#I don’t understand why someone can just post a simple photo of themselves on the internet and some random person in the comments thinks

[sadgirlautumn]

It wouldn’t be a late night if I wasn’t complaining about instagram comments!!

[lavienbleuuu]

Objectification Disguised as Female Empowerment

Provocative images of women and their impact on society

I’m not one to complain about female empowerment normally. We’ve come a long way toward gender equality, thanks to the women who came before us and fiercely fought for it. We may not have arrived at our destination, but we can remain steadfast in our journey.

Female empowerment takes on many different forms, has different connotations, and varies among different cultures and religions.

For me, female empowerment primarily represents women having equal access to opportunities to make strategic life choices in a variety of ways. To someone from a different cultural background, it may mean something entirely different.

But there’s a trend, under the guise of empowerment, that I just can’t stand behind: the provocative, even semi-erotic, photos of women splashed across the internet, social media, television, and everywhere in between.

I’ve heard people say women should be free to embrace their sexuality — it’s empowering. In fact, certain cultures force women to hide their sexuality…or worse.

How is this image “empowering”? Is it because she makes the choice — rather than the patriarchal system — to pose provocatively? She can choose her audience? She is proud of her body and should feel free to show it off? I don’t buy any of it.

The image sends a clear message that it is not the person who matters. Her worth is based on her beauty, youth, and body. In short, her sexuality matters. A lot.

That’s sexual objectification. Plain and simple.

Studies support this premise. And the research shows that sexual objectification can be linked to mental health issues, including depression and disordered eating.

69% of females (ages 10 to 18) state that photographs of models and celebrities in the media motivated their “ideal” body shape..[and] [t]he rate at which teens are becoming aware of their body shape and size is getting younger and younger, and media plays a big part in this.

That’s scary.

For every “like,” a hyper-sexualized photo receives on social media, the more we feed the frenzy. The more provocative photos we voluntarily post of ourselves or others, the more we foster the problem.

Sure, there’s an allure to appearing in these images. These women have the right to express themselves and to decide how to present their bodies to the world. They have that autonomy.

But it’s also important that they recognize the broader context of the exercise of their choices. They are making them in a society that has historically limited women based on their physical appearance. How these women choose to portray themselves perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards for all women and girls, which contributes to societal problems.

With new social media platforms appearing constantly, in addition to the evolution of AI, the problem will likely get worse. Women have come so far. Why would we voluntarily take 3 steps back? Don’t we want more for ourselves, our girls, and our young women?

I want every girls to understand their worth based on who they are, not on what they look like. I don’t want them to doubt themselves, their abilities, or their competency because they don’t believe they measure up to societal expectations of what a woman should look like.

We can refuse to indulge the media that persistently barrages us with images of celebrities wearing hardly anything. We can refuse to scroll posts of women shown in scantily clad clothing. We don’t have to view them and we certainly don’t have to “like” or comment on them.

By withholding “likes” and engagement from hyper-sexualized posts, we can send a clear message that we value substance over superficiality. We create a narrative that reflects women’s accomplishments, skills, talents, and other unique qualities, rather than primarily their physical attributes.

We can also open the dialogue with our daughters, sons, partners, and friends about the difference between objectification and empowerment, as well as the impact of sexual objectification on women and girls.

We can break the cycle and rewrite the narrative. It’s well past the time.

[a-funny-little-sunflower]

Yandere Elves stuck in Mandos Au Part 1

In this Au, our lovely Yandere Elves are now in Mandos domain, some are there for longer than others but the thing to remember is that they are currently unable to leave, but it is possible to break out, but keep in mind that this is an incredibly difficult feat. So, unless they manage to escape, they are unable to see their darling, and because these elves are Yandere’s, this face upsets them incredibly.

The elves that are currently being kept in Mandos is Feanor, Fingolfin, Celegorm, Fingon, Glorfindel, Finwe, Maedhros, Maglor and many more! Requests are open for more elves so don’t be afraid to ask! They don’t even have to be canonically in Mandos.

So, because of this, misbehaviour in Mandos began to run rampant and arguments, as well as physical fighting, broke out easily.

Now, Mandos decided that he needed to find a way to stop this, so he set up a reward system to keep the elves in check. One of the first few things put in place was the production of pictures in the likeness of the elves s/o. The reward system was simple, if you behave well, you get pictures of your s/o.

The pictures quickly became a hot commodity in Mandos. Can't see your darling? Pull out that photo and try not to get anything on it.

However, some of the elves decided that a simple picture of their s/o was much too common of a thing to have, and the more elite elvish residence of Mandos decided to commission portraits of their s/o. That way, they could have control over what position their s/o was in or what level of clothing they were in.

However, not everyone can afford such high price portraits and so Mandos decided that he would start offering a catalogue of care packages! These care packages can vary but the cheapest one usually consists of a small magazine similar to a playboy one, except, it’s all hand-painted pictures of the s/o.

As well as that they usually have a recording of the s/o’s voice, a fleshlight, a plant that allows the owner to have more realistic and lifelike dreams of their s/o and an article of clothing belonging to their s/o. The more expensive the care package is, the more things are included.

When it comes to the making of said portraits, no one wants to be the painter for Feanor's s/o. He's already got a critical eye before Yandereness. Can you imagine if you mess up her face or something like that? If you mess up a single feature of his beloved, he's gonna mess up your entire bodily anatomy.

However, Mandos sees the potential to expand the lines of communication once more. Mandos has recently installed a Palantir so that the Elves can communicate with their s/o’s. Some of the families even have Palantir in their quarters.

Palantir’s are used for facetime or sending messages to s/o. The Palantir glows in preparation for an incoming message, and it’s even possible to send ‘gifts’ or audios with the Palantir. However, there aren’t enough Palantir’s for everybody. They are normally used by the elite, like princes or elven lords. But Mandos has to decide who gets them since there's a limited quantity.

The problems about the Palantir’s starts when there isn't enough and Feanor keeps hogging all the airtime. This leads Fingolfin to confront Feanor by saying, “stop hogging the Palantir, I want to talk to my s/o too!”, which quickly develops into pushing and shoving.

Eventually, the solution they came to at council is that Feanor will be last in line to use it due to his offences of hogging airtime. If he tries to go before his turn, the Palantir will not respond to him and not send his messages, it acts as a phone without service.

(A more detailed post on the Palantir is coming soon!)

When you are unwilling to send gifts in the beginning, each of the elves reacts differently.

Some Yandere have no shame and will outright demand audios or pictures of you, but this rudeness causes Mandos to hover over them and threaten to take the Palantir away, causing the elf in question to get bitchy and glare at Mandos.

In retaliation, Mandos would snatch the Palantir, and nobody gets it. He puts it on a high shelf in his office...Which results in the elves getting on each other’s shoulders to get at it.

Eventually, Mandos decided that he will allow visitors in, which means that the elves finally get to see their s/o! In advance, Mandos set up a system that goes as follows. If you were on good behaviour, you get these rewards:

•You get to see your s/o.

•You get a calendar to mark down the days until the next visit.

•You get more time to rail the reader.

•The ability to send their s/o letters and being allowed to have pictures and painting of their s/o in their room.

Feanor’s s/o doesn’t want to visit him at first, but eventually, they are forced to go because Feanor isn't behaving and Mandos is tired of it. So, they sent Eonwe to retrieve them.

Feanor would be a combination of happy yet disappointed if s/o had to bring to Mandos by force to visit him. He would be happy that you're there but when finds out that you were forced on him, he would feel so hurt.

When visiting finally does begin, it's utter madness. Mandos would have chains over the door whenever the reader comes to visit, especially if they are visiting Feanor. Mandos is very happy about you being there because Feanor is always on good behaviour whenever you’re there. As well as that, Feanor would rail the reader for hours on end when they come to visit.

When it comes to Fingolfin, he would be tamer if his s/o were to visit him. He understands that he just died, and they've been separated, so he’s willing to wait a while, or at least, after the 2nd or 3rd visit...then he just wants to rail his s/o and be warned, Fingolfin will make it so you can’t walk for a while.

Some Yanderes like Celegorm would try to keep their s/o with them in Mandos for longer by wearing out their legs. Glorfindel will just tie you to the bed to keep you there. However, there would be some Yandere like Fingolfin and Fingon who might let you go but the thought of you all to themselves might be too tempting.

When it comes to making excuses for not visiting, there are many different ways to go about doing it.

Say you had an argument with your yandere, and you decide to punish them by not coming back for a visit, you could do that, but then the elf might act up and Mandos would bring you back by force.

If you make the excuse that you’ve been sick, you better get ready for puppy eyes, tears and begging you not to leave when you finally do come to visit.

If you use the “I’m pregnant” excuse with Celegorm to explain why you haven’t or won't visit, he will break out to come to see you. Also, if you are telling the truth about being pregnant when you finally give birth and come to visit again, Celegorm would put his dick inside you from behind while you breastfeed your child.

If you and Feanor or Celegorm have had a baby, they would be expecting to see their child on visits, and they will also want for you to stay for longer so they can have more family time.

Now when it comes to leaving, your yandere doesn’t want you to go so they may try to trap you there. Now you could try to plead with Mandos to help you leave but he might just keep her there to save himself the trouble of having to deal with a misbehaving yandere.

However, the s/o can leave if they're fast enough. By that I mean, if they can get to the gates before the hourglass runs out, they can go home but that includes running across the hall with fluids dripping out. As well as that, their legs would be aching because of how much their yandere had railed them.

But say you do manage to escape, the yandere’s only source of contact with you will be by using the Palantir, and as soon as they’ve realised that you’ve escaped, they will be demanding that you send them audios, pictures, the works.

However, you may be unwilling to send pictures of yourself, so you may decide to send fake pictures, and by that, I mean, sending a picture of someone else, for example, a picture of the famous porn actress Belle Delphine could be used.

If you sent a fake picture to Feanor, he would immediately be like “Who is this? This isn’t you; her chest is lopsided, and her body is unproportionate!” He would then proceed to demand Mandos return that picture, even though Feanor already used his weekly time at the Palantir.

With Fingolfin, the only time he gets pissed is when he doesn't get his visits from s/o or if he gets pictures of Belle Delphine. He doesn’t want those; he wants audios of his s/o in the millions. (I’m serious, he’s pulled a dagger on Mandos and demanded hours’ worth of audios of you touching yourself before.)

If you constantly make excuses to not see Fingolfin, he will break into Rivendell and bring a vibrator with him. You can try to run from him, but Fingolfin is already chasing you throughout Rivendell.

This man would be full feral at this point, he hasn't had you in God knows how long so the second he grabs you; he’ll take you to the floor to rail you. Doesn't matter if you're in public or not.

(After this incident, Elrond and Erestor make the place of limits. So, because of this, a black market of bribery emerges. Erestor takes bribes of books and silence in his library.)

When sending things to Finwe, his preference is breast pictures or pictures of your face on the brink of orgasm. If you think playing play dumb will work with him, and decide to say, “What's an orgasm?” jokes on you, he has a corruption kink, and it turns him on when you pretend not to know what he's talking about.

If you didn’t send Finrod any goods it would upset him because he thought that you loved him and would want him to be a part of everything, and he thought that you loved him enough to send such photos.

On the unlikely occasion that a Palantir ends up sending your nude picture to another elf on accident, if that elf teases the Yandere, or says that they enjoyed the picture, they're gonna wind up dead.

Now eventually, the elves are allowed to leave Mandos. After leaving Mandos, all this portrait and audio business would be something that the elves never discuss. Everyone knows that they did it, but no one talks about it, if it’s even hinted at in public every elf in the vicinity freezes.

At least until Mandos starts expanding his services….

You see, Mandos realised the potential of his reward system and the thought eventually hit him. Why not expand?

So, in short, Mandos has become the Hugh Hefner of middle earth. It all started as a reward system. Now they’re expanding their services to living people. Hey, you're on guard duty in Lothlorien or fighting orcs in Rivendell? Well go to your local Palantir and order a portrait of your s/o. They have a Maiar deliver it straight to you, and if you're royalty, one of Manwe's eagles will have it delivered to you.

He even has bargains, like you know those 75% per cent off Bath and Bodyworks sale? Mando’s would so do that. Like 75% discount on catalogues and portraits.

Every 100 years or so Mando’s would clear out all the portraits and put them in catalogues. He would sell them to humans since it would seem new to them. Therefore, Mando’s saves money on making new material.

A quote from Mandos:

A Maiar: Is this even allowed?

Mandos: Don't care. I got a business to run.

[genshinobsession]

About the sentience au, i have no idea if u take request/ consider ideas so feel free to ignore

I got some thoughts so i hope u don't mind me ranting here hehe

But here's the thing, if the character somehow got to our world and found out that their life was created by someone for ppl to pass time and entertain themselves, what would be their reaction to the fandom (fics, ships, reader insert stuff, fanart and other fan made stuff), the creator (and them getting profit or being responsible for their suffering and creating them the way they are? Like flaws/ appearance/ personality n that shit), the gatcha, other characters that they knew, and just generally to the whole thing about them being a fictional character from a game in a different world

Thank you for coming to my ted talk <3

Sentience Au

characters included:

Diluc,Kaeya,Zhongli

(More is coming after, I just didn’t want there to be do much scrolling to get to the character you want)

Diluc

“So, what you’re saying is I’m from a video game, and I am a very desired character. And because of this many people draw pictures of me.” He asks, standing with his hand on his chin as he tried to process this.

You nodded and you got your phone and looked up a simple

“Diluc fanart”

And showed him the results.

He was a little put off now knowing that there were so many people watching him at all times. Not only were they were watching him but they liked him enough to draw him.

“Well, they all are very talented, but why is this one titled ‘Daddy Diluc’ with my shirt off?” He asked, and you snatched your phone from a him as quick as possible and closed out of whatever file or photo album he scrolled to.

With a nervous laugh you turned back to him hiding your phone, not wanting to admit to what he had seen.

“How about we look at some fanfics instead.” You suggested, changing tabs on your phone. You showed him the Tumblr thread as he began to scroll.

“And these are-?” He asked as he looked back at you.

“Stories about you and other characters, or somethings you and the person reading. Those are called self inserts.” You explained, he nodded, slightly understanding until he had scrolled to an NSFW story.

“What does NSFW stand for?” He asked, you shot up from your chair and smacked the phone out of his hand as quickly as possible.

“Okay maybe that’s not a good idea either.” You laughed nervously again as Diluc stared at you curiously. As far as he was concerned NSFW was just a couple of meaningless letters thrown together, but your reaction makes him think it was obviously more than that.

“How about I explain it this way. Because you’re a very desired character, many people are attracted to you,” You began. He nodded, understanding.

“myself included,” you mumbled, he didn’t catch it so you cleared your throat and continued.

“Many of them make art of you and other characters together and more often than not it’s because of a ship.”

Right at that moment you completely lost him. He looked at you confused,

“What do boats have anything to do with this?” He asked, his eyebrows were furrowed together as he tried to think of a logical way that a mode of water transport would have anything to do with him and other characters.

“No no, this kind of ship is a pairing of you and another character, like a relationSHIP.”

Diluc nodded in response,

“So wait, people pair me with other characters? Like who?” He asked, you sighed knowing the question was going to come up sooner or later.

