much that it makes her sick, makes her stomach twist and turn at the thought of ever being without either of them. A life without the two of them is a life she never wants to endure and... and she thinks that is what's stopping her. She would never be able to live with herself if this is what breaks them, if this is what pushes Noah from them.

She shakes her head in Analise's hold, "No. I can't."

Analise's hands drop from her face, lips pursed. "You're sostubborn sometimes, I can't stand it."

"You don't understand." She wipes at her face to rid herself of the tears that seem to still fall, tucking a few loose curls behind her ears. "This isn't me being stubborn, this is... I can't lose them. Sure, what if me and Nicholas feel the same? What about Noah? There's no telling how he even feels, if he'd even be okay with this." Naomi doesn't miss the way her voice wavers and she feels her bottom lip tremble, a fresh set of tears falling. "Lis, you know I can't fucking lose him."

"I know. I know, okay?" Analise gathers her in her arms again and she falls into it gratefully, face pressing against her shoulder. "I've never dealt with something like this, so I'm sure it's scary, right? The not knowing." Naomi feels her friend smooth down her hair, hugging her closer as she sighed out, "But I still think you need to tell them eventually. They deserve to know - especially Nick. I can't even imagine how he feels."

That makes Naomi's heart break in a whole new way, the realization of Nicholas having to deal with this on his own. Having to watch the two people he loves be together right in front of him and having to keep the way he feels hidden to keep things as normal as possible... because she knows he'd rather hurt himself by keeping them close than losing them for good. She chokes out a sob and Analise holds her closer, hands rubbing up and down her back to soothe her. 

"I can't." She rasps out after a few minutes, calming down slightly but the tears still burning her eyes. She pulls back to look at Analise, head shaking. "At least not yet. I just - I can't."

Analise stares at her, hard, lips pressing together before sighing in defeat. A weight on Naomi's shoulders lifts, knowing that her friend won't press her anymore on this. She pulls away, hands sliding from Naomi's back to her arms, rubbing them soothingly.

"God, you’re so... fucking stubborn and really annoying sometimes," Analise grumbles, but there's no malice in her voice, "but I'm also going to be here for you every step of the way. Even if I'm not happy about it."

For some reason this makes Naomi laugh, a bit wet and rough, but she feels more at ease. Her shoulders finally relax.

"Thank you." She mumbles, reaching up to wipe at her face, and she sucks in a deep breath. "I just need to think about it, okay? I know it's not fair to Nicky, I know, but I can't..." Her voice trails off, that same heavy weight against her chest returning. "I don't know how to fucking do it, so I need to weigh out my options, you know?"

"I know." Analise's voice is so soft, so gentle, and Naomi has to try and will away the remaining tears that threaten to fall. "I'm here, okay? I'm on your side. Don't forget that."

Naomi doesn't respond, instead gives her friend a tight smile before leaning back into her embrace. She sucks in another deep breath and buries her face against Analise's shoulder, letting her eyes slip shut.

How did everything get so complicated?

...

"Hey," She tries to keep her voice even, lips pressing together to suppress her smile. "What're you doing on the 17th?"

Noah caught her gaze through the screen, brows furrowing at her question. "Uh... probably practicing. Why?"

"Oh, nothing." She averts her gaze from the screen as her shoulders go up into a nonchalant shrug, the struggle to keep the smile off her face growing harder each second. "Just wanted to know if you were free and wanted to pick me up from the airport at… eight that night."

She looks back at Noah now, full lips pulled into a grin, and he blinks. Naomi can see the wheels in his head slowly turning, trying to catch up to what she just said to him. He blinks again, face scrunching in confusion before it falls to one in disbelief, eyes widening.

“What the fuck.”

Mimi laughs, letting her head fall back against the couch, and Noah says it again, louder this time.

“What the fuck.” She lifts her head to look at the screen again, seeing a wide smile spreading across his lips. “You’re not fucking with me, right? You’re serious?”

“As can be.” She hums sending him a gentle smile through the screen. “I’ve had the tickets for a while, I wanted to surprise you at the apartment but forgot how expensive Ubers are, so I kind of need you to pick me up.”

“I will. I’d never make you pay for that.” She swears his smile gets nugget, laughter slipping from him. “How long will you be here?”

“Just a week.” Her lips dip downward from the smile she once wore, sighing quietly. “I’m trying not to use too much time, but I really wanted to see you guys and be there for the album release. This is huge. I couldn’t miss it.”

She notices the twitch in his lips, the slight drop at the mention of only being there for a week, but he covers it up quickly.

"That's fine. I wouldn't even care if it were just a day," He murmurs, eyes softening. "Just as long as I get to see you."

It's crazy what he does to her, her stomach fluttering so much she truly believes there's butterflies roaming around in there. Her cheeks heat up and her frown turns back into a sheepish smile.

"Yeah?"

"Of course. I miss you."

"I miss you, too." 

"And so does Nick. Fuck, can I tell him? He's going to be so excited."

Naomi's heart drops at the mention of Nicholas' name and she has to swallow down the rush of feelings that come to her instantly.

"Yeah, you can tell him. I was gonna text him after I got off the phone with you." She says quietly, bringing her hand up to her mouth to chew at her thumb. 

Noah's lips twitch up into a smile and he hums in response, "It's going to be so nice having you here... fuck, Nick's seriously going to be so excited. He mentioned the other day that he missed you."

Oh. Her tummy does that thing again where it's flipping and turning in every which way, and she knows her cheeks are heating up. She swallows thickly, throat drying up, but she does her best to smile back at Noah.

"Did he?"

"Yeah." 

There's a short pause before Noah's changing the subject, obviously oblivious to Naomi's reactions. She nods along to whatever he says, trying to focus on her boyfriend and not the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, her brain screaming at her every chance it could. 

She was going to have to tell them sooner rather than later.

Her eyes narrowed as she scanned the crowd around her, slight irritation bubbling inside of her. It was literally eight o'clock at night, a Wednesday night. Why the hell were there so many people? She huffs to herself as she continues to look for a familiar face, and her breath hitches once she finds Noah standing only a few feet away. He hadn't seen her yet, and she suspects he's wearing the same irritated expression that she is, eyes narrowed, and hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked through the sea of people.

Relief washes over his face when he finally spots her and her feet start moving before she even thinks about it, a smile spreading across her lips when he waves her over.

"Fucking finally." He groans out, barely giving her time to reply before he scoops her into his arms. "Felt like I was standing here forever."

She all but melts in his hold, the irritation she had been feeling just seconds before leaving her the moment Noah wrapped her up in his arms. This is what she was missing. The feeling of comfort she had so desperately been yearning for. Naomi sighs as she buries her face against his chest, fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. She feels his lips brush against the side of her temple, and she can feel the smile spreading across his features.

"That flight felt like it was fucking forever." Naomi grumbles, the memory of the crying baby a few seats behind her filling her mind. "Didn't think I was gonna make it."

"Thank fuck you did." Noah chuckles as she pulls back but keeps her arms around him. Their eyes lock and his smile grows, leaning down to press their foreheads together. "Missed you."

"Missed you." She whispers, eyes fluttering shut. 

They stay like that for a beat before Noah's pulling back, looking around them as if he was waiting for someone else.

"Nicky should be on his way back..." Noah's voice trails off and Naomi's skin crawls at the mention of the other, stomach dropping. "Ah! There he is."

Her body turns as she follows Noah's gaze and in between the crowds of people emerges Nicholas, a wide grin stretching across his lips as their eyes meet. Her breath hitches in her throat, similar to how it had when she saw Noah, and her heart pounds against her chest. She stood still as Nicholas finally reached them, arms being thrown around her and her face pressing into his chest.

"There's our girl."

She sputters, the sound being muffled by Nicholas' shirt as he holds her closer, lips brushing against the side of her head.

Our girl.

In a perfect world that was true, she was theirs. She always had been, even when they were just friends. She feels her eyes burn. Knowing what she did now, how she felt for the both of them, what Nicholas felt... She squeezes her eyes shut and lets her arms wrap around his middle, hugging him tightly. She can hear Analise yelling at her in the back of her mind, chanting Tell them! Tell them! Tell them! but she can't. Not now, at least. Not right before the biggest day of their entire lives. 

The burning behind her eyes doesn't stop especially when she feels Noah behind her, pressing into her as his arms slip around her and Nicholas, joining the embrace. It feels so right to be wrapped up between the two of them, having just the two of them pick her up from the airport. It makes so much sense, and she lets her mind wander back to that perfect world where this is the norm. Where they meet her here and pick her up, exchanging hugs, I love you, I missed you, and then heading off their home. 

God. Naomi loves them so much that it physically hurts at this point.

Nicholas is the first to pull away, but Noah's still attached to her back, chin now resting against her shoulder.

"You're probably tired." Nicholas hums, eyes scanning over her face. She blinks away the tears, thankful none fall, but knows that he noticed the red rimming around her eyes. His brows furrow. "Everything alright?"

She nods, leaning back against Noah's chest. "Yeah. Just missed you guys."

His face softens and she feels Noah's arms squeeze around her gently.

"We missed you, too," Noah hums in response before finally untangling himself from her but leaves an arm around her shoulder. Nicholas reaches for her suitcase. "Nick’s right, you probably are tired and ready to get home.”

Home.

A lump rises into the base of her throat and she blinks away that burning feeling in her eyes, and leaned into Noah’s side, trying to relax in his embrace. She flicked her eyes towards Nicholas who was already looking at her, eyes narrowed slightly, but lips tugged into a small smile. He knew something was up with her, more than just being tired, but she knew he wouldn't press.

Naomi gives him her own smile, small but a smile nonetheless, and nuzzles herself further into Noah's side.

“I should’ve picked an earlier flight.” She says, a yawn soon following after. She was tired, and later flights always leaves her exhausted. It was about eight at night California time, so even later than the East Coast time she was used to. “I‘m exhausted.”

"Well, let’s get you home and into bed, hm?" Noah squeezed her shoulder, and she felt the brush of his lips against the side of her head, eyes fluttering shut at the comforting feeling. 

"Yeah." Her eyes open again to stare at Nicholas beside her and then tilting her head up to stare at Noah, chest aching only slightly, the burn behind her eyes slowly leaving. "Let's go home."

…

There had been a lot more people there than she had anticipated, and as she eyed the crowd from the merch table she was currently guarding, her chest swelled with pride. She had noticed the rise of Bad Omens in these last few months, their follower count growing steadily, online forums talking about them and their upcoming debut release more and more. It was almost fulfilling to see it all finally come to light, years of blood, sweat, and tears finally leading them to this very moment.

Naomi knows how hard they had worked for this - how hard Noah had worked for this. She has to swallow down her pride, willed away the burning tears at her eyes as she watched Noah work the crowd. It had to be exhilarating, she thinks, getting the crowd hyped up, hearing them sing back those very lyrics you spent hours on. She can't even imagine what Noah must be feeling right now. Not even just him, but Nicholas, Folio, and Jolly as well. They all look like they're meant to be up there. 

