#I do need to get started on other writing but I often find collaborative writing this way such an engaging and fun way to write

[buckrogers]

WIPs word search

Tagged by the gorgeous @bromcommie!

I’m not sure if this is cheating or not but since a large part of my writing recently is stemming from RP, I decided to include a few of my personal favorite snippets as well as a bonus I just liked for how it came out after I had to wrestle with it for a while. These are from all kinds of interactions Steve has had and I’ve included with whom (two guesses who most are with).

Space (and also home w/Bucky):

Home but not quite home. Home looked at through a cracked mirror. Looking around, even as close as it gets in places, it isn't a hard push to see why it isn't the place Steve draws in that sketchbook of his. Why it's other places, warmer ones, that he prefers spending his time in. The apartment. Wakanda. He never had talked much about the way his body had its own memories for it. Being in the ice, being cold that way, down to his bones. Maybe because it had seemed such a touchy subject to begin with, maybe because it would have seemed like he was comparing somehow, what Bucky had endured all those years to his subconscious physical recall. For all his hesitations, about diving into bodies of water (he never had learned how to swim before the serum and it took time after to muster the courage to learn and overcome his first body’s hesitations), about confined spaces that felt a little too similar to the groaning fuselage of a plane as it sank, it hadn't come close to the things he'd read in those files, pressed into his hands by Natasha years ago. (you're going after him aren't you)

Sharp (w/Tony):

He'd had hope, when Tony hadn't fought him on staying behind to help with the clean up. Hope for what, he wasn't entirely sure, but there had been enough give in Stark's expression for Steve to recognize it as something. A step forward. The potential for some kind of meaningful conversation, when they weren't both in dire need of sleep and a hot shower. This, though, right here, wasn't a version of Tony ready to make any kind of peace. Judging from the brittle smile he was wearing, he was about as far from it as Steve had known him. Listing a little too heavily for comfort on the side that had forced him into bodily intervention to stop his pursuit of Bucky. Guilt curled inside him all over again. Steve's mouth pinched on one side. His jaw clenching beneath the beard he'd been sorely neglecting to shave for months now, long before he'd been recruited as an exile. "They aren't," he agrees, quiet. "I assigned myself." He was looking at Tony with the same face he used to make when they were trading verbal barbs on the helicarrier, eyes sharp. Brow furrowed. Concerned, despite everything, with the way his eyes dragged up and down his body, mentally cataloging any sign of obvious distress in the other man.

Sweet (w/Bucky):

Getting to set his hands gently on Bucky's hips, to use this new body of his, for something tender and sweet and the right side of aggressive. The good kind of pent up and wanting. There were so many landmines buried in their bodies, trigger words and old memories and the ghosts of other lovers that navigating the terrain was an act of belief, itself, the trust to be put somewhere, on a bed, against a wall, rolled over and on top of - it was knowing where that line was.

Home (w/Bucky):

It was all Steve wanted for the longest time. That idea of - that memory of - two sets of dishes in the sink. A life that rose and fell; that breathed to the rhythm the two of them set. It was what he'd longed for, once, to be impossibly closer; to somehow climb inside Bucky's chest and find his home there; snug against his heart. Cradled by the cage of his ribs. Safety had always been that muscle, beating steadily against his knobby spine at night; had been those arms curled around him. The funny part was - the funniest thing still was - that dream hadn't changed much, for the ways they had. Gotten bigger, grown older. Sometimes he'd look at Steve, part his lips and flash his teeth just like he was now and it was all he could do to breathe properly. He very nearly forgot how the way he would back then, stutter on a breath and erupt into a coughing fit, turn a watery eye on him accusingly as if somehow it was all his fault, the fact Steve's body had never quite worked right. That dream of having something real, that belonged only to the two of them that the rest of the world didn't get to touch - yeah, it was still there. It still kept time somewhere in his chest. His old, creaking heart still remembered how that beat went.

+ Bonus

Burden (w/Peggy):

He's been in rooms hushed by death, before. None of this is new, none of it should feel any different to the times that have come before it, the steps he's climbed; the doors he's walked through, the glass he's stood on one side of and stared past his own grim reflection into, to bodies, covered in sheets. It's been a hospital, it's been laid out on a stretcher, it's been suspended above a city. Steve Rogers isn't any stranger to loss, he's known it. Fought it, battled with it, inside a tenement in Brooklyn; for himself. For his mother. Even, once, not so long ago, for the woman in this room. The version he'd known the longest, who gave him comfort when by rights she should have kept her strength for herself; should have been beyond reaching for his hand; squeezing his fingers and hoarsely, gently, chastising him for keeping things to himself. (not every burden is yours to carry alone, my darling) The way he misses her is profound; longing seeped in acceptance. It's an old wound, one that's long since healed but still easily knocked, bruised; pressed on hard enough til it reinstates itself. It still flares like a struck match, when he stands in that doorway for a long moment before announcing himself. His hands empty of anything that seems remotely useful in a moment like this.

I'm not sure who hasn't done this one or would be interested, so if you're intrigued, here are some prompt words and go forth and write, my loves: ache, lost, belief, taste.

[randomfandomworks]

Huntrix (Separately) x Famous!Reader

Synopsis: Headcanons involving the Huntrix girls falling for you and what kind of fame you possess

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this! I’m still working on general dating Headcanons for these three but I might end up doing more with this concept because I really ended up enjoying it.

Rumi with another Idol

★ You and Rumi had met on several instances though most were because of award shows

★ Often times you and Huntrix would perform at the same venues it was only reasonable that after some time you’d get to know one another

★ You became friends quickly, bonding over shared experiences and tribulations

★ At some point you become a feature on one of Huntrix’s new songs

★ A collaboration that the fans end up absolutely loving which only leads to more moments together

★ Joining them at interviews and shows as the song runs its course of popularity

★ You and Rumi naturally became closer over time, meeting up for things unrelated to your careers until eventually you both started to fall for each other

★ For a while you both tiptoed around the feelings

★ You knew how your fans were, how they’d react knowing two of the most popular idols were together

★ But one night you corner Rumi after one of her shows and everything comes crumbling down

★ After that you start dating in secret

★ It becomes a careful song and dance; avoiding topics that may lead to exposure of your relationships but still risking it to see one another perform

★ You help one another when it comes to singing, finding the right transitions for sets, making sure the notes get hit right and the lyrics are clear

★ And after you’re done being idols for the day you relax into one another allowing it to become simply you and her, nothing more or less

★ Rumi only falls for you harder when she sees that side of you, the comfortable side you keep away from everyone else

★ After a while the fans get suspicious

★ Rumors and theories spread like wildfire over both of your fanbases

★ Catching onto the quick looks you give one another or how you’re always attending each other’s shows

★ You let them have their fun

★ Watching as people make countless posts about the evidence they can find and what they think is happening behind the scenes

★ And when it’s gone on long enough you make it official

★ Which causes social media to absolutely blow up with responses some saying they called it, others believing it to be a trick, a few completely against it

★ Yet neither of you cared

★ You didn’t need people online to tell you who to care about or date, you had one another and honestly the truth was better than any speculation online

Mira with a Model

★ Mira learns about you through Bobby, who’d been trying to find some bigger names to promote the new Huntrix merchandise

★ He reached out to your agency leading to a deal where you and some other top models would do a shoot for them if in turn they got to meet the members of Huntrix

★ And that was that

★ She’d spotted you as soon as they entered the venue

★ You carried yourself differently

★ Some of the models were nervous, others in over their head, or bored out of their minds

★ But not you

★ You had a smile on your face as a new intern directed you, showing you around and what you’d be modeling

★ You didn’t question the photographer even with the strangest of requests

★ And you helped Bobby when no one else listened

★ You were just, different

★ Even when meeting them you didn’t freak out

★ Didn’t scramble for an autograph or a photo

★ You waited patiently for your colleagues chaos to end

★ Introduced yourself with a smile and thanked them for the opportunity

★ That moment made a place in Mira’s mind, one she thought back to even weeks after the interaction

★ Up until she messages you herself, reaching out to just talk to you

★ And even online you were kind, patient, and polite

★ And Mira didn’t know what to do with the fact that she started falling for it, falling for you

★ She invited you to one of their shows, a backstage ticket, per Zoey and Rumi’s advice

★ She couldn’t help the warmth that overtook her when she saw you

★ You lit up when you came face to face

★ Smiling and congratulating her on a show well done

★ And something about it all changed for Mira; she asks you out soon afterwards wanting, needing, to see you again

★ It doesn’t take long before you start dating

★ No one knew besides a select few

★ Many suspected, especially after Mira made an appearance for your agency, but Mira had made a name of standing up for herself and not tolerating rumors so no one questioned it

★ And behind it all, back stage or behind the camera there was just you two

★ And that’s all you needed

Zoey with an Actor

★ You and Zoey knew of one another long before meeting

★ You were a star in one of her favorite K-dramas and you obviously loved Huntrix’s songs

★ The two of you finally get the chance to meet one another when the director of your show begs Huntrix to write a song for the upcoming season

★ They agree, mostly because Zoey would’ve probably lost it if they didn’t, and are invited to the premiere because of it

★ Your first interaction comes up because of a photo

★ Several reporters wanted a picture of you and your co-star with Huntrix

★ Which led to you all posing together and eventually talking after the press has had their fun

★ You and Zoey hit it off almost instantly, the two of you silently freaking out over meeting the other

★ You end up sitting together, talking after the screening and through most of the night, laughing together as though you hadn’t just met

★ And when your managers finally drag you away from one another you still keep in touch

★ Messaging online and meeting at more events over time

★ Neither of you is shocked when you start to fall for the other

★ The admiration existed long before you met

★ Though something more had found its way through

★ Maybe it was always responding to one another, no matter how late, or the smiles across the room at events

★ Whatever it was it wasn’t a surprise

★ The real shock came from the admission

★ Realizing you’d both been running circles around one another to not ruin anything when in truth it was exactly what you’d both been needing

★ It isn’t long afterwards that everyone knows

★ You never say anything but you openly post each other and willingly mention one another in interviews

★ Not to mention you frequenting all of Huntrix’s performances and her sudden guest appearances in your shows

★ Though whether or not the fans know has never concerned you

★ In fact most of your concerns recently are of Huntrix’s latest song releases and the date you’re planning with Zoey to go see your new movie

[imagobin]

🐲Grandpa Zeno HCs🐲

Because Zeno is unironically one of my favorite HxH characters, idk why, this grandpa's vibes are immaculate. So I tried imagining how it'd be like to be his grandkid! Don't judge me fhgjkd I know I got requests to work on but I need to write some sillies for me as well çwç

A new Zoldyck is born:

Zeno prides himself on being a cold blooded assassin, laser focused on his job, but old age has definitely mellowed him out a little when it comes to his daily life.

He's definitely a lot less strict with his grandkids than he was with his own son, just like any old man. Though he has a tendency to play favorites even among his beloved family.

The day you were born, he took one look at you and knew from that moment that you were definitely going to be one of his favorites. Just that peculiar glint in your eyes was enough to activate his caring grandpa side.

Even Silva and Kikyo were surprised at how his personality seemed to flip every time he got to hold you as a baby... it was an odd, but sort of sweet sight to see Zeno behave like an actual grandpa, bouncing you on his knees or telling you stories from his younger days.

Of course, that's not all he ever did. He's a Zoldyck, and his idea of 'fun with his grandchild' went on to include flying on a dragon's back, teaching you what each torture tool does, and showing you where human weak points are. Even when you were a toddler, he was already thinking of useful things you had to know in order to grow up and be a fine Zoldyck.

Once you were old enough to start going on missions, he'd also reward you for your success, way more than your parents ever did. He'd call you to him, and would sneakily place a piece of candy and a couple bills in your hand and gently close your fist, telling you to buy whatever you wanted with that.

