#I do want to add tho that I wish people like this love and healing so they don’t feel the need to tear others down

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

I'm flattered /gen

glad you like my silly little au fjbsjfh

okay. I mean I said I'd write more of this anyway, so...

let's add even more tropes into the mix actually

- The Senju clan's healing ability is ridiculously superior to the Uchiha clan's, which is actually pretty shit really. They're doing their best but they don't have nearly as much knowledge or inventions or justu relevent to healing and prevention as the Senju, meanwhile the Senju clan's ability to heal horrendous injuries+illnesses is absolutely unbelievable. Neither party is quite aware of the extent of this discrepancy tho,,,,the Uchiha are slightly more aware of it than the Senju are but. Yeah big knowledge gap

- Hashirama et al has lowkey been planning to Get Rid Of Butsuma and take over for like, ages. He's not old enough or experienced enough to take over the clan yet but he + Tobirama + others have quietly been working towards the eventuality in which Hashirama IS old enough to do so for. years

- Tobirama has leopard summons which okay yeah does make him act a teeny tiny bit like a cat sometimes. The instincts are there

okay now I need to backtrack to my original post because now that I've added these tropes in I wish to expand on the ending paragraph. the bit about the Uchiha clan at large attempting to befriend the young Blessed like he's a stray/feral cat, meanwhile Tobirama starts dropping metaphorical dead mice on their doorstep as he gradually warms up to them? that bit

okay so after that encounter that broke the stalemate, in which Tobirama was wounded and the Uchiha gave the young Blessed medical supplies to try and help, there's a few realisations. The Uchiha realise this Blessed is almost certainly a recognisable (and therefore probably important?) member of a neutral or, more likely, enemy shinobi clan. Tobirama realises, after a few similar encounters (Butsuma has a few months of beyond usual paranoia and keeps sending Tobirama on missions that are too difficult/dangerous for him really), that based on how bad the Uchiha seem to think his injuries are vs what supplies they give him....the state of the Uchiha's healing supplies is possibly a bit shit. hm

(Tobirama's also warming up to the concept of peace with the Uchiha due to these encounters. He already wanted the war to stop, because it was killing so many of their people and didn't make sense to continue when they didn't know why it STARTED and it almost got Itama killed (he survived, but now stays in the compound learning to be a healer and that's Tobirama's baby brother that nearly died!) buuuuttt now Tobirama's not only like "we should stop the war" but "we should start an era of peace", you know? Subtle but very important difference. He's willing to be more proactive now and maybe if he does nice things for the Uchiha then if/when he reveals his identity as Senju Tobirama it could help cement peace? He considers talking to Hashirama about the possibility but uhhhh then he'd have to admit he's been sneaking onto Uchiha lands sans disguise and he doesn't want to do that. Not because he doesn't love and trust his Anija, of course he does! But this is HIS thing he wants to keep it to himself,,,plus Hashirama would get so emotional about it he just KNOWS he would and he doesn't want to get sobbed all over again, thanks)

Anyway. After the Uchiha found him injured that first time and determined the Blessed was almost certainly from an enemy clan, they decided plausible deniability was the way to go, on the theory that if they pretended he wasn't an enemy or even that they hadn't noticed him, he would also pretend he wasn't from an enemy clan and therefore 'why would I spy/hurt/disadvantage the people who let me hide on their lands and give me free medical supplies? enemies? who? the Uchiha aren't my enemy don't be stupid'

This tactic is incredibly successful actually. Tobirama hadn't wanted them to know that he was from an enemy clan at all, if possible, but the moment he picked up on the fact that a) the Uchiha clan likely knew he wasn't exactly from a neutral/allied clan and b) they were pretending they didn't know in order to avoid conflict, Tobirama was very happy to play along. Thanks for solving the problem he had no idea what to do about! Plausible deniability is absolutely something he can do, he's great at that actually (fuck you Butsuma)

(Sighs of relief on the Uchiha side of things, when they realise the Blessed is happy to play along despite being discovered)

One of the ways this plausible deniability manifests is that the young Blessed is gradually demonstrating a number of preferred places to hang out/hide on their lands. The Uchiha steadfastly pretend not to be aware of this, sometimes walking by and COINCIDENTALLY not seeing the kid scrambling up the tree to his favourite perch for example, but by some happenstance a few of their patrol routes have altered ever so slightly so that the kid's preferred places are more strongly protected than they had been previously. Wow what a weird coincidence am I right

Anyway after that first encounter that broke the stalemate, subsequent encounters with the Blessed now routinely include giving the kid (11-14?? idk man I'm still undecided on ages) a shirt. Because for some reason whenever he's injured he's also absent proper clothing. They really aren't sure why this is the case? He wears proper clothing when he's not injured! Injuries and lost clothing do not normallt have such a strong corrlation as they seemingly do for this kid so like, what the hell is hapoening there?? But they're not gonna leave the kid to freeze when a shirt is one thing they have plenty of sooo shirt and medical supplies it is

The Uchiha have no way of knowing this, but the reason Tobirama keeps ending up needing a shirt whenever he's injured is because when Tobirama plans in advance to go hang out on Uchiha lands, he can ensure he's dressed appropriately with outer layers etc that don't have the Senju mon on. But if he hasn't planned it in advance, and is just trying to hide because he's injured and doesn't want to go home (partly conscious planning to avoid Butsuma and partially unconscious cat instincts to go hide somewhere nobody (that he really knows personally) can find him) then that usually means that his armour and outer layers etc all had the Senju mon on, since that's somewhat required for missions, and therefore he has to discard them before he can safely go on Uchiha lands. Thus any time he's injured on Uchiha lands he's also usually more or less just in his underclothing which...okay, honestly? He rarely cares at the time because yk injuries but looking back on it thinking about the sheer number of random Uchiha who have seen him in his under things is pretty embarrassing. Mm. Let's not dwell on that

Tobirama isn't so proud as to refuse the clothing they offer, because that would be stupid. It's fucking cold without his outer layers and yeah yeah he could stay warm using chakra circulation but that would use energy and chakra that he really ought to be dedicating to healing those injuries. So a shirt is better

However! He can't really keep the shirts? The younger and cockier/stupider Uchiha keep giving him shirts with the uchiwa fan on, which obviously Tobirama can't risk being spotted with back home because it would be impossible to explain, and depending on who found him with it he probably wouldn't even get a chance to try and explain himself. If it's one of the older/more experienced Uchiha who offer a shirt then he usually doesn't have to worry about them giving him something with the uchiwa emblazoned on it, but then it's also usually big enough on him that it's not reeeeally worth keeping since he can't exactly wear it regularly

So instead, he starts using the gifted shirts to wrap up medical supplies from the Senju healing halls (stuff that's better than what the Uchiha have been able to gift to Tobirama, but he's careful to ensure it's neither so good as to be obviously Senju nor marked in any identifying way) and occasionally also food, during times he has reason to believe the Uchiha clan (who do not have mokuton on their side) may be struggling a bit with that e.g. in the middle of a particularly harsh winter. So yeah he uses the gifted shirts to make little parcels of food + supplies

And then he starts sometimes leaving these little return parcels near any of the hangout/hiding places that he knows the Uchiha know of ('plausible deniability' does not mean 'so subtle Tobirama can't pick up on it' and it was never intended to be, and all parties know it). Only on times he's sure he hasn't been spotted though. Kami forbid he doesn't want to risk being spotted leaving them gifts or, even worse, having to explain himself. Let him have his own plausible deniability here, please, he's just returning the favour of the shirt+medical supplies gifts

Welcome to the 'Tobirama leaving the Uchiha clan gifts like a cat depositing dead mice on their doorstep' era

The Uchiha clan did NOT expect their gifts to be reciprocated but they're very excited about it! I mean the Uchiha patrol that were (un)lucky enough to find the gift were also somewhat embarrassed because now they have to admit the full goings-on with the Blessed to their higher-ups and the clan at large (the various shinobi routinely on patrol may not have yet confessed to smuggling the kid shirts and medical supplies. maybe. they also maybe weren't supposed to have some of those supplies and got in a fair amount of trouble for stealing from the limited healing halls surplus. oops) which was almost physically painful tbh,,,the disappointed stares for stealing from the healing halls,,,,but the return gifts the Blessed left pretty much redeemed them so like. It's fine it's all good. And hey, they even got the shirts back?

(Seriously what is going ON with that kid and his clothing. He clearly has clothes, so why isn't he always wearing them? Or if he doesn't have ENOUGH clothes to always wear them, or something [admittedly Tobirama does have a fairly limited number of outdoor clothing absent his clan mon so if any Uchiha was paying enough attention they may notice he was cycling through like, three shirts and two pairs of pants or something ridiculous like that], then why doesn't he keep the clothing they offer him?? What??)

Anyway they're very grateful for the medical supplies, and the food in mid-winter is a fucking BOON let them tell you that. Woo some actual fruit+veg instead of just fucking rice for the last stretch of winter! Some of their healers are sparing as much time as they can to try and reverse engineer the medication the kid left them, but it's really difficult and so far they haven't really had any success. The young Blessed helpfully used the same (knots? colour?) code as the medical supplies they left him used, for painkillers vs sedatives vs antibiotics and stuff, which is excellent

They try leaving him a thank you note near one of his hiding places once, but decide NOT to do that again because it fucking spooked the kid. He had been routinely hanging around about a third of the way between their outermost patrols and their compound, but after the Uchiha found disturbed ground by the note (which he notably did not take with him) the young Blessed a) vanished off the face of the fucking planet for like, two months and b) returned to lurking around the very very edges of their lands instead of coming further in

So outright straightforward communication is a bust, they guess.

Damn.