She’s so fucking proud.

Her focus on the stage was broken by someone coming up to the table, giving her a timid smile as they pointed to a shirt behind her. She shook herself out of her thoughts and smiled gently at them before reaching for the shirt that they had wanted. They looked young, probably around Folio’s age, and she watched as they handed over the cash for the shirt. She's going by memory now, sorting through money to give them their change and she looks up briefly at the stage. 

She freezes, the dollar bills almost slipping from her grasp. Noah had moved from the center of the stage over to the left, where Nicholas had stood, and the sight had something igniting inside Naomi – like there was a fire in the pit of her stomach. Noah moves with a purpose, slinging an arm over Nicholas' shoulder and presses into his side. This shouldn't be doing something for her, because they've always done this, but it's Noah's next move that has her breath hitching ever so slightly.

Noah's twisting Nicholas towards him, leaning forward so their foreheads can press together. She swallows thickly and watches as Noah's hand goes to move to the back of Nicholas' neck, gripping. Nicholas' eyes flutter shut in that exact moment, and she has to press her lips together in hopes for her mouth to not fucking drop open, especially when Noah presses forward again, their noses barely brushing together as he sang into the mic.

Naomi forced her gaze away from the two, heart pounding against her chest and that fiery pit in her stomach not letting up once. She tried to rid herself of those thoughts, lips straining into a smile as she finally handed the change back to the fan who wasn't even phased. They smiled warmly, and if they noticed the slight flush to her cheeks, they didn't comment on it, instead thanking her and walking off. 

She let out a breath she had been holding, eyes gazing back towards the stage and felt the relief flow through her body when she noticed that Noah was on the other side now. Thank God, she thinks, letting out another long breath before helping out another fan. She’s not sure she could handle seeing them that close again.

As their set went on, she lost count of the times her mind drifted back to Noah leaning into Nicholas' space, his hand placed on the back of the other's neck to hold him there as their foreheads pressed together. She pushed it as far back as she could while doing her job for the night, but it was always there, unmoving in a small portion of her mind. They looked good together, faces far too close to not be taken as intimate, eyes shut in almost ecstasy... Naomi shakes her head.

Girl, get a grip, she thinks.

She can't get too lost in that thought, doesn't let herself cling on to the what if? of the situation. She hadn't let herself think of the maybe, the mere possibility of Noah feeling the same for Nicholas. She doesn't have to think twice on how her boyfriend feels for her because she knows - Noah never gave her a reason to think otherwise. It's Noah's feelings for Nicholas that she's confused about. 

They grew up together. Where Nicholas went, Noah seemed to follow, even long after Naomi had come into the picture and became their friend. She thinks back to long nights spent at their apartment, staying up way too late and passing around a bottle of wine as they talked about their dreams, the future. She remembers how Noah was always staring at her, at the time not knowing the look in his eyes was filled with pure adoration. But she also remembers Noah staring at Nicholas, when he thought no one was paying attention. Not as often as he did her, but he still would. With that same look. 

She didn't know it then, but she knows it now, and her stomach turns all the same as it had with Analise a few weeks ago.  

"Holy fucking shit."

Folio's voice breaks her out of her thoughts and Naomi turns away from the box she's working on to face her friend, giving him a wide smile. 

"Dude!" She all but shouts as Folio bounds his way to the merch table, throwing her arms around him. "That was so fucking sick!"

He slips an arm around her waist, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You think?"

"Think?" Naomi pulls back to stare at him, giving him the most ridiculous look. "Did you not see that crowd? You fucking killed it. They all loved it!”

Folio smiles, big and full of pride, and she can't help but wrap her arms around him again, pulling him back into another hug.

"So proud of you." Naomi remembers the very beginnings of this band, and to think back to where they started up to this very moment makes her a little misty eyed. "Only up from here."

Folio's eyes roll playfully when he pulls away. "Please. The album just came out."

"And?" She laughs now, pinching his arm. "Just watch - in a few years everyone's going to know who Bad Omens are."

"...I hope so." He smiles sheepishly now, head dipping down to hide the hint of flush on his cheeks. 

"I hope so too."

Their conversation is cut short when she hears a few loud voices come closer to them, turning her head to spot the rest of the band coming their way. Her stomach drops the second she sees Noah, and she can't help but stare as both he and Nicholas make their way over to the merch table. Memories of them on stage flash through her mind and she has to look away from them, trying to shake whatever thoughts that seemed to float through her mind. She cannot be thinking about that.

But it's so hard, especially with how good they looked together. Noah's hand wrapped around the back of Nicholas' neck; Nicholas' eyes fluttering shut as Noah pressed himself closer... She physically shakes her head this time, trying to will away those thoughts as Noah comes up to her. She tries to do her best to act like a normal human being and not someone who was just thinking about her boyfriend doing God knows what with their best friend.

"So?" Noah's grin is so wide, she's sure his cheeks hurt, and she doesn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him.

"That was fucking amazing!" Naomi all but squeals. "Y'all have always been good but shit... this show was top tier."

Noah pulls away from her just enough for them to lock eyes, his grin falling to something much softer - timider. "You think so?"

She nods, standing slightly on her tiptoes to press her lips to his cheek gently. "Well duh. Of course, I do."

"You're just saying that because you like me." Noah grumbles playfully and she can't help but pinch at his side, laughing when he yelps.

"Oh, shut up." Their eyes meet again, and her gaze softens, arms slipping back around his waist. "You've worked really fucking hard for this and it showed up there tonight. I'm so proud of you."

She smiles up at Noah gently before turning to face Jolly and Nicholas who have finally joined the group, catching their gazes.

"You guys, too. I don't think I've ever been prouder of anyone in my entire life."

Nicholas blushes, face red and looks away from her, mumbling a quiet "Thank you" and busying himself with folding the rest of the shirts she had laying out. Cute, she thinks to herself before she looks at Jolly, who's waving her off.

"Oh, please. Don't go soft on me." But from the faint color on his cheeks as well, she knows he appreciated it. 

"So, what's the plan?" Folio speaks up, looking around the group. "Celebratory drinks?"

"You're not even legal yet, dude." Noah teases, resting his arm around Naomi's shoulder.

"Neither are you?" Her, Nicholas, and Jolly say in unison before breaking out in laughter, especially at the pouty face Noah gives them.

"Almost!"

"Yeah, two months." Nicholas snorts, casting both her and Noah a look before focusing back on the shirts. "But I'm down to drink."

"Me too." Jolly agrees. "Nick, Mimi - you guys get this all packed up. The rest of the crew will get everything else. Sound good?"

She meets Nicholas' eyes and nods, giving him a gentle smile before focusing back on Jolly, throwing him a thumbs up. "Sounds good to me."

"The quicker we finish, the quicker we can get out of here." Noah says happily, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pulling away from her. "Let's get this shit done. I'm ready for a drink." 

The three of them walk over to the rest of the crew, beginning to take down their equipment, leaving her and Nicholas alone. This was the first time she had been alone with him since he had been home weeks ago, and her stomach swirls in excitement as she slips into the space next to him, folding the rest of the shirts scattered across the table.

"You did good tonight." She hummed, bumping her hip into his. 

"Yeah?" He keeps his voice low, and she steals a quick glance at him to see the sides of his mouth quirking up into a smile. She nods. "Thank you. I had fun."

"You looked like you did." The words fall from her mouth without much thought, and immediately the image of him and Noah on stage plague her mind. She clears her throat. "You guys are really getting the hang of this."

"It's gotten easier." He says with a shrug, closing up a box he had finished. "Still weird having people like... come and see us? Like. Singing our songs and shit. It's weird but nice."

"It's amazing, that's what it is." She pauses her actions to lean her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. "I sound like a broken record but I just... I'm so proud of you guys. You've been busting your asses for years and it's finally paying off."

Nicholas reaches for the shirts she had folded, and her eyes watch his movements, watching as he placed them into another empty box. Most of the shirts have been tucked away nicely and the only things left are some CDs and a few vinyl variants, and a few posters she thinks. 

"Thank you for coming and helping out." Their eyes meet again, and she holds in a breath, but doesn't look away. "I was scared shitless for tonight, but it was uh, easier. Knowing you were in the crowd." He reaches up to rub at the back of his neck. "Made it easier for Noah, too."

His words pull at her heart, chest tightening. She made it easier for them. Having her there made the biggest night of their lives easier in some shape or form and she has to blink away the burning in her eyes, lips tugging into a smile.

"I'm glad I was able to make it easier."

They stare at each other for a beat longer than needed and Nicholas' eyes drop, going back to packing up their stuff. 

"Ready to haul this shit out to the van?"

She eyes the filled boxes around them, and then the things that still need to be packed up, and internally groans to herself. She wishes they had at least one more set of hands to help out, but everyone else is handling all the heavy duty that she definitely doesn't want to deal with and nods. 

"As ready as I'll ever be."

And on the back-and-forth trips she and Nicholas make from the venue to the van, she can't shake away the feeling in the back of her mind telling her that it's going to be a long night. 

…

Naomi feels warm all over.

The alcohol courses through her veins as she and Noah throw back their third shot of the night. She makes a face, her chest burning from the contents, and chases the after taste with her mixed drink. Noah laughs from beside her.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad."

She groans and leans into his side, her forehead pressing against his shoulder. "You know how much I hate tequila." 

His arm wraps around her, pulling her closer, and she shivers at the feeling of his fingers dancing along her hip and up under her shirt, rubbing the skin there gently. He dips his head down to brush his lips against her cheek, another laugh escaping him. Another shiver ran through her. She's forgotten just how touchy Noah can get whenever he drinks, and after weeks of not seeing him, she's realizing just how much she's missed his hands against her.

"You're being such a baby."

"Fuck you." She jokes, pulling her head up to look at him. He's already staring at her, eyes glazed over and a dopey grin on his lips. 

"Didn't peg you as an exhibitionist, babe."

Naomi sputters at Noah's words and the grin on his lips only grows, and she shoves at his chest playfully. 

"You're terrible." She grumbles, but there's no heat behind her words, the edges of her lips tugging in a smile as her eyes roll. 

Noah laughs, loud and bright, and she lets that very smile on her lips grow. 

"But you looove me." Noah all but sings, pressing a very over dramatic kiss to her cheek. 

She laughs, half-heartedly shoving at his chest. "Hush."

He pulls back to stare at her, and she almost misses the playful glint in his gaze before his eyes drop to her lips. Her tummy flips and she found herself leaning in, wanting nothing more than to have Noah's lips against hers, but stops midway when she sees movement behind the boy. 

Nicholas slips into the spot next to Noah and Naomi can't help but stare, eyes roaming over his alcohol flushed face. Noah feels him right away, a smile stretching across his lips as he turns to look back at him. Her eyes gaze down to his hand coming to rest on Nicholas' thigh and he drops his head on his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.

"Hi Nicky." 

