#I don’t have any feelings yet but I don’t think I have to cuz we just met
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blitz0hno · 1 month ago
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I hate hate HATE knowing I'm switching/that we switched but already not knowing who I am orr who's stepping in or where the line is between me and that other alter
like we can tell when we're switching better with our meds but this makes the dissociation SO much worse and trying to think clearly about it makes my head fuzzy
It was a good day over all but since we've been masking less everything is a blur lately and I might be freaking out a little bit
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trickortreatmeout · 1 year ago
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That feeling when you get exactly what you asked for but it’s so different from what you’re used to that you’re trying to stay sane and not fuck up something that you know would be good for you
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dollerines · 1 year ago
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How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying
So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.
Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !
You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.
All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.
So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”
At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.
WHAT I MANIFESTED :
Desired body and face
Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly
And everything in my sub playlist
My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷
Moving countries I now live in ny
Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before
Extremely rich rich like hella bands
Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue
Plus +++
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!
YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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actuallyjustabiscuit · 6 months ago
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I’ve been dissecting Ragatha’s character with surgical tools because I am not the least bit normal about this damn doll, and something that I’ve gathered upon rewatch is how much responsibility Ragatha has been taking for Pomni’s first day. Prepare for another character analysis about everyone’s favorite confirmed girl failure
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Useless Lesbian jokes aside, it’s so interesting to me how much Ragatha cares about Pomni liking her. To the point where she believes Pomni’s terrible awful no good very bad first day has some relevance to how she thinks Pomni thinks of her.
At first I thought this was just the result of her people pleasing tendencies that needs everyone to like her for her to have any degree of self worth (no I’m not projecting, shut up), but she doesn’t seem to be this pushy about getting along with anyone else.
Another possible reason for this behavior was that she just wants to make the newcomer feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible to lessen the blow of being trapped, and she’s doing such a bad job of it that it’s making her think less of herself for failing. But here she’s specifically talking about the “horrible experience” of having to deal with Kaufmo’s abstraction.
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Here Ragatha is literally writhing in pain from glitching after getting her ass handed to her by Kaufmo and she briefly stops Pomni from leaving to get the help she needs to apologize to her about having a bad first day.
Honestly, Pomni’s awkward response to this was hella fitting.
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Like, Jesus Christ, Ragatha. Priorities girl.
When I first watched this, I thought her little apology fell under the same category as someone apologizing for hearing bad news, (y’know like a “I’m sorry your dog died” kinda thing) said in a way to express sympathy over a bad situation. But in episode 2, it really feels like she actually blames herself for what happened.
and I think I know why.
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It was Ragatha’s idea to go see Kaufmo in the first place and introduce Pomni to him. We know that she honestly believes that participating in the adventures are essential to persevering a person’s sanity. And yet she didn’t suggest to play along with the game Caine left for them. Instead, she thought it would be nice to check up on a friend who was suspiciously absent. And was, according to what Kinger told them before they left, slipping off the deep end.
I know hindsight is 20/20, but these should have been major red flags for her that Kaufmo may not have been alright and they should’ve all probably stayed away. And I think she realized that too late, which is what might’ve led to that awkward apology to Pomni in the hallway.
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Kinger is right to reassure Ragatha that Pomni doesn’t blame her for what happened (which is why she thought Ragatha was being weird for apologizing in the first place), but I imagine Ragatha is the type of person who can’t help but dwell on the “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve”s of life. So it makes sense that she would continue to take things personally. And I bet it got even worse after
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…yeah. That.
Of course, I don’t think Ragatha could’ve known that was gonna be the outcome. But she was very wary when Pomni suggested it, loudly wondering if that was even “allowed”. But she went along with it cuz it made Pomni happy.
Whelp.
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Yeah this woman’s self esteem so about to go into the negatives. Which is why I’m really hoping for a good heart-to-heart between these two. Cuz they both really need it. Ragatha especially.
I think it would really help her to know Pomni wouldn’t want her to feel like less than nothing.
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stylesispunk · 2 months ago
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"I'll never leave, Never mind"
not outbreak! Joel Miller x f!reader
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Summary: You and Joel met at the hospital that may have sealed your fate.
wc: 16,3k. Longest one I've ever written.
warnings: extreme angst, grieving, death,No proofreading.
a/n: There is no new chapter of 'Silent Strain' tonight, but here is a new one shoot. This is a sad sad and rushed one and it was heavily inspired on 'we live in time' cuz florence and andrew content made me think on it a lot. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. 💌
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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Joel and you could have said that fate has its way to interlock threads among people.
Some people met through friends at a party.
Others had their long way from kids, from friends to lovers and getting married.
And others met by coincidence,
When both of them ended up with a broken arm and broken fingers in a hospital.
One breaking up with his lifetime girlfriend.
The other foolish being cheated on.
Joel was leaning back in the chair, his arm in a sling, his expression was pure irritation and pain. Across from him, you sat cradling your bandaged fingers, the sting of adrenaline still fresh from your impulsive decision. The silence felt strange and weird, after all everything was a dream engulfed in fire.
You glanced at the man in front of you, studying his profile, he way his brow furrowed slightly, the tension in his jaw. He caught your gaze and raised an eyebrow in question. Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, you blurted out, "What happened to your arm?"
Joel’s eyes flickered to his sling, a small, almost amused smirk playing at his lips. "A bar fight," he replied, his voice low and gravelly. "Didn't go quite like I planned."
"Sounds like it wasn't your night," you replied, trying to suppress a grin.
He chuckled softly. "You could say that." Then, nodding at your bandaged hand, he added, "What about you? Those fingers look pretty messed up."
You hesitated for a moment, debating whether to tell the truth. "Punched my ex," you admitted finally. "Turns out, hitting someone with rings on isn't the smartest move."
Joel's grin widened, and for a moment, the tension between you both dissipated. "What about?," he asked, leaning back in his chair.
"cheating" You said, with a lazy smaile.
You both gaze at each other, still unaware that the woman your ex had cheated with was Joel's ex-girlfriend. Fate, or maybe the universe, had twisted your lives into a messy knot, and the hospital room was just the start of what would prove to be an unexpected connection between two strangers meeting at a hospital for the first time.
"How can people do that to you?." His gaze grew distant, him not saying the truth behind the statement and you wondered what ghosts were lingering in his past. The thought that you might be more connected than you realized hadn’t crossed your mind yet, but somehow, it felt like this conversation was meant to happen.
"So, what happened?" you asked, a little softer this time. "With the bar fight, I mean."
Joel shifted his gaze back to you, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a lopsided smile. "You wouldn’t believe me if I told you," he replied. There was a hint of challenge in his tone, as if daring you to ask more.
"Try me," you shot back, leaning forward slightly.
He chuckled, more to himself than to you. "Alright, then. I walked into a bar to clear my head. Turns out, my ex was there, drinking with some guy who looked like he thought he owned the place. Words were said, and, well… my fist got to know his face better than I planned." He winced, probably at the memory or the pain radiating from his arm.
"Your ex?" you echoed, a strange feeling creeping up your spine.
"Yeah," Joel said, nodding. "She was the reason I needed a drink in the first place. She cheated and we broke up, but seeing her with him… didn’t exactly help. And before you ask, no, I don’t know why I still care." There was a bitter edge to his words, one that made you think of your own ex and the anger still simmering in your chest.
You were about to respond, maybe tell him that you understood too well, when the door to the waiting room opened, and a nurse stepped in. She glanced between the two of you, holding a clipboard. “Mr. Miller?” she called, and Joel raised his good hand.
"That’s me," he said, pushing himself to his feet with a grimace. The nurse gestured for him to follow, but before he could move, he looked back at you, a strange expression crossing his face.
“Maybe when I’m back, we can still have this conversation” he suggested, a hint of a grin returning.
You nodded, feeling a pull toward him that was hard to ignore. "I’d like that," you replied, watching as he disappeared down the hallway.
You had just turned to leave when you heard Joel’s voice behind you.
"Hey," he called out, a little hesitantly. You stopped in your tracks and turned back to face him.
Joel rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not the type to do this often. "I was just thinkin’... I don’t really wanna leave things like this. Mind if I get your number?"
For a second, you were caught off guard. Joel, tough and reserved, asking for your number? It felt like one of those moments where the universe gave you a choice a small step toward something unknown but maybe worth exploring.
You smiled, this time a bit more genuine, and nodded. "Yeah, sure."
Pulling out your phone, you exchanged numbers, the simple act suddenly feeling like a big deal, like some invisible line had been crossed.
"Thanks," he said quietly, his eyes meeting yours again, and for a moment, there was that same unspoken connection between you.
"Guess I’ll see you around," you said, slipping your phone back into your pocket.
Joel gave you a small, almost shy smile. "Yeah. I’d like that."
With one last glance, you turned and walked away, feeling a little lighter than before. And even though you had no idea what would come next, there was something about the way Joel had stopped you that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something new.
A new friendship,
A new story,
A new romance.
You didn't know, but there was a good feeling about those big brown eyes of Joel when he looked at you.
Joel had met a girl who made him feel at ease, like being bathed by the warm sun of a chilly autumn afternoom.
And you, you had met a man who made you believe not everyone wanted to hurt you.
Something like golden in color, something like dawn being seen from the beach.
Pure, fearless and sweet.
Later that night, as you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the events of the day kept replaying in your mind. Meeting Joel, the strange connection, the shocking revelation about his ex—it was all too much to process. You turned over, trying to let sleep take over, but your mind wouldn’t settle.
Just as you were about to close your eyes, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. You blinked in the darkness, surprised anyone would be texting this late. Grabbing your phone, you saw Joel’s name light up on the screen. Your heart did a small, unexpected flip as you opened the message.
Joel: Hope I didn’t wake you. Just wanted to say… It was really nice to meet you.
You stared at the message, feeling a warmth spread through you. It wasn’t a grand declaration, just a simple, honest text. And yet, something about it made you smile in the quiet of your room.
You hesitated for a moment, then typed back:
You: No, you didn’t wake me. I’m glad we met too. Today was...nice after all.
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That's how it started between the both of you.
It was coincidental.
It was legendary.
Three months after talking, two months after running after each other and hanging out.
Joel finally asked you out on a date.
Joel stood in the doorway, scanning your coffee shop before his eyes found you behind the counter. For a split second, the same look of surprise crossed his face as it had the day you first met, like he hadn’t fully expected to see you here. But then his expression softened, and he gave you a small nod as he walked toward the counter.
"A cup of coffee, Miller?" you asked with a grin, trying to hide the flutter of nerves that came with seeing him.
Joel scratched the back of his neck, looking a little uncomfortable, but there was something different in his posture today, like he had something in the back of his mind . "Actually… I was hoping..." he beganhis voice low and a bit hesitant.
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. 'What?"
He took a breath, looking almost shy for a man like him, and you could see him working up the courage. "I was wonderin’ if you’d want to go out sometime. Maybe grab a drink or dinner." His eyes locked onto yours, and despite the casual tone, there was a weight behind his words, like he’d been thinking about this since the last time you saw each other.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you found yourself momentarily speechless. The idea of Joel, this tough, guarded man, asking you out felt both surprising and strangely right at the same time.
"You want to take me out?" you asked, making sure you hadn’t misheard.
Joel gave a small, almost sheepish smile. "Yeah, I do. I mean, if you’re up for it. Something fancier, just… somewhere that isn't your coffee hop or a hospital hallway."
You couldn’t help but smile at that. His awkwardness was endearing, and there was something in his eyes that made it clear he wasn’t playing games—this wasn’t just about grabbing a drink. It felt like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you.
"Sure," you said, your voice soft but certain. "I’d like that."
Joel’s shoulders visibly relaxed, and he smiled, a real one this time. "Alright, then. How about tomorrow night? I know a good place."
"Tomorrow sounds great," you replied, trying to ignore the excited flutter in your chest. "Just let me know where."
"I will," Joel nodded, and for a moment, he just stood there, the air between you charged with something unspoken.
As he turned to leave, he paused at the door, glancing back at you with that same small, shy smile. "I’ll see you tomorrow."
You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through you as you watched him walk out of the shop. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.
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The next evening, you stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down the fabric of your red dress. It was simple, elegant, and just a little daring, something you hadn’t worn in a while. There was a nervous excitement bubbling inside you as you got ready. It wasn’t often you went on dates, and certainly not with someone like Joel.
As you approached the restaurant, your heart raced a little faster. The soft glow of the lights spilling out onto the sidewalk set a warm and inviting tone, but it was the thought of seeing Joel that had your nerves on edge.
When you stepped inside, scanning the room, you saw him right away. Joel was seated near the window, dressed in a dark button-up shirt that suited him well, though it still carried that ruggedness you’d come to associate with him. His head was down, focused on the menu in front of him, unaware that you had arrived.
But then, as if sensing your presence, he looked up—and his reaction was instant. His eyes widened, and his mouth parted slightly in disbelief. Joel sat there, frozen for a moment, his eyes taking in the sight of you in the red dress. He hadn’t expected this. The sight of you knocked the air right out of his lungs.
You caught the way his mouth hung open just a bit, the look of awe in his eyes. It was as if, for a second, he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. You smiled shyly, stepping toward him, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks under his gaze.
Joel stood up quickly, almost knocking the chair back in his haste. "Wow," he breathed, barely managing to find the words. "You… you look incredible." His voice was low, almost reverent, like he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you.
"Thanks," you replied, feeling a little bashful under his gaze but also enjoying how flustered he seemed. "You don’t look too bad yourself."
Joel chuckled, but his eyes remained on you, still taking in the way the dress hugged your figure, the way the soft light from the restaurant made you glow. For a man who was usually so composed and reserved, he was completely undone by you tonight.
As you reached the table, Joel moved to pull out your chair, a little clumsily, but his gesture was sweet. "Here, let me," he offered, still looking at you like you’d just walked out of a dream.
"Thanks," you murmured as you sat down, glancing up at him with a smile. He was still standing, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he finally sat across from you.
For a few moments, Joel was quiet, his usual gruffness replaced by something softer, almost tender. He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head slightly as if trying to process what he was feeling. "I wasn’t expectin’ this," he admitted, his voice a little rough. "You look… I don’t even have the words."
You laughed softly, feeling the tension ease between you. "I’m glad I could surprise you."
Joel leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, his eyes never leaving yours. "You did. And I’m real glad you’re here."
As the evening unfolded, the conversation flowed easily, and despite the initial nerves, you both found a rhythm. Joel’s lingering stares, his quiet admiration, the way his eyes softened every time you smiled—everything felt charged with an undeniable connection. There was something between you, something unspoken but very real.
And as the night went on, you couldn’t help but wonder if the universe really did have its own funny way of pulling people together.
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It felt like a movie. Waking up next to Joel felt like living inside a dream you never wanted to end. Each morning, as the sunlight spilled through the curtains, the reality of it all washed over you, how something that started so unexpectedly had grown into this, something solid, something that felt like home. It felt like a movie, the kind where everything was beautifully imperfect, but just right in all the ways that mattered.
You turned in bed, watching him sleep, his chest rising and falling steadily. There was a calmness in his face, a softness that most people never got to see. His hair was a little messier, a few strands falling into his eyes, and you reached out gently, brushing them aside. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open, and when he saw you, a sleepy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Morning,” he mumbled, his voice rough from sleep.
“Morning,” you whispered back, smiling as you traced a finger along his arm. "Feels like we’re in one of those romantic comedies, doesn’t it?"
Joel chuckled softly, his deep laugh rumbling through his chest. "Except I’m no prince, and you didn’t have to kiss a frog to get me."
You rolled your eyes playfully, but the truth was, every day with Joel felt like something special, like fate had somehow woven your lives together in the most unexpected way. You thought back to that first day in the hospital when you’d both been broken in different ways, and now, here you were, piecing each other back together.