Somewhere in the distance Tobirama is quietly panicking because he can rationalise leaving them gifts as simply returning a favour/debt but writing to a clan his own are still enemies with? That's a bit too close to treason for him to deal with calmly

(Yes this is irrational when he is involved in actively planning much worse treason against their current shitstain of a clan head, but emotions are rarely rational, to Tobirama's eternal frustration)

So the Uchiha clan abandon direct communication as an avenue to winning this Blessed over, but they refuse to fall into ANOTHER stalemate with the quiet exchange of gifts and plausible deniability, they want to keep making some sort of progress towards winning the kid over

There's a lot of discussions back in the compound about this, throwing around various ideas. I think it should be someone from the main family (your choice who) who eventually suggests that making some of the young Blessed's hangout spots more hospitable may be a good move. After all, he's spent a fairly large amount of time on Uchiha lands, but considering he never comes inside the compound or outposts...he can't exactly be all that comfortable

(this is true he isn't, he just deems the discomfort worth it)

This is deemed a high risk, high reward idea. It might work really well! It may also just spook the kid again, probably badly enough to scare him off for good. They'll try it, but they'll only target one (1) of the kid's chosen places, in the hopes that even if he elects to forever abandon it once they actually acknowledge they know where it is and have even meddled with it, he might still use the other places. Also, whoever suggested the idea REALLY wants to help with making a cozy place for the Blessed, or tag along to see his reaction to it, or SOMETHING, but alas is strongly outvoted on the basis that altering one of the Blessed' safe spaces AND introducing a new Uchiha shinobi who doesn't routinely patrol and from the kid's perspective would have no reason to be there,,,could only end badly

There's a lot of whining about this, but they stand firm. No tagalongs. Yes even if it was your brilliant idea in the first place. Can't risk scaring him off. Eventually Tajima backs them up on this and the whining stops. Good

Time to go go spruce up a ridiculous hiding place for a young enemy Blessed shinobi

(how have their lives come to this)

let's combine some tropes

- red eyes are blessed (and therefore Tobirama has been hiding his face (and possibly generally his appearance via seal) bc they're not sure what Uchiha do with red-eyed people)

- Tobirama is a v strong sensor

- He finds Uchiha chakra in general and Madara's chakra in particular to be v pleasant

- He sometimes hides at the edge of Uchiha land borders when he's having a bad day, or just when he feels like it, in order to better immerse himself in chakra he finds comforting

- (and also Butsuma Sucks. he's abusive to his kids, esp Tobirama bc woe red eyes akin to sharingan and Butsuma's never been the most rational about his hatred. on a related note he's a passable clan head but he'd be a lot better if he didn't let said hatred guide his actions more than his reason)

...I don't think this post will get too long but I say that every time and then it does so maybe I should just preemptively stick a read more here??

basically au in which, from a p young age, Tobirama sneaks off to chakra bathe when he's sad or stressed. the Uchiha clan haven't actually found any red-eyed people in a while so the Senju aren't sure what they do with them but rumours still abound and all the rumours Tobirama have heard have generally been... well they've been bad. very bad. but they've also all had a common theme of 'the red-eyed person is not immediately killed on the spot', which is better than Tobirama could hope for from Uchiha as the Senju surety heir. so anytime he's hiding/skulking around the edges of Uchiha land, he makes sure that, unlike usual, his true appearance+eyes are on display as well as ensuring he doesn't have the Senju mon on him anywhere

he absolutely does not want to get caught by the Uchiha but also it's only sensible to take precautions so that if the worst case scenario happens and he IS caught trespassing, he should at least have a bit more time to try and escape, bare minimum, right?

so that's Tobirama's side of things

the Uchiha side of things is more like

okay they haven't found a Blessed in some time now and it's not like there's a strict manual what you should do if you find one. it's more like "these people are important, don't hurt them if at all possible, help and protect them if at all possible, bringing them into the clan and teaching them abt all things Uchiha including our religion would be a very good thing". so there's like some guidelines but it's fairly vague

this means the patrol predominantly made up of fairly new shinobi has absolutely no idea what to do when a while after sun-down they come across a Blessed child fast asleep, but slowly blinking awake, in the branches of a tree near the edge of their lands. like. hello?? small child?? why are you here how are you here do you want some soup

they're only standing around in confused and slightly awed shock for like, 3 minutes MAX but unfortunately that's long enough for the child to wake up properly, take one look at the patrol and then fucking bolt off Uchiha lands

cue surprised and self-recriminating cursing from the Uchiha shinobi. they can't just abandon their patrol route and they're somewhat wary of a potential trap for (relatively) newbie shinobi, so they don't all go after the child. but they do send their fastest after the kid because cmon that's a tiny Blessed!!

no luck, they return empty handed

apparently the Blessed child is unreasonably fast and tricky

damn

what now?

baby Tobirama returns home absolutely furious with himself. he can't believe he fell asleep!!! of all things! yeah he was exhausted and yeah he was snuggled up in warm comforting chakra but to fall asleep in enemy territory! he's so mad at himself. it was stupid and it was reckless and it was incredibly selfish of him to risk such a thing when his family, his clan, need him and- (continues telling himself off for like, 3 hours, until his brothers eventually manage to distract him from his horrible mood)

he doesn't return to Uchiha lands for ages after that. but he does, eventually, return

he isn't spotted every time he sneaks onto Uchiha lands, far from it, maybe one time in twenty or less, but it definitely happens enough times that they must know there's a little red-eyed child who keeps skulking around their territory and then bolting whenever he's spotted. oops. regardless he's very stressed and very sad because one of his little brothers is now gone (I kind of want this to be an au where his brother lives but is now stuck in an arranged marriage/learning to be a diplomat in the capital or smth, but regardless of how Kawamara is gone now and baby Tobirama is very sad abt it) and despite how many times they've spotted him, none of the Uchiha have actually managed to catch him yet, so he deems it worth the risk. (he maybe is not thinking incredibly rationally rn and just willfully disregarding anything against what he wants to do. give him a break his life sucks rn let him have this one thing)

meanwhile the Uchiha are like. where is this tiny Blessed child coming from/going to and why does he keep running away from us? like okay we know there's some horrendous rumours abt what we do with Blessed and we can't correct those rumours bc doing so risks others using Blessed against us but like....if that was the reason this kid was running from us then surely either he'd be trying to hide his features or he'd stop sneaking onto our land?

.....maybe he's not worried abt us noticing there's a Blessed child on our lands. he doesn't seem TOO bothered by us getting glimpses of him in the relative distance after all. so...he doesn't want us to see him close up? why?

..maybe he's like, really obviously from a neutral/enemy clan or something when you get a better look at him? hmmm

maybe he'll let us talk to him/catch him eventually if we keep trying. I mean it doesn't seem like he plans to stop sneaking onto our lands and WE'RE certainly not going to stop so surely its only a matter of time before he realises that if we wanted to actually hurt him we absolutely could have been throwing jutsu or weapons at him from this distance or senbons laced with sedatives or-

(should we do that instead actually? hit the kid with a sedative, deal with the rest later?

no, then we might permanently fuck over any chance of him ever trusting us and that would make helping/protecting/integrating him SO much harder

urgh. you're right I guess. okay)

anyway. maybe the little Blessed kid will relax eventually

(Tobirama does not relax eventually)

they've fallen into a frustrating stalemate in which Tobirama will fairly frequently lurk around Uchiha lands and occasionally an Uchiha will spot him and halfheartedly attempt to catch him, only to fail because Tobirama is unreasonably fast (....part of me wants to start spouting my mokuton secondary agenda again here to explain his Speed) and also they're trying not to hurt him in any way which makes it a lot harder

Tobirama has technically relaxed somewhat in that he's now significantly less worried about the prospect of the Uchiha hurting or catching him (as long as he's obviously red-eyed and absent any Senju mon, at least, all bets are off on missions/battlefields) and has as a result started to a) gradually creep further into Uchiha lands each time bc hey if the Uchiha aren't too much of a threat then it's better to be within the patrols who would stop any bandits or rogue shinobi right? and b) has started wandering off to Uchiha lands whenever he feels like it instead of just when he's near his breaking point. like now whenever he has a free moment he's like 'hmmmm do I want to spend time fucking about with research or with Touka/brothers or do I want to go chakra bathe' and they're all weighed up near equally in his mind

(assuming that said free moment would also give him the time/cover/distraction needed for him to reach Uchiha lands and back without Butsuma noticing, ofc. he isn't stupid nor does he have a death wish. That Man assuming he'd gone traitor would be.............bad.)

so I mean the Uchiha were sort of right in assuming he'd relax once he realised they weren't incredibly intent on hurting/catching him. they were just wrong in hoping he'd relax ENOUGH to let them catch/talk to him

they're very disappointed. however they're also cautiously pleased that the Blessed child has not stopped coming back over and over again, and also that he is gradually coming further into their lands and two months ago when some (significantly less welcome) trespasser turned up and tried to attack the kid he even ran to an Uchiha patrol for help! Admittedly he didn't say anything, or stick around after, but hey he at least trusts them a tiny bit to go to them for help against an enemy, right? Progress! It might take a billion years at this rate but they WILL win over the Blessed kid eventually!

at this point it's been like, at least two years since Tobirama was first spotted. probably significantly more. the stalemate truly is getting a bit ridiculous but neither party is willing to break it for fear it would end badly (and probably specifically end badly for Tobirama/little Blessed child, realistically. given he's a small child and they're an entire clan whose land he is trespassing on, there's v few ways they could break the stalemate which wouldn't risk - at best - the kid simply never returning again or at worst the the kid/Tobirama dying or living but hating+distrusting the Uchiha forever or Tobirama getting kidnapped and suffering [unspecified bad fate bc Tobirama doesnt know which rumours may be accurate but he hates them all])

eventually, fucking years later (I'm imagining Tobirama somewhere between 11 and 16 but truly can't pin it down further it depends if/what plot I include later in this theoretical fic) the stalemate does get broken, but not exactly by choice

Tobirama was on a mission and fairly badly injured. not enough that he's at risk of dying, unless he does something truly incredibly stupid + fucks up his own condition further, but he's in a lot of pain, his adrenaline is sky high, and he generally had a shitty time on the mission. he completed it successfully- barely - but it sucked and he's pretty miserable at the moment. he knows what he SHOULD do is go home and report to the healing hall to be fixed up and then go recount the mission (and his many failures/perceived failures on said mission) to Butsuma but.

but.

he doesn't want to do that

to put it mildly

anyway, the Uchiha is significantly closer than his own clan due to the direction the mission led him in, and he's exhausted and hurt, and his disguise is compromised..

