#I didn’t like how Supergirl ended so I thought I’d fix that

[jjwestbay]

Thinking it’s about time I post some old work on AO3

[supercorpkid]

Alex Danvers (Aunt).

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 1920.

“Guess who got a call from the president of the United States yesterday?” Alex asks, sitting on the table, where your entire family is already waiting for her to have dinner.

“Let me guess,” Kara pretends. “Her husband?”

“HA-HA. Me. Obviously.” She goes on, unaffected. “She wanted to talk to the Director of the DEO, because she wants to give some medals to a few heroes.”

“Oh, so she called you but really she wanted to talk to me?” It’s your momma’s response, and everyone laughs at her.

“Sorta. But also, no. She wants to give medals to all of the Superfriends, including me.”

“That’s nice.” Sam squeezes her shoulder with a loving smile. “Congratulations, hun.”

“Thank you. But if you all don’t mind, I’d like to read the e-mail that was sent to me after the call.”

There’s no excitement in every one’s ‘ok’ and ‘yeah’, but Alex ignores it as she begins to read on her phone.

“Director Danvers,

Here’s a list of heroes we would like to be there to receive their medals. Please let me know which ones can attend.

Supergirl, Brainiac 5, Dreamer, Sentinel, Superkid,”

You get an elbow on your arm with a bright smile coming from Kara. You smile too.

“Miss Martian, Martian Manhunter,”

Alex continues, then raises an eyebrow before clearing her throat and adding,

“and Shadow Helper.”

“WHAT?” You spit out, along with your drink. You cough, and Lena pats your back so you can calm down. You still choke when you speak. “I made the list… TWICE?”

“It seems that way.” Alex smiles at you and you almost can’t see her, when Kara throws her arms around your head, squeezing you tight.

“Oh, Rao. I’ve never been prouder in my life.” She manages between her excited sobs, is she crying? “My baby will get two medals!”

“Thanks, momma.” You spit her hair out of your mouth.

“Congratulations, babygirl.” Lena gets in the hug too, you guess, by another pair of arms around your waist. “Guess Shadow Helper is a hero after all.” She adds, with a little bit of bitterness in her voice, and you know she means to badger Alex for calling you a vigilante.

“How?” Jamie says, and both of your moms let go of you so you can look at her. You try to fix your hair. “How are you getting two medals?”

“Umm, ‘cause I’m awesome?” You feel the need to defend yourself, although you do wonder how the hell you of all people are getting so recognized.

“Yeah, duh.” She agrees. “I mean, how will both Superkid and Shadow Helper be there at the same time to get their medals?”

“Oh.”

That’s a good question, indeed. Something you didn't consider at all. Still, with all the worrisome this question brings, you’re glad Jamie didn’t mean how you of all people could be deserving of two medals, when more important heroes like Supergirl herself only got one.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex says, getting you out of your thoughts. “We’ll work on something. An emergency that would require your help, maybe?”

“Wait, the Shadow suit… You can’t really see who’s inside.” Lena adds on your side, and you agree with your head.

“That’s true. Ideally both Shadow and Super would be there.” You look around on the table. You had your growth spurt, so you are a lot taller than most of the people sitting here. “Um, godmother, would you?”

“Oh, me? Really?” Sam bites her lips, clearly thinking this wouldn’t go this way and that you wouldn’t end up needing her of all people to impersonate a superhero.

“Just, you know, height wise.” You give her a pleading, forced smile.

“I can do it!” Jamie says with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. “I can wear heels and besides, no one ever saw a thing about Shadow, right?”

“Yeah,” Kara agrees. “And she will, you know, kind of disappear in a bit.”

“I will?” You furrow your brows. Then it dawns you, her comment from a few days ago. No, no, no. Don’t say it out loud. Don’t say it in front of everyone.

“Superkid as well.” Kara puts her hand on your shoulder and gives everyone a big grin. “It’s time she becomes…”

“Something’s burning!” You get up from the table and run out of the dining room and into the kitchen.

That’s a lie. There’s nothing burning. You don’t think there’s even something on the oven to burn. Well, you better do it yourself, then.

“Don’t even think about it.” Alex walks in the kitchen and sees you with a pan in your hands. Oops.

“I was saving you!” You try, earning a chuckle and an eye roll in response.

“Kiddo, you ran out of there so fast; I was scared you were going to stop in Gotham.”

“Shit.” You mumble under your breath. “Do you think they all-”

“Noticed? I’m gonna go with yes on that one.” Alex comes closer, leaning on the counter in front of you. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“No, it’s-” Then you think a little bit about it. “You know what? Yeah. I should talk to you. You didn’t want momma to become Supergirl and you don’t think I'm a hero, so maybe you have all the reasons why I shouldn’t take Supergirl’s name.”

“Wow, wow, wait a minute there. There are a lot of incorrect information in those sentences.” You raise an eyebrow at her. “Don’t go Lena on me.” She says about the eyebrow, and you smile. “I think you’re an awesome hero! The best!”

“Oh please, what about the whole ‘if you don’t work with the government you’re a vigilante’? Huh? That sure didn’t feel like you think I’m a hero at all.” You cross your arms. Guess you were bitter about it, and this came up as soon as you had the chance to. Oh, well.

“That wasn’t me! That was Director Danvers!” You can’t help another eyebrow raise. “I couldn’t be prouder of you, kiddo.”

“Please, aunt Alex, just be honest. You don’t think I could be Supergirl. It’s ok, really. Just give me the reasons why.”

“I think you would be an amazing Supergirl. And I’ll love to be on your side to help you with it.” Alex moves closer, holding your hand. “I’ve always known you would become Supergirl.”

“Yeah, well, that was always momma’s idea for a retirement plan, wasn’t it?”

“Not because of that.” She squeezes your hand, gently. “I’ve watched you grow into this strong, smart woman. You’ve done so much as Shadow Helper, and even more as Superkid. You’re a teen who’s getting two medals of recognition for your wonderful work. What makes you more deserving to have the Supergirl name than that?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you would tell me.”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Alex breathes out, like she is holding the biggest truth she’s ever spoken. “It’s hard. When you find that thing that makes you, you. And you feel that’s going to change the rest of your life. And you’re just trying to make sense of it all, and it sounds so complicated.”

You look up to her, and you wonder if she’s talking from experience.

“I’m just- What I’m trying to say, kiddo, is that you’re not alone.” Your aunt’s eyes are full of tears, and you notice you too are trying to keep yours inside. “You will never be alone. You were born to be exceptional, with or without powers, with or without this big brain of yours.” She pokes your head, and you smile at her. “So don’t hold back. Don’t do what other people expect you to. If you don’t want to be Supergirl, that’s ok. Tell Kara that this is not what you want for your life, and she’ll understand. But honey, don’t ask me to tell you why you don’t deserve it or why you shouldn’t be who you already are.”

You don’t know what you say. You think you’ve never had a bigger truth bomb dropped at you than this one. Is that what you’re doing? You’re waiting on people to tell you why you don’t deserve the Supergirl name just because you don’t feel worthy of it?

“Think about it.” Alex kisses your head, like one of your moms would do, and slips back into the dining room, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

“I should-” You hear Kara’s voice.

“Maybe Lena.” Alex stops her, and no longer than a minute later, your mom walks into the kitchen. You’re still in the exact same place as Alex left you, with so much on your mind, you miss Lena’s question the first time.

“Hey.” She touches your face, trying to make you come back from your own mind. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” You breathe out. Not fine. “Just a little surprised with, you know, the two medals I’m supposed to be getting.”

“Why? Superkid saved the world a few times.” Lena pulls you into a hug. “And I heard Shadow Helper assisted the police with catching one of the biggest drug dealers in the city, and more.”

“They both did that. You’re right.”

“Oh, I know. I’m always right.” Lena kisses your head, holding your hand. “Come on, let’s have dinner. You can worry about how you’re going to get both medals later.”

Turns out, it all worked out just fine. Shadow was never seen, and with your suit Jamie is unrecognizable. So she’s getting the medal for you, and you’re dressed in a new Superkid suit Lena had just made for you.

The suit feels weird. Tight. Limiting. And at the same time, empty. It doesn’t feel like yours anymore. You try to fake it with your smile, but the sweat on your forehead doesn’t lie.

“To Superkid.” You hear and break out of your thoughts. “A medal for helping the Superfriends save National City, whenever she was needed. Showing that heroism doesn’t come with age, but with heart.”

A medal is put around your neck, and you smile at it, while Kara throws her arms around you, looking as proud as she possibly could.

“To Shadow Helper.” You hear next. “Even though no one has ever seen your face, you’ve given hope for the people in National City, and the world. You are proof that no job is small enough, and that real heroes help whoever needs it.”

Your smile grows even bigger, while a medal is put around Jamie’s neck. You like those words. No job is small enough, and heroism doesn’t come with age. That’s 100% you.

You look at your mom in the audience, with tears in her eyes, and a big smile on her lips. Kara doesn’t even have to say anything for you to know how proud she feels. Then you meet Alex’s eyes. She gives you a small nod.

She doesn’t have to say a word. You see it all in her loving eyes and supporting nod. She is there for whatever you decide to do next, because she thinks you’re deserving of it all.

You let out a breath, and your most truthful smile comes to yourself. You are deserving of these medals, you are deserving of the Super name, and no one needs to tell you this. You feel it in your soul.

Let the future come. You’re ready for it, especially because you know that your family and friends will be there to support you along the way.

[i-am-robie]

For me, one of the most inexplicable things in s5 was Lena working with Lex—the rest of it I could mostly swallow because here is a woman scorned, a woman hurt, who can’t see past her own anger. Here’s as close as I could get.

[INTRO PICKING UP MOMENTS AFTER THE END OF 5.19 Kara and Lena are alone in the lab while the rest of the team tries to figure out their next move (I don’t really care how this happens, it just does for my purposes okay? I’m not a fucking script writer.)]

“I wanted him back.” Lena’s voice feels like a gunshot even to her in the silence of the lab. Kara is sitting across from her, tinkering with a table, but she looks at Lena as if Lena has shoved her.

“What?” 

“My…” Lena swallows, “my brother. I wanted him back.”

Kara stares at her. This is the closest they’ve gotten to talking about before since Kara made it clear to her that she didn’t want to have that discussion. And maybe that was only hours ago, but that was before she shook Lena’s hand, before she said she was ready to hear Lena’s apology, before she asked if Lena was ready to work with her again, and the only thing Lena wants in the world, maybe even more than for this never to have happened, is for Kara to understand why she did it. 

“He saved me, you know? I shot him, for…” Lena stumbles (you goes unsaid), “I killed him, and when the anti-monitor brought him back, Lex made a deal that I would—” she thinks about how to describe it. “Survive is the wrong word I think—but that I would be as I had been when you saved the world.”

Kara is quiet, her face stuck somewhere between wariness and pain, like she’s not sure where Lena is going with this but knows, instinctively, that it will hurt. Still, she doesn’t try to stop her and that’s all the invitation that Lena needs to continue. She needs to get this out so that at least—if Kara doesn’t really forgive her, if Kara never lets her back in (lets her back in the way she’d let Lena in before Lena understood what that meant)—at least Kara will know the Gordian knot that Lena tied herself into. And, maybe, she’ll see why it took Lena so long to cut through it, why it took Lena so long to see the truth, even if that truth is, in the end, so very simple. 

Lena clears her throat and steels herself to continue. “It was catastrophically naive, I know. I mean, I killed Lex to stop him. Why would I ever walk willingly back to him?” She swallows, but her mouth is dry and her throat feels like sandpaper. She fixes her gaze on the table in front of her. “But you have to understand: when I shot him, I wasn’t killing my brother. I was killing what he had become—who he had become,” she corrects herself, because Lex turned himself into a monster, but Lena knows enough to understand that monsters are men, too. “That’s how I could do it. How I did it.”

Kara remains silent when Lena looks up at her, it doesn’t feel like an invitation to continue, per se, but it isn’t a request for her to stop.

“And then I woke up in a world where he was a hero, where he said he had changed, where he was on your side. And I thought, I thought what if Non Nocere could save not just me or the world, what if it could save Lex?” There’s a pressure to her speech now, although Kara’s quiet, Lena is aware that at any moment Kara will cut her off. “Because sure, the world was fundamentally changed, history as we knew it had never happened, but that potential...it’s like physics.” Lena looks down at her hands, remembers the energy thrumming through them when it had occurred to her. “The potential energy of his rage, of his monomaniacism, his megalomania: it was all still there waiting to be expressed, like water behind a dam,” she lets out a bitter laugh and looks away again. “I never stopped believing that he was capable of horrible, terrible things. I just hoped that maybe if I worked well enough, if I solved it quickly enough, that I wouldn’t have to lose him twice. And maybe no one else would suffer.”

She feels unmoored. It’s a familiar feeling, really, the only constant since her world came apart. This feeling is what Hope had been about: creating something to keep her head above water, to keep her from drowning until she could learn to breathe underwater. Lena casts around the lab for something to anchor herself.

There’s nothing but Kara. 

“I didn’t lose him again, in the end.” She lets out a sigh, shakes her head. “I’d never gotten him back in the first place. It was an illusion. But...but I did lose someone.”

Kara brings her eyebrows together at that, a tiny crinkle forming to match the small frown on her face.

“You,” Lena breathes the word out. “I lost you, Kara...The first time was when I didn’t believe that you could love me and lie to me about Supergirl. Except that I could have gotten you back then, if I’d been willing to see you, to listen to you, to let go of the worst parts of myself. Because it was those parts of me that convinced me you were gone. And you weren’t. Not yet.”

“We—“ Lena takes a breath, twists her fingers together, the pressure just to the point of pain to ground her. “Our relationship would have been salvageable, maybe, if I hadn’t decided that a world that didn’t need Supergirl was the way to fix my hurt. And it wasn’t the right way, it never could have been; the stated goal of Non Nocere might have been about making it so that no one could hurt anyone else, but really it was about making it so you couldn’t hurt me again. You’re not the first person to hurt me.” She lets out a self-deprecating laugh because that feels like an understatement so enormous it really is almost comical. “Sometimes it feels like my heart has been broken by everyone I’ve ever loved—I don’t know why...”

Lena trails off because part of her does know why Kara is different, and she’s not ready to say it aloud (she’ll probably never say it aloud) but she can’t commit to the untruth. “I needed something that would protect me from you because I knew eventually I’d let you back in, and I didn’t trust you not to hurt me again.”

Kara opens her mouth, but Lena holds up a hand to stop her. “So I made horrible, selfish choices because at that point it didn’t matter what you thought of me. I imprisoned Eve and I stole Myriad and I used kryptonite on you,” her sins are pouring out, it’s nothing Kara doesn’t know, and Lena isn’t in search of absolution, but she wants Kara to see that she knows what she did, that she’s not trying to bury it or deny it or gloss over it, “and when Lex brought me in, I worked with him. And that led to the second time that I lost you because it caused you to give up on me. I rationalized, of course, that it didn’t matter if you thought I was just another Luthor, or if you thought me capable of the same atrocities that Lex was—is—because what I was working on would make it so that no one would be capable of that. Not me, not him...not you.”

“Lena, I—” Kara starts, but they’re interrupted as Nia and Alex clatter back into the lab.

“We’ve got to get to the fortress.”

[coeurdastronaute]

Atlas: Venus

Previously on Atlas

I was a billion little pieces ’til you pulled me into focus Astronomy in reverse It was me who was discovered In the highest tower, in the back, darkest lab, lit by only the few monitors of the wall of screens, the youngest Luthor sighed before digging her fingertips into the corners of her eyes and digging there, as if hoping to evict the sleepiness physically despite it being etched into the deepest parts of her bones and muscles. She leaned back in her chair and stretched her body only to find the cup of coffee that remained lukewarm and barely palatable. 

Only the light of her phone getting a notification drew her attention from the disdain she had as she took another swig of the wretched drink. 

She ignored that as best she could, hoping to hide away from the part of her life that always seemed to follow, and instead, shifted her gaze to the laptop with the CADMUS logo etched on the top of it. Her chair swiveled as she turned to face it, her fingers steepling in front of her lips as she clenched her jaw and felt the temptation to know lingering beneath the surface of her bones. Her whole body yearned. 

But it was Pandora’s box, and Lena knew what waited on the other side, in the darkness, if she were to peak inside the lid. 

But if she did open it, she would have answers. 

But if she did, she’d hate herself. 

But she already hated herself. 

But she could hate herself even more, she was certain. 

But if she didn’t, who would stop her mother?

Lena sighed again, her shoulders softening and her body giving into the defeat. The only thing that separated her from the sociopaths of her family was having a strict moral line of which she refused to cross. That was it. And it was a thin, thin, thin line. Terrifyingly slim, at the moment. 

With a moment of weakness passed slowly, agonizingly slow, Lena pushed at the laptop and stood, craving fresh air and some physical distance from the temptation that nagged at her and tore apart her willpower. In a turn of events, she found herself relating to Eve more and more, and understood how easy it was to bite the apple. 

But instead of looking again, Lena looked straight ahead and sought fresh air. She hoped to run into the darkness of the roof in the middle of the night, but as she pushed open the fire escape door, the grey sliver of sunrise began. She squinted against it and inhaled the dew and the stillness of a city waking. 

There was a secret on the roof, that Lena never shared with anyone, and that was the pack of cigarettes she kept hidden behind the telephone box, and it was almost habit at this point for her to grab one as she made her way outside, twisting it a few times in her hands before flicking the lighter and disrupting the dark and instead becoming another flash of light in the twinkling city. 

With a long first drag, she exhaled smoke into the clouds and leaned against the railing, surveying and seeing nothing, but enjoying the peace that came on top of the world and far removed from it all. It helped to step away from temptation. She had to, sometimes. 

The city faded after that, until she was looking at nothing more than the outline of her hand as it held the cigarette. She watched the red end burn down to nothing, as she found a kind of peace in just the feeling of warmth and the dancing of smoke as it joined the sky. 

“Shit,” she hissed after letting it burn too low, effectively burning her fingers before dropping the butt toward the city below. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, it wasn’t--” Lena paused as she kissed her own finger, sucking on the pain of the burn as if it would fix it completely. “Hello, Supergirl.” 

“Good evening, Ms. Luthor. Enjoying the fresh air?” 

“As much as I can.” 

Strong and firm, Supergirl stood there, allowing herself to land on the roof, still keeping herself at a distance from the CEO. She was close, but not too close, and that was enough. Lena just smiled softly to herself. She didn’t have much else to offer. 

“I wanted to thank you for your help the other day. I needed a better perspective, and you were able to--”

“It was nothing,” Lena shook her head. “Please.” 

“I don’t think we have to be on opposite sides anymore.” 

“Were we ever?” 

“I don’t know, maybe,” Sueprgirl offered weakly as she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “I hoped not.” 

Lena stared at her features, studying them, printing them into her memory so she could try to figure her out, as if that were an option. Sometimes, Lena was certain she’d be able to see the strong jaw anywhere and know it. She saw slivers of Supergirl everywhere. She saw her eyes on the street, she saw her lips at the restaurant across from her condo. She saw her hair in the park. But never at one time, and never all together, never in the perfect package that stood beside her presently. 

“I trust you completely,” Supergirl finally offered. 

It was becoming almost common, almost normal for them, Lena realized as she looked at the hero’s eyes. She was used to parts of her now, the parts that she didn’t see on TB, or in front of other people. For the first time, she wondered if their nightly rendezvous were completely accidental, or more ushered along by homemade chance. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” 

There came the scoff, the chuckle, the shucks and shake of a head as Supergirl took a deep breath and relaxed despite Lena’s latest proclamation. It was more honest than she wanted to be with the stranger who wasn’t nearly strange enough to be different. 

“I’d like to think we knew each other better than that,” Supergirl chided, childish and taunting. 

They stood closer than before, a feat accomplished over weeks and months and a grueling pace of millimeters. 

“I don’t even know your name.” 

It seemed to take her off guard, but Supergirl recovered swiftly, turning her gaze on Lena with something the CEO wasn’t entirely sure of experiencing before from the hero. Maybe she was debating the trust, realizing she really couldn’t do it. Lena shook her head and pushed herself up from leaning against the railing. 

