#I don’t even know if they do that here I’m primarily in the art space

[sillyman-mp4]

Uploading my aot edits slowly on here will make more once I figure out a CapCut replacement

Idk if people even upload their edits on here but I trust this site more than instagram

[librarycards]

do you have any advice for trying to build/find a community? i’m autistic with pretty severe social anxiety and haven’t had friends since grade 5 (i’m 29 now). i don’t work atm and didn’t go to college due to ‘mental illness’ or whatever. i’m really clueless about how to find a support system or even make a friend but it sure would be beneficial right now i think

sure! a great way to start is to get on some of your local facebook pages, or even nextdoor - it can be a shitty place for neighborhood karens, but at least my local page has people talking about free stuff they're leaving on the curb, someone whose grandma needs a ride, a bake sale at the school, and even meetups dependent on age/interest/etc.

some more ideas, starting w the obligatory: GO TO THE LIBRARY! they have so much centralized info there. there is probably a book club, there is probably some kind of volunteer sign-up sheet. there are probably bored librarians who can help you find other stuff. at least in my area, there are also fairly regular non-university-affiliated things (i live in a college town) at local bars, cafes, and art spaces/studios - check to see if there are any local IG pages posting about these events. that's how i found out about a bunch of mine. libraries have events, too, as do local bookstores, and they're almost always free.

the suggestions i'm throwing out all have basically the same goal: mix with people you haven't met before. building bonds takes time, and the process only starts when you and someone else say hello to one another. you don't have to be besties ever. you don't necessarily have to stay close. but knowing one person who maybe likes the same book as you, or shares some other interest, leads to more people, and soon you know someone who has a car, someone who has an extra ironing board, someone who can host a get-together in their yard because everyone else is a renter. support systems aren't found. they're not easy or inevitable. they're built through collective engagement and practice! and they start, generally, by happenstance, when people put themselves in each others' way.

when i moved here alone in 2020, i met some of my now-closest friends not primarily through grad school events (which didn't happen bc of lockdowns and such) but through going to the park and saying hi outdoors; stocking food in our local free fridges, and meeting tinder-friend dates masked, 6 ft apart in random public places. we kept doing that and our relationships strengthened, as they do. these days, i meet people through the friends i have - through shared classes back when i was in coursework, through organizing/union stuff and volunteering, through the occasional social event i just kinda show up at and hope for the best. there's a degree of inertia to this stuff - it gets smoother the more you do it!

you are *NOT* the only person around you who needs a friend. i promise. people are really lonely and often scared to admit it, and this is a great time to connect with people who also feel the urgency of community + anxiety around making it happen.

[cornerstoreclown]

Helooo agaain :P this is not really a request (but feel free to write anything you want ) is more of a "how do you see this" i wanted to ask if you see Art capable of being vulnerable with the reader. Or even showing the itty bittiest amount of affection. I love to explore his character and not only read about the shallow exterior, but to explore a bit more than meets the eye yk? I feel like you capture that essence of him really well thats why i like your writing so much (sorry if i went off topic lol) bye bye 🫶🏻

Always glad to see you! And you truly have a way of flattering me. (It’s working 🙈❤️)

I do see Art as being capable of being vulnerable with the dear reader. I think that it really depends on their personality overall, but vulnerability with Art … It’s reminded me of a quote about Harley Quinn and Joker I read somewhere years ago in my teenage years.

Everyone’s seen the Joker laugh, only Harley has seen him cry. Now, I’m not saying Art has the capacity to cry, because I don’t think he has any functional tear ducts—crying here could be more figurative. Sadness does not always have to involve tears.

Everyone’s only ever seen Art smile and silently laugh. You have the privilege of seeing him when he’s not smiles. The reader has seen his other array of emotions that harken back to his humanity. Whenever he had it. Now how much of said humanity there was is up for debate.

And especially given the most recent movie? DHT believes that Art is now more dangerous than ever and I’m inclined to agree with him. Art is scared now. He’s now physically vulnerable. Our reader would get to see him scared. To the rest of the world he’s a cornered animal and willing to pull out all the stops to survive. And he will. But you’ve seen the fear in his eyes, that primal drive that lingers in every living creature that kickstarts us and fills us with the will and desire to live.

Affection with Art involves being able to share a space with him and not get your skull cracked in. I do see him as more on a grey ace spectrum as he’s primarily motivated by murder and mutilation, but you get intimacy every once in a blue moon. It’s not important to him compared to the joy and euphoria he gets in harming and eviscerating and killing others, but he’ll humor you—so as long as you’re okay with a little pain. Intimacy with him involves a bit of give and take. You can get some moments of tenderness and romance in exchange for your blood and pain and occasional suffering. It’s a very… sadomasochistic relationship and he’s going to drag you down into the deepest depths of hell with him. It’s about ruining you. He will literally be the end of you, but I suppose there’s something to be said for that level of devotion and love to jump for him, knowing what doom awaits you on the other side. You’re going to sacrifice every piece of yourself.

He’s a parasite who will devour you from the inside in the most thrilling, delicious, yet agonizing way possible. But at least he’s funny.

[ominouspuff]

Hey op. I really love your art and would love to learn more of your style

Do you perhaps stream or have tutorials? If not that's fine, I just wanna learn more about the breakdown of your pieces and such <3

Hi nom!

Thank you! I don’t do streams or tutorials, but I’m more than happy to share some here if you like. If you’ve got more specific questions, let me know.

In fair warning most of my work is based on intuition more than studies, so my ability to articulate any sort of process is limited.

Attempt to Articulate Process 1.0

1. I start with motion and shapes. My goal with this is to capture the tone and mood of the piece as a whole. (Since I nearly always feature a hyper-emphasized subject rather than multiple subjects or environment pieces, usually this part is shown in a person I am drawing and what they are doing/preoccupied with.)

Sometimes I use lines/line art to capture these, sometimes I just select parts of my canvas to block out in different colors or paint in broad, clean strokes.

Here’s an example of this in an old draft for @ddeck ‘s Jedi OC:

Breakdown: You can see I have used both lines (in the background skeleton you can still see traces of, as well as the face and shoulder of the clothes, defining finer details) and colors in blotted, blocky, or clean shapes (the majority of the subject). The motion lines are complimentary in opposing directions, shown in the blowing hair and growing vines. The gaze of the viewer is drawn by the perspective and focal points of finer details in the piece, complex shapes or lines (hands, face, seams in the clothes, etc.).

2. While finalizing my motions and shapes to build on, I pay attention to voids and contrasts for what’s being viewed/communicated to come through clearly at a glance:

The shape of a subject can be emphasized by rotating it or stylizing the shapes themselves to leave spaces where the background will come through (voids). I think of this a lot like carving clay, using perspective and paint/eraser alternating to get dramatic shapes. The colors used can be contrasted as well to emphasize depth of a subject. Here’s another example:

Breakdown: There are plenty of voids both large and small to carve out the shape of this OC creature from the background. Additionally, the color of the background and accents to the creature contrast strongly while emphasizing the motion in the piece, to carve that silhouette out even further. Fun-ish Fact: Sometimes I give the impression of lines without there being any, by leaving gaps in the base colors of the subject where line art would define the shape of, say, crossed arms or the contouring of a subject. Basically I use void lines instead of line art, sometimes.

Here’s an example of steps 1 & 2 in a piece I’m currently working on:

3. After that it’s just lighting, detailing, and shading all the way. Here’s where it usually gets wild for me, because I rarely approach this the same way. The one thing I always do is add another layer to repaint over what I had before.

I either paint in simple, broad, low-opacity strokes after selecting the parts of the subject I want to be affected by the color and texture I’m using, or in tiny, boldly solid strokes that come together for an impression. Here’s an example of each:

Primarily broad strokes:

Primarily detailed strokes, ad nauseam:

Worth Noting: Backgrounds aren’t my forte. For them, I tend to use broad strokes and focus on setting a mood with the colors, shapes, motion, and textures, and using both to highlight the shape of the subject. Sometimes I will throw in a little spice of details in the background for accents or symbolism, but usually I prefer if they’re geometric thematic mood-setters or flat color shapes. You can see this in all of the above examples.

This isn’t comprehensive, and all this is for my digital art pieces that don’t take as much time to make, but I hope it’s helpful as a starting reference.

Thanks again for asking!

[olderthannetfic]

oh, so looks like AI is again the hot topic of this blog?

here’s my thing: (“fuck AI disclaimer here”), I often see the sentiment of “I want AI to do my job/chores/etc, not my hobbies.” In fact, I believe there’s actually a pretty popular post about that? Can’t find it now lol but I saw that almost exact tweet used as a reaction image/post addition several times. And, sure! If there was a way to do that in an environmentally sound, completely passing the Turing test way, I’d agree!

but, um guys,… some of us DO have writing or art or whatever as our job. So by that logic, AI IS doing our job. Not in a good way of course. But I don’t know, it almost feels like people who are primarily hobbyists/fandom focused in their art or writing (which is totally fine, don’t get me wrong) are, without even realizing it, implying that writing or making art or whatever isn’t a job for some people.

Obviously I know that writers/artists/etc who do it as "just" a hobby are very aware that it's a career lol. And are indeed also often advocates for anti-Ai In the work place! Because they know it’s taking our careers away. But i just find it odd when ppl are like "i want Ai to do my LAUNDRY and my DISHES and my WORK! not my HOBBY! which is why AI ART IS BAD!" like… im not trying to be hostile because i truly will admit i am likely taking it way too personally and I KNOW that’s no one intent, but it kinda irritates me, yk?

Also, what do you mean by AI doing your job? You can’t be anti GPT in regards to fun writing, but pro GPT in regards to whatever bullshit customer service thing you have to write. Self checkout? Is AI, can’t imagine anyone is too offended by it. Those annoying, but mostly harmless, robot answering machines where you have to scream “CUSTOMER SERVICE REP” in order to get thru to anyone? AI. Chat bots that you “Talk to” during Off-hours when no one is actually available? AI. And way better AI than stupid GPT slop. Not fun, but definitely a bit more manageable.