"You say that like you’re not the most decent guy I’ve ever met," you teased, settling back into his arms.
Joel tightened his hold around you, his fingers brushing through your hair. "You give me too much credit."
"I don’t think I give you enough," you replied softly, your voice laced with sincerity.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at you with those deep, soulful eyes, the kind that always made you feel seen, really seen. Joel was never one for flowery words, but his actions spoke volumes—the way he looked after you, the way he showed up for you, every single day, even when he didn’t need to.
"Can’t believe it’s been a year," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Me neither," you admitted. "Happy anniversary" you said, kissing all of his face.
Joel smiled as your lips brushed across his face, his eyes closing briefly as he soaked in the tenderness of the moment. "Happy anniversary," he murmured, his voice low and warm, as if the words held more weight than he could fully express. His hands slid up to cradle your face, pulling you closer as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.
“You’ve made this past year somethin’ I never thought I’d have again,” Joel whispered against your skin, his voice thick with emotion. His thumb traced the line of your jaw, the small, intimate gesture sending warmth through you. “Never thought I’d feel this way.”
You smiled, your heart swelling at his words. "You deserve it, Joel. We both do." You kissed the tip of his nose, then his cheek, trailing kisses along his stubbled jawline. "I’m lucky to wake up next to you every day."
He let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head as though he couldn’t quite believe it himself. "Feels like I’m the lucky one.
You laughed softly, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him closer. "I guess we’re both lucky, then."
Joel gazed at you, his eyes soft, filled with an emotion that words couldn’t quite capture. "Don’t know what I’d do without you," he whispered, his voice just a little rough around the edges.
"Good thing you don’t have to find out," you teased, leaning in for another kiss, this one lingering, as if the moment itself held a promise. The world outside the bedroom didn’t matter, not right now. All that mattered was this, the quiet love that had grown between you both over the past year.
The kind of love that, even in its simplicity, felt like the most beautiful thing in the world.
Later that morning, you and Joel stood side by side in the kitchen, working in comfortable silence as you prepared breakfast together. The smell of coffee filled the air, and the sound of sizzling bacon accompanied the quiet hum of morning. Both of you had decided to take the day off—no work, no interruptions—just a day to be together and celebrate your anniversary.
As you stirred the eggs, Joel suddenly cleared his throat, drawing your attention. You glanced over to see him watching you with that familiar, warm smile that always made your heart skip a beat.
"You know," he began, his voice soft, "I’ve been thinkin’ about somethin’." He flipped the bacon, pausing for a moment, almost like he was searching for the right words. "I know some people think we’re movin’ fast—bein’ together the way we are after only a year."
You set the spatula down, turning to face him fully. You’d heard the comments before—friends and family making subtle remarks about how quickly things had progressed between you and Joel. But none of that had ever mattered to you. It felt right.
"And… what do you think?" you asked gently, curious where his thoughts were leading.
Joel looked at you, his expression serious for a moment, before it softened into something deep, something real. "I think it’s the happiest I’ve ever been," he admitted, his voice steady. "And I don’t care if people think we’re movin’ too fast. Everything just feels right with you." He set the pan aside and stepped closer to you, reaching out to gently cup your face.
Your breath caught in your throat, the weight of his words hitting you in the best way possible. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he looked at you like you were his whole world. And in that moment, you realized just how much you meant to him.
"I’ve got a surprise for you," Joel added, his voice a little softer, and there was a glint of nervousness in his eyes—something you didn’t see from him often.
"A surprise?" you repeated, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "What kind of surprise?"
He took your hand, leading you away from the stove and into the living room. His grip was firm, yet there was a tenderness to the way he held you, like he was holding something precious.
Joel stopped in front of the couch, turning to face you. He reached into his back pocket and, for a moment, your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, he pulled out a small box, and as he held it in his hand, you realized exactly what was happening.
Your eyes widened, and you brought a hand to your mouth as Joel got down on one knee, looking up at you with that same earnest, loving expression.
"I know it’s been a year, and I know some people might think this is crazy," he began, his voice steady, though you could hear the emotion in it. "But I don’t care about any of that. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life." He opened the box, revealing a simple but beautiful ring. "You make me feel like I’m home, every day. So, I’m askin’… will you marry me?"
Your heart nearly stopped as you stood there, mouth agape, staring at Joel kneeling in front of you with that ring in his hand. The weight of the moment washed over you, and before you could think, your body moved on instinct. You dropped to your knees in front of him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Joel immediately responded, his strong arms coming around you, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. The words "Yes, yes," tumbled from your lips, breathless and full of emotion. Without even realizing it, you shifted, wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you securely.
His laugh was soft and filled with pure joy as he stood up, lifting you effortlessly with him. He held you tightly, your legs still wrapped around his waist as you clung to him. "You really mean that?" he asked, his voice a little shaky, but his eyes shone with happiness.
You nodded, burying your face in the crook of his neck, your voice catching as you whispered, "I’ve never been surer of anything in my life."
Joel’s arms tightened around you, his chest rumbling with laughter and relief all at once. "You’ve made me the happiest man alive," he said, his voice deep and full of love.
You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still. You smiled; your heart full to the brim. "I guess we both found home."
Joel pressed his forehead against yours, his voice barely above a whisper as he said, "I guess we did."
With your legs still wrapped around his waist, Joel gently lowered you to the ground, holding you steady as you found your footing. His eyes never left yours, full of warmth and something even deeper that made your heart swell. He reached for the ring, holding it up with a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Now," he said, his voice barely a whisper, filled with emotion, "let me do this the right way."
He carefully took your hand in his, and you watched in awe as he slid the ring onto your finger. It felt cool at first, but as it settled into place, it felt like it belonged there—like it had always been meant to be.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the ring, sparkling in the morning light. It was simple, yet beautiful—perfect, just like the moment.
Joel’s fingers brushed yours as he held your hand, pulling you close again. "Looks just right," he murmured, his voice low and full of affection. His thumb softly traced over the ring, and then over your knuckles, like he was making sure it was real, like this wasn’t just a dream.
You looked up at him, tears brimming in your eyes, but they were happy tears, filled with the overwhelming joy of knowing you had found your forever with this man. "It’s perfect," you whispered, squeezing his hand.
Joel smiled, pulling you into his arms again, his lips brushing the top of your head as he murmured, "You’re perfect."
For a long moment, the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other, savoring the silence and the weight of what had just happened. It was more than just a proposal—it was a promise, one that you both knew you would keep, no matter what life threw at you.
A month had passed since the day Joel put that ring on your finger, and it felt like you were living in a dream. Every moment with him was like writing your own love story—filled with warmth, laughter, and the kind of happiness you never thought you’d find. You and Joel had started to create a life together, and it felt like the world had finally aligned in the best way.
That night, as the moonlight spilled through the curtains, Joel was already in bed, the soft glow of a lamp casting a warm light on him as he flicked through a book. You were in the bathroom, hands trembling slightly as you looked down at the test in your hand. The two lines were unmistakable. Your heart raced, a mixture of excitement, nerves, and disbelief filling your chest.
"Joel?" you called out from the bathroom, your voice a little shaky.
"Yeah, darlin'?" His voice was calm, unaware of the life-altering news you were about to share.
"I… I have to show you something," you managed to say, your nerves bubbling into a quiet, breathy laugh.
There was a brief pause before you heard the rustle of sheets and Joel's footsteps making their way toward the bathroom. The door creaked open, and Joel appeared in the doorway, his brows furrowed in curiosity. "What is it?" he asked, his deep voice laced with concern as his eyes searched your face.
You turned toward him, holding the pregnancy test in your hand, your heart pounding. With a nervous laugh, you held it out for him to see. "I... I'm pregnant, Joel."
His eyes flicked down to the test, and for a moment, it seemed like time stood still. The realization hit him slowly, his expression shifting from confusion to disbelief, and then to something far deeper. His mouth opened slightly, his breath catching in his throat as he processed the news.
"You're... pregnant?" he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, biting your lip, unsure of how he’d react. "I know it's a lot. I didn’t even expect it, but—"
Before you could finish, Joel stepped forward, pulling you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. His face buried into the crook of your neck, and you felt the warmth of his breath against your skin as he whispered, "Are you serious?"
Tears welled up in your eyes, and you nodded against his shoulder. "Yeah. I’m serious."
Joel pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his hands cupping your face.
Joel lifted you effortlessly into his arms, his laughter mixing with yours as the weight of the news settled in—a shared joy that filled the room. His eyes sparkled with happiness, and the grin on his face was infectious. He held you close, your legs wrapped around his waist as he spun you in a small circle, both of you laughing like kids.
"I can’t believe it," Joel said, his voice filled with awe as he gently set you down on the bathroom counter, still holding you close. "We're gonna have a baby."
You nodded, the happiness bubbling up inside you, barely able to contain it. "We are," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "We're gonna be parents."
Joel kissed your forehead softly, his hands gently rubbing your sides. "I love you," he whispered, the words filled with a depth of emotion that made your heart swell. "You and this baby—we're gonna have the perfect story”
Tears slipped down your cheeks, but they were happy tears, and you smiled up at him. "I love you too," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "We’re going to be a family."
He held you there for a moment longer, savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment. Then, with a soft chuckle, Joel stepped back, still keeping a hand on your waist. "Guess we better start gettin’ used to this idea. A baby, huh?"
You nodded, your eyes shining with excitement. "A baby."
Joel smiled, still shaking his head in disbelief as he looked down at you. “A baby,” he repeated, his voice soft with awe. "I can’t believe it."
He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of becoming a father again. The joy in his eyes was unmistakable. After all the hardships, after all the loss, this was something he didn’t think he’d ever have again—a chance at building a family, a future.
“Guess we’re gonna have to start gettin' the place ready, huh?” Joel said, a playful tone creeping into his voice. "Crib, baby clothes… We’re in for a lot of changes."
You laughed, wiping away the last of your tears. "Yeah, we have a lot to prepare for."
Joel grinned, stepping back and taking your hand as he led you out of the bathroom. "But I’m ready for all of it," he said, squeezing your hand gently. "Every single part of it."
As the two of you stepped into the bedroom, the quiet warmth of the moment settled over you. Joel sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his lap. His hands rested on your stomach, fingers gently tracing over where your baby would grow.
"Just think," he murmured, his voice low and full of wonder. "In a few months, there’ll be a little one right here. A part of you and me."
The thought of it made your heart swell with love and anticipation. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. "I can’t wait, Joel," you whispered. "It’s going to be everything."
For a while, the two of you just sat there, holding each other in the quiet of the night, the future ahead of you bright and full of promise. It was a life neither of you had ever expected to find—but it was yours now, and you would cherish it, together.
Joel kissed the top of your head, his voice soft and full of love. "We’ve got a good thing goin’ here," he said. "And now, it’s just gonna get better."
You smiled, closing your eyes as you whispered back, "Yeah, it is."
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Time seemed to pass in a blur after that night. Every moment was a new memory, a new step toward the future you and Joel were building together. As the months went by, you prepared for the arrival of your baby while deepening the bond between you two. Joel was there for every ultrasound, every late-night craving, and every moment of excitement and nerves.
The day you both decided to get married wasn’t a grand occasion but something simple, just the way you both wanted it. You’d been sitting on the couch, going over baby names, when Joel looked at you with that soft, familiar smile and said, “Why don’t we get married before the little one arrives?”
At first, the idea seemed so casual, but the more you thought about it, the more perfect it felt. You didn’t need a big ceremony or an extravagant event. What you wanted was to make things official in the most meaningful way possible, with just the two of you and a handful of your closest friends and family.
The wedding day was intimate, held at a charming little venue not far from home. It was a crisp autumn day, the leaves turning shades of gold and crimson, and you couldn’t have asked for a more perfect setting. Your family and closest friends were there. As you walked toward him, your heart fluttered. Joel, standing tall and proud in his suit, his eyes filled with love and pride, made your breath catch in your throat. You couldn’t believe that this man, who had once been just a stranger, was now the center of your world.
When you reached him, Joel took your hands in his, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. His eyes locked onto yours, and in that moment, everything else faded away. It was just the two of you, standing together, ready to face whatever came next.
When you finally reached him, Joel took your hand, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. The look in his eyes was one of pure love and pride. He leaned in slightly and whispered, “You look beautiful, darlin’.”
The ceremony itself was short but filled with emotion. Joel’s voice wavered ever so slightly as he said his vows, and you could feel the weight of his words as he promised to love and support you forever.
“I never thought I’d be this lucky again,” he said softly, his eyes locked on yours. "You’ve given me more than I could’ve ever asked for."
Your heart swelled, and when it was your turn, you spoke from the heart. "I didn’t know life could be this good until I met you, Joel. You’ve changed everything for me."
The officiant declared you husband and wife, and Joel didn’t waste a second, pulling you in for a soft, meaningful kiss that felt like the beginning of a new chapter.
“By the power vested in me…” the officiant’s voice seemed to fade as you looked at Joel, your heart overflowing with love. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Joel’s smile widened as he gently cupped your face and pulled you into the sweetest, softest kiss. The world seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of you in that moment, forever bound to each other.
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After the small, intimate wedding, life felt like it had settled into a beautiful rhythm. Every morning you woke up next to Joel felt like a dream you never wanted to end, and as your belly grew, so did your love for the life you were building together.
It was a calm morning a few weeks after the wedding, the sunlight streaming through the windows of your cozy home. Joel had already gotten out of bed to make breakfast, and you could hear the sounds of him moving around the kitchen. You smiled to yourself, feeling content and full of love.
You got up slowly, your hand instinctively resting on your growing bump. The baby had started kicking more frequently, and every little movement filled you with awe. You made your way to the kitchen, and there he was, standing at the stove, making scrambled eggs like he did every Sunday morning.
Joel looked over his shoulder when he heard you approach, his face breaking into a soft, adoring smile. "Mornin’, sweetheart. How’re you feelin’?"
“Good,” you said, wrapping your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek against his back. “Hungry, as always.”
He chuckled, placing a hand over yours. “That’s a good sign. I’ve got breakfast ready in just a few minutes.”
You sat down at the kitchen table, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face as Joel brought over plates of eggs, toast, and some fruit. As you both started eating, Joel couldn’t take his eyes off you, his expression full of love and admiration.
"You know," Joel started, his voice soft and thoughtful, "Every time I see you, like this, carryin' our baby… it just hits me how lucky I am."
You smiled, your heart swelling at his words. "I feel the same way, Joel. I can’t believe how much life has changed for the better. I never thought I’d get to be this happy."
Joel reached across the table, taking your hand in his. His thumb gently caressed the back of your hand as he gazed at you with that familiar warmth in his eyes. "We’ve been through a lot, but every bit of it led us here. And I wouldn’t change a thing."
After breakfast, the two of you spent the day together, enjoying the simple moments that made your life so full. Joel had taken time off from work to be around more as the baby’s due date got closer, and it felt like every day was another beautiful chapter in your love story.
As the evening drew near, you sat together on the couch, Joel’s hand resting protectively on your belly as the baby kicked softly. He looked at you, his eyes filled with a sense of peace and joy. "You’re gonna be such a great mom."
You smiled, leaning into him. "And you’re going to be the best dad."
Joel pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand never leaving your bump. The two of you sat there in the quiet, simply enjoying each other’s presence, the future stretching out before you, full of hope and love.
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Months had passed, and the day finally arrived. You were in the hospital room, your hand gripping Joel’s tightly as you went through the final stages of labor. The pain was intense, but Joel was right there by your side, whispering encouragement in your ear, his voice calm and steady despite the chaos around you.
"You’re doin’ so good, sweetheart," Joel murmured, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. His hand was firm in yours, grounding you as the contractions intensified. "Almost there. Just a little longer."