“Have a good night, Supergirl,” she offered 

Lena made it three steps before she felt  a gentle hand grab her wrist. She felt her heart flutter and furrowed at the feeling, though she refused to turn around. 

“Kara.” 

It was quiet, it was the truth, and Lena held her breath until Supergirl dropped her hand. 

“Kara,” Lena repeated. 

“Have a good night, Lena.” 

In a breeze, she was gone again, and Lena was left with a name and perhaps a secret she was certain not many were entrusted to keep. 

“Kara,” she repeated again, testing it out. There were just more questions left to be answered now, because now Supergirl was a person, with a name, and maybe that was what her brother was missing all along. Maybe that was enough to keep someone on the side of good-- to be known, and yet unknown. To act magnanimously. 

XXXXXXXXXX

It was incredibly stupid, but Kara didn’t care. For the first time in her life, she really didn’t care that she’d taken a risk. It should have been something she considered, but she hadn’t. It just popped out. 

She didn’t tell her sister. That would have been suicide. She didn’t even want to admit it to herself, but she thought about it the entire flight home. She thought about how reckless and how silly it had been, and how great of a risk she’d put herself and her family in. 

But it didn’t matter. 

There was just something about the way Lena looked, how sad she was sometimes, and how desperate she seemed to be to do good and feeling painfully inadequate. There was a savior part of Kara that just couldn’t shake it. There was also a part of her that couldn’t stand to see Lena not happy, and chasing the feeling of her laugh, as distant as it was. Kara wasn’t sure why that existed, that need to make hear that laugh or see that smile. 

Kara sighed as she flopped onto her bed. Suddenly she was someone who was worried about a pretty girl and how to make her smile. 

XXXXXXXXXX

It took about three days for Lena to discover Kara, and not Supergirl. She didn’t want to believe it, and yet, there was the same jaw and smile. 

“I didn’t expect to run into the likes of you here.”

Lena held her breath because she knew the voice before she turned around in the barstool. She didn’t breathe. She twirled the ice around in her cup and pursed her lips before turning back into the woman on the balcony and not the sad sack washing away some misery at the first bar she came across after her most recent meeting. 

“No I, you.” 

“Are you going to turn around?” 

“I don’t think I will,” Lena said as she finally took another sip of her drink. “I don’t know why, but I can’t.” 

She was still and quiet in the middle of the bar. But Lena could still feel her presence, and she understood Lot’s wife a little, suddenly. That was the thought she had in her head, from all those years ago in private school chapel. It would change everything. 

“Could I join you, Lena?” 

That was the question. 

When Lena tilted her head slightly she saw familiar hands rooted on the back of the stool back. She saw wrists. She saw the tiny scar near her palm that intrigued her infinitely. But she didn’t move to acknowledge the girl behind her, just to order them both drinks. Politely, ever with her manners and decorum, the hero waited patiently while Lena watched the drinks poured and only nodded after taking another drink. 

“If I can buy you a drink, you may join me.” 

Before it could be rescinded, a body slid into the seat, stretching her torso to squeeze close to Lena, to crawl in as quickly as possible. Lena inhaled a distinctly Supergirl smell and felt her heartbeat thumping belligerent in her chest. Slowly, she followed the wrist to an elbow, and a loosely rolled sleeve hanging there. From there she moved to shoulder, to jaw, to lips pressed against glass, to those eyes. 

And he stared, unmoving, trying her hardest to comprehend it all. 

Kara put down her drink after making a bit of a face and adjusted her glasses. She offered a small, faint smile. 

“You look different at ground level.” 

“So do you,” Kara chuckled. “Is that all I get?” 

“I have a million questions, but I honestly don’t know where to start.” 

“I trust you.” 

“That might answer a third of them.” 

Kara shook her head and adjusted slightly. 

“I wanted to know the real you. To do that, I had to give you the real me.” 

The answer made Lena fidget as she adjusted slightly, recrossing her legs. She blushed slightly to see Kara’s eyes move to the hem of her skirt and follow her thighs. 

“But why?” 

“Because I trust you,” Kara repeated adamantly. “And I think you might want to get to know the real me, too.” 

“I will admit only to a minute fascination.” 

“I can work with minute.” 

“Infinitesimal,” Lena corrected. 

“I’ve done more with less.” 

Despite it all, Lena smiled to herself. She felt Kara shift closer and she suddenly found herself adjusting again and her cheeks bursting pink. She didn’t know that Kara could tell her heart was racing. 

“I’m happy to run into you, for what it’s worth.” 

“What brings you here?” 

“Oh, I was here with some friends. It’s our normal bar. I live close by.” 

“Hadn’t really considered you living anywhere.” 

Kara chuckled and Lena found herself searching every inch of Kara’s face. She saw the cut of her jaw when she tilted her head back. She saw the arch of her eyebrow and the slope of her cheeks. 

“Not as good of a view as your place, but I don’t mind. It’s home.” 

There was something about the way her biceps looked in the old flannel that hung from a shoulder, hidden but still there. And the shading near her clavicle and the tenderness of her hands. She seemed more comfortable in he brown skin, less stoic and less rigid. 

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your time with friends,” Lena sighed, looking over Kara’s shoulder, wondering who she might have been there with, wondering if they knew, too.

“You’re not.” 

“Are you certain--”

“Let’s get out of here,” Kara decided as she downed the rest of her glass. “I think you might need something to soak up your bad day.” 

“Ok.” 

XXXXXXXXXX

The way she liked ketchup on her fries, and how precise she was in opening every packet and squirting them into a big puddle. And there was the way she took a giant bit of her burger, careful to catch the tomato that tried to escape, carefully tucking it back in with the lettuce. Her face when she chewed and savored, relieved for all of the goodness that came with the greasy food. 

Kara stared unabashedly. 

She smiled faintly and ate another fry, careful to look away before Lena could accuse her of staring. 

“I have a nutritionist, you know,” Lena proudly announced. “And a private trainer.” 

“I’m sure you do.” 

“You can’t tell?” she raised her eyebrows, challenging Kara, and earning a slight blush. 

“I mean… you’re certainly…. Fit. It’s very, um, yeah-- noticeable-- that you, uh take care…” Kara shoved another fry in her mouth. She accidentally looked at Lena’s chest and blanched before burning alive. 

“I’ve eaten at the best restaurants all over the world, and I have to say. This might be the best bite I’ve ever had.” 

“That’s the whiskey talking,” Kara tried. 

Lena did this thing, she was learning, where when confronted with a statement she didn’t particularly agree with, she waved it off. Kara liked the way her hair tucked behind her ear. 

“Do you honestly believe that a few glasses is enough to take away my senses?” 

“I wouldn’t imagine thinking anything like that. You’re far too impressive for such things.” 

Kara smiled and took a sip of her drink as Lena took another large bite from her burger. There was something freeing in seeing Lena like this-- not drunk, not absent, but perhaps just uninhibited. It was late, suddenly, but they kept to their booth, enjoying their late night dinner. Kara didn’t even mind when Lena took one of her onion rings. 

Even when their plates were taken and their conversation continued with the refills, Kara couldn’t stop staring. She didn’t really want to. She pulled her knee up and leaned against the wall of the diner while Lena explained the absolutely boring and unproductive meeting that took up her entire afternoon. Kara was hooked. 

It was easy for Lena to switch the conversation to Kara because Kara liked the furrow Lena had when she asked questions, and she liked being honest, finally. 

“What about this?” Lena murmured, leaning forward and turning over Kara’s palm. She traced the faint scar on her palm. “I thought you were impenetrable.” 

Kara felt the hair on the back of her neck raise slightly. She gulped. 

“Oh.. um, this was from when I was a kid.” 

“Before you got here?” 

“Yeah, I fell. I used to fall a lot. Clumsy kid and all. It was a trip to the mountains with my parents, and uh, we,” Kara furrowed and for the first time, looked away. “I just tripped, braced myself, got a pretty deep cut.” 

Lena nodded and furrowed a little more as well, just as Kara shook the thoughts away and looked back toward her. Fingertips stopped gliding against her skin, and by the time she looked down at her expose palm and back up, Lena Luthor stood from her side of the booth. 

“What happened?” 

“You live around here, don’t you?” 

“I-- yes?” 

They made it outside of the diner and evening had put most of the city back to sleep for the night. The traffic was non-existent and those left guzzling burnt coffee were the nightwalkers, the ones who existed only on this schedule. 

“It’s down this way,” Kara nodded her head as she shoved her hands in her pockets. 

They went about three steps before Lena tugged Kara against the alleyway behind the dinner, gripped her shirt tightly in her fists, and kissed her. 

“Oh,” Kara whispered, unable to open her eyes. It was rough at first until they caught their breath, and then there was a gentleness, a rush of words against her lips. 

“Sorry--”

“No,” she shook her head. 

When she opened her eyes, Kara just saw Lena Luthor staring back at her, worried she’d messed it up entirely. She wretched her hands from her pockets and smiled as she cupped Lena’s cheeks before leaning forward and kissing her back. 

“Who is kissing me right now?” Lena whispered when she woke from the stupor. Her hands loosened slightly but still held there. 

“Me.” 

“Which is the real you?” 

“This one. Right here. Right now.” 

Kara watched as Lena flexed her jaw, clenching it and thinking it through. Their faces were so close they couldn’t see much else other than the other. Lena nodded.

Next

[beaureart]

15 Minutes (What If I Told You)

ANGST WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING. DO NOT READ FOR A GOOD TIME. This is a supercorp oneshot I wrote after I hear the title song. Very Angsty, you are warned. Trigger Warning : Angst, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Obiviously. This is pre-apocalypse.

11:27,

Monday, July 13th

Lena's Loft,

National City.

It was very unnoticeable at first. Solar flares from a nearby galaxy far enough that they didn't think much of it. A few explosions a couple galaxies down hardly warranted the DEO's involvement. Besides, Earth had different things to worry about. The Team had different things to worry about. Probably. Lena wouldn't know anymore, would she? After the Fortress, she had taken extra precautions to block every single one of them out of her life. She didn't need anyone. She just needed to save the world.

And to be honest? Lena was ashamed it took her that long to figure it out. It wasn't like her. The  Prodigy of her generation. The CEO of one of the biggest Tech Corporations in America. The sister of Earth's most infamous criminal mastermind.

If she had just gotten out of bed, checked any of her projects, called her secretary back. But she was too numb, too empty. Lying in bed, unable to move or think. Wishing to die. She couldn't even muster up the energy to lift a hand, it was just... pathetic.

After a week, Jess had had enough. It took Sam flying over from Metropolis to even get Lena out of bed. Sam had no idea about Kara, of course. But it didn't take long for her to march over to Alex's apartment and threaten her friend until the truth spilled. Lena had never seen that furious. Over Lena, of all people.

She didn't deserve Sam.

***

Sam had been pestering her all week. Bringing over food and staying with her every night. Lena felt like an asshole, taking up so much of her time. That was the main reason she returned to L-Corp after a week That was when she found out about the satellite malfunctions. Some radioactive signature was messing with their signals. That was fine, this was a problem Lena could fix, right? Easy.

Wrong. Turns out the signature was something her systems could recognize. Kryptonite. A giant chunky piece of Kryptonite and debris about the size of a small moon. A Krypto-Comet that was hurtling at half the speed of light from deep space, directly towards Earth.

Mondays, right?

Of course, she contacted the DEO immediately. They were horrified. For a Secret Government Agency handling the extraterrestrial, they had some shockingly bad tech. She wasn't really surprised.  Also, they might have been slightly distracted with Leviathan. Lena had spent the next three days cooped up in a lab with Brainiac 5 desperately trying to come up with a way to deflect it or destroy it, or anything really. Usually, an Anti-Kryptonite suit and Supergirl would have taken care of the problem real quick, but considering the size of the comet and the excessive amount of Kryptonite on it, it just wouldn't be possible. There was no time to call for back-up from Argo City either, with the satellites malfunctioning.

The last five days were utter chaos. Naturally, the news hit the public hard. It was pandemonium, but how could you keep a goddamn meteorite impact from them? The skies were already turning purple.

Lena however, was still in her lab. Over the course of three days, a complete whirlwind of people checked in and out of her lab. People she had never met before. People she had never even heard of. Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow. A scientist named Raymond Palmer with some very interesting ideas on molecular structure and shrinkage. Felicity Smoak. Alex pulled her aside during lunch to explain about the Multiverse.

What. Even. What.

Okay.

It felt like her brain was exploding, but she was their best chance of saving the planet. She had to pull it together. She can't show any weakness.

Alex called for another excruciating meeting the second day.

"Attention! I have some news." Alex exhaled slowly. "Sara?"

"I'm sorry guys, but it's bad. We were unable to prevent this event from not occurring. It happens rarely, but this can't be prevented by modifying the timeline. It's inevitable. We have to find other ways."

"What if we move your population to our Earth?" Harry? Larry? The guy in red spandex asked.

"More than half out Earth's population have doppelgangers in yours. It will mess with the balance of your universe. We can't move them. How about finding an empty universe?"

"Kara is out looking for one, but every Earth we found was either ruined or full. That's too long a shot, I don't think we'll find one in time."

"Well, theoretically-" Brainy hesitated - "My ancestors had a way of...dealing with planets that disagreed with them. They would shrink them down and have them as trophies."

"We can't shrink the planet, the gravitation of the solar system would collapse and we would fall into the sun." Lena muttered distractedly, fiddling with her pen.

"Let's not do that. Any luck contacting Superman?"

"Radio silence. The radiation is messing with communications."

"We could push it through a wormhole, or a portal, but-"

"The comet will be here before we could begin to build it. What if we transport our people to a different planet?"

"Seven billion people on a different planet without nearly enough food and water?"

"Or maybe into a space station?"

"We have four days. To transport seven billion people. And essential items."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work either."

"Okay, let's keep at it guys." Alex clapped her hands together. "There IS a way, we just don't know it yet."

***

Yeah, there was no other way. The days went by in a whirl. They came up with theory after theory, but it was too late. Their world was going to end. Nothing can stop it.

During the last day, Alex ordered every non-Earth-38 person off the universe. And even though there was some resistance, everyone sombrely agreed it was the best move.

A surprising lot of friendships were made that week. World-ending threats tend to do that, apparently. Lena personally never wanted to experience Nia and Zari Tarazi try to cook a pizza together ever again. They almost blasted the dough halfway across the DEO building and into the miniature Nuclear Reactor.

Lena would never, not in a million years, ever admit it; but she wanted what they had.

She couldn't fathom that comfort, that mutual understanding of trust that Nia shared with Zari. How did they build it? How could they rely on it, when they had been strangers only a week ago? How could you share your secrets, yourself, with someone who could potentially turn against you, someone who could be lying through their teeth like Eve was, someone who might hate you just because of a name that you can't change?

Not that anything could be done now. It was too late.

They were gathered at the DEO training facility off-city to say their final goodbyes, except Lena was at L-Corp. It took her a while to accept it, but this time it was real. There was no hail mary, no high stake final masterplan left in her. She was going to die, along with her planet.

So it was the perfect time to break out her finest bottle of scotch.

The L-Corp building was deadly silent. Any other day, Lena would have enjoyed it. The building was almost never fully empty, with the security team and the journalists and the interns who never sleep. Today it put her on edge.

Because she did this. Lena caused all this, it was Lena's fault. She was the reason-

'Alex.'

The tiny blue screen lit up on her desk, ringing insistently. The tech mogul was almost relieved that something interrupted.

The silence. Interrupted the silence.

Lena brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Lena!? Where the hell are you?" For a second, Lena relished the panic in Alex's voice. Of course, it probably was over the world ending, but she wanted to pretend that it was over Lena. That Alex actually cared about her.

"What do need me to do, Director Danvers?" Her voice was meant to be posh and clipped as always, but it came out slightly more drunk than she wanted it to.

"Wha-Nothing! I just couldn't find you anywhere so I thought I'd check up on you." Aww, Alex. You don't need to pretend, everything is gonna go to shit anyway.

"Is Sam still there?"

"Uh- Yes. Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Nooo." Lena considered it. "No, definitely not."

"Lena, are you drunk?"

Lena exhaled loudly. "Why did you call me, Director?"

"Because the universe is ending!" Lena cringed away from the phone. That was too loud for her sleep-deprived brain.

"I don't see your point." She huffed back.

"Goddammit. Look, Kara and I will keep looking for a solution, you don't need to worry, okay? You know she never gives up. Nia and the others-"

"Please just stop." Lena begged.

"I-Stop?" Lena could picture Alex's face. She hated that she did.

"I don't care! About anything, anymore. Just leave me alone. Goodbye, Alex."Sorry I pulled so much shit.

Lena switched it off and chucked it across the room, onto her couch. It bounced over the cushions and fell over.

She was alone, now.

"Hope?"

"Greetings, miss Luthor. What can I do for you today?" Hope was always here. Lena's only constant companion through everything. Even if it did wear the face of her traitor friend.

"You understand that this will be the last day?"

"Yes, miss Luthor-"

"Lena. Call me Lena."

The robot cocked its head to the side. Why did Lena program it so life-like?

"Lena. Would you like for me to call anyone else?"

"No, thank you. How long is it now?"

"Seventeen minutes and three seconds."

Lena cradled her head. It felt like her brain was swimming in the alcohol. At least she won't have to feel this tomorrow.

"Execute terminal orders and shut down, please."

"Executed. Goodbye, Miss Luthor."

The hologram blinked off. Lena swirled the last of the scotch in her glass. It didn't taste nearly as good as she hoped. She set it down in distaste.

God, this was all her doing, wasn't it?

If only Lex could see her now, pushing everyone away, alone and lonely on top of the empire that was built by her psychopathic family. Everything he said that day was true.

And it was all Lena's fault. Because she chose to trust Kara. She chose her new family. She wanted that. She craved that. Even when she knew she could never have it. She's always craved that. This wonderful 'family' she could love with all her heart. They would have been her people, they would love her no matter her last name. They would support her through hell and back. She fucking fantasized about how they would be there for her every birthday, about how she would shower them with love and affection, about game nights and road trips. She didn't give a shit about romantic, platonic, she just wanted someone to be there at the airport when she comes back from month-long expeditions through Europe.

It all seems so naive now. She was still here, on top of an empty building, because of her choices. Because of her stupid, stubborn pride. She must have chosen this, right? This is what she wanted. To be alone. Sixteen minutes from the world ending. She had chosen to be alone, bitter, angry at herself for doing what she had done.

Fuck, no.

But it was too late. Too late to accept her family, too late to enjoy them. Too late to save the world. Too late to apologize.

Too-fucking-late.

Fuuuuuuck, she messed up. What she wouldn't give to go back in time, find her younger self and...eughh. Berate her? Explain? Mug her? Lena had no idea.

This scotch tastes like shit.

Why is time so slow?

Tick.

Tock.

Her life is shit. She would like a refund.

Tick.

The alcohol is really getting to her brain, cause she found that funny.

Toc-

The entire floor rattled when the door flies open behind her. *

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Oh hey, Sam. You did come.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She crossed her arms, raising one brow at her CFO.

"Lena, no." Sam stomped over and wretched the glass away from Lena.

"Goddammit, leave me alone, Sam!" Why I am so shitty all the time Sam?

"No." She repeated firmly.

"What?"

"No. I should have done this a long time ago when I first got back here. I'm not leaving you alone, I'm not letting you drink yourself to death. I'm not let you wallow in your misery when the world is fucking ending and you still stubbornly refuse to put down your pride. I'm not leaving!"

She walked over to Lena's hidden break room and poured the scotch down the sink.

"But I-"

"No. Listen, you dumbass. You've been through some horrible, messed-up shit. Your brother almost destroyed the world multiple times. Your mother was a narcissistic fucking psychopath. I cannot even begin to understand how you feel most of the time. Having every move scrutinized by the world, feeling like you can't trust anyone."

"I trust you."

Sam paused. "I-What?"

"I trust you, Sam. You may be the only person who I can be myself around right now. And-And I know that isn't fair to you, me having constant breakdowns. I keep you from your life and Ruby and I hate it-"

"Lena!" Sam takes her hand. "You can always tell me about it. Everything. And I won't lie, helping you through your trauma isn't easy, especially since you refuse to meet a therapist. But that doesn't mean you can keep everything to yourself. It means that your pain, it matters to me. It is a piece of you that you have shared with me, and it isn't going to fucking evaporate the second I know about it. You matter. Your trauma matters. To me, and to everyone at the DEO. I want to help you." She inhaled deeply.

