#I didn’t expect to tear up during the final episode I mean - oh my gosh!

[sketchy-etchy]

Dream Productions is P E A K!!

[pradaksj]

Safety Net || part two (final). (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, pining, smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.

❧ word count ⟶ 16,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, character death (non-major), smut which includes ... passionate to rough sex, oral (female receiving), penetration, fingering, unprotected sex (please have sex responsibly lol). 

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n ⟶ I am still fairly new to writing smut so sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations 😭 also to all my people who don’t like smut “*” signals where you can stop reading as the smut is really just a bonus scene at the end. and remember dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple = present

01 | 02 (final) 

“God were we dramatic,” you laugh, glad that the recollection of your big fight with Jungkook was something that could by now be laughed at rather than seen as something you’d dearly regret, “Don’t you think?” you ask Jungkook, concern immediately washing over you once you see the sad look on his face, “Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares blankly at the lake in front of him, surprised at the resurgence of the same heavy feeling in chest he had felt several months before, “Did I—Did I say something wrong?” you worry that you’ve hurt his feelings, that being one of, if not the, last thing you wanted to do tonight.

Quietly he nods his head no, “I just—” he struggles to voice his thoughts, “I was—” he shakes his head and you grab his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.

“Hey,” you giggle, “what happened is in the past,” you reassure.

“I know but—” he sighs, pushing his hair back with his other hand, “I just still feel bad, you know? I mean we went a whole month without talking…. practically hating one another…”

August 2019. 

It had been about a month since your explosive argument with Jungkook, and despite living together... the two of you had never been so far apart. Not only were you not on speaking terms, but it was as if neither of you existed in each other's proper world, completely avoiding each other at all costs.

One would think that because you two lived with one another, you’d be bound to have some kind of awkward bump ins from time to time, but somehow the two of you managed to steer clear of each other. From eating breakfast and dinner at separate times, to talking to Hobi at your own respective times, and of course the first thing Jungkook did the next day after your fight was move his things out of your restroom and into Hobi’s. You weren’t going to lie, it did sting just a little , but you were quick to get over it. The part that made Hobi roll his eyes even further back than they already did, was how quickly you two scrambled around each other whenever you did happen to coincidentally be in the same place such as the kitchen.

Originally Hobi tried any and every method possible to get you two to make up, knocking on doors and trying to trick you two into talking, faking handwriting, stealing personal belongings, and of course begging. Hell, he even tried confronting you two in one of the rare times you guys were in the kitchen at the same time, but all you two did was remain silent and go back into your respective rooms. Not bothering to even spare a glance at one another.

He had given up about two weeks in of trying, deciding that it was up to you two to figure out how you guys would make up. But it wasn’t until this Friday morning when he saw a certain letter stick out of the mail that he found himself loudly sighing.

“Oh Jungkook…” he whispers to himself, shaking his head as he read the letter in front of him. What was he going to do now?

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to get used to being the lone wolf in the apartment again, in fact it was easy for him to completely ignore your existence. It was easy to watch you struggle opening a jar full of kimchi. It was easy to catch a glimpse of you and Hobi watching One Piece on the couch whenever he was making his way out of the apartment to go and party. It was easy to hear you sing along to some new girl group song and not join along whenever he passed by your room. And it was very easy to hate you. Very easy indeed.

Gosh, who was he kidding? It was the hardest freaking thing in the world to do. Especially because he didn’t hate you at all. Pretending to? Yes. Actually? Fuck no.

If he was being honest, any hatred he had felt in the moment of the big argument had been rapidly washed away the moment he slammed his door shut. Instead it had been quickly replaced by the feeling of hurt and sadness. He even found himself sneaking into the kitchen that night to grab an extra pint of ice cream from the freezer and watch some stupid K-drama from his laptop back in his room. Even shedding a small tear when the male and female lead had to break up due to unforeseen circumstances. But of course if you asked him if it was true, he’d deny it in a heartbeat.

He’d often find himself zoning out and replaying the fight in his head. God, was he an idiot. What was he thinking destroying your painting like that? Did he really think you weren’t going to react the way you did? Sadly, the answer was a mixture of both yes and no. Yes, he wanted you to feel as hurt as he did, but he didn’t expect you to go fully ballistic on him. Did he blame you for it? No, of course not. You had every right to be mad at him as he had acted out in completely blind rage. Not bothering to stop for one moment and ask himself, am I okay with the possible outcome of what I’m about to do? Had he known it was going to be this, and well … he would’ve never done it.

It just happened so quick. One moment he was staring at the floor covered with broken pieces of glass and the next he had his fist going through the canvas of your painting, destroying the very thing he convinced you to work on. No wonder you hated him…

You hated him and you had every right to. He just wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take it anymore. Having to only catch glimpses of you from time to time and not being able to say anything because he was too ashamed to even look at you was truly killing him. And he could only imagine how you felt having to see him every day and night. Knowing the person you hated most was living under the same roof as you. Hell, if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t want you around at all.

Which is why as Jungkook currently stares aimlessly at the ceiling of his room, he knows he’s made the right decision.

The night of the fight between you and Jungkook, you had felt a range of emotions that honestly were quite overwhelming. Whenever you’d stare off into space you’d find yourself feeling very sad and reflective, but whenever you even caught a glimpse of your then destroyed painting on the floor you’d feel the rush of anger return all at once. It was like that the whole night, not even an episode of One Piece could cheer you up. If anything it made you feel even more confused because you were on the episode where (spoiler alert) *** dies, and well not only were you mad at how it happened, but sad because it was happening. Hell, that was probably the best way to describe how you felt about the whole argument.

The first couple of days had been hard to say the least, the dynamic between all three of you drastically changing in the matter of a couple days. No longer were there grocery shopping trips together, nor were there laundry days where you and Jungkook would compete to see who could fold the fastest, and of course there were no longer Netflix movie nights where Hobi would complain because you and Jungkook kept cracking too many jokes during the most intense scenes. Your laughs always echoing across the living room walls thus ruining the buildup of the scene.

