#I don’t think Steve was wholly in the wrong

[multionyxnow]

Man I was JUST thinking about this. I also hate when people make it out to seem like team Cap was wholly in the wrong when I also would be adverse to something that would limit me and my team from doing our jobs as efficiently as we have been doing. Also Cap distrusting the outward facing idea of a legal document is kinda on par with ya know, him and the whole WWII thing he has going on.

While it’s valid to think that super powered and enhanced individuals should have some oversight and consent of other countries when they are doing their…. Superheroing. I also think that there would be too short of a time for any meaningful oversight to take place AND you can’t really trust the govt. to have everyone’s best interest in mind. So honestly, kinda have to go with Steve here. While I get where Tony was coming from. I think both have flaws and stubborn ideas of their own wanted outcomes of the accords. But I do lean towards team Cap.

In rewatching Captain America: Civil War, it is important to remember that Steve is assembling a team to take on several supersoldier assassins and the mastermind who wants to take over the world while Tony is assembling a team to arrest Steve's team.

The distinction is important.

[tldrthor]

The Princess (ATCSBWH): Part III

Summary: A training session with the Captain, Bucky and Sam goes wrong for the princess. She grows more tired by the day. Unwelcome guests arrive, and mess up Tony's lawn.

Part 3 // Attention. The perimeter has been breached. // word count: 2.5k

part one | part two | my masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's been way too long since we've had a job." Bucky stated matter-of-factly. Sam hummed in response, taking a sip from his coffee. Cap wasn’t entirely sure why they were sitting in the office while he had work to do, considering the two of them very rarely did any of the paperwork they were supposed to. He didn’t mind picking up the slack, but they were very distracting. He was already working double time to try and make it through the ever-growing stack before it got completely unmanageable. 

He didn't look up from the desk, rolling his eyes. "It's been too long since you've had a job, Buck. I've had plenty to do."

Bucky huffed and exchanged a look with Sam. "You're behind because you've been spending a lot of time with you-know-who."

“Man’s got a point,” chimed Sam. “You’ve not been doing your paperwork, and you’ve been neglecting us. We haven’t trained all together since before (y/n)’s arrival.” His tone was joking, but Steve could tell there was a hint hidden within the joke. The captain’s eyes snapped up in a playful warning glance to his friend. "I've been helping to get the Princess settled in and nothing more, if that's what you're implying. That is part of my job."

Sam and Bucky both scoffed. "Yeah, like wandering around the lake and chatting for hours at a time is a chore. Tell it to Peter, who you ‘settled in’ by making him train every day.”

“You’ve gone soft, Stevie.” Bucky teased.

Steve smirked and shook his head. “Fine, let’s train later today. I’ll invite the princess, see if she wants to join.”

Both men seemed happy at the compromise. 

“Now, guys. I’ve got so much to do, please go and bother someone else. I think I saw Parker coming back from school, why don’t you go hassle him?”

The two guys exchanged a glance, shrugged, and nodded at each other. “Sounds good.” And they were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dark water of the lake was rejuvenating. If she closed her eyes, it was almost like she was back on Alfheim, in the crystal waters of the palace pools. The biting cold helped rest her racing mind.

As she floated, eyes closed, delicate raindrops tickled her legs and arms. The wind whipped around her, it’s cold embrace wholly welcomed. She thought of home. Of her family. Of the fact that she was now back alongside the lost love of nearly a century ago.

As she felt the sadness creep into her mind, she realised that she was sore. Her body ached and the bags under her eyes grew by the day. She found as she sat with the others watching films or listening to music, she drifted into a deeper and deeper sleep each time. She feared the Alfsleep was coming for her… It made sense. The last few months had been nothing short of nightmarish. Her hand unconsciously moved to the stab wound on her collarbone as she recounted the attack of that night, and her escape to Asgard.

Steve watched her from the side, not wanting to disturb her peace but wanting to invite her to train with them. From what Thor had said, she had fought in battles with her people's military, and was a prolific warrior. Thor had also called her a magician, and Steve almost didn't want to know what that meant.

"Princess!" He called. 

She didn't hear him, continuing to float. He splashed his hand into the water, hoping that her enhanced hearing would pick up the disturbance in the water.

It worked. She startled, her head lifting from the water. Her features softened as her eyes landed on him. 

He smiled, softly, his eyes crinkling. She loved that smile – a boyish charm that greatly reminded her of her Steve, from before. The boy who went into the ice. 

The memory of that day burned across her memory like a hot poker. She pushed it down.

She moved through the water towards him like something akin to a nymph, a spirit of the water. It was almost as if the water parted for her, she barely made any ripples at all as she moved.

"Good morning, Captain." She greeted him, as he held a hand out to help her onto the dock. She shivered slightly upon leaving the water, quickly covering herself with her towel.

"Good swim?" He asked.

She pulled her coverup over her head, slipping on her sandals to walk back to the living quarters. "It was lovely, thank you." There was a sadness to the kind smile she offered him, that Steve found himself frowning at. He didn't pry.

"Good, good.” He examined her features, finding no answers in them. He continued; “Buck and Sam want to do some training today since it's been a while since we've had a job, I was wondering if you would like to join?" They walked together step by step. 

"I would love to join." She smiled. To be honest, she was so tired. She wasn't sure she would perform her best, or even really had the energy for it, but she would never be so rude as to deny an invitation made in earnest.

They wandered back to the facility, mostly small talking about the weather, and how their mornings had been. Steve commented on the fact she had gone to bed very early the night previous, and asked if she was feeling any better. She nodded politely. It was a lie.

"Well, I'll let you get ready. Join us in gym two when you're done?"

She bowed her head politely, and turned to get changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sight she saw upon entering the gym was quizzical. Sam opened and closed his hand, shaking it as if injured. Bucky held his top up, in order to show his abs. Steve stood with an incredulous look, clearly disapproving of the two’s activities. 

(Y/n) tilted her head in confusion.

“I told you, that’s abs of steel.” Bucky laughed as Sam cursed and continued to inspect his hand, as if broken. As soon as they noticed the princess in the doorway, Sam straightened his back and stopped waving his hand in the air. Bucky dropped his t-shirt, but laughed at Sam’s sudden change in demeanour.

“Oh, hey Princess. I didn’t see you there.” Sam smiled sweetly. 

Bucky laughed, “Yeah, obviously.” He turned to her; “You ready to train?”

Steve stepped up upon the princess nodding to Bucky’s question; “I’ll spar with (y/n) first.” 

The princess noted that he was using her real name, rather than just ‘princess’ more and more now. It made her happy, more settled here. Plus, she wasn’t sure if there was even a planet for her to rule over now. She couldn’t think that way.

She stepped into the ring, the ropes kindly held open by Sam. 

“We’ll go easy first, okay?” The captain kindly offered. 

The princess smiled, a radiant smile that made Steve’s face blush almost imperceptibly. Almost. “I don’t need you to go easy on me, Captain.” They laughed together.

“Okay, go.” Bucky and Sam watched on as neither of them wanted to make the first move. They both held their hands in defensive positions, circling. Each had their eyes narrowed on their opponent, observing every change in musculature, every breath the other made. 

Sam hadn’t fully believed the stories Steve and Bucky had told him about this young woman taking down entire squadrons on her own, but in the way she moved, she resembled a viper.

She struck. A blur towards him, going for his mostly unguarded torso. He blocked her, barely. Both Sam and Bucky suddenly realised this was not going to be as straightforward as they thought.

“Okay…” Steve muttered. He made his first offensive move, a slower-than-normal right hook towards her shoulder. She not only blocked, but used the momentum from blocking to flow into her opposite shoulder, and land a pretty heavy hit on his side.

“Woah.” Commentary from the sidelines was unheard by either of the sparring pair.

A blow from the princess, blocked. A retaliation from the Captain, dodged. It went on like this for a while, neither having enough fire to really finish the fight. 

Attack. Dodge. Kick. Punch. Block. Hit. Dodge. Move.

The princess faked to the right, blocked an incoming right-hook, sank to the floor and swept his leg out from under him. He hit the deck with a hearty oof, lying on his back. The princess stood over him, her chest rising quickly up and down, her face glowing. 

She spoke quietly: “If we were truly fighting, my dagger would be at your throat.”

Steve wouldn’t admit out loud that the way she said it gave him goosebumps. 

“Damn, that’s cold.” Sam uttered quietly. Both men giggled at Steve’s perplexed look. 

(Y/n) held out her hand, and helped her partner up.  “You got me.” Steve smiled politely. 

“Come on now, Captain. I know you pulled your punches. Fight me seriously.”

He tentatively agreed, readying himself again.

Sam called the start of the fight. They began quicker this time, Cap trying to do as he was told, and fight seriously. He swung for her side, landing the blow. It was a little harder than he had meant to.

“Oh god, I’m sorry –” before he could finish his sentence, she landed a rough kick to his side and sent him off kilter.

“Do you apologise on the battlefield, Captain?” She teased as she moved around him. Everything was happening so fast.

They were landing more hits this time, blocking less efficiently in a more offensive fight than the last. She hit hard, and moved in such an unpredictable manner that Cap found it rather difficult to tell where she was going next. It was a fighting style that reminded Steve of his training sessions with the Asgardians.

He landed a blow to her hip, going low to try and gain more ground and block her onslaught of well-timed and executed hits and kicks. It worked, she gasped and took a step back. He saw an opening.

As his fist met her collarbone, she cried out. 

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. He thought. He had completely forgotten about her stab-wound right where he had landed that blow. You idiot. You've hurt her.

The princess’ knees buckled from the pain as he rushed forward to catch her. Bucky and Sam moved inside the ring as well as soon as they registered what was happening.

“Princess, I am so sorry. I forgot about your wound.” Cap sat her on a stool passed to him by Bucky. The princess was much more pallid than before, resembling nearly a shade of green.

“It’s alright, Captain. Please don’t worry about it.” She said through gritted teeth, her hand not leaving her wound. Blood red soaked her flowy shirt like ink. 

“(Y/n), you’re bleeding quite a lot. I think we should get you to medical.” Sam, snapping into responsible mode, picked up one of the clean towels and pressed it firmly to her wound. Steve took her other arm, and they gently led her to the medical wing. 

Steve didn’t think he had ever hated himself more than he did now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So you’re all restitched and ready to go.” Dr. Cho smiled, rapidly pressing the keyboard on her tablet. “But no more training, okay?”

The princess nodded in promise, and the captain winced shamefully.

Turning to him, the princess spoke; “I’m sorry I ruined your training session, Captain.”

“No! No, it was me. I completely forgot you were stabbed a couple of weeks ago. I got too caught up in the fight. I’m sorry.”

“Then I suppose we are both sorry.” She smiled at him. He smiled back. “Would you mind escorting me back to my chambers? The beeping from the machines is incredibly loud.”

He hadn’t even noticed the gentle noise coming from the various pieces of equipment around them, but he nodded and obliged, helping her up. He stabilised her with the  arm that hadn’t been put in a sling. Dr. Cho had taken to completely immobilising even the smaller wounds as she had discovered that it helped remind the Avengers that they were not to move.

It would be indecent of him to admit that, actually, the feeling of her skin on his skin sent electricity running through his veins. A memory flashed across his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His heart fluttered as they entered the bar. He watched, entranced, as she appeared from behind Agent Carter.

Her hair was pinned perfectly, her otherworldly glow radiating from her wonderful smile. She wore a gorgeous, flowy dress that on anyone else would be unstylish. But on her, it was perfect.

"God, you're smitten!" Bucky watched the way Steve's face never moved from the girl who had just walked in. Steve had had crushes before, sure, but this was something else.

"Yeah, I am." He smiled.

And what's worse is he could see it in the dame's face too.

"Hi." She breathed, a nervous aura surrounding her shining smile. He, ever the gentleman, offered to take her coat, and gently hung it up at the door.