"And I can't promise that everything is going to be fine, I don't even know if we'll exist an hour from now, but I can tell you this. You don't deserve all this pain. That doesn't mean you don't have it. You are not responsible for what your family did, and you are not responsible for your mother's death. You don't deserve to die alone and at odds with everyone you love."

"Sam, but I-"

"And I'm sorry, I know Kara and the others messed up. But they love you. They are your family now. And I can't watch you punish yourself over this. Lena, it's time to let go."

Tears lined Lena's eyes. "I can't do it, Sam!"

"You can."

"I can't! I trusted Kara with everything. I shared every piece of me with her. Love and family were supposed to cure me! I made myself completely powerless, I was vulnerable, and she threw it back at my face. I cannot make that mistake again!"

"It's not fucking magic, Lena! Love isn't a cure-all. It doesn't mean everything bad that ever happened disappears! It only means that you aren't alone in your fight. Family and friendship, it  takes work! You have to see them, and they have to see you. And Kara and the others, they love you!"

"If they fucking love me so much, why do they keep hurting me? Why am I the only one who gets lied to?!"

"It not that fucking simple! Everyone there has their own stuff. We're fucking terrified all the time. And now everything we ever feared is happening, and we can't even fucking be together!"

"What, now you're on their side?!" Lena heard the words spill out her head as messily as she felt, drenched in bitterness and insecurity. "Should've known that you would turn on me too."

Regret fills her immediately, but Lena drops Sam's hand like a searing pan.

Fuck.

"How can you think that?" Sam's voice was quiet now. Her eyes, Lena realized, were also filled with tears.

This is it. This is the moment I chase away the last person who's ever cared for me. One last screw over that will be wiped after the comet hits. One more mistake in my endless list.

Sam raised her arms. Lena reflexively leaned back, her heart hammering against her chest. Shit. She knew how this goes. She's seen enough fights between Lillian and Lionel end. She could hear the resonating crack from almost two decades ago. Lionel might have loved Lena, but he wasn't all that kind to Lillian.

You deserve this. You failed. You failed to protect yourself,  failed to protect the universe. You are never going to be enough. You failed both your families, you failed yourself.

Warmth burst around her. Sam wrapped her arms around Lena.

What in the world... why was Sam hugging her?

Shit, this feels nice.

"Sam?"

"There are no sides, Lena. That's the whole point. You are a part of this family, and we will fight like hell to keep it that way." Sam stroked her hair. "We aren't perfect, we are flawed, we hurt each other. But we aren't alone. We love fiercely, and we have each other's back. We take care of our own. And you are one of us. We love you. We are here if you accept us."

Lena sniffled against Sam's shirt. A fierce rush of gratitude rushed through her. Sam has always been her rock, her constant for almost six years now. She's had her back so many times. Her best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam." Lena sobbed. "Shit, it's too late. I can't fix everything. I messed up. I messed the whole thing up-"

"Hey. There's still time." Sam drew back and swiped at her eyes. "You can still call Alex. We have... seven minutes left."

Lena nodded, biting her lip.

"Thank you, Sam."

She shakily dialed her phone.

"Alex?"

***

"Hi! Aunt Lena!" A little bundle of joy crawled into Lena's lap and gave her a hug.

Ruby.  She always meant a lot to Lena. Maybe because Lena never really had an aunt while she grew up. Maybe because her hugs were made of pure love; because Ruby is the most wonderful little human Lena ever met. Maybe because there was no tension, no tears involved. Ruby felt like hugging Lena, so she did.

It was the first time Lena cracked a smile in over a year.

"Hello, little monkey. Did you eavesdrop our whole fight?" She mussed her hair.

"Hey! I'm fourteen now. Not so little anymore." She carefully flattened her hair down. "And I know what swear words are, Auntie."

"Do you, now?"

"Yes!" She huffed. "Mom said she's making Mac and Cheese. She said your fridge was full of atrocious rabbit fodder and she hid about seventy percent of your kale." Ruby's voice dropped low and she whispered conspiratorially. "It's behind the eggs, don't tell her said that. Not that we'd be needing it anymore." She glanced sadly at the red skies.

"Are you okay, little monkey?"

"Aunt Lena, is there really no way to destroy the comet?" Ruby asked her.

Lena's heart broke. At that moment, she would've given anything to be back in her lab three weeks ago when they first found the comet. To have found a way out of this catastrophe.

She smiled sadly at Ruby. "I'm sorry, monkey. There's nothing we can do."

How do you tell a child that you failed her, that the entire world was gonna burn? That they were all going to die?

"It's okay, Aunt Lena. I love you." She kissed Lena on the cheek.

The elevator bell dinged and Lena could hear the doors open with a hiss. Her's mouth got just a little dry.

"I'm going to go help mom with the cheese. You should talk to them."

"Wait, Ruby-" she was gone. Great.

Lena exhaled shakily and got to her feet.

Here goes. Oh god. Why did I do this? This is a bad idea, shit. Shit, shit, shit. They still hate me why did I call them, they- Alex.

It was Alex. Suddenly, it wasn't the monsters that she was facing. It was Alex and Kelly and Nia and Brainy. Her family.

Alex stumbled forward first. "Lena, I-" She interrupted herself by crashing into Lena-"I'm so fucking sorry. I should've told you when the whole thing with Reign happened, but then Kara told me that she had to work things out between you and Supergirl, and then I lost my memories for a while-" Lena realized with a jerk that Alex was sobbing against her shoulder.

"-I feel like such an awful friend." Alex's voice cracked.

"Ale-Alex! Hey, it's okay." And for the first time, Lena really meant it. "I'm sorry too. I just felt-"

"Betrayed. I know. I'm sorry." She repeated, stepping away from Lena. She gave Lena a small smile. Smaller, but much like the one she gave Lena the first time they met in Kara's apartment. Tired, but it gives off so much warmth that Lena could feel it. It reminded Lena of all the times they spent together. All the days when they made small explosions in her lab and teamed up for game night.  When Alex took her to self-defense classes and showed her fancy tricks with her guns. She was Lena's best friend. She is.

"Brainy, Nia." God, it felt good to- Lena couldn't even describe it. She missed this. Her friendship with Brainy was one of the few things she treasured most in the world. He was the only one who could ever match her intellect, her best lab partner. Her friend. And to the lonely twelve-year-old genius from the Luthor family, that was everything. And Nia was one of the bravest people Lena knew, unafraid to be herself and face the world. Fighting every day for the greater good. And she was more than that, she was the one who taught Lena that she didn't have to hide who she was. Lena will be a Luthor her entire life. She just had to embrace it. Or as Nia had framed, quite eloquently; 'own it.'

Kelly, and her crazy therapy skills. Lena regretted not spending more time with her. She was such a wonderful person. Kelly was the silent rock of their group, Lena could see that now. She was always there and she knew exactly what to say. In Lena's eyes, she was magical. So determined in supporting her friends through everything. The sweetest, most bad-ass person out of them all.

Shit, Lena was crying now.

"No more little boxes, Lena." Brainy whispered in her ear, and she giggled. Even Lena was surprised by that.

He was right. No more boxes. She has three minutes left to live and she wasn't going to crush herself with the weight of her stupid boxes.

There was still one more person-

"Kara. I'm sorry Lena, she- couldn't make it." Alex squeezed her shoulder. "Barry's Earth- they don't have a Kara. She can live there and not disintegrate. I told her to go with him. I'm sorry, Lena."

Lena's lungs filled with lead.

"Yes, of course." Lena's voice sounded far away even to herself. "She deserves to live there, in peace. I'm sorry, excuse me."

Something akin to panic swelled over her. Anxiety? Sorrow? Feelings were not Lena's strong suit. Panic attacks, unfortunately, she's already dealt with. She backed away from the room, almost knocking Sam over in the process. "Uh- Bathroom."

The door slammed behind her, and Lena splashed her face with cold water.

She would never get to apologize, she would never even get to see Kara again. Her best friend. Her soulmate. And now, she would die without Kara knowing- knowing that-

Because Lena only ever hated herself. She could never,ever hate Kara.

She curled into a ball on the floor, trying to physically hold herself together so she didn't fall apart. She couldn't fall apart, not right now. Her heart was racing and her breathing was short and distressed.

"Lena? Open the door." Alex's voice, carried in through the door.

"I-I'll be right out!" Even Lena knew they won't buy it. She could hear her voice crack with emotion.

"Lena? You don't have to go through this alone, I just told you that." Her voice was soft, and Lena chose to listen.

"I know it's hard. I know you miss her, and I can't imagine what it must feel after everything that happened between you and Kara. It was difficult for me too. I'm leaving her alone, just like everyone else in her life. I'm leaving her and her world is ending again, and we can't do anything about it. I hate it. I broke my promise. She doesn't deserve this pain, and you don't either."

The door creaked open. Suddenly it was Alex surprised by the hug.

"Alex, I'm so sorry."

"Lena." Alex wrapped her arms around the small brunette. "Trust me, she knows. She knows that you love her."

Lena sniffed and pulled back.

"That's just it, Alex." Lena's voice grew softer. "She doesn't know that I'm in love with her."

"You're in love with me?" A small, hopeful voice echoed from the back of the room.

The blonde superhero stepped forward with the sunny smile Lena loved. "Sorry I'm late but, I bought emergency Potstickers." She waved a bag at the rest of them.

"Kara-" The word was out of her mouth before she realized it, but then it was Lena in Kara's arms and nothing else mattered. She buried her head in the Kryptonian's shoulders.

"Hey." Kara tucked a strand of hair behind Lena's mismatched eyes, and Lena fucking melted.  "You know, I've been doing some research." Her voice was low and breathy.

"Oh yeah?" Lena's eyes shined as bright as the red skies outside. Kara thought she could see the whole galaxy in her them.

"I think I finally know what Quantum Entanglement means." She rested her forehead against Lena's and smiled softly.

Lena's heart was racing. She reached up and caught Kara's lips in hers.

"I love you too, Lena."

***

"System error. Terminal order simulation failed."

Lena gasped and fell to her knees.

"Redirect operations to internal systems." She gasped, tears streaming down her face.

Just a few more, a few more minutes. Please. I need to hold her. I need to be held by her.

"Simulation failed."

"No! No, no, no. Please. Try again." Lena fumbled with her screen.

"Simulation failed."

"TRY AGAIN, GODDAMMIT." Lena cried, her voice full of raw emotion.

"Simulation failed. Shutting down. Thirty seconds left in final countdown."

"NO! I SAID FUCKING TRY AGAIN!"

"Twenty-five seconds."

The air was getting hotter. She could already see the streaks of green and red raining down from above outside Kara's window.

"Nooo." She sobbed. "Please, I need to see them. I need to hold her. Please." She crumpled on the floor, holding Kara's green hoodie in her hand. The last piece of her Lena had. The worst part is, Kara wasn't dead. Just lost forever, to Lena.

"Ten seconds."

"Please."

"Five seconds."

"I don't want to be alone." She whispered.

.

.

.

Here's my twitter, go yell at me. https://twitter.com/Keroessa24

[cinnonym]

Fic Writer Review

Thank you @swanqueensalad for the tag!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24 (that’s so much more than I expected lol)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

264236... ah yes, one-shots my beloved :D

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

on ao3? 2 (Once Upon A Time and Supergirl). Elsewhere? uhhhh we don’t talk about elsewhere hskjd

4. Top five fics by kudos?

Y’all, I don’t have the ao3 skills for that kinda analysis, oof, the amount of time it took me to figure out the statistics button thingie... but here ya go:

1) i know you flirted with me before (but i didn’t get it right, can i try again) - yes and I know I still owe you a part two, it’s in the works, I promise!

2) the file drawer effect - I’m still quite proud of this one, but honestly, this statistics just shows that the SuperCorp fandom is currently more active, I think

3) Curses, like chickens, come home to roost - it better be on this list, I worked so long and so hard on this one. My first novel-length anything ever!

4) Thin Ice - uhm. I’d almost forgotten about that one tbh. It’s.. been a while?

5) it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas (ev’rywhere you go) - though I feel like this one has to be divided by 12 since it’s a short story collection, which would make my actual rank 5: A New Beginning!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/Why not?

yes, absolutely!! because I love comments and they always make me so happy, and I feel like people deserve to know how happy they’ve made me? But also cause I just like connecting to fellow fans, yay!

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I’d say Till Death Do Us Part cause it doesn’t really end happily? But then, canon fixes that one, actually. Apart from that probably the greatest loves of all time were never made cause that’s just canonical angst in extra heartbreaking words..

7. Do you write crossovers?

not yet? But I don’t see it happening tbh..

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Oof, once I had an issue where I tagged Regina&Robin but some OutlawQueen shippers took offence that it wasn’t their endgame, even though I’d put multiple warnings everywhere that it would be SwanQueen... But I myself barely received hate, it was just a heated discussion / minor shipping war in the comment section. Still made me sad :(

9. Do you write smut?

not yet. I’m keeping my fics T-rated at the highest, although I gotta say, I’ve gotten a lot spicier lately. But honestly, I prefer building build-up to writing actual explicit smut, so that’s probably all you’re ever getting from me, sorry lol

10. Ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of..

11. Ever had a fic translated?

nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yes!! back in the day @godandmonsters1996 and I sometimes collabed on tumblr. Here’s an example of one of our very angsty pieces!

13. All time favourite ship?

SwanQueen probably. I see myself returning to it for all eternity. Though I also have to say that SuperCorp makes a compelling point!

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

too many, loves, too many

15. Writing strengths?

dialogue, probably. Flirty banter, to be precise. I’m a Gemini, so this is all I do all day irl anyway, lol

16. Writing weaknesses?

Transitions! From one scene to another, ugh ugh ugh, I just overuse horizontal lines a lot hsdjkl but oof, I wish I was better at that. Also, long piece in general? I love it, but I also always run out of motivation at some point? It’s complicated okay??

17. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language?

English isn’t my first language, and I do speak several other languages, but nope nuh-uh nah, I just feel uncomfortable writing in any language but English. Only exception can be pet names I suppose..

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

... okay listen... 15yo me was very into ABBA okay (I still am btw, which is why I’m freaking out rn), and uh. I wrote straight ABBA rpf on wattpad back in the day (*hides in a corner*)

19. What is your favourite fic you’ve written so far?

I always like my latest fic most, I think, so A New Beginning? I’m really proud of it in any case! Though my favourite story-wise might actually be love bites, love bleeds (it’s what i need)

I’m tagging @waknatious if you wanna? Also, anyone else who wants to join in!

[mandareeboo]

I dont have anything exact for a prompt for dc superhero girls but like... any of them that you want to write abt... simply they are girlfriends ur honor <3

"So," says Babs, conversationally. "Are you a 'one and done' kinda gal, or a 'take it slow, let it go' kind?"

Karen bit her lip. Her fingers were shaking as they dug into the wood of her desk. They'd decided it was best to do this in the Gordon home, seeing how the faintest trace of what was sticking out of her arm could send their friend into serious agony. "Um. Both sound terrible. But I guess I'd rather just be done with the pain."

"Mm-hmm." The redhead adjusted her grip on the shard of kryptonite sticking out of her arm blaster. "Gonna be honest with you, Bee. This went in at an angle. It cut you going in, it's probably gonna cut you coming out. Is there anything I can get you to make this less stressing?"

"A stuffy?" she asked. "Preferably not bat-shaped. Not that bats aren't cool. But you usually stuff explosives into the bat ones."

Babs deems that fair and retrieves what Karen can only assume is the least beloved teddy bear she's ever seen. It's fur is bright brown- or it would be, without the dust. This was clearly an ancient Christmas or birthday present, tossed around but never truly used, with just enough sentimentality to avoid being thrown out or donated. Karen stuffs the teddy into the crook of her elbow and squeezes. Hard.

"Are you going to count to three?" she asked.

Babs shook her head. "You'd tense on three. Flexing the muscles is a bad idea."

"Okay. Then wh-"

She tightened her grip and yanked. Hard. 

Karen let out a yip and buried her face into the bear. She didn't want to imagine the disaster it'd be if the Commissioner heard.

"I got it!" Babs exclaimed, holding the rock up into the fluorescent light. "Man, I wish I could study this stuff. But I don't want to risk Kara getting sick having it close by."

"Yeah," she answered, trying not to get sick herself over the faintest bit of blood. Karen tapped a few buttons on her panel and the limbs popped off one by one, falling to the floor with a clatter. Karen yanked up her sleeve. "Oh, that's not so bad."

Babs, wetting a cotton ball, agreed with her. "Won't even need stitches. This time I'm definitely gonna count, okay?"

"Yes, please."

It doesn't take long to do the medical end of things. It was, all things considered, a surprisingly small gash. That said, getting cut with a rock was a great way to make yourself hate antiseptic. The crisp white bandage was probably a bit too much, but Babs is thorough.

The damage to her armor, however, is pretty damning. Karen felt her stomach squirm as she opened the hull, revealing ripped circuits, damaged data boards, and a couple of melted discs. Not cheap to purchase. She was going to have to run on bubblegum and duct tape for a while. (Not that that was out of the ordinary)

"Back to the drawing board?" Babs hummed, hefting a truly breathtaking toolbox out of thin air. "I'll go to the lair tomorrow and see if I can't scavenge you a few parts from first-drafts bat weapons."

"Thank you." Karen pulled out a wrench, feeling it in her hands. Her grip wasn't too affected. Good. "Back to the drawing board."

There was a clatter on the stairwell, too fast and too heavy to be Commissioner Gordon's, and there was Diana, flinging open the door in her full Wonder Woman garb. "KAREN ARE YOU-" She caught sight of Karen and seemed to lose an entire inch as she sighed with relief. "Oh, thank Zeus."

Babs let out a shriek. "Diana, did you walk to my house dressed in full uniform? What is somebody saw?"

"I did not walk; I ran. I told the your father I was doing a 'costume play'." Diana seemed to struggle to regain her poise at the sight of the bandage on Karen's arm, jaw tightening. "I was told you jumped in front of Supergirl, little Bumblebee."

Karen let out an awkward chuckle, rubbing her arm. "I think that's a bit of a stretch. Y'see, Babs and I have been prepping ourselves for cases like these, and-"

"Cases like these?" Diana echoed. Her voice was flat. "Cases like what, exactly?"

"Kryptonite weapons!" Babs chirped, holding up the stone. She'd had the sense of mind to wipe it off, at least. "Just being near the stuff can weaken Kara. We didn't even want to consider what might happen if she got poked by it. So we've made work-arounds; thicker armor around our limbs, metal designed to avoid skin-contact with sharp objects, etc. The next step is if they find a way to make it into a ray gun or something, but that's mostly if it's somehow too quick for Kara to dodge, and, let's be real, that probably won't-"

"Barbara." The girl stopped instantly. "Leave me and Bumblebee alone for a moment, please. We need to talk."

Karen gulped.

Babs shot her an apologetic look, then gave the Amazonian some finger guns. "Righty-o, boss. I'll go make us some snacks." She paused at the door, looking over her shoulder. "Just gimme a ring when you're ready, alright?"

Diana jerked her head in a nod. She watched with frightening intensity as the knob clicked closed.

"Diana-"

She whirled around. "Why was I not made aware of this? You and Barbara have been plotting to- to collect shards in your limbs like cufflinks! And you never-"

"It's not our first choice!" Karen held up our hands. "It's not even our last choice, Diana. We're also making shields, and inhibiters. It's an extreme emergency, last resort thing. And we've not even fixed the bugs!"

"It was faulty and you did it anyway?" She shrunk down as Diana slammed her hands on the table. "You could have been seriously injured! Or worse!"

"Diana," she said, showing off the bandage. "I'm mortal, not a water balloon. Trust me, I would have never done this if I thought it would be lethal."

Diana, for her part, did look a bit chastised. Her shoulders fell. "I am... sorry, little Bumblebee. I did not mean to doubt your abilities. It's just- I was out of the loop for one mission, and I came home to find my strongest warrior hardly able to move as she told me you were taken elsewhere for serious wounds."

"Kara talked to you?"

"She tried. She was crying."

Karen winced. She knew Kara would hate this idea. That's why they'd been so quiet about it. "I'm sorry I worried you all, but I wasn't in any real danger."

