#I don’t need to be jumpscared every five minutes

[flamefatalis]

People are already starting to set off fireworks. Why??

[aureatchi]

.🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖ WHAT A SCAREDY CAT ! — nakahara chuuya

“aw, poor baby. movie too scary, doll?” “shut up chuuya.”

a/n. it’s spooky szn !! so of course i need to write something fit for the occasion…so,, why not do it w my fav ginger-haired!

info. fem!reader. fluff. lowercase ✎. profanities. horror movies, drinking, small argument. it gets suggestive sjwsj, neck kissing. wc. 1.9k

“oh, this is so cute.” 

you and your lover both shared an eye for aesthetics. that’s why you gazed so proudly at the coffee table in front of you when you stepped back to see the finished product—the rounded table was filled to the curved edges with your favorite takeout meal, bowls of junk sweets to indulge in after, popcorn, two wine glasses, and accompanying of course, a bottle of wine. other than the food, there were two lit candles to set the ambiance of the space, and a jack-o-lantern chuuya had carved himself. 

all were organized beside each other to make it look like it came out of a pinterest post.

“i agree,” chuuya replied with a smug smile, also proud of your combined work. he joined you on the side. 

you grabbed your digital camera resting on your couch and took a picture of the cozy scene. 

“before it all gets ruined,” you chuckled. 

chuuya then took the camera, turning the lens towards the both of you. 

“let’s take a few together,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pose. you and chuuya were also wearing matching pajamas: black tees and halloween themed pants. 

“okay!” 

click! click! click! 

the trio included a picture of you holding up a heart with your hands as chuuya’s arm encased around you, a picture of you turned towards him with your arms around his neck (you realized the flash was very bright), and one more of you kissing his cheek. 

“awh!” you widely grinned as you looked through them, giggling to yourself when you noticed how the camera captured chuuya’s conspicuous blush in the last photo. 

“what’chu laughing at?” he asked, looking over your shoulder. 

“nothing, it’s just cute,” you replied, putting your camera away. “can we eat now?” 

“yeah,” he replied, motioning towards the snug sofa nuzzled with your cushiest of blankets.

you enveloped them around you as chuuya grabbed the remote control to browse movies on the tv. 

RANKED #1 HORROR MOVIE THIS YEAR!

“wanna watch this?” chuuya asked, hovering the selection over the movie. “i just realized we’ve never watched a horror movie together.” 

“yeah, if you want me screaming and retreating on your lap every five minutes.” 

“exactly,” he replied, smirking. “that would be nice⎯”

“too bad. i was joking. i don’t get scared easily.” 

you held an opposing smirk back, but in reality, you did get agitated easily, especially when jumpscares were involved. but you felt stubborn and didn’t want to give what chuuya wanted, so you decided to take it on as a challenge. 

and he seemed to sense your game too. “better not catch ya lying, doll. there’s consequences for everything.” 

“what do you mean by that?” you asked, your face heating up, but he gave no answer to your avail. now you really had a challenge. 

“…whatever. i don’t need to know anyway. i’m not getting scared.” 

“hm,” chuuya said as he clicked on the movie. up popped a screen with the synopsis of the two-hour film, including all of the content warnings. 

…murder, blood, sudden jumpscares…

oh shoot.

chuuya pressed play, and immediately, the movie started.

…

the first twenty minutes were actually okay. there hadn’t been anything too much to frighten you yet⎯eerie music, corporate workers, and dark rooms were the only thing you had seen so far. 

“damn, when does this good?” chuuya mumbled, finishing eating the last of your main course. 

you were glad things hadn’t been intimidating to you so far. but you also knew your lover was awaiting for something to happen, something to cause him to win.

that wasn’t going to happen. 

you were snacking on the bucket of popcorn when suddenly, a creepy humanoid creature engulfed the screen, accompanied by a petrifying sound. there was no way to see that coming⎯there was no warning. you couldn’t help but squeal and jump slightly on the couch, the bucket of popcorn following. luckily, it wasn’t so much that it fell and made a mess. 

“o-oh shoot! chuuya, i thought i saw a spider!” you said right after the moment passed, turning your head and making it look like you were searching the cushions for a spider. you knew he was watching for your reaction the entire time. 

“spider, yeah?” chuuya asked, amused. “nice excuse, sweetheart.” 

you crossed your arms. “okay! that was a mild reaction! i didn’t jump on you so that doesn’t count.” 

“scared yet?” 

“nope!” you popped the p. yet, a shiver went down your spine.

you continued watching the movie. more horror started to seep in, grisly scenes causing unease. you weren’t sure if you preferred those drawn-out sights to the jumpscares, but you could hide your reactions better with the former. you hadn’t seen any more sudden clips yet, thankfully. 

“yikes,” you and chuuya said when a corpse got shot multiple times even after they already died and then mutilated. 

“i’m opening the wine,” chuuya said about an hour and thirty minutes into the movie. 

“alright,” you replied, not opposing. you probably even supported it. maybe if you drank a little, you wouldn’t scare so easy.

especially because you could feel the plot’s climax approaching. you were already suffocating a couple of pillows on your lap in anxiousness. 

chuuya poured the glasses and handed one to you. you quietly finished yours quickly so you could have it refilled. 

“oh shit!” you shouted when the main character suddenly made a super stupid decision⎯as you probably did too by pretending that you didn’t spooked⎯of course resulting in a chase by the disgusting creature that popped out of nowhere earlier. you clutched the pillows even harder, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. you needed to prove to chuuya you weren’t lying to him. 

the wine was not strong enough against the fear-fueled adrenaline that surged through you, paralleling the intensifying background music. 

stupid chuuya. he made sure the volume was cinema-loud. it did not help trying to drown out the creepy atmosphere that engulfed the entire room. 

the figure suddenly appeared in front of the protagonist with a dramatic scream.

“AHH!” you screamed too, but immediately bit down on your hand right after. 

but then it happened again. the main character turned a corner, and it popped up again, even more disturbing than the last time. 

“AHHH!” 

you screamed again, jumping on chuuya to try and bury your face on his neck. your heart was racing from the images you had seen. 

but he had other plans. 

“aw, poor baby. movie too scary, doll?” 

“shut up chuuya!” you replied, yet you still gripped tightly on his shirt. 

but then, chuuya pushed you off of him.  

“chuuya!” you tried to climb back on him, but something was preventing you from making contact with his skin. 

“…are you using gravity manipulation?!”

“i thought you said you wouldn’t get scared,” he taunted with a smirk. “eyes on the screen, brave girl.” 

“you’re so mean!” you shouted, but faced back toward the tv. he had even gone out of his way to use his ability to turn your own words against yourse⎯

“AHHH! WHATTHEFUCK!” 

you were already screaming as the creature finally caught the main character, but you weren’t alone as chuuya cursed and pulled you on top of him, horrified.

“DAMMIT. what the hell was THAT?” 

“put us down, we’re FLOATING!” you cried. it didn’t help at all that you were both scared and floating above all solid surface, even though it was only about three feet.

“s-shit, sorry!” 

he rested the both of you down on the sofa once again. you had missed most of the eerie epilogue, but you didn’t really care when your brain had now conjured a new character for your nightmares. 

chuuya poured the last of the bottle’s contents into your glasses and handed you yours. you finished the cherry-red liquid instantly to try to get some relief. 

you turned towards chuuya right after to see that he had done the same. and then, you broke out laughing. 

the ginger-haired raised an eyebrow and glared back at you as you continued to stare at him and snicker.

“i-i didn’t know YOU were a scaredy cat,” you tried to speak, but it was hard when you were overcome by laughter. your stomach was hurting and your chest was heaving, but you couldn’t stop. 

“shut up!” he shouted. 

“i-i can’t!” you replied, continuing to laugh. “how ironic⎯it’s one thing for me, but the port mafia executive? getting scared?!” 

you were only silenced when chuuya had pulled you on his waist once again. 

“if you didn’t think you were in trouble for lying, you definitely are now.” 

you immediately stopped, staring into his eyes. you had forgotten about his temper.

“wait, i’m sorry!” but your apology was futile because you were immediately lifted once again but this time, higher and alone.

“put me down, chuuya, i’m sorry!” you screamed, about eleven feet off of the floor. you really hated his ability sometimes.

“why should i?!” he observed you from the couch, trying to grab onto something but stuck inside a sphere of air. he would never try to hurt you, even while he was mad, but currently, his ego had been offended by your words.

“i was joking, chuu! i didn’t actually mean it⎯i promise! i’m sorry, i’ll make it up to you.”

you were slowly lowered, relieved once your legs hit the couch.

“i’m sorry,” he said, quietly after you had made sure you could stand on floor again. “i got carried away, plus you weren’t wrong.” he sighed at the confession.

“it’s okay,” you replied, straddling his lap. “that just makes the two of us scaredy cats. i think that’s cute.” you booped him on the nose.

“but you’re the bigger one,” chuuya provoked.

“no! you are!”

“you are!”

“you are!”

“who’s the one on my lap?” he asked, moving a piece of your hair out of your face as he smirked. “just as she foreshadowed earlier too?”

“shut up,” you replied, but he had gotten you where he wanted in the end. “want a trophy or something?”

“no, you’re just gonna make it up to me now.“

he pulled you closer, and kissed you softly, seeing if your reaction would allow him to continue.

you pulled back. “if this is what i have to do, that’s easy.” you leaned back in and resumed the kiss, lifting your hands to play with chuuya’s hair. you could still taste the wine on his lips⎯it made you feel even more high combined with the tension between you two as he kissed you deeper.

he pulled back for the both of you to catch breath and then spoke.

“you’re funny if you think that’s it, doll.”

he moved one of his hands to move your hair away from your neck and the other to cup your cheek on the opposite side.

he started kissing there, and then, sucking.

“…chuuya?”

“this is for lying to me,” he said, focusing on the spot. once he was done, he moved to another.

“and for making fun of me.” he sucked again, until your neck had two new red marks.

“…keep going.”

“yeah? want more?”

“yes. it helps me not think of that scary murderer in the movie.” chuuya laughed.

“alright, i’ll help take the scaredy cat’s mind off of the things that bring her fear.”

“hey! stop calling me th⎯”

you were silenced as he went back to what he was doing, until your entire neck was filled with shades of red.

reblogs are cherished. <3

© AUREATCHI 2023. no reposts or translations. do not steal — including this post’s banners (they’re mine).

[mychapel-004]

i am about to ramble like a crazy person abt the fnaf movie so scroll if u don’t like spoilers

was not expecting all the love on my last post so i will keep posting thoughts abt the movie

another thing that rlly interested me in the movie was the focus on images, how humans process things through what we see rather than context, and how this sets up the fnaf movie trilogy to focus on fnaf 4 in the next movies.

the most obvious example is abby, we’re explicitly told that children communicate and understand things through pictures, which mike sorta shrugs off until he starts seeing the bigger picture. this then applies to the animatronics when he learns that they are also children and incredibly influenced by the drawings in their environment. the restaurant in the movie is very much a living thing of its own, the way it thrums to life when abby enters, and the animatronics know the truth of the drawing the second it is pinned up, and the animatronics are an extension of that.

a less obvious example is mike. even though he shrugs off abby’s teacher, and the point she makes about him being at the centre of all her pictures, he is much the same. it isn’t just children who are influenced by images. he has been returning to the same image every night for we don’t even know how long, the same picture of the nebraskan trees, the same perfect family picture he describes to vanessa, the same image of his brother looking at him out of the car window. everything he does is a result of this image. he is wholly consumed by it, believes he can somehow change the picture and see the truth beneath it if he just tries hard enough.

the ghost children, specifically golden freddy, change the image for him in an attempt to placate him into giving them abby, but no matter if he dreams of a happy family, it wont change the truth of what happened. just like how pasting a picture of five children happily holding hands with a golden bunny won’t change the truth underneath. images are fallible, they don’t tell the truth and we cannot trust our brains.

firstly i think this is a really fun direction to take in context to how the movie humanises the animatronics. fnaf 1 is a game made entirely of scary, still images of the animatronics, save for the jumpscares and foxy’s run. the lore is sparse and entirely given through exposition (if i hear one more person complain abt vanny only being there for exposition and not phone guy’s two minute loredump at the start of every night in the game i will lose it), and we know nothing other than that our death is imminent.

but the truth is that these animatronics are kids. they’re scared and lost and confused and cannot understand what has happened. underneath bonnie in the west hallway camera and freddy staring at you from the showtime room are terrified kids doing what they feel they have to. the movie was incredibly dedicated to showing that these kids still want to build pillow forts and sing to music and tickle their friends and be a family and i think it was a great choice.

i think all this focus on images is definitely a perfect lead into fnaf 4 (im not 100% on my book lore but i believe there are three books that cover fnaf 1, fnaf 4 and then sister location??) especially with the recent lore update that all of fnaf 4 is hallucinations. we don’t need a lore explanation of how the nightmares could be real because… they aren’t. following the game timeline, fnaf 4 would have already happened by now but we could easily see a return to it through mike, especially if the schmidt-emily or schmidt-afton theories are true and mike could have been the child in fnaf 4 but surpressed his memories. firstly we have a protagonist who is already on sleeping medication and has dreams that can be easily manipulated. this is a perfect setup for the nightmare animatronics to start making themselves known.

i also think that fnaf 1 was intentionally visually tame. the themes of the movie are actually very dark, they don’t shy away from the truth of the bodies being hidden in the suits, the animatronics Very Brutally kill the burglars, max is literally bitten in half and her body is hidden away, but the on-screen gore keeps it pg. this 100% allows them to experiment further with the levels of gore, tension and violence if they do fnaf 4, because quite frankly some of the nightmares are horrifying.

TLDR this movie sets up a million directions and theories that the next one could go in, and theres nothing the fnaf fandom loves more than vague lore and theory crafting

vanny post next bc i have Thoughts

[lemonjamdraws]

LILANETTE WEEK DAY 4 - SPOOKY

marinette plays NOT silent hill remake btw

“Why would I be scared?” Lila tucks her legs up on the sofa, wrapped up in cozy blankets as Marinette sets the mugs of pumpkin spiced hot chocolate down on the coffee table.

“It’s a pretty intense game,” Marinette answers, falling back into the cushions beside her friend, controller in hand. And what a weird evolution of their relationship thus far. In a bid for Marinette’s social standing, Lila has been interjecting herself into the girl’s life more and more. Without as many outrageous lies, the Italian is much more tolerable and even fun to be around, with many a cutting word. 

Of course, her pointed and public disdain of Chloe always helps gain Marinette’s favor. For whatever reason Lila has wiggled her way into being one of Marinette’s closest friends and even her most regular guest, more than Alya even as the reporter is often working on the Ladyblog, babysitting her sisters, and hanging out with Nino. Both of Marinette’s parents love Lila, who knows exactly the right way to compliment the pastries of the bakery and praise Marinette’s work as the class representative.

Lila shifts to press her shoulder up against Marinette’s, getting close and warm. With as handsy as Lila was with Adrien and other classmates, Marinette isn’t surprised. 

“It’s just a game,” she scoffs, “I’m sure I can handle it. I’m not a child.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

Silence falls briefly over them as Marinette boots up the console and launches the newest Quiet Mountain remake that was released just a day ago. For whatever reason Lila offered to accompany Marinette to the midnight release, leading to the two girls standing in a line in the crisp autumn cold for hours. Horror games (or games in general) don’t really seem to be Lila’s jam but to be fair, she’s called out a few terms and gamer lingo every once in a while so she may know more than she lets on.

Five minutes in, the most obvious jumpscare pops out and Lila jolts so hard she nearly spills the hot chocolate in her hands, a short shriek escaping her lips.

“What was that you said about being able to handle it?” Marinette says, amused as she pauses the game briefly. Lila immediately sets the cup down as she schools herself quickly.

“I was just testing you,” she says, looking away.

“You don’t have to watch me play this, you know,” Marinette says, patting her on the head.

“Unpause,” Lila returns, “I’m fine.”

“If you say so…”

Another ten minutes pass and it ends with Lila gorilla gripping Marinette’s shoulder, yelling again. It’s surprisingly cute and she laughs, barely maintaining enough focus to place her character in a safe hiding spot.

“My parents are going to wonder who’s getting killed if you keep that up,” Marinette says with a grin, chuckling. Lila’s cheeks darken as she pulls away. “But you can keep holding on, if you want. Just be careful cause I do need to use the controller.”

Lila readjusts herself and doesn’t deign to reply as she replaces her hands to wrap around Marinette’s elbow, which is definitely going to impede her gameplay at some point. Marinette wonders why Lila is putting up with all this if she doesn’t enjoy horror, but she returns to the game anyway. Lila’s fingers dig in at times, when the tension rises and the enemies begin to patrol the levels. At some point in time the weather takes a turn for the worse and a rhythmic drumming of rain sounds from the windows.

Despite her screaming and shrieking at all the jumpscares, Lila starts getting invested in the story, eyes wide as she reads the subtitles. An hour in, and even Marinette gets got. As practiced a gamer as she is, she isn’t immune to every jumpscare or well-designed horror encounter, and it’s during a particularly intense chase scene that she starts yelling too.

“ Go, go, go!” Lila’s chanting desperately, on the edge of her seat.

“ Runrunrunrunrunrunrun-” Marinette repeats, sweating as she barely succeeds a quicktime event. The player character rolls and leaps through the narrow opening and falls to safety on the other side and Marinette wheezes in relief.

“Holy shit,” Lila says.

“Yea, holy f-aaaAIUUGH!” Marinette’s words are cut short by a rising shriek of her own as the game camera is violently shaken, a creature from nowhere grabbing the character’s arm and forcing it close. Lila jolts, not expecting Marinette’s terror and practically knocks the controller clean out of her hands. Miraculously the menu button gets pressed in the chaos so the game pauses, but Marinette is heaving breaths, adrenaline rocking her body.

A few seconds pass as the two girls look at each other, breathing heavily. A laugh escapes Marinette as the tension settles. When did the sun set? It’s so dark outside.

Crack!

Lila’s most bloodcurdling shriek yet comes as the power goes out, plunging the two into complete darkness and Marinette can hardly see a thing. Warm comes against her as what must be Lila launches herself towards her, grabbing on for dear life. She falls down with the impact, trapped underneath Lila on the couch cushions.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Lila says frantically, “oh my god.”

“That was a well-timed lightning strike,” Marinette says, trying to play it cool, “holy shit.”

Marinette can feel as Lila buries her face into her shoulder, her arms tightening even further. Making a fond smile, Marinette returns the hug. A girl could use some grounding physical sensation in this moment. Holding Lila feels nice , even if the girl is practically hyperventilating.

“I’m not scared,” Lila says into her shirt.

“Of course not,” Marinette says. “Let me go get the candles.”

Fingers tighten against her.

“You could just stay here instead,” Lila suggests, her voice wavering.

“I won’t be going too far.”

Silence as Lila only continues to cling to her, her breaths slowing down. Marinette strokes down Lila’s hair, hoping it’ll help calm her down. She feels around with her free hand to draw the throw blanket back across the both of them.

“I guess it was late enough already,” Marinette says, softer, “we can just sleep for the night.”

It’s in the moments like these when Alya’s teasing words come to mind, always joking about how Marinette should just get together with Lila and call it good. But Lila has never asked her out or anything like that, to her knowledge. And half the time the bridges of physical intimacy they share aren’t even that different from what she does with Alya or some of her other girl friends, though she guesses she doesn’t usually snuggle them for longer than a short hug.

That being said, Lila is comfortable in her arms. She’s warm and her hair is soft. Marinette rolls them onto their sides and tucks Lila’s head under her chin, thinking she might still be spooked. Quiet Mountain doesn’t really lend to a peaceful night’s sleep, so the girl might have trouble getting rest. Lila only silently presses herself closer against Marinette, not saying a single word as her breathing calms down.

Well, at least it’s a Friday night anyway. No need to worry about waking up early.

“Well, good night,” she says, and Lila nuzzles in for the rest of the evening.

[nathandrakeisabottom]

What Lovers Share: Nathan Drake x Reader

Summary: Nate tells you historical fun facts while you warm his globes. Huevos in French. Besties who just happen to enjoy swapping spit. Warning: Explicit. C*ck-warming, B*ll-suckin', B*kkake, C*m-eating, historical fact jumpscare, ***, ***, ***, f*ck Tumblr censorship.

“You, uh… you happy down there?” Nathan goads warmth with a tender smile, holds a book in one hand and your cheek in the other, smile lines kind and traced in the barest flicker of demurity. He forces his eyesight back to script before your answer; his nerves obviously need distraction when your request needles beyond nudity. A proposition you had dreamed of since Nairobi. 

He’s warm and gooey, and you respond with no treat, no reply but your tongue laving soft around the shape in your mouth. You love him in here. You always have. To the point of obsession, mindless, ravenous, lazy and dumb, you beg him when he claims there’s no time. He’s gross down there right now. Sam’s around, he’ll catch you two. And he won’t survive a goddamn minute if they just let him wander wild for however long she eats: a lonely little girl lapping and suckling his baby brother’s balls like the last water left on Earth. 

