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lizzybeeee · 2 days ago
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DATV Spoilers - The Story We Lost
Posted earlier that I was compiling a list of lore/story threads that have been dropped with DATV's handling of Southern Thedas. The sheer number of things means that I've made this into two parts - this one focusing on all the story threads that have been effectively dropped.
Spoilers for the game ahead, of course.
If you've played the game then you'll know that Southern Thedas - everything from the past three games - was basically swept away by the blight.
A double blight should have catastrophic consequences for the entirety of Thedas, I don’t deny that, it’s nothing short of a mass extinction event – the absolute worst case scenario for all of Thedas.
However, waving away the fact that Southern Thedas - specifically every area you ever traveled to and interacted with in previous games – is gone, devastated by the blight, in a codex entry and line of dialogue makes it abundantly clear that BioWare is attempting to clean the slate so that they can move forwards with the game series with no ties to the previous ones.
The Warden, Hawke, and the Inquisitor effectively accomplished nothing.
As I put it in another post: I never expected them to consider every decision in game outside of the three options they gave us, but I certainly didn’t expect them to go scorched earth on the possibility of ever seeing the results of those decisions either.
How the lore has been handled in this game, summarized to “the elves did it” and “there’s been a shadowy organization in the shadows pulling the strings on everything” is absolutely devastating to the franchise.
The lack of care with which this was treated just bleeds, “There, we’ve answered all questions and finished with this era of Thedas. Moving on now.” At the same time, this destruction absolutely obliterated whatever story threads remained from the first three games.
Could BioWare bring these threads back? Yes, I suppose. But it doesn't change that it was so carelessly thrown aside in the first place.
If they didn't want people to care about their decisions and the impact they made on the world, perhaps they shouldn't have made that a feature of all the previous games.
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Story Threads/ Plot Points that were dropped:
Limited my points to what was in the Dragon Age Keep and what points were brought up frequently in codex entries, conversations, etc...
Edit: I never expected all of these points to be answered in DATV - this is just a list of what was effectively brushed to the side through very bad handling of lore and story.
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Dragon Age: Origins
What is the line of succession in Ferelden?
Things are looking very grim for Ferelden's succession and the Theirin/MacTir line if nothing is done. And nothing was done. The entire plot of DAO literally culminated in resolving this issue, yet no one seems to have learnt a thing from it?
- Anora ruling alone is unmarried with no heir - Alistair ruling alone is unmarried with no heir - Ruling together they have no heir - Alistair and a Cousland Queen have no heir - Anora and a Cousland King-Consort have no heir
The only potential candidate that can fit into several of those world states is Kieran.
Fergus Cousland, according to lore, is the second closest to the throne that is confirmed to be alive in DAI - potentially the brother in-law to the King/Queen of Ferelden.
Ferelden's succession with Alistair as King hinges on whether or not the Warden was able to cure the blight. Alternatively, it is hinted that he may be more resistant since he has dragon blood in him from Calenhad.
The potential implications of Kieran being the bastard son of the King of Ferelden.
Kieran being used as a political pawn to depose Anora using the Theirin bloodline.
DAI took away whatever destiny Kieran had with the Old God soul – that didn’t mean that BioWare had to take away everything else too. Regardless, it doesn't matter. Outside of Redcliffe, the rest of the land has fallen to the Blight - it's unlikely that any of this will ever be brought up again.
2. Did the Warden find a cure?
Unknown. Irrelevant.
Ferelden ended up blighted. Denerim fell. If Ferelden rises from the ashes, it will be without any sign of their influence. Any mention of them will likely be their title alone - no mention of their accomplishments.
3. General Questions about the Landsmeet
What happened to Anora if Alistair is named King? Who rules the teyrnir of Gwaren following the blight?
What happens to Alistair if he's exiled? We know Teagan finds him in DA2 but what happens after?
If Leliana becomes divine does that mean that Connor Guerrin is potentially an heir to Redcliffe?
4. Companion Plot Threads
Morrigan's sisters - the many daughters of Flemeth.
Shale's quest to reverse the process of becoming a golem.
Whatever the hell Nathaniel Howe was going on about when you run into him in DA2 in the blighted thaig.
What, if anything, Avernus leaned from spending a literal age or two studying blighted blood.
5. Zevran's Crusade against the Crows
RIP Zevran's one-man crusade against the Crows and their child slavery ring.
DATV messed up immensely by portraying the Crows as more of a ‘found family’ rather than the horrifically abusive organization it was set up to be.
The very same organization that preys on the weak and disenfranchised - honing them to be tools for the nobles/powerful of Thedas - are now the heroic freedom fighters of Antiva.
The literal decade he spent hunting down the Crows and their leaders is up in flames. No mention in DATV whatsoever.
Wasted a perfectly good opportunity to have a schism in the Crows, with Zevran at the helm of kicking out the antaam, taking in Crows who are are sick of what's happening.
6. The Dwarves of Orzammar
The impact of Bhelen/Harrowmont's reign - ruthless progression verses strict traditionalism
The rumours of an uprising of the casteless dwarves in DAI
Will we ever hear of noble House Brosca or Queen/Lady Rica? Nope.
Will we ever hear of the son that Aeducan can have with Mardy? Nope. (RIP Duncan Jnr - I still love you)
The Anvil of the Void and potential links it may have to the Titans.
No more fine goods direct from Orzammar
The entire caste system has been simplified by Harding in DATV to effectively be: 'surface dwarves' and 'deep roads' dwarves.
7. The Magisters Sidereal / Awakened Darkspawn
According to a codex in the Descent: one went mad, consumed another, and the final magister fled into the Deep Roads.
Corypheous + Codex Magister + the Architect (most likely) = 4/5 magisters remaining? Possibly?
Reminder that it's hinted that there's an eighth Old God that was struck from the records of Tevinter.
The Architect and his Awakened Darkspawn.
No, it was all the elves. They're all dead now anyway. Thanks BioWare.
8. The Guardian and the Urn of Sacred Ashes
"Where did you come from, where did you go? Nobody in Thedas will ever knowwwww."
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Dragon Age 2
Dragon Age 2 was pretty self-contained, with most things being tied up in Trespasser or DAI. The worst of the plot points abandoned relate to the companions in the game and the lack of closure/answers about them.
General Questions:
Kirkwalls, apparently, endless line of 'provisional' viscounts and constant political instability since Varric ran off to go after Solas.
According to DA: Absolution the Red Templars are still in Kirkwall...yet the show is set after Trespasser - when Varric is viscount? When he mentions that they threw a parade when getting Meredith out of the Gallows?
Aveline, Varric, Merrill and whoever remains of the Kirkwall crew apparently just allowing red templars take over the Gallows?
What happened to Petrice if she lived?
What happened to Feynriel if he went to Tevinter?
If Hawke lives following DAI - where are they?
I have a whole list of lore that's also been brushed over: the Sundermount, Corypheous, the Band of Three etc... I decided to put them in Part 2 since I feel they fit in more with 'lore obliterated' rather than 'abandoned plot points'.
2. Companions
Merrill's Eluvian:
Merrill spent years fixing an eluvian with a piece of string, a potato, and some gum - managing to actually do it.
And it meant nothing.
Eluvians are now a fast travel hub - all mysticism and awe at this marvel of magic are completely gone. Whatever sacrifices Merrill went through to save her sliver of elven history is meaningless.
Imagine if Merrill's eluvian aided in the fight against Solas - if having it intact gave you an advantage against him. Imagine Merrill weeping as Bellara fixes every other single eluvian in ten seconds with her magical omnitool.
Fenris and Slavery in Tevinter:
DATV utterly trivializing slavery in Tevinter is abominable.
Disregarding everything Fenris went through, everything he ever thought for, and making it something barely touched upon in DATV is insanity.
You wouldn't know there was slavery in Tevinter if the Shadow Dragons didn't drop a line or two about it. Limiting the conflict to "oops the venatori are being mean again" is absurd.
Fenris' entire story of going to help free the slaves is diminished because no one wanted to show the ugly, dark side of Tevinter in DATV.
DATV has retroactively made this choice for him to be so unfulfilling.
Where is Anders?
What happened with Sebastian's crusade against Anders? Was he ever captured? Was he executed? Are you telling me that no templars ever pursued this man fanatically after what happened in Kirkwall?
Does his fate vary if Hawke was friends/romanced him?
Varric appointing a new Viscount’s Keep healer called ‘Banders’ who just happens to sleep in the same room as Hawke and their children call him ‘daddy’ lmao
Does his fate vary according to who is Divine? Vivienne hunts him down, Cassandra puts him on trial, while Leliana pardons him?
How does he react to Leliana abolishing the Circles? How much does he weep when the rebellion fails and the mages are destroyed? This man instigated the starting event for DAI and drove most of DA2's major plot and he's just...gone.
The Hawke Siblings:
From DAI we know that Warden Bethany/Carver are safe, but what happened to them if they're in the Circle?
Give us Knight-Commander Carver and First Enchanter Bethany Hawke, you cowards! Have them dismantle the Gallows and be the shining examples of human decency we know they are.
What happens to them after DAI and the Mage/Templar War is concluded? In a world that can embrace or reject them - how do they find their place?
Varric
Trespasser gave him a satisfying conclusion - he's viscount, he's in his shit hole of a city, he's surrounded by the people that he loves and cares about. He has the chance to truly build up Kirkwall after all the shit its gone through.
It just feels so bitter, so meaningless, that they gave him the end that they did in DATV. Varric should never have been the one to go after Solas - the only reason it was him was because he's a popular character in the franchise and was used to draw others in.
Why not Cole?! Who was literally mentioned in Trespasser as being on hand to help his friends - who has the ability to get through to Solas in a way no one else could?
No proper send off - no acknowledgement from those who loved him as to his fate...Varric was reduced to a marketing gimmick to draw people in who wanted to see if he died or not. Despicable.
Isabela
Isabela's story was brought to a close in DAI - she became an admiral, got a fancy hat, helped the Inquisition, and kept in contact with those she loved/Hawke if defended from the arishok.
Imagine bringing her back in a terrible outfit, having the most sex/gender positive character outright insult another for their choices, and making her part of the group that steals cultural artifacts from others.
The tomb of Koslun and Aveline would like a word with you?!
Edit - Thanks to bunnyiscthulhu for reminding me that Isabela's mother sold her to a man who became her husband...yet she does nothing when Taash's mother is outright forcing them into a life they don't want. Isabela, who believed that everybody should be free - that no one should be forced into a life they don't want, just...lets it happen to another person?
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Dragon Age: Inquisition
What's going to happen to the Red Lyrium that's popped up across all of Thedas?
Ferelden, Orlais, Kirkwall - all areas are reported to have red lyrium on the surface.
What happens to the Red Lyrium in Suledin?
DAI speaks about how they can never stop the spread of red lyrium, only slow it – animals, insects, organisms - whatever life is in the ground is all susceptible to becoming blighted by red lyrium. Suledin Keep in particular was utterly devastated by the Red Templars - what happens to life there?
2. What happened to Corypheous' Inner Circle?
What happened to Samson? How long did he live *if* he’s given the chance to help Cullen? Can something good come from his cooperation?
What happened to Calpernia?
Looking at previous concept art for DATV she was a companion - freeing slaves, gossiping about Samson & Corypheous. Just...what a waste. Any potential insight we could have gotten into Corypheous is gone.
3. The Mage / Templar War:
How does the world vary if you conscripted vs allied with either?
How do the remnants of what faction was not chosen fit into this new world?
How does the world deal with abominations and weird magic shit now? Is an alternative to the Order made if it's wiped out in DAI?
How is Cullen's templar clinic doing? If the templars still exist, how is Divine Victoria changing/adapting the Order to better support mages/templars?
4. Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts:
How do Orlesian politics reflect who was made ruler?
Is Gaspard looking to expand into Ferelden once more? Are the elves being brutalized under his rule like they were by his chevaliers? Does he do away with the grand game like he threatened in DAI?
How does this differ if Briala has collared him? How do his supporters feel that Briala has his balls in a vice?
Do Celene and Briala stay together? Do things improve for the elves and for the culture of Orlais at large?
Do improvements for the elves mean that Solas' arguments to his elven agents are less persuasive?
If Florianne is alive what the hell is going to happen to her? How quickly does she fall on her blade after being forced to wear flat shoes for the rest of her life?
How quickly does shit fall apart if you get all three to cooperate lmao
Friendly reminder that DATV sets up that all of Orlais, except for the Winter Palace has been overrun by the Blight - and that a coup from the Venatori is inevitable, likely resulting in any ruler dying.
5. What is the line of succession in Orlais?!
Why does every noble family in Thedas have no contingency plans for if their head of government dies?!
Part of why we needed to resolve the leadership problem in DAI was because there was no clear, direct heir if Celene died!
Celene has no heir Gaspard has no heir
Florianne planned to frame Gaspard, meaning that there was no clear heir to the throne - Orlais was already in a civil war, the council of heralds/nobles would have all campaigned in their own interests...that was why this was so important!
Orlais shortsightedness and pride in their nation being the greatest in Thedas led to them almost falling in a single night!
6. Here Lies the Abyss:
What are the ramifications of having the Warden's exiled verses remaining in the south?
Trespasser literally states that there's a schism in the Order because some Warden's believe they should touch grass more often and not listen to some bloke up in Weisshaupt for what they do down in the south.
Perfect opportunity to have the wardens remaining in the south mean something! Greater numbers in the south means that there's a greater chance of holding against the blight - while greater numbers in the north can effect if Antiva/Tevinter end up blighted in the first attack!
How does public perception towards the Wardens/King of Ferelden change when they learn they were exiled for committing human sacrifice to demons?!
Give us a warden coup and First Warden Alistair / Blackwall, you cowards!
7. The Well of Sorrows:
What was the point of drinking Mythal's bathwater?!
It's been set up as something that changes you. Bound to Mythal forever?!
Retroactively, Solas feels like he's going mental about nothing! One of the few times he ever breaks - he begs you not to - and...for what? Nothing.
DATV does not acknowledge that in the slightest. Such a waste and disappointment of what was made out to be an impactful decision in DAI.
Imagine if the Inquisitor drinking from the well made us forced to fight against them during the fight with Solas - imagine if Solas, in a world state who hated the Inquisitor, used them as a puppet! Just like the envy demon in DAI - and no one notices until its too late. Imagine Mythal herself, wanting Solas to go through with his plan - (or one of the other evanuris) using an Inquisitor/Lavellan he loved as a puppet - imagine the horror he feels as another one of his friends is reduced to nothing more than a mindless slave of the evanuris once more. Imagine the devastation as he watches Lavellan lose all sense of self - perhaps swaying him to, maybe, not go through with his plan?! Imagine having Cole come back to help save the Inquisitor - or Solas begging Rook to save them.
8. DLC Implications:
What happens if Hakkon is not slain? What happens to Southern Ferelden and the Avaar?
How does the rest of Thedas react to the truth of what happened at Red Crossing and the Dales? How do they react to learning that Inquisitor Ameridan - First Inquisitor and leader of the Seekers - was a dalish, elven mage?
What happens if you do not save the mines in the Descent DLC? How badly is Orzammars economy crippled? There are already rumours of riots occurring within Orzammar - it this enough to push the caste system over the edge?
9. Elven Uprising and the War with the Qun:
The elven uprising that was implied to be occuring all over Thedas as a result of years of oppression, systematic abuse, and Solas’ influence.
Where are the agents of fen'harel?!
