#I don’t know which part wins. depends on the day I guess

[minionwater]

sallies _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

[graveyardlifeguard]

Survivors Part 4

Summary: Occurs during the events of Season 4x13 and Season 4x14.

*This is my first attempt at writing after many, many years so please go easy on me*

Warnings: Shooting, Injury, Blood

Strictly Angst with a teeny tiny bit of Fluff

Eddie Diaz x Paramedic! Reader

The next morning, Eddie and I were both feeling the effects of staying up late as we both moved around the house like drunk zombies. Carla arrives early as usual and laughs at Eddie and I before making the comment, “You both look exhausted.” As we’re getting dressed for the day, she was kind enough to make both of us mugs of coffee. I can’t remember the last time I drank a coffee so fast. Eddie was mature and sipped his correctly while he threw me funny glances when he noticed that mine was gone before we were even halfway to work.

Once at work, Eddie parked the car but before I can move to open the door, I feel his hand on my bicep to which he smoothly pulls me back towards him. A long kiss is once again initiated, which I’m not complaining about. When it’s decided that we both need to come up for air, just like last night, Eddie places a soft kiss to my forehead. Although giving me a kiss before work wasn’t unusual, there was something about this one that just felt… different. It’s not like we weren’t going to see each other for a while. We both worked in the same station, we see each other constantly, well that it is call depending I guess.

“What’s all that about cowboy? We’re both going into the same place.” I ask, still smiling at him.

He pauses before answering, staring into my eyes as though the answers to life greatest mysteries sat behind them. “I just love you so much.”

I don’t know how but the smile on my face somehow grew ten times bigger than it already was. We had this game going for years of who could say ‘I love you’ the “largest.” It was always a race to see who could say it last or the largest amount. To the moon and back, to infinity and back, etc. Usually, he won but today I wanted it to be different. So as quick as I can, I give him a quick kiss on the lips, whisper “I love you more than anything” and high tail it out of the car. I can hear him laughing and yelling behind me but that doesn’t matter. I said it last, so I won this round.

After changing into my uniform, I made sure to hide from Eddie so I can maintain my win. Shift change is done rather quickly with my nighttime relief where he reports that nothing crazy had occurred throughout the night. Hopefully, it would stay that way today. Gathering all the information I have on Sheila Leute, or whatever her name is, I make my phone call to CPS. They give me the generous offer of coming by in a few days to check on Charlie. They tell me how bogged down and short staffed they are, causing there to be a large back up on their already established cases. Fair enough, we unfortunately could relate to low staffing issues. Jumping in my CCP vehicle, I make my way towards Charlie and Sheila’s residence.

Making my way up the elevator, I feel my personal phone vibrating in my pocket. Luckily, my smart watch is connected to my phone so I can see who is calling without having to dig into my pocket. The elevator door opens up at the same time that I see that it’s Eddie who is calling. I end the call and begin to send him a voice message that I’m busy when I notice that Shiela and Charlies apartment door is already open. Walking up to the door, I find Charlie standing by the window, looking absolutely panicked. I rush into the house, quickly finding his mom on the living room floor, grasping at her throat with foam coming out of her mouth. I feel my eyes widen for a moment before I immediately get to work helping her. I hear Charlie say behind me that he had already called Eddie and that Eddie was on the way. That probably explains why Eddie was calling me. I had already told Dispatch where I was and what I was doing so the 118 had to know I was already here.

By the time I hear sirens outside, I had already placed an IV started in her right hand with a bag of Fluids running in. I luckily found a place to hang the bag before I work on ventilating her with the BVM. Charlie tells me that he put eye drops in his moms cereal and that he just wanted to see what would happen when he did it. Before I can say anything to reassure him, the door slams open even further and Captain Mehta and his crew are beside me. I can hear Eddie beginning talking to Charlie as I update Mehta and his squad about Sheila’s condition. From the kitchen, I can hear Charlie tell Eddie that he has known for a while that his mom has been putting eye drops in his food and drinks. My heart drops as I realize that Charlie knew exactly what his mom was doing to him. How she was the one that was poisoning him and making him sick. I glance towards the kitchen and lock eyes with Eddie. The realization that he knew hurts more than either of us could have realized.

“The kid’s going to need treatment too,” Buck starts, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I guess they had figured out how Sheila was causing Charlie’s illness after I left this morning.

“Same kind of poisoning, just smaller doses. But for a really long time.”

After loading both Charlie and Sheila onto stretchers and making sure both crews were okay for the moment, I begin to pack up my gear. Thank God I had brought it up with me. As I reach down to pick up the monitor, a hand beats me to it. A familiar hand that belongs to someone I mentally and emotionally need at the moment. I once again look up and meet Eddie’s eyes. There’s a look of sympathy there that I can’t quite understand. Sure, I had a personal connection to this situation, but not as much as Eddie did. Nothing is said for a moment as I notice that Buck is still standing nearby in the kitchen, with my medical bag on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Is all I can get out for the moment, but it seems to convey everything I want to say as both men just smile and nod at me. Moving towards the elevator, they update me on how they figured out what was causing Charlie to be sick. Eddie tells me about how he saw the eyedrops the other day while looking through the cabinets. By the time we reach the bottom floor and make our way through the lobby, Charlie and Sheila are being wheeled to their respective ambulances. My SUV is sitting out front, now surrounded by Battalion 7, Captain Mehta’s firetruck, and the two ambulances. Noticing the confused look on my face brought on by seeing Battalion 7 with no Bobby in sight, Buck laughs and tells me it was the only vehicle available. On the way to talk to Charlie, the boys place my bags in the back of my vehicle before meeting me at Charlie’s side.

“Will I see her at the hospital?” He asks me. Honestly, the question breaks my heart. Even after knowing what she was doing to him, that was still his mother and he still wanted to be around her. Eddie responds to Charlie before I can, telling him that she’s a little more sick and that she’ll have to go to a different hospital. From the other ambulance I can hear that Sheila has woken up and is now yelling for “her baby.” In all honesty, it pisses me off. How can you, for years, poison your own child yet want to call him your baby. It just didn’t make sense to me. The doors close to the ambulance with them leaving shortly after.

I let out a defeated sigh as Buck and Eddie move towards me. With Buck standing in front of me, Eddie moves to my left, something I had noticed that he had subconsciously started doing ever since he proposed. Nonetheless, I appreciated them being close to me in this moment. My mind needed them to help with the emotional toll this call had taken on me. I feel like I should’ve done more. I knew the other day that something wasn’t right and yet I bit my tongue and did nothing about it. It felt like this whole situation was my fault.

“I should’ve gotten here sooner.” I think to myself, or so I thought. Not realizing that I had said it out loud, I move my eyes away from Charlie’s ambulance and meet the concerned stares of Eddie and Buck. They both knew how I took certain things personal. A call like this with an outcome like this? Oh yeah, I was going to take it personally. Both men move to say something before Captain Mehta, unknowingly, interrupts them.

“Lieutenant, you want to ride with the kid to the hospital?”

“Yeah, that would be gre—” My sentence is cut short as a loud gunshot rings out nearby. It feels as though time stopped. Everything and everyone seems to be moving in slow motion. Looking up at Buck, my brain registers that he is now covered in blood. It’s on his face, his neck, and his shirt. Has he always been in that shirt? It’s not our uniform. Thinking of the uniform, my uniform feels wet all of a sudden. Why would my shirt be wet when it’s not raining outside? Time is still moving incredibly slow as I look towards Eddie, who now has an absolute look of terror on his face. It takes me way too long to realize why my shirt is wet and what’s causing the cold sensation to move down my body. I’ve been shot. Someone shot me. Glancing down at my shoulder, I can see the gnarly hole in uniform shirt that accompanies the new hole that has made its home in my body. My breath catches in my throat, and it feels impossible to stand upright. My knees give out on their own and I feel myself slowly drop to the ground. All at once, time seems to catch back up to me and I find myself staring across the road at Eddie and Buck. They are behind the cover of the firetruck with Mehta appearing to be holding them back. My body grows cold quickly, and my head begins to feel heavy, like it weighs thirty tons. There's a weird, wet sensation on my head and I realize that my blood is soaking through my hair, aiding the cold sensation I’m already feeling. How odd…

Lying on the cold, now blood-soaked ground, I can hear Captain Mehta yelling through the radio that there’s been shots fired. And that a Paramedic has been shot. My brain constantly reminds me, maybe to keep me conscious, that it’s me. I’ve been shot. I’m the Paramedic that’s been shot. Glancing up through blurry vision, that seems to be growing darker by the second, I can still register that Eddie and Buck are lying on the ground, yelling for me. At this point though, my hearing feels like I’m lying on the ocean floor, and they are on the shore, whispering to me. Despite my best attempts at keeping them open, I can feel my eyes shutting.

When I come to, it’s pain that has awoken me. Someone has grabbed my arm. The one will a new hole in it. “I’ve been shot,” I tell myself again and again. Maybe if I keep saying it, my brain will keep me awake. And alive. There’s someone screaming in pain. My brain doesn’t register that it’s me screaming in pain only that someone is screaming. It distracts me long enough that I realize that I might not have been the only one shot. Eddie and Buck are here too. One of them might’ve been shot. Oh God. How was I going to explain this to Christopher or Maddie that their loved one had been shot? While trying to process everything that’s going on, I realize that somehow I’m standing on my own two feet. But it’s not for long as I quickly find myself being thrown over someone’s shoulder and passed along to someone else. I feel like I’m flying as I now see that I’m in the back of the fire truck. Why am I looking up at the roof of the truck?

Items and faces blur together again for a moment and my hearing once more sounds like I’m being dunked under water. It sounds like there’s more gunfire but at this point I can’t really tell what’s going on. A face appears above me and I think it’s Eddie. It’s hard to tell as my eyes keep closing on their own. There’s a sharp tug at my shirt and my vision clears up from the jolt of pain that follows it. Eddie is leaning over me while Buck is slamming thick gauze over the new hole in my shoulder. I’ve been shot. I have been shot. This doesn’t make sense. I was just on a Wellness check call. How am shot? I’ve been shot? Eddie appears again in front of my face and this time I notice the blood covering him. My head falls to the side to check on Buck where I find that he too is blanketed in blood. Somehow though, he’s absolutely covered by it. I can see their mouths moving but I’m not hearing anything that they’re saying.

My brain focuses in again. Eddie and Buck are soaked in blood. Were they shot too? Buck is still holding my shoulder with what feels like all of the strength in his body. If it didn’t hurt so much, I would crack some sort of joke with him about it. Everything blurs again and when I come to this time, they are both leaning over me, and I can finally hear what they are saying. This time, I can see the genuine fear in both of the boys eyes.

“Stay with me baby, you got to stay with us!” Eddie pleads, he can’t sit still as he keeps moving over top of me. His eyes are crazed as he looks all over the place as if he’s searching for something. Another bullet wound maybe? I’ve never seen this look in his eye and I don’t like it. I want to soothe him and tell him that I’m fine but the only thing I manage to cough out is,

“Are y’all hurt?” They look at me like I’m crazy before subconsciously looking over themselves, and each other, before answering. Buck opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. His mouth and jaw twitch to move but it’s like that’s all he can do in the moment.

“No, no, no baby we’re okay. We’re okay, okay? You’re going to be okay and we’re okay” Eddie tells me, struggling to get the words out. In the background I can hear what sounds like Mehta yelling over the radio, “…A Paramedic has been shot…It’s the Lieutenant from the 118!”