“Well-“ you began as you listed off every person he had been shipped with. As you went on Dilucs face began to contort out of confusion and slight disgust.

“Just... don’t ask and we can both forget about it.” You suggested and he nodded in agreement.

“Gladly.”

Kaeya

“Well this is... interesting.” The blue haired man muttered as he had scrolled through the object that he held in his hands.

He had just seen it lying face up on the counter and his curiosity got the better of him.

And he was very surprised by what he saw.

Just, pages and pages and pages of him in different poses with different people, in varying levels of... intensity.

He was very confused at first, unsure of how to respond but as he wen through he realized each post had a red heart underneath it.

What could that possibly mean?

As he scrolled through he eventually got into the works of writing, all with the same ‘Kaeya x reader’ underneath their titles.

Before he could scroll any farther he heard the door creak open as you walked into the room with a warm joyous smile on your face.

Well until you saw Kaeya with your phone.

“Kaeya, why do you have my phone?” You asked, he looked down at the bright object then back at you.

“So that’s what it’s called, well you did just leave it open so I decided to have a look.” He admitted with a shrug.

You quickly snatched it from him and looked at it realizing he had been through all your posts that you had saved under the label ‘Kaeya’.

Your heart pace quickened out of embarrassment,

“How much did you see?” You asked, he chuckled and moved closer to you, he lightly lifted you chin so you’d look at him, he leaned into your ear and whispered,

“You seem to like me in some interesting positions.” He teased, and let go of your face.

You covered your face, not wanting to look at him.

“Oh, don’t be shy now, its quite cute that you like me that much. I find it, oddly endearing.” He admitted, patting your head lightly.

You finally took your head out of your hands as you looked up at him. He smiled at you as he leaned in close to your face yet again.

“Although, you should be more careful about having your ‘phone’ open to such a... suggestive image.” He teased yet again as you backed up from your face and walked out of the room.

You looked down at your phone which screen has been dimmed a bit, as you raised the brightness you saw a picture of Kaeya you definitely would not be able to unsee for a long while.

Zhongli

Zhongli is definitely a fan of stories,

But the stories he found were definitely not the ones he had in mind.

You didn’t know how to explain to Zhongli that he’s from a game and people all over the internet love and adore him, without showing him.

He doesn’t even know what technology is, let alone the fact people use it to create artwork of him.

“Traveler, I apologize if this is a bit odd, but I saw you looking at some paintings of me on your phone item. How do you have so many? Did you make them also yourself? You’re quite talented if so.” He asked, as you looked from him, to your phone, then back up to him.

He was just patiently standing infront of you, waiting for an answer.

You sighed slightly as you put down whatever you were doing and grabbed your phone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that not something I was supposed to bring up?” He asked, confused by your reaction.

You shook your head as you patted the spot next to you, gesturing for him to sit down next to him.

“No no, you were going to find out sooner or later.” You said as he politely sat down next to you and faced you, ready to listen to whatever story or explanation you were going to give him.

As you explained he asked a few questions, which you answered as best you could.

After you explained how the world Zhongli came from was not exactly real, he was just a character in a video game, and because of that, many people around the world love him and make things to show their love and appreciation for him.

He nodded, trying to understand,

“Well that’s definitely not what I expected. I’ve always had some sort of following but this, admittedly was not what I expected. So all of these people know about Rex Lapis?” He asked, to which you nodded in response.

“I see, well. There’s not much I can to about it now I suppose.” He said, turning back to you with a slight sigh. All the effort putting into hiding and it was, somewhat for nothing.

Liyue was going to have to learn how to be on their own regardless, so leaving wasn’t going to affect them to much, which was comforting to him.

“Thank you, traveler, for answering my question. I understand it was probably hard to explain this to me but I believe I understand now.” He thanked, you nodded accepting it and smiled at him.

However, your smile faltered when you saw Zhongli so lost in thought. You supposed it was because he basically left behind the only thing he’s every known.

You lightly put your hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Hey, Why don’t we make some tea, I feel like you’d want to try these flavours.” You said, as he looked back over to you, he recognized this as a way to cheer him up and appreciated it.

“That would be wonderful.”

(Next part coming out is ‘they escape Part 2 pocket edition’)

-Birdy

[capseycartwright]

but at the cost I payed, I'm pretty sure I got screwed

buck wasn't exactly sure how to process the fact he'd been lied to, his entire life - that his parents had forced maddie to keep such a fundamental part of his past, his life, from him. but - at least he wasn't alone.

or - eight conversations between buck and his true family as he comes to terms with the existence of the brother he never knew he had. set post 4x04

ao3 link

i. albert

Buck had forgotten that Albert would be home, when he managed to stumble through his own front door – breath catching in his chest as he tried to process the bombshell Maddie had just dropped on his life. Maybe – maybe it was rude of him, cruel to forget that he shared his apartment with the younger man, that Albert lived on his couch, but Buck had forgotten, and how he wasn’t sure of a kind way to tell Albert that if he had to have a conversation with another human being, there and then, that he would scream.

And he might not be able to stop screaming.

Albert was looking at him with genuine concern written all over his face, sliding the pan he was using to cook off the hob, so it wouldn’t burn. “Are you okay, Buck?” he asked, and Buck knew he could talk to Albert, and he would try to understand; burdened by his own family issues in ways that would make it easier to admit the insanity of the Buckley family aloud.

But Buck couldn’t.

“That’s kind of a loaded question, Albert,” Buck managed to choke the words out, anxiety clawing at his chest.

Albert inclined his head slightly. “Okay,” he conceded. “Are you well enough to be here, alone – or as alone as you can be with me, here,” he grinned slightly at his own words. “Or do you need me to call someone?”

“I don’t think I know,” Buck admitted, forcing himself to sit at the kitchen table, his blood thundering in his ears as he tried to process everything.

He had a brother. He has a brother – even if that brother wasn’t alive, anymore. Buck had a brother – he wasn’t the only Buckley boy, like he’d believed for so much of his life. For twenty-nine years, he’d thought Maddie was his only sibling, but she wasn’t, and Buck’s entire world felt like it had been spun on its axis and nothing made sense, anymore; but somehow everything made more sense than it ever had before, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

Albert pushed a glass of water toward him, a kind look on his face.

“I don’t think I can talk about it, yet,” Buck admitted, the cool condensation dripping down the side of the glass – a housewarming gift from Hen and Karen, glasses nicer than he’d ever buy himself, if he was being honest – grounding in the way it reminded Buck that he wasn’t dreaming, the glass wet to touch.

“That’s okay,” Albert shrugged. “I can talk, instead, if you want.”

Buck could have cried, with relief. “Yeah, that would be great, Albert.”

Albert grinned. “Okay,” he nodded, moving his pan back onto the hob. “So – I had an online class, today, and one of my classmates, they were clearly not paying attention, but as it turns out, they had taken a series of photos of themselves, and were playing it as a video……..”

Buck forced himself to focus on Albert’s words, his roommate talking about the perfectly mundane happenings of his day, how his online classes went, how their neighbour down the hall still firmly believed he and Buck were a couple, and how its quite sweet, really, because she’s trying her hardest to make sure that they know she accepts them, and she’ll be dropping by a loaf of banana bread, in the morning.

It wasn’t until Albert set a bowl down in front of Buck, a simple pasta dish that made Buck’s stomach growl in acknowledgement of how hungry he was, that Buck spoke, looking at his roommate – his friend – with watery eyes.

“Thank you,” Buck managed to sputter out.

Albert shrugged. “You need to eat,” he said, pushing a fork toward Buck. “My grandmother – she always said that the problems of the world looked a little less daunting, when you looked at them with a full stomach.”

“I don’t just mean for the food,” Buck croaked, though he was grateful for the food – because he wasn’t sure if he had the mental energy to try and make himself dinner, to remember how to cook any of the ingredients that sat in his well-stocked kitchen. “I mean – for taking me out of my head, for a minute.”

Albert smiled, in that endearingly sincere way he always did, Chimney’s brother always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. “What are roommates for?”

ii. bobby

It’s not as though Buck particularly wanted to tell Bobby, about what was going on – but after the incident at the fire, after the way Buck had been acting, he knew he had to, he knew that he had to admit to his boss what was happening. He’d been insufferable to work with, Buck knew, and his boss was owed an explanation.

What Buck hadn’t expected was Bobby’s reaction. It wasn’t – it wasn’t the reaction of a Captain, a professional acknowledgement of a personal trauma that Buck wasn’t able to compartmentalise and leave at home, like he was supposed to, it was the reaction of a friend, Bobby pulling Buck in for a determined, bone-crushing hug.

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” Bobby’s voice was calm, against the sea of static that was buzzing in Buck’s head, something Buck could cling to as he stood, still as a statue, in Bobby’s embrace.

“You didn’t do anything,” Buck found himself saying, confused.

Bobby pulled back, hands on Buck’s shoulders. “I can be sorry, even if I didn’t have a role to play in this,” he said. “Buck, I’m sorry for you as your friend – what your parents hid from you, it was cruel. You didn’t deserve to be lied to like that.”

Buck swallowed his tears, focusing his gaze on one of the photos hanging on the back wall of Bobby’s office. “Their kid died,” he said, voice robotic as he voiced the sentence he’d practiced over, and over. “I can’t blame them.”

“Yes, you can,” Bobby’s voice was fierce. “Buck – I had to bury my own children. That is a pain I will never forget, and one I will live with for the rest of my life. I can’t even begin to describe to you what that grief, the grief of losing a child, feels like, and I hope you never, ever understand it,” he said. “But I have never put the burden of that grief on May, or Harry. Your parents had no right to force you, and Maddie, to bear their grief in the way they did. It was wrong. It is wrong.”

Buck hated how easily he was crying – how easily he’d always been reduced to tears, too soft, too emotional, not enough of a tough guy to please his father. “It was?” his voice was tiny as he spoke, unsure if he could take Bobby’s words at face value. Was Bobby saying that just to placate him? To make it so he could suck it up, and work?

“Yes, Buck,” Bobby’s voice was firm. “It was wrong – and no one in this team is going to begrudge you the time you need to process this. We’re your family, and we’re here for you. Okay? I’m here for you Buck, whatever you need.”

Buck hadn’t been hugged a lot, as a kid – not by his parents, at least. That was a pitifully sad thing to admit, but it was the truth – for all the ways Maddie had been kind, and affectionate, pressing kisses to Buck’s curls and hugging him close, his parents had been cold, and physically distant, never giving Buck more than a pat on the shoulder.

He knew why, now. They looked at him and all they saw was Daniel – all they ever saw was the son who would forever be twelve, frozen in time. They had watched him grow up, and maybe he was tolerable, when he was younger, when he was going through all the same phases that Daniel had – but as soon as Buck had turned thirteen, and lived longer than the brother he didn’t know existed, his parents had kept their distance more, and more, and then Maddie had left, and Buck had been left to crave physical affection, taking that intimacy wherever he could get it, regardless of the impact it had on him, regardless of how it would all leave him feeling even lonelier, when it was over.

But –

Bobby was a dad.

Not his dad –

But someone’s dad.

“Could I…” Buck cut himself off, embarrassed. “Could I have another hug, Bobby?”

Bobby’s eyes were sad, and full of sympathy – but not pity, Buck noted. “Yeah, kid,” Bobby said, pulling him in for a hug, Buck forced to stoop a little, to match Bobby’s height, comfortable in the embrace, this time. “You can have a hug.”

iii. hen

“Hey there, Buckaroo.”

Buck looked up to see Hen approaching him, doughnut in hand.

“You were missing out on the sugar delivery,” Hen explained, hanging him the plate. “So I snagged you your favourite flavour.”

Buck wanted to cry. “You didn’t have to do that, Hen.”

Hen shrugged, sliding down the wall so she was sitting on the concrete next to him, the bright sun of the Los Angeles afternoon beating down on them, the corner they were sitting in slightly secluded, distant from the noise of the firehouse that Buck normally thrived in – just, not today.

“I wanted to,” she said, taking a bite of her own doughnut – cinnamon sugar, Buck noted, her favourite. She’d always been the one to support Buck’s belief that simple was best, when it came to doughnuts, never making fun of Buck’s preference for plain old raspberry jelly flavour; unlike Chimney and the rest of the team, who favoured the hipster doughnut place around the corner from the station, and all the weird flavours they sold.

“Because you feel sorry for me?” Buck found himself asking.

“Because you’re my friend,” Hen corrected, nudging Buck’s knee with her own. “And I can see you’re hurting, Buck, so I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Buck knew he didn’t look the best, rocking up to their shift that morning – his eyes were red raw from crying, because he was in that stage of processing it all, now (Dr. Copeland had assured him that crying was a perfectly healthy trauma response, but Buck was tired of Albert’s quietly concerned looks, because apparently even crying alone in his shower didn’t guarantee privacy in the tiny space they co-existed in.)

He just hadn’t realised he looked that bad.

“I guess you know, then,” Buck murmured, poking at his doughnut. He’d given Bobby permission to tell the team, if he felt it was appropriate – he just hadn’t been able to face the prospect of telling them himself.

“No,” Hen’s voice was firm. “Whatever is going on with you, is your story to tell, Buck. Unless you want to tell me, I have no intention of finding out what is happening.”

Buck shot her a confused look.

“Chimney, he gave me the impression that whatever you’ve found out, is something that was kept from you by the people you love most in the world, and you didn’t have a choice in who found out, because Maddie told him first, and when – and when you got trapped, in that fire, Chimney panicked and told some of the team,” Hen said, explaining what Buck already knew – what Chimney had already desperately apologised for, terrified that Buck’s newfound knowledge of his dead brother had pushed him from resident daredevil to on the verge of suicidal.

Buck didn’t blame him, really.

“I didn’t hear the secret, at the fire,” Hen said. “And I asked Bobby not to tell me. I want you to be able to tell at least one person, on your own terms, if you want to tell me. And if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay too – I just want you to have the option. I’m happy to be the friend who doesn’t know, if that’s what you need.”

Hen’s sincerity was making Buck want to cry again, his friend looking at him earnestly as she spoke. He knew that if he asked her, Hen would do her best to never find out what Buck’s secret was – Hen was good with secrets – and Buck wasn’t sure how to voice his appreciation out loud in a way that felt appropriate for the magnitude of what Hen was offering him.

Peace.

The power to take control of his own situation.

Buck hadn’t felt in control from the moment he had picked up that photograph of Daniel, and Maddie had admitted who it was, but now, for a second, at least, he felt in control.

“I had a brother,” Buck admitted, hot, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. “I had a brother, and they never told me – they kept him from me. For my whole life, they kept him from me, Hen.”

“Oh, Buck,” Hen’s voice was thick with emotion as she spoke. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

“I know – I know it wouldn’t have change the fact he died, when I was a baby,” Buck continued, managing to talk about it, even just a little, for the first time since he’d found out. “But I deserved to know, Hen.”

“Yes, you did,” Hen was fierce in her agreement. “They had no right to keep his existence from you, Buck.”

“It explains it, you know,” Buck glanced at Hen, the protectiveness that was written all over her face making his heart twist in his chest. “Why they never loved me, not really – I was never Daniel.”

