#I don't hate her. I think she was dead wrong but I do not despise her. I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart--

[chatdae]

Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.

And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!

(this is about The Boys season four)

[letorip]

Can you do headcanons about meeting/first date with Jenna’s characters?

meetings & first dates

very funny to think about, i really did have quite good fun writing this one. thank you as always to the anon who requested, i was happy to oblige. also this isn’t what i originally planned to put out but casual [iii] should be out soon so maybe this’ll fill the void. i'm also on holiday at the moment, so that's why i'm posting at a weird hour (5 am) my ass had a plane to catch

i think i cooked on the lorraine one, would y'all want that one too

wednesday addams

you meet her in jericho, working behind the counter of the hardware store your parents own, when she stomps inside in her rain soaked boots and down a random aisle without a word at you

when she comes back with a shovel, some duct tape, a taser, and some rope, you have to awkwardly joke that it looks like she's trying to kill something

she doesn't laugh at your joke, instead staring right back at you, and you feel yourself gulp

that's your first interaction, and you don't see her again for a few days, until she comes back to buy a box of nails, and then a week later, a bucket, and a few days after that, a plunger

you won't know it until later, but she didn't actually need the nails or the bucket, she just needed an excuse to go back to the hardware store and buy some stuff so she could get up close to you

after four or five trips of her buying the most odd, random shit, she works up the courage to actually start talking to you a bit more. after a few more trips after that, you ask her what the stuff is all for, and she lets you in on the creature in the woods killing the locals, and that she claims to have seen it

for what it's worth, you believe her immediately, about rowan and the hyde and crackstone, and you listen to her theorise, leaning on the counter until someone else comes in and asks you where the plywood is, and you have to actually go do your job. wednesday stares down the intruder, trying to smite them with her eyes, but you always give her an apologetic smile before you leave

she tells you later when you're better friends and she's confessing, but she thinks of you as an odd comfort and home that she never realised she desired, and being in the hardware store and having you smile at her gave her a single fluttering of that warmth

eventually she brings you on her investigations and her cold, dead heart is running a million miles an hour the entire time, but you have to hide how close you are to wednesday from your father, because of his passionate dislike of outcasts

wednesday comes to your back window and chucks rocks at the glass to get your attention, romeo and juliet style, so that you can sneak out

when you actually ask her out, it's before you've even kissed, and wednesday wordlessly nods yes with her mouth hanging open, before she grabs the collar of your jacket and messily kisses you for the first time

your first date is to a movie, and to a horror movie, to be more specific. you take her to get food at a local diner that's open 24 hours, super late at night, and though she makes a remark about how these restaurants were unhealthy and an indicator of what's wrong with america, she thoroughly enjoys her waffle and you even manage to get her to wear one of those silly diner hates for a moment. she doesn't admit it, but she likes making you laugh

the movie is an incredibly rough experience. you despise horror movies, but wednesday is left smiling at the screen as a man is ripped to shreds in front of your eyes

that is until she realises your discomfort, and she realises you only did this because you knew she would like it. the realisation literally blows her mind, and she watches your face contort in disgust and fear, before gently reaching over and hastily grabbing your hand

she doesn't say another word, struggling to process the new emotions until you're both done with the movie and walking home. you're ranting about how gross it was and how you would be having nightmares for weeks because of it, and then she reaches up to the back of your neck and pulls you down into another fiery kiss, right as it starts to rain

tara carpenter

you've known tara for years, since you're also from woodsboro. you went to the same elementary school and she’s known of you for a long, long time since you chased her around the playground with a lizard in your hands

tara's always liked you, and you've both always had some attraction to each other and magical chemistry, but there's always been something to keep you apart

tara's involvement with amber and then chad, and then your own girlfriends, it was never the right time for you both to explore whatever electricity you could feel between you, so you didn't until you were both well into your year at blackmore

you only really get close until you take the same film class as tara. tara takes it because she's a film major and you take it because you need the credit and it's the only option of a class that takes place after 8 in the morning

you sit right next to each other and for the whole semester, you two slowly grow closer and closer, poking each other and whispering stuff while the professor prattles on

she's the de facto film buff of the group, only rivalled by mindy, and so you go to her whenever you're working on a project, because you're definitely the type to watch stupid shit, and not the high-brow film stuff the class requires

it means you end up hanging out a lot, at the library, at the coffee shop, on the couch of her apartment. you both set up the '1 for 1' rule, in which she gets to show you a movie for ever movie you get to show her

and she shows you really annoyingly good stuff, while you make her watch utter garbage. neither of you admit it, but you end up liking some of the high-brow art she pushes and she ends up having fun with the stupid movies you show her

when she makes you watch the babadook, you make her watch hot tub time machine, when she makes you watch citizen kane, you make her watch bridesmaids, and when she makes you watch la la land, you make her watch zoolander. it's a mutual exchange of interests, and you both lean against each other when you watch them on the couch or on her bed

paddington absolutely makes tara carpenter cry, there, i said it, and you show it to her and hug her when she does

things are genuinely just so easy and perfect with you, and it's so natural in a way that is unnatural for tara, but in a good way. you're unlike anyone she's ever been with, and it's refreshing and new in a way that's so exciting when you both kiss during the movie before sunrise

that's why it's so funny when your first date goes absolutely awfully

it rains on you, while you both walk to the restaurant and neither of you brought an umbrella because it wasn't projected to rain. then the sushi place you're bringing her to completely forgets your reservation and you're both waiting 30 minutes to get a table, and to top matters off, you end up being allergic to a fish you try for the first time, and need to get taken in hospital

you're not even choking really, just broken out into hives and feeling lightheaded, and tara's in the ambulance with you on the way there, and you're both talking casually, like "how was your day?"

you both get there and realise tara forgot her phone at the restaurant, and whereas anyone else would be pissed and call it a terrible date and give up, you both are fucking laughing your heads off at how cartoonishly awful the date went, even though it's a hospital, and that probably isn't the right place to be laughing in

when you're released super late that night, you both end up just wandering around new york until the late hours of the morning, just talking and occasionally holding hands. tara mentions that it reminds her of la la land, and you kiss, and what would've been a deal-breaking, awful date for anyone else just becomes something you shared with each other, and brings you even more in love

reminds me of the song ant pile by dominic fike

lorraine day

you meet lorraine as the kid of the new corn farmer in town, after your grandfather gets too old to be able to maintain his land by himself. your father has to come back and take over, due to his declining health, and you first see each other when lorraine and her daddy come to say hello and talk business for cow feed

she spots you in the back, leaning on the fence next to the field with your arms crossed and your hat pulled low, and you're just watching her and her dad talking to yours with a frown

she's set on edge by your presence, even though you're not really part of the conversation. she has to stop herself when she realises she keeps looking over at you every couple seconds, and you're still just staring at her and her father in a way that isn't exactly friendly

your dad is a generally nice guy, and he gives her your name in a passing mention and graciously accepts the pie lorraine's momma made to bring to the new partners, but it overall isn't a great first impression, and she decides right there in her daddy's truck on the ride home that she doesn't like you very much

when you're brought up again, it's by her father a week or so later. he's mentioning how helpful you are around your grandfather's farm over dinner, saying how your grandfather is blessed to have someone so good-hearted, and lorraine can’t help but remember the look of you glowering against the fence at them and doubt how true that is

she still doesn't like you, when you actually talk for the first time. RJ is bringing her home after an incredibly awkward date and gets a flat, and just as it starts to rain, guess who spots her and decides to pull over in their rusty ass pickup truck with a weird look on your face that lorraine can't help but assume is smugness

your truck bed is full of tools and supplies for your grandfather's farm and you haven't got a spare on you, but you know there's one in the shed on your farm. there's only one seat open in your truck, and even though lorraine heavily hints to RJ that she doesn't want to go, she's volunteered, as RJ doesn't want to leave his van on the side of the road, even though there's not many people who would touch the piece of junk

you snort when he insinuates that lorraine wouldn't be strong enough to fend off anyone who would take the van, and even though she's equally as miffed by RJ's assumption she's a bit annoyed by you defending her

the ride home is incredibly tense and neither of you say much until you're pulling into your yard and you say, "for the record, i highly doubt he'll be fending anyone off either." it's funny and it almost makes her laugh until she remembers she decided she didn't like you and she has to get serious again, and tells you not to talk about her boyfriend that way, and you don't say anything for the rest of the time you're helping her

she sits in the truck watching you from the wing mirror as you roll the spare out from your shed and then hoist it into the truck bed, looking sweaty and muscles tensing with effort. even though you're kind of annoying, you're tanned and you're fit, and it's something she can't help but notice whenever she goes to your farm in search of her father, who sometimes comes over to buy corn for his cattle

you both naturally start to grow into something resembling a friendship. you'll shoot the shit when you're not working, leaning on the handle of a shovel half in the ground, and lorraine will walk over and just kind of talk to you for a while. she doesn't even really realise the annoyance has melted away until it smacks her in the face that she was really wrong about you

your first date isn't actually a date until it's over. lorraine is at a lake day with her friends when one shows up with you in tow. she didn't even realise you had friends, but you're there with them and you look damn good in your swim suit, and you actually start talking a little bit about leaving the big city for your grandfather

you're all having fun, swimming around and talking, and she sees you're pretty funny when you want to be. it's kind of jarring to see just how wrong she was about you, and you both end up dancing around to your friend playing guitar and singing along

you end up being her ride home, and though there's still an underlying tension in the air, this time your truck is full of laughter and you're both actually talking. about halfway through, you accidentally let it slip that you asked your friend if lorraine was going to be there, and though the tips of your ears are red and you're apologising, lorraine can't help but reach right over and kiss you, and suddenly everything feels right in the world

cairo sweet

you meet her on the first day of creative writing, as the new student at your school, and mr. miller's seating chart places you directly next to her. she stares at you a bit, as if unimpressed by your existence, and you stare right back at her, equally as unimpressed

though you're new, you quickly skyrocket to incredible academic success, and cairo is enraged to find that with the transfer of credits, you're now really the valedictorian, sweeping it from underneath her feet at the very end of her senior year

with that, she absolutely despises you and everything you stand for

you have to trade papers for peer grading and while you calmly grade it at first, when you see that yours is covered in marks and cairo is being absolutely brutal beyond belief, nitpicking every little punctuation mark and symbol she can, you get a bit annoyed and start doing the exact same thing to her

it's a giant game of one-upping the other, and you guys repeatedly mess with each other like a chess match of fucking each other over. neither of you will admit you find the other annoyingly magnetic and captivating, you instead resort to messing with each other's standings

you both are duking it out over each little test grade, as cairo desperately tries to regain her spot at number one and you attempt to fend her off and keep your place. she'll brag about her perfect score on the calculus exam, and then you'll clap back with your extra credit. you absolutely dominate her in maths and sciences but she has you beat in creative writing and histories

winnie is greatly amused by the whole ordeal, and keeps insisting to cairo that you both should get it over with and fuck already but she scoffs and claims to resent the implication. doesn't mean she hasn't thought about it, though

her involvement with mr. miller is something she's only doing to maintain her spot as mr. miller's favourite student. cairo has the writing skill to back it up and is incredibly gifted with the pen, but you ooze a certain charisma that makes the teachers around you all giant fans, and she would be lying if she didn't say she was worried you would pull mr. miller's recommendation letter with it, and steal it right out from under her. it's entirely possible for a teacher to write more than one recommendation letter, she just wants the satisfaction of being the first one to get it

when you're partnered up on a group writing project that needs to be done in pairs, cairo sees it as the perfect opportunity to gather intel on you. another thing she hates is how mysterious you are, and how not many people actually know that much about you, other than how pleasant you are

she insists it has to happen at your house, and though you try to argue, she insists it has to be the case. it surprises her, when she puts your address into her phone and she sees it's a small one bedroom apartment in a bad part of town, without air conditioning and with terrible plumbing, and that your father works three jobs to support you

she doesn't know what she expected, but that's definitely not it, with your ability to dress and intelligence. suddenly her arch nemesis gains a third dimension, and she understands just how hard you work

though you're guarded at first, you both actually slowly discover that you don't exactly mind the other that much. you still want to keep your spot and she desperately wants it for her own, but you say something silly and it makes her laugh- really laugh- for what feels like the first time in a long time

you work together on the project more and more, and suddenly she's enjoying your company and wanting you around. she's definitely a little bit disgusted by that at first, but it's something she can't deny

she asks you on your first date to a poetry reading on a saturday, and you're a bit confused since the group project is already over, but you decide to go anyways and you have a great time. you say something profound after one of the poems, and cairo's eyes just drop to your lips in a weird amazement

she's dragging you to the bathroom immediately before the next poem can even start, and i don't think i have to say what happens next, but it's messy and there's lipstick everywhere

your father snorts when you get home that night, and there's dark red lipstick smudged all over your lips and a bit down your neck, and you roll your eyes at him with a smile

[fatecantstopme]

Better Together

Pairing: Rafael Barba x reader

Summary: Barba acts like he hates you because it's the only way he can keep his cool in your presence. Things come to a head and you call him out on it...