Eddie and Buck are back in my line of sight now, but it doesn’t last long. It’s almost like my body needed the reassurance that they were okay so I could rest. Their mouths are moving again, I think, there are words coming out of them. The only thing I feel like I know is that I have a hole in my shoulder, and I’ve been shot. Words are muffled and time feels like it’s slowing down again. I don’t want to die. I want to get married to Eddie Diaz. I want to spend the right of my life with him. This isn’t fair. I love him. And I know he loves me. This isn’t fair to him. Or to me. My head lolls back to the side and I feel someone’s hand straighten it back up. It’s Eddie and I can see the tears rolling down his cheeks. It’s cutting through the blood like a knife, making a clear pathway down his face. He’s talking to me and the way that I long to hear what he’s saying is unnatural. Somone is placing an oxygen mask on my face, and everything goes quiet. I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I try to look up Eddie one last time. I don’t know if this is it, but I want my last look at the world to be of my world. Eddie Diaz. I don’t know if can sense it or see the change in my eyes, but something shifts in his. Although I can’t hear him. I can somewhat see him. He looks even more panicked, more petrified and I don’t how he manages it. I’m just really tired, and cold. There’s a hole in my shoulder….and I’ve been shot. By the time the truck feels as though it’s coming to a sudden stop, I lose the battle to consciousness and slowly drift off...

[denimbex1986]

'The actor and Baftas host answers your questions about facial hair, Doctor Who, Scrooge McDuck – and growing up as the son of a minister

How do you face the challenge of being this year’s Bafta host? practicalpanic I don’t currently feel particularly challenged because everything’s written down for me and I don’t have to worry about winning – or not winning – an award. If it was the first night of a play, I’d be curled up in a corner in the foetal position. But the fact that it’s not my day job certainly feels liberating. Who knows why they asked me; I must have been pretty far down the list. Expectations are pretty much zero. I don’t have anything to prove. Will I be phoning [previous Bafa hosts] Jonathan Ross and Stephen Fry for advice? I might do. But I’m travelling in blissful ignorance at the moment.

What’s your sideburn policy? They appear to be sized in direct proportion to your characters’ confidence. DrHugbine That’s a very interesting observation, which I don’t think has any truth behind it, but it’s making me wonder …

Here are some examples … Fright Night’s Peter Vincent – long and bushy, confident vampire killer. The Doctor in Doctor Who – long and pointy, charismatic and charming. Broadchurch’s DI Alec Hardy – beard, no sideburns, introverted and suspicious. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’s Barty Crouch Jr – no beard, no sideburns, complex and a traitor. Good Omens’ Anthony Crowley – ginger, no sideburns, stylish but tempted Eve in the garden of Eden as a snake so a bit of a bad egg generally. TopTramp I don’t think you’re going to write a doctoral thesis based on that evidence. It’s very thin evidence, at most. I grew sideburns for Doctor Who because, back then, I was worried I was a bit young for it and I thought they slightly aged me. Which, of course, I then had to recreate recently when I’m almost certainly too old for it. I guess increasingly I am unshaven, in which case you don’t really have to worry about sideburns because they’re part of something else. Whatever length my sideburns are on the night of the Baftas has no reflection on how I’m treating the Baftas.

As a vicar with young kids, I wondered what influence being a son of the manse has had upon your work? RevdAl It’s hard to know, because you only know the influences you had specifically from your parents because they’re your parents – it’s hard to unpick. It certainly wasn’t a childhood filled with religious dogma or any kind of restrictions. It was more a moral guidebook.

What was it like kissing Michael Sheen [in season two of Good Omens]? And who enjoyed it more? carnies18 Who enjoyed it the most? Presumably Michael was thrilled. How could he not be? But it was another day at work. The most difficult bit was other people’s awkwardness. We thought it was quite fun, so it was fine. He’d brushed his teeth.

Would you accept a knighthood just to fuel an excellent argument with Sheen in the next series of Staged? Shirls Because he sent his OBE back? That predisposes the fact that anything that’s talked about in Staged is based on real life. We are in our own houses, acting opposite people we spend our life with. But that’s pretty much the extent of the reality of Staged.

Which is best – playing a detective, a murderer or a murder victim? JonnyMorris1973 Well, one of them solves the crimes. One of them commits the crimes. And the other one has a crime done to them. It probably depends which character the writer is most fond of and therefore the most fun to play. It’s not really in the gift of the actor, so much as in the gift of the scriptwriter. I think I’ve only played one detective, haven’t I? What’s my favourite way I’ve been murdered? Oh my goodness. I was shot in The Last September. I get murdered on stage every night in Macbeth, although that’s a spoiler. I sort of died in Doctor Who when I got shot by a galvanic beam in a radiation chamber that filled my body with more radiation I could cope with.

Am I as geeky as the Doctor who fans? Yes. As a Doctor Who fan myself of old, I can very much can plug into that. I don’t think I ever got in trouble at school. That is one of those stories that’s ended up on Wikipedia. I wrote an essay on Doctor Who, which some unpleasant newspaper found and printed. But I didn’t get in trouble for it. I think I got quite a good mark for it.

Who would win in a fight between Crowley, The Doctor and Scrooge McDuck? AlistairDionysus Probably Scrooge McDuck. He seems to be able to survive just about everything. He’s far more resilient than Crowley or The Doctor, who seem to end up staring destruction in the face. Scrooge McDuck, nothing seems to trouble him.

You have a lovely singing voice! Would you like to do a musical? Beatrice_Tate, gaityr, laibarra622 and Luigii I make a nice curry, but I’m not going to open a restaurant. Would I do the Masked Singer? I love The Masked Singer. Nothing has excited my eight-year-old daughter more than when everyone thought Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs was me, week after week. You can imagine how disappointed she was when it turned out I wasn’t.

If you were a cheese, what kind would you be? BrianBraddock I’ve got very into paneer curries. Paneer is neither hard nor soft, so I’ll say that because it makes me sound like I’ve really thought about it.

What’s the last item you snatched from a set? NataliaBCN I’m just going back through things I might have pocketed. Maybe this is the upbringing we talked of earlier. I’m very bad with nicking things. I’m plagued with guilt. The last time they released a new sonic screwdriver toy, someone gave me one but I gave it away because I’m so full of generosity, but now I slightly regret it.

Your portrayal of serial killer Dennis Nilsen [in ITV’s Des] was truly terrifying. How do you prepare for a role like that? YorkshireExPat With someone such as Dennis Nilsen, there is quite a lot of material that’s been written about him. There’s video evidence of him. So you immerse yourself as much you can, then join a line between that and the version of the character that’s in the script, because, ultimately, that’s the version you have to portray. One thing we were very careful to do on Des was to not make it from his point of view. I don’t think you can ask an audience to sympathise or understand someone like Nilsen. It’s the story of how he got away with all these things, then was caught. Hopefully the audience is left thinking: how can someone who is just another member of the human race be committing these extraordinary acts and the rest of us not notice or understand?

If you could regenerate as anyone else for the day, who would you choose? TopTramp My wife, just to see how annoying I really am so I could be properly objective and understand her pain.'

[disasterbuck]

FanFic Ask Game

So I saw this post (linked above) and decided to answer all the questions instead of just reblogging and waiting for asks. Enjoy getting to know a bit more about me as a writer!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I love how fluffy it generally is and how my fics always have a happy ending 🥰

😐 What embarrasses you most about your own writing?

I don't think I'm embarrassed about my writing? Maybe sometimes I'll write a kiss that feels a bit cringe?

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

'the heist wip'. Inspired by the episode Ocean's 9-1-1, I wanted to explore what situation could make them ACTUALLY turn to crime. I had a vague idea of a woman's dog being kidnapped by her abusive ex, and Buck gets all obsessed over it and eventually asks the rest of the team to help him break the dog out or something. idk. I don't have a solid enough idea and I feel like it would end up being a long fic which I just can't commit to atm. (If anyone reading this is inspired by this idea, feel free to write it!! But please tag me if you do! I would love to read it!)

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

... I don't think so?

Yeah I've just had a skim through and can't find anything that I would never share if I managed to finish it.

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Ooohhh, I love getting comments on ALL my fics but I guess if I had to choose I'd probably go with Friends Don't (8.5k) because it has a special place in my heart.

✏️ Do you write every day?

Not strictly, but most days yes.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

"Back to my point," Chimney said once Hen's laughter died down. "You two are codependent. I bet you couldn't even go a day without having to touch each other."

Buck's face flushed a darker shade of red.

"Yes we could," Eddie argued, suddenly stubborn and confrontational. "We could go a week."

"You wanna bet, Diaz?" Chimney asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

After a quick glance to communicate with Buck, Eddie nodded and said, "You're on. What are the terms?"

don't say his name wip

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

I wrote 4 drabbles exactly 100 words each!! It took quite a bit of editing and revising but I'm really happy with how they turned out! You can read them here if you're interested: buddie month | four drabbles

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

fhdskjfhs I HOPE NOT 😅

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

I don't really have a preferred time of day?

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

Yes. And no. lol

📊 Current number of WIPs

............................ 104 🙈

👨‍👧‍👧 Do you tell people in real life that you write fic? 

Depends ENTIRELY on the person. But generally yes. This does not equal letting them read my fics though lol.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Hm, good question. Maybe Athena?

📝 What is one growth area you have for your writing?

Uhhh I don't know. I feel like I'm constantly learning about writing and just generally trying to improve in all areas.

📚 Do you read your own fic?

YES ALL THE TIME. I looooove reading over my fics. Makes me so happy!!

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

Writing kisses. Or endings. Both. Every time Buddie are about to kiss I tend to abandon the fic for a while lmaoooo and then whenever I have to wrap it up it takes me 3-5 business days.

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Up for anything. All I've got for it so far is this:

Buck: No, I mean it. I'm up for anything. If you can come up with something I won't do you win. But I'm telling you right now I never back down from a dare.

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

fhjskfh I hate research. My deepest dive is whatever happens in the show. I'll rewatch or maybe read wikis to make sure I get show details accurate but anything else? I'm making that shit up bestie 😅

✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.

🙈 sweet, emotional, aaaaaand heartwarming? idk

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

I don't have headcanons about my own work! Everything is canon! They're my works! My reality! YOU can have headcanons about my works lol.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

Of my own or someone elses?

Of my own fics, I love you (4k) is my fave.

Someone else's, the first that comes to mind is The Best Lie is a Truth (My Best Mask is My Face) (43k) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels uggghhh it is chef's kiss!! Fake dating my beloved! 💕

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

Lazy Mornings (1k) for being so freaking adorable 🥰

⏰ Do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?

I think it's fairly equal? But maybe a bit more time writing, because a lot of the reading I do is of physical books rather than fic.

-

taglist because there's a sneaky snippet hidden above:

@dluoser @taketheplanspinitsideways @loudenthusiastic @wallywise @mxrcjqckspnchqsc

@therosesaredying @stillfuckingtired @classtrialguru @smolfunpenguin

@awesome-igi @natnuszsstuff @olliesrants @crazyfangirlallert @delirium1995

@brah3280 @meanceclosetohell @anythingeverythingallofthetime @sunflower-eddiediaz

@darkrose6578 @veronae-buddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @loveyouanyway @inell

@spicyrottingbrains @gnoeltop @idealuk @donationwayne @lemotmo

@smilingbuckley @realpersonwithrealfeelings @superlock-in-the-tardis @mjthe14thdoctor @strxwbereee

@idontknowwhatimdoing777 @ashleigh2658 @mari-lwyd-fannibal-blog @mineyneedsmoney

@spotsandsocks @unlifeira @pirrusstuff @buddiedaydreamer911

@littlevampireprincessuniverse @misshiss727 @i-put-the-star-in-bastard @hermioneindisguise @dangerpronebuddie

@specialbrownieeater @blue-winged-boy @bucks-daddy-issues @lightningmcqueer8

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed 💕

p.s. I'm updating my taglist, check out the info on this post

[hanafubukki]

So Hana; I came across a post talking about unpopular twst opinions and was wondering if you had any.

