#I don't get why I have such a weird time with it compared to the rest of the system
Looped Sun 17
Back to regularly scheduled programming.
Loop #462
Grian: Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy what do you mean you got a child!?!
Jimmy: Oh you know... it just happened.
Grian: ... HOW DOES IT JUST HAPPEN!?!?
Jimmy: Listen! Listen Grian. It was Tango who broke the fabric of reality.
Grian: Just... what loop did you get her from.
Jimmy: Fear and Hunger.
Grian: ... I... Jimmy mate...did you adopt the god of fear and hunger?
Jimmy: Well... Scott and Tango did too.
Grian: yhbdggfsthxayhcsdgnptsdjkogf kfarjnf ghjvJimmy Jimmy Jimmy what!?!? (Canon accurate noises)
Loop #465
Pearl: Mate, how long is this loop going to be?
Mumbo: I... have no idea.
Pearl: Ugh, why are we even in jail? I got nothing from loop memories.
Mumbo: Crimes? Probably?
Pearl: No shit.
Mumbo: Pearl!
Pearl: We should break out.
Mumbo: What!?
Pearl: I said we should break out.
Mumbo: ... Alright.
Loop #467
Scar: Grian, where did you-
Grian: Scar, this loop is going to be great!
Scar: It is?
Grian: I present to you, the tardis!
Scar: ... Oh! Is this a ...uh Doctor Who variant?
Grian: You bet it is!
Grian: So, anywhere you want to go?
Scar: Oh uh... Hmmm... I need references for a castle I'm building.
Grian: Middle ages, reinassance or?
Scar: I uh... castle? Like regular castle?
Grian: Let me think... 12th century should do.
Scar: What is that!?
Dalek: I am a Dalek.
Scar: A Daklek.
Dalek: Dalek.
Scar: Dilek? Dalk?
Grian: A Dalk!?! Pfttt-
Dalek: Exterminate!
Grian: And now is the time where we run.
Scar: Wait if you are the doctor am I a companion. Am I going to die or be stuck as a robot or something.
Grian: ... No.
Scar: Well It's just-
Grian: You aren't dying. I promise.
Grian: ... Out of all the companion's fate getting to replace the toymaker is hardly the worst one.
Scar: I didn't know vex magic could work on gods!
Grian: Eh, to be fair the whoverse gods are pretty weak compared to others.
Loop #450
Grian: I always told you that you were like a vampire!
Mumbo: ... I don't appreciate this.
Grian: Oh come on Dracula, at least you get to use new magic.
Mumbo: I can't leave during the day Grian! It's pants! I can't go on my bike trips!
Grian: I mean, can't you go during the night? It's not like anything can hurt you.
Mumbo: Of course no- ... Wait... Hmmm...
Mumbo: Grian mate, can I please come in?
Grian: Hmmm...nah.
Mumbo: G, mate, please?
Grian: Nope.
Mumbo: You spoon! Let me in!
Loop #473
Grian: You haven't named her yet? You can't possibly call her The Girl forever.
Tango: Not really, namificating is not something you can just do and she doesn't mind being referred as the Girl.
Grian: Does she have literally any other name you could use!? A nickname? A middle name? Her mother's maiden name.
Scott: Technically the Ancient One.... though the Endless if you consider that to be her mothers maiden name.
Grian: You are not naming a child The Ancient One... or the endless.
Scott: You named your children Grumbot and Jrumbot.
Grian: It's ...different!
Scott: Huh uh. Of course.
Jimmy: Grian Isn't fully wrong though.
Scott: I know... It just feels weird to think about.
Tango: Maybe we can start from her...title?
Scott: Girl or Ancient One? Both are awful names full offence.
Jimmy: Maybe Ancient can become An-something. An-uh...?
Scott: Uh...you mean something like Anne? Annie? Anita? Angela?
Jimmy: Exactly!
Tango: Hmmm... We should try asking her if any fit...
Scott: We have a name and a middle name too.
Tango: We wrote down some ideas and had her choose.
Mumbo: Oh!
Grian: Finally.
Tango: Anne Fair Tek.
Grian: That's a good name- Wait wait wait... Fair...Anne... Fair and Anne. Fear and Anne-ger...you.
Scott: Oh, he's quicker then I tought.
Grian: You named her after a pun!??! I- am... I don't know how to feel about that.
Tango: She liked Anne best ok? she chose it. I just had to at that point.
Scott: Don't tell Jimmy though, he hasn't realized it yet.
Loop #476
Pearl understood why this happened, she really did, but she also didn't think she would enjoy it, looking at her loop memories it seemed she was stuck in Double Life after winning... It was exceptionally lonely.
It had been two days when she realized she could just leave the server pretty easy, the Watchers might try to stop her but she was also a goddess multiple times over. Yet, she also wanted to see how long it took for someone to come back to search for her.
The answer was two weeks it seems, she was almost starting to consider the "leave the server" option but she was glad she didn't. Now the players here probably expected her to be insane or rabid, instead they were going to find her tending to her newest build.
The fact it took a day for them to even try to approach was indication of how scared they were of her, it was funny really, she just had a lovely day working on her garden and base during the whole thing.