Only because the iodine got lost in the shipwreck, you snort in facetious rationale to yourself.

But there’s no shortage of time, of air for gasps and moans when you gently pull back, and tug with your lips wrapped softly around, eyelashes fluttering dotingly up at him. He makes you feel like a dog— an overeager puppy begging for attention. Touch me. Pet me. Play with me. Let me taste you. 

Let me make you feel something. 

You snap to when his graveling baritone soothes over your shoulders in a hiccuping wave. 

“Y-You know, you make me nervous when you’re this quiet.”

Your pussy stokes a fire, squeezes tight when he speaks. You know. And you like. 

And you draw out further when you nuzzle deeper to suckle the fold of skin between his balls. Brush the tip of your nose teasingly along the underside of his shaft, just in the way you know he likes. You run races like tortoises and suck him so gently that he mewls in a breathy chuckle diluted of comedy and even less oxygen. Nerves. A man whose own pleasure still frightens him. 

“Heh. But… uh, something tells me you like me when I’m nervous.”

Whose own weakness still surprises him with every day you wring it from your touch. 

“Fucking def-in-it-lee.” You pop from your purpose below just to tell him, gasps in much needed breath and your joined spit still tangling below your lip. You damn held it in for long enough. 

He laughs so beautifully at that, handsome features splitting open into intricate crows feet and pink, plump, pretty lips into grins. You love the way he smiles. You love the way he laughs— and you make sure to detach to smother it as fast as possible. This irony is not lost on you. 

It’s a slobber at this point. But Nathan only meets you harder and clutches the back of your neck with a warm, meaty palm. Tugs you into him; isn’t afraid of anything. Big, gentle hands with strong grip that cradle your love and usher his second ball in your mouth everytime the first accidentally pops out. 

“Why don’t you tell me some fun facts, smart cookie?” You tack a wet kiss to his cheek when he finally allows you to break. “You know how much I love the sound of your voice.”

“Oh.” And his residual shyness has your mouth watering. It always does, his heart baring open like rushing spring water and making you hungry for more. To sacrifice for his every satisfaction. “Sure thing… got any requests?”

But you’re already back home before your answer even grows wings. Glinting skin and bubbles popping wet where veins thread like delicate, splindling cracks in a pane of glass venture past your lips. You lost restraint forty five minutes back. There is no shame in your love. Your devotion. You’d suck him all day if you could: splashing South African summer heat in translucent coats down your cheeks, hollowed out in every place you’ve decided he deserves to have tighter. Harder. Wetter. Better. 

He shudders. His hand abruptly clamps onto your own.

But no… lighter this time. Softer. Sweeter. He’s sensitive, especially down here, so you tread gentler paths with the tip of your tongue lapping in tickling hints, and his skin pulls up and up and up in adorable wrinkles with the motion. His taste: addictive. There once was a time when you would tease and complain at the oceanic sting, full body dips when he grew too lazy to tie the boat closer to shore and ‘Shit, it’s a hot one! A jump in the water sounds perfect.’ Without even bothering to take his clothes off first.

“Did you know that—” He wets his lip, a flicker, the tender pink point of his tongue. “Um…”

But those days are no more. Now, it’s a quest, a joy, a desperation to clean him. Everyday, you beg to. Please, Nathan, please let me clean you. It looks so lonely. I want it warm. I want it shiny. I want it inside where it’s safe. Where no one else can take it from me. And now, there’s a parameter for how long is not long enough. You don’t stop until you no longer taste the tang of sea against his skin. Not until he’s clean. It’s your duty.

It’s your devotion to him. 

“Heh—” He recovers with a hand to your cheek and a kiss to his palm. You remind him there is no difference, only sensual circumstance. You asked for this. Prayed for this. “Did you know that Thomas Edison didn’t actually invent the lightbulb?”

…What?

“Hm?!” You squeak from your station. He chuckles in reply.

“I know, right?!” His words jeer agastedly, giddily, eyes twinkling. “Isn’t that crazy?”

Giggles form in place of a needless answer. The things he says, the way he is, even his desire for a reply at all, to hear your voice beside his own: they only make you want to please him more. Wetter. Tighter. Better. 

Man, that shit’s crazy. 

History is so cool. 

“It was actually Warren de la Rue, almost f-forty years before Edison…”

You swoon into his wet folds and he stutters when you settle into the warmth, the wet. The place you call home. You love your man; fucking sue me. Hungry palms wrap ‘round the meaty, milky skin of his thighs without warning, toasted sun-kissed tan like roasted smores in between campfire kisses, soft nudity and plains begging for hickies. 

“He was just the one who p-perfected and p-p-patented it.” His cheeks swelter over roasting red when you lean further to tongue at the soft skin of his perineum, stutters for air in a swiftly fogging tent you both refuse to unzip. You like the way your love changes the color of his skin. “S-something about bamboo fiber…” 

“That’s amazing, baby.” But your lips are already back on his before he can elaborate amongst filaments and time periods. You swiftly ponder if he can taste his own precum on your kiss. A deeper press, a swift curl of your tongue against his, slobbery and wet, salty and sweet. Just to up your chances. Every fact he shares your way, every sense you share in return. “You’re so fucking smart.” 

And you worship his body in the only interruptions you find no shame in speaking.

He moans thick and molten below you when you wrest one hand around his neck, the other around his shaft. Force him to keep kissing you in the minute space where he tries to break for air. And your pussy clenches around nothing but the imaginary when he groans in place of resistance of another. The control and capture his every delicate sound inspires beat your man to dust.

You wring your wrist around his head, and he chokes out despairingly. 

“Honey… Do you want me to—?” He’s finally able to split, chest heaving hard against your own, your mouth itching to taste its suffocating heat, his collarbone beading with sweat, pleasing arcs in place of jewelry. An answer feels pointless.

“Yes-yes-of-fucking-course-I-do-are-fucking-kidding-me—” But you give him what he wants, anyway. His mouth tinges in laughter. 

Because you always give him what he wants.

He makes it impossible not to. 

“I fucking love you.” His lips meet yours head-on, but this time, starvation sets in. You two gasp and bite and tear right through each other. His fingers fly to the back of your neck, his arms swallowing your body into his. And you twist your purpose further down so the world knows who he belongs to. 

You’re not sure if it’s the sweat, the humidity, his taste, or simply your own gaping awe that requires your wrist high to collect a drool of spittle when you first watch it bloom. Red and raw and beautiful, just like him. A single placed hickey.

You both decided unspoken that Sam could fucking deal with seeing them. Just jealous he’s not getting them, too.

“Oh, hun.” You swear it’s your entire fucking soul that swoons when Nate’s voice resounds, little trembles like tinkling glass. He breaks beneath your touch. “My precious, little angel.”

Your tongue darts across the sharp slant of his neck before delving in for seconds. He’s so pretty, and so perfect, and so… free. Your heart can’t stand it. You’re not strong like he is. And so a second bruise quickly joins the first: higher this time, the crux of his jaw. Proof, ownership, protection. You love him too much to leave him empty, markless, unwon. There is no strength in the love you have for him.

He cries, breath releasing hot against your cheek when you roll and nestle his sack into your palm. It’s still wet with spit, stuck with sweat in every place your chin dipped a little too low. Your thumb smoothes straight down the middle, presses into his skin like a thumbprint. His whines make your mouth water against every mark. Pink, red, purple, yellow. The ones you left on his sternum on Monday, the couplings beside each nipple on Sunday, magenta on his folding tummy, yellow and pink alike on the insides of his thighs.

You kiss each and over again. An encore. A map. 

I belong here.

“Honey…” He sings so sweet. His grip, his thumb grazing at the base of your neck even as you ease back down to lave your lips over his skin. He’s heavy below. Full and warm. You’ve tasted him dozens of times before; and you know he’s a giver. You instinctively flinch from your spot below in wild anticipation when he thrusts in briefly-presumed release. Despite the shy bastard being too polite to ever try it.

But tonight, you swear you’ll remedy.

You twist left to sink your teeth into the plush skin of his thigh, swallow Wednesday’s accompanying bruises like fresh berry, and he bucks masochistically. 

And you’d give more, you’d brand him with your fucking name if you could. If he could so forgive. In every place you call him yours.

“W-w-where do you want it?” This time it’s his hand that changes for your own on a jerking ring around his shaft. He bears a teasing pace, even as his fingers clearly twitch for more. His second hand comes to cradle your head when you return, and you twist quick to press another grateful kiss into his palm before he replaces it. He’s an instinctual nurturer at the best of times: his touch warm and steady. And somehow, despite every insanity, every pitfall, every obnoxious joke and even more obnoxious beauty— he grounds you. He keeps you safe.

He’s home.

You want him to brand you, too. 

“Anywhere.” You mumble with his gifts in my mouth. Your answer is a lie.

“A-anywhere?” 

Even in sex, he’s the same: searching for answers, proof. But he doesn’t stop jerking himself, quick and smooth, whining as he cups his hand across your cheek and thumbs over where the corner of your lip drools. Holds you where he wants you. You plead you already know where he wants it. 

“God-you’re-so-pretty.” It’s fucking heaven he speaks. Your pussy throbs, fucking sings; you feel the wetness through your poor excuse for shorts. The ones you wear for him. Minimal coverage so he has more room to pull the stripe of stitch of fabric aside whenever he needs it. You love him, you love him, you love him, you love him. “So-fucking-pretty.”

And so you are cruel to him. You clamp monstrous nails into his pink, plush skin and keep him trapped, grounded, no way from escape, from shame, from want when you speak—

“Nathan, please—” “Sh-shit—!”

But of course, in your time of need, you both interrupt in the same mundane way you always do. You look up with love. He jerks himself empty. And he’s coming hard across your face before you can even give him permission to do it.

Four times. Four begs til’ he finally obeyed your pleas: a fucking record. Fucking finally. To be branded by him. And even as the warmth and wet slathers over the bridge of your nose, your forehead, the cusp of your hairline where blonde meets brunette, you’re not thinking of how dirty it is. How guilty and hysterical he’ll certainly be about it afterwards. How you have no fucking clue how you’re going to be able to sneak all the way down to the river to wash up without being caught by a Shoreline guard. 

But instead, as you move further down to wet his balls in grateful kitten-licks, and desperately pursue his prolonged pleasure, you’re only swimming in the hazy and the humid— in the impossible idea that someone so pretty could think you were pretty, too. 

He huffs for air, eyes squeezed shut, body quivering and thighs shaking, even as you hold them down. His voice breaks even, beautiful, only makes clearer the stark, pretty lines of his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. He’s always so pretty. 

And only prettier— your heart wrests in affection bordering on pain— when he forces his eyes back open just to watch you. The way he releases his only sound of pleasure, shyness submissing beneath that beautiful voice you love so much, it almost makes you believe:

“...Wow.”

That someone so lovely could think you were lovely, too.

As if the sight of your own devotion surprises him.

Then again— you think as his trembles begin to slow, your kisses ease the highward trail up his chest— he’s always surprised. Because his deepest gift has always been uncovering— every day, before every map, every sunburn, every bruise you’ve placed— another hidden reason to love the world. And he’ll never go unsatisfied, unfed again.  

Thomas Edison didn’t invent the lightbulb. Nate only knows that because he loves. 

His movements finally come to a certain stop, and all the oxygen he’s must’ve ever breathed in his life comes rolling out. One last dying gasp before he registers your mouth hovering before his. His eyes: desperately blue. His lips: pink and shiny, no longer lonely, your heart pangs swooningly, purposefully. And his fingers reach to cradle your jaw, steer you into a brutally romantic, death-defying, earth-shattering—

He twists your face away at the last second, so where you expect his lips upon yours, you are instead met with his tongue down your cheek. 

Another stripe. Wet and clinging. And your pussy throbs manic with want. Because he’s cleaning you. 

He’s eating his own cum off you. 

And you get to taste it together when he finally plunges you forward into a kiss, grip steady behind your neck, heart racing against your own. His other thumb mindlessly smears the leaking remnants of spit and cum down your chin and presses his lips to yours. Passionate, aching, hungry. And you share. You always share everything.

“Fuck, that was soooo hot,” You gasp once you part for air.

But Nathan isn’t thinking about a need for air, not even at all. Because the first words that leave his lips:

“Your turn.” Without even a pause in-between.

You’re already falling back into nylon before your thighs are immediately yanked apart, and your seeping shorts, those god-damn nearly non-existent shorts, the tan ones he’s already stained with a frantic quickie and a near-hysterical apology (they were one of your favorites; they still are) and you’ve had to cuff even higher to hide, are torn down your legs.

And when next you come— with the adorable, pink flat of his tongue and his affectionate eyes gazing up from my horizon— the only thoughts that cross my mind are how deeply you love him.

How deeply he shares with you.

And how he makes you feel something.

[seenoversundown]

Sparrow Of The Dawn : Chapter Five

Sam x Willa (Fem OC)

Warnings: Swearing, One mention of the word 'Daddy', mentions of boners? Mild accidental groping, light talk of spit kink if you squint, a lot of movie references, Jumpscare Warning: Jeremy Allen White, mentions of very minor injury, Girls Night (gender neutral term), guys being dudes, mentions of avoiding a car accident, fluff, and per usual Sam just being his usual self.

Word Count: 8k.

Author’s Note: Taco Bell IS on the boycott list and just included for entertainment purposes. Also, if you need help with figuring out which companies are on the boycott list you can download the “No Thanks” app to keep track!

Summary: Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor.

That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings “Are you callin' me darlin', are you callin' me bird?”

‘If it weren’t for bad luck, we wouldn’t have any luck at all’ is a phrase my grandfather repeated growing up. I feel that a little more deeply these days, especially when it comes to my truck. As I sit here, willing her to turn over every time I twist the key, I lose a bit more hope. I have got to get her looked at. I pull my phone from my back pocket and text the group chat, praying that someone is awake this early. 

Me: Is anyone awake that loves me enough to drive me into work. Edith wont start again ☹️

Tweedle Dee 🦐: It’s your lucky day.

It only takes about ten minutes before Josh pulls up in his white Jeep truck, and I’ve never been more thankful that we all live so close. 

“You look awfully dapper for 7:30 in the morning,” I remark, eyebrow cocked. 

“And you are just a pair of cargo shorts away from being Steve Irwin, but you don’t hear me questioning you.” He retorts. Touche. “I thought I was dropping you off at the newspaper office?”

“You are, but we’re going to Wolfe’s Neck to take some nature photos for the assignment we’re working on. I’m meeting her at the office first.” Josh and I haven’t spoken much in the last few days; he’s always busy lately, working at the bar or devoid of his phone for hours, so I fill him in on the project.

“An incredible idea, Sammy. All hers, I assume?” He chides.

“Not.. all hers. I helped.” I speak a bit more defensively than I mean to. 

“Convincing.”

“I did! We’re even using a couple of my film cameras because I’m so nice.” I further defend my stance.

He pulls up to the curb, effectively cutting our conversation short, thankfully, and I exit his car.

“Sam!” He yells jovially, and I turn around, his window fully unrolled. “Have a good day, Sammy Boy! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He twists the dial on his stereo volume. The soundtrack of my suffering plays to the tune of ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua. I wave him ‘goodbye’ with a simple middle finger as he drives off. As I make my way back to the front door, there she is. 

Birdie. 

She greets me with, “I bet he’s a nightmare in the morning.”

“You have no idea.” I reach for the door, opening it for us both and letting her walk in first because I am a gentleman; however, I am still a pain in the ass. “Is it not too early in the morning for my voice today?” 

“It's always far too early to hear your voice, Samuel.” She presses the button on the elevator and twists her shoulders toward me. 

“How are we supposed to work together if you refuse to talk to me, huh?”

“It’s not like taking pictures requires conversation.” The sound of the elevator dinging catches our attention, and we both enter. Birdie reaches to press the correct floor button.

“How about,” I start, facing her and smirking with a cocked eyebrow, “we stop for coffee and breakfast, my treat? Since now, I don’t have to break the news to you that you have to drive.”

“You.. have my attention.” The elevator arrives, and we exit right, down the hallway, through the glass door, and past the reception desk. Sharon greets us warmly with a wave; she’s no Daisy, but she is lovely. Once we reach the cubicles, we separate, unloading our belongings on our own desks. Birdie looks good today. Her earth-toned Patagonia pullover fits snuggly, along with the black leggings on her legs. The tail ends of her brown bob poking out the bottom of her tan Carhartt beanie. 

“I see you’ve dressed for the occasion.”

“Oh, uh yeah. I couldn’t exactly wear my Steve Maddens in the forest.” She stares down at the white socks and brown hiking boots I know are on her feet. “Where are we going, by the way? You never told me, just said, ‘I have a place.’”

“Wolfe’s Neck State Park, you been before?” 

“Surprisingly, no. It’s on my list though.”

“It doesn’t open until 9, so we have a little bit of time to kill before we have to leave; it’s only a half-hour drive. Maybe forty-five or fifty with breakfast.”

“Did you wanna hit up Dunkies for breakfast?” she asks.

“Please, god no. They can never get my food right. I swear they have a secret vendetta against vegetarians.” 

“I didn’t know you were a vegetarian. Is it an animals with faces thing?”

“Nah, Daniel, bet me fifty bucks I couldn’t do it. I never turn down a bet.” I sit down on my desk and cross my arms. Looking at her over the divider.

“How’d that turn out for you?”

“A new diet and fifty bucks richer,” I snicker. 

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The trail I lead her down is not a very long one. I can hear her small feet padding behind me, breaking branches and rustling leaves in quick steps. She takes two to match my every one. I figured one of the shorter trails would work better for getting in and out with enough time to head back and finish our project. 

“Ooooh, it's giving Twilight,” she beams, eyes huge with excitement.

I turn to follow her gaze toward the large, moss-covered rock wall. A few fallen, slimmer trees lay around the bottom. She runs over toward it.

“This is the skin of a killer, Bella.” Reenacting a scene from the movie. A movie I’ve definitely never seen. “I don’t care. You won’t hurt me.” she quotes dramatically, switching from Edward to Bella. She matches Bella’s awkward movements perfectly. It’s hard not to laugh, her head bobbing, arms flailing, jumping back and forth between spots for each character. I haven’t seen this side of her yet, A fun side. Who knew Birdie had it in her? 

“You know I’ve never seen Twilight before.” I lie as I slip one strap off my shoulder and pull my bag around to the front of my body. Unzipping the compartment that has her camera in it, I pull it out and give it a wiggle. She walks over to meet me. 

“Never had a girlfriend in high school who forced you to watch it?” she smiles, jokingly as she takes the camera from my hand and slips the strap around her neck, checking over her settings.

“Nope.” popping the ‘p’, “Never really dated til I got to college.” I take out my own camera.

“Aw got no game huh?” She makes a mocking frown at me as we walk down the trail. 

“Got no game, huh?” I mimic her. Way to go, Sammy. Wicked come back. That’ll teach her. 

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We take our time, snapping photos as we go until we reach the water. It's beautiful here. Large formed rocks surround the lake that makes up an amazing scenic view. The sunshine only adds to the effect. It's breathtaking every time. I can’t believe she’s never been here before. We slowly walk up to the edge of the water. She finds little crevices that the water runs through. In her continued child-like wonder she can’t help but kneel down to run her fingers through it, picking up small rocks to inspect before dropping them back into the tiny flowing river. The sun’s rays bounce off the water, the reflection a bit blinding, but I’ll take it on a day like today. It sparkles off the waves created by the small gusts of wind, which keeps me comfortable, but I notice the little shivers that run through her shoulders. Despite the minimal clouds in the sky, the sun isn’t strong enough to truly warm you from within this time of year. 

I watch as Birdie steps onto one of the taller rock formations. She brings the camera to her eye, the clicking sound pleasantly mixed with the sound of all the petite rivers running nearby. She drops her camera and tilts her face toward the sun, eyes closed, taking in the warmth from the sunshine above. She looks as peaceful as it feels out here. I snap a photo of her. She brings her arms out as if she's standing at the head of the Titanic; I snap another one. That is what Maine is about, the simplistic beauty of being with nature. Any time of year, any weather. Just enjoying the feeling of connecting to nature. Water, trees, rocks, sunshine. All of it. Always. 

I’m so lost in thoughts of her and home I don’t notice her suddenly standing in front of me. 

“Earth to Samuel.” She sing-songs, fingers waving in front of my face.

I shake my head, willing my brain to focus on the task at hand. “Yeah, what.”

“Can I put this in your bag?” She’s holding a rock. A damp, white-ish looking rock clutched between her delicate fingers. 

“Uh, sure?” I’m very confused. I open a compartment, and as she places the rock inside, she shivers again. I guess it is chilly despite the day’s sunshine. It's still March after all, though I’m not a great gauge for temperature because I run warm.

“Are you cold, Birdie?” I question.

She scrunches her nose in response. I fight with the thought of how cute that is. “I’ll be fine,” she dismisses. “I’m always cold.”

“Here, take my scarf. I’m hot anyway.” Pulling my scarf from around my neck.

She immediately gives me a side-eye. 