"This time. What of next time?"

"Now that we know they're onto our weaknesses, there won't be a next time."

"There shouldn't have been a first time!" Diana got down on one knee to hold her arm with great respect. This was one of the few positions she was actually taller than the Amazonian, and it made Karen nervous. She knew how bad it felt to be small. She never wanted other people to feel that way. "Is it bad, αγάπη μου?"

And Karen, smart and strong and absolutely weak to puppy dog eyes, couldn't stop herself. "I was in front of her."

Diana sucked in a breath.

"When it went off. I was in front of Supergirl." Karen forced herself to go on. It felt horrible to say out loud. A betrayal. But she had already betrayed Kara, hadn't she? She needed to own up to it. Reassure them all that she deserved the little scratch on her arm. "I dodged. I dodged out of the way. How horrible is that, Diana?"

"Darling-"

"I dodged," she repeated, voice wobbly with unshed tears. "I knew it could kill her, and I dodged." Fingers dug into her skirt. Her own fingers. The cut burned. "I'm a terrible person."

Diana's fingers cupped her chin, bringing her gaze back to her. "No. Never. You are human, Karen. You were scared."

Karen wished it was that easy. But, to her, it wasn't. She wasn't enough. "Heroes are supposed to take risks."

"Heroes must be alive to take those risks." Diana's fingers tightened their grip- not enough to hurt, but holding her in place. "Please, αγάπη μου. No more secret extreme emergency, last resort things. We are warriors, not blockades to toss in front of each other."

"Promise," she said, and it was the easiest promise she ever made. "...Can we call Babs back in, now? I'm gonna need her help un-soldering some things."

Wonder Woman swooped up for a kiss. Karen was someone who got electrocuted a lot, but nothing so simple had even a bit of life compared to being held and loved by the strongest woman in Metropolis, especially when she smiled like that. "In a moment. Allow me some time with you alone. It’s selfish, but it’s... human.”

[ask-jokeboi]

The Party

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far! This time of year isn't always easy but thankfully friends and a good distraction can make things easier. 

I drew these pic’s to pair with a moderately long fic I wrote to follow up the aforementioned party from earlier, it’s below the the cut! Read it if you want! Either way, Happy Holidays! 💜💚💛

Words: 4,142    Relationships: Harlivy /Harley & Joker friendship / Batjokes (mentioned)     Universe: Mine / Lego Batman

A/N: sorry for any typos or weird grammatical stuff, I'm good at art, not writing

Summary: Joker’s felt a little down since Batman’s been out of town, will his best friend Harley be able to cheer him up?

Warnings: Alcohol use, implied depression

_____________________

"C'mon Jay it'll be be fun!" Cheered Harley, mustering all the enthusiasm she could in an attempt to persuade Gotham's former clown prince of crime to pull himself together 

"I don't care!…. Go bother your girlfriend or something. Leave me alone…" He was currently piled under several layers of blankets, sunk deep into the ball pit he called a bed

"Nuh uh, I'm not haulin' my butt outta this room 'till you haul yours. You can stay in that pit and cry all ya like, but it won't fix nothin', you gott-"

"I don't GOTTA do anything!" Jay snapped. Throwing his blanket aside and revealing his less than kempt appearance, his face twisted into a frustrated glare

Harley, already familiar with Jay's usual harmless outbursts only sighed as she looked her long time friend up and down, taking in his surroundings with a curious eye

It'd been a month or two since Batman left the scene and his absence was definitely beginning to take a toll on the poor clown.

She could tell it'd been a while since he'd done anything to care for himself…. His hair, which was usually swept back into a flawless green pomp, lazily draped his face. The dull forest black of his roots beginning to seep back into the rest of it. Same could be said for the state his room which, due to his erratic nature, was always a bit untidy  but had recently fallen into a state of near disrepair. Bags of half eaten junk food and empty bottles of all sorts of things lay strewn across the floor, particularly around his half deflated bed.

Despite the mess, he still seemed a little...thin… more so than usual to be honest… his ribs visible beneath the loose shirt he wore, arms comparable to sticks despite the muscle.

most of all though, he just seemed... tired. Jay always looked tired out of makeup. It was one of the first things she'd managed to take note of when he'd first entered her office years ago…. But right now the purple rings beneath his eyes that never seemed to go away were deepened to a point that made it clear he wasn't getting much sleep or doing much for himself in general...

Seeing her best friend in a state like this was hard to witness… and although her partner, Ivy, didn't have much but mild disdain for Jay, Harley couldn't find it in herself to leave him like this… which is why she thought a party might lift his spirits a little 

"C'mooon! You love parties!! It'll just be a small one anyway!" It was actually much bigger than she was implying but Jay liked big and she didn't wanna scare him off too soon… 

"Yeah, like that'll make things any better… who did you even invite?? A good half of the rogues don't even like me…"

"Sure they do!"

Jay only looked at her, bereft and unimpressed. 

"I mean ok you and Riddler don't always get along and it took a lot a beggin' ta get ya un-banned from the iceberg lounge but still!!"

"Uhg whatever! It doesn't matter! I don't need those bozos seein' me like this anyway..."

"Like what?" 

"I don't know!  I'm just…... I'm not in the right… mood for something like that right now.... You know how this works… they'd see right through me. "

Back when Jay was still her patient they'd end up talking a lot about masks…Batman's would come up more often than not but every now and then he'd end up discussing his own…. Or more specifically, the metaphorical one he'd put on every time he picked up a brush and painted himself a new face…..

"Jay, sweetie…  you don't have to pretend to be okay… they won't think you're weak or nothin', you know that right?..."

Jay gave her an incredibly tired look before turning away.

"What happened to the Jay that wasn't afraid to let people know how he's feelin' huh? The one that turned every emotion into a show….?"

He kept his head down, shoulders stiff, before speaking...

"....Cause I'm not just sad this time…. " As he looked up slowly an emotion that was rarely seen on the mans face showed itself, flooding his eyes. 

"W- when I'd talked to Robin and Batgirl that last time and asked about Batman they gave each other this look and…. Something's wrong… he's in trouble or something I… I can feel it…..  W-what if he doesn't come back and he leaves me here all alone an-" 

Harley put a polished nail up to Jay's lips and smiled warmly.

"Shhhh…. You're worryin' too much puds… ur big dumb brain is just an overdramatic liar… don't listen to it okay?" 

Jay sniffled, giving her an understanding nod.

"You still got me an' your crew an' Bud and all the other little silly things that make ya days good doncha?"

He smiles halfheartedly. "Y-yeah…. But still… he was..."

"I know… he's special….but do you seriously think anything out there could actually kill Batman? THE Batman? C'mon now….  He's luckier than any bastard out there and you know it…"

"Yeah…. Yeah I guess ur right"

"Of COURSE I'm right!… now come on…" she offers her hand and helps her friend stand up. "Let's get that hair done and those nails shined up  so you're brain can take a break from making all those nasty thoughts" 

Jay smiled a little wider this time, forever grateful he had a friend as great as Harley around… he really didn't know what he'd do without her sometimes...

"Right…. Also… uh…. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….uh…. Bein'... around… I guess…" Jay practically mumbled...

Harley smiled knowingly, amused with his poor attempt of gratitude

"No problem, Pud's….." she gave him a peck on the forehead leaving a black smudge behind 

"now enough mush...Let's clean this mess and get ya fabbed up"

________________

A few hours later, Jay stood outside the titular iceberg lounge in his best winter fit, a long boa around his shoulders and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses obscuring the mascara he'd only half ruined on the way there…. 

He truly, honestly, did not feel like socializing with anyone at the moment, but who was he to refuse a doctor's orders?....

Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, Jay stiffened up, smoothed the wrinkles from his vintage memphis style sweater and entered the lounge, heels high and head high as he could manage 

____________

When the doors swung open with a swirl of winter snow, Jay was greeted by a surprisingly full and stunningly silent room. Christmas music cut through the tension like a knife as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Joker's fashionably late arrival.

He didn't know if it was because of his natural ability to demand attention or the fact that he hadn't been seen in nearly 3 weeks, but for some reason the room seemed slightly on edge. worried he'd come with another Joker brand surprise perhaps. Thankfully, Harley, who'd left his place a little earlier to get everything ready, noticed who'd finally arrived.

"JJ!! YOU MADE IT!!" she leaped off her stool and came running to grab him, The rest of the room taking it as a cue to un-tense and to go back to their festivities, the lounge lighting up  with warm greetings and laughter.

" Hey…" said Jay as Harley put an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to the booth she was sitting at….  

"So… is all of this for me or…?"

"No, did she tell you that?" Ivy who was sitting at the booth with his other less than fond acquaintance, Catwoman and someone else he didn't seem to recognize, gave a snide smile, Jay suddenly felt he should probably sit someplace else

"IVY!! SHHH" Harley shushed

"What? He was gonna find out out eventually…. It was supposed to be Penguin's annual winter ball" 

"Uh,It still is tho…?" said Kat, mouth full of shrimp 

"Well, yah…. Difference is we had to 'finesse' Penguin into letting HIM in" Ivy explained, disdain in her voice

"And you... helped with that?..." asked Jay, surprised. Ivy sighed

"for Harley's sake, yes. not yours" 

Jay smiled, amused. "well how charitable of you, here's to hoping you won't regret it"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "As if I don't already" she said, taking a short sip from her drink, Harley sitting down next to her give her thank u peck on the cheek.

"Hey, why'd you get banned from this dump anyway?" Asked Kat, eyes squinting curiously 

"I have no idea…." Jay shrugged 

"He put a coke and mento bomb in the fountain!" Harley interrupted 

"Oh yeah…." He'd totally forgot

"Ha! Awesome…" 

"Right uh, anyway, who the hell are you?" Jays attention suddenly turned to the woman sitting opposite of kat. She had light blue skin, bright white eyes and hair that made her look like a human lighting rod.

"Name's Livewire." She said, voice sharp as her appearance 

"She's from Metropolis" explained Ivy. Jay rose a brow.

"Metropolis huh?? How'dya like dealin' with boy scout full time over there?" He quizzed 

"Sweet!…" she exclaimed enthusiastically "Big blue aint got a thing on me! 'sides, dweeb's been outta town for months now! metropolis might as well be my personal playground"

The mentioning of Superman's absence made something in Jay's chest twist. He'd known their neighbor hero had been MIA for even longer than Batman, Supergirl taking over the workload just like Batgirl had in Gotham. but still… the reminder was enough to worry him. I mean… if superman was taking so much time up there, what chance did Batman have against whatever it was they were so busy with??

Trying his best to shake off the uneasiness building in his stomach Jay took a breath and snapped back to reality, offering Livewire his hand

"Well, uh... Livewire, i'm this city's head honcho while the bat's gone so welcome to Gotham and try not to wear it out" 

Harley and Ivy exchanged looks as Jay smiled slyly and took Livewires hand…

...Only for his usual gesture of hospitality to be met with an equally shocking grip that sent blue sparks flying in every direction.

"DAMN, what the- !! " Jay yanked his hand back and held it in pain, hot needles running up his arm.The new addition to Harley's crew laughed crudely and smiled

 "why do you think they call me 'LIVEWIRE' genius?" 

Jay stayed silent with defeat as the table went up in hysterics "Yeah fine, okay, I shoulda saw that one coming" he sighed and smoothed out his hair which had sprung up to stand on end, his face ever so slightly red "anyway, you ladies have a nice time… i'll set up shop somewhere else and let you guys… idk… flirt with each other or whatever..." without much fanfare he slunk off to sit someplace else.

After the table had settled down completely though, Harley noticed Jay making his way to the bar looking somewhat dejected.

"Aw Jay…." 

The rest curiously turned their attention to the direction of Harley's gaze.

"You're not going after him are you?" Asked Ivy after a beat.

"Well… yeah…?" Harley shrugged.

"Uhm, why?" Asked kat, dipping more shrimp into her cocktail "like if he's not in the mood for a joke that's kinda his problem…?"

"Yeah, but still…. I've never seen 'im like this for so long…. He's usually so funny and animated, it's like somethin' drained all the life out of 'im…." The concern on Harley's face was very apparent. Ivy brushed back a few strands of her hair and tried her best to reassure her.

"Look i'm sure he'll get his second wind when Batman comes back at some point… but ‘til then it's not your job to take care of him…" 

Harley sighed silently. "I know but… he's still my best friend… and if I hadn't met him, I wouldn'ta met you!" She squished close to her spouse with a smile, Ivy suddenly unable to hold back a small one herself.

"He helped me outta my slump all those years ago, least I can do is help 'im outta his..."

Ivy gave her a soft look before reluctantly caving "Kindness has always been your best and worst trait, silly bee…" she said with a smirk "fine, go ahead and do your thing, I've got plenty of company over here in the meantime…"

Harley smiled happily and gave her one last kiss before running off to join Jay at the bar.

____________

Jay sat alone at the bar in silence until he was suddenly startled by Harley's arrival.

 "What's shakin' grumpy gills?" She asked pulling up a stool.

Jay didn't answer as the bartender slid over a funfetti martini topped with the works, Jay lazily catching it and drinking deeply.

"Those guys didn't get ta ya did they? I know they seem mean bu- "

"Ah… I don't care about them…" said Jay dismissively  "we're all villains here right? I'm sure they got their reasons… sides, Livewire's pretty fun even if she did fry my Joy buzzer" He said regretfully…

"So what's up then…?" Asked Harley, head tilted 

Jay looked down at the table with a frown, fingers anxiously scraping the side of the glass in his hand….

"What she'd said about metropolis…. And… superman…."

"Oh…"  Harley nodded "well…. I'm sure they're together wherever they are…. Right? Him and Batman? And I mean, with Superman around, he's bound to be okay….." 

Jay had a hard time matching her enthusiasm but that logic did comfort him some. "Yeah… yeah I guess so"

"C'mon Jay, you gotta get that stuff off your mind for a minute! Go mingle! Go dance!… look at everyone who came this time! Turn-out's never been so big!"

As Jay's looked around the room, Harley did have a point, usually these get-togethers only managed to scrounge up about half the gang, but it looked like almost all the rogues in town had come this time. Even D-listers like Polkadot man, Killer Moth, Crazy Quilt ect. Had managed to show up, plus people he didn't seem to recognize…

For example at the bar sat Scarecrow and a… Oddly scruffy looking man he looked to be sharing a drink with. He'd heard from Riddler over the phone some time ago that crow had found himself a friend and that the two were "in cahoots".  whatever that was supposed to mean. He supposed that must've been the "friend" in question…

A few tables down sat another unfamiliar  in a polkadot shirt and a pair of cracked thick lensed glasses. He had a peculiar looking puppet sitting on his lap which made J raise a brow, but he didn't judge. Looking at his woefully nervous face he guessed it must it must've been a security thing anyway… 

Despite the big crowd though, Jay did notice one person missing of whom he hadn't seen in quite a while...

"Yeah I guess everyone is here...  except uh, Lex I guess…?" Jay considered himself friends with metropolises king of corruption, even if the feeling wasn't always mutual. Seeing so many crooks he knew in one place made him realize how rare it was to see the mal hearted mogul at these things.

Unfortunately, Harley could only shrug with defeat. "Ah I tried to get Lex but you know how he is… nobody's seen that shut in for ages".

Jay's eyes narrowed at that "How long is ages…. ?" He pressed

"I dunno… a few months guess???  Livewire said he's been quiet lately, probably off in one of his labs making some over convoluted instrument of destruction I guess"

The growing list of missing big shots was beginning to piece something together in Jay's head… what on earth was Lex up to? Where was superman?? Why did the league need Batman's help? How did it all connect?? After a moment Harley noticed Jay slipping into his thoughts again and shook his shoulder lightly to pull him out of it.

"Hey, don't worry about that egghead. he'd only kill the mood if he were here anyway" 

Jay couldn't disagree, the billionaire was kind of notorious for being a giant stick in the mud.

"If you're really worried about what's goin' on with those guys, you can come up with a plan Tomorrow…. right now we got a' open dance floor, unlimited drinks and a Karaoke competition that's about ta kick off in ten"

The word 'Karaoke' was enough to snap Jay back to reality. "Did you say Karaoke?" 

"Yes, I did."

"Do they hav-"

"Yes, they have Queen" 

Jay nearly looked as if someone had told him the best news of his life. "Oh thank god" maybe Harley was right. Worrying would have to wait. 

_____________

The rest of the night went on with few hang ups. Drinks poured, music played and poorly screeched lyrics kept the mood upbeat.

The Karaoke stage hosted performance after performance, some more enthusiastic than others. Some painful, others surprisingly pleasant. Jay's teetered off the edge of both categories, but when "somebody to love" burst through those speakers, he'd sung it with his whole chest. The best performance by a long shot though had to be Ivy's who's affinity for 50's ballads lent to her beautifully rich voice and her's was closely followed by the Dent's who'd decided to attempt a duet with no chorus which everyone found somewhat impressive.

Emotions did flare up once or twice though, as they tend to do when it comes to villain gatherings. Ed and Jay got into a fight about something stupid and unimportant, both obviously enjoying themselves, Bane and Croc engaged in an arm wrestle that woefully ended in a tie, and Jay inevitably got worked up about Batman again, this time with a crowd of eager listeners somewhat entertained by his rambling, giving questionable advice here and there.

At the get-together's height, the dance floor had filled to the point where Penguin was just about ready to call the whole event off until Riddler dragged him on to the floor himself.

After another hour or so the party wound down some more and the night devolved into quiet discussions between friends, everyone either ready to leave or half asleep. Eventually Jay and Two-face of all people were left alone. Once Ed, Crow, Hatter and the rest had gone home.

Jay always liked Harv, for someone known for his temper he seemed to have a lot of patience and Jay found both of his selves uniquely interesting in their own ways. Harvey the "handsome" one was always very nice, easily flustered, and had a sadness in his eyes that was hard to ignore. "Dent", the one famous for all those 2 themed crimes, was a bold individual and one of the most brutally honest people he knew. That night though, even he seemed a little sad. He admitted later that it was because it'd been a while since he'd gotten to talk to his old pal Bruce, someone Jay was mildly familiar with of course, and they spent the rest of the night discussing Batman and wayne and how they seemed so similar until it really was time to head home. 

 sometime after midnight, long after everyone had either left or found someplace to pass out, Harley broke up with her girl gang again to come get Jay who'd fallen asleep in an empty booth.

"Wake up clown" she said loudly, nudging him a bit. Jay giggled quietly in response, turning over after a moment and opening his eyes.

"Oohh what's up??"

"Time to go." 

"Aw…" Jay huffed disappointedly, then did his best to sit up straight, his head slowly spinning as he did so "ah jeeze…"

"Don't worry I called one of your guys, he's waiting outside." She explained "I dragged you here, might as well drag you home" 

"You did that for me?" Jay smiled "That's so nice…."

"Mhm" carefully, she took his hand got him to his feet, doing her best to keep him up straight. As they headed out they met up with Ivy at the door

"Taking pennywise home?" She asked 

"It'll only take a minute" Harley assured 

"Alright… don't take too long…" she turned to leave but before she could, Jay suddenly spoke up.

"H-hey, Wait!" 

Ivy turned around, brow raised "You have something to say to me?"

"Uh… yeah? I mean… sort of? I just, uh… wanted to say i'm sorry for…  messing up your garden all those times…." 

Ivy blinked "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just thought you shud kno….  And that um…. Maybe you'd hate me…. A little less... if I said sorry for once..." the frown on Jays face was absolutely pitiful, Ivy could only roll her eyes.

"I don't hate you… Joker"

"Oh?"

"I just think you're annoying…."

"Oh…." Jay couldn't really tell if that was any better but at the moment he was too drunk to care. "Okay…"

With that ivy turned around to join Kat and Livewire

"Thanks for the apology though I suppose…Take care of yourself…. And, Harley don't take too long… it's only 1:00am we still have plans."

"Don't worry Ive's  i'll catch up." 

after one last look, Ivy went back on her way and Harley continued walking J to his car.

As they went Jay hummed to himself, swaying slightly, until a certain thought made him go quiet again.

"....Harley….?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, J?"

"Am I a bad friend?" The question just as out of the blue as his apology to Ivy…. 

Harley looked at him, concerned "Why do ya ask?"

