#I don’t expect this one to get attention I’ve just had a shitty day and wanted to be self indulgent lol

[snailvibes]

Evening chat I give you my list of some of my autistic Max Caulfield related headcanons except a lot ended up being pricefield related oops (does include spoilers)

Remember these are all HEADCANONS and me just being silly and having fun projecting on my fav lol

- that grey jacket she’s always wearing? That’s her comfort clothing item why do you think she’s still got it in double exposure

- even ever since she was really young Max has always been a picky eater bc of dealing with food textures and generally not liking a lot of things. Chloe always tried to make sure her mom bought things that Max liked so she could always have stuff to give her no matter what

- Max doesn’t really know how to like. Enter group discussions, it’s a lot easier for her to talk to people if it’s either one on one and with someone she’s familiar or comfortable with, she knows what she’s gonna say to someone before going in (like “I’m going to go up to Kate and check in on her” or “I’m going to go up to Brooke and ask about her drone”), or it’s someone talking to her and asking her questions, so when it’s people just generally chatting in a group she usually gets left out cus she doesn’t know how to jump in

- loud noises usually overstimulate her (vortex club party was hell) and growing up one of the more common times that occurred was when it stormed outside :) [which still held true throughout the game :))] post sacrifice Arcadia Bay ending she just kinda completely shut down in Chloe’s truck for a long while through a mix of it and the emotions from everything

- aside from Chloe, Kate was the first person Max found who actively listened to and engaged in her infodumping. During their first few tea hangout sessions she’d find herself accidentally going on about photography and stop herself, and every time Kate would encourage her to keep going cus she enjoyed hearing about it (ultimate Loves to yap + loves to listen duo)

- a lot of the time when Max shuts down she ends up going nonverbal for long periods of time and Chloe is the only one who can translate what she’s trying to communicate lmao. Everyone else, while they mean well, tend to just get confused so if she’s like with Kate or Warren when it happens they’ll just be like “shit time to track down Chloe”

- Chloe’s hair is one of her favorite things to mess with and play with cus she loves the sensation of running her hands through it, so when she’s overwhelmed Chloe will just take off her beanie and let Max run her hands through her hair for as long as she needs

- The Captain is her comfort plush which is why she brought him with her to Arcadia Bay. Usually she carries him around with her as much as she can but she didn’t wanna get made fun of for it at Blackwell so she started keeping him in her dorm. Post Sacrifice Arcadia Bay, she drags Chloe back to Blackwell before they leave so she can retrieve him from the rubble and starts carrying him with her everywhere again. Post Sacrifice Chloe she just starts carrying him with her everywhere at School without really worrying about what people will think, and everyone just doesn’t say anything cus they can tell she needs it.

- Max relies on music a LOT to block out the world when everything is too much. Chloe knows this and when she’s not using her earbuds to do it alone, will always offer to sit quietly and listen with her if she wants

- Warren Graham I know what you are /ref him and Max infodump about nerdy movies together almost every chance they get and sometimes they have to be pried apart in the halls to get them to go to class bc they will go on for hours if left alone to

- going back to that “Max struggles with conversation in groups” point, if said convos are happening in the photography classroom whether it’s a “class discuss this” moment or a group project, Kate will always try her best to get Max included in ways that work for her like asking for her thoughts or just pulling herself away from the group to chat with Max one on one

- girlie needs very specific instructions for things because otherwise she will overthink what to do and get confused and this has screwed her over with so many class assignments but I think she’d get help from Kate in that regard because she’s the only one she’s not anxious about asking if she knows what someone meant by something

[solarwynd]

There is no denying members like each other and are close to each other... But there are still these things they do that come off as rude there's no other way to see it. I already had a bitter feeling with "I did some lyrics" And "everyone is winning" comment right when jimin won something. But this time it's like there is no hiding for these ppl. I am side eyeing jin too at this moment. What's even more insane is that if rm really wanted to show how disappointed he is with the fandom that he didn't get billboard entry, he should have posted this when JK's never let go , a fan song debuted in hot 100 and not well promoted rm songs, but he decided to do it when jimin started breaking records. It's the same for seven release too, he had all good things to say about 7 when it was breaking records but "everyone is winning these days" when jimin won a music show. It's like when JK achieves something, it's inevitable and that's bound to happen, no questioning, but when it's jimin, starts guilt tripping the fandom lol. The translation tweets quotes are full of pity party as if armys don't usually do it whenever jimin songs do good, now members started adding fire to it.

“He did it on purpose, that man is active on every social network, he practically watches over them, it's obvious he knows what he can cause with his words, now I see how many are streaming out of pity, this harms him more than Jimin in my opinion. I don't think RM is bad, but he does feel envious of Jimin's achievements, I saw some asking why he doesn't do it when JK uploads something, but come on, what JK does is dirty unlike Jimin and that surely bothers him. I thought he was smarter, after all that Jimin did for him, he listens to him with the purest intentions and he pays him like this.” - #2 anon

I distinctinly remember him doing a live last year saying that he thought what JK was doing with his career was great (and this was after 7 dropped) Then again I don’t expect him to go on a rant condemning JK about the fraudulent activities surrounding his charting out loud so 🤷🏾‍♀️

But it is interesting how some of the members, armys and BH all have the same “chosen” view towards JK.

With him obviously going to Bang and demanding better promo and radio for RPWP, I’d say he just wants a chance at substantial commercial success and has blinders on for it. So Bang and Scooter gave him crumbs and he took it. And that’s why I don’t really think he cares about what’s “dirty” from what’s not or that he prizes Jimin’s means of success over JK’s. (Not that simple radio is in anyway dirty.) Now knowing that the image itself is from last year but he chose to post it now has me looking at him even more sideways though. Because he has consistently been online and the one time he posts during Jimin’s release is to moan about charting again. I don’t like that. And I’ve always said he’s justified in wanting his work to do well just like any other artist would, but again the timing was shitty. Cause armys are just using this to further their ��Jimin is privileged” belief and to divert attention from his comeback to other members out of guilt and pity.

And the timing still would’ve been in bad taste had he done this post when NLG debuted on hot 100 though. Openly showing bitterness towards your team mates success like that especially when you’re the leader of the group would not be a good look at all.

Like OG anon there is love there and history, but with BTS there is such a frustrating lack of support and tact when it comes to certain things especially towards Jimin. It would take absolutely nothing out of any of them to write a simple “all the best” or w/e on weverse or a hype post on insta, but nothing. Even Jin gave the most indirect acknowledgment of MUSE with nothing else to follow. The only one who had any real type of well wishes was Hobi. And no one can tell me that Jimin asked them not to make a fuss cause he’s the type of person who loves praise and thoughtfulness from other people. It’s not about getting the validation either, like at bare minimum y’all are teammates. So the way the bulk of them act towards him just irks me.

[bokutos-biddys]

Do a part 2 of I’ve got a race to win! PLS it’s so good like give us the smut 😩😩

Ummmmmmmm so no smut(sorry to disappoint) but I don’t write that but heres a part two nonetheless

Also I honestly didn’t expect part one to get so much attention

This is about Xaiver and NOT Percy Hynes-White

-Victory-

Xavier Thorpe X Reader

Part One

Ummmmmm yeah. Typical relationship problems sequel. Slight angst(maybe, not really) ahead. Happy ending because I can’t write one that isn’t annnnnnd Xaiver’s a little bit of a whiney bitch in this (that boy has some abandonment issues and maybe some other things, depressed ass) This is also kinda shitty because i honestly didn’t know how to expand on part one

——— ———

Oh god you fucked up. How you fucked up, you aren’t quite sure.

After the Poe cup you tried to get back to Xavier, but you just got caught up in everyone. Your team decided to have a mini celebration in your dorm and whenever you tried to leave, someone pulled you back.

You didn’t think too much of it, Xavier was your best friend(? Boyfriend? You don't really know) you could talk to him tomorrow.

But, as it seems, he did not want to talk to you.

You tried, you tried a ton. Every class you had with him you made a point to sit next to him and try to get his attention. You passed notes, made quiet quips to him about the lessons, tried to follow him to classes you didn’t even have.

He was ignoring you. It was very plain to see. Maybe if you had found him immediately after the cup. Maybe if you talked to him more insistently. Maybe if you hadn’t kissed him at all. You could have been misreading the signals, there might not have been any to begin with. And now you have fucked up and you don’t even really know what your fuck up is.

“I don’t see why you can’t just speak with him.” Wednesday says, watching you pathetically lay face down on Enid’s bed. “He’s ignoring them though.” Enid replies, sitting down next to you.

“I don't see why you can’t use force. Or let me drain him of his blood, that would put an end to this exhausting situation and let me have quiet writing time.” She snips out, pushing the keys on her typewriter a bit too forcefully.

“I’m not as intimidating as you. He’d see through any intimidating facade I put on.” You put a mocking tone on intimidating, knowing Xaiver would probably laugh in your face if you tried to be forceful with him.

He didn’t laugh when you were nipping at his neck in the forest

You groan at your thoughts, who even knows if he actually enjoyed that. Could have been faking to stall you. Which, in hindsight, doesn’t really make sense considering all it did was stall him.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your thoughts.

“Why is our room the one everyone decides to congregate in?” Wednesday asks annoyed, getting up to angrily open the door.

You jolt upright at Xavier’s voice.

“Wednesday, I really need to talk to you.” He said, not yet noticing you. She groans in response before stalking over to you.

Xaiver looks… honestly as bad as you felt, despite that you can’t help find his undone look incredibly attractive. Even though he looks ready to bolt as soon as he sees you.

Wednesday grabs your hand, forcefully pulling you up and dragging you towards the door.

“I believe you need to speak with them.” She replies by pushing you out the door.

You both stand there silently for a very long time.

You don’t really know what he’s waiting for. You’ve tried talking to him and all he does is push you away. The sigh that comes out of you when you realize he’s waiting for you is quite pitiful if you’re being honest.

You start to walk away, not letting him have the satisfaction of you asking what’s wrong again.

“Wait! Please… we really should talk.” He says after grabbing your arm. He puts on a joking tone, as if you’d laugh after all your dropped jokes from today.

“I don’t see why you want to talk now. After I’ve been trying all day.” You quip back, thoroughly exhausted with him.

“I know… I shouldn't have ignored you. I just… can we not do this in front of Enid’s room where you know she’s listening? Please?” He trails off, placing a pointed stare at the door behind you.

“Fine.” You sigh out, removing your hand from his grip and walking swiftly down the hallway. He catches up with you easily. Damn those long legs.

The walk to your dorm is awkward. So very awkward. The both of you used to be able to fill any silence with banter, gossip, or nothing at all, not caring what filled the silence, just that you were spending time with one another.

Then you went and screwed it all up.

Or he did.

Or you both did.

You honestly don’t know.

When you open the door you both walk quickly in, letting him shut it before leaning back.

“Look, I… I’m sorry for ignoring you. It was uncalled for.” He gets out, he’s never really been good at apologies.

“I don’t care that you were ignoring me, okay I care but I just want to know the reason. What did I do that made you so pissed?” You ask, placing your hands on your hips.

He looks utterly astonished that you don’t know, not taking into consideration that he didn’t tell you.

“Excuse me? You used me! You kissed me when you knew I liked you to win the stupid trophy and didn’t even care enough to spare me a glance after you did.” He answers, which only makes you more confused.

“First of all you kissed me, not the other way around! And secondly, how could I have used your feelings if I didn’t even know you had them! And third of all! I tried to talk to you and you blew me off!” You reply, stalking closer to him.