“It’s.. not gonna bite, Birdie?” I tease her with a little wave of the scarf.

“Not my name,” she scrunches her nose again, apprehensively reaching out to grab it. “Biting I'm not worried about. It being magically cursed into strangling me when I least suspect it, on the other hand.” She tosses her hands back and forth like an invisible set of scales. Her hands work intently as she folds the scarf in half and places it around her neck, taking the ends through the loop and pulling it tight. 

“What am I? Harry Potter?” I scoff. 

She lets out a cackle. “Not even remotely. More like Lucius Malfoy.” She raises an eyebrow at me. 

“Wow, straight to Lucius. Not even Draco, huh? Yeah, I guess I am Daddy.” I stop in my tracks as I watch her pluck another rock from the tiny river leading out toward the water.

“Ew. God, no.” Her infectious laugh hits me right in the gut.

“See, Lucius was evil.” She stands, and her eyes give me a once over before placing the rock in my hand, presumably to be put in my bag with the other one. “Draco had a good heart even if he was a little chicken. Plus,” raising her pointer finger, “he was hot. And you are neither of those things.” She turns back to the small river of flowing water.

My mind flashes back to the other night at the bar, where she’s sitting with her friend. “No, you’re right, Wilson. Sam IS cute.” Replaying in my head. 

“Oh, really?” my mischievous side coming out to play. I step toward her. 

“Mhmm.” 

“OH, REALLY??” I repeat louder, taking another step. She stands to face me.

“YES,” she says pointedly. 

I smile wide, now looking down at her. 

“That’s not what your friend said the other night.” I bite my lip, tilting my head to the side and running my hand along my jawline. I watch as her eyes follow my movement, a fire lighting behind them. I know I’ve gotten under her skin by calling her out. 

She raises both of her eyebrows, this time taking a step toward me to fully bridge the gap between us. Nearly chest to chest, nose to nose, she says, “Wow, I’m actually shocked you were able to pull your head out of your ass long enough to hear someone speak besides yourself.”

I chuckle, running my tongue along my teeth. “I don’t hear you denying it. Go on, you can say it. You think I’m hot.”

“And why would I need to deny such a clearly false statement, Samuel?” Confusion etched across her face. “You know, when you come up for air, usually you can hear better. You should try it sometime.”

“So, that’s not what I heard, huh? ‘You’re right, he IS really cute.’ ? Your friend never said that?”

“No, you didn’t. Because no, they didn’t.” She huffs. I pick up on the use of ‘they.’  

“Right, right.” I nod my head. “So, do they frequently lie to embarrass you?” a silent acknowledgment between us. 

She pulls out her phone, tapping away. 

“Whaaaat are ya doing?” I question her clear deflection. 

“Just looking to see if there is a quick care clinic open on our way home because, obviously, you need to have your ears checked out,” She pockets her phone. “Can we continue, please?” A swift eye roll follows as she turns to walk back toward the little river.

“Wait, wait, wait,” a breathy chuckle falling from my lips. “If it's not you who thinks I’m cute. Then it must be your friend, right?” She opens her mouth to try to cut me off before I even get started, but, “So, can I have their number then?” slips out before she can manage. I relish in the fact that I know I’m bothering her. 

“No, no. Absolutely not.”

“Wow, for being Birdie, you’re not much of a wing-woman, are you?”

“First off, they would hate you. Second off, what makes you think I’d ever be your wing-woman. And THIRD-OFF, that’s not my name.”

I feel a bit of satisfaction and a warm swell of my belly when her nose scrunches in distaste. 

I wander off back toward the trail we came down, keeping my gaze pointed toward the opening in the trees. Trying to focus in between the little gaps for anything interesting or photo-worthy. The leaves are not quite growing yet, and the ground still wet with leftover melted snow. I can hear the squish of the damp soil with every step I take. The lead into spring is probably my favorite time of year. Most people enjoy the summer because the weather is nice and warm and the surrounding cities are alive with tourists and events. But those moments of fresh life leading into spring show you that despite the dark coldness of the winter, you can still grow and bloom into beautiful potential. The hope of it all, to come out the other end of the darkness to greet the sunshine, is why it's such a valued season to me. 

Just then, Birdie comes padding over to me with two more rocks in her hands.

“Sam, I found more.” She calls on her way over. I, once again, pull my bag to the front, and she opens a pocket, attempting to deposit the rocks herself.

“No, not there, I have a lens in there.” I zip it back up and choose a different one. “Try this one.” As she’s trying to fit the larger of the two in there, something clicks inside my brain.

“You’re one of those girls, aren’t you?” 

“One of what?” Her brows are knit in frustration when she realizes the rock is too big. She picks another, thankfully empty, pocket.

“One of those girls that sits around with her crystals and her tarot and her moon water.” I chide.

Her hands stop what they are doing and she slowly looks up at me, eyes narrowing. “How do you know about moon water?”

“It’s a long story.” I shake my head and sidestep the comment so I don’t have to talk about ‘she who shall not be named’. “You know my brother is into all that shit. He’s got crystals all over the place.” 

“The brother that owns the bar or the one with the mustache?”

“Uhh.. both of my brothers have a mustache.” 

“You sure about that.” She smirks. Oh, they’re both gunna just looove that. “Actually, why don’t you give him my number since we seem to actually have things in common.”

“No.” immediately denying her. “If you refuse to be my wing-woman. I refuse to be your wingman. No way.”

“Fine then, at least make yourself useful and find some space to fit this in your bag.” Flashing the rock, she couldn’t fit before. 

“Seriously, how many more of these do you need, Birdie? My bag is getting heavy.” 

“How about you hold this one.” She pulls a small crystal from her bra, and drops it into my open hand. “It’s good for grounding. Maybe it’ll help center you. Woo sah, Sam. Woo Sah.” 

Very funny.

I offer to drive the way home and now I’m curled uncomfortably in the driver's seat of Birdie’s car. Partly to get warm again and partly because of the intense growling of my stomach. 

“We should stop for lunch before we head into the office,” I suggest.  

“Where?” She pulls out her phone, searching for options.

“Is there a Taco Bell nearby?” 

“You can eat at Taco Bell? I wouldn’t think a Mexican food place would be vegetarian friendly.”

“Taco Bell is hardly Mexican, but you can sub almost anything out for beans. Plus, I’m craving a crunchwrap.” 

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We pull up to the drive-through speaker, and I place my order. “I’ll have a cravings box with a black bean crunchwrap supreme, a spicy potato taco, and cheesy fiesta potatoes, and a Large Dr. Pepper, please.” Her eyes are boring holes into the side of my skull as I pull out my card to pay. I scrunch my face in question. 

“Nothing.” is all she says.

She leans over the center console to place her order, elbows perched and ass off the seat. I know she’s trying to be able to project her voice from across the car, but she is so close. I shrink back into my seat to try and give her space, but I can't escape her sweet floral perfume. Oh, she smells so good. I close my eyes, reveling in the mixture of orange blossoms and vanilla as it clouds my brain.

“I’ll have two soft taco supremes and a medium Baja Blast, please.” She plops her ass back in her seat, “Ready?” 

I open my eyes again. “Yep.”

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I hand the cashier my card and receive the receipt and we pull up to the second window. She is staring at me again with the most unpleasant face. 

“Okay, what gives. Why are you looking at me like that?”

The worker opens the window and hands us our order. Birdie's own customer service voice shining through her ‘thank you so much!’ Unwrapping our straws and sticking them in our respective drinks while I slowly pull away from the building. I reach for my Dr. Pepper and take a large, satisfying gulp. 

“How can you possibly drink that?” 

“A Dr. Pepper?”

“Yes! It's like.. Against the law in at least 22 states to not order Baja Blast when you go to Taco Bell.” she quips.

“Oh, you’re not gunna like this.” I pause.

She stares intently.

I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly, “I.. don’t.. Like Baja Blast.” 

She stares some more. This time, the brown of her eyes barely peeking through the thin space between her eyelids. 

“Dr. Pepper just hits better.” I shrug.

“We- Are not friends.” Turning back to the food in her lap.

“Consider it one of my 19 crimes,” mumbling around a bite of my lunch. 

“Every sip is a little act of warfare, Sam.” She argues a bit further down the road. “I cannot believe you would commit such.. Such TREASON in my own car.” Her hands wave theatrically in front of her.

“Oh, you’re a Queen now, are you?”

“It is my car, so if I say I’m the Queen of my car, then I’m the Queen of my car. And I rule that drinking Dr. Pepper is an act of treason.” She crosses her arms, chin raised high, a playful smirk sitting on her plush, chapstick-covered lips.  

I laugh, a good, full-bellied laugh. She’s fun when she wants to be. When she’s not being so combative.

“I’m so sorry, Your Grace,” I respond and enthusiastically take a bite of my spicy potato taco. She rolls her eyes at me.

“How much food did you order?”

“What? I’m a growing boy!” I argue.

As soon as I take another bite, chipotle sauce comes out the bottom and lands right in my lap. “Oh shit!” I once again say around my food. She starts to rummage through the bag for some napkins. When she finds one, I reach my hand out to take it, but she bypasses me completely, leaning right over the center console with her head nearly in my lap, hands working to try and get the sauce out before it stains.

That’s how I ended up praying to the Gods above that I don’t accidentally pop a boner while she cleans up my crotch. What have I done to deserve this?

“It’s fine. It’s not on the seat. It’s just on your pants. Hold on.” I squirm under the pressure of her fingers as she tugs to flatten out the fabric of my khakis to make sure she gets it all. 

“It's fine, Birdie. Birdie!” raising my voice to catch her attention, to no avail. “I can take care of it when we get back. Or we can stop off at my apartment, and I can change.” I plead, desperately wishing for this to be over. 

“I almost got it. Stop moving!” I glance down as she slaps my thigh. Holy shit. She licks the napkin then and I swear I see Jesus in the middle of the freeway. I press the brakes to slow down to avoid a collision. Trying my best to focus on the road ahead, but instead, now all I can think about is her spit on my dick. Oh God. My eyes go wide as soon as the thought crosses my mind, and my dick definitely twitches. 

Oh, don’t go there. Not now. Think Sam, Think. Grandma Althea. Her house is old and smells like moth balls. Her hands are always dry from all the fabric she touches because she’s always sewing something. She coughs really loud and wet because of the cigarettes she smokes. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when Birdie sits up. She clears her throat, “I uh think it should be all set.”

We drive the rest of the way back to the office in silence. I really hope she didn’t notice. But then again, I do have terrible luck.

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When I walk into the dark room, Birdie is already in there; the red lights casting a glow on her that reminds me of the first time she walked into my brother’s bar. Though now she’s rifling through the lower shelves.

“Whatcha lookin’ for?”  

“I uhh, I haven’t developed film since college. Tryna find some instructions.” Her ass in the air as she continues her search. 

“I don’t have nine film cameras for nothing, Birdie. I know how to develop film I can help.”

She stands and faces me, the uncomfortable expression on her face taking on a completely different view under the light. I wish I knew her well enough to know why she’s so uncomfortable. 

I get us set up with our film canisters and developing mixture while she grabs the rolls of film from my bag. We each carefully cut the film off the cassette. I try to focus on what I’m doing instead of how our fingers gently brush each other while loading the film onto the reel. I pour the developing mixture into each canister while she watches on. 

“We have to shake them every, like thirty seconds for a few minutes, and then we can do the stop bath,” I instruct her, and she nods.

Her small, delicate hands hold the rather large container as she shakes it back and forth. “Like this?” She questions, her brow furrowed. And.. I am only a man. Staring too closely at the motion of her hands, I freeze. For christ’s sake Sam. Be normal for 5 seconds. As I clear my throat to answer, I drop my canister. In her attempt to help me we end up crashing our heads together.

“OW.” “Oh Fuck.” We mumble at the same time. I feel around for the edge of the counter and end up knocking the other film canisters into the sink. 

“For fuck’s sake,” I whine. I reach to grab those, and Birdie bends down to grab the one I dropped. And, it is so dark in here she ends up ramming her head right into my junk.

“Fuck!” I yell. At the rate we’re both complaining, I’m sure they think we’re trying to fuck. If only I were that lucky. Instead, I now need to ice my goods.

I hold my breath, willing the pain to stop.

“Sorry.” her apology is small. 

A strained “It’s fine” tumbles from my lips.

We continue awkwardly fumbling around each other, trying to make sure the rest of the containers stay properly agitated, and instead, she gets properly agitated. If this was a cartoon, I’m positive that steam would be coming out of her ears.

“It’s too small in here; you are far too large, and it's too dark.” She huffs. 

“I don't know what to tell you, Birdie. It’s a darkroom, and I cannot get any smaller.”

“That’s not my fucking name.” Angrily, setting down the container with a loud thud. 

We add the stop bath and then the fixer, making sure to keep a good distance from each other, and then finally rinse and soak the film. 

When we hang the film up to dry, I realize I have about a foot on her.

“Need me to get you a stool, shortie? Or should you just hop on, and I could lift you up.” A cocky smirk spreads across my lips. 

“Nah, you’re the man you could do the heavy lifting,” she makes air quotes around ‘heavy lifting’. 

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 Once they’re fully dry, I gather the film strips and bring them to the lightbox. Scooting our stools close and setting each strip up one by one to see the negatives of our photos. Shooting nature is one of my favorite things but Birdie really does have an incredible eye for it. Of course, I’d never tell her that because she would hold it over my head. Our styles are very different, which is clear to see lined up next to each other, but they still look amazing together. 

“These.. Are really great, Birdie.” I smile down at her and bump her with my shoulder gently. Her face softens a bit and I can’t help but think how beautiful she looks. I am a man- I’m not blind.

“The hard part is choosing the best ones. It feels like choosing my favorite children.” Her infectious laugh plays through my ears, and I smile back.

We take some time discussing which ones have the best lighting or the best proportions. Which ones we think will make great features and finally settle on eight ‘prized children’ to print. The other eight photos selected for our presentation will be digitally edited and printed outside of the darkroom, making at least half of this project easy. At least the editing and printing we can do from the comfort of our homes in our PJs. Which is exactly what I will be doing after I see Daniel for dinner. 

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We settle back in the dark room using the projectors to print our respective photos. I don’t know what’s in the air today because I keep messing up. Either exposing for too long or too short and I keep running back and forth between the developing tray and my projector to try to correct it. On one of my passes, I run smack into Birdie. In my effort to stop the collision, I put my one unoccupied hand out to cushion the momentum and ended up grabbing her boob instead. For fucks sake. How does this shit keep happening?

I pause, slowly backing away. She just heavily sighs.

“Well.” She brushes her hands off and adjusts her beanie. “That’s the most action I’ve had in a minute.”

Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Is that why you’re such a tight ass?”

“No, I have,” she emphasizes, “such a tight ass because I do squats.” And now I’m thinking about her in tight gym pants doing squats.

“Well, if you ever need help loosening up a bit, you know who to call.” 

“Jeremy Allen White?” 

“Who?” I match her confused expression.

“Oh, you know, he was in Shameless. The bear?” her brow further knits each second that passes. “He just had that big ad campaign for Calvin Klein?” Calvin Klein? As in.. models. Cool. First Edward, then Draco, now.. models.

“Yes, because I definitely seem like the kind of guy who keeps up with Calvin Klein campaigns.” Really trying to drive the point home with a snarky tone. 

“Oh..” I try to read the expression on her face before she continues, “I just thought because of you.. You know, actually know how to dress yourself.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t. Your competition is the genre of men who pick up a shirt off the floor and go, ‘yeah, this smells clean’.” She stands on her tiptoes as she hangs her last photo and then promptly exits the darkroom. 

A few minutes later, she returns through the circular door. It always reminds me of something a magician would have on stage. A weird sort of contraption to ensure the light stays out and doesn’t ruin the developing process for those inside.

“Sam.” her voice is quiet again, just above a whisper. I look up at her and can barely make out her petite frame in the dark. She’s just standing, a strip of film pinched between her fingers, head hung low. 

She continues just as quietly, “Did you.. Um. When did you take these?” The realization hits me. I forgot about the pictures of her. 

“Oh. Uhh. You were just.. Ya know in your element. And I sorta thought. Well, this is a big part of what Maine is like. Ya know. Outside, nature. You just seemed.. Happy. Thought it should be captured..” I trail off. Oh God, she’s gonna think it's weird. It's not weird, though, right? No, Sam, it's fine. 

The length of silence kills me. The longer she doesn’t talk the more I start to internally freak out. As if being a naturally warm-blooded person wasn’t bad enough, I feel myself start to sweat. I wipe my forehead of the perspiration gathering there and grab at my wrists for a hair tie, of which is conveniently missing at this moment. Please say something… please.

“This.. um.” she pauses, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath. “They’re lovely, Sammy. Thank you.”

Sammy.

“Yeah.. yeah. You’re welcome.” I shift my focus back to my photo.

“So, uh.. Anyways,” she says, calling my attention back to her. “Since we’re printing the photos here and we’re editing the digital ones at home, you can just email me the finished ones when you’re done, and we can talk about the bullet points we’ll go over for the presentation.” She turns on the projector light until she gets the desired contrast, and then turns it off and carries her photo to the developer bin. I grab my own photo and walk over to meet her, dropping it in the solution to join hers. She idly uses the tongs to move her photo around the bin to help the developing process. Just like shaking a Polaroid picture, it doesn’t really work; it only passes the time. 

“That sounds good, Birdie.” I reach to grab the other set of tongs and end up blindly bumping her arm in the process, knocking hers to the ground. She bends down to retrieve them, and I set my sights on a different pair of tongs to my left. Two things happen at once. First, I bend slightly to reach the other pair. Second, she headbutts my ass. That’s two parts of me she has head-butted today.

“We’ve touched more today than I ever thought we would in this lifetime.” She groans.

“Think about us touching often, huh?” because I can’t help but try to get under her skin every chance I get. 

“Why are you like this?” she complains. She tosses the tongs back on the counter and goes to fish the photo out with her fingers. I lunge to stop her, but I’m too slow.

Now, it’s definitely not life-threatening to handle photo-developing chemicals without gloves. But they are, at the end of the day, chemicals and can sting like a bitch if you have opened wounds. Given how clumsy she is, I anticipate –

“Ouch, FUCK!” she yells, cradling her hand. I grab her by the wrist and shimmy us over to the sink, where I turn the water on cold. When the temperature is cool enough, I pull her finger under the running water.

“That was stupid of you.” I gently scold her. There’s no weight behind my words, just concern. 

“How stupid, Sam? I didn’t realize I had a cut. Is it bad? Do I need to see a doctor?” She rattles off. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” I leave one hand on her wrist, keeping it in place under the faucet, the other one I place on her cheek. Settling in the crook of her neck beneath her ear. The palm of my hand burns against her cool skin; she really is always cold. Despite the darkness of the room I still pull her gaze to meet mine. “Calm down, okay? You’re fine, I promise. A little stupid, maybe. But you’re fine.” I rub my thumb along her cheekbone, hoping to soothe her worries. I can barely make out her eyelids as they flutter closed for a moment and then open again. 

“You promise?” I can feel the anxiety radiating off her.

“I’d pinky promise if you wanted me to.” I joke, and she lets out a small giggle. Pride settles in my chest, knowing a crisis is averted.

“God, that was stupid.” she laughs again and rests her forehead against my chest.

“Lil bit.” I shake my head and slide my hand down to rub her back. Part of me doesn’t want to move from this spot, knowing she's comforted, but I ruin the moment anyway. I pull back from her, hand resting on her shoulder now. 

“Lesson learned, huh?”

She zips the top portion of her Patagonia pullover a little higher when we make it outside. I pull out my phone to see who is available to be my chauffeur home.

“Did you need a ride home, Sam?” She asks, pulling her collar up to her ears. The ends of her hair start to stick out. 

“I was just going to see which brother was a spare and could swing by.” I drop my eyes back to my phone. 

“I can give you a ride home if you want? I know you’re not too far out of my way, I can just.. Drop you off?” placing her foot on the next step down and pointing toward the parking lot. 

“You don’t have to do that. None of them do anything productive anyway.” I laugh. 

“Do you have more than just the two?” I bite my lip and smile when her brow furrows in confusion. 

“No, but you know Daniel? The bouncer? We went to grade school together so he’s been my best friend since we were like six. He's basically a brother at this point. Ya know, brotha from anotha motha.” Her gentle laugh bringing forth another swirl in my belly. 

“Oh, I was about to say. I’m not sure the world could realistically handle any more of you Kiszkas.” She says when we finally reach the sidewalk. 

“Yeah, they broke the mold with me. Realized I was peak Kiszka genes and said, ‘all done’.”

“Seriously though, I can give you a ride. It’s no big deal.”

I fall in step with her, “Why not? None of my degenerate brothers are answering me anyway.”

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The drive back to my apartment is quiet. Almost too quiet for us. The awkwardness of the day still lingering in the air. I clear my throat to cut the silence, but I can’t think of anything to say to fill it. I just fidget with my fingers instead.

“How are you getting to Boston tomorrow?”

“Uhm, well, the plan was to ride the train in like I did last time, but Edith almost made me miss it.”