"I just…. Please?" He pleaded. Harley hesitated for a long moment but decided being honest was probably best.

" not exactly but… maybe sometimes"

"Hm…" Jay decided he'd have to work on that

"But I also know ya don't really wanna hurt anybody…. That you try your best everyday ta make people happy and that you've been through just as much any of us….  A few mean comments an' dumb pranks ain't gonna make anybody think you're the devil or somethin'….not me or any of the other guys... "

Jay had to smile at that, Harley always had something smart or nice to say no matter what. still, her answer only made him feel worse about how he'd been earlier when she was just trying to help… he really, honestly, didn't deserve her…. But the least he could do was let her know he was glad to have her...

"Harley…?"

"Yeah, J…"

"Thanks for being really, really great all the time… and… y'know… around… " Harley smiled as she secured his arm around her shoulders. 

"Thanks J..." 

"also sorry for sucking sometimes..."

She sighed. "It's fine Jay…."

carefully, she hauled his ragdolling body a few more feet and shoved him into the back seat of his car. J grunting as his head hit the leather seat.

"Now go home an' try not to get lost on your way to the door" She said sternly. Jay gave her a lazy wink and a pair of wobbly finger guns.

"Gotcha." 

with that,Harley slammed the door shut and the J-Mobile's engine roared to life. One his lackeys sitting in the driver's seat.

"Where to boss? HQ?"

"Yup… ah, sorry t' call ya out so late…"

"S'alright boss…. Don't worry about it"

As the car lurched forward, street lights shining in through the windows as snow fell ever so lightly over Gotham like a dusting of fresh powdered sugar, Jay did inevitably start thinking about Batman again, wondering when he'd come back, desperately wishing he knew anything about where he was right now….

The thoughts were hard to ignore and when he got home he knew he'd be surrounded by the same walls he'd spent the last month trapped with them in….  even so, the world felt a little less washed out than it had before he left, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol swirling in his blood. 

He may not have had Batman... But today reminded him he wasn't alone.

He had friends… real friends… In a way he'd always considered them such… but deep down there was always doubt. I mean sure he got along better with some than others, but after knowing people so long he shouldn't have been so dumb to think they hated him as much as he thought they did. 

When you're a villain in Gotham sometimes all you have are other weirdos in the same boat as you to help keep you and everyone else afloat. People need people in more ways than one…  and as Jay drifted off to sleep in the back of his gaudy getaway vehicle, laying in a position that was just barely comfortable, he pushed his worries aside and made sure that was something he'd never let himself forget.

~ End ~

[midnightechoes]

Halloween Lunch Date

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy the little fic I wrote for the @supercorpbb Halloween/Fall Event! I ended up using three of the prompts from the list: Pumpkin spice debate, Lena sees Kara wearing a plaid button-up with the sleeves rolled up for the first time and loses her damn mind, and Couple’s costumes. Although, if truth be told, none of the themes are that front and center. This was really just an excuse to write some Supercorp fluff since the last thing I wrote was pretty angsty! Hope everyone enjoys it!

Read it on AO3!

A sudden, deep yawn escaped Lena, knocking her out of the deep state of concentration that she had been in for the last three hours. The CEO of L-Corp’s hand shot up to her mouth in an attempt to stifle a second wave of yawns. Once they were under control, she leaned back in her office chair and rubbed her eyes. She had been staring at her laptop all morning, tearing through report after report in a desperate attempt to get ahead of her seemingly neverending workload, and she was feeling it in every inch of her body.

Lena’s stomach let out a rumble, its angry attempt at reminding the woman that it disagreed with Lena’s decision to skip lunch. It was the third skipped lunch in a row, and her stomach seemed to be on the verge of a mutiny, calming only slightly as she took a gulp of water from a glass she had been nursing for the past hour.

Seemingly as if she had heard the cries from Lena’s stomach, Supergirl touched down gently on the balcony of Lena’s office. The Luthor heard her before she saw her, the unmistakable crunch of the hero’s boots tapping against her balcony’s concrete. There was a time, early in their relationship, when the uncontrollable expression of glee that instantly covered her face was something Lena fought with, embarrassed by her inability to contain herself.

Those days ended months ago, and the Luthor excitedly spun around in her chair, her own bright smile matching the blinding one her girlfriend was shooting her way as Supergirl stepped into the office. “Kara!” Lena drawled out, letting each letter slowly fall from her mouth breathlessly. With one smooth motion, Lena pushed herself up from her chair and cleared the short distance between the two.

Supergirl, one hand carrying a white paper bag, and the other hand balancing a cup carrier holding two drinks, spread her arms out, allowing Lena’s arms to easily wrap around the Girl of Steel’s waist. Before Kara could respond, she found that her lips were already busy with Lena’s, who had wasted no time pulling the Kryptonian into a kiss.

Within seconds, Lena could the aches of her day draining away, replaced with the warmth and softness of the blonde woman that was enthusiastically returning her kiss. They pulled apart after a few more seconds with a gasp, each pulling back just enough to stare into each other’s eyes.

“Love of my life,” Kara murmured with a giant grin on her face. It had become her favorite way to greet the Luthor of the past few weeks, after reading what had apparently been a particularly convincing fortune cookie fortune. Lena giggled, slapping Kara lightly across her chest. The phrase had grown on the raven-haired woman, and secretly, she desperately hoped it was accurate, but she still felt the need to at least pretend to resist the lofty implications of the saying.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Lena hummed, her hands resting on Supergirl’s chest.

“Well,” Kara chirped, “I finally turned in that article that Andrea’s been badgering me about, meaning that I get the afternoon off!” The blonde held up the contents in her hands. “And I thought it’d be fun to bring my girlfriend lunch.” The Kryptonian’s smile twisted into some sort of smug smirk as her brows furrowed. “Especially since it’s almost three and I somehow doubt you’ve eaten since I saw you this morning.”

Lena took a step back and scoffed, clutching her chest with mock outrage.

“Don’t even try,” Kara responded, rolling her eyes. “You’ve come home famished every night this week! You ate three slices of pizza last night!”

“You ate an entire pizza yourself,” Lena shot back.

“Okay, yeah, but I always eat an entire pizza, you usually can’t even finish two slices. Besides,” Kara leaned in, grinning as she jostled the bag in her hand, “I got you that smoke salmon bagel that you love.”

“On a whole wheat bagel?” Lena asked, the hopefulness in her voice obvious. Kara just beamed and nodded. An ear to ear smile grew on Lena’s face as she cupped Kara by the cheeks. “You really are my favorite person,” Lena mused, pulling Kara into another kiss.

The end of the kiss was sudden. Lena tugged herself free and snatched the bag before Kara even knew what was happening. The raven-haired woman stood there, clutching the bag greedily, a sheepish smile on her face. “Okay, maybe I am hungry.” As if to drive the point home, a needy gurgle erupted from Lena’s stomach, causing the Luthor to blush.

Kara couldn’t contain her laughter. She pulled one of the paper cups out of the carrier and handed it to the woman in front of her. “And one soy lavender tea latte to go with it,” Kara smiled. “Think you can take a break long enough to eat with your girlfriend?”

The Luthor stepped around Supergirl, planting a kiss on her shoulder as she passed. “Go change first,” she purred into the Kryptonian’s ear. Lena’s hair kicked up from the blowback of Kara zooming away to the private washroom attached to the office.

It was a quick scamper over to the white couch on the other side of the office for Lena, who set the bag down on the coffee table as soon as she reached it. By that time, Kara was already emerging from the washroom, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, and loosely tucked into her black denim jeans was a hunter-green and black flannel button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up halfway up her forearms. The top few buttons of the shirt remained unbuttoned, open just enough to expose her collarbones and get a peek at the rim of the tank top she was wearing underneath. The raven-haired woman rose the cup to her lips, positioning the opening in the lid in front of her, and let it hover there, obscuring the hungry grin on her face.

Lena really enjoyed the fall.

Eyes still fixed on watching her girlfriend saunter towards her, Lena absently took a sip from her drink. It was an instant regret. She grimaced, her entire face scrunching up and she swallowed.

At the sight of her girlfriend struggling, Kara quickened her pace, closing the remaining distance in an instance.

“Darling,” Lena coughed, “are you sure they gave you the right order?”

Kara took the drink from Lena, gave it a sniff, then sipped it herself. A happy hum escaped her. “Ah, I see,” she mumbled and handed the other cup that she had been carrying. “Here, try this one.”

What started as an experimental sip turned into a good chug. “Much better,” Lena said, taking a seat on the couch.

“Sorry, handed you mine by mistake,” Kara admitted as she plopped down next to Lena, their knees knocking against each other playfully. She set her cup down and began unpacking their lunch: smoked salmon on a whole wheat bagel with a dill spread, tomatoes, capers, and red onions for Lena, and a bacon grilled cheese sandwich, triple the bacon, for Kara.

“What was that?” Lena asked, a single eyebrow raised over her confusion at how Kara could delight in whatever that concoction was supposed to be.

“Pumpkin spice latte,” Kara chirped just before chomping down on her sandwich.

The answer only made Lena’s confusion grow. “That’s what a pumpkin spice latte tastes like?” she asked incredulously.

The blonde’s eyes went wide as she turned to Lena. “You’ve never had a pumpkin spice latte?!” she spit out through a mouth full of cheese, bread, and bacon.

“The idea of pumpkin in my coffee never sounded appealing to me, but that doesn’t even taste anything like pumpkin!”

Kara just shrugged as she took another sip of her coffee. “They make it sweeter so the flavors mix well with the coffee.”

“Well, they failed at that,” Lena flatly stated.

“Sweetie, it’s one of the most popular drinks in the world,” Kara countered with a chuckle.

“We’ve failed as a society,” Lena responded instantly. Kara busted out laughing, flopping back into the couch and twisting so that her face was buried into Lena’s shoulder. “I need to dedicate more funding into nutritional health initiatives,” she added, causing a fresh round of laughter from her girlfriend.

Slowly, Kara pulled herself back up. “Lena, sweetie, don’t you think you’re being just a little overdramatic?”

Lena snapped her head up so that her chin was pointed high in the air. “I am a Luthor, after all, we are nothing if not dramatic,” she retorted, barely able to contain a snicker. Kara couldn’t help but laugh at her girlfriend’s silliness for a moment before she really took in the sight of Lena in front of her. In her dramatic “proper” pose, Lena’s neck was on full display, and Kara didn’t spend much time resisting before pouncing.

They crashed into the back of the couch, Lena giggling uncontrollably as her girlfriend was straddling her lap, suckling on her pale skin. “Vampire! Vampire!” the Luthor cried out, unable to contain her enjoyment.

After a moment Kara came up for air. “Oooh, we could be vampires for Halloween,” Kara suggested as she sat comfortably on Lena. The Luthor shook her head.

“Too basic,” Lena replied. “It’s our first couples’ costume, it needs to be a little more inspired.” Kara sat up and rubbed her chin, clearly deep in thought. Lena pushed herself up and planted another kiss onto Kara. “Don’t worry, we’ll think of something,” she murmured against Kara’s lips. Her arms snaked around Kara, her hand gripping at her back. “But right now, I think I’d rather focus on enjoying my lunch break with my girlfriend.”

Kara leaned forward and hummed. “Yeah, I think we can do that,” she breathed before pushing Lena back down.

---

Nia was scurrying to her door as fast as she could, taking care not to catch her fairy wings on anything. Only half the guests had arrived and already her Halloween party was loud and raucous. It had made the knocking hard to hear, hence her scurrying. As she reached the door she made a mental note to post a sticky note on the outside telling people to just enter.

Taking just a second to catch her breath and compose herself, Nia swung the door open, a big smile ready to greet whoever it was. As soon as she laid eyes on Kara and Lena she let out a hearty laugh.

Kara held up her little, plastic shield and beamed. “Cap and Iron Man, pretty great, right?” the Kryptonian boasted. Lena shifted next to her, a light blush on her face as she held her helmet in her hands.

“It’s perfect!” Nia bellowed, wrapping both into a hug. “Come on you two, it’s time for candy and booze!” she yelled, ushering them into her apartment.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Legacy is a Lonely Color [a post 5x11 ficlet]

If there is one person Lena would least expect to see standing on her balcony, it's Winslow Schott.

She'd seen the news about the Toyman, and admittedly felt a pang of regret that the shift in reality had so ill-served such a bright personality. But the man on her balcony doesn't have the manic glee Lena glimpsed in the news footage. Instead, the smile that greets her with a small wave is calm, his gaze steady as he regards her through the glass.

Curiosity spurs Lena to open the door, though she can imagine what has brought a Legionnaire to her doorstep.

"Good to see you're not insane," she greets as Winn steps inside her office. "Or should I be worried about any cymbal-clapping monkeys rolling around here?"

"Har har," he retorts. He turns towards her as though reaching for a friendly hug, but stops short when Lena stiffens and turns away. He diverts his intention by sucking in a deep breath. "Nope, no murderous monkeys this time. But if you're interested, I know a guy."

He clicks his tongue with a wink and a pair of finger guns, and Lena fails to keep a smile from pulling at her lips. Mutual grins linger between them for a long moment, before Winn's fades and Lena remembers herself.

"What are you doing, Lena?"

Lena folds her arms stiffly across her chest, jaw clenching as she squares her shoulders against the accusation that falls softly in the evening shadows.

"Excuse me?"

"Non Nocere? J'onn showed me what almost happened, and Lena-- this is not the way."

Leveling her very best Luthor glare at the Legionnaire. "I'm curious, Agent Schott... do I miraculously survive into the 23rd century?"

Winn blinks, his features scrunching in confusion. "Um-- no...?"

"Then I'm curious as to when we became friends enough that you can presume to know anything about me."

To her surprise, Winn only smiles, even as he ducks his head as though to hide it. "No... I know. We're not friends. In fact it's really my only true regret about going with the Legion."

Lena doesn't understand. Despite the high-octane circumstances of thor previous encounters, they never became personal. Perhaps, over time, they could have been true friends, but Winn had been long gone before Lena was admitted so deep into Kara's circle.

Sensing her confusion, Winn continues.

"Yeah, turns out when people in the future know you used to hang with the OG Supergirl, they want to know everything. Including what you know about her brilliant and beautiful best friend Lena Luthor."

Lena scowls. "Your future has its details wrong. We're not friends."

Winn's lips pull into a grimace. "Yeah. I heard that too."

"If this is some kind of ploy for me to--"

"Kara doesn't know I'm here. She's not that kind of person."

Resentment coils in its nest, deep in her chest. Lena's fingers tighten painfully on her biceps. "Well, I'm sure you have reason to believe that."

Winn's lips pinch together, but he moves on. "Anyway, my point is that those guys knew more about you than I did. And the more I learned trying to catch up, the more  I wished I'd made more of an effort to know you when I had the chance. I mean, I always knew I liked you-- you're AWESOME-- but I didn't realize just how much."

Lena shakes her head. She's had enough lip service to last her a lifetime, anf she has no interest in empty words from Kara's closest friend--let alone one who doesn't look like he'll be abandoning the future to rectify the situation. "We're both intelligent people, Mr. Schott. We both know you're not here to learn my favorite color and braid my hair. And knowing your history with Supergirl and her friends, I'm going to cut to the chase: there's nothing you can say to me tonight or two hundred years from now that will convince me to trust her again." She is done giving second chances. She is done offering her heart to others and having it returned to her in pieces. But Winn regards Lena with a smile that rests on his features with a maturity she doesn't remember seeing before. "The only person you need to trust again is yourself." A jolt arcs clean through Lena's core. It takes all her control not to recoil from the soft accusation, but Winn must see the reflexive flinch, because the next thing she knows, warm hands take her by the shoulders. Somehow the soft touch lays her bare, slicing through the bubble that's surrounded her since the night she killed her brother. Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. "No one can survive as an island. Not even the great Lena Luthor." Winn's own smile turns damp, even as it broadens. "El mayarah." Just like that, Lena's defenses snap back up. She blinks away her sudden emotion, scoffing. "Another load of--" Winn interrupts her curse. "Stronger together isn't just Supergirl's motto," he tells her. "It's L-Corp's too." Lena freezes. L-Corp? That means-- she stares at Winn in question, but he doesn't elaborate. "Non Nocere is not your legacy." He says it with such certainty that Lena can't find any protest within her. "Trust yourself," Winn says, "and you will find your way. Whether or not that way lies with Supergirl is up to you. But if you abandon yourself... you'll be lost forever." She's already lost. Lena knows it, however much she tries to deny. Non Nocere was as much about DOING something as it was about fixing something. It's all the more clear now that her company is Lex's again and she has absolutely nothing to show for the last four years of her life. But maybe it's not gone for good. Maybe Lena has a future ahead of her after all. And now she has a direction in how to get there. "It was good to see you." Winn pulls away, and backs up towards the balcony. When he floats to step onto the rail of the balcony, Lena calls out. "Winn." He pauses, pivoting to face her recklessly enough to make Lena's heart lurch in alarm. She swallows it down, though, and focuses on him rather than the drop at his heels. "Are you really not going to ask why I have the interface cube from your ship?" He's got to have noticed it missing by now. But his eyebrows lift indiscernably. "Do you really think I wouldn't know a piece of 23rd century tech when I see it?" Winn affects an innocent shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about." Leaning against the doorframe, Lena folds her arms with a smirk of her own. "I think I would have liked to know you too, Mr. Schott." Her confession earns a grin, and another wink. "Catch you around, Miss Luthor." With that, Winn spreads his arms wide and simply tips himself backwards, plunging into empty space. Just as a cry catches in Lena's throat, his head pops back into view, gleeful and giggling. "I've always wanted to do that!" And there goes Earth's very own Legionnaire, zooming up towards the cloud covered sky. Lena watches him go, her thoughts racing as swiftly as he flies. In the days that follow, his words continue tumble about Lena's brain. She weighs them carefully, lets them lead down a multitude of potential paths until she settles on the one that suits her best. It's risky, with a high probabilty of failure, but alternatives leave her with more certain, but less favorable outcomes. And there is always one way she can up her odds. She bites the bullet late one evening and knocks loudly on a beige metal door on the rent-controlled side of down. The sound is almost lost in the laughter she can hear from within, but in just a few moments the knob turns and the door opens to reveal Kara Danvers gaping on the other side. "Lena!" she blurts, cheeks flushing. "You're here!" Lena shrugs. "Well, it is second-friday." Game night. Kara steps aside, and Lena deigns to step inside. As she does she, she casts a cursory glance across the stunned faces staring at her. Only Brainy seems to be missing, but his seat is filled neatly by Winn, whose eyes crinkle behind a disguise of glasses and nothing else. Her own seat has been comandeered by William Dey, who regards her with a stare that feels particularly loathsome. Reflexively, Lena does the math since his arrival in National City, and has to swallow the scoff that scrapes up her throat. Kara invites a coworker she hates in a third of the time it took Lena to earn her inclusion. It doesn't surprise Lena. Not now. "Don't worry," she delivers, half to Kara and half to the staring audience. "I'm not here to participate. Not that you're low on numbers." Kara comes even with her, eyes wide and unblinking, as though Lena might disappear in an instant. "Then... why are you here?" she asks. "Is everything okay?" "No," Lena clips shortly. She revels in the flinch she earns. Nothing is okay. Kara knows that. "H-how can we help?" Kara stammers. "You can't. I have a job for Supergirl." William Dey, of all people, is the first to react. "Supergirl doesn't answer to Luthors," he declares, rising to his feet. Before Lena rolls her own eyes, she notes a flash of irritation that travels across Kara's features. Perhaps she still has some spine after all. "The salary we issue to her direct deposit every month says otherwise," Lena drawls. "And I fail to recall where you were invited into the conversation, Mr. Dey." "I'd be happy to relay a message," Kara interjects before Dey could fire back. "What can I tell her?" Lena tilts her head towards Dey. "I'm afraid it's personal." Kara adjusts her glasses. "Oh, um-- I trust him." "That means nothing to me." Again, Lena revels in the way Kara jerks under the pointed barb, cheeks flushing. Lena almost hopes Kara will tell her to fuck off. Having Supergirl's assistance would make her work easier, but she doesn't exactly enjoy the thought of spending the time with her either. In the end, Kara turns to the rest of the room. "We're calling it an early night," she says. "Sorry, William." "You don't have to drop everything just because she--" "Welp, I'm pooped anyway," Nia announces, climbing her feet. "Next time I'm gonna have to take a nap before game night. Really takes it out of you, huh?" "Right," Winn nods. He claps Dey on the shoulder. "Come on, man. There's probably still time to catch a taxi." Nia feigns a bathroom break, giving her a reason to linger as Winn guides Dey out the door. Lena ignores the glare the reporter levels at her on his way out, focusing instead on the way Alex kisses Kelly goodbye and promises to be home as soon as she can. Soon it's only Alex and Kara left. Nia emerges as soon as Dey leaves, and a few minutes later Winn re-enters through Kara's open window. This time, when Lena turns her gaze back to Kara, she finds Supergirl gazing back at her. She's still in civilian clothing, her hair still twisted up like Kara Danvers', but it's the hero whose eyes lock on her, a large presence even as she regards Lena with a gaze that isn't anywhere near accusatory. Interesting. "What do you need?" Supergirl asks. Lena recenters herself with a silent, fortifying breath. "Lex. He's planning something, and I intend to stop him. And I will, with or without your help, but it would be faster with more bodies." She looks at the people who lied to her for years, held her at arm's length even as they made a show of embracing her. She doesn't need them, but to reclaim her legacy, Lena's willing to invite them in. If only enough to remove her brother from the field of play. "Who's interested?"

