#I don't have their range but I'm not a terrible singer

[acidloe]

As a pre-t trans fan of TAD I'm thinking how funny it would be if I recorded myself singing Ms Hyland's half of a duet, then when the t kicks in record Mr Batey's half and smush them together

[marwolaeth-76]

Hii!!

Can I request a one-shot with veneer and velvet from trolls 3 x fem reader, Where the reader is their childhood bestie and she bails both of them from jail and they’re both like hella whiny and complaining to the reader how bad jail was and the reader just teases them about it!

(It’s fine if you can’t do it!) 💗

Hi!! Thank you for your request! I enjoyed writing this, I hope it satisfies your request!🩷

Velvet & Veneer x fem!reader release from prison

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You are a childhood friend of the star twins. You grew up in the same suburb as them. In the next house, so you were neighbors. Going to the same school, and how to say, making up a small company of the 3 of you, you became very attached to these two blockheads. After Velvet expressed the idea that she wanted to become famous, you supported her, everything was going well, until the moment you found out that they want to build a career as singers! You, like no one else, knew very well that they sang disgustingly. But, Veneer convinced you that they will practice, and everything will work out. Seeing their breathtaking performances on stage and their performance, you did not believe them, and decided to break off your friendship with them, although it hurt you. You heard their songs from literally every teapot, you were pretty tired of it. And so, after a disastrous performance, after the terrible secret of their popularity became known to all Mount Rageons, the twins were taken into custody. Of course, the first couple of days in prison weren’t so bad, at least for Veneer... as a result, you received a call on your phone, it’s surprising that Velvet called you and not her parents. Damn it, it was you who paid the deposit for them too. “Ugh! prison is just disgusting! They literally fed us slop and gave us some rags, calling them clothes! They treated me like I was some kind of animal in a cage without freedom!“ Velvet's screams rang loudly as the girl actively gesticulated and recounted all the details of her imprisonment with disgust. Veneer, in turn, walked quietly, saying nothing, only sighing occasionally. “It’s all your fault!” - After these words, Velvet slapped Veneer in the face and continued “Who asked you to say anything at all?! I don't think I asked! Because of you, we lost everything! Fame, money, fans, our influence! Are you satisfied now? Mister Justice!?“ Her screams turn almost into hysterical screams, Veneer accepts the slap in the face, but then slowly frowns the more she thinks. "so what? all this was not ours, it was not our merits and we got what we deserved. everything was your plan from the beginning, I initially thought it was terrible." After these words, one would think that Velvet would attack and strangle her brother, but then you intervened in the conversation. “Well Vel, but now you know what it was like for Floyd when you kept him in the bank, absolutely the same as you in prison, maybe even worse... you didn’t have to constantly listen to two huge idiots)” You nodded approvingly to Veneer, trying to hide your little giggles, seeing how Veneer looks away in shame and Velvet blushes with anger, you realize that you really missed these two upstarts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm ashamed that it didn't wrote out as much as I wanted😢

[ever-eilish]

Could you do Billie Eilish asking r out

A (not so) bad day

billie eilish x fem! reader

a day that is supposed to be horrible takes unexpected turns, after you accidentally bump into a certain singer

author's notes: thank you so much for requesting, I really appreciate it! sorry if this is not what you wanted, I really hope you like it though! once again, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes, enjoy❤️

warnings: a bit of cursing, but mostly fluff

Chaotic. That was the only way to define today. You know that saying that 'nothing is so bad that it cant get worse'? So, that saying has proven true today.

I woke up 30 minutes late, spilled the coffee in my white clothes, missed the bus, and now I'm here, standing in front of the bland beige door, waiting for my boss to decide to call me to give me some more of his scolding.

Bad luck. That's the only word that can describe my day, or rather, my week.

Everything that could go wrong, did;

I'm in the midst of a series of catastrophic events ranging from the simplest, like knocking my butter breakfast bread to the floor — with the butter-covered part facing down, of course — to the more serious, like being threatened with losing my job by my annoying, weird boss.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I see the door in front of me open and the middle-aged man walk out of the room - which looks more like a chain saddle.

"Well, well, it looks like you've decided to be late again?" the wretch says.

As if I'd choose to miss my bus, spill coffee on my white blouse, and wake up late.

"That way I'll have no option but to fire you," he repeats the same words he's been saying to me for so long.

Son of a bitch.

"Sir, please! I promise it won't happen again, I love my job!" I lied.

"I'm sorry, but you're officially fired," he announces, as if announcing me as an Oscar winner. I take a deep breath, count to a thousand, take another deep breath and, with all the calmness in the world, say: "FUCK YOU!" I throw my badge on the floor, and walk towards the office door, ignoring all the crooked looks directed at me, and leave that musty-smelling place.

I didn't even like it there!

My God, how am I going to pay my bills? Fuck that old cuckold.

Fuck that old-man

Oh my God, I'm going to have to sell my computer.

I hated my. co-workers anyway.

My God, my computer.

All thoughts were running. through my head in a whirlwind when suddenly I bump into someone in front of me and fall to the ground.

THAT'S ALL I NEEDED!

Without even noticing who it was, I quickly stand up muttering something like, 'I'm sorry'; and I offer my hand to the stranger sitting on the floor.

And it is at that moment that, with my hand outstretched, I begin to notice the victim of my lack of attention.

The stranger wore a black blouse with white stripes — or white with black stripes - and black shorts. Her beautiful hair had the roots dyed red, while the rest was dark brown.

I could have sworn I knew her from somewhere.

It's very sudden when I feel her warm touch on my hand - which remained stretched - and I feel the girl partially throw her weight on me to get up.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I should be more careful" she says, with an embarrassed smile.

"I'm the one who apologizes! I've been walking around thinking about nothing and ! ended up bumping into you" I say,

scratching the back of my neck.

"Are you okay? You hit it really hard against the floor" was only when the girl tells me that I notice my throbbing hip.

"I'm great!" I lied knowing full well that the last thing I was in right now was 'great'. "Hm, so, you live here?" the stranger says, acting as if she wants to continue a conversation.

I don't have anything better to do, after all, why not talk?

"No! I live in my house," say, internally cursing myself for the terrible attempt at a joke.

Anyway, she laughed, and I felt my. embarrassment soon go away when I heard the good sound of that laughter.

"Oh got it, you're the funny type, then?"

she asks me, clearly joking.

"That's what they say"

We stare at each other for a while when very quietly, I hear the click of a camera. The girl seems to hear the same thing as I do, when she suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me nto the convenience store next to us.

What the fuck is going on?

She pulls me further into the store and 'hides' behind a food rack.

Holy shit, is she being followed?

My God, could it be that she's a serial killer and I recognized her because of that?

Holy shit, I'm too young to die.

What if...

I am interrupted from my mental breakdown at the sound of his voice.

"Hm, I'm sorry about that. You know how it is, right? Paparazzi are everywhere."

My God, I was right.

She's a serial killer and I'm her next victim. "Are you going to kill me?" my eyes widen as I ask.

"What?" she says to me, visibly confused, "my. name is Billie! I'm a singer."

I let myself take a deep breath when I hear what Billie tells me. Well, at least I won't die today.

"Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you, and I wanted to meet you again" she says, looking deep into my eyes "what do you think about going to a coffee shop with me one of these days?"

Is she asking me out on a date?

"Like a date?"

"Yes!"

"I want to!" I reply promptly, and watch as she rummages through her purse for a pen.

"Here!" She finally finds a blue fine-tipped pen, pulls out my hand, and writes something.

Before I can process what was happening, I feel a small kiss being left on my cheek and watch her walk out of the store with her head down.

When I look into my hand, I read:

"Cafeteria 221B, Baker Street;

03/22, at 9:00 pm.

See ya<3"

Maybe today wasn't such a bad day after all.

[glitterguts13]

Caelus giving birth in Penacony Dreamscape but he can’t come out of the dream pool for error reasons and Sunday is there helping him while Robin is with tech support.

This wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to even be possible. The Dreamscape had failsafe procedures in place in order to prevent this exact thing from happening, and yet, Sunday is questioning everything.

"Robin is speaking with-" The scream that tears from Caelus causes Sunday's wings to flutter, nervousness overtaking his sensibility.

"The pain you're feeling isn't real-"

"What the fuck did you just say?" dealing with the Family was less taxing than this situation, and Sunday can't even begin to trace back the steps that lead him here.

Something vibrates in his pocket, and Sunday pulls his phone out, hitting the answer button and placing it nearby on speaker.

"They're doing their best to fix the error, but it's still going to be a few hours-" a panic-stricken Robin pops up on the screen, looking flustered and pale.

"Hours!?" Caelus cries out, hands cupping his heaving belly.

"I'm so sorry...We have medics monitoring your condition within the Dream Pool. You and the baby are doing fine, all vitals are within the normal range. There is just...one issue."

Swallowing thickly, Sunday smooths out his jacket, trying not to look Caelus in the eyes.

"Issue? What issue."

"There seems to be...well, we don't really know how it's happening, but..."

"Robin, speak clearly, we haven't the time for rambling." the singer takes in a deep breath, steadying herself.

"Because his consciousness is still within the Dreamscape, the baby...won't come out. It's simply stalled its progress as if it's waiting for Caelus to wake up. We think it's because if he were to give "birth" in the DreamScape, there wouldn't be a "real" baby, so his body doesn't know what to do-"

Another scream and Sunday feels bile creeping up the back of his throat.

"At the very least get one of his companions to come here and...deal with this."

"They aren't in the DreamScape at the moment, and we aren't allowing anyone to enter until the issue is resolved. You need to stay with him Sunday."

"Me?! Robin, honestly, send someone here who has some medical knowledge, a medic, a healer, I don't care who, just someone!"