Pearl: Hello there mate!
Scott: Pearl!?
Pearl: That's me!
Scott: ... You aren't... attacking me?
Pearl: Oh why would I? You sacrificed myself for me! It's not like you do it for everyone.
Pearl didn't want to hurt Scott, even an unawoken version of him, this didn't mean sshe couldn't use her knowledge of him to be annoying. And she could see him react to her comment, acting ignorant was so fun sometimes.
Scott: O-oh. I see you built a new base?
Pearl: Yeah, had nothing to do for a while.
Scott: I- ... Sorry-
Pearl: Oh don't worry. Want some apple juice?
Scott: Apple juice!?!
Pearl: It's like water? But with apple flavour and made from crushed apple?
Scott: I know what apple juice is Pearl, I just didn't -
Pearl: That's good then, want some?
Scott: ... Uh...sure?
In the end her and Scott talked a bit and then he left very confused... Then after a bit came Grian and she decided she was going to have some fun, just a little bit.
Pearl: Hey there mate, want something to drink?
Grian: uhh... Sure?
Pearl: We got juice, tea, water, spiders, coffee-
Grian: Spiders?
Pearl: Oh sure here you go!
Grian: Wait no that's not what I meant-
But she had already started poaring spiders into his cup.
Loop #479
Grian: I had the weirdest variant loop.
Mumbo: What was it?
Grian: It was Last Life except for one thing. One horrible thing.
Mumbo: ...??
Grian: You know that time I took your mustache?
Mumbo: ... Yeah? Grian: Everyone. And I mean everyone had a mustache except for you.
Mumbo: ... Ew.
Grian: I know! I don't know which is worse! Your face is all like weird without a mustache.
Mumbo: ...Thanks...
Grian: No offence.
Mumbo: Just go on G.
Grian: But seeing Jimmy with it was almost as cursed! It doesn't look right on him or Cleo or ...Etho! Etho had the mustache over his mask!!
Mumbo: ... How?
Grian: I don't know! That's the problem!
Loop #481
Grian: How do you even have Anne join the server? Most of the time whitelist is strict.
Tango: Made her a full player a few loops ago and then just tell X that she's my daughter.
Grian: And he believes it?
Tango: It's not a lie.
Grian: Eh. Guess not.
Tango: And even if he didn't he might be the owner but I'm an admin as well and the other admins would back me up too.
Grian: ...
Tango: I want to ask you a favour.
Grian: ... Let's hear it.
Tango: You... you know fear magic don't you? From your TMA loop as The Eye?
Grian: So Scott told you about that? Yeah.
Tango: Anne... she might not have been to the depth but I know that despite still being a little girl she is in part the god of fear and hunger she can become.
Grian: ... So?
Tango: I just want you to teach her, Scott will help as well since he was of The Vast in that loop.
Grian: Sure, god of fear and hunger implies a second part too doesn't it?
Tango: We are working on it... We might ask Famine from the good omens loop but it's a bit more complicated.
Grian: Alright, I'll do it.
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Zelda ages based on when their games came out. Welcome to the team EoW Zelda!
Characters and design thoughts under cut:
For starters, I did a similar Zelda piece a few years ago and ran into the problem that I can't really draw anything else than anime teen girls, which is kind of a problem in a drawing where half the characters are above 20 and their age differences are the whole point. And in addition almost everyone is supposed to be royalty with very similar clothes too. But in my defense, in general it can be pretty hard to tell the ages of 25 to 40 year old anime women anyway.
I needed a reference for the body proportions in order to even get started, so I quickly thought "who is an anime woman who doesn't look like a teenager", and used Yor's character sheet for assistance. The younger characters' proportions are a little inconsistent, since I couldn't choose if I would look at realistic growth chart or go with the anime look (where teens and children are often shorter than they would be in real life) so the result is this weird hybrid.
Four Swords (December 2, 2022) & Four Swords Adventures (March 18, 2004) - Chronologically they are different Zeldas even though they use the same promo art/character design, so I used the promo art design for the original FS Zelda and drew the FSA Zelda based on her sprite. There's not much to these designs, they have very little going on in terms of story or personality to use as inspiration and their character design doesn't offer much anything original when compared to the other more well known Zeldas either. Their only distinct element is the big red hair bow, but I thought it would look too childish when they're supposed to be in their twenties here.
Minish Cap (November 4, 2004) - There's not a lot MC Zelda that I could use for inspiration. But then I remembered that a while ago I wrote about how the pointy hat Queen Ambi wears should be used more often, so I thought I should put my money where my mouth is and draw it here, since Zelda does wear a red cap for a couple seconds in MC. In general the MC Zelda and both FS Zeldas are at a little awkward age for this picture, since they're too old for youthful child designs but not really old enough for more mature queenly designs either.
Skyward Sword (November 18, 2011) - Her design is based on her concept design, which I assume is meant to be her casual look and not the ceremonial costume she wears in the game.
