#I don't aspire to be in a romantic relationship at all. the idea of being expected to perform romantic love makes me nauseous.

[sonofsin]

sexuality is so weird

[pomefioredove]

Imagine the overbloat gang as fathers or like proud/panicking that their s/o is having a child and they don't know what to do

Imagine the gang trying to give their kids a goid life and getting baby fever like who wouldn't because the kid is literally a mixed of him and you and they gush about how much they love their s/o and children like ???????

Overbload gang as fathers and i will start violently sob

I do have a weakness for familial headcanons :) future au time??

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ as fathers

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (no mentions of the child's origins), reader is not specified to be yuu, obviously takes place in the future

I think Riddle is one of the most reluctant to have children

for years he was strictly against them. his excuses were always that children are messy, unruly, his career, his relationship with you... but he was mostly just afraid of turning into his mother

as he gets older and forms his own identity, though, he realizes that it takes a lot of intentional effort to fuck up a child like his mom did, and he changes his mind

I can see him with... maybe two kids

he would never want an only child. after all, the bonds he made with his peers are what kept him going

he is a pretty good parent overall. maybe a little to focused on bedtimes and table manners, but the kids don't seem to mind

Trey and Che'nya babysit often (and it's always disastrous)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

talking Leona into the idea of fatherhood is like diffusing a bomb with a blindfold on. the guy won't even JOKE about it

if you do end up with a kid, it's unplanned, whether that be pregnancy or baby left on the doorstep

but he makes a surprisingly(?) good father. defo a girl dad, he would spoil a daughter rotten. lets her beat the daylights out of Neji because that's his little princess :)

parenting is really not as scary as he thought it was going to be

he has "I'm just resting my eyes" *falls asleep for 8 hours on the reclining chair in the living room* dad energy

the hardest part?

pretending to like vegetables in front of the kid to set a good example

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul would actually be an awesome dad idc. IDC!

he has a good relationship with his mom and stepdad (who definitely babysit all the time; they insist on it), so he has good role models

he's not even worried about how it'll affect his career! Azul has a "do it all" personality: businessman, entrepreneur, father, aspiring millionaire...

and he is so overprotective

he'd cover that kid in bubble wrap if you'd let him

but he's really more concerned about their feelings. sending them to school is much harder than closing a business deal

he's a little sensitive, but he knows he'll have to trust them eventually

P.S. the tweels are NOT allowed to babysit. bad influences

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil. ohhh Jamil :(

kids were never on the table for him, even after he met you and fell in love, he just... couldn't imagine it

regardless of whether or not he and his family are in a better place. (for the sake of this story, let's pretend they are. I want him to be happy) he just has so much generational trauma that he knows the child will end up with some, anyway

when, if, he's ready, it will still be a tough process. but worth it

he's such a supportive dad. bragging about his child at any chance, definitely the kind of dad to show everyone the baby pictures without being asked

it gets embarrassing for them as they grow, but he doesn't care

he thinks they're the greatest thing ever, and people should know that!

he is so proud

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil had always wanted to play a father on screen, but once he hits that age, he starts thinking about real life, too

he's gotten where he wants to be, after all: he's still young, he's in love, and his career, as successful as it is, is starting to wind down. so, why not?

he is the most supportive partner you could ask for. despite his schedule, he's involved in everything (yes, even the messy stuff)

he's got a customized baby bjorn and everything

I can see him with... one. just one is enough for him. he also has girl dad energy. he's already looking forward to playing princesses and letting her do his makeup (terribly, of course)

he knows his child will grow to have their own wants and thoughts and personality, and he's supportive. besides, if he has another Epel on his hands, he'll know how to handle them

just... gentler, this time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

for you, anon, I will enterain the idea that Idia may someday reproduce. but there's still a 50% chance that kid is a robot

joking (kind of)

I don't think he'd even really want kids. considering his own unhappy childhood and the whole curse of his bloodline thing. but, like the others, he can be convinced!

I think he'd make a pretty good father, tbh. neurotic, sure, but he's not too clingy, nor too distant

whatever kids he has will be smart, and he trusts them. he likes teaching them nerdy stuff, too (finally, someone he can infodump to!!!)

he probably ends up with more than he'd think. 2 or 3

as long as you never bring up how cringe he was in college, he's rather mature and prepared for anything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

out of the whole lineup, Malleus is the the only one to have thought your future children while at NRC. daydreamed, really

I know, not surprising. look at the guy. he's practically kicking his legs back and forth while coming up with baby names in game

it was just a fantasy at first, then you became closer, graduated, got older, and...

Lilia began teasing him about getting grandkids, and Malleus took him quite seriously

he knows he's still young (though, at his age, Lilia was already general), but he doesn't want to wait forever. you both have many long talks on the matter

and end up with... as many children as you can handle, basically

Malleus is somewhat of an awkward father (having been raised by Lilia will do that to you)

but he cares. and he tries! very hard. plus, there's always Lilia, Silver, and Sebek around to lend a hand

[weebsinstash]

I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about a certain angsty idea

Like pretty sure this is implying getting married is a canon event? But in a way, doesn't that kind of, really strip the choice and actual love and magic out of it? Or, could you at least understand the idea of a Spiderperson who may feel that way? Did you genuinely fall in love with someone if it was "supposed" to happen? And the universe could fall apart if you don't so you arent really even given a choice to say no? Isn't that like having a preprogrammed robot instead of a true lover?

Still kinda obsessed with the concept of a Spider Reader where you didn't get scouted by Miguel until after you had already lost your loved ones, but, it's clear that some Spiders are scouted before they have all of their events (Pav), and, I can't stop thinking about, you're in the Spider Society and making friends and having fun and stuff and you're. Still supposed to get married or have a relationship or something and you're just, completely avoiding having anything at all, not even dating anyone, nothing really feels natural to you and you just don't really want anything?

Months and months and months pass and you've turned multiple people down in your home dimension and Spiders at the Society are told not to interact with you in certain ways, which becomes overboard when no one ever seems to want to hug you or even high five you or touch you at all (because "oh don't let them get a crush on you, they can't break canon" or some dumb paranoia) which just eventually develops into isolating you from the Spider Society, and they all think, "ok good they'll spend more time at home and then start the route for this canon event and we can talk to them again" but it just. Doesn't happen. You're starting to show up to the Society less and less but the only thing that changes when you get back home is a loneliness that you fill with a pet and some platonic friends

Peter B is trying to "subtly" nudge you. "Ya know kid, aren't you in your 20s now? Isn't it time you try and, I dunno, get into college or something? You've got so much potential!" as he willingly omits how he met his wife in college and maybe it's in the model that you could meet your spouse there too as a potential option

