#I don’t know if it’s considered baking since they’re fried but…

[jasontoddsgaythoughts]

Kyle: Babe, send hole

Jason (who’s currently baking):

Kyle: 🤤

Kyle: omw

[lucygraysboy]

a feast of all your muse's favorite foods is laid out in front of them. what's on the menu?

let me start by saying that billy is such a foodie!   he could eat a horse,  hooves and all.   unlimited desserts?   sign him up!   (have i mentioned that he also has a sweet tooth?)

in the western verse,  he’s a lot less picky about what he considers a feast —   any meal,  even only a slice of bread,  some cheese and honey-covered apple slices,  and he’s the happiest man in the universe.   he’s always grateful for any food that lands on his plate because he knows what it means to have nothing to eat and wouldn’t wish hunger upon his worst enemy.   but let me break it down:

1. main course —   roast or grilled meat:   beef,  there’s no way he’s turning down a steak or brisket,  and it’s also his favorite.   if cattle aren’t available,  pork would be his second choice,  and then chicken (fried).   but since hunting is also very common in this era,  and billy’s a skilled hunter,  he might also have buffalo / bison meat,  venison,  rabbit…   (please,  don’t tell lucy gray about this),  even squirrel for dinner if he’s particularly desperate.   

while they’re on the road or living in a particularly rough place / less prosperous setting,  he’s always got some jerky on him.

2. side dishes —   BEANS!!   living in new mexico for as long as billy has,  there’s no way that he’s escaping beans.   easy to find,  easy to cook,  cheap and filling.   carlos’ abuela used to make this slow-cooked,  hearty sauce spiced with molasses and chili and served with pork,  and billy could never get enough of it.   cornbread.   (if it’s up to billy,  he’s smearing a thick layer of butter and pouring honey all over it).   sourdough bread,  the kind his ma baked every sunday.   or biscuits baked in a dutch oven.   potatoes in any size,  shape,  form —   roasted,  boiled,  mashed,  anything goes.   

3. desserts —   billy’s favorite category!   fruit pies!!   he loves all of them —   apple pie,  cherry pie,  pumpkin pie,  any-berry pie.   he’s also a huge fan of cobblers,  peach cobbler in particular.   pudding  (the simple kind that his ma used to make when he was little,  sprinkled with cinnamon and dried fruit).   honey cake.   and of course PASTRIES!!   all and any kind of pastries.

4. beverages —   he’s a simple man.   give him a cup of strong,  black coffee brewed over a campfire and he’s happy.   he doesn’t often drink alcohol,  but when he does,  it’s always whiskey.

5. little treats —   pickles.   give him all the pickles.   hand him the whole jar!!   dried fruit (apples and peaches in particular).   eggs.   grits.

in modern verse,  he’s a huge fan of italian cuisine —   pizza,  pasta,  calzone,  cannoli,  tiramisu,  anything italian and he’s in love.   he also does his best to apply lucy gray’s rules to his lifestyle and buy only organic products,  but from time to time,  he 100% craves fast food:   CFA,  KFC,  wendy’s,  etc.   he also loves ice cream,  croissants and cereal ‘cause he’s my son 

[sanjiceo]

hi ! i answered these questions about lemonberry :3 hope whoever reads the whole thing has a lovely week 💌🍀

♥️ - his kindness !! absolutely unmatched in every way: he’s proven his selflessness in many aspects throughout the entire one piece storyline. he’s the type of person you would never want to lose, love everything about him though :3

🐍 - considering we’re both pirates on sea constantly, i don’t think owning a pet would be our biggest priority unfortunately :( but we’re both definitely animal lovers ! in a modern au we would own a few kittens and a big dog together :P

🕷️ - oh we’re both deadly terrified of insects. sanji would not get near them, under any circumstances, so i would have to step in, (although i wouldn’t technically have to deal with it head on, since my body is mechanical and i can just use that to my advantage) and i don’t think we’re letting them out of the house, rather just killing them…

⭐️ - we both think astrology is fun and find it interesting, but we don’t take it too seriously! and of course samelo is compatible, we r inseperable 🩷

🌹 - i know sanji’s canon assigned flower is a delphinium, but i can’t help but associate him with the edelweiss flower. it represents freedom and purity, which in a way represents how he cut ties from judge, and managed to stay true to himself all throughout his childhood, following the same path onto his adulthood.

🌲 - we sneak away on every new island to different places and just to get away for a bit, bring crew mates of the future pirate king can get draining ;; so we take every chance we get to get a breath of fresh air before the next big adventure. on the ship our favorite place to hang out together would be the aquarium :’D

🐦‍⬛ - we’d be lovebirds because we’re glued to each other always <3

🌙 - we both love the night time :> staying up together when the ship gets quiet to enjoy each others presence, and to make most of all the time we get together. we end up falling asleep on each other anyways though

🍒 - of course we bake together ! although its usually sanji baking little treats for me because he loves keeping me spoiled ^3^ ~ we bake together too though of course ! our favorites include chocolate chip cookies ( they have to be soft ) and tiramisu !

🐸 - i associate him with ducks and puppies, they suit him :P

🐈‍⬛ - i’ve always been a cat lover, so they’re my favorite. but dogs are lovely too ( looks at sanji )

⚜️ - we’re always on the go since we’re constantly traveling with the straw hats on the ship ! there’ll soon be nowhere we haven’t gone together >_o

🎀 - i love when he wears his many tinted glasses… a very cute accessory for him :3 clothes wise, he’s gorgeous in anything but i’ve especially enjoyed his maroon suit… the gloves really tie in the whole look :P

🥬 - probably something weird like dipping fries into ice-cream, he’d think i’m crazy but still steal bites from my plate lol

🖤 - not a time where he hasn’t complimented an outfit i wore, so its hard to pinpoint a specific one ! i’d say he likes when i switch it up and wear dresses alot since i don’t typically go for that :3c

🐤 - farmer melo and housewife sanji ? :9 idk if it’s something we’d be interested in but it sounds like a fun idea 😭

🎈 - the biggest surprise ever and only the best for him ! i’d get all the straw hats in on it too of course, get him many gifts and make treats, preferably while he’s distracted on an island getting groceries or something >_o

🌱- neither of us are gardeners so not sure if we would get up to that in the op world, but maybe we’d help nami with her tangerines every now and then :3

♣️ - i don’t think we would get up to playing card games if its just the two of us, but maybe we would with all of the crew !

🐠 - sanji’s a pro swimmer and he’s infatuated with the ocean, gets very excited whenever he talks about it. and i love the ocean because i associate it with sanji 🌊 he loves many sea creatures, but my favorite would be turtles ;P they’re too cute

🖍️ - hell yeah omg we do competitive swimming if we find a pool or even a body of water at any island we go to we will absolutely find a way to race eachother, nami and usopp often times joining us ! i do many silly crafty things so he’ll often watch me or give a try at it as well, but his crafts often end up looking funny ( in an endearing way )

🍵 - i’m a big fan of all three ! sanji is more of a tea lover. every morning he’ll get up a few minutes earlier than me to make me whatever i’m craving that day, he’ll wake me up softly just to ask. :>

✒️ - we live together, so there would technically be no point in writing letters for each other, but we’re both losers in love so when the day is special ( like an anniversary or a birthday ) we’ll write up something full of love for eachother 💌

💛 - probably blue or black since he wore those colors alot when we first met !

💄 - he gets up first of course, showers and cleans up, then goes to the kitchen to make everyone breakfast and whatnot. after he’s done preparing, he’ll come back to our room to silently wake me up by peppering me with soft kisses, number one reason why i never wake up in a bad mood. after i’m done with my shower, we both get dressed together for the day. he’ll also do my hair for me while i do my makeup in the mirror, ( he’s really good at this ? weirdo ) it takes a while since i have a lot of hair. he’ll style it depending on whether i wanted something specific, or i’ll just let him get creative 🌻

☘️ - not that we can think of :’)

🎧 - he’s not big on modern music so the most he’ll do is play a few classical tunes in the kitchen while he’s cooking. but i’m a big music girl so ever since we’ve been together he’ll hear some of the songs i make / listen to and play them while he’s cooking or getting ready in the morning

🌼 - whenever i see flowers i pick one out for him and place it in his hair / his hand :3 he’s made a collection out of them without me knowing, i thought he’d just lose it the next day but he’s kept them all in his closet :’c

🍎 - neither of us are picky ! but cucumbers gross me out on the occasion, so i’ll take those out and put them on his plate while giving him a side eye. he laughs it off and eats it for me because he knows i don’t like wasting food either :3

📗 - we both journal ! we don’t have things we hide from each other, while i write forms of songs and poetry, he’ll write short paragraphs about how his week went. we both use it as a way to relax and detach. we would never invade each other’s privacy or anything like that, so we don’t really bother asking to read each others journals unless we show it to each other willingly :)

☀️ - summer is lovely ! we get to go to the beach more often and take breaks from pirating for a bit. its a nice getaway from the stress & we love to use that time to bond with the straw hats and catch up on things we don’t get to talk about while on adventure :’)

thanks if you made it all the way here ! i just filled this out for myself because i’m extremely sanjipilled #❤️‍🩹🕒

f/ovember ask game ~

♥️ - what's your absolute most favorite thing about s/i, if you had to narrow it down to one thing.

🐍 - if you two could own any pet, which pet would you own? is there any mythological pets or pets that are illegal to own where you live that you would like?

🕷️ - are either of you afraid of insects? who kills the spiders when one of you is scared? otherwise, who lets them out of the house?

⭐ - do either of you believe in zodiac signs? do you think your and s/is are compatible?

🌹 - what flower do you associate with s/i? if they were a field of flowers, what flowers would they be?

🌲 - do you have a favorite place to go with s/i? why Is it your favorite?

🐦‍⬛ - if you and s/i were birds, what kind of birds do you think you would be?

🌙 - do you like the nighttime? would you consider yourself a night owl? how about s/i?

🍒 - do you bake? do you and s/i bake together? do you have a go-to treat to make?

🐸 - ignoring s/is favorite animal, whats an animal that you associate with them?

🐈‍⬛ - do you prefer cats or dogs? is there any reason why?

⚜️ - have you and s/i ever traveled together before? is there anywhere you would like to take s/i?

🎀 - do you have a favorite outfit that s/i wears? what does it look like? do you ever help them pick out outfits?

🥬 - what's a meal, snack, or drink you introduced to s/i that they like? whats one that they introduced to you?

🖤 - has s/i ever told you a specific style of clothing that would look nice on you? what kind?

🐤 - would you and s/i ever live on a farm? what animals would you have? if you already do, what animals do you have currently?

🎈 - how do you like to celebrate s/i's birthday?

🌱 - do you like gardening? if so, what do you plant? and if you don't garden, whats something you would like to plant?

♣️ - do you ever play card games with s/i? do you have a favorite?

🐠 - do you like the ocean? do you have a favorite sea creature?

🖍️ - do you have a fun/silly pastime you like to engage in with s/i? what is it?

🍵 - do you ever make s/i tea or coffee? what kind? if you don't make them tea or coffee, is there something else you make for them? like hot chocolate?

✒️ - do you write s/i letters? or does s/i write you letters? both?

💛 - if you didnt know s/i, what would you guess their favorite color is?

💄 - what does a morning with you and s/i look like? do you have a routine, anything you two do together to get ready?

☘️ - do you have any superstitions? and quirks you do to follow those superstitions? (i.e, ringing bells before you leave the house to ask the spirits to watch over your home, knocking on wood to bring good luck, not opening umbrellas indoors, things like that.)

🎧 - is there any music that s/i listens to that youve started to like?

🌼 - do you give s/i flowers? how often do you give them flowers? what kind?

