#I do ship them it's one of my closet ships but lmaoo!!!

[cvntycunt]

no contact ｡･ ˚ ‧

I masterlist

I pairing rafe!reader

I word count: 1.7k

I rafe's girlfriend, also known as your best friend. you have been best friends since you were kids, you did everything together. when the summer after freshman year rolled around, you got roped into the wrong crowd, rafe’s crowd. you did drugs, partied, did things maybe teenagers should not have done. but it was that night that changed everything, the night you had sex with your best friend's boyfriend and shipped yourself off to boarding school the same night.

I hope u guys enjoy :3 dis my first series lmaoo

exiting the plane you could feel the warm kildare air, it felt the same as when you left. you were nervous to see everyone that you hurt, your best friend ella, your friends, and rafe. after you had sex with him, you felt terrible. immediately regretting what you did, you had to get out… and well, you did, and now you're back. you know that everything has changed, or have gone back to the way that they were, maybe for them but not for you. 

you felt the breeze as soon as you walked out of the airport doors, bags in hand. you start looking for your parents car, looking around for a good thirty seconds until you finally spot it. You could not wait to hug your parents, it feels like it has been forever, but it’s only been a year. your parents call out your name, you run over to them and pull them in for an embrace. after exchanging very few words your father loads your bags in the back of the car, getting into the backseat and buckling up. 

“so, what are your plans?” your mother turns her head around and looks at you. you turn to look at her from looking out the window. you narrowed your eyebrows, 

“what do you mean?” 

“well, ella probably misses you?” she said with a scoff, “you remember her?” her mom and dad chuckled, you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

the last thing you wanted to worry about right now was Ella. you hurt her, how could you possibly look her in the eye and act like you didn’t fuck her boyfriend last summer? the truth was, you always had a slight crush on rafe. but you never said anything because rafe was HER boyfriend. he was not up for grabs, he was not yours and you knew that. 

“mom, i don’t think that ella would wanna see me.” you shrugged at her and turned to look back out at the window.

 when you drove through the remote controlled gate to your house, your nerves settled a little bit. You were finally home, and you were clean most importantly. as soon as you opened the car door you ran inside, you didn’t even have time to close the car door. you ran up to your room and turned the knob to open the door. you looked around and realized that everything was left the same. you smiled to yourself. your room was the only good thing about being back, well… and your cat.

10:00 PM

you were laying in your bed, watching euphoria on your TV with your cat until you got an instagram notification. you went to check who it was… topper, rafe’s best friend. you rolled your eyes, and clicked the notification. you read it for a second before answering.

@topperthornton: yoo, heard u was back. ru going to the bonfire tonite?

@you: why are you inviting me?

@topperthornton: well, rent u like one of ellas friends or wtv? 

you stared at the message for a moment before deciding to get up. you grabbed the television remote and switched from max to spotify and played a song to get ready to. you stepped into your closet and picked out some ripped jean shorts and a tight spaghetti strap top that showed off the curves of your body. you walked over to the bathroom to detangle your hair with a hairbrush. as you brushed out your hair you couldn’t help but think that you are gonna see your best friend, and potentially the guy you fucked after a year. it makes you sick and wanna throw up. you had all this guilt on your face and people could tell from a mile away. 

you set the hairbrush down on the counter and stepped back into your room to put on some air forces. grabbing your jacket and your phone, you snuck downstairs quietly. trying not to wake up your parents, you walked out of the house closing and locking the door behind you. 

your mind was racing through thoughts, thinking if this is what you should do, deciding to fuck it and just do it anyway. if anybody found out what you have done, just imagine the names and disgust people would give you. it would ruin your reputation.

Riding your bike to the bonfire, you kept thinking if this was a bad idea or not. you knew being back there would be consequences for your actions at some point. you pulled into the parking lot by the beach, parking your bike against some post. you heard distant laughs, loud music, and talking, and just like earlier you wanted to throw up. but for real this time. 

approaching the bonfire you immediately saw ella, couldn’t help but smile, until you realized that she was dancing along some dude, a tall figure. he turned around and your face turned from a smile to a blank stare. 

it was rafe, and then all of a sudden you couldn’t help but think about that night.

you were unable to resist the raw need in rafe’s gaze, he took a step closer, bridging the gap between you two. your bodies pressed together, the warmth of skin against skin soothing the lingering chill. rafe’s hands come to rest on your waist. Your lips met in a gentle, questioning kiss…

you snap your mind out of it, it is selfish to think about that night when your best friend is literally dancing against his cock right now. you grabbed an unattended drink off the ground and downed it, leaning your head back as you chugged it. you threw the empty plastic cup back down on the floor. 

someone calls out your name, you turn around and see it’s no other than sarah cameron, also known as rafe’s sister. goodness god, you can’t help but think to yourself that you can't escape a cameron, no matter how hard you try.

“omg! i didn’t know you were coming!” she pulls you in for a hug.

you quickly pull away, not really in a huggy mood because you were sweating your face off with guilt. “uh, hey!” you say, acting amused.

“i heard you went to boarding school? finally got in trouble for your acts, huh?” sarah was a bitch, all you wanted to do was slap her across the face and put her in her place. she was one of your friends before you got in with rafe’s crowd. now it’s awkward, maybe more than awkward. It’s just… weird…

you turn back around and start walking past ella and rafe. as you walk past. rafe finally spots you. 

“is that...” rafe says, looking down at ella.

“what? she’s back?” 

ella scoffed, she was pissed you didn’t even text, or call. Even in boarding school you never wrote to her, you were too ashamed of yourself. you thought going to the bonfire would be a great opportunity to reconnect with your peers, however it just made things seem worse. 

meanwhile, you took a seat at a rock looking at the ocean. hearing the waves crash against each other gives you peace. you see out of the corner of your eye a tall figure approaching you, when it got closer you saw that it was no other than rafe cameron. he wanted to speak, but you would not let him. “do not fucking start.” you said in a harsh tone looking up at him. 

“can we just talk? please?” he replied with a look that made you feel even worse.

 “fine, what do you want?” you asked as he took a seat right next to you, 

“why did you leave?” he turned to look at you. everyone in Rafe’s life treated him like shit, his father, his sister, even his girlfriend. you didn’t wanna be one of those people that let rafe down.

 “i–” you were trying to think of the words to say to him, trying to alter the reason why to make him believe he wasn’t a part of the reason as to why you left. truth was, you were tired of all the lies for the past year, so you tried something different. “what we did was wrong, rafe…”

the truth with rafe was he hated how you worded it, it obviously happened for a reason. that night changed him forever, last summer you took his virginity… and he took yours. but you never knew that, ella never talked about her sex life because the thought of it made her want to die. “i’m sorry rafe… this is not fair to you, i shouldn’t have come back.” you say while raising to stand on your two feet. you turn the other way and start walking the other direction from the bonfire, tears forming.

