#I don't even think I covered everything
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eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him
#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds#but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve#when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was#but ok listen#its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him#episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun#episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind#and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people#episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing#all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror#like obviously we know why but amy didnt#this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry#and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate#you would make a good dalek ect ect ect#anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go#i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great#doctor who#eleven#amy#eleventh doctor#matt smith#dr who#dw#i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him#eleven was careening completely out of control#how long til doctor means warrior indeed?#mine
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We lived.
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#FELT THAT GOOD GOOD VINDICATION HOARDING SCROLLS THE ENTIRE TIME FOR ONE (1) TO FINALLY COME IN HANDY HAHAHAHAHAHFHGD#This fight was absolutely bananas - I was so close to restarting it when everything looked bleak but I didn't and I'm so glad#because it made for a very dramatic story lol#Rambling incoming:#I split the party really bad bc I wasn't super clear on the AOE lightning attack so when the second one rolled around Gale was the only-#-one able to take cover in the building...but I don't think it even worked??#Lae'zel was down long before then but Wyll and Croissant were in death saves#Used all of Gale's movement AND misty step to get to Croissant but he still couldn't get close enough & had to throw a potion#I think I used a potion of speed then so Croissant could cast globe of invuln right away#(and it took 10min of looking through my inventory to even see I had something to do bc otherwise we would've died right there don't @ me)#But then we were STILL too far away from Ansur for 60' spells so I had to keep running them out of the globe - using a spell - and then-#-mISTY STEPPING BACK INTO IT BC WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MOVEMENT SPEED#it was rough but we made it#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#ansur quest#croissant adventures#tav#ansur#gale#gale dekarios#breadweave#gale x tav#YEAH WE'RE PUTTING IT IN THAT TAG#comics
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uuuumm for the request thing maybe pastel gaster? maybe with the evil goatparents or evil alphys, haha. or maybe even evil temmie lol.
Day 29 - He's studying you with a smile...
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Fellplates#Gaster#Fellplates!Gaster is weird :) I like that about him#Man it's been a heck-while since I've draw him!! He's still heckin' cute - I will always be biased towards wings haha#Didn't have any hair to shade this time so had to give them a little extra attention hehe ♪#The whole shading everything - I've just been really into backlighting lately haha#The halo is a great excuse ♫#I also like how in searching for his refs they were paired to the note of ''Don't think about it for too long it all comes crumbling down''#But now I'm thinking about it!! Oh no!! Lol#Like for example I know there are Mercyplates iterations where the Skelebros never get the plates#But the intention was still there at some point (maybe? It's been a while lol)#Basically my point is - I think Gaster's two hand hole-punches would garner the attention of Someone#Since they were brought up how about Alphys or the Goatparents' - and he gets some accessories to cover up with ♪#Anyway that's all just errant-thought fun to think about Gaster getting hurt lol - even this Gaster?#:3c Maybe#I trust him about as far as I can throw him as much as I thoroughly enjoy him hehe ♪#It was tempting to do something with Alphys and the others as well - the image of him picking up Fell!Temmie and resting her on his lap lol#But I've never drawn any of them and I couldn't find any agreed-upon references so I opted for He Alone#It would be fun to see him interacting with others tho :)#Hardly topical but I think my favourite iteration of AU Alphys is SwapFell?? She's very cool in Swap but hnnrh the armour is so cool#Anyway lol ♪
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Valkyr Prime No Forma Queen Steel Path Circuit Armor Strip Deluxe Build AKA Can We Get Much Higher
There's room for improvement (like adding forma and maxxing out the other arcane), but I don't feel like it right now.
Here's the Valkyr Prime mods & arcanes setup. Use Terrify (Nekros helminth) over ability 3 for armor strip ability. Use these archon shards to get the 100% armor strip too and good energy economy. Feel free to ask about any of these mod or build choices, this build is from like 2 years ago that one of my partners helped me set up and still going strong. Delusion helmet and Gersemi skin for appearance.
Prime Talons mod setup. Blast damage is the current meta as of December 2024 so you can see the original before Damage whatever number update point 0 we're at now compared to the original build.
Equip Naramon, it's extremely important for power scaling and end-game level damage.
Fully ranked up Power Spike is the only focus school stuff you need, but having the waybounds unbound is always good for operator/drifter survival, combat, and movement.