“Edith. Right. Your truck.” 

“She’s having trouble turning over.” I run a hand through my hair.

“Well, I don’t want to have to worry about you missing your train and messing up this presentation for us by not being there, so i'll pick you up at like 6 a.m. if that’s fine with you.”

“You don’t have to do that. I told you I live close to my brothers. I'm sure one of them can take me.” 

“It’s really fine. I have to make the drive anyway and I really want this presentation to go off without a hitch. It would make me feel better if I knew for sure you’d be there.”

I don’t read into that sentiment. She just wants the project to be successful, and I know that. So I agree, much to my dismay. I hate feeling like a burden to people, and with Edith giving me trouble, I feel pretty much like a burden to everyone who has to deal with me. 

When we reach my apartment, she pulls over to the sidewalk out front. 

“Why don’t you put your number in my phone, and I’ll text you when I leave my apartment. I’m only like ten minutes away.” She pulls her phone out from the center console near her gear shift, and I put my contact info in. Entering my phone number and email under Sammy Kiszka with the camera emoji.

“I put my email in there so you can flag it, but shoot me a text with yours when you get home so I know where to send the digitals.” I place her phone back in her palm. “Thanks again for.. carting me around.” I let out an awkward laugh and scratch the back of my neck. 

“No problem, see you in the morning,” she gives me a tight-lipped smile. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I grab my camera bag and hop out of her car. Shutting the door with a small wave through the window. 

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When I hear the signature knock, I know Daniel’s arrived. Two quick knocks, a pause, a single knock, another pause, and ending with two quick knocks. I don’t know when he developed that habit, but he only uses it on my door. Penelope lets out a loud boof of a bark and runs ahead of me, her shaggy hair swaying with her little jumps. Well, little for Pen. When I open the door, she’s already sniffing and pawing at his legs. 

“I brought beer.” He says as he holds up the 12-pack of coronas, careful not to trip around her. “Hope you got limes.”

“It’s me. Of course, I do.” Gesturing to myself and stepping aside to let him in, “Plus, I have an extra large meat-lovers pizza on the way.” I resist the urge to make a joke about ‘meat-lovers and guys night.’ “So.. tell me what’s wrong.” I continue, following him into my kitchen. He's stacking the beers one by one inside the fridge to keep cold, Penelope impatiently waiting for her attention from her favorite uncle. Her words not mine. I can tell by the expression on his face he’s struggling with whatever is on his mind. He closes the refrigerator door and shrugs off his coat, setting it on a nearby chair. 

“Hello, Penny girl. I wouldn’t forget about you, I promise.” She laps at his fingers as he playfully pets her face. Still reaching for her head as he stands, he takes a deep breath. “I, uhh, went on a date last night..”

“Still living up to your name, I see. How was it? Awful? Terrible? Did she have a big head or lipstick on her teeth?”

“Very funny.” He snarks back. “It was terrible, thank you very much.”

Eventually, I get the full story out of him. His date, named Allie, a very adorable waitress he met through a friend of a friend, was completely horrible (pleasant), didn’t let him pay (she wanted to split the bill because her drink was expensive and she felt bad), and.. the kicker? She opened the door for him (she got to the door first). We’re each two slices and a few beers deep, and I can’t figure out where the awful comes in. 

“She sounded completely fine, Daniel. I don’t get it?” I lean back against the couch, Penny quietly snoring by my feet. 

“She ordered a salad, Sam.” he looks at me expectantly as if that answers everything. “A SALAD!”

“Oh no. A salad. How completely terrible of her.” I roll my eyes. 

“I.. want a girl who isn’t afraid of eating a burger.” he shrugs, drawing a sip of his corona and lime. 

“Do you want me to be honest with you?” I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes in frustration.

“Always.”

“Bro.. you have got to get over Melody.”

He stands, effectively scaring Pen awake, and I watch him pace back and forth in front of my TV. She pads over to him, nails clicking against the hardwood until she can get her paws on him. 

“This has nothing to do with her.” He stops and reaches down to run his fingers through her fur for some comfort through this uncomfortable topic. 

 The subject of Melody has always been a touchy one.  He dated her in high school, and we were all pretty good friends for most of our childhood. I really liked her for him, actually. Until she broke his heart when we all graduated and ran off to college, leaving him in the dust and I was the one who was left to clean up the mess. The mess being Daniel because he was.. A full blown mess. He would never admit that, though. But what can you expect when you get your heart broken for the first time? I kind of get it. He has always been and always will be my brother, and I’ll always be there for him. No matter what. Which naturally means I’ll always harbor a severe distaste for her, even if I know I don’t have to worry about seeing her ever again.

“This has everything to do with her. You haven’t been able to make it past the first day with a girl since you broke up. It’s been what? six years?” I shoot him a pointed glare. He stops pacing and crosses his arms, waiting for whatever else I have to say.

“Have you considered that trying to get to know someone while eating food is actually incredibly awkward? Or is this really just about the monstrous salad?”

“She also wanted to go for a walk after dinner.” He defends. The sigh I let out.. My God. “Why would I wanna go for a walk when I stand all day at work?” 

He cannot be serious right now. The weakest arguments known to man.

“You’re an active guy, Daniel. Why wouldn’t you want to go for a walk? Doesn’t Linda always go on about your golf arms or whatever?” 

“No, that’s completely different, and you know Linda is the love of my life.” he smiles wide, his tongue poking out just beyond his teeth. 

“Right. So what other red flags did she have?” I dig a little more. 

“Okay, well, she tried to kiss me?”

“GASP.” I feign shock. “She wanted to kiss you? How very dare she. Daniel, that’s absolutely insane. It’s not like you guys went out on a date or anything.” 

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” he plops himself back down on the couch beside me, his shadow following him until she perches her head on his knee. I swear, when he’s here, it's like I don’t exist. “Tell me about poking girl. How’s that going?” He lays his head back and pulls his trucker hat down over his eyes. 

“Good. Project is good. I still can’t ever tell if she likes me or not. We bicker and banter all day long. It’s entertaining as hell for me. Then, there are some moments where she acts like a sweet, normal girl. But most of the time, it's just bickering.” I take a swig of my beer. “I gave her a nickname to get under her skin, and she makes this face every time I say it. It's very.. Samantha from Bewitched.” I swallow my laugh down with another sip. 

“Whaddya call her?” he asks with a smirk, eyes poking out from underneath the brim.

“Birdie.”

“Birdie? Why on earth does that get under her skin?”

“Dunno.” I shrug. “But it does. And I take sick enjoyment out of irritating the fuck out of her.” I set my empty beer back down on my coffee table. 

A maniacal laugh escapes him. Clutching stomach, he bends forward. I start to wonder if he got high before he came over because what the hell is so funny?

“Oh god.” He wipes a tear from his eye and rights himself on the couch. “So you think she’s cute, huh?” 

“I mean.. I.. have eyes, yeah?” I answer with confusion heavily present in my tone. “But we don’t get along. As in cannot go five minutes without bickering, don’t get along.”

“You always did like em’ psychotic, Sam. None of us are stupid.” he chuckles.. to himself because I am not laughing. 

“No, I don’t!”

“Right, and Chelsea was what? Totally normal? You didn’t listen to a single one of us on that one, and we all told you.”  I forgot about her. The girl I dated right before ‘she who shall not be named.’ We saw each other for only a few months but what a whirlwind it was. We went to a concert an hour away, and she ran off with one of the roadies. A fricken roadie? Left me there to get home by myself, considering, yep, she drove. But again, she was hot, so what was I to do?

“Hey now! She wasn’t.. that bad.” I say innocently.

“Right, that’s what you always say. Sam – I never take advice from anyone – Kiszka.” 

“Yeah, alright, keep laughing. As if I’d take advice from ‘One Date Daniel’.” I elbow him in my defense. “Besides, I’m not sure I have much to worry about. Once the project is over, I won’t have to see her again unless we actually do well.”

I get up and head to the kitchen to retrieve another beer from the fridge, and my own dog doesn’t even glance up at me. She just rests peacefully by Daniel’s side. I open the drawer to the left and pick up the bottle opener, and pop the top. I take a long drink before I reenter the living room.

“I uhh, actually the receptionist at the Boston Globe is really cute. Her name is Daisy. We hit it off a bit when I was there last.” I point to the flowers laid on the shelf. “I stopped by the farmer’s market after work and picked up some daisies. Thought I might ask her out tomorrow.”

“Daisies for Daisy. Real creative, Sam.”

“Hey!”

“How’s Birdie gonna feel about that?” he inquires. I pick up the flowers from where they rest and give them a light sniff. 

“Oh, she’ll hate it. She already chirped me about hitting on Daisy last time we were there. Said something about ‘it's easier watching teenagers flirt.’ or whatever.” I set them back down and take up my spot on the couch. 

“Yeah, you never did have any game.” He tips his corona back, finishing the remaining liquid and setting it on the coffee table.

“You say that like your game is any better.” I shove his shoulder.

“I may be ‘One Date Daniel,’ but at least I get dates.” he chides, linking his fingers together with a crack of his knuckles in front of him and placing them behind his head.

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Chapter Four

Chapter Six

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Savanaclaw: Halloween with Them

Now for Savanaclaw! Honestly had the hardest time figuring out what I wanted to do with this dorm.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series is aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post.

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw (You're Here) | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

Halloween with Them

Theme: Movie Night

Savanaclaw normally has one of the most laid-back Halloweens out of all the dorms. Some students would go hog wild, while others would rather just hang out in their rooms. It really did depend; as for events, though? Well, you’d have to convince a pretty lazy lion to host one, which isn’t going to be happening.

Since there was no event, most students just treated it like any other week leading up to the giant party that Night Raven was hosting. However, there were a few students who did want to celebrate in different ways.

Movies. Scary movies, to be exact. Who better to show these horror movies to than someone who has never seen horror movies in this world? So, of course, you being the prefect from another world, were invited by a very specific someone to watch one.

Leona Kingscholar

Honestly, it wasn’t Leona’s decision to watch a horror movie in the first place. It was Ruggie who sent you the invite to watch the movie with him and Leona, only to go out for one of his part-time jobs last minute because they needed someone to fill in. This wasn’t going to stop you from seeing the movie, though, you made the long and treacherous journey over to Savanaclaw to watch a horror movie, and you had every intention of doing just that.

You shuffled over onto Leona’s bed, getting yourself comfortable on your stomach as the lazy man looked over at you with an unimpressed glare, “Why are you still over here?” he asked before yawning. You raised an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was being so grumpy all of a sudden.

“I want to watch a horror movie with you? Pretty simple, really.” You said, booting up the movie. It was some slasher movie Ruggie had recommended to you. You were curious as to what the slasher films were like in this world, judging by how Ruggie said the main cast had a few beastmen in it. The anticipation was killing you as you got a bit more comfortable in your spot.

“Well, I don’t….” Leona grumbled but still saddled up right next to you. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his obviously fake annoyance. He would do just about anything if you asked him to, but like hell he’d ever admit to it.

“Well, then you can leave.” You pointed out and Leona looked at you with a pissed-off glare.

“You’re in my room.” He reminded you; the laugh that came out of your mouth was sharp while you moved a bit closer to him, your hip bumping against his own.

“Then guess you’re stuck watching this movie with me.” You cooed; the title finally came up, and the movie began at that moment. Not even five minutes into the film, you heard soft snoring next to you. Leona’s arms were propped against his forearms and were tilted towards you, almost on your shoulder, as he dozed off. You couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked when he was fast asleep.

Sadly his rest didn’t last long after the first jumpscare made you scream…he’d probably get over it later.

Ruggi Bucchi

“Ruggie, this was a horrible idea.” You said, smooshing your face against his chest. He was currently lying on his back while watching the movie upside down while you laid right on top of him on his chest. You thought it was going to be some cheesy horror movie, but oh no. He managed to pick out a psychological horror that was really screwing with you.

His arms wrapped around your waist as he chuckled at your reaction, “It’s not that scary.” He said, and you groaned, propping your head back up to see the screen. The scary part had ended, and Ruggie felt you visibly relax into him again as he mindlessly rubbed circles into your hips.

“You’re not even watching it; you’re watching me.” You pointed out, and his ears twitched at your accusation. He snickered and shook his head, resting to look at the movie. It was one he had already seen a while back and compared to what was out now, it was considered an older film. It didn’t much scare him, but you weren’t exactly from this world. The special effects that they could pull off in this Universe were leagues above what they could do in yours. Even the old films of this world rivaled the newest ones where you’re from.

“I told you I’ve already seen it,” Ruggie said, noticing the movie was almost over. Good thing, too, because he was getting a bit hungry and wanted to grab something to eat before you guys watched another movie. “You’re the one who suggested a horror movie marathon.”

While what he said was true, you hadn’t anticipated they’d be this scary. You were certain even horror movie fanatics who didn’t get scared where you’re from would be jumping from some of the special effects here. “I didn’t think you’d choose something like this….” You grumbled, and Ruggie gave you a soft squeeze.

“This is just the first movie. We’re starting off easy.” He teased before wiggling his eyebrows, “Don’t tell me you’re already chickening out.” He said, and you huffed.

“Have you seen all these movies?” You asked, and he nodded, “Then we’re finding horror movies that you haven’t seen and see how well you take it.” This got Ruggie to freeze in place with a far-off smile.

“How about no?” He said, wanting to appear braver by watching movies he already knew all the twists too.

“How about yes.”

Jack Howl

The pillow and the blanket fort were up, the snacks were scattered about, and the laptop had a faint glow to it as the movie's title screen appeared. Everything was perfect as you laid next to Jack on your stomach, close enough that your arms were just touching. The warmth he radiated was comforting compared to the gore-infested title screen that was currently flickering. The soft red glow of the fairy lights was the only other light source as you clicked the play button.

“So you seriously haven’t seen a horror movie in years?” You asked Jack, who was currently snacking on some beef jerky you had bought. He grunted, leaning in a bit closer to you so he could get a better view of the screen.

“Never seen the appeal.” He shrugged, “I know they’re just actors in a movie, so they’ve never been scary.” Damn, you wished you could be like him. At least he was there for when you screamed at jumpscares. From what you heard from Ace and Deuce, this movie was filled with them and terrifying scenes. Grim was currently off with them at the moment since he claimed that scary movies were a waste of time. This left you and Jack alone at Ramshackle to watch the movies all night long.

“Not even the jumpscares?” You asked, and he nodded, “Man, you’ve gotta be built differently. I know they’re just actors, but it doesn’t stop my mind from wandering, you know?”

“I get it,” Jack murmured as the movie finally started to take off. Midway through it, you found yourself grabbing onto Jack's bicep, squeezing it whenever you got scared and sometimes curling into him. You were cursing Ace and Deuce, judging by how they didn’t tell you the movie was about a serial killer who broke into homes. You were freaking out the entire time, and that’s when it happened.

The ending, when a flash of white text appeared in front of the black screen reading “Based on a true story.”

“You’re spending the night, Jack.” You said, already freaked out. His arm was now wrapped around you to hold you a bit closer, and he froze for a moment.

“You’re that scared?” Jack asked, not realizing just how much it terrified you. He knew the jumpscares got you, but he didn’t think you’d be forcing him into a sleepover.

“Didn’t you read the last part? Based on a true story? I ain’t staying here along with that. I don’t have magic or your muscles. If someone breaks in, you’re dealing with it.” You said, and Jack huffed. He guessed he could spend the night, judging by how you two were already in sweatpants. He’d have to ensure that next time you two did this, it wasn’t based on true events.

[icharchivist]

i generally watch Youtube on my TV so i don’t have the luxury of adblockers and, yknow, just a few months ago it was mostly fine, the ads were spread out enough that it was something i was willing to bear with,

but nowadays it’s literally “two unskippable 20seconds ads every 5 minutes” and i’m at my wits end.

It’s especially aggravating when i’m watching either an ambiance video in the background to relax (thanks for ruining my CALMING MOMENT with unskippable ads for DIAPERS YOUTUBE.) or when i’m watching a long horror video game playthrough (wow this jumpscare would have been scary if this sudden ad for an insurance didn’t pop up instead!)

and esp since at this point i saw those ads a hundred times each do i really need to sit through 20 seconds of each of them every five fucking minutes

ads were always a curse on Youtube but it wasn’t like that a couple months ago. It wasn’t as frequent, it wasn’t unskippable 20s ads, and it wasn’t 2 everytime

i don’t like using my computer for Youtube bc i’m usually always doing things at the same time i’m watching stuff and running Youtube on my computer would overheat it, so like, even projecting from my adblocked computer isn’t an option exactly that’d solve my problems

i’m just so tired bro Youtube go to fucking hell.

[taiyakiiwrites]

— angsttober day #18: BREAK!!

pairing(s): izuku midoriya x gn!reader, katsuki bakugou x gn!reader, shoto todoroki x gn!reader

wc: 0.9k+ words

summary: headcanons on pulling off a halloween themed movie marathon with the big three!!

content: fluff, izuku can appreciates the halloween aesthetic a lot 😤👌, katsuki being katsuki, another reminder on how much todoroki missed out on as a kid—the poor guy, unedited writing

notes: it’s hard to write angst everyday, so i’m doing a break post and writing fluffy halloween movie marathon headcanons!! i love the big three sm and gave in immediately when the idea came to mind <33 enjoy!!

⇉ requests are open!! || main masterlist || angsttober masterlist || rules

IZUKU

when you first asked him to watch with you, he was elated

movie marathon? snacks? getting a chance to soak in that spooky month aesthetic alongside you? he is down

you two steal all the blankets and pillows from around the dorms, make some popcorn, dim the lights, close the curtains—fully set up a perfect atmosphere for halloween movies

izuku dresses up in some exclusive all might halloween-themed pajamas he got a year ago because why wouldn’t he

in your dorm (not izuku’s because things would be even more creepy with all the all might faces staring at you), you cozy up against each other and turn on the laptop, laying down on the bed as the first movie starts up

half the time, he will jolt at every jumpscare

the other half of the time, he isn’t even fazed

he has his notebook and pen in hand and jots something down every five seconds

when you look at the situation from a stranger’s perspective, it seems like izuku’s planning a murder—he filled a whole page in the first few minutes of the movie

but as his s/o, you’ve just grown not to question it

and for the first half of the movie, he’ll add in a bunch of little comments:

“why didn’t they go down that hallway? the other one looked so much better? though, is that to throw them off? is the antagonist that smart? or is it a coincidence?”

“could you potentially just keep the lights on and pack up your things, then leave? they only show up in the dark, so it’d only make sense.”

“do you think i’d survive a horror movie? i think it depends on the antagonist. for example—”

just shut him up with some popcorn if you want to be able to pay attention

when things start to get more intense, however, he will go completely silent

he is immersed in the movie

safe to say, he’ll be able to stay up the whole night watching with you in the comfort of your dorm

KATSUKI

he refuses at first

but he’s always like that so

you tease him for a bit, asking if he’s “too scared to watch with you” and that’s all it takes for him to drag you by the collar of your shirt to his dorm

you snag a couple snacks and a few blankets for the night—bakugou doesn’t need any because he is naturally a very Sweaty Man™️

bakugou just wears a black tank top and basketball shorts and somehow still looks like a goddamn model can you tell who’s my favorite out of the big three yet

the first few minutes, he already starts to dose off since he isn’t used to staying up too late, but you flick his forehead and kiss his cheek every time you see his eyelids lower for too long

bakugou says he isn’t scared of the movies, and it’s true

for the most part

it’s the quiet moments that get him—the little pieces of dialogue that reveal so much in so little words. the parts where you question your knowledge so much to the point where part of you is willing to believe whatever the villain says is true

… anyways—

yes he’s shrieked a couple of times getting caught off guard by a jumpscare

if you get too scared, he’ll vow to “protect you” from all the creepy crawlies from the movies, holding you tight with a smug grin on his face

you run out of snacks a lot faster than you thought you would, but bakugou refuses to let you out of your arms, so you just have to manage for the time being without food ;-;

don’t worry, he’ll satisfy you instead with all the kisses your heart desires

actually swooning dont hmu

SHOTO

THIS BOY HASN’T WATCHED ANY MOVIES I SWEAR

hearing this, you instantly organized a classic movie marathon for you and him

and he usually trusts you with this sort of thing—anything he missed out on as a child—so he just rolls with whatever you have in mind for the night

you plan in advance to make sure everything goes well and he could not appreciate you more

he doesn’t want to just sit around while you do all the work, so he makes sure to grab your favorite snacks when he’s grocery shopping with izuku and bakugou

just gonna ask: who again has the purest relationship?

