#I don’t want a relationship bc I’m p hung up on my ex in that regard

[mccoyquialisms]

trying to come up with a non-creepy way to convey to people “Hello, I am new to this whole possibly-being-queer thing and don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I know I’m old as fuck but please forgive me, I had a late start. I want to hang out in queer spaces and just Vibe. Absorb my surroundings. Observe and learn from people in a casual and fun way. I’m here to be a friend but also if anyone wants to casually kiss me I might be down for that. I am lacking so much knowledge about myself and I NEED to figure this out oh my god HELP”

[taejeonie]

what if markhee dated...

— for anon, hope u like it <3

hmm

i think mark developed feelings for taehee during superhuman era

and the fact that they had that verse together doesn’t make it any better

yes i won’t shut up about that verse

i feel like he would be kinda obvious to johnny

johnny would force it out of him just for the fun of it

then would tease him about it

but then they get serious like, “you know you might.....just be careful, okay?”

“i know hyung,,it’s just a crush anyways”

wrong

mark still had feelings for taehee come kick it era

surprisingly mark was able to hide it well

there were moments where mark would be a teensy tiny bit,,,,

jealous

since taehee hung out with hyuck more during that time

“taehee”

“hm?”

“do you,,,,do you want to eat tofu with me?”

“sure, let me go and ask haechanie”

and mark’s like : “wHy dOeS sHe hAvE tO aSk hIm iT’S nOt LikE tHeY’Re dAtInG >:(((“

“why are you jealous? it’s not like you’re dating either-“

“JOHNNY HYUNG”

did he just say that out loud? he did.

and then he hears a gasp

AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND HE WAS SCARED BC HE THOUGHT IT WAS TAEHEE

but then it’s just hyuck

“who’s dating who?”

and then he creeps up to mark while mark attempts to push him away

“you love me, don’t you hyung? why would you date someone else that’s not me (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)”

“it’s not like that-“

hyuck suddenly pulls away from him, “oh my god....”

“‘oh my god’ what?”

“don’t tell me,,,,don’t tell me you like me in that way”

mark winces, “oh god, please no”

but then at the same time, johnny goes, “he likes taehee not you”

“YOU LIKE NOONA”

“SHHHHHH”

“hyung,,you know that’s not allowed right-“

“i know”

“THEN YOU CAN DATE IN SECRET!!!”

“haechan, no-“

“THIS IS GONNA BE THRILLING!! don’t you want that hyung?”

“that does sound tempting,” johnny agrees with him

“i’d like to focus on work more, thanks”

“loser.”

“you’re a loser.”

a door shuts close causing hyuck to playfully wiggle his eyebrows at mark, making the latter shove him to the floor

and now hyuck’s on the floor being dramatic

“jOHNNY HYUNG .°(ಗдಗ。)°.”

“i asked jungwoo oppa but he’s asleep- woah what happened”

“MARK HYUNG PUSHED ME”

“mmARK THATS NOT VERY NICE”

she helps hyuck up from the floor and fixes his clothes, “u okay?”

“yes, thank you noonaaaaaa (*´꒳`*)”

“is johnny oppa coming?”

“i’m kinda tired, you guys can go”

“oKAYY LETS GO!!”

taehee grabe hyuck’s arm and leads him out

the whole time mark was like :OO

so hyuck sticks his tongue out at him

brat

anyways

about taehee

hmm i think she didn’t like mark as much as he did at first 

i mean she found jungwoo handsome she wouldn’t mind dating him

but she wouldn’t mind dating mark either

she wasn’t exactly thinking about dating anyone

in short, she doesn’t dwell much on the members to the point she would think if she wanted to date them or not

but yes she would date mark

they were doing a vlive in the waiting room after performing “kick it”

“manager hyung told me not to open vlive but i did” - taeyong, leader

taehee was being her free self as she was explaining what went down when she and jaehyun were playing games

“but then we had to get this thing bc it adds to our points bUT JAEHYUN OPPA-“

“taehee noona, someone said you should date mark hyung”

i swear mark was about to kill hyuck right then and there

“later, okay anyways-“

and you could see at the very corner

hyuck has his fist in his mouth like :OO

while mark becomes flustered again

but the members don’t really notice just mark, haechan, and johnny

so then later on taehee was lying down on her bed

thinking about everything that went down that day 

and then she started to think about what it would be like dating mark

and by think i mean think

and then suddenly she was like, “oh,,,,i like,,,mark”

“okay”

she didn’t tell anyone

i don’t think any of them would notice tbh

when she had her episodes after promotions they noticed that mark would be one of the people to really really make her smile and cheer her up

so when she was fine again her mind drifted to her and mark

i mean she knew it wasn’t allowed but,,,she’s willing to try it out

but then she started overthinking about what if it went awkward between them what would happen to the group will they kick her out would the fans hate her would it make mark her ex-best friend what if what if what if

she feels the bed dip beside her and two arms wrap around her frame

“noonaAaaAaAaAa”

“what”

“i’m boreddddd”

“i’m tired, go somewhere else”

“you aren’t,,,you were smiling. why were you smiling”

“nothing go away”

“were you thinking about hyung?”

“ew no why would i think about mark”

“AHHHH I DIDNT SAY ANY NAME BUT YOU DID HAHAHHA”

“ ( O.O ) what no-“

she tries to push him off the bed but hyuck’s arms had her secured

“if you’re not gonna let go then sleep with me. i’m going to sleep”

“ahh noona, mark hyung would be jealous if he saw us like this”

“shut up. i’m gonna sleep”

taehee couldn’t sleep bc hyuck was so,,,cryptic

so taehee tried to test out the waters with mark

and how, you might say?

pickup lines!!!! (*^_^*)

attempt one

“mark?”

“what?”

“are you asthma? because you take my breath away ;)))”

“w-what”

taehee: :((

second attempt

“mark i think something’s wrong with my phone”

“what? let me see”

“i don’t have your number on it”

“i thought I already gave you my number?”

“noona i think that was pretty dumb” “shut up haechan”

attempt tres

“mark, i may not be ariana grande but i’m so into you”

“oKAYYYYY CUT!”

“what we’re not even-“

attempt #938274929482939

to markly <3: mark mark mark mark mark mark

from markly <3: you’re right next to me

from markly <3: why are we texting?

to markly <3: because it’s more fun

to markly <3: okay. you have to complete the lyrics okay?

from markly <3: ... okay

to markly <3: are we an item? girl quit playin’

to markly <3: “we’re just friends”, what are you sayin?

to markly <3: your turn

from mark <3: said there's another, look right in my eyes

from markly <3: my first love broke my heart for the first time

to markly <3: and i was like baby baby oh

from markly <3: you forgot one

to markly <3: one what?

from markly <3: baby

to markly <3: yes?

from markly <3: you forgot one baby. there’s three baby’s

“OH MY GOD”

“WHATS WRONG”

“IM GOING TO HAECHAN’S ROOM”

“WHAT-“

while in haechan’s room

“HE IS SO DENSE”

“oh is that what you were doing?”

“SEE?? EVEN YOU KNOW”

“noona, everyone knows your naturally like that. you should just go for it”

“how???”

“kiss him,,,,on the lips”

*proceeds to make kissy noises*

“that’s too bold i’m not doing that”

haechan shrugs in return, “fine. your choice anyways”

“ugh let’s just play this game”

“if i win you need to kiss mark hyung tomorrow”

“never mind”

“pleaseeeeee”

“no”

“pleaseeeee??? for me??”

“i said no, just play your game”

“bUT IM SO TIRED OF MARK HYUNG TALKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME”

“HEY WHAT’S SO WRONG ABOUT THAT”

“IT’S DISGUSTING”

....

....

“ffff....fffine-“

“YES!!!”

“but we’re playing what i want to play.....easy mode”

“whatever you want noonaaaa (＾＿＾)”

she lost

so now she’s in her room with mark

hyuck locked the door from the outside for extra measure

but they don’t know that

“mark lee,”

“yes joanie?”

“jdjsjdhsjd you’re making this harder for me?”

“what??? are you talking about???”

she huffs before grabbing mark’s hand and pulling him up to sit straight on his bed

“do you watch haikyuu?”

“only a few episodes. wh-“

“because i laikyuu....”