Ocarina of Time (November 21, 1998) - I decided that age-wise she makes the cut of when I start using updos. Why do the Zeldas have such similar canon hairstyles anyway, it was surprisingly boring to work with them. Still not sure about the curls though, my fancy dress design artbook that I used for inspiration had so many cute curly hairstyles but I couldn't really use any here because I worried the characters would become unrecognisable. But since OoT Zelda had some curls in her "sideburns" she fell victim here.
Hyrule Warriors (August 14, 2014) - HW Zelda has a distinct enough design from the other Zeldas that it gives a lot of elements to work with, though her age here limits it a little since she's too young for bikini armour. Also because HW is a spin off, I also considered including the Cadence of Hyrule Zelda, but that led to the realisation that it would have opened the doors to CDI Zelda as well. Which I guess would have been fine, but this is already a pretty wide drawing full of adults, so while a Cadence of Hyrule Zelda would have been easy to fit on the front row, I couldn't justify adding even more adults just for the CDI games. So only HW is included because I've played it and actually like it.
Zelda 1 (February 21, 1986) - The original Zelda is at an age where it's a little awkward how there's little difference between her (38 years old) and OoT Zelda (25). But I couldn't think of any anime that would help me as reference here, and I don't think she's old enough to have that "this character is getting old" wrinkle under her eye (you know the one).
Echoes of Wisdom (September 26, 2024) - I think she looks a bit too old here to be a zero-days-old newborn but work with me here.
Breath of the Wild (March 3, 2017) - She's actually at the age where her mum died, poor girl. She's very refreshing to work with since her look is so different from the other Zeldas.
A Link to the Past (November 21, 1991) & A Link between Worlds (November 22, 2013) - Originally I also had the Oracles Zelda in this since she does have a unique design, but then again I consider the Oracles Link to be the same as in aLttP which ought to apply to Zelda as well, plus the design isn't unique in any interesting way and is just a combination of the OoT & aLttP designs, so in the end I just gave the Oracles Zelda sprite's hair buns to aLbW Zelda. Overall having to use the essentially same design for both aLttP and aLbW Zelda wasn't much fun, especially when neither really offers anything notable in terms of story or personality, but at least they're pretty far apart when it comes to age.
Twilight Princess (November 19, 2006) - I haven't played her game so I don't know a lot about her (other than reading the manga which didn't give me anything to work with either) and she's also close to her canon age (?) here so she ended up looking pretty similar to her canon design.
Spirit Tracks (December 7, 2009) - This was a tough one because technically ST Zelda does have a lot of elements to her story and character that could work for a redesign, but not really for the purposes of this picture. Anything train related is more of Link's thing, and anything ghost related doesn't really fit either since she's not supposed to be a ghost at this age. And as for the Phantom, I got the impression that while she learned to appreciate it, she didn't exactly like using it, and that personality-wise she would prefer not to go on another similar adventure. So In the end I just replaced the regular armour parts many Zeldas have in their designs with the Phantom armour and used the ghost palette for the rest of her look, and I kind of like the result. Her personality looks a little out of character though but I couldn't resist the opportunity to draw this with Grandma Tetra.
Wind Waker (December 13, 2002) - I haven't played WW so I'm not sure how accurate this is, but drawing her with the pirate design definitely added some much needed variety to this picture. I really like her twirly hairstyle in canon, but I also really wanted to draw her with short hair, so it had to go. Maybe ST Zelda can style her hair in a twirl when she gets older to compensate?
The Adventure of Link (January 14, 1987) - Really don't know what happened here, not particularly happy with the end result. I prefer to draw the Zelda 2 Zelda with her sprite design because just reusing the OG Zelda design is boring, but I really should have kept it closer to that since now she's practically unrecognisable.
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Okay I lied I do actually want to do something for the anniversary. (it won't be the anniversary by the time I post this but shhhhh)
It's not going to be turtle themed though. You guys remember last year when I made fun of rich people's houses? I'd like to do that again.
This...domicile comes to us from Camden, Maine, with seven bedrooms and six baths, tops out at 6,000 square feet and can be yours for a paltry two million.
They really wanted to show off that they had money for the fountain.
Also, is it just me or do rich people houses seem woefully cheap compared to regular people houses? Like, 2 mil is a lot, but if you do the math with the space and amenities they have-like, I highly doubt you could put three 2,000 sqft houses on this parcel of land and get one for 650k. Definitely not in Camden. I remember the first time we moved we looked at one house that was nearly 2 mil-for fun, even when we had money we didn't have that much money-and it was probably about half the size of this. And it was in suburban TC, not a ritzy summer colony. And had been built twenty years before, not the previous as this one was.
Plus this was 2008. The...particular economics of that year in regards to housing prices aside, two mil in 2008 is, uh...quite a bit more now.
So if you expand this picture, you'll see that there's Asian-esque map-looking things set into the wall, and Asian writing over the door. I think they're Chinese characters, but I'm not 100% certain. This entire house has a supposedly Asian theme. I have...things to say, but I'll hold off for now until I have more examples to show what I'm talking about.
Also I just can't with the stone choices. Kudos to them for actually trying to landscape though.
...
I mean, I will give them points for doing the complete inverse of a Lawyer Foyer. Those columns though. Like. When have those ever looked good outside a hotel lobby? When have they ever looked good inside a hotel lobby? How much dust does those bottoms collect? Why do they seemingly have hotel curtains as well?