Manage your energy economy by getting parazon finisher kills on eximus units if you start running low, just edge the health bars until you see the prompt and your energy will shoot up to almost max if not max. More than half the time arcane energize should kick in and give you a boost on top of the archon shard energy boost (not sure if the effects of the shards and energize multiply/stack or not as I'm not a build math gal but it feels like it does).
Here you go @issilya and anyone else wanting a no forma Valkyr Prime that scales well into higher levels.
#oh and obviously put a potato on her too but that should be common sense... hopefully#I think i covered everything; literally equip anything in steel path circuit even if you get bad weapons; all you need is hysteria & talons#this is a build where Valkyr herself is the weapon itself and you can just get good at bullet jump and spin melee if there's air enemies#a few minutes in you should be at 12x combo multiplier and you should be able to upkeep it at around 11 or 12 as long as spawns r good#I'm aware of how specific a build this is but one of my friends also uses it and improved upon it so like its pretty reliable#as long as you avoid the nullies you'll be okay and the newest updates don't have any nullifiers so its extra good lol#also the can we get much higher meme was more popular when this build was made so like that's why its called that#and the fact that you can reach HIGHER end content by just being in hysteria 24/7 and upkeeping your talons and combo multiplier#big investment if you don't have these potentially but super worth it; at least 3 of us use this build frequently; good for netracells too#you can use the arcanes and mods for other builds on other frames too so useful resource#steel path circuit entrati labs 1999 this thing can do whatever you need done well... except the secret bosses bcuz magnetic dmg#but hey you can probably build her up for that or tweak it to adapt to the magnetic damage but there are better frames for those#I like shards :) they give more build flexibility same with helminth abilities; Valkyr's 3 feels just eh to me I don't utilize it at all#I used that one image just to show off my drifter fashion a little bit too yes UwU#mod rose#not a confession#warframe#valkyr prime#valkyr#warframe builds
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Desperately trying to be hysterical all night again in advance of my doctor's appt in the morning because honestly I'm barely holding onto sanity as it is lmao
The amount of pre-appt research I do never stops turning up horrifying new pieces of information like this one:
Like my guy I can barely manage to stomach the ½ teaspoon of electrolytes I put in my water every day and you want me to eat SIX GODDAMN TIMES THAT MUCH??????
I would rather fling myself into a dying star I'm so fucking serious
#i have been frantically tracking my BP over the past few days and it goes tachcardic around 5min into standing up every time#that's not even include the at-risk measurements taken before that threshhold that aren't good they just aren't TACHYCARDIC#and then on top of it I'm basically just yo-yoing back and forth between full blown hypotension and tachycardia with rare moments of#quote unquote normal BP here and there#homestly it explains why i always shitty like who wouldn't#anyway I've got a 12 item list for my new pcp in the morning and I'm honestly fucking terrified because I don't know how I'll cope if they#blow me off yet again after everything I've done to protect myself#i literally can't keep living like this there's a really good chance i just throw myself off a bridge to be done with it and I'd rather not#anyway i think i've made a really good case with clinical treatment guidelines for 3-5 major medical interventions#and I'm so fucking desperate to get at least those covered#i need a new tilt table test i need rx fludrocortisone and IV saline/nutrition or prescription electrolytes and multi-vitamin#i need compression garment scripts and i need long-term PT and if I'm very lucky I will also get to need assessment of my stenosis/csf#i don't dare hope for a disability referral
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It's been a year since I redrew that one Snorkmimi render...
So yeah I did it again ofc I would, why oh why wouldn't I? Tee hee silly meee
Attaching the 2023 redraw and og cause- uh- I donno, because yes, why not!!!