In your free time:

Nowadays, grandpa Zeno is a bit more focused on Killua, but you're still his second favorite at least. Naturally, because of your strength, but also because you actually listen to him and not just dismiss him like the other family members do.

You're often busy going on missions, on your own or with your siblings, but whenever you're actually home, he often asks you to get tea with him.

He has a tendency to start rambling about the "good ol' days", talking about his most iconic missions and showing you pictures of past family members.

He may still be a sharp assassin, but his memory isn't as sharp as it used to be, so sometimes he might tell you an anecdote he's already told you. If you bring it up he'll get a little embarrassed and apologize. "Ah... did I tell you already? My bad, my bad"

He tries not to let it get to him, and he definitely wouldn't tell you, but he genuinely hopes that doesn't annoy you, because it's rare to have someone who seems to genuinely enjoy listening to him.

He doesn't go out of the house too much, but when he does, sometimes he asks you to accompany him, not for any reason in particular, he just wants some company while he's out and about, and he finds the butlers quite boring.

Collaborative effort:

Grandpa Zeno doesn't take on many missions unless they're of the utmost difficulty, and he usually teams up with his son, Silva, since they're the two most experienced Zoldycks.

But he's not beyond making an exception. He recognizes your abilities as phenomenal, and compared to some of your other siblings, you're also a great team player, quick to react and synchronize with anyone you're working with. So there have been some rare times, where he's asked you to come on a mission with him.

Seeing your grandfather fight, really makes you understand why he's so feared. Despite his age and smaller build, you would NEVER want to find yourself against him. He attacks with precision and no hesitation whatsoever, like a true veteran.

If there's one frustrating thing about him, is that he's stubborn. He always wants to be the one who gets to do most of the fighting, while you're stuck on support duty.

At first, you believed it was because he didn't trust you to be strong enough, but as it turns out, it's because he enjoys fighting that much. It's not even about the kill, he gets no satisfaction from killing, he's just always looking for a good fight.

He's an old, powerful man, you figure there's not many people in the world who can surpass his strength... he's always looking for a worthy opponent.

The few times he's taken you on a mission with him, it's always been very nostalgic, because after you succeed, he always insists on going to nearby cafes, as if nothing happened, and even though by now you have your own money, he still has that old habit of putting a couple bills in your hand, to go and order whatever you want at the counter.

[angofwords]

How many works do you have on AO3? 44 on AO3. I have some older stuff on ff.net and other places, but I've never brought them over.

What's your total AO3 word count? 574,585

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

A Farewell to Arms: Banana Fish - My one and only fix-it fic, where Ash finds a way to cheat death, but nothing goes quite the way he planned. (2,861 kudos)

In the Closet: Banana Fish - A sexy little first-time romp in the darkroom that Eiji set up in the fancy apartment. (1,474 kudos)

Wishful Thinking: Banana Fish - A misunderstanding causes Ash to reveal far too much about what he's willing to give Eiji. (1,010 kudos)

Bound to You: Lord of the Rings - Wherein Legolas and Gimli go from enemies to lovers to soulmates. (930 kudos)

The Landscape Was the Same on Both Sides: Banana Fish - Ash is upset because Eiji seems to be avoiding his touch. Then he finds out why. (876 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love comments. I haven't always responded to all of them--there were periods when my kid was little, especially, when my actions didn't meet my intentions, but nowadays I respond to all of them. I consider fanfiction as my way of engaging with the fandom, with the people who love the same stuff I love, so when someone reaches out to me, that's my best opportunity to connect. I've made a lot of friends in the comments of fanfics. <3

Do you write crossovers?

Not really. I don't read them, either.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, but not often. I love a good romance and even a bit of a build up of tension and kissing and touching, but more often than not, I leave the real smut to the imagination. A notable exception is:

I Get By (With a Little Help From My Friends): Lord of the Rings - Legolas and Gimli seduce Aragorn as a way to distract him from his troubles. (This is the fic I hope my LOTR-loving mom NEVER finds!)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I'd like to think that someone would let me know if that happened.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a lot of people ask/offer to translate them, but a handful have really been done. I'm super grateful that these lovely people did the work:

Прощай, оружие: a Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mafuyu) of A Farewell to Arms

Stars: a Russian translation (by rootofallevil) of Stars

In the Closet: a Mandarin translation (by Voltsliart) of In the Closet

Последняя ошибка: A Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mayfuyu) of His Last Mistake

Комета Эша: A Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mayfuyu) of Ash's Comet

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I started out in fanfiction by collaborating with my sister on Little Women fanfics that never saw the light of day, and yes, we've also collaborated on a few other stories, too. Namely, a series of Legolas/Gimli fics that are all in the same universe:

The Second Breakfast Club: Lord of the Rings - A high school AU where the fellowship come together in a series of Saturday detention sessions. Co-written by lisafer

Closer: Lord of the Rings - Legolas and Gimli explore their brand new relationship in a way fairly typical of teenagers. Co-written by lisafer

St. Aule's Fire: Lord of the Rings - When Legolas and Gimli move in together, they quickly realize that love isn't enough to keep a relationship strong. Co-written by lisafer

What's your all time favorite ship?

My husband jokes that AshEiji is the primary relationship in my life. I've shipped those two for over 20 years and I don't see any other ship coming anywhere close, honestly.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will?

I started a novel about Eowyn from Lord of the Rings. I really want to finish it, but I need to learn how to write in a way that works. Right now it's okay, but I need it to sing. The first few chapters are on AO3:

Untouched: Lord of the Rings - the events of the War of the Ring from the point of view of Eowyn of Rohan.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at characterization, dialogue, and conveying emotions. I think I'm good with word choice and adding rhythm to my prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm slow. Part of it is that I'm meticulous--I've never learned to draft, so I can't move on from a sentence or a scene until it feels exactly the way I want it to. That has derailed many, many fics over the years. Also, I'm not great with strong endings. I'm working to improve that.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to?

I have SuperBat in my head and heart, but I'm far too scared to write it. I don't know if I can do that ship justice.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

This is a difficult question, because I tend to love the stuff I've written most recently. But I really like these:

Just Say Yes: Banana Fish - This is an extreme canon-divergence, where Eiji doesn't get to New York until five years after the events of Banana Fish. He's an Olympic medalist in a bit of an identity crisis and ends up in fake marriage to Ash Lynx to get a green card.

Dear Boss (A Confession): Banana Fish - Ash gets a letter from Alex, his second in command, who feels obligated to confess a secret that might get him killed.

The Undying: Lord of the Rings - Gimli helps Legolas finally build the boat that takes him far from Middle Earth.

Triptych: Banana Fish - My one and only exploration of Shorter/Ash/Eiji

Shades of Light: Gundam Wing - Quatre and Heero deal with their shared grief after Trowa is killed on a mission. (This is VERY old and I've outgrown the writing style, but I still love it!)

I tag @localvampirebitch @gioia-writes-and-others @lisafer @roselightfairy

[crowsintheforest]

it's been a few weeks, by the time I post this, since I finished wind and truth. mostly I wanted to write out my thoughts as best I can, think on it some more, because for the first 48h after I finished I mostly was just laying around like

this got out of control so putting my thoughts behind a cut. tl;dr, book good, I have lots of thoughts, can't wait for 2031 or whenever we get book 6 (and also the next mistborn trilogy, ghostblood trilogy, my guy)

overall, I really liked it! sanderson makes very breezy high fantasy books: characters who are easy to love, big world-shaking plots with strong small-scale interpersonal stuff, themes of love despite the horrors, and some of the most fascinating magic systems around. we got to see a bunch of that last one all tossed together, with all the world hopping going on.

it's been really neat seeing sanderson improve as a writer. while I don't think this is necessarily my favorite sanderson book (or my favorite stormlight, for that matter), WaT shows off how much he's grown as a writer and a storyteller. using 1400 pages to maximally show 10 days of story, across multiple perspectives, nations, and worlds, gives him a lot of room to expand to a breaking point, and he manages to hold it all together, even weaving themes of the power of collaboration and interpersonal responsibility, the false promise of acceptance without responsibility, the value of redemption through choosing over and over again to change, and how kaladin stormblessed is able to be exactly where he's needed at just the right time.

(extremely minor nitpick, but I do wish he'd lay off of using literally so often)

the plot was fine, and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to keep track, even with fifteen billion things going on (if you're reading this far, you probably know what this book is about, but here's my best shot: over the course of 10 days before the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny of dalinar v odium, dalinar and navani try to figure out why Honor died and end up with the worst babysitting gig; shallan tries to do a stabby and gets sucked into said history along with rlain and renarin, who are just figuring themselves out a bit; kaladin and szeth go on a murder road trip to szeth's home of shinovar; adolin tries his best to keep azir from falling to odium's forces; and venli desperately tries to find a home for her people and herself).

that was long. so I think the easiest way for me to do this is go character by character. so let's start.

I wrote so much I'm sorry

kaladin stormblessed: my emotional support bridgeboy going out there emotionally supporting the most mentally unwell people in this book. his dance with syl was a bright spot (even as szeth got kidnapped for murdering), and he's grown so much. I called him taking the herald position pretty much from the moment it opened for szeth, but that didn't make the journey he's on any less glorious. he's finally going to get a fucking break and hopefully help himself and the others heal. herald of second chances indeed.

also kudos to kal for getting tf out of the line of succession dalinar tried to en-dad him with by fucking off to a completely separate planet. maximum avoidance of lighteyed-ness through maximum acceptance of responsibility. I love him so much.

shallan davar: comparatively, not quite the depth I would have liked for shallan? but like kaladin, a lot of her emotional growth and development was in oathbringer/RoW, so getting to see her cut loose and accept herself, and use that acceptance for maximum output/knife was great. she and kelsier are going to fuck each other up and I am going to giggle with glee.

adolin kholin: I loved adolin before this book, I loved adolin during this book, and I will love adolin forever. his journey in this book is an interesting parallel to dalinar's and kaladin's, accepting his relative lack of supernatural power but also embracing his role as a leader and a helper. he helped maya! he helped his armor spren! he helped yanagawn!!! he used a candelabra in a duel!!!!! finally, he made the leap about oaths v promises before dalinar did, which strikes me as very adolin and also deeply sad because dalinar's dead and adolin never got to tell his dad about his realizations.

quick ot3 aside: I'm not okay that it's kaladin's gifts to shallan (boots to ground her) and adolin (a sword to support him) that got them both through their wedding. I'm not okay that kaladin is the first person they think about to improve themselves, after their spouse. I'm not okay that kaladin thinks of them as inspiration, and hope, and the drink with friends he's never going to get because his body's fuckin buried in shinovar and no one knows he helped to reforge the oathpact. I'm not okay about any of this.

dalinar kholin: so that oaths v promises thing? that dalinar has to accept because, as navani told him halfway through, he's gotta listen before he jumps, even when they're in agreement? yeah. breaking his oath to force a cosmere-level intervention, and make the other shards deal with odium. trading his life, his soul, his freedom, and his legacy, so that others might survive. and he dies protecting his grand-nephew. one of my favorite war criminals in fiction. I'll miss him very much.

szeth-son-neturo: did not expect him to give up his oaths in his apotheosis. in retrospect, very well foreshadowed, and I love that it is a decision that he took into himself, with hope for a future he never thought he deserved. his pokemon trainer journey through shinovar had some great fights in it, but idk, for all that he was the flashback character this time around, I don't feel like I learned anything new about him. maybe this is the end of his story, and I'm okay with that. hey sando can we meet his wife in the next books, she seems cool (and helped him bury kaladin's body for their first interaction, that's wild).