“How could you not have! I made it so incredibly obvious! Everyone knew! They constantly joked about how whipped I am in front of you!” He says, exasperatedly, running his hands through his hair.

“Well I didn’t! And now you decide to ignore me because I couldn’t get back to you immediately after I won! I wanted to! If that makes you feel better. Except you’re so good at ignoring me and not just fucking communicating like a rational person, that that wouldn’t have mattered! Ya’ know sometimes I think- “ it doesn’t really matter what you think when Xavier pulls you head forward to meet your lips with his.

While this is most certainly not a solution to the problem at hand you can’t deny it’s a very good distraction. Xavier’s hands land on your cheeks, making sure you don’t stray too far from him in your attempts for breath, while yours are clutched at his shirt, just as desperate to keep him close to you.

God, it’s lovely, hot breaths mingled in between long drawn out kisses and Xaivers short groans whenever you decide to nip at his lips.

Reluctantly(very reluctantly) you pull away from him.

“This isn’t exactly communicating.” You whisper out, looking at Xaivers flushed face.

“You’re not getting the message?” He says, trailing one of his hands down to rest on your hip. “I love you, have for longer than I’d like to admit.”

“Thankfully, don’t know what I’d do if I had to go back to pretending that you don’t drive me crazy.” You confess, quivering as his thumb swipes over your lips.

“I might need to make it a little clearer though.” He suggests with a devious glint in his eyes.

“Maybe… “ you breathe out, your eyelids already sliding shut.

Once his lips are on yours for a third time in the past 24 hours, you don’t think you could ever remember when victory tasted as sweet.

[garbinge]

Soft Spot

Carmy Berzatto & Platonic!Reader Richie Jerimovich x Reader (Platonic here but pining) Mikey Berzatto & Platonic!Reader

Day 13 from these April Prompts: “I have a soft spot for plants.” 

Summary: Reader gets back home from visiting Carmy in NYC after fleeing her abusive ex. After feeling trauma and just empty and lost, she goes back to The Original Beef. A place that has some of her favorite people, the place she least expected to bring her comfort in the middle of darkness. 

Continuation from this fic. You don’t have to read to understand this but it helps build the character dynamics out!

A/N: This is one of my favorite little universe’s I’ve created in a while.   

Word Count: 3.0k words

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Angst. Mentions of abuse and bruises. Angst. Threats. Trauma. Death. Guns. 

The Bear Taglist: @drabbles-mc​ @justreblogginfics​ 

Other fics from this universe

Standing outside The Beef in the middle of a Chicago winter brought back a similar memory to you standing outside The French Laundry. Cold. In more ways than one. Physically, sure. Winter months in both states were brutally freezing. But after everything you had just been through, it felt emotionally cold. You had wondered how you could get back to how things used to be when everything was different now. You thought it would be easy, that’s why you went to New York. But Carmy was different. It could’ve been the day he was having, or days, but coming straight off a flight from fleeing your ex’s house in a less than ideal state was making it foggy for you to see that. 

Carmy offered you a smile and a wave, his hug was half assed, one armed and less than a couple seconds. He did seem somewhat excited to see you, though, that healed you a bit. Overall, he was out of it, for someone who was so attentive to detail he was missing every cry for help you were letting out. Now, to be fair, you didn’t exactly come out and say it. You were struggling, but you weren’t stupid. Carmy flipped a switch. As you sat across from each other at 3AM in some shitty cafe after his kitchen shift at Noma sipping the shitty coffee you saw it in his eyes before he said anything. You asked about home, he mentioned something along the lines of not knowing much and not caring much. 

He noticed the bruise on your arm when you took your coat off. There was concern there, but you lied. It wasn’t your initial plan. Originally, you had planned to go out with him, hit the big apple together like you used to terrorize Chicago. If you had written down an itinerary it would have been something like 1. get drunk 2. Find some place that served alcohol into the early morning 3. Get more drunk 4. Have Carmy show you the best cheap food near his place. 5. Drink shitty coffee to attempt to sober up before the sun rose 6. Tell him about what happened. 

Only one of those things happened. And it was half assed. There was no alcohol in your system, so the shitty coffee was extra shitty. It made Carmy asking about the bruise even more painful. You don’t even remember the lie you told him, but you remember he believed it with no questions. That might’ve hurt the most. Not because you wanted him to care or because you needed him to handle it for you but because you saw how disconnected from it all he was. 

That leads you to feel frozen in front of The Beef, 3 days and two flights later. There was a worry that you would be met with the same distance that Carmy met you with earlier this week. If that was the case, you’d push ahead but you couldn’t help but think it’d change something in you permanently. 

You walked in, the intensity of the kitchen hit you immediately, it brought some sort of life to you, chippering you up a bit. 

“What d’ya got?” Richie’s voice was like music to your ears. His head was down as he wrote on the guest check. 

“One beef, hot and sweet, extra sauce. And a cup of your shitty cappuccino, please. 4 extra shots of espresso.” You waited with your hands in your coat pocket, a smile on your face knowing Richie would recognize that.

His head lifted up, his eyes meeting yours. It was that moment that you felt the most nervous. This was the moment that was gonna define how you handled everything moving forward. The pit in your stomach disappeared as the smile grew on his face. 

“One shitty cappuccino, 4 extra shots!” Richie yelled out, still not taking his eyes off you. 

The announcement of your order brought someone through the kitchen door quicker than you could imagine. 

“Tell me that’s not our girl!” Mikey’s voice was loud and exhilarated. If his smile wasn’t bringing out the best parts of your personality, the eagerness in his walk to embrace you was. He was in front of you, arms wide in seconds. His navy blue beef t-shirt smelled like giardiniera, meat, garlic, and week old cologne but it might have been the best thing you’ve ever smelled. It smelt like home. Your body collapsed into his hug, his arms wrapping around you like they were pulling you out from drowning in rapid waters. 

He picked up on it immediately, he tightened his grip on you a little more and placed a light kiss to the top of your head to offer you some sort of comfort. “What’s up, kid?” 

“It’s just really good to be home.” Your head moved in a nod as he cradled it. Mikey was like your own big brother, you had known him since you were 7, you spent a majority of your life at the Berzatto house. He teased you, he yelled at you, he stood up for you, he took you and Carmy to school, he got you both a shared graduation gift, he was a big part of your life. 

After a few seconds, you let go of him, careful to wipe your couple stray tears in a way that was inconspicuous to everyone around. 

“What the fuck are you doin’ back home?” Richie’s voice cut through as he moved to greet you. His cheek moved against yours as he kissed the air, the italian kiss was his go-to welcome, the irony in the fact that he had no drop of italian blood in him. 

“Things just–” you paused thinking of what it is you wanted to say. Even with all the nerves you had built up to just enter the restaurant there wasn’t a single second you spent thinking about what you planned to say. “They, uh–” Your head shook in protest of the sentence you were going to say. “I think I’m gonna be home for a while.” You nodded, finally agreeing with yourself on what to say. “Things just didn’t work out in Minneapolis.” 

“Well, yea, it’s fuckin’ Minneapolis.” Mikey quickly jumped in to save you from whatever the fuck was going on in your head. He wasn’t going to ask you, or pry it out of you. He knew you were an open book and when or if you were ready you’d talk about whatever you wanted. 

Your eyes closed as you laughed, finally letting yourself relax and just be back. 

“You’re tellin’ me, the town population was so fuckin’ small they had no town drunk so I made it my goal to fill that position.” 

The both of them laughed at your joke, “no, but seriously my bowling score is fucking immaculate.” 

Mikey threw his arm over you and brought you over to the counter and tapped on the stool for you to sit. “Ibra! One beef, hot and sweet, drench that shit!” His voice carried through the entire restaurant and kitchen. 

“On it, Mikey!” Ibra walked by the service hatch and yelled your name at the same octave. That’s when you heard Tina’s voice and then soon after her face popped up in the service hatch, followed by Gary, and the entire kitchen, everyone of them thrilled to see you after months away. 

“Bowling score?” Richie frowned as he placed a cup of black coffee in front of you. “I’m not making you that fancy Starbucks shit.” 

A scoff left your mouth as you sipped the black coffee. A face of approval came across your face as you sipped it. “Not bad.” Your eyebrows raised. “And yea, bowling score, it was the only thing to do out there. I’m surprised the population isn’t stupid high because besides bowling the only other option for entertainment is fuckin’.” 

Richie looked like he was waiting for you to finish your sentence, like you were using fuckin’ as a descriptor verse a verb. 

“No Richie, she means intercourse.” Mikey teased as he hopped up on the counter. 

“Sexual relations.” You added another equivalent of the word. 

“Mating!” Mikey pointed at you with the pen he normally kept behind his ear, hype that he had thought of another one. 

Your mouth moved from side to side as you thought quickly to respond back, like it was a new game between the two of you to play. “Oh! Oh!” The stool rattled as you jumped up and down eager to share your word. “Looooovemaaaaakingggg” You enunciated each syllable in the word, rolling your body to mock it even more. 

“Fornication.” Mikey smirked like a teenage boy as his head nodded in approval of the word. 

“Alright, I get it, fuck you.” Richie grabbed your coffee mug and finished off the black liquid in a way to get back at you. 

“Fuck you or like fuuuucccckkkkk you?” Your body rolled again to mock the man. It was hard to hold your laugh in, and the minute Mikey let out a hyena howl at your mockery you burst into the same giggles. 

“You two are children.” He was retreating back to the kitchen, an excuse to stop getting teased but also to grab your food. 

“Hey, I gotta go.” Mikey looked at the clock and jumped down from the counter. He grabbed his jacket that was hanging on the coat rack in the seated part of the restaurant. “You think you could do me a favor?” He stopped for a minute in front of you, jacket half on, like he had just remembered something. “Sugar brought this stupid fuckin’ plant over here for good luck or some shit a while ago, I don’t know. I barely water it, and I was thinkin’” He moved to the window and grabbed the plant with one hand, placing it on the counter before his hands grabbed the corners as he leaned on it. “I was thinkin’ maybe you could take it home.” 

You stared at the plant and then back at Mikey. He knew you were about to argue it. 

“Hey” His hands lifted up. “Just passin’ the fuckin’ luck around.” He placed a kiss on top of your head, similar to the one he greeted you with. “Alright, I’m outtie, but relax, stay here as long as you want, eat whatever you want, hang in the back, hang in the front,” Mikey waved his hand around before bringing it down to grip yours as they rested on the countertop. “I’m serious. You’re home here.” 

“Thanks Mikey.” You nodded, he offered your hand one more squeeze before yelling out his goodbyes and leaving. 

“Here.” Richie slide the foiled wrapped sandwich in front of you. “I had Ibra put french fries on the sandwich cause I know that’s how you like to eat that shit.” Richie was making himself busy with the soda machine, his way of trying to be nonchalant with you. 

Your lips curled slightly in gratitude. “Thanks Richie.” Standing up, you grabbed the plant in one hand, and sandwich in the other and turned to leave. Just 15 minutes here had brought you the comfort you needed. 

And in seconds it was completely gone. 

Frozen. Your feet were stuck, unable to move. The cold air from the open door hit your face and instead of knocking you out of whatever was happening, it just solidified it more. 

“Hey.” His voice was cold but his breath was hot and the fact you could feel it meant he was too close in proximity to you. “Figured you’d come home. Thought I’d drop by to see how you were since you left so suddenly.” 

Your ex being inside The Beef was the last thing you’d expected, but then you felt your reaction to it and that was actually more surprising. Back in Minneanapolis, where you had moved in with him 6 months ago, your responses were the opposite. Never holding out, you yelled, fought back, and then left.

