#I don't even try talking to them anymore it this point
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brawberryz · 2 days ago
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Please don't leave me alone
Batfam Yan! × Eva Pilot! Reader
Note:English is not my first language, sorry if there is any translation error
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You were a normal student
Or well almost nothing was normal in this world, but in your life it was pretty normal
You were a first year student, you weren't very sociable but it's not like you didn't have friends either. You were the middle point of being someone extroverted and introverted
But that's not the main issue, a few days ago you had received a letter from your father, father...
Years ago you hadn't heard from him, well when you were younger you remembered him but since the incident you haven't seen him anymore
Since then you have been living with your teacher, he was a good guy and he was a good father figure for your depressed self
You didn't imagine that after so much time your father would want to talk to you although you didn't complain
You were in front of a telephone booth, you were trying to contact the boy in the photo which your father had sent to look for you
Richard "Dick" Grayson
But your attempts failed, all the telephone lines were cut so it was impossible to have some kind of contact, apparently it was because of the attack of something, you didn't know very well what but the streets were empty so it must be something serious and dangerous
"Ugh, I shouldn't be here..."
You said as you left the phone and picked up your bag, you were still in your school uniform, they hadn't even given you time to change, now you were here in the middle of an abandoned city with no signal
"I guess it won't make it in time, I should go to some shelter"
You said letting out a long sigh, you knew it wasn't a good idea to listen and come to this place, but your desire to be able to see your father after so long won but you were slowly regretting that
You put your bag on your shoulder and began to walk through the abandoned streets trying to find some kind of shelter to protect yourself
But before you could do anything a loud explosion was heard near you made the whole city shake like some kind of earthquake or schism, that explosion could have easily damaged your eardrums and made them bleed
"What's going on..."
You said scared looking up right where like some "airplanes?" Strangers came out of a place
And there you saw it... a giant thing maybe bigger than a 30-story building, it was too scary you had never seen anything like that before, your body was in shock and you weren't able to move
You tried with all your might to make your body react in some way but it was impossible, it was as if your feet were stuck to the ground
Some large missiles passed close to you and you instinctively crouched down protecting your head, whatever that thing was was too dangerous
You saw how those missiles barely did any damage to that creature, what kind of strange monster was that creature, the only thing you could do was watch in a daze as the fight developed
The creature threw something from its hands causing one of the planes to fall and to your bad luck it fell right next to you, you could barely react when the plane fell in front of you, you were lucky not to be crushed
But it seems luck was not on your side today (if it ever was) You were lucky) there was another explosion and the creature staggered towards you causing its foot to step on the plane causing a huge explosion, you fell to the ground and tried to cover yourself with your arms accepting your end
But you didn't feel anything, you heard the sound of a car braking hard in front of you and the door opening, you looked up and saw it
"Come in, sorry for being late"
The boy said giving you a sad smile, you could barely process everything that was happening it was too much for your poor teenage brain
"What are you waiting for? Come in now!"
The boy spoke again, it felt more like an order than a request, you quickly came out of your state of shock and quickly climbed into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt tightly.
"Hold on tight, this is going to be a bit of a dangerous ride."
Before you could respond, Richard accelerated the car as fast as he could before the car was run over by the creature.
He drove as fast as the car would allow him until he reached a more remote place, you felt like you were about to die from the car flipping so much.
After a few minutes, Richard stopped on a small hill in the distance, he let out a sigh of relief and then turned his gaze to you.
"Sorry about that, I know it was too much to process but- wait a minute."
Richard stopped talking in the middle of his sentence as soon as he saw something in the window, he quickly took out a pair of binoculars from a small drawer in the car.
He quickly moved closer to the car window to see more clearly.
"Wait a minute, are they going to use the N-2 mine!?"
Richard said in surprise before grabbing your arm and pulling you against him to use his body as a shield.
"Bend down and hold on to me!"
You barely had time to react when a huge explosion was heard making everything nearby shake, with so many explosions you heard today you swore you were about to go deaf
A strong gust hit the car causing it to fall and spin around on the ground, you felt Richard hug you tighter, he wasn't going to allow you to get hurt in any way and if that meant he had to be some kind of human shield he was going to be
After a few minutes things calmed down and they were able to get out of the car unharmed
"Hey little one, are you okay?"
Richard asked worriedly looking at you on the ground trying to calm your labored breathing
"Yes...yes I'm fine"
You gave him a half smile, so many things had happened in less than 1 hour and your head was only full of doubts and more doubts
You just wanted to go home and have that monotonous life
"Okay, now help push the car"
You just nodded getting up from the ground and shaking off your uniform, you helped him push the car with all your strength
It was difficult the car was too heavy but after a few minutes they were able to do it
"Thanks for the help, (name)"
He gave you a grateful smile, he gave you a small pat on the head
"Don't worry, I should be the one who should thank you, thanks grayson"
You said shyly, in a way you were grateful that he had risked his life to protect you
"Just call me Richard, there's no need to be so formal"
You just nodded and then got into the car with him. It was going to be a long trip, but you felt a little safe with him. It was like having an older brother.
_
"This place is so big!"
You said in amazement walking through the large facilities, you had never been in a place like this
NORV was an amazing place, you couldn't believe that you were going to have something to do with this place
"Too big I would say.."
Richard said as he looked at a map of the place, he hadn't remembered that the place would be so confusing and giant
The two of you were going down an escalator, you were too focused on reading the manual that Richard had given you to pay attention to your surroundings
"I wonder where Barbara is..." he said in a small whisper "I'm sorry, I don't know the place that well"
The boy said embarrassed, you just nodded without paying much attention to what he was saying
You were walking for a few minutes until you reached a hallway
"I think it should be here, follow me"
He said grabbing your arm, you weren't going to tell him out loud but it bothers you a little that you touched you so freely, you felt that he had gained too much confidence in such a short time and that made you uncomfortable, he barely gave you your personal space and treated you as if he had known you all your life
You just made a small sound of acceptance and then continued walking, you got into a small elevator and you were there for a few seconds
Just when the elevator opened a red-haired woman appeared with a serious expression looking at Richard
"Ah!, hello Barbara, how long?"
Richard said greeting her with a smile, you just kept your eyes on the book pretending not to pay attention
The girl just nodded and got into the elevator with you
"I could say the same..."
She said in a monotone as she leaned against the wall of the elevator, Richard let out an awkward laugh as he adjusted his uniform
You just pretended not to feel the awkward atmosphere that the two of them radiated together
"Is this the girl Bruce was talking about?"
Barbara pointed at you, you just shrank further into your book
"Yes, the institute reported to us that she is the third kid chosen"
Mmm, I see, well it's nice to meet you"
He gave you a small smile as he gave your shoulders a small squeeze
"Likewise"
You nodded nervously, you returned your attention to the book at this moment you felt that your only safe place was this manual on the NORV facilities
"You and your father look so alike, it seems that neither of you are able to smile or show your emotions"
Richard let out a small laugh as he said that, Barbara simply nodded at Richard's poorly made joke
They continued to go up in the elevator, they began to talk about something that you didn't really understand nor did you care
They exited the elevator and arrived at a hallway, just as the three of them arrived and entered the door slammed
"I-it's really dark!"
You said confused, it's not that you were afraid of the dark you were just afraid of not seeing your way and tripping over something
But before anyone could answer the light went out Suddenly it turned on
And there it was, it was the biggest robot you had ever seen in your life, you could only see its head but it still looked big, it was buried in a bright pink liquid you wanted to ask what it was but you decided not to say anything
You decided to flip through the book to see if you could find any information about this giant robot
"You won't find any information there"
Barbara said staring at you
"Uh..."
You looked at her confused as you listened to what she was saying
"This is the latest combat weapons system created by humans, an artificial life form called...evangelion or in a few words unit 01"
You just nodded at all the information you received, you barely understood what she was telling you, this was too much to understand for a teenager like you
"Is this what my father does?"
You asked curiously staring at Barbara
"You got closer, congratulations, (name)"
You heard A voice, one you recognized all too well, you looked up and there he was
Watching you from a window above, it seemed as if nothing had changed he still had that cold and disinterested look he always gave you when you were younger
"D-dad..."
You said in shock, so much time had passed that you didn't even know how to start a conversation with him, what should you tell the man who left you for more than 10 years
"Activate the Eva"
Bruce said bluntly as he stared at you
"Activate the Eva!? But unit 01 is still in preliminary phase, did they lose their minds?"
Richard couldn't believe what Bruce was asking, it was too dangerous for you to get on that Eva, you could easily die or get hurt
The mere thought of you being hurt made Richard's stomach turn, he wasn't going to allow another innocent child to get hurt to fulfill Bruce's whims
"We have no choice, Richard"
Barbara said dryly
"But Damian is too hurt to be able to be a pilot and (Name) doesn't even know how to fly one!"
Richard tried to get Barbara or Bruce to see reason but his attempts were only ignored
"Well today he will learn, are you ready (name)?"
Barbara turned her gaze to you, you swallowed hard you felt too scared and confused were you supposed to get into that thing!?
"What...really?"
You said confused
"Yes..."
No There was time, all the pilots they had were too injured to be able to handle any Eva, (name) was the last salvation
The angel was approaching and causing destruction in its path, it was now or never, the fate of the world right now weighed on your shoulders
"But it took Damian more than 6 months to synchronize with the Eva! She barely arrived and if it's too dangerous and she won't stand it, have you thought about that!?"
Richard got defensive again trying to get Barbara to see reason
" (name) just needs to get into the capsule and everything will be fine" Barbara said "But-" Before Richard could speak again Barbara interrupted him "defending humanity from the angels is our highest priority, we need someone to be able to synchronize with the Eva even if the chances are almost zero"
Richard just stayed quiet, he knew she was right but he didn't want to admit it, he hated the way he felt his heart tighten every time he thought about the possibility of you getting hurt or worse yet dead
"Fine, but if something happens to (name), you'll regret it"
Richard spoke in a somber tone looking at Barbara, the woman just looked at him for a few seconds before just nodding
"Okay, (name) get ready you'll get on the Eva"
You just nodded, you didn't know what was about to happen but you didn't like it
_
You had woken up in a hospital bed, your whole body hurt, you felt like you had a bandage on your left eye
You barely had time to react when the door opened abruptly, there was Richard
He had a worried look on his face, before you could say anything he launched himself at you giving you a big hug
"(Name)! Thank god you'are okay I thought you were going to die..."