“.........”

mark is flushed but he’s has too

k e e p c a l m

and teehee has her bottom lip in between her teeth cause she’s sO nervous this would never work

and mark finds this even more cUTE HE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE IN

tbh i think mark kinda had an idea of what teehee was doing,,,he just kept on denying it 

“you should tell that to yuta hyung. he’ll like it.”

“it’s for you, stupid”

“what”

“you’re so dense sometimes, geez. i like you a lot lot and if you still won’t get it through your frickin cute head i will literally explode”

“oh....wow”

“....’wow’ what?”

“cause i kinda....like you too”

and now they’re both just smiling at each other until they just break and laugh

“so uhh....what now?”

“then we date! duh,,,,unlessyoudontwanttoitsfine”

“no not like that, i mean how are we gonna do this? are the others gonna know? do you want to date outside bc i’m not sure if we can go out-“

“we don’t,,have to tell the others. and it’s fine we can stay here,,,”

she brings her face closer to mark’s before cutely saying, “as long as i’m with youuuuuuu”

“ahhh stop it”

“but i’m your girlfriend now!!!”

“oh?”

“y-yes ‘oh’! why you don’t want to? fine.”

taehee stands up but mark quickly grabs her hand and pulls her down until they’re both lying on the bed

“what are you doing?”

“i’m spending time with my girlfriend? what are you doing?”

taehee playfully rolls her eyes and proceeds to bury her face in mark’s neck

“okay.....”

she feels mark smile

“boyfriend.”

THEY’RE A COUPLE NOW YAY

okay so the people who only knew about their relationship were hyuck and johnny

they were very sweet

very clingy off-cam

“where’s my goodnight kiss?”

“oh my god mARK I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE THAT TYPE”

instead of calling each other by their names or like

“dUUUUUUDE!”

there’s the occasional “baby” hhhhh

“baby, come here”

“mark....”

“do you,,,do you not like it”

“no it just,,sounds nice i guess”

hehehe

so taehee would call him baby too 

“BABYYY I MISSED YOU MWAHH”

“EW NOONA DO IT IN YOUR OWN ROOM AND NOT WHEN IM AROUND THATS DISGUSTING”

but they’re professional during work dw,,they still had to prepare for “punch”

while taeil, jungwoo, and mark did the relay live

taehee came in and the fans noticed how mark’s eyes lit up

markhee stans are thriving

“are you doing vlive?”

mark stays quiet as he continues to stare at her with a smile on his face

awe i want a mark now :((

“yeah say ‘hi’”

taehee, off cam: “czennie hellooooo”

“why won’t you show your face?,” taeil asked

“i just woke up from my nap”

“oh did we wake you?,” jungwoo asks

at the same time mark mumbles, “you’re still pretty anyway”

but they all heard that oop

“jungwoo-oppa. i. am. fINEEEE,” she says cutely, “you guys weren’t loud”

“do you want a bite?,” jungwoo asks

taehee moves to his side of the table but mark stops her

“wait wait! come here”

taehee comes into the frame so mark could feed her with his chopsticks

“is it good?”

“mhmm”

c u t e

markhee stans keep getting fed without realizing

now markhee’s just being plain obvious with the next vlive we’re just friends my ass

the one with mark, jungwoo, and taehee

taehee sat in between the two boys and she kept patting mark’s hair

tHeY sEEm To bE vErY gOOd FrIEnDS

when mark imitated yuta saying ‘really?’

she couldn’t help but laugh and squish his cheeks together

“cUTE!!!!”

mark pried her hands off his face and casually, discreetly clasped her hands in his and put their hands atop of her knee 

jungwoo’s third wheeling unknowingly i’m so sorry sweetie

taehee.exe has stopped working 

and mark smirks in response 

when that beep called tHEY WERE BOTH LIVID

later on, another beep kept on spamming teehee’s phone with calls and texts that mark had to put it on silent and slide it in his pocket 

teehee protection squad 

they went to the dream’s mv set to bring them food 

“MY PARENTS!! THEY BROUGHT US FOOD”

“sHSHHSHSH none of them are supposed to know”

“mark hung danced to ‘boom’ already. you don't have to be anonymous anymore”

lol remember dohyuck in their uncut take #3?

well you have another one coming from markhee when they did that yt live to spoil punch’s choreo

hyuck noticed it while he was talking to the camera and his eyes went wide for a split second before proceeding to cover them with his head 

he tried to hold in his laughs 

ever since then, there were fans who were suspicious 

but majority of them just said all the members are like that 

“they seem to be very good friends”

i think the other members would be sus too but they won't dwell on it,,,that much 

overall, markhee would be the cheesy yet cute couple hyuck and johnny adore!! it’s like being best friends but now they get to hug and cuddle and kiss whenever they want (behind cameras and other people of course). in all honesty, if their relationship doesn't go south, i guess you could say they are each others’ first and last. <3

will dispatch catch them? most likely not.

will they ever reveal their relationship? who knows.

hyuck and johnny’s tip: “don’t let the managers know or else we’ll have to change roommates.”

[aqvarius]

What are your top 5 worst voltage routes?

oh damn this is a tough one haha. i’ve definitely played routes that i find average/forgettable but it’s hard to think of 5 routes that i thought were actually bad. except for one which i’m sure anyone who has followed me for a few years knows about lmao

i was just gonna give brief reasons but then as i was typing this out i couldn’t stop my loudass brain from rambling so... sorry for all the commentary lol. i do want to preface this by saying that these are more critiques of the writing than the characters (except shinobu haha i despise him). i love many of these characters and have enjoyed their epilogues/sequels/substories. my main gripe with most of these is just underdeveloped, jarring or flimsy character and relationship development, which to me makes the process of falling in mutual love unconvincing. that’s why all of these are main stories because they are about the critical moments of falling in love (rather than future developments such as tackling conflicts together) which i think are the foundation to any further growth. so please don’t take any of this personally if any of the guys i’ve mentioned here are characters that you love!

5. main story: takane momochi - destind: mr almost right

so this is more a case of “love the guy, don’t love the route”. i have to admit that i really wasn’t big on takane at first and then i got to the end of the route and realised that i actually didn’t love the mc. i actually quite like the destind mc in rei and araya’s routes but omg takane’s route is weird. i have no problem with takane kind of being a jerk and i actually really like him but i have a couple of issues with this route. the first is that i don’t really understand nor buy into the reason that they keep seeing each other. the mc learns about takane’s true nature and finds him kind of despicable but then decides that she’s definitely gonna make him fall in love with her, which as a plot point on its own i’m fine with but the way thy go into that discussion is really weird because it arises from the mc being appalled that takane had an affair with some teacher when he was a teenager and somehow leads into that discussion. basically i don’t think that the whole “i’m gonna make you fall in love with me” vs “i’m gonna make you sleep with me” challenge is set up particularly organically. 

it also occurs about halfway through the route which i don’t really think works in term of the pacing because within the shape of the narrative i would call it the end of act 1. act 2 would be them genuinely getting closer and then act 3 would be the conflict that develops between them which results in their breakup. with the structure of takane’s route, acts 2 and 3 essentially become crammed into the remaining half of the chapters, which makes the conflict in act 3 feel confusing and abrupt. i think it would have been more effective if they had set up the personality reveal earlier on in the route and then spent more time developing the budding incompatibilities which lead to the breakup-inducing argument.

the second issue that i have with this route is the mc’s lack of development/not addressing the actual mistakes that she makes with regards to how she sees takane. the mc suffers from idolising syndrome because she’s built takane up into this perfect prince in her mind (i guess kind of like with hiroki from mlfk) even though he’s a regular old (substantially) flawed dude who struggles with the pressure of external expectations bc people don’t see the ~real him~. this is all well and good and is set up to allow the mc to accept his flaws and see him as a real human being but instead she’s just like “your flaws aren’t really flaws, they’re just another example of why you’re perfect bc you engage with them!” SIS. he’s not a character that needs validation in that way bc everyone already thinks he’s perfect. he needs someone who can see that he’s FAULTY and help him through it, not just pass off his flaws and the way he deals with them as another point of admiration. destind mc isn’t even like old school perma-optimistic voltage mcs either, she’s a little more prone to judgement so i wish she (and the writing) engaged a little more with takane’s flaws and accepting them rather than just jumping straight to YOU’RE MY HERO. 

as a character i actually prefer him to araya but the fact that i was more convinced to love araya aka mr possessive liar himself is saying something about the story. 

