#I don't even know if it's helpful but it was fun remembering all of my thought process just for eyelashes ahah

[jadegrey711]

Wally Clark x Reader Drabble

Just a quick little drabble about Wally and reader trying out some thigh riding. Really more banter than smut, but enjoy!

*NOT MY GIF*

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711) 

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake. 

"I really don't understand why you wore shorts on top of the grey sweatpants?" you teased as you sat in Wally's lap. "I mean you died after the movie Rocky came out and he was just rocking the grey sweatpants."

"It was the style!" Wally groaned.

"This is why the 90s were WAY better than the 80s."

"Excuse me?" Wally gasped. "The Goonies? Stand by Me? E. freaking T! Not to mention Dirty Dancing, which I know you love. So don't even try." He acused pointing a finger at you. "As well as MTV. The 80s were the shit."

"The 80s had great movies no doubt but fashion please! The 80s will forever be the spandex era, and you my wonderful Wally, are a victim of that." You said making your point, and trying to get up from Wally's lap.

"You think I'm a fashion victim?" Wally gaped, and pulled you back down to where you were stradling his thigh, the heat of his strong thighs radiating through the grey sweatpants he always wore. "Please I might have been dead but I watched everyone go through the 2010s, all that galaxy print still makes me shudder." He made an exasperated shivering motion which made you laugh as he wrapped his arms back around your torso.

"I never said that the 2010s fashion wasn't shit either. I think that galaxy print and spandex go hand in hand with the fashion victim department."

"Oh you're going to pay for that comment, baby. I ain't nobody's fashion victim." The grip on your waist tightened just a fraction.

"Oh yeah? And whatcha gonna do...Wallace?" You sassed staring those dark brown eyes down. And watched as they flicked down to your precarious position, straddling his thigh.

"Hmmm. Let's see what this will do." He said as he grabbed the hem of your jeans, and brought you forward on his thigh. You let out a small gasp, as the seam of your jeans hit just right on your clit as he brought you up his thigh.

"Wally!" You gasped.

"Did it feel good baby?"

"That's not the point." You said softly still trying to sound stern. "People will hear us." Wally leaned in close for a kiss.

"I promise I'll keep you quiet." He smirked, then pulled you back down his leg and back up again. You let out a reluctant moan and Wally was quick to cover your mouth with his, hushing your moans.

"Wally." You tried again, but he was having fun now and there's no stopping Wally not until he's made you cream your pants.

"You're so sensitive baby. We're going to have to do this more in the future." He growled, as he brought you back down and up again. "Do you think I could make you cum like this? It's going to be fun trying." He chuckled, kissing you again and deepening it this time, his tongue invading your mouth, eating the small moans he pulled from you.

"Maybe next time, I'll do this when you've only got your panties on, see how fast this fashion victim can make you cum, huh?"

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped, you and the heat that the thought of you two doing this again brought to your core.

[olderthannetfic]

As someone who wants to write their first long romance fic, I looked up “romancing the beat” and… is that it?? Is that really how people write romances? Is that fine? I just write 2-3k for each of the 20 or so steps, and sprinkle in some jokes and some smut and at the end of the “giving up” stage some angst too and it’s done?? I am shook.

I read more fanfic romance than published romance and I was dimly aware that romance is pretty formulaic (especially published stuff) but I didn’t know the formula was so… detailed? Fill-in-the-blanks shaped even?

I've written all those things before (smut fluff and angest) although only in oneshots, so that skill is not new to me. But do I really just put Blorbo and Blorbecita in this 20-step formula and get a long fic out of it? That people will read? It can’t be that simple, can it?

(Please don’t tell me romancing the beat is satire. I'll die of embarrassment if it turns out to be satire. Please don’t be satire)

--

I find most of those plot structure books laughable though not satire.

I haven't read Romancing the Beat in years, but I remember it being more or less sound. The issue is that all books in this genre are taking something that good writers understand instinctively and making it a canned formula for those who don't.