He said hugging you tighter, you didn't know what he meant by that you could barely remember what had happened but you thought that finally you were going to be able to be calm
But how wrong you were
The days passed faster than you would like, you were accepted to be an Eva pilot
It seems that in your fight with the angel the Eva went into an aggressive mode and controlled itself while you were in a state of shock
During your short time being an Eva pilot you learned to control it better But you still hated handling it
You managed to meet other Eva pilots called Tim and Damian
Tim was very talkative not as much as Richard but he still talked a lot, you made a small friendship with him
With Damian it didn't go so well, he was too quiet it seemed as if he had no emotions, you simply decided to leave him since you thought he didn't like you
Days passed and you met more people like Jason, stehp, Cass and Duke
Some were retired pilots and others who helped repair the Evas like Jason and Stehp
For the first time you felt important as if you really mattered
Too bad that happiness ends little by little
Every day that passed you felt like each one of them became more possessive and weird
Every time you met someone other than them that person disappeared out of nowhere
Every time you came back from a fight with an angel and was too hurt Richard treated you like a fucking baby
And you hated him too much, you were old enough to be able to take care of such superficial wounds
They didn't even let you be with other people other than them, they even fought to see who would sit with you at lunch, in those cases you simply went to your room to lock yourself in and eat
But you didn't even feel safe there, the last time you checked your room to clean it you found a hidden camera among your things, and there was only one person who would be able to do that
Bruce, that son of a bitch you swore that if you saw him again you would kill him
But you knew very well that you would never You were going to be able to do it
You had no one, Bruce was the only family you had left out there you were no one, not even your mother her death was still engraved in your head, you still had nightmares about it
The only thing you could do was ignore all of that and pretend it didn't affect you
You felt like you were tangled in a spider web and every time you moved you only got more tangled
Maybe you should just stop moving and hope that maybe at some point those spider webs would loosen and you could get out
But you knew it wasn't true
You were trapped just like an insect, being the spider's prey and you would stay trapped there until your body is completely rotted
Dying there without being able to be free again
What's the point of living if you're not even able to enjoy life
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If you see any similarity with Evangelion chapter 1, it is literally lol
So far I think this is the longest one shot I wrote
I hope the person who asked me for this enjoys it, I'm really happy with the result
Maybe I'll do other one shots about this Evangelion AU 🔥
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iscdisc · 15 hours ago
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Anyone who's familiar with my content on Insta / TikTok most likely already knows about this theory (But I guess you could consider it an AU of sorts??) that I have with 2012 Donatello post, "The Power Inside Her" (And yes, the only reason why I drew this / am talking about this is because of my previous post about Za-Naron, okay- Lmao) ! But because I haven't brought this to Tumblr, I'm talking about it again- 👍✨
Before I get into it, I want to preface this whole thing by saying that I fully acknowledge that this all could just be writing issues / faults with the writers and their lack of properly explaining anything or giving prior context to certain relationships / dynamics. I just want to get that out of the way immediately, since I understand some people brushing these things off as one of 2012's many notorious writing issues-
BUT.
I wholeheartedly believe that it's entirely possible that the Donatello we follow after the events of, "The Power Inside Her" is not actually the real Donatello at all and the real Donatello that we have been following before this episode legitimately perished. And let me explain why I say this- 👀
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First of all, I want to establish some foundation for this possibility by pointing us in the direction of the episode, "Bat in the Belfry". During this episode, Mikey (Alongside Casey-) end up giving Wingnut and Screwloose temporary sentient life (With this only being temporary given the events of the episode-). Wingnut and Screwloose are previously established in this episode to be comic book characters / fictional characters, they were never real to begin with. Yet despite the fact that they have no prior existence physically or in any capacity of reality, the Aeon's power (Za-Naron's power-) was able to fully give them life and an established sense of self. We see throughout the episode that Wingnut and Screwloose fully believe that they're alive and well, not understanding when Mikey and Casey constantly try to inform them that they are just comic book characters and aren't actually real the way that they perceive themselves to be real. We also see the Aeon crystal / Za-Naron give sentient life to one of the villains from the same comic (Which is why I included a picture of that as well-), and we too can see that this villain acknowledges its existence, since it carries out it's normal activities as if nothing is strange about its situation at all.
I'm laying this as the foundation for this theory, because my main point with bringing this up is that the "fake" (you could say) Donatello would have no reason to question his existence or believe that he is not who he is. You know what I mean?
Another reason why I believe "fake" Donnie wouldn't question his existence is because the Aeon Crystal doesn't exist anymore by the time he comes into the picture "once again", which is another point that I'm going to get into right now.
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The only reason why Wingnut and Screwloose became aware of their predicament / fully accepted the fact that they weren't real is because they were exposed to the crystal and its seemingly overwhelming energy. As you can see in the picture I provided, they became very distorted and deranged after being exposed to this. But with this "fake" Donatello, there's nothing Aeon related for him to be exposed to.
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During the last minutes of, "The Power Inside Her", we see April use what was left of the crystal (Since she had broken it prior as a means of freeing Za-Naron / freeing herself from Za-Naron's control-) to bring Donnie back into existence. But that's exactly why I have this theory?? Not only is bringing somebody back to life an almost impossible feat, even for April (Which I know the show says that Donnie was simply molecularly scattered and not actually GONE gone, but I don't buy that for a second / I feel like they only said that to make the situation a little more "kid friendly". in my opinion, that dude perished, okay. LMAO), but I don't even think that the Aeons abilities are even capable of something like that. Returning life or performing resurrection is such a complicated issue, and I feel like the Aeons themselves would acknowledge that it's not as simple as just "bringing somebody back".
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So because I don't think this is something that falls under the scope of what Aeons are genuinely capable of doing, on top of the fact that we've seen the crystal give sentient life to things that technically did not exist before this episode, I fully believe that the Donnie that we see get "brought back to life" by April is not actually him- Instead, this is a physical manifestation of how April remembers him being or essentially a Donnie that was "created" from her memories of him / experiences with him.
Point number three as to why I think this is not the real Donnie and instead of "fake" Donnie. April's relationship with Donatello drastically changes after this episode (At least, in my opinion-). Going back to when she "brought Donnie back to life", I wouldn't be surprised if she was envisioning all of the more positive interactions that she's had with him in the past and a lot of the attributes that she enjoyed from him, rather than the negative ones (i.e. Him disrespecting her boundaries a lot, him disrespecting her autonomy as a person, him stalking her, him constantly getting in between her and other people /primarily Casey but I digress- /, him feeling entitled to her as a person, him giving her pet names that made her uncomfortable and she clearly expressed that / Which this is kind of a niche example, but during one of the Xbox / PS3 videogame titles for this series, there's a dialogue cutscene where Donnie calls her his, "Chinchilla" for the first time I think?? But April very clearly expressed discomfort with that and asked him not to say that about her. Which it really pisses me off that he does it again in Season 3 when she's UNCONSCIOUS, and this game came out either during Season 1 or when Season 2 was airing- Like it's an old game. 💀 /, etc.), especially given that what caused her to break free from Za-Naron's control was Raph telling April to remember Donnie. During that montage, there were a lot of happier moments with Donatello.
I don't think it would be far-fetched to say that she essentially created her "perfect" or ideal version of him as a person-?? And I feel like this is heavily reflected through their dynamic post this episode.
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April's not off-putted by some of his kind / caring gestures (Like the image example I provided above, such as him putting his hand on her back-).
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During moments of intense grieving and stress, Donatello is giving her space and not hovering around her like he was more prone to doing in the past (In my opinion-).
Instead of it feeling incredibly forced by the writers, April being in close proximity to Donnie feels like a choice she's actively making or okay with. Prior to this, (to me) it felt like the writers would just put April in the same space as Donnie simply because they were pushing this romantic narrative between them. The numerous times that Donnie would have April in his lab during Seasons 1-2 gave off a vibe like he either pressured her to be there or it just felt difficult for her to decline-? Especially since there was a lot going on with her Father during both of these Seasons, and instead of that feeling like a reason she would want to be there on her own, it felt like an excuse to force her to be there- Does that make sense? Not to mention Donnie always being by her side coming across like he was crowding April instead of her actively wanting him there.
Donnie is more actively giving April her space at the same time too / not reacting when Casey is in closer proximity to her than himself. I'm not saying that this technically didn't occur before the aftermath of, "The Power Inside Her", but it just feels different now- I don't know how else to explain that.
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I'm telling you right now, this moment from, "When World's Collide (Part 1)" is the first time I've seen them on screen acting this way. There has never been a moment like this one before, where April is joking around and laughing with Donnie and just being overall silly?? 2012 has never done something like this with these two on screen.
All of these instances lead me to believe that April (unintentionally) created her most ideal version of Donatello as a person. Taking away all the things that she didn't like or (rightfully) felt uncomfortable by, and only leaving the characteristics that she did enjoy about him. Which would obviously result in her having a much healthier / drastically improved dynamic with him moving forward.
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There's also was only one moment that I feel Donnie was "weird" towards April again like he was in the past, but it didn't last long at all and it only happened once during Season 5 ("The Curse of Savanti Romero"-).
Another thing that I feel supports this theory is his relationship with Casey. From Season 3 to 4, it really felt like Donnie and Casey were forming a much better dynamic / their friendship had a steady progression. Sure, Donnie would still get annoyed with Casey from time to time, but it felt obvious that he viewed Casey as more of a friend / ally than a rival / "threat". Casey would also actively go out of his way to be around Donnie physically more, which I feel was a good sign of their friendship moving in a more positive direction. But then we get to "Tokka vs. The World", which takes place almost immediately after the events of, "The Power Inside Her" and it suddenly feels like Donnie's friendship progression with Casey just vanishes-?? Their dynamic feels like they're back in Season 2 again, minus the constant arguing about April (At least, from Donnie's perspective-).
A lot of the moments that we get with them during Season 5 kind of reinforce this for me. Donnie's reaction to Casey suggesting they get their hands on a couple of tanks during, "Scroll of the Demodragon", Donnie and Casey essentially arguing about how to deal with Kavaxas during, "The Forgotten Swordsman", Donnie's response to Casey in regards to his ghostbuster rip off inventions and how Donnie went out of his way to say everyone will get one except Casey during, "End Times"- Like, it really does feel as if their relationship regressed after the events of, "The Power Inside Her"- And while that does upset me, since as you all probably know by now I love those two to death, it does make complete sense in relation to this theory of this Donatello being "fake".
All of the progress and dynamic / friendship development Donnie and Casey went through? April was not privy to that. Like, at all. If my theory holds up and April did (unintentionally) "create" or manifest a version of Donatello from her memories of him using the remaining power of the Aeon crystal, then it would absolutely make sense why Donnie is treating Casey the way that he is during Season 5. I'm not saying that April didn't notice or acknowledge that they had a better relationship before the events of, "The Power Inside Her" happened, but she didn't know where that better relationship came from. So if April doesn't know, then obviously the Donnie that she (unintentionally) "created" wouldn't know either- Therefore, there wouldn't be a reason for him to have a better relationship with Casey / there would be no reason why he wouldn't continue viewing him in a similar way to how he did during Season 2. AKA, when he first met him / when Casey first came into their lives.
There are other parts of this theory that are definitely more speculative on my part, such as Donnie not having any memories of events that April wasn't there for- So for example, if the brothers are reminiscing about the Mousers predicament from Season 1, the "fake" Donnie would be confused and not know what they're talking about because April wasn't aware of that situation / probably only heard it through word of mouth if anything- Clearly nothing like this happened in late Season 4 to early Season 5 to support that kind of thing, but there also isn't any evidence to disprove it either. I just think it would be interesting for that to be one of the biggest tells as far as everyone else having their doubts about whether or not the Donatello they see before them is actually the legitimate one-!
