#I do miss our interactions but I totally understand!!! Take your time <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[wintereign]

🛏️ we do interact but i currently have no muse (one day my muse will return from war lmao)

Why don't we interact - always accepting!

Ahh, understandable!!!! Cause I feel that. My muse for Weiss definitely comes and goes, so I try not to force it when that happens. Even though a lot of the times, I do want to write? But then I don't. So I totally get it. xD Muses can be fickle creatures, it's wild. But definitely take that break, cause I will be here when your muse decides to cooperate! (I assume I won't suffer muse lost. but regardless, we will get around to interacting again when our muses aren't stubborn)

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Hello! I'd love to get into Milgram but I'm not sure how to go about it. I understand that it's over now, but could you suggest a good way to experience the story?

Hello!! Sorry that this took a sec for me to get back to, I wanted to make sure that I was thorough!

For starters, it's very important that I emphasize that Milgram is not over!! The voting is still taking place and we are only about halfway through the interactive thing, so don't worry, you haven't missed it!

Getting into Milgram can be a bit daunting if you're still figuring it out, so I'm happy to help! I'll be explaining roughly how I went about it, because I think it went pretty well.

I also made this playlist:

If you want, instead of using this guide, you can just go through the playlist instead of reading it, but I'd recommend following along! If you want to have the playlist open though, it'll probably help the guide make more sense as I go through it.

I'll break this guide up into parts because it's gonna be pretty long.

PART 1: WHAT IS MILGRAM?

Milgram is an interactive video project in which 10 prisoners, who are all connected to a murder, produce music videos through a machine that give details about themselves, their lives and their crimes.

At the end of each round (which is called a trial), we as a fanbase vote whether we think they're guilty/unforgivable or innocent/forgivable (exact translations vary). There are 3 rounds, so each prisoner gets a total of 3 verdicts. The last one is the only one that sticks, but earlier verdicts influence the prisoners and what songs and information we get along the way.

That's the basic gist. Jackalope (the host of Milgram) explains it in his "This is the MILGRAM" video, which I highly recommend watching to get a better sense. You should also watch the character trailer, which gives you some quick insight into who each of the prisoners are before you watch their videos.

Es's one and only MV, UNDERCOVER, also goes here. Es is the warden, not a prisoner (unless you're theorizing), but they still get an MV (and a cover and audio drama -- more on that shortly) before the first trial. Watch it; it's a great song, gives you some quick insight into each of the prisoners, and has plenty of fuel to theorize about! Though, if you're going to get theorizing, I recommend coming back to tackle UNDERCOVER after you finish your first watch through of Trial 1. It's hard to follow when you don't know the other characters very well yet.

PART 2: TRIAL ONE

If you want a glimpse of each of the Trial 1 songs, you can look at the Song of the Prisoners - First Trial Trailer video. Then, you'll proceed to the first song of Trial One: Weakness by Haruka.

The MV is the main part of any trial. You watch the MV, you listen to the song, you read the lyrics. I strongly recommend watching it a few times to gather your thoughts. Then, you can either work on developing your own theory, or you can get straight to reading others'. Obviously I'm biased, but I like to think my theories are pretty good, so if you want to check them out, they're all on our page's Master List, linked here.

Each prisoner's CD comes with two other things as well: a cover and an audio drama. You can find both of them on music streaming services under the character's name (I just use spotify).

The cover is just their VA doing a cover of one of DECO*27's many other songs (DECO*27 is a very popular vocaloid producer). These covers have been called "just for fun," but you can definitely speculate as to why specific ones were chosen, and even some of the VAs have speculated that they aren't as detached from the actual content as DECO claims.

The audio dramas are interrogations between Es and the prisoner, set right before Es extracts the MV from their mind. They give great insight, and especially in the second trial, they can contain critical information. I usually use @onigiriico's translations because they're extremely fast and accurate, but @milgrammer also has great and detailed records, and I used theirs for the early first trial ones. I typically read these after I watch the MV, but you could also definitely listen to them first to better place yourself in Es's shoes.

You can vote every day when a character is up for trial. I already did a pretty extensive guide on voting, so I'll just link that here for you to read if you're interested.

But yeah, basically just go through that same process for all of those, then watch Jackalope's report on the end of the first trial! Then, go to trial 2.

PART THREE: TRIAL TWO

This one's ongoing, so this is the current one!

At the beginning of the second trial, I'd really REALLY recommend watching Jackalope's second trial commencement notice video. It's super important moving forward.

We did get some info before that video came out, though. Here's my theory/thought post going over it if you want more details.

But yeah, just go through the MVs/theories/audio dramas/covers as you did in trial one! Currently we just did Shidou and Mahiru, so their voting periods are currently available.

Hope this helped! If anything is still unclear, please DM/comment/send another ask so I can clarify!

[jerzwriter]

Countdown to 2023 - Day 1

First, am I the only one that is in total denial that we are just days away from 2023? Excuse me, but I'm still trying to figure out how it's not 2010... and here we are in 2023. One thing is true, my friends, time is swift, and while days may seem long, years go by in the blink of an eye. Please keep that in mind, always.

Day 1 - 3 writers or stories that made this year bright

Well, I'm so grateful to Dani for providing this directive: The number is just for fun; you are welcome to include more or less than the daily "guide" number. Because 3 just will not cut it.

I'm often hesitant to do these things because I absolutely hate leaving anyone feeling left out, but then I also lose the opportunity to celebrate some who have really been special to me. So, in that spirit, please understand that there is no way today's post, or those that follow, could ever completely capture everyone who has been an important part of my fandom experience this year. If we have interacted in any way, big or small, I see you, and you matter.

So, without further ado... here are my definitely more than 3 mentions for 2023.

@a-crepusculo My sweet, sweet friend. Your poetic writing, which often leaves me with the greatest case of imposter syndrome, is made more special for me because I know the beautiful soul that lies behind it. It's a reflection of you and who you are, and that reflection is beautiful. How happy I am whenever I see a notification that you've posted, and I know it's not something you can focus on now, but just know it's missed - and I hope you'll grace us with your work again. You're amazing.

@alwaysmychoices

Writing that is always absolutely captivating. I still am enthralled with watching Ethan and Charlie's relationship grow, unfurl, and grow again. You've made me dissolve into tears more times than I can count, and for this angst-lover, that is SUCH a GOOD thing! I'm so glad you're still sharing with us!

@genevievemd

How fortunate are we all to still have the love that is Gen and Ethan to look forward to? I'm serious. The fandom has dwindled for sure, but we are so lucky to still have cornerstones that remain - and you, my friend - are among them. I know it's been a bumpy ass year, but I'm so glad you're still here!

@jamespotterthefirst

I mean - the fics are incredible - but they're almost secondary at this point. I don't think I'd still be here if not for you this year. Thank you. Sincerely. But that doesn't mean your fics get to be ignored. The Allende family forever has my heart, and I find it hard to determine what I love more: Your heartwarming fics about them that leave me a puddle on the floor or your Ethan/Lilac smuts that leave puddles in other ways. 😂 I'm sitting here trying to pick one or two fics to highlight, to say this is what I remember most this year, and I can't because there are too many to name. I am so, so grateful for you, for your talent, and for still being willing to share it with us. Adjust that crown, baby, if you must - but never take it off!

@julia-highstorms

This year I fell in love with a new Choices story for the first time in a very, very long time. I'm now an official Wake the Dead stan. But, how sad that factors have led to the fandom being almost non-existent for new Choices stories. So, you can only imagine my excitement when I discovered Julia's incredible stories about Kiera and Eli. My only regret, I've already read them all! But I anxiously look forward to more.

@liaromancewriter

While I am a lover of all things angst, I am always so grateful for a soft spot to land after my heart is ripped to shreds. When I need that respite, I always know where to go, and that's to Mal. Though I have to admit, this year, she got me with a few angstier pieces too. You Weren't Meant for Me, and Reflections and Renewals come to mind. Our fandom may be growing ever smaller, but I'm so happy you're still here creating! 💕

@lilyoffandoms

I have to thank you for the lovely surprise fic where you brought your Merida and Ethan, Dani's Bryce and Olivia, and my crazy little Tobias & Casey together. I was just giddy, and I love that these three couples now have a shared moment in fandom history. I just wanted you to know how special that was to me! 💕

@lucy-268

Girl, what would I do without my favorite fellow Tobias stan and her incredible creation of Tobias and Samantha? You know how much I simply adore these two, and I love getting the backstories behind them. The original Tobias queen, I will always bow to you! 💕

@missameliep

Continuing on my reasons to be grateful for Wake the Dead, it also led to me being introduced to Dani's work and Dani as a person. Both of those things were highlights of my fandom experience in 2023. I simply adore her writing, her strong, beautiful MC Malia, and the special relationship she has with Troy. Safe is an absolute masterpiece, and the only reason I have not finished reading it yet is that I truly don't want it to end! I love your work, I've loved our conversations, and I'm so glad we've gotten to know each other better.

@storyofmychoices

This year, I had the pleasure of being introduced to Bryce and Olivia, and my heart will always be grateful! The only bad thing is time has yet to allow me to go back and follow this absolutely lovely duo right from the start. But I will, I assure you I will. This heartwarming duo is delightful on their own or when they're engaging with the little firecracker that is Keiki. I simply adore them all!

@trappedinfanfiction

My lovely "Tif". 😊 When I think of fandom joy this year, you immediately come to mind. I'm always so excited to see a notification from you and since I can't get enough of Ethan and Celia, I'm now happy to be going back to the past to find more. You're such an important part of the fandom, and you made 2023 infinitely better.

@potionsprefect

Another lovely cornerstone of our community. We can always count on you to bring Ethan love to us and, more importantly, bring the beautiful, spunky Victoria along with him (you know I'd pick her over him. lol) I know we say we'll be doing this together until we're in the old-folks home (though I'll be there LONG before you lol) and I hope we keep to that! The fandom wouldn't be the same without you!

A special shout-out to the newcomers who have joined the fandom this year. Some are new to Tumblr, and some are just new to creating, but they helped breathe new life and creativity, and I know I'm not alone in being so grateful for their presence here. @cariantha @mydemonsdrivealimo @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @openheartforeverinmyheart Thank you for being part of this craziness and bringing joy to my year - and I'm sure others.

I know they're not really here anymore, but that does not mean that they weren't appreciated this year, and if they check-in, I want them to know that they're thought of: @choiceskatie @lem-20 @bex-la-get

Honorable mentions to @alj4890 @ambraambrose @choicesfanaf @coffeeheartaddict2 @gutsfics @heauxplesslydevoted @headoverheelsforramsey @hopelessromantic1352 @inlocusmads @lsvdw-blog @parisa-kh @peonierose @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @takeharryandgo @takemyopenheart @the-pale-goddess @utterlyinevitable Each of you has helped keep our little crazy thing going despite the odds, and I hope you know you're appreciated!

I am confident I've forgotten people, and I'm even more confident I'll feel like shit about it, but trust me, as I said, if we've interacted in any way, you've made 2023 better!

@choicesfandomappreciation

[oneunexpected]

Hi, everybody! In case you missed it, I'm doing a chapter-by-chapter playlist for each book in the series in honor of @prophecyofgray's #TUC20 event. Sorry for getting this one out late, as I was gone this weekend and couldn't work on it.

Click here to check it out on Spotify, with my explanations for why I chose each song below! If you missed my playlist for Gregor the Overlander, check it out here.

1 - White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes - This is one of my favorite songs ever <3 It is a beautiful piece of music, but the lyrics are darker on a closer read — the kids are running through the snow wearing red scarves, and when one named Michael falls, he turns the snow “red as strawberries in the summertime;” some people take this to imply his head fell off a la the story of the “Red Ribbon Girl.” I don’t think it means Michael’s head fell off, personally. I think the narrator is just struck by how red his scarf is against the snow, or perhaps he is bleeding. But regardless, this is a song about loss of innocence that uses running through snow to convey that, and it’s often co-opted as a Christmas song (fuck pentatonix christmas music all my friends hate pentatonix christmas music). I felt it was a good fit for Gregor, who is the one who’s lost his innocence, and Boots, who is in this book Gregor’s Michael. And also just because this chapter also depicts an idyllic white winter scene where something more sinister is occurring if you look closer.

2 -  Oblivion by Grimes - Elon be damned, she had some bangers back in the day. This song is sonically dark and the lyrics are creepy and the chorus is “see you on a dark night” on repeat, and in this chapter Gregor’s on the run through dark tunnels from those that swore to hunt him for all time. It’s a good marriage.

3 - Sabotage - Angry chapter. Angry song. Gregor’s mad at the roaches and the Underlanders, Ares is mad at Gregor, they’re both angry at the world. Favorite lyric for the chapter: “I can’t stand rocking when I’m in this place / Because I feel disgraced / Because you’re all in my face.”

4 - Dark Days by the Punch Brothers - Your first track stolen from the Hunger Games soundtrack for this playlist! “Sister hide your love away / From the evil we both know … Our love will see us through these dark, dark days / Sister, ‘til it lights our way back home” makes for a good song for this chapter, where Gregor reads the Prophecy of Bane, understands what’s at stake, and decides to stay in the Underland to see it all through.

5 - Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division - This is the first chapter we get to see the ideological schism that runs straight through the heart of Vikus and Solovet’s relationship. Vikus is maybe my favorite character in the series in terms of I Like Him and Solovet’s maybe my favorite character in terms of I Want To Put Her Under A Microscope, so of course I’m fixated on their interaction over the other things in this chapter. They’re tearing apart by trying to reconcile their own outlooks on the world with their love for someone so different from themselves; this song was a natural choice.

6 - Glory and Gore by Lorde - Every line in this song reminds me of the Regalians. This chapter, we meet the Fount cousins, and that fits well with the edginess of this song which was written about belligerent teenagers. It’s also the chapter where Gregor hits the total. The red liquid in the balls disturbs Gregor, but for the Underlanders, it’s for “roughing up their minds so [they’re] ready when the kill time comes.” One of my favorite lyrics in this song is “no one ‘round here’s good at keeping their eyes closed.” That’s true for Stellovet and her non-Howard siblings, who see Luxa’s vulnerability re: Henry and weaponize, and it’s true for the other Regalians, who immediately spread word about what Gregor accomplishes, even though he’s disgusted with it.

7 - Somewhere Only We Know by Keane - This song is so sweet and lovely. It’s a little on the nose, because Ares appears out of nowhere and takes Gregor somewhere only they know, but it’s also about letting people into your heart, which is a sentiment I like for the two of them beginning to act more like proper bonds. The song is also a little wistful about times past, which pairs with the part of the chapter where Luxa, Aurora and Ares reflect on positive memories of Henry.

8 - Blackbird by the Beatles - Okay, I really wanted to use this for Ch. 15, but I became married to the idea of using a different song for it, so I’ve shoehorned it in. I don’t think it fits with the chapter well sound-wise, so sorry in advance. But this song reminds me of Twitchtip, who tried so hard her whole life to find a place in gnawer society. In terms of sound, it fits better with the second half of the chapter, when the survivors of the first quest have dinner together.

9 - Monty Got a Raw Deal by R.E.M. - Everyone’s getting a raw deal in this chapter. Gregor has his first echolocation lesson and he sucks. A grieving Nerissa implies Henry was on the right track in joining with the gnawers but admits he bungled it badly. Gregor finds out he has to kill the Bane all on his own. “Heroes don’t come easy,” the song says, and the song is right. Raw deals all around.

10 - Atlas by Coldplay - Honestly, kind of a filler song. I didn’t get much out of this chapter besides exposition for the quest. The verses are about things people desire: security, wealth, adventure, but the chorus is just “I’ll carry your world.” That’s Gregor: carrying the Underland for the Regalians’ own interests.

11 - Sail by AWOLNATION - ha ha get it they’re on a boat Really though, I chose this song not only because they’re sailing and because it’s a banger, but because it’s the chapter Ares teaches Gregor how to kill a rat, and he really can’t imagine doing it. “Maybe I’m a different breed / Maybe I’m not listening” reminded me of that.

12 - Bloom by Radiohead - This song kinda freaks me out. I once listened to it for three hours straight while writing a midterm. I like the syncopation and I thought it might fit well with Gregor’s fragmented perception while he’s raging, and because it’s a trippy track, it fits well with his little dream sequence, too. Its lyrics are about the ocean, too, so I obviously had to use it.

13 - Invisible by U2 - Okay listen I didn’t want to have to use a U2 song so early here. I was anticipating only using one this playlist. But here we are. Anyways, this song is about people outgrowing family members who have hurt them or left them a bad legacy. Howard denounces Stellovet’s behavior, and Gregor realizes Luxa joined the trip to prove she’s not like Henry.

14 - Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine - Never Let Me Go is about the struggle of finding the will to keep on living. I interpret the lyrics to reflect suicidal ideation about drowning in the ocean, so be mindful of that if you wanted to read the lyrics and you’re sensitive to that, but the chorus is this choral arrangement of voices repeating “Never let me go, never let me go,” reflecting that the narrator subconsciously wants to keep living. Although clearly describing different situations, I decided I wanted to pair this with the whirlpool chapter. Twitchtip has nearly accepted her fate, embracing “the arms of the ocean,” as Florence puts it, but when Gregor goes back for her, she begs him not to let go. I think it’s an emblematic moment for a character who wants, more than anything, not to be alone.

15 - I’ll Be Home for Christmas as recorded by Bing Crosby - There’s a lot of good stuff in this chapter. Also, Pandora is eaten alive in the end, but we’re ignoring that for now. I chose this song because it’s the chapter where Gregor thinks about what a wreck his parents must be, and he wonders if Christmas has already passed. This song was originally written from the perspective of an American soldier fighting in Europe during World War II, who knows he won’t make it back for Christmas. It’s all very sad. This whole chapter is pretty sad. That’s all I got.

16 - 10 dEAThbREsT by Bon Iver - When I first began these playlists, I just had a giant list of songs that reminded me of the series. This was one I had but I anticipated using it in a later book, probably during combat, or during some tense moment between Gregor and Luxa. I love this song. It’s off-putting, it’s compelling, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, and I have no idea why the title is stylized like that because nothing Bon Iver did after their self-titled album makes much sense. Anyways, I had NO clue what to use for this chapter. No song I know captures how disturbing Pandora’s death is. But I ended up with this one, because the edginess captures Ares’ struggle and Gregor’s fear for him sufficiently. This chapter is also an important moment of bonding for Gregor and Luxa — he imagines taking her to the Overland for the first time — and for Luxa and Howard, who grieve together and finally start acting like family. I know the tone doesn't fit well with the emotion of the last few pages of this chapter, but I'm hoping the outro of this extended version suffices. The lyrics seem to deal with trying to fight the notion that you love someone. Or something. It’s all pretty esoteric. I think those can only be stretched so far to apply to Gregor and Luxa/Luxa and Howard, but I like the lyric “I’m un-orphaned in our northern lights” a lot for Luxa. She is slowly building relationships again after all she’s lost in her parents and Henry.

17 - Music for Prague 1968, Movement I: Introduction and Fanfare by Karel Husa - “oneunexpected would NEVER make me listen to a programmatic work written for symphonic band!” ENGH! Wrong! I saw this in concert when I was 17 and I was deeply, deeply disturbed, which is the point. This first movement starts sooooo eerie and then gets SCARY which is absolutely perfect for the party knowing they’re sailing directly into a trap and then for when the serpents wake up. Enjoy!

18 - Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation - We break with our programming of stolen Hunger Games soundtrack songs to bring you a song stolen from the Twilight soundtrack. This song is chilly and the narrator is someone who has nothing left to lose and is ready to fight. It’s another song I expected to use later in the series, maybe for when Gregor and Solovet’s relationship deteriorates, but I ended up using it here because when Gregor thinks Boots is dead, he doesn’t grieve immediately — he says he feels like ice has encircled his heart, and for the first time, is resolute that he will go kill the Bane.

19 - Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and the Civil Wars - We break with our Twilight soundtrack programming to return to the Hunger Games. This is the chapter where Gregor and the others convince Howard to return with Mareth and Andromeda, but I chose it for the conversation Ares and Gregor have. Gregor gives one last chance for Ares to bail, and when he refuses, Gregor senses they’ll never have a conversation like that again. He remembers the moment they bonded in Regalia, which is what reminded me of this song. The lyrics go, “I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, ‘I’ll never let you go’ / When all those shadows almost killed your light / I remember you said, ‘Don’t leave me here alone’ / But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight.” The circumstances of their bonding are similar to those first three lines, but all of that fades away as Gregor realizes they’re truly bonded now.

20 - Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd - Sad song for a sad chapter, as Gregor and Ares reluctantly leave Twitchtip behind. Ares admits to Gregor that he doesn’t think it’s right that he’s still alive when Henry, Luxa and Aurora are gone. I mostly chose this song for Ares’ grief. The verse of this song reminds me a lot of Henry, and how Ares must view Henry, especially regarding the line, “Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in the cage?” 

21 - No Children by the Mountain Goats - YES! THE TUMBLR SONG FOR GOLDSHARD AND SNARE! “I HOPE YOU DIE! I HOPE WE BOTH DIE!”

22 - 13 (There Is a Light) by U2 - Okay I swear I didn’t want to use this song. As much as I love U2, I really don’t dig this song very much. It’s so long and meandering. But the lyrics are nice. The way I’ve been constructing these is I skim very quickly through the book and write a brief summary of each chapter and when that’s done, I assign songs to each. My note for this chapter was just “baby hitler conversation.” I ended up choosing this song for one of the verses, which goes, “I know the world is done / But you don’t have to be / I’ve got a question for the child in you before it leaves: / Are you tough enough to be kind? / Do you know your heart has its own mind? / Darkness gathers around the light / Hold on, hold on.” I really liked the fit there for Gregor in this chapter. Even after losing his baby sister, he doesn’t let the world harden him so much that he’s willing to kill a baby. He’s tough enough to be kind, he follows his heart, and he holds onto the light within himself. And that’s why he’s our protagonist.

23 - One Tree Hill by U2 - Last U2 song for this book I SWEAR. But this is a song I associate with Ripred sooooo strongly. It’s a song vaguely about the cost of protesting oppressive systems, and those who do so anyways, which is a good fit for our favorite old rat, but more than anything I chose it for the chorus, “He runs like a river runs to the sea.” Since this is also the chapter Gregor says goodbye to little Pearlpelt, I like the line, “I’ll see you again when the stars fall from the sky / And the moon has turned red over One Tree Hill,” which is probably about seeing someone again in the afterlife, but I think it also works in the context of Gregor and the Bane: the next times they meet, their whole worlds will have changed.

24 - Viva La Vida by Coldplay - Along with chapter 22, I struggled the most with giving a song to this chapter. I wasn’t sold on its usage here but it’s the best I could come up with. This is the one where Nerissa gets crowned, and I related her struggle to the line, “Oh, who would ever wanna be king,” and also the allusions to hearing voices and having some sort of prescience about your fate in the chorus. Also, this is the chapter where Ares and Gregor are thrown in the dungeon, which is a dramatic change in his treatment. Until this point, Gregor has been a messianic figure to the Regalians. As the song says, “One minute I held the key / Next the walls were closed on me.” Gregor’s experiencing a similar fall from grace.

25 - All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix - You can listen to any version of this song you’d like, whether that’s the Bob Dylan original or anything else you can find, but this is the most well-known version. My favorite is — you guessed it! — a U2 cover. The song depicts a conversation between two characters, a jester and a thief. The joker is looking for “someway out of here,” and is in general very cynical. The thief, on the other hand, says, “There are many among us who feel that life is just a joke / But you and I, we’ve been through that / And that is not our fate / So let us not talk falsely now / For the hour is getting late.” It reminds me a lot of Ares and Gregor’s conversation in the dungeon. Ares encourages Gregor to sell him out and save himself, but Gregor refuses. He settles instead on just telling the truth, which is ultimately what saves them.

26 - 42 by Coldplay - This song is moody and contemplative, which is a fine fit for the unraveling of the prophecy. It deals with the loss of loved ones, with its first verse going, “Those who are dead are not dead / They’re just living in my head.” This is the chapter where Gregor finally begins to grieve for Boots, only for him to find her alive, and there’s this great, energetic tonal shift in the song that leads to the repeated lines, “You thought you might be a ghost / You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close.” After finding Boots alive, Gregor is rejuvenated from the shell of himself — the ghost — he would have been otherwise.

27 - The Morning Fog by Kate Bush - A song about having a new lease on life after a close brush with death. It’s so upbeat, so cheerful, so Bootslike that I had to include it here. I love, love, love the lyrics, “D’you know what? / I love you better now.”

BONUS TRACK - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas as performed by Frank Sinatra - I wanted to make this the song for Ch. 27 originally, but I wanted to give you an out if you didn’t want to listen to more Christmas music. It’s the first time Gregor’s family gets to have a proper Christmas, full of gifts and decorations and genuine happiness, since Gregor’s dad disappeared. But it’s also a little bit melancholy. They slip the lines “through the years we all will be together / If the fates allow” in very casually, but it makes my heart ache a little. It is especially poignant for Gregor’s family, who have almost lost each other time after time. But the last line, “And have yourself a merry little Christmas now” is a good reflection of how Gregor’s family gets to live in the moment and genuinely enjoy the holiday that year.

[piethemoon]

In defense of Abby Clark

I've been watching 911 for 3 years now, but I've always kept to myself and haven't interacted with a lot of people from the fandom. This changed recently because of my excitement for canon bisexual Buck (and the very real chance of canon Buddie) and my for you page on Twitter is now full of tweets about 911. It made me realize how many people hate Abby, to the point of sometimes advising people on skipping season 1 entirely (which I don't get because why would you willingly miss an entire season, especially one that set most of the characters and their relationships with each other?).

I think it's totally fine to dislike her but sadly, some people seems to need to twist the reality in order to look good while doing it.

As of today, I have watched the entire first season again (and the first few episodes of season 2) and thought I'd question some stuff that are presented as facts to new fans :

She was abusive/toxic toward Buck:

Where ? Like, really guys.. Where ?

First of all, I think some people are turned off by the age gap. Nothing wrong with having your own preferences. But there's no reason to make it into something it's not. Nothing in the show even hint that Abby targets younger men. There's also no scene where she tries to use his age against him. When we can hear her thoughts about him, she's never thinking about him in a predatory way and while she does seems to be a bit self conscious about her age, that's it. It's not even an important part of the plot.

Also, you know. Relationships with a big age gap between two (or more) consenting adults aren't inherently harmful, especially when the characters are fictionnal. Buck is absolutely not "too young" to date her. He's an adult man who's considered adult enough by people around him to take decisions about people's lives every day.

Sure, the way she gets his number is very questionnable, but she tells him the truth very openly. I think it's one of the many times in the show where the characters are shown being unprofessional and we're supposed to suspend our beliefs about it.

Also, if you consider this preying on Buck, do you realize the amount of women he has preyed on by using his status as firefighters? We know he dated or had sex with women he saved before, which is pretty creepy when you keep in mind that it means they might feel like they owe him a date (or more). And yet we all know his intentions are absolutely not to manipulate them into anything. So why is it so difficult to also assume Abby's intentions were absolutely not to prey on him? She seems to be happy to see someone in their work field recognize her skills, and feel like she understands him. She seems to just wants to connect with him, whether you interpret it as a romantic interest from the beginning or not.

She went away to Dubling at a key point of their relationship :

That's because she's a well written character, who's personnality doesn't revolve around her romantic relationship! That's a good thing! She's a normal woman, who spend years taking care of her mom, pretty much on her own for the most part, and she not only watched her mom's state worsen, but she also watched her suffer and loose her sense of self. And it's so tragic that her mom dying is the only thing that can truly make her free. She seems to have given up many things (including a relationship) to care for her mom.

Obviously leaving to go to Dublin wasn't the best thing to do for her relationship but to be fair, she certainly seems adamant that she's going to come back. Also, I think it's good writing! This is a woman who's far more than her romantic relationship, who lost her mom and who's realizing she doesn't know herself. It's only natural that a person like her, with self respect and a lot of life experiences would understand the importance of some selfishness, especially because she's been selfless for so long. Her mom sacrificied many things and she doesn't want to do the same!

She ghosted Buck

Well, actually... She didn't? I actually remembered that too since it's often presented as fact by some fans but she seems to have broken up with him in a way that is obvious enough that (at least) Chimney realizes. I'm not saying it was well done, of course and she probably should have been a thousand times clearer but it does seems she tried to end things. We can't be a hundred percent sure of what was said between them so it's difficult to know if part of it isn't also Buck not having the experience of a serious relationship ending/being a little bit in denial. But interestingly, certain fans seems to think it's completely her responsability.

We can assume she might have been a bit careless with it, but again, I think it makes sense for her character, who cared for her mom & her job so much that maybe she's becoming a lot more selfish now.

But no matter what you think about it.. This is absolutely not the proof of a toxic or abuse relationship. It doesn't erase the actual happy moments they shared together, the way they both improved through that relationship and it's literally the only time she messed up in their relationship, that was obviously about to end anyway. And if you can forgive/understand Buck for cheating on Taylor.. Why can't you at least not rewrite their actual relationship?

She didn't trust Buck when he was accused of being a cheater:

Again, she's not written as one dimensional character who's existence only rely on her romantic interest. Sure, she trusts Buck (and she does end up believing him) but it's understandable that, while she's going through the first stage of grief, she might not have the patience or energy to listen to her boyfriend defend himself in the very public place where everyone saw him being accused of cheating on you. It was very brief and she wasn't even mean about it. Come on.

Athena hates her:

I see people making edits of out of context moments to try and say that Athena (and the others) always disliked Abby.

To be honest, that one feels a bit sexist. So because Athena is not jumping to hug her it means she hates her? Female characters (and real women) can be not super close without hating each other. Honestly, they both don't look like they really care about the other, and that's all. And that's really not a big deal.

And I think it's the same for the other characters. Bobby seems to respect her a lot and actually helps Buck improve his relationship with her. The other characters don't seems to care for Abby and it's not like they really interact with each other anyway.

Conclusion :

Basically, I wish people would just say they don't like her instead of using moral reasons to make themselves look good for disliking her. And I would also add.. I've seen some of those people says they want complex female characters. Are you sure this is what you want or do you just want female characters who are easily disposable when they're not needed for your favorite male character? (it's not a judgement, I just think people should be honest about that)

And personnally.. I kind of like her. She's always very tired and we don't necessarily see the best moments of her life but I think that's the point of her story in the show. And I'm so glad 911 gave us so many women who are in their 40s or older (Athena, Hen, Karen, Abby...) and who are living full and rich lives. It's so very refreshing and I love that they never tried to make Abby look younger. She has wrinkles! She never tried to convince herself or other people that she was young! It's not even something she really cares about!

And I do think that, as much as she messed up in the end, she was a very good influence for Buck, and it's pretty sad to deny that part of his story. Her age actually helped with that because her life experience means she wasn't too impressed with him and was able to stand her ground which I think Buck liked. She challenged him! It helped him see that he is able to have a serious relationship (which I hope will be used for Buddie hehe) It's pretty great imo and I'm glad she was a part of the show.

[linkstem]

Introject Ask Game!

1. What's your name and source?

I'm Blue from the The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords manga

2. What type of introject are you? (Fictive, factive, etc.)

I'm a fictive

3. How connected do you feel to your source?

All of it happened to me and stuff so like,,, really connected I guess. I think it really helped us as a system cause it can be interpreted as a really nice DID metaphor... Even though we had no idea we were a system when we read it

4. Do you have any exomemories? What's your favourite one?

I remember my whole sourcce but I dunno about a favorite,,,

5. What do you think of your source's fandom?

I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS

6. Do you have any sourcemates in your system?

Red, Green, and Vio!! There's some Zelda fictives from other games/aus I dunno if they count

7. Have you ever met any sourcemates outside your system?

We're friends with a BOTW Link and Zelda, and we know a Saria, we wanna meet more!

8. Have you ever posted/sent a sourcecall anywhere? Did it help you find sourcemates?

I never really felt the need to

9. What do you think are your biggest differences from/similarities to your source?

Uhh it's not really a difference cause I still did all that stuff but I kinda cringe looking back on our source cause I was really different when we first drew the Four Sword. I don't really know how to fight and stuff anymore too, so that kinda sucks

10. Do you like being compared to your source?

Yeah, I mean, that's me!!

11. What's your favourite thing about your source?

I guess the characters, feels kinda weird to call us that, but yeah! The five of us are my favorite thing about it, our interactions make us happy

12. What's your least favourite thing about your source?

FUCK THE GERUDO YOURE SO COOL BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO RACIST FOR JUST STOP BEING RACIST

13. Any funny exomemories?

This one time Green was playing with paper boats in the water and Shadow pushed him in so we all had to jump in after him and try to pull him out!!

14. Does your appearance differ from your source's appearance?

I have more dirty blondeish hair than my canon hair, and the side part is styled kinda different? And I wear blue earrings!

15. What other role, if any, do you have in the system?

We're still figuring all that out, I think I might be a caretaker though.

16. If you could go back to the life you had in your exomemories/source, would you?

HAHA FUCK NO I have a super cool boyfriend and extended found family now

Seriously though? I miss the castle and stuff, if I could take him and all my other friends with me I would totally go back, Hyrule beats this place any day

17. Does this universe differ at all from the one in your exomemories/source?

Yeah theres fucking weird new technology and sland i DONT understand and there's a SEVERE LACK OF COOL SWORDS AND HORSES AND SHIT

18. What's your favourite clothing item/ accessory that the system owns?

I like our blue scarf!

19. Do you have any merch of your source?

We have Toon Link and Toon Zelda plushies...

20. Do you ever get homesick? If yes, what do you do to deal with it?

Not reallyy, I mean its better but I dont really dwell on it, the people matter more than the place and I have all the people

21. What songs remind you of your source?

Those Hyrule Lofi things are cool

22. What activities/things remind you of your source?

Playing Breath of the Wild? That kinda feels like cheating though

23. Do you like engaging with your source/ content about it?

Yeah!! Everyones so funny and sometimes fan stuff helps me remember things I forgot

24. Have you ever created content related to your source? (Art, fanfiction, etc.)

Yeah, our host likes to draw so we make a lot of drawings and stuff, I like doing whiteboards with our friends. We also used to "roleplay" before we knew we were actually just plural

25. How do you feel about doubles?

I mean, there's already four of me so I'm kinda numb to it, I've met other Blue kinnies and stuff, they're cool!

[claudiajcregg]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by both @mihrsuri and @unseenacademic 💜💜💜 Thank you so much! I actually wrote up most of the answers the day I was tagged, and then forgot to post them. For over 10 days, probably. Me bad.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 23! (One of them is a 'collection' of short ficlets, and has 6 chapters. So 28 stories in 23 works so far. Probably about to be more stories in still 23 works.)

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 156,597 words. For now.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Just TWW. Who knows in the future!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

They have about 35% of my total kudos, but the first two are ~21% alone. (The first one is the only fic that has over 100 kudos. Then again, any of them getting above 30 is a miracle.)

maybe everything's just turning out how it should be (Big Block of Cheese 2008; CJ & Josh. Posted Feb 2021) [121]

say it's here where our pieces fall in place (Vignettes, 1998-2008. Posted Jan 2022.) [66]

just your smile lit a sixty-watt bulb in my house that was darkened for days (Thanksgiving 2006. Posted Dec 2022.) [55]

nobody knows how to get back home (Missing scene from ITSOTG. Posted April 2023) (wait what. top 4?!) [50]

we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it (B4A Campaign Fic, spring 1998. Posted May 2021) [47]

5. Do you respond to comments?

YES. I don't take them for granted, and I like interacting with my readers. Sharing is nerve-wracking and makes me feel so exposed, so any comment makes it worth it. I like to thank peeps for their time! As of late, it's taking me weeks to get back to comments for Brain/spoons reasons (and because I try to do so in order, though not always). I sometimes feel bad I have fallen behind on leaving my own comments, so replying to what I get makes me feel bad. I love getting the rare, long, thoughtful comments, because I love seeing what people pick up on (had to restrain myself from commenting on everything), so if that one's up next… It'll delay everything. I have a harder time letting go of those.

I know replying or not is a hot topic, and I fall on the side of 'whatever the author does is fine' (I see them as being voluntary gifts to the author, kinda, but I understand why some authors can't or won't reply! Especially those who get dozens.). It does feel weird(ly demoralizing) when you see that yours is one of a couple of comments they haven't replied to, though. (Selfishly, as someone who tries to write medium-long comments, lack of anything can sting. It's irrational, it's not what I'm after, but it'd be nice to know whether that hour plus of my time was worth it. It's not transactional and I hate that c4c idea or whatever. Just. weird feelings.)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

As we've established in previous similar memes (lol, I think I've answered these questions before), my fics don't really have angsty endings! For the most part. I think I said don't want you to go but I'll be okay then, and I can still buy that/definitely popped into my brain. I think some of my late S7 fics have an ominous feel to them, with some references/buildup to the angsty parts of IM, but I wouldn't call them angsty endings.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Um. The opposite is true! still you never took your hand from mine was my first thought, but I feel like oh, and I will be with you to feel the California sun is pretty darn happy. I could have picked almost any of them and I could make a case for them!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I luckily do not. I have gotten a couple of comments that have messed with my brain, and made me second-guess things, but they were not hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, but not regularly and not that well. It's usually short, mild scenes at most, but I did challenge myself to write a more explicit one last summer, especially after I got those 'one bed' tropes in the Wheel but didn't go there in the 500-word limit. Streets say it's hot. IDK. I also wrote a smutty continuation to the exchange fic. Best if we forget parts of that one happened. I also started writing one that would be in my S5 pregnancy universe but 🤐

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't. But this question confirms to me I have answered this before because I know I've joked about how TV has already done that for me, lmao. See: Bones/Sleepy Hollow.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? (I had to track down this question because it wasn't anywhere.) I don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I'm having déjà vu here. I know I have answered this before: I could do it myself! But I have a feeling it wouldn't be as easy as one might think, but I'd be honored.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't think so…? If I have, it was years ago, in my forum/LJ days. I've been trying to make it happen for a while now, but who knows if it'll ever happen. WE HAVE IDEAS. We want to make it happen. (Wink wink, nudge nudge. You know who.)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Spaceships are so cool. Atlantis was the first space shuttle I saw in person (and also the one I've seen the most) and it and its exhibit are awesome. I'm only missing Discovery out of the four space shuttles, because I didn't go to the second National Air and Space Museum location in Virginia back in 2015. And once the new exhibit center is completed, I'd love to see Endeavour again.

(In all seriousness, I don't have one. Booth and Brennan will forever and always hold a special place in my heart, but I love CJ and Danny so much, writing for them, their journey. Pls don't make me pick.)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am a big 'never say never' person, because I end up picking stuff up (and maybe rewriting it to fit my current style/ability) if I remember an idea… But I'm guessing many of them won't get finished. Probably some of those that are deep in my notes app or on the drive.

16. What are your writing strengths? I (try to) dig into the emotion of a scene as best as I can.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else? I know it sounds like an excuse (at least to my ears), but writing in your second language is hard. I know my writing sounds limited because of it – my descriptions will never be as evocative as I wish they were, my dialogue won't be there. I am not the most imaginative person, either.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it makes sense, and won't take the reader out of the story, go for it! (A few words, or a line or two, might work if there's appropriate context.)

But also, as a non-native speaker, I'll always recommend using pals who might be fluent in that language and checking with them! I know that, throughout my many years in fandom, I've read quick things in Spanish within English fics that weren't entirely correct in the context they were being used (i.e. character's fluency, smaller details), and they took me out for a second. (I know, I know – pot, meet kettle. If anyone has read an unedited story of mine, they've found me making up English phrases.)

19. First fandom you wrote for? Bones. In Spanish. (I also think I wrote some ficlets in English that are probably hidden in some random LJ comm I created for my writing. They're probably 14-15 years old.)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I honestly cannot pick! And maybe it's yet to come. But basically, if I've gone through the embarrassment of having someone edit/beta a fic and catch all the avoidable mistakes, it's because it genuinely has something I like about it and that I think others will like, too. (Perceived quality aside.)

Off the top of my head, and out of the posted fics (obvious recency bias, sorry). I have a story for all 23… Also, let's consider I've mostly not read them since they were posted so I might be off. (Would love to hear what everyone's favorite is, if you've read any and are reading this!) Obviously, that top 5 by kudos has great ones. There's a reason

don't want you to go but I'll be okay: I just remember finishing it and knowing it was something special. Felt like many things coming together. I wanted to write angstier, a break from the endgame of the IM AU I've yet to post, and I think it works. I had had that quote as inspo for a while, and I think the trip to Berlin put it back on my mind. (The first haunted by the notion draft is from around this time, too!)

your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep: the structure is likely a tad repetitive, maybe (but also, the point of 3+1s, sort of?) but I love writing in that s7 period, and there should be more fic with the press corps. I think the stuff I wrote while editing (which included an overhaul of the +1) is even better than what was there.

oh, and I will be with you to feel the California sun: recency bias, yes. I love a good early Cali story, and even if this was nowhere the story I sat down to write originally, I love how it turned out. It's silly but fun, and so sunny.

still you never took your hand from mine: I will always have all the soft spots for my memoir stories, even if two of them have yet to be posted. This one doubled its size a year and a half after “finishing” it because I realized what it was missing. It's sappy, probably unrealistic re: the publishing industry, but damn it if it's not one of those that have made me cry while editing them.

we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it: I had to include an oldie but goodie from my first year, and this one is so special to me. (Along with BBC 2008, which I also absolutely adore. That was the fic I always wanted to post. Hilarious it was third. But it's also my most popular fic by a huge margin.) Seeing it recommended on Tumblr? God. I love campaign stories and all their potential. I love that I took a random line from some unposted story and it evolved into this fic.

nobody knows how to get back home: I almost added the most recent one because of how fun it was to write (or, as I mentioned above, Big Block of Cheese) but I like how bittersweet this missing scene one is. I find CJ's internal struggle so interesting to explore, and this is one of her most vulnerable moments. I also wanted to see a hug so badly.

[rinhaler]

The anon who just found out u were fuwushiguro here!!

Yes I absolutely understand the frustration from not performing as well with follower count to likes ratio - as an artist who used to be quite popular and likes went from thousands to only like seventy. At some point you feel like you’re not doing it for you, but actually for others. I’m happy you realised the happiness can come from writing and not only hate.

The friend who left you I can also relate to a bit, my ex best friend of 6 years also left me quite recently and it was like there was an empty hole in me because even if you’re not friends anymore, your brain can’t quite handle the change. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but the greatest challenge is to not only hold yourself to one person but to be open and try new possibilities, and that’s what you’ve seemed to done! You have new friends, new mental attitude, and a brand new beautiful blog (that I love the theme of btw!!!) You’re doing great and will continue to do so, because if there are 100 rinhaler fans I’m one of them, if there are 10 rinhaler fans I’m one of them and if there are none, I’m dead.

Also to the question you had, idk it’s just the way you describe certain things..? It’s hard to explain, I have about 50 fanfic blogs that I really love the writing of and fuwushiguro was one of them. Your world building, character description as well as development, SO GOOD!! And your wusyaname series was amazing, I used to check your blog religiously for any updates, and I’m happy you’re reuploading them here bc now I’m gonna reread them every week!

Also the way you wrote yuuji in the aita!sukuna fic was extremely similar to the first few chapters in wusyaname before he goes on that trip (if I remember right)

Have a great day/night :D

omg ARTIST AAAAAA im obsessed I'd love to see your stuff if you ever feel comfortable sharing with me sometime but no pressure ofc! I know it's very personal! ive been trying to get more into art but im finding it hard to balance practicing art stuff and writing. I also have massive art insecurity bc I don't think I'm good enough (same with my writing) so I totally understand if u wanna keep it all to yourself but go you for being a talented babe <3

interactions on tumblr suck and I'm starting to be able to tell myself it's purely luck what performs well and what doesn't, so I'm finding it a lot easier to write things I actually want to write now rather than what I think my followers will like.

Also yeah in regard to my friend, we were online friends and we'd only known each other for around two years but god i adored her and i still do tbh. I think about her and our memories all of the time we were so so close so her decision to just randomly cut me off really hurt. I'd love to talk to her again but I know I have to respect her decision and I wish her the best!

It's been a good opportunity to get back into writing so at least something nice has come from something so sad. And I love this little space so much! I'm glad you like my theme! It was greenish at first n i was like nope this aint the one i am a pink girl through and through!

ALSO AAAA THE WAY IM BLUSHING ABT AITA YUUJI BEING LIKE WUSYANAME YUUJI UR SO RIGHT 😩 definitely not intentional but god maybe i missed him more than i thought! I'm so excited to be reposting it though it's going to be like living through the magic of it all again and hearing what everyone thinks and stuff! I haven't read it in so long so I feel like I'm right there with you all hehehe

anyway thank you for supporting me always ur literally the best i adore u pls take care of urself mwah mwah mwah

[thatswhyweplay]

WELCOME TO THAT'S WHY WE PLAY

first and foremost this is a stranger things role play server with strong dungeons and dragons formatting. this will always be a safe space for anyone who enters; knights of the round beware.

SERVER BASICS

✑┇ This server is 18+ with a rating of 3 - 1 - 3 [ THIS IS A RPG RATING ] || Stranger Things is a show about kids dealing with incredibly traumatic situations, we will be continuing that trend and not stopping at the kids. The adults and teenagers are getting it too. There are several instances of internalized and external homophobia that we touch on as it is the 80s. Please be aware of these heavy AND dark topics when applying!

✑┇ There will be no sexual content in this server. Mentions of it are perfectly fine and sometimes critical moments for characters, all implied scenes must fade to black.

✑┇ This is a semi-literate / literate server and we expect all the fixings on this one. We try for [2-3] paragraphs // 200-300 words // [15] sentences. But we also know mobile is a prison, the brain cell isn't always juicy, and the muse is fickle.

✑┇ We expect basic role play etiquette and grammar, but also understand, again, writing on mobile is true prison.

✑┇ One liners are allowed in [SHORT COMMUNICATIONS] and [CRACK]. Crack being non canon and wiped every 24hrs [roughly].

✑┇ We run on a three strike policy, which you will be aware of. If you are deemed unfit by the admin team however, they can bypass these three strikes.

✑┇ Abuse of tone tags is an INSTANT ban for us, 100 percent non-negotiable to the staff to use tools like that maliciously. Some of our members and admins need help clarifying tone and may approach you.

✑┇ If you have issues with anyone in the server please approach and Admin to handle it. If it is an admin you are having issues with, please approach an admin you're comfortable with but know it will be brought to the group table to be handled. We implore you to talk about things yourself but we are a community and we will deal with things together. If you cannot approach an admin about this, then I think leaving the server is the only way to go. This is OUR space and if the issue is with us, then we'll kindly ask you to find somewhere else.

✑┇ We will never prioritize a NEW member over an EXISTING member. If you have an issue with a person coming in please let us know. We will handle the situation as we see fit.

admins have the right to remove anyone from the server for any given reason at anytime.

ACTIVITY

✑┇ We treat role play like a hobby like DND, not a job, but please remember that hobbies do take time and energy much like a DND group. You will be subjected to [72]hr timers during any event. Personal threads are self paced but we rotate Vols every [3] months with [2] Vols active at a time. So you have [6] months for any given thread to be completed.

✑┇ Be considerate of your fellow writers. All of us here want to write and enjoy this hobby with you but if this hobby is too taxing to do on a regular basis this is not the server for you. Activity is incredibly important to balanced storytelling.

✑┇ Activity Checks are every month; they will be posted a week before they're due so they may loom over you for a week [ and give you a chance to post! ].

✑┇ CANON CHARACTERS will be required to have [3] posts per month or [6] completed short communications.

✑┇ ORIGINAL CHARACTERS will be required to have [2] posts per month or [4] completed short communications.

✑┇ HIATUSES are the only thing that can protect you from an Activity check, and you must be gone more than HALF the month [usually 15 total days] to receive a pass unless discussed with an admin. You get [1] pass every [3] months. Hiatuses must be posted in #✑┇hiatuses to alert the admins.

✑┇ During a hiatuses a we will be skipping you during an event. Being on hiatus will result in your character missing out on interaction during an event but allows the rest of the party to continue on without consequence to any.

✑┇ You are responsible for plotting out and making sure your character is active. If we notice you are only posting right toward the end of the activity check we may consult you about your activity. If we notice you struggling with a character and keeping them active we will approach you. Our first goal will be to open a dialogue to seek a solution, but we will not hesitate to recommend dropping a character.

COMMUNICATION

✑┇ You are more than welcome to stay and be part of our community and take an Observer role. Observers are only pinged when characters become available, community events, and any major announcements.

✑┇ Our server is heavily based on clear communication. So please ask ✑┇questions , please challenge your DM in events, there is no such thing as over communication. Share your secrets with other party members at your own discretion. Plan, plot, foil, and talk to each other!

✑┇ No Ghosting: if you do not respond to an admin's pulse check, you will be removed from the server, this is no longer an acceptable offense. If you cannot take the time out of your day to communicate this is not the server for you.

✑┇ Getting Skipped: if you do not ask for a extension on an event you will be given a strike. Event threads require posts once tagged within 72 hours. Three skips and we will take your character from you.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

✑┇ The server takes place AFTER season 4 of Stranger Things. Currently 2 months after the original earthquake. Hawkins, Indiana has been destroyed in a molten lava phenomenon and the current setting is a Bunker in Indianapolis, Indiana.

✑┇ ✑┇story-so-far is a summary of events that have PASSED.

✑┇ Everyone starts with TWO character slots. You can buy character slots in our shop to gain more slots. Your first character MUST complete at least one thread before picking up a second.

✑┇ Character restrictions include: Hawkins 18 members cannot be in the first slot. You cannot have a member of a similar group. [Young Adults, The Party, Adults, etc]. OCs are exempt to this.

✑┇ It is required when making an OC to first pass the character idea by the ADMINS in ✎┇character-creation . We have to make sure that the character fits into the world and the circumstances of being run away, supernatural fighters hiding from the U.S government!

✑┇ We love OCs! But please make sure to think about how they’ll fit in the world and how they would find their way in the Stranger Things world. [ What did they do when everything was normal? How did they react to things when everything changed? Where were they when the Earthquake hit? What are they doing after? ]

✑┇ OCs cannot be relatives of the canon cast and cannot be connected to them. That’s not to say they can’t make friends and connections once you’ve joined. OCs must stand on their own.

✑┇ MASTERLIST and ✎┇character-overview will give you a quick look at the current characters we have on the server!

✑┇ If you have issue with ships, shipping, or ship related drama and cannot co-exist among others we will be asking you to leave. This server is not at all focused on shipping but the story telling and development of characters. This does not mean shipping is not allowed but we will not tolerate any drama caused by it. We've had the most problems with HellCheer and Steddie, so if these ships make you uncomfortable we ask you to leave now. All ships are welcome here and are up to the writers to decide who their characters end up with.

✑┇ Please submit a google doc for your application in the form of our server template. This is specifically catered to our current setting! ✎┇character-sheets has all the information you’re gonna need to make your app! Please don’t be intimidated by it, you don’t need to know about dungeons and dragons to write here and everyone here can help you!

✑┇ All characters must have a model/celebrity face claim. We do not accept art / pic-crews as face claims, ai art, or duplicate face claims.

✑┇ We also do not accept characters of other horror or any other re-skinned genre media to be played as regular characters in the STU. [ex. The IT cast / Nancy Drew / Dead by Daylight. ]

✑┇ For the sake of my own sanity, [16] is the youngest a character can be. All canon characters are aged up to [16]. Erica being the only exception to which we will let her be [14] and the YOUNGEST character that can be played on this server. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME, they’re just sixteen going on seventeen now.

✑┇Posting your app in ✎┇submissions and we will be in contact with you soon!

updated 7/01/2024

[selfindulgenttiger]

Childhood Clues

I was discussing with someone today the fact that, to be diagnosed with autism as an adult, you have to have shown signs in early childhood. Depending who you ask, that's before age 6, age 8, age 11, or age 18. With so many people (women most often) being diagnosed as adults, some people are questioning the frequency of diagnosis. (Untreated C-PTSD and PTSD symptoms can manifest very similarly to autism.) That started me reflecting on my own childhood behavior and what clues were missed or dismissed. I wanted to catalogue them (because I'm autistic and that's what we do with information). This is stuff from early childhood to pre-teen years. Category A: Deficits in social communication and social interaction

This area of the diagnostic criteria is the hardest for me to judge, because you don't really see your own deficits in this area. If you don't understand what the social rules are, you don't see how you are breaking them. What I can say is that I never made friends easily, and I wasn't particularly bothered by that until I was old enough to realize I was perceived as weird because of it. From second through fourth grade, I don't remember having a friend. I typically spent recess walking in a circle around my favorite tree, which I enjoyed. I was the outsider everywhere. I didn't make friends in Brownies, I didn't make friends in my performing arts classes, I was even "the weird kid" among the gifted kids. Another part of this is your nonverbal communication. There are literally dozens of photos of me with a flat affect from early childhood. Smiling never came naturally to my face. And I assume there was something off about my eye contact and general manners, because I remember my dad explicitly teaching me to make eye contact, smile, use people's names, and express warmth. (He had read it in a book, so obviously this was novel information to Dad, too, that he felt compelled to share.)

Category B: Repetitive behaviors and restricted interests.

This? Not so hard to spot. I knew I was different in this way. I just didn't understand that it meant something. The first point is basically stimming. Where to begin? Lifelong constant knuckle-cracking. Nail, cuticle, and lip biting till I'd bleed. Knee-bouncing. Echolalia in the form of this high-pitched screech sound I enjoyed making, and singing the same songs again and again and again and again. (I still sing them when I'm really stressed.) My interests were definitely what they mean by "restricted interests" which is basically what we'd call "obsessed" in the lay vernacular. Like I became obsessed with mice from around 7-12. I accumulated 41 mouse stuffed toys that I did not play with but arranged in a tableau. I wanted pet mice, even though they're very short-lived compared to other pets and I'd have total meltdowns when one died. I would talk my parents into getting me another and tell them I'd be able to handle it this time, but I never could. (I also collected Weebles, Barbies, Smurfs, and Cabbage Patch Kids, but no other stuffed animals. Most kids have a mixture of different stuffed animals, but I only wanted mice. I didn't actually really play with the other toys either. I just liked having collections and creating tableaux.) Star Trek was such a fixation from elementary school on. Every year they'd have a 3-day Labor Day weekend marathon on one of our local stations. I would try to stay up for all three days. One year, on day three, I yanked the phone out of the wall for having the temerity to keep ringing during a favorite episode. I had all 79 episode titles and descriptions memorized. I sneakily studied my uncle's copy of the technical manual for the Enterprise, even though he didn't want me touching it because it was collectible. One of the greatest disappointments of my young life was not convincing my parents to take me to the convention. I never played soccer or particularly liked soccer, but I went to all the Strikers games with my dad. He would buy me a program and I would memorize the roster of every team. Then when he'd say "great play by number 12" I would tell him all that person's stats. I didn't love the game, but boy, did I love the stats.

Another thing that falls under this category is sensory sensitivities. I had the stereotypical autistic girl hypersensitivity issues (which for the record are screaming when your hair gets brushed, rejecting blue jeans and socks because of the seams, and complaining about the sound of electricity in the walls or bugs walking). But I also have my own oddball ones, like rejecting shoes. I had to have the tips of three toes reattached before age 10 because I wouldn't even wear shoes when riding a bike or walking outdoors. My poor parents had to take me to the ER so many times. (I still cannot bring myself to keep my shoes on any more than is strictly necessary.)

I also rejected any clothing that was textured (so no corduroy in the 70s) or had heavy seams (no jeans even at the height of the Gloria Vanderbilt trend). I would steal my dad's work shirts because they were smooth. For several years, I went to school in scrubs I got at a yard sale. (Scrubs. In middle school. You can guess how that went.) And finally, of course, the overstimulation issue. I had a meltdown and ended up fighting with my mom or crying at every holiday gathering ever. I ran away from my own 10th birthday party and hid for half an hour because my grandmother was going to give me a kiss. My mother loathed taking me on vacation because I invariably got super excited and then overstimulated and then had a meltdown. By the time I was a teenager, she swore she'd never take me again.

When I look back, yeah, it was very clearly there but no one knew what it was. I just seemed like an unruly, melodramatic, weird kid. (And maybe not all the weird in my family.)

[first-impressions-gaming]

Greedfall

Developed by Spiders

Published by Focus Home Interactive

Release Date 2019

Tested on Xbox Series X (The game received Series and PS5 upgrade in 2021)

MSRP 34,99 USD

Surely you have played a game that put you in the role of ‘we put all our faith in you, as the main character, please don’t let us down’ before, you may say ‘doesn’t every game do that in a way?’, well Greedfall does it in a more straightforward way compared to what I am used to in other games. For example, as the main character you could be selected randomly as the saviour/hero in The Outer Worlds, or you can be this great commander with precise leadership skills with diplomacy and combat in Mass Effect series, the list goes on and on. In Greedfall, the story is set very precisely before you, you are a child of a wealthy family who is being sent to this recently-discovered and colonized island, Teer Fradee as a diplomat who is tasked to find a cure for the plague that has spread over your hometown and killed dozens of people so far in this 19th century central America setting. The people you interact with claim that there is rumour of cure in the island and natives might be acknowledged of it. This is the main focus so far, on top of this, you are required to keep the balance between multiple nations as a diplomat and interact them as main or side quests.

I would like to present my review in two sections, the reason behind this is the fact that the opening sequence lasts around 3 hours. Right at the beginning we are in our hometown island where a lethal plague, called malichor by locals, has spread and no cure has been found ever since. Before sailing away to the said island, we go through side missions. These side missions include finding a missing crew member of the ship that takes us to the island, looking for a young man who went missing last night after heavily drinking and partying in a tavern nearby, unveiling a pseudo-scientist’s fake potions. During all these quests I never said ‘ugh, let me play the actual game in this promised island, what are these missions?’, you get to know the world we’re in during these quests via interactions and it helps us understand why we are here, why we are going to this island unknown to us personally. This opening sequence might have bored some players because only one third of total players reached the island, Teer Fradee, meaning that around 70% of players did not even get to the point of playing main missions there (according to Xbox achievements). Not every player is ready to sink in at least 2 hours in an opening to be honest, when you ask a player to complete these set side quests before getting into the this mentioned island, you should make sure quests don’t take that long and they are engaging and setting groundwork for the island. Well, this opening could a hit and miss for some, for example our hometown is not that big and you will be running back and forth during quests and after an hour, it gets a bit repetitive and boring, the silver lining could have been a backstory or memorable NPCs at least. The focus is on plague, and there are corpses casually lying around, therefore I expected NPCs or side characters talk about their experience throughout this time, but the subject they talk about don’t really get into this plague at all. I mean, we just passed a corpse there, shouldn’t we give it a thought and point the elephant in the room? People are getting sick, getting worse, slowly dying, almost decaying and rotting, at least this is what we see when we interact with our mother, who looks almost hopeless and beyond repair. When a game takes a plague, virus or some sort of pandemic into the centre and build the story around it, naturally I anticipate memorable dialogue with the characters I come across. Instead of engaging moments, we chit-chat in a casual way and get on with it. In retrospect, this opening sequence feels like should have been shorter now that I played the game ‘on island’ and think that the opening does not inherently connect itself to our experience on Teer Fradee. When you set foot on the island, your character does not mention the hometown at all, at this point you see what you have done up to that point are not going to carry over, it is as if the developers built the game on Teer Frade, then added this opening as an introduction to the world but didn’t establish them on mutual ground.

Budget of a game greatly impacts its development scope and time-window, I totally agree on that, still Greedfall really lacks variety in terms of interior designs, that I view as unacceptable at this point. Basically there are two interior designs when it comes to apartments and bigger spaces such as governmental buildings. Regardless of being in your hometown, Serene, or in Teer Fradee, interior designs are completely and 100% same layout and size-wise. You enter and apparently the living room welcomes you, you take the stairs to the above room, and here is bedroom. This is the complete house, is this really the final product or some draft version? It is extremely small and feels unnatural, who would design an apartment such as this? Even the stairs located in a weird way as if the rooms were created separately and put together on top of one another in the end. What sticks out the most is that, the first time you step into an apartment is where you investigate whereabouts of the missing crew member, and at the second floor the lady of the house boasts how wealthy they are. From the looks of size of this apartment, I am not convinced you are that rich, or you have a horrible taste in apartment designs. Whose living room is located right in front of the door? And it is so small that it looks like a cube with some tables, paintings and decorations added.

Here is the clip for small building interior design:

As for bigger places, a huge entrance welcomes you, at the end of the corridor you take stairs to the above floor which also has a massive empty open space, and you find the person to interact at the end of the room. Sadly, this is just a ‘bigger’ version of the apartment design, it is huge for sake of being huge, it does not create any sense of excitement or familiarity with it. Throughout your entire playtime, you will come across these two interior designs over and over again, I really wish the team had put more effort and energy into interior designs, because environmental design look cool and fresh, you can clearly see developers aspired to build an island, yet my appetite for interior designs isn’t satisfied at all. When I entered a location, I just wanted to interact with the required NPC and leave the place as soon as possible, I couldn’t stand with these terrible designs with bad taste, you cannot just simply stretch a location and have a huge corridor and put stairs randomly. This is not…a normal building, the humankind has never built or designed a building even closely resembling to this, ever. 

Here is the clip for bigger spaces’ interior design:

The first cutscene cuts into the character customization screen, and there is a huge mistake here, and I am surprised, even shocked, to see that developers did not ‘fix’ this, am I the first person to report on this? The cutscene starts, a painter is drawing a person (this is us) and the person sitting on the stool is shown, then customization screen comes up, the ideal way would have been letting the player customise the character, then playing the cutscene. In this way the player would have felt like they are the main character here, not the pre-rendered male one. This looks amateurish to me.

The game presents you three playstyles, one firearms-focused, magic-focused and melee-focused, and accordingly the game recommends you to upgrade associated skills for the class you pick, at first the skill trees might confuse you a bit, because there are three separate skill trees, one for main classes, and the other two are extensions related to main class skills. You earn upgrade point each time you level up for main skill tree, and you earn upgrade points every other three levels for the other two skill trees. The thing is that, the game openly recommends you which skill or ability to unlock and upgrade, but it does not work like that actually, for example I picked magic-based class and I was upgrading the related skills, I learned and saw that I cannot do everything I wanted to do with these recommended skills. For example the game employs firearms, and you cannot use them if you don’t unlock the main skill, then I spend my points there, upgrade and improve it, even though the game presents three classes, you end up unlocking each ability and use them altogether, which eliminates classes in itself, my character is mainly using magic with a melee weapon as a second weapon and I use firearms when I am close to enemies. Of course, even when you unlock the main ability to equip firearms, there are certain weapons which will require to upgrade ability to use them. I am magic-based character, but I cannot equip magical rings unless I upgrade my skills. This skill trees and leveling them up seem a bit…complicated to me honestly, and this can be seen in the clips below, in the first one my character cannot jump because I need to upgrade to “vigor 2”. Am I really required to upgrade my skills to simply…jump? I accept that some skills or abilities locked behind abilities and the player should progress and achieve them over time, but we are talking about ‘jumping’ here, jumping is not something to be locked behind a skill. Same thing happened later in the game, and this one is even worse, where I thought I reached the main quest location to interact with somebody, but I couldn’t get across there, the game said I needed to upgrade my skill. It is frustrating to see the NPC right there but not being able to reach him! I had to take an alternative route to get to him which lasted around 7 minutes. I am asking this: should a developer be heavily invested in skill trees so much that it is creating roadblocks in front of the player? The answer is No. Just no. The player should feel to be encouraged to progress and improve his/her character, not blocked like that, for no rationale behind it.

I’d like to talk about the world-building a bit. So, the game tells us that this a recently discovered island, and there are natives living, and it is being still colonized by Americans. I came across a collectible, a letter, in the game and the letter mentioned that the island got discovered 5 years ago. At that moment I thought ‘wait a second, 5 years ago?’ the reason why I got shocked is that Americans built entire villages, roads, and cities throughout the island, and there is no way, it is impossible to build them in mere 5 years. This isn’t even believable one bit, I can safely say and claim that the cities and everything inbetween is at least half a century-old. First, nothing in this game looks fresh or new, buildings and towns look established and they are already old, there are numerous ruins in rural areas, there is no way to build these small castles near forests and leave them to rot in such a short time. If I disregard this detail, I would say I like world-building, you will visit different towns and cities though you would not find there much to optionally interact with anything or anybody. It is more like interacting with main quest NPCs and leave the town. 

The NPCs might glitch time to time, from the looks of her, this lady is arguing with somebody invisible and still able to interact with us:

The game offers a fresh take on travelling from city to city, this is not an fully open-world game, meaning that you will fast-travel to areas when you would like to visit a city. You will come the edge of an invisible wall of the area you are in, and you will ‘travel’ and it will show you how long the journey will take, in the next screen you are able to buy or sell gear to the merchant, interact with your companions, and pick and remove from your current team, then continue your journey to the selected location. At first I was excited to see a game making use of time travel, and only one main quest makes use of time in game actually, other than that quest, I don’t see the point of time travel existing in this game. The quest in hand about a merchant who is being bullied by gangs and the merchant had to keep paying money for them otherwise it would have dire results for him, the merchant says ‘the gang will come back in 2 days, visit me then, and you will catch them’, during this game I was busy with other quests, and returned to the merchant in 48 hours, as he said the gang came back to bully him more, and we caught them there. Apart from this, you will not deal with game time at all, rendering it useless, a gimmick at best.

There is always a clever to keep the player’s attention hooked, and if you don’t succeed at this the quests will feel shallow, dull and void of meaning. Greedfall presents main and side quests in one of the worst ways I have ever seen. As you can see in the clip below, the quests don’t have any detail about the on-going mission, it is just ‘go there, do that, interact with this person’, if you stopped playing Greedfall and picked up a week later, you would totally fail to recollect what these quests were about. An on-going quest with different chapters or task within it should display a brief story of the quest from beginning, or show you the previous completed tasks. Due to this reason, I could not get into the quests that much, it always directs you to go somewhere and do something, the story does not help you that much because you are always this ‘I came here as a diplomat, please don’t bring me into your mess, but okay, whatever, I don’t have a choice’ type of person, what we do on this island is somewhat depends on other people and we are not making a difference here, I kept asking this ‘why are we sent here, on this island, do we have something unique to find the cure, why can’t anybody else do that?’, honestly I don’t have any idea what qualifies us as the person to find the cure to this plague.

In side quests you will see the top two quests, which require you to set up camps in each region and find a professor’s notes. Okay, this is not intuitive at all, as a player I dislike this approach because it is not creating an enjoyable experience for me. Throughout my playtime I casually and spontaneously set up camps in regions I explored, but I never got to find notes for the professor, what’s worse is that the game does not hint you where you can find them. Should I just pray and find them on my own in this gigantic world? Where should I even start to look for them? This is the way how you should not introduce players to side quests. 

As I talked about in previous paragraphs, you will equip magic, melee weapons and firearms. The combat is satisfying and pleasant enough. In addition to real-time combat, you have the option to freeze the game and cast spells, use potions and fire your pistol, with this way you don’t feel the necessity to assign all of your potions and abilities as shortcuts. 

With everything considered, the question has to be asked ‘I put 14 hours into this game, am I closer to finding the cure than I was at the beginning?’, it is appalling to recognise the story did not progress that much at all, for this reason I don’t see any point to continue the game, if the main goal of this journey is the cure and bring it back home, then why am I not seeing any progress on that despite 14-hour playtime? 

Greedfall offers an average RPG experience with shortcomings with decent combat, it is not the whole package you might dream of, it is still unique in its own approach and treatment of character customization, world-building and narration.

[krawkpaladin]

Winning the Peace Dev Diary #2 - Characters and Communities (Pt 1.)

Another week, another dev diary! This one probably won't be as long though, as I spent a lot of time this week being distracted by the new Total War game.

Anyways: Representatives and Communities!

Representatives are our direct player characters, that is to say the way in which the players exercise agency in Winning the Peace by voting and by using moves to manipulate votes. I'll talk a little about voting when I get to communities, and go into it in further detail in a later dev diary.

I'm writing up four Representative playbooks (playsheets? they're pretty small), one to focus on each Representative Stat. There are also generic moves tied to each stat that all the playbooks will have access to. That said, the stats that each Representative has are as follows:

Prestige - Represents political clout, connections, and historical significance;

Eloquence - Represents rhetorical, debate, and oratory skills

Guile (I don't like this name as much) - Represents understanding the procedures of governance and how to manipulate them

and Conviction - Represents strength of personality and ability to resist social pressure.

(Since this is a game about people talking and doing politics, I wanted to make sure that each stat feels unique, even though they are all basically about talking.)

When you create a Representative, you will assign -1, 0, 0, 1 across your stats. Each playbook also has a signature move that is where you'll likely want to put your 1 in initially.

For example, The Elder Statesman's signature move is tied to Prestige:

Carthago Delenda Est: When you call on the Council to address an Event that was drawn in a previous year, roll +Prestige. On a hit, all Representatives must place (Resources+Size) votes on the event, in favor of any option. On a mixed success, the Councilors listen to your plea and vote with you. On a miss, the Council ignores your entreaty and no votes may be placed on the Event at all.

Before I go into explaining Communities, Votes, and Councilors, the last thing I want to go into is character advancement. Representatives advance whenever they roll a miss, and can choose to either add +1 to a stat (up to +3 max) or take another playbook's signature move. However, after 4 misses, they are recalled by their Community as the repeated failures turn public opinion against them. So in that case, you'll retire the Representative (which can always come back in the fiction as a citizen!) and create a new character.

You'll notice that this means that you can go through a lot of Representatives quickly, but while your Representatives are the tools with which you interact with the world, the story being told is ultimately one of a whole city and its Communities.

...which, in an effort to not make this one too long (and it is super late for me), I will get into next time. Maybe it will be in the middle of the week, like a 2.5 or something.

Anyways, for this week's cat photo, enjoy Baby helping me unify Bronze-Age Egypt when I probably had other important stuff to be doing.

[agustdtown1]

YESSS P1 DID SO GOOD IT WAS SO 🥹🥹 also yes i also miss our ot7 </3 super sorry havent interacted in a bit due to school but ill try to interact more now! also happy holidays peachh im so excited for this xmas idek why😭

- ice anon

omg yess they did!! also their comback album is 10/10 !!! totally recommend

me too :((, i started tearing up when jin was asking army to stay healthy and take care of themselves, i’m gonna miss him sm </3

oh don’t worry, i totally understand, it’s the same for me too, college is killing me but i’m trying to keep up with everything ! i hope ur doing good tho<3

and happy holidays for you too, i hope you have a good christmas and enjoy your time with your loved ones ^-^

[deleteddewewted]

I hope this Isn’t too much, but can you do some bottom Monoma Headcanon’s? Btw love your work!

Awww thank you! And of course, I’d never miss a chance to have some bottom Monoma.

Monoma As a Bottom

Pro Hero! Monoma x Gn! Reader

Minors DNI

NSFW

W: Top Reader, Sub Monoma, Dom Reader, Degradation, Praise, NSFW

Monoma has a really huge need to get fucked it's not even funny.

Always clinging to you, rubbing his covered sex on your ass.

"So when can our next "study date" be?" Study dates where your guys is cover up for when you wanted to fuck.

He always asked for them and you tried to give him what he wanted.

He would ask every. single. day.

"Monoma, I can't keep fucking you every day. You need a break and so do I." Gets pouty with you but understands that your own sex drive might not be as high as his own.

You both weren't a couple but the two of you would look for each other often after graduating UA and starting college.

You went to UA together but you had nothing going on back then.

He was just another student that you happen to interact with from time to time because you were friends with Kendo.

Monoma was a pro hero now, so he didn't trust just anyone to fuck him.

At most he'd have 3 separate people, you included, that could help him get off and move on with his day.

Honestly, he prefers you out of all of his partners because of how much you understand his wants and needs.

Rough. Be rough with him.

Please choke him while you're fucking. Leave marks and hickeys all over him.

He will wear them like a badge of honor.

"You dirty slut Monoma. Taking all of this so well." Loves being degraded but you also can't forget the praise.

Loves to be tied up.

Loosing control just does it for him. He's an all powerful pro hero yet he wouldn't hesitate to get on his knees for you and become defenseless.

Is a really load moaner.

He moaned like a pornstar the first few times you both fucked.

It was mostly to give off the idea that he wasn't a total virgin and you totally were not his first.

You asked him to stop pretending that you were rearranging his insides. He stopped faking his moans and moaned like he would normally.

Which was still loud but sounded better?

It sounded like he was genuinely enjoying it and he would hiccup even if you weren't doing something to intense.

"Pleaaaase Y/nnnn. Giv- gic mmmmmoree." A beggar but bratty.

If he isn't all that tired he will get bratty with you.

This usually happens after a big mission and the adrenaline is still flowing through him.

He challenges you in bed all the time.

"C-come on! Do more Y/n! Oh, you can't? Thats what- aAAAH!"

He needs to get it all out, so what better way then having you fuck him stupid till he's a shaking gasping mess underneath you.

That was a very pretty sight.

Take pictures of him post or during his orgasm.

He says he doesn't want you to do that because its embarrassing, which it is for him, but he really likes the idea that you have such intimate photos of him.

Makes him hot and bothered.

Likes knowing you look at them when you masturbate.

Monoma little by little brought up the fact that he was giving up on his other partners and you simply believed that he would drop you too.

He doesn't, instead he becomes exclusive with you but doesn't ask you for exclusivity back.

Has no issue with you seeing other people in a non romantic manner.

As long as you keep fucking him, he was no problems.

If you want to be exclusive with him, tell him upfront. He gets confused if you aren't forward with him.

Likes being experimental in the bedroom so he buys a lot of new toys for you both to try out.

Doesn't matter what you do, the new additions in the bedroom are always second rank when you're the one taking care of him.

Remember that part about him rubbing against you?

Humping is a normal occurrence with him.

He humps you, your leg, face (when your giving him a blowjob), your own sex, and your stomach when he's riding.

He's a like a dog at times, so you'll treat him like one.

Run your hand threw his hair.

His scalp is sensitive so its intense and pleasurable for him.

Which also means that pulling on his hair is a bit painful but he loves it.

On the days he just wants something gentle, indulge him.

Still so obedient and pretty under you begging for more.

"Please Y/n. M-make me fe-el good hic." Voice so sweet and soft for you.

In the end, Monoma loves to be held by you. He also loves holding you back.

It was one of his favorite things to do after sex and it was why he asked you for "study dates" all the time.

He wanted to be close to you and he thought that sex was the only way to achieve that.

He gets up the next day and looks at how many new splotches of color he has on his body.

Gets exited when he sees 20, anything below that upsets him and he will ask you to add more till he gets his favorite number.

He acts like you didn't just fuck him into a puddle a few hours before work. So dont be surprised if he shows up at the agency with shaking legs and incapable of sitting down normally.

Has teased you at work before by showing off the buttplug he has on threw his pants. How does he do this? Streching his tight pants out so that it hugs his ass tightly, you can barely see the outline.

Everyone knows that Monoma and you fuck.

Why?

Cause he tells them!

He has no shame and mostly does it so people have it clear that you're his.

He leaves 3 buttons on his shirt open so that the hickeys are out for the world to see and gets all flustered when people ask about them.

Talks way to much about what you two do in the bedroom. At this point Kendo could tell you every position, kink, dynamic, and place you've done it.

Gets really soft when you kiss him. So kiss him.

Want him to stop talking, kiss.

He shuts up and watches you patiently, waiting for more kisses.

Has this gloss in his eyes after the deed.

You fucked him out of reality so he needs time to recover and come back.

Would and will be a power bottom if he's angry. Overall prefers to be taken care of but beware of his mood.

Thats the only warning you're getting.

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (3/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, fluff

A/n: WOW, keeping this gn!reader was so hard, especially when he talks to his therapist! :/ I hope you guys enjoyed it and I’d love your feed back on it! I also wrote this with a headache, so if it sucks im so sorry. Love you guys <3 thank you for the support.

