#I don’t talk! I’m constantly anxious when people address me or ask me questions I wasn’t expecting because I just know it’s not gonna come | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stayndays · 4 years ago

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𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐬! - 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧

part of my anime!skz series, this story is based off of “Toradora!” and will include spoilers on the plot of the show.

genres & tropes: fluff, minor angst (mostly at the end), high school au, love triangle/square, enemies & neighbors to lovers au, tsundere!jeongin (i guess?), gender neutral reader, reader is misunderstood as a cold person

disclaimers: drowning (but no death), mentions of rumor spreading & outcasting, mentions of anxious feelings/actual anxiety, one or two swear words, i have not proofread this so if the last few episodes seem really wonky that’s why

word count: 11k... we don’t comment on that

summary: “Y/L/N Y/N. Yang Jeongin. Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo. Kim Seungmin. You like Seungmin, Jeongin likes Chuu. You’re best friends with Chuu, Jeongin’s best friends with Seungmin. You don’t like Jeongin, but you know about each other’s crush. It’s time to play a game of Cupid, while being struck with Cupid’s arrow yourself.”

a/n: happy valentines day and belated jeongin day! this is the first story i’ve decided to tackle for my anime!skz series as well, so i get to hit three birds with one stone with this fic. also, i decided to take out a couple elements in the original anime (such as the addition of a character that’s like ami, taiga’s family issues, and some events) just so it’s simpler and totally not because i’m on a time crunch. i hope you enjoy reading this! <3

taglist: @skzwriternet @dayawantstosleep @desertofdessert @mr-jisung @dreamylunarnight (sorry if i forgot you i’m running on 0.2 braincells)

anime!skz masterlist is here!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Episode 1: Collision Course

“Psst, look over there!”

“Huh? What?”

“The fennec fox is about to face off against the dark delinquent!”

You turn to face the two students after overhearing the words “dark delinquent”, making the duo back away in fear. Cursing your parents who gave you these intimidating genes, you heave out a breath out of annoyance, and continue walking down the hallway.

Alas, maybe your appearance is the reason why people never approach you unless it’s absolutely necessary. You still manage to give off this dark atmosphere despite how much you try to change your appearance.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” your best friend, Chuu, attempts to reassure you. “It’s only the first day of school! You still have an entire school year to prove them wrong.”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t envy your best friend, who basically embodies the definition of the sun. Always smiling and having a positive attitude regarding the situation, you just so happened to be the exact opposite of her. Boys are constantly crushing on her, she’s one of the most popular girls of your year, but she just so happens to be buddies with you.

“Oh, watch out Y/N!” Distracted by your thoughts, you process Chuu’s warning just a second too late, and collide with a particularly tall boy, somehow smacking your face right into the torso part of his male school uniform. The force manages to knock the both off you to the ground, sending your papers flying all over the place.

Oh, that’s right. That’s what the two girls were talking about. You’ve heard rumors of who this “fennec fox” person is, and how he has a really bad temper when you push his gears. But this guy you just bumped into? A fennec fox?

You guess you can see some resemblance of a fox in his facial structure, but his figure literally towered over you, making you feel like an ant standing next to a tree. The small crowd of passing students trying their absolute least to hold in their giggles make you feel even smaller, your neck growing hot because of how embarrassed you are.

“Watch where you’re going next time!” the boy scolds you, brushing off the paper that landed on top of his head. His voice makes you flinch slightly, and it’s only in that moment that you realize the rumors, so far at least, were true.

“Er, sorry,” you quietly mumble out, scratching the side of your face. He definitely looks pissed, you thought, smoke practically fuming out of the guy’s ears. “Here, I’ll help you gather your stuff.”

“I’ll help you guys out, too!” you hear a familiar voice, and meet the eyes belonging to a face you know all too well.

Kim Seungmin: your secret crush that nobody truly knows about (you’ve tried approaching the topic to Chuu multiple times, only to be interrupted by her other friends). He’s the vice president of your school, a role he’s gained through the student body president herself. The definition of hardworking and kind at the same time, who would you be not to fall for a guy like him?

Your breath gets caught up in your throat as you try to answer him. “Oh- Uh- Thank you, Seungmin.”

“Of course! Wouldn’t hurt to help out my best friend, too,” Seungmin replies.

Best friend?

“Thanks..” the boy simply mumbles in response, and you almost did a double take on what you just heard. Seungmin and this guy... best friends? Before you can dwell on it long enough, however, you’re already being pulled to your feet by Chuu, and your papers are back in your hands.

“Let’s go, Y/N!” Chuu beams with enthusiasm, and you could only afford a small smile in return. “Say, which class are you two in this year?”

“2-A,” the boy answers in a composed manner, the anger he released on you must’ve vanished by now, and you could almost see the pink dust coating his face. “What about you, Chuu?”

You can’t even process the way the guy completely skipped over you to only ask Chuu personally before you blurt out,

“We’re in the same class?!”

Episode 2: A Bold Strategy

Bad news: your love letter is gone.

That bastard fox dude, Jeongin, you learned his name was, must’ve taken it when you bumped into him in the morning. Not that you blame him entirely, because how could you remember to grab your letter in the ocean of textbooks and notebook paper?

Good news: you have his own love letter.

Why good news? Well, that just means he’s in the exact same boat as you, and now you can call yourself even with him. An exchange of love letters, it almost makes your heart calm down for a split second.

Until you read who the letter was addressed to.

There’s no way in hell this guy could get with your best friend. Jeongin, based off of first impressions, is a literal firecracker (who, for some reason, shouts at people he just met), while Chuu is a ball of sunshine. You don’t blame him, though, as almost every male classmate you’ve had has taken some sort of interest in her at some point, and you guess he’s no exception.

Then again, you’re in the same situation as him, crushing on somebody way out of your league.

While Seungmin is a star student, always willing to help people out and socialize, you’re a total outcast who can barely get average grades in school. Seungmin just so happened to be one of two (the other being Chuu) who’s approached you willingly, and that’s why you fell for him. That charming smile of his, and his caring nature. It was all too much for you.

As you thought about it more, flipping Jeongin’s love letter to Chuu between the flesh of your fingers, it’s not a terrible idea to help out Jeongin. He may currently have a 0% chance of getting with Chuu, but if you succeed and play a bit of matchmaking, he could return the favor to you.

You like his best friend, he likes your best friend...

You gently rip open the envelope encasing Jeongin’s letter, and start reading.

Episode 3: The Cupid Game Begins

“Uh, Jeongin-” you tap the boy’s shoulder once, which was conveniently right in front of your desk. He continues to talk to the people around him, which makes you tap his shoulder harder.

Jeongin whips his head around to meet your calm eyes, only turning slightly frightened when you flinch at his sudden movement. “Wha- Ah! What do you want?” He says in an aggravated tone.

“Sorry,” you apologize quickly for making him jump, not wanting to cause another scene like yesterday. “I just need to talk to you about something for a few minutes.”

Jeongin lets out a groan, fixing his position so he can look behind him more comfortably. “What exactly do you want to talk about?”

“Something I’m sure you don’t want your friends to hear,” you respond casually, picking at the skin on your fingers. The boy’s eyes visibly perk up at your reasoning, and finally nods. “Thanks,” you say to him and stand up, pushing in your seat.

“Careful Jeongin!”

“Fight back if they hit you!”

You let out a deep sigh at the comments directed towards you, not even bothering to shoot them a glance in response. It’ll only make the rumors worse, you think as you walk out of the classroom, Jeongin trailing behind your footsteps after closing the door.

The hallway was silent once you stepped out of your class, no longer hearing the chattering of your fellow classmates about the latest gossip and homework. You could only hear your very own footsteps, along with Jeongin’s feet, which were behind you. Once the two of you made your way to the vending machines near the school stairs, you take out the coin you were holding in your hand and insert it into one of the machines.

“Which drink do you want?” you ask the boy without turning to face him, fishing out another coin in your mini wallet.

“The melon one-” Jeongin does a double take, not believing what he heard as he watches you insert another coin into the vending machine. “Wait, why are you buying a drink for me?” He questions your antics, slowly sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

You stick your hand into the machine to grab Jeongin’s drink, making eye contact with him as you hand it over. “Why not? Is there a reason I should be buying you a drink?”

“Well, I mean,” Jeongin scratches the back of his neck in confusion. “Aren’t you supposed to be... a delinquent?”

You chuckle at his explanation, “Does that mean you’re a fox? Our nicknames in this school are only based off of our appearances, isn’t that funny?” Joining him on the floor, you crack open your own drink. “So no, I’m not a delinquent, and I’ll never be one.”

“That’s not what I’m here to talk about anyways,” you don’t bother to check Jeongin’s facial expressions as you continue, starting to take out his envelope before you’re stopped by him.

“Wait! I have something to give you too,” Jeongin stops your movement, slipping out something from his pocket as well.

“Is this yours?”

You both say at the same time, revealing each other’s envelopes. There’s yours, with a tacky, red heart sticker stamped onto the envelope to seal it. Then there’s Jeongin’s, with only the word “To: Chuu” on the back.

Jeongin quickly snatches his letter from your hand, and quickly throws your own onto your lap. “Uh, thanks for returning it. You didn’t- Give it to Chuu for her to read... right?”

“Of course not.”

“And you didn’t read what’s inside?”

“..You got me there, I’ll admit it,” you chuckle slightly, raising your hands in defeat as your face starts to grow hot. Jeongin hums a bit, surprisingly not even a tad bit angry at your confession.

“Well,” Jeongin leans back against the wall. “I guess we’re even then.”

“What?!” you exclaim in surprise. “I mean- Yeah, cool. Actually, this works out perfectly.”

“Why?”

“I have a proposal for you,” you start. “We both like each other’s best friend, right? So we could be each other’s wingman and try to get with our crush. It’ll just take a bit of cooperation, though.”

Jeongin scoffs, “You made me look like a fool on the first day of school, why should I?”

“Well, besides being the apparent ‘delinquent’ of this school, I’d say I’m quite good at matchmaking thanks to Chuu, a cupid, you could almost say,” you cross your arms in defense. “Then again, since I’ve already read your sappy love letter to Chuu, I could always tell her that-”

“Fine!” Jeongin finally gives in. “I’m in, I’m in. I have absolutely no idea how I could get somebody like Seungmin to like somebody like you, but if you’re able to get me and Chuu into a relationship, I’ll try my best to play cupid. Okay?”

“I’m just going to ignore that comment about me and take it,” you shrug, standing up after checking the clock on the wall. “I’ll give you my address on a piece of paper later, so we could meet up and start planning.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jeongin follows your actions, standing up and tossing his drink into the trash can.

“Remind me to pay you back for the drink, by the way.”

Episode 4: His Angelic Neighbor

“How ironic.”

“How ironic, indeed,” Jeongin agrees with you, the two of you standing at the entrance of Eda Apartments Complex, your backpacks on your back.

The studio apartment complex the both of you just so happen to live in, that is.

Part of you is relieved that you live near Jeongin, so maybe you could get to know him better (not as a friend, of course, but to see if Chuu would actually like him), and of course to work out your cupid plans together. However, the other part of you is confused as to why you’ve never even seen him around your apartment until now.

These thoughts run through your head as Jeongin leads you to his apartment, walking up a lengthy three flights of stairs, as opposed to your usual two.

When he’s about to open the door to his place, Jeongin turns around to face you, key in hand. “Whatever you do, don’t comment about my place.”

“Okay...?” you comply with an incredibly confused tone, but it seems to be enough for Jeongin, as he swings the door open.

Soda cans upon soda cans are messily piled up near a trash can, which was overflowing with paper plates and tissues. His bed, which is in the corner of the room (which, to be fair, it’s a studio apartment, and you have the same bed layout as him), wasn’t even made, and what you could assume to be a dining table had leftover Chinese takeout boxes on it.

When you peered into the sink after reluctantly placing your belongings near the door, it’s almost clogged up with muck and filth, making a shiver run down your spine. Not to mention, when you asked Jeongin if you could have a drink from the fridge, all your eyes could see were frozen meals & rows of soda and juice. How long has Jeongin been living this way?

“Uhm, hate to mention this to you,” you close the fridge gently after grabbing a can of soda. “but your place is really-”

“What did I say to you before I opened the door?” Jeongin fires back before you could finish.

You stay silent.

“Exactly. Now can we please start talking about our ‘Cupid Plans’ as you like to refer to it?” Jeongin raises an eyebrow at you, taking out the items in his backpack.

“It’s a cute name, okay?” you respond, making your way to the table as Jeongin pushes the takeout boxes to the side. “And we’ll be studying too, we have a quiz tomorrow, remember?”

“I’ll rather do the studying later,” Jeongin. “So what does Chuu like?”

“Hmm...” it takes you a moment to think about what your best friend likes when it comes to love, which is a bit strange, because you’d think you’d know what Chuu likes after watching people confess to her after all these years. “I think she’d prefer something planned? Even extravagant, if you really push it. She likes plushies and small gifts.”

“What about Seungmin?” you ask Jeongin.

It also takes Jeongin a second to come up with an answer. “He’s always been into nerdy, yet bubbly people, I guess? Since you’re so antisocial, though, he probably won’t like somebody like you right now.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“I’m only trying to help!”

The conversation shifts slightly, and to your surprise, flows well despite your polar opposite personality. You and Jeongin discuss possible ideas as to how both of you could help each other out while studying for your upcoming quiz.

“And for equation 17, would it be-” you lift your head up from your math textbook, only to see Jeongin using his arm as a pillow and sleeping on his own book. You blink a couple times in disbelief, but remember that you’ve been over at his house for a little over three hours at this point. Shrugging, you gently close your textbook and decide to call it a day at Jeongin’s place.

But then you go back to your senses and remember how filthy of an apartment you’ve been at this entire time. The more you look at your surroundings, the more you desire to clean up the place.

A neat freak, that’s what everybody calls you. It’s what your mom taught you all throughout your childhood, and it’s a trait you’ve kept until now.

Your mind goes into autopilot mode as you start moving around his place left and right. Somehow, you were able to find a box of plastic gloves stored in the back of the sink cabinet, so you put a pair on and start cleaning. Tying up garbage bags and cleaning out the sink, you also make the effort to place the leftover Chinese food into the fridge after checking if it’s spoiled or not. Most people would stare at you in confusion, but you shake your head at the thought, only hoping that Jeongin would at least appreciate your efforts.

By the end of your cleaning session, you could now call the studio apartment an apartment, and not some kind of swamp. Pleased at your work, you take out one of your notebooks and rip out a piece of paper, grabbing a pencil along the way. You write a quick note for Jeongin to read when he wakes up:

“Cleaned up your place while you were asleep, I could also cook for you and teach you how to cook? (Chuu likes food) text me: xxx-xxx-xxxx”

Swinging your backpack onto your pack, you leave his apartment and make your way to your own.

Later that night, your phone dings with a message from an unknown number.

[Unknown: i’m so tired of frozen meals and takeout, please cook for me (and teach me how)]

Episode 5: However

“Here’s your lunch, Yang,” you pass your spare lunchbox to the seat in front of you, which Jeongin takes gratefully. Chuu, who was making her way over to the seat next to you, catches sight of your interaction with Jeongin.

“Y/N’s food is good, isn’t it Jeongin?” Chuu strikes up a conversation right away, leaving Jeongin flustered, and most likely burning hot.

“Y-Yeah, it is.”

“Say, you two have been talking a lot lately,” Chuu starts talking as you tilt your head up to take a sip of your drink. “Have you two been, or should I say, has Y/N finally gotten a-”

You choke on your drink, almost spitting it all over Jeongin’s back before catching yourself. Jeongin has almost the same reaction as you, only choking on the food you prepared for him instead. It had only been two weeks of school; two weeks of talking to Jeongin solely about each other’s crush, and yet Chuu believes that you two have something going on.

“Absolutely not, Chuu.”

“Yeah, no way.”

You exchange a glare with Jeongin, almost in a panicked manner. If Chuu believes that you two are dating, that would practically be the end of your chances to be with Seungmin, same going for Jeongin with Chuu.

“Alrighty then, I trust you two,” Chuu leans back in the chair she’s sitting on, before promptly getting up and making her way to the door of the classroom. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.”

As soon as she closes the door, Jeongin immediately leans over to your desk, ignoring his bento box. “We have to do something about what Chuu said.”

“Duh, there’s no way we could let her think that about us,” you agree with him. “What are some solutions? We could try to be more distant with each other, which honestly I don’t think either of us would mind too much. I could simply tell Chuu that we aren’t even close friends, or-”

“You need to confess to Seungmin,” Jeongin bluntly tells you, catching you off guard.

“What- why would I do that?!” you almost yell at the boy in front of his face. His plan is all kinds of crazy, you would’ve never thought of it yourself.

“You’ve known Seungmin longer than I’ve known Chuu, so you have a lower risk of being rejected. And if you actually end up dating Seungmin, then Chuu would know that us two aren’t a couple,” Jeongin crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s a win-win situation.”

You scoff, “And if I get rejected?”

“I’ll like- I don’t know, buy you ice cream?” Jeongin attempts to persuade you, to which you sigh as a response.

“I guess I’ll trust you on this.”

The day passes by without a hitch, to your utter shock, as the churning in your stomach says otherwise. The thought of impulsively confessing to your long time crush makes you feel lightheaded and dizzy, as it was something you’ve never done before. However, your stubbornness is refusing you to back down from Jeongin’s wild plan, so here you are, face to face with Seungmin at the roof of the school.

“Erm- So-”

“The weather is pretty nice today, isn’t it Y/N?” Seungmin casually breaks the ice wall between you two.

The sudden question catches you off guard. “Ah, yes.. yes it is...” Already, you could feel the heat rising up your body, even when the weather today was particularly cloudy. “Uhm, I brought you here to tell you something, Seungmin.”

“Oh, what is it?” Seungmin seems surprised at your statement, but the voice in your head tells you otherwise. He’s smart enough to look through people, you know that already, so why are you trying to hide your feelings when you’re already this far?

It’s time to take a leap of faith, you think, as you take in a large breath before telling him everything. “Uh, you see.. I’ve always appreciated you ever since you approached me that one day. Nobody’s ever done that for me except for you and Chuu, and because of that I think you’re a.. great person... What- What I’m trying to say here is-”

“I like you, Seungmin.”

You tilt your head downwards, almost in shame as you play with your fingers anxiously. Letting out a shaky exhale, you can’t believe that you just confessed all of those things to your own crush. Your heart beating a thousand miles a second, it felt like you were about to explode from either embarrassment or anticipation; quite possibly even both at the same time.

“You, know, Y/N..” Seungmin starts to chuckle, grabbing onto his left wrist with his right hand.

“I used to like you.”

That made you look back up at him in shock, blinking a couple times out of disbelief. “Really?!”

Seungmin simply hums, confirming what he just stated. “That’s why I approached you in the first place. There was something about you that drew me into talking to you. And of course, you didn’t disappoint me,” he flashes you a comforting smile, but it soon goes away at his next word.

“However...”

Seungmin leaves you hanging after that one word: however. His mouth opens and closes, most likely trying to come up with the right words to say. You wobble your feet back and forth, becoming more and more impatient.

But then, he says something. A simple, ten word sentence. Not a compound nor a complex sentence. Easy for a little kid to understand.

“I hope we can be good friends in the future.”

And yet it cracks your heart.

In a blink of an eye, Seungmin has disappeared from your view. An unexpected wind blows through your body, almost feeling like a comforting pat on the back after being rejected; friend-zoned.

You make your way to the front of the school, dragging your feet in a lazy manner. Jeongin’s head perks up when he nears footsteps, only to gaze down at your slumped figure. Letting out a deep exhale, you give Jeongin a glare that could cut him in half; one of disappointment and exhaustion.

“You owe me ice cream.”

The ice cream place is about two blocks away from your apartment complex, decorated in obnoxious pastel colors that make your eyes squint. Jeongin is relatively quiet throughout your walk there, only offering to carry your backpack if it’s too heavy for you, to which you declined quietly. You can feel the burn of his eyes on top of your head, anticipating for you to let out a scream in anger, but you’re simply not that kind of person.

You remain deep in thought even when you sit down, grabbing a menu to cover your face. Jeongin’s eyes remain on your figure, and you wonder if he’s actually, genuinely, worried for you.

“Er, what do you want to order?” Jeongin asks you in an attempt to break the tension. “I’ll pay, since you seem a bit heartbroken right now-”

“Hi, welcome 901 Freeze Treats Parlor-” you look up from the menu at the sound of a familiar, cheery voice.

You forgot Chuu works here.

And you forgot to tell Jeongin that information.

“Oh, Y/N! And Jeongin, hi guys,” Chuu flashes a grin at the both of you, and you can’t help but smile and almost giggle at how Jeongin grows beetroot red. She’s sporting a pair of pigtails in her hair, and the striped uniform topped with a cute hat on top. “What can I get you guys?” “I’ll- I’ll get the banana split Chuu!” Jeongin exclaims a bit too loud, attracting the rest of the customers at the parlor. Chuu, although a bit confused, seems to enjoy Jeongin’s enthusiasm for ice cream and writes down the order.

You set down the menu and point to what you want with a hum, to which Chuu bends forward slightly in order to see what you want. “You always order that, Y/N! Don’t you want to try something else?”

“I’m good, Chuu, thanks,” you give her a gentle smile, praying that she won’t comment about how tired and defeated you look. Fortunately for you, she leaves you alone, and you’re left back with just Jeongin.

“How have my letters been doing?” Jeongin blurts out before he could stop himself, covering his mouth with one of his hands soon after. “I- I mean, I shouldn’t.. really ask when you’re sad.. but I mean I might as well ask you since we just talked to her, right? Sorry-”

“They’re doing good, she likes them a lot,” you reply softly to the frantic boy, and he lets out a sigh of relief at your answer. You’ve spent the past few weeks helping Jeongin write love letters to Chuu, even decorating them with cute stickers. For once, your writing skills can come into play, and you haven’t let Jeongin down yet. “And it’s okay, my head is just in the clouds. At least he let me down gently.”

“What exactly did he say?” Jeongin eggs you on, wanting you to elaborate further.

“Something along the lines of us being good friends in the future,” you explain to him. “He even said that he used to like me, but I don’t know-”

“Then you still have a chance, right?” Jeongin doesn’t wait for you to finish your sentence before jumping in. “He left the door wide open for you to walk into, or- something like that at least. And, now thinking about it, I actually do think he used to like you.”

You roll your eyes, “You’re only saying that to make me feel better about this.”

“No, really! He mentioned that he liked somebody quiet and mysterious, and that he was gravitated towards that person. He told me that he would approach that person someday. It must’ve been you! I’ve known Seungmin for years, and this is one of two times he’s told me about his crushes,” Jeongin carries on with his own explanation. “So, in conclusion, I still believe it’s possible to win over his heart.”

Your lips press into a thin line, “You sure? Like, you’re absolutely positive about this?”

Jeongin nods, and for the first time since you’ve met him, he sends you a genuinely positive smile. It’s not like the annoyed snarks or the cheeky smirks he gives you all the time, but rather, something you could find comfort in. Just like Seungmin’s smile.

“Okay then, I’ll trust you.”

Episode 6: Swimming Lessons

“Did you guys hear that the school’s swimming pool is opening next week?” A masculine voice you know all too well, yet you wish you didn’t at the same time, is heard from behind your back. Seungmin locks eyes with you as he tosses an arm around Jeongin’s shoulder while you continue walking down the hallway.

It’s all too weird in your opinion that Seungmin is actually even friendlier after rejecting you. Because, shouldn’t the two of you be distant for at least a week or two? You guess that’s just not how Seungmin operates, then, as he dove right back into talking with you after that dreadful day on the school rooftop.

“Yeah, Seung!” Jeongin answers with a joyful tone, giving you the chance to break your eye contact with Seungmin. You, on the other hand, were not a swimmer whatsoever.

Being submerged into a body of water to the point where your toes can’t reach the ground has never been ideal for you. Any kind of physical action required to even survive in the water is off putting in your option, so you’ve always stuck to dipping your feet into the water and nothing else.

But you guess that changes starting today.

“You know Seungmin,” Jeongin starts to say, “Y/N is actually a pretty good swimmer! I think they could even beat you in a swimming race.”

Your head jumps up in surprise, eyes widening when Jeongin turns to you. He mumbles the words “trust me” before going back to Seungmin. How many times will you have to trust Jeongin and his crazy schemes?

“Oh, really?”

Jeongin hums in confirmation, ignoring the side nudges coming from you.

“Then we should race once the pool opens, Y/N!” Seungmin suggests with visible excitement beaming from his face.

Your gut immediately tells you to deny, but then you have to consider Jeongin’s “trust me.” He seems fairly confident that everything would work out, so is the risk worth the possible reward?

“Oh- Uhm... Sure! Sure, let’s.. let’s race, yeah,” you manage to let out before you could change your mind. “Just give me time to prepare, I, uh, haven’t swam in a while.”

“Of course!” Seungmin grins. “Let’s do it in two weeks, okay?

All you could respond with is a nod, which Seungmin takes without anymore questions. He bids the both of you well, and makes a left to the student council room.

You feel like a puddle of mush, waiting to collapse onto the tile floor of the school hallway. “I. Hate. You,” you scowl harshly at Jeongin.

“What?” Jeongin is caught off guard at your sudden hostility. “You never mentioned that you were afraid of the pool, and I don’t think it’s that bad of an idea. This is your chance to impress Seungmin!”

You scratch your head in confusion and denial. “Isn’t this a bit much, though? And who’s going to teach me how to swim?”

“You could always get me back with any ridiculous idea on how to get Chuu to like me,” Jeongin suggests to you. “And I’ll teach you, I’m a decent swimmer.”

“Sure, sure. Thanks for the idea, by the way,” you comment with a smirk, watching as Jeongin’s expression turns into one of regret.

“Now, teach me how to swim.”

An entire two weeks pass, and with those two weeks, comes the opening of the school pool. Although the vast majority of your classmates are genuinely excited to get a chance to cool down in the recent, scorching weather, you’re visibly less enthusiastic about it. You still try to keep a smile on your face with Seungmin is around though, so he doesn’t see through the lie Jeongin spontaneously made up.

“Y/N!” Chuu approaches you after exiting the changing room near the pool; you’ve already changed prior to her. “Your race with Seungmin is today, right? I see you’re all decked out in floaties.”

“Yeah, I’m just, uh- using them for safety purposes.” you give her a short and sweet response due to the churning in your stomach after being reminded of the event happening today. It’s a shame that your entire class knows what’s going down in just a few minutes, because they’re all anticipating your match with Seungmin. “The Delinquent vs The Student Pet” is what they’ve dubbed the match.

Also, Seungmin was generous enough to add onto the rules that floats were allowed to be used. So now you have floats all around your figure: some attached onto you, some you have to hold.

“Hey Y/N-” Jeongin stops walking towards you after noticing Chuu, her hair in a braid and only wearing a casual swimsuit. “Oh- Hi Chuu!”

Chuu acknowledges Jeongin’s presence, but quickly turns back to you. “I hope you win the race, Y/N. I have faith that you could do it!”

“Y-Yeah Y/N! We didn’t train all for nothing,” Jeongin adds onto Chuu’s comment. Thankfully, although Chuu doesn’t even know that you couldn’t swim prior to now, she doesn’t question Jeongin’s extra addition of training. “Let’s head over to the start of the pool? Seungmin’s already there, I’m just here to fetch Y/N.”

“Okay! I’m referee as well, so I have to be there too,” Chuu claims, and the three

Seungmin turns around from a group of boys to greet you, “Hey, Y/N! Ready for our match?

“H-Hey Seungmin,” you greet him with a friendly, yet shy tone, along with a nod.

“Okay!” Chuu gathers everybody’s attention with just the sound of her voice. “We’re here today to watch the race of Y/N vs Seungmin. On the count of three, I’ll blow my whistle and they’ll start swimming. You must go to the end of the pool, and right back to where we are right now. Ready?”

“3...”

“Also, just to calm your nerves a bit,” Seungmin whispers to just you right before the race begins.

“2...”

“I already know that you didn’t know how to swim before this. It’s okay if you fail, I’ll make sure nobody makes fun of you. Just stay safe, okay?”

“1...”

Your breath hitches for a split second, but before you can fully process what Seungmin just confessed to you, the whistle blows.

Seungmin dives into the water head first, while you jump in measly with your feet touching the water before the rest of your body. By the time you’re able to start kicking your legs, Seungmin is already ahead of you, so you push against the wall using your feet and start doggy paddling. It’s quite pathetic, and you’re sure that’s what everybody is thinking as they watch you swim, but it doesn’t matter at this point.

Or does it?

Because while you’re swimming across the pool, your brain just had to remind yourself about what Seungmin said seconds before the race started. He already knew you couldn’t swim, so it’s not really about impressing him anymore.

Then again, it’s not necessarily about winning, but about showing Seungmin that you’re dedicated enough to try new things to have fun with him.

That’s why it matters now.

However, it feels like you’re sinking.

Throughout the race, you’ve lost float after float, and now you only have the two floats that wrap around your arms. The water is slowly starting to touch your lips, and falling into a standing position, making your situation even worse. Your heart pounds faster and faster in a panicked frenzy, struggling to comprehend what to do.

Thankfully, cupid comes to rescue you.

He jumps into the pool like a lifeguard, placing his hands near your armpits before pulling you out of the water with a surprising amount of strength. Despite the midst of chaos you were put in, you’re able to hear cheers and applauds, signaling that Seungmin must’ve finished the race. Once again, you’re left to vanish, with the only other misunderstood student to help you.

You feel the surface of the concrete outside of the pool on your bottom as you cough out water. Yet, Jeongin is nowhere in your sight.

That’s when you realized. He’s submerged under the water.

You assume that he must’ve lost energy while saving you, resulting in the two of you swapping places. Eyes widening at the sight, you sprint across the flooring of the pool site, screaming your lungs out for somebody to help.

“Shit!” you curse yourself when you finally get the an adult’s attention after being unable to get a classmate to help you. All of your classmates ended up next to Seungmin, aka, the opposite end of where you stopped swimming. It’s only when the teacher pulls Jeongin’s unconscious body out of the water for it to lay down that it grabs everybody’s attention, swarming to see what was happening.

That’s when you snap.

“I’m disappointed in all of you right now!” you scold all of your classmates, something you’d never think you’d get the courage to do until now. “All of you were focused on that stupid race, but you never bothered to check on Jeongin. He could’ve died because of your ignorance! I hope you all know that.”

After leaving your classmates’ mouths agape, you storm out of the crowd, and make your way to the changing room. Nobody, not even Chuu or Seungmin, bothers to approach you.

Later that day, after some of your classmates apologized for not noticing what was happening, you, and a now in-stable-condition Jeongin, walk home after an exhausting day. Not many words are said, just like your regular walks after each school day, until Jeongin turns to you.

“Uhm, I just wanna say..” Jeongin starts to speak,. “Thanks for defending me earlier after I drowned.”

You blink in surprise, “Wait, you heard all of that?”

“Yeah, I was already conscious for a few seconds before you started going off on them. But thank you, seriously. I appreciate it after being misunderstood by our classmates for all these years,” Jeongin sighs, and then gives you another one of his kind smiles.

“Of course...” your mouth forms a thin line after you mumble out those two words.

Why is your heart fluttering like Jeongin’s pair of cupid wings?

Episode 7: All For Your Happiness

“Hey Chuu, listen to this!” you hold your phone right next to Chuu’s ear, which was playing the sounds you’d find at a haunted mansion. She yelps once she realizes what she’s listening to, and pushes your phone away with her palm, making everybody laugh.

Never in a million years would you find yourself sitting on a train with Chuu, Jeongin, and Seungmin all at once. The four of you were on your way to Chuu’s beach house, a place you’ve been to before during every summer break prior to this one, but it was always just the two of you. Now, however, you have your very own crush tagging along, plus his own best friend (and you don’t exactly know what you should call him anymore... Friend? Good Friend? Partner in Crime? Cupid Partner?).

And you and Jeongin have a plan. One time, for once, you came up with, and you believe that it’s less traumatizing than nearly drowning in a pool.

It just so turns out that Jeongin is a horror movie enthusiast, so he slipped multiple DVD sets of horror movie classics into his suitcase to do a watching marathon at the beach house. It also turns out that Chuu is terrified of anything that could scare her, like jump scares. So, the plan is for Jeongin to become Chuu’s knight in shining armor for whenever she gets scared during this trip.

“Why are you making me listen to all of these things?” Chuu whines with a pout. To be fair, you’ve been making her listen to these chilling noises for the entire train ride, to the point where you’re almost at your stop.

“It’s kind of funny to watch your reactions, that’s all,” you semi lie, because while it is a bit hilarious to see Chuu’s dramatic reactions, you’re waiting for the moment for Jeongin to strike.

And it’s at that moment when Jeongin finally speaks up, “Er- Chuu! If you ever get scared during this trip, come to me and I’ll-”

You mouth the word “protect” to Jeongin once he stops speaking.

“Uh- protect you!” Jeongin finishes after looking at you.

“Oh okay!” Chuu gives Jeongin a heartfelt grin. “I’ll make sure to go to you then, thanks!”

Jeongin nods eagerly, something Seungmin chuckles at, and you lean back in your seat at ease. If you’re able to successfully help Jeongin be Chuu’s knight during this trip, you’re certain that Chuu will at least take some interest at Jeongin.

The train reaches your destination swiftly after Jeongin’s interaction with Chuu, and after a quick bus ride and a trek to the beach, you’ve finally reached Chuu’s family beach house.

“Wow, this is awesome Chuu!” Seungmin shouts gleefully as he looks at the house. The house is relatively small and gives off a modern feel, but it’s fortunately enough to fit four people in.

Chuu smiles at the compliment, “Thank you! My family is fortunate enough to own a place like this for the summer. But since my parents are always overseas when summer rolls around, this place turns into a paradise for Y/N and I!”

“Anyways,” Chuu continues. “We should probably clean up the house since it hasn’t been used since last year, but I say we go play on the beach first!”

While Seungmin and Jeongin nod their heads eagerly, a lightbulb is turned on in your head.

“Actually,” you speak up. “I’ll go on ahead and clean up the house first. It’s probably messy inside, and you guys know how much of a ‘neat freak’ I am.”

Jeongin seems to catch onto your idea, his eyebrows rising, “Oh, then I’ll clean up with Y/N too!”

“But you seem really excited for the beach Jeongin,” Seungmin questions, but Jeongin waves it off.

“It’s okay! You two can go play first,” Jeongin insists, and the other two don’t ask anymore questions, heading towards the ocean. “You really are a smart person, aren’t you Y/N?”

There it is; that fluttering in your heart again, but why now? “Well, you’re smart for catching on. Let’s go place scary traps all over the house?”

“Heck yeah.”

After some time cleaning up the house (and making what would be Seungmin and Jeongin’s room especially clean) and placing various objects around the rooms to create a horror effect, the two of you had finally joined the others at the beach. It was then that the “Scare Chuu Montage” officially began.

During your time at the beach, you attempted to kick some seaweed at Chuu’s legs to make her jump, but the ocean water never agreed to your intentions and spared her. That night, Chuu walked into the dark bathroom only to meet eyes with a reflection in the mirror. But when Jeongin came rushing over, Chuu had already turned on the light and saw the makeshift face you created on the mirror using face cream and cotton balls.

The second day, Chuu woke up to the sound of being a woman screaming her head off, making her jump out of her bed in alert. It was simply a sound you found on the internet, but at least it woke up her up. The day was spent shopping at the nearby mall, so you couldn’t do very much to scare Chuu other than to hide at various nooks and crannies. You also ordered for Jeongin to stay by Chuu’s side at all times, but he didn’t do very much other than attempt to hold her hand (which was a very poor attempt, so of course, he failed). At least you and Seungmin talked individually while getting some ice cream, and to your utter surprise, it wasn’t that awkward.

The third day, you finally got Seungmin on board with your plans. Although a bit skeptical at first, you insisted that it would be a fun and harmless prank, and counteracted him by saying he laughed when Chuu got scared during the train ride. With Seungmin teaming up with you and Jeongin (without knowing your real intentions with the pranks), the horror movie marathon started despite Chuu’s pleads (to ensure that Chuu didn’t find any other movie disks around the place, you hid them all on the first day in a location she’d never look).

With Jeongin and Chuu on the couch and you and Seungmin on the floor, you don’t think it’s possible for the two to still be away from each other after this marathon ends. The first movie starts off generally slow pacing, but it’s enough for Chuu to mutter out pleas of worry for the characters. Jeongin quietly laughs at her antics, telling her once more that he’s there if she needs to be comforted, and you give Jeongin a mental high five.