Warnings: cursing, Rafael is a bit of a dick at first. Use of nicknames (baby, cariño, querida, etc.). SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

A/N: Spanish translations in brackets/italics after each sentence.

cariño/querida: sweetheart/dear/darling/baby/etc.

por favor: please

qué: what

hermosa: beautiful/gorgeous

"Right...and what makes you qualified to make that determination?"

You glared at him. "Eight years of education and ten years of practice."

"Fine, but how long did you actually talk to him?" he countered.

"Four hours."

"So now you're an expert in his mental health?"

You groaned. "He belongs in a psychiatric facility, Barba. Not a prison."

"I disagree. He raped and murdered five women."

"I'm not defending his actions, but I'm telling you he's incapable of understanding the consequences of his actions."

"She's right, counselor," Olivia Benson cut in. "I got the same feeling she did when I first talked to him."

Rafael Barba let out an annoyed huff. "Fine. What do you propose?"

"Offer him a deal," she suggested. "Send him where he can get the help he needs."

Barba nodded, expression still slightly annoyed. "Fine." With that, he walked out of the precinct, presumably to go write up a deal.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, you turned to your friend and colleague. "He argues with me for ten minutes straight, but you tell him the same damn thing and he immediately agrees?"

Olivia shrugged. "You know how he is."

"Pompous, arrogant, rude, and downright insulting?"

She laughed. "All of the above, but he's also a pretty damn good ADA."

You sighed. "I would absolutely love to disagree with you, but you're not wrong. Part of me hates that he's so good at his job. And I hate his smug face and his attitude and those damn three piece suits he looks so goddamn good in," you finished your ramble with a groan.

"Maybe if you told him you thought he was hot, he'd be nicer to you," Olivia said with a wink.

"I hate you."

She laughed. "No you don't."

"Fine, I don't, but I will do no such thing. He quite clearly despises me."

"Does he?"

"Does who what?" Nick Amaro asked as he entered the squad room.

"Does Barba hate (Y/N)?" Olivia asked.

Nick chuckled. "Without a doubt."

"See?!" you said smugly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to talk to him. Tell him off for being such an ass to you all the time."

"Now that I agree with," Nick cut in.

"If he pushes the right buttons, I will."

**********

Little did you know that two days later, Barba would push the exact right button.

Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Fin, and yourself were gathered in the squad room discussing your latest case. You had two dead girls in two days and 1PP was already breathing down your necks.

You were going over the profile with the team when Barba walked in. "I know it sounds crazy, guys, but I believe the perp is a girl...probably the same age as the victims."

"Why?" Fin asked.

As you started to explain your reasoning, to include the lack of sexual assault, the relationship between the two girls, and the anger clearly present in the attacks, Barba cut you off with a harsh laugh.

"You think a 10 year old girl is capable of inflicting that kind of trauma?" he interjected. "There's no way."

You took a deep breath in through your nose and exhaled from your mouth before responding. You needed those ten seconds to calm yourself so you didn't murder him. "Were you ever a 10 year old girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Obviously not."

"Are you a forensic psychologist?"

"Again, no."

"Have you been working violent sex crimes for 10 years?"

"No..."

"Then be quiet and listen," you finished harshly.

You'd never snapped at him quite so intensely before and he was taken aback. He was also very aware that he may have taken it a little too far this time. He'd made it a point to keep you at arm's length (or farther) for the past 6 months, and he was belatedly realizing he may have been too cruel.

You finished your profile, answering the questions posed by the rest of the squad, before everyone went about their assigned duties.

Barba announced he was going back to his office to update the DA and you were thankful to be rid of him.

"Maybe you were right, (Y/N)," Olivia said softly. "He either hates you or he hates shrinks."

"Likely both."

"I'm proud of you for clapping back," Amanda said warmly. "Someone's gotta put that guy in his place every once in a while."

You smiled mirthlessly. "Once this case is over, I may have more to say to him, but for now, let's focus on finding the person who killed those girls."

**********

Three days later and you had your suspect in custody. You'd been right in your assessment of the perp...it turned out to be a 10 year old girl who had been relentlessly teased and bullied by the two victims for an entire year. The girl finally snapped and killed them both in a blind rage.

After hearing all of the terrible things that had been done to her, you felt sorry for the girl. You understood why she'd killed those girls, even if you didn't condone it.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," Fin called. "We're going out for drinks. My treat."

"I think I'll take a rain check guys...I've got something I need to do."

"Awww no fun," Amanda teased.

Olivia gave you a look, but you smiled at her reassuringly. She took it to mean you were okay, so she followed the others out.

You'd decided to pay a very special visit to a certain ADA...

You arrived at his office 20 minutes later, and you belatedly realized you probably should have checked to see if he was even there still. It was already after 6pm, but you hoped since he was a workaholic, he would be unaware of the late hour.

When you reached his office door, you found yourself taking a deep breath. You started to question yourself and whether this was a good idea, but then you thought about the way he'd been treating you and you got a burst of courage.

You knocked on his door and waited. You heard a slightly annoyed "Come in", so you opened the door and stepped into his office.

Barba looked up from the paperwork he was buried in, a look of surprise ghosting over his face. "Dr. (Y/L/N)...to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You shut the door behind you and took a step towards his desk. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you have a problem with me, specifically, or is it psychologists in general?"

"I don't have a problem with psychologists."

"So it's me, got it. Do you mind telling me what the hell I did to you?"

He had the grace to look sheepish. "You didn't do anything to me."

"Then why do you treat me like I'm some sort of imbecile?"

"I...I never intended to make you feel that way," he said honestly.

"Really? How did you intend to make me feel? You belittle me, insult my abilities and my intelligence, you're unnecessarily rude to me in front of my colleagues..." you trailed off.

He rose from his seat and came around the front of his desk. His expression was unreadable, but his shoulders had slumped slightly. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually felt bad for the way he'd been treating you.

"You're right," he admitted. "I have treated you entirely unfairly."

It was your turn to look surprised. Out of all the things you'd expected him to say, an admission of guilt was certainly not one of them.

"I don't want you to think, for even a moment, that I don't think you're brilliant. You are the sharpest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and you're downright phenomenal at your job."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before you could formulate a coherent response. "How in the hell was I supposed to know that?"

He blushed and cast his gaze to the floor. "I suppose there was no way for you to know, given the way I've treated you."

"Why, then?" you asked softly.

He sighed deeply and ran his hand over his face. "It's--complicated."

"Enlighten me, Barba. I've got time."

His green eyes raised back up to meet yours and you found yourself nearly breathless--and not for the first time. His eyes were beautiful, typically sparkling with whit and mischief; but in this moment, they shone with emotions so complex you couldn't begin to comprehend them.

"I never intended to be cruel to you, only distant. But I found that being aloof wasn't enough to keep you at bay--I needed something stronger. So...I started treating you as if I hated you. It was just easier, and perhaps safer."

"Safer?"

He nodded, but neglected to clarify. "Keeping you out of my life has become a necessity, Dr. (Y/L/N)."

His formality annoyed you, but you didn't comment on it. "Then why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me?"

He groaned and turned back to his desk to pour himself a glass of scotch. "Because it's not true, and I'm many things, but a liar isn't one of them."

"Okay, but you want nothing to do with me?"

"Exactly."

"You do understand how contradictory that sounds, correct?"

He took a long drink from his glass and leaned back against his desk. "It sounds moronic, yes, I am aware."

You debated your next words with care. You knew if you said what was on your mind, you might regret it, but you also knew if you didn't say it, you would regret it.

"When I met you, I was instantly intrigued by you," you began. "It was obvious you were highly intelligent, but you were also funny, charming, and impeccably well-dressed. It's a rare combination."

You crossed your arms and sighed. "At first, you were friendly and I quite liked you, but things between us turned icy in an instant. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now, but what I can tell you is it hurt me. It hurt me deeply, Barba, and it still does."

If he'd felt like an ass before, he felt 1,000 times worse now. "I never intended to hurt you," he said quietly. "You're a kind and loving soul...and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."

"You're right," you whispered. "I don't."

He winced slightly and downed the rest of his scotch. "I am truly sorry, (Y/N). More than you'll ever know."

His use of your first name was not lost on you. You could count on one hand the number of times he'd said it and you'd reacted the same way each time. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your breath caught, and your heart began to speed up.

Rafael had never noticed before...had never really paid attention to you the very few times he'd said your name, but he saw your reaction this time. For the first time since he'd met you, he began to wonder if you shared his feelings...

You quickly recovered yourself--praying he hadn't noticed. "I appreciate your apology." Your voice was slightly off pitch and you wanted to kick yourself for letting any emotion show.

"May I ask you something?" he said suddenly.

You nodded, not trusting your voice in the moment.

"You said what you thought of me when we first met--what do you think of me now?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded.

You swallowed thickly. "Everything I said is true. You're a brilliant man and an even better lawyer...and you can be funny and charming, when you want to be. But that's not the Rafael Barba I get. I get the one reserved for the criminals and defense attorneys you dislike. The ones that make your skin crawl. You're pompous, arrogant, and cruel."

He closed his eyes tightly. Hearing you say what you really thought of him was much more painful than he'd anticipated.

"But I don't believe that's who you really are," you said so softly he almost didn't hear.

He looked back up at you in surprise.

"I think it's a facade you put up--a mask you wear to hide behind."

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it intuition, or perhaps training," you said with a shrug. "Either way, I am certain you really are the man I met in the beginning--not the man you've been the past several months."

"How could you have that much faith in me? After the way I've treated you..."

"Perhaps it's foolish...or maybe I just want it to be true."

He stared at you with a strange look on his face. It was as if he was trying to decide if you were playing him or being sincere. His expression slowly morphed as he realized you'd meant every word you'd said.

"May I be honest with you?" he asked.

"I want nothing less."

"Truthfully, I'm terrified of you. Absolutely, 100%, completely terrified."

Your jaw dropped slightly. Once again, he’d caught you off guard.

"You got under my skin the moment I met you and I haven't been able to get rid of you since. I've never felt like this--like I can't control my own actions or my emotions--and it's petrifying. I thought pushing you away would change how I felt, but it only intensified it. I think that's why I became crueler over time--I was angry at myself and angry with you for making me feel this way. It's not fair to you, I know, but it's the truth."

You were once again shocked to the core. You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing...if you weren't so good at reading people, you'd be convinced he was lying, but as it stood, you knew it was the raw, painful truth.

"You can't control everything, you know," you said quietly.

He laughed harshly. "God, how I wish I could."

"What are you so afraid of?"

He took a moment to answer, but once he did, the words poured out of him. "I'm afraid the way I feel about you will ruin both of our careers. I'm afraid that once you see the man behind the mask, you'll run and leave me broken. I'm afraid that we'll fall apart...that we won't stand the test of time. I'm afraid of falling so deeply in love with you that I lose myself completely. But most of all, I'm afraid that I've already screwed this up beyond repair."

For all your education and all the eloquent words you've learned in your lifetime, you found yourself stunned into complete and utter silence. No words came to mind, no coherent thoughts emerged. You stared at him and he stared at you, as the silence dragged on.

After what had to be an eternity, Rafael spoke again. "Please say something. Anything. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Tell me you'd rather jump off a building than be with me--"

"Stop!" The intensity of your demand silenced him. "Just stop talking…I…I can't find the words I want to say, but I do know one thing: I'm not afraid."

Out of all the things you could have said, all the beautiful sentences you could have strung together, those three words were the perfect response. Fueled with sudden courage, Rafael crossed the space between the two of you in three long strides, coming to a stop a few inches from you.

With a shaking hand, he gently stroked your cheek. "May I?" he asked quietly.

Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his and you softly begged, "Please."

He leaned into you, lips pressing against yours with soft insistence. The kiss ignited something within you--a desire so deep and powerful it almost frightened you. You grabbed ahold of his suspenders and tugged his body closer to yours as you deepened the kiss.

Rafael moaned softly against your lips, tongue pressing forward, requesting access. You obliged, lips parting to allow him entry. His hands traveled down your soft curves until they landed on your hips. He used his gentle strength to pull you flush against him, his own body backed up against his desk to support him.

You could feel his need for you in his kiss, in his touch...and in his pants. His growing erection was pressed against you, so close to where you wanted him, yet so far away.

Rafael broke the kiss for a moment. "Carmen left for the day."

"Mhmm," you hummed in response.

"But I don't want our first time together to be on the couch in my office."

"How 'bout the desk?" you teased lightly.

He groaned. "Don't think I haven't imagined it, but I'd like to take you home...do this properly--in a bed."

You stared at him for a moment. "If we stay here, it can be casual, unassuming. If I go home with you...that changes everything."

"I don't want casual. I don't want a fling. I want you--and everything that comes along with that."

You studied him closely before responding. You noted the sincerity in his voice and his expression and decided to--for once--allow your heart to lead your decision. "Take me home, Rafael," you whispered.