Hello Violet 🌸💚🌷

I hope it’s okay for me to call you Violet 💚🌷

This is a rather interesting question 🤔 and I had to think on it a bit. I honestly don’t know if some of what I say is unpopular or not, so I guess I’ll express a few of my opinions that I have. ☺️🌺

I guess before I list them I should say that this is my opinion only. I don’t mean to hurt anyone by expressing them nor am I calling out anyone. Literally just my thoughts. You’re allowed to agree or disagree✨✨

Normally, I would assume I wouldn’t have to put a disclaimer such as this because everyone has their own opinions and we should all have an open mind but I’ve seen the internet lol and wowza on how some act to such things lol 🌺🙏

I hate the guest room. Personally, I’m not into that kind of mechanics in gaming. It’s not for me. The fact that we have to do it to level up friendship levels irks me. And it’s a complicated system too which is another annoying aspect. I also kind of blame the guest room function for personal stories being lowered since those have been replaced with furniture. It’s just an extra chore that I’m not really into.

Event wise: I think we have too many octa (+ ortho and ace) in them. My diasomnia bias aside, I don’t think the other characters get enough spotlight. When was the last time Ruggie was in an event? Cater? Riddle? Jack? Kalim? Rook? Deuce? I know octa make them money but still, give the others more spotlight? I don’t count the beach or Halloween event either. Because Halloween, half the cast is in it and beach event was similar. Even New years I don’t count, because eventually, we will get them all in new years outfit. The usually four character events is what I’m speaking of because that’s when you get proper screen time and development for each character. I can literally go on lolol

I don’t know why this would be unpopular but it seems it might be? But I don’t hate RSA. They have a lot of potential story telling wise and their side of things. And I know there’s biasness with NRC and we wanting them to win, but I feel there’s more to RSA than we know. Like how we shouldn’t judge villains, we shouldn’t judge the “heroes” either.

Jp schedule wise I don’t think they are too slow as many believe. I think for the working female class, which the game is aimed at, the scheduling is perfect since it was made for them after all. It gives them time for daily life and twst gaming. Doesn’t mean I don’t get impatient either lolol

On the other spectrum, EN is going too quick. With events and main story. Slow down. What are you trying to accomplish except burn out your fanbase?

I don’t want an anime. We will get one. There’s a high chance and I’ll watch it obviously. But I honestly don’t care for one. The issues that an anime will bring…is a lot.

I don’t think the gameplay is boring. As mentioned before, the game was made for the female working class. So the gameplay is to the point, and depending on the event, can be challenging. But grinding wise and all that? It’s pretty working class friendly. If I didn’t have the auto lessons and battles, I wouldn’t be playing it. It’s because of those mechanics that I am. Thats what stops me from playing many mobile games. The constant forced to play and keep track. Hence part of why I’m not into Hoyoverse games.

I don’t really care for “this place in twst = this place in IRL.” to me, it’s a game in a fantasy world. Is it interesting to see some of the influences? Yes, of course. But that’s it. I’m playing this game for the fantasy setting, the magic, the story, and the characters. I don’t really care to add, realism, I guess you could say? (I’m trying to escape reality okay? Why would I want it in my games?? 🤣🤣)

I wish we had more magic in my magic world. And I think it mainly applies for book 7 for me personally and how “wow, tech is going to beat malleus and save the day” but I kind of wish that isn’t the case. Yes, it makes for fun story telling and memes. But, for a magic based dorm, I want a magic based solution. That and the fact, I don’t care for the implication how magic is slowly being taken over by technology. Kind of hits close to home you know?? With all the AI shenanigans.

I hope two certain popular theories aren’t true and I’ll leave it there. My personally thoughts on them is, I hope it’s not that predictable and I had hoped for a different route for such characters/events.

I’ll stop there before I make a whole essay for you to read lmao 🤣🤣 I have more thoughts that I could share but this is already so long 😆

I don’t know if this was a “unpopular opinion” or more me rambling but I’ll let you decide that Violet 🙏💞☺️

What about you? What are some of your thoughts?

Would love to hear other’s opinions as well ☺️🌺

[hummingbird-of-light]

In Our Favor

Part 351

Leah

The night had not been easy.

Dreams of being in the cave had led into Leah’s nightmares from when she had been poisoned. Long, dark hallways, but this time freezing cold, her breath hanging in the air around her.

But each time she must have made some noise, because then Robbie was there, a hand soothing across her hair, holding her close to his chest. Then Leah could relax and fall into fitful sleep again.

In the morning she woke slowly, soft words being whispered nearby, a gentle hand rubbing her back.

Robbie.

Leah smiled before she opened her eyes. In front of her something gleamed. Her smile grew at the sight of the ring on her finger. Robbie had hurried off when they had gone to their room the evening before and had returned with the ring. She wondered where in the chalet he had been keeping it.

She reached over and touched it with her other hand. Behind her Robbie greeted her quietly in Gaelic. Turning over in his arms she greeted him with a kiss.

“Good morning my fiancé,” she grinned.

Robbie blushed and Leah had no choice but to kiss him again.

“Did you get any sleep? I’m so sorry I kept waking you.” Leah’s smile faded as she remembered her dreams.

“Of course mo chridhe. And don’t be sorry, it was alright. It kept me from my bad dreams.”

For a few moments they were silent, just gazing at each other and enjoying the quietness.

“How do you want to tell everyone?” Leah finally asked. She lifted her hand a slight bit to indicate the ring and their engagement. Robbie’s face colored slightly again.

“I’m not sure. I had planned everything and then… well, ye know.” Robbie gave a shrug as best he could while lying on his side.

“We could just see who notices first and how long it takes,” Leah suggested. “Who do you think?”

Robbie pursed his lips as he thought.

“Granddad,” he said after thinking. “Nothing ever gets past him.”

Leah laughed. “I’m going to guess… Mother.”

“What do we get if we win?” Robbie asked, grin pulling his mouth up.

“Hmm,” said Leah playfully. “Might depend on which of us wins. Oh. I’ll send Lenny a message to tell them not to say anything.” Leah rolled over and reached on the nightstand for her comm.

After lounging together for a while longer, the pair finally got up and headed down for breakfast. Leah felt light on her feet with the happiness of being engaged not to mention being rescued the day before.

She and Robbie sat and dished up as Father and Dr. Boyce discussed what the doctor had learned about the ski slope.

“Management has changed, and old Tom at the rental shop says nothing has been the same the last few years,” Dr. Boyce said. “He’s only stayed on because he’s been there so long, but there’s been lots of turnover in employees.”

“We’ve gotten their name?”

“Of course, and the labor minister is going to look into it.”

Leah was listening and looking down the table at Dr. Boyce, when she suddenly noticed his eyes widen slightly. He was looking at her and a slow smile came over his face.

“Princess, should we be offering congratulations?”

Leah’s face warmed as she nodded at the doctor. Across the table Lenny and Scotty were grinning.

“Congratulations?” David asked in a confused voice.

With a quick look at Robbie, Leah lifted her hand up to show the ring.

Eleanor’s face brightened and David looked on in surprise. The queen got up and moved around the table to hug her daughter.

“Oh dear! How lovely!” she exclaimed. She released Leah, then turned and hugged Robbie tightly as well.

“May I see?” Francine asked and Leah held her hand across the table.

“When did this happen?” Alasdair asked.

“Yesterday,” Robbie managed to get out. “When we were trapped.”

Dr. Boyce let out a chuckle. “What is it with you Scotts and danger?”

“I dinnae ken lad,” Granddad replied. “I certainly proposed to my wife in a normal place and so did my sons. These two…” Granddad shook his head in amusement.

“This is unexpected news,” David finally said. “But very good news.” He smiled at the newly engaged pair.

“We’d like to keep it out of the press until at least after the holidays please,” Leah said, looking at the king.

“Of course. This is our time to be together and out of the spotlight,” David agreed. “Let’s enjoy it before we must step back into the real world.”

Leah smiled happily at the king, then reached over and squeezed Robbie’s hand. It seemed neither one of them had guessed who would notice first correctly.

Part 352

Robbie

"A word please, Robert."

When he heard his grandfather's voice, the Scotsman immediately turned and looked over his shoulder.

After breakfast together, everyone had left the dining hall to go about their business, but Alasdair obviously didn't want to let his youngest grandson go just yet.

"Oh, um, aye, a sheanair. Of course."

Robbie exchanged a quick glance with Leah, who gave him another kiss on the cheek before saying she'd wait for him in her room.

"Let's go to one of the sitting rooms, shall we?" suggested Alasdair and Robbie nodded before following his grandfather.

The young Scotsman couldn't help but feel nervous. What could the eldest Scott want from him? Why had his voice sounded so stern?

A sitting room was quickly found and the two of them took a seat opposite each other in two armchairs.

They remained silent for a moment before Robbie eventually cleared his throat and spoke up.

"What's going on? Is something wrong?"

Alasdair didn't say anything at first, just looked at his grandson, which only made Robbie more nervous. He bobbed one leg up and down. After what felt like an eternity, Granddad replied.

"A wedding with a crown princess, Robbie. Are ye quite sure that's what ye want?"

The words surprised Robbie and he frowned, then blinked a few times.

"W-what? Of course I am. I love Leah! She's the girl I want to marry," Robbie replied, trying not to raise his voice too much. He had the utmost respect for his grandfather and wouldn't dare raise his voice against him, no matter how much the man's words angered him.

"I ken how much ye love the lass and I'm also very happy that ye've found your love, but do ye realize what it means to be married to her, laddie? Ye will have to rule by her side at some point. Civilizations of all kinds will keep their eyes on the two of ye – on ye – and every word you say will be scrutinized. I wonder if ye're really ready for that."

Robbie felt his cheeks grow hot with anger and he clenched his hands into fists.

"Aye, I am. It's not without reason that I've been studying royal life and Leah and David's duties a lot lately. I want to learn. And I will learn. I would do anything for Leah."

"Of course ye can learn the theory, but how will ye handle it in practice? How will ye act properly? How will ye behave properly? I've known ye all your life and I know how quickly ye either pull back or get too hot-tempered."

Robbie wanted to make a sharp remark, but he realized that he would only be confirming his grandfather's words. He needed to control himself.

"I can do this. I'm ready for it."

Robbie looked at Alasdair with a steady gaze and the older man studied him for a long moment before nodding and slowly getting to his feet and moving over to the door.

"Whatever ye say, Robert. I just want ye to be aware of the consequences, lad."

When Robbie walked into Leah's and his room, he was still surprised by the conversation with Alasdair. He had never expected his grandfather to react like this?

Leah saw immediately that something was wrong. She put her PADD aside and got up from the bed, walked over to him and grabbed his hands.

"Hey, handsome. What's wrong?"

Robbie just shook his head. He didn't know how to begin.