So, yeah, there’s good AI. There’s bad AI. And for some, AI art IS ruining our hobby spaces… but for some, AI art IS indeed “replacing our jobs”. Which is not a good thing btw. also, I wanna add that I’m not vagueing or particularly pissed off at any other asker here. Mostly just venting in general. So I apologize if I come off as particularly hateful or if “making up a guy to get mad at”. It just upsets me to see people talking about “wanting AI to do their job not their hobby” when the AI they hate in question…. IS many people’s jobs. Like I said I KNOW I’m taking it way too personally and maybe even completely misinterpreting! But it just, ugh.

--

[chaosduckies]

Friends In Small Places (Chapter 1)

The size shifter story is finally here! This is more of a slightly sad piece, even though this first chapter isn’t really all that gloomy and monochrome, I actually have this entire plot line planned out and everything, and whew is the ending going to be something.

But I hope you enjoy! (this chapter is mainly just for introductions so I’m sorry if there really isn’t anything interesting TwT)

Word Count: 4.2k

CW: Depression, major anxiety, slight gore warning? (Though nothing actually happens)

1-Liam

Today the main hall was bustling with people crowding the board that had all of the activities and clubs posted on. Most of the time people didn’t care all too much about it, only the people who were actually in those clubs, but today was different for some reason. Fitting in between the seemingly hundreds of people, I saw what the commotion was all about. The psychology classes were all being called to a meeting at four. Which was when most classes ended, but still. It’s rare that this school ever calls meetings. It just so happens that I was taking psychology though. 

I sighed, moving back on the free sidewalk get to the library. A friend was waiting for me to help her study for a test she had in just a few hours. I thought I might as well help seeing that I’ve already taken the course. I used to think that college was extremely strict from how my old high school teachers described it, but in reality it’s not that hard when you just take the time to study and take a few practice tests the day before one. It was just two-and-a-half years before I major in psychology and become a therapist. Well, that was my dream anyways. In this world, it was a lot harder given that most therapists get assigned to a size shifter. That was something I didn’t want to do. Well, maybe if it was one who could only shrink, but that’s maybe it. It freaks me out knowing that there are some shifters who could be as tall as a small skyscraper, and some even bigger. A shiver ran down my spine even thinking about it. But that won’t happen. 

Among the few people sitting at the quiet tables lines with pencils, a few pieces of notebook paper, and a lamp that barely even worked, there was a girl waving her arms around aimlessly trying to gain my attention. I laughed softly before walking and sitting down next to her. It seemed she had been here for hours with how she kept her space. Papers spewed all across with scribbled down notes that was barely even legible, colored pens in a mixed mess with her other writing supplies. It made you wonder how she had even made it to college. 

“I see you’ve been hard at work, Rhya.” I set my slightly heavy bag down and started attempting to clean up the vast sums of paper all over the desk and try to keep her notes in order. 

“Yeah well, not everyone can be all neat and tidy as you are.” She lightly elbowed me before grabbing the stack of papers in my hand and shoving them in a folder. I guess she was going to re-do them after all. Either that or she didn’t need them. Despite this being primarily a nursing and health school, Rhya was in the art department. Of course she had to take the core classes along with her own elective, but she plans on becoming a graphic designer. 

“It’s not my fault I know how to study and you don’t.” I joked around, watching her pull out her computer and grab a few empty pages on notebook paper and her calculus book. 

“And it’s not my fault you don’t know how to have any fun.” She stuck her tongue out playfully before pulling up a practice test. 

“Hey I know how to have fun, just not when I know I have better things to worry about.” She solved the first problem right, pumping her fist up in the air as she wrote down the question and highlighted everything she needed to do. I’m also guessing she planned to study whatever notes she was making. 

“I guess you have a point. How’s that psychology major coming along?” She had asked, writing down the problem and attempting to solve it. I sighed, pointing to the number she was missing, “You square root that,” Rhya groaned, “It’s going good. We have some kind of weird meeting later today though.” 

“Oh? Do you know what about?” Rhya asked, but I could tell she was hiding something from me. She knew something. 

“No. Do you?” I skeptically looked at her, earning a side eye right back as she had paused her writing for a moment. 

“Would you believe me if I said no?” She grumbled, I shook my head, a slight smile forming on my face. She knew I would win this argument. 

“Okay well, this might not be true, but I heard that a few psychology students were chosen to have a training. Like, the real deal kind of thing. Size shifter and all. That the ones chosen were supposed to act like one of those special therapists.” My heart nearly skipped a beat at the news. Where did she even hear this from in the first place? There’s no way that’s even real. 

“You’re kidding, right?” I laughed nervously. Even if it was true, I doubt they’d choose a sophomore. I’ve only really had a few practices and I still have a couple more years until I become the real deal. 

“Would I lie to you?” She turned to me, a worried look on her face. Did she think I would have to go through with that? I sincerely doubt it. There was no way they’d put me on whatever list they have going on. Maybe my upperclassman though. They could choose Chelsey, she was really good with everyone and a senior. They’d most likely choose her. Maybe even Ryan since he was really experienced. Actually, he was a size shifter himself, but he’s so good at controlling his emotions that he doesn’t even need to worry about accidentally shooting up a couple feet. 

“Ah, it doesn’t matter. I doubt they choose someone with barely any experience. Don't’ worry about it.” I smiled, pointing back to Rhya’s computer to tell her that she needed to get to studying and stop worrying about me. Seriously, she really needed to study otherwise she was going to fail. I can almost guarantee that she’ll be crying to me later when she fails her test. Not my fault she doesn’t study. 

——————

The gym was a large space, but our entire class only took up one tiny portion of the bleacher space as our instructor and several other people dressed up in fancy suits were talking on the ground. I sat next to Ryan, who was playing with the green-colored band on his wrist, showing that he was in one of the five classes of size shifters. Purple represented that they could shrink down to an inch or maybe even smaller if their emotions had the better of them. Blue represented that they could shrink too, but not as much as the one’s with a purple wrist. Green represented that they could both shrink and grow, but only to a certain height. Yellow meant that the shifter could grow to be the size of about a small building, or maybe even a little more depending on how they’re feeling. Red was by far the worst one. To me at least. The shifter’s with a red band can grow to heights you could only dream of. Which was why all shifters with a red band were all forced to be with a specialized therapist for only them. Because if they lose control of their emotions, it could end pretty badly.  

“I’m glad you all saw the announcement on the board. I’m a little surprised really.” Mr. Smith shoved his hands in his front pant pockets, taking a look at all of us before his eyes laid on me, smiling warmly. Why? Something was up. 

“These two gentlemen here are the head of the SSU. Also known as the company that helps size shifters in need. Recently, there has been a shortage of individuals that are willing to work with shifters in helping them control themselves. These two are on the look for candidates-in-training to help fill those missing spots.” 

The two men in suits walked to the front, holding out a clipboard. Those had whoever was going to be picked for this. But why this school? There was another college not too far from here. They could choose from them. Unless they were, and the “tiny” shortage was actually a big one. Or… no. They wouldn’t do that, right? It’s the SSU, they’ve literally helped the world become safer for decades. They wouldn’t be doing an experiment, would they? 

“It’s wonderful to see all sixty-two of you young scholars gathered here today. As your professor already said, we are both from the head office at SSU looking for the best of the best to fill in those empty spots, regardless if you do or don’t have any experience.” That last part made a shiver run down my spine. Ryan turned his head to me, patting me on the back. There was no way they’d choose a nobody like me. No way in hell. 

“This list contains twenty of you who will be taking part in this. You will be in charge of taking care of your designated partner until we can find a professional replacement suited well enough to take over. If I call your name, please stay behind after we dismiss everyone.” The tall man smiled, looking down at the clipboard and calling several names. The anxiety pricked my skin like icicle shards, it had almost seemed like the man reading off names was speaking in slow motion. A few deep breaths, and it was back to normal. 

“Ryan Wright.” He smiled while earning several compliments and congratulations from his fellow classmates. 

“Chelsey Torres.” She giggled a few seats away from us. 

“And Liam Rover.” 

My muscles tensed up at the mention of my name. I couldn’t tell if my heart had stopped or if it was just beating horrifyingly fast. I could tell people were trying to praise me, but I couldn’t hear, their appraisal only reaching my ears in a muffled and slow manner. I managed the most sincere smile I could while trying to hide how much I was trembling. Maybe this would be okay? Maybe I’ll be lucky and not be paired up with a shifter who could potentially crush me between two if their fingers if they really wished to. Was the room cold or was it just me? 

“Everyone else may head to their dorms. Thank you for coming.” 

After everyone had filed out of the empty gym, the other shorter man dressed in an identical suit as the taller one started calling out our names all over again, handing them a red folder with presumedly the shifter we’ll be assigned. Was this how it was when you’re actually a professional? You just get assigned to one? You don’t get to know them or anything? 

Once I was handed my folder, I dreaded every single second of opening it. Please let it be easy, please let it be easy, please let it be eas-

Oh. 

It was only a picture of who we were partnered up with and anything that might be worth mentioning about them. Wow was I overreacting. Then again, that didn’t exactly smoothen out the anxiety that was still pricking at my skin. Though, this shifter didn’t seem so bad. If anything, he actually looked pretty nice. The only thing I had noticed was that he was diagnosed with depression. He kind of looked like it too if I were being honest. It seemed hard for him to smile for the picture. Why did I also get the hint that he wasn’t feeling very good either? I guess I’ll find out when we officially meet. 

“Inside you’ll find who your partner will be for the foreseeable future. You’ll still be coming to your classes, which was why we mainly wanted to stick with the upperclassmen, and afterward go back to where we are currently housing your designated shifter. You have three days to pack everything you need and want, and you’ll soon be living off campus. Just think of it was having a roommate that needs constant supervision.” 

Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. I’m almost entirely confident that this shifter won’t really be a big deal. I mean, he looks about a year or two younger than me. So he just graduated high school? Agh, I have no idea. I’m just jumping to conclusions. But, hopefully they won’t make me handle anything crazy. That I can’t do. 