"Bucky, this is Agent (y/l/n)." Bucky smiled and said hi politely, turning on his usual charm. "And this is Agent Carter." Steve introduced both of them.

"Call me (y/n)." The first woman shook his hand. The other said hello, and quickly ordered a drink and left to sit down with the commandos.

"Nice to meet you, (y/n)." He raised a glass to her, and then left the lovebirds to their business.

The band struck up in a wonderfully jazzy song. The bar cheered, the howling commandos joining in with the lyrics. They clinked their drinks together, and shared a drink, before setting them back down on the bar.

Steve leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Yes, please." She replied.

When she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around her waist, he thought it would feel awkward. He thought it would require getting used to. But it was the most natural feeling in the world. Like this, this moment, was where he was always supposed to be. If the string of fate existed, he had reached it's origin. Her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you want to go to your room? I would rather you be somewhere we can keep an eye on you.” Steve spoke more assertively than he had with her since her arrival. 

“I am very tired, Captain. I promise I will be more than okay, Dr. Cho has fixed the stitches that were ruptured. I will report to you first thing tomorrow, you have my word.” 

He tensed his jaw in deliberation, but eventually agreed. “Okay, but please tell FRIDAY to fetch one of us if you need anything.”

“Of course, Captain. Good night.” She bowed her head in curtsy, entering her bedroom and closing the door behind her. After a few, long seconds, she heard his footsteps echo down the hall. 

She breathed out a long, shaky breath. The darkness on the edges of her vision started to creep inwards, the all-too-familiar feeling taking over her every muscle. Although she had only done this once, she knew exactly what was happening.

The Alfsleep.

“No…” She whispered to nobody, landing on the floor. Her vision faded and her breathing slowed, knowing it was futile to resist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How is she?” Bucky asked as Steve entered the kitchen, a forlorn and guilty look on his face. He walked over to the fridge, took out some milk, and drank it straight from the bottle. He ignored Tony and Natasha’s exclaims of gross!

He placed the milk back in the fridge, and perched himself on one of the bar stools. “She’s okay, I think. Hurt. She seemed really tired, and I’m a little concerned, but when I tried to get her to be somewhere we could watch her, but she just wanted to go to bed.”

Buck and Sam nodded sympathetically to their friend.

“She’s been through a lot. Maybe she just needs space.” Sam offered helpfully. “Come on, that show you like to watch has released a new episode. We can watch it to get your mind off of it.”

Steve shuffled to the couch, slumping on to it with a defeated posture. Guilt was tearing at him, and Buck especially could tell. He squeezed his friend's shoulder in support, knowing that words wouldn’t help the storm in his brain right now.

Their peace was quickly disrupted by a siren and red, flashing lights.. 

Attention. The perimeter has been breached. Attention. The perimeter has been breached.

Each of them jumped into action, pulling concealed weapons from around the room and sprinting towards the armoury. Tony grabbed a tablet and projected the security footage into the room.

“Bucky, come with me. We have to protect the princess.” Cap ordered, immediately assuming the role of leader, as the others headed to investigate the breach and gear up. “Sam, bring our weapons and meet us at (y/n)’s room when you can.”

Sam nodded, as Bucky and Steve took off towards the princesses bedroom.

“Oh, shit.” Tony remarked, eyes glancing back and forth across the screen.

Three, dark spaceships, landed menacingly on the lawn. And a small army of Dark Elves in front of them. All out for the Princess' blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been really busy at university. Now that it's the holidays I'm going to try and get a few chapters of this story out before I go back to school in January!

As always, constructive feedback is super appreciated, I'm always trying to learn and improve. Even if you have any ideas for where the story could go, or any scenes! My anon asks are open should this be a preferred method of communication <3

Sorry for the long message!

TAGLIST

@aliciaasky @vicmc624 @jvdgement @megluv1 @moviegurl2002 @capswife @gothamlovr91 @hi172826 @hopefulbonkvoidland @silentscream2022 @rottentothecorey @jules-and-gemss @saturnhas82moons @yiiiikesmish @exposition-belongs-somewhere @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers

Thank you guys for your support! As always let me know if you want to be removed from my taglist <3 x

[armored-angel4798]

2023

Steve knew, the moment he saw Eddie’s first message that he wasn’t going to like what they had to say.

EdM0112: Are you busy?

KingSteve: no, why?

EdM0112: I have some silly little news to give you. It’s nothing bad!

KingSteve: what is it? Wait, let me guess, YOU’RE PREGNANT!

EdM0112: hahaha, no, nothing like that.

KingSteve: so what?

EdM0112: I am engaged!

KingSteve: oh, really? That’s Great!!!

It was, in fact, not great. Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest felt so, unbelievably heavy and tears started pouring, unbidden, down his cheeks. Robin. He needed Robin, she would know how to help him. She helped him the last time his pesky feelings came out of the hole he had buried them in.

See, Eddie and Steve had never been good together. Steve was well aware of this fact, thanks to endless hours of talking to Robin. They were teenagers when they first got together, and neither of them had any clue how a relationship should work. Eddie was figuring themself out and they weren’t comfortable with Steve’s easy affection or deep wells of devotion and love. Steve had been too much. He had loved much too hard and much too fast and it ran Eddie away. They had never been good at the communication side of the relationship either. They were never on the same page or even in the same book most of the time. Yet, none of this had stoped Steve from giving his heart to Eddie. None of this made him think for even a millisecond that they couldn’t figure it out, that they couldn’t be together, that they wouldn’t be together forever.

Steve had always thought that he would be the one putting a ring on Eddie’s finger. Until Eddie handed his heart back to him in a million tiny pieces.

2019

“Eddie, please. I love you, Eddie.”

“Steve, we aren’t good for each other, can’t you see that? We haven’t done anything other than hurt one another this whole past year of dating.”

“You don’t have to do this Eddie! I can be better, I can be whatever you need me to be, just please don’t leave me.”

“Steve, the fact that you don’t see how fucked up that is only solidifies that this isn’t good for either of us.”

Steve was sobbing. He was sobbing and Eddie was mad at him. He just needed to know what he was doing wrong. He could fix it. He had to fix it. If Eddie left it would just prove what his parents had always shown him. He is unloveable. He is never good enough. Never strong enough. Never caring enough. Never enough. He just wanted to be enough.

“Steve, this has to be over. For both of us.” Eddie sounded so exasperated. So tired.

Steve nodded, still sobbing.

“I’m… I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy, Eddie. I’m sorry. Please, I love you.”

“And I’m sure I will always love you, but I’m leaving. I have to go. I can’t be myself here, Steve.” Eddie was whispering now, running their cool hand down Steve’s cheek. Steve watched Eddie’s tears roll down their own cheeks as they wiped his away. “I’ll still be just a phone call away, but I have to move on.”

Steve grabbed Eddie’s wrist and nodded. Giving up hurt worse than anything but he couldn’t keep causing Eddie pain. He couldn’t keep them here if they would be unhappy and anything other than wholly themself. Eddie moved across the country that day and never looked back.

2023

Steve isn’t really sure when he called Robin, but he apparently did because she was here. She was picking him up off of the floor that he had sank to, his phone still on the couch cushion behind him.

“Hey, hey, Steve” she patted his cheeks and he blinked. “There you are. What happened Stevie? You called but never said a word so I came to check on you. You don’t look good. Why are you crying?”

Steve brought his own hand up to his cheek, it came back wet.

“Eddie is getting married.”

“Woah, okay. I didn’t even know they were dating anybody.”

“Me either” Steve whispered.

“And how are you handling this information?” Steve gave her a glare that he’s sure lost some of its sterns by his no doubt puffy eyes. “Yeah, so not great.” Steve snorted. “Do ya want to talk about it.”

“I thought I was done with this. I thought I had moved past it. Why? Why did I break the moment they told me that they were engaged.”

“I’ve gotta be honest here, Steve, the situation you put yourself in wasn’t the best. You knew Eddie was moving on. They told you they were. You never really let them go. You stayed close and kept your own hopes up. This just crushed them.”

Steve flopped his head over on her shoulder.

“Why cant you be my therapist, again?”

“Conflict of interest, babe. I would be too clouded by my love for you to give you the advice you need.”

“It’s never stopped you before.” Robin chuckled and ruffled his hair. “I don’t think I ever actually let myself work through my heartbreak. I just kind of shoved it down far enough that it wasn’t a problem to keep talking to Eddie as if they’d never broken my heart. I still wanted them to be my best friend. Eddie knows me better than almost anyone, besides you, and it felt harder to lose that than to bury my feelings.”

“Yeah, you’ve buried more than you would ever let anyone you love even think of going through. Don’t you think you’ve held on to enough? Just let it go, Steve. It’ll be okay. I’ll be here.”

“You won’t leave me too?” Steve’s voice sounded so so small, even to himself.

“Never.”

And Steve broke.

[magical-reid]

Prompt List

Make a request! Pick a character and then pick a number or numbers! My goal is to get all 50, so I’m crossing off the ones I’ve done to keep track, but that doesn’t mean you can’t request them!

The Characters I currently write for:

Spencer Reid, Lip Gallagher, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Sebastian Sallow, Draco Malfoy, Bucky Barnes, Stiles Stilinski, Steve Harrington, and Eddie Munson

Prompts:

“I just cant see myself ever living without you.” 

“If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

“The closest thing to love at first sight I’ve ever experienced happened when I first laid eyes on you.” 

“I didn’t believe in soulmates until I met you.”

“Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?” 

“You owe me a kiss.”

“Go with me?” “Only if you hold my hand.”

“I’d feel much better if you’d let me walk you home.” 

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

“You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.”

“I’ve never felt this way before, and truthfully it scares me. But, the idea of never trying scares me even more.”

“You’re telling me you believe in love at first sight?” “I’m starting too.”

“I promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.”

“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?” 

“You give me a reason to be better, to do better.”

"All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home.”

“They don’t compare to you. No one does.”

“I thought I had the worst luck, until I met you.” 

“No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.” 

“I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met.” 

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

“You brought me breakfast?” “Well you said you always forget to eat before you go to work, so I thought I’d make sure you ate something.”

“Everything feels right when you are with me.”

“I don’t care what others say, I want to be with you and that’s all that matters to me.” 

“You bought me flowers?” “Yeah, well I noticed you’d seemed kinda down, so I wanted to cheer you up.” 

“I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.” 

“I wasn’t sure what love really felt like until I met you.” 

“You owe me.” “I owe you $20 not a day of pretending to be your partner to get your parents off you’re back.” 

“I can braid your hair for you- I mean, only if you want.” 

“Maybe if you stopped staring at them and actually talked to them, you might have a chance.” 

“You said you wouldn’t fall in love with me.” “I lied.” 

“I want you. All of you, and not just halfheartedly, but wholly. And maybe that’s selfish, but I don’t care.”

“Can you stay? Just for tonight, please. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.” “'l’ll stay for as long as you need.” 

“You are my family.”

“We’ve been by each other’s sides for years, you think I’m gonna leave now?”

“Take my jacket, I don’t want you catching a cold.”

“I’d wait a thousand lifetimes for you, because you are worth waiting for. So when you are ready. I’ll be right here.”

“I will never stop fighting for you. I will never stop protecting you.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always on my mind”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t want you to die for me, I want you to live for me.”

“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”

“How long have you had this planned?” “Since the moment I fell in love with you.” 

“You came all the way here for me?”

“Why are you staring at me?” “Because I think you’re beautiful.” 

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” “I think I’m okay with that.” 

“What are you doing here?” “I wanted to see if you were okay.” 

“The world gets a little brighter when your around.”

“They say we wont last.” “Then lets prove them wrong.” 

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

Fandom asks for MCU <3! 3, 5 (Loki), 6, 9, 17 (Tony), 22 (Emma)

3. NoTP?

Scott Summers/Jean Grey, Logan/Jean Grey, Anyone/Jean Grey (I mean, if I have to have her around in a fic and shipped with anyone, it's usually another character I don't dig either), Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, Anyone/Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers/Sharon Carter, Steve, Bucky, Sam/Brock Rumlow, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts (I mean, I can deal with their relationship as a past relationship turned best friends, but I'm not gonna read or write their ship as I think they weren't really healthy for each other - like Ross and Rachel.) Loki/Grandmaster (I will make references to it as a past thing that Loki did for survival but he hates it). Loki/Thor (There's some pretty-pretty artwork out there, and I will acknowledge that it's gorgeous and can enjoy it as artwork, but as an actual pairing, no. Just not my thing.)

5. Out of all your fanworks that include [Loki], which is your favourite?

Obviously, my on-going WIP series Hemispheres would be the top of that favorite list, but then I'd have to say I'm torn between these two:

What's on your mind, half of the time, (brother mine)

and

A little shy and sad of eye but very wise was he

Both of them feature Loki in vulnerable moments. The first one, he's like 5 and tiny and adorable and scared of the storm. He gets to meet a stranger who boosts his confidence a little. And the second one, he comes back after a grueling time in Asgard with Thor, who's still being far too bullying, and his friends and is really low about it, and Tony gathers everyone up to make a blanket fort (as Loki's never experienced one before), order Loki's favorite take-out, and watch movies to comfort him. Wholly self-indulgent on the comfort side.

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

From "Too weird to live, too rare to die" (Justin Hammer/Loki)

“So Loki made friends with Natasha by helping her with mission stuff?” Justin roped them back around to the other topic. 

Nodding, he answered, “Yeah.  He did some spellwork for her.  Imbued it into a piece of jewelry that essentially all she’s gotta do is think about how she wants to look, and that’s how she looks.  The spell lasts as long as she needs it to, and then when she’s ready to not look different, she just thinks of herself and bam.  Nat again.  No more dying her hair unless she wants to, no more contacts, no more tech that can blitz out on her.” 

Justin looked impressed.  A little skeptical, him being a tech and science guy like Tony, especially tech, but still impressed.  He wondered how Loki’s ‘magic’ could be utilized in their own tech, but he figured Tony had already been thinking about that. 

“Nice.  Sounds like he’s much better as an ally than an adversary,” Justin remarked as he finished with the last of the dishes.  He dried his hands and hung up the towel again. 

Tony took in how easily Justin took on the domestic task of dishes.  Seems like he learned some humility in prison, after all, and wasn’t looking to be waited on anymore.  Perhaps there was hope for guys like them after all. 

“Much better as an ally, though don’t let the gentle smiles and the fun tea parties he has with Morgan fool you.  He’s still dangerous when he wants to be.  He’s like a cat.  Don’t rub him the wrong way or you’ll find his claws slashing your hamstrings,” he joked, but the serious look in Tony’s eyes said he wasn’t actually joking. 

Justin walked over to the fridge, grabbing a glass along the way, and filled it up with ice and water.  He took Tony’s glass from him to fill it up, too, and handed it back, refusing to see the pleasant surprise in that gaze that followed him around to take a seat at one of the tall chairs at the counter.  Cold, pure water rushed down his throat and gave him time to think of how to respond to what Tony said.  Setting the glass on the counter, Justin turned it around and around, watching as the water remained calm even in its movement. 

“You think Loki’s dangerous to people here and you let him stay?  He’s really close to Morgan from what I hear.  I don’t see him much.  Passing in the halls, when we eat.  That’s about it, but your kid adores him.”  Justin let out a breathy laugh.  “I think she adores all of us, though, so I think that’s just her.  Big heart.”  Like her dad. 

Moving across the kitchen so he could belly up to the counter next to Justin, Tony took a drink of his water and set the glass down.  Two men, both at one time consumed by the big buck, by reputation and prestige and power, by controlling the playing field where weapons and tech were concerned, rivals – not bitterly so but rivals nevertheless, now sitting side by side, drinking fucking water for fuck’s sake, when they used to be dripping in the finest whiskey and women.  Burying the hatchet, and not in each other’s skulls. 

Tony never would’ve believed it could happen, especially not after he and Rhodey had to face down Vanko and the shitstorm he brought that Justin bankrolled. 

It was kind of nice, though, given that one of the last people Tony’d wronged in the past had injected his ex with Extremis, which still made Pepper a fiery handful to deal with, but at least, they’d gotten a handle on it for her so that she did set people on fire with her fists anymore.  While he’d never specifically wronged Justin the way he had Aldrich Killian (and really wronged was a little strong for just saying he’d been a spoiled dismissive asshole), he had been a dismissive asshole, which pushed Justin to make one of the worst decisions of his life. 

“I don’t think Loki’s a danger to Morgan ever,” Tony finally stated and tilted his head to meet Justin’s curious stare.  “I don’t think Loki’s a danger to me or Bruce or probably not Thor anymore.  Not since we’ve all sorta ganged up on Thor and told him not to be a dick to his brother.  The stabbing’s stopped at any rate.  You, though.  He doesn’t know you well enough yet, so I’d just say...tread carefully.  You never know when you’ll end up on a mission with him.” 

“Yeah, about that,” a voice from behind them announced. 

Tony and Justin swiveled their seats. 

Phil Coulson met their eyes. 

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

Okay look, I have so many bookmarks and fics I could recommend that are tear-jerkers, kept me on the edge of my seat through months and months, that made me swoon, and I could easily give any and all of those. I could and I would! But this asks for one fic, and I'm gonna go with one that made me LOL so hard it woke up dog up from a nap in the other room and had my sister asking me if I was okay because for a second, I couldn't breathe.

Clark's Chicken by @kleenexwoman

I don't normally read DC fanfic. I like DC okay enough to know generally who the major players are, but I'm not invested. However, I am invested in my friends and their creative sparks, unless I'm just really not at all into a particular fandom. I can't really write a full review to say what it's about other than it's not exactly safe for work, definitely not for kids, though teenagers would love this, I think. I think that's why I love it - I'm still 12 and masturbation and fart jokes make me giggle. (There are no fart jokes in this, but discussion around masturbation is.) I want as many people as possible to read this fic because all the laughter in the world could finally heal humanity, I think, and if we could all laugh our asses off at this one, it could drive out the darkness all around us these days. Seriously, I believe this fic has the potential to lighten the world, to drive out the fascists, to heal the sick and sad, to build a protective bubble around the vulnerable - all through the laughter that this fic will grace people with. READ IT AND LEAVE KLEENEXWOMAN SOME LOVE ON IT.

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think [Tony] would like?

Book - American Gods - He really rooted for the New Gods at first, especially Technical Boy and Media, but somewhere in it, he really dug Mr. Wednesday, Mr. World (and especially Mr. World's reveal).

Movie - Real Genius

Show - McGyver (remake)

22. Give us a headcanon for [Emma]

So many people give Emma shit for being cold, stand-offish, and snobby, and because of this, Emma performs that to perfection. However, around those who see past this barrier, she's loving, warm, tender, kind, encouraging, compassionate, and has one of the biggest hearts they've ever met - and she uses her big bucks to take care of the people she loves.

Thanks for the asks!!!

Fandom Ask Game.

[kavehinpink]

for my heart (1.9k)

When Corroded Coffin goes on tour it’s the first time since they got together that Steve and Eddie sleep apart. Eddie had wanted Steve to go with them and Steve had wanted that too but he had already promised to coach little league and he might be able to weasel out of work but he couldn’t leave the kids hanging.

So Eddie leaves and they talk every day on the phone and sleep in separate beds. Steve hates it. Not having Eddie by his side every morning makes his chest ache and he takes every opportunity he can not to be in their empty house alone. He keeps it together most of the time but he knows he's moping. Robin doesn’t even tease him about it, just spends long nights in his living room drinking with him and watching bad movies like they used to do as teenagers. 

“What are you going to do if he makes it big?” Nancy asks one day when she comes to pick up her girlfriend and take her home after a long weekend of Steve keeping her to himself. “He’d be on the road a lot.”

Robin elbows her and Steve makes a wounded sound. “I know, I know. I have to get used to it, it’s just… it feels wrong for him to be gone. Like I’m missing a limb.”

Nancy looks at Robin and nods. “I know what you mean.”

Robin blushes and Steve pushes them out the door so they can be in love somewhere else. When Eddie calls that night he feels gloomy and exhausted. There’s noise from wherever Eddie is calling from and Steve wishes he was there with him.

“I miss you Stevie, so much. The show tonight was great and I wish I could kiss you.”

“When you get back I’m going to kiss you for hours. Days maybe.”

“I’ll hold you to it big boy.”

They hang up too quickly, Eddie called away by one of his bandmates and Steve not wanting to guilt him into staying on the line. His sleep is fitful and the pillow he wraps himself around is a poor substitute for Eddie’s solidity and warmth.

After practice the next day he gets in his car and drives into town. He sits in the parking lot across the street from the jewelers for twenty minutes before he gets the courage to go in. He’s thought about this a lot, buying a ring. They can’t marry legally and they haven’t really talked about it. He’s a little worried he’s just overcompensating because he misses him.

But he loves Eddie, wholly and without doubt.

He buys an antique silver band that has a simple dark stone set into. It will match the other rings he always wears. Steve brings it home and then doesn’t know where to hide it so that Eddie won’t find it before he’s ready. He eventually stuffs it into the cabinet with their baking dishes because Eddie is tragic at making anything that doesn’t come out of a can.

Eddie calls him early in the night and they talk for hours. The tour is going well. The venues are small but they sell out and their manager “has a good feeling about things.”

“I’m so happy for you guys, Eds. I wish I was there to see you play.”

“Next time Stevie, I don’t think I can do this separation thing again, not like this. I haven’t had any decent sleep in weeks.”

Steve feels his heart squeeze in his chest. “I don’t think sleep and touring usually go hand in hand. Isn’t it supposed to be all partying and groupies?”

“There’s definitely partying,” Eddie concedes. “And groupies I guess, but none of them want to hang around me.”

“What!? Why? You’re the hottest person in the band and you’re funny and charming on top of that,” Steve replies, offended on Eddie’s behalf even though the idea of strange people hanging off his boyfriend makes him flush with anger.

Eddie laughs. “Calm down Harrington, you don’t need to defend my character. They don’t want to talk to me because I never shut up about you. Although I’ll be sure to let Gareth know you think he’s ugly.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“Suuuuuure,” Eddie teases and the conversation devolves into laughter and teasing. When Steve goes to bed that night the sheets are still cold but his heart doesn’t feel quite as heavy.

Eddie’s nervous. Steve’s at work and he has a few hours in the house alone before he’ll be back. His van is at Gareth’s so as not to give himself away. As far as Steve knows, he’s still on the road, not due home until tomorrow. 

It had been Nancy’s idea to tell him they’d had car trouble and they’d be delayed getting back. He’d hated lying to Steve, he never lies to Steve, but Nancy assured him it was okay for the sake of a romantic gesture.

Now that he’s home, in their shared space and surrounded by Steve’s scent, he feels like he should have done more. His romantic gesture, which had felt so big in his mind the last few weeks, he now fears will fall short. He just wants Steve to know how much he means to him, how important he is. How serious Eddie is about them.

Maybe he should have gotten balloons. Or rose petals to lead from the front door to the kitchen.

He debates calling Nancy and seeing if she can deliver rose petals but reigns himself in before he can start dialing. 

He pulls out the ring he’d found at a shop in Chicago, a gold band with the words “for my heart” engraved on the inside. The second he’d seen it he knew it was the one. He runs a finger over the metal and takes a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine and Steve is going to say yes. He says it out loud and then snaps the velvet ring box closed, tucking it into the pocket of his vest.

The afternoon goes by quickly and when the doorbell rings for the food delivery (a proposal dinner didn’t seem like a great time to inflict his cooking on the man he loves) he nearly jumps out of his skin thinking it was Steve before he remembered that Steve wouldn’t ring the bell to his own house. He sets the table, lights candles, and fiddles with the flowers he’d grabbed from the supermarket in an attempt to calm his nerves. He’s going to be seeing Steve for the first time in weeks. He’s going to ask him to be his husband, at least in their own eyes and the eyes of their loved ones.