12:26

after you arrive home, you enter your house. you close the door and lock it behind you. making your way up to your bedroom, you opened the bedroom door and you felt your back pocket vibrate. you pull your phone out and see a message from an unknown number.

unknown: please just let me talk 2 u

you: who is this?

you knew who it was, you weren’t stupid. but you didn’t want to show him that you still cared, even though you do. It isn’t fair to ella, you already hurt her. 

unknown: its rafe

rafe: let me come over?

you: leave me alone. 

you didn’t want to block him, afraid that would make things even worse. you simply just put your phone on do not disturb and you go to place it down on your bedside table. undressing yourself and changing into some comfortable sleepwear, you went to go check your phone to see if rafe was still texting you, and no surprise he was… forty-three text messages in the past five minutes. you sighed, before going to the bathroom to brush your teeth. stepping back into your room, you turned off the light and quickly hopped into bed.

⠀⠀I two

[dearweirdme]

i think what i am getting from most of this discourse about how you a distinguish a couple, or tkk being real, whatever whatever, is about having faith lmaoo.

i fully admit i am a delulu when it comes to tkk, i see their interactions and i can easily tell they're different you just have to know how to spot it. you can tell if you already know. but at the same time, most of my army friends will watch the same interaction and be like "wow they are such good friends!" now idk if they are turning a blind eye to the obviousness or they simply just don't see it and me being a closeted believer would be like "yeahhhh haha"

now i'm thinking maybe it's because i am a believer that i can see them differently than others. it is kinda like believing in a religion, no matter what any other religion/person says you will rarely ever lose your faith. or suppose if you're atheist/agnostic then no one can convince you to have faith

so what i think is that other "shippers" will hold on to their faith and continue to believe that their ship is the truth and in the same way we will continue to believe in ours.

(also whats with ppl wanting to be believers?? trust me once you see it you cant unsee and its not easy being a tkkr don't get into this business its not for everyone, too much hardship 😭)

Hi anon!

Sorry for responding late!

😂 I very often wonder about the amount of hidden Tkkrs amongst fandom. There’s such a stigma on being a Tkkr that I think many just don’t dare to mention it amongst their seemingly neutral army friends. I know I won’t easily talk about it to people I don’t know whether they are Tkkrs or not.

I think there’s a few things important to be able to see. Acceptance and support of queerness, knowledge about the amount of closeting in the music industry, knowledge about SK’s ideas about queerness, an understanding of Sk culture as a whole, an understanding of what adult long term relationships look like, and an understanding of Tae and Jk as persons.

I’m an atheist (one who is not going to get into a theological debate on here 😂) and for me your comparison with religion does not really hold. I think it will be really easy to make people stop believing in Tae and Jk as a couple. Without wanting to insult, for me personally I believe in Tae and Jk because of what I can see and witness myself and I don’t think that’s what religion is based on (again… I’m an atheist 😬).

Yeah I would not advise people to become a Tkkr 😂😂. Personally I do love it here, but it’s also a very wild and emotional ride most of the time.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

I am nothing if not bitter and you sent me an ask that took me 50 minutes and made me lose sense of reality by the end so here you fucking go my love < 3

🍓 , 🍄, 🔪 , 🍦, 🦴 , 🧩 , 🐝 , ☁️, 🛼

nvfjnbvjgnbjg ah yes, well I sort of deserved it I suppose. Look at you distracting me from reading the pirate fic tsk tsk

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

This is actually so embarrassing urgh,, I had just gotten into Hetalia and I realised there weren't a lot of male reader inserts so I decided to write that,, I think perhaps even earlier than that I might have written some Y/N x One Direction one shots that are floating around somewhere in a One Direction fan group but we'll just pretend this answer and this question doesn't exist jvfnjbngjb

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Uuuuurgh,, I have so many, how am I meant to just pick one???

I like the idea of there being a rumour about rosekiller going around that Barty was caught sucking Evan off in a broom closet and Barty's fully embraced it—in reality all they did was kiss lol

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I recently mentioned the Dr. Miles Nervine medicine thing but other than that I also recently got to look up the sort of hedges and fruit that grows in France

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

I hate two characters, Dobby and Umbridge and since I'm not allowed to say my favourite thing about Dobby was when he met his end I'm left with very little to say. I suppose it's admirable how neither of them ever succumbed to beauty standards. I'm partially amused by Dobby's fashion sense and I suppose one could admire that Umbridge has committed to just being a nasty cunt through and through, it must be tiring to be such a warm turd of a person all the time. That's all you're getting from me, sorry

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Whatever I'm reading at the time! And sometimes even a movie or something (though since I rarely watch those, I rarely get inspiration from that). I also just get very inspired by all the people in this fandom who create things for us all, whether it's writing, artwork, text posts, edits, cosplays, funny videos etc.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Bad grammar or like,, sentences that don't make sense. Even faster if it's both. Or just entire blocks of text, I just can't do it.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Well, well, well, halle-who could that be? Lmaoo just kidding,, my biggest supporter is definitely @orchideous-nox, there's nothing better than yapping with you for hours < 3 You are such an incredibly talented writer and an even lovelier person and as much as I love to tease you, I'm also equally thankful for you < 3

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I was so new to the fandom and I had no idea about anything other than basic Harry Potter knowledge from way back in the day so I tried coming up with something that made sense lol. I wanted to write fics for the fandom, therefore future journalist and then what's a writing platform in the Harry Potter universe? Well, quibbler sounded more fun with the rest than Daily Prophet lol

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

Since you also know my inspiration I've taken the liberty to be a little funny. 🫣🌊🌅🍑🥵 for my most recent jegulus fic < 3

[stellamancer]

OOOOOOHHH NIKU for the ask game 😌 niku x gojo 😌 summer camp au + fake dating au 😌😌😌

wILLOW THE GALL YOU HAVE SENDING TWO..... i'll answer your second one after i square away another different one.

enlightenmeat (niku x gojo) -> summer camp au + fake dating au

i have never been to a summer camp so i know very little about the experience. i went to like... vacation bible school as a kiddo. but summer camp you actually... stay wherever right?

anyway, i guess me and gojo are fucking camp counselors. the kids like us both more than everyone else because i'm pretty chill but gojo is the fun one who sneaks into the rooms at midnight with cookies and a nintendo switch and i fucking find out the fucker kept the kids up til 2am playing goddamn overcooked.

anyway. uh. the fake dating part. i guess maybe the kids think it's fun to as we would say 'ship' us. set us up or whatever. they keep doing it and it's harmless even tho i am very adamant about not dating gojo because he is an annoying menace. god knows what he's thinking but the children are so earnest in their attempts and cute.

one day i am venting a little bit about it and gojo is like 'well maybe then we just pretend? then they'll maybe stop it.' and naturally, obviously, at first i fucking refuse, because it just sounds like he wants to do it just to fuck with me because that man is a menace. but he uses logic to convince me and so the next day we stage a stupid big confession and like the kids see it, and maybe i get a little nervous and the heart does the pitter patter thing, but we start to pretend to date so that the kids stop trying to lock us in storage rooms and closets together.

i think it will make things better but it does not. the children find new ways to be annoying about it. asking me questions about what i like about gojo (nothing, sorry kids). sometimes some of them will watch us as if they were watching some kinda romance movie or something an i am forced to do shit like hand feed him and other coupley things. and of course, of course he's fawning in all the attention especially the attention i am forced to give him now as his fake girlfriend it's terrible.

maybe i develop feelings as things go on because that's how fake dating aus go. i still don't know how gojo feels because he's the way he is. i actually don't know where it goes from here. but i guess maybe me and gojo didn't know each other prior to this so when camp is about to end we're also supposed to go back to our regular lives. i am adamant about not being sad about it but.. well who knows.

when it's time to go back home, he ends up accompanying me there and like i pretend to say i don't want him to do it but. i let him because it's the last time i guess? we get to my door and i think about asking him to stay but i don't. he says he'll message me later and i say i will too thinking he's lying and that i'm lying.

but then he does it. wow. and i guess that's where i'd end that fic LMAOO

i'm surprised this turned out as long as it did oops .