This is an excellent way to structure your revisions when you have a draft but something isn't quite working. It's often a good way to analyze someone else's story that you already like and think works. It's a much less good way to write in the first place.

It might work for you, but trying to figure out which bit of your proposed plotline goes in this or that formal category in three act structure or Romancing the Beat's structure or whatever is often difficult and pointless.

How To Structure Your Novel and/or How to Actually Finish A Draft are very popular and lucrative genres of nonfiction writing. Tons of people want to write long things but keep failing to. They will spend plenty of money on products that purport to be the magic bullet that will get them there. That doesn't make the book bad, but just... you know... keep that context in mind.

In my experience, all of the books of this type sound decent and can probably help you grind through a long thing with somewhat less likelihood of giving up, but I usually look at my outline that I instinctively know works and at the canned formula I'm supposed to awkwardly shoehorn my outline into and decide it's more trouble than it's worth.

And no, I don't think that youtube video on the four types of writers is accurate either. These formal structures don't suck because I'm the instinctive type instead of whatever the other one was. They suck because they're simplistic lenses applied after the fact rather than a truly accurate description of why plots in fun books work. To make the structure, they've had to flatten and ignore on the same level as Joseph "the sexist, racist hack" Campbell's hero's journey does.

[navillee]

i'm curious, how do you see xavier as a sub? i'm a switch/vers myself (and a xavier main) and even /i/ have trouble seeing him as a sub

Xavier as a sub - an introduction

˚★⋆｡˚. ⋆ ⋆ ★⋆

Don't worry, I can help you

With the wonderfuls of

Sub Xavier.

★⋆ . ˚

˚★

The abandoned crown prince:

I've been playing lads since the release, and my first five star card was Xavier's fluffy trap, and that card engraved the first impressions of him on me. I didn't read his entire lore (now we have 5 guys it got too overwhelming to keep tracking of everyone, so it may not be thaat accurate. But since it's just headcanons and that's a safe space, let's goo);

He gives off the vibe of cat that lives in the neighborhood and probably have an owner that spoiled him rooten with food, toys and everything Xavier could ask for, but still, every opportunity it gets it will running down the stairs and meowing at your door to be your guest for days and have fun with your cardboard boxes;

"Running away" from a dying planet where he was a prince because his star has left him and his home to succumb into deepspace. Until he knocks at your door to be your guest for a unknown period of time. Maybe until he remembers he actually has an apartment himself;

He didn't mind to left his home and his position as the crown prince to go to the ends of deepspace to reunite with you once again. Xavier is so very dedicated that he even ended up being selfless into the process;

That's the trick when we talk about Xavier as a sub: it's a matter of lighting up (ba dum tss*) the shadows hiding under the entire trajectory of him as a crown prince, the role you played of singlehandedly keeping him an all he knew as a home alive atop of him desperately searching for you to the point he almost died several times;

The fact that Philos needed to be powered by the Aether core, that's by itself it's enough to set up some power dynamics where Xavier knows – and approves – he will be under;

That's why he started his searching after all, Xavier isn't a ruler without you. He claims that "my star has left me" as much as the kings from empires long ago vanished by time claimed that their goddesses have abandoned them;

That's why once he finally finds you, he shows that possessive and jealous behaviour, beefing with everyone that approaches you. "How dare them?" You're his star, his dearly adored goddess, showered by every sacrifice royalty privileges could ever offer you, center of his heart, life and soul, so how dare them trying to get you divine attention with bread?!??? "Like, hello? I'm a prince and the ultimate sacrifice from my own people lying down just by your side at any moment you ask. May I have your attention back?" *Makes a scene to get it back* "yeah, much better now."