With one final push, the room filled with the first cry of your baby. Relief, exhaustion, and overwhelming joy washed over you as you collapsed back against the pillow. The doctor carefully placed the newborn in your arms, and when you looked down at her tiny face, everything else in the world faded away.
Joel stood beside you, his eyes wide with awe as he looked down at your daughter. "She’s here," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. His hand hovered above her small head before he gently stroked her soft hair. "She’s perfect."
You smiled up at him, tears filling your eyes as you whispered, "Sarah."
Joel’s breath hitched, his gaze softening even more as he took in the name. "Sarah," he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before brushing his lips over your daughter’s tiny head. "Welcome to the world, baby girl."
Sarah’s little fingers curled around your thumb as she lay in your arms, her cries quieting as she settled into the warmth of your body. The love that filled the room was almost overwhelming, and you couldn’t stop the tears that flowed down your cheeks.
Joel sat down beside you, his arm slipping around your shoulders as the two of you gazed at your daughter in awe. "She’s gonna have your strength," Joel said softly, his voice filled with pride. "I can already see it."
"And she’ll have your heart," you whispered, leaning into him. "She’s a little piece of both of us."
For hours, you sat together in the quiet of the hospital room, marveling at the tiny miracle in your arms. Sarah yawned, her tiny eyes fluttering open for the first time, and Joel’s face lit up with a joy you’d never seen before.
"You’re gonna be a great dad," you whispered, resting your head against his shoulder.
Joel smiled, his eyes never leaving Sarah’s face. "And you’re gonna be the best mom," he replied, his voice soft but full of certainty.
In that moment, everything felt complete. The life you had built with Joel had come full circle, and now, holding Sarah, it felt like the perfect beginning to something even more beautiful. The three of you were a family, and nothing could ever take that away.
As you both sat there, watching your newborn daughter sleep peacefully in your arms, Joel leaned down and kissed you softly. "Thank you," he whispered. "For all of this. For her."
You smiled, tears filling your eyes once again. "We did this together."
And as the night settled in, the three of you together, you knew that this, this was everything you had ever dreamed of. A love that had grown into something extraordinary, a family you never thought possible, and a future that was full of hope and endless possibilities.
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Time had passed, and life settled into a beautiful, busy rhythm. You found yourself balancing the challenges of raising Sarah while managing your work. Your coffee shop was thriving, and although it wasn’t always easy, the love and support Joel gave you made everything seem possible. Every morning, you’d drop Sarah off with her babysitter before opening the shop, your heart swelling as you kissed her little cheeks goodbye.
Joel and Tommy had built up their construction company together, working side by side like they always had. It was their dream, and they took pride in what they had created. Most evenings, they would come home late, tired but fulfilled, dust and sweat still clinging to their clothes, but there was always a smile on Joel's face as soon as he stepped through the door and saw you and Sarah.
It was a happy life, a busy one. Sarah was growing fast, and every day brought something new—a first laugh, her first wobbly steps, her fascination with the world around her. Joel had fallen completely in love with being a dad, always the first one to scoop Sarah up when he got home, carrying her around on his shoulders as she giggled.
One evening, after a long day of work, you were at home, feeding Sarah in her high chair while Joel and Tommy sat at the kitchen table, talking shop over dinner. You couldn’t help but smile as you listened to them go on about their latest project—something about expanding a new office building downtown. It warmed your heart to see Joel so happy in his work, and even more so knowing that you were all building this life together.
Joel caught your eye from across the table, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He stood up, coming over to where you were standing with Sarah. Gently, he wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” he whispered, his voice filled with admiration as he watched you interact with Sarah.
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. “We’re doing this together,” you said softly, mirroring the words you’d told him in the hospital that day Sarah was born.
Tommy chuckled from the table. “Look at you two, bein’ all sappy. I’d say I’m jealous, but I’m just happy y’all found this.”
Joel laughed and shook his head, glancing down at Sarah, who was reaching out for him. “We’re lucky,” he said, picking her up and holding her close. “Wouldn’t change a damn thing.”
As you watched Joel with your daughter, your heart swelled with a deep, contented happiness. The busy days, the challenges, and the long nights—it was all worth it. You had a family, a home filled with love, and a future that was built on the strength of the bond you shared. Every piece of your life had fallen into place, and there was nothing more you could ask for.
Later that night, after Tommy had left and Sarah was fast asleep in her crib, you and Joel sat together on the couch, the soft glow of the living room lamp casting a warm light over the room. Joel had his arm draped over your shoulders, and you were curled into his side, a blanket wrapped around the both of you. The house was quiet, a peaceful kind of stillness that only came after a busy day with Sarah.
You sighed contentedly, resting your head on Joel's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It had been a long day, but these quiet moments together always made it feel like everything was exactly where it should be.
Joel pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his hand gently rubbing your arm. “Been thinkin’ a lot about our future,” he murmured, his voice low and thoughtful.
You looked up at him, curious. “Yeah? What about it?”
He smiled softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that familiar way that always made your heart flutter. “I mean… look at us,” he said, glancing down at you and then toward the hallway where Sarah slept. “We’ve got a beautiful baby girl, a home… but I wanna make sure I’m givin’ y’all the life you deserve.”
You reached up, cupping his cheek and turning his face toward you. “Joel, you’re already doing that,” you said earnestly. “We have everything we need. We have each other.”
He leaned into your touch, his eyes softening. “I know, darlin’. But I’ve been thinkin’ about what’s next for us. I want to keep buildin’—for us, for Sarah. Maybe someday, we could get a bigger place… one with a backyard where Sarah can run around. And who knows, maybe she won’t be the only little one runnin’ around.”
You blinked in surprise, your heart skipping a beat at the thought. “Are you saying you want more kids?”
Joel chuckled softly, his hand finding yours and lacing his fingers with yours. “I’d be lyin’ if I said the thought hasn’t crossed my mind,” he admitted. “But only if you want it too. I just… I love this, our family. I love seein’ Sarah grow and thinkin’ about what’s ahead for all of us.”
You smiled, the thought of expanding your family filling you with warmth. “I love it too,” you said softly. “And I love the idea of giving Sarah a sibling someday. But… no rush, okay?”
He nodded, his gaze full of understanding. “No rush,” he repeated. “I just want us to be happy, however that looks.”
You nestled closer to him, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment. “We already are, Joel,” you whispered. “But I love that we can dream about our future together. Whatever comes next, we’ll figure it out, just like we always do.”
Joel smiled, pulling you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Damn right we will,” he murmured against your mouth, his voice full of promise.
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Life was passing, and you were living it. Every day you woke up feeling the most content person alive, waking up to a wonderful husband and to a beautiful daughter you both had created was the best prize you could have won.
So the time passed, and Sarah’s third birthday arrived. a day filled with laughter, cake, and the joyful chaos of a toddler’s party. The backyard had been transformed into a wonderland of balloons, streamers, and a small play area for the kids, all running around with boundless energy. Joel and Tommy were manning the grill, flipping burgers and laughing as they joked about who had the better cooking skills. You were sitting on the porch, watching Sarah play with her friends, her smile wide as she tore into the wrapping of her presents.
The sight of her beaming with happiness filled you with warmth, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. It had started earlier in the day, a subtle dizziness that washed over you while you were setting up for the party. At first, you brushed it off, assuming it was just the exhaustion of planning and preparing for the celebration. But as the day went on, the feeling persisted, a faint buzzing in your head that wouldn’t go away.
You stood up from your seat, intending to join Joel and Tommy at the grill, when the dizziness hit you again—stronger this time. Your vision blurred, and your legs wobbled beneath you. You reached out, gripping the railing of the porch to steady yourself, but it felt like the ground was shifting beneath your feet.
“Hey, you alright?” Joel’s voice cut through the haze, his hand suddenly on your shoulder, steadying you.
You blinked a few times, trying to shake the feeling. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, offering him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Just… a little dizzy. Probably just need to sit down.”
Joel’s brow furrowed with concern, his hand gently guiding you back to the porch swing. “You’ve been actin’ off all day,” he said, kneeling in front of you. “Maybe you should take a break from all this. Let me handle things for a bit.”
“I’ll be okay,” you insisted, though the pounding in your head was starting to grow. You didn’t want to worry him, especially on a day like this, but the unease settling in your chest was hard to ignore.
Just then, Sarah came running over, her tiny hands grabbing onto Joel’s leg as she tugged at his jeans. “Daddy! Come see my new toy!” she squealed, her face lit up with excitement.
Joel gave you a quick look, clearly torn, but you waved him off. “Go, Joel. I’m fine. I’ll just rest for a bit.”
He hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours, before he nodded. “Alright. But promise me you’ll tell me if you feel worse.”
You nodded, watching as he stood up and scooped Sarah into his arms, spinning her around as she giggled in delight. You leaned back into the swing, closing your eyes for a moment, hoping that maybe it was just the stress of the day catching up to you. But deep down, you knew something wasn’t right.
The dizziness wasn’t going away. It was getting worse.
A few hours later, after the party had wound down and the guests had left, you were helping Joel clean up when the room suddenly tilted, and your vision blurred again. This time, the dizziness was so overwhelming that you couldn’t stop it. The world spun around you, and before you could call out to Joel, everything went dark.
When you opened your eyes again, you were lying on the couch, Joel’s worried face hovering above you. His hand was gripping yours tightly, and there was fear in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before.
“Hey, hey,” he said softly, his voice shaky. “Stay with me. I’m gonna take you to the doctor, alright? You passed out.”
You tried to sit up, but your head throbbed, and Joel gently pushed you back down. “No arguments,” he said firmly. “Somethin’s not right, and we’re gettin’ it checked out.”
You nodded weakly, the fear creeping in as the gravity of the situation began to settle. You hadn’t felt like yourself in days, and now it was clear that it wasn’t just exhaustion. Something was wrong, and as much as you wanted to stay strong for Joel and Sarah, the worry was starting to gnaw at you.
Joel pressed a kiss to your forehead, his voice steady despite the fear in his eyes.
So the next morning, you decided to go to the doctor alone. You assured Joel over breakfast that everything would be fine, putting on your bravest smile as you sipped your coffee. "It’s probably just stress or maybe… maybe even another pregnancy," you joked, trying to keep things light.
Joel wasn’t entirely convinced. His eyes followed your every movement, lingering with concern, but you pressed a kiss to his cheek and promised you’d text him as soon as you knew something. "You’ve got Sarah to watch today. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine."
As you sat in the doctor’s office later that day, waiting for your results, you kept replaying those words in your head
I’ll be fine. You wanted to believe it. You needed to believe it.
The doctor finally entered the room, a somber expression on his face. You sat up a little straighter, a nervous laugh bubbling up as you tried to break the tension. "So… what’s the verdict? Am I pregnant, or do I just need to get more sleep?"
He didn’t smile. That was your first clue.
"We ran some tests based on your symptoms," he began slowly, carefully. "And… I’m sorry to tell you this, but it’s not what we hoped."
Your heart plummeted, the air in the room suddenly thick and suffocating. "What do you mean?" you asked, your voice trembling despite your best effort to stay calm.
The doctor took a deep breath, his gaze steady but filled with sympathy. "The dizziness, the fatigue… it's not stress or pregnancy. The tests show signs of a rare, aggressive illness. I’m afraid it’s terminal."
For a moment, you couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. It felt like the words were echoing in a tunnel, distant and surreal. "Terminal?" The word barely escaped your lips.
He nodded gently. "I’m very sorry. It’s advanced, and from what we’ve seen, it’s progressed faster than we anticipated. There are treatments to manage symptoms, but… it’s not curable."
Your world shattered in that instant. Everything around you seemed to blur and slow, the weight of the news crashing down like a tidal wave. The future you had imagined, raising Sarah, growing old with Joel, suddenly felt like a distant dream, slipping away before you could grasp it.
You sat there in stunned silence, your mind reeling. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away, trying to keep some semblance of control. You didn’t want to break down, not yet.
"What… what’s the timeline?" you finally managed to ask, your voice barely a whisper.
"It’s hard to say," the doctor replied gently. "Months, maybe a year. We’ll need to monitor closely and discuss the best options moving forward."
The rest of the appointment passed in a haze. You nodded at the right moments, accepted the information he gave you about treatment options, but none of it seemed to stick. The only thing you could think about was how you were going to tell Joel. How you were going to explain to him that your time together was now limited.
As you walked out of the office, the afternoon sun seemed too bright, too cheerful for what you had just learned. You felt numb, as though you were moving through a dream, detached from the reality that had just been placed in front of you.
You sat in your car for a long time, staring at your phone, trying to figure out how to text Joel. You had promised him everything would be fine. You had been so sure of it.
But now, you had to go home and face the hardest conversation of your life.
How were you going to tell the man you loved, the father of your child, that you were dying?
With trembling hands, you finally typed a message
On my way home:)
++++++++
You pulled up to the house, gripping the steering wheel as if it could somehow anchor you to reality.
A year.
You had a year to watch your daughter grow, to be with Joel. It felt so impossibly short, like sand slipping through your fingers. Every moment from now on was precious, but how were you supposed to tell him?
Taking a deep breath, you got out of the car and made your way to the front door. The smell of lunch wafted through the air as you stepped inside, your mind momentarily distracted by the warmth and familiarity of home. Laughter echoed from the kitchen, and your heart ached knowing how much this place had become your safe haven, filled with the people you loved most.
"Mommy!" Sarah’s excited voice snapped you back to reality as she came running towards you, her little arms outstretched.
You bent down, forcing a smile as you scooped her into your arms, hugging her tight, burying your face in her hair. "Hey, baby girl," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion as you held her a little longer than usual.
As you straightened up, you felt Joel’s eyes on you instantly. He was standing in the kitchen with Tommy and his new girlfriend, Maria, preparing lunch. His gaze locked onto yours, concern immediately flashing across his face. He knew something was wrong.
"We’ll talk later," Joel mouthed quietly, giving you a look that said he wasn’t going to let it go. He always had a way of reading you, knowing when something wasn’t right.
You nodded, your heart sinking further as Sarah wiggled out of your arms and ran back to play. Tommy greeted you with a grin, oblivious to the weight of the news you carried.
"Hey there!" Tommy said, tossing a dish towel over his shoulder. "You’re just in time for lunch. Maria made her famous chili. You’re gonna love it."
You forced another smile, but it felt hollow. "Sounds great, Tommy," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.
Maria looked up from the stove, giving you a warm smile as well. "It’s good to see you. Hope you’re hungry."
But your appetite was the last thing on your mind. You felt like you were moving on autopilot, helping set the table, making small talk, but your thoughts kept circling back to the doctor’s words. Every glance Joel shot your way reminded you of the conversation you still had to have.
Lunch passed in a blur, the clatter of plates and the hum of conversation surrounding you as you tried to stay present. But every time you looked at Joel or Sarah, your heart clenched tighter. How could you tell them? How could you face what was coming?
After lunch, Tommy and Maria offered to clean up, and you were grateful for the momentary reprieve. Joel came up behind you, gently placing a hand on your back. "Come with me," he said softly, leading you into the living room.
As soon as the door closed behind you, Joel turned to face you, his expression filled with worry. "What’s going on?" he asked, his voice steady but laced with fear. "You’ve been off since you got home."
You looked into his eyes, the man you loved more than anything, and you felt the tears welling up. This was it. There was no avoiding it now.
"Joel…" Your voice cracked, and you took a deep breath, trying to find the strength to say the words. "It wasn’t another pregnancy."
Joel’s brow furrowed as he stepped closer, his hand moving to cup your cheek. "Then what is it? What did they say?"
Tears finally spilled over as you choked out the words you’d been dreading. "I’m sick, Joel. It’s bad. The doctor… the doctor said I have a year. Maybe less."