He feels like he’s going to be sick.

When he hears Steve’s car pull into the driveway he straightens and the sound of the front door opening has him fixing his hair like a high schooler waiting on their date. A few seconds later Steve comes into view, wandering towards the kitchen like he always does after work and Eddie grins big as he freezes in place, eyes wide.

“Eddie!” he yells and all of Eddie’s nervousness leaves him as they launch themselves at each other, laughing and crying and kissing like it had been months instead of weeks.

“You told me you would be home tomorrow!” Steve accuses, pulling away just enough to look at him but with strong arms still holding Eddie tight.

“I wanted to surprise you! I ordered dinner.” He gestures to the table with the food from Steve’s favorite Italian restaurant. 

Steve laughs and burrows back into him, leaving kisses along his neck, his hands starting to wander.

“The food is going to get cold if you keep doing that,” Eddie says, biting back a moan and Steve nips at his skin, hands skating over his hips.

“S’okay, we have a microwave.”

In retrospect, Eddie should have known it was going to go this way and he’s definitely on board. Steve starts to push up his t-shirt and Eddie happily obliges as he pulls off his vest and shirt, tossing them to the floor. They land with a thump and then Eddie remembers the ring box.

The ring box which has fallen out of his vest pocket and is now laying exposed on the kitchen floor. Steve sees it too, and if he had seemed surprised before it was nothing compared to now.

“Eddie-”

“I can explain! It’s… okay, well, you see-” He swoops down and grabs the box, cradling it in his hands as he looks frantically between it and Steve. “This is now how this was supposed to go.”

“Is this a proposal?” Steve demands. “Are you proposing to me right now?”

“Well… yes. Steve Harrington, you are the love of my- hey wait, where are you going? I’m trying to be romantic!”

Steve had pulled away from him and is now digging through one of the cabinets, grumbling to himself. Eddie has no fucking idea what is going on, the plan has gone completely off the rails and he thinks wistfully for a moment about how it might all have gone better if he’d only gotten the damn rose petals.

When Steve turns around he’s holding something small in his hand, lifting it up to show to Eddie. It’s a ring box. It’s a fucking ring box.

“Did you hide that ring in our cake pans? What if I had decided to make you a cake?” Eddie asks, eyes fixed on the box.

Steve snorts. “You have never opened that cabinet in your life.”

Eddie can’t disagree with that. “Wait, are you proposing to me now?”

“This is a mess, I can’t believe this is how we’re getting engaged.”

“Are you saying yes then?”

“Are you saying yes?”

Eddie reaches for him, pulling him back into his orbit before sinking to one knee. Steve’s breath catches and Eddie can already see the wetness gathering around his eyes. He’s such a sap. He loves him. 

“Steve Harrington you are the most amazing, thoughtful, loving person I have ever known and every day with you feels too good to be true. I missed you so much while I was away and honestly I don’t ever want to be separated like that again. You are the best part of every day and I only love you more the longer we’re together. Would you please do me the honor of becoming my husband and illegally marrying me in our backyard with all our friends and family as our overbearing but well-meaning witnesses?”

There are full on tears running down Steve’s face now as he nods wildly, squeezing Eddie’s hand tight. “Yeah, yes Eddie. Yes, I will marry you.”

And okay, so now Eddie is crying too but he manages to get the ring out and slip it onto Steve’s finger, grateful that the fit is just right. Steve pulls him back up and then they're crying and laughing into each other, Steve pulling out the ring he’d bought. Eddie removes one of his chunky skull rings and lets Steve slip the new one on, his heart feeling full to burst.

He’d said yes. They’re engaged. It feels surreal and it takes awhile for them to both stop crying, abandoning tears for more kissing, more touching as they stumble towards the bedroom, the food long forgotten. 

It’s perfect.

originally posted to my twitter & also now on ao3

[peakyblinders1919]

Haddie Harrington Pt. 9

|part 1| |part 2| |part 3| |part 4| part 5 | part 6| |part 7| |part 8|

“I… Steve, I had no idea.” You said, exasperation laced in your voice. Your coffee was cold, halfway gone, and somewhat forgotten as he finished telling his side of the story. Your hand had that precarious way of finding his again, having sought it out for comfort- his or yours, or this time perhaps both- and still, your fingers were interwoven, locked, with no sense of urgency to pull away.

“It’s ok, you couldn’t have.” He shrugged, all nonchalant like he didn’t care when in actuality he cared so much that thinking about it made his stomach twist into knots. Even with your sincere, genuine reaction- though shocked you were, quietly taking in the news- he felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Almost like he was breaking his promise to you again. “I didn’t leave because I wanted to leave you, any of you, I wanted to leave this place… this… hell hole. Literally. I finally had one thing too many taken away from me, I thought maybe by leaving I wouldn’t lose anything else, but I was wrong.”

His mug now sat untouched too, his free hand flexing and unflexing in a fist against the tight fabric of his trousers on his thigh. The other rested comfortably in yours, and though you couldn’t see it, you could always read Steve Harrington like a book.

Your brows knit together, worry lines he wished to reach over and brush away with the pad of his thumb. 

“What is it?”

“I just don’t understand how you think you lost me…” Though it was daring to assume that’s what he had meant, the way he slowly iced you out when he was gone from Hawkins, the way his eye had barely met yours as he explained it all. Painful enough to relive it twice, it was painful to have to feel like you were losing everything for a second time.

You found yourself being pulled back into his orbit, sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for his response. It was like you two were teenagers again, no one else around you mattered, certainly not the other lone couple in the low-lit cafe and the less-than-pleased worker behind the counter who was ready to close up for the night.

He sighed. Maybe it was better this way, you not wholly remembering how he had broken your heart, having to break his own in turn to do the heroic thing, crumbling under the stressors of everything you’d been plagued with. 

“Remember what I told you before we split up?” He asked. Of course you remembered, suddenly he felt like the old Steve, stupid for asking a question he already knew the answer to. But this new Steve, he went on slowly, hoping to ease you back into that day, reliving that moment, filling in gaps that he feared you might still have from it. Gaps that he knew could reopen old wounds. Wounds you never had. His fears were confirmed by the confused look on your face.

“Before we split up? Yeah, yeah you told me…”

“I promise I’ll come back for you.”

“Don’t go doing anything stupid Steve.” 

“You mean like jump into a lake looking for another portal to hell? Too late, already did.”

Now wasn’t a time for flirting, but as Robin and your other friends so obviously liked to point out, there was never a time where you and Steve weren’t flirting. Your love for him went deeper than a few funny, flirty exchanges and questionable touches; you loved his heart, his flaws, the skeletons in his closet. You knew him inside and out and still you loved him unconditionally. And you were sure he harboed at least some of the same feelings based on the way he always offered a home and a shoulder to cry on when you were upset, how he always forgave you when you weren’t at your best. 

It was something that always existed among you two, among the party, written in the stars, confirmed by drunken make-outs that were waved off as mistakes. It always existed but it was never talked about. That’s just the way it was. Until now.

The sun had set, Hawkins nearly asleep, flashlights aglow, everyone cast in blue lights huddled around the stolen Winnebago going over the plan one final time before splitting up. 

You’ll never forget the staleness in the air, the tingling feeling of something so amazing about to happen, something life changing. It was adrenaline mixed with fear, paranoia, and a dash of excitement. You were positive you were all viably insane for what you were about to do.

The stares from Steve didn’t help to ease any tension, only made it worse because you weren’t going with him and the other older teens into the Upside down. You were staying as the “adult” on ground, on the other side, much to his displeasure.

So when the everything was solidided and everyone was beginning to go their separate ways, a light  tug of your wrist had your back pushed up against the trailer, Steve’s chest and height hovering over you, both of you protected under the disguise of darkness.

“You know there’s still time, Nance can stay back-”

“Steve, she’s already prepared with her rifle,” you laughed.

“Ok, so how about Robin…”

“You know she’s a clutz, you’ll have to watch over her down there and she’d be even more frantic up here on her own with the kids…” Even now she was pacing nervously, mouth moving a mile a minute going over the plan again and again with Nancy and Eddie and Dustin. Just as Steve was going to protest again, you clamed him with a warm hand prest to his chest. Over his heart. “It’s alright. It’s won’t be that long. You protect them down there, I’ll protect these ruggrats up here, and then we’ll put our monster hunting days behind us.” Laughing again, a nervous tick to find humor in the darkest of times, a poor attempt at lightening the mood, Steve’s face was a bundle of nerves. So unlike the hero you knew him to be.

“I wouldn’t forget myself if you got hurt.”

“Steve, I’ll be ok… you can’t always protect me.”

“But I want to. I wish I could because… because I couldn’t live with myself in anything happened to you.”

“Steve…”

“Y/N, I love you.”

You swore he was saying it because of the adrenaline, but the look in his eyes suggested anything but. 

“You do?”

Without another word, he leaned into your pace, taking all the air from you as his lips crashed against yours. Hot, desparate, needy, saying everything he wanted to.

“Steve… now is probably not the best time to confess your love for me,” you said, voice just a whisper against his lips.

“No? If not at the end of the world, when?”

“Not whe I’m vulnerable,” you pushed against his chest, trying to clear your head, trying to turn from him and the reality settling around you at his confession and what lie ahead, but in the heat of the moment all you found yourself doing was pulling him back into your space the fabric of his shirt, lips slow and meaningful.

“I love you too Steve Harrington.”

“Come with me.” He pleaded one last time. He begged. Your heart broke. You wanted to be with him, to protect him just as much as he wanted to protect you. The feeling was mutual. But…

“I can’t. I’ve promised them, Steve. Max is scared as hell, Lucas and Erica they’re just kids, I can’t let them do this alone.”

And though he wanted to, there was nothing he could say to convince you. Because he knew deep down, you were right.

“I know, I know,” he assured you, comforting kisses pressed against your temple because with tears setting on his lashline, he couldn’t bare to look down at you too, eyes like his. 

“I’m coming back for you.” You nodded? Burrowing your head into his chest and taking in the feel of him, the taste of his lips, his woodsy signature smell for the first, and hopefully not the last time,

“We’ll be ok. Promise me, we’ll all be ok?”

You felt sickness creeping upon you as the final moments with him tick, tick, ticked away.

“I promise. I promise we’ll be ok, I promise I’ll be safe. I promise I’ll come back for you.”

Everyone was not ok, but there was too much going on around you to realize- or even care- that already one of Steve’s promises to you was broken. In reality, you never believed him to keep them, it was enough that he said it so surely in the moment to keep your bones from shaking under the pressure of the fire coming battle. His words, so strong and sure like he was? We’re enough to get you through the dark night.

But the hiccup in your plan stood in front of you in a Hawkins’ green and gold letterman jacket, not unlike the one Steve used to wear before you were… whatever you eere, when you were just another admirer from afar.

You all seemed to be the target of his revenge story, Lucas at the center of it with a bullseye on his chest. And that’s why you were here, shoving Lucas behind you to keep eyes on Max.

“Jason… you don’t want to do this…”

Rage filled his eyes. He looked through you, gun still held high and straight 

“Jason… Jason, listen to me. It wasn’t Eddie’s fault, it wasn’t Lucas’s there’s-“ you wanted to tell him the truth but there were two used with that 1) he would never believe it and 2) it was already too late.

He wasn’t going to listen to you, a measly obstacle in his way. He clicked the safety on the gun, pointed at you before shifting its sun at Lucas. You wouldn’t stand for it, lunging at Jason and nearly knocking him to the ground, the gun slightly out of both your reaches.

 “Where’s your boy Harrington? Shouldn’t he be here?”

“Steve’s got more important things to deal with right now than your sorry ass.”

