#I didn't mean to do that oops

[black00olive]

Ready for Racing

A/N: Woah,,,, this silly guy is posting something again?? That's crazy,,,, Anyway this was just a small drabble I wanted to create for the art piece you see in the header. I have another post for the full art and you can also check it out on my twt (@black00olive yes it's the same username). This one is especially self-indulgent since Neige is the absolute loml but I'm bland enough that I thought others might enjoy the scenario as well.

Pairing: Neige Leblanche x reader

Wordcount: ~2k words

Summary: NRC and RSA have entered a racing event, and now it's aparently your job to take all of the promotional photos for the participants in place of the paparazzi. At least this gives you the chance to talk with Neige...

“Alright, I’m done. What do you think?” You take out the photo from the Ghost camera and give it to Riddle. 

“This is wonderful,” he muses before giving it back with a smile, “you’ve truly become very adept at photography, haven’t you?”

“Haha, I guess so,” you shrug as you place the photo into your binder before stuffing the whole thing back in your bag. There should only be about three more photos to be taken before you’ve finished your job here. “I mean, that was the natural progression, wasn’t it? Considering how I’ve practically become the school photographer. It would be kind of sad if I hadn’t improved at all during these past few years.”

That forces a laugh out of Riddle as he nods, “Yes, I suppose it would be so.”

“Welp,” you say suddenly as you dust your hands off– even though you really hadn’t done anything to warrant the motion– and turn back toward Riddle, “I guess I should get going to the next person so I can finish this before the actual event starts. Hope you do well during the race. See you later, Riddle.”

“No need to hope, you should know I never do anything less than perfect, Prefect,” he smirks as he waves you off. You roll your eyes which contrasts the way you snort before shaking your head and turning on your phone. Scrolling through your checklist of participants you need to take photos of, you check Riddle off of the list. You read out the next person’s name, and as you do you hear the exact same name being exclaimed not too far away. Which isn’t very surprising, considering who it is.

“Neige Leblanche!”

“Neige Leblanche, look over here!”

“Can we get a statement before the race begins, Neige Leblanche?!”

A horde of paparazzi have gathered around him as different cameras and microphones are all being shoved in his face. Somehow, Neige still manages to have a gentle smile on his face as all of this transpires– a clear show of his media training which would have impressed you if you weren’t so preoccupied with wondering how they all managed to get in. There was a reason you had to do all of the photo taking today, that reason being so they could still get photos without having to have paparazzi this close to the students. 

Something that would never cease to surprise you is how similar paparazzi act both in your world and in Twisted Wonderland. That wasn’t a good thing though, especially considering the status’ many of the students participating in this race held. 

“One more question, Neige! The race hasn't started yet, so you must have some time!”

Another reason they didn’t want paparazzi here was just because of this as well: They would take up all of the participants' preparation time. Sighing, you begin walking over to Neige and the horde of paparazzi surrounding him.

“How do you feel your chances are against Vil Schöenheit and Crown Prince Malleus Draconia?”

“Excuse me, Neige is actually needed elsewhere right now,” you suddenly interrupt as you grab Neige and place him behind you, “in any case, I’m fairly sure you aren’t allowed in here. You should leave before I call security.”

The paparazzi stutter as they try to make up excuses, you just ignore them as you grab Neige’s wrist to lead him away. You walk away, while doing so you take out your phone and type out a quick message to Crowley as you glance back. Thankfully your warning was enough for most of them to grab their things and leave, but you still sent the message just to be safe.

“Alright, we should be far away now. Sorry for just grabbing you like that,” you say as you let go of his wrist.

“Oh, no! It’s alright, I should thank you for getting me out of that situation,” he responds with a thankful smile before suddenly remembering something, “right! You said I was needed somewhere?”

You give him a funny look before remembering that you actually had made up something like that while you were talking to the paparazzi. “Huh, yeah, no. That was just something I made up to get you out of there,” you shrug as Neige’s eyes widen before bursting out into giggles. 

“Haha! Oh, I see,” his eyes crinckle in the corners as he smiles at you, “I suppose thanks are due then?”

“Pfft, no, it’s okay. I’m staff right now, so it’s technically just part of my noble duty,” you wave him off with a smirk, “plus, if I hadn’t chased them away they would have ended up bothering the rest of the participants anyway, you know?”