This theory also makes me really sad as far as Casey and Donnie goes, because it really does feel like Donnie had to sacrifice one developing friendship for another. Like sure, his dynamic with Casey is all fucked up. but at least he has a better one with April now- ��� Lmao || There could totally be some holes in this theory, I'm not going to deny that ! But so far, I think it kind of holds up and I just thought I'd share that today- 👍✨ Lmao
(There were so many more screenshot examples that I wanted to give, but I didn't know you can only include 10 pictures in a post- 😭)
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oh-no-its-bird · 3 days ago
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Very rare nsfw Bird au !! Pls do not interact if ur a minor or I'll fucking kill myself, and then no one will get anymore Naruto content because I'll be dead
So, you know that one type of fic that's like "Tobirama sleeps Madara in an attempt to calm him the fuck down / give him something to focus on / tie him to the village so he will be less likely to leave or self destruct" ?
Ok so THAT. but now throw Hikaku in there to help. They are teaming up to try and tie Madara down before he doom spirals
Ok so. Hikaku and Tobirama talk about how they're worried about Madara's looming self implosion / mental state
Tobirama is like "don't worry, I'll take care of this."
And Hikaku is kinda press x to doubt but also kinda "alright, good luck"
Only for a couple days later Madara to seem to calm down / have become dramatically more smug and peaceful.
So, yk, Hikaku is like "woah, Senju-sama what did you do? Whatever it was, keep it up, this is wonderful I haven't seen him so level in months."
And Tobirama is like "Hmm. Yes. Letting him have his way with me certainly did seem to help calm him, didn't it?"
And Hikaku is like record scratch car crash noises "letting him WHAT."
So Tobirama explains that yeah, he let Madara fuck him. A lot. Also he would NOT shut up during it, which Tobirama also just kind of let happen which also seemed to help...? Double time therapy, I guess
And Hikaku is like. Head in his hands. If it works it works...? He guesses...? Oh my god he wish he didn't know this tho
BUT THEN.
Tobirama is gone for a week on a mission, and Madara is looking pretty bad. Like, sharp decline, he is in a bad way. And Hikaku, panicking, is like "oh fuck what would Tobirama do" and then ends up throwing himself at Madara out of desperation
It works !! Surprisingly well !! There were a couple hiccups at first maybe, but Madara and Tobirama were never exclusive or anything (and Madara might have partially agreed out of spite for Tobirama)
Madara calms down, Hikaku is left with his head spinning and very "fuckkkkk ok, too late to back out now. It worked, we are commiting"
Tobirama comes back and is pleased, less work for him. Good job Hikaku, he knew u were a real one
Now, this is purely tactical for Tobirama (at that point) it's a strategic fuck to calm Madara down, with a bonus of usually being good for him.
So he is pleasantly surprised Hikaku backed him up. He would have thought Hikaku might try and find someone else to throw at Madara, the fact he would sacrifice himself only further proves his loyalty to the village in his eyes
Hikaku one of the real ones fr, Tobirama's trust and respect in him is on the rise
Hikaku still has his head in his hands as he digests the fact this is his life now
Meanehile: In Madara's little world, rhe senju bastard AND his hot most loyal man in the world are throwing themselves at him. He is convinced he's winning.
And like, he is, to be fair. But only because of the mental illness
Madara is sitting around creating convoluted soap opera plot lines for the three of them in his head.
Like, he's imagining Hikaku and Tobirama office cat fighting over him, one of them getting jealous over the other, competing for his attention and affection. Two of Konoha's most powerful, well respected, high ranking shinobi... and they are fighting over Madara... he's so back..
Meanwhile Tobirama and Hikaku are telling eachother ab their recent Madara interactions and going "oh good, that should keep him calm for a few days" and nodding at eachother like "we are in this mess together, my brother in arms"
So, Madara ends up noticing the vibes in that corner and then he possibly ends up getting jealous of them spending too much time alone together (they are strategizing on what to do with/to him next) and gets even more pouty and mad even after they fuck, because "I bet this bitch was thinking about Tobirama/Hikaku the whole time >:(
(Meanwhile, Madara was the one thinking about the other the whole time. Mostly in the context of them joining them)
He finally snaps and rejects one of Tobirama's advances while saying something stupid shit like "why don't u just go sleep with HIKAKU, since I know thats where you REALLY wanna be. You think I haven't noticed you sneaking around with him, huh? Huh? Whore."
And Tobirama is like "are we seriously doing this now? Is this seriously what we are doing? Ok."
And Tobirama and Hikaku now have to strategize to come on to Madara TOGETHER or smthn, or at minimum put on some sort of production to feed into his sudden insecurities so they can guide him out of them
Madara meanwhile remains suspiciously fixated on the idea of them sleeping together (without him!!!! How dare they!!!!)
All of that is to say:
Tobirama and Hikaku end up sleeping together for Madara and having to put on a big show of it just to make Madara feel like he still has the power here.
Tobirama is largely indifferent to this turn of events, Hikaku remains "oh my god how is this my fucking life" but also "well. It's for the greater good, I guess. Not like it's a horrible fate for me."
So anyways: Hikaku and Tobirama alliance to try and calm Madara the fuck down via fucking and letting him fuck them. Pass it on.
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corvus-ix · 2 days ago
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Another You
Yandere Phainon x GN! Trailblazer Reader
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Imagine Phainon have two close childhood friend, but he feel so much closer to the other than Cyrene
He doesn't understand why but he just does
Imagine how devetation he felt once he realizes his feelings but it was too late
Everyone and everything he know from Aedes Elysiae including his beloved is now gone
Phainon try not to linger through those memories for it only bring him back to that day
But most of the time he couldn't ignore the ache he feel in his chest
And then
You come, alongside Dan Heng and Caelus that day
He couldn't stop staring, he even try to impress you before Tribbie came up and interrupt them when he realizes what he was doing
Not once did he took his eyes from you, you just look so much like them
But that isn't right, you were suppose to be dead!
He try to start casual talk with you which was easy and it seems that you don't mind answering personal questions but not all questions was answer but he was fine with it
As You answer his question, not only the two of you lookalike but as if Phainon is talking to them at that very moment
Your likes, dislike, your favorite food, preference, it's like you never died to begin with!
And he couldn't help himself, Phainon start to visit and accompany you almost everywhere that rumors start to spread about a Chrysos Heir having a lover
Who could blame those bystanders, the way Phainon approach You is like a man courting his very beloved
Of course these rumors reach Your ears and your try to establish boundaries with Phainon
Phainon was disheartened but he didn't give up, just tome down his actions
And then one day
"I don't know Caelus, his nice and all but I'm starting to feel uncomfortable around him"
"Avoiding him will be kinda hard but he did push the boundaries you set"
"I don't know Dan Heng, NAME kinda have a valid point. Phainon barely leave their side and they way they look at them it's like he's full of...."
The other voice who might belong to Caelus cut off
He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he did and he stay in hope to hear more but he couldn't hear anymore from that cut off
Phainon was afraid, what if you distance yourself from him or worse leave him behind!
His heart won't be able to take it!
Phainon decided that for now, he'll be the ones who make some distance in hope not to scare you away
But one day he'll make sure your never able to leave his side ever again
He'll be damn if he ever lose you all over again
====================================
My original plan:
"I don't know, he remind me of Kevin so much but I know his not him.... Mei killed him long time ago..."
"I understand your anxiety but you shouldn't worry too much about it"
"I'm just afraid if Phainon will ever fall to same path as Kevin fall and I couldn't just watch it happen all over again"
He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he did and he stay
He remind you of someone name Kevin as much as You remind him of Them
You wouldn't mind if Phainon take Kevin place, would you?
At this point Phainon lose much reasoning and believe that your appearance is a gift from the Titans
And the uncanny similarities between the two of you and Him reminding you of Kevin
He'll be damn if he ignore those (non existent) signs and lose you all over again
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Phainon is actually motivating me to write something for Kevin
Edit: forgot to add this but the Kevin Reader mentioned isn't HI3rd but the one in Acheron trailer and Acheron mentioned during her and Welt conversation at Penacony
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shanefuckingscott · 2 days ago
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Building a life for with you. 🦾
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Sevika promises a better life for you, she'd fight in every battle in Zaun, but can she win the battle between herself? 🦾
Warning: Angst with comfort at the end, Sevika being a jerk, Reader addicted to shimmer, horrible writing, barely proofread
🚫Men and Minors DNI🚫
This all started when Silco died. Sevika was rarely at home, even when he was alive, but still, she made it up to you in ways she can. You understood her job, you were there with here since day one. When she was with Vander, fighting on the bridge, and till she met Silco, you were there to support her. Everytime she comes home late with cuts snd bruises, she reminds that she's doing this for you, to have a better future, for your freedom.
Lately, she's been coming home once every week. She probably slept in Silco's office again, and you know she's trying her hardest to keep things running, while still finding a resolve for the other Chem-baron's turf wars. When she came home, you greeted her with her her favourite food for dinner, but she barely looked at it, and just went to bed. You, of course, being concerned for her well being, you follow her, and rub her back. "Is everything all right?" You ask with a hint of worry in your tone. She scoffs "Yeah, never better" You hear the sarcasm in her voice, and you go to her face, and kiss her, "Babe, please, take a break. Just this once. I need you home, I miss you, and every time you get home lately, you barely notice me, you don't talk to me, so please, can you just, talk?" you plead, you were almost in tears, seeing your girlfriend like this, your situation, everything feels like it's falling apart.
"Look, please, cut me some slack. I'm busy everyday dealing with everyone, just please get off my back just this once." That hurt. That hurt more than it should have. Maybe it was because you're sensitive. You try to understand her line of work as best as you can, but even you were only human. "I understand..." And with that, you get off her, and she's already snoring. She doesn't know, but you slept on the couch that day.
You could feel a rift between you and Sevika's relationship getting bigger and bigger by the day. She comes home with a new arm, with someone's blood on her, and she just casually mentions Smeech and her got into a fight, and wanted no more questions. You try your best, your absolute best to keep you too from falling apart. You try to make Sevika's day a little better, cooking for her, giving her space, preparing her lunch that she never eats, she comes home with the food already spoiled, and just leaves it for you to clean. Every night, she doesn't know, but you're not next to her. Or maybe she does. Maybe she just doesn't care. She hasn't said 'I love you' to you in weeks, she hasn't smile, hugged, or even kissed you.