No response. The feeling was comparable to feeling like a kid again, wishing you could just shut your eyes and disappear into a fantasy world. But when you reopened your eyes he was still there. 

“Man, whatever.” He rolled his eyes and as he did so they landed on the two items in your hand. He slammed them both out of your grip, the sound of the foil splattering on the ground happened first, shortly followed by the sound of the planter shattering. You looked down at the mess that unfolded at your feet. The dirt from the greenery buried them but they might as well have been planted into the cement. You caught a look at your hands which were shaking, this wasn’t you. You weren’t scared. You didn’t feel like this. You grew up alone, in Chicago. That should have been scary. Not this. 

“You’re gonna get the fuck outta my restaurant.” Richie was suddenly to your right and slightly in front of you. “I’m not gonna count to 5 like we’re in fuckin elementary school.” This was when you realized he had a gun in his hand. “You’re either gonna get the fuck out or I’m gonna shoot you in your nuts.” He turned his head and his gun when he said that. “It’s your choice, motherfucker. I’m the one with 6 witnesses to testify that you came in here and threatened one of my customers.” 

With a quick glance over your shoulder, you saw the entire kitchen staring through the serving hatch, your stare moved back to Richie, it was a shock that your eyes hadn’t fallen out of your head with how wide they were, but you were grateful because your hands were still shaking and the practicality of all of that was not ideal. The insanity that in this moment, that was the thought in your head currently. The practicality of your eyes falling out of your head. It was a good distraction, thinking about how you’d have to clean them from the dirt, letting your mind take you on this wild ride for what was likely less than a second before you were back in the real time moment in front of you. 

Your ex was moving backwards with his hands up, his steps too nonchalant for your liking but at least he was listening to Richie. He puckered up his lips as he reached the door, throwing you a smooch and a nod. Besides that it was so silent in the restaurant which is why it became immediately known that Richie had pulled the hammer back on the gun, loading the chamber with the bullet. 

In the next second, he was gone. The feeling in your feet came back almost right away and the feeling of being cold was whisked away by feeling intensely hot. You ripped your jacket off and threw it on the stool and bent down in a frantic attempt to clean up the mess. 

“Go back to your shit! We’re all good!” Richie called back to the kitchen before squatting down to help you clean. 

“Ay, ay, it’s okay.” Richie tried his best to calm you down. His towel was now in your hands as you gathered the dirt into a more concise pile ignoring his comments. His hand gripping yours felt like a jolt of lightning to your head. 

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me!” The grip he had on you was so light which made you yanking your arm back easy and super over exaggerated. 

“Woah,” Richie showed surrender as his eyebrows moved up in shock rather than in a frown. You fell into a sitting position on the floor, having your arms catch the tiny fall which is when Richie saw it. 

The bruise was a little less than a week old and it was a large dark purple splotch with yellow edges as it began to heal. The discolored mark on your skin was burning as Richie stared at it, his thoughts going through the process of understanding pretty much everything. Why you left Minneapolis, who that guy was, what he was doing.

“Did he fuckin’ do that to you?” He asked in a whisper. It was probably the quietest she had ever heard Richie speak. There was also a little grumble in his tone, maybe it was instinctual, maybe it was pure anger just boiling up inside of him. 

“Richie.” You said his name like it was a full sentence. There was so much being said with one word. If he didn’t get the point then, he did after the next word out of your mouth. “Please.” 

He nodded, taking a second before he stood up and was out of your eyesight. You assumed he went to blow off steam, maybe he didn’t listen to you at all and went after the guy, but within seconds, he was back in front of you, holding you a hand broom and more towels. 

He tossed you the towels as he swept up the dirt. Both of you cleaned in silence, throwing out the pieces of broken ceramic. At one point, Richie had thrown the ‘lucky’ plant into a to-go container, letting it sit next to you both as you cleaned. 

“Thanks.” You offered up another one word delivery. Richie paused his movements of mopping the floor with the cloth to look at you. “You know, for pointing the gun and everything.” His stare at you was like he had no idea what you were talking about. “For scaring the dickhead away with the gun, Richie. Thank you.” You repeated in a more obvious manner. 

“Oh yea, well,” There was a brief delay in his words, he was trying to think of what to say, his eyes were no longer on you and he was looking around the floor like he was going to find the answer there. Which ironically, he did. The lucky plant sat straight up in the tall clear to go container as Richie’s eyes fixated on it. 

“What can I say? I have a soft spot for plants.” 

[leviathanspain]

if we died tonight, i would die yours

bill weasley x reader

synopsis: the war gives you clarity

���━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

perhaps you shouldn’t have come. 

but how were you to tell one of the most important figures in the wizarding world that you couldn’t help him fight off lord voldemort?

you, like many others from the order, had been aware of the news that he was back. you had paid closer attention to the newspapers, after having avoided them for years. but now, it seemed like many of the people you knew were in danger, so you knew you had to return home.

but there was more carnage than you had expected. more and more of your fellow classmates and friends were dying, and you were helpless.

you were caught under a crumbling building, having been chased by a group of death eaters just moments before, it seemed like death desired you.

you screamed, feeling a powerful blast hit you, tossing you aside to some crumbled stone.

black spotted your vision, and you blinked, trying to get some sense of what was happening. you blinked again, and realized that the horrifying mask of a death eater was before you. the tip of their wand was pointed at you as well, ready to cast a spell.

you bit back a scream and blinked, head throbbing with the pressure. your vision was still spotty, but what you could see had cleared up.

you looked up at them, eyes narrowed, “do it.” you egged them on, and pushed yourself more into the wand tip, “kill me!” you screamed, anguish from your defeat powered your voice

the death eater didn’t even flinch at your words. they remained with their wand pointing right at you.

if this was how you died, then you would go down fighting.

“expelliarmus!” a shout brought you out of your final thoughts. someone had saved you, from a swift murder. you opened your eyes, and realized that he had saved you.

he struck out, wand pointing at the attacker, but from what you could see, the death eater had vaporized, refusing to fight.

“coward!” you screamed, watching as the black vapor disappeared.

you couldn’t see much as more black spots clouded your vision. all you could see before you lost consciousness was a red shock of hair.

there had been many things bill had wanted to say. he had tried to speak, to his family, to the doctors and nurses surrounding you. but his speech had faltered, and he had reserved himself to a chair in the corner.

it wasn’t until his brother was found dead that bill had left your bedside. he wouldn’t admit that he hesitated to leave, but he knew you wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t.

it had been weeks and you still hadn’t woken up. most of the funerals for the fallen had passed, many had returned to a life of slight normalcy. but bill didn’t.

his hair had grown longer than he’s ever had it, curls just brushing his shoulders. he had grown a beard as well, the idea of shaving hadn’t occurred at all.

his family had begged him to sleep, to eat and to come back to society. they had reiterated what the doctors had said, that nothing in the magical world could bring you back.

they had said that you were nothing, an empty vessel being kept on ice.

but bill had refused that, and rejected any attempts to change his mind.

his family couldn’t know why he was doing this, or else they’d see him as nothing but a monster.

he hadn’t stopped loving you, after all this time he didn’t want to leave you, even in life, and even in death.

there was nothing he felt more than regret. he had known that after that night, you would never forgive him. you swore you wouldn’t forgive him for a lot of things, for he was a good man, and you made sure he stayed it.

yet that night, he had broken his promises.

“if you don’t want me here, just say it!” you snapped, throwing the pillow right at him, “i’ve tried, time and time again to get you to fucking talk to me. like we used to, how couples are supposed to do! yet all you do, is stay in this shitty apartment and mope, all day long!” it was word vomit. all your anger and frustration had finally hit a point with bill, and you couldn’t stop it.

“those scars didn’t change who you are. you’re beautiful, william, you’ve always been and you always will be. i-“

“i dont.” his words rattled over yours and you stopped, blinking with surprise that he had even said anything.

“what?” you blinked, anger subsiding to confusion.

“i don’t want you here.” he admitted, circling back to your words.

you could smell the flowers first. you had smelled all of the flowers, as if the room had been filled to the brim with them.

and it was.

you opened your eyes and feasted upon the bright colors and arrangements of flowers, all circled around you.

groggily, you rubbed your eyes and tried to sit up, but there was a dull ache that stopped you. wincing, you clutched your side and remained on the bed. you sighed, trying to remember the last thing that happened.

and it hit you the moment you saw him.

there he was, practically being swallowed up by the sofa. he was sleeping, strands of his long ginger hair splayed out on his forehead.

he was beautiful.

“bill?” you called out, and watched as he responded to his name, waking up quickly.

you watched as your ex boyfriend rushed over to your bedside, leaning down to grab your hand and check your forehead.

you didn’t say anything as he fussed, calling for the doctor. you stayed silent, watching him move all about the room until he stopped, having noticed your gaze.

“what?” the question seemed playful, almost as if he expected you to be happy, but seeing him made you feel everything but.

“why are you here?” there was a furrow in your brows, and hurt in your voice. it hadn’t even been two months since he kicked you out, since you begged on your knees for him to take you back.

you swore on everything you had, your dignity, your self respect, that you’d never return to him.

yet here he was, shoving himself back into your life.

“wha-“ he scoffed, as if shocked by your question, “i saved you. im the one who fought off the death eater, im the one who brought you here- i-“ his voice was beginning to rise, and you blinked, being taken back to the many many arguments you’ve had.

“stop.” you held up a hand, and bill didn’t say anything. you sighed, collecting your words until you spoke.

“after what you said, why are you here? why did you save me?” you looked up at him, and gave him a challenging glare.

bill faltered, as if he too remembered his behavior towards you just a few months ago.

you couldn’t breathe between the utter panic you felt, and the uncontrollable sobs that shook your body. you had begged him not to make you go, that you loved him and wanted nothing more than to take care of him.

he had thrown you out, along with throwing many things at you.

“bill!” you begged, nails clawing at his door.

ever since his accident, he had so much anger, so much frustration that he took out on you.

“get out! get the hell out and never come back!” he howled, words rumbling the space around you.

you sniffled, hands clutching anxiously at the hospital blankets around you. bill didn’t say anything, not even after you brought up his last words.

he stayed silent, and you nodded, “that’s what i thought.” you cleared your throat, but you were hoarse. bill stared at the floor, and when he looked up, you realized he was crying.

you turned away, realizing that his tears would be your weakness, “just leave. hmm? there’s nothing here for you.” you assured.

bill began to walk slowly, inching towards the door, he only stopped momentarily, “you were dying, in my arms. and i thought-“

you looked at him expectantly and his eyes looked to the floor. “that i would die yours?” you finished for him, “that stopped the moment you broke my heart.”

and as bill weasley walked out, you realized you had lied.

you would always be his, but he was destructive, and you would only burn at his side.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Rainbow Sprinkles

A short, and hopefully cute and fluffy little fic for the very lovely, and beautiful @penguinsandpotterheads Happy Birthday Holly, I hope you have an amazing day, bestie!!!! <3

Word Count:923

Masterlist Eddie Munson Masterlist

You make your way into your home after a busy day at work just ready to sink into the arms of your boyfriend, perhaps order some take-out and watch a shitty movie that would ultimately end up getting ignored in favour of making out with said boyfriend, but as you tread into the home you shared with Eddie you come to realise those plans had been thrown out of the window.

Because there he is. In the kitchen, his hair bundled up on top of his head, with a few loose curls framing his, and a white apron tied around his body smeared with many different stains. 

You step quietly into the kitchen, trying not to draw attention to yourself.

“What’re you up to there?” you say, making your way over to him.

You watch as he jumps at the sound of your voice.