"Sunday, as the Oak Family head, you need to be the one to handle this. If something happens to Caelus while in the DreamScape...you know how terrible that would reflect on the Family."

Silence paces between them for a moment before Sunday snatches his phone up.

"Call me the second this issue is resolved." hanging up, he removess his gloves and jacket, folding them neatly to the side before kneeling in front of the Trailblazer.

"What can I do for you?" pregnancy, birth, infants...none of it was within his realm of knowledge, and he desperately didn't want to learn now.

"Just...stay," Caelus pants, lip quivering as he rubs circles over his contracting belly, "I don't...want to be alone."

"Very well," Sunday sits, steadying his nerves, "I shall stay."

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Smells Like Steady Vocals and Perfect Pitch

Part 1.

I wrote this on April 5th, 2024 in a fit of rage/inspiration. I wasn't going to post it but I've decided to anyway because I'd like to give a little perspective about why Jimin, out of all the members of BTS, is popular in the US, and why I think he has amazing potential as a solo artist if he's given the right team and tools.

*******

Today is the 30th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, so it feels like a sign from the heavens that it's time to write a post I've been composing in my head for months.

So often when I'm on Twitter/X looking for information about Jimin, I see one nasty comment after another downplaying his singing, his artistry, and his talent in general. The phrase repeated the absolute most by the fandom of a particular member is that the reason HYBE invests in one above all the others is because he has the most stable singing voice. And perfect pitch. And the perfect tone for pop music.

Frankly, I get so sick of reading those comments, but I also have to laugh, because it shows such a fundamental misunderstanding of what appeals to music fans in the US/Western countries.

If you open Spotify right now and search for Nirvana, you will see 31.1 million monthly listeners! As a reminder, their last album was released 30 years ago and they only put out 3 major label albums over a 3 year period. Meanwhile, BTS has 28.6 monthly listeners and has a discography a mile long and a career spanning more than 10 years.

Do you honestly think that Nirvana has enjoyed so much popularity over the years because Kurt Cobain had perfect pitch and could sing live? Yeah, no.

I remember where I was the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it, but the song held a strange grip on me. It was sooo different than all the other popular music at the time, even in the alternative scene. It wasn't quite punk, wasn't quite heavy metal. The song was angry and raw, but also oddly charming. But mostly, it was refreshingly different from all the highly produced music that was on radio stations' rotations at the time. Don't believe me? Here's a link to the Billboard Top 100 on the week "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was initially released:

Check out the list and tell me how many of these songs you know. Probably a few, but not many have withstood the test of time (shout out to 3 a.m. Eternal by The KLF, though. That was a fun song).

This was the #1 song that week:

Didn't like it then. Don't like it now.

Now compare that to Smells Like Teen Spirit:

Look at the Billboard list again. Lots R&B (love), dance tracks, a smattering of college radio/alternative tunes, and a whole lot of what we would call easy listening/adult contemporary music. A snooze fest. Nirvana came along at the right time when the American music audience was in desperate need of something more authentic and not so over produced.

Sorry for this long-winded pop music history lesson. Believe it or not, I have a point to make. Americans like a huge range of music styles (as can be seen on the current Billboard charts). We get bored easily. We don't demand a steady voice or perfect pitch. What we want is something new. Something innovative. Something authentic. The biggest western pop stars who have enjoyed long careers in North America know that they must push boundaries and release new, unexpected material in order to stay relevant.

Be it BTS' English trilogy, songs that blatantly emulate American pop singers, or the conveyor belt of 2 minute TikTok-ready tunes sung by Korean girls, so far it doesn't seem like we should expect anything terribly innovative or cutting edge now that Big Hit has morphed into HYBE with its many labels/subsidiaries. Fickle American audiences will move on quickly, in my humble opinion.

One last thing. The US is a huge country with very diverse cultures based upon geographical location. Gender, age, ethnicity, urban vs. rural, and region of the US all influence what people are listening to. What's popular in Atlanta isn't necessarily popular in Salt Lake City, for example. Americans are not a homogenous group and neither is our taste in music.

[cyybrzz]

To anyone who sees this and does musical theater...

I need advice... again. this time it's a theater thing for all my musical theater performers out there who wanna help a girl out 😔🙏

🔮 I'm having an internal crisis.

So i've been into musicals for FOREVER and I love singing songs at karaoke and getting into character and stuff whatever THE POINT IS recently i've been considering actually trying out for a musical?? the last time i didn't theater was elementary school if that counts and i've never been apart of a choir so no i can't read sheet music or know what it means sos the closest i've gotten is orchestra. I'm just nervous because i've never done THEATER before and i would have no idea how to prepare and i feel like id make myself look stupid at any auditions if i did; now im here on tumblr again asking for advice!!

🔮 *googles how to get my voice to work*

i don't think i'm a BAD singer but i'm not anything out of this world, i think i'm anywhere from an alto to a mezzo-soprano?? (my most comfortable songs to sing are JD's songs from heathers or ngrom from waitress, i can also sing from like deja vu to 505 if that helps to any music nerds anywhere! thanks) anyway i don't even know my voice range and whether im a good singer; also i think that 99% of the time im singing with my head voice and idk how to belt or sing with chest voice so if anyone has any vocal advice on how to sing better and warmup my voice for stuff like this it'd be greatly appreciated i'm literally clueless when it comes to singing so if you think any piece of advice is stupid and common knowledge it's probably not for me and i'll gladly take it

🔮 fake it til you make it??

I DONT KNOW IF IM A GOOD ACTRESS EITHER UGH i don't really get stage fright bc i do multiple sports/activities that require me being in front of an audience i just don't want to look stupid 😓💔 I can memorize lines and stuff like that it's just the performance aspect in worried about so if anyone has tips on how to scope out my acting ability or how to improve it reach out please i #needthat

🔮 auditions exist... unfortunately

uhm how do auditions work bc i don't wanna embarrass myself if i even decide to go for it bc what if i make a fool of myself and ill have to fall off the face of the earth and no one will be able to see me again? what if i mess up at auditions and they think im terrible? what if i don't mess up and they still think im terrible? it's so scary as a newbie someone please sos

🔮 do i even go for it?

with all these issues and roadblocks do i even try to go for it... i have a friend that does theater and i'm scared they'll judge me if i mention trying out for it 😭 the urge to try theater again (kinda) has been so strong lately and me being watching musicals and singing songs doesn't help! please be brutally honest i need it, toodles!

[torveiglyart]

The more I think about my hobbies and achievements (or lack thereof), the weirder I realize my life is. I had never really thought about some of these things until as of recent, specifically when someone introduced to another as "cool". Like what.

First things first that I've talked about on here is I'm an oboe player. Which is already a kind of "different" instrument to play. And, actually, I've been third chair in the All-District wind ensemble for grades 11-12. So there's that.

Another thing I tend to tell people /if prompted/ is I'm a nationally recognized Scottish Highland dancer. I placed third in the southeast regionals and qualified to perform in Las Vegas along with everyone else who qualified across the country. This one is kinda like my "fun fact" during ice breakers 'cause it's something I know won't be repeated.

I'm a digital artist, as you all know, but I also do traditional art often. A few of my paintings in my portfolio helped me score a spot in NCSU's ID program. Maybe one day I'll scan them and post here.

I'm a singer. This one goes multiple ways as in: HS choir, church choir, musical theatre, and bands. I just like singing and got blessed with a nice voice... I think.

I can bake and decorate very well. As in won a cookie decorating contest at the NC State Fair well. That was a good year for me :). But it's also the perfect ganache every time kind of good. I guess the same can be said about cooking given no meal I've made has gone wrong or tasted bad. I seriously hope it stays that way.

This next one only partially counts because while I'm not /fluent/ by any means, I can somewhat comfortably hold a conversation in a few languages. French, Spanish, Japanese, and, strangely enough, Swahili, are languages I've worked on since uhhhh... I don't know at this point. And I've since added Scottish Gaelic to that list to work on. Languages just fascinate me and I plan to travel A LOT when I get the money to do so.

I do archery in my free time. Often enough I have my own bow and arrows. It’s fun. And last time I went to an actual range I never missed a target which I’m totally bragging here but it’s also just a fun activity to get anger out, you know?

Back to the musical theatre thing, I actually was called back for an audition to enroll at UNCSA, but did not make it. And back in freshman year, I did this whole Society Performers multi-class thing, but cut it short to work on my studies. So while I probably could have gone into theatrics, I don't think that would have been the best choice for me.

An going further back to the instruments, I can also play piano, ukulele, and clarinet, but lessons are those were far fewer than oboe.

Time for the weirder stuff.

I definitely have ADHD, and so does my dad, but we're both undiagnosed so let's just not go there.

I can't whistle or roll my tongue. People always seem really surprised by this one but it's not like I'm in a tiny percentage with that one.

I'm nearsighted in one eye and far sighted in the other, and I also only require one contact lense/prescription. Actually let's call this the whacky section.

I'm allergic to celery. Yes, celery. And only that. Not pollen, not pets, not dust, not even ragweed, but celery. And only when it's raw. Cooked in a dish? Fine. Raw in a salad? Cotton-mouthed and itchy. Not terribly sad about it though.

I can't ride a bike. Like, I know how to in theory, but I just never had a bike growing up. My older sister's always had a flat tire, and by the time my younger brother got one, I was too big to ride it. So I scooter instead :).

I have perfect pitch, as in I hear a pitch, and can tell you the note it is, and can tell you what key a song is originally in and sing it. I would get in trouble a lot as a kid for "picking a fight" with my siblings by telling them, "it actually goes like this," and then changing the key they were singing in. While many find this cool or helpful, unless you're a music student or something, it's actually annoying. The car radio is always a few microtones sharp and there's nothing I can do to make it in tune. My choir teacher would also have me sing the starting pitch for songs, no tuner, which was nerve-wracking.