You were good at pretending you didn’t care, in fact you were great at it. Maybe because a part of you actually didn’t care. You had long been fed up with Jungkook’s moody antics, and him destroying that painting was the final straw. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gone into his room after he specifically told you not to, but you only did because you were worried about him and actually cared about him. Couldn’t he have seen that before he went full on rampage mode and destroyed your painting? He was wrong for what he did, and at the end of the day he had no right to hate you. Right?

These days you found yourself doubting it. It wasn’t like you were in the entire right, you mean you had invaded his privacy … you shake your head, begrudgingly getting out of bed before dwelling on your thoughts for any longer. The re-do of your painting, which currently sat on its easel, serving as reminder that you weren’t planning on talking to him anytime soon.

“Good Morning to you,” Hobi greets, watching you stomp your way into the kitchen, clearly running on an empty stomach. Jungkook was currently out, either working out or …. Hobi sighs recalling what he saw in the letter this morning.

“Good morning,” you mumble, the grouchy mood that Hobi found himself a little too used to making its morning return. In all the years he’s known you, to see you always this …. down …. was very unlike of you to say the least.

Whether you liked it or not, your fight with Jungkook had definitely changed some aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Because no matter how good you were good at faking it, and trust him you were good (a professional indeed), behind that tough wall you had put up in the last month was a person who was hurt. A person who had their heart crushed right in front of them.

Grabbing two slices of bread, you place them in the toaster, preparing to make yourself some avocado toast. You sigh when you hear Hobi’s footsteps getting closer, not wanting to hear the whole “You need to talk to Jungkook” speech this early on a Saturday morning.

Turning around to face him, you’re prepared to protest against his usual lecture, “Hobi I don’t—” the sound of an envelope hitting the counter catching you off guard, stopping you from continuing any further. Furrowing your brows, your eyes glint with confusion. Hobi stares at you with a stoic expression, waiting for you to grab the letter from the island’s counter.

Slowly you grab the white envelope, extremely confused as to what this had to do with. The name on the recipient line reads, “Jeon Jungkook” and for a small second you feel your heart stop, but you’re quick to shake it off.

“This isn’t mine, if you can’t tell,” you scoff, preparing to hand the envelope back to Hobi.

Pushing your hand away, he says, “Read it,” his tone telling you that it wasn’t exactly an option.

Rolling your eyes, you pull out the single piece of paper that’s inside, unfolding the tri-folded letter. Your eyes quickly gaze over the subject line which reads, “Application Approval,” catching your attention. From there you continue to read…

Dear Jeon Jungkook,

We are pleased to notify you that we have received and accepted your application for the lease property of **** Jangsin-Ro, Apartment 32. Your lease will begin on September 28, 2019 and your rent amount is ₩****  for every 1st of the month. Any cancellations will result in a ₩*** fee. I want to thank you for your application and anticipate that you will have an enjoyable living experience in your new home.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Bang Si-Hyuk.

Wait what? Your eyes reread the letter that’s in front of you because clearly you were reading something wrong. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you because there was just no way…. Looking up at Hobi, you hope this was another of his attempts to get you to talk to Jungkook, but there he stood, straight faced as ever.

“He’s—” your voice whimpers like a little kid, “He’s moving out?”  

“Ow!” Jungkook squirms, the feeling of your fingers pinching his arm hurting him, “What was that for?!” he yelps.

“For trying to move out without telling us! And don’t you dare ever pull something like that again,” you scold him, tempted to pinch him again.

Garnering a laugh out of him, you cross your arms like a kid and huff a loud breath of air, “Ah I won’t, I won’t,” he giggles, “Maybe…” he mumbles, but he’s quick to raise his arms in defense once he sees you ready to pinch him once again, “I’m just kidding,” he sings and you roll your eyes.

“Serves you right,” you mutter, letting out the hurt you felt that day to him because honestly, you had never gotten the opportunity to do so…

September 2019.

“Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out,” you think to yourself, having to come to terms with the fact that in exactly 48 hours from now Jungkook was officially going to be out of your life … for good.  

You were shocked to say the least, when you saw the application letter, not exactly sure about what you felt. You mean, yeah you were definitely mad at Jungkook, but enough to the point where you wanted him officially out of your life? Hell no.

So then where the hell did he even get the idea to move out? It wasn’t like you two were being mean to each other, nor was there blatant hatred being shown on your part. All you two were doing were ignoring each other like two little kids. That should not be cause for someone to move out. Not at all!

A knock on the door catches your attention, “You ready?” Hobi asks, dressed in business like attire. His all black suit made him seem almost intimidating, that was until your eyes landed on his newly dyed cherry-red hair only causing you to stifle a small laugh.

Nodding your head, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time. Tonight was the night of the art exhibition, and you were very very nervous. You had turned in your piece a couple of days prior, but to have to later unveil it in front of everyone along with giving a small speech was nerve wracking. Especially considering you hadn’t involved yourself in the world of the arts for several years now, if anything you were used to constantly talking about accounting numbers and different business statistics.

“It’s either now or never,” you whisper to yourself, not knowing what awaited you.

“I just don’t get it Hobi,” you rant in the car, on your way to the galleria’s location, “he didn’t see me trying to move out when he was being nothing but a complete dick to me those first couple of months!” you pout, still not having accepted that Jungkook was moving out, despite constantly reminding yourself that he was.

Hobi sighs, feeling as if he’s heard you rant about this since you’ve found out … oh wait … you have! “Y/N—” he begins.

“No listen to me Hobi!” you interrupt, “Can he really not stand the sight of me that he feels the need to move out?? Was me going into his room really that big of an issue,” your voice wavers a bit, but you continue nonetheless, “And the fact that he hasn’t even bothered to tell you! So what? He was just planning on disappearing this coming Monday! Thinking no questions were going to be raised? I mean imagine you hadn’t seen that letter, he would’ve left thinking I hate him!” And to that Hobi lets out a scoff.