By the end of the night, the two were cuddling, Chuu’s face looking especially scarred, while you and Seungmin finished the massive bowl of popcorn. When the lights finally came on, Chuu and Jeongin finally realized the position they were both in, and quickly scurried away from each other to your amusement.

The fourth morning came shortly afterwards, and with that morning came the end of your trip at the beach house. Although it was spent mostly with your attempts at scaring your very own best friend, you still had fun yourself, and even spent some time with your crush.

And it seemed like your efforts finally paid off, because Chuu wanted to talk with Jeongin privately.

After Jeongin shoots a glance at you while walking off to a private room of the house with Chuu, you quickly shuffle your feet over when Chuu’s not looking, placing your back against the wall. You hear footsteps inside the room before they suddenly stop, and then hushed whispers are all you could hear.

But then, Jeongin’s voice increases in volume.

“You.. You knew that we were pranking you?”

Your next breath gets caught up in your throat once you realize what exactly that meant.

You failed?

Chuu hums, “I did, but I didn’t bother to tell you because it looked like you and Y/N were having so much fun. Actually, I was only guessing that you were pranking me this entire time, until Seungmin came and confirmed it with me.”

“Seungmin?!”

“Yeah, Seungmin! I guess he played you guys,” Chuu laughs. “At least you had fun on this trip! I actually did, too, because I love scary stuff. I’m not afraid of it at all.”

“Oh...”

“Hey, cheer up! You made me happy, and you’re happy too, isn’t that what matters?” Chuu reassures Jeongin. “Anyways, we should continue packing. I just wanted to get that off of my chest.”

You hear more footsteps, and then something that sounds like a cushioned thud.

“Thank you, Jeongin.”

You must’ve heard Jeongin squeak, because he has to clear his throat before answering. “S-Sure, Chuu. Yeah, of course!” Jeongin says the last few words more confidently as Chuu giggles.

That’s when you rushed into the nearest bathroom moments after the door swings open. The shuffling of footsteps is heard again, until they stop once more, and then somebody knocks on the door.

“I know you’re there, Y/N,” Jeongin claims, and that’s your signal to open the door.

“Yeah, but that’s not what matters here!” Jeongin’s eyes are wide open as he lets out wheeze after wheeze. “I- No- We made her happy, Y/N! She really enjoyed these past couple of days! And, and! She gave me a hug, Y/N!! I don’t think I’ll ever get over this, seriously. I’m falling for her more and more.”

It’s the first time that you’ve seen Jeongin as giddy as this, in the several months you’ve known him. Is this what love does to people? Is it supposed to make their heart burst like what you’re seeing right now?

Because, if so, why don’t you feel like that for Seungmin anymore?

Note to self: Jeongin, out of all people, loves hugs.

Episode 8: And He’s Gone

Seungmin has been acting.. rather odd lately.

To be fair, the school festival had just ended, plus the student council election was about to occur, so you’d reckon he must be exhausted as vice president of the council. Perhaps he must be busy thinking of ways to campaign (not that he needs to, everybody agrees that he’s the best person to become the next president) or maybe he’s just getting a good rest.

But that’s not what Jeongin claims.

[Jeongin: he doesn’t want to run for president]

[You: really?!]

[Jeongin: yeah, but he won’t even tell me the reason]

[You: ahhh what do we do now T-T]

[You: on one hand we should respect his decision]

[You: but on the other, the school will crumble without him]

[Jeongin: idk y/n]

[Jeongin: i could try to explain to him why he should run or at least try to get his reasoning]

[You: yeah you should do that]

[Jeongin: cya]

You drop your phone down onto your chest, sighing heavily. Rolling over on your bed to face the window, you ponder as to why Seungmin would make such an impulsive decision like that. He was always so passionate about being a member of the student council, so why is he backing away from it now?

“Bad news: I wasn’t able to get any info from Seungmin,” Jeongin confesses as the two of you walk to school for another day. “Good news: I have a plan in case Seungmin truly doesn’t want to run for president!”

“It seems like all of your plans are either dumb, crazy, or both,” you retort back at him. “But shoot.”

“One of us runs for president!”

“Don’t shoot, nevermind.”

“No no no, you have to listen to me for this,” Jeongin attempts to persuade you. “Because after you hear my explanation, you’ll probably think it’s a good idea.”

You stay silent.

Jeongin continues though, “So, if one of us runs for president, and campaigns really bad, we’re talking ‘I’m going to give everybody six ounces of homework when I become president’ bad, then Seungmin would want to jump in to save the school!”

“Why don’t we make somebody else do it? Like- Chuu for example!” you insist, but Jeongin’s not having any of it.

“Chuu’s too popular, she might actually win. So it has to be one of us.”

“Then you do it because it’s your idea.”

“Nope.”

You sigh in defeat, “Rock paper scissors?” Jeongin nods, and gets his hands out. You’re quite confident that you’ll win, as you’re somehow incredibly good at rock papers scissors. Jeongin seems like the type of person to throw out scissors as a first move, and since this isn’t a best out of three game, you have to take your shot.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

Your rock is meant with his paper as Jeongin chuckles, covering your fist with his hand.

“Looks like you’re running for president!” Jeongin beams at you.

It’s now a week after your rock paper scissor match with Jeongin, the reason you’re even here in the first place. Next to you is a set of speakers, and in your hand is a megaphone. Taking a deep breath, and taking the time to glance at the boy behind you, you put the megaphone next to your mouth.

“Listen up you morons!” you shout at the confused crowd of students beneath your feet, trying to ignore the burning of your face. “I, Y/L/N Y/N, am running for president! So unless any of you cowards decide to run as well, I’ll be your new president! Get used to it!”

“Y/N’s running?”

“Out of all people?”

“Gosh, why isn’t Seungmin here when we need him?”

You continue on with your speech, going on and on about how you’re basically going to rip this school into shreds. You start to worry that you’ll be doing this until the school bell rings for first period, starting to question how much courage you have left to not collapse out of embarrassment, until he finally shows up.

“Excuse me! Sorry, I need to get through!”

“Why are you doing this, Y/N? And why are you helping them Jeongin?! This isn’t like you guys,” Seungmin demands with a worried expression on his face.

You and Jeongin look at each other, before you decide to answer. “We’re doing this because you weren’t running for president for some dumb reason. This school needs you, Seungmin!”

Seungmin’s mouth forms on “o” shape as he realizes your intentions, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

He chuckles, “You really are something, aren’t you Y/N?” Seungmin’s expression softens when he meets your eyes, showing gratitude. He gently takes the megaphone from your hands, and clears his throat.

“My name is Kim Seungmin, and I will be your next student council president!”

An uproar of cheers follow his announcement, and you let out a laugh of relief. Now you could bail out of the election, leaving Seungmin as the only person the school could vote for as president. It’s a win win situation.

Until the election ceremony rolls around.

All of the students are packed into the gymnasium, each class standing in rows. On the stage you could see the current student council members, along with Seungmin, and your heart races for him.

He’s called up to the front of the stage after being announced as the school’s new president, and a thunder of applause booms through the gym. Seungmin stands in front of the microphone.

“I’m Kim Seungmin, I’m your new president, and... and-”

“I am in love with our former president, Park Jihyo!”

He’s in love... with Jihyo?

Jeongin immediately turns to look at you, his mouth agape just like yours. The rest of the audience starts murmuring to each other in disbelief. Seungmin, out of all people, pulling a stunt like this?

Oddly enough though, you don’t feel the same heartburn that you felt the first time you were rejected. It’s almost as if... you’re okay with this.

“You’re the reason why I’m standing here today; because you gave me a purpose at this school! And I know that you’re leaving to study abroad right after I take your role of president, so that’s why I’m shooting my shot today!” Seungmin explains loudly to the microphone, right in front of Jihyo, who’s standing there with an unamused look on her face. “Do I have any chance to be with you? Any chance whatsoever?!”

By the end of his speech, Seungmin is out of breath from shouting so much, and Jihyo seems to be stunned. She quickly shakes her head to clear out her mind, though, and takes the nearest microphone into her hands.

“And here, ladies and gentlemen, is your new student body president,” Jihyo calmly announces to everybody, not even acknowledging Seungmin’s confession at first.

“I taught him how to be a good leader, and that’s how he ended up on this stage today. I have absolutely no doubt that Seungmin will do an incredible job as body president. I care for him quite deeply, and I hope you will help him succeed at his duties of being president.”

“Please look after my good friend, Kim Seungmin, while I’m gone. Thank you.”

Rejection: unrequited love, but confirmed. To some, it may feel like a glass filled to the brim with water suddenly shattering onto the floor. To others, it’s a gentle, yet brutal, falling of a feather, easing its way to the ground.

While Jeongin thinks that two hearts were broken in that gymnasium, only one truly was.

And it wasn’t yours.

“So you’re saying you’re over Seungmin at this point?” Jeongin’s voice goes higher in pitch when he asks you. “Did I shoot my cupid’s arrow at the wrong person or something?”

You walk in silence for a few moments, letting the both of you ponder for a bit. How do you answer that question without obviously revealing who you truly like?

“Yah,” you ultimately avoid the question. “You never paid me back for that peach drink I bought for you.

Episode 9: Shot an Arrow at Each Other

[Chuu: i think i like him]

[You: who?]

[Chuu: jeongin]

You suck in an unexpected breath, and it’s almost as if your heart stops. Valentines Day is tomorrow, so it’s no wonder that Chuu’s coming to you for love advice. When you don’t reply, Chuu keeps sending texts.

[Chuu: i think i might confess to him on valentines]

[Chuu: and i have suspicion that he’s the one who’s been sending me love letters, but im not too sure]

You gulp, turning over onto your side and tucking yourself further into the sheets of your bed.

[You: then go for it!]

[Chuu: i would but]

[Chuu: i feel like somebody else would be happier with him]

[You: care to elaborate?]

[Chuu: i know there’s somebody else out there who could treat him better than me]

Does Chuu know? Are you that obvious?

[Chuu: y/n]

[Chuu: you have a special connection with jeongin]

[Chuu: you like him, don’t you? ^_^]

That damn emojicon. You could imagine that if this conversation were to happen in person, she would smile at your real big before dropping the bomb.

And you wouldn’t know how to respond. Because she’s right.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Jeongin wasn’t supposed to be nice to you. Jeongin wasn’t supposed to save you from drowning. Jeongin wasn’t supposed to encourage you to confess to Seungmin when you still liked him, and he wasn’t supposed to buy you ice cream

But at the same time, you weren’t supposed to buy him a drink. You weren’t supposed to clean his apartment. You weren’t supposed to cook him meals willingly. You weren’t supposed to help him that much during summer break.

The two of you were supposed to just be each other’s cupid, but because you weren’t, you’ve fallen for him.

[You: but jeongin likes you]

No, you refuse. You refuse to let your emotions get in the way of Jeongin’s and Chuu’s happy ending. You refuse to let your emotions get in the way of what you and Jeongin have been striving for this entire school year. You’re better than that, stronger than that.

But why does it hurt so much?

The next day, Valentines Day, comes faster than you would’ve liked. Normally, this would be your favorite day of the year, because you liked seeing other people happy despite you being alone yourself. The outcasting you’ve put up with for the majority of your school life doesn’t bother you on this day surprisingly, as it’s always fun to see Chuu’s desk swamped with candies and anonymous letters.

It’s fun watching other people be happy.

This year, however, you’re left with a stain in your heart that you’re constantly reminded of throughout the day. Jeongin raves on about how he’s thinking about confessing to Chuu, yet you don’t have the heart or the energy to tell him that Chuu is thinking of the same thing. Then again, it’s better not to get in the way of love, right?

Chuu hasn’t spoken to you much ever since she read your final message to her last night. You don’t blame her, really, but she should do what’s best for her, not what’s best for you.

And Seungmin, to your utter shock, has been pretty chill this Valentines Day, not making a fuss over being rejected by Jihyo. Jihyo has already been abroad for several months at this point, so it’s given time for Seungmin to heal.

You make it through the day without too much distracting you, other than those thoughts buzzing in your head. The bell rings, signaling the end of the draining school day, but Chuu grabs onto your wrist and drags you into an empty classroom.

Your stomach starts churning once more when you see Jeongin and Seungmin in the room. Flinching when Chuu slams the door close a little too hard, you watch as she walks to the center of the room.

“Seungmin, you’re only here if I need backup, okay?” Chuu eases down Seungmin’s nerves, to which he responds with a nod.

“So,” Chuu takes a deep breath. “Don’t you have something to say to me, Y/N and Jeongin?”

You’re caught off guard by the sudden question. “What- What do you mean?”

Chuu only laughs, “You and Jeongin teamed up to make sure I fall in love with Jeongin this year, right?”

You and Jeongin freeze.

“And also, you tried to make Seungmin fall in love with Y/N, yes? But it didn’t work out, which brings us here,” Chuu crosses her arms over her chest. “You know, you almost did make me fall in love with Jeongin. Remember our conversation yesterday, Y/N? About how I was gonna confess to Jeongin?”

You don’t bother to move a muscle, but Jeongin, across the room from you, looks stunned.

“Well, I never bothered with that plan anymore. I realized that I only merely had a crush on Jeongin, and crushes never go that far. So with that being said-”

“Why are you... ruining everything now?” you take the chance to ask Chuu, but your question comes out in a more timid tone than you had anticipated.

“Ruining everything, you say?” Chuu scoffs. “That’s not what I’m doing here! I’m making sure everybody gets the ending they’re happy with.”

“But this isn’t how it was supposed to go!” you finally yell at the top of your lungs. “Jeongin liked you, and now you like Jeongin. The two of you already have a happy ending, why do you need to push this further?”

“Because you like Jeongin, that’s why!”

You shut your mouth before you could utter another word, panic spreading all over your body. Not even making the effort to look at Jeongin’s current expression, you raise your head up to look at Seungmin, who looks like he could offer you no help whatsoever.

It’s all falling apart.

“Y/N-” Jeongin attempts to speak, but you cut him off without realizing.

“I.. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“You’re running away, Y/N,” Chuu states, which makes you grit your teeth.

“Wait, Y/N, just listen to me-”

“Please, not now-”

“Y/N!”

Once Jeongin shouts your name, Chuu accidentally releases her grip on your wrist, and you flee the classroom, sprinting as fast as you could in your school shoes. Chuu stares at Jeongin once you swiftly exit the classroom, to which Jeongin responds by running after you, Chuu following behind right after after thanking Seungmin for being there.

“You can’t force love! You can’t make two people fall in love with each other!” Chuu tries to tell you while running through the hallways. “Love happens naturally. I might love Jeongin, but Jeongin only had a crush on me, that’s not the same!”

“So I’m willing to put aside my feelings to help two people who truly, genuinely, love each other without any doubt in their hearts! Can’t you see? Jeongin loves you, not me. And you love Jeongin, not anybody else.”

And then Jeongin snaps.

“SHE’S RIGHT!” Jeongin booms. “Y/L/N Y/N, you’re the one I love! I love y-”

But you’re already gone from their sight. The school entrance has no people around, not even a silhouette of you running in the distance. The two catching their breaths at the entrance of your high school, their shoulders slump over in defeat.

Of course, it doesn’t end there.

Hours after the incident, hours after crying over the mixed emotions you experienced this Valentines Day, your doorbell is rung. You hesitate on whether you should even answer the door in the first place, sifting through the possible scenarios in your head. Your feet answers first, though, making your way to the door before your brain could even stop your motions.

It’s a letter, and you know that handwriting.

“come upstairs!”

And despite how reluctant you are, you still head to his apartment.

Jeongin greets you at the door, still wearing his school uniform just like you. In his hand is a rubber spatula, which is somewhat odd because you’ve never seen him hold kitchen utensils unless you were teaching him how to cook.

But there’s the aroma of food coming from the kitchen, one of various vegetables, and even the smell of meat. When you turn the corner, you infer that Jeongin was attempting to cook one of your one pot pasta meals, and it seemed to be almost done.

“Honestly,” Jeongin quickly goes back to tending to his cooking. “I wasn’t even sure if you were going to come, and that would be bad because this is two servings of pasta. But I knew you wouldn’t left me hanging.”

You hum, taking a seat at the dining table that was sparkling clean (something Jeongin kept up with even after you cleaned his apartment). Jeongin brings over two plates of pasta, steam still coming off of them.

“Try it! It’s your recipe, so unless I messed up something, it should be good,” Jeongin dives in with a fork, slurping up the noodles eagerly as you do the same.

“It’s good, really good, actually,” you compliment him. “But why did you invite me over here?”

“Well,” Jeongin says with food still in his mouth, but he swallows shortly after. “This is a date.”

You almost choke on your food at the word “date” coming out of his mouth. “But what about Chuu-”

“Didn’t you hear Chuu while we were running earlier? She’s content at the fact that we’re about to become a couple. She told me that she rarely ever saw you as bright and as happy before you met me, that’s a good sign, right?” Jeongin smiles at you, and it’s that smile again.

“A good sign that...?”

“You love me too.”

You pause your movements for a full three second, before you laugh tiredly. The realization hits you while you twirl your pasta with your fork. “This is weird.”

“What is?”

“That we tried to be each other’s cupid, but ended up falling for each other instead.”

Your analogy makes Jeongin burst into laughter, nodding his head excessively. “Yeah, you’re right.”

The two of you eat Jeongin’s food in a comfortable silence for a few moments, before Jeongin speaks up again.

“Does that mean that I shot an arrow at myself then?!” Jeongin gawks at you comedically, almost making you choke on his food.

“Perhaps,” you simply shrug, leaving your, what you assume you could finally call your boyfriend, up to speculate for himself.

The cupid game was finally over, after many, many months of pinning.

And it ended with a pair of cupids, in love with each other.

it’s promo time baby!

follow my networks @fluffyskzclub and @/angstyskzclub, our members provide you with sfw fluff & angst content for you to read!

i’m starting an official taglist for my fics! there’s one for oneshots like these, and one for my stray kids ot8 reactions & scenarios! (not gonna bother with one for my blurbs, don’t waste your time on a 2 minute read fic LOL) just let me know through my inbox as to which one(s) you’d like the join.

thank you so incredibly much for reading “a pair of cupids!” this story was physically and mentally draining. i wrote the first 3 sections last week, took a 3 day break because my family visited another state, and then wrote these last 6 sections in a span of... 5 days? it was NOT FUN my back is killing me oh my gosh have mercy on me if you think this was bad

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threeminutesoflife · 5 years ago

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Have You Any Wool?

Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x Reader Warning: 18+, dub/con, manhandling/rough sex, breath play/choking, unprotected sex Summary: Engagement dinner with Ransom doesn't go as planned Word Count: 3.2k

The car ride home was silent, tense. The car bounced causing Ransom to grumble when it caught the edge of a pothole. One more thing that was surely your fault.

Ten more minutes passed until Ransom broke the silence by revisiting the earlier accusation, “You were flirting with him. Might as well have pulled your top down when talking to that fucking prick.”

“If I exposed my tits every time I talked to a prick, I’d constantly be topless around you.”

Ransom shot you a glare as the car whipped the curve out of the city and down a remote road, “It’d be safer for you to only be concerned about my prick.”

Your fingers dug into the car door as he straightened out the vehicle, “What did you-”

“Smarter. It’d be smarter for you to only be concerned about me- and my huge prick.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you- there was no flirting.”

“Could have fucking fooled me with those exchanges tossed around.”

“What the hell, Ransom, you’re ridiculous. There were no secret coded exchanges. Nothing said was of value.”

“Sure. Nothing. Whatever you say.” You didn’t have to look at your boyfriend to know he rolled his eyes at least twice when spitting out those words.

“What is wrong with you? Whatever untrue scene you cooked up in your crazy head- knock it off.”

Ransom scoffed out your name, “I know what I fucking saw.”

“Oh my god-“

“No, I’m Ransom. Your boyfriend,” his eyes staying on the road as he spoke heatedly at you, “but I know how you’ve recently become confused on our roles to each other. So let me break it down- really fucking simply for you. I don’t loan my toys out for others to play with.”

“Fucking hell, Ransom-“

“Hugh… I think, I’ll have you address me as Hugh from now on.”

Taking your beaded clutch, you smacked Ransom’s bicep, “How about I call you ‘asshole’ and tell you to lose my number!”

Ransom growled and grabbed your purse as he weaved along the isolated lane. Taking the clutch, he smacked your thigh in return and tossed it out his window.

You screeched seeing your belongings fly across the wooded night sky, “Are you insane?! Pullover! Pullover right the fuck now! Everything I have is in there!”

Ransom pressed down harder on the gas pedal, propelling you back against your seat. “You have me- that’s all that fucking matters. Fran can play fetch and get it tomorrow.”

“You can’t just order her- Ugh- Pull over right now, Ransom! Goddammit, you’re unbelievable! I need my keys, my phone, my fucking wallet! It’s all in there, you asshole!”

Ransom only picked out one thing from your rant, “I’m the asshole? What kind of grade A bullshit are you feeding yourself to believe that? You were the one flirting with someone in right front of me. I don’t need to be in this relationship, you know. Plenty of people want me.”

Your eyes narrowed at that, “Then let me out here if that’s how you really feel, asshole.”

Ransom ignored your challenge and the look you shot him to smugly add, “Besides, seems like you’re up shit’s creek without a paddle. No keys? Guess you need me pretty fucking badly now.”

He squeezed your thigh and slid he hand down closer to the apex of your thighs.

“Are you crazy?” You pushed his hand away and pressed your knees together tightly. “Are you seriously getting off on being a complete shitwad to me? And- hey asshole, look at me- he was the waiter. The waiter. He asked if we wanted dessert. Meaning you and me, Ransom- not him and me. With your sweet tooth, of course I asked about the dessert options! For you, Hugh.”

You flipped his car’s heater on with more force than necessary. Really at this point, all you wanted to do was smash every button and rearrange all his settings into chaos. “All this fighting, you’d think the rage would keep me warm. But no, it’s freezing in here!”

“Maybe try wearing more clothes and not letting your nips slip out to random men.” Ransom flipped the heater off with a smirk, “Should have brought a sweater.”

“I hope you fucking choke on your sweater,” You mumbled as you crossed your arms over your chest, feeling cold and vulnerable.

Ransom arched an eyebrow at your wish and internally gloated when you ran your hands over your arms, trying to warm up.

You refused to acknowledge him, keeping your eyes pointed out the window. “Just take me home. I know you keep my spare key on you.”

Ransom smacked the steering wheel in annoyance with how the evening went, making you slightly flinch.

He had been anxious all day and well-aware he was acting like a dick to you at the moment. But the untouched ring box in his coat pocket felt too heavy for him to speak kindly to anyone tonight, even you.

Ransom had been nervous since picking up the archaic piece of jewelry. A feeling that left him sneering at a weak characteristic of humanity. He wasn’t a soft individual, but he wasn’t as abrasive around you.

He knew he wanted you as soon as you met and rejected him, only then to turn around and tell him to meet you in the restroom at the charity event. He walked in expecting to receive a blowjob and gift you with a beaded necklace. Instead, he was surprised and became more aroused when you lifted up your gown and instructed him to get on his knees and press his lips to yours.

He had this night planned for a long time- the setting, the restaurant, little details ironed and starched out. But when he arrived at the perfect restaurant, he was quickly pulled aside- as perfect you was led away to the perfect table- and was quietly informed that the perfect waiter, who he perfectly coached to ensure the perfect timing, was perfectly out sick.

The stand-in waiter was a shit show, and Ransom was convinced the guy couldn’t even shit in a pile.

Besides being on edge all night from his nerves, Ransom was now on edge from the imbecile who couldn’t time the courses correctly and wouldn’t stop talking to you like you were friends playing twenty questions.

It felt like he was watching the waiter attempt to speed date you, every time circling around your seat with more questions. What are your side dish preferences, would you like more cheese, how about more pepper, would you like your glass refilled?

Were you actually flirting with the waiter? No, you were being a polite customer. But at that point of the night, all Ransom could focus on was the wasted time he spent on the preparations and his perfect proposal going down a perfectly shit-filled toilet.

But then as negativity was drowning Ransom’s thoughts, you did that thing only you could do.

You knew something was wrong with Ransom without having to ask. You took his hand across the table and gave it a light squeeze. A tilt of your head as you bit your lip and smiled endearingly at him. He felt your thumb rub the back of his hand, each graze softer than the last. He felt the sincerity in your smile and saw the concern in your eyes. You treated him in a way that was far better than he deserved- a way he didn’t know he wanted to be treated until meeting you.

And this was it. This was the moment he planned for.

You cemented it with that serene look of adoration for him.

This was right, this was perfect.

He gave a crooked smile and thumbed his pocket for the ring box. Clearing his throat, he softly said your name. Almost too softly, because you half-laughed and looked at him with a look of cute confusion. He held your hand just a little bit tighter, a little bit more desperate. He leaned in closer from across the table and-

The waiter came back and interrupted the moment by asking about dessert. As you pulled your hands away from Ransom, you smiled politely at the waiter. Ransom felt you and your obvious answer of yes slip away from him. And he was pissed.

As the ring grew cold again in the velvet box, he vowed with every bite of the overpriced, sickly-sweet dessert he’d never eat here again.

Ransom shook his head at the tension refilling the car. The ring still stashed away in his coat pocket, teasing him with how it wasn’t warming on your finger.

The ring was still cold, but his annoyance and sweater kept him plenty warm.

He’d make up for the fight later. You were his. You’d forgive him, you always did. But first, finding a small amount of humor in his ill-aimed anger, he turned the air conditioning on. Before you could protest, Ransom flipped on the radio and raised the volume to drown out the inevitable sound of your chattering teeth.

Shifting in your seat to find a comfortable spot, you kicked off your heels. Debating which was worse- cold feet or sore feet? Biting your tongue at Ransom’s childish air conditioning antics, you weren’t about to address him more than you’d have to. You were annoyed with yourself for agreeing to eat at this out-of-the-way restaurant, and even more annoyed at yourself for losing your purse to your and Ransom’s tempers.

---

“This is not my house, Ransom,” you weren’t surprised to see he only drove where he wanted to go.

“Get out, we’re having makeup sex.”

You kept your arms crossed in annoyance and didn’t move. “Wow, so romantic. Hugh Ransom Drysdale, everyone- the last true Renaissance man.”

Ransom inhaled deeply, half-amused and half-not at your dry sense of humor, “Grab your shoes or leave'em, I really don’t care. But your ass is going to be out of this car and cupped in my fucking hands within the next five minutes.”

“I am too fucking cold for these games, Hugh. Some asshole kept the air conditioner on and wouldn’t lend me a sweater. You want us to stop fighting? Fine, we’ve stopped. But we are not fucking. Now take me home.”

“We are home. Get out or I’ll move you, y/n.”

Something about Ransom’s tone made your legs flex and your knees press together. He knew it would draw a reaction from you, it always did. You sat up straighter, your core awaking at the thought of him manhandling and manipulating your body into various positions.

Smugness twisted in Ransom’s smile as he undid your seatbelt, “Look at you rubbing those thighs together, baby. You whine about going home but we both know you’re only going to end up in my bed. If we even make it that far.”

Ransom slammed the driver's door closed and came around to your side as you tried to downplay your interest and focus on your annoyance with him instead.

He opened your door and rested against it, “Out. Before I help you.”

You grabbed a high heel from the floor and pointed it at Ransom with each word, “Leave. Me. Alone.”

Ransom dove at you, grabbing you roughly out of the car, “You’re pissing me off, y/n.”

You yelped when he flung you over his broad shoulder, your stomach pressed painfully into him.

“And I have to say, I fucking like it,” Ransom smacked your ass and kicked the car door close.

The high heel abandoned on the ground as he made his way into the house with you.

He kneaded your freshly spanked cheek, only to smack it again, “Keep screaming. Make a scene. I know you’re wet and ready.”

Ransom dropped you on the bed to bounce about as he took off his sweater and dropped it behind you on the mattress. “Strip.”

Your eyes dart over Ransom’s chest and up to his eyes. You were still miffed with his attitude tonight, but when he became forceful and unpredictable like this- you couldn’t wait for the release.

Ransom kicked your knees apart and stepped one leg in between your open thighs. “I know, my girl. Fuck, I can smell my girl. Strip before I rip it off you.”

You jumped up and caught his face in your hands, crashing your lips against his. Teeth, tongue, bitten lips, all clashing over his; the desperation and hunger for it all felt more like a tactical advance than a romantic gesture.

Ransom pulled away first and chuckled darkly, “It’s always a sexual rollercoaster with you.”

His fingers snaked across the top of your sweetheart neckline and he slid two fingers underneath the material. He kept his eyes on yours as he slowly dipped his fingers up and down along your smooth skin.

Moving his fingers over your clavicle and up your neck, he laid them across your lips as you opened your mouth. Your tongue darted out, circling and wetting his fingers, anticipating him to insert his fingers in your mouth as you parted your lips more.

But he pulled away surprising you, and moved them back down to the top of your dress. Dipping his fingers between your cleavage, the cool air hit your skin along the wet trail he left.

“You’re a stubborn little tease, baby. Now, what did I tell you to do?” His hand came out from the top of your dress to grip the delicate material. Ransom jerked you close to him and bent his knee, your core hitting against his thigh as you stumbled into his chest.

Your eyes closed at the contact, your clit eager for more friction and attention. Biting your lip, you decided to change his command slightly and started undoing his belt. Ransom’s hips jolted out towards you as you tugged the leather lose. His grin widened when you tossed it on the floor and dipped your hands in his boxers.

Reaching behind you, he unzipped your dress. The tips of his fingers lingered down your spine. Ransom leaned into your neck, his teeth slowly nipped and his lips gently bruised your skin as his fingers dug into your hips. The dress pooled around your ankles, his pants followed. You stripped each other bare, a veil of soft intimacy hung around you both.

You cupped Ransom’s cheek with a soft smile, “Hi.”

A furrow started in his brow at your voice and before you had time to think, you were taken by surprise.

Ransom shoved you backwards, disliking the tenderness only you brought out in him.

Your head snapped against the mattress as your legs fell open, pussy glistening. Startled by his abruptness, you shouted out, “Asshole.”

“Oh, we’ll revisit that area again, princess- but I have something planned for you first.”

Ransom grabbed your ankles and yanked you across the bed to him. Gripping your hips, he flipped you over onto your stomach. He ignored your protests and slapped your bottom, sending a jolt through you.

Ransom’s hands ran up the back of your legs, his thumbs dipped between the apex of your wet thighs.

He moved his slick-coated thumbs along the crease of your cheeks, “Go on, keep crying wolf, baby. We both know you like it.”

His words made you involuntarily lift your ass off the bed, welcoming him to tease you more. Pulling you up to his chest, Ransom dropped his arms around the front of your waist and rocked his erection against your ass.

His lips ghosted your ear, his long fingers teased your clit, “Turn over, lay down. You’re going to like this.”

Breaking away from Ransom you dropped to all fours but didn’t refused to move further, and watched him spit and stroke himself over your shoulder.

He looked down at you, an eyebrow raised at your delay, “Fucking stubborn. Fine, I’ll make sure you love this.”

Ransom jumped at you, grabbing your shoulder and collaring your neck. He twisted you over onto your back and pressed his weight into your chest. His hold tightened around your neck and your knees fell apart inviting him closer to your core.

“So beautiful, aren’t you?” He lined himself up to your entrance. “So fucking sure of yourself,” he groaned as he felt you stretch around him. “So fucking sure-”

He pressed his fingers harder into the column of your throat as he pushed himself deeper into you, “I won’t hurt you, much.”

One of your legs hooked around his waist, both of your arms around his torso as he dragged himself in and out of you. You concentrated on your breathing and the chaotic fluttering in your core.

Every push into you, Ransom held your throat tighter; every pull away from you, he loosened his grip.

“You still cold, baby?” Ransom mocked and rolled his hips deep into you.

A mangled moan and a hard press of your heel on his ass was your reply.

“Here,” Ransom rocked back on his heels, pulling you back with him and down onto his cock with a tilt. “Let me warm you up some more.”

His knees dug into the mattress while your bottom was suspended in the air, each ass cheek in Ransom’s hands while your legs were wrapped high around his waist. He watched himself slide in and out of you, glistening. Your moans filled the room and nails bit into his forearms as you matched each other’s pace.

“Fuck.. Ransom..” You patted wildly. “Oh my god...”

He rolled his hips and snapped into you harder, arrogance and pleasure rolling off him.

Keeping himself inside you, Ransom dropped your bottom and bridged himself over you, his arms caging you under him, “Gotta get you warmer, baby.”

Without slowing his pace, he reached for the discarded sweater with one hand and looped it around your neck.

He felt your pussy clench as he made the knot. Your whimper cut off as Ransom tightened the wool sleeve around your throat.

With one hard yank on the sweater, he dove himself deeper in your pussy. Your cervix hurt but you were never wetter.

“That’s it, baby,” Ransom murmured above you, watching your reactions, all your tells, as he fucked you faster. “Fuck! Can feel you trying to milk my cock. So.. close.”

The sweater knotted in his hand as he braced his weight on his elbows. A tighter twist with a dirty roll of his hips. Your ankles locked above his ass as he slammed you over the edge.

“Right there, baby,” Ransom cupped your face, twisted the sweater tighter and roared, “RIGHT... THE... FUCK… THERE!”

Your mouth fell open and vision whitened as you shattered around him, your cunt convulsing and squeezing him. Ransom loosened the sweater and grabbed your face as he rutted into you.

His rhythm lost as he kissed your cheeks and brought you back to him, “So good, baby. My fucking girl.”

You pulled his lips to yours and swallowed his moans as he found his own release in you.

---

Ransom climbed back in bed, the sounds of your steady breathing filled the room as he nestled himself behind you. He pulled your back closer to his chest and slipped his leg between yours. Pressing his thigh against your core, he smirked feeling his dried release still staining your skin. Tomorrow morning, you would notice the ring on your finger. But by then, it would be warm on your skin and remain there. It didn’t matter to Ransom that he hadn’t asked you, you were his.

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom x reader #ransom drysdale #dark!ransom drysdale x reader #dark!ransom x reader #Knives Out fanfiction #ransom drysdale imagine #soft!dark ransom x reader

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 2 years ago

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Old Bones Aflame (Part 40)

That feeling when its chapter 40 when you just wrote chapter 1.

Quin-Shaw and his friends tag along for the trip home. She supposes that that makes things a little easier, at least in some regards. Hama seems to be more cheerful knowing that her push to get her to make some friends had worked. And she supposes that it is nice to have a few people to talk to who are around her age.

This, however, is the second third night that she has had to force herself to eat one or two more bites than she could handle in order to avoid unwanted questions and attention from the other folks who have tagged along with their tools and their skills.

And so it is that Azula is a good distance away from the camp, behind a tree losing the dinner that she’d just had. When her body is finally through, she slumps against the tree and takes a few breaths. Agni, it is so taxing. But there will only be one more night of this. Only one more night of having to pretend to sleep.

“You alright?”

She jolts. “Why aren’t you with the rest of the group?”

“Hama asked me to check on you.” Quin-Shaw replies. “She’s busy squabbling with Kohan about whether or not we should all just pull an all nighter and just get to the shack or if we should stop off at some point.”

“I vote we just pull an all nighter.”

“Just because you don’t need sleep…” He grumbles.

“I’m just tired of having to eat and then…” She gestures to the tree she had just emerged from behind. “If it were just you and maybe the others I’d be fine. But there are so many strangers and I don’t need the questions.”

“Fair enough.” He replies. “Why don’t you just tell everyone that you’ve got food poisoning?”

“That will work for a while.” She agrees. “But eventually people are going to get a little suspicious if I’m constantly getting food poisoning. They’ll probably suspect that Hama is trying to assassinate me or something considering her reputation.”

She follows him back towards the rest of the group where Hama and Kohan’s debate is just wrapping up. It would seem that Hama had lost and they will be spending one more night out here in the jungle.

.oOo.

They begin at dawn.

The sun is still rather low on the horizon, casting a soft yellow-orange haze over the land. It sparkles over the retracting floodwaters in which toad-squirrels begin their morning croaks and dragonflies flittingly skim the surface.

“We’ll split off into three groups.” Azula announces on behalf of Hama, who is quite adamant that they will listen to their princess over some old Water Tribe hag. Granted, she has to agree, and she has missed ordering people around. She feels a touch closer to having the importance that she once had. “Group one will begin working on the water pump, group two will work on the roof, and group three will work on the interior.” She pauses. “Hama, myself, and and Khan will be doing some of the garden work. Apparently Junko will be babysitting Dao who is allergic to everything but peppers.”

Dao rubs the back of his head. “My parents should have moved to Caldera City…”

Azula furrows her brows. Caldera City…

The name is familiar. It smacks into her like the gales of the avatar state, several buried memories slam into her all at once. They are mostly mundane; trips to buy new clothing, firework dazzled new year festivals and summer festivals with spicy tinged aromas, and a great many instances of addressing the general public at her father’s side…

She shakes her head.