🍎 - is s/i picky? are you picky? if you go out to eat with s/i, is there any food you or they put on the others plate that you wont eat? (giving someone the pickles off of their burger, croutons off of their salad)

📗 - do you journal? what do you journal about? does s/i journal? have they ever let you read what they write?

🕸️ - do you like horror movies? does s/i like them? do you watch them together?

☀️ - how do you feel about the summertime?

feel free to use however you would like!!! please practice reblog karma and send an ask to someone if you reblog!!! I'm sure they would love some asks! feel free to send me some, as well, if you so choose.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

309 of 2023

How are you doing today?

Kinda tired, but okay. And cold.

What day of the week is it?

Tuesday.

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore?

That everyone is good.

What do you admire most in a person?

Honesty, being genuine, kindness, compassion.

What’s your favorite dinosaur?

I don’t give a fuck about dinosaurs.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as?

I have no opinion, but if it’s treally a thing, then I’d love to be reborn as someone’s beloved pet cat.

What are 3 scents that you like?

Cinnamon, vanilla, sea air.

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321?

Never heard of it.

What’s the silliest thing you’ve gotten injured from?

Having sex lol.

What’s the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

I don’t know, really. Cheese with fruits?

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence?

Gladly.

Do you play any instruments?

I’m afraid you need two good hands to do it, so no.

What is an unpopular opinion you have?

Mango is disgusting.

Have you ever done a crazy dare?

Yeah, ate a bit of dry cat food. Tasted like nothing lol.

What’s your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute?

Gouda lol. I don’t like any cheese substitutes.

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood?

The beach.

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee?

Both, don’t make me choose.

What’s the oddest text you’ve received recently?

Something about a baloon-like object in Poland that fell somewhere and if I find it, I shall call the police lol.

What’s something you believe everyone should have?

Confidence.

What’s the first thing you do once you get home from a trip?

Probably pee.

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you’ve made?

Burning myself with boiliong water? I have no idea.

Do you know how your parents met?

Yeah, they’ve been knowing each other since my mum was 7.

Do you believe love is blind?

Sometimes. It might hurt.

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit?

Lol what a question.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve?

Belgian food. It’s much more than fries and waffles.

Have you ever met a president?

I live in a kingdom.

What food tastes better than its appearance to you?

No idea.

Do you actively post on social media?

Only on YouTube and sometimes on Instagram.

What was your favorite childhood book?

Pelle Svanslös. It’s about a cat without tail.

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts?

Yeah, sometimes. It’s a part of my OCD.

What do you consider to be the smartest animal?

Elephants. They’re incrediby smart.

What movies make you laugh the most?

I don’t watch movies.

What’s a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of?

My medication lmao. If it doesn’t count, then deodorants and perfume.

What’s the best name you’ve heard a pet named?

I don’t know, honestly. I like human names for my cats. I think the funniest and the creepiest at the same time was Stalin.

What always makes your day better?

Train trips around the country.

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion?

I have two true passions and it feels amazing.

Coffee or tea?

Hot chocolate. Not gonna drink coffee anymore.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones?

I do, on Spotify. Mostly about unexplained mysteries and conspiracy theories.

Would you say you’re good at saving money?

Yes, but no. I spend much on train tickets.

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster?

I’ve never ridden in any and I don’t intend to.

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials?

Massages, I think it would do me good as for my arm muscles.

When was the last time you’ve had an adrenaline rush?

Going to Poland for vacation, I was excited.

Have you ever used a whole chapstick?

I don’t use such things, apparently I’m not gay enough lol.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift?

Not sure what this question means.

[second-star-to-motunui]

Potatoes Are Awesome 🥔✨

Feat. Epel Felmier

Epel doesn’t like the way Vil treats his partner. Luckily for him, Yuu is about to end this man’s whole career.

They/them pronouns for reader. MC is referred to as Yuu.

Likes and reblogs are heavily appreciated

Epel already feels dread when he sees Vil approaching the table. One lunch. He just wants to have one good, uninterrupted lunch with Yuu. Vil never has anything nice to say about them just because they don’t worry about their physical appearance like the blond bastard does. It isn’t fair. Epel thinks his Yuu is beautiful just the way they are… He braces for impact when Vil is standing before them, arms folded.

“Epel, you were due back at the dorm thirty minutes ago for touch-ups! You were just in gym class were you not? Look at the state you’re in, students of Pomefiore must not dirty their appearance!”

That was true… Epel’s hair did get a little messier during flight practice. Plus he wiped most of his make-up off when he was sweating.

“What do you mean? He looks handsome as always!” Yuu said. Epel blushed softly.

Vil scoffed, a mean smirk on his face. “Of course a little potato like you can’t understand proper beauty.”

“Oh… thank you!”

Another scoff, this one followed by a small laugh. “I wasn’t exactly complimenting you, dear.”

“Well, why shouldn’t I take it as a compliment? Potatoes are awesome! They’re easy to cook with and they’re essential to like half the tastiest foods ever made! French fries, chips, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, hash browns, oooh and gotcha pork roast!”

“Wh… what is a gotcha pork roast—?��

“Not to mention the fiber!” Yuu cut Vil off. “Potatoes are great for weight loss because they fill you up easily. And of course they can prevent heart disease and they’re full of antioxidants and vitamins! Yeah, potatoes are like the best thing ever. But you know my absolute favorite thing about them?”

Epel was curious to where this was going. Especially considering the fact Yuu had been loading the mashed potatoes from their plate onto their spoon. Vil, still caught off guard by the conversation and getting impatient, shook his head and sighed, folding his arms.

“What would that be, spudling?”

An evil grin creeped on Yuu’s face.

“No matter what form potatoes are in… they’re great for getting rid of your ENEMIES!”

And just like that, Yuu held up their spoon, pulled it back like a catapult and sent a huge blob of mashed potatoes right into Vil’s face. Epel had to force both his hands over his mouth when his housewarden screeched out loud, frantically shaking his head. Naturally this caught the attention of almost the entire cafeteria so, before things could escalate, Epel grabbed Yuu’s hand and pulled them to run out of the cafeteria.

“You HEATHEN! There’s potatoes in my hair!! Where did they go?! I’m going to kill them!” Vil could be heard screaming.

Epel and Yuu didn’t stop running until they were in the safety of the woods outside the school. It was there they both collapse under a tree in laughter, still holding hands.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Epel exclaimed through laughs. “He was madder than a wet hen! I swear he would’a killed the both of us had we stayed longer!”

“Oh come on, I’ve been dying to do that since day one!”

“Wait, is that why you’ve been eating potatoes all week?”

“He’s just lucky it was mashed potatoes today. I totally would’ve thrown a straight up raw potato at his head.”

“Oh, bless your heart!” Epel laughed again, leaning over to deliver a quick kiss to Yuu’s forehead. He lingered for a second, smiling at his partner’s happy face before shyly kissing their lips. Yuu kissed back, giggling at the blush on Epel’s face when he pulled away.

“You sure are somethin’, doll.”

“I like your accent, Eppy.” They smiled.

“I know… I wish Vil was the same. That guy is such a pompous bastard.”

Yuu moved so they were laying their head in Epel’s lap. “Eh, fuck him. If he bullies you again, I’m gonna bury him in potatoes! And then we’ll make some fries!”

Epel laughed again, rubbing a hand through Yuu’s hair and smiling fondly at them. They had a few leaves in their hair. They were beautiful.

“That sounds awesome, sugar.”

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Companions react to Nora saying random crazy thing at seemingly nobody. She will say things like “You Half Baked Potato!!”“You Vegan Meat! “Unwise Breakfast!!” When she is sad she will mutter “oh my cheddar cheese” “I love you my housefly When she is in combat she will scream “Steam those waffles!!”“Imma gonna put some ketchup on those fries!!”When she is asked why she does this she says that when she was sad he husband would cheer her up by saying these and she hopes that he will respond to her

Aww, this is absolutely adorable!!! 🥺

I hope you enjoy this, and thank you so much for the request!!! 💙💛

Cait - Thinks that calling people a "soiled onion ring" is the dumbest thing that she has ever heard. She has no idea why F!Sole is saying such bizarre things so unexpectedly. But when she finds out that F!Sole's husband said these things and she's hoping for a response, she is completely bewildered and somewhat embarrassed by her personal thoughts. She is just thankful that she never said anything about her feelings before. She ends up shouting strange insults herself in an attempt to make F!Sole smile at least a little. Granted, Cait calling people a "smelly omelet" is a little odd, but she's got the spirit.

Piper - Honestly is not quite sure what to think when F!Sole starts battle and immediately says that she's going to "steam those waffles." But Piper goes with it. After all, her Blue seems to be pretty enthusiastic about it, so that's good enough for her. However, when she figures out that F!Sole's husband used to say those things to cheer her up, Piper suddenly realizes just how important these saying are. Therefore, next time that they start a battle, before F!Sole can say anything at all, Piper yells at the top of her lungs, "Time to bake the biscuits!!!" This, of course, earns a giant grin from F!Sole. Her husband may never be there to respond, but Piper's definitely going to reply whenever she can.

Curie - Thinks it is extremely odd, and she finds the behavior to be stranger than any that she has ever observed. She does not question it, and overall just goes with it. She actually even takes up some of F!Sole's insults since they are so vanilla and free of any cussing. When F!Sole finally ends up telling her that her husband did this to cheer F!Sole up and make her happy and F!Sole has been hoping for him to respond, Curie is quite surprised and she apologizes, asking if she should not have responded to it herself. F!Sole assures her that it is fine and she knows he's not coming back. She also assures her that she loves for Curie to do it since it gives her some comradery and helps her cope with his loss. Therefore, after that, Curie tears out with a new vigor about the entire ordeal, and even thinks of a few new insults that F!Sole uses. After all, calling raiders "a sour batch of unpasteurized milk" is just too good to pass up.

MacCready - Thinks it is weird at first, but he does see the merit in it. It helps him keep from saying worse words that he promised Duncan he wouldn't say. So he clings onto her tradition and uses it himself whether she prompts the entire thing or not. But when she tells him that her husband did it and she hoped for a response from him, MacCready clams up and is scared to say the stuff anymore for fear that he's intruding on something that is special between F!Sole and her husband. However, she soon tells him that she wants him to keep going with it since they are keeping a piece of her husband alive with their use of it. So he just says "okey-dokey, steaming artichokey" and rolls with it.

Deacon - Is one hundred percent on board with it. He thinks it is absolutely awesome to call people "Vegan Meat" and he is thinking of even more insults and battle cries every chance that he gets. When she finally says that this was a way her husband made her feel better about things and that she is saying it with the hope of her husband's reply, he feels quite awkward. But he quickly recovers and tells her to "cheer up, little housefly." The comment makes her happier, and she finds it quite entertaining when he thinks of stuff like that on his own. They soon become a dynamic duo in spurting random word combos and driving Glory and anyone else around crazy with them. They especially love to confuse P.A.M. and Desdemona has repeatedly told them to leave her alone or they're going to be finding a new replacement P.A.M. all by themselves.

Codsworth - Immediately recognizes what she's doing. He remembers how sir used to say these sorts of things to her just to earn a smile from her. When she admits that she is saying them in hopes of garnering a response from the man, Codsworth feels quite terrible for her. He thinks hard for a moment, and he soon tells her, "Cheer up, my dear mozzarella mistress." He doesn't know much about what he's doing with the nicknames, but it makes her laugh a little, so he considers it a win. He will now proceed to say these sorts of things when she is sad in an attempt to at least bring a remnant of the comfort of sir back to her.

Hancock - Just raises an eyebrow and mentally wonders why she doesn't just cuss out her enemies. He's pretty sure that they're not going to take her seriously if she keeps calling them things like "Moldy Burrito." Soon enough, he figures out that her husband said those things to make her laugh and that she wants her husband to reply. Therefore, he resolves to defend her if anyone dares to make fun of her for her odd words.