“What do you mean?” he scrunches his face, “He still is!” Hobi raises his finger before you could talk, “My turn,” he firmly states, only causing you to drop your defensive shoulders and roll your eyes.

“You two have not talked at all since your stupid little argument where clearly both of you were in the wrong!” he rants, repeating what he’s been saying for the last two months, the topic becoming tiresome, “And now one of you is leaving because neither of you can get over yourselves and just initiate some kind of freaking conversation! Just one conversation and I am one hundred percent sure everything will get cleared up and we can all go back to our daily lives, but nooooo both of you think we’re in some freaking K-drama, actually no, even K-dramas make up faster than the two of you!” he ends his rant on an insult, and you’re left there momentarily speechless.

“You are so—”

“I’m what?” Hobi glares at you, and you only narrow your eyes at him in return.

“You are so wrong,” you state, refusing to now look at him, instead looking out the window.

“I’m right and you know it,” you mumble something under your breath in response, “You invaded his privacy after he repeatedly told you not to, but for some reason you just felt the impulsive need to go into his room and find out what he was hiding. You know, I’m sorry Y/N but if Jungkook’s the biggest dickhead in existence then you my friend are the pushiest one,” he complains, finding his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. God, did the two of you get his blood pressure boiling up.

“You don’t get it, I had to go into his room,” you mutter, not exactly happy with the fact that Hobi is reading you for filth.

“No you didn't,” the two of you begin to go back and forth, voice raising with every sentence.

“Yes, I did.”

“No you did not.”

“Um yes—”

“Um n—”

“Yes, how else was I going to be able to find out what was hurting him?” you interrupt, turning to face Hobi, feeling the migraine in your head about to pop.

“And why would you need to know that?”

“Because I lo—” you quickly catch yourself before you could complete the sentence, crossing your arms and pouting. Like hell you’d confess in front of Hobi.

Hobi looks at you knowingly, “Because you what,” he taunts, knowing exactly what you were going to say,

“Just drive,” you mumble, your attention back to the window beside you, focusing on the view of the city streets.

“Ah Y/N, there you are!” Jimin greets you and Hobi, having barely walked in from your argumentative car ride, “You’re on in like ten minutes,” he nervously chuckles, worrying only minutes ago that you were going to be a no-show.

“That quick?” you ask in complete shock, barely having taken off your dress-coat. The churns in your stomach begin to make you feel physically sick and there’s now a certain dryness to your throat that you could only accredit to the tension you were now feeling. Your palms were even beginning to get a little sweaty. Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah … Jungkook.

“Come on let’s go and get you set up,” Jimin tugs at your hand, pulling you to follow him. With your other hand, you attempt to look for your flash cards, wanting to remind yourself of the specific points you needed to cover.

“What the—” your heart drops, unable to feel the flimsy piece of paper anywhere near the coat that hung against your arm, “Oh no,” you murmur to yourself, not wanting to panic Jimin, “No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself.

“Okay here we are,” he stops you two in front of your draped-covered painting, pulling out a lapel mic from his pocket, clipping it onto the collar of your outfit. Now that you weren’t moving, you were now barely taking note of just how many people filled the galleria, and it was a lot. There had to be at least 200 people, minimum. Each and every one of them slowly looking around at the already unveiled art pieces, their eyes doing the judging for them.

“Jimin I don’t know—”

“Hey, you’re gonna do just fine, it’s just a bit of stage fright I’m sure,” he reassures, and though you appreciate the gesture, coming from him it just didn’t mean much. You see, Jimin has always been what's called an optimistic person, similar to you in a way. Always trying to find the good in the bad. But in order for his words to really have some effect, it would’ve been better if he was a pessimist, someone who always saw the negative in everything because then to hear that you would do just fine would come more as a shock rather than as something expected, someone like—

You shake your head,“I’m just,” your outfit suddenly begins to feel as if it's squeezing the life out of you, “I’m really nervous,” you whisper to him out of breath, watching as people begin to crowd around your area. Were the walls closing in or was it just you?

He begins to test the mic, “Jimin—” you repeat his name, a cry for help, “I can’t—” but it’s too late.

“Hello everyone,” he speaks into his own microphone, and you scan the audience to see if you can spot Hobi. When you do, you notice the look of panic he has on his own face, probably aware of your distressed state, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, “This artist I’m introducing to you, has been a personal friend of mine for years. I’ve known her since my first year in college, and I can vouch for just how talented she is,” Jimin glances at you, unaware of just how truly panicked you were, “So without further ado, y/n take it away,” he steps away, leaving you under the sole spotlight.

Remaining silent for a moment, you stare at the several pairs of eyes that had their gaze solely focused on you. “H-Hello,” you stutter into the mic, glad that it wasn’t a handheld one as you were sure that you would’ve been a jittering mess, “Um my name is y/n l/n,” you nervously smile, trying to find something to focus your attention on. Originally you planned on staring at Hobi the whole time, only to find out it made you even more of a stuttering mess. God, was it getting hot in here.

“So um I think we should um reveal the painting first,” you sputter out, signalling to Jimin that it was time. Slowly he removes the drape, the sound of clapping providing you a bit of a soothing effect. People liked it. People freaking liked it. It felt as if a brick or two had been dropped from your shoulders.

You gulp continuing with your speech, “So I um—” breathe y/n, “I call this piece safety net,” you turn sideways towards the painting, ready to explain, “I call it that because as y-you can see in the painting,” you mindlessly point to it as if the audience couldn’t see it themselves, “There’s the um the figure falling into what I call a safety net of flowers and—” you stare at the painting along with them, finding yourself getting lost in your own work, “well I painted this after—” you pause, the room completely silent, “after finding myself wanting to be someone’s safety net,” you mumble to yourself, a certain person coming to mind.