But I like the idea and already lowkey established concept that canon changes and has tweaks here and there and can be bent in certain ways so, imagine like, idk, imagine Reader already being with the person who is supposed to your soul mate, and, you find out about The Model or whatever, the Arachno Humanoid Poly Mutiverse or whatever, and you just realize kind of on accident that, oh having a relationship at all is kind of just another prison for you to be in, huh? Another choice stripped away from you, another thing that made you feel like a rubber stamp in existence in the weird copy/paste Spider Society. So you just. You don't intentionally bomb the relationship but you become so extremely depressed and refuse to talk about it with your SO that they actually leave you, making the choice independently, changing canon but not breaking it

But here's Miguel, which I guess you could imagine as a protective obsessive romantic figure or even platonic parental, and he's all but grinding his teeth because, as he sees it, you're not only risking completely breaking your canon which you know Would Fucking Kill You, but, why are you constantly shooting down what are supposed to be good changes for your life? No relationships? No college? No aspirations at all? Why are you not living up to your full potential? He's so frustrated because he KNOWS you could "be better than this" and that you're "supposed to" be better than this, but you just seem. Depressed and defeated. He wants you to be better because it's better for your life, your future, your safety (even if depending on preference it absolutely gets under his skin to see you with anyone else romantically or sexually)

And I have no idea how they would externally force you into some kind of relationship but, I've also thought about, alternatively, the tried and true "Reader lost their home dimension but somehow didn't disappear and lives on Earth 928B now" (the movie specifics its 928b ok, pet peeve I know, 928 is comic Miguel, 928b is ATSV movie Miguel) and eventually, somehow, your bracelet comes off one day and you're about to freak out and it's like, wait, you aren't glitching??? Why aren't you glitching? I mean, you're happy to not be in pain and flashing colors, but, this doesn't make sense? And you don't wanna tempt fate but you don't bother to get a new bracelet or, other people are around to witness this weird event and so, Miguel is immediately investigating what happened. I imagine maybe they scan you with the Go Home Machine and it's just like "ha ha yeah you're home already :)" you know like some "Dimensional Match: 928B" and the machine doesn't even activate, it just scans you with the drone, is like "yeah you're good lmao" and goes back to sleep

And now Miguel is like, you know. Understandably concerned because now there are two Spiders for Nueva York, but, also, he's just like, unbeknownst to you absolutely over the moon necause if you're technically a part of his dimension now, maybe you can complete your canon and have some sort of happy ending. But. Miguel never had his wedding either? Or at least not the "true" one, like how Peter moves on from Gwen to Mary Jane? Cue Miguel suddenly spending suspicious amounts of time on his platform in the dark looking at holograms and algorithms and asking Lyla to calculate the probability of you two maybe becoming spouses for each other

AND YOU'RE SO FUCKED IF IT SAYS YOU CAN LMAO. Cause now not only is he all the more obsessed with you (you were BROUGHT to his dimension by a miracle, can't you SEE you're destined for each other) but now it's "don't you understand? Not only are we MEANT for each other, you don't have a choice! You CANT break canon!" And he's fucking putting a finger in your face and lecturing you about how, you know what, it's ok if you're scared and you're not ready. You know why? Because you two were made for each other, and, he must have been made to be this strong so he can protect you and make decisions on your behalf, right? It's all in The Model. It's all in God's Plan. The two of you are going to get married whether you think it's the love you're fantasizing about or not, and Miguel is more than thrilled that he was essentially just handed a certified excuse to keep you all to himself on a silver platter

Also. I guess this is preferential but. Imagine if Earth 928B's solution to two Spidermen, like how Miles' "corrected" itself with getting rid of blonde Peter, what if the universe and canon just went, "actually it's all cool though cause technically one of them isn't going to technically in name be a Spider anymore, they're going to be forcibly turned into a cute little pampered house spouse" and ON GOD he's getting children out of you if you're capable of it and that ISN'T optional. He's thinking you can start at AT LEAST three babies and then talk about how many more from there? He's always wanted a large family with lots of cute little girls and boys, you know 👉👈

[valtsv]

friendly question about ur aro identity—

are you ace as well? and if not, what is the line for you between romantic and sexual? like is kissing considered romantic to you?

and, do you date people? or does being aro mean you’re not interested in dating?

thank you 🫡

so this is all personal to me and definitely shouldn't be taken as a reflection on all aromantics/aromanticism in general, but no, i'm not asexual. things like sex and kissing aren't inherently romantic to me, and i tell people that much, and let them choose their boundaries in a relationship to me accordingly. if a friend wants to kiss or even have sex, i'm more than happy to do that, but i identify with aromanticism because i feel uncomfortable with the wider social expectations of the idea of "romance". that a romantic relationship is inherently more special than any other kind of loving relationship; that if you love someone romantically you should demonstrate it through actions that are reserved for that person alone and can't be extended to anyone else (and i don't necessarily mean sex; if someone i loved wanted me to be exclusive to them sexually that's a boundary i'd be willing to negotiate and agree to, but it wouldn't be a romantic gesture to me, just a gesture of love); that you should aspire to seek out a romantic relationship and find "the one" who, once you've found them, you should devote your life to and put before all else.

i guess it's not really romance itself that i have an issue with, but all the societal baggage attached to it. maybe that makes me not a "true" aromantic, but it's a label i identify with, and i find i have things in common with the community who fall under it, so as long as they're happy to have me, i think i'll stay here for now.

[andy-wm]

his “coming out” should not be in any way shape or form be connected to jungkook. idk why you shippers can’t leave them tf alone when they’re not dating ffs.

[Select.font=sarcasm]

Oooh I am so glad you came here to tell me this, Anon! You are clearly well informed on both Jimin’s life, and "coming out".

I didn't even know that "coming out" needs to be in inverted commas. Thank you for helping me understand.

I also didn't know what his "coming out" should or should not be! I didn't know there were rules for "coming out"! I'm so grateful to have this information now.

I hope you've also told Jimin how he should "come out"?

I hope he listens to you since obviously, you have his happiness at heart.

Because "coming out" with no significant other to support him - and facing the inevitable repercussions alone - that would DEFINITELY make things better for him, right?

Also we all know how much Jimin LOVES being alone, so naturally we should wish that for him.

Objectively, he would be happier if he was single I guess? Because having a secure and healthy long term relationship with someone who loves and supports you is known to be pretty shit. Makes sense... that's why nobody looks for love. They certainly don't write songs about love.

Ever.

People aspire to being isolated, like Jimin showed us this with his song Serendipity.

When he sang "just let me love you" he probably meant he wanted to be single and live alone forever in his bubble. That makes sense.

And of course they aren't dating!

You're right, there's absolutely nothing special between Jimin and Jungkook. They are 100% platonic and good pals.

It would be ridiculous to look at them and see love and intimacy.

I dont know what love looks like, but this is not it...

Definitely not this either.

Just friends here.

So friendly!

Brothers even!

Keeping to the bro code here too, 100%

Absolutely no crossing of boundaries here....

I always caress my friend's clothes when I sing their own love song back to them. Especially when my face is less than a foot from their face. It's very platonic.

Anyway, there's no reason to think they might be dating.

Why would people even think they COULD be?

It's unimaginable.