——————

They were driving me across the city to go meet up with the shifter I’ll be taking care of for however long. For all I know it could be a few days or weeks. I would think someone would want to step up for the job instead of letting students do this, but I guess not. Chelsey and Ryan have texted me a few times that they were getting settled in already while I was still heading over. It was already around thirty minutes just to get across the place, so that means I’ll have to take a bus almost everyday just to make it to my classes. That’s just great, but I’m in no position to complain. I actually tried talking with Professor Smith about it, but he told me that he had no say in the matter at all, which was weird. I doubt he would want his younger students to even take part in this. 

Along the streets were the many, many buildings that both accommodated for humans and their much larger or smaller companions. Although I’ve only ever been around Ryan about twice when he’s giant, it really wasn’t that bad. He can only grow till someone was like the height if his entire hand so it really wasn’t even that bad. Of course it’s still nerve-racking, but I trust him. Plus, we were at a small party with our little friend group. I doubt he could even bring himself to hurt someone. So really I wasn’t too worried. The only other shifter I’ve been around is an old high school friend of mine, but she goes to a different college now. 

Hundred of houses passed by us as we drove into a little neighborhood. What really made me worried was that the driver wasn’t exactly stopping at the normal-sized houses. Where was he going? I watched grimly as some of the huge houses we passed by came to a halt to one on the very end of one of the many streets. This one wasn’t as big as the other one’s down the street, but it wasn’t exactly small either. At least to me. So… I was paired up with a shifter who could only grow. That’s great. Just… great. 

I grabbed my bag and the small suitcase I had brought with me that was just full of my clothes and some stuff for school. Well if I’m supposed to stay here almost all of the time now I have to find something to keep me busy. And apparently from the immense size difference that will be between my new roommate and I. Of course I was terrified! If he really is diagnosed with depression and was a shifter who grew that only made matters worse for me. I hope whoever plans to take over for me does it soon. 

It took me and the driver to reach the doorstep, but eventually the driver gave it a knock. I swear I could hear some mumbling coming from the other side, but I didn’t dwell too much on that. Most.y because the extremely large door started to open slowly, but I saw no one on the other side. Maybe he was shy? 

“Well I may take my leave, though I have been ordered to tell you that a bus comes in the morning at around 6 just down the street from here, and another will take you back here around 5 and 8. Also, if anything goes wrong, to call this number on your phone.” He handed me a folded slip of paper, then took his leave. I shoved the slip in my pocket, hesitantly taking a few steps into the huge house. 

It was neatly cleaned around the place, though I couldn’t really see from my view on the ground. Everything around me was huge. I mean I’ve been to one of the rooms on the bigger side of the campus, but those rooms were smaller. It’s not an entire house filled with furniture. 

As I took a few steps out more, I jumped when the door had lightly closed behind me. My eyes trailed up and up, finding the face of the person I had seen in the picture. His eyes grew wide when I met his gaze, then bit the bottom of his lip before sliding his back against the wall behind him. 

Everything in my body told me to run, but if I did then I would only get scolded for it later. This isn’t even what I wanted to be! I wanted to be a normal therapist that helps regular adults and kids feel better. Not a human who could easily trap me in a fist and just kill me. I would have been fine if they could only shrink, but this was much worse. 

I faced down, taking a few deep breaths that barely even help me in this situation. I had to take care of someone fifty times my own size? How was that even possible? There weren’t even any smaller sized things around this place. Nothing that could help me get around easier either! 

I guess I could attempt to get his name. I mean, nothing could go wrong then, right? Just maybe from a distance… even if he could, at any point in time, just grab me whenever he so wanted. I felt sick just thinking about being held. Wouldn’t I have to be though? I can’t exactly just climb everywhere I want to go. 

“H-hi. Um, I’m Liam.” I forced myself to walk closer, even under his gaze, but I stopped walking closer when he moved himself further in the corner, looking a bit saddened. He probably knew I was scared. Maybe. I hope I’m some-what hiding it well enough. Though, I’ve never really been that good at it. 

“Oh, um, C-Casper. You can call me Cas if you want.” He kept his voice to a very quiet whisper. So he knew that if he talked too loud it would hurt my ears. At least he’s self-aware. Though, I couldn’t help but feel bad. I may be utterly terrified of him, but I mean he hasn’t really given me a reason to be truly scared, yet. 

“Nice to m-meet you, Cas.” I put on my best fake genuine smile. What? Have to find some way to convince him I wasn’t scared. Even if my body was trembling like crazy and my heart threatened to just come right out of my mouth. 

“Y-you too, sir.” His hand slightly twitched, but he just shook his head, giving me a sad look. ‘Sir?’ Why did he call me that? I didn’t dwell on it. Instead, I turned to look at the place, not finding a place to put my stuff. I sighed, hurrying to place it up against the wall opposite of Cas. This would be fine. Yeah, yeah. 

Casper, overall, seemed pretty nice. He had a black, messy hair that complimented his light-brown eyes. He wore a baggy long-sleeve shirt with a pair of jeans I have no idea why he was just wearing jeans in his own house, but it’s whatever he wants to do. Not my place to comment. The only real thing that caught my attention were the light bags in his eyes. Has he been sleeping? 

“Did you want to come here? Like, willingly?” He had asked, slightly leaning a little closer to my spot in the middle of the floor. I admit, it made me a little uneasy, but I don’t think he realized it. It just made it really hard to answer his question when all I could think about was how easily he could kill me right now. He wouldn’t do that, right? He seems so nice. Even if I’m barely two inches to him and I could easily just be crushed or accidentally killed if he wasn’t being too mindful. I shuddered at the thought, but forced my voice to work with me. 

“I-I’m just a student at a college. They just told us we were going to help out shifters, for like, real-world training I guess.” I started speaking a little fast and I could hear my voice slowly get quieter the more Cas seemed to lower his body to me. I felt so small compared to him. It’s overwhelming really, but it’s not like I can just back out. I already asked and they said if I did then I wasn’t cut out to stay in the classes. Seriously, all I wanted was to either be a therapist or a social worker. Not take on these huge responsibilities of making sure an entire living being is doing okay and doesn’t have any malicious intent to just… Aghhhh. 

“Oh. Well, I’m not exactly the best person to be paired up with.” He laughed sadly, holding up his wrist and revealing a red band. A little squeak left my mouth as I stood in place, practically frozen in fear. Why did they pair me up with him? They gave me more than I can handle. There was no way I could do this. I bit the side of my cheek, struggling to keep my composure. 

Cas caught onto my fear, scooting as far away from me as he could while making sure I wouldn’t freak out. Why did he move away? I was going to be fine. I think- But I was okay. Just as long as I keep a certain distance from him for a while. It takes me a long time to adjust to new things, and this might take me a while, but I couldn’t just do nothing. It was obvious to me that Cas was afraid of something, I just couldn’t figure out what just yet. 

“I’m fine, Cas, I promise.” I nervously smiled, hiding how terrified I was. Shifters with a red band can grow to heights you could only dream of. Great. Seriously, what have they done? They think I can handle someone who already looks like he’s struggling to keep himself together just by meeting me? I didn’t really want to find out what would happen if he doesn’t contain his emotions. Was there a person partnered up with him before? I knew I wasn’t going to be getting any answers, but there was no harm in asking them. 

“O-Okay,” He whispered, getting in a more comfortable sitting position, “Are you sure though? I don’t mind giving you an hour or two to get used to… everything.” He looked away for a second, and I could tell something was on his mind. Along with the constant moving away every time I had tried to walk closer, or when he knew I was scared of him, I would think to say that he’s scared of himself. Or, at least hurting other people. It makes sense actually. I’ve heard stories that a lot of shifters realize that they can really hurt people and just try their hardest not to interact with people smaller than themselves. It’s like they collapse on themselves since they don’t want to hurt anyone. I guess Cas and I weren’t so different. 

“Okay, look, it’s obvious that you’re more afraid of yourself than I am of you,” Cas’s eyes widened, “How about we both try to help each other out? I’ll keep trying if you do.” I held out my hand without thinking. A compromise between the two of us. I know we both met like five minutes ago, but I’m pretty sharp for people my age with little experience. But, honestly, maybe this wasn’t so bad. I think all that Cas wanted was the relief that he won’t hurt people. Or something like that. 

“You’d go through with all that? I’m not exactly mentally stable.” I could tell that he was worried, but I just nodded my head, a genuine smile on my face that I hoped he could see. 

He eyed my hand for a while, and I still hadn’t realized what was wrong until he lightly pinched my hand between the tip of his pointer and thumb, barely even lifting it up and down for my own sake. Oh he has no idea how scared I was right now, but he didn’t have to know that. Just a little more pressure and he could just yank my arm right off-I shook that thought away. Don’t think about that right now. It would be okay. Just as long as I get an idea of what to do when he does eventually lose control or something. I had zero idea. I think the thought that stuck in the back of my mind was making me more worried than anything really. I’m just a stress toy for him. But I’ll just have to get over my fear. There was no way I would let this stop me from graduating. Not in a million years.

——————

Sorry for a slightly boring chapter! I did a LOT of world building for this one, and had to map out almost every single interaction through the course of the entire story plot. There also wasn’t much g/t but again, it’s just an introduction chapter. (I’m doing what I love and no one can stop me hehehe-)

But I hope you enjoyed reading! I promise the second chapter will have a much, much better g/t interaction. (Oh trust me it will >:3) I hope you all have a great day/night!

[vannyisinsanity]

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1. Intro:

Hiii!!! - I am a cis woman (she/her) in my late 20s who is a Terrifier enthusiast. I am bisexual with a preference for women, and I am diagnosed autistic/adhd +. (I wont be yappin much about this as it gets exhausting to restrict my humanness to labels of any kind.)

This blog is multi-fandom/selfship/yumeship primarily with Sienna Shaw from the Terrifier series. I started self shipping myself with her during Terrifier 3, but I will from time to time reblog some stuff from Terrifier 1 + 2. I also self ship with my other fictional crushes, though not as much. This is a NSFW blog, so please be 18+. Mostly this is just a chill safe space for me to gush mainly about my yandere women boyfriends and occasionally my baby boy wives. I also ship Ronance (Robin x Nancy from ST) and Zadison (Zoe x Madison from AHS) - I might occasionally post about them.