He breathed deeply, as if trying to control himself. It appeared that you had the same effect on him as he did on you when you called him by his first name.

He didn't say a word--you weren't even sure he could have if he'd wanted to. He simply grabbed his jacket, took your hand, and practically dragged you to the elevator. Once outside, he hailed a cab and helped you into the backseat before sliding in beside you.

As the cab began to move, you rested your hand on Rafael's thigh. He glanced at you, but didn't say anything. You were feeling bold, so you slid your hand slowly up his thigh, inching closer to his evident arousal.

When your fingertips brushed against his clothed cock, he hissed slightly. He leaned over to whisper into your ear so the cab driver wouldn't hear. "Careful, querida. O puedo perder el control [Or I may lose control]."

You inhaled sharply--something about his tone mixed with the hushed Spanish words, sent a jolt of pure arousal straight to your core.

Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Rafael. He smirked as he discovered one of your kinks. He tucked the knowledge away for later use.

You managed to behave yourself for the rest of the short ride to his apartment, but once inside the building, all bets were off.

His lips were on yours the moment the elevator doors slid closed, pressing your body firmly against the wall. Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing up the perfect locks.

As the elevator dinged and the doors began to open, you reluctantly pulled away from each other. You saw the desperation in his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same look reflected in yours.

He wasted no time guiding you to his apartment and the moment you were both inside, he had you spun around and pressed up against the door.

“Querida,” he whispered hungrily against your lips, fingertips dancing under your shirt.

You moaned softly as you tugged harshly on his suspenders, pushing them out of the way so you could remove his shirt.

Within moments, your clothes and his were strewn across the house as he carried you to his bedroom, nothing left between you but underwear.

Rafael tossed you gently onto the bed before climbing on top of you. He eyed you hungrily—sprawled out beneath him, desire evident on your face.

“You are perfect, hermosa.”

You blushed. “Rafa…”

He groaned. “Fuck. Don’t do that.”

Confusion clouded your expression. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong…

He’d closed his eyes and his face gave away the internal struggle he was experiencing.

Realization suddenly crossed your features and you grinned. You gently raked your nails down his chest as you murmured the nickname again, “Rafa.”

His eyes shot open and he rutted his hips against yours, mouth pressing wet kisses to your heated skin. His teeth nipped at your neck and collarbone, leaving love bites in his wake.

He was taking his time with you. Wanting to explore every part of you, taste every inch of your skin, catalogue every detail in his mind.

You whimpered softly, not used to such attention, nor such deliberate slowness. “Rafael, please.”

He looked up at you with his trademark smirk. “You ever been with a Hispanic man before, Cariño?”

You blushed and shook your head.

His smirk widened. “We like to take our time, make sure our lady is properly loved and appreciated. This is about your enjoyment, (Y/N/N), not mine.”

“I want you to enjoy yourself too…”

He kissed you gently. “You keep making those pretty sounds for me, querida, and I promise you, I’ll enjoy myself.”

You found yourself unable to respond as he continued his slow descent towards your core. Each gentle caress of his lips against your skin seemed to set your nerve endings on fire--the need within you growing exponentially.

You whined prettily, hips shifting upwards, desperately seeking his lips where you needed them most. "Please," you begged.

You didn't know it yet, but Rafael would never deny you--not in the real world, nor the bedroom. The moment he heard your soft voice begging, he glanced up at your face. You already looked so far gone--your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, your cheeks flushed, and your breathing was ragged. He smiled to himself as he lowered his head, giving you no time to adjust as he dove into you with abandon.

You gasped as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. As skilled as the man between your legs was in the courtroom, he was even better suited with his mouth hungrily devouring you.

In the span of mere minutes, he'd turned you into a gasping, moaning mess--every one of your senses overwhelmed with feeling.

"Rafa--I--I'm close," you gasped.

He hummed against you, lips wrapping around your clit to increase his assault. His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, holding you in place as he sped up his ministrations.

Your jaw dropped as a flurry of sounds--some of which were intended to be his name--slipped from your lips. Your orgasm sent wave after wave of intense pleasure through your body, but that pleasure soon turned to sensitivity.

"Rafa, too much--" you whispered as you tried to pull away from him.

He laid his arm across your lower belly, effectively holding you in place as his mouth continued to work you. His eyes flicked up to yours to check if you really did want him to stop, but your head was already thrown back, chest rising and falling rapidly as the familiar knot tightened in your stomach.

The moment your cries turned to moans and pleas to continue, Rafael stopped and lifted his head. "Did you want me to stop, querida?"

"No!" you cried loudly, fingers grasping his hair in an attempt to guide him back where you wanted him.

He smirked as he complied with your direction, lips and tongue once again sending you into a spiral of pleasure you'd never experienced before.

As you came down from your second high, Rafael finally slowed his assault and allowed you to pull his head up when it became too much.

He placed soft kisses against your heated skin, gently soothing you as the aftershocks shuddered through your body. His lips traced the curves of your face with gentle affection until your breathing had begun to normalize.

Rafael kissed you deeply, desire evident in the action. In response, your hand slowly descended down his chest and abdomen, until you reached his throbbing cock. You lightly ran your nails across the still clothed member, enticing a groan from the man above you.

You teased him for a few more seconds before sliding your hand beneath his boxer briefs and palming his cock in your warm hand. He groaned loudly--hips rutting against your hand instantly.

"I wanna taste you," you murmured against the shell of his ear.

"You don't have to..." he said softly.

There was something in his voice that caused you to pull away so you could see his face properly. He looked worried and perhaps a little apprehensive.

"But I want to," you reassured him.

"You do?"

You nodded. "It's something I enjoy very much, Rafa, so if you're okay with it, I would really like to suck your cock."

His eyes closed briefly and he moaned softly, forehead dropping against yours. "Por favor," he begged in a broken voice.

You grinned ear to ear. "Stand up."

"Qué?" he asked in confusion.

You nudged him gently and tilted your head towards the edge of the bed. "Stand up, handsome."

He did as you asked and watched in surprise as you lowered yourself to your knees on the floor in front of him. He felt like he needed to remind you again that you didn't need to do this for him, but when he saw the hunger in your eyes, he fell silent.

You slowly dragged his underwear down, freeing his cock from its constraints. You were a little surprised by his size--he was longer than average and quite thick--but surprise quickly turned to hunger.

You looked up at him, a playful smirk dancing on your lips, and all his worries faded away. It was obvious you wanted this...perhaps just as much as he did.

You wasted no time in wrapping your mouth around his cock, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, eyes never leaving his face.

You gagged slightly as he hit the back of your throat, but you pushed past it, determined to provide him with as much pleasure as you could muster.

As you began to move, his fingers intertwined in your hair and his hips stuttered forwards occasionally. You knew what he needed, but it was clear he wasn't going to do it without some prodding.

You pulled off of him with a *pop* and waited until his heavily lidded eyes met yours. "Rafael, I want you to enjoy this."

"I am, cariño," he said in confusion.

"Not as much as you could be." You licked the tip of his cock for emphasis and his hips jumped slightly. "I want you to use my mouth for your own pleasure, Rafa. That's what it's there for."

He shook his head rapidly. He'd been expressly told not to do that by several women before you.

You rubbed his thighs reassuringly. "I want this, baby. Please," you begged. "Please fuck my mouth."

The moment the words were out of your mouth, you sucked his cock back into the warmth of your lips, hoping he would take you seriously. You pressed yourself forward, pushing past the gag reflex to take his entire member into your mouth.

Without hesitation, you began to guide his hips, urging him to give in and take what he wanted--what he needed.

You flicked your gaze up to meet his and nodded your head as best you could, hands still encouraging him to move. He very tentatively began to move his hips and you smiled, fingers digging into his thighs.

When you didn't pull away, he started to put a little more force into the movements. When you still didn't pull away, he sped up, fingers wrapping in your hair to keep you still.

You let him take control, eyes still trained on his face. He slowly began to thrust in earnest, fucking your mouth like it was his favorite place to be. You watched his head fall back, moans of intense pleasure leaving his lips.

You held onto him and focused on breathing as you let him use you. A few minutes passed before his hips began to stutter and you knew he was close.

You prepared to swallow everything he had to give you, but he surprised you by pulling away, your mouth coming off of him with a *pop*.

His breathing was ragged and his eyes were wild--pupils blocking out the brilliant green. "I need you," he said, voice raw and husky.

You understood his meaning and quickly crawled back onto the bed. He was on top of you almost immediately, lips latching onto your neck, teeth nipping at your flesh.

His cock rubbed against the outside of your pussy and you both groaned.

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Do I need a condom?"

"Pill," you gasped as you shook your head. "Wanna feel you fill me up, Rafa."

He let out a low growl and his eyes turned even more feral. He gave you no warning as he plunged his cock deep inside of you, stretching you in ways you'd never been stretched before.

"Rafael!" you cried out at the sensation.

Normally he would have forced himself to give you time to adjust, but his mind was too far gone. He set a brutal pace almost instantly and you were simply along for the ride.

There were so many new sensations that you were having a hard time staying focused. Everything just felt so incredible.

Your pussy throbbed around him, pulling him in even deeper. "Te sienetes muy bien, querida." [You feel so good, sweetheart.]

You moaned loudly, nails digging into his back as you arched against him.

"Te gusta cuando te hablo español, ¿no?" he growled into your ear. [You like it when I speak Spanish to you, don't you?"]

"Yes!" you gasped.

"Chica sucia," he chuckled darkly. [Dirty girl.]

"Rafa, please--I'm so close."

He groaned. "Quiero que vengas conmigo, cariño," he mumbled. [I want you to cum with me, sweetheart.] "Can you do that for me?" he asked in English.

You nodded your head rapidly.

"Esa es mi buena chica," he praised. [That's my good girl.]

You moaned lowly, preening at his praise. He smiled and picked up his pace, not wanting to stop until he felt you fall apart. "So close," he mumbled.

"Don't--stop!"

He knew you were close--could tell by the way your pussy fluttered around him--so he whispered, "Cum for me, baby."

You cried out as your orgasm hit you with more force than either of the two you'd had earlier. Rafael groaned your name as he spilled his seed within you, filling you up as your walls milked him dry.

You both began to come down from your highs, the intensity of your orgasms taking the wind out of both of you. Rafael pulled out and collapsed beside you, completely spent and satiated.

"That was pretty decent," you said between breaths.

He snapped his head in your direction and started to laugh when he saw the mischief in your eyes.

You grinned and joined in on his laughter, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer to him.

"Very decent," he muttered against your hair.

You laughed again. "'Fucking incredible' would be a more accurate description."

"I couldn't agree more." He sighed softly. "I don't wanna move."

"Who says we have to?"

"We probably should...we do have work in the morning after all."

Your body tensed slightly and he felt it, realizing how his previous statement may have sounded. "I want you to stay, querida. I'm just saying we should probably get up and shower before we fall asleep."

You relaxed. "You may have to carry me."

He chuckled and dragged himself out of bed, pulling you along with him. He scooped you up despite your protests and carried you to the bathroom, placing you on the counter while he started the shower.

"I was kidding, Rafa!"

He smiled. "If my girl can walk immediately after sex, then I did something wrong. I'm always happy to carry you."

You smiled back at him, realizing he was completely serious. You watched him quietly, completely lost in thought.

"Where's your mind, querida?" he asked softly.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. "I'm happy...that's all."

Rafael kissed you gently. "Me too, hermosa. Now come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Once you were both clean and dry, he carried you back to his bed and laid you down gently before crawling into the bed beside you. He tugged you in closely against his chest and you sighed contentedly.

"Go to sleep, cariño. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

Somehow he seemed to know exactly what you needed to hear. Knowing he wasn't going anywhere and feeling his strong arms wrapped around you, allowed you to feel a calm peace you'd not felt in years.

Within minutes, you'd drifted off to sleep in his arms. Just before he fell asleep too, Rafael kissed the top of your head and whispered, "Te adoro con locura." [I adore you madly.]

[idyllcy]

cressie's archive : drafts/unposted

here is EVERY SINGLE UNFINISHED DEVELOPED DRAFT I have :3

Danganronpa

cruel summer // wrecked at sea

The setting sun paints you in red, the image terrifying yet so comforting to the boy. You look like the devil. Komaeda hears the sound of the boat approaching the dock in the background. "I'll see you in five years, Komaeda."

prom queen // ultimate pageant queen reader

Servant watches, heart heavy, mind a mess. That was supposed to be him. He's supposed to be the one to serve you. He feels you had taken what he said personally. It wasn't like he was wrong, but maybe he did need to apologize for not taking your emotions seriously.

white (lies) // eating disorder

You despise the taste of food on your lips, yet you lie to Teruteru about how delicious his cooking was. Komaeda hates people like you

(untitled) // yokai au // dead dove do not eat

Komaeda sighs as he turns into a human, and he grumbles. He didn't want to hex the area, but if he's going to have to find you, then so be it. If you die because of some unfortunate accident again, he's going to kill himself for real this time. 

and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun // pt of gambling au

Komaeda works to pay back that debt. Would you still pick him if he wasn't yours by force?

gold // isekaied reader

Chiaki clings onto you, unsure as to why you ran so fast, yet she spots her classmates rushing after you while you run. She sees the interest that flashes across Kamukura's face. She notices the ragged breath you run downhill with. Chiaki doesn't know what you're so scared of; yet, as you slam the door behind you, breath ragged, tears streaming, Chiaki thinks she knows.