[send me a ship and two fic tropes and i'll tell you how i'll mash 'em up]

[platinum-iridium]

I’m the Claire wall of text anon, thanks for your reply. I love ur takes in the tag bc everyone else in there is shippers, reddit has too many men & ppl ik irl don’t give af bc copaganda (true but this isn’t a scholarly study plus they be acting down lmao). Anyway I agree about Skoda, total NUT. How are you psychologizing when you hate half the population??? sent an ask about the prostitute ep a while back and idk if you’ve gotten there yet but his behaviour put him on my eternal shit list. I only got to s13 but I hope he was harmed. And slow. Also agree about Abby. She would definitely be a terror but not the way they wrote it. But that’s men for you lol. Also ‘kim jong il’ about that woman’s fashion took me down!! & season 12 is also where the writing starts to noticeably take a dip for me (10 if I’m being strict but Lenny & Ed made it fun). With 12 it doesn’t help that they’re writing to shock and Jack and Serena don’t have that easy chemistry he had with the others. I tried to see if she was lezzing out on the low on my rewatch but I got nothing. There’s one gay male case but she’s not overly sympathetic to the man and later she tells a story about her closeted ‘friend’ but that’s it. No dyke drama in least lol. I do like her tho, mainly because I think the actress was better than the writing which was so flimsy. And same on SVU those two are grown and playing footsies like this as a senior citizen is insane & pathetic. Bang it out and move on fr

idk how people are inspired to ship fr. jack and claire should have left the viewers with lasting ship induced trauma.

i like skoda as a character (not as a person) because he really represents how psychology can be wielded as a weapon institutionally, especially in contrast with olivet. and really the both of them are guilty of it bc she’ll call u mentally ill and get u locked in a facility and he’ll call u sane and send u to prison. either way ur fucked.

abbie was honestly a missed opportunity. she was good but she could have been great. i think the writers looked down on her too much to give her the writing she deserved.

yes lmao honestly i like briscoe and green but the writing was definitely better in my memories. they’re fun and funny though so we can overlook subpar writing. but the law part can’t be carried on charisma alone, especially not with jack and serena. maybe the subtle awkwardness is supposed to be the only hint at her sexuality we get. that would actually be kind of funny. i just hate that the writers couldn’t seem to actually nail down her values. she feels inconsistent. her opinions are whatever side the writers wanted to argue with jack. her or nora.

lmaoo i can’t even believe people want bensler that bad. like their chemistry was so much more potent when it was ‘will they or won’t they’. this limbo of he wants her but she’s too damaged or whatever is giving me an ulcer. at least she’s still fucking other men. if she was deadass holding out for him i’d have stopped watching

[athyrabunlord]

Yoshiko and Mari 50

“Why does anyone have to be naked?” [Prompt List]

A/N: I looked at the two chars and then at the prompt and laughed for a solid 10 seconds. Anyway, I tried to not make it crack. Tried.Words: 867italics = Mari’s Engrish

“So? How are you feeling?”

“P-Purified…”

Yoshiko sprawls across the couch, which by the way has the softest cushions ever. It’s as if she’s sinking into marshmallow of utter goodness and, to think, she just had a bunch of actual marshmallow dipped in rich chocolate too! It must be a fallen angel’s instinctual attraction to such heavenly attributes.

No, Yohane, you must not be tempted, stay strong!

She tries to get up, but her body is still on strike and she flops back down onto the couch with a half-hearted sigh.

“You really live like this everyday, Mari?”

She peers up at the older girl, who grins down at her playfully. “Of course~ Well, I did tweak a teensy bit to make this the most fantastic experience ever but yes, this is a slice of my life!”

Yoshiko chuckles feebly, unable to comprehend just how wealthy her fellow Aqours member is. After the first ever visit to the amazing Hotel Ohara, Yoshiko had asked if she could come again. The enigmatic blonde happily set aside a Sunday so her ‘precious angelic kouhai’ could experience how she lives her life for one whole day.

So far, everything feels like something from the movies - a milk bath in the morning; a fancy breakfast buffet; a tour around the Hotel’s various 5-star facilities; an incredible spa treatment that almost made the fallen angel ascend to Nirvana; a quick trip to the Diving Shop to greet (read: harass) Kanan (which Yoshiko finds to be unnecessary) that ends with Kanan peeling Mari off of her chest; a mouthwatering lunch service at the penthouse with the perfect view of the sea; a phone call to chat with (read: harass) Dia (again Yoshiko finds this quite unnecessary) that ends abruptly with Dia shouting; and now, a luxurious afternoon tea in Mari’s own private suite.

Yoshiko feels so very spoiled.

“Okay, come on, let’s stick to the schedule~” Mari claps her hands and beckons for the younger girl to follow. “It’s time for a shower!”

“Huh?” Yoshiko says intelligently, having rolled off the couch and crawled a few paces before she manages to get up.

“I always take a shower in the afternoon~ Tada! I’ve even prepared the strawberry-scented lotion in case you don’t like my lemon one.” Mari spreads her arms wide at the sparkly-clean chamber that has various nozzles coming from different directions.

Yoshiko gapes behind the proud girl. Honestly, the whole place is overkill for something as simple as a shower. It looks like a combination of a (very, very fancy) car wash and full-body scan equipment (that has aesthetic decorations of course).

“You… really take a shower like this? Everyday?” Yoshiko has to rub her eyes to ensure she isn’t imagining things.

“Well, I use a different one but I’d come here whenever I feel like it!” Grinning, Mari turns to Yoshiko and begins to pull off the latter’s clothes.

“Yeeeek!!! What do you think you’re doing?!” Yoshiko hugs herself and hastily scrambles out of reach.

Mari tilts her head. “Undressing you duh?” She then proceeds to strip herself.

“Hey hey hey! Stop, stop it now!”

Mari gives her an exasperated look, as if she is the weird one. “What’s wrong? We’re taking a shower, aren’t we? Hurry up, take off your clothes already. Chop chop.”

“Why does anyone have to get naked?!”

Mari blinks. “You take a shower with your clothes on?”

“NO! But you, this-”

“Hmm, it’s kinda cold today… see my goosebumps?”

Yoshiko lets out a string of incoherent whatever, covering her eyes just as Mari takes a step towards her to show her arm, clad in only her undies.

“Stop! Halt! Stay where you are- eck, stop trying to pull off my dress- aaahhh you’re too close!”