#This also means updated banner HECK YEAH 🔥🔥🔥#These redraws of mine are so different style-wise it's funny lmao#shoutout to Snorkmaiden one of my fav characters ever she's so perfect in every way my little baby#oh and update : since last year I still have NOT tasted “Snorkmaiden's dreamy chocolate” moomin coffee maybe one day I will or I'll do the#smart thing of making choco coffee myself without buying the maybe overpriced thing that just happens to have Snorkmay on it (I don't even#like sweet coffee 😭) buuut... you know... I could always just get it once and keep the package as a treasure! Cause I'm a hoarder. It might#or might not be a problem but I don't have time to think about that and work on it I have 100 possible uses for this old straw what if I#reeeaaallly need an old straw one day and I DON'T have it because I threw it away? Yeah! END OF THE WORLD!!!#Tbh hate to admit it but Snufkin's hazelnut coffee sounds the most inviting from all of the moomin flavoured choices to me I LOVE hazelnuts#I don't even know what licorice tastes like and I am NOT eating anything that is advertised with Stinky on the cover (jk Stinky's great)#I'm already sick of everything salted caramel flavoured it's just sugar n' salt with a different ribbon and blueberry... I'll pass. And like#I said before - I'm not a fan of sweet coffee. Sorry Snorkmaiden :[#okay enough of it no one reads allat time for real tags#snorkmaiden#snorkfröken#niiskuneiti#moomin#moomins#moomin books#Snork mimimimimimi Snork mimimimimimi
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Beam's parents taking everything but the cat from Jim is direct commentary on why gay marriage needs to be legal everywhere. It's not just a piece of paper. It's legal protection in the event of a tragedy.
But let it also be a lesson to never let another person have EVERYTHING in their name, especially if it was both yours, married or not. You gotta have your own stuff y'all. There's no reason Jim should have been left with NOTHING after years, marriage or not. Unless he just let Beam put only his name down and that's not a good move ever.
#moonlight chicken#I love Jim but that wasn't smart#I understand when you're ~in love~ you don't think but like#Jim came from nothing after running away from home#and unless Beam just scooped him off the streets at like 19 he had to have his own shit#so I'm supposed to believe he was cool joining all his stuff in Beam's name only#no I'm sorry that doesn't work for me#if your person is like NO IT'S FINE#get a new person that one isn't it okay#you HAVE to cover your ass on everything even love#regular clyde
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@deathnotetober 2024 #25 - Ghost
"Mello and L have a conversation in the afterlife."
Rated Gen Words: 1808
#death note#death note fanfic#my post#my work#my writing#L Lawliet#Mello#Mihael Keehl#deathnotetober#deathnotetober 2024#deathnotetober2024#don't mind me saying I'd make a fic cover for everything I write from now on#and then immediately not#It's not for lack of trying!#I just literally couldn't even THINK of anything for this one#it's written to be and supposed to be abstract#and I had no idea how to depict that visually#so um...#...I didn't bother...
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End of the Year Asks: 14 and 18!
14. Favorite book you read this year?
I was gifted Sea of Strangers and it was one of the few books I finished reading so I'll pick that one!
My favourite was this:
It's over, she said. It was many years later when the quiet realization dawned on her. It's over, her heart whispered.
lot's of yearning and breakup stuff, I loved it
18. A memorable meal this year?
ohhhhhhhhhhhh had to think a long time for this...but I'll settle with: a burger lunch set by my nurse. Long story short, I didn't bring enough money for lunch, and so I stayed back in the ward to study. The nurse saw and asked why, I told her I just didn't felt like eating but she went ahead and got me food anyways....I cried afterwards LMAO restored my faith in some healthcare practitioners...(especially since THAT particular week in the new department was EXTRA gruelling and I was just having a bad fucking time overall....but that nurse really boosts my mood for the next few days)
#honestly I can't say favorite book cause I don't read actual physical books a lot LMAO#but I also picked up Everything Is F*cked (which is the 2nd book of The Subtle Ar of Not Giving A F*ck) and honestly#the first one is better#self help book are like a hit or miss man#poetry books tho >>>>>>>>>>>#tell me YOUR fav book of the year instead#people who buy food for you like...is this what it's like to be touched by an angle cuz MAN#>>>#maybe im just a glutton LMAO but in a time where bread is fucking RM6 and RM100 can't even cover a week of expenses...#a lunch is almost like a diamond ring at this point#and its sad thinking how this will happen one day a this rate#anyhoo#ask game
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#incoherent whining warning!#man the fanbase on this site really is almost dead#an album announcement and the only person who bothered to post something is one half-retired fan#i think i will update jin songs list after all just for a sense of completion alone and probably will rank them too#(no point in 'kagepro's future' list since i gave up believing)#is there even a point in coping by using old habit (cultivated from pathetic “i want to return 2013” feelings) if it barely helps anymore#idk i'd be glad if you will ask me some random questions#about fandom favourite music or manga#whatever#i don't want to leave until 8/15 again without attempting to use this blog for something at least somewhat productive#like trying to restore my faith in value of communication with foreigners#and convincing myself that not selling everything kgpr-related and deleting this blog ~3 years ago was worth it#tbh i don't think i've ever talked with strangers about such “irrelevant” things online#no wonder initially generic fandom blog has accidentally turned into devoted notifier about all news and official materials#it's funny how on the one hand i regret dedicating so much time to it#but on the other hand i also regret not digging into it deeper#something useful(?) like having a neatly organized list of links to all the good covers tegakis mmd and such would be nice probably#but i have close to 0 motivation in current year#although it's kinda sad looking at ~10y.o. videos knowing most of them will soon be completely forgotten#or that deleted content is forever lost#not only fanworks but many translations of official stuff are lost too#because i wasn't obsessed enough for saving literally everything in my early years#i hate half-assing yet now i feel that's all i was doing
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.