(untitled) // future foundation ultimate god reader

Hinata is right. You don't like the look you took to be in the foundation. It crawls at your skin uncomfortably, and it looks nothing like how you were supposed to look. What happened to your hair? Your face? Your skin and limbs? You miss when you never took a form.

from elysium, with love // hades game au

With a spin of your robe, you're gone. Hinata stares at where you once were, and he does wonder how you do what you do. The incarnate of death. Hinata liked the cold of death. Your touch was welcome on his warm skin, even more so to his legs which burn of the lakes of Tartarus. The touch of death was welcome to him.

hype boy // food vlogger + college // dual pov fic

while vlogging at the newest cafe on campus, you pay Hinata $15 to bite and record him swallowing the coffee puck. He goes viral as a result.

DC

was it real or just for show? // engaged

You fly out because Tim Drake doesn't care for you anyway. Why is he so adamant about finding you if he doesn't give a shit and returns late all the time?

i want you for worse or for better // mercenary + royal

First Prince Dick Grayson has just had his engagement broken. That very night, he shows up at the pub you work at, drowning out his sorrows in enough liquor to kill an elephant

Red 19 // gambling + casino

Coin in your hand and wealth given to the neighborhood, you wonder if Red Hood is truly as unbreakable as everyone makes him out to be.

"Let's get married" // arranged marriage + soulmates // COMPLETED

When Tim's soulmate is slapped at a Wayne Gala, it seems natural that he should abuse soulmate laws and force them out of their abusive house. Too bad you're adamant about killing yourself.

High school, hi school // high school

Damian only knows you as the other artist in his class. When he crashes into your apartment on accident mid-fight, he worries you'll speak up on it. You don't, and when he turns you down at graduation, the story is supposed to end there.

surface, subface // hades game au

Tim doesn't remember why he still breaks out when his mother is already home? What is it? What is he missing? Why is there an aide managing mother's cottage now?

to live, to love, to lie // metahuman reader

You spend most of your time partying. Being overstimulated and numb was better than being understimulated and numb. A walking phonebook. A walking encyclopedia. Kon finds you partying one night, and one look is all he needs to grab you.

you're not mine // exes au

Tim never got to tell you he was Red Robin when you were dating, so he takes advantage of that and visits your art studio at night to hang out. Nevermind the fact that he was in the middle of divorce processions with his wife or whatever.

Tears of Themis

emerald green // arranged marriage

Years ago, Vyn remembers the feeling of his hand in yours, and both of you are unhappy. In current day, he navigates the murky waters of his feelings for you with you back with him.

Lovebrush Chronicles / For All Time

lion // high school au

When Lars transfers to your school, his flamboyancy evokes eyes from everyone — Including you. You long to be free like him.

Resident Evil / Biohazard

red means i love you // mutual stalking

"Almost forgot you." You grab the teddy, holding it by the hand as you turn it to face the wall in the bathroom. "I still don't appreciate you watching me and not letting me see you, y'know, Ada?" You start the shower, feeling for it as you huff. "What's the fun in sending you lego roses each day with cameras inside if you only keep them at your counter?"

the dead haunt the dead // government agent + plagas

"Are you here to finally kill me?" You stare at Leon, same plagas scars on your face, eyes now the same color as Saddler's prior to his death. Leon can't pull the trigger.

(untitled) // medieval knight Leon // COMPLETED

The fire crackles in your eyes, ashes burning and shattering as you stare, words tumbling out of your heart, eyes weary with an age that should not be possible to you. You look both wounded and aged. Leon has only ever seen those eyes on the men who live til sixty, white visible in both their hair and eyes, old age consuming them until they are a shell of their previous self. You should not be capable of such emotion.

american dream // Nouveau Riche + Gatsby 1920s Leon

Leon Scott Kennedy lacks nothing. A pool the size of Lake Michigan, a tennis court the size of an acre, a bathroom the size of a factory. Leon Scott Kennedy lacks nothing.

Call of Duty

signed puck: signed, luck // Hockey AU Simon Riley

He wants a minx? You'll give him one.

Hades Game

son of apollo, lover of none

Ion is in your care, and Apollo begs that you stay

No promises any of this gets finished but this is for anyone who's ever been curious abt how much shit ends up in the graveyard also feel free to leave a comment or ask if u really want me to finish smth from this list bc like everything here is alr like 2k+ words

[http-finnick]

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫

finnick odiar x fem!reader

summary: after the war, your whereabouts are a mystery left with missing next to it. finnicks days are gloomy without his love as jealous friends burden him.

request: hi I love your finnick stories so much!! i really like reading them ♥️ i saw requests are open an was wondering if you could do a finnick x reader where its after the war and he thinks shes dead but later finds out she’s alive and he’s just happy and excited to plan their life together? thank you ♥️

I dont..miss her. it's strange. I- I want her here it's just..I feel like I've lost something..like I'll find it soon. It'll be in arms reach soon, just...wait. that's all. wait.

"you're grieving. It's denial" his head pops up to see a red-headed woman cross her legs, he almost forgot he was saying that all out loud

"she isn't missing, Finnick, she isn't at arms reach. She's dead." Annie moves her hair behind her ear before resting her head on her hand, staring at his expression, for a reaction to her statement

"some shrink you are." he scoffs, he hates how she's talking. she isn't dead. she cant be.

"...finnick" pity. her tone is pitiful and there's nothing he despises more. he struggles to find logic to support his calm as he fumbles from rage

"no body."

"what?" "no body. no proof. she could be alive" now he stares straight at her. her wide brown eyes flashing a sign of annoyance before being coated with a wave of seriousness.

"we went over this. you need to look at the facts-" "I am. no body." now he's getting defense, how could she say that? wheres her hope? she never gives up on anyone why would she give up on you so quickly?

"you called me a shrink. I'm not. I'm a friend and you need to listen to me as that. mourn her. do it now before you hold onto her forever"

.

she's gone. I know that now. I don't talk about her anymore, annie doesn't like the noise. mostly to myself when I want to reminisce on good memories that just end up with me crying in the bathroom like a pathetic wimp. sometimes I think to talk about her to annie but she just tells me to let go of her. but I can't.

the 5 stages of grief. Annie told me about that. is confusion one? I feel confused.

I sit on the island counter as I hear fabric on fabric, it's the dress of annie swiping against itself as she walks in to check on me.

"hey, you okay?" she leans against the wall, fiery red hair longer than ever as she awaits my answer

"uhh, yeah, yeah." brushing it off as I sit up, she isn't satisfied. he knows but it isn't the time.

"wanna talk about it?" seriously? he can? and to think she hated the noise

"it'd be nice" he answered sniffing slightly as he was already getting emotional

"what's the matter?" she sits down and motions for him to do as well, he hesitates, feeling more in control of the situation by standing and looking away, but, he sits.

"uh, I'm really am missing her a lot more" he watched her chew her cheek and he starts to feel claustrophobic. is he a burden? an annoyance to bring up the past? to dwell so heavily?

"what are you hanging onto so much?" her tone is soft but he knows spitfire when he hears it, he smiles and bites his bottom lip, he knew it was too good to be true.

"what?" shes clueless. utterly clueless and he's about to snap

"no it's just, wow."

"..wow?"

"you tell me to mourn but I'm never allowed to!" he smiles while sitting up, completely done. over her bullshit and looking for a fight

"well, mourning isn't clinging onto things fin." she hits right back, ready to get this over with and go to bed.

"what the hell is wrong with you? I- I have no one to fucking talk to!"

"you aren't here when you talk! you are somewhere else living in the past and you can't hear anyone when they tell you the truth!"

"oh- oh so what this truth?" he pushes her, ready for her to say, daring her to.

"that she's dead and you need to get over that." she strikes for the kill and it fucking hurts. he bites his tongue as she scoffs and tries to form a semi-redeemable apology that he knows he just bullshit

"no. I need you to get the fuck out." he waves his hand mindlessly towards the door as he stares at the floor, feeling blood pool into his mouth from biting his tongue a little too hard

.

two of the most important women are gone from his life and he only has a chance with one of them.

he wears dress pants and a button-up with flowers he picked this morning. he needs at least for this to work out.

he slides the bouquet onto the counter and lets his fingers run through his fluffy locks as he opens the fridge, trying to find some drinks they can have together as he scans the empty cold box.

he throws his head back at the sound of the rippling scream of his phone, he can't deal with post-capitol shit right now.

he swings his feet and grabs the telephone off the wall, stating his name and 'hi' as he waits

a woman chimes in on the other line stating herself and her authority as she starts to say things he doesn't really understand, numbers of times and dates, he doesn't do appointments or capitol press anymore

"wait- wait. I'm sorry, what?"

"for ms.l/n, when will you arrive for her?" he drops the phone as his throat closes up. they found her. they found her. they found her.

her body.

pickup. they want me to come to get her. his knees became weak and he slid to the floor, only now hearing her voice asking for him as it dangled next to his shaking body

he grabs it and puts it up to his ear, his voice cracking as he asks what date, time, and location to...pick her up.

he couldn't help but notice the way she talked about 'ms.l/n' in a slight past tense. he wanted confirmation for the longest time but it was bittersweet knowing she was actually gone. no fuck that. it's bitter it hurts like hell. it feels like the day he found out she was gone and panicked looking for her, though this time actually finding a body. he isn't gonna let Annie's "coping 101" infect his brain now. he is in pain. he feels like he is dying.

his love is gone. It's been months of her gone but now she's gone.

the train ride was silent as he just sat there in shock the whole time. he was lucky enough to get one today. he hopes they are wrong, hoping when he walks in it'll be someone else.

he stumbles into the hospital, telling the nurses about the call and about the woman on the other line. they tell him a room number and he floats there without question.

he notices how the room isn't leading to a morgue but rather a patient room. maybe it's full. maybe they found her with other missing troops.

and turns the door and cracks it open, he can't stop himself to shut his eyes tightly as he hopes shes is in a zipped body bag at least

he opens his eyes right when he walks in.

there. it's you. no doubt.

it's you sitting up. you're alive.

"y-y/n?"

"holy shit finnick..you're all dressed up for me?" how, how could you joke at this time? how can you joke at all? you were dead. he thought you died he-

he sprints towards you and hugs you tightly, tears flowing from his eyes as he smells you, feels you, loves you again

"I- I thought you died.."

"me too" you mumble feeling your own tears slip out as he weeps against you. you're safe.

"I love you, I love you so much" he cries out, not daring to pull away from you but you manage to lift him up just enough to be face-to-face with him. you kissed him softly, his lips familiar and warm

"I love you too"

you're thin and bruised. utterly beaten down by nature as your busted lip smiles at him, and he knows no matter how long you were lost you were the same old you deep down.

"let's get married. let's get married and move anywhere you want." he smiles, thinking of living with you in the meadow, alone, just the two of you.

"woah, next you're gonna say let's make a million babies" you giggle, pretending like you weren't about to say the same thing.

"not quite a million my love but close to it" he laughs and you fall into it as well. wiping your tears with your free hand had only now noticed how hard your other hand was gripping his

"I missed your laugh so much" he sniffs, tears still spilling out as he smiles at you

"I missed everything about you so much" you dip back in to kiss him and he goes right to it, hugging you deeply as he thinks about how soon you'll be his wife. soon he'll be your husband and soon you two will have a life. a real one.

an: I hope this is okay! I added Annie drama on accidentally lmao. I hope I didn't pace it weirdly and I hope I was able to catch how Finnick was feeling at least a little well. like he knew deep down she was alive but he was just mourning her absent presence. I hope you guys enjoyed it! mwah, love you so much!

[mmogurl]

So, last night I finally got through Daemon's arc in Fire and Blood.. There are going to be major spoilers in this post, so only click -keep reading- if you have read it already.. or don't care if I spoil it by talking frankly about its contents! I will be discussing Rhaenyra as well as Aemond. **SPOILERS!! IF YOU KEEP READING! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

So, I am just completely wrecked by his ending and how Rhaenyra basically pushes him to it with her psychotic, stupid ways. I mean.. I strongly disliked Rhaenyra after the show, before even reading the book (especially after that fight where she says she can't trust him which is not in the book). But now after reading it, I utterly despise her! She's awful! Horrible.. and the worst kind of stupid! It's like, she just goes kind of nuts, but nobody notices that she has. But it's so obvious that she is not thinking clearly, that or she truly doesn't care about anyone or anything.. Like they are all just pawns to her, dogs to use. But then she doesn't even know how to move them properly on the board - hence my calling her stupid.. I feel like her response of ordering Nettles death was the last nail in the coffin for Daemon, and he was just like.. Fuck this shit.. I mean she literally says, she doesn't care if the lord there takes her head in her sleep.. and she slept with Daemon! Can you imagine that shit?? And this is after she said it's perfectly ok for him to sleep around with Mysaria while Rhaenyra is seemingly uninterested in him, so it's not like she was jealous. But, it seemed like he might have actually cared for Nettles and so he sends her away to save her from all the fucking madness surrounding Rhaenyra and by proxy himself... The line where he and Aemond are talking and the young prince says he's lived long enough.. where Daemon simply replies.. "On that much we can agree," is just so telling.