4. main story: genji higashiyama - in your arms tonight

i don’t have much to say in detail because it’s been like 6+ years since i played his route and frankly i don’t remember the details, but i just remember that he was kind of a jackass and i expected better. i love ex-boyfriend/hatsukoi love interests but just didn’t really like his route. 

to quote from an old comment i once made: 

“omg i thought genji had so much potential bc hot exboyf soccer player hellooooo but he was just such a jerk, he really p-ed me off :<” 

“i kind of don’t like genji because he is a bit of a doucheypants and like really arrogant and a bit of a bully :/”

i remember the mc slapped him once after they made out which i don’t remember the context for but he probably deserved it. i was extra sad because i actually really liked him in soji’s route but he’s the team B guy in that one so......... thanks voltage. also he was a dick to everyone’s sweetheart aiba. i actually like him way more after his ms lol? conceptually i love him but his main story made me sad. 

3. main story: satoru kamagiri - 10 days with my devil

i mean this one was bad but i’m weirdly fond of satoru? i have no issues with sadists and i kind of like him (after having read substories). but this route was weird and the pacing felt a bit off to me. basically i have no idea what made him fall in love with the mc?

because i guess he starts being nice to you when he has to nurse you when you get sick and he genuinely feels bad and cares about you but do you really expect me to believe he was already in love with you when he made a date with you but decided to go hang out with other women leaving you standing in the rain for 6 hours? nah fam.

i also don’t remember what the climax of the story even is because i’m still hung up on being left waiting for him in the rain for 6 hours while he goes other women so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. main story: seiji goto - my sweet bodyguard

i’ve talked a lot about the issues i have with this route (including a couple thousand words of review here) but i’ll just summarise. this is definitely another case of love the guy, don’t love the route. in the GREE version, you meet him from the first time at the beginning of his route and gradually learn about his past, but in the standalone app version, you basically get thrown into the route with no exposition, meaning that you have to already have prior knowledge of goto and his backstory. i had known about it so it wasn’t as confusing as it could have been, but you really just get tossed into the mix expecting to already know about kazuki (goto’s dead ex). plus he’s already nice to you from the start because you’ve known each other for a while so there’s less of the actual seeing his behaviour change bit (which is my favourite part of all main stories - in case you couldn’t tell because all of my criticisms about routes are about lack of proper relationship development). kazuki and goto’s relationship is basically the thing that underpins the entire narrative of the route which is why i find it an issue that you don’t get much insight into it going into the route blind. 

it’s difficult to feel like goto and the mc are actually gradually getting closer in the route because it doesn’t feel like there’s one narrative line that’s building throughout the entire route as much as separate events, more or less. she just... looks after goto a lot? also basically goto is interested in you because you remind him of kazuki and when he starts to like you, it’s not actually very evident in his actions - you find this out because kurosawa basically tells you lmao. 

i actually wanted to leave him and date subaru because honestly subaru in goto’s route especially reads like a much healthier relationship option, but then goto runs in and interrupts a date with subaru and drags you straight off to kazuki’s tombstone and then... it’s a happy ending? his confession feels like it comes out of nowhere because his behaviour towards you doesn’t explicitly change but you just have to believe he likes you now as he confesses in front of his ex-gf’s grave and tells her he’ll see her soon. come on bruv you can do better than this lol. 

1. main story: shinobu narita - serendipity next door

this guy fucking sucks, dude. i can’t think of even one single redeeming quality he has. he’s the reason i stopped playing voltage games for like years and went on hiatus and more or less abandoned my blog until i discovered scm. i know there was a lot of controversy about whether or not he could be considered abusive and i threw that word around a lot back in the day when i liveblogged his route but DAMN at the very least he is just the WORST. the mc wakes up in his bed after getting wasted at a rooftop party and he convinces her that they had sex when she was drunk and then blackmails her into being his girlfriend by threatening to tell the entire apartment block that they slept together. he proceeds to snoop around in all her business, maliciously making fun of her and her work at every single chance he gets (he literally RIFLES THROUGH HER BAG to find her work and mock her about it) and then she looks at one document or picture of his and he gets all uppity about it because he’s a big ol hypocrite. basically he hates the mc because she’s so pure and he’s jaded because one time he confessed to someone and she ghosted him? so he deliberately acts nice to her sometimes so she’ll let her guard down and then follows it up with a common or action so malicious i wanted to choke him. all i’m saying is that there are a number of relationships that i never got closure on and it’s never made me want to blackmail a drunk person into dating me so i can mess them up emotionally  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the thing is, i have played other guys who are a bag of suck at first and then get so much better because of character development. and this is what is totally lacking in shinobu’s route. the mc falls in love with him bc of stockholm syndrome... and basically bc omg he’s so sad and damaged and she wants to heal him i guess? it sucks. they literally have no bonding moments where they genuinely connect except for the times when he’s super mean and manipulative to her and and she’s like omg but he’s so saaaaaad uwu. throughout the route, there is absolutely no character development on shinobu’s part, he’s just the same sadistic bastard who enjoys seeing his mc being hurt the whole way through lol but SUDDENLY you guys are in love? but literally at the end the mc tries to escape from him by moving out and instead of letting her go because he’s the worst, he chases her moving truck down? also he’s weirdly possessive even by voltage standards. 

btw this isn’t even just sadists not being my type - you know i adore kaga and eduardo and even people who take ages to warm up (cough shinonome). and you know i love men who tease and manipulate you a bit (because they’re doing it out of a d o r a t i o n not spite) . i also have no problem with outright assholes as long as we see them change, develop and genuinely fall in love. my biggest issue with this route is that i don’t think pity is the same thing as love, or that someone with his personality can get his happy ending without genuinely changing and redeeming himself in some way. i’m not a fan of romanticising guys who are mean to you because they’re so dAmAgEd and want to take it out on you. (the reason i love people like hue is because even though they’re riddled with grief and trauma, they’re mature enough to handle their emotions and you don’t need to fix them!!!) i genuinely think voltage bombed it with this route lol. it almost makes me want to go back and replay it just to see if it was really as bad as i remember but (1) i never transferred it to love 365 (2) it was on my old iphone and i use android now (3) i don’t want to spend money repurchasing a route that i’m 85% sure i’ll feel is a waste of money (4) i spent £2.49 on the route back in the day when voltage was cheaper and i don’t want to spend almost double that now lol. 

also the last time i read his route i abandoned this blog and stopped playing all otome games for a really long time lmao so................................ 

[dcrothy]

hello friends !! it’s ya hoe moose (she/her) & i’m 21 and chillin over in the cst. i’m jazzed af to join this lovely group and rp with u all !! my gal dorothy here is a semi-new muse & i’m still working some stuff out with her but.....hopefully u like her anyway lmaooo. i would love love love to plot with u all so feel free to HMU or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !! if you prefer to chat on discord just hmu on there instead, that’s chill with me. also bc i am such a.....pinterest hoe u can catch her board HERE !! more info abt her under the cut of course~

[ kristine froseth, cisfemale, she/her, 20 ] GINGER by THE FRONT BOTTOMS? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of DOROTHY LINDVIG. maybe because they’re VIVACIOUS but also ALOOF. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since AUGUST of 2016 in 410 and have 1 ROOMMATE. 

tw: trauma, eating disorder, drug use !!

ok so !!!! first thing’s first, she usually does by the nickname dolly. but she doesn’t care too much abt what u call her u can call her fuckass and she’d just be like what’s up

she’s a town native !!! grew up in a shitty area w a kind of shitty family. parents were never around, always off on benders or just....generally bein shitty parents. dolly & her older brother had to learn how to take care of themselves when they were pretty young and they’ve always done just fine. they didn’t have a lot of money so dolly got pretty good at playing up the cute lil girl role and getting free stuff out of ppl

as much as she claims she relies only on herself, she also relies heavily on the kindness of strangers bc without them she definitely would have gone hungry for real

in order to stay away from her house as much as possible she would hang out at the skating rink as a kid & eventually after stealing a pair of skates from the lost & found she taught herself how to skate & eventually figure skate as well. she’s always wanted to go pro but.....obviously couldn’t afford the training

her brother used to throw pretty big ragers in their place when their parents were gone so......she started drinking & doing drugs at a pretty young age & just generally hanging out with ppl who were much older than her & v bad influences.

trauma tw !! it was at one of these parties that she had a traumatic experience w one of her brother’s friends. she was 13 and she still hasn’t told anyone about what happened. it happened on more than one occasion and her brother is still friends w this boy so she just.....does her best to avoid him & pretend that nothing ever happened bc she refuses to acknowledge her trauma

she was pretty popular in school but never rly felt like she had any true friends ??? none of her relationships were all that deep and she mostly just hung out with people to get free stuff LMAO and like rides places i guess

but she does have her lil group of friends that she truly cares abt and when she actually cares abt u.......she’s around for LIFE u cant get rid of her sorry

she got emancipated when she was 16 and has been living on her own ever since. at first she’d would just stay at friend’s houses and sleep on their couches, but that stopped when she finally got a job at the skating rink teaching kids how to skate & got a new place to live. she’s been chillin working there and living in the apartment building for a couple of years now

despite the fact she has a job, a good portion of her income doesn’t even rly come from that ??? she has......a sugar daddy who finances most of her spending

that is.....a v brief outline of her life up until this point but imma talk a bit abt her personality now

she is.....very magnetic tbH. knows how to draw in a group and keep them interested

knows how to bat her eyelashes and flirt if it means she’ll get something out of it

she’s kind of mean, kind of not ??? she is v moody a lot of the time tbh like it’s either hit or miss with her. sometimes she’ll be in the mood to have a big long chat and in a split second she’ll be telling u to fuck off

likes to know everyone else’s drama but doesn’t like having drama of her own

kind of does her own thing ???? marches to the beat of her own drum. doesn’t rly follow any rules. she’s just out here

does most things out of spite. even if she doesn’t want to do something, if someone tells her she cant do something she’s gna do it no matter what

very animated and lively. the type to dance in the middle of the grocery store if a song she likes is playing

also the type to dance on tables at the club

doesn’t rly care what ppl think about her but.....does at the same time ??? if ur important to her she cares deeply abt ur opinion but if not........she doesn’t give a FUCK

makes homes out of people far too easily & it’s fucked her up!!!!!

she always has to keep herself busy or else she’ll lose her mind :))))

will do.......literally anything to get something for free ??? doesn’t matter what it is or who u are. she can HATE u but.....she will still blow u behind the 7/11 for a free slurpee u know

i wouldn’t say she’s hypersexual but she is highly sexual thx to her trauma !!!

she is friendly yet distant at the same time so like......while she will happily talk to u and hang out with u and whatever she avoids deep conversation topics ig ??? she always finds a way to leave or change the subject when it gets serious or make a joke out of things bc she can’t.........talk abt stuff ajsdfjkgdjgk

a very witty & clever girl. she’s v smart and would have done well in school had she had a slightly better life & didn’t have to worry abt whether or not she would starve

some extra tidbits abt her !!!

p much all of her clothing is vintage/thrifted. she likes to re-purpose old clothes and make them her own. but her aesthetic is v vintage. shoes are her fave & she’s always wearing some funky type of boot or platform shoe

just a real fashion bitch !!!!

catch her online shopping at almost any given moment

mental breakdown haircuts at 2am are her Mood

she loves going to cute lil vintage diners & drinkin a cherry coke. she....actually is lowkey addicted to pop 

can’t keep a relationship to save her life. will date someone and put herself FULLY into the relationship but.......will either get bored or cheat on them or put them up on a pedestal so it’s destined to fail after one lil mistake.

she is a self-sabotager like that bc she doesn’t believe she’s deserving of love or any good things really

smokes cigarettes

drug use tw !! smokes a lot of weed probably. also does a lot of cocaine. has a coke addiction, in fact

her fave colour is red

she has a cat named freddie who she adores more than anything else on the planet

likes to play poker & gamble

will literally try anything once

hates herself & is rotting inside!!!!!!!!!!!!

eating disorder tw !! another symptom from her trauma is the eating disorder she developed as a teen. food is.....one of her few things in life she can fully control so she controls it a Lot. she’ll go days without eating just to feel more in control & then often times after restricting a certain food for a v long time she’ll go on a massive binging and purging and it’s awful :////// 

just wants to have fun and forget abt how disgusting she feels on a daily basis & how much she hates herself :))))))))))

generally just.............a messy bitch

this is......a LOT. i don’t have a full wc page or anything yet but here r some ideas ig ???

friends !! ppl that don’t actually know her all that well but she pretends they do anyway

exes !! ya girl puts her whole entire being into relationships even tho she runs away from them right after bc self sabotage ???? so she prob isn’t on good terms with any of her exes but......she’s my bi queen so this is open to anybody!!!!

a drug dealer

party buddies

fwbs & hookups, that kinda thing

maybe someone she cheated on a partner with ??? for Drama

or like....someone who’s relationship she fucked up idk

maybe someone who has a crush on her or something & she’s like.......pls don’t what r u doing

someone she has a crush on & avoids them like the plague bc feelings are gross

a good influence

idK i want angst & cute fluffy stuff so just.........everything pls thank uuuu

and ofc.............the song connections i’ve sent to the main~

that was a LOT im sorry y’all but..........come plot w me pleaseeee :’)

[donghun-s]

the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority  - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie  - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix  And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands 

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when  older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!  

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather, 

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions!  Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept 

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

[jelly-omelette]

Today I felt emotionally stable. I got a solid amount of work done even though I worked four out of eight hours. I had fun texting Jess. I want to call them hiro. I like flirting w them. Tho I would like to get to know them better. I don’t want to rush into anything and I wanna feel calm n comfortable around them. So far I am. I have yet to find out if we compliment eachother and if we will mesh. I think I just want to be myself around them and not worry too much abt labels or expectations. It’s good so far cuz I think we have common interests and shared hobbies like video games. So I def feel like we can bond as friends over that. And then maybe it’ll grow into something more or maybe it won’t. Kinda hard to know this early on. It’ll take time for me to feel comfortable opening myself up to them. I’m not gonna throw myself out there too soon and reveal all my cards. I’ll keep it reserved and wait for them to make some moves first. Seems p balanced so far. They said good morning to me n was initiating convo :3 so that made me happy. I’ve been doing a good job holding my infatuation back but also enjoying the rush of the moment. It made me said when hiro told me that they have neophobia, cuz I really like trying new things. And also I worry that their Coeliac disease might make sharing things more difficult since a lot of food has gluten. I like that they r pretty asian in terms of cleanliness and eating foods like natto and umeboshi. And they’re rly cute for sending me wiki articles of both those things haha. I was surprised to find out that hiro is 25 years old but I kinda glad bc I like more mature ppl. And I like how we talk in diff languages to eachother. I wonder what their friends r like. I hope they’re not all white cuz I’m scared of white ppl. I just don’t feel super comfortable around them bc they make me feel invalidated and so foreign. I think it’s cool they have a therapist cuz that’s something I’ve been thinking abt lately. Investing in mental and emotional health is always rly attractive. So are their hands hehe. It’s funny how we’re both kinda shy abt flirting w eachother. I’m not as forward as I usually am and I like that I don’t have to be to keep their attention :) and we also share a love and interest for art, which is something that is new to me that I’m really excited to experience. Cuz then we could paint stuff together and look at art museums together. But of course it all needs chemistry first. I wonder if we’ll have any physical chemistry when we meet in person. If it’ll be rly strong off the bat or be a slow buildup or maybe it won’t b there at all and we’ll feel super comfy w eachother. I wonder what our love languages will be. I feel like it’s easy to communicate love w other Asians even if they’re only half asian bc they understand both the American and asian perspectives. They thought I was 19 lol. Oh and we also both climb, that’s gonna b really really cool if we actually have good chemistry and friendship. They’re kinda shy and hard to talk to on phone tho. I hope that’ll change over time. I didn’t like how hiro called my island bald and was saying that I was leaving trash on her island >:( not nice. But other than that they seem kind and encouraging. Can’t believe I told her I’m attracted to the thought of their nice hands embracing me tenderly and they weren’t weirded out about it :D that means I can dial it down a notch which will definitely make me feel a little bit more stable and not afraid of being ghosted or it not being mutual. I’m curious abt their family dynamic and what it was like for them growing up w unmarried and mixed parents. I want to ask that but I’ll save it for later. I’m also curious about their pronouns and if they would feel dysphoric if I referred to them as my gf. BUT that can wait cuz I mean we’re not dating and I don’t wanna rush or scare them w the dtr talk. They seem pretty open tho so I feel pretty comfortable. They like olives also and actual legit lavender flavor. That’s attractive.