No, instead lets have him chill in the Fade with no contingency plans, agents, or support of any sort. It was set up that Solas was planning to use this rebellion as a smokescreen for his plans - the elves, all rebelling for good reason, rallying to his cause while Solas planned to restore the world that once was. The rest of Thedas would only see an elven uprising, not knowing the true face behind it until it was too late!
The war between Tevinter and the Qun?!
Everyone conveniently forgetting that the Qun literally attempted to assassinate every noble family in Thedas? Why was there no exalted march because of this? This should have destroyed any accord between the chantry and the qun. There would absolutely be blood for this – Tevinter could have attacked the Qun and all of Southern Thedas would have applauded - no one would have differentiated between extremist qunari and the normal qun, especially not after Kirkwall.
The implication at the end of Trespasser that we could convince Solas to abandon his plans? Him saying that he welcomed giving us the chance?!
The difference that the Inquisitors friendship, love, or hatred could have in either convincing Solas to take another path or damning him to go ahaead with his plan, no matter the cost?
Have our decisions in previous games matter! How we treated the elves - if we worked to better their lives or put them in their place - can be used to convince him that the world can change! Have the ripple effects of these decisions be seen when the elven gods return, blighted - does the world turn against the elves, hardening Solas, or does the world defend the elves from those who would blame them?
Why was Sandal in the Crossroads?! Where is Bodahn?!
10. Divine Victoria!
How does the world of Thedas change with Leliana, Cassandra, or Vivienne at the head of the chantry?
How does Tevinter react to having a mage divine?!
Do relations change between both nations because of this?
Leliana allowing elves, dwarves, and even qunari to join the Chantry! Leliana also allowing members of the chantry to get married if she's romanced by the warden.
What happened to the Seekers? Are they being rebuilt?
Does the chantry inform the masses, the rest of the mages, that they can CURE tranquility?!
If either Leliana or Cassandra was romanced - what are the implications that may have on the chantry?
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No wonder the writers insisted that none of the past choices would have an impact on Veilguard - they literally went scorched earth on everything we ever did.
Ferelden is blighted - any legacy of the warden is gone.
Kirkwall is destroyed - any impact Hawke had is gone.
The hard won peace/order of the Inquisition was rendered meaningless since every single place that you went to and helped is now destroyed by the blight.
Orlais' ruler will likely be assassinated by the venatori who are plotting a coup with the nobles - making whomever you chose obsolete.
AND IT WAS ALL THE WORK OF THE MAGICAL ILLUMINATI FROM ACROSS THE SEA???
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starsinthesky5 · 3 days ago
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trick or treat* || joe burrow x reader
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description: he was always Mr. Anti Halloween, but for you? for you, he'd do anything. even if that meant overcoming his childhood hatred for the holiday :)
a/n: a little post halloween fic for you all! sorry this took me so long :) it wasn't planned at all so I hope it's good and not all over the place!!
thank you @joeyb1989 for some inspo ;)
warnings:, language, smut, fluff
word count: 11.7 k
tag list (comment to be added!): @joeyfranchise @joeyb1989 @joeys-babe @softburrow @burrowbarbie @yelenasbraid
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"Baby, pleaseeeee," Joe whined as he hid his face in your neck, pulling the hood of his onesie even lower to hide his face simultaneously. "Please don't make me go out there," he murmured, his words soft and pleading while his warm breath caressed your skin.
"Joey, it's gonna be okay," you giggled, rubbing gentle circles along his back, your hand sinking into the soft, fluffy fabric of the blue stitch onesie he was sporting tonight.
He pouted, snaking his arms around your waist in a playful attempt to anchor himself, preventing you from dragging him out the door. “I don’t wanna go,” he mumbled into the soft fabric of your matching pink stitch onesie. “I really don’t wanna go, baby. I’ll do anything if you let us stay inside tonight. I’ll make you a three-course meal, give you a full body massage, paint your nails--anything you want. I’ll even let you be on top more ‘cause I know how much you love it. That all sounds nice, right? Right?”. His voice was a mix of begging and teasing, you couldn’t help but giggle at the lengths he was willing to go to avoid the Halloween festivities. 
"Joey, I love you and appreciate your will to negotiate, but I’m not changing my mind,” you chuckled, swaying his body back and forth.
“B- But whyyy?” he mumbled against your neck, his incredibly delicate voice making you melt in his arms. Every word he whispered tugged at your heartstrings, and all you wanted was to go back to bed and snuggle his adorable self till he couldn't breathe. “Do you hate me or something?”
“How dare you accuse me of such a thing,” you dramatically gasped, stopping your soothing movements to add to the theatrical effect. "I'm app-", giggle, "appalled that you even considered such horrid thoughts," you said, trying to stifle your laughter and remain serious but failing miserably.
“...Am I accusing you or is it just the truth?” he moped, twisting his head in your neck so that he could look into your eyes with his wide baby blues.  
A pang of guilt pulled at you for pushing him into it, but you knew without it, he'd never agree. “I love you, and that’s why I’m making us go trick-or-treating tonight. You deserve to experience Halloween the right way, and I’m gonna make it happen this year,”. 
Tonight was your favorite night of the year and Joe’s least favorite night of the year, All Hallow’s Eve. To you, Halloween was a night filled with magic and mischief, a time to dive into the world of costumes, mysterious identities, and bags upon bags of candy. In years past, you'd normally find yourself getting absolutely trashed at some Halloweekend party with your friends, but in recent years you opted for more tamer celebrations. Part of the reason was that you didn't really enjoy getting blackout drunk anymore and left that behind in your college days, but another reason was because of your lovely boyfriend who preferred to spend every October 31st acting like it wasn't October 31st. To Joe, Halloween was a “stupid holiday”, an excuse for people to put on facades they’d never wear any other day. He didn’t see the point in what you were celebrating, and the whole thing seemed meaningless to him. That hurt your soul a little, knowing how much you loved Halloween and everything that came along with it. But when you found out the real reason behind his hesitation--the things he kept tucked away, the bits that made him see the holiday differently--your perspective shifted.
Even growing up, Joe wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday. He loved the idea of dressing up in his little costumes, always excited to transform into a superhero or a silly cartoon character. But when it was time to step out onto the chilly, leaf-strewn streets, baby joey would hide. He couldn’t get himself to walk up to the door and mumble, “Trick or Treat”. He would hide, burying himself in his parents’ legs or peeking nervously from the porch to see if the bowl of candy was left out. The idea of knocking on doors and making small talk with strangers was all so overwhelming for him and that stuck with him a little even in adulthood. The spooky masks, the dark skies, and the anxiety of talking to strangers soured his feelings towards the holiday and Halloween quickly became something he’d rather skip. You understood that it wasn't just about the costumes and candy for him and that understanding made you want to help him create new, happier memories in place of the old.
But you really didn't have to push all that hard because every year, he still indulged in parts of the spooky holiday for you--at least the parts that he approved. Each year, he’d help you hang up the orange and purple lights, the flying witch decorations, and even the faux cobwebs across the shrubs outside. He’d grumble a little at the mess and the spooky faces staring back at him from the yard, but when he’d see the happiness in your eyes, every bit of effort felt worth it. Seeing you happy made Halloween just a little more bearable--and maybe, just maybe, even enjoyable.
You somehow made it more comforting for him, and even though he gave you the same speech every year about how pointless it all was, you’d eventually find him nose-deep in a bag of candy, a tell-tale smudge of chocolate on his lip betraying his facade.
Sometimes, he’d even cave and watch a Halloween movie with you, despite his irrational fear of anything remotely horror-related. But getting him there was never easy. He was, without a doubt, the most stubborn person you knew so it always took endless pleading, a little bribery, and maybe a few strategically placed kisses to get him to soften up. Soon after, he’d sink in next to you, arms crossed and pretending not to flinch at every jump scare. Or, he'd end up pulling the blanket high enough to cover his face if he wasn't already hiding it in the crook of your neck.
Flashback to a few weeks ago
“Babe, I’m not watching that,” he huffed, crossing his arms and clenching his jaw in opposition as you scrolled through the list of movies on the TV. 
“Baby, Scream isn’t even scary! It’s just a slasher film,” you said while turning to look at him, your bottom lip stuck out as you tried to use your usual irresistible pout to convince him to watch your all-time favorite scary movie with you. 
That pout did wonders for you when it came to Joe. It was your way of getting him to do all the things he'd normally resist--watching a scary movie, going out when he'd rather stay in, trying that new cafe you'd been raving about. Every time, he'd try to hold out, but one look at your face and his front would crumble. It would be replaced with a soft smile that he reserved just for you, just for his girl.
You watched as he sighed, his eyes flicking to your pout and back. His lips curled into a sweet smile and his eyes softened; he was getting lost in your charm and it was working.
Oh yes.
But the pout that usually always works in your favor, failed you this time and he quickly went back to his resolve without even flinching. “Put the pout away, babe. I’m not watching that,” he shook his head. “You look adorable, but it’s not going to work this time,” he added as his thumb traced slowly along your plump bottom lip. His hand lingered near your face and even in his most stubborn moments, he couldn't hide how much he adored you.
You blinked at him for a few silent moments before fully losing it, “But whyyyyy,” you whined, throwing your head back against the couch headrest, then shifting your head to look at him. “I promise it’s not scary! And I’m right here if you do get scared. You can squeeze my hand, bury your face in my neck, use me as a stress ball,”. 
"Thanks, Y/N, but it’s still a hard no," he chuckled at your attempt to persuade him. "I refuse to watch people get gutted by some psycho in a ghost mask. The whole concept of the movie is just dumb, anyway. I mean, why not just move towns or states? Why not just buy a gun? Or wait, even better. Just don’t pick up the fucking phone and talk to a stranger,” he giggled as you glared at him.
He leaned in, deepening his voice, and asked, "What's your favorite scary movie?" in his best Ghostface voice. “Like, come on! Just hang up, block the number, call 911, and get the hell outta dodge,”
You shifted away from him, your jaw falling open, truly offended by his disregard for the masterpiece that the original Scream was. After seeing your demeanor, he only laughed harder. “Oh, stop. You know I’m right. It’s probably the same with every horror movie. They just love to make the main characters dumber than a rock and then make them act surprised that a psycho with a knife is knocking at their door,”. 
“You know,” you interjected, giving him a playful side-eye. “You seem to know an awful lot about scary movie plots for a guy who refuses to watch a single one with his lovely girlfriend--the same girlfriend he adores, is utterly obsessed with, and would do annnnnnything to make happy,” you lean into the sarcasm, but laced it with enough sweetness to test his stubbornness, hoping it would make him cave. "You do like to make her happy, right? I bet that you watching Scream with her would make her soooo happy," you added, placing a hand on his thigh and giving him a gentle squeeze.
Joe smirked to himself before he leaned in, his lips grazing against the corner of your ear. “You gotta do better than that, baby,” he whispered, his breath hot and voice raspy. He was enjoying your attempt to sway him. The playful challenge in his eyes told you he wasn’t giving in that easily, but he loved every second of it. 
"Oh, come ON," you thought to yourself, realizing this would be much harder than you thought.
"What if I make you Pumpkin Pie after?" you asked him while flashing him a bright smile. Pleading wasn't working, so it was time for you to call in the big guns: bribery. God bless your ability to pivot without breaking a sweat, you could practically already see his determination crumbling as a hint of temptation flickered in his eyes. You were close to winning him over.
Yes. YES.
Joe pursed his lips, pretending to be deeply thinking about your offer before he opened his mouth after his dramatic pause, "Mmmm, nope," he shook his head, trying to keep a straight face.
You groaned, throwing your head back against the couch headrest again, then dropping your head to his shoulder where he moved his hand to cradle your face. He dropped a quick kiss to your forehead, unable to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he enjoyed every second of your struggle. "Damn, you suck at this," he teased, his voice full of affection.
"What if I bake it naked. Only in an apron?" you offered, glancing up at him and knowing that he wouldn't be able to resist such a tempting offer.
Whenever you stepped into that kitchen to bake him something, it was like a switch flipped inside Joe. He became impossibly handsy, his self-control being thrown out the window the second he saw you in that baby pink apron, hair tied in a messy bun, and arms coated in flour. What takes 2 hours to bake, takes 4 when he's in there with you. You get so distracted by his slow neck kisses, his hands sliding over the curves of your hips, and the alluring words he whispered in your ear. By the end, flour would be everywhere. On the counter, on your clothes, even in his hair. He was always so proud of the mess you'd both made, and you didn't mind it one bit.
So, being naked--basically bare--while making him his second favorite sweet treat? Well, that was basically an open invitation for Joe to indulge in his first favorite sweet treat. You.
He definitely wouldn't be able to resist this.
"It'll be just you and me," you mumble, leaning your head forward so that your lips are sliding across his tan neck, his hand moving to grip your thigh as he instinctively pulls you closer. "In that big kitchen," you say as you drop a wet kiss on his sweet spot. "Allll alone," another kiss to his skin, this time along his jawline. "For as long as you want...".
His eyes widened for a split second before he let out a low, conquered groan, trying to fight back a grin at the same time. "You...are impossible," he muttered, shaking his head as he pulled you in even closer, your legs now curled up in his lap and his hand rubbing your calf.
"And you are always DTF," you giggled, taking note of his handsy-ness already beginning hours in advance due to the mere mention of baking a pie for him with no clothes on.
"...Mmph, alright, you win," he sighed, giving in to your wishes at last. "But that pie better be worth it or else I'm taking all this Halloween shit down," he warned while motioning to the few decorations around the living room.
"If the pie isn't worth it, I'll be sure to make something else worth it," you winked, your implied suggestion causing his cheeks to turn pink as you reached for the remote and clicked on Scream.
End of Flashback
Over the years, you'd managed to get your boyfriend to warm up to Halloween bit by bit. He'd sit through a few "scary" movies and even helped you decorate the house despite his complaining and groaning. But there was still one Halloween tradition you hadn't been able to get him to embrace: trick-or-treating.
That part of Halloween still brought back his old discomfort. Every year you'd try to get him to hand out candy with you, but he always refused and said he had to watch game tape in his office. You'd ask if he wanted to walk around the neighborhood and watch the kids trick-or-treat, but instead, he'd suggest you two go out to eat. Then you'd get a little bold and ask him if he wanted to go trick-or-treating together, and Joe would look at you like you had three heads.
Nothing ever worked--not the pout, the pleading, the bribery, or even your sweetest kisses. Trick-or-treating was the one Halloween tradition Joe just couldn’t get behind, no matter how much you tried. But this year, you decided to approach it differently.
You didn’t ask him to go. You simply told him you were going trick-or-treating together and made it nearly impossible for him to refuse.
You’d spent weeks planning, finding the perfect couple’s costumes, and dropping hints about how fun it would be. Every time he tried to fight it, you’d meet his eyes with that knowing smile, as if you could already picture the two of you walking hand in hand down the leaf-strewn streets. You weren’t giving him a way out this time. And deep down, a part of him knew he was going to give in--not because you’d worn him down, but because he loved seeing you happy.
Flashback to two nights ago
"Okay. I have three costume options," you smiled, holding up three shopping bags in front of him. Joe sat on the edge of the bed, looking a little frazzled, his expression already showing his hesitation.
"Wait...three?" he asked, eyeing the bags like they were bombs that were seconds away from exploding
"Mhm!" you grinned, pulling the bags closer. "You're going to pick the perfect couple's costume, I just know it,".
"Me? I told you, Y/N. I'm not going," he shook his head. "We do this dance every year and I don't know why you keep trying,".