YOU TWO OMG HDKJFJFJD

todoroki decides on some orange and black plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt, he’s just vibing and it’s great hhdjdkfj—

the movie night is filled with snuggling, whispered plot questions, and screams every now and then, whether from you or the screen (unless you laugh on instinct like me, freeze up, etc—all valid responses)

instead of shouting, todoroki’s eyes just widen incredibly wide and frowns comically; though you’re pretty sure he doesn’t mean to look funny

straight up :[ every single jumpscare aND IT’S EXTREMELY ENTERTAINING AND A LIL CUTE NGL HDKFJDJHD

he ends up actually really liking those stereotypical horror movies where the characters couldn’t be more stupid and make the worst decisions possible

some people get angry at those kind of movies, but todoroki just sits back and enjoys every minute of it

halfway through, he falls asleep with his arms wrapped around you not like violent screams from your laptop are playing at a rather loud volume or anything

you sigh and turn off your computer, then put it away and fall asleep next to him, returning the hug

[tinygameroom]

Interactive Fiction to Look Out For On Itch.io

itch.io is a trove of interactive fiction games, visual novels, and kinetic novels of all types, and I’ve run into a good handful that I think are worth highlighting (and playing again myself!)

Many of these I haven’t finished yet due to the sheer amount of content or because I went for the ending I wanted straight away, but I’d love to finish them thoroughly and perhaps review some of them in the future. 

A couple notes! First, it’s been a while since I’ve played some of these games, and some of them I haven’t seen all of the paths. I try to give warnings where needed, but my warnings might not be complete as I don’t know absolutely everything in each game. Please check the games’ pages and look after yourself!

Secondly, many of these are available free, and some are for sale at a low minimum price, but I encourage you to supporter the writers, artists, composers and developers in any way you can, whether that’s giving them a follow, donating, or just leaving a nice comment. Supporting indie creators is a huge part of what this blog is about so give back to those who create things you love! Now let’s get into the list!

Visual Novels:

Hikeback is a horror visual novel about hitchhiking, time loops, and murder. It gives a lot of incentive to keep playing and replaying, as the story advances almost every time you start again, with new choices and details being revealed as it all unravels. This game is incredibly engaging and beautifully written, and lives up to the promise of time loops and meta game mechanics. I recommend this for anyone who wants a good spooky, existential story. Be warned of loud noises, jumpscares, glitch effects, blood and violence, abuse, and themes of self harm, suicide, and depression. The itch.io pge has a list of content warnings as well as a full spoilery breakdown of warnings if you need them. You can find Hikeback on itch.io here!

Nothing to Say is a Visual Novel dating sim where you go on a date with Zoe, a girl you really like. The only problem is you’re very, very nervous. In this smart little game, you’ll be limited in how many letters you can use to express yourself, and you’ll have to unlock further dialogue options by getting to know Zoe, being honest with her, and being cute together. You’ll only earn letters from dialogue options once, encouraging you to explore more dialogue each playthrough until you get all the options to fully tell Zoe how you feel. Nothing to Say is playable here on itch.io!

Text-Interactive:

The Three-Body Problem is a queer romance interactive fiction about celestial witches living in a dark, magical wood when they encounter a young stranger. It features a nonbinary character, a potential polyamorous relationship, and healthy dom/sub dynamics. I found this story sweet and charming, with likable characters and pretty, easy to follow story writing. The Three-Body Problem deals with themes of abuse in a compassionate manner, and is in large part about healing and finding people with whom you are safe. I recommend it for anyone wanting a nice queer romance read with fantasy elements. Watch out for themes of abuse and sexual themes. You can purchase The Three-Body Problem on itch.io here for $5 or play a free mobile version from Wattpad!

Raik is a deeply Scottish fantasy melded with reality. You play as a young woman dealing with anxiety and stress trying to make it through her day, while a fantasy world unravels around her. This story has layers, and all of it is beautiful. The portrayal of anxiety is poignant and real, and the writing is gorgeous. I don’t want to say anything else to spoil it, but this game is fantastic. I recommend for anyone who likes to daydream. Please be warned of themes of anxiety, stress, and panic attacks as well as some fantasy violence. You can buy Raik here on itch.io for 3 GDP (or more! Please support the author!)

Space Frog! (I saw a lunar eclipse) is a story of a frog in space. He’s a frog and he’s in space! This is a cute, short interactive fiction with low stakes, no worries, just cute adventures of a frog in space. You can direct frog as he travels and learn more about him. It has adorable illustrations and clickable text that reveals extra flavor information. I recommend to anybody looking for a smile. You can play Space Frog here on itch.io and also download a zine of the game for $2 or more!

Floor is a text-interactive game about lying on the floor. You can lie on the floor, and you can get off the floor. What you do next is up to you! This is a short game with no real stakes, just real life boredom and activities. It may evoke feelings of loneliness or disappointment, but you can also just have some hummus. Floor can be played here on itch.io!

Apple Spice Pancakes is another short game about making pancakes with your sweetie! It’s entirely wholesome and adorable. The game text is all dialogue - the dialogue you read is from your partner, and your choices are your real-time responses to them. You can help them design your perfect breakfast while being disgustingly cute. Apple Spice Pancakes is available here on itch.io!

A Witch’s Word is a romantic text game where you have made a deal with a witch, offering her your firstborn. The only problem is you don’t have a child. Or a partner. The witch is here to help. Explore three potential relationships as your witch continues to introduce you to new sweethearts, trying to find someone who you are willing to love and who is willing to give up your child. And if you don’t want any of these people the witch offers you... maybe play the game anyway. See what can happen. A Witch’s Word is available here on itch.io!

Other:

Novena is an interactive poem! It’s a pixel art game that you navigate around, interacting with parts of the environment to read through the poem, which is about the ocean, and wishes, and expectations. And compassion. It has absolutely stunning visuals and music, and the poem makes me cry each time. Be warned of some really heavy feelings, but it will do its best to comfort you. The poem takes about five minutes to read and is here on itch.io waiting for you.

I hope a few of these games are of interest to you and that I’ve inspired you to support these great indie developers! If you wanna support me and see more articles and reviews on indie games, or encourage me as I learn to make my own, you can follow me here and on itch.io and support me with donations on ko-fi! Please reblog if you like this article, since tumblr will make it very hard to find with all these links. Have a great day and play some good games!

[3wisellamas]

SCC Halloween Headcanons

(’Tis the season!)

-Sweet's favorite candy:  Anything with caramel.  Or honey.  Or almond nougat.  (You didn't think it was JUST the milk, did you?)  He likes the sticky stuff. -Sweet never got to go trick-or-treating as a kid.  However, even though he's all grown up now, K_K insists on taking him out in costume every year to experience it!  (To his credit, when he's standing next to K_K almost everyone thinks he's a 10-year-old...) -Three words:  Pumpkin spice lattes.  Thanks to Sweet these actually sell out as early as September. -He also gets into arguments over insisting the shop smell like pumpkin spice all season, instead of the floral or sugary scents Cap'n and K_K prefer. -Overall, he's just more of a general Fall fan than a Halloween fan.  He likes when the weather starts getting cooler, and he can justify wearing gigantic sweaters and scarves and cuddling up in tons of blankets with hot drinks. -He does love carving pumpkins with his bandmates, though!  They end up with jack-o-lanterns all over the shop (though Sweet ends up cleaning piles of rotting pumpkin mush three days later all by himself...)

-Cap'n's favorite candy:  Believe it or not, he's a dark chocolate fan!  Though, he likes all chocolate, especially the kind with almonds in it (again, it's not JUST the milk!) -He also LOVES trick-or-treating, though now it's less about doing it himself and more passing on his extensive knowledge of the best neighborhoods to kids, in exchange for a percent of the proceeds of course! -(K_K and Sweet are not exempt.  They owe him a candy tax for his help every year.  But it's fine, they just give him all the stuff they don't want!) -Cap'n is also obsessed with trying to prove how brave he is, watching horror movies and going to haunted houses.  He always ends up needing to leave five minutes in, clinging to K_K for safety. -He's always the mastermind behind the trio's Halloween parties as well!  While Sweet and K_K handle the tunes and the treats, he decorates the rest of the shop, and makes and delivers the invitations by hand. -Also the master of costumes, both on the stage and on Halloween.  His bandmates usually go to him for help with theirs!

-K_K's favorite candy:  Come on, do I really have to say it?  But in addition to lemon drops, they also love...well, pretty much everything, including black licorice, candy corn, and those bland circus peanuts, but sour candy is usually their favorite! -They also revel in the opportunity to bake spooky-themed treats all season, and give them out in addition to candy to trick-or-treaters at the shop! -K_K LOVES swapping out their usual soundtrack for things more suited to the holiday, and can usually be found doing their own Monster Mashes with Cap'n.  They'll also keep one of those stock sound effects CDs loaded, and randomly play zombie moans or rattling chains or cracks of thunder -- it absolutely drives Sweet up the wall, but he hates to disappoint them so he tries to laugh along. -They've dressed up as Frankenstein's monster for the past six years.  However, with Cap'n's help they do at least switch up some of the details. -They also insist on trick-or-treating every single year, no matter how old they get, since you never outgrow free candy!  In fact, it's even more fun sharing it with Sweet! -Can and will watch the goriest horror movies, and play the most jumpscare-y video games, without even flinching.  No one knows what it takes to actually scare them, but Sweet and Cap'n are fine with that -- K_K's always there to hold them whenever Halloween gets too spooky!

[chemicalbrew]

2021 game list

aka 'I finally got tired of having to scroll really far to edit the 2022 list because I wanted originally to fuse two years in one, like a fool'

I'm pretty sure the bulk of this was made in... spring\summer 2021, but there were a bunch of games I didn't write anything for until this year, as will be evident later. This is long as hell, as you would expect.

'Veronica, why didn't you have a 2021 list ready in time???'

A question that nobody asked, but one that really needs answering, because in 2021, I gamed too much, in addition to other things. I'll make additions to the behemoth of a document that never saw the light of day in time in italics.

A lot of things have happened this year. I learned how to swim, for one! I graduated high school, too, and got into my dream university (though, honestly, it's just about as messy as any other uni in the end). I got a reasonably powerful and fully functional PC all to myself (it doesn’t even compare to the old husk I had to use in my school days!) (this year, I finally got a good phone as well, which influenced the current year's list a fuckton). And I could finally fulfill the one dream I held on to for the past two and a half years and get a Switch for myself (insert bittersweet laughing here)!! As a result, when it came to gaming, the possibilities became nigh endless. Instead of praying that a game I kinda like even manages to launch, I could dive headfirst into anything that catches my eye with confidence and no hesitation! I had so many options, in fact, that I ended up making a Backloggd account to assist myself. (yup, still helpful, though I'm much more loose about keeping track of shit now) Almost anything I played that isn’t on this list can be found there, if you’re curious! This, however, turned out to be a double-edged sword. More options means more garbage to wade through, and yet the best games tend to draw you in quicker than you think. (so true bestie)

After this, a list of games that did nothing but disappoint me that year followed. I don't want to dwell on it too much now, but I'll still mention their names:

Night in the Woods (PC, 2017) - I was way too old to be their target audience and came out thoroughly disappointed, especially in the character cast and soundtrack.

Children of Morta (PC, 2019) - the progression is too slow, the cast isn't appealing enough, there's a lot of redundancy to the point where I dropped the game. However, it was fairly pretty and I liked the narrator enough to listen to his extra works.

Spiritfarer (PC, 2020) - best described not as ‘a cozy management game about dying’, but’ as ‘much ado about nothing’. These two reviews give voice to some of my frustrations better than I can. PS. Love lighthearted ableism!

Aria's Story (PC, 2018-2019) - A very little game that has nothing of value to tell you (that hasn't been done to death already) and has cheap jumpscares every five minutes.

Hyper Light Drifter (PC, 2016) - I don’t get this one. The idea of telling a story without words seemed appealing at first, until I realized that I actually need words in my stories!

Moonlighter (PC, 2018) (confusing gameplay, boring music and plot)

OMORI (PC, 2020) (I think I have an allergy to this game)

Yume Nikki (PC, 2004) (sorry, but nah, I don’t get it)

Long Live the Queen (PC, 2012) (more like Long Live the Guide)

Owlboy (PC, 2016) (why would you do my boy Otis like that? Also, my apologies to Rads)

UnderMine (PC, 2019) (should have been called UnderGrind)

Baba is You (PC, 2019)  (actually not bad, but brain is fry)

Hand of Fate (PC, 2015) (the font hurt me, there’s nothing really good here other than narration)

Minute of Islands (PC, 2021) (should have been a picture book, otherwise it’s a neat interpretation of ‘no man is an island’)

...'okay, but surely not everything you played was garbage?'

Right you are, hypothetical reader! And this is how I would like to introduce what once was the 'honorable mention' section of my record. These notes have actual substance to them and are formatted similarly to my 2020 list! There is a game that is of particular importance (because I ended up playing its sequels in 2022) at the end of this section.

Hades (PC, 2020) [♪ House of Hades]

Yes, I get to put the game of the previous year here again, because it is my list. All things considered, I love Hades too much not to use the opportunity to mention it again! I played it till March to wrap up some of the tasks that are more… out there (learning to play without god mode, chasing extra dialogue, and climbing up in ranks), and it was fun pretty much the whole time. Streaming it was a grand time while it lasted, as well (not very long at all). All the mediocre roguelikes I touched this year fail to measure up to Hades in any capacity. 💖 Still true - my interest in roguelikes\-lites has naturally dropped since then, but Hades' excellency was a major factor in this.

Sayonara Wild Hearts (PC, 2019) [♪ Doki Doki Rush]

Kiss Your Ex And Lie About Your Genre On Steam: the game. The only thing preventing this from being a game that is barely worth mentioning is its really good soundtrack. (I played it about a quarter of the way through before realizing that a far better option than standing still and letting the music play out would be to just watch the whole thing.)

I also like the general style of it and find it pretty unique (even though Katana ZERO did something similar in a much more cohesive and enjoyable fashion), but playing it was an exercise of frustration that prevented me from appreciating the awesome landscapes. Parallel Universes is a pretty incredible level concept, yeah, but I did NOT handle it well.

I didn’t jive with any of the symbolism either (I guess it’s gay though. Good for them), however, I am still glad something as creative as this exists, even if it is clearly not cut out for me. Can’t believe I let this game gather dust for months, when I could have just given up. lol

A Hero and a Garden (PC, 2019) [♪ Shop Bell]

A clever little mix of visual novel and clicker game that manages to have an interesting story, despite starting out with the oldest of cliches (hell yeah, there's a princess!). Music is really sweet too, and even in a runtime as short as ~2 hours, you end up feeling for the protagonist. If you don't have much free time, spend it on this for a complete experience.

Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! (PC, 2021) [♪ Dreams of Love and Literature]

PM died for this.

Ohhh… A horror VN classic… Yeah, sure. It’s actually not that great, but some of the music is downright incredible (i.e. the linked song and about half of the songs added in the new edition), and it was a game that undeniably helped and inspired many people. I can’t say I regret spending time with it, but it didn’t impress me, either. The scares got ever so slightly more predictable over time, and it became clear that all they were aiming for is shock value. This game reminds me of Night in the Woods in the way that it had been severely overhyped by contemporary teenagers.

At least Yuri was pretty, I guess?.. But really, all the girls did was represent some overdone anime -dere cliche. It was very likely done on purpose, which is something to be respected for sure, but the fandom ran with it anyway, cause fandoms be fandoming. Shame! (Monika is the obvious exception, but the way they built her up was through the simplest of text dumps, oh, and they also gave her a Twitter account or something. Come on, get creative!)

Rhythm Doctor (PC, 2021) [♪ Rollerdisco Rumble]

Healing hearts and minds with the power of rhythm, hell yeah! Absolutely incredible concept! Combine that with amazing pixel art and animation that makes the small world come alive, the incredibly flashy aesthetic that draws attention from the outside and utterly fucks with your performance on the inside, and an overall message that both promotes peace and showcases humane struggles of a medical profession… the way it ends up going places you wouldn’t quite expect is just so good. And through all that, the game retains its charm and positive vibe! I want a bigger scope, though – it was over far too quickly. Oh, and a little more accessibility options wouldn’t hurt. 

The flashiness of this game reminds me of Rhythm Heaven trying to mess with the player, but pushed to an extreme, which is delightful. I had to clear most of the later levels with my eyes closed, and rewatching them later was quite an unusual and fun experience!

Coffee Talk (PC, 2020) [♪ Come Closer]

Pretty (the pixel art reminded me a lot of the PC-98, which is never a bad thing. Oh, dithering, my beloved!) and has an atmosphere, but not nearly as impactful as a game from later on this list with the exact same premise.

Can be good for a getaway\escape kinda game, and the decision to focus the soundtrack on the lo-fi genre is wonderful, but the story has no staying power, and not even the ‘make your own latte art’ gimmick ended up working out, because the process would always feel… either too realistic or too finicky, I wouldn't be able to tell. I’m no barista! Oh, and I guess there was some message about overworking employees?.. I literally forgot.

Ys: Memories of Celceta (PC, 2012-2018) [♪ Wise Man]

So, this was my… *checks notes* fifth Ys? I started with Oath (okay… I guess…), then I played I&II (and wrote about that in 2020) and dabbled in Origin (it was… exhausting to play, but well-written), and I played VIII this year before this (more on that later). So I thought I had enough experience (and understanding of the fandom’s general opinion on Celceta) to know what to expect when I began my journey in this game. Boy, was I wrong! But still, it's obvious that the earliest iteration of the party system would be worse than VIII's, and playing the games in the order that I did may have screwed my impression.

First, the good things. I actually grew unreasonably attached to the artstyle of this game. I loved the fresh take on a younger Adol just starting to give in to his lust for adventure, and the other party members had quite good designs too (especially Duran. I dunno, I can’t help but love that husk of a dude). Some of the locations were endlessly charming (I loved running laps around Casnan with its upbeat music and fun NPCs, and was awed by how pretty Danan ended up looking for a Falcom game). The world was decently fun to explore overall, but I think most of that fun came from seeing what is an early draft of what would later become Lacrimosa of Dana.

The music is absolutely lovely! Everyone loves Ys for constantly offering hardcore rock guitar bangers or whatever, and while Celceta isn’t without a couple of these, I ended up appreciating far more how much calmer it sounds as a whole. There are plenty of tracks that offer you much needed downtime, and the sound of the game feels more mellow than your usual Ys soundtrack.

The gameplay\battle system was overall serviceable, with a few nags in its way - movement felt more restricted than before, and breaking enemies’ guard felt more tedious than necessary. But hey, there’s no raids in this game! hahahahaha-

That ending single-handedly ruined a decent game and is as bad as everyone said it was. I broke down in hysterics when it actually happened. Also, I am still mad about getting only 99.3% map completion! That part of the game is crazy!!

Ib (PC, 2012) [♪ Uneasiness]

My memories of this are quite scattered, but I really enjoyed it, so have this heap of thoughts!

Aria’s Story, but good enough to leave an impression on you, since Gary is an actual character. He serves as a great mentor figure – even without coming across as stiff or all-knowing, he has a lot to give and teach Ib, which makes for a good dynamic that contrasts his disheveled looks well. It’s clear he cares about the girl, but is reluctant to show it clearly enough for her to understand fully, but she clings on to him as her last hope anyway. It’s pretty damn beautiful, actually. also the handkerchief in the true ending omg

The other girl with the yellow rose… Mary… good contrasting character, but her betrayal could be seen from a mile away, which, I guess, is the point, but still not satisfying.

Music is somewhat good too, and the game nailed the aesthetic of an art gallery (including successfully subverting expectations).

The jumpscares rely more on the physical suddenness of it all rather than psychological pressure, and it works out really well – even if you’re cringing, your body is affected. Plus, they fit well thematically, given the protagonists’ age. Speaking of which, the ??? thing (if Ib doesn’t know a word, you won’t know it either, basically) is clever, but gets old a little too quickly.

The idea of linking their life energy to fragile but sharp roses is somewhat creative and executed very well, especially regarding Gary’s blue rose.

The chase sequences were kinda annoying, but not nearly as awful as Aria, thank god.

Basically, this was the game that, alongside OFF, convinced me I might be into RPG Maker games, but, unfortunately, I've yet to find anything else that matches Ib and OFF's energy in this niche\'subgenre'. (And of course, this is talking about the version available as freeware, and not this year's rerelease, which I am curious about, but have no plans of playing.)

Butterfly Soup (PC, 2017) [♪ Thought Projection]

The most wholesome VN I have ever seen. The art is very pretty and expressive without being overwhelming (and of course, the focus on purple\pink is extremely satisfying to me personally). Music is cute and never gets annoying; it may be royalty-free, but it was chosen with clear care. 

This game, in my opinion, is genuinely funny without coming across as insincere, and I don’t feel inclined to agree with those who tend to say its ‘uwu humor’ did not age well, because I personally laughed at most of it (the Zero Escape reference got me, man)! And even if I hadn’t, it would still, ironically, fit well with the overall message (which is that growing up and learning new things about yourself is good, and it’s fine not to know what you’re doing for a while, as long as you stay true to yourself and your friends)!

Some of the impact was lost on me due to the focus on America as a setting/baseball, but it's fine, since this focus was chosen with intent. Ultimately, the game carries the same message and does similar things to Night in the Woods, except successfully, without having to rely on random gameplay changes or ‘hip’ artstyle.

Evan’s Remains (PC, 2020) [♪ Whales]

The best thing about this game is its pixel art – just detailed enough for you to appreciate it, but not excessively so. The backgrounds in particular are nothing short of stunning.

