#I don't feel this way about characters often.

[ariessunsakura]

Disclaimer: I started writing my response to this in 2017 and found it in my drafts. I know the whole post is quite old at this point and I'm truly not interested in arguing with anyone or continuing any discussion here, but I decided I didn't want some of what I wrote back then to go to waste.

Back when I started writing my response to this, I was 21 and angry at the large swaths of the fandom insulting the intelligence of Sakura fans like myself. I still love Sakura and SS, but I don't have an issue now saying that men like Kishimoto writing dynamics like Sasuke and Sakura's is something that should be...looked into, let's put it that way haha. That being said, what I still find disheartening is seeing Sakura, very much torn down by misogynistic fans in a large, primarily male fanbase, also torn down or criticized for supposedly feminist reasons by people who are often just determined to dislike her for whatever reason or somehow clearly miss important details. Sakura was reckless and made mistakes and did questionable things, as did many other characters who for some reason draw less ire. Lots of double standards.

Just to reiterate something that's already been said many times, Naruto proves that pop culture aimed at boys should have carefully written main female characters. There is the blatant misogyny that's happened in this fandom that anyone can see. Meanwhile, certain specific fans in the Naruto fandom that I may or may not need to specify (lol) have acted like the gatekeepers of social justice discourse in the fandom when really they've often just been hypocritical and selective about the type of issues they apparently care about when it comes to how they manifest in pop culture, or at least in this bananas series. They've often been bystanders or apologists or worse to that blatant misogyny. In light of everything that's been going on in the world, I sincerely think we should be more careful about how we talk about female characters. So when people write supposedly feminist posts but say that Sakura is just the "female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations" despite everything the story has shown us, I kinda hate it and don't think that's good or feminist at all. Back in 2017, I wrote: I'm sick of condescending takes about Sakura and her fans as though there's little about Sakura’s character or the end of her story that could or should possibly resonate positively with girls.

Again, I know the original post is old. I know that Kishimoto's writing deserves to be criticized and that Sakura made mistakes and should've been written more carefully and responsibly, but I still want to say my piece.

It's true that Sakura is insecure early on, but her feelings for Sasuke really have nothing to do with that. She doesn’t know that Sasuke is popular when she starts to like him, so her feelings have nothing to do with wanting validation.

She knows her worth as a ninja and among her loved ones by part 2. She confronts Sasuke fiercely many times, even as a genin. She basically spent part 2 trying to save or fight or stop him, going so far as thinking she should kill him to protect the village. That's hardly seeking his validation.

And that's not even mentioning what we're shown rather than told about her feelings for him, which is a theme for them. It's the way they act with each other more than what they say.

Karin with her chakra sensing can tell Sakura's grief is genuine and that she must've known Sasuke well.

“There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love.”

Kishimoto gives us Karin, whose love for Sasuke is written as different from Sakura’s. Karin enables some of Sasuke's destructive choices and ultimately gives up on him, while Sakura ultimately doesn't do either of those things. And we can hypothesize all we want about Ino or some other girl being no different from Sakura, but who's to say they'd have had the same chemistry with Sasuke personality-wise or otherwise, or mutual understanding? We see from inner Sakura and in other instances that she has parallel elements of Naruto's personality, so...yeah, enough said lol. And who's to say another girl would've known exactly when Sasuke would leave the village, unlike Naruto? I think these speak for themselves:

One of the themes of SS, asserted in Kakashi's 693 quote, is that it’s about Sasuke accepting love without an overt reason so he can heal. Love in real life isn't always rational, it's about passion and attraction and things that are unspoken and can't always be put into words, which I think is what Kishimoto wants to convey with SS. The emotion for Sakura in Sasuke's eyes is concealed from us each time he thanks her for a reason. Sasuke tries to make a show of not caring about any of Team 7 or having a reason to love Sakura, but is still clearly drawn to her despite himself.

He's literally proud of her in the middle of all of the chaos and strife lol. He can't help but react to her.

Another theme for them and for other women in the story is stated by Shikamaru's father: Even the roughest woman is tender to the guy she loves.

"Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way."

I think all of the above indicates otherwise. She does challenge him and changes his behavior, least of all when he has his first taste of intoxicating power.

He says himself that he has to remove himself from her and Naruto's vicinity to accomplish his goals. And still, Kishimoto makes a point to include this theme that can also apply to Sasuke:

"...she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things."

Not true. She works tirelessly to understand and learn everything she can, and it's just not her fault that she doesn't always know everything. It honestly doesn't matter that she doesn't.

Sakura gets a lot of heat for what she says when Sasuke leaves the village, but shows she clearly understands his pain later on when trying to reason with Sai:

Never mind that Sasuke isn't even angry at her for what she said when he left.

“Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations. But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up(...)as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough.”

Anyways.

As for her family, Sakura is clearly distressed by Sarada's distress. Kishimoto inventing a task apparently only Sasuke can do leading to him being away from his family is questionable to say the least, but it's hardly the first time in the story that normal or expected standards maybe can't or don't apply. Never mind Kishimoto probably projecting his own sentiments about career burnout and sacrifice onto Sasuke and Naruto...lol

Sasuke treasures Sakura, there is no way around it.

I don't think anyone is saying Kishimoto's writing is always the pinnacle of excellence lol, and no one has to like Sakura or SS. But people should at least think a little more about what Sakura has meant to a lot of girls and how the story actually unfolds.

Just a Little Bit on Sakura and Sasusaku

You know what I think about Sakura? This is less about Sasuke and more about herself. See, as person who dislikes Sakura, I actually think that because I’m not biased with fanfiction interpretations that I have a better grasp of Sakura’s character than some people who love her. Sakura, despite her bravado, is not a person of real confidence. She has low self-esteem and very little self-worth. I think that part of the reason she is so hung up on Sasuke is its a sense of validation for herself. She was shy, friendless, unpopular, and overlooked as a child. She liked Sasuke, but even better, to be acknowledged by someone everyone likes, everyone admires, that would make her special. That would make her somebody worthwhile, right? Of course I do believe that Sakura does have feelings for Sasuke, but is she really in love with Sasuke the person, or is it the idea of him? That he doesn’t notice her or pay attention to her only makes this insecurity worse. Sakura is constantly angsting over not doing enough, not fitting in on her team, not belonging or being someone of necessity. As stated (in the only time she ever elaborates on her feelings) she is attracted to Sasuke because he’s attractive, talented, and “cool”. A person who personifies, in essence, everything she believes herself not to be. God, there’s so much to say about this really, but I’ll save it for later. 

It’s part of why Sasusaku is such an out of left field idea to me. Sasusaku shippers portray the ship as the exact same way that leads Sakura’s problematic behavior. They ship it because they love the idea of Sakura being the “special one” who is the exeption to Sasuke’s personality and his greatest weakness and is the “fangirl who’s different from all the other girls”, which is so irritating because she’s not.��Sakura is the antithesis of these concepts. There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love. There is nothing different or special about her as far as relating to Sasuke goes. As I detailed in my previous posts, she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things. Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way. They’re not even close. What does Sasuke even know about Sakura, or understand about her? Sakura, as far as Sasusaku goes, has nothing different or special about their relationship or dynamic that couldn’t be done by any other generic fangirl. Absolutely nothing. Nothing that transpired between them is anything that wouldn’t have happened had any other fangirl been placed on his team. That’s really the only thing Sakura had going for her or that seperates her from, I don’t know, Ino. Do any of you Sasusakus honestly think that if Ino was on his team that he wouldn’t have saved her life? That he wouldn’t have grown to care for her as a teammate? That he wouldn’t have thanked her for caring about him? That he would have left her to die? Or treated her like dirt on the bottom of his shoe? Do you really think that these “Sasusaku proofs of love” aren’t just generic shit that would come with virtually any other teammate, and is actually something unique that would only be there with Sakura?

‘Cause see, that's my whole thing. Can’t say that about Naruto. I can’t say that if Kiba had been his teammate, everything about their relationship would be more or less exactly the same. Or Shikamaru. Or Chouji. Or Neji. 'Cause you see, the manga has shown me this. Its shown me the depth, the reason, the relationship, the uniqueness between the two. In fact, while reading this I bet you were thinking of how different the dynamics would have been between Sasuke and those male characters, because, surprise surprise, there is actually something substantial there that can’t be replicated and receive the same results. Seriously, replace Ino with Sakura and think of what would change in regards to Sasuke. Ino would have cared. Ino would have tried to stop him. Seeing as how there are no substantial moments of bonding or exclusivity between the two, there is nothing that would have happened that Ino couldn’t fill in for. Sasuke waxed lyrical about Naruto and how much he’s always loved him and the ways in which he enriched his life for two straight chapters while Sakura got no mention (except, of course, in the Team 7 picture where he refers to them as such). Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations. 

For fucks sake, Sakura literally has nothing to do with Sasuke’s character or story arc. Seriously, delete Sakura from the manga and tell me what about Sasuke’s person or journey as character throughout the story changes. Please. Tell me something that would have affected his plot if some other girl with healing powers were on his team.

I’m just saying, there is nothing inside of Sasusaku. Nothing at all. Kishimoto doesn’t give a fuck about this pairing (lol I don’t know how they got together I don’t want any SS in the pairings movie there wasn’t gonna be any in the Bolt movie either but the SS fans are complaining so I guess I’ll come up with something here have a family pic of Sasuke looking like he’s about to run away as soon as the camera flashes and a Karin lookalike child who feels neglected), and it cannot become more apparent how little actual thought goes into this ship. Its just a vicarious fantasy ship where Sasuke is standard shoujo angsty bad boy bishie and Sakura is “independent, normal girl who’s different from all the rest” which is pretty much the antithesis of these characters. 

But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up. It takes all those things (the potential for self-reflection and learning to be a person who doesn’t need others to feel worth something) and throws it in the garbage as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough. I don’t even fucking like Sakura, but that anyone is defending that anything about what her character turned into is satisfactory and good is honestly some disheartening shit. 

[alexanderwales]

Defensive writing is when you find yourself writing in such a way as to prevent certain lines of criticism or commentary. You write in extra clauses and hedging statements and qualifiers.

This sucks to write and sucks to read, but if you expect your audience to be hostile, you either write defensively or get ready to be completely derailed by comments that you can just feel are coming.

It sucks to write because you're running this extra module in your head, the one where you check statements against the ways in which the commentariat or readership will misinterpret or go on tangents, and this is kind of exhausting, much more than just writing down your well-organized thoughts.

It sucks to read because every sentence gets buried in a nest of asterisks. The clear point is being steered through a paragraph by a phalanx of defenses. Sometimes you'll read a bit of defensive writing and the defenses will take up the majority of the piece, not even defending the point, just attempting to head off nuance and interpretation.

Maybe surprisingly, this applies to writing both fiction and non-fiction. Non-fiction is obvious, in academic works we want to make sure that we're not just bullshitting, and it's the job of other academics to think things through to their full extent. But when writing fiction there are often hostile readers, and it can feel like every decision needs to be justified to them, every bit of worldbuilding gone over so someone won't pick nits (that might not even be there), every character framed in exactly the precise way they were meant to be framed. Fiction is a matter of interpretation, and some people really just want to interpret up something to hate.

I struggle with this, mostly because there's a lot of stuff I don't care about. Sometimes there are five conversations that I want to avoid, so I find myself picking my way across the minefield. Other times I'll just give up.

And writing fiction, you obviously can't give in to the haters, because if you spend too much time on that, you're going to end up with an awful story.

Plus with reading comprehension and media literacy being what they are, you can include a specific note laid there to ward of a line of conversation and still get someone who just ... failed to read.