“You’re home early!” he babbles, looking over your shoulder at the clock on the wall.

“Yeah, they let me go early since it’s my birthday, which was nice of them.” you explain.

“Yeah I suppose that is nice of them, I just hadn’t expected you to be home so soon.” 

“You never answered my question.” you pry curiously. 

“Hm?”

“What are you up to?” you ask again as your eyes come to scan over the mess that litters the kitchen counter. There’s cracked eggs shells, an open bag of flour that is somehow dusting more of the counter than there is in the bowl which you gather that he intended it for. The large mixing bowl is filled with what looks like a deep, rich chocolate mixture.

“Oh that.” he chuckles. “I was kind of hoping to bake you a cake as a surprise but I quickly realised that I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

"No no, I think it looks alright." you say, as you mix the wooden spoon around in the mixture.

"Wayne gave me the recipe, so if it sucks it's totally his fault and not mine" he laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. 

"Well let's get it in the oven, and see what happens! Then we can decorate it together!" You smile, placing a kiss on your boyfriend's face.

You reach on to the counter to set the timer, whilst Eddie pours the cake mixture in a round baking tin and places it in the oven.

"I'm just going to set a timer for thirty minutes" You tell him.

"There's a lot you can do in thirty minutes." Eddie says suggestively, raising his eyebrows up.

You playfully slap him on his arm as you tug him away from the mess in the kitchen.

"Keep it in your pants until later, Loverboy." you flirtatiously chastise him.

“But it’s your birthday!”

Sure enough the timer in the kitchen dings, and you pull yourself away from Eddie’s hold as he places sweet kisses to your neck. 

As it turns out, snuggling on the couch, which turned into an inevitable makeout session you always knew it would, was an excellent way to spend your birthday.  

“Come on Teddy! The cake’s ready to come out of the oven!” you cheer as you tug him up from the seat with you, and practically skip to the kitchen.

“Here, let me get it out, I am the one with the apron after all.” he smirks, reaching for a dish towel.

 He opens up the oven door, the smell of delicious, warm chocolate wafts out as he brings the cake out and places it on the countertop.

“Not to be too cocky, but I reckon I’ve got this baking thing down to a fine art, Sweetheart.” he smiles, marvelling down at the perfectly risen sponge in the tin.

“Okay, Julia Child, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” You tease him lightly, which earns you an adorable giggle from your boyfriend.

“Now we just have to wait for it to cool down and then we can start decorating it!” Eddie cheers.

Eddie smears a thick layer of gooey, fudgy, chocolate frosting over the now cooled cake whilst you stand by with a tub of brightly coloured sprinkles in hand ready to scatter on top.

“She’s all yours, have at it, Picasso.” Eddie smiles as he stands back to allow you to recklessly sprinkle your cake with the decoration.

You finish decorating the cake, taking a step back to marvel at your creation.

“I think we make a good team, between your baking and my flair for abstract decorations.” 

“Yeah, we do. We make an excellent team.” Eddie agrees, pulling you into him with a one-armed side hug and a kiss pressed into the crown of your head.

“Y’know, I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my birthday.” You say as you snuggle against him, a slice of your cake on your plate and a fork in hand.

“Hm?” Eddie mumbles around a mouthful of cake, his own slice sitting on his plate, almost gone from him demolishing it as quickly as it had been served up.

“Yeah, just being here and spending time with you, has made me the happiest birthday girl in the world!” you beam, as you snuggle deeper into his warmth.

Eddie smiles, he’s so warmed by your admission, and his smile only grows when he thinks about the surprise party he’s organised for you this weekend. All your closest friends and loved ones, there just to celebrate you, and have a good time. 

“I love you so much, Sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Teddy.”

[miastideclock]

a year with bang chan, "may 30th."

word count: 1057 warnings: not edited, cursing notes: not sure that i love how this turned out, but we're getting there

january 2nd ⁺₊ february 14th ⁺₊ march 2nd ⁺₊ april 17th ⁺₊ may 30th ⁺₊ june 4th ⁺₊ july 14th ⁺₊ august 1st ⁺₊ september 12th ⁺₊ october 3rd ⁺₊ november 1st ⁺₊ december 31st

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

int. kitchen. late evening.

you found yourself standing in the kitchen, watching the glass in your hand slowly fill up, your other hand on the handle of the tap, ready to shut it off when you had acquired your desired amount of water. once the water reached a specific level, you cut the tap, letting silence wash over the room. you were home alone, so not a single sound could be heard.

the ticking of the clock seemed to be gone, as was the humming of the electricity in your appliances. the street outside had apparently been abandoned as there wasn’t as much as a cyclist rushing by. the silence left you with your thoughts, which recently hadn’t been the warmest.

you’d felt shitty all week, and you couldn’t seem to properly figure out why - not until now at least. you missed your boyfriend. the two of you hadn’t had time to yourself in weeks, and you had a theory that it took a toll on you.

the jingling of keys broke you out of thought, and you finally raised your glass to your lips to take a sip as you turned around, waiting for the love of your life to enter.

“hey bubba.” you greeted as he shuffled into the kitchen, a smile on his face as he saw you.

“hello, my love.” he replied as he placed his bag down on one of the kitchen chairs, then stepped over to you to give you a hug. you copied his actions by placing your glass down and meeting him in the middle, wrapping your arms around his neck as his snaked their way around your waist.

“how was your day?” you asked after you had properly greeted him with a kiss.

“hectic to say the least, but progress was definitely made, so i’m happy about it. how about yours? how’ve you been today?” he reciprocated your kiss and pulled away as he returned your question back to you. he made his way over to his bag and started roaming through it, presumably looking for his phone.

“actually..” you trailed off, instantly sending a signal to chan that what you were about to say wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as he had been. his attention turned to you within a millisecond, a slight frown on his face. ”oh, no don’t worry! it’s not something bad!” you quickly assured him, even though you weren’t sure if you were being a hundred percent truthful. his frown fluttered away, leaving him neutral and in anticipation of what you were to say next.

“i just,” you started, tilting your head slightly as you looked at him. “i’ve had this icky feeling lately, and i honestly think it’s because i miss you. we haven’t had time just to ourselves in a while.” you smiled almost sadly.

chan’s expression soon changed into one you didn’t expect; confusion. “what do you mean? we just had that date at the zoo?” he spoke, returning a portion of his focus back to his bag as he kept looking through it for something.

“chan, babe, that was well over six or seven weeks ago. and i know i’m being unfair, because it sounds like i’m trying to put the blame on you, when i am equally at fau-” you cut yourself off when you grew frustrated with your partner. “will you look at me when i’m talking to you?” your tone wasn’t angry or annoyed, but rather desperate as you begged him to pay attention to you.

your words seemed to work as he soon pushed his bag away, turning so he was fully facing you as you hopped up onto the counter, your palms placed securely against the edge of it.

“yeah, sorry.” he started, shaking his head gently as he too understood that it was rude of him to not be fully in the conversation when you were expressing your feelings. “i hear you, but you know just as well as me that we don’t have all that much spare time anymore.” he trailed off as he looked at you apologetically.

“i know, but i could take a day off work, you could do the same! and then we can-” you were yet again cut off, but this time it wasn’t by yourself. chan scoffed at your statement, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. “what was that about?”

he sighed before he spoke up, giving you the impression that he would rather be anywhere but having this conversation. “i can’t just take time off work like you can. not just anyone can cover for me.” he said, leaning back on the kitchen table behind him, his arms crossed loosely across his chest. you were quick to conceal the grimace you struck on instinct, but not quick enough for chan not to notice your furrowed brows and pained expression. his only reaction was to lift a brow to question you.

“yeah, i know our jobs aren’t on the same level at all, that is not what i’m trying to say, but there is no reason to be so condescending about it. just because there is someone else out there that does the same thing i do, doesn’t make it less important.” you spoke, your arms soon finding their way over your chest to mimic chan’s stance, but yours was in a more defensive manner than he found himself in.

“see, this is why i didn’t want to say anything! you always get so damn defensive, and i feel like i have to walk on eggshells around you. it’s annoying as hell.” he let out a small groan, and you swear to someone you saw him roll his eyes.

you found your lips parting slightly as your jaw went slack. you had never seen him like this before. you had seen him get upset and downright angry, but this bitchy attitude was new.

“you know what? forget i said anything.” it was your turn to scoff as you pushed yourself off the counter, your bare feet landing safely on the kitchen floor. without as much as a word, you left for your shared bedroom to be alone.

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day twelve!)

(another short one oops)

(read them all here!)

when bakugo came in the next day, he seemed especially grumpy. when this happened, you always made a tiny mental checklist:

•keep the snarky remarks at a minimum.

•try to make him happier.

•get him to talk about it.

the last one was especially important. you didn’t know a whole lot about bakugo, but one thing you could be sure of is that he was the type to bottle everything up until he ended up taking it out on everyone. so, if you could spare everyone his anger, you figured it’d be okay to pry a bit.

“good afternoon,” you chirp as bakugo stormed in, face flushed. “the usual?”

“yes.” he snapped, nearly slamming the cash on the counter, which you gently took as you put it in the cash drawer and handed him his change. bakugo snatched the change. no tip, you noticed. not that it mattered, anyway. you were on a mission.

bakugo sat down in his seat, muttering under his breath, his fists clenched as he crossed his arms on the countertop.

“bad day?” you asked sympathetically, handing him his coffee.

“he got away.” bakugo seethed. “that fucker got away.”

“a villain?” you clarified.

“no, my dog,” bakugo snarled. “yes, a goddamn villain.”

“i’m sorry to hear that.” you reply. “but it’s okay. it’s just one villain, right? you’ll get him eventually.”

“that’s not the point!” bakugo snarled, slamming his now smoking fist on the counter. “i’m the damned number one hero. the best. i don’t fucking get villains eventually. i fight them and i beat them on the first try. this is fucking stupid.”

“bakugo, the smoke.” you say gently. as much as you wanted to make him feel better, you also couldn’t have him damaging the store. bakugo only tched before snatching a napkin from the nearby dispenser and wiping the sweat from his hands, causing the smoke to disappear into the air.

“can’t fuckin’ believe this shit.” he grumbled, gripping his coffee mug tightly. “stupid goddamn villain… the press is gonna have my ass over this shit.”

“the press?” you tilt your head confusedly. “over one villain? they can’t expect you to be perfect, right?”

“they can, and they do.” bakugo spat. “it’s probably on the damn news already.”

“well, don’t pay attention to them.” you say soothingly before putting on a smile. “they don’t matter. focus on the villain. you’ve got this. you’re the best, after all.”

“yeah, i know.” bakugo grumbled, his scowl softening ever so slightly. “thanks.. or whatever.”

“anytime.” you pause. “and i mean that. as your friend.”

“who said we’re friends?” bakugo narrowed his eyes.

“me.” you shrug.

“you’re weird as shit.”

“i’ll take that as a compliment.” you smile.

“it wasn’t meant as a compliment.”

“i’m an optimist.”

“no shit.” bakugo snorted, before sipping his coffee with a little less anger than he had before. his phone pinged, and he looked at it. his brow furrowed.

“everything okay?” you ask.

“my damn sidekicks are tracking the villain. they said he’s headin’ north, towards our area.”

“area like our exact location or area like general vicinity?” you ask, a bit nervously.

“general vicinity.” bakugo looked up and arched an eyebrow. “why, you scared or somethin’?”

“kinda.” you admit. “if there’s gonna be a villain by here and my customers don’t know…” bakugo huffed through his nose.

“please.” he scoffed smugly. “you’ve got the number one hero protecting this place. you and your shitty old people will be fine.”

bakugo stood up.