Usually, columns like this are made of foam with a stone veneer, I think these are at least partially real. A lot of stuff in this house misses the 'cheap shit designed to look expensive' marker that defines McMansions, it looks genuinely decadent-it's just ugly as shit.
THEY HAVE TWO CHANDELIERS. ONE WASN'T ENOUGH FOR THEM, THEY HAD TO HAVE TWO MASSIVE CHANDELIERS TO PROVE THEIR DINGDONGS. AND THAT'S IN ADDITION TO THE FOYER CHANDELIER.
I like how they put the bar in directly next to the front door. Like they know you're going to walk in and will immediately need a drink.
Why is there this ugly gold runner everywhere? I feel like I'm in Trump Tower. Or a gourmet candy bar.
Yes I see the cabinet, no we're not going to talk about it right now. While I love seeing houses that actually have color in them, I'm just...the teal and pink is fine, but it's hard to pull off different variants of a color together. Teal and true blue, it's just...it doesn't work. And these guys have TVs on like every wall for some reason?
Mostly just including this picture to point out the safe on the floor. In the dining room. And to call attention to the weird goldish-bronze border that doesn't seem to start and end where it's supposed to.
Also, yes, these walls are entirely done in tile. It's like they wanted to do something other than the beige but couldn't decide what to go with so they just worked the kitchen tile through the rest of the house.
Speaking of the kitchen...
What
I. I don't. I. I. Why the sink-
????????!!!!
There's...I just don't. Like. You can't even pick a place to start.
The fact that they picked pretty much the busiest tile pattern known to man wouldn't have been such a big deal...if they hadn't tiled the inside and outside of the cabinets. And removed the doors to said cabinets. And hadn't picked a second, equally busy tile pattern to play against the first.
Actually, let's go back to the two tile patterns. Not only are they both way too busy to work with each other, they're both browns...but completely the opposite variants of brown. The lower pattern has more blacks and greys and even a bit of blue in it, while the border browns are warmer shades. You really can't mix warm and cool shades of the same color. It just doesn't look good.
And we have to talk about that counter. It looks somehow like the cheapest 90s shit you'd see in a roller rink or an ocean-themed Chuck E. Cheese, but also you know it cost ungodly amounts of money.
Why is it so thin? Why is the sink so deep in the island? Why is the recessed lighting lopsided?
And we're not even touching upon the floor. These people clearly did not understand feature elements. The floor, counter, and both sets of tile are all dueling for dominance, and we're the neglected child caught up in the custody battle sitting on the lawn with our bags. This kitchen was designed by someone who didn't care if god forgave them.
Oh okay, so we're just using those tiles throughout the entire house now. Fantastic.
That...counter is not beating the 90s cheese allegations.
Is it just me, or does the second chandelier look like it would clip your head on the way down?
No yeah, it is straight-up Right Fucking There. Completely unnecessary too, considering the plethora of recessed lighting. And they've somehow managed to make this hallway look busy despite having absolutely nothing on the walls.
I'm putting in three photos to show that these are in fact different rooms. I'm not including the other bedroom photos because I literally don't know if they're other bedrooms or just different angles of these bedrooms, because every bedroom is decorated exactly the same.
But this is what I meant when I called this house 'Asian-esque' earlier. Now, granted, I don't know a ton about modern architecture and design trends in Asia or among Asian-Americans, so I very much might be putting my foot in my mouth here and I fully deserve the ridicule if that is the case. But to me this doesn't feel like...legitimate. This feels like someone who wants to look cultured, who considers the Far East to be exotic and elegant and would unironically use the term Oriental to describe their style. It feels like they designed this without actually understanding anything about Asian art and architecture and had no desire to learn. It doesn't feel like one thing in particular, it feels like they took elements from Japanese, Chinese, and even Indian styles and gestured vaguely to all of them because they were too scared to commit.
You know, I'll give them credit, the blue does look nicer with the brown. It doesn't look good, but nicer.
Still the same lack of cabinet doors. And the same glow-in-the-dark bathroom counter. It took me a solid few seconds to find the sink there-and then I burst out laughing when I saw it.
I don't know why, but the stone plus that golden window insert makes me think Rocky Rococo.
WHY DOES THEIR GARAGE HAVE THE GRANITE FLOORING?!!
God, this is like my grandmother and her carpeted garage. But she has an excuse in that she doesn't give a fuck what you think.
I don't know why but this is fucking hysterical to me.
Also it doesn't look like there's a...door? To the garage? In Maine? Like, even if it's a heated garage, it's still going to be cold. And it's also dirty, like, you don't want bugs and car fumes wafting into your living spaces?
I haven't even mentioned the ceiling decoration or the crown molding. Or the fact that the crowd molding, doorways, and candy bar wrapper walls are all different shades of gold. And I'd like to keep it that way.
On a side note, what is up with all the recessed lighting? Not that they have it, but doesn't it seem like...a lot? Like, I feel like they could thin them out a bit, you're practically under hospital lights. People with recessed lighting, is this normal? I've only had it in one room of one house, but I don't remember it being this...dense. (I do remember my sister and I once knocked the glass out of the baffle while playing. that's how I learned that those things get really hot)
This is like a church basement if it was also The Backrooms.