[reignpage]

Hi reign! Your Eden AU is everything to me 🙏 I was wondering if you’d be interested in writing mundane things about the boys and their readers? Something like the way they take their tea or what their night/morning routines are. I love the idea of knowing their characters more outside of their relationships 🩷

morning routine:

Gojo

Wake up early cause of his alarm, he has some morning classes and lecturs, doesn't go to them Goes back to sleep Wakes up in the afternoon Does some work if he feels like it, never really needs to revise, he's pretty smart Breakfast is pancakes and lots and lots of syrup, just whatever's in the pantry, or he'll go eat donuts, it's actually so bad Best believe, he'll start eating greens when he gets with reader

Reader

wakes up late too hates waking up hates the sun hates everything but forces herself to go to her lectures and classes, just don't talk to her (not that anyone does) won't eat breakfast, doesn't believe it in, think it's Big Cereal at work but is very healthy apart from that, eats a big lunch and likely goes back to sleep if her afternoon is free

Geto

often doesnt sleep at all cause he's kept up by nightmares and artistic ideas he just needs to put to paper doesn't eat breakfast, maybe drinks tea cause he's sophisticated like that somestimes goes off to ride on his motorcycle at 5am if he's feeling very restless or heads off to the garage to work on his bikes or get some business done

Reader

wakes up early, like 7am with the sun meditates eats acai bowls if she can be bothered does some reading, listens to true crime podcasts goes to every class and lecture goes to some societyes like book club and crocheting

Choso

asleep all day sometimes that's why he doesn't go to class, it's cause he's asleep he also likes to go home sometimes and just hang out with Yuji, sometimes steals him away from kindergarten paints a lot, just very angsty and emo does that thing where he hangs around a brick wall, leans against it all mysterious and smokes or goes to skateparks breakfast is a cig that's how he gets his abs frfr

Reader

wakes up pretty late likes to just paint whilst listening to music might visit some art galleries or go for brunch with her friends but most of the time she's in the art building in a studio's she's booked really getting lost in her art sometimes likes to bike around campus and say hi to people (she's actually pretty popular because of her general cheerful disposition) breakfast is something quick like toast or a bagel she buys from a local deli

Toji

hates waking up early but has to do it anyways goes for a morning run around 6am maybe shoots some hoops or whatever you call it idk sports and then goes back to sleep gets up late in the afternoon doesn't go to class very often has to maintain a certain grade and attendance but when you're a friend of Sukuna, well... breakfast is healthy bowl of fruit boiled eggs protein shake

Reader

wakes up at a normal time goes to every class and lecture so she wakes up when she needs to spends a lot of time just doing work and making applications but she puts on the recent voicemails from her Insider's Line as white noise and if she hears something really juicy then her attention gets taken away and she focuses on that breakfast is a candy bar or popcorn, she just can't be bothered to eat healthy cause that means going to the store and it's so far away (it's a five minute walk)

Nanami

wakes up early, 7am every day drinks coffee during weekdays tea on weekends/holidays peppermint or green tea to be specific reads newspapers, goes on every news platforms and reads up on current events likes to read any new scientific publication listens to podcasts (doesn't really listen to music) on his commute makes a healthy, balanced breakfast if he has time but most times he doesnt cause there's always just so much work to do

Reader

sleeps through every alarm has to be shaken away grumpy in the morning needs her coffee which is just full of sugar that's her breakfast doesn't go to her morning lectures unless it's the ones she shares with Nanami has one class with him and that's the only one she has 100% attendance, until now.... she only listens to upbeat songs in the morning so she can get pumped up

Sukuna

wakes up early goes to basketball practice goes to the gym does his homework catches up on family news and affairs, goes to family meetings and business trips etc etc attends classes when he's free or if the topic interests him but generally speaking you shouldn't expect him there eats a balanced breakfast, same as Toji cause he is an athelete and he believes his body is a temple and yada yada yada

Reader

Wakes up early too Has lots of work She has to meet the trustees or investors or potential students has to file this, fill out that, write this and so on and so forth not to mention being a law student and the buttload of readings to do very diligent though gets it all done somehow she goes to campus even if she has no classes very much from 9am to midnight and sometimes even past that if there's just a lot to do stays in the library all day breakfast is something quick like toast but she often doesn't have time to and just eats granola bars she gets from the canteen

night routine

Gojo

parties all night and if he's not partying then he's watching movies and shows gets takeaway for dinner sometimes he does have to go to the family and do some traditional bs like pray for their ancestors or something hatessss that but loves seeing his grandpa (the patriarch) tho sleeps around 2am, later if he's at a party sometimes he's not in a mood to party, he just likes the noise

Reader

watches true crime documentaries to unwind drinks some concoction she calls tea maybe smokes some dried rose petals or something goes to the hospital as often as she can goes to sleep at a good time but will be on her phone for a while also the type who needs to masturbate to sleep lol

Geto

doesn't really sleep again drives around or works out angstily stays up last in the studio, likes to shoulder the burden of closing and wrapping up so his employees can go ahead also likes to just go through his mail and dms for next pro bono case eats lots of meat, like steak tbh sometimes when he's extra bored, he'll actually attend a party with gojo and Nanami's reader regrets it very quickly though so they often just go out in the streets or sits on the roof and shares a cig

Reader

does face masks drinks tea salad and salmon type of girl watches true crime documentaries maybe does some drawing and painting or reads a book by the window very chill very classy clean girl energy fr

Choso

up all night paints vandalises private property listens to metal forgets to eat sometimes has to do family business stuff but he's usually allowed to sit out or just no directly participates they sometimes leave him to take care of the kids sometimes likes to hang around reader's place like Edward Cullen

Reader

Often with friends at night doing movie marathons or having dinner pretty social sometimes gets stuck in the art building she falls asleep as she's painting and she's been locked in a couple times has even gotten friendly with the groundskeeper comes home late sleeps pretty soon after that

Toji

sleeps at a decent time knows the importance of getting his sleep goes to parties like maybe 3-4 times a week sleeps with at least one girl a day tbh sometimes can't sleep, in which case he'll be at the gym or shooting hoops again likes to go see his brother when he can eats healthy again boiled chicken and salad or something equally depressing

Reader

sleeps late writes a lot reads a lot scrolls on her phone feeling a little envious of all the fun people are having when she was dating her bf, she'd always have to wait up for him cause he gets really drunk and doesn't know how to get home and she felt a lot of dread at him coming over and expecting sex but now she's just living her best life getting all the good sex she deserves with toji even goes to parties with him now

Nanami

Sleeps late cause of all the work he has to do eats pizza if Haibara's ordered in but prefers homemade meals reads until he feels sleepy pretty boring tbh unless he needs to jerk off cause his reader was especially bold that day

Reader

sleeps late parties all night sometimes she's all partied out and in which case she watches true crime docs with her sister or horror movies and sequels and complains about everything they go home pretty often too to go see their parents online shops until dawn sometimes very messy no routine

Sukuna

sleeps late sometimes doesn't sleep at all creeps around night like Batman goes to parties just to sneer at the drunk people also likes to cause trouble if he's bored so he'll make some guys fight or put something in the way so they'll trip and fall just likes to push people around him maybe tries to steal a girl's virginity or something eats pretty normal Uraume always makes sure he gets his 5 a day

Reader

sleeps late also sometimes doesn't get any sleep if she's very very busy or very very stressed stays up late dreaming of all the ways she can make her enemies suffer she's so me fr also stalks people online cause she likes to know what's happening around campus eats healthy tho lays out her outfit for the next day journals has a minute by minute schedule

[northopalshore]

Northopalshore's

24/25 Solar Return

Observations

It's my birthday! (21 dec), I thought about writing predictions for myself based on my SRC every year just as a marker that the year is ending & a new one will commence shortly. Are you finally the person you've been striving to be?

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

𝄞 Capricorn rising (17°)

I'll be busy this year, focused on my work and goals. I'll aim to be very productive this year! To be more responsible & act more mature. Taking in a lot of responsibilities. Though, with that Leo degree I may be gaining a lot of attention for my work or competence. An "examplementory" character.

𝄞 Pluto (0°) & venus (15°) in 1st H aquarius

Another glow up! I could lose a lot of visible weight this year, and I could refine my aesthetics or perfect my makeup as well. Since they're in aquarius, it's likely I'll be standing out with the way I look or dress this year. I've been really itching to get a tattoo too. I don't give a fuck that we aren't supposed to lol.

𝄞 Aquarius 2nd H, Saturn in 2nd H/Uranus in 4th H

Venus aquarius (gemini) square uranus Taurus (aquarius °)

• unusual spending habits (i.e being very stingy with something yet spending a lot on other stuff)

• finances could be quite unpredictable this year i.e I won't be able to expect when I need to use money/ unexpected events. I'll could earn a lot of money for something unexpected, or just work odd jobs/online, by doing something I don't usually do or have never expected to do

• dressing differently than others around me

• people talking about how I look very 'unique'

𝄞 Venus 1st house square uranus in 5th house

An unexpected relationship? Or an unexpected love interest. I could be attracting a lot of borderline unwanted romantic attention. (Venus in aquarius squaring uranus in taurus)

𝄞 Fama (10° Capricorn), saturn (13° Aries) in 2nd H pisces

• gain more attention through aesthetics

• getting attention for care in expenses

• being frugal/ disciplined with finances

• spending/earning money on/from esoteric stuff

• hard time controlling money ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

• if I start offering my services, I might get a lot of traction/clients, but it might be more than I can handle if I don't put up any limits/restrictions

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) in 3rd H pisces

• talking on social media

• speaking with a dreamy gentle tone

• I might lose my train of thought quite often TT

• talking about esoteric knowledge/ metaphysical

• bursts of creative writing

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) trine mars in 7th house

Working on or creating art, music, writing with a partner. Could also mean learning or talking about the occult with someone closely. Could be creative projects with partners/coworkers/friends. Working well in collaborative projects.

𝄞 North node (2°taurus), chiron (19°) in 3rd H aries

• focus on communication/learning

• communication & mental fatigue

• feeling burdened by the amount of work that has to done

• feels like I have to juggle my intellect between a lot of events

•. feeling rushed with projects or events concerning writing or speaking

• having a lot of ideas, offering a service related to writing, thinking, communicating (literally signaling that I'll be starting private readings lmaoo)

𝄞 4th H in aries, mars (r) in 7th H

• living situation feels rushed, combative, competitive

• independent home life, living alone, switching housemates

• arguments amongst the people I live with, being outside more often

• reflecting approach to relationships

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊

𝄞 Uranus retrograde (23° Aquarius) in 5th H taurus

• rethinking what brings excitement to me

• thinking of picking up strange hobbies

• unexpected love interests

𝄞 Jupiter retrograde (14°taurus) in 5th H gemini

• reshaping what truly brings value and joy especially in love life, being more careful with love interests

• getting a lot of new experiences

𝄞 6th H gemini, mercury in 11th H:

• making a lot of new friends online

• popularity amongst coworkers

• gaining a lot of diverse friends

• doing daily activities w friends

• talking a lot during work

• creative collaborations

• working online more, posting more

𝄞 Groom (4° cancer) retrograde in 6th H cancer

Working with future spouse but it also counts if I'm doing something related to him on a daily basis. In my case, I think I'll be writing about him but also longing for him (hah!). Longing to be next to him. Even if I meet him this year, I don't think we'll be able to spend much time face to face with eachother because of distance or work. Our routines may clash.

𝄞 Descendant in cancer (17° leo), moon in 8th H

• feeling safe & comfort within relationships

• harmonious relationships

• changes in relationships

• possible crushes, secret relationships

𝄞 Briede (8° Scorpio) in Sagittarius 11th house squaring moon (8° Scorpio) in Virgo 8th house

I could learn (realize) something quite hard about my love life (more specifically life as a wife). Perhaps it will be harder than I thought it would be. I might have to sacrifice a lot for it.

𝄞 Briede (8° scorpio) conjunct mercury in 11th house

I could be learning more about myself as a wife online, or through purchasing esoteric services. People could also gossip about me or my relationship this year. Could be online, could be my social circle as well. However, it's likely I'll just be the one yapping about the Briede (19029) asteroid/persona chart a lot next year.

𝄞 Mars (4° cancer) retrograde in 7th H leo

Getting secret admirers, my love life could be quite difficult. Perhaps my future spouse and I will be butting heads or have a few arguments. However, since it's retrograde I think rather than being mad at eachother we'll be frustrated with our situation. That is, if we do "meet".

On the other hand, it also means indirect confessions, or having to take the leadership role/compromise a lot in joint collaborative work i.e assignments.

𝄞 Mars opposite pluto in 1st house

If this concerns my FS, we could have disagreements on whether our relationship should be public or not, our relationship could also effect our images greatly whether good or bad, or both.

If not, then this means I'll be taking on more work than I'm supposed to this year, finding it difficult to let things go as is, or some group members may be rather negligent of their tasks, forcing me to decide what to do.

𝄞 7th house ruler in 8th house

A secret relationship? Something scandalous could be happening in my love life. Since it's Cancer/moon, I could be keeping a lot of my feelings about this person a secret. Our relationship could be kept a secret as well. Could be a karmic relationship.

𝄞 8th H in leo, sun in 12th H (29°leo)

• nightmares could be possible perhaps due to exhaustion

• deep introspection of self

• reshaping how I attract attention

• choosing to be alone, do my own thing

• having to keep a lot of secrets

• I might travel on my own this year

𝄞 Moon (8° Scorpio), vertex (15° gemini) in 8th H virgo

• the way I think & process emotions will be transformed

• fated transformation/death/rebirth

• feelings are more intense this year

• lots of fast, sudden, "unexpected" new beginnings

𝄞 9th H in virgo, mercury in 11th H

• travelling with friends

• travelling for studies

• documenting travels

• planning travels

• working with friends

𝄞 POF (26°Taurus) in 9th H virgo

Perhaps I'll have good luck with my assignments. I'll be very focused and lucky when it comes to my studies. I'll be very hard working, and that hard work will be paid off.