This is also a safe space for all of MY hyperfixations. I do not like pro/anti discourse and I do not exist to appease you and your tastes or opinions. If you don’t like that, don’t interact. I won’t list all my fandoms, but I enjoy many video games, shows, movies, animes, mangas, horror/gore, fantasy, and science fiction medias. Fiction is often my way to cope and express myself so be mindful of that while interacting with me.

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2. About me:

I like the 80s, anime, writing, making music, oil painting, thrifting, dark room + analog photography, and drawing expressionism + surrealism portraits. I have a weird obsession with clowns. I play a lot of Overwatch, Fortnite, Phasmophobia, Pokemon, and Stardew Valley (I play other things but I play a lot of those). My favorite author is Iain M Banks (I have the entire culture series collection), and my favorite book genre is sci-fi, though I also enjoy horror, poetry, classics, memoirs, mangas, and theology. I am bias to female solo artists like Halsey, Grimes, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, but I also love 80s, witch house, and necrotrap. I enjoy horror franchises like American Horror Story, FNAF, Terrifier, and Halloween. I love Attack on Titan and I am currently collecting the manga box sets. I also enjoy Game of Thrones, but hate what they did to Daenerys. :,) (I will grieve forever). Thai girls love dramas are also cool :3

I love love love clowns, and if you can’t tell, i’m pretty bias to villains (and or) mentally ill characters. Of course I studied psychology as a result -.- …

Moreover, anything that I post about is fiction. I am not listing all of my ideologies here either, but just know that I believe that everyone deserves freedom, acceptance, peace, and lack of violence/bullying - even the people you don’t like. That being said, I DO NOT agree with any real harm towards others, especially children and animals. Keep that far away from me. Other than that, I have no dni. It’s your life, you do what you want with it. Oh and by the way, I know these mfs aren’t real - that’s the point. Don’t be weird or make this distressing for me.

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3. About my self insert (Sunny Joy Clover):

(Warning, Terrifier [1,2,3] spoilers ahead)

Lore:

T1. - Sunny (my Terrifier s/i) grew up on an affluent farm with her loving mother and her controlling father. In an attempt to get away from familial dysfunction, Sunny's mom moved them to the suburbs. Sunny's mom befriended Sienna's canon aunt Jess Shaw a year after moving to the suburbs (much to her dad's dismay), as he heard about the "trouble" that the Shaw family brings. The move happened the year before Art became active in the area in movie 1. Sienna and Sunny first meet that summer before Art begins to terrorize Sienna. Timeline wise, think of this as the Terrifier 1, before we meet Sienna on screen in the 2nd movie. They spend a bit of time here and there hanging out, but not much. Sunny is mostly seen as a family "friend".

T2. - By the 2nd Terrifier movie, Sunny begins babysitting Sienna's younger cousin Gabby for some extra money. It's that summer that Sienna and Sunny grow even closer. That is until Sienna is sent to a psychiatric hospital (cannon) towards the end of the second movie. She's there for 5 years, until the T3 movie. During that time away, Sunny writes to her for years. In between releases, they tend to hang out and share deep talks. Sienna grows semi-affectionate towards Sunny, as she's the only one that really listens to her. Sienna also sends Sunny these drawings from her sketchbook and entries from her diary. However, Sunny stops writing back just before her 18th birthday. Leading up to this, Sunny is the only one that takes the time to try and understand Sienna. She spends a lot more time with her than the other people in her life who genuinely seem disinterest and "burdened" by her problems.

T3. - Five years later during Terrifier 3 (canon time jump), Sunny's 18th birthday approaches. Sienna is excited because it's the first birthday in a long time that they get to spend together. However, Sunny mysteriously disappears into the hell pit, where she later finds Gabby (who canonically disappears in the hell pit at the end of T3.) Sienna feels sad about Sunny's absence, and assumes she must be better off without her (heartbreaking.)

T4. (TBD) - In the 4th movie (yet to be released), I assume Sienna at least rescues Gabby. However, she also finds Sunny - with nobody having any idea why she was wanted down there in the first place (to be continued.) If they kill my man, I will riot !!!

Family Background: Her mother is named Garden Jane Clover and her father's name is Rain Walter Clover. She has a younger brother named Cloudy who died on Easter Sunday when he was 4 because he drowned - in relation to me irl, this is symbolic of the trauma l began to experience around 3-4, although not written in an entirely personal way. It is written in a way that is expressed through the character in her own original way. Like me, however, this impacts how she relates to love and intimacy. It affects how she makes friends and trusts others moving forward.)

Both Sunny and Sienna can relate to one another, and Sienna deeply understands just how significant taking things slow with Sunny is. She wants to be the one person who doesn't hurt her or judge her for showing up how she is. She'd never leave Sunny the way other people have.

Sunny wouldn't push Sienna away because she shuts down. Sienna would encourage Sunny to let go of those who hurt her, and in return Sunny would teach Sienna how to hold onto what truly matters without sacrificing herself.

Likes: Music, pink, baby blue, yellow, legos, Peter Pan, pirate ships, circuses, victorian dresses, blue jean 90s overalls, bunnies, duckling (pet named Tulip), picnics, tea parties, Alice in Wonderland, horror movies, balloons (especially the orange and purple ones), animatronics like FNAF/Chuck-E-Cheese (idk why but this makes sense), spiders, gummy worms, rainbows, the 4th of july and halloween, clowns, butterflies, stuffed animals, The Sound of Music movie, baking fresh cookies.

Dislikes: Rain, winter (but likes Christmas), fear of water (often seen in a rain coat just in case), sports, ice cream, eating meat, snow, anything that can melt, the color grey, concerts, lady bugs, popcorn ("prefer jelly beans and potato chips during a movie"), rollercoasters, busy cities.

Appearance: Literally me lol - but think lots of clown core/kid core aesthetics. I try to make us very similar, but different enough to be able to insert her into the Terrifier universe comfortably. I like bringing my character to life and writing little quirks that make her “her”.

Current AUs in the works here

Stranger Things AU promo here

^ veeeerrrryyy [clownkisser🤡💋] coded. ~

probably somewhere cleaning my really brave girlfriend’s wounds.——————————————————————————————————

4. List of my (Current) F/O + crushes:

Ultimate/Primary (non sharing):

- Sienna Shaw - Terrifier 3

^ I am completely non sharing with Sienna

No doubles on this one, I beg of you. I will block doubles or AU(s) + fic(s) authors that conflict with mine. I write what I write for the prioritization of myself and my own comfort/expression.

This by no means is me trying to discourage writers and artists from creating original works. I am anti-censorship and encourage you to creatively engage with the media(s) you like. I know I do not own the franchise. However, I’m also not sacrificing my safe space by entertaining conflicting pieces of fiction over my blorbo. Goodbye.

Ship name Clown Kisser -> tag = clownkisser🤡💋

Crushes: (sharing 90% of the time, honestly?):

- Brooke Thompson - American Horror Story 1984

- Scarlett Winslow (Rubber woman) - American Horror Stories

- Clark Kent - DC Universe

- Villanelle - Killing Eve

- Vanessa/Vanny - Five Nights at Freddy’s

- Love Quinn - YOU

- Michael Myers - Halloween

- Angela Ziegler - Overwatch

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5. Comfort Characters:

My 3 favorite non romantic characters are Geronimo Stilton, Bojack Horseman, and Jake from Adventure Time.

I do not ship myself with them, but I have a sickly obsession with them that makes my heart go boom boom boom. They mean so so so so so much to me, the goobers. Look at the mouse in space. Look at the feminist horse. Would you just look at the puppy with a sandwich !!! <3 All of them …..? may be alcoholics…

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6. Sienna Shaw (my man, my man, my man):

List of Sienna canon interests

List of Sienna head canons (I will add as I go)

Also, both me (like actually me) and Sienna have experienced extreme grief. I am drawn to her so much because she has tragically lost her family in her teen/early adults years, as have I. If you’re interested in my very personal grief analysis:

Here is part 1

Here is part 2

Anyways, I love love love my fictional girlfriend who I touch like my boyfriend to da moon and back. If you don’t like horror/gore, complex characters, villains, or anti-censorship - then this blog isn’t for you, and that is okay <3

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL BOYFRIEND -

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7. Outro:

^ Currently blasting this while kicking my feet in the air giggling over my fictional lover who has anger issues and deep rooted traumas.

PSA - Please feel free to be my mutual/friend. I’m super nice and I really love to talk with & see other self shippers with their F/O(s) !!! Ship & let ship. x ~

- Sunshine ☀️ xoxo

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[ceruleankitkats]

Made an about page because of recent interactions and concerns.

please read carefully.

It's not visible on mobile, so here's the whole thing under the cut.

FAQ, TOS, and General Info

About Me

Hello! My name is Bloo (26, any pronouns)

I like to draw! I like making colorful and cute art, especially with the color blue.

My interests vary a lot and I change focus often. Don’t follow me for specific fandom or interests, you may be disappointed.

I’m prone to typos and I boost my own art often.

didn’t think i’d need to make a DNI but i was proven wrong

I don’t want any proship/incest/pedophilia/noncon fans interacting with me or my work. Please block me and move on!

Bloopy

This is my mascot, his name is Bloopy. He is not me. He’s a chocolate kiss puppy. He hates my guts.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you take requests?

Depends on my free time and mood! I usually make posts when I’m open to take requests, although I always specify that I’m picky and that I will favor things that I want to draw (this is usually limited to people’s OCs and my current interests).

What do you use to make your art?

I have a XP Pen Artist12 (2nd gen) screen tablet and Clip Studio Paint!

For animations I flip between Photoshop, Photopea, and AnimeEffects, I rarely use CSP for animation.

What’s with your username?

For all my usernames I pick a shade of blue + chocolate. I like blue and chocolate.

Why didn’t you answer my ask?

I primarily use Tumblr Mobile, and sometimes it doesn’t work! I don’t ignore asks on purpose.

Can I repost your work?

No.

I cross post on my Bluesky and sometimes on my VGen, and you can just reblog my work here. I do not want my work anywhere else, even if you credit me. Please respect this.