(if it's something physical like a mask/contacts/dyed hair/etc then he lost it on mission or it got washed out due to how So Many Things Happened. if it's something chakra based like a jutsu or seal then he's too low on chakra and too hurt/distracted to maintain it)

...so trying to get all the way past the Uchiha, in his Senju armour but clearly a red-eyed child, when he's too exhausted and injured to guarantee he could succeed in doing so, would be a really bad idea, right? right. like they'd probably see him at best and then they'd know there was a red-eyed Senju kid and far more realistically they'd successfully catch or kill him in this state

so obviously it makes more sense for him to discard everything that marks him as a Senju, whilst he's still conscious+has the chakra to seal it away surreptitiously, and then go nap on Uchiha lands until he's recovered enough to make it home safely

yeah, that's a good idea. he'll do that

(tbf this is a fairly decent tactic but he's also trying to convince himself because when the options are 'soak up the most wonderful chakra he's ever felt and have a nap safely on territory he knows he probably won't be hurt on' or 'go home and get horribly mistreated by Butsuma for doing so badly on a mission before he even gets a chance to rest' he knows which one he wants to pick)

so Tobirama discards his armour and most of his equipment (urgh why is the Senju mon on EVERYTHING he complains to himself) and seals it away, making sure said seal also isn't at all obvious. all the moving he has to do to get this done really sucks because ow. injuries. most of them aren't that bad, a lot of surface wounds, and none of them are fatal, but OW moving so much aggravates almost all of them

this more or less just leaves him in pants, an undershirt, shoes and a kunai pouch. it's....Not A Lot and the paranoia and vulnerability is prickling at him even once he's within Uchiha patrols on their lands and he keeps trying to assure himself he's safe there but it's not working. he's hurt and exhausted and he barely has any chakra left and now he's not even wearing his armour or most of his weapons and he doesn't USUALLY wear his armour on Uchiha lands but he's also usually wearing more and NOT INJURED and more heavily armed and-

to appease his panic so he can actually rest like he'd intended to, instead of just kind of hanging around or scaling some branches/outcropping, he instead finds a tree that has a small burrow at the roots, just big enough for him to fit and evidently not currently in use by whatever animal made it, and curls up in there. he's careful of course not to let any open wounds meet the dirt, that's just asking for infection - thankfully his pants are long and his undershirt has long sleeves, so he just has to curl his hands up in his sleeves and ensure his head is cushioned on the lightweight cloak that thankfully had no clan mon on it - but he feels a lot safer when he's hidden away in an enclosed space

he reaches out to the warm-spice-passion chakra signatures within the Uchiha compound, shifts a bit for the comfiest position he can find in his little hiding place, and finally feels able to relax for the first time since that horrible mission started

there. safe

he falls asleep

meanwhile a Uchiha patrol has found spots of blood and a lot of scuffed up footsteps along their border, plus one spot that's just, a mess of leaf litter and kicked up moss (Tobirama tripped over a tree root when trying to take his chest plate off, immediately felt irrationally angry about it, and kicked at the stupid root to get it back. he then felt stupid himself and pretended it didn't happen. the rest of the mess is bc he was p carelessly dumping his shit on the floor before sealing it away) and they're concerned about it

is this from a fight?? no signs of jutsu tho, or discarded weaponry....hm. at the very least, someone was injured and (given that as far as this patrol knows, all their clan members are accounted for or shouldn't have returned from their missions yet) probably also trespassing

better go investigate

so they do and they find....that's a Blessed. that's the same Blessed that keeps wandering onto their lands, and he's asleep in a fucking hole and bleeding everywhere. oh shit. also where the hell is his shirt?? that is not a proper over-shirt that is underclothing what-

ah fuck what do they do

ah fuck

they know they're supposed to help this Blessed but they also know that a) he's scared of them for some reason. possibly bc he may technically be an enemy to their clan? they have no proof but its a persistent theory over the years and b) he's definitely a shinobi there's no way he could have outran that trespasser without training nor ended up in some of the ridiculous places he's been (hello?? tiny Blessed?? why are you 30 feet up a tree) without the ability to tree-walk

so like. they want to just take him back to their healing halls or something, but if they try that they'll probably just scare the shit out of him and he'd likely hurt them - and more crucially - himself in trying to get away

so they probably shouldn't do that. but they also can't just leave him injured in a hole. he's a Blessed! they can't leave him like this!

so

what do they do??

they have a quiet argument/discussion and ultimately determine that some of them will stay guarding the injured Blessed and some(one) will run back to the compound to firstly explain what's happened + that someone else needs to take over their patrol route and secondly gather what medical supplies they can spare and bring those back here

when the assigned shinobi returns with the supplies they end up accidentally waking the Blessed, which unfortunately immediately confirms their worries because he freaks the fuck out. he seems to want to run but swiftly determines he couldn't get out of the fucking hole + past them without them letting him, and instead twists with a pained hiss, bringing his hands up to hide his face and build as much as possible

which is interesting. he doesn't go to hide his hair, nor specifically to hide the red eyes that mark him as Blessed, no he goes to hide other potential identifiers....which kind of suggests he is indeed from an enemy clan. hm. damn. doesn't make him any less a Blessed but oh boy that may complicate things later on

(hc for the purposes of this fic that as a kid/early teen Tobirama looked fairly generically (mainline) Senju, apart from his colouring, and it wasn't until mid teens when he got a massive growth spurt and his face started changing more that he began to look more like his (outclan) mother and taller+slimmer+narrower than the average Senju, with pointer facial features, and just generally look a lot less like Butsuma+less obviously Senju)

the Uchiha silently and unanimously agree that this would go better if he DIDN'T feel like the wounded cornered animal he currently is, so they get the fuck out of the way. they don't go too far away, still within view, but they make sure the Blessed has a clear run out of the hole and off/away, if he wants. they also ensure that the medical supplies are very visible within that cleared space

a minute or so later they're rewarded when the Blessed stops cowering, and shoots past them faster than they would have believed possible. he takes the medical supplies on his dash past though - victory! woo!

they have a little discussion whilst they wait for him to get whatever he feels is a safe distance away, and decide that yeah that behaviour definitely indicates he thinks some sort of familial resemblance or something is a) noticable and b) gives him reason to fear the Uchiha's discovery of such. so. probably from an enemy clan

but...he's Blessed, and he hasn't tried to hurt any of them or actually get far enough into their territory to spy, or anything like that at all as far as they've noticed, so...?

plausible deniability, they decide. plausible deniability is going to be the name of the game, here

they'll just pretend not to notice he's present/a potential threat and hopefully he'll pretend right back

(also, interestingly, when they send someone to try and follow after the Blessed from a distance, they find that he hasn't bolted away from Uchiha lands as he has every time previously he was spotted. as they expected him to do now, when he's probably feeling cornered and threatened as well as being injured. no, instead he's stayed well within the area the Uchiha patrol (if anything he's actually gone further within Uchiha territory which, what?) and has found another substandard hiding place in which he's using the offered medical supplies to clean and tend to what injuries he can, and then he actually goes to sleep right there. he leaves when he wakes up a few hours later, and they don't try to stop him - REALLY not the time - but. hm. interesting)

anyway that whole encounter pretty thoroughly breaks the stalemate

after that, the Uchiha clan (specifically their patrols) and Tobirama somehow develop a whole new dynamic which honestly is almost identical to the Uchiha attempting to gradually befriend and lure a feral cat into their home, meanwhile Tobirama gradually starts leaving metaphorical dead mice on their doorstep

it's...yeah, it's really weird, actually, but. it's working?? so??

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I’m so sorry you have to deal with anon hate! I’ll try to counter it and message you with nice uplifting words. I admire your blog and how much you use your platform to educate and speak up. You are a beautiful soul!!!

omg thank you so much my angel… this is so cheesy but it’s why I haven’t turned anon off yet despite getting distasteful anons. my blog has always been built on connecting w the wonderful ppl on here, and most times people are at their most comfortable communicating w me through anon so!! I rly don’t wanna severe that connection. and 99% of my inbox is a lot of love & kindness so I don’t wanna make it seem like it’s mostly hell bc it’s not

[accio-victuuri]

MY RECENT READS ( April - August 2023 ) 📚

a mix of manhua/manhwa/danmei novels. i’ve also been on an omegaverse binge so you’ll see a couple of those on here. this is my way of documenting what i’ve read and sharing it to anyone who is probably looking for their next read.

I have linked the actual source of where i read them so you can look up the summary & reviews and see if it’s something you like. Please mind the tags and warnings too. ^^

===============

MANHWA/MANHUA

===============

Limited Run ( Seasons 1 & 2 ) - sometimes i’m just in the mood for some toxic relationship with good smut and this hits the spot. tho the MC (Yeon-Oh) is really put in an ugly situation, and really just wants to have a better life and escape. It’s not his fault. The power imbalance is definitely there and like 99.9% of people reading it is there for the smut.