"I... Granddad doesn't think I'm ready to marry ye. He says I'm not aware of the consequences, but... but I am! I know what I'm getting myself into! I know what I want!"

There was desperation in Robbie's gaze and when Leah wrapped him in her arms, he snuggled close to her. He needed her support. He needed her love.

[hacked-by-jake]

I didn't finish the first episode yet, but I saw a lot of people saying that the ending was amazing and worth the pain. I was disappointed in the game, but the way all people boycott Everbyte without even finishing the episode is ridiculous to me.

I understand the anger about AI art, the emptiness of the characters, and ESPECIALLY the pay to win concept. Just because it has a good ending doesn't make up to the negative parts. But people should have first finished the episode and only then give their opinion. It wasn't fair. Yes, we are all disappointed. I also get the conspiracy theory about Everbyte having an investor or someone else taking over the design and completely messing it up. It's still no excuse to shit on the work of Everbyte like that.

People played the episode for about 15 minutes and immediately hated on Everbyte and I was one of them and am a little ashamed. It was a smart move of Everbyte to mix the main game with the side story, but I also get the people who are upset by it. We waited 2 years for answers and now we have to pay diamonds and money to get the full experience. I fully get it, yes. The criticism is completely fine but hate to the point that they insult the developes? No, just no. I can't wait to find out about the end of the episode. Until then, I wish you a good day. 🩵 Thank you for your work.

Greetings, an old friend ♡

Well, I absolutely get what you mean and I also understand why you think so.

But I have to say, I don’t think finishing the episode before wasn't necessary to see the problems and to point it out.

Many people had problems right after starting the game. It started with bugs. Of course we all had to look around before we started playing. And I guess many people immediately went to check the profile customisation options etc. Then we were greeted with AI art only. We directly saw the pictures aren't even free and most of us, or all thought we're allowed to put our own pictures as profile picture etc. Which was another disappointment right away.

Then we had to realise that we cannot pick a specific picture and buy it but only randomly.

Just a bunch of disappointments from the beginning and it didn’t get better. I mean, I saw so many people who said they gave up to play because of bugs and the mini games and stuff.

So actually, I think it's very understandable that some started to show their disappointment right away.

Of course, I only talk about critism. Not hate. There's a difference. And I said a lot of times by now that hate is absolutely disgusting.

Luckily, on Tumblr I almost saw no one really hating on Everbyte. I don’t know how hate looks to you and when it was already hate in your eyes. I think we don’t know exactly what we others meant and saw. So it's hart to give my opinion on that.

It's simply hard to say much when I don't know what exactly you saw or said or mean. Hating can look differently and I think even harsher words don’t have to be hate right away, it always depends on the context.

However, I find it very strong of you to admit that you were involved. And your words show that you have empathy with Everbyte and reflected your behavior. This is a good thing to be proud of.

I think we all might have made a mistake or two in the situation, Everbyte, but also the community. But hey, I just have to say: These games that Everbyte has created are visibly attached to our hearts and thus evoke stronger emotions. Which actually only shows how much we like the games and especially want to play them.

It’s just problematic that there were so many people at once, but that’s not our fault. We can’t just be quiet just because others have already mentioned it, it just doesn’t work that way. And unfortunately, in this situation Everbyte received criticism with the side effect that many more people follow them. So it is clear that the outcry is much bigger and louder.

Everbyte deserved the criticism. And the normal critism was much more silent than the hate. Because unfortunately it is always the case that the hate is much more noticeable than the normal critics. Hate is much louder and that’s why we remember it longer.

The whole situation was just overwhelming and we were all just full of emotions. This can get stronger and stronger, and sometimes it can make us say things we regret later.

Pure hate is a completely different story. Especially when the hate was deliberately pronounced just like that because people don’t care that we still talk about real human beings.

But I think we can all forgive ourselves for saying something in a very tense and emotional situation that might have been a bit brisk. It happened and we can't change it. The situation was too much for many of us, and it’s part of being a human being to do or say sometimes rash things without think a lot beforehand.

So I think we should not be mad at ourselves for it. (Unless you spread real hate and pure hate by insulting Everbyte personally or anything)

I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and especially for mentioning positive things at the end. And I hope you are doing better now and all thoughts can be classified and understood more calmly.

I wish you a wonderful day/evening/night. 💚

Lots of love to you, old friend. 💚

[bipolar-sad-and-ready-to-cry]

I require oc lore

Any oc

Any fandom or original world

Pretty please? :3 👉👈?

Oc lore you say???? My friend you have no clue what monster you have awoken! I’ll start with my tsams/fnaf ocs and then I’ll do my other ocs from a few original stories I have in my head (too many original stories help)

Rocket is ,as I’ve explained before, a run away from his own dimension, he gets damaged by others touching him due to his Eclipse using the star to try and isolate him from others, so Rocket is very touch starved. Rocket has the mental age of a child and really just wants to be a normal kid. Also Rocket isn’t completely defenceless/weak, even though he wants to hide it, his tail not only is the only part of his body that won’t crumble under any touch but the tip of the tail is very sharp and dangerous, not as dangerous as his Eclipse’s tail which has venom but still very dangerous. If you want to hug Rocket, swaddle him, it fools what ever his Eclipse did to him into thinking it’s just an object.

Nova! My adorable mute Nova! They used to be a she/her but changed into a they/them or he/him (depends on the day), they still love to embrace their feminine side only because they have no concept of gendered clothes, it’s only clothes to them! They have 3 older brothers and a cousin who all adore them (even though in the beginning their brothers and cousin were annoyed by them), they often hang out with the youngest of their brothers, Plazoo, even though he tries to teach them how to win in poker. Nova has been through a lot of trauma but refuses to let that keep a hold of them! It took ages for them to get over trauma, sometimes I hope to refuse to let my own trauma get the best of me like Nova has.

Now these are my original world ocs, I’ll put art with them so you know what they look like

Stevan! I made him back in high school but he only really started to develop when I became an adult, he was my hyper fixation for a good few years so be ready for lore galore! Stevan is an alien from a planet called Unver, he is pescatarian (meaning only animals he eats are egg and fish) but it’s not by choice, something is very wrong in his tummy but he can not afford to find out what is wrong because he has no money! He is homeless and has been since he was four when he was abandoned by an orphanage in the forest, even though his friends offer to let him live with them he just feels bad taking advantage of their kindness. He of course has a whole host of mental problems including DID (tried my best to research it). He is also a chimera, which means he absorbed his twin but don’t worry his dead twin lives in his head! His alters also out of some bizarre mutation to do with his family and all that has powers! Stevan cannot reliably control any of their powers unless the alter is next to him in the mind scape! That all I’ll do for Stevan, we need to give the others some attention hehe.

———

BB! My beloved BB! A very mentally unstable gooey boy! He also lives on Unver just very very far away from Stevan, he has I guess assisted living? Meaning he gets to survive and live on his own but he has people who come in to help him with certain activities like remembering to take his meds. He may or may not have bipolar and often hallucinations.

That’s all I’ll do for now! If you want to know more just ask and I’ll go digging through my pictures for them

[feralgodmothers]

Ghost Austin. Vampire Austin. Werewolf Austin. Which do you prefer?

I wasn’t sure if this was meant like… which would I rather see as a work of fiction (like fanfic or a movie), or if it was meant as: in an alternate rl scenario, which one would I want as my boyfriend? So I’m gonna answer it both ways! 😄

First up - boyfriend selection.

(I think ghost Austin would be too sad, so I’m gonna take him out of the equation for this part 🥺)

I think with werewolf Austin, your romance is more likely to be a tragic and doomed one, because generally with werewolf stories - they don’t make it out alive in the end. The village mob pretty much always wins, so your relationship would only last a few months, if you’re lucky.

With vampire Austin… honestly, the thought of drinking blood is kinda gross, and living an immortal life in this world would be pretty rough. Though naturally, having Austin alongside you would make things infinitely better… but even then - there’s still the possibility that someone or something might kill him eventually, and you’d have to deal with the same ‘life goes on’ heartbreak as the werewolf option, only in this instance there’s MORE of it, because it’s FOREVER (assuming he turned you, and you didn’t choose suicide).

So, either a romance you know is doomed to be short-lived and temporary, where you desperately enjoy all that you can while you can… or a romance that by all intents and purposes should be eternal, but has the slight chance of blind sighting you by stealing away your forever at any time? (I guess that’s just the nature of monster loving. 💔😔)

Those are just the downsides though. For the upsides, we have the age-old question (which I think is the true heart of the vampire vs. werewolf debate): do I prefer sensual or primal? 😏

There’s no denying that the werewolf trope is KINKY. You get the bondage kink:

The raw, animalistic nature (which vampires have a bit of too, but it’s definitely more front-and-center with werewolves), so you get more of the rough and feral, down-in-the-dirt kind of loving

And on top of it all, you get the grueling and arduous task of having to hunt down a naked Austin in the woods. HOW WOULD I EVER COPE???

*me walking through the woods holding out a raw steak like ‘Herrreee boyfriend boyfriend… sustenance and sexytimes!’*

Now, I feel like vampire Austin would be the closest to the Austin we all know and love (if we’re thinking along the lines of Anne Rice’s vampires, that is) - reflective and musing, with a strong undercurrent of passion, drive, and intensity.

You’d also get the sophisticated and debonair side of things, which we’ve seen from him quite a bit:

And to compare the vampire sex with the werewolf sex - I think the vampire sex would have a rawness to it as well, but it would be more absorbing and drawn out, like… deeply and sensually exploring the limits of your mind, body, and soul together.

So.. for the rl boyfriend, I think I might choose vampire Austin.

For a fictional story to enjoy…

Ghost Austin could be beautifully tender and heartbreaking, which could easily hold a special place in my heart, and the other two have the upsides I’ve already mentioned above… so ultimately, I think it would depend on the day you ask. Today, I think I’d choose werewolf Austin.

[spinningbuster98]

Castlevania II Simon's Quest Ending: Schrodinger's Simon

It’s time for the final mansion!

We have another boss: Carmilla!

Yeah sorry for any fans of the show but in her original appearance she was just a floating demonic mask that was pitifully easy to beat.

Look at the bright side: at least you don’t have to hear her voice and can just straight up ignore her....at least the second time around since by beating her she drops the Magic Cross which is needed to open the path to the ruins of Dracula’s Castle for some reason

Want me to give this game some credit? The treck to the castle’s ruins is really atmospheric!

Even just the town you pass through right before looks wrong: it’s completely devoid of color and there’s nobody there. The game never states this but the implication seems to be that, being the closest town to Dracula’s Castle, all the inhabitants were killed tha last time the Count was resurrected and it’s now a ghost town.

The actual walk through the ruins of the castle, with that creepy music playing and the fact that you have to break several tiles to get to the basement and there’s not a single soul as you’re descending...it’s truly great stuff, ESPECIALLY for an NES game! I have to applaud Simon’s Quest for this moment!

What supposedly happens in the end is that the parts of Dracula’s Body that you’ve been collecting all unite with a 6th one that was resting on that altar (couldn’t they at least have shown a sixth piece floating from that altar? I would never have guessed about its existence had I not read about it online and used to think that SOTN and HoD featuring 6 pieces was a retcon) and....not necessarily revive Dracula, what we fight is apparently supposed to be his ghost or something? Anyway you torch his ass with fire before he even has a chance to look around and bam you win!

The ending...or endings are their own can of worms...