𝄞 Lilith (19° Libra) 9th H in libra

There may be some issues with traveling alone. I might have to be moving around alone a lot even if I'm not comfortable with it. There might be some disagreements or slight dissatisfaction when it comes to studies or friendships.

𝄞 10th H in libra (23°aquarius ), venus in 1st H

• harmonious work

• popularity in work

• self focused work

• attracting more attention in general

• something about my relationship/love life could be highlighted or very prominent, a relationship could be revealed as well

• being an "IT" girl

• working on social media? Doing something I've never done before, getting attention for it

𝄞 Union (24° pisces) & Juno (15° gemini) Scorpio in 10th house:

Working with future spouse. Meeting through my work..? Meeting through my blog? Lmao. Honey are you reading this?! I don't see myself working with him on his career (at least not yet), perhaps he'll be reading my posts (writing) online and not notice it's me at first. This makes the most sense to me at the moment but it's just a theory though.

Note: SRC union conjuncts my natal union, SRC Pluto conjunct natal Juno, SRC Uranus conjunct natal Briede in the 3rd house, SRC Chiron (retrograde ) conjunct natal Boda.

There seems to be something significant about my love life but it looks like I'll also be rather weary of it at first. Perhaps I'll be contemplating on what I truly need or believe about my FS, things may feel rather rushed, and I might start having second thoughts about how things will progress. I think so especially because both SRC Chiron & natal Boda are in Aries. A lot of second-guessing may occur. A lot of procrastinating for some reason.

𝄞 Vesta (24° pisces) Libra 10th house:

I'll be making a lot of new connections, friends and relationships. Most of my new friends/acquaintances are ( and will be) from different states & even countries. Our relationship will likely be very harmonious or mostly harmonious. We will share the same goal or drive. Meeting new acquaintances through my blog perhaps?

𝄞 11th house in scorio, pluto in 1st house

• posting more online

• being more popular online

• transforming online identity

• transformation social circles

Something shocking about me could be revealed to my close circles, or even on my blog. The blog might come under scrutiny this year as well, with people suddenly flocking in to either disagree with my posts or just people looking into my blog more (usually with an intent to dig some dirt or information about me). This could also cause a lot of discomfort or discourse trying to continue something I've been doing or even cause a shift in the way I approach something.

𝄞 12th H in Sagittarius, jupiter retrograde in 5th H

Education being draining or tiring. I could be rather burdened by school work or assignments, perhaps I'll be doing most of my work alone or may not truly feel connected to my work. Uni life will grant me a lot of opportunities to do things I wouldn't normally do. Perhaps I'll have a lot of fun doing assignments & learn to love my life here.

I'm also really close to the capital city of my country so I'll be able to go to many, manyy events in & out of uni on my own. Since it's in retrograde it's still going to be quite overwhelming. A little bit of a culture shock for me as well.

𝄞 Boda (24° ) conjunct Eros (26°) in 12th H Sagittarius

• thinking/dreaming of marriage feeling more connected to the future, being more laid back about love, marriage, and connections, going with the flow

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⭑

Thank you for reading ily!! ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore SRC 2024 all rights reserved.

[raelemond]

sorry for the re-reblog, but going to add to this:

a big shift for me as a writer was when I stopped thinking of the character as a person and started thinking of them as a vehicle by which to convey the story I want to tell. it's why I don't like those games that ask you to answer questions about your character as a writing development tool. (they're fine for fun! I just don't think they improve anything.) characters are the primary way people engage with stories (I feel pretty comfortable saying that, looking at millenia of storytelling traditions across cultures), but there's so much more to stories, like St John said.

one exercise that helped me figure out pacing is prediction. I don't just passively consume a piece of media, but try to predict what happens next based on what I know about the genre and how I would operate as a storyteller; if I guess the ending correctly, when did I guess? how did I guess? did it actually feel satisfying, or are the creators using intrigue/excitement ("what happens next?!") to keep the audience engaged?

(I was watching a mystery series about a girl trying to solve her own death recently--I didn't love the ending, because it played into that exactly, but the ending I would have gone with didn't fit the genre well because it was too dark for the levity portrayed in the story.)

this also varies by culture. I fucking love German TV dramas, they're so much darker than American dramas tend to be, for example! they don't feel the need to end on a happy ending or give us a resolution. Colombian dramas (not telenovas) are somewhat absurd; they often mix humor and high stakes situations in a way that I suspect many Americans would find off-putting, but many Colombians love.

anyway. there's a lot that goes into it and 99% of it needs to be learned by reading and watching all kinds of media.

If there’s a piece of writing you love, that makes you wish you had the ability to do what it does, the tools you're looking for are inside the story itself. Fiction is rarely mysterious in how it works. All you have to do is pay attention with the right mindset.

What you’re looking for is cause and effect, set-up and pay off. What does that piece of dialogue set up a) within the scene and b) later in the narrative? What purpose does this moment serve for the story as a whole? Can you identify the turning points within the scene and the turning points in the larger narrative? How do they fit together? You’ll find these things tend to fall into general patterns. Don’t get distracted by focusing on character details, analysis, or speculation! Fandom tends to overemphasize character to the exclusion of everything else. You probably already know how to analyze characters, but how much time do you spend thinking about the mechanics of the narrative? If you can figure out what makes the stories you love work, you can teach yourself to do any kind of storytelling you want to.

[formylovetodaryldixon]

“When you finally came back.” Daryl Dixon Imagine.

After escaping from the saviors, Daryl and you finally meet again to stay together this time. And there, alone, your husband gives you a letter that perhaps expresses a little of what you mean to him.

A/N: This is an imagine I wrote looong time ago. This is literally my second try to write smut, but I don't do it often because I feel i can't express properly how the characters feel :( But I tried, so I hope you like it AND the letter Daryl gives to you. Thank you!

We’ll find a way to get you back. Okay? Just be strong, please. The only thing he can’t take away from you is your strength. So you just have to prove them you are stronger than them.”

With the light steps of a professional hunter, like the most dangerous and silent animal, that predator that doesn't make the slightest noise before catching its prey, Daryl walks through the empty halls, in the middle of those cold and gray walls. The small chance of escaping from that place is shaped as a key, hiding in the pocket of the trousers he stole from Dwight’s room, not without destroying his carved figurines on the table first. Daryl is agile to avoid the saviors, deathly silent as he takes that pipe, running down the last aisle before turning in the right corner to leave the place, hiding his face under a cap.

Finally, Daryl opens the door to get out of the building, running to the first bike on the line full of them.

“What the hell…” Fat Joey looks at Daryl, who looks at him back, holding a calm, but completely threatening look. “Wow. Wow…” Joey drops the half of his sandwich and raises his hands in the air, just to show he is harmless. “It’s cool. I swear…”

Daryl approaches him, slowly, his gaze fixed on the frightened prey in front of him.

“Buddy, you can walk down that back gate there and I won’t say anything to anybody. I’m supposed to be there now, but… listen… I… I’m just trying to get by, just like you… Please…”

But, with a contained fury that surpasses human strength, Daryl lifts the pipe and smashes it into Joey’s head, again and again, and again. He remembers the brutality with which he was treated, the fear, and the anger that explodes inside him right there, letting out all the pain in the most inhuman way possible.

Turning around the corner, Jesus runs to him from behind some trucks, stopping at the bloody commotion.

“Daryl…” Jesus says, but Daryl doesn’t stop while the blood splashes on his clothes and part of his face. “Daryl!”

Like being pulled out of a trance, Daryl finally stops, looking at what is left of Joey.

“He was jus' walkin’ by here… but it ain’t 'bout gettin’ by.” Daryl breathes out, dropping the pipe. Rick’s gun is hanging from Joey’s waist and Daryl takes it, straightening up himself to look at Jesus. “Ya know anythin’ 'bout ma wife?”

“Yeah. Carl said she’s fine so don’t worry. You will be with (Y/N) again very soon.” Jesus looks at Joey quickly before looking back at Daryl, still surprised by what had happened.

Daryl nods absently, thinking about you as he walks again to the bike.

“I got the key. Let’s go.”

As the others enter the Hilltop through the tall wood gates, your owl brooch slips from your shaky hand in the middle of your way. You are nervous, and you stop yourself to pick it up. The brooch has two silver owls sitting on a branch, and it might have been cheesy if you had received it in the old world you used to live in, and although Daryl said that too when he gave it to you, the gift was a reminder of him.

Finally, you walk through the open gates, but stopping yourself again as you hold the brooch a little harder when you see Daryl pulling away from Rick’s hug when he looks at you. Rick smiles before patting his best friend’s back so Daryl can walk to you, without stopping for a single second. You feel the tingling in your chest, something moving inside you, like the flapping of thousands of butterflies. Then, he picks you up from the ground, taking you in a warm embrace as you wrap your legs around his waist, arms around his neck as his strong arms around your back hold you tight. Still holding the brooch, you hide your face in the crook of his neck as you feel a total relief to see him safe.

A breath of air for the times you two stopped breathing, hearts beating again for the times they stopped beating, bodies aching for the time you two were apart.

“I made it, peach.” Daryl says, breathless, pulling apart just a little to look into your eyes. “I made it thanks to ya.”

But you shake your head saying no, pushing his hair away from his eyes.

“You made it because you’re strong.”

Then, Daryl smiles softly, finally in peace before kissing you.

After the failed attempt to convince Gregory to fight against Negan, fighting against the urge to shoot him when he found a polite way to tell you all to go to hell, while using the back door of the Hilltop, you all go to see King Ezekiel looking for help, guided by Jesus and his good intentions, but that doesn’t work either. King Ezekiel wanted to give asylum to Daryl, but he rejected it believing that the lack of strength from the king against the saviors wasn’t going to help you all beat Negan and his sadistic people.

It was a waste of time for Daryl, so with all of you standing in the middle of the street in the Kingdom, he puts his hand on your lower back to make you turn, pulling you with him to get out of there. One by one, the group walk to the exit too, plunging into a new kind of disappointment.

“Hey. Open it up!” Daryl says to the man in charge of the front doors. “We’re gone.”

The gates make a metallic sound and it opens for the group who walk out of there.

“You’re not.” Rick says to Daryl, and in the middle of his confusion, Daryl takes your hand to stop you.

“I ain’t stayin’ here.” He says looking at Rick, his accent getting thick, his voice deep but full of frustration.

“You have to. It’s the smartest play. You know it is.” Rick places his hand on Daryl's shoulder, trying to tell him with words and a kind look that this is what he had to do. “Try to talk to Ezekiel. Whatever it takes. We’ll be back soon.” Rick walks out of the kingdom, looking at you both before the doors closed. “We’ll come back for you two.”

Alone in that unfamiliar place, Morgan guides you two to a room so you both can rest. Your spirit is more tired than your body, so you say thank you before following him, with Daryl taking your hand to let himself be guided as well.

Uneasy with the lack of support, but not wanting to say anything because more negativity is not going to help save the situation, you lie back in bed on your right side, kicking your boots off first, head on the pillow, your disappointed gaze lost in the window. Daryl closes the door, locking it before approaching the bed as well, taking his boots off as well before lying on his side so he could look you in the eyes this time.

"We will going to be okay, right?" You ask, in a small voice.

His hand looks for the warm of your body, your soft skin under your black t-shirt, smiling at the contact he missed so much.

"We will, peach."

The sunlight comes in, the garden is green on the outside, people’s voice passing by the building, thinking they will be safe forever. Even if Daryl doesn’t want to stay there he had to. It was necessary for him to be safe from the saviors. However, now, he seems to enjoy your hand massaging his hair. His eyes are closed, growling softly once in a while every time you touch a good place. Everything seems to be okay when the world is as quiet as it is right now, without the endless grunting of the walkers, nor Negan’s voice that had no mercy.

“Stop thinkin’ 'bout it, peach.” Daryl says softly, opening his eyes again, taking your hand away from his hair to hold it in his. “We’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

He watches the ring in your finger, the place where it belonged to, and then, Daryl finally looks at you for real. This time, for a moment at least, there is not a shred of shame in his gaze, exposing himself completely to you, as he did every time you two were alone, because it was easy for him to be who he really was with you. Your love was the kind of love he never thought he would get, or deserved, but there you are now: loving him like no one else ever did.