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once again thinking about how things becoming art trends when...they shouldn't
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it's funny when people are trying to put pete down by insulting his bass skills or whatever and they're like "he didn't even write fob's most iconic bassline!!!" (which I'm assuming is dance dance ig idk) and it's like. buddy, pal, friendofmine. sibling dearest. I'll do you one better: I can't name a bassline he has written.
great news! it doesn't matter. I'm not suggesting he's a good bassist either, because I've never really seen anything that really supports that idea. but he's not in the band to be the world's best bass player. it's a means to an end. he's a fantastic lyricist, he's a good frontman, and the three other members of fob wouldn't want to be in the band without him. I think that's all you could ever truly ask of him. nice try though
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Kalpas and Sakura are so hot together. Every interaction, every dialogue, even the absence, is so heavy and tense and juicy
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So like legit how does one make friends when they are
-too adhd for normal people
-too depressed for adhd people
-poor (no money to do things or go places)
-25 on the outside, single mom for 10+ years on the inside
-so so lonely but so so afraid of adding anyone else to the "only want to hang out with me when you need free therapy" group that includes everyone I know
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openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.
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how did I forgor Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) when I had to list my favourite movies here recently
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It’s always very weird to me how much hate IDW OP gets in comparison to characters that are as bad or worse. Like, if hate for IDW OP was just “he’s an asshole and does xyz things,” I would get that, but the vast majority of the hate I see for him is just calling him an asshole with no particular explanation as to why. More puzzlingly, I see “IDW OP is an asshole” coming from the mouths of people who simultaneously stan characters like Pr/owl (also a cop, committed war crimes, constantly manipulates and uses people) and Mega/tron (genocidal dictator, racist against organics, generally violent and fucked up) so like???
It doesn’t seem like the problem is that IDW OP is an asshole, it seems to me like the problem is very specifically that it’s Optimus. For some reason people are just absolutely allergic to the idea of Optimus being morally gray to match a morally gray continuity. Somehow Optimus and Optimus alone is a horrible asshole who doesn’t ever deserve to be acknowledged even though the same people have no problems liking characters from the same comics who are as bad or worse? And it’s quite disappointing because it seems like in that case, it’s less about IDW OP being an asshole and more about the fact that people haven’t actually read the story and don’t care about the context/reasoning for IDW OP’s actions.
That or they just want every Optimus to be a happy silly dad or a depressed uwu dad (but only depressed in a cute and palatable way, never depressed in a way that leads to lashing out and bad decisions and social isolation), so they hate IDW OP for not being the cardboard cutout they want him to be. Instead of just... reading the OP that’s on the page and judging him based on the standards of IDW1 and the type of story IDW1 is.
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I just spent 4 and a half hours on a drawing because I was like "hmm, drawing a self portrait sounds fun" and then I spent the whole time working on it going "this is absolutely beautiful but that is not my fucking face and I can't work out why it doesn't look right"
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Sorry to still be a #Hater but, knowing I Will be playing 3 playthroughs of Persona 3 (2 Portable runs and one FES+The Answer run) sounds so much more fun and enjoyable than playing Persona 5 for a second time, vanilla or Royal I'M SORRY THIS IS A P5 HATE ACCOUNT NOW
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started last night online shopping for new bras/bralettes because mine have gotten gross af, ended it looking at crochet bralette patterns so I could make a rainbow top for pride. I solved a different problem??
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I'm just imagining using a secluded space on base to do some yoga away from the 141, only to realize Ghost's been watching disapprovingly the whole time.
Like, what you lack in raw strength compared to the boys, you have in agility. You're not nearly as rigid. You're flexible, and it's only because you take the time to work on it. You have several methods but dancing and yoga are by far your favorite.
Neither hobby you can enjoy on base much, because well...you always get stared at. So, you take it upon yourself to clear out part of old studio space used for storage. It's kind of crappy, with cracked tile and dust bunnies galore, but it'll do. You play some music in your earbuds and do your beginning stretches on your mat.
When you're in the zone you're in the zone. You end up in a place far away and yet still within yourself. The burning stretch from some of your maneuvers feels so good you nearly groan. You get lost in the personal meditation. One certain position uses a specific pair of muscles in your lower back. It takes you a moment to realize why it makes you gasp. You bite your lip and decide to take a short break.
As you untangle your body you feel something's off. You're physically fine, but your heart starts to race. Your stomach lurches. You move to stand, suddenly startled by seemingly nothing.
"Yer doing it wrong."
And just like that Ghost makes himself known from behind a shelf. He's in his workout clothes, which isn't much but some slinky basketball shorts and a tank top. Black of course. His mask is the soft one he uses when he's not on the field.
You scoff at him, still feeling on edge but also relieved at no immediate threat.
"You do yoga?" You ask incredulously. "Fine, big guy. Show me how it's done."
He rolls out a mat and gestures for you to copy him. It's a simple move, one you've perfected. And yet he still shakes his head at your form. You try it again. Wrong. Again. Wrong.