There’s an awkwardness to the room, the kind of stiffness you only find in tense moments. You weren’t sure if it was because the audience was trying to be respectful or you were just making a complete mess out of yourself, but either way Jimin awkwardly coughs, “So um we will now take questions from the audience,” Jimin hesitantly says, by now noticing the extremely panicked state you were in, but unsure of what to do.

A woman raises her hand, a volunteer for the galleria handing her a mic, “Hello,” she politely greets, giving you a warm smile, “So I was curious as to why you chose two colors that don’t conventionally go well together, I was wondering if you did that on purpose or…” and though you know her question means no harm, the voice in your head was convincing you that this was some kind of an attack.

“I um—” your breathing becomes heavier, “I—” Just speak, you keep telling yourself. Tell her that you chose two colors because they represented two different personalities. Say something you freaking idiot. “I um c-chose—” you begin to hear the sound of people murmuring all around you, their voices echoing loudly through your head. What were they saying? Did they hate your painting? Did they think it made absolutely no sense? Was it really that bad? What were you thinking when agreeing to do all this? How could you have been convinced to do this? You didn’t paint anymore for this exact reason.

With every thought that races through your mind, the sudden sense of impending doom only becomes stronger and your rapid breathing becomes louder. You had to be sweating because God did it feel like a fucking sauna in here. The tightness in your throat wasn’t helping at all as well only making the feeling of nausea further overwhelming. You needed to get out of here. Now.  

And so without thinking… you run.

You yank out the mic and begin to run to God knows where, ignoring the shouts of your name along with the small number of gasps that could be heard.You needed to breathe again, and you desperately needed this feeling of danger to be gone.

Trying not to bump into too many people walking the dark city streets of Seoul, focusing on the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement, tuning out everything around you. “Just run,” you tell yourself, “Run until no one can find you.”

Soon the sound of your heels clacking against the pavement becoming the sound of your heels crunching against leaves. The pitch blackness of your surroundings causes tears to begin to well up, the trembling of your fingers along with the chills running down your spine making you feel as if you were running in an endless loop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You come to sudden halt, pushing your arm against a nearby tree, desperately trying to catch your breath. You were alone now, isn’t this what you wanted? So then why did you still feel as if the world was crashing down on you. Why couldn’t you breathe? Why were hot tears spilling from your eyes? What the hell was wrong with you?

By now your sobs are in full force, your heaving chest only adding to its force. Because of your crying, you fail to hear a voice, “There you are!” Jungkook catches his breath, surprised at how fast you could run in heels. For a small second he thought he had lost you in the chase, with the way you maneuvered around everyone, he was thankful he hadn’t.

“Y/N,” he calls out, expecting you to turn, but he’s met with silence. You were having a panic attack, a bad one at that. Making his way closer to you, he’s careful in how he approaches you, grabbing your hand before you could run any further, “Y/N,” he repeats, this time turning you to face him, but you continue to cry in hysteria, your vision blurred by just how fast tears were falling from your eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me y/n,” he cups your face with his hands, a worrisome but firm look on his face, “I need you to breathe with me, okay?” your chest continues to heave, the rapid breaths of air coming from your mouth at an alarming rate, “Y/N!” he shouts, causing you to go silent, “Y/N…” he softly repeats, knowing he’s gotten your attention. You stare at him in silence, “One,” he inhales a big breath of air, “Two,” he exhales out, “Inhale,” he repeats his actions again, “Exhale,” he breathes out.

Slowly you begin to follow. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In no time, your heartbeat begins to slow down, your mind focused enough on the task at hand that you begin to forget why you were ever panicked to begin with. “Hey,” Jungkook whispers, caressing your cheek with his hand, “You’re doing great,” he reassures you, providing you the words of comfort you so desperately needed to hear right now.

It had been so long since you’d gone through having a panic attack, almost forgetting just how bad they could sometimes get. But for now staring into Jungkook’s eyes and practicing some breathing exercises was enough to remember that no matter how bad they got, you’d get through them.

His fingers gently graze your cheeks, continuing to mumble small phrases of reassurance while you were getting control of yourself.  “Has anyone ever told you,” you place a finger to the corner of his eye, quietly breathing your words out, “you have very round eyes,” you say and Jungkook lets a huffed laugh out in response.

He scrunches his nose and smiles, “Yeah, a lot of people have actually,” he laughs, a toothy grin spreading across his face while he uncups your cheeks, feeling a sense of tranquility wash over him as he knew you were going to be just fine, “I’ve been told they look like a doe’s eyes,” you quietly nod your head yes, agreeing with his statement, a warm smile on your face.

“Come on,” he intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you to follow him and leading you to a park bench that was near. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any park bench, it was the park bench from the night Jungkook was drunk and the two of you had gotten into the fight with that drunk man. What were the odds? You hadn’t even noticed that you ran this far till now...  

He exhales a large breath of air once you two sit, allowing a neither comfortable nor awkward silence fill the air. Despite the heartwarming moment that happened only minutes ago, there were still things that needed to be talked about. Things that simply couldn’t be forgotten. It was the sole reason he had gone to the art exhibition because he wanted, no, he needed to talk to you.

He just hadn’t expected to see you running out in complete panic right as he walked in. The tears that were slowly rolling down from your eyes, causing him to feel a sudden sense of heartbreak. For the only reason you’d ever cry would be if your hard work were to be destroyed, whether physically or emotionally. It was the same despaired look you had given him that fateful day he decided to throw everything good that was becoming of his life out the window.

And so to see the scene in front of him play out had definitely caused both a mix of anger and sadness to boil within him. His urge to defend and protect you, almost overcoming his need to go out and make sure you were okay. That was until he found himself running out the door, signalling to Hobi that he’d handle it.

And so now here the two of you were, quietly sitting on a park bench with your hands being the only things physically touching, a comfort of its own for the both of you. It didn’t feel weird nor did it feel wrong because if anything it just felt right.