Neige plays along with amusement coating his voice, “Right, right, of course. What would we do without you, O’Noble Knight in confrontational armour?” The two of you stare at each other for a moment before both bursting out in laughter. 

“Okay, yeah… I did drag you away… for some less noble… reasons as well,” you say between your attempts at stifling your laughter. “Ah, truly? I would have never been able to guess,” Neige muses before you continue. “Those reasons being that it’s your turn to get your photos taken.”

That causes Neige’s eyes to widen again as if he had forgotten about it, “Oh right, we are getting our photos taken by you,” which he evidently had.

“Yeah, I am. C’mon, let’s go to your car so I can take them,” you motion toward where the RSA participants have their cars stored.

“Neige, you’re back!” Doc exclaims as he looks up from where he was messing with the wheels of the car. “Those people didn’t bother you too much, did they?”

“No, I’m fine! They were just asking questions,” Neige tries to placate as Dominic fusses over him.

“I swear, those guys can never just mind their own business! Always bothering us…” Grum grumbles as he glares at nothing in particular. “You should just yell at them to leave you alone!” He eventually exclaims which causes Neige’s smile to drop a little.

“Grum! You know why Neige can’t do that!” Dominic chastises as Neige simply just laughs a little half-heartedly. 

You get Grum’s sentiment, it’s why you had spoken out in place of Neige earlier. At first you hadn’t really understood it, but after spending more time with him you had finally come to understand how fragile Neige’s image really was in the media. Ever since he was a kid Neige had been in the spotlight, always in the pure, sweet hero role, and that’s the role he had been forced to take in real life as well. If he were to ever break that mold he was placed in he would have hell to deal with.

“Well, are you guys done with fixing the car? Neige is going to get his photo taken now,” you interrupt the heavy silence that had taken over the conversation while holding up the ghost camera. Neige sends a grateful smile in your direction before Dominic answers.

“Oh, Prefect! Yeah, we are,” Dominic nods as he begins to push Grum away, “we’ll get out of your way so you can take his photos!”

You thank him as you take off your bag and get into position. Neige tilts his head and looks at you before you tell him to sit on the ground, leaning on the car's side. Thanks to having already taken more than a dozen photos already you had been able to try a ton of different positions, which resulted in you already having an idea for how you wanted Neige’s photo to look like. 

The session goes incredibly smoothly and before you realise it, you’ve already finished taking the one perfect photo that was needed– plus several more. As the last photo comes out of the ghost camera you don’t immediately give it to Neige to look at. It was probably the best out of all the photos, in your opinion of course. Really, it was no wonder Neige was so popular. Even overlooking his acting talent and just how kind he was, he was beautiful, gorgeous even. 

It was different from the beauty that Vil had– very different. Where Vil was a striking, eye-catching beauty, one that was meticulously curated and perfected, and even intimidating. Neige was a type of beauty that creeps up on you– in a way. He had the kind of beauty you might see as you walk down the street which causes you to look back and won’t leave your mind for the rest of the week. Welcoming, warm, and inviting, those were all words you would use to describe his beauty. In all the ways Vil was sharp and arresting, Neige was soft and charming. You never understood why Vil would compare himself to Neige when the two of them were both winning, just in two different categories.

“Prefect!” Neige’s voice suddenly brings you out of your thoughts as you bring your eyes away from the photo.

“Huh?”

“I’ve been calling you for a while now, what has you so zoned out?” He asks as he looks over at the photo you were holding. “Oh,” he squeaks before suddenly leaping away from you as if you had burned him.

“Haha, yeah, I was looking at your photo,” you say as you feel your cheeks heat up, “you really are gorgeous, but I’m sure you know that already.” You itch your nape as you bring your eyes back up towards his. Neige always had especially rosy cheeks but now they practically looked like two tomatoes were put in place of his cheeks.

“Well, it’s always nice to hear you say it… Not that I’m trying to fish for compliments or something! I’m just saying that it’s always nice to hear compliments, you know? I’m not trying to be egotistical or something, ‘cause like, I know I’m quite pretty, it’s just extra nice to hear someone you really like say something nice about you! Really like- because you’re my friend! You’re my friend so I really like you and like when you say nice things… Eugh…” Neige exclaims as he flails his hands around, talking so fast someone might have genuinely thought he took up rapping. Eventually he resolves into mumbling before covering his face with his hands and groaning. 