“I got somethin’ for ya…” His hand leaves yours, looking in the back pocket of his pants. But suddenly, it is as if a feeling of vulnerability comes over him as Daryl pulls a folded sheet of paper, handing it to you as his blue eyes sparkle with a new kind of shyness. “S’something I wrote for ya… ’bout ya, actually.”

You smile at him before looking at the paper, but without opening it yet. You know Daryl never was good with words, even when there was so much he wanted to tell you, so you understand that he decided to write those feelings down. But they weren't even a quarter of what he really felt for you.

“Can I read it now?” You look at him kindly, giving him the option to be there or not if he wasn't comfortable with it. "If not, I can wait until I'm alone."

“Ya can read it.” He gets closer to you, pushing you softly for you to lay on your back, climbing on you, his nose brushing your skin as he starts kissing your neck, his hand caressing your side. “I'll entertain myself with somethin’ else.”

You love the sudden hot feeling, the tickling between your legs in anticipation, the need to have him close again.

“That’s not fair, you asshole.” You chuckle, trying your best to read the letter.

Daryl loves the aggression, chuckling too against your skin as he pulls himself lower, just to meet your most sensitive and still covered area. His hands look for the bottom and the zipper of your jeans, pushing them out of you with your underwear lock in his fingers. You try very hard to concentrate on reading, trying to understand the messy words on the paper, but when Daryl buries his face into you without a warning, just to devour you completely, earning a moan form your closed lips, it is impossible to do so.

His hot tongue moves against you, kissing and licking and sucking, sending a vibration with the low growl he makes and that travels through your entire body, so intense that you have to hold onto his long hair to keep your balance, so that your bent legs wouldn't give in with everything he’s giving you.

Your back arches, overwhelmed with the thousands of different sensations that hits you right there. The cold air mixes with the heat emanating from his tongue, as hot as your body starts to be, so hot that you think it is hell itself. The view of the roof is replaced with darkness behind your closed eyes, mouth finally open as the pleasure is starting to make you see stars.

For a second, you think he can make you come with just that, just like the previous times he did it, but now it is because it had been a while since you two made love, your body extremely sensitive to his touch. And right there, your sex is throbbing painfully, waiting impatiently for him to be inside you.

“Daryl, please…”

He can hear the plea in your voice, so full of desire that he can feel it right in his hard member. Daryl licks and tastes one more time, his warm hands holding your hips, pulling you closer to his mouth to get you ready. Daryl loved that feeling every time he ate you out, to know only he could take you so high with only his tongue, listening to those sinful sounds from your precious mouth, but as he rises on his knees, his hands catching the buttons of his shirt to remove it, Daryl and his ego love the view of you.

“Take off yer t-shirt.” He says low, and it is not a warning but a promise. “This ain’t over yet, peach.”

You lick your lip but you do as he says, sitting on the bed before taking the t-shirt out of your body, your bra next, with him loving the view of your naked and soft flesh. But as he finishes the last bottoms and while feeling bold, you lean forward, your hands finding the belt of his pants, mouth close but holding an innocent smile as you undo it.

“Only ya can be hot and cute at the same time, woman.” Daryl growls. “Now lay back and lemme feel what I've been missin’ all this time.”

You lay back down, watching your husband take off his pants and his boxers, like the hottest imagine in the whole world. Daryl is hot, with his broad shoulders, the tattoo in his chest, his strong arms, calloused hands that always touch you softly. And when he is completely naked, he lays on top of you, feeling the beating of your heart in his own body, with you bending your legs at each side of his waist and hips, feeling him pushing himself inside of you.

He is thick, and he fills you completely, reaching places you are dying to feel him, and then, your moans and his grunts are silenced when he kisses you, finally moving. Your hips receive the movement of his, pushing himself even deeper, one hand on your cheek, the other holding himself at the side of your body.

You feel his length beating inside you, your walls squeezing around him, making him growl against your parted lips. The feeling inside you intensifies with the minutes, with the swaying of his body and yours, your hands hugging his back, feeling his muscles contract under your touch.

Daryl rests his forehead against yours, breathing through his parted lips.

“That feels good?” He asks, and you nod, drowned in the sensation to form a word. “Lemme feel ya, peach. I really need ya right now.”

He chokes with his own words, looking at you with eyes full of lust, between the strands of hair that fall over his forehead, but when you think that can’t get any hotter, Daryl brings two of his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them before pressing them against your clit, rubbing the area, hard and fast, causing you to cry his name.

And he fucking loves that. He would gladly drown in your voice calling his name.

The sensations and the sounds are making him mad as he feels close to his climax, pressing himself into you even harder, deeper and faster when he feels your inner walls clenching against him. You feel close too, and it takes you seconds to finally cum letting out a cry, feeling him release inside of you with one long push.

Daryl buries his face in your neck, breathing heavily, moving slowly as you two enjoy the hot feeling leaving your bodies. You stroke his hair for a while, just to give him some comfort.

And after a while, he pulls away to look at you, so close you feel his nose brushing yours, with him smiling at the contact. Daryl strokes your cheek softly, making you smile too. His touch is always soft, it is sincere, just like his love for you.

“I love ya, Mrs. Dixon. Yer the only one for me and it’ll be like that for the rest of ma life.”

After saying that, Daryl presses his lips against yours, and it melts you like honey, so sweet like his love for you. He came back to you to stay for real this time, and as he falls sleep on his side after a while, dressed again, pressing his body against yours, you take the letter which was forgotten next to the pillow.

His handwriting was always messy, and you used to tease him about it, but now, it makes you hold the air inside your body as you start reading.

Ma little angel:

Awake or when I can sleep, I’m always dreamin’ about ya. Sometimes, I dream ‘bout meetin’ ya in the old world. I wish I could have found ya there. Our life together wouldn't have been perfect but I’d have worked hard to give ya all the things ya deserved, I’d have done everythin’ to make ya the happiest woman in the world. I know someone like me couldn’t have offered ya much in that world, fuck, I can’t offer ya much in this one either, but I promised ya I’d protect ya from everythin’ and Imma keep ma word, ‘cause now I can’t live without ya. Ya always were a sweet thing to look at, and even when Carol used to make fun of me when she caught me doin’ it, I couldn’t stop. But even now, when in ma mind I see the ring in yer finger, I still can’t believe ya are really ma wife. I never told ya this, but when ya said yes, I promised God I would never let ya go. And now, ya’re stuck with me forever, ‘cause thanks to ya I started livin’ and not jus’ survivin’. So yeah, ya’re ma life, ya are the peace, the sun, the moon and all the fuckin’ stars in the diamond sky as ya call it.

It was nice to find someone who loves me like ya do, even with ma temper. I love ya, peach, so much, and I’m sorry I don’t say it often. Ya know I’m bad with words, but I’ll try to be better.

Yours, Daryl Dixon.

@fluffy-dixon

[moonwoodhollow]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉

I was kindly tagged by @surelysims/@theplottdump to share my favourite screenshots of 2024, so let's go and buckle up!

Oh, and before I forget, I'll tag: @elderwisp, @bunnithechubs, @acuar-io, @hauntedtrait, @elderberries-and-honey

@whyeverr, @irrewilderer, @neishroom, @nyssasims and @cheapeazzze &

@thebramblewood (don't feel pressured to do this btw & take your time, if you were already tagged, sorry!)

Midcentury Modern Madness, as I call it. Once you've got it, you'll keep it and feel the itch to build another Midcentury build every once in a while.

Ah, the duality of a woman -> that was when I created Griselda Oreolo, an ancient vampire for @thebramblewood's story and thought It'd be cool to tell her origin story, which I did... except for adding the really cool epilogue that I had in mind. It's on the list for 2025.

Ah yes, another woman with two sides (is that a pattern?). @acuar-io asked for outlaws, and I (hopefully) delivered. I was initially thinking I could do some sort of historical gameplay/story with her, but then I remembered what I'd have to build for that kind of story, and I quickly gave up.

You don't see me very often doing gameplay and if I do, I rarely post about it on the blog; but I'm still doing the 'have as many babies until elderly challenge' (NOT the 100 baby challenge, okay!). My opponent? @simsofstrawberryhill who sadly lost all of her progress. Does that mean I already won? Probably! Will I continue playing? Yes. Because as exhausting as it is, it's also the most ridiculous gameplay I ever had.

Aeons ago (2023) I started a story with Venessa Jeong as my main character, I still took lots of screenshots for story posts that never saw the light of day in 2024, but hey not all hope is lost, we might get somewhere in 2025.

Ah, the Simblr Met Gala, that I obviously needed to go to with no other than Venessa. I still love the shots I took and I can't wait until next year.

One of the few men I put in situations this year, although he was way more present in @bunnithechubs bachelorette challenge, which he obviously didn't win, I mean who could go against the hunk of a man that Darius (by @rasoyas) is?? Yeah, no one. Would you believe he's currently living in that Christmas house I posted about 2 days ago... I can smell a story brewing, but it has to wait until next year!

...Now for some aesthetic screenshots of some interior I really loved doing this year. More to come next year!

Truly a Christmas miracle - I finally had another opportunity to show this lovely couple, André and Prisha!

And that's a wrap with my favourite Christmas couple! Enjoy your holidays everyone <3

[halogenwarrior]

At this point, I feel it's silly to hate any fictional character and I just can't bring myself to - at worst, I might think a character is neutral and uninspiring. Yes, if a character does morally horrible heinous actions, then a good writer will make you feel the weight of it and be revolted, and some characters are best appreciated by recognizing those actions and not turning them into your woobie doll... but that disgust for their actions means they are doing their job and are well-written, and in addition I can feel that simultaneously with interest, even fascination in the character's psychology and story. Just boiling down a character to "lol they suck (and I'm not going to bother investigating why they do the sucky things from the point of view of the character's mind or from the point of view of themes of the story)" can be just as harmful to understanding the story as babying them so much that you downplay the horror and cruelty of their actions.

And then there are the badly written characters, but while you get frustrated with them I would rather take the frustration out on the story and author, while the character themselves I can often appreciate for their wasted potential. An author's pet/"Mary Sue" type character, can still be appreciated sometimes as a well-rounded character with interesting flaws, just that the narrative doesn't use those flaws to challenge them enough, and a character who is less sympathetic than intended can be appreciated either in the same way (they make an unintentionally great deeply flawed character, even an unintentionally great villain) or for how interesting and meaningful their story could be if they really were what the narrative portrayed them as, and you can use your imagination or fan fiction for both!

At worst, I'm just not interested in a character, I think they are written too simplistically for there to be anything there or they are badly written and I don't see any interesting potential beneath that. In which case, that's not the same as hating the character, I just move on and don't think about that guy. Sometimes even then I will see a post online from an appreciator of that character I could care less about and gain a greater appreciation myself as a result. In general, I feel people in fiction/fandom communities could be so much happier if instead of hating individual characters, they hated writing choices and saw characters as tools that can only be good or neutral.

[arafaelkestra]

To add to Chuck's thought here: making your art 'perfect' technically, in the sense of everything looking shaded correctly, everyone having a nicely proportioned character arc and following their expected tropes, etc... what you get is sterile and formulaic and flat more often than not. That half shaded moon will probably put some people off, the random guy throwing rocks at a guard in the rebellion will be derided as lazy writing with no dramatic development... the diner you accidentally painted without a door again will haunt you for the rest of your career, apparently. It's easy to focus on that part of the conversation and not the fact that those criticisms things are possibly part of the draw for the majority of the audience. I know about the diner painting I referenced because something about it strikes a mental chord just a bit better for having something subtly 'off' about it that you may not register consciously at first. A moon hanging in the sky of a scene that looks wrong somehow (even if it's objectively realistic) can be a great way to add to a feeling of otherworldly dissonance or artificiality to an outdoor scene, especially during the day. (Rock Throwing Guy is a whole rabbit trail I won't get into, ask @tomthefanboy if you want to hear his legend) Take the following with a grain of salt, I'm a programmer and (only arguably) a writer, not remotely a musician so this is Dunning-Krueger tinted metaphor rather than literal; I think that nearly all good art at some level, is jazz, in the same way that jazz is arguably like slapstick. As I understand it a jazz player has to know how to play a song as written, what the rules and format are expected to be, and what makes it jazz are the points of deviation. What makes it good jazz is what those points are and how skillfully they're arranged to express something in contrast with the rules they're breaking. Slapstick is the same way; to reliably look like an uncoordinated idiot having a series of exaggerated stumbles and fuckups takes a great deal of skill and coordination. On a more basic level, even good photography will look (sometimes dramatically) different from what you'd have seen simply standing there when the picture was taken. TL:DR; Artistically speaking, knowing where the lines are is for making sure you don't trip on them, not for caging yourself inside them.

off kilter moon

thought from my morning trot: the moon has a half shaded way right now that looks a little off. it is not 'aesthetically pleasing' and i cant help think if someone painted it EXACT they would have buds saying 'you gonna fix your moon?' reality can be sloppy and i think some art critique misses that

theres balance between expectations of your medium and capturing reality. in writing i have seen critiques like ‘this side character did not have an arc’ and yes an arc is nice but in reality not everyone has one, despite the fact an english teacher said 'good' writing is when all characters change

so it is balance that all artists can consider. do i paint the moon with an off kilter shadow or do i give it a perfect curve? BOTH are valid expressions, but i would like to stand up for allowing the mess and complication of reality in. it can be so powerful to not let medium define expression

[c-e-d-dreamer]

'Tis The Damn Season - Part Three

A/N: Man, don't you hate it when you're two idiots clearly still in love with each other, but unable to properly talk about your feelings? At least someone's getting action in this cabin this weekend 😉 Hope everyone enjoys, especially the beloved bestie @xxvalkyriesxx! I know I'll be enjoying #JailTime 😈 @acotargiftexchange

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Nesta scoops a spoonful of sugar from the glass dish, pouring it into her mug and stirring it into her tea. She carries her mug into the large living room of the cabin. Someone started a fire before they all left, but Nesta still grabs a blanket from the wicker basket. She sets her tea down on the coffee table, curling up in one of the oversized armchairs with her book and the blanket draped over her legs.