Your shoulders dropped a little at his usual negative mindset towards Halloween, and you softened as you met his eyes again, "I keep trying because..." you hesitated, giving him a warm smile, "I want to make you have happy memories about this holiday, Joey,".
He blinked, surprised by the sincerity in your voice. Normally you'd be playful and silly when you talked about this, but this time you weren't and that set off the alarm in Joe's head.
“I want you to experience it the way you were meant to as a kid,” you continued, dropping the bags and walking over to sit beside him. “I want you to have the same silly experiences I did, so that one day,” you took his hand in yours, squeezing gently, “We can let our kids experience it the way we did. You deserve to feel the excitement of getting dressed up, the thrill you get once you count up the amount of candy you get at the end of the night, and the warm feeling the day after when you get to stuff your face with candy for breakfast. I know Halloween wasn’t your favorite back then, but I’m here now. We can make it ours. We can make better memories,".
"I know it's silly, I mean it is just a holiday. But I want you to experience it all, you know? And it'll be fun because I'm doing it with you," you added, your voice laced with sincerity.
Joe looked down at your hands, your words sinking in, and when he looked up, there was a warmth in his eye that hadn't been there before. Halloween might not have been his favorite holiday. But for you? He'd make it one he loved. He saw how much it meant to you, and he noticed how over the years you'd been changing his experiences with the holiday step by step despite his stubbornness. You never gave up on him, and that's why he loved you. That's why he was willing to do whatever it took to make you smile.
With a small grin, he eventually sighed, “Alright. Show me those costumes,”.
Your face lit up instantly, "Really?" you gasped, gripping his bicep in response.
"Don't make me change my mind," he said after dropping his head, although he couldn't help a smile from appearing on his face at the sound of your newfound excitement.
"I love you, Joseph Lee Burrow," you grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his soft cheek before jumping off the bed and grabbing the bags.
"I love you too, Y/N Y/LN," he chuckled.
He did, he really really loved you. He was willing to do anything to make you happy, to make his girl, his lady, happy. And who knows, maybe you were right? Maybe he would have a happy memory of Halloween after doing this with you tonight.
You picked up the first bag, quickly taking out the first set of matching costumes. "Okay, okay, hear me out--matching blue and pink stitch onesies. They're comfy and simple, and I think you'll look very adorable walking around in this,".
Joe raised an eyebrow, a smile creeping onto his face. "Comfy, huh? That's a plus, for sure".
You grinned, pulling out the next costume. "Option Two, Joker and Harley Quinn,".
"Oh?" he said, his tone laced with surprise as he saw your Harley Quinn costume or the lack thereof. "I don't know how I feel about you walking around in those shorts, babe,".
"I knew you were going to say that," you sighed. "But I still bought it anyway because you'd look so sexy with this Joker outfit and makeup on,".
Joe felt a blush creeping up on his face as he chuckled, "We can do that...but only for our eyes only. Your birthdays coming up, right? Consider me dressing up as The Joker one of your gifts," he winked.
"Noted," you said, your voice barely above a whisper as heat pooled in your stomach at his innuendo. You then pulled out the final option, trying to calm yourself as you showed him. "Last one, which is a classic. Pirates!" you grinned.
Joe looked carefully for a moment, peeking at each costume before finally meeting your gaze. It didn't take long for him to decide which one he liked best, “You know,” he said, a grin breaking through, “I think I’m gonna go with the stitch onesie,".
You raised an eyebrow in surprise at how fast he picked a costume, especially because he picked the one you didn't think he would pick. “Really? Why’s that?”
“Because,” he replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief, “It’s super comfy, and you know how much I love aliens. Plus,” he added, leaning in closer, “It’ll be easy to take off of you later when we get into bed,”
Your cheeks flushed at the playful implication, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, stitch it is! But you have to promise we’ll take cute photos," you said, you were really just happy that he agreed to go and pick a costume without getting into a pillow fight with you.
“Deal,” Joe said, reaching out and gripping your waist firmly, pulling you close, and planting a quick kiss on your belly before resting his cheek against it while you raked your fingers through his soft hair. Halloween might not have been his favorite holiday, but with you by his side, he was ready to make it a night to remember--one cozy moment at a time.
"I love you," he mumbled against you before pressing another kiss to your belly.
"I love you too, my anti-halloween cuddle baby," you giggled, pressing a kiss to his hair.
End of flashback
You thought you had gotten him to fully embrace tonight, especially since he willingly put on his blue stitch onesie, but with the way he was clinging to you right now...he was definitely still struggling to let himself open up to it.
"What if they start laughing at me? I'm Joe Burrow, 27-year-old QB of the Cincinnati Bengals. I shouldn't be out trick-or-treating," he whined, hiding his face in your neck again.
"They won't laugh, Joey," you softly laughed.
"How do you know?".
"Because. You're Joe Burrow, 27-year-old QB of the Cincinnati Bengals," you grinned, gently shuffling both of you over to the foyer table where your candy bags were placed. "Man, you're big," you mumbled, slightly struggling to move because you had your 215-pound teddy bear attached to you.
He chuckled lightly, his breath warm against your skin. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. I thought you liked big boys,”.
"I do. Only you though. The rest are scaryyyy," you smiled, finally reaching the table.
"And I'm not?" he questioned, his voice laced with playfulness and flirtatious energy.
"Nope," you said while grabbing the bags. "You're my big, gigantic, muscular, adorable cuddle baby whom I never want to let go of" you softened.
"Hm, I think I prefer that over a scary football player," he chuckled.
Joe lost that tough, hard-headed QB persona when it was just the two of you. He was a total softie with you, revealing a side that few got to see. He would lean in closer during the quiet moments, dropping his guard as he shared little secrets and dreams with you, his deep voice softening to a whisper just for you. It was in these moments that you could see the real Joe. A man who cherished the little things, from the warmth of your hands to the laughter you shared over inside jokes. Each cuddle, each tender kiss that lingered a second longer, each time he pulled you into his tight embrace, he was just Joey. The boy who adored you more than life itself. Under the star athlete was someone who thrived on love, warmth, and connection.
"Good," you giggled, "Because me too. Anyway, it's just our neighborhood. Everyone knows we live here so I'm sure you'll just get a few 'hey joe!' screams and an occasional request for a photo,".
Joe lifted his head out of your neck, still looking a bit unsure for a few moments which prompted you to speak up. "I promise it'll be fun, Joey. I'm right there with you," you smiled, your hand sliding up and down the sides of his torso and your nails lightly scratching him through the fabric of his onesie. "Do it for me? Please?".
You saw a little shift in his baby blue eyes, relaxation and love flooded them. "Anything for her," he told himself. "Come on, Joe. Grow up,".
He took another deep breath before speaking up, "...Okay, but if someone asks me to do the Heisman pose in a Stitch onesie, I’m not doing it,".
You broke out in a fit of laughter at the mental image of him doing so and dropped your head onto his chest as your body shook from emotion. "D- Deal," you laughed, your heart swelling at how willing he was to step out of his comfort zone for you.
You felt him press a warm kiss to your forehead, his hand then moving to cup the nape of your neck and angle your face up. He leaned down, gently pressing his lips against yours, the feeling of your lips connecting sending shivers down your spine.
His hands slid down to your waist, his thumbs tracing slow, deliberate circles as he pulled you closer. His cold nose brushed against yours as he met your lips in a deep, sluggish, sloppy kiss. Each gentle nip and pull sent warmth throughout your body, and his soft rhythm made you melt into him. Just as you began to lose yourself in the kiss, he pulled back slightly, "Alright, let's do this," he said against your lips. "But you better keep me entertained, or I'm pulling the 'famous quarterback' card,".
"Interesting words coming from the same guy who hates unnecessary attention," you said while raising an eyebrow, stepping back from Joe's embrace to straighten out your outfit.
"Hey, it's my get-out-of-jail-free card," he retorted. "If they start laughing or I get bored, I'll remind everyone that I'm a professional athlete. That'll get them to one, stop laughing because I'll say 'excuse me, ma'am, but do you really want to laugh at Joe Burrow, the Cincinnati Bengals' golden boy?' and two, entertain my football star side for a few short seconds before I get irritated by the camera flashes," he said while striking a mock pose, puffing out his chest and flexing his arms dramatically.
"Ohhh yeah," you giggled, "Because nothing screams 'intimidating' like a guy in a stitch onesie flexing his muscles,".
“Exactly, babe,” he replied, laughing along with you. “I mean, who wouldn’t want a picture with the cuddly, buff quarterback? Just look at me, who could say no?” He glanced down at his plush costume, pretending to look serious.
"Careful, Joey B. You might even start a trend," you said while raising your hands. "The soft, cuddly, buff quarterback. It could be your new brand,".
"I can get behind that," he cutely nodded. "Maybe I'll wear this at the press conference next week," he chucked, throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you both to the front door.
"Ohhh, I would love to see the reactions from the guys and the media if you pulled up like this," you smiled as you rested your head on his shoulder.
"I would never hear the end of it. The guys still give me shit for the hickey I walked in with the day after my birthday last year," he sighed.
"I'm still not sorry for that," you shrugged. "Gotta let everyone know that you're mine," you nodded as he opened the front door for you.
"No need to be sorry, babe. You made your mark on me, a golden tattoo. I can't hate on that," he smiled, helping you onto the front step while he followed and closed the door behind him.
A smirk rose on your face, "Good. Because if you do good tonight, maybe you'll get a few more golden tattoos," you quickly mumbled, hopping down the steps of your house.
"Wait, what?" Joe asked, raising his eyebrows at what he thinks he heard you say.
Your cheeks turned a deeper shade of maroon before you glanced back at him, "Ohhh, nothing," you smiled. "C'mon," you motioned for him to follow, "We have doors to knock on,".
-- -- --
"Okay, Joey. First house," you smiled, placing your hand around his bicep and giving it a reassuring squeeze. You both were standing at the doorstep of a house that was a few streets down from yours, the decorations in the front yard caught your eye and you just knew this was the first place to start. There was an elaborate setup of skeletons cobwebs, and glowing pumpkins that lit up the yard with a spooky charm.
Joe's eyes darted from the decorations to the door, and you could feel the tension in his muscles under your hand. "Had to pick the spookiest house first, didn't you?" he murmured, glancing down at you with a hint of hesitation.
"You got this, babe," you nudged playfully, leaning over to kiss his cheek as you doubled down on your confidence in him.
He took a deep breath, straightening his posture as his brows furrowed in determination. "Okay, here goes," he breathed out, lifting his hand, pausing for a second as he shot you one last look--almost making sure you were still with him--before he finally pressed the doorbell. There was nothing to be scared or shy of. You were right there with him, he had no reason to hide behind someone because he had his safety blanket right next to him. His sweetheart, his lovely girlfriend, his Y/N.
A few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal a middle-aged woman, her face lighting up as her eyes fell on you both. But when her eyes landed on Joe, standing there in a stitch onesie, she let out a surprised laugh.
He nervously cleared his throat before saying, "Trick or treat!" his voice was steady but laced with a bit of shyness that only you could catch.
"Oh, my goodness!" she bounced with excitement. "I never thought I'd see the day! Joe Burrow? Trick or Treating on my porch! And in such an adorable costume?" she cooed.
You couldn’t help the proud grin that spread across your face as you squeezed his arm again, leaning in to whisper, "See? You’re already a hit,".
"She's not wrong! This costume is perfect for you," the lady nodded. "You two look so adorable!".
Joe laughed, scratching the back of his neck, "Yeah, well...I have my Halloween coach to thank for that," he said, nodding at you with an appreciative smile.
"You give me too much credit," you giggled. "Not everyone can pull off a stitch onesie at 27 years old,".
He looked down at you again, his lips curved into a soft smile. But then he noticed your gaze shift down to his bag, which was still closed tight in his hand. You gave him a playful look, raising an eyebrow as if you were saying, "C'mon, Joey. Open it up,".
He realized what you meant with your stare, "Oh," he mumbled, quickly tugging the bag open and holding it out just like a kid who finally got the Halloween memo.
He watched as the woman dug her hand deep into the bowl of candy and placed a generous handful inside his spooky, SpongeBob-themed candy bag. Joe looked down at it with a mix of amusement and disbelief on his face, clearly not used to this happening to him. You couldn't help but melt at how surreal it must have felt for him--27-year-old Joe Burrow, the star QB, standing on a stranger's doorstep with a trick-or-treat bag in hand, experiencing the magic of Halloween the right way for the first time.
"Happy Halloween!" she chirped, giving him a little wink before turning to you and adding, "And you two make the cutest couple! Who Dey!".
Joe's ears turned a light shade of pink as he mumbled a polite, "Thank You,", trying to hide his emotions as best he could. That wasn't as bad as he thought it was, that was actually...fun? There were no awkward words exchanged between him and the stranger, no intimidating vibes, just sweet candy and even sweeter words.
And he had gotten a huge, seemingly above-normal fistful of candy too? Talk about Quarterback perks...
"What is this?" he thought, confused by what just happened as his hand instinctively gripped yours while you waved goodbye and walked away from the house.
You couldn't help your smile from growing wider when you both were back on the sidewalk. "He did it. He really did it," you thought to yourself, your heart swelling in return. "He did it for me,".
You stopped him in his tracks and turned to face him. "What's wrong?" he asked, confused at why you suddenly stopped him and at your wide-eyed look.
A squeal left your lips as you looped your arms around his neck and jumped into him. "You did ittttt!" you cheered, pressing about a dozen kisses to his soft, rosy cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Joe!".
Joe's face softened, a smile creeping up as he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close. "You're really that proud of me?" he asked, amused and bashful.
"Are you joking?" you beamed, pulling back just enough to look at him through both your stitch hoods. "You faced your Halloween fears for me. That's huge, Joe,".
"Yeah...I guess I did," he tilted his head and replied, sounding a little surprised himself.
"Ahhhh," you squealed again as you went back into the bear hug you were giving him. "This is so exciting for me, you have no clue,".
He laughed, "Oh, I think I have some idea. You've been on me for doing this for yeaaars. I'm glad you never gave up, though,".
"I'll never give up when it comes to you," you smiled before leaning up and capturing his lips in a warm kiss. "Ooo," you said as you quickly pulled away, "What candy did you get?" you asked as you felt the presence of his candy bag below you
Joe chuckled softly, still relishing in the warmth of your quick kiss. “Let’s see,” he said, searching through his candy bag with exaggerated seriousness as if it were a treasure chest. “Looks like I’ve got some Snickers, a few Reese’s, and--,” he paused for dramatic effect, pulling out a tiny packet, “Starburst!”.
Joe and his Starbursts. An inseparable duo.
"Ohh, here we go," you laughed, watching as he dropped his bag on the ground and quickly started ripping open the packet to see what flavors he got.
A gasp left his lips, "Orange! Y/N, I got double orange!" he smiled, his voice so light and playful because he had just got his favorite flavor. He was legit a kid right now in every way possible, from the costume to the smile, and to the air around him.
"Joe, it's just orange," you teased, smiling wide as you enjoyed this playful side to him.
He shot you a glare, "Just orange? This is the best damn flavor," he said, tossing a piece into his mouth with a proud grin. "I know you love pink, but that is not orange. You're missing out," he said while pointing at you as if he was giving you a lecture.
"Maybe we can do a flavor swap later?" you winked, your suggestive comment earning a grin from him.
"Deal," he chuckled as he picked up his bag again to see what else he got.