You can’t help but laugh as you half-heartedly cover your smile with your fist. This only causes Neige to glare at you– albeit it’s a glare with no heat behind it– as he gives you a light shove. “It’s okay, Neige, I get what you mean. Anyway, that should be everything, I should go to the next person now. Only two more and I’m free,”  you chuckle as you finish placing all of the photos into your binder. Your eyes find their way back to Neige’s and you feel your cheeks heat up again. 

“I suppose you should… Well! Thank you for helping me earlier, and for taking such lovely pictures of me,” Neige says as he suddenly averts your eyes with a small smile. 

“Right…” You continue to stare at him, neither of you making any move to leave, before impulsions suddenly take over you and you find yourself brushing back his bangs– even though there was no need for it. With wide eyes Neige looks back at you and you let your hand rest on his shoulder. You squeeze lightly as if it would be enough to convey your message before you begin: “I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

With his face being a slightly more reddish hue he nods and agrees: “Yeah.”

“Mhm, well… Good luck on the race then, I’ll be cheering you on,” you remove your hand from his shoulder as you smile at him. A little awkwardly he nods at you and you nod back before you find yourself on your way to find the next participant you need to take a photo of.

[fairyroses]

He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.

— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)

+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):

[cashmoneychiyo]

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun Chapter 149 © Cash Money Chiyo

... Or so I'd like to say, but we ended up having a tanuki infestation just earlier, which resulted in half the chapter getting eaten away and the remaining pages getting, erm, buggy.

Please bear with us while we chase these [redacted] away, and we'll have the chapter ready for you again soon (；￣Д￣)

[ducks-love-peas]

meanwhile, Crowley:

Good Omens 2 | ⭑favorite moments⭑ 2/?

[2aceofspades]

Further update...

I can't be stopped apparently...

Weak

[pearl-kite]

Will probably never draw those tattoos again (thank you duplicate layer 🙏), but I rewarded myself with pseudo-blacklight.

Anyway, I'm calling this done, I only started it in August (￣y▽,￣)╭

[pastelaspirations]

I’ll never forget you babes 😭💔😔🥺

I finally come back to tumblr and t h i s is what I see. That's it, I'm done, I'm uninstalling tumblr. Bye everyone, it's Honey's fault-

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[loverboybrightsideghost]

one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.

[blackaleycatt]

Wild Kratts Headcanons: Aviva and Zach

Aviva and Zach became best friends after science camp and remained friends up until college.

They made friendship bracelets and everything.

They still had their academic rivalry going in high school but it was more light hearted.

They would do almost everything together. (Homework, eat lunch, work on inventions)

They went to the same high school and both graduated early.

Zach's parents put a lot of pressure on him to be the best which caused strain between his and Aviva's relationship.

She felt like he started to look down on her.

I don't know if they would go to the same college but I can see them as room mates.

Zach's parents paid the rent so Aviva did most of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. (Mostly because Zach didn't know how lol)

Aviva met Koki in one of her college classes and they became close pretty quickly.

Zach was VERY jealous of Koki. He felt hurt because he thought Aviva was trying to replace him with her.

Aviva tries not to mention any one from her school because Zach would get very upset and it would always lead to an argument.

The thing that sent him over the edge though was when she became friends with Martin and later Chris.

Zach felt like she was betraying him.

They started arguing daily.

Zach would be passive-aggressive with her. Like if she were to come home an hour later than she usually did, Zach would be like "I guess since you have new friends you don't have time for me anymore".

Aviva would be petty and ignore him for days at a time.

Like she'd leave a note on the fridge saying something like "i'm not gonna be home tonight. If you get hungry you better order something or figure it out." while she would be staying over at Koki's dorm.

After graduation Aviva basically texted him saying that their friendship wasn't going to work anymore and cut all contact with him. She was too scared to confront him directly.

She still regrets it low key but she's also glad she has new, non toxic friends.

Zach is heartbroken and furious, feeling like the Kratt brothers took away his best friend.