For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Joel’s hand dropped from your face, his eyes widening in disbelief. "What?" he whispered, like he couldn’t quite process what you’d just said.
You nodded, tears streaming down your face. "I’m dying, Joel. There’s nothing they can do. It’s a terminal illness, and… and I only have a year."
The room was silent, the weight of your words hanging in the air. Joel just stared at you, his face pale, as if the ground had been ripped out from under him. "No… no, there has to be something… some kind of treatment." His voice cracked, panic seeping in.
You shook your head, your own heart breaking as you watched the man you loved fall apart in front of you. "There’s nothing, Joel. They can manage the symptoms, but… it’s only a matter of time."
Joel let out a ragged breath, his eyes filling with tears as he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly, like if he could just hold on, it would somehow change everything. "No, no… not you. Not now."
You clung to him, sobbing into his chest, feeling the devastation in every fiber of his being as he held you. "I’m so sorry," you whispered. "I’m so, so sorry."
Joel pulled back, cupping your face in his hands as tears streaked down his own cheeks. "We’ll fight this, okay? We’ll fight this with everything we’ve got. We’ll make the most of every damn second." His voice was thick with emotion, his determination cutting through the pain.
Joel's resolve was fierce and unwavering, a beacon of strength amidst the overwhelming sorrow. His hands gently but firmly cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that continued to fall. "We’ll fight this," he repeated, his voice steadier now, a promise amidst the anguish. "I know it's not fair, but we can't give up. We have to make every moment count."
You nodded, trying to draw strength from his determination, though the weight of the reality still felt crushing. "I just want to make sure Sarah has the best memories of us," you said softly, your voice trembling. "I want her to know how much she's loved, even if I'm not there."
Joel's eyes softened, and he nodded in understanding. "She will know, darlin'. We'll make sure of it. We'll do everything we can to give her the best of us, to show her how much she means to us."
The raw emotion in his voice was palpable, and you could see the resolve in his eyes. He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, his touch as gentle as ever.
“I won’t lose you” he whispered, to himself mostly.
+++++++++++
The house was quiet, the gentle hum of the night providing a somber backdrop to your restless thoughts. Despite the late hour, you found yourself unable to sleep, your mind racing with the weight of what you’d just shared with Joel. The sadness and anxiety seemed to follow you as you moved through the house, a heavy blanket of worry that pressed down on you.
Driven by an instinctive need to be close to your daughter, you quietly made your way to Sarah’s room. The hallway was dimly lit, the soft glow of a nightlight casting a warm, reassuring light. You carefully opened the door, trying not to disturb the peacefulness within.
Sarah’s room was filled with the soft, comforting clutter of childhood—a colorful mobile spinning slowly above her crib, stuffed animals scattered around, and drawings she’d made hanging on the walls. You stepped inside, your heart aching at the sight of your little girl sleeping so innocently.
She was nestled under her covers, her tiny chest rising and falling with each gentle breath. The moonlight streamed through the window, casting a serene glow on her peaceful face. You approached the crib quietly, your footsteps muffled on the soft carpet.
You stood there for a moment, just watching her sleep, the tears that had previously flowed now subsiding into a quiet sadness. Seeing her so calm and content was both comforting and heartbreaking. You reached out a hand, gently brushing a lock of hair from her face, your touch tender and full of love.
As you gazed at her, the reality of your situation seemed to crystallize in a new way. This precious child, so full of life and promise, was the center of your world. The thought of not being there to watch her grow up was almost too much to bear.
You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady yourself. "I love you so much, Sarah," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I’m going to make sure you know that, every single day."
The soft rustle of the door alerted you to Joel’s presence. He had followed you quietly, sensing your distress. He stepped into the room, his eyes softening as he saw you standing by Sarah’s crib. Without a word, he came to stand beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders in a comforting embrace.
"She’s beautiful," Joel murmured, his voice gentle, filled sadness.  
You nodded, leaning into him, the warmth of his presence a small but significant comfort. "I just… I want to make sure she’s okay. I want to make sure she remembers how much I love her.”
Joel’s breath hitched as he listened to your words, the weight of your statement crashing over him like a tidal wave. He stood silently for a moment, his arm still around you, but his grip tightening as he tried to hold himself together. The reality of the situation—the harsh truth of your illness and the limited time you had left—was almost too much for him to bear.
As your words sank in, Joel's composure began to crack. The tears that had been pooling in his eyes finally spilled over, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. He buried his face into your shoulder, his body trembling as he let the pain and grief flow freely.
"I can't… I can't believe this," Joel choked out, his voice breaking. "You’re not supposed to go… not now. Not when we’ve finally got everything we ever wanted."
You turned to him, your own tears mixing with his as you gently cupped his face in your hands. "Joel, I wish there was something I could do to change this," you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. "But right now, all we can do is make the most of the time we have left. I need you to be strong, for Sarah, for us."
Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of anguish and determination. "I don’t know how to be strong without you. You’re everything to me."
You wiped away his tears with your thumb, trying to offer some solace. "You have to. For Sarah. She needs you just as much as I do. We both do."
Joel nodded slowly, his sobs subsiding into a series of ragged breaths. He pulled you closer, holding you tightly as if he could somehow shield you from the inevitable. "I’ll do it," he promised, his voice hoarse. "I’ll be strong.”
You rested your forehead against his, your hearts beating in sync as you shared this painful but precious moment together. Every second between you both counted.
“Let me be with you through this. Let me go with you to the doctor and take care of you” he pleaded.
+++++++++++
You felt the warmth of Joel’s breath against your forehead, the intensity of his love and fear palpable in every touch. His words were both a comfort and a heartbreaking reminder of the reality you were facing.
"Joel," you whispered, your voice trembling, "I need you to be with me through this, too. I can’t do it alone. But I want to be strong for you and Sarah, and I want you to be strong for us."
Joel nodded, his eyes filled with a mix of sadness and determination. "I’ll be here. Every step of the way. I promise."
He gently pulled you back from the crib, guiding you to sit on the edge of Sarah's bed. He sat beside you, taking your hand in his and holding it tightly. The simple gesture of his hand enveloping yours was a small but powerful symbol of his unwavering support.
"We’ll face this together," he said, his voice steadying as he spoke. "We’ll go to every appointment, handle every treatment, and make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be. We’ll make every day count."
You squeezed his hand, a faint smile touching your lips despite the tears streaming down your face. "Thank you, Joel. It means the world to me."
He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I love you," he murmured. "And I’ll do everything I can to make sure you know that, every single day."
You both sat there for a while, the quiet of the night punctuated only by the soft, rhythmic breathing of your sleeping daughter. In that intimate space, amidst the uncertainty and fear, you found a sliver of peace. Together, you faced the daunting road ahead with love and resilience, clinging to each other and to the hope of making the most of every precious moment you had left.
Eventually, Joel helped you up, and you both quietly left Sarah’s room, closing the door softly behind you. As you walked back to your own bedroom, you felt Joel’s steady presence beside you, and though the future was uncertain, you knew that, with him by your side, you would face whatever came with the strength and love that had always defined your life together.
++++++++
Time seemed to slip through your fingers, each day marked by the weight of your diagnosis and the ever-present pain of knowing how limited your time was. Every sunset felt like a reminder of the time slipping away—one day less to share with Joel, one day less to hold Sarah. The urgency of every moment grew more intense, and you clung to each precious second.
You and Joel had a scheduled visit to the doctor, and the tension in the air was palpable. The doctor explained a treatment plan that could help manage your symptoms and ease your pain, but the prospect of spending even more time in a hospital filled you with dread.
As you sat in the sterile, white room, Joel's eyes were fixed on the doctor, but he kept glancing at you, searching for some sign of agreement or understanding. The doctor’s voice was calm and professional, but Joel’s anxiety was palpable as he tried to take in every detail.
"You should start this treatment as soon as possible," the doctor said. "It will help manage the pain and improve your quality of life."
You shook your head, your chest tightening. "I don’t want to be in and out of hospitals. I want to be with Joel and Sarah. I want to spend whatever time I have left with them, not stuck in a hospital room."
Joel’s face reddened with frustration and concern. "But this could make things easier for you. You don’t have to suffer through the pain if you take this treatment!"
"I don’t want to spend my days in a hospital!" you argued back, your voice rising. "I want to be with my family, not lying in a bed surrounded by machines and IV drips. Every day I spend there is a day I lose with you.”
The argument grew heated, both of you caught in the clash between your desire to make the most of your time and Joel's desperation to find any way to alleviate your suffering.
Joel’s face was a mixture of anger and helplessness as he tried to make you understand. "I’m just trying to help you! I want you to be as comfortable as possible. I can’t bear the thought of you in pain."
You took a deep breath, your emotions raw. "I know you’re trying to help, Joel. But I need to live, not just survive. I want to hold Sarah, kiss you goodnight, and make memories with you. I don’t want my last days to be filled with hospital rooms and treatments. I want to be where I can be with you both, as much as possible."
The room fell silent, the gravity of your words sinking in. Joel’s shoulders slumped, and he looked away, his hands gripping the edge of the chair tightly. The fight had left him, replaced by a deep, painful realization of the limited time you both had.
Finally, Joel reached out, taking your hand in his with a gentleness that belied the struggle he was feeling. "Alright," he said quietly, his voice weary and tired.
“I don’t want you both to forget me” you said, “I need to know I was important.”
Joel’s grip on your hand tightened, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He looked at you with a mixture of sadness and determination, his voice cracking as he spoke. “You’ll never be forgotten. You are the most important person in our lives. Sarah will know all about how much you loved her, and I’ll make sure she knows how much you meant to me, too.”
You nodded, your heart aching at the depth of his words. “I just need to be sure that I’m leaving something behind—something that tells you both how much I love you.”
Joel wiped a tear from his cheek, his face softening with a pained smile. “You’ve already left us with so much. Your love, your laughter, your strength… it’s all a part of who we are. And it will be with us, always.”
You squeezed his hand, finding some comfort in his words, even as your heart ached with the reality of your situation. “I want to make sure we make every day count. I want Sarah to have the best memories of us together, of our family.”
Joel nodded; his expression resolute. “We will. Every day will be filled with love and laughter, and we’ll make sure Sarah knows how much you meant to her. We’ll make the most of this time, I promise.”
++++++++
The days that followed were a whirlwind of bittersweet moments, as you and Joel made the most of every precious second together. Despite the heaviness that lingered over your days, there was a sense of determination to fill them with love and joy for both yourself and Sarah.
Every morning, you and Joel would wake up early, watching Sarah’s tiny face light up with a smile as you all shared breakfast together. The simple pleasures of family life became even more cherished. You would spend afternoons at the park, where Sarah’s laughter rang out as she chased butterflies and played on the swings, with Joel pushing her higher and higher.
One of the things you enjoyed most was having movie nights. The three of you would snuggle on the couch, watching animated films and eating popcorn, with Joel often making silly faces to make Sarah giggle. You cherished these moments of simple happiness, knowing they would be treasured memories for your little girl.
Joel also made sure to capture these memories. He took countless photos of you with Sarah, documenting every milestone and every cherished moment. There were days filled with arts and crafts, with Sarah’s tiny hands covered in paint as she created colorful drawings that you proudly displayed around the house.
In the evenings, when Sarah was asleep, you and Joel would sit together, talking about the future and reminiscing about your past. There were tears, but also laughter, as you shared stories and dreams. Joel’s presence was a constant source of comfort and strength, and you found solace in the way he held you close, even as you both faced the reality of the time you had left.
On weekends, you would go on family outings—visiting the zoo, going on picnics, and taking long walks in nature. Joel made sure these outings were filled with joy and wonder for Sarah, creating a world where she felt loved and cherished.
As the months passed, there were moments of quiet reflection. Joel would often hold you close while watching Sarah sleep, whispering reassurances and promises to you. Even in the midst of your struggle, you found strength in the love and support of your family.
And when the time came to say goodbye, it was with the knowledge that you had filled your days with love, laughter, and unforgettable memories. You left behind a legacy of warmth and affection that would continue to live on in the hearts of those you loved most.
++++++++++
the moments you shared with Joel became even more precious. Despite the looming shadow of your illness, you both found solace in each other's arms, drawing strength from the love that had always been a cornerstone of your relationship.
In the evenings, after Sarah had gone to bed, Joel would take your hand and lead you to the quiet sanctuary of your bedroom. There, you would spend time talking, reminiscing, and dreaming of a future that, though limited, was filled with love. You’d sit together on the edge of the bed, holding each other close, sharing whispers of gratitude and affection. The conversations often revolved around how much you meant to each other, the deep love you had for one another, and the life you had built together.
“I’m so grateful for every moment we’ve had,” Joel would say, his voice soft and filled with emotion. “You’ve made my life so much richer, so much more meaningful. I don’t know how I’ll manage without you, but I know I’ll carry you with me every single day.”
You’d look into his eyes, feeling a profound sense of connection and love. “You’ve been my rock, Joel. Through everything, you’ve been there for me. I’ve loved every second of our life together, and I’m so glad I got to share this time with you.”
Joel would gently brush your hair back from your face, his touch tender and loving. “I’m going to make sure Sarah knows just how much you loved her. I’ll keep your memory alive in everything we do. She’s going to grow up knowing how special you were.”
You’d smile through your tears, finding comfort in his words. “And I’ll be with you both in every step you take, every laugh, every tear. I’ll be in the memories we’ve made, in the love that we shared.”
On weekends, you and Joel would find small adventures to embark on, just the two of you. Whether it was taking a scenic drive to your favorite spots, having a quiet dinner at a restaurant you both loved, or simply sitting together in the backyard under the stars, you made sure these moments were filled with love and laughter.
One night, after a particularly special dinner where you reminisced about your favorite moments together, Joel held you close and whispered, “I love you more than words can say. I want you to know that you are everything to me. I can’t imagine my life without you, but I’m so grateful for the time we’ve had.”
You snuggled closer, feeling the warmth of his love. “I love you too, Joel. Every day with you has been a gift, and I’m so glad I got to share this journey with you. You’ve made my life so full.”
++++++++++
One evening, you and Joel had invited Tommy and Maria over for dinner. It was a comforting routine that allowed you to share joyful moments with family, despite the shadow that loomed over your days. The table was set with your favorite dishes, laughter and conversation flowing freely as you all enjoyed the meal together.
Sarah was in her high chair, delighting in the company and the food, her giggles adding a touch of lightness to the atmosphere. Joel was by your side, occasionally glancing at you with a mixture of love and concern. Tommy and Maria chatted animatedly, their warmth creating a cocoon of familiarity and comfort.
But as the evening wore on, you began to feel a growing unease. A wave of dizziness washed over you, and you tried to brush it off, attributing it to the long day and the stress you had been under. However, the feeling didn’t subside. Instead, it intensified, leaving you feeling weak and disoriented.
Joel noticed your discomfort immediately. His face tightened with concern as he reached out to steady you. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice tinged with worry.
You forced a smile, but the effort was clearly draining. “I’m just feeling a bit off. I think I need to sit down for a minute.”
Tommy and Maria’s conversation faltered as they noticed the change in the mood. Tommy’s eyes met Joel’s, and the unease was palpable. “Maybe you should go to the hospital,” Tommy suggested gently, his voice carrying a note of urgency.
Joel’s expression shifted to one of determination. He stood up, helping you to your feet with a steadying arm. “We need to get you checked out,” he said firmly, his worry evident.
Maria quickly gathered your things, while Joel helped you into the car. Sarah, sensing the tension, looked up with curious eyes as Tommy comforted her, assuring her everything would be alright.
The drive to the hospital was a blur of anxious thoughts and unspoken fears. Joel’s hand remained tightly clasped around yours, offering both support and strength. The hospital’s bright lights and bustling atmosphere seemed almost surreal as you arrived, your strength waning with each step.