At first I had some traumatic flashbacks of jenna bc they reminded me of her. Strangely kinda similar. Jenna isn’t half asian, but she was adopted by white parents. Also her parents had an unconventional dynamic, the dad was a widow bc the mom took her life and the dad married a new person. Oh also hiro has tattoos and kinda dressed like her. But hiro seems more reserved and emo and I like that, and into video games. I rly rly like that :) and culture and art. I like I like. And rly studious. Me like hehe. And also gender queer. I also like hehe. And dorky n shy and playful. Def bonus attraction :D I p confident we’d get a long as friends. Def wanna solidify that first before doing anything beyond that. But ya I would definitely get in bed w them hehehe. They’re rly cute.

Anyway about my day I also practiced guitar for like two hours, played animal crossing w hiro, and hung out w EG friends. That was the highlight of my day. I rly miss em. We watched shrek and played some jack box. That was good. I had a lot of laughs. :) then I started questioning my feelings and the way that I love ray is related to the slogan from the half of it. “Not every love story is a romance”. Cuz I love that guy to death and at one point I had like mini moments where I’d really want to cuddle him or like be physical w him, but I think I just rly rly love how much he’s helped me grow as a person and supported me and allowed me to be honest w him about everything and anything. I really want to apply all the positivity and thoughtfulness I’ve learned from him to my everyday approach to life. I feel like I’ve gone from a really depressing person to someone who is still depressed but very excited and positive about life at the same time. And no longer had to desperately search for external validation or guess about whether or not I deserve love. I just don’t question it anymore who decides to give me love and who doesn’t. I feel very grateful for my friends and my financial situation, my own place and freedom and awesome coworker rex. I feel grateful that I’m still in touch with sean, kara, dixie, aish, my swe friends, Jon, and I get to have awesome conversations abt politics and feminism and funny memes w people everyday. Also my brother and my mom, eh for my dad. And also natalie and my brother who have been there since day 1. I can’t wait to explore what else is in store for me for the future and move on wo th my life. I’m excited to explore my relationship w hiro and see what I can offer and what they can offer. I hope they see value in my abilities to be emotionally sensitive, make delicious food, be methodical and logical and clean, and also have stability and boundaries and good articulate communication. I want to work on being less defensive and being more kind to myself. Not doubting when people show me affection and not questioning when ppl do nice things for me. My perspective on life and fervor to do the right thing. I want to finish my list of tv shows and movies and make some bomb ass paintings. Oh also the fact that I got closure w my ex and we’re on good terms now and they’re gonna hook me up w some film gigs :D I rly hope hiro isn’t the jealous type that gets insecure and makes assumptions abt my relationships w other ppl. I’m still scared from my relationship w bianca and paranoid abt doing the wrong thing and not having my boundaries respected. Not having my voice heard or believed. I want to see if it’s worth it to go all in first before I do. Bianca def dived in head first super super soon. Like our first date we kissed and she slept over. And I was pressured into doing it w her even when I hesitated. That was such a meh thing and sign I should’ve realized it. But my self esteem was so low I think I was unable to value my own feelings and be there for myself when I needed myself to stand up for my feelings. I hope that I can improve my social anxiety and be more kind to myself and respect myself more. I’m doing a p good job so far w that whole situation w my dad. Just keeping my distance so I can keep my sanity cuz I care about myself enough to not compromise myself for his shittiness. I love this time I get to reflect on myself. I really really love it. I feel so free. I can’t wait to talk to hiro tmrw

[darthsuki]

Hey dad, I've got a problem. I've known this friend of mine for years and we dated for a while but it didn't work out. I dated one other guy in the time where he and I didn't talk (I'm the anon that also talked about the admin whom we could call Daddy, if you remember) and now we're friends again. Our conversations usually end up with a lot of sexual tension and while I've decided that I don't love him anymore I still take advantage of the tension, if I can call it that. (1/?)

I still live with my parents and they’re on vacation this week so I told him I’d be cool with voice/video calls. Again this ended with sexual tension and we ended up doing some mutual masturbation (we were both reading doujinshi) and it was okay. We both weren’t noisy (but I did let out a lot of sighs especially during the end) so it almost felt like I was just masturbating alone. Now he knows I don’t love him and the chance of us getting together is p much zero but he still likes me. (2/?)

He doesn’t care what I want to do, he trusts me enough to do basically whatever. I know he’d never use anything against me if that makes sense. Now the worrying part. While we were chatting I had fun but I keep wondering if maybe I do like him, but I always come to the conclusion that I don’t. The other guy I dated (I’ll call him W) I know for sure that I loved him. I felt comfortable doing whatever with him and that we were a good couple (even tho I ended up being wrong in the end) (3/?)

With this friend (I’ll call him P) I know I can tell him anything but I don’t want to date him. He told me after last night that we don’t have to speak of it again if I didn’t want to, or could try again. Thing is, we were looking for a time where we could meet up again (since we’re long distance) but after overthinking a lot again last night I don’t wanna see him for a while. When I thought about dating him I just couldn’t see it. P’s romantic, but I don’t want to be part of it. (4/?)

With W, I could imagine us doing everything, to just normal couple stuff and anything on a sexual level (we had almost exactly the same kinks) but I just don’t even like imagining myself with P. With W I felt beautiful and happy and such, with P I guess it just feels more platonic than anything? I feel really bad “using” him to feel less lonely. W has a new gf and I’m happy for him because I still lowkey love him, but I feel that it’s unfair because I’m a great gal as well.(5/?)

My relationship with W was ldr so I never saw him outside of my phone’s screen. That’s why I tell people I haven’t ever been in a relationship. I see people around me dating and being happy and I love tumblr imagines but I get scared when thinking of dating. Like I’m not worth being loved, but I have a lot of love to give. I’m a little clingy, love romance (and my kinks) (6/?)

I’m a senior in high school this year and I’ve accepted I won’t get a good relationship until I go to college. I’m trying to lose weight to feel better about myself but I also know relationships aren’t everything. What I’m trying to ask is, what should I tell P? I don’t wanna hurt his feelings but I feel uncomfortable doing “couple things” with him. And should I be worried about a relationship? Tysm (7/7)

Long answer short: you should absolutely tell P that you do not feel the same way that he seems to feel for you. I have a very personal story about a similar relationship that I myself had in high school, which I look back on with some regret because I was too passive and didn’t communicate or work for what made me happy.

Longer answer under the cut bc it’s a bit long

I started dating someone in high school that I had a mutual friend with–for the most part, he was part of my friend group that sat together at lunch, hung out during in-school free time, ect. I was at a time in my life where I wanted to be in a relationship and utterly romanticized the idea without being very knowledgeable or experienced in myself or what I wanted (I was questioning my sexuality, gender, and a billion other things at the time). Though my ex at the time (lets call him R) was more or less a sweet guy, he was obviously very inexperienced and had way more romantic (or perhaps only sexual) feelings towards me. I wanted to be in a relationship and so I stayed with him, even though I eventually decided that my feelings for him were purely platonic. This became an increasing issue for me; it made me stressed and anxious, constantly second-guessing my own wants simply so that I didn’t upset anyone. 

I was with R for a total of years, and while he was a good friend, he was definitely not someone I should have been dating, and not nearly for that long. Among problems that made it a bad romantic relationship, I simply didn’t share any romantic or sexual attraction to him, and almost got to the point where I told myself I was straight-up broken and that fictional relationships had ruined my ability to feel love for other people (a total cop-out excuse, but I nevertheless believed it). It wasn’t until shortly I graduated that I finally stood up for how I felt and told him that I didn’t share his romantic feelings and we broke up, but not without a shit-ton of guilt-tripping where he tried to convince me otherwise (keep in mind this was the SECOND break-up attempt, because the first time a year prior, he guilt-tripped me and won, furthering my self-doubt).

Because I didn’t prioritize my feelings over others, I was in a relationship for 3 years that I was absolutely unhappy with and, to some degree, felt extremely uncomfortable with. I like to blame that for my inexperience and lack of self-confidence at the time, along with the turmoil that came with trying to figure out my sexuality and gender in a very cisheteronormative home.