With her hands occupied in wrestling for the control of her clothes, nothing blocks her gaze from wandering all over the older girl’s voluptuous body. Uh-huh, nice curves all around, smooth skin, and very endowed-

Screeching again, Yoshiko clenches her eyes shut and is distinctly aware of hot blood rushing to her face.

“Why are you so bothered by this?” Mari’s voice is sweet, and just a bit smug. “We’ve seen each other countless times in the changing room-”

“That was different! We change clothes, not strip naked!” Shit, she’s losing strength. Any minute, the dress would slip away from her grasp and Mari would easily pull it over her head…

“Well, we’re getting naked for a reason. Like I said, people don’t shower with their clothes on, do they?”

“I know that! But people don’t shower together either!”

“Why not? The more the merrier~”

“Argh, you’re impossible!”

“Seriously, what’s the big deal? What’s wrong with us simply taking a shower in our birthday suits?”

“Because I’m goddamn gay that’s why!!!”

With her ears boiling, Yoshiko shrieks out her bottled frustration at the abrasive blonde. Her words echo in the spacious chamber, and the ensuing silence unnerves her enough that she dares to open her eyes.

“What a coincidence,” Mari’s smile now has a sultry curve to it, her purring voice sending a rather pleasant tingle down Yoshiko’s spine. “So am I.”

[dimorphodon-x]

Two Attempts at a Life

I woke up this morning and chose 'continuation' lol actually I spent a good portion of the morning hanging out with my grandma

There might be a third part, but I'd like to figure out what kind of ending I want to give these guys first. A good ending would be nice, but would it really be possible? Would a good ending be an 'everyone dies'? Do they even deserve that? Or is Hawk doomed to be a cryptic cockroach forever? Lots to think on lmaoo

SG sentient Lost light au by @cuppajj

—

—

First things first: get out of the closet.

Easier said than done when fighting against hyper aggressive sparkeater instincts. Before being killed, Starhawk had almost complete control of his urges, able to keep Slingarm’s ‘upgrades’ well hidden. Even Rodimus didn’t know about it, just under the impression that Hawk liked biting him on rare occasions. Of course that was before all the slag that went down with Lost Light. Starhawk hadn’t been able to indulge his hunger for centuries.

That may be why his instincts had grown so ravenous, in addition to trying to take advantage of control while his own consciousness was gone. It took him several minutes to wrestle them down so he could properly think.

The mangled jet shook his head, a few more tiny pieces of his face flying off. The fact that he still could think despite being sparkless was nothing short of a miracle. A mindless sparkeater would just start clawing at the door like a locked up dog, alerting the Lost Light of its existence.

He examined his small dark prison, his modified eye zooming in on small details of the door, walls and ceiling. How lucky that his face wasn’t thoroughly destroyed, his upgraded eye often came in handy outside of hunting.

Though even still, his eye had its limitations against the pitch blackness of the closet, so he unraveled his tendrils. They slowly and delicately explored the enclosed space like whiskers. 

‘There,’ Hawk turned his attention to the ceiling. A loose panel he could squeeze through. The loss of his shoulder armor had slimmed him down just enough. How lucky.

He carefully pushed the panel away and pulled his frame through the small opening. Freedom (kind of) but now he needed to figure out where exactly he was and what to do from there. Definitely check to see if he did manage to end Rodimus’ suffering.

..

Starhawk’s remaining talons dug into his palms as he clenched his fists. From the white bits of armor, the same bits he was missing from his own frame, he had indeed hit his intended target. But not well enough.

What was left of his face pulled back in a silent snarl. Curse this stupid ship! Once he was done with his captain, he’d have to find some way of destroying the Lost Light.

The sparkeater part of him suggested hunting down the titan’s spark or brain. Tempting, but he would have to think on it. He never was one to be adept at strategizing, but he needed to be careful now. He likely wouldn’t get another chance if he was caught, if the ship hadn’t detected him already.

After glancing about the room from within the vent, he determined that the area was clear. Slowly and carefully, his tendrils slithered through the vent and hovered over the floor, making their way towards the motionless frame in the chair. The sharp prongs at the ends flexed as they neared Rodimus, detecting his spark. Hawk couldn’t stop himself from drooling.

The click of the door beginning to open caught his attention. Immediately, he reeled the tendrils in and retreated before the door had fully opened.

He’d have to try again later.

..

After retreating from his first (or technically his second) attempt at taking Rodimus’ spark, Hawk had gotten a bit lost. It still wasn’t clear if the Lost Light knew he was crawling about in its walls like a giant rodent, though he was pretty sure he’d be properly dead if it knew.

Maybe being sparkless made his presence harder to detect? He probably wouldn’t ever know for certain. 

Starhawk peered from a vent into the empty hallway as one of his tendrils picked through a nearby body (he was pretty sure it was Magnus from the size and general shape) but there was surprisingly and disappointingly very little to scavenge. 

Most of his time had just been scavenging, wandering and resting. A lot of resting. Going into a dormant state helped calm his mind and give his body time to slowly recover from being ripped apart, as well as save energy. Long dead bodies were a poor source of nutrients for sparkeaters, apparently, and strangers that came to explore the empty ship were few and far between.

He never killed them anyway, as much as he wanted to, as a kill would reveal himself to the Lost Light.

Hearing footsteps, Starhawk once again retreated deeper into the walls of the ship before whoever it was (more than likely Lightlost, if not an unfortunate explorer) stepped into view, taking what little he could of Magnus with him.

..

He snacked on the scavenged remains in one of his designated resting spots. His senses remained highly alert as he listened to the ship’s inner workings. Primus, it was taunting him without even realizing it. All that fuel just sitting right there, waiting for his tendrils to siphon it right from the wall.

The urge to feed was growing stronger as time passed, and he was aware of this. The hungrier he got, the harder it would be to think rationally. He sighed and rubbed at the intact part of his face. He needed to get to Rodimus again. Even if he wasn’t able to kill the Lost Light afterwards, killing its last crew member would be good enough.

His tiny meal finished, Starhawk returned to prowling within the ship’s walls. It would take time and patience for him to reach the room Rodimus was always being kept in. Being so concentrated on a task helped time pass by faster at least.

Once the area was determined to be clear, the sparkeater quietly crawled from the vent. He kept himself low to the floor, crawling on all fours like some kind of weird lizard with the concentration of a cat stalking its prey. He only stood up when he was close to the chair.

Hawk’s four tendrils circled around the captain, prongs ready to drill into his frame at any moment. As he dipped his hands under the prime’s chin to tilt his head back, he felt panic flutter in his chest like some kind of phantom spark. It made him hesitate.

“R…od…?” He breathed out, barely even a whisper. He hadn’t used his voice since he was killed, and he wasn’t sure how long ago that was.

Rodimus’ eyes reacted, actually focusing on his face. Hawk felt his phantom spark drop. He was still there after all?

Drool dripped from the exposed side of his jaw. A prime’s spark was practically in his hands, it was starting to drive the sparkeater side of him crazy. So close, but the fact that Rodimus had any sort of reaction, no matter how minute, made him stop and think. Maybe his captain could be saved! He could be brought back! Maybe Hawk could sneak away and (despite hating this mech with everything he had) find Slingarm to fix him up.