A part of you thinks and hopes it could remain like this forever, scared that if it didn't, you’d have to return back to the world where you and Jungkook were nothing more than strangers who were once friends. The world where acting as if one or the other didn’t exist was completely normal. The one where you’d find your heart selfishly longing for him despite stubbornly not wanting to. And so whether it be for a small second, a minute, or an hour, for now at least you just wanted to savor the moment because who knew what would possibly happen if he decided to leave and never come back.

“Y/N…” he begins.

“Shh,” you whisper, your puffy eyes softly gazing at the view of the trees in front of you, the silhouettes of trees as well sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches, a view you were once so scared of, not so scary anymore, “Just one more second,” you close your eyes, taking in one final breath of air. Jungkook feels his heart swell at the sight, remembering the scene from only months ago where it had been you doing all the staring. You pull his hand when you’re ready, your soft gaze now directed towards him.

“I just—” he begins to stutter, “I wanted to—” he feels his eyes get watery, the rush of emotion he was beginning to feel almost overwhelming him, “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” his voice slightly cracks, “for everything,” he whispers, allowing a tear to fall from his eye, feeling the weight he had been holding onto his shoulders now falling. The small leaks of vulnerability that you had occasionally seen now completely flooding through his walls of defense, that single tear becoming several, until soon you hear a sob emit from his mouth, but by then you have him wrapped in a hug, the sound of his sobs being muffled by your shoulder. Slowly you caress his hair, gently stroking and twirling the locks of his wavy hair in between your fingers, deciding that this time around silence was the best way to go.

“I’m so sorry,” he hysterically cries, holding onto you tighter, as if you’d go anywhere. He begins to shake his head, struggling to find the words that’d best describe how he felt at this current moment, “I’m—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” it’s your turn to say the words, gently pushing him off you so he could meet your gaze, “I know,” you reassure, “and I forgive you. The same way I’m sure you’ve forgiven me for snooping around your room like that,” you jokingly assume, and he smiles despite having red bloodshot eyes, “We were angry, and we said and did things that we shouldn't had but that doesn’t mean we have to hold them over our own heads for the rest of our lives,” you grip his hand tighter, “you made a mistake, and I made one as well. And rather than explode on one another and ignore each other, we should’ve talked about where we went wrong, and yeah,” you repeat your words from months ago, “maybe we didn’t get to do this as early as we hoped, in fact we’re quite late,” you giggle, “but we’re here nonetheless. And so let’s talk,” you say, ready to listen to the boy you had fallen in love with.  

Jungkook stares at you in silence, a million thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how you always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment, “I,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need to start from the beginning,” he says, wiping any residue from the tears in his eyes, ready to open up the book he had kept closed for so long.

You nod to him, signalling that you were listening, “When I was a kid, I um,” he gulps, “I guess you could say I had a knack for boxing. Originally, my dad had taught me as a way to protect myself if I ever came across a situation that’d require me to defend myself,” his fingers begin to fidget within yours, a sign that he was nervous. Quick to soothe him, you rub small circles on the palms of his hands, his gaze occasionally avoiding eye contact.

“But I also think it was because my dad, who once wanted to be a boxer himself, saw me a way to vicariously live out his dream. Because soon he noticed that the knack I had for it was more of a talent,” a small smile appears on his lips, “and well by then he had begun to seriously train me… I remember always coming back after school and dulging right into practice, waking up on weekends and running laps at the park with my dad in order to gain stamina, and just,” he exhales a breath, “and just thinking to myself how proud I wanted to make him,” uncontrollably a tear falls from his face once again, and he tries to gain his composure before continuing, not wanting to begin the sob fest too early, “Once he thought I was ready, my dad had begun to sign me up for amatuer competitions, and well I did amazing,” Jungkook laughs.

“And soon boxing would become the sport I’d find myself building my life upon, but one day—“ he sighs, knowing the conclusion to his own story and well this was only the beginning, “one day during high school we had this um career day I guess you could call it, and well long story short after going around and listening to how passionate some of spokespersons were of their careers, I remember thinking, is boxing something I was doing for myself or for my father?”

A sad smile appears on his face, “I think the most confusing part for me was that I wasn't exactly passionate about anything else but I also just knew deep down in my heart that boxing wasn’t for me, you know? To this day I don’t know what exactly it is I'm passionate for,” he laughs, “and I certainly don’t see myself making coffee and flipping pancakes for the rest of my life,” he jokes around, an attempt the make the atmosphere a little lighter, “but I think with the help of someone I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to be a bit of a late bloomer,” he winks at you, “one day I’ll wake up and just know…”

You give him a small reassuring smile, happy to know that he’s learned his own lessons along the way, even if it required a bit of pushing.

”But back to my story,” he awkwardly laughs, the small feign of happiness gone, “Though I had realized it already… maybe it was because I was scared, or maybe it was just—” he shakes his head, unable to find the words, “I just,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t tell my dad because for me telling my dad would feel as if I was telling him that all the years of hard work were going down the drain. That the endless nights of working out and exhausting ourselves to sleep were all for nothing. And so when my dad told me that managed to get me a spot at some training camp in the states, I took it. I mean it wasn’t like I had anything going for me here in Korea, and well I needed to guarantee my own future,” he shifts uncomfortably, remembering everything a little too vividly.

“I did pretty well for a couple years, slowly began climbing the ranks, and the natural talent I had for the sport was beginning to really shape itself, even catching the attention of prominent sport reporters. Long story short, I’d find myself surrounded with nothing but yes men and leeches who wanted nothing more than a piece of my so called success,” he gazes off to the distance, ashamed of the ego that had been built as a result of such people, “and well when you get told that you’re the best, that no one can stop you, that you’re untouchable, you truly begin to believe it,” he lets out a chuckle, “so when Brandon Star, a man who was nearly out of my weight class, began to provoke me for a fight on television after winning some match and I kept hearing from my so called friends that it’d be an easy match or that it was a guaranteed win, how could I say no? Of course at the time I didn’t know that they would be betting against me… so I said yes.”