Can I use your work as an icon header/banner/etc.?

Yes!

As long as you credit me, I;m fine with that. However, I do not permit the use of my own OCs for use in RP/Profile customization.

Uh oh! I saw your art posted somewhere else.

Thanks for letting me know! If the username is Blookisses, Mootloot, Azuresixlets, or Ultramarinetwix, those are my other accounts and you shouldn’t worry. If you see any other blogs that don’t follow my color + chocolate naming scheme, just see if the account lists @blookisses as the main, its most likely me.

If it isn’t any of the usernames i listed or doesn’t say that its one of my side accounts please report any reposted art.

—

Terms of Service

USE

Commissioners DO NOT have the right to mint/sell my commissions, fanart, or original artwork, reprint/distribute for profit, or to claim my work as their own.

Nothing made by me may be used in any blockchain-related technology, including NFTs, Cryptocurrency, AI art, or future inventions in this space. You cannot use my design to promote or encourage Hate Speech such as transphobia, homophobia, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. You cannot encourage topics like incest nor pedophilia with my art nor character designs.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS

All fanart and art depicting original characters belong to their creator. I own the right to my work and will be credited as the artist for any work I create.

I retain the rights to every image I produce. All commissions are for personal use only, unless otherwise specified.

WILL DRAW

furries/anthro

bare chest/partial nudity

ships/couples

blood/mild gore

WILL NOT DRAW

real people/portraits/RPF

complete nudity (no genitals)/NSFW

large crowds

complicated backgrounds/objects

complicated machinery/mechs

offensive/bigoted material

incest/pedophilia/kinks/etc.

[riiarichu]

hello i am asking about cynte’s lore. i’m very interested in the war vet part. how do you think he got into parasitology? and anything else with his lore you wanna talk about too

— @end0parasitic

Let’s start off by saying that I don’t lump Mizzizz other game with the same timeline of Endoparasitic, so if the headcannons wouldn’t make sense within that worlds universe, it’s because I don’t see Endoparasitic as part of that world.

I will also be sharing the events of Cynte’s life in chronological order.

With that out of the way…

Cynte never had a, per se, good childhood. He had good foster parents here and there, but, he always knew he was just being used by them.

For example, some foster parents just wanted to fill the hole of their dead child or their unborn baby, so they used his presence to fill it.

Other parents just used him for the money the foster care system gave them. They wouldn’t use it on him, of course. They used that money to pay their bills, or to buy unneeded material possessions. His biological parents, well, they’re of course the reason why Cynte’s in that position. They never laid a finger on him. But they didn’t need to. They used their only son as emotional support. Draining everything from him.

So, he never really grew up with much.

Naturally, when he learned about parasites… he made a few connections. He suddenly understood what the people in his life were. He understood why everyone used him. They were parasites, just like those little bugs and worms. He became obsessed, researching them at every chance he got.

The second he learned about parasitology, however… it became his life’s goal to become the best parasitologist. He wanted to be the BEST person alive who could ‘eradicate’ parasites. Was it for his own trauma recovery, or was it because he wanted to prove something? He doesn’t know, really. It’s something he’d have to speak to a therapist about. But, Cynte doesn’t think he needs therapy— or rather, a therapist doesn’t need him.

He was already great at school—he was a topper, even. So, naturally, he took out a scholarship to an elite school across the nation. They had everything— physics, chemistry, engineering, art, world history… and parasitology as a major. So, naturally, he decided to major in parasitology, and minor in chemistry and biology.

…

But, halfway through the second year…

A devastating blood war broke out between the United States and Iraq.

It wasn’t fought on what America would usually fight on— for example, countless African countries, small nations…

It was primarily fought on American and Iraqi soil.

He got a heavy knock on his dorm door.

He was drafted.

So, they shaved his head, put him in heavy gear, and he was flown across the world to be deployed in Iraq. (Of course after everything else they had to do to him.)

After killing hundreds of Iraqi soldiers, and accidentally killing civilians in the process, stepping on landmines and having to defuse them before he stepped off, seeing left and right, physically tasting blood, seeing blood coat the snow, using machine guns to obliterate everyone and everything in his path…

He grew desensitized to killing. He became desensitized to illness, to his own injury, to being in small, dirty, claustrophobic spaces, he’s performed emergency self surgery and even amputated one of his fellow soldiers arms…

All things that would’ve seemed unimaginable before just became second nature.

One night, at their base, they were ambushed. Cynte wasn’t wearing his war uniform, so many things were exposed.

He was shot countless times in his chest. Anyone probably would have died, but he couldn’t seem to. Most others were killed in the process, but not him. He carried that with him. (Also it left a PRETTY nasty scar on his chest that never healed well.)

After 4 years of war in Iraq, the war was over, Iraq surrendered and America won.

Cynte was never given the full details of why he even went to war. Well, besides some propaganda, but he was smart enough to know that wasn’t the real reason. He came to the conclusion that there was no reason, besides the respective governments wanting to see bloodshed, and they wanted another war win in the history books.

Anyhow, he was finally done with war, and he wanted to get back into his schooling.

He finished the rest of his university without a hitch, and even took three additional years for extra knowledge.

A few extra things that don’t really matter but may or may not matter at the same time (???)

After leaving the military, he grew out his hair to distance himself from it. Even though he was desensitized to the violence itself, he still didn’t want to have any ties to a useless war.

He lives black coffee. As tasteless and bitter as you can make it. “It’s not about flavor, you dunce. It’s about energy.”

He is perpetually tired. All the time.

He literally just ate the bare minimum to survive. “Food doesn’t fuel you, the gods of science and my own damn willpower does, you fool.”

He is definitely gay, like very very gay. He thinks men are hot, he wouldn’t mind being under one *insert Lenny face* and he is just gay.

He never really disliked Praví. He himself always saw it as “friendly competition” but since he’s so socially handicapped, he has no clue that Praví genuinely thought Cynte hated him.

He was never really a “bad person” until after what happened with Karis.

What happened with karis? Well, someone heard Cynte and Karis’s… um… personal moments or something and reported it to the research board. Karis wasn’t allowed to notify Cynte or be around him until he was forced to move to the arkship. Leaving Cynte feeling upset. He didn’t feel used, but he was so confused. Well, someone eventually told him why Karis had to leave, and he immediately blamed Praví. He didn’t know why, but he had a feeling it was Praví’s fault. (Spoiler, it wasn’t praví’s fault.)

Cynte’s last name is Klein. (Not pronounced “CLEAN”, but pronounced “kl * ai * nn” “ein” pronounced as in Einstein.)

Cynte is of German decent 🇩🇪 but he doesn’t have a German accent (obviously, he’s a deep throated guy man

He genuinely loved Karis. So much so that he was even considering a legal marriage once they could leave the asteroid.

MF was caught day dreaming about that silly little doctor a few times.

[jacksonturnerart]

Welcome!

For my first post on this site I thought it would be nice to share some of my first digital art projects, specifically my final exhibition project before I graduated.

For my final exhibition I did a bunch of digital art pieces as well as an animation (once I figure out how to post videos on here I'll share it.) I had the digital artworks printed as posters and had the animation play on a projector screen. My project consisted of the glimpses of the daily lives of three characters I designed with the hopes of giving the viewers an idea of their relationships between each other, how they live, and their personalities and interests.

This is Gabe. He shares an apartment with his boyfriend Beck and his roommate Michelle. He also dyes his hair frequently. When making the bedrooms I wanted them to look lived in order for them to feel more personal to the viewers. (I messed up the coloring on the guitar so it looks like he has a boner, I fixed it though for my portfolio.)

Michelle is an aspiring sculptor who likes to tackle themes of girlhood and femininity in her work. She likes to work with found objects. As an artist myself I obviously wanted to have an artist character, even if I don’t do sculpture myself. (I honestly kinda suck at it, at least when working with things like clay and stuff but my sculpture class was pretty fun.

Gabe and Michelle also perform music together on the side. They perform under the name PRISMABOMB! and primarily make experimental dance-punk music with electronic elements. I imagine their music being a cross between Le Tigre and Guerilla Toss sound wise.

Here is Beck being affectionately embraced by Gabe. This piece is kinda self explanatory. I actually used a posing app for a lot of these as reference and it really paid off. I like making dynamic poses even if it is difficult at times.

Here is Gabe, Michelle, and Beck together in their apartment bathroom. I actually had a lot of fun picking different hair colors for Gabe so I thought it would just make sense to also include one depicting him dying his hair. It was such a small detail but I had a lot of fun playing with that along with giving everyone different outfits.

Another picture of the trio celebrating New Years. I didn’t want the picture to quickly date itself so I thought it would be a funny visual gag to have the numbers on the New Years glasses be two question marks. So if you’re somehow looking at this in the year 2100 or later, why? I mean I’ll probably be dead by then so you won’t be able to explain it but I hope you like my work.

Here’s Beck’s bedroom. Beck is an aspiring dancer, with that in mind I just had to make a piece involving those giant mirrors you see in dance floor practice spaces. While I’ve never taken a formal class I always loved dancing. It was really fun to play with the reflection and utilize my interests into a piece of artwork, also just seeing Michelle looking irritated in the reflection was just a funny thing to see.

Beck and Michelle chatting with each other on the curb outside of the bar and record store. I originally had a lot of trouble doing the bricks so I’m glad I was able to find a way to make them look nice.

Michelle has finished her sculpture At The End of Girlhood and is viewing it at the gallery. Honestly having a call back to a previous work in the exhibition was something I thought was really cute and helped make both artworks feel more personal.

Woah... that was a lot.

Well you better brace yourselves because I have WAY more work and blogs to post. You know, diversifying your social medias and stuff.

[the1975attheirverybest]

To/for all fanfic readers and writers, with lots of love ❤️:

Hey friends 💗 so, as many of you already know, a lot of fans (many of them fanfic writers) have been leaving tumblr lately and our community has been affected by a lot of negativity and stress for the compounding effects of multiple reasons. Though this is by no means the ONLY reason, fanfic writers have recently dealt with a lot of undue hate, unnecessary drama, and not enough appreciation.