#sa mention#proship#fandom discourse#fiction is the closest i can feel to normal cos my severe ptsd irl makes me violent if strangers so much as brush up against me#we all handle it differently and yes i write utterly fucked up shit to desensitize myself & somehow managed to stabilized through the years#despite me still having my snappy “scary” moments if people touch me without permission and i punched a dude for standing too close to my#back. he was literally smelling me and i lost my shit and now im banned from that walgreens but meh#now im unloading in the tags but if you're an anti sincerely gfy cos y'all literally attack sa victims on here like its your day job#y'all also don't know the first thing about psychology cos guess who's a psychologist here??? yes this unhinged bitch that covers up like a#gothic church mommy and cusses like a trucker is an actual professional in the field. i studied thinking studying psychology would make me#cope better... it somewhat did help but i should have just gone to a therapist rather than bottling in a going to a freaking university#yes i troll and say fucked up shit on here. this is a social media for my fandom shit so i aint gonna act like the doc i was ages ago and#fiction actually can help some people (especially those like me who are still having violent ptsd eps affecting them) little by little#retake their lives back#there's other forms of therapy but not everything works for everyone and its ridiculous to put all victims under the same umbrella#and its condescending and ignorant af to expect all sa victims to be your perfect little victims of convenience and treat us like crap cos#not all of us fit your toxic narrative of attacking freaking fake people in a nonexistent fictional world.#i have friends that are sa victims that can't handle it in fiction but they know thats my mechanism. since im a now retired professional#i have done everything i can to help them cos yes there's multiple ways to help victims cope with this. even regression exercises help#but that's another thing#and it involves multiple sessions. i no longer practice but can teach people some techniques to regulate their emotions in high stress#situations cos the aftermath of sa is brutal regardless of how you cope with it#you'll need a support group to catch you when you can't handle it sometimes. you're not alone or broken. pls know this
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Apparently Zionists are harrassing Sudanese people who're risking death to post updates from their own genocide because they can't tell the Sudanese flag 🇸🇩 apart from the Palestinian one. 🇵🇸
Mfers 1) can't even identify what they hate so much, 2) can't leave any Black people alone if their lives depended on it.
#''harrassment'' doesn't really cover it#i've never seen this level of blood-curdling dehumanizing outright genocidal hate from so many people before#they're swarming on twitter. it used to be pretty bad even here but now I think it's palestinians dealing with the worst of it#the lower the number of bigots on a site the more exclusively they go after their targets#leading to their harrassment being invisibilized to the unaffected majority who gaslights them about it on top of everything else#i remember the level of tankie harrassment of ukrainians last year. not that it stopped#but it's gotten worse now if anything because so many of them have jumped on palestine bc it validates their narrative#maybe it's why eastern european zionists are so much worse#or at least more visible#i don't think it's normal for so many genocides to be going on at the same time? unsure#palestine has thrown all the others into sharp relief but palestine alone has us so helpless#that it's making us too drained to give as much attention to the others#free palestine#free sudan#gaza genocide#palestinian genocide#sudanese genocide#online harassment#online hate#zionazis
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Thinking about the structure of the Old Religion.
From what we know there's the Nine which refers to the High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess - powerful sorcerers who obtained immortality (unless killed by some form of magic), and performed important rituals of the Old Religion.