Back to the present and +18 aspects:

He's a mix of everything he has seen during and being during the decades alone looking for you: from social etiquette he has at events that bring both of you back once again to a ballroom dance at Philos, making everyone around both of you sigh, to the modern sexual freedom that made him let go from the strings of being a nobel to be more bold and show you how much he wants and needs you;

He demands like a spoiled prince sometimes because he can't help but be one. It's just a matter of time until he remembers he can't fight back his god;

Then, like a spoiled loyal knight, he'll act possessive and jealous, but that's until he gets your attention back;

Then, you'll get a spoiled bold sub that will tease just as much as he will adores you. A power dynamics that will be playfully challenged, but ALWAYS respected;

Xavier will challenge you, as the spoiled nobel he is. That's why he seems a dom sometimes at the first glance. But don't let the crown prince of Philos fool you, his ultimate goal is your pleasure, to prove he's the only one dignified enough to occupy that position within the dynamic of power, loyalty and adoration you two have.

Expect to find him wandering at your apartment with his hoodie only. It's so easy for you to have access to him when he's only wearing it. You can run your hands from his lower back up to his nipples via his abs while he fights for his life to keep the dinner from burning (poor boy, always losses and made a mess in the kitchen, not only with the food);

Like a empty vessel waiting to be filled with life once again, he trembles and sighs once he gets your hands on him;

The type of sub that also put verbally action, encouraging and teasing you to go further, to hit harder, to posses him like the ancient gods used to do through dominating the mind and bodies of the rulers using them as a receptacle of their own divine presence on earth;

"hmm~! I know miss enjoy touching there. I wonder why...while miss have all the meat she could ask for at her home, she still giving attention to a peasant offering her moldy brea- nnhg! Yes, there, miss! Again, p-please!"

Huge fan of oral, both giving and receiving, but cums faster when it's eating you out. Xavier can't get enough of your taste to the point you have to pull his hair to get him off of you to properly breath and from overstimulating you;

Obsessed with public play. First opportunity he finds with no wanderers at sight, he's bringing you to an empty alley at Linkon to have your juices mixing with his saliva again;

It doesn't matter if he's hard with pre marking his hunter uniform, all he's focusing on is making you cum on his mouth;

His stamina is something scary. Can fuck you all night and is invested in finding your favorite positions. People at hunter's association will ask themselves why he seems so sleepy while slightly smirks while he watches you pass by;

He lights up when he's about to cum (literally). There's smalls specks of light when he's about to orgasm: around his face to show of the sweaty reddish pretty traces of him, with a open mouth letting slide moans and words of adoration, and around his cock – when you're pumping his cock with your hands – also to show of how much he can cum for you. Again, he's a shown off, for you, his star.

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[solid-six]

Speaking of replaying things...got it in my head recently about maybe playing Death Stranding for a second time. Played it through once a few years ago and didn't think I'd want to do it over again.

So last night I thought I'd watch some of a YT playthrough, see how I felt about it. And after about and hour or so, I stg I've oscillated back and forth between...

Oh hell yeah! I can remember there was a lot here I really liked that was enough for me to finish the whole thing the first time; and

Bluhhhhhhhhhhhhh I also remember why I haven't wanted to play it again until apparently now lol

...like 20 times.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

theater camp (the movie) is amazing

[oh-meow-swirls]

i think my favorite gate of whimsy bizarre room is probably the phantomart one solely because hailey can also get it which means that you can get some pretty good items as her since you can buy stuff normally. but also because jibanyan still rides in the cart. best oversight i think-

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

[zoekrystall]

Zero idea if it'll help or fade into the background but I downloaded stuff to track things and smacked widgets onto my homescreen to not forget. Initially searched for pain ones (where I downloaded two just for good measure ig) but saw that one is customizable for like anything you want and no purchase stuff for me bc included in that one pass and said sure fuck it. I think at the min I need to track pain bc by my memory do I go mental thinking if it just feels frequent n all or if it actually is and mind goes blank when at the doc (will just be fun translating to ger OTL I learn sm to describe stuff in eng but then it lacks in first language). Alas for whatever reason lil me never thought abt actually writing these things down (prob bc every adult anyways dismissed them to the point of not being sure if the pain was actually there so what was the point. but now. now I'm the adult in my life who calls the shots for their own life even if anxiety makes it hard).