Danse - At first thinks that she has been exposed to way too much radiation. He soon asks her if she is alright and if she needs to sit down for a little while. She responds, explaining that she's fine and she was just hoping her husband would respond since he used to say stuff like that to make her feel better. He is immediately completely at a loss as to what to do, so he just holds her in his arms. He resolves to try to reply to her so that she does not spend all of her time waiting on a response from someone that will never give one. While "greasy suit of power armor" and "dusty, musty uniform" is not too insulting, he does the best he can, and F!Sole appreciates his attempts. He almost never says them, but when he notices that she's having a bad day, he pulls them out.

Preston - Just sort of laughs it off at first. It is a little weird but he gives her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that was something normal from her time. But when she explains the true meaning behind it and says she is hoping for her husband to reply, he is baffled. He before long starts to try to think of something to say that relates to her strange little words. He ends up placing an arm around her and calls her a "kind potato crisp." It is a pretty bad use of the words, but F!Sole appreciates the thought behind it.

Valentine - Thinks its adorable even if it is a little odd, so he just lets it go and lets her do as she wants and continue calling people strange names. However, when she informs him that she is doing it and hopes that her husband will respond to her, he offers her a big hug and they have a long talk about things and what her and her husband used to do together. When they've finished their talk, he tells her "Chin up, green pea."

X6-88 - Thinks that she needs some sort of psychiatric help or a good long nap when he first hears her call someone a "half-baked potato." She quickly assures him that she is alright and that her husband used to say this sort of thing to cheer her up and she hopes he'll reply one day. At that point he just stares at her as if she has lost her mind for sure. However, after a very, very long moment and after ensuring no one except her is around, he finally says, "Do not be depressed, frozen TV dinner."

Dogmeat - Likes how full of gusto she is when she shouts, so he barks along to emphasize her words. However, he does notice how she is quiet for a moment afterward and quickly seems very disappointed when she hears silence. So he whimpers a little and licks her hand, pressing his nose to her palm. He does his best to make her feel happier in these times of sadness.

Strong - Is even more confused than usual and he cannot even be angry because he is so bumfuzzled. He often wonders what exactly is an "Unwise Breakfast." When she explains that she hopes for her husband to answer her when she says these strange things, he grows irritated and tells her that he's dead and when human or super-mutant is dead, then they don't say anything at all.

[goldenspecter]

Cosmo’s TMNT Masterpost

(Rise, 2003, 2012, and others)

Here’s where you can find pretty much everything I’ve ever made for the TMNT fandom! Fanfics here[haven’t gotten the courage to post fanart here yet], hope you guys enjoy my work. Reblogs are appreciated!

Fanfics

1. Finding my way home(and moving forward)

Out of sheer curiosity, Leonardo and Donatello looked up, and there it was.

A portal.

Had the Universe really taken pity on them? Had it really heard his desperate prayers for one more chance?

It was not like the ones they had seen before, it was an irregular circle made up of several shades of blue, completely different from the perfect and symmetrical pink triangles of the Kraang.

Leonardo and Donatello looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, "Should we go in?" Donatello asked, almost shouting, drawing the attention of the others, who quickly turned to the portal and to see each other, then the two brothers in question.

"It's our best bet, and our only chance," replied Leonardo.

Or rather, with the 2012 kids' home gone, they end up in the Rise verse after a strange portal shows up. Therapy is needed, and start the slow process of healing from their trauma.

(Rise/2012, Work in Progress, written with @keeryd​ )

2. Strawberry Cookies:

"Mikey here was just about to tell me what we could do to cheer Raph up while he's sick," Donnie says. "Mikey continue?"

Now that Mikey had both of his older brothers attention, he grins. "I was thinking we make strawberry cookies!" He does his jazz hands as he says this and is met with looks of something that he can only put as disapproval. "What?"

"You do know that everytime that we have tried to make it-" Donnie starts.

"We mess it up and Raph has to come in and save our butts from burning the cookies?" Leo finishes, "What would be different this time?"

Mikey huffs, "We are doing this so we can cheer him up and to prove that we can do something on our own!" he says, "That's what got Raph sick in the first place!"

Or rather, Raph gets sick after helping his brothers recover from the poisoned pizza puffs. Mikey, Donnie, and Leo take a shot at baking cookies for Raph while trying not to burn their kitchen down.

(One shot, complete)

 3. Chicken Fried Rice:

“I only poured in half a pot of rice,” Donnie complained.

Mikey stared at him, really stared at him before he spoke. “You do realize that rice expands when cooked right?” he said, “You do realize that?”

Donnie was silent, looking away from Mikey.

“Donnie!”

Donnie makes chicken fried rice. Mikey watches over. Shenanigans and brotherly fluff ensue.

one shot in which Donnie is in the kitchen, cooking rice and Mikey, Mikey is positive he should have gotten Donnies braincell. 

(One shot, complete)

 4. Tea Time with Hortense and Patty: 

"Sooo," Raph starts. She's always been weird with awkward silences. "Are these grandma kinning hours?"

"Grandma hours!" Mikey exclaims excitedly. "Grandma time!!!"

"Ah, if it isn't our favorite girl and her little brother!" Hortense tilts her head over in their direction slightly. "Are you going to join us? We were just about done arguing," she says.

---

Today is Tea Time. Two old ladies have a tea party, one of them forgets to bring the food, and they are joined by Mikey and Raph. A good time is still had.

(One Shot, Complete)

5. One of those Days

When Donnie woke up this morning, he woke up with the familiar thrum of anger and irritation running through his body with more intensity than normal. Rubbing the crust out of the corners of his sleep-addled eyes, he jerkily grabbed his phone and turned off the alarm. It's one of Those Days, Donnie noted. Those Days where Donnie isn't capable of handling Mikey's over-enthusiastic optimism or Leon's chaotic trickster nature. His safest bet is to hang out with Raph, his calm and mellow demeanor always helped calm down before Donnie went on a rage fest and say anything he couldn't take back.

Or, Donnie and Raph help each other out, balance each other, and make things a little less difficult.

(One Shot, Complete) 

 6. Gift Hunting: 

“It’s Leo. Tiny Leo,” the voice answers. “I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t say until you say yes first,” Leo says. “It’s really important though.”

Angelo is silent, weighing his options. He could say no, he really could-

“Please, Angelo, you’re the only one who can really help me with this,” Leo pleads.

Rather, Angelo and Leonardo go out in the streets of New York to help the blue banded turtle find gifts for his brothers' sixteenth mutation day. Bonding and fluff ensues.

(One Shot, Complete)

 7. Aftermath:

“Raphie bear?” Mikey called out, gently tapping Raph, with relief washing him when Raph turned his head to face him. “What’s the matter teddy bear?”

“Th-thi-this doesn’t feel real.” Raph stuttered out, his voice cracking as a sob broke through. “I’m not really here. Neither are you and everyone else. I’m still alone with Draxum and his minions. No one’s coming to save me because I was stupid enough to get captured and no one wants such a worthless turtle like me.”

In which Raph was kidnapped and tortured by Baron Draxum and his family has to deal with the aftermath of it.

(One Shot, Complete)

 8. To Be the Eldest

Donnie, the second youngest in his family, wishes he was the eldest for once. Then one night, Donnie gets his wish granted and now he was three small turtles in his care.

Donnie adjusts to being the eldest, comes to some realizations, and makes a promise to his (now) younger brothers.

(Work In Progress)

 9. Wanted: Snaggletooth 

Dr. Noel bent down on his knees in front of Raph, a manic smile that showed too many teeth coming about on his face speaking of pain and suffering that has yet to come. He stretched out his hand towards Raph’s face, placing a thumb under his mouth, pressing into his snaggletooth. “Beautiful. Just as I expected,” he crooned, pulling out a syringe and injecting it into Raph’s neck, pushing the contents of the syringe into his system.

Raph’s eyes fluttered as he started losing consciousness, watching through hooded eyes as Dr. Noel's smile grew even wider, with his last thought right as darkness consumed him being that he hoped his family would find him before it was too late.

Post S2 Finale, Dr. Noel remembers Raphael, his snaggletooth, and manages to find and capture the red masked turtle. It doesn't end well for Raphael.

(Work In Progress)

 10. Dimensional Differences:

They bow. Not like one of those pretentious bows like she would do at Yokai parties and not like the ones she would do with her brothers when they hosted tea parties. They bowed deeply, heads stopping at her stomach, one hand closing around their fists. This spoke of respect and honor.

And that unnerved her a little bit. Why are they bowing so deeply?

“Thank you,” they said in unison. It’s unnerving to April and she felt the uneasiness coming from her brothers too.

“Why are you thanking me?” She said finally, voice sounding foreign to her.

“You saved my life?” Baby Leo said slowly, voice tinged with confusion. “That was an honorable thing to do?”

April blinked, “It shouldn’t be considered honorable for doing what any big sister would do,” she said. “That’s not honor, that’s just being a good older sibling.”

In which April, Sunita, Casey, and the turtles end up in the 2012 verse after a mishap with Leo's ōdachi and stay with the 2012 turtles until they can go home. They find out a lot of things that don't quite jive with them. Some things are the same, some things are different and they're not quite sure how to handle those differences.

(Rise/2012, Work In Progress)

 11. Mind Meld Part Deux:

“Oh thank Galileo that you all are back to normal!”

“What do you mean we’re back to normal?” Raph questioned, pulling back from the hug. Mikey and Leo also pulled back to stare at Donnie. “We’ve-we’ve always been like this?”

Donnie went quiet. He shouldn’t have said that.

“Donnie, what did you do?”

The brothers found out about Donnie’s Mental Intelligence Reprogrammulator. Arguments are had, words are said, words that tear a rift between him and his family, and it’s up to Donnie to earn his brothers’ forgiveness. The only thing is, will he get it?

(Work In Progress)

 12. I'm a little kid and so are you(don't you go and grow up before I do):

The 2003 turtles somehow, someway ended up in the Rise verse, with Rise Splinter and his turtle tots, and stay with them while the boys try to figure out their way home. 2003 Raphael got attached to his tiny counterpart the moment he laid eyes on the tot. (Raph centric)

(Rise/2003, Work In Progress)

 13. Dimensional Self-Isolation

Post S2 Finale, Raph finds himself trapped in the 2012 universe and has a difficult time coping with all of the differences that this world has in store for him. From new villains, unfamiliar familiar faces, and the way the 2012 boys and Splinter treat each other and him, Raph has a heavy plate on his hands during his long term stay.

(Rise/2012, Work In Progress)

14. A Collection of Turtle Thoughts

A collection of drabbles and ficlets about Turtles I've been writing since October 2020. Ranges from humor to hurt/comfort, I have it all.

Requests are open. SFW only though.

(All Iterations, Work in Progress)

If y’all reblog, read, and share my work, I’d really appreciate that! Anything and everything is appreciated, money or not! Thanks folks 🐢💕

[nbrook29]

robbe 1️⃣8️⃣

Warning: This is smutty, proceed with caution if it’s not your jam ;)

ao3

If anybody asked Robbe, bad weather in the summer should be illegal. Because what the hell? He needs sun rays and blue sky like he needs oxygen, he wants 30+ degrees temperatures and not a single cloud above, and he always welcomes it with all the small inconveniences it brings along, like clammy skin mere minutes after showering or freckles covering his nose and arms. So when it’s August and it’s raining, sorry, pouring buckets, sue him if he turns into a whiny mess for a bit. That’s just who he is.

Or, that’s who he was. Because right now, lying on a soft cloud-like throw blanket in a not-his t-shirt and sweatpants, head a mess of wild damp curls, fuzzy socks on his feet tangled with another pair, he’s feeling pretty good.

Even though the original scenario for his birthday was supposed to be different.

It all started at 12:00 am sharp with a dorky text from Sander because of course it did.