Joel rushed you through the emergency room, the urgency of the situation clear in his eyes. The doctors and nurses quickly took over, guiding you through a series of tests and assessments. Joel remained by your side, his presence a constant source of comfort amid the chaos.
As the minutes ticked by, you could see the worry etched deeply on Joel’s face. He paced back and forth, occasionally glancing at the clock as if willing time to slow down. The tension in the room was palpable, with Tommy and Maria waiting in the hallway, their faces etched with concern.
Finally, the doctor emerged, and Joel’s heart sank as he saw the somber expression on the doctor’s face. He immediately went to the doctor, his voice trembling as he asked for information. The doctor’s words were gentle but clear: your condition had worsened, and it was only a matter of time.
Joel’s world seemed to tilt, and he struggled to hold back his tears as he returned to your side. He sat beside you, his hand gripping yours tightly. “I’m here with you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m not leaving.”
You looked into his eyes, feeling a profound sense of gratitude and love despite the pain you were experiencing. “Thank you for being here with me”
As you lay in the hospital bed, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of the overhead lights, you found solace in Joel’s presence beside you. His hand was still gripping yours, the warmth and strength of his touch providing a small measure of comfort amidst the uncertainty.
Joel looked at you, his eyes brimming with tears, a bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. "You know," he began, his voice trembling slightly, "I keep thinking about how we first met."
You managed a faint smile, despite the heaviness in your chest. "At this very hospital," you said softly. "It feels like a lifetime ago."
Joel nodded, a chuckle escaping his lips, though it was tinged with sadness. "Yeah, I remember that day.
You squeezed his hand gently. "And now, here we are again. It's almost poetic, in a way."
Joel’s eyes filled with tears once more as he looked at you, the weight of the moment crashing down on him. "It’s just… so damn unfair. We had so much more to experience together, so many more memories to make. I thought we’d have years, not just a few precious months."
The tears fell freely now, streaming down Joel’s face as he struggled to contain his grief. He bowed his head, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "I don’t know how to say goodbye. I don’t know how to live in a world without you."
You reached out, cupping his face in your hands. "You don’t have to say goodbye yet," you whispered, your own voice breaking. "We still have these moments, these precious days together. And even after I’m gone, you’ll carry my love with you. I’ll be in your heart, in Sarah’s laughter, and in every little thing we’ve shared."
Joel nodded, trying to steady his breath as he wiped away his tears. "I’ll hold on to that. I’ll remember every moment we had, every laugh, every kiss. I’ll make sure Sarah knows how much you loved her, and I’ll keep your memory alive in everything we do."
You gazed into his eyes, finding strength in his resolve. "And I’ll be with you both, always. In the memories we’ve made and the love we’ve shared."
Joel leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours, his tears mingling with yours. "I love you so much," he murmured. "More than words can ever express."
"I love you too," you whispered back. "Forever and always."
The night wore on, the hospital room growing quieter with each passing hour. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor became a solemn reminder of the fleeting time left. Your breaths were growing shallower, each one a struggle as the weight of your condition became increasingly apparent.
Joel stayed by your side, his hand still holding yours with a steady grip. His eyes, red from crying, remained fixed on you, his face a mask of heartache and determination. He knew this was the final chapter of your journey, and he was determined to be with you every step of the way.
With a tender and measured touch, Joel reached for Sarah, who had been resting in the care of Tommy and Maria. He gently carried her into the room, her small body nestled against his chest. The sight of her, innocent and unaware of the gravity of the situation, brought a new wave of tears to your eyes.
Joel carefully placed Sarah in your arms, her soft, warm weight providing a bittersweet comfort. You looked down at her cherubic face, feeling a surge of love and sorrow. Your heart ached knowing that you wouldn’t be there to watch her grow up, but you were determined to leave her with a sense of your love.
“Hey, my sweet girl,” you whispered, your voice weak but filled with affection. Sarah looked up at you with curious eyes, her tiny fingers grasping yours. “Mommy loves you so much.”
Joel sat beside you, his hand resting on Sarah’s small back. He looked at you with a mixture of pain and gratitude. “She’s beautiful. She’s going to grow up knowing how much you loved her.”
You smiled faintly, your eyes meeting Joel’s. “Promise me you’ll tell her stories about me. About our time together, and how much we loved each other.”
Joel nodded, tears streaming down his face. “I promise. She’ll know all about you. She’ll know how amazing you were, how much you loved her, and how you made every moment special.”
As your breaths grew slower, the room seemed to hold its breath with you. Joel leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m here with you,” he whispered. “You’re not alone.”
You turned your gaze back to Sarah, your voice trembling as you spoke to her. “I’ll always be with you, sweetheart. In your heart, in your dreams, and in every beautiful thing you do. Mommy loves you more than anything.”
Sarah cooed softly, her tiny fingers reaching out to touch your face. You gently caressed her cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin. “Be good for Daddy. He’ll take care of you, and he’ll love you just as much as I do.”
Joel’s tears fell freely now, his face buried in his hands as he struggled to contain his grief. He took a deep breath, his voice cracking with emotion as he spoke to you. “We’ll be okay. We’ll remember you. We’ll make sure Sarah knows how special you were, and we’ll keep you in our hearts forever.”
You took a final, shuddering breath, your strength waning. You looked at Joel one last time, seeing the depth of his love and commitment. “I love you,” you whispered. “Forever and always.”
With that final promise, you closed your eyes, feeling a deep sense of peace. The love that had defined your life, the love that you had shared with Joel and Sarah, would continue to live on in their hearts, a testament to the beautiful and profound bond you had created together.
+++++++++++
The room fell into an overwhelming silence after your final breath. The beeping of the heart monitor ceased, replaced by the quiet sobs of Joel and the soft, rhythmic breathing of Sarah, who remained nestled in your arms. The gravity of the moment settled heavily on Joel, and he carefully took Sarah from your lifeless embrace, holding her close as he struggled to contain his grief.
Tommy and Maria, who had been waiting outside, came in quietly, their eyes red and their faces etched with sorrow. They stood at a respectful distance, offering their support and understanding as Joel cradled Sarah in his arms, tears streaming down his face.
Joel gently laid you back onto the hospital bed, his fingers lingering on your hand as if hoping to feel a last trace of warmth. His heart was shattered, but he knew he had to be strong for Sarah. He reached for the small bundle of joy that was their daughter, holding her close and whispering words of comfort to her.
He glanced around the room, taking in the reality of the situation. The once lively conversations, the shared laughter, and the promises of a future together seemed like a distant memory now. It was a stark contrast to the present, a heavy silence filled with the echoes of your love and the pain of your absence.
Tommy stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on Joel’s shoulder. “We’ll take care of everything,” he said softly. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Maria nodded; her eyes filled with compassion. “We’ll help you with all the arrangements. We’re here for you, for Sarah.”
Joel managed a nod, his voice hoarse as he replied, “Thank you.”
It was all he managed to say.
+++++++++++
Joel stumbled through the front door of the house, the once familiar warmth now replaced by an overwhelming coldness. Each step felt heavier as he moved through the rooms, his heart aching with the absence of your presence. The house, once filled with laughter and love, now felt hollow and silent.
He made his way to the bedroom, the place where you had shared so many moments of intimacy and comfort. As he entered the room, the emptiness was palpable. The bed, once shared, now seemed too large and lonely. The space you had filled with your presence and love was now a void, echoing with memories.
Joel collapsed onto the bed, his chest heaving with the intensity of his grief. He buried his face in the pillow, the scent of you still lingering faintly. Tears streamed down his face as he allowed himself to fully embrace the sorrow that had overtaken him. The silence of the room was only broken by the sound of his sobs, a raw and unrestrained expression of the depth of his pain.
He clutched the pillow, imagining it was you, and whispered your name through his tears. “I miss you so much,” he choked out, his voice breaking with every word. “I don’t know how to do this without you.”
The room felt like a shrine to your memory, filled with remnants of your life together—the framed photographs on the nightstands, the soft glow of the bedside lamp, and the faint traces of your touch. Each item seemed to amplify the void left behind.
Joel’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and regrets. He replayed moments from the past—times when you had laughed together, held each other, and dreamed of a future that now felt out of reach. The memories were both a comfort and a torment, a reminder of what had been lost and what would never be again.
As he lay there, the exhaustion of the day and the emotional toll finally began to weigh on him. He knew he had to be strong for Sarah, but in this moment, alone in the room that held so many of your shared memories, he allowed himself to grieve. The night stretched out before him, a long and lonely vigil as he wrestled with the enormity of his loss.
Hours later, Joel eventually drifted into a fitful sleep, the weight of his grief a constant companion. He knew that tomorrow would bring more challenges, more pain, and more adjustments to a life forever altered by your absence. But for now, the quiet of the night and the space you had shared was all he had, and he clung to it as a bittersweet reminder of the love that would always remain in his heart.
+++++++++++++
On Sarah’s thirteenth birthday, Joel felt a mix of pride and bittersweet nostalgia. It was a significant milestone, and he wanted it to be special for her. The day had been filled with laughter, friends, and celebrations, but there was one more moment that he had been waiting for—a moment he had kept close to his heart.
After the festivities had calmed down and Sarah was surrounded by her friends and family, Joel gently called her aside. “There’s something I want to give you,” he said, his voice carrying a tender note of emotion.
Sarah looked at him with curiosity as he led her to a quiet corner of the house. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped package. The paper was adorned with a delicate floral design, and a note was attached with a ribbon.
“This is something your mom left for you,” Joel said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “She knew this day would come, and she wanted you to have this.”
Sarah’s eyes widened with surprise as she carefully untied the ribbon and removed the wrapping. Inside was a beautifully crafted jewelry box, its surface intricately designed with floral patterns and delicate engravings. As she lifted the lid, a soft gasp escaped her lips.
Inside the box lay a locket, its surface engraved with the initials “S” and “J,” and a small, framed photo of you and Sarah, taken when she was just a baby. The locket contained two small, precious pictures—one of you, and one of Sarah as a newborn.
Sarah’s eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Joel. “I’ve never seen this before,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
Joel nodded, his own eyes misty. “Your mom wanted you to have it on your thirteenth birthday. She wanted you to know how much she loved you and how proud she was of the person you’re becoming.”
Sarah carefully picked up the locket, her fingers brushing the photo of you. “Thank you,” she said, her voice choked with emotion. “It means so much to me.”
Joel pulled her into a gentle embrace, holding her close as she cried softly against him. “She loved you more than anything,” Joel said quietly. “And she’s always with us, in our hearts and in our memories.”
As Sarah held the locket close, she looked up at Joel with a grateful smile. “I’m going to keep this forever,” she said, her voice filled with determination. “It’s a piece of her that I can always carry with me.”
Joel smiled through his tears, feeling a profound sense of peace. “She would be so proud of you,” he said. “And she’ll always be a part of your life, just like she is a part of mine.”
As Sarah clasped the locket around her neck, a gentle warmth seemed to fill the room. Joel noticed a soft, iridescent glow forming in the air, gradually taking shape. His heart skipped a beat as he saw what seemed to be a delicate butterfly, its wings shimmering with a myriad of colors that danced in the light.
The butterfly hovered for a moment, almost as if it were assessing its surroundings, before it gracefully fluttered over to Sarah and Joel. It landed gently on Sarah’s shoulder, its tiny wings fluttering in a serene, almost ethereal manner.
Sarah’s eyes widened in awe as she reached out a trembling hand. The butterfly, with its captivating, almost familiar patterns, seemed to radiate a gentle, comforting presence. Joel stood beside her, his tears now mingled with a profound sense of wonder and calm.
“It’s her,” Joel said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. “It’s really her.”
Sarah’s face lit up with a smile, her earlier sadness replaced by a serene joy. “Mom,” she said quietly, her eyes fixed on the butterfly. “It’s like she’s here with us.”
Joel nodded, his heart swelling with emotion. “She’s always with us, in every moment, in every memory. This is her way of reminding us that she’s never truly gone.”
The butterfly remained perched on Sarah’s shoulder for a few more moments before it gently took flight, circling the room in a graceful dance. It finally settled on a nearby windowsill, where it continued to flutter its wings, casting a soft glow in the dim light.
Sarah and Joel watched in awe, their smiles reflecting the profound connection they felt in that moment. The butterfly, with its vibrant colors and delicate grace, was a symbol of the love and presence that transcended time and space.
As the butterfly eventually fluttered away into the night, leaving a trail of shimmering light behind, Joel wrapped his arm around Sarah, pulling her into a warm embrace. “She’s always here, with us,” Joel said softly. “And we’ll carry her memory with us, every day.”
Sarah hugged her father tightly, her heart full of the love and comfort that the butterfly had symbolized. “I know,” she whispered. “And I’ll keep this locket close to remind me of her.”
+++++++++++++++
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sordidmusings · 25 days ago
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mihawk strikes me as the type to hide any hickies that he got but admire them in private, shanks would shamelessly show them off in public, while robin is more casual and doesn't get embarrassed if someone points it out and says point blank that she made out with you and it was very nice (sanji is crying).
YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Also that ending is sENDING ME DJFJFJFJFFK if you’re afab then Sanji would definitely be stuck struggling if those were tears of joy for knowing it happened or tears of pain that he’ll never be a part of it. Probably more of the latter. If you’re amab then those are 100% grade A, bonafide Tears of Despair 💀
Mihawk, Shanks, and Robin Hickey Headcanons
Thinking about the Mihawk, you’d have to be Smart about where you put those hickies (thighs thighs thighs-) since he’s always Tits Out and Collar POPPED. I think if he showed up with a fully buttoned shirt or turtleneck it would be more suspicious than him saying the bruises were from training 💀 (I mean maybe it was true - you could’ve been training him to let you fully take charge for once 🤷🏼‍♀️). The thought of him admiring them is what really grabs me in this. I like to think the betrayal that Oda hints at in Mihawk’s background is related to a past love (many good daydreams from this lol) so him healing enough from that to take the time to admire a mark of intimacy?? Feel satisfaction looking at a physical reminder that you belong to each other?? Find comfort in being your partner and enjoying being wanted and owned by you??? Happy brain 🫠🫠🫠
Shanks being the resident manwhore is Gospel dude and I fuckin LOVE him for that 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 here for the energy and the good times lol I imagine that he just showed them first cuz he didn’t care to hide them. Why would it matter?? It’s obvious he’s a man with a large appetite for debauchery both light and heavy and they’re all adults on the ship so there’s no problem. Then he found he enjoyed all the jokes, whether in his favor or at his expense, whenever his crew caught a peep of an exceptionally dark or large one or an excessive art project coloring his neck and chest. But once he got with you he enjoyed it even more. He was proud edging on smug whenever others saw the marks you’ve left on him. He got to have you and they didn’t. Better yet they also got to see just how much you enjoy him. Why would he ever hide that??
R O B I N 😩 I HAVE A NEED OKOK AND OML I WAS CACKLING AT THE “and it was very nice” HDHFHFJD SO HER AND SO FUNNY 💀💀💀 imagine that conversation being how the crew finds out you’re together. They just thought you were Close Friends. And I mean they’re not wrong, there’s just some extra activities. And maybe a new type of devotion to go along with the friend one. Whoopsies 🤷🏼‍♀️. Honestly maybe even extra points if it’s also the convo where you get together because the making out just kind of Happened and you’ve been agonizing over the “what does it mEAN???” and “how do I talk to her about this???” Then she’s just like “yeah we kissed and it was great :)”. Oh so this isn’t a big secret?? She’s not ashamed?? It was great 👀 over the howls of Sanji you manage to ask her to meet with you after breakfast for a convo (and more time enjoying some “very nice” activities)
Complete side note on Robin - since sensation but not wounds seem to transfer from her copies and extra limbs/etc. that would be insanely convenient to go buck wild while also being able to be completely discrete. Of course you don’t get the same advantage 😔 which I’m sure she’d exploit to have fun watching you react to them being pointed out by the loud mouthed captain like every time (“Luffy I tOLD you already - we weren’t leaving you out of sparring!”) or maybe a nosy navigator heheheh
And on an angstier note, having gone so so so long without love, I bet physical reminders of any kind help her feel like it’s real and that’s she’s not just going to wake up and find out it was all a dream. There’s also a promise in visible proofs of love, sometimes even ones as ~scandalous~ as hickies, that you want that love and you’re proud of that love. I think Robin would find a lot of solace in anything that helps her know you’re happy and proud to love her.