Love Shuttle ( Seasons 1-3 ) - I am very late to this story cause when I started reading this was always at the top of people’s rec lists — especially for omegaverse and now i know why. I love a younger alpha x older omega dynamic so I’m happy with that then add in the enemies to lovers trope. The characters are likable and the story progresses well. Usually for omegaverse, there’s always some angst going on but this felt enjoyable to me. Totally a good read.

Omega Complex ( Completed ) - I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS STORY. I have read it multiple times and it’s marked as completed, but the extras are not. If I were to pick my ideal omegaverse story and art it would be this. Again. Older Omega x Younger Alpha. This one is they started as childhood friends who became estranged because of “circumstances” and met up again in college. The school setting itself and supporting characters are well done too. Most stories have fleshed out supporting characters only if they will be a second couple or something, but this does not use that ploy.

There are misunderstandings but i’m okay with that. I know people are stupid and bad at communication in real life so i don’t really get readers who complain about it. Maybe if it’s too much or doesn’t serve a purpose. It’s necessary in this one tho.

THE SMUT IS GORGEOUS. No. Really. How can you describe smut as gorgeous? Well. Read it and you will find out. 👀

BUT THE BEST THING IS I AM INVESTED WITH THE PAIRING. I love them so much. 😭😭😭 from childhood friends to going to school together and all + grown ups.

Their aesthetic also kinda reminds me of the GG & WYB. so yeah.

Cheeky Habits of my Rabbits - what happens when you combine absolute cuteness and smut? This. I love it. It shouldn’t work, the premise is weird, but it’s a great read! hilarious too. Neungso is the most precious bunny!!!!

The Pizza Delivery Man & the Golden Palace ( on Hiatus ) - How do I even begin to describe this without foaming in the mouth. I wish the hiatus will be over and we will know more and see how the story progresses. It looks like a simple premise, MC is a pizza delivery guy who is struggling and he forms a relationship with a rich regular from the “golden palace”. BUT NOOOO. The writing is special. The way the ML’s struggle with his anxiety/trauma and how MC’s simple kindness helped him is so romantic.

Especially the scene when they first met in the rain and the MC offered his umbrella. You never know what people are going through, so it’s best to be kind. It was such a small gesture but it changed both of their lives.

It’s a story of how love can heal. 😌

Plus the MC — Woo Won is one of my favorite leads ever. He is so gentle and kind even if the world is treating him badly, he still makes a conscious decision to be good. He deserves all the love and success! ML ( Seo-An) better spoil him well! 😤

Their problems don’t magically disappear, it’s just easier to exist because you have someone standing beside you. 🤍🤍🤍

The New Recruit ( completed ) - a solid office romance. if you’re into that then pick this up! there’s no toxic power imbalance going on or abuse. I like how MC is someone who started his career a bit late, so he is older than his peers and still a newbie. A perfect read over the weekend.

Mr. Y & Mr. J - I can’t find the link to the completed version I read so sorry for that. Anyway, this one is with theme of “regression” is I think the right time. Where the MC dies and lives again years prior. So they get a second chance at life. The setting is also entertainment industry which i personally enjoy so there was no way i won’t like it.

Salad Days ( Season 1 ) - Something I AM VERY LATE to. I think everyone and their mom have read this so I won’t go into details. I loved the first season and will definitely go back to finish the rest. The pairing is so OTP material 💟

The side characters in the MC’s life, his friends, are so precious too!

Dawn of the Dragon ( Season 1 ) - Fantasy / Smut. That’s all I can remember. What I really wanna know tho is the backstory of the Dragon and who was his mate from the past. I have a feeling the MC is some sort of reincarnation of that person.

Raising Beta (completed) - A very short read. It’s fucked up. LOL. Basically the MC is a beta and the ML who is obsessed with him turns him into an Omega. not only that, he did a lot of other things all in the name of “love” and as a reader you are there to watch it and you can’t do anything to help the MC. It’s definitely an experience to read this. It reminds me of something Kai Bi Qiu might write so maybe that’s why I enjoyed it more than i should. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hyacinth (completed) - Awwww this one is sweet and makes me all somft. I have re-read this too cause it’s pretty short and the art is beautiful. The MC’s focus on how many meals he has shared with ML was a nice addition and added to the romance.

Plus their little family of three is so cute! XIAO YI IS THE BEST KID. 🥹🥹🥹

How to snag an Alpha ( Completed ) - All I can say is that it’s super funny and the MC is definitely a character. I got so much secondhand embarrassment from the shit he pulls but he ended up getting the Alpha so i think it’s worth it! 😂

Sweet not Sugar ( Season 1 ) - I found this when searching for “green flag” alphas and well this satisfied that. I love the MC here so i’m happy that he gets to be with someone who doesn’t treat him like trash. The MC is at a point in his life where he thinks everyone is out to abuse him in some way so meeting ML unsettles him.

LEE DAN! You deserve to be loved! No matter what happened to you in the past 🥹🥹🥹

December ( Season 1 ) - This is one that I actively check to see if it’s updated cause I’m so invested with the pairing. It should be the usual omegaverse trope but add in the backstory, somehow makes it special. They both meet years ago and MC who is an omega “awakened” the ML into being an Alpha. ML then looks for this mystery person and when he finds him, he will do everything to keep him.

I’m doing a very bad summary i know, i promise it’s not boring. There are other issues discussed in the story, like how horrible omegas are treated. I looooove it when the Alpha goes feral and violent in certain moments too but when it comes to his Omega he is somft.

Their library dates too!!!! 😍😍😍😍

Who’s baby is it? ( Ongoing 200 + chapters ) - My comfort read! I swear. The plot was initially straightforward then it went in a bizarre direction but i still like it. It’s still not finished even with all the chapters and I imagine they can still stretch it to last forever 😂😂😂

My fave would definitely be the children! Rourou!!!! I initially picked this up cause I wanted a story with a cute kid. and i got what i wanted.

+ Entertainment industry setting <3

My Delicious Dream Boy ( Completed ) - The kind of supernatural read that still manages to be fun and light. The MC here is funny without even trying. He only wants to have friends and experience “college life” after years of having to stay at home because of his sickness. The plot could have easily gone dark but it focused more on relationships and the pairing’s growth as individuals — which was so much better for me. Definitely a favorite and reread material.

Affectionately ( Completed ) - This could have been more fleshed out cause there is more story to tell but what can i do.. It is what it is…

It features cute animals cause the MC is supposedly gifted in interacting with them and the ML is the complete opposite. They also work at a cafe together. I chose to read this cause I wanted fluff and it did not disappoint.

My favorite glasses holder ( Completed ) - the MC and his love for men with glasses 😂😂😂 ML is a grumpy kitty and works so well with MC’s bright personality. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as i do. After this, I have craved for more modern setting stories.

===============

DANMEI NOVELS

===============

Deer Fei Fei - an adorable story of the MC who is in the entertainment industry and his “senior” who he idolizes. if you are into a fanboy getting his idol trope they give it a try. It’s also really short with 32 chapters only 💕

Transmigrated and forced to do Business - my guilty pleasure is when the MC transmigrates in the book where they are supposed to be the villain but they don’t want that. So they do everything the can to be on the good side of the book’s protagonist and well… we all know what happens after.

Have you ever met such a cold author? - Fanboy reader who writes fanfics meets his favorite author. That’s it. I was sold with the premise and it did deliver. ☺️

Bu Wang - I started the Manhua and wanted more so I MTL-d it over at gonzicp so I don’t have the proper english translation. I was just craving for a merman type of story and this popped up. It was nice! How the ML became so devoted to him and chased MC when he left AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Stars run to him - I have to take Knoxt ( website ) for this cause i swear i was only browsing completed novels and I randomly clicked on this. It’s what i love about Knoxt, there are translated works there that are not as popular. Absolute gems that deserve more audience.

This is a perfect example. 💕

DON’T LET THE SUMMARY FOOL YOU. I enjoy myself some fake dating for sure, but this is so much more than that. Especially that clue in there : “Gu Zhongyi has loved him for many years…” I don’t think I’ve ever read something like this and that’s why it stuck with me. It would have been so confusing but it was written very well and seeing it all unfold is a treat. Definitely a classic.

It seems there is light - Such a pure story. I swear. A great story about first love and two people who care for each other. It may be boring to some, depending on the headspace you’re in, but please give it a try.

-END.

[jam-jar2]

I HAVE A STORY IDEA BUT I SUCK AT WRITING AND ILL DEFOS FUCK IT UP AND ABANDONE IT HALF WAY.

NIGHTCRAWLER x TWISTED PARTNER

I need someone to write a story about nightcrawler (kurt Wagner) from Xmen. So you know how kurt looks like a “demon” but he’s so sweet, generous and heavily religious too.

Well I always thought about him having a partner that kinda looks like lucifer in that fallen angel paint, basically looks angelic (red hair, pale eyes, blemish free skin, almost a glow to them) but they have a really cruel power, like a matter manipulation or nightmare based abilities? Maybe similar to wandas powers but more on the darker side, Idk.

Their relationship would be rocky, her questioning the world and thinking the worst of everyone because they’ve experienced so much hate and neglect but that’s what almost brought them close, they both experienced negative situations in life and comfort each other through the healing process. She find him to be a safe space and opens up slowly, he find her beauty and her strong will so mesmerising, he shows her in compliments and affection. She finds herself always looking for him, standing by his side when she can, they almost are inseparable.

So it comes to no surprise to their circle of friends when the two take things to the next step and decide to start dating (even tho people already thought yous were a thing, months ago)

Yous would be a slow ride , with her issues with being bare (emotional and physically) and he’s commitment to religion. She respects kurts beliefs and honers his wishes, as does he respect hers.