WOW this was just me ranting (bragging) lol, sorry about that, but hey! Now you know more about me!

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to ask! Or, y'know, do the whole asks thing. I think I changed the icon for that but I'm not sure.

[alinalioness]

Professor Arnold's map FINAL:Everyone is at home.

In the house of heroes.

The heroes sat sadly in the living room and could do nothing when sixteen friends had already disappeared.

Balan:(Sad) This is terrible. The box is gone, the inhabitants are gone, and now Alina, Tricky and the pets are gone.

Pinkie Pie:(Sad) Not a single piece of news about them.

Dusk Butterfly starts whimpering from this, that Dynamic Dolphin put her hand on her shoulder. Suddenly someone rang the doorbell and Happy Blaster went to the door.

Happy Blaster:(Sad) I'll open the door.

When he opened the door, he did not notice that Alina, Tricky, pets and inhabitants were standing in front.

Attilio:What's wrong, buddy?

Happy Blaster:(Sad) That... our friends are missing.

Tricky:But we're back.

Happy Blaster:Yes, I see... (He saw his friends in shock) Is that... you?

Alina:It's us.

Happy Blaster:Uh... how? (Happily) Guys! Our people are back!

Others:(In shock) Are they back?

When the others came out of the living room, they were shocked to see their missing friends.

Alina:Hi.

Others:(Happily) You're back!

At first, costumes and Negabosses were embraced by Alina, Pets, Tricky and the inhabitants. Then Balan, Lance, Leo, Emma, the girls and the ponies. and then everything at once.

Dusk Butterfly:(Happily) How we've missed you.

Cristine:Where have you been for so long?

Sparkle:We have been looking for you for so long.

Alina:It's a long story, but we can tell you.

Suddenly, someone rang the doorbell and the heroes were released from their embrace. When they opened, they saw the postman holding the box.

Postman:Hello, this is for you. (The heroes took the box) Sign it. (The heroes were at a loss when they signed the documents) Goodbye.

When he's gone, the characters carry the box into the living room. Alina, the pets, Tricky and the inhabitants noticed an inscription that was familiar.

Alina, Tricky and inhabitants:It's from Mr. Gatteria.

Krash:Who is he?

Cal:He worked as a scientist until he was fired when his friend betrayed him and accidentally dropped the box into the river. That's why it came from us.

SpongeBob:It turns out that the box did not just fall into the river and sailed to us.

Lan:Speaking of the box, where is it?

Tricky:At the Gatterium. But don't worry, we found the chest with the help of the map. It contained papers with the lyrics of various songs. It's just that Sofia is a singer now.

Others:Wow.

Alla:(She smelled the sand) Have you been to Africa?

Iben:Yes, we had to fly for the chest that was in the cave.

Sana:But An Anaconda was hunting us and caught only us.

Yuri:And Alina, Tricky and pets saved us.

Cass:And Tricky handled magic and cunning so well that she confused him.

Rainbow Dash:This is Tricky's heroic act.

Tricky:Thank.

From talking, Alina had already opened the box and saw a green computer. They saw a note saying "Click" and she pressed the button. The screen turned on a familiar room with inventions for her, Tricky, pets and the inhabitants.

Alina:A familiar room.

Mr. Gatteria:Oh, it's on. (Appeared on the screen causing the characters to be surprised) Good afternoon.

Heroes:Mr. Gatteria.

Cal:Did you decide to make a surprise for us?

Mr. Gatteria:(Nodded) Yes. I also want to say that Sofia's number will be at the theater soon. You need to turn on the TV to find out.

The heroes quickly turned on the TV and saw the hall from the theater.

Leader:Thanks for this number, and now the final number. Sofia Nikolaevna is performing.

Sofia herself comes on stage with a paper with the lyrics of the song "Perfect for me from *Trolls World tour*".

Sofia:Good afternoon. I am very glad to see you all. Today I'm singing a song that was a birthday present.

Song "Perfect for me".

After the song, everyone clapped, including the heroes.

Tricky:So beautiful and touching.

Alina:And we did a good job on it.

Carlin:To be honest, it's time for us to work separately, even in groups.

Cal:Would you like to join us in the company, Mr. Gatteria?

Mr. Gatteria:With pleasure, now I'm worried About you, but I already trust you. As your leader said...

Everyone nodded at each other...

All:Together, stronger, hurray!

The End.

[septembersghost]

When people try to argue Elvis’s entire career was built on appropriation, I don’t think it’s fair. I know most of his movies aren’t good but I oddly feel like they best represent the fact he had his own unique flair and charisma?

none of his career is built on appropriation. it's not just unfair to say that, it's not factual. i'm sick of seeing this when it's one of the easiest things to debunk and to properly understand. he grew up influenced by that music and sharing in that culture due to his background, it wasn't appropriated, it's who he was. (BB King: "Elvis didn’t steal any music from anyone. He just had his own interpretation of the music he’d grown up on, same is true for everyone. I think Elvis had integrity." Jackie Wilson: "A lot of people have accused Elvis of stealing the black man’s music, when in fact, almost every black solo entertainer copied his stage mannerisms from Elvis." Little Richard: "I love him. That's my buddy, my baby. Elvis is one of the greatest performers who ever lived in this world." you've already seen the quotes list that breaks all of this down, i'm sure).

does everyone conveniently forget that the norm then was for singers to record songs written by professional songwriters? the artistry came from the performance of the music. bing, frank, ella, billie holiday, dean martin, peggy lee, nat king cole, tony bennett, perry como, doris day, the andrews sisters, i could go on and on, all sang songs written by other people, that's how it worked. the only difference is they sang standards and elvis came in at the advent of rock and roll. additionally, many of those songbook writers were white (and jewish, there are significant cultural reasons for this too). black musicians and black songwriters faced awful unfairness and difficulties, segregation and continual prejudice, and weren't played like they deserved to be, sun records was associated with making r&b/soul music, but elvis never walked in and stole anything. did he have advantages making the music he did because he was a white, handsome man? yes, and he and everyone were aware of that, but he also broke barriers through that while facing harsh judgment and criticism for it. he gave credit to the black artists he considered the definitive musicians repeatedly throughout his life.

all of his unique flair and charisma is in his music because it's in his *voice*. music columnist Michael R. Burch gave one of the best descriptions of this, "I cannot think of another male singer who can go from nearly infinite sweetness, to ferocity, to spirituality, to tremendous power the way Elvis does. With the right song in hand he was untouchable."

the movies...are what they are, and sometimes they're really fun despite that, and sometimes his frustration/listlessness is more apparent and it's clear he's not reaching the potential he wanted nor displaying the full range of his talent, but he still gives himself to the music. even when some of the songs weren't great either (i read an article yesterday that called the soundtracks "loathsome," which is also terrible and unfair and i don't agree with that as a whole), he never falters there, because it's as if he couldn't not give himself and the whole of his voice to making that music as perfect as possible for the audience he knew would listen to it. he learned new ways to express the subtleties and nuances of his voice and cadence and emotional performance in a lot of those soundtracks too, which served him when he did his later recordings and kept expanding that color and richness of tone.

Robert Matthew-Walker: “Presley’s vocal range was exceptional – amazingly so for an untrained singer. It ranged from Low F in the bass register to top B Flat and B in the tenor range. This is over two octaves: most people can only managed just over one octave. Quite apart from the range of Presley’s voice (and this range remained with him throughout his life, a fact proved by his recordings) the equally surprising thing was that its quality and distinctive timbre remained constant throughout this range. This is also exceptional and quite the most conclusive proof – if any were needed – that Elvis Presley possessed a natural gift for singing which was completely and utterly rare. For if it were not – where are all the other Elvis Presleys?"

Alan Wiess: "The transformation was incredible. We knew instantly that we were in the presence of a phenomenon, electricity bounced off the walls of the sound stage. One felt it as an awesome thing - like an earthquake in progress, only without the implicit threat. Watching this insecure country boy, who apologized when he asked for a rehearsal as though he had done something wrong, turn into absolute dynamite when he stepped in the bright lights…he believed in it, and he made you believe it, no matter how ‘sophisticated’ your musical tastes were. I had not been a fan until that point, but to deny his talent would have been as foolish as it was impossible. He was a force, and to fail to recognize it would be the same as sticking a finger into a live socket and denying the existence of electricity."

i'm sorry anon, any sadness/frustration i have here is not directed at you, i appreciate what you're saying about the movies!, they can be silly and dated, they can be questionable or enjoyable, regardless he and his signature dazzling charisma is often apparent and charming there, but i just cannot abide us now taking his tremendous and beautiful gifts in his music away from him, or pretending like that wasn't where his passion and true artistry shined brightest, and still resonates most. the music is everlasting.

[usedpidemo]

Do you think K-pop concert ticket prices are too expensive now? What do you think should be the threshold, and what can be done to give all fans, whether casual or diehard, a great experience?

I could go on an entire rant/tangent on what I think concerts as a whole should be like, but it would be the length of a regular fic, so I'll spare you every issue and thought I have about them. I've only been to one concert in my whole life, so I don't have the experience or depth that other concertgoers have, but let's just say the streaming and COVID economy fucked up everything.

Prices: I believe the terrible royalties from streaming, as well as the increased demand for live shows in general has caused these ticket prices to skyrocket. Like you can't just buy a ticket for a decent seat for less than $70 now, that shit only gives you nosebleed seats. Not to mention the deliberate collusion of scalpers by ticketing sites. Those resale tickets and third parties directly cooperate with Ticketmaster so they can punch a bit more money from consumers. And don't even get me started with Dynamic Pricing and those terrible service fees. I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where such things don't exist, but with HYBE openly expressing their intention to enable dynamic pricing and finding alternatives in places where it's not available, you can bet they'll find a way to punch up the prices too.