Sander: Hey there you sexy thing

Heard you're legal now 👅 

Robbe: Omg sander 🙈 

Sander: Yes, that's what you'll be screaming today during our own little celebration 😈

 Robbe almost spat out the water he was drinking, face burning hot as he tried to assess whether anybody was paying him any attention.

 Robbe: SHSHDHSHSJSJS STOP 

Sander: I'll do that thing you like 😏👅 

Robbe: IM WITH MY PARENTS DICKHEAD 

Sander: Am I bothering you cutie? 😏 

Robbe: Yessssss 😩 my face is all red they're gonna know what's up 

Sander: I think *I* know what is up 😏🍆 

Robbe: 🤣 GO COOL OFF 

Sander: Hehe

No but for real now

Happy birthday! 🥰🥳😘❤🎂

I love you SO much ❤❤❤💯 

Robbe: Thank youuuu baby 😊😘 

Sander: Can't believe you're an adult *wipes a tear*

You'll always be my baby tho ❤ 

Robbe: Haha yes ❤❤ 

Sander: I'll be waiting for you at 4 pm 

Robbe: But where?? 

Sander: 😌 

Robbe: Sanderrr tell me 

Sander: Nope 

Goodnight 😌

 Sander absolutely loves to tease him and keep him at the edge of the seat which is why he told him the place only half an hour before their meeting, for which Robbe intended to tell him off. That is until he actually got to Park Spoor Noord and saw his boyfriend lounging on grass, blanket underneath him, surrounded by Robbe’s favorite food and wearing the most charming smile as soon as their eyes met.

And he got him a sunflower. A sunflower. How cute is that?

Needless to say, there was no telling off, Robbe didn’t exactly find time for it between kisses and laughs and Sander feeding him croques and fries and cupcakes (which Sander baked and decorated himself, swearing for dear life the small thingies made from frosting on top were not dicks, but Robbe knows him too well to believe him).

And then all hell broke loose and the storm that had been loudly talked about in the media came to Antwerp and made a puddle out of the two of them.

They looked really miserable, but somehow Robbe couldn’t care less as they were running to Sander’s house holding hands, water in their shoes, the sunflower cradled carefully underneath his shirt, huge smiles on their faces as they finally got there, tripping in their haste to get inside.

The hot shower that followed next and Sander taking the lead oh so well will definitely rank in the top 5 moments of Robbe’s life. He’s very grateful Sander’s parents are on holiday in London because he’s not sure he’d ever be able to look them in the eyes otherwise.

Afterwards, Sander made them ice coffee and handed Robbe his real gift which turned out to be a long weekend in Paris a week from now, shutting him up with a kiss when Robbe was about to protest and complain about it being too expensive.

Since the concert they were supposed to go to was canceled due to poor weather conditions, they resorted to eating cake in Sander’s bed and watching the show Robbe had been talking about for weeks now. Sander, being the thoughtful and amazing boyfriend that he is, graciously agreed to Robbe’s birthday wish and sat him down between his legs, kissed the side of his face, brought his laptop closer and pressed play, as Robbe made himself comfy in his arms, the smile that originated at midnight not slipping off even for a second.

***

Another thunder strikes the night sky and Robbe jumps involuntarily, only a little, more from shock than actual fear, but it doesn’t stop Sander from tightening his arms around him, lips grazing delicately the lobe of his ear.

“Don’t worry, Robin, I will protect you,” he whispers with a teasing note in his voice, grunting when a well-aimed elbow meets his side.

“Shut up, I’m not scared.”

Sander’s only reply is a low chuckle and a kiss on that sweet spot under Robbe’s ear that never fails to send a shiver down his spine. Without barely having to move at all considering how close they are, he tilts his head and noses along Sander’s defined jaw, leaving a peck or two on his cheek.

“Now shush, I can’t focus.” He unceremoniously turns away from Sander’s searching lips, a sly grin on his face when he hears an affronted huff.

“Oh I see how it is, you-”

“Shhhh, Wille is talking.”

Robbe loves to be a little shit sometimes, especially if he wants to get a certain reaction from his huffy other half.

“Look how cute he is.” He has to press his lips hard to keep the giggle in when Sander whines in protest.

“Stoooop, why are you being mean to me.” He now has a full-blown pout on his face. “Jerk.”

The laughter finally comes out and Robbe pauses the show, cooing at Sander’s little frowny face and brushing the runaway strands away from his forehead, leaning up to press a kiss there too.

“It’s okay, I still think you’re the cutest prince in the entire kingdom.” He runs a thumb over his jutting lower lip, kissing it once, twice, three times, until the corners of Sander’s mouth pull up.

“Whatever. Simon is cuter than the other one anyway.”

Robbe grins cheekily. “You just think that because he has curly hair like me.” Sander’s jaw drops at that.

“Wow,” he exclaims, voice faux-scandalous as he shakes his head at Robbe. “Someone’s cocky today.” 

“It’s my birthday so it’s allowed.” Winking at him obnoxiously, he turns back to the screen, hands reaching for Sander’s arms to wrap them around himself again as he settles in his embrace with a content sigh before pressing play.

Sander’s quiet behind him for a second, and then his lips touch his ear again, tongue slightly peeking out to play and lick the shell of his ear with just the tip, hot air hitting Robbe’s skin turning his insides into mush, butchering his focus again just as Sander purrs, “I think it’s hot when you’re like that.”

There’s something important happening on screen, but Robbe can’t make any sense of the subtitles because Sander’s lips continue their path down the column of his throat, stopping for a second to suck a kiss in the middle, killing any rational thought Robbe might have had. His hand rushes to Sander’s head to keep him there without his permission, eyes closing as he sighs when the kiss turns into licks and nips to the thin skin.

“Do you think he could kiss you and touch you like that?”

The question breaks the fog in Robbe’s brain for a second, and he barks a laugh at the slight possessiveness in Sander’s voice that’s poorly hidden under a joking tone. 

“Like what?” He presses, excitement bubbling in his stomach when one of Sander’s hands sneaks underneath his t-shirt, fingers grazing the skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake as they finally reach the place Robbe needs them most. 

“Like that.” He flicks his nipple with those black-polish covered nails of his that make him look so hot Robbe’s head spins. “For starters.” He keeps it up, tugging and pinching unhurriedly, with a dirty smirk growing on his face that Robbe can just feel on his collarbone, and he pulls on his hair as he arches his back a little, seeking more of those skillful fingers.

With his hooded eyes, he can see Sander closing the laptop and putting it away quickly before his other hand joins in the fun, a featherlight touch to the growing bulge in his sweatpants, nothing more than teasing for now.

When Sander’s teeth tug at his earring, Robbe lets out a frustrated whine because it’s too much and not enough at the same time, and his boyfriend reads him like a book because he pulls the t-shirt off him to gain full access, mouth latching on his neglected nipple just as his hand dives inside his pants. It doesn’t grant him any relief though, bypassing his dick completely and traveling lower, caressing the soft skin, one finger running back and forth without reaching any further, and Robbe grabs Sander’s thigh in desperation.

“Sander...”

“You didn’t answer me,” Sander whispers in a sweet sweet voice.

“Whaa?” It takes a second for Robbe to understand what he’s asking and he would laugh if his body wasn’t on fire, Sander playing him like a violin.

Also, this playful possessiveness is getting to him, whether he likes it or not.

He does though. Like it.

Oh fuck, he likes it so much.

“Tell me, baby,” Sander breathes into his mouth as he reaches for something Robbe doesn’t see, and he can hear in his voice how it affects him too, can feel him against his lower back, rubbing himself off with minuscule moves, clearly struggling to hold back. 

“You, just you-, fuuuuck,” Robbe’s cut off when two lubed fingers press inside him at the confession, back arching slightly, the feeling so intense he keens and searches blindly for Sander’s lips. Thankfully, Sander doesn’t waste any time and plunges his tongue inside his mouth, swallowing the little whines that escape them with each twist of his fingers.

The rocking behind him gets faster and this is not how Robbe wants this to end so he breaks the kiss, ignoring Sander’s protests as he pulls away from him, only to pull his pants off completely, green eyes following his every move like he’s ready to pounce, and the need inside Robbe’s stomach only grows. He tugs impatiently at Sander’s sweatpants, biting his lip when his hard cock slaps his abdomen, the smirk dancing on Sander’s lips at his reaction liquefying his insides and he crawls closer to him, needing his touch to ground him. 

“You’re still good to go?” He loves how even when it’s hot and heavy Sander still remembers to check in with him.

“Uh-huh,” is the only thing he can come up with now, especially when Sander’s hand settles on his hip bringing them so close there’s no space left between them, guiding his movements just like Robbe likes. He kisses his glistening neck, licking the sweat of his body as Robbe reaches behind to position his slick cock at his entrance, forehead resting against Sander’s as he sinks down fast.

He gasps at the feeling of fullness because it’s always a lot, but Sander’s hands are always there, brushing his sides in a comforting motion, even when his own body is probably screaming at him to move.

“Happy birthday to me,” Robbe lets out a shaky chuckle that ends up in a gasp when Sander laughs too and involuntarily moves inside him. He’s quick to lick into his lips and distract him from the momentary discomfort, and once he’s done with him, the overwhelming need is back double force. 

Sander notices right away, guiding Robbe’s hips to keep grinding for a while before planting his feet on the bed and holding them in place giving several hard jabs that make Robbe hide his face in his neck, cries leaving his mouth with each thrust.

“Like that?”

Robbe just nods helplessly, mouth leaving a wet trail on his skin, but Sander doesn’t seem to mind because he continues his pace, completely taking over once Robbe’s thighs give out and turning him into a mess.

“You’re so hot like this, fuck.” The strain in Sander’s voice tells him he’s getting close so he goes back to bouncing, meeting him in the middle, and it only takes a minute for things to become too much, Sander’s uncoordinated jerks when he’s coming triggering Robbe’s orgasm too.

They stay like that, cooling off while kissing lazily, tongues sliding against each other, but without a rush for now.

Sander pulls back first, their lips smacking when they disconnect. "I'm sorry today didn't work out." Scrunching up his face, he reaches to comb through Robbe's hair consolingly. He leans into the touch before cuddling even closer, seeking warmth when the cold air makes goosebumps appear on his heated skin.

"But I loved today, really. We can go to a concert another time." He kisses the underside of his jaw, sighing dreamily. "And I can't wait for Paris with you."

[tinytonysnark]

Hi Nisha love, Stevetony for #40 (Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh) in the 50 wordless ways to say I love you prompt list if you're so inspired? <3

40. Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh. 2.1K words, stevetony, fluff, tw: Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting

six

The first thought Steve ever has about Tony is, he looks sad.

He’s making his way into the school by himself, cause he’s grown now — his Ma’s car is still at the drop-off where he can see her still blowing kisses at him through the window, but who’s gonna know — when his eyes land on them. 

There’s a man standing in front of a boy who looks smaller than Steve does, something he didn’t even know was possible — and the boy looks sad, shoulders hunched in and staring at the ground while the man seems to be scolding him, like his Ma does sometimes when he gets into a fight with the boys down the road. 

But unlike Steve, the boy doesn’t stare back and let it be known that those boys had it coming for talking like that with his chest puffed up because he’s mad — and not at all because he’s pulling in big gulps of air. 

Steve can’t see what the man’s face must be like since his back is to him but he imagines it must be angry and that just makes him angry  cause the man seems like a big old bully and Steve hates bullies.

If the man wasn’t a grown up Steve might have just gone over there to tug the boy away and yell at the man about maybe picking on somebody his own size, but he promised his Ma he wouldn’t get into trouble — well, not on the first day at least. 

So instead, he sticks his tongue out at the man, blowing a raspberry at him that he doesn’t hear.

But the boy does. 

He looks, eyes darting up and around the man to stare at Steve who must have a silly look on his face because the boy looks a little shocked and his ears go red but there’s a smile, there and gone before he quickly looks back down at his feet. 