You watched as he searched through the candies, an adorable grin on his face, crinkles around his eyes, and a shimmer in his baby blues. Joe was so happy, so smiley, and this was just the first house out of many. You could only imagine how he would be by the end of the night. "Let's keep going," he smiled, a feeling of excitement starting to bubble underneath his skin.
You let him lead you, warmth filling your chest as he glanced back at you, his excitement spreading through his fingertips and straight into your body. Joe’s hand squeezed yours, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how he practically skipped down the sidewalk. His usual calm, collected self had completely melted away, replaced by a boyish joy that made your heart swell.
When you reached the next house, he gave you a playful look. "Alright, what do you think this one’s giving out? Full-size? Think we’ll get lucky?".
You shrugged, playing along, “Only one way to find out. Go on, brave QB. Knock and conquer,".
"You don't want to come up with me?" he asked with a playful pout.
You smiled, "You're a big boy, QB1. You've got this".
"Alright, alright. But if I get nervous, you'll be my backup, right?" he asked, glancing back at the house. He wasn't having a hard time talking to strangers this time around, which was different than when he was a kid. Normally, he wouldn't be able to put his finger on what made him break a childhood habit, but this time it was easy for him to know because of the feeling he had in his heart.
It was because of you.
Being with you calmed Joe in a way that nothing else could. Your calm presence was like the first, refreshing sip of ice water after a brutal run on a hot day. As you stood by his side tonight, he felt your cool confidence seep into him, melting away any of his nerves.
With you there, he found himself speaking more easily, making small talk without hesitation, and even standing on doorsteps without any fear. You had a remarkable effect on Joe, and he knew damn well without you, he wouldn't be able to do a lot of things, including this.
"Forever and Always," you promised, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go.
He straightened up, took a breath, and headed up the path on his own, a new confidence in his stride. Watching him, you couldn’t help but smile. He was loosening up, bit by bit, and you felt a thrill at the thought that he might actually be enjoying himself.
Joe knocked on the door, a bit of uncertainty clear via his body language. But when the door opened, he gave a smile so genuine that even the older couple answering couldn’t help but smile back, dropping another handful of treats into his bag as they made small talk with him.
You quickly pulled out your phone to record the sweet moment, wanting to capture Joe looking absolutely adorable and actively enjoying himself on Halloween in case someone doubted you when you told them. You had gotten him to soften up, and that was making this the best Halloween ever. You wanted to capture the memory and keep it forever.
As he headed down the steps, he looked at you with a glowing face. “You know what? I kinda get why you love this now. It’s just...fun,”.
You let out a dramatic gasp as he inched towards you, "Joe Burrow? Saying Halloween is fun? Oh my god? Have the aliens finally made landfall on Earth?".
"Very funny, Y/N," he playfully rolled his eyes.
"What'd you score this time?" you said while looping your arm with his.
"Full-sized, baby," he said in mock triumph. "Snickers, a big bag of Sour-Patch, and even another Starburst packet,". The glimmer in his eyes was undeniable, he was genuinely enjoying himself and the smile on his face was only growing wider. There were no complaints from him, no signs of anxiety, just pure enjoyment. "They even said I looked cute in this and said I've been playing like the MVP recently," he blushed.
"Aw, that's sweet," you replied, squeezing his hand as you continued walking down the street, seeing all the little kids in their adorable costumes wandering the roads. You even think you saw a kid dressed up as Joe, football jersey and all.
He let go of your hand so that he could put his arm around your waist, "They even said something about you," he winked.
"Oh? What'd they say?" you asked, snaking your arm around his waist.
"That I struck gold with youuuu," he teased, bumping his head with yours. "They go to a bunch of games and have seats by our sidelines and see you and me before every game doing our little handshake and watching you give me that pre-game pep talk. They said that the way I look at you, and only you, during that time is only something that comes around every few lifetimes,".
Your eyes widened in surprise, "Wait, seriously? People notice that?".
They weren't wrong there, though. The way Joe looked at you during his sideline time was something that was so special, so rare. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders at that time, but all that vanished once his eyes locked in on yours. You were his comfort, his calm within the storm. Whether that's on the field, or even right now as you two were partaking in Halloween festivities that he was normally against. You made it all better with your smile, with your reassuring words, with your gentle touch. He adored you.
Joe chuckled, nodding, "Yeah, apparently it's their favorite part of the game. They said, 'Man, if that's not love, I don't know what is',". He pulled you a little closer, "Guess I struck gold,".
Your heart exploded as you nestled closer to him, "Well, they're not wrong," you mumbled. "But, I think I'm the lucky one because I get to watch you light up the field like you do,".
Joe leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your head, his voice warm as he murmured, “Guess we're both pretty lucky. But I'm definitely the luckier one because I have the most dedicated, relentless--in the best way--adorable, thoughtful, beautiful, and insanely hot woman by my side,".
His words were tender, each one a gentle caress that wrapped around your heart. They held a deep meaning that made you feel adored in a way only he could make you feel. You looked up at him, eyes sparkling with love, a smile tugging at your lips. "You know, you make it really hard not to fall for you all over again," you whispered, your voice catching as you reached up to trace your fingers along his jawline.
"Baby, I fall for you all over again every single morning I wake up to your beautiful face," he said, his fingers brushing against your cheek. "And I love you a million times more. Thank you for taking me out tonight even though I was being a whiny ass. I'm realizing what I've been missing out on," he said, looking across the street to where a little boy was calling his name, giving him a wave and smile in return. "And I'm definitely realizing it's a lot more fun with you, by my side".
"Well, I'm having the best Halloween ever if that means anything," you smiled, watching as he waved to the little kids who were starting to notice that they were trick-or-treating with Joe Burrow.
Joe pulled you even closer before planting a quick kiss on your forehead again, "Me too, and it's all thanks to you,".
Joe saw that satisfied grin on your face and felt his heart swell. You were happy. Knowing that he had a part in that made him feel like he was on Cloud 9. "I think I like seeing you like this more than I like watching the other team go 3 and out during a game," he said with a silly grin.
"You're just saying that just to say it," you shook your head as you two strolled down the sidewalk.
"Nope. I'd wear this every Halloween if it meant I could see you smile like this. You look like you're about to explode from excitement," he laughed.
"Well, I think I might. My mission was accomplished. You're enjoying Halloween," you said while letting go of him, moving so that you two were face to face. You grabbed his hand and started to walk backward down the sidewalk, leading him along with you. "We're healing your inner child, one 'trick or treat' at a time,".
"You know, you might be right?" he shook his head in disbelief. "Just don't tell my mom because I think she'll actually freak if we tell her you got me to trick or treat since she tried soooo hard when I was little to get me out here,".
You let out a loud laugh, "It'll be our secret,".
"Good, because I wouldn't do this for anyone else. Just you," he said, giving you a heated look, his icy eyes sending shivers down your spine. The playfulness in his voice was replaced with heat, and you weren't sure what made him do such a 360 all of a sudden.
"Woahhh, slow down with those bedroom eyes. We still have a few more houses to hit up," you giggled.
"Sorry," he shook his head, snapping out of his daze. "I just remembered how easy it is to take a onesie off and got excited,".
"Like I said, you're always DTF," you smiled, turning back around and pulling him down the sidewalk with you.
"Only for you though," he smiled, innocently tapping your ass which caused a gasp to leave your lips.
"Joseph Lee! There are children around!" you shrieked, looking back at him with wide eyes as your cheeks flushed with surprise and embarrassment.
"What? It was just a little tap," he shrugged. "Besides, we're allowed to have some fun, right? It is Halloween,".
"You're unbelievable, you know that?" you said, trying to hide your laughter.
"But you love it," he said, leaning closer as he winked at you, his confidence shining through. "And I think the kids are too focused on their candy to notice what I'm doing,".
You looked around, watching as the kids ran past you both with their candy hauls in hand, realizing he was right. "Okay, but still. You better keep your hands to yourself unless you want the whole neighborhood to see your stitch onesie getting stripped off,".
"Relaaax, baby. It won't happen again, at least not until we're somewhere a little more...private," he said, tapping your ass again but before you could say something, he ran in front of you to escape your anger.
"Oh hell no," you shook your head, watching as he ran backward, his tongue sticking out at you in mockery as he sported a cocky grin.
"Catch me if you can!" he yelled, his laughter echoing as he picked up speed.
"He's such a kid," you whispered to yourself, "You're going to regret that!" you shouted back, your competitive spirit breaking free as you took off after him.
He really was a full-blown kid tonight, and it was all thanks to you. You got him to loosen up, to laugh a little harder, and to enjoy something he had grown to hate. Each doorbell you rang seemed to chip away at the walls he had built around Halloween, and the joy in his eyes was heartwarming.
You ran down the sidewalk, chasing after him as best as you could, but Joe being the sneaky athletic man he is, was just too fast for your pace. "He chooses the wrong time to show that he has wheels," you thought to yourself. Before you knew it, he had led you down a dark backroad and was nowhere in sight. You were far from your familiar neighborhood streets, the spooky decorations and orange lights now a blur in the background as you were now standing on an eerily quiet street. The shadowy road sent a shiver down your arm, "Joe?" you called out, your voice echoing in the quiet environment.
You got no response.
You bit your lip, gripping your bag a little tighter as you stay alert, turning your head to check if he was near you. "Joe? This isn't funny! I swear to God," you said, swallowing hard. The usual sounds of forest critters were oddly silent, providing no comfort to you at the moment.
"Did he even come down here? Maybe I wasn't paying too much attention to which way he went," you muttered to yourself, slowly beginning to walk up the road and back to where you came from. "But then where did he go?".
"Joe? I'm serious," you yelled out again, your voice laced with frustration and nervousness. This was the exact kind of thing he would do to spook you, so maybe that's what he was doing.
Before you could call out again, you heard a faint sound--like a crunch of leaves under a foot.
You didn't turn around to see what it was, instead, you stopped walking and froze, your bottom lip starting to tremble as fear crept into your mind.
There was nothing down here. And by nothing, you mean nothing. Not a single house, not a single car, and not a single soul. Just trees, a road, and a distant view of your neighborhood.
So who was behind you?
You didn't want to turn around to see who it was out of fear. It could be Joe, but it also could be some psycho in a ghost mask with a knife, waiting to stab you to death. "Oh shut up, Y/N. Scream is a movie. A MOVIE." you lectured yourself, mentally slapping yourself for sounding like Joe.
You shook your head to push away the uncomfortable feeling creeping up your spine. You quickened your pace as you walked towards the familiar shapes of the neighborhood. Each hasty step made your heart pound louder in your chest, drowning out your breath. Behind you, the sounds grew louder as you heard the rustling leaves and the faint crunch of footsteps on gravel--each noise sent a rush of anxiety through you.
"Absolutely not. I'm not dying before I witness a Bengals Super Bowl win," you mumbled to yourself before you reached up to pull your hood down, then kicked back and started bolting up the road.
"Come on, come on," you muttered, your breath hitching as you heard the distance between you and whatever was behind you shrink.
But then, your heart stopped as two strong hands gripped your waist and pulled you back, your back bumping into something solid and hard. "AHHHH!" you shrieked. "Please don't kill me! I swear, I didn't do any- anything," you screamed while feeling tears in your eyes.
And then you heard it, a laugh. Deep, unmistakable, and...familiar.
"Scared you, didn't I?" Joe rasped in your ear, his arms tightening around your waist.
Your heart was still pounding from the rush, "Joe!" you shouted, giving him a halfhearted shove and releasing yourself from his arms. "That wasn't funny! I thought you were some...masked psycho about to murder me,".
He reached out, placing his hands on your shoulders while stabling himself, "And this- And this is why you shouldn't watch Scream," he panted, catching his breath, the laughter still lingering in his eyes.
"Fuck you," you panted, coming from a place of playfulness and fun.
Joe's hands slid down to your waist, pulling you into him with one swift movement, "Aww, was my baby scared?" he pouted.
You stared into his eyes with irritation, "Yes." you muttered without hesitation.
"Aw, I'm sorry," he smiled, pushing your head into his chest as he swayed you back and forth, "But at least now we know how you'd last in a horror movie,".
You rolled your eyes before breaking out in a grin--you just couldn't help yourself, "Who knew Joey B was final girl material? I mean, look at those wheels," you teased.
"Damn right," he chuckled, then leaned down to place a kiss on your cheek. "I think you need to learn a few things from me. No way you should be that slow when your boyfriend is Joey Wheels,".
You let out an offended scoff before lightly slapping his chest, "I'm not that slow," you said.
"Mhmmm," he hummed, "Whatever helps you sleep at night,".
You shook your head before going back to his chest, "You're having one good Halloween and think you're the shit now, aren't you?".
"Precisely," he nodded, "But that's all you're doing, baby. You asked for this," he chuckled.
He did it to make you happy, which worked. And you did it to make him happy, which also worked. You two made amazing memories tonight, carefully uninstalling the bitter ones from his childhood and replacing them with happier ones. You loved to see him happy and carefree like this, you never wanted that smile to come off his face.
"Well, you scaring me is a good thing I guess. You're not the one scared anymore, I am," you smiled up at him. "Healing your inner child, one step at a time,".
-- -- --
A few hours later -- back at the house
"I didn't think that would be so fun," Joe said as he rummaged through his candy collection on the bed while you were in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. "You seriously have me questioning why I ever dreaded Halloween,".
You laughed from inside the bathroom, "It's because you didn't have me around to show you the ropes. I told you I'd change your mind!" you shouted just loud enough for him to hear you.
"My miracle worker," he chuckled, opening up a Snickers bar and taking a bite of the chocolatey treat.
Back in the bathroom, you were currently standing in front of the mirror, looking at the red, lacy lingerie that you had slipped on under your onesie before you left earlier. You knew that even though he'd complain about it, Joe would come through and make your wish come true. And in return, he deserved a treat when you both got back and you wanted to show him how much you appreciated him loosening up for you on a night that had never been his favorite.
He thought you were just in here, doing your skincare and slipping into your PJs, but instead, you were getting ready to give him the real treat he deserved. "He's going to love this," you smirked, pulling one of his old LSU shirts over your body along with your sleep shorts.
You grabbed one of Joe's favorite perfumes of yours, giving it a few spritzes around your body, before fluffing your hair, turning out the lights, and leaving the bathroom.
"Babe, you gotta try these watermelon sour patch kids," Joe said as he dug through the tiny packet and popped a few into his mouth.
You smiled at the sight before you--Joe sprawled out on the bed in just his boxers, looking effortlessly irresistible. His disheveled hair and relaxed posture were a stark contrast to the playful, innocent stitch he’d been just a few hours ago. It was like seeing two sides of him in one night, each one captivating in its own way.
"Insane duality as usual," you murmured, barely containing a grin as you took him in.
Once he heard you close the bathroom door, Joe's gaze tracked your every step as you walked back into the room, his eyes sparking with curiosity. He picked up on a subtle shift in your energy, the way your confidence was shining brighter than usual, making his smirk grow. He threw his half-finished candy onto the nightstand, leaning back against the soft headboard with his hands behind his head, looking entirely too pleased with himself. "Hi," he smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
You gave him a slow once over, taking note of every vein, every curve of his muscles, and especially that happy trail that led to one of your favorite things in the world. ""Hi," you said, giving him a devilish grin, your tone laced with heat. "Enjoy your candy?" you teased.
"Yeaahhh...," he trailed off, "You alright?" he asked a few seconds later once you stopped at the foot of the bed.