It is unknown if there was a High Priest equivalent, but Gaius in S1Ep13 does tell Merlin that "the High Priests have the power to mirror life and death". This suggests that perhaps there were High Priests of the Triple Goddess, and that they also had a Nine.
There's the Bendrui, women who failed to become part of the Nine. Just like those who eventually became High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess, they were chosen at birth for the priesthood - taken from their families and raised as initiates of the Old Religion. Despite their failure, Bendrui are practiced in potent magic, and appear to have above average gifts.
There's the Bloodguard, warrior priests who swore to protect the High Priestesses. They, like the High Priestesses, were the only people to ever set eyes upon the staff carved from the Rowan tree that grows at the very heart of the Isle of the Blessed.
It could be suggested that like the Bendrui, the Bloodguard could have been failed High Priests, but there is no evidence (other than the existence of the Bendrui, and the mention of High Priests) to truly suggest this.
It is also unknown if the Bloodguard served the Triple Goddess. It is possible that the priests served various different gods of the Old Religion, but due to their relation to the Nine specifically, it is likely these warrior priests served the Triple Goddess.
There's the Catha, which contains priests. (Alator is referred to being "of the Catha, warrior and priest", he also says "I'm a Catha priest").
It is unknown if they served the Triple Goddess, or a different god of the Old Religion (and we know they are priests of the Old Religion because Morgana says, "He's a Catha...priest of the Old Religion.").
They have their own language, however, suggesting that they are a unique culture, and perhaps even an ethnic group. (This is further supported by Alator saying Catha are trained from birth to master all physical pain, it is also said that they guard their ancient knowledge - which leans towards them being a people rather than just initiates of the Old Religion)
There's the Disir, the highest court of the Old Religion, made up of three women chosen at birth to be trained as seers and soothsayers. They are the mouthpiece of the Triple Goddess, and interpret her word. As Gaius says, "When they sat in judgement, their word was final". They pass on the runemark, which is both judgement and fate - it contains a person's guilt, as well as the path the gods have chosen for them.
There's the Druids, a peaceful people who worship the Old Religion and often possess magic. It's a part of their beliefs to help people in need of care, and therefore, those who weren't born a Druid can find a home amongst them (Morgana is one such example).
Moreover, the Druids look for children with the gift of telepathy to serve as apprentices (perhaps to keep them safe? perhaps to encourage their magic in childhood?). The Druids also have a tattoo of a triskelion somewhere on their body, perhaps as a part of a ritual (to indicate someone has become a Druid?).
While the Druids have an intimate knowledge of prophecy and destiny, especially regarding Emrys and the Once and Future King, they do not appear to be priests or priestesses in any form. Just like the Catha, they have their own language (called the Druid tongue and Druidic Runes by Gaius), therefore, it is possible that they too are a unique culture and/or an ethnic group.
There's the Isle of the Blessed, a sacred location of the Old Religion, said to be the centre of it, and the focus of its power - it is also where the power of the ancients can still be felt after the Great Purge. Artifacts such as the Rowan staff, the Cup of Life, and the Horn of Cathbhadh were kept there under the care of the High Priestesses. Furthermore, Morgana's healing bracelet was forged on Isle - suggesting that its power allowed for the creation of powerful artifacts (this is further supported by the Rowan staff which was carved from the tree that grows there).
In a deleted scene for S4Ep1, Morgause says when she was first brought to the Isle, the hallways were teeming with women - High Priestesses. Although it is said often within the fandom, canon never establishes if the initiates were trained on the Isle. This deleted scene, however, heavily suggests it.
There's the Caerlanrigh, a sacred spring within the Grove of Brineved. There, the Disir reside within a cave, where the spring feeds into an ancient pool - in which the Disir divine from. The old ways are at their strongest there, and it's at the very centre of their powers (whether Gaius meant the old ways or the Disir here is unclear).
There's the Cauldron of Arianrhod, a sacred site of the Old Religion. The lake contains the power of the White Goddess, who can be summoned to heal those affected by the Teine Diaga ritual. However, if such a person is tricked into entering the cauldron, their soul would be lost forever.
There's the Crystal Cave, said to be the birthplace of magic. It is filled to the brim with scrying crystals that show the past, present, and future. Taliesin used the cave as the source of his prophecies for the kings of old. And as much as the crystals can be controlled, they can force visions upon powerful sorcerers too.