Society has never ignored or dismissed loving romantic relationships between same-sex couples, and that's certainly not what you're doing. Not at all. You just know they aren't dating because ... reasons.

I'm sure you don't object to Jimin being gay because that would be homophobic (you even know how he should "come out"). If that was the case you might as well just get a tattoo of an L on your forehead and throw away all your Jimin merch because our boy is gayer than a rainbow cake. Gayer even than the rainbow cake his appa has *always in stock* in his coffee shop in Busan.

And if you generously tolerate his gayness, i imagine you will allow that one day he could date (definitely not now, because he probably has no interest in sex. He's too busy working and anyway he has ARMY to love him) yeah, but not now please.

But one day he could have a nice boyfriend who sits beside him on the sofa and smiles benignly and holds his hand like a good boy.

Definitely NOT one that sings about fucking night after night seven days a week, or watching in 3D, or DEAR GOD... the imagery... champagne confetti.

Not someone who sings Sam Smith songs on his Live, or who goes around whacking off fire hydrants in his music videos or miming blow jobs on national tv.

Not someone that demands you see him as an adult who enjoys adult things and wont accept your judgement of him. Not one who puts boundaries in place.

Not someone who (the audacity!) lies in bed naked and begs Jimin to come over.

And that brings us to the villain of our story:

JEON JUNGKOOK

I guess, since you will allow a relationship in theory, you just object to the idea of a relationship specifically with Jungkook.

And I can see why. Jungkook very obviously has no interest in Jimin’s happiness. Jungkook doesn't support him at all.

He doesn't hold jimin when he cries, he doesn't spam us with Jimin content when Jimin has a comeback, he doesn't cook Jimin’s favourite food for him, or fold his underpants while he does his own laundry.

He doesn't take him on trips to Japan, or send thirst-trap messages for his birthday, or play his songs, or sing on his albums.

He doesn't carry him, bridal style, any time Jimin jumps into his arms, and I can guarantee you that he doesn't let Jimin fuck him just the way Jimin likes it, as often as he wants it, wherever and whenever he gets the chance. And vice versa.

They didn't enlist in the military as companions, after all.

So reallly, what would Jungkook even know about Jimin's happiness?

What could he POSSIBLY know about Jimin that you don't know. Nothing, right?

What could POSSIBLY happen behind closed doors and away from the camera, that you don't see with your third eye and your vivid imagination? Again, nothing. You know ALL, right?

[Deselect.font=sarcasm]

I think we've covered everything?

Theres only one thing left to say i guess.

Whoever you are, you'd do well to consider whose happiness you're supporting.

If you don't support what makes Jimin happy, you don't support Jimin. Period.

[frozenmoonshine]

Headcanon - Hanma Shuuji as your boyfriend

Ok, I hate myself for writing this, 'cause I hate this bitch just as much as Pissaki, but I've been fighting my intrusive fluffy thoughts about him and they won, sooo here they are:

Beware of insinuated hetero relationship, f!reader, and common terms of endearment.

He's a flirt, definitely. He knows he gets lots of attention from the fairer sex simply for being tall and good looking, but he also loves the fact that he's a smooth talker and can get pretty much any girl to fall for him. And he's not better than doing just that, simply because he needs some amusement in his life. Talk about being a piece of shit, going around breaking hearts for fun.

‌However, if he genuinely falls for someone, he basically does a 180⁰ turn and is the most loyal lover you could get! He will, most definitely and undeniably, try to make his SO jealous by casually flirting left and right, just because he can, and he enjoys seeing your frustrated, annoyed, jealous face. However, if you get jealous or hurt for real, he will genuinely freak out, and will try his best to reassure you that he loves you and that he was just messing with you. You are the only one for him, after all, his safe haven and his light! If he realizes that he stepped overboard with his "jokes", he will change his behaviour immediately. Idk why, but he just gives me the vibe of someone who perfectly understands boundaries, and he will choose to honor his commitments.

‌He himself is not jealous at all, and no matter what you may do, he wouldn't get jealous. The bastard is just so cocky and aware of his desirability (even tho he overestimates himself quite a lot), it's unnerving! But unless he straight up catches you "red handed" with another guy, he won't be jealous in the slightest. And if that happens, if you do cheat on him, then he might just beat your side piece to a pulp, and walk out on you like you never even existed. He will be heartbroken about it for a long time, tho.

‌Don't do him dirty, even as annoying and flawed as he is, he is still worth it! He can be super loving and affectionate in private, and he will be your no. 1 cheerleader, in whatever you're aspiring to achieve. Tell him all about your adventures tho, he loves a good story!

‌He gets too easily bored, so he would fall head over heels for someone who can engage him in deep and interesting conversations, and be a bit of a tease as well, just enough to always keep him on the edge of his seat, but not to overdo it. After all, he is the tease one in the relationship, and he doesn't like the idea of giving up that title.

‌Speaking of him being a tease... yes, he's absolutely insufferable! In every sense. (Yes, that too!)

‌Dates with him are always so random and spontaneous, like, he'd take you on a bike ride to the beach at 3 AM, and you'd make sand castles in the dead of the night, just because. It's totally not because he's secretly a hopeless romantic and wanted to watch the sunrise with you, btw. Or he might get you out of your school/work just to take you to the rooftop of the highest building in his neighborhood, where you guys can throw water baloons on the passers-by down there, and photograph their reactions. Or you two would be in a middle of a rollercoaster ride and he'd scream into your ear: "Babe, let's go have a picnic in the woods, this ride is boring!" The worst best part - his idea of a "picnic" is pranking hikers by making weird noises. At least one thing is for sure with him - there is never a single dull moment!

‌But even as the chaos elemental that he is, he is actually looking for (inner) peace. He would want to feel safe and taken care of in a relationship, and I can picture him falling for his childhood friend. If not that, then he'd definitely go for the cozy, domestic, girl-next-door type. Despite what he shows to the outer world, he just craves familiarity and warmth.

‌His friend-turned-girlfriend definitely calls him Shuu-chan. He pretends it annoys him, but there's nothing he loves hearing more. And I will die on that hill if need be!

[factual-fantasy]

28 Asks! Thank you! :}} 🧜‍♀️

Nope. That's not me. I don't have a tiktok. :/

Remember folks! Like my pinned post says, if you find my artwork anywhere else other than here? Its stolen 100% of the time!

@cat7890

I don't understand what you're asking... <:0

My only opinion is that the eyes are really spooky looking <XDD

@spacewitchgardevoir

Thank you so much!! :DD Unfortunately I haven't thought much of that through yet.. I only have vague ideas so far. Like how the slimes in The Wilds will be hisuian pokemon for example. I plan to work more on the slimes soon! <XDD

@sora-the-air-wubbox (Oh hey! I know of wubboxes! :D )

I have not actually.. are those the roblox guys..? <:0

@an-aspiring-jester

Awe! Thank you!! :DDD I'll have to think of who to pass this to next! :00

AAAA THANK YOU!! :DD I haven't played the slime Rancher 2 demo but I still want to play it when the full game comes out! :))

(PLA inspired comic in question)

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Having my artwork compared to the beautiful works of studio Ghibili is such an honor!! 😭😭💞💞💞

And speaking of a continuation.. I actually finished drawing a short comic last night about Ingo and Emmet's reunion. It was all done and ready to post... but then I changed my mind. The quality of the comic was much lower than the PLA comic I just did. No backgrounds, rushed line art.. uninspired house design.. eh. I just wasn't satisfied.