“i’m goin’ now.” he stated.

“already? you haven’t finished your coffee.” you point out.

“no time. i’ve got a shitty villain wannabe to murder.” bakugo grinned maliciously. at least he wasn’t scowling…?

“stay safe,” you warn. bakugo’s grin widens.

“safe was never part of the job description, dumbass.”

“then…” you hesitate for a moment. “stay strong.”

“they can’t expect you to be perfect, right?”

“they can, and they do.”

<- previous next->

@k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity

[readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure]

Hi!! P, 13 for Billy! Angsty but with a happy ending, please! Thank you!

Here you go, anon. 💕

This one is set while Billy is still a Marine.

P. Fighting/almost breaking up 13. 'What happened to us?'

----------------------------------------------

It all started with a really shit day. One of those days where everything that could go wrong did go wrong and all you wanted to do was to crawl into bed with your boyfriend and have him hold you for a while.

But you couldn’t. Because your boyfriend was thousands of miles away, in a desert somewhere in Afghanistan.

So, when you logged on to your scheduled Skype call, your mood was already dismal.

Usually getting to see Billy in any way you could was enough to brighten your mood, but today the low-quality picture and clunky signal just served as an unwelcome reminder of how he wasn’t there with you.

You needed him, and he wasn’t there. Just like he hadn’t been there all the other days you had needed him over the past several months. And all the months of his last two tours.

You were immensely proud of him for his service and would never ask him to quit the Marines for you… but it was hard being left behind. It was lonely.

In retrospect, you should have sent him an email and rescheduled your Skype call, claiming to be sick or something. But you had thought you could power through. You had thought that Billy would make you feel better.

You had thought wrong.

He had quickly noticed your sour mood, which only made his own mood sour in turn, and soon you found yourself in a heated fight while Skype kept freezing on your angry expressions.

‘Is it too much to want to enjoy this time together?’ said Billy in an angry whisper. He didn’t have the luxury of yelling, something that satisfied your petty side. ‘After all the shit that goes on here, I think I deserve a break and a chance to chat with my girl.’

‘We’re not together, Billy,’ you reminded him. ‘We’re on whole different continents. I love you and I’m proud of you, but you can’t expect me to always be okay with that.’

‘You’ve never had trouble before.’

You let out a bark of disbelieving laughter. ‘I’ve never let you see it before,’ you corrected. ‘I can’t count how many times I have cried myself to sleep because I missed having you next to me. Every Valentine’s Day and birthday and Christmas. Every shitty day that would have been made better with just one hug from you.’

‘That’s not my fault,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘I had already signed up when we got together. You knew what you were getting into.’

‘So I’m not allowed to miss you?’

‘No.’

You stared at the screen in shock. That had not been the answer you had been expecting.

Billy seemed to realise his mistake straight away, and he groaned as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. ‘That’s not what I… Look, my tour is over in a few weeks. Then none of this will matter.’

‘Unless the tour gets extended like the last one.’

Unless you don’t come home at all, you didn’t say.

‘Then we’ll just have to deal with it,’ he sighed. Something caught his attention and his gaze drifted to above the camera. He let out an annoyed growl and then looked back to the screen. ‘I gotta go. People are waiting to use the computers.’

You nodded, knowing that there was nothing you could do about it. You weren’t going to deny other people the chance to talk to their loved ones just because you and Billy were fighting.

‘I… I’ll see you soon.’

When the call ended, you finally let the tears fall down your cheeks.

----

Billy didn’t get the chance for another Skype call after that, and the only communication you had was emails which were kept short and succinct.

Only a few more weeks to go. I know.

Mission went well. I’m glad.

Got overlooked for the promotion again. I’m sorry.

Frank says hi. Hi Frank.

What happened to us?

That last message went unanswered.

But you would get your answer soon enough you supposed. By some miracle, Billy’s tour hadn’t been extended, and he was probably already on his flight home.

The thought made you equal parts happy and scared. You had missed him so much and couldn’t wait to see his face in person again… but what if this fight was not something you could both get past? What if the next time you saw him was also the last time?

It was those thoughts that had you stress-cleaning, and you were just about done with the kitchen when someone knocked on your front door. You almost ignored them but decided better of it when they knocked again.

‘All right, I’m coming,’ you grumbled as you made your way to the door.

Your annoyance disappeared the second you opened it.

There, on your doorstep, was Billy, dressed in a suit and holding his duffle bag in one hand and flowers in the other.

‘Why didn’t you use your key?’ you asked dumbly before you shook yourself out of it and stepped aside to let him in.

He gave you a small smile as he passed you. You caught a whiff of his cologne as he did, and your mind finally caught up with the fact that he was really there in front of you.

He was home.

Billy put his bag on the floor near the wall and then turned back to hold out the flowers to you.

You took them silently, and then immediately chucked them away as you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ you cried into his shoulder. You could deal with the fight and the distant emails and the unanswered questions later. Right now, all that mattered was that he had made it home again. ‘I’m so glad you’re home.’

Billy’s arms wrapped around you, making you cry harder. ‘Me too, baby,’ he whispered, and he pressed a kiss to your temple. ‘It’s so good be back for good.’

That had you pulling away, but Billy didn’t let you get very far. He only gave you just enough room to be able to look up at him. ‘For good?’ you asked, hope welling in your chest.

Billy nodded and reached up to wipe the drying tears from your cheeks. ‘I’ve finally got enough saved up to get out. I’ve been emailing the bank, and I think I can get a small loan to set up Anvil at last.’

Anvil had been his dream for a while now, but you hadn’t realised it had been so close.

Your smile could have rivalled the sun at that moment. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ you said.

You wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, maybe drag him straight to the bedroom, but the fight still lingered at the back of your mind, telling you that he might not want that.

Something must have shown in your eyes, because Billy suddenly cupped your cheeks and crashed his lips to yours, dispelling every one of your doubts.

You would get past it. You were going to be okay.

You clung to the collar of his shirt like it was a lifeline, even after the kiss ended.

‘I’m not leaving you ever again,’ he said, voice suddenly more serious than you’d ever heard it. ‘No more missed birthdays or holidays.’

You shook your head, feeling silly for the things you’d said all those weeks ago.

‘I’m sor-’

Billy cut off your apology with another kiss, this one less impassioned and more tender.

More loving.

‘Me too,’ he whispered once he had pulled away again. He rested his forehead against yours, and you both closed your eyes, relishing in the fact that you were both together.

You were both still together.

‘You asked what happened to us,’ he said. ‘The way I see it, the only thing that happened is we became stronger than before. Because now we know we can get through anything.’

Tears pricked at your eyes again, but you didn’t let them fall.

You couldn’t agree with him more.

[ghostisventing]

Ok this is gonna be a long post

I genuinely think I might be a lesbian. I’ve always questioned it on and off occasionally but I never really thought about it because I was confident I was bisexual. For the past few days, I’ve seriously considered it. Idk why. It seems so sudden.

It scares me. And disappoints me. I had to defend my bisexuality for years and it feels like I’m “picking a side” and betraying everyone ):

But I’m also scared because what if I’m wrong and I’m actually bi and this whole thing was for nothing? What if I feel uncomfortable when guys like me back because they were older? What if I liked unavailable men because I have a shitty taste in men? What if I like a guy again in the future? What if the reason being married to a man sounds horrible is because of patriarchal expectations? What if this is just trauma?

But also, I relate to a lot of lesbians. I used to pick boys to like. For fuck sake I even did that freshman year of college (I’m 19). I don’t think I could ever be happy with a man. The idea of dating and having sex with a man disgusts me. Most of my “crushes” on men have been about wanting male validation and attention. I feel anxious flirting with men. Before I considered being a lesbian, I wished I was one. I resented liking men and I was miserable every time I had a “crush” on a man but I thought it was normal.

When I identified as bisexual, I always preferred women. I didn’t really like the idea of getting a boyfriend. I remember being asked constantly in middle school if I had a crush on a boy and I never liked any guy at my school. My friends were always shocked by this. My mom still asks if I want a boyfriend and I always say no.

But I like the idea of dating a woman and sleeping with a woman and getting married to a woman. I *want* to date women. If I was with a woman, I wouldn’t care about never being with a man. I mean I spent my whole life without a boyfriend, so it wouldn’t matter anyways. But if I was with a man? I would be disappointed. I would want to be with a woman. I never resented having crushes on women. I’m never uncomfortable with flirting with women. It feels more natural. I find women to be so much more attractive than men.

But what if I’m wrong and I do like men?

[chackyxyooj]

Like Boats in the Night

Note: AoT Season 4 (Part 1) Potential Spoilers; WC ~5700

The wind was loud and harsh against the skin of passersby that evening. Most of them had already gone to bed for the night, though a select few chose to remain away from their homes. Whether it was for a moment of peace, late business hours, a moment to take the edge off or a little bit of adventure in a boring mundane life. Regardless of the reason though they all shared a common denominator.

They were all here in hopes of figuring something out.

A young auburn haired man grumbled in discomfort as the door to the bar swung open.

The bar was a small one located in the richer section of town; the northern side. Far away from the soldier training grounds and Eldian living area. Just how many of the Marelyan’s liked it.

The front and left walls of the bar were made of bricks, chairs and tables lined up along the sides. The back and right walls were connected to other rooms and separated with wooden planks. The bar, and the section that the bartender stayed in, was a square in the middle of the room that connected with the back wall. A door which led to the back kitchen was pushed off to the back right corner.

Empty glasses hung off the wall behind the bar. The barkeeper sat off to the side cleaning a glass while a young couple made small talk in the opposite corner of the bar. Three men playing cards were tucked away in the front right corner, opposite the auburn haired male.

Just entering the bar was a tired woman. From her clothing one could tell that she was a soldier of some sort. Her clothing looked like a uniform of some sort though it was unkempt. Everyone in the small bar chose to mind their own business, though the woman had quickly caught the attention of the auburn haired male.

“What can I get for ya, darlin?” Asked the barkeep.

“Something strong. I’ve had a really long day.”

“How bout a Queen’s Blue Tonic?”

“What’s in it?”

“It’s better you don’t know. Just know that it’ll likely knock you out in a good moment if ya don’t get somethin in your stomach.”

“Don’t worry,” the woman smirked, “I’m a pretty heavy drinker.”

The barkeep shrugged, “well, don’t expect me ta do anythin special if ya end up koncked out. You’ll be thrown out just like all the otha fools who drink more than they can handle.”

“Duly noted.”

The auburn haired male had been intrigued by the unknown woman as soon as she walked in. He had been coming to this bar for a good while now and he hadn’t seen anyone like her come in here before.

Now, it was a real shitty thing to pick someone up at a bar, especially when they looked to be having a bad day, but could you have really blamed the auburn haired male? Who didn’t want a prince charming like himself to cheer them up?

The woman had downed her drink in a single shot after the bartender had given it to her. To the auburn haired male’s surprise she hadn’t seemed fazed at all. She wasn’t even flushed. The only other person the auburn haired male had seen take a heavy drink and not get phased was a certain green eyed male… Something to do with his ‘special abilities.’

Regardless, the auburn haired male had decided that he was definitely going to talk to this unknown woman.

“So what brings a sweet girl like you to a place like this?” Asked the auburn haired male.

The woman rolled her eyes, “I can break your arm in three different ways and every bone in your hand, Mister. I’ve had a very bad day and I doubt you want to be on the receiving end of my annoyance.”

Mister smirked, “well, I’ve heard that the best remedy for a bad day is a drink-”

“That is what I happen to be doing.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“If the answer ends in something I find unpleasant you are definitely going to be leaving this bar with a broken bone.”