Castlevania II features 3 endings that you can get depending on how many in-game days it takes you to complete the game, with I guess the idea being that the longer you take the less likely Simon is to survive his cursed injuries from the first game

Here’s the issue:

the endings seem completely jumbled to me

The “best” ending has Dracula’s hand jutting out of his grave

The “average” ending (which I got) has Simon die

The “bad” ending has the narration tell us that stuff in Transylvania will be happy go lucky...while also implying that Simon died and the entire screen is all a depressing grey

What the hell is up with these endings? It feels like the best ending should be the worst given that Dracula is shown to have survived and the other two are barely any different!

And the crazy thing is that to this day we don’t know which of these are canon!

I don’t think the best ending is the canon one since we’re shown that Dracula had survived which no game will follow up on and in fact this game’s direct sequel Harmony of Dissonance will flat out state that this was Dracula’s last fight against Simon, but no one, at least to my knowledge, has ever treated this as Simon’s canonical death either. Hell as much of a canon purist as Iga could be I’m surprised he never gave a definitive answer to this quandry!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I’m sorry if you already discussed this, what are your thoughts on the narrative "BTS has been/is being mistreated by the music industry" that goes around in the fandom? as much as I am a fan, and I do see some eyebrow-raising stuff + obvious examples of racism and ostracism, I feel like this idea of "Bangtan against the world/they’re been sabotaged" sounds lowkey conspiracy-ish at times. Are they really? Maybe I’m naive, I don’t know. I’m especially lost when it comes to streams and platforms such as Spotify/YT filtering the streams. I mean, the fandom is so huge now and people are playing songs on repeat for the sake of it, it does not seem like a really faire competition to me… they’re not the only ones doing this for sure as it seems to be a common thing in kpop fandoms but it seems like a taboo topic to question it… I guess I’m too old for this, lol (33 yo), i don’t get why people are so obsessed with the ranking and it seems like it keeps feeding the idea that it’s Army the savior of poor mistreated BTS against the whole mean industry (which is probably a pithole anyway). Every time I’ve tried to introduce my friends around my age to kpop, the first thing they always say is that they have a bad image on the genre because the fans are completely unhinged which does not make the music very welcoming unfortunately. I find it sad that fans don’t realize that they’re actually probably doing more harm than good.

Anon 2

My god, BMT, have you seen the whole Spotify/Lisa/ARMY fiasco on Twitter? When will these fans accept the fact that BTS aren’t victims—haven’t been for a long time—and they don’t need ARMYs protection? Then again, of course the behavior will continue when BTS encourage (James Cordon, “got ARMYs right behind us when we say so”, blah blah blah). It’s embarrassing and disgusting 💀

I've said times multiple times and nothing happened to change my mind as of today, but Army is still victimizing BTS because it's an integral part of the fandom's raison d'etre. They need to fight, they need to be the savior. And how many times have I not seen I-Army calling out the Korean fans for not streaming enough which once again, is done as a way to put themselves on this superior position in which the foreigner knows best and is the only one able to save and truly love an uplift this Korean group. But this overall mentality is found across the board. Of course it's dumb.

I saw the tweets for the past two days and honestly, it looks like desperation to me, for something that truly doesn't make any sense. Army is still there in the trences for an imaginary war that has long been won already and they are on the winning side, except they don't want to recognize it because without that war, they have no purpose. In 2022, is BTS a group dependent on streams? Really? Is that a main concern? They made it. They made a long time ago, which only makes this even more ridiculous. For this fandom, numbers will always matter most and not the quality of music, despite preaching that it's the most important aspect they're interested about and the reason why they "stan" BTS. Except they fail or won't admit that this is also about them and how they're in competition with every single person on this planet who is not BTS or BTS-approved.

They make BTS as victims when these so-called victims get to have a stage at Lollapalooza, debut one song on a stadium tour in Argentina, sing at the World Cup and without being a well established solo artist, a place at NPR Tiny Desk. Those are opportunities that came because as a group, they reached a certain level of success and fame that opens those types of doors. They are not debuting a solo song on Music Bank, but on world stages. And somehow, they still need a fandom to fight insignificant battles.

[just-liaa-01]

Are media representations of fans as ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ fair? What is your own experience of fandom?

Yow people! Im back with a new topic again! Are you guys excited, please be excited. Don’t make me the only person excited to talk about this. So my chingu we are back with topic on FANDOM. Yeayy!!

Its regarding FANDOM gosh I’m so excited! I love this topic so much as I am a part of the kpop fandom community. Yohooo! This time, I'm exposing myself since, well, why not? Most of you are aware of what fandom is, I assume. But I guess some might still not know what that is, so I’ll explain it briefly later to you guys. Talking about fandom. Which fandom are you in? Mine is a Kpop Boy group named Seventeen.

So, lets begin with what is fandom?

Ayoo how to explain it briefly ahh? This might be a bit long but trust me you’ll understand what fandom is by the end of this blog post. If you are still confused please do some research or come to me ill help you or I might also bring you to the world of kpop hehe.

Strictly, for those who live under a rock or are just uninterested in things like this. If you guys feels like I’m judging you guys now. Well yes, I am. Hahahaha don’t be too serious. Fandom is a group of people who support groups or individuals regardless of the genre. Unbeknownst to you, everyone is a fan of something whether it’s a sport, music or movie. The word FANDOM is a community which is complex and diverse. Everyone has different preferences, dislikes, and perspectives. In addition to many other wonderful qualities, we are diverse in terms of gender identity, sexual orientation, and color. We come from a wide range of nations and civilizations as well.

Even though my interests might not be of interest to you, I'll still tell you. Like I care hehe.

As I was growing up, I was exposed to a wide range of experiences. From being addicted to video games, to music, and also martial arts sports. However, music is the one that has stuck with me the most after martial arts sport. I start discovering the Korean music industry Kpop when I was in primary school at the age of 11 years old. I started with watching a Korean Drama To The Beautiful You released in 2012. That was the beginning of Amalia’s journey in the K-Drama, K-pop world. Language is not a barrier to ones interest. I’m proud to say that I have watch probably hundreds of K-Dramas and hundreds of K-pop songs too till todays age. But this one particular boy group that catch my attention by their song is Seventeen. I've been hooked by their upbeat songs and beats, entertaining choreography, and overall vibe up till now. I adore them so much as how they keep training from zero to winning a Daesang Award yesterday at the Mnet Asian Music Awards. They also teach me that giving up is not an option. You have to keep trying as a failure is a beginning of a success. I could spend all day talking about them. I've poured countless hours and dollars into my favorite bands and products. I don't regret it, though.

But often why does the media often portray fans as ‘protective’ and ‘obsessive’?

No matter what you're a fan of, society and the media will always interpret you in the way that they want. It truly depends on you, though, therefore it doesn't rule out the chance that some fans will be regarded as such.

The question is, do I consider myself as one of those? Probably no, I do love my boys so much but not to an extend where I would be so obsessed and be overprotective. Since fans come from a variety of nations and backgrounds, it is to be expected that some would behave differently than you would prefer. chasing them, intimidating them at airports, and ultimately turning into "sasaengs." "Sasaengs" are devoted followers who stalk or act in ways that violate someone's privacy.

Fan sign events are supposed to be happy occasions where fans can interact with their idols. Unfortunately this isn’t always the case During the Seventeen Fan signing event. Reported that a sasaeng fan got angry at Joshua, a member of the group. She started trowing objects at him making everyone present there in shock. Her actions brought the entire event to a halt, and a manager had to walk the fan out of the stadium and immediately escort her away from the the Seventeen group members. (Koreaboo, 2018).

Of course, the industry has seen a lot of other incidents, but this is one of the most well-known from the recent past in this group history. This has demonstrated the terrible potential of obsessed fans.

According to a news report by Soompi, Woozi said: “We prepared this song because we wanted to express our gratitude to the fans.” (Omar, 2018).

A true fan is someone who respects their idols space and privacy while still supporting them. That concludes my analysis of this week's topic. Remember, you could be a fan of anything but be a respectful and responsible one. See you next time chingu!

References:

Koreaboo. (2018). Koreaboo. https://www.koreaboo.com/lists/13-disturbing-stories-sasaeng-fans-went-far-1/ ‌

Omar, A. (2018). (Showbiz) SEVENTEEN boys give Thanks and share quirky stories. [online] NST Online. https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/groove/2018/02/333737/showbiz-seventeen-boys-give-thanks-and-share-quirky-stories

[littleviolence2016]

inspired by @b1mb1b00

1) i would rather not say

2) 7-10

3) i dont have one but would like one - i know when i get one despite me wanting one its gonna be really hard for me to open up because im not the best at being vulnerable and thats like the most vulnerable thing i can do - leave someone in charge of my inner child - i have 2 partners but i never like brought it up to them ya know like 1 is aware of what cgl is the other absolutely no idea & i dont wanna ruin our dynamic

4) build a bear workshop & mcdonalds - i love stuffies and wanna see how they’re made and be part of it itll be so sick & mcdonalds has the best chicken nuggets and fries fight me about it im right yeah they aren’t dino shaped but i can get over it they are the best AND i get a free toy and there’s no catch its great - another would be chuck-e-cheese i wanted to spend my birthday there again but haven’t had the money to i love games alot and maybe i can finally win something at the top of the prize wall even big me would want a chuck-e-cheese date okay i love games and pizza id always prefer chuck-e-cheese over dave and busters

5) i only have sippy cups & stuffed animals & toys - i would like more when i live in a bigger space i dont really need much because im a bigger boy but id like mostly food stuff like plates spoons i like the spoons with the plastic handles alot they have to be teaspoons cuz tablespoons are the devil they attack the senses in my mouth in a /neg way it’s awful who would do that to help regress maybe some of the handles spoons can be cute i dont want the bowl part plastic though thats also evil to me personally and i like the bath tablets that make the bath colors too and shower crayons i want those and blankets i love thoses and yeah i want more things when its safe

6) i dont know i dont think so i am into petplay tho does that count?

7) not that much different than big me i guess you can say even MORE childish than i already am (ik thats not the best word cuz they’re a child duh) i guess more baby like - like playful, bratty, causes problems on purpose im more quiet than big me but i also don’t have anyone i trust enough to talk to in that state so im mainly going based on my alters which i don’t say much

8) coloring because drawing frustrates me when it doesn’t go on the paper right

9) i don’t know that many 😿 i just met @adorableblindemo and they r real sweet

10) it depends - most times it’s voluntary but in really high stress situations i can regress usually then i tend to get mute like nonverbal i have select mutism and also other stuff its just scary

11) yeah thats what i would consider my voluntary is most of the time because i dont have a space that would allow me to even think about regressing fully

12) no

13) mac & cheese, cereal, chocolate milk/hot chocolate but if its hot chocolate it has to he more warm than hot because im a punk

14) love them adore then need to protect them

15) not really im usually rejected so i just don’t anymore i actively avoid it even

16) idk really i’ve never been called like pet names ive vibed with just nicknames

17) kids shows & having things in my mouth

18) no because i don’t really have a safe space so i always need to b on like high alert to switch back into big mode asap

19) its so hard to find like a side that i vibe with all i see is the stereotypical stuff (younger/baby regressers who r and super pastelly & like preferred not alternative baby things and have baby gear like diapers and pacis) i dont see that many middle regressiors or ones who like alternative pop culture things

20) i can’t find that many for fandoms im in but the ones i do i really do like i wanna make a masterpost one day mainly for myself cuz i wish i could find them easier its like i gotta dig for content

21) very - im real sensitive the air could blow the wrong way and im jumping

22) i mostly indulge in rpf so i don’t have anyone fictional per say just blorbos from bandom and select tv shows

23) no different than my room now really i wanna beanbag

24) ive never realky tried it before it looks fun but im kinda shy

25) i want my childhood/innocence back it was taken too soon i wanna nurture that side of me when things were simpler and protect it not have to think about how hard things are now and how i can’t really get help for it because i simply cant afford it

26) yes mainly my comfort artists (mainly mcr & waterparks atm)

27) no i don’t have a cg i tried making a chore chart that i printed from a blog on here but forgot about it a few weeks in

28) like i said in #7

29) ive been told i had the potential to be and i think so because when im big i do tend to be more protective, parental, nurturing and just overall alpha like

30) i dont know what to say rly but hey if you like the content i post lets be friends i’ll try not to bite

[punkscowardschampions]

Mafi First Convo

Fi: Official welcome committee duties dictate I send this, but be aware I would anyway

Mattie: Oh my, well, officially and unofficially, thank you!