The last straw was when she came home drunk after some fight with a piltie, and her girlfriend. She had bruises everywhere, she even had bitemarks on her. She looked like shit. You rushed to ask her if she was okay, and what happened, but she just pushed you away when you tried to give her a hug, and she just walked passed you. That was your breaking point. With tears in your eyes, you ask "Do you still even love me at all?" You were trying to hold your tears in, and stop them from spilling, much to no avail. So you're just wiping your face, not looking at her. "I'm not in the mood for this." She just says, not caring. And that was it. You lost your Sevika. You even wondered if she even was yours in the first place. Maybe you're just someone that keeps her grounded once in awhile, but as much as you love her, you were wondering if she felt the same anymore. Or at all. Everytime she was in the house, it felt like you were talking to a brick wall. And that’s when it dawned on you, that maybe she doesn't care about you as much as she says she does. You saw her lunch spoiled again, and you cried. That was it.
While she was in the bathroom, you were already fixing your things as quickly as possible. She probably wouldn't care if you were doing it infront of her. You hide your things, and you pretend to read a book in your bed. She just looks at you, and then she proceeds on doing what she's doing, and she lays in bed, facin gaway from you. You could gear her sigh, and you were trying your best not to cry. You were both quiet for a bit, until you finally decide to break the silence, and the tension between you two. With a different tone of voice, you just calmly ask her, "Do you still love me?" she doesn't respond. "Do you still love me, Sevika?" your eyes starting to wet, but you were met with no response again. The tears are now running down your face, but you try your best to cry silently, as you put the book down, you finally lay in bed sniffling, and till you just say, "Goodnight, Sevika. I love you." And that was the last thing heard from that night.
When Sevika woke up, she was just about to make a quick trip to the bathroom, and then head to work. When she notices the lack of your presence. She tries looking for you in the kitchen, in the bedroom again, in the bathroom, the living room, and outside. You weren't there. Where were you? She went back to the kitchen, and saw a note on the refrigerator she failed to see earlier. It wrote,
"My love, I've been with you through everything, I was with you on your worst days, and I was with you on your best days. There's no doubt in my heart how much I loved you. And I still do, but lately, I've been feeling that maybe you don't love me too. I know you always say, 'Everything I do, I do for you' which I appreciated, truly, but lately, I feel like our relationship is only one sided now, and it hurts. I trycto give you th love you want, and now, I just realized that maybe the only way you'll love me too, is when I'm far away from you. I'll miss you very much, every single day. I'll miss the days we were happy together, the days that you were happy with me. I hope someday, you find someone that'll make you as happy, as you made me these last few years.
– Sincerely, yours Y/N"
Sevika didn't know she could feel this hurt. She can't. She knows she's been pushing you away, she knows it's her that didn't value your efforts, she knows it was her that made you feel like you weren't important. She knows how hard you tried to keep you both together. She knows she fucked up. And now, you're gone.
The whole morning, she couldn't think straight while she was working. All she kept thinking was you, where have you been? It was like you had planned to leave, that's what hurt her the most. The note was true, you stuck around, when everything was going bad, and supported her. You were there. And now things are resolved, it was like you were one of her problems that had goe on their own. But you weren't. You're the whole reason she fights every single day, even though she failed to show you. She wants you back, she needs you back.
For the past few weeks, she's been looking for you everywhere, asking around, but she's not hearing from you. All she does is drink, and go home. Every night, before she falls asleep, she silently cries, and misses you. She smells your pillows before she falls asleep, and she hugs them. It was the only thing left of you. It was as if you were never there. Although your smell still lingers. She misses your presence. She misses the homecook meals you make her, she misses when you would greet her from work. Your face, when she comes back. Your smile, just, you as a whole. She misses you.
She feels regret of the times she let you sleep alone, the times she didn't say 'I love you' to you. The times she was tired from work, and she couldn't see what you were making her, but she knows you're right behind her, cleaning her wounds. Kissing her back, and then getting up, to give her space. It gets so hard every day, where she doesn't see you on the couch, reading your favourite book. She doesn't see your face smiling at her everytime you see her. She knows she's not the perfect lover, but she still wondered why you stick around. All of the things she didn't appreciate when you were there, she longs for now. She'd kill to hear your voice, to smell your scent, and to see your smile again.
A month goes by, she had a haircut, because you weren't there to tie her hair up for her, she quit smoking, and she got a new piercing. She's still actively looking for you, though. Everytime there's a rally, she always looks around to find you, but you're never there. The house that used to be a home for her is just a place where she sleeps now. She spends most of her time, drinking, gambling, taking care of the chem-barons, and or looking for you.
Until one day, your friend came up to Sevika. She told her where you're staying, she told her that you got new apartment. But that wasn't the reason she came to her. She said she hasn't heard from you in awhile, and you weren't answering her calls, and opening the door when she knocked. She got worried, and she had a hunch of what was happening, so she immediately went to Sevika. When Sevika heard the news, it was like her stomach dropped. She stopped to process everything she learned about you. But then she snapped out of it. "Take me to her."
When she got to your new apartment, it was much smaller than your old house together. She knocked at your door, to get no answer. She knocked again harder, but you still weren't answering. At this point she's getting more worried than ever, more worried than she's ever been. You leaving was one thing, since she knows she'll find her ways to you. But she was worried you died. She's now panting, her heart was racing. She's calling out your name, while knocking loudly. She went to peak to the window to you room, her heart stopped.
You were right there, with empty vials of shimmer in your hand. Some were scattered on the floor. You were laying there, it was like you were just asleep. "Fuck" she days to herself. She knew that shimmer was bad, and she was also addicted to it once. But, she never expected to see you resorting this. She knew she was the only one you had left, since you had no family, but she didn't know you were suffering this much. It was all so heavy in her heart, as it was on yours. But she couldn't think of her self right now.
She bursts the door open, and pics you up. She listens to your heartbeat. It was faint. She couldn't keep herself from crying any longer, as she carries, and takes you to Silco's medics. "Please, help her, do anything just don't let her die!" She orders, she was worried about you. She typically wasnt the one to cry, but all she could think about was you getting back to her, and it hurts her to think that there was a chance that you might not. She clenched her heart, when the doctors took you away to pump all the drugs out of your body. When they took you away, and she was all alone, she had an outburst, and she didn't leave until they tell her she could see you again.
You were now stabilized, but you were left in a coma, due to you overdosing. Sevika cries, day and night, waiting for the day you wake up. She doesn't drink anymore, she doesn't smokke. She makes sure she's with you at times where she doesn't have work to do. She talks to you in your coma, hoping you can hear her pleading for you to wake up, and apologizing to you for not being a good lover. She tells you about her day. She often talks about Jinx, and Isha, while you're out. What she had for lunch, and she tells you how much she misses your cooking. She falls asleep on a chair and rests her head on your bed.
When you finally woke up, your head felt heavy. You blink for a moment, when u feel weight on your leg thighs. That's when you see her. You heart beats fast, and it can actually be seen and heard on the machine. Sevika woke up worried, when she saw your heartbeat spike up, and her eyes go to your face, and she freezes. You woke up. She goes to hug, and kiss you, she's telling you sorry a million times, but you don't have the energy to hug her back, so you just smile. And suddenly, tears start rolling down your face, and Sevika stops as she hears you sniffle. "B-Babe! I'm so sorry about everything, I shouldn't have done that to you, you have no idea how much I regret everything I did to you, I want to be better, for us, for you, I know I'm not a perfect—" You kiss her.
For the first time in a while, you both feel genuinely happy again. Together. The kiss lasted for a while, and admittedly it was one of the best kisses you had your whole relationship. You both pull back to catch your breaths, but she pulls your face closer to hers, and whispers "I love you." You guys cry together the whole night in the hospital, after the nurses give you a check up. She's right beside you, re-telling the stories she shared you in your coma. You saw her smiling again, and your face is filled with joy. She's happy to see your smile too, and admitting that it was the first thing she misses about you.
Who knew one of you and Sevika's best dates would be in a hospital, but you wouldn't change a thing about it. You wouldn't change a thing about her. You're happy as long as she's hapoy, and she's happy as long as you're happy. The whole night was an emotional roller coaster of laughing and crying together, but ever since that night, you felt tour relationship with Sevika get stronger, and you're now alot closer.
After a few months, you both swore off drinking, smoking, and taking shimmer all together. Except that time she finally became a council. You both share a drink together to toast her achievement. And you're right there by her side, like you said you would. It was one of the many things Sevika loves about you. You both kept your promises to each other. She may not be the perfect girlfriend, or the perfect person, but she knows she's gonna get married to one.
Sevika proposed to you on your anniversary, now that she's given you the thing you thought was impossible, but everythings possible with Sevika. The freedom, the better future, the world she said she'd build for you. But she just now realized, she was building it WITH you.
And you lived happily, ever, after.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Yes, it's all cheezy, I couldn't keep hurting myself, or you for too long. heh.
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erikiara80 · 8 hours ago
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And I include these tags. They sum up what I think about the hypocrisy, homophobia and putrid antisemitism I've seen in the ST fandom.
#noah schnapp#antisemitism#this fandom is fucking wild about how much they hated on him#everyone jumped at the throat of the gay and jewish kid and had fantasies about the entire cast hating him for his opinion on Palestine#WHEN most of the cast hasn't said jack shit about Palestine in the first place#i fear your virtue signalling is going way way too far when you start harassing people over it#online leftism these days is really just people wanting to be bullies but thinking it's okay if the person 'deserves' it#news flash : no one ever deserves bigotry !!!#if you spread homophobic rumors or start sounding like a Nazi because someone doesn't have the perfect criminally-online opinion you want#you are not in the right. EVER#yes even if it's that person. even if they deserve it or if they suck or you hate them#bigotry is something you put a hard line on towards ANYONE. or you're just performing to look good to people#you don't get a free pass to be a bigot because you're marginalised or defending X or whatever it is you say to make yourself look better#AND that behaviour is especially egregious when Noah is obviously trying to be as kind as he can#you can think he's misinformed or disagree with him politically or whatever the fuck you want. it's a free country I can't stop you#but the instant you start harassment campaign or being bigoted on main you are NOT a 'good' person anymore#(I don't like saying someone is or isn't a 'good' person but that's the main talking point for performative activists so I'll use it)#also. it's still antisemitic to replace jewish with zionist when you're insulting someone#zionist and jewish are different concepts#but if you start saying shit like 'I hope that disgusting zionist dies' or some shit#I won't believe there's not a part of you that is thinking 'Jew' instead#I've studied enough history for this to be a hill I will die on#leftists these days have grown way too comfortable being wildly antisemitic just because they're the 'good guys' and the far right isn't#I don't doubt the far right has also gleefully participated in the harassment#but if you start shaking hands and agreeing with nazis : maybe you should start considering that you're not the good person here#friendly reminder from a french person: a lot of people who were 'good' were still more than willing to throw jews to the wolves in the 40s#you are not immune to being bigoted#you are not part of the glorious resistance. You're harassing a twenty YO jewish gay man because it makes you feel better about yourself#<- the you used here isn't talking about the people on this post obviously#this was a rant sorry
sorry guys when ppl refer to noah schnapp as “whatever that is” or “that thing” i fear we’re crossing the antisemitism line
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kitsunexgari · 1 day ago
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Summary: You have to face the fact that once you make a deal with the devil he owns your soul, and he can do whatever he wants with you. Tags: Over stimulation, forced orgasms, restraints, humiliation, Dom/Sub, Blood, biting, dirty talk, semi-dub con/non-con Notes: This is quite a wild almost AU scenario that I came up with for The Salesman. It's definitely not for everyone so read at your own risk.