Steve decides then and there that this boy is going to be his friend and he waits for him, the man leaving with a dismissive wave as he walks over to his very shiny car. 

The boy watches him leave before making his way over to Steve, shoulders still hunched but not staring at the pavement anymore. “Hi. You - you didn’t have to wait for me.”

“Course I did,” Steve says with a shrug. “You and me are gonna be friends. I’m Steve Rogers,” he says, sticking his hand out for a shake. 

The boy stares at his outstretched hand for a moment before taking it with sweaty hands, “I’m Tony Stark and I - I really want to be your friend.”

“Well good, cause we’re going to be best friends,” Steve says confidently, dragging Tony through the front doors. “Come on, we can’t be late on our first day.”

[continue on AO3] or

***

twelve

“I’m just sayin’ that if you don’t come over for blueberry pie after Ma specifically baked it with you in mind, she’s gonna throw a fit,” Steve tells him, feet swinging under him because these benches were so high. 

Not because he’s short. 

It’s not. 

Tony’s hands are fidgeting, his fingernails plucking at the skin of his nail beds and Steve doesn’t even think about it when he reaches over to pry them apart. 

Tony just moves on to biting at the skin on his bottom lip. “Howard will be really mad if I miss dinner. He says the people coming over could really make or break the the company and he wants to make a good impression.”

His laugh is derisive when he tells Steve, “We have to be the picture perfect family complete with the great businessman but who’s also a loving father, the doting wife and mother with me staring as the golden son. What could possibly go wrong?”

Steve’s face must have morphed into the strange expression he does whenever Tony mentions anything about his home life because when he looks up from the plate of fries he’s not eating he gives a snort of laughter which only makes him embarrassed, covering his mouth like that would force it back in. 

“Shut up, you didn’t hear that,” Tony says, cheeks going pink. 

“Hear what?” Steve grins, swiping a handful of fries.

“Hey!”

“What? You’re gonna come over to eat my food so now I’m stealing yours,” Steve tells him. “Listen, you’re coming over today. Ma can be scary when she wants to be and not even your dad can stop her.”

Tony goes back to chewing on his lip. 

“Hey, trust me,” Steve says, grabbing at Tony’s hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

Tony looks down at their hands before looking right at Steve. “Okay.”

It doesn’t occur to him until much, much later that he and Tony held hands all through lunch and neither one had said anything. 

***

fourteen

They’re sitting in Math class — and why Tony is even in this class confuses Steve considering how smart he is — when he realises Tony isn’t paying attention to a single thing Mr.Vanko is saying. 

He’s staring at his phone, hidden behind his open textbook and he’s taking a selfie that Steve is just going to assume he’s sending to Rhodes because —

Because the other option is assuming he’s gonna send it to Stone who is a senior and all around jerk and Steve kinda wants to bash his head in whenever he sees the douche hanging around Tony and — well, Tony seems to enjoy Stone’s attention but there’s something not right about that guy and Steve —

Steve is not biased. He isn’t.

He makes a face at the camera when Tony angles the phone again and Tony doesn’t even notice until he looks at the picture.

He stifles a laugh into his hand but Mr. Vanko’s hearing is scary good and he always seems to have it out for Tony anyway so he turns away from the chalkboard to glare at where Tony sits. 

“Something funny, Mr. Stark?’

“No, no, just that you wrote out the equation wrong,” Tony says, shutting his book, his phone wedged between the pages.

“I doubt it,” Mr. Vanko sneers before looking at the board then scowling when he realises Tony is right. 

Steve tries not to roll his eyes because of course Tony is right. 

When he checks his messages later he sees that Tony had sent him the picture, with Tony front and centre but the perspective makes it look like Steve is popping right up from his head with a goofy look on his face.

He makes it his screensaver because really — who’s even going to know?

***

seventeen

Steve says the only reason Tony tries out for cheerleading is to be a rebel and to effectively drive Steve insane. 

Tony tells him that he does it so he can stay in shape since now he has to keep with Steve’s insane growth spurth over the past year and so he can be flexible and Steve — well, Steve tries not to go completely red at the implication in Tony’s tone. 

For all the years they’ve been friends, for all the dancing around they did about how they felt for each other — this, this is still new and real and Steve is completely terrified of messing this up. 

Losing Tony - that’s not even something his brain can comprehend. 

But when he shows up to practice, already making his way over to where the cheerleaders are to say hello and maybe steal a kiss, he thinks that Tony is trying to put him in an early grave because he’s standing there wearing the cheer uniform just —

The crop top and the skirt are fitted so well.  

For some reason, Steve’s brain latches onto the fact that Tony’s belly button is out.

He’s an innie. 

Steve must look an absolute fool right now because the cheerleaders burst into giggles around him, Tony included, who walks up to him and sweet jesus -

He shaved his legs and Steve thinks maybe there’s glittery body oil on them because there’s no way —

“Hi, handsome,” Tony smiles up at him. “You’ve got a real dumb look on your face so I’m assuming you like the uniform.”

Steve tries to say something back but his mouth just feels bone dry at the moment and he has to clear his throat to choke out a simple, “Yeah, baby. I really, really do.”

Tony kisses him, hard and fast -they’re lucky their teeth didn’t clack together - before pushing him off to the field. “Go on number 29! I can’t cheer for you if you’re terrible.”

“Thanks for that,” he says before hauling Tony in to kiss him once more, deeper and leaving him dazed before he runs back to his team. 

He gets a pom-pom thrown at him.

***

twenty-two

There’s a Taylor Swift song blasting from the speakers to commemorate Tony’s birthday but Steve — Steve can’t find Tony anywhere in this strange house he got off-campus that Steve is nearly certain is haunted because why else would it be so cheap it practically a robbery. 

Rhodes had mentioned to check the workshop but that had been the first place he looked anyway and he’s gone through the whole house at this point.

He’s standing by the kitchen before it comes to him and he’s off like a shot up the stairs, nearly bowling people over in his haste. 

He gets to Tony’s room, places the bag on the table and climbs through the windowsill when he spots him, sitting cross-legged on the roof. “Tony?”

The surprise on Tony’s face honestly makes the 4 hour long journey entirely worth it. 

“S-Steve? Ohmygod, Steve!” He yells, jumping up to crash into him and they nearly go skidding off the roof.

“Why don’t we head back in -”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tony interrupts, “Let’s just sit out here.”

Steve isn’t really one to deny Tony anything, let alone on his birthday and definitely not when he’s beaming like that. 

He tugs Steve down, his back to Steve’s chest. “I - I got worried when you didn’t call. Thought maybe you forgot.”

Steve frowns, “Forgot? Baby, in these last 16 years I have never not once forgotten the most important date on my calendar and I ain’t gonna start now.”

He brings Tony’s hands up to him and places a kiss on the palm, “There was a slight hold up. Just, wait here.”

“There’s only one exit.”

“You say that like you haven’t rolled off a roof to prove a point before,” Steve tells him, reaching through the window to snatch the bag before coming back to sit in front of Tony. 

“Courtesy of the best bakery in New York,” Steve tells him, holding out the cupcake. “Bucky’s kitchen.”

He lights the candle he brought with him and sticks it in the middle. “Make a wish, Tones.”

Tony stares at him with a look so full of love with the flickering of the flame reflecting in his eyes that all the air rushes out of Steve’s lungs.

He blows out the candle before then promptly taking it out and smears the cupcake into Steve’s face that frosting goes up his nose. 

Tony laughs so hard when Steve just stares at him that he nearly does roll off the roof.

Tony makes it up to him by licking up all the frosting though. 

***

twenty-seven

Steve’s hands can’t stop shaking. 

He can’t believe that after months and months of planning, they’re finally here. 

That in just a few short minutes, he’s gonna get to call Tony his husband.

The doors open and Steve thinks his heart might have just stopped as he watches Tony walk towards him, resplendent in his tux and he just knows that the camera is recording his slack jawed expression because Tony is grinning at him as he makes his way down the aisle.

When they’re declared husbands, Steve kisses that grin right off his face and the camera catches their stupefied expressions. 

***

thirty

Tony drops the blanket, yelling out, “Peek-A-Boo!” 

Peter, completely amused, claps his tiny little hands from inside the crib. 

“The betrayal I feel right now is overwhelming,” Steve calls from the door of the nursery. “This is my favourite game.”

He crouches down next to Tony, both hiding behind the blanket before dropping it again, making silly faces. 

“Peek-A-Boo!”

Peter’s shriek of laughter can be heard all through the house.

[acti-veg]

Cheap Vegan Essentials

With everything going on right now, I thought may be useful to repost an edited version of my list of cheap vegan groceries. Most of this is standard stuff but if you’re used to ready meals and faux meats but you can���t get them with the panic buying, this post may prove helpful to you. A lot of these have a really long shelf life as well, so they will be useful if you end up isolating. You may struggle to find some of these items with people clearing the shelves, but it will hopefully help to know what to keep a look out for. Just please avoid stockpiling. It is sensible to have these items in your cupboard but you should only buy what you need.

Rice: Rice is an extremely cheap and filling staple. A cup of rice contains roughly 45 grams of carbohydrates and 4-5 grams of protein. In an airtight container it lasts at least 6 months.

Beans: Beans are one of the most accessible protein sources and have been a staple around the world for thousands of years. Just one cup of soybeans, for example, contains a massive 28.62 grams of protein, while even standard baked beans contain around 14 grams. They also contain lysine, which is missing from most other plant sources.

Chickpeas: Chickpeas can be purchased very cheaply canned, and in large bags in bulk if you’re willing to prep them yourself. Each cup contains about 15 grams of protein, tonnes of fibre as well as magnesium and folate.

Lentils: Similar to chickpeas, lentils can be bought canned or in large bags. A cup of cooked lentils contains a massive 18 grams of protein, they also lower cholesterol, improve heart health and help stabilise blood sugar.

Oats: Oats are very cheap, can be bought in bulk and have great shelf life. They are high in protein, fibre, and B12; they are even thought to help lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

Cereals: Most cereals, especially supermarket’s own brand products are very cheap. Whole grain cereals like bran or oat based products are high in fiber, calcium and iron, and most are fortified with B vitamins.

Pasta: Pasta is another great product to always have on hand, it is one of the least expensive items in any supermarket, can be bought in bulk and has a very long shelf life. Depending on the type, pasta can be a good source of fibre and carbohydrates; it is a high energy food and is very filling.

Potatoes: Potatoes are one of the cheapest foods available in most supermarkets, at an average of just $0.56 per pound. They are versatile, filling and despite their reputation as unhealthy, they are an excellent source B6 and a good source of potassium, copper, vitamin C, manganese, phosphorus, niacin, dietary fiber, and pantothenic acid.

Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are as versatile as white potatoes, are high in vitamins B6, C, D, iron, magnesium and potassium. They’re also a more balanced source of energy than white potatoes, as their natural sugars release slowly, avoiding blood-sugar spikes.

Noodles: Many varieties of noodles are vegan, they are very cheap and last a long time. Noodles are very filling and contain high levels of B vitamins, vitamin E, magnesium, iron, riboflavin, and calcium.

Nut butters: Depending on the type, nut butters can be purchased very cheaply. It has a surprisingly good shelf life, is an excellent source of heart healthy fats and is very high in protein.

Falafel: Falafel is usually cheap to buy pre-made but it is even cheaper when made at home just using chickpeas and spices. It is filling, can be used to make great vegan burgers and is a good source of protein, fat and soluble fibre.

Hummus: Though buying pre-prepared hummus is usually relatively cheap, it is far more cost effective to make your own in larger quantities, depending on the recipe you usually only need chickpeas, tahini and lemon.

Couscous: Couscous can be great in salad or as its own side dish, it is cheap to buy and is a convenient option since it is so easy to prepare. It is a good source of lean protein, dietary fibre and B vitamins.