"Where am I going wrong?"
You don't expect him to reach over and grab your back leg. He pulls it out further. You stumble and he rights you with the same arm. He tuts at you, but he's the reason you're off balance.
"Lift your back. No. Higher. Your hip should be down."
Next thing you know he's behind you, his large hands making your body twist and bend. You end up in the same position as you'd been in earlier, but this time you can really feel the stretch. Maybe he was right, you were doing it wrong.
You tilt your back up and feel the familiar stretch. It's better than you've ever been able to get it on your own. You can't help the soft groan that leaves your lips. The last time those muscles had been used was before you joined the 141, when you'd still had a boyfrie-
Two hands grab at those spots. Large thumbs work circles into the areas. Despite yourself, you moan. This was going a bit too far but...
The more he kneads the more you fall to your knees. You can't hold the position with your back up anymore. You practically collapse onto the mat, ass up, Ghost knelt over you.
He still doesn't let up. His thumbs dig into those circles hard enough it should hurt but instead you only feel bliss. You bite your lip, it feels so fucking good. Eventually he relents, and stops digging into you. You whine at the absence.
"That feels so good." You groan, voice sounding way too needy for what just occurred.
"M' glad." Ghost huffs amusement evident in his tone.
Ghost grabs you and flips you over onto your back. He grabs one of your legs and pushes it as far forward towards your head as he can without hurting you. He does the same to the other. It's a weird position, but it's not far off from some of the other ones you're used to. It burns but it also feels good. Considering you're flat on your back, you feel supported.
You smile up at him, a little breathless but also happy that he's willing to help you out. Yoga did not seem like something any where near his wheelhouse.
"I didn't know you liked yoga. How did you learn about this stuff?" You ask, using your own arms to hold your legs in position as Ghost gets up higher on his knees.
Ghost huffs behind his mask as he looks down at you. He narrows his eyes, his head blocking out the white light of the overhead flourescents. You feel a hand slide between the material of your shorts and the curve of your ass.
"The Kama Sutra."
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Laios x Beastkin!Reader
an. Senshi, Chilchuck, and Marcille x Reader are mentioned quiiiite a bit in here. Izutsumi x reader is more sparse. split between furry/scaly/feathery beastkin after the more general ones in the beginning. SORRY if the formatting is weird I got "text limited" a lot on this lmfao
this is a lot so. <3 show sum luv
general sfw
when you two first meet...bro is ELATED. He knows Izutsumi, which is fine, but you're an entirely different one. Who also doesn't seem to be super against him getting to know them
He asks SO many questions. What are you mixed with? Are you naturally born or artificial? What's it like having wings? A tail?
He's testing out all your features. He loves them so much.
When there's downtime, he likes to conduct "research". This goes for analyzing your features and making notes, comparing them to his books and other notes, and even more intricate tests like reaction time and stuff.
He'll hold a candle/torch by your face and test your pupil dilation. It's oddly intimate because he's just staring you down and its like. okay. are we gonna kiss orrrr
Loves. Loves. Loves just WATCHING you. Seeing the way you pounce on little bugs for fun or get spooked by certain noises. He just smiles and is all amused.
You'll catch him doodling you pretty often. He makes notes like "y/n caught a treasure bug today. They seem pretty skilled at hunting. Failed to kill it for some reason...just played with it until it scurried off." The doodles are like...surprisingly pretty decent. The monster portions of you are the best looking and most detailed. But it's so cool to see just how much he pays attention to you and your idiosyncrasies.
Your interactions with Izutsumi also interest him. Do you guys get along? Are you prey to her? Or is she to you? If you and Izu are talking or around each other he's watching like a hawk out of pure curiosity.
However...there's a particular page in his journal where he's providing feedback on how he would make you "better" aka cooler. It's basically just his own ramblings. No Laios, an extra set of eyes and the ability to breath fire and ice and everything in between is not. better. you're just salivating over the idea of your monster OC
If you bring this up to him he actually agrees. After a lot of note taking and observation he's really fascinated just on how well suited your entire existence is to...surviving. He has a lot of theories he'd love to share about you.
But he has e x t e n s i v e notes on your body. It's something that fr makes you blush because, why is he theorizing about the base of your tail and how it connects to your spine? and the number of nipples you have? wait...how is his guess right...?
But Laios is so useful. You might as well call him your owner. You don't have to lift a finger when it comes to taking care of yourself. (He misses his dogs so you fill in.)
He takes care of your skin/fur/scales/feathers, cuts your claws, helps you file down your hooves or horns. He's very into taking care of you if you'll let him. (Marcille also hops in on this since its her love language LOL. When she's not busy with Izutsumi she helps when she can.)
If you are like...afraid of water or don't enjoy bathing. You are like the party's pet. They're debating on how to get you clean before Chilchuck is like "if you don't take a bath I am going to kill you and throw you in there myself." Laios then goes all puppy dog eyed bc he thinks Chil is being to hard on you and then he sighs and is like "fine. I'll buy you a treat when we get back to the surface."