navani kholin: needed more of her. not sure how, and what we got was good, but...agh. I think she suffers the most from the condensed timescale post-RoW.

gavinor kholin: lol sanderson pulled an angel-and-conner on us. I had to put the book down for this one, I was giggling so hard for the wrong reasons. goofy ass twist my guy. based on a rugpull of navani losing the kid that I didn't entirely accept. can't wait for adolin to run into him in the future

sigzil: reading this book after reading the sunlit man was an exercise in emotional devastation and I will never get over sigzil finding himself, finally, and then willingly giving it up to save his spren and his comrades. fuck moash, seriously.

lift and vasher: what a duo. good luck with this one, vasher, you're going to train up a terror. you deserve it, after, what, Mad Sciencing your way to anti-light? for someone so smart, you're a dumbass.

hey btw where is vivenna, can't wait for that reunion (aka vivenna trying to gut vasher, which he deserves, what the fuck were you doing with gavilar my dude)

renarin kholin and rlain: much like navani, I feel like they kind of got the short shrift, although theirs feels less bad I think? navani felt like her continuation got cut short, but renarin and rlain both feel like their story is just beginning. which is probably the point? anyways, I like them both very much, more please. gay love saved the planet.

venli: really liked where we ended up with venli, who not only came to terms somewhat with her past devastation against her own people, but made the call to reach out to her enemies in order to forge peace. something about renarin and rlain's decision for a chance for the future via freedom of the imprisoned over continued oppression in the name of stability; paralleling venli and the singers' choice to reach out to jasnah, their oppressors and enemies, to mark their own space and nation? it's so good. I'm probably the most excited about this particular plot/nation-building moving forward.

thaidakar: kelsier what the fuck are you doing and why did you inquisitor one of your eyes, you know what happened to your brother (oh no now I'm sad about mistborn series 1 again)

jasnah kholin: you know what I realized, writing all this up, that led to jasnah's downfall? she hasn't really changed this whole series so far. journey before destination, you know? unlike pretty much everyone else, she thought she'd already finished her journey. she's the fourth ideal pretty much before the series even starts (maybe? I might be wrong), she's the smartest person in the world, she's taken steps to fill what she thinks is her weakness (strength on the front lines). but she never acknowledged that she could be fatally flawed, that she made terrible mistakes in what she thought was good, and never reconsidered her position as potentially hypocritical. I know we're getting jasnah flashbacks late in the series, so I'm excited to see where she goes in the future, but boy her shit got rocked by fen and odium.

hoid: lol. lololol. looooooooool.

[frodopotter7]

The memories of Edwin Payne

(Or an interactive fanfiction)

Note: I had the headcanon that Edwin‘s notebook contains all his personal writing including the writings from his life as an Edwardian boy. So I wrote those entries in his notebook. Now this book is obviously all of Edwin‘s personal thoughts and I thought it would be fun to do a collaboration. So if you are a writer yourself or creative in any other way, feel free to use this entries as a starting point for another fanfiction. For example Charles finding the notebook and reading it or Crystal reading it or anything else. The only rule that I set is that you clearly mark my text and tag me, because first of all it was a lot of effort to write it and secondly I want to see what cool things you came up with. And if you don’t want to creatively interact with this fanfiction, then you can obviously just enjoy it by reading it.

Summary: Edwin Payne‘s most treasured item is his notebook, because it contains so much private information that no one else knows about him. Not even Charles. Including the struggles of a posh, gay, autistic Edwardian boy and his times before hell, in hell and shortly after hell.

Triggers: bullying, implied suicide, dolls

Shipping: Payneland, but you could also include other shipping in your part

The song that I thought of while writing:

One of Edwin’s most treasured objects was definitely his notebook. He had it all the time and he used it for every case they had. It meant a lot to him, since it was with him when he died. It was with him in hell and it was with him in his detective career. The reason why he never gave it to anyone, not even Charles, was that it had been with him even as a child. Well, back then he had several notebooks, but as he died every personal writing of his got transferred into it. The notebook always had enough pages and was still not getting thicker and his pen was always full of ink. And still even though it contained so many different notes, Edwin navigated through it without any problems. It was his own writing after all. His family sigil was carved into the black front cover and the word ‘Payne’ was written underneath it.

If anyone would open it and tried to start from the beginning, he would be greeted with Edwin’s signature under the printed words. ‘Family member:’ After that the handwriting would be harder to read. Scribbly, crossed out spelling mistakes and spilled ink from a little boy, who was writing for the first time. If you manage to identify the words it would read:

1905

Greetings,

my name is Edwin Payne. I am the only child of the family Payne. My father says, that mother wanted more children, but just failed every other time. You probably have heard about my family’s name. The family with the best lawyers of England. When I’m grown up, I will be a lawyer too. Lawyers are like detectives says my father. I like that. I like detectives.

My nanny told me to interact more with others. Why would I need to talk if there is no one to talk to anyways? My parents are often absent and my nanny is just not understanding me. My father says that I am too slow for my age. My motion skills too clumsy. My spoken words only contain information from detective books and I cannot properly respond to people yet. I know a lot of novels by heart though. Others just don’t seem to like talking about crimes as much as I do. Father sometimes lets me have a look in his older cases. They are interesting.

We visited a doctor again today, because of my slow development. We visit him quite often. Actually since I can remember. I don’t feel sick. He says there is nothing wrong with me. Still I know that something is wrong. I overreacted at loud noises. A lot of things stress me out.

1906

I haven’t writing about Cordelia Primrose Surname-von-Hovercraft. She is annoying, loud and a restless soul. She runs around the house and breaks rules just to get the attention. She is a bit younger than me, but that doesn’t justify her actions. I don’t like her. Although sometimes she be helpful. Like the time she stole the biscuit jar and gave me one of the special biscuits. They had to expel one of her nannies for this. But Cordelia had plenty nannies anyways. No one stays long with her. I had my nanny since I was born. I don’t like changes. Cordelia sometimes scares me with ghost stories. She says she would see them and that my fortune says that I will die a painful and early death. I don’t believe in this unscientific nonsense.

I take piano lessons now. It’s is fun. My mother seems to enjoy it. It is somehow the only way to get her attention for me.

Additionally to my regular private lessons I go to school now. Simon obviously needs to be in my class as well. I don’t like him. He bores me and he is too clingy. And sometimes he says mean things to me.

I had an outburst in class. Everything was just so loud and I was frustrated. The teacher hit my finger with the ruler and send me in the naughty corner. I don’t see why I get punished, when the other boys are clearly the distraction. Overall I am a good student. So it will probably not affect my grades.

My favorite subject is Latin and literature. I love books and translating old languages. It is like solving a code or a riddle. I don’t like maths, since it is all just numbers and no words.

1907

I had another outburst in class after Simon tried to touch me. He kept tapping my arm and I don’t like that. The teacher called a nurse, but I was too overwhelmed to respond to any of her questions to my health. I wanted to go home and I told her that again and again, but she didn’t understand. They called a priest. He said something in Latin. I think, it must have been biblical words. I tried to focus on translating them, but there was so much panic around me that I barely focused on anything. But I managed to calm myself after what felt like hours due to exhaustion.

My parents had a talk with the priest. He says that I am possessed by a demon. So now he straps me to a table and mumbled something in Latin again and again once a month or whatever I have an outburst. The robes around my wrist hurt. I am afraid. It is scary to know that there is something inside of me.

1908

I hate being possessed. Although I start to doubt that I have been in the first place. I did some research in the library and the real demonology books aren’t describing my symptoms. Even Cordelia, who usually always tells spooky stories, agrees with me. She said, if I was possessed she would have been the first one to know. She is a mystery to me.

1909

Today I saw a nice looking man across the street. I told my nanny that he looks like a basket full of oranges. My father uses that term a lot when he talks about young women, so I thought it is just a term to use if you think someone looks nice. She gasped and hit me lightly with the newspaper. It didn’t hurt but I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong. She told me that a man cannot say that to another man. I guess the saying is reserved for women then.

1910

I started to mask my uncomfortable feelings in public. It is difficult, but it helps. My parents and the priest both think that I am healed.

1911

I got called a Mary Ann for the first time. I asked my nanny and she started to mumble to herself how she must have failed. I told her that she did a really great job, since I would consider myself very well behaved and educated. She ignored me and told me to not tell my parents. How should I tell them if they are never there in the first place?

I did some research again, which mainly was asking Simon. I know, getting down on his level is a hard sacrifice. He told me that a Mary Ann is a boy who behaves like a girl and isn’t manly enough so they love other men. I thought about that for a long time. What is it about me that makes me a Mary Ann?

The writing in the book started to get better and appeared way more elegant. You could find little drawings here and there. Edwin was quite a good and realistic artist. Drawings of flowers, buildings, his nanny, his mother or Sherlock Holmes.

1912

Mother is constantly coughing loudly. It is irritating. Not even cocaine will help. They don’t let me in her room. They fear I would catch it too. Not that I was ever close to her before.

Mother is in a special hospital now. She took the train far away in a hospital in the mountains. No one ever returns from there. I know it. Everyone does. I will not see her again.

Mother died of tuberculosis. I miss her, I guess. I don’t know what I miss. It is a change. I hate changes.

1913

Father is sending me to a boarding school for boys. He says it’s for my education. I know, he just wants to get ride of me.

I hate the new school. Simon is here and people are still calling me a Mary Ann. Simon started to join them. I guess he sees it as a new opportunity to mock me.

I take fencing lessons now. It is nice, since it is not required any sort of touch with other boys. Nothing that I can be blamed for.

1914

I found a hideout in the school attic. It is a great place to read in peace.

The world has started a war. It worries me. They tell us that we are save in the school. But in the end all you can do is pray.

I came back home on Christmas. My nanny was gone. Father said they would be no need for her any longer, since I am in school now anyway. He looked like he knew something, but wasn’t going to tell me.

1915

The next page had some blood drops on its pages.

I want to go home. I want to be back in my room with my detective books. I want to be healed from this darkness inside of me. My nose is bleeding from another attack by the other boys. They started to get more violent now. Simon isn’t joining them, but he watches.

I came home on Christmas, but it wasn’t my home anymore. Just a house. My father didn’t speak a word. I asked him, if it was about the war and he looked up towards me. I could feel his cold gaze from across the table. He took out a letter and slammed it on the table. It was from my headteacher. I was confused. I am class best and the best behaved student in class? The only reason why I get to stand in the naughty corner is if I got caught reading in my comics or books. In my defense I am usually already finished with the exercises if I read in class. What could possibly be a problem with me? The letter was about the other boys calling me Mary Ann. And that they didn’t wanted a boy like that in their school. That I should stop whatever was wrong with me. My father told me in his absent voice, that he was not having a son like that either. He had exchanged letters with the headmaster for quite some time now and I didn’t seem to get better. I asked him that I had no idea. He interrupted me as always. Told me that the only way to make me a man would be to send me to war. I started to cry and he continued holding a speech about heroism and that his generation had understood this so much better than mine. I am too young for war, he knows that too. He told me that the only thing rescuing my life is my good grades. He sees potential in me as a lawyer. He has talked to the Surnames-von-Hovercrafts they agreed that I should marry their daughter as soon as possible. I mean I knew that I would be married to Cordelia one day, but not already when I turn 16. That’s only some months away.

As the train brought me back to the boarding school and as I saw my father standing in the doorway of the house with his usual expressionless face, I knew that this was the last time I would see him and that he wished to rather have no son than me. I just knew it.

1916

Simon stole my hat. I wouldn’t mention this minor form of his bullying, if it hadn’t been a special hat. My mother and I bought it, when her disease hadn’t been noticeable. It was too large back then, but it suits me now. Or rather suited. I don’t think I will see it again as Simon comes up with the best ways to either destroy or hide it. I cried about it. Childhood is over, but honestly I don’t think it ever started in the first place at least not for me.