[inanotheruniversemusings]

i can see you there with the city lights; fourteenth floor, pale blue eyes

fill for Supercorptober2020 prompt: warm

read on ao3

“I have no idea how you’ve managed to convince me to do this.”

It’s the truth. Lena genuinely doesn’t know.

It’s a winter night, the coldest one yet in National City according to dozens of weather reports, and the temperature that flashes on the widget in her phone’s home screen.

There is absolutely no reason for Lena to do this, yet, she says yes anyway.

Maybe it’s the way Kara’s lips purse into a pout when Lena asks why, or the enthusiasm that she counters Lena’s puzzled frown with, well why not.

Or maybe it’s the playful glint in Kara’s eyes, her grin spright and her entire face radiant as she stands under the dim lights of Lena’s kitchen, pulling two modest-sized mugs from the drawer under Lena’s island counter.

And then she’s dipping the scoop in the tub, the muscles in her arm flexing along with the movement, and Lena absolutely isn’t mesmerized at all.

“Because you love me,” Kara says, shaking the scooper above one of the mugs and  begrudgingly forcing Lena to avert her gaze.

Well, that in itself is some kind of truth too, but it’s one that Lena isn’t willing to admit yet. At least not out loud, even in the safety of her very own apartment.

So Lena just hums in response, long and teasing, like she’s debating whether or not she does.

She does. Of course, she does. But Kara can’t know that, so she says, “Perhaps. But I’m not sure if it’s enough to make me eat ice cream when it’s five degrees below zero outside.”

“Really?” Kara asks, wide eyes looking confused. But the slight tilt of her head gives her away. “I don’t feel it.”

Lena rolls her eyes, grabs her Supergirl mug that she bought in irony but Kara loved, and saunters towards her couch, lest she does something incredibly stupid. Like kissing her best friend right in the middle of her kitchen, just because her smile is soft, and tender, and warm, and she’s looking at Lena in a way that makes Lena feel like she’s really more than just her name.

…

(Sam had told her once that Kara has always looked at her like that. But there’s a part of her that just can’t seem to see, that part of her who’s been trying hard not to find her happiness in the same places she lost it.

But she found Kara in the same place she’s lost her too, like she never really left; like she waited for Lena to make her way back, no matter how long it took.

Lena can’t help but hope it means something.)

…

“God, my lips are freezing.”

Kara stills from scraping the very last dregs of mint chocolate chip inside her mug, her last bite somewhat forgotten as she watches Lena swipe her tongue over her bottom lip.

“Why’d I let you convince me, again?”

“Because you love me,” Kara repeats. But it’s softer, breathless. Like she means it in a completely platonic way, and yet, means something else—more.

Lena sets her mug on the coffee table and shifts on her seat, faces Kara just so she can tuck her toes beneath Kara’s jeans. “That won’t work all the time, you know,” she tries to say. Though there’s a flush on her cheeks that Kara knows has nothing to do with the frosty concoction—but Kara doesn’t quite know what to do about that piece of knowledge—Lena’s eyes fixed on the miniscule bits of lint she picks off of her pants.

She hears the slightest clearing of throat, and the clink of Kara’s mug as she sets it right next to Lena’s. “But it did tonight,” Kara then teases. “I’ll work on another tomorrow. When we get burgers.”

“Oh, we are?” Lena asks. Her brow arches in a playful challenge, a movement that Kara’s eyes follow of their own accord until she catches herself and finds Lena smirking at her. “I’d have to check my calendar, I’m afraid.”

Kara groans out a stop, but she laughs when Lena does. She pulls Lena’s feet from underneath her thighs, placing them over her lap instead; takes that freedom then to scoot closer towards her best friend, her hands sliding up to find the tight knots Lena often gets in her calves after spending a long day in her Louboutins.

(And if a breathless moan slips out of Lena’s mouth, Lena doesn’t think she can be blamed, not when Kara’s hands are magic itself.)

“Anyway,” Kara presses on, pressing a thumb down on a particularly stubborn spot. “It’s burgers or Noonan’s. I’d be fine with anywhere as long as we don’t break our lunch streak.”

Lena’s breath hitches, an inopportune moment that Kara’s ears pick up on. Her fingers turn still, curled around Lena’s leg, and a look of worry quickly settles on her face. “Lena? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” rasps Lena; waves a hand to hide the way she surreptitiously clears her throat. “You were saying?”

Kara’s eyes squint, not quite believing it. “Is it your lips? Are they still cold?”

Her best friend nods, hesitant and slow. “A little, yes.”

“Want me to warm them up for you?”

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, fumbling for her next words. But seven Earth languages and Kryptonese only has her stammering out, “What?”

Kara then inches closer and leans forward—closer that Lena’s almost afraid she’ll hear how Lena’s heart is hammering beneath her chest, like it wants to escape its cage and leap straight into Kara’s hands, screaming it’s yours, it’s yours, right from the start.

(Kara probably already has, but Lena refuses to think about that now.)

Lena’s entire body stiffens as Kara lifts her hand, her chest heaving as if it’s the only way she knows how to stop her heart from falling out of its place.

Yet, in the end, it somehow does, when Kara’s hand sails past her head and into the thick blanket that’s draped over the couch arm, tugging at it until it slides down so she can wrap it around Lena’s shoulders.

Kara then opens her mouth to speak. Lena’s pretty sure she says there, all warm, but her head is suddenly filled with static, and there’s a buzzing in her ears that she can’t seem to shake. 

(Later she’d try to find the perfect word to describe it, a cross between embarrassment and disappointment. She’d coin it, if she has to.)

Kara’s mouth is still moving, yet Lena’s still unable to hear a thing. Until Kara ducks her head to meet her eyes, and a warm touch presses on one of her knees, trying to shake it.

“Lena?”

Lena, in turn, blinks at her. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then, it’s like her mind kicks itself back up and her tongue suddenly remembers how to articulate. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Kara frowns in concern. She rubs Lena’s legs to offer comfort, and then asks, “I said I’m going to go make you hot coco. To keep you warm.”

“Oh.”

Lena’s face twists into something Kara can’t quite discern, a split second that makes Kara feel like she’s missing something significant.

“Did you not want me to make you hot coco?”

“I,” Lena starts to say; sighs and then looks away, directing her gaze towards the view in her tall glass windows. “I guess I had something else in mind.”

Kara’s mouth moves again as if to ask her what exactly does she mean, her head shaking in confusion as she tries to come up with something else.

Lena’s it’s fine, don’t think about it doesn’t even register in her brain, her thoughts running a mile a minute, into memories and through snapshots of all their time together that she’s kept inside a proverbial box she named love. Until— 

Oh.

Lena watches a myriad of motions play out on Kara’s face, with a flushed red abruptly blooming on her cheeks almost making Lena worry if Kara’s even breathing.

But Kara settles on one, and it’s the kind of resolute look she’s only ever seen on Kara when she’s resolved to see through a decision she’s made till the very end.

“I want to take you out first. Before—before anything else.”

“Out?” Lena repeats.

“To dinner.”

“To dinner?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?”

“No,” Lena retorts, finally, finally able to compose herself given what has transpired the last five minutes. But where once there’s only the brink of a heartbreak, there is now the hope that Lena has purposely held herself from giving into, and bright promises of tomorrow Lena can’t wait to embark on.

“But you might. Because I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Kara gasps. “No?! Why?!”

Lena smirks. “Well, why not?”

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

What made us think that we were wise (and that we’d never compromise)

When Kara suffers a serious injury, she turns to the only person she can for help: Lena Luthor. As she receives medical aid, necessary conversations are had and a few reconsiderations of "facts" are made.

btw this was posted about 30 minutes before 5x05 aired

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21254813/chapters/50607092

CH. 1

     It’s a trap. That was the only thought that came through Kara’s brain as she hurtled toward the ground. It’s a trap. They had been here the whole time. Watching them. Infiltrating the DEO. The arrow, or more accurately the harpoon, had struck her in the chest. The chain dragging her to the ground jerked, pulling at the projectile lodged in her right lung. The shaft was an inch thick, and the head was tipped with kryptonite. It should have been an insignificant amount, really. It was so small that she likely would have to be squeezing it in her palm to cause any true power loss. But it was enough. Enough to cause a normally harmless metal harpoon to pierce through her skin and flesh.

     She hit the ground with an earth-shattering crash— literally. The ground around her erupted and formed a small crater where she lay. She could see the glass doors of the DEO balcony. Kara gasped for air, choking on her own breath, her own blood. She needed to get out of here. Now. A pair of sharp heels appeared over the ridge of the crater. Kara shifted her gaze down to the arrow sticking out of her chest. She reached for it, clumsily, hands slipping on its surface. It would not bend. Nth metal.

     “Did you really think you could get away with it? That you could just steal from us and we wouldn’t find out?” Those files, she thought sluggishly, How could they have found out so soon? She reached for the arrow again. There had to be something. Andrea Rojas stepped closer and knelt before her. “Who did you get to steal them? Your friend William unfortunately slipped on the north bridge before he could tell us and I doubt you could just waltz into our facilities, the cape is a bit flashy. Another reporter at CatCo perhaps? Kara Danvers has always been a bit suspicious.”      “Why—” Kara coughed, spattering the ground with blood, “Why would I tell you?” There, a small defect in the chain that attached to the arrow. They must have slipped when trying to set the metal. It wouldn’t have mattered for a human, or even a martian. But she was neither. Andrea fixed her with a piercing, cold stare.      “Because you are not going to die until you tell me who it is.” Kara laughed, the sound was more like a wet wheezing. Blindly, she began twisting the chain’s deformed edge.      “Then I’m afraid,” she spat, “You have wasted your time.” Just a bit more. Just a bit— SNAP. Andrea staggered backwards and Kara streaked into the sky.

     Kara sped away from the DEO, towards the desert. If she got far enough out and then dropped, the scanner would lose her position. Kara’s vision blurred. How much blood had she lost? A craggy dune appeared in front of her; the old DEO base. She felt dizzy. There wasn’t time. She was running out of time— she dived. Changing course just before she hit the ground, Kara rocketed back toward the city. Alex was out of the question. There was no way to get to J’onn’s without attracting lethal attention. Who was left? Who— A gleaming white pillar of a building. A balcony protruding out of its smooth surface. Of course. Kara twisted her body and flew —or rather crashed— into the stone jut. She coughed again, each time there seemed to be more blood. Sluggishly, Kara pushed herself upright. She barely suppressed a whimper as sharp pain flared through her side.      “Hope, move the meeting with Wayne Industries to Tuesday and— Kara? Fuck. Kara!” The fast pattering of heels sounded across stone. Kara looked up dazedly as Lena pressed her hands to the wound in Kara’s chest.      “Hey Lena, you wouldn’t happen to have a first aid kit would you?”  Lena let out a choked sputtering, kicked off her heels and ran down a hall, returning with a large first aid kit. Lena put Kara’s arm over her shoulder as Kara pushed herself inside, studiously avoiding the white carpet. Kara pulled the suit back into her glasses and sadly picked at the now blood-soaked button-up she had been wearing under it. She had really liked this shirt. Lena eased it off her shoulders, focusing on the arrow protruding between Kara’s 7th and 8th ribs— and cursed.      “Jesus, Kara, you need a doctor. My medical experience is limited to genetics and microscopes. I need to call Alex—”       “NO!” Kara’s hand flashed forward, catching Lena’s arm. “No. You call her, you kill us all.” Lena set the phone down slowly,      “Kara, what the hell is going on.”      “I promise, I will explain everything, but the abbreviated version is Andrea is a lot more shady and connected than I thought.” Lena cursed again and pulled on nitrile gloves.      “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Kara laughed,      “Me too.” Kara huffed and focused down on the arrow. “Okay. What we need to do is push it through and out. There is a kryptonite point on the head. That’s the only reason it broke my skin. The longer we leave it in the worse I will get and once we remove the arrow some of the damage will retain because of the kryptonite. It might even scar.” She pressed at the bloody pole in her side,  “If we try and pull it, the head could break off, or it could cause even more damage than it already has.” Lena nodded. “So, what I need you to do, is get out gauze, and when I pull out this arrow, press down on the wound. I just need you to stem the blood long enough for it to begin to heal, Okay?”      “Okay.” Lena got out gauze and Kara pushed herself further upright, placing her hands on the shaft.      “1… 2…” Kara braced herself. “3.” She pushed the arrow through. It took every ounce of resolve left in her body not to scream. Gritting her teeth and pressing her head against the wall, she pushed as hard as she could. Lena stared in barely concealed horror as Kara forced the projectile out her back. Gasping for breath, Kara reached behind herself and pulled. The shaft came free with a quiet squelching. Lena clamped the gauze around both sides of the injury, and was very proud of managing not to retch. Blood spread across the ground in a slow-moving pool, stopping just shy of the carpet.  Kara smiled,      “It worked.”  Lena let out a breath. “You can stop squeezing the bandages now.”      “Right.” Lena laughed, it was tight and harsh. Kara placed her hands on Lena’s and pulled them away from the injury. Her hands were stiff as Kara pried up each finger, whispering soft assurances. At last, the gauze came away, revealing a 4-cornered slit in her flesh. There was a deep, hole like gash in the center where the shaft had been. But it was already ringed in pink, healing skin. The side gashes bore small forming scar tissue on their ends where they had been longer. It had stopped bleeding heavily.      “I’m going to stitch the wound closed, would you hand me the needle?”      “I can do that Kara, you’re injured you don’t have to—”      “Lena, have you ever sewed an injury closed before?”      “...No.”      “Are you honestly comfortable with stitching me up?” Lena sighed in defeat.      “No.”

     Kara smiled, following Lena’s eyes as she ducked her head in guilt. “I’m incredibly grateful of your help Lena, but I can do this, okay?” Lena hesitated and agreed, though she insisted that she could at least thread the damn thing. Kara only snorted— and immediately regretted it. Lena jerked forwards and put a steadying hand on her shoulder. Kara gave her a reassuring nod and took the needle. She clenched her teeth as she drew the needle through her skin. Lena kept her hand on Kara’s shoulder the whole time— until she started stitching the exit wound herself when it became obvious Kara was struggling with it, despite Kara’s continued objections. After watching Kara stitch the front, Lena was fairly capable of repeating the process on her back, though her stitches were certainly less clean (and a lot more shaky). The process didn’t take long. It was very odd, Lena thought, putting away the needle, seeing a wound so healed and yet… not. It was as though her body was healing from the inside out, rather than where the torn skin was closest to itself. You couldn’t tell how close Kara had come to dying. How many scars did her body hide with its healing? How many times had she almost died with Lena completely unaware? God, how many times had something like this happened with Alex, with James, with Winn. Lena remembered Reign, seeing supergirl fall. She had watched Kara fall. Lena threw her body around Kara, squeezing almost as tightly as she had with the gauze. 

     “You’re going to get your shirt all bloody.” Kara mumbled, “That thing probably costs more than my loft.” Lena only held her tighter,      “I don’t care.” She took a shuddering breath. “I can buy a new shirt, Kara, I can’t replace you.” Lena didn’t have to look at Kara’s face to know she was giving her signature dopey grin.      “I’m glad you still feel that way.”      “What do you mean? You’re my best friend, of course, I care more about you than a shirt.” Kara pulled out of the hug, she seemed almost mournful.      “That’s not what I mean.” Kara bit her lip, casting around for the right words. “After everything that’s happened, I’m glad I’m still important to you.” 

     Kara took a breath and looked Lena in the eye. “I know you’ve been lying to me.” Lena recoiled and Kara continued, “Please don’t try and claim you haven’t. I know you, Lena. I’m not blind. Your movements are all rehearsed, your words calculated. You avoid physical contact and what you do give is stiff. I know your ticks, I know how you lie, and you have been lying a lot. I’d guess the only really truthful thing you’ve said to me recently is that you haven’t been sleeping. Besides, ‘you need Lex’s journals to heal?’ Lena, in the prison last year you described reading them to be like stabbing out your eyes.” 

     Lena turned her head from Kara. She pulled off the nitrile gloves and fiddled with them balled in her hands. Kara sighed, “I’m not going to ask you why you did it, or what the truth was. I took those journals anyway because I wanted us to be fixed, but there is no easy fix. You’re allowed to be angry, Lena. I lied to you for years! Being angry is a part of healing, so please! Just... be angry with me.”     Kara’s eyes were imploring, Lena remembered the simulations she had run. There had been hundreds of them, thousands, and none had included this.

     “I— Kara—” Lena floundered for words, anything to get out of this, and it all came out in a rush, “I am angry. I am so, so angry. I hated you. I might still hate you. Everyone lied and you were supposed to be different! You made me think I could be different! And you lied. Over and over and over again. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know anything about you anymore, Kara— if that’s even your real name… I don’t even know your name. One second you were everything and the next— I just—”      “Kara Zor-El.”       Lena blinked. “What?”      “That’s my name. Kara Zor-El.” Kara pressed her lips together, took a nervous breath and continued.      “I love potstickers and donuts and sticky buns and soft sweatshirts and Disney movies. I was born in Argo City, in the Kandor region of Krypton. I have an adoptive sister, Alex. When we first met we hated each other,”she laughed. It took us years to even stand being in the same room. I speak over 35 languages and I learned calculus when I was five. I have a brilliant, beautiful best friend that I would do anything for and who has saved my life in more ways than one. I am the person I have always been. You just know a little more.” Lena said nothing. She just stared. Finally, she reached forward, as if to touch Kara’s arm, and quickly pulled back. She opened her mouth to speak, but seemingly could not find the words. Kara’s eyes crinkled at the corners and she leaned slightly forward.      “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” Lena searched her eyes for anything: some plot, an ulterior motive— there had to be something. But there wasn’t, just compassion and pain.      “Later—” Lena began, “Later, you and I need to have a long conversation about our relationship, about exactly what happened with Andrea and about—” She broke off, bit her lip and swallowed, “I have this… project, and you—” she sighed, “You are not going to like it.”      Kara smiled, “Whatever it is Lena. I promise, you’re not going to lose me.” Lena attempted to smile back but gave more of a pained grimace,       “I hope so.” Kara stretched out a hand– and quickly snatched it back upon seeing it was covered in semi-dried blood.      “Oh, sorry.”      “I suppose we could both use some cleaning up. You can use my shower while I clean this up.” Kara immediately began objecting,      “No! No! You get cleaned up, I’ll take care of this.”      “Kara, you’re hurt, I am not having you clean.” Kara began to push herself up.      “I’m mostly healed anyway and it’s my blood to clean up.”      “Kara—”      “You’ve done enough for me, Lena. Let me do this for you.”      “Kara, you—” She stopped at the look on Kara’s face. “Fine.” Lena relented, “But the minute you feel any pain, or you bleed or struggle at all you call me. Got it?”      “Yes, Ma’am.” Lena lips pursed,       “I’m serious Kara.”      “So am I. It will be okay, go clean up.” Hesitantly, Lena made her way to her bathroom and Kara slipped off her shoes and gathered cleaning supplies. Sighing, she surveyed the path of destruction she had wrought across Lena’s apartment. Bloody smears and footprints traced their way from the distinctly cracked balcony to the large crimson pool by the fireplace. Kara gathered the bloody linens in a pile near the balcony doors and began to painstakingly scrub the blood from the cement (literally, the bending required was in fact quite painful). She was almost done clearing the last smear on the fireplace when Lena returned, her hair wet and wearing a sweater and soft shorts.      “I can take care of the rest Kara, you go clean up.”      “I’m almost done it’s fine.”      “Kara, I’d prefer we didn’t just dump evidence in a trash can like a novice and I'm the only one who knows where the incinerator is.”      “You have a—” Kara gaped. She shook her head as Lena grinned. “Of course you do. Why not?”      “Come on darling, I can handle some paper towels and a shirt.” Kara opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out. She grumbled as she walked towards the bathroom, still carefully avoiding the white carpet. There were extra bandages outside the shower, and Kara sat her glasses next to them. She undressed her wounds, turned on the water and stepped into the shower still mostly clothed. Kara sighed as already heated water shot from all four walls, hitting her body and flowing pink down the drain. She placed her hands against a wall and leaned into the spray. Slowly, Kara began to peel away her bra and slacks. They were sticking to her skin where blood had congealed. She removed her underwear and just stood under the hot shower for a long while.