She shifts until she’s really comfortable, eagerly opening her book to the last page she’d bookmarked. She’s more than ready to take advantage of the empty cabin for the day, of the peace and quiet up here in the mountains. She’s more than ready for the main character of her book to stop fighting it and give in to the big, hunky duke that wants to give her the world. She’s more than ready for a distraction from the thoughts of the previous night that have been vying for her attention all morning.

She hates to admit it, but last night was some of the best sleep she’s had in a while. Although, maybe it shouldn’t be that surprising. She used to always love staying at Cassian’s apartment or convincing him to stay the night at hers, and not just because he would make her breakfast in the morning. There was a comforting safety wrapped within the circle of his arms, and his big body was always so warm. And even though she often grumbled, she really didn’t mind when he’d sleep almost fully on top of her. It was like her own personal weighted and heated blanket.

And she hates to admit it, but she misses it. Misses him.

Nesta isn’t sure if she imagined it or not, but last night, she swore she could feel Cassian’s arms curled tightly around her waist. That she could feel the warm weight of him pressed along her spine and seeping beneath her skin. That she could feel his nose buried in her hair and his soft breaths fanning across her ear. But was it real or was it the dream of a memory still tied like a golden thread around her heart?

“Hey, Nes.”

Nesta’s head snaps up at the greeting, surprised to find Cassian standing in front of the french doors that lead out to the cabin’s back patio, a stack of firewood cradled in his arms. She can do nothing but watch as he steps out of his snow covered boots, as he pads across the room and toward the large, stone fireplace. He kneels down, taking one of the logs and tossing it onto the fire, the flames crackling and growing in response.

“Aren’t you supposed to be skiing with the others?” Nesta finally asks, sitting up straighter and closing her book.

“You don’t have to do that,” Cassian says, not even looking her way as he sets the remaining logs in the rack beside the fireplace.

“Do what?”

Cassian sighs softly, pushing back to his feet and wiping his hands on his jeans. “It’s just me. You can relax. You don’t have to worry about donning that mask you always wear.”

Nesta has to swallow hard against his words. Leave it to Cassian to still see straight through her, even after all their time apart. It used to terrify her, the way he seemed to see all the way down to her very soul, the way he was intent on peeling back every piece of armor, on squeezing past every defense she’d so carefully laid until he’d wiggled his way right into her heart.

It terrifies her now that he’s still never really left.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Nesta deflects instead.

“I broke my ankle earlier this year.”

Nesta frowns at the explanation, her attention instantly darting down toward Cassian’s ankles, looking for any sign of injury or discomfort. “I didn’t know that…”

“Don’t worry. It’s all healed now. I even finished PT already,” Cassian assures her, moving to settle on the sofa perpendicular to Nesta’s armchair. “But I figured it’s best not to risk anything on the slopes.”

Nesta hums softly in response, but she’s not really sure what else to say. Things are so stilted and awkward between her and Cassian now. His fingerprints used to be tattooed across her skin, the crack of his smile used to bring light to her shittiest and darkest days, his laugh used to be her safety net and the space between his ribs her home, and now they’re… this.

There’s too many emotions tangled between them, a heavy ache that settles deep in Nesta’s bones and a yearning that still pierces through her heart. Too messy, too many unsaid words, and with every second of silence that passes, those words only seem more intent on cloying up her throat and choking her, the tension scraping hard against her skin.

And the two of them are now stuck inside, just the two of them together, for the rest of the day.

Perhaps this is the weekend where Nesta finally decides to give skiing a proper try again.

“So what are you reading?” Cassian breaks the quiet.

“What?”

“The book you’re reading, what’s it about?”

“You want to talk about my book?” Nesta asks, her tone dry.

Cassian chuckles softly, pushing a hand up and through his hair, a nervous tick he still hasn’t quite kicked it seems. “Well, I doubt you want me to ask how you’ve been.”

“Why do we have to talk at all?”

Cassian shrugs at that, settling back against the cushions of the sofa, so Nesta decides to return to her book after all. But it’s easier said than done. She tries to focus on the ink splashed across the pages, tries to focus on the words and the characters and the story. But they all just blur together, that needling voice in the back of her mind continuing to draw her attention toward the man sitting a mere foot away from her, the eyes she can feel watching her.

“Fine,” Nesta says, snapping her book closed again. “How have you been?”

“Now you want to do small talk?”

“We’re stuck here until everyone returns from the slopes, so unless you have any better ideas…”

Cassian hums, as though he’s really thinking about it, before he reaches toward the coffee table in front of him. He pulls open one of the drawers, rooting around until he produces a deck of cards and a handful of plastic spoons stored there. He slides the cards out of the packaging, and Nesta is transfixed watching the way his hands move, the way his fingers flex, as he shuffles them. Somehow, the large span of his hands make the cards look small.

“Well?” Cassian asks, tearing Nesta free from her spiraling thoughts and gesturing to the space across from him.

“You can’t play Spoons with two people.”

“Says who?”

Nesta rolls her eyes, but she stands up, dragging her armchair until it’s across from Cassian, getting comfortable again with her blanket. Cassian’s grin grows, and he shuffles the deck of cards in his hands one last time before divvying up four cards for each of them. Nesta quickly snatches up her hand, taking a moment to arrange her cards in numerical order. Not the best start, a two, a six, a jack, and a queen.

“So how did you break your ankle?” Nesta asks, reaching forward to take the card Cassian slides toward her. An ace of spades. It becomes the start of the discard pile.

Cassian chuckles, deciding to add the next card he draws to his hand and sliding a new card toward Nesta. “How do you think?”

“Something stupid, then.”

“Mor got this new dog, a tiny little chihuahua thing she named Bella. And it hates me, genuinely despises me.” Nesta can’t help but laugh at his words, but Cassian’s grin only grows in response, the hazel of his eyes surprisingly sparking despite his words. “I’m serious. The dog planned the whole thing. It purposefully got under my feet and tripped me.”

“You’re clearly giving that dog too much credit,” Nesta tells him, trying to keep her face neutral even as she picks up another jack, trading the two in her hand for the card.

“Maybe I was always just meant to be a cat person.”

Nesta can’t help but think back to the afternoon date Cassian took her on to the small cat cafe downtown. Can’t help but think about the tuxedo kitten that had climbed onto Cassian’s shoulder and chewed at his hair while he laughed. Can’t help but think about how small that kitten had looked curled up to nap in the cradle of Cassian’s large hands. Can’t help but think about the promise they made to each other, to go back and adopt that kitten once they moved in together.

“Maybe…” Nesta agrees quietly, focusing hard on the cards in her hand.

Cassian clears his throat awkwardly, turning his own attention to his cards, and Nesta wonders if his memories have carried him back to that same afternoon too. Carried him back to the way the rays of the sun spilled through the cafe’s windows, the sweet scent of coffee and cakes, to soft fur beneath fingertips and promises just for them.

“Are you still working at the same firm?” Cassian asks after a moment, trading another card in his hand and sliding it toward her.

“Not anymore. I took an offer from a different firm. Better pay, more interesting work. I’ve really been enjoying it.”

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you.”

The sincerity of his voice is enough to draw Nesta’s attention back to his face, and her breath almost catches in her throat when she finds Cassian’s gaze already pinned on her. With the firelight dancing in his eyes, there’s no mistaking the greens and golds that make up the hazel. No mistaking the honesty, the emotions, swimming in those eyes.

Nesta opens her mouth, but she quickly closes it again, not quite sure what to say. She wants to hate the way her chest starts to tighten, brambled vines twisting tighter and tighter around her heart. But there’s no denying the emotion that wells up her throat, those unsaid words weighing heavy on her tongue and her mind again.

“You have to draw, to keep the game going,” Nesta points out instead.

Cassian laughs softly again, his lips twisting up into that lopsided, cocksure smirk of his, as he raises his hand, a plastic spoon poised between his fingers. For a moment, Nesta can do nothing but blink, her mind not quite catching up to what she’s seeing. She snaps her attention back down to the coffee table, and sure enough, the spoon next to the discard pile and stack of cards is gone.

“What?”

“You didn’t even notice,” Cassian teases, turning around the cards in his other hand to show four eights. “I win.”

Nesta scowls, tossing her own hand of cards on the table. “This is exactly why you can’t play Spoons with two people.”

“Still always a sore loser, Nes?”

“I am not being a sore loser. It’s a simple fact.”

“If you say so…”

“Fine,” Nesta huffs, narrowing her eyes and shoving all the cards back toward Cassian. “Best two out of three, then.”

She waits for Cassian to gather up the cards, to shuffle them again and deal them a fresh round of four cards, but instead, he merely continues to watch her. His smirk twists into a soft smile, his whole expression one that Nesta used to know like the back of her hand, one that Nesta hasn’t seen directed at her in a long time.

“What?” she asks quietly, feeling almost self conscious beneath that soft fondness.

Cassian shakes his head, finally gathering up the cards and beginning to shuffle them. “Nothing… just… that look…”

I’ve named every single one of your looks and poses, you know.

Those were the words he spoke to her once. She never knew exactly how many of her expressions he’d cataloged. She never knew what his names were for each one. She never knew exactly which one was his favorite, though he did claim to have one. Was it the one she was giving him now?

“No cheating this time,” Nesta tells him, reaching forward for the four cards he placed in front of her, desperate to ease that tension that keeps rising and falling between them like waves.

“Not exactly beating the sore loser accusations, sweetheart,” Cassian offers, picking up his own cards and taking a moment to arrange them to his liking. “Besides, do you really think I'd cheat?”

“Well, it wouldn't be the first time you've lied to me.”

Despite her attempt at keeping her tone light and teasing, the silence that follows her remark is palpable. Clearly, she’s hit her mark, that festering wound torn back open. It’s the subject they’ve been tip-toeing around all weekend, the subject that Nesta has tried and failed to cover up for months despite its persistence. Like wine stained red across fabric.

“I deserve that, I suppose,” Cassian finally concedes. “Does that mean we’re finally going to talk about it?”

“I don’t see what there is to talk about.”

“You never let me explain, let me tell you why I never said anything before that night.”

Nesta sniffs, crossing her arms across her chest. “What was there to explain? I know why you did it. Caught dating Feyre’s awful big sister, how embarrassing that must have been for you.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, that you think so lowly of me or that you think so lowly of yourself,” Cassian drawls, his voice bitter and dry.

It’s close. Too close.

“Draw a card, Cassian.”

“No.” Cassian sets his cards down on the table, the gesture filled with as much finality as his voice. “I’m not going to sit here and have awkward small talk and pretend while we play cards.”

Nesta raises a derisive eyebrow. “Who’s the sore loser now?”

“Nice try, Nes. That type of baity deflection might work on your sisters, but I know you too well.” He sighs softly, scrubbing a hand down his face and across the stubble on his jaw. “I didn’t know. I really didn’t know when we first met.”

Nesta sighs as well, placing her own cards down on the table. “But you knew before the dinner that night. It’s why you were acting so weird that day.”

“I know, but it took longer than you think. I didn’t start to realize until the night you told me everything about your past, your family. It was just too much of a coincidence, the stories too close to what I’d heard about Feyre. But I didn’t know for sure until I went to Rhys’ for dinner after that. I pulled Feyre aside and finally asked her about the sisters she sometimes spoke of, asked what their names were.”