"Oh, I'm more than alright," you thought to yourself, clearing your throat and standing up straight. "Trick or Treat?" you smirked at him.
Joe raised an eyebrow at your question, especially because he could tell it was coming from a place of mischief. "What?" he asked.
"You heard me," you bit your lip and said. "Trick or Treat?".
Joe raised an eyebrow at your tone--it was light, a little heated, and incredibly playful. Was this going where he thought it was? "I think I’m going with treat,” he murmured, his voice dropping lower as he slowly leaned forward. “But I’m curious…just what kind of treat am I in for?”
"Hmmm, you know," you said while gazing deeply into his starry eyes, "The hot kind. The messy kind. The sexy kind,".
And as if on cue, you reached for the bottom of your shirt, quickly pulling the fabric up and over your head before throwing it at Joe's face, his eyes widening once he got a glimpse at the lacy red bra that covered the part of your body that Joe was insanely obsessed with. "Y/N..." he murmured, his heart skipping a beat once he saw you turn around so your back was facing him, your hair moving to the front which gave him the perfect view of the thin lace straps.
You pulled your shorts down, bending over so you could reach down to get them out of your feet and to also give Joe a generous view of your lace-covered ass.
"Fuck, baby," he groaned, the tent in his boxers growing at the sight of your toned, lace-covered body.
You flipped back around, watching as his hand absentmindedly inched closer to his erection, shifting it to feel momentary relief because of the way you were torturing him right now. You flashed him a playful grin before kneeling on the bed, your fingernails running up against his leg as you moved closer and closer to his torso.
"Baby, I-," he choked out as he felt your hand graze over his shaft.
"Shh, it's okay. Just lay back and relax. You earned this for doing good tonight. You did it for me, to see me happy, to see me smile. You had fun tonight and you did something out of your comfort zone, all for me. You deserve a treat for being so good to me, baby," you nodded, both your bodies now filled with heat and desire, the need to feel each other overpowering any other emotion.
You leaned down, your lips coming into contact with the fabric of his boxers as you pressed gentle kisses around his upper thighs. Joe tossed his head back at the sudden contact, and as your lips inched closer to his shaft, his body jerked while a string of sounds fell from his lips. "B- Baby, stop teasing," he mumbled, his hand stuffed into your hair as he lightly pulled on the strands. "I need y- you,".
You smirked at his faltering cockiness, then trailed your kisses up his body, following his happy trail. Your tongue glided along the curvature of each of his semi-visible abs, up to his pecs, and then to his neck.
You had shifted so that you were now comfortably seated in his lap, and Joe's hands were firmly placed on each side of your waist, slowly moving your hips back and forth against his shaft to feel relief.
You attached your lips to his neck, your goal was to leave as many golden tattoos as you could. "Mm, Y/N," he whimpered in your ear as he felt you suck harder on his favorite spot. "So good for me, baby," he sighed, his self-control being very close to being thrown out the window.
"I know," you smirked, moving to another spot on his neck to repeat the action. Your hand placed on his jaw as you moved his face to the side. Your tongue glided over the marks you left on his neck, a hiss coming from his lips at the slight burning sensation.
As the minutes passed by and you continued to tease him with your lips, he was getting more and more restless. And you could feel it. "Baby, please. I need to..I need to feel you around me," he whimpered again, pulling you out of his neck and meeting your firey eyes.
"Your wish is my command," you said, leaning in to capture his lips in a passionate kiss as you sat up on your knees, allowing him to pull down his boxers, his cock coming free and grazing against your thigh.
You leaned down to shift your lacy panties to the side, your wetness seeping through and dripping down onto Joe's lap, a throaty chuckle leaving his lips. "Even when you try to be in control, I still have you like this," he mumbled between the kiss as you grabbed his erection, using your thumb to spread the pre-cum along his slit before sliding it between your slick folds.
"We'll see," you smirked, sinking straight down onto his hard cock, a moan leaving his lips at the sudden contact.
"Y/N...," he moaned, his hands shifting down to grab your ass with a firm grip.
You placed your hands on his shoulders as you slid up and down his cock, your pace frantic and needy which matched the feeling you both shared in the moment. His head falls forward to rest on your shoulder, your hand inching into his hair as you pull him closer. His groans got louder, each one sending a jolt of pleasure throughout your body. "Yeah, you like that?" you whispered in his ear as you felt him buck into your core.
"Fuck, yeah," he moaned, his hands moving to grip your waist, the pads of his fingers digging deep into your skin. "Just like that, yeah,"
A shock of pleasure ripped through your veins, "You feel so good, Joey, sound so pretty for me," you moaned, feeling his tip hit your sweet spot as you leaned into him, his fully arms wrapping around your torso to steady you.
"My girl, you're doing so good, Y/N. I love...I love fucking you," he whimpered, his hips starting to snap up into yours in a way that drove you crazy. Each push of his cock into your wet heat felt like you were being brought into a new world; so intense and lively.
"Joey, ah," you moaned. "You're so...you make me feel so good," you moaned, feeling the way he gripped your hips and guided you back and forth on his cock.
You felt his hand inch up your back, his fingers finding the clasp of your lingerie top and undoing it in one easy motion. He quickly pulled the straps down, throwing the lacy piece across the room before attaching his lips to the skin of your breasts. "Oh," you whimpered, leaning back to give him enough room to work his magic on you.
"See?" he panted as he nipped at your skin. "This was for me, b- but, ah," he moaned once he felt you clench around him for a second, "I still have you like this,".
"You'll always have me like this, Joe," you whimpered, your legs starting to burn because of your movements. You threaded your fingers into his hair again, pulling him out of your chest and up to your lips, "Fuck, baby," you whined before he crashed his lips onto yours, his hips snapping up into yours even harder than before.
You picked up your movements as both your moans got louder and louder, the room now filled with sounds of skin hitting skin and your breathless whimpers. "Joe, I..I'm so close, mmph, fuck," you whined, dropping your head onto his chest as you slid up and down his shaft, your core starting to clench his cock more frequently.
"Shit, me too," he choked out, his breath hitting your ear as he melted into you with each rock of your hips and thrust of his thick cock. "I'm gonna cum, fuck...Y/N, I-," he said, getting quieter as he leaned into you more, his cock starting to twitch as he repeatedly slammed into your sweet spot.
You felt your eyes start to roll back, both your bodies moving at an uneven pace, "Cum for me, Joey. You did so good tonight, let it go," you whimpered in his ear.
"Oh, fuck," he hissed, "'Fuck, fuck. I f- forgot a condom, baby. W- where-,".
"In me," you moaned. "Cum in me, it's okay," you whined, your bundle of nerves begging for release as you felt Joe's cock thrust into your core with an intensity he could only display in front of you.
"Y/N," he whimpered, his cock stilling inside you after one final, rough thrust that caused your legs to shake. "Ahh, fuck," he hissed, throwing his head back against the headrest as his warm release filled your dripping core, the feeling of him filling you was something he could never get over. It made him feel so damn good, and you just loved to feel him inside you, any way shape, and form.
"Oh, fuck," you screamed, gripping his shoulders again as you guided yourself along his cock, "I- I'm-,".
"I've got you," he moaned, opening his eyes and briefly staring at the ceiling before looking back down at you and the way your lip was between your teeth, your eyes were screwed shut, and how your hair was sticking to your skin from the thin layer of sweat on your body.
He moved his hand down to your slick entrance, his thumb finding your clit, and all it took was a few seconds for you to come crashing down on his body. The expert movement of his skillful hands wasn't just useful on the football field. Hell, they might have been best used on you and not on the ball he throws every day. "Joe!" you screamed, falling into his chest as your core rhythmically clenched around his shaft, a wave of pleasure crashing over you while you felt your release drip onto his lap.
"God, I'm fucking obsessed with you," he mumbled as he peppered kisses around your neck, up your jaw, and to your mouth as you chanted his name over and over.
A few seconds later, you caught your breath, "Holy shit," you panted, your legs still shaking from your high as your body fell limp against his. "Fuck, that was...,".
He chuckled lowly, "Hot? Intense? Sweet?" his voice raspy in your ear as his hand slid up and down your back, tracing invisible shapes into your skin.
"Precisely," you giggled, pressing a kiss to his muscular chest. "Happy Halloween, babe. Hope you enjoyed your treat,".
He tilted your chin up, catching your gaze with that soft, unguarded look that always melted you. “Happy Halloween, baby. Thanks for tonight,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to your forehead before pulling you close again. As you snuggled against him, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your cheek. His hand slid up to cradle your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. "You gave me the treat of a lifetime tonight. In more ways than just one," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I’ll never forget it,".
"I love you," you mumbled.
"I love you too," he smiled, dropping another kiss on your forehead before getting lost in your warmth.
"You know...since you're pretty comfortable with Halloween now...next year, we should throw our own Halloween Party at the house for everyone," you smiled against his chest.
Joe snapped his eyes open, "Woahh, baby steps," he laughed.
You couldn't help but smile, knowing just how far you'd come in the quest to make Mr. Anti-Halloween, Mr. Pro-Halloween. "Alright, alright," you teased, giving his chest a playful tap, "But we'll see what the future holds. Maybe you'll be the one planning it next year,".
His laughter vibrated through his chest, and he tightened his arms around you, his smile so soft and content. "You’ve already got me wrapped around your finger. I’ll do whatever you want, baby" he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.
"Good," you beamed. "I've already got your costume for next year in mind,".
"And what is it?" he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
You bit your lip and hid your face in his chest again before saying, "I know you said for our eyes only...but...I wanna see you in it as many times as I can,".
"Nope," he shook his head, already knowing what you were going to say. "No way in hell,".
"Yessss," you giggled while patting his chest. "You'd look so fucking sexy, I think every girl in Ohio would drop to their knees,".
Joe playfully rolled his eyes, "You know what? Fine. I'll wear the Joker costume, but only on one condition," he said.
"Okay, I'm listening," you nodded, your excitement bubbling beneath your skin already.
He smirked as he leaned down to level his mouth with your ear, "We repeat what we just did, right now," he rasped. "Right now, maybe again tomorrow night, and after we do the whole 'our eyes only' thing, and maybe make it a Halloween tradition and do this all over again next year,".
You gently leaned up, pressing your lips to his before saying, "Deal, Joker," then feeling his hands wrap around your hips and flip you over on the bed.
--the end--
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niccocum · 1 day ago
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Now that I thought a bit more about it... This is a good point that illustrates gender identity.
Yes, yes, how can I make a post about tomatoes into a gender issue, but hear me out.
Botanically tomatoes are berries. They know they are berries and have always known. But then humans came around and split up all things into „fruit“ or „vegetable“ and threw tomatoes in with other vegetables. It does not change the fact that tomatoes are berries. And they might feel like „vegetable“ does not quite fit with them. So they strive to be recognized as what their true self „berry“ suggests: Being a fruit.
And then you might actually have cucumbers that are just fine with being classified as vegetable. They fully embrace being vegetables. So nobody cares about them because they accept their human labeling.
And then you might have those who don’t care about „fruit“ or „vegetable“ and just want to be recognized as tomatoes, or pumpkin, or cucumber because THAT is their true identity.
The point being… botanically, scientifically, biologically, there is no concept of „fruit/vegetable“ it is absolutely a human made binary system. 
And so is gender.
(And don't get me started about Mushrooms, they happily sit there and challenge humans binary system of "plants" and "animals". Go you mushrooms!)
Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for “not being a vegetable” because they're technically a fruit when:
A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.
B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.
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cecoeur · 11 hours ago
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How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
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avelera · 2 days ago
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Ugh, sorry, one last political point because it’s the day for it and this is bugging me.
Democrats and people on the left in the US have got to knock it off with this whole, “All Trump voters are obviously stupid” thing.
I’m sure it’s satisfying to believe, but it is simply not true, and making assumptions about your opponents that aren’t true is how you lose elections.
Half of the voting population of this country is not stupid and it is ludicrous to insist on believing that. Trump voters include doctors, lawyers, business owners, people with PhDs and graduate degrees, and people who attend college courses for fun. They are, unfortunately for many of us including yours truly, our parents and relatives and I at least know for a fact in those cases that they are well educated, well traveled people.
Assuming these people are just stupid and uninformed is, in fact, stupid. It a simplistic view of the world that is going to make your platforms lose if you embrace it and refuse to look deeper.
In practice, people engage in politics because they want the greatest happiness and prosperity for the largest number of people that they care about.
Everything after that is just haggling over price.
For example, the Left/Democrats might believe that the great amount of happiness and prosperity is brought to the largest number of people they care about when an advanced degree is available to everyone without leaving them in crippling debt, when people can age with social services that allow them dignity, when billionaires and companies cannot exploit their workers, and when peace and just causes are allowed to flourish around the world, including the education and enfranchisement of women, and the long term health of our planet. I personally believe that brings long term prosperity to us all.
Left and Right wing voters right now both probably agree that everyone is happier and more prosperous if they can afford a house and have a job that covers their needs and then some. How to get to that is the sticking point that they disagree on.
Right wing voters also want prosperity for themselves and those they care for and what they disagree on with the Left is how to achieve that. I’m not going to go into their platforms here because the whole point of this post is not assuming things about your opponents.
Now in order to persuade people to hold more Left leaning views, you need to make the case for why what you care about is a thing that they should care about and, more importantly, how it enhances the happiness and prosperity of them and those they care about.
Otherwise, you are asking them to vote against their own interests, which no one engages in politics to do, at least not on purpose (even if it is the ultimate outcome in many cases).
If you don’t care about making this argument to opposite side, then fine, you’ve already lost and you deserve to keep losing elections.
You deserve to lose because you’re not making a case for why anyone should support your causes in order to gain happiness and prosperity for themselves and those they care about, including expanding the field of people they care about, and it is ludicrous to expect people to do that without being persuaded either intellectually or emotionally.
This is what finding common ground and building coalitions is about, even if you don’t agree on every point. And if you self isolate and stick to your purity, you deserve to lose because politics is about how we govern large groups of people towards a common goal that, ultimately, is best simplified as the goal of their greatest happiness and prosperity.
Good faith politics is negotiating over what that means. Because resources are finite we can’t all get everything we want all at once. And not everyone agrees on everything so you need to prioritize the best possible allotment of happiness and prosperity for the short and long term, and that’s when we get into the nitty gritty of all the horse trading that happens in politics etc etc.
And you get into things like billionaires having outsized ability to enact their own happiness and prosperity but here’s the thing, many people especially on the right go along with those views because they believe (rightfully or not) that those goals will increase their own happiness and prosperity as well and if you don’t agree you’ve got to explain to them intellectually or emotionally why that is and provide and alternate platform or path for them to gain it that is more effective by at least some measure of that value.
Anyway, at the risk of this becoming a political science thesis from someone who isn’t a political scientist, just an amateur academic, tl;dr please knock it off with assuming everyone who disagrees with you is stupid, it is a losing proposition and it doesn’t get us anywhere near the goals we want to achieve politically, ie, the greatest happiness and long term prosperity of the people we care about.
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nanenna · 3 days ago
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Detective Work on the Other Side
We getting into my own HCs now, enjoy the lore!
Sleep King Master post (it should actually work this time)
---
It felt weird sitting in the Specter Speeder as Phantom with his parents. It wasn’t that long ago that he’d finally told his parents himself, but just like Jazz had said they’d loved and accepted him as is. Danny was still getting used to it.