Imagine having been instrumental in putting Rhaenyra on the throne only to have it become so fucked in the end. And ultimately, I don't think he has the heart to do what he SHOULD do.. which is kill her.. he just decides to go off and die an honorable death in battle like a fucking Viking warrior going off to Valhalla.. But it's so bittersweet.. I hated it.. hated how it all felt like it was for nothing.. because Rhaenyra's a fucking idiot who can't listen to a god damned bit of advice from her much more experienced husband! Like, he suggests TWICE in the book to give Ulf and Hugh something to keep them happy and twice she refuses! So how does it come as a surprise when they turncoat?? But let's be realistic.. the whole Red Sowing was fucking foolhardy to begin with! Tell me, does it make sense to give the power of a god to bastards with no allegiance!? And then to not even buy their allegiance!? It's. just. stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. I'm going to be writing my fic with even more fervor now, because honestly, the entire war in the book.. What happens to Maelor, what happens at Tumbleton!? It's all a nightmare and should be avoided.. A terrible, terrible wrong that must be made right! Ugh! Rhaenyra was already an opponent in my fic - In the Shadow of Dragons. Without spoiling the story, I already have it out for her, but now it's on like fucking Donkey Kong, bitch! Ugh, and to lose Daemon and Aemond at the same time!?! X_X!!! It was at least an awesome battle and the art in the book was epic level, but they are both my favorites and now they are both dead. Now all that is left is to read about how cake eating, psycho Rhaenyra gets overthrown. I am currently at the part where King's Landing has gone into revolt.. and I'm thinking it won't be pretty for her when it happens. And there's another thought.. when you see everything awful that happens under Rhaenyra's rule, one cannot help but consider.. That even Aegon might have done a better job!

/End Rant

[dootznbootz]

Don't get me wrong, I hate the telegony with every FIBER of my being. HOWEVER!! I feel like there's so much yummy angst potential with Odypen.

Like?? Imagine Penelope holding Odysseus' dead body. And it reminds her so much of when he'd fall asleep in her arms, in their bed holding an infant Telemachus. Because little baby Telemachus wouldn't stop crying so he had to be held in his papa's arms :3

But he's still crying to this day,, crying in the background, sobbing, hugging his mother from behind as she's holding her dead husband. Her husband that she waited 20 YEARS for. Her husband that's literally been threw hell and BACK, yet who never gave up because he wanted to see HER and their SON!!

He could've stayed with Calypso, he could've stayed with Kirke, he could've. But he DIDN'T. And I know damn well the moment he came back, and she saw him, she SAW on his face he's been threw shit. And imagine that, imagine the pain of someone you love more than the Sun experiencing that. Imagine that, and they did all of that, to see you.

People undermine that Penelope loves Odysseus just as much as Odysseus loves Penelope. It's been 20 years. She had every right to assume he's gone or get remarried. But she didn't. She had faith the entire time.

And she waited so long, and he went threw so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching.

And for Telemachus, who never even KNEW his father. To suddenly see him again, to see how happy his mother is, how happy he is. Just for some bastard he has to call his half-brother to kill him. Telemachus knew so little of his father, only the stories Penelope told him. And now, sadly, it'll stay that way.

Telemachus and Penelope would fucking despise Telegonus. They've been waiting so long for this man, and this man has waited and had to go threw so much. All three of them did not go threw all that just for Telegonus to kill him. I don't care if it was an 'accident'. It doesn't matter if the killer didn't want to do it, it matter's that the victim's family lost someone they FUCKING LOVED.

Penelope would NEVER marry Telegonus, and Telemachus would never marry Kirke.

But Odysseus death gives us some JUICY angst. I hate it. But good god it scratches that angst-loving part of my brain SO GOOD. 😼

Feel free not to answer since this is a rather long ask/ramble :'D And ye, take care Mad! <3

Oh, also, just so it's not ALL just angst, a few Penelope and Baby Telemachus headcanons/shenanigans? They mean the world to both Odysseus AND me 🥹

So, this is a really fun ask...But I don't think you're going to get the answer you'd like from me :')

As many folks know, I am a big lover of fluff and very soft stuff. I have angst but even then I would consider it more hurt/comfort in a way as I do plan for the "comfort" to be what's most important :) I also just think of "angst" as just the "something that makes sense storywise".

The Tele-GONE-y to me, is just blatent whump. Not really my cup of tea.

Also the Tele-GONE-y has the whole bullshit about Odysseus doing fuck all in random war, getting married and having children with a random af woman, before coming back to get killed. So that's just...ew. All of it is ew.

And I don't even like the idea of Telegonus existing in any form. At most, Telegonus would only exist in my mind as Polites' son. (not based on Epic at all. This Polites is my own special guy. He's my lil weird goober of my own design reeeeee) My dear friend thehelplessmortals is the only person who I feel explores it in a way that makes sense to me and seems canon.

As you put it into words:

"And she waited so long, and he went through so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching."

And it's just TOO heartwrenching for me :') I can't do it. It's honestly such a horrifying scenario that I got nauseous the first time I heard about it. (that's not even getting into the gross out of character marriage circle and Odysseus fucking around away from his family)

For me, I cannot see Circe (my Circe definitely) as a mother regardless. She wasn't made for motherhood. Also Odysseus and her only have sex once in my writing in exchange for his men to be turned back into humans. (as it's only stated explicitly once in the Odyssey)

The Odyssey also says that Odysseus' line only has one son each. That's Telemachus. (OdyPen can have a daughter though! >:3 Girldad Odysseus is very tasty for me)

If you're just into the angst of Odysseus' death, I got a bit of that though :'D

Penelope being 75% Naiads will live a long life. And Odysseus, being her husband, gets the advantages of having a magic Water wifey and that affects him in how he will live a long life as well (Calypso also gave him ambrosia/nectar to keep him alive. as he was nearly dead when he washed up.)

BUT. He is mostly mortal. He lives way beyond what is normal for Mortals but still.

His hair now fully gray. His breathing raspy and slow. He's slow to move...

Penelope lives a bit afterward. Sleeping and taking comfort in their nest that cradles her as she sleeps. She feels him everywhere. She grieves him endlessly.

Their nest starts to wilt. Only when she goes too does it come alive again.

And for some random Penelope and Telemachus headcanons :P

Nereids have lined bioluminescence, while NAIADS have spots. Like the black spots on the beloved rainbow trout 🥹 (they don't have the black spots. they just have spots that glow in their own control lol)

Telemachus gets "spots" from both his mama (naiad scales/glowbit) and his papa (freckles) 🥹

It's what they use to communicate underwater. And it's nice because even if you're not full naiad and don't have as many scales, you can still communicate as it's about the flickers :3 (Odysseus can understand these to a degree)

Very rarely do they "just randomly glow" as you know, don't wanna give away your thoughts. But it's cute because Odysseus will occasionally have a lightshow when one of them is dreaming.

I know a lot of people have Penelope see Odysseus in Telemachus constantly, and while she does to a degree, she is actually one of the few people who really emphasizes that he's his own person. You don't have to be good at whittling, you make such beautiful pottery. You like green, not orange. You don't have to pick that color when it's not your favorite and because other people simply get excited about you being like your dad sometimes. That type of stuff.

You take care too, Dear Anon! :D

[magpod-confessions]

hi. so because i'm normal about jonathan sims and jmart. um.

i really like jmart. i think there could have been MUCH better buildup, but... ultimately it's a very cute ship. i think the appeal, yeah, is a lot that it's just canon. but.

they're both deeply broken people. jon wasn't loved enough. his grandmother tried her best, but he was never cuddled, never read to, never had a chance to *be a little kid*, really. and martin was never loved. maybe he convinced himself he was just never loved the right way, that his mum just didn't know how to show it because he was so *insufferable* and *incompetant*, but no matter the lies he tells himself, martin was not shown love by his mother.

and then they meet. and martin gives and gives and gives because that's all he knows. and jon has no idea how to receive because he never really had anything to receive. and jon's coping mechanism, with that unknown situation, is to reinforce his emotional walls. martin does not know how to stop giving. so they don't work at this point, not at all.

and then jon's emotional walls come tumbling down. well, moreso that they were violently destroyed, with prentiss and all. jon has no support system!!! tim hates him because he's a fucking *stalker*, martin... well... he can't rely on martin, of all people. and sasha... he never knew her too well, but she's acting strange. so jon and martin don't work together at that point, romantically, i think partially because jon won't let it.

in big part, jmart is built on mutual trauma (NOT traumabonding!! i know it's used that way in podcast, but that's not the correct definition) and ... martin being pretty much the only person jon has left. of course, there's basira and melanie and georgie, but they don't *get it*. they didn't go through everything jon did alongside him. sure, martin didn't either, but martin has been there the whole time.

it's partially a relationship of proximity, partially shared trauma, but i do think a lot of it is genuine care for each other (even if that care stems from the former two reasons).

anyways. theyre really cute. tma could have been just as good without it, but---and im saying this as someone who typically despises most romance in media---i really adore them and their dynamic. it opens up so many doors for both character- and self-exploration.

martin learning to love without sacrificing himself. jon learning to love openly, period. explorations of trust and how mutual trauma that affected people in different ways can shape them, etc etc etc. and of course, this is all in fics and in my own mind, because . theyre dead . (i wont accept any ending but that, honestly. theyre not Somewhere Else to me). but. it's nice. they mean a lot to me as characters and as people and as a pair. thumbs up.

and some jon ranting!! because i. admit. finally. that i might be a bit of a jon kinnie.

jon doubts himself, constantly, unless his decision is completely impulsive (ex. the coffin). he can't *let* himself feel, fully, because as a child it was always annoying/obnoxious, or too much, or wrong in some ambiguous, nebulous way.

he's out of touch with himself emotionally. it's... not so much that he doesn't get emotions, it's moreso that he's repressed the majority of his own so intensely that he has a hard time dealing with others' emotions because he's not too sure what it's supposed to feel like without a heavy flavouring of shame.

he's read a lot of books. he knows, in theory, what sadness or romantic love or anger or excitement feels like---and occasionally in practice, when the repression and 'compartmentalisation' (bottling it up) becomes too much and it all boils over---but he has a hard time relating those hypothetical and heat-of-the-moment feelings to actual, real life people.

he struggles with empathy, severely. partially an autistic thing, partially a trauma response. yknow. he's genuinely well-meaning when it comes to comforting those he cares about, but he's not sure of the right thing to say because of how severely that muscle has atrophied. he was never taught that with his grandmother and her neglect (and yes, no matter what he says on tape, it was emotional neglect) and then not having very many friends... he missed those prime developmental stages as a child.

he never empathised with book characters, i don't think. he was always the observer, never really fully putting himself in the role of the protagonist. he definitely used books as an escapist coping mechanism, but it wasn't in a visiting-this-fictional-world way, it was more of a losing-himself-in-the-story way, if that makes sense. there was always a sense of detachment. reading was an *in between* of his life and the life of the protagonist.

he struggles with his and others' feelings because, from his perspective, his emotions are uniquely shameful, uniquely embarrassing, and uniquely *harmful* to other people. so, he represses them, and doesn't let himself feel them unless they're 'useful'. and then, when he can't apply this ideology to others' emotions, he has no way to deal with them. he freezes up because this is a situation in which he has no real experience in, and, as a child who was punished for behaving autistically *wrong* ---whether by his peers or his grandmother---he's scared to make a wrong move.

he sees himself as a person who is uniquely capable of harm. other people can hurt other people, sure, but jon can hurt them in a *special* way, a *worse* way, because he is a fundamentally wrong, bad person.

yeah👍

.🗣️

I AM EATING THIS I agree with this yea

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I really loved them making Helaena a dragon dreamer in s1 because i thought it would give her more relevance in the story since her arc in the book was too depressing and passive. Boy, was I wrong. Not only she has zero relevance and her screentime is reduced to minimum, but her dreams led to nothing. I mean, what's the point of that gift if she doesn't use it? Daenys saved targaryens thanks to the same gift so that's the proof destiny isn't always set in stone. However, with Helaena it's just frustrating. First there were riddles so I thought fine, maybe she can't interpret them correctly yet (the beast beneath the boards, the rats...) but that balcony scene with Aemond left me confused. I don't know how to interpret her behavior and thoughts in there. Aside from spoiling the God's Eye (lmao, condal is a moron) what were fer intentions? Was she angry on Aegon's behalf? I doubt it it since there was no deep connection or love between the two. Was she rejoicing at the notion of Aemond's death? Why would she just let him go to his death and do nothing? Does she hate him? Is she just too apathetic like Bran in s8 to care? Was she sad and defeated because she is aware of what Aemond has become (what Alicent also repeats over and over) but she still loves him? I seriously don't know what to think. Also ffs, , she appears in Daemon's vision to tell him about him fulfilling his destiny?? I can't express how disgusted I am that they chose her to do that. So, what's the point? And no, the explanation that she is this tragic cassandra figure who can't do anything to prevent certain events doesn't sit well with me because it seems lazy, overused and, like I mentioned before, there is Daenys' example. Do you have some other theories and interpretations of her character in general, but especially the balcony scene?

