#I don’t know this went .... somewhere
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i love writing. i also would rather be doing literally anything else
#NaNoWriMo#writing#shitpost#girl c’mon open your laptop put some words there#you don���t have to do it all in one sitting like yesterday#but you will if you don’t pull urself together and write enby#*write rn!!#it’s because I want to find this one page of notes im pretty sure is in my room somewhere#to see if it has details for the epilogue#but idk where it went!!!#i don’t think I’d get rid of it…? but i don’t know where else I would’ve put it#if it’s not the places I checked
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askdfhfjdj thank you to everyone sending me photos of their pets to make me feel better it is much appreciated
i’m about as fine as i can be considering my beloved partner of almost 2 years just left me via text but i have a v good support system so i’ll probably be ok
#ramble#it’s. a lot#especially because it was the most soulless business email of a breakup text i’ve ever read#also he admitted he only went to the festival so he could ‘test me’ with weird little mind games to see if i would magically change???#i don’t know either#shit’s wild#tbh we didn’t have a lot in common so maybe it’s for the best. there could be a very hot metalhead somewhere in my future
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You’re telling me Taissa was worried enough about Natalie to send her to rehab multiple times & say “who does Natalie have?” so sadly. But she didn’t check up on Van who was living alone, not paying her bills, not healthy, not happy ONCE… I DON’T BELIEVE IT. That kind of love doesn’t fade 😭.
#now I want a fic of taissa anonymously buying thousands of dollars of VHS tapes to keep van in business#no but either she had a secret ‘van’ file somewhere in her house#or something bad went down between them and van pushed her away#I feel like tai would obsessively google and read articles and reviews of Van’s store when she couldn’t sleep#I don’t care if she canonically didn’t know about it until she asked for the file#in my heart Tai is a pathetic wet cat of an ex girlfriend#yellowjackets#Van Palmer#taissa Turner#Taivan
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Goofy goober ROCK
(Someone please let him down from there)
And some sketches in which Raz finds a ventriloquist dummy at an antique store and proceeds to carry it with him everywhere the following week until Dona throws it out without telling him
#‘oohhh I don’t know where it went pootie you must’ve dropped it somewhere ☹️’#my art#psychonauts#razputin aquato#psychonauts fanart#psychonauts art#raz aquato#psychonauts raz#psychonauts razputin#psychonauts dion#dion aquato#frazie aquato#psychonauts frazie
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#i didn’t know what the hazel/frank/percy trio was called#i found a couple of old pinterest graphics that called them the out of time trio#but i don’t rly like that name so i just went with the neptune trio#because y’know. they’re in the son of neptune#i didn’t come up with any of the other names i found them all online somewhere#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#heroes of olympus#hoo
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I have been drawing i swear 😓😓 it’s just, un-postable, but instead of not posting just have a drawing
#if i have any actual japanese readers i am so sorry because i don’t even know what i wrote#how do i texture a hoodie🫎#this came from an au i had where hinata hyuga manages to steal the forbidden scroll instead of naruto#very random but it went somewhere-#the day i learn to draw different subjects in the same medium is the day i die happily#hinata hyuga#hinata hyuga fanart
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I am like literally begging the Internet to write image descriptions at this point
#sometimes I swear when a fandom gets an ID blog the individuals who had been writing their own just stop#just assuming the ID blog will pick up the slack so they don’t really need to worry about it anymore#how many times do we have to say an ID on the original post is 1 million times better#than going dumpster diving in the notes of every single mystery image on the dash with little to no context#hoping for the off chance that somebody somewhere has actually written one in a reblog#I see descriptions way more often than I did 10 years ago but still not nearly often enough#and I feel like the number of descriptions I see on my own dash has dropped significantly while I was gone#during those several months where I straight up couldn’t use Tumblr because they broke any excuse for accessibility on the app#don’t know if people just went ‘hey that one blind person I know is gone so I probably don’t need to bother with this anymore’ or what#but my dash is once again flooded with images that mean nothing to me and I seriously need to do a big unfollowing
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lol my roommate just texted that she tested positive. shocker!!! so glad i got out of the house!!