“Let’s make this a good one then.” the auburn haired male, Mister grinned widely, “I’ve heard that you need a strong drink and a fresh listener.”

“A fresh listener?”

“Of course! Someone who you don’t know is always the best person to vent to.”

“And are you offering your ‘fresh listening’ services to me?”

“Only if you insist.”

“I’m not insisting.”

“Well I certainly am.”

The woman chuckled, “I guess I’ll entertain you if you’re that insistent. There’s this friend of mine who’s been lying to me and I recently figured it out. I’ve been ignoring them and while I know that’s childish I’m not really sure what to do.”

“So what if it’s childish?” Mister provoked, “you shouldn’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. If you want to ignore that person then ignore that person.”

“That advice was… surprising.”

“In a good way?”

“Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

The auburn haired male hadn’t been expecting this conversation to go so… well. There weren’t many people in his life that humoured him and even less that put up with his banter. Giving a piece of advice was the least he could do for this tired woman.

Regardless of how he felt he knew that nothing would ever come out of this conversation.

She was likely to become just another pretty face in the night that would blur with all the other people that he had met before. It was what happened when you met a lot of different people.

Though, while in the moment, the auburn haired male would enjoy it. It was nice to be around someone that didn’t take him for a condescending asshole. There were definitely more parts to him and perhaps some of them would be seen tonight.

“You know, if you were trying to hit on me, you’re doing a very bad job at it.” teased the woman.

Mister chuckled, “you don’t even think that I deserve a chance? I am quite the looker you know?”

“If you say so.”

“Do you want another drink or something to eat? That drink you had was enough to put a six foot male to sleep. I’ll ask the barkeep for you, though you would have to pay for it.”

Now it was the woman’s turn to laugh, “you really are charming, aren’t you Mister?”

Mister held his hands up in mock surrender, “guilty as charged.”

“Anyways, it’s alright. I’m a really heavy drinker. I don’t like to brag but it really does take a lot for me to feel something.” the woman yawned, “besides, I only came here for a quick drink. Curfew for us Warriors is coming up soon, so I need to be heading back.”

“Well, don’t say that I didn’t offer.”

“Oh, you didn’t! It’s on me, remember.”

Truly, the auburn haired male was caught. It had been awhile since he could last recall having this much fun when talking with someone. It really was so much easier when you were talking with a stranger.

Perhaps he would have to start making small talk with strangers more. Though he doubted there would be many strangers like her around. Or at least, not many people that would put up with an intrusive stranger like him. Not to mention he still needed to do what he had come here for. He still had a mission that he needed to complete.

“Say,” the woman’s icey blue gaze met his own as she eyed him curiously, “you look rather familiar. Do I know you from somewhere? Were you perhaps a soldier or cadet in the army at one point?”

“Definitely not.” the auburn haired male, for the first time tonight, lied, “I’m not much of a fighter. I can name at least ten people that are better than me.”

______________________________________________________

The most interesting people are found at night. Or at least the people who had the most to say about something could be found at night. Talking to folks when they were relaxed and had their guard down was the best time to get information out of people.

Or at least, that was what they told the auburn haired male.

He had been assigned a mission that he needed to complete. A mission that involved the collection of information. Unfortunately, he seemed to be tough out of luck tonight - which was why he found himself back in a familiar bar with a drink in hand as he attempted to find something useful.

His mind wandered back to the icey eyed woman. As someone in the military, it was likely that she knew at least some secrets. And had she said something about the Warriors? The auburn haired male honestly wasn’t too sure.

His mind hadn’t been in the right place when he had started talking to her.

And frankly, it likely wasn’t right at this moment either.

Time statute of limitations was quickly coming to a close and the auburn haired male had barely gathered any information that they didn’t already know.

Perhaps drowning his sorrows in drink after drink wasn’t the best way to gather information. Though, in the defence of the auburn haired male, any information that he did find was likely not going to change anything anyway.

The plans had already been set in motion. All they had to do was wait. Wait for just the right moment before they-

“What’s got you in the dumps today, Mister?” Asked a familiar voice.

Well, speak -think- if the devil and thou shall appear

“Was it that obvious?” The auburn haired male asked.

“No,” she grinned, “it just happens to be one of my special abilities. I like to consider myself an empath of sorts.”

“At least one of us is in a good mood.” Mister downed the rest of his drink, “so what brings you back here? You seem more like a one time customer than a regular patron.”

“I’m not too sure about it either,” she gestured to the barkeep, “perhaps I just wanted more of your ‘amazing’ advice. The Barkeep had poured two shots of whatever Mister had already been drinking before heading back to the other side of the bar. The woman with icy eyes seemed to smirk when she noticed that the auburn haired male was only eyeing his drink. “Don’t worry, Mister, it’s on me.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Depends.”

“Depends?”

“Yeah.” The woman nodded, “it depends on how any of our further interactions go. We may not even speak again. The line of work I’m involved in is rather dangerous.”

“So is mine.”

“What was that?”

Mister chuckled, “nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.”

The woman looked as if she wanted to say something but shook her head, “so what seems to be bothering you?”

“What makes you think I’d tell you?”

“Well,” the woman grinned. It certainly seemed that she was enjoying tonight much more than the auburn haired male, “a certain ‘Prince Charming’ had told me a strong drink and a fresh listener was a good remedy to any problems someone might be having.”

“You’re not fresh. I’ve already spoken to you.”

“Come on! It’ll be the least I can do after you spoke to me. We can call it payment for the drinks.”

Mister was suddenly regretting his own brash actions from the previous night. He hadn’t been expecting her to return and entirely ignored his own selfish wants to find her again. By admitting his selfish wants, he would be admitting that he had violated rule number two.

Don’t make any connections beyond information gathering.

Well, he was already in too deep. He doubted that the woman would let him go without spilling at least a little bit of information about himself.

“Well, there’s this girl-”

She cut him off, “you don’t have to lie.”

“And how do you know I’m lying?”

“You wouldn’t have been ‘flirting’ with me the other night if there was ‘some girl’ that you cared about. No, you seem more like someone who’s stressed from work.” She had hit the nail right on its head.

“And how in the world did you come to that conclusion?”

“I’m an empath, remember?”

“Of course. You don’t seem very keen on letting me forget.”

“So, what’s got you so stressed?”

Was this really the right thing to be talking about?

Well, it was worth taking a shot. Any advice was better than nothing at this point.

It’s not like she would end up being someone he knew, right?

“There… is someone I admire. He’s a coworker, and he’s asked me to do something for him but I’m not too sure how things will play out.” ‘Mister continued, “I think his idea is brilliant, but I’m just not sure if I can do what he’s asked of me.”

“Wow. It really does sound like you have it rough.”

“Yeah. So do you have any brilliant advice to help me out?”

“Well, is this ‘thing’ you have to do illegal?” asked the woman.

Mister grinned mischievously, “in a way.”

The icy eyed woman continued, “well then, I guess you’ll just have to ask yourself how important this ‘thing you have to do’ is and if this ‘person you admire’ is really worth it. Honestly, what you should be truly asking yourself is, how far are you willing to go?”

How far was he willing to go?

How many people would die or get hurt from the actions that Mister would do. From the crimes that he would commit? Would it end up taking his own life?

Mister wasn’t all too sure yet.

Despite seeming like a woman around his age her words seemed many years past his own. Her eyes got this strange faraway look as she spoke to him. It looked as though she had many demons of her own.

Thinking about how much other people could be suffering was always such a strange thing for the auburn haired male. He had grown up in a time and place where people only focused on themselves. On their own wants and needs. His own father had been someone who placed his needs above his childrens’ needs - above his own.

So, it was hard for him to consider the feelings of others sometimes.

He guessed that everyone had their own problems that they needed to deal with.

After a long moment of silence between the auburn haired and icy eyed woman, the bartender had come back, asking, “so is that all the two of y’all be drinkin?”

The icy eyed woman nodded before placing a few bills on the table.

“Y'all want change?”

“It’s alright.”

The barkeep shrugged, collecting the money before heading off to talk to other patrons of the bar.

“Well, good luck with any problems you have, Mister.” the icy eyed woman smiled, “oh, and if you were wondering, my name’s (Y/n) (L/n).”

______________________________________________________

Of course the icy eyed woman would end up being someone he knew.

(Y/n) (L/n).

Who didn’t know (Y/n) (L/n)? Marley’s prodigy Crystal Shifter.

One of the five Titan Shifters that Marley controlled; one of the two Warriors that had returned from their five year mission to the devil island, Paradis, and the girl who was just shy of placing among the top ten of the 104 cadets.

Mister was simultaneously freaking out and realising what kind of opportunity this was. There was a high possibility that Mister would end up saying something that would compromise his position, yet there was likely a lot of important information that he might’ve been able to get out of her.

Now that the auburn haired male actually thought about it, he did think that it was rather strange that she didn’t recognize him earlier. While she had been drinking the first night that he had approached her, she wasn’t one to get drunk - even if the drink was a heavy one. Perhaps he was just so unmemorable that he hadn’t stuck in her memory? Had he really been just another drop in the ocean that was her life?

Truthfully though, the auburn male hadn’t exactly recognized her at first either.

Her appearance had changed a bit from when she was younger. While the young (Y/n) had always been cute, it seemed that she had grown into her features better. Finishing puberty seemed to have done wonders for her. Her form seemed much stronger than it had been when they were younger. But the thing that separated this (Y/n) from the young one that Mister had met was the confidence she walked with.

Before, Mister thought that the (h/c) haired girl had always walked around as if she were nervous. As if she didn’t belong. At first, the auburn haired male thought that it might’ve been because she had been born closer to the interior and was nervous about her new surroundings. Then, he had assumed it to be because her ‘sister’ Mina had died.

Now though, he understood the reason why.

A confidence that commanded soldiers and made enemies fall to their feet was what followed her, and it was that confidence which prevented Mister from recognizing her at first. The confidence was intimidating, demanded attention and most of all, was attractive.

Mister had always considered (Y/n) to be cute, but he hadn’t thought of her as attractive before.

Regardless of how the auburn male felt there was still a mission he needed to complete. An assignment that needed to be fulfilled.

Everyone who had been assigned with infiltration had been told not to interact with the Warrior Candidates or Warriors - especially the Crystal Titan Shifter. But that didn’t stop Mister from going to the very same bar that he met her.

The first few nights could be argued as incompetence and confusion.

Tonight though, would be him directly going against orders.

Orders were the last thing on his mind as the icey eyed girl took a seat beside him, ordering the same drink she had last time.

Mister wondered if the (h/c)ette had done something to alter the colouring of her eyes. If it had something to do with Marley’s technology or with her Titan Shifting abilities.

“So, do you live here?” (Y/n) asked, resting her head on her hand.

The auburn haired male turned to face her, “this happens to be my first time here this week, Miss (Y/n). If anything, I’d think you were the one who lives here. Though, if I had the chance of seeing someone as attractive as myself here, I’d keep coming as well.”

(Y/n) playfully rolled her eyes, “you’re cute, but don’t you think you’re flattering yourself a little too much, Mister?”

“Really? I can cook, clean and fight! Not to mention that I’m quite the looker.” the auburn haired male gave the girl a wink, “the whole package deal if you ask me.”

“Perhaps we just have different ideas of what ‘the whole package’ is.”

“And what is your ideal man, or woman, Miss (Y/n)?”

The girl let out a chuckle, “I find guys with short, dark hair attractive, so I might not be the right person to judge your physical appearance. Personality wise, I think it’s humble guys that really get me going.”