“And yet, you still didn’t say anything.”

“It was never the right time.” Nesta scoffs at that, so Cassian continues, “and I was selfish, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I was. I knew you’d be upset once you knew, knew it would change everything for us, so selfishly, I just kept putting it off longer and longer. I thought that I could keep you longer, but I… I just ended up losing you anyways.”

Nesta isn’t sure what she expected Cassian to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. Maybe some part of her expected him to turn it back on her, remind her that if she and her sisters weren’t such a tangled, complicated mess of parental issues and childhood scars that scabbed over but never truly healed, that they wouldn’t have had this problem in the first place. Maybe that cruel, whispering voice in the back of her mind had expected him to finally confirm her worst fears, that it was all a game, a trick, that he was embarrassed by her.

But to admit that he was selfish…

Nesta’s pride had certainly kept her from ever admitting those words.

Damn him and his open book honesty. Damn him and his bleeding heart that he holds so confidently outside his chest. No icy walls to keep it tucked safely away. Instead, it sits beating and bleeding in the palm of his hand, stretched out toward her like he has such blind faith in the world. Such blind faith in her.

“Wow. I’ve finally struck you completely silent. That has to be a first.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“Go on,” Cassian coaxes, his tone almost mocking as he leans forward in his seat. “Tell me I was selfish. Remind me that it’s all my fault. Tell me how your life is so much better now without me.”

“Now who’s thinking so lowly of the other?”

Cassian sighs softly, finally dropping his gaze away from her. He pushes almost aimlessly at his abandoned stack of cards on the table, as though he’s trying to gather his thoughts, trying to find the right words to say. Trying to gather his courage.

“Do you think y–”

A crash sounds from the front entryway of the cabin, cutting off whatever words Cassian was going to say. Nesta snaps her attention in that direction, just in time to watch Eris and Azriel all but stumble into the room, limbs tangled together and Azriel’s hands already pushing open Eris’s Ralph Lauren ski jacket. Both their cheeks are flushed, but Nesta isn’t convinced the coloring is just from the cold and the snow outside.

Cassian clears his throat loudly, and both men freeze, clearly completely oblivious to the other occupants of the room. Azriel is quick to step away from Eris, to put distance between them, but the illusion is long broken, and Nesta doesn’t believe the too casual stance, the cool and aloof mask, for a second.

“Shouldn’t you both be skiing?” Eris asks, raising a single eyebrow.

Nesta scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I don’t ski.”

“I broke my ankle a few months back,” Cassian offers with a shrug. “But how were the slopes?”

“Pretty good, actually. It’s a damn shame the sun sets so early this far north.”

“The other won’t be long behind us,” Azriel cuts in to add, turning and walking toward the kitchen. “I’m sure everyone will be hungry after a day on the slopes.”

Nesta snorts at Azriel all but fleeing the room, knowing damn well he’s not going to be preparing everyone lunch despite his excuse. She shares a pointed look with Eris, but the redhead seems unfazed by the actions of his boyfriend-not-boyfriend. Still, with Azriel leaving, silence settles heavily over the room again, pressing against Nesta’s skin and the reopened wounds until it stings.

She catches movement out of the corner of her eye, turning to watch Cassian push up and to his feet. He seems to hesitate for a moment, his own gaze meeting Nesta’s, hazel eyes burning low in the firelight. His lips part, and Nesta holds her breath, waiting to hear the words clearly weighing heavy on the back of his tongue, but they never come. Instead, Cassian shakes his head, seemingly thinking better of it. Instead, he follows the same path as his brother toward the kitchen, leaving that thread between them untouched, too taut under the weight of what they used to be.

Nesta finishes twisting the strands of her hair into a simple, soft braid, tying it off and letting it drop along her shoulder. She gathers up her small toiletries bag and the towel she’s been given for the weekend, switching off the bathroom light and padding back down the hallway. She’s surprised to find the door to her guest bedroom already closed, distinctly remembering leaving it open before she went to do her nighttime routine, but her confusion quickly morphs into annoyance when the distinct sound of a moan filters through the wood.

“I’ll help with cooking.”

~ * * * ~

“Eris, I’m going to kill you,” Nesta grumbles half to herself.

“Kicked out again?”

Nesta spins on her heel to find Cassian leaning against the doorjamb to his own room. He’s already changed as well, a soft-worn pair of flannel pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips, showing off and drawing attention to the hard cut of his v lines. She’s half tempted to tell him to put on a shirt; although, she’s not sure she really wants to. Not with the way his crossed arms add to the bulge of his arms. Not with the way the shadows cut into every line, deepen every swirling stroke of ink across his skin.

“I’m beginning to think this is all just a ploy by Azriel to get a proper bed for the weekend.”

“Probably. The pull-out is pretty lumpy,” Cassian offers with an easy shrug. “My offer from last night still stands for tonight though. You’re still welcome to crash in my room.”

Nesta knows that she should tell him no. She knows that she should turn and walk away, that she should resign herself to spending the night on one of the uncomfortable sofas. Especially after their conversation from earlier. Their unfinished conversation from earlier. There’s still too much tension, too many words left unsaid, brewing like an oncoming storm between them, threatening to strike them both down like a bolt of lightning.

But maybe there really is too much still between her and Cassian despite all this time. Maybe they’re still a tangled mess of golden thread tied so tightly around their hearts that it never leaves, only bruises and scars. Or maybe Nesta truly is just so exhausted and the idea of a proper bed too tempting. Because she steps around Cassian and inside his guest bedroom.

She hears the soft snick of the door as Cassian closes it, moving to set the things in her arms down where she’ll remember them in the morning. She can hear the slow shuffle as he seems to move about the room, but she can’t quite bring herself to look. Can’t quite bring herself to face him. Instead, she merely makes her way to the bed and slips beneath the blankets, tucking them up to her shoulders.

The bed dips behind her as Cassian settles as well, the warmth he always seems to exude seeping across the space between them beneath the blankets. It’s almost second nature, the way Nesta scoots back closer, chasing that warmth. A soft click and the room is blanketed in darkness as the bedside lamp is turned off. It’s like a safety net, that darkness, and Nesta dares to roll over in the bed.

She supposes she shouldn’t be surprised to find Cassian with his eyes still open and watching her. The moonlight spilling in through the window cuts a bright line across his cheekbone, along his nose. And a strand of curly hair tumbles down along his temple and across his forehead, Nesta curling her fingers into a fist in the blankets to keep from the temptation to brush it aside.

“There were surprisingly no drinking games tonight,” Cassian breaks the quiet, the corner of his lips twisting up in the barest hint of a teasing smile. “Do you think our family is losing their touch?”

“That or this is finally a sign that we’re all getting old.”

“You calling me old, Nes?”

“I do think I can see a few grey hairs.”

Cassian’s laugh is surprisingly soft, but still warm, practically curling around Nesta’s limbs like a second blanket. “We could play a game right here and right now.”

Nesta rolls her eyes, but she presses her lips together to hold back a smile. “I’m pretty sure that is the opposite of the no funny business promise.”

“If you’re scared, sweetheart, just say.”

“Fine. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Nesta doesn’t bother biting back her scoff. “You went through all that just to pick truth?”

“I’m cozy,” Cassian argues, making a big show of burrowing deeper beneath the blankets and offering her a winning grin. “I don’t want to move.”

Nesta rolls her eyes, but she nibbles on her bottom lip and tries to think of a good truth. Tries to think of a question she really wants to ask him, really wants the answer to. A few spring immediately to mind, a warm whisper tugging at her thoughts. Perhaps…

Maybe it’s the safety of the quiet and the dark, the perfect hiding place for whispered truths and honesty. Maybe it’s the safety of the blanket wrapped around them as surely as that thread between their hearts. Maybe it’s the way the teasing between them is so reminiscent of the way they were before, of so many nights just like this, tangled up together in bed.

“If we didn’t break up,” Nesta begins, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. “Where do you think we’d be right now?”

Cassian’s eyebrows dip slightly, and Nesta can tell it’s not a question he was expecting, what he was anticipating her to ask. She wonders briefly if he’ll answer honestly or if he’ll fall back into that mask of easy grins and teasing remarks he so often wears.

“I think… I think we’d still be right here, celebrating Feyre.” Cassian pauses, his lips parting before he closes them again, swallowing down whatever words he was going to say. “But… I think I’d have begged you to agree to marry me by now.”

“Begged?”

“Would you have accepted anything less?” Cassian’s chuckle is soft and almost breathless, the corner of his eyes crinkling. “Truth or dare?”

Nesta doesn’t bother biting back her smirk. “Dare.”

Even in the dark, the way Cassian’s eyes spark is unmistakable, his grin growing wider still. The sight leaves Nesta’s breath catching, her traitorous heart twisting between her ribs. It’s almost involuntary the way she moves closer still across the bed, pulled into that gravity, his warmth, that look on his face. It’s almost involuntary the way her gaze drops to his mouth, to the way his lips pinch as he makes a big show of thinking.

“I dare you to…”

Kiss me.

“Finally forgive me.”

The words are jarring enough that Nesta is sure that she must have misheard him. But when she focuses properly back on Cassian’s face, that smile of his is long gone. Instead, his expression is… guarded. It seems odd, practically unnatural, to see such an expression on Cassian’s face, especially directed toward her. And it stings, niggling like icy fingers around Nesta’s lungs and squeezing, digging its claws straight into her already bruised heart.

She thinks she might hate it.

“Sorry. Gods, I’m so sorry,” Cassian says suddenly, shoving the blankets off his body and clambering up and off the bed. “I don’t know what I was…”

Cassian doesn’t finish the thought, shaking his head and shoving a hand up and through his hair. He won’t quite meet Nesta’s eye, scrambling around the room until he locates a hoodie, quickly tugging it on. His name sits heavy on the tip of Nesta’s tongue, but she can’t seem to bring herself to say it, can do nothing but watch as he moves about the room and then toward the door.

“I’m sorry,” Cassian mutters one last time, and Nesta swears his voice sounds thick, as though he’s holding back tears.

The sound of the door opening and closing again is too loud in the dark of the bedroom. Too final. And it’s more than just the loss of Cassian’s large, warm body in the bed that has cold needling beneath Nesta’s skin, burrowing all the way down to her bones, to her soul. She curls her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and staring at the door, at the space Cassian once filled.

With every moment that passes, the silence presses in harder around her, her heart sinking deeper until the ache between her ribs is palpable. Until she can do nothing but speak the truth to the empty room.

“I already forgave you.”

—

2025 tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed; bolded names mean Tumblr won’t let me tag you 🥲): @moodymelanist @sv0430 @bookstantrash @hiimheresworld @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @glowing-stick-generation @goddess-aelin @melphss @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @wolfnesta @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @that-little-red-head @kale-theteaqueen @superflurry @lady-winter-sunrise @freakingata @susanbanarchy @jsmelodies @unhealthyfanobsession @presskmewleroux @nativeswfl @livinforthetea @dying-of-wanderlust @berkskc @the-new-ribbon @underneath-the-sidras @deadandsane

[masterfuldoodler]

Okay let's talk about Kingdom Hearts and sacrifice.

There's a lot of stories where someone sacrifices themselves, but then gets brought back. And sometimes it feels right, and other times it hits weird. Kingdom Hearts is one of those stories that gets it right for me. But why does it work? The obvious answer is bias, but I think there's some other stuff at play.

1. Steeped into the world building of kh is the thought that death is not that permanent. There's Nobodies and Heartless, and they're dead but not exactly. And they could come back. It's very hard to die all the way in kh

2. The magic system of kh is pretty loose. Somethings have rules. Somethings have multiple methods. Somethings we know can do stuff, but we don't know how it works. So in this landscape pretty much anything could happen.

When Sora is brought back by Kairi in kh1 it feels pretty cheap at first. Oh he can just...come back? The game does explain it but we don't really understand what that means since it's game one and this is the first we're seeing it in action. (Princess of light and the connection of the heart) The idea that you can call someone out of the darkness through the bonds of the heart does come up in other kh games! This isn't a throw away idea to bring Sora back.

Something else is the way it effects the story. Sora dying and coming back is like a second starting point for the series. It doesn't just give a happy ending yay he's not dead! No it snowballs into multiple games. Whole characters are created and the story gains complexity. If Sora hadn't been called back by Kairi, Roxas would probably have been a more normal Nobody and not a person of his own right. There would have been no Castle Oblivion, and what would happen to Namine? Xion probably wouldn't exist.

Also often the sacrifice isn't Necessary. There were other routes that could have been taken, but the characters choose this instead, which makes a statement about them. (The power of Waking could have gotten Kairi's heart out, but Sora doesn't know this and doesn't stop to find another option. Ventus would rather put an end to himself. Axel burning himself up all at once.)