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"Please just let me go I promise I'll be good!" You beg pathetically. You had been chained up in this room for you weren't sure how long now. Completely naked, exposed, and shivering. You weren't sure what exactly you did now to upset him but given that he was prone to throwing tantrums or just punishing you for his own amusement it may not have been anything significant or at all. He had been appearing at random times to taunt you, tease you, but there was always denial. He knew just how to touch you to build you right up to climax before stopping. Make your cunt as sensitive as possible. 
"Let you go? Let you GOOOO?" He taunts as he steps in front of you. You gasp and whine knowing that you are in for trouble now. You shake your head and look away from him. He chuckles, his hand going right to your cunt, one thumb right on your clit once again. He's been doing this enough that your arousal is painful. More pain than pleasure at this point and yet you don't hate it...no...this is what you've been craving and somehow he always knows this. If you tell him or not. "I'm sure you just hate this, Princess..." He snarls leaning in to lick your cheek sloppily. 
You start to rub against his fingers trying to get more towards his hand, possibly force penetration but he's very good at knowing just how much to give without allowing you release, how to torture you as sweetly as possible. Your cunt is dripping wet, your arms ache. He has you elevated so your toes just barely touch the floor but you are sure that at this point you wouldn't be able to stand on your own two feet anyway. He's weakened you, left you a sobbing mess. Heaven and hell completely combined. You don't even know what you want anymore.
"Do you believe you've suffered enough?" He whispers. You know if you tell him that you have then he'll deny you again, you've been making that mistake for what seems like days. Now you know it's your chance to try to give him what he wants, say what he's waiting for. 
"No...I...I don't...." You whisper after a moment of trying to find your breath as he continues to mercilessly handle your cunt. 
"Ooooh looks like someone's finally learning her lesson...." He taunts. There's another wild laugh, so unhinged and feral. His hand retracts and he moves behind you. You turn your head trying to watch him but he growls viciously indicating that isn't something you should do. 
"Please just-" 
"Just what?" He hisses in your ear, you can feel his teeth scrape over the back of your neck, "Let you cum? Is that what you want?" 
"PLEASE!" You screech, you don't think you can take it anymore, and just as you have that thought you feel his cock shove into you. This, of course, triggers one hell of a powerful orgasm, you scream, cumming hard as your body spasms and contracts around his absolutely perfect cock.
"Tsk...tsk...who said you could do that?" He purrs in your ear. 
"I-I didn't mean to-" 
"SILENCE!" He yells, "Since this is what you want...so badly...maybe I should give you all you can take...or more..." 
"Oh God don't-" 
"Don't? DON'T! Do you really presume to tell me what I can and cannot do? Silly....SILLY little girl..." He laughs again, his hands coming around to grab your tits roughly, giving them a nice firm squeeze. You scream out and he starts to thrust, slow at first, hard enough to swing you a bit with how you are restrained. You squeal. One of his hands moving down to your cunt, to get at your clit again. 
"I'm going to take it all from you, all your pleasure...pain...you're going to wish you never craved this to begin with...." He whispers so softly that you aren't even sure he's said anything at all or you just imagined it. His thrusting increases and once again you find that he's rubbing your clit to enhance your pleasure even further. His cock feels to be amazing inside of you, hitting all the right places, everything you need to force another orgasm almost immediately. You scream. 
"More..." He snarls, "Do it again." 
"S-Stop...." You beg but you don't want him to stop, you know that and he knows that too. Even if you were genuine, you know he wouldn't and you crave that part of the experience to. The thrusting increases so do his fingers. Pain and pleasure stab through you as his cock pounds into you even harder. You've felt this before, you know it won't be the last time. This mere act milks yet another orgasm from your body. Your arms tug down at the restraints, your toes curl and your back arches, as you gasp for air. Stars dancing in your direct line of sight. 
"AGAIN!" He demands then starts to bite at your shoulder, neck, and back, drawing blood and growling like a feral animal as he licks at the wounds. His assault on your body continues. You scream. Your hands clench into fists. Another orgasm rocks your body. "That's right...milk my cock like the little fuck toy you are....AGAIN!" 
"I-I can't..." You sob, but you know you can, he knows you can, and you know this isn't going to stop until he's completely satisfied. 
"You can and you will...do you remember what I do to liars? Huh...Princess?" He warns you. You screamed and shudder your body shakes as you orgasm again. Somehow the thrusting of his hips only increases, his fingers on your clit become far more rough. You jerk and twist, writhing under his touch. The hand left on your tit gives another painful squeeze. You cum again, then once more in rapid succession, gasping for air. You whimper and whine but he's still not stopping. "AGAIN!" 
"I CAN'T I TOLD YOU I-" 
"ONE MORE TIME" He orders, "You know how much I need to fill you with my cum...and you need to work for it." You mewl softly, you really don't think you can again after that. It's all too much, you're too sensitive, tired, and he knows this as well. He knows that he can continue at this brutal pace pushing you to your limit because your body has worn itself out, at least for now. Yet, he's not giving you any time to rest. No, he wants what he wants and he's going to take it. He isn't concerned with the limitations of your body only what he can do and his desires. You will submit to them. 
The pain builds. Becomes agony. You twist, struggle, your feet trying to kick back at him. You connect a few times but it doesn't seem to faze him. He's in a zone and he wants his cock milked. You have no choice. Your hands clench into fists, your nails digging into your palms sharp enough to draw blood. It begins to drip down over your arms and wrists. You scream and beg, this is impossible, surely, how can you cum again? How can you complete this impossible task? This is insane?
Just as you are sure you'd more likely die than actually cum again, it hits you. Your final orgasm. The most intense. It takes all the breath from your lungs, your vision tunnels. Your body shakes and jerks, the oddest combination of pleasure and pain washing over you until your eyes roll back and you succumb to the dark respite of sleep...the very last sensation you experience is his burning hot cum filling you entirely. You couldn't be more satisfied with your Master.
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genderqueerdykes · 3 days ago
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Wow. Talk about having a shit experience. Why is people explicitly keep saying not to tag their aro or ace post as aroace.
Why why why am I not valid anymore? Can I really not be aro and ace anymore? Can I not open the tag and say "ahh aroace me is so related with this post" anymore? What is it??
It feels fucking shitty seeing community that barely get mention in big queer space like this. Gatekeeping their post and experience to the "right" identity only.
If you someone that do this please stop. I just want to see positive post about my aroace identity. Heck anything about Loveless Aplatonic Afamilial barely get talk about and they don't gatekeep their post from aroaces because what's the point?
this is a great ask, i really appreciate you taking the time to stop by & share your experience, anon. this is something i've noticed within the past few years and i've wanted to talk about it, so thank you for giving me a chance to do so
i've seen 2 excuses for this behavior and they're both terrible and only hurt other people and serve as a method to control strangers.
the first way people try to excuse this behavior is by saying "well I'M not aroace, therefore the post isn't for aroaces!!!!! it's ONLY for JUST aromantics or JUST asexuals not both!!!!!" i have gotten yelled at this before as well. like, profusely. over tags. i feel like people should NOT take a stranger's tags personally. even if they tagged it something you don't agree with or don't like... that's kinda not really your business. this particular behavior stems from people who neurotically check their reblogs/interactions, and it's not healthy.
if you find yourself scrutinizing every single interaction and reblog you get on this website, it might be a good idea to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media, because you quite literally cannot control what people do with a post once you post it. you're at the mercy of god at that point. like i cannot stress this enough: You CANNOT control what strangers do with a post once it's published. these are PUBLIC FORUMS. tumblr is not a private club where only the people you like interact with you. it's a public space. you gotta learn to cope with the fact that other people will interact with your posts in ways you don't like. i don't like it when rad fems interact with my posts, but i also can't stop them from doing so unless i already have them blocked, because they also have free will and a tumblr account.
the second excuse for this behavior i have seen is definitely the worse of the two. people will say that "aroaces get TOO much representation!" or things like "everyone ASSUMES you have to be aro if you're ace/ace if you're aro which isn't true and i take very personally which gives me an excuse to bully aroaces!!!!!!!!" like it legit comes from people thinking that somehow, aroaces are "over represented". the behavior stems from the OP feeling literally attacked by aroaces existing and feeling like they're somehow talking over aromantic people who experience sexual attraction, or like they're somehow talking over asexual people who experience romantic attraction.
people seem to have forgotten that aroace people are STILL ARO. THEY'RE STILL ACE. you can't sit here and go "well i'm mad that 'too many' people know about aroace people so i'm going to harrass aroace people like they're the ones making my life harder and not cisheternormative society." also it's disgusting because a lot of asexuals quite literally believe that aromanticism doesn't exist, and that the term came about to "rip off" asexuals. it's the "transandrophobia doesn't exist because it threatens trans women" argument but with aspectrum identities.
it legitimately causes you NO HARM if your post about just asexuality or just aromancitism is tagged as aroace. they are not saying YOU are aroace! they're tagging it that way for themselves, because they are aroace!!!!!!!!!!!! aroace people are aromantic! aroace people are asexual! stop with this weird gatekeeping and acting like posts tagged just aromantic or just asexual are for people who are ONLY aro or ONLY ace. this shit is hurting people. like i cannot get over the fact that aroace people are. aro. and. ace. and somehow people freak the ever loving fuck out about a mean nasty aroace making them feel bad for.... also being aromantic and asexual ?
like your experience matters. you don't deserve to be told that you can't interact with posts about aromanticism or asexuality because you're both of those things and somehow that's threatening aromantics and asexuals who aren't both. you are still aromantic. you are still asexual. you aren't hurting or threatening anyone. you deserve to be seen and heard, and you shouldn't have to specifically stick to JUST the "aroace" tag and nothing else. i DON'T understand this behavior.
honestly a lot of it smacks of arophobia on the behalf of asexuals and acephobia on the behalf of aromantics. it blows. it's not cool or cute or funny it's hurting people.
this attitude sucks. as the anon said, please stop this. it's unnecessary and petty infighting for no reason. aroace people are not a threat to other aromantic and asexual people. stop treating other people like shit for no reason other than you are insecure and angry about it. nobody is saying YOU are aroace if they tag your post about aromanticism or asexuality with "aroace". they're doing it for themselves. knock it off.
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minhosglasses · 2 days ago
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I've got you - B.C
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plot: after an argument with your mother ends in the worst situation for you, you now need to recover in rehabilitation. your new personal trainer chan doesn't only become your motivation to be able to walk again, but also a friend or maybe even lover for life.
pairing: bangchan x gn reader
genre: personal trainer x client, angst, fluff, comfort
warnings: car crash, injury scars, psychological abusive parents
word count: 4.9k
a/n: i got inspired by an old lee know imagine I read years ago on wattpad, if you're that person then let me know bc the inspo is obv to you♡
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“Yeah mom I'm in my car right now” the car door flies open as you try to keep everything in your hands without dropping any of it. 