Writers don’t only write for validation. HOWEVER, the experience and practice of writing comes with a lot of feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. Moreover, writing is primarily a mode of connection. Al of art is. People who write, paint, make music, build stuff…we all do so as ways to express ourselves and connect with others. And getting to share what you write at the end of the writing process adds a layer of meaning to what you do that wouldn’t otherwise exist if you just saved it in a little folder somewhere on your device. So, when writers feel more stress and drama than appreciation, support, or any sign that the connection they reached out for has been made, it naturally makes us question what we do.

It pains me (and I know so may of my mutuals share this sentiment) to see so many talented and beautiful souls leave the fandom space because the culture of community and support that used to be here is no longer inclusive of everyone. It seems, these days, every time I log on, I’m seeing more and more mutuals saying that they’re going to leave, take a long break, or stop posting. I don’t know about you all, but I know I speak both, as a reader, and a writer, when I say that other people leaving is not good for them, for me, or for anyone who loves this fandom and this community.

What can we do about this?

Writers:

Hello my babies ❤️ I love you all. I see you all.

PLEASE OH PLEASE KEEP WRITING.

You’re doing amazing. You are the glue that holds this community together. You make art. Inspire conversations. Stir other people’s imaginations.

Art produces art. I started posting on here because I read the writing of other talented people on here that MADE ME want to start doing it.

Whether you write little blurbs, take request, writer multi-chapter, long, thousand + word fics, or just concepts; whether you write smut, fluff, angst….whatever it is that you do, you are valid. Important. Needed. Necessary.

When the inevitable “hiatus” occurs or even in between shows….who do you think this fandom depends on for keeping the energy alive? Writers.

Writing can be a lonely and self-loathing experience. We need each other. Reach out to other writers. Lift them up. Support them.

Share your work with one another. Discuss. Fangirl. Celebrate yourselves and each other. No, no, no ,no!! I heard that. I heard that sneaky voice in the back of your head telling you that you don’t have the right to call yourself a writer or to celebrate cuz you’re not even that good. FUCK THAT SHIT. YES YOU DO. YES YOU ARE.

Readers

Y’all are so so so special. ❤️ yes we write to entertain ourselves. Yes we do it cuz it’s fun. But when I tell you that there is no greater joy to me than reading y’all’s thoughts in the tags when you reblog, or seeing your comments or asks….literally means more to me than anything.

Do NOT let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about enjoying fanfiction.

If you like a fic, engage with it. Like, comment, reblog, reach out to the writer and let them know that you liked it.

Bonus points if you let them know WHAT you liked about it. I promise you, you’ll have that talented and slutty and sweet mf kicking screaming twirling their hair and smiling for the rest of the day if you tell them you enjoyed what they wrote.

You are never bothering us. We never get tired of your kindness. It’s never repetitive. It’s never meaningless. Any time that you say something, your comment will pop into our head when we next question whether or keep going or not.

Sooooo….what do we do about this?

I encourage you, whether you’re a new writer or a writer with a platform, please don’t stop because some childish killjoys with inferiority complexes wanna take your shine away. Post your work. Enjoy the unique pleasures of making art outside of the structures of capitalist consumption. Nobody is paying you for this. Nobody is estimating the value of your worth and trying to market your labor. Do you know how rare that is???

Writers support writers. Lift each other up. Share each others work. Give each other feedback. Remind each other of each others talent when you see someone starting to doubt themselves or haters getting under their skin.

Readers: like, COMMENT, FUCKIN REBLOG. it takes an extra second. It’s worth more than you know. Do it. It’s the least you can do for someone who has poured their heart and soul into something and delivered it to you on a silver platter.

Writers, readers, shitposters, fans a like: look out for one another. Take care of each other. Have each others backs. If you see a hateful comment, if you see someone trying to gate-keep, shame, or alienate anyone for any reason, CALL. THEM. OUT. Actions have consequences. If you’re so cowardly as to take yiu hate from one platform to another, you don’t have the write to make people feel like shit and ruin their hobby without consequences. You’ll be called on to answer for your bullshit.

There is no hierarchy within the fandom. You don’t get to tell someone how matty will feel about them as a fan and you don’t get to judge the way that someone participates in this fandom.

This month, a lot of your favorite authors will be posting October/ fall/ Halloween themed fics because of this. I think it’s the perfect time to revisit the way that we do reader and writer appreciation around here. I encourage you all to engage with fanfiction more personally and help make this fandom safe for everyone.

[jakotsuto]

there are many things I have Autistic Beef™ with old Ban/Ja fanfics and fan art about— many things. I am aware that a lot of it is a Product of the Times. I also acknowledge I am but an archaeologist sifting through the bones they left behind.

but I’m actually offended by some of the old takes on Bankotsu & Jakotsu’s characters. Both of ‘em, but mainly Jakotsu.

Primarily, my hatred for the idea that Jakotsu is handsy and always invading Bankotsu’s boundaries/personal space, to the displeasure/flushtration of Bankotsu.

Neither of these characters are particularly handsy, per se, but comparatively, Bankotsu is “handsier” than Jakotsu.

Alright, buckle up, because this is my special interest and I am physically incapable of not over-analyzing it. I am putting them under a microscope and I am studying them. They are locked in a jar. (Affectionately)

Or, in other and more clear-cut words that don’t resemble the ramblings of a madman:

Analyzing Inuyasha: Jakotsu Isn’t Handsy

And you can also watch while I completely abuse my newfound gif-making ability.

Jakotsu is usually considered to be, for lack of any other word to aptly describe it, “handsy” by the fandom. Whether this stems from gay stereotypes or Jakotsu’s affectionate and flamboyant personality, I couldn’t be certain. But I do know that canon disagrees.

So let’s see what canon has to say, regarding this.

Let’s start with some examples of times Jakotsu did physically touch another member of the BO7:

When he punishes Mukotsu, who deserves it.

In the intro, Jakotsu also uses Mukotsu as an armrest, which is what Mukotsu deserves because he’s terrible and the worst.

When Jakotsu helps Suikotsu onto Ginkotsu because Suikotsu is having a personality crisis. (The crisis being that he has too many and somehow not an interesting one in the batch.)

There’s also this very brief moment when he’s handing Bankotsu the jewel shard that his hand is in Bankotsu’s, but Jakotsu doesn’t linger (despite ample opportunity.)

It’s hard whether or not to count Ginkotsu here, because they all ride on Ginkotsu (especially Renkotsu) and often lean on him. Jakotsu often sits on Ginkotsu, and in one frame pictured above, has his hand on Ginkotsu. (This changes in the next shot, where his arm is just kind of resting on Ginkotsu’s metal shoulder.)

PLUS, outside of Renkotsu and Bankotsu, no one treats Car Ginkotsu as a person.

Regardless, Jakotsu doesn’t just casually touch people with affection like that. In fact, Jakotsu is very good at keeping his hands to himself— he does it in most of his scenes.

Jakotsu pretty consistently does that thing where he folds his arms into his sleeves, and otherwise lets them be completely absorbed into his sleeves. Even when he’s sitting/standing right next to Bankotsu, he makes no attempts to initiate physical contact.

Bankotsu, on the other hand…

Bankotsu initiates physical contact with both Jakotsu and Renkotsu. With Renkotsu, it’s somewhat of an intimidation tactic— a threatening undertone. However, the fact it doesn’t immediately clue Renkotsu into the fact Bankotsu is very much onto him, suggests that such affection might not be unheard of from Bankotsu.

To further support that theory, Bankotsu does have non-physical displays of affection/caring about his comrades, such as:

Catching and offering Ginkotsu a butterfly to eat, but releasing it when he realizes Ginkotsu just likes watching butterflies.

Buries Kyoukotsu and Mukotsu and has a drink to honour them

Returns Jakotsu’s greeting/greets the group when Kohaku brings them to Bankotsu, (“Hey, Bankotsu!” “Yo!”)

Specifically acknowledges that not all of them are together again because Mukotsu and Kyoukotsu were killed again.

Has a drink with Jakotsu after battle, while lightly scolding him for not even considering leaving people alive to serve them

Asks Jakotsu to go to war with him, pre-BO7

Actively seeks Jakotsu out after his battle with Sesshomaru, saying he’s been looking for Jakotsu.

Refers to the BO7 as “his friends”

Sadly talks to himself about how it’s lonely that he’s the last one left.

Thinks about each of them when he’s the last one.

Attempts to seek vengeance for his fallen comrades despite the fact he acknowledges that it was inevitable. He also seems to know he won’t survive this encounter, as he refers to it as the final battle of the Band of Seven.

Whereas, for example, Jakotsu considers most of the Band of Seven members nuisances:

Calls Kyoukotsu a stupid idiot and says that it “served [him] right” that Koga killed him, and also referred to him as being the weakest among them

“Damn you, Mukotsu!”, Steps on Mukotsu’s head and flicks it downwards, seems to mostly not care what Mukotsu does as long as it doesn’t affect him

Doesn’t say much about Ginkotsu except that he’s fairly strong, but actively hopes he will fail to kill Inuyasha. Doesn’t talk or think about Ginkotsu outside of that.

Threatens to kill Suikotsu

Physically harms and cuts Suikotsu up to “awaken” him

Lectures Suikotsu about not turning into a “good person” in the middle of the fight

Doesn’t trust that Suikotsu followed through on this, and stalked him after Suikotsu fell off the bridge— convinced up until Neutral Suikotsu killed a man that Suikotsu was back to being good and he’d have to “open his eyes” again.

Gets annoyed at Suikotsu any time his “good” personality is pushing through, such as when Suikotsu is stopping him from murdering the kids— even though Jakotsu doesn’t actively want to kill the kids

The only two members that Jakotsu seems to like are Bankotsu (obviously) and Renkotsu, who while he refers to as being “cruel” to him, he also shows a decent amount of respect for. He does follow Renkotsu’s orders, albeit complaining the whole time, and is completely honest and even friendly with Renkotsu.

Now, let’s get into That Scene, the one which I nicknamed “Abarero!!” after their song.