The cave can also hold spirits within it, seen with both Balinor and Taliesin.
While this may have been the case for Merlin alone, the cave can restore a person's magic.
There are celebrations important to the Old Religion too, such as:
Samhain, a time of year where the people feel closest to the spirits of their ancestors, in which they celebrate their passing.
During Samhain it was traditional for the High Priestesses to gather on the Isle of the Blessed and perform a blood sacrifice to release the Dorocha. This was done on the stroke of midnight, when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest.
Since the Dorocha do not roam free in the world throughout the series, it is suggested that a second blood sacrifice was done by the High Priestesses - perhaps before the night was through - to close the veil once more.
In Camelot, a feast is held as part of the celebrations. (This suggests that while the Old Religion and its practices were abandoned during and after the Purge, the heart of the religion and its holidays were never replaced).
Beltane, a time of year where the High Priestesses would gather at the Great Stones of Nemeton and summon the spirits of their ancestors with the Horn of Cathbhadh. It opens the door to the Spirit World and allows the person who blew the horn to see and speak with their ancestor of choice.
In Camelot a feast is held as part of the celebrations (which much like Samhain seems indicate that the Old Religion has been around for so long that it cannot be removed from society entirely - that the people clung onto some traditions, including the royal family).
There's the Gods of the Old Religion, the Triple Goddess, the White Goddess, and Nemaine. It could be implied that the White Goddess, and the Earth Mother Nemaine are part of the Triple Goddess, but it is just as likely for them to be separate gods.
If so, the Triple Goddess is heavily associated with the Nine, destiny and fate, and the immortality of certain sorcerers. Perhaps she is also associated with the balance of the world, due to the power over life and death being tied to the High Priestesses and supposed High Priests.
The White Goddess, however, appears to be associated with one's soul and healing. It was only her power that could heal and retain Gwen's soul after Teine Diaga ritual.
The Earth Mother Nemaine is related to Gean Canach, as it is said her tears forged the creature. The book Gaius reads from has more information, and from what can be deciphered, it says that Nemaine first wept at the slaughter of war, resulting in the Gean Canach crawling out of the Earth's belly (there is more written on the page, but it is impossible to tell what it says). This suggests that Nemaine lives within the Earth's core, and that she is indeed associated with nature and living beings as her name implies.
Furthermore, since she wept at the slaughter of war, she is perhaps the god of life itself, but not of the entire cycle. And due to the Gean Canach's abilities, to devour and drain a sorcerer of their magic, it is likely that this war's slaughter was brought about by magic.
It is possible that The Earth Mother Nemaine could be related to the Pool of Nemhain. Despite having different spellings in the show (the subtitles), they have extremely similar pronunciations (even if it is a bit different). Perhaps they are unrelated, but if they are one and the same, it could be suggested that the Earth Mother is connected to death as well as life, due to the pool being the last of the Five Gateways to the Spirit World. (This contradicts what is analysed in the above paragraph, but this post is meant to speculate multiple possibilities.)
Honourable mentions:
It could be suggested that the Quest Ritual was once part of the Old Religion. It includes the heir to the throne of Camelot transcending their body in order to receive a vision of a quest. This quest is meant to prove their worth to the people, and their worthiness of the throne. The heir prepares themself by cleansing their body and dressing in white robes. They spend an entire night kneeling on the floor, barefoot, with their eyes closed.
Due to how Arthur reacts in the morning when Uther pulls him out of it, and how sacred the entire process appears to be, it is as if the heir is actually gifted with a vision of a quest. This is supported by his reaction, as he looks dazed when relays what he has seen. Therefore, it seems as if the ritual includes some form of magic due to the preparation, and if so, then it's likely it was a practice of the Old Religion (specifically for the heirs of Camelot? Due to Camelot's association with the very heart of magic?)
It has been around for hundreds of years, so it is not outside the realm of possibility that the Quest Ritual is so old that the general consensus has forgotten its ties to the Old Religion, or much like Samhain and Beltane, it is perhaps so baked into society that it couldn't be abandoned.