I still plan to post a reunion comic mind you! I just want to put more heart into it and try drawing it again- <XDD

@blbllblblblll

A tempting offer I must say, but I'm still on break from the Octonauts fandom!.. <XD

@neo-metalscottic

Thank you!! :DDD And my favorite slime is the puddle slime.. 🥺💞 and my fave largo has gotta be the Mosaic x phosphor, but specifically the secret style pack version XDD

Now for Boom Boom and Pom Pom.. that's a good question.. I haven't really thought about them :00 I supposed they can be some higher ranking soldiers of some kind! (Also my Koopa Kingdoms has more primitive technology than in cannon <XD. Although they get quite a boost thanks to magikoopas.👀👀)

Also the super ball flower creates some interesting ideas.. maybe it could be a flower that allows Mario and Luigi to turn things into metal? But why would it be a flower.. hmm.. I think I'll have to do a lot of retconning If I wants to add this flower to my AU <XDD

Also thank you for the ask! Always appreciated :)))

@fizzy-stars

XDD Who knows? Maybe they are!

@wolfie-777

XDD Cant say I'll make a comic series for them, but if I did it would totally be like that! Mostly Dink being high energy and annoying the sleepy Doink XDD

So far my intentions are that they don't have a trainer :00

YOU ARE GIVING ME SOOO MANY ANGST IDEAS 👀👀👀

WAAAAAATHANKOTUUUU!!!! 😭💞💞💞💞

@gamesperger

You'd be surprised how often I get told that <XDD

@anikakitty11

AWWW I LOVE LUCAS!!! 😭😭💞💞💞

@samcat2

Draw something for me?.. weeell.... I do love Dusknoir... 🥺🥺👀👀👀

@yourstrulylightstar283

Not sick again, its the same unknown medical problem I've been dealing with for almost a year now.. 😔😔😔Thank you though, I'm doing my best to stay calm and take it easy <:}}}

Hi Timothy! I am afraid :D

His eyes always make me laugh <XDD

I have not.. though it looks good, maybe I should give it a watch! :00

(Furby Grimace)

Oh he's fine. He's just coming to grips with his own mortality that's all <XD

@red1sg0n3

:DD THANK YOUU!! :)))))

@justanintrovertedweirdo

WAAAHHGGGTHTHANK YOUUU SO MUCHH!!!!! 😭😭💞💞💞💞

And I'm so glad you feel the same way about the whole romantic love thing!! Sure they're great an all.. but I feel like the only kinds of relationships I see I fandoms are romantic ships..

Where are all the brotherhood comics? Characters motivated by a deep love for each other but its platonic and not romantic? I have so much more fun experimenting with those kinds of stories!

@cherrycreamfairy

:DDD Thank you! I'm glad to see Jangles getting some love! 🥰🥰

@kirshimadenkisero

XDD Go for it!

I know this was probably a drawing suggestion, but since they're closed now I'll answer it as a question....😅

My favorite legendary is a tough pick.. I love a lot of them.. 🥺💞💞but man, its hard to beat Xerneas. My favorite shiny is also a hard pick.. Its gonna have to be shiny Giratina. With shiny Rayquaza and shiny primal Kyogre as honorable mentions XDD

I know you didn't say this but I'll put it in there anyways XDD My favorite sub-legendary is Suicune. But my favorite shiny out of the sub-legendaries is actually Chi-Yu.. 👀👀

My favorite mythical Pokémon is Celebi , and my favorite shiny mythical is also Celebi. XDD I love that littol onion,,🥺💞💞💞

[avelera]

So this is a bit random but:

Dream as the hero in a Greek tragedy and Hob as an Arthurian knight.

Thoughts?

(You obviously don’t have to answer if this is stupid or you don't want to)

If I may riff a bit on this, since I don't exactly have a pre-made answer (it's not a line of inquiry I've really considered), I'd say this:

Dream is absolutely a Greek tragedy protagonist. He thinks of himself that way, he's written that way. A major, indeed central, characteristic of Greek tragic heroes is that their virtues in some situations become their ultimate downfall. No one is dying in a Greek tragedy because they're inherently bad or failed people. It is the essence of that Picard line, "It's possible to do everything right and still lose. That's not failure, that's life."

Dream's dedication to his duty is an incredibly familiar virtue for a Greek tragic figure. It is also the virtue that will lead to his eventual end (in this incarnation). At least, in the comic. We'll see in the show if that's the case, and I have my suspicions based on the story's structure that we'll be seeing some deviation or, at the very least, a more optimistic spin on Dream's end.

Neil certainly wrote Dream to be a figure from a Greek Tragedy too, ironic considering he's also the "deus ex machina" in other situations, being literally a creature of godlike (or superior) power.

As for Hob as an Arthurian figure.... I'm less convinced. And I have a lot of reasons why because I think a lot about Hob's relationship, or lack thereof, with the tropes of knighthood as explored in both canon and fanon.

Let me quickly say that for fanon, sure, absolutely. I've seen incredible, complex, lovely takes on Hob as a Questing Knight or suffering the throes of textbook courtly love (more on that in a second, because I do find that part at least plausible) or otherwise being a gallant and heroic figure.

However, this is fanon. Canon Hob is certainly made more romantic, and I mean much more romantic by the show with the whole missed 1989 meeting and Ferdie's inherent and overwhelming charm. But comic Hob is... hmm, let's say he also has his charm but he's deliberately quite rough, quite crass, more than a bit dim at times, and the furthest thing from protagonist let alone romantic hero material. I think comic Hob would laugh, perhaps a bit wistfully, at the very idea of being an Arthurian figure. Certainly the Hob of "Sunday Mournings" (the Ren Faire comic issue) would be outright derisive of the notion of himself as a romantic figure or a questing knight.

Hob bought his knighthood. I think it's something that bears remembering: he bought it.

(Let me very briefly aside say, as a grubby Yankee myself, I actually find his audacity and sort of "Ha! I got away with it!" humor in that moment incredibly charming. Fuck yeah, stick it to the nobility! Fuck aristocracy, fuck nobility, and fuck aristocratic mythology like Arthuriana that reinforces those power structures. Good for Hob being a peasant who bought his knighthood, something that would be all but unthinkable in the grand sweep of Arthuriana, which for all its romanticism is still pretty definitive about everyone belonging in their social place.)