“And what do you mean by ‘get you going’?” Teased the auburn haired male.

“I’m going to need a few more drinks before we get to talking about personal things like that.”

“A few? More like an entire store’s worth.”

Her eyes cleared up as she looked at Mister curiously, “do I give off the impression of a heavy drinker?”

Oh shit!

“Well, it was just that on the first night we met you were drinking a heavy drink and didn’t get very drunk! I just assumed that-”

“Oh!” She let out an airy chuckle, “I wasn’t talking about myself getting drunk! What I meant was that you’ll need a few more drinks before I tell you anything.”

“And why is that?”

“Well, you know who I am and I don’t know who you are. I wouldn’t want to tell you anything if you’ll remember it. Can’t have you telling all my secrets and then slipping away in the night, can I?”

Mister was curious to know if his cover was blown yet, or if (Y/n) was always this protective when telling people things about herself? It seemed that the latter was more likely. After all, even before he had known who she was she was still hesitant when talking about herself.

“Then how about another drink then?” The auburn haired male asked.

“Sure,” (Y/n) smirked, “on me, of course.”

“Of course.”

---

“So, you can’t remember who you had your first kiss with?” (Y/n) asked.

Mister, whose face was already flushed from drinking, nodded, “yes! Because of my late shift I was basically the last person to arrive at the party. Everyone thought it a great idea to start playing a drinking version of truth or dare as soon as I arrived. I had about five too many drinks when the person sitting next to me was dared to kiss me.”

(Y/n) smiled, “you sound like you’ve had quite the entertaining life as a soldier.”

“Yeah.” Mister took another swig before grinning, “So who was your first kiss with, Miss (Y/n)?”

“My first kiss was with a boy when we were around… ten?”

“Ten! That doesn't count!” the auburn haired male exclaimed, “what about back when you were a cadet? You had all the boys chasing you back then, didn’t you?”

“Well, that’s a bit of an overstatement.”

“Perhaps we should start thinking of ways of getting you home, Mister.” (Y/n) chuckled, “do you need me to walk you home?”

“You know, I used to wonder why you six didn’t get drunk! If I had known about the shifty thing about you shifters and your drinking, I wouldn’t have agreed back-”

“Oh there you are!!” exclaimed a young boy who had entered the bar, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

If the auburn haired male had been in the right state of mind, he would’ve noticed the stiffness of the newcomer as they (the newcomer) spotted the Crystal Shifter. He would’ve been able to stop himself from saying such careless things.

It was just lucky for him that (Y/n)’s own relief had kept her from putting the pieces together at that moment or Mister might’ve found himself encased in crystal.

“Ah! Tom! I was wondering if you’d come to find me today!”

“And of course you had to be drunk.”

(Y/n) gave an apologetic smile, “sorry! That’s most definitely my fault.”

“Oh! I-it’s alright ma’am!” ‘Tom’ exclaimed, keeping his head down, “my… uncle! Yes, my uncle here has a… problem with drinking! My parents have been worried sick about him!”

“Oh! I’m sorry for helping him indulge in a bad habit then.”

“Hey!” Mister suddenly quipped, “I am not your uncle! We’re practically the same age!”

(Y/n) laughed, “well, since it seems that Mister here is in good hands, I’ll be heading out now.”

“Goodbye ma’am!” squeaked ‘Tom’.

With the final shutting of the door, ‘Tom’ let out a sigh of relief before turning to Mister with a scowl in his face.

“I thought you said that you had the Crystal Titan Shifter under control!” ‘Tom’ exclaimed.

Mister grimaced, but a response never came as he passed out, falling face first onto the table.

______________________________________________________

“I don’t like it here.” exclaimed a young boy who had flopped back in his seat.

A young girl, who seemed to be around the same age as the boy, smiled playfully, “and yet you continue to linger.”

The young boy rolled his eyes, “only because it was necessary for me. I feel like the air stings my eyes and the foreign language feels bitter against my tongue.”

The young children sat at a small cafe, opposite the bar that Mister frequented. A small table was set up for the two of them. The pair of children sat opposite one another and seemed to have been somewhere within their mid-teens. They were both fair haired and light skinned, leaving Mister to wonder if they were related somehow.

“Maybe it’s your toxic personality that’s tainted the environment around here?” teased the girl.

The boy scoffed, “I bet you think you’re so clever.”

“I don’t think so. I know.”

Mister didn’t stay to listen to any more of the conversation - not that he cared to listen. It seemed like such a meaningless conversation in the long run. Especially when he had such an important mission to complete.

Mister could barely remember what had happened last night. Something about learning secrets after a few too many drinks.

The auburn haired male’s frustration was accompanied with a throbbing headache and a pain in his side. Everything was uncomfortable.

Oh, how he missed days where he could be blissful and ignorant. His own childhood had been very easy, especially in comparison to those that he knew. He hadn’t been chased out of his home and forced into service. It was something that he had chosen to do. A choice that he had been privileged enough to make.

And all the decisions that Mister chose to make accumulated to him currently listening to pointless conversations like this one.

There were whispers of runaway couples, men who never returned home to their families after war, and folks who planned the deaths of each other. All such cruel and harsh things, yet all so pointless in the grand scheme of things. All so useless to his mission with nothing in relation to what he had been assigned to gather.

It was almost about as useless as drinking to get rid of a hangover.

“Fancy seeing you here.” An annoyingly chipper voice rang. Mister never really liked early morning conversations, and this one was no different.

A short string of curses began to fall as the auburn haired male turned to greet the new onlooker. However, he very quickly found those words replaced with silence when he met with the icy gaze of the Crystal Titan Shifter.

Her icy gaze didn’t feel quite as cold in the morning as it did at night.

“Not here to drink during the day, are you?”

“I like to think of it as a sort of pick-me-up after a rough night.”

“I’m not sure your… nephew would approve.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care about his opinion.”

The (h/c) haired female crossed her arms. “Then it’s a bad thing that I do.”

Mister had never really considered red to be one of his favourite colours, but the red band the Crystal Shifter wore particularly caught his eye today. It seemed to be so much more distinct in the morning sunlight. Especially against the dark green jacket she currently wore. Perhaps then, it wasn’t really the band which caught his eye but the jacket beneath it, but Mister wasn’t about to worry himself about it now.

“To be fair, it’s kind of your fault that I have a killer headache this morning.” Replied the auburn haired male.

(Y/n) laughed, “I suppose it is. Instead of an early morning drink, how about a cup of coffee instead? On me, as per usual.”

Mister wasn’t one to turn down a good time, but chit chatting with the enemy has never been the brightest of ideas. If the previous night was a testament to anything, Mister knew the answer he should have given to her offer. Yet despite his better judgement, Mister found himself sitting across from the Crystal Shifter faster than he would’ve thought possible. He almost disliked how eagerly he had agreed to the coffee in the first place.

“So were you hoping to run into me this morning?” teased Mister.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Well, usually when we meet at the bar, it’s because you’d been looking for me.” The auburn haired male grinned, “and I hate to say it, but you are the one who approached me this morning.”

The Crystal Titan Shifter sat back in her seat. “It just so happens that the bar in this part of town is across from one of the best bakeries, in my humble opinion. But I suppose if you like the idea of me coming all this way to search for you, then who am I to put an end to your fantasies?”

“My fantasies?” 

“Of course! But… I believe I’m getting ahead of myself. Tell me, can you keep a secret?”

“Depends on the kind of secret you share.”

(Y/n) smiled, but it wasn’t one that made Mister feel at ease. “I’m not supposed to say things like this, but I don’t believe that the wars and battles I fight in are justified.”

“And why would you, a golden child of Marley, say something like that?”

“I’ve seen first hand what the battlefield does to people. I’ve spilled the blood of friends and foes alike. And one day, I’m afraid that the blood spilled will be my own.”

“You say that like you’re scared.”

“Aren’t you?”

The urge to laugh bubbled up inside of the auburn haired male despite the fact that nothing funny had been said. In fact, he didn’t even find what (Y/n) had begun talking about amusing in the slightest. If there had ever been a moment to trust his gut, now would’ve been the time. Not that he decided to listen to himself.

“I’m scared of death, but I’m not scared of dying. I’m scared of my death being meaningless.”

“And what would you describe as a meaningless death?”

“A death that creates no change.”

“For death to be meaningless it would mean that your life was meaningless. And I believe that no life is meaningless.” Mister gave (Y/n) a curious look. A look which must have implied he thought the shifter to be lying as moments later, (Y/n) deadpanned, “do you think I’m lying?”

Something in the way (Y/n)’s gaze had changed from looking at him to through him made Mister feel uneasy.

Mister thought he saw something flicker across the girl’s expression for a moment… something that awfully reminded him of the things she used to do back then. In fact, Mister recalled that all six of them shared that in common. From time to time, their eyes would become glazed over with a longing for something. He didn’t know what it was, but he was sure that it only ever happened to the six of them because they were-

“I noticed that the other night you mentioned something about how the six of us shifters didn’t get drunk.”

“And?”

“And there’s only five Warriors in Marley. Who are you?”

______________________________________________________

The wind was loud and harsh against the skin of passersby that evening. Most of them had already gone to bed for the night, though a select few chose to remain away from their homes. Whether it was for a moment of peace, late business hours, a moment to take the edge off or a little bit of adventure in a boring mundane life. Regardless of the reason though they all shared a common denominator.

They were all here in hopes of figuring something out.

A young auburn haired man grumbled in discomfort as the door to the bar swung open.

The bar was a small one located in the richer section of town; the northern side. Far away from the soldier training grounds and Eldian living area. Just how many of the Marelyan’s liked it.

Empty glasses hung off the wall behind the bar. The barkeeper sat off to the side cleaning a glass, patiently waiting for more customers to serve.

Just entering the bar was a woman. From her clothing one could tell that she was a soldier of some sort. Her clothing looked like a uniform of some sort, which is likely why it came as a surprise that it was so well kept. The woman had quickly caught the attention of the auburn haired male.

The bartender was quick to respond to the woman’s gaze.

“Queen’s Blue Tonic?”

“No drinks tonight. I’m just here to pay off the tab I’ve accumulated.”

As the barkeep nodded, the auburn haired male couldn’t stop himself from making his way to the female’s side.

“Won’t even stop to say hi?”

When the woman turned her gaze towards the auburn haired male, he immediately noticed that her eyes were an icy blue.

A cold gaze that held no familiarity.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Considering a good portion of your tab was accumulated on me, I’d hope you at least remember my name. Unless you’ve forgotten already?”

The woman pulled away from the male, clearly uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, but you must be mistaking me for someone else.”

“No, I’m quite certain I know who I’m talking to.”

“Really? Because I haven’t the slightest clue of who you might be.”

This… wasn’t really happening, was it? The auburn haired male hadn’t said anything during their most recent confrontation which garnered this kind of treatment, had he? Surely not. If anything, the male was certain she would’ve been at least amused to see him.

Instead, he simply sat in shock as the woman paid off her tab with no further comments and left.

He felt just as invisible as he had been as a cadet.

Floch Forester was a no one. A side character in his own life.

[rottingwaysofmisery]

For fans of Old School Death Metal

This post is to serve as a list of recommendations of niche or newer Old School Death Metal-esque bands, and what bands they’re most similar to.

Let me preface, if you’re looking for Cannibal Corpse you’re not going to get it. I like some Cannibal Corpse songs, but they’re not the kind of music that I want to get from Old School Death Metal (OSDM). You’re going to get a lot more stuff similar to Morbid Angel or Death because that’s mainly what I’m into.