Really enjoying these and may do some little vignettes of them! Undecided if I wanna throw some others in there 🤔 maybe if any Grabs Me while I think more about it haha or if anyone is possibly interested 🤷🏼‍♀️
Thank you for sending in your thoughts dear anon❣️I’ve had so much fun with them!!!! Sending love and hugs 🤍🤍🤍
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Part of my little celebration!
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haechoxo · 4 months ago
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[3:18 pm]
three months later
“i haven’t seen haechan this happy in months.” mumbled jeno, watching the scene unfolding across from him. there you were, animatedly explaining some workplace drama to haechan, who definitely wasn’t paying attention to anything coming out of your mouth, too busy staring at you with hearts in his eyes.
“i know, right… it’s disgusting.” renjun deadpanned.
“c’mon jun, acting like you weren’t also rooting for them back in school.” mark chided. “he finally got his shit in order, now look at him, like a lovesick puppy.” he teased.
“are you guys gonna keep to one corner for your date the entire afternoon or are you gonna tell us how haechan finally romanced you.” chenle sighed, waiting impatiently for the story.
“oh he romanced me alright,” you gushed, ready to fill them in, while haechan only grumbled, sinking in his seat, not wanting them to know the nitty gritty details of three weeks prior when he finally asked you out.
“so are we gonna go on a date yet or what?” haechan couldn’t hide the jittery excitement even if he tried, his leg bouncing like he was ready to jump at any moment now.
it had been two months since you made up with him, accepting his apology, and vowing to rekindle your friendship at the very least.
“hm… well i don’t know, i haven’t been properly asked…” you sigh dramatically, looking around with a rather bored expression. something finally clicks in his brain, you can almost see in the corner of your eye, a lightbulb over his head flickers.
what does he do?
“oh my dear y/n, please please please please can i take you out on a date? y/n i promise, cross my heart, swear on my nintendogs, i will make it worth your while i will wine and dine you so hard, we could do a classic romantic dinner and a movie i heard inside out 2 is doing super well right now… would you do me, lee donghyuck, the honor of going on a date with me?” the room is silent save for the literal panting he was doing, having said it all in one breath, on his knees, hands clasped together as he begged for a proper date.
your mouth was agape, you should’ve expected such theatrics from haechan, but it wasn’t any less surprising to hear such a sincere level of dedication and desperation.
“inside out 2 sounds like a good plan,” you murmur, which is immediately met with haechan doing a victory dance of sorts.
“check out romeo!” even jisung took part in the teasing, making haechan’s ears burn bright red.
“okay, cut it out! i thought it was cute, that’s all that matters.” you pouted at their relentless teasing.
“i thought that was a great way to ask someone out, i expect nothing less from a real man!”
“sure, jaemin.” renjun muttered.
“it’s fine, y/n,” he grabs your hand softly, “i can put up with the jokes, as long as i’m yours.”
“barf.”
“renjun!”
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previous
a/n ; its over……………….. i would like to thank u guys 😖 for being here with me ☹️ for my first ever fanfic 😣 i have a long way to improve still,, especially with happy endings🤓 cuz this is kinda corny im w renjun….. BUT srsly im glad u guys enjoyed urs up til now and i hope it lived up to ur expectations,, feel free to leave ur thoughts and comments and opinions or any questions in my inbox (so i have an excuse to yap),, i do think with time i will eventually add more bonuses and standalone content that can tie in to the urs!au (so i have more excuses to yap) ,,advice is still appreciated!! xoxo jelly
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angeliicheartt · 4 months ago
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🐬 "ᴘᴜʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ!" — send a dialogue prompt and a character and i'll write a blurb!
actually so down bad for this idea but "it's him or me" WITH TENYAYAYAAAAAAAH might be a bit 🤏🏻 ooc prompt for him but I'm in desperate need of a jealous iida in my life 🙏🏼
"ʜɪᴍ ᴏʀ ᴍᴇ."
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includes: tenya iida
fem!reader
a/n: ooc!tenya, monoma is reader's friend from childhood cuz i need an "other man" ermermerm tenya is kind of in the process of courting reader? he insisted. tenya is kinda 😬 in this, pls listen to "el tango de roxanne" from the moulin rouge soundtrack i think it fits! tenya looks so fine in the pic below
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it really hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal to you. 
so what if you were close with neito? the two of you had been friends since preschool. although, he proved to be a challenge to the poor boy attempting to court you, tenya.
your chest ached with worry as you stood only a few feet away from the fuming boy, the two of you gathered outside the dormitory building, the gleam from the streetlamps and the moon being the only sources of light. his uncharacteristically dark eyes boring into you, making you uneasy. his arms crossed over his chest as the two of you stood off. you stood clueless as to why tenya was mad. 
“what's got you so upset?” you try, your voice only slightly above a whisper. your feet shuffle around as you stalk closer to tenya, wanting to try and comfort him. His eyebrows furrow at you before relaxing again as he lets out a heavy sigh.
“i suppose it is rather unfair if i do not tell you what’s upset me.” he remarks, his arms unraveling to rest at his sides. you rest your weight on one leg, your hands clasping together behind you as you wait patiently for the navy-haired boy to explain. he pushes up his glasses before running a hand through his dark hair, the sight pleasing if not for the tension that filled the space between you two.
“you’re around monoma from class B a lot, y/n, it makes me feel discomfited.” he states, his eyes locked on you as your eyebrows furrow slightly. your shoulders tense as you hear tenya’s words. you thought he’d understand.
“he’s like a brother to me, tenya.” you say, your voice interlaced with disbelief. “you know that, i’ve told you that numerous times.”
“it doesn’t make me feel any different, y/n. you still fawn over him like he’s your partner,” he chastised, his volume raising the longer he talks. “you don’t do that with me.”
you scoff as your eyebrows furrowed once more, your cheeks getting hot the more worked up you get. your own arms move to rest on your hips, your jaw stiff with tension.
“last i checked, you have yet to formally ask me to be your partner, tenya, so don’t think you have the right to be mad at me for not treating you as such. i thought i would scare you away if i latched onto you so early. you wanted to take things slow, i was only respecting that.” you spat, meaner than you may have meant. you watched as tenya’s shoulders dropped, his posture hunching before straightening again, his eyes dark with vexation.
“we cannot move forward in our relationship if you are always with another man, y/n!” he hissed, his dark eyes locked on you. 
“i say hello to him! i talk to him, tenya. just like every other man i interact with! he’s my friend, nothing more!” you maintained, your voice rising in tandem with tenya’s. your chest heaved with emotion, you thought tenya was different from this.
“you're closer with him than anyone else! what am i supposed to think?” he berates, his anger not dissipating in the slightest. his hand runs through his hair once again, but you don’t even process the motion, your hand reaching up to rub your forehead, an attempt to soothe your growing headache. 
“we’ve known each other since we were five, iida! of course we’re close, i grew up with him!” you worry about your volume but the thought gets pushed to your subconscious. “you can’t just ask me to lose my whole relationship with him!”
you see tenya’s eyebrow twitch at your use of his last name, your heart ringing guilty before you steel yourself again. “i won’t stop being friends with him for anyone.”
“it’s him or me, y/n.” he stated, his words rushing ice through your veins. your lips part as you aim a glare at the boy before you. you close your mouth, your lip curling slightly as you seethe from your spot only a couple feet away from tenya.
tenya already felt the guilt and regret seeping into his stomach, the ultimatum he proposed weighing on his shoulders as you stand in silence, and.. were your eyes glassy?
you steeled yourself not to cry. tenya was who you wanted, you dreamed of ending up with a man like him, he was a gentleman, he never tried in earnest to hurt you in any way, yet he still did.
“you cannot ask me to pick,” your voice trembled but your words rang clear. “i will not pick.”
“then you’ve chosen him.” he noted, his voice a fraction of the volume it was only a few moments ago, his hand coming up to adjust his glasses once again. your breath catches in your lungs as you take in what he said.
“are you serious right now? really tenya?!” you find your voice again, continuing to spout words at this raised volume, “you’re ending what we had before we could even experience it?!”
“i suppose i am, y/n.” he says calmly as he turns, walking into the dormitory building.
he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend tonight.. how’d it go so wrong?
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ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @miyamoratsumuu
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angelyuji · 10 months ago
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yandere bruce wayne headcanons
yandere bruce wayne x gn!reader
warnings: yandere behavior, gross guy bruce wayne, kidnapping, stalking, power imbalance, rich guy uses his rich guy money to manipulate reader, creepy guy being a creepy guy lol (lmk for anything i might've missed i am half-asleep)
im thinking ill write some actual fanfics for him soon, idk what TO write tho...
STALKKKERRRR STALEKER SJALKER STALKER!!!
he is a creature of the night so u KNOW he’s watching you from a rooftop next to ur apartment
think of the scene in the batman when he’s watching Selina undress and stuff yeah hes a peeper (hes so fine i love bruce)
my man doesn’t have any superpowers BUT hes literally the freaking batman, he has cameras all over gotham so i promise he has eyes on you at all times
he’ll watch over you and make sure ur not gonna get mugged by some loser with a gun or get caught up in a joker/ivy/freeze/whomever scheme
like hes stalking you
he knows everything abt u too with WE and the Batcomputer (lol) he’ll have all ur personal info on file, ur twitter acc, your Instagram, any social media, literally everything on a separate file that is locked behind multiple passwords and eye scans (especially if we’re looking at bruce with kids like he knows they’d open the file and snoop)
if we’re looking at pattinson!batman/early years, he’s probably gonna write abt u in his diary journal (hes just a silly little guy)
he’ll try to give you a job at wayne enterprises to keep an eye on you as bruce (obvi becuz he cant be batman 24/7) (job depends on your experience and degree) (he’ll want u as a personal assistant or something but depending on your area of expertise… you’re probably not gonna accept lol)
if u do accept for a position as assistant/secretary, he’ll have your desk 3 ft away, he’ll be calling u into his office just to talk, basically like sort of training u to be his wife (get coffee, make lunch/get lunch, invite u to be his plus one for galas) all that jazz, he’ll flirt with u but ur gonna be like “oh that’s just brucie wayne being brucie wayne, but once u get comfortable in ur role, he’ll start making moves like hand on the lower back, pressing against u in any situation possible, he’ll never seem creepy (yet) but it’ll make u slightly uncomfortable considering he’s ur boss.
i can think of 2 possibilities that could occur
1. creepiest boss ever. he’ll order u how to dress to be his assistant/how to dress at galas (skimpy dresses, short skirts, tight pants, tight fitting dress shirts that exposes everything, shit like that), he’ll LEER at u like bruce will purposely drop stuff and make u pick it up so he can watch u bend over. like the worst. you’ll get tired of this behavior and quit and bruce will get angry and kidnap u
2. still creepy but not as bad. more like extravagant gifts, vacations, parties. he’ll still flirt and try to have as much physical contact with u as possible but he knows where to draw the line. you wouldn’t quit cuz yk great pay, okay boss. but like his feelings would get too much to contain and he’ll kidnap u in the end anyway
if i had to diagnose the batmans i care abt id sayyyy 1 is Affleck, 2 is bale, and Pattinson is a mix of both. comic batman has so many different writers and each run has a different personality for him saur depends on the writer lmao
u wouldn’t be able to date cuz of yk…….. WE rules………… but he’ll get tired of that taboo/secret relationship bs pretty quickly and just kidnap u
if u don’t accept a position as an assistant/secretary, he gets it but more than likely, his feelings for u will intensify and he’ll end up taking you to keep at wayne manor
before getting into when ur stuck at wayne manor, lets break down bruce’s thoughts abt u
he has put u on a PEDESTAL
ur amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, u. can. do. no. wrong.
in his mind, ur the light to his darkness
alfred totally enables him and if we’re talking dilf bruce, the kids learn from him so they just assume this is what love is, kidnapping and manipulation
you’d adjust to life at wayne manor (not quickly but yk mf is RICH, ur gonna be treated so well once u understand that u cant leave)
bruce wouldn’t torture u but he’d pavlov u for sure
you would only be given comfort and relief when ur around him/good to him
if ur not good, then he’d probably keep u locked up in the batcave or in any of the many empty rooms at the manor
bruce wayne is the most powerful and influential person, ANDD has THE most powerful people on the planet as his best friends… you’re stuck with him babes
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gatorbites-imagines · 4 months ago
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Hello! I hope you're doing good
I saw your post the other day that you were accepting requests but I don't know if you still are, but if you are, I was wondering if we could get some Nolan Grayson content👉👈
Nolan Grayson NSFW alphabet
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I was given the chance to write anything, so alphabet time. This is post season 2 Nolan, cuz hes my bbygirl, and I think hed be a better partner in general.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
I don’t believe viltrumite culture really does aftercare. They sleep together to have offspring, or maybe as a dominance thing, but I can’t see them doing a lot of healthy kink stuff, or just cuddling afterwards. He probably did something akin to it with Debbie, but its only after leaving it all behind after season 1 and getting with you that he would start to see more importance in it, especially when you give him a lot of aftercare whenever you are in charge. Hes not the best at it yet, but he does try.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On his partner, Nolans favorite part would be any muscularity they have, or if you happen to have a beard. If you have neither then its his partners thighs and hands. On himself its his muscles, especially his torso and arms.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
I hope you got a bucket, viltrumites get the kryptonian treatment in this house. Which means, theres so much cum. Nolan produces even more than Mark. Mostly because hes older and is in his “prime” if that makes sense. Unlike Mark though, Nolan doesn’t see the amount he makes as an annoyance, since hes still quite prideful. You do catch him puffing out his chest a little if you mentioned its something you find attractive though.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Has always had fantasies of being dominated or defeated in battle, whereafter the enemy will have their way with him. He has never once acted on these fantasies, but now that he’s with you and has gotten a reality check he might little by little try to step out of his comfort zone. Has had a few fantasies of being defeated, captured, and made into some kind of trophy wife, think like Leia in the slave dress type situation.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Theres no way to know how old Nolan is, but its assumed hes thousands of years old. This doesn’t mean hes got a lot of experience, since like I mentioned before, I believe viltrumites only do it to reproduce or for dominance. Hes probably gotten more game on earth than most of his life up till that point, so theres things you’ll have to teach him.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Any position that puts you above him or has you pinning him in some way, especially loves any position where you choke him in some way, be it your hands or with your arm. When hes feeling more dominant himself you better except him to pull an amazonian position or something like that.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Nolan is serious in most situations, and the bedroom is the same, especially since part of him feels a little strange just doing it for fun like this. But also because Nolan thinks he has to pay attention and learn, to make up for his less stellar experiences in the past.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Nolan doesn’t shave any of the hair on his body, except for his beard to get his usual stache. Viltrumites I believe would take pride in their bodyhair. He does keep it neat and tidy though, kinda like a controlled chaos.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Nolan doesn’t really know how to be way too romantic in the moment, since being in love without a purpose is still so new to him. He has his moments though, where he just kinda looks his partner in the eyes with the most love filled eyes. Saying it, is still difficult though.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)                                                                                                                                       
The normal amount for viltrumites his age, which I believe would be once a day or once every two days, just to keep themselves from backing up too much of it. up until recently hes probably mostly done it for his health, but after getting with you he starts to do it for fun.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Doing it in the suit, or just his cape for that matter.