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

[nfnfnfnfndnfkfjfndksjsndnxjsojsn]

i feel like more people need to realize we are all share the same sky and none of us are truly ever alone

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Issues with Writing a Self-Insert #1

In case y'all didn't know, I've been going through a reflective period recently, and I've noticed that fear of what others think has held me back in almost every single aspect of my life, and unfortunately fandom is no exception.

I remember when I was like 14 and I tried to write fanfiction for the first time (I don't remember even what fandom I was writing for). Unfortunately, I could barely type a single paragraph without immediately deleting all that I wrote and being overly critical of my lack of writing ability. Even at that age, in the privacy of my dorm room, I couldn't shake off the fear of failure (and I mean howw?? I wasn't the only 14 year old trying to write Wattpad fanfiction). I remember comparing myself to some of my peers who had an amazing talent for writing. For me, I didn't get jealous, but rather I got intimidated, so intimidated that instead of continuing on with something and being imperfect at it, I'd just drop the entire activity altogether.

Because of this habit, I missed out on a lot of potential opportunities for growth during this time. I guess I saw people who were amazing, assumed that they popped out of the womb like that or something, and just....gave up. If I could go back in time, I would tell young me to embrace the cringe, embrace the mess. So what if people laugh or look at you funny or immediately stop whispering to each other once they see you? It sucks, but you will find your people, and you will survive. Trying to be palatable to everyone just means that you stifle yourself.

Years later, I wanted to get back into fanfiction, but this time with very little creative writing experience. What held me back was the fear that someone would read something that I wrote and ridicule it for being something that only an angsty teen would write, except that I am no longer an angsty teen but an unfortunately angsty adult riddled with insecurity, and that reality would just make that hypothetical comment sting even more (that's another thing about me. I create hypothetical ways for people to roast me in order to talk myself out of doing stuff).

[greyedian]

oh my god I was thinking about a jayvik fallout new vegas AU and was like "hm maybe Viktor uploads himself into one of those robots until he can get a different body by like repurposing power armor or something idk" and then I remembered that this guy's name actually is Victor

[ourceliumnetwork]

i really am just going to have to lean into the fact that i just really like cheese board foods and deal with that, aren't I?

[an-android-child]

¡JAJA! YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY AUTISM TRAP CARD

SPECIAL INTEREST

SO, first let's get to Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne's clusterfuck of a relationship.

As everyone will tell you, comic's canon is like gender: a social construct. If anyone tries to tell you there's a main canon they're lying to you. It's true that the comics TRY to market it as such, and we've been through so many reboots and continuities that I believe the present default is, literally, that everything is canon, depending on what the writer or story calls for. Which is as confusing as it sounds, and has been regarded as, possibly, the move of all time.

And I want to make it explicitly clear that I am not taking Elseworlds (official dc aus for their ocs, like Batman being a pirate and shit like that) into account. This is literally all "main continuity" in all its rebooted as shit glory. I'll specify what continuity I mean, but basically know that every once in a while DC has the compulsive need to kill off their entire character universe and start it all again "from the beginning", except it's literally never that because half of this reboots need the reader to know the characters already, so what's the point, and that they tend to just make everything worse and deliver the most dumb possible comic events in history, with few exceptions. But that's a personal opinion and it literally doesn't matter.

At the end of the day, here's the thing. There are... A shit ton of interpretations about their relationship, because it literally varies from writer to writer. No, I'm not kidding.

Let's start from the beginning. Literally.

First Main Universe

Detective Comics (1937) #38

Writer: Bill Finger

The first appearance of Dick Grayson is hilarious because it doesn't mention any legal procedure regarding anything related to the fact that Dick's an orphan now. Batman sees a traumatized child and thinks "is anybody gonna kidnap that" and doesn't wait for an answer. There's no real label for their relationship either, aside from the cover's vague remark of "taken under his mantle", and literally those two panels where it implies that Dick will be working with Bruce as an aide or something. Or better said, that they will be going on adventures together lmao. I mean, I guess.