His tone was sweet and something about it made Naomi’s chest twist. She tries to not think about that right now, not with her hazy, alcohol induced mind, but she can't help but pull her bottom lip in between her teeth at the sight of Noah in between both her and Nicholas. Her mind goes back to Noah’s arm wrapped around Nicholas, against her own will, and remembers him leaning his head against the others as he sang into the microphone. She squirms in her seat.

She isn’t sure why it got her so riled up, but she quite literally couldn’t stop thinking about it. The way Nicholas’ eyes fluttered shut, fingers working along his bass as Noah pressed against him… she has to press her thighs together to try and relieve some of the heat building up inside of her.

With a shake of her head, she reaches forward to brush some of Noah's hair from his face and she doesn't miss the way Nicholas' tenses at Noah's affection, a strained smile forming on his lips.

"Hi Noah." 

"Where'd you wander off to?" Noah's words were slurred, and his eyes open now, lifting his head up to rest his chin on Nicholas' shoulder now. "I've been waiting for you to come take a shot with me, Mimi's being a wimp about it."

Naomi notices the shift in Nicholas' eyes and the way his throat bobs at the close proximity. Her hand drops from Noah's hair to his thigh, gently rubbing, and the boy reaches absentmindedly with his free hand to lace their fingers together.

"I am not." She argues and can't help but huff, eyes rolling. "He gave me tequila when he knows I fucking hate it."

"Oh, man." Nicholas laughs, eyes scrunching. "You know how she feels about tequila, dude. She can't handle it like us - she’s a baby.”

Her mouth drops open, offended.

“Hey!” But it goes ignored.

"Well, I was waiting for you! Then I couldn't find you so," Noah shrugs and lifts his head to look at her. "Mimi was my victim for the night."

"I'm here now." She notices the way Nicholas' shoulders relax, leaning into Noah. His smile isn't strained anymore. "Do you think you can handle another one?"

The mischievous grin Noah gives Nicholas is answer enough and before she realizes it, there's more shots on the table for them - tequila still, much to Naomi's dismay. Jolly joins them at some point, and so does Folio, but they both come and go as they work their way around the bar to talk to everyone. The three of them stay put in their booth, throwing back shots.

As the night goes on, her mind grows hazier and hazier with each shot she takes. She should've stopped, she knows this, especially when they stopped tasting like alcohol and more like water, but it was the only way to calm her nerves. Even in her drunk haze she was able to notice how handsy Noah was tonight.

Perhaps it was the tequila making him this way, and maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other in so long that he needed to touch her in any way that he could, but it was driving her crazy. His hand would inch higher every few minutes, fingers dipping into the exposed flesh of her thigh. Every time she'd feel his nails dig into her skin she'd squirm, pressing her thighs together to relieve some of the pressure building up. 

She moved her focus from the hand on her thigh, to try and regain some kind of normalcy in that brain of hers, and found Nicholas staring at her. Well, not exactly staring at her but... at Noah's hand on her thigh, inching upward every few seconds. His tongue darts out to swipe over his bottom lip and then his eyes flick up towards hers, widening for a second when he realized he had been caught. 

Her breath hitches and she just can't seem to look away, and neither could Nicholas, and it wasn't until another squeeze on her thigh from Noah pulled her away from those hypnotizing eyes.

"-huh?" She says dumbly, looking over at Noah. He had said something, but she didn't quite catch it, too preoccupied. Noah laughs. If he had noticed her staring at Nicholas, he didn't comment on it.

"Just said I don't think I've drank this much in... forever." He hums, head leaning on her shoulder. She relaxes and leans into him, head turning to brush her lips against the side of his head.

"Same." She groans, eyes fluttering shut. "Don't think I've ever drank so much tequila in my life. You two are evil."

She hears both Nicholas and Noah chuckle at that and she smiles, opening her eyes again to look between the two. It was nice to be there with them, reminding her of the days spent in their apartment with their cheap, shitty wine. Her stomach turns, chest squeezing at the memory, and she feels herself almost yearning for that. Back when things didn't have to make sense and she just loved being around them.

If only things could be so simple.

"Yeah, it's been a minute since I've drank this much." Nicholas says while scratching at his neck, a light flush covering his cheeks. "Think I need to slow down."

"Fuck. Same." Noah's quiet for a moment before he laughs, picking his head up to look at Nicholas. "Remember that one night? Like... two years ago?"

Nicholas raises a brow at him. "You're gonna have to be more specific there, man."

"Davis' birthday? We almost drank damn near everything by ourselves."

Naomi sees something shift in Nicholas' eyes, the redness on his cheeks becoming more and more apparent as time passes.

"Oh yeah." His voice is clipped, jaw twitching. "I remember."

Her eyes narrow between the two boys, not understanding the exchange. He seemed... she wasn't sure what he seemed like, but the only thing she could describe it as is tense. Just like he'd been for weeks. She doesn't remember the last time she'd seen Nicholas relaxed for more than an hour; doesn't even remember the last time she didn't notice the lingering sadness that floated around in his eyes. She frowns at him, and he shifts his gaze, looking back at Noah.

"That was fucking crazy." Noah slurs, then turns his head to look at Naomi. "Have I ever told you about that night?"

She shakes her head. "Nah. All I remember is that you guys were miserable the next day. Kind of glad I had to miss it for work."

"You should be glad. Davis almost killed us." Nicholas grumbled and Noah laughed beside her.

"I only remember bits from that night, if I'm being honest." He starts, and then turns his focus back on Nicholas. "Didn't I kiss you?"

"Pardon?" She feels like her eyes are about to jump right out of her fucking head, heart pounding against her chest. Noah looks at her again, head tilted. "Back track. You guys kissed?!"

"Almost." Nicholas' eyes are just as wide as hers and he's quick to answer, head shaking. "Almost kissed. I think I stopped him. Or… maybe Davis did? Actually, I think he ended up tripping and stopping himself.”

Noah's laughing again, all happy and calm as if he didn't just drop the biggest bomb in the history of ever. Naomi's heart slows down, only slightly though, because they didn't actually kiss. For some reason she finds herself being a tad bit disappointed by that. 

This is not helping her earlier thoughts one fucking bit.

"Oh yeah! I did trip, but I think Davis was going to stop us, anyways."

Naomi's eyes flick between them in silence as her mind goes into overdrive, every possible scenario running through it. Noah and Nicholas almost kissed. Touching and kissing and the sweet, sweet noises Noah would be making because she knows how much the boy loves kissing and... 

The tequila is working overtime tonight because her mouth moves before her mind can even catch up.

"Me and Nicky almost kissed once, too."

It was Noah's turn to look at her like she was crazy, brown eyes wide in surprise. Nicholas looks... terrified. All the color has drained from his face and part of her feels bad, like she should have asked him if it was okay to bring it up, but Noah had brought up their almost kiss. Why couldn't she? It's not like they actually did kiss, just like them.

Even if she wishes they had.

"When?!" Noah practically shrieks, and if it weren't for the music and other conversations going on in the bar, she's sure everyone else would've heard them. 

She shrugs. "Uh. When he tattooed me. The first time. Forever ago."

Noah's mouth parts and looks at her, and then at Nicholas, then back to her again.

"Wow..."

Her stomach swirls with nerves and she's sure he's just shocked and not

angry, especially when the way his grip has not loosened on her thigh one bit. She's more nervous about Nicholas, gazing up at him but he's already looking at her. She feels hot under his gaze, and there's something behind the look that she can't fucking read and it's driving her crazy.

"That's..." Noah starts again but stops, throat moving as he swallows, blinking between the both of them again. 

"It was forever ago. Before you guys were even a thing." Nicholas says quickly, placing a reassuring hand on Noah's thigh.

Noah just nods, dazed, and maybe it was the alcohol catching up making his reaction this way - whatever this way is - but the way he's looking at them... Naomi chews on her bottom lip, her hand finding Noah's that was still placed on her thigh. 

"Are you upset?" She questions, fear rising inside of her.

"No." He's quick with his response, turning his full attention to her. "I'm just... thinking."

"...About what?" 

"I..." Noah pauses, tongue darting out to swipe across his bottom lip, eyes shifting between both her and Nicholas. "I think you guys should kiss."

She freezes, the hand she had on Noah's thigh digging into the fabric of his jeans. Her eyes dart to Nicholas' and she's sure they have the same exact look on their faces - eyes blown wide, lips parted, staring at Noah like he had three fucking heads because... what the fuck? 

Naomi notices the way Nicholas shifts uncomfortably in his seat, lips pressed in a line as his eyes dart between her and Noah. She catches his gaze and holds it steadily, trying to ask him quietly what the hell do we do? without actually saying anything. His jaw twitches, and then he swallows, and tears his gaze from hers to look at Noah.

"Isn't that... weird?" He starts, voice rough. He clears his throat. "You're dating."

Noah doesn't say anything at first, his blown-out eyes staring at the two of them sitting either side of him. Naomi's eyes drop to Nicholas' hand that's still placed on Noah's thigh, and then to her own hand that's wrapped in between her boyfriend's. Her stomach swirls, heat builds up inside of her just at the very image of Noah pressed against the two of them, and she's reminded of their interaction on stage. She bites down on her bottom lip and squeezes Noah's hand, causing the boy to look at her.

"I wanna see it." Noah's words are slurred together, and she's reminded that the boy is very much drunk, as are her and Nicholas. 

"Noah, babe, I don't know-"

"Please." He cuts her off and his words are desperate, voice edging on a whine as he stares at her with wide eyes. "It's okay. I... I wanna see it."

Both her and Nicholas share a look across Noah, and she's sure they're both filled with uncertainty, but she can't help but want to do it so badly. Especially now that Noah is asking for it - practically begging. He wants them to kiss. He wants to see it. Why? She's not sure, but God does she want it. 

And with the way Nicholas is staring at her, it's safe to assume he wants it too.

"Okay." She says slowly, peeling her eyes away from Nicholas to look at her boyfriend. "As long as you're okay with it... and Nicky is, too."

Noah looks at Nicholas expectantly and she sees the older male swallow, eyes bouncing between the two of them before he nods slowly.

"Yeah." He clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm okay with it."

Great. Cool. Fantastic.

She swallows the lump in her throat, anxiety climbing its way through her as the two of them shift around to get into a much more comfortable position. Noah stays between them, watching with eager eyes, and Naomi doesn't dare take her hand away from his, his touch keeping her grounded.

What the fuck is happening? He has to realize how crazy this is, right? He's just drunk. He would never let this happen if he was sober, thinking more clearly. Though, her mind drifts to the saying of drunk words being your sober thoughts, and her body heats up just at the mere thought of Noah thinking about this before. 

She sucks in a shaky breath as Nicholas leans towards her, his forehead pressing against her own. Noah's hand squeezes hers, his thumb sliding against her skin reassuringly, but the nerves in her stomach won't quit. 