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In S1Ep13, Merlin says that the "Old Religion died out centuries ago". Even in Series 1 this is far from true, but later seasons make this remark seem entirely ignorant. If anything, this sentiment comes from a post-Purge society, where the structures of the Old Religion no longer exist. Perhaps it is even propaganda that Uther pushed forward as people became more fearful over the years, turning away from the old ways despite once practicing such beliefs (and for the people of Camelot, still practicing some of those beliefs).
It is possible this was a retcon but if so then it's directly retconned in S1Ep13 when it's revealed that Nimueh is a High Priestess.
Anyhow, in response to Merlin's ignorance, Kilgharrah says, "The Old Religion is the magic of the Earth itself. It is the essence which binds all things together. It will last long beyond the time of men".
This shows that the Old Religion doesn't just refer to the religion and the gods, but rather it is the very magic that makes up the fabric of the world, and as Balinor says in S2Ep13 it's either a part of you or it isn't. This suggests that it is indeed not just a religion, but the very world, the Earth, magic.
He also goes on to say that Merlin must "find those who still serve it", which shows that Uther very much didn't succeed in eradicating the structure of the Old Religion entirely, at least at that point in the show. And perhaps that anyone could serve it, even after the very structure collapsed.
All this is to say that the Old Religion is extremely pagan. The structure itself is vague perhaps because Old Religion is personal, it is vague. The differences between the High Priestesses, the Catha, and the Druids make this clear. Following the Old Religion's beliefs, traditions, and holidays is personal and spiritual because it varies, because there is no wrong way. Because there are no set rules or a real structure at all. The High Priestesses had power, yes, but this seems to come directly from the Triple Goddess herself, rather than a societal standing.
Nimueh was at court, and she was Uther's friend, but she was also very quickly thrown from the court after Ygraine died. And yes, the High Priestesses went to war with the Ancient Kings, but that appears to be a difference in factions, rather than let's say the Christian church and its power over the centuries.
Therefore, I propose that the Old Religion as a religion was loose in its structure, that it never died out like Merlin said (which does seem to be a post-Purge sentiment), but instead simply changed and evolved, and continued to exist even after the Purge, with its holidays in Camelot, and with the Druids and their practices/beliefs.
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Overall, the information we have on the structure of the Old Religion is vague and patchy. This was perhaps intentional so the writers could work around existing canon to introduce new concepts without being constricted by their past worldbuilding. But that's getting into the Intentional Fallacy, so I'll leave that there.
It appears that the High Priestesses had the most power in society, due to their past wars with the Ancient Kings, and their sheer power and knowledge. Not to mention their artifacts and control over creatures like the Fomorroh.
But there are different beliefs and structures to the Old Religion, like with the Catha and the Druids, suggesting that there are multiple ways to worship and follow the Old Religion.
The many sacred sites show that there are different powers and sources to the Old Religion that have different purposes. Like how the path to the Cauldron of Arianrhod was lined with banners for pilgrims, not to necessarily summon the White Goddess, but to visit the site. Or how the Isle of the Blessed is a powerful religious site, while the Crystal Cave is a fairly legendary and unknown place that few ever get to see.
In conclusion, the Old Religion is vast and has many facets to it. There is some structure, but it doesn't seem entirely necessary in order to follow the Old Religion. And in reality, it is inherent to the Earth, it is magic itself.
#bbc merlin#merlin#i think that about covers everything and has about all i wanna analyse and speculate on :)#this is really a summary that will be helpful to me and probably only to me i expect this will get no notes :P#i love the old religion i really think it's cool and i like how there's gaps we can fill in with fanfic but it's always important to look#back at canon and understand what's actually there what the story says about it#and yeah I wrote this entire post because i was pondering something for my fic - mainly how much Camelot is tied#to the Old Religion which it really seems to be? like everything centres around it the heart the birthplace and such#and maybe there's that kinda thing in other kingdoms but I don't know if that's true given the Isle of the Blessed and hell even Avalon#i didnt include Avalon and Sidhe here because that doesn't quite apply to the human interpretation of the Old Religion#there's only one distinct thing i could say about it and that's the fact that Avalon is only seen by mortals when they're#about to die which links it to death and perhaps the Spirit World but it still appears to separate and more to do with the#Sidhe which seem to exist outside the conventions of the Old Religion we often see in the show - given that their#spell language is different (Old Irish as opposed to Old English much like how the Dragonlord tongue is Greek)#and like Avalon is not related to the structure of humans - and if I included it I'd have to include the dragons and such and that is#out of the scope of this post and it's already long enough so hey ho here have these tags :P#this is a 2.9k post including tags haha XD hope you have the setting on for long posts because im not putting this under a cut
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I honestly feel a lot better about having posted anything at AO3, even things I won't finish, and there's something that warms my heart about posting fic for The Borgias in 2024.