Strength and power in general.
Blood kink, pain kink, what comes with fighting.
Sparring and training with his partner.
Powerplay
BDSM
Sensory deprivation
Asphyxiation and choking
Edging and overstimulation
Breeding (secretly, on him)
Roleplay (like the slave Leia and owner type roleplay. Getting this from him will be almost impossible though)
Dom/sub or master/slave
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Nolan could honestly do it anywhere, he doesn’t have a preference. That comes with being his age and having an ego like viltrumites tend to do. Hes a preference for doing it on battlefields or wherever you guys spar though.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Its not that hard to get Nolan going, but hes much better at containing it than Mark, but that’s more because of age and life experiences. The easiest way to get him going is to get his adrenaline up, so sparring or even outright fighting. That, or just jerking off somewhere nearby, cuz he will hear and smell it with ease.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Share. Nolan wouldn’t share himself or his partner with anybody, he is very possessive. Especially other viltrumites. It would be like putting to male hamsters together, one of them dies before its over.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Didn’t have much of a preference in the past since it wasn’t really anything he paid too much attention too. But with Debbie he preferred receiving, since it was the more “dominant” role. But with you he learns that he quite likes giving, he just has a hard time in the beginning getting on his knees below you.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on the situation, but most of the time its slow and hard. But if its after you guys have sparred or fought, its faster and even rougher. He loves when you treat him roughly too. But there are times where its more slow lovemaking than anything else.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Nolan doesn’t have anything against quickies, its just not his favorite. If you both are in the mood, sure he enjoys it, but he prefers when you guys can take your time. But this also stems from viltrumites having so much damn stamina that one quickie doesn’t even scratch the itch.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Nolans for trying most things, even more dangerous stuff, unless you are vulnerable like a human or something else in that genre, he wouldn’t want to accidentally crush you with his thighs or anything.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
More stamina than you could imagine, you can’t even dream of keeping up unless you are a fellow viltrumite, like Allen, or some other species like that. Could probably go nonstop for days, if not a couple of weeks without having to slow down. In the end, even If you are a fellow viltrumite, you guys probably just stop more out of boredom or because you have other things to do than exhaustion.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Doesn’t own toys, and doesn’t really see the purpose for the most part. Of course, he still has fantasies where they fit very well, but Nolan won’t admit it even if you can tell hes thought about it from his blush.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Depends on his mood for the most part. If you guys are alone, I could see him getting handsy or mumbling the raunchiest of things. The type to “accidentally” rip your clothes just right, or his own clothes for that matter, just to show off a little. He loves when you tease him too, he’s just still very bad at waiting it out.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not very loud, even if you’ve somehow gotten him deep into subspace. He’s mainly grunts and groans, and he clenches his teeth a lot, meaning you’ll have to put something in his mouth. But if you do put something in his mouth, you might get some gasped moans and whimpers if you’re lucky.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Has written multiple very successful adult novels under a penname when he lived on earth. One happens to be an extremely popular series based around his own most shameful (in his opinion) fantasies, involving a muscular warrior put under the boot of an even bigger and more muscular warrior. He’s not good at it, but Nolan likes to draw. It tends to mainly be doodles, but he’s surprisingly good at vehicles and landscapes.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Very big and thick, like, you are so lucky he turns out to like bottoming the most. How Debbie took it, you’ll never learn, but that woman deserves a damn medal. Both a grower and a shower, you think he’s big when he’s soft, you’ll be in for a surprise when he gets hard. Veiny and uncut.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Its always been quite average for a viltrumite his age and position, meaning he was fine taking care of himself up until now. Now Nolan finds himself fumbling every now and then, because he feels like an uncontrollable animal at times with how much he wants it. Nolan is able to suppress it though, more for his own pride and dignity than anything else.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Nolan doesn’t really fall asleep afterwards on the regular, its only if you’ve really wrung his dry mentally, by for example putting him in subspace or similar. But its almost impossible to get him physically tired enough to sleep. He does like to cuddle afterwards, even if he doesn’t like to admit it.
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cosmicdream222 · 8 months ago
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What is “the state of wish fulfilled” or “feeling the wish fulfilled”?
(Explained in my own words cuz states tumblr is a shitshow)
When I was in HS, I was obsessed with Japan and wanted to visit, and eventually move there.
My dream life = living in Japan, doing the things I wanted to do
My life at the time = living in America, not being able to do the things I wanted to do
Was I sitting around feeling sorry for myself and whining “boo hoo poor me, I wish I was in Japan. Why did I have to be born here? It’s not fair I’m missing out on so much.” HELL NO!! That = the state of lack
Instead, I was excited. I didn’t see going to Japan as such a big deal, it’s not like I wanted to go to outer space! All I had to do was save up some money and buy a plane ticket. It was totally realistic in my mind, why couldn’t I do it?
Sure I wasn’t there now, but I KNEW I could go there eventually. So I spent my time studying & practicing Japanese, enjoying my hobbies from afar, researching & planning my future visits. That = the state of wish fulfilled.
(And yes, I did end up visiting many times and eventually lived there for 5 years.)
Here’s another scenario:
Imagine right now that you won the lottery for an extremely large amount of money - let’s say 1 billion dollars. You have the winning ticket in your hand and you’re at the lotto office right now. They tell you it’s gonna be a few weeks of processing and paperwork before you actually receive the money, but it is yours. It is done.
It doesn’t matter if you’re currently broke, in debt, hate your job, hate your living situation or have any other unfortunate circumstances. In a few weeks, you will have more money than you will ever be able to spend. You will never have to work again. You will never have to worry about money again.
You might not currently know what it “feels like” to be a billionaire, but you know that your current circumstances don’t matter anymore because everything is gonna change soon.
Now, if you are reading this, you have learned about loa/void/shifting - and that is even better than any lottery you could ever win. You found out the truth, my dudes! Reality is an illusion and you can have anything you want. ANYTHING anything, not just materialistic earth things!
Yes we have been programmed with opposite beliefs our whole lives. It might be hard to wrap your head around at first. It might be hard to let go of all the victim-based thinking that society encourages. It might take a week or a month or longer to manifest your desires - but does it matter? Time is an illusion, and you WILL succeed eventually. You didn’t find out about the truth only to fail.
Sitting around on tumblr scrolling for more methods, asking every blogger the same questions, complaining that you don’t have your desires yet = the state of lack
Knowing that you WILL have your desires NO MATTER WHAT and not letting your current circumstances affect you = the state of wish fulfilled.
Have patience and persist! I have faith in you, so have a little faith in yourselves! ILY all and want you to live your best life ❤️
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goldfades · 7 months ago
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Paige 100% sends those pictures of two inanimate object and goes “us if we were___”
Like two soap bottles touching tips “us if we were soap”
Paige def just scrolls through your phone gallery, looking at your pictures. Staring fondly and going “my wife’s so pretty.” and “Why didn’t you send me this????” (I just thought of a whole fic on this idea oml i’m getting Hot)
Anytime you send a photo to Paige honestly, she’s going off on Imessage just hyping you up.
OMG THEY HAVE A SHARED PHOTO ALBUM. BUT BUT BUT it’s not just photos of themselves, it’s also like “I saw this and was thought of you.” Photos like OSXBUDHANA
Loves listening to you talk so she brings up things she knows you love talking about.
——-
Also that motherfucker definitely makes the manager mad on purpose cuz she thinks it’s cute when the managers angry. (The manager being furious is a whole different situation.) And it doesn’t help that Paige is taller.
Manager will just be ranting at paige whilst paige is just smiling the whole time.
The manager notices and goes “and you’re just smiling like shits funny, ain’t nothin funny-“ “you’re just so cute princess”
oop
that shut her up real quick
“Paige’s get the fuck outta my office.” but like she’s all flustered and Paige can tell
——
I think you touched on this, but when they get together and yk, have to keep it on the low for a multitude of reasons.
One one hand it sucks cuz yk, Paige can’t brag like she wants to yet. But on the other hand Paige is a cocky little shit and will take the opportunity to be handsy and flirty (to a certain degree) knowing that the girls aren’t gonna think too much of it cuz paige has always been like that, But Paige and the manager both know there’s more reason to it now.
BUT NEVER FRETE our manager can play the same game Paige, don’t start stuff you can’t finish. Then it lowkey become just a personal game for them of who could fluster the other more without the team getting suspicious.
Contrary to popular belief I think the Manager and Paige made a bet on how long with would take the team to figure out they were together. So they didn’t tell them outright, but just went along letting them figure it out themselves.
——
I also feel like people started noticing the dynamic change. Like don’t get me wrong the managers job comes first so Paige isn’t getting any extreme special treatment, but the girls and fans start noticing the managers tone switch when she’s talking to Paige.
Her tone just gets a bit softer and more gentle.
Like there’s this clip of manager talking to Caroline normally, then Paige calls her and manager turns and goes “yes baby?” so softly AND LIKE the “baby” isn’t what gets people cuz again, manager calls everyone by pet names. It’s HOW quickly her tone changes as soon as she started talking to Paige.
And we already know Paige’s eye contact game goes crazy and she has a STARRING PROBLEM, if I had a nickel for how many times Paige was caught staring at the manager I would be buying everyone on this blog canes oml.
Manager doesn’t really strike me as a person who shies away from eye contact most of the time, which is evident cuz there’s clips of them just starting at each other and you can FEEL THE TENSION.
But when manager does shy away from it, Paige either grabs her chin and turns her face back to her, or if she can’t Paige moves her head to try and stay in the managers eye sight.
Or let’s say Paige is talking and manager gets distracted by something. Paige is grabbing her cheeks gently with both hands, saying “Hey, I’m right here pretty girl.” while gently rubbing her cheeks with her thumbs, then drops her hands from her face and just goes back to talking.
-🐹
(girl request that fic idea i wanna hear it now) THIS ENTIRE ASK IS GOLD I AM PUTTING IT IN THE MASTERLIST ASAPPPPP!!!!!
the shared photo album is soooo real!!!!! and paige is the one who puts the most pictures cus baby girl is a sentimental person she wants to take pics of EVERYTHING!
i feel like paige wants to think she's the winner every time yall play that "who can make the other flustered without the team noticing" game but honestly, why is the manager lowkey a rizzler????? likeeeeeee paige would pretend not to blush but its super obvious
AND THE TONE CHANGE IS SOOOO SO REAL, ur so right!!!!!! and its kinda obvious but the girls don't wanna say anything yet but they'll def tease them.
the whole eye contact thing made me melttttt goodnight!!!!
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smellslikechahnspirit · 3 months ago
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Could you please write a short story on reader distancing herself from chan bc another member (any member of your choice) confessed to her that they caught feelings for them too and reader feels really conflicted since they do not want to cause any tension between the group and reader is scared to tell chan but also doesn’t know what to do?? like they don’t want either party to feel bad and kind of are thinking about leaving chan so that there’s no conflict, but chan finds out in the end, and they talk about it?
Absolutely love you and your work!❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰
Hurt - part 1
[You rejected Hyunjin because you are dating Chan]
BangChan x Reader x Hyunjin
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🕸🤍 read guide lines in Masterlist!
THIS IS (OBVIOUSLY) ALL FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! THIS IS MY PERCEPTION OF HOW I THINK SKZ WOULD BEHAVE IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS AKA, NOT REAL.
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03:43 AM
It was the middle of the night when you got the messages. You couldn´t sleep because of your boyfriends´ snoring anyways, so decided to unlock your phone very quietly, to check it.
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You couldn´t believe your eyes. Out of nowhere? You talked to yourself. But it woke up your boyfriend, who is well known for his light sleeping. Hm? You didn´t want to talk about this with him all sleepy, so you played it off. Nothing babe, go back to sleep. You kissed his forehead, and he did as you said. Then you looked back at the screen filled with the words you didn´t want to see. You couldn´t have this conflict, espescially not in the group. Why did he have to tell you...this made things incredibily difficult...for litterly all of you. You liked Hyunjin...but only as a good friend, nothing more. Ever. You were hopelessly in love with Chris. You wished Hyunjin never had send you these messages. It´s like the universe heard your wish, cuz as soon you thought of it...the messages dissapeared.
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Even though he deleted the messages, you still read them. It couldn´t just be deleted from your memory now too. You decided not to reply anything. Did he see that you were online? Did he see that you read the messages? Did he feel guilty and that´s why he deleted it? You had many questions. But most of all, you kinda hated the fact that he deleted it...since now you couldn´t show it to Chris, if you had to...cuz you always wanted to be honest to him about everything. And this felt like something you had to talk to him about. Also because well... it´s one of his best friends....but also a member of his group. This would stir up alot, and with the comeback and all...you didn´t want them to have a conflict. You decided to just leave it for now, and hopefully you could both just forget he ever said it in the first place.
07:00 AM
Chris his alarm clock went off. Both of you groaning since you didn´t wanna get up yet. 5 more minutes....pleaseee. He giggled. Nauuur baby, it´s an important day. It´s the first day of rehearal for the tour stage. And you promised you´d be there. Right after he said that he jumped out of bed, going into his bathroom, taking a quick shower, brushing his teeth etc. You did the same...after your extra 5 minutes of sleep. When you were done, dressed and ready to start the day you walked into the living room. Innie was already up. Morning...sleep well? He asked kindly, but a little worried. You nodded and looked at him questionably. I don´t know, I had to pee during the night and saw light coming from under your door. Thought you might have been awake. You remebered the messages, from Hyunjin. Oh that... yea I couldn´t sleep for a bit, due to this beautiful persons´ snoaring. You said as you pointed at Chris who obliviously walked out of the kitchen, into the living room with you both. Hm? Me? Snoaring? Nah. Never. He grinned. It made you two laugh too. Well let´s go shall we? It´s gonna be a busy day! You both followed Chris out of the door. He noticed you looking down at the ground a bit as you stumbled behind Innie. You okay baby? You were nervous to see the other members. Hyunjin mostly obviously. You nodded and faked a smile. I´m really happy you´re coming with us today. He said as he kissed your cheek and gave you a side hug, then grabbing your bag and carrying it for you. Me too.
08:03 AM
Chris and Innies apartment was close to the company, so you arrived in no-time. As you all got into the building you kept looking around to maybe catch a glimpse of Hyunjin yet, so you could maybe talk to him in private before hand. But unfortunetly, you didn´t see him. Not until you 3 reached the rehersal stage. There he was. Talking with Seungmin about a part of the dance. The second he noticed you he stood still. Looking at you with a wide-eyed gaze. Shit he must´ve known you did in fact saw the messages. Chris and Innie joined the others as you hung back for a bit. But you kept on observing the boys as they got started on their warm up. Smiling at Chris here and there, but then loosing that smile as soon as you remebered the perdicament you were in. Hyunjin looked at you from time to time too, and you looked back but immidiatly after, you´d look away and look down. Chris started to notice the tension between you two and commented on it during their first break.
11:34 AM
What is up with you both? You two fighting or something? You shook your head but kept looking at Hyunjin, who was currently drinking some ice coffee. No, something is definetly up y/n. You sighed. You finally decided to cut the bullshit and got up, walking towards Hyunjin. Grabbing him by his arm and have him follow you backstage.