Axel coming back is funny because it feels like a trick played on him. "haha thought you could die your way outta this one, guess what there's a round two."

I'd love to talk about Roxas and Xion's return, but I still haven't seen the end of kh3. So I guess the best I can say is that them coming back shouldn't feel contrived (same as Ventus, Aqua, Terra) because it's been a goal out characters are working towards, same as bringing Sora back in kh2. There's build up to it!

Kingdom Hearts is riddled with sacrifice, some moments bigger than others. It's very fascinating to watch, pretty much every character has had their moment.

[jigamaree-writes]

mouthwashing characters dating headcanons!!

warnings: mentions of alcohol, multiple referenced characters deaths (including suicide)

tags: fluff and angst, confessions, romance, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, canon divergence, long distance relationship, major character death

includes: Daisuke, Anya, Curly

author's note: this is my first time officially writing on tumblr so apologies for any mistakes, can be read as "x reader", accidentally posted this as a wip and it had one like already so sorry to that user i took it down for some time

Daisuke

i believe he would first meet his yet to be partner either at a party on in an arcade

either way he would be absolutely smitten by their looks alone and would start chatting with them and successfully get their number

he started seeing them more, usually going shopping together, playing games, or just hanging out

as time went on he realized that the feeling in his stomach the very first day he saw them wasn't the alcohol from the party nor the nerves from seeing someone so cool – it was much more than that

he had no idea how to approach his little crush with the intention of telling them his feelings since he was already a pretty good friend of theirs and didn't want to loose that friendship or make it awkward if they weren't interested in him

but somehow during one of the hangouts his tongue slipped and he accidentally outed his feelings towards them!

all his worries washed away when they reassured him that they've been feeling the same way since they started spending more time together

he immediately perked up at that and kissed them on the cheek

when he officially gets in a relationship with them he's over the moon and he acts even more positive than usual

Daisuke's love language would be quality time mixed with physical touch

he just loves hugging, kissing or cuddling with his partner, even handholding brings him immerse joy

he's very fond of using pet names for his partner and overuses them a lot

his favourites include: "sweetie", "baby", "beautiful/handsome" or "my everything" as well as some more snarky and playful ones, often based on his partner's appearance or hobbies

god forbid someone asks him about his significant other because he will rant about all the little things he loves about them in perfect detail

he couldn't stop showing off his partner to everyone he knew, he's just so glad to have someone by his side

speaking of – he's extremely clingy, even if his partner hadn't talked to him for two hours, he already misses them

so when his parents basically force him to leave and work for Pony Express you can imagine this poor boy's heartbreak

not being able to see his one and only for such an extended period of time is like a death sentence to him

he offers that his love goes with him, but due to the fact that working on the Tulpar is not a very satisfying and fulfilling job plus the constant harsh environment (not even mentioning the pay) it's understandable they don't want to be stuck in the ocean of emptiness

and even if they did want to go with him, after giving it more thought Daisuke realized that he wound never want to put the most important person in his life at any danger that might be involved in the outer space

while he is extremely down about leaving his other half back at home, he stays hopeful the whole time, keeping a picture of his beloved in his pocket or on the side table next to his bed in the sleeping quarters

his partner (along with the desire to make his parents proud) becomes a sense of motivation for him

even in his last moments, after being injured from crawling though the air vent, all he can think about is how he was never going to make it back and see his love one final time

Anya

when it comes to first meetings i think Anya would either see her future partner one of the times she tried to apply for her medical school or while she was running to clear her mind two blocks away from her own apartment and bumped into them at a corner

if we're going with the second scenario she would apologize tremendously for her carelessness and to her surprise was met with a very positive answer and an invitation to a dinner the next day

few more dates later and she starts developing some serious feelings for the other person and that eventually leads to them becoming a couple

she used to spend most of her time studying so she might not be very experienced in a relationship and needs to warm up to her new role as a girlfriend but she's the most loving and understanding one ever

for a long time she was seriously struggling with getting into medical school, but her significant other encouraged her to go forward and so she never gave up on her dream

by working three times harder than the last time she was awaiting her medical exams with determination and optimism, but unfortunately she failed the tests to qualify for the school yet again...

she was miserable for some time after that, distancing herself from her partner for a few days

to make up for it she and her partner had a movie night, at first she was very apologetic about her behavior but some reassurance from her partner later and her mind was put at ease

i believe her love language would be words of affirmation although she doesn't mind physical touch

she loves to kiss her partner's forehead while holding their face in her hands for sure

Anya's favorite pet names for her partner would be "my dear" and "sweetheart" along with just their name or a sweet nickname she came up with

however if it's her partner using pet names on her? yeah she's absolutely flustered everytime that happens

her favorite aspects of her partner would be the patience they are willing to give her and the support she so desperately needs

when she decided she needed more money to cover for the exams her partner fully supported her with this decision, which eventually lead to her working for the Pony Express

she keeps little notes her partner gave her before she left on the board in her office

she never really shared with anybody that she had a partner back on earth as well as on the Tulpar unless someone directly asked her, she would describe her partner so tenderly that while the majority would find their relationship to be adorable, some people (Jimmy) would mock her for how much she's devoted to her partner

before her ultimate decision of taking the pills she thought about what could've been if she just stayed home and found a different job

she would have never experienced this horrible fate

she couldn't help but muster a smile thinking about her partner, what a pity they never experienced the joy of seeing her finally making her dreams come true

Curly

if he started his relationship while still on Earth he would definitely miss his partner dearly but couldn't help the growing excitement to see them after coming back home

everytime he saw his other half he was happy like it's the last time he's ever going to see them

if Curly came back in the winter season the two would definitely partake in any snow spots together since we know he's a fan of those

if his partner shared his love for the same activities he would be overjoyed, but if they weren't as much into it that's completely fine – he would try to show them all his favourite pastimes hoping his partner would eventually join him but he would never push them to do it

he would acquaint his partner with his family pretty early on in the relationship but not so early it's awkward, he just wants to show off his partner to the closest people in his life

since it's implied he's been working for the Pony Express for quite some time now, it's possible he met his love during one of the hauls, either as a new crew member or someone from a different team

if they were part of his crew the man's attitude towards his partner would stay the same – sure he might be the capitan and is in a position of power but they're still his beloved

sometimes he takes on work that would be usually assigned to his partner to let a little load off their shoulders but he would keep it a secret from them and the other crew members (although he gets accused of favoritism several times)

while he is extremely busy with all the shenanigans going on during the shipping of whatever is in the cargo hold, he always manages to find time for his partner

his love language is definitely act of service

his partner gives Curly a sense of belonging, and even sometimes when he doubts himself as a capitan he knows his partner is there for him

Curly's room is right next to his partner's in the sleeping quarters, although he wishes they wouldn't have to have separate rooms but for some reason the company doesn't acknowledge their relationship because why would they (he still invites his significant other to his room whether it's to cuddle, talk or just to enjoy each other's presence)

he and his partner are basically inseparable

that doesn't change even after the crash takes place, his partner would visit him every day and stay by his side, often taking Anya's task of feeding him painkillers and while it pains them to see him in such a state they know Curly is the one who's in the most pain at the moment

his partner isn't sure if Curly still recognizes them but he always looks around frantically when anyone from the crew escorts them to the sleeping quarters to try and get some rest

following many sleepless nights and witnessing the death of two of the fellow crew members, Curly's partner decided to ultimately end their life, not being able to witness the love of their life suffer any more

they never got to live the life they imagined together and they couldn't even confirm if Curly would notice their lack of presence after they died, however he acted more distressed and was seemingly shrieking when he eventually stopped seeing them

do not copy or translate my works.

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

[cushfuddled]

what are your thoughts on the "Arcane Viktor was meant to be ace" that has been said in an interview? Like yes - word of god feel free to ignore - but they said they tried to write him that way. Do you think they succeeded?

Hiya! Thanks for the ask! :D

I was honestly shocked to hear Linke "always" meant to depict Viktor as asexual. It strikes me as a deeply disingenuous comment, not least of all because I want to believe someone who "always thought of Viktor as asexual" and was driven by a desire to make ace people happy would...I dunno...display a slightly better grasp of what "asexuality" even means.

LINKE: I know there are some people who ask this. There is a love. I don't think it's romantic…I remember many, many years ago also thinking about this when we started developing these characters. To me, I can say something here now that would be good for you and bad for me because it will be a wildfire. To me, Viktor was always asexual, and that was always something we talked about from the very beginning. So, a romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor was just never part of it. There is a love, absolutely, but we also found it a bit... Love and relationships are so complex and take so many different forms. Viktor loves in a different way, and that's okay, no? ...It's something that when we talk to our LGBTQ group within Riot, I remember asking the group many, many years ago, like, "What is something that you never see depicted very well?" And someone said asexuality. They say it's often depicted as, like, emotionless when it's not true at all. It's just that your feelings don't mix with physical. So, to me, that was always part of Viktor. [x]

I didn't feel seen at all by this kind of retroactive ace rep, but I did feel truly, deeply moved by the fandom's response.

Because I know this song and dance. A showrunner or someone with similar "creative authority" describes a character as ace or aro, and the fancops take out their soap boxes and declare,

"All right, everybody! You heard the man! No more sexy fanfic and fan art! This ace/aro character is officially off limits!"

And then aro and ace people like me, who ENJOY smutty fanfic and fan art and want to see our favorite Barbie dolls kiss, are viciously harassed for our hubris. For at least a year I watched my favorite TMA fan artist get dogpiled to hell for daring to draw NSFW art ofJonathan Sims. And yes, this artist was also ace! To fancops, the opinions of aces and aros who like to consume or create smut don't count. We're all "degen" traitors who deserve to be bullied out of fan spaces for the sake of The Good Ones.

So anyway! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Christian Linke came out of the hole in my wall and told me Viktor and Jayce aren't gay.

“Was there ever a ship?” LINKE: “It’s strange that people say that’s the only close relationship that two men could have is to be a couple, you know? There’s really close friendships and like, brotherhoods if you will…like, really being there for each other. Um. [That] is something that was…really important for us to explore. So…it seems like there’s no other version, you know? For some fans, they say like, ‘Hey, there must be romance,’ and we’re like…these relationships can be really layered and really complex, you know? I think there is some kind of…there is a love between them. I just don’t think it’s romantic, you know?” [x]

(If I have to hear one more creator clap back at a hopeful "could they be gay?" with a bizarrely defensive spiel about the transcendent magic of platonic bonds and how men aren't allowed to foster close platonic relationships I'm gonna hemorrhage something, but that rant already lives over here so whatever)

First of all...

:3c

...For someone so committed to propping up the ace and aro community with canon rep, this November 28 2024 version of Christian Linke sure doesn't mention asexuality or aromanticism at all. The genergous ellipses from the excerpt above aren't a creative embellishment on my part. Those pauses are very much apparent on the Twitch stream. Linke appears to really dig for the right words here, yet the terms "asexual" or "aromantic" evade capture. But sure, asexuality was "always" a part of Viktor for Linke.

Maybe Linke didn't want to draw fire from fans with a "Dumbledore is gay" moment, so he left any definitive terminology off the table. In any case, I watched the Jayvik community respond to Linke's Twitch stream like so:

This was, to put it mildly, fucking hysterical. I've never seen a community so decisively "...anyway" a showrunner over queer rep before.

This is horribly unfair for me to assume, given I know next to nothing about Linke and his capacity for petty vengeance. His timing could be totally coincidental, his efforts completely genuine. But the fact that Linke dropped this ace Viktor bomb less than two weeks after his Twitch stream smells like a tantrum to me. In my least charitable vision, I see a man who declared Jayvik platonic by order of Authorial Intent, watched his fandom go, "That's nice grandpa. So about that Hextech sex toy fic—", and was so offended by shippers' casual disregard as to "strike back" with something they couldn't possibly ignore. Thus the "Viktor was ace the whole time" card, when

The word you're looking for is "aromantic," Linke. That's the one to do with romantic attraction.

I know it can be difficult to canonize asexuality and aromanticism. If someone tried to kiss Viktor and Viktor pulled back like, "I don't feel things that way"...would that reaction be enough to make Viktor canonically aro? Perhaps Viktor would need to clarify: "I don't feel things that way." "Which way?" "The...romantic way.” “I don't understand." "You are my partner, Jayce. I love you. I want to be with you. But I will never want to kiss you." I’m tempted to champion that second option, but I can see the argument for less stringent criteria. Ambiguity is...organic, I guess. Too much clarification can read as disingenuous and preachy, like one of those after school specials. Still: I've spent too many years dancing for table scraps to ascribe sanctity to headcanons.