A momentary silence fills the air as Jungkook had never told this whole story to anyone, the revealing of everything somewhat freeing for him, “A part of me knew I was way in over my head, it was like a gut feeling, you know? But I needed someone, anyone, to tell me the truth and to confirm what I was thinking. I needed someone who was going to criticize me instead of nodding their head yes and pretending that everything was going to be just fine. I think that’s why when I first met you, you reminded me so much of the people who were around me in the states, faking a smile in order to spare my feelings.” Sadness clouds his features, ashamed of how he took everything out on you when all you were doing was simply being the person you always were... kind. For that, he was truly sorry.

“Anyways,” he continues, “that night of the fight, the feeling I had in my stomach was overwhelming. I told my dad, who was helping prep me backstage like he always did, that I felt nervous. That I was scared,” his voice cracks and he closes his eyes, remembering the scene as if it was yesterday, “and my dad well...he’s always struggled with separating being a father and being a trainer,” Jungkook tries to contain the sob that’s begging to come out, “but at that moment I just needed my dad. I needed him to tell me that win or lose everything was going to be fine. That he’d be proud of me no matter what,” he finally cries, and as you’re about to pull him into another hug, he vigorously shakes his head, stopping you from doing so.

“No, I need to finish thi—”

“Jungkook,” you softly interrupt because it wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear anymore, you just weren’t sure if you could hear anymore without at some point sobbing yourself,  “you don’t need to, especially if you’re not ready,” you stare at him with a sad look on your face.

“No, you deserve to know,” he firmly states, “you deserve to know,” he quietly repeats to himself. You nod your head in understanding, waiting for him to continue as he wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, composing himself.

“He told me that I’d do just fine, that the son he’s trained so long for wouldn’t fail him now,” he mumbles, the words of his father still echoing in his mind, “When you go and box, you’re supposed to enter that ring with no concerns of the real world, you’re supposed to put any negative or anxious thoughts you had outside the ring to rest. Because the moment you let just one of those thoughts seep through, you might as well hang up your gloves right then and there,” his expression hardens, “I went into that ring knowing I was going to lose…”

“From there I don’t remember too much,” he bitterly lets out a laugh, “I just remember being on a gurney and feeling the heaviness of Star’s punches beginning to weigh down on my chest, clearly having done some damage to my ribs,” he sighs, “but the moment I remember so clearly is my parents trying to make their way to me, doing their best to push their way in an effort to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was just so mad at myself,” his voice shakes, “or because I confused the look of sadness on my dad’s face with disappointment, but at the time—“ his voice falters again, “At the time I thought how ashamed he must’ve been of me,” he fights through his tears, trudging through the story, “And so as I was being lifted into the truck, I kept yelling how this was his fault, that it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jungkook lifts his head up, combing a hand through his hair.

“When I got to the hospital, I refused to let my parents see me, I was just too—“ God, did he sometimes wish he could go back in time and change everything, “I was too stubborn, too ashamed with myself to even look at them. So I ran,” he says, catching you by surprise, “I needed time alone so I ran,” he repeats, “I ran before they could find me, I just got up and ran,” there’s a haunting emptiness that lingers in his voice, one that brings chills down your spine.

“I called Hobi, and I told him that I needed to redeem a favor,” your mind flashes back to the night Hobi told you what he knew, “And I thought this is what I needed. That I’d be okay with starting anew, and that if I could firmly plant my feet in Seoul then I could visit my parents in Busan, and tell them how sorry I was without them having to worry too much about what the future would hold for me… and explain to them what happened, what I felt, and why I ran. That was my plan,” his voice cracks, “I was reaching a point in my life where I felt so content, so happy. I’d wake up to see you and Hobi making breakfast while imitating some random girl group dance and think to myself how things had managed to turn out so well for me despite my failure in the states. Or when we binged on One Piece episodes that whole night while stuffing our faces in tubed ice cream and I just felt like a little kid again without a worry in the world. But then …”  

Jungkook feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow, “He passed away,” and just like that Jungkook feels as if the air has come out of his lungs, the same way it did the night he found out.

You feel your heart break at his words, recognition dawning over your face as everything was beginning to make sense. “My mom had managed to find my number in order to tell me there’d been an accident, and I just couldn’t believe it at first,” he attempts to hide his grief by stifling a sob, “I didn’t want to get up from bed at first because getting up would mean facing reality, it’d mean accepting that it wasn’t some kind of twisted fucked up nightmare but that it was real. That the last sight my dad saw of me was on some gurney,” his face twists, “that the last words I ever said to him were so—“ he breaks down, sobbing once again and this time you feel your own hot salty tears fall from your eyes, wrapping in such a tight hug that you weren’t sure if it was for his or your own sake.

He cries a sound so raw that it was almost as if the wound was still freshly cut, his hand clasping tightly onto your clothing for support. Any last defensive wall he had up was washed away by his salty tears, finally facing the final waves of grief, loss, and devastation in the arms of the person he had taken everything out on. The person he didn’t deserve at all, but had stayed nonetheless. You whisper sweet comforting words to his ear, wanting more than his grief to subside so that you could see the smile you loved so much appear on his face again.

“I just wish there was something I could’ve done differently,” he shakes his head, “so that he could know just how much his son loved and appreciated him,” he lifts his head up from your shoulder, wiping his tears away, and practicing his breathing as his chest had been heaving so bad because of his sobs, “And so that was why I completely changed that June and became cold. That was why I got so mad when I saw you in my room with the broken trophy I had gotten when I was a kid because I was just so reminded of everything,” he frowns, “and it had hit me like a freaking truck. To see my current world and the past one collide was just—“ he pauses, “overwhelming to say the least,” he concludes everything and you’re left there completely speechless.