They are a strange couple visually but when you watch and get to know them, they seem like two pieces of the same puzzle and are perfect for each other.

But my favourite thing about this! Would be the situation of when someone is petrified of kurt purely based on his appearance (even though he’s been nothing but welcoming) and they clearly avoid him, but they find themselves unfortunately in the same room where kurts partner is.

They speak about how kurt freaks them out “his yellow eyes are so fucking weird, he’s the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen” kurts partner is getting pissed but it trying to ignore them, she promised to be better, kurt wants her to do good.

However the person signs their death sentence when they start to make false accusations, bringing up the whole religion thing but adds almost a creep aspect to it all, ranting kurt as some secret predator freak.

The line has been crossed, she snaps and no one can stop her.

Suddenly the room seems to shake or change or maybe the person feels different.

Then there’s kurts partner behind them, gripping their hair and pulling back to her lips are next to their ear “I’d watch what you’re saying or else I’ll cut out your tongue and stitch your mouth closed.” her eyes bloodshot and iris glowing red.

Then the person feels a pain around their mouth and when they go to touch, they feel that it has been stitched shut with thread.

They brush out crying and are trying to scream, but in reality, to everyone else nothing happened, this person just started crying out of the blue and are now scratching at their mouth ( their mouth is perfectly fine)

Then at the other side of the room, there’s kurts partner sipping coffee . Twirling her fingers around as faint smoke slightly radiats off her fingers, she smirks and stops her illusions, bringing the poor soul back to reality.

Of course she gets lectured but the professor and several others about the wrongs she did and how she can’t play judgment as she wishes, that she should’ve just brought this to the professor and he would’ve dealt to it.

She doesn’t seem fazes by any of these words, but when kurt voices his disappointment, oh boy she’s devastated.

She knows she’s a monster and that shes not a good person, but the love of her life might be thinking so too, damn that’s heartbreaking.

She explained that they were making horrible accusations about him and she couldn’t hve someone speak such disgusting word but him, but he explains that people with talk and she can’t stop everyone who doesn’t like him. She tilts her head confused because yes, she thinks she could.

She has to protect him, he was the purest thing in this world and she wishes to keep him like that.

Basically this stories giving “I’d let the world burn for you” angry villain vibes x happy sweetheart hero. But don’t get it twisted, I don’t want. He can fix her, she does better blah blah blah. No

They’d probably break up a lot but they’d still hold torches for each other. They would probably be in a weird cycle of “ I’ll change” messes up “we don’t work” and probably a lot of kurt having to get a reality check of ‘there’s no good guy, bad guy’ it’s not so black and white, he needs to accept that she’s not a hero but she’s not a villain either, that there’s a grey in all this and she is doing her best for what she’s been dealt.

She probably goes through a whole lot with the separation and try’s to flee to end her pain. Maybe she finds something that helps her brain with this idea of nightmare judgement.

She’s obviously come back, and in some way, be that bit wiser and more steady.

Idk if they’d be each other’s end game, but they’d definitely each other’s issues in any other relationships because of how close they are and obviously their past together.

It’s definitely a if one of them gets hurt, the other goes ape shit. If there’s a party and ones get attention off someone else, jealousy.

Maybe a near death experience to final slap these two to get together and stay together. Or a death experience to make it a tragical “the one who got away” and they live one with the other in their memories, never loving again because they’d never find anyone who comes close to their love.

[hexkia]

Rating Aphmau Ships and explaining why!

So im obviously going to start with Aphmau and Aaron first.

So I know that Aphmaua and Aaron’s relationship has been a sensitive subject for some parts of the fandom. Mainly because Aaron was a senior and Aph was a Freshmen when they met. If we want to be technical as well, they met in the game way before that. I do like that Jess didn’t have them date then or get to romantically involved other then the kiss which could’ve waited in my opinion.

We see Aphmau crush on other people in s2 of PDH. We see how it effected Aaron( granted he saw Ein and Aph and not who see was actually involved romantically with.) We can see that Aaron truly feels deeply for her even tho they’ve agree to just stay friends. Aph also still comes back to him at the end. I’m just glad we get to see her with someone else other than him atleast once.

Now we can talk about Falcon claw university but honestly I feel like talking about that series separately because I actually really love it.

Now onto My street. We don’t see them interacting a lot at the start but we obviously get to know that she hangs around Aaron a lot and even stays at his place on occasion ( I believe anyway). I still wish they had more sconces to show the build up of emotions both from just that season but years or then wanting to wait till they are ready. Them getting together at the con felt like the right time to do so. They are with their friends, they are somewhere that may has all the things they love and enjoy together.

love-love paradise gives us a good glimpse of them as a new couple and navigating it specially when her mom comes around. Also can see the frustration of having people getting between them like Katlyn, Gene, and even Zane towards the end.

Lovers Lane was actually a decent season and I’m glad we got to meet Aaron’s mom and sister. I will say it did feel a bit busy at some points like having to deal with the cafe, adding Aaron’s family in the mix, Aphs mom, and Lucinda and Ivan’s stuff along with Gene again. The “break up” had me tearing up when I watched it the first time and still makes me a little teary but it made me no like Aaron’s Mom. I’m still iffy with her even now. But I feel like it was a good way to show how complex emotions and relationships can be specially with issues from the past that someone didn’t get help for affected them as they got older. We also see Aph own up to her mistake when she realizes what she did and how it affected him. Granted she didn’t know everything and it could’ve been solved if they talked it out but when you’re running high on emotion it’s understandable.

Do we have to talk about s4? If everything he did just to get her back and protect her in that sense doesn’t scream how much he loves that women then I don’t know what to tell you. To add onto this, Aphmaus year which technically isn’t a season but very important to the story shows how much she’s struggling and he’s all she thinks about . Her leaning how to heal just so she can help him so just muawh. Perfect.

S5? Them reconnecting , then making she’s choices together, and getting engaged. We see Aaron coming to term to being a werewolf more openly even his family. We also see Aphmau getting used to it and making little mistakes and Aaron eventually telling her how it makes him feel. You can tell even with not being Allison eachother for a year how they’ve grown as a couple and strength. She needed time to grow and heal and he needed to start embracing who he is. My only issue even with this season was I feel like Aaron was to big of a what we call them now a simp and seemed to be dumb down a bit. Maybe he it was because he was more calm and relaxed and just glad to be able to be with her. But it was just a little weird.

S6 wasn’t really full of romantic moments between them other than Aaron going crazy about Ein killing her. Also her going after him to save him after she comes back to life. Then we have the ending.

I’m excited to see how things will go in season 7 and now they grow as a couple after they reunite for the last time. Specially if my theory of time travel to “fix” the timeline is true. Overall as a couple I do like them and I feel like they are very fitting for each other. They are actually one of my favorite Canon ships in the series. 9/10 mainly since the story isn’t over and they aren’t perfect and have definitely made their shared mistakes plus just small things.

[cowboybrunch]

:3 soooo I have this sudden burning need to know everything you can tell me about Rosalie before your wrists give out. Can I trouble you for an infodump? Her tagged posts are great but I want to crack her open like a coconut.

i would LOVE to infodump about her!!! thank you for the ask!!! <3

let's start with some fun facts:

she's actually my oldest oc! in the original ORIGINAL draft of botrd (which was never completed and 80% of it was scrapped) the entire thing was in her pov! the story was more focused on her journey through grief

of all of the women in the story, she is the least violent and most soft-spoken (though she does have her moments) but this doesn't make her weak. i love a "badass female mc" as much as the next person but i really wanted her to highlight a quieter form of strength

her backstory:

her mother died in a freak accident car crash while she was in the car on their way to her grandparents' house. she was around 10 years old at this point. in the original draft, she has recurring nightmares about this moment (a defunct excerpt):

Goosebumps raised on her arms, and she opened her eyes to see dark clouds rolling towards them. She tried to speak, but the sound caught in her throat. Despite the windows being down, she couldn’t get enough air. Suddenly, it was pouring rain, the water soaking her clothes and the space on the seat that her body didn’t cover. Her mom kept driving, kept singing as if nothing had changed.

fast forwarding to the events of the current draft (switched to first person present tense), we begin with another death: her best friend Andrew

“Do you believe in ghosts?” I would ask him. “Do you believe in God? Do you think we’ll be okay?” Yes, no, maybe. He would never hesitate to answer, never tell me that I was being silly or that I should worry less. He would ask me, “Do you believe in parallel universes? Do you believe in aliens? Do you ever want to run away?” No, yes, maybe.

since she's been so "involved with death," she has the unique ability to sense Mortae when others can't— meaning she can see them when she shouldn't be able to, and her ears ring when they're communicating telepathically

“I don’t know why you can see me. You’re not meant to. I didn’t do anything to the camera. It caught what was visible, and I was not— am not visible."

That awful high-pitched noise sounds in my ears, louder this time, and it’s all I can do not to throw my hands over them. I do not want to add tinnitus to my growing list of unsolvable problems.

aaaand some rapid fire info about her

callsign "sacrificial lamb"

loves rom-coms

has debilitating insomnia

inquisitive, kind (most of the time, she tries her best), stubborn

first chapter in her pov is called "It's not a superstition if it's true"

her self-doubt puts her in many sticky situations. she needs to trust her gut!!!

favorite flower is daffodils (even tho they're technically a weed) because she likes knowing what people would wish for

biggest fear: being a stranger to the people she loves

she really is just a girl trying to heal and learn to live with grief, and she gets roped into this eternal war between Death and Theodore and becomes a catalyst for his ascension... justice for Rosalie!!!

taglist! (ask to be +/-)

@vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @fortunatetragedy @autism-purgatory @rosesonneptune @cartoonghosts

@dyrewrites @whoevenknowswhatimwriting

[therealressii]

do you mind if i give feedback on the game you're making?

i played a little bit of it (i got to the temple place) and so far i love the art style, but it is super not obvious what is and isnt an enemy? like i saw these garbage worms that damaged me, but they where so thin i died to them and didnt even see them

i also encountered what i think is a bug, where if you jump and then quickly jump after, you can almost double jump, and it gives you enough height to clear distances you probably could only climb without, however it does feel satisfying to pull off, therefore im unsure if its intended or not. i also couldnt heal, despite there being a control shown at the beginning that said i could, not sure if theres a reason for that or not

(also sorry i realize its kinda rude to ask if you want feedback, but then give it anyway, take that what you will lol)

last thing, a lot of the enemies are super vague in how they attack, and a lot of the time i die, its because an enemy i encountered hits me with something i cant really dodge, like the firelizzard guy, i hit him enough and then it blows up and jumps at me? i cant do any damage to it without dying before i land a hit, its just super confusing

i will say though, the platforming is really fun, if its a bit finicky, but so far the art style is stunning, and i love how the main character moves and looks. they look like they give good hugs lmao

sorry if this seems overly negative, but i love the game so far, and i cant wait to play more of it! (it might also be a problem with my potato laptop that i use lmao) ((also i realize this is a MASSIVE ask, its really easy to talk about this game it seems. i cant believe how little people are talking about this! its such a cool game so far and EOURGH i love it and i love the characters they hit all the right spots with me EUIUGH))

sorry for my inefficient way of typing, and the wall of text uuuh your really cool and i wish more people talked about your game and your art because its absolutely amazing how much you have made and how little its talked about! this is such a diamond in the rough and its absolutely stunning

thank you so much for playing, i always welcome feedback so don't worry about that and to address each point:

it was deliberate to make some enemies very hard to spot (blame pikmin 2 and rainworld) but it could be worth considering adding some additional audio and/or visual indicator i did plan on adding low threat music to play when any enemy was near you (similar to rainworld) though i haven't gotten around to learning how to make music yet so we'll have to see

yea that's a bug that appeared pretty early in development, a consequence of how the game detects if the player is on the ground or not i haven't bothered to fix it as my general rule for bugs is if it doesn't negatively affect the player or gameplay, i wont bother touching it so semi intended

im curious, did you ever craft any upgrades or know about that, including the healing potions needed to heal i didn't provide any tutorial or indication that there was a craft system for upgrades since i assumed that at one point or another the player would try to figure out what they could do with the materials that came from enemies, plants, and such sorry if that sounded rude, im genuinely curious for obvious game design purposes since i wanted to make roa with as little tutorial as possible to let players figure out the game without too much hand holding, but i could definitely add some additional tutorial/indicator besides the interactable arrow indicator

im guessing you went to the ruda'ishvura temple region straight away and that area is purposely filled with enemies with much higher health pools and damage its basically to indicate to players who get there early that they may need more health and general upgrades though i don't block it off based on boss progression since i want to allow the player to explore and well figure out their limits tho i could try make certain enemies a lil less confusing (not promises on that sorry akfaghs)

lastly, im curious about the "potato laptop" comment, were you experiencing stutters or anything like that optimization wasnt really my main concern at the beginning given that i just wanted to get something out there and as long as the game ran 60+ fps on my setup in the editor, i considered it good enough to run on most pcs and laptops but i might have to do an optimization patch of sorts if there are issues on lower end setups

anyways thank you so much again for playing roa and for the feedback, it is always good to get insight from different player experiences and their reactions/responses to my admittedly silly game design philosophies for my game

[gold-rhine]

can you ramble about the watsonian explanation on the differences between the playable characters' outfits and the NPCs'? or if you'd rather a different topic, you could discuss the limitations of visions, specifically if 1 vision can mimic another "element" (like how waterbenders in ATLA can do both water and ice, etc). I mean if visions can produce things like holograms, sentient constructs, heal people, etc, what are some other crazy ways to use them? are there hard limits?

eeeh i don't think its interesting to come up with watsonian explanation for smth that you know is 100% explained by irl. like its not a worldbuilding choice npcs look more boring, its costs limitations. like, you can come up with stuff, but at this point you're not engaging with lore, you're writing fanfic. like idk, traveler is clearly non-human lifeform that took human shape, but actually doesn't have human sense organs and perceives the world through different means. they have ability to somehow capture\summon spirits\souls ppl of teyvat and have them fight when called for. so the ppl that traveler is able to "summon" in this way are the ones that traveler also obv has much better opportunity to perceive, learn details, see in high res if you will, while everyone else is generic looking

as for the second, i'm not sure whats even the question here tho i do love to talk about visions. visions are pieces of primordial elemental powers that are adapted to a specific human and that human's perception of self and of the world is what determines how these elemental powers manifest. like, oz is fischl's tulpa, its her own imagination that gives him sentience and personality, i think i already talked about how summons who have personalities are tied to lonely ppl, projecting imaginary friends that they wished they had. like, every manifestation of vision's powers is kinda like 3-d printed construct from the human's mind. they can take any shape and practically any effect, depending on what vision user thinks they need\want, heal, shield, damage, but they cannot change the element.

atla comparison is not correct here bc "ice" is not a separate element in atla, there is no "ice nation". it's just water in low temperatures. its not true in genshin, cryo is a completely separate element and you cannot get cryo from just lowering temperature of hydro. you can die of cold on dragonspine, but hydro attacks won't freeze enemies here, you still need to add cryo. so in atla, waterbending is not "mimicking" anything, its just manipulating same element in different forms. much closer example is bloodbending, like neuvi is able to turn water into blood as hydro sovereign.

[mayskalih]

Hey!

Last time I asked about anime recommendations and it was nice to add some to my list.

I love your Kakashi art, your Sasori art and I am happy about it, tbh.

When I was younger, I used to like the idea of Kakashi and Tsunade instead of Jiraeya, cause I felt like he waited to long for her and those two are more fierce.

And I also ship Sakura with Sasori and Gaara.

I feel like the pink and red is just so aesthetic and even tho I liked Sakura and Sasuke individually, I wanted to see her with Gaara, cause is also strong, similar to Sasuke but a healed and mature, caring person while Sasuke was heartbroken and focused on revenge cause of Itachi, Madara, Obito etc

Plus, she wanted to be like a doctor, she is a healer and I imagine that she'd heal Gaara heart.

But Sasori is like her assigned enemy, some people view her as the protagonist kind version of Konan, but I do not see it.

Deidara goes for Sasuke, Sasori for Sakura and from what I remember, Naruto goes against Pain.

I wanted to ask what are your opinions of Naruto and Boruto.

Who are your favourite characters and why?

Are there any characters you dislike? I remember you said that Minato hurt a lot of your favourites (Obito I assume, the uchihas).

Who are your favourite characters to draw?

Do you like the changes in Boruto? Like Orochimaru being way more kind or Sarada unlocking sharigan cause of love for Boruto instead of hate..like most of her clan?

Are there any characters you relate to?

Who are your favourite canon ships and non canon ships?

I am just grateful cause you are so talented and so open about these rare ship yet never critical over what the community likes, I wish more people in this fandom were like this.

Hiii! Thank you for sharing your opinion. I hope you are then ready for my essay below :3 I don't watch Boruto so will only talk about Naruto.

My all-time favourite characters are Kakashi, Zabuza, Sasori, Tsunade. I fell for them as a dumb teenager and carried my love for them through the ages. Can't explain why, they are very hot, strong and at the same time weak, have an emotional baggage that is interesting to explore. Plus they are not the main characters, I really like that. I also very much like Konan, Jiraiya, Sakura and Kisame.

The character I don't like is definitely Minato. He's this sunshine boy (which I don't like to begin with) who fails, and fails badly. But no one really gives him a hard time and he doesnt acknowledgeit himself. I think he's lacking the character, so-called oomph, so looks very boring to me, I guess. I also don't like Obito, another sunshine boy (initially). Too much energy, too hard to handle. And probably any Uchiha in general are not my fave.

When it comes to drawing, I always prefer drawing women. Sakura, Ino, Tsunade and Rin are the ones I draw most, but I honestly like all of them when it comes to making pretty arts.

Kakashi has always been a person who I aspired to be since I was 13. I did relate with Sakura when I rewatched naruto in my mid twenties, felt that we both grew up together.

I generally don't find the appeal of canon ships. It feels like there's no magic. I'm always interested in the 'first' events, and allt he firsts in canon are kind of done. For non canon ships, I have plenty. Kakasaku, Sasosaku, Inosaku, Zabukaka, Kisasaku, Kakatsu, Jiratsu, Kakarin, Shisaku.. the list can go on!

[sexysilverstrider]

i finished the game aaaaaa!!!! oh my god i sincerely genuinely love this game? im usually a sucker for dramatic otome games with angst and dark themes but this wholesome romantic sexy otome game just fits its way nicely into my heart!

while slice of life, its basically a josei otome game and the adult working characters are people i can relate to which makes the game very enjoyable. i love every single one of these LIs and i love how their routes are straight to the point. there is drama but the drama doesnt linger and its resolved nicely with a bow on top 💕

and the mc? dude the only flaw that she has is that shes eyeless. akari has A LOT of personality that shes basically her own character. i adore akari so much. shes so real for making her boss fall hard for her, for being loyal to a single father, or for wanting to bang a 40 year old bartender immediately. queen

also it adds to the fact that this game holds a special place in my heart due to the fact that it was having an event in otomate garden, the place i and my cousin visited during our trip to japan. i fell in love with thw game at that time and i still do 💕

now for the route ranking!