[applestorms]

i was just gonna leave this as a comment, but my response started spiraling sooooo. guess i'm makin' this a full on post lol =3=" uhh anyways, responding to @skyborneveggie's tags on this post:

#really good analysis #always here for high-functioning depression light takes #i want to add; while Light is better at reading & manipulating people in the moment he also tends to overlook some things in the long run #because of his superiority complex #like his father volunteering for the eyes in matsuda's place #and matsuda in the ending. As much as i like to think of matsuda as wholesome- #-i do think if light played his cards right he could have manipulated him over to kira's side #but he didn't because he didn't think matsuda was important in the grand scheme of things

very good points!! about matsuda in particular— it’s interesting in retrospect how consistently he’s set up as a side character, particularly with how he is almost always immediately pushed off to the side despite that. like, alongside soichiro, he’s really the first member of the JTF we see pre-lind l. tailor (in the anime, anyway. in the manga it’s a bit more ambiguous, though matsuda definitely shows up to mention KIRA bringing the crime rate down in ch.3, still quite early).

he’s always the one counterpoint within the group, playing devil's advocate in a way with how he brings up the pro-KIRA side of things, yet as you say light underestimates him So consistently that he even ends up evolving into a full on joke/shakespearean fool character by yotsuba, which is really what makes his actions in the end so incredibly significant.

i distinctly remember reading that section where aizawa & mogi are getting more deeply involved with near and, in the case of aizawa in particular, are starting to genuinely consider the possibility that light might be KIRA, and just getting sooooooo so SO goddamn suspicious of what matsuda was doing. this was in part because i already had some spoilers about the ending, specifically about matsuda shooting him, but goddamn do his actions start looking suspicious when you begin taking him seriously as a threat. like, while aizawa is starting to live through his own psychological horror novel come to life, realizing that the innocent kid & strong leader he's been taking care of & following all this time might actually have been the fucking serial murderer they've been after for literal Years, here's what matsuda is up to in the background:

(light's face here. fuckin freak LMFAO)

(this one is particularly notable to me as it shows that even aizawa underestimates him— it's not just light, it's the whole damn team. even ryuk joined in earlier.)

(and of course, my absolute favorite example. the contrast between their expressions alone here is absolutely golden all on its own, but matsuda's heartfelt "don't worry, light!! i'll never betray you!!!" in comparison to THIS only makes it all the more juicy:

like, light doesn't even bother responding to him until he's got a goddamn bullet in his hand. he just sits there confident in the expectation that matsuda will lick his soles like a dog. jesus fucking christ.)

anyways, as i was saying: he's mostly just doing a bunch of dumb shit, making silly jokes in the background, fucking around with ryuk and being written off as an idiot by most characters, especially light but again also aizawa and ryuk. AND YET. he is Always hanging around over light's shoulder, lurking somewhere behind him in almost ever panel he shows up in, perfectly innocent to the point where it's can almost be more off-putting than if he were outwardly, actively questionable. like, this panel in particular, and i mean goddamn, just look at it again:

it hits So Hard in retrospect, not just because matusda is the one to shoot light in the end, possibly being his cause of death had ryuk not stepped in when he did, but also because it's true. as incredibly fucking suspicious as this panel may seem if you are armed with the knowledge that matsuda does, eventually, end up being the one to shoot light, it's equally easy to write it off as normal dumbass matsuda behavior because that is Exactly What It Is. and you would be right!! matsuda is trusting of light to a fault— when he eventually breaks, it is Not due to his own betrayal. it's the evidence of light's. and not just of his manipulation of the task force, for years and years and years on end— it's soichiro's death specifically that finally makes matsuda lose his faith in him.

the idea that light could've manipulated matsuda over to KIRA's side had he just tried a little harder is fascinating, but i think i can also understand why he didn't exert any more effort— it was kinda unnecessary. for basically the entire story, from the moment matsuda is formally introduced, to the minute light breaks and admits he's actually KIRA, matsuda is one particularly dedicated conversation away from being a full-on KIRA supporter— or so light believes, anyway. and he's probably not that far off.