You could’ve never in your wildest dreams even guessed that this was why Jungkook had come back to Seoul and why he had acted so cold for so long. His grievances had happened in such a short period of time, that all it took was one wrong move to set him completely off. No wonder he had kept himself so isolated … he knew he was ticking time bomb waiting to finally explode at any given moment.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, his words processing in both of your minds. You want to say the words that are currently repeating themselves in your mind, I love you. Three simple words that could make him forget his past, even if it was for a small moment in time. “Jungkook—” he looks up at you, “I—” you stutter, the words clinging onto the tip of your tongue, “I um,” you feel your chest become heavy as he stares at you in curiosity, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you force out instead. He furrows his eyebrows, ready to protest against your apology, but you’re quick to interrupt before he gets the chance to.

“Since you’re being so honest with me, I feel like it’s only right I’m honest with you,” you bite your lip, disappointed with your cowardice, “So that like that we get a better understanding of one another,” you feign a smile.

“There’s a reason why I got so um…” you pause, “anxious before and during the galleria,” you narrow your eyes, it was now your turn to open a book that’d long been left incomplete. “I told you right? That I was an art student at Busan’s Art college but that I ended up transferring after an incident occurred…” He quietly nods, allowing you to continue, “and well I think I’m ready to talk about it,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

He stares at you in silence, ready to listen as well. “Growing up, I really liked painting,” you laugh, recalling the memory of you painting on the walls as a kid, “for some reason it was something I found myself falling further in love with every calendar year, but my parents, well they were on the more skeptical side of making a career out of it. I mean I don’t really blame them,” you sound unsure, “I mean I know that it’s hard these days to find success in the world of arts, or at least the level of success most people want to obtain but originally for me it didn’t matter,” you chuckle, remembering how naive you had been.

“Before entering college, I’d sell my little paintings and merchandise on those small-business centric websites like Etsy and stuff,” you say for example, “and you’re right, when you get told that you’re good at something, you really begin to believe it…”

Jungkook wants to interrupt and tell you that whatever your situation was, was much more different than his. That you were actually good at what you did, no, you were amazing at it. He wasn’t sure if he could listen to you talk down on yourself, but nonetheless he continues to listen.

“My first year of college I met people like Jimin who were so passionate about what they do that it really cemented the idea I had in wanting to turn my water painting into a career,” you sigh, “but in the back of my mind I always did have tiny doubts that lingered, and I always made sure not to feed them too much, but when you’re surrounded by people who are just as talented or even better than you, it gets hard not to.”

Jungkook completely understands where you’re coming from, having been in a similar position himself before. “And it didn’t help that my parents were constantly breathing down my neck about finding a different career to focus on,” you shrug “anyways,” you continue, shaking your head, “In Busan’s Art College, like many other colleges there are departments, like STEM and Business for example, but in this case things are separated by like dance, art, film, et cetera. And well if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a … pushy … person,” you laugh and Jungkook softly smiles, neither agreeing or disagreeing, “I think it’s due to me always feeling a need to overcompensate my insecurities, I guess. Like when you first moved in, in order to reassure myself that you didn’t hate me, the pushy side of me came out,” you explain, and the same way you began to understand Jungkook as he was explaining his story, Jungkook was beginning to understand you as a person.

“Well back to the focal point, I was a part of a committee club for painters within the art department, thinking that if I took charge of something, it’d increase my chances in succeeding in my career once I graduated. But the thing is, is when you join those committees I guess you could say there’s like a hierarchy of some sort, a cliché come to life,” you try your best to keep the conversation as lighthearted as you can, wanting the energy in the air to become one that was positive, a reflection of just how much you two had grown, “and well during my second year we were all assigned a project for some city poster in which we’d present to the committee’s leader, Nari, and where she and a couple of others would then choose which one was going to be used. And let me tell you, this was a career making project. The people who were going to be at the unveiling were names like Ji Hye Yeom, Haegue Yang, and more,” you sigh knowing you were coming to the rough part of the story.

“Nari had specifically told us that we were to only use materials she had chosen for us, and limited us to certain color schemes that in my opinion were the ugliest schemes I’d ever seen,” you scoff, “So me being the pushy person I am, I went ahead and continued with my original plan, which was making a watercolor painting because at the end of the day if my painting did happen to get chosen, I wanted it to be a genuine work of mine, not something that was limited by someone who was no more superior than me all because of some flimsy title,” you softly shake your head, “And so I poured my heart into it, working on it every chance I got during that school year in order to make sure that the committee would be so amazed , they’d have no choice but to choose it even if it didn’t exactly follow Nari’s regulations.”

A feigned smile graces onto your lips, refusing to cry at a situation from years ago, “I was so nervous that day to present it, but I was also so excited. Excited because I knew I created a piece that was so beautiful I—,” for a quick second your voice falters, but you’re quick to catch yourself, “I was just so sure they’d choose it,” you whisper, voice sounding frail and defeated.

“That day I presented it, I thought the silence that filled the room was because they were amazed,” you close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to push back any tears that wanted to make their way out, “God I still remember the extra specks of white and gold I added to it the night before, thinking those extra touches were really going to tip the scale in my favor,” you mumble, the embarrassment you felt that day coming back.

Jungkook feels his jaw harden, at this point an automatic response to the thought of your feelings being hurt. He didn’t know why, but to see someone as kind as you act out of character whether it be because you were mad or sad, always caused a heavy feeling in his chest. The only thing you deserved to feel was happiness and comfort, and though he wasn’t sure it was something, he, himself, could guarantee you … he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“After what felt like 20 minutes, of complete silence she slowly got up in front of everyone,” you blankly stare at the trees in front of you, “I remember my heart beating out of my freaking chest for some reason, and the sweat beginning to form at my palms. And the moment she started speaking, I just went blank—” you turn to face Jungkook, who had a worrisome look on his face, “She started to berate me in front of everyone, insulting my hard work and telling me that even despite me breaking her guidelines, the painting still wasn’t any good,” you gulp, “But in fact, her words didn’t bother me at all,” you pause, “it was the comments from my supposed peers that really twisted the knife for me,” you scoff, “and then she did the unthinkable...”