Danny pointed out the windshield, “That island there should be good.” It was little more than an oversized boulder with some grass on it, but it was big enough for the speeder and was pretty close to Johnny and Kitty’s lair, so it would do. Once they landed, the three Fentons disembarked so Danny could let the lovers out of Soup Time.
“Ugh, finally!” Johnny griped once they were set free.
Danny crossed his arms, “How do you keep getting into Amity? We put extra protections on the portal, no one should be able to get through.”
“Your dinky portal isn’t the only one in the whole world,” Kitty said with an eye roll.
“You just gotta know where to look,” Johnny added with a wink.
“Well stop it! I don’t want to have to repeat a grade!”
“Then stop chasing us. Jeez, no one’s forcing you.”
“Danny, sweetie,” Mom interrupted, “ask them about the summoning.”
“Summoning?” Kitty asked, perking up.
“It’s really concerning,” Dad said while scratching his head.
“Yeah, I was asleep so I don’t really remember it but I got summoned last night.”
“How’d you sleep through a summoning?” Kitty asked incredulously with a sneer.
Johnny just nodded, “Damn, wish I could sleep through a summoning.”
“I don’t know!” Danny threw his hands up in the air. “The really weird part is they were trying to summon Pariah!”
That got Johnny and Kitty to stop laughing. “Oh shit, really?”
“Johnny! Don’t cuss around the baby!” Kitty smacked his arm lightly.
“You owe the swear jar,” Dad boomed eagerly.
Johnny just rolled his eyes.
“That’s what we were told,” Mom cut in. “There was a cult that was trying to summon the Ghost King and somehow got Danny.”
“Wait, were they trying to summon Pariah by name or the Ghost King title?” Kitty asked eagerly.
“Ghost King,” Mom said decisively.
“Oh no,” Danny said. His grades may be in the toilet, but even he could put two and two together. “No, there’s no way I’m the Ghost King!”
“Maybe,” Kitty said while looking Danny up and down.
“Not like it means anything,” Johnny said airily.
Danny thought the matter over, “How does it not mean anything?”
“Well Pariah just declared himself the Ghost King one day, others only listened because he forced them to. And it’s not like we need a king, we’ve had the council ever since.”
“Ugh, stupid eye balls,” Danny griped. “But yeah, if he just decided to make himself king I guess it doesn’t really mean anything.”
Mom sighed deeply, “You mean like Alexander the Great? Or Ghengis Khan? Or William the Conquerer? Or anyone else from history who declared himself in charge and then killed anyone who didn’t listen?”
Danny drooped, “Okay, so maybe it does matter. But how would that even work? Why am I the Ghost King now?”
“Dunno,” Johnny said with a shrug. “It’s not like you even have the crown or ring.”
“No, Pariah still has the ring and last I saw the crown Vlad had it.”
“Good old Vladdie,” Dad boomed eagerly, “holding onto a powerful artifact like that to keep it safe!”
“So shouldn’t Vlad be the new Ghost King?” Danny asked with a shudder.
“Well the summoning circle thinks you earned the title somehow, so I guess it’s you now.” Johnny snickered as he got on his bike, Kitty quickly hopping on behind him. “Anyway, see ya ‘round, your majesty.” Johnny sneered the last part, then the pair both laughed like Johnny had just told the best joke ever as he zoomed off.
“Well I’m proud of you!” Dad slapped Danny’s back so hard he face planted. “Fighting that nasty Ghost King was really brave of you, and look at you now! Our boy, the Ghost King!” Dad wiped away a tear of deep paternal pride.
Danny had already floated himself up off the ground and dusted himself off, completely unharmed. “Thanks Dad, that means a lot.” And it really did! He was used to his parents being proud of him, not for his grades obviously, but just… in general. Or something. To have his dad say he’s proud of things Danny did as Phantom just… hit different.
“Is there anyone we can ask about this? The council that ruffian mentioned?” Mom looked thoughtful.
“Ugh no, the council hates my guts for some reason.”
“Well… if they’ve been in charge since Pariah was put in the sarcophagus and you’re the king now, maybe they feel threatened?” Dad asked, rubbing his chin.
“That’s probably it, sweetiepie. They’re just threatened by you.” Mom gently pat his arm.
“That’s so weird! I don’t even want to be king, I’d probably be a terrible one anyway.”
Dad gasped, “Danno! That’s just not true! Sure, you’re a bit young to be king now, but in a few years I bet you’d be a great king!”
“Pass.” Danny did not want to add a crown to his disaster of a life. Especially if it meant he’d have to be a bully to make others listen to him anyway, it’s not like anyone listened to Pariah.
“So honey, anyone else we can ask about the Ghost King? Or summoning circles? I’m really worried about you randomly getting summoned by creepy cults.” And boy, did Mom have a point about that! Yikes!
“Uh… maybe Frostbite?” The yeti did keep calling him “Great One” and that had to mean something, right? And if not he could hopefully point them in the right direction.
“Wonderful!” Mom chirped as she started herding Danny back into the Speeder. “And along the way you can answer a few small questions about your fight with Pariah.”
“I’m sorry about taking the Ecto-skeleton without asking,” Danny blurted out, face turning green as it grew colder.
“It’s alright, baby boy,” Mom pinched his cheek, “we understand why you did it and why you felt you had to at the time. But never do it again, okay?”
“Yeah,” Danny said miserably as they got back into the speeder. Once Danny had pointed them in the direction of the Far Frozen, he sat criss cross applesauce in the air. “So uh… questions?”
“Oh yeah! What questions did you have, fudgecakes?”
“Well…” Mom started but hesitated before continuing slowly. “This sounds like it might be a right of conquest situation.”
Danny had no idea what that meant. Well he knew what the words individually meant, and he had a pretty good idea what the phrase meant generally, but he had no idea what the rules or details were.
“Was this an official challenge?” Mom asked when Danny only stared blankly at her.
“Uh… maybe?” Danny tried thinking back to the fight, “What would make it an official challenge?”
“Did the Ghost King say he accepted your challenge? Or challenge you?”
“He uh…” Danny tried to remember the times he’d bantered with Pariah. “He said he accepted my terms,” Danny said with a squeak near the end.
Mom just nodded, “Right, so it sounds like a challenge. And did you take his crown at any point in the fight?”
Danny tried to remember the end of the fight, and well… “Yeah, I knocked it off him right before shoving him back into the sarcophagus. But Vlad had the key that actually locked it, and then he had the crown the last time I saw it.”
“Danny, sweetie, Vlad didn’t challenge the Ghost King to single combat, and he didn’t take the crown as part of that challenge.”
“Oh,” was all Danny could say as the realization of what he’d unwittingly done sank in. “Well… shit.”
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cyarsk52-20 · 2 days ago
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The center of black excellence is essentially going to be a funeral for black excellence. Hey Charles Coleman, hope your one proud Howard Alum. Fuck all of you that caused this to happen
I keep seeing posts like, "Well, maybe Dems will learn from this, and the next time..." What fucking next time? Fascists don't give up power freely. Fascists don't have elections (as we know them). IT'S DONE. WHY CAN'T THEY SEE THIS?
there’s no next time because it’s the last time
Every demographic that isn't Black drastically increased their support for Trump. When we say Black people have no permanent allies...we mean Black people have no permanent allies.
I’m at the point where. I need co-conspirators, fvck allies. The fight is their own. So they can’t quit. Unlike allies, the minute you do or say something they don’t like, they withdraw their support because it was always contingent on your obedience to them
All that energy spent trying to liberate the world needs to be retracted and refocused to our communities.
*gripping your shoulders and shaking you* you gotta promise me one thing, if nothing else. you have to promise me to live, do you hear me. and if it's for nothing else but spite, LIVE. donald trump wants you to feel defeated and alone. let's show him and all the americans who voted for him that we will not stay quiet, we will not be devided and we will LIVE. we will survive that 78-year old felon, we will OUTLIVE him. so please reach out to friends and family, reach out to each other and STAND TOGETHER.
PLEASE, LIVE!
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siyotani · 2 days ago
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YOUR NEXT LEVEL UP 💵 . ݁₊ ⊹ ( posted by siyotani )
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BACK TO BROWSING ⭑ EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
a reading based on the guide towards your self improvement and everything you need to know regarding your next level up. content and media posted is for entertainment purposes only.
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. . . ⭑ COLUMN ONE for this pile, i’m sensing quite a bit of stagnation and delays in regards to your current state. it’s almost as if you’re in a trance or in autopilot mode. there’s a lot of reluctance to move forward and it could be because you have a chronic fear of failure. you don’t want to work tirelessly day and night just to never be able achieve your goals or for it to never amount to anything. you wanna be somebody and to chase after your highest aspirations because you’re really a dreamer at heart, but somewhere along the way, you’ve grown intimated by the exertion it would take to get there. you put far too much pressure on yourself and because of this, it’s like you wish you could take shortcuts and jump to the finish line. but hon, rome wasn’t built in a day. it took blood, sweat and tears to build that empire and it’ll take the same amount of effort and will power to make your dreams come true. i know it’s not always pleasant to hear, but there is no substitute for hard work.
for your next level up, you will need to stay focused and diligent to achieve your goals. i see you becoming motivated to do better for yourself in the future as well as strengthening your mind and spirit in order to persevere through any obstacles that may come your way as you rise to the top. you will be finishing some sort of strenuous project that you’ve been putting off for quite some time now. for example, you may have been working towards some sort physical fitness goal or perhaps, doing something related to school or your job. no matter what your aim is, know that you will see the fruits of your labor.
you will be somebody and you will make it — you just need to believe it. do not allow yourself to be discouraged by the bitter comments of others and do not allow their words to tear you shreds because once you learn to stick to your guns and prioritize yourself, you will shine brighter than they could have ever imagined. and be generous with yourself, hon. give yourself the space to make mistakes and to learn from them. taste every sweet opportunity God has to offer to you and take your time transforming into the best version of yourself. life isn’t a race and there is no winner. as long as you dedicate yourself to working towards your own happiness, success is guaranteed.
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. . . ⭑ COLUMN TWO this pile has a similar feel to the first group, but there’s more of a burnt out undertone to your reading. your energy is very scattered and chaotic from trying to balance too many things on your plate to the point where i feel like you’re being distracted from your own feelings and your true purpose. there is so much more to life than running errands, working and the anxiety that fills your every atom. your existence is meant to be riddled with joy and laughter as you live every moment without a care in the world. what you desperately need right now is to relax. you can’t be there for everyone and for everything.
your next level up requires structure. there’s an emphasis on prioritizing yourself. clean up any clutter whether it be literal or figuratively and take in a deep breath. then, do the things that you enjoy doing. bake a pie, soak in a warm bath, polish your nails and really reconnect with yourself on a physical, mental and spiritual level. self care is the first step towards your new beginning. there needs to be a certain level of serenity and confidence too.
i’m sensing that you may be a real worry wart. you dwell too much on the past and the future. when you’re not beating yourself up about what you could’ve done differently with your life, you torture yourself with negative thoughts and “ what ifs “. it’s like you have a constant headache and you never feel like you’re going to be good enough. but, i’m here to tell you that you are more than worthy. you’re gonna get it together, thrive and receive every blessing that you could ever hope for. all that you need to do is take a little more time out for yourself. personal management is very important and it’s not rocket science to know that some mindfulness can go a long way too. once you apply these things to your routine, it’s like suddenly you will see certain situations through a whole new perspective. the tasks that stressed you out before will be like a piece of cake and everything will seem to just fall into place. always remember to put yourself first, hon. don’t wear yourself out trying to please others either. you are all you got, so take care of your mind, body and spirit — you’ll glow up overnight !
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. . . ⭑ COLUMN THREE wow, it seems like lots of change is in store for this pile. i get the sense that this has been a long time coming because you have struggled tremendously with the cards dealt to you throughout the duration of your life. shitty relationships, financial troubles, and general confusion about your direction and purpose may be all of the things that have plagued your mind and spirit relentlessly. i also feel that you may be no stranger to self sabotage — turning to bad habits and behaviors in attempt to soothe yourself. it’s really okay though. your sorrowful pain and heartache have not been all for naught and they have built a true strength from within that will be essential for rebirth.
for your next level up, your resilience will finally pay off. it’s like you’ve been outrunning so many things for so long that you’ve lost sight of the finish line, but what you aren’t aware of is that it’s a mere few feet in front of you. victory is already yours, hon, just a little more vigor and push is required. i know it’s cliche, but don’t give up now. the world is in need of more people like you; people who take their biggest weakness and transforms it into excellency.
not everyone could have handled the bad experiences you have lived through. they would have been crushed by the extreme pressure and the aftermath that comes with it which is why you need to stand up, recognize the pure badass that you are and start spinning your straw into gold. you have what it takes to achieve whatever your heart desires because it’s already yours, so tune out anyone who tells you different. at the end of the day, the people who try to tear you down are hateful and intimidated by the intensity of your power. just continue to make good decisions for yourself and the rest will follow.
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bopero · 2 days ago
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sunspots
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summary - a collection of hamzah’s lack of self control when it comes to you. warnings - swearing, reader is a kpop stan lol note - hai :3 i have been so obsessed with hamzah lately i had to get it out of my system. this is a side blog as im too embarrassed to post on my main fic blog. enjoy and send ideas!
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polycule reveal - out of character #100
The podcast starts like any other. Hamzah and Martin sit in the middle of the couch, with Mandy and you on either side of them. It’s the first episode that has you featured in it, and Hamzah is quick to settle any nerves you have with a soft smile and a squeeze of your shoulder. “So, yeah guys. There’s another member in our polycule now, this is Hamzah’s contribution.” Martin points towards you. Hamzah shakes his head, “Alright, bro…”. “Does that mean I get a share of the YouTube channel? Mandy, have they ever given you money?” Mandy clicks her tongue and continues in her deadpan voice, “Um, no. Basically they keep me in their dungeon until they need more views. I’d run away if I were you, honestly.” You pretend to look nervously between Hamzah and Martin, “Honestly I didn’t wanna say it but the basement Hamzah keeps me in is super gross.” “I don’t like this bit. Viewers, please be advised I do not keep my girlfriend in a basement for views. I don’t know about Martin, though.” “Dang it, first episode and they’re already making us look like idiots, Mandy. We need to try harder.”
becoming bts - out of character #104
The episode is you, Hamzah, and Martin. Hamzah is sat obviously much closer to you (which the comments are quick to mention, laughing at the lack of personal space he gives you.) “Yeah, a lot of the Slushies have been asking me if I’m a kpop stan. My ult bias-” Hamzah throws his hands into the air dramatically as he sees you pull a small photocard out of your wallet. A familiar face makes him groan loudly, “Oh, don’t even get me started on this fool! I am sick and tired of seeing him everywhere!” You proudly show off the photocard to the camera despite Hamzah’s childish complaints. Martin leans over to take a look at the photo in your hands, “Bro, what’s the big deal? Is this like challenging your alphaness?” You laugh loudly and Hamzah smiles, betraying the annoyed facade he’s putting on, “No! He just haunts me. She knows when his birthday is and shit and what he ate for breakfast that day, like bro,” he turns to you, pointing at you accusingly, “You don’t ask what I eat for breakfast.” Martin grabs his shoulder, as if to calm him down, “Bro. You know what this means. You have to defend your woman.” Hamzah turns to Martin and before you can question them, they begin singing together and waving their arms in the air, “Shoot dat boy in da head, shoot dat boy in da head!” The episode ends with you deadpanning at the camera as they chant beside you.
don’t play this game at 3 am (not clickbait!!!)