The numbness is spreading inside my body. I think about the military and the forced marriage daily. I am too young for this. I cannot even properly cope in a classroom. How am I supposed to cope in the war? My hands are to soft. My brain is too precious. Please, spear me. They won’t. It is just a question of time.

I went to the lake today. It is spring and still fairly cold, but I went inside non the less. It was cold. Ice cold. I went under water and yelled out some poetic nonsense. I thought about staying under water. Turning into Ophelia. But I reminded myself, that this is something a coward would do. A Mary Ann. I would proof everyone’s suspicions as correct. Scared to live. Scared to die. I got out of the water. My gaze landed on my clothes and the letter. My father had written me that the marriage would be held in some days, since I am 16 now. I ripped the paper in half and tossed it into the ocean. Letting the water destroy the writing on the paper. Of course this would make nothing undone. I would still need to marry. I would still need to go into the military. I would still need to die. I am frightened. The other boys seem unbothered. They laugh and play like the world isn’t ending around us. Well, their world is probably not ending anyways. They will live. Their parents are rich after all. They have the privilege. I would have had this privilege as well, but they took it from me by putting this name on me. I took it from myself with my impure thoughts.

Cordelia sent me a telegram that just read that I would need to be careful as death was approaching me in the worst way. I hate her for that. As if I wouldn’t know that. As if I wouldn’t know that I needed to go into the army soon. Not a single word about our forced wedding. I thought we had always agreed to both be against it. But then again she isn’t even trying to love me. Not that I would try. Not anymore. I tried when I was younger, because I was told to. But Cordelia has just no idea how to react appropriately to a gentleman. Her behavior makes it hard to believe that she is from such a high rank.

I saw Simon with a weird book today. He told me it is from his brother and that it is about demons. I told him that this was total nonsense and that he should get a grip on reality. He didn’t spoke to me again after that. Weird for someone who is as annoying as him. I am going to put my notebook in the pocket of my sleeping clothes tonight just to make sure Simon cannot steal it. I have a bad feeling in my stomach. My heart is aching for absolutely no reasons. I am afraid as I try to sleep tonight and the worst thing is that it is irrational. I am going to die alone, this is all my head produces right now.

?

Now every page was covered with blood at the side of the pages and sometimes even on the writing itself. There were no drawings to be found anymore. Just drawings for the escape plan and hierarchy of hell.

I don’t know if my dates are correct. I don’t know how time works in here. I don’t even know how long I am able to write without this thing waking up. This thing with the many doll heads. This spider like creature that kills me every time I move or make a sound. I sometimes wonder what happened to the other boys.

I try to change my perspective. It is hard when you are in so much pain. My brain learned to be sharper now. I can think and act quicker. I need to see this as one of my old detective games or as the times that I had to run away from my bullies. Everything is achievable with logic. Although I would say after being in hell for such a long time that might be a delusional optimism.

1988

I think I made it out fairly well. I am still uncontrollably shaky when I hear any noises. I fear that this demon might comeback to get me. I am back in the old school attic where they strapped me down on the table and sacrificed me. I learned a lot from hell and from the books in the attic. Like the basic ghost rules or that my death and the death of my bullies were labeled an act of god. I compared hell to the war a lot. After all I would say that hell was definitely the worse death. Much longer torture than war would have been. In the war you die just one death after all. But maybe a Mary Ann like me would have ended up there anyway.

I finally was brave enough to get out of the attic. I figured out that the year is 1988 from a newspaper that one of the teachers was reading. 72 years of torture. I wonder how often I was torn apart in this time. But I shouldn’t think about that. That reminds me of the pain and of the times when I tried to count my own corpses. The school hasn’t changed a lot. The teachers are less violent, but still rather strict. They have more lower class people here now. I can see it by the ways they behave and by the clothes they wear. That is especially confusing for me. So rude, so explicit, so freely. It is not a boarding school anymore. Luckily that gives me the freedom to have my peace after dark.

I started to watch a specific boy. I am not a stalker. At least I wouldn’t use this therm for a ghost. He is just interesting for my scientific research about this time. The boy has a darker skin. Some children in this school have this skin and get picked on, but somehow he isn’t the one who gets pick on. He wears very interesting clothes. Especially the golden earring. Something I would just see a woman wear, but it fits him so much better than it could ever fit a woman. His clothing is mostly black, though I would say that the red shirt he once worn fits him best. His lips have always a smile on them and he cracks loud jokes. But I see the sadness in his eyes. I recognize my own sadness in his eyes. His name is Charles Rowland. I heard the teacher yell it at him. A little trouble maker in class. He seems to never be able to focus. Maybe he is also possessed like I was when I was a young boy. But after experiencing hell, I doubt that the priest back then had any idea what a demon was really like.

The following page is filled with a very realistic drawing of Charles, who is smiling so iconically and his eyes seem to be filled with emptiness and some smaller doodles of Charles playing Cricket or talking to others.

Charles Rowland. His name repeats itself in my brain. I am not obsessive. He is just the best way of distraction I can find in this school. Distraction from the fear of hell. The fear of death coming back for me. Analysis and observation keep me away from those horrible thoughts. I have less panicle outbursts since I started my observation of this boy. Although when I am alone at night in the school attic I often start to cry in silence and my breathing races again.

Charlie. That is what his friends call him. It doesn’t suit him. Charles is his name. Not Charlie. I don’t like his friends. They are rude. They remind me of the boys in my old life. I wonder why I like Charles then. Maybe because he points out obvious misbehavior of the group even if they mock him.

The most interesting time is when Charles thinks that he is alone. That is mostly in the dressing room, when he gets ready for Cricket. As a short notion he is a fabulous cricket player, but he always waits till the other boys have changed and are out of the room. He pretends to struggle with his shoes or shorts. Even if that sometimes means that it is getting really dark outside. His smiles fades completely then. I saw the scars on his body. I feel bad for even looking at him in that state. Seeing a boy my age without a shirt is clearly inappropriate and it triggers the Mary Ann inside of me, but sometimes my detective senses is taking over too much. Especially after I saw all the scars and bruises. You don’t need to be that clever to understand that his family probably his father beats him. Although beating may be a too mild verb for those scars. I appreciate the absence of my father when I see him. My father and teachers used to beat me as well. With a ruler or the flat hand though not as much as my classmates. And after being through hell, that all seems like nothing in comparison. But even in my time no father would have mistreated their sons like that. I speak from a higher class, maybe it had been different in the lower class, but they were happy if their sons made it through childhood without a disease or scars so they could work properly. Although maybe they did this with the child workers. Is Charles secretly a child worker? Is there still child labour? Why would someone bruise their son like that if their son could provide a great income for the family? Or how many things was Charles doing something seriously wrong?

1989

His friends talked about me last night. They had cricket practice until the sun had settled and on the way back home I heard them talking about a school ghost. The janitor must have heard my weeping last night. My hysteria yesterday was indeed a lot. Too much to handle for myself. I think I was shaking till dawn. This vivid fear must have crossed over into the living world. They told Charles, that this had scared the janitor and he quitted. Then they told him of Mary Ann who was sacrificed 1916 and killed all the boys that night. Charles questioned this logically, since it was an all boys school, so there probably was never a girl. I certainly appreciate his thinking, but this just triggered a lot in me. Being called a Mary Ann even after all this years. Being remembered only as a Mary Ann. Being blamed as the murderer. Those boys clearly had no idea of what the term Mary Ann actually meant, but it just triggered me so badly that I started to panic again. My panic must have bursted through the worlds again, because the boys suddenly turned white and ran home. Charles stayed a little longer. Looking in my direction. I know he couldn’t see me, but maybe he could sense my panic more than the other boys could. Again we are much a like if you observe closely. After this strange second of him just starting into nothing and me starting back, he ran away as well.

I need to leave this place. But I am too scared. Too scared of the outside world. Too scared of the changes.

I wanted to leave today, be brave enough. But I heard Charles ‘friends’ talking bad about him behind his back. How weird he behaved. They had no idea about his scars. Then again if I would be his friend, which is rather unlikely, I wouldn’t confront him. I know how horrible I panic if someone says the word Mary Ann, I imagine that it is a similar situation for him with his scars. I stayed. I don’t know why. Again irrational fears.

I wish I would have left. I saw Charles defending a boy who got bullied by his so called friends. I felt tears in my eyes, because this was the kind of protection I had wished for when I was alive. I definitely feel too many emotions at the moment or maybe it just feels like more emotions because I was mostly numb in hell. The younger boy could escape with only a few bruises, but his friends still were in this blood lust. In this moment of still wanting the fun even though there was nothing funny about the action in the first place. I have seen those faces before. The faces of murders who only realize their actions when it is too late. They stoned him in the cold water. The water of the lake in which I once thought about killing myself a long time ago. I wanted to help. I wanted to stop them, but I had no idea what I could do. I am too new in this ghostly body. I tried desperately, but I ended up only pausing them by holding them back for a short time. It gave Charles time to ran away to the school building. He hid in the attic. I wanted to help him. The least I could do was by giving him a light. He was in a state where a floating light probably was his least problem. It turned out that he could see me and that was the moment I knew it was too late for him anyway. It was a strange sensation to properly speak again. I had never spoken in hell and in my ghost form I had only weeped. Hearing my own voice was odd. I was shortly surprised that I still knew how to use my voice. Reading to him from one of my old comics in the attic calmed him and gave me the opportunity to adapt a bit to talking for a longer period of time. He stayed with me, which honestly stresses me out a lot. I am not made to be a friend. I have been isolated for too long to be a good friend. I have been in hell for so long that I am probably a horrible person myself. I haven’t talked in so long. I am just adapting to just have conversations, how should I teach him to be a ghost, if I haven’t figured it out myself? Even if that all would not be the case and even if we would not be from different times, still I never have been good with other people. I never had friends. The only person a bit close to me was Cordelia and she was always more a sister for me. And still he chooses a stranger his own afterlife. From my observations I would blame his intentional behavior. He sees something and does something without thinking long. Although this decision might be too big for only this explanation.

I really can’t understand why Charles is choosing me over his afterlife. I just read to him once and gave him a lantern. He barely knows me and now he follows me everywhere. I showed him some ghost tricks and somehow I can really impress him by everything I say or do. But he made me smile for the first time in my life. So I am impressed by him as well. Whenever I read in this book, I just tell him that I like to keep record of things. That I would plan were we can go next as we no longer can stay in the school and waking around without plan is never good for too long. It is partly a lie I really am making a plan. But I do this in my head rather than writing it down, but it is an excuse for not letting him see my private writing. I tell him that it is rather boring planning and he believes me. I feel bad for lying to him, but if he would know about my past he surely would leave me and I would be all alone again.

We mirror traveled together to London. Charles felt a bit sick after it. He seems to still need to adapt to his ghost body. I was a bit overwhelmed with his sudden mood shift. I have been too selfish all my life and in my death so much that I don’t know how to help. He didn’t notice or he just didn’t say anything. But we had to mirror travel, it was too dangerous in the school after Charles died. Besides Charles is a talented and athletic boy, he will get the grip of it. In addition death could have caught me in the attic. I didn’t tell him why I am on the run. Not yet. I fear that once I tell him that I was in hell, he will think I am evil. Maybe that is true. Maybe I am just doomed. I feel like it was my fault that he died. I watched him so long with this incorrect feelings of mine. Maybe this cursed him like in a Greek tragedy. For now I just want to make sure that Charles is not alone. I had been alone for too long to know how dreadful it can get and he is much more social than I am.