Bankotsu is overcome with emotion (“emotionally touched”) to the point of tears (visible in two of these frames) because of Jakotsu’s unwavering loyalty and selflessness. He tugs Jakotsu towards him and wraps an arm around him, initiating physical affection.

There are many reasons why Jakotsu reacts the way he does to this affection— namely, surprised and confused— but what I’d like to focus on is the fact he’s taken aback and the fact he doesn’t attempt to reciprocate the affection.

By all means, Bankotsu has given him an opening to return the half-embrace. But Jakotsu keeps his hands tucked into his sleeves. He leaves Bankotsu fully in control of this interaction and affection.

As for Jakotsu’s affections with his enemies…

He picks Inuyasha up by the hair, presses on his wounds at one point, and throws Inuyasha like a ragdoll at the stirring demons of Mt. Hakurei.

Up until that, I think we should note— his final battle with Inuyasha is the first time he makes any kind of direct contact with Inuyasha. It’s also the first time he talks about wanting to embrace Inuyasha.

“But your human form is so luscious it makes me wanna take you in my arms!” / “But your human form is so adorable, I want to hug you.”

Jakotsu, while attracted to Inuyasha, exclusively talks about embracing him— and only during their last battle when Inuyasha is human. Jakotsu even vocalizes a fantasy where Inuyasha wants Jakotsu to hold him tenderly for awhile.

“You’ll cry ‘Jakotsu, just hold me in your arms awhile, please.’” / “Jakotsu, please hold me gently in your arms.”

And that is exactly what Jakotsu plans to do. During the fight, which Jakotsu purposefully doesn’t try and speed up. Jakotsu even says, “Come. It is almost time for our embrace— our embrace made slick with your blood.”

The embrace is something special to him that he wishes to savour, so he is saving it for last. In other words, that affection is a Big Deal to him. It is in no way casual, and it’s the most he openly desires physical contact.

(It’s also what makes me believe that Jakotsu truly does not intend to go Any Further than that, because Jakotsu is very upfront about his intentions— and the fact that he wants Inuyasha to desire him to hold him gently like that further illustrates the possibility of Jakotsu having some twisted standards about consent.

Men don’t want to hold and/or be held by Jakotsu? Make them yearn for such gentleness by showing them extreme violence and torture.)

As a conclusion:

Jakotsu doesn’t do physical touch as a purely affectionate or casual thing at all from what we see, the closest thing we get to that is him assisting Suikotsu. (He has other ways of showing affection to his friends.)

Bankotsu doesn’t seem to have any reservations about being affectionate, however, and comparatively is the handsy one.

thanks for coming to my tedtalk. I’ll untie you now.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

17. talk about your writing and editing process <3

Man apparently I’m allergic to checking my inbox but HEY better late than never my love!

So my process, if you can even call it that, is chaotic as FUCK!!! I stare off into space writing it mentally first, type all my bullshit in my notes app like a heathen, don’t proofread, drop unsolicited personal lore in the notes, all that. Gonna use TWITR as an example again btw

I’ve said it before, but The Webs In The Rafters is based on a WHACK ASS DREAM I HAD. specifically chapter 17 and the climax of the story. Like I was the Kenny character, Sansa the dog was telepathically speaking in my mind, there were piles of cuddling cats everywhere, the sound of helicopter blades and a trail of spiders in the hay. I woke up like bro what the hell this is a story right here and I went from there. And in fleshing out the plot, pinning the story beats, the time I was writing it was PERFECT TIMING. Because I had a six hour drive to make for a friend’s wedding. And what did my insane ass do? I FUCKING RAWDAWGED that drive. No music, no audiobook, just silent highways and plotting TWITR. By the time I got home I had a very clear idea of where I was going with the story that at that point was only a few set up chapters and a title.

Speaking of titles, a lot of the time I have titles before I have plot, which is kinda weird bc I know a lot of people struggle with titles, but that’s one of the first things that comes to me. Especially with my one shots, like my kysterion fic All The Punches That I’ve Thrown. That lyric popped into my head and a fic idea with it. Song lyrics inspire a LOT of ideas for me.

So does art. Like with In The Truly Gruesome, I saw a drawing emilyartstudios did of Stan and Shelley working a booth for Tegrity at a fair and I was like YO WHAT IF I FUCKED THIS UP AND STUCK ZOMBIE ALIENS IN THERE lmfao. And ofc, the OrangeJuiceVerse wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t seen foxydodo’s art of basketball player Kyle and mascot Stan.

While oneshots come together pretty fast for me usually, being written out in my head to be typed out in the course of a day (back in the days of janitor Riley bored as shit at work and having the time and energy for that lol), multichapters are require more thought structurally. So what I like to do with a multichap:

Think of it in three acts. In script writing, there’s something called the “page 12 event”, the event that gets the plot rolling near the beginning of the film. And I like to stick an event like that at the end of chapter 1 of my stuff a lot of the time, like ITTG and uhhhh yeeting Stan into a mineshaft after we find out the boys are being chased by monsters (jesus what is wrong with me). What I’m getting at: I like to know where my beginning middle and end are, how the characters are feeling at each step, how their relationships change, all that. And a lot of the time I think of the end before I do the middle or beginning tbh. Like I said, chaos. I think of a random scenario (as we know usually someone is hurt and getting taken care of bc I’m fucking evil and that’s where my brain goes constantly), hence the WhumpShots.

And I do primarily operate in WhumpShots. I picture a scene with a character getting their injuries tended, sick and dizzy but having a friend or loved one at their side, etc, and BAM that scene becomes a oneshot. Even the REALLY short ones, like the sot bunny I did last summer called So Only Say My Name, was about 700 words and one sequence of events. That kind of to the point structure comes easy to me, which is why I loved doing Style Week so much; new oneshot prompt every day. And while I don’t usually proofread after I finish a work, I edit as I go, sometimes post random lines on here or send a screenshot to the R.A.N.T. homies (I’ve definitely done this more as of late, a habit from when I attempted writing smut for the first time and would send neen a screenshot all “IS THIS CRINGE?!?” lmfao I love the Idea Trampoline tho). And I can’t spell so autocorrect is fr my saving grace unless it betrays me. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 words in 3 separate fics that I need to fix but am simply not going to bc that requires effort and oh fuckin well.

And I say that, but I may be lax about the more fiddly stuff but I care SO much about the big picture. Like “does this convey the feelings I want it to? Is this going to be a bright spot in someone’s day? Is the vibe I want there?” That’s my priority. If I can leave an impact on a reader, entertain them, make them smile, that’s what matters to me.

Jesus sorry this was a convoluted answer lmao it’s 3 in the morning and I woke up all “hey I should actually check my inbox” and here we are

Thank u for asking abt my chaos melda tâe

[caustic-caffeine]

Helpful Blog Guide (or, what you’ll find here)

this post updates from time to time | last update: november 1, 2024

『 Important Disclaimers! 』

Please read this if you aren’t already familiar with me and my work.

BYI ➥

This blog features dark themes, including but not limited to: gore*, toxic relationships, various forms of horror, violence, drug abuse, etc. There’s also the occasional eyestrainy post. Basically, I like to explore angst through my art and lore. I am not my characters, they are not me; I do not condone hurting yourself or other people.

*Gore is drawn and not of real life people.

I am a minor, and aroace, so sex isn’t mentioned (and especially not depicted) to any level here. What I choose to depict may change in the future, though. The general takeaway you should have is this:

This blog overall is a 16+ space. If you’re younger than 16, I won’t block you, but tread carefully. If any of you find any of the above topics to be upsetting, I recommend not following my page.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DNI ➥

I don’t really have a DNI list. Respect me as I’ll respect you and we’ll be chill. That being said, I’m not afraid to use the block button.

I’d prefer people older than 30 or younger than 13 not trying to befriend me. Keep things art related! If I already know you/we’ve been mutuals for a while then don’t stress about this, though, you’re chill!

Also, if you’re pro generative ai, you’ll be blocked immediately.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Other Boundaries ➥

Or, “block conditions” if you will. If you do any of this stuff repetitively or severely I will block you. Also, this applies to you if you aren’t a friend: https://nohello.net/en/

Do not repost my work without my explicit permission. Reblog instead!

As a general rule, don’t use slurs around me. In certain circumstances I’m chill with it, but don’t push the envelope. (I use “queer” and sometimes “crippled” to describe myself, but don’t refer to me with those terms unless you’re lgbtq+ or disabled, respectively.)

Don’t draw porn of my characters or sona. Don’t send me porn, either. I will block (and possibly report) you.

Don’t draw gore of my sona and don’t send me real life/nonfictional gore.

Don’t ask me invasive questions.

Don’t vent in asks or dms unless I explicitly said you can. I understand needing help and seeking out support, but you don’t know me and I don’t know you. There are better resources to seek out than a random teenager on tumblr. /lh

I’d like to think all of this goes without saying, but yanno. It’s the internet.

『 Navigation! 』

Here are my links and tags in a handy dandy list for convenient stalking! (/lh)

Links ➥

Main blog: you are here!

Side blog: @vesuvian-vampire

Other links: see my linktree!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tags ➥

My stuff!

#art: #oc art, #oc ref sheet, #illustration, #doodle, #art fight (and #art fight 2024), #art trade, #art commission, #gift art (for specifics)

#just thoughts: #asks open, #answered asks (for specifics)

#writing; #oc lore, #worldbuilding (for specifics)

Others’ Stuff!

#reblogs: #others’ art, #others’ projects, #campaigns and fundraisers, #misc (for specifics)

『 About The Blogger! 』

Soo, what’s this page and who’s the person running it?

Hi! I’m Casey, an artist and worldbuilder with a love for dark fantasy and sci-fi settings. I primarily draw digitally using the program Procreate on my Ipad. In the future, I also want to branch out into programs like Live2D, Aseprite, and Blender. Perhaps I’ll even learn to code for visual novels and other games based on the stories floating around in my head. I dunno. I’m a mixed bag, really, both stylistically and in what I like to depict.

I’m disabled and neurodivergent (AuDHD). I deal with a lot of chronic fatigue and pain in my day to day so my post frequency is very sporadic.

