#intracommunity

[baeddelilluminati]

theyfab isn't a slur, people, its an intracomminity term thats use is disputed wrt its usefulness in describing people/trends and types of people transfeminine people get their lives ruined by

[arugula2048]

ik you prob wrote abt this ages ago but I wanted to say I appreciate your additions abt the 'almond mom' discussion. I saw it came from a child model almost fainting and the mother advising her to eat a couple of almonds chewed very slowly. So literally from eating disoreded mom harming and abusing child by purposefully malnourishing them. Ofc over time ppl posted more ambiguous things but what if the er mom was asked to comfort the child and 'did her steps' imstead? Or the mom eating salad (1/2

2/2 and the family eating heavier meals. Oftentimes the mom is visibly upset with the children so maybe they are 'breaking the cycle' by eating satisfying food after being told not to for many years? Like I agree we must not forget ppl acting 'strange' w food incl moms are victims of society which promotes disordered eating. But to actively push that on your child is cruel. And many ppl are not mentioning how strange their mom is but rather how it results in treating them, shamimg, policing them

I feel you, I could understand if the 'pacing bc she's worried and not ED' interpretation if it was one of many used in the analyses, but it irked me when so many bloggers just ran with that alone. Not very empathetic to the child, gyns, who in the post example was in the fucking ER, implying she wanted comfort but her mother prioritized her own body image instead... It's so funny (not funny) how they breezed past that part and was like "this bitter ungrateful child!! of course she's definitely lying about her mom to mock her"

It's an interesting analysis to focus fully and only on the 'almond mothers' in that post. But then to say that's the only way to see it and say that children are responsible for their mothers' healing is repulsive. I can't tell if that conclusion came from temporary tunnel vision, or if they never had a bad relationship with their mother, or if they no longer see themselves in the child now that they're adults, or if they're partly speaking from unresolved issues and believe that fixing their mothers will fix them too. They would've betrayed their younger selves just like their mothers did lol.

Not to mention, like you said, mothers are grown women and had decades to reflect on their experiences and illnesses to decide how they'd raise their daughters. As an adult and as a parent, they had that responsibility to step up for their children lol. The audacity of the ~approach your mother with a feminist mindset to break entire generational cycles of misogyny and EDs~ statement is unbelievable. To put that work on children? So the mothers shouldn't need to do anything? Why don't we start smaller with something kids can do?

I think that post got like that because of the whole "mother discourse" that had people acting as if someone said 'mothers should be officially recognized as a subhuman class' instead of 'I prioritize girls because they're the common denominator demographic of all women'. Cue the overcompensation and almost victim-blaming kids who were coached to get EDs. They seriously looked at a kid in the ER and blame her for her mom being fucked up, no one in that post contested that first reply. Yikes, but that's the internet, I guess.

Thank you for the message, I'm glad we felt seen by each other. Have a good day, anon!

[our-queer-experience]

i dont care about validity i care about my civil rights

[baeddelilluminati]

the transandro fraternity is a collection of loosely affiliated transmasculine supremacist clans that have a small intelligentsia whom are linked to online twef/terf propaganda organising;

its primary objective is to maintain the logic of biological essentialism within transmasculine discourse through the formation of a deceptive lexicon that retains membership ignorance (of its logical implications) through a mythologising of transfeminism, through a sort of double-think, as being terfism.

[nixisverytired]

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

[terminated-baeddel9]

gave up on the blog now that she's back or frustrated with the discourse or both?

hi feb 11th anon

yeah i did get kinda disillusioned with this blog but also jez came back to tumblr so i was like, what ever x2. but she's been terminated again. she wasnt stiring shit so i dont know why. i worry that people hold grudges against people for when they behave poorly while under immense levels of mental distress and then go out of their way to try fuck that person over, even if they've expressed remorse or apologised etc for their shitty behavior and haven't been repeating it

out community is so overzelous with punishment for any perceived transgressions or rudeness. we cannibalise eachother and its a fucking miserable state of affairs.

[aromichaelshelley]

can't say i love the aro community becoming increasingly hostile to aroaces, especially when a lot of us have already been alienated from the ace community for the exact same reason. i don't like the conflation of asexuality and aromanticism either, but some people seem to be getting reallll comfortable with casual acephobia. like. man just say you hate ace people, you're not special

[throesofincreasingwonder]

You know what? I want a whole post for this:

Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity

non-negotiable!

I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.

Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.