Mattie: Tiresome as the committee sounds for you, I can assure you it is appreciated by me and I hope that helps somewhat 😊

Fi: with me at it’s head, absolutely not 😉 rest assured everyone is 🥳 myself included

Mattie: It is truly admirable you have any 🥳 left in you for first day back

Mattie: though perhaps I shouldn’t make too much of a thing about it, as a teacher who is thrilled to be here and so should ALL pupils, of course 😏

Fi: thrilled as I am to be admired, I’m also raring to go with this term in or out of the new teacher’s inbox 

Mattie: Ah yes, of course, just this year to go

Mattie: I remember that euphoria well

Fi: you can call it just yesterday without the horror of nobody around you keeping a remotely straight face, so few other staff members are getting away with such a thing

Mattie: Oh Lord, is there anything more 👩‍🦳 than how wistful I sounded there ?!!

Fi: No, don’t worry, it’s the ‘when I was your age’ sized baggage [her mother’s name, whether that’s mrs whatever or her actual, depending what the students call her because say you’ve got mummy issues without saying you’ve got mummy issues lol] is helping me carry into said school year, she should be feeling her age and I, apparently, should be acting it, in spite of mine not being [however old her mum is]

Mattie: I was… shall we say forewarned, that I had [likewise however we’re rolling which I imagine is Mrs surname because not claiming to know your mother any better than that yet]’s daughter in my form

Fi: 😆 I love when my reputation correctly precedes me, I’ve worked hard to cultivate it from age 11, what a waste if you heard wrong

Mattie: If anyone should know you, it would be your mother 😅

Fi: imagine if she was privy to the top-notch school goss! But we’ve gotta keep the 🍇 vine withered and dead or I can kiss goodbye to Head Girl 🤫🔒

Mattie: I’m certain it’s a case of what a mother/teacher doesn’t know, can’t hurt her, yes?

Fi: maybe but /teacher feels cruel in present company

Mattie: As you pointed out, it hasn’t been that many years for me, I know how these things work and I’d not ask you to deviate on my behalf, Head Girl or otherwise

Fi: you know how to play the game

Fi: you’ll fit in amazingly

Mattie: I hope I won’t be offending if I take that as a compliment and it was intended as a dig? My ego doesn’t feel entirely 🏹 but I’m sure those older teachers may see me as green

Mattie: but, speaking of fitting in, you can recall the new girl from form time in 5th form, Dolly?

Fi: I take archery too seriously to pick such an easy 🎯

Fi: would be what I would say, if I was making an intentional dig, miss

Fi: And yep, I make a point of introducing myself to all the new girls

Mattie: Your sporting prowess was another topic of conversation, of course

Mattie: and please, feel free to call me Mattie

Mattie: we’re practically on an even keel and honestly, I am at a deficit in comparison to your knowledge about this place

Mattie: hence I was wondering if you could show Dolly the ropes and keep a general eye on her? She’s quiet but easygoing… I don’t think it should be too taxing a job 🤞

Fi: the 🏆🥇🥈 filing the cabinet speak for themselves, thank god, what a boring conversation otherwise 🥱 I prefer a humbler brag if needs seriously must

Fi: no fear, Mattie, new girls of any age get mentored like the year 7s do, until they show us they’re old hats, it’s part of my role here

Mattie: Actions and wins speak for themselves, eh 

Mattie: I just know she has come here after a bit of a tough time so a friendly face if she needs any assistance will be greatly appreciated

Fi: my face is the friendliest 😁 but if I had any deficit, to borrow your vocab from you, my dog would pick up the slack

Mattie: Oh my Gosh, what’s his name? 🤭

Fi: Guess, you won’t be able to ever!

Mattie: This is when I expose myself for having lacking general knowledge and quizzing skills too, oh no!

Mattie: Does it match your name, the energy, origin…? 🤔

Fi: I’ll give you a single clue, he’s named for my love of history

Mattie: Ooh, well he’s surely much too big to be a Napoleon

Mattie: I can’t claim a comprehensive knowledge of his love life but Henry doesn’t feel right either… What about a… Winston?

Fi: nope, you’re thinking too contemporary

Mattie: Caesar?

Mattie: And I will only do one more guess before I give up, to be a good sport!

Fi: 🥶

Mattie: 😨

Mattie: Umm, Aristotle? I know it isn’t but a good guess is truly alluding me

Fi: you were closest with Henry, or should I say his love life

Mattie: Not me misgendering this poor creature too! 😣

Fi: 😅 not at all, that you got right

Mattie: Is he a poet, perhaps a playwright?

Fi: I’ll help you, he’s named for the pet of a historical figure

Mattie: Gosh, please tell me you plan to study history next year, I couldn’t bear for this knowledge to go to waste

Fi: If they’ll have me

Mattie: This feels like an education in itself, I will definitely be looking up historical figures and their pets later

Mattie: currently, it would be cheating

Fi: good thinking, you do some homework and get back to me, miss

Mattie: You have to set a hand-in date, Fi

Fi: by the end of the day, I don’t have the patience for a longer deadline than that, neither does my dog, who you’re bound to hear somebody calling if I leave it and leave it

Mattie: True, I shall see what I can do, given it will only be a one-word answer, that seems like a fair deadline

Fi: no help from your brand new colleagues, [the history teacher] in particular, I’ll know 

Mattie: I would never

Mattie: It would be the hollowest of victories

Fi: I’d be most upset at having to deny you 🏆🥇 on your first day here, it’s too unsporting

Mattie: They’ll never have me on any team if I prove to be such a cheat, you’re adhering to the rules to a T 🏆🥇👱🏻‍♀️

Fi: What clubs are you signed up for?

Mattie: I’m definitely going to help out with Drama, myself and miss [the drama teacher] did our training together so whenever she needs a spare stagehand

Mattie: Apparently the running club would benefit from a member of staff too and I’m a keen runner so that’s another one for the list but I am open to your suggestions or any hot goss on that front

Mattie: the list is endless!

Fi: I’ll see you at 🏃🏼‍♀️ without having to cheat, but I’ve only been allowed in one play, my first and last, which to a newbie could be classed as hot goss I suppose

Fi: who knew it’s the worst form and frowned upon to close a trap door on your scene partner rather than continue? Not me

Mattie: I mean, I do consider that quite titillating information

Mattie: working trap doors mixed with teenagers is perhaps an oversight on the school’s behalf 

Fi: in my humble opinion I saved the play, and de-escalated what would have otherwise become a real life sword fight, but opinions differ 

Mattie: As [this drama teacher] is also a newbie, I’m sure she’d have no qualms in letting you take another, figurative, stab at it, if you wanted

Mattie: but it’ll be good to hit the track with you

Fi: to level with you, I was only interested in the ⚔️ this was my pre-fencing days

Fi: have you ever tried fencing? I’m obsessed

Mattie: I haven’t but I would love to!

Mattie: I was a ballet girl, in my youth, that took up almost all my energy and focus in terms of sport

Fi: ballet was fun too, my father used to take me, that was pre-divorce days

Mattie: At the risk of sounding like a 👩‍🦳 again, your energy must be boundless

Fi: I’ve been tested, but whatever my deficits, they aren’t officially in attention or called a disorder

Mattie: I didn’t think that, and even if they were, it seems like you make the most out of all the gifts you’ve been given

Mattie: You’d get on well with my older sister, she’s super sporty, HATED ballet though

Fi: he wanted a daughter who was 😊🩰🎀 but I don’t like to box myself in

Mattie: Sensible, no one thrives in a box

Mattie: which is very much the same reason my sister was put into ballet, that was pre-divorce too

Fi: it makes sense, as much as it can, with already having a son pre-marriage, parents are stereotypically fixed in their wants

Mattie: I think all parents have expectations

Mattie: it’s no child’s obligation to meet them all, if that is even possible

Mattie: but I try to have sympathy for a parent when things go entirely the opposite way to their imaginings 

Mattie: not to say I’m talking about you there, gosh, please do not think that

Fi: hilarious if she’s opened up to you about me that much on your first day, also alarming, I’d be forced to check her water bottle hasn’t been spiked

Mattie: That was wholly unprofessional of me 😶 I was truly thinking about my sister but that isn’t much better of me, sorry

Fi: I’m joking, she’d never be unprofessional, it’s all she cares about, you’ll be pushing it to get a ‘how was your evening?’

Fi: but your poor sister, no wonder it’s on your mind

Mattie: Oh she’s fine now, honest

Mattie: but we’ve all had our own boxes to fight against, I think

Fi: you said she’s older, is she the oldest?

Fi: as Allegra’s oldest, I relate to how small the box often feels 

Mattie: She is, yes

Mattie: I have heard that, especially for eldest girls

Fi: it does feel like you can’t win

Mattie: You give her so much to be proud of, surely

Fi: I give her a headache, above all

Mattie: She has a stressful job, I bet the other girls in her charge also have a lot to do with it

Fi: You’re gonna be an excellent form teacher for all the girls they’ve given you

Mattie: I really hope so, I will try to be

Mattie: it’s sweet of you to say

Fi: you’re sweet, and a good listener, like my fave bartender

Fi: not that I have one of those while it’s still technically illegal 😶

Mattie: 🙉 currently, though

Mattie: it would be awful form to have to tell you off right now, I *think* what you do outside of school hours is technically your business but I’d have to add that re-read of the rules to my homework pile

Fi: I think you should give me a practise telling off, being too sweet in your classes might cause you your own headache

Mattie: You’d die laughing

Mattie: if I’m 😁 they’ll all want to behave and do their work… right ?!! 😅

Fi: not to your face

Fi: play along, Mattie, be a sport

Mattie: 😬 Gah, alright then, tell me again and I’ll respond in the textbook stern fashion

Fi: [tell her a story she did not ask for about your antics at your fave bar, being scandalous so she’ll ‘tell you off’ haha]

Mattie: … What gave you the impression that was a suitable story to tell?