Tofu: Tofu has an odd reputation for being expensive, quite probably among people who have never bought it. Tofu has been a Chinese staple for thousands of years, it is now widely available in supermarkets and is far cheaper than comparable animal products, averaging less than $2 per pound. It is filling and is high in both protein and calcium. If you find it expensive in your local supermarket, try a Chinese market or world foods store. It will keep for months if you freeze it.

Tempeh: Tempeh is similar to tofu in price and use, but has a different texture and slightly different nutritional properties. The fermentation process and its retention of the whole bean give it a higher content of protein, dietary fibre and vitamins compared to tofu, as well as firmer texture and a stronger flavour.

Seitan: Seitan is made with wheat gluten and is extremely high in protein, as well as being one of the cheapest sources of protein per dollar when made at home and is around the same price as low quality beef in stores. It has a steaky texture and is very filling.

Frozen fruit/vegetables: Large bags of mixed frozen vegetables can be bought extremely cheaply almost anywhere. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, frozen vegetables are almost as healthy as fresh produce since they are frozen while fresh and don’t endure the loss of nutrients associated with long travel and extended shelf time. Frozen fruit like mixed berries can be a cheap way to prepare smoothies or dessert.

Canned fruit/vegetables: Having a few cans of fruit or vegetables around is always a good idea, things like canned tomatoes or corn can be a side on their own, canned peaches or orange pieces are an instant dessert and canned tomatoes can be used to make sauces.

Bananas: Bananas are one of the cheapest fruits available and deserve a mention based on their nutritional value and their versatility. They can be used in desserts, as a healthy snack and can be used to make cheap vegan ice cream.

Citrus Fruits: Citrus fruits like lemon, orange and limes are cheap to buy in bunches, especially when in season and can be eaten as a healthy snack or used as a cheap way to add flavour to existing dishes.

Vegetable stock: Vegetable stock is good to have around for a variety of purposes; it will add flavour to any dish from gravies to soups and roast dinners. It is extremely cheap and relatively healthy if you go for a low sodium option. It is even cheaper if you make it yourself from leftovers or trimmings.

Olives: Olives are a healthy source of fat, they are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties and contribute to good health health, as well as being good sources of iron. They can be bought in large jars very cheaply and can be a healthy snack.

Olive Oil: Thought to be the healthiest oil to cook with, it is heart healthy and can be used to add flavour to a variety of dishes like pastas and salad.

Spinach: Spinach is often called a super-food in terms of nutritional content, it is is high in niacin and zinc, as well as protein, fiber, calcium, iron and a multitude of vitamins. You can also buy large bags of pre-prepared spinach very cheaply.

Kale: It has a different flavour and texture to spinach, but has similar uses. It is a great source of dietary fibre and is packed with nutrients, vitamins, folate and magnesium. Even a 500g bag should only set you back around $2.50.

Bread: Many new vegans assume bread is off limits, but many breads are vegan. Even speciality loafs are very cheap considering the amount of meals they can contribute towards, and they can be a good source of carbohydrates and protein. It will keep for 3-6 months if you freeze it.

Plant Milks: Plant milks have an undeserved reputation for being expensive, this is only in comparison to heavily subsidised dairy milks, though even then the price is comparable, in fact, some supermarket’s own brands are even cheaper. Plant milks are packed with calcium and are usually supplemented with vitamins B6 and B12.

Non-Dairy Spreads: Non-dairy spreads can be made form a variety of sources, from soy or olives to coconut oil. They tend to be comparable to dairy butter in terms of calcium, but without the unhealthy fats and cholesterol. They are usually priced similarly or cheaper than their dairy counterparts.

Peppers: Peppers tend to be very cheap to pick up in large bags, particularly bell peppers. They can be stretched over several meals, and can add flavour and texture to curries, stir fries and salads.

Nutritional Yeast: Seen as something of a speciality health food, nutritional yeast is actually very cheap, lasts a long time and is one of the best sources of vitamin B12. It has a nutty, cheesy taste, so you can use it in place of anything you’d usually sprinkle cheese on. It is also great in soups and when used to make “cheesy”, creamy sauces.

Flax seeds: Each tablespoon of ground flax seed contains about 1.8 grams of omega-3s. It is included in this list as they make a great egg substitute in baking, can be sprinkled on cereal, yogurt or oatmeal. It is cheap to buy, and even a small packet lasts a long time.

Dark chocolate: Dark chocolate is not only far healthier than milk chocolate, it is usually cheaper to buy in the same quantities and is far more filling. It is versatile for use in baking and desserts and is a healthy snack in small quantities.

Selected Produce: Fresh vegetables are not always expensive. Seasonal vegetables are usually cheap in most supermarkets, but some vegetables like carrots, turnips, onions, cabbage and cauliflower are inexpensive all year round, and can often be bought on offer or as “irregular” (but still perfectly edible) for even less.

Herbs and Spices: Having a range of spices on hand is always a good idea; things like cumin and garlic can add depth and flavour to simple meals and they last a very long time. Investing in a good spice rack and some curry powder will save you money in the long term.

Stay safe everyone, and please check in on your vulnerable friends, family members and neighbours. I am always around if you need any advice, resources, accessible recipes or just a bit of a chat to help with the stress. Take care of yourselves and each other.

[lynyrdwrites]

long story short (KC)

This is based off the request for frienzoline + Klaroline, and long story short by Taylor Swift from @ofthedirewolves. It’s more Frienzoline than anything, but really? That should be expected.  It’s sort of disjointed, but I hope you enjoy.

---

Pushed from the precipice

Clung to the nearest lips

Wrong story short it was the wrong guy

“My story can be split into a series of losses.”

Enzo blinked at the solemnly spoken words.  He hadn’t thought vampires could get drunk, but he and Caroline had spent the past twelve hours proving that, actually, they very much could.  Apparently they had moved from the karaoke singing stage to the sad reminiscing.

“My story basically just consists of an Augustine cell and a lot of bloody, bloody experiments,” he said after a beat of silence, figuring that he needed to give an appropriately serious response.  Caroline moved her gaze from the roof, where she’d been staring as he spoke, to look at him instead.

“That’s sad,” she said at last.  “Forget my story.  Yours is just sad.  You deserve French fries to make up for that sad story.”

“Will they actually help with anything?” Enzo mused, and Caroline wrinkled her nose and shrugged.

“I dunno.  But they’re tasty.  Do you think Matt would bring us some, if I called him?”

After a long debate, they decided that, no, Matt Donovan wouldn’t deliver French fries to his ex and the crazy vampire he hated.  But it turned out there was a bag of frozen wedges in the Forbes’ freezer, and Caroline declared they were good enough.

Another debate then occurred, where he convinced her to bake them in the oven, instead of heating up the deep fryer.  Enzo had been in an overly destructive building fire once before, thank-you very much. He’d rather not repeat the experience.

So it was, twenty minutes later, Caroline was perched on the counter, nibbling on a still frozen wedge as the rest heated, while Enzo sat on a chair, bottle of tequila dangling from his fingers.  He had decided he hated tequila, but it did do an awfully good job of getting one drunk.

“Okay, so back to your series of stories.”

Caroline blinked at him, gaze fuzzy with alcohol, and Enzo sighed.

“Remember? My story can be split into a series of losses.” He gave the sentence the proper intonation, one of surly seriousness.  

“I didn’t sound like that,” she muttered, reaching for the tequila.  Enzo handed it over. After all, getting drunk had been her idea.

They were at almost thirteen hours after her mother’s funeral.  

“You kind of ruined my sad story,” she said at last, after swallowing a mouthful of the alcohol.  “With your whole sad, locked up vampire schtick. No one can stand up to that level of tragedy.”

“We’re not playing a game of who’s trauma is bigger-”

“Yeah, cause you would win.”

Enzo ignored that and pushed on, “We’re playing a game of share the trauma.  Share yours, Gorgeous.”

“I don’t have trauma.”

“The dead mother says otherwise.”

Caroline looked thoughtful for a moment, and then shrugged.

“Did you know that she tried to kill me once? After I was turned.  Mommy tried to kill me and daddy tortured me.  I’m not sure what that says about me.”

“Probably that your trauma is much larger than you think.  Okay, dead mommy and daddy.  What would your other losses be?  Hit me.”

The timer of the oven went off, and Caroline pulled the wedges out.  She immediately grabbed one, and hissed, tossing it between fingers as it burned her skin, until she finally got it in her mouth.  She followed it almost immediately by more tequila.

“Be careful.  They’re hot.”

Enzo snickered, but helped her dish the wedges out onto plates.  Once they sat at the table, Caroline spoke again.

“I mean, my humanity.   That’s a pretty big loss, right?”

“Meh.” Enzo shrugged. “I think humanity’s overrated, but if you want to say it’s a loss-”

“No, you’re right!” Caroline poked a victorious finger at him.  “You are so right!  Like, how was being human really so great for me?  I was Damon’s dumb, compelled blood bag.  Everyone lied to me.  No one took me seriously.  But Stefan is all sad eyes about vampirism, and Elena is absolutely miserable, even if she tries to lie about it.  And I’m like, okay, maybe I’m missing something.  Maybe it is the worst thing… but see, you get it!  You’re, like, the only person who gets it.” She looked thoughtful for a second, and gave her head the slightest shake.  “Maybe, like, the second person who gets it.”

“Okay, so that’s a loss that’s not really a loss.  What else?”

“Mommy and daddy,” Caroline pointed out around a wedge, she reached for the tequila, then wrinkled her nose again.  “We need actual glasses for this.  Back wash is gross.”

In just a few moments, they both had glasses filled to the top with just tequila, because that was apparently who they were as people, and Caroline was brandishing a wedge again.

“Okay, so then there’s my relationships.  Matt and Tyler, and the total demise of my friendship with Stefan, because he is such a dick.  And did you see how he looked at me during the funeral? Like, really?  I bare my heart to the guy, and he can’t be bothered to care until he decides I look hot next to my mom’s casket?  Who does that?”

“Wankers,” Enzo replied, when Caroline paused and he realized she actually wanted an answer.  “Absolute wankers.  Of which Stefan is one.”

“Thank-you.  And I mean, we also lost Bonnie in there, even if we got her back.  And Jeremy. And Alaric.  Those are the fake deaths.  They probably get their own sub genre.  And there was Klaus, who fake died and then left, but I couldn’t really be sad about his fake death, you know?  Like, I was, but I couldn’t show it. Can I tell you a secret?” She leaned towards him, and Enzo leaned in as well, because that was what you did when there was a secret.  “I cried. When I thought he was dead.  When no one else was around.  I cried.  But if you try to tell anyone, I’ll lie, and say you’re a dirty liar who knows nothing. So don’t tell.” She leaned back in her chair, and gazed up at the ceiling again.  “I cried when he took off for New Orleans, too.  And a little bit after his bang and run. But it’s not because its, like, him in particular.  I just… hate not being good enough.”

“Gorgeous, if Klaus thinks you’re not good enough, he’s as big a wanker as Stefan.”

“I mean, he’s a bigger wanker.  He’s Klaus.  But he left. So obviously I can’t be good enough, right?”

“I dunno.  Maybe he thought he wasn’t good enough for you?”

Caroline threw a wedge at him, and looked vaguely impressed when Enzo managed to catch it between his teeth.  He smirked at her as he chewed on it.  They were surprisingly good.

“Really? Would you choose to abandon someone because you felt you weren’t good enough for them?”

“No, but I’m not a wanker. I thought that went without saying.”

Caroline laughed, and Enzo would admit it did his old heart some good, to see her actually show genuine mirth after all the tears and sadness that had followed her since her mother had died.

“That’s lame,” she said at last.  “Anyone who does that is lame.”

“And a wanker.”

“We already figured that part out.”

She looked out the nearby window, thoughtfully nibbling on a wedge, and Enzo finally nudged her knee with his foot, drawing her gaze back.

“Have you ever considered telling him that he is worth it?”

She looked away, and shook her head slowly.

“Well, maybe you should. I won’t help you with Stefan.  We both agree that he’s the biggest wanker, but I’ll help you with this other bloke.  Consider it a road trip.”

“Are you trying to get me laid, Enzo?”

“Of course, Gorgeous. That’s my job,” he gave her a careless grin that made her laugh again, before giving her knee another nudge.  “Or maybe I’d like to get you out of this hellhole of a town.”

“That would be nice.” Caroline closed her eyes, and laid her head on her arm.  “That would be nice.”

“Just say when.”

She didn’t respond to that. She didn’t acknowledge their conversation in the days that followed as Enzo followed her about, helping her to finish settling her mother’s estate.

She didn’t say anything as the rest of them made plans that, to Enzo, seemed entirely too insane.

She didn’t say anything until he took her out to the graveyard, with some daisies that made him think of Caroline, so he thought Liz would appreciate them.  He hadn’t known the woman, but he figured she must have loved her daughter, even if there had been that awkward attempted murder.

As he put the daisies down, Caroline knelt next to him, tracing her mother’s name on the stone.

“When.”

Send me a ship + a song

[igarbagecannoteven]

Helllllo you seem like someone who reads a lot of fanfictions so i wanted to ask if you can recommend some cake fanfictions? Rather longer ones than oneshots that you currently like? That’d be awesome 🤲🏻 no worries if not!

ok i typed up an extremely detailed answer to this ask only to accidentally delete it but! hopefully i can remember everything i said (if not i shall commit major crimes) anyways if i’m missing something it’s definitely because of that and not bc i spaced it,,,, okay take 2 answering this ask

hi anon!!! i am so incredibly honored that you appreciate my taste in fic enough to ask me for recs i am all !!! i do need to issue 2 disclaimers b4 i begin: 1) i only started reading 5sos fic this fall so there are def other people who have better knowledge than me and 2) i don’t read explicit fics which limits the amount of fic i read/the ones i can rec. however! i am pretty sure i’m one of the only people who searches for 5sos fic by wordcount instead of pairing so if you’re looking for long(er)fic you’ve come to the right place :)) cake is a rather popular fic at the moment so there’s tons of good fic out there beyond what i’m going to rec here! i’m just going to list a few of my favs and if anyone knows of any good fics i left off feel free to add them! (i’m only going to be recc’ing completed fic as a matter of principle but if other people want to go crazy!) also, since i don’t know what you consider “longer fic” i’m going to put the word counts by each fic so you know what you’re getting into lol (i did make sure none of these recs are under 10k tho) okay with all that being said i guess i’ll dive right in!

if you’re a fan of cake fic you almost definitely know of the incredibly talented unofficial queen of cake @kaleidoscopeminds but just in case you should 100% check out her ao3! she has several longer fics, but my personal favorites are flatmate au (20k), journalist calum/musician luke au (16.8k), and her roadtrip fic (36.6k). they’re all incredibly written and clever and funny (with just the right amount of angst) so if you haven’t checked them out i highly recommend it! 

if when you said longfic you *really* meant longfic, then you have to check out vegas au (88.4k) by @emmybazy from all the way back in 2014! it has some absolutely stunning worldbuilding and has a very unique way of framing the plot that i’ve never seen in fic before which made it a very refreshing read for me! if you’re looking to get lost in a fic this is the one for you 😊

moving along to another member of cake royalty, @staticsounds is a brilliant fic writer with loads of cake fics! (you should definitely check out her ao3 if you’re a cake person) my personal favorites of her longer cake fics are her la au (40.4k) and the cake version of bake off au (17.9k)! they’re both total showstoppers (get it? bc bake off? yes i do think i’m hilarious thank u) while also having very different moods? if that makes sense? like they both fit different vibes i look for at different times which is wonderful!!

and of course i can’t talk about molly and not bring up one of my favorite fic projects of all time, which was her collab with the spectacular @cringeycal for their college dance au (15k) & college pet au (14.7k) (that is a horrible way to describe it and i apologize but it’s also 6 am and i haven’t slept yet so cut me some slack) these are both genius and hilarious and i could go on about them for actual hours so if you haven’t read them yet go crazy go stupid and if you don’t love them i’ll eat scorpions on live television :))

how could i talk about cake fics without bringing up beloved hanukkah fic (13.6k) by the light of my life @clumsyclifford?? this fic is not only just a lovely piece of prose all around it just has so much love and warmth and fluff it’s practically overflowing and i personally think it should be required reading bc it’s so !!! bella hasn’t written any other cake over 10k but i have yet to read a fic of hers i haven’t loved so if you’re looking for some shorter cake (or longer of another pairing) you should def check out her ao3 😊

if you’re looking for some angsty fic, i highly recommend @lifewasradical ‘s fic where calum leaves the band (10.1k) it is absolutely heartwrenching in the best way!! she also has an adorable bakery au (11k) that is extremely fluffy and cute!! 

there’s also her collab with @pixiegrl for their wrong number au (16.1k) if you’re looking for some disaster college kids making a mess of falling in love! 

ok this post is getting very long and the sun has just risen (insert yikes emoji) so i’ll wrap it off with @michaelsarmbandtattoo ‘s trans luke au (12.8k) which balances fluff and angst extremely well imo and is a great read! 

ok it is now past 6:30 am and i have an appointment at 10 and have yet to sleep so! that’s all for now! i am almost certainly forgetting some excellent fic but my brain is fried from last week of the semester vibes so someone else can fill in the blanks. this is probably way more rambly than you were looking for but it wouldn’t be a megs’ production if it wasn’t :)) thanks for asking for recs i’d love to do this again sometime for another pairing! (not this week tho lol) 💙

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[tastesoftamriel]

Okay, so we've heard the worst... what about the best (assuming you haven't stated this earlier and I've somehow overlooked it)? That food from each race which you could gladly imagine savoring for the rest of your life and never tire of it, your unquestioned favorite that you consider the most iconic example of each culture's style of cuisine.

I've written a list of my favourites before here, but I've got so many favourite foods that one list just simply is not enough. Here we go again! ~Talviel

Bosmer

Most people find wood elf cuisine to be rather bland, but for me there are a few standouts and traditional comfort food is one of them. My guilty pleasure is a good, old fashioned Valenwood-style stuffed meat roll, or "Y'ffre's roll". It's usually whatever the meat of the day is (often poultry or venison), which is then stuffed with cheese, wrapped in ham or bacon, and rolled in a buttery hoarvoar-carapace crust. Oh, it's also deep-fried in lard, and is normally about the size of a large skeever. Ingesting more than one of these annually is not recommended, especially for non-Bosmer.

Altmer

I'm going to get boxed for this back home in Skyrim, but I admit it. The Altmer are truly the pastry masters of Tamriel. My recent favourite has been an absolutely to-die-for sponge cake from Shimmerene. It's a wonderful tiered slice of soft sponge soaked in cherry blossom liqueur, delicate pistachio cream and fresh strawberries, and topped with a fresh, pitted lychee. I would swim all the way back to Summerset for another slice if I could.

Redguard

Could I ever get sick of Redguard cooking? No. My current obsession is braised goat-and-camel stew. I thought the camel thing was a little weird at the beginning too, but the meat is pulled to tender perfection, along with hearty boneless chunks of flame-roasted goat. It's served in a hot, garlic-based curry with okra, harissa and cumin, and is the perfect blend of fragrant and spicy. It's usually served with chickpea flatbread or couscous on the side, and is best washed down with a cold goat-milk lassi (or several).

Nord

Even though it's summer, I've been craving one of my favourite Nord winter dishes. I'm sorry to disappoint if you're expecting something fancy, but a big bowl of creamy rice porridge with a good dollop of butter, cinnamon, and sugar is one of the most satisfying foods on Nirn (doubly so if you have snowberry preserves). I'm not biased, you're biased!

Khajiit

Since I first went to Elsweyr, the people around me tend to comment that I eat a lot of pilau. It's not because it's the only food I like or anything, but just because it's so good. Pilau is a deliciously fluffy basmati rice dish, which is cooked with saffron, butter, moon sugar, and nuts. It's usually a side dish for the Khajiit, and while I'm happy to eat mine plain, it's customary to have with both meat and vegetable dishes.

Argonian

There are precisely two races on Nirn who consider frog to be a food: the Bretons and the Argonians. Why the other races don't want to join in is beyond me, because by Dibella's sweet milky melons, I think frog legs are delicious. In Black Marsh there are a few different ways of cooking them, my absolute favourite is stir-fried frog legs with swamp ginger, oyster sauce, fiery marsh peppercorns, and loads of garlic and onions. They're meant to be eaten with your hands in a group, with everyone sitting around a large bowl. The gravy at the bottom is served with hot steamed barley, and I absolutely recommend Argonian garlic frog legs to all non-picky eaters who aren't afraid of flavour!

Orc

Orcish cuisine is another of those off-putting areas even for Tamrielic food aficionados, but those who know where to look will find some true gems. While I'm not normally a fan of horker or chub loon, I have developed quite an appetite for Old Orsinium-style barbecue skewers. I don't even know what goes into most of these mystery skewers, but I've had stronghold chefs and Hearth-wives tell me that depending on what's available, any game is game from echatere to venison, horse and even wild mammoth. Meat chunks are stacked with peppers, turnips, potatoes, and other root vegetables. The entire skewer is basted with a secret frost mirriam-based barbecue sauce, which varies between clans and regions. The trick to getting these meat skewers so delicious lies in the sheer heat of the roasting fire, which is in this case actually in the forge!  Barbecue skewers are usually a staple when Hunt-, Forge-, and Hearthwives have a good relationship with each other and work together, and it's said that a stronghold with a good meat skewer is one that's ruled well.

Breton

I've been dreaming about the lovely pine-nut, cheese, and spinach giant tortelli from High Rock lately, and for good reason. Take your average tortellini, made with a fresh egg dough, and make it about the size of a palm. Stuff it with a fragrant blend of pine nuts, ricotta and pecorino cheeses, seasoned minced spinach, and serve with a rich browned butter sauce and more pine nuts. A timeless classic that's both simple yet satisfying.

Dunmer

It may be the influence of my friend @lisandrelovesyams , but I went from being rather skeptical to rather fanatical about ash yams. I have quite a fondness for the Grey Quarter staple: jacket ash yams. The biggest ash yams are baked to perfection, and filled with whatever the day's produce is. A typical jacket yam comes stuffed with stewed bantam guar or smoked seafood (usually salmon or crab), Eidar cheese, spicy saltrice mash, and if you're lucky, a good dollop of scuttle on top. It's a Skyrim-inspired take on Dunmeri cuisine and is an absolute delight on a cold day, washed down with a mug of shein.

Imperial

Ah, my beloved Cyrodiilic fare. Now that summer is here, I am very much enjoying cooking with all the lovely fresh vegetables currently in season! One of my absolute favourite dishes is a classic risotto with mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, rocket, and a good measure of Surilie Brothers pinot grigio. Top it with a good amount of cave-aged West Weald parmesan and crispy pancetta, and you have an instant winner that even vegetable-haters will love!

[awkwardpenguinproductions]

What food were you surprised to learn most of us goyim don’t know about or haven’t tried? My coworker a few years ago made everyone in the kitchen some of her matzah ball soup, and was super surprised at how many of them had never heard of it. (It was super delicious) Do you have a traditional food item you kind of wish were more popular so you could go out to eat and find it on random menus?

oooh boy, where do I even start?