Anyway, Hob bought his knighthood with money he made getting into early English shipping and with money made from being on the right side of Henry VIII dissolving the monasteries (which were corrupt but were also one of the only forms of social services available to common people at the time, it's an incredibly complex issue) and Hob is as unbothered by the moral quandaries of this as he was the moral quandaries of being a soldier or a bandit. Hob is the furthest thing from being a Galahad. I'm not sure he could even aspire to Lancelot at his lowest on Hob's very best of days. He's just not built like that that we see.

At least, until 1989.

Now, as I've noted elsewhere, Hob's story is fundamentally altered by this ever so minor change in the show of making him still in England in 2022, still presumably waiting for Dream about a block away from the White Horse! Now, this is some courtly love shit right there! My jaw dropped when I began to map out the implications, not just of his waiting but of his becoming a history teacher.

Comic Hob never became a history teacher. Comic Hob seems all but allergic to romanticism and nostalgia. Comic Hob's highest moment of romanticism is wondering what exists in the depths of the ocean and thinking that maybe reincarnation possibly exists.

1989 changes everything. Actually, we even have evidence that in the comic timeline, Hob wasn't even in England by, what, 1992 when Dream passes away? He's in America with Gwen and they've been dating for a bit when she takes him to the Ren Faire, which is the day after Dream died. This implies that Hob doesn't usually stick around England like he does in the show timeline. If that wasn't already clear from the fact that most of his professions throughout the glimpses we see seem to involve maritime trade (sometimes of the very worst sort). The guy is constantly on the move but he stayed in England for Dream for over 30 years.

So there, at least, I think we have the first tendrils of something for fandom to grip onto that Hob does have the potential within him to go on a 30 year quest for his lost love, which is very Arthurian. I think even Hob would be perhaps shocked at himself for this, perhaps alongside becoming a history professor, finally coming to grips perhaps with the history he's seen, learning to care about it, learning that there's more to himself than he thought.

Because Hob is a weird immortal. He doesn't do the things we expect immortals to do, like learn from his mistakes and become some sort of avenging superhero, or even accumulate enough money to not need to have a day job any more, to just utterly detached from normal human life. Instead, he seems to stay grounded in a normal middle class life for whatever era he's in (barring disaster or windfall) and just happen to stick at it longer than anyone else by virtue of his immortality. It's so bizarre in the most fascinating way, it's why I'm obsessed with him, because he stays so grounded in his time period and not in any sort of special superhero way.

But 1989 really brings into sharp relief that there is an element of courtly love to how he interacts with Dream, the Beatrice to his Dante, this figure who inspires him, whom he waits for, whom he changes for (even when Dream himself perhaps doesn't believe himself capable of change?).

There I think there's something to the notion of Hob as, perhaps, a budding figure of courtly love, if not full Arthuriana knighthood.

But more intriguing and, if I may presume, what I think you're perhaps getting at with all of this is: could Hob's Questing Knight perhaps in some way disrupt Dream's Greek Tragic fate?

Well, it's not really possible in either of those genres played straight but, in the original canon, Hob didn't wait 33 years for Dream to come home to him.

So really, in the most optimistic way I'd say, anything is possible.

[aspecmemesdaily]

bro weird stuff has been happening to me lately. so I’ve known I was ace for a year now and that’s still going strong but also I never like. thought about romance like other girls did and never thought about a wedding. I never want a boyfriend and the idea of getting married scares me. and I wanted kids but I thought babies were ugly, and never thought about who their dad would be or anything. but like over the last year I

Really love babies and little kids, and now am miraculously really good with kids. I changed my major to education and finally found my calling (elementary librarian)

when I watched the pilot of fallout and I saw her wedding dress (I love that style soooo much) something clicked in my head and suddenly I started making little plans for my future wedding

it’s still hard for me to imagine a specific person as my husband but I realized I want that best friend for life thing. (my brother and his wife were kind of the turning point on this one because they just have so much fun and love each other so much. I realized it’s a different love than what I’d ever wanted before and now I really want that for myself?!?)

I still don’t really want to date anyone but I am feeling more open because the idea of finding someone who I love is just so exciting to me nowadays.

this is just all weird for me because my lack of interest in these things were a big part in what convinced me to look into asexuality and aromanticism and It’s so weird to lose that aspect of it but still feel no sexual attraction. I’m still me, but I’m growing into another version of myself and it’s so strange but wonderful and scary. idk growing older is weird when big opinions and feelings shift from what they’ve always been.

Thank you for sharing this, @jack1701.

I cannot give you a definite answer as your experiences and feelings are unique and only you can label yourself or choose not to label yourself at all. You don't have to fit into a specific box and I am not in a position to assign you a certain label, but I'd like to mention a few things that you might want to take into closer consideration if you so desire (The following points are just my opinion and may not be accurate!):

QPRs: Queerplatonic relationships are relationships that go "beyond" traditional notions of friendship, but don’t necessarily fit into the category of a typical romantic relationship. They can be a way to have that deep, lifelong partnership you’re envisioning without the pressure to conform to conventional romantic or sexual expectations. QPRs are quite common for partnering aspec people to be in. There is no set definition for a QPR and its boundaries—you and your queerplatonic partner (QPP) decide individually what you want to do or not do (e.g. hug, cuddle, kiss, live together, raise a child, pay taxes, idk??) and what you want to call each other (e.g. partner, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, idiot, shnookums??, whatever...), etc.

Cupioromantic: This label falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, but still desires a romantic relationship (regardless of whether they are in one, aspire to be in one, or not).

Aegoromantic: This label also falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who enjoys the idea of romance or romantic fantasies but doesn’t desire a romantic relationship for themselves. You may think of it as a disconnection between oneself and one's romantic fantasies. It's explained quite well here, I think.

Other arospec identities such as demiromantic (only experiencing romantic attraction after a deep emotional connection has been developed) or greyromantic/grayromantic (experiencing romantic attraction rarely or only under specific circumstances).

But you don't have to label yourself just now or ever, and no label is permanent. Just keep being yourself and do what feels good for you.

All the best!

[arotechno]

the way the aro community talks about attraction is inadequate

Disclaimer: The following is in no way intended to invalidate, shame, or "call out" anyone for using whatever language or terminology they see fit to describe their own experiences. This is about community-wide trends and pressures, rather than individual choices.

As an aroace, I've never felt a particular desire to label other types of attraction I may or may not feel. Identifying as aroace is a way for me to express my disconnect with what society at large views as healthy, normal, valuable, and aspirational; that is, a committed, monogamous, sexual and romantic relationship. I don't want those things. I'm not able to even understand them. But by and large, beyond that, I don't find the framework of different types of attraction very useful at all.

This is the fatal flaw of the split-attraction model in its most advanced form: it's predicated on the idea that there are distinct types of attraction that can be qualified and quantified in neat and tidy boxes. Just as there are people for whom romantic and sexual attraction cannot be separated, there are many (like myself) for whom the very concept of attraction breaks down more and more the more you try to categorize it.

Here's the thing: relationships (of any kind) aren't inherently predicated on attraction, just as they aren't necessarily predicated on love. We can understand, as a community, why an aro person might have a successful romantic relationship despite not feeling romantic attraction, or why an ace person might enjoy engaging in sex even if they are not sexually attracted to their partner. Attraction does not equal action. So why, then, must we make the assumption that everyone must categorize their feelings in terms of attraction at all? This is how we end up with terms like queerplatonic attraction, which warps the original definition of queerplatonic such that a QPR becomes something predicated on a separate kind of attraction that is more unique and special than "regular" platonic feelings, rather than being a broad type of non-romantic relationship that is deliberately built and developed by the people in it based on their own personal needs and desires, and not necessarily based on some ephemeral type of attraction.

This sort of trend towards hyper-categorization is extremely frustrating to someone like me, who doesn't view their relationships or their feelings for others in terms of attraction at all. I'm not platonically "attracted" to my friends, I don't think. I love them platonically (deeply, unconditionally, almost like family), but naming it as attraction makes me almost uncomfortable. Others may not feel that way and that's fine. It's no skin off my nose how people choose to talk about their own feelings. But the implicit expectation in a lot of aro spaces is that you will label your attraction, your feelings, your experiences, your desires, your orientations according to such-and-such paradigms, as if we can wordsmith our way out of simply understanding one another. As if the diversity of aromantic experiences were something we need to break down and quantify.

All of these things are socially constructed. Sex, romance, love, relationships, attraction. That doesn't make them not real, but they are not divinely granted concepts with their own inherent, easy-to-understand taxonomy. We make up the language necessary to describe complex and diverse human experiences as best we can, because it's the only way. But what is absolutely crucial to remember, as a crucial tenet of aro activism and beyond, is that none of these models work for every single person, and needn't be prescriptive.

[astrojulia]

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DISCLAIMER. These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose. I may have missed a he/she instead of them in the translation.IF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT SOULMATE YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING ABOUT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS PAC

How to pick a pile

The pick a pile order is Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3. When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise!

Pile 1 - My Melody

(Four of Pentacles - Ace of Swords - The Watery)

You've already met your soulmate, and it's that person to whom you've had a strong emotional attachment since the first day you met. (There's an additional message here for many in this context: a soulmate is not necessarily someone with whom you have a romantic/sexual relationship). This person is someone you want to protect and share your new ideas with, as well as talk about your achievements and victories. You may also have fights and arguments with them for seemingly 'no reason,' and as a result, you end up getting hurt a lot and sometimes feel resentful about continuing to communicate with this person. However, soon after, they come back to talk again (to be honest, it's reminiscent of a relationship between brothers). So, yes, you've already found your soulmate, and they are a person who is still in your life.

Pile 2 - Cinnamoroll

(Five of Swords - The Star - The Maze)

You don't know your soulmate, and without a spiritual connection, it will be difficult for you to meet them. Yes, it sounds tragic and hopeless, something you don't want to hear, but for you to meet your soulmate, you need to pray to your god, deity, higher self, or the universe, so that a higher power can help you connect with your soulmate. The path between the two of you is tangled up, as if you really weren't meant to meet. Remember that a soulmate is literally your other half; it is not necessarily the great love of your life. Sometimes, it can be someone like your neighbor. I say this because I know that you came after a love and romance reading, so don't worry, your soulmate is not synonymous with your future spouse. So, I repeat once again, if you want to meet your soulmate, even if they are not your future husband or wife, resort to prayers and spells to seek a hand of spirituality.

Pile 3 - Hello Kitty

(The Well - Nine of Cups - The Sleep)

Your soulmate is someone you are destined to meet, but it will take you a long time to find them. Until you meet, you will develop many qualities such as humility, kindness, and empathy. You will become a much better person and, most likely, much older than you are today when you finally encounter your soulmate. I might even go so far as to say that you will already have had your first white hair by that time (don't worry, I had my first white hair when I was 20). In short, there are still things you need to do before you can meet your soulmate. It's important to deepen your understanding of yourself, create meaningful connections with others, and nurture your spirituality. Strive to be the best version of yourself, not in the typical inspirational coach talk kind of way, but in a way that you know in your heart that you are being true to your values and aspirations. When you do meet your soulmate, you'll recognize that you are already being your best self.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[flusteredmoonn]

all of the girls you've loved before

summary: "but i love you more," in which the song provides insight into how their previous experiences with love have shaped the way they are in a relationship.

tags: (SFW), fluff, drabble?, headcanons?, slightly canon divergent, mentions of abuse; no descriptions, ooc!marauders, afab!reader, x reader.

words: 1.0k+

discography. request.

james potter

james grew up surrounded by love, particularly from his parents. for him, this was a fundamental part in shaping the way he views romantic love, and the way he approaches romance through the duration of his time at hogwarts. the boy was so loved growing up that he doesn't quite understand when his friends don't experience the same thing or feel the same way towards love, at first, but then quickly comes to the realisation that he can step into the roll his parents served in loving him as he grew up. this makes him fill in the emotional roll of a parent within his friend group, which is why he becomes so full on toward lily in their second year.

he becomes persistent in his want to impress her and have her validation. in his second year of schooling, she teaches him to validate himself, even if that lesson came from her lack of attention toward him and her friendship with severus snape.

however, over the course of the next four years, for better or for worse, he wore lily down, eventually getting into a relationship with her. their relationship was the definition of healthy, until it wasn't. in the beginning, they were inseparable, they could be mistaken for almost the same person. though that was very quick to fade out as the intensity of their final exams began to weigh on them.

this breakup hit him hard, because of the idea of her he had in his head for almost the entirety of his schooling. he was forced to let that go, and so he grieved the relationship and his attachment to her. though, she did teach him lots about love, and the importance of communication in relationships, especially romantically, which he carried later into his life. this is why his next relationship is probably one of the healthiest relationships that anyone around him had ever seen.

sirius black

on the entirely opposite end of the spectrum, sirius never had a good role model of a relationship in his youth. his parents' marriage was one of convenience, it was loveless, which was expected because they were cousins. as a child, it was the kind of relationship he expected to find himself in when he became an adult. he expected to be married off, probably to one of his cousins, before he had even finished his schooling at hogwarts.

he hated the idea of being in a relationship just like his parents' one. they seemed to loathe each other, but because of their allegiance to voldemort, they had to constantly be in each other's corner. they had taken their indifference and dislike for one another out on both sirius and regulus, which was formative to their perception of a healthy relationship. though, this was until sirius had met james, and then had met his parents. his world was flipped upside down, his perception of what love looked like was completely changed.

so, in his aspiration for rebellion, he had decided to become a heartbreaker. and he did. part of him felt bad about the girl's he had lead on. but he knew it made his parents upset. he absolutely didn't, he just hoped when he returned during half term that he had reeked of mischief. although, he was changed when he had his first serious something with mary macdonald. she had taught him to be patient, and that not all relationships are as upsetting and distressing as his parents. that love can be something exciting and that is isn't meant to be heart wrenching.

