#I didn't know this was a physics course
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stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff
and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing
like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)
stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context
while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands
ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is
idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok
#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#stan twins#as for the 'still on your mind' thing to me its stan literally thinking about bill despite ford resolving to move past it#or alternatively me on my same coin theory obsession lmao#me yelling and screaming at ouroboros being used to link to the axolotl and bill and how ford didn't actually keep it#which brings up even more questions about it reappearing in the shack when stan takes over#of course even if him realising about reincarnation being a thing i think its still way less to deal with than his actual issues#something something a same soul doesnt mean much when he already proved himself a better person a million times over#idk my thoughts on reincarnation as a concept is like eh??? anyway#also completely unrelated but stan writing fanfic means he knows what soos meant when he was talking about stan fics#soos seems like a gen fic writer especially with the ones we got as those promos#the train one where he comes up with a giant backstory for the setting that has nothing to do with the fic bros is super funny#but meanwhile we have stan the canonical smut writer who had to be writing it that summer#would he be a self insert shipper? would he projecting on the duchess instead? is he both???#i have many questions#then again judging from hows theres a wedding scene that he got super emotional over he might just be a shipper????#this has nothing to do with my original post#...or does it cos the axolotl last appears reacting to stan freaking out about count li--#anyway if you think this post is longer than my usual its cos i physically made myself delete most tags and put it in the actual post
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thumbs 'n reference sheet for this--i started to give up on Porky by the end of the ref because looking at him too long was making me laugh at how dumb and frumpy he looks next to Petunia. which is the entire point!
#that's why her hair has highlights in the comic but his doesn't to sort of make it look more like a cheap shitty wig LMAO#and i originally wasnt gonna have Porky do a wig take but a) it;s funny and energetic b) it's a nod to Eatin on the Cuff with the black#widow and c) more effectively sells the 'after' where everything falls to shit#so the one panel where you see the wig price tag and nothing else was gonna originally be my only acknowledgement of that#but i kept it in anyway even with the take because it's funny to me LOL#i've had 3 people mistake Porky for Petunia so far 🥲 i wasn't even gonna give her eyelashes at first#i incorporated her bow motif to her cape but unfortunately the physicality of the posing didn't really give that away/you only know by#looking at the ref#im not often proud of my art but i really like this comic since i got to combine so many of my favorites into one#pig(s) snd duck. TDTEBU. (original) Snow White. illustrative pieces. stupid out there humor. energetic expressive drawings. softer drawing#and of course making Porky's life miserable sorry Porky#NEWAY thought this'd be interesting since i never draw ref sheets for my art outside of work#i shoulda kept the crying Daffy in the one panel .. damn#tdtebu#not bad for a guy that never took a lesson in his life!#lt
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something something au where recently divorced but still extremely closeted trent walks into a bar owned by beard and frequently bartended by ted
#thinking of so many facets to this. bartender ted works shockingly well on multiple levels#trent being both divorced and closeted bc Some Shit Is Going On There#something something the divorce was kind of messy but more just exhausted on both sides#neither understanding or willing to admit what exactly is going wrong#trent being like oh shit. i'm fucking. super gay. is actually kind of a relief to both of them even though#for a hot second she fully thinks he's making it up in a misguided attempt to make her feel better/make himself look better#anyway just the idea of trent wandering into a bar post divorce when it's not his day with crimmlet#feeling awful and exhausted and lonely#and more snappish than usual--his coworkers have noticed he's even more biting and standoffish than before--only to realize#a) this is a gay bar b) the bartender is really nice c) oh no he's gay for the bartender d) WAIT IS HE GAY#something something trent previously both deeply closeted and deeply convinced he is generally unattractive/adequate at best#has no idea how to handle multiple gay men hitting on him#some of them are drag queens. many of them are not.#trent blushing so hard his face feels physically hot when some bear flirts with him very explicitly:#oh. oh i didn't know it could feel like this????