We visited his family in London. A real rural area. His mother was crying over the loss of her son. His father just seemed to see it as a natural thing to happen to those who aren’t careful enough. I made a mental note to haunt this man every year to Charles’ death day without telling Charles. The school, once again, swept the problem under the carpet and made it appear like an accident. How can someone possibly stone himself while being in the water and then run in an attic? No clever detective would see that as the solution. I said that out loud and it turned out that Charles and I both share a passion for detective stories. That was something to make him smile. But he started to cry again as he saw how desperate his mother and sister were. He hugged me, which was a lot. I never have been hugged before and at first it felt like this demon from hell was gripping around me again. I froze in place and pushed him away in a reflex. Charles stopped. I didn’t tell him about the hell part, but I told him that I am not used to hugs and touches in general. He took it in surprisingly well, but for his own sake I added that I might could get used to it. I hope that I am able to get used to it. Charles sees it as something that he can teach me.

It was just a matter of time till my hell trauma wouldn’t be able to keep hidden anymore. We were in an abandoned apartment, since we both are not staying out the whole night. We don’t have to sleep but it is just too awkward. He usually talks through the whole night and I like his voice even with his weird way of talking. He likes me reading to him. He even carries all my books for me. But as we explored the abandoned house, I discovered an old doll. I overreacted I know. But there was just so much panic inside of me all of the sudden. My fight or flight mood was activated again. I don’t know what Charles did. I don’t know how he managed to stop me from repeating the word ‘Please spare me. I don’t belong in hell.’ I vaguely remember his hands securely holding my head and his shining dark eyes and his calm voice, but I don’t remember his words. He was confused by my sudden changed behavior, but he tried to not show that whole calming me. Once he had calmed me, I obviously had to tell him the truth. I gave him the opportunity to leave me again, but he stayed and he understood, said that this is probably the worst thing someone could have been through. We didn’t speak the rest of the night, but we continued the next day as if nothing had happened.

It is harder to continue my writing as Charles could find out and I don’t want him to know about this. He is so lively. He is jumping and sprinting around, while telling me things and just appears from behind. I cannot risk that. We have a detective agency now. We don’t want that others have their deaths so badly twisted as ours. Another reason was that he had introduced me to a game called Clue, which is basically a detective game, and then we both came up with the idea of starting our own detective agency. He is the brawn and I am the brain. It fits perfectly. We even managed to get a abandoned flat in London. I probably have no time to continue this memoirs, but I will make sure to use my notebook as a case lock book from now own.

I will never tell him about the real meaning of the word Mary Ann. I will never tell him that I had been in the school for a whole year and not just shortly before his death. I will never tell him that I have watched and observed him. I appreciate him now too much. I don’t ever want to lose him.

After that only a whole lot of cases and notes and questions on them followed.

[writerblue275]

(Best)FWB!Ezreal Headcanons (18+)

Inspiration: This was one of the of ideas that got me to start this account lol. I’m also in the process of writing a fic based on this idea and it would be so much easier to just reference this post in the header rather than explain everything in the prose.

Champion: Ezreal (like Pilty!Ezreal/Explorer!Ezreal)

Genre: Headcanon

Category: TINIEST amount of angst but primarily FLUFF and SMUT - I mean what were you expecting. We're talking about best friends with benefits here. Typically the benefits are of an adult nature. 18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Length: This is a looooong one, friends. In my defense, I'm using this headcanon as world-building/background information for at least 1 future fic (It's quickly turning into multiple parts lmao).

Gender: Fem!Reader/reader who is fem presenting? Ahhhh even my non-binary ass doesn't know how to describe this...mention of dresses and stuff.

TW: Adult themes. Friends with benefits, reference to adult activities and kinks. For example: semi-public petting or Dom/sub dynamics. Slight mention of what (probably) happened to his parents and the emotional fallout of that. Mention of alcohol (always drink responsibly y’all). Swearing (as per usual).

Important context: I know game Ez’s age is a bit debated, though generally agreed on somewhere in early to early-mid-20s. For adult Ez in this, let’s say he’s like 23-24? Also Indiana Jones exists in this universe because DAMNIT I WANT TO CALL HIM INDIANA JONES AS A NICKNAME.

SFW

Your father is a history professor at the academy who knows/works with Ezreal’s uncle, Professor Lymere, and who often collaborated with Ez’s parents before they disappeared. Archeology and history go hand-in-hand, after all.

These collaborations led to you and Ezreal being together often as kids since you were around the same age, and a close friendship developed.

To the point of casual physical affection (hugs, hand holding, occasional cuddles) and silly nicknames for each other. He calls you princess, you call him…idiot mostly. (Jk…kinda.) You’ve called him Indiana Jones for forever since he was just as fascinated about archeology/artifacts as his parents.

You have called him an idiot many times though, especially when he’s been extremely rash and reckless.

At various points in your friendship, people have seen the two of you and assumed you had to be dating. It’s hysterical to both of you.

“Me dating Ezreal?! Nah, he’s just my best friend.”

“(Y/N)?? Absolutely not. We’re just best friends.”

You’re one of the few people who can humble Ezreal, a specialty of yours since early on in your friendship.

You: *In your father’s office studying while he teaches a lecture to one of his classes in a nearby lecture hall*

Ez: *Runs into the office, breathlessly laughing as he leans against the now closed door, holding a toupee*

You: *Eyebrows raise* Whatcha got there, Ez?

Ez: *grins* One of the campus warden’s toupees!

You: *Stares at him for a second and sighs* You’re a moron….*goes back to studying*

After his parents’ disappearance, you were understandably worried for Ezreal. You watched as your best friend struggled through the stages of grief, and even worse, stalled before he could get to the acceptance stage of what most likely happened.

You were always there to listen when he needed an ear. Even more importantly you tried to serve as a voice of reason once Ez started planning his own expedition to find the final resting place of Ne’Zuk.

You never said anything to completely dissuade him, because you wanted him to follow his heart and his dreams, but you couldn’t help but worry. With what likely happened to his parents, you were utterly terrified he wouldn’t come back, especially considering his stubbornness, his recklessness, and his age. Losing your best friend was a thought you just couldn’t stomach.

Only you knew about his plan to sneak onto a supply ship bound for Nashramae. You sent him off in the middle of the night with a giant hug and a “Be safe, Indiana Jones. You better come back alive…Write when you can…”

After a second he pulled back from the hug, gave you a signature Ez smirk, and said, “You know me well enough to know I’ll be fine, princess…”

Once he did set off, you had to convincingly act as though you didn’t know where he went. It was difficult, especially seeing how distraught his uncle was once he read Ez’s note, but your loyalty was to your friend.

It was torment waiting for any sort of news. Ez wasn’t exactly going to the most populated areas.

Thankfully, he did eventually return, excited to show off his new gauntlet, using it often to flash behind you and scare you.

“Ez, I swear if you keep scaring me, I cannot be held responsible for any damage to your stupid handsome face.”

*Smirk* “Handsome eh?”

“…Shut up…f-forget I said anything…the last thing you need is an inflated ego.”

But he didn’t forget.

Over the years as he gained notoriety and fame from his adventures, you were one of the few people who didn’t treat him any differently from how you had in the past.

As much as his ego craved the validation and fame, hoping they’d be enough to draw his parents back (god damn this man needs HELLA therapy), having someone who just treated him as Ezreal, not as the prodigal explorer, was really nice…

Once he was a little older, when he started getting invites to parties and banquets to talk about his adventures, you became his go-to date.

As he told you, “It’s just easier than dealing with the rabid fans. Also you’re good-looking, and I need someone with me that helps make me look good.”

That earned him a sarcastic eye roll and “Thanks, I guess?” from you.

With the fame and scale of his adventures, Ez collected a decent amount of wealth on top of what his family already had. As thanks for being his go-to plus-one, he’d always take care of the cost of your clothes and accessories for these events, sometimes even buying outfits for you himself; things that he thought would look good on you. He has shockingly good taste and understands your sense of style very well. (SUGAR DADDY FRIEND EZ, ANYONE?)

It was about a year and a half ago that things in your friendship changed. He’d been gone almost 3-months chasing a particularly legendary relic rumored to be surrounded by an incredible number of traps that were said to be impassable.

“Impassable” is Ez’s specialty, as you know.

Of course, his exuberant return made him a popular invite to all the parties. Everyone wanted to hear the tales of Piltover’s prodigal explorer.

You were just fucking relieved to have your best friend home, alive, and in one piece.

NSFW

It was after one of these fancy parties when things popped off. There’d been an open bar during the dancing portion of the evening. Both of you were tipsy. Both of you were giggly. Ez gave you a piggy back ride home since you decided to kick off your incredibly uncomfortable heels the second you stepped outside. (What a gentleman.)

Once you arrived at your apartment, you invited him to stay the night as he always did since it was so late. Of course he agreed, grabbing the extra set of comfy clothes he stashed there for such situations and going to change while you prepared the couch for your usual post-event chats, setting up, pillows, blankets, snacks, and water.

As he came out of the hallway to the living room where you were, you could feel his gaze glued to you as you bent down to prep some things*

You: *blushing a little and not looking up at him* “Yes?”

Ez: *smirks* I thought that dress would look incredible on you, and I was right….you look even sexier than usual…

You looked up at him with wide eyes, your cheeks DEFINITELY pinker as your mind took a second to register what he said* “You thought about how I’d look in this? W-wait…you think I’m sexy?”

He just grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “Of course I did and of course I do. I’ve told you before that you’re good looking. Do you remember when you accidentally blurted out that I was handsome? Do you still think I am?”

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or your curiosity about the direction of this conversation that had you saying, “Yes I do. I’ve thought that for a long time. But, I don’t understand why that matters? You’re my best friend, Ezreal, and to be honest, dating you sounds like a nightmare. I already worry enough about you when you’re on your expeditions. Adding deeper feelings into that sounds like a one-way express ticket to driving myself insane.”

Ez chuckled, “Who said anything about dating or deeper feelings? Feelings are the last thing I need in my life (again THERAPY, MY GUY). But, the way I see it, I’m physically attracted to you, you’re physically attracted to me, neither of us want feelings involved beyond what our friendship is now….that sounds like an arrangement that is mutually beneficial…”

You straightened up and folded your arms together as you contemplate his words. “So like a…friends with benefits sort of thing?”

Ez grinned. “More like best friends with benefits, but yes. I have needs. I’m assuming based on the fact that you’re currently not seeing anyone either that you also have needs. We’ve helped each other out with problems many times….why not help each other with this one?”

Ok, but why was he making so much sense??

He was also right. You’d been going through a hell of a dry spell as of late. And hey, when it comes to people, you trust Ezreal more than anyone else. You’d also be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t find him extremely attractive. All of these reasons pinged around your mind until finally…

“Yes…ok…yes….tonight can serve as a test of sorts…but I’m not finalizing anything until tomorrow morning when both of us are stone cold sober. I have conditions, but they don’t apply at the moment. Got it?”

His response was an frantic nod and an eager “Got it,” as he stepped closer and reached for your waist to pull you to him.

Your response was to turn around and move your hair to the side. “Ah ah ah. First help me with my zipper…then show me what you can do, pretty boy…”

And BOY DID HE. Quite honestly he blew your mind (and your back out 😉). But we’ll get to that later on.

The important conversation happened the next morning after you two woke up tangled with each other.

Ez sat up and stretched, and you couldn’t help it as you sleepily reached over and gently ran your fingers along his abs.

He gave you a sleepy smirk and eyebrow raise before murmuring, “Already want another round, princess?”