Also unrelated but I love the fact that Bruce caves like a wet paper towel for his kids so much, even at the beginning. No, you can't be a crime fighter vigilante, wait no no don't look at me like that here I'll train you for months here's my secret identity and all my money please come live at my very big and lonely mansion

Detective Comics (1937) # 39 & #43 & #47

Writer: Bill Finger

So yeah, for a while, the og Batman writer basically referred to Dick as an aide. Whatever that means. Unpaid internship go brrrrrrrr.

Detective Comics (1937) #40

Writer: Bill Finger

But even from the beginning, it was obvious that their relationship was special and that they cared for each other. Hell, Dick was the first person to ever know Batman's secret identity. That's a huge ass deal. Not even his fiancé knew. Before Alfred even existed, Dick Grayson was already living in that house lmao.

Detective Comics (1937) #41

Writer: Bill Finger

The FIRST ever mention of any type of legal relationship between them is this off-hand comment made when they're trying to infiltrate a boarding school to find some killer I can't remember the name of. I place some legitimacy in it because they're literally going as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, no disguises. When did Bruce do the paperwork for this? When did the trial take place? Who knows! It will be explained. Later. Somewhat. Don't think about it.

As time progressed, the relationship became more explicitly parental. You could argue this was because of the controversy, but whatever it may be for, Bruce doesn't shy away from telling/showing Dick how much he loves him. He also does it when he thinks no one's paying much attention to him lol

Batman (1940) #20 (this issue is very cute)

Writer: Bill Finger

Batman (1940) #66

Writer: Bill Finger

Sometimes though, he would insist they were just the best of friends.

Detective Comics (1937) #166

Writer: Don C. Cameron (i'm not sure if it's really him, but i can't find any other sources claiming any other writer, and it kinda seems like his writing style)

Ironically, Dick seems to be the one to insist they're just good friends the most, which I find an interesting choice.

Batman (1940) #3 & #20 & #118

Writer: Bill Finger

Except... When he doesn't.

Batman (1940) #57

Writer: Bill Finger

Batman (1940) #339

Writer: Gerry Conway

Either way, don't be fooled. No matter what, this little guy cares.

Batman (1940) #13 (in this story Bruce is just pulling off a ruse with a dummy so Dick doesn't get killed, but instead of telling him he leaves the house lmao. Also, oh, the irony)

Writer: Bill Finger

The general consensus though, if there's anything like that in a world as cruel as this one, is that Dick was never formally adopted, just taken in as a ward. This was because, in the 40's, single men couldn't adopt even if they wanted to, so that was the next best thing. But that's another entire can of worms.

So yeah, Dick was never really adopte-

Detective Comics (1937) #145

Writer: Don C. Cameron (again, I can't be sure, but the comic references two other issues written by him, and I'll eat my left shoe if it's anyone else)

Yeah let's just. Let's just move on.

Second Main Universe

In the second universe, things start getting messy. Writers have decided angst is what they want, and their relationship becomes way more rocky. They fight, Dick becomes Nightwing, Bruce gets his back broken, Jason fucking dies, not in that order. Y'know the drill. The focus on father and son shifts, but let's start with the basics.

For some context, in this universe Dick isn't adopted, but Bruce is his legal guardian.

The Untold Legend of the Batman (1980) #2

Writer: Len Wein

So yeah, Dick isn't adopte-

Robin (1993) #0 (thank you so much @northoftheroad for helping me find this instance!!! there are way too many comics sometimes lmaoo. i recommend her blog so much, and she specializes in Dick's whole comic history)

Writer: Chuck Dixon

Ignore that.

He's just a ward-

Robin (1993) Annual #4

Writer: Chuck Dixon (IS HE ADOPTED OR NOT DIXON)

Ignore that.

I meant foster chil-

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (1989) #100

Writer: Dennis O'Neil

Fuck.