But the Lost Light would get in the way, and maybe even break him down further if he left. His wings nearly rattled with frustration and he wiped the saliva away from his teeth.

There was no easy answer for this and Starhawk, frankly, just wasn’t clever enough to save Rodimus. He grimaced at the wave of emotions that struck him. This wasn’t fair. They had plans! Goals! A future! And this stupid ship took everything!

Crouching down and still caressing the captain’s head, Starhawk pressed his forehead against the other’s. If nothing else, Rodimus was still his, and his alone.

The sharp prongs at the end of his tendrils started to spin as they aimed for the back of the prime’s head.

!!!

Footsteps! 

Panic overcame him, and his instincts told him to retreat. Without thinking, he let go of Rodimus and backed away, eyes widening at the horror of his own stupidity.

“I’ll… return,” he whispered as he retreated back into the vent he crawled from, “I’ll save you.”

‘One way or another, I’ll get you out of here. I promise you that.’

[ticklishfiend]

Man, I always feel awkward doing these, lol. Hello! I found your work recently and really love what I've read so far! As I notice your prompts are open at the moment, if you're up for it, I'd love to see a Shinsou/Deku fic. Platonic or romantic, I don't have a preference. I just love those two together so dang much. Keep up the great work! ^^

A/N : aaa omg ok i absolutely LOVE ur blog and all ur fics, tysm for sending in a prompt!! also, this is a little longer than originally intended and i wrote it in a night so hopefully it isn't too dogshit LMAOO and pls keep in mind that this is my very first time writing for shinsou, so im not 100% sure what im doing lol <33 anyways, i rlly hope you enjoy!!

Patterned Socks (My Hero Academia)

Ship : Lee!Midoriya / Ler!Shinsou 

Summary : Shinsou is nervous after inviting Izuku over to his room, as he only just realized his crush on the green-haired boy a few weeks prior. But when Izuku shows up in full All Might attire, Shinsou can't help but tease the boy to the point of new discoveries.

Word Count : 3494

REBLOGS ARE ALWAYS GREATLY APPRECIATED!! MWAH <33

. . .

Shinsou couldn’t help but feel a little...nervous. It wasn’t like he and Izuku had never hung out before, the freckled boy had invited Shinsou to hang out multiple times with his own group of friends, and it always made the usually kept-to-himself boy feel surprisingly loved and thought about. He’d even had a sleepover with Izuku and his friends before, and he couldn’t say it wasn’t fun for him, as he honestly had a great time, it was just...this was going to be his and Midoriya’s first time hanging out...alone.

Being alone with Izuku shouldn’t make him feel this nervous, this bubbly, this giddy. But it did. The boy with the mop of green mess on his head wasn’t even in Shinsou’s fucking room yet and somehow the teen with eye bags deeper than the ocean itself was more than wide awake with the nerves zooming through his system. He couldn’t help it though. Not after his realization weeks ago that, ‘oh shit, maybe I actually have a crush on this little nerd.’

So here Shinsou was, sitting cross-legged with a straight posture in the middle of his bed like a fucking lunatic, twiddling his thumbs and picking at his fingers like he was minutes away from taking the biggest exam of his life, when the only thing he had to currently expect was that timid, awkward kid from Class-1A to knock on his door and hang out with him for a few hours-

Knock! Knock!

“Hey, it’s Midoriya! I’m here, sorry if I’m late!” the muffled voice from behind the bedroom door was unmistakable, and somehow it made Shinsou’s heart stop for just a moment from nerves.

‘Fucking pull yourself together!’ Shinsou thought to himself as he slid off his bed, wiping his sweaty hands against the soft and linted fabric of his plaid pajama pants. ‘You’re acting like he’s here to murder you! You’re just a couple of friends hanging out, you’re making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be!’

“You’re fine, just one sec,” Shinsou spoke nonchalantly as he made his way towards the full length mirror propped up next to his closet. He hated that he actually cared enough to look at himself, to make sure he looked good, but not too good to have Izuku think he was trying to impress him or anything, even if he WAS trying to impress him, but just not-

“Okie dokie! Take your time!” Izuku giggled, and Shinsou swore all the sweat he had JUST wiped off his gross, clammy hands had just pooled right back to his palms at that adorable little sound. That stupid fucking giggle was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

With a sigh of frustration at himself, Shinsou finally made his way towards his door, giving himself one last peek at his mirror over his shoulder before whipping his head back around and opening the door as nonchalantly as someone could perform the action.

As the door swung open, Shinsou was greeted by the sweetest smile a person could probably ever muster, the boy in front of him lifting a bag up towards the boy’s face with a giggle.

“I brought gummy worms,” Midoriya chuckled shyly, scratching the back of his neck. Shinsou couldn’t help the small tinge of endearment his eyebrows gave before trying to go back to his stoic, edgy persona, giving the boy a small smirk.

“Of course you did,” he snickered, opening the door wider to let the boy inside. “Sit your stuff wherever, I don’t mind. Just put your shoes by the door,” Shinsou shut the door behind them once he saw that Izuku was fully inside, already sitting his stuff down by the bed.

“Oh sure, no problem,” Midoriya nodded towards Shinsou, making his way back towards the door as he carefully slipped his signature red sneakers off to sit by the doorframe. Shinsou finally sat back down on his own bed, but never stopped watching the boy go about his room. It was Midoriya’s first time visiting the boy’s room, and to Shinsou it just felt so...odd, seeing him actually in here, being able to look at everything he had up on his walls and the little messes scattered around his floor. He felt almost a little insecure.

It was a colder Saturday, and it seemed Midoriya had no other plans besides hanging out with the purple-headed teen, as Shinsou saw that he was sporting a worn-out hoodie with All Might’s face adorning the front that he’s probably had for God knows how long, and some oversized pajama pants that were decorated to look like All Might’s own hero suit. He was such a fucking fanboy, even when he was trying to be comfortable. It was...it was too fucking cute.

Once Izuku had finished the business with his shoes, he made his way over to Shinsou’s bed, joining the boy on the small mattress as he climbed on top. Shinsou was sat on the front of his bed, his back against his pillows, while Midoriya had chosen to sit at the end of the bed, his legs outstretched so his feet were just about a foot away from Shinsou’s own crossed legs. Midoriya looked at Shinsou with a smile.

“So...what’cha wanna do?” Midoriya asked, propping his body up with his arms behind his back, tilting his head to the side at his question. Shinsou sucked on his teeth in thought, letting out a small “Hmm…” before scanning Midoriya up and down subconsciously. His eyes made his way down to the boy's feet propped in front of him, his eyebrows quirking at the sight before a grin stretched across his face. His head was tilted downwards towards the boy’s feet as his eyes wandered back upwards towards Midoriya’s eyes, the smirk never leaving his face.

“Are you for real right now?” Shinsou asked playfully, his eyes glancing back down towards the boy’s socks before looking back up into Midoriya’s eyes, who looked a little confused. “You even wear All Might socks?!”

Midoriya’s eyes widened a bit at Shinsou’s realization, his hand slapping at his own mouth to cover the smile etching across his face from embarrassment. His cheeks were just faintly flushed, but it was enough to make Shinsou chuckle in endearment.