     Lena disposed of the pile of contaminated fabric and gauze in the small shoot hidden near the trash in her kitchen. Kara had done a good job cleaning up the blood, all that was left to prove she had ever even been there was a small crack on her balcony and Kara herself, currently standing in her bathroom. Lena was fine. She was fine. What gave Kara the right to feel pity? What gave Kara the right to sit there and tell her to be angry? How dare she sit there and look at her and make her feel so— No. She was fine. She didn’t care. She. Didn’t. Care. 

She cared. Fuck.

     A sharp knock broke Lena from her reverie. Only eight people in the world had this address. Except for one, all would call ahead. That ‘one’ was currently occupying her shower. Even if they knew where she lived, being able to get up to her floor without Lena knowing was another matter entirely. She was cautious as she approached the door, sliding a pistol from its drawer near the oven. She picked up her tablet and silently opened her camera program, which revealed a less than pristine looking Andrea Rojas standing outside her door. Of course she was.      

     She slipped the pistol into her waistband and (keeping a wary hand around it) opened the door.      “Andrea. I didn’t know you had my address.”      “Well, I like to keep tabs on old friends.” Lena snorted,      “Friends? Is that what they’re calling it now?” Andrea gave her a searching look,       “Well, are you going to invite me in?” Lena raised an eyebrow,       “You show up at my apartment, an apartment you are not supposed to know about, without notice, and now you expect an invitation?” Andrea chose to ignore that and swept into the room with the air of royalty.      “I’ll admit I’m surprised you’re actually relaxing for once. I’d assumed you’d have to come up from one of your secret labs.” Lena blew air out her nose in barely contained irritation.      “Andrea I’m rather busy so if you would please—”      “I’m looking for Supergirl.” Well, that was forward.      “Excuse me?” Andrea turned and fixed Lena with a hard glare.      “Supergirl? Flies around the city with a cape and laser eyes? Figure head of the media company I just bought from you?” Lena was forced to use an exorbitant amount of energy to stop herself from rolling her eyes,      “I know who Supergirl is Andrea, my question is why you’re looking for her and why you came here.” Andrea barely seemed to notice the irritation in Lena’s voice, instead, scanning the apartment.      “Look, Supergirl is Catco’s money tree. Half our news articles are about her and I haven’t yet had time to shift our news base. She dies and we’re toast.” Andrea sighed irritably. It was almost believable. “Supposedly, there was a fight involving her and some stragglers from the Children of Liberty trying to make a comeback. My sources say she was injured fairly badly and delirious. I figured she might come here. I know you two are friends.”      “Friends is a strong word.” Lena said dryly. That got Andrea’s attention,      “Ooh, trouble in paradise.”      “You are assuming there was a garden in the first place.”      “Lena, dear, you built her a statue.”      “I hadn’t worked with her yet.”      “Still, if she isn’t here, why do you have a gun in your waistband?” Lena froze. Quickly smoothing out her face, she gave Andrea an incredulous look.      “You come to my apartment at 10 pm, without calling ahead, with no invitation and want to know why I have a gun? You do realize how many people have tried to kill me right?” Andrea tilted her head back slightly, her eyes narrowed.        “Lena! Your shower is incredible! The—” Lena cringed. Kara went stock still. She was wearing one of the short bathrobes Lena had set out in the bathroom. At least she was wearing her glasses. Kara blinked and rubbed her eyes as if to dispel a vision. “There is a person here.” Andrea’s eyebrows were dangerously close to being enveloped by her hair.      “You didn’t mention having… company.” Lena smiled, it was reminiscent of a tiger baring its fangs.       “I did say I was busy.” Kara stepped forward, placing an arm around Lena’s waist. Her face was a similar color to her cape.      “Ms. Rojas, I didn’t know you’d be stopping by.” If her voice had been any higher pitched it would have been inaudible to the human ear. Andrea simply gaped. Finally she cleared her throat and said,      “It wasn’t a planned visit, Ms. Danvers.” Andrea flicked her eyes between the two women. Lena could practically see the cogs turning inside her brain. “Well, I think I’m done here.” Andrea cleared her throat. “If you hear anything Lena, do call.” She began toward the door.      “I— Ms. Rojas!” Kara squirmed and Andrea turned back. “Would you— I mean— I just—”      “Spit it out Danvers.”      “Would you maybe not tell anyone about this?” Somehow Kara managed to turn even redder. “It’s just that nobody knows and I really don’t want to have that conversation, especially if I’m not the one bringing it up and I know it could be a big story but—”      “Ms. Danvers.” Kara snapped her mouth shut. “So long as you two keep away from my cameras, your business is your business.” Andrea actually smiled,      “I’ll admit this does explain, well, a lot. Enjoy your… evening.” Andrea slipped out the door, into the elevator and reached for her earpiece.      “You heard all that. Pack up the team, she’s not here.”

     Kara and Lena remained frozen and silent until Lena’s tablet beeped with the notification that the elevator was descending. Great. Now it worked. As soon as she read the notice, Kara leapt away from Lena as though she had been burned.      “I am so, so sorry. It was the first thing that popped into my head. I just thought that was the best way to convince her she was wrong and if she figured out you were helping me you’d be a target too and I figured you’d prefer this over getting murdered and— Why are you laughing?”      Lena shook as she struggled to draw in breath. She looked up at Kara and simply redoubled in fits of laughter. Kara opened and closed her mouth like a gasping fish. Finally taking pity on Kara, she spoke,      “Kara. I would much prefer Andrea Rojas believe we are having a secret love affair than both of us getting shot.” She grinned, “Plus, that was the funniest thing I have seen in actual years. You made Andrea Rojas sputter like a 5 year old caught with their hand in the cookie jar.” Kara ducked her head and fidgeted with her sleeves.      “You sure?”      “Yes.” Lena took Kara’s cheeks in her hands and lifted her head up to eye level. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She raised an eyebrow, “Besides, for a friend like you there are no boundaries, remember?” Kara seemed to glow as her face split in a toothy smile. “Come on, you shouldn’t be standing this long with your injuries.” Lena carefully took Kara’s arm and sat her on the couch. Kara winced heavily at the angled motion. They sat together then, Kara resting her head on Lena’s shoulder, and after a few minutes Lena recognized the even breaths of sleep. Kara isn’t her friend, Lena reminds herself, Kara Danvers is not her friend. But maybe, a traitorous corner of her mind whispers, maybe she could be.

[korra-the-red-lion]

Arrowverse round up.

Okay, the Arrowverse has ended for the year! Literally, it’s not coming back until January of 2021. You may take a second to mourn.

You good? Yeah? Good, let’s go.

So I just wanted to write down some thoughts on the seasons for each Arrowverse show this season.

Arrow: This was Arrow’s last season. I’m really going to miss this series. Even if you stopped watching it, didn’t like it, or whatever, you have to at least acknowledge that this show did start it all off. There would be none of the shows listed after if it wasn’t for Arrow’s surprising success. Anyway, I really liked this season. Every episode was really good, and it tied up most, if not all, of the loose ends of Oliver’s story. The Green Arrow and the Canaries episode was really good, and the finale was very solid. I’m going to miss it a lot, so thank you Arrow. I’d say this season was a strong 8.5/10.  

Batwoman: HOLY MOLY, this show PLAYED me. The first few episodes were rough around the edges, but by the time Crisis happened, I was hooked. Alice is an amazing villain, and even Ruby Rose impressed me. Having James Bamford directed the action scenes after he was done with Arrow was the right choice. Kate was a really interesting character because she did kill someone, and was learning how to live with that. The PTSD episode was really good. I hate the rumours that Kate is being replaced with a new character. That erases everything this last season has done. Keep Kate, because otherwise I’m afraid that this show will just be left behind. This was a solid 8/10.

Black Lightning: Seriously, I don’t know how people haven’t watched BL yet. The music, the lighting, the mood of the show. Jefferson, Lynn, Anissa, Jen, all of them. I was especially fond of Grace finally having character development. This is something that people should watch, because it masterfully intertwines superhero storytelling with real world issues. The ASA beating on innocent black kids for no real reason...sound familiar? While there were a couple of small things I didn’t like this season, overall it really overcame some of s2′s weaknesses and came out swinging. 9/10.

The Flash: Okay, I have been a little harsh on the Flash this season. I think I just got frustrated that Iris was finally having agency and having a story line that focused on her WITHOUT Barry, and they basically cut that short by throwing her into the Mirrorverse. That being said, I really liked both Ramsey and Eva as the villains. Some of the Post-Crisis episodes were a tad boring for me, but Ralph and Sue’s episodes were stand out’s. The (sorta) finale had some really great fights, and Barry’s fight against Godspeed was really cool too. Overall, this was not my favourite season of Flash, but it was solid. 7.5/10. 

Legend’s of Tomorrow: Oh my, this season. Not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed in last season. LoT usually balanced the goofiness with the serious well, but I felt like they dropped the ball last year. They fixed that this year. This season was pretty good. Tala Ashe proves yet again she is one of the best actresses in the entire Arrowverse by flawlessly playing both Zari Tomaz and Zari Tarazi. Ray’s (forceful) departure was sad, bittersweet, goofy, and overall a fantastic Legends episode. Zari 2.0 grew on me, and so did Constantine. The finale was really good, with the Thong Song battle scene, the emotional goodbye of Zari 1.0 and Sara finally getting some well-deserved love. I’m a little annoyed by the finale, so I hope they don’t screw this up. I’d say it’s an 8.5/10.

Supergirl: Okay, I have a slight Supergirl bias. Be forewarned. This season was definitely not the best season in the series, I will admit that. 5A started off really, really strong, much like Flash. It was Supergirl in top form, with big emotions, big speeches and big fights. Crisis happened, and then it got messy. That being said, I personally didn’t think it was as bad as some fans made it out to be. Again, this is my PERSONAL opinion, so it’s okay if you feel differently. There were some good episodes, like the Bottle Episode, It’s a Super Life, Reality Bytes, Alex in Wonderland, and Deus Lex Machina (which would have been better had it not been done last season, but it was still good). I didn’t really like Back to the Future, because it didn’t feel necessary to me to bring Winn back. Was William in it far too much? Yes. Will Superforced happen next year? We’ll see. Overall, I’d say this season for me was 8/10, just because I did enjoy it more then Flash most of the time.

One last thing, I do recommend checking out DC’s Stargirl. I’ve been pretty impressed with it so far. Anyway, these are just some quick thoughts of mine. Feel free to converse with me about it if you’d like. I’m always up for a healthy conversation. 

[sapphicscholar]

Summary: Kara Danvers and Cat Grant are happily together. SunnyD and QueenOfAll are almost kind of online friends. What happens when the two worlds collide? (Hint: It's fluff and crack. The world is angsty enough.)

Fic Preview:

Kara couldn’t help the grin as she glanced down at her email, waiting until Cat was busy chopping vegetables for dinner to finally see how people liked the latest chapter she’d posted.

LucyNotLawless left the following comment on In Pieces:

I hate you. Not really. But fix this.

Gothamsfinest left the following comment on In Pieces:

Wow didn’t know you had it in ya kid. Good job. A. won’t admit it, but you totally broke her.

EJ left the following comment on In Pieces:

IM SOBBING! IN PUBLIC! IM NOT OKAY

ldncalling left the following comment on In Pieces:

How could you?? Things were finally going well for them and now…. You’re gonna make it right, yeah? Like…you didn’t tag angst without a happy ending sooooo they get their happy ending?

It wasn’t like Kara enjoyed making her readers cry, but they clicked on a story with tags like “angst” and “seriously there be angst,” so really, it wasn’t her fault that they were all sad now. Besides, if they didn’t want to read it, she’d written dozens of fluffy fics they could go read featuring found families and happily ever afters and even that one 20-chapter coffeeshop AU for a longtime reader who’d been going through a hard time.

Her phone chirped with another email alert, and she ignored the questioning look from Cat as she quickly pulled it up.

And…yet another trollish comment from the very unsubtly named PrinceDax about how she should stick to things she knows how to write. She never should have let Mon-El have access to her computer. One day on Reddit, and suddenly he thought he’d found a sense of humor.

“Is that work?” Cat asked as Kara grumbled under her breath.

“What? Oh, uh, no. Just spam. Thought I’d finally gotten my filters right, but I guess not.”

“Do you want me to take a look?”

“No!” Kara yelped, shoving her phone into her back pocket. “I’ll get Winn to look at it. It’s fine.”

Read the rest on AO3!

[karlenasuperluthor]

Not Very Okay At All

Hey there, this is my first Supergirl one shot, so I hope it’s good. It’s also the first time I wrote a dialogue-heavy thing, I usually don’t have much dialogue in what I write so this was a nice thing to do, not sure it’s my style, but it was fun to try.

Anyway, this is a little 2k words 5x19 fix-it/ what I think happened after the end of the episode.

Anyway, I’m gonna shut up. Enjoy. I would love to know what you think.

Oh! Also! Here’s an AO3 link, in case you prefer to read it there.

~~~~~

When the day ended, after Leviathan was defeated with the help of Brainy and everyone decided to come back tomorrow, fresh and well rested, to figure out how to take down Lex.

Kara offered Lena to come back to her place, order some take out and talk. They started while they were in Lena's lab, but they kept getting interrupted and Kara felt like she needs to talk this through with Lena if they ever want to move on and try to become friends again.

So here they were, in Kara's living room, with three pizza boxes on the table. One plain, mostly for Lena, one with pepperoni and another one with pineapples. They were all half eaten, with Kara take a slice from a different box every time and Lena only eating three slices before she was full.

They were silent all this time, neither knowing what to say to start the conversation in fear of saying the wrong thing while also not really knowing what they want to say. Eventually, though, Kara got tired of the silence and spoke up.

“You know what? Yes, I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, but I did. But you never listened to me, you used me, and you intentionally looked for ways to hurt me. And, yes, I probably could have done this differently, but I didn’t hurt you intentionally. I tried to do the right thing, tell you the truth. But you also forgot that I never owed it to you, no matter how much you mean to me, how much I meant to you.

"My truth was mine to share when I was ready. Because it's more than just a secret identity, it's also about my past, my planet, my family. The trauma of seeing my plant literally explode right in front of my eyes, knowing that my entire family and friends are there and there's nothing I can do to keep them alive. It's about being trapped in the Phantom Zone for 24 years, without time passing, the only thing keeping me occupied are the images of losing my plant playing over, and over, and over in my mind, in an endless loop, and being only 13 and not knowing if I'll ever get to earth, or if I'll spend the rest of eternity in this pace where time doesn't pass, where I would be forever stuck as a 13 year old. I was supposed to take care of my baby cousin, at 13 I was given the responsibility of taking care of him. And there I was, stuck in this place, absolute silence and darkness surrounding me, and I didn't know what would happen to me, what would happen to Kal-El, where he was.

"And don't– don't tell me that you're sorry, that you didn't know, because you not knowing that was a result of your actions, of you using me, leading me on for weeks, and then refusing to listen to me, to talk to me, no matter how hard I tried to have this conversation with you. You refused to talk to me, so you not knowing is a result of your actions and your decisions, because I tried, at every single turn, to give you a chance, give you the benefit of the doubt. I fought for you at the DEO, telling my sister and my friends that you were just confused, that you were just processing and that you needed time. But instead, you proved them all right. You went and used me, stole from me, used kryptonite against me, even after I told you why it scares me so much.

"I only made one single mistake, and that is not telling you the truth as soon as I was ready, letting Alex decide for me that it's not a good time, no matter when I wanted to do it. But you let that dictate your actions this entire year, you decided that your anger and hurt is more important to you than our friendship. And I know– I know that you didn't mean to let it get this far, but I gave you so many options to stop, to get out of the path you were on, and then you went and worked with Lex of all people, after everything he did to you. After all the times he betrayed you, tried to get you killed, gained your trust just so that he could manipulate you. You went to him, instead of me, when you knew I would listen to you, and talk to you, if you just gave me the chance."

Kara poured out every single thought she ever had over the last year, since she told Lena the truth, and Lena was stunned into silence.

"I… uh… I'm sorry." Lena said quietly. Kara could see the tears in her eyes, could hear the way she was holding them back. Lena took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm sorry I never listened to you, you were right, I let my anger and hurt lead the way. I thought I knew everything about you, and then you revealed this huge piece of information, and I felt so stupid. I just thought to myself 'wow, if it was this easy for her to hide something as big as this, what else could she be hiding from me?' and instead of coming to you, I just stewed in my anger, let it build and consume me. And then… then then the crisis happened, and suddenly Lex was part of the good guys, supposedly, and he came to me, and told me he'll work with me, used a truth seeker on himself to prove to me he was telling the truth, and I just followed him blindly, because he accepted me, this version of him never lied to me. And it was just so much easier to trust him so blindly than try and repair our relationship.

"But you're right, it was your truth to tell when you were ready. I just never thought about everything else that came with you being Supergirl, being an alien, because it was so much easier to be mad at you when I don't let my mind validate your actions. When I let myself be angry from having to find out from my dying brother. He used his dying breath to tell me this, knowing that this is when he did with it, while you had three years of friendship to come to me with this, it was so easy to justify my actions to myself and everyone around me. To push everyone I love away."

Kara opened her arms to Lena after she saw she was finished, indicating that she wanted a hug.

"You know, you need to stop assuming every time someone hurts you it was intentional and because you're a Luthor. Because as far as I'm concerned, as well as our friends, you're just Lena. You need to understand that once people get to know who you are, under the CEO persona with the killer heels and designer clothes and the looks that could kill, we see our friend Lena who likes to wear t-shirts with bad science puns on them and loves red wine and is crazy good at Monopoly even thought it's supposed to be pure luck, and cries and cried during every single movie we watch. We love you for you, and we keep you around because we like the person you are when you're around us, not because we want to keep an eye on the crazy Luthor that might go over the edge at any second. And know that you can always come to us for help, because we're never going to judge you for needing help"

"I promise I'm gonna try." Lena smiled a soft smile at her best friend.

"That's all I could ever ask for"

Kara tightened her arms around her best friend, happy that she finally got everything she ever wanted to say off her chest.

"Hey Kara?" Lena whispered

"Yeah?"

"Can we try and go back to being friends? I know it'll never be the same as before, or what it could have been, but I want to try, because I never had a friend like you, and I don't want to lose you"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

After a little while, Kara spoke up again.

"You know, another reason I never told you was because being friends with you was always so easy. You never expected me to always be okay, always be strong. My friends, and Alex, no matter how hard they try, they always see Supergirl when they look at me, even if they don't mean to. They always see that beacon of hope and love and compassion, and they always expect me to be strong, and happy, and provide comfort, that they sometimes forget that I need that comfort every now and then. That sometimes I need to be taken care of.

"They forget that sometimes I have bad days, because it isn't always easy to be happy after everything that happened to me. I have days when I need my mom more than anything, to hug her and feel her arms around me, smell her hair that I swear smelled like sunshine, or hear her voice telling me that everything is going to be okay. And I miss the way my dad would sneak me into his lab, and teach me everything he knows, and let me do my own science experiments, blowing stuff up, and accidentally setting equipment on fire, or how he would call me his sunshine, his piece of Rao. And I miss prying with my parents for Rao. I miss the red hue everything had from the light of Rao, and the way His color would change when the sun was setting, and everything would get this deep, dark red color and how beautiful it was. I miss knowing exactly where my life was going, knowing that once I finish my education, I'm going to be in the Science Guild with my father. I was so excited to get to spend every single day with him, he was my best friend. And I know they aren't doing it on purpose, trying to make me feel bad for not being okay, but they still do it, even Alex.

"But I never had that with you, you never expected Kara to be okay all the time, because just Kara was only human. I was only human to you, and you accepted me on my bad days just like you did on my good days, because part of being human was getting hurt, and not being okay. And sometimes I have days where I don't feel okay for no apparent reason, I just do, and it was okay. You never judged me. Never expected me to be this beacon of hope because you didn’t know that was me, and I wasn't ready to risk that, to possibly let that go."

"Hey, here's the thing. There are two things that you need to know. The first thing is that even those people, who seem to have got everything in life all sorted out... they probably haven't. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. And the second thing you need to know... is that it's okay to feel Not Very Okay At All. It can be quite normal, in fact. And all you need to do, on those days when you feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don't ever feel like you have to hide the fact you're feeling Not Very Okay At All. Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there."

"Did you just quote Winnie the Pooh at me?" Kara giggled

"Yes, yes I did" Lena smiled as she said that.

"I never pegged you for a Winnie the Pooh kinda gal"

"Kara Danvers, there is a lot you still don't know about me"

"Well, I can't wait to find out"

~~~~~

For anyone wondering, this is the full Winnie the Pooh quote, it’s one of my favorites.