“I’m not even going to pretend to understand your parents,” Hen said, wrapping her arms around Buck’s shoulders, pulling him close, running a hand through his curls, the same way Maddie used to, when he was younger. “But I’ll tell you something for nothing, Buck; I love you. I love you like a brother, and I know its not the same, but I love you. And loving you has been damn easy, from the moment you stepped into this fire station – because you have a heart of goddamn gold, Buck. And your parents inability to see that is not your fault.”

Buck let out a shuddering sigh, leaning into the comforting embrace Hen was offering him. “I’m not sure if I believe you, Hen.”

“That’s okay,” Hen reassured. “I’ll keep reminding you until you do.”

“You will?”

“I will,” Hen confirmed. “Because that’s what family does, Buck. Now – eat your doughnut before we get called out.”

iv. chimney

Buck hated the tentative way that his friend – and teammate, and future brother-in-law, probably – approached him, looking nervous. He hated it – and he hated how he didn’t have it in him to put a stop to it, just yet.

“Hey, Buck,” Chimney greeted.

Buck paused what he was doing, the chrome of the ladder truck already gleaming from the thorough polish he had given it. “Are you here as my sisters boyfriend, Chimney, or my friend?”

“As your friend,” Chimney answered without a second’s hesitation, which Buck had to admit he appreciated.

“Okay,” Buck put the polish down entirely, nodding. “Because I’m not ready to talk to Maddie about this yet.”

“She knows,” Chimney nodded, quiet for a second. “I wanted to talk to you as my friend, Buck, because – and I would walk through fire for your sister – you were my friend before I ever met Maddie, and I don’t want you to forget that. I care about you as more than just my girlfriends brother, Buck, and I’m – I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

Buck didn’t have a reason not to believe Chimney – really, he didn’t. “I’m still angry,” he admitted. “That you knew before I did. You had no right to know before I did, Chim.”

“I know,” Chimney agreed, rocking forward on his heels as he spoke. “I wish I didn’t know, Buck,” he said. “I wish I hadn’t found out before you. I – I said, from the moment I knew, that you deserved to know, but as much as it wasn’t my place to know before you, it wasn’t my place to tell you. It needed to come from Maddie, and your parents.”

Buck nodded. It was true – that it would have been worse to hear it from Chimney, and not Maddie, or his mom and dad. Of all the people to hear it from, Chimney would have been the worst one. It should have come from his parents, really – from the people who’d forced a child, their daughter, to keep their older brother’s existence a secret their entire lives. Maddie had been nine, when she’d been forced to pretend Daniel had never existed. She couldn’t have possibly understood the consequences of their parents refusal to acknowledge that Daniel had been a part of their lives, once.

“I know,” Buck said finally. “I know, Chim. I just – I can’t pretend like I’m feeling all that logical, about all of this. I’m trying – I’m just not there yet.”

Chimney’s expression was genuinely understanding. “You don’t need to be logical about this, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re entitled to deal with this and grieve – and be angry as hell – in whatever way works best for you. I just – I wanted to know that I’m here for you, that I’m your friend. And if you need to talk to me, I can be your friend – and just your friend, not Maddie’s boyfriend. What we talk about, it stays between me and you, Buck.”

Buck gave Chimney a grateful smile. “Thank you, Chim,” he said, awkwardly wringing his polish rag between his hands, twisting, and pulling, the material taut in his hands. “I just don’t think I’m ready to talk about it with anyone, yet.”

And that was the truth of it –

Buck wasn’t ready to talk about it with anyone, not his friends, not Maddie, not even with his therapist – not yet.

“Then let’s talk about something else,” Chimney said, grabbing another polish rag, smirking at Buck. “Like your terrible polish job.”

Buck glared good-naturedly at Chimney. “I’m not a probie anymore, Chim, don’t start this.”

Chimney whistled cheerfully as he started to polish, grinning. “You’ll always be a probie to me, Buckaroo.”

v. athena

Buck hadn’t seen Athena in a while – their calls didn’t actually crossover, all that much, so it wasn’t all that unusual to have not seen her in a few weeks. A part of Buck was glad – and not because he didn’t love Athena, but he wasn’t sure if he could cope with seeing the anger she carried on his behalf in person. Buck didn’t like when other people felt burdened by his issues.

“Buck.”

Buck paused, halfway back to the truck. He couldn’t exactly ignore his Captain’s wife – or anyone, for that matter. Maddie (Maddie, always Maddie, not their parents) had raised him better than that, had raised him to be polite. “Hi, Athena.”

“I know you’re not ready to talk about it,” Athena said, hands on hips, stance fierce and protective and everything Buck never had in a mother. He was glad, May and Harry had her, at least. “But I wanted you to know – parents shouldn’t lie to their children the ways yours have lied to you. It’s cruel, and I’m sorry it happened to you, Buck.”

Buck didn’t quite know what to say. “Uh – thank you?”

“I’m not trying to overstep,” Athena raised her hands in surrender. “I’m not your mother. I’m your friend, though, Buck – and I’m someone’s mom, and I can’t stand the thought of you thinking that your parents did all this out of some twisted sense of protection for you, and Maddie. Parents – however hard – should teach you how to grieve. Not teach you to be invisible as a punishment for something you never knew happened.”

Buck nodded, shaking hands gripping tightly to his halogen. “You’re a great mom, Athena,” he said quietly.

“And you’re a great man, Evan Buckley,” Athena gave his elbow a squeeze. “I just thought you should hear that from someone today.”

vi. christopher

Buck had an armful of Christopher the second he walked through the front door of the Diaz household, the little boy flying at him, crutches and all. “Oh, hey, buddy,” Buck laughed, easily scooping a wriggling Christopher up, easing his crutches off of his arms so he could hug him properly.

“I’m glad you’re here, Buck!” Christopher said, grinning widely at Buck, his new braces glinting in the soft light of the evening, reminding Buck of how grown up the kid in his arms was getting – on the cusp of his teenage years, all too soon.

“I’m glad I’m here too, buddy,” Buck replied, holding Christopher close. He wasn’t even the kids dad – and he couldn’t imagine ever lying to him, like his parents had to him, couldn’t imagine doing anything except loving the little boy with everything he had.

“Dad said you’ve had a bad week,” Christopher said matter-of-factly. “So we have a surprise for you.”

“Oh, you do?” Buck gave Christopher a watery smile, flashing Eddie a confused look.

Eddie raised his hands in surrender. “It was all this guy,” he said proudly. “I just did the driving.”

Buck laughed, looking back at Christopher. “Where are we going, then?”

“Kitchen!”

Tossing a giggling Christopher over his shoulder, Buck made his way to the kitchen, Christopher chatting excitedly as he moved. Buck felt like he was going to cry – really, properly cry – when he spotted the feast of all of his favourite things on the Diaz kitchen table.

“We got all your favourites!” Christopher explained. “Popcorn, and chocolate – and pizza! And we’re going to watch Inside Out, because its your favourite film, and me and dad, we’re going to make sure you feel better, Buck.”

Buck wiped roughly at his eyes. This kid. “I already feel better, buddy.”

Christopher’s brow was furrowed. “But you’re crying.”

“People can cry when they’re happy, Chris,” Eddie explained, running a soothing hand down Buck’s back. “It doesn’t always mean someone is sad.”

“Your dad is right,” Buck confirmed. “I’m crying because I’m happy – and I’m very grateful to have such a thoughtful kid taking care of me.”

Christopher grinned again, patting a sticky hand against Buck’s cheek. “You’re gonna be o-kay, kid,” he beamed, and for the first time, Buck almost believed it.

vii. eddie

“He’s out like a light,” Buck said softly, half closing the porch door behind them – enough that they wouldn’t wake Christopher, with their conversation, but still open enough that they’d be able to hear if Christopher woke up in the night.

Christopher had insisted on Buck being the one to put him to bed, that night, despite how hard Eddie tried to get Christopher to give Buck a break – but Buck had enjoyed the routine of it all, if he was being honest, Christopher’s happy snorts as Buck (badly) danced around the bathroom while Christopher brushed his teeth making him forget the car-wreck his life was for a few minutes, at least.

Eddie nodded, nudging a beer toward Buck. “You spoil him, you know,” he said, not a hint of annoyance in his voice. “I know you read him two chapters of his book, not one.”

Buck hummed gratefully. “I know,” he said, voice dropping. “Kids deserve to be spoiled, a bit at least.”

“How are you doing Buck? Really?” Eddie asked, and Buck felt a dam inside him break – he’d kept everything he was feeling so bottled up, for so long, and all of a sudden, on his best friends back porch, it all came pouring out, tears cascading down his cheeks.

“I had a brother,” Buck hiccupped out, bordering on hysterical as he cried, Eddie moving quickly so he was crouching in front of Buck, soothing hands on Buck’s knees. “I had a brother, Eddie.”

Eddie’s face was twisted, a mixture of heartbreak and sympathy. “I know, Buck,” he soothed softly, gentle hands wiping at Buck’s tears, taking Buck’s hands in his own, grounding Buck in the new reality he had found himself in, the past few weeks – a world where he was suddenly the youngest of three siblings, the third Buckley, not the second.

“I always wanted a brother,” Buck admitted out-loud for the first time, unable to stop his tears, gripping tightly to Eddie’s hands. “I love – I love Maddie, but I always wanted a brother, too, and I had one, and I didn’t know, and I can’t stop thinking about how different life might have been if he was still around. He was ten years older than me.”

Eddie was quiet.

“His name was Daniel,” Buck said, shakily voicing his brothers name out-loud for the first time to someone other than maybe. “His name was Daniel, and he was ten years older than me, and I’d have been a really good brother to him, and that’s all I know, and I just – I wish I knew more.”

“You know,” Eddie’s voice was soft, and reassuring, comforting and grounding in ways that Buck wasn’t sure how he ever lived without before, his best friend the kind of anchor Buck needed, in his life. “I bet Maddie knows more.”

“Eddie….”

“I know it hurts,” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hands, his expression encouraging as Buck forced himself to look at the older man. “And it’s going to hurt for a long time, Buck, and I’m sorry for that – but you’re not alone in that hurt. Me, Chris, Hen – the others – we’re here, and we love you, and we’ll do our best to understand, but there’s one person in the world that shares this hurt with you.”

“But she knew, Eddie, she knew all along, and she didn’t tell me – and I know she was a kid and it wasn’t her fault, but it still hurts, because she got to know him and grieve him, and I didn’t.”

“Did she?” Eddie countered, wise as ever now he went to regular therapy. “She had to pretend he didn’t exist. To grieve properly – you need to talk about the person, about who they were, and Maddie didn’t get to do that. As much as she can help you get to know who Daniel was, you can help her grieve the brother she wasn’t allowed to remember. I can’t help you do that.”

Buck tightened his grip on Eddie’s hands. “I can’t, not yet,” he admitted hoarsely. “Not tonight.”

“No,” Eddie hummed his agreement. “Tonight its just you and me, and the rest of these beers, and as much crying as you want. Okay?”

Buck laughed. Back when he first met Eddie, he could never have imagined their friendship getting to this point – to where they could sit, and talk, and drink and cry together. Somehow, somewhere along the way, they’d created this safe space, together, and Buck had never been more grateful for his best friend than he was, there and then.

He had a brother.

And tonight – tonight was the first time he’d said that out loud and hadn’t felt bitter, and angry, about it. Tonight had been the first time he’d said those words out loud and wondered who the person was, who Daniel had been – instead of focusing on the lies, the hurt of it all.

That was progress.

Swallowing thickly, Buck wiped at his sore eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he directed his question at Eddie.

“Anything?” Eddie’s lips quirked up in the beginnings of a smile.

“Anything,” Buck confirmed.

Eddie grinned. “Did you know - nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine?”

Buck snorted, the sound outrageously loud in the quiet of the evening. “I don’t want to know how you know that.”

(He knew – of course he knew. Eddie was the only person who knew exactly how to bring Buck out of his own head, with odd facts and quirky news articles, anything to distract Buck from the overwhelming noise of his own thoughts).

Eddie took a swig of his beer, smiling contently. “You’re not the only one who can know weird things.”

viii. maddie

When she opened the door, Maddie greeted Buck with a relief he didn’t feel deserving to be on the receiving end of.

“I’m sorry, Maddie.”

“No,” Maddie interrupted, pulling him close, clinging tightly to his shoulders, refusing to let her pregnant belly be an obstacle to squeezing the life out of Buck – and he couldn’t say he was opposed to a bone-crushing hug from his sister. “You don’t need to apologise, Buck, not to me – not about this. I should be apologising to you.”

Buck pressed his face into the material of Maddie’s cardigan, breathing in the familiar scent of her perfume. She’d worn the same one since she was a teenager, and in the years when they weren’t in contact, Buck – well, he’d sometimes go to the perfume section of the department store, and sneak a sample, desperate to feel close to his sister, even if Doug had long since cut her off from him.

“I can’t hear you,” Maddie admitted, her voice soft as she ran a gentle hand through Buck’s hair.

“I said,” Buck pulled back slightly, Maddie’s tears reflecting his own. “I know we’ve got a lot to talk about – but uh, Maddie, will you tell me about him?”

Maddie brushed away a few stray tears of Buck’s before they had the chance to drip from his chin, nodding. “I’d really like that,” she confirmed, tugging Buck toward the couch. Her baby box was still on the coffee table, a photograph of Daniel – the same one Buck had found – propped up against the wood, another one next to it.

Of the three of them.

Buck looked as though he couldn’t be more than a few weeks old, in the photograph, Maddie proudly holding him in her arms, a little boy who was familiar, in so many ways, hair blond and bright like Buck’s had been, as a child – and unfamiliar in so many others, a kid who would forever be twelve years old.

“Is that us?” Buck asked, doing his best to fold his long limbs, curling himself up against Maddie, thinking back to when they were kids, and all the evenings they’d do the same – Buck curled up in her lap as they watched TV, or as Maddie soothed his tears after a fight with their parents. Her belly got in the way, a bit, and a part of Buck’s heart ached with the knowledge that someone else, his niece, would curl up in Maddie’s lap the same way he used to, in just a matter of months, but he pushed the thought aside.

“I told everyone you were my baby,” Maddie said, sounding like she was smiling. “Oh, I loved you so much from the moment you were born, Buck, and I wouldn’t let Daniel go near you – because you were mine.”

Buck didn’t try and stop his tears, now.

“He loved you just as much,” Maddie continued. “He would tell dad, how excited he was to be able to teach you to play soccer, one day, and ride a bike.”

All the things Maddie had taught him, in the end, Buck thought to himself.

“He picked your middle name,” Maddie continued. “Because he had a best friend called EJ, and he told mom and dad that you should have the same initials – Evan James - because you were going to be his new best friend.”

Closing his eyes, Buck let Maddie’s words wash over him, painting a picture of someone he would never have the chance to know – but loved, Buck thought, all the same, because Daniel couldn’t have known, how life would turn out without him, because he had only been a kid, when he died – and he wouldn’t have understood.

“He’d be proud of you, I think,” Maddie said quietly, pressing a kiss to Buck’s curls. “Because I am, Buck, I am so proud of you. You are not a disappointment. You are the greatest man I have ever known and I am so proud of you, and I love you, and I’ll tell everyone the same thing I told them when I was eight and I held you for the first time. You’re mine, Buck, not theirs.”