“I didn’t even realize!” Midoriya muffled behind the palm of his hand a giggle escaping that made Shinsou’s brain short circuit for just a second before coming back down to reality, shaking his head with a snicker of fondness. “I wear these all the time…”

“You are unbelievable, Midoriya,” Shinsou chuckled, before gently cupping the underside of Izuku’s heel and raising it up closer to his own face. Midoriya let out a small gasp, his leg jerking just slightly from surprise, but not so much for Shinsou to lose his grasp. Where Shinsou had gained the slight confidence to take such an action, the edgy teen had no clue. But Midoriya honestly seemed to be...liking the attention? The smile was evident, even behind the palm of his hand, and even though his eyes were wide and cautious, they looked daringly into Shinsou’s own, almost asking him to make a bolder move without needing to say a word. Though really, the smile was more than enough to agg Shinsou on even further. Who was he to deny this cutie the attention he so obviously wanted?

Shinsou’s grasp on Izuku’s heel tightened a bit, enough to make Midoriya stiffen, now both of his hands going up to cup at his mouth and keep himself quiet, almost like he was trying to keep himself from protesting. Shinsou gazed at Izuku’s cute, flushed face one more time before looking back down at the socked foot in his hand, taking note of the design on the sole. It was decorated in different cartoon All Might designs. One of his face, one of his signature catchphrase “I AM HERE!”, one of his full body hero suit, and one of just his trademark bunny-like hair. Shinsou grinned at this, deciding to make his own little game out of the designs.

“So you wear these socks a lot?” Shinsou asked with a teasing tilt of his head, looking back up to Midoriya without moving the boy’s foot an inch. Izuku raised one eyebrow in slight confusion before nodding his head. Shinsou hummed with a nod, his eyes wandering back down to the sock. “So if I were to poke at...this spot here…” Shinsou brought a finger up from his free hand to the sock, his nail just barely scratching at one of the cartoons on the sole of Izuku’s foot. Izuku jerked at the sensation, a small yip muffled by his hands still being heard by the purple-haired boy teasing him near to death, much to Shinsou’s amusement. “...could you tell me which design it was?”

Shinsou continued his gentle wiggling of one finger, but it was just enough to get Izuku tittering behind his hand, one eye squeezed shut as the other glared at the boy. Izuku gave him no response, however, only pulling at his leg slightly when Shinsou scratched over particularly sensitive areas that made him let out louder snickers than others. Shinsou playfully tisked with a shake of his head.

“Not gonna play my game, huh? I thought you wanted to do something fun, Midoriya,” Shinsou just sighed with a smile, a small evil glint shining in his eyes that gave Izuku goosebumps and made his own eyes widen in...fear? Giddiness? Excitement? “Fine. New game,” Shinsou grinned wickedly before snatching up both of Midoriya’s feet and locking them by their ankles in between one of his elbows. Midoriya let out a loud gasp of shock, before playfully tugging at his feet as if he wanted to escape. They both knew it was all just for show. “Try to stay quiet.”

Midoriya’s eyes widened before immediately slamming shut at the teasingly ticklish sensations that danced across his left socked foot. Shinsou scraped at the sole slowly, using only his first three fingers to do so, but good fucking God was it effective. Midoriya’s hands seemed to be glued to his mouth at this point, almost squeezing at his cheeks to try to keep quiet, though the muffled titters did not go unnoticed by the tickling teen before him.

“Aww, whatsa matter, Midoriya?” Shinsou teased with a small grin, his fingers edging their way upwards towards the bottoms of his toes, curling into the spot he knew to be sensitive on himself which only made Izuku shriek behind his hands. “Don’t tell me you’re ticklish~”

Izuku shook his head, though the way his body was practically vibrating under Shinsou spoke volumes. “Oh, you aren’t, huh? You’re not ticklish? Not even a teensie weensie bit?”

Izuku once again shook his head, the slow and gentle tickles provided by Shinsou giving Izuku just enough leeway to lie his way through this playful torment with only tiny titters and snickers. But the moment he felt his toes being pulled back by the side of Shinsou’s hands, both of his eyes shot open in excited fear.

“Well that just won’t do, now will it? I’m a pretty convincing guy, though, so maybe we can change that up a bit,” Shinsou grinned before scratching the nail of his thumb into Midoriya’s now stretched out toes, and Izuku couldn’t hold back anymore. The boy let out a stream of giggles behind one hand, his other now shooting down to clutch at his belly.

“AHAHA! Wahahait! Nohoho!” Izuku’s eyes squeezed shut, throwing himself back to lay flat on the bed, both of his hands moving up to cover his now terribly blushing face. Shinsou snickered, incredibly amused at the boy’s intense cuteness. “I’m sohohorreheheehe!”

“Aw, you’re sorry? For what?” Shinsou chuckled before raking all four of his fingers down the sole of Izuku’s socked foot, the boy letting out a yelp at the change before dissolving back into his adorable stream of giggles.

“I dohohon’t knohohohow!” Izuku shook his head, his feet just barely pulling at Shinou’s grasp out of pure bodily instinct. Shinsou just smiled fondly, chuckling a little in amusement. The purple-haired teen zeroed in on one particular spot right under the ball of Midoriya’s foot, the poor boy under him letting out a small shriek before arching his back at the sensation, shaking his head wildly.

“Ohoho, this a good spot, Midoriya? Right here?” Shinsou scratched at the sensitive area, Izuku cackling at the sensation before shooting his hands down to clutch at the front of his own hoodie, his knuckles almost turning white. “Aw, it is, isn’t it? You can’t take it here, huh?”

“AHAHAHA! PLEHEHEASE!” Midoriya cackled, pulling at his hoodie even harder, enough where Shinsou could even see the space of skin right under the boy’s pale neck. It was freckled there too, he noted, and...he couldn’t help but wonder if he was freckled anywhere else too.

“Please what? If you want me to stop just say so,” Shinsou tilted his head, observing very closely as he noticed Izuku’s face grow an even darker shade of tickled pink. He chuckled in delight as he heard no sounds of protest from the cackling boy underneath him. “Aw, that’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want me to stop?”

“DOHOHON’T DOHOHO THAHAHAT!” Izuku giggled wildly, pulling his hoodie up to cover his face and hopefully muffle those adorable laughs as much as he could, though of course he succeeded in only looking as cute as ever.

“Don’t do what?” Shinsou smirked, his fingers moving to his other foot to scratch at the same oh-so sensitive spot, now mirrored. Midoriya practically screamed into the fabric of his hoodie at the change in sensation, curling his body upwards instinctively before flopping himself back down onto the bed through his fit of cackles.

“TEHEHEASE MEHEHE!” Izuku cackled, pulling at his feet just enough to seem like he was fighting the playful torture, when really Shinsou saw right through him and all his All Might merch far too easily.