Good day/night to you!

I can't even express just how much I agree with everything you said. And I really wish I could come up with some clever and intricate theory about the role Helaena is supposed to play in HotD (by the way, anyone who has thoughts on that matter and is willing to share them is more than welcome to join the discussion).

But as of now it seems like the writers did - and most likely will contunue to do - to her the same thing they are doing to the absolute majority of other characters (if not to all of them), namely using her as a tool to get across a certain point. The point in this case being, apparently, that men (and women supporting them) are evil, to put it simply (actually, I just got a wonderful ask regarding misandry in HotD and I can't wait to get to it later today).

And the lack of actual care about the characters is even more evident and striking with regards to Helaena due to the pathetic amount of screentime she got. It feels like the entire meaning of her character has been reduced to showing up for a few minutes to either gain some pity from the audience for the purpose of capitalizing on it later or to give the viewers a heads up on some future events (often in quite a dumb and out-of-the-blue way).

To be clear: just like in Aegon's case, I do not disregard Helaena's suffering, I just resent the way it's being used within the story. Like can you believe it? Her baby son was murdered practically in front of her - but apparently she feels no anger or hatred towards either two scumbags who actually did it or her dearest TB relatives because of whose actions it happened (even if we buy the "unclear instructions" thing). Moreover, she is showing Daemon, basically the murderer of her child, the way to fulfilll his destiny. But apparently she feels psychologically violated by Otto and Alicent making her endure the public funeral (which has been turned into nothing more than a propaganda show) and supposedly despises her younger brother to the point of wanting him dead, the reasons for it being... what?

Him starting the war by killing Lucerys? Are we supposed to believe, even after what Rhaenyra says to Alicent, that if not for Luke's death the Greens would be safe? Him burning Aegon? She does mention that - but just in the scene before she smiles approvingly at Alicent's proposal of leaving KL without giving a second thought to the fate of her brotherhusband and neither has she been shown visiting him - not once. Does she care for Aegon or not? Apparently, she does but only in the moments when it's necessary to explain her treatment of Aemond. Him wanting her to join the fight? Is she that pacifistic?

It really feels like the writers just needed to throw together a bunch of reasons for Helaena's behavior - and that's what they did. And as far as I am concerned, what the show did to Helaena is a character assasination - just probably not as brutal as one of Alicent, but the result is the same.

[amber-michaelson]

Behind Their Backs

Yandere Rafe Cameron x JJ's pregnant older sister x Yandere Topper Thornton

Summary: after ignoring them for months they've finally found you

Read at own risk

Warning: kidnapping

3rd person pov

It was a mistake it never should have happened now you have to lie to everyone you care about because you made a mistake

You had to take extra hours working the Kiara's restaurants having to take up cleaning up some kooks houses while having to hide from the prowling boys you hated most it was so hard to ignore but what could you do you just have to get through this.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎Flash back (your pov)▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Rafe please" I moaned as he and topper thrusted into me rafe was stroking and pinching my clit so I couldn't cum "you know what you have to say babe" topper chuckled and squeezed my breast "oh god" I cried pushing more into them I wanted them so bad even if it's wrong "come on say it" rafe growled and pinched harder "ok I'm your little Pogue whore ok" I yelled throwing my head against topper shoulder breathing heavily "that's our girl".

And a few weeks later I got a pregnancy test and it came back positive "shit".

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎Present▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Hey sis can I borrow some money" jj smiled as he came to me as soon as I walked inside "jj I'm soo tired what for" I muttered putting my stuff down and the groceries in the kitchen "I just need to get a little something for someone" he winked "jj I've been working all day and all week this money's supposed help my child" I said pointing at my growing belly "well its the least you can do since I'm also going to have to deal with it" he murmured leaning onto the counter he was getting on my last nerves "do you think I wanted this to happen no I di-" "when then you shouldn't have been such a whore" he muttered running his hands through his hair "out" I muttered "yn i-" "I said get out" I shouted and pointed towards the door, he sighed and left quietly leaving me to myself it was my little house and he can not speak to me like that "your already causing shit you little devil" I murmured rubbing my belly I could never really hate my child it wasn't their fault and I always wanted children but not right now and not their fathers I walked into the little nursery I made for them and sat in the rocking chair in the corner and took out my phone 'should at least tell Sarah' she was my best friend and the only kook I actually get along with even tho my brother kinda despises her I phoned her but it went to voice mail "hey Sarah um I know it's late or your busy but please come over I need to speak with you really bad" my voice was becoming a bit shakey I can't keep this to myself anymore I leaned my head against the chair and decided to take a small nap.

Rafe's pov

I walked round the house and noticed Sarah's phone 'don't mind if I do' I unlocked her phone with ease and saw a missed call "now who would be needing you Sarah" I clicked on it and the voice note started playing "hey Sarah" my throat hitched hearing her voice "I know it's late and your busy but please come over" she sounded scared 'was she in danger' millions of thoughts were running through my head "I need to speak with you really bad" I threw the phone down as soon as it ended and ran to my car dialing topper as I got in "be ready I'm coming to pick you up" I muttered and hung up I sped off, we've been trying to get to her but it's like she disappeared off the face of the earth and now we've finally found her.

yn pov

i sighed stretching out my arms as i sleepily stood up  I slowly wondered into the kitchen but stopped dead in my tracks "we finally got you" rafe growled as someone came up behind me and covered my mouth with a clothe which made me ever sleepy "your ours" was the last thing I heard before blacking out.

Rafe pov

I cooed at her sleeping figure as we layed her in the back of my car "where are we taking her" topper asked "somewhere far away where no one can disturb our new family" I chuckled kissing her cheek one last time before shutting the boot

My Other Outer Banks Works

Check Out My Other Works

[lullinglily]

Hello! I saw your blog and I thought it was very cute ^^ If you don't mind, could you do a fem!reader x Leda where the reader was a follower of Santa Trina but Miquella spelled her and now she is part of Leda's group? :3 sorry if I wrote something wrong, I'm not very good with English :(

pairing: needle knight leda x st trina follower! fem! reader

notes: wow new and actually organized post format!! this was a pleasure to write and i'm so excited to open reqs up again soon. i'm moving through them slowly but surely i promise. thank you for all your support!

Your initial interactions with the knight herself are the product of your differing allegiances. While you are now fully devoted to Kindly Miquella, Leda is well aware that the part of you that worshiped his lesser half could never be fully shed. Still though, she tries to probe you for any signs of disobedience.

She’s mildly perplexed when she finds that you have no such thoughts, but not unhappy. She realized through her time with you that you are unlike the rest of her companions. You make her sick. 

A single smile from you is enough to make her stomach churn. 

She hates the feeling of caring for anyone other than her Lord. The agony you cause her simply by being your wonderful self is immeasurable.

She’ll try to push you away by acting far colder than usual or even by being rather rude, but you’re too lax to take any offense. A follower of love incarnate knows best the way of the human heart, and you can tell Leda’s is troubled. Instead of allowing her to push you away any further, you employ a variety of methods learned from your time as a disciple of St. Trina in order to quell her anxieties. The only problem is that you can’t tell what it is she’s so anxious about.

She refuses to tell you of course, meaning you just have to subject her to a ton of meditative practices and the like to find what works best. 

All this time around you —  all of this incessant fussing over her —  is driving her mad. She’s a flushed, lovestruck, repulsed mess during this time. She despised how much she enjoys your attention, how close you get when you feed her a lulling stew or register her a spoonful of sleep-inducing medicine; how soft your voice is and the way your cloying touch sends her straight to sleep. 

When she finally relents and displays her true feelings towards you it is done by accident; naught but a slip of the tongue. She’s getting over a particularly bad bout of paranoia, her fingers hooked into the skin of your arms and her head resting against your chest. She seems to you like a wild animal, cornered but not yet defeated. You have no clue that all she’s thinking of in this moment is you.

She has to kill you; needs to. You will take her over in body and mind if she does not sever your head from your shoulders this very instant. She has to destroy you before you destroy her. She finds it so very funny that you are completely unaware of her desire to see you dead, and instead inch even closer as you sense some lingering panic plaguing her. You should be the one panicking. You should be terrified. And yet, it is you who embraces her further. 

You envelope her in your arms and Leda realizes all at once that you are nothing short of a miracle. A miracle rescued from the grim fellowship of Trina and passed into Kindly Miquella’s new age all so that Leda may love you and be shown love in return. Miquella had finally repaid her for all of her deeds, she was sure of it. 

She mumbles what she knows to be true; that she cares for you and wants you to be hers. She feels pathetic as the words tumble out without any way of stopping them. Your smile is blinding as you place a kiss on the corner of her mouth, and it only grows more radiant when you feel her hand come up and cradle the back of your head. With this show of devotion you find in Leda a sword and shield, a valiant knight straight from a fairytale. And in you, Leda finds a new reason to fight. The world is steeped in misery; in hardship. It is ill-suited to one as tender as you. If she could bring forth her Lord’s Age of Compassion, if she could help make the world a gentler place, then you would be rescued from any despair that dared to pain you.

Leda, even while under Miquella’s charm, is still a very cautious individual. This is doubly true once you and her become romantically involved. 

You’ll often be faced with the task of calming her down when such paranoia consumes her. You hold her head  and softly reassure her that no harm shall come to either of you, nor Miquella the Kind. While it is difficult for her to accept, she has no choice but to believe that all is well — for now, anyways.

Your status as Leda’s lover gradually turns to “Leda’s therapy dog.” You can tell when her thoughts are beginning to spiral towards suspicion and act accordingly, reaching for her hand and gently squeezing it before moving closer. You move aside her pale bangs to press a lulling kiss upon her forehead and coo sweet words to her until she is calm. It’s something she should be used to by now, but it never fails to shock the bloodlust out of Leda’s system. 

She’s fiercely protective of you, thinking you to be a gift from Miquella himself. Such compassion is sure to be divested from him alone, and molded into the shape of the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. And so, while she hates to have you fight, she does enjoy the sight of the both of you raising your needles in common cause. She’d only wish Miquella’s age would come sooner so that you’d never have to lift a weapon again. 

Leda is especially jealous of the bond you and Thiollier share. All she has ever known is Kind Miquella, and so she is often unable to insert herself into the conversations the both of you frequently have concerning her. While she doesn’t mind you befriending your allies, if a conversation goes on for any longer than she likes she’ll send Thiollier off to go do some minor task. She will not have that wet cat of a man take you from her. 

Speaking of allies, they typically turn to you when Leda is frustrated with them. They beg you to calm her down, to ask her to make peace with them. You’ll oblige and gently present the problem to Leda before asking her to apologize. She’ll argue with you at first, but it’s impossible to do so. You’re alluring, beautiful, and oh so precious to her; she folds. She’ll grimace, the tips of her ears flushed red with embarrassment as she apologizes to whoever it was she fought with earlier. 

Tying braids comes naturally to Trina’s followers, so you typically do Leda’s for her. She’ll say she doesn’t need your help, that she’s no child, but allows you to do it anyway. She craves your touch, it’s about as addicting as Trina’s own ambrosia. 

While she dislikes the aid of Miquella’s discarded self, she cannot deny that it does help her rest easy. She’s adorable crossing her arms and pretending like it doesn’t affect her, like she was totally just awake and listening to you instead of nodding off. 

You like to pick flowers for your beloved. You’ll usually give them to her as gifts either directly or pressed inside of notes. You also from time to time have a habit of secretly working flowers into Leda’s uniform, something she won’t notice until someone else points it out. Your allies can tell when the two of you have been together by the petals scattered about Leda’s shoulders and cape. 

The both of you have a cute dynamic. Leda who is ever paranoid, serious and bloodthirsty; and then you. You’re much more relaxed, extremely kindhearted, and to Leda’s frustration, quite aloof. She is your protector, your knight in shining armor, and you are her doting maiden eternal. 

[leftsidebonfire]

Any time I end up seeing Pudding Discourse on the dash I just get annoyed again lmfao. It low key feels like it's directed toward me even if they're not saying it.

I don't like Pudding and I never will. And I think I have a very valid reason not to. If I pointed a gun at the head of someone you cared about, with every intention to kill them, but instead changed my mind because they said something nice to me, would you forgive me for it?