Marcille/Laios are really good when it comes to bath time. They aren't weird about it (Laios is checking you out but. In a curious type of way. Marcille is giving him side eye if hes getting too...Laiosy. But he respects your boundaries. Just imagine Laios happily scrubbing you while humming a tune awe.)
And when it comes to sleeping arrangements...you can alternate between anyone in the party. But Laios and Chilchuck are your best bets. Marcille is an excellent sleeping partner if the dreams don't bother you, shes soo happy to have you sleep with her and she's soft and smells nice.
Laios happily lets you sleep with him. He's actually not super cuddly (unless you are he'll reciprocate). But he is very much like, giving you a ton of space. If you fall asleep before him he just relents and sleeps as comfortably as he can around you lol. Literally just like any other pet owner.
Chilchuck....sleeping with him is difficult bc Izutsumi will fight you on it, but she relents if you can fit in without much issue (bonus points if you're warm) so. You guys can both overheat this poor man. Izu may even start cuddling with you more. She finds a lot of comfort in having another beastkin in the party even though she won't say it.
And speaking of Chilchuck...you're likely a bit more cooperative than Izutsumi, so he gets your help when it comes to checking for traps and finding treasure. With your elite hearing and other abilities, he's actually really pleasantly surprised how useful you are. (If you were a half-foot he'd definitely want you in his guild). He gives you pets and treats when the others aren't really paying attention (He doesn't want them to see him doting on you is all LOL).
Okay. So. Your diet. This is an anime about eating so. Let's get down to it.
Whether you're a herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore--Laios is ENSURING your needs are taken care of in the party. It is of upmost importance to him.
He takes notes and asks about how certain foods make you feel. Are you more energized? Less energized? Stomach hurting? Pooping well? (Will ask this with upmost sincerity, he wants to make sure the butter/milk/etc used in their cooking isn't interfering with your tummy. Whether you want to answer this is up to you lol).
Laios and Senshi happily adjust things to your needs. Laios will spend time foraging with you, Senshi will find certain monsters with more nutrients that meet your needs. Senshi is also like, really knowledgeable about nutrients, so sometimes in your food he may grind up shells or bones to meet calcium needs and such. When he cooks he'll give you bones or soften them up in water so you can eat the marrow. :-)
Senshi...is the coolest though. He also lets you perch on him (like Izutsumi) and since he's lived in the dungeon for so long, he knows a lot about monsters firsthand. If it applies, he'll give you tips about yourself or some monsters you should prey on. Senshi and you go on little foraging trips too. He'll have you sniff things out in return for extra food during dinner.
Laios likes to see you hunt prey and eat it raw, though. Everyone else would rather not and it makes them sick but he thinks it is SO cool. He honestly wishes he could do that. He takes hunting lessons from you and will give you tips on being stealthier and such.
Your teeth really fascinate him. He likes testing your bite strength on different types of material (Like wood, stone, bones, etc.). He'll stick his fingers in your mouth and admire them if youd let him. He gives you so much praise in general its so cute.
AND. PETTING YOU. He is so tactile if you let him (i mean look how much he tries and fails to pet izutsumi). When you give him the all clear he is like. jumping for joy. he LOVES to pet you and praise you. He absentmindedly pets you when hes sitting down or standing by you. And when you nuzzle into his touch his heart SOARS. You can see on his face he's blushing and has that like. excited wiggly smile <3
I think when he's just sitting around he just messes with your tail. He likes it.
Lay down beside him and he will happily pet you and be like "do you like this? Is this a good spot?" Present. Your belly to him. and he is over the moon. He pets you wildly and is like "Who's a good boy/girl/monster?" He is so unashamed about doing this too. Chilchuck would put a stop to it if you didn't like it so much.
If you give him kisses or tongue bath's he's eating that shit up (i mean. look at those extra comics w him and dogs he lets dogs just kiss all over his face omfg). He isn't a huge fan of getting his hair wet (sensory issue) but when it's your drool...he can't help but be excited. Laios is all like "they're grooming me?? this means they like me, right??? Can I officially say I befriended a monster???"
It's proof that you care for him and view him as apart of your pack...he is just over the moon at this.
I will say...Laios is way too "has no backbone with you" for a while. You're chewing shoes? You can't help it! Stealing snacks? It's instinctual! Playing too rough with Izutsumi? C'mon guys...
But when he notices his party actually getting upset. You will be surprised how he can put his foot down. Not even max puppy eyes work on him. He will leash and muzzle you if needed.
But you can always get away with messing with his stuff. He thinks its fun to chase you around when you got his shirt in his maw. Then he happily wears the torn up gear and Marcille is like "let me sew it..."
For Scaly Beastkin:
He's so helpful when it comes to shedding season. Laios finds nice rocks all the time and helps scrape off any patches that are drying and crusting and hes not even phased and doesn't think its gross at all. He would keep some skin to test its resilience if you let him.
And going with that, when you need to shed and soak he would help you find a place and will happily assist with the shedding. He's so excited to be there honestly. But he feels bad you are uncomfortable so he lets you cuddle up under the water with him while you wait for your shed to soften up <3
Laios runs his fingers over your scales absentmindedly...just loves feeling how smooth they are, especially after he spent so much time helping them maintain that pristine smoothness.