At the end of the day I just don't buy Viktor as ace/aro per Linke and Lee's creative vision. Sky felt like such a classic case of "straight key jangling" to me—i.e. a one-dimensional female character who exists to reinforce a male character's straightness. (My favorite example of this phenomenon = the time Cas Supernatural became mortal ((and thus capable of sexual attraction)), met a woman, slept with her, then killed her within the span of a single episode. Why showrunners seem to believe a female love interest invalidates queer readings, I cannot begin to guess). Even as Viktor pulled his hands away from Sky's—even as Sky told him, “No you won't"—I couldn't help but feel like Linke and Lee had a bullhorn to my ear the whole show: "Oh no, these poor lost ships in the night! How tragic, that Sky was so ready to love Viktor with all his faults and cracks, and Viktor could've found love and purpose outside his work had he only stopped long enough to notice! How tragic, that Viktor only came to understand the nature of Sky's feelings for him after his work had stolen her away! How tragic, that the thing Viktor so desperately craved was right there the whole time, from the moment he launched that toy boat to the night he activated the Hexcore!" It felt like Sky was meant to represent potential, a la the limitless expanse of the heavens. In such a complex cast, Sky stands out like a sore (cardboard) thumb. When Viktor lost Sky to his ambition, she was forever frozen as a "what could have been," reduced to a symbol of roads untraveled. With all those Vibes in the air, I'm like...uh...Linke? Tell me again about how you wanted me to read Viktor as aro this whole time???

I'm sure some ace and aro folks were bolstered by this situation, and lord knows I don't want to yuck on anybody's yums. But for me personally, Linke's comments were like a punch to the throat. It felt like Linke wanted to use me as a police baton to beat back the hordes of evil shippers. What meant the world to me was, once again, the fandom's response. NO ONE TOOK THE BAIT. At least here on Tumblr, all I saw were ace, aro, and allo fans A. clarifying ace and aro terminology, and B. creating smut out of spite.

I cannot stress how fucking INSANE this was to witness as someone who's dealt with a lot of shame re: my aegosexuality. I've never felt so seen and supported as an ace person by a fandom community. Every Jayvik fic with a "this one's for you, Linke"-esque note adds another five years onto my life. I seriously love you all. Please keep being your glorious selves.

[cpvnksabm]

i think sometimes rtc fans (fic writers especially) who are aware they aren't disability experts will try to "play it safe" and avoid depicting anything that could end up being offensive or inaccurate, because they'd rather not handle something at all than risk handling it badly. i understand this approach, and don't get me wrong, it's a good thing to want to avoid offending people - and it's also a good thing to be aware of when you don't know enough about something to write about it.

but it's upsetting when ricky is sidelined or excluded because people don't know how to depict him. and "include ricky but avoid going into detail about his disability" isn't a perfect solution either - for shorter fics it tends to work fine, but in longer fics, it becomes noticeable when something hasn't been mentioned. ricky's disability would realistically affect his life in many ways, such that if you're depicting him realistically for an extended period it's likely it will be relevant at some point.

on top of that, sometimes the "play it safe, don't do anything that could be problematic" approach extends to people removing parts of canon* that they think may be problematic. and i'm in favour of improving/ignoring the shitty parts of canon, but this needs to be done carefully and with a good understanding of what specifically needs improving and why, because sometimes it's a fine line between "removing the shitty parts of canon" and "erasing disability representation". there are some issues where, even if canon was flawed in its depiction of something, erasing/ignoring it is actually worse.

*when i say canon i mean the 2016-2018 script. i feel we've all agreed that the ableist 2022 script changes are non-canon for obvious reasons

one example of this is ocean's canonical ableism, and how often it's just ignored by the fandom. i think sometimes people are unsure how to handle it respectfully, or feel like it shouldn't have been in the musical in the first place. and different disabled people have different opinions on how well it was handled in canon, i have mixed feelings myself, but regardless of if it was handled well or not, i don't think making her some sort of Perfect Disability Ally Who Loves Ricky in fanworks is a good solution. because as a disabled person, i don't see ocean's ableism as something trivial that can be easily removed, and when people do casually remove it, i find it to be dismissive & minimizing of a real problem. it makes me uncomfortable.

which is funny because i'm sure, at least some of the time, people go with this depiction of ocean because they don't want to risk making any disabled people uncomfortable by depicting ableism!

basically what i'm trying to say here is: when you're depicting a disabled character, you have to make a lot of choices about how to depict them. and if you're scared of accidentally handling something badly, you might try to set it up so you don't have to make a choice on how to depict it, because it just isn't relevant - because ocean was never ableist in your headcanon, or because ricky's disability never impacts him in the story you're trying to tell, or because ricky barely appears in your fanworks anyway.

but choosing not to make a choice is still a choice. when you can't decide how to handle ocean's ableism, so you just don't acknowledge it - that's a choice! when you can't decide how ricky's disability would affect him beyond what we see in canon, so you just avoid going into detail about it, that's a choice. and sometimes the choices that you see as "playing it safe" and "not offending anyone" are, in fact, making some readers uncomfortable - disability representation is very rarely something as simple as "go with the safe option that cant possibly offend anyone", and avoiding showing disability is not a good approach.

and to be clear i am absolutely not saying i think everyone should have to go into full detail on how ricky's disability (& ableism) affects him in every fic. that would create its own set of problems. i think it's important for able-bodied people to be aware that some stories about the disabled perspective are not their story to tell.

but there's a lot of middle ground between "fic entirely focused on depicting disabled experiences in detail" and "ricky's disability is barely mentioned, his backstory is edited to remove ableism references, ocean is his best friend who was never ableist"! having some exploration of ricky's disability as background info or side details can really elevate representation - some of my favourite rtc fics ever are ones where, even if ricky's disability is never plot-important, it was always handled with care and there were clearly no points where the author could have forgotten he was disabled.

i don't have an easy solution here that makes this simple. but i do have some important advice:

just because something can be depicted badly doesn't mean it's always inherently wrong to depict it. there's a big difference between, for example, "the rtc writers could have done a better job handling ocean's ableism in the musical" and "ableism should never be shown in fiction, it was wrong for them to show it on-stage and we must never show it in-fic". there is really no need to entirely avoid something just because it could be done badly.

as i said at the start, it is a good idea to be aware of when you don't know enough about something to write about it accurately. but this doesn't mean you can never write about it, it means you can learn! research is super important and super helpful, and a lot of strictly factual stuff (i.e. the effects of neuromuscular disorders) can be found on a quick google search. writing advice specifically can be harder to find, since it's more opinion-based, but i find you can find a lot of general posts on tumblr and other social media

If you've tried doing research but there's something you don't understand, or you want to depict a really specific situation that nobody has made a general post about - you can ask! my asks are open for this exact subject! another knowledgeable person in the fandom, @icepoptroll , also has asks open and has given me permission to @ them

if you ever DO accidentally come across as ableist or just misinformed... it's not the end of the world. you can receive criticism, and you can listen to that criticism. this happens to everyone because nobody is perfect. you can apologise if necessary, you can go back and edit your own work to make it more respectful if you see a need to do so! while cyberbullying & harassment in fandoms does happen sometimes, most people aren't looking to "cancel" you, and most people will be understanding when you make mistakes.

so if you tend to sideline ricky, or write around his disability, because you're not sure how to tackle it and you're afraid of getting it wrong - please reconsider. there are things you can do to better equip yourself! ricky doesn't have to be a main character, nor does disability have to be the main subject of a fic, but it shouldn't be ignored entirely.

go forth and be brave in your depictions! thanks for reading!

[qqueenofhades]

For the history questions, what historical period has given you the most inspiration for your writing/muses?

I feel like it's a cop-out if I say "hmm, all of them," and this will end up just being a long recap of all my various projects over the years, but a) fuck it, this is my blog, I can talk about my own stuff if I want to, and b) there have indeed been Many, both fic and original. I usually pick settings for historical/historical fantasy AUs that I already know and want to write about, so:

The Lightbearers (Once Upon a Time) and Starlight & Strange Magic (Timeless) are both 19th-century Victorian England/Europe/steampunk, one in the 1850s and the other in the 1880s, with lots of magic and misadventure and so forth. You can tell that I was really into steampunk around 10 years ago (it was Formative, okay) and there were plenty of opportunities to do fun things with the historical setting and real-life personalities (the scene of Flynn breaking into Buckingham Palace to spy on Queen Victoria and William Gladstone remains a favorite). There is also my massive The Swan and Crossbones series (OUAT/Black Sails, two fics, 800k words), which is set in the 18th-century Caribbean, Golden Age of Piracy, and pre-Revolutionary America and is a retelling of Treasure Island + family saga + multi-generational/multi-character/multi-source material historical fiction, wherein I both wrote 800k words and did a shitton of extra research in the middle of getting a PhD. Don't ask me why I did this either, but I still re-read them, especially The Rose and Thorn (the second installment in the series) for my own pleasure.

My All Souls Timeless trilogy, following the source material, involved general historian/academia shenanigans and time travel to Elizabethan England, which was lots of fun to research and write about, even if I otherwise tend to think that the Tudors are often overdone. One of my most popular fics and best shorter-form (only 65k words...) historical/period pieces is deo volente (lux aeterna) for The Old Guard, which takes the crusades as its general starting point and thematic thread to explore religion, faith, immortality, power, war, violence, love, queerness, and other such things. Another popular fic of mine that spanned 600 years of history (starting in the 14th century) and explored various periods in detail is my Sandman fic and in the waking world we wait and want, with a particular emphasis on queer history. (You will find that crops up often in my stuff, regardless of the setting.) We also have why draw me to that promised land (Shadow and Bone), set in the 1980s Soviet Union (my boast for the accuracy of this fic, based on my previous studies in Russian/Soviet history, is that someone told me they learned more from this fic than an entire semester of a university class, which is not entirely good because I then had many questions about their professor, but there you have it).

When it comes to original novels, I started off also 10+ years ago with medieval England, with the The Lion and the Rose series and others. I am fond of this one because it was what got me into medieval history in the first place and because even now, it still sells fairly steadily and gives me a couple bucks in royalties every month. My newest book, The Empire of Bones, is based (loosely) on my fic The Key of Solomon and basically has everything I possibly wanted to cram into a fantasy historical setting, from anywhere and any time at all. Thus we have the Christian-era Roman Empire, an Islamic Carthage, the Byzantines, Imperial China, Russian Jews and Ukrainian Cossacks, the Mali Empire, Celtic Britain, so forth and etcetera, etcetera. So as noted, if it looks interesting, I will find a way to throw it and the kitchen sink in somewhere, and I have the issue that whenever I read a book about a new place or period, I go "hmm, I should figure out how to write something gay about this." Alas.

[not-poignant]

10, 14, and 25 for Faber?

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

So, weirdly, I came up with a story idea for him but I like the story idea so much that he's going to get replaced with a new original character (though I suppose they're going to share some similarities!)

Honestly, Faber's such a solid "performer" that he'd be fun to lead any other story. I haven't come up with anything else specific to him, but any kind of situation where I can put that boy in distress is one that generally appeals to me, lmao. I've weirdly thought about crime scenarios with him, like, 'hypercompetent potential victim of a serial killer who comes under Caleb's protection and is really Mad About It except his life is in danger.' That kind of stuff is a lot of fun to think about!

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

Faber wants to be seen as competent but not as competent as he actually is, and generally otherwise, outside of Caleb, he doesn't want to be seen at all. But he's got complicated feelings about it! His feelings on being seen relate to how he devalues himself and also believes he's better off not trying for his goals or hoping for anything better, so it becomes part of a vicious cycle.

That being said, he was raised to be quiet and precise and skilled, and anything that requires him to break out from that makes him desperately uncomfortable. So if people perceive him as quiet, precise and skilled, he's in his comfort zone.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Honestly his potential right now. He's such a strong character in the sense that he can really carry a heavy, complex narrative. Not all of my characters can? Some are more suited to like single narrative arcs that aren't too complex (like say, Janusz and Nate, where I love their story, but it's not like Faber's where there's two million things going on).

Faber's the first character in a while actually, where I've felt this way, probably since Efnisien at the end of Spoils of the Spoiled? So I don't get this feeling for characters often, even my own. Like, it's been Gwyn, Augus, Mosk, Efnisien, Flitmouse and now Faber. And I think Faber is probably up on the same tier level for me personally as Gwyn, Augus and Efnisien in terms of how much I want to write him.

Which...for a new character that wasn't created within the Fae Tales verse or some fanfiction, is really exciting to me!

~

From the Edgy OCs meme!