Because I wouldn't. If someone put a gun to the head of a person I cared about, a friend, a family member, a lover, and was fully ready to shoot them in the face, there's not a fucking force on earth that would ever get me to forgive them.

I don't care if the victim forgave them. I don't care if they apologized on bended knee to me with a bouquet of roses. I don't care if they were a minor. I don't care if their parent told them to do it. (That would, in fact, just make me hate the parent AND the person who tried to kill them.)

So. Sorry not sorry. But Pudding doesn't get a pass for trying to murder Sanji just because she "saw the light" and went "oopsie daisy I was wrong about you let me help." IDGAF that Sanji forgave her either. I don't. And I won't. You don't get a pass for doing terrible things just because you're under 18.

(And yeah before someone wants to cry Misogyny at me again, I do hold that grudge against other characters too. And in all forms of other media. If anyone wants to say I just hate women or some shit, let it be known that I fucking DESPISE Negan from Walking Dead and no amount of good deeds will ever endear him to me.)

(I REALLY can't stand the fact that people just scream Misogyny because I don't like a female character. It's not misogynistic to hate a character. I hate male characters too, all the time. The Vinsmoke Brothers can all burn too for all I care, nobody yells at me about that 🙄)

[phychohex]

I met a vampire down in Santa Carla (chapter one)

I pulled up the driveway dread seeping its way into my pours. I managed to get here in just one day only stopping for gas and food. I sit trying to gather the courage to face them again, especially after seeing them last. When I spoke to my mother on the phone asking if she could please help me and was immediately allowed; it took me by surprise. My stepdad and I never really saw eye to eye on just about everything. From religion to people who were different from us. My mom wasn't that way though. She just happened to be trapped in marriage something I never realized until being in the same boat. Stuck with a man who claims to love you only to show the opposite. I finally get the gull to walk up to the door knocking three times.

When the door opened I could barely recognize the woman in front of me the once youthful face now wrinkled with stress and the sad fake smile. Her hair was put up in a tight bun and her clothes resembled those of an old woman. Even though she was only in her early fifties. "Aurora my love come in you're just in time for supper" She stands aside letting me in and I see Steve sitting on his throne watching a football game. The brown leather recliner laid out as he looked up wearing what can only be Sunday best even if it was Monday. 'never know when we will meet god, so we always need to look our best' is what he always told me. He stands up a groan leaving him how he looked the same. From the tall lean figure that seemed to loom over you like a predator looking down on his prey. His hair greying and kept in a slick back appearance with those dull dark eyes pricing through my soul, judging me.

"Aroura" he nods I couldn't do it. My eyes hit the floor as a mix of fear and shame came over me. The last thing I told him was I would never come back to this hell hole and that I would never need his help. Now I hate that I was wrong this was the part I knew I would hate the most. The look in those cold dead eyes saying I told you so. "Is Dinner ready?" he asks my mom leading us to the dining room where a nice roast was all prepared for us. We sit down back in our spots. It was like I never left. He held his hand out to me so we could pray over our food. I was not religious I was the opposite I hated it. I know not everyone is that way but with what I had to go through because of god, because I was 'sinful' I couldn't help but despise it. The thought of religion sent chills up my spine and yet I joined hands and pretended to pray along with them.

As we say our amen and start eating he pipes up "So how was John" he asks the tone in his voice screaming that he was eating this up.

"Steve" Mom tries but he holds his hand up.

"you know this is my house Aruroa so I have rules," he starts

"Rory" I mutter "I go by Rory" I look up nervous. "that's what my friends call me," Having never told them before I just couldn't take not at least trying to be myself.

"Okay then, Rory. I have rules; now I know you are a woman now, all grown up. All I ask is you cover your tattoos inside the house and especially outside. I am a well-known member of society as you may know" That was true he was friends with a bunch of politically rich people. "I don't want you to be an embarrassment, you understand. Modesty is what I expect this means no crop tops, shorts or skirts must be at least knee length and no tight-fitting clothing it's unbecoming. Lastly, I want you to contribute help with chores and such." he smiles I look over to Mom as she smiles.

"It will be nice. A good change of pace to have help right" she asks

"Mom what about you, you work right"

"oh no" she shakes her head "I gave it up a few years ago" I was stunned. She was an amazing Veterinarian surgeon and loved what she did.

"well, that's good." I smile "But I think I will try to get a job if that's alright"

"With what education" Steve pipes up "Last I checked you never finished school"

"I didn't but I did get my GED, and then I went into a trade" The shock on his face was everything. After being told I couldn't do it and then to prove him wrong. "may I be excused I have some unpacking to do" I ask and they let me. I go out to the car grabbing my bags before going up to my childhood bedroom. The door opens with an eerie creek. The room was just as I left it. The full-sized bed with a creme-colored blanket. The frame has four long points with old fairy lights hanging from them. One light brown nightstand with a simple lamp and then a dresser across from the bed. All the neutral colors. If you told someone a sixteen-year-old used to live in this room I'd tell you that it was sad. Sitting on the old mattress and opening the drawer of the nightstand looking at the unused bible just collecting dust. Gazing to meet the Jesus painting that hung right above my bed. I hear a knock as Steve opens the door.

"gosh, so many memories." he shakes his head smiling "I remember that day, the rush you had as you got into that car cursing our names. Your mother she would lay in here for days sulking. You put that woman through hell you know," he sits next to me the numbness was back all I could do was nod. "she has asked me to not be so harsh on you, and for her sake, I plan to so do what you want with the room all I ask is you not deface god, show respect." he puts his hand on my back "I'm glad your back, no matter what you may think of me I am glad to have raised you, and that you have come to your senses" he stands up. Looking at the Jeues painting. "remember he is always watching over us."

"take it" I mutter "I don't want it in here" Tears peek up again. he lets out a disappointed sigh taking it down. As he is walking out the door he turns back to look at me.

"keep this door closed at all times, I don't want guests coming in" he shuts the door with more force than needed. I lay down in my bed trying to get over the feeling of entrapment. Telling myself over and over this was better than what I came back from. With the thought playing over and over I found myself falling asleep.

I wake up looking at the time. It's almost noon and I have to rush out. when I told my friends I was coming back we made plans to go out for lunch and meet back at the shack. The shack is an old hideout we made when we were younger. It was a trailer out in the woods just outside town. It used to be my friend's uncle's trailer and once it was paid off he didn't want it and agreed to give it to us as a clubhouse while he built his dream place just a mile down the road. I brush my hair looking in the mirror the bruise on my arm still dark. Using what makeup I had I covered it to the best of my ability before taking a glance over. Wearing a long-sleeve navy blue sweatshirt and then a skirt that went to my ankles which was black with navy blue flowers and black dock martins. I try to ignore the tired look and puffiness in my eyes. The light peeking its way through the curtains. Focusing on the dark auburn hair that was in a sloppy ponytail and the freckles that went along my cheeks like scattered stars. I grab my bag before heading out for lunch.

Sitting at the small little shop waiting. I hear a squeal and see Kayla rushing over. I stand up and she practically throws herself at me. She was gorgeous as ever, with honey-brown eyes long dark hair, and caramel skin. Not far behind her was Lilly a once light blonde now neon pink and fully decked with piercings. We sit down and start catching up. "okay, okay so I just started at this little nail salon down at the boardwalk and I'm meeting up with this guy who is a college professor he is so cute you have to meet him. Oh and guess who finally got together" I give Lilly a bright smile.

"Really?" I exclaim. Lilly used to have a huge crush on our friend Josh and everyone knew he liked her back but both of them were so deep in teenage awkwardness. They never would admit it to each other or anyone else. "since when"

"When we first started college. I'm studying for my nursing and he is going into film" Lilly smiles sheepishly "But what about you, why are you back so suddenly? I mean don't get me wrong we are all beyond happy but when you left it was because your stepdad pushed the last straw, I mean what he said I don't blame you and what he put you through so why move back in."

"Well, long story short I took off with an even worse person" I glance down adjusting my sleeve hoping they don't notice. Kayla reaches over and holds my hand her eyes filled with sorrow. I nod laughing as I wipe a tear. "I guess I should've seen that one coming huh, I mean what nineteen-year-old runs off with a sixteen-year-old."

"a fucked up one, I knew I never liked him" Kayla rolls her eyes "What happened, do I have to go and kill his ass."

"no, that would be too merciful" I laugh. "don't worry it's not like he knows I'm here.

"You're strong you know, getting away from it. Not many can" Lilly agrees "But seriously what a fucked up dude didn't he start trying to get you when you were like fourteen, he was a senior that just wrong." Lilly nods, "hey you know what we should all stop by the shack"

"yes that's perfect get the hell out of here and to a real comfort place." having finished our food we all go and meet up at the shack. Pulling in brought so many memories, all the weed we smoked the karaoke nights the game nights all the worst and fucked up movies we would sneak past the guys at the video store. it was a safe haven for us, no adults, just some dumb high schoolers with either nothing to do or escaping the reality of our own lives. It was our fortress, no one could tell us what to do. No one could take away the joys of being young and stupid and a place where we all looked out for each other. I get out seeing Will on the front porch smoking a blunt. He changed so much once a scrawny kid with messed up hair now in shape his big poofy hair held back with a ponytail holder. He looked good, especially for how he was brought up. He was one of us who was escaping.

While Lilly was the one who got us the shack cause of her Uncle she was also the den mother. The one who always cared and never had shit to do. Kayla was the same that is unless she had to watch her younger siblings. The three of us have been friends since the third grade when I first moved here. But for me and Will it was the safe zone. I was getting away from my stepdad who forced me to believe and who punished me if I didn't, but I felt he had it worse. His mom was a druggie and always had men coming and going which ended him in some trouble. Dealing drugs and having gotten addicted to heroin. It changed once he almost died and we freaked out. It was harsh but it needed to be said and if it hadn't he would probably be doped up. Kayla screamed at him saying he was no better than his mother. He went to rehab for a long time and I left before he came back. He looks up putting the blunt out and waves.

As I make my way up the stairs we clap our hands together and pull into a hug. "oh shit, they told me you was back, how you been" he smiles

"I've been" I shrug

"Felt you there, so hows that dipshit you were dating"

"don't know don't care how is your mom"

"dead" he laugh "fucking good riddance" We go inside the place was different probably cause we'd aged. the once dimly lighted room now has lights along the walls and a bright light and funky fan. With a wrap-around couch instead of bean bags which now sit in the corner. The TV was updated along with the gaming system and two bookshelves filled with games and movies. Down the hall, the game room is completely decked out with the table in the middle and shelves almost covering every wall with all the things a DND player could ask for. I see Josh in his natural habitat snapping pictures of some figures. He looks up smiling.

"awe shit," he makes his way around "bout time you stopped by, it's been what like six years? You look good" he complements

"you too" he nods the lanky figure and beanie giving hipster vibes. "what are you doing"

"oh well I'm working on stop motion so I take a photo and then move everything slightly and repeat the process until eventually I have a video of these guys moving. it's for an assignment, come on let's go sit down." everyone sitting in the living room music blasting as we hot box. It has been years and to say it was hitting hard was an understatement. Sitting with a big bag of barbecue chips listening to what everyone has been up to.

"You know what I was just telling my co-worker that I used to be in a band." Kayla announces "We should do that again now that Rory's back" I sit up shaking my head.

"hell no" I laugh "It's been years"

"exactly that's why we should, not for fame or money just for shits and giggles plus you used to sound like a literal siren" she pushes "Come'on what do you got to lose we can put it in with our DND sessions"

"Yeah we could" Josh nods "Every Wednesday we are all here anyway might be a good time Lilly still has all our old stuff we can set up here"

"where in here" Lilly scuffs "You giving your dnd room up?"

"hell no" Josh sits back. "we will figure it out but if we do you have to agree to at least try" he points passing me the joint. I take a quick puff and let out a long sigh,

"fine" Kayla jumped up in excitement before hugging me again. "hey I said try if it doesn't work out then that's not on me"

"Don't be a party pooper" Kayla pouts "I mean what are you going to do anyways"

"look for a job that's for starters there is no way I'm going to play housewife and be cooped up with sir I told you so, no way"

"Well, what are you looking for" Josh asks as I pass the joint.

"tattoo, I'm a tattoo artist and have been for three years now" I smile "I love it I wouldn't trade it for anything"

"I know a guy who is looking for an artist he is trying to do an almost twenty-four-hour opening. he is looking for the night shift from six to three. I can recommend you if you'd like." Will offers.

"yes that would be amazing" excitement filled as hope of actually being able to save up enough money to move out looking more and more possible, "where is it at"

"the boardwalk, its called Pop's Ink my guy Oscar is the owner pops was his old gang name I can have him give you a call" After a few more hours of talking and catching up it was time to finally head back home.