[team-science-mega-nerds]

Fictober Prompt #19: “Yes, I admit it, you were right.” 

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Danvarias

Warnings: Minor mentions of drug use

Thirteen miles from a bustling city with a designer landscape, quaint eateries, and a baseball team that nearly became the pride of Ohio is a rural blip on the map that is better left ignored. Duntown, which the residents resentfully call Doomstown, is a place that makes you reckon with reality. Ramshackle churches and hate crimes that people struggle to name, the folks of this city fear everything they do not know. For most that means outsiders. They turn up their noses and yell out the windows of their pick-up trucks. Go back where you came from! For some, their greatest fear is the only thing they’ve ever known - church. They drag themselves to Sunday service, seeking forgiveness for the things they cannot control. 

The two most popular places in Duntown are a local bar that serves stale beer and moonshine - if you know how to ask just right - and a weekly flea market that sets up in the parking lot of the local high school. Tents and tables are propped up around potholes that will never be fixed and people banter and barter their mundane little lives away. 

The biggest plight of the city takes everyone by surprise. It happens so fast that people struggle to make time between work - at a fading steel mill - and Sunday’s services to figure out exactly what’s going on. It’s a funeral of all things that sparks the interest of the collective town. Watching their children play in a field that they will probably never grow out of and eating bologna sandwiches and salad that’s nothing but iceberg lettuce and croutons, Sam’s entire life changes. 

“Went to water my plants this morning. That darn water,” Deborah says shaking her head, “looked like someone done pissed in it.” It’s the way she says it, all bite and resolute, apprehension comes to a head. That’s what catches Sam’s attention. It seems like just another thing to fear, another thorn in her side. Sam’s eyes go to Ruby, she’s laughing and playing tag with her friends. Ruby’s at that age where youth slowly starts to crumble and she’ll become aware of the world around her. 

Sam can see Tuffy and John sitting near a makeshift shrine of Kevin. They drink and drink, saluting their dead friend who perished on a normal workday at the mill. To date, Sam had been to seven funerals of people she’d known from high school. They all died in the same place, all had funerals presided over by the same poverty-stricken mourners, and all had after funeral receptions just like this. Tuffy and John smoked meth behind Mrs. Ainsley’s - Kevin’s mother - car. And all this was normal. All this met Sam’s expectations. 

Water that she had to boil before drinking did not. 

Deborah had made the comment about the drinking water six months ago and now, Sam seemed to be the only one brave enough to do something about it. Her bravery was, in fact, an accident. She’d been weaving in and out of her trailer home, trying to carry all of the groceries that she’d purchased at Costco six towns over. Ruby was supposed to be taking a bath and then going right to bed, Sam didn’t want to argue about it. Not today. 

It’d been a long road, getting where they are now. Borrowing from people she despised, working extra shifts at the grocery store, and relying on nosy neighbors to babysit. Sam, you’re a pretty girl. They’ve got some good men at the mill. She’d got a daily reminder of just how cute she was by handsy men, most of whom would go on to live and die at that very mill. Now that Sam and Ruby had a place of their own, things were starting to look up. “Mom. Mom!” Sam grabs four bags at once and rushes inside. She dumps the bags and throws the bathroom door open. 

“Oh, Rubes,” It’s a rash, tiny and probably inconsequential, but Sam has promised herself to always put Ruby first. Yellow water that has been slowly turning brown for months, and a rash, are enough to get Sam to make a call. 

The call itself goes terribly. She doesn’t know who to ask for or how to ask for what she wants. The secretary on the other end uses big words that feel suffocating. All Sam wants is to be safe. “Do you understand? I need you to send someone who can help us feel safe.” Sam feels like she blew it the moment she hangs up. She deeply considers moving. The cost is far outside of her reach but if she asks the right people and is willing to speak to her mother again, then she can make it happen. 

“Someone sent you an email!” Bernice, who everyone just calls Bezza, yells from where she’s seated in front of her trailer. Rocking and knitting like always. Sam approaches with Ruby at her side. “Remember when you showed me how to use the ‘Gmail’? Well, I guess your account is still up. The noise that email made, scared me to hell and back.”

“Who’s it from?” Sam can’t remember the last time she’d gotten an email that wasn’t about her missing a bill. 

“Some law firm.” Sam nearly trips on herself as she runs into Bezza’s trailer. She pushes past mounds of newspapers and boxes of old junk and finds her desktop computer. Sam bites her nails while she waits for the computer to wake up. She listens to Bezza tell Ruby about all of her fantastic finds at the flea market that week. Sam feels nauseous. 

When she finally manages to get to her email, Sam has to rifle through a bunch of spam and late fee notices to get to an email from Danvers & Danvers Law Offices: 

Dear Ms. Arias, 

I’ve received some initial information about Duntown and I am concerned about the lack of progress being made on behalf of your town. I’d like to come and talk to you sometime within the next few weeks. Please send me a list of dates and times that you are available to meet and we will work something out.

Alex Danvers LL.M. 

Sam rereads the email five times before typing out her response. She’s embarrassed that she’s only free to meet after eight most days, but she leaves room for other suggestions like a phone call. She sends the email and immediately gets a response. They’ll meet at The Tipsy Cow at 8:30 the following day. “Mom, you took like fifty years,” Ruby, who is far too aware and mature for a nine-year-old, says as they walk back to their trailer. “Bezza smells like mothballs.” Ruby hops up the steps one by one and they enter and both go in search of something that will pass for dinner. 

“I had to answer an email,” Sam explains. “Don’t comment on how people smell unless it’s nice.” 

“I like moths.” Ruby finds an apple in the fridge and munches on that while Sam gets to work on Hamburger Helper. “Who emailed? Delany’s mom got a new boyfriend. They went to Chicago for the weekend.” Sam wishes she could tell Ruby that Delany’s mom’s new boyfriend is an alcoholic who has questionable world views. Instead, she remains silent. “Can we go to Chicago?” 

“Someday.”

“There’s a giant bean there!” Ruby gets lost in an old Almanac, Sam starts to think that she’s made a grave mistake. Big corporations don’t take too kindly to meddling women. Sam’s a nobody, she knows that and what kind of lawyer travels all the way from National City just to talk? If Sam had a computer of her own, she’d email this Alex Danvers right now, and tell him to forget it. But dinner and bedtime stories get in the way of those thoughts. 

Sam is hunkered down at work just enough to forget all about it until it’s six-thirty and Ruby is asking why she has to stay at Deborah’s house that night. “I have to meet someone and I don’t know how long it’ll take. You like Deborah.”

“I like you more,” Ruby tells her pouting and sulking the whole walk over. The minute they arrive at the ranch house, Ruby sees Scout, an Australian Shepherd mix, and she forgets all of her misgivings. 

“Everything alright?” Deborah asks as they both watch Ruby, and her oversized backpack, bouncing around the yard. “You finally meeting someone?”

“A lawyer. Just to talk about the water situation.”

Deborah turns very serious. “You be careful now,” She warns, echoing the same tone that Sam’s mother had when she told her about this last night. Sam kisses Ruby goodbye and returns home to change into something more presentable. She settles for a turquoise shift dress and white platform sandals. The bar is close which is good for most people in the trailer community but terrible for Sam. On more than one occasion, there have been fights that have broken out right outside of Sam’s window. For now, she considers it a good thing that she lives so close, otherwise, she might have been late. 

The Tipsy Cow represents all the good and bad of the town. Everyone certainly knows everyone but that means that things often boil over and get heated in these very walls. Sam normally wouldn’t be caught dead alone in this place but it’s 8:30 and she doesn’t think she’ll have to wait long. 

Unless this big city lawyer is late. 

Sam orders a club soda and finds a booth in the back. They’ll need a quiet place to talk and there are too many mill workers crowding the bar and watching some baseball game that Sam could care less about. There’s a little bit of a lull, which Sam hardly notices until one of the mill workers barks - yes, barks - at a woman who’s just entered the bar. That kind of ruckus signals outsider, so Sam lifts her head to see what’s going on. The woman is wearing a grandad collar white button-up, mid-wash blue jeans, and a blazer that could probably pay off Sam’s mortgage. The briefcase is the thing that catches Sam’s attention the most. 

Oh, she sits up properly, Alex Danvers is a woman. 

Alex doesn’t notice Sam just yet. She checks her expensive watch, mutters fuck, and orders something from the bar. When Sam sees the bartender going for the tap, Sam rises to her feet and approaches. “I’d advise against that.” Alex turns looks between Sam and the bartender and taps her head as if to say ‘duh’. 

“Long drive. The brain’s on autopilot.” Alex motions to the bartender. “I’ll take a soda.” 

“We say pop around here,” Sam informs the lawyer. Once Alex has her soda, she follows Sam to the booth, and extends her hand. “So, you’re Alex.”

“Yep. And you’re Sam?”

“Yes.” Sam sits first. Alex slides her briefcase into the seat across from Sam and takes off her blazer before sitting. 

“Am I late?”

“Only by a few minutes.” Sam smiles. “I see you got a good Doomstown welcome,”

“Doomstown?”

“This place. It’s a nickname of sorts.” Alex frowns. 

“Doesn’t look doomed from where I’m sitting.” Sam toys with her straw trying not to get distracted by Alex placing her briefcase on the table. Alex pulls out a few documents and sets them on the table. “I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Coores & Phillips Company seems to be the main corp involved. They have the proper ordinances to drill in Cook and Favors county, but as you know, they’ve been drilling near the border here.” Alex goes to take a drink of her soda, but Sam reaches forward and grabs the glass first. “What?” 

“Don’t drink that.” 

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“The bartender put moonshine in that.” Sam quickly lets go of the glass when she realizes that their fingers are touching. Alex laughs, uncomfortably, at the very suggestion that she’d get her drink spiked. “I’m serious.” 

“I can handle my liquor.”

“Don’t be...stupid. We’ve got no-joke moonshine out here.” There’s a competitive drive in Alex. Sam imagines that makes for some magic in the courtroom. “Those papers can tell you plenty but not enough. This place isn’t some cute little town that needs big city saving. It’s been six months, soon people are going to start fighting back.” 

“And how would they? Fight back I mean.” 

“You see those guys?” Sam nods toward the men at the bar, cheering for a homerun. “When they’re not working, they’re drinking. And if they’re drinking and on crank, then guns get involved.”

“We’ll need a town hall meeting. Something to show everyone that the problems are being addressed.” Alex takes a sip of her drink and grimaces. “We did a case in Texas two years ago. A nice settlement too.” 

“How much were the lawyer fees?”

Alex shakes her head. “No, no, nothing like that. This is pro-bono-.”

“I’ll pay. We’ll scrape money together. I’m not a charity case.” Alex seems to recognize Sam’s seriousness, so she lets it go in favor of mulling something over in her mind. 

“Show me.” 

“Show you...what?” 

“This town. Show me what I’m missing.” Alex pays for their drinks and manages to polish off the rest of her soda before following Sam out of the bar. They get another bark on their way to Alex’s car, Sam turns sharply. 

“Fuck off!” She warns. She’s seen these guys before. Heard their poor pickup lines. She won’t let them bully what might be their saving grace. 

“Oh, mommy’s pissed,” One of them says as Alex unlocks her car. Alex looks like she might say something, but Sam grabs her arm and continues to pull her along. When they’re in Alex’s SUV, which is a black Porsche Cayenne, Alex looks over at her sympathetically. 

“You have a kid?” 

“A daughter.” Alex will probably ask more but for now, she drives out of the parking lot and down the road. “Nice car.”

“Thanks,” Alex says a slight smile on her face. 

“I was being sarcastic, you can’t drive this thing around.” Sam points to her trailer which is only a block away. “You need to pull over there. You can park by my place.” Alex follows directions well but seems less than eager when they get out of the car and start walking. “Don’t worry.” 

“I’m not worried,” Alex lies. They approach the church. Sam hasn’t stepped foot in there in four years and counting. Alex seems to acknowledge her jitters by slowing near the front door. “This the kind of place for you?”

“Girls like me avoid places like that,” Sam tells her. “Didn’t always. Things change.” The streets are quiet on the weeknights. The further you get from the bar, the easier it is to forget what kind of town this is. Sam glances up at the sky, the pollution from the mill has changed the whole world from Sam’s perspective. She doesn’t want Ruby growing up in a place without stars and with rusty water. “You shouldn’t take this case.”

“Why not?”

“I saw the way you looked at those guys. Like you wanted to say something or fight.” Sam stops Alex before they reach the long pathway that leads to the mill. “But you didn’t.”

“I would’ve. Easily. You don’t know me.” Alex sticks her hands in her pockets. “My mom would say that this is a lost cause. That we’ll get buried under big corporate lawyers, but our firm is solid. We’ll get you paid-.”

“If you think any of this is about money, then you don’t understand.”

“I do understand.” Alex touches the small of Sam’s back. She isn’t certain what to make of the gesture but she’ll remember it in case things take a turn for the worst. “Whoa.” Alex bends over with her hands on her knees. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“That moonshine.”

“Oh,” Sam laughs. “Yeah, it takes a bit to bite you like that.” Sam wraps her arm under Alex’s shoulder and guides her back down the road. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I could just use some water, which...I recognize is a problem.” 

“I have bottled water at home.” Even though they’re strangers, Sam feels comfortable enough with Alex to invite her into her trailer. For one, there’s nothing worth stealing in the place. And two, Alex has just decided to put so much on the line to help out. Sam wishes she’d cleaned up more. Or maybe folded up her couch so it would look like there was more space but Alex seems mainly focused on water, so Sam buries her shame. 

“Thanks,” Alex mumbles as she leans against the counter and downs half the bottle. Sam tries not to stare when Alex untucks her shirt and looks around the modest kitchen. 

“I told you not to drink that shit.”

“Okay, yes, I admit it. You were right.” Alex shrugs it off. Sam sits at the tiny wooden table and starts unlatching her sandals. When she’s finished and looks back up at Alex, she’s struck by the fact that Alex’s eyes are already on her. Like she’d been watching her. “Um...I’ll go. You have your kid and everything-.”

“She’s staying at a friend’s place.” Sam doesn’t know why she jumps in to say that but she does know that everything has a cost. If Alex wasn’t accepting payment from her, then she must want something. Sam takes a chance, a small one, and stands shoulder to shoulder with Alex. She’s been here before, giving recklessly. Never with Ruby around but there were times where desperation took hold. “I could repay you…” Sam has never had to say much to anyone, just show casual interest and they would find a way to take control. 

Alex is different, Sam learns right away, taking a step away and putting her water bottle down. “You’re a good person, Sam. I am too.” Alex lets out a breath. “We can work together, can’t we? Probably better when I’m not this drunk.” 

“I wasn’t…” Sam shakes her head. “In this place, things sometimes get warped.”

“It’s okay,” Alex says sincerely. “And in honor of us understanding each other. Would it be possible for me to sleep here tonight? On the couch, on the floor...whichever.” 

“Of course you can.” By the time Sam has gathered a pillow and blanket from the closet, Alex is already snoring softly on the couch. Sam covers her with a blanket, locks the doors, and goes into her own bedroom. Outside of feeling embarrassed by basically offering sex as payment, Sam is remarkably thrilled with her day. Even in her tiny room that often makes her feel like a child, Sam is floored by the possibilities that the future brings. 

Doomstown might not be doomed quite yet and if the fight that Sam has seen crop up in Alex’s eyes is any indication, they might actually have a chance. Sam doesn’t like to get her hopes up. She kneels at her bedside, crosses herself, and prays for the first time since she was in high school. She wants to be safe and for once, someone understands that. 

When she wakes up, Sam finds Deborah and Ruby in the kitchen. They’re both eating cereal and Deborah is boiling the water for the coffee maker. Neither seems all that phased, especially Ruby who points to the other room with her spoon, “Who’s that in there?”

“That’s Alex, she’s a lawyer.” Deborah arches a brow at Sam. Sam peeks into the room and finds Alex exactly where she left her. 

“What’s she doing here?” Ruby whispers as she looks over the couch at Alex. 

“She’s going to help us get clean water.”

“Really?!” Ruby yells. She bolts to where she can get face to face with Alex whose eyes open slowly. She has to blink a few times to remember where she is but when she does she smiles at Ruby and says ‘hi’. “You’re gonna help us?”

Alex looks to Sam and then sits up a little. “Yeah, I’m gonna help you.” On their way to check to see if Alex’s car got stolen Alex observes the town in the light of day. Bezza is rocking away in her chair. The hazy overcast does nothing to deter Alex’s smile. Even shouting from inside a trailer doesn’t seem to frighten her. “I like it here,” Alex tells Sam.

“Really?”

“I like the people at least.” 

The next time Alex Danvers comes into town, it’s to rent an entire building out for her team. They parade in with their fancy cars and nice suits but they immediately get to work. The drilling ceases for a week and after what seems like a standoff - marked by a lot of yelling in and outside of town hall - Alex takes the Coores & Phillips Company to court. The win comes suddenly, after months and months of proceedings. The big corporation senses the uneasiness and after a few men from the mill, high on meth, blow up a drill, it’s fairly obvious that this is a war they won’t win. Alex knocks at Sam’s door, sweaty from jogging over to this side of town, she is elated and Sam knows that finally, everything is right in their little burden of a town. 

Two weeks later, while Ruby, Deborah, and Bezza are playing cards, Sam announces that she’s going to take a shower. Alex looks up from where she’s seated, after losing in the very first round, and follows Sam into the hallway. “Don’t make me get a restraining order,” Sam jokes. 

“This is actually...about that night.” 

“I’ve known you for about a year. There’s been plenty of nights.” The hallway is barely a hallway. Just a sliver of space that leaves only a few inches between their bodies. 

“The first one.” Alex rolls her eyes, knowing that Sam will wait until she says exactly what she means. “We could’ve, you know. Ended up in bed together.”

“You wouldn’t have been very good. From what I remember you were all valiance and moonshine.” 

“That stuff was so strong, I might still be all moonshine.” Alex puts her hand on Sam’s waist, it’s the most direct she’s ever been with something outside of the courtroom. “I’d like to try again. Properly, I mean.”

“That’s sweet.”

“You aren’t interested?” Alex questions sadly. 

“I am interested. But more so in you joining me for a shower.” Sam holds Alex’s face in her hands and smiles. “Show me you belong in this crazy little town. Show me what you’re made of.” 

“We can hear everything you’re saying!” Deborah yells from the kitchen. Alex and Sam crack up laughing, hustling into the bathroom, and taking off their clothes.