When finally seated in the car you throw your bag in the passenger seat and start driving before buckling up, there was no time for that. You were already late and your mother's faint but also loud voice on the other side of the phone was not helping this stress. Every time you hear your mother on the other line repeating that you should've left earlier and respect your family more, you could only feel the wish of not reaching the destination grow more and more. 
“Mom, I understand I will be there soon. I'm leaving my parking lot as we speak” you could barely hear what her answer was before you hear more chatter in the background get louder and louder. You knew you'd be the talk of it all once you got there. They'd keep on asking questions about how you don't have a better job yet, no partner that could help you, no partner that YOU can benefit from. For them it's just a good job to get money or a good partner that brings in even more money.
At this point you weren't even listening to your mother anymore. The closer you get to the gathering the more the anxiety grows inside of you. Why today of all days? They could've picked any other day but right now you're in the middle of finding a new job. If that information somehow comes out you'd never see the light of day. 
You keep on driving and at this point your mother is so lost in her own rumbling that she doesn’t realise you stopped listening way past 10 minutes ago. You wanted to hit that mute button so badly or just end the call but when the phone is laying on the passenger seat and you’re on the highway it was impossible to take your eyes off the road. 
“Are you even hearing me right now?!” you hear coming from your phone. 
“Yes mom I’m hearing you perfectly” you finally pull up by a red light and take this chance to take your phone and end the call. You look around and your surroundings seems to be fine and you reach over for the phone. Your mother is still screaming and you suddenly force yourself to interrupt her. “Well mom I’m gonna go now, you know I’m arriving in an hour”
You see the light go green and you panic since you still have your phone in your hand right now. You say goodbye loudly over the phone as your mother still has stuff to say, you just wish she could keep it until you get there or she hopefully forgets until then. “Mom I have to dri-” 
CRASH
You don’t even get to finish your sentence before you feel a force from behind of your car push you forward. Your phone is quickly nowhere out of sight and everything happens in a millisecond. That seatbelt that you so in panic did not put on suddenly felt like it was needed as the force sent you out of the window. Your ears are ringing and your vision blurry as you can’t quite understand what happened. All that you can feel is your adrenaline rushing through you, but it was also the only thing you could feel at all. 
A week later 
Your dry eyes open and a white light hits you in the face immediately making you sigh in frustration. The same white light that has been torturing your eyes for the past week. Your mind still can’t comprehend what has happened and neither can your body. Your right leg is covered in a cast and multiple bruises and so far you can not feel yourself being able to move it. You felt like you knew your fate from here. You were praying to yourself or whoever you felt might hear it that this was not the way it was supposed to go for you. That you’d walk again and that something out there would save you from this grave you felt like you were digging. 
Your phone was laying quiet on the bedside table. The screen was cracked but at least it was still working. But seeing the screen was even worse. Because you could see that your family had not sent a single message about it. The only messages were from that day and how they couldn’t believe you stood them up, how you’re so ungrateful and how you should be ashamed that you didn’t show up. It didn’t matter how may tries it took to tell her that your leg was beat up to the point where you’d probably have to be in crutches forever, she probably felt even more ashamed to have a child who couldn’t even walk properly anymore. Your shaky fingers reached for the camera icon, but you kept stopping in your tracks. Did you really wanna see it? You weren’t feeling anything but something might be there. 
You let your thumb press the icon and the view made you gasp. Across your cheek there was a huge white bandage with small bits of blood in it, possibly from the scar it was hiding underneath. The heaviness in your chest grew even more and the tears in your eyes were burning. You couldn’t cry, not here. Because the tears were not for you, they were for them, because of them. The way you knew they’d see you even worse now, and how they would rather yell at you and call you ungrateful than pay you one visit at the hospital where you’ve been for a week.
“Excuse me Y/N?” your tears were interrupted by a sudden voice, the voice belonging to your nurse. You quickly dried your tears with the back of your hand to meet her gaze, making her give you a reassuring smile. “I know this is difficult for you… Do you need me to leave?” you quickly shook her head, she probably had a reason for entering and you didn’t wanna stop her from doing her job. You feel yourself zone out, you could barely feel anything right now. You just wanted to go back to bed and never wake up again. “I also came to tell you that your doctor has seen some improvement. I understand that it’s difficult for you right now, but with the right training and rehab it’s looking good for you to be able to stand on your own again” it didn’t even make you smile. It was only possible if you pushed through, and right now you didn’t even wanna push yourself to let your feet hit the cold floor. 
There was a sudden knock on the door, making you quickly lay your eyes on a younger man. He was in a grey hoodie and his hair was being covered by a black cap that also covered half of his face. You looked at him worryingly, was this someone you knew? Someone who came to visit you that wasn’t your family? 
“Oh Chan! Come in” the nurse said by your side, making you even more confused. You met her eyes with a gaze that said “help”. “Oh Y/N! This is Chan, he works in the rehabilitation center in the other building across the street. He’s the best of the best and we thought you could need motivation by maybe seeing him for a while. We really believe that you can be on your feet again soon” your mind was having a million questions at the same time. You realised he was still standing in front of your bed and all you could do was give him a wave. 
“I’m sorry to just burst in, I understand you must have a lot to process right now. I just wanted to come and say hi and possibly talk with you about your pain to see what we could work with” his voice was calm but the undertone also had the sadness, like he was sad that you were in this situation to begin with. 
The room went cold as the nurse left you and Chan to talk. You didn’t know where to start. You were barely talking to the nurses at this point. You could see that he had dealt with this before. He did not seem stressed, nervous or awkward. He just sat there until you showed any sign that you were ready. Like he could sit there for days. 
“Uhm…” you slowly started just to get a word out. Your voice felt weird and your throat was dry. “Where do we begin?” your voice got shakier as you spoke, it was difficult to even accept that a personal trainer was sitting in your room. It would have been nicer to see one in a situation that wasn’t in the hospital because of an injury. 
“Why don’t you just start by telling me where it hurts, and how would you rate that one to ten? Your nurses have already gone through some with me, but I wanna hear it from you” 
You nodded, suddenly you went back to quiet again. It has all gone too fast, why were you here? Was it because you wished that you wouldn’t make it there? Was this your own fault? You let out a shaky breath as you realised you had to move on, and started pointing to where it hurt. Every time you point to somewhere you see him taking notes in his book. 
“It’s numb” you say with tears in your eyes. He stops writing immediately and closes his book to look at you. “I can’t barely feel it” you let the tears roll down your cheeks, feeling the scary situation take over you and swallow you whole. 
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be scary I know” Chan started as he laid a hand on your trembling hand. It was like he could feel your fear through it. It was cold and shaking, he had seen many clients be worried for themselves but this really made his heart ache. You both seem to be close in age, he couldn’t imagine what he himself would feel like if he was in your position. “You got this, you’re so strong” his words were calming you down as you could finally breathe normally and see clearly again. 
Your cries went quiet as Chan’s questions went on. It was difficult to describe as you never felt like you could grasp the situation itself. Every time you thought back on the situation you felt that adrenaline rush again. How you just fell out of the car and how you could’ve saved yourself if you just had focused. But nothing could take you back now, it was only a matter of time before you had to look forward and make yourself you again. 
______________
Today was your first meeting with Chan. You had finally left the hospital bed and was currently using crutches or a wheelchair as support. Waiting outside of the rehabilitation gym you looked at yourself in the mirror outside. The scar had healed a bit more with small parts of scab left, but you could see on the more healed parts that this would never go unnoticable. There would be scars from your stitches across your cheek and you knew that no one would be able to see the rest of your face first. You sighed at the sight of yourself, your family would never wanna look at you now, barely you wanted to either. Who cares if the leg healed or not, it’s not the first thing they see. 
“Y/N?” you turned your head to your right, seeing Chan right there. You quickly studied him up and down, realising he was different from when you first saw him. He was now wearing a black oversized t-shirt and no cap, making him show his pretty brown hair which was laid on the side. 
He was very good looking there was no denying that. Which made you lay your hand on your own cheek. You knew it wasn’t weird to him, he often helped people that come out of situations like yours. But the self cautious feelings took over you in the moment, and while leaning on your crutch you tried to make the hood of your sweater cover your cheek. 
You couldn’t tell if he saw it or not, but that couldn’t matter for long enough either because the important part was to make yourself walk again. There weren’t many people in the gym, just a few people older than you with their own trainors. 
Chan walked you over to a more quiet area where it was mostly a floor covered in black foam carpet. 
“Let’s just start easy and foam roll the muscle, then we’ll try to keep your core strength since you can lose it if you have to walk less right now. Does that sound okay?” you could only nod. This whole situation made you nervous, you knew that the slightest fail could push your motivation even further back than it already is. 
Chan takes your hand carefully as he helps you sit down on the floor. He gently places the foam roller under your leg making you wince at the small pain the lift gave you. You start pushing your leg back and forth on the foam roller feeling fine the first few minutes. You felt some weight lift from your shoulders as you did a few more minutes. Maybe you were worried for nothing? 
The time goes by pretty slowly but you feel better than you thought you would. Maybe this could actually be something. Or that was until the dreaded question left Chan’s lips,
“Do you wanna try walking with support from these bars?” 
He was standing by two pairs of metal bars, and just seeing them made you feel uneasy. But was it worth giving up now? It wouldn’t hurt to try right? In return you nodded at him, making him run back to you to help you up. You had an arm over his shoulder and he tried lifting you from the floor a bit so that you wouldn’t have to limp over there. 
Chan carefully sets you down between the bars, letting you get a good grip on them before he finally lets go of your body. You feel your whole weight land evenly on both of your legs but as soon as it starts feeling great you feel your body fall to the side. 
Your leg can’t support it enough. 
Before your body can hit the floor you feel a pair of arms back around you. Chan was quick to catch you and through his embrace of you he could feel your panicked breath. 
“Hey… hey it’s okay just breathe. I’ve got you. I’m not letting you fall I promise” he said, patting your head as well. “I know that was scary, I should’ve held onto you a bit more over the floor. I didn’t mean to just let go I’m sorry” 
Tears pricked in your eyes once again. This felt hopeless once again. How was this ever going to be fixed? How can someone fix a broken part like this? Babies could walk better than you. 
“This is so useless…” you muttered. It hurt Chan’s heart that the first time since the hospital where you speak to him is you talking down on yourself. He kept patting your head and tried to not make himself lose his cool as he heard your small sobs in his arms. 
“Don’t say that we have many sessions ahead of us to improve. This is only the first time” he carried you down onto the carpet again, making sure your leg wasn’t touching the floor at all. Your cries had gone quiet but your face was really red. 