It was the attitude that probably out did him in, kicks and punches knocking you off your feet. Aches and pains like you never felt, leaving your vision blurry and nothing but white light towards the end. You fought back as hard as you could yet slowly the energy drained from you to the point where you could only sit against the wall and watch. It finally stopped when Max seemed to hang in the air, knowing one way or another, especially in your condition, now there was nothing you could do for your friends. And one way or another, it was all coming to an end.

“You know Steve, in those moments leading up until you came, I thought there was a chance you weren’t… you weren’t going to make it. And I didn’t want to have to face my failure either; I didn’t keep those kids safe. I wish I could have… but… but it was you showing up that made me find what little I had left to fight on.”

“I never should have left you alone. I should have been with you.”

“Should have, would have, could have. It’s over. It’s the last. Doesn’t still really explain why you left…”

“I froze Y/N. I was so close to losing you, and I had just gotten you, we’d just professed our love. And I.. I promised you the world, I wanted to be able to promise you the world but I failed you… I couldn’t deal with that for the rest of my life. I guess it was easier to leave than disappoint you every day.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, the taste of coffee lingering there, and the reminiscent flavor of Steve’s too sweet chapstick, you fought back tears. Wrestling with yourself about the next words you were about to say.

“Steve, I was never disappointed-“

The lights were dim, the music was soft, barely playing over the speakers now, the girl behind the counter wiping away the day's work with a sigh, and something started beeping. Loudly.

“Would… would you hold that thought for just a second?” He fumbled with something on the wristband of his trousers, finally stopping the beeping as he read the pager before the air spring you two was filled with the scraping of his chair against hardwood. Those worry lines you knew all too well set themselves between his big town eyes, and you nearly reached out to rub them away before thinking better of it. “I’ve got to take this.”

You smiled, a forced wide smile, as he exited in a hurry, leaving you alone to finish your thoughts.

I was never disappointed… until the day you left.

But you thought better of finishing it when he returned to the table, what felt like ten minutes or more later, and it was obvious something was wrong as he was aligning on his jacket.

And suddenly it wasn’t just two teenagers reliving their tragic love story, but a man, a father worried about his daughter and the friend he was on a date with, unsure if there’d be another one.

“Robin called and said Haddie’s having a tantrum. Like throwing books, stomping feet, wailing, type of tantrum because she didn’t tuck her in right and she won’t do the voices in the story like I do so she can’t go to sleep… and uh, I’m sorry. I interrupted you. Care to finish this over a drink? At my place? Come with me, it’ll be quick to settle her, Robin could probably use some reassurance too..”

“Steve Harrington, you just don’t want the night to end, do you?” You didn’t even hesitate. King Steve would have asked to take you home for one thing and one thing only, but by the face of the worker it seemed your time here was up anyway.

“Not if I can help it.” He smirked, the tone and air about you two light again.

You were happy for the break in conversation, there wasn’t much more that could be said, there was nothing left you wanted to relieve from the summer of 1986. You’d gotten your answer; written on his face, written in the stars, confirmed by his hand in yours leading you to the parking lot and him holding the BMW door open for you like old times. 

He’d left because he needed to. He left with good intentions. He left because he thought it’d hurt him, and you, less than him staying ever could.

And maybe you’d soon see that he was right. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Distance gives people time to grow. 

And this Steve Harrington, the version you got to see spring into action that night with his daughter, was the one you were happy to have waited for.

[thestobingirlie]

On the camera scene, so many hardcore Nancy stans who are anti Steve act like Nancy was the only victim of Jon's inappropriate photo session. Like, Steve says it himself, he thinks Jonathan was being stalker. He wasn't confronted for just being a perv and taking one inappropriate photo. He was confronted for all of the creepy pictures. Carol, Tommy and Steve all had a right to confront Jonathan and, honestly, just because the most violating picture was of Nancy doesn't mean they can't be upset too. 3 out of 4 of the living people who were in those photos wanted those photos destroyed and seemed okay with breaking the camera. Maybe they should have invited Nancy to the confrontation but they did not need to have her in charge of how to respond. Steve later regretted it, but he was responding a blatant violation of his privacy. I get in the modern age a lot of people film strangers for clout but I find that creepy too. People hate the paparazzi for a reason. (Low-key kind of a trend where Nancy stans act like she is the only one experiencing trauma or being a victim.)

I sent an ask about how the photos were also violating for Tommy, Carol and Steve. And, I was rewatching the scene where Steve breaks the camera and paused on their faces right before Jonathan says 'I was looking for my brother' and right before Nancy gets there. They look upset. Genuinely, out of the three of them Steve looks the most angry (followed by Nicole who did nothing wrong btw) which makes sense with his later 'protector' reputation but Tommy and Carol look genuinely disturbed by the pictures. I might be bad at reading facial expressions but that's how it looked to me. It also implies that they had just found out about the pictures when Jonathan showed up and Nicole is Carol's friend so obviously she would tell Carol first not Nancy.

(Also with how quickly Carol and Tommy switch from disturbed to bitchy (bitchy - sees pictures - disturbed - Nancy shows up - bitchy) I wonder if them being involved in the upside down stuff would have just made them lash out more at the people who they see as against them - to regain power over their situation - you know, like close ranks and stuff. I also wonder if they hate showing weakness since they seemed to switch to bitchy mode when Nancy showed up)

yes!!! yes, thank you. that is what i always say. nancy isn’t the only victim of jonathan’s photography, but everyone at the party was violated.

was smashing the camera the way i would go? no, i’d call the police. but i don’t think steve, carol and tommy were wholly in the wrong. like you said, i think they honestly all felt violated and grossed out, and i think anyone would. (and yeah, the tiktok culture where people just film strangers is fucking weird and uncomfortable) and just because nancy decided she was fine with the perv shot, doesn’t mean everyone had to be.

(i love thinking about tommy and carol getting involved in upside down, and i do think it’d be really interesting characterisation wise. i definitely think they’d kind of close ranks and start lashing out at people more.)

[thatgirlwithasquid]

tag game: stranger things edition 👻

tagged by @ratbastardbilly and @intothedysphoria (ty guys xx)

1. ride or die ship (your otp): CUNNINGWAY!!! They’re my girls. Chrissy and Heather my beloveds. I have never been so hyped for a ship before and this is the first time I’ve put this much effort into one, but if I don’t advocate for this rarepair then who will? (the answer is bambi. bambi will. but whatever, you get the point)

2. most annoying ship: there isn’t really a ship i find WHOLLY annoying. stancy maybe. i also think jancy and mileven have ran their course and jopper gives me a lil bit of the ick. obvi no hate to the ships or those that ship it!!

3. second favourite ship: ima have to say harringrove, but there are others i like a lot too!!

4. favourite platonic relationship: heather, chrissy & billy. the chaos trio. more should be done with them <3

5. underrated ship: there are so many!! argyle/chrissy (which i am lovingly referring to as pompompinapple, just try and stop me)? byergrove (billy/jonathan)? calicheer (billy/chrissy)??? how can i possibly choose????

6. overrated ship: uhhhh this feels dangerous. but steddie. dont get me wrong, i love this ship, but the boom in works for them was INSANE cause i dont think they have TOO MUCH chemistry in canon (tho there 100% is a good bit and it makes sense)

7. one thing i would change in canon: the blatant lack of care the main cast have for characters outside their group. no empathy for billy, barely anyone looking into heather, characters dying that no one mentions again…

8. something canon did right: I really liked steve and dustin’s dynamic. like, a LOT. they cocked it up a bit in s4 for the sake of ‘haha, dumb steve’ but yeah. theyre sweet :)

9. a thing i’m proud of creating for the fandom: my sideblog @poolsidepanic . i know that its a niche ship but i hope i help other people who love them as much as me actually be able to enjoy their ship and not just… be disappointed when they come up empty handed. the art and little fics and such i make over there make me so happy <3

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldnt change a thing): heather. sassy, bitchy, yet kindhearted lifeguard? yes. the only thing id change is the DISSERVICE THE DUFFERS GAVE HER WHEN THEY KILLED HER AND IGNORED HER EXISTENCE.

11. the character i relate most to the most and why: steve. just how he responds to the offhanded comments the people he cares about make to him, that they never seem to realise hurt.

12. character i hate most and why: neil, karen, brenner. no explanation needed

13. something ive learned from the fandom: idk. ive always wanted to be a positive person but seeing some of the toxicity in the fandom has made me really want to keep my little blog as positive and safe as i can for everyone. some things we see SUCK but if i can make someones day a lil better id like to? so not really a learn but an encouragement to be nicer wherever i can

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: i dont read a lot of st fanfiction, actually. i havent been in the mood for it for AGES!! but in general im a slow burn, hurt/comfort, angst kind of person. i love the occasional, agonising right person not enough time or some character bashing for the sake of compelling suffering (if done right!!!)

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: ooooh fun!!! ‘Groan’, ‘Wet’ and ‘Maggot’ by Dazey and the Scouts are so Billy. ‘Drunk Walk Home’ by Mitski gives me Chrissy vibes, and ‘Maggot’ again for her tbh (billy and chrissy, my sad beloved blorbos). there arent any songs i associate with cunningway yet tho 😔

tagging: @bigdumbbambieyes @hargrove-mayfields @billyhargrovesupsidedownshadow @every-dayiwakeup and anyone else interested in sharing :)

[uglypastels]

(i literally typed this into my notes so i could keep going back to the chapter to make sure i didn’t forget anything and i still feel like i’m forgetting smth and i think it pasted weird so. my bad)

okay so first things first, comments on ch. 7

-amazing. amazing. amazing. amazing. wtf. this fic is like crack and i’m abt to change my address to the inside of your walls

-omg the dream with munson being a total sweetheart!!

-the kiss then slap then second kiss!!?!! (also OH MY GOD THEY FINALLY KISSED)

-and he knew she was going through his shit and reading his letter and even tho he was mad he held it back to first make sure she was okay

-and while they were arguing he still was trying to look out for her and *literally* catching her fall and holding her up (i could die).

-i love him being a little bossy bitch and the slight manhandling like😳😏😔😩 don’t get me wrong i love bossy/dom!eddie fics but they don’t hit as hard if he’s not got a brat to tame…so this is like perfect. (and if u felt so inclined to include even a little more manhandling going forward, i personally would melt this fic down and shoot it into my veins. if not, that’s okay too!)

now some lingering questions that are eating me alive that i’m SO looking forward to getting answers to

-what the fuck did munson give harrington a choice on if not ignore her or die?? what tf did eddie even say to him!!?

-reader wasn’t supposed to be on the ship!?