really, i'm of the opinion that it's matsuda's existence as this KIRA-sympathetic figure in the task force in the first place that causes light to believe so strongly that he could eventually convert the entire JTF over to the side of KIRA— possibly even saving all of them their lives in the process. like, as i've said before, for all that light monologues about how he's Definitely Going To Kill The Task Force, Don't Worry, I Can And Will Do It When I Have To, he. never actually does it. instead, light goes through all the trouble of keeping the JTF strung along behind him for more than half a decade following L's death, holding on to all of these strings of his former life even when they are almost undoubtedly more of a pain than they're worth. unable to kill his father, unable to kill misa, unable to kill matsuda— even when he directly tries to.

i forget which post this was on, but i believe someone pointed out before that potentially a major part of light's grief following soichiro's death comes from the fact that he springs a shock on him at the last minute before passing: soichiro never stopped suspecting his son. when he sees light's lifespan above his head his first thought is to be relieved, because the question he's held at the back of his mind for Years has finally been undoubtedly assuaged. light is desperate to believe up until the end that he can make the world truly and genuinely pro-KIRA; his final actions in the moments of clarity before he starts begging at ryuk's feet for his life involve an enthusiastic speech as he makes one final bid at converting the JTF and SPK to join him and believe in his vision of Justice.

and yet. he never quite gets mastuda.

never bothered? or never could? perhaps a bit of both, but it's a fascinating character progression nonetheless, and easily one of the most interesting arcs in the series. poor, poor mastuda, indeed.

sidenote: this is a somewhat half baked thought, but i can't help but make a somewhat minor connection between light's treatment of matsuda and his treatment of misa, as well as his relationship with takada. like, let's think through the list of his main (human) supporters throughout the series, the ones who end up taking on the title of KIRA themselves: in the first half, misa, in the second, takada & mikami. if we add matsuda to this list, we get two mirroring pairs: misa & matsuda for the front half of the series, takada & mikami for the latter.

light's treatment of each of these pairs is quite different, despite the fact that they all essentially fulfill the same purpose to him: misa & mikami act as KIRA's eyes, killing those light is unable/unwilling to himself, while takada & matsuda fill the role of KIRA's spokesperson, albeit to very different audiences. thus each half of each pair executes a different side of KIRA's ideology: misa & mikami the practical side, becoming killers themselves, and takada & matsuda the persuasive side, pointing out the positive influences KIRA's actions have had on the population to The People and the rest of the task force respectively.

it's not quite as simple as i've laid out here, of course— tadaka eventually ends up killing before she dies at light's hand herself, misa lives as light's partner until she loses her memories and never quite recovers, mikami becomes quite static, just playing at a killer for Appearances, until his actions eventually end up accidentally betraying light and leading to his downfall. yet it still seems notable to me that despite light treating takada & mikami noticeably better for the majority of the time that he's working with them, those two are the ones who eventually end up dead, betrayed and betrayer respectively. yet, in the case of misa & matsuda... for all that light degrades them and treats them like shit, those two are the ones that get to live on past him while remaining stubbornly loyal until the end, until light's own actions twist back and smack him in the head.

i think perhaps part of the reason why light never ends up converting matsuda is not just his own ego blowing Shit outta proportion and assuming that matsuda will either very easily convert/is too much of a dumb liability to even bother with, but also light's own discomfort with having followers at all. like, it really takes him that full time skip to get fully on board with the idea that people will Submit to KIRA, despite the fact that he logically must know how necessary that is. light wants the recognition and love and commitment of other people, but he doesn't necessarily want the responsibility of their own stupid actions— a sentiment perhaps reflected in how easily he kills criminals, seeing their "evil" as something to be Purged, an annoyance just as much as a liability for the happiness of the Good, Pure People of the world.

as i've outlined before, misa is the main person who's enthusiastic submission consistently gets on light's nerves and icks him the fuck out, but i can't help but wonder if this same reaction applies at least in part to his distaste of matsuda. it's easier to get away from matsuda at least, considering he doesn't have to play the Good, Heterosexual Boyfriend around him, but that doesn't mean it isn't still somewhat present either. this also gets interesting if you start considering lawlight dynamics during yotsuba as well, and L's similar (if somewhat more overt, even) dislike of matsuda during that era BUT. that'll perhaps have to wait until another essay lolol =3=

[ban--tam]

yangtober day 1: ova yang

[claitea]

just one of those nights again (thought about n so hard i started Physically feeling sad like theres a weight on my chest)

[feezee223]

Back with the star wars dragons yayy

This time it's Ezra but skywing =3

[naamahdarling]

.