1. kobase - i loved megane before i love megane now. his deep voice is so needlessly hot and he is hot and i love how fucking wholesome he is for someone who is designed to look like he has 10 kinks (he doesnt he has more self control n tht makes him sexier)

2. yofy - secret route 2 HOLY SHIT!! didnt think much of it besides him being cute but The Scene made him favourable to me by 70%. love this lil fucked up blonde. akaris lucky this is a slice of life otome because if it was the exact opposite she would be broken emotionally mentally n physically by now. still love yofy and his short route.

3. higa - SOFT GENTLE SINGLE DAD OF 1 CALL ME!!! secret route 1 is where its at im actually sad both his and yofys routes are 2 episodes short. still tho i LOVE higas route. love how extremely wholesome it was. love how sweet hinata is. love how strong n genuine akari is. love how loyal and sweet higa is. my only gripe was there was no smut but you know what i appreciate the sweetness of it all and he deserves his happy ending

aaand ya hahah! the other routes ill give shuya -> kou -> nori -> mitsuki -> rokuro. funny tht the lil brother triumphed the big brother lol. nthng against rokuro his route just pisses me off. however. the idea that rokuro meeting and falling for yofy!akari is just so twisted and tempting i almost wished it was real lol. shuyas route was nice n emotional kinda wish it was longer ;w;

so yea!! if u want a nice wholesome romantic sexy slide of life otome game, this games for you! definitely will heal you after playing all the traumatic otome games cafe enchante cough. definitely recommend this game. most probably no 5 in my top 5 otome games too! eeeeeeee

[therhythmafterthesummer]

!!! noooo D: i'm sos sorry you have a migraine and tummy aches rhythm :((( i really hope it gets better asap <333 sending you lots of hugs and warm blankets!!!

i'm doing well! went outside today to draw for my art class it was a lot of fun, there were a lot of dogs out today hehe uwu

but yes chris and his girl are indeed so dreamy they're so wholesome, every time i read or reread one of their stories i'm just ggiling and kicking my feet! like i love how you write chris's character, like the way he just makes his girl feel so wanted, that's such a nice thing to read <333 like even tho i don't think i am considered curvy in that way just reading those fics made me feel so soft and it made me feel better about myself and my own image i want you to know <333 to be able to read something where the love interest is just so accepting and loving is so like soothing and it's kind of healing in a way? idk if i'm making sense LOL and pls hold me while i scream bc i will take anything else you wanna add to this wonderful series

and yeah i was never really one for a/b/o dynamic stories bc it felt kind of repetitive sometimes, but seeing a different kind of dynamic was so refreshing and it made me want to try and tweak the norms of a/b/o dynamics myself (hehe maybe one day)

sorry my ask was so long asklhakfha *covers face* i had so many thoughts

i'm hanging in there ! being super brave about it rn 😤😤 trying to write through the pain and everything...

glad you went outside and had fun ! it sounds like a great time, i wish i could be more like that haha

and plssss not my fics helping you feel better about yourself... that's so wholesome, and i love when people tell me that bc it's like... idk, makes it feel like it's worth posting all these silly little stories, you know? makes me really happy~

i've always been a sucker for werewolves in general but i hated just how everything was so...aggressive all the time :/ not like there's anything bad with that it's just that it was all you could find and sometimes it got too non-consensual for too long and... yeah. sometimes we're not in the headspace for that sort of content, sometimes we are, it's just nice to have diversity i think lol

i'd love to read more unconventional a/b/o dynamics, so i wholeheartedly encourage you💜💜💜

[furinuris]

personal

Im pretty sure you don't remember this username anymore—even tho you were the one who made it for me, nor are you actively looking into how Im doing so I know you'll never see this but in the off chance that you do, I mean every single thing I wrote here even if it's coming from a place of deep seated hurt, resentment and anger, guilt and fucking embarrassment. im not sure why im writing this, I guess I just want to dump it all here for the last time,

At one point, i know —you loved me, as best as you could and it was amazing and freeing and healing. I never knew someone would go through all that effort to try and see me and considered me, and accepted me. to be loved is to be changed and considered and seen, and you, at some point in time did. And I'll forever be grateful for that, forever hold on to those memories and cherish them for they taught me the beginnings of self love. if someone as amazing as you could love me, why couldn't i love myself the same? And to be looked at with such affection despite me feeling my body was ugly made looking at myself in the mirror more bearable. I could finally smile at my own reflection. So i know it wasn't all this bad, yes?

you will forever have a place in my heart, i believe, and somehow i will always carry a piece of you with me. you dont get to love someone as genuinely as that and not have them be a part of yourself somehow. and so i know this hate will dissipate in time, but for now, let me. Let me resent you, as you have asked so many times before so i could finally walk away from this suffocating hold you have over myself. Let me hate your choices, the way you gave up, the way you chose to keep me in the dark at the end, and let me hate you so i may forgive you. Let me hate you so i can finally stop running away from this hurt that color my days gray. Let me hate you so I can finally heal.

You said so yourself before, you fucked it up —yes you did. I did not deserve to be ghosted for a month. I did not deserve to be led on that everything was okay, and that maybe you just needed the space for yourself for the boards. I've been witness to the heaviness you carry on your shoulders N, and I didn't want to, as much as i could help it, add to it. Im sounding a bit petty now, it feels as if I'm trying to wash my hands of any responsibility i might have had a hand in this falling apart but was I not good to you?

But I get it, people grow and sometimes you outgrow the people you loved. I understand, falling out of love is no one's fault—i don't blame you, nor hate you for it either, even if that hurts like hell. I do hate you for not telling me when you could've, for running away, for being a coward at facing the truth of it. For making me think you were needing the space for it (maybe you did) but knowing you could juggle being an admin, making new friends and even going on group watches with them while I sit at home hoping you're fine and the anxiety eating at me if we're okay or if we're ever going to end up okay or if you're doing well or if you're having a relapse or just.

I have never stopped you from doing the things you want and making new experiences, yes? and so please know, im happy to know you're growing, and making new connections and putting yourself out there. This version of you looks amazing. I just really wish you had the courage to tell me you were falling out of love with me then, it would have saved me this much pain. While you had the time to walk away and mourn the death of a relationship, I was waiting on you to comeback because the last time we talked we were okay weren't we? and isnt that unfair of you?

And haven't I been nothing but honest to you? Didn't I say, tell me if you dont want to and i will gladly let you go, as long as you're happy i wouldn't beg you to stay. If that was your way of figuring out your emotions then N, wasn't I worth even an emoji back then? If you couldn't stomach telling me. Was I not worth a single update; hey, i need time to think about us, please give me time and space. Was I not worth any of that? But there's really no point in asking now right? no point in dwelling because what has happened, has happened, and we both understood this was for the better (or atleast that's what i would like to believe)

I guess, I really just want to voice that truth out—I listened to what you said; Im not being pragmatic anymore, nor am I holding you at a pedestal. I am allowing myself to see things as they are, and I am finally allowing myself to embrace the truth that yes, I do hate you for this. I hate you, I hate how even after all of this—I will still find it in me to justify everything. I hate feeling guilty over hating you. I hate how I have to resort to this to take the step at walking away from you. I hate how I have to understand and hurt at the same time. I hate how, after all this, i still love you. I hate you, N. I don't want to, but this honestly broke me in ways I didn't know I could break.

You say, dont be a stranger because at one point before all of everything we were friends and you'd like to still have that part in your life right? You say dont be a stranger, but you ended up being one anyway. Maybe, someday, when I've made peace with what happened I'll take you up on that offer, but for now I do think it's best I turn my back for now. Im sorry.

I wish you nothing but the best, N, goodluck on those exams (I know, you'll push through it because you have always pushed through life and Im proud of you for that). I wish you'd find that peace and happiness you long for and deserve. I'm happy you've found newfound love. Im happy you're surrounded by people who love and care for you and support you. Happiness looks beautiful on you, it has always looked good on you gha. I hope the days are kinder and you get to enjoy and indulge in that pink feeling of new love and to enjoy your friendships. I will always be rooting for you.

Thank you, you were a wonderful experience.

maybe next time, in another life or whatever crazy ass astrology shit they talk about—we get another chance and maybe there we get it right, but if that doesn't exist well then it's been quite a ride ;)). Take care 🍊

I will always love you, in time that may grow into something less than it is now, but know that I will always have a space for you. (and somehow i kinda hate that too lol?)

-H

[randoimago]

Could I please request Percy, Pike, Keyleth, Vex, and Vax with a werewolf s/o Like they find out and s/o was trying to hind it Because they were afraid how they would react.

Finding Out S/O is a Werewolf

Fandom: Critical Role

Characters: Keyleth, Percy De Rolo, Pike Trickfoot, Vax'ildan, Vex'ahlia

Type of Request: Headcanons

Notes: Kind of a shame you didn't include Grog cause buff boy would be so excited. I'll happily write this for you tho!!

Keyleth

She's more of a druid of the elements instead of beasts and such. So you being a werewolf? That's a surprise! She really had no idea!

She asks you all sorts of questions. Ooh she can become a wolf maybe you two can communicate better in her beast shape!

There is some sadness that you didn't trust her to let her know, but she also knows how some people react to shapeshifters. 

So she understands why you hid it. But if you have any other big secrets then she wants to know!!

Percy

He hopes you don't shed everywhere. It's taken a while to clean up the castle, werewolf fur would be more annoying to clean.

Percy doesn't mind that you're a werewolf. Honestly with all the personal crap everyone has, it's good that you can add to the mix.

Could keep his ears open for some kind of cure if that's something you want. Really as long as you're able to control your shapeshifting then he isn't too worried.

If it ends up raining or something then he gladly makes the, "What smells like wet dog?" joke just to annoy you.

Pike

Uh you being a werewolf is so badass S/O! 