I’m also going to mention themes here, which you may find confusing if you don’t pay attention to Death Metal’s themes but there’s something much more interesting to me about Death Metal that goes into mythology, history, or the occult, in the stead of the classic “Gore and Misogyny” that lazy Death Metal bands tend to do.

With that out of the way, here we go.

Gruesome - For Fans of early Death

American band done explicitly in the style of/in tribute to the band Death, with albums reminiscent of Leprosy or Spiritual Healing.

Sijjin - For Fans of Morbid Angel

A personal favorite of mine, this one has hooks and riffs for days. I found myself surprised to like this, as I had expected modern death metal bands to have nothing interesting in store, but this 2019-born band delivers just as well as any old Florida Death Metal band.

Atrocity - For Fans of the general Florida Death Metal scene

If you search this band up on Spotify, you’re most likely going to be greeted by their shitty cover albums. Yeah, in my opinion this band definitely fell off. I would, however, highly recommend their sophomore release “Todessehnsucht”. It even happens to feature a cover of a Death demo song, Archangel.

Perdition Temple - For Fans of Deicide and Morbid Angel

You’re in for a lot of Morbid Angel-type stuff, even though Death is my favorite band. This one isn’t necessarily just death metal though, as it’s sometimes labelled Black/Death Metal. Not in like, a war metal/bestial black metal kind of way though so don’t get your hopes up if you’re into that. I would personally recommend their first release the most, “Edict of the Antichrist Elect”.

Nile - For Fans of Morbid Angel

You might cry, “That’s not niche or new!”, but if I can get through to at least one Morbid Angel fan who just happens to not know about Nile, my job will be done. As the name suggests, this band thematically pertains to Egypt, particularly Ancient Egypt. I’ve never been a huge Nile fan, but of the few songs I do love I really love them.

Xenomorph - For Fans of Morbid Angel

Specifically, the American band that only released Empyreal Regimes in 1995. I really love the production on that album, something about the tone feels warm.

Angelcorpse - For Fans of Morbid Angel

If you love Morbid Angel but hate the groovier or slower parts, this band is for you. Personally, never been a big fan since I love the slower stuff from Morbid Angel, but you may love this.

Altars - For Fans of Morbid Angel

In direct contrast to the last band, here’s a bit of a groovier death metal band. Specifically, this the Altars that is an Australian Death Metal band that released “Paramnesia”.

Necronomicon - For fans of Morbid Angel

Canadian Death Metal band, I would specifically recommend “Pharoah of the Gods”, if you can get past all the unnecessary intros on multiple tracks at least. Generally, mid-paced sorta stuff.

Sentenced - For Fans of Death

They had a similar thing to Atrocity, except they went into rock music later on instead of just making covers. I would recommend their first album, Shadows of the Past, if you’re looking for that Florida Death Metal sound, and their second album if you’re looking for a more prog extreme metal sound. Anything beyond that I don’t like.

Mithras - For Fans of Morbid Angel

I would recommend specifically their album “Forever Advancing...... Legions”. It’s more on the groovy end of that Morbid Angel sound.

Scarab - For Fans of Morbid Angel (or Nile)

Excellent Egyptian Death Metal band, except this time actually from Egypt! I would highly recommend “Blinding the Masses”.

Coffin Texts - For Fans of Morbid Angel

A very underrated Death Metal band that is yet again, thematically about Ancient Egypt. If you’re tired of this theme, at least know it’s better than the alternative of just gore and femicide.

Nader Sadek - For Fans of Morbid Angel

Morbid Angel-esque riffing, sung over by one of the Morbid Angel singers, but oddly enough, about oil? I would recommend their excellent release from 2011, “In the Flesh”.

End of Recommendations

That’s all I have for now! If anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear em, if you reply with a suitable band I might give em a listen and reblog this with more!

[lunarkittenn]

Ok wait one more and this time I’ll be serious instead of making offers for kneecap removal service.

Him: removes relationship status specifically to make you mad

You: remove him from your social media completely

Him: *surprised pikachu meme*

He fucked around and found out. Death and illness of someone in your partner’s family is a hard thing to navigate, especially if they’re a new partner. It can be difficult to navigate the feeling of “the relationship is mostly new so I’m not sure how exactly can I best be there for you, this is unexpected” etc. BUT there’s no excuse for him getting pissed at you for not giving him all of your attention all the time. For him to expect you to give 100% of your energy to him, during a time where you’re just trying to put one foot in front of the other in your grief as you and your family make every day with your dad count, is selfish as fuck.

I know you were excited about him and are disappointed at how it’s turning out, but consider it as the trash taking itself out sooner rather than later. Because if he’d rather shut down and walk out than be there for you on your bad days and he’s regularly angry that you’re (rightly) focusing time and energy on your dad, he’s likely not going be in the support system you’ll want/need (and have) later down the road.

Hi, I’m sorry I haven’t answered. I think I’ve been trying to process how I feel. Thank you for this. It makes me feel less crazy, because he kept telling me I want perfection and I’m insane. I told him time and time again I understand how hard it is to have to deal with a girlfriend who’s dad is terminally Ill, especially in a newer relationship. But I NEVER expected him to know all the right things to say or have all the answers. I just wanted him to be there for me, that was all. And he couldn’t do it. He would get mad, jealous, and insecure. He compared my dad having ALS to his step dad having diabetes once..lol. I never knew why he even needed to compare. He would get mad at me that “all these dudes in my phone” ie. dudes I would play league with? I think? I don’t actually know because I have been having a hard time talking to anyone lately. But yeah anyway he would get mad, I would tell him he doesn’t understand the amount of emotional pain I’m in, so much so that it causes physical discomfort. And then he’d get mad that I said he “doesn’t understand” and would be like “you think my life is so perfect????” “I understand. My step dad has diabetes!” Like ..? And then I felt weird, and had to say anything beyond that. Because I wasn’t trying to play big dick game. I was just hoping he’d see how irrelevant the idea of me even trying to flirt with other dudes and hiding it. That’s so beyond my scope of worry right now.

I’m just heartbroken that this keeps happening. I know I walk into a lot of bad decisions and don’t cut things off soon enough a lot of the time but still; I’m just tired of failed relationship after failed relationship. I’m tired of being yelled at, or aggression. I’m tired of being talked down to, or selfish behaviors and then being gaslite into the next century about it. I’m tired of my feelings not being thought about. I shouldn’t have stayed with Colby so long. I should’ve been single more than a year. I should’ve run as soon as Hunter posted on his snap story rather than call me that one time.

But I’m just a fragile little human who is so sad and I wanted to hang on to that happy feeling I felt when he wasn’t being shitty. I just really liked that little beacon during this really fucking hard time

[talkingharrystyles]

If they’re still following to make it look like the relationship was legit instead of a stunt, they failed since debuting at a “private” wedding of a couple that are hardly famous yet had paps and drones on site. Further proceeding with a BUA 4 days after the last country premiere of a movie that flopped. Whatever the reasoning, still following a person who has actually proven herself how problematic and all around shitty she is, is not a good look! To be completely honest, the stunt has seriously knocked my respect down for Harry, his team, family and friends. Still a fan don’t get me wrong! But not a blind one anymore. Rant over 😉

No I agree with you nonnie. I absolutely agree with you. I feel the same way. That's why I said they failed from the beginning in brackets because if they wanted to make the stunt look legit they shouldn't have done the whole wedding fiasco. It just made them look bad because 1) they were breaking covid rules and 2) she looked like a cheater and he looked like a homewrecker. And don't get me started on the whole pretending to drive a car pap shoot. If they wanted to make it look legit they should've waited a couple of months and then begin the stunt. You know the first couple of months seeding a friendship and then getting together. They even could've started the stunt last year and they would've got more attention. The amount of attention they got in 2021, they could've got that much attention in 2022 but because it's been going for for 2 years people got bored and lost interest in them. But what did we expect from a team of brainless people 🤷‍♀️

I’ve only just seen this but yes!!!!

[munsonthemisfit]

I just saw your other post about wishing you had friends outside of being Eddie. That’s why I quit man. I was spending hours of my day replying to messages from all over and having people get shitty and possessive over Eddie or mad if I didn’t reply more than once in a day to each person. But then on my main if I ever interacted with people and tried to make friends (sometimes even with some of my most frequent askers on the rp blog) they would ignore me or be rude to me because they didn’t know who they were talking to. Like obviously I didn’t expect them to know who they were talking to. But the fact that me as a person was not even worth being kind when they would then turn up and swoon over “me” as Eddie. It fucked with my head. I had no fandom friends so I would keep coming back to the roleplay blog for fandom interaction. I ended up deleting my blog with no one knowing who I really was. I’ve made a few friends now. But not from being Eddie. All being Eddie did was worsen my mental health.

ooc: I’m right there with you, my guy. It’s sucks really bad and I don’t like it sometimes. People will swoon and gush over my Eddie account (which I appreciate) but then I try and do anything using a fan account or whatever and everyone ignores me. They don’t even realise they’re ignoring me cause I don’t expose my irl platforms like that but it sucks. I completely respect and understand that people came here for an Eddie account so realistically I can’t expect anyone to wanna stick around for the admin, that would be insane to expect that from people. But it totally does hurt to feel like I can’t make any long lasting friends outside of this character. This fandom has me in a chokehold and yet I can’t seem to have a group of friends outside of this whole act. The only friends I had managed to make outside of being Eddie have long abandoned me so I’m like ?? Luckily the toxic fans have left my blog so I’m not having people fighting over me and spamming me and getting mad at me/jealous over me, so that’s taken some of the edge off. But it still fucking sucks feeling like I’ll only be paid attention to/cared for if I play this role. I can’t expect more from people because they signed up for the Eddie interaction, but even on twitter and my personal blog I’m kinda ignored by the fandom and that feels icky to me. Shrugs.

[flashlight-fleshlight]

really struggling with like,, the *purpose* of my life lately

i spent my whole life wanting to off myself but i said i would wait until i was an adult (because then it would be all better)

but now i’ve reached adulthood and i hate it

so much

i have no meaningful connections. i work every day from 8-5 and then i come home and cry and get violently high because i literally don’t find joy in anything

honestly i think my life is pathetic

i come home and i binge eat because i tried to st4rve myself for the thousandth time (a battle i’ve literally never won for myself)

so i guess i’m not even good at having an eating disorder

i know i’m exactly like the girls he calls crazy bitches

and i was used to him threatening to leave when i was sad for a long time but i mean jesus i never expected him to actually do it

i thought we were stuck to each other. i thought he was the one thing i had left in life that i could really hold on to.

i don’t want to live alone in a shitty fucking one bedroom and never speak to anyone but my coworkers

god i’m so fucking tired of being lonely and i told him i wished he would pay more attention to me or say he loves me more because i was really struggling with feelings of worthlessness

and his fucking response was to tell me he’s not sexually attracted to me and would rather we be platonic soulmates

there is something so ultimately humiliating about those kind of statements

every time someone i love has to friend zone me instead of earnestly breaking things off because they’re afraid im gonna off myself

really all of it makes me want to end it all more

i cannot even fathom what my purpose on this earth is anymore

knowing that the people who want to love me just can’t hold space for me

that no matter what everyone tries to tell me i really am just too much

all i ever wanted was for somebody to feel lucky to love me

to really relish in it and thank god that they met me

and never have to worry about avoiding my calls because they don’t want to hear me cry

i don’t even know what the point of writing all of this out is

i guess there’s nobody else i can tell. my therapist will find out eventually. ideally after i already have a time and place.

i don’t think it’s an if question anymore. i think it’s a when.