It wasn't even a whole week later when I got the call for a job interview. Like Will said he was looking for the night shift and seemed to be desperate. I make sure I'm in one of my nicer outfits with my hair in a messy bun and light makeup. Wearing winged eyeliner and a red lip along with nude eyeshadow. I grab my work bag that carries my portfolio of all the tattoos I have done and am the most proud of, my resume, and references. I walk down the stairs and as I am heading out the door I notice Steve eyeing me.

"where you heading to kiddo" he interrogates.

"I have a job interview" with my hand on the doorknob ready to leave.

"at six pm?"

"yep it's for a night shift and the owner is there right now for the interview so I have to go."

"what job interview happens this late anyways." he scuffs shaking his head "You know I let you back into my home and if you are trying to go off and do a job that is ungodly I swear. Besides, I provide enough to care for you and your mother there isn't any need for you to get one"

"look" I turn with what courage I have. "I understand your views on the matter and I don't agree okay. this way I can prove I'm responsible and it's not a sinful job like you may think. I'm not going out to be a stripper or prostitute if that's what you're concerned with. I'm going to use the trade that I told you about. I would love to stand here and explain but I don't want to be late I'll most likely not get home till later so tell mom not to wait up for me for dinner" With that I leave rushing to my car before letting out a sigh of relief. I drive the fifteen minutes to the boardwalk. even though I lived here the majority of my life I was never allowed in this area. With all the murders my mom thought it be best I stay clear. I make my way into the shop with late 90s rock lightly playing and the red walls with black printouts of pinup girls and then the counter. I look around not sure what to do. That's when I noticed a tall big burly man with a sleeve tat and a long beard. Reminded me of Santa Clause, well if Santa Clause was in a biker gang which I think this guy was. "hey are you Oscar" I pipe up. he turns and makes his way over his aura very dark and intimidating which quickly fades once he smiles.

"you must be Rory it's nice to meet you" I was taken back nodding and giving him a firm handshake. "Will told me you would be by" he was Santa, what the fuck.

"p-pops," I ask he sighs laughing.

"told you I was a gang member I told him not to do that, no that's my trucker name I was one for almost twenty years before tattooing. We meet in rehab used to do coke in my youth and I help run the support group where everyone calls me pops there too" he lets out a deep laugh and ushers me to sit down. "so you're looking for a tattoo gig right, well came to the right place let me take a look at what you got." with a startle I got through my bag and hand him my portfolio. he flips to the first page which was an eagle and American flag in full color. slowly flipping the pages no real reaction.

from the pinups to full color, and realism he closes it and nods. "that's fucking impressive what you'd say you are the weakest in"

"well to be honest it would be realism it takes me the longest and I'm not used to doing them a lot, but specifically doing photo realism of a human, if it was an animal or object I can do that pretty well. "

"Where do you think you are the best in"

"in my lining and color taking my time and getting it done right has always been really important to me"

"so would you say your time management skills aren't top quality"

"Well, I would rather take my time and get it right than have someone leave with a bad tattoo. The Bride of Frankenstein bust I did took about ten hours. same with Frank himself. I usually charge per hour and when I do start I can't finish cause it would bug me a bit so I don't take many breaks unless the client needs them if I do then it's just to get a drink or use the bathroom no longer then ten minutes and I stop the clock for the client so unless I am tattooing then the clock will be going."

"how much do you usually charge"

"depends on the type but I range between twenty-five to fifty an hour for them I did thirty, if need be I can do a flat rate of twenty-five"

"and twenty percent going to the shop is fine with you," he asks writing things down.

"yeah that's fine"

"Okay um, who trained you"

"Katie Fitz, here is her number" I hand him the number he looks over and stands up.

"well I am impressed I of course want to call her first but I can call you within the next couple of days and tell you what I decide but your chances are pretty good." he walks me out "It was a pleasure to meet you" I shake his hand.

"same here " I make my way to my car and when the beauty of the boardwalk takes my breath away. from the smell of cotton candy and restaurants to the screaming of joy from the people at the small fair ground-like area with the lights illuminated by the Ferris wheel and the doors of all the shops wide open. I noticed the sun was setting and even though I knew I should head home I couldn't stop that little devil in my ear telling me a look around wouldn't hurt. I make my way looking at the shops. There was the nail salon, then a soap shop with bath bombs and perfume, go further and you will find a bar that leads you to a tourist-like shop. I notice a quiet little bookstore that has a coffee shop at the front. As the smell of coffee invades my lungs and the large maze-like rows of books call to me I soon found myself going up and down the isles.

I come to the horror area which was ironically placed at the very back in a corner. I look up trying to see what would catch my eye first. I stumbled upon a new Stephan King novel that I have yet to read. Just as I was reaching up the sound of the bell that was to alert people entering the shop dings and blaring hard rock music filled the once quiet and peaceful space. I go to the end of the aisle and peer to see a group of four guys have come barreling in. Looking like they just stepped out of the 80's and gave off a menacing vibe. Not anything like what I felt when first meeting Oscar. This was true don't fuck with me energy that chilled me to the core. The tallest with long dark hair and brooding nature walks to the mystery section making it clear whose idea it was to stop by. The youngest and shorts with curly hair cut into a mullet ran around holding the boom box that was playing harsh music. He reminded me of a kid who forgot his ADHD meds. As he ran past another member of the group who was leaning against the table pulling all his best moves to get with one of the girls who sat peacefully at their table. His long blond hair which also was cut into a mullet seemed to be succeeding making the girls lean into whatever it was he said. My eyes go over not even two feet and are met with bright blue hues. The light blue reminded me of the light hitting the ocean just right. They made my skin bump up with anxiety and set my mind on high alert.

Going back to the area I was just trying to think of a way out. Away out where I wouldn't be interrupted by any of them. This all went right down the drain when I glanced over to see he was looking at the books with me. He must've made a straight beam over. I look back up at the book that I once debated on getting. He leans over being very close. I look over our eyes meeting and he holds the book above my head. I look to see if it was the last one that I would be able to reach. I wasn't short these bookshelves were just insanely tall. At least that's what I like to tell myself, Im average height 5'5 isn't abnormal and yet at this moment it seemed not tall enough as he loomed over me egging me on with the book over my head as if we were two school children.

He sports a cheeky grin knowing he was getting on my nerves. "what's your name, princess" his voice had a mocking tone to it. Not daring to answer I just turn to grab my things. "awe come on" he holds the book out. Unsure whether to try and grab it or not I stretch my hand out which causes him to pull back "Your name, doll" I officially am now fed up. "I'll give it to you all I want is your name" We hear the chick at the front finally lose her cool.

"Dwayne get your skank ass friend out of here" He rolls his eyes clearly annoyed by the demand,

"Last chance" he backs away tempting me with the book. I don't know why but it was like I couldn't stop myself,

"Rory" I mutter "My name is Rory" he smiles handing me the book before waving.

"I'll see you around" he turns and they all leave being just as loud as they were when they first entered the shop. What the fuck was that and why did I give him a total stranger my name for a fucking book. I checked out and went home laying down to read but they just kept playing in my mind on repeat. I lay awake trying to understand what the hell happened. What pissed me off is the book was not worth telling a strange man in a trench coat looking like he would shoot up the joint for.

[cool-kink-sis]

As someone who despises Cassandra and everything she stands for since you can't change her mind on anything, she fights you every step of the way and even if she begrudgingly agrees, nothing changes, she shoves her religion in everyone's face etc etc.

My point is I always found it odd that Solas validates her whilst ripping everyone else to shreds, Cassandra is rude, patronising, narrow minded and by her own admission: bad tempered and doesn't plan ahead.

"I see something that must be done so I do it, I see no reason to stand around talking about it."

Not a direct quote but something similar.

It's everything Solas hates and yet he validates her experience, ignores the oppression, the system, the cruelty, the tranquil, the templars and everything else she's apart and complicit in and I LOVE the idea that he's playing nice to her because she is in a position of power.

Right from the start in Haven, it's clear she's running shit with the soldiers, people defer to her and Solas mentions she has threatened him several times. I cannot remember for the life of me but there is a point in the game where magic is going off and Cassandra marches up to Solas and says "Speak, apostate!" This is not at the start of the game because I recall thinking 'what happened to using his name?"

When things go wrong, he's just another mage to her now and Solas knows that. They are not friends.

Cassandra could be dangerous to Solas at his current power level, he doesn't think much of her at all but she could overpower him, order him dead or lobotomised so he keeps his opinion to himself when it comes to her and plays nice, agrees and butters her up probably how he did to people way back when, court intrigue an all that.

He speaks to Leilana but holds her at arms length, likes Josephine because she is polite and loves his stories, no interaction ever with Cullen (not that I blame him for that but I imagine he's not fond of him either).

I love when Solas schmoozes, manipulates and feels nothing because he's soft spoken and an outright bad so people don't expect a lie in another form, a lie in twisting the words and feigning interest. He as good as Bull when he wants to be.

[ravenlly]

(Sun and Moon Show Rant #5: Ruin Has So Much Potential!!)

Maybe this is part two of my last rant (in which I rambled nonstop about Ruin being the most tragic character in the show), but I just felt like I had to talk about this!

Ruin is probably the most intelligent character in the series so far. He has currently given himself up to Moon and the others completely since he has achieved his goals, no longer has anyone from his original universe, and thus doesn't feel the need to try and defend himself or escape the prison he's allowed himself to be put in. He also isn't hostile toward the family and understands why everyone currently despises him. Heck, he even wants himself dead.

But he can still be of use to the family! I mean, it's obvious the Creator in their dimension is going to cause them hell soon. Ruin is essentially an expert when it comes to the Creator in all the dimensions and how they work and think. He has knowledge on the things they plan to do and all that jazz. He hates them just as much (if not more so) than Sun and Moon. He'd be willing to help them if they'd allow it! Of course, they still see him as someone who harmed their family and they're not yet willing to overlook this in order to see the bigger picture, but his knowledge and intellect isn't something they should just throw away, especially when it comes to the Creator.

He also, of course, has angst potential. I won't go into detail about his backstory (I did that enough in my last post lol) but I will say that he's definitely not well mentally after everything he has gone through. Normally, Earth is the one who helps others through their thoughts and trauma, but Ruin is the only person she has claimed to hate, so I don't see this being something she'll be ready to do, at least not for a while. But there's some amazing potential when it comes to her possibly confronting him! Maybe he'll open up and start telling her all about his backstory and the things he's gone through in order to get her to see why he destroyed so many dimensions. Maybe he can make her realize it wasn't personal and point out how she herself has been wronged by her own Creator in a very intentional, personal way.

Also, when Solar is revived, we'll be able to potentially see him confront Ruin! I think he and Earth should be the ones to have the final say in what happens to him...and I have a feeling they wouldn't want to kill him.

I dunno, I just think this dude has potential. Lol.

[aventvrina]

What about idv? And hsr ofc

Send me a fandom -still accepting! -@halothes

Identity V

The first character I first fell in love with:  it was actually Ann ! When her trailer came out i remember seeing it on twitter and being heart eyes at her (still can't play her tho lmao) The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:  Frederick, with each update he gets better and his involvement in Ashes of Memory is so -chefs kiss- The character everyone else loves that I don’t:  Alva...I get it cause of the whole Luca lore but he's just kinda there for me tbh The character I love that everyone else hates:  Joker (surprise surprise) I know the crimes I will fight for this man, he did all the wrongs in the world and deserves all the karma he gets but that's my lil mew mew. the fandom can cry in a corner they can't handle evil men that aren't conventionally attractive The character I used to love but don’t any longer: ehhh Orpheus, it's not that i don't like him anymore but he feels so flat lately The character I would totally smooch: let me give Ithaqua a big smooch on his forehead my baby The character I’d want to be like:  My god don't wish that upon me (maybe Margaretta cause she classy) The character I’d slap:  Undead and all his mains fuck you all A pairing that I love: Anne and Ganji they need to marry, open a toy shop & live happily ever after (margejoker too but it's mostly cause simp and unattainable muse) A pairing that I despise:  I don't think there's a pairing that I hate. Maybe Antonio with Andrew? Just cause I don't get where it comes from (but then again half the fandom ships are like that so)

Honkai StarRail

The first character I first fell in love with: Serval and I am still feral about her The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:  Bronya, she grew on me specially after the most recent trailblaze mission in Belobog The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Tingyun but i blame it on the story she kinda did nothing for me i hope we get to know what's made of her tho The character I love that everyone else hates: I'm not sure she's hated but I love miss Cocolia Rand. I know she's an npc, i know she's dead (rip the queen) but that's my emotional support weekly boss battle and her fight in the main story is still the most satisfying moments in game The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I don't think i feel out of love with anyone tbh The character I would totally smooch: Aventurine ONE CHANCE PLEASE The character I’d want to be like:  Asta so I can have her bank account The character I’d slap:  Jingyuan's ass A pairing that I love: i mean the brain rot is fresh so AvenDay. But also KafkaBlade these two -grips them- A pairing that I despise:  Danheng and Blade need to stay 50 meters away from each other at all times. Idk if it was the fandom, idk if it was the quest but i really can't see them as a ship