Fi: I knew it wasn’t which is why I told it

Mattie: No one here is impressed, in fact, I have a headache about the paperwork already

Mattie: not only have you ensured a stop is put to your own ‘good time’ but I have to take appropriate measures to make sure you’re suitably punished, at the expense of my own free time

Fi: amazing

Mattie: 💐 are acceptable or 👏 at a pinch

Mattie: I don’t think they would have passed me if I couldn’t fake it

Fi: what flowers do you like? school grounds will limit my 💐 making but if you promise not to tell me off I’ll go further afield as needed

Mattie: I do adore sweet peas 

Mattie: and I did spy some on the grounds

Fi: oh miss, you really wanna keep me caged, you are well trained

Mattie: I don’t know if we go with the word ‘caged’

Mattie: keeping you here between the hours of [a school day] is at least partially what they’re paying me for, I grant you

Fi: Where did you study? I remember you telling us when you were here on placement but I’ve forgotten the specifics, it’s local, London, but otherwise I’m lost and I’d have to use a fair few guesses

Mattie: Greenwich, my dad went there and loved it, it’s also not too far from home, which I still needed at that time

Fi: you probably don’t know how it’s ranked for history, do you?

Fi: I’m not sure where to go

Mattie: I don’t think it ranks highly, it’s not a prestigious Uni, in particular 

Mattie: Are you thinking you want to stay local or go further afield?

Fi: as usual I’m torn, my dad would like me local to him in [whatever foreign country he lives in] but I’d like to stay here, or closer than that, anyway

Mattie: That is a tough decision, a real grass is always greener conundrum too, potentially

Mattie: I know people who stayed home and wish they hadn’t and people who found being too far very difficult and regretted it

Mattie: You still have ‘til [the UCAS deadline] thank goodness, I used every day I had to make my choices 😅

Fi: time to pick sweet peas and count the petals to make a decision without sacrificing your entire bouquet supply to my ??!

Mattie: I should allow it but I’d be a little gutted 🤏

Mattie: I’d smell the indecision in the air with every petal

Fi: I can’t allow it, upsetting teachers is only fun when it’s [and list the ones who you don’t like/don’t like you]

Mattie: That isn’t a list I want to join, must be said

Mattie: not just because I’ve been told of the archery and fencing skills, as well as the trapdoor incident 

Fi: please don’t, I had the worst form tutor in [pick a year, it doesn’t matter] 

Mattie: I think we’ll get along just fine

Mattie: as one of my 6th and Head Girl to boot, we’re a team more than I’m an adversary

Fi: I get the feeling you wouldn’t make me cry, unlike she who must not be named, because she still works here

Mattie: That’s awful, I’m so sorry

Fi: I don’t do that anymore, she killed the urge after a solid fortnight

Mattie: Did you speak to anyone else, like another member of staff, I mean?

Fi: I tried but she thought I was being overdramatic, I don’t know if she didn’t believe I was actually crying or just didn’t believe why warranted it

Mattie: That shouldn’t have been allowed to stand, whether someone else feels the situation requires any level of upset is so irrelevant, you were and feelings are meant to be respected for what they are, not forced into rationality

Fi: I warned the other girls about her, it’s my yearly crusade

Fi: hopefully it’s established lore by the time I leave

Mattie: it’s very apparent, how much you truly care about the others

Mattie: I see why you made Head Girl

Fi: We have to look out for each other, particularly if some of the people whose job it is aren’t going to do it

Mattie: It’s one of the things I admired about this place, the genuine closeness

Fi: it is genuine, not in a ‘run, Mattie, you’ve joined a cult’ way, I promise

Mattie: 😌 a lot of these kids need that second family, that belonging and support

Mattie: I’m looking forward to being part of it, however small

Fi: I’ll miss being part of it

Mattie: I bet, it’s been an even bigger part of your life than most

Fi: I’d come back and teach here but Allegra and I might kill each other

Mattie: You’d make an excellent teacher

Fi: I know, but she’d snap at having to be professional towards me

Mattie: There are lots of schools and lots of opportunities for you both, see what the future brings, Fi

Fi: you didn’t go to boarding school, did you?

Mattie: No, I didn’t

Fi: thank god, I pride myself on being able to tell and I’m yet to be wrong, you could’ve ruined my streak, Mattie

Mattie: 😮‍💨 collective sigh of that that didn’t happen

Mattie: I do want to know what the tells are, however

Fi: see if you can figure them out based on the list I’m about to give you of have and have nots

Fi: [drop that list, all the tea and shade lol]

Mattie: I can tell you’ve been here for the duration

Mattie: comprehensive and accurate on all counts 🤭

Fi: it’s like those relatives you don’t see often but when you do they hardcore overstay and share and you find out more than you bargained, is the closest comparison to coin for my insider knowledge

Fi: but you’re welcome to practise grade me

Mattie: I *could*

Mattie: but I don’t know if I qualify as the expert for the flip side of this school experience coin

Fi: this could be your first and last opportunity, not teaching me, to award me a [the equivalent of an A cos grades are different now and idk], live a little 

Mattie: If my 6th formers aren’t getting [the equivalent of A and A*s] then I’ve not done my job well enough, obviously 😏

Mattie: I can’t hand them out like 🍬 or ⭐️ but you’re certainly working towards

Fi: I won’t tell your 6th formers anything 🤫🔒

Mattie: A box of for a 💐 is standard payment, what’s your favourite?

Fi: if you hand me a box of ⭐️ nowhere and no one in school is safe

Fi: 🍬? [why has my mind gone blank on every chocolate or sweet that exists, I will come back and put one when I think lol]

Mattie: No amount of 🤫🔒 will stop that sticker outbreak from getting back to my endless supply of ⭐️!

Mattie: I’ve had an idea though, I’ll surprise you

Fi: cool, I’m looking forward to seeing if you can

Mattie: As subpar as my detective skills have proved, I’d be surprised myself if yours were that keen

Fi: but what if they are? 

Fi: we’ll soon run out of surprises for each other

Mattie: Wait and see ✨

Mattie: If I surprise you this time, then my track record stands us in good stead 

Fi: an exciting prospect for any teacher to have a top-notch track record

Fi: it’ll be great fun having you here

Mattie: Thanks, I’m hoping so too

Mattie: I had a lot of fun on my placement, hence the return

Fi: I did my fair share of welcome wagon-ing that first day too, it’d be hard to live down if I scared you off with it, my own track record would be at stake

Mattie: You’re not scary, not a challenge to prove me wrong 😅

Mattie: there’s absolutely nothing wrong in knowing how to have fun, I’d count it in your favour

Fi: which is why you’ll get surprises and [teachers we love to shade] shan’t! 

Mattie: 🥳🥳

Mattie: I am in this job for the surprises, honestly

Fi: oh how easily I could make those words your famous last if I wasn’t bound by my honour as Head Girl

Mattie: heavy is the head atop the blazer with the special badge 🤷‍♀️

Fi: you would think you’d joined a cult if I stole your flowers to fashion into a crown

Mattie: My love for a flower crown would get me into that kind of mess… I used to steal my poor neighbour's flowers from her hanging baskets 😱

Fi: We’d get along so famously, I have so many childhood anecdotes about getting in trouble, and having, shall we say, niche interests I’d go above and beyond for 😄

Fi: when my friends were in their disney princess era, I named all of my fave toys for Henry VIII’s wives and reenacted their grizzly fates accordingly

Fi: on another occasion I insisted we turned the garden into a plague pit and they all lie there, in what was essentially a child labour dug mass grave, until I was bored of the game

Mattie: You can’t beat the storylines Henry gave us, rivals any disney film by a longshot, as well as the [kardashians of this era]

Mattie: That’s amazing though, history in action, I loved dragging my family around many a palace or castle to play at princess warrior knight

Fi: Allegra and her husband would have been delighted to drag and lock me into a castle when they found my baby brother wrapped up like a mummy and me in the midst of trying to stick a spoon and straw up his nose 😆

Mattie: 😲🤭 two pairs of eyes is not enough to watch little kids, I have no idea how anyone has their own or works with them

Fi: it’s a miracle he survived my curiosity into childhood, poor thing

Mattie: I saw him running off to his school this AM, he seems robust, a big sister will do that to you

Fi: I have to try, his parents will baby him horribly if left to their own devices

Mattie: I think when there’s a gap like that, that can be the impulse sometimes

Fi: and he is their pre-menopause miracle, I guess

Fi: but I didn’t say that because it’s not kind to discuss 👩‍🦳 

Mattie: 🤐 from me

Fi: personally, if I had an on tap excuse to hand out for why I was being a grump to everyone I’d shout about it, but maybe that’s just me

Mattie: I suppose if you can’t help but be a grump and you’d really like not to be, it’s a bit sensitive 

Fi: would she like not to be? is that your true first impression?

Mattie: I can’t imagine a world where anyone wants to be anything other than happy, really

Mattie: some people just struggle

Fi: I like the sound of your imagination

Mattie: I know it’s naive but I have to believe that 

Mattie: or there’s no hope for certain people

Fi: sometimes I feel jaded, I’d rather naive if there’s an option

Mattie: there’s a whole 🌈 out there

Mattie: isn’t jaded just another box?

Fi: a box made of jade, perhaps, one for the dressing table

Mattie: You don’t strike me as ornamental

Fi: ouch, I don’t think I’ve ever been called ugly in such a pretty way

Mattie: That is not what I meant!

Mattie: I meant you’re not going to just sit on any shelf to be admired, it was very much a compliment of your character

Fi: okay, we can avoid two form tutors making me cry

Mattie: I would never say such a thing and you’d do well to never believe it from anyone, such a clear falsehood

Fi: I’ll do my best not to give in to the teenage urge while I still am one, it wouldn’t set the right example to the younger girls

Mattie: That’s the spirit 🌷🐇🧁💙

Fi: You pull me in different directions, on the one hand I wish you had been here to teach for my more formative years, but on the other you should’ve been here for yours as a pupil

Mattie: I would have loved it here, I wanted constant sleepovers, always having my friends with me, boarding, in that sense, would be ideal

Mattie: I dread to think the bad influence I would have been on poor 11-year-old you, being, what, 15, 16 myself?

Fi: I’d still have been the bad influence, I think we both know that

Mattie: 😋

Mattie: How rude of you to doubt my bad girl era

Fi: I have to doubt the unknown, a little

Mattie: There is such thing as a healthy dose of scepticism, true

Fi: and if I dwell on your bad girl era I’ll have to know everything, which goes against my self made promise not to get you into trouble quite yet

Mattie: My lips are sealed 🤐 

Fi: it’s hard work being good, I may be on the wrong track imagining I can make a career out of it too

Mattie: The nunnery or the law?

Mattie: but tell me about it, I’m keenly aware there are [however many girls are in this house, I’m sure it’s not exactly 50 every time but around that] of you that I have to keep on a good path, somehow

Fi: I’ll help you, nobody has demanded it has to be an entirely boring straight and narrow all the time

Mattie: And there’s the rest of the staff too, it isn’t solely on my shoulders to be 😇

Mattie: I don’t think anyone truly connects with that but maybe connection isn’t as important as I think it is in this role

Fi: trust yourself, connection is very important

Mattie: seeing your teacher is just as human as you, with their own life outside of the lessons too, surely that would lead you to want to see learning as collaborative, rather than me reeling off facts from a PowerPoint

Mattie: and hopefully, anyone with a problem would be more inclined to reach out if they know I’ve not got the room to be a judgmental cow about it 

Mattie: that’s just my soapbox, though

Fi: it’s a box we can make an exception for

Mattie: And your surprise, I hope

Fi: I’d almost forgotten my surprise is a real thing you’re organising, as something else not to dwell on because it’s too exciting

Mattie: ⏲

Mattie: Are you studying in a friend’s dormie, where would you like me to leave said surprise? 