Always prioritize how you feel when it comes to any relationship–the moment you start to make excuses, that’s when its worth really flies out the window. You will definitely hurt yourself when you don’t remember to keep your wants and needs in the forefront of your mind, and I absolutely say that you need to tell P how you feel, regardless of how he’ll feel or take it. He is not entitled to your love, your feelings, your anything. A relationship is based on mutual respect, adoration, and a desire to encourage and help the other people involved in it. It is ALWAYS mutual.

If he can’t respect that you don’t share romantic or sexual feelings for him, if he can act like an adult and understand that no attraction is obligated to become something more, then you shouldn’t affiliate with him at all in all honesty.

On the same topic of relationships, I learned a bit of a hard way that you’re honestly better off looking for them once you’re out of high school. I know this can seem weird, but the romanticism of being in a relationship–especially when you’re younger/still in high school–can lead to a lot of inexperienced people hurting themselves and others because they don’t yet understand what they want out of a relationship. 

It wasn’t until I got my feelings and self together that I was emotionally prepared to be in a relationship I would consider deep and fufilling in all honesty, and that’s the one that I’m currently in with my two partners. I’m gonna be 23 next month, if that’s any sense of an anchor-point for where you’re at. It’s nice to be in a relationship, I won’t deny that! It’s helped me learn even more things about myself in a healthy environment, such as me being trans and asexual, but it’s also because the people I’m with understand that we have to put our needs first and worth them out together. 

As long as you stay safe, focus on your needs and desires, and work hard on being confident to stick to your guns to make sure that whatever relationship you may find yourself in is healthy and mutual, then you don’t have anything to worry about. Just enjoy life one day at a time as best as you can, and I’m always here if you ever need any other advice or help with something.

[survey-babe]

Survey 183

Would you like to have twins? idk maybe when I’m older but I guess u’d have to be careful about bringing them up as separate people that are still close? idk

How old is your most recent ex? 18 (most recent being 3 years ago lol)

How does your hair look right now? it’s ok tbh will need a wash tomorrow tho probs

What color were the last shoes you wore? black

Are you currently listening to any music? yeye been on the glee recently

You’re trapped in a room with your last ex for one day, what do you do? probs laugh loads n loads and also probs have some deep convos about life lmao

Who was the last person you got into an argument with? i don’t rly remember. probs my mum tbh

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? absolutely n i have done :)

What are you listening to right now? 'i will always love you’ by glee lmao

Are you expecting a child? no

Are you waiting for anything in particular? the next time I’m seeing Nathan as always lol. Also Ella to get better :( I miss her

Last person to really piss you off? idk probs my mum lmao

What time did you go to sleep last night? about 12

Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I hope so but I have no faith in anything I do tbh. I think I could manage it yeh

Marriage in your future? Absolutely. Free stuff innit

If your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do? well my best friend did like my ex n they got together n i was a dick about it. If someone was to like katie now I 100% would not care but if i was to break up with Nathan n someone liked him I’d be mortified n torn as to how to act bc I’m so in love with him but wouldn’t want to be a twat n get in the way of his/my friend’s happiness lol

Want to have kids before you’re 30? I always wanted to wait until I’d got a good career but tbh I’d be happy having a kid as soon as i finish uni and secure some kind of job tbh (as long as i stay with nathan until then. want to have been with someone a while before we have kids)

Have you kissed more than 10 people this year? no

Do you like meeting new people? yeye usually

What are you doing right now? this survey n listening to music

How many piercings do you have? 0

Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? not that’s connected to me

Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? nah

Do you think somebody’s in love with you? absolutely and I love it so much

Who do you spend the most time with? idk i spend a lot of time with a few people. I guess it’d be nathan bc we spend at least one night a week together

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? yeh rn xx

Last person you rode in a car with? my mum n dad

Do you mind sleeping on the floor? I’d rather sleep on a bed but the floor isn’t too bad

Do you enjoy summer? yeh

Do you have a phone? Yes

Is there anything you wanted to do today that you didn’t? some sociology revision. got stats n psychology done tho so it’s ok

Is it hard leaving people behind? yeh

Will you kiss someone within the next week or two? :D

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? pyjamas

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a guy? no i probably won’t hang out with anyone in the next 48 hours :(

Did you do something mean to someone today? idk probs

What is your favorite night to go out? friday of course

Has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it? yeh but I’m over it

Have you ever tripped over something in public? of course who hasn’t?

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? yeh for sure

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now? no unless it was nathan lol

Are you addicted to cigarettes? no

Is any part of you happy at all? yeh most of me is happy tbh

How was your day today? p good tbh. got on with quite a lot of revision and saw my favourite person in the world. Miss Ella loads tho n feel helpless when she’s in pain :(

Do you have more friends that are girls or boys? I have more close friends that are girls but my extended group is probs similar amount of boys n girls tbh

Have you ever been caught skipping class? i don’t think so

Do you hate anyone? yeh :(

How often do you listen to music? often

Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Nathan

What did you do yesterday? revised n then revised some more n then went to my grandma’s for tea n then revised some more

Are you going on vacation soon? I am doing in summer yeh :D

Do you ever watch the Disney Channel? no

What’s on your mind right now? revision tbh

Who do you call more than anyone else? Nathan

Do you bite your nails? yeh :/

Do you have a job? no ://///

Have you done anything bad in the last week? I don’t think so?

Do you like someone right now? yeah

Are you jealous of anyone right now? I get jealous over stupid things all the time

Does anyone like you? yeh

Have you ever mooned anyone? haha idk what mooning even is anymore

Where is somewhere you travel every summer? nowhere. we used to go to Wales every year but haven’t been in about 3 years 

When was the last date you went on? idk what counts as a date. last time i went out like for a meal w/ just me n nathan was probs about a month ago? I don’t remember

Do you own an iPod? no

What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? probs Nathan tbh or maybe Ella

Do you want to fall in love? I never did want to fall in love bc it scared me loads but now I’m in love it’s the best thing ever (still scary sometimes but the good 100% outweighs the scary)

Do you wear flip-flops when it’s cold? no

Do any of your friends have children? no

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? nope

When was the last time you had Starbucks? i don’t think I’ve ever had starbucks

Can you whistle? kinda

Favorite TV show?

atm fresh meat, dear white people, pointless, n i’m also looking forward to the new seasons of kimmy schmidt n oitnb

Do you own any band shirts? don’t think so

What is your favorite salad dressing? i don’t rly know a lot about salads lol

Are you on a desktop or laptop? laptop

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? i want a few tattoos but not piercings

Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos? idk about covered bc I’m not about face tattoos but I wouldn’t be averse to other parts of the body. it wouldn’t necessarily attract me tho

When was the last time you slept on the floor? last slept on cushions on the floor last weekend n do it every weekend

Do you eat breakfast daily? no

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? i guess maybe female?

You’ve locked yourself outside and no one will be home for a few hours, you? go to my next door neighbour’s for a key

In the past 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? yeh just a few hours ago x

Have you ever walked on the beach at night? don’t think so

What were you doing at 2AM this morning? sleeping

How many kids do you want? probs 2 maybe 3

Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? nope

Last night, did you talk to anyone until you fell asleep? :( to Ella’s answer. I did talk to ella and nathan until i fell asleep yeh

Who are your last 3 missed calls from? idk bc my phone’s out of charge

What’s the best thing about summer? not having responsibility n doin loads of fun shit but also relaxing n sleeping in when u need it. If the weather’s nice feeling the heat on ur body n falling asleep in the sun is nice n also day trips out with the grandparents n friends n idk it’s just nice

Should you be doing something else instead of this? yeh I’m gonna go sleep in a min

Do you ever wonder what your life looks in someone else’s eyes? i do all the time n it stresses me tf out

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to text you? Nathan

Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend? idk Nathan says I’m a good girlfriend but i definitely do not feel like one bc i moan all the time n give him loads of shit n i’m not as supportive as i could be n i don’t tell him i love him enough n idk that’s probs just my self hatred comin through xox

Whose bedroom were you in last? mine

Why do you feel the way you feel? idk bc hormones n social context innit

[transsteves]

1 through 50

AAAAHHHHH OH GOD OKAY WASN’T EXPECTIN THAT BUT OK FINE

1: What are you wearing?im in tracksuit trousers and a mighty boosh shirt ayy

2: Ever been in love?yes ugh

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?yes, even more ugh.