I understand why they charge this much. Fans will go out to see their favorite artist, regardless of how much they complain about it. FOMO. You don't know if they'll come back to your country or city, or when. Not to mention, the typical K-pop concert is a much grander production than, say, your average pop star. You got backup dancers, large stages, numerous costume changes, sometimes a live band, and of course, multiple members with dozens of staff managing a group. Concerts are the biggest revenue/income drive now for a majority of artists because of how music is distributed today, so they have to break even. Doing world tours are costly; consider the VISA and other costs on a country-to-country basis. No wonder they'd rather tour the US and Japan only to save a few thousand dollars.

It's difficult to gauge the threshold because popularity and demand is fickle, especially in K-pop. However, if there has to be a limit, I personally would stop at around $1000-sub range. There's not a damn singer or artist on planet earth, dead or alive, that's worth over a $1000 ticket. Even MJ. The economy isn't looking good, inflation keeps jumping year by year, and concerts have become basically rich people havens too.

Personally, I do think it'll eventually die out. There's a touring oversaturation right now that it dries people out and we have to pick and choose who we want to attend.

There's a few things I really want to see happen in the future, ideally:

• Rookies shouldn't be pricier than their seniors. I don't care if its NewJeans, IVE, or Le sserafim, they really shouldn't be more expensive than say, a 3-4 year old group. It's ridiculous how NMIXX and IVE were more expensive than The Boyz or ATEEZ.

• Announcing ticket sale literally right after the tour announcement. This is something I absolutely hate. Why are you selling tickets for a show six-eight months away like two weeks after announcing it? Fucking insane! It gives us little to no prep time to gather up resources and plan accordingly. Also, what if something happens that causes a concert to be canceled or delayed? It'll be much harder for us to get refunds back, which is exactly why they pull this shit off. Normalize selling tickets at most two months-a month before the show.

• Make the ticket prices worth it. This is my biggest gripe with concerts, more than the prices: that you're basically paying for the seats and nothing else. I'm not gonna lie, I likely wouldn't have gone out to my one and only concert if I wasn't guaranteed anything else besides a nice seat. Pre-pandemic, the price of the ticket I bought would have given me a group/solo pic with the group and some other cool perks like maybe signed merch. Now? Most concerts give you the show and nothing more. You have to justify paying that hefty tag beyond just a close view of your favorite artist. I remember when pop stars like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, and The Weeknd had photo-ops before the show for those VIP tivkets. COVID ruined all of that. It's such a damn shame, because at best, you're getting soundcheck, which I'm not fond of, in my opinion. It forces people to bait for interactions and not enjoy themselves during the show cuz they aren't guaranteed artist engagement (though this won't really change anything if we're being real lol). I personally would be a lot more comfortable and have a greater time if I knew I could greet them before or after the show instead of trying too hard to get their attention.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I saw that ask abt txt being not too "outstanding" n god it triggers the satan in me. I'm tried of 4th gen kpopies degrading txt for being the only ones with quality music. I mean, i bet there isn't more than five 4th gen idols who r truely into music n passionate abt it n knows their way with it. And txt as a whole is an all rounder group so non fans or casually fans dk much abt their individual potential. Txt is the future of kpop n 4th gen leaders for a reason, tbh i wouldn't care abt 4th gen if it wasn't for txt. Music is basically dead in kpop- no bgs especially 4th gen release good music, hell it aint even music at this point. I had to literally unstan so many groups cuz of their latest releases.

Skz is fine tho, but manic wasn't it without Felix's chorus, still they r skz so i can say they'll do fine. I was kinda disappointed with gbgb at first but after a few listens i grew to lyk it tho it isn't txt lvl at all. The bsides were all basically soty material. Also this y i lyk txt cuz they give no skip albums. If kpopies weren't shameless n had conscience they would admit no one except txt(n btsvt) have no skip albums. Txt is superior in versatility n quality, it makes them stand out in a industry of random tictok sounds n loud beats.

-Isa

i feel like i walked in on a fanwar i wasn't aware of. do txt regularly get hated on by other 4th gen bg stans? i only hear from non bg stans and txt are the token bg for us so i only hear positive things about them

but anyway i didn't feel like the original ask was hateful, though i did side eye how they said that the only thing keeping txt afloat is the concept and production as if that's not the case for most groups? only a handful of idols are self-producing and tbh even if they're self producing doesn't mean the songs they put out are automatically better. you could produce a song and have it be terrible, i don't get the obsession kpop fans have with self-production. producers exist for a reason

but i still feel like your tone isn't helping. we're here to talk about things rationally and you getting this defensive is exactly what i was talking about. like idk the rest of the bg so i can't say who is or isn't passionate about music. i'm sure all stans say the same thing about their own idols but all i know are txt and they seem genuine to me and while they're not the most talented idols, i was attracted to what they have to offer, yes mostly their songs and concepts, but also taehyun's voice is what ultimately pulled me in. he doesn't have the most range and isn't the most technically good singer but his voice has soul and emotion and that's what i look for idk yeonjun isn't the best dancer but he is very entertaining to watch and i personally like his singing voice. beomgyu isn't the most gifted in any particular area but his expressions to me are top notch, i just enjoy watching him so much like he does the cutest expression when doing cute concepts and is very emotive when doing sad songs. i still watch his lovesong fancams regularly because idk it just feels like he really is experiencing heartbreak lol

anyway i'm ranting by now i just mean to say that even though i love txt a lot and they're my favorite 4th gen group, i wasn't triggered by that ask at all. what they said is the truth and i can accept that. the only clarification i would make is what i made in the first part of this response.

i feel like responding with such things as :

"bet there isn't more than five 4th gen idols who r truely into music n passionate abt it n knows their way with it."

"Txt is the future of kpop n 4th gen leaders"

"If kpopies weren't shameless n had conscience they would admit no one except txt(n btsvt) have no skip albums."

is the triggered response i didn't want. none of these are verifiable. for you an album is a no skip but to others it's all skip. like i'm sure all other stans think the same of their groups.

and even though txt are definitely more known to the general public, i think skz are the 4th gen leaders

[autistic-autumn]

Music Rambling No.8

The one is entirely made of music given to me. Few pieces by @aroace-poly-show, as well as a few from one of my lecturers. Lots of crazy stuff really.

Glass beach - Selection from Plastic Death - Motions; Rare Animal; and Comatose - 3, 5 and 10 minutes respectively. This is actually three pieces from a recent album Plastic Death. I decided to combine it into one longer section here, that way I can cram more into the ramble. I don't really know Glass Beach, but I have heard of them and did listen to a piece or two a few years back. I do recall from what I heard that they had lots of interesting little strange bits through their music that was really neat (change time signatures and interesting harmonies).

First one here is Motions opening drum beat is extremely cool. Something neat is going on with the time signatures in the opening, and I think the drums are maybe overlapping over multiple bars. I'm going to be honest I cannot tell what the lyrics are saying about 90% of the time. There is so many interesting rhythms and shifts in this piece. Took me a second listen listen to even try figure out what the rhythm was doing in a lot of places. It's a lot of interesting beats in 4/4 with a few extra bars with more/less beats in them to stretch the time. I personally love this as a technique and I do it all the time myself. I am also terrible at hearing rhythm and had to carefully count while listening. Very interesting and lots of think about with this.

Next up is Rare Animal. Lot of very nice harmonies in this one too. I do really like the instrumental section at the start. Lots of interesting sounds and mixing done here. The pause right before the chorus comes in extremely effective. I once again can barely understand the lyrics, and also really like the time signature changes in this. Not a lot of different things to say with this other than it is also very nice. The time signature shifts in the second half are particularly interesting to me because they are effectively just constant hemiolas. It moves into compound time briefly (or really just using triplets, they probably didn't carefully notate it). More than a hemiola really, which they also use at the end of the chorus, but still interesting nonetheless.

The final piece here is Comatose. I really feel like there isn't a lot more I can say about this. These people have a very distinct style of harmony and rhythm, and they do it well. I do like this piece is a fair bit slower and moves through it's ideas a bit slower. With all the extra time there is so much space to develop ideas and shift the texture, and they do this very well. The instrumental section around 5 minutes is particularly neat. Lot of very well done soundscape kind of stuff. The huge drawn out ending here is extremely fun to listen to. Overall there is a distinctive harmonic and rhythmic style to this band and it's very interesting. Not really at all the sort of music I tend to listen to but very cool.

Kikuo (feat. Hatsune Miku) - Sight, Noise, Life and the Earth - 38 minutes This piece is extremely fascinating to me. It's so varied and dynamic all throughout, and there is no real way to discuss any single part in depth without it turning into a 10000 word essay at minimum. The opening in immediately captivating with the singer on the simple pentatonic scale. It reminds me somewhat of a lot of gregorian chats, as well as an erhu with the vocal slides. Either way it's very cool, particularly the way it breaks the pure tonality as it fades out. The way you can hear repeating motifs and sounds constantly appearing as the piece shifts into new sections is extremely satisfying and there is so much range in what this piece achieves. It's because of this that it almost feels symphonic in nature to me, although not in the traditional sense. There are orchestral instruments used but they are all quite distinctive done in a vst anyways. There are so many fun sounds you can listen out for. Absolutely phenomenal piece and I think I need to listen to it again to really try pick apart what is going on better.

Mazzoli - Symphony for Orbiting Spheres - 10 minutes Particularly enthralled by this piece. It blends a fairly tangible harmonic world with a lot of the soundscape side of contemporary orchestration. I'm particularly fascinated by the addition of synthesizers and harmonics(?) into the orchestra. I would be very interested in seeing the score for this at some point as there is a lot I feel to study with how the orchestration here is done. Very cinematic. Not actually sure how else to describe this piece. So many nice moments of orchestration and great sounds throughout. Extremely cool though.