Jungkook feels the heavy weight in his chest drop because he knows what you’re about to say. He knows what that woman did. And he knows why you were so hurt when he destroyed your painting, “She grabbed the canvas from the display board, and she ripped it,” you say, managing to muster up the smallest of smiles, but Jungkook knows that it's nothing more than a facade. An illusion so that he could think that you were no longer hurt by the actions of that woman.

“Once she did that, it just triggered everything else that followed after,” you furrow your brows, refusing to look at Jungkook, “I was being laughed at while having a panic attack,” you scoff, “I felt like I was in a scene from a high school movie,” you attempt to mask your hurt by making a joke.

“I ended up running out of the building, feeling as if my heart was going to explode from how fast it was pounding, and the compression in my throat was almost unbearable,” your voice cracks, “in just 20 minutes she took away any confidence I had in my artistic abilities, In just 20 minutes she made me question everything I knew about myself,” a tear finally falls from your eye, speaking the words you’d never said out loud before into the world.

“I attempted to stay at the school for a couple more weeks after that, but every time I picked up a paint brush, I just kept hearing her words along with the rest of my peers’ as well, second guessing every stroke I made on canvas. I had lost my spark,” you stifle a sob, “After that, I decided to transfer out and follow the plans’ my parents had always set out for me… and well, you know the rest,” you laugh in between your tears, wondering just how pitiful you must’ve looked. But soon enough you feel Jungkook's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug so tight, you never wanted him to let go.

“Don’t leave,” you mumble into his chest.

Jungkook reassures you by cooing a small, “I won’t”, but gently you pull away once he does, holding onto his hand instead. A look of confusion washes over his face.

“No—” you shake your head, realizing he’s misunderstood, “I mean don’t leave our apartment,” you sniffle, giving him a small warm smile, leftover tears still brimming the corners of your eyes. His mouth gapes slightly open, taken back by your statement. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be moving out by Monday.

“We—” you shake your head, deciding that “we” wasn’t the right word in this case, “I need you,” you state, nothing but sincerity behind your words. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat, the close-eyed soft smile that covers your face only making him smile in return.

He doesn’t need to say anything because you know … you know that he needs you just as much as you need him. You know that he’ll never leave your side from this day on because tonight was the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that included each other. Gently he pulls you into another hug, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest being a feeling he could get used to.

“How did you even know where the venue was, or what the time the whole thing was?” you ask Jungkook, questions that hadn’t crossed your mind that day now forming.

“Hobi sent me a text that same night, very um … straightforward?” Jungkook chuckles, “It read, Art Exhibition. **** Namgang-Ro. 7:30 PM. Formal attire. You either go or you don’t. Up to you. Just don’t go crying later on that you regret not going. And well I had debated for several hours, originally chickening out and deciding to use me not having any formal suits as an excuse. That was until I walked into my room to find that Hobi had ironed one of his own for me to use,” Jungkook explains, “And well luckily I grew some balls and went and well now we’re here,” he smiles at you.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cut off too much of the story. We still have to remember all the good that came afterward,” you giggle, and he only flashes you an even bigger smile.

“Ah you’re right, you’re right. How could I forget?”

October 2019. 

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

You see, tonight was Halloween, and for the first time since you and Hobi moved to your guys’  apartment, you were giving out candy to the little kids of your apartment complex who usually went floor to floor trick or treating and it was all thanks to Jungkook. You were surprised really, you would’ve never taken Jungkook as being someone who was such a kid at heart.

After weeks of begging, he’d finally managed to convince you and Hobi to not only dress, but distribute candy. Usually you and Hobi would turn off all the lights and ignore the knocks you’d receive on the door, choosing to have a movie night than to participate in Halloween festivities.

Realistically speaking, you sorta expected Jungkook to go out and party tonight which is why when he notified you weeks prior that all of you were going to be participating in giving out candy, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. Hobi on the other hand required a lot of convincing and though he wasn’t exactly helping with the distribution of candy, watching him dressed as Batman while lazily sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand was a gift in its own.

Jungkook, who desperately wanted to be a male version of Harley Quinn, had made you help him with cinching his crop top, exposing his toned lower abdomen every time he even stretched the slightest bit. It was…. quite a site … even causing several moms with their kids to “accidentally” stumble on your apartment floor again after only being there 10 minutes prior, your own little green monster finally making its appearance ….

But besides that, your favorite part of his whole costume was definitely the face/eye makeup he had done. The smoky blue and red along with the fake tatted heart under his left eye truly acting as the selling point of his costume. It just made him look very hot, more than usual. Hobi had even caught you staring at the boy on several occasions, teasingly nudging you whenever he did.

With Hobi dressed as Batman and Jungkook dressed as Harley Quinn, that of course only left you, who was currently dressed as none other than a female version of the Joker from Suicide Squad because despite how shitty the movie was, the style in which they made the Joker was still indeed very cool. Jungkook had even lent you his own natural artistic abilities to draw the tattoos where your dominant hand couldn’t firmly paint, laughing at the “twinsies” jokes you made in reference to his own tattoos. It had even given you the opportunity to ask him what each one of his own real tattoos meant to him.

Most of his tattoos, he explained, were done out of impulse. A majority of them being done in the states on a complete whim, but a couple of them held significant meaning to him. For example, his tattoo of a bandaged hand clearly represented his history with boxing. He explained that rather than get the overused boxing gloves as a tattoo, he’d get a simple bandaged hand done, deciding that it looked cooler and that you agreed with. Another example was the tattoo that translated to “Life Goes On” which was pretty self-explanatory, but meaningful nonetheless. Jungkook explained that it was one his favorite mottos growing up, and well recently it seemed to weave perfectly into his life.

But your favorite tattoo? The small One Piece manga strip he had across his left forearm. The story behind it almost caused you to shed a tear, had it not been for your white powdered makeup, you probably would've cried. You see, when Jungkook was a young boy he’d always watch One Piece as a distraction from boxing, falling in love with the story and its characters.

His dad, who’d always scold him whenever he caught him late at night watching the anime, never understood why Jungkook liked the show so much. It wasn’t until one night he somehow managed to convince his dad to watