#I do hope she sings try
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Bought myself a ticket to see P!nk because her song “try” is the cullydia anthem
#cullydia#personal#I also just love her lmao#and I was sad I didn’t go when she was here years ago#So I am going to rectify that :)#I do hope she sings try
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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe#tiphereth#tiphereth lobcorp#chesed#chesed lobcorp#do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach#netzach lobcorp#ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both#just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip#talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that#just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to#where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac#parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin#the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown#they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as#chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to#singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts#malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an#iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro#more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug
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head full of love and appreciation for folklore and evermore. head full
#the perfect albums. perfect perfect perfect albums#anyone want a mini rant about these albums? let's go#it's just pure perfection pure talent. no hiding behind flashy loud production. it's just a few instruments and good fucking lyrics#perfect melodies. taylor gets to play with her voice and do whatever she wants with it AND ACTUALLY LET IT SHOW THAT IT'S GOOD#you get what im saying? there are no high notes nothing of that but still her voice sounds the best it ever has in these albums#the songs are simple. but also they're not. the instruments are simple the singing is simple but also NOT AT ALL#she's not TRYING to show anything in these two albums. trying to prove something to achieve something you know? it makes perfect sense to me#it's simple talent that's just it. not hidden behind anything big but still there's NOTHING small or insignificant about these albums#i hope she goes back to that sound some time in the future. it's ok if she wants to do pop now more than ok#but it would be such a shame & wasted opportunity if she never goes back to that genre. it's perfect ideal for her. her best works
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Ziva, how well do you think Toastymarshmellow (who sang in this song as Amanda) would fit Ravin as her voice?
I actually imagine Ravin having an autotune natural voice like Guy Diamond. 😅 But her autotune doesn't sound like his that's... I dunno what to call it — stereotypical autotune? skjdjdj — and is more like just high pitched vocals (especially when Ravin gets loud or excited). I don't know the proper words to describe it so I looked up a few happy hardcore songs for help.. I imagine her sounding a lot like the singer (and the autotune/distortion) in this song:
youtube
#hope this was of any help#i really suck at trying to explain anything related to vocals or music#if ravin was a human irl she would watch a lot of anime and she would talk like those annoying stereotypical anime girls sksjdsjsdjd#answered#trolls#ravin#happy hardcore#every time i look at happy hardcore music videos for too long my eyes start to hurt#can't listen to this genre of music for very long either even though i do find it fascinating. like observing a bug in a jar#P.S.#(Eddy M also has natural autotune but it comes out less often (mostly just when he sings)#his voice (and distortion) are just like how the singer in Breathe Carolina's Blackout sounds)#:)
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Summary:
Three little scenes on the theme of singing.
:) I was in the mood for something short and sweet. Hope you enjoy!
#gotta go back to work for a bit but i couldn't resist posting this as soon as i had a few free minutes#i originally meant to post these on here only but the middle vignette got away from me a bit. lol#i think the moment miles complained about rose humming is the moment that cemented my severe dislike of him. like. dude.#your girlfriend is snow-white mary poppins the most adorable princess ever#and you complain? that she hums??? im going to break your kneecaps????#idk what else i can say about dorothy singing 'what'll i do'. that scene is everything it changed my life ngl#i guess i wanted a happier memory related to it than 'oh she sings it and then leaves forever four episodes later'#i hope rose's pov works well! i'm never quite sure about it. i should give a try to a whole fic in her pov soon#please tell me im not the only one who found blanche's beer jingle to be the sweetest thing ever. she sang it in such a soft voice#like it's funny ofc but i just melted#might be because im in love with her though#i always ramble in the tags when i post this stuff lmao. i hope you all have fun#hugs and kisses for you!#the golden girls#golden wives#writing
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I love how open Taylor is about her emotions and her intrinsic need to feel and then share them. Even when it doesn’t work out for her, she still continues to wear her heart on her sleeve!! Again and again no matter how many times it takes!! Like when you think about her opening the tour with Invisible String on the setlist, the last minute drop of All of The Girls, followed by the breakup and immediate removal of Invisible String and then the “you know who are you, I love you” and lights camera bitch smiling of it all to reformatting the whole setlist and format of the show to incorporate the breakup anthems of a relationship she still was in when the tour began to throwing in “So High School” as the only song from the Anthology to make the setlist just because she’s THAT down bad kicking her feet and giggling for her new man!! A lesser woman would have lost hope, indeed
#idk I love her so much#and I am very much NOT saying it is going to happen and not trying to curse anything#but lowkey if her and Travis ever were to break up before it ended you know she’d just take so high school off the setlist#and sing something else instead vkfjfjoe#but the idea of possible maybe having to do that would never even occur to her now or stop her from putting it on the setlist#even though it happened before. THIS TOUR!#you know what I mean?#like after all her failed relationships she still has so much hope and resilience#I just admire her and love her so much idk#🥺🥺🥺#taylor swift#ts#eras tour
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#i swear i'm not being a pretentious asshole about it i genuinely enjoy it#but it's extremely funny to me today to see all these swifties listen to the national for the first time for the most part#and the resounding thought is oh! it's like folklore!#and i just heheheheheheheheheh i laugh! i chuckle!#cuz it's like..... everyone KNOWS that folklore is a lot of taylor just writing to instrumentals aaron already made and sent her#and she had little to do with the melody of half the album at least#but i don't think people actually reckoned with that information irl before now like folklore is yes a new direction for taylor#but it's par for the course for the national! they're QUITE LITERALLY reject tracks!!#i don't mean this to demean folklore nor to be reductive towards taylor i'm being totally serious i love watching#swifties slowly come to the realization and connect the dots like#oh...... this is the sound of the national.... THEY sound like that#folklore is mainly a national album with taylor writing and singing.....#and i'm like DING DING DING DING AND THATS WHY IT FUCKS SO SEVERELY#SAD BOY SUPREME MEETS SAD GIRL SUPREME AND THEIR ALBUM OBVIOUSLY IS INCREDIBLE#i try not to like indie-splain my pretentious indie music to the pop girlies or the kiddos so im just really thrilled that#taylor introduced a new group of people to the sound of the national but through slow drip and wrapped in taylorisms#and that they're getting a new audience of fans who aren't 40 year olds#cuz they're excellent but they're debilitatingly sad so you really do need to slowly wade in. you can't just dive into Boxer#you'll suffer so severely#i'm so happy for them and i'm happy for everyone discovering them and i hope you enjoy middle aged existential gloom!!#its a good time!!!!
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I still want to write a fic about Makoto set after 0 where she goes off the rails because she is a traumatized 21 year old with not a single living connection in the world and now she has 10 billion yen to her name which just spells trouble to me
#when I say she has no living connection I mean bc Majima isn't ever known by her#like I hope she gets comfort at the idea he is out there even if she can't find him#but essentially her brother and Lee and her mum and her grandfather are all dead#She's literally got no one#And I'm supposed to believe she just copes fine with that?#I always had this Makoto Everywhere Idea#where she doesn't leave Kamurocho and Majima keeps seeing her around#and she's driving him insane because shes actively looking for him and he's trying to escape her#he's threatened every yakuza in the city never to say a word unless they want him to go mad dog like he did on the dojima family#even Sera agrees#so Makoto's left smacking random dudes and wandering around doing her investigation#She hassles Nishiki and Kiryu about it- but they're all Oh Um we didn't know the guy#It's just Majima going to get ciggies in the poppo and oh fuck heres Makoto eating a fuckin pork bun#quickly turn around and run away#Oh he feels a bit snackish- why not go grab some takoyaki Oh fuck me it's Makoto Makimura at the takoyaki cart /again/#He wants to go have some fun- have a drink and a little karaoke#in an Okama bar- Jesus fucking christ Makoto's here and she'd singing HIS song and she's too drunk so now he's worried#But it's none of his buisness... Hmm maybe he can pay one of the nice young guys in there to keep an eye... No thats suspect#You get my vibe?#that's a different story to the one in the body of the post though.#Or Is It 🤨#Makoto looking for him but being destructive and its driving Majima insane#anyway :)
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Xenofashionista (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#YIK#Molly#First time drawing Molly!! Who belongs to trollybazoo btw :3#It's like fanart telephone haha I'm going off of Zarla's art of her so pls forgive any inaccuracies of a quick glance#She's super cute ♥ I have expressed my love of their relationship before and I will again! Lol#But first I gotta sing my love to YIK once again hhhgggg why is she so goshdang pretty#I think what's especially funny is that I didn't sit down to draw her - it might be a bit obvious in her eye and tendril expressions#I initially planned to draw DAX but was like ''Wait hold on this doesn't quite fit him but y'know who it would?? I can fix this I can fi-''#Lol#It was fairly early on so I hope I captured her well enough despite the base hehehe#Gosh she's cute heck#I've been really grasped by the idea of ''Aliens wearing clothing designed by humans meant to evoke aliens'' lol#That was my intention anyway I think it just turned into YIK pinups after a point lol - not that I'm complaining!#Yes that'd fit a daki what of it don't look at me lol#I do really love her her arms and head tendrils turned out there hehe all curled around lightly twisted and hold ♥#Pretty pretty pretty#And then Molly! Yay! ♪#Simultaneously trying to learn her and give the scene to her lol ♪ A decent first attempt I think >:3c#And then a little smooch ♥ Hehe ♪#It wasn't my intention but YIK looks like she's wagging her tail and just jfdlsahdfd the cuteness#I'm quite happy with how relaxed she looks there as well haha ♪ Fluster up her human <3#They <3 <3 <3
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my schedule and my classes are so fucking awful and i am filled with more contempt and vitriol than ever this year
#cannot even begin to complain on the level that my art teacher deserves this year but by god i will try#first she starts with a ban on headphones and earbuds LIKE GIRL!#what do you mean for me to listen to. the sound of every possible obnoxious junior in one class#the ugly fucking rich white boy senior#and the girl who likes to take embarrassing photos of everyone including her friends and post them on instagram#AND her repeating the same few directions every single day for 30 minutes because she loves the sound of her own voice??#second the way she talks actually just pisses me off#she is a worse speaker than me which is saying something she will just go on and on and on#someone will ask her a question and she will mention like 5 famous artists like theyre obscure and as if high schoolers know who they are#WE GET IT!! YOU WENT TO RISD!! YOU KNOW WHO BAUHAUS IS!!#its so pretentious and not helpful at all and she will take the other hour and a half to only talk to one of her favorite students#no one asked. no one is going to google fucking mondrian okay please be realistic#shes both so serious and so silly. this class is a college level course if you dont think u can do it switch to choir#also every senior has to have a direction and a theme for the rest of the year regardless of whether youre even taking the test#fucking bitch do you think anyone has a choice its literally impossible to switch in high school#i would literally much rather be singing the national anthem or whatever i would do anything to escape the idea of having a THEME#i am not going to develop deep involved ideas in three classes and you should go die if you think i care enough to be drawing for school#outside of class time. i am literally cooler and already a better artist than you are#if you would like to talk about cliches in art i will pull up your ugly basic portfolio right now you dick#never met anyone less suited to being an art teacher i hope the school burns down#im not suicidal im not a suicidal person but every time i have to be in that room all my will to live just is lost#she hates me personally too she's always on my ass about anything and everything and also will not help me if i do ask#like what does she want me to do about it? take initiative? if i wanted to develop as an artist i would not be listening to her#she said she wanted 50 hours a week outside of class. i Wil shoot myself by the way. top ten people i would blame in my suicide letter.#honestly i can deal with first period PE i can deal with having that ugly rich white boy in my chem and my cs and my lit and my civics but.#art class.#god i hope he dies too instead of any of the 7 people i like at this school in any of my classes i have a mansplainer#anyways i feel a mild cold and my period coming on im normal i prommy#also every time i step into the school building i get a headache#its like the deodorant perfume cologne combined with the stench of everyone having mandatory pe for 5/6 years
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tag dump auuugh auuug auaughhh
#✰ * ˖ your alter for worship › txt.#✰ * ˖ moon dust in your lungs › inbox.#✰ * ˖ a brutal thing made of flowers › vent.#✰ * ˖ is there a part of you that is more real than the others › memories.#✰ * ˖ the moon will sing › song lyrics.#✰ * ˖ love like you › my mate.#✰ * ˖ hello my old heart › fictional others.#✰ * ˖ clever as the devil › id: fox spirit.#✰ * ˖ never run from anything immortal › id: unicorn.#✰ * ˖ meet me in the woods › id: cat.#✰ * ˖ how rare and beautiful it is that we exist › id: celestial deity.#✰ * ˖ the guardian › id: ellie.#✰ * ˖ i don't belong to anyone › id: lolbit.#✰ * ˖ she swallowed burning coals › id: jacket.#✰ * ˖ in my restless dreams › id: heather.#✰ * ˖ i hope you know i pack a chainsaw › id: juliet.#✰ * ˖ welcome to the club › id: vinyl scratch.#✰ * ˖ try to do the right thing › id: arthur.
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ummmm
#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative#cw vent#you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but#my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all#i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me#i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though#so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol#everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit#i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden
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“can you watch my boyfriend for a sec?” ❁
f1 grid x fem!reader
summary: TikTok trend with the grid!!
authors note: saw the carlos one and knew i had to write about it!! his reaction made me laugh!! i also just saw mclaren do it to oscar!! i hope the other teams do it to their drivers as well!! also first time writing for seb, jenson, and daniel, i had the time so i said why not?!any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!!
f1 masterlist
Lewis
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to grab something from the car."
You head out, leaving Lewis alone in front of your phone's camera. He looks around, slightly bewildered.
"What? Y/N who’s on the phone? Uh, hey there. I guess I'm being watched. So... how's everyone doing? Good? Cool. Uh, any Mercedes fans here?" He starts talking about his day and how Roscoe is doing, trying to entertain the 'audience'. "Alright, she'll be back any minute now... right?"
Max
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to take out the trash."
Max raises an eyebrow as you walk away. He looks at the phone, unsure of what to say.
"Huh? Um, okay. This is weird. Hi, everyone….I guess…..Y/N what is this?! Who’s on the phone? So…what do we do now? Should I... talk about racing? Or... maybe I could just sit here…?" He awkwardly shuffles in his seat, checking his watch. "How long does it take to throw out the trash? Y/N come back! I don’t know what to say or do!"
Lando
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to get a drink from the kitchen."
Lando grins as you walk away, immediately knowing the TikTok trend. He leans in closer to the camera.
"Hey, TikTok! I was wondering when Y/N was going to do this trend on me! What have you guys been up to? Should I prank her back? Give me some ideas in the comments!" He starts to look around, trying to find something to do. "Should I play some games on my computer or maybe I'll hide and jump out when she gets back?"
Oscar
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to get my food."
Oscar blinks, looking at the phone and then at the door you just walked towards. He frowns slightly.
"Huh? What….okay? Uh, hi? I guess you guys are going to watch me eat my breakfast…Not sure what I'm supposed to do here. Should I be saying something interesting?" He scratches his head, and moves his food around, clearly uncomfortable. "So, did you guys have breakfast yet? I hope you did, breakfast is important….uhhh yea. Y/N!! Babe!! Come back!! I don’t know what to do!!"
Charles
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to take a call."
Charles watches you leave, then looks at the phone, confused but trying to be polite.
"Uh? Wait what? Hello, everyone. I guess your...on watch duty?" He laughs nervously. "This feels strange. Maybe I should sing a song? Or talk about Ferrari? Oh, I know, I'll play some music on my piano!" He moves towards the piano, but then hesitates. "Wait, how long is this call going to be? Y/N! Baby!!"
Carlos
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to make a smoothie."
Carlos looks at the camera, then at the direction you went, raising an eyebrow.
“What is this? Hello? Anyone there? Who were you talking to? Y/N?! Uhhhh hi… Wait, a smoothie? Bebe make me one too please! Okay, hi everyone. This is Carlos, just here... being watched?" He starts looking around, picking up random items on the table. "So, let me show you my favorite things on this table. This is a cool pen, and this is... a coaster. Fascinating, right?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "This is so weird. How long does making a smoothie take anyway?"
Sebastian
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to water the plants."
Sebastian gives you a puzzled look as you leave and then turns to the camera, smiling politely.
"What?! Y/N what is this? Hello? Hello? Anywhere there? I’m confused… Y/N!! Who were you talking too? Honey? … Um, hello everyone… I guess I'm under surveillance now." He chuckles. "So, while she's watering the plants, let's talk about... sustainability! Did you know you can make your own compost at home? It's really simple and great for your garden." He starts explaining the process, gesturing enthusiastically. "I hope she comes back soon because I might run out of eco-friendly tips! Oh wait!! I know! Let me show you my bees!!"