4: How tall are you?5'7"

5: How much do you weigh?last I checked, 104 lbs?? but I’ve been sick so that might have fluctuated

6: Any tattoos do you want?I already have two (sloth on my right arm, three dots on my left ankle), but I really want like… a spaceman in space in a bottle with “it’ll all make sense again” on a ribbon around it.i want quite a lot of tattoos tho and I want the right side of my body to be in colour and the left side to be all in b&w dotwork

7: Any piercings that you want?again, I already have a few (left nostril, right bottom lip, two in left ear, and a stretcher in my right ear), but I want my right eyebrow pierced maybe a couple times and I want the cartilage of my ears pierced like. all the way down and I’ve been playing with the idea of a septum??

8: OTP?I legit can’t narrow this down to one ok it’s impossible

9: Favorite Show?right now it’s stranger things. but like, long term rewatchability it’s probably the mighty boosh just because it’s fucking insane.

10: Favorite bands?SO MANY um. the classic emo shit that I’m sure you expect from me (bmth, mcr, fob, p!atd, atl, and others), but right now I’m really into like. emotional folky music?? like bright eyes, the boy least likely to, pixies, mumford & sons, someone still loves you boris yeltsin, and like a ton more goddamn just add me on spotify

11: Something you miss?I… don’t know??? probably mardy and mick right now. I wish I could see them.

12: Favorite song?aaaaa right now you don’t know by kaitlyn tarver

13: How old are you?18 years and exactly 3 months tomorrow

14: Zodiac sign?leoooo

15: Hair Color?naturally I think it’s like. really dark brown/almost black but it’s dyed pastelish green rn

16: Favorite Quote?homosexuals are not interested in making other people homosexual. homophobes are interested in making other people homophobic (stephen fry)

17: Favorite singer?DODIE DODIE DODIE DODIE DODIE

18: Favorite color?red/black, but then like… separately, pastel yellow/blue

19: Loud music or soft?separately, both.

20: Where do you go when you’re sad?I hide in my room

21: How long does it take you to shower?like 5 minutes. unless I’m dissociating, bc then it can legit be 3 hours.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?15 minutes on a good day! but it takes me about 3 hours to actually get out of bed

23: Ever been in a physical fight?quite a few!!! I only started one of them tho and I think a lot of them can be considered beat downs instead of fights

24: Turn on?people just. being. adorable.

25: Turn off?PEOPLE BEING DICKS THERE AIN’T NO NEED FOR THAT

26: The reason I joined Tumblr?originally? fucked up shit, but that was like 7 years ago and I was a dumb suicidal abused 11 year old. but I came back for the fandoms

27: Fears?not much??? the dark a little, mannequins, dolls, puppets, but only in real life. polystyrene, balloons, and bad quality felt pens tho? get tf away from me

28: Last thing that made you cry?flashbacks.

29: Last time you cried?yesterday.

30: Meaning behind your urleLEVEN HOPPER IS NON BINARY AS HELL FITE ME

31: Last book you read?im re reading IT rn bc I’m motherfucking trash !!!!

32: Last song you listened to?sleeping with a gun under my pillow - the boy least likely to

33: Last show you watched?stranger things 2

34: Last person you talked to?irl? mum. online? eddskaspbrak

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?oh shit who did I last text// it was my step dad I had to edit this in my drafts for that

36: Favorite food?frozen sweet corn and pickled gherkins (separately)

37: Place you want to visit?Canada??

38: Last place you were?my… room??? like I’m there right now???

39: Do you have a crush?HFJFNKFKF I DON’T KNOW MAYBE WHAT ARE EMOTIONS

40: Last time you kissed someone?ummmmmmmmmmmmmm I have no memory but I’m gonna assume it was my last ex so like. a month to 2 months ago maybe

41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?my mum was being low-key transphobic

42: What color underwear are you wearing?I had to check but blue boxer briefs w/ red spots

43: What color shirt are you wearing?black

44: What color bottoms are you wearing?black

45: Wearing any bracelets?I got my fit watch and a dodie tour wristband bc I’m trash

46: Last sport you played?????????? I do not remember but probably boxing if holding the pads and flinching wildly counts

47: Last song you sang?seasons of love from rent

48: Last prank call you remember doing?I??? don’t know???

49: Last time you hung out with anyone?irl… halloween night bc Charlie came round and we watched movies and I’ve been sick since

50: Favorite movie?OH GOD UM I’m gonna like. do a few??? so the nightmare before Christmas, the rocky horror picture show, o brother where art thou, it (obvs), and deadpool

[silverichorr]

Survey, Like it’s 2014

I haven’t done something so silly and self indulgent in a while. I have a plate of homemade pizza rolls, I just finished an audiobook, and I’m ready to go.

Last person you watched a movie with? Omg. Probably Liam, and I haven’t watched a movie with him in at least a couple of months. #LDRLife

Have you been disappointed in the past three days? Yeah. I was going to go camping with my co-worker this weekend, and the weather really pooped out on me :/.

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours? Probably sleep, maybe embroider more or watch more “Community.”

Is your birthday in February, October, or May? No.

Do you have a good relationship with your ex? I was just chatting with Veronica about this. I haven’t spoken to him in six years, and I would love to catch up with him sometime — but I know that isn’t going to happen.

What windows are open on your desktop right now? Actually, just this one.

When is the last time you yawned? When I FaceTimed a sleepy Veronica.

Are you someone who hates to read? If I am, I’d probably be terrible at my job.

Who did you last get high with? Omg. This answer is FINALLY going to change next weekend. Probably Tracy, Harrison and Veronica (Veronica is a famous lass on this survey!).

Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? They’re not worth mentioning.

When was the last time you had brownies? Oooo. I think during my work convention.

What’s something you hear right now, besides music? The hum of my fan, the sound of me chewing (I love these pizza rolls so much).

Is it warm outside? The humidity will end me.

Last time you spoke to the person you have feelings for? I was texting him all afternoon. I felt really comfortable and cute today, and I’m happy I got to tell him :).

What does your last text in your inbox say from a girl? Ma girl Emilie: “I love this,” referencing a photo with immense horse-girl energy.

At what age do you want to have your first child? LMAO.

Do you ride a bus regularly? Only when I’m traveling to home or Ith.

Does/did your school require uniforms? Nah. Damn, maybe I’m getting too old for these surveys if they’re asking about me going to school ...

Do you live alone? Until next month, yes.

What is your favorite food to eat for lunch? Lmao, whatever is going bad in my fridge. I had bean salad for about three days in a row this week, and it was actually quite good.

When was the last time you were out of your home town? I think the better question would be the last time I was IN my hometown, and that would be the weekend of my birthday when I got to see Liam and Nicole and Sam and Lucas and Shannon and Darwin and my heart was so full.

What was the last little kid show that you watched? Do you normally watch this show? Ooooo. Not sure. Maybe Spongebob? Fucking classic.

If you had to eat breakfast tomorrow morning, what would you eat? Ha, probably going to eat tofu and beans bc I have nothing else to eat. That or oatmeal.

Would you rather read the newspaper, watch the news, or read the news online to learn about current events? LMFAO. As a journo, I don’t feel comfortable answering this question. Let’s just say I have strong opinions on all mediums.

Have you ever touched a cow? I worked with one on the ranch; she was v good.

What was the last essay you wrote about? Ooof. Probably my sword-fighting one. Though I did write other long-form pieces for work last year I was quite proud of.

Do you call the ice cream topping “jimmies” or “sprinkles”? Sprinkles.

Is there a particular race that you find more attractive than another? Nah, son, bc I’m not a racist shit. But gingers will always hold a special place in my heart.

You have to come up with a new name for your fake ID, what name do you choose? Yup. Feeling old again. I’ve also never had a fake.

Have you ever had a churro? Yes? Why is that a question?

Do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships? I mean. I’m low-key poly so ... 

What’s the next movie you’ll watch in theaters? Not sure.

Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you? Probably Tina.

Who were the last people you hung out with? Taylor! Unexpected friendship.

How many people are you talking to online right now? Wow, presumptuous.

Are you part of an organization that helps out other people [in any way]? That’s what nonprofits are all about.

Where was the last place you went shopping? That really nice antique shop near me.

So what do you plan on doing this weekend? I’m probably going to clean and cook and sew tomorrow, like the domestic fuck I am. Idk when I got so into traditionally fem stuff, but I love it.

Who was the last person you gave money to? Probably Nicole, tbh.

Are you going to get your driver’s license this year? OMFG.

Do you plan on dressing up for Halloween this year? Not sure the protocol on that one.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to hug you? My old adviser from uni.