unfortunately, as the war began to rage on, they were dawn apart. the order's agenda was rigorous, they were more frequently than not sent on opposing missions, especially because sirius was promised to voldemort by his parents, and eventually it drove them apart. and he descended into madness, suddenly he had no one he could trust. trust had become so important to him, but when he loves next, he loves ten times as hard. because he doesn't want to feel so alone again.

remus lupin

similarly to sirius, remus never had a solid example of what a healthy relationship looked like. especially not with his condition. and as a result of this, his relationship with his parents was strained, to say the least. though he never outwardly said it, from a young age, remus had known that his father feared him. he grew up surrounded by people in relationships, but none of them seemed truly happy. and he could feel the contempt both of his parents had for him, of course, his mother did love him, before the attack, and he held on to that, it's what got him through his years prior to hogwarts.

at hogwarts, this boy was very quickly loved, and frankly adored, by those around him. particularly, from james and sirius, these two boys showed remus, for the first time in a long time, what it was to be loved. and he cherished the feeling that the knowledge provided. they had taught him how to be a regular kid, a revealing revelation for remus. james and sirius taught remus the joy of causing mischief, how he felt like a normal kid after watching his friends at quidditch practice, and then they'd play fight and roll through the mud.

romantically, this boy had only observed that sort of love. he saw the admiration in his friend's eyes when someone they fancied walked past, or the hushed whispers of some of the girl's in the common room gushing over which boys they found the most attractive. he knew that love was delicate, but ultimately, in a romantic sense, he never had someone to directly show him how to feel it. though, he supposed it wasn't all that different to the love he felt for his friends, or when he thought he fancied one of his classmates.

this man loves in such a wise, and committed sense. truly beyond his years with how mature of a relationship he desires, and in the way he loves.

[saintsenara]

i remember someone say a hc about Eileen and Tom going at Hogwarts at the same time (not in the same year tho) and i got the thought of a possible relationship between not strictly romantic tho, just something that left a mark in both. What do you think?

thank you very much for the ask, @midnight1404!

once i stopped singing "tom and eileen" to the tune of come on, eileen, i decided to settle on the idea of this... partially flopping.

that the two might have been at hogwarts at the same time is completely plausible - although i do prefer the idea of eileen as marrying tobias and having severus when she's very young, since i think it adds something to the sadness of her story for her to end up trapped in such a horrible situation with her whole life stretching before her, which means i tend to imagine her being around fifteen or so years younger than voldemort - but i think that, if they were, eileen would never have been someone who tom paid attention to.

i've said elsewhere that i've never gone in for the fanon that eileen comes from an elite pureblood background [the only person who ever suggests she does is harry, who has absolutely no evidence other than it being something he reckons].

this isn't just because i find the idea that all purebloods are swaggering aristocrats tiresome, but because i think it's more interesting to imagine her as being raised adjacent to a working-class muggle area, having loved tobias since childhood, and then having discovered as an adult that his childhood fascination with her magic turned into resentment and violence as he lost his work and turned to drink.

[and i also actually think that severus snape's canonical relationship to his own social class makes much more sense if we imagine it belonging to a boy who comes from several generations of aspirational-working- or lower-middle-class princes, who wants to both give the middle finger to the inbred toffs who surround him at school and have their social cachet and easy way of moving through the world.]

if we imagine eileen in this vein, then - certainly not as destitute as tom [her copy of advanced potion making was probably new, after all] but still from a background without wealth or influence - then she's going to be someone tom wouldn't give a solitary shit about because he couldn't use her for his own social advancement.

for her part - if she's anything like her son - she'd probably regard the teenage tom as a pretentious, social-climbing dickhead [i'm on the record that - for all severus likes and admires the adult voldemort - he'd loathe the young tom riddle].

but - with this said - she might also have her son's interest in magical invention and experimentation. and, since this desire to push and play with magic is clearly one of the things which leads voldemort to favour severus, why wouldn't he find it equally worthy of his attention in eileen?

i don't think it goes any real distance - eileen's too hung up on tobias; tom doesn't only surround himself with attractive male quidditch players for nefarious reasons - but i think a brief flicker of nostalgia does make its way through lord voldemort's atrophied soul when lucius malfoy informs him that he's found a young half-blood potions genius who's interested in becoming a death eater.

[lilflowerpot]

Hello flower! I hope you are safe and well. I have come to ask you a question how would the galra react to abusive relationships??

galra courting rituals | traditional galra courtship | platonic vs romantic | cheating | marriage | proposals | closing / rejecting a relationship

Though you didn't specify what type of relationship you were referencing, I got the vibe you meant romantic, so all the above are posts discussing that in particular. In terms of abuse, I think I've only focused upon that twice before: once in regard to child abuse, and once concerning domestic abuse in the Imperial Household, the latter of which I believe will be of the greater interest to you.

Essentially, Imperial culture surrounding intimate relationships is built upon the idea of proving yourself to be your partner’s compliment—someone who matches their strengths and counters their weaknesses—and they yours, forming a union that aspires to an equilibrium of humours. Every aspect of courtship is about proving yourself strong, capable, honourable,,, worthy. To abuse your partner (be that physically or emotionally) would undermine every aspect of that, and therefore be not only repugnant behaviour, but distinctly ingalran.

What with the galra being a strongly collectivist culture, it is considered their duty to care for one another as fellow citizens; to mistreat someone you don't know would be outrageous enough, but to be consistently, maliciously, and systematically abusing someone you supposedly "love"??? There would be legal ramifications, naturally, but in extreme cases the perpetrator maybe even be disowned by their bloodline (as detailed in my post on child abuse), being declared Liir tron cu Aaskh and having their right to claim any blood-name other than “Cuaaskhli” revoked, thus branding them a soulless disgrace and social pariah for the rest of time.

[wraithdance]

The more I learn about the aro/ace spectrum, the more I think that everyone's definition of In Love can be a little different (even if there's one definition that seems to really be pushed by society).

I feel like I'm a person that has a lot of love for people in general, like I do feel like it's limitless almost (Have I been googling poly info more? Maybe...). The main constraints on love for me are time and my own energy levels lol

Whether it's a platonic or romantic relationship, the way I express love is very similar. But for me being In Love comes with feelings of passion/sexual desire, so like the standard/traditional model. I have friends that I love deeply, but I don't want to have sex with them. Which if you're on the aro/ace spectrum that probably seems conflicting/impossible (not the words I'm looking for but I can't think of the right one).

I think the traditional idea of being In Love feels very tied to the idea of romance. So if you're aro you probably feel very othered/left out. But I think that just means your relationships wouldn't fit in the tiny box society wants it to. Like whatever makes you happy is what's important and finding people who are compatible with your idea of happiness. Bc relationships are not just about the individual. I can believe I'm In Love with someone, but that does not mean they have to express the same feelings back.

I also learned about the different greek words for love in college and i think that helped me understand things a little better, english can be so limiting lol. Eros I guess seems the most close to what In Love feels like for me, but Philia is how I see loving in general.