Why did you send these words to me Hyunjin? You know I am dating Chris. I am in love with Chris! This...what you did...it makes things complicated. I am sorry, I just had to tell you. It´s how I feel y/n. You sighed again. You understood how difficult it must be for him as well. But that didn´t mean it wasn´t difficult to you too. Can´t you, forget about those feelings and pretend it never happened? I can not lose Chris. But I also don´t wanna loose you, Hyunjin. You are one of my best friends! He stayed quiet for a bit. I knew you would never choose me over him, I truly do...but I just had to say it. So you´d know. Yeah, well, me knowing isn´t good either. I don´t know what to do now... You don´t need to do anything.......it´s good that you rejected me. You both stayed silent for a bit. You saw him tearing up a bit, since well...even though it was never your intention...you did break his heart. When you saw tears streaming down his face, you felt bad and hugged him. I truly am sorry...I hope you understand though...what position you´ve put me in, and yourself too. He nodded, understanding that if this got out, there would be conciquenses. You cannot tell Chris. Not now. Maybe in the future. But if he knew, he´d be angry. He looked at you with his red teary eyes. Okay. He then walked back on to the stage, with you following him quickly after. The boys weren´t blind and they obviously noticed his teary face immidiatly. Chris mouthed to you from affar ¨What happened¨. You replied ¨Don´t worry about it¨. But he obviously wouldn´t let that slide so easily. As the guys walked closer to the both of you, it all started. Why is Hyunjin crying y/n?
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Part 2
...Masterlist...
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎
© 2022-2024, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations
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luffyvace · 8 months ago
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helooo can i request saiki x reader bf texts please? thank you so much !! anything is fine honestly as long as its saiki content i miss him 😭😭😭😭
ooooou I haven’t got a request like this yet and it seems very fun!! No problem hun <3
IKR after you finish the anime it feels like such limited content is left for the saiki k fandom!! 😭😭
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💓💗 Saiki and his boyfriend~ 💗💓
“Wanna go get some coffee jelly”
“This is oddly specific but can you tell the magician outside to leave please?”
”can you keep aiura and torisuka distracted so I can leave school?”
”thanks I’ll pay you back in (favorite thing)”
”let’s meet at the arcade”
”I’m annoyed my mom is forcing me to go outside but I know I’m gonna run into kaido”
”please come with me to make this more bearable”
”don’t forget to study for that test”
convos :3
”how do I make friends with that average guy from the other class without seeming weird”
”Kusuo idk just go up to him and talk to him 😭”
”yeah but if I don’t have something to talk about it’ll be awkward and my likeability meter will go down”
”can you figure out his interests for me so I can talk to him?”
”what? YOU do it 🤦”
”no i can’t the nuisances will find me”
convo 2 ;P
“Do you wanna come shopping with me?”
”your not gonna invite the nuisances too are you?”
”no kusuo 😭”
”oh okay well no”
“I'm NOT!”
“I know but nuisance number 4 just showed up”
”at your house?”
”no at the mall”
”ohh well fine 🤦”
convo 3
”can I borrow your bike nendo broke mine”
”HOW?”
”idk he sat on it”
”WHAT LOLL”
”I need it so I don’t have to go shopping with my dad”
”why is that so bad?? 😭”
”because he starts begging for things at the store”
”??”
“Isn’t he a grown man?”
”yeah I know that’s why I need to borrow your bike”
”sure babe..😭🤦”
convo 4
”my mom wants you to come over for dinner”
”oh alright!”
”no”
“??”
”say your sick”
”kuu why? 😭😭”
”can’t I come over??”
”no my parents are embarrassing”
”LOL”
”but I’ve come over plenty of times before tho”
”I know but, please just don’t come over”
”what’s happening??”
”fine. My dad wants to play a prank on someone because when he try to scare me it didn’t work. So I need you to come over and pretend to be scared so my mom doesn’t kill me”
”what?? So now I’m supposed to come over?”
”let’s just get it over with”
”you go through so much I swear 😭💗”
convo 5
”when you come over and my mom asks if you wanna meet my brother say no”
”whaaat but I kinda wanna meet him”
”say no”
”for both of our sakes”
”if you don’t go I won’t have to either”
”fine 😒”
convo 6
”goodnight kuu”
”goodnight m/n”
convo 7
“I hear nuisance number 4 isn’t showing up to school today”
”no she isn’t”
”rejoice. God is real.”
”KUSUO 😭😭”
convo 8
“your driving home today right? Can I hitch a ride? Nuisance number 1 is here”
”wait which nuisance is that again?”
”how can you forget? It’s the second most terrible one. Nuisance 1 is nendo”
”OHH YEAHH”
”hurry he’s coming”
”YEAH MEET ME AT THE CAR LOL”
convo 9
”come with me to nuisance number 2’s house so I don’t have to go alone”
”kaido right? he’s not so bad right? I can’t I have homework”
”no he’s just really weird and cringe and awkward”
“I’ll wait”
”okay 😭”
convo 10
“can I come over and we can watch that show you recommended me?”
”yeah sure any time kuu”
”you really don’t have to ask, I could get you a spare key if you want”
”yes an emergency escape route in case of nuisance surprises”
”WOW OK”
”and you ig”
convo 11
”that was sweet. what you did for them”
“Yeah I guess they’re not so bad for now”
”for now Kusuo?”
”you sound like my mom”
”actually, that’s not an insult I love your mom”
”I know”
”WYM 😭”
”you hug her more than I do”
”well that proves smth 🤨🤨”
”eh. I’ll get her a gift”
”good cuz she’s awesome 😙”
convo 12
“let’s finish playing that game you have”
”NO”
”WHY IT WAS SO FUNNY”
”you have never even played it he’s so annoying”
”LOLL YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL HIM TO DIE THO”
”you wouldn’t even think it’s funny if I hadn’t have told you”
”come on at least least me see the chapter you said you hated”
”you just wanna see me suffer”
”If I did I wouldn’t have distracted hairo for you earlier”
”FINE”
”LOL YIPPIE I’m coming over as soon as I’m done with my homework 🙂”
”😒”
convo 13
“How do I transfer to class 2”
”you just wanna be with satou don’t you”
”you don’t know how?”
”no kuu, I don’t 🤦”
convo 14
“I have to go visit my grandparents and my granddad is really awkward come with me”
“I’D LOVE TO MEET THEM”
”why do you love my family so much?”
”they’re strange”
”I love YOU 😒”
”are you calling me weird”
”in what way are you normal mister magic powers with weird friends and family who also has to stop a volcano from erupting yearly”
”those are just ordinary daily tasks”
”now your coming right?”
”I should leave you”
”you wish you were normal so bad”
”when are we going”
”on second thought you can stay here”
”STOP BEING SALTY IM COMING”
”NOW TELL ME WHEN”
convo 15
”let’s reschedule the coffee jelly date for Sunday”
”it’s too chaotic”
”it’s Friday”
”I know I’m dreading the weekend”
”my poor kuu 😭”
”stop”
”you sound like my mom again”
*read* 1:39pm
LOL I LOVE CONVO 10-15 😊😈 (it got more chaotic as it went on- 😭)
muahahahahhaha hope you enjoyed! these were quite fun :3
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lovedrruunk · 1 month ago
Text
My Arcane Season 2 Scene Wishlist
Season 2 in LESS THAN A MONTH!!! So here are some things I hope to see :3
1. I NEED TO SEE CAIT FIND OUT VI AND THE OTHERS R WHO BLEW UP JAYCES APARTMENT!!! I DONT CARE IF IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE!! I feel like that was the big catalyst that started everything and it’s crazy to me that Vi and Cait r gonna get together without her knowing it was Vi
2. I need to see Jinx actually mourn Silco… or have an item that symbolizes him kinda like Claggors goggles yk? Just anything that rlly shows the influence he/his death had on her. I don’t just wanna see her suddenly be all gloomy in a cloak I wanna see her break down and start hallucinating his bitchass
2.5. I need her to have a good cry oh my gosh. Like just a really sad pathetic sob where she doesn't scream or talk to herself or hear voices... this would be my final straw
3. Speaking of Claggor, I need more mentions of him and Mylo like please… with Vander resurfacing I hope we’ll get maybe a flashback or something but ik this is such a reach cuz I feel like we won't get any flashbacks this season just because like we got so many in the first season and I feel like they’re done with world building BUT I’m fine with even a name drop at this point like PLEASE I miss their family dynamic sm and I’d love to see more of their relationship, even if it’s not shown as a flashback I hope they’re at least mentioned, and I mean REALLY mentioned
4. Caitvi FUCKING… hard.
5. Viktor and Jayce break up scene. I don't even fuck with yaoi, I don't care for it, I wouldn't even say that I ship these two but HOLY FUCK are they so gay. This is PEAK doomed yaoi. I need to see Viktor break up with Jayce after he starts making hextech weapons and dickrides Mel harder and sloppier than before because she just almost died and he feels indebted to her
6. Caitlyn absolutely losing it. Everyone is talking about some “Caitlyn redemption arc” REDEMPTION FROM WHAT? At this point Caitlyn gets a free pass from EVERYTHING. The bitch BLEW UP HER MOM!!! I wanna see her go crazy, maybe give her some PTSD, have her hallucinate Jinx or some shit idrk I’m kind of on the toilet rn
7. I don’t think I’m gonna survive if Jinx doesn’t have a happy ending. Like I’m not even exaggerating I NEED HER TO BE OKAYYY!!! My prediction for the ending is that she’s gonna like turn a new leaf or whatever and end up leaving everything behind
8. Sevika backstory. Again, it might not be a flashback or anything like that but I think it's so interesting how she's been in every single act/90% of the episodes yet we know nothing about her. I also think there's a chance they're gonna kill her off SO I feel like they should give us more to work with, also the directors KNOW how to give side characters depth, we've seen it, so I just hope they think Sevika's worth it. But no like srsly I rlly think she's gonna die and I have so much evidence for it please... save me...
And last but CERTAINLY not least I wish to see Caitlyn face flushed, hair messy, body sweaty, titties out, laying on her silky bed sheets looking straight into the camera (and whispering my name but like that part's optional), thank you. ( ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ )
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your-unfriendlyghost · 2 months ago
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I have two things to ask:
1.-Can we be friends?
2.-Do you have any Outsiders headcanons (or any that you haven't submitted yet)?
I mean sure?? Idk who you are since you’re on anon, so not REALLY, but I’m always down to talk!
2. Yeah lol- tons. Too many. Here’s a few (okay like 25 oops) off the top of my head lol, some serious/angsty and some lighthearted/kinda stupid without any real order. (Lotta ‘em are about Steve tbh -there’s so little to him in canon that I have the freedom to hc pretty much whatever I want)
Steve Randle’s nearsighted and has no idea, which is why he’s literally always squinting. (I’ve had that one for like months but only recently mentioned it on here lol.) Steve thinks his vision is completely normal
Dally and Sylvia genuinely cared for each other, but they were both so horrible at having healthy emotions that they just made each other worse. In a bad way, not a fun way.
When Steve gets kicked out, sometimes he hangs with Johnny in the lot. They don’t really talk about anything important like their shared experiences of having lousy parents. Instead they talk about cars, girls, music, school…lighthearted stuff. Sometimes Johnny will find Steve crying, which he never mentions- he’ll just sit down as per usual, which Steve appreciates. Steve almost never finds Johnny crying though. Johnny doesn’t cry much.
Okay tangent- I love how Steve and Johnny are low-key foils. Like Steve always seems tough but then cries when pushed to his limit, while Johnny always seems skittish until he’s under a bunch of pressure- in which case he suddenly is confident. (Not necessarily thriving obviously, but confident yk? Like grinning while saving those kids in the fire.) I know SE Hinton probably didn’t intend that at all, but it’s just such an interesting detail to me. One of these days I’ll put it into words better
Johnny’s jeans-jacket is a hand-me-down from either Steve or Two-Bit. (I can’t decide which lol) (obviously Dally would make sense too, but honestly I think it’d add more depth to flesh out Johnny’s relationships with the other members of the gang)
After the events of the book, Two-Bit starts hanging around the Curtis’s place even more. At first the gang assumes he’s trying to lighten the mood. It’s only after he gets sent to the cooler for a month due to drunk driving that they realize he was actually hanging around so much because he was trying to keep his kid sister from seeing him so drunk…
Two-Bit likes to joke that he keeps failing junior year so that him and his sister can graduate together. Which is a very bad idea since his sister is a year younger than Ponyboy.
Sodapop often feels like he’s only good for looking pretty and not all that useful or interesting otherwise. He likes himself, but when he stops to think about it too much, he starts to wonder if he really has anything going for him at all
My H/C for Steve’s home life is that his Mom is sick w/ like cancer or something. Before she got sick, Steve’s life was pretty alright for an eastsider- he and his dad fought, but they always made up for the most part. They weren’t perfect, but they loved each other. But after she got sick, she wasn’t there to mediate between Steve and his Dad anymore, and the fighting got worse and worse. And then Steve’s dad started drinking more and it was pretty downhill from there. Steve’s Dad still loves him, but sometimes Steve wishes that he didn’t. If he didn’t, then he could hate him. But his dad does love him, so he can’t get himself to.
Steve and Dally taught Johnny to drive when they were all like fourteen-fifteen-ish. Johnny is a very reckless driver. He loves speeding.
Johnny also loves fast roller coasters and stuff.
Dally doesn't ‘cuz he’s low-key scared of heights- he likes riding broncos and rodeos, but put him at the top of a roller coaster and he’s convinced that it’s gonna break and he’s gonna die. He pretends he doesn’t mind. The only people who know he’s scared of them are Johnny, and before she died, Mrs. Curtis.
Steve has a napoleon complex. Johnny, who is shorter than him by a few inches, likes to bully him for it sometimes
Ponyboy and Cherry don’t interact much in the school year after the book, but in the summer after, they start to hang out. Eventually they become pretty close. They fangirl over Paul Newman together
Ponyboy still doesn’t let Cherry read his theme though until years later
Marcia and Two-Bit re-meet a few months after the book. (Two-Bit is really scared that she’s embarrassed to be dating him, and Marcia is really scared that he’s embarrassed to be dating her. Neither of them are embarrassed. They both adore each other.)
Two-Bit likes to watch Marcia barrel racing. One time while he’s there, he runs into Ponyboy watching Cherry barrel race and immediately tells everyone much to Pony’s chagrin
Evie knows a little bit about cars, and she sometimes helps out at the DX during summers. Steve is so whipped for her lol (and Soda too Steve has two hands)
Evie and Sylvia are besties, but Steve and Sylvia hate each other. They act civil in front of Evie, but as soon as her back is turned they’re growling at each other like dogs. (Well Steve is. Sylvia just acts condescending as hell. Sometimes it goes over his head, so Steve knows she’s insulting him but isn’t sure what the insult is/means. Which makes Steve kinda want to kill her.)
Steve and Soda are low-key co-dependent. (Steve more so- Soda has his family at least, while to Steve, Soda and Evie are his whole world pretty much) It’s probably not super healthy, and both of them are vaguely aware of that, but are trying not to think about it too hard rn
Ponyboy’s friend group in high school consists of Curly Shepard, Mark Jennings, Scout Jenkins (from the tv show), and eventually, in her senior year, Cherry Valance. (There’s others too but those are the main ones.)
Pony dates Cathy Carlson for a while too, idk if they’re good for each other or not- I kinda like the idea of them being a sweet couple tbh, but no one else on here seems to care about them so I haven’t really explored the idea much lol
In a Dally lives au, Mark Jennings and Dally end up spending a bit of time together through Pony, and at some point they realize that they’re half-brothers lol. Mark is a deeply obnoxious little brother to have, and he drives Dally nuts on purpose. Weirdly I think Dally’s a relatively good influence on him, as much as someone like Dally can be. And Dally does care for Mark, though not as much as he cares for Johnny- Mark is, in his head, not exactly his responsibility.
Well I have (so many) more, but I think that’s enough for now lol. Point is, even though I haven’t drawn in a minute, I love these characters and their romanticized version of 1960s Tulsa so much and I think about them way too often lol
(dw once i get more into the swing of school I’ll be doin more art!)
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