Martin and Hamzah had listened to their viewers, your first feature on the channel being in a Resident Evil gameplay. The comments are filled with ‘i slushed everywhere when i saw yn in the thumbnail’ and ‘hamzah holding onto yn everytime there’s a jumpscare boyy aren’t u supposed to b da man?’ You sit between the two men who both inadvertently curl into you as the creepy aura permeates outside the game as well. Martin dramatically holds onto his head as you shoot bullets into the grossly looking zombies on the screen, “Oh, god they’re gonna eat us out! Quick, grab more ammo!” “Ok, I don’t think they’re gonna do all that-” They both jump as a loud, sharp groan comes from the speaker. Hamzah in particular lets out his signature high-pitched scream. Martin seems to break character and laughs aloud as Hamzah shakes his head in embarrassment, turning away from the camera so it won’t catch the bright blush on his cheeks when you coo at him. “Aww, did you pee yourself?” Martin tries to speak through laughter, “I think you did, dude there’s a wet spot-” Hamzah quickly denies it, “Ok, stop lying to all the slushies, bro, I did not pee myself. I’m sick of this, turn off this trash ass game-” “It’s ok, babe. I’ll protect you, I’m your Leon.” Martin waves a blushing Hamzah over, “Yeah, come on you big baby. It’s not even that scary-wait don’t go in there-“
vacation
Hamzah had convinced you to create your own channel, due to the growing comments begging him to convince you to do so. You hadn’t expected much, but it’d at least be a nice way to share sweet memories between the two of you. The vlog starts with you sat in front of your vanity, as you complete your routine. You talk animatedly about the vacation you’re on with your boyfriend, mentioning the beautiful sights you’ve seen and the delicious food you’ve had so far. You don’t notice but Hamzah walks into the room, quietly sneaking into view when he notices you’re filming. He’s too sweet to scare you on purpose, so he only places the bag of food in front of you and waves towards the camera, “Hiii, it’s me, Hamzah. Remember me?” You push him out of frame, “Ew, get your big head out of here!” The bottom half of his body remains in frame as you look up at him from the seat, “What?! This is how youtubers act behind the camera guys, leave hate comments below, please.” He leans down to be to your level, staring longingly as you get ready. He imagines this is how it feels to watch art being made. You don’t notice his blatant staring, “Tell them how nice it is here.” He’s pulled out of his thoughts with your voice, “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. Think we’ll bring our kids here cause kids like beaches. Right?” You both seem to forget the camera is even there as you turn to him, “We should take them to Legoland.” He lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Really? That’s the best you got?” You give him a side eye that makes him laugh harder, “Ok, get out, this is my video.” Hamzah only waves at the camera before giving you a gentle kiss on top of your head and leaving. It’s barely in frame, but it’s enough to show the burning warmth he holds for you.
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bkdk-bylerthings · 2 days ago
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UPDATED THIS POST GO READ THE END I ADDED MORE I MISSED BEFORE
They gave us SUCH A BIG BYLER HINT in the reel that @/strangerthingstv posted on instagram today popping off with the celebration of stranger things day
Let me explain, I might be reaching with the first part of this but you never know
Credit to @pixidivine for posting about two of the frames which made me go back and rewatch the reel to analyze it more.
First part I want to talk about is Dustin asking Mike and Lucas if they are both seriously this Dense. When he says: “this dense” it lands on Mike and stays on Mike till he is done talking then goes to Lucas making Mike the subject of this.
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This could mean Mike being clueless to his own feelings for Will or in season 4 of him being clueless about the lying coming from Will and that that Will likes him.
Second part, where I got the idea from which is shown in the reel RIGHT AFTER THE DENSE COMMENT:
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Nancy asking Mike if the way he’s been acting was because of Will then we have Joyce saying “Ring a ding ding” like the sound of bells going off when something is correct. ‼️
They did this on purpose, because with these videos promoting a movie/TV series/anything they take clips of different scenes to put together to make a cohesive sentence so it makes sense to the subject of what the video is talking about, which in this case it’s about ST day and Rewatching ST on ST day…but is it??
That leads to my next part which is this:
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There is a double meaning here that most people won’t think about.
Obviously we have the 1st part talking about the special day which is ST day, then we have Mike saying “what’s exciting about this” then Joyce says: “just watch”
Interesting because we already know ST is exciting and a good show, so good point Michael what is exciting about ST day? Hmmm HINTS and NEW N E W INFO—we don’t have to rewatch it to know that it’s an exciting show. What is exciting is what they give us in the reel, Joyce saying “Just watch” is a double meaning the front meaning MEANING to rewatch the show, the hidden meaning is to JUST WATCH THE REEL
Which gives us THE BYLER HINT RIGHT AFTER THAT ‼️ I find it interesting that all the words throughout this reel are about ST and watching it and how exciting it is but the Will comment???? That’s totally out of place!!
The order of these frames so it makes more sense, u can also just watch the video to understand what I’m trying to say:
1 “Is a very special day”
2 “It’s ST day”
3 “what’s exciting about this?”
4 “just watch”
EDIT: (4.5) “Why?”
5 “are you both seriously”
6 “this dense”
7 “I thought it was bc of will”
8 “Ring a ding ding
EDIT bc I totally missed this in the reel too omg— ok here we have a frame of El asking “why” after Joyce says “just watch”
(And maybe an interesting hint to actually go watch the 1st episode bc byler was there all along)
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This is even more questioning!! Right after we get Mike’s Questioning!! It makes you want to think again, like didn’t Joyce answer Mike already with a “Just watch” why is El now asking
After “why” is THEN when we gets Dustin’s “are you both seriously this Dense”
Which is LITERALLY asking WHY THE DOUBLE QUESTION, WHY is this reel and what is the reel actually trying to tell us
Then ofc after “this dense” It’s like They give us an answer to all the questions:
“I thought it was Because of Will”
Omg so after two asks, Dustin being fed up with what ur not understanding, we get a answer
“Ring a ding ding” 🤯
OR
GO BACK TO THE FIRST EP, AND WHY??? EL ASKS?? WHY IS DUSTIN FED UP??
THEY GIVE US THE ANSWER WHY TO WATCH IT AGAIN OMG
(Sry guys I’m back tracking on my theory holy shit)
THE ANSWER WAS “I thought it was bc of will”
WHICH IS DIRECTED AT MIKEEEE
“RING A DING DING”
*slams paper on table that reads ‘byler is real’*
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agentbluefox · 19 hours ago
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Every single state in the US has verbiage allowing abortion (removal of a live, viable fetus) if the life of the mother is in danger or compromised. You can look up the laws - in fact, I encourage you to. You deserve to know your rights, not just what you’re being told. Knowing your rights will save lives. In addition, every doctor follows (or is expected to follow) the Hippocratic oath to do no harm. Knowingly allowing a patient to die is medical malpractice At Best and has nothing to do with abortion laws or Roe v Wade.
Removal of ectopic pregnancies and any type of removal, surgical or chemical, of a dead or miscarried fetus, are not abortions and are not classified as such. The arguments I’ve seen state that these types of pregnancies have heartbeats and so cannot be removed. A quick google search will disprove that.
This varies based on personal opinion - certainly there are those who will oppose abortion under any circumstances - but most politicians (including Trump) have stated there should be exceptions in cases of rape, incest, and even fetal anomaly. Not to mention, the overturning of Roe v Wade pushed the entire issue of abortion back to the states, so that the federal government ISN’T in charge of your abortion access or your medical decisions beyond, again, when the mother’s life is at risk. However, further pushing for singular universal government healthcare will put any and all medical decisions into the hands of the federal government. There’s an old saying that if you don’t want the other side to have just as much power and control as you have right now, you should limit that power and control.
As another poster said, the trans topic is a separate issue and once again, I encourage anyone affected to read the bills that were passed under the Trump administration and under the Biden/Harris administration. I worked in a school (albeit a small one), and was ‘loaned' to a few public schools through both administrations, in what used to be a fairly conservative part of the country. Never under any circumstances are teachers to be alone, unsupervised with a child. Nor should they be. Unfortunately, sexual assault is far too common in the school system. But unless the constitution is going to be overturned and every non-discrimination and child-protective policy thrown out the window, nobody should be legally checking children’s genitals. I’m guessing OP is relying on the “don’t say gay” bill passed in Florida as proof all that will soon be legal. I encourage you to read that bill too if you can. Once again, a whole separate topic.
I don’t say any of this to attack op, though I keep seeing posts and videos like this, all repeating what are essentially talking points. And all this does is further fear, based largely on assumption and emotion. That’s a dangerous combination for anyone, but especially for those who might be affected. Start asking questions, start reading the laws that affect your own body, your own freedoms, and those of the people you care about.
To the men who voted for Donald Trump today:
When your girlfriend gets pregnant, and you’re not ready to become a father, and you’re forced into a position that cripples you emotionally, financially and irreversibly, remember: you did this.
When your sister’s pregnancy turns out to be ectopic, and she can’t get the life-saving medical care she needs and dies a completely pointless, preventable death, remember: you did this.
When your 12-year-old daughter is raped by her soccer coach — after he’s legally allowed to strip off her pants and peep at her genitals, because the existence of trans kids terrifies you — and she steals your shotgun and kills herself in your garage, remember, first and foremost: you did this.
Hundreds of thousands of people are going to die because of the decision you made today.
You did that.
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santanasaintmendes · 3 days ago
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g’day mate how are ya?
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Part7! to The Cosmic Girl Records!
summary: new year, new you, plus your new job! which also comes with a few difficulties when you have a big insta following and no pr training ollie bearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader
fc!: just some random photos off pinterest, all credits go to the rightful owners of the images used below
warnings: swearing, insensitive jokes, mention of being held at gunpoint, if any of these are triggering please scroll away!!
a/n: finally got the motivation to make the 7th part to the cosmic girl records also reader is 2 days younger than Ollie! Also if u get tagged by accident IM SO SORRY i swear it’s not on purpose. Also Lewis is driving for mercedes with kimi in this universe, i should probably make a post about the grid for this universe, anyways enjoy!
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liked by olliebearman, francocolapinto, landonorris, lilymhe, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc and 3,920,443 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: new year, new me AANNND NEW JOB 
tagged olliebearman 
olliebearman: but NOT a new man, just to be clear 
 unfortunatelyy/n: hey there mr jealous wanna get off my insta page maybe 
 olliebearman: ☹️
landonorris: i feel like you say new year new me too often and nothing changes 
 unfortunatelyy/n: u know just how ruin everything 😔
 landonorris: that is true but you don’t have to point it out‼️
 user1: bro’s just accepting it at this point 😭
user2: SHE’S BACKKKK AND BETTERR THIS TIME 
liked by unfortunatelyy/n
mercedesamgf1: can’t wait to see you in the garage this season 💪
 unfortunatelyy/n: 💪💪
georgerussell64: Love? EWWWWWW
 unfortunatelyy/n: such an anti romantic. i’m telling carmen 
 georgerussell64: no wait 
 unfortunatelyy/n: poor mr russell. screenshotted or you may know it - screen grabbing 
 unfortunatelyy/n: or at least that’s what old people call it 
 georgerussell64: you dare? you dare call ME OLD?
 georgerussell64: HAVE U SEEN ALONSO (no offence mate)
 fernandoalo_oficial: um offence taken? 
 unfortunatelyy/n: WOAH u cannot be going around roasting rookies like that george 
 user2: SHE KNOWS 
 user3: of course she knows, she’s probably the only on there that even knows how to properly use instagram 
 user4: the sad truth. sad but true. liked by unfortunatelyy/n
 unfortunatelyy/n: very true indeed 
user5: i fear that y/n is the only one who’s chronically online 😔
 unfortunatelyy/n: i am, it’s such a hard life when the others don’t get it the memes i show them 😔
 unfortunatelyy/n: they’re just too old
 olliebearman: it’s such a struggle fr 
 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re old too so shush 
|
 olliebearman: I’M 19??? 19 AND LITERALLY 2 DAYS OLDER THAN U
 unfortunatelyy/n: poor ollie, when i was learning subtraction and addition you were already doing multiplication and division 
 olliebearman: i am so confused right now 
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liked by olliebearman, alex_albon, kimi.antonelli, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 4,920,228 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: IT’S RACE WEEK + my boyfriend with his boyfriend 
tagged olliebearman and kimi.antonelli 
User1: uh y/n? i don’t think you can be saying stuff like that anymore 
User5: i fear y/n will never be the same anymore, she is employed now 😔
user2: no filter y/n we love to see it 
olliebearman: seriously?
 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m such a comedian (i know ur giggling n shit) 🤭
 olliebearman: I AM NOT 
 unfortunatelyy/n: woah so defensive and for what 
mercedesamgf1: usually we only do pr training for our drivers but . . .  
 unfortunatelyy/n: good thing i’m not a driver then 😮‍💨
 user3: SHE DID NOTTTT 
kimi.antonelli: i’m gonna get you fired (can you send me the photo i want it printed out and on my dashboard for when i drive🙏) 
 unfortunatelyy/n: try me antonelli (yes ofc check ur dms) 
 olliebearman: NOW HANG ON JUST A MINUTE 
 unfortunatelyy/n: yes my love?
 kimi.antonelli: yes my little sugarplum with caramel sauce?
 olliebearman: 🤨
 kimi.antonelli: 🫦
 olliebearman: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND 
kimi.antonelli: and now a boyfriend 
 user4: i’m on kimi’s side. it’s not gay if it’s with the homies 🤷 
 olliebearman: @unfortunatelyy/n send for help 🙏
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, lilymhe, kimi.antonelli, arthur_leclerc and 4,294,339 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: hanging out with my fav cutie patootie - oh hey ollie’s here too 
tagged olliebearman and kimi.antonelli
 landonorris: OOOOOHHHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥
 unfortunatelyy/n: get out of here 
 landonorris: ok 😔
 user1: wow she really has him at gunpoint
liked by unfortunatelyy/n
kimi.antonelli: you are also my favourite cutie patootie 🤗
liked by unfortunatelyy/n
 olliebearman: just break up with me already😔
 unfortunatelyy/n: well who would i annoy then 
 olliebearman: kimi 😒
 unfortunatelyy/n: IT WAS A JOKE PLS COME HOME WITH THE ITALIAN FOOD 
 olliebearman: NO 
 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m calling the police 
 charles_leclerc: i would appreciate it if you would stop bullying my son 
 charles_leclerc: and calling the police on him 
 unfortunatelyy/n: not unless he brings the food back 
 olliebearman: fine. but only because i love you 😒
 kimi.antonelli: and me too 
 olliebearman: STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP 
 kimi.antonelli: no.