#and then there's of course the handsome bartender who is very very nice and sweet and trent's developing a megacrush at mach speed#but also feels kinda bad bc he is NOT gonna hit on a bartender. being gay does not change the rules of#flirting with someone who is on the job liek that--who has to be nice to you and cannot leave#is Bad and Rude. meanwhile ted has been making eyes at this newcomer all night and beards like man take your break i will man the bar#you keep forgetting to attend to everyone else bc youre too busy watching newbie twirl his hair at you#anyway the point is. unhappy closeted recently divorced trent accidentally walks into a gay bar#and walks out shyly glowing newly out and with the bartender's number. great bar 10/10 he's going back all the time#man is literally sitting at the bar with a sprite just talking to his bf while they're lovingly harassed by the regulars#about taking notes from lesbians with how fast they fell in love lmao#tedependent#gertspeak#tedtrent
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(wakes up from a weird dream) (immediately opens tumblr) whcih borderlands characters went to colleg.e
#Magoriginals#txt#all ceos have college education I think. but Wainwright especially Inthink the jakobs would value him going to study#so he doesn't become a dirty communist. it did the opposite and now he's exactly that#all Katagawas graduate with a major an d a minor becaise Katagawa sr is that kind of demanding bastard. none of them leave with good memory#I think Roland would've gone to college before getting drafted. he would've loved literature. sorry about the unstoppable horrors bro#Amara graduated twice (physical education and then something in public services which immediately radicalizes her into a vigilante)#she didn't pay tuition because they got scared of asking her for any money#Maya doesn't have formal education cuz she kinda got raised in the Order. but she does know a whole lot about Sirens and stuff#Tannis graduated so many times they had to ban her from trying to get more degrees. one because it was getting absurd and two because#the dahl budget was running out /joking#she knows a whole lot about sciences and ancient history of course shes a showoff like that#Borderlands
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it's a promise
#i'm too lazy today i don't wanna draw much#before you think i'm an asshole no of course i didn't edit the actual wiki#i wanted to draw a comic about this#but there won't be a ton of their interaction#by interaction i mean physical ones#why haven't i drawn them hug that should've been the first thing i do#...i mean i kinda did that but gauss didn't actually touched volt and i need them cuddling together#maybe later#i don't know if that later is 15 minutes away or a few weeks away#warframe#warframe volt#warframe gauss#warframe gauss prime#my art#(kinda)#(definitely low effort tho)
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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
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Your deep dive of ttpd was amazing💕 I just have one question. First off I despise MH and second I don't hate JA but I think he is a very depressing man who doesn't know what he wants out of life. Question is when TS performed at the 1975 concert with anti hero, were they involved then ? I am terrible at time lines not that it really makes a difference when he started to play her but he is so despicable I just wondered if they were together then.
Hi anon,
This is delicate and I'd also like to caveat that I am not privy to Taylor's personal life, nor is anyone else on the internet, so I can't speak in absolutes.
But going from the story she's laid out in TTPD: it's not necessarily likely they were physically involved at the time of that concert, but there were at the very least complicated emotional entanglements by then. IIRC in some article at the time of their relationship, someone (maybe Jack? idk) confirmed that they reconnected as friends (after years of not speaking) through Jack when he and Taylor were finishing Midnights in 2022 (and Jack was producing The 1975's album, hence the connection). I can't remember where I read this, but someone pointed out that Taylor and Matty were rarely if ever actually on the same continent until he showed up for Eras because of his band's touring schedule. But also don't take my word for it because I pride myself on knowing as little about him and his band as possible lol.
So like, the story we "know" is that they got involved for real when he showed up at Eras in Nashville in May, because he'd been on tour most of the year before then. As far as we know, Taylor and Joe broke up sometime between Arlington and Vegas tour stops in March of 2023. So there's at the very least murkiness re: the emotional affair, which she all but outlines in Guilty As Sin? and How Did It End?, but beyond that, what we know is what we she's shared in TTPD and what we saw play out.
TL;DR: there was probably risky (and ill-advised) flirtation happening at the time of that concert and an emotionally intimate relationship, but beyond that, we don't know, so I'm taking Taylor's word for it unless she offers other information in the future.