Her eyes flutter shut the second their lips meet, and she can't stop the gasp that seems to leave her. His lips were soft, not as soft as Noah's, but much softer than she ever expected. They both don't move at first, just sit there with their lips pressed together, until she feels Noah's hands squeeze hers again. She moves first, lips dragging across Nicholas' and she physically shakes at the noise he makes, a groan from deep inside his chest. He reaches up with a shaky hand to cup the side of her face and she wraps her free hand around his wrist, keeping it there as their lips move together.

Naomi swears her heart is about to burst out of her chest when she pulls away from Nicholas. Silence surrounds them as their eyes open and her breath catches in her throat, lips still buzzing from the kiss, and she so desperately wants to lean back in. She doesn't though, instead her tongue darts out to swipe across her bottom lip and her entire body heats up as Nicholas' eyes follows it, before dragging his eyes back up her face.

"My turn." Noah's voice pulled Naomi's gaze away from Nicholas, looking into her boyfriend's wide, brown eyes. He looked just about as dazed as she felt, his skin flushed pink from the alcohol and possibly something else. He purses his lips into a pout. "Please?"

She smiles easily, her hand that was resting against his thigh coming up to cup the side of his face. Noah melts into the touch instantly, turning his head to nose at the palm of her hand. "Of course, baby."

They fall into each other naturally, Naomi's lips finding home against Noah's. It felt right - like it always had. Even in her drunken state it still felt as if this was where she was supposed to be, and with Nicholas being so close, her heart nearly jumped its way out of her chest at just how perfect everything felt. Like he was always meant to be there, with them. 

Noah's kisses are desperate, a bit sloppy, something that tends to happen when he drinks, and Naomi's hand falls from his cheek to the back of his neck, fingers working through his hair. She tugs gently, a silent way of telling him to relax, breathe, and the whimper he lets out against her lips goes straight to her core.

Fuck.

They pull a part and Noah already looks wrecked, lips red, shiny, and swollen. His flushed face even darker now, eyes dilated like crazy. He looks like she could tell him to do anything, and he’d do it, simply only to please her. She smiles sweetly at him, gently scratching at his scalp and leaning back in to press a kiss to the side of his mouth.

"Was that good enough for you?" She teases in a gentle voice when she pulls back.

Noah nods but doesn't say a word, staring at her for a moment before he glances off to the side. Nicholas sits beside them quietly, patiently, but with the same blown-out, flustered gaze Noah has. She's sure she looks similar to them, a slight twinge of color to her cheeks, eyes wild. She swallows.

"Nicky," Noah hums from beside her, shifting his body towards Nicholas'. Her hand falls from his hair and back to his thigh. "Can I kiss you too?"

He says it so gently, with so much care, that Naomi's heart clenches beneath her chest. Noah looks back at her for a moment, eyes wide now with a bit of fear, silently asking permission and she nods. Of course, she does, because why would she ever deny him of this? She sees it now, sees what Analise had been trying to tell her just mere weeks ago. 

If these boys haven't noticed it yet, they will soon.

She looks at Nicholas now, seeing the hesitancy behind his eyes and she gives him a nod as well. She watches his throat bob as he swallows before his gaze lands on Noah's again, giving him a timid smile.

"Is that what you want?"

Noah nods, a little too enthusiastically that Naomi has to hold back a laugh. "Yes. I want it." 

Another glance is shared between Naomi and Nicholas and the older boy nods to himself, as if preparing for what's about to happen. 

"Okay."

At first no one moves, and Naomi watches the two boys expectantly as they stare at each other. Noah's gaze falls to Nicholas' lips and his tongue darts out to swipe over his own before a whine pulls itself from his chest and he's reaching out, fingers curling around Nicholas' shirt to bring him closer. Nicholas lets him do it, eyes shutting as their lips finally meet and Naomi freezes. She doesn't move, doesn't even fucking breathe, but watches both boys kiss in front of her.

Noah whines against Nicholas' lips, desperate and borderline pitiful, and Naomi's thighs press together. The noise travels straight to her core and her fingers dip into Noah's thigh, her grip tightening. She watches carefully as Nicholas brings a hand up to Noah's cheek, cupping his cheek like had done hers moments ago while the younger trying to deepen the kiss. Their lips slide together messily, hungry for more, and the only thing she can think of right now is how good they look together and how she desperately wants to be between them.

She has to push the thought of her lips sliding across Noah's, Nicholas behind her and his lips attached to her neck, so far to the back of her mind or else... she's not sure what she would do. But whatever it is she can't do it, especially here. In a very public place. Her heart rate picks up just at the thought of someone catching them and almost as if they could feel her distress, the two boys finally part.

Nicholas looks at her first, eyes darting between her and Noah. She swallows at the sight of his hand still placed against Noah's cheek, thumb brushing against his skin.

"Happy?"

Noah nods in his hold, dazed, and at a loss for words. Nicholas smiles, small, but soft, and it's the smile she knows that he's saved for only them, and the quick pace of her heart slows down for just a moment. This feels right. The thought doesn't scare her as much.

Noah finally looks at her, hooded eyes and a dazed smile settling on his lips, and she can't help but reach forward, pushing some hair out of his face and tucking it loosely behind his ear. He turns his head slightly, pressing another kiss against the base of his palm and her heart squeezes beneath her chest. She feels Nicholas' eyes on her, and she turns to look at him.

Two things happened at that moment. 

She notices the exact moment of realization flash through Nicholas' eyes when they finally meet hers, and she watches them widen. She's not sure what exactly he's realizing, because she thinks he's known about his own feelings for some time now, but perhaps... Perhaps he's realizing that he's not the only one in this. That he’s not alone.

She can only hope, though.

The soft realization is soon overtaken by another, eyes widening even more, and her skin runs cold. The softness is gone and now replaced by fear, and his face drains from any color. His hand drops from Noah's cheek and scoots away from him, trying to put some distance between the three of them. 

He's panicking. 

"Nicky..." She starts, sobering up quickly. 

"I'm okay." He sounds anything but and pushes himself up and out of the booth. "I'm okay. I just - I need air."

Noah stirs beside her, and he scoots closer to the edge of the booth, trying to reach out for Nicholas. "Where are you going?"

Nicholas looks down at him, and then her, and his expression is pained, like he's battling with himself internally. Naomi's heart drops.

"I'll be back, okay?" He rushes out, giving Noah a quick and very strained smile. "I just. Need air. It's hot. I'm drunk. Not a good mix."

And then he's gone, pushing his way through the crowd to get as far away from them as he could. Naomi feels like she could cry, the moment sobering her up too fucking much because the moment was finally catching up to her.

What the fuck did they do?

"Is he okay?" Noah's voice breaks her out of her thoughts, and she blinks away the tears she hadn't realized were building up, looking towards her boyfriend.

"Yeah." She says, but she feels like it’s a lie, and reaches forward to smooth some of his hair back. "Just needed some air. He'll be back."

That seems to be enough for Noah, his shoulders dropping in relief and a satisfied smile stretches across his lips. Naomi tries to smile back, but she knows it doesn't reach her eyes and she leans forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"Let's get some water, yeah? I don't think we need any more shots."

He agrees easily, letting her drag him through the crowd to try and find some water, and they eventually bump into Jolly and Folio on the way. She tries to act normal, even when Jolly asks where Nicholas ran off to, but he seems to be satisfied when she tells him that he just went outside for a breather, he'll be back. No one questioned it again, even when they didn't see him for the rest of the night. 

[annahiril]

The cringe anon who sent you hate is definitely some annoyed Haladriel shipper lol.I love your oc though don't be discouraged and keep drawing whatever you like🥹

Thank you so much for your support 🥹✨️❤️

I'm so happy you like my OC, it mean a lot 🥰

And don't worry, I won't stop sharing my work ✊🏻 In fact, I'm currently working on multiple drawings at the same time 😂

I will be sharing about it soon ❤️

Well, when I first read the anon ask, I thought the same thing 🤔 People get usually mad when OCs are an "obstacle" to their ship.

But maybe I'm wrong? I know some people just don't like fandom OCs in general...

But let's be clear, I have nothing against haladriel/saurondriel shippers.

I do appreciate them and they are welcome on my blog ❤️

But you must know that I have my own opinion on haladriel/saurondriel.

I've never talked about it before, but this is how I see their relationship:

I do believe that Galadriel truly felt something strong for Halbrand during season 1. Whatever if it was love or just a deep friendship/connection, she has felt something for him. (I would be lying if I say otherwise).

But, I don't believe in Galadriel being in love with Sauron, at all.

I think it was made clear by the showrunners since the end of season 1:

When she learned Halbrand was in reality Sauron, her first reflex was to stab him (without any hesitation BTW). Plus, she clearly refused his offer.

In season 2, she also made it clear that "The door is shut".

Let's also recall that Sauron is implied in Finrod's death (her dear brother). That she (probably) loose Celeborn because of the war and that Sauron directly killed Celebrimbor (her friend).

She has absolutely no reason to love him, believe me.

So, I think we can all agree on the fact that Galadriel felt something for Halbrand, but not for Sauron.

It was also shown multiple times during season 2:

I'm thinking about her discussion with Gil-Galad when she said "Halbrand" instead of "Sauron". Or her reaction during episode 8, when Sauron took back his Halbrand form.

But what about Sauron?

He is the great deceiver... So in my opinion, he deceived Galadriel the same way he did with Celebrimbor, Mirdania or everyone else in this series.

He offers people what they desire. And this is exactly what he did with Galadriel, because he thinks she can help him to achieve his goal to rule over Middle-Earth.

That's all.

I will take this sentence as an example: "I will make you a Queen" and not "my Queen".

The use of "a" instead of "my" is what make me think he doesn't have any feelings towards her and knows she doesn't either.

When he offers her to be a Queen, he gave what she deeply desired. And in this case, it wasn't being his Queen. It was, as she said herself "an army" or the power to become a powerful ruler.

Don't you think that he would have offered her to be his Queen if he knows she was in love with him? I mean, love is a strong feeling that Sauron could have use to have her on his side. But he hasn't!

So, yeah, I'm not taking any of Sauron's offer for Galadriel as love proposal...

Although, Sauron being in love is not something I'm against! (Has you can guess)

But in the case of saurondriel, I don't see any romantic feelings.

So, to resume, I do believe Galadriel felt something strong for Halbrand, but I don't believe into Sauron and Galadriel being in love.

But I guess, only the showrunners know the truth after all...

So please, note that even if I'm not an haladriel/saurondriel shipper, I do respect all people who enjoy this ship.

In fact, I can understand why you like this pairing. The rivalry between light and darkness make their dynamic really interesting.

So, even thought I'm not into it, I still enjoy looking at haladriel/saurondriel fanarts or read fanfic/theories about this ship.

Also, I would like to finish by saying that's OK if you don't agree with my interpretation. After all, we all have a personal one.

But please, I will ask you to respect my own vision of haladriel/saurondriel.

Thank you ❤️

And thank you again anon for your kind message 🥰✨️

I wish you a nice day ✨️

[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. Dear readers, I'm here to let you know that if you enjoy this fic, please engage with it. Comments and likes are welcome. I appreciate everyone who follows this fanfic, but I must admit that it might be coming to an end. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

chapter five chapter seven

CHAPTER SIX

The first few days avoiding Dean seemed the most complicated. Whether you like it or not, being next-door neighbors and getting used to doing certain things at the same time to meet in secret from Sam made everything more complicated. But by the second week of avoiding the Winchesters, you were already an expert at not running into either of them. That doesn't mean it was easy, though. Today, you finally sent the first draft of your new book to the publisher. So you decided to go out and do some grocery shopping. The store isn't crowded; it's a quiet time to get lost between the dairy and frozen food sections. You don't want to admit it, but even grocery shopping now reminds you of Dean. And you can't stand that.

"Are you sure your brother asked for this type of shampoo? He doesn't seem like the guy who needs to control oily hair." You hear a woman saying this, and it reminds you that you're running low on shampoo too. You head towards the hair care products, and your eyes meet the person you most want to avoid.

"You'd be surprised how much maintenance his hair needs. I need to grab something over there." Dean says loudly enough for you to hear. You try to avoid him by heading into the baby aisle. Now you're surrounded by powders, diaper packs, wet wipes, and formula.

"Can you stop running away from me?" Dean says in an exaggerated manner, definitely grabbing your attention—and the attention of almost everyone in the store.

" I wouldn't have to run if you'd stop coming after me, Winchester." You reply, turning to face him. Now it's just you and him, face to face, with only a shopping cart separating you.

"I doubt you have any idea how much I've wanted to find you these past few weeks. Even though I have no clue what I'd do if I did. It feels strange to say this while you're my neighbor and not long ago we were…" Dean begins to speak, and you look at him as if you don't know what to do. In reality, you have no idea what to do. Fight with him? Reconnect with him? But what exactly would you be reconnecting?"

"We were nothing. Now, can you do us both a favor and move on with your life?" You say, trying to avoid Winchester's gaze.

"For you, does moving forward mean pretending that the other person doesn't exist? Because if so, I don't intend to forget you. Or move on." Dean looks serious about what he's talking about. And you wish you could trust that he's serious about not forgetting you.

"Why would you say that, if you know that we shouldn't mean anything to each other? If you know that you're not over Castiel? If you're here with someone else, you shouldn't be talking to me like that." Your words carry a sentimentality inappropriate for the nature of your relationship with Dean. You both clearly should never have gotten close, since neither of you knows how to be casual about your feelings.

"I talked to him. After what you said. I realized I was being a fool for undervaluing someone who meant so much to me. And I'm here with a friend, not a substitute for you," Dean says, taking another step towards you, keeping his eyes fixed on you.

"And what do you want now? Why do you want to be near me? To apologize for being a jerk? Or to regret ever stepping into my life?" you say, leaving your cart still between you and Dean but moving toward him. Part of you wants to confront him without anything between you, and the other part just wants to forget this argument and jump into his bed.

"I would never regret you. Actually, I regret not being worthy of your attention. But the truth is, I don't know how to function without you anymore. Without waiting for my idiot brother to fall asleep so I can sneak into your place, going to the store to buy anything just to spend time with you, cooking for you after sex because we both get ravenous." Everything he is saying lowers your guard, everything so personal. The truth is, you miss the comfort of having him around. Not thinking about labels or anything else, just being together. Realizing that you are more than his writer neighbor and he is more than your womanizing neighbor.

"What does all this mean, Winchester? You declaring yourself like a lovestruck boy, what exactly does it mean?" Your question seems to surprise him. The truth is it feels like you've been going in circles when it comes to this relationship, if you can even call it a relationship, what you had or have.

"If you want me, it can mean an official relationship with all the trimmings—expectations, sentimentality, companionship, silly romantic dates, and awkward family moments. The full package. In good times and bad, in sickness and in health; until my brother and your sister kill me for breaking the rule of not getting too close to you." Dean says, smiling slightly. You move a bit closer to him, looking him seriously in the eyes. Until you open your arms and move toward him. Missing him outweighs your anger. Dean holds you firmly in his arms, and when you lift your head to look at him, he kisses you gently. A very soft kiss.

"You know you basically just proposed to me, right?" you say as your lips part from Dean's, who laughs.

"Sorry, babygirl, but I think you're the one who wants to marry me. But first, we need to take it slow. I still need to win your sister's approval, and one of us has to tell Sam what's going on," Dean says, and you chuckle at the thought of it. Just then, you hear someone clear their throat behind you. It's Dean's friend, standing there with a basket full of groceries.

"Not that either of you cares, but you can see all this sappy crap from a mile away. I'm Charlie, by the way, and I should let you know that Sam already knows. He actually made me bring Dean to the market to see if he could get over the weird breakup between you two." Charlie extends her hand towards you, and you shake it, feeling a bit awkward about how this is your first meeting.

"I think it's best if we all head home. It's a pleasure to meet you, Charlie. I'll finish my shopping and meet you at the exit." You say, separating from Dean and grabbing your cart again. Before heading back to your shopping, you and Dean share a quick kiss, and as you walk to another section of the market, you can hear Charlie cursing Dean for abandoning her with the groceries.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi!!! This is my first time ever requesting but I had to try it!! What would Mirko, Dabi, Hawks, Toga, Endeavor, and possibly All Might react to having a fem s/o that has a quirk that immediately calms the person they touch so many heroes and villains tend to try to take her for their own needs because they’re obsessed with finally being able to feel some sense of peace alwkjeebw I hope that this is ok if it’s too many characters I totally understand!!! Hope you’re having a great day!!

Hello Anon! Thank you so much for sending in your request and choosing me as the first person you sent a request to! Sorry it took a while to finish! I've been swamped by matchup requests lately (something I'm certainly not complaining about). I hope you like your headcanons!

I don't see Mirko as someone who seeks the feeling of peace a whole lot. Even though she has her unsatiable desire to fight, she's happy with herself.

Still, she appreciates the sense of peace her s/o's powers bring whenever she's around them.

She doesn't really know if her s/o's powers cause them to feel emotional pain themselves. She's asked a few times but her s/o's assurances that it's fine do little to ease her concerns.

Mirko is definitely one to do little things to make sure her s/o gets moments of peace as well. It can be stressful having heroes and villains constantly seeking you out just to get a taste of peace.

As long as her s/o says it's okay, Mirko won't have a problem with people approaching them asking for a hit of peace. If too many people approach her s/o or her s/o seems uncomfortable thought, it's a different issue.

Her main priority is always going to be the wellbeing of her s/o.

And if a villain kidnaps her s/o? Mirko's on a one woman mission to get them back.

Definitely craves peace. After everything he's been through, he needs some time to just relax.

Obviously this could go down a yandere path, but I'd rather go with the scenario where Dabi's s/o chose to be with him.

He feels so honoured that them chose him of all people to be with. Yes, the powers are a nice side effect, but Dabi's convinced his s/o's presence alone, powers or not, brings him a sense of comfort unlike any other.

Definitely protective of his s/o. It's not that he doesn't want others to feel peace. He couldn't care less about that! He's just worried that his s/o is going to leave him.

Doesn't matter if it's a hero or another villain that tries to take his s/o away from him, he's fighting for their freedom like his life depends on it.

He loves coming back to his s/o after a long day. Getting to spend time with the person he loves, and getting the benefit of their quirk easing all of his aches, pains, and worries is the best part of his day.

This guy is somewhere in between Mirko and Dabi.

Some days, he's completely fine. These are the days when he's more worried about his s/o's mental health than anything else.

Other days, his hero work gets too much and he just needs to destress. That's not to say Hawks doesn't still care about his s/o! He really does. He's just so tired.

Protective of his s/o, but no more than other heroes in committed relationships. If his s/o gets kidnapped, by either a villain or a hero goes rogue, he'll obviously get them back.

But he's not rushing in headfirst like Mirko would. He's been working on undercover cases for too long to do that. He'll infiltrate wherever his s/o's being held and break them out with as few casualties as possible.

Hawks doesn't want his s/o to carry any guilt about people getting hurt because of their powers. It also gives him a chance to isolate the person who kidnapped his s/o later and find out exactly why they did it. They'll be brought to justice. But he's doing it his way.

A side effect of his s/o's powers on Hawks is that when he gets relaxed, his feather fluff up. If he's really relaxed, he might make soft cooing noises. Just don't mention it. He gets embarrassed.

Doesn't necessarily think about the benefits of her s/o's quirk at first, but the first time she gets a hit of peace, she knows she needs more.

Gets addicted quickly to the feeling of peace. Izuku Midoriya? Who's he? The only person she has eyes for is her new s/o!

Another one who could really easily go down the yandere path.

Assuming her s/o chose to be with her though? She's the happies person in the world! Sometimes when she's under the power of her s/o's quirk and her racing mind is slowed, she wonders why her s/o chose her.

Her s/o's quirk dulls the urge to draw blood, maim, and kill, so Toga can't tell whether she completely likes it or not. She's gotten so used to the urges that without them, she almost doesn't feel like herself.

But her s/o is happy that they can do something to help her relax and Toga loves the floating feeling her s/o's quirk gives her so she's happy to keep hanging around them.

Has this man ever felt peace in his life? Probably not.

So when he first gets a hit of his s/o's quirk? Endeavour probably crumples to the ground. He's not entirely sure why his legs have just stopped working or why his shoulders feel so miraculously relaxed but he does know it's a feeling he could get used to.

I feel like some small part of Endeavour (especially in the more recent part of My Hero Academia) feels like he shouldn't be allowed to relax.

It's more than he deserves after everything he's put his family through.

So he probably wouldn't use his s/o's powers that much. Then again, he can't exactly stop them from using them if and when they chose.

If his s/o got kidnapped, he's assembling a team to take them down. Yes, he's one of the highest ranking heroes in Japan. Yes, he could take out the hero or villain who kidnapped his s/o by himself.

But he lives in the public eye. If everyone found out how much he cares about his s/o, more people would be coming after them.

He doesn't want to put his s/o in any more danger than they need to be.

Has forgotten what peace feels like honestly. He's been keeping up his persona of All Might for so long that he doesn't remember what it's like to just relax.

So incredibly grateful to his s/o! Anything they want, he's on it. Back rubs? Those muscles can be put to use for something other than fighting villains! A snack from their favourite café? He's pretty fast, he'll be back before his s/o knows it!

He feels it's the least he can do.

Unlike Endeavour, All Might has no worries about rushing in to protect or rescue his s/o. He knows that most of Japan probably knows about his relationship so there's no point in trying to hide how much he cares.

Might sneak into wherever his s/o's hiding in his weak form before breaking them out as "All Might".

He does have to be careful though. His s/o's powers revert him back to his weak form in an instant so they have to be very careful about when and where they use them.

[radioisntdead]

Hazbin hotel stardew valley AU?