This resulted in you pinching him before you also pulled yourself up, not even caring that he was baldly admiring you as you stretched. “I tentatively agree to this arrangement, Ez, but I want to talk about limits/conditions. Let’s talk as we get breakfast ready…”

Your conditions: 1. While this arrangement is in place, he’s not sleeping with anyone else and that includes on expeditions. You don’t want the chance for any sort of disease. 2. If either of you falls for another person, the arrangement needs to end (obviously you two would talk about it so the other knows what’s going on). 3. This can’t fuck up your friendship. Even if things physically end, your friendship needs to remain intact. You don’t want to lose your best friend. 4. No falling in love with each other.

Ez easily agreed to your terms and laid out his own: 1. He’ll see you when he gets home from expeditions and while he’s in Piltover. 2. If he’s not sleeping with anyone else, he hopes you won’t either. 3. He wants you to take care of yourself mentally (a bit ironic), physically, and emotionally, especially while he’s gone. (He won’t admit it, but when he’s on his explorations, he thinks/worries about you often and wonders if you’re doing alright.) 4. He wants to continue to buy you gifts and clothes, and he also wants to start including lingerie in said gifts if you tell him your sizes and style preferences.

The last one surprised you. “Lingerie? Why? That seems pretty intimate for fuck buddies. I certainly don’t expect such gifts from you.”

He was unfazed, instead just grinning and chuckling at the surprise on your face. “Believe it or not, it’s almost more for me than you. Undressing you will be like unwrapping my own present.”

Strangely enough you couldn’t find any fault with that logic.

You agreed to all his terms, and the two of you did a little hand shake to finalize things. A strangely small gesture to seal a massive change in your friendship.

(*Clears throat*) And now for the important part…

Definitely NSFW - AKA How is Ez as a FWB?

With an ego like his, you might think Ez is a selfish lover.

And you know what, maybe to start he is, but you shut that shit down IMMEDIATELY. Remember, you’re one of the only ones who can humble this man.

Once you make it clear that this arrangement will not be one-sided in pleasure if he wants it to continue, he makes sure to act RIGHT.

Like he really makes sure to blow your back out every single time (hell yeah go you).

A large part of his initial “selfishness” is hesitance. You two have known each other forever, but certainly not in this way. You telling him off? Honestly it reminds him that this is still you, his best friend, who he knows better than just about anyone. He is just learning about another side of you.

That is a confidence boost to him and banishes any insecurities he has.

(Unlike Heartsteel Ez who I see very primarily as a sub) Ez is a true switch maybe even leaning a little dom.

Whatever you need him to be, he can be.

Ezreal can be VERY PLAYFUL. Your normal friendship is filled with laughter and teasing, and your friendship in the bedroom is no different.

That doesn’t mean he can’t be serious though, he absolutely can be.

He’s the extremely teasing type, expertly working you up with just a couple touches in public or private and then making you wait.

For example, at those fancy dinners you go to with him? If anyone bothers to look under the tablecloth they'll see his hand on you, thumb tracing shapes into the fabric of your dress high up on your thigh, while he casually recounts the harrowing details of his adventures.

There you are, just sitting there trying to keep a straight face and not blush. He does it often enough you think you’d be used to it by now but NOPE.

You’re really glad no one expects you to tell any stories at those things because every time his hand creeps onto your thigh, your brain short circuits a little bit. Trying to tell a story or hold more than a passing conversation would be incredibly difficult.

And he KNOWS IT TOO. Once he’s not speaking, he always looks over at you and gives you a little smirk.

And if you do the same to him when he’s not telling stories? He will not stop leaning over and softly complaining in your ear.

You take great pleasure in whispering in his ear, “Can’t handle what you dish out? This is what you get, you teasing fuck.” (Or something similar lol.) Then you pass everything off as normal with a very quick, friendly, and casual kiss on the cheek which makes HIS brain short circuit a little bit.

Very touchy and LOUD in bed, especially when you’re on top. To the point you have had to cover his mouth with your hand and threaten to STOP riding him if he doesn’t get himself together and be quieter. He knows damn well how thin apartment walls in Piltover are.

Eventually you just gag him with something, because let’s be honest, it’s an empty threat. You definitely DON’T want to stop and he’s well aware of that.

When he’s on top though, Ez intentionally will do things that cause your sounds to get louder, making no attempts to quiet you. Instead he just smirks down at you and whispers in your ear, “Is that all you’ve got, princess? I know you can get louder than that…don’t hold back for me…”

Don’t be afraid to mark him. Feeling your nails dig into his shoulders/back or feeling you mark his collarbone with hickeys drives him absolutely wild.

Very very VERY good at dirty talk. His wit and sass translate extremely well to more intimate contexts. And when you dirty talk right back at him? He loves it when you’re just as playful as he is. His favorite is when you murmur something filthy in his ear and follow it up with a playful little nip somewhere.

Loves tying you up and loves being tied up, as well as using blindfolds.

Not the most attentive with aftercare, but hey, your arrangement isn’t romantic so you don’t mind. He at least stays the night/for breakfast and cuddles you which is honestly more than you thought he’d do.

It might be a bit inconsistent concerning WHEN you see Ezreal since who knows when he’ll come back from his expeditions, but whenever he is in Piltover, the two of you certainly have a good time. Besides, it’s good to know your best friend is home safe…at least until he sets off on another adventure.

Thank you for reading!! Omg I had so much fun with this one. And I’m already enjoying writing the associated fic. It was literally just supposed to be a one-shot and now there’s absolutely going to be multiple parts, so keep an eye out for that!

[wendichester]

𓂃˖ ࣪ 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

˚₊‧꒰ა @melwnst ☆ sam winchester ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⋆˙⟡ where leo, virgo, cancer meets taurus, virgo*, capricorn. ⟡˙⋆

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐

ꔛ. meeting each other,

✧ who you are in the supernatural world .ᐟ

you’re the quiet storm. leo sun makes you radiant—everyone notices you—but cancer moon + venus + lilith says you’ve been through it. you're human, mostly. but you’ve got intuitive blood, probably a distant descendent of someone who made a pact with something eldritch. maybe you're a researcher in the Men of Letters archive network, or a rogue intuitive medium who only helps people who truly need it. virgo stellium (mercury + mars + jupiter)? babe, you're the one who knows exactly how to salt the bones, where the ghost's heart is hidden, and why that Latin inscription was mistranslated in Bobby’s journal. nerdy competence mixed with emotional depth = supernatural gold.

✧ what he's like .ᐣ

haunted academia in flannel. taurus sun + mercury + mars makes him grounded, stubborn, sensual, and... sometimes way too rigid. capricorn moon means his inner world is heavy, practical, often guilty. his gemini venus makes him curious, intellectual, low-key flirtatious. but don’t get it twisted—sam doesn’t fall often, and when he does, it hurts in the best possible way.

✧ first meeting + first impression

you’re tracking a cursed artifact tied to your own bloodline. sam and dean show up thinking it’s a simple haunting. spoiler: it’s not. you walk out of the basement holding the artifact with your bare hands and an expression that says you’ve done this before. sam’s first thought? “how the hell did she find this before me?” his second? “…she looks like she hasn’t slept in three days. is she okay? should i be worried… or impressed?”

ꔛ. friendship compatibility,

✧ how it'd begin ...

reluctant collaboration. you’re both cautious—he’s been burned, you overthink everything—but you get each other’s logic. your virgo placements match his meticulousness. your cancer softness cracks his defenses. it starts with joint research. it escalates when you save his life with something only you would’ve known to look for. then he's sitting beside you with two cups of coffee, no words, just… there.

✧ the friendship dynamic

emotionally intelligent, slightly co-dependent, and very cozy. you're the one person he calls when he needs clarity. he's the one who always makes sure you get home safe. there's mutual respect first, and deep affection after. sometimes you fall asleep beside him in the library, books open, hearts heavy.

✧ quirks + fun things

you both alphabetize research notes and silently judge dean for not doing it you trade poetry quotes back and forth in texts, no context you cook him dinner on his birthday without asking, and he pretends not to tear up

ꔛ. romantic compatibility,

✧ are you compatible .ᐣ first steps .ᐣ

oh honey, you’re so compatible it’s terrifying. your virgo mercury + mars align like a perfect battle plan with his taurus logic. your cancer moon + venus gives him the softness he doesn’t know how to ask for. but he takes the first step. slowly. maybe too slowly. he brushes your hand a little too long. offers to stay behind on a hunt with you. asks how you’re doing and actually listens. until one night, you’re reading together and he just leans in. no warning. no words. just skin meeting skin like it was always meant to.

✧ the relationship dynamic

patient. intense. thoughtful. healing. arguments? yes—but never yelling. just heavy silences and late-night apologies. you write him notes when you're upset. he touches your back when you're anxious. making up? soft kisses. hands in hair. “i'm here” repeated like a prayer. grand gestures? he saves a page in every book he reads just for you. you get a tattoo in enochian that only he knows the meaning of.

✧ love languages ♡

him quality time (he doesn't say it, but sitting in silence with you = love) acts of service (researching for you, fixing wards, watching your back) words of affirmation (he writes his love in footnotes and journal margins)

you acts of service (you pack his bag before hunts, you fix things quietly) words of affirmation (especially written, especially when he's spiraling) physical touch (but only when you're safe—then you cling like ivy)

ꔛ. scenario ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ friends and lovers

as friends, you’re the one who keeps his world functional. you gently tell him when he’s spiraling, remind him to eat, pull him out of books when the sun sets and the motel lights go dim. he helps you see logic in emotion. you help him see emotion in logic. you hold hands under the table during tense conversations with hunters. you braid each other’s wounds and trust each other more than anyone else. as lovers, you become each other’s ritual. morning coffee, late-night research, mid-hunt glances that say “are you okay?” without words. how you met becomes something the others stop asking about because it’s so obvious you were always going to find each other. how you make it work? honest communication. staying curious. letting the past stay in the rearview. loving each other as whole, flawed people. you cry in his arms after hard hunts. he reads aloud to you when you can’t sleep. your love becomes a sanctuary. not perfect, but safe. sacred. real.

ꔛ. overall ゛ ⸝⸝.ᐟ⋆ 9.7 / 10

this is slow, emotional wildfire. it’s built on mutual respect, loyalty, and a shared obsession with truth. you wouldn’t just love sam—you’d understand him. and for someone like him? that’s everything. but this isn’t a fling. this is build-a-home-inside-my-chest kind of love. if you fall for him, you’re falling for a lifetime of trying to make the world better, together. and he’d love you like you were the one thing worth fighting for.

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

* since the birth time of sam hasn't ever been mentioned, I've placed him as a virgo rising, since it's the sign that makes more sense to me.

[pkmnirl]

How do you go about getting ideas for arcs? I’m struggling to figure out what I want to do with my character :(

Great question! This happens to be one of my absolute favorite parts of writing and pkmn irl itself. I've always been more of an ideas guy myself. I hope you don't mind but I decided to turn this into a bit of an overall tutorial for planning and writing arcs. Feel free to ask for any specifics because I could delve into my personal process for arc brainstorming, but I was admittedly writing this before getting ready for work and this post was getting kinda long haha

Knowing where to draw inspiration from can be a good place to start. It's wonderful to be inspired by music, a movie or tv show, a book, or even other people in the community and their writing. Ask yourself what elements of that thing draw you in. What do you like? What would you maybe do differently? I must mention though to be respectful of the work other blogs have put into their writing. Being inspired is a wonderful thing, lifting exact details or passages is not. If you're unsure, there's no harm is asking!

The most helpful thing I can tell you right off the bat is that you want to find out how to brainstorm. In schools they'll often try to teach you ways of brainstorming and outlining to structure your essay writing, if you're lucky they might even mention that there are multiple ways you can do this. The ones in school never worked for me personally, so for a long time I assumed brainstorming and outlining was a complete waste of my time and would launch straight into my writing drafts. But as I wanted to write more complex things and I wanted to indulge in more creative writing, I found myself getting stuck all the time. The truth is brainstorming is a helpful tool, but you have to know what type of brainstorming works best for you. Flowcharts, bullet points, stream of consciousness, word clouds, moodboards, drawings, whatever it is that gets your creative juices flowing. In my experience it works best to remember that not every one of these elements will make it into the final arc. You want to get your ideas down first and trim the excess later. I personally pay for a program (Milanote) that allows me to brainstorm in the methods that work best for me, but by no means do you have to pay for a program to do this. Pen and paper works just fine.

The next thing you wanna do is establish what you want your arc to do. Not every arc has to be a grand character development, but all arcs do something. No matter how small that something may be, something has to change as a result. Maybe your character meets a new person, obtains a new Pokemon, gets a new scar and a story to tell their friends, or maybe all they got was a t-shirt. If you already had a loose concept for your arc this can help you hone it. You can start asking yourself, "how does my character reach this point?" and work up to that. Map out what you think your character would do when dropped into a particular situation. This can also help you to establish the tone you want your arc to take. Is it silly and lighthearted or is it more serious and high stakes? Refer to the stakes tag post about proper tagging.

It can help to conceptualize your arc as a series of events rather than a single event. This allows you to understand how many posts you may need to split the arc up into, how much time the arc may take, or other hard to sort details.

These things ramp up when you start to incorporate more people into your arcs. Planning with your fellow writers is extremely important and that requires a lot of communication. Some writers prefer to do what we call pre-writing, which is typically you and the other writers get together and write out the posts in advance. This gives people the chance to look over each other's writing and make edits before the posts go live. Planning discords are useful for keeping things organized, but google docs or other collaborative writing programs can work just as well if those better suit your needs. Organize who is posting what and generally at what time, especially if the post involves other people's characters.

Remember all of this is for fun! These are not hard rules you need to follow. You should not force yourself to write things you do not like for the sake of others or for an imagined audience. Write what you want to write.

[nickeverdeen]

hey there! request for a romantic arcane match up coming thru ><

my name is rei! I’m a pansexual girlie, borderline introvert and extrovert (so ambivert? 🥹) and I mainly go by she/her.

starting off strong with what most people think about me. I’m a well spoken person, and it is also one of the many things I’m confident about myself.

as a humanities and social sciences girly, I enjoy to write a lot—thru text, hand written letters or academic essays whatever the topic may be.

I enjoy giving on the spot lengthy speeches, I just have always something to say whatever the occasion may be and I’m never afraid to voice out anything.

I’m genuinely a very busy person, but on most days that I’m not busy, I mostly just tend to slack off. most of the time I just sleep endlessly, but I do keep myself productive—I like to read a book or two on occasion, play any games I find interesting, cook and bake..but I mostly prefer to cook, listening to music: opm and (k)-r&b most of the time (I suggest listening to the dress by dijon or dilaw by maki!) I like to yap, a lot—as if this request doesn’t say that a lot already…😓 I like to be innovative when given the chance to do so, I love sweets (macarons!), I do debating on my free time, I play the piano, biggest love language has to be gift giving and words of affirmation.

I hate loud noises, I always get startled for some reason. i like peaceful surroundings or to be surrounded with people who can calm me down, i love to listen to others and earned the title therapist friend, I’m mainly a people pleaser most of the time, I’d hate to disappoint or live down to others expectations for me.

I guess that’s all for me, thank you so much writer ^^💙

Your Arcane match is…

Viktor

Viktor would love listening to your on-the-spot speeches and debates

Your confidence and eloquence would mesmerize him, and he’d often ask for your opinion on topics that mattered to him

Knowing you dislike loud noises, Viktor would create a calm and peaceful environment for you

He’d wake you up gently with soft music or the sound of tea brewing in the background

Viktor would share his research and ideas with you, valuing your insight and unique perspective

Your humanities background would offer him a fresh lens to view his work

Viktor would be intrigued by your love for cooking

Though he might not be skilled in the kitchen, he’d enjoy being your sous-chef, letting you take the lead while sneaking tastes of whatever you’re making

Viktor would adore your love for gift-giving and words of affirmation

He’d reciprocate by crafting small, thoughtful inventions or writing heartfelt notes, which would mean the world to you

He’d admire your empathetic side and lean on you when his insecurities or frustrations surfaced

You’d become his safe space, and he’d trust you like no one else

Viktor would often join you by the piano, either listening as you played or tentatively trying to play alongside you, laughing at his own mistakes while you guided him

You’d spend quiet afternoons reading together or helping him with his research, offering him a much-needed break from overworking himself while still being productive

Viktor would find your presence inherently calming

Whether you were talking about your day or simply sitting beside him, your energy would be a source of solace for him

Your knack for being innovative would inspire Viktor

He’d encourage you to pursue creative projects and even collaborate with you, merging your unique ideas with his engineering expertise

[petitelepus]

I'm a little nervous to ask, but can I get a match up?

I love art, so much so that I want to make it a career, and am a very "if you can't find it, make it. If you can't make it, learn how" type of person when it comes to the content I wanna see or create, collaborating with others to bounce ideas and simply have a good time talking about the things we like! I'm very physical, touchy and huggy, along with talkative to the point I end up talking to myself sometimes, and I love to play point and click puzzle games as well as story driven plotlines (not much of a fighter, but will learn controls if needed), and sometimes my own projects get outta hand and take months to get a pen to paper. I'm also an avid music lover, tunes playing at every opportunity!!

I hope this isn't too much tbh, MB if it is,

Have-a-great-life-bye!!!

I match you with Cyclonus and Tailgate!

Believe it or not, but it's Cyclonus who first falls for you. He finds you interesting and adores how much you like music, just like him. Not only that, but you are artistic and kind to Tailgate.

He likes you to the point of feeling incredibly bad and tells Tailgate that not only does he love him, but he has started to develop feelings for you as well.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!?" Tailgate gasped, "I like them also!"

Unknownst to Cyclonus, Tailgate grew feelings for you as well. He just didn't realize it until his bigger half told him about his feelings.

The two of them agree to come clean to you and tell you that they are interested in you and wish that you could give them a chance? How could you say no?

They both support you very much, to the point of trying to learn to do art with you. You're actually a really good teacher for both of them and they are eager to learn more.

Tailgate is full of ideas that the two of you bounce to each other, while Cyclonus enjoys listening to you because you're both really cute when you engage in such passion-filled conversation.

Tailgate also loves playing video games with you, no matter what kind they are, and Cyclonus actually likes these story-driven plotline games because there is an actual plot that he can follow. He isn't that into mindless fighting games.

The Minibot is a hug machine. If he wasn't Waste Disposal Bot, he would be the first ever made Hug Bot. What do you mean you have those on Earth?! He is still your favorite, right!?

Okay, Cyclonus can appear cold, but he loves your hugs as much as Tailgate does. He can't really bring himself to ask for a hug as he doesn't think he deserves any, but Tailgate can tell when the huge Bot wants some of your affection also, so he asks for his sake and you happily give him a hug also!

With time, you learn to read Cyclonus just like Tailgate can.

Music, Cyclonus could live purely with music, Tailgate, and you. He loves listening to your favorite music and offering you some of his favorites. His taste is... Special, but there is hidden beauty there.

Tailgate adores Earth music also and often ends up unknowingly singing a song he heard from you under his breath as he does something. It's cute and brings a smile to your and Cyclonus' faces.

The two of them understand your passions for content and work together to make some for you, was it art, music, or perhaps a story. Tailgate is great at coming up with story ideas while Cyclonus is a quick typer and together they create content for you to enjoy.

It's a sweet and thoughtful gesture and some of their stories are based on true events! But the sweetest story is how they grew to love you and they hoped that you would write them your share of the story.

You do, and it's filled with loving scenarios and details that bring Tailgate close to tears and Cyclonus has to excuse himself so he can stop himself from crying also.

They really love you and are excited to write more stories with you in their life.

[cordycepsfem]

I don't know if you already did sometime, but I'm curious to hear more about how you notice women and men speak differently in text. That's an interesting topic so if you don't mind I'd love to hear you elaborate more on it.

I don't think I've ever done a dive into it, but I definitely can speak more on it.

When looking at both writing and spoken conversations between men and women, there are some obvious differences off the bat. Men tend to make statements, like "That's why this plan is the best," whereas women tend to couch their statements among what I call "opt-outs," meaning that if the other person doesn't agree, it's okay because the woman herself might be wrong, like "That's why I feel this plan is the best... but I could totally be wrong." Women tend to phrase things in questions as well to soften the blow of what they're saying.

Other examples:

W: "I don't know... maybe this is crazy, but could we bring in David on this plan?"

M: "Let's bring in David for this plan."

Women apologize more in both written and spoken conversation.

W: "So sorry, but is it possible we could have this done by nine?"

M: "This needs to be done by nine."

Men do not compliment others the way women do, or acknowledge their contributions. This goes again for spoken and written conversation.

W: "Thank you so much for speaking, Barbara. I feel it really brought the meeting together. Your expertise was what we needed."

M: "Thank you" or, in some cases, nothing.

Men can be abrupt/bizarrely brief, stick to facts, and have difficulty letting others into a discussion. In conversation, men have goals, and they want to get there. On the other hand, women will often bring their emotions into discussions or written work, will collaborate with others, and will generally have a start and end point to their work/conversation. Women have goals, but they often do not come out and state what their goals are or work in such straight lines to achieve the stated goals like men will.

W: "Okay, we've brought the group here to discuss the Smith project... we'll hear from Angela, Beth, and Cassie... can you present your findings on this? No worries if you're not ready."

M: "The Smith project will involve X, Y, and Z. Alex and Ben will handle it. Craig has his findings ready."

When women speak more than I think like 30% of the time, men think women are speaking for the majority of the time. This is because of different ways men and women set up conversations and involve others (or do not involve them) in discussions.

Online ways that I notice differences between male and female writers:

female writers can be overly flowery, accommodating of others ("... but that's just how I see it, it's okay if it's different for you"), can use a lot of cutesy or "inside joke" speak, and are more likely to use emojis

female writers prop each other up - "you tell those b*tches, you're a totally valid demigirl sparklegender"

male writers often go immediately to threats or anger when their demands are not met or their statements are not agreed with (I'm sure you've seen this online)

male writers are more likely to insist that they are correct, no matter what

it is usually obvious, at least to me, when a writer is male trying to "pass" as female through their writing, and when a female writer is trying to "pass" as male

This is not to say that men or women are more or less intelligent, that there is one way to speak or write that is "the best."

This starts in childhood. Even though I love to learn about these types of sex-specific linguistics, I am not immune from them. I catch myself apologizing for things that don't require apologizing quite often, or saying "... if that makes sense." I also use ASL on a regular basis and see the same things among my fellow ASL-as-second-language users - men are to the point, even if they sign something incorrectly they just keep going, women apologize more when we don't know the correct signs.

I don't like that Michael Grinder (a non-verbal communication researcher) uses "a male" and "a female" to discuss men and women in this piece, but these are five other ways that non-verbal communication are different between the sexes. Again, the reasons we do these things go back to childhood.

Here's one more article on how girls and boys learn to communicate in the ways they will go on to use as women and men, and why men and women speak the ways they do.

If you have any other questions or want to discuss this further I'd love to talk more!