(Frankly, I also think if they'd been physically intimate at the time, Matty would have had no problem bragging about being "the other man" after the shitstorm in 2023 because he is the type and the fact that he hasn't leads me to believe they weren't, but I digress.)
#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey#Anonymous#joever#*written in invisible ink* i think he started pursuing her sometime in 2022 by getting close to her through their shared music interests#then through her sharing what had been going on in her life and him using that to love bomb her at a very confusing time#and while she was already at the breaking point of ending things with Joe by the time tour started#i would not be surprised if matty pushed her to rip the bandaid off because the timing of it#was convenient for him because it happened to be when he was on break from his tour#and could physically be with her#but of course this is all speculation and reading between some lines so you know -- don't take any of this as gospel#just the musings of a fangirl and someone in their 30s who has seen this happen to varying degrees irl lol#cause i know that it's delicate#*more invisible ink* I'm leaving room for timelines being more fluid/murky than what we've heard on ttpd#so that's why i'm not saying they definitely didn't have an affair before she broke up with joe#but also: she confesses to so many things on ttpd that if they had had an affair I think she'd have been open about that too#but while she cops to the emotional affair the whole point seems to be that it wasn't physical until they met after the breakup#and it was so Bad so quickly that the thrill wore off extremely fast#(I could make another joke but it's crude so I shan't lol)#so again: i'm taking taylor at her word because i hate the take that she's a liar and don't want to contribute to it#but also acknowledge that omission is not lying so there are things we may never know#muses acquired like bruises
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I'm about halfway to two thirds through You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, and asdjasdlkajsadjal
The reveals, the implications, I can't even - mentally I'm rolling on the floor frothing at the mouth. I want to go back and listen to season 3 and season 1 all over again, holy shiiiiit
#viv18chatter#within the wires#you feel it just below the ribs#bless my library for having such a great collection#did not expect to find a book written for an alternative history podcast in its repertoire#but have it they did! all three versions I might add - physical digital and audio#anyways point is shit is really coming out now and I am loving the fictional tea#both from the ''actual'' autobiography and the side implications of the footnotes and interludes#well in between wanting to shake the fictional authors of said footnotes and interludes lol#''edited for clarity'' edited HOW? Was the writing smudged or otherwise unclear and you made your best guess?#did you change words around that YOU thought didn't make sense?#TELL ME WHAT WAS EDITED DAMMIT#and that's not even getting into the VERY opinionated footnotes and interludes#I know it would be expensive and tricky to make#but man I would love if the authors were able to make a special edition of this book#that looked like the actual manuscript#or like ... the one that was released in-universe that was being beta'd by the publishers - so we see the handwritten pages with smudges#the faded typewriter pages#with the publishers notes etc all over it#oooh stretch goal of the internal communications while going over the manuscript would prbably be a fun aside too#sometimes I wonder if there weren't multiple people making footnotes (though only one making the interludes I think)#because sometimes they vary quite wildly in tone#that could just be situational of course#but still#interesting thoughts
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an edek themed collage 🪲
#not me posting this just to have an excuse to talk about him more aaahahhhah#i've created edek approx 4 years ago and since then he went through little to no design changes#he is jus flawless. perfect#his personality however.. oof#i mean !!! he's not a bad guy#as i mentioned before he's very friendly and open to new people and opportunities#its just. he was based on my (now) ex best friend#me and that friend were close during primary school and despite me moving cities we managed to keep this friendship going#but you know. it wasnt the same. it became long distance#and i think i manifested my longing by creating an oc that was based on his aesthetics and personality#it took me some time to realise that i've been viewing this friend through lens of this oc. that of course lead to idealisation#because he wasn't physically there with me i created an imaginary version of him in my head#it was also because at this point we were getting older and slowly growing apart#and i think i wanted to grasp a little part of him that would still understand me#edek's relationship with ryba was also heavily influenced by this relationship#and. well. the things that my ex friend and edek have in common are short temper (despite acting chill) and trouble showing affection#he also tends to say things faster than he can even think them through#oh and he enjoys long walks through the woods and mountain hiking and bicycling and bugs and mushrooms and. yeah#and the other traits!!!!#he is suuuuuuper protective of his loved ones especially his younger sister irenka#his interest include everything thats fantasy and with folklore themes#hes also a stoner lol#aaand a funfact - he and zbyszek (of dycha za zbycha!!!!) used to be friends in childhood but they aren't friends as of now#why you might ask? from edek's pov zbyszek and his family just randomly disappeared#and edek was the only one that wasn't in on the fact that they have moved to the usa#edek wondered why his best friend at that time didn't tell him such important news#and often thought that there mustve been something wrong with him or zbyszek didn't actually like him that much#this incident heeeavily influenced his perception of relationships in the future#OH AND ALSOO hes an artist he graduated art hs with a degree in graphic design and is in college for the same thing#original character
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Feeling really old because everyone's talking about buying the digital versions of textbooks and I'm sitting here with my physical textbooks
Like how do you not skim when reading a pdf?