Ed Bennett - Accel... - 5 Minutes Another interesting minimalist piece for a mixed electro-acoustic ensemble. As you might guess with a piece of this title, the music in fact gets faster and faster over the course of the piece. There are a lot of very interesting sounds in here. The trombone and the damped concert bass drum stand out particularly to me. The trombone really steals the show with all the sounds honestly. I do feel a little bad for the violin and keyboard plays who play fast repeated notes for almost the entire piece. A nice piece with a lot of interesting sounds and good use of repetition.

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genrephobic 2/10/2024

Hey Whores;

This week I found out a coworker had unfriended me from like all social medias and thats probably is a clue to why they've been given me a cold shoulder for weeks now.

at first I was really hurt and angry. It made me feel like I was some horrible person that did some terrible thing and it made me realize the way that I personalize rejection because it makes me feel that if its simple just my fault. If I am just secretly a terrible just simply awful person then I have some control. Matrying myself makes people leaving me an action I chose rather then something that has been done to me.

I want to be clear that I am not someone who refuses to take personal responsibility and I work really hard to unmantle a lot of my negative traits but there comes a point where you have to stop working on yourself and find people that will actually meet you were your at.

I was really pissed at her for a day or two. Wallowing in my hurt and eventually passed through that emotion. Because whether or not somebody wants to be my friend or not. IS honestly none of my business. If people do not want me in there life I'm not going to fight them. I am no longer making myself small for other people to swallow. I am not longer giving people more of what they already don't respect.

Anyway lets listen to some music.

Father of Invention (2012) - Professor Elemental

Genre: Steampunk, Chap Hop Length: 49:27 (20 Songs)

I will say one as a matter of principle Steampunk should not be considering a genre outright, but rather an aestetic styling. Right you can point me at like Waterpunk or Horrorcore. Those have distinct sounds but girl what does a Steampunk? sound like. Its a literary genre. To prove my point from wikipedia

"Steampunk music is very broadly defined. Abney Park's lead singer Robert Brown defined it as "mixing Victorian elements and modern elements". There is a broad range of musical influences that make up the steampunk sound, from industrial dance and world music[77] to folk rock, dark cabaret to straightforward punk,[118] Carnatic[119] to industrial, hip-hop to opera (and even industrial hip-hop opera),[120][121] darkwave to progressive rock, barbershop to big band."

I definetly understand steampunk as a style of song one makes rather then a specific genre.

Heart of Brass by Charming Disaster is a steampunk song. There not a steampunk band. Right. point over

Professor Elemental is kind of the seminial Chap Hop artist and I really don't know where to go from there.

I guess through contrast?

Mr. B. his playful rival is also very comedic as an artist but he seems more interested in playing into chap hop as an actually M.C. Right he has all these tracks about hip hop as a genre. In one of his more popular singles "(i've no wish) to keep it real" he leads with the line "a big of gold and a pager" which is literally a direct reference to "Straight Outa Compton". There very much is a desire in the genre to pay respect to the origins. There is craft here clearly.

Professor Elemental is more focused it feels on form?

Like the beats have a lot of complexity with samples and record scratching and other Disk Jockey Tricks. One Interlude is just a breakbeat track and its acutally fucking fire.

Overall its hard to describe this in a way that fully encapsilates it. because this is a comedic rap genre. This is like listening to an episode of wacky racers or something, (might be because I'm listening to the wacky racers style track), but its reductive to say that the work is only interesting due to its comedic and narrative nature. This is good hip hop music. There is a craft and depth to it. But it also stands away from the more self-serious origins of the genre. A bubblegum pop situration I guess.

3.5/5

Rock Steady (2001) - No Doubt

Genre: Electropop, Dancehall, New Wave Length: 49:02 (15 Tracks)

I really didn't like this one guys.

So if you don't know the story apparently No Doubt got really into Jamacian DanceHall music during there after partys and decided to go on a caribbian holiday, drink rum, and add dancehall vibes to there album tracks.

Ok I can just taste the cacastity in this one. Gwen Staphanie what is this.

(gurl how did I know she did dreads for this one)

and see thats the thing. Because theres some interesting songs on here. but then I get to the dancehall inspired stuff and its kinda shit. Its genuinely just not a good fit for the band, there rock and pop tracks on this album feel a lot stronger.

IDK i think I want to listen to an actually dance hall album by like y'know actually caribiians instead of a pop rock band doing some white tourism.

2/5

Blessings (2008) - S.J. Tucker

Genre: Folk Length: 37:46 (10 Tracks)

I don't have much to say about this album. S.J. Tucker is one of those singers that sound vaguely like the Celtic Woman. She's a folk musician guys what am I supposed to pull out of this.

The Celtic musical influence. the witchyness. The beautiful etheral voice. Baby girl its like Folk Punk. No one ever says that AJJ, McCafferty, and the Front-bottoms being indistinguishable is a bad thing.

S.J Tucker is a pretty folk singer and she made a good folk album. Through if I'm being honest I don't know what a bad folk album would sound like.

3/5

[tachvintlogic]

If DP had a reboot, how would u write Ember?

So I don't really have anything bad to say about her current origin story. In her song, she went out with a boy who then ghosted her for 2 weeks, and then she died in a fire (and she might be blaming him for that).

From her episode, I would drop the entire subplot about the "love spell" because I like Danny and Sam better as friends than a couple, and also because it doesn't really complement her powerset. Her powers should be focused on her cause of death (fire) and her obsession/passion (music).

She can still be defeated by bad singing, but I want Danny to be the one who sings badly instead of Tucker. Many trans guys know that starting T means you won't be able to sing well until your voice and brain adjust to a new vocal range as you lose the old one. Having Danny be the terrible singer would be very relatable.

For other episodes involving her, I'd want one to explore her past. Are her parents still around? Did they recognize her as a ghost? If they didn't, why? If they do, how do they react? What does this say about Danny's parents given they don't recognize him as a ghost, and what his parents' reaction might be if they found out?

And that guy from the song? Is he still around? Does he feel bad about her death? Does he remember her at all? I think if he didn't, that would set it her off. That's some good angst.

Seeing these people from her previous life would force her to confront on a very real level, the fact that, like she sings in her song, their lives have gone on without her.

The song is very ambiguous about the details of her death, and how it relates to the guy ghosting her. The details should be slowly revealed to Team Phantom as they spent time with Ember and these people from her past.

Though, I don't really have any thoughts about what those details should be.

The Ember's Past episode should end with Team Phantom finding Ember in front of a burned down lot, implied to be the building Ember died in. Perhaps it can be turned into a memorial, where fans can leave food and gifts for her reminiscent of how some cultures give offerings to the dead.

I'm really into the idea of most of the main rogues gallery turning into allies, or at least neutral parties. She'd probably have an episode or two focused on finding a way to pursue her passion for music without the mind control or taking over the world. Maybe she finds gigs for her band in the Ghost Zone or in Amity.

I kinda want Sidney and Ember to be friends, if only because they died at around the same age. I imagine when they first start hanging out, they clash over their very different tastes in music. Perhaps this is part of an arc where Ember is learns about different music styles and broadens her horizons. Maybe she meets Aunt Alicia and learns to appreciate country music.

She would get more songs than just the one from the original. At least enough to fill an album. Having an episode where Ember learns about different genres of music would be a good excuse to fill the album with all the genres Ember encountered in the episode. (And said episode would double as marketing for the album.)

@five-rivers had a cool fic about Ember helping Danny practice his ghostly wail using proper voice exercises. I think that would cool to explore in a reboot, especially for a trans Danny. Pre-T Danny might dislike his singing voice because he thinks it's too high, even if it's descent. While on T, his singing voice sucks because his pitch is changing and he doesn't know how to adjust for that. While Ember helps Danny control the new power of his dying screams, she finds out why Danny is so good at singing terribly, and she forces him to practice and get better at singing in his new range.

That's basically all my thoughts on a reboot Ember.

[sonnetthebard]

This is kind of a crack idea, but I don't really care and I'm throwing it out anyway

Curt and Owen have to go undercover in a show for a mission(keeping an eye on one of the members of the cast maybe?). The show? Either Spies are Forever or a Hatchetfield show, take your pick -S

S anon... you have been waiting a while for this, and I apologize. With Headless, I needed a moment to recharge. So this is going to be a Modern! SAF fic. And as a treat, we're going original cast in an AU. That's right folks. Extra meta content. You asked for crack, you're gonna get crack. Please note: Most of the stories pertaining to the real people involved in this oneshot are made up based on what facts I know about them/ what I’m able to pick up on personalities. I don’t know any of these people personally, though. This is going to be such a ride, so buckle up.

Genre: Comedy/ Action/ Fluff

Words: 5639

TL;DR: Curt and Owen take the stage in order to monitor Chimera and one of their operatives. The thing is, they only have a vague clue as to who they're going after: he was one of the writers.

TW: Swearing, Guns, Fighting- But not much, this is mostly just gonna be a joke.

_________________________________________________

"Next we have... Curt Mega?" The longer-haired one read off, looking at Curt. "Cool name! We might have to use that- if, of course, that's okay with you."

"Oh... yeah, that's fine." Curt chuckled softly.

What, precisely, was Curt doing? Only the thing he'd vowed to Owen that he would never do (other than, of course, leave him): auditioning for a musical. Owen was a total theatre kid, and he'd done his share of musicals. Curt was always in the audience, but he'd jokingly told Owen that he would never be joining him up there. But... here he was. In an audition room. Curt never broke promises, not even joke ones. But these were... extenuating circumstances. In other words, this was for a mission and he had no doubt that Cynthia would actually kill him if he didn't follow through with his orders. Owen gave him a sly, triumphant smirk from across the room, where he was waiting for his audition. Curt got up, following the guy back further into the studio where they were holding auditions.

This mission was an odd one. It was monitoring a potential operative with Chimera Worldwide. Sure, they had the world by storm now- but A.S.S. was getting intel telling them that they might be breaching the privacy rights of people all over the world. In fact, Chimera may be a lot more criminal than they would seem to the naked eye. There was evidence coming to light of plots that could very well end in world domination. The worst part: apparently they were pretty plausible. One world government, puppeted by Chimera. That's why MI6 had sent Owen, and A.S.S. had sent Curt. They were their best agents, and a duo that had proven to work well together.

What did all of that have to do with a musical? To the average joe, nothing. Oh, Chimera had done well. They'd even declined to offer these guys a production grant so as to not seem shady. But... the A.S.S. had reason to believe that one of the writers and producers for the show that they were about to audition for was an operative for Chimera. Now, this play in and of itself may be an independent project. It may have nothing to do with Chimera. But... it was looking like the easiest way to monitor this operative, and so here Curt and Owen were. Owen was thrilled! He loved doing shows. He usually had to slot them into his schedule carefully, though. He couldn't do them during missions. So a mission where he was doing theatre was basically a dream come true for him.

Curt and Owen had chosen roles according to their experience with theatre. Curt had chosen to keep his name as his theatrical stage name, and Owen already did keep his name as a stage name. It was risky, but it also provided their names with a solid cover in the world outside of espionage. Owen had a legitimate resume built. That was why he was going for the lead, currently named 'JB' for 'James Bond' (subject to change). Curt, on the other hand, had stolen his resume from another actor named Curt Mega (who had fully agreed to that and signed an NDA and luckily enough happened to look like Curt). He had literally no acting experience, so he was going for a smaller role: The Informant and Ensemble. Both would likely have eyes on different parts of the production process and the cast. Hopefully they'd get a good idea of what was going on and who their target was. Maybe they'd even get to eliminate the threat! That was Curt's favourite part of missions.

"So, Curt... you did Glee?" The guy who had initially called him asked as they walked.

"Yep!" Curt lied.

"I recognize you! You were one of the Warblers- nice job on that solo in Uptown Girl, by the way." The man chuckled. Oh good. He was passable as the other Curt Mega. "I did Glee too. I was only there for, like, an episode though. But my buddy Darren... well, you probably know him."

"Yeah. He did a phenomenal job as Blaine." Curt smirked. Darren was also on an NDA. The government was being extremely careful.

"I'm Joey Richter. Me and my friends Brian and Corey wrote this show." The man introduced himself, extending his hand. Curt took it, giving him a firm shake. Joey smirked. "Damn... you've got a good shake."

"Thanks." Curt chuckled. He liked this guy. It was hard to imagine right now that he could be talking to an agent for one of the greatest evils known to man since... probably the Nazis. "I'm Curt... I mean, you know that, I just..."

"Yeah, I get it." Joey chuckled along with him. They walked into a room. Inside there were four other men. Two sat behind a table, Curt's supposed 'resume' and headshots laid out in front of them, a stack of papers on the side. Two other men shared a piano bench stationed by a keyboard. None of them were dressed particularly formally. Actually, they were all dressed pretty similarly to Curt. Short-sleeved patterned button-ups were about as formal as it got. So Curt and his black, white and gold striped short-sleeved button-up were in good company. "Hey, guys! This is Curt!"

"Hey! Welcome to the auditions for Spies are Forever!" One of the men behind the table smiled brightly. God, all of these men looked... so innocent. Curt couldn't see any of them being traitors to their country, much less mankind.

"Okay, so that's Brian. The guy beside him is Corey." Joey introduced. Corey waved. "The two guys at the piano bench are Clark and Pierce, our composers and band."

"Hey, Curt." Clark smirked.

"You brought your sixteen bars?" Pierce checked.

"Yep." Curt nodded, popping his 'p' and passing him the binder with his sheet music in it.

He'd brought Being Alive from Company, which Owen said was "such a cliche" and "a terrible choice for a comic show", but it was the song Curt felt most comfortable singing. So he was singing it anyways. Owen was very adamant that Curt had to be careful to actually be cast in the show, but Curt held that that song was his best chance. Curt had always thought he was an okay singer. He had his range that he shined in, and he used that. He never performed though. He wasn't that good. That's why he was going for a mostly non-singing role. He went over his cut with Clark, who was actually the one who would be playing for him. Then he cleared his throat, took a deep breath and gave it the old college try.

The odd thing, Curt thought, was that they seemed very into it. Either they were being very nice to him or they were genuinely enjoying the performance. Curt was a bit surprised by that. Owen was the performer among the two of them. Curt supposed it could just be the song. But then... something else unexpected happened. They asked Curt to do his cold read as 'JB'... and change the name to his own. 'Agent Curt Mega'. It was all getting a bit real for Curt. They liked him. And they liked his cold read. They were laughing during his cold read- and at all the right times! Curt was very confused. This wasn't where he was supposed to shine. He walked out of the audition room, and Owen was called in.

Owen really could not have come out sooner. Curt was anxious. What had he just done? He had given it his best because he thought that the best that could get him was ensemble. Was it going to get him more? Was he ready for more? He was past the point of no return, but... God, what had he just done? Owen came out of his audition, smug and content with himself. Apparently they'd asked him to read multiple sides. Curt hadn't the heart to tell him they'd asked him to read for the lead. A few days passed. Curt almost forgot that he'd even auditioned. That it had been so successful. Basking in the California sun could do that to you. But three days later, it all came back to him all too vividly.

"Curt, I got the email!" Owen announced from where he was lazing on the couch across from Curt in their hotel room. He sat up quickly, eager.

"What does it say?" Curt asked eagerly, sitting up with him. Owen scrolled down on his phone.

"Well... I'm in the show..." Owen furrowed his brows. "But... not in the role I thought. I got Deadliest Man Alive."

"Oh." Curt frowned. "I'm sorry. I know you really wanted the lead."

"It seemed like a juicy part." Owen hummed, still a bit dazed by the rejection. "I was looking forward to it."

"I know, babe." Curt sighed, getting up and wrapping his partner in a hug. "Maybe this one will be even juicier!"

"Maybe..." Owen nodded. "Thank you, love. For trying to make me feel better."

"Yeah, no problem!" Curt smiled softly.

"Did you get your email?" Owen asked.

"I... haven't checked." Curt admitted.

"Well go on, then! Sit! We'll check together!" Owen urged him. Curt sighed, sitting beside him and opening his email. Owen peered over his shoulder. The email from the Tin Can Bros was the first one that popped up right at the top. "Open it, Curt!"

"Okay..." Curt chuckled nervously, pressing the email to open it. He scrolled down, sighing in relief. "I got in, O."

"Congratulations!" Owen cheered, grinning. he was genuinely happy for Curt, and excited to be in the same show. "What role?"

"Let me scroll down..." Curt chuckled, before his heart stopped. Naturally, his laughter stopped with it, and his face fell.

"Love, what is it?" Owen furrowed his brows, concerned by the sudden mood shift. Immediately, his mind went to the worst-case scenario. "Curt, is there anything in there indicating that we might be compromised?"

"No..." Curt shook his head, staring at the role.

"Then... darling, what's wrong?" Owen blinked, before looking over his shoulder. His face fell to a state of shock almost equal to Curt's when he read the words, bolded on the screen: We would like to offer you the role of 'JB', renamed Agent Curt Mega. "Oh..."

_________________________________________________

Rehearsals for Spies Are Forever were potentially one of the best times Curt had ever had. Everyone loved him! Apparently, his voice was much better than he'd given himself credit for, as was his acting. Even Owen admitted it. It turned out Curt was perfect for the role. The songs fit right for him, the personality was spot on... the spy was even gay! It was as though it was written specifically for him to perform. Curt truly was having the time of his life. And Owen was loving the role of Deadliest Man Alive. It turned out it was a significantly juicier role than Curt's- funny, dark. And he even had a minor side comedic role to take on, Dick Big. So he could flex his chops in different area. There was a bit of a minor complication with the characters, though.

It turned out Curt's was not the only name that they'd liked. The Tin Can Bros had thought Owen's name was absolutely perfect... for Curt's partner turned villain. Romantic partner turned villain, to boot. They liked the ship name Curtwen. Ironically, both Owen and Joey were playing versions of Agent Owen Carvour- Owen playing him when he was in disguise as Deadliest Man Alive, Joey playing him out of disguise. Owen didn't make a fuss- he couldn't in the position he was in. But he didn't like being portrayed that way, or his name being used that way. The truth was, Owen had used to be morally grey. He'd had a phase where he'd almost betrayed his country and Curt. He'd very nearly done some terrible things. He wouldn't way who for, but Owen had implied it might have been Chimera. But he and Curt had worked through that, and he saw the error of his ways. It hurt seeing his name associated with villainy again. But for the sake of the mission, he literally could not complain.

As for the mission, they weren't really getting too far yet- and that wasn’t for lack of effort. As hard as finding a balance between rehearsal and espionage was, they’d managed to find a routine and stick to it. The work they were doing really should have been productive for them. They'd bugged all three writers and the two composers, but HQ (who was monitoring those so that the boys could focus on rehearsing so that they didn’t become too suspicious) was saying that they'd not gotten any suspicious activity from those except for Joey constantly being with an unidentified girl. But it seemed like that was his girlfriend and not another operative. So either this operative was smart and onto them or taking a hiatus from their work. Background checks were pretty clean. They were going purely off their interactions with these writers, which wasn’t really helping. All five of them were lovely. All five of them were also extremely smart. And all five of them had acting experience. Right now, though... Joey, Clark and Pierce weren't their main suspects. Joey was just too genuine to be bad, as were Pierce and Clark. Plus, if we're looking at technicalities (as Owen tended to), Clark and Pierce were composers, not writers. It was between Brian and Corey- unless something changed. Truly, it was anyone's game.