-reader’s crew did something horrible, possibly to munson and his crew??

also 👉👈 i saw u answered an ask that there could be a nsfw scene and i am begging with my whole heart🥺

peeps, dont read this ask if you havent caught up on Not Wholly Evil

i dont think the walls in my house are big enough but hey, you do you <3 you would mostly get to experience me sitting at my computer for 5 hours straight, constantly getting distracted and then annoyed that I'm not making any progress in the story haha

he is a sweetheaart, deep deep down, but ya know, it's hard to show that when the lady kinda hates your guts

im sorry but idk what she was thinking, it wasn't slick lol, and it is his ship so he knows everything that happens around.

im such a whore for manhandling and i had originally included more of it in the fic but i also don't want to make it like too aggressive because don't want it to get too dark (you should have seen my original draft. she went fucking through it yikes) but yeah i mean stuff might happen who knows (i don't. the planning for this fic is abysmal) and the same goes for the smut.

see the thing i think happened (i say as if im an oracle writing down these events and not making it fucking up in my own head dafuq) but ok- so the thing with Eddie is, he's a bit of a maniac, and i feel like he thinks he gave steve a choice, which was probably consisting of mainly threats, but it was technically a choice + i steve absolutely knew what eddie was up to so he just let it slide because fuck ok, get yo girl i guess.

hey, i said it from the very first chapter! its all in their baby

and about that last question... you'll have to wait and see

ok, so, this was such a treat to wake up to!!! thank you so much for the asks you do not understand how much i love answering these

[s-s-s-sideblog]

it’s literally just summer. that’s what it is. what do you mean two years ago i was extremely lonely and had nothing to do and an unstable home life and was filled with self hatred and then reading fanfiction about steve from stranger things getting railed within an inch of his life (among other things) genuinely changed my life. and also now that they’re filming again i’m reminded of the grip this silly little show has on my life which is so!! silly!! and i’m trying not to be embarassed because for the first time ever i have a solid friend group that doesn’t primarily consist of people who regularly engage in fandom culture. i think it’s the paradox of like. now that i’m socially accepted it’s harder to be weird because i actually have something to lose if people think i’m strange and off-putting. and also i have in fact spent nine straight weeks with people i don’t know well so i’m masking like 24/7, either by literally pretending to Be Normal or by putting up with the sensory nightmare that is my current living situation.

also i don’t currently have an ongoing piece of media that i’m extremely interested in and can talk about. like not even in an autistic way i just need something to engage with meaningfully because modern family reruns are no longer cutting it. and books are good but they make me sad and montreal makes me sad because it reminds me of loneliness. it reminds me of scream-crying at my dad in the airport because our flight got delayed and i didn’t know how to handle things like that yet. crying a lot, actually, because i love my dad but he doesn’t get it and no one does and actually i’m going to die alone because i am fundamentally unable to love someone wholly!! oh except for maybe my childhood best friend who i was waiting for to wake up one day and realize she was in love with me too but instead she ditched me for the first man who was nice to her. and now we don’t talk and i see her tumblr posts still and sometimes they’re just batshit insane and make me wonder what kind of person she’s become. and actually i think i’m just isolated because i’ve seen almost no one except my coworkers and the fucking townspeople since may. but also sometimes when my friends say they love me i don’t believe them. and lily told me i was a beautiful soul when she was drunk and i went to bed and cried because i was convinced that if she Knew The Truth she’d change her mind (what even is The Truth??). and that i held my breath and squeezed my other friend’s hand when i saw someone i didn’t want to see and she made and offhand comment about me being scared of him and i’m not, not really, not of him, i just know that we’re not so different and everyone did hate him once they Knew The Truth and even though everyone says i’ve never done something as horrible as he has so i shouldn’t worry i don’t know if that’s true. and christ what does it say about me that i cared for him? (loved him? wanted him to love me? did i even?) that i saw myself in him? that i kinda thought i was being used but i let him do it because i liked the attention? that this fucking mealworm of a man is always in the back of my mind, like a devil on my shoulder, like a snake waiting to strike? what the fuck does it say about me, this borderline psychosexual obsession? i think it says that i’m still secretly convinced that if i hate him enough i will kill the part of myself that is like him. but i don’t hate him, because i don’t really truly hate many people, but also because i don’t hate myself. because i know there’s a world where i didn’t get better and i turned out like him and i would want the world to have sympathy for me so it makes me feel sympathy for him. himhimhimhimhim jesus christ it’s embarassing to think this way about a man i knew for less than a year. but also shaming myself will only make it worse, like when you punch a non-newtonian fluid. there’s no wrong way to feel. there’s no wrong way to feel. i’m not hiding anything. i swear i’m not. sometimes i wonder what i’m hiding without meaning to, though.

[drewoclock]

Social Caterpillar

Originally published November 17th, 2013

For nearly all of my life thus far, I have been introverted until proven extroverted.  I have not interacted with strangers unless I was naturally given on opportunity to; in other words, until I was somehow forced to.  I would then proceed to be my extroverted self, and most of the time, people would respond positively to it and I would make friends.  In nearly every community I’ve been involved in, this is what has happened.

But as it would happen, depending on opportunities to make friends puts a lot of your stock in luck, and my luck isn’t always the best—including right now.  I don’t have the advantages of high school where I was trapped in a building with over a thousand people and involved in five plus extra curricular activities.  I’m currently involved in one minor activity and not trapped in a building.

My luck can change.  I can make friends from classmates.  I have plans to get involved in many more extra curricular activities.  But I’m considering a third option that I’ve never braved to do before: Just being extroverted.

Perhaps the most inspired I’ve been to consider this route is at college parties.  I was just at one tonight, where I sat against a wall for over two hours before deciding to leave.  I could have had fun at that party had I just been extroverted.  I thought things like I could go downstairs and dance, or I could go play beer pong, or I could just introduce myself to people.  But I didn’t.  However, If someone asked me to dance, or asked me to play beer pong, or asked me to introduce myself, I totally would.  Why is that?

When I’m forced into a social interaction, it doesn’t feel like I have any personal stake in it.  So if I wind up being disliked, I don’t take it personally.  But when I initiate things, it suddenly becomes a different game: People disliking me becomes personal.

I’m not sure why I’m so sensitive to it.  I’m not a very conventional person, so I’m used to people not grooving to me because I’m different.  It’s just a matter of consequence, and it’s nothing to take personally.

But there’s one silly little problem that’s ruining everything, and that’s the possibility lurking somewhere within me that when a social interaction doesn’t go well, it’s because there’s something deeply wrong with me.  That I am a failure.

It’s a voice I wouldn’t want to silence because I credit it for a lot of pivotal improvements in my life, but it’s an impediment to many opportunities.  For example, I have been lucky enough to have a fair amount of ladies find me attractive, despite the fact that I’m short and not conventionally attractive.  But many of these ladies I did not have the confidence to approach, and I think I may have had a much more meaningful romantic history had I behaved differently.  

While enjoying the opportunities that have come to me has been fine, there could be many more opportunities for me if I came to them.  But there’s a silver lining to this, and that’s that it’s possible.  It’s possible for me to just be extroverted.  I know this because I’ve done it before.

Back when I was very young, I had just moved into a new house in Somerset and didn’t have any friends.  I saw kids hanging out in someone’s backyard and thought I could go try to play with them.  But I was scared.  Yet my parents persuaded me, and I eventually walked over, wholly nervous.  They greeted me, and I asked if I could hang with them.  They said of course.

I would go on to become close friends with all of these people.  I would hang out with them for years and through them, develop an interest in making videos.  I would put these videos on YouTube.  I would remain very close friends with two of them, named Dan and Steve Curry, and they would work with me as I grew my own videomaking business.  I would major in film, and hope to use my degree to make movies.

My entire life would change because in one moment, the possibility that I could be a failure was overshadowed by the posssibility that I could be a success.

[v1ctimplagued]

　It’s disorienting, to say the least. In one second, he had been intent on keeping the distance between them. A matter of self-preservation at its finest ‘cause one is supposed to accept their soulmate despite Billy having a firsthand lesson that sometimes it doesn’t work out from his parents. And another moment where he has this horrific realization that he isn’t going to be able to stay away. He had butt in when he had been the one to demand that all of this was nothing. That they were some cruel and gross anomaly conjured up by fate to be an extra bitch to Billy who has done nothing to deserve better.

It’s not even that it’s Steve. (Just a little since there was no denying Billy couldn’t have gotten off on any worse of feet with the other.) It’s solely to do with him being male which hadn’t really been in Billy’s books. He already knew how that would pan out for him. In terms of wrongness, Steve was probably the best pick for that.

He supposes he should start this with baby steps, right? For starters, he probably should be nicer to Steve. Because Billy was Billy that already seemed like such an insurmountable change in character that it was going to require some serious work and conscious effort.

If things were different and Billy wasn’t strained, tired, and overthinkin’ he might have joked about going up to Steve’s bedroom. He’s certain it would be unappreciated but the lighthearted flirty jab would have been such a Billy move. However, things weren’t that kinda mood and they were already on the fence about even trying—what they were trying was still questionable. Billy supposes at the most basic they’re trying to co-exist together. And they’d see wherever the fuck that landed them. He was goin’ to have to do a lot of research about this shit to settle some of his own thoughts, his insistent worries, and the troubling anxiety over it all.

Was Steve scared of the dark? Or perhaps Billy had read it wrong when he was following him. His own thoughts were takin’ up so much space he hadn’t really been paying Steve any mind. Billy was already spiraling seconds in his resolution to be buddy-buddy with his soulmate. Just as before Billy would have normally taken a jab but already knows the tense and uncomfortable apprehension between them makes it wholly inappropriate to take that hit. Steve has no reason to like him and might never come to peaceful terms. Billy is bound to fuck up when he isn’t so aware of himself but for now, he can hold back.

“For fucks sake,” He might be trying but he is still himself. He is pushing past Steve careful to not clip him or throw him off balance ‘cause he wasn’t a fucking nurse. Billy who has more fears than anyone else cannot be bothered at the moment to be a hypocrite and tease Steve about his own. He moves forward into his room and takes in the space that is thoroughly Steve’s. He spies the mess and sighs, realizing this is the cause of all this worry from earlier. Blue eyes cut to Steve’s accusingly as if he had knowingly caused this mess. It was a silly thought ‘cause Steve would have probably gone out of his way to bring Billy to his doorstep. Just a petty afterthought. “I will be right back. Don’t fucking touch it. Gonna grab a broom.”

So much for Billy being ‘nice’. He’s turning and darting back down the same dark hallway and into the Harrington living room. He finds the kitchen fairly easy and the broom then the dustpan. It’d probably be considerably easier to do the cleaning with this than his bare hands. It’s at the bottom of the steps of his return that he pauses slightly.

He could just leave. Pretend none of this happened. A part of Billy really wants to. Aside from Steve——it’s really a Billy thing. He was not a soft or gentle person capable of holding other people with the consideration they often needed. He didn’t fucking think first. He only ever managed to react. His anger was nasty and he had always been a bit selfish. He knew he wasn’t as bad as he portrayed himself but he also knew he was some level of awful. The way he had gone at Steve through everything was a testament to that no matter what he had thought was goin’ on. He still didn’t know.

Steve is his soulmate though. The denial had made a mess of things. Billy is not confident in his ability to unravel the chaos but he could try. A valiant effort, he thought, Steve deserved that and not the bullshit Billy’s parents had become.

He’s coming up the stairs fairly loudly mostly to announce his return and conjuring the tools he had gotten before he’s moving to the broken lamp. Carefully ‘cause he doesn’t want to fuck up his own fingers not casting Steve a glance ‘cause he doesn’t trust his mind and certainly doesn’t want anything betrayed on his face. That Billy is scared - so damn scared he doesn’t know what the hell to do with this shit. What might be the most fair and wise...

ㅤSteve didn't think anyone would really be able to argue that Billy Hargrove would need physical protection from anything normal - not that Steve was inclined to think in terms of 'protection' and 'normal' after what he'd experienced in the past year, and particularly the nightmares he'd had that very night. Billy needing protection emotionally made a lot more sense, particularly if they were emotions that would only add gasoline to the fire he already had burning. It wouldn't be sustainable, but short term? Steve could do it.

ㅤAt least, he thought he could in that moment. It felt like something that he could handle, and until it was proven otherwise or Billy just flat didn't want to, he would do his best. That didn't mean he was going to roll over and let Billy be an asshole to him, or that he would have really understood Billy thinking he was so kind because he had just been thinking about strangling the bastard, but there were guaranteed bumps in this particular road. They'd hopefully manage.

ㅤThe concept of 'romance' was one of those very big bumps, or maybe an absolute crater of a pothole, he wasn't sure. Billy wasn't the only one whose thoughts went in that direction because obviously soulmates meant romance, right? He wasn't about to broach that topic seriously with Billy fucking Hargrove, who he thought hated him before all of this because why would he think otherwise? Hargrove targeted him instantly because Tommy H. and the rest of the popular crowd talked about him incessantly, so Billy went after the guy with the proverbial crown to take his spot. That was it, as far as he knew, because why would he think that Hargrove was attracted to him, therefore desperately trying to get his attention and that his consistent dismissal was driving him nuts?

ㅤExactly.

ㅤThe part about hauling the kids around wasn't off the mark, however, so it was fortunate that Billy didn't voice that. There was a reason for it, and for those kids specifically, but it didn't change the fact that they'd slammed into his life and were changing it for the better. He had plans to see a movie with Dustin Henderson that weekend. How insane was that? He was pretty sure that Lucas and probably Max would also show up, and he wasn't sure if that made it better or weirder.

ㅤNot important, especially given how Billy was running his hands through his hair and looking stressed. Steve was actually coming down from most of his stress, which was making that sense of calm he was clinging to and trying to share a little easier, but he could feel Billy's anxiety and he felt bad about it. He got a little mad when he realized he was feeling bad about Billy being stressed and upset about being tied to him, but then it also hit him that Nancy hadn't wanted him, either. They weren't soulmates, so it made some amount of sense, but it didn't mean it didn't break his heart. Billy had plenty of reason to feel the same way she had, with none of the good memories that he and Nancy made.

ㅤIt made sense, which was where his attempt to give Billy an out came from. He'd ridden in and helped him, wrapped up his foot after pulling the glass out and Hargrove knew he wasn't dying now. Billy was free and clear to go about his evening, and Steve could go clean up his room, then probably stay up half of the night because he didn't feel like sleeping anymore. He wasn't really prepared for Billy to say that his evening plans weren't important, his voice... almost softer than it had been? Quieter, and Steve wouldn't necessarily call Billy Hargrove's voice 'gentle', but he thought this was perhaps what he was hearing. It was gone almost as fast as he'd noticed it, but he knew what he heard.

ㅤOf course, he couldn't say anything about it because the only suitable reaction to Billy's insistence about cleaning up the glass for him was to roll his eyes, given the look in Billy's. It was safer that way, because that bright blue made Steve want to stare at them, and he wasn't sure Billy wouldn't get uncomfortable about it. "You really wanna go up to my bedroom? Sure," he said, pushing himself up and testing his sore foot on the bandages and floor. Tender, painful, but he'd manage.

ㅤ"C'mon," he offered, not sure if Billy was going to balk at having possibly forgotten where Steve said he'd stepped on glass, or push ahead just for the point of it, but he wasn't going to be the one to tell Billy he couldn't do it. It was probably a good thing Steve didn't plan on getting to sleep anytime soon, since he was going to have to spot clean blood from the carpet after his dash down to the door when Billy arrived - a thought process that somehow managed to distract him from part of the problem he'd had. The hall light upstairs had burned out, and when he actually remembered, he faltered, stopping before venturing into the dark.

ㅤWas it actually dark enough to matter? Yes and no. He could navigate the hallway in the house he'd lived in all his life, of course, but it was dark enough that it hit on those memories of the tunnels, and that was what stopped him in his tracks with a cold stab of fear through him that he realized too late to cover up. Fuck. "Sorry, I forgot the light was out," he murmured, like that might cover up the strangeness before he made himself limp along into the dark and towards his open bedroom door.

[prettybillycore]

We Love You Just the Way You Are || Harringrove x Reader

Pairing(s): Harringrove x Reader

Universe: Stranger Things

Summary: Reader comes out as Asexual to their partners, Steve and Billy.

Rating: E for everyone

Word Count: 0.6k

Warnings: Anxiety mention

Read it on AO3 or on this Tumblr Post (below the cut)

While you knew your boyfriends loved you, you were absolutely terrified to come out to them. Of course, you three had many late-night conversations– you would talk about gender, sexuality, and the greater universe for hours on end sometimes. You had mentioned before your confusion about sex and they respected you entirely. You explained to them that you weren’t sure what your sexuality was– just that you were polyamorous and still figuring the rest out. They were both wonderful partners and you knew that you were in love with them, you just didn’t know wholly what that love looked like for you. 

You stumbled upon the word ‘asexual’ when you were talking to Nancy one day over the phone. It wasn’t a word you had thought about in a human context before– you had learned about it in an animal sense in biology during your freshman year. This idea was new and you only had one thing on your mind; that it was the perfect descriptor for you. Nancy had been talking with you about her own asexual identity when you realized that it was your label too. She was incredibly supportive of your findings and it made you feel a lot more comfortable about it. Nancy’s kind words didn’t make you feel any less nervous about telling your partners though. They had always been respectful and supportive of you in every way, but you were worried that they would be upset or disappointed. 

You held on to your identity and thought on it a few more days before you decided you were ready to approach Steve and Billy. The three of you were in Steve’s bedroom, laying together on his bed like you always did. Billy was flopping– half on and half off of the bed’s edge and Steve was crammed into the wall side– you were sandwiched between them. You felt totally safe and comfortable with them, but you couldn’t hide the anxiety you felt about coming out to them. Billy was resting with his head on your chest and Steve was leaning on your shoulder. “Are you alright, Doll? Your heart is beating pretty fast.” Damn Billy for being so observant. 

You were still thinking about what to say when Steve sat up, gently grabbing your wrist, and placing his fingers on your pulse point. “Shit, he’s right, you’re heart is racing. Something wrong?”

You could hear your own heart pounding in your ears. It was so loud you could barely think. “You guys think too much.”

“We only think so much about you because we love you,” Billy said with a smile. 

You felt heat rush to your cheeks. “I’m not sure you will anymore…”

Both boys shared a look. Billy stared up at you intensely and Steve moved so he could hold your hand. “Nothing could make me fall out of love with you, Darlin and Steve’s just as lovesick as I am. Neither of us are going anywhere. What’s got you thinking like that?” Billy questioned. 

You tried to look away from him, but he gently grabbed your chin with his hand. You knew they would give you space and drop it if you asked them to, but you honestly needed to hear their support. “I just… I talked with Nancy the other day about some sexuality stuff and I think I’m asexual like… I don’t experience sexual attraction at all. I am in love with both of you and don’t want our relationship to change, but I understand if it’s a prob–”

“It’s not a problem at all, Doll,” Billy said. He was still holding your chin and he was still staring at the details of your face. It felt like he was looking right through to your soul. “You’re allowed to feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Steve leaned his head on your shoulder once again, briefly kissing your cheek before settling in at your side. “Like Billy said, we aren’t going anywhere. We love you just the way you are.”

[achillieus]

we’re fools (bucky barnes x reader)

summary: for all bucky barnes knows, he hates clichés. and this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one.

(enemies to lovers trope or i watched the society on netflix recently and based this entirely on harry bingham and cassandra pressman)

pairing: college au!bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol, a lot of sexual references, but also a lot of fluff, bucky and reader are in love, also bucky gets cheesy and he hates it

(other parts)  (masterlist)

part 3/3:

Bucky thinks he fell in love on a Tuesday.

“This year, I’m gonna ask Peggy Carter out.” It’s the first day of their third semester and Steve is putting his black baseball cap in his perfect hair, checking his reflection on his phone screen. One of the freshman girls winks at him and he shyly half smiles.

Usually, Bucky would tease him about it, but now he’s attention is wholly on something else. Someone else.

A girl at the other end of the hall, holding a paper juice box, wearing a gaudy denim dress that stops right before her knees.

He’s certain he hasn’t seen her before and judging by the adrift look on her face he deduces she’s in her first year. Is she pretty? He can’t decide. She’s definitely something. And if he stares at her a bit longer than socially acceptable, well let’s say, it’s completely unintended.

“Buck, did you hear what I said?” Steve says at one point and Bucky isn’t sure for how long he has been lost in her figure.

“Yeah sure.” The girl starts walking at their direction -it must be your lucky day, Bucky-, clutching the golden heart jewel around her neck. She’s looking at the doors, she’s looking at the big campus map they have on the wall. She’s looking everywhere but at him and it’s almost offensive considering the amount of time he spent looking at her.

“I’m sorry,” And then she’s there standing a few steps behind Steve. Almost hidden behind his colossal demeanor. “I can’t seem to find the Admission Office.”

A small nervous laugh escapes her lips and Bucky watches the little wrinkles around her eyes, the subtle blush on her cheeks. She doesn’t look pretty. No. She looks consuming.

“Admission office is on the left, doll”. He replies a little too fast. He had to beat Steve. He had to talk to her.

She smiles at him and somehow, along that smile, Bucky thinks he fell in love. With you.

-

(bucky barnes has been in love with you for 563 days)

-

“Did you just kiss me?”

His voice is barely a whisper and his vision is blurry and it’s weird because suddenly he realizes how scared he’s of you. Of the power you have on him. An alarming craving. Every addiction he can’t control combined. Bucky isn’t afraid of many things, not exactly. But he’s afraid that you’ll take his heart and break it, if you want to. And he’s more afraid that he’ll just allow you to. He wonders, for the split of a second, if you have any idea how everything changed when your lips met his. How something inside of him shifted.

“I’m sorry,” You finally answer and he needs a moment to compose himself, “I’m so sorry I just thought-”

“Shut up, I’d died if you hadn’t kissed me.”

“What?”

It’s innocent and terribly oblivious, the way you ask him that and he half smiles, almost touches your palm before his mind stops racing. Ignores the alcohol in his body. Reminds him that he’s Bucky Barnes, that he’s clever and brilliant and a little bit narcissistic and that he doesn’t do love.  Not anymore. And that people adore him for that. And that he needs to uphold it. At least try to.

“I’m not repeating that soppy thing I said,” He drawls and smirks, his teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light of the hall. He has his mask back on. He’s playing his part again. And then he takes a quick step, opens his door and turns around, swift motions and hard grips and suddenly your spine hits the walls of his room. “But you can repeat that sexy thing you did with your tongue.”

Bucky isn’t stupid. He knows he’d perish and wither in a blast if you asked him to, yet he would never admit that. At least not so fast. And specially not to you. He has built his persona so carefully, wore it like an armor, it has become a second skin.

His chapped lips scratch soft against your neck, his hands play with the end of your dress and you observe the way his orbs are colored darker now. He knows what he’s doing. It’s a show he’s practiced. His touch is sharp, like a razor, cuts through your epidermis, comes close to your veins and the muscles of your heart.

And you’re ready to close your eyes, savor every minute of it, offer yourself like an altar and let him wipe the rationality out of you, but the moment his fingers find the wet silk between your legs there’s pain and your throat dries out instantly.

“Bucky, wait.”

“What’s wrong doll?”

“Can we stop?”

There’s the cruel split of a moment where the anxiety inside of you flares up dangerously and you fill like on the edge of a cliff, like falling and it’s horrible. And then you see his body relax, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing.

“Thank God you asked.”

“Barnes,” you hit him with your elbow, “You’re doing wonders for my self esteem right now!”

“You’re an idiot,” he replies with a grimace, “It’s just that I’m drunk and I prefer if I’m not drunk when we have sex. I want to remember the whole thing.”

A strange sensation tingles somewhere between your ribs and your stomach, something so pure and new, and it raises goosebumps all over you. And you smile at him.

And somehow along that smile, Bucky’s mask starts to fall.

/

Bucky Barnes, you learnt within your first month in college, is a year older than you, a proud boy that always asks the right questions and always gives the right answers, with charms and wits of a living god.

Bucky Barnes, you learnt the night you kissed him in the narrow aisle, may have a sharp tongue but he also has the sweetest lips, soft and liqueur like.

Bucky Barnes, you learn some days later, doesn’t want many people to know about you two, and sits three tables away during lunch.

/

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

Your mind is racing with dozens of hurtful possibilities, some more or less, and Bucky looks at you, eyes widen and surprised.

“Why would I be embarrassed of you?”

“I don’t know,” you take the tea cup in your hands, drink and stay silent for a while, observe the way he’s fidgeting with his fingers, “Why else would you avoid me whenever there’s someone else but Sam around?”

It takes some time before he walks closer, sits next to you by his bedframe and touches your hand, your skin freezing under his.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

Your heart almost stops, because Bucky is never scared, and his answer feels strangely heavy and bitter from his lips when he says, “I just don’t want anyone to ruin this.”