Part 1 // Part 2

The days dragged on, your body aching from head to toe. Mostly from your job, you’d been working doubles to avoid any sort of interaction with Bucky. Only your lower back was sore from the ‘incident’, physically. Mentally you were hurt and confused.

Hurt because you didn’t understand. Why would he do such a thing? If there was something wrong, why didn’t he tell you before it got too far? And if he didn’t want you in that way, why lead you on like a fool? Some many questions ran through your mind that you wanted answers to. The problem was, you were sort of scared of Bucky now.

And you were confused because he never really made an effort to apologize. He said it on his way out of your apartment, but since then.. nothing. No call or a text, even though a text would’ve set you off; how cowardly. You find yourself daydreaming of him coming to your door, getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. He hadn’t though. He smiles at you through his window kind of like he’s asking you to come to the fire escape, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

You liked Bucky, you really did. After it happened, though, you realized you knew nothing about him. Sure, you know little things like his favorite beer and how self conscious he is sometimes, or how he changes the subject when you two start reminiscing on old times. The only thing you knew about his past is, he was a momma's boy, outgoing and he loved his best friend; he talked about him all the time.

That was it though. You felt like an open book to him and got nothing in return. You still didn’t know what happened to his arm; he wasn’t just born with a freaking metal arm. And you still had no idea why he lashed out at you.

The more you thought about it, though, the less you wanted to speak or even seen him again. You just wanted to become strangers to each other again, as if you aren’t already.

//

“Tell me what happened.” Bucky’s therapist was calm, even with all the tension coming from Bucky.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Then why are you here?” She raised an eyebrow in question.

“Because I have to be.” He answered bluntly.

“Is it the nightmares?” She asked with a sigh, getting tired of the game they play every time he has a session; it’s like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk.

“Not really. I mean, they’re part of it but no.”

His therapist leans in slowly, worry spreading across her face, “Tell me what’s going on, Bucky.”

Bucky groans, “I think- I think I’m falling for someone.” He readjusts, now feeling exposed and a little vulnerable.

“That’s good, isn't it?”

“It was.. until I fucked it all up.” He runs both hands through his hair. “That’s all I’m good at, fucking up every good thing that comes my way.”

“Breathe and tell me what happened.” She clicks her pen and settles into her chair as she waits for Bucky to speak.

“The notebook? Come on, I’m cooperating.”

“I’m just going to write down their name and anything that may come off alarming. It’s your first relationship since the 1940’s and since being the Winter Soldier. I’m hoping what you’re going to tell me isn’t as bad as I think it is.” She sighs again, flipping open the notebook now. “Did you hurt them?”

“No.. well-“

“Well?” She asks. Bucky hears her breath hitch and he hates it. She knows he’s a killer. She knows he can kill someone with his bare hands and not even flinch, because he has. He isn’t that guy anymore, though and he wants to prove it. Has to prove it. If not to her or y/n then to himself.

“We were.. ya know, well not exactly. I mean we were about to and I might have, accidentally, lashed out. It’s all a blur now. All I know is, one minute they were there on top of me and then on the floor. I guess I have a trigger when someone holds me down.”

“So you had a panic attack?” She’s now writing.

“Yeah..”

“And then what happened?”

“Could you stop writing, please. I can hear the scribbling as if you’re etching something into my skull. It’s very annoying.”

“Stay on topic. What’d you do after saying them on the floor?”

“I left, okay? I apologized and I left.” He stands from his seated position and paces the floors of her office.

“When did all this happen?”

“Two weeks ago today.” He runs his hands over his face in frustration and exhaustion. Since that day the nightmares were on overdrive. As if his mind stores special, horrible memories just to torcher him.

He sees y/n time to time through their windows but that’s it. No more friendly chats to help him through his darkest nights. No more y/n and that heavenly smile even on a long day's night.

Everything is just as it was before. Just Bucky and his thoughts, a dangerous combination. His eyes well up with tears, the feeling of loneliness taking over his entire body.

“Earth to Bucky?” The therapist shouts, snapping her fingers.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you’d seen this person since that day.” She reiterated.

“Oh.. uh, no. I mean, yes. I see them but we haven’t spoken.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared. I don’t want them to look at me like I’m a monster. I’m not who I used to be I- I’m good now. I just want them to see that.” A tear threatens to fall before he wipes it away on the back of his gloved hand. “I want to be a good person.”

The woman sighs and stands from her chair. She walks over to Bucky, tapping him on the shoulder until he turns around.

“If you really like this person, talk to them. It’s the only way to get through this. If they really like you, they’ll be patient and understanding. You’ll never know how they truly feel until you talk to them face-to-face. Our times up. Go.”

//

It was Thursday and it just so happens to be your first day off in two weeks. You’d plan to do nothing but sleep and watch awful rom coms in between the sleeping portion of the day. It was around 5pm. The sun was setting and you were on rom com number three; ‘Definitely, maybe’. You were close to tears when the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” You holler from the couch.

“It’s.. uh, it’s me, Bucky.” He could hear your heart pounding in your chest. This was a mistake. You were already frightened and you hadn’t even opened the door yet.

“Oh, I don’t think-“

“You don’t have to let me in,” he assured you. “Just.. listen or don’t. It’s totally up to you.” He waited for a response, but when you said nothing he took that as a ‘I’m listening’ and continued, “I fucked up, y/n. I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. I can’t take back what I did, but I swear to god if I could I would. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for the rest of your life, but you gotta know something. I really like you. I’m over the moon for you. I can’t stop thinking about you and your beautiful smile or how gentle and patient you are with people and not just me.

“You’ve never asked me about my past or where I come from. You’ve always liked me for me, who I am right now. I’ll never find anyone who sees me for me the way you do and I’ll do anything. Anything. To get your trust back. Just give me another chance, please.”

You stared at the door, speechless. The desperation in his voice is tearing you apart. He hadn’t explained what actually happened, but you know in time he will. There were many things you needed to talk about, but for right now all you wanted was him.

He stood at your door leaning his forehead against it in defeat. He knows you're still there but couldn’t be sure if you were actually listening or if you were still nervous with his presents in your doorway. He bit his lip as he waited for any sort of movement or noise, other than your heart beat.

He sighs in defeat, “okay, I’ll go.”

“Bucky wait..” you say, seeing him halfway down the hall. “I hear what you’re saying and you’re right, I do like you for who you are. But I need to know about your past and why in the world you have a metal arm.” You huff out a laugh, “You can’t hide who you were just because you’re ashamed. I want to be your rock, I want to be the person you come to after every nightmare. I want all of you, including your past.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” Bucky’s inches away from you now, taking your right hand into his metal one. “I want you to be my future and if that means showing you my past, so be it.”

You smile up at him and let out a sigh of relief, “god, I missed you.”

Bucky kisses you gently, running his flesh hand through your hair. “I missed you too.” He said, never leaving your lips. “I was also the Winter Soldier.”

“WHAT?”

Fin

//

Masterlist

Taglist: @haydens-moles @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @wintersoldiersthings @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger @drinkfantasy @tonystankschild @tfandtws @osterfieldshollandgirl

[silverhallow]

I'm really sorry you're feeling a bit low and don't know what to do or if you should keep on doing what you like(d). I'm pretty sure the momentary lack of response has nothing to do with you or the quality of your work though! I can only imagine how lonely it can feel out there in the virtual world/social media and every missing like, comment or reaction might seem like a rejection or dislike. Please don't forget there might be a 1000 different reasons... part/1

... (that have absolutely nothing to do with you!) why you don't get this or that reaction. People might be too busy, stressed out, have work/family problems or are going through a little rough patch. I get it, we got so used to measure success with likes and comments that a lack thereof can seem like a failure. But it is not! Try no to worry too much about it, treat yourself to a little 'me-time' taking care of you and wait a bit before you get back to it all. part/2

Who knows, maybe tomorrow or in a few days or next week everything falls back into place and people are ready to show you their appreciation. Btw, posting how you feel instead of disappearing without a word is so important so I applaud you for that! Thank you for this little reminder to show our appreciation and gratitude more vocally. part/3

So, since I'm already here, I'm gonna use this opportunity to tell you how much I appreciate everything you do! Every single one of your fics/AUs is such a joy to read and it amazes me how you keep on coming up with new stories and ideas. Don't ever doubt yourself or dare to think anything is boring or dull! Your great👏🏼👑😊😘(was looking for a bowing emoji but alas didn't find one, hence the crown😉😂) part/4

Wow Nonnie, thank you for such a long ask! i think this might be the longest one i've ever gotten!!

i totally understand that people are busy and have far better things to do than read my work. I think i'd just gotten so used to have at least one comment the following morning that when i didn't it sort of made me confuse and wonder if it was me. Like never apologise to me for not reading my work yet... i get it. I post like a machine and you guys have lives (and yes i am human... May I can practically see you screaming that I am a robot...)

Because of the way that things had been going, there was less engagement in my asks unless people were wanting sneak peaks and I was doing the rose game... or it was me asking you guys for things, made me honestly wonder if I was the problem.

Work's been a lot lately, and not even because i'm busy but because of the opposite. i've got a lot of pressure on one case i'm working and it's stressful and people don't seem to be supportive of that but cause I'm not actually in my usual department it's even harder.

I am very much alone at work. the nearest person to me that does the same job to me is a 110 miles away.

I used to measure the success of my stories on hits and kudos and the likes but after a minor meltdown over a year ago I stopped caring about them. I was getting interactions for a set of regulars (some of whom no longer comment on my work but I think still read it...) and that was enough.

but because i'm feeling so out of sorts with my professional life, i've thrown myself into this a bit more and it's...crept in here.

seriously like sometimes to a writer just the one comment can lift their spirits. we do this for free... like I spend a lot of my free time doing this, (and not free time as I write at work as well) so when the comments and the interactions stop... it makes me wonder why i'm doing this.

I don't have my comments moderated and i allow guests to post comments, and I have my asks on Anon so that people can share without feeling shy.

I am always grateful for the interaction and it's what makes it all the more worth it.

I am not the sort of person who can keep in her feelings, it will either show on my face or i have to get them off my chest or they will actually consume me. i've had so many issues in the past with no opening up and sharing so it's why I will sometimes have these little wobbles and rambles about it but usually below a cut because not everyone wants to read about my anxiety and my issues.

but i think we all need the reminder, I used to be so bad at it but I have to practise what i preach, it's why I will send my favourite author's asks about their stories, wanting to know some of the minor details, wanting to know more.

its why i will reply to people's posts and why i will ALWAYS reply to comments! even if its a thank you for reading because it's so important that people know we've read them!

But thank you so much for your lovely and sweet comments in part 4. it is wonderful to know that people aren't sick of me yet... I couldn't do this without you guys because I've spent enough years with the stories in my head and not writing them down and you guys constantly wanting new AUs and new stories is the reason I am still doing this and i am onto my 284 Bridgerton Story...

Thank you for reaching out and saying all these lovely things and to everyone else who reached out yesterday. I am feeling better... not masses but a bit. it's good to know that you guys still appreciate me.