[crippled-peeper]

A harmless ‘opinion’ cannot be “depression is a chemical imbalance and nothing else.” Or “cerebral palsy is a neurodivergence” or “there’s no difference between mental or physical disabilities.”

These folks can totally have opinions — like Disco is great or Pink is a great color or that psychiatric institutionalization in its current form is inhumane— that’s not the issue. The issue is misleading others about terminology and science and calling it “disability activism.” … all they’re doing is worshipping their own hurt feelings while spreading misinfo at the expense of others

It’s tiring. I’m tired. we’re all tired

"Im disabled too why don't people listen to meeeee?"

Well, maybe it's because your opinion sucks and it's not something that's opinion based? Maybe the argument is fact based and you're just flat out wrong? Being disabled doesn't automatically make you right?

[starryroe]

The amount of times I've been told from a transmasc they try not to engage in a specific kink in online spaces out of fear of getting called out and harassed endlessly genuinely breaks my heart.

The amount of transmascs who like transfems I have talked to who have confided in me that they have actually so many harder kinks than they let on because they don't want to be wrongly accused of being transmisogynistic is staggering.

This is going on my main and idc I'm going to fully say it, the amount of trans guys I, a trans woman with a massive misogyny kink, had to convince that it was okay and allowed for them to reciprocate with enjoyment towards some of my kinks, is insanely high.

And it seems like no one cares. It seems like no one gives a shit when transmascs get harassed for kinks. Like don't get me wrong, many people don't give a shit for trans women that this happens to either. But it seems like people don't even think that it's a possibility that it could happen to other people.

No one should have their kinks examined and pulled apart and outed for the whole world to see. Everyone should be allowed to write whatever kind of smut and porn they want. And yet so many transmascs are scared, are terrified, of doing so.

And here I'll be honest, it hurts a little bit for selfish reasons as well- so many of these people could have been writing beautiful smut that I would have loved for years, but before meeting me they were too scared to even admit things to themselves. It's fucked y'all. Make trans people feel safe in exploring kink. Make any people in general safe.

[jewish-vents]

I have family in New York who are terrorized every single day by the Hamasniks from Columbia. I really don't think people who don't live there and don't have family there understand just how bad it really is. These people who everyone for some reason keeps calling "protestors" stalk Jews, scream slurs at them, try to storm synagogues, smash windows, assault people. One of them literally tried to snatch my cousin's baby out of her arms.

So all of you self-flagellating pick mes clutching your pearls about how people care too much about "some college kids protesting" need to shut the fuck up. You clearly have not been paying attention to what's actually happening there, or you're so steeped in internalized antisemitism that you think Jews in NY are lying about what they're being subjected to on a daily fucking basis.

"Oh but Trump isn't our friend and he's not doing this for the right reasons" shut the fuck up, you condescending assholes. We fucking know he doesn't care about Jews. Neither did Biden, but we all know damn well that if he'd done something about these fucking terrorist wannabes you wouldn't be nearly this upset about it. Because all this is to you is a game. You want your "team" to "win" more "points" and you will gladly sacrifice other Jews in order for that to happen. You are perfectly fine with Jews spending the next four years under constant threat. You would've been fine with it if that freak actually had kidnapped my cousin's kid and done g-d knows what to her as long as it meant the wrong political party couldn't have something they could try and spin as a win for themselves.

You all care more about nebulous ideas of "optics" than about actual people. That much is fucking clear. Go fuck yourselves, you absolute fucking shandes.

.

[gingerswagfreckles]

I thought other Jews understood that NYC has been in a state of absolute emergency (I mean smashed windows, building takeovers, pro Hamas graffiti on EVERY block, young people walking around in full Hamas gear, constant 24/7 pro Hamas protests with crowds chanting oh Hamas we love you and we love your rockets too, assaults, kidnappings, stabbings, murders) for 17 months straight and no one has done ANYTHING about it because they're so scared of the Hamas loving nuts that they're willing to completely abandon Jews. I thought we were on the same page about how the Manhattan DA dropping all charges against the pro Hamas mobs who took over Columbia for weeks and kidnapped a janitor is absurd? I thought we were on the same page that the Biden administration's response to the mass wave of antisemitic civil rights violations happening on college campuses nationwide was a joke? And we voted for him not because he did such a good job of protecting Jews from Hamas loving nuts but because he's better than Trump for ten million other reasons?