Jenson
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to grab the mail."
Jenson watches you leave with a bemused smile, then looks at the phone.
"Ummm what?! Babe? Y/N? Hello? Uhhh..hey there. So, I guess I need to be watched for a minute. You guys are in babysitting duty? Let’s see... what can I do to entertain you?" He glances around and spots his dogs. "Hey, meet my dogs! Come here babies!." He tries to get their attention but Bentley and Rouge ignore him, while Storm walks up to him, just to sit and stare at him. "Well, that didn’t go as planned. I guess they’re tired from playing this morning. Oh well, maybe next time! Isn’t that right Storm." he says putting down the camera.
Daniel
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to fix something in the bathroom."
Daniel immediately grins and laughs as you walk away, sensing a prank.
“Huh? Babe? What? Oh wait! It’s that TikTok trend!! Alright, what’s up TikTok, what's going on? He starts making funny faces at the camera and then leans in closer. "I have no idea what to talk about. This is so stupid and awkward.” He says bursting out laughing. He keeps glancing towards the bathroom, barely containing his laughter. "Babe come back!!"
© 23victoria 2024 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate, or claim my work as your own.
#ꨄ࿎victoria’s writings!࿎ꨄ#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc#f1 grid#f1 x you#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 drivers#f1 drabble
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Sylus
Summary: Sylus struggles to put your baby girl to sleep.
Warnings: Pure Fluff
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky
You’ve never thought you’d find Sylus in this situation. You’ve pictured your husband doing a lot of things– But this? Never in a million years.
You want to step into the room, but you can’t allow yourself to interrupt. The scene fills your stomach with butterflies, and reminds you why you fell for him all over again. The man really has a softer side that many don’t get to witness. You see it often; but no one will see it as much as her.
“Twinkle, twinkle– I guess you don’t like it.” Sylus’ singing is cut off by his baby’s cries. He’s rocking her back and forth, hoping to get his baby girl to fall asleep. He promised you that he’d take over so you could take the night off, but tonight his babygirl is as energetic as ever.
Though the singing stops, the crying doesn’t. He shushes her before telling her, “I promise I won’t sing again.”
The shrill cries stop, but his baby’s eyes are still wide open. She’s a difficult one to fall asleep, and he knows exactly who she got that from. Offering money won’t work with her yet, so he’s forced to play a waiting game.
“I’m trying to spend time with your mom, love. C’mon, help me out.” She laughs at the tired look on her father’s face, and Sylus can’t help but smile. She’s laughing at his misery, but at least it’s a cute laugh.
“I’ll get payback one day.” Sylus says as he lifts her in the air before blowing a raspberry on her tummy. Another laugh comes from the little one. He kisses her chubby cheeks, pure joy overtaking him.
“You’re lucky you’re cute, I’d be mad otherwise.” He tells her, earning a coo from the energetic girl. He chuckles.
“I can handle her.” You finally step into the room, cutting off the sweet moment between Sylus and your baby girl. You don’t want him to get frustrated with her, even when he looks overjoyed to just hold her.
“It’s fine.” Sylus assures you. He’s smiling down at her. “I can handle my little sweetheart.”
#dividers by cafekitsune#love and deepspace#lads#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#dad sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus fluff#love and deep space#loveanddeepspace
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Never made it as a wise man
(joel miller x f!reader)
Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.
Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that.
However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy?
You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic?
Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre
ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 1.5 here
Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk
WC: 4.2k
You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift.
Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him.
At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that.
That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories.
The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach.
You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there.
Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked.
Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right?
You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible.
You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway.
After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course!
You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life.
The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench.
You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is.
The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep.
The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right?
You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything.
You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench.
Still, no Joel, however.
You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls.
As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.
The next moment is a blur.
“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone.
You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow.
“What are you doing here?” he barks.
Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run.
He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster.
“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist.
“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.”
“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you.
“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face.
But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch.
Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon?
He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks.
“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead.
Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal.
You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic.
“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?”
“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door.
This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it.
You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.
He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken
For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop.
“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face.
You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk.
“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans.
Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues.
His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately.
“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock.
“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts.
Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm.
“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now.
“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core.
He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock.
They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop.
“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess. You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one.
“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin.
He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor.
Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you.
Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back.
The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer.
You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin.
Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours.
He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief.
He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought.
“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.
“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point.
“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?”
You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”
You snap your legs back shut with a glare.
“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.”
His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked.
“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.”
He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle.
A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat.
“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him.
“You need more?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum.
“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon.
But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.
“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.
“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene.
Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision.
“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.”
“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you.
“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway.
“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face.
“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move.
“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door.
When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose.
Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize.
The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display.
You send it off with no context, figuring it’s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen:
Joel
Attachment 1 image
divider by @cyberangel-graphics
Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh
#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#hotdilfsummerchallenge#joel miller#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#fanfic#joel miller au#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction
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ok i have this idea for alpha!ghost and omega!reader. this is a very, very rough draft and is not even close to anything with real meat, but i would like to get some early feedback about this idea i have.
"I'm not here as a friend," she says softly, and you frown a little.
"Aren't...haven't we always been friends?" You ask, and Kate lets out a shaky sigh, nodding her head behind her.
"We need to talk. C'mon."
You retrieve the gun and holster it, fastening it around your thigh holster before you follow her. She has a car waiting outside, a big, black SUV with the door already open for her. When you get inside, she knocks on the divider, and the car immediately starts moving. You brace yourself against the side of the car as it speeds off, reaching for a seatbelt.
"Jesus, Kate, what's going on? I-I have training later, I can't--"
"You're not...going back to base," she says evenly. You frown a little, leaning back in your seat, and you put your hands in your lap as you try and get a read on her. Even exhausted, Kate is hard to decipher. She has a stone-cold expression, calm and unbothered, and you curse her CIA training for making her impossible to understand, to even get a glimpse of what she might say next.
"Okay," you scoff a little. "Then where am I going?"
Kate sniffs a little, crossing her arms over her chest. She doesn't break eye contact with you when she says, "Wheels up in 30. I have an assignment for you." She reaches under the seat, pulling out a manila folder, setting it down beside you. When you pick it up and flip it open, you narrow your eyes.
"I'm..." You shrug your shoulders, "I'm not CIA. You don't give me orders."
"As of one hour ago, you're mine. And this...this is your duty."
Your eyes blur as you skim the text on the pages. You flip through the papers flimsily, getting more and more irritated until you throw it at her, your chest rising and falling fast as you pant, barely able to see her through your tears.
"Kate, don't do this," you beg her softly. "Please don't do this. Please. You fucking promised me, you promised--"
"You need to understand that I don't have a lot of fucking choices," she says sharply.
"Kate, I'll do anything, please," you gasp. You reach over and grab her hands, tugging her towards you. "You know. You know what...w-what I've been through, what this all is, you know...please. Please..."
"I can't--"
"I'll be yours," you try, squeezing her palms. "Just claim me yourself, a-and...and we don't have to do this, w-we can...I-I can go back to--"
Her face contorts, offended, disgusted. You try and swallow down the sting of her rejection, but you cannot help yourself. You would do anything to not be subjected to this fate, to the fate she promised she'd save you from. The only alpha you have ever trusted, and she's pulling away from you, bit by bit.
"I could never do that to you," she interrupts, shaking her head. "I couldn't."
"But you'll do this instead?"
"It's the lesser evil," she says finally, pushing your hands back. "And in my world, that is the best I can hope for."
"It's punishment!" You cry, and she reaches over, cupping your cheeks, pulling you close. "A-And for what? For being something that I can't change?!"
"It's mercy," she whispers. "I can't protect you anymore, do you understand? They don't want you there. Even taking meds, even spraying yourself to shit, they don't want you, and I can't protect you if they send you away, do you understand me?" You start to cry, closing your eyes, and you hear the familiar voice in your head sing. She's desperate, slipping through the cracks, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you try and force her backwards. "I have to get you out of there, and this is the only way."
"Please..."
"I can't protect you," she says gently. "But he can. And he'll be good to you. I promise, this...this I can promise."
#this is all exposition and setting up but just want to know if people are like “yes lets do it” or “ehhh give me another” yk#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty
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