Buck nodded, not trusting himself to open his eyes. “I love you, Maddie.”

“I love you, little brother,” Maddie sounded like she was crying too, now. “We’re going to be okay.”

Buck –

Well, he didn’t have a reason not to believe his sister.

He wanted to believe her.

And maybe –

Just maybe.

He already did.

Yeah.

They would be okay.

[wanderlustinwonderland18]

Stepanova & Bukin: “Our Fans Really Want Us To Be Together”

How do you feel about being the new Russian National Champions?

Vanya: Wow! To be honest, we didn't get enough sleep. It was a busy time. We sat, talked with the team, discussed a lot. This was our first competition in a long time, so we were a little exhausted.

Sasha: So far, we don't really feel that something major has happened, but the assessment of our coaches is very important for us. They didn't know how we would perform. Yes, the coaches did everything to make us perform well. But from the very start, everything depended only on us... And we managed to perform well so many thanks to our team for this.

Vanya: In general, we liked everything very much. We missed the audience a lot and we hope to perform somewhere else soon. Yes, there are nerves, but they are very pleasant nerves. Competition is great.

Is this national title the main award of your career?

Sasha: No. We have silver and bronze medals from European Championships. We have also performed well at World Championships. The situation here is completely different in all aspects. We had a different task... But overall, we are very pleased with the title of Russian National Champions.

Vanya: Yes, indeed, this is the first time for us. The support was great. Even though the arena was only 35 percent capacity, we felt incredible warmth.

Is the lack of vivid emotions due to the fact your main competitors were not here?

Sasha: Yes, many skaters were missing in Chelyabinsk. It’s a pity that this is the case. We, ourselves, were not able to participate in early competitions such as the Grand Prix in Moscow.

Vanya: For instance, Dima Aliev did not compete here although we were expecting him. We are friends with him, and we communicate a lot. We hope to meet the entire Russian team after the New Year.

Did this situation personally blur the impression of the Russian Championships?

Sasha: Of course. In addition, the federation indicated that this is not the final selection for the World Championships. We simply perceived it as a certain stage where we need to show what we are capable of.

Vanya: On the other hand, the fact that it was our first competition in a long time added more importance to it.

Is it a shame that Europeans got cancelled, while everything goes well in other sports?

Vanya: Of course, it's upsetting.

Sasha: I don’t really follow what is happening in other sports, but the cancellation of our Europeans was not a surprise. Everything pointed towards this direction gradually. We were ready for this news. We understand that holding a competition in such conditions is difficult and unsafe.

How do you feel now?

Sasha: I’m good now, thanks.

Vanya: Yes, we have already recovered.

You guys joked at the press conference that you were unlucky, because you were ill with COVID at different times.

(Sasha and Vanya laugh)

Sasha: Well, yes, we were really out of luck.

How did this happen? You spend so much time together.

Sasha: At first, I just caught a cold. There was bronchitis or something like that. I got better and then fell ill again, but with COVID. I don't know why that happened, but after I got sick, the coaches and Vanya fell ill.

Vanya: Why this happened is still a mystery to us. It is very incomprehensible.

How did you handle the disease?

Vanya: It was not easy. I had palpable lung damage. The temperature was monitored for a very long time, and the dose of antibiotics was quite strong. The hardest part is not how I got sick, but how I went back to the ice. It was very strange and a little scary.

Sasha: You may be fine at home, but as soon as you go out on the ice, you immediately start coughing due to the cold air and the slightest exertion. Usually for us, skating in circles is nothing at all... But after the illness, the body perceives it as a serious threat and reacts instantly. It is scary. You start thinking: "How am I going to skate now?"

Did it come to hospitalizations?

Sasha and Vanya: No.

Vanya: Fortunately, it didn't come to that. I didn't have extreme temperatures (around 37.5 to 38 only). The only problem is that it lasted a long time. Sasha’s condition was different though. High temperatures in the beginning, but the illness quickly disappeared.

Sasha: In my case, it started with a common cold, then the whole body began to ache. I came back from training and it felt like someone was breaking all my bones from the inside. Then, body temperature began to rise. The maximum was over 39. I immediately took antibiotics. The state itself was unpleasant - you go to the kitchen, or to the bathroom and you are already very tired. You also hear how you breathe.

Sasha, I looked at your Instagram and came to the conclusion that you love black and white tones. Why is that?

Sasha: In black and white, there is...

Vanya: Magic.

Sasha: Yes, some kind of charm. Many photographs look better in black and white. I like the lines and shadows.

Do you hear from fans a lot?

Sasha: Very much! Just yesterday, one fan gave gifts through the coaches. She loves our group very much, follows us to all competitions. From my understanding, she is not alone. It is just her who communicates with us. I called for a photo session, but unfortunately, this has not yet happened because of the virus situation. But yes, they write a lot! They post stories, write long messages. Sometimes I read and tears come, people give a lot of themselves. You think how this is possible. Many are busy with family and work, but they take time for us.

Vanya: Most of the times, they post our reactions to performances. This has already become a meme! We have been compared to animals. Sasha recently reposted a picture where I am a dog who smiles, and she is a serious cat. In many shots, myself and Irina Vasilievna (Zhuk) are explosive, and Sasha and Alexander Vasilievich (Svinin) are more restrained. It’s cool and funny!

Does this reflect your nature?

Vanya: I’m probably more emotional after performances. I keep everything to myself so much that it just breaks at the end. Sasha, on the other hand, gives so much to the performances and at the end, she has nothing left.

Are you offended by any comments?

Vanya: Some comments are very interesting. There have certainly been times where I wanted to respond, but realized that it was pointless. It is nonsense.

Sasha: Because you will be invested in it.

Vanya: Now, I laugh at such comments. If a person doesn't like something and expresses their opinion, please, especially if it is really constructive criticism. When you see that this is not the first time a person has written, and really understands figure skating, you can listen to this... But there are some that just write for the sake of saying something.

Sasha: Yes, there are some who throw out unnecessary emotions based on nothing.

Has it ever happened that thanks to a person's comment, you changed something in your performance?

Vanya: A couple of times.

Sasha: It is not with regards to steps and technical issues though. Most comments are like “I want power, brightness.” At such moments, you can reconsider and decide that, indeed, something is missing somewhere.

It happens that unpleasant things are written by fans of other teams.

Vanya: I'm okay with this, but if you like another couple, why are you writing under our post? Go to your guys and write good things.

Sasha, you are sometimes compared to Victoria Sinitsina? Are you okay with this?

Sasha: Yes, absolutely! We sometimes laugh about our similarities. We also have common views on wardrobe sometimes.

What about the comments that you and Vanya would make a good pair in real life?

Sasha: It's fun too.

Vanya: On one hand, that is a compliment because it means that we can show real emotions on the ice. People believe in our story and think that we are also together behind the scenes... But we have already said many times that we are not a couple in real life, so it is quite strange when people ask about this.

Sasha: It's very cute though!

Vanya: Those who have been with us for a long time know that we are not together, but our fans really want us to be together.

Do you follow the situation regarding Russia's two-year sentence? You guys already had some bad experiences in the past with this decision.

Sasha: Yes, we heard this news. As far as I understand, the consequences could be much worse - all athletes from Russia could be expelled indiscriminately. They could say, "Russia, goodbye." But we are still allowed to compete. Let it be without the anthem at the World Championships and the Olympics, but on our form, the name of the country can still be written. This is already pleasant for us. I do not know all the little details, but in this situation, I want to find something positive.

Vanya: Of course, we are upset, because this is our country. We would very much like to perform with the flag and anthem. But the decision has been made, and nothing can be done. We will calmly prepare for all the major competitions. It remains to be seen how athletes will be admitted to the Olympics.

What would you change in ice dance to make it more popular?

Vanya: Ice Dance is a very creative sport. Everything should look simple, easy, and unpredictable with us. In my opinion, to make our sport more popular, teams must be given more freedom for creativity. Then, the couples will not be alike. We have many rules that do not allow us to go beyond.

Sasha: In general, the rules are made for judges. Previously, ice dance judging was based on "like it or not like it."

Do you have long-term career plans?

Vanya: This season has shown that it is difficult to plan the future. We have decided to live day by day, and prepare for specific events. There have been many times where we plan a lot, and in the end, the plan does not come true.

Do you think about life after sports?

Sasha: I do not have any serious thoughts. Maybe participate in shows, but there are no specific plans. However, I can definitely say that I want to stay in figure skating and take a new role in the sport. For now, we still have a lot to accomplish. We have just reached the top level. We have just started receiving recognition from the audience.

Vanya: And we are very grateful to our fans. When new broke out that we were sick, many wrote to us and supported us. It is really motivating!

Do you have plans for the New Year holidays?

Sasha: I would like to go to the skating rink in front of the Red Square. I have never been to massive street skating rinks, so I want to feel this atmosphere.

Vanya: Oh cool! Let's go and invite everyone!

A small wish to your fans at the end of the interview?

Sasha: Health and love. Be happy no matter what. Live everyday.

Vanya: To make all your dreams come true in the New Year.

[toflyandfall]

I just saw a photo of "What persona. Dick Grayson isn't a mask. Not like Bruce Wayne is" from Detective Comics #725 and I find it interesting that Dick and the rest of the bats, with the exception of Bruce, don't wear "masks" per se. They are who they are with or without the domino mask/helmet. The only time I can really think of Dick faking things is when he pretended to be an incompetent BPD cop. How was he able to avoid creating and living, half the time, through a "persona" like "Brucie"?

Oooh, this is a lovely, meaty question.  There’s a lot more analysis of Bruce than I planned because let’s be real, it’s kinda weirder for a guy to run around with half a dozen personas than for someone else to run around as himself.  I hope you still find it interesting, but if you want to skip straight to the more Dick-centric stuff, head under the readmore.

A simple but significant factor is that Dick thrives on the company of people in a way that Bruce does not.  I suspect if you talk honestly to many introverts, you will find they too have an extroverted ‘mask’ they put on to the larger world, though probably not quite so extreme.

Another factor is that the civilian social circles Dick and Bruce travel in are vastly different.  Though they each have a reason for being in those circles, that difference itself enables Dick to escape much of the scrutiny that Bruce’s public identity undergoes, because he doesn’t frequently associate with the much more media-hounded elite.

An interesting thing here is that the large difference in social circles between their civilian lives is actually caused by their own personal similarities: they are 100% committed work-a-holics.  It’s just that they have differing civilian approaches to their goals.

I want to start with Bruce because as you point out, his use of persona is distinct among the bats and his reasons for using them in part explain why Dick and the other bats do not.

Bruce is a child of privilege, he has always lived a lifestyle of privilege, regardless of the tragedies that have occurred during it, and his default view of the world, through no fault of his own, is natively that of the extreme upper class.  This drastically influences his perspective and approach to change, and changing the world is his perpetual goal, the reason he put on the suit in the first place.

Bruce works a top-down society approach toward systemic change, and he works it all the time.  This is actually my favorite but woefully under-emphasized part of him: he is not just someone who punches people on the street ‘for justice’, he uses his company, his money, and his social position toward substantial systemic change. This post does a wonderful job covering the ways he does this through his corporations and personal wealth, as does this one.  I cannot recommend either enough because I constantly want to push even the most casual Batman fans to understand: Bruce Wayne is not just a violent punchy puncher man.  He is a traumatized person genuinely trying to use all his resources including himself to make the world safer.

Detective Comics #725

Bruce has many personas he maintains, and he uses all of them according to what suits his need--Batman for places the law can’t go, Bruce Wayne the CEO pushing for systemic changes, Matches Malone for street information, and Brucie the society high roller for society information and social influencing.  He is rarely ever not in a persona and simply ‘Bruce’.

His top-down perspective of enacting change are what dictated the usage and necessity of these personas. He has the means and capacity to basically disappear from society if he so chose--he in fact does so to train during his younger years so successfully they don’t even know how long he was actually gone. 

The Batman Files

So he doesn’t need the personas.  Not Bruce Wayne, CEO, or Brucie, or any of them really, to protect his identity.  That tells us that Brucie is a deliberate choice he made at some point.  He could have been a recluse billionaire Batman indefinitely.  Even though he fully has the status and means to not maintain a job or a persona or, let’s be frank, a life outside the mask at all, it’s his own work-a-holicness that led to the creation of his public personas.  He’s an obsessive strategist, so if Brucie is a choice, that leads us to why?

Bruce does many philanthropic things with his money, but he isn’t the only rich person around, especially not in a city as old and corrupt as Gotham.   But he’s one of the very few ones doing good with it.

The comic you mentioned has a very beautiful moment where Bruce touches on that, and in full context you can feel how consumed he is by this goal of creating the Gotham his parents would have wanted.  Batman mentions he never sees himself in that place, and the morbid interpretation is that the city kills him before he reaches it, but the hopeful interpretation is that in that shining city, Bruce Wayne and Batman and Brucie and all his masks will no longer be needed.

Detective Comics #725

Back in the old days they’d call it noblesse oblige: the inferred responsibility of privileged people to act with generosity and nobility toward those less privileged. Thomas and Martha Wayne ingrained this feeling of responsibility into Bruce by example, and as all things related to them, he obsesses over it.  It urges him to fulfill expectations within segments of society he finds onorous for the betterment of society as a whole in order to carry out their unfinished works.

Enter Brucie.

Brucie serves a two-fold purpose.  Since Bruce has chosen to maintain personas among society, it becomes a false face to justify any oddities Batman might bring into the life of Bruce Wayne by setting himself up as a eccentric, popular social scion.  But that persona itself also allows him to manipulate the upper crust of society.

I have some insider perspective on the kind of society events Brucie attends.  They’re all about the who’s who of making connections, name-dropping and networking, and unspoken class-based elitism.  Charity events among the upper class have these things at the forefront and the cause is the background.  You don’t get your hands dirty, you don’t go out and make change yourself, you pay money to be socially seen and sometimes it happens to go towards a philanthropic cause.  If you want to raise money from the rich and keep people with deep pockets coming in the door, you have to have social currency yourself. This is where, and why, Brucie comes in.  I believe Brucie ws crafted to maintain Batman’s cover but still attempt to carry on his parents’ legacy to grease the wheels of the rich in the directions he chooses: one of generosity towards those less privileged. 

Superman/Batman #51

The inevitable flaw of Bruce’s approach to his personas and their philanthropy is that in a city rife with corruption, money distributed from the top has many opportunities to disappear well before it reaches the bottom.  As in many of ways they are complements to each other, Dick’s approach balances that out, because his approach to helping his fellow man starts out at the street level...literally.

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Dick, we know, does not come from privilege.  His mother was from a middle class family before she joined the circus, and despite being world famous athletes, most circus workers are lower to middle class.  The people he grew up with, was comfortable with, were all working folk who expected everyone to pull their weight right alongside each other.  He enacts this everyone-together approach in almost all aspects and phases of his life. 

Batman #615

Even once he had settled into being Robin and adapted to living at the manor, he didn’t feel belonging to a culture of privilege, materialism, or high society. He preferred shotgun in the limo to chat with the driver to riding fancy in the back.  Once he was able to start making his own decisions about where and how he lived, despite having both Bruce’s money and then later inheriting a substantial amount of his own, he chose mostly lower-class communal places.