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liked by olliebearman, landonorris, francocolapinto, lilymhe, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, pepemartiofficial and 3,849,928 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: just a little reminder that the aussie waves are ALWAYS OUT FOR BLOOD
user1: my anxiety looking at that second pic: 📈📈📈📈
 user2: my girl’s been traumatised by the aussie waves 😭 
 unfortunatelyy/n: she has indeed 😔 
 olliebearman: HAHAHAHAHHAHA 
 unfortunatelyy/n: i hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight 
 olliebearman: GASP. how terrifyingly hilarious, still won’t beat you nearly drowning though 
 unfortunatelyy/n: I WAS NOT DROWNING 
 olliebearman: so you were just randomly yelling for help in the water while freaking out 
 unfortunatelyy/n: . . . i was testing your boyfriend reflexes 
 olliebearman: mhm sure 
 unfortunatelyy/n: okay the sass was unnecessary 
 olliebearman: 🙄💅
user5: they’re such couple goals i just feel single whenever i see their posts 😔
 user6: kimi’s probably plotting his next sabotage 
 kimi.antonelli: 🤫
 lilymhe: @unfortunatelyy/n ur so hot 😍 
 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re hotter 😍😍😍
 alex_albon: not this again 
 alex_albon: i thought we moved on from this phase 
 unfortunatelyy/n: it’s not a phase honey, it’s a lifestyle 
 alex_albon: your lifestyle is stealing my girlfriend?
 unfortunatelyy/n: yes 😄
 alex_albon: *sigh 
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liked by landonorris, kimi.antonelli, lewishamilton, olliebearman, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 5,928,658 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: FIRST DAY ON THE JOB  WE GOT THIS💪💪
tagged lewishamilton and kimi.antonelli 
user1: did lewis dirty 😭
 user2: what is going on with ollie’s hair in the bg of the third pic 😭
 unfortunatelyy/n: unfortunately it’s always like that 
 olliebearman: HEY 
 lewishamilton: DELETE THIS 
 unfortunatelyy/n: erm no 
 lewishamilton: i’m gonna fire you 
 unfortunatelyy/n: actually u can’t do that 
 lewishamilton: erm actually 🤓☝️
 user3: WOAH i did not know lewis was chill like that 😭😭
 unfortunatelyy/n: OKAY I’M TELLING TOTO 
 lewishamilton: DO IT I DARE YOU 
 unfortunatelyy/n: done. in less than 24 hours you will be an unemployed man 
 mercedesamgf1: y/n . . . we can’t fire our 7 world champion 😓
 unfortunatelyy/n: DANG IT 
 mercedesamgf1: so about that pr training. . . 
 unfortunatelyy/n: GOTTA GO 🏃‍♀️💨
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liked by olliebearman, landonorris, alex_albon, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lilymhe and 11,759,390 others 
unfortunatelyy/n: i know we’re enemies now but maybe i can be happy for u just this once 🫶
tagged olliebearman 
olliebearman: ❤️ liked by unfortunatelyy/n
 landonorris: yuckyyyyyy 
 unfortunatelyy/n: ur yuckier 
 landonorris: no you are 
 unfortunatelyy/n: nuh uh 
 landonorris: yuh huh 
 unfortunatelyy/n: SHUT UP
 landonorris: NO
 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m calling ur mom 
 landonorris: now hang on just a second 
user1: y/n’s living that wattpadd engineer x driver life 
liked by unfortunatelyy/n
 user2: HELP SHE LIKED THE COMMENT 
 oscarpiastri: congrats mate 
 unfortunatelyy/n: are you happy being back in your natural habitat 
 oscarpiastri: what.
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a/n: thanks for reading! stay safe and have a good day!!
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weirdmageddon · 2 days ago
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the original post i want everyone to see is way out of my hands now, so i’ll repost this again here as new but separate post. it touches on things i want to go into more depth about.
@wasabikitcat gets this idea. this reply—thank you so much for not just understanding what i was going for, but putting my exact thoughts into cleaner words on the bad reading comprehension site.
i can't believe how misunderstood my point was about “spirituality” (i didn’t know it was that much of a loaded phrase!), but thank you for putting what i meant into more nuanced terms.
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it's something that can be hard for me to put into words, and maybe i gave people the wrong impression by using the word "spirituality", since words mean different things to different people. i just haven't seen people discussing it so i wasn't sure how to really put it. but regardless of terminology, this reply is exactly what i'm getting at. and this is coming from someone who has a very scientific mind. i wouldnt even consider myself a traditionally “spiritual” person in the normal connotation of the word.
edit: this one as well!
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i see this as a cultural/political factor that we shouldn’t ignore, because this sense of meaning has driven people's motivations since the beginning of human civilization.
there's a primal aspect that hasn't really left us but there seems to be no room for it in our modern culture because half of these “guides” seem to be driven by “i cant wait for civilization to collapse so MY ideology can rise from the ashes" and the other half of it seems to be driven by greed. and often they are hand in hand.
i would really like to see actual enlightening ideas stemming from buddhist thought, analytical psychology, collective unconscious, and archetypes to take off in the public consciousness. (completely divorced from jordan peterson. just the original jungian stuff)
i am especially supportive towards getting people interested in carl jung's works. his idea was to get people to understand, "what myth am i living?" based on the same archetypes and symbols that recur time and time again throughout human history that we can all collectively recognize regardless of culture. so it's a sense of meaning based in the self. i don't want people being sent down reactionary paths when looking for meaning in their lives.
i think it would benefit people to who feel lost especially in uncertain/unprecedented times like, with those “there's got to be more to this, something deeper,” insinct. i see that people are looking for this but get taken advantage of or manipulated.
but on this deeper sense of meaning in life thing, the Left isn't doing a great job at providing an option for “lost” people looking for meaning that the Right seems to be having no trouble with. i wonder if this is why we've seen so many of these lost young men flock to reactionary commentators?
this reminds me of an excellent point contrapoints made in her video about jordan peterson, saying,
“The last thing I like is that you talk about deep shit. I was watching a video where you and a couple of zany goons were talking about Plato and Aristotle and the meaning of life. And I thought, ‘Huh… on the Left, we don’t really talk about that kind of thing. All we talk about is how society oppresses people.’ And that might not be enough. Because people need to have a positive purpose in life. I mean, personally, I don’t give a shit. I’m pretty happy to sit here watching the same three seasons of Strangers with Candy until I die. But other people, like Dostoevsky, Camus, other white guys who talk about lobsters…they have this need to have purpose in the face of suffering, and like, not just complain about patriarchy. I guess it’s easier to not complain about patriarchy when patriarchy isn’t the thing that’s making you suffer. But I do think that an education that only teaches people about oppression is inadequate. We spend four years teaching undergraduates why capitalism is bad, and then we say, ‘Well, you’re educated now. Good luck getting a job under capitalism, bye!’ …And that really kind of sucks! But you know, I think that’s a point that can probably be made without comparing transgender activism to Stalin.”
speaking of her, this is a related post i wrote earlier on young men being radicalized and how to approach communication
and by the way, if you are interested in learning jungian psychology and want to see what it’s about, here are some resources to get you started:
i think the jung subreddit has a great collection of resources on its about page.
i highly recommend Demystifying Jungian Psychology to start. it’s meant for beginners. it is available in english and spanish. you can currently find the book in the comments section here. since sometimes these links lead to a 404, i don’t want to link directly to the google drive page. i want you to have a link to the original thread in case it gets broken.
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dollsinvogue · 2 days ago
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It’s come to my attention that apparently many of you have not seen the movie Us and you don’t understand how amazing some of the accessories are! I’m a huge fan of easter eggs in character designs and I love this movie! ✂️ 🐇
(This post may contain spoilers, if you can I highly recommend watching this movie)
These two characters are Adelaide in white and Red in red. They are both played by Lupita Nyong’o and are meant to be tethered/mirrored versions of each other.
Starting off we have the box art background which was already previously leaked, it is of young Adelaide at a fair and it shows the house of mirrors she gets lost in which is a very important role in the movie
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Then we have the classroom with stick figures on the chalkboard on the box, this is from the underground classrooms and is a drawing of all the tethered people
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if you’ve heard of Us you should definitely know about Red’s scissors, you could not make a doll without these scissors, they were all over promotional posters, not only are they creepy but they do also represent something important for Red in the film
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Red’s earrings are paper cut outs of tethered people and Adelaide’s earrings are the handcuffs that Red locked her up in
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Adelaide’s outfit keeps core elements with the layering but the blood looks amazing and I’m so happy they went with it, she also has a pattern which I believe is bunnies but I could be wrong
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Adelaide’s hair accessory is a fire poker, her main weapon in the movie
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Adelaide has charms on her belt and I couldn’t tell what they were but my friend @the-ghost-rat pointed out that the top one is a ballerina! Ballet is a way that Adelaide expressed herself after she went through a trauma. The dolls also both wear pointe shoes which is a detail that I saw confused some people but I love it (also I love that they included some blood on the shoes!)
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And finally (for now) the pet bunnies may seem random if you haven’t seen the movie (honestly the bunnies were a confusing part of the movie on a first watch) but there are a lot of bunnies in the film, it’s not just some random thing they threw in there I can’t even explain it
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Another detail I really love is that Red looks like she is crying (at least in the art she does) and it is a beautiful detail to include. I can’t wait for these dolls to release and get better photos of them!
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dragoncatkhfan · 8 hours ago
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Okay you know what
Going back to the Og post. Being mean to men is not what turns them into crypto Hitler.
What happens is they see the issues with society and instead of going left as a lot of us do they go right. Because the right gets to them first and tells them they’re special just for being men.
See the video that was mentioned in @somuchanxietysolittletime post
youtube
@somuchanxietysolittletime actually understands what the heck the Og post was about and has said something valid.
Getting on them because you shifted it and they tried to shift it back is, not a good look. Granted they should have reblogged a different version of the post but still. Yes not having a raging hateboner against men as a concept is a good idea; that was not the Og point of the post. Raging hateboners are one tiny contribution to men getting radicalized. It’s not the only.
And also I understand somuchanxiety defaulting to the assumption that we’re pinning white men’s feelings onto minorities because yeah while that wasn’t what was going on here, it does tend to happen a lot in regards to this convo.
See this video also by Ian Danskin
youtube
You wanna know how we solve this problem. We treat it like the stochastic terrorism that it is and proceed to use methods we use to break up terrorism groups. Also modding group chats.
We don’t let the bad opinions get to the impressionable and vulnerable young men in the first place.
I’m also for not being mean to men. I think it doesn’t help anything. But this is a complex topic and won’t be solved by “just be nice to men”.
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I couldn't have said it better myself.
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who-is-page · 3 days ago
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Greener Grasses and Fossilized Paw Prints: Where (and Why) the Greymuzzles Go
Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 1,229 Summary: Page's personal experience as an adult canine psychopomp, and how it applies to the dearth of older otherkin in general alterhuman community spaces. Answering the question of: where are all the older otherkin? And why do people always seem to eventually leave? Author's Note: The term "greymuzzle" is used within the scope of this essay's title to reference older otherkin who have been active in alterhuman spaces for extended periods of time (a nod to the word's original definition within furry spaces), and is not referring to greymuzzle's most frequent definition in alterhuman groups as a community-given term denoting an individual with noteworthy activity and contribution.
[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]
When I was a young otherkin, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, I found it difficult to conceptualize why there was such a dearth of older community members, especially those 30 and above. I could understand the theoretics behind the disparity, of course— social media platforms, as we all know, tend to skew towards younger audiences due to generational differences in technological proficiency/preference. Established adults with working lives and families don’t necessarily have the same amount of free-time that young adults or teenagers do, either. But even with all that taken into account, it seemed like the number of otherkin aged 13-21 in comparison to the number of otherkin aged 30+ was less a gradual decline and more an unfathomable chasm of difference. The community had been around for decades at that point, with plenty of ghost town groups and abandoned forums to demonstrate that fact… and unless the Veil was secretly age-restricted, those people hadn’t up and disappeared into thin air. So where were people going? And, more importantly, why?
It was a question I’d never been able to answer in a way that felt satisfactory as a teenager and later as a young adult. But now, feeling the call of the void myself, I finally do have an answer and an understanding that I never could have achieved five or ten years ago: why the fuck would I be online when I could be playing video games or having sex with my hot partners instead?
It’s a crude and simplistic way to put it, but just hear me out. As an established adult, I have access to funds, stability, and freedom that I never had as a teenager or even as a young adult who still felt at the mercy of an uncaring universe’s slightest whims. My support systems in high school and college suffered from the same sort of financial and social precariousness that come with the territory of navigating the world as a young adult, but my support systems now are made up of other established adults; while I’ll never say that everything is always perfect for all of us, it’s much easier to get on your feet and stay on your feet when your arms are linked with people who are more firmly rooted in one way or another. I have access to a type of freedom that I could never have imagined as a teenager, because it was literally outside of the range of what was possible for me and my peers.
And more than just that freedom is the fact that I, as an adult, have a family! “Having a family” has, in my experience, some shitty, heteronormative connotations. As a teen, I always took it at face value as juggling bills, kids, white picket fence, other boring responsibilities that eat up your time, etc. But as an adult, now I know that having a family can be anything you make of it, and I make it extremely, obnoxiously queer. In my case, it’s living with people who understand me on a deep, foundational level, and who love me not in spite of who I am but because of who (and what) I am. It’s not passively being around those people; it’s actively, enthusiastically spending time with them because it’s fun and because I love them too and because they’re my people and I picked them and they picked me. As a kid, I’d never consciously recognized the difference between people you’re passively around because you have to be versus people you intentionally choose to be around and who intentionally choose you right back. In part, this is because as a kid you often don’t get the option to make that choice, while as an adult you have more control over your environment. Too often online environments feel like the former, rather than the latter, even if being within them is, technically, a choice. But here, now, I have people in my household who will go out of their way to intersect their daily lives with mine and ask, “You wanna walk to the park?” “You wanna grab a coffee?” or “You HAVE to see this YouTube essay I’m watching and no I don’t care that it’s 4 hours long on a topic you know nothing about, just trust me!!!!!” and that’s such a radically different and wonderful experience.
As an adult, I live with a group of people who make being alive more fun than I could have ever imagined. I have the ability to make my own fun in ways I couldn’t as a kid, for a variety of reasons. I don’t have to feel like an anxious purse chihuahua 24/7, agonizing over my existence and every possible thing that is liable to go wrong if I frivolously spend money on so much of the thought of a hot coffee. And I finally, finally understand why older otherkin disappear off the face of the Earth. It’s because being an adult nonhuman-identifying person is amazing in a way almost no one ever talks about: the euphoric experience of being known and loved, and of knowing and loving yourself.
There are so many exciting and wonderful things I could be doing in the meatspace with people I have actively chosen to spend my life with, and who fully accept and understand me as someone who’s queer, plural, and nonhuman. There’s so many enriching ways I could be engaging with my hobbies, the environment around me, and my local community. With this all in mind, why the fuck would I ever be in public online spaces where people try to argue with me about whether or not I exist, or if my experiences are real, or if I’m using the right and latest lingo to describe my experiences? Why would I subject myself to that when I could just roll my eyes, close the laptop, and go be a beloved canine psychopomp in the comfort of my werehouse instead?
That’s the crux of it. As adults with families and support networks, we have the option to not subject ourselves to the morifying ordeal of being known by asshole strangers online if we don’t want to. We can stick to just our families and our friend groups, and we will still have people around us who understand and who acknowledge and interact with our alterhumanity. The alterhuman community isn’t the only or even most important place for being our authentic selves; rather, it takes a backseat in the day-to-day life. It’s still something that’s fulfilling and worthwhile to engage with, but only on our own terms (terms that are quickly becoming incompatible with the ways Internet culture is evolving). But more often than not, there’s just more fun things to do.
In some ways, it’s kind of a relief to have had this epiphany. People haven’t vanished from alterhuman community spaces because they collectively ‘grew out of it’ like some anti-otherkin insist, or because the various generations of otherkin are so extraordinarily different from one another as to be oil-and-water. People vanish from online alterhuman spaces because offline life as an adult alterhuman is awesome. As an archivist it’s frustrating, but as a nonhuman, I find it a specific type of happiness that’s worth celebrating in its existence and prevalence. It’s an assurance that life only gets better as you get older: isn’t that grand?
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