So matzah ball soup is definitely one, especially the recipe my mom makes, which is clear broth (usually simmered for most of the day and strained before serving) with matzah balls and chicken shreds, and for Rosh Hashanah the kneydlach are replaced with thin egg noodles. I once had a variation of matzah ball soup called mishmash soup, which is chicken soup with matzah balls, kreplach (dumplings), and noodles, and some recipes also have rice and kasha as well. I had it once, and the place I had it has since closed (sad, sad, sad day in the Penguin Family’s New York branch) and I have been looking for another place to get it for TEN YEARS. 

UPDATE ON THE MISHMASH SEARCH: So I just ran a google search for local Jewish delis in my area (I do not live in New York, which makes this search somewhat challenging) and I found a place nearby that HAS IT!!! They call it “chicken in the pot” but it’s basically mishmash soup. I know what I’m doing for lunch tomorrow.

I also really miss my mom’s potato kugel. Kugel is a type of baked casserole that can be made either with potatoes and onions, for a savory dish, or with noodles and eggs, for a sweet dish. I prefer potato kugel, which my mom makes of grated potatoes and onions mixed with egg and matzah meal (basically ground up matzahs) and baked until the top is golden brown and the edges are crunchy. it is SO FUCKING GOOD, especially with brisket gravy drizzled on top. 

There’s also knishes, which are sort of like hash browns except that they’re made of mashed potatoes instead of chopped or grated potatoes and they’re also filled with stuff (usually meat or cheese, but not both because that’s not kosher) and fried.

GEFILTE FISH, I can’t believe I almost forgot about gefilte fish. 

Okay, so gefilte fish are basically round cake-blobs of ground up fish (usually carp, pike, mullet, or whitefish) mixed with eggs, matzah meal or breadcrumbs (if breadcrumbs are used, then the end product is not considered kosher for Passover), spices, and sometimes onion, carrot, or potato, all mashed up together and boiled in fish stock. Modern mass produced gefilte fish are made into cakes and then poached or baked, and then stuffed into jars with jelly made from fish stock like the pic above. 

I THOUGHT THESE WERE SO GROSS AS A KID. We usually eat them for Shabbat and/or Passover (usually Passover in my family), and wee Teviya thought she had never seen a grosser foodstuff in her life. And then I tried some at Jewish summer camp, and MY MIND WAS BLOWN. They are so good. I can’t even explain why they’re good, although I prefer mine at room temp with as little jelly as possible in evidence (my grandmother would serve hers cold, which may have explained why little me found them so unappetizing).

It’s so hard to find these at the local supermarket when it’s not Passover season where I live (as stated above, I don’t live in New York, where my grandparents and my weird Orthodox relatives live). Maaaybe they’ll be in the microscopic kosher section of the foreign foods aisle, maybe not. I mostly associate them with holiday eating, so I generally don’t go looking for them all that often, but every once in a blue moon I’ll get a hankering.

ughghghg I miss real Jewish food. Hopefully this deli I’m hitting up tomorrow lives up to The Stage and Katz’s. They put cheese on their meat sandwiches (again, not kosher), so I’m a little skeptical. If there’s mayo on the pastrami I may riot. (I don’t even really like pastrami, but mayo on pastrami is nigh heretical whether I like pastrami or not.)

I’m doing a #jewish on main q&a in honor of Passover! Come ask me stuff! Disclaimers and warning here.

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk: 4

Series Masterlist

Summary: You and Fred begin to figure out your friendship moving forward, or you thought you did.

Warning: Swearing, smut, unprotected sex

Word Count: 1,866

May 10, 2021

You haven’t heard from Fred since that day.  You don’t know if he is coming but sitting in the empty exam room you realize he may not be. The doctor opens the door. “Hi (Y/N). How are you doing, any morning sickness, hormonal changes?" 

 “Yes and yes! The morning sickness was really bad for a few weeks, like all day every day but it seems to be dying down. Still have it sometimes but it’s not as frequent. But I find my hormones off the wall some days.” 

 “All very normal. But the hormonal changes will likely get worse" you groan “you’re approaching you’re second trimester so the morning sickness should subside, but…that’s when a woman’s sex drive normally goes into high gear, urges all the time…” the door flies open. 

 “Sorry was caught at work, I’m Fred the father” he sticks his hand out. 

 “We were just getting started, if you want to take a seat" she points to the chair beside the table. As he hits down you shift in your chair, you smell his cologne mixed with sweat, intoxicating. She lifts your gown pouring some cold jelly on your stomach and begins moving the wand. She stops and points to the screen “this is your baby" flicking on button “and this is its heart beat, sounds good and healthy." 

 Fred’s absent mindlessly grabs your hand. You sit there barely listening to the doctor as you focus on the heartbeat. She hands you each a picture “If you don’t have any questions then I will see you at your next appointment and good luck with what we talked about." 

 With that the doctor leaves the room and Fred stares at you “I need to get dressed” you whisper to Fred “and I need my hand back." He releases your hand and gets up and leaves the room. You walk into the waiting room and see Fred there he gets up to leave with you “Can we go somewhere and talk, maybe grab a coffee” you nod. 

 “I wanted to apologize for how I reacted last time. It was a lot to process all at once.”

 “It’s okay” you respond.  

 “No it wasn’t” he exclaims. “So what was the doctor talking about at the end? The good luck thing?” A light blush comes across your face “oh nothing” you respond.

 “Are you sure? If there’s something going on with the baby I feel like I should know” he says getting offended.

“Oh no, it’s nothing with baby it’s just stuff with hormones.” He doesn’t look convinced. “I promise it’s just something that every woman has to deal with when they’re pregnant it’s not a big deal if it was anything with the baby I would let you know right away.” Fred lets it go, but you can tell he still has questions.

_______________________________________________________________

Mushrooms?” He questions. “I thought most women crave pickles or ice cream.” 

 “Yeah I know it’s weird they have to be cooked though, grilled, fried, baked, in a sauce, no sauce doesn’t matter just as long as it’s cooked. Like every meal I eat has to have mushrooms, sometimes I just eat mushrooms as a snack. I know its super weird.” You laugh.

 Fred and you have been talking a little bit since the last time you saw each other. He’s been checking in on you, your morning sickness and asking a million questions from things he has googled or the book he’s been reading. You are trying to figure out how co-parenting is going to work once the baby is born and having some form of friendship will likely help. 

“But otherwise the appointment went fine. The doctor says that we can probably find out the gender in a few weeks if we want” Fred is silent and you can hear a commotion on the other end. “You okay?”

 “Oh sorry I got to go we’re having an unscheduled team meeting, you know playoff stuff.” 

 “No worries I’ll talk to you later.”  

 ______________________________________________________________    

June 1, 2020

 A few days later Fred’s at your door, with the Leafs recently being eliminated in the second round. “Hey what are you doing here?” He reaches into the bag and pulls out mushrooms, you just laugh letting him into your apartment “I thought I could make you lunch” he says.  

 He looks down to your stomach “wow really popped these last couple of weeks.” 

 “Yeah growing a human does that to a woman.” You laugh, “you can touch it if you want." 

 He walks over “you sure?” you just nod. He slowly takes his hand and places it on your stomach, a smile spreading across his face. You feel wetness pool as you remember the last time his hands were on you and how they felt. How his fingers were in you, with your juices dripping down them, how they felt around your neck. 

 “Have you felt anything, like kicks?” he asks bringing you back.

 “No nothing yet but it’s still kind of early to feel kicks. Likely not for a bit longer, I’ve heard with first pregnancies it can be later on too.” He takes his hand off and turns back to the food. You finally take a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in.

 “How have you been feeling” he asks looking through your cupboards to find what he needs to make food but you get lost staring at him. You can tell the playoffs have taken a toll on them he looks tired with bags under his eyes, but he still looks really good tight t-shirt, khaki shorts. Those second trimester hormones have really kicked in. 

He stops cooking to stare at you waiting for your response you shake your heads “I’m sorry what?” you look at his hand wrapped around the knife.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

 “Yeah sorry these uh hormones, and pregnancy brain, and stuff it’s all bugging me, didn’t realize how badly were until you got here.” He looks almost offended by that comment but keeps cooking. A few minutes later you are on your couch eating stuffed mushroom caps. He still hasn’t said anything. 

 “Remember that thing the doctor mentioned at the last appointment?”  He nods. “Well during the 2nd trimester hormones start to go all over the place, including my sex drive. Like everything turns me on. I’ve tried to deal with it myself” you pause for a minute “but it just isn’t doing it. And it’s not like I can ask someone to help me. I mean who will sleep with a visibly pregnant woman? I just have to deal with it during the pregnancy...” 

 You stop rambling and sit silently finishing your food. You take your plate to the kitchen “why did I say all that “runs through your mind. You sit back down beside Fred, what feels like hours pass before he finally speaks. 

 “Did you ever consider asking the person who got you pregnant to help" his hand resting gently on your thigh sending a shiver up your spine.  “I mean I get not wanting a random person, but I already slept with you once, what’s another time? And from what I remember it was unbelievable. 3? Or was it 4?” He smirks, leaning closer inches from your face now whispering. “I’m sure I can do a better job than what you have been doing yourself.”

 “What if things get complicated? I want us to have a good relationship going forward for when this baby is born.” 

 “When has sex ever made something complicated?” he questions with a smirk. “We can stop at any time. We don’t have to just thought I could help you out" he begins to lean back but you quickly jump to straddle him. His hands go to your hips and you grind against him, feeling him grow hard under you. 

His lips connect with yours as his hands begin to slide up, bringing your shirt off. He slides your bra down, His mouth connects to your nipple, you lean back and groan. His hand making quick work of your bra clasp and his hands slide into your pants and cup your ass. 

 You tear his shirt off and begin kissing his chest, he quickly flips you so you are lying on the couch and undoes your jeans and slides them down. He returns placing soft kisses on your inner thigh and your back arches forward. 

 Fred chuckles, coming up to you and kissing you. One of his hands goes to your hardened nipple and begins massaging it as he deepens the kiss. Your hands rake down his back. His hand slips down into your underwear sliding it over your clit as he feels your wetness “you weren’t lying, you need this bad.” 

“Fuck you have no idea.” 

 He uses his 2 fingers to play with your folds gently opening you up and uses his other hand to pull your underwear down. He slips two fingers in, causing you to moan in pleasure as your back lifts. He uses his other hand to apply pressure to your hips to keep you from moving.  His mouth moves to your neck, lightly biting you, as his fingers continue to fuck you increasing the pace. “You gonna cum for me babygirl?”  

“Close" you respond. He picks up the pace, his mouth moving back to your nipple swirling around it. His thumb comes up to rub your clit sending you over the edge.  

His fingers slowly leave you as you come down from your high. He removes his belt and pulls his pants and boxers down. You reach to stroke his dick and he grabs your wrist “this is all about you, and making sure you feel good" he says. 

He returns over you and kisses you lightly and he shows you a condom “Do I need this?” 

“Well you already got me pregnant” you chuckle. “And since I’m pregnant I’m not sleeping with anyone else” 

 “I haven’t since before we were last together” he says dropping the condom on the floor. 

 He lines himself up and pushes into you. You moan loudly, you had forgotten how large he was, how he stretched you out before. He slowly pulls out and pushes back in, a whimper leaving you. 

He continues this slow pace and your hands grab onto his shoulder, holding him close to you as he begins to speed up. 

“Fuck.” He pulls out and slams back in “Oh fuck! Yes!” his pace is very fast now as you begin to grip his back hard. You can feel his thrusts getting sloppy so you reach down and begin to stimulate your clit. 

Danish swear words spill out of his mouth as he slams into you “Fuck let go. I want to see you" he snarls as his mouth connects to your nipple gently biting. 

 You come undone around him. You clench and lean your head back. Shortly after you feel yourself fill up with Fred’s warmth as he collapses onto you. A few moments later after you’ve both caught your breath, he pulls out and looks down at you.

 “So did this help?”

“You have no idea" 

Next Chapter