“Oh so you WANT me to tease you? You like being teased, Midoriya?” Shinsou snickered at the panicked giggles escaping through the fabric of Izuku’s hoodie, wiggling his fingers back into that oh so sensitive curve right underneath Izuku’s toes that made the boy scream in ticklish agony. “You’re so sensitive, y’know that? So ticklish even with your little All Might socks on. I wonder, though, will it tickle worse if you don't have All Might to protect you?” Shinsou smirked before slipping his fingers under the edge of Midoriya’s sock, the green-haired boy letting out a loud gasp before whipping his head out from the hiding spot in his hoodie.

“No! Dohohon’t!” Midoriya giggled as Shinsou teasingly edged the sock slowly up the boy’s foot, not having even tickled the bare foot yet but somehow still getting a rise out of him.

“I haven’t even started yet! Are you really so ticklish you’ll laugh when tickles are even threatened?” Shinsou grinned, testing his theory once he threw the sock over to the side by wiggling his fingers just above the boy’s bare foot where Midoriya could see from his angle. Sure enough, Midoriya absolutely dissolved into a puddle of giggles, his arms clutching at his tummy as he barely tugged at his trapped feet. Shinsou couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my god, I was kidding, I didn’t think it would actually be true!”

“Juhuhust do it alreadhehehe! Plehehehease! I can’t tahahake it!” Midoriya pleaded, his hands moving to cover up his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Shinsou. Shinsou felt his heart swell in adoration.

“You want me to tickle you that bad?~” Shinsou teased, slowly swiping one finger from the top of Izuku’s bare foot down to the heel, the boy gasping at the sensation, curling the foot up as much as it would go.

“Plehehease, I cahahahan’t!-” Izuku was a flustered mess under Shinsou, squirming and blushing into the oversized fabric of his hoodie, giggling like a child all the while. Shinsou finally gave in, scribbling his nails on the sole of his foot, pushing Midoriya to squeal before dissolving into panicked, high-pitched cackles. “GAHAHAHA! SHIHIHINSOHOHOU! AHAHA NAHAHAHA! PLEHEHEHEASE! I CAHAHAHAN’T!”

“It doesn’t even sound like you know what you really want anymore, huh?” Shinsou giggled, slowing his fingers down to small, teasing scratches on the boy’s soles, both socked and bare. Izuku was a puddle of snickers and giggles, barely pulling on his feet as he finally opened up his eyes as much as he could to gaze up at his tormentor. Shinsou looked down at him with a smile, finally stopping his tickling to rest Izuku’s feet in his crossed lap. Midoriya’s breathing was heavy, but the smile on his face seemed plastered on, and didn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. Shinsou tilted his head at the boy with a grin. “So...you liked that, didn’t you?”

Izuku whined, shoving his flushed face into his hands. “I mean...I don’t know…”

“It’s okay if you do...it’s uh…” Shinsou chuckled sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s kind of...cute, y’know?”

Midoriya peeked out from behind his hands to peer at Shinsou, before bringing his arms down to prop himself up and get a better look at the boy. “You thought it was...cute?”

“Well yeah, I mean...you were all giggly and stuff, and I uh, already kinda thought you were cute beforehand so that just kinda heightened the cuteness I guess,” Shinsou had a hard time making eye contact with Izuku, acting almost as if HE had been the one tickled to near tears just moments ago. He suddenly felt so shy, just like he had felt before Midoriya arrived. Where did all that previous confidence come from? And where did it go when he needed it the most? (now!) “Not to mention the fact you liked it in the first place. That’s just downright criminally adorable.”

“Quit it!” Midoriya whined with a giggle, though he left his feet in Shinsou’s lap, only kicking them out slightly during his fussing. He let out a huff of air, clearly embarrassed and very flustered. “I...I was nervous before I got here...thank you for that…”

Shinsou blinked. “Wait...you were nervous too?”

Midoriya looked up at Shinsou with a furrowed brow. “Yeah...wait, you were nervous?! Why?!”

Shinsou swallowed. He felt like some kind of nervous lump that had been growing and festering in his tummy this entire time was suddenly trying to crawl from his throat, choking him on his own words. His eyes were a bit wide, and suddenly his hands felt all clammy again like they had before Izuku arrived. “You just, uh...you make me nervous sometimes.”

“Do I do anything wrong?”

“No! No, of course not! It’s just...uh…” Shinsou huffed, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands until he saw fireworks, refusing to meet Midoriya’s gaze. “I kind of...like you…a little bit…”

There was a second of silence, Shinsou’s hands still covering his shy eyes as if to protect him from inevitable rejection. He felt the warmth of Midoriya’s feet slip from his lap, and at the same time felt his heart drop from it’s spot in his ribcage. He almost felt like he could cry...that is, until, he felt fingers start to poke and prod at both sides of his ribs, making him arch his back with wide eyes. Those eyes met Izuku’s own mischievous ones, a smirk growing on the green-headed boy’s still flushed face as accidental giggles started spilling from Shinsou’s lips, his body curling from left to right at each poke and prod.

“H-Hehehey! Whahahat?!-” Shinsou melted into giggles as Izuku started to pinch along his ribs, the boy falling onto his back against the pillows as Izuku straddled his waist fully, still relentless in his tickle attack.

“Stop looking so nervous and mopey, Shin,” Izuku smiled, leaning his head down to touch their foreheads together as he slowed his tickling down to his his hands resting comfortably on Shinsou’s sides. “I like you too.”

Shinsou blinked, never knowing he could blush so much until he realized just how close him and Midoriya’s faces were in that moment. They stared into each other’s eyes for seconds that felt like millenia until…

...until they kissed. And what a kiss it was. Filled with small giggles of pure joy and breathless huffs of air that made them forget they even needed oxygen in the first place. It was perfect and pure and everything Shinsou could’ve ever wanted. That night was filled with more kisses and more tickles than either of them had experienced in a lifetime, but it was worth it for each other. It was more than worth it. It was everything.

...

A/N : tysm for reading!! if u enjoyed pls consider reblogging, it helps spread my fics to more ppl who might enjoy!! thanks for the support, much love <33

[izzyovercoffee]

RepComm for the fandom meme

send me a fandom and I’ll — meme

softly, with a lot of feeling: I’ve been waiting for this moment.

lmaoo not really but yes, yes really. I am here and I am ready for this. 

Thank you for sending this B’)

Republic Commando

the character i least understand

Karen “What Is Abuse I Don’t Know Her″ Traviss

Ko Sai. I think, for the most part, she was written with very alien motivations, and it was fairly successful, at least in conveying that it was difficult if not impossible to relate with her on any level. 

I’m sure if I spent more time thinking and writing about her I could maybe attempt to understand her character … but for the most part I don’t really “get” her, and I think that’s the point.

interactions i enjoyed the most

Mereel and Ordo are endlessly entertaining. 

Any of the Nulls together, individually or clusters or all six in one room.

Mereel and Etain have had some very, very touching, emotionally deep moments — the kinds of scenes KT generally doesn’t allow any of her characters to have between two characters that aren’t romantically involved.

tbh this list is gonna be very long so to sum up: everyone with everyone else, when they’re allowed to be individual characters with separate personalities and motivations recognized, instead of twisted into very specific moral representations that KT pushes towards the end.

the character who scares me the most

Walon Vau is reasonably frightening, though really he should be. He is about as cold blooded of a killer as you’re going to get, and he doesn’t make threats, he makes promises. B’) 

Plus he’s also very difficult to get into the mental space to write, because he’s a legitimate Bad Person, and trying to write characters like him can be difficult.

it’s also a good idea to maintain a healthy fear of the nulls, if only out of respect of their potential for sudden and extreme violence. They’re not as “unpredictable” as the text says, though.

the character who is mostly like me

mmm … actually, I’m gonna go with Kal. this is probably gonna garner some “whaaat? but you HATE him?” 