Batman Black and White #6

Dick also doesn’t see the value of throwing money at a problem when there is an option to fix it with his own hands.  We see this frequently, from building his own car instead of buying a finished one or outsourcing the work, to deciding the best way to clean out the BPD was to start at the bottom and work his way up (literally), to quitting college because his classes never got prioritized over crimesolving.  Most of his day jobs ended for similar reasons. 

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Despite the showmanship training, he gravitates away from spotlight on the rich and wealthy, who are notoriously the kind of people who do not get their hands dirty or go out and take care of things themselves, and prefers to find or build communities around the kind of people who do.

Finally, Dick is an extrovert.  He doesn’t need to act extroverted as Brucie does because he is extroverted.  He likes people and likes being around people.  Whether by conscious choice or not, he tends to put himself in situations where he is surrounded by people in nearly all aspects of his life.  He chooses apartment buildings whose occupants frequently pass each other on the stairs; jobs that involve interacting with many co-workers, patrons, or students; and collects superhero teammates like Boy Scout badges.  And all of these behaviors come very naturally to him.  

He doesn’t need a mask or a role or a persona for those kind of interactions; his mask is pre-supplied as “neighbor” or “co-worker” or “teacher” by the situations he puts himself in.  It helps make him an exemplary leader, because just by acting authentically to himself, he automatically builds up little communities around him any time he arrives somewhere.

Bruce, on the other hand, is an introvert.  For him, interacting with people isn’t easy, automatic, or comfortable unless it has a purpose, but as a strategist, he knows the necessity of human interaction as a catalyst to achieving dynamic change. So he adapts personas to suit people’s expectations.  Extroverts have more social currency; the life of the party can generate more resources than a brooding wallflower.  

So, it boils down to just a few elements: Dick believes in living and interacting at the street level to accomplish the things that he wants to, and he is extroverted enough that the level of social interaction that entails is not a burden to him.  He surrounds himself with the types of people he is more familiar or perhaps more comfortable with, which happens to keep him further out from the media’s eye than associating with the upper crust does. The lower profile is more incidental than intentional, but it lessens his need to have a cover story for every single bruise and lets him get away with even less of a ‘persona’.

Bruce, on the other hand, is introverted and follows a more classist view that systemic change needs to be effected from the top down.   His personas are more of a self-assumed duty than a necessity, as a way of trying to carry out his parents’ legacy.  Any of his children could have chosen to follow his path in business or the high society limelight, but the sense of obligation toward it is something personal to him that most of them don’t share.

[yeojaa]

someone’s someone, i.

read part two!  inspired by today’s weverse post (because omg???) and set in the angels & airwaves universe because these idiots are so special to me.  a second part to this drabble will be forthcoming and it’ll be...  even cuter?  idk.  

pairing.  jjk x (named) f!reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  nothing inappropriate.  just a lot of sweetness and silliness.  wc.  1.1k.

JINNY’S APARTMENT Saturday, December 3, 2020.  12 AM. 

 You’re laughing at him.  He’s really not sure why - only knows that you are from across the room with a towel wrapped snug around your body and your phone in your hand. 

“W-what’s so funny?”  The words round on their way out, tripping over themselves with the appearance of his occasional stutter.  After a long day, he’s more tired than he expects.  Less refined and more loosely-limbed - your favourite version of him.  

(You remind him of it constantly, passing reassurances he never really realizes he needs.)

With your dark hair in a loose twist at your neck and your feet bare, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you look more beautiful.  That is, until he’s on the receiving end of that stupid blinding smile of yours, singular dimple drawing his own forth.  His favourite version of you.

You’re like mirror images - lovesick idiots who can’t take their eyes off each other. 

“Taking selfies in my bed?  Really?”

Jungkook blinks, gapes, tries to formulate an appropriate response.  He settles for honesty, long fingers sweeping through his grown out fringe to push the strands behind his silver-lined ear.  “You have good lighting.”

You laugh again - he never gets sick of it - and he watches as you cross to your closet, tossing your phone at him along the way.  You’ve got terrible aim somehow, despite the many hours you log on the first-person shooter you both love.  The glossy black iPhone narrowly misses his face, bouncing off the padded headboard and onto your side of the bed. 

“You look cute when you’re in selfie mode.”  It’s full of teasing yet wrapped up nicely and topped with a big red bow.  

His face stares back at him from your screen.  

“Okay, creep!”  He doesn’t mean it and you don’t really care, though he gasps like he does and you throw a pair of bacon and egg patterned socks at him. 

“You can take selfies but I can’t take photos of you taking selfies?”

It’s like the last brain cell shared between the two of you has gone out the proverbial window, thrown from the room by the ridiculous nature of your conversation.  Neither of you mind.  This is how you were - had been for the last year. 

He wouldn’t trade it for a single thing. 

“Are you sure you don’t secretly work for Dis—”  The ceiling is an understanding audience member, meeting his stare until he swivels it to you - and nearly forgets what he was saying. 

It’s hard for him to form any sort of articulate thought when his girlfriend’s standing six feet away wearing only his favourite pair of underwear:  high-cut plain black cotton.  Simple and yet so perfect. 

“Work for who?”  You echo, turning to him with an inquisitive raise of your brow and a smile that reads wicked. 

“Huh?”  It’s not uncommon that you reduce him to single syllables.  It’s the byproduct of being stupidly head over heels in love, probably. 

“Who do I work for, JK?”

“Me?”  Now he’s just spewing nonsense, answering before he’s even given proper thought to the question.  An overeager puppy who only knows treats come from sitting so he does it often and without thought. 

Wait, did that make him Pavlov’s dog? 

“I work for you?” 

You’re a striking figure, dressed in spirals of ink and the sweetest smile.  His heart skips a beat - a little one-two tap - when you draw close enough for him to reach for you.

“You could.”  Truthfully, he doesn’t even know what he’s saying right now.  Just feels the need to speak, to coax you closer whether by words or hands or any other method under the sun. 

“I’m good,”  you return with sugar on your tongue and hearts in your eyes. 

“Okay,”  he answers, probably a little dumbly.  He’s suddenly far too interested in how you feel in his arms, your knees slotting wide on either side of his hips.  You’re terribly soft and still shower-warm, radiating heat all the way through his black tee shirt and worn grey sweats.  Broad palms traverse the shape of your bare waist before settling into their preferred spot with fingers interlaced.  He holds you easily, comfortably, like he wouldn’t rather be anywhere in the world. 

You unfurl your hands from around his shoulders, simultaneously pushing him back and seizing his discarded phone from beside yours.  “Let me take one.”

“Take one?”

The exasperation is exaggerated, fitted into the conversation by a gentle palm against his chest.  His heart beats steadily beneath your palm - in sync with yours in a way that makes you bubble with pride.  “A photo!” 

“Okay,”  he relents easily, sinking into the pillow that cradles his head.  He peers up at you with those big doe eyes of his, galaxies caught in the unnerving darkness of his pupils and the pretty depths of his irises.  He’s so utterly handsome you can’t help but take a few long moments to appreciate the angle of his nose, how the freckle right beneath his soft bottom lip winks up at you when he speaks.  The attention isn’t anything new but it’s a little unnerving;  a shadow of shyness passes, drowning out the sun in his smile.  “What?”

“I love you.”  It’s not the first time you’ve said it, nor is it the last (he hopes).  Jungkook still folds it up and tucks it into the space behind his ribs for safekeeping. 

“I love you, too.”  He’s grinning when he says it and you snap the photo simultaneously, catching him off guard with a proud smirk.  He’s heartbreakingly adorable, bunny-smiling and relaxed against the frame of grey sheets.  You hum a noise of approval, shifting above him;  his thumbs rub soothing circles over your hip bones as he waits patiently. 

“You look good.”  

“Post it.” 

“Post it?” 

“Did I stutter?”

You have half the mind to remind him how bad it sometimes gets, but you don’t.  “You post it.”

The phone is back in his hands, digits tapping over the surface as he does exactly that.  “There.”  It comes with a great flourish - posted to Weverse with a line of purple hearts.  “Lazy bones,”  he grumbles, shooting you a look as he drops his phone and takes up something far more important in his hands - namely, your face, so he can kiss you all over your cheeks. 

He does it sweetly, repeatedly, until you’re swatting at his wrists and demanding he stop.  He only does because his phone starts blowing up, a barrage of notifications lighting up the screen.

If only either of you had noticed the purple in the posted photo, tips of your fingers just barely peeking into the frame. 

His eyes meet yours - wide and alarmed and somehow, filled with amusement. 

The same word in two voices and then all at once, colliding laughter.  “Oops?”

[weuschoiceheart]

Theory: Drunk-Dazed + Connections to Gfriend and TXT Universe

Based on this theory by @soyatenada + my own connections to Gfriend’s mv

Because my big brain has finally been activated (thank you soy bene) and I’m obsessed with analyzing pieces of music, here we go:

Last chorus of “Apple” —

“Dream the red dream, endless and deep Let rise the shimmering light of destruction Don’t agonize, let go the timid child Take me, the endless witching hour descends”

The “red dream” = blood, a.k.a taking vampire blood. We’ll come back to the dream part later, because that’s important. But the red here, in my opinion, represents both blood and the apple, saying “temptation can lead to consequences.” Or if you want to be simple, it can just mean blood as in vampires. And this is also the color of the drink that Sunoo is holding in the teaser...

“shimmering light of destruction” - leading Enhypen to their destruction

“Don’t agonize, let go of the timid child”- this can symbolize them telling Enhypen to let go of their old selves, surrender themselves to another being that’s more powerful and controlling. They were scared before, trapped as children in the orphanage, but having trust in their friends (if we’re going with evil Sunoo and protective Jake theory) and following this temptation of theirs gives them a chance to shed that timid self and become confident and powerful. The “don’t agonize” part is kind of ironic, since it’s a contrast to how they will feel pain after getting bitten. Of course, it can just be false words to tempt them to become vampires.

“Take me, the endless witching hour descends” - I can see it from two perspectives: Enhypen as in them saying “take us, take everything (*cough* familiar lyrics anyone?) OR it can represent the apple/Gfriend telling them to take the path to destruction. And as I mentioned before in Bene’s post, the witching hour is when they finally crossed the line to vampire land (and yes, pun very much intended).

So....you might be wondering, well ok, that’s Gfriend’s pov, but how about Enhypen’s? And why do they use the “dream” and why does that even matter? How does it all come together?

*takes a deep breath* Grab a bucket of popcorn, because this is gonna be hella long, and I might be stretching some points, but I think this goes beyond bigger than just the Enhypen universe. It connects to both Gfriend’s and Txt’s as well (and possibly BTS’, though I need more information and research on that).

Firstly, let’s look at the lyrics from the drunk-dazed teaser (This is just a rough translation from what I’ve learned in Korean, with a little help from Google Translate. I’m not fluent in Korean, so please correct me if the translations are wrong!):

“Dazed, dazed, dazed / Dance, dance, dance / Eh, I wake you up / Eh, burn my heart / Eh, fill up my dream”

Ok, let’s break it down. There’s two main points in these lyrics alone that I feel is crucial to understanding the whole universe in general.

“Dance, dance, dance” are lyrics that also appear repeatedly in the pre-chorus and post-chorus of Gfriend’s “Apple,” further strengthening my point about the link between the two songs/groups. In this context, it can illustrate the carnival itself — a huge event meant to conceal a darker secret. The sirens, or Gfriend, want the boys to keep dancing, having fun, slowly pulling them into their trap. Again, another example of temptation luring them in.

Also, in Gfriend “Mago” they also talk about “dancing in this moment” and “my life has been waiting for you”....I have a feeling that this somehow connects to Enhypen’s next comeback...but for now, let’s just leave it here because I don’t have enough evidence to support my reasoning yet.

“I wake you up / burn my heart / fill up my dream” — In a broader sense, this can be Enhypen waking up their “other half,” a side they never shown before, as they transition to vampires. But let’s delve deeper into the last line “fill up my dream” because that’s where everything sort of fall into place (it’s more of a jumble of puzzle piece that clashes and mashed up, but I’m going to try to piece it out).

Enhypen has mentioned this “dream” before, in “Cross the Line” - “If I wake from dreamless sleep. May tomorrow begin like a dream.”

This “dream” is also referenced in one of Shakespeare sonnets, whose lines are used in “Outro: Wormhole.” The lyrics are “And yet when most I wink / Then do mine eyes best see.”  I’m not going to paste the whole sonnet here, but in short, the sonnet talks about longing and dreaming. This line in colloquial terms means “But when I’m asleep / I see the best.” This can illustrate how they see the best when dreaming, and relating to the sonnet, they see “you” in their dreams. Whoever this “you” is, it’s important to them.

(Oh my god, I just got an idea of how this can also connect to their idol life as well, but Imma make that into another post instead because my brain is about to explode.)

(I got these lyrics from Genius, and some engenes there also analyze the Shakespeare language that Enhypen used in Intro: The Invitation. I might make another theory about how the sonnet in that song connects to the Outro, but I don’t want to confuse y’all so I’m sticking to the “dream” aspect in this post. If you want to see the translation and the theory, here you go)

So this dream of Enhypen’s is important to them, and the carnival seem to trigger the dream again for them. As we can see from “Cross the Line,” they want their tomorrow to be dreamlike, because their today was dull. I feel like their journey can be divided into two parts: the dull, gray, timid life of theirs in the orphanage, where they’re under the control of someone else. And then there’s the wild, fantasy-like, vampire transition, where they’re thrown into this dream-like atmosphere, and they are still being controlled, but they can’t resist it.

Now let’s go back to the line in Gfriend’s song, “Dream the red dream, endless and deep.” They want Enhypen to keep dreaming. And them becoming vampires represent that they are currently in that dream of blood.

So, ok, they’re happily living this dream of theirs. But a dream is still fake, a false distortion of reality. So...what’s reality?

Here’s where I’m kind of stretching it a bit, and this might even sound crazy (I’m already crazy so it doesn’t matter). I got this idea from @hseungsteeth, when Beanie mentioned how even it’s a prince concept, it looks futuristic. And the Down and Hype versions of the concept photos....I think they represent the reality, the opposite of this dream of theirs. We see the car crash, the red lights and gangster like outfits, so it makes me wonder: what if they want to live in this dream to escape reality? Are they living in a dystopian world where people get hurt constantly and are attacked by creepy clowns and skulls (objects from the Hype teaser videos)? I don’t have a solid claim for this yet, but I like the idea of dream and reality, two things that we also see in TXT’s videos.

Alright, this is where I try my best to link this to TXT. I think TXT has their own storyline, that differs from Enhypen, but the part where the two meet is in their depictions of dream and reality. I’m not going to go in depth into TXT’s theories, but we can see how Soobin can hear the calling of danger in magic island, how Beomgyu (I think it was Beomgyu? Or it was Soobin again) saw the images through the practice mirror, their dream of “running away” portrayed by the concept of Harry Potter. TXT also want to escape reality, because in their dream, they’re with their friends again, they’re are accepted for who they are (ex: in Crown, they realize they are not a monster just because they have horns on their head. They accept it as their “crown” and will wear it like the kings they are), and they can just be themselves. But these dreams are short, as we can see from “Blue Hour,” where Beomgyu is once again left alone after that blissful hour passes.

And these dreams come with danger too. In both Enhypen’s and TXT’s universes, we see the danger of getting marked and transition into vampires, we see the fires that can burn down that magic island. So, how can they save their dream, and confront reality?

[bookish-mbti]

Some Frasier MBTI types

Scott has gotten me into watching Frasier and these characters are satisfyingly typable, so I wanted to make a post elaborating on the MBTI types of the Crane brothers.

Frasier Crane | ENFJ

Frasier’s functional stack is easily readable and because of it, he is a fantastic example of an ENFJ. The outer world and social structures are what defines Frasier’s reality.

Frasier exists in the outer world of established external structures, measurements of value, and social status. He appreciates things that can be thought of as impressive based on external reference, even such as the items he so values in his apartment: “This lamp by Corbusier, the chair by Eames, and this couch is an exact replica of the one Coco Chanel had in her Paris atelier.” He likes things that are socially recognized to be impressive or renowned.

ENFJs also use auxiliary Ni, and as such, Frasier is very insightful and thrives when guiding individuals towards their best path and potential. His radio show allows him to do this on a broader scale with a wider audience, while also allowing him to fulfill his role in a way noticeable externally within the societal structure he values. Fe-Ni tends to work with groups of people such as a classroom as a teacher, and in Frasier’s case, it is his radio show.

Se is tertiary in Frasier. ENJs, though they are not Se dominant, are often very action-based. This advice from Frasier, in my opinion, exemplifies healthy use of an ENFJ’s functions: “Six months ago, I was living in Boston. My wife had left me, which was very painful. Then she came back to me, which was excruciating. On top of that, my practice had grown stagnant, and my social life consisted of... hanging around a bar night after night. You see, I was clinging to a life that wasn’t working anymore, and I knew I had to do something, anything. So, I ended the marriage once and for all, packed up my things, and moved back here to my hometown of Seattle. I took action. And you can, too. Move, change, do something; if it’s a mistake, do something else.”

Tertiary Se is more noticeable than inferior and ENJs may score surprisingly high on Se, caught between their penchant for deriving meaning and passion for making their dreams realities.

Frasier is sensitive to criticism, which comes from inferior Ti. When he is criticized in a column in the Times with the simple statement “I hate Frasier Crane,” he can’t help but feel as though it is an unwarranted personal attack. Ti is a function based in impartial analysis and criticism of structures or methods, completely independent of people and in conflict with an Extraverted Feeling approach.

Further, after he is sold a false piece of artwork, he is infuriated by the injustice, the blatant lack of regard for ethics. His idealism that people are good, respectful, and care for the well-being of others (Fe-Ni) is shattered. He keeps grasping for some way others and systems may help him—first through calling the police, and then by considering hiring a lawyer. When both Martin and Niles say it isn’t worth it and when Martin tells him that sometimes bad things happen in life and there’s nothing you can do, Frasier has immense trouble coping with the concept. Feeling dominants often run into conflict with the approaches of the Thinking functions, which they perceive to be cold, heartless, and, in the more extreme, immoral.

Another characteristic of Frasier’s inferior Ti can be seen in the second episode, when he is still adjusting to his father and Daphne moving in with him. In the case of an inferior Ti eruption episode, Fe dominants become uncharacteristically cold and withdrawn. In this episode, Frasier is perturbed by all of the ways Martin and Daphne have infiltrated the life he worked to build for himself. He is uncharacteristically in a bad mood, seeking solitude, and short with understanding; his tertiary Se is used defensively to defend his uncharacteristic, self-based need for solitude by saying that since the situation isn’t working out now in the present moment, then there is no hope of it getting better and he should change something about it.

Niles Crane | INFJ

Niles’ function stack is also one that is very readable and makes him a great example of an INFJ.

While he is similar to his older brother, there are some distinct differences. Where Frasier’s typical impulse is to seek out others and talk to them, in need of feedback, Niles is more private and withdrawn, mulling over things internally before externally voicing a conclusion. Where Frasier thrives navigating the social world and being a prominent face in the community, Niles considers his radio show “pop psychiatry” and values a more typical setting where he can see patients one-on-one rather than seeking a broad audience and outward recognition. This is not to say that Extraversion and Introversion have to do with sociability or ability to perform in front of an audience—Niles frequently holds group therapy sessions and workshops etc.—but than IFJs and EFJs tend to differ in their natural preferences. EFJs like to immerse themselves actively in a society and have engagement and involvement. IFJs don’t require this external feedback or engagement, and many times like to help others in more controlled, individual sessions.

One example Niles’ Ni is evident is after he and Frasier see their father having dinner with an old family acquaintance. They remember that her family used to be close to theirs until one summer they had a falling out and were no longer acquainted. The next day, Niles arrives at Frasier’s apartment and announces he had been doing some thinking, wondering why their father was with that woman, so he dug up his old childhood journal and an old photo album their late mother had put together. In the journal around the time they remembered the family friends having a falling out, Niles had written that he had seen his father and her in each other’s arms. In the photo album photos from that summer, there were multiple photos with a woman cut out of them. With these things brought to attention, Niles suggests a theory that their father had an affair. This is Ni—seeing something, mulling it over, connecting separate pieces, and arriving at a conclusion. Frasier first strikes down the accusation, saying there isn’t enough evidence. Again, this is Niles’ Ni—the connections he has made are based on internal thought processes, not totally tangible, but make sense in his linear internal logical deductions based on a couple of pieces of evidence. Ni can derive insight and theory based on minimal things in reality and is not dependent exclusively on what is experienced through the senses.

Another example of Niles’ being his type, and perhaps a good example of how INFJs tend to offer advice in general, can be seen in this conversation between him and Frasier in episode 2.

Frasier: Niles, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Dad and I had another fight. I’m afraid if we stay under the same roof together we’ll do irreparable harm to the relationship we have as it is.

Niles: Well, what are the alternatives?

Frasier: Well, if I didn’t feel so guilty I’d, I’d do what I should have done in the first place: just move dad and Daphne into their own apartment.

Niles: Oh, for goodness sake, Frasier. It hasn’t been that long, you have to give it a chance. And you might remember why you moved him in in the first place.

Frasier: Refresh me.

Niles: You wanted to get closer to dad.

Frasier: I still do. There isn’t anything I’d like more, but he makes it impossible. I can’t read my book, I can’t have my coffee, I can’t have any peace in my own home.

Niles: So what you’re saying is, you want to be closer to dad, but you don’t actually want him around. Ask yourself Frasier, have you tried to sit down and talk to him—I mean, really talk to him?

Frasier: Well, I... Maybe I haven’t done my best. I guess I owe that to the old man, don’t I? Well, ah, thanks for the chat, Niles. You’re a good brother, and a credit to the psychiatric profession.

Niles’ dominant Ni urges Frasier to see past the interpersonal rifts and down to the heart of what matters most, which was Frasier’s original goal: to become closer to his father. Conflict that seems unsolvable through talking it out is a trigger to Fe dominants, and as such, it was hard for Frasier to see past it. Niles’ Ni reminds him of the goal despite this conflict, as Ni as a dominant function is more zoomed out and big-picture; while Niles too uses Fe and is people-focused, he primarily views the world through Ni, which sees things outside of the framework of relationships, whereas Frasier’s dominant Fe was stuck seeing only the relationships and the conflict within them and he forgot the original goal. Additionally, Niles’ use of Ni prompts Frasier to point his own auxiliary Ni at himself and remind himself of his personal responsibility and purpose to the situation with his father.

Niles’ inferior Se is noticed more comically, such as how he doesn’t remember meeting Roz even after he has met her multiple times, nor does he remember where they met. Ni is a very internally-based function, and with inferior Sensation, Ni dominants can have trouble recalling concrete information about their surroundings or people they come into contact with in the external world. Another example of an INJ’s inferior Se can be seen when Niles is gripping shortly after his divorce. He begins to date someone completely opposite from his normal temperament and is impulsive, spontaneous, and doesn’t give any deep thought to his actions or the purpose for these actions. He stays out all night, drinks more, plans a trip with his new girlfriend to another country. It is all very out of character for him, which happens when an INJ is gripping—usually notoriously inert and cerebrally-based, they become active and spontaneous in the outer world, over-indulging in sensory activities.

[u-adskinaesthetic]

Pics: Part 1  Val X Reader

Click

Snap

Click

Clean, smooth pictures came into view as you checked your work. Multiple colors are scattered amongst the clouds, making it the perfect setting for your pictures. Inserted in the picture were individuals rollerblading by the coast, giving an exquisite feeling of bravery and amazement to those who saw them. The photo itself was aesthetically pleasing, not to mention the resolution was incredible.

You felt satisfied with your work and took a few more to capture a better image than the last. You knew this article would be one of the most admired in the journalist world.

As part of the newspaper club, it was your responsibility and your peers to gather evidence and intellect for papers that could hopefully inform readers of certain situations. Including good quality photos. It mattered not if it was about gas prices, media, or whether people prefer to stay indoors rather than outdoors, it will be executed neatly and accurately.

For this project, your teacher assigned groups of two. You and your friend were commissioned to write about rollerblading, informing how fun and intricate it is. It was your job to take pictures and write the paper while your friend edited and posted the work.

You expected this assignment to be fun and pretty simple, or so you were lead to believe. But when you refused to take some shots for some pest to insert into your article, you never expected to be given this much trouble.

"Oh come on babe, wouldn't you rather take a couple of quick snips of me and my teammates rather than those losers?"

"I told you not to call me that, and frankly, yes, I would."

You did not know why someone famous like him was interested in getting his picture taken. You knew the hot new skaters called Team X Bladz had given themselves quite the reputation when they came out with cool new tricks and stunts. The media goes wild for them, giving them praise and treating them like their royalty. So you could not grasp why the team leader of this famous group was so relentless in getting his photo taken when you're not even from a well-known organization.

Besides, you didn't even know his name or any of his lackeys. Second, there are a ton of other reporters out there who would love to get his picture taken. And third, you weren't even interested.

Ever since he spotted you taking pictures of bladders rolling around in the skate park, he refused to let you go until you took some shots of him too. Which baffles you honestly, it is not like you were an expert or anything.

"Come on, just a few?"

" I already said no, now please move out of the way."

Annoyed by the guy's determination, you pushed him back far enough to escape from him. Hastily, you tried to move away, though his skates caught you first.

The annoyance in your sigh was not enough to explain how irritated you were. " Look, I already told you I don't need a picture of your team, so why don't you go bother someone who cares."

"Then why not just me?" He grinned tackily, "You won't find anything better, I guarantee it." He pointed to those behind him. You glanced longingly, wanting to capture the moment that inspired you to write.

"Do you even know exactly why I'm taking these pictures?" You questioned. You were getting irritated, enough so that you felt like punching him.

The teenager pretended to think as he answered. "You're a reporter aren't you?"

"How did you-"

He chuckled, "Based on your expression, I must be right."

Darn, you walked right into that one.

The tone in your voice was not enough to hint him to leave you alone. "I don't understand why you're so reluctant to take a picture of me, I mean, I am pretty famous ya know," he swirled around in his blades fancily, trying to impress you.

"I don't care if you're famous, besides you're not the type of aesthetic I'm looking for. I have a vision for this picture, and you, unfortunately, are not in it."

The boy pretended to be hurt by your comments, genuinely not caring about your vision. He instead continued to pester you. " I don't understand this vision you're looking for. What? am I not the perfect candidate?" He teased.

You did not know how long you can withstand idly chatting before blowing him off. The only thing you desired was to take pleasant pictures of people doing cool skits and tricks in the park, but you can't even do that!

"Listen here bud-"

"It's Val, remember it." He clicked his tongue playfully.

"Listen here hotshot, I don't know what your deal is but I'm trying to take a serene picture here, and you moving out the way would be fantastic."

You tried to walk off once more but quickly blocked when Val skated in front of you again. This time you were going to go off on him but were too late to answer back.

"You know that's a pretty camera you got there." He urged toward your device. It was a Nikon FA, a nice model that was gifted to you on your birthday. Before you could even get a word out, he snatched it from your hands and skated from your grasp.

"Hey! Give that back, it is not a toy!" Your fury was unwavering, this was not a game for you.

"Woah there sweetheart, no need to get feisty." He answered haughtily, mocking you in your panicked state. You tried to grab your camera but unfortunately failed, for Val, once again, was out of your grasp.

"If you want it back, then take a picture of me." He continued, " and if you refuse-"

Without hesitance, he skated dangerously, flipping off of rails and jumping from one place to another. You feared for your camera and eventually gave in to his demands.

" Stop Stop! Ok, I'll take pictures of you, just please give me back my camera, it's very important to me." He skidded amongst the ground and approached with a winning grin. Seeing you all worried was enough for him to know that he won. Giving back your camera, you worriedly checked it. You sighed contently, not seeing any signs of damage, for nothing was nicked or in terrible shape.

" And there's plenty more where that came from." You had no choice but to listen to his demands, no matter how angry you felt. Because it was either taking shots or getting your camera taken away again. " Now about that picture you promised~"

"Alright fine, just pose over there and do something cool." Even though you weren't exactly thrilled to be taking this jerks picture, it was better than putting your camera's life on the line again.

To prevent from upsetting him again, you took careful but beautiful pictures, confident that he would like them. Not exactly the appeal you were looking for, but good enough for now.

"Let me see," out of nowhere, Val snatched the camera out of your hands, much to your dismay.

"Hey, careful with that it was a pretty expensive gift." He ignored your words and continued looking at the shots you got of him. He acted unimpressed, but you knew better.

"These pictures are good enough." He lazily handed you the camera, almost dropping it. If it wasn't for your quick reflexes, well, let's just say that you couldn't take any more pictures.

You gave him a full response. " Yeah, Yeah I know, so are we done here?"

"Guess so, just put the prettiest one that gets my good side in the article. You know, got to look good for the fans." He winked.

You scoffed and walked off, finally free from this ordeal. 'Yeah right, like I'm going to do that from what you put me through.'

But what you didn't know was that this right here was only the beginning.

Note: This was just a quick drabble I desired to write. If you have any tips on how this story can be better, please do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you very much. 

[mysewingadventures]

Historical Accuracy of Costumes in Period TV Shows - Anne With An E

I was very surprised at how well my historical accuracy post about The Aeronauts did, so I decided to write about another one! This time I’ll be talking about the fashion in Anne with an E, but I’ll be mainly focusing on the kids’ clothing because kids’ period fashion is something that’s very rarely talked about and we know very little about.

First of all, if you haven’t seen Anne with an E, please do, it’s an amazing adaptation of Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables novels which I adored reading as a kid, but unfortunately I barely remember anything from the books so watching the show was kinda cool going into it without knowing what exactly was going to happen. But anyways, enough about the show, let’s get to the fashion. A little disclaimer: some of the fashion choices made by the department are very closely tied to the plot so I might be spoiling a little bit, but I won’t be talking about any big spoilers or plot points!

So, the story takes place from 1896 (season 1) to 1899 (season 2), so we’re in the late Victorian time period.

First up, we have this dress that Anne wears at the beginning of season 1. It’s obviously way too small, very simple and plain.