I’m also queer. Aroace, agender, transmasc. I primarily use he/him but don’t really care about pronouns; just don’t use she/her on me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Some things that inspire me ➥

The Arcana (visual novel game)

My awesome friends, mutuals, and artists I follow

Amulet (graphic novel series)

Slay The Spire (roguelike deckbuilder game)

Dead Cells (roguelike metroidvania game)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Other General Likes ➥

My special interests (generally, art and writing)

Metal and hard rock music

Dogs (the bigger the better)

Baking

Kayaking and rafting

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I post random shit on this account. Lots of art, but really whatever I feel like posting. It’s called “Casey’s Mystery Grab Bag” for a reason!

『 Other Info! 』

In the format of a q&a just because it’s fun.

“Who’s that one vampire(?) oc I see so frequently on this page?”

Francis! They use they/them pronouns exclusively and are a main character in one of my storylines, “Cecie’s Lament”. For more about Francis, check out their Toyhouse page!

“What’s your commission/art trade/art collab status?”

My commissions are closed.

Art trades are open (dm me if you’re interested)!

Art collabs are open to friends and mutuals.

If my status changes, I’ll update this post alongside announcing the status change.

“Who are the people whose names are bracketed?”

Those are whichever characters are being featured in a given post! Most are mine but some aren’t; the ones who belong to others are hyperlinked.

[starlupis]

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 🪐　 ˚　.　　　　 　　.　　　　　　 ✦　　　.　　˚　🌒　　　　. ✦ 　🌍

　　.  　 　　　˚　　　　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　　˚ 　　　 　　˚　.　*　　. 　˚　　.

INTRODUCTION POST

Heya! I go by primarily Astro(currently, also considering Wolfe n some other names idk) and I use she/her pronouns! This is my only blog and I post pretty much anything on here, but mostly art and alterhuman stuff.

[DIVIDER CREDIT]

Also please specify sarcasm when talking to me! I’m HORRIBLE at detecting it both online and in real life.

MORE BELOW THE CUT

[MINOR FLASH WARNING!! the bottom of the post contains blinkies]

✧★ ABOUT ME !!! ★✧

As I’ve already mentioned, I go by mainly Astro! I also sometimes go by Odysseus/Odyssey on stuff like PonyTown or WolfQuest haha. I actually prefer to be referred to with they/it/he but the top bit says she/her on the off chance a family member or something scrolls by and recognizes the username(why do I use the same user on everything ?? this is stupid) and to ease my religious anxiety a bit.

I’ve been doing art for essentially my entire life(no idea when I started digital art, but my guess is around 2018? No idea) and animating since sometime late 2019/early 2020!!

I am a minor(high school).

Furry 🫵(you can find my fursona here if you’d like to see them!) + wolf/dog kemonomimi

I am type 1 diabetic but heavily doubt I’ll mention it often(excluding during disability pride month probably).

I’m also a malaptive daydreamer and have been 1st grade. I am not sure how to fix this still it is very annoying?? (it’s also where a lot of my OCs’ lore/backstories originate from lmao)

involuntary pet regressor + age regressor

I am an alterhuman/nonhuman. this is the ONLY platform I talk about it on and that’s pretty much the sole reason I don’t link my tumblr anywhere. My currently known alterhuman identities are—

(stray/feral, mid-content? the dog part is border collie I think…or border collie is separate I don’t even know man) wolfdog. Psychological+maybe partially spiritual theriotype, first one discovered/put with a label.

Cryptidkin. Likely psychological and somewhat spiritual(link to nature). Possibly also monsterkin? Holothere?

Dragonkith/hearted

Angelkin(spiritual+somewhere in the gray space that can’t be put with a word) + I think some sort of winged human kintype?

Dromeosaur, haven’t figured out the specific species. Most likely otherfix/otherspin.

I also refer to myself as a (non-shifting) werewolf but I don’t really use the werewolfkin label. so werewolfkin/holothere I guess yeah

Questioning a lion and slugcat(Rain World) theriotype.

some other miscellaneous labels that describe me

ahuman

malomasc (?)

wolfnatured

punk(working a battle jacket!! will post photos when I’m done if anyone wants to see it)

aroace + agender spec transmasc

^I don’t explicitly use xenogenders but I have entire Pinterest board of ones that really resonate with me lmao

I do have GAD and SPCD(★) so my apologies if I take a while to respond to something! I also have PTSD(undiagnosed, but I have too many reasons to believe I have it to ignore), and suspect I have autism for numerous reasons but I do not have a diagnosis.

my special interest is paleontology(heavy emphasis on animals) n I’ve also been hyperfixated on spider-man for almost a year if you care to know :3

I know DNIs are pretty useless, but you know. Worth a shot. DNI if Zooph*lia, NSFW/k!nk blog, radqueer, or basic DNI criteria

————

TAG SYSTEM

#✧star drawz - art/animation/doodles/etc

#✧star makes things™ - cosplay, physical/3D art, that kinda stuff

#✧feral things - alterhuman stuff

#✧the creature speaks - rambling/long text posts

#✧reblogs - self explanatory (but I don’t actually tag my reblogs with it so like. I keep forgetting to sorry lmao)

#✧chaos control - I DO plan to post stuff about my webcomic eventually so this would be the tag for that

#✧the burning star - other webcomic

————

some other socials/accounts if anyone wantz them:

Instagram - @/starwolf_art (this is where most of my art is)

YouTube - @/starlupus

DeviantArt - @/StarWol3 (I rarely post there)

Etsy - ConstellationWares (no listings currently but I plan to sell device backgrounds and OC adoptables, and perhaps cat masks eventually?)

Ao3 - StarLupis

Artfight - StxrWolf (I revenge every attack !!)

gonna also link my webcomic here when I finally redo the first chapter!

Carrd - https://starlupus.carrd.co

————

I usually follow back unless you don’t want minors on your blog or you’re in my DNI(or I’m in yours, of course)

[BLINKIE CREDITS ★ ★ ★]

★✧🦈★✧

[mostspecialgirl]

i dont think i can do “artist spaces” anymore because i’m really stupid. - ramble post with no point or central focus aside from making myself feel less weird

like…. i’m stupid. and i like it! But every artist i meet is like some kind of super genius and irs kind of nuts, everyone’s got such vision and intelligence and honed skill and all these interesting things about their lives and practice away from the arts and i’m some kind of inert orb who doesn't have much soul in her work aside from "isnt this cool like a animes" or "this is how im feeling". at least when it comes to Drawinf a Pitures.

i can deal with spaces where everyone’s just hanging out and Some People Happen to be Artists but spaces primarily composed of people steeped in the arts actually remind me that i'm a socially inept cavewoman who barely knows how to use the microwave. sufficiently talented artists ('sufficient' referring to people who have labelled themself an artist and have been online for more than 2 years) who i end up talking to online are 80% of the time some kind of Art Student Med Student Math Prodigy or Mentally Ill Genius Socially Inept Outsider Artist with insane Honed Unique Skill and when you apply that 80% to a whole lump of people in a GC or a Discord Server where the other 20% don't really talk there it gets real mentally exhausting as someone generally quite unimpressive and classically unskilled.

i dunno. I just kind of find it interesting that people with such talent, skill, wit, and (as ive repeated endlessly) intelligence are always drawn to the arts. a lot of my friends ive made who are very smart people ive learned 3 years into the friendship they used to do painting studies and are some kind of closet picasso while ive been showing them my meager collection of shale and sediment. is the pursuit of the artistic a mark of something deeper? what must one’s character lack to not seek creative self expression? what separates a creator from a consumer, and the blind from the perceptive? is creating art for the simple purpose of “cool and fun” shallow? does that answer change with ones talent? what is shallow art? is there truly such a thing?

cough

anyway. i’m just kind of a dumb baby, and it makes me sad that i never really feel like i can talk about art with most people because i don’t know anything. i’m not looking for construction or anything, i just want to be able to say “isn’t making something fun” without being reminded of my own inadequacies. i feel like art shouldn’t have to be this “smart” thing, and it isn’t, but art itself draws in the smart, and so like in many other spaces i feel a bit outcasted. obviously the solution here is to talk to MINORS from TIKTOK (gets cancelled)

but i really dunno. i feel stupid a lot these days and i feel like there aren’t any spaces that fit me, even when on paper these should be the spaces i should be in. even off the paper, anywhere i go i can’t help but feel like a bit of a bump on a log. like an erroneously flipped bit. i’m the stray ray from the sun beamed into the nintendo 64. that’s how i feel among other people, no matter who i’m with. it’s strange, because i really do like myself. i’ve passed a lot of the self deprecation and self doubt that used to chain me, and is it strange to say i believed casting those aside would help me find a bit more belonging among other people?

it hasn’t! life’s the same! maybe worse? i’m not self actualized or anything, but i think i’ve really grown as a person, so it’s sort of sucky that i fit better in place as a problem child. well i suppose as the Old Ones spoke, every group needs The Rick Friend. meeting people is hard. wanting to stay among people i’ve met is even harder. i like to blame a lot of it on the Modern Internet and the sheer amount of how many people have invaded my once cozy corners. with The Net these days being less of a space for Niche Freaks and instead being Grandma And Your Little Cousin Just Saw You Post Your Wiener On Instagram i’d think it’s only natural i’m running into less likeminded people. but i dunno. i feel like some of it’s my fault. i’m a weird little giblet of a girl, aren’t i? and man do i EVER hate people. I’m a big hater.

everybody i meet these days just makes me drool because everyone’s some kind of Valorant Edater or Reddit Object Show Minor or The Hypersexual or Someone I’m Too Intimidated By or Someone Who Does Not Want To Be Talking To Me. where’s Literally Anything Else. Everyone i meet these days fits into those categories. Give me anything else. What is wrong with my Spaces

i really don’t know how people make friends online these days. i’m always posting these days about Haha I Need Friends and Haha I Need A Wife that falls endlessly into the empty infinite void (much like now) for a reason. no matter where i seem to go, i walk dragging my feet, half-lidded and unengaged with a soft scowl on my face. i’ll figure it out, right? i’ll certainly make new friends, right? because i have to, right?

i dont wanna go to work tomorrow dude