My brain doesn't have the capacity to do that and information from pdf textbooks just cant stick in my brain
Has anyone else ever had this problem or is it just me?
#I know I'm not old because I like physical textbooks better then pdf ones#but it just feels weird that everyone seems fine with pdf ones while I've just always struggled with digital textbooks#I get that it's probably better for the environment#but I'd like to prioritize being able to stay in my program and not get pushed out in first year because I didn't meet the minimum grades#for the required courses#I just feel weird about it though#NOT GIVING INTO THE PEER PRESSURE OF GOING DIGITAL THOUGH#My needs when it comes to learning are far greater than the need to fit in
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went to milan last week and brought back some italian little guys :D
#and a little birb bc i've never seen a swan plush before so i had to take it home as well 👀#(normal things to buy when abroad hsjks)#alright but manga in italy is so RIDICULOUSLY inexpensive#i mean. yeah they're in italian and i'll have to rely on the power of the mutually understandable latin languages family#but still. wow?? great place. pretty buildings. amazing food. so many people. extreme heat. is that a bookstore? wonder where the manga is.#oh upstairs? oh there's an ENTIRE floor with endless manga?? RARE manga appears to be mainstream here???#IS THAT THE LEGENDARY NON-EXISTENT KAITO KID PHYSICAL MANGA HOLD ON#<- next thing i know i'm out of the store in a daze#checking to see how much it cost bc who on earth checks the price first when it's THE KID MANGA IN THE FLESH (paper?)#and i gasp out loud bc i got THREE volumes - that i frankly never even thought i'd ever see - at a price that here would buy 1 (one)#though interestingly enough i didn't spot a trace of bsd in any of the stores 🤔#also mystery boxes seem to be a thing? of course i had to try my luck as well - first sxf merch in the bag :D#and my melo even though i know next to nothing about the sanrio characters-#but well. in the spirit of jochum i think of them as the honorary internationally-available cousins#last but not least thank you kyotag for the travel tips and tricks! much appreciated. beautiful country. my camera roll is screaming
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Tomorrow, I have to go visit my parents for 4 days because my mother's birthday is fast approaching, pray that I do not kill myself while there
#it's like i kinda don't care but also i feel physically nauseous for some reason#idk it's made worse by the fact they're all going to ask questions I can't answer#'hows school going' well i haven't been there in a while. not to the lectures that matter anyway.#'what did the doctors say' nothing because they're on a vacation. or someone's sick. or they just don't have time.#'what have you been up to' avoiding my life mostly.#'what happened' you. I'm afraid it's you. I'm afraid i have to look at it and I'm afraid that what's wrong with me has your face.#and I'll never be able to tell you what's wrong with me; if something is; because the implications are clear.#the implications are accusatory. they say 'the doctors and i think you were bad parents; bad grandparents.'#and who's gonna get punished for those implications; huh? of course me.#i will never be able to tell you. I'd just get hit again. but I will have to look at you and live with that.#there's a sense of vagueness that you can excuse when it's something minor. you can avoid it.#you can be vague. you can acknowledge that your parents neglected or abused you and still look them in the eye.#it's vague. you don't remember it anyway. maybe you made it up. what does it matter. you don't feel anything about it.#it's not real and it didn't happen to you. it happened to someone who's long dead and you don't know what exactly happened anyway#it's vague. digestible. excusable.#but when there's something more wrong with you...there's nothing vague and nothing uncertain. there are things that#you just don't want to know about. specific things. concrete actions and words and events and those aren't#as digestible. it's hard to digest something you can picture. something tangible. it's hard to look in the eyes of someone#who did it to you. it's impossible. how are you supposed to caress the hand that takes?