There is a hand on her back and a couple dozen pairs of anxious eyes observing her. “She mentioned having food poisoning the other day.” Quin notes.

“I’ll be fine.” She insists. “I just…get me something to drink.”

“I got it.” Nim-Hara volunteers.

Azula nods. “Anyhow, most of what needs to be done is rather simple; just patching a few holes in the floor on the porch. The roof needs to be re-thatched. And the waterpump…I don’t know anything about that so I’ll leave that to group one. Don’t mess anything up or there might be another string of mysterious disappearances.”

“I would never.” Hama comments.

“Of course not.” She claps her stump against her palm. “Well then, let's get to it.”

.oOo.

The steady beating of hammers and knocking wood is music to Hama’s ears. It is the sound of progress and a coming sense of security. It is the sound of forgiveness and acceptance. The sound of no longer being an unwelcome guest on the far outskirts of Honoki. The sound of the village inviting her to drop by more often.

“See, what did I tell you?” Kohan asks.

“About what?”

“I told you that you would have a much easier time if you made peace with the villagers. Most of them aren’t so bad. We’ve got a good handful of hateful folks who enter the tavern now and then, demanding to be served by a firebender. But, I didn’t want to serve them anyhow.” He pauses. “It’s getting easier now that the war’s over.”

Hama nods and casts a glance over at Azula. “She made it easier.”

“And you’re lucky for it. You found yourself a powerful ally.”

“And some powerful enemies. The Fire Lord doesn’t like her and neither does that ungrateful water brat. To think! A waterbender fighting one of her own because she can’t see the value in reaching her full potential.”

“Bloodbending isn’t for everyone, Hama. It’s…unnatural.”

“It saved her.”

“And you mention that she no longer sleeps, eats, or feels physical pain. It may not be evil but it isn’t natural either.”

“The Avatar died and came back.”

“Through the use of Spirit Oasis water. That’s very different…”

“That’s not the point. The point is, that Katara girl is ungrateful and she cost me a good deal. If I hadn’t been able to bring her back…”

Kohan nods. “You hold a harsh grudge.”

“Harsh!? They killed her! There’s no better reason to hold a grudge. And my first one was just as fair. I’ll apologize but I’d do it again–the Fire Nationals have to know that they can’t just go off invading kingdoms and get away with a slap on the wrist.”

“Speaking of wrists.” Azula cuts in. “Mine is getting sore. Are you going to help me dig out the last of the bindweed or not? And you promised that…”

“We’d be learning about new plants and how to sew. Yes, yes. Where is Khan?”

“He decided that, while plants are nice, as a waterbender his skills would be better appreciated by the water pump. I told him that he is correct.”

“So you’ve been digging up bindweed all by yourself?”

“Quin has helped for a moment.”

“We can finish this discussion some other time.” Hama replies and Kohan nods. “We’ll finish up with the bindweed and then you can teach her to sew. Your hands are steadier than mine, Kohan.”

.oOo.

Zuko furrows his brows.

“I didn’t realize that Hama had Fire Nation friends.” Sokka comments.

“Could she be using bloodbending?” Zuko asks.

“To control all of them?” Katara asks. “She can’t control that many people at once and it’s not a full moon.”

“Then what are they doing helping her? She terrorized them!” Sokka throws his hands up.

“Maybe she has some secret stash of wealth and she’s paying them all enough to feed them for years.” Toph suggests.

“Or maybe, she’s just an old lady trying to find some peace.” Aang says softly. “She and Azula were kind of just minding their own business when we showed up. And everybody that we talked to in Honoki said that neither of them have bothered anyone. They just came into town to buy a few goods and stay at the spa. That doesn’t sound like a terrorist plot to overthrow you, Zuko.”

“But this is Azula we’re talking about.”

“And Hama.” Katara adds.

“Maybe Azula just wants some peace too. Don’t you think that she would have made a move already if she was going to? Hama was teaching her to integrate waterbending forms into her firebending when we showed up.” He points out. “We were watching from a distance for a while that day; they were talking about learning about plants and teaching Azula to cook. Does that sound like evil plotting to you, Zuko?”

“Then why run all the way out here?”

“Because it’s peaceful out here, look around you! It’s really beautiful.”

“A-and maybe she might have had a problem with the straightjacket.” Toph shrugs.

“So what do you want to do Aang?” Katara asks. “Do we just leave two dangerous enemies together after we…”

“Killed her.” Aang says alarmingly bluntly.

“Hama spent decades plotting and enacting revenge because firebenders took her from her home. What do you think she’ll do to us?”

“Well maybe if we go there and just talk instead of appearing in their garden with fire in out hands…” he looks at Zuko. “We might be able to just talk some things over.”

“Azula is…”

“A really rational person. She likes talking. And that’s what she was doing…”

“Until Hama attacked us!” Sokka cuts in.

“That’s Hama, not Azula.” Aang replies. “I have a feeling that she won’t do that again if Azula tells her not to. And this time we have a whole crowd of people. I don’t think that any of us are going to do anything rash with so many people watching.”

“Aang, your optimism is terrifying.” Sokka grumbles.

“It’s not optimism.” He replies. “We’ve fought Azula before and she’s always been more inclined to use wit than raw power. We’re not at war anymore so let's not start battles.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Hama #Found Family #Fanfiction

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saigonharrington · 4 years ago

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nervous // g.w

Hi babes!

I’m finally posting the George fic that I was talking about and I am so excited for you to read it!

please, reblog if you like it, it helps me grow

disclaimer: my knowledge of werewolves is based only on a little internet research and the tv series named teen wolf, the episode named Anchors inspired me to write this

pairing: george weasley x werewolf!fem!reader

word count: 6k

Y/N - your name; L/N - last name; Y/F/N - your friend’s name

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, (kind of) panicking

summary: y/n is afraid of who she became, thinking that now she’s unlikable, but her new abilities prove her wrong, making her hear the boy’s talking and... the beating of his heart

“Hey, he’s staring again.” Your friend noticed the boy, who was standing across the hall with his brother and their friends.

Who was she talking about? George Weasley, of course, the person whose heart you could hear from miles away.

You met him a while ago, wandering through the halls at night, trying to sort some things out while he and his brother were bringing their another prank to life. Of all people attending Hogwarts, you bumped into them.

You never thought that someone, besides Prefects, would be seen in the corridors so you didn’t pay attention, focusing only on your thoughts. No wonder you got quite overwhelmed when you hit your head with something, and it definitely wasn’t a wall.

“Are you okay?” The redheaded boy asked you, worried about your well-being. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take my eyes off that Zonko’s new item. Are you sure you are fine? I can walk you to madam Pomfrey.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me.” You said, looking at the moon. “I’m heading to my dormitory, don’t want to bother you and your brother.” You nodded at him, so he told you his name.

“I’m Fred. The more handsome one. Also, the funnier one, because I’ve just made out an amazing plan. Care to join us? I swear you will not regret it. ” He encouraged you, and you didn’t want to be rude, finally agreeing to go with them. A couple of minutes more outside the dorm can’t hurt you, right?

The thing is, you spent almost the whole night preparing pranks with them and idly talking, joking about Snape and Filch.

The problem is, you haven't talked with them since that accident. Sometimes you exchanged a few words in classes you had together but nothing more.

So then why did George have a crush on you?

You asked yourself that question many times since you first heard him confessing his feelings to Fred. Every time this boy got closer to you or touched you accidentally, his heart was beating so fast like a drum. Your heart has been just as fast as his, but he couldn’t know that. You didn’t even know if it was because you shared his feelings, or did just knowing what he feels towards you, made you that anxious.

“I know. I’m still not able to control these new super senses. I saw him a while ago. Not to mention that his heart makes my ears hurt. ” You admitted, holding your head because all these sounds were giving you a headache.

“Well, maybe if you’d finally talk to him, your senses wouldn’t be a big problem. Perhaps if you can’t manage to control them, you should ask someone who might help you. Go to professor Lupin.”

“But he doesn’t know that I’m a werewolf. I’m still not comfortable when someone mentions that. ” You said, scared of what you’d become. You knew that sooner or later you were supposed to reach for help, but you felt insecure and didn’t want to recall that night when you were bitten.

“He’s coming over here.” Your friend interrupted your thought, reminding you of George.

“No way, we have to run.” You started packing your bag, standing up from sitting on the bench.

“Too late.” She added, making you turn around.

“Hello girls, how’s your day?” He asked nicely, staring at you constantly.

“Bad.” You whispered.

“Getting better.” Your friend interrupted you, because she knew how much you wanted to walk away, and she couldn’t let you, knowing that you have to confront him anyway.

“Great, I wanted to ask you a question.” He pointed at you, smiling widely. “Would you go on a date with me?” He scratched his back, getting stressed. You heard his heart pounding, which made you even angrier. The sound was so loud that you weren’t able to hear anything other than that, feeling like you could pass out at any moment.

“She would love to.” Your friend took the lead, which made the boy wonder why you weren’t responding. “She’s just as stressed as you are. Sorry for speaking in her name, but she talked about you for so long. I hope you understand.”

“Oh, no worries. Meet me after the lessons on Friday. I’ll be waiting near to the great hall. ” He explained, addressing it to you, adding a short “see you later” after his brother called after him.

“You should thank me.” Your friend addressed you, asking you to sit down.

“Gosh, his heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t focus.” You told her, relaxing a bit. “And no, I will not thank you. Can’t you understand why I’m avoiding him? I thought I told you.”

“No, I can. I just think that you’re wrong. ” She told you, winking at you.

“Think about it. If he’ll find out who I am, he won’t talk to me again. I’d rather stare at him, being miles away and aware that he likes me too than admitting who I am and getting rejected, him not being able to look at me again.” You admitted, hearing your voice cracking slowly.

“You idiot. You really think that werewolves are some type of creature that cannot function normally? You’re here for centuries, managing everything somehow, I bet that there were werewolves married to Muggles, to wizards, and many more. Don’t think of yourself as a beast, some kind of unlovable creature. That’s not what you are. You’re perfectly normal. By the way, bold of you to assume that he’s the first one to judge and won’t accept you.” She gave you a speech, trying to cheer you up.

“That’s exactly what I think. Can you blame me? I’m still not used to this, I never really talked with any other werewolves.”

“Then stop! See, you’re also prejudging him. There’s only one way to find out what he’s thinking about you. You’ll tell him the truth. But for now, we have to find Lupin.”

—

You were not ready yesterday, so after your friend spotted Lupin, you decided to hide. You wanted to be prepared for every topic that he will discuss with you, deciding that you’ll ask him to stay for a little talk when the DADA lesson finishes.

“Can I speak with you for a moment, professor?” You asked, trying to sound quiet.

“Yes, you may. What’s the problem, miss L/N?”

“If you’re going to ask questions, then I might stay here for a little longer than ‘ a moment ’.” You joked, secretly being scared of admitting the truth.

“Anyway. As you may know, I am a werewolf. Before you ask, I prefer not to tell you how it happened. I’m still learning, and you’re the only one that came to mind. I thought that you might help me.”

“You should’ve come earlier. Weren’t you curious earlier about your abilities and how to control them?”

“I was. But I was also too afraid to say something. Werewolves aren’t considered as the nicest creatures, I wanted to avoid gossip. I still want to. ” You started a monologue, watching closely if Lupin is paying attention to you. “The main reason for me coming to have a little chat with you is not only to ask about my abilities. I’m invested in hearing. Because I cannot understand why some sounds are clearer and come to my mind often? What makes them so?”

“Do you have something specific in your mind?” He asked, being eager to help you.

“Someone’s heart beating. I mean, I hear a lot of sounds, but this one is haunting me, even if that person is completely in a different place. Am I losing my mind? Or did this happen to you as well?”

“This person is your anchor, then. The one who can calm you down, who can help you control all of your new skills. But it might change through the years, you don’t have one anchor for eternity. Everything is based on your feelings. ” Remus explained calmly.

“Who was your anchor? You don’t have to tell me if you’re not feeling comfortable with it, after all, I’m just another Hogwarts student. ” You asked out of curiosity, wishing that he will open up to you.

“It used to be someone who was my friend. I don’t think I have an anchor anymore. ” He answered, being rather peaceful and not bothered by it, however, you wanted to comfort him, asking for permission to hug him.

“You’ll find another anchor. You said that we can have it more than once, right? I bet that somewhere there is someone special, whose ability is to calm you down. ” You smiled shyly.

“Um, eh, we’re not here to be upset. Let’s focus on your issue.” He said, wanting to change the topic. “What you need to control your abilities is physical contact with that special someone. I can’t assure you that it will work after the first attempt, but it certainly might help.

“But that takes time, I think I was able to control most parts of it after months. Still, some things are not under my control. Anyway, don’t worry about that, everything has its flaws. If you’ll excuse me, I have an important meeting soon, I don't want to be late. If you want, we can meet again after one of my lessons.” Lupin bid you goodbye, making you leave his classroom.

As you were left alone, you started thinking about the conversation that happened seconds ago. It did not make sense to you.

How could George be your anchor?

Sure, you had a crush on him for a while, but nothing ever happened between you two. That one night, which you spent preparing pranks with twins was fun, nothing else. You decided to not make any more friends, because you remembered how Y/F/N reacted when you said that you’re a werewolf. So you drifted away not only for your own good, but also for his.

Why him? Why isn’t it your friend, or even someone from your family who is your anchor? And how are you going to explain it to him? “Hey, I’m a werewolf, and you’re the only one that keeps me sane? You have to stay with me forever, otherwise I might go crazy?”

No way. You couldn’t see it.

At the same time, George was calmly waiting for you next to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. He noticed that you stayed for a little talk with Remus, but he also was eager to talk to you.

Your date was supposed to happen tomorrow, and he wanted to make sure that you’re comfortable with him, and that you have something to talk about. He was afraid that maybe somehow tomorrow you guys will be stressed, so chatting the day before, no strings attached and just getting to know each other might lighten the mood.

“Hey.” He started the conversation without thinking about it. ‘Hey’? Couldn’t you think about anything better? Something more creative? Now she will think that you were stalking her, you dumbass, he thought, standing in front of you.

Never was he that close to you, or maybe just didn’t pay attention when you were around, but now he noticed the height difference between the both of you. He found it really hard not to kneel down, so he could see your eyes gleaming. Although he considered it cute and funny, he decided not to mock it. Well, not right now, since he had other reasons to talk to you and was so fixated about it.

“Hello George, what could have brought you here?” You asked, not bothering to look at him, because you would have to keep your head up.

“We just had the same lesson. I sit in front of you. ” He explained, thinking that you didn’t notice that detail. If the tall, ginger boy can be considered as a detail.

“Oh, I know. But the lesson ended 20 minutes ago. ” You said, wondering if he will say what he has in mind or will just play pretend.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Nothing deep, only to diffuse the tension before our meeting tomorrow. ” He scratched his head, walking slowly by your side.

“Meeting you say, and what’s that?” You teased him a little, finding it funny and adorable that he was afraid to use the word ‘date’.

“You know, when a group of people, two and above, meets somewhere. God, I was scared that I’m going to be the dumb one. Now I can relax. But I have to admit, I expected more from you. ” He joked, coping with his fear.

“Okay, so what’s the pre-meeting topic that made you come to me?”

“Actually…” He began, but you interfered.

“Shit. My friend is there.” You pointed at the end of the corridor, where she was talking with a Ravenclaw from your year. “We have to hide, I’ll explain.” You pushed him to the next door that appeared in front of you, finding yourself in Filch’s office. Great.

“Can you explain now? I thought that you like her. ” He asked out of curiosity.

“I do, but I don’t want her to interject in our conversation. Shh, I think someone’s coming. We should hide. ” You advised, being pretty sure that it’s Filch. Who else would come to his office? You made George hide behind the huge bookshelf, noticing how little space there was.

“You know, we could also say a spell to make us invisible.” He laughed at you, trying to find a comfortable position.

“Too late. Shut your mouth. ” You both tried to stay silent, hearing the sound of someone opening the door. George was almost sitting, because if he would stand normally, his head could be seen above the bookshelf.

His eyes were focused on you and your face in general, which made you hold your laughs way harder than you thought it would. If either of you made a sound, you’d end up in detention, and Filch would make sure that you get the worst punishment.

Fortunately, he only came to get one thing from his desk, so as soon as you heard the door shut, George suddenly moved, hitting his head on the shelf.

“Shh.” You said, listening closely to the steps that were getting closer.

“Ah, Mr. Norris, I forgot about you! But you didn’t have to hit the door so hard. I hope you forgive me. ” He said to the cat that stayed in his office, but this time he took it with him.

While they were going out of the office, you had to silence the boy, who was struggling because of pain. It was not your intention to show your werewolf abilities, however, he looked as it really hurt him, wanting to scream.

“Show me the back of your head.” You demanded, when the two of you went out of the hideaway. You slowly took his head with one hand, the other one intertwining with his fingers. He had no idea what you were doing. It was clever of you to take his hand, making it look like you were comforting him, while you took some of his pain away. Fortunately, you were wearing your long robes, so your veins were not visible. Otherwise, the boy would’ve seen how you were taking the sore, making the veins look blackish.

If it weren’t for your location and the cause of his headache, both of you would be on the way to the hospital wing. But how could you explain that George hit the bookshelf in Filch’s office? Well, you couldn’t. Good for you that the boy did not question your methods, he probably didn’t even notice the thing that you had done.

“That was weird. But also hilarious.” George admitted, laughing way too loud, when you carefully opened the door to check what’s going on outside the office. After you made sure that no one was staring, you took his hand again, making him go after you.

While wandering through corridors, you noticed it is almost empty.

“Why is no one here?” You asked, not expecting the ginger boy to answer.

“You know, I think everyone is having classes. We’re going to be late.”

“Oh no, we’re not going at all.” You replied quickly. “Not in the mood to get all the attention today, apparently the world is against me. We gotta be smarter, let’s play truant.” You tried to encourage George, but he already seemed to be in.

“That sounds great! Now I really do feel like we’re soulmates.”

“You doubted it? Wait, you never even mentioned that to me. ” You craved for an explanation, while George wasn’t so fond of telling you more.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a silly word. I intended to ask you something. Why didn’t you say anything when I asked for a date? Is it because you didn’t want to, or find me too intimidating?”

“Do you want the answer that will make you look bad, or do I have to take all the blame?”

“Depends which is the correct one.” He replied teasingly.

“I mean, I did think it was a little weird that you asked me, because after the pranks that night we talked only occasionally… how could I possibly be your soulmate? How could you grow to like me when you don’t know me at all? ” Yeah, you might regret that later, but you had to be honest.

“Merlin, I’m going to sound like a weirdo, but I do know you. At least I think so. You showed the real yourself that night, being careless and funny, besides in most of my classes I’m focusing on you, not the topic. I’m definitely sounding like a psycho, but you always sit in front of me or behind me, joking with your friend and I cannot help but hear more than a little and laugh quietly. I’ve liked you since that damn night and got to know you, in an unusual way, but still felt like we’re similar. That’s why I had to shoot my shot. Please don’t leave. ” He said, grabbing my hand, afraid of the vision that I might freak out.

“Can you shut up?” You replied in a harsh way, later realizing what you had done. “Shit, I didn’t mean… I just… you can speak. I’m just… Can you calm down? It sounds like your heart is going to run away from your body.”

“Am I sweating or what?” He asked, curious how did you notice that his heart was fluttering.

“Oh no I actually… I can hear your heart beating. Very, very fast. And that you’re swallowing now the gulp of saliva, because you’re scared. I even hear professor Flitwick explaining the cheering charm to the 3rd years. And that Hagrid is coming, I think he’ll appear in this corridor in two minutes.”

“Your eyes have just changed from their natural color. What is going on? Is something wrong? I am worried, I want to help you darling. ” He tried to comfort you, so you didn’t even notice the nickname. “Are you an Animagus? Metamorphmagus?”

“I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf, George. I’m so sorry, I know, I should’ve told you earlier. ” You admitted the truth, now being the one who’s afraid.

“No way! That’s so cool! I’m glad that I know! How many people know? Is this why you talked with Lupin? Can you show me your claws? And your transformation? ” The ginger got way too excited, so your job was to tone him down.

“Shh, remember that we’re in corridors, when we should be in classes. No one can know that we’re here. I’m so sorry for saying this, but I can’t show you. Not only is it irresponsible, but.. I can’t control anything since I was bitten. It might be because I’m that creature for the short term. I haven’t learned to control it yet, no one was kind enough to show me. Oh wait, the only werewolf that I know and trust is Remus and I told him the news just today.”

“But you told me that you hear my heart beating... It’s one of your abilities, right? ” He asked curiously.

“Yeah, it is. See, I either don’t know how to do things or they’re out of my control. I can smell like everything in this corridor right now, and trust me, when it’s mixed, it’s awful. I told you, I hear not only you, but even what’s happening in the charms classroom that is in front of us,” you took a deep breath, trying to gather your wits,

“I also see the flying lessons from that window and I can recall every face of the students that are now attending that lesson. The problem is, that I don’t want to. This information is totally not needed by me, but I can’t control it.”

“I can’t decide yet what I want to smell or hear… it’s really hard. That’s why I couldn’t answer you when you asked me on a date. I heard your heart, and it caused my headache, that’s why my friend took the lead and talked with you that day.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! Now that I know what was happening, I can relax. Should I say sorry for the sound of my heart? I didn’t want to…”

“It’s okay.” You interjected, comforting him, while it’s you who needed the comfort. “It’s not that bad, since you consider us soulmates, me, remembering how your heart beat sounds, it’s quite romantic.” You smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact.

“Can I?” George started, but took a break, wishing that you know what he has in his mind. You didn’t, so you stared at him with interest. “Can I listen to your heart? I wish I could remember yours too.”

You nodded at him, but the boy was too awkward to start this. You took his hand, leading it slowly to your chest, getting out of your comfort zone.

“You know, maybe you should rest your head on me. It won’t look as weird as you're almost touching my breasts. ” You started laughing, wondering if you’re taking this too far.

“Alright then.” He got a little more confident, doing as you told him so. “And I was hoping that we were going to have sex.”

“And you’re my soulmate?? Man, I would never do it in public. In front of the charms' classroom? What if Flitwick or students… I can’t even say it. You’re something else, Weasley.” You patted him on his head, which was still resting on your arm.

“I was going to tell you something really important. But since you got too cocky, you’re gonna have to wait ‘til our date. ” You started, feeling ready to explain to him about the anchor. You didn’t change your mind, because you will tell him anyway. Since the two of you got way too comfortable around each other, you decided to tease him a little.

“Oh please, don’t leave me hanging on. I can give you… something. ” He tried to convince you, taking some sweets from his pocket.

“No way, I know what you’re giving me. It’s Zonko’s hiccough sweet. Won’t happen. ” You replied, declining his offer. The bell ringing made you realize that the lesson has ended and the two of you should hide or at least make an excuse why didn’t you show up to your classes. Not only for the teachers, but for the friends' curiosity. What were you going to say? It seemed easier to just disappear than explain everything.

“I’m sorry, but Fred is watching us and I think we have something to talk about.” George got up, waving to his brother. “See you tomorrow then? Please, don’t be late” He added, lending you a hand in case you wanted to stand up, but you kindly declined it, deciding to sit for a little longer.

“Where were you? I was freaking out until I noticed that George was also absent. Good for you that it’s the transfiguration you had missed, not potions. Snape would kill you, or make you clean his class. Now, tell me what happened. In detail, please. ” She begged you, making you sigh at that statement, knowing that you two will probably miss another lesson, talking about your new friend, or, more like, soulmate?

—

The date was about to begin in 30 minutes, you were sitting calmly in your dorm, listening to your friend’s rambling.

“What do you mean by saying that you have ‘a lot of time’? Is thirty minutes a lot? You aren’t ready at all! At least change your shirt.”

“Well, I wanted to dress up. Then I started thinking if I should wear something casual, since it’s just Friday night, and we’re staying in school, or should I wear something elegant, to make this date more serious. Next I had a little panic attack for the same reason. Finally, I decided that I’m not gonna dress up. Too much pressure.”

“So you’re going in the same clothes that you were wearing for the whole day?” She asked you, wishing you’ll decide to change.

“Yeah, I don’t want to make it official. We’ll see what is going to happen.”

“At least brush your teeth for Merlin’s sake! I bet this boy is ready for something more than listening to your heart. ” She joked, making you terrified.

“Damn, what if he really does? What If I won’t be able to control myself and change into a werewolf? That would be so humiliating.”

“No! I’m sorry, don’t panic. I think he’ll be excited to see you in that way. You mentioned that he was very cool about that. ” She tried to calm you.

“No, you don’t understand. I can’t control myself. What If I harm him? I don’t want to... If something like that happens, then for sure he won’t keep in touch with me. ” You said, pacing around the dorm to not freak out.

“Oh trust me, this boy is weird. And he likes taking risks. I bet that he will laugh about it and get excited. ” She summed it up, wishing that it might cheer me up.

Because of her, you finally decided to get up and change clothes. You still wanted to be comfortable, hoping that casual clothes would fit in that situation, whatever it may be that George has planned.

After saying goodbye to your friend, you found yourself in the corridors, walking slowly, focusing on breathing slowly. There’s no need to worry, right?

A couple of minutes later you noticed George, standing in front of the Great Hall, just as he said to you earlier, leaning against the wall. He was looking down at the floor, bouncing his head, probably to the song that he couldn’t get rid of. You did not want to interrupt, enjoying the view from afar, but you knew you had no choice.

“Stressed?” You asked him, watching as his eyes slowly looked upon you. “Not any longer. You came. ” He smirked, asking for permission to take my hand. “Why wouldn’t I? Yesterday was fun. ” You admitted, being curious where the two of you are heading to.

Before you realized you were outside of Hogwarts, George led you to the location where everything was prepared. You couldn’t help but wonder what he has in his mind. Is he worried that you may not like that? Is he excited to show you? Is it still a date or just a friendly meeting?

Seconds later the view was starting to get familiar the Black Lake was for sure mesmerizing, but what amazed you more was a huge, colorful blanket with so much food on it.

“Did you make it?” You asked, noticing that a flower crown was also laying on the blanket. “Which charm did you use?” The boy flushed at this question, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh, I didn’t use any charm. I got anxious after everything was prepared, so I had to get my hands busy. We were making flower crowns when Ginny was little, so I was worried that I might not do it properly, because it was long ago, but I’m actually proud of that one. ” George explained everything to you, starting to gain his confidence back, seeing that you liked what he had done. He helped you put it on your head, and then you sat down, looking at swans swimming in the lake.

“Do you think that we will eat everything? It looks like a feast for the whole school, or at least for one of the houses. ” The food in front of you was disappearing very, very slowly. Although George was eating all the time, the blanket was still full of all kinds of food. At first, you weren’t eager to try this food, knowing that George might have done something with it, but when he reached for the snacks, you followed his actions.

Talking with him was really pleasant, you felt weirdly comfortable around him, but still the anchor thing was haunting you. Sometimes you couldn’t focus, thinking how are you going to explain it to him. It wasn’t that hard to make words come out of your mouth. What worried you was the commitment. Do you have to be his girlfriend immediately after that confession? Does that strengthen the bond between you two? Or will it mean nothing to him?

You could admit that you liked him. A lot. But those words sounded like you expected him to be more than your friend, and you did not want to rush things. Maybe you’ll consider telling it to him after the date? Depends on if it’s going to be good or end awkwardly?

You decided to brush it off, asking out of nowhere.

“George, what’s like to prank people? Do you feel excited or embarrassed while making them?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never pranked someone.” He said seriously, but seeing your face made him realize that you weren’t joking as well.

“No way. We have to prank someone together. Get up. Plans are changed.” He ordered, making sure that you do what he told you to, and then throwing the spell that made the blanket disappear.

“Did someone get under your skin lately?” Weasley said, probably having the plan already made in his head.

“Filch is yelling at me every day. Apparently Mr. Norris is not fond of my Kneazle.”

“And you’re letting him treat you like that? We gotta do something.”

Going back to Hogwarts was quick and exciting. You never pranked anyone but you heard a lot of stories about the twins doing it, and having a chance to make it with one of them next to you, made you hope that it’s going to be fun. George decided that you’re gonna make a potion that will make Filch speak nonsense, it is Babbling Beverage.

To do this, you had to sneak into the potions classroom, which wasn’t the easiest task, but definitely the interesting one.

Joking with Weasley was really easy, this boy was a comedian. Spending time with him opened your eyes, that not everything has to be taken seriously in life. He could make fun of anything, yet you felt comfortable with him, because he knew when he should stop.

Collecting all the things needed to brew this potion created a silence between you two, because you focused on the responsibility to make it perfect. Considering the fact that neither of you were good in potions, doing all of this was a challenge. But you knew it was worth it. For all the things Filch said to you, offending you every day, you waited for the sweet, sweet revenge.

Finally, feeling ready, you broke the silence.

“George, I have to say something. Please don’t make fun of me.”

“No worries darling. I literally came to you and asked you out even though we didn’t talk much. If you didn’t make fun of me, then I won’t do it to you.” He admitted, taking the ladle out of your hands.

“How much do you know about werewolves?” You started slowly, not wanting to get to the point so quickly.

“Not much. Just that you and Remus are the ones. And that something happens when there’s a full moon. Do you want to say that I should learn more? Because I could do that for you. ” He replied, like it wasn’t a big thing, but it made you smile wide.

“Oh, you don’t have to.” You said, not wanting to put the pressure on him. “You know, there’s a thing called an Anchor.” You started, taking a deep breath to think what you should say.

“And what’s that?” He asked out of curiosity, wishing that you could explain everything now, because he hated living with the unawareness. “You can trust me.” He added, taking your palm in his and rubbing it slowly with his thumb.

“I don’t know how to say this. I’m nervous. It... it’s a thing, or a person... actually, it is a person, who can calm the werewolf. They don’t have to be next to the creature, just the thought of them makes the werewolf control everything, making them able to not transform into the beast... you know. ” You started messing up the words, feeling incredibly stressed, and the fact that George was staring deep in your eyes, didn’t help you at all.

“Sorry to bother you, but we have to wait one hour for this ingredient to get warmer. We can sit in the storeroom then.” He took off his jacket, putting it on the floor to make the place a bit more cozy.

You sat next to him, staying silent, knowing that when he interrupted you, it could mean that he’s not interested in the werewolf things. “What you said about the anchor... I think it’s pretty romantic. But why did you mention it to me?”

“Don’t make me say it Weasley. I really don’t want to. I don’t even think I can. ” You tried to make it obvious that it’s him, but he clearly wanted you to admit it out loud.

“No way, is it Snape? That’s why we’re sitting here? Or is it Filch? And you want to show him the affection through the pranks? You're a weirdo, Y/N.” He laughed.

“And you clearly don’t know what I have in mind.” You said, getting the confidence you gained lately.

“Do you mean you’re going to change tonight? Should I run? Or try to keep you calm? ” He was asking.

“If someone’s going to be that dumb, I might harm him. Just in case. ” You tried to tease him back, not wanting to say those words.

“Can I kiss you? These threats sound so hot when it comes out of your mouth. ” He asked, so you nodded quietly, watching as he was leaning closer. “Just don’t bite me, or do it. I would be the best werewolf, and the most handsome one. ” He whispered between the kisses.

“Your heart is so freaking loud. Maybe we should stop, we don’t want you to die or have a heart attack. ” You replied, showing that you care.

“We don’t? I didn’t know that. Also, I thought that you can’t hear it anymore. Since I am your anchor, and all you do right now is think of me...” he said confidently, admitting the things you were scared to say.

“Glad you finally understood. But it doesn’t work like that...” You were eager to explain everything once more, yet George had the courage to interrupt you again.

“Shh, we will have the time for talking. I’m now stuck with you forever, to be your Prince Charming and hero when you won’t be able to control yourself. But you are able now, and the night is long…”

“Don’t be so sure.” You interjected, moving closer and deciding to sit on him.

As George said, the night was long. The two of you forgot about the potion you were making, focusing on something else.

The worst thing was how easy the two of you fell asleep.

Snape seeing you that morning, sleeping, covered with your robes, was quite surprised. And furious. He yelled at you, making you wake up, not knowing where you are and what you were doing last night.

It was obvious that he’s going to serve detention for you.

But what could possibly go wrong, now that you have your anchor beside you?

tagging some people: @weasleysandwheezes @nerdyblogger06 @georgeweasley-whore @georgeweasleysbabe @asimpfortheweasleys

join my 100 followers sleepover

#harry potter #george weasley #george weasley x reader #George weasley fanfic #george weasley imagine #george weasley fic #george weasley fluff #please interact #please reblog

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twopoppies · 4 years ago

Note

Ok, I’m gonna ask something and I really really hope where I’m coming from translates because I know how this can look.

I’m asking this question because I often ask it to myself, and I don’t know that I have an answer to it, but I’m young and new and I see you as a fandom auntie imparting your wisdom so maybe you can help me? I’m in my head a lot, all the time.

What would it take for you to go “alright that’s it, there is no Larry/they’re not together anymore”? I know, I know this question is shady. I’ve seen it thrown around a bunch of times in the year I’ve been a fan and it always gets a snarky response (which I totally get because I don’t think it comes from a genuine place). But as I said, I keep asking it to myself and when that happens I get a little frantic. Does that make sense? Like, it kind of gives me anxiety to think about that.

I keep wondering, if 5 more years go by and Freddie is still around... how would I feel? I don’t THINK that’s gonna happen, but then again, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight and he’s already 5, so who the fuck knows, you know? Would I be a firm believer on what I believe if I saw an 8, a 10 year old kid talk about Louis as his dad? I don’t have an answer... and it scares me, because it makes me feel delusional and I know I’m not.

What would happen if Louis and Eleanor got married? Do I think it will happen? No... but I mean, I also didn’t think they’d survive this long. When I first came into the fandom everyone was saying they’d break up soon and it’s been a year. How would I cope if that happened? If they had a kid? Would I patiently wait for it to be revealed that things aren’t as they seem? Would I give up?

What if Harry and Olivia become more serious? What if they date for years and he takes her to events or talks about her? Like, I know, I KNOW he’s never done it before, but I also know that he has never called any of his stunts “my ex girlfriend” before Camille, and he even included her voice in a song... so like, do we REALLY know? He hadn’t held hands with one of his stunts since Taylor, and he’d never taken them as plus ones to anything. He seems to be actively participating a lot more than with Camille. I did my research, they were seen together far less and mostly maintained it by her going to his concerts. Idk it just seems that he was so low key with stunts in the past and instead of taking steps to maybe come out, he’s taking steps to make his relationships look more serious. He “dated” those women for a couple of months tops, now he’s stuck in long “relationships” that have to involve his family and idk it kinda sucks. What’s the guarantee they won’t take it a step further? How would I react if they did?

These things are in my head constantly and I don’t know what to think. What WOULD I do? Would I get fed up and leave the fandom, regardless of what I believed? So many people have done that but I can’t see myself not supporting H&L, they feel like such an important part of my life.

God, I’m sorry for how long this was and how annoying it must be. I guess I just need a little guidance.

Hi sugar. Wow... there’s lots going on here and I don’t think I can actually address everything you’re asking. So, let me start by saying that I don’t have a set “if this happens, I’m out” line in the sand. For me, I imagine I’ll leave when fandom is no longer fun for me, but I don’t think longevity or mutation of the stunts would necessarily be the final straw.

The thing is, for those of us who’ve been here since the band was together, we saw how different Harry and Louis’ attitude was towards their closeting. They actively fought against it. Loudly. Somewhere along the way, after the hiatus, things seem to have shifted a bit. Not that they want to be closeted, but it feels as though they might have a different perspective on it these days.

So, I guess the question could be... do they want to come out anytime soon? And I really don’t know. Louis has barely gotten his solo career off the ground. Harry is doing extremely well with his extremely frustrating fence straddling. Would coming out soon hurt their career goals? I think babygate is an entirely separate issue and regardless of anything else, that just isn’t sustainable. There’s too much that’s shady there for me to ever think he had a baby with her. And I just can’t see the family agreeing to continuously lie to their child for an open ended amount of time now that he’s really old enough to understand. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t put anything past them, but that seems insane.

So if they’re not ready to make that big change, stunts could look different than they used to. Camille staying for a year and Eleanor coming back made it possible for each of them to write an album that included songs about long term love, and allowed them to talk about it during promo with as much honesty as they wanted/were able to share. Not everything has changed for the worse.

When I try to look at the situation from their POV, and assume that they have a bit more power than they did pre-hiatus, I feel less anxious about things. But more than anything, I think what helps is to remember that this is their lives. They know what’s best for them. We might not like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re suffering or that you’re wrong about your assumptions about them. If you’re here to support them, then I think all you can do is just support them and remove any time frames and specific expectations. If it gets in the way of your mental health, please take a break. Fandom will still be here. I have good friends who are still ride or die Larries, but they just can’t handle being here right now.

Lastly, it sounds as though asking yourself these “what would I do” questions is a form of future worrying that is actually causing you some real anxiety. There really isn’t a point in wondering how you would react to something that may never happen. It won’t keep it from happening, but it is keeping you from enjoying where you are now.

I know this got long, but I hope there’s something helpful there. 💗

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shelovescontrol91 · 3 years ago

Link

Between a starring role in Cinderella, live performances, and a forthcoming album, it would appear things are business as usual for Camila Cabello. But there’s a difference: Before the pandemic her work was leaving her drained, anxious, and insecure. Now she’s found a way to be a pop star on her own terms, and everything—from the music to her relationship with her body—has fallen into place.

By mid-September, Camila Cabello was feeling burnt out. In the span of three days she had performed at the MTV Video Music Awards, attended the Met gala with boyfriend Shawn Mendes, and shot the first-ever global cover for Glamour. So when she finally returned home to Miami, rest wasn’t just desired—it was essential.

But rehearsals for New York’s Global Citizen Festival loomed. Before jumping back into pop star mode, Cabello put on a yellow bikini and headed to the beach for two hours of blissfully uninterrupted downtime. She sank into a chair and cracked open a book, her favorite pastime. The salty air enveloped her; waves crashed in the distance. This is why she lives in Miami, her hometown, as opposed to a showbiz hub like Los Angeles: more privacy.

Or so she thought. Somehow the paparazzi found out where she was for those 120 minutes. She didn’t see them at first, but there they were, snapping away.

“I didn’t consent to those pictures,” she tells me over Zoom, camera off as she drives in Miami. (At one point she says to someone on the road, “Why are you honking at me, bro?”) “I got my period on the beach. I’m in a bikini and on my period, so I don’t know if I have a fucking period stain and that’s going to be everywhere. I didn’t sign up for anybody to be taking pictures of me in a bikini.”

Cabello has developed methods for dealing with invasive situations like this. She’s had to. The 24-year-old—born in Cuba, raised in Miami—has been in the public eye since 2012, when she competed on The X-Factor. She auditioned as a solo artist but was later matched with four other girls to form the pop group Fifth Harmony. They released two albums before Cabello embarked on her own—and achieved mind-boggling fame. Her singles “Havana” and “Señorita” (with Mendes) topped the charts worldwide. She’s earned three Grammy nominations, become a face of L’Oréal, and tried her hand at not just acting but starring in a feature film: this year’s Cinderella remake on Amazon Prime. Her third studio album, Familia, is due out later this year.

By all accounts it’s a lot. Careerwise it’s the closest things have felt to prepandemic times, when she was working constantly, arguably to an exhausting degree. As COVID-19 shutdowns went into effect last March, Cabello was able to realize just how tired she was.

“I by no means am trying to complain,” she says, “but it was such a thing of, ‘I have to get onstage tomorrow and I’m performing at this big thing,’ or whatever. ‘I want to do a good job. How do I do that when I feel nervous?’ I did this without being like, ‘Am I even happy right now? Do I even feel healthy?’ I didn’t have the space to ask myself those questions. I’m still working a ton now, but after quarantine I’m able to be like, ‘You know what? Right now I’m just not happy. I need to change something.’”

Therapy helped her see the changes she needed to make. Cabello tells me she’d experimented with therapy before the pandemic, but it was always situation focused—quick fixes to help her tackle the next performance or songwriting session. But with time at home, she dug deeper: “Because I wasn’t stressed about all the things I needed to do the next day, I was able to slow down and have enough stability to look at my stuff.”

Cabello doesn’t expand on what that “stuff” is. She does, however, explain why she decided to switch therapists as her internal work continued. “I wasn’t feeling like I was progressing in the areas I wanted to progress,” she says. “But when I switched, I found I was able to apply what they said in a way that benefited my mental health.”

One lesson she’s learned is the power of saying no. Two hit albums under her belt give Cabello the freedom to do things her way. Now she always has one day off a week, minimum. And when time came to start work on Familia, she forwent the standard pop music factory for a more intimate approach. The new album was made with just a handful of collaborators she could be open with. If Cabello was feeling anxious or nervous in a session, she had the space to address it. As a result, she says, it’s her best work yet.

“It’s the most grounded and calm I’ve ever been making an album,” she says. “I worked with people I wanted to have dinner with, and I was like, ‘I’m not going to write every single day for months, but write a few days a week and have time to gather experiences and be a human being.’”

Shawn Mendes is one of the people she’s gathering experiences with. The two singers confirmed their relationship in September 2019, and they’ve been tabloid magnets ever since. Everything from their laughably slow pandemic walks to their kissing style is dissected with a fine-tooth comb. A clip of them getting ready for the Met gala went instantly viral.

Cabello tells me she and Mendes try to avoid the social media chatter about their relationship, but it inevitably seeps in. “When stuff that’s negative is out there, it’s going to get to you,” she says. “So yeah, that’s very, very challenging. I feel like it’s another thing therapy has been really helpful for.”

Mendes goes to therapy too. While Cabello says she and Mendes haven’t done couples therapy—though she’d be open to it—they very much work on their mental health together.

“For better, for worse, we’re very transparent with each other. I think that’s why we can trust each other so much, because it’s a very 3D human relationship,” she says. “I’ll be venting or ranting about something, and he’ll be like, ‘Have you talked to X about it?’ And I’ll be like, ‘No. I’ve got to do a session.’ And he’ll do the same thing to me. I think even just the language of being like, ‘Hey, I’m sorry that I’ve been distant with you or snappy with you. I’m just struggling and I’m feeling kind of anxious.’ That level of transparency really helps a lot.”

Mendes echoes Cabello’s thoughts. “Camila and I give each other an extreme amount of patience and understanding,” he tells me via email. “I think the truth is that when you’re struggling with mental health, it turns you sometimes into the version of yourself that you don’t like to be—and kind of loving and accepting your person through that, and being there for them through that, is life-changing. We give each other so much space and understanding and patience.”

A behind-the-scenes VMAs story perfectly illustrates this. When Cabello was nervous meeting new people at an after-party, she caught herself leaning on a habit she’s trying to break. Mendes helped her through it.

“I have this pattern of eating a lot when I’m anxious or uncomfortable,” she says. “It’s a comfort thing for me. I’ll just kind of become unconscious and zombie-eat a lot, and then I’ll feel sick. I’ve told Shawn about that. So at the VMAs party, I was like, ‘I’m doing it.’ And he was like, ‘It’s okay. You’re doing it. That’s okay. Let’s just take a breath and not do that.’ It’s really good for me to be able to talk about my patterns with someone.”

Food and body image are two things that have really been on Cabello’s mind this year. A July TikTok she posted shutting down body-shamers racked up 4.8 million likes. “Being at war with your body is so last season,” she says in the video, which she posted after photos of her running in Los Angeles made the rounds online.

That mantra is true, sure, but it’s easier said than done. Even Cabello has difficulty following it. She braced herself for what she might feel when those aforementioned bikini pics went live: “I need to work out. I need to eat better.” “Not that those things are bad,” she says. “But maybe I wouldn’t think about them as much if there weren’t people taking pictures of me.”

It’s not just the paparazzi who ignite moments of self-doubt. Cabello tells me about a time she was exercising with her trainer, Jenna Willis—who’s great, she says—and feeling insecure. “She’s the same height as me, and I was kind of comparing myself to her, because she is a lot skinnier than I am,” she recalls. “I was just like, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been working out and I look better, right? I look better, right?’”

It’s Willis who helped silence those voices in Cabello’s head, reminding her that how she feels is more important than appearances; that life is about balance and enjoying food. These are health philosophies we’ve all heard—but when you’re Camila Cabello and millions are picking apart your beach photos, it’s hard to tune out the noise. Now when she’s feeling down on herself, she just turns her phone off and goes outside.

“When I’m having negative thoughts about my body, that’s actually when I’ll want to binge-eat cookies, and then I have a stomachache,” she says. “It’s this weird psychology: The more I love my body, the more I actually want to take care of it…. As long as I’m healthy and working out and feel good, that’s the best I can do. There’s no point in trying to have another kind of body.”

By this point in our conversation, Cabello’s made it to her destination. When I ask if she’ll have time to chill and decompress, she says, “To be honest, not yet, but I will after this weekend.” There’s a calmness in her voice when she says this—a stillness, a readiness. She seems perfectly prepared for what lies ahead: album promo, performances, and undoubtedly more scrutiny about her body, her relationship, her everything. But she’ll be fine, because just around the corner is a day off. That’s nonnegotiable.

“It’s important to be on top of not just what’s making you sad or anxious, but also what’s giving you joy,” she says. “I want to be happy and enjoy my life. That’s kind of it.”

#camila cabello #shawn mendes #shawmila

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cherrybracelets · 4 years ago

Text

Freefall

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

word count: 15.3k | warnings: smut!!!! alcohol mention, murder mention, rape mention, lots of typical cm violence!

inspired by: its called freefall by rainbow kitten surprise (i highly recommend listening to this song before or during reading!)

Anyway, you say you’re too busy saving everybody else to save yourself / And you don’t want no help, oh well / That’s the story to tell

ok i have put my blood sweat and tears in this lamfkndksjfj this has been my wip for almost 3 weeks this is my entry for @veraiconcos fic challenge!! her prompt fit so perfectly with this fic so i am so excited to share it with you guys. this is by far my most challenging piece and the one i worked the longest on. i really hope you all love it, feedback is much appreciate. i am tagging some moots to signal boost this, i hope u dont mind

Aaron-

This woman killed my dad. They said you’d be able to help. Please find her.

Aaron ran his fingertips over the letter one more time, feeling the depth of the pen, the engravement of each letter into the crisp stationary. He reread the words for a thousandth time, wondering if this time he could discover who actually sent the letter. But unfortunately, just like the past times, there was nothing to indicate who the sender was. The only other thing in the picture was a photograph of a young woman, the person Aaron believed was the murderer. Her face was mostly covered, and he was almost certain the short black bob that sat on her head was a wig. There was nothing about the photo that would help identify her, but on the back of the photo was a date- May 7th 2020, and a city, Sante Fe, NM.

He continued to stare at it, hoping some new information would pop out at him this time. But there was nothing, and he knew if he wanted to find whoever was responsible for this crime, he would need to involve the team. Whoever sent this clearly only wanted Aaron involved, even addressing him personally as Aaron and not Agent Hotchner.. Who could this person be? And who sent him Aaron’s way?

“You’re here early,” JJ hesitated, walking through the doors of the BAU to begin her day.

“Yeah… I’ve got kind of a… thing?” Aaron stammered over his words, trying to decide how he should go about this.

“What’s going on, Hotch?”

“Come take a look at this. It was on my desk yesterday.” Hotch waved JJ over to him, holding the letter tightly in hands. He handed it to her hesitantly, still not feeling comfortable sharing with the rest of the team. It could be a prank, a practical joke, somebody just trying to waste his time. But how did it find it’s way onto his desk? Who would be messing with him like this?

“Was there an envelope?” JJ asked, staring at the words on the paper.

“Yes, addressed to me, but no return address. It seems like it was hand delivered.”

“The handwriting looks like a teenagers, how would he have made it all the way from New Mexico?”

“Maybe somebody else delivered it?”

Aaron and JJ’s attention was quickly taken away when Spencer and Derek walked through the doors, their loud voices cracking through the quiet air of the BAU. They were arguing about something pointless, as they usually did. Aaron felt his head throbbing as the day started to begin, unsure of how much longer he’d be able to make it without some strong coffee.

“JJ, keep this between us for now. I’ll bring it to Garcia, see if she can find anything worth investigating. I don’t want to bring it to the team unless I’m sure we have a case.”

“Understood.” JJ smiled kindly at him, a look he was all too familiar with. Ever since Haley died, it felt like everyone was constantly walking on eggshells around him. Everyone felt bad, and they did whatever he asked without complaint. From a boss standpoint, it was nice, not having to argue your decisions to your team. But, they were more than his team. They were his friends, and he felt he lost them the same day he lost Haley.

Aaron greeted Spencer and Derek quickly, not wanting to get pulled into whatever discussion they were having. He was holding onto the letter tightly, afraid of losing it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he just had a feeling about it. Like he had stumbled onto something huge, and whatever Garcia could find out would lead them to something unbelievable.

“Hey, Garcia. Any chance I could have you work on something… private, for now?” Aaron stood in the doorway of her office, all of the bright screens making him wince. His headache was only getting worse as the day went on.

“Of course, sir. Is everything okay?” She looked worried, for sure hoping that whatever secret task she was performing for him had nothing to do with Haley. Although he knew she would never say anything, he could tell she was worried about him.

“I need you to check deaths in Santa Fe, NM from May 5th - May 9th. Specifically look for men with teenage sons.”

“Just homicides?”

“No, any deaths. And see if you find anything suspicious.”

“Alright…” Penelope said, furrowing her brows in confusion. “It might take a bit. Santa Fe’s a big city.”

“Just get back to me when you can, Garcia.” Aaron smiled slightly at the technical analyst, before leaving quietly. His head was begging him for caffeine, or Advil, or a drink, even though it was barely 9 in the morning.

He walked quietly back to his office, not talking to any of his team, closing the door behind him as he got inside. There was a sick feeling in his stomach, most likely caused by the cigarette he snuck this morning on an empty stomach. He paced uncomfortably, dry swallowing an Advil he found in the back of his desk drawer. He knew it would take Garcia a while

to get his information, but he was feeling exceptionally frustrated and impatient. He started to walk towards the door, feeling the need to to pester his analyst to work quicker, but as he opened it, JJ stood pleasantly in the door.

“We got a case, boss,” she smiled, waving an envelope in the air.

“Alright, let’s get to the conference room.” Aaron closed the door to office, following his Agent into the annex. He felt sick as he took his seat, not ready for whatever horror was about to be presented. Some days he felt like giving up, like throwing in the towel. He has given this job everything he had, and what did he get in return?

+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-+:-+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+

Aaron and the team left an hour later for their newest destination, solving the case within 3 days. They were headed back to DC on the jet when he got a call from Garcia. It was rare she would call him personally if they were not working a case, so he knew it must’ve been about the letter. He waited a moment before answering, anxious about what her news could be. What if she found nothing, and this was the end of the line?

“Hello, sir. I wanted to call as soon as I could.” She sounded nervous, a tone of confusion in her voice.

“What’s going on, Garcia?”

“Well, it’s about the letter. I found something… interesting.”

“Do you think we could have a case?”

“It’s a high possibility, sir.”

“Alright. Can you patch into the computer and share with the team. I’d like to bring them in on this as well.”

“Sounds good, see you in a moment.”

Aaron hung the phone up, walking back to the main part of the jet and back to the rest of the team. They were spread out, all enjoying the calming feeling of a solved case. Spencer and JJ were sleeping, Emily and Derek both with headphones in and Rossi reading a book. He hated to bother them, hated to disturb their peace they all deserved. But that was the job- there was no peace. They all had to endure constant chaos so that innocent people didn’t have to.

Aaron turned on the lights of the jet, alarming his team and causing several groans of frustration.

“What’s going on, Hotch?” Emily asked in desperation, her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light.

“I’m sorry to bother everyone, but I think we might have a new case.” Aaron looked around the room, slowly watching the faces of his friends change from their relaxed state to the intensity of a profiler.

“Is this about… the thing from a few days ago?” JJ asked quietly, not wanting to bring it up if it wasn’t the case.

“The letter, yes.”

“Hello, my sleepy friends. I am sorry to bother you, but I have stumbled across something interesting that I believe requires your attention. Uh, Hotch… would you like to…” she trailed off, looking around for her superior to explain how they ended up here.

“I received a letter a few days ago… someone asking us to look into the death of their father. It was anonymous, there was a picture along with it but it still wasn’t enough to do much on my own. So, I handed over what I had to Garcia and…” Aaron trailed off, realizing now he hadn’t even asked Penelope what she got before bringing the rest of the team in.

“I guess that’s where I come in. So, as per our humble leader, I searched for deaths of men on the given dates with teenage sons, and as I expected, that list was quite large.”

“Why teenage sons?” Derek asked, still trying to fill in the gaps of information.

“The letter was clearly written by a young boy, no older than 16 was my guess,” JJ added, explaining her conclusion to the team.

“Garcia, were you able to narrow down the list?” Aaron asked, desperately wanting to know what she found.

“Well, I got rid of anyone whose death was expected. People who were sick or in the hospital, with underlying medical conditions, et cetera et cetera. Once we narrowed it down to deaths that were true accidents, I had a list of three.”

“How do we know this isn’t just a prank?” Rossi asked. It was a fair question, a question he frequently asked himself as well.

“Ah, well, if it was a prank I wouldn’t have found out what I did…”

“That looks like the face of someone who’s about to tell me I’m not going home tonight,” Derek laughed, turning to Emily, who rolled her eyes.

“Unfortunately it does seem like there’s a case here. One of the men that I flagged as ‘Could Be A Murder Victim’ has a… bad past.” One thing that Aaron always admired about Penelope is how she always managed to speak with such lightness, no matter how heavy the content of her words. “42-year old Derek Hood was killed on May 7th, ruled as an accidental drug overdose. There was some chatter that it may have been suicide, but there was no note and the family insisted he wouldn’t have killed himself.”

“So what makes you think it was murder?” Spencer asked.

“Alright, get this. Our man Jason was on trial two years ago for the rape of three different 16 year old girls. It was declared a mistrial, unfortunately, after all three of the girls refused to testify at his trial.”

“Is it possible he threatened them? This could be a revenge killing, if that was the case,” Emily added.

“Ah, I thought that too, my friend. But all three of the girls are now in college and far, far away from Sante Fe. So, that was kind of a dead end.”

“What about the parents?” Aaron questioned.

“We think alike, sir. All three of their families still reside in Santa Fe, and three weeks before Jason’s death, all three couples withdrew $15,000 cash from their banks. One family stated it was for a pool, the other for a car, and the last family stated it was for bathroom renovations.”

“Were any of those projects completed, Garcia?”

“To the best of my knowledge, no.”

“So this is what I think it is, then,” Rossi asked, looking up towards Aaron for confirmation.

“It’s most likely a hitman, yes.” Aaron looked around at his team, a feeling of worry drowning him. Hitmen were exceptionally dangerous, and so were the routes to get to them. It was an extremely well protected underground business, and the chances of catching one successfully, with no one hurt, were very slim.

“Wait, but our unsub is a woman. The photo very clearly showed a female, and even in the letter, the boy addresses her as ‘This woman.’”

“Could we see the picture, Garcia?” Aaron asked, staring at the monitor as he awaited the photo.

“Maybe they’re dressing as a woman to distract any possible witnesses?” Rossi added. The photo then popped up on the monitor, the same hidden person that was ingrained in Aaron’s brain. He couldn’t forget her, her shielded face, cheap wig, perfect body…

“That is definitely a woman, guys. You can’t fake that body…” Derek laughed, causing a wave of eye rolls and a slight shove of disgust from Emily.

“A female hitman… that is exceptionally rare.”

“Maybe she’s killing for justice? I mean, Jason was a piece of shit. And he somehow got away with his crimes, maybe this is punishment,” Derek added, always the first to try to come up with some sort of explanation.

“Why would she charge the parents almost fifty grand, though? That clearly makes it about money,” Emily rebutted.

“Garcia, is there any way we can find out who they gave that money too?” Aaron asked, hoping for a quick and easy answer, but he knew nothing was easy at this job.

“Since they took it out in cash, there’s no way to trace it, sir.”

“We’ll need to talk to the parents.”

“They won’t say anything, you know how that goes,” JJ said.

“We’ll target one of them, whichever is the most unstable. Promise them immunity. That usually works in situations like this.” Aaron looked at the team, noticing how tired they were. He knew how bad they needed to go home, sleep in their own beds, wash their hair with something other than hotel shampoo. But this was big, he could feel it. And they probably did, as well. It was their life, they were all aware of how crazy this career path could be. But, just because he knew that, it didn't make it any easier on Aaron when he had to push them to their limit. “We need to turn the plane around to Santa Fe. If this person is local, it’s best that we’re on the scene.”

“Can we at least stop home so I can get some new clothes?” JJ groaned, looking at the team in desperation for support.

“Fine. Can we be back in the air in two hours?”

“We can make that work,” Spencer agreed.

“Alright. Thanks, guys.”

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Santa Fe was hot. The kind of hot that made it impossible to breathe, and your clothes felt like they had melted into your skin. Aaron could feel his skin on fire, burning hotter and hotter as he stood under the desert sun. Emily stood next to him, glistening in a thin layer of sweat. The two of them stared closely at a house across the street, taking in every detail.

“You ready?” Emily asked, her voice cracking through the quiet air like a whip.

“Uh… yeah,” Aaron stuttered, his brain feeling off. He had a feeling whoever this person was, she wasn’t in Sante Fe. This was a big operation that they had stumbled upon, and he had a bad feeling about the way it would end up.

Aaron followed Emily to the door, feeling exceptionally guilty as they entered the front yard of a family whose lives had been destroyed- and all they were there to do was destroy them further. He knew they only did what they did to avenge their daughter- and he understood. Sometimes he wondered if he should’ve done the same thing with Foyet.

“Are you alright, Hotch? I don’t mean to overstep, but you don’t seem like yourself,” Emily questioned, stopping in her tracks before they made their presence known to the family.

“Just have a bad feeling about this one, I guess,” he responded, rubbing his head with his thumb and forefinger. “Let’s get this over with…”

“Aye aye, sir.”

The two of them walked to the front door of the small house, knocking slightly quietly on the white painted wood of the door. An older man opened the door, immediately tensing up as he saw the two of them. They looked like Agents- or at the very least, local detectives, and the man was pretty quick to understand why they were there.

“Are you Bradley Mathis?” Emily asked, standing a few inches in front of Aaron, clearly trying to take the lead on this. It was probably for the best, since his head was not on right today. In all honesty, his head hadn’t been on right since Foyet.

“Who are you?” Bradley asked defensively, crossing his arms across his chest and backing away from the door.

“Mr. Mathis, I want to assure you that if you cooperate with us, there will be no trouble. We understand you did everything to protect your daughter, and we aren’t looking for trouble. We just want to find the person who did this for you.” As Aaron spoke, he realized how scary this must be for him. His daughter was brutally attacked, they found the man that hurt her, and then he threatened her into silence so he could walk free. If it had happened to Aaron’s kid, he would’ve killed the son of a bitch with his own bare hands.

“You promise me nothing will happen to me?” He asked defensively, his eyes darting nervously across the room.

“I never met her, okay. I swear,” he responded in relief, as if he’d been waiting for the moment he could finally tell somebody. It was exhausting caring around those kinds of secrets. “I got her info from a friend. You go to the website, submit your claim, and she’ll send an assistant out to decide if she’ll take you on as a client. If she decides to help you, you’ll give half the money up front, and half upon proof of… death,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he spoke the words.

“That’s pretty standard practice for what she is…” Emily added.

“How did you find her website?” Aaron asked, wanting to leave this man in peace as quickly as possible.

“There’s some… tricks to finding her. Give me one second,” he said, turning around quickly and darting to another room. Emily reached for her gun defensively, but Aaron put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

“He won’t run.”

“How do you know? He has every reason to dart.”

“I just know. He’ll be back. Trust me.” Aaron looked to his Agent, kindly suggesting but also ordering her to relax. She nodded, crossing her arms as the pair waited for Bradley. As Aaron suspected, he came back a few minutes later with a beat up piece of paper.

“Someone I know from the support group gave me this. It’s how to contact her.” He handed them a brochure that was in pretty bad shape, but still legible enough to understand where to go. From the outside, it looked like a brochure for a dental surgery. But there were certain words highlighted, most likely by whoever gave Bradley this in the first place. It mapped out clear instructions on how to contact this mystery vigilante.

“That’s all I know. I swear.”

“I believe you,” Aaron responded, noticining the calmness flooding over Bradley’s face as Aaron spoke. “You can never tell anybody this, do you understand?”

Bradley nodded, his mouth glued shut as the reality of the situation finally weighed on him. He noticed the guns holstered to Emily and Aaron’s hips, and quickly shut the door, no goodbye’s needed.

“If she’s sending people to meet potential clients before she meets them, she isn’t local,” Emily put together, shaking her head in shock as the pair walked back to their car.

“No, she’s not. Which means we need to get back on the plane ASAP. Send this over to Garcia, I’ll call the team and tell them to meet us back at the jet.”

“Sounds good.”

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“Hello, angels. Are you ready for all the answers to your prayers?” Garcia’s voice popped through the stiff air of the jet, breaking through the harsh waters like a ray of sunshine.

“Were you able to find her, Garcia?”

“Of course, sir. Our girl is fancy. You need five grand upfront just to meet with her. Her website looks like it was designed for a five star hotel. She is legit.”

“Can we actually find her, Penelope?” Aaron had raised his voice slightly, frustration starting to set in. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted to bring her in and end this.

“Yes, yes. Sorry. Our girl goes by the name Ananke.”

“That’s not very intimidating,” Derek laughed, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair.

“Well, kind of. Ananke is a greek goddess, specifically known as one of the most powerful deity’s to control fate and circumstance. It’s pretty fitting, giving what she does.”

“The only way to meet her is to submit an appointment request, which is easier said than done. She has a legit system, requires a birth certificate, social security number, and a license or passport.”

“And five G’s,” JJ added.

“Can we create fake documents and submit them? Maybe have someone undercover go meet her.”

“I’ll do it. This has been my case from the beginning, I’d like to end it as well,” Aaron said, assuring his team he would finish this.

“I can get everything made up and submitted before you land.”

“Is there any way to figure out where she’s located?”

“Unfortunately not at the moment. I am still digging though, it’s possible I missed something.”

“Thanks, Garcia. We’ll see you soon.”

The team made some more small talk after that, realizing there wasn’t much they could do unless they had a location. Aaron’s head was beginning to throb again, absolute exhaustion overcoming him as he sat down and let himself relax for the first time in days. He missed Jack, he missed the comfort of his own bed, the smell of his cheap laundry detergent. He realized he was digging his nails into his palms, his flesh barely intact as he released his tension.

The rest of his team had broken up into their own conversations, ignoring the crumbling mess that was Aaron Hotchner. He walked to the bathroom quietly, snooping through the cabinets and finding a small bottle of vodka. He downed it quickly, letting the liquor burn the back of his throat and take his mind off of everything else. Even if it was for a moment, the distraction was welcomed, and almost necessary for him to keep going.

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It was two full days- almost forty eight hours exactly- when they finally heard back from Ananke. She had agreed to meet with ‘Zachary Wilson’ who was looking for revenge against the drunk driver that killed his wife. And to the whole team’s surprise, it appeared that she was located in DC. Ananke herself said she would meet him, stating that she was ‘in the area’.

The address she gave them appeared to be a popular nightclub in college town, one that Aaron had unfortunately been dragged to on multiple occasions. The team agreed that Aaron should meet her alone, the team standing outside to come in if necessary. She wanted to meet him on a Friday night, which meant the place would be flooded with innocent civilians. It was safest if they stayed out of it, at first.

By the time Friday rolled around, Aaron had barely eaten in days. He was staying alive on coffee, tylenol, and mini bottles of vodka he could keep in his pockets. Oh, and the occasional cigarette was a necessity as well. He had waited anxiously for what felt like weeks to meet her. This case had been weighing on him since the moment he received that letter, and he wanted it to be over. He wanted the anxiety and the chaos to be over. But, once they solved this one, there would just be another after, and the cycle of chaos and anxiety begins all over again.

“I hope you know you can't dress like that,” JJ said, teasing Aaron with a light shove as she walked past him.

“Why?”

“It’s… a business suit, Hotch. And you're going to a nightclub. It screams Fed.”

Aaron looked down at himself, realizing JJ was right. His vibes screamed ‘Cop’, and that was exactly what he did not want.

“Don’t worry, sir. I have something you can borrow from my go bag,” Derek suggested.

“Hotch in Derek’s clothes? That’s something I’ll pay good money to see,” Emily laughed, JJ giggling alongside her as Derek rolled his eyes and threw clothes at the two of them.

“You think these will work?” Derek asked the girls, not bothering with Aaron’s opinion.

“Oh, it’s perfect. Hotch will love these,” they laughed, neatly folding the clothes and handing them to Aaron. He walked away in silence, heading towards his office so he could change. The clothes weren’t a perfect fit, but they were better than his suit. The shirt was way too tight, with a v-neck that was way too deep. His arms felt like they would rip right through the cheap cotton, and his ass felt like it was going to bust straight out of the denim.

He began to walk out of the office quietly, hoping that the rest of the team wouldn’t be waiting for his fashion show. But as he figured, they were standing by patiently for him to show off in Derek’s way too tight clothes. As soon as he opened the door, a riot of laughs and cat calls surrounded him. He felt himself blushing, which was something he hadn’t done in a long time.

“Damn, Hotch. Where have you been hiding those arms?” Derek laughed, his voice echoing through Aarons head.

“I think we need to start casual Friday,” Spencer added, staring in awe at his boss.

“Alright, enough guys. This is a serious case, and I need everyone to be on their best behavior.”

“I’m not sure I can act right with you walking around like that,” Rossi joked, causing the rest of the team to burst out with laughter. Aaron just rolled his eyes, secretly appreciating the light that they all brought to his life.

“Alright, you guys ready to go?”

“All set. Let’s go catch a killer, sir.”

The ride to the club was a bit of a hike, a little over thirty minutes by the time they parked. They were split in two cars, seperated to cover both entrances. The plan was for him to go in and assess the situation, hoping he can get her out without harming any bystanders. If he needed backup, he had an alarm he could trigger that would alert the rest of the team to come in. It was a simple plan, one they had executed a thousand times in the past. But despite that, he felt extremely anxious.

“Are you ready, Aaron?” Rossi asked, raising his eyebrows in concern.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with. Stay alert, guys.” Aaron walked out of the car and to the entrance of the club, staring directly at the large bouncer standing in front of the door. He was given very specific instructions on what to see when he approached the man, ones that would deliver him directly to Ananke and avoid having to deal with the actual club.

“You on the list?” The bouncer asked as Aaron approached, not even bothering to look up from his clipboard.

“I’m here to see… A,” he whispered, looking around frantically to see if anyone else heard.

“You got your ID and confirmation number?” He asked, setting his clipboard down and staring intensely at Aaron.

“Uh, yeah. It’s 73491. And here’s my drivers license,” he responded, handing him the forged Virginia license of one Zachary Wilson.

“Zachary Wilson…” the man whispered, making Aaron sick to his stomach as he awaited the man to deny him and send him away, ruining his chances of finding her forever. “You’re gonna go in this door, right here,” he said, pointing towards a hidden and seemingly locked door to his right. “Take the stairs all the way up, knock on the door twice. She’ll be right with you.”

“Thank you,” he responded, relieved as he began to walk past the guard and towards his end goal.

“Oh, and Zachary,” the man added, causing Aaron to turn around in confusion.

“Remember: lei è dalla nostra parte,” he said, a smile creeping on his face as he spoke. Aaron recognized the language as Italian, but he couldn’t translate what he was saying. The bouncer turned around before Aaron had the chance to ask what he meant, but he figured it would just be better to move on and go directly to her.

He slowly opened the door, unsure of what he would find on the other side. To his surprise, it was only an exceptionally narrow staircase in a small hallway, leading directly to another gray door. The sound of fluorescent lights buzzed in the air, making Aaron dizzy as he walked up the steep steps. He remembered what the man said- knock twice. He also remembered the phrase in Italian, lei è dalla nostra parte. And when he finally got to the door, he began to unravel the words in his head. He knocked twice, replaying the words over and over. And when he finally heard the door click open, he understood what the man had meant. She is on our side.

“Zachary?” A man asked, opening the door slightly, only enough to peak out at him.

“Yes. I’m here to see-”

“Ananke. Of course,” he interrupted, swinging the door open and revealing an exceptionally beautiful and ornate room. Aaron walked in slowly, in a daze, his eyes not sure where to look as every piece of the room exceptionally thought out. There was a beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the light reflecting rainbows from the crystals.

“She will be with you shortly. Feel free to have a seat somewhere. Can I get you anything to drink?”

Aaron felt like he was at a hotel, the service impeccable as he sat down on the incredibly comfortable and probably very expensive couch. Most hit men he had met with did not present themselves like this. Whoever she was, she had a lot of money. In that moment, he wondered how many lives she had taken- how many people finally got what they deserved. And for a brief and frightening moment, he wondered if she was doing things right?

His thoughts were interrupted when she walked out. Not only did he lose his train of thought, but his breath was literally ripped from his chest. She was no longer covering her face, or wearing a wig. She had finally revealed herself to him, and he was in awe. She was absolutely stunning- beautiful to a level that made his head spin and his heart cramp up. He stood up instinctively, feeling the need to stand and greet her face to face. As she walked closer, he felt his throat getting tighter and tighter.

“Hello,” she spoke, her words floating through the air like a flower in the spring wind. “I’m Ananke.”

“Mhmm, he,” he stuttered, sticking his hand out to shake hers. “I’m…” he choked, unable to get his words out.

“Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, right?” She smiled, and Aaron instinctively reached for his gun.

“Put your weapon away, Aaron. I’m no threat to you,” she instructed, and he complied. For some reason, he believed her. She had no intention of hurting him or anyone else in this building. He didn’t need his weapon.

“How do you know who I am?”

“The FBI has a list of Social Security numbers they regularly use for fake documents. It’s… a hard list to get your hands on. I’m lucky I have friends in high places.”

“So you knew who I was from the minute I submitted my application?” He was shocked, a sick feeling washing over him. Who was she? How was she consistently one step ahead of them?

“I’m sorry to break your sense of superiority, agent. It hurts when someone is smarter than you, doesn't it?” She tilted her head at him, a devilish grin pasted across her face. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to be angry, but all he could focus on was the fire burning inside of him and the hunger building itself, the craving overcoming her. Her skirt revealed a little too much of her thigh and her shirt was a little too low cut and the thought of her flesh on his rippled its way through his body.

“Well, we found you and I’m going to arrest you, so it doesn’t seem like you came out on top here,” he responded, avoiding eye contact as he tried to get his impure thoughts out of his head.

“Agent Hotchner, something you will quickly learn is that I only come on top.” She winked at him, pursuing her lips slightly and smiling. She held her wrists out to him, walking towards him until she was only inches away. “Are you going to arrest me, Agent?”

Aaron reached for the cuffs in his back pocket, pulling them out slowly and staring directly at her. She didn't take his eyes off of him, standing tall as he began to cuff her. Her hands were soft, almost comical as they brushed against his rough and untouched skin. He didn’t speak, and neither did she. He just closed the cuffs on her, her large eyes staring up at him like a doe. He felt dizzy again, the intoxicating smell of her perfume, the subtle hints of berries and vanilla surrounding him in a whirlwind.

He slowly grabbed his phone from his pocket, trying to dial Rossi’s number, feeling drunk as he pressed the button. What was wrong with him? And what was wrong with her? Why would she willingly let herself get arrested so easily? That was the problem. This was exceptionally easy. Nothing was ever this easy.

“Hey, Rossi. I got her. We’re coming down now.”

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Aaron wasn’t surprised that she remained silent the entire car ride back to Quantico. What he was surprised by is that she didn’t appear nervous or angry. She sat calmly, staring out the window, her body relaxed and her lips forming the slightest smile. It made him angry- he didn’t understand her nonchalance.

They tried to talk to her, ask her for her real name, about her crimes- but she would just look at them, tilting her head and smiling before bringing her gaze back outside. When they finally arrived back at the Bureau, she turned towards Aaron and Rossi, slowly speaking her first words in over thirty minutes.

“Am I allowed a phone call?” She asked, staring directly at Aaron, as if it was only the two of them in the car. For a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world.

“Who exactly would you like to call?” Rossi smirked, rolling his eyes, trying to get Aaron to look at him. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. He was drawn to her like a sailor at sea, listening to the sweet song of the siren. He understood, now, why the sailors always swam to their death. It was because it was so damn beautiful.

“I’d like to speak with the Director,” she insisted, her eyes finally releasing Aaron from his hypnosis as she looked in disgust at Rossi. He could sense the shift in her tone as she looked at the agent- she had built up a terrifying exterior that she had on display for most people. But when she looked at Aaron, the wall somehow didn’t exist. Why would she show her true self to a stranger? What was it about him that she was drawn too? Could she sense his pain? Did she know that he understood why she did what she did? That he, too, had felt the rush of ending evil with his own two hands?

“The Director? Of the FBI?” Rossi asked, shocked at her absurd request. “What exactly would you like to speak to him about?”

“I just think he’d be interested to know I’m here,” she spoke, calmly, sitting back in the seat of the car and looking out the window again.

“This girl is nuts…” Rossi whispered to Aaron before getting out of the car and grabbing ‘Ananke’ from the back seat. Aaron followed closely behind, his eyes locked on Rossi’s tight grip around her flesh. He could see the marks his agent was leaving behind, his fingertips dug into her arm. It made him sick. The thought of anyone harming her made him sick. But she was the bad guy- he was supposed to hate her, to send her away and avenge all of the lives she took. Why did he want to save her so bad? Grab her from Rossi, hop in the car and take her away from all of this. It didn’t make sense, the way he felt. And Aaron hated it- he hated feeling out of control of his own thoughts- his own desires.

As they brought her into the BAU, the rest of the team following behind, he immediately noticed something was off when he walked through the doors. The rest of the team must have noticed as well, because they all kind of stopped in their tracks as they walked in.

Derek noticed her first, pacing back and forth in Aaron’s office.

“Strauss,” he groaned, rolling his eyes at the sight of her.

“What is she doing here?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and tensing up.

“I’m not sure. I’ll go find out. Rossi, can you bring her into the interrogation room? Spencer, try and get something out of her,” Aaron instructed his team, watching them seperate and do their assigned tasks as he walked up to his office. When he got closer, he noticed the Director was also there as well. He got a sick feeling in his stomach, remembering his immediate thoughts when he first arrested Ananke. It’s never this easy.

He opened his office door with shaking hands, immediately slapped in the face with tension clinging to the air. The Director stood up as he entered, and Strauss stopped pacing.

“Aaron,” she whispered, her eyes darting nervously around the room.

“Erin,” he smirked, not sure why his brain was choosing this moment to crack jokes.

“It’s good to see you, Agent Hotchner. It’s been a while,” the Director said.

“Chris. It’s good to see you as well. Can I ask what you’re doing in my office?”

The two of them looked nervously at each other, as if deciding who had to tell him the unspoken secret. The first thought in his brain was that Foyet was back. He killed him, though. He remembered the life draining out of him. He couldn’t be back. He felt his body get hot, his breathing picking up as he remembered Foyet’s face…

“Aaron… unfortunately, we’re going to need you to let (Y/N) go.”

“Who?” He asked bluntly, confused at the name he was sure he had never heard before. Although his brain was still spinning, he was feeling calmer knowing whatever this was, it wasn’t about Foyet.

“Ananke. You need to release her,” Strauss clarified, her voice equally annoyed and apologetic.

“I’m sorry… I’m confused.” Aaron was realizing now how much easier it was to hate Ananke - or (Y/N) - when she wasn't right in front of him. He couldn’t see her, she couldn’t lure him in. Her spell had broken. “I know for a fact she killed at least one person. I’m not releasing her.”

“Aaron, this goes beyond you. She is no longer a person of interest.” Chris had raised his voice, clearly frustrated at whatever was happening.

“You can’t just take away my unsub and not tell me why. Do you think my team will be okay with that? Do you think I’ll be okay with that?” Aaron was angry, the thought of them taking her away with no reason making him crazy.

“Agent Hotchner, there are some secrets within the Bureau that even you don’t know about.”

“I don’t accept that.”

Chris and Strauss looked defeated, both accepting that they won’t win this battle. Chris shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, contemplating his words.

“What is going on, Strauss?” Aaron begged, the room beginning to spin again, his body craving the sweet release of nicotine and the bitter taste of vodka.

“Your unsubs real name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She is a government protected assassin.”

“What?” Aaron’s head was spinning, the room around him dancing in circles as the words floated through his mind. That couldn’t be real. There was no way the place he worked, that he believed upheld justice, would do something so… unjust. So immoral. They had to be lying. “It’s not possible. We met the man that paid her to kill someone. She was paid by a civilian to kill a civilian.”

“She sometimes takes on… side projects,” Chris muttered, clearly knowing his words would upset Aaron.

“And you allow that?” He yelled, his body fuming with anger as he paced around his office. It didn't make sense. Everything he had ever believed in was crumbling right before his eyes- all because of her.

“With the things she has done for us, Aaron, there is a little bit of lenience. Besides, Jason was a bad person, anyways.”

“That doesn’t make it okay. We have a justice system in place for a reason.” He felt sick, the realization that a system he protected for so long was seeping with corruption.

“Did Foyet get his chance for trial? Or did the justice system not count for him?” Strauss looked at him sternly, frustration written on her face. Aaron realized she was right. He took justice into his own hands with Foyet, and he didn’t regret it. How was she doing anything different? For a moment, nothing made sense to Aaron. His entire belief system had shattered right in front of him. He was speechless, his brain splashing around trying to find the right words to express his disbelief. But he was coming up empty, drawing blanks. There was truly nothing he could say that could capture how he felt. He just thought of her, the sweet smell of berries that lingered in her hair, the softness of her skin, the enticing aura that surrounded her when she looked at him.

“What am I supposed to tell my team?” He thought out loud.

“We’ll handle it. Let’s go out and talk to them now,” Chris instructed, walking out of the office and down towards the annex. Rossi noticed the three of them and quickly walked up to Chris, greeting him.

“Could you gather your team for me?” The director asked, Aaron still unsure of how he would explain this to them. Rossi grabbed everyone pretty quickly, dragging Spencer from the interrogation room, which Aaron could only imagine was going very poorly.

“Hello everyone, I’m sorry to bother you all, but the unsub you brought in today is a person of interest in several international crimes. She’s been on our watch list for a while, now, and we’re going to have to hand her over to interpol.” The Directors words were quick and precise, leaving no room for anyone to second guess him. Even Aaron was convinced they weren’t going to release her the minute they were alone.

“What has she done?” JJ questioned, intrigued at the mystery international criminal they brought in.

“It’s classified, Agent. And if you don’t mind, we’d like to get out of here rather quickly. If someone could grab her, please,” he ordered, causing Spencer to quickly walk to the room she was in and bring her back out to them.

She was smirking widely as she walked out, clearly knowing her freedom was inevitable. He had so many questions for her, so much he needed to know, but he had to keep his mouth shut. She was slipping right through his fingers, and he had only just begun to know her.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. I know how much you enjoyed seeing me in handcuffs,” she whispered to him as she passed by, winking seductively before being taken away by the Director and Strauss.

Aaron felt miserable as she walked away, the three of them heading into the elevator and away from him forever. She now felt only like a ghost, a distant memory fading away as more time went by without her. The team moved on from the loss in a matter of minutes, but Aaron stood there, frozen in place, waiting desperately for her to come back.

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Five days. He was able to wait five days before he went to see her. He tried so desperately to forget about her- it seemed everyone else had. But she seeped into his dreams, tossing and turning as he tried to sleep, her voice, her face, her body, calling to him. He needed to see her again, just to ask her why. He wouldn’t sleep ever again if he didn’t.

So, five days after she walked away, he waited until Jack was asleep, explained to Jessica that he had some paperwork to take care of, and headed to see her. His brain continuously tried to tell him it was a bad idea. He should turn around, go home, and forget her. But he knew it was easier said than done. This was the only way.

When he got to the club, he noticed the same bouncer from before was sitting outside the door. Aaron felt a bit relieved, hoping the man would recognize him and he could lie his way up to (Y/N)’ door.

“Hey, man,” he said casually, trying to sound as calm and not suspicious as possible.

“Can I help you?” The man grunted, clearly not amused by Aaron’s attempt to be friendly.

“I’m here to see A. We met a few days ago, I need to drop my money off,” he whispered, praying to whatever God was listening that this guy would believe his story.

“A isn’t supposed to be meeting anyone tonight,” he groaned, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Aaron could tell it was a long shot, but he had to do whatever he could to see her.

“Call her. She’ll tell you,” he stuttered, looking anxiously at the large man standing between him and (Y/N). It was possible he could take him down if he had to, Aaron thought. It would be a hell of a fight, but he’d brought down bigger men. He shifted instinctively, trying to casually feel his hip and make sure he was still armed.

The man pulled out a small phone that appeared to be very old- most likely a burner they used to communicate. He dialed a number quickly and stared at Aaron, as if hoping his boss would give him the go ahead to kick Aaron’s ass.

“Hey, it’s me. Some guy is here to see you. Said you talked earlier today. Can you check the cams,” he asked, trying to speak quietly, but Aaron was still able to hear every word. He waited patiently for her response, trying to keep his face calm.

“Alright, thanks A.” He hung the call up and placed the phone in his pocket, taking as long as possible to give Aaron his answer. It felt like hours, excruciating pain as he waited for his fate.

“You’re clear to go.”

Aaron was almost positive she would send him away. If she had cameras, she knew it was him. Why would she allow him to come up? Did she want to see him, too?

He knew if he stood there any longer contemplating the situation, he would look suspicious. So despite all of his common sense warning him that something was wrong, he walked through the secret door and up the narrow staircase, knocking twice at her door and awaiting to enter her world.

He was greeted by the same man from earlier, who was smiling brightly as he opened the door and let him in. He offered him another drink, which Aaron politely declined, finding a seat on one of the couches and unable to sit still as he waited for her.

She left him waiting for quite a while. Although it felt like hours of agony for Aaron, his watch assured him he had only been waiting around twenty minutes by the time she finally greeted him. She was wearing a short red dress, golden heels wrapped around her feet as she floated towards him, smiling devilishly as she poured herself a drink.

“It’s nice to see you again, Agent,” she teased, taking a sip of her liquor of choice and taking a seat across from him.

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About what?” She tilted her head, soft lips creating a pout of confusion as she stared at him.

“You knew I was going to arrest you the minute you got my application to meet… if you knew you couldn’t get in trouble, why would you let all of that happen? You could’ve called the Director the minute you knew who I was. Why didn’t you?” Aaron needed to know why she went through the trouble of setting up a meeting with him, allowing herself to be arrested and brought to the Bureau. It didn’t make sense, allowing herself to take such a big risk.

“It seemed… fun. Sometimes my life can be quite boring.” She smiled at him, her flirtatious grin that she seemed to save just for Aaron.

“Wasting my time, my team's time… that's fun to you?” Aaron was getting angry again, his body fuming as he looked at her.

“Well, maybe a part of me wanted to meet you. I mean, we’re not so different, Aaron.”

“Hah,” he laughed, rolling his eyes at her. “You think you and I have anything in common?”

“Oh, are you not the same SSA Aaron Hotchner who killed George Foyet with his own hands?”

“How the hell do you know that?” Aaron had stood up at this point, his anger and frustration causing his body to become restless.

“It’s on your record, Agent. It’s not too hard to find…” She took another sip of her drink, finishing the last of the cups content and standing up to face him. For a moment, they were inches apart, the air between them stock full of tension, anger and attraction swimming around the two. But as he prayed he could control his compulsion to touch her, she walked away, over to another corner of the room, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it.

The smell of smoke intoxicated him, making his knees shake as he craved the burn of nicotine in his throat. She floated back towards him, taking her place back on the couch and burning quickly through her cigarette.

“You seem so angry, Aaron.”

“Because you’re killing people, and somehow the people I look up to to maintain law and order don’t care.”

“Have you ever thought that you’re more angry at yourself than at me? I mean, a part of you gets it, right? You understand what I do, why I do it… and that makes you sick, doesn’t it?”

“I would never justify what you do.”

“Mm,” she hummed, standing up and walking towards him again. She placed a soft hand on his face, Aaron realizing her touch was the first he’d felt since Haley died. The feel of his flesh being caressed by someone, being held by someone- it made him melt.

“Maybe it’s not that, though. Maybe you really do hate me, hate what I do. But a part of you can’t stop thinking about touching me, feeling me… fucking me.” She moved her hand down his body, trailing her fingers down his chest and stopping at the base of his groin. He felt chills down his body, blood rushing to his cock at the slightest touch.

“That’s not- it’s not that,” he stuttered, trying to back away, knowing how dangerous it would be for him to get roped into something like this.

“Right, of course,” she whispered, taking her hand away from him and turning around, walking away. He watched her body as she floated across the room, his eyes glued to her ass that was begging to be touched by him.

“(Y/N)...�� Aaron whispered, calling for her, unable to stand the feeling of her being away from him. She turned towards him, walking back slowly, taking her time and letting him simmer in anticipation as she made her way back to the center of the room. When she made her way back to him, he grabbed her chin with his hand, tilting her face up towards him, her lips inches from his.

“I would never want somebody like you. You are a bad person, no matter what you try to say to me.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Agent,” she smirked, her lips almost brushing against his as she formed them into a smile.

At that moment, it felt like any self control Aaron had flew directly out the window. He wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her body into his and kissing her. It was a kiss that was draped in desperation, anger, lust. His tongue made no attempt to be gentle, selfishly exploring her small mouth and he picked her up and sat her on a table. He tore his shirt off, his desire to be touched, to touch her, overcoming any restraint he had before.

He picked her up, her small frame easy for his trained body to carry swifty to the couch. He threw her down on her back, her body writhing under his, moaning his name so loud that he was sure the club goers downstairs could hear. He wrapped his hands around her neck, gripping gently, listening to her gasp for air as he slid up her dress to reveal nothing underneath.

“You’re just begging for me, aren’t you,” he teased, pulling his hard cock out from his boxers and teasing her entrance with his tip. She nodded slowly at him, unable to speak as he still had his hand gripped around her throat. He was aching to hear her voice again, so he released his hand, getting turned on at the mark he left on her.

He slipped into her slowly, no time to waste on foreplay. He knew he needed her now, that their time was limited and it was only a matter of time before his common sense kicked in and he got out of there. But for the moment, he was sloppily pounding into her, not caring who saw or heard, desperately needing to be as close to her as possible.

He came quickly, the euphoria of feeling another woman for the first time in months too much for him to control. She came too, though. He could tell she wasn’t faking- he could feel it. After they finished, he quickly put his clothes back on, (Y/N) continuing to lay breathlessly on the couch. He watched her for a moment, waiting for her to say something- ask him to stay, kiss him goodbye. But she just pulled herself up and walked towards the other side of the room, grabbing and lighting another cigarette.

“You should go.” (Y/N) instructed, not even bothering to look up at the man who just came inside her moments ago.

“You shouldn’t smoke those, you know. They’ll kill you.” Aaron’s mouth was dry, watching the trail of smoke that followed her as she floated around the room, refusing to give him even a second of her time.

“What do I have to live for?” She asked, finally dragging her tired eyes to his and smiling, one of the first real, and saddest, smiles he had seen from her.

Aaron tried to think of something else to say, racking his brain for the correct words to say. But he continuously came up empty, and he realized he was starting to look more and more suspicious the longer he stood there. He decided to walk away, ignore the part of him that refused to tear away from her.

He walked soberly down the stairs, out onto the street and to his car. As he sat in his drivers seat and started the engine, feeling his face get hot, the rare feeling of wet eyes as he began to cry. And then he started to laugh. An uncontrollable cackle that spilled out of him like a waterfall. It was comical, to look back over the past few months and relive all of the bullshit he had been through. He didn’t even recognize the person in the mirror anymore. And maybe that was a good thing, because the person he used to be was the same person that let Haley die.

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Aaron tried to pretend he didn’t spend every day over the next week thinking about her. The way her soft skin felt when he touched her, the way her lips tasted like bubblegum and her hair smelled like cherries. When he imagined her in his head, everything felt so distant, like he was barely holding on to a dream of her. He could feel her memory slipping away every second, and he couldn’t let that happen.

He had to see her again, and soon. He wondered if she was thinking about him as well, if she remembered the mint chapstick he was wearing, or the Dolce cologne he was wearing. It made him sick, thinking that she forgot him. (Y/N) had slowly become everything to him, what if he was just a passing thought for her?

The team had landed back in DC an hour ago, solving a case in Miami that was one of the easier ones they had had this year. Aaron was grateful for the slight break, his brain not completely in the right headspace.

He rushed to finish up the closing paperwork, scribbling his words sloppily and without much care for grammar. He knew as soon as Strauss read his, she would call him and question his mental state. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get the hell out of here tonight, and if that meant sitting through another of Strauss’s evaluations, it was worth it.

As he was signing the last of the documents, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He grabbed it with caution, not sure who would be calling him this late at night. The call was coming from an unknown number, and Aaron immediately worried something had happened to Jack. He was away at his grandparents this week, planning on staying a few more days. He answered the phone nervously, preparing for whatever horror was to come.

“Hello, Agent,” a female voice said, a voice he instantly recognized as (Y/N)’s. Her voice flowed smoothly like silk even over the phone. It was truly hard to believe how she had managed to perfect every aspect of herself.

“Why- how are you calling me?” He looked around cautiously, making sure no one could secretly hear any part of the phone call.

“I’m flying to Paris this weekend, a little well deserved vacation. I was calling to see if you’d like to join me.”

“I… Paris? I can’t just fly to Paris.” Aaron chuckled into the phone, the idea of someone just getting up and deciding to fly halfway across the world with no plan truly comical to him.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I’d called the Fun Police. I thought this was Aaron Hotchner,” she teased. He could feel her smiling through the phone, a warmth that somehow seemed to wrap him even though he could only see her in his thoughts.

“I can have fun…” he argued, biting his lip awkwardly, not wanting to seem inferior to her.

“When was the last time you did something for yourself, Agent? Have you ever just… been spontaneous?”

“(Y/N), you don’t understand-”

“Call me A on the phone. It’s safer,” she instructed, her voice losing its soft luster as her professional side kicked in.

“A… my job, my life… it doesn't leave room for spontaneity.”

“No, Agent. That’s your choice. I’ll be at the jet runway at Dulles in two hours. Think about it. I’ll wait for you.” She hung the phone up, not giving him room to protest. He set the phone down on his desk, instantly missing her even more than he did before. Jack was going to be with his grandparents for three more days, and he did have some saved up vacation time. But what would he tell the team? What would he tell Strauss?

His phone vibrated again, this time only a single buzz to indicate a text message. He flipped his phone over and saw a new message from an Unknown number.

Life doesn’t have to be so complicated, Agent. It is much too short to spend this much time suffering. Learn to enjoy your days.

He reread the message a thousand times, knowing the words would still reign true no matter how much he tried to convince himself she was in the wrong. He had spent his whole life serving others, and he was okay with it, until now. Maybe if he had lived without complication, and enjoyed his days, his life would be completely different…

He ran home and quickly packed a bag, letting Strauss and Rossi know he needed some ‘alone time’ for a few days. They didn’t question it- one nice thing about having a recent trauma, he thought. He took an Uber to the airport, praying that (Y/N) kept her promise and waited for him.

When he finally arrived on the runway, he noticed her immediately. It was as if even being near her set an alarm off inside of him, like every part of his brain was awake, feeling her energy from a hundred feet away.

He thanked the Uber driver and ran to her, bag in hand. As he got to her, he noticed her face. She wasn’t surprised or shocked in the slightest- she knew he’d come. She somehow knew every move he would make. Was he that predictable… or was it something special between them?

“I have to be home in three days,” he said, breathlessly, overjoyed at the sight of his girl.

“We can do a lot in three days,” she responded, smiling wickedly. She walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his torso and embracing him. It was such a nice feeling to be held, comforted. He felt like he could stay there in her arms for years. But she broke the hug pretty quickly, motioning for one of her men to take care of the bags and began walking towards the jet.

As he followed her up the stairs and into their own private world, he started to remember everything he was leaving behind. The realization of just how impulsive this was dawned on him as he looked back at the city behind him. He felt dizzy, leaning on the railing for support as he shakily walked up.

“You alright?” (Y/N) asked, placing a hand on his arm to steady him.

“This is crazy, (Y/N). I just can’t believe I’m doing this.”

They continued to walk into the jet, her hand intertwined in his as they sat down and the door closed behind them. A man came out from behind the curtain, who Aaron immediately recognized as the same man who greeted him both times he met her.

“Aaron, this is my… well, assistant, I guess. Jay, this is my new friend, Aaron.” She waved to Jay slightly, instructing him to come closer.

“It’s good to meet you sir. Can I get the two of you anything to drink?” Jay was a short boy, couldn't have been more than 25. He clearly worshipped the ground she walked on, which seemed to be par for the course with men she knew.

“Oh, hmm,” she thought, closing her eyes for a moment as she racked her brain for a decision. “Whiskey sour. What would you like?” She turned towards Aaron, the subtle tilt of her head reminding him of how pretty her neck looked with his hands around it.

“I’ll do a Scotch, neat,” he ordered, something so enticing about ordering a drink on a private jet to Paris.

“I’ll grab those for you now. Matt is ready to take off, A, are you all set?” Jay turned back towards his boss, his eyes widening like a puppy as he waited for her words.

“I’m ready to go Jay, thank you,” she smiled, looking at him quickly before bringing her attention back to Aaron. Jay took her disinterest as a sign to leave and make their drinks, so he shuffled away quickly after she looked away.

He came back with their drinks a moment later, leaving quickly after and closing himself in the cockpit. The jet began to take off shortly after, and Aaron took a long sip of his drink, hoping the alcohol would calm any nerves he had left. He started at (Y/N) dreamily, as she shuffled through her phone and a pile on various paperwork on her lap.

“Sorry, Agent, just finishing up some work,” she whispered, her eyes still staring down.

“Mmm, it’s okay,” he responded, just happy to be in the same place as her again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she smiled, setting her work aside and bringing her attention to Aaron.

“Why did you kick me out the other night? After…” His voice trailed off, shifting awkwardly in his seat.

“I figured it be best for you. I didn’t want to wrap you up with my life… with me. But in all honesty, I can’t stop thinking about you. I called you tonight, and told myself if you didn’t show, I’d move on. But… you’re here.”

“I’m here,” he whispered back, his eyes tracing down her body, craving her once again.

“I feel like we have something special, Agent,” she whispered seductively, climbing out of her seat and walking towards him.

“I missed you… I couldn’t stop thinking about you…” he moaned as she bent towards him, her lips kissing down his neck and playing with the collar of his shirt. She unbuttoned the top buttons, kissing his chest and moving her hand to his inner thigh. She trailed her fingers up his thigh, teasing his cock with the slightest touch. His hips bucked uncontrollably, blood flowing down to him as his desire took over his body.

She got down on her knees, toying with his belt buckle. She was clearly trying to make him wait, the suffering and craving all a part of her game. But he was impatient, so he ripped his belt off himself, undoing his pants and pulling his erect penis out.

(Y/N) licked her lips in anticipation, wanting to pleasure him as much as he wanted to be pleasured. She played with his tip slowly, toying her tongue around him as he moved underneath her. He wrapped his fingers in her hair, slowly pushing her mouth down around him. He wanted her to take all of him, to feel the back of her throat as he shoved his length in her mouth. She moaned quietly as she took him, bobbing her head up and down quickly and sloppily.

Aaron couldn’t remember the last time he got a blow job- let alone the last time someone enjoyed giving him one. (Y/N) was toying with him, clearly enjoying the pleasure she was able to give him just with her tongue. She looked up at him as he was about to cum, winking as she dragged her tongue up his shaft. The eye contact sent him over the edge, causing him to release himself in her mouth. She swallowed his cum happily, kissing him on the cheek and sitting back down on her chair.

He wanted to go to her, give her what she needed now. But he was exhausted, the exhilaration of her taking away all of his energy. He took another hefty sip of his drink, leaning back in his chair and wiping the sweat off his forehead. He buckled his pants back up and readjusted himself in the seat.

“Don’t hate me, handsome, but I do have to get some work done. Feel free to sleep on the couch, or watch a movie. I’ll let you know when we get there.” She blew him a kiss, teasing him with a wink before losing herself in her work. He wondered what part of her job she could possibly be doing from the seat of a plane. There was truly so much he didn’t know about her, which made it so much more exciting.

He finished his drink, watching her work in awe as the plane soared over the Atlantic. He felt himself drifting off and didn’t try to stop it, wanting to be fully rested so he could make the most of his time with her.

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Paris was unarguably Aaron’s favorite place on Earth. Whenever he told people that, they always kind of chuckled. It was kind of a feminine city, at least that’s what everyone told him. But god, he loved it here. The food, the architecture, the people… but most importantly, it was her.

She had made every second of his life magical. When they landed, she brought him to a small bakery near the Louvre, where they sipped wine and ate the sweetest fruit he’d ever tasted. It was only 10 AM when they got there, but nobody seemed to pay them any attention as they drunkenly strolled down the Parisian streets, giggling and kissing and living.

When they finally sobered up, they made their way to a gorgeous hotel, where (Y/N) got the nicest suite available. They ordered a few bottles of champagne, popping them open as soon as they got inside and helping themselves to many glasses. They drank out on the balcony, overlooking the whole city as they downed more alcohol.

The suite came equipped with a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom, which (Y/N) was begging him to take advantage of. She stripped down in front of him, lighting candles and drawing a tub of steaming water. She took a bottle of champagne into the bathroom and soaked herself in the tub, lavender scented bubbles surrounding her. Aaron couldn’t resist the temptation of her body, so he quickly followed after her, stripping down and slipping in the bubbles with her.

She sat on his lap, he kissed down the back of her neck and nibbled on her flesh. She moved her butt into him, the softness of her flesh pushing into his cock.

“I told you, sometimes it’s fun to be adventurous.”

“I never doubted that. I just think this is all… crazy…”

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” She giggled, pushing bubbles towards him and splashing around the water.

“Oh do not play games with me,” he laughed, splashing water towards her. She squealed when the water hit her face, scrunching her nose as she wiped the bubbles from her cheeks.

“Let’s go,” she smirked, standing up and carefully stepping out of the bath. Her skin was glistening from the water, bubbles dripping down her flesh. He stared in awe at her, obsessed with every curve, every inch of her more perfect than the last. She walked slowly out of the bathroom, her butt wiggling with every step. She was clearly calling for him, begging for him to follow her wherever she went. And he would. He did.

He ran after her carefully, finding her naked body wrapped in the fluffy comforter of the bed. She smiled when she saw him, sitting up and wrapping her hands around his neck. She brought his face towards her, kissing him slowly, allowing their lips to enjoy every second they had with each other.

Aaron’s hands were gripped on her hips, his naked body grinding into hers. He hadn’t known this feeling for a long time- the feeling of complete and total calm. For the first time in an absurd amount of time, he wasn’t worried. He wasn’t thinking of every terrible thing that was happening around him. He was only thinking about her- the way her lips felt on his, the way her body moved… his whole life had so suddenly become wrapped up in her.

But, the trouble was, nothing good in his life stayed. And it was only a matter of time before the universe took her away, too.

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The rest of their time in Paris went by in a daze. Most of their time they were either drinking or fucking, taking breaks to walk aimlessly around the Louvre and stroll down the Seine. He was heartbroken when he had to go back, but he did miss his son, and was sure the team was falling apart without him. When they landed back in DC, (Y/N) had a car ready to take Aaron home.

He had a good hour before Jack would be back, so he used his time to take a long shower and brew a strong pot of coffee. It was almost 7 at night, but his body was still messed up from the change in time zones, and he knew he wouldn’t get much sleep that night. He was already missing her, checking his phone every five minutes to see if she would whisk him away on another adventure.

But, as he quickly learned, she was the type of person to disappear for a while. Aaron didn’t hear from her for seven full days after Paris. Seven full agonizing days of wondering where she was, who she was with, and most importantly- what she was doing.

Being away from her made it easier for him to realize the reality of their situation. She was a killer; and yeah, maybe she only killed ‘bad’ people, but did that really make it any better? At least, that was the question he was asking himself. Surprisingly, as more time went on, the harder time he had convincing himself she was a villain. Maybe it was because he was falling in love with her, maybe it was because he understood the anger of watching guilty people walk away from things completely unscathed.

They didn’t speak about work once during their time together, although it was clear Aaron had a lot of questions. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what she could be doing for Strauss and the Director. Who was she killing that they couldn’t get to the normal way? He wanted to know her life, understand the secrets she spent her existence protecting- but it wasn't for him. And maybe that was for the best. The mystery of it all made it… hotter.

So when he finally heard from her, seven full days later, he felt like a kid on Christmas. He recognized the ‘unknown’ number as it popped up on the screen, stepping into his office so he could speak with her privately.

“Hi, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke, her voice singing to him. He loved the way she called him Agent. He loved everything about her.

“I’ve missed you. Where have you been?”

“Oh, working. You know.” He could tell she didn’t want to speak any more about work, so he changed the subject.

“Are you back in DC?”

“For a bit.”

“Can I see you? Let’s get dinner somewhere. Anywhere.”

“I… we probably shouldn’t be out together like that… if we saw anyone we knew… your team…” She spoke her words carefully, not sure how to tell him that their relationship wasn’t exactly approved of. Aaron had never really thought about it, but the reality made him sick. Would he never be able to love her publicly? Hold her hand at the park, take her to eat at his favorite restaurant, introduce her to his friends?

But the adrenaline, the euphoria of being with her- it was worth any negatives. He would eat in the dark with her, hide her in his house, runaway with her…

“Come over to my place, then. We’ll order pizza, watch a movie.”

“Hah,” she giggled, her laugh airy and full of light just as he remembered. Hearing it made him smile. “I can’t remember the last time I ordered pizza and watched movies with a boy…”

“Well, given the circumstances, I have to get creative A.”

“What about Jack?”

“Oh,” Aaron responded, forgetting for a moment that she had yet to meet his son. He didn’t think twice about it, wanting his son to know the woman that was bringing him so much joy. But was it safe? And did she want to know him?

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What is happening between us? Are we just messing around… Is there feelings?” He hated to ask her such a loaded question over the phone, but he needed to know the answer- he had to know if she was just as head over heels as she was.

“Agent, no man I’ve ever ‘messed around’ with has this number.”

Aaron chuckled, the nervousness in his chest subsiding.

“Come over tonight, please,” he begged, craving the way her lips felt on his.

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight, Agent.”

“I’ll see you tonight, A.”

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Aaron didn’t expect just how wonderful (Y/N) would be with Jack. He had never really seen a maternal side to her before, but she was incredible. Jack took a liking to her as well, even falling asleep between the both of them as they watched Finding Nemo. After they were sure he was asleep, Aaron carried his son to his room and put him to bed, (Y/N) following close behind, in awe of the way Aaron cared for his son.

“You want a glass of wine?” Aaron whispered to her, the two of them hand in hand as they walked back to the living room.

“Please!”

He poured the two of them overly generous glasses of Riesling, snuggling up on the couch next to her and kissing her on the forehead. They tried to find a movie for a bit, scrolling through endless channels before giving up.

“Can you stay the night?”

“I wish, but I have to catch an early flight tomorrow,” she frowned, her pout showcasing her perfect lips that he couldn’t get out of his head.

“Where are you going?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. Her face turned pale and emotionless as she thought of a response, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” she responded.

“I’m sorry.” He felt uncomfortable, not sure exactly what to say to her. They had never had an awkward silence before, and it made him sick as he waited in the quiet for her to respond.

“I probably should get going,” she finally said, setting her almost empty glass of wine down on the coffee table.

“Oh, c’mon, we just got some time alone…” he pleaded, but he could tell by the look on her face he had already lost her.

“I’m sorry, love. I just have a lot to prepare for this case.”

“I understand. Will I see you soon?”

“I’ll do my best, Agent.”

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California was a popular hot spot for serial killers. It seemed like Aaron and the team were there every other week. This time, San Francisco was the lucky city. He had already been there for two days, stuck on an incredibly weird case, when he got the call.

“Good morning, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke.

“A… it’s good to hear from you.” He was relieved at the sound of her voice, the dark energy of this specific case seeping into him, choking any optimism out of him.

“How are things?”

“I’m working on a tough case, to be honest. It’s taking a lot out of me.”

“Would it be better if I was there?”

“How is that possible?”

“I was… in the area. Set some time aside to stop by.”

“I’m going to be really busy…” he frowned, realizing now how difficult it would be to actually see her.

“Oh, Agent, I sure hope you can make time to see me,” she teased, giggling through the phone, her laugh wrapping him in warmth and shielding him from the darkness of reality for a moment.

“Well, I have to sleep at some point,” he responded, laughing himself.

“Call me when you get back to your hotel. I’ll be waiting.”

Aaron hung the phone up quickly, peeking around the corner of the SFPD office they were currently set up in. Luckily, everyone was too busy to listen in on his personal conversations. He wondered what his team would think if they knew what was going on behind closed doors. Would they still stand around and trust the system they were working so hard to uphold? Because Aaron could barely stomach it.

“Hey, we’ve got a problem,” Derek said, coming around the corner lookingfor his superior.

“What’s going on?”

“C’mon into the conference room. Garcia will explain everything.”

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He didn’t make it back to his hotel for another 12 hours. It was nearing 11 PM by the time he finally closed the door and could be done for the day. Although with his job, he was never really off the clock.

He called (Y/N), pushing aside any exhaustion he had for a moment with her. She was there within twenty minutes, sneaking through the door, giggling and kissing quietly, trying to be secretive. It was risky, extremely risky for them to be together with his team just on the other side of a thin hotel wall. But he couldn’t help himself. A part of him wanted to get caught, be exposed, so they could stop sneaking around. He wanted to love her in front of everyone.

He forgot about the case briefly as he lost himself in her flesh, kissing her soft skin and making love to her - twice. When the exhaustion finally overcame him, he crawled into her arms and let the horrors of his job overcome him.

“It’s a bad one, this case,” he divulged, knowing he shouldn’t be telling her the details, but needed a release. He needed to scream, and she was the only one around to hear.

“What’s going on?”

“Some CEO’s kid has been going all around the country killing teenage girls. Eevrytime the police get close to him, he just runs. Five different cities, and he’s escaped them all. Thirty six bodies that we can find. Probably more. And he’s going to get away, here, too. Garcia found out he sold his house a few days ago and bought one in Miami.”

“Well if you know it’s him, why aren’t you arresting him?” (Y/N) had a confused look on her face, her eyes wide and her lips forming a slight pout as she waited for him to respond.

“We don’t have enough physical evidence. He fits the profile perfectly, and we are able to trace bodies to him in every city he’s lived in. But that’s not good enough for the courts. He’s just going to keep getting away…” Aaron felt his heart pounding, the face of Foyet flashing over and over in his head.

“Sometimes… the system doesn’t help everybody.” She wasn’t looking at him, her eyes darting nervously around the room.

“That’s why people like you exist, right? To serve justice to those who escape it.”

“That’s one way of looking at it.”

Aaron looked at her, her cheeks flushed and her breathing sporadic. They were thinking the same thing, it was only a guessing game on who would break the silence first. He didn’t think it would be here, she was too nervous.

“(Y/N)...” he whispered, placing a hand on hers.

“What are you asking me to do, Agent?” She finally looked up at him, her face flat and emotionless, a side of her she had never shown him before. It was her work face, her business face.

“I want you to do your job, A.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“It’s the only way to stop him.”

“Okay. I’ll take care of it.” She got up out of the bed and started putting her clothes back on, slowly redressing herself as she prepared to go back to work. She grabbed one of the three phones she carried, hastily dialing a number and putting the old cell to her ear.

“Hey, it’s me. I need the car here ASAP, and the bag... Yeah, it’s a change of plans. … I’ll tell you in the car.” She hung the call up and put the phone back in her bag, refusing the look at Aaron the entire time she was preparing herself.

“You’re doing this now?” He laughed, getting up and trying to stop her from leaving. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, her body struggling to get away. She felt tense, tired. Her body was no longer surrounded by it’s usual warm glow. She was cold, and dark. She wasn’t her.

“Agent, if this is what you want, I need to handle it my way. Please let me go.”

“Will you… can I see you after?”

“I need to leave the city immediately after it’s done. And it’s best we don't talk for a bit. I can call you when I think things are safe.”

“How long is a bit? I mean, I don’t want to give you up.”

“You can’t have both, Aaron. Either I’m (Y/N) or I’m Ananke. Do you want more girls to die? Or do you want a girlfriend?” She was yelling, her voice a loud and intense version of itself that he was unfamiliar with. It made him dizzy. He sat down clumsily on the bed and put his face in his hands.

“Kill him,” he mumbled. She was quiet for a few seconds, and so was he. And awkward silence. Something they had never had. He felt like she was staring at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“I’ll call you when I can, Agent. It’s been wonderful working with you.”

Aaron swore as she walked out the door he could hear her cry. Maybe he was making it up to make himself feel better. There was no way she could walk away that easily and not … hurt. He hurt, so terribly bad. How long was a bit? A few weeks, months? Would he ever see her again?

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Aaron awoke to a loud banging on his door and his phone buzzing like crazy. The ringer was on, but not loud enough to awaken him from his alcohol assisted slumber. He shouldn’t be drinking on the job, he knew that rule better than anyone. But he had to shut his mind up.

He opened the door to a rattled Derek Morgan, his forehead sweating and hands shaking.

“You are not going to believe this,” Derek said, chuckling slightly.

“What’s going on, Morgan?” Aaron knew what he was going to say, but he had to pretend to be surprised. Would Derek know? He was by far the best profiler on the team. How long could Aaron keep up a lie before Derek figured something out?

“Our unsub died last night. Car accident. He hit a railing and his car just… exploded.” Derek held his tablet out to Hotch, showing him various photos from the scene. His car was completely crushed and torched. You could see his body, but there was absolutely no way to tell what was happening at the time of the accident. The damage of the car was far too elaborate to find any remnants of explosives- if that’s what she used. But whatever she did, it was brilliant. There was no way anyone would think twice about this. She was brilliant.

He could feel himself smiling, being impressed with her work- but he remembered Derek was still standing there, unknowing of the secrets Aaron held.

“Well, I guess we can finally get the hell out of San Francisco,” Aaron laughed.

“You think this is the end? He just dies in a freak accident and it's over? Are we that lucky, Hotch?” Derek’s eyebrows were furrowed in the classic way his face always looked when he was suspicious.

“He’s not around to hurt anyone else, and that’s the end of it. Our jobs are done here. I want wheels up in an hour.”

Derek just nodded in agreement with his supervisor, realizing it wasn’t worth the argument. Aaron was right, the bad guy was gone and that was good enough for him.

Aaron closed the door to his hotel, grabbing his phone and dialing her number. He had assumed she’d already disconnected the line, severing their connection for the time. But it rang, and somebody answered.

“A…?” he whispered, waiting for her voice.

“You shouldn’t be calling this number,” a man responded, a voice he recognized as Jays.

“I know, I know, but please. Please just tell her something for me.” Jay was silent for a moment, deciding what to do.

“... What?” He asked, quietly.

“Please just tell her I said thank you. For everything.”

And then the phone disconnected. The call was over. She was gone. For who knows how long?

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One week later, SSA Aaron Hotchner was sitting in his office when Erin Strauss walked through his door. She didn’t knock, which made him jump. She walked right in and sat down on his couch, taking a deep breath. A disappointed sigh.

“Hello, Erin.”

“Agent Hotcher.” She looked at him angrily, her lips pursed and eyes tight as she thought of her words.

“What can I do for you?”

“In all honesty, Aaron… did you think we wouldn’t find out? You are a federal agent. Your passport is flagged any time you enter a foreign country. You were in Paris at the same time as her. And then San Francisco? She was there on assignment and your uncatchable unsub just happens to turn up dead?”

“Am I fired?” He asked, his only thought on what they were doing to her.

“Aaron… what are you doing? You are losing yourself! If this is about Haley…”

“Just tell me something. What are you going to do to her?” He bit his lip nervously, Erin avoiding his eye contact.

“Right now she’s being relocated, on a six month assignment. We’ll see what happens after that.”

“Where?”

“You know I can’t tell you that!”

Aaron sat for a moment, completely unsure of what to say next. Maybe Erin was right, he had lost himself. He would’ve never imagined himself in this situation.

“What do I do now?”

“You move on. And you do your job, the right way. I’ll cut you some slack this time, Aaron. But if this happens again… there will be consequences. Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Erin walked out of his office quietly, closing the door as she left. He waited a moment, a long moment, before pulling out his phone. He had to at least try to talk to her. Even if the number didn’t work. He had to try.

But it rang. And this time he knew it was her who answered.

“Agent.” She answered sharply.

“Where are you?”

“I’m still in DC, as of now.”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

“You know it doesn’t work like that. Either I go, or they send me to prison. I’m sorry, Aaron. But this… was destined to fail from the beginning.”

“No, (Y/N). I don’t accept that. I love you.”

“You can’t. I’m sorry, Agent. This is goodbye.”

#vicficwriterchallenge #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfiction

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mcfiddlestan · 4 years ago

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WinterFrost Single Dads AU

Okay, I promised you a second chapter. Contains a flashback scene so...there's that, lol. Still looking for suggestions for a title.

xoxo, La

P.S. I'm totally working on a banner too. 🖤

Pairing: Loki x Bucky Barnes (there are others past and future, but I’m not giving them away just yet)

Rating: M

Word count: 2,712

Summary: Loki is living a great life as a Manhattan lawyer and constantly partying with Tony Stark, his best friend. Loki’s life before he came to New York more than a decade ago is a mystery for those close to him. But it’s all about to come to light when he gets a call from someone in his past.

Bucky is just trying to catch a break. A few hookups with a fellow soldier led to a quickie marriage and baby – and two years later, a quick divorce. His daughter is now eight years old and the light of his life. But he can’t seem to get his shit together. Struggling to find a job and keep a hold on his sobriety, it’s a one-night stand that gives him the kick in the ass he needs to be the man his daughter believes he is.

Warnings: Mature language and situations, some drug use, and talk about addiction.

Read chapter one here.

Chapter 2

“It’s good to hear your voice, brother. After all this time.”

Loki was silent, struggling to find his words. Finally, he let out a short, frustrated breath and pressed his fingers to the dull ache still pulsating at his temple. “Let’s not pretend to reminisce, Thor. It’s been far too long for that.” Thor let out an anxious chuckle over the line. “What’s so urgent that you called four times? And left no message.”

“Ah, Loki. I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“What is it? Just say it. I’m sure it’s not as difficult as you might think. Is Odin on his deathbed?”

Silence. “…Loki.”

“I can’t imagine he’d encourage you to call me with the news.”

“Loki.”

“I highly doubt it would be my face he would want to see as his last image before he finally leaves this earth.”

“Loki!”

“What?!”

Thor sighed, muttered a curse in Norwegian. “For Norn’s sake, I didn’t call you to talk about Odin.” Loki remained quiet this time, waiting. When Thor spoke again, his voice was lower and thick with emotion. “It’s…it’s Sigyn. She’s gone.”

Loki’s breath released in one big whoosh. His hand moved, pressed to the center of his chest, where a sharp pain began to bloom. “Wh—what? I—when?”

“Yesterday.”

“But…” She’s only thirty-two years old, he thought. She’s still so young. Loki made incomprehensible noises for a moment, too many questions springing into his mind. Finally, he settled on one. “H…how?”

“Uh, a brain hemorrhage. She was in a car accident a few days ago. She seemed fine, with no visible injuries. And then…she wouldn’t wake up. By the time we got her to the hospital…it was too late.”

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the phone away from his ear, pressing his mouth to his wrist to muffle his cry.

“Loki?” Thor’s voice reached him.

“Yes, I—” He had to catch his breath. “Why didn’t anyone call me sooner? What about the boys? Were they with her in the car? Are they all right?”

“No, they weren’t with her. They’re just fine. Well, as fine as two young boys can be after losing their mother.” Thor went quiet as Loki struggled to contain his tears and hide his sniffling. “Loki, Sigyn left a will.”

Loki cleared his throat and mopped at his face with his sleeve. “She what?”

“Her attorney contacted Mother because she’s listed as a contact for the boys, and he says she left some instructions. He’s asked that you and Mother, and any other family, get together so he may let us know what she wished to happen following her…death.”

Loki went quiet again. What instructions? “Right.” Whatever they were, Loki couldn’t deal with it at the moment. “Erm, listen, Thor, I’m going to have my assistant call you later. If you could get all the information for her arrangements to him — times and dates and the location’s address so I can send some flowers ahead — I’d appreciate it. I’m going to try to find the next flight out. I’ll let you know when I arrive.”

Thor hesitated. “Well, Loki, there’s something I have to —”

“We’ll talk when I get there, all right. I promise. Thank you for calling, Thor.” Loki ended the call before Thor could say more. Dropping the phone to the coffee table before him and his head in his hands, Loki fell back on the sofa, letting the tears come. As Loki let the grief overwhelm him, he thought back to the last time he saw Sigyn — the one he always considered got away.

----------------------------------------------

“You can’t just leave with them! Those are my children!”

“Yes, I can. They are my children, too.” Sigyn stood still in the small living room of their tiny house while Loki paced around her. His breath came in short huffs; his pale cheeks had gone red. She’d never seen Loki this upset in the entire time they’d known each other. Barely three years. “Don’t you see it’s better this way for everybody?”

Loki suddenly stopped before her, demanding to know how it was better. Sigyn jolted at his sharpened tone, and he forced himself to reign in his temper. “It’s not better for me,” he said in a softer yet still tense voice.

“Will you please calm down, darling?”

Loki scoffed and started pacing again. “Sigyn, don’t use that tone with me. Where are you going to go? Back home to your father?”

Sigyn breathed in, letting it out on a soft sigh. She was waiting for the question. And dreading his response to — well, all of it. “Yes. For now. He and Mamma are making space for us as we speak. Loki, you’re not welcome here anymore.” She swallowed when he turned those hard emerald eyes on her. “Do you not see how you’re now ostracized? Everybody blames you for Baldur’s — accident.”

Loki continued to glare, even as his eyes filled. “You said you believed me.”

“I do.”

“Baldur had many more issues than anyone in this family was willing to hear about or deal with, and I tried to help him; I was the only one who would listen. I didn’t know he grabbed it! How was I to know that he would —“

“You were there!” Sigyn’s frustration and pain came through her words, too. “That was enough — for most people. Your very presence was enough to place the blame where they can find no other. I know, Loki. I know no one knew him as you did. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to blame you and not him. But — your children — our children cannot grow up in that shadow, Loki. They’ll never have a chance.”

All the fight left in Loki vanished at that moment; he had been defeated. He knew Sigyn, the light of his life, the woman he didn’t know he’d always wanted, was right, but still… “What am I supposed to do?” he asked, his voice small, his eyes welling.

Sigyn’s eyes filled, as well, and she stepped forward, reaching for Loki’s hands. “Live your life, my darling.” Loki met her gaze directly. “You won’t have much of a chance here either. Odin will make sure you don’t.” He nodded. “You had so many plans to make something of yourself, to be more than your father’s legacy. Don’t let any of this stop you.”

Loki sniffled, shook his head, gripping Sigyn’s hand as if it was his only lifeline. “How? How am I supposed to do any of it without you?”

Sigyn smiled through watery eyes when Loki looked into her eyes again. “Take what’s left of your inheritance.” Loki cocked a brow. “Odin won’t fight you on that. And you don’t need me, Loki. You never have. Remember what we said?”

He briefly closed his eyes before looking up to the ceiling, almost as if in prayer, nodding. “We are strong on our own, just stronger together.”

“Right,” she agreed softly.

Loki’s breath hitched. “But what if I don’t feel like that anymore, Sigyn? What if I don’t…” his voice broke, and when he spoke again, it was in a cracking whisper. “What if I don’t know how to live without you?”

Sigyn buried her face in Loki’s chest then, fitting into his side like two jigsaw puzzle pieces coming together perfectly. “You’ll learn,” she all but croaked. “You’ll adapt, just as you always have done.” She tipped her head back to smile up at him, even as a tear escaped down the side of her cheek. “You’re a survivor, my Loki. You always have a plan.”

Loki grinned, brushing away the tear, moving his fingers across Sigyn’s skin to brush at the soft curling hairs at her temple. “And where do you suggest I go, my Sigyn? Min kjære.” His eyes filled again. “Since you seem to have all the answers.”

Sigyn stepped back, raised her hand, pressing it to the side of Loki’s face, as much to bring his eyes back to her as to dry the tears sliding down his sharp-angled cheek. “Anywhere. Everywhere. London. Paris. Rome. You always wanted to go to America.”

Loki took another shaky breath as he pulled her hand from his face, twisting his wrists to hold both of her hands against his chest. “Who am I if I’m not your partner? Or their father?”

“You are Loki Laufeyson. You are your own man.”

Loki scoffed again, with much more disgust this time. “Norns. I hate that name.”

“Then change it.”

The tears subsided; Loki let out a weak chuckle and lifted his brows in question. “Change it? To what?”

Sigyn grinned softly, shrugged, and stepped back further, gently tugging her hands from Loki’s grasp. “To whatever you want, min skatt. I know you won’t take Odinson. You could take my name.” They grinned at each other. “Maybe Friggasson?”

Loki breathed a chuckle, then paused. His breathing had finally calmed. But his heart still ached, his stomach still twisted in knots. “Are you sure about this, Siggy?”

She smiled even as her eyes filled with tears again. Her chin trembled, and it was all Loki could do not to grab her close and hold her. “No,” she answered, her voice wavering, “but I know it’s what I have to do for my boys.”

Loki knew he was fighting a losing battle. His heart was breaking, but he had to accept this, his new fate. They stood there, facing each other, in silence, both knowing it was time for this to end but neither knowing how to do it.

“I should probably get going. I have a long drive ahead of me.”

“Sigyn —” Loki stopped her, touching his fingers to her arm before she could move away. She looked up at him, her big blue eyes questioning, and, almost automatically, turned, so her hand rested on his forearm. Loki tugged her closer, lifting his hands to frame her face. Unsure what to say, Loki simply tilted up her chin and laid his lips on hers. Sigyn made a slight noise in her throat, but she didn’t pull away, and Loki slipped his hands into her wavy copper hair, deepening the kiss. Moments later, Sigyn eased her mouth away.

“Loki. Stop.”

He kept her close, resting his forehead on hers. “Come with me. Please? We’ll take the boys. We’ll go somewhere — anywhere you want.”

“Loki. No,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to leave my home.”

“You are leaving your home,” Loki insisted. He felt Sigyn pull further away, and this time, reluctantly, he let her go.

“I need to go. Do…” Sigyn’s breath hitched, and she did her best to dry her eyes and cheeks. “Do you want to say goodbye to the boys?”

Loki had turned away, a hand covering his face, but he looked at Sigyn now, with tears in his eyes, and nodded.

Sigyn walked out of the room and disappeared down the hallway. When she emerged again, she headed back into the living room, this time holding the hand of a dark-haired boy just over a year old who toddled beside her and another boy, an infant with lighter, reddish wisps of hair, nestled in the crook of her arm.

Loki smiled as best he could, reaching for the baby they’d named Valí, wiggling in Sigyn’s arms, and fought tears as he pressed his lips to the baby’s forehead. He whispered to him in Norwegian as Valí, just a few months old, blinked up at him with dark-blue eyes. Sigyn moved forward to take Valí, and Loki bent to pick up his oldest son, Narfi.

Narfi let out a giggle and immediately wrapped his short arms around Loki’s neck. Loki kissed his cheek, running a hand over his short dark curls. “Take care of your Mamma. And know that your Papa loves you. Always,” he managed on a broken whisper.

Sigyn, Loki was somewhat relieved to see, was fighting her own tears, wiping at her face again as Loki set Narfi on his feet. “We never said this was going to be forever, Loki.”

Loki sniffled as he nodded and tried to regain his composure. “No, we didn’t. But I was counting on it. It would be nice if just one thing in my life were permanent.”

Sigyn reached for Narfi’s hand, and together, they started for the door. Unsure how he would make it through these next few minutes, Loki moved ahead of them to hold the door open.

“Will you call me when you get there?”

Sigyn stopped beside him and shook her head. “No, Loki. I’m afraid this goodbye has to be it.”

Loki nodded. She was barely over the threshold when he snagged her hand, the one holding Narfi’s tiny one. “I love you, Sigyn. I always have, and I always will. And if you ever change your mind…” He left the rest of the sentence dangle between them.

Sigyn nodded, tears welling and spilling. “I’m so sorry things had to be this way. I want you to know that I will love you until my dying day, Loki.”

His breath hitched again. Loki unwillingly released Sigyn, and a hand flew up to his mouth as he tried to stifle the cry that inevitably escaped him. He stood there — he didn't know long — until the sound of Sigyn’s car had long faded into the distance.

----------------------------------------------

Loki was self-aware enough to know the day Sigyn left had changed him significantly. After that, he stopped looking for love or any kind of meaningful connection beyond friendship. He took Sigyn’s advice, and after securing his inheritance from Odin, who readily and happily released it, Loki left for America. And he never looked back. He earned his law degree and managed to establish himself as a ruthless and successful attorney over the next ten years.

Loki met the infamous Tony Stark in the first year of his arrival to New York at a party on campus. Tony wasn’t a student — in fact, he was a couple of years older than Loki — but he was somehow popular with everyone, Loki found. After a very brief dalliance, they remained close friends, and years later, when Tony’s father Howard died, Tony inherited Howard’s multi-million dollar, multinational company, Stark Industries, and hired Loki as his in-house counsel. Together, Loki and Tony lived two very different versions of bachelor life. Tony, a known playboy, none too discreetly kept a busy schedule of beauties, both male and female, rotating through his bedroom door. Whereas Loki, who never directly declared his sexuality yet neither ignored a mutual attraction to whatever gender or sexuality presented itself, kept his private business private. They’d indulged themselves in anything and everything, bringing along Tony’s friends, Pepper Potts and James Rhodes. In their wildest years, there were entire days Loki couldn’t remember.

Waking from a deep sleep brought on by the exhaustion of grief and his crying, in what was now late afternoon if the sun’s position meant anything, Loki abruptly decided a night of indulgence was precisely the kind of distraction he needed. He reached for his phone again, ignoring the messages and missed calls from Fandral and what he recognized as the number where he had reached Thor, and dialed Tony’s number from memory. “Stark. Get dressed. I’ll be at the Tower in fifteen minutes. I need your expertise.”

Loki used Tony’s influence all over the city that night, though his own name carried as much if not equal prestige in some places. They went to various clubs, private establishments, and the occasional bar or pub, looking for anything that would provide a good time. Loki had never been a big drinker and only dabbled in recreational drug use, but he was chucking everything aside tonight, hoping to kill the deep-seated ache in his heart that Sigyn’s passing had left behind.

They picked up a few people along the way, creating their own little entourage. And as usual, it was Tony who seemed to be enjoying himself more than anyone. But it was later in the evening, in a dark little bar in Brooklyn Heights, that Loki would find the exact kind of distraction for which he’d been searching.

#WinterFrost Single Dads AU #winterfrost #yay i wrote a thing #my fic #loki x bucky #questions & comments are welcome

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lunasquared · 4 years ago

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Protect the Ones You Love (Save Them From the Hurt)

By @lost-lunar-wolf for @potts89 ( @friendly-neighborhood-exchange)

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts

Summary:

“Peter, Tony seems like a really nice guy, we’ve been talking for weeks now-”

“You’ve been talking for weeks? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Pete,” Virginia sighed, resting her hands on Peter’s shoulders and looking him in the eye. “I wasn’t sure if it was even going to go anywhere."

After starting a new life and opening a cafe in New York, Peter gets a little worried and protective when his mom starts dating again. If only Tony didn't seem so dang perfect.

AO3 Link

Living in the city was very different from living in other places. Peter knew that very well even though for most of his life he had lived in the city. Before living in the city he and his mom had moved around a bit while he was younger before finally settling down in New York City after some particularly rough years.

Even for him and his mom living in the city was different for them than it was for others because many people worked some sort of corporate job while his mom opened and ran a small cafe only a few blocks from Grand Central called Caffè e Dolci. It was a small hole in the wall type place on the outside but the inside was a good size filled with lots of seating and had different plants hanging around with vines that framed the windows and pictures. Peter’s favorites were the Queen Marble Pothos that framed the picture of Venice Italy.

Overall though, the cafe did pretty well. In the mornings there was a rush as people made their way to work then it slowed down a bit then picked up again around lunch time then from there the cafe was typically on the slower side until closing. Though on weekdays Peter was never there for the lunch rush or part of the morning rush because of school. But after school and on weekends Peter would always work in the cafe to help his mom. He enjoyed helping his mom in the cafe, it meant he got to bake almost all the time and make coffees and different drinks and secretly snack on some of the foods he baked and it also meant he got to spend time with his mom. It was enjoyable to say the least. A lot of work yes, but enjoyable overall.

Typically after work for the day, Peter and his mom would head upstairs to their small apartment above the cafe and have dinner together before Peter started on his homework. It was nothing big or fancy, but it was enough for him and his mom and Peter couldn’t ask for anything more.

But that was a typical day, and today was not a typical day. It was a change in their routine and Peter didn’t like change.

“Wait you’re going on a date?” Peter clarified after his mom had said she was going out with someone.

“I guess it’s a date.” Virginia said, pulling her hair out of its tight bun as she and Peter walked up to the apartment.

“Mom are you sure that’s a good idea?” Peter pressed slightly.

He was worried to say the least. Maybe it was just him being over protective of his mom but-

“Peter, Tony seems like a really nice guy, we’ve been talking for weeks now-”

“You’ve been talking for weeks? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Pete,” Virginia sighed, resting her hands on Peter’s shoulders and looking him in the eye. “I wasn’t sure if it was even going to go anywhere. Tony’s a regular, he normally comes in right after the lunch rush and we just— I don’t know, we hit it off and today he asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him and I said yes because he seems like a very genuine guy and I like him.”

“I’m happy for you mom. I just, I don’t want you to get hurt again. It was-”

“I know Peter, but I don’t think Tony is like that. I wouldn’t have said yes if I had any doubt. I’ll give you the restaurant address and I’ll share my location with you so you can make sure I’m okay if that would make you feel better.” Virginia laughed ruffling Peter’s hair. “Heck if you’re that worried I’ll even let you sit across the street to spy on us if you want.”

“Do you want me to?” Peter questioned.

“No, but if that’s what it will take to make sure you’re not sitting here pacing a hole in the floor then that’s what you’ll do.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine here, just, yeah restaurant address and stuff.”

“I love you Peter.” Virginia said softly, placing a light kiss on Peter’s forehead.

“I love you too mom, now go get ready for your date.”

***

Just because Peter didn’t spy on his mom's date, did not mean he wasn’t worried out of his mind. The entire time she was gone Peter was on the couch, not pacing a hole in the floor per his mothers request, with his phone next to him open with her location. Peter didn’t officially meet the guy, Tony apparently, before they left, but he did catch a glimpse of him out the window and okay Tony did look like a nice guy and he gave his mom a small bouquet of orchids, which are her favorite but not important, but what is important is that his mom did look happy and the guy looked equally as happy if not even a little shy.

But aside from his worry, Peter did manage to get his homework done, but having nothing to do meant he was sitting with his phone constantly refreshing the location to make sure everything was okay. He tried watching a movie, but that failed miserably as he didn’t pay any attention to the tv screen at all. By the end of the night Peter did end up pacing around the apartment until he heard the lock turn around 11:30 and he stopped in his tracks, his eyes fixated on the door until his mom walked inside and locked the door behind her.

“So?” Peter questioned taking notice of his mom’s expression slightly worried by the unreadable look until she broke out into a smile.

“It was really good. We’re gonna go out again sometime soon.”

“And he’s nice?”

“Really nice.” She confirmed placing the small bouquet of orchids in a vase.

“I’m happy for you mom. I really hope it goes well for you.”

“Thanks Peter. I’m happy too.” Virginia smiled and pulled her kid into a hug. “Now bedtime, we have to get up early tomorrow if you wanna make those chocolate croissants you were talking about before school.”

***

Virginia and Tony had been going out for a few months now and Peter was happy for them, he really was. His mom was happier than he had seen her in a long time and the few times he had seen Tony, he seemed like a good guy. But the only problem was Peter hadn’t really met him. He knew they were taking their relationship kind of slow, which wasn’t an issue at all, but Peter did want to meet the guy before— well before things went on longer and he could know if Tony was actually a good guy or not. And well he also kind of wanted to meet the guy that was kind of taking time away from him and his mom. Peter knew he couldn’t complain, he still got his mom in the mornings and most days after school, but it was starting to become more of a regular thing for his mom to go out with Tony at night instead of hanging out with him. But he would never tell his mom that. She’s happy and it’s not like Peter doesn’t get anytime with her at all, he’s just being selfish that’s all.

“Peter!” Virginia called when Peter walked into the cafe after school.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” Peter greeted giving his mom a quick hug before setting his stuff down behind the counter and tying an apron around his waist so he could start prepping some of the bakery items for the next day. Typically he would just get up a little early in the mornings before school to prep everything for the day, but on the weekends they tended to have larger crowds so Peter liked to have some stuff ready the night before so he could bake it in the morning and help his mom out a bit more on the floor rather than being in the kitchen the whole time baking.

“So you know how Tony and I have been going out for a few months now.” Virginia started, and helped Peter pull out some of the ingredients she knew he would need. “Well I was thinking that it might be a good time for you to meet him.”

“Yeah, I think that would be good.” Peter agreed. “When were you thinking?”

“Tonight?”

“I mean- yeah that’s fine, I have a little homework that I want to get done tonight, but that’s fine, I can probably finish beforehand.”

“You sure tonight is okay?” Virginia questioned. “Because I can tell him we have to reschedule.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah tonight’s fine, worst case I do some of my homework over the weekend.”

“Okay well, he’ll be here around 6:30-7.” Virginia said and pressed a light kiss to Peter’s temple. “I’m excited for you to meet him.”

“Yeah me too.”

***

Right as Peter finished up his homework he heard a knock on the door knowing it was Tony. Part of him was glad that they weren’t going out, but at the same time Peter wasn’t too fond of having a stranger in their apartment. And while technically Tony wasn’t a stranger to his mom he was to Peter. He didn’t like strangers in his home, but he guessed that it was better than going out or going to Tony’s place.

He heard talking in the kitchen which let him know that his mom had let Tony in but there was no way-

“Peter, come on out to meet Tony!” His mom called, and that was what he was waiting for, to be told to come out and not go on his own.

There was no other reason for that other than he didn’t want to seem anxious or eager to meet Tony. He was, but he didn’t want Tony knowing that.

Peter walked out of his room and into the kitchen trying his best to conceal his anxiousness, though he knew it showed in the fidgeting in his hands — he wasn’t really sure what else to do with them.

“Hi.” Peter greeted with a little wave when he got to the kitchen. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to finally meet you as well.” Tony said, offering his hand for Peter to shake which he accepted. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good things I hope.” Peter said with a little chuckle.

“I can assure they were.”

“That’s good to hear, I’ve heard very little about you.”

“Oh?” Tony questioned.

“Just a few things, nothing like my mom was dating Tony Stark or anything.” Peter said with a glance over to his mom who just smiled and shrugged.

“I guess it never really came up.” Virginia laughed. “Well dinner is ready if you guys are ready to eat. We’ve got spaghetti aglio e olio and garlic bread.”

“Thank you for cooking. I bet it will be delicious.” Tony said following Peter’s lead of sitting down at the table.

Tony got lucky he didn’t sit in Virginia's spot.

“Thanks mom.” Peter said as his mom sat down at the table bringing the large bowl of pasta with her.

For the most part dinner went smoothly, it wasn’t nearly as awkward as Peter was expecting it to be. He was also proud and somewhat surprised of himself that he wasn’t freaking out over the fact that Tony freaking Stark was sitting at his table eating dinner with him and his mom. Here Tony seemed like just a normal guy not the one that was always shown on TV. But just because it was Tony Stark did not mean Peter still wasn’t worried about his mom. Of course he was she’s his mom, and he wanted to protect her and make sure no one hurt her, even if he knew she could take care of herself. To an extent he was still a bit wary of Tony. He knew a bit about Tony’s past, though that was his past, and Peter had noticed in the more recent years that wasn’t who Tony was anymore, and he knew people could change, so he wouldn’t judge Tony for that.

All of that aside, Peter was a little upset his mom hadn’t told him more about Tony. It wasn’t that his mom was required to tell him everything there was to know about Tony, heck he didn’t expect her to. But his mom barely talked about him to the point where Peter knew they were together because they would go out a couple times a week, but Peter knew little to nothing about the guy. Virginia was happy and honestly that was all Peter cared about, but he wished that his mom had told him a little more about Tony.

“So Peter, are you enjoying school?” Tony asked, and Peter panicked a little as he was mid chew but Tony kept going which made him relax slightly. “You’re mom said you were going to Midtown tech, that’s a really great school.”

Peter nodded as he swallowed his food. “Yeah I enjoy it. It’s a bit — I don’t know-” He trailed off trying to think of the right word.

“Hard?” Tony supplied questioningly.

“More like boring.” Peter settled on.

“Oh?”

Peter only shrugged and took another bite of pasta.

“Peter is at the top of all of his classes.” Virginia supplied with a proud smile in Peter’s direction.

Peter ducked his head at the praise. “I usually already know what they are teaching and if not I tend to pick up on it pretty fast. Top of the class isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Kid that’s amazing! That’s a hard spot to get, it takes a lot of effort to get there.”

Peter only shrugged, he had never been the best at accepting compliments of any sort. “I mean — I don’t know — I’m not really interested in a lot of the stuff they teach. I prefer chemistry and robotics and engineering type stuff. Yeah we have a robotics club at school and I’m taking chemistry, but like I said I already know most of that stuff so it’s a little boring.”

“Pepper, your kid is a genius!” Tony exclaimed.

Peter shot a questioning glance between Tony and his mom. “Who’s Pepper?” Peter asked, making no effort to hide the sass or maybe it was disapproval? In his voice.

“Peter.” Virginia said sternly, immediately making Peter back down. “It’s a nickname, it’s not a big deal.”

“But-” Peter started before cutting himself off when his mom gave a slight head tilt and eyebrow raise, he knew it was irrational to be upset over something like a nickname, but part of him felt like maybe he was trying to find something to not like Tony over. He seemed to… nice. Too nice. Too good to be true. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Tony assured. “Giving people nicknames is just something I do. I can stop if you don’t like it.”

This guy would be the death of Peter! He was too nice! There had to be something wrong! They were never this nice and had no baggage. Something always went wrong if they were this nice.

“No it’s all good. I’m just not used to people giving my mom nicknames that’s all.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments and Peter internally cursed at himself and balled his hands into fists for causing it. Of course he would be the one to mess it up. He was so focused on trying to find something about Tony that wasn’t good and protecting his mom, he forgot that his mom was actually happy.

“Peter,” Virginia said, breaking the silence. “Tony was telling me the other day about some of the stuff he’s working on. I think you’d find it interesting.” She shifted her attention to Tony. “As long as you’re able to share.”

Tony nodded eagerly. “Yeah so right now I’m working on a Binarily Retro-Framing type thing — holographs if you will — but I’m currently working on transforming its usage for therapeutic purposes.”

“Was that not its intention?” Peter questioned.

“Yes and no. That was my original intention for it, however one of the technicians working on the prototype was trying to have it be used for something else. I can’t go into much more detail, but long story short they were found to be unfit to continue working on the project and other projects and were laid off.”

“Are you trying to make it into like a trauma therapy of sorts?”

“Exactly. I’m still working out some of the major issues, but it’s usable. I’m mainly trying to ensure that when it comes to actually using it for trauma, it’s completely safe and the person using it understands that as well. It basically hijacks your hippocampus which isn’t the most fun experience, so I’m working on ensuring it doesn’t tap into the brain too much while it’s still doing its job. Right now it’s glitching so you can’t choose the memory it plays. You can typically get out of it easily by yourself and still be aware it’s a memory, but the problem is you don’t know what it will be until it forms and that’s a big problem.”

“Yeah that makes sense.” Peter agreed with a nod. “You want to make sure it gets into the hippocampus enough to pull a specific memory and be able to live through it, while still being aware it isn’t real and having enough awareness within that to get out whenever needed.”

“Precisely.” Tony confirmed. “You should come over sometime to check it out. Heck maybe you’d be able figure out some of the parts I’m struggling with.”

“That- that sounds fun. Mom is that okay?”

“Yeah that’s perfectly fine.” Virginia agreed. “Tony is there a day that works well for you?”

“I’d have to check to be completely sure, but I’m pretty sure I'm free next Wednesday.”

“I guess it works out that you don’t have anything after school on Wednesday.” Virginia smiled at Peter. “That work for you?”

“Y-yeah that’s good.”

“Is it okay if I have Happy pick him up from school on Wednesday then?” Tony asked. “I would feel bad if he had to take the subway, or if not I could grab him if you wanted.”

“Happy can grab him, that's fine.”

“Uh who’s Happy?” Peter questioned looking between the two adults.

“Happy is my driver and bodyguard.” Tony answered.

“Wait does that mean-”

“No, I drove here, so he’s doing whatever he does on his off time. Happy mainly drives me to events or more high profile type things.” Tony explained.

Peter nodded. That made sense, well kinda, it really didn’t, but then again Peter had never known someone who had a driver or bodyguard.

The rest of dinner went smoothly. Peter got to learn a little bit more about how his mom and Tony met and how that led to dating. It was all kinda lovey dovey mushy stuff that Peter was sure they were exaggerating on just to make him uncomfortable, but he was happy for them. They seemed happy together and Peter liked seeing his mom happy. He hadn’t seen her this happy in a long time.

***

Wednesday couldn’t come fast enough and now that it was here Peter couldn’t seem to shake off the nerves. He was going to Tony freaking Stark’s lab, which is the coolest thing he’s ever done in his life. And well technically he hasn’t done that yet as he was outside of his school waiting for this Happy person to pick him up. Both Pepper and Tony had told him to look for a larger guy in a suit driving a black Audi.

Peter was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a horn honk and saw a guy step out of black Audi and make eye contact with Peter.

“Are you Pepper’s kid?” The man, who Peter assumed was Happy, who didn’t look very happy, asked.

“Uh yeah.” Peter answered slightly cringing at the nickname for his mom. “Yeah, I’m Virginia’s kid.”

“Tony said he’ll meet us at the Tower, he’s finishing up a meeting so…” Happy trailed off and nodded towards the car and Peter took that as a sign to get in.

Peter got in the back seat and went to introduce himself a bit better to Happy, but the man put up the divider between them and Peter sunk down in his seat. The ride to the tower was uneventful and Happy didn’t roll down the divider at all. For a man who’s name (nickname?) is Happy he doesn’t seem very happy Peter decided.

When they arrived at the Tower Peter got out of the back seat and thanked Happy when he rolled down the window.

“Will Tony meet me down here?” Peter asked before Happy could roll up the window.

“Yeah Tony should be down in a minute.” Happy answered rolling up the window before Peter could say anything else.

As if on cue the elevator behind Peter dinged and the kid spun around right in time to see Tony walk out.

“Hey kid!” Tony greeted. “Ready to head up?”

“Y-yeah I’m ready.” Peter replied following Tony back into the elevator. “Is Happy always like that?”

“Like what?”

“Not happy?”

“Ah,” Tony nodded in understanding. “He’s like that until you get to know him so don’t take it personally. I promise he’s not always like that.”

“It’s okay, I just thought I may have done something wrong.”

The rest of the elevator ride was filled with silence that Peter was sure he was making awkward as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands fidgeting behind his back. Peter wasn’t sure what type of lab he was expecting when the elevator doors opened but it sure as heck wasn’t what he saw before him. He slowly trailed behind Tony as the man walked out of the elevator and put in a code that opened a sliding glass door that led into the lab.

Peter stood in the entryway of the lab his eyes wide and his mouth slightly hung open as he took in the sight before him. The lab was huge, filled with machines Peter could have only dreamed of ever seeing. There were holographs scattered in different places, that Peter could only assume were part of projects Tony was working on. In one corner there were a few bots that were beeping excitedly at the sight of Tony and in the other was a half taken apart car. The whole thing was such a dream for Peter. He never in his life thought he would one day see a lab as advanced as this let alone a lab much bigger than his small corner in his room where he worked on projects he pulled from dumpsters.

“Like it kid?” Tony asked with a small chuckle as he pat one of the bots on the claw.

“This is amazing.” Peter breathed taking a few cautious steps further into the lab.

“Yeah it’s pretty amazing.” Tony laughed coming back towards Peter and away from the bots. “You wanna see something cool?”

Peter only nodded still too in shock to get many words out.

“Jarvis?” Tony said with a glint in his voice that Peter had never heard before and a smile on his face that was similar, yet very different, from the one Tony had around his mom.

“Welcome back sir.” A voice with a british accent said and Peter looked up to the ceiling trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. “And welcome Peter, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh you too?” Peter said back questionably before looking over to Tony. “What is that and how does he know my name?”

“That’s Jarvis, he’s an AI,” Tony explained. “He runs the lab and the entire tower and he knows everything.”

“And what exactly does he do?”

“He does pretty much anything. Here he helps me run different diagnostics for whatever I’m working on to make sure it doesn’t blow up, and other times he’s just someone to talk to. Obviously he does a lot more than just those things but that does sum it up pretty well.”

“That’s so cool! Does Jarvis help you with your Binarily Retro-Framing thing?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, so how it works is— actually I think it would make more sense if I showed you what I’m talking about while explaining.” Tony started walking and motioned for Peter to follow him. “So over here I have a room that is dedicated to B.A.R.F.-”

“B.A.R.F.?” Peter questioned internally cursing at himself for cutting Tony off. “Sorry.”

“No apologies, it's a valid question.” Tony assured. “B.A.R.F. or Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, and yes I know I need to work on that acronym, but that’s what I’m calling it for now. Anyways I have a room dedicated to it because of how it works.”

Tony opened a door at the other end of the lab and Peter followed him inside. It was a simple square room with a small cut out section with glass that allowed one to see to the rest of the room.

“Why a room like this?” Peter asked.

“It uses drones to project the memory into the room.” Tony explained. “With a set up like this, it helps contain everything and it ensures that nothing gets destroyed anywhere else in case the person using it starts to panic and it also makes sure a second person who is helping with controls doesn’t get hurt and can shut it down if needed.”

“That’s smart. Having like a backup thing.” Peter said half not paying attention as he took a glance over some of the controls. “So how exactly does it work?”

“Like I said it uses drones to project the memory, but you use a special pair of glasses that I created to actually access that memory through the hippocampus. Once the memory is accessed, the glasses and drones are linked and the drones will project it. Then the controls you see here,” Tony gestured to the control panel that Peter was studying before. “These are for the outside person to manually control the drones if needed. It can shut them off or rewind the memory or go to a different part, things like that.”

“That’s amazing that you can even do something like this. But you said you were having some problems with the memory access?”

“Kind of. Since dinner when I was telling you about it I got it working a little better where you can choose the type of memory, but from there you can’t choose a specific one, which is still an issue.”

“And being able to get out of that memory?” Peter asked.

“That part is working great now. As long as the person is aware they are not actually in that situation and are experiencing it through B.A.R.F. they can shut it down easily by themselves. Even if they aren’t completely aware, by taking off the glasses it shuts down the system.”

“That-” Peter trailed off his hands ghosting over the controls before turning back to face Tony who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets watching Peter. “Sorry I’m just- this is insane, I’m just trying to process it all.”

“You’re alright kid, take your time, it is a lot to process.”

Peter looked over the controls and at some of the drones for the next few minutes before turning back to Tony. “How exactly are you fixing the memory override thing?”

“Ah yes that part, here I can show you what I’m attempting to do back in the main part of the lab.” Tony said, pushing off of the wall and going back out into the main part of the lab making sure Peter was following him before going all the way.

The two sat down at one of the desks with a computer screen and a few holograms around. Tony typed a few commands into the computer before grabbing one of the holograms and moving it between him and Peter.

“So this is the brain obviously.” Tony said gesturing to the hologram.

For the next, who knows how long because Peter stopped paying attention to time too entranced in what Tony was explaining, Tony explained to Peter where exactly the problem was, the tactics he had tried to fix it with, and how he was planning on fixing it now.

“The problem is, I’m not sure if that will work or not.” Tony finished.

Peter turned the hologram a little before taking a quick glance at the screen with Tony’s newest plans calculations on it.

“It looks like it should work because you’re toning down that electrical signal which should allow for more localized control.” Peter shrugged and pushed the holograph closer to Tony. “Then again I’m not an expert in neurology so that could be totally wrong.”

Tony laughed as he caught the hologram. “Me too kid, which is why I’m having problems with it. Jarvis is saying what you’re saying and what I was thinking so hopefully it will work.”

“Can I try it?” Peter asked a little cautiously unsure if he was crossing any lines by asking.

“Are you comfortable trying it?” Tony questioned. “Because I’m fine with you trying it, I just want to make sure you actually want to.”

“Yeah, I think with this implementation, then me trying it, I might have a better understanding of how it actually works and can be a bit more helpful.”

“As long as you’re sure, kid, then let’s get you set up.”

After the two of them ensured the update on the system was complete, Peter followed Tony into the B.A.R.F room and put on the glasses that Tony handed him then stood in the middle of the room while Tony was by the control panel.

“Just think of a happy memory or something kid, then it should start to form around you.” Tony said.

Peter closed his eyes and tried to focus on a good memory of him and his mom in the cafe. When Peter opened his eyes he wasn’t standing in the cafe though, he was in an old apartment he and his mom had in another state. From the looks of it though and from Peter’s memory it was a good memory.

In the middle of the room was a table where Peter and his mom both sat smiling at the chess game they were playing. Peter was younger here, 8 at the oldest. He was winning the game, like he almost always did and was getting ready to move the last piece before he won.

“Checkmate!” Little Peter said watching his mom laugh and reach across the table to shake his hand.

“Great win Peter!” Virginia said reaching across the table further to ruffle Peter’s hair.

“Mom!” Little Peter whined attempting to duck away from the assault on his hair.

“Dinner’s ready.” A new voice said as a guy about 6 feet tall with light brown hair walked into the room.

The new voice scared little Peter and he jumped back scattering the chess pieces across the floor in the process. The fear on little Peter’s face as he looked up towards the guy was the last thing Peter saw before he ripped the glasses off his face and stormed out of the room pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes as he paced through the lab trying to get the memory that resurfaced out of his head. Even though B.A.R.F. didn’t show the ending, it played clear as day in Peter’s head.

“Peter?” He heard Tony ask cautiously.

Peter pulled his hands away from his eyes and balled them into fists at his side. “Why do you think it’s just me and my mom huh? It’s better when it’s just us, it’s always been better that way. Then- then you just show up here all perfect nice guy billionaire and act all- just act too perfect. They always started like that you know, always. They were always too nice, then they turned to shit. And- and all you’re gonna end up doing is hurting my mom, that’s what they always do and I won’t let that happen again. I won’t let her get hurt, I won’t let you hurt her.”

Peter didn’t wait for a response from Tony and stormed out of the lab. He didn’t care that he and Tony had a good time in the lab beforehand, Tony would hurt his mom and he wouldn’t allow that to happen.

***

When Peter got back from the Tower it was almost 9 o’clock. The cafe had long since closed and he was dreading having to go inside his apartment and face his mom. Maybe it was slightly irrational to think Tony was like every other guy, but at the same time he couldn’t shake that ‘what if’ thought from his head. Maybe he had overreacted a little, but he was panicked and that memory brought up too many unwanted emotions for him to have any clear thought of what he was saying at the time. He was sure that after he left the Tower, Tony would have called his mom and he knew his mom would probably try to talk to him about it, hence the dread of going into his apartment. With a deep breath knowing he would have to face his mom eventually, Peter opened the apartment door and to no surprise his mom was waiting for him at the kitchen table with a serious, yet soft, look on her face.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Virginia asked nodding to the seat across from her at the table.

Knowing there was no way Peter was going to get out of this he sighed and set his backpack down near the door. “I’ll get the hot chocolate.”

***

“And that’s when I left.” Peter finished explaining what happened at the Tower to his mom.

“Tony called me right after you left, you know.” Virginia said, taking a small sip from her mug. “He was worried about you, said you seemed really upset, he wasn’t sure how much was actually directed at him and how much was just stuff you needed to get off your chest.”

“He’s nice, ya know?” Peter said, dropping his head into his hands. “He really is nice, and I want to believe that, I do. He welcomed you into his life, then me, and he makes you happy, heck he invited me to his lab and we got to talk science for hours, I doubt he does that we just anyone and I- I don’t know- he’s nice, but he’s too nice- and that sounds ungrateful, but-”

“But you don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.” Virginia finished reaching across the table gently taking Peter’s hand into her own. “Neither of us want a repeat of last time Peter. I know Tony being in our lives has been different, and I know you just met him, but he isn’t like the others Peter-”

“How do you know that?!” Peter exclaimed, running his hands through his hair pulling his hand away from his mom’s in the process. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice to a more reasonable level knowing that raising his voice would get him nowhere. “How do you know he won’t end up like the others? He’s nice, and he’s kind, and-”

“Do you want me to be honest with you Peter?” Virginia asked cutting Peter off, for which Peter was honestly thankful for, he wasn’t sure if he could have stopped his ramble otherwise, so he nodded. “I don’t know that he won’t be like the others, but what I do know is that none of the signs are there. I know that I don’t get this little voice in the back of my head telling me something is wrong. I know that from whatever life of his we see on TV and the life of his that he has shared with me, that he worked his hardest to become a better person and he still is working to be better. So yeah Peter, I don’t know that he won’t end up like the others, but sometimes, sometimes you have to take a risk, and this one is one I’m willing to take. I’m happy Peter, but I’m only happy if you’re happy. I’m not saying you don’t have to be cautious of him, you have every right to be. I’m not even saying you have to like him right off the bat, but I am asking that you at least try to get to know Tony. And if you actually try and you don’t like him because of a bad feeling then we’ll go from there, but for now can you please try?”

Peter rubbed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah- yeah I can try mom. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize Peter, it's okay.”

“I love you mom, I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I know Peter, I love you too.” Virginia said before standing up and pressing a kiss to Peter’s forehead. “Now go get ready for bed, you’ve got some muffins to prep in the morning.”

***

It was over a week before Peter saw Tony again. Then again he wasn’t actively avoiding him; it was just slightly consciously avoiding him, like making sure he was already in bed when his mom and Tony got back from their date on Friday and making sure he stayed in his room until Tony left Saturday morning. (Which Tony staying the night was a new thing and he wasn’t sure how he was feeling about that, but that’s a thing for a different time). But what he was not expecting was to see Tony in his apartment after school the next Friday drinking a cup of coffee at his kitchen table.

“Uh hi.” Peter greeted closing the door behind him as he took calculated steps into the apartment. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Sorry, Pep- uh Virginia was finishing up a few things downstairs and said I could come up here because the one of the board members called and-”

“It’s okay, as long as my mom said it’s fine then it’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Peter said, setting his backpack down by the table before going to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

“Peter,” Tony said as Peter stepped out of the kitchen and back towards the table. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah, we probably should.” Peter replied sitting down at the table across from Tony.

“Look Peter, I’m sorry-”

“No, don't apologize.” Peter said cutting Tony off. “You don’t have to apologize for doing nothing wrong. I’m sorry for storming out the other day and for kind of blowing up on you. It’s just- look it was hard for us for a few years after that and I know at least for me there’s somethings I haven’t gotten over yet. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I know you mean well and I can see you make my mom happy it’s just- I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? Like it’s all so good, what’s gonna go wrong, because something always goes wrong, and I don’t want it to be that my mom gets hurt, because I don’t know if I can see her hurt again.”

“Peter I’m not saying I understand, because I don’t, but I do hear what you are saying and it makes sense why you would be extremely protective of your mom and wary of me. Those feelings are completely valid. I’m not going to hurt your mom and I’m not going to hurt you, I can promise you that. I doubt you’ll believe that, but I’m still going to say it. I know I’ve only been seeing Virginia for a few months, but I really like her and I can see this going somewhere farther. I’m not saying it will anytime soon, but I think you get the point. I can’t promise much for the future other than what I already have, but if you’re willing I’d like to get to know you as well Peter, because from the looks of it we’re gonna be in each others lives and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want it to be like walking on eggshells all the time, so what do you say? We try again and get to know each other?”

Peter nodded and let out a small chuckle. “Yeah that- that sounds good. You’re right I don’t completely believe you when you say you can promise that, but I’ll hold you to that so take this warning as you will, you hurt my mom and I make no promises of what I will or will not do after that.”

“Peter if I ever do anything that remotely hurts your mom you have full permission to punch me in the face as hard as you can.”

“You say that now Tony, but I won’t hesitate.”

“Good, I don’t want you too.” Tony stuck his hand out across the table. “Truce?”

“Truce.” Peter said, reaching out and shaking Tony’s hand. “So do you want to see this old record player I’m fixing up while we wait for my mom?”

***

Peter wasn’t sure how long he and Tony were working on the record player for when Virginia came upstairs, but they were both nose deep in it and she scared the crap out of both of them when she came into the apartment.

“What are you guys doing?” Virginia asked her eyes flicking between Peter, Tony, and the record player.

“I was showing Tony the record player that I found the other day and he was helping me fix it.” Peter explained.

“So I take it that you two talked then.”

“Yeah we did, we’re good now.”

“That’s good.” Virginia said setting her stuff down on the counter. “So I take it, it would be okay if Tony stayed for dinner then.”

“I mean sure, but that’s not up to me.” Peter replied, glancing over to Tony.

“If you want me to stay then I’ll stay.” Tony replied.

“Alright then, how about we order some Chinese food and play a game while we wait?”

“Sounds good.” Peter and Tony both replied.

“I’m picking the game!” Peter exclaimed, shooting up from his seat and running off to grab a game.

“You two okay now?” Virginia asked Tony now that Peter was out of ear shot for a moment.

“Yeah we’re okay now. I don’t think we ever weren’t just a big misunderstanding, and lack of communication is all.” Tony said and stood up from his seat and walked over to Virginia. “Hug?”

Virginia nodded and Tony pulled her into a hug right as Peter came back into the room.

“You know just because I said I would try does not mean I want to see this.” Peter proclaimed loudly.

“What? You mean this?” Virginia said before placing a kiss on Tony’s lips earning a gag from Peter.

“You two are gross I don’t want to see that.” Peter said rolling his eyes and sitting down at the table pulling the cards out of the bag. “Oh yeah and we’re playing Uno!”

Almost 15 minutes later they were 2 card shuffles deep into the first round. Peter had only 1 card left, Virginia wasn’t far behind with 2 cards, and Tony, Tony had a mischievous look on his face as he got ready for his turn with 3 cards in his hand.

“I don’t like that look.” Peter said, staring at Tony as he got ready to place the card. “I thought we called truce.”

“Yeah, but it’s an unspoken rule that all truces go out the window while playing Uno.” Tony said then immediately placed down a draw 4 card directed at Peter who was sitting next to him.

Peter stared at Tony wide eyed in shock, then moved his eyes to the cards then back to Tony. “What the fuck Anthony.”

“Whoa language.” Virginia and Tony said at the same time.

“You can’t expect me to not say that when he places a draw 4 card when I have one card left.” Peter said as if it would help his case at all.

Tony tried not to laugh at Peter’s statement while his mom just shook her head and sighed.

“Just draw your cards Peter, accept your fate.” Virginia said with a laugh.

The game continued on for a few more rounds and right before Peter went to play his last card there was a knock on the door.

“Welp guess that’s the food so we gotta call it good.” Tony said standing up from the table to answer the door.

“You’re just mad you’re gonna lose.” Peter called out before placing his last card down onto the pile; a draw 2 card that would be directed at Tony due to the direction shift a few rounds before. “I mean you can play for second place if you want, but that’s just the first loser so you might as well accept your defeat here.”

“Alright kid I get it, you won.” Tony laughed bringing the paper bag full of take out over to the table. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry so we can rematch another time.”

With the three of them sitting at the table laughing over take out, Peter would say he was pretty happy with Tony being a new addition to their little family. He wasn’t sure where Tony and his mom’s relationship would end up, but he was happy for them and there was a bit of confidence inside of him that told him it would work out in the long run.

#peter parker #tony stark #pepper potts #Peter Parker is Pepper Potts biological son #tw: implied/referenced abuse #irondad #spiderson #Pepper Potts/Tony Stark #pepperony #the friendly neighborhood exchange

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dystopiandilfs · 3 years ago

Note

I am never been so close to anti-stan then I am right now. Dreams Twitter fanbase started the biggest hate train on him because they themselves:

1. Took his inital tweet with the drugs comment as a race issue, like it was obvious that was not the intent or even the focus.

2. Got mad at his completely rational reply to a toxic Stan that used both white and adhd as an isult - the toxic Stan was saying his fanbase will dogpile them, well if you didn’t phrase your concerns in a toxic way in a public place maybe you wouldn’t be concerned about it. Like he empasised he had no intent to relate it to rap - and they see him say rap and fucking ran with it.

3. Got mad at him for disagreeing with someone generalizing his 23 million fans as anti-black, like even his stance on stans is entirely anti-generalizing, he literally denounced any that are in the same comment.

4. Bullied him into unprivating his account because they can’t share screenshots apparently.

5. Got mad a him for tweeting a fucking heart.

Then they turn around and blame the entire thing on the antis, like no. You blew it out of proportion and reacted like shit to everything he did. You are the problem. All the responses to his last tweet are “educate yourself and reflect” and “come back with a better apology” like no. He apologized when he shouldn’t have and you cyber bullied him. They are bloody proud of theirselves for “holding him accountable“ for something they misconstrued.

He needs to delete that stan video because they aren’t worth it.

First thing i want to say is that this post is going to be joint answered as evangeline is white so this is going to be answered by her and me as im half african half american. Normally evanageline would be voicing her opinions and adding ours in if we had any but as its a racism issue she didnt feel comfortable to voice only her opinions. However shes the one writing the post apart from this bit to keep up the consistentcy of the blog page. -Trinity (Basically Trin gave her thoughts using a voice note and I slightly edited it so the sentences were a bit more coherent and added both mine and the other admins opinions as Trin doesn't really use twitter unless it's through my priv account - Evangeline)

I will say that a lot of the fan drama that you see are a smaller group that is known to attack and harass Dream and anyone who disagrees with anything. Eventhough they are a small group they mass reply to everything and make themselves look bigger than they are. Not only that but the only thing they end up doing is overshadowing the original issue at hand which is fans harassing and being racist to eachother. So a lot of what I'm about to say is mainly what this group is doing and isn't at all a reflection of a lot of fans but it is something that needs to be talked about especially since a bunch of this groups members are either white or white passing but get mad on black people's behalf and is basically setting them up.

I don't mean to be rude or dismissive but a lot of people used this as an opportunity to trauma dump. Like I know going into horrible details about what you have to deal with is the only way to get the point across sometimes however harassing Dream and spamming him with stuff like "I was harassed because I'm gay" "I was doxxed because I was Asian" is lowkey weird. Like why are you telling this random guy on the internet that you were doxxed? What is he going to be able to do about it? Also not to defend Dream but how are you going to sit there and break one of his few boundaries whilst trying to educate him.

On top of that the issue was originally how racist some of the fandom are to black people but then other minority groups started talking about how they were also being stereotyped and attacked but all this is doing is talking over other minorities. For example a large group of fans started off talking about how they were being attacked by other stans because of their skin colour but then immediately started to harass and threaten others. Like some were clearly not being serious but dming people and update accounts to retweet and spread awareness isn't the move you think it is. Obviously a lot of them were genuinely trying to spread awareness and were trying to get the respect and treatment they deserve but all of that was being overshadowed by the few that were attacking and harassing creators and fans. Then a lot of it turned into minorites fighting each other over who was more oppressed which just makes the whole thing seem like petty drama.

I will say a lot of them were lovely. I am pretty uneducated on race based issues and how certain things effect people and can be racist so I was asking a lot of questions and most of them were nice. However I also got a lot of snarky ones like "google it" to questions that weren't general like "Is it mocking to call white people crackers and token white boy if you are a white person" or "is ______ considered micro aggressions"

However as usual it went from trying to educate your creators to who is the most oppressed and who can bring up more past drama that has already been addressed multiple times. I'm not being funny but the fact that some well known Dream antis were defending Dream and shitting on stans should really tell you how non productive this is. It went from "Hey Dream this comment is a bit weird can you delete it please" to "Dream you should stop being friends with this person and you should follow this person otherwise your racist" Like that's not helping anyone. The only thing that it's doing is breaking Dreams boundaries, setting Dream up and making stans look bad.

Like people were @ing Sapnap and George telling them to "collect the racist friend" like how is that spreading awareness. The whole thing went from being a good chance to educate to a big fucking joke that just made a lot of people upset and anxious.

Honestly the whole thing was pretty fucking hypocritical like you can't talk about being harassed whilst harassing people into hearing you out. A lot of the issues seemed really gatekeepy to me as well. One that I saw constantly get brought up was that the only people allowed to say dy*e were black lesbians as they created the word. Like a big topic was a misuse of aave but not a single person actual explained what it was or gave examples all I saw was "mcyttwt needs to stop using aave language it's offensive" like you can't claim to be educating people if you don't explain. Not everyone can access websites and caards that get linked because of regions or web rescrictions so they're not helpful either.

HOWEVER I will agree that a lot of their points were completely valid like the whole thing of "Feral Feb" over shadowing BHM and whenever Dream listens to rap people complain and call it bad music are two really good examples. I listened to a few twitter spaces to learn a bit more and things that were said in there was all good info that would be genuinely helpful to know and it really did help edcuate me however not a single tweet said any of it and that's why people don't understand what they're doing is wrong because nobody explains it.

A lot of the issues that people had with Dream were so weird as well like a lot of them were self oppression and turning normal things into racism. A lot of the issues had the same energy as the 404twt fans who were genuinely mad at Dream for having a colour that George couldn't see and they were harassing him and claiming that he was purposely excluding diasbilities.

Usually we would add more but Trinity got a bit upset and stressed so she had to stop answering various asks and the other admins are all white or white passing and don't feel like it's our place to put our own opinions. We will try to answer other asks with similar thoughts later - Evangeline

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

Text

TLTNL- PERCY AND PADFOOT

Lily did not take the book with any amount of happiness. She couldn't stand the idea of just casually going on about Harry's life while that tyrant was torturing her son on a weekly basis now. The only remote bright spot she could picture was the end of the year where hopefully she'd sustain something far worse than having to leave the job. She took the book from Remus very grudgingly and trudged back to her spot next to James in a heavy silence, only Harry still seemed anxious to try and pretend like that part of his life was no big deal.

Harry was first to wake up in his dormitory next morning.

"That's a surprise," Remus said conversationally enough, he could still be angry and keep things light for Harry's sake. "I'd think you'd have to be dragged out of bed with all your sleepless nights from before."

"Guess my brain was still wired for school," Harry shrugged with a smile at him for the attempt.

He lay in his bed and savored for a moment it was finally Saturday, the first week had dragged on as if one long History of Magic class.

"Gah, can you imagine the horror," Sirius shuddered.

"Sounds nice actually," James snorted, "one nice long week to nap."

He collected himself and went down into the dormitory with his school bag, finding it much tidier than when he'd went to bed amongst the candy wrappers and loose scraps of parchment, along with Hermione's hats. He only vaguely wondered how many house-elves had been set free whether they wanted to be or not. *

"Really Harry? You didn't realize the problem with Hermione's plan? You were the one who had to trick Dobby into getting that sock instead of just giving it to him yourself," Lily frowned at him in confusion.

"I honestly thought Hermione had found a way around that, and hadn't questioned her. Thought she really knew what she was doing," Harry shrugged.

"Well it's nice to know she's not infallible in her logic sometimes I guess," James snorted.

Harry uncorked a bottle of ink and stretched out a fresh sheet of parchment, but hesitated over what to put down, suddenly appreciating his friends vague letters over the summer.

They all perked up with interest at that, they'd been assuming Harry had just been fixing to start on some homework or some such, but this was even better! Sirius was full blown smiling now that Harry really was going to write to him about anything!

He wanted to write to Sirius about everything that had been going on this week, but not in so many words anyone would know what he was talking about. But how to do so without anyone else knowing?

"Very carefully," Remus smiled.

"Or you could charm it so that it only shows you the words when you give it a very vague command," James grinned.

Harry looked a bit disappointed he'd never thought of that, he really wished he had asked his Marauders how they'd charmed their map to do that.

Finally he began with dear Snuffles, and began with a pleasant enough greeting before going into detail about the new Defense teacher, who was about as nice as Snuffles' mum.

Sirius snorted violently before full blown laughing. Then he couldn't seem to stop for a moment. Lily looked on at him with a touch of concern for this reaction, Umbridge's horrid ways set her mind racing with every foul spell she knew to use on that woman for what she'd done to Harry. Just what on earth had Walburga Black done to Sirius for him to clearly be agreeing with Harry like this? She longed to ask, but respected it was his right to tell her if he ever wanted to.

Harry then got to the point, saying he was sending along this letter because what had happened two summers ago happened the other night in detention with Umbridge.

"That was incredibly vague," Remus beamed with pride.

"So, goal met then?" Harry smiled sheepishly, he'd been a little worried they were all going to tell him off for contacting Sirius considering how worried they'd all been about him joining him at the train.

"Absolutely," James nodded, "you're already a natural at this."

They were all missing their biggest friend and hoped to hear from him soon,

"That was a little on the nose," Lily giggled.

"Still credit for trying," Sirius chuckled.

then he signed off. He reread this letter several times, trying his best to find a hole an outsider could find, but he was sure no one could detect anything about the contents or certainly who it was meant for.

"Definitely not, you're safe on all counts," they all agreed, causing Harry his first real smile since he'd been back at school.

Harry hoped Sirius would pick up most of all on the mention of Hagrid, but did not want to ask directly in case it drew attention to his absence.

"I'm sure he'll be back in no time," Lily said with more confidence than she really felt. She was very worried about Hagrid as well, what was taking him so long?

Considering how short the letter was, it had taken him some time to do it. By now others were arriving downstairs, and Harry hastened out of the common room off for the Owlery. He ran into Nick on the way, warning him against going his current path as Peeves was planning a joke involved the bust of Paracelsus.

Harry asked if this involved the bust falling on his head?

"A classic then," James smirked.

Nick agreed in a bored voice that was the funny part.

"How on earth could he be bored by such a thing?" Remus drawled.

Pointing out subtlety had never been Peeves' strong point.

"Well that's fair enough," Sirius agreed.

Nick was off to find the Barron to put a stop to this, and he'd see Harry around.

"Merlin, doesn't anyone let people have some fun in that place," James sighed.

Harry ended up taking a longer but safer route up to the Owlery, and only came across Mrs. Norris. The cat gazed at him for a moment before darting off, Harry calling after her he hadn't done anything wrong, though the hike of her tail was one of going to fetch her boss.

"Maybe she was just mad you stopped her heading that way as well," Sirius snorted, "I've caught her a fair few times trying to go up there pestering the owls."

Ignoring the instance he found the straw strewn floor covered with the usual owl droppings and regurgitated meals, spotting his snowy white owl up in the rafters. Once she'd perched on his shoulder so he could tie his note to her, he instructed for her ears alone that though this was addressed to Snuffles, Harry urged his owl to find Sirius.

"You didn't bother calling me that last year, why start now?" Sirius chuckled.

"Now I actually felt the need for it," Harry muttered, shifting just a bit with unease as the safety of his godfather came into question.

She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before taking flight, and Harry watched her fly off with the most calm he'd felt in a while. The grounds were still and at peace in the morning light, the trees of the Forbidden Forest only swaying gently. It was as he gazed at these though that one of the skeletal horses from before came swooping out chasing a bird and when it missed, dived right back down out of sight. The whole instance happened so quickly Harry swore he could have imagined it.

"Can you imagine how many times that happens a day and no one sees it," Sirius looked a bit amused.

"Imagine if they roamed the grounds more than the forest," James agreed. "People would be constantly knocking into them, and seeing things happen because of those and no one would be able to figure out why except those that saw them."

"You lot are enjoying this idea far too much," Lily tried to repress a smile at the idea by telling them.

"What can we say, we have a certain fondness for invisibility," Remus smirked.

The Owlery door opened behind him. He leapt in shock and, turning quickly, saw Cho Chang holding a letter and a parcel in her hands.

"Hey, look who finally gets a moment alone with his crush," Sirius threw his hands up in victory.

"I don't find the owlery the most romantic setting," James smirked.

"Let's see if Harry can get through with this one without making a fool of himself," Remus snickered, "or this time it'll be entirely his fault."

"Your encouragement is the limit," Harry grumbled.

They both stammered a greeting to each other at once, Cho quickly explaining her end she was coming up here to deliver a birthday present to her mum.

Harry couldn't think of anything to say to that, his brain had jammed. He wanted to say something funny and interesting,

"Harry, you have yet to say that, ever," Sirius smirked, achieving his goal in getting a rise out of Harry who simply scowled at him for now.

but the memory of that horse now fresh had his mind struggling speech at all.

What came out was a gesture to the clear blue sky, and his pointing out how nice this was. Then he felt like crawling under the nearest rat skeleton and never coming out. He was talking about the weather!

"Considering you've never had a proper conversation, starting casual is probably best," James said fairly.

"Could have asked something more direct, like what she'd gotten her mother," Lily objected.

"Or I could go read this in another room without you lot," Harry huffed to try and get them to stop.

"You wouldn't dare," Sirius gasped.

"And miss out on our brilliant commentary?" Remus looked a touch offended.

Lily started giggling a bit when Harry didn't back down from his threat as she turned back anyways.

Cho at once agreed this made perfect Quidditch conditions.

"Well I like her," James beamed at once.

"A very good point she managed to steer right into that sport," Sirius agreed, which Harry supposed was better than them picking on him, so he let it go.

Then she asked if Gryffindor had a new Keeper yet?

Harry agreed it was his friend Ron, whom Cho remembered as the Tornado hater.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate the team," Remus said fairly, "just the fans who suddenly like them."

"Entirely not the point," Lily rolled her eyes at him.

She asked how his tryout had gone, and Harry confessed he hadn't been there because of his detention.

Cho met his eyes then, only half way done attaching her parcel to her owl, as she stated how foul that Umbridge woman was, putting him in detention for telling the truth about...of how he died.

"Oh look, another supporter," Sirius said quickly rather than letting Harry dwell on that again for a moment, "that's three to two."

"Are you going to keep a tally of everyone in the school?" Harry asked with some bemusement.

"Don't tempt him," James sighed.

"He's already not doing a good job anyways, it's five to two counting Ron and Hermione," Remus reminded.

"Those were given," Sirius brushed him off.

"Not if you're going to do a complete poll of all 500 something students-"** Remus began disagreeing, but Lily finally cut through the lot of them.

She kept Harry's eyes as she told how brave it was of him to stand up to her like that.

Harry felt his insides inflating so much he was sure he was suddenly floating off the ground a bit.

"That'd be a sight," James snickered at the idea.

Who cared about a stupid flying horse; Cho thought he'd been brave.

"Priorities," Remus agreed lightly.

For a moment, he considered accidentally-on-purpose showing her his cut hand as he helped her tie her parcel on to her owl . . .

"I'm not sure of the reaction you were hoping to get with that one," Lily said in disgust.

"I certainly wouldn't find that braver, but stupid on your part for not saying something about it before now," James agreed with a hard look at Harry who chose now to check to see if his shoelace was still tied.

Before he could act on the impulse, the door burst open, with Filch marching into the room on a mission. He locked eyes on Harry at once and demanded his mail from him, saying he'd been given a tip about the order of Dungbombs he was to be placing.

Lily puffed up her cheeks before letting the air out slowly to make sure her voice came out neutral as she asked, "why would he think that?"

"Maybe it was someone playing a prank?" Harry brushed off, not wanting to think much of it as he was still caught on his Cho interactions with a smile.

"Harry, you don't find it just a bit concerning someone was trying to take your mail from you?" Remus wheedled to try and keep him on track while everyone's eyes were still narrowed with dislike over this.

Harry did rethink things over, and he certainly felt a ball of anxiety forming in him at the thought now, but he was finally enjoying just a bit of his time remembering school again and don't want them to keep ruining it with suspicions, so he just shrugged again.

Lily hoped that meant nothing did come of this moment, rather than worrying at her lip for the implications of something she did not like.

Harry crossed his arms in defiance at once as he demanded who'd told that, and Filch just brushed him off saying that wasn't the point and to hand over his mail now. Harry was entirely grateful he hadn't dawdled in sending Hedwig off, as he told Filch as much.

His eyes narrowed with further suspicion, as he demanded if Harry still had it on his person in hiding.

"What's he going to do if you had?" James snorted, his old joy of tormenting Filch quickly rising to the top.

"Surely, it'll involve whipping or something," Sirius snickered, "that'll make the clothes come right off."

"Urgh," Lily grumbled, she'd never taken Filch's threats so lightly as the lot of them, but then she supposed, she'd never had to suffer a detention with him either so she could see why they played this off as a joke.

Cho jumped in then saying she'd been here when he did send it off.

"Are you sure she's not a Keeper?" James threw his head back with laughter, "because I think she is."

"And you say I come up with bad puns," Sirius snickered along.

Filch glared between the two before turning back to the door, but he froze with his hand on it and still angry eyes on Harry as he began to threaten if he got one whiff of a Dungbomb from him...

"You'll what? Come on man, finish your threats, it's far healthier," Remus said almost encouragingly.

He stomped out of sight then, Harry waiting till he was long gone before thanking Cho for backing him up. She said she didn't mind at all, before asking if he really had been up here ordering those?

"She asks after defending you," Lily giggled.

"Proper timing," James agreed.

Harry said no, and she at once went on to say why Filch had thought so then.

The two remained in silence then as Cho finally sent off her things and they left, waiting until they hit their departing corridor before Cho said she'd see Harry around.

He agreed at once, and the two departed both smiling.

"Lookie there, finally making some progress," Sirius couldn't quite keep the mocking tone out of his voice even as he applauded Harry.

"Looks like third time's his charm, he's beaten Prongs out by a mile," Remus agreed.

"Come on, 394 really isn't that bad in comparison," Sirius put on James' voice in a fair impression.

James chucked a pillow at him while Lily kept going.

Harry went all the way down to the Great Hall, for once ignoring any lingering stares or whispers as he kept remembering her saying how brave she thought he was...

He greeted his friends with the cheeriest morning he had all week.

"Is that all it takes putting you in a good mood?" James huffed, still giving his two friends the stink eye. "Chatting with a pretty girl? Maybe we should try and convince Andromeda to come over next time you're in a bad mood."

"I don't think the prelude to that conversation would be worth it," Harry rolled his eyes.

Ron eyed Harry with surprise for this mood.

"It's sad he's surprised to see you happy," Sirius snorted.

Harry fibbed it was the idea of Quidditch, which Ron only reluctantly agreed to, as he asked Harry if he'd go out with him even earlier than practice so that Ron could have a warm up before even then.

"He wants to train before training, Merlin I want to cry just thinking about it," Remus groaned.

"Don't know what you're talking about Moony, I'll take some hits with the ground over the pummeling my brain took over homework," Sirius shrugged.

Harry agreed at once, but Hermione cut in she seriously didn't think they should.

"I would never say any such thing, why would Hermione imply otherwise?" Sirius demanded while Harry chuckled fully again at that joke.

They were both really behind on homework as is- the two boys were thankfully saved anymore by the morning owl arriving, and Ron tried to delay further by asking if there was anything interesting in there.

"I'm sure the removal of Fudge from his Minister position wouldn't keep her from talking about that," James rolled his eyes.

She flipped through a few pages while saying there was nothing of note, before reaching a ways into it and whispering a sudden concern for Sirius.

Lily choked hard as she spat the name out in surprise, and James wasn't going to sit around and wait for her to get her breath back as he lunged forward and took the book away from her, reading out in a fevered haste-

Harry moved so fast he tore the paper in half, leaving the piece Hermione had been reading still in her hand, which she practically ignored as she read out the content for the boys that the Ministry had received a tip-off that notorious mass murderer Sirius Black may be here in London.

His face was going red, he had yet to take a breath, so Lily reached forward and placed her hand on the back of his neck, using as calm a voice as she could manage, "breath James, he's still fine."

"Right, yeah," he said jerkily, some normal color returning to his face as he studied the words and then glared up at his best mate.

To his infuriation, Sirius just shrugged with a bland look in place, saying, "look at it this way Prongs, even if I do, I'll know how not to get caught that way."

Remus' hands twitched, he really was going to start strangling him here in a moment if he didn't stop playing this off as a joke.

"Sirius, this really isn't the time for jokes," Harry stunned them all by snapping, his face bone white as he watched him. "How do you think I'll feel when-" his vision blurred white before he could say anymore, beginning to convulse and clearly suffering for trying to remember something.

Even beginning to guess what that could be had all of them breathless with fear, but Sirius rounded himself back enough, talking earnestly but softly to Harry now, "alright pup, you got it. No more making fun of Prongs no matter how dramatic he's being."

Harry's vision swam as he focused back on Sirius, something dark in him warning he didn't want to remember the warning he'd almost given. He believed that feeling, because the first option it meant just couldn't be true, he couldn't lose Sirius. So, it must be something else, Sirius just got really hurt or something...

It was the only conclusion any of them could comprehend, the alternative wasn't bearable. Lily had to gently pry the book from James' death grip as she went back to her spot, ignoring her own shaking voice for that heart stopping moment.

Harry began muttering furiously about how Lucius must have done this, he had seen Sirius at the platform.

Ron began in surprise when this had happened,

Remus forced himself to roll his eyes, to focus on this detail that Ron really hadn't noticed any such thing.

Sirius was also restraining himself from saying he didn't even blame Ron for not focusing on such a stupid little detail, but he didn't think that would be well received right now considering his last throwaway comment.

but the other two shushed him as Hermione read out the rest of the article about what would await him when he was found. She concluded then that he just couldn't leave the house again period,

Sirius turned as white as Harry had just been. If that rat was never caught...he couldn't do it, he couldn't go back to prison again, one that was somehow conceivably on par with Azkaban...

Dumbledore had warned him not to after all.

"I don't give a damn what Dumbledore said," Sirius snarled with absolute conviction. "I'd rather die outside that house than be a prisoner inside it again."

He crossed his arms defiantly, waiting for someone to argue with him, but not even Harry could bolster himself to do this. If he'd had to go back to living at the Dursley's full time, even for his own safety...he'd be doing something desperate as well.

Harry stared morosely down at the bit of paper he'd ripped off, his mind on other things besides the add for Madam Malkin's in his hand, but then tucked in a miniature article right below that was something else that caught Harry's attention.

"Not more on-" Remus pleaded, having to resist the urge to grab Sirius and not let go until those thoughts of his were no longer an issue.

"No, no," Harry murmured, still not back to his normal color, "something other than Sirius caught my attention, if you can imagine."

Sirius managed a giggle that didn't quite hit normal, but if Harry was forcing himself to move past the moment than clearly, they'd over read his reaction, something else must be going on...not that Harry just couldn't bear to understand his own thought, that wasn't an option.

He at once laid this out for the others to see, to which Ron instantly said he was good on robes.

James managed only a semi hysterical giggle for that.

Harry ignored him and read out the bit that was barely four sentences long about how Sturgis Podmore had been arrested for trespassing at the Ministry. He'd been caught trying to break into a high security door. The man had refused to speak in his own defense and was to spend the next six months in Azkaban.

No one spoke while Lily read out the charges, but by the time she'd finished and looked up in stunned disbelief, she found them all slack jawed. What they were hearing wasn't possible. Not the Sturgis who'd just been inducted into the Order, had gone to Dumbledore and begged the man to let him help in any way possible after he'd witnessed a muggle child beaten in the street. So how on Earth had he somehow managed to get himself tangled up into stealing from the Ministry? Sent to Azkaban? Why had he even wound up there, that bit about refusing to speak for himself stuck out more than anything, as surely Dumbledore would have stepped in. If he had for Harry than they couldn't imagine he wouldn't have for a faithful Order member as well...but then again, they also already knew of at least one instance where he'd let an Order member go to Azkaban without speaking a word for him. If he could do that to Sirius, they'd believe he could do that to anyone.

Harry was less following that train of thought and more trying to understand how someone from the Order had done that, but his first thought was a frame up. The man had been conned into it somehow... then he went cross-eyed in pain. He'd already suffered one memory blast a second ago for something far more precious to him regarding his godfather, he wasn't going to be pressing on this.

Lily was still waiting for someone to say something about this, but it was clear no one really could, this was too much happening back to back and they needed a minute to process, so Lily was hoping reading about Harry go through this would help.

Ron recalled him as a recently absent member of the Order-

Hermione quickly shushed him before he could go on about that, while Harry hissed he'd been given his stint just for trying to get through a door?

"Oh, that part wasn't so surprising," Lily murmured, "the Ministry takes their breaking and entering very-" she broke off with a nasty glare at Sirius, who managed a real smile and almost a pout for Lily not slipping up.

Hermione told him not to be silly, it wasn't just because of the door. What had he even been doing at the ministry at the time?

"I'm sure if they knew they'd put that in the story," Remus frowned.

"Maybe not," James disagreed, "could be something very secret and important, don't want word spreading around about it."

Ron muttered if this happened on orders from the Order?

"I, could be I guess," Sirius struggled, though he really had a problem understanding what the Order would have to do with the Ministry when they were so at odds.

"If so, then him being in Azkaban is all the fouler," James snarled in outrage.

Harry recalled that it didn't seem likely, as Sturgis had been absent when they were all headed to King's cross, he didn't seem to be doing much work for them lately.

"Perhaps he just wasn't doing this at that time, I'm positive he came around and explained himself before going on for more work," Remus reasoned out.

Ron instead offered up the idea it was all a frame up. What if the Ministry had lured him there, and then set a trap for him to get caught so they could pin this on him.

They all considered the idea for a moment, but not everyone was entirely convinced. Lily at least hoped the Ministry would never fall that far, but she still also held out hope there was something else going on they just couldn't get information from that about. Harry also wouldn't know, leaving them in the dark on this.

James and Sirius seemed to liken to the idea, in fact it explained a lot of his past behavior if he was now regularly being conned up there and then didn't explain this until after the fact to the Order for security reasons.

Remus found it plausible enough, though still a bit too underhanded for the Ministry at this stage. From all accounts, they were still working on discrediting Dumbledore, and though making one of his associates into this light was a next step, why make the piece so small then? They'd have made this front headline news if they were pushing for this tactic, yet it seemed a miracle the piece was in the paper at all. No, he still thought something else was going on here.

Harry found this too far fetched, but Hermione was impressed at this and found it plausible.

Then she folded the paper up and moved on to saying they should start with their Herbology homework.

"How on Earth does she flip from that to homework?" Remus demanded, absolutely derailed from his train of thought.

"I'm sure Hermione can manage to switch any topic to essays," James scowled for this subject being brought up and then cut off so quickly, he wanted to know what was really going on with someone he considered a friend.

If they were lucky they could start practicing McGonagall's Inanimate Conjures Spells before lunch.

Sirius tisked at once, caught at once from his own speculation. "Don't know what she's on about, they're going to play Quidditch."

Harry felt a small twinge of guilt as he watched her go through their list of work, but that blue sky outside really was exhilarating, and he hadn't been on his Firebolt in ages...

"So, you'll be heading down to the pitch soon," Sirius waved impatiently to get there.

Ron reassured Harry that they could go through all that tonight, while the two headed down brooms over their shoulders, Hermione's dire words about how they were going to fail every one of their OWL's still fresh in their ears.

Remus started snickering while nobody bothered acting surprised, even if Lily's mouth did thin just a bit in disapproval of this.

Plus they had all day tomorrow...then he asked if she'd really meant it about them not being allowed to copy from her?

"Did she ever actually let you?" Lily asked astounded, as she hadn't at all picked up on this.

"Sometimes she 'accidentally' left her work out while she ran off to the Library for something," Harry chuckled, "but she never just pushed it over for us."

Harry said she'd meant it alright, but Quidditch was important to them to, they had to stay on top for the team.

"Priorities," James agreed without a drop of sarcasm.

Ron agreed at once, they had time to do it all.

"I hope you remember that when you're up studying until Sunday," Remus winced in pity at the idea.

Harry refused to let his gaze linger on the Forest as they took to the grounds, that flying horse wasn't hurting anything and he had more important things to think about.

"That's fair honestly," James agreed, he hated lingering on things that weren't of importance as well, though he was still trying to pick apart that bit about Sturgis even while half listening to his sons Quidditch prows.

Ron did quite well on his solo practice with Harry, and both boys were heartened as they returned to lunch and more of Hermione's commentary on how irresponsible they were.

"I'd be more worried if she didn't honestly," Lily said fondly.

This time when they went back down, everyone else was waiting for them in the locker room, Fred and George greeting Ron by asking if the Ickle Prefect was going to show them all up.

"If they were making cracks at him like that, it's no wonder he got a little frazzled during tryouts," Remus said in sympathy.

"Ron really shouldn't be letting those light things get to him," James scoffed in disbelief, "not only have the twins said far worse to him before, but the buildup to a game is brutal. Ron's got to have better nerves to keep up."

Ron snapped at them to shut up as Angelina entered, warning them before they got started that they had some visitors in the stands but they were to be ignored while they did this.

It was easier said than done, as the moment the Slytherin team caught sight of them, they began catcalling.

"Did we ever establish what the rules are for spectators at practice?" Harry grumped.

"Nope," James popped the p for emphasis. "Sadly, the pitch stands are open at all times, they hardly have a guard up after all. If you call off practice to go find a teacher to complain to, then you get the same end results of having practice cut up and your time will run out for the next person anyways."

Harry grumbled something but admitted he could do nothing more about this.

Malfoy at once began a list of insults, starting with what Weasley was riding, an old log?

Harry told Ron to ignore the jab, they wouldn't be laughing when they were the ones losing next game.

'Says the one on the Firebolt,' Remus thought in sympathy for Ron at that comment.

Angelina had them all in the air and began with the simple practice of tossing the Quaffle around. Each team member had lobbed it to a random other, before Harry passed it to Ron, who fumbled and had to dive to the ground to get it.

The Slytherin's laughter doubled up at once, and Ron came up as red faced as the ball now. The twins exchanged a look, but uncharacteristically did not say anything themselves.

"It's nice even they have their limits," Sirius frowned in sympathy for Ron.

"I'm positive they'd never have a go at their brother in front of spectators," James said at once, "family boundaries and all that. They can pick on him all they like, but if someone else does it, then there's going to be a problem. Mocking him while they are being the opposite of that."

Sirius nodded in absolute agreement while Lily grinned at him before going on.

Angelina brushed past the moment as if it hadn't happened, telling him to pass it on already, and the routine began again before Malfoy's next comment floated up about how Potter's head was feeling? Did he need a lie down in the Hospital wing? It had been a whole week since he'd been in there after all.

"I wish that one was more of a joke," Lily groaned, considering her son had successfully woken up in there all four years.

On his next pass through Ron did catch his ball with skill, but then overenthusiastically lobbed it off to Katie which smacked her right in the face. Fred flew over at once and offered her a purple bit of candy, promising this would stop the problem.***

"Ooph," all five of them winced for that pain, though James tried to bolster, "least that one wasn't entirely his fault, Katie's got to work on her reflexes as well."

"He speaks from experience of one to many Quaffles in the face," Sirius agreed.

Angelina seemed to decide that was enough of that practice as the team broke up into their usual positions then, but Ron wasn't having much better luck this way. Harry wasn't paying much attention to anyone else as he weaved in and around looking for the Snitch, so stopped in surprise when Angelina blew her whistle and called at Ron he needed to be covering all of his posts, he was only hovering in front of the one.

"Well he was only used to playing with one post, back at home," Harry defended lightly.

"Guess there is room for adjustment time," James agreed.

Ron apologized at once while he tried to lengthen his field, Angelina coaching that he should be circling them all, or he'd let in more than the last three.

Lily winced upon the word three. She wasn't even much of a Quidditch fan and she was starting to feel bad for Ron, the boys were past that and starting to shift with unease at this poor display. They liked Ron a lot, but maybe he wasn't cut out for this game on such a level, not everyone was.

Before she went back to training she asked wasn't Katie's nose getting any better, but Katie said it was only getting worse. Fred eyed another piece of candy he'd apparently just given to her, and suddenly looked horror struck.

"Well that can't be good," Remus yipped at once in concern.

"Just what did the twins do?" Sirius agreed in a sudden surge. "I remember them saying they hadn't perfected the nosebleed one yet, but I thought by giving her that it would at least stem the flow, not make it worse!"

"They gave her the purple pill," James soothed, though his own twitching showed he wasn't entirely okay with this either, "surely they're not just using her for a test dummy."

Not long after, Katie had to be escorted off the field, face pure white from blood loss, by the twins who had accidentally given her a Blood Blister pod.

"What does he mean by mistake?" Lily demanded dangerously. "Thought they were color coded for a reason, how could he give her the wrong one?"

They really had no answer for this, it wasn't like the twins to be so careless with their own products.

Angelina gave in on practice for the day and slumped off amongst the Slytherin's most recent chant of 'Gryffindors are losers!' They made their way back to the common room where Hermione asked in a frosty voice how it had gone. Ron at once said it had been lousy, and Hermione's voice cooled in sympathy it was only his first after all.

"It's nice she thaws on them when it counts," Remus chuckled.

Ron snapped who'd said it had been him that made it lousy?

Sirius couldn't help but snort lightly for his snap, she had made the presumption, even if it was right.

Then he marched off to go get his book bag, while Hermione leaned in and whispered for Harry alone if it had been him.

Harry said no with loyalty.

"There's my little Gryffindor," James beamed for the response he'd have given.

When Hermione kept staring, he conceded it hadn't been the best, but this really had been his first crack.

No more was said as the two spent the evening going through all their work, made extra difficult as Harry could still hear the echo of the Slytherin's cruel chant.

"Oh Harry, don't let yourself get so psyched out as well," Sirius tried to comfort, "that won't help Ron."

"Malfoy really has this way of sticking in my head," Harry huffed.

They spent the rest of the night and the whole of Sunday pushing through their mountain of work, by Sunday night Harry was feeling as if his brain was smashing its way out of his skull.

"Lovely mental imagery," Remus winced in sympathy.

Harry muttered for Ron they really should be doing more of this over the week.

"Well it's not as if you had much of a choice," James said fairly, "what with being physically tortured and all," his voice finishing with flat ice.

Harry winced and hid his hand from sight again, knowing they weren't letting that one go anytime soon.

Hermione had spent her time relaxing, making more elf hats, and chatting with other friends the whole time, but as the night wore on and most of the common room emptied out for their early morning tomorrow, she took pity and wandered over, glancing at Ron's current Astronomy essay and corrected Jupiter's biggest moon was Ganymede, and Lo had the volcanoes.

"Exactly what text was he using to be swapping all those?" Remus asked in sympathy.

"The book was upside down, he didn't even seem to notice he was as exhausted as I was," Harry sighed. "I probably would have noticed soon, I was almost done with mine."

Ron began scratching out the wrong information without a word, while Hermione began apologizing.

"Why's she apologizing, I thought she always critiqued your homework," Lily said in surprise.

"Ron looked ready to make her eat that quill as he was using it," Harry winced, his best mate not in the mood for Hermione to be doing this over his shoulder in that way.

Ron snapped he didn't want to hear it if she was just going to criticize.

"I was under the impression she always criticized him," Sirius said lightly.

"I'm still convinced that's their form of flirting," Remus snorted, thinking Ron was looking for a good row to let off some steam, and Hermione was more than likely his usual go to with that.

Hermione spotted something else, but when Ron tried to cut her off he didn't want to hear it, Hermione pointed at Hermes in the window.

"Not Percy's owl?" James yelped in shock as he leaned over Lily's shoulder to read that one.

"Why do you even remember that detail?" Sirius asked as he certainly hadn't.

Lily shushed them both while reading with an honest touch of hope, maybe Percy was trying to come around and apologize? Hopefully that letter was for all his siblings and he'd made up with his parents?

Ron went to the window at once and wrenched it open, Percy's owl swooping in and landing on Ron's moon of Io.

"I'm sure the Professor will appreciate the attention to detail," James muttered as he was still trying to peek over Lily's shoulder and see what this was about, while she was just as effectively ignoring him.

Ron tore open the envelope curiously and began reading, but his expression quickly flipped to disgust the longer he read.

"That was not an encouraging start," Remus began without much surprise, though he still couldn't imagine what this was about, while Lily sighed with disappointment and couldn't bother clinging to her hope anymore as she got it out.

He wordlessly thrusted the letter to his friends, apparently to appalled for words, as they began reading to themselves about Percy's beginning stating he'd heard from the Minister of Magic himself,

"That was entirely unnecessary," James huffed.

"As was that," Lily snipped at him.

that Ron had become a Prefect. This was excellent news, as Percy had always feared Ron would take the 'Fred and George' route, but now he was elated to hear his youngest brother had decided to take on some responsibility.

"He didn't decide anything," Sirius threw his hands up in exasperation for people continually saying that. No one put their name down, no one did anything to become Prefect, it was entirely the decision of the Heads of Houses and ultimately Dumbledore.

He was sending this letter with as much warning as anything though, for if he expected to go further in life with this achievement, he should be warned of his continued fraternization with Harry Potter, which he'd gathered Ron was still hanging around again from word of the Minister.

Remus frowned in confusion, wondering what Umbridge had passed along that involved Ron at all? He supposed he wasn't too surprised if that thing was keeping tabs on Harry's friends as well though.

Percy put in the simple fact that Ron could quickly lose his badge if this kept up.

Harry spluttered with absolute indignation. What had he done to deserve that from anyone, let alone a person he'd gotten to know on at least some level? He'd never taken a liking to Percy, but he'd never thought he'd done anything to deserve him telling his own brother to drop him? Ron was Harry's first friend, his best friend, and more family than he'd ever had in his life before he met Sirius.

James fired up at once, snapping, "what does Percy want, for Ron to be an outcast and no one to like him like Percy is?"

The sad truth was, yes Lily did believe that. Percy may have heard this news and immediately hoped that he could reconnect with some member of his family, because he likely was lonely. That didn't excuse what he'd just told to do to her son.

Percy expected Ron to read this with some surprise, no doubt Ron would say that Potter was Dumbledore's favorite,

"Why would that be his response?" Sirius scowled with anger as well as confusion for that one. Harry never once asked for that treatment.

but Dumbledore may not be in charge around school much longer anyways if those in charge had a more accurate account of Potter's behavior had things settled as Percy expected them to.

With every line Percy had written Remus continued growing more confused and angry, this one in particular caught him off guard. What did he mean Dumbledore wouldn't be in charge of the school anymore? That was an oddity in itself, he'd been the headmaster for generations already and in a most likely biased opinion the most reputable of them all. That didn't quite knock out the anger of the second part, more accurate his arse. Ron was Harry's best friend for years, he'd have the most accurate portrayal of Harry more than anyone, shouldn't this be his say so.

Percy wouldn't enlighten this statement further, but Ron should check out the Daily Prophet tomorrow for more details to see where the wind was blowing, and to spot himself along the way.

"Why am I not surprised this whole letter was planned out just to brag about himself winding up in the paper somehow," Sirius snarled.

Percy persisted, seriously Ron

"He doesn't get to use my name," Sirius huffed, to which he was ignored by all this time.

did not want to be on the same branch with Potter anymore or it would damage his future, and this was speaking of life after school. Ron surely knew of Potters disciplinary hearing, and he had not come out of it looking good. He'd gotten off on a technicality, and many of the Wizengamot still found him guilty.

"Guilt of what!?" James thundered. "He saved his own damn life plus his useless cousin! What were they even trying to prove during that shame of a trial? That he cast a Patronus Charm for shits and giggles!"

"You should never argue with a stupid person, they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Remus snipped.

It was best for Ron to sever ties with Potter, the earlier the better, even if he did become violent. If Ron had any worries he was encouraged to go see Umbridge, a delightful woman who would be happy to help.

Lily did not get that out as if an intelligible person had said it, more like repeating the words of someone hit with a babbling curse. It made no sense in or out of context.

This led into his next bit of advice, which he'd hinted at above,

"Hinted implies subtly," James snorted with disgust.

that Dumbledore would not remain in charge at school long, and Ron should be thinking of his future with the Ministry. So far Umbridge had been getting very little cooperation from the staff and the Ministry was striving to fix this, again see the Prophet tomorrow, and those who were on Umbridge's side could be well placed for Head Boy ship not long later.

"Climb as far up her brown nose as you can and make a comfy nest with the rest of her eggs," Sirius mocked.

Percy did tack in an apology about how he was sorry he couldn't see Ron over the summer,

"Bet he wouldn't care one bit if he didn't know you were a Prefect," Sirius snapped.

and it did pain in how he disliked criticizing his parents, but what with the riff raff they kept up with like Sturgis Podmore, and other petty criminals, he was lucky the Minister didn't see him in the same light.

James looked ready to light the book on fire any moment now. Percy had successfully insulted three people he cared about in one go! It took a lot of restraint on his part to remind himself Percy was still a child right now who shouldn't be transfigured into a pumpkin.

He was very gracious he'd disassociated himself with the likes of Dumbledore's crowd and promised Ron could still do the same and not to let family ties blind him. He'd be ready to accept their apology whenever they were ready and realized their mistakes.

"If both sides keep standing around waiting for an apology instead of doing something, this war is going to be harder than I was thinking," Sirius grumbled as he remembered his own words.

He signed off with the plea to think this all over, particularly the bit about Potter, and congratulated him one last time on becoming a prefect.

"Burn that Harry. Burn that and shove the sod right up that Humongous Big Heads nose." James said at once with conviction.

"It's Ron's letter," Harry sighed, "I think he should get the right."

"That's fair," Sirius acknowledged.

When Harry was done, he reread one bit to make sure he got it right, before turning to Ron and said if he wanted to sever ties with him, he promised he wouldn't get violent.

The boys at least garnered a laugh for Harry's sarcasm at that, while Lily sighed deeply. She wished that hadn't been played off as a joke, but she supposed it was better than Harry getting mad at Ron's brother, and taking it out on Ron, which with his temper lately she wouldn't have even been surprised.

Ron jerked the letter away nastily at once, calling him the biggest prat on earth as he ripped the parchment up into tiny little scraps and tossed it into the fire.

"Less satisfying than up the nose," James sighed.

"But a proper in the moment response," Remus smiled.

Then he turned dismissively back to their homework.

Lily managed almost a happy giggle for this display, thinking Percy should send Ron more stupid letters if that's what got him to focus on his homework more.

Remus almost agreed, finding his utter dismissal of this perfect.

Hermione was looking at Ron with an odd expression on her face.

"What kind of odd look?" Lily asked with a torn expression, she really hoped Hermione wasn't going to try and give Ron a pep talk or something, it wouldn't do him any good right now.

"I think it was something close to surprise, maybe admiration," Harry tried to smile. "Ron wouldn't ever show it, but what Percy did cut all his siblings as bad as his parents, and so when Hermione saw Ron just turn right back to homework after what Ron considered further spurn must have gotten to her."

Lily couldn't help a small smile now as she kept going. It didn't make that letter feel any better, but it was nice to see Hermione acting like their friend rather than mother for a change.

Then she stunned them both by demanding their homework from them so she could correct what they'd done.

"Doesn't she usually do that anyways when you're done?" Sirius chuckled.

"She'd certainly been threatening not to do it enough lately we were starting to believe her," Harry smiled in relief.

He asked if she was serious?

"No, I am," Sirius reminded as if anyone had forgotten.

Then he began thanking her at once, calling her a life saver and what could he say to-

She said he could say he wouldn't wait to do all his homework till the last minute ever again, while looking on in amusement.

"They're not even done with them though," James reminded.

"Still better to get her help while she was in a good mood, half the work done," Harry cheered, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Harry thanked her as well as he pushed his away in relief, letting himself sink down and gaze at the fire quietly for a moment with a sick feeling resting in him as the remains of Percy's letter curled away in the fire.

They all frowned as they realized Harry had taken that much more personally than they'd realized, he'd even played off the moment in here well enough they'd thought he'd just completely brushed it off, but clearly not.

Somehow reading all that in Percy's writing pressed in on him for the first time his standing with the majority of the Wizarding World. He'd known Percy for years, had spent summers at his house and shared a tent with him at the World Cup, Percy had been the one to award him full marks during the second task last year, but now the same guy found him unbalanced and violent.

"This is the same guy who went sobbing out into the freezing lake to check on his kid brother," Remus huffed in agreement. "How did he go from that to dismissing his whole family in so little time?"

"You've got me?" James sighed deeply.

Harry felt sudden empathy for his godfather, whom the whole world also believed had done something he'd had no part of.

Sirius hummed in agreement with that, even if he couldn't be there for Harry in the ways he wanted to be, he found comfort even the idea he could relate to Harry made him feel better.

Then Harry sat up straight in his chair as he gazed at the fire in confusion, surely he'd imagined it because he was thinking of his godfather.

"Oh, is Sirius making another appearance in the common room?" James asked as if confirming the date.

"Now he even has a safe place to do it from," Remus agreed almost as if bored at the idea.

Truth be told it made both of them smile and more anxious at the same time. They couldn't easily forget where Sirius was in Harry's time and found him talking to Harry face to face would surely make him feel better for even a moment.

Hermione was done with both homeworks, haven written out a draft for Ron to use as his conclusion,

"Okay, that was blatantly doing homework for you," Lily snorted.

"I guess she truly was taking pity on us," Harry chuckled.

Ron insisted she was the most wonderful person he'd ever met,

"I think this is the most he's complimented her in their entire friendship, she may be falling over from shock," Sirius chuckled.

and if he was ever rude to her again-

She'd know he'd gone back to normal, Hermione finished for him with a smile.

"There's the proper response," James snickered.

Then she turned on Harry's, saying he must have heard Sinestra wrong, as Europa was covered in ice, not mice.

"Sometimes I really can't tell when Hermione's being sarcastic," Remus smirked, "she must know that was a slip of the quill."

Harry just grinned and didn't reply.

Harry was no longer listening as he crouched down in front of the fireplace, watching it steadily now as he told his friends what he'd just seen. It wasn't that surprising, as Sirius had appeared her once before to talk to him, but Hermione was concerned at once at the idea, saying it would be too- Sirius?!

"But I'm always serious, how could I be anything else?" Sirius cackled.

"She was actually saying your name you twit," Lily ground out, cursing that man's parents for cursing their child and everyone else in his life with this never-ending gag.

She gasped his name in surprise as Sirius' face sat among the logs, grinning at them.

"You already sound so pleased with yourself," James snickered.

"I honestly believe I've been looking forward to this all week, Harry's letter just happened around the same time," Sirius grinned.

He began to say he'd been worried this wouldn't work, he'd been checking every hour and there'd always been someone else in here.

Harry half laughed that he'd been popping his head in here once an hour? Hermione anxiously demanded what if someone had seen him.

"I'm sure you'd have heard about it, and the twins would have helped to laugh the whole thing off by saying they'd slipped something in there, or any number of things." Remus rolled his eyes at her paranoia.

Sirius shrugged off that some first year may have gotten a start from him, but she'd probably just thought he was a funny shaped log.

"Honestly, in a school full of magic, a funny shaped log wouldn't have lingered in her mind in the time it took for her to get to the stairs," James agreed.

Hermione still said this was too big a risk for him to be-

Sirius cut her off by telling her to stop sounding like Molly, Sirius was just trying to respond to Harry's letter.

Hermione turned her accusing voice on Harry now, as he hadn't told them about this.

"And that's exactly why he didn't," Sirius scoffed at Hermione's never ending complaints.

Harry admitted he'd forgotten, as the instance with Cho had pushed the rest of that morning from his mind, before turning back to Sirius and saying no one could have gotten anything from that letter anyways.

"She doesn't believe anyone can do anything without her help," James rolled his eyes.

Sirius agreed at once it had been very good, beginning on that with Harry's scar.

Ron tried to ask what that meant, but Hermione shushed him and they'd tell later.

"I understand the need for the haste, but why hadn't you told Ron about this already?" Lily asked.

"Same reason I'd yet to tell Hermione about my detentions," Harry shrugged uneasily as he brought this back up himself but still explained, "hadn't come up until I was caught at it."

"You have that philosophy far too often," Remus huffed.

Sirius agreed he understood this couldn't be fun for Harry, but it had hurt like this before now.

Harry agreed it had just concerned him it had been extra bad around that Umbridge woman, but Sirius had no delusions she was a Death Eater.

Harry said she was foul enough to be one, while Sirius gave a wry smile and said the world wasn't split into good people and Death Eaters.

"I always want to faint in surprise when you pass on such words of wisdom," Lily smiled at him while Sirius grinned and Harry took a moment to register the truth of those words he'd never considered before.

Sirius did agree that he already knew of her reputation though, Remus went on enough about her.

That caught their attention with surprise, Lily going on eagerly to see what that foul woman had been saying about her friend, and hopefully some colorful recanting of what Remus had to say about it.

Harry asked in surprise how Lupin knew her, remembering Umbridge's comments about half-breeds during their first class.

James's mouth dried considerably as he did remember this. She hadn't been subtle in taking a shot at Remus, and he already felt a nasty fear of where this was going.

Sirius explained not personally, but she'd drafted some anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that made it impossible for him to get a job.

Lily spluttered with indignation nearly before she'd gotten that out, and that had nothing on his two friends. They already had every reason in the world wanting that sherbet-reject to shrivel up and die, turns out they should have been going for her head all those years ago. Was this in fact finally the reason Remus had left his post? That would have happened right around the time he left Hogwarts, when Snape had released his name as working at Hogwarts!

Instead of shrinking away whenever this topic came up, Remus looked a tad concerned for this news, and not just for himself. It was very rare to find any other werewolves who even tried to maintain a normal lifestyle with a job and such, but with this bit of legislation being passed it was as if they were being told not to even bother with that. He'd never complained of the restrictions of the jobs they could get because he recognized the danger in his own kind, but was the Ministry moving even further away in trying to phase out his whole kind, truly turn them into no more than animals that needed to be killed. How could they ever show how normal they could be if no one gave them a chance? Then he reminded himself what he'd long since came to the conclusion of, no one cared.

Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further.

Remus blinked in a bit of surprise for that. From what he'd gathered, Harry hadn't much to do with him in his own time, so the fact that he had such a strong reaction like that really did warm him up a bit. He really hadn't thought it possible for a long time anyone outside his friends could see him as any more than a monster, but first Lily and now Harry...

Hermione demanded what that woman had against werewolves, and Sirius said it was all part-humans, she'd even tried to round up all merpeople and have them tagged a few years back, imagine wasting the energy on such things when toe rags like Kreacher were about.

"I'm sure she doesn't like them any better," Remus scoffed to try and lighten back up the mood, at least trying to pretend as he always did he hadn't heard a word about this. "House-elves do have a certain human shape but aren't, so they're in the-"

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs to get him to shut up, no one wanted to hear him play this off right now.

Ron laughed but Hermione looked offended, trying to tell Sirius if he'd just make an attempt, she was sure Kreacher would respond.

Sirius knew he'd rather lose his dessert privileges than indulge in any such nonsense, and wished Hermione would quit harping on that.

Harry thought the same, if only because it left such a tight feeling of unease in him he felt the urge to cry and refused to understand why.

Dumbledore did say-

Sirius blatantly ignored her and asked what Umbridge's lessons were like, was she training them to kill half-breeds?

"No, that would actually be useful," Remus snorted lightly, before wincing and wishing he hadn't spoken at all for the nasty look his friends gave him for that.

Harry said no while Hermione looked affronted her defense had been cut off.

"You'd really think at some point she'd realize, no one cares!" James threw his hands up in exasperation.

She wasn't letting them use magic at all.

This didn't surprise Sirius though, as he'd heard that the Minister was growing more paranoid by the day and no longer wanted the students trained in combat.

Harry was stunned, asking why, did she think they were forming their own army?

Sirius agreed that was exactly what his delusions feared, the man thought Dumbledore was amassing his own force to overthrow the Ministry.

"I've never heard something so idiotic in my life," James deadpanned, "and I've lived with these two for seven years."

"I, really wish Sirius was making a joke right now," Lily agreed.

There was a pause before Ron stated that was the stupidest thing he'd heard in his life, and he'd been around Luna Lovegood.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment, or-" Sirius began in confusion before Remus shushed him.

Hermione was outraged this was the reason behind their lack of education, while Sirius elaborated Fudge was convinced Dumbledore would do anything to get power, it's only a matter of time before he has the man arrested at this point.

"That'll be the day," Remus scoffed while Harry frowned at the idea, he really didn't like the sound of that.

Harry asked if he knew anything about this big deal that was supposed to be in the Prophet tomorrow Percy had dropped hints about, but Sirius said he hadn't a clue, no one had actually been around all week.

Lily's voice shook with pity there, to which Sirius was both grateful for, and wanted to make some snide comment at her for. Thankfully she kept going loudly before he could act on either.

Sirius' voice had quickly turned bitter as he said this, so Harry instead asked about Hagrid.

Sirius didn't seem too concerned, saying while he was supposed to be back by now and they weren't sure why he wasn't,

"Tactless as ever," Lily grumbled at him, ignoring her own increasing worry at those confirmed fears. Surely if this was a real problem though Sirius would be more concerned, he at least had a like for Hagrid even without knowing what all he'd done for Harry. This wasn't necessarily a death sentence if someone didn't come back from a mission on schedule...

but upon seeing their stricken faces Sirius quickly said Dumbledore wasn't worried about it, so everything was surely fine. Maxime had gone with him, and she'd arrived back on schedule and simply said they'd split up on the journey home, there was no reason to suggest a real problem.

"I think we need to have a refresher course on those talks about reassuring people Sirius," Remus groaned, as that had helped no one at any point it seemed.

The three exchanged a still anxious look, but Sirius insisted for them not to go around asking questions and drawing attention to this.

"We haven't been," Harry said just a touch indignantly, "you were the only one I'd asked."

"Well I know that now," Sirius rolled his eyes in exasperation, causing Harry to back down.

Then Sirius flipped topics to asking when their next Hogsmeade weekend was, he wanted to show up and-

"And just why would you think that would cheer them up?" Lily began anxiously as she fought the compulsion to stick a muzzle on Sirius. "You were already spotted once, what makes you think it a good idea to have another go?"

"Stop being such a worry wart Lily," James scoffed at once. "He needs out of that place more, even if it is at sporadic times like Hogsmeade weekends."

"Where was this attitude last year?" Remus demanded uneasily, this conversation just kept getting worse with everything his last best friend said.

"Last year Sirius was on the run, getting all the air he needed, so I was just worried about him covering his tail," James scowled at Remus for the lack of backup. "Now I'm worried what he'll do if he doesn't get out more."

Sirius longed for the time where he could have basked in having a whole conversation about him, now he just looked miserable and didn't account for anyone, he just wanted to forget about the existence of that house and his whole damn future.

Harry and Hermione shouted no at once, Hermione quickly saying the article they'd found this morning. Sirius brushed this off, saying they were always guessing something and it never panned out.

"I mean, I suppose so long as Kingsley is still pushing for Australia or something, whatever Malfoy said could be brushed off easily enough," Remus tried to say with some encouragement that fell flat to all worried parties.

Harry insisted Lucius had spotted him near that train, and what if Draco did in Hogsmeade?

"Then don't go near Malfoy," James scoffed. "Honestly, Padfoot knows every hole of that area better than the local cats."

"Doesn't make the risk any less," Lily sighed without too much of a fight, recognizing whatever Sirius wanted to do, he'd do it with or without anyone's support.

Sirius scowled at them before saying he wouldn't, he'd just thought they'd like to get together.

"You really are breaking my heart here pup," Sirius tried for a flippant tone while Harry eyed his godfather with great worry. Ever since he'd left that platform, Harry had an ever growing fear of the next time Sirius left that house, leaving his tongue paralyzed and unable to respond...

Harry insisted he just didn't want to see him back in Azkaban!

Sirius' face went flat blank as he said Harry was less like his father than Sirius had thought, the risk would have been what made it fun for James.

Sirius actually recoiled, suddenly looking ready to burst into tears any moment as he had concrete proof. Merlin's sake, he really had lost his mind if he thought even for a moment he'd been talking to James-

Lily had just huffed and rolled her eyes at the stupid comment, she didn't even seem to realize Sirius had taken it so personally while James kept his eyes firmly on his best mate now.

Remus reacted on instinct by smacking Sirius upside the head for that, muttering, "would you rather him be like you, not thinking before you speak."

Sirius hardly seemed to realize what had been spoken as he whispered back, "that hurt you know."

Remus wasn't sure if he meant the comment, or the blow, as he rolled his eyes and said, "I didn't damage anything important."

"All of me is important!" He shot back with almost a pout, managing to keep himself distracted at least for a few seconds while Lily finished.

Harry tried to say something else, but Sirius said he'd write again whenever Harry could stand the risk, and then he was gone.

Remus was looking from James to Sirius uneasily, as Lily looked up to indicate she was done and seemed to realize for the first time that had bothered the two, so Remus began ardently, "wonder if we should take a quick break again. I'm sure someone should check on the baby's dipper, and I-"

"Yeah, that's great Moony. Padfoot, can I borrow you for a moment," James snapped, not waiting for any preamble as he made his way for the stairs and Sirius followed reluctantly.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

* This one gets under my skin out of confusion. Either Harry has completely forgotten the fact that he was the one who had to trick Malfoy into giving Dobby that sock, otherwise he could have just done it himself and set Dobby free if that was his intentions, or he really thought Hermione found a way around this law and it's just never addressed. This is a real problem with the narrative between two and five that is never brought up.

**I know that's a really subjective number, considering by most math there would only be about 300, but JK has said there were actually almost a thousand. I personally more invasion somewhere in the middle, though I imagine the population slump from the war and other variables actually makes the number fluctuate between those two numbers throughout the years, so who really knows.

*** This moment genuinely annoys me for two reasons. The twins specifically say the purple half is the 'cure' pill for their works, and this is proven in the very last chapter where they gave purple pills to the first years to wake them up, so they did indeed give the right pill. Problem two with this, is then, what do you mean you gave her the wrong pill? Either you color swapped a batch in which case you lot are far more idiotic than I thought for all your hard work doing this, or this is just some serious (shut up Sirius!) errors with the flowing work. Twice in one chapter man...

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #Marauders #OotP #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #The LIfe that Never LIved

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