It was very typical for girls to wear aprons as an outer layer so they wouldn’t get their dresses dirty, we can see that all throughout the show with all characters. But here we have something that looks odd to someone who might not know the story and Anne’s upbringing. She’s an orphaned girl, this is the only dress she has and has had for years, hence why she grew out of it. It’s plain, simple, she’s a poor girl who goes from one family to another and has to work to earn her stay. In her surroundings, nobody would have given her a new dress, or even an older but fashionable one. I’m assuming she got it at some point just because she didn’t have anything to wear and "as long as it would do the job, it was good enough."

Now, let’s fast forward a little bit until Marilla decides to finally make Anne a new dress. She mentions having some fabric laying around, so she uses that to sew the new garment.

It’s still very plain and not fashionable for the time, but it’s a garment that fits her, which was Marilla’s top (and arguably only) priority at the time. Marilla is one of a kind, she’s the direct opposite of pretty much everyone else in Avonlea. I won’t get too deep into her characterization, but Anne’s fashion reflects Marilla’s mindset that I just have to mention how she’s a woman who lives in a classist society without really becoming a part of it. She’s old fashioned at first, sure, but her priorities are different from all the other families. While everyone else cares about how they present themselves to others and how they are viewed and their reputation, Marilla stays true to herself and doesn’t change for anyone. They’re not poor, meaning they could afford pretty clothing if they wanted to but to Marilla, this is clearly a waste of money and she values other things more in life. Okay, sorry about this little ramble about her but it’s important to know to understand why Anne doesn’t have the most fashionable dresses aside from the Cuthberts being “poorer” (despite still being middle class).

When Marilla announced she wanted to make a dress for Anne, Anne immediately requested puff sleeves, which is understandable considering they were very fashionable in 1896. Anne has never had puff sleeves before and all of her friends probably did, so it’s just natural for her to want her new dress to have them.

So, puff sleeves... Enter Matthew who has a soft spot for his daughter and doesn’t share the same strict world views as Marilla. He goes out to Charlottetown to get a dress custom made for Anne, which has... *drum roll* puff sleeves!

It’s this beautiful blue dress which Anne falls in love with and wears on every special occasion. With the lace and the frills it almost feels a little too much for a child, as girls’ dresses were usually similar to adults’ but less decorated and more simple. Anne does stand out a little when she wears it to school, but the dress was clearly not made for everyday wear, she was just too excited about it not to wear it.

Here’s a cast photo (I couldn’t find any other ones where you can properly see other girls’ dresses without the aprons) and you can see that they’re generally less embellished than adults’ clothing of that time and just a little frilly.

Unless I am missing something, this was the only puff sleeve dress that Anne owns up to the end of the show, and that is because puff sleeves suddenly aren’t as fashionable anymore in the following years. The dresses still have a wider sleeve at the top but nothing that comes close to a puff sleeve.

Let’s move on with my favorite Anne dress.

I love this dress so much because it’s quite simple but still has that elegance of the Victorian era. So maybe I’m biased but I’d say it’s absolutely accurate! I’ve definitely not been thinking about making a replica and wearing it just for the heck of it. It definitely seems child-appropriate and more like an everyday dress than the previous one.

I’d also love to talk about Diana’s dresses for a moment as she is the richest girl in town (I believe? It could be Josie I’m not sure) but her dresses are always on point and beautiful and just a prime example of rich girls’ dresses of that era. Here’s one of her and her sister Minnie May wearing the same white Sunday dress.

You had to be rich to give your kids white dresses with not even an apron. Sure, you wouldn’t wear an apron on a Sunday dress, but you had to be either rich enough so your kids were used to having the best manners and wouldn’t get dirty or you had to be able to afford to get a white dress dirty. The Barry’s are both of those things.

There are many more dresses that were shown in the show but if I mentioned all of them, I’d still be writing tomorrow! Maybe I’ll make a part 2 someday. However, I couldn’t finish this post without mentioning the iconic... Just see for yourself.

And... I have contemplated for a long time whether I should say this or not as all I’ve ever seen about this dress was pure adoration but from a personal point of view, I... don’t like it. I’m sorry. And that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not historically accurate, it’s just not my favorite personally. But I’ll get into the historical accuracy.

I had to rewatch almost the entire episode to see the dress in its full length, and after searching through a lot of fashion plates I have only found one that resembles it kind of.

But I’m still not 100% satisfied. The bodice almost feels a little outdated? If I had to guess I’d say this dress was more 1889 than 99. The skirt is historically accurate, though, as well as the sleeves. The blouse is laying a little too flat for 1899 and so is the bodice, it would have been more pigeon-breasted, just like the dresses you can see in this previous scene.

Granted, not all dresses in this scene have that silhouette and not all dresses in 1899 had that silhouette, but it just looks a little wrong with that particular style. A reason for that could be the fact that Marilla made it and maybe she just wasn’t completely up to date with the latest fashion trends and/or recycled an older dress, which is both something I could totally see her do. But then again, it could totally be something worn in 1899 and no one would bat an eyelash. Just because something isn’t common doesn’t mean it’s wrong! Actually, the more I look at it the more it looks right.

This brings me to another point I wanted to mention, which is the length of the kids’ skirts.

This is a photo I found in which they are approximately 14/15 years old.

According to a guideline I found from 1900 that I can’t include because of the 10 photos per post limitation but will link here, the hemline for that age should fall right above the uppper edge of the boot. The length we see them wear is appropriate for 4-8 year olds!

But that’s really the only thing I have to criticize. There’s not a lot of info we have on kids’ clothing so it’s hard to make a general statement but these are the things I noticed while watching the show and afterwards while doing research.

PS. The hats are all very cool and accurate! So many hats! After the lack of bonnets in some other movies seeing hats in a period film just make me happy 😊

[mercurytrinemoon]

wait would you mind sharing ur process for guessing rising signs? im getting better at it but im still not very great and i would love to guess a couple peoples. thank you <3

Ohhh honestly, I usually just go with my gut. Like, literally my first reaction/thought. I don’t just think about someone’s appearance because for me, most of the people look like straight up their Sun sign. I rather look at how someone carries themselves, how they talk; their hand gestures, body language etc. Just an overall vibe. When I like to guess celebrities’ rising signs as an excercise, I watch interviews with them rather than look at photos. For example, I thought Kristen Stewart is a Gemini not because she looks like one but because she’s just suuper jittery and she uses her hands a lot when she talks. Or when I was watching some stuff of Billie Eilish she just seemed so etheral and soft, like a Pisces. Brie Larson’s attitude in all the interviews promoting Captain Marvel/Avengers is SO Aries to me, like she just wanted to pick a fight with everyone and was acting like a tough gal. (Tho both her and Billie also have physical features that are characteristic of their risings but my first guesses were based only on the overall feel they gave me). 

But with that technique I feel it’s easier to guess the rising if you don’t know the rest of the chart... so you’re not biased or something. I also think it’s easier when you observe someone from a far rather than when you interact with them... That’s why I have a problem with pinpointing the ascendants of my friends who never shared their birth time with me.

My process is kind of all over the place, now that I think about it lol but I always try to think about the characteristics of that person; how would I describe them in the most simple way. I kind of mix personality traits with physical features. Knowing their Sun sign and other placements, I try to isolate them. Let’s say someone’s an Aries Sun - has rather square face features, pinkish skin undertone, wants everything NOW, likes football, is a crybaby... but their body type is more round, face pretty symmetrical and is too much of a people pleaser for an Aries and hates conflict and dresses in girly pastel clothes - we spotted a Libra rising. 

This may be controversial, but as I said, most people look like their Sun signs for me so I don’t really like to guess solely by the appearance BUT if I have to, I really pay close attention to small things. Like, oh someone looks and acts like a walking talking Aries Sun (to the point where you start to think they must be a double Aries) but they’re tall, like to have their hair longer and they have a big goofy smile with big teeth and their nose is a bit long and legs be looking sturdy af. Then I throw in an observation that their style is a bit changeable so I think, ah, a mutable sign! And we have found a Sag rising!

Then I look in which houses their planets fall and see if it matches. I also like to look at the MC sign (tho sometimes it can be misleading). Saturn placements say a lot, I noticed (but maybe it’s just because I’m well versed in the way Saturn works in a chart so I know how to pick it up). Obviously Sun - but that can also be misleading (like, to this day I don’t understand how Justin Timberlake’s Sun is in the 6th house. Not very pop star of him lol... especially that it’s his chart ruler).  

Last thing I do is look at synastry. If someone has a lot of friends with Pisces placements, that can tell me they either have a Pisces rising or Virgo rising. I personally always attract people who have Aqua personal planets so they have it in my 1st house. And that brings me to the thing I was talking about in that last post... So I look at my house overlays with that person. But that’s like a bonus, I wouldn’t determine someone’s rising basing only on that. It’s just more of, “yeah it would make sense that they have Gemini rising with my Mars on their ascendant that’s why I want to rip their clothes off or slap them in the face... or both”. You know what I mean?

It gets awkward tho if someone really have Sun in the same sign as rising. It can also get tricky with planets in the 1st house. You then need to really dissect things. It’s also really helpful to think how that person reacts in various situations + how they talk about certain topics. A bubbly, anxious Gemini Sun Chris Evans gets very deep and frowns his brows when he talks about serious stuff - very fitting for a Scorpio rising (Scorpio faces tend to be somewhat concentrated between their eyes, they have this eagle-like look to them). 

I often need to guess risings of people who were born on the day when the Moon changes signs. That helps sometimes. So you look at the time frame when the Moon is in the sign you think it is - then ascendant options are limited.

Also, if both signs of the same axis fit, I see it as a confirmation. Remember, people often have the personality traits of their descendant sign a bit.

Ehh, hope that made any sense and helped you a bit 😃

[shions-songbirds]

Todokami Rambles

Okay!! I’ve been meaning to get on this for awhile now, so here we are. It’s been awhile since I’ve worked with todokami so if this is a bit choppy that’s why.  {Post writing edit: this is so long, I’m so sorry}

@todorokitops this is for you 

The way it would start is simple, honestly. Kaminari’s a friendly guy, and Todoroki is already friends with some of the Bakusquad, namely Sero and Bakugou, so really, there’s no reason for him not to try and make friends with him 

So Kaminari approaches him in an attempt to make friends, and Todoroki has grown a lot since the sports festival arc, so he’s not going to deny one of his classmates

Especially not one he knows is capable, as is evident by him choosing him to be on his team for the cavalry battle

So he engages, why not, boy needs more friends

And Kaminari is genuine and sweet, and Todoroki can’t deny that having some additional company around is pretty nice, plus, well, Kaminari is very touchy, and he’s very touch starved, so it’s nice

Especially because the thing about Kaminari is his emotional and interpersonal intelligence is insane

He could read anyone pretty well, and once he’s friends with someone, they’re an open book

Thus, he has a level of understanding about Todoroki that few can compare to, even his closest friends 

And being able to get his feelings and thoughts across without having to be the most articulate about it? With someone who’s bad with words, bad at explaining his own feelings due to so long being distanced from them? There’s nothing like it (more below the cut)

Needless to say, they get on well

Kaminari brings Todoroki into things, which isn’t to say that his friends don’t, they do, but Kaminari likes to drag him into impromptu sleepovers and movie nights, random snack raids and oh my god wait you didn’t have a childhood we gotta do dumb shit hours

And if Todoroki has nothing else to do, well, he lets it happen

So they end up spending a lot of time together

And though Kaminari doesn’t know the specifics of his trauma, he clued in pretty quick that it was there, and that it was tied to his father

He has no intention of prying into Todoroki’s past, if/when he wants to tell him, he will, but it helps to know where he needs to tread carefully

Which is good for the both of them

Now, these boy, these absolute fools, would not realize they’re into each other 

Frankly, I don’t think most of their class could without some outside intervention, they’re all oblivious as hell with things like this

I imagine they get a lot of shit and gentle prods from their friends like, hey, get a room, stop flirting with each other in front of my salad, tell us about your crush!! 

Which always leads to quick and dismissive “oh haha, I’m not into him”s, “you’re misreading our friendship, we’re just buds”s, etc, etc

These two just do not realize they’re into each other

Kaminari platonically flirts with everyone, that’s how his friendship is, if he isn’t jokingly flirting with someone (who is comfortable with it), well, are they really even friends? 

And Todoroki just... doesn’t know how to recognize what he’s feeling, how to put a name to the tumultuous emotions swirling around in his chest, because yes, this feels different from how he feels with Iida, or Midoriya, or Uraraka, but to be fair, Midoriya had felt different from everyone too. He thinks it’s just a new kind of feeling friendship can produce. He doesn’t think much more into it. 

It’s only when the teasing and the questions get more common that either of them realize that wait, this might be something more than I’m making it out to be 

Kaminari is the first to realize this, the first to think oh, wait, what I’m feeling for him might be hitting a bit different than what I feel for my friends 

Which immediately leads to some resigned Pining, bc there’s no way class pretty boy Todoroki Shouto would ever be interested in him, and frankly, no amount of love for the other boy is worth jeopardizing their friendship

Todoroki doesn’t have many friends, and he would rather die before he made it awkward and made Todoroki lose one of them

Meanwhile, when Todoroki eventually realizes it, after multiple talks with the other members of the dekusquad, he decides there’s no way in hell he;s confessing, especially not when Kaminari has no idea just how messed up he and his home life are

He decides he has to tell him

Even though, unlike back when he was telling Midoriya, he has everything to lose, there’s danger, there’s risk, he can’t stomach the thought of hiding it, even though it’s a struggle to stomach letting another person in on his troubled childhood

Still, he drags Kaminari into his room, and he confesses everything, every sordid detail of his childhood, and he’s scared, he’s so scared, he could damage one of his dearest friendships

When he’s done, Kaminari doesn’t say anything for a moment, just stares at him, takes in the subtle shake in his shoulders, the way his eyes are averted, hooked on his hands, and asks, gently, if he can hug him

Pulls him in close and tight, and asks, another question, one that he asserts it’s perfectly fine if Todoroki doesn’t answer

He asks him why  why did he tell him

And Todoroki grips Kaminari tighter, his fingers digging into his clothes, nails almost biting through the thick fabric

“Because I didn’t think I was allowed to feel anything for you if you didn’t know” 

The room is silent once more, Todoroki’s grip slackens, and he tries to pull away, but Kaminari holds firm. He knows what Todoroki just confessed, the vague terms don’t confuse or give him pause, he knows this boy. He knows how to read him. He knows what that means

He moves back so he can make eye contact with Todoroki, a massive grin on his face, looking a little disbelieving but ultimately incredibly pleased

“I have feelings for you too”

These two take awhile to work through their emotions

And for Todoroki that’s a lot of “I don’t know how to say this in a way that makes sense” and Kaminari’s gentle and understanding “you just say it and I’ll make sense of it, say the words, I’ll paint the picture”

and they do

They work out everything that needs working out, and decide, well, how about a date? To cement everything

And if you think their first date isn’t ice skating, you’re wrong

I have an age old joke with my friend from back when I first got into bnha that Todoroki is only going into the hero business to fund being a professional ice skater because his father would never financially back that and look, costumes and training are expensive, but anyway that’s not here nor there

Ice skating holds a fond place in Todoroki’s heart, a piece of his childhood uncorrupted, and he decides that he simply must share this with Kaminari

Kaminari who does not know how to ice skate

It’s a bit of a mess, but even with the falls, and the bruises, and the accidentally dragging each other down to the floor, it’s fun, and it’s the best first date either of them could’ve asked for 

After that, it’s a lot of cuddles and teaching Todoroki how to play video games, finding out where and how they fit in with each other

They share pieces of their lives, they teach each other new things, and it’s good, it’s so good

Kaminari likes buying Todoroki plushies and things he’d never admit he was into

Todoroki likes buying Kaminari expensive things, and probably definitely overdoing it on certain things, because oh, a small company isn’t too big a price, is it? Noo, that’s Just Normal Courtship Things

They definitely adopt a cat and some rats together when they’re older

Because cats are wonderful and rats are actual angels 

And they have walls haphazardly covered in photos of themselves and of friends, all in a patchwork array, reminding Todoroki every day of everything he never thought he’d have 

Tucked in a corner of the bedroom is a shelf of things that were a total waste of money, and a bookshelf filled with goofy manga and classic American and English literature, a few sappy romance novels littering the shelves

And they’re happy, because what could be better than this 

[darisu-chan]

whatever our souls are made of (his and mine are the same), pt. 15

Welcome back to yet another one-shot!