As Chan set you down he kept seeing you pull that hood in front of your face. He sat down in front of you trying to make you meet his eyes, but once you did you faced the other way. He knew exactly why, but it was not something he was going to pressure you about. He knew injuries in parts such as the face took a toll on people, and it seemed even tougher on you. 
“Please don’t look at me…” you put your head in your hands. “This scar is huge, it’s disgusting. It makes me look so…” 
“Sad?” Chan finished your sentence with. You tried looking back up without showing most of your face, and of course your eyes met his. They never left you. “You know what I think?” he started, making you shake your head. “I think it makes you look strong. It tells people that something happened to you, yet you’re still here standing. And to me that is an extremely admiring person to me” he continued with a small smile, only making you smile bigger in return. His heart fluttered at that smile, he knew he wanted to make this wonderful perso achieve their goals even more now. They were gonna reach the top and he would be by their side. 
_____________
Some weeks turned into a month of seeing Chan. You couldn’t help but feel safe around him as he tried to motivate you to do even better every day. You knew it was his job, but something about just letting you lead it as well made you trust him even more. There was no family that was expecting you to do things their way, or your mother telling you to just get yourself together. He was there, but you were taking your time. And for the first time that was okay. 
“Okay so now you walk over to me” he said gesturing with his hands to slowly start walking. This was always the part of the session that you dreaded. Many falls had happened but no bruises added as Chan always caught you in time.
You keep your arms steady on the bars and try to lightly let go with each step. You felt the knee pushing against your will, but the muscles had to be trained again. The closer you got to Chan the more your smile started growing. With every session you felt like you were getting somewhere and this was the closest you’d ever gotten to walk without bars. With just a few meters left until you could take Chan’s hands for support you feel the strength in your leg giving out, making you fall forward this time. Your heart starts pounding faster the moment you feel your leg give out but you never meet the floor. 
Chan was almost laying underneath you as he had leaned down to prevent you from falling. He could see that the position got awkward for you so he slowly starts sitting down while helping you down onto the floor. But on the way down your leg still hasn’t gotten its full strength back and you end up falling forward onto Chan. Now having him lay under you. 
At first your face becomes red, this was not supposed to happen. But as your eyes meet his deep brown ones, something tells both of you that this okay. Making you both start laughing together. 
“I’m so sorry, are you okay? My leg totally gave out” you were still laughing with a slight hint of worry in your voice as you literally had just dropped your full weight onto him. 
“Nono I’m totally fine, I’m happy I caught you in time-” 
“What exactly is going on?” your laughs were interrupted by a very familiar voice belonging to a woman. A special woman being your mother herself. Looking her into the eyes you quickly scooch yourself off of Chan and he keeps his hands close to you incase something starts hurting. He’s just about to support your leg until your mother yells, “Do not touch my child!” Chan doesn’t seem to listen, since he in a way is doing his job during your session. 
“Mom? Why are you here?” you ask her, slightly embarrassed that she is scolding Chan right now for doing his job. “I thought you didn’t care about my rehabilitation” you didn’t see it as Chan stood behind you by now but his face fell and he realised he had never seen you with family or even heard you talk about them. 
“Why wouldn’t I care? I'm your mother!” she says harshly, studying you up and down. You were only in a pair of sweats and a hoodie since baggy clothes made it easier for you to move your leg, especially with a cast on. “But I see you’re doing other things than working on your walking or how to cover up that ugly scar” the scar was healed by now, but the stitches had now left the big scar more visible. Which with Chan you hadn’t really thought about anymore, you no longer felt the need to cover your face around him. 
Chan didn’t know what to say. He was watching you taking harsh comments from your own mother and he didn’t know when it was time for him to say something. Technically the situation you were in could be seen as wrong as you are his client. But at the same time he promised he’d never let you fall and he was holding onto that promise. 
He could see how your hands were shaking against the sides of your body. He slowly walked up behind you while your mother was talking to hold your hand. Your hand was shaking in his, but that didn’t matter. The comfort was exactly what you needed since your mother could not hold back to scold you even in your rehab hours. 
“Have you tried makeup? How is that scar gonna be covered and gone when I bring you home again? They will wonder how you can’t take care of yourself and I will be blamed for that” your mother went on, you really wondered how she had the energy to do this. 
“I’m sorry Ms L/N but I think it’s time you stop” you hear Chan say behind you making your breath hitch. 
“Excuse me how dare-” 
“You’re in my gym during my work hours when I’m here trying to help your child how to walk normally again. And if you had been here or checked their medical records that I fill in after every session you’d see that they are doing much better than when they were admitted to me.” you squeezed his hand tightly, not being able to speak up in front of your mother right now you felt your heart beating faster. And you knew it wasn’t because of the stress of your mother right now. “So either you leave right now, or I’m gonna have to call security because I have to keep helping them now” 
“And the scar?” she asks. 
“Ms L/N I’m not a doctor, I’m just a personal trainer. And even if I were, I probably wouldn’t be able to do more than they already have. You should be happy your oen kid is still standing here, that scar is showing how she fought for her life. They are the strongest person I’ve ever met as a trainer here and you should be proud of them because I sure am” he said confidently. “Now please leave” and as you watch your mother turn her back towards the both of you you feel Chan’s thumb caress the upper part of your hand. 
You didn’t know what to do at that moment. For the first time in forever someone had been on your side. Chan was just about to open his mouth to speak but before he could you turned around and hugged him. He was caught off guard by the action but as soon as he registered what’s happening his hands found their way to your hips. 
You stood there together for what felt like a solid minute. It felt special to finally have someone see you. And you didn’t care if that person wasn’t in your family, he was your motivation and you never wanted to let go of him. When you decide to let go all you can do is smile at him, which he happily returns to you. Your smile was his happiness, because it meant that even in your darkest days right now there was a smile underneath it somewhere. 
A few minutes later you’re sitting on the floor together, your session ended about 15 minutes ago. You were telling him about your injury that day, how no one came to the hospital and how he is the only one who you’ve been with since then. He sat there with your hands in his lap and every time you shed a tear he made sure to catch them for you. Sometimes thinking back on it you start panic crying and having hiccups, and every time you have them Chan makes sure to see you even more. Telling you it’s okay, to start again whenever you want, and if you want to stop talking then he doesn’t need to know more of it. 
“Hey look at me” Chan’s hand lay carefully on your cheek drying away your tears. “You’re amazing, you know that right?” you start laughing at his comment which only makes him giggle as well. “I’m serious! I’ve seen you go through it this whole month and you’re so strong for even doing this in the first place. Back at the hospital I saw how scared you were, and now I know you were lonely as well. But I am here. I’m sitting here with you now and you’ve grown into a much stronger version of yourself. And even if you fall, then I’ve got you. I’m there to catch you every time” 
_______________________
You open the doors from the rehabilitation building and step outside, taking in the good sunny weather together with the warm sunny breeze. The weather was good but today had also been your last session together with Chan. You couldn’t help but feel sad about it. There were days that discouraged you, yes, but he was always there to pick you up. And now you could walk again, which you back then never thought would be possible. 
“So, you’re leaving already?” you heard Chan ask behind you. 
Turning around you see him in that same grey hoodie he had during your first meeting at the hospital. Something about you two together felt so special to you, and you for sure wouldn’t forget it. You were already sad to part ways with him so being remembered about your days together made you a bit sentimental. 
“I guess, we’re not working together anymore. Who are you supposed to have fun with now?” you said, making him smile brightly.
“No one of course” he was laughing a lot with his big smile which just made your heart flutter even more. He really was the best at making you feel like a better version of yourself. “Hey, by the way” he started nervously fiddling with the hem of his hoodie. You gave him a small nod to show that you’re listening and after a quiet minute he went on. “Now that we’re not working together, do you think I could take you out?” 
You couldn’t believe your ears. Take you out? You looked at him in shock not realising he just asked what he asked. 
“Me…? Yeah absolutely” the relief you felt in your body hit you, you actually get to see him a bit more. 
“Maybe we could start now? There’s a beach down the road here. Just to hang out?”  you eagerly nodded and without a thought you were both heading for the beach. 
The seagulls were making loud noises and the sun was high in the sky. It was a bit windy which caused the salty water to sometimes hit your face. But this feeling was incredible. After months of rehab you had never felt so free and alive in yourself again. And with Chan by your side you felt like you were in paradise. 
With your shoes in one hand and Chan’s hand in the other you both walked along the shore with your feet half deep in the water. Feeling the sun hit your face felt refreshing. You never thought you’d end up walking along the shore with Chan, or walking here at all. But you pushed through and for once you felt proud of yourself for pushing through. 
Suddenly Chan stopped in his tracks and looked out towards the ocean. He starts walking deeper into the water, gesturing with his hands that you should follow him. With both of you in the water you both start realising it wasn’t the best choice since the winds are getting stronger, and before you both knew it you both fall backwards into the water. But of course someone caught you in time. Looking over at Chan he made sure to have you fall onto him first. In that moment it felt like all of these months leading up to this was made for the both you, and before you know it Chan closed the distance between the both of you. 
You felt fireworks going off inside of your stomach and trying to stay calm to not ruin it. Putting your body weight onto him he ends up with his whole back in the water and wet sand. But to him nothing mattered at all in this moment but you and him together. After pulling away he made sure to still hold you close, one hand on your cheek and the other keeping you with him. 
“I told you I’ve got you, I’ll catch you everytime” 
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moondeer1616 · 1 day ago
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Always - An Abstragedy Fanfiction
I was gonna draw this into a comic and maybe i will someday but for now i rewrote it as a fanfic so it doesn't go to waste
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Gangle lays on her bed, curled up with a pillow. She’s teary-eyed but not sobbing, just lying there in melancholy. 
A few moments later Zooble knocks on her door. Even after cheering Gangle up from the Spudsy’s adventure they still wanted to make sure she was doing alright and had someone to talk to about any lingering feelings. 
Gangle wipes her tears as she hears a knock on her door. “W-who is it?” 
“It’s me. I just wanted to make sure you're doin’ alright. Can I come in?”
Gangle sniffles, “Yes…”.  She was thankful to hear Zooble’s voice and felt comfort knowing they cared enough to check up on her.
Zooble gently opens the door and closes it behind them. They notice Gangle in the corner of her room on the bed and walks up to her.
They recalled Gangle’s drained face the last time they saw her at Spudsy’s. Zooble couldn't help but feel bad for her, especially after overhearing Jax and Ragatha’s words to her. But given that she had already volunteered to make sure Ragatha made it home alright after accidentally getting “high”, and the fact that they didn't wanna make her feel like she had to be coddled at all times, they just left it at that. But Zooble knows that everyone needs someone to talk to, particularly in this hell they now call home.
They sit on the side of her bed. “How are you holding up? What’s on your mind?” 
Gangle pauses for a bit, putting together the biggest thoughts in her head into coherent words, fighting back her emotions while doing so. 
“...Ever since the last adventure, I've just felt so empty. I can't stop thinking about what Jax and Ragatha said. …a-and my life before the circus…”
“I had dreams of being a successful artist... Of creating my own webcomic… To leave my mark on the world…” Gangle begins to well up. “But I had to give them up and work in some stupid dead-end job instead. Stuck being a burden to everyone around me.”