Look. This is a mess, we both know it. Let's pretend consistency is a thing that exists and that DC gives a shit about it.

In the second universe, Dick ISN'T adopted, and doesn't care much that he hasn't bee-

Tales of the Teen Titans (1984) #50

Writers: Marv Wolfman & George Pérez

I actually meant that he cares and wants to be Bruce's so-

Batman (1940) #439

Writer: Marv Wolfman

I mean, he was a child when he said that! Character development I guess! In a way! It's the same author. I don't understand the point of the conversation at the wedding if Dick literally asked him not to. I can get behind tha-

Secret Origins (1986) #13 (thank you so much @tiffanybluesclues for helping me find this instance!!! they have this super fricking cool meta i can't recoomend enough if you want to see more clearly for yourself what Bruce's and Dick's whole deal is about lmao)

Writer: Dan Mishkin

Okay this is getting ridic-

Batman (1940) #217

Writer: Frank Robbins

YEAH. WHY NOT

DID I MENTION THAT THIS UNIVERSE TRIES FOR THE BROTHER ANGLE. Except when it doesn't.

In the First Universe we had the best friends angle, now we have the brother one. They want to keep Bruce young so bad, even at the cost of consistency.

Robin (1993) Annual #4

Writer: Chuck Dixon

And also the best friend angle. Again. Because of course we do.

All this mess is just the first two universes and I'm leaving so many details out. Jesus Fuck.

Third Main Universe

The universe I was referencing, the one where Dick is adopted by Bruce as an adult, is the third main continuity. From one of my favourite comic writers (who was done so dirty, and I'll never forgive some fans for how they treat her, or DC editorial for not letting her finish her Nightwing story properly).

Batman: Gotham Knights (2000) #17 (this issue was released in 2001)

Writer: Devin Grayson (my beloved)

You'd think this would be a pivotal moment for their relationship, in the sense that it would shape how other authors wrote them from then on. As times have changed, the focus on a much more character driven story has been the cause for many changes in DC comics. One of the reasons the Second Universe was so full of angst (not as much as people make it out to be, but way more than we were used to), was precisely that fact. And now, in the present, one could argue the focus is still there, perhaps even more so. You'd think this would mark the end of an era, the beginning of another. You'd be correct, in literally any other circumstance.

But this is DC.

52 (2006) #30 (this issue was released in 2007)

Writers: Geoff Johns & Grant Morrison & Greg Rucka & Mark Waid

Batman and Robin (2009) #7 (this issue was released in 2010)

Writer: Grant Morrison

Batman (1940) #713 (this issue was released in 2011)

Writer: Fabian Nicieza

This will always be DC.

Fourth Main Universe

Nightwing (2011) #0

Writers: Kyle Higgins & Tom DeFalco

So, yeah. Canon is a social construct. Some writers see them as brothers, some as best friends, some as equals, some as father and son, some as fricking colleagues, and I'm sure you can find someone who sees them as lovers. This is literally a pick your poison type of deal here.

And all of this. All of this just to talk about Dick and Bruce. I have barely even touched the present continuity (the fourth one, I'm not counting soft reboots because everytime a new writer appears it is a soft reboot istG). I haven't even gotten to Jason.

I'll do a part two in the reblogs later about him, lmao. Probably make my own post as not to clog op's notes (this was supposed to be a short answer and it got way too long)

If you want some recs about a character in particular, or a specific type of relationship, feel free to hit me up! I'll see what I can find

dick and jason trying to give tim the crash course on what it's like to be robin, except tim leaves the conversation more confused than he was before, because everyone quickly had the realisation that there was. definitely a favourite child

dick goes on about how bruce's teachings gave him healthy outlets for his grief and anger etc etc, whilst jason's very much confused because he was kinda under the impression that robin was an outlet for bruce's feelings.

dick says that the father-mentor ratio was really well balanced during his time as robin, and bruce always saw him as a son first. and jason's just like "....i didn't even know he saw me as his son until after i died????"