[divinekangaroo]

Thanks @palmviolet for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 154

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 900k

3. What fandoms do you write for? Peaky Blinders, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy VII, Dragon Age II, The Professionals.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Interesting and not straightforward question: I've been writing since 2007 and only rebooted my fics to AO3 in 2023. I backdated them to time of writing rather than posting live into the current update stream. I was vaguely curious to see what *actually* attracts readers through the AO3 search engine. So, my current top five are all Peaky Blinders Tommy/Lizzie fics, and given my small followers list, everyone following me will probably already have read them!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do, and it’s my vain (both senses of the term) struggle with how to do it appropriately. I am conscious of how comments, particularly on an AO3 "archival" fic, can weight a reader's further interpretation/engagement of or with fic by that author, and that I'll never put so much time into comments as I do into fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The fics I thought of picking for these two pretty much overlapped. Perhaps this shows just how I approach happiness – it’s moments, it’s never an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only old Dragon Age fics. Interesting period of time where any fic author that didn't unequivocally support the moral rightness of one particular character's opinions was targeted. Like: ok to write torture/rape fics of this character, but only if it was clear the author thought this character was morally right. Such a destructive troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'll write sex, mostly as part of a larger arc rather than standalone smut; often it is a partial scenario rather than linear start-to-end event written in a rhythm to support a coherent wanking rise-to-climax read. I'm pleased if people find it pushes their buttons, but I'm also not bothered if it doesn't. I do approach smut as one of many possible lenses or frames for a character, however, so smut that detaches from character confuses me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Sometimes but they have to feel really right. I think I tend more to fusion or pastiche (I think those are the terms?) rather than crossover: I take a particular character concept/theme and port them into a particular environmental context which is not possible in the canon to see what happens. The only one I still have up is a FFXII/Dragonriders of Pern fic (incomplete) which was going to be all about the horrible knowledge of socially accepted and endorsed ritualised rape and forced feminisation of a character.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I'm not that popular to notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have a memory of one in FFXII but can't recall.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Taught me a lot, including the kind of writer I am - difficult to collaborate as my push to complete within a motivational urge period will always be greater than a long-haul effort, and I struggle to be available for other people. I’m either good at the front end ideas-generation, or a micro detail ‘write this particular thing/scene and fill it with goodness’, and not very good at the middle bit – the long slot of planning and plotting and aiming for consistency etc. I am so grateful fandom exists to support non-traditional prose formats which let me play with writing and thinking and engagement without needing to produce to book-style production standards.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? I usually fixate on a character, and pairings allow means to explore that character rather than being an end game.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh they all carry this potential. *cries* The issue for me is loss of motivational drive/thinking; because I rarely have good structural notes etc if I lose my immediate thread of 'thinking of everything all at once' I find it hard to pick up again later. I also stop some fics because I realise how ambitious the scope really is, and I feel like I can’t do them justice.

16. What are your writing strengths? Speed-sketcher? Completionist? Tests multiple ideas rapidly and freely and never worries about something 'being wrong' because there's always another fic to try? Intuitive gut level hits on characterisation here and there?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing, pacing, I can't sustain long fic, I frequently move characters around like paper dolls for the sake of the cool and forget they need their own internal motivation.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I prefer the kind of cant-based/dialect-based approach which splices non-English terms fluidly into English dialogue, mostly because as a child of many migrants this has been my world experience. I do suck at writing this, hence my frequent use of cop-outs to say 'language shift here, meanwhile still writing in English'. But when it’s done well it hits so many of my sweet spots.

19. First fandom you wrote for? FFVII.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Anything in my Personal Favourites list: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3728710. (I'm still too close to Peaky Blinders to pick a fav, it'll take about five years of distance!)

[voxofthevoid]

Hello! We haven't really interacted before but I reviewed a Bleach fanfiction of yours a while ago, and I've loved your stories for the fandom! I'm sad that you no longer write for Bleach, but you've shared some amazing work, so thank you for that.

Just wanted to ask if you have any tips on how to connect more with other readers and writers, as it seems your conversations with other people in your fandoms bring a lot of joy and inspiration! While I wrote fanfiction in my teenage years, I felt very much like a fandom hermit back then but I'm coming back to it now many years later and want to actively engage with more people. I've joined some discord servers and am posting much more to twitter and tumblr, but I'm still pretty shy about messaging people privately as I feel like I don't really know what to say. I know it will take time, but any advice on how to get the ball rolling would be much appreciated.

Good luck with the writing!

Hi! I'm very glad you like my Bleach fics, and hey, being missed isn't a bad thing either ❤

(I do have one 80%–finished grimmichi fic that I'll put up on Ao3 soon-ish. The last chapter won't ever be written, but there's still some 28k of fluff and porn that ends on a fairly conclusive note on the emotional end.)

You're right that interacting with my fellow fans is a large part of what makes fandom fun for me. The community aspect of fandom is something that comes up a lot in conversations about why people flock to fandom, why they stay, and why they leave, and although I'm an introvert bordering on a hermit, the social aspects of fandom are its greatest draw. I write because I need to or I'll burst, but I share for the people here with me. That's not an uncommon attitude or experience. YMMV, but many of us want to connect with people who share our interests, and the level of creativity and commitment fandom inspires often thrives in collaboration and community.

How to get that sense of community is a trickier matter though. You're already in Discord servers, which seems to be the main fandom social space(s) these days. You're also on social media platforms where people can reach out to you or vice versa. So that's the basics covered. After that, it's largely a matter of organically developing relationships. But I do understand the hesitance to just roll up into someone's DMs; even though I have no issues with people popping up in my DMs, I also find it harder to initiate.

Plus, I've found that some sort of existing rapport gives you a better foundation when you do take the step into private exchanges. This can be Ao3 comment sections, Tumblr notes, or Discord group chat spaces. I tend to avoid Discord servers these days, but back when I had more tolerance for group chats, the people I met there often became closer friends. Mostly though, my pocket friends are people I met via Ao3 and, less frequently, Tumblr—fellow authors and readers in a specific fandom.

I know my regulars, here and on Ao3, and I've been a regular many times. Discussions in comments usually start out limited to the specific fic, but they can also include general fandom/canon stuff or even personal talk. Many times, you build a degree of familiarity with a person that way, and if the conversation moves to more private channels, you already have a shared base to build further conversation on.

So my best advice to find friends and like-minded fandom folks is to be active in Ao3 comments and Tumblr notes (...and whatever the corresponding thing is over on Xitter):

Reply to the comments on your stories and try to really engage with what your readers are saying. This is very much a personal preference, but the reason I try to reply with more than a generic "thanks" for longer, more in-depth comments is that, like I said above, nerding out with fellow fans is a huge part of why I love fandom. If people are already expressing interest in your story and you have a shared interest in canon, there's a lot of room there for fun conversations, even if they never go beyond one-off exchanges.

Comment on stories you like, and if you find specific authors you really love, let them know without reservations what you like about their takes and why you like them. One of my favorite commenting methods when I'm well and truly in love with something is to read everything once, then reread and leave longass comments on every chapter/fic. It's time-intensive, but I've never seen the effort go unappreciated. I've also been on the receiving end of this many times, and that's how several of my fandom friendships were born; one of my closest friends is someone I virtually kidnapped because I loved their tags on my JJK fic posts so much.

The above habits can be applied to Tumblr/Twitter too. Plus, there are plenty of people on such sites who engage deeply with fandom outside of fic writing. Be loud and proud about what you love. Sending a DM is an intimidating step, and not everyone will be receptive anyway, but most people welcome encouragement and appreciation. There are a lot of people I'm friendly with and fond of whom I've never interacted with directly, only via Tumble notes or asks.

I think all of this narrows down to being pretty generous when it comes to expressing your love for fandom and fellow fans. Won't always work out for various reasons, but as long as you're having fun, it's not wasted effort or time.

[9lives2mics]

It's crucial to have a showrunner who understands Caryl's dynamic and steers away from racist, misogynistic writing tropes.

Do you think AMC would ever give us that? It’s either Zabel or some other white guy and as far as I’m concerned, they’re all the same. (Your mileage may vary.) The current one didn’t even watch TWD except for the montage at the end with C*nnie, RJ, Judith and Ezekiel, so he thought they were Daryl’s inner circle. I guess anything would be a step up from that?

A step up won't change anything. A showrunner who understands Caryl's story and does justice to their dynamic is a deal breaker.

So far we've seen what the spinoff looks like from the lens of a middle-aged white man who doesn't have enough background on Daryl and Carol's story (which is also clear in the way characters who identify as female were written on the show). That needs to change, not just for the sake of progress, but to help do justice to all the characters involved.

We touched on this briefly in the final part of our S3 breakdown episodes. The reason we think it's important to have a female showrunner who understands Daryl and Carol – individually and together – is because it will elevate the story overall.

We'll get to see a collaboration between Melissa who is an EP and the female showrunner to find new depths in Carol's character that give us a chance to witness her experience in a whole new way. We'll also get a perspective that understands why a huge chunk of the female audience feels safe with Daryl and why his representation is important to everyone. Finding a balance between his epic, badass moments and his heartfelt moments comes from a lens that understands why the female audience connects so deeply and quickly with Daryl's character. It also does justice to his backstory which helps give voice to abuse survivours, especially abuse survivours who identify as male and often feel unsafe to speak out.

As a WOC, I want to see an experienced female showrunner at the helm. It adds another strong female voice behind the scenes alongside Melissa's. It will help broaden the perspective and help expand on characters – especially POC and female characters – around Daryl and Carol so they're not used as plot devices.

Delivering a story that Carylers will invest their time and money in starts with investing in a showrunner with wherewithal to tap into what the audience is anticipating while maintaining Carol's and Daryl's character integrity.

We want explicit canon, yes. But we want it done right. We want Carol and Daryl to grow from the moment that brings them together romantically. We want them to lean into their personal development while working on their relationship together.

So let me answer your question with a question, dear anon, would you still watch if AMC didn't give you that and everything you're waiting for? Because, in the end, you hold the power to decide whether or not to withdraw your investment and find what you need elsewhere.

I personally need to see that AMC is listening to concerns and see them work with a female showrunner after S2 to move forward.

– Shalaka

[thewalrus-said]

fic writer asks! 7, 8, 11, 12, 25!

a bounty!!!!

7. Navigate to your complete list of works on AO3. What are your top 5 Additional Tags?

Character's Name Spelled as Viktor Nikiforov (25)

Anal Sex (18)

Getting Together (18)

Blow Jobs (17)

Post-Canon (15)

8. Tell us your shortest and longest titles of all time.

Ooh, this is hard, haha, I've got 182 of them! Hard to remember. I think the longest is probably my Yuri!!! on Ice Persuasion AU, when pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure, which tbh I kind of regret titling that because it is So Ungodly Long (should have just picked a part of it!), but is also one of the fics I'm proudest of, so.

For the shortest, I've got a couple one-word titles: quartet, and soupmates, and Realign, and maybe some others. toska, that's another one. And that's just scrolling my YoI fics, there might be others in other fandoms I can't remember right now, haha

11. Oh no! You're posting a fic to AO3 and completely forgot to write a summary. What is your summary-writing strategy?

First paragraph or two (or a paragraph or two from later in the fic, if they describe it better, although that's rare). Don't need to write it if I already wrote it! guytappinghistemple.meme

12. Do you write in order, jump around the draft, or a mix? Something else?

So, I think everything I've published (that is to say, finished), I've written start to finish. With a current WIP I've been experimenting with jumping around and writing whatever scene has been in my head lately, because it's a longfic and I don't know all the parts of the plot yet, it's sort of an amalgamation of several AUs I use for bedtime stories. Haven't finished it, not even close, but like I said, it's a longfic! So hopefully I'll get it finished at some point.

25. Someone you know outside of fandom has heard that you're a writer. "I'd like to read something of yours!" they say with sincere enthusiasm. "Where can I find it?" What's your answer?

Tbh I might direct them to my origfic publisher, because if they're going to read my porn I might as well get a few dollars out of it, haha. But I did swap AO3 usernames at a professional symposium last year, with someone I'd never met in person but collaborated with, but that was because ve and I had gotten talking fandom and fanfic.

Thanks! This was fun :D