Yes, I do hate him. but let me list some similarities lmao:

perpetual limp due to a bad ankle and persistent injury that never healed right / properly (partially kept as a constant reminder for a mistake)

short and angry, like all the time

compartmentalize everything and everyone

obsessive about caring for and protecting family, literally does everything for family

extremely secretive, to the point of never telling anyone the full story or full truth, everyone just get bits and pieces that seem complete. no one ever seems to realize this.

self sacrificing to the point of martyrdom, especially for family

these are all pretty negative, but … unlike Kal, I am actually self aware lmao and am working on these things, and have for the most part listened when other people criticize me so that I can continue to work on being better. it’s a daily process, you know, so I don’t hurt the family I care so much about.

Kal starts off terrible, and the writing implies that he might learn from it … but then instead of him learning and growing like everyone needs him to, the narrative instead makes excuses for him, everyone suffers, and Etain dies.

it’s unfortunate bc people like him exist, and you can’t coddle them if you want them to survive life. and yet everyone coddles Kal. Fandom, in general, coddles and makes excuses for abusive men. Full stop.

but like, here’s the thing:

He is a grown man. He is not a child. Don’t treat him like one.

I hate him partially bc the entire fandom excuses his behavior when it is, ultimately, inexcusable. He is not a child. He is a man, who has undertaken a huge group of extremely vulnerable people under his care, and he ultimately hurts them all. Severely. And TBH Kal deserves better than to be coddled and all his boo-boos kissed away by a fandom who says they care about the rest of the clan, but cannot see the sheer world-shattering damage Kal committed on them, regardless of intention. 

You can like a character, and still hold them accountable. Fandom, somehow, seems incapable of this level of nuance, especially if they’re a father and shown as sympathetic in any way.

hottest looks character

Mereel, obviously. lmao

No but like, consider: he dyes his hair (and his skin, and his eyes) and has a full wardrobe for all situations. 

He’s the (Daniel Craig) James Bond of the Grand Army of the Republic.

But I also headcanon Jilka and Besany to be incredibly fashion forward. Besany usually embodying the Career Professional woman, with very sharp, very perfectly tailored outfits that allow no room for nonsense.

Jilka also perfectly tailored, though her wardrobe is potentially more fun, visually, and incredibly flattering in all the right ways — but still very sharp, and very much professional when necessary.

one thing i dislike about my fave character

Mereel, light of my life, sun of my sky, salve of my wounded and broken heart, peace at the eye of my storm …

why are you like this?

lmao. On a more serious note, I can’t outright say I dislike anything about Mereel, but his inability to share what really goes on in his head with … well, anyone. The only time we see a truthful admittance to weakness is that single moment with Etain, when he admits that he’s still human. That he’s not perfect.

Every other time, and I know I say this a lot, but every other time … he deflects any serious conversation with a joke — and usually a joke that the speaker wants to hear (even if they don’t know they want to hear it). He doesn’t let anyone in, not even his brothers, and that’s … got to be a lonely sort of suffering. 

The kind of internalized suffering I’m sure he’s learned from Kal, both in the how to do it, and the reason he does it. bc Kal does internalize a lot of his suffering and doesn’t share it, burying weakness while in the same breath saying that he’s experiencing it and letting it go. He doesn’t, it’s just a different sort of self-delusion and deflection, and Mereel echoes it to a painful degree.

And then, of course, there’s Mereel learning that he needs to do it, bc Kal only accepts a certain kind of visual presence of mental illness and suffering, otherwise the person is “damaged” in some way and will never be “okay” for whatever understanding Kal has given okay. (view, for example, how he sees Ordo vs how he sees Mereel. He sees Mereel as stable, bc Mereel is extroverted, outgoing, and “always positive.” It’s not something intentional, but it’s still damaging, to all parties.)

one thing i like about my hated character

I might hate Kal Skirata, but I also love him. He’s a fantastic character. He is so so so flawed. His flaws make him interesting, and he tries. He tries so hard. He cares so much. He cares too much, even. His dedication and his love for his family are all encompassing, to the point that he can even be blinded to their faults because he loves so strongly.

But that love is a sword. One might even say it’s a triple-edged blade.

Love, as bright and fierce and consuming as it is, does not make someone right. It does not make their actions excusable when it leads to hurt, or even someone dying needlessly. It does not make one’s choices correct.

Love does not excuse abuse. And I really wish fandom would, at the very least, make the attempt to understand that.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Yes, I know how the Kaminoans did it. They used our genes against us, the ones that make us bond with our brothers, make us loyal, make us respect and obey our fathers—that’s what they manipulated to make us more likely to obey orders. They had to remove what made Jango a selfish loner, because that makes a bad infantry soldier, and you can tell from the Alpha ARCs that the Kaminoans weren’t wrong. But there’s one thing I don’t know yet—and that’s how they controlled the aging process. That’s the key. They robbed us of a full life span. But we will not be defeated by time, ner vod.

—ARC Trooper Lieutenant N-7—Mereel—in an encrypted transmission to Captain N-11, Ordo

a death that left me indifferent

mmm, Sev, actually. Like, in the game? I went through the whole grieving process after I finished Republic Commando. 

The way it was written? idk. It did nothing for me.

This probably is an unpopular opinion lmao but honestly, that scene? did not hit me anywhere. it just kinda left a bad taste in my mouth … much like Etain’s scene, except that I was actually pissed off about Etain lmao to the point that I still rant about it bc of how little sense it made.

a character i wish died but didn’t

I mean I could go the obvious route and say Kal, but I actually don’t wish Kal died. I just wish he’d learn from his mistakes and people would point out how he’s hurting his family lmao?

who do I actually wish died? any of the nulls, even if they don’t die die. They’re presented as these entirely Untouchable cast, to the point that no one really expect any of the Nulls to so much as get a paper cut — because how can they? they’re presented as close to perfect (obviously not in the mental illness department, but they do inhabit this space of being invincible).

and for any of them, even temporarily, to die would have had incredible emotional impact — moreso than Etain’s. It would’ve really brought home the threat on all their lives in a way that Etain’s death could never convey. 

but I’m asking nuance of a writer who clearly overwhelmed herself with a cast much larger than she could handle in writing, and who started all these incredible thematic arcs only to abandon them, forgotten, over the course of the series.

my ship that never sailed

I have a lot of ships, tbh, but it’s kinda like … weird? to talk about? as if I expected them to sail and then they just simply didn’t. 

I don’t have any ships that I expected to happen or be recognized and simply didn’t. I mean … Fi read as if closeted, so I was kind of hoping he would maybe realize he was attracted to men, but then of course he was paired off with his caretaker, and my god there are so many consent problems with that.