Being able to become a beast and just wreck your enemies? So freaking cool! You have her and Grog cheering you on!

Is a bit worried about if it hurts when you shapeshift. I mean your body does change quite a bit and she's heard some cracking before.

Offers you lots of healing just in case you're transformation hurts too much. Will make sure you have plenty of potions too even if you decline.

Vex

Really wishes you told her you were a freaking werewolf before you ended up shapechanging.

It freaked her out to hear your bones cracking and limbs expanding and now she knows why.

Her opinion of you hasn't changed, well she might be a bit upset that she wasn't told prior, but you're a werewolf. Werewolves are cool. 

Might have to keep Grog from trying to get you to bite him, thinking it'd change him.

Vax

Realizes how easily you can destroy him as a werewolf and that's kind of hot to him.

Has wondered how often you really hold back in combat or just doing small things too. 

Is it difficult for you to do things because your beast strength might come out or something? He has definitely kept a close eye on you trying to open a jar of pickles to see if it explodes.

Probably makes quite a few “moon” jokes around you just to try to get you to laugh or to teasingly annoy you. But hey, he loves you to the moon and back.

[yabai-korra]

The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

casablanca

first part — second part

© credits to the author, i found it on pinterest. if you are the author, please send me a message to add your @.

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

request by anon: Hi hi hello, I've a request night be a tad much but up to you to judge, reader is a fellow avenger and gets severely hurt and when Bucky finds her after a battle he's scared she might not make it and there's a lot of "please don't leave me/I can't lose you" and such, pretty please maybe? 👉👈

word count: 884 words.

warnings/tags: angst, mention of blood.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

You were lying in the wet ground, sunk in the mud, with not enough strength to move a finger. You coughed the last time you tried to ask for help, choking on your own blood flooding your throat. Your whole life was playing in front of your eyes turned into one of those bad comedy movies everybody hates but can’t stop watching it. The three holes hosting the untraceable bullets burnt in your chest. You couldn’t describe the agony you were through at that exact moment. Not only by knowing that you were going to die alone under the cold rain, but all the things you were going to miss.

That agent of Hydra took you by surprise, being more stealthy than even himself expected. He shot you in the back, but he was too far for the ammunition to cross your anatomy, being stuck within your organs. And you didn’t know what could be worse. A slow death to give you hope to be found, despite the suffering and the torture, or a quick death not having any chance but skipping that nightmare. In the end, not even Stark could help you to heal from two bullets in the right lung and another in the shoulder blade. He could keep you alive for a couple of days maybe, but at what cost? At the cost of seeing everyone around you begging you to be strong, to continue fighting? You wish you could survive one second more, but life was abandoning your life bit by bit, while behind you the blood mingled with the mud.

You were cold. Your teeth were rattling. The pain was disappearing progressively as your eyelids rolled down. Not even when you heard the noisy engineers from your ship, you were able to open them again. The tiredness was taking control over your body and you were accepting it was your time to go. The amount of blood you had lost was probably irreplaceable, meaning nothing how quick your squad was.

He practically jumped from the ship, running faster than ever in his life. He didn’t even know when he started to cry. Bucky kneeled on the ground to hold you onto his arms and raise you with all the care he could have in a moment like that. He had seen a lot of people dying in different ways, mostly because he killed them. But this was different. You were everything he had now, losing you wasn’t an option. James was about to collapse when he managed to lie you on your stomach on the stretcher that Stark and Banner prepared for you. The silence inside the ship was shattering, only interrupted by the heartbreaking crying from the soldier, not loosening the grip on your left hand.

“C’mon, doll… Don’t do this to me”. He sobbed pressing his lips on your forehead, while the others were cutting your uniform to find the bullets stuck in your back. “Please… Ple— Please, bear it a little longer”.

Nobody around them wanted to say anything about the fact that they didn’t know you two were this close, being the first time seeing and hearing Bucky this desolated. They were used to his grumpy mood, his staring in silence. But when you were alone, it was quite the opposite. He was kindly, playful, loving, and sweet. It was something that continued surprising himself, it was too easy to be like that with you, tho. And watching you dying... It had been by far the most painful moment of his life. He’d prefer one hundred years serving Hydra again than not spend a second more with you. Just a second. He’d pay that price more than gladly.

The first bullet was easy to remove from your shoulder, but Banner and Stark exchanged worried gazes when it came to the other two puncturing the lung. It was a big deal. They had nothing to lose, if you had to die, at least they’d try it till the end. Natasha sprang into action, being an expert with those kinds of untraceable bullets and the damage they could make, while Bruce started to monitor your vital signs at the same time he supplied you morphine and anesthesia.

“Don’t… Don’t leave me, ple— please”. Bucky begged once and again, kneeling close to you, spreading wet kisses because of his tears everywhere he could. “Y’know… You promise me… to watch Casablanca together. We have a lot of things… to do. So, please… please… keep breathing”.

“Buck… Hey, Buck… Com’ere, let them work”. Steve placed a hand on his half metal, half flesh to make him stand up, but he slapped it.

“NO!”

The soldier was determined to not abandon your side, giving them enough room to continue with the improvised surgery. He needed to give you all his strength, even silently praying to God for your life as he had never done before, not having a single idea of what else to do. Placing his warm hand on the back of your neck, James fixed his forehead to yours, crying louder as he thought for a second you weren’t breathing anymore.

“You can’t leave me… You can’t, (Y/N)... You're the only thing I have now...” He whined in murmurs, trying to not pay attention to the constant beep coming from a device behind his back.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and REBLOG!!! support the writers 🤍

TAG LIST: @mystic-232 @homesicam @theresnoplatypus @i-love-scott-mccall @slutfornat @goldielocks2004 @whatrambles @spidergirla5 @fanofalltheficsx @nocturnalherb16 @valenquei @golden-hoax @hunter-of-baker-street @missusstark @vhscherry @warm-sensations @addictedtofictionalcharacters @sarahsmcu @tinylumpiaa @amelia-song-pond @heartislubbingdubbing @stolenxkissess @clean-and-claire @winchestersgirl222 @virgoroses @marvel-ousnesss @me-a-hopeless-romantic @rvgrsbrns @maccasbeard @haileygarciasunshine @lewd-alien @kait-is-always-late @mckenna @weenersoldierr @mxltifaves @soldierstucky @theboldandthebootyful @arkofblake @isabellamur @kiwisa @spider-man-lover @rosiebrands @stealapizzamyheart @koressecretidentity @asemistablehundredyearoldman @mayans-sauce @petlaufeyson @megapeacelovemusic-blog @phoenixhalliwell

[animaniacs16]

Finished my reread of HOO!!! Here’s some thoughts: (long post below)

Jason is so freaking GOOD, and I think reading it after his death makes that so much more clear. Jason deserved better. His friendship with everyone, but especially him and Nico, shows his true kindness. He wanted to build shrines for the camps!!! I know he used to be thought of as boring, but rereading it, he really isn’t. Jason my beloved

Leo really is That Good of a character, but I dislike that so much of his character post-Ogygia was “Calypso Calypso Calypso” it could’ve been so much cooler to see the revolution in him that he doesn’t NEED a gf to be complete. That’s the one romance that rereading, was kind of unnecessary. I get why it’s in there, but it took over Leo’s character.

So many characters are Blorboized by the fandom and they’re so much more than people reduce them to, most chiefly Nico. I want to see fandom content of the characters as they’re portrayed in the books, not the fandomized version of them.

That said, Nico is the Original Blorbo for me- he’s been my favorite PJO character for years, and reading his chapters was wonderful, especially him beginning the healing process and realized how many people love and support him. I loved his writing in BoO, and I hope his character in the new book reflects how he’s written in previous installments, but also shows the healing he’s gone through. I also really hope he doesn’t go back to Tartarus purely because he’s done it before and it broke him, and we saw how bad it affected Percy and Annabeth. Having Will down there with him isn’t worth him going through it again.

Speaking of Percabeth, they are the DEFINITION of soulmates. One of my favorite couples of all time in any media. They went through so much, but they have each other.

Nico and Will bicker so much before they get together and it’s great. Also Will’s way of flirting (consciously or unconsciously) being “HEY I JUST DELIVERED A BABY FEEL MY HANDS SHAKING” is so funny djdjdjdnd and Nico is like “why did that make a current go thru me?” These two went to the Percabeth School of Friends to Lovers Battle Couple and I love it

Annabeth is the leader of the quest and I love it

People complained that the Seven didn’t really feel like friends and only focused on their s/os but I disagree. There were so many duos and trios that were explored that I love. I did want to see more of certain friendships tho, like Percy and Piper or Annabeth and Leo.

Coach Hedge deserves more love.

I love Reyna and Nico’s chapters in BoO.

I had seen people complaining about HoO’s writing quality in comparison to PJO, but I loved reading HOO on the reread so much!!

Nico’s coming out scene is brutal, and fantastically written.

REYNA IS SO AWESOME- I love the scene where she takes down Orion so much!! And her affinity for Pegasi and her respect, both from and for others, is great.

Frank :) He’s so kind. I wish he wasn’t underestimated so much by the other characters before he got his blessing of Mars tho. Give my boy some respect!! I do like that he’s still really respected after he’s not as buff in TOA tho. Frank is underrated too

Hazel is one of the most powerful demigods. She already was when it was just her Pluto powers, but add sorcery and it’s hands down.

There’s so many things that are different when reading it as a nearly 20 year old compared to reading it as a 12 year old. Furthermore, other books have come out that reveal more about the characters or their futures, retroactively putting more meaning into some parts of the series.

I’ve now reread PJO, TKO, and HOO. MCGA and TOA are next.

My old hyperfixation has grabbed me once again. Can’t wait for the Solangelo book and the series!!!