Fi: [drop the deets because I’m sure you are]

Fi: yours will be in your room

Fi: [letting you know here and now that she’s obvs left the flowers looking cute af in some bottle or jar but also she will have drawn this gal a map, that unlike the functional one Lulu drew for her first day begrudgingly to help her get around, is a literal work of art and not actually functional, like those old ones with insane scale and pics of sea monsters and mermaids like we want but of parts of this school as different countries, you know the vibe, it’ll definitely take her ages to do] 

Mattie: [I LOVE everything about that boo, she will be obsessed, don’t mind us, being very gay from the off here]

Fi: [nothing platonic about the amount of work you’ve shamelessly put into drawing that to balance out how quickly you picked the flowers and the fact they weren’t a surprise]

Mattie: [there isn’t anything platonic about any of this, I’m sorry, like will we bake for other gals, of course, but did we rush to do it on our first day and get magic stars to make it an in-joke? No hun]

Fi: [which is why I already love y’all and cannot wait for you to see each other at this engagement party, lord knows the happy couple are too dry to be having any fun]

Mattie: [and there isn’t a power dynamic because she isn’t her teacher and there’s barely an age gap, soz haters, fight with the wall, jemily does as they please]

Fi: [they are similar to Java in that way which I love because they are your parents, soz that you’re literally encouraged to be besties with your form tutor and confide in them about shit, which is all y’all are doing til she leaves]

Mattie: [also in this particular scenario, Mattie is the newbie, Fi has the experience and the power behind her, she could get Mattie fired if she wanted, it isn’t all age]

Fi: [agreed, oh the many places we could bebop to, do you wanna keep doing school or skip, what are you feeling gal?]

Mattie: [I think it might be fun to skip to engagement, as long as we’re both firm on the vibe of this school year, there’s no reason we can’t… we may come back and commit ourselves to stuff in said year later but as a first write and toe dip, I wouldn’t mind]

Fi: [I’m down too, as Winnie had the idea and it’s fresh in our minds + lowkey the era we properly wanna set y’all I think we can, we love to hop around with everybody so we can always come back at any point but I think this first day sets the vibe and tone of how y’all were during school well enough we both know what’s up]

Mattie: [agreed girly pops, I will post this so we can re-read the first convo separately later if we wanna]

Fi: [good thinking, me like it’s not very long and then remembering it’s literally set over a school day so it is pretty long actually lol]

Mattie: [like we could say our thank yous for the respective gifts here too but might die from how gay it is lmao]

Fi: [my boo says we gotta pace ourselves haha, I’m sure this bitch will say it in person when she sees her next like the AM after anyway so, purely to be more extra about it]

Mattie: [me like thank the lord Lulu is not in your form, be trying to poison your next batch casually]

Fi: [we did you a real favour there ladies, you don’t even know]

Mattie: [her at this engagement ignoring Gabe on all counts, very funny]

Fi: [again y’all are welcome Sekhmet is there being the most distracting or Fi you’d be in danger, girl]

Mattie: [it’ll keep her off your trail whilst we need her to be aka so Mattie doesn’t choke immediately and can’t go through with it]

Fi: [we’ve been smart, have you got an outfit already done from before? Cos maybe you could post one of these hoes together now, but anyway I’ll shh and let you post this]

[survey--s]

473.

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? To stop the cats getting upstairs.

Stripes or polka dots? It depends on the overall outfit - I probably own more stripey stuff though.

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? Yeah, I’m not a fan unless you’re family or someone I know well. There’s just absolutely no need for strangers to touch me.

What is your gender? Female.

Do you think that people think its obvious? Yeah.

How long did your first date last? Maybe three hours. We went to McDonald’s and the cinema lol.

Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? I’m sure there’s something purple somewhere in this room, yeah.

Highlight of your day? Getting a lie-in, not having to rush about or go to work or do anything important.

Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? Overall, a plane, but I’d love to try one of those superyachts with a pool and hot tub and private chef lol.

Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? Yeah.

Can you cook? I can cook, but it’s not something I enjoy doing so I generally avoid it where possible.

How high is your ceiling? I would guess around 8ft.

What’s the worst job you can think of? I couldn’t do anything that involves bad smells.

Do you swear a lot? Not “a lot” but it is part of my daily vocab.

Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? No.

Is everything working in your house? We need a new TV and washing machine - but not desperately enough that we’re going to spend money buying new ones lol.

Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? A pool, but I don’t think we’d really use either that much. Does pop give you energy? If it’s caffeinated, yeah.

TV show you love with a passion? I wouldn’t say I was passionate about any TV shwos really. Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? I don’t think I have one specific night that stands out as being appalling.

Perfect age to get married? Whenever you want to get married.

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? I probably do, yeah.

Name a career path that women are known for taking.  Nursing, kindergarten teacher.

Favorite type of cookie? Soft chocolate chip cookies.

A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? A good sense of humour.

What would I find if I looked in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets.

What was your first word? I have no idea, you’d have to ask my mum.

A musical instrument you wouldn’t mind learning how to play? I always wanted to learn clarinet.

Last time you went to 7-eleven? Whenever I was last in Tasmania - we don’t have it over here.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? Burger King always makes me sick, which is a shame as I actually like the taste of their food.

Does everyone in your family have a job? My parents are both retired.

Going anywhere this weekend? Nope, this is my weekend off and I plan on doing as little as humanly possible lol.

Is your room ever clean? My side is always neat and clean, Mike’s is not lol.

What does it mean when you’re being quiet? Nothing in particular, I’m not the most talkative person.

Last person you had a face to face conversation with? Mike.

Where’s your phone? On the sofa to my right.

Do you know the difference between your and you’re? Of course.

How late did you stay up last night? I went to sleep around 11pm and slept for about nine straight hours lol. I fell asleep on Reddit before that.

Anyone you’re ready to kill? Nah, I’m good.

Do you need to get a tan? Well, nobody “needs” a tan.

What do you want? A winning lottery ticket.

Favorite TV show as a kid? My Parents Are Aliens, Arthur, The Smurfs, Playdays, Tots TV, Rosie & Jim.

What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? There aren’t any.

How many times have you been in love? Three times.

Go camping or go to a party? Camping, but I have to say that neither really appeals to me lol.

Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? Maybe around 8-9 years old. I remember getting told off for saying fuck at school around that age lol.

How many years older than you would you date someone? Mike is nearly five years older than me but I think once you reach proper adulthood it doesn’t really make as much difference. What was the last thing you pinky swore on? Who knows lol.

Would you consider yourself a nice person? Hmmm, yes, for the most part - but I’m not a pushover either and don’t let people take advantage.

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? No, maybe three or four.

Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? I mean, I hope not lol. Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? Nope.

True or false: Glee is annoying. I’ve never seen it.

Last thing you cooked? I had crumpets for breakfast, does that count? lol. I don’t really cook.

Do you use slang often? No.

Wear glasses? Yeah, I’ve worn glasses since I was seven. About how old was the last person that hit on you? Uh, aside from my husband, I honestly couldn’t tell you.

What color are your headphones? My earphones are white.

Would you make a good teacher? Why? I could do kindergarten, but I wouldn’t want to teach older children.

Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard? I don’t watch live TV anymore.

Is the fan on? No.

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? It’s just one I haven’t done before and it was the first one on my newsfeed.

What does the last text message you sent say? I honestly don’t remember - I haven’t text anyone today.

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? Sure, but I don’t understand why they couldn’t get one themselves?

Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? No. 

What color are your underwear? Black.

How short are your nails? Very - I cut them the other day. 

Favorite holiday? Christmas or Easter as they both mean a decent amount of time off work.

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? Nope.

You’re locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? Yeah, it would really freak me out, I’m not gonna lie.

Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? No.

Do you eat a lot of food? Yeah, I love my food lol.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Sure, quite a few times.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? Yeah, for the most part.

How many people do you text daily? There isn’t anyone that I text absolutely every single day.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? I can play piano and a bit of guitar and recorder, but I don’t play any anymore.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? No.

What did you do on your last birthday? I had a couple of cat visits to do and we ordered takeaway for dinner. It snowed on my birthday this year so we didn’t do much.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most?  Sloth.

What is your least favorite subject in school? Maths and Chemistry. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? Nope.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? Ew, no.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? A few days ago.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? A few days ago.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? One. I’m going to get lunch after this survey though.

Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” Why would that be stupid?

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? Yeah, I love Wikipedia.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? No, we don’t have that company here.

Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? I mean, it depends on the scenario.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? Lion King.

[suckitsurveys]

Which season is your part of the world currently experiencing? Winter.

Do you ever read your texts and forget to respond to them? Sometimes I do that. I’m usually really good about responding in a timely manner but sometimes I’m in the middle of something and just forget. What was a show that you enjoyed watching a kid when you were home sick? I remember watching talk shows and home reno shows with my mom. And cartoons if there were any on.

When’s the last time you traveled out of state/province? Where to? Back in August we went to Wisconsin.

Does anything on your body cause you chronic pain? Any chronic illnesses? Everything all the time always.

What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? my dad’s cornbread and sausage stuffing.

Would you prefer cake or pie as a birthday treat? I love a cheesecake or a pumpkin pie for my birthday, but I wouldn’t mind a cake either.

Have you ever been in a band with your friends (not the class) Nope.

What is something annoying about the person you like/love? I don’t find him annoying.

At what age did you get your first period/have your first wet dream? How are these comparable? Literally fuck off with that shit.

What is something that makes you feel old? Oh so many things.

Do you remember where you were on 9/11/2001? Yes, I was in school in 7th grade. My dumbass math teacher kept saying a bomb went off in New York. Then an hour or so later they sent us all home. Do you think that snow days won’t exist now that we have virtual learning? No, they still existed when we did have virtual learning from what I remember. Whose wedding did you last attend? My own in 2017.

How often do you change/wash your bedding? Monthly.

Do you have much of a sweet tooth? Yeah. Have you ever had to call 9-1-1 for someone else? Yes. What do you dip your French fries in? It depends on the fry. Usually nothing if they are crispy enough.

What’s the last book you started reading but couldn’t finish? Story of my god damn life. If I wrote a book about my life it would stop midway through.

When’s the last time you experienced a panic attack? Over what? Over some shit with my sister I don’t wanna get into.

– (I guess this is another survey?)

Have you ever used anything unusual to masturbate with before? If so, what? Yeah, the handle of a hairbrush.

What’s your favorite sports ball? Uh. Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Uh huh.

How long do you think you could tread water for? I don’t know, probably a bit.

Have you ever been the victim of a hate crime? No.

What would you rather be doing, other than this survey? I really want to go into the middle of a state park and just lay there and appreciate nature for like an hour honestly.

Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? I’ve sunk winning pool shots before lol.

Would you be interested in creating a street mural? Sure, I’d participate, as I’m not a great artist on my own.

Have you ever participated in LARP'ing? No.

Have you ever gotten a divorce? No.

How young do you feel is too young to get married? This depends on the people/age difference.

At what age would you let your child start picking out their own clothes? I’m not having kids.

What is one thing that you would never pick up from the supermarket? Uh. I can’t think of anything?

What’s the last food that you prepared for yourself? My lunch for today..

What’s your favorite type of cheese? Goat or Bleu. 

Do you prefer “regular kissing” or French kissing? Regular kisses.

Did you used to bite others as a child? No.

Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? Neither anymore.

What is something you fail at, no matter how hard you try? Reading books. I try SO hard but I just can’t fucking shake the trauma of doing that shit in high school/college.