He gets Marcille's help to make a moisturizing ointment to put on you every now and then so you don't get to dried out in the dungeon!! Marcille starts to fret about that too. You're just kinda chillin and she'll reach over and put ointment on your hands/cheeks/tail. Just areas you may be susceptible to drying out.
Also...he lets you use him as a heating rock. Sunshine is really limited in the dungeon, so...when you need a warm up he's there and waiting and extremely excited to warm you up with a hug.
For Furry Beastkin:
Brushes you. He'd do this EVERY evening (and morning) if you let him. He takes notes, too. Do you have an undercoat? Or is it just one? What does this mean about what environment you originated from?
He probably tries to use your shed fur to embellish his own clothes or put in his pillow/blankets. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle I guess?
And to add to that...remember how Marcille made a cute little cat head from Izutsumi's fur? He does that too. He and Marcille make cute little shapes outta your shed and giggle together about it.
If you get fleas...he is the party member you should tell. He'll help you get rid of them and won't rat you out to the other members LOL. He'd probably blame himself if it spread and the rest of the party is like "you expect us to beleive. you got fleas. Laios you would be excited if you got them."
For Feathered Beastkin:
Preening....<3. When you have pin feathers he is so sweet and gentle. gently picks them out. It kinda tickles bc he's just gliding his fingers over your wings. You'll catch him sighing in content and burying his face in the softness. It's so sweet.
He collects your feathers and shows them off to Marcille (who also really likes them.) Your down is SO useful too. The party has the softest blankets and pillows thanks to you. When you're molting everyone is calling dibs on the feathers to stuff in their bedding.
Laios examines your wingspan and is really interested on stuff like weather you can fly or not. If you can, he's in awe. He wants to see it. Maybe even fly with you if he can. Its always been a dream of his to do that.
nsfw
tw (for nsfw). monsterfucking? if that counts. mentions of vent/cloaca/knot
This man. It is so easy to tell overtime just how fucking horny he gets over monster stuff. He is addicted to just how much you differ from him. Your scales, fur, feathers, wings, etc....he thinks they're all extremely sexy.
He just loves the primal aspect of it? Like you act on instinct. Do what makes you happy. Like of course you have human reasoning and such but STILL. You're so non human and otherworldly it makes his stomach knot up and his dick hard as a rock. He wants to know EVERYTHING about you.
If you have a heat/rut cycle...he is. fucking. begging you come to him for help. jfc you don't even have to let him stick his dick in you. He just slowly probes your hole with his fingers and legit GASPS when he feels it clench around him. Not only is he learning so much about you and monster anatomy but hes also having his monster fucking dreams come true.
I mean it is a given with Laios but his fucking face is always in your hole. He loves eating pussy/ass so fucking much. And having your dick, clit, or knot down his throat drives him wild. He eats your slick and cum like he's starving. He's so sloppy with it too--there's spit and slick and cum all over his face and he's just slurping it all up like its his last meal.
He definitely "examines" you. He'll stick his fingers in you and stretch out your hole just to get a better look at what's inside. (imagine his thumbs sliding in and prying you open.) The muscles pulsating and the color and the smell...god he's drooling. You feel all vulnerable and exposed but he's just constantly praising how amazing your body and its functions are.
He busts so quick with a beastkin it....wow. Like. You are seriously all he has ever dreamed of and shit. I can't imagine he'd be able to contain himself. He cums and just still wants more, he fucks you through the overstimulation until he cries
Oh he wants to know whats in your pants so bad its ridiculous. Like. I cannot explain just how much he is vibrating with excitement
If you have a cloaca...he's very gentle with your hole at first. You explain to him what to look for, what feels good. He'll gently explore with his fingers until he finds the right hole and then he's going at it. He's shoving his tongue in there happily too. He knows what a cloaca is. He knows it's a singular vent for waste and sexual functions. Doesn't matter. His tongue is going in there. Laios is beyond excited to taste everything and see what makes you squirm.
If you have a knot...it's a given he wants you to knot him. It takes him a few tries (he can't take your knot at first because he's too tight) but when he finally is able to its like. euphoric for him. He loves feeling your warm cum in his ass and your desperate pants against his throat as your overstimulated self gets adjusted to being stuck to him. Gods.
Plus...I've discussed this on my blog in more detail but with a beastkin reader he's definitely into
You biting/scratching him up. He lovvveess being marked. Use him as a chew toy PLEASE
Predator/Prey rp: He's a trained hunter but he wouldn't mind being hunted...He loves how strong you are and how you can turn the tables on him if you wanted.
Just?? You being feral?? He likes it when you act more like your monster side and just treat him like a toy.
Breeding Kink: Even if you aren't able to get pregnant or breed (either due to sex or incompatible genetics due to being part monster), he's still really into it. You can fill him up vice versa...He loves the feeling of having you last inside him and he loves knowing you're still filled up from him. Plus, it adds to the more animalistic part of sex which is what he likes
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June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.
The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.
The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.
In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)
For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)
All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.
If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.
And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."
You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.
But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)
you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.
It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too...
Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing.
Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.
If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....
Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"
*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.
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