I was actually deciding between two different WIPs to represent that "phase" between my undergrad years and grad school. The other one was the prologue to a Legend of Korra/Star Wars fusion in which Noatak/Amon is Korra's father and this is revealed in S1 (I think it was going to be Tarrlok who figures it out first, lol) and it actually affects the plot and it isn't just the LOK canon plot with minor adjustments—the fusion with SW was meant to be more than vague I-am-your-father inspiration. In any case, I only ever wrote the prologue about the Noatak/Senna quasi-romance that led to Korra's existence and never even got to the sheer comedy of Korra as Tarrlok's niece :(
But the Juan and Lucrezia as dysfunctional twins one-shot is closer to being a whole fic (in a side-story way) and I did like being able to add one more to my Borgias oeuvre—and getting at least some part of that AU on AO3 after all the time I spent on it!
#anghraine babbles#fic talk#i don't think senna actually ends up with tonraq in the au so there's no easy I Have A Real Dad option#and korra grows up knowing that her parents spent a genuinely wonderful year together before a ship he was in tragically sank#(this is not actually noatak's fault - he'd actually disembarked and chosen to disappear before the shipwreck happened#and just appreciated the convenience of it effectively covering his tracks after he'd made the 'mistake' of getting attached to senna#who fully believes he was in the shipwreck and is very dead)#so korra's heard all these (true!) stories of how cool the 22-y-o charismatic super waterbender noatak seemed to senna#meanwhile tarrlok discovers just who her father was and is like 'ok she's DEFINITELY getting the satomobile. but for different reasons')#the publishing au is actually incredibly involved (it's the bay area borgias fic as well!) but just focusing on juan and lucrezia#made it more possible to compress into a reasonably sized one-shot#in reality i wrote about the kids in school and how rodrigo bulldozed into their lives when their much older brother luis tragically died#vanozza is the second of his various ex-wives. also i included an adriana del milà expy even though it's very much borgias fic bc i love he#and yes she /is/ still the mother-in-law of the giulia expy :D#lucrezia ended up getting moved ahead a year from juan and joins cesare in befriending The New Kid#miguel aka micheletto - who thus is a high school friend of theirs and has complicated feelings about everything#but never forgot that teenage cesare and lucrezia stood by him when he was involuntarily outed in their school c. 2002.#lucrezia is the most obvious nepo baby of the company but actually fantastic at marketing while cesare is the creative one#but rodrigo has convinced himself that juan is the creative genius bc he(r) likes him(j) best and obviously has infallible judgment#but yeah it dovetails into the bay area au in which the alfonso d'aragona expy is lucrezia's boyfriend al from pleasanton#he doesn't like her living in the house her family owns outright in oakland for reasons he never manages to explain!)#political shenanigans and codependent siblings#avatar: the legend of korra
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shakes him around
#qktalks#hiiiiii sorry for posting at midnight. i so eepy#btw i gave up on the monthly screencap redraws . lol#i don't enjoy deadlines for hobbies i've realized. so i simply won't give myself any#imsuddenly slightly less stressed. hashtag miracle worker#anyway i feel like . hold on#<- i do that a lot don't i . say dumb shit and then go anyway and say more dumb shit.hilarious.Anyway#the littler details of my art are usually covered up by colored lines and shading and then noise#so.wanted u to know that i Draw Shirt Collars and i Detail them.bc it's hard to see in my finished products#anything with edges‚ i usually line the edges too even if it's thin fabric#bc i think it looks nice.and then it is Erased from everyone's eyes#^ not particularly miffed about this btw.I know the lines r there and that's what matters#whatam i talking about . sorrydid i mention im fuckin tired#yawning every 3 seconds as i type this.god's sleepiest soldier#^ mobbu up there is one part in a three piece set. i hope.if everything goes according to plan#and the lighting for teru n ritsu don't look awful.uhm#yeag<3 [collapses]
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