Unfortunately, nothing else in Evan’s Remains manages to match that standard. The music, for the most part, is just there, the puzzles, while creative, can be somewhat irritating and repetitive, and the story, while starting out decently, has an ending that might be worse than Celceta’s and ends up making about as much sense. I would recommend you to watch footage of this game, but only if you like pixel art. It won’t take long, I promise.

Platform fighters I tried to give the light of day to

Super Smash Bros. Brawl - fun for just messing around in classic modes like the SSE and Multi-Man Brawl. Really, you can't ask much more of it.

Rivals of Aether - the most polished one that isn't Smash by far, really pretty and fun in general, but a little small in scope. I owe its soundtrack my life (or more accurately, one track. It's legit amazing to study to...)

Brawlhalla - as usual, don't trust a free game to be good. That's all.

In general, the copycats simply fail to capture the charm and spirit of Smash Bros, and Brawl is as much of a casual's game as one would expect. :)

All the idle\incremental games that ate up my time this year (yes, I like these too much, I know)

Namely, these, ordered from best to worst:

Kittens Game (actually amazing for killing boredom. the flavor text is extremely cute and the resource management is quite advanced)

Cookie Clicker (the classic. I lost my garden due to mods, and so shall never speak of this wretched curse again)

Tap Wizard (ironically, the only one on the list I'm still playing - now side by side with the sequel. Though the praise I gave to Kittens is still deserved.)

Trimps

Grimoire

Liquids

Exponential Idle

Shoutout to r/incremental_games for enabling me to dive deeper into this toxic, awful, beautiful genre of timewasters :)

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (DS, 2007) [♪ Trial]

AKA ‘the one where Phoenix done fucked up’. First AA I played the Android version of, and it held up pretty well (certainly better than emulating DS via RetroArch)! The remastered graphics annoyed me less than expected, and the gorgeous OST (best in the series so far, unless you count Investigations, and overall a glow-up and joy to my ears [< Still true. I might be ready to shill AA6 music any day, but nothing can top the excellency of AJ music even now.]) has remained intact.

I don't think this game ever reaches the highs that AA3 did, but it is certainly not for a lack of trying. I can understand the sentiment behind 'being done with Phoenix', for sure, and him still being here proves to be a sign for the beginning turmoil of the series and the struggles that Takumi is only now beginning to see the end of with GAA.

I didn’t find myself exactly attached to any of the main characters (okay, maybe Klavier awakened something or other in me, who can say [so valid, but girl... your personal prosecution turmoil is far from over]), but that has been the case for basically the entire main series as well, so that’s not surprising to me personally.

4-1 was more fun than I expected it to be based on popular opinion, and I got a good chuckle out of the ‘’’Russian’’’ waitress and the mental image of hobo!Phoenix eating borsch, but it’s still no 3-1. 4-2 and 4-3 especially were less than impressive, and overall the game got steadily worse over time.

I still appreciated it for trying to pave a new road for the series, for, again, having a fantastic soundtrack, and for making Phoenix into a lovable utter failure (should have stayed that way, his days were indeed over), but… AJ is not the best Ace Attorney by a long shot. 4-4 was pretty damn good though, and I loved how the jurist system was integrated in both story and gameplay, even if the threat it tried to present fell way short. Also, Vera Misham is the cutest girl we’ve ever had to defend.

PS. Klapollo have bigger gay energy than Wrightworth do, fight me. 2022 me here to report that I no longer want to fight anyone, because in the end it turned out I'm the loser who got somewhat into Blackmadhi. And also I now think the two ships in question are about equally good.

Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS, 2012) [♪ Chaos]

I actually had barely played the game throughout either year, but it still deserves this spot.

A game that aged better than expected. Really fun to play on an actual big screen (and with savestates – the Mila's Turnwheel of yore). Music is still godlike after all these years. Still haven't gotten far enough to marry Chrom, but I was almost there, I swear!! (If you think I care a lot about much else after so many years, you're a fool.)

I don’t have much more to say because a passion for this game has burned within me for years now, and playing it now just matches every expectation of it I used to have. It’s very dear to me, and it’s very good, and that’s good enough.

The actual 2021 list

Rhythm Tengoku (GBA, 2006) [♪ Iai Slash] + Rhythm Heaven Fever (Wii, 2011) [♪ See-Saw]

Rhythm Heaven is a very special, fun and wonderful little series, and I'm happy to say that spending more time with it was the first thing I thought of when I got my new PC.

I played through both Tengoku and Fever this year, but I believe the former is more remarkable because... It's my first time! And the game is honestly a little brutal compared to Fever (thank god for savestates), but it looks somewhat impressive for the GBA, and the music is fabulous, and it's just so exciting to properly see the origins of the best rhythm game series ever. If the ranking system was just a tad less strict, I would have loved to get to know it fully.

However, keep in mind this is the game that has Quiz and an endless game as original as Mr. Upbeat. You can’t have your cake and eat it?..

Anyway, Fever I actually managed to complete without much issues (Working Dough 2 aside. My god, that game can go fuck itself.), which was another longtime dream of mine! Yay!! In my opinion, Fever hits the perfect sweetspot between being so strict you can’t pass a remix and being so forgiving that you don’t feel accomplished unless you get a Perfect (looking at you, Megamix). The games are well-varied as well, although overall they rely too much on holding A+B together… I suppose that is better than motion controls, though!

More about the games themselves: most of them are solid. If you haven’t gleaned this from the first paragraph already, I think See-Saw is actually a classic. My favorite remix has always been the fourth one (kinda obvious if you bother scrolling through the wall of shitposts on my ‘about’ page), and I have a soft spot for all games on that set, too. Love Rap, while not outstanding, actually gave me a lot less trouble than anticipated (following cues out loud helps), and you just can’t have Karate Man beat!

Even some of the more obscure games, like the two-player Pirate Crew (which I played on my own, while emulating two controllers. It’s fun that way, but quite tough!), are well-made and fun! I’m so glad that even… roughly four years later for me, the game managed to deliver.

Trials of Mana / Seiken Densetsu 3 (PC, 2020 / SNES, 1995) [♪ Meridian Child]

Ah yes, the second-to-last good Mana game with a soundtrack that at times outshines Chrono Trigger! (only at times, though.)

Disclaimer: I have only played the remake, and I only did it once (Riesz\Kevin\Angela was my party). However, I watched two playthroughs that covered the other routes, and one of them was of the SNES version of Trials. Yeah, that took a lot of time!..

(Surprisingly enough, that was all past me had left me with. This is where the list in general shows how it ended up unfinished in time! Time to wrestle with my own memories!)

Here's the thing: for the mid-90s, this game is impressive as all hell. And as someone who has considered herself a casual fan of the series for a few years now (Secret being one of the few games I had a good time with on the SNES Classic, and Legend leaving me with a warmth of fondness in my heart), I was unusually, but unsurprisingly, excited to see this allegedly wonderful work come to us in its full splendor. The favorable reviews of the remake when compared against the sheer mediocrity that was their first attempt with Secret didn't help when it came to quelling my hype either.

And then I booted the game and was greeted eagerly with the wonder of a song that is Meridian Child. You bet I looked forward to it!

In the end, though... even the best Mana games just aren't enough to compete with most RPGs of the modern day, or even some contemporary ones. That's not to say I didn't have fun, but you can't deny how basic this game's story, structure and gameplay feel in the 2020s.

I wasn't disappointed with my choice of characters (they made a very cohesive and satisfying team together, based on almost all-out offense), but I did feel like there wasn't much of anything done to make them feel like a well-thought out party narratively. I mean, the team in Secret didn't have that much reason to get together either, but considering how much the game and its fans tout how 'interconnected' the stories are... I think I have a right to feel let down. The gameplay system itself is pretty bare-bones, too - it doesn't feel all that different from the predecessor (I mean, yes, you no longer have to wait to strike at full power, but does that count as an actual change?), and playing it in 3D made me realize how much the charm of the excellent 2D sprites had carried the series all along.

The character designs are... very 90s, for all the good and bad that entails. Angela in particular deserves the small degrees of infamy she got upon the game's release. However, in a complete vacuum, they're quite pleasant (Riesz especially - doubly so in the Star Lancer class she ended up with on my playthrough.), and the way they change together with the classes (the whole idea of a class change in a game that's not strictly about classes like Fire Emblem is great!) is spectacular.

The music is absolutely wonderful, and unlike Secret, the remade versions don't ruin the SFC sound's charm either. Trials was one of the few remakes where I actively made use of the soundtrack version switch! It's still hard to pick a single favorite, even when my excitement about this game has long since quietened. Walls and Steels, Powell, the cheekily-named Secret of Mana (ignore the video title, lol - SE seems to have gotten greedy with copyright strikes in the years since I started this list) and Damn Damn Drum are just a few pieces I have enjoyed for years - both the original and the remade versions.

The logical conclusion here is that in this day and age, this game is nothing more than eye candy, accompanied with Kikuta's finest work. But hey, sometimes that's just what you need, and I enjoyed what it had to offer!

Wandersong (PC, 2018) [♪ Sailing with the Coffee Pirates]

The one thing Wandersong became particularly well-known for is its… energy, in my opinion. On their own, the colorful visuals, charming writing and welcoming music wouldn't amount to nearly as much as they do when they all come together. Fitting for a game whose message is all about the whole world coming together to accomplish what no one could on their own, huh?

This, believe it or not, is the solution to basically every problem - big or small - that plagues the world of Wandersong. Good thing singing is basically all our adorable protagonist* can do! You'll never guess what they end up doing for the world they live in, either!! (save it. they save it.) ...but what matters is that they don't do it alone. (and that they're not the eternally cheerful bundle of energy they always seem to be.)

*I lovingly named them Bong as soon as I saw the opportunity to do so, but I know their actual name is supposed to be Kiwi. I doubt I'll address the character themselves much while writing, but if I do, I'll probably end up calling them the Bard anyway, for simplicity. 'Bong' was funny while it lasted, though!

Call it cheesy, call it overdone - it doesn't change the excellent execution of the ideas brought to the table. Playing this game is like looking back at your younger self who believed in fairytales, and telling them 'no, it's not always like those stories, even if sometimes it seems that it will be. But what you can do is be yourself, and like-minded people will flock to you. And others will have something to learn from your example!'.

Also, you can dab and play Megalovania (if you know how to) in this game. 10/10 meme potential. ...I'm honestly struggling to put my impressions in words - it really is just a warm cup of coffee brewed the right way. It can barely be described any better than a warm way of sunshine. My rambling doesn't do justice to how adorable it was.

Va-11 Hall-A + KIDS! (PC, 2016 + 2018) [♪ Base of the Titans + Her Noise]

Screw it, I don't care what this inclusion says about me. I recognize this has similar pitfalls to the previously shat on Night in the Woods (Jill is barely any better of a protagonist than Mae, only more grounded; the amount of stupid and/or immature jokes is similar, if not worse; the Julianne minigame is super dumb), but listen! I just heard of a visual novel that was inspired by PC-98 graphics and immediately drooled and had to find out more.

The pixel art is indeed immaculate, if not too varied. The music is really good. Might not be something to listen to much outside of the game, but while you play, it ENHANCES the experience ♥ [this is so funny to read to me, considering I Still consider this to be a phenomenal score and have come to enjoy it a ton in 2022, even finding it genuinely inspiring at times. Don't listen to past me, this game is full of bangers.] Not to mention how diverse it can be sometimes — i.e. the track above vs. Snowfall vs. Showtime! [my personal current favorite] That, combined with how you're in charge of what you're hearing most of the time, makes for a very chill experience that manages to reflect what you're feeling impressively well.

The idea of the story changing depending on the drinks you mix is interesting in theory, but the way it plays out in practice is just a lot of basic win/fail branching that doesn't ever seem to change more than a few lines most of the time. The script is actually quite robust when you look deep into it, but it's hard to witness while you actually play. This game could benefit from a flowchart to encourage players to explore. (However, Alma acknowledging you're trying to cheer her up with her favorite drink despite her ordering something entirely different – that's good! I want more of that!)

Other things ruining the drink system are:

the fact that the recipes are easily accessible, so unless Jill gets distracted and/or the order is obscure, it's impossible to screw it up or experiment;

it's all revealed at once, which makes gameplay more repetitive than it had to be;

you need a LOT of money, especially if you're buying as much furniture as I did, which further discourages you from experimenting on your first playthrough

A lot of the jokes are (im)mature, hit or miss, and reliant on recent internet culture. There's too many dogs and they're not even funny, either. This is not going to age well, but the game still made me chuckle reliably, dang it!

The world gets a surprising amount of development thanks to Jill's phone apps and exposure to all manner of clients. It's really a shame you don't get to see any of it aside from her bar and room! And despite what I said earlier, it's hard not to get invested in Jill's struggles to live and make peace with herself.

This is far from a masterpiece, but to me it's clear that it's not what it wanted to be – you can feel the developers striving for more, which is a good thing. It makes for a great time with a chilled beverage of your choice and it looks great, I couldn't ask for more!

KIDS! is a fabulous spinoff that is way too good for an April Fool's joke! The art is inspired and cute, the music is just as good as the original and even better at times, and the decrease in mature jokes is honestly refreshing.

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana (PC, 2018) [♪ Royal Capital Aigius]

I'm soooo conflicted on this one.

The character/flashbacks artwork is really amazing and I loved it all immediately... but I really can't say the same about the game's actual graphics. They're serviceable, but I wish there were more chances to show off the gorgeous artwork!

Dana might be the best character in the whole series and I fucking love her, but the way she exists in the same game as Sahad is a travesty. Dogi needed to switch places with him and be playable.

Exploring the island is pretty fun for the most part. The way everything's marked on the map makes it rot a little, for sure, but I won't refuse a nice distracting checklist! After all, I play Trails! Unfortunately, the locations don't vary, like, at all (aside from Eternia, which was great), so if you binge this game, you're guaranteed to get sick of greenery and dinosaurs :(

Some of the music is as good as you would expect from an early 10s Falcom game (everything to do with Dana/Eternia, Alone on the Deserted Island, Gens d'Armes, etc). Key word is 'some'. Despite what I just said, I think Iclucian Dance is uh... Flawed. And all music for raids/hunts can die in a fire. In addition, aside from these clearly bad tracks, I have bias against the kind of music Ys uses in general, so in total my OST impression is one big fat 'meh!'.

I like the general idea of abandoned island/castaways, getting them back together and having to figure out what's going on before stumbling onto Dana... Why did this get diluted with thematic clashes ghost pirate ships and silly assassins?

Getting the castaways might be fun, but their actual personalities are unimpressive. I don't want to blow this flaw out of proportion - this is Ys, after all, and it's about as good as I would expect for Ys, but still. The feeling of the whole village bonding is greater than the impressions from its individual residents. Not to mention, it devolved into yet another save the world plot near the end, when I would've preferred something that focused on Dana more than it already did.

Moving on to gameplay... wow, an Ys game that has a party instead of a single playable character works? Kinda. The bare minimum is done to distinguish between characters, and the Flash system trivializes most differences anyway. In the end, only Adol and Dana are actually fun to use. Unless you count spamming the same skill over and over.

Sanctuary Crypt was a very fun optional dungeon with the best boss to boot. Block puzzles soured my impression, though. Meanwhile, most of the other levels are nothing to write home about, if not outright terrible.

And since I have nowhere else to put this: raids/hunts as a whole are unnecessary, grind the slow pace of the game to a halt and are not fun. Also, giving Adol binary and meaningless dialogue options won't make him a nicer character, the outside narrator explaining his thoughts in the older games was better.

Cosmic Star Heroine (PC, 2017) [♪ A Conspiracy]

What do we have here? A very unique battle system that is greatly enjoyable, but really, only in short bursts (a huge part of why I almost burnt out on the game was playing it on Hard / Heroine – made it drag). What makes it stand out is how it elegantly limits your abilities - you can only use each of your equipped moves once, before you have to recharge them by defending. It's a refreshing take, to be sure, but when you play the game for hours on end, it turns into something that feels more like padding than actual mechanic.

There's also a unique soundtrack, which should not really be a surprise, given the composer, but still, you just don't hear stuff like A Firebrand, An Agitator in your everyday RPG! It can feel a little off and cringe-inducing sometimes, but it's honestly just very awesome overall.

The pixel art in this game can be hit or miss, but luckily, it never missed in its most important moments, and character portraits did not fail to please.

That's about where CSH's strengths come to an end, however. When it comes to personalities, everyone is pretty dry and feels like cardboard, but it felt fair to me, since I knew what I was jumping into. And the gorgeous presentation, battle system and decent jokes all outweighed the forgettable plot!!! It was a good time ♥

Pyre (PC, 2017) [♪ Surviving Exile]

Near flawless given what it sets out to do, discounting the slower pacing near the second half. For a pitch as uniquely strange as 'visual novel where you have to play a game of sports-lite about a dozen times', Pyre manages to be incredibly compelling and welcoming to nigh everyone that approaches it, thanks to having what can be graciously called an open-ended story that is, in a way, completely independent from the 'sports'-like parts of the game (you can lose every match and still reach the end), and yet, in a lot of other ways, bound together (hehe) with it so intricately that it might as well count as a gameplay\story integration masterclass. The fates of characters you love riding on your shoulders and the performance you're willing to deliver is a simple, but elegant way to set up the narrative.

And the gameplay itself is... well... it's everything you could want it to be within reason, I guess. On the surface, it's not particularly complicated - you control three characters one at a time to score goals while preventing the AI from doing the same - but the amount of choices given (and supported by the narrative) when it comes to composing your team and letting it grow is surprisingly high. In addition, one of the defining features of Supergiant's games is the freedom they give you when it comes to difficulty, and Pyre is no stranger to this. There's the previously mentioned freely available option to lose, but if that's not enough, Pyre has an always accessible difficulty toggle and the (by this point expected) extra difficulty modifiers.

Of course, one of the biggest reasons Pyre saw success in the first place was its ingenious presentation - it's pretty without being overwhelming with details or feeling pretentious, the character designs stand out on their own while also conveying a much needed feeling of unity... and the soundtrack is one of the best I've heard in a game, period, managing to tie plenty of rather diverse styles, from the gentle vocals used in something like Mourning Song to the appropriately abrupt metal track that is Thrash Pack, together neatly, without clashing or betraying the game's intentions.

And that's without going into how dynamic everything sounds - there's the obvious changes, like the theme song of the Liberation Rites and the (wonderful) ending song changing lyrics depending on who you faced and\or what the outcome was, and the more subtle ones, like Surviving Exile (and most other tracks) having different layers to them that show themselves appropriately, with that track in particular doing a splendid job of both setting the game's overall mood and, well, setting, as well as providing a thematic foundation for three of the game's more important characters.

That's not to say they're given more time than the rest or anything like that - all characters, at least the ones that band together for your cause, are well-written given the short runtime (I always looked forward to talking with the kind and resolute Hedwyn in particular :) ), and even those that face off against you carry just enough intrigue to be interesting and have their own place in this strange little world. Therefore, Pyre excels at selling you the found family narrative, if you're willing to stick to it, not in the least because your role as the Reader in particular is handled so well.

You're basically half of the reason these beings of different walks and ways of life could have banded together instead of resigning themselves to their fate in the first place, they owe a lot to you in that sense, and yet, they make it a point to make sure you stand as an equal among them. They're willing to stand up for you just as much as you are for them, though some might need a little convincing first. It all makes for lovely interactions that enhance the cast and the world around them, while still making your place in it feel unique. Never have I felt so good about being literate, which is a plot point that ends up enhancing the worldbuilding in rather impressive ways - helping you feel closer ties with everything that's happening, since obviously you can read, and making the world around you take shape and feel more real thanks to the Book of Rites. (And of course, the small detail of being able to choose the Reader's pronouns and that change being reflected everywhere, including the music, is just about the cherry on top - I like it because you can use it both to increase immersion and to distance yourself from the narrative as much as you want.)

So yeah! A refreshing experience that never quite falters from start to finish, with a powerful and positive message to deliver... it would have been the game of the year... were I not a Trails fan...

Katana ZERO (PC, 2019) [♪ Katana ZERO]

Yes, I did pick that track to do the 'Fullmetal Alchemist. Fullmetal Alchemist.' thing. But it's also genuinely really good! Although my big faves are Sneaky Driver, Full Confession and Overdose. The soundtrack in general, while hit or miss sometimes, overall has an incredible sound that would resonate very well with younger me, methinks. The heavy reliance on bass and repetition is exactly what I'm here for, and it's a flawless fit for a game that has you spend a lot of time perfecting the execution of each of its challenges – it draws you into the setting and the mood without having an overwhelming presence. I also love the little detail of Zero actually turning it on every level – I admit, it got me pretty pumped across the whole game.

The aesthetic/presentation is top notch, I enjoyed every second of it. Zero's movement looks and feels very fluid, the overall color scheme is just my absolute favorite, and the way it all reminded me somewhat of the glory days of vaporwave was great too. Not to mention that in general, 2D art in games is my jam... I was SOLD!