#hopefully i wasn’t around her enough sunday & my mitigations (nasal spray) will save me#but now i do for real need to figure out if there’s somewhere i can go that’s not here. i can’t live here for a WEEK!#i tested this morning & was negative but that would be a really fast turnaround so only time will tell i suppose#chatpost#when i went to pick up stuff after work yesterday (masked) my other roommate had also come home & was very cavalier#so for all i know she’s gonna get it too. can’t go back there#might have to though unless i want to tell people their orders are gonna be delayed#which i might just do. idk. i don’t wanna go there again if i can help it. should’ve gotten more clothes. although i can go to a laundromat#i guess if i need to.
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eepy
#personal#went somewhere new with people I don’t know so well. it was only for like an hour and a half#now I’m so tired#I have the same capacity for new experiences as a newborn baby#need like a three hour nap to deal with it
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I just did a quick re-read of Realizations Of Reality and noticed that the post where Zeus had bitten somebody who tried to touch him was missing. Was that intentional? Also seemed like Janus was a bit easier to see than before.
Huh…No it isn’t. After looking I didn’t see it either. Hmmm…
#I don’t know where it went#maybe it was accidentally deleted?#I have the art somewhere but I don’t think I have the specific asks that we’re sent with it#hmm…#alexpendragon7#ask
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I agreed to meet up with someone for dinner and I just found out the whole polycule is coming.
#jeeeesuuuuuusssssssss. like I don’t even want to meet her let alone the throuple.#I didn’t know it was possible to come on too strongly platonically until now. chill please.#I’ve met her 1.5 times and get multiple daily messages and if I don’t answer I still get ‘HAI!!!’. I want to step in front of a bus this is#stressing me out so badly. I already said before I couldn’t meet. I said I couldn’t go to dinner. then I went to a local meet up and saw#her at the end of the table. I waved at sat at the other end but tried to not really engage. I feigned difficulty hearing over the din. she#started texting me. At the end she came up and was like ‘it’s too noisy here’ and I agreed and left then BEFORE I GET HOME I get a text#TELLING ME when she can go to dinner. I did not suggest we meet somewhere quieter.#she brought someone from the polycule with her to the event and they were just. so dejected and sullen and wouldn’t really acknowledge me#when she tried to introduce us at the start. why why why why. I don’t want to do this.#all because she asked about my sexuality and I got a little too open being glad to speak with another queer lady for like half an hour on#insta. if I could go back in time I would not have responded. this is just insane to me. I regret that so much this is going to suck ass.#my social anxiety is causing such a spiral right now.#it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. maybe I’ll have fun. I just hate getting spammed messages online and I hate meeting up other strangers.
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It’s wild how so many people are fundamentally incapable of recognizing queer characters unless they explicitly say the words, “I’m gay” on screen
#like season 1 and 2? sure maybe you can overlook Will’s queercoding and believe it’s just a result of the bully’s homophobia#season 3 is a huge stretch but it’s hypothetically possible to believe will is just a late-bloomer or asexual#but how on earth do you watch season 4 and still genuinely have no idea will is gay?#and this is not a rare occurrence#it’s astonishing how many people you have to literally explain the van scene to cause Will’s sexuality never crossed their mind#you didn’t see him staring longingly at his best friend the entire season?#some people’s minds are so aggressively heteronormative that they assumed will had a crush on el#and even after noah has explained that will is gay 50 million times#people still are confused and think it came out of nowhere or they quickly forget#somewhere there’s a fan who doesn’t keep up with stranger things news and doesn’t really use social media#a fan who is the exact opposite of chronically online#who hasn’t heard about NOAH coming out let alone Will’s sexuality#who will walk into season 5 and be utterly flabbergasted when Will comes out as gay (let alone when Byler happens)#and they’ll say that Will being gay is a huge plot twist they never saw coming#and they’ll be 100% sincere#and that’s truly baffling to me#do people think shows just randomly include melodramatic rain fights where ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ is said for no reason?#do people think the show went out of its way to show wills rejecting the attractive girl in his class cause they were in a silly goofy mood?#I genuinely wanna know what goes on through people’s heads when they have no gaydar or media literacy#even today there are people who still think romantic stobin should happen and think that Robin isn’t really a lesbian#will byers#byler
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I just need you to know I was reading your tags on the Sillinger/Fantilli Deadpool/Wolverine gifset going "YES THE EYE CONTACT! AND COLE'S WHOLE FACE JOURNEY! AND *OH MY GOD* ADAM'S HAND ALMOST BUT NOT GRIPPING AT COLE'S BICEP" like that near grip Adam took had me fainting like a fucking Victorian era man who saw a woman's bare ankles like W.H.A.T.