Charlie is probably the mayor and does the events/ birthdays

Alastors route definitely has it revealed he's killing newcomers to the valley and eats them hence why there is a limited number of people.

I have no idea if nifty would be one of the children or one of the various creatures XD

Would vaggies ex angel arc translate in her previously working for Joja mart??

-🧵🧶 oldie

Good evening dearest 🧵🧶 Oldie! It's a pleasure to have you in my inbox again! HAZBIN HOTEL STARDEW VALLEY AU DHSHDH THERE'S SO MORE POTENTIAL HERE, (mild Stardew valley spoilers ahead!) (I haven't played the new update yet so no idea if there's new lore)

Vaggie being from Joja mart is hilarious, because that implies that Adam could be Morris, Sera and Emily in a Joja mart uniform is SO CURSED I LOVE IT, Lute's the secretary that doesn't get paid enough but is very supportive of her Boss, I'm gonna come back to this.

Charlie would be such a good mayor! Far better then Lewis {I have beef with him, MARNIE DESERVES BETTER even if she's never home} she's a newly elected Mayor after the old one, uh went missing,

she actively wants to rebuild the community center, like she'll rally up the town folk to clean up the town, they clean up the beaches in a musical number, she wants more folks to move to their lovely little town, Vaggie was originally sent to Stardew Valley {Hazbin valley? What would pelican town be? Hazbin town? Hell town??} To begin the Joja mart propaganda but Charlie being the friendly sweetheart she was managed to accidentally seduce her and that was history, she went back to headquarters and she quit, blue wasn't her color anyways

OR Lute came to check up on her and literally tore the Joja mart jacket off of her like she did her wings, like

"you don't deserve to be part of Joja."

"Lute, Wait!-"

RIIIIIIIPPPP

"Fuck! My jacket!"

Maybe she gets hit with a Joja cola can and that's how she loses her eye in this AU.

Husk is probably Gus, (Husk, Gus IT RHYMES IT'S FATE) and Shane, mixed together, The saloon sells beer and food, (I'm a huskerdust supporter so gonna play into that here) Angel and him run it together, there's a separate area that's more of the club vibe whilst the main bit of the saloon is the Bar, past the club there's a small casino.

Angel dust doesn't know how he went from being a big shot crime guy and unholy videos star in the city to hiding out in this small town, (he does, Molly and Niss are there too, they got moved for protection.) (I LOVE MOLLY SO MUCH, WE NEED TO SEE HER PLEA-)

He didn't like it much at first, but he got used to this little town and The old saloon owner, and well, after a couple'a years they got hitched!

Y'all know Kent? He's getting replaced with Cherri bomb because he sends bombs in the mail, I love the man and appreciate the bombs they help when I'm speedrunning the mines, Sir Pentious is Jodi and the Egg boys are their children, Sir Pentious also runs some type of hardware store or something to do with inventing.

Alastor lives on the cusp of town, not too far away like the wizard (Or in this case Zestial, because old people, Carmilla and her daughters live near by, they moved to get away from the big city but Carmilla makes the long commute to the city every other day, or maybe Lucifer is the wizard and Lilith the witch?? But I don't think they're divorced, maybe He's the governor of the valley,

HE'S THE GOVERNOR NOW)

Alastor runs something, no one exactly knows what, Husk made a deal with him in order to keep the Saloon after his original casino got taken away, and that's kept him afloat, he provides Alastor with free food and drink.

Niffty kinda showed up one day and works with him now, No one knows where she came from not even Alastor, she probably came from the Witch's swamp

Husk and Alastor are good friends in this AU (THE OLD FANART OF THEM BEING FRIENDS EHHSHS MY HEART, I LOVE FRIENDSHIP PLEASE)

They're drinkin' buddies, they still have that unhealthy dynamic, one has power over the other dynamic but less so, like souls aren't involved.

The Vee's are more in the city but Vox takes a trip evey other week to sit outside Alastor's house and plead.

He ends up drinking at Husk's but that's not important, Rosie manages the next town over and she visits Alastor often, Mimzy is a character that randomly appears and disappears at random, she probably gives you stuff if she likes you.

Building off the Alastor murking the new folks, I think He's picky on who he lets in, because that's HIS town, If one was to behave.... Foolish they're as good as dead, because they will be dead, but if one is a respectable fella then come on in!

If Adam takes the place of Morris he comes on in, Joja cola in hand, decked out in Joja merchandise, Vaggie failed so he was there now, Emily tags along because she wants to visit her cousin, Charlie.

Marriageable characters that I got so far are

Molly, Angel dust's twin, we don't know much about her but from the wiki she's very cheerful so I imagine she's in the middle of the wooing scale, not to hard but not too easy to woo, I feel like you can get up to five hearts with her quickly but after that it's harder, But once you give her a bouquet and interact with Angel afterwards you'll get a cut scene of him telling you Good luck, because he's not gonna do much threatening but his and Molly's brother will.

Arackniss, I imagine he's like Shane, very closed off, you are going to have to WORK for his guy to like you, slow burn.

Lute, Good luck, I repeat good luck, No one here is gonna be easy to woo, she's gonna be guarded off she is NOT going to end up like Vaggie, stuck here in a small town that barely anyone knows!

Adam, Why, WHY, I'm assuming your doing the Joja route because that's the only way, It's a surefire way to keep him from leaving the valley after you shut down Joja.

Emily, She's the easiest to woo out of everyone, be a sweetheart to her and she'll return the favor, she will not tolerate you insulting anyone though so be careful in your dialogue choices with her.

Alastor, he's the type that'll take forever to woo, like good luck your gonna need the wikipedia pulled up and everything, not to mention with the his route reveals his murdery ways you're gonna have to be okay with that, If not you'll be joining the choir of dead folks, maybe if he really likes you, you'll get off lightly with a visit to the witch and get your memories wiped.

You don't know if Alastor is a marriage candidate until LATER LATER ON, like it takes hearts with multiple folks (Like Rosie) cut scenes etc etc.

No one replaces Krobus in this AU, he is perfect.

Susan is George, No idea who Evelyn is (I LOVE EVELYN) But Susan is George, she technically doesn't live in pelican town (???) but she visits because she's buddies with Angel dust.

You can build hearts with her and she'll send you letters and give you stuff while insulting you.

THAT'S ALL I GOT FOR NOW BUT I WANNA BUILD UPON THIS AU, MAYBE MAKE A SERIES??

[fractualized]

hi I sent that last ask and I appreciate you so much. I love how chill you are. I love that you speak up and aren't afraid of others people's opinions of you -- because you talking about that helps me realize exactly what you were talking about about.

my critical online space that shaped my brain was Tumblr growing up, much in the same way reddit or 4chan or anything else was for others, and as positive as it was and as much as I stay here, there were some HEAVY years of thought policing and performing perfectly at all times and I really think it fucked with my head!

not to trauma dump, but the way it related to starting off by policing each other in fandom just happened to spill into every other aspect of my life too. every thing is black and white. every interaction is perfect or you are flawed and not worth anything at all. people literally judging you off stupid fandom shit behind a fake name dressed up in sparkles and curiosity was enough to call you a monster who deserved to be alone. the fuck??

from fandom cops telling me that portrayals of fictional characters in my head were an actual meter that we can base if we're deserving of human connection made me think about what ELSE could be important. aren't there things a little more pressing than fictional characters?? the words I use. the way I behave. move my face. micro express, leave pauses in sentences, judged by everything! I've been taught that the LITTLEST OF INDICATIONS OF HUMANITY were going to be the death of me. I couldn't exist. all because of fictional themes that creators are allowed to make, but fans are not allowed to enjoy unless it's the "right way". even though the people CREATING it are also exploring it. rules for thee but not for me.

it's gross. I felt like a monster and when the only other people who are kind to you are monsters, it really makes you wonder why fandom cops find themselves so much morally superior to others 👹

People have told me I'm chill before and I'm always like, "excellent, they can't tell I'm yelling on the inside." 😂

Sometimes I wonder if I would be different if the show Heroes hadn't ended as such a clusterfuck. And by that I mean that my experience with that show ended on such a sour note, I wound up drifting away from fandom for 5-ish years. And it wasn't because of the Heroes fandom itself! It was because by the end I was hate-watching the show, and that kind of headspace is just no good. I wasted too much energy being mad at something that wasn't going to improve, and my other fandom interests weren't strong enough for fic, etc. I still lurked here and there, but otherwise I focused on life stuff.

At the point I left, tumblr was popular but I was still a livejournal (and journalfen) holdout. As a result, I was simply absent during the most intense tumblr years. I have a general idea of what it was like from everyone's descriptions, but from my point of view, five years passed, Telltale Batman: the Enemy Within came a-calling, I started writing fic again, and uhhhhh things sure were different.

Not entirely for the worse. For one thing, as someone who unavoidably grew older, yeah, I do keep in mind that there are children running around these parts. The increased focus on tagging your work is also good, so people can avoid what they don't want to see. And it's just always been a good general rule to be mindful when getting into sensitive topics, and I was seeing more of that.

Buuuuuuuut yeah, with that it seemed like "don't like; don't read" was out, and witch hunting was in. Some slight mistake might indicate you were actually one of the Bad Ones all the long! And everyone must know! I mean, there's always been fandom police, but fandom's mainstreamification definitely made it worse for a host of reasons. And I actually was unnerved by it for a while, even though the Enemy Within finale had me indulging in fluff. I was probably safe-- but then again who knows what blunder or improper deference to a sensitive subject could bring a swarm of strangers!

But eventually I was fluffed out, and chatting batjokes with people was giving me new ideas that would have me explore and indulge in (gasp) darker ideas. And by that point I was just like, I'm a freaking adult. I tag my shit. I'm here to have a good time with people I like, not worry about a bunch of randos who probably get as much anxiety making a cold call as I do. And yeah, why are fans supposed to be judged on a different metric than the creators?? I'm going to do what I want!

And with that rallying cry… I mean, nothing ever happened. 😂 Not the first time I've built up worries in my head for nothing.

I can see it taking me longer to get to that point if I'd fully marinated in the thought policing, though. I think people get that instinct because of the age-old lack of control elsewhere in life (especially nowadays, with all the… everything). Surely if someone can get everyone in their orbit to behave in just this way, then at least things there will be okay. Nothing bad will happen! (It's not as if rigid mindsets hurt people and their relationships, or performatively good people still do atrocious things. No, surely not.)

I don't have a good closing, so here's an Reno 911 icon from the old days:

[salezmanradioz]

🎙️, 🔒, and ✈️ :]!!

🎙️ What’s your favourite (used or unused) voice line in the games?

My favorite line that I constantly quote from IEYTD is Juniper's "WINE, GLASSES- AND OH IS THIS BRIE?????" or his other line of "Then you took the time to write "JUNIPER HATED ON IT" and sent THE BOTTLE TO ME". It's so funny because why did he say Brie with such a emphasis on it, it's hilarious. But also him whining about wine is really funny.