I thought we were on the same page about this!! Clearly I was wrong?? Or, maybe worse, people are now retroactively changing their opinion on the state of emergency for Jews in NYC specifically because they don't want Trump to get a political win out of it? And they'd rather Jews in NYC continue to get absolutely mobbed by antisemitic terrorist support every time we go outside than have the uncomfortable conversation about the fact that the Democratic party should have been cracking down on this a year and a half ago and didn't because they didn't want to lose the leftist antisemite vote, which they lost anyway?

What thee actual fuck lol!

[flowercrowncrip]

I feel like in the disabled community we all (or at least mostly all) know that when we hear things like “I’m sorry, we can’t have wheelchair users at this concert venue because you’re a health and safety/ fire risk” it’s lazy and it’s ableism. So why did I experience what to me feels like a form of this at Naidex (the UK’s largest disability event)?

One of the things that I was looking forward to when going to Naidex for the first time was trying out some of the fancy complex rehab power chairs. I was really hoping to try a chair that has the ability to “stand up”. Not so much because I wanted to buy one but because I haven’t been able to stand in almost a decade now and I just wanted to see what it would be like on my body. I also wanted to try some off road chairs, and a chair that was able to lie down flat because I think I’d benefit from one if I ever got the chance (and money) to use one.

So I went to a stand to ask if I could try one out and the wheelchair rep there said he was really sorry but the organisers had told him that he wasn’t allowed to let me because I transfer using a hoist because it was a “health and safety concern” and “prohibited by the events insurance”. Apparently they were being really strict about enforcing this.

Which made absolutely zero sense to me because there were at least four hoists in use at the expo. Three changing places toilets were fitted with ceiling hoists, and the adapted climbing wall had a mobile hoist which they used to lift me so they could fit the adapted harness under me in my chair.

The wheelchair rep also told me that they could assist with lateral transfers, which in my experience is probably more likely to result in a fall than a hoist transfer done correctly.

The only thing I can think of was that all the other hoists were being used in sectioned off areas like toilets, or the climbing area which had a fence around. The only possible risk I would be slightly concerned about was someone walking into the hoist mid transfer. But if that’s the case, why not have a designated sectioned off hoisting area where that’s not going to happen? And why would you not be concerned about the same thing happening with a lateral transfer?

The wheelchair rep I spoke to was really apologetic and couldn’t understand it either. He said that his company was insured, trained and had the equipment needed to hoist people, and that a lateral transfer carried most of the same risks.

It felt really unfair because so much of the marketing for the event was around getting to try a variety of complex rehab powerchairs, and they really leaned into the high tech, futuristic appearance of these chairs. But a huge percentage of the people who would most benefit from these chairs couldn’t use them because we weren’t allowed to be hoisted “for insurance reasons”.

Again, this was an event where I was hoisted into a full body climbing harness before being winched up an entire climbing wall. But somehow they couldn’t find a way for me to be hoisted into a wheelchair like I am several times a day.

Overall the event was brilliant and I got so much out of it. It just left a really bad taste in my mouth that the aesthetics of the equipment used and needed by severely disabled people was used so heavily in the marketing, but we weren’t given equal access to actually trying it out.

[a-polite-melody]

“I wish transandrophobia discussions were more focused on external stuff as opposed to being so focused on intracommunity harm.”

I kinda wish the same as well.

Unfortunately when there’s a movement from inside the trans community to shut up the discussion, a lot of the discussion of broader issues get sidelined by intracommunity issues not because the people speaking about the movement don’t care about the societal aspects, but because it’s damn near impossible to speak about those societal issues when people from within the trans community start denying your experiences when you try to talk about them, and so the focus needs to be somewhat taken up by addressing that intracommunity stuff.

[caffeineandsociety]

All the bullshit queer infighting about queer subgroup a refusing to be normal about queer subgroup b, or no it's b that can't be normal about a, or no it's both of them refusing to be normal about subgroup c-

And I feel it's time to recognize that the problem has less to do with specific identities and more to do with people refusing to be normal about queer people other than themselves

Yes someone who's like this will usually be slightly more normal about someone whose queer identity is more similar to their own than not, but I have never seen, for example, an explicitly transmisogynistic trans man who wouldn't jump to throw another trans man under the bus for "making us all look bad" at the first viable excuse, and we all know how big overt exclusionist movements like terfism end up just aggressively policing the ingroup to make sure they never, ever, ever deviate from a perfect True Scotsman

It's self-centered bullshit is what it all is and I think it deserves to be seen for that