He doesn’t smile, doesn’t even smirk like he usually does, just stares at you with narrow eyes and a quick breath.

“Bucky, I hate it to break it to you,” you say, a glint of amusement in your voice, “But I don’t think others care that much about us.”

You cup his face in your hands, guide him backwards, his back hitting the pillow and it’s the first time he has no choice but to comply.

“And even if they do,” you breath in, wet your lips and tease the corner of his mouth with your finger, “It’s not our problem.”

Bucky grabs the back of your neck, shifts even closer to you, his heart not missing a beat. And when you kiss him, he smiles. And somehow along that smile, Bucky becomes more of himself.

/

It goes like this;

People read it in his eyes. How his gaze never leaves you even while you’re writing a test and he needs to concentrate, how he looks mesmerized when you braid your hair while scanning the textbook in front of you. How he could find you even in the middle of the biggest crowd.

People see it in your reactions. How your fingers always wrap around his wrist, almost instinctively, before he leaves, and you kiss him one time on the lips, and then one more on the cheek. How your voice changes as soon as he enters the room. How you’d know he’s here even without looking.

You really have to try to be oblivious to love.

/

(text messages between classes)

(10:26 AM) bucky: hey does taylor swift have to be playing in the background when we have sex

(10:27 AM) you: it’s not even noon bucky what the hell

(10:27 AM) bucky: i went through your spotify and APPARENTLY you have a  “🍆🍆🍆” playlist

(10:27 AM) bucky: and it’s just taylor swift and hozier???

(10:27 AM) bucky: who the hell wants to have sex with a taylor swift song playing

(10:28 AM) you: I’m gonna kill you

(10:28 AM) bucky: nah <3

/

It’s surprisingly easy, dating Bucky Barnes, and by the end of the first month, you feel at home, at ease.  He talks a lot, way more than you expected him to, he shares his favorites, the way he always underlines quotes he likes in the books he’s reading or how he never eats anything that has soy in it. He shows you everything about him, not just who he is, but who he’s ever been. And it’s beautiful.

And you observe how he breathes easier now, smiles more. He doesn’t keep his guard up, doesn’t flinch when nobody’s looking at him.

/

He thinks it’s weird.

He thinks it’s weird, because kissing has always been an act of foreplay to him and he never paid much attention, but now, with you, he could spend his whole life kissing you.

But when you start pulling at the buttons of his black expensive shirt, well, it’s not like he’s complaining. He presses his body against yours, his hands almost shaking, his fingers burying in your hair, slowly tugging.

“Bucky,” You breath in his neck, “I may be bad at this.”

“What?” He whispers as he leaves wet trails all the way to your chest.

“I haven’t done this before, so I may be bad at it.”

He stares right at your lips, notices your sweet cherry scent mixing with the sharp notes of his aftershave, touches the spot under your eyes and smiles.

“Guess we’ll have to do it over and over again then.” He’s half laughing, half kissing your shoulder and you can feel your cheeks flush and your entire being tighten.

And then his cold fingertips draw circles on your inner thighs and you close your eyes, and Bucky forgets how to breath.

/

“I probably sound like a fool but, I’m in love with you.”

You didn’t plan on saying it that early, but he’s here, warm and glistening and in your arms and you can’t go another minute without hearing the words out loud.

“And I probably sound competitive but, I’ve been in love with you since God knows when.”

/

(AH IT’S FINISHED BUT YAY THEY’RE IN LOVE)

tagging: @tonystankschild @osterfieldshollandgirl​ @roguesthetic @buckyjms​ @ohladymacbeth​

[certifiedskywalker]

Breathing Room - Bucky Barnes

Thanks to Sharon’s new profession, you have a chance to catch your breath in Madripoor. Though, Bucky never fails at stealing it away.

WARNINGS: drinking (?) and tensiooooonnn

“I’ve never seen him look at anyone like how he looks at you. Except for Steve.”

“It’s not like that,” you persisted as you shook your head.

Ready to prove your counterpoint, you traced the path of Sharon’s pointed gaze. It landed on Bucky who, amidst the party of stiff art connoisseurs and writhing criminals, looked strangely at ease. When you let your gaze linger, you saw him shift against the far wall he was leaned on. His eyes found yours in an instant as if he had been glancing in your direction before. As if he already knew where you were stood.

Under the colored lights that seemed to flash in tune with the music, Bucky’s eyes, once bright and blue, were dark as he focused on you. Despite the heat of all those that danced, you found yourself frozen. A chill rolled up your spine and threatened to overtake you, thrust you in the depths of Bucky’s stare. Only the sound of a knowing, humming sigh freed you.

“Uh-huh, sure. It’s not like that,” Sharon echoed sarcastically. You glared at her as she moved out from behind the bar. She passed a glass of dark liquor over to you with a grin. Gently, you nudged the drink back across the counter and shook your head.

“I’m on a mission.”

“So is he,” Sharon quipped as she tipped her head towards Bucky. Steaming embarrassment rose along your skin as you glanced back over towards the super-soldier. He was no longer fixed on you. He instead squinted at Zemo as the Baron broke it down in the most awkward, display of dance you had ever seen.

“Yeah, and I’m not it.”

“You are, you just won’t admit it,” Sharon sipped at her drink before she continued. “The way he watches you...he’s ready to take a bullet for you.”

“He already has,” you sighed, gesturing to your left arm. “Vibranium, remember? He’s covered me more than once.”

“Couldn’t forget it.”

“Also, he stares at everyone.”

Sharon scoffed, a light laugh slipping from her lips. “Sure, but not like that.”

“Do you really think...he’s hard to read. I don’t know if he really means to…”

“You’re right, he might not mean to look at you like you’re his lifeline, but it doesn’t change the fact that he does.” Sharon downed the rest of her drink and rested the empty glass on the counter. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m on a mission too: to sell some art and information.”

With a wink, she sauntered away, towards a group of individuals clad in formal wear. You watched her go for a moment longer before you shifted your gaze to sneak a glance at Bucky. When you did, you found he was already looking at you, dark eyes fixed on your face. It was tough to tell in the red tones that shone down on him, but you thought you saw Bucky’s mouth quirk the slightest bit upward. Though, you did not stare long enough to see if it morphed into a full-fledged smile.

You were too aware of how your chest tightened to let yourself linger on him. Especially with Sharon’s teasing, her insights, you could not find it in yourself to stare back. Not then, not when there was a chance Bucky felt the same as you had for years, which meant both of you were too stubborn, or too wary, to say anything about it. Even the thought of it knocked the air from your lungs. You eyed the liquor Sharon had poured out for you, considered downing it to distract yourself from the new wave of nerves that washed over you. Before you stretched your fingers out towards the glass, a sudden warmth brushed against your left shoulder.

“You gonna drink that?”

You turned and saw Bucky, his side nearly pressed against yours. The scent of the cologne Sharon had forcibly sprayed on him before the party filled your nose. Fragrant balsam and clove: warm, welcoming, and enough to numb your racing thoughts. When you didn’t respond to his question, Bucky leaned in closer to you with furrowed brows.

“Y/N?” Up close, you noticed just how clear his eyes were, how wholly focused on you he was. Silently you hoped he didn’t detect the shuddering breath you took.

“Yeah,” you said as tipped your head towards the drink, “it’s all yours.”

Bucky nodded at you as he reached for the glass. As he moved, his gaze remained fixed on you and you could not tear your eyes away. The moment the lights flashed an almost natural white, you swore you saw hints of pink on Bucky’s cheeks; but before you could truly tell, the fixtures flickered between blue and red. As Bucky brought the glass to his lips, you forced your eyes to the granite countertop.

To busy your mind, distract yourself from the lure of Bucky’s presence, you traced your fingertips along some of the natural patterns on the stone’s smoothed surface. It was only when you heard the clinking of glass against the countertop over the music that you felt enough courage to face the man stood at your side. Bucky’s eyes were still trained on you when you looked back up at him, full of that same attention Sharon had noted earlier.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink before,” you remarked, “or relaxed.”

“I’m not relaxed,” Bucky said, shouting slightly to be heard over the music. You smiled as he leaned in closer to add, “I don’t think I’ve ever been. Not since….”

“The forties?”

Bucky averted his eyes from you at your teasing question and turned his gaze to the floor. “Well, yeah, honestly.”

The smallness of his voice made your heart ache. Without a moment’s thought, you reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. At your touch, Bucky met your eyes again, and then you saw it. It must have been the glint that Sharon picked up on before. A ferocity, but not one that frightened you. It was a ferocity born of passion, the same, deeply rooted feeling that forced the air from your lungs when you let yourself stare at Bucky for too long.

The passion that you had kept bottled in your chest since you met him, the real Bucky, not the Winter Soldier. It had taken so long for you to truly see him and he was just finally seeing himself. Until the party and Sharon’s observations, you hadn’t realized that maybe he was seeing you too. How long had you been blind to each other, giving each other breathing room when all you wanted was to be close?

“Honestly, I think you look good,” you said, with a confidence that surprised you.

Bucky cocked his head to the side slightly, with the faintest hints of a smile on his lips. “Really? I don’t...it’s been...I haven’t been to a party since the forties. I haven’t danced…”

“You look great, Bucky,” you pressed as you let your hand fall from his shoulder. Bucky blinked at you a few times as if trying to compute your compliments. You gave him a soft smile, an expression that he, shockingly, returned.

“So do you, Y/N.”

The way he said your name sent another chilling shiver down your spine and tightened your chest. Your breath grew ragged and you became suddenly self-conscious about the volume of your breathing. Though, when you noticed how Bucky’s chest rose and fell a bit more rapidly than before, your worries faded. They melted into the music and the smell of his, Sharon’s, cologne until all you felt was warmth and light.

“Do you want to danc-”

Before Bucky could ask his question in full, a drunken party-goer knocked into your back and sent you leaning off your stool. As you tipped forward into him, Bucky opened his arms to catch you. The cool metal of his left arm dug into your waist as your hands braced against his chest. Once you found your footing, you glanced up at Bucky.

“Are you alright?” His eyes scanned over your face as he asked. Yet, all you really heard was Sharon’s voice: he’s ready to take a bullet for you. Ready to fight for you too.

“I’m fine.”

Despite your assertion, Bucky looked past you and towards the person that had nearly knocked you over. For a moment, you saw the man that Zemo had ordered around in the Power Broker’s bar. He wasn’t your Bucky. The passion had turned to anger in his eyes. Quickly, you trailed your hands up from his chest to cup the sides of his face.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” you forced Bucky’s face to turn until his eyes found yours. “I’m fine. Are you fine?”

Bucky didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared down at you, his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips and back again. Gently, you rubbed the pads of your thumbs along the peaks of his cheekbones. At the contact, eyes glinted and you knew he was the Bucky you loved again. The scruff that lined his jaw and grew up the sides of his face prickled and tickled the skin of your palm as he drew in closer.

Suddenly, there was no more breathing room; but you were so wonderfully okay with that. Each breath you each took mingled between you until there was no space at all. Bucky’s lips brushed softly against yours, a tentative ask for permission before you closed the gap. He tasted like whiskey as you kissed and, when his arms tightened around your waist, you felt that you might drown in him.

You were prepared to do just that when you heard someone loudly clear their throat. With a small gasp for air, you and Bucky parted and turned your attention away from the other. Sam, clad in Sharon’s spare turtle neck, stood with his arms crossed over his chest and a knowing grin on his lips. Your hands slipped from Bucky’s face and the super soldier’s arms went a little more slack around your waist.

“So, if you two are done, Sharon found Nagel.”

“Y-yeah,” you stammered, “we’ll...follow you.”

Sam glanced at you then Bucky and back again. “You really gotta work on your timing. We’re on a mission, guys. Seriously.”

Before you or Bucky could comment, Sam started off towards Zemo and Sharon. You glanced up at Bucky who seemingly sensed your eyes and looked back at you.

“He’s not wrong.”

“Don’t tell him that.”