Hope you guys enjoy it!

You can also read it here.

See ya!

inkwell

Prompt: social media

Summary: Each photo they upload becomes a puzzle piece which tells a story. Their story.

Ichigo, Rukia realizes, is not a fan of social media.

 Not that she had known what that was beforehand.

��She hadn’t realized there were more uses for a cellphone besides calling, receiving texts, listening to music and maybe taking a few pictures.

 She had had a more pragmatic view of technology.

 And it is not until she overhears Inoue and Arizawa talking about the newest photograph the former had taken and posted to Instagram, that she takes an interest on all the other uses one can give to a phone.

 “Ichigo, what is Instagram?” She asks the following day.

 She had hardly been able to sleep as she thought about that mysterious Instagram thing.

 Ichigo blinks and puts away the manga he had been reading.

 It is obvious he hadn’t seen this question coming.

 “It is a cellphone app.” He vaguely explains.

 “I see.”

 (Spoiler alert: she hadn’t)

 “What is an app?”

 She asks again.

 Then he goes on a lengthy explanation about the many apps and their uses.

 Turns out, Instagram is just one of the many apps you can use.

 You can even watch movies on your phone!

 Who would’ve thought?

 And Rukia gets the gist of it.

 Well sorta.

 She just knows that you can use a phone for almost anything nowadays.

 But he hadn’t really answered what Instagram was, so she asks again.

 “It’s an app in which people post pictures, sometimes with messages, other times not.” Ichigo tells her.

 “So people use it to share their photos with other people?”

 That sounded simple enough.

 “That’s the idea. Though attractive people use it for attention.” He adds.

 “Is that why Inoue has an Instagram?” Rukia asks out loud.

 (That makes him crack up)

 “So, to sum up, it is essentially a virtual album?”

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 It then occurs to Rukia that if Ichigo knows so much about it, maybe he has one.

 So she questions him about it.

 As it turns out, Ichigo does have an Instagram account.

 But he rarely uses it.

 It’s private, to begin with.

 There are just a few people that Ichigo had accepted, including his sisters and his few high school friends.

 He also doesn’t follow a lot of people.

 Besides that, he has only posted two photos.

 The first one is a snap of the river bank as the sun sets.

 There’s no description below and it seems unasuming, but Rukia knows the significance of it once she looks at the date it was posted on.

 The second one is just a picture of two very thick books by English authors.

 Again, there is no description, but she guesses those are a few of his favorite books.

 Other than that, there’s not much on his Instagram.

 Keigo did tag him on a picture with their other friends at someone’s house about a year ago.

 And that’s pretty much it.

 Yet, despite Ichigo’s lack of enthusiasm, Rukia is intrigued.

 She uses his account to browse through Instagram and realizes that he’s right, many attractive people, from celebrities to ordinary teens, post pictures of themselves, some in very suggestive poses.

 Then, there are other people who just share many things.

 Their pets, the places they’ve visited, their significant others, their children and other family members, things they bought, their food, concerts, and so much more.

 Rukia likes that.

 It feels as if they were sharing an intimate glimpse into their lives.

 She feels like she wants to share that too.

 She expresses as much, and Ichigo ends up installing the app into her own human cellphone and tells her how to use it.

 First things first, she needs a handle name.

 Rukia decides that doesn’t want to use her own name.

 Ichigo had told her that she could use a pseudonym in social media.

 She likes the anonymity of it.

 So she chooses a very simple handle.

 It is @krchappy14 and instead of her name, she just writes her initials.

 K. R.

 She becomes just a random Instagram user.

 And her first post is a snap of a drawing she had made, of a single white bunny waving hello with the hashtags #new, #hello and #bunny.

 That is just the beginning.

 Before long, her Instagram is filled with pictures.

 Rukia takes photos of anything she likes and posts them on the app.

 ─ Of sunsets, scattered leaves, the river.

 A stray snail, the white bunny she saw at a pet store, a hummingbird.

 Rain drops on windows, clouds, rainbows.

 A picture of her boots as she stands over a puddle.

 The highest tree in Karakura Town. ─

 There is not a single description in any of them.

 But Rukia uses different emoji under them and hashtags relating to what they are and what she feels about them.

 Soon, she gains a small following.

 At first just Ichigo follows her, and then Yuzu and Karin.

 Ishida, Chad, Mizuiro and Keigo end up following her too.

 Then there are two accounts that seem too suspicious to be just random users.

 (@greenhats4laifu and @_real_black_cat)

 Yet there are other people ─ strangers ─ who follow her for the photographs she posts.

 They like their simplicity.

 How Rukia lets them speak for themselves.

 There are, of course, more intimate ones.

 Ones most people wouldn’t be able to guess their true meaning.

 ─ Two coffee mugs sitting side by side ─ one light blue with a white bunny on it, another black with red accents.

 Two videogame controllers.

 A horror manga next to a copy of Shakespeare’s selected works.

 Pictures of a rainy day with sad face emoji underneath.

 Board games on a table.

 A plate of curry.

 A festival.

 Fireworks.

 A rooftop overseeing the town.

 The silhouette of a young man reading. ─

 Her pictures are not only about things she likes.

 Each one tells a different story.

 And as time passes by, they multiply.

 Eventually Ichigo takes notice and asks her about it.

 “Why do you take so many pictures each time you visit?”

 “Because I don’t want to forget.”

 She simply admits.

 And suddenly she feels raw as Ichigo stares at her.

 “I… I never got to live as a human, so now that I get the chance, there are many things, many moments I just don’t want to ever forget.”

 For Rukia Instagram is more than just an app and photos.

 She uses it as her personal journal.

 But instead of words, it is filled with glimpses of life.

 Each photograph is a brief moment frozen in time that she wants to remember for the rest of her days.

 Everything she gets to experience, everything that she gets to be, is there.

 It is a testimony of her own existence.

 “I just figured that if there comes a time I can’t come here anymore, at least there’d be proof I was here, you know?”

 That I lived, she wants to say.

 Ichigo smiles softly at her.

 “I understand.”

 On her next visit, she is surprised to discover that Ichigo has been uploading more photos on his account.

 It’s not just a few.

 His account is still private, and the same people still follow him, but now there are more than just two lone pictures.

 ─ There’s a snap of his university.

 Pictures of Karin’s recent games.

 A photo of the Kurosakis all eating dinner together.

 A picture of Yuzu focused on her cooking.

 Birds flying through the window.

 A stack of new manga.

 Just a simple picture of his closet.

 A photo of the new CDs he bought.

 A snap of forget-me-nots. ─

 And Rukia soon realizes why he’s taking so many pictures.

 They are not for himself or for other people.

 They are for her.

 Each picture is about something she had missed while she was away.

 Events and anecdotes she gets to hear from her favorite people.

 And that now she gets to see.

 So she smiles at each them as she sees them.

 She treasures them deep in her heart.

 (Now she doesn’t have to miss anything)

 Eventually, their Instagram accounts get filled with photographs that you’d need to see together to get the full picture.

 Each photo becomes a puzzle piece which tells a story.

 Their story.

 ─ Movie tickets.

 Two pairs of ice skates.

 Starbucks orders.

 Pink dresses and leather jackets.

 Drawings and crayons.

 Books and college essays.

 A sunrise.

 Black bracelets.

 Silver rings.

 A field covered in flowers.

 Bunnies everywhere.

 A kitchen.

 Chocolate cake.

 Two pairs of legs covered in blankets.

 Sakura trees in full bloom.

 Dandelions. ─

 And one winter day, they post their best pictures.

 Rukia’s is a simple one.

 She hadn’t taken it, though.

 It had been Yuzu who had snapped it when they hadn’t been looking.

 It has a black and white filter.

 And in the picture, you can see the backs of a man and a woman wearing winter coats.

 They are surrounded by a snowy landscape.

 And the girl has her head on the guy’s shoulder as he holds her close.

 The caption is just a heart emoji.

 Ichigo, for his part, posts two pictures.

 His are more straightforward.

 The first is a snap of Rukia grinning as she throws snow in the air.

 In the second one, they are sitting next to each other.

 As Rukia smiles and blushes, Ichigo is seen pecking her cheek.

 The description simply reads,

 “I’m still not used to the cold, but since she loves snow so much, I gotta learn how to enjoy it too. It’s worth it, though. Just to see her smile.”

 Rukia gets a lot of comments saying she and her boyfriend look cute, even though you cannot see their faces.

 Ichigo, meanwhile, is bombarded by comments from his friends.

 He ignores them, though, as now he is more focused on the girl next to him.

 “Guess this means we’re now Instagram official, nee?”

 She jests as he rolls his eyes.

 “Rukia, please don’t ruin the moment.”

 “You know you love it.”

 “Damn right I do.”

[yeojaa]

                   ❪  VOGUE :  ❫  april 2020  -  click to view high-res!

When Jeon Jungkook first popped up on my radar - as the face of Dior, no less - I didn’t pay much attention to him.  Here, it seemed, was another guy with an unprecedented social media following and a very photogenic face.  You know the type.  

It comes as a surprise, then - a relief, really - to meet Jeon on a bustling Friday night in the heart of New York’s Koreatown.  It’s his idea to have dinner together and I’m not one to turn down barbecue in any of its forms so here we are, tucked into the back corner of a popular all-you-can-eat establishment known for its soju-soaked watermelons.  Jeon, unsurprisingly, looks nearly identical to the photos he posts on Instagram, each one amassing upwards of millions of likes in less than twenty-four hours.  He’s got a leather jacket on -  a staple for his profession, which I’d soon learn wasn’t just pretty boy but actual rockstar - and a bucket hat pulled over his hair.  It’s probably meant to be inconspicuous but I note at least six tables that turn around too many times to be coincidence.

“Is there anything you don’t eat?”  Is one of the first things out of his mouth once we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way.  When I tell him, no, I eat everything and anything, he looks like I’ve just told him his latest single went triple platinum.  

We spend the evening getting grease all over our hands and drinking probably too much beer.  Jeon insists it’s a requirement when enjoying barbecue - “You can’t eat meat without having a drink!” - and I’m not about to say no, though I don’t think I really could.  He’s got a charm that’s both elusive and incredibly apparent but unlike most people in his age bracket, it seems completely effortless.  It’s not hard to see why he’s so successful.

Jeon tells me about his life and growing up in Portland, a place he says “drinks its own Kool-Aid.”  I’m not really sure what that means and ask him to explain, which he does with a laugh that draws the stare of our waitress.  “Portland’s a weird city.  As in, that’s what it’s known for.  Its ‘weirdness’, as if that’s a good thing.  I guess I get the appeal.”  He doesn’t mince words when he speaks, throwing caution to the wind as easily as he drains his third glass of Asahi Black.  “It’s this weird mix of fucked-up addicts who think they’re living in a La Dispute song and “precious” Portland transplants who have no idea how to handle it.”

I ask him whether or not he’d ever go back and he nearly chokes on the piece of lettuce he’s dipped in ssamjang.  He laughs long and hard - I’m reminded of the hyenas in Broadway’s The Lion King - and shakes his head.  “I’m not saying LA’s any better but it knows what it is and what it isn’t.  There’s also a way better food scene there.”  The smile he offers is shameless.  “Better looking girls, too.”  

Although we haven’t known each other very long, I have a feeling he’s leaning heavily into whatever preconceived notion he thinks I have of him.  When I voice my belief, he laughs again, pulling his bucket hat off and tossing his dark hair away from his eyes like an old Hollywood ingenue.  It turns out I’m right.

When I ask him about what has surprised him most about living in LA, he lists things off like he thinks about them regularly, throwing his tattooed fingers up with each count.  “How people will believe anything they read in the media, how many people actively seek out paps, how I really don’t understand how people don’t get trashed at after parties, and how hard it is for anyone to get my name right.”  It’s not surprising how unrepentant he is but it’s still hilarious.  

I ask whether he’s ever considered changing his name or taking a stage name (“What, like Drake?”) and he shoots the idea down immediately.  “My parents gave me this name, just like they gave me everything else.  I’m not about to strip it away so some people can feel better about themselves.”  As someone with a Korean mother and an Italian-American father, I get what he means.  We’ll ignore the fact that I go by my English name.

The longer we spend in the restaurant - far longer than the requisite two hours most other diners seem afforded - the clearer the picture of Jeon gets.  

He loves his family and talks endlessly about his mother, insisting that her kimchi puts this restaurant to shame.  He offers up a few of his biggest influences, citing Canadian duo Majid Jordan, singer-songwriter John Mayer, and trap and bass DJ RL Grime.  He eats with abandon, devouring slabs of pork belly faster than I can blink, though he never hesitates to refill my glass, either.  He tells me how he’s wanted this since he was a kid but that it’s definitely not just sheer, dumb luck that’s gotten him where he is.  He doesn’t explicitly name the apparent sacrifices he’s made but there’s something in his eyes that reads like an obituary.  I don’t press him on it. 

Later on, while I’m editing this piece, Kim Namjoon - his agent and close friend - tells me that Jeon is “the kind of guy who’s effortless.  He’ll try anything and be good at almost everything.  He was made for this.”  

A lot of young celebrities want to be creators but Jeon actually embodies being one.  He gives respect where it’s due, detailing all the long hours he spends writing and in the studio.  “It’s not easy - it takes a ton of work - but that’s what you sign up for.  ‘If you want the career-changing big fish, you gotta be willing to put on the big boy panties and sail out to the deep water.’”  I don’t recognize the quote right away.  Turns out it’s from one of the Fast and Furious movies.

By the time we part ways - he insists on footing the bill, pulling out bills from a Prada bi-fold which he acknowledges with a simple “don’t tell” - I realize nearly five hours have passed.  I get it now.  

It seems that Jeon’s a paradox, equal parts refusal to play by the established Hollywood rules but also someone who wants everything that comes with meeting the expectations.  Someone who wants to have his cake and eat it too.  If anyone can do it, it’s likely him.

cr.  i dare u @ twitter