The last person that made you angry, did you tell them? Hmmm. Maybe my parents? Maybe Liam? Regardless they know, lmao.

Do you pay with cash, credit/debit, or checks most often? Debit bc fuck cash.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Lmfao. We have/are going to be living together. He’s such a good bed buddy.

Do you remember who you liked three months ago? Lam!

Would you ever be a stripper? I’ve thought about it. it would be good money and a workout. I’m not sure if I can deal with the men, tho.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? Well ....

How many guy best friends do you have? Oh, I love my dude friends. They remind me men can be p cool sometimes.

Do you know anyone with a really weird name? Yep! I don’t want to call them out here, tho.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? Nicole and Liam, 100%.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Absolutely. I haven’t kissed anyone else in a little while, and I’m OK with that.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Ha. I hope so if he’s moving in with me again.

If you were in the hospital on life support, would the last person you kissed visit you? Why does it matter if I kiss them????? I love kissing people I’m not romantically involved with!

Your ex is walking next to you, with their new partner, what do you do? I just would like to casually catch up. I feel like Liam meeting him would satisfy some of his curiosity, too.

Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? Oooof. Don’t even.

It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Lmao, Nicole bc she doesn’t understand a socially acceptable sleep schedule.

Are you good at giving directions? Just give me a map.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Lmao, story of my life.

Did you cry from a text last night? Surprisingly, no.

Do you think the last person you texted cares about you? I’ve only texted friends today, so yes, all of them.

Would you kiss the last person you texted? Nicole, so ... eh, maybe.

Can you count your serious relationships on one hand? Are you supposed to be calling me out or something? Bc I only have two, but they’re both decently long.

Name something great that happened today. I woke up early and exercised with a bunch of people!

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing right now? Cotton On; it has a “Twin Peaks” quote on it — which I didn’t know about until years after owning it — and it blows Liam’s mind, which I think is really funny. I guess I’ve had this shirt since 2012 or 2013. Damb. I love this shirt.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you? I met her for the first time last year! I was drunk af, but I immediately friended her on fb. I haven’t spoken to her since.

Do any of your friends dislike each other? No bc then they wouldn’t be friends.

What are you doing right now? This?

You can get a puppy or a new car. Which do you choose? Definitely a car bc I desperately need one. Plus a car is much more expensive, so what’s even the question here? If I really didn’t need a car, I’d take the new one, sell it, and make one pup v happy.

Do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans? Never.

Everyone has that one relationship they would do over & change something right? I mean ... do they?

What was your first thought when you woke up today? "I shouldn’t go to boot camp. Fuck it, let’s go.” No ragrets.

Did you have a good weekend? I’m having a nice weekend :).

Are you close with anyone you never expected to be close with? Yeah, actually. Nicole, for sure. But I’m so beyond happy we’re such good friends.

Do you have a hard time letting go? Literally my existence.

[heckyeahsurveys]

#257

Would you like to have twins? noo

How old is your most recent ex? 18

How does your hair look right now? it’s in a ponytail and i haven’t washed it for 4 days :)))

What color were the last shoes you wore? black

Are you currently listening to any music? yep, I always am tbh

You’re trapped in a room with your last ex for one day, what do you do? probs just chill like we do all the fucking time 

Who was the last person you got into an argument with? dad

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? idk probs tbh

What are you listening to right now? the headmaster ritual by the smiths

Are you expecting a child? noo

Are you waiting for anything in particular? jack to reply to my message

Last person to really piss you off? idk probs my dad

What time did you go to sleep last night? like 3am, i couldn’t sleep at all n then kept waking up so had like 3 hours sleep 

Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? no

Marriage in your future? sure

If your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do? well one of my best friends is my ex and my other is my ex’s ex and also in a v happy relationship so that’s just not gonna happen lmao 

Want to have kids before you’re 30? no, don’t want to have them at all

Have you kissed more than 10 people this year? nope

Do you like meeting new people? idk it depends

What are you doing right now? this survey n listening to music

How many piercings do you have? five

Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? i’m sure someone somewhere in the world does x

Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? idek what “go out” means anymore, if it means if they asked me on a date it depends who it was?? 

Do you think somebody’s in love with you? nah

Who do you spend the most time with? probs katie, or liz

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? i think i do atm :// 

Last person you rode in a car with? my grandma

Do you mind sleeping on the floor? i’d rather not

Do you enjoy summer? yep

Do you have a phone? yeah

Is there anything you wanted to do today that you didn’t? i wanted to get up at a decent time and eat breakfast but instead i sat in bed crying lol so yknow 

Is it hard leaving people behind? ofc

Will you kiss someone within the next week or two? i hope so

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? a t-shirt n knickers lol

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a guy? nah

Did you do something mean to someone today? idk probs

What is your favorite night to go out? fridayyy

Has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it? sure

Have you ever tripped over something in public? yeh

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? i hope so

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now? nah

Are you addicted to cigarettes? yeh

Is any part of you happy at all? part of me is yeah, just not most of me 

How was your day today? shite tbf, just been in pain n done nothing all day but kt kept me company for a bit so that made it a lil better

Do you have more friends that are girls or boys? girls

Have you ever been caught skipping class? no

Do you hate anyone? yeah 

How often do you listen to music? all the time

Who were the last people to hang out at your house? katie, and also nicole earlier

What did you do yesterday? just sat in the house n katie came round at some point, it’s all a blur tbh so i don’t remember most of it 

Are you going on vacation soon? not for a few months 

Do you ever watch the Disney Channel? not anymore

What’s on your mind right now? jack lol

Who do you call more than anyone else? kt

Do you bite your nails? a bit

Do you have a job? nope

Have you done anything bad in the last week? define bad

Do you like someone right now? yeah

Are you jealous of anyone right now? nah??

Does anyone like you? yeah :)

Have you ever mooned anyone? liz lol

Where is somewhere you travel every summer? nowhere anymore, we used to go portugal every year but haven’t been for a couple now - going this year tho!!

When was the last date you went on? fuck knows, like a year ago lol

Do you own an iPod? nah

What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? jenny

Do you want to fall in love? i don’t know, it kinda scares me but i kind of want to aswell

Do you wear flip-flops when it’s cold? no, i don’t wear flip flops at all

Do any of your friends have children? nope

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? nah, mayb i should tho 

When was the last time you had Starbucks? idk time ago

Can you whistle? sometimes

Favorite TV show? game of thrones, gotham, sense6, oitnb, unbreakable kimmy schmidt

Do you own any band shirts? yeh i have two?? arctic monkeys and muse (got both time ago, don’t listen to muse much anymore but arctic monkeys are still the One)

What is your favorite salad dressing? a simple balsamic vinaigrette does me tbh

Are you on a desktop or laptop? laptop

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? tattoos yeh, not any piercings atm

Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos? sure

When was the last time you slept on the floor? idk

Do you eat breakfast daily? yeah p much

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female i guess

You’ve locked yourself outside and no one will be home for a few hours, you? nip to the coop n get mum’s key 

In the past 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? nope

Have you ever walked on the beach at night? yep

What were you doing at 2AM this morning? trying to sleep, probably crying

How many kids do you want? none

Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? no but like i feel like there’s a couple ppl i still like a lil bit but not rly??

Last night, did you talk to anyone until you fell asleep? no - i said night to jack n jenny but then i was up for like three more hours trying to sleep :((

Who are your last 3 missed calls from? jannette, jenny, kt

What’s the best thing about summer? not being in college, and therefore not having shit due in n the stress associated w/ that, when it’s warm n u can just sit in the sun, being able to go to bed/get up whenever, just chilling w/ mates n enjoying life 

Should you be doing something else instead of this? probs sleeping idk

Do you ever wonder what your life looks in someone else’s eyes? i guess

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to text you? dad?

Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend? probably not :/

Whose bedroom were you in last? mine?

Why do you feel the way you feel? i think it’s bad karma that i’m injured, so bc i’m a dick i guess x i feel a lot of things atm tho tbh - like heartburn bc i’m stressed n my period’s due, i’m out of it bc i took cocodamol, i’m sad bc i’m falling for someone n i’m stressed but also i rly want to see him :// n the awkward face is bc i’m stressed bc wTF are feelings n how have they done this to me??? like can he just get off my mind for two minutes. who lives like this (anyway this question was too open so i covered all the bases. could go on but that’s exactly what i’ve already done so time to shhh)