Owen and Curt were on break. It had been a hard day of rehearsal so far. Curt had just had to rehearse his pseudo-love-song with Mary Kate (who was lovely, but he was a bit jealous of- Owen had called her 'gorgeous' on multiple occasions now), and though it wasn't physically or musically demanding it was hard not to just start laughing. Especially with Curt, a gay man who had experienced this before. And Lauren played his meddling mother during the song, which only made it harder not to laugh. His own mother had no idea what he did or who he was seeing, and it was better that way. She just thought he was a single banker. He liked Lauren’s version of his mom better. She was way funnier. It had taken a bit of time just to get a run in where Curt wasn't giggling the entire time. The song was just so well written! He knew it was so unprofessional (and Owen had certainly reminded him of that) but he couldn't help it! And the Bros were laughing with him, so it was all good. He was glad to be on break, because his sides were killing him. He scrolled through his phone, checking for anything from HQ, before he felt a hand on his back.

"You know, Curt, I don't know if I've told you this lately but you're really, really great!" Joey told him.

"Thanks, man." Curt chuckled. "Thanks for the opportunity!"

"Thank you for coming out for our show!" Joey smirked. His voice dropped to a lower volume. “Listen... you and Owen are dating, right?”

"Yeah..." Curt furrowed his brows. He and Owen had chosen to be open about that. They were all pretty supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. The actor playing Susan and The Informant had even confessed to him that they thought they might be nonbinary- maybe even female leaning. 

"Okay, so for the whole anniversary thing..." Joey fidgeted a bit nervously. "I mean... I've got an anniversary coming up, and, like, it's not my first, but... I think I’ve used every trick in the dating book at this point, and-"

"Wait, you're dating?" Curt blinked.

"Oh! Right, you're new!" Joey started to laugh. "Um... yeah! It's me and Lo."

"You and Lauren?" Curt smirked. He chuckled. "I knew it!"

"We're not public about the relationship yet, though, so... keep it quiet?" Joey pleaded.

"Oh yeah, you're safe." Curt assured him.

"So... any ideas?" Joey asked. “I really want this to be special for her.”

"Have you guys done the beach yet?" Curt offered. "Like, just a picnic- something you both love to eat- out on the beach."

"Yeah, did that two years ago." Joey sighed.

"Alright... how about a museum?" Curt offered. "It can be any museum that has something the two of you could bond over. But... I mean, Owen is super into experiencing art together."

"That we haven't done... not by ourselves on a date." Joey considered. "It doesn't even really have to be art, does it?"

"Nah, that's the beauty of museums! There are museums out there for everything." Curt smirked. “Maybe you two could go to a movie museum.”

"That’s probably more our speed.” Joey chuckled. “Thanks, man!”

"No problem.” Curt winked playfully. Then, he got an idea. He trusted Joey, so hopefully this worked. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

"I mean, I kinda owe you one." Joey chuckled. “Ask away!”

"Have you noticed anyone... acting a bit weird? Like... different from the way they usually do." Curt whispered.

"I... think I know who you mean." Joey nodded. "With Mary Kate... I think she honestly just misses Sean, you know? The rehearsals are a long time for her to be away from him. Those two are so close."

"Yeah... yeah, that must be hard on her." Curt hummed sympathetically. That... wasn't what he'd been going for.

"But I don't know what's going on with Brian." Joey confided in him. "I mean, it's not like he's been acting weird, per se, but... I mean, he always used to be down to just hang after work. But recently, he's been too busy to do that? I honestly thought it was just me who was picking up on that, but like... you're noticing it too?"

"Yeah. Yeah I am." Curt lied, all the sympathy he could muster in his tone. Bingo. He'd just gotten some really, really good intel there. If there was anyone who would be able to know when one of the writers was acting shady, it was Joey. They were his best friends. And Curt tended to agree with Joey anyways. Corey just didn’t give off villain vibes. Neither did Brian, but out of the two of them, Brian gave off more. “Glad it’s not just me.”

"What's he saying about me?" Brian rolled his eyes playfully, approaching his bag from behind them to grab something. Shit. He must have heard his name. 

"Uh..." Joey blushed.

"Oh, he was just telling me about how you two met." Curt lied. Joey gave him a questioning look. But Curt remembered him mentioning it in another one of his longwinded vents. "U of Michigan, Freshmen year. You two got into a lot of trouble."

"He's not telling you any of the bad stuff, is he?" Brian teased.

"Nah, man- I respect the bro code!" Joey scoffed playfully. Curt gave Joey a wink, and Joey gave him a grateful look in return. The wink hadn't gone unnoticed by Brian though.

"Oh god, he is telling you the bad stuff, isn't he?" Brian groaned playfully. "Listen, if Lauren asks, none of it was us."

"Oh don't worry... I'm great with secrets." Curt chuckled. He kinda wanted context now. Knowing those two, it was nothing serious- Joey had a heart of gold. He wouldn't be involved in anything bad. Especially not with his soon-to-be-girlfriend. So probably pranks, or other such shenanigans.

"Guys... I already knew it was you." Lauren rolled her eyes. None of them had noticed her by her own rehearsal bag picking up her water bottle. "It was so obvious... I may have believed you when you blamed Holden like... once? Twice? But you literally signed off half of the time."

"We did?" Joey blinked, looking at Brian.

"Okay, look, some of the time... I was pretty proud of our work." Brian defended himself.

"Dude!" Joey started to snicker. "And here I was keeping secrets from my girlfriend for you!"

"Sorry, Joey." Brian winced. 

“Eh, I guess I have to forgive you.” Joey rolled his eyes, chuckling. “You’re my best friend.”

“Hey, what’s that?” Lauren asked, noticing a pink piece of paper sticking out of Curt’s rehearsal bag. Curt blushed profusely. That was the letter Owen had written to pick him up. he took it everywhere with him in case he panicked so that he could read it, remember those days and calm down. It helped. He’d meant to keep it hidden. 

“Oh... it’s nothing.” Curt lied. 

“It’s not nothing, is it?” Lauren smirked. She gave him a genuine look. “Is it personal?”

“Oh, it’s nothing too bad.” Owen chuckled. Curt blushed further, feeling Owen wrap his arms around his waist. When had he gotten there?”

“What’s going on over here?” Corey asked, joining them. It seemed they had formed a rather large clump. 

“I think Lauren might be about to read the first letter I ever wrote to Curtis.” Owen smirked triumphantly, clearly not embarrassed by that prospect. 

“Ooooo romantic!” Tessa teased Curt. When had she shown up? God, for a spy, Curt was not very observant. He took a brief look at his surroundings. Ah. Everyone was there. Fantastic. 

“Oh hell yeah I am!” Lauren smirked. She plucked the paper out of Curt’s bag. 

“Oh god...” Curt groaned. 

“You okay with this?” Corey checked with Curt. Curt nodded reluctantly. 

“I mean, as long as O is.” Curt sighed, relenting.

With that, Lauren used the rest of their break to overdramatically read out Owen’s letter. Curt was a blushing mess, and Owen was grinning like an idiot. Evidently he was proud of himself- as he should have been. It was a good letter. At least Curt and Owen now had an idea of who to look into: Brian Rosenthal. It was a bit odd to think that Brosenthal might be a Chimera operative. He was a funny, quirky... he didn’t seem ruthless enough. Maybe they were wrong. But this was literally all the intel they could get at the moment. Mind you, they needed concrete evidence before they could actually do anything, but... at least they had a lead. Even if it was a weird one. The thing about espionage was that leads were usually weird. So they... well, they managed to bug all of the writers’ houses a bit more to give HQ more to work with, but especially Brian’s. That way the minute they had solid evidence, they could act. Well... not the minute. More like within about twenty minutes. But same difference. There was nothing else they could do. 

________________________________________________

Nothing happened through the rest of the rehearsal process. Literally nothing. No one did anything suspicious. Honestly, Curt and Owen were starting to think that their superiors were wrong. They were performing their shows- with excellent reception, might they add. People were loving Curt. The real Curt Mega was getting huge acclaim on Curt’s behalf. And the fans... well they were going mad. It was looking like the show would be a huge success- which meant two things. One, Curt was going to have to do more theatre. Cleary he was good at it. Two, his life as a spy was about to get more... complicated. IT turned out these guys had a bit of a cult following because they had been involved with a theatre group called Team Starkid? Curt knew about them from his mission briefing, but honestly he’d never thought that they were that big of a deal. When he’d confessed that to Owen he’d gotten a long lecture. Apparently Owen was also a fan, and that was half of why he was so excited to be doing this show. But that was a topic for another time. 

It was about the third show in when they finally got the evidence they had been looking for. It... was not when they’d planned to find anything. Actually, it was at the least convenient time. Between acts. It was also in the least expected way. Curt had to get his props for the top of Act Two. Owen decided to go with him, mostly to make sure he wasn’t a total and utter child. Honestly, they just meant to get their props before places. They were the only ones in that area backstage- the stagehands were resetting the stage and helping with costume changes/ tech issues. Well, they thought they were the only ones backstage. They should have been. But it turns out that someone else had anticipated the lack of people, and was using that to his advantage. At first, all Curt and Owen could hear were murmurs- not distinguishable in the slightest. Bey both gave each other a look before pulling out their real guns (which they hid on their costumes just in case) and following the sound. And that was when they saw him. The culprit behind all of this: Bri- Corey Lubowich? They lowered their guns a bit, staying dead quiet. That wasn’t what they’d been expecting. {erhaps this was a false alarm. 

“I am in the middle of a- no, I get that my work with you is important! Believe me, I know!” Corey hissed. “I just... tonight is one of my shows! I’m going on as the Prince! I- well can it wait half an hour? I mean I’d prefer two hours, but if I have to whip out my laptop backstage, I- well I’m kinda insisting on- come on, you guys know my theatre is important to me!”