Not sure if this helps, just my take on how I feel. I'm curious about aro/ace people describing their thoughts.

Hi my love thank you for answering my question!! I agree with everything you said.

Gonna ramble under the cut per usual so lmao you can skip if you don’t want the Calvary lore deep cut edition you can skip lmao!

Yes omg so realizing I may be aro/ace (from Voids SDJ fic of all things 💀) has been such an interesting and strange experience. Like I’ve known since 5 years old that I liked girls but I’ve always had to force myself to have crushes like my friends because I’d get ragged on if I didn’t

Literally my first fight was when my bully tried to get me to tell her what boy I liked in school and I was literally standing there like… well miss girl I have news for you… she beat me up and I was so mad because I’m like girl???

I’ve NEVER thought about marriage ever. I’ve thought about kids and a career but the idea of marriage has never been aspirational for me. I know for sure I’m a one person at a time partner and if I did get into a relationship I would want that to be a standard but I can’t get a relationship when I can’t understand what people be talking bout when they say they’re ‘in love’ 💀 wtff does that mean lmao.

It’s the same thing with sex for me. I don’t naturally feel sexual attraction to a person unless there’s a power dynamic I’m involved in or I know/trust them so that’s been weird to navigate because people find me hot and assume I wanna smash but anywho! Rambling!

But yeah I asked because I didn’t wanna feel like I was faking being Aromantic but I’m now convinced more than ever I am lmaooo

[evermourning]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 - kim seungmin

pairing: kim seungmin x reader (bewitched series pt. 4)

genre: angst, hurt/no comfort, non!idol au

wc: 1.1k

warnings: not proofread AT ALL, language, hallucination, mentions of nausea/feelings of nausea, mentions of smoking, unrequited love, you may hate me for this

a/n: don't smoke kids!

when you ended your relationship with kim seungmin, your one true love, you made an unyielding oath that you would never give a shit about ex-boyfriends.

this became unfortunately impossible when every waking moment you were wallowing in your own guilt and self-despair, dreaming desperately about the love you once had. it was like seungmin had taken a paintbrush, and with long languid strokes, drowned every crevice, nook, and cranny of your brain with the memories of him.

even living in this town was unbearable, seeing him from afar laughing and smiling as if he was utterly unaffected by your tragic romance. you eventually decided to fly back to your hometown just to get away from him. you were lucky you could.

the entire flight, sailing tranquilly through deep blue skies where the stars were much more visible than the city lights, you sat there, engulfed in your own pitiful delusion.

we never did say goodbye, did we? it was more of a "see you soon", it had to be. no, kim seungmin is a terrible influence who will only make your life progressively worse. that's what he aspires to, after all. but what if he were to call me up? i don't know if he has me blocked, but i have him unblocked. you know, in case he ever decides he still needs me.

it was like an infectious cancer, slowly integrating itself into your system, this feeling of hurt and confusion and disarray. damn it, it really fucking hurt to have to just act like nothing happened. you were at your absolute weakest, but still had to act like you could carry the world on your back.

it hurt more that you were alone, without the boy who was your anchor in murky waters.

...

once you arrived in your hometown, you had this stupid idea that you would just wake up a new person, the memories of him simply wiped from your brain. however, every morning was just as painful as the last, the painful evocation of his being like a pure white tablecloth irreparably stained with the deep flushed burgundy of red wine.

for sixteen long days you fought unbearable urges to just grab your phone, calling him while sobbing profusely. for sixteen long days you laid awake at night, staring at the ceiling, too haunted by him to sleep peacefully. for sixteen long days you wondered if you were the problem.

you'd found methods to shut him out that were not as great as you hoped. you'd taken up smoking, much to your parents' dismay. you knew deep down it was a horrid decision that was most likely going to haunt you later, but you didn't care. after restraining yourself emotionally and mentally for so long, maybe a cigarette was what you needed. however, the nagging voice in your head painstakingly reminded you that to you, smoking was just like this boy you hopelessly loved: no matter how long you resisted and fought the temptation, you would always lose. a true trait of an embarrassing romantic, desperately caught in the silk threads of an ex-lover's web.

why couldn't you let go? seungmin had brought you nothing but trouble. every single time you even saw him, there was this feeling in your gut of all these emotions jumbled together. was it longing? was it hate? was it hurt? was it love? you tried and tried and tried to scrutinize said emotions under some sort of psychological microscope, but they always ended up in some colorless, misshapen blob.

in your head, you tried every situation possible. in the confines of your mind, where the only thing holding you together was your imagination and sheer delusion, you and seungmin lived happily ever after. but that was the confines of your mind, a fantasy inside a prison. in the real world, you and seungmin were a pair of star-crossed lovers, fated to love once and never again, swathed in tragedy.

it was in the back of your mind, what you could've been, would've been, two twin ghosts, staring blankly, their piercing ebony orbs drilling symmetrical holes into your skull.

and then, you saw the boy.

he started appearing everywhere, from various distances, always staring silently. no emotion was on his face other than pure, unbridled contempt. his stature and appearance were fucking identical to seungmin. yet he never talked. it was a reminder of your past.

the boy appeared again, and again, and again, and again, and again...and again.

you couldn't take it anymore. tears streamed down your cheeks, pooling on your linen sheets as you pulled out your phone to frantically dial in a number you had memorized to a t.

kim seungmin, your end and your beginning, your problem and your solution, picked up approximately after the third or fourth ring.

"hello? yn, is that you?" you took a deep breath, not even paying attention to how your hands had become unstable and shaky.

"yeah, it's me. how are you doing?" you asked, testing the waters. were they still choppy, filled with jagged rocks and sharks? or had they become more moderate and mild during this horrid separation?

"i'm good. you know, i saw that you called me, and i wasn't even nervous or anything. this time away from you really helped me heal. i guess we just weren't right for each other." the words were like a spear, impaling your guts as they spewed everywhere.

"really?" you asked, your volume significantly lower as you recovered from the shock. you fumbled around in your bag for a cigarette and your lighter, desperate for some comfort.

"yeah, haha." a higher, feminine voice could be heard saying something unintelligible to seungmin on the other side of the phone. "oh, shit...i gotta go. my girlfriend needs me. i'll see you around, okay? i noticed i haven't seen you in like two weeks, which is unusual. bye, now."

and then he hung up.

he hung up, leaving you dumbfounded, sitting on your bed with an unlit cigarette. that was when the overwhelming wave of nausea came, and you rushed to the bathroom.

for sixteen long days, pieces of the person you once knew yourself as withered away and crumbled to dust. and in those very same sixteen days, which each felt like an entire timeline, seungmin completely moved on, unaffected, and found himself a replacement.

you really shouldn't have called. you wouldn't have.

but you broke your promise. and unbeknownst to you, that was the very first domino. it would fall and fall and fall until you had single-handedly ruined your own life.

isn't that just fucking pathetic?

...

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