I neeeeed to write them omg.
ANON. ANON!!!! please. write them!!!!! and send me a link if/when you do 😇 i’ll prepare my fainting couch (the floor)
#shout out to the columbus blues org for last year deciding they were going to pair up adam and cole for all their nhl (???) playoff media#we really. i still have the world’s worst powerpoint presented by adam and cole in my drafts somewhere and i can’t post it#bc i wanted to make a fake PowerPoint to put on the screen as a joke & it was funny but i didn’t write it down before I went to bed so :/#liv in the replies#also like. what was up w/that nhl?? why them 😭 not complaining just so confused. adam hype wasn’t at its peak NOR was tate mcrae revenge#so they really were like. Hmmm. I like these two little freaks. this one is well-trained. let’s use him#like do you ever think about the blessing that the UMich social girlies bestow on nhl media teams by training all of these men so well.#they do not skip a SINGLE question they will be bullied into it they will give you an answer even if it’s stupid god bless.#adam fantilli#cole sillinger#columbus blue jackets#i REFUSE to admit defeat at the hands of the umich boys#worm. worm. WORM!!!#as we all know i don’t have the slightest idea who cole sillinger is irl but i DO want him to be involved with his teammates.#love thy goalie love thy stunning star prospect… OHHHHH NARRATIVE UNLOCKED OH NOOOOO COLE KNOWS HE’S NOT THAT GOOD SO HE TAKES CARE OF#EVERYONE ELSEEEEEE OH NOOOOOO this message brought to you a) by my elvis merzlikins agenda at all time so that whole sentence but b) by me#mid-realization trying to be like Cole’s not like. bad right you can’t say this but then remembering everyone pulling out his stats to do#him dirty while the whole tate mcrae breakup/release of details was going down and i was like oh actually. like he could be. ALSO on that#note which was so messy i do have to say that news was a shock bc i knew cole sillinger from years prior when everyone held him up like a#bug they pulled from under a rock like who is THIS after he sat front row at fashion week to support his gf so. the threads of this ALSO#come from the initial vision of ‘damn isn’t this a nice one?? a nice hockey??? like lmfaoooo you guys he’s the wag and loves it’) but. this#is also my failing as a storyteller that I love this and will put it in everything but. service kink accommodating for others to give what#he thinks he can’t to allow them to be better. also just. i watched him clean adam fantilli’s floors you can’t go up from that. ANYWAY
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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I’m kinda thinkin about how G**d O*ens season 2 tried so hard to veer into homosexuality land but just kind of didn’t slow down, hit a few gays, and still ended up at the compulsory heterosexuality mega mall and I just…
#I know no one here cares and may even be annoyed as fans cause I know it’s got a big fandom#I understand genuinely every part of why they have the fandom and love they do#But I went to college for literally this stuff and I am autistic and gay and I gotta talk about it somewhere#The writing for this was ostentatiously bad the first go and the second was… fine. But still bad for the gays lmao#And I don’t wanna actually get this all in their tags I don’t actually wanna ruin someone’s day#But I wanna talk about it damn it 😭 this has all of the hallmarks of bad tv writing and I wanna talk about it#Like it’s educational!!! I swear!! To see why this is poorly executed!!#You see I made it a mega mall because capitalism and consumerism uwu
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Gonna fucking lose it I lost my wallet like a week ago now and no one e has used it which I assume means that it’s in my possession somewhere but I’ve checked every fucking place I can think of in my car and home multiple times and have literally no idea where it is.
#like. I’m not super worried bc I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere bc. if someone has my wallet and has been choosing not to use it for a week#well then idek what they’re doing with it. so it’s just a matter of FINDING it which I have not been able to do#I need to do it fast bc 1 not everywhere takes Apple Pay and 2 i need my id to drink and also pick up my prescription#but like. I literally don’t even know where else to look. if there is a place in my home I have looked there at least twice.#I have opened drawers I haven’t opened in months. i did 2 full loads of laundry on the off chance it was in there somewhere. I even went#through the trash (not using my hands) to see if I threw it I. there by accident cleaning up from my t shot.#and it was in none of those places.#I need to get one of those fucking beeping trackers and keep it I. there I’m so serious this is. not the first time this has happened#prsnl
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