“…Then I end up here and it's the exact same thing. Only now I really have no choice but to endure the pain. I'm stuck here forever. I'll never achieve my dreams, I'll never be happy, and nobody will ever truly like me…”
She couldn’t take it anymore and began to sob profusely, gripping her pillow tightly as her mind overflowed with pain and misery. Zooble looked on with worry and distress, feeling a sinking feeling in their heart knowing just how crushed Gangle truly felt. 
Zooble closed their eyes and allowed Gangle to let it all out, almost tearing up themselves. After a while, once Gangle’s sobs begin to quiet down a bit, Zooble opens their eyes and shares their sympathies. 
“ ..Well…I like you Gangle, and I never thought of you as a burden. …The circus wouldn't be the same without you here.” 
“..what Ragatha and Jax said...I'm sure they didn't mean it-” Zooble interjects themselves for a moment. “Not sure about Jax to be honest- ” and continues, “But I know Ragatha didn't mean it.”
“Everyone here is suffering in their own way and it shows in their actions. We’re all just people trying to get on with our lives…”.  Zooble inches a little closer to Gangle and rests a gentle hand on her shoulder to console her. “I’m sure they would take it back if they knew how much it affects you and your psyche.”
Gangle sniffles once more and looks up at Zooble from her pillow, Comforted by their touch but unsure of their words. “I-I don't know… maybe I just really am that a-annoying…” 
Zooble rubs her shoulder; with a well-meaning but slightly stern voice they say, “No, you’re not.”, in order to get their point across. Gangle’s tears begin to stop flowing. She buries her face back into the pillow, stewing over Zoobles' kind words.
Zooble looks down and carries on. “...About your dreams to be an artist, I think it’s a wonderful idea. Art is a reflection of the soul, a precious medium of storytelling and entertainment. I even dabbled in it myself a little.”
“Life gets in the way, sure, but if it's your passion and your goal in life, you should pursue it. Jobs are just a way to make money after all. Once you have enough money and experience you can use it to fuel your real dream.” 
Zooble looks up and gestures upwards with their hands as Gangle listens on. 
“I think life is all about chasing the things that make you happy. If you stay around the things that make you miserable, you'll waste your potential.” 
“Everyone is capable of pursuing their dreams, especially you Gangle. If no one else is there for you, always know that at the very least, I'll always be here for you. Always.”
Gangle finally looks up from her pillow, her eyes filling up with tears once again, but this time they were tears of happiness. She sits up on the bed and hugs Zooble from behind intently, much to Zoobles surprise and relief. “I…I don't know what to say… T-Thank you so much Zooble….” 
They hug Gangle back strongly and close their eyes once more. Just barely feeling the waterworks flow in their eyes as well. “You don't have to say anything, it’s alright.” 
Zooble turns around and makes eye contact with Gangle, tenderly wiping the tears off her mask. “Just promise me that whatever happens, you'll never give up. Never give up on life, on your dreams, and those who love you the most.”
Gangle hugs Zooble tighter and rests her head over Zoobles shoulder, cracking a smile. 
“I promise.” 
Zooble stayed with Gangle for the rest of the night, letting them lay next to her in bed. They spent hours talking about art and their old lives. Contemplating the meaning of it all and their existence in the circus. Though they knew their future was uncertain and terrifying, they took comfort in knowing that through it all, they would be together.
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333fawns · 1 day ago
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yap sesh abt mha
I know some people like angst, but it kind of annoys me when I see stuff like "Bakugou has hit rock bottom and lost his confidence because Deku rejected him. He's no.15 because Deku isn't by his side, Deku let Bakugou go and they don't talk anymore" etc.
The epilogue literally said the reason he is no.15 is because of his attitude. I know people say "Then why was Endeavour #2"- the whole point is that hero society has changed.
Plus, Izuku and Katsuki are still friends! The epilogue said that it was Katsuki's idea to pick up Izuku and Kirishima, plus that he's been invited to guest in Deku's class multiple times! Katsuki calls him Deku, which implies that the nickname has changed meaning to them (and ofc Deku still calls him Kacchan). At the class dinner, they sit next to each other, and Katsuki sees Deku off.
Plus, like any epilogue, the future is up for interpretation. Just because Deku said he wanted to focus on teaching for now, doesn't mean he can't make a joint agency with Dynamight later (I mean, the whole manga kind of implied that, so I'm choosing to believe this wasn't thrown away last minute). And, I think Deku rejecting him and Bakugou easily accepting the fact shows their growth. It's always Deku immediately accepting whatever Bakugou wants, but this time he was trying to put himself first?
I feel like what Katsuki was thinking at the end is the only angsty thing regarding their relationship. I interpreted it as Katsuki thinking he was special to Izuku (and he definitely was) but he no longer is as much as before? But even this interpretation feels like a reach.
plus the fact that KATSUKI was the one that spearheaded the suit funding in chapter 430 should already imply enough about their relationship. They are friends! One little moment won't erase their development throughout the whole manga (their whole lives).
I think about this so much but after the whole 'their feelings become one' scene there's no way they will just let each other go lmao. These are literally platonic soulmates guys I love them sm...
IDK if this went anywhere I was just brain-dumping because I'm bored lol
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cutiehulk · 2 years ago
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the-casbah-way · 7 months ago
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i’m assuming jamie was written out for real-world logistical reasons but i don’t think he could or should have come back anyway. when the attack dog goes rabid and gnaws through his own fucking leash there's nothing much anyone can do but stand there and watch. you can train a dog to bite for you but once they've got enough of a taste for blood they're going to stop giving a shit about who they've got between their teeth so long as there's something to tear into. maybe malcolm never had jamie on a leash in the first place. maybe jamie didn't bite because malcolm asked him to. maybe he just liked the taste of blood. malcolm hired a loyal dog and got what he paid for because at the end of the day jamie stayed so loyal that it became the death of him. loyal to the party. not malcolm
#does this make sense ???? grabs you and shakes you DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#it's like. is jamie on a leash really ??? because the closer you look the less it seems that way#he doesn't back down when malcolm tries to step in and de-escalate. he doesn't listen when malcolm asks him to stop#e.g. infamous beloved life-changing julius nicholson EAT THE FUCKING CHEESE scene.#the second it gets physically violent malcolm tries to step in and jamie just fucking bolts out the door after the fucker#not to turn such a deeply unserious scene serious but it is literally like an actual dog attack#like when a dog goes rabid. the owner can stand there and try and talk sense into it but it won't work#even in that one deleted scene from s+l where malcolm's telling jamie to behave and stop fucking everything up#and it DOES seem to work a wee bit. it feels more like jamie's just trying to get malc off his back rather than actually listening#he's only backing down because what he'd been trying clearly wasn't working anymore. not because malcolm asked#and it's like it's more of a betrayal from jamie's point of view right ??#malcolm's the one who ditched the party and backed whoever he needed to in order to maintain his position#but to malcolm it's like. if he's safe then jamie is too. he'll always look out for the both of them#but HE needs to be secure in order for him to do that. jamie's supposed to bite who malcolm asks him to. not just fucking anyone#so they both feel the knife in their back but jamie was trying to do what's right. malcolm was trying to save them both#(this is just my interpretation / opinion. i don't know shit. and i'm not articulate enough to explain it)#ttoi#the thick of it#malcolm tucker#jamie macdonald
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ghostoffuturespast · 1 month ago
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Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...
#i'm two seconds away from nuking everything in my queue and drafts out of spite#but i don't feel good about that bc there's innocent collateral#this is tumblr‚ the place you're supposed to fucking share the stuff that your friend's and other people are making#and i get it‚ it's not possible to like and reblog everything here‚ i understand that and i'm not expecting that#it just sucks constantly feeling like no one gives a shit about the stuff you're proud of and put effort into‚ y'know?#there's an entire subsection of this fandom that basically ignores any vper that isn't running modded on pc#which is like half the fucking fandom and i definitely pissed some of those people off just for choosing who i associate with#i've been writing in this fandom for three years now and i still don't feel like i have any fucking writing friends#or a good place to get technical support#the writing associates i do have either don't read anything i write or when they do won't comment for some inexplicable reason#(if you're an author on ao3 you know‚ first hand‚ damn well how much comments mean to authors‚ so what's the deal?)#(if you actually don't like it‚ it's fine‚ don't even touch the kudos button‚ no one has to know you were there)#i'm traumatized from my previous discord experiences and am very reluctant to let people into my circle without vetting them first#even tumblr communities is a struggle for me because it still feels a like a popularity/social influence contest#and i know i'm fucking slow#sue me for having a life outside of the internet and wanting to be mindful and thoughtfully engaged with other people's artwork#i talk to people in the tags#i've been leaving comments on every fic i read now#i'm not expecting people to bend over backwards for me#but fostering community and friendships requires mutual exchange#and it's shitty feeling like you're generosity is constantly being fucking wasted#i'm trying to keep it fun around here but a lot aren't helping with that and this isn't a job for one person#sorry not sorry for the rant but i've been feeling very salty about this as of late#i know the holidays can be stressful and the fandom in general has been slowly shrinking which has probably exacerbated these issues#a lot of folks have moved on#but these issues have always been here and they aren't magically going to go away unless people work on them#i'm not expecting anything i make to break the bank at this point but when your friends won't even put your crappy art on the fridge anymor#like why are we here?#i also don't understand the people who are following me but never interact with anything i make???#rambling into the void
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ayara-resara · 1 month ago
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#incoherent whining warning!#man the fanbase on this site really is almost dead#an album announcement and the only person who bothered to post something is one half-retired fan#i think i will update jin songs list after all just for a sense of completion alone and probably will rank them too#(no point in 'kagepro's future' list since i gave up believing)#is there even a point in coping by using old habit (cultivated from pathetic “i want to return 2013” feelings) if it barely helps anymore#idk i'd be glad if you will ask me some random questions#about fandom favourite music or manga#whatever#i don't want to leave until 8/15 again without attempting to use this blog for something at least somewhat productive#like trying to restore my faith in value of communication with foreigners#and convincing myself that not selling everything kgpr-related and deleting this blog ~3 years ago was worth it#tbh i don't think i've ever talked with strangers about such “irrelevant” things online#no wonder initially generic fandom blog has accidentally turned into devoted notifier about all news and official materials#it's funny how on the one hand i regret dedicating so much time to it#but on the other hand i also regret not digging into it deeper#something useful(?) like having a neatly organized list of links to all the good covers tegakis mmd and such would be nice probably#but i have close to 0 motivation in current year#although it's kinda sad looking at ~10y.o. videos knowing most of them will soon be completely forgotten#or that deleted content is forever lost#not only fanworks but many translations of official stuff are lost too#because i wasn't obsessed enough for saving literally everything in my early years#i hate half-assing yet now i feel that's all i was doing
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bandsandwristbands · 3 months ago
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Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
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