The gameplay is far from my comfort zone, but I ended up enjoying it more than expected (it almost gave me the worst case of hand cramps I've ever had, that's how addictive it is, lmao). It's a huge shame that I can't think of any other similar games off the top of my head that I would truly get interested in, without having to wrestle with heavy-themed plots or anything similar (because let's face it, this was one of the few games where I didn't bother with engaging with the story. I was here for the spectacle, and boy, on that level it delivered.).

I loved the general cycle of 'start the level, die immediately, start actually plotting a strategy, die as soon as that strat fails you, develop a fully functional plan, spend some more time executing it... wait, I did it! And didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time! PHEW, time to watch the tape!'. The last level in particular had me feeling like I was pulling off pure miracles just with my guts and reaction, and it's a fantastic feeling! ...and then I watched the speedruns of the game, which show perfectly how tight the execution in this game has to be, and lost my mind, it's crazy.

The dialogue system in KZ, while undercooked, is intriguing nonetheless, and some of the optional dialogue can be pretty funny. (Pinkachu, anyone?) In addition, I found it ridiculously hilarious to see СУКАБЛЯТЬ multiple times across this otherwise clearly-not-supposed-to-be-russian-at-all game.

And, despite just saying that I did not care for the overarching story, I have to admit, I was drawn in by the sheer mysterious, yet human-like, presence of Zero as the protagonist. This is a game that's not afraid to be itself, and, for better or worse, it had all the right elements to undeniably suck me in. Playing it even a year later is a feeling so specific and good that I'm stuck yearning for more of it. Maybe one day it'll come in the form of DLC?

OneShot (PC, 2016) [♪ On Little Cat Feet]

This game genuinely was a touching little experience (and you know me, I love me some toying with the fourth wall), complete with adorable pixel art and one of the sweetest protagonists known to RPGs. I know usually people tend to rave about this game (and rightfully so, most of the hubbub is deserved), but personally I'm like 'yeah! I played it! It was fantastic!', and I don't really want to preach to the choir beyond that. I do want to point out that this will probably remain one of my favorite 'meta' gaming experiences, though - this game does not try too hard to appeal to the player (and therefore, it never feels like the narrative is falling flat on its face), and the simple story hook of a lost child like Niko trying to find their way with your help is lovely and effective at keeping you invested. It's just... nice, okay? Sometimes it's enough for a game to be nice.

The Legend of Heroes: Trails to Azure (PC, 2011, tr. 2021) [♪ Heavenly Chariot]

There are a couple of points to make about this game:

1. The music in Azure is beyond incredible, and showing off but a single track would be an unforgivable crime. At the same time, it's very easy to just point to the entire damn OST as an example of RPG music excellency. I guess they were not kidding when they said Falcom peaked music-wise right around the time this game came out!! When I talked about Zero, I mentioned that, despite how much I liked that soundtrack, I felt like it lacked consistency to a certain degree, which had hurt it, in my opinion. Azure, looking back, managed to strike the balance between having distinct memorable tracks and staying cohesive as a game soundtrack, which is what, deep down, I was looking for in Zero the year before. I remember laughing to myself about how different my opinions on Trails music tend to be from what seems to be the norm established in the fandom, but playing through Azure was the first time I found myself agreeing with 'the masses'. It's impossible not to adore this soundtrack.

2. The main reason this will never be the greatest of Trails to me is that I believe Azure marks the point in the series where the time put into the game (as a completionist who fishes for everything each Kiseki has to offer) starts to become disproportionate to what you actually get out of it.

To explain: while the main storyline is as well-written and exciting (though in a different way from Sky or even Zero - this game is famous for pulling out all the stops, and starting with a bang while finishing with a series of even bigger bangs) as always, this very likely came at the cost of the usually outstanding dialogue of the NPCs. Each time you go on your routine laps around the region, in any way you can, 90% of the time you will only see characters say one-liners about the current situation. That you just witnessed during the main quest from the perfect viewpoint. With your own eyes. It gets, uh... annoying?

And in addition to that, Azure is crazy about locking DP behind random things. Some of them are easy to figure out, naturally, but you will not be reaching first (or even second) rank without guides. And the biggest reason for this is the combination of ridiculously well-hidden quests and unwinnable battles that give you 5 DP in exchange for burning out on your item stash!! >:( You can be smug about this point, given that this is part of what the whole series is known for, but attaining max DP rank here is definitely more of a challenge than even in its prequel.

If that wasn't enough, there are eleven characters Lloyd can get bonding events with, drastically up from Zero's three for like no reason? Which is clearly designed to entice you into doing multiple playthroughs of a 100+ hours long game! I am not against getting more of beloved protagonists, but this is a very bad way to go about it. [laughs in CS1]

The gameplay here is also something I came to appreciate more a year later, after getting to know CS1. As the saying goes, you don't know what you have till it's gone, and this applies perfectly to the changes made to the battle system, particularly Orbments, over the years. When I played Azure, I didn't think too favorably of the addition of Master Quartz, but it ultimately made for an excellent fit, further emphasizing the combat roles the characters are made to fill while giving you an improved sense of progression with the MQ being able to level up.

All this, combined with the fact that I had been stubborn enough to use Hard instead of Normal (lose-lose deal – on Normal regular encounters wouldn't be as fun, on Hard I get my ass kicked by ultra-strong bosses harder. Retry Offset, I miss you...)... Yeah, that is why I almost broke the game with debug mode during the finale (that boss fight was over-reliant on Burst, I swear), and I have no regrets :p

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch, 2018) [♪ Main Theme ~ Piano]

This GIF is actually an accurate summary of how my time with this game went.

I feel like, despite past me claiming that Azure was rightfully the spotlight of her year, the true game of 2021 was this all along. Partially because '21 was the only year when I could enjoy it to the fullest. I don't really want to talk about it much, which is funny when I try to look back at the huge rant I had half-prepared about my love-hate relationship with this game (bring back shielddropping! and good singleplayer! and give us good online!), rife with comparisons to Smash 4 and small things only true nerds semi-competitive players care about, but now it all just reminds me of the Smash Ball-shaped hole I have in my soul.

Maybe in another world, I'll be able to enjoy Smash again. For now, I have to thank Ultimate for making 2021 feel like something I earned. For the greatest soundtrack a game ever could have. And of course, for the Palutena buffs. I still remember when I thought she would never appear again, much less be empowered like she was. 💚

In conclusion, this is a game that can be painful to love, but love persists nonetheless, because there is nothing like Smash Ultimate in the world. ❤ - 2021 me, who was right

[my-soul-sings]

Going to a haunted house with Artem

A/N: I’m too lazy to write a full fic today so here is a random headcanon thing I thought of in the spirit of Halloween (even though it’s already 1 Nov here for me lol) :)

Going to a haunted house with Artem:

Artem isn’t scared at all, much unlike the squeamish people all around him in the queue. Haunted houses merely consist of props, elaborately painted faces and well-timed jumpscares at every corner turn. He knows for a fact that there’s nothing supernatural about the affair, which is why he’s never been much fun at haunted houses; he usually leaves feeling bad for the actors who did their best but failed to scare him. 

Still, he immediately caved the moment she invited him to accompany her to the latest and most popular haunted house attraction at the Stellis theme park. Apparently, she had won a pair of tickets from a lucky draw and he had been her first pick for her invitee. Of course, he jumped at the chance, lest she invited some other guy along with her. 

On the night in question, Artem can feel her increasing nervousness the closer they get to the front of the queue. He takes her clammy hand in his and gives her a reassuring smile. “It’ll be fine. I’m here.” 

His words don’t help that much, but they coax an uncertain smile from her. She’ll be fine. He’ll probably be enough of a killjoy that the actors won’t be motivated to put on their scariest performance.

“The reviews said this haunted house is pretty scary. I heard a lot of people peed themselves. Someone even fainted in there,” she tells him, before startling slightly at the sound of a shrill, distant scream. 

“They could have been exaggerating. You know, for publicity.” 

“True, but—”

“Good evening!” A staff member interrupts her mid-sentence. “The two of you are up next. Just follow the signs and head on in. Have fun!” The staff member then happily escorts them towards the entrance of the haunted house attraction. 

A dismembered and bloodied mannequin guards the wooden door, and he feels her grip on his hand tighten. Artem has a bad feeling that there will be no blood supply to his hand for the entire duration of their journey. 

The journey through actually isn’t all that bad. Artem gets why the attraction has so many good reviews; the ominous music, elaborately designed rooms and hidden places for the actors to deliver their well-timed scares all make for a very good, haunting experience. 

Unfortunately, he can’t really say the same for her, or for his hand that has probably lost feeling about five minutes ago. His ear is also ringing from the number of times she inadvertently screamed right into it.

On the bright side, he’s learning a lot about her today.

For one, she’s very easily scared. The actors have figured this out probably just from a glance at their faces, so it seems most of their “attacks” have been trained on her rather than him, despite Artem doing his best to shield her from them. At this rate, she’s going to end up in tears. 

For two, she has a surprising amount of expletives in her vocabulary that he’s never heard until today. He can already tell that she’ll be apologising profusely for it later, but he doesn’t mind it all that much. Besides, he did say “fuck” once when one of the actors swung a loud chainsaw at him. That one had taken him by surprise. 

By the time they’re out of the haunted house, he can tell that she’s drained and completely shaken up. Her cheeks are streaked with dried tears and it’s clear she’ll need a while to regain her bearings after enduring that much in just... fifteen minutes? It definitely felt longer than that. 

To top it off, there was a final scare waiting for them just outside of the exit, and she had almost fallen to the floor from the shock. It was a good thing Artem grabbed her before she could land squarely on her bum.

“That was embarrassing. Sorry you had to see all that...” she tells him once they’re a good distance away from the haunted house. “Is your hand okay? I might have grabbed it too hard earlier.” 

“It’s fine.” It’s a lie, but she doesn’t need to know that. To prove his point, he takes her hand in his once more, leading her in the direction of the ice cream truck parked a short distance away. “How about some ice cream? My treat.” He remembers reading somewhere that ice cream is a popular comfort food, and his hunch was right; very soon she’s back to her normal, cheerful self and they decide to explore other less frightful attractions in the theme park together. 

Conveniently, their hands remain joined for the rest of that night. 

[koishua]

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 ?

𝐩: zhong chenle. 𝐠: fluff, slice of life. 𝐚𝐮: established relationship, gamers. 𝐜𝐰: just a decent amount of cussing because someone got scared smh.

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: staying over at his house for the night, you take it as an opportunity to introduce him to your favourite game during your childhood.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @luvholicz @rutosruru-world @daystiny @imdamconfused @envirae @renjunvrse @iuwon @fairyjunn @junityy @igyus @yunntext @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @beomgyuv @99swinwin @99outros @jakeycore @mark-lees-world @strwberrydinosaur @ahsshilee-me @jitaros @sunshine-skz @yutaalove @jiminisyourangel @tyongishs (click here to be added to my taglist)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐯𝐢𝐞: i have been binging on markiplier's series again for a sense of old time's comfort and whipped this baby up in a few minutes for funsies hahahaha also this is queued from my "in need of clearing my drafts filled with 53 drabbles" list good riddance #1 💀

“so, i just gotta flash it?” you nod, pursing your lips to a straight line to keep your laugh to yourself, anticipating the incoming show. playing five nights at freddy’s was never not the most hilarious time you had spent your childhood with. how chenle had never played it, you don’t know.

“okay then, i got this.” he shifts in his seat, getting comfortable for the night you had decided to sleep over at his house to introduce him to new games, not that this was a new new game. “are you sure? the second night is pretty stressful for me to give you only so much tips.”

he nods, putting on his headphones for the full game experience, though leaving just a bit of space on one ear to continue listening to you. he hears the signature phone ringing, the phone guy’s voice entering his ears, “who’s he?”

not receiving any answers from you, chenle huffs, “okay then,so he isn’t the best guy in town. i mean, why the hell would anyone have any reason to put up with these toys every night with this little amount of pay?” 

for once, it is not you who is sitting in front of the screen to deal with all of the anxiety and you feel ecstatic at the prospect of getting your boyfriend to lose his fnaf-virginity with his first jumpscare.

“make sure to keep rewinding the music box to keep it at bay, by the way.” you subtly hint at the demonic puppet that had led you to actually shit your pants just a tiny bit the first time it had jumped on you. “okay, so why make me play this version first?”

“well,” you start pondering about it, “i just think chica is way more terrifying here than in the first game. i mean, have you seen her pitch black eyes?” he shakes his head, “nope. when does she usually come?”

you glance at his large desktop screen while he checks the different cameras, gulping when he sees bonnie right before the security camera, staring deep into his soul. you can hear footsteps in the vent and suck in a breath, “about that…”

“just,” you put a hand over your mouth to keep your evil villain-ish smile hidden from him, “keep playing with the flashes on the vents, lele.” 

keep concentrating on bonnie and you’ll see where she is, you think to yourself.

“you were sayi-” a second before he finishes his question, the black, soulless yellow chicken springs in his face, “HOLY FUCKIN SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT DEMON I SWEAR TO FUCKING GO-”

and cue your maniacal and hysterical cackle.

[ao3bronte]

🌈🎵ADRINO HEADCANONS🌈🐱

Adrien and Nino spend the summer between collège and lycée playing video games as often as their busy schedules allow. Adrien feels like he has a modelling gig every other minute and rejoices everytime he gets home so he can sit in front of his screen with his headset on. Nino, on the other hand, has been running food deliveries for his uncle’s restaurant during the afternoon rush for extra pocket money. Nino’s mom is adamant that he doesn’t do any deliveries at night — between the protests and the mounting violence against “others”, the Lahiffe’s would rather be safe than sorry.

Adrien loves Resident Evil Village and Nino likes to tease him about simping on the giant vampire lady because of course he would simp on Lady Dimitrescu. Nino hates jumpscare games personally and prefers playing Halo but hey, they compromise. They’re both super excited for Horizon Forbidden West and freak out over the game play when they see the trailer for it on Reddit.

Nino follows a few Twitch streamers but Adrien must follow hundreds, if not thousands. Nino doesn’t get it but the boy needs to compartmentalize his insane life somehow and Nino doesn’t mind. As long as they have the time to play together, he’ll be happy.

“I wish I could play beside you.” Adrien seems to say this every time they’re on voice chat and Nino expresses the same thing. He misses sitting beside his best bro, especially now that they won’t always be in the same classes in lycée. The dread in his chest at the thought makes him wonder, but he quickly brushes it off as karma for eating the Casablanca platter that the weird lady in the Marais refused to come down and get from the lobby.

Alya is the first one to notice that something’s up with Nino. He talks about Adrien more than usual, which should have been her first clue. She’s a little jealous initially, hating that his gaze seems to be drawn in a direction different from her, but she comes to terms with it after a week or two. Nino is having a bi awakening and that’s okay! Alya’s been there, done that, got the pride t-shirt. But will Nino act on it? Will he just ignore it or mistake his bi feelings for something else entirely until he explodes? Now, that’s the question.

Nino has always been casually affectionate. A hug here, an arm draped over a shoulder there. He’s like this with everyone, but more so with Adrien and Alya than anyone else. It’s no secret how much Adrien loves the extra attention and actively seeks it out, thanking Nino politely for each and every little bit of closeness Nino sends his way.

One fateful Friday evening, the boys manage to sneak Adrien out of his cage and they all congregate at a pool for Kim’s birthday party. Adrien is elated and wrestles with Nino in the water, climbing up onto his shoulders to fight Alex and Kim. Nino feels that rush again, the one that steals the breath from his lungs and pointedly reminds him that his best bro’s unmentionables are smushed against the back of his head.

Needless to say, they lose the battle miserably.

But boy oh boy, Nino’s not ready to lose the war.

“You’re having a bi awakening.” Alya swims up beside him, having watched the entire exchange with a bemused quirk of her lips. “And that’s okay.”

Nino nearly chokes. “What?!”

“You’ve got feelings for Sunshine and Rainbows, I get it.” Alya pats him on his shoulder and presses a kiss to his cheek. “I’m not mad. I’m actually kind of happy for you?”

Nino splutters for a hot minute, his cheeks as red as the vibrant colour of Alya’s suit. “I don’t—I mean—”

“Look, if the time is right and he’s into it, you have my permission to kiss him. We’re young.” Alya shrugs her shoulders and smiles encouragingly. “And if it’s something you want to pursue, then we can talk about it after, okay?”

Alya swims away and six thousand thoughts course through Nino’s brain at the speed of lightning. Was Alya giving him permission to cheat? No, Alya was giving him the room to feel without guilt and after a solid five minutes of hyperventilating and dunking his head underwater to keep from spontaneously combusting entirely, Nino goes and gives Alya the kiss of a lifetime.

“Thank you,” he whispers, to which Alya responds with a quick peck to the cheek.

“You do you, Turtle Boy.” She grins as he throws his head back and laughs, reminding everyone around them of how glorious he sounds when his soul is set alight. “You’ll always be number one in my heart. And hey, let’s agree that if you get to kiss Sunshine, then I totally get to kiss Ladybug.”

“Deal.” He wraps his arms around her waist and whips her about, creating a whirlpool around them. “Adrien! Come and save me! Alya is trying to kill me!”

As if on cue, Adrien swan dives into the water and snags his number one bro in a piggy back hold. “Your gallant hero is here to save you from her siren’s call!”

Alya shares a knowing glance with Nino and disappears beneath the water, swimming away towards Marinette and Myléne. Whatever happened between them is entirely in Nino’s hands now.

[PART 2]

See all of my LGBTQ+ headcanons HERE!

[jenomark]

OCTOBER

➔Pairing: Doyoung x Reader (Female) | Jaehyun x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Plot (ft. smut, romance, angst, fluff etc.) ➔Warnings: Drinking ➔Word count: 5,300

➔Summary: You are dating handsome and lovable Jaehyun. You stay at his apartment all of the time, along with his roommate Doyoung. Doyoung has feelings for you, which he doesn’t quite understand. What begins as an innocent crush changes the lives of all three people over the course of seven months.

AUGUST SEPTEMBER

October 30, The Night Before Halloween.

  Doyoung’s eyes followed the sparklers tearing across the backdrop of night. The colors hurt his eyes, but he couldn’t look away from them. His eyes went in and out of focus, fairy lights joining in his vision, vibrant yellows and whites softening around the edges the longer he looked. He was acutely aware of his own breathing, the volume turned all the way up, and the noise of the party cancelling out. All of those things swirled round’ and round’, until the beautiful purple butterfly popped up in front of him.

“What did you say?” he asked.

  At once, the swarm of the Halloween party returned. The music was so loud that it vibrated his teeth. He could hear a distant drama playing out between a girl and her girlfriend, their voices feeling like they were swimming around in his brain. He could no longer hear his breathing, let alone his own thoughts.

“I said, do you want a drink?” 

  You stood before him, a sparkler in one hand, and a cup of alcohol extended like an olive branch. Dressed up as a butterfly in a lilac colored leotard, complete with a gauzy tutu and butterfly wings clipped to your back, you placed his drink in front of him. His eyes swept over your emotionless face before looking up at the antenna headband on your head. Your hair was curled, a fresh short haircut making you appear cute. Not that Doyoung had noticed, of course.

“Thank you.” he said.

  Doyoung was alone at the table. Everyone else was socializing around the backyard, tucked underneath the fairy lights or hanging around the empty pool. He watched a few people hovering around the food, their fingers digging into a bowl of pretzels before airplane-ing them into a cheese dip shaped like a pumpkin. In the corner, a couple dressed up as ketchup and mustard were dancing together, the tips of their bottles touching every time they moved. The yard was big, and it seemed that no matter where Doyoung looked, people were living.

“Why don’t you come join us so you’re not lonely?” you asked. “Me and Jaehyun could use some company.”

  Other than the expansive yard, the house had people occupying it. Doyoung hadn’t been to many Halloween parties, but it was exactly as he had imagined it. There were spiked punch bowls with floating hands of ice, jumpscare decorations and costume contests. Everyone had dressed to impress. It was exactly the kind of scene he avoided throughout his youth.

 Meanwhile, the little butterfly, though as pretty as she was, was one of the more chill costumes of the night. Doyoung looked down at his own and felt a shudder move through his body that wasn’t because of the cold. He felt embarrassment creeping up his neck the longer he sat and thought about what he was dressed up as. He didn’t like the attention whenever he stood up and moved, the odd ends of his costume bumping into things.

“I like sitting here. I’m not lonely.” Doyoung said, which was a lie. He was freezing, hungry, and he just wanted to go home and sleep. “I’m sure you don’t mean that you want me around, since you spend so much time with me.”

  You sat down in the chair next to him and huffed. “Is it the costume? I told you that you didn’t have to dress up in it.”

“I wanted to.”

You looked at him, narrowing your eyes. “Why?”

  The original plan was that you were going to dress up as a butterfly. You had picked it out at the tail end of September, and Doyoung could see how excited you were about it. For a few weeks after, he caught you looking at the costume, pulling it out of Jaehyun’s closet and letting your fingers work over the delicate beading on the wings. At that time, Jaehyun wanted to do a couples costume, which had worked out perfectly because there was a matching part to your costume: a butterfly net.