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it's 1:42 AM and what if i am actually aromantic.
#long tags lol#like i desire romantic relationships. And love romance. and im not ace.#but i never know what it is actually like to love someone in a romantic light.#like. i want a lifelong partner and someone i can like have in the first place in my life#and that has me as that as well#and. again im not ace.#but ive never actually had a crush?#just physical attraction and admiration towards people#and sometimes i want to kiss my friends. but remain friends. but be closer than normal friends are#but still i dont feel anything else? like are you SUPPOSED to feel anything else?#i just feel attraction towards people. sometimes really admire them as a person.#but i never have this different feeling from one specific person. i never feel like i could only be with THEM and to be all lovey-dovey#like it's weird. all of my relationships/talking stages i ended up feeling. disgusted at the other person when things turned romantic#like I didn't want it once it was actually happening.#and i hated my first kiss so much. i didn't want it i just did it for the other person#(they didn't force me at all they asked and i said yes bc I forced Myself)#i thought i was in love with this person actually. but i ended up not liking to be with them once it became Real#i just liked to fantasize about it#is that just having unrealistic standards?#am i overthinking this?#maybe one day ill just find someone and finally Feel It#but idk. it hasn't happened yet. and I'm turning 20 this year#it's weird. idk if im just scared of intimacy and shit#i don't think it's wrong to be aromantic. of course not. and I don't think it's necessary for someone to be in a relationship to be happy#but the idea that i will never be able to fall in love like they do in books and shows#just. scares me. and makes me really sad#i do want a partner. but i don't know if i will ever love them that specific way they would want to#idk. it's scary. im confused#lenn.personal
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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1 day no whining about that guy i didnt even date
#chatty catty#everythnig reminds me of him (talked to him today bc we're friends and that's what friends do. talk.)#yet another consequence of me being antisocial. he makes up 50% of my irl friends so of course i keep Remembering#looks around... remembering when we were at prom and his friend didn't want to dance so we danced and he kept spinning into me#and leaning against me and laughing and holding my hands and..... either i told him he smelled good or he told me but either way. god.#And the friend who wouldn't dance in question was his crush at the time.......#if i had a nickel for everytime i filled the role of this guys bf/crush id have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twic#Sorry im t4t gay and only know 1 other transgender in real life. the curse. the curse.#i dont want him anymore i just want what he gave me. romantic physical affection please please please please please save me
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WHO THE FUCK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT MY FINALS THE WEEK THAT COMES AFTER ARCANE ACT 3 COMES OUT 😭😭😭😭😭
#me studying fucking maths while everyone watches ekko save the world 😭😭😭😭#I didn't like this system before#imagine now#like no bro#I know I'm not going to study for history and philosophy because that shit is in my veins like#it's alright#I know my theory like I know myself#like UGHHH yeah#I love making long ass explanations on history thingies it's so fucking fun#and then there's#subjects like maths 😭#where I'm completely shit at#and like#repeat exercises lots of times#and draw mind maps#and THEN#my teacher decides that#instead of the two usual units#we're gonna do all six#this morning I've got scared in maths I swear#I was like 'what 🧍🏻'#and fuck#I've never been happier to end a course in my life#because after I end the ESO I won't do maths at school anymore#luckily enough this year I also don't have physics nor chemistry (best decision I've ever made)#anyways#I'm good at languages too#so not gonna study too much for those either#but yeah#maths are going to ruin my arcane marathon of Saturday 😭😭
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