🔒(If you subscribe to the relevant headcanons/theories:) What allows Agent Phoenix to reset after they die?

In the sense of the way I write my Phoenix: My Phoenix (Polyblank otherwise known as) is connected to a radio that he once carried years ago. When Prism was creating her robutlers and attempting to make them more "sentient" in a sense and more "human" she unknowingly made a sentient program on her computer titled "Nexus" which is similar to that of clippy. A former agent who was no longer in the field managed to , in a sense "possess" the former data on themselves. After a while, Phoenix latched onto the closest thing he knew, the radio. - I went on a long tangent but for the jist of it, Phoenix "resets" in his radio. I would imagine during the Death Engine while falling to their most certain death, he would've retreated back into the radio to recooperate. Obviously the radio would have been broken to smithereens but the Handler knows exactly how to fix it and here comes Phoenix crawling out the radio like nothing happened.

In a more closely related to the IEYTD franchise: I just think ultimately the game in itself is very silly and I just think that Agent Phoenix just defies all laws of how the world works in the game and just keeps defying death. Injured? Definitely, but alive. I like to think the TK Implant has something to do with it as well. There's NO WAY possible that the TK implant does not have side effects, both great and horrible.

✈️ Give a shout out to a fan artist / fic writer / etc. in the fandom that you appreciate! @purple-to-my-tangerine / @heres-to-all-that-is-mine Hi I immediately thought of Bug. Bug honestly let me indulge into the IEYTD more fandom (surprising). I didn't meet Bug through IEYTD but ey is pretty darn cool. Bug has watched me transform my John Juniper and Prism interpreations into OCS (I will still draw em for IEYTD but they'll be from now on tagged "IEYTD au" since I don't want too many people thinking they STRICTLY belong to IEYTD). I like silly and positive spin on things no matter who the characters are from the franchise :). Bug is a cool friend @cowboypigsy I mean come on buddy, I've know you for YEARS how could you NOT be here. Anyways, Pigsy sent me the IEYTD openings before a year ago and I listened to em like "wow these are so cool". Now here I am knee deep into this game. I took a listen again and got obsessed until I fixated on it. I then dragged Pigsy into the fixation with me and now we have agents, actors and cute gals.

There are other artists and writers I secretly lurk on (hi I'm too shy to engage sometimes) but I appreciate everyone's work here <3. I think this fandom is great and while every fandom has it's own flaws, I think most people here, if not, are pretty relaxed. Anyways shout out to the other artists and creators <3

[faksyan]

For the character ask thing, Decoy Octopus! No just kidding lol I'm gonna give you a Death Stranding character instead. Since you're new to the game and you might not have spent too much time thinking about the characters, choose one between these three: Fragile, Cliff Unger, Deadman.

Fragile!!!!!!!! Sorry I saw she was there and the decision was instantly made. Shame it's not Decoy Octopus though, love that guy and his many appearances (pun intended) in the game. And I do love both Deadman and Cliff. Fragile is just. I love her so much.

First impression

Being highly confused and intrigued about the world, that's what most of my attention was on during her introduction. Loved the spiky jacket!!! And I do love her umbrella, it's such a fun shape and. texture? I don't think they ever said what it's made of but it looks transparent and reflective and solid all at the same time? It's a really cool design. I like that she's a pretty mysterious character for a while and you know that she's There somewhere but not what she wants with Sam or overall.

Impression now

She seems pretty reserved and polite, but in a way that feels genuine. She respects people, even if they don't always respect her back, but she also doesn't seem the type to just take people's shit. Maybe she has been for a bit after people started labeling her as a terrorist, I feel like there was a lot of self-pity there that was well earned, she basically gave up her life for people who she thought would never know or appreciate it. I think her meeting Sam helped her a lot with processing all of that, and the fact that he let everyone know about what really went down must have been such a shock and relief, even if she didn't show it that much. I really like how happy she is about eating cryptobiots and offering them to Sam, and I love when he eventually takes one.

Also about Kojima's writing of women and in general, I think they are like fine wine, as in is better each year (the writing of women was a pretty shitty wine to start with though. magically got good in ds, and I genuinely wonder why, it hasn't been that long since v). She doesn't fall into the mother/sister/love interest pitfall a lot of his female characters do. I do love Amelie!! I do love Mama!!! Motherhood and family are very important themes of ds, but with the context of his previous games Fragile feels like breaking the pattern, which is great!! Decpite the running in her underwear in the rain bit, the way she's is written is kind of the polar opposite of Quiet. In terms of how society perceives bodies of older women its considered unsexy and whatnot, and the aftermath of what happened to her makes her hide her body as opposed to wearing a bikini. But it doesn't exactly feel like it's out of shame, even though it was definitely meant to be a humiliation when Higgs did it, it feels like Fragile still has so much dignity to her. I like that she is conflicted about her sacrifice and wishes she hadn't done it. Makes her feel very raw and real. It made me happy that the state of her body wasn't treated weirdly by anyone around her, and I get that it's because of the nature of the universe and that a lot of people must be affected by timefall all the time, but it still made me happy!!

Favorite moment

The forehead touch and conversation as she sent Sam to rescue Amelie, and the talk near the lake after she and Sam get rid of the bomb. When her and Sam are on the ship too, it was a quiet nice moment. I like when she pronounces fragile weirdly.

Idea for a story

I had a silly thing in mind where a bunch of characters ask Sam on a date to shoot their shot, and he ends up rejecting all of them, Fragile included albeit with the implications that it's sort of reciprocated but also things are complicated, and they both are fine with where they stand. I'll be honest, I thought I didn't really like any ships with Sam, but I really like his dynamic with Fragile, romantic or not.

I would've loved to think up something cool about the time she and Higgs worked together. We get a glimpse of Higgs' perspective on their relationship during that time, but very little of hers, only the stuff that's already clouded with her desire for revenge and not how she really felt at the time.

Unpopular opinion

Oh man, I haven't really seen enough ds takes to know what's considered unpopular.

Favorite relationship

Her and Sam. I really liked how respectful she was about his phobia, with everyone else there were points where they obviously forgot about it or used it for intimidation, and I kind of hated that since I do share it to some extent. She also kind of seemed to do that a few times, like when she was telling him about her history with Higgs, but even then she still kept her distance in a way that didn't feel the same as with other characters. I really liked that about her. Her and Higgs also. And I do think she's at least sort of friends with the rest of the main guys, the scenes of them sending Sam off and then rescuing him are so, so good.

Favorite headcanon

Ahh I don't think I have anything. I've read very few death stranding fics but there was this short one I really like where Fragile travels with Sam on bikes for a bit and they race. She also uses his shower a bunch and leaves or takes stuff around his rooms in it, I liked that idea a lot. It's the casual intimacy of something small, I feel like they understand each other in their love for solitude, so they can be alone together and be content with it.

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

TBOSAS Thoughts (Movie Edition)

Generally, I really liked the movie and had a good time watching it. I'm just going to put a few of my thoughts as they come to me, so hopefully I can remember most of it. Spoilers for the movie under the cut!

Lucky Flickerman was so funny, and his casting was great. "These drones are not very good." Loved him.

I really like how much easier it was to tell the tributes apart, and how they all had their moments. Coral was sort of the 'villain' in the arena but her line at the end broke my heart. And I like how we knew all of their names.

On the topic of the arena, I don't really like how theatrical the Games are in comparison to the book. They're supposed to be primitive and brutal. The tributes and the viewers are supposed to be not quite sure what to do with themselves. Was there a bloodbath in the book? Because the one in the movie felt a little to advanced for the 10th Games.

Maybe I'm misremembering, but didn't it come down to Lucy Gray and Reaper? Why was Coral in the final two? I like Coral but why make the change?

Reaper and the flag. I would have left the theater if they left that out. So glad I didn't have to do that.

Despite the lack of cannons and the tributes' faces in the sky, it was still really easy to keep track of who was left in the arena. That was convenient.

They kept Gaul's "humanity undressed" monologue in, almost exactly how it is in the book. I appreciated that.

However, they did not keep the line about the tributes being sent to a veterinarian after the arena bombing. I did not appreciate that.

I feel like Lucy Gray didn't fight as much in the movie as she does in the book? And the whole 'get her out' chant was a movie invention, right? I feel like her victory was attributed too much to Snow's efforts than to her own intelligence, and I'm a little disappointed we missed out on that.

Arachne's death was completely bloodless. Maybe they were trying to keep the rating PG-13 but it just did not hit the same.

Lamina!! Her mercy killing Marcus, staying on her beam. I like her. I'm glad she had her moment.

I loved the music. Lucy Gray has the perfect voice for this, and I'm glad they utilized it so much.

Small detail but I loved that the Peacekeeper uniforms were gray. Snow has a line in Mockingjay like "nothing says perfection quite like white," which maybe implies he was the one who suggested that Peacekeepers wear white? Love that.

It was also really interesting to see the other details that shaped the Games we know. The sponsor gifts, Snow's ideas on betting, interviews, mentors, etc. It was cool to see all that play out.

The snakes were cool to see in the arena.

Sejanus. Ouch. That hurt, and I definitely felt contempt for Snow there.

Speaking of Sejanus, why did they change his involvement in the rebel plot? In the book, he knew about the weapons, but they made him seem more pure in the movie. Maybe to make Snow's betrayal more pronounced?

I think they took out a lot of Snow's worst qualities - his prejudice against people from the districts was barely there, his possessiveness over Lucy Gray was only obvious at the end, and his contempt for everyone was pretty glossed over. Overall, he comes off as more sympathetic here than in the book.

However, I did really like his final moment in the woods when he's shooting the gun. That paranoia and self-serving worldview was very clear.

Dr. Gaul was perfectly creepy. It was so interesting to see her influence on Snow.

Clemensia just disappeared after the snakes :(

I would have liked to see more political philosophy, but I understand why they didn't touch on that very much. It's a long movie.

They didn't include "the show's not over until the Mockingjay sings." Missed opportunity.

Overall, I liked the movie and thought it was a faithful adaptation. They really kept a lot in there. I want to watch it again lol.

Have you watched TBOSAS? What did you think?