“Well, I wasn’t going to let the butterfly go without her net.” he said, his eyes not able to match yours.

  The more Jaehyun thought about being the net to your butterfly, the more he was terrified of being mocked by his friends. He gave up the costume after buying it, deciding to be a sexy James Bond instead. You never showed Jaehyun that it hurt you, but Doyoung was so observant when it came to you that he couldn’t help but see. So, within a week of the party, Doyoung shoved his original costume back into his closet and lied that he didn’t have one. He put on the head-to-toe black leotard that kept no secrets about his body, and put the net and tubing around his upper half. He was your safety net, literally and figuratively.

  You smiled briefly before reaching over and taking a sip of Doyoung’s drink that you’d brought. Seeing your smile in any capacity made Doyoung sure that he’d made the right choice. He felt like a fool unable to move, but it was worth it.

“I’m in a couples costume without my boyfriend.” you said. “There is a joke in there somewhere. You can take it off, Doyoung. You don’t have to wear it for me. I’m pretty sure you’ve already reaped all the embarrassment readily available.”

 Doyoung couldn’t help but laugh. You handed him his cup back and he drank from it, his lips touching the cool liquid, and his eyes boring into yours from over the rim of the cup. He set it back down on the table, picked up the netting from his costume and let it fall back down into his lap.

“Is there a bathroom in this place?” he asked. “I have to go,  but I’m not even sure how to get out of this thing.”

“You might have to take it all off.”

  Doyoung could feel his momentary good mood slipping. He thought about excusing himself to go home and use his toilet. He thought about the moment he’d pass through his front door and rip the leotard to shreds, taking all of his anger out on the fabric. He was deep in his thoughts of destruction when you spoke.

“I can help you. C’mon.” you said.

  You got up, holding your butterfly wings securely to your body so they wouldn’t get caught in anything. Since you were also wearing a leotard, Doyoung could see every curve of your body. He looked at your bare legs, which must have been so cold standing outside for more than five minutes. Before you turned around and held out your hand, his eyes were watching your ass and how the tutu lifted up just a little bit to reveal it.

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re one net that won’t be catching this butterfly. Let’s go. I’ll help you take off this monstrosity before I go back to my boyfriend.”

  He took your hand, and you lifted him from his chair with little effort. It was really the bare minimum, but the thought of your strength turned Doyoung on. He shuffled forward, making sure his tubing didn’t catch on the end of someone's wig and pull it off. The last thing he needed was getting into a fight at a Halloween party dressed like an idiot. You kept hold of his hand, weaving your way through the yard, telling him whenever the grass was uneven so he didn’t trip. But when you saw Jaehyun, you dropped his hand.

“What is going on?” Jaehyun said, seeing your face. When he noticed that Doyoung was up and walking, he grinned. “Welcome to the party! You know, it’s really a shame that your girlfriend isn’t here, Do-ie. She would have giggled seeing you dressed up like that.”

“I’m taking him to the bathroom.” you said, getting on your tiptoes to peck Jaehyun on the cheek. “He needs help.”

“I’ll do it.” Jaehyun offered. 

“No,”you said. “It’s okay. I have to go, too.”

  You motioned for Doyoung to come along, but he didn’t see you. Jaehyun grabbed a little bit of net and shoved him forward, nearly making him trip up the steps. Once inside, you grabbed his hand again. To anyone who didn’t know either of you at the party-which was a lot- they would have thought you were the couple.

“It’s just upstairs.” you said, looking back at him.

  The party inside was more wild. People were jumping all around, bumping into him and getting in his face. Doyoung focused on his feet, on moving behind you to get to the bathroom. He felt a little bit like a child walking behind their mother, but one look at you erased that feeling. In your presence, he never felt more like a man in his entire life. When you went up the stairs, Doyoung followed, trying to keep his eyes on the ground, and not up your tutu. Looking at you without your consent wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be, even though everything in him kept edging him to look.

“Fuck, there is a long line for the bathroom.” you said, stopping at the top of the steps. You got on your tiptoes to look over the crowd. “That’s the negative part of going to a party in a big house.”

“Whose party is this?”

You shrugged. “Someone from Jaehyun’s work. I only come for the free alcohol.”

  Doyoung wedged himself into the back of the line, his body blocking off the entire hallway behind him. You followed, standing to his side, your little butterfly wings impatiently wavering the slower the line moved.

“I appreciate you coming with me.” Doyoung said.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Mmm.” he mumbled. 

  You looked at him. In the artificial light, he could see a sweep of glittery purple eyeshadow on your lids. There was a light blush on your cheeks and a pink stain on your lips. You looked so beautiful that he couldn’t look away. Though people were chattering in the line, the both of you were silent. Even as the line inched forward, neither of you talked.

 Doyoung felt caught up in his mind. He remembered the last few weeks and how pleasant they were. He had stopped being angry about you inhabiting his personal space. He stopped putting so much effort into being unhappy. He watched Jaehyun come and go from work with a smile. He was always there for you during movie night. He even helped you find a job you loved. He had made the girl he was dating his girlfriend, and had finally sealed the deal with her. He thought maybe it was the sex with her that had made him loosen up and feel happy, but he feared that it was all because you had truly seen him. He had been buzzing ever since.

“Why do you do that sometimes?” you asked, leaning against the wall, your wings getting smushed.

“Do what?”

“Stare at me and say nothing.” you said. “It’s like you have a whole monologue going on in your mind.”

Doyoung moved forward with the line. “I do. A monologue about how miserable I am in every situation. It’s not much, but it keeps me from having a mental breakdown.”

“And how do I fit into this?” you asked. “Plotting revenge? I took your boyfriend and now I must suffer?”

  You were joking, but Doyoung could hear the seriousness in your voice. You smiled to keep it lighthearted. You took his net and pulled him forward when the line moved.

“I don’t hate you anymore.” Doyoung said. “Haven’t you heard? My new rival is boyfriends who break promises to their girlfriends.”

  Suddenly, it seemed like the room had stopped moving. You knew he was talking about Jaehyun. He knew you knew. If you couldn’t sense his annoyance at Jaehyun before, you could feel it now. If he wasn’t mistaken, he could also feel your own anger sitting in the stuffy hallway with all of the drunk people, lined up in place that felt foreign. 

“Well,” you said. “I’m glad I’m not the one you hate.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever hated you, truthfully.”

“No? I think it was touch and go for a while there.”

  Doyoung shook his head. You smiled at him and choked back some laughter. His eyes widened in fake anger, his eyebrows raising up an inch.

“What’s so funny?” he asked

“I’m sorry,” you said, releasing a laugh that was like music to his ears. “It’s just that, in this lighting, with the leotard over your head, you look like an egg.”

Doyoung closed his eyes. “I hate this. I’m also glad my girlfriend isn’t here to see this.”

  At the mention of his girlfriend, you had stopped laughing. You coughed and tried to regain your composure. Doyoung moved forward again, nudging your shoulder gently with his to get you moving. You weren’t too far from the front of the line. 

“Why didn’t she come?” you asked. 

“I don’t know.”

  Doyoung did know. When he found out about the Halloween party, he was excited to invite her to her first real event with him that involved other people. She hadn’t met Jaehyun yet, hadn’t really heard of you. She was excited, too. She wanted to be let inside of Doyoung’s life, not just hovering on the outside, spending time at her place, or in cafes and bars that he hated. Because of the whole costume fiasco, she bailed at the last minute.

 You weren’t buying the lie. He could read it in your eyes. Instead of talking about it more, you gently touched his shoulder. “Hey, I am really glad we’re friends now. I don’t know many people who would do what you did for me tonight.”

“It’s nothing.” he said. “You needed me.”

 Maybe choosing to wear a couple costume with his roommate's girlfriend was the wrong choice, especially since his real girlfriend had already picked one out for them to wear. 

“We’re up next!” you said, growing excited. You moved your wings away from the wall and brought them back to their full glory. When Doyoung realized he was staring again, he looked down at the floor.

  It was his turn to use the bathroom. He barely fit through the door. You had to push him inside. As you shut the door behind you, Doyoung heard people groaning about the couple going in to have sex in the bathroom. He blushed, hoping you hadn’t heard them.

You put your hands on your hips. “Okay. How are we going to do this?”

  He didn’t like that you were eyeing him up and down. It made him feel too exposed. Though his junk was covered with nothing but net, his closed fist went to block you from view.

“Oh?” you asked. “You can look at my ass, but I can’t look at your dick?”

“No I-”

You put your hands on his shoulders. “Do-ie, relax. Anyway, you’re going to have to get naked. This won’t work, otherwise.”

“Turn around.”

“But I need to help you.” 

  You grabbed at his tubing, bending it out of shape and pushing it down far enough to free his head from the black condom. You were being so rough with him that he again got turned on. You fixed his wild black hair before stretching and pulling the neck and leotard further down his shoulders. Before you went too far and brought it all the way down his body, his hands stopped you. His touch was gentle, his eyes firm.

“I can do the rest.” he said.

You turned around. “Do you want me to leave?”

  But Doyoung couldn’t wait. He pulled and pulled the leotard down, his earlier Hulk daydream coming true. The top of it was ripping, but he didn’t care. He pulled it down, along with his underwear, grabbed his dick and aimed into the toilet. The sound of his piss was louder than it needed to be, but the relief he felt kept him away from the embarrassment he would no doubt feel as soon as he was finished.

“You’re really pissing with me in the bathroom.” you said.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold it.”

  You held your hand over your ears, but you were giggling too. The moment was humorous, even to Doyoung. He finished pissing but he had started laughing with you, so there were still little bits dribbling out.

“How.. much.. more do you.. h-have?” you asked, your voice coming out in wisps.

“Don’t make fun of me!”

  You crossed your arms over your chest, and when Doyoung said he was decent, you turned back around to face him. The leotard was halfway up his chest because it was all he could get back up by himself. 

“That was the best piss I’ve ever taken.” he said.

“Let me help you.” you said, ignoring him.

  You yanked up the remaining length of his costume but kept the netting, tubing and the part that covered his head free. He was sweaty, and as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he thought he looked kind of sexy. He looked at you to see if maybe you thought the same, but you weren’t looking at him.

“Move.” you said. “I have to go, too.”

“Here? With me?”

“Well, yeah. Where else will I go?”

“I can wait outside.”

“No need.’

You pushed past him and started taking off your wings. “Just turn around and don’t listen. I have a shy bladder.”

  But it was hard for Doyoung not to listen. He had seen you in indecent ways since Jaehyun started dating you, but somehow, hearing your clothes hitting the floor and your naked body sitting on the toilet, it was a new kind of intimacy he wasn’t prepared for. It was a moment Jaehyun wasn’t a part of, and Doyoung didn’t know how he felt about it.

“Don’t listen!” you hissed.

“I’m not.” he whispered.

  There was a hard knock on the bathroom door but he ignored it. He was concentrating hard on the tile covering the bathroom floor, trying his best not to hear you peeing into the toilet bowl. But he did hear, and it drove him crazy with a feeling he couldn’t describe.

“I’m done,” you said.

Doyoung started to turn around but you screamed. “No! I meant that I’m done peeing. Don’t look. I’m naked.”

“Naked.” he repeated. 

  He could hear you breathing behind him, hear the way the costume sounded sliding up your body. He imagined the thin fabric covering your breasts, your nipples getting hard. He heard the scratchiness of the tutu snap into place. You turned on the water to wash your hands, and he remembered that he hadn’t either, so he closed his eyes and followed your lead.

“It’s okay.” you said. “I’m dressed, but I need help with my wings.”

He looked at you. Without the wings, you looked like a ballerina. The curls in your hair were falling out from the humidity in the bathroom. He didn't realize how hot it was getting with two people in there at once. He turned off the water and shook water from his hands.

“You’re staring.” you said, turning around.

“Sorry.”

Doyoung dried his hands on a towel hanging on a hook. He took your wings and fixed them to your back, his fingers touching the softness of your skin longer than he needed to. When he was done, you turned back around and inhaled deeply. On the exhale, you gestured to the bathroom door. Leaning over you, Doyoung flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom to a bunch of people clapping.

“That was record time, bud.” someone yelled.

“We didn’t have sex.” Doyoung said.

“Fucked her good.” someone else yelled.

  All Doyoung could see was a sea of eyes that wouldn’t understand. Admittedly, he began to feel good that the crowd of people thought you were his. He didn’t believe he was ever good enough to get someone like you. He looked at you to make sure you weren’t upset by the accusation, but your face was lit up with joy. You took his hand and directed him into one of the bedrooms at the end of the hall.

“Yes!” a voice echoed. “Fuck her even better!!”

“Ignore them.” you said, unfazed. “Look at this.”

  In the room you had guided him into, there was an old piano sitting in the middle of it. It was dark in the room but there was no mistaking it. The lights you turned on only made it appear more beautiful and grand, its ivory keys itching to be touched.

“How did you know this was here?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t know anyone.”

“Jaehyun talked about his musician friend. He said he had a lot of instruments in his house.” you said. “I didn’t want to be in the hallway anymore, and my guess was correct. I didn’t know what I’d find when I opened the door, but I think that’s where the fun is.”

“And where is the fun for you?” Doyoung asked, approaching the piano.

“In the not knowing.” you said. “And I’m good at that.”

  He could feel you watching him over his shoulder. Your words didn’t settle in his brain like they would if he wasn’t preoccupied. All of his thoughts were about the baby before him, the beauty in the future. Once he put his fingers on the keys, he didn’t know what would come out, but he hoped it was beautiful.

“How come you never told Jaehyun that you sing or play?” you asked, circling him.

“I never told you I play, either.”

  He looked back at you. You had the good will to appear sheepish. But it didn’t matter. Doyoung was so head over heels for you that any kind of eavesdropping only felt like progression in your relationship. Doyoung pulled out the bench and sat on it. The legs wobbled, but they held his weight fine enough. 

“Can you play me something?” you asked.

  You gingerly sat beside him, your weight joining his. It was a tight squeeze on the bench, but Doyoung loved the feeling of your warm, bare thigh against his. There was also a magical feeling in the air that kept him weighted down where he sat, the future suddenly looking not too grim. Doyoung felt comfortable, content, and free. 

“What would you like to hear?” 

“Anything.”

  Doyoung’s fingers were on the keys. He tickled a few of them and smiled when they played the most gorgeous sound. The person who owned the old piano kept it in good shape. As he geared up ready to play, he hoped it wouldn’t be so loud. He could still hear the music pumping away downstairs and guessed that no one would come in and check on them.

“Close your eyes.” Doyoung said. “Just trust me.”

  When you did as he asked, Doyoung started playing. He never really played for anyone other than when he did recitals as a kid. Growing up, his parents didn’t want him to pursue music full-time, so the piano was meant for chance meetings at music stores and moments that never came but he wished for, like this.

 The song he played was his own. He remembered it, closing his own eyes to play what he had written on paper years ago. It was romantic sitting in the room next to you, your eyes closed, just feeling the music dance all around you. Getting lost in song was his true passion, and though he didn’t plan on it, he started singing. His voice shook, at first. As each second ticked by, it grew stronger and more stable. Doyoung sang his heart out. It made him nervous that he was singing to you, and only to you. The three minutes went by quickly, the end giving out only because he started to feel nervous at what you would say about the impromptu concert. All of the negative feelings flew away when he opened his eyes and watched you clap slowly, your eyes teary, your smile relaxed.

“That was beautiful, Doyoung.” you said. “I can’t explain it, but it felt like I was frozen in time, like I was watching us from above, and everything was perfect and nothing could touch us.”

He felt shy. He took his hands off the keys and set them in his lap. “Thank you.”

“Sometimes I feel like you should quit your job and do singing full-time.” you said.” You sound so good. And the way you play...you’re special.”

“Thank you.” he said.

“I wish I could play like that.”

“You can.”

“I definitely cannot.’ you said. “The only thing these fingers are good for is breaking pistachios open and-”

  You stopped talking when Doyoung took your hand. He pressed your fingers down into the cold keys, his hand guiding you. He held in a key with your hand while his foot put pressure on the pedal. He played his song with your fingers, diligently dragging your one hand and using his other to fill in the gaps. You leaned in closer, your body enchanted by the sound you were making. Your head was almost on his shoulder, and for a second, Doyoung swore he could feel you wanting so badly to rest it there.

“There is so much more about you I’ve yet to learn.” you said.

“I’m a pretty open book.”

You side-eyed him. “Another lie. Doyoung, we’ve essentially lived together for three months. When will you understand that I know you a lot better than you think. I know all your secrets.”

Doyoung let go of your hand. “Not all of them.”

 There it was again: The Silence. Doyoung wanted to close the lid of the piano and leave the room. He wanted to walk his way through the house, passing Jaehyun without saying anything, and he wanted to go home where it was safe. Instead, he looked at you, his gaze falling to your lips. You leaned in first, brave enough to grab the side of his cheek and pull him towards you.

 There was no music in the room, but as you kissed, Doyoung could hear every single note of every laughter you’ve ever spilled because of him, every gasp, every sigh. He moved closer on the bench and put his finger underneath your chin, tilting your head up just a little bit. The kiss that started soft was getting aggressive, the feeling of his tongue wanting to break through your lips. 

 It was the moment he had been thinking about for months. His head was mostly empty of thoughts. There were no regrets. There weren’t any distractions, any inner monologues guiding him. All that was there were your lips and the softness of your hand against his face. He tasted your breath, your tongue, your lips. Somehow, the silence didn’t seem all that bad anymore. 

 But, then, Doyoung’s elbow came down on the piano and the sharp sound broke both of you apart. You wiped your lips and he got up from the bench, his fist up against his mouth and his eyes darting back and forth.

“I should go.” you said, getting up too.

“Right.”

  You walked across the room, passing Doyoung without looking at him. You barely made it to the door before you walked briskly back to him and threw your body in his arms. Doyoung’s hands were up your back, crushing your wings. He welcomed your lips with an open mouth, pulling your body up against his until he felt like one person. You both stood swaying in one spot, making out, and clinging to each other.

“This is cheating.” Doyoung said. You went to kiss him again, but he stepped back. “I can’t do it to Jaehyun, or to my girlfriend.”

“It’s already done.”

October 31, Halloween.

  There were so many empty candy wrappers in the bowl. Doyoung sat on the couch with the plastic bowl in his lap that was meant for trick-or-treaters. No one had knocked on his door for over an hour, so he figured the rest of the candy was his to share with no one. You and Jaehyun were out at yet another Halloween party, and he was left alone to watch old-timey scary movies and think about the previous night.

  He had kissed you a lot. After he said he wouldn’t kiss you again, he had backed you against the wall and kissed you some more. If he were actually drunk, he wasn't so sure he wouldn’t have placed you on top of the piano and fucked you. Still, making out was just as sinful as all of the things he thought about doing to your body. 

  Afterwards, you both went downstairs to find Jaehyun playing beer pong. He was cocky and drunk, and he had no idea that either of you had been gone for awhile. Doyoung couldn’t stick around. He leaned in and let you know he was leaving. You didn’t try and stop him. Ever since, he was wondering if it was a good thing. The less interaction you had together, the easier it was for him to stop thinking about kissing you.

Not really. He still thought about it.

  Doyoung was grateful for the second Halloween party, which he was invited to. He politely declined, citing his need for rest after a long party. Jaehyun thought his roommate got really drunk. If only he knew Doyoung was drunk with love, maybe then he wouldn’t let him around his girlfriend so easily.

 So, sitting on the couch alone didn’t seem so bad in the grand scheme of things. He could stuff his face with candy and wallow in his own feelings. There was a sting of jealousy whenever he thought about you having a good time with Jaehyun, the tail to your little cat costume in his hands. When the worst got the best of him, he imagined Jaehyun tugging you to him and kissing you on the same lips he kissed last night.

 The doorbell startled Doyoung. He picked up his bowl and went to the door, swinging it open with a cheery smile on his face. There was no one there, which made him feel foolish.

“Do people still do that?” he called down the hallway. “Ring the bell and run away?”

  Doyoung shut the door behind him. He rummaged his hands in the candy bowl as he walked back to the couch, plucking out a milk chocolate bar. Before he made it to his safe haven, the doorbell sounded. Quickly, he made it to the door and swung it open. Again, it was empty.

“If I catch you, you won’t like what happens to you.” he called.

  He shut the door but didn’t move from behind it. He would catch the kids who were messing with him. He waited a few minutes but there was nothing. He set the bowl down on the side table and opened the door to see you standing there.

“Hi.” you said.

“Hello.”

Your cat tail was in your hands. You looked worn out, the pink makeup on your nose halfway rubbed away. You smiled, looking down at his empty hands.

“Where is the candy?” you asked. “I heard there was some candy left.”

  Not knowing how to respond, Doyoung looked behind the door and brought the candy bowl. It sat against his ribs, dividing him from you.

“Trick-or-treat.” you said, your eyes not wavering from his.

“Treat. “Doyoung said, dropping the candy bowl on the floor, crossing the threshold, and setting his lips on yours.