“Okay... so we were wrong...” Owen whispered. 

“We don’t know that...” Curt reasoned. “It could be his family.”

“Of course I’m loyal! When have I not done what you said? I have sacrificed so much for you!” Corey fumed quietly. “Chimera is my life now! Not theatre, not my family or friends. Chimera! Do you know how fucking weird that is for someone my age?! I’m too young for all this corporate shit! No! No, of course that’s not what I’m saying just- can I have my night? Come on, this is really important.”

“Okay, I take that back.” Curt blinked, stunned. He was just a bit too loud. Corey’s head snapped in their direction, and both men raised their guns. Corey’s eyes fumbled, and he pulled out a gun of his own, haphazardly aiming it at them. 

“Okay... shit, guys, I’m going to have to call you back... we’ve got a situation.” Corey muttered. His face fell and he rolled his eyes, unimpressed. “No, not a theatre situation. An us situation. I’ll fill you in- look, they have guns. Just- I really don’t have the time for this anymore- NOT MY JOB WITH YOU! This conversation! Jesus, I’ve got two guns pointed at me! Let me go! Okay, fine! Bye!”

“You...” Curt spat, glaring at Corey. 

“You guys finally figured it out...” Corey sighed, raising his gun fully at them. 

“You know who we are?” Curt blinked. 

“How?” Owen asked him coldly. 

“Chimera has eyes and ears everywhere.” Corey rolled his eyes. “Just like in the show. I knew you were coming, and I knew you were looking for me. I just didn’t think you’d actually find me.”

“Are you insulting our intelligence?” Owen scoffed. 

“No. I just thought I set up Brian pretty well.” Corey admitted. “It was pretty easy, too... all I had to do was point out to Joey that Brian wasn’t coming to as many of our hangouts as he used to. You trusted Joey. Joey relayed that to you. Threw you completely off my scent.”

“Yeah, aren’t you just the friend of the year.” Curt rolled his eyes. “You threw your bro under the bus.”

“You’re lucky we didn’t get a false tip-off and eliminate him.” Owen hummed in agreement. “You’ve no clue the kinds of things that could set our superiors off.”

“Well... It’s Brian. The chances of him doing anything sketchy are slim to none.” Corey reasoned. 

“Corey, I’m going to need you to put that gun down and put your hands behind your head.” Curt sighed. 

“Alright, guys, places!” Joey called out to them. Everyone was backstage- except, oddly, Lauren (who was usually pretty punctual on cues). Shit. Their timing was awful. “You can play with the... are those our prop guns?”

“No... those are too modern.” Brian furrowed his brows, approaching them to get a closer look. He blinked before stumbling back. “Holy shit, guys... are those real guns?”

“Yes, they are... and you’re going to need to stay back.” Curt told them levelly. “Lubowich, gun down, hands behind your head.”

“We outgun and outman you.” Owen reminded him. The fact that Corey was so reluctant was astounding. “And we have a license to kill if you don’t cooperate.”

“Okay, guys, what the fuck?!” Joey exclaimed. 

“Can we just... put the guns down and talk this out?” Tessa pleaded. 

“No... we can’t.” Curt shook his head. “My name is Agent Curt Mega, American Secret Service. My partner is Owen Carvour, MI6.”

“Our credentials...” Owen muttered, pulling them out with one hand and holding them out to Brian, who was closest. He hesitantly took them. Corey shot Owen while he wasn’t in peak position to shoot him. Curt shot Corey back with no hesitation. Neither shot was fatal, Corey’s hitting Owen in the arm and Curt’s hitting Corey in the shoulder. The impact was enough to make both men stumble back. Owen stayed on his feet, but Corey fell. Curt kept his gun trained on Corey. 

“Holy shit, they’re not lying...” Brian mumbled. 

“Okay, Corey... what the actual fuck, man?!” Joey fumed, definitely feeling a bit betrayed. 

“Corey... why are you fighting the secret service?” Mary Kate asked coolly, trying to be the level-headed one. 

“He works for Chimera.” Curt told them, knowing they might not get a clear response from Corey for a bit. 

“The assholes who wouldn’t fund us?” Brian groaned. Corey grunted in admittance. “Come on, man! This just keeps getting worse and worse!”

“Okay, guys, I’m here. Sorry I took so-” Lauren started, rushing out. She saw the scene playing out and blinked. “Holy fuck! What’s going on?!”

“They’re actual fucking spies, Lo.” Joey hissed. “All three of them.”

“Pretty sure Curt and Owen are the good guys.” Brian added in a whisper. 

“Oh yeah, Curt and Owen are definitely the good guys.” Tessa gulped. 

“Corey is an agent for Chimera.” Curt explained. 

“Please tell me this is an elaborate prank.” Lauren chuckled nervously. 

“No, Lo... this time it’s real.” Joey sighed. 

“Okay, but... Chimera’s just a huge global corporation, right?” Mary Kate reasoned. 

“Not really.” Corey croaked out. 

“They’re plotting world domination.” Owen grunted. 

“Corey...” Joey breathed. 

“World domination makes it sound bad.” Corey grimaced. “We more just want control over every world government... and then maybe to take all of them out and form one Chimera government.”

“That doesn’t make it sound any better.” Tessa winced. 

“Why?” Brian asked Corey, hurt. “Why are you doing this?”

“Honestly, I just needed a bit of extra money in college.” Corey muttered, trying and failing to find his footing. Clearly he wasn’t a field agent too often. 

“So you turned to espionage?!” Lauren scoffed incredulously. 

“Honestly I started as a delivery boy and then I found out some shit I should never have known...” Corey sighed. “It escalated really quickly.”

“God, this is a mess.” Joey groaned. 

“Curt, love, can you give our superiors a ring?” Owen prompted him. “I’ll deal with our former friend here.”

“On it.” Curt nodded, pulling out his phone. 

“So... do we stop the show?” Brian asked Owen as he pulled out a zip-tie- another essential item Owen always kept on him, even in costumes.

“Oh no... the A.S.S. is the epitome of discretion. Believe me, you’ll have no clue what’s going on. Just see if you can find a friend in the audience to go on for The Prince.” Owen told them, tying up Corey and forcing him onto his feet. “Owen will take him outside and... he should honestly be ready to go on after We Love The Prince.”

“Holy shit... okay...” Lauren sighed. 

“I’ll make an announcement that we’re having technical difficulties...” Joey planned. “Let’s, um... just take a moment to breathe and get back into the right headspace.”

“We’ll be back in a moment.” Curt told them as he and Owen took Corey outside. 

“Rot in hell, you asshole!” Brian called after him, sniffing. Was he... crying? You know what, it was completely fair. That was one hell of a betrayal. 

So Curt and Owen passed Corey onto their superiors, and Spies Are Forever was able to go on. They got Nick Lang to play The Prince, which only made the fans more excited. Curt and Owen were allowed the opportunity to finish their run with the show- which Curt was so, so grateful for. He loved theatre. he never thought he would, but he loved it. And Owen loved that he loved it. Spies are Forever was the first of many shows for Curt. He got into the habit, like Owen, of doing shows between missions. In fact, he actually got to make Owen a little jealous later on- he got into a Starkid show. Mind you, they knew who he was. Fully this time. They even supported him- helped him build a public backstory. The real Curt Mega’s wife even played wife to him publicly when she needed to. It was a new start in Curt’s life and one that he hadn’t even known he needed. Finally, everything seemed like it was okay.

[thegeneralreturns]

Why is it the only thing I can do with Hanzo is counter Tracer?

For a hero with only 150 HP, pretty much everything counters Tracer, but not every other DPS hero is as complicated as Hanzo's approach. You can splatter her with Doomfist, launch her into orbit with Junkrat, hack her and leave her useless with Sombra, one-shot her with Reaper. My favorite is using Symmetra to lure a flanking Tracer into my turret line. She has to blink back and try to pick off the turrets at long range in order to get to my team's backline, effectively taking her out of the game, until common sense prevails and she switches. And sometimes common sense does not prevail, at which point, yay me.

But none of those are foolproof for me. Not like Hanzo. Then I become the magical headshot machine.

Which is weird because I can't replicate that with any other hero. Everyone that Hanzo conventionally counters, I can't counter, because I am an abysmally shitty Hanzo. Against everyone except Tracer.

I can't even counter Zenyatta, and Zenyatta's kitchen space is huge. That's how much counter room he has.

Even through the ether, from your thoughts to my fingers presently typing these words, your arguments are audible, loud and with reverb, like a fat-assed opera singer aria-ing for help from the bottom of a well with immaculate acoustics.

"Oh, they must have been a shitty Tracer."

I genuinely don't know whether they were a shitty Tracer or not. Hence the thrust of my confession here this evening. I was the brick wall they couldn't get past. They could have been Gaius Scrubulus who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, or Jesus Hieronymous Christ who could whittle down a Roadhog without thinking. I wouldn't know, because I kept ruining their day.

"You must have used Storm Arrow, then."

No. No. No. You're not getting what I say when I tell you I'm a terrible Hanzo. I missed using Storm Arrow on Tracer. But the follow-up headshot? The one it takes the length of a War & Peace audiobook as read by Porky Pig to draw back? That's the one that sent her soul to Hell.

This last game I had with him, attacking on Havana, was nothing special. I bronzed with sixteen kills and seven headshots.

But five of those headshots were on the Tracer. The other two were on Sigma, and his head has a hitbox the size of a black hole's accretion disk. And him being a tank, neither of those headshots dropped him.

Everyone's leisure time had weird little tributaries into which the odd and inexplicable form funky little lagoons and estuaries. When it comes to playing Overwatch, this one is mine.