[julietasgf]

hey its the plinth family anon! i really enjoyed and appreciated your long answers to my questions! I guess only Suzanne knows why on earth Ma stayed with Strabo... I am curious about whether Ma's parents and siblings would have taken her in if she had left Strabo though. In the book, she had one sister who still kept in touch with her so I wonder if that sister would have been willing to take her in if she had left Strabo? Tbh I'd be pretty confused if Ma's parents and siblings didn't want to take her in if she left Strabo because she may have married a scumbag but by leaving him, at least she kinda sees the light and is escaping him? why wouldn't her family want to help her then? I'm so curious about your hcs for how Ma and Strabo met and why Ma is so loyal/in love with him! you mentioned sejanus and coriolanus and keeping the cycle going, so does this mean you hc Ma and Strabo to have met and befriended each other when one of them was going through a hard time? seeing Ma trying to ignore all of Strabo's wrongdoings is making me think of this tiktok i saw where it said something like "you don't have to lie to women, if she likes you enough she'll lie to herself"...it's kinda mind-boggling to me how tightly Ma is clinging onto Strabo, like did this man save her from certain death when they were younger or something???

hello anon!! I'm so glad you appreciated the long answers bc I'm too talkative and if you let me, I'll talk endlessly about this stuff, I actually have to look back and be like "okay, now I'm talking too much, let's stop here" 😭 but I saw that it got accidentally sent your other thoughts, so I'm going to answer both in only this post, I hope that's okay by you :D

there's some stuff in the book that makes me feel like suzanne collins is the type of writer to make the whole background story of side characters, but not show them bc they're unnecessary story wise, you can't tell me she doesn't know exactly what the hell is the plinth backstory in D2 (I think she did it but I just can't prove it....)

I hardly think her family (except, maybe, the sister that still talks to her) would take her in, imo. D2 seem like a district that it's full of proud people, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but strabo being a dick is not the worst part of this marriage: is that he betrayed the whole district. the plinths are despised back in two. I think ma's family didn't like him from the start, but he was not the worst; he was the worst when he betrayed everyone, and when she chose to not leave him, she made her choice of who her loyalty lays with. it's with him, not with them. and besides, taking back a plinth (even if it's an ex-plinth) and welcoming her in their home would definitely not be seen with good eyes.

(maybe it's a bit of self-projecting, but where I live, it's much more common for the woman to still keep in contact and close with her family, not the man; I grew up with my cousins from my mother's side and I hardly know anyone from my father's side. siding with your husband in a situation like this would be seen as a BIG offense, something that's very much unforgivable. I could see that being the case)

now, from now on, there's a lot of my personal headcanons and thoughts bc I'm OBSESSED with the plinths and their life in D2:

OKAY SO there's a very, very small and discreet line on the ma plinth study I wrote that goes like: "vesta had dreams, even if her father rolled his eyes at most of them." I actually plan to write something from strabo's pov and explore more about this, but basically, I think ma plinth had a not very good relationship with her parents, and most of all, with her father (the cycle keeps on cycling). I think her family was overprotective and she felt suffocated (I think she was the youngest, the baby sibling, and this just made everything much worse). now, I have exactly in my mind how I think they met: ma plinth went with her father to the city center, and her father was searching for a gun to buy to leave at home as a way to protect the family. the plinths didn't have an industry yet; it was little more than a small thing, where they built some modest models to sell. strabo was there. he was talking to her father, and then turned to her and asked if she would like anything. her father made a comment diminishing her, saying that she was too dense to understand about guns, and poor ma was so embarassed even though used to it because her father always do that kind of thing, but to her surprise, strabo plinth didn't laugh. he looked at her father very seriously and said that she looked smart enough to understand about it, and if someone has hands, that person can shoot well.

he was the first person to actually defend her in front of her father from these kind of "jokes" and comments. not even her sisters or her own mother had done that before, all too terrified to say something. and that was enough.

about strabo and his siblings: fucked up shit happened. let's go about my personal hcs about him and his family: he's the only son of his father and his mother, but his mother died and his father married again when he was around 5 or 6. his father and his stepmother had two other kids. he never had a good relationship with his stepmother and he resents his father very much for marrying shortly after the death of his mother (omg cinderella hiiii). strabo was the eldest, he had to basically raise his half-siblings as his father was always at their small industry and his stepmother worked for endless hours. he learned to shoot from a young age to know how to protect them. he didn't hate his half-siblings, but he was tired of having to carry all the responsability on his shoulders, especially when they still had a loving mother while he didn't. it seemed so unfair.

(the sad part is that his half-siblings did look up to him. they loved him. they saw him as an example.)

his father got sick when he was a teen and he started to work hard on their small factory. and strabo has a lot of flaws, but let me tell you something: that man works hard. he worked enough to make their small shop rather famous in D2, and worked enough to pay for everything his father needed to while sick. his half-siblings never were interested in the industry, and neither was his stepmother, so when his father died when strabo was in his late teens, he was pissed off that his stepmother wanted to inherit the factory. they never worked a single day on it while he kept it going on. his half-siblings tried to reason with him, but he was just so angry, and a lot of hurtful things were said. in the end, strabo got the factory, but he left home and never came back. he said things that were too cruel to his half-siblings, the kind of thing that they could never really forgive.

ma is very family-oriented and couldn't really understand why strabo resented his half-siblings so much (specially because she also had family issues, being close with her sisters was what kept her going on), but she tries to have empathy with it, knowing people react in different ways to different things. I can totally see her one day trying to bring the subject of in-laws and strabo just looking so annoyed and resented that she knows that there's bad blood involved.

(it's so ironic to me that she didn't understand how he was so resented with his half-siblings, but in the future, her own sisters were as resented with her)

strabo is genuinely so interesting, I really wish to know what went through his mind, or just know more from his canon backstory, what made him make the choices he made. he's ruthless and cold, he sold guns to people that hated his guts and hated where he's from. he didn't betray a single person, he betrayed his whole PEOPLE. but he seems to care about ma and sejanus to a certain level, in his twisted way. he moved to the capitol thinking about giving them a better life, and still, he's hated by his own son, the one he thought he was protecting by moving to the capitol. ouch.

[shadowscrybe]

Rayven's Revenge- Chapter 7

Summary: Rayven is the younger sister of Rhysand in the Night Court. She was banished 64 years ago for the murder of her sister. This is the story of Rayven earning her place in Prythian and finding out what it means to be family. We all know how her story ends...but how did she get there? I don't want to forget the demon princess with bat wings. Do you?

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: none-typical canon content

A/N: Oh??? Not chapter 7 and 8??? That's crazy...

I should run. 

As soon as Rayven stepped off the first step of the house Rahne finished the stride into her living room. 

She paced the room speaking aloud to her shadow. 

“Run, right?” She asked. “We should definitely run.”

Run, Rahne said back to her unsure. If she had eyes, they'd be narrowed. 

“Why wouldn't we run? He wasn't supposed to find out like-”

Rayven about faced. 

“How the fuck does he know?”

Another turn. 

“The boys would never tell him.”

Turn.

“We double checked everything,” She glanced at Rahne following her paces. 

No tails, she said. Offended that Rayven would ever question her abilities. 

“Then how-”

“Because you are foolish.” 

She turned one more time to see her brother. 

Rhys had the beautiful violet eyes of their mother, as every preening female loved to remind him, as if he needed more of an ego boost. Flecked with stars, they’d say. They shared the dark hair, tan skin, Illyrian wings, but her eyes were just a cobalt blue that seemed to impress no one. Another short fall of the demon princess. 

Those starry eyes looked into hers alit with distress. 

He was a brilliant masker. He held the resolve of a high stakes card player, but she was his sister. She could see right through him the way he saw through her. 

He was scared. And that scared her more than anything. 

“He’s going to kill me.”

Rhys shook his head. “Death would be too simple for him.”

He could have spoken all of this from Velaris. There is only reason the Highlord would allow him to come after her. 

“He sent you here to banish me for good.” She pulled the tie out of the braid Cassian gave her. 

“Too simple,” he said again. “He sent me to bring you home.” 

Her head snapped back up to his face before she could consider hiding her surprise. Rhys was not attempting a joke. 

“He... wants me back in Velaris?”

He swallowed and shifted his eyes around her makeshift home. “He said you have proven yourself worthy of his Court and are to report to his office in the morning.” 

She unweaved the strands and sat on the low table in the main room. The Highlord was satisfied with her actions. Maybe he was finally ready to forgive her. She hadn't realized a smile curled up her lips until Rhys snapped. 

“Wake up, Rayven. This is not a welcome home. This is a sentence.”

“But I secured the alliance with Spring, surely he appreciates the initiative. I'm guaranteed to come back to court!”

“No,” he bristled. “You’ve guaranteed you never will.”

“I got a command shift in Spring! The Highlord said he was sending Illyrian forces. I run Ironcrest. Cass and Devlon still get their shifts, I just added me on the tail end.” Rayven started pacing again as if informing Rhys of her intentions is the same as convincing the Highlord. “We can change his mind. We can show him-”

“Show him what exactly? Something he's had centuries to figure out? Think. You went behind his back and made him look a fool. You've barely thought this through.”

She had thought it through for months actually. Rahne spied for weeks over the Highlord’s communications to get the date, intercept, and get in that room before he could send someone else. 

He saw how his words sent her into criticism. “We are never going to change his mind. We need to plant seeds now to reap when we take over.”

“That's what I was trying to do! It's border watch. This is the least progressive thing I could win for us. I thought you, of all people, would understand that.”

He looked at her like she was stupid. Her fire pricked her skin. Rahne spun around their feet. Tears threatened to spill over her cheeks. Real tears this time. 

“You put a target on your back.” Rhys stepped closer to her and cupped her face with both hands. “We do not win this war with a single sly maneuver.” 

The gentle touch sent the tears loose. She recoiled from him. She needed to think about her next steps. 

“Today wasn't supposed to go like this,” he said softly. “We wanted to take you out after to celebrate.”

“Today never goes right.” She said to him in her house, but was looking at the child crying in the snow begging for help. Help she was never going to get. Rayven couldn't help her then and she couldn't help her now. She made her fire evaporate the liquid spilling over her cheeks.  

“I thought you were his most powerful heir," She mocked the voice of the Highlord. “Surely he can be persuaded to see how this benefits the whole court.” 

“I cannot fix this.” He turned to the door he didn't need. “We need to go.” 

“And if I say no?” She lifted her chin. Rhys wouldn't drag her back to Velaris, but would he let her escape?

He didn't turn back to his sister. “Then he will make us come after you.”

Rahne stalled her spinning. 

“You brought the bastards,” she growled. 

He flung the door open and strode out. Reluctantly, she stomped after him. 

Rayven took a long look around the cell she had grown to love. Memorizing the layout of the rooms, the clothes she had thrown about, the dishes she left on the counter. She inhaled the scent that was entirely hers and closed the door behind her. 

The bastards were standing with their arms crossed. Cassian said he wasn't going to rip on her, but when she saw his sorrowful face she wished he would. 

Rhys took Cassian’s arm and winnowed to Velaris. 

Rayven was left staring into the golden eyes of the Shadowsinger. His hands flexed at his side like he was fighting the urge to strangle her. 

“You lied to me,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“Would you have let me go had I been honest?” His shadows swirled. “Didn't think so.” Rahne started expanding to cloak her. 

“Can you really not see it?” His shadows did the same. 

She arched an eyebrow at him. 

“The game we have to play.” And then he was gone too. 

She debated escape. She could be in Autumn just as easily as Velaris, but Azriel left her as the last knowing she had no choice. The Highlord would punish them if she didn't go. 

They were letting her say goodbye. 

With a lingering glance at her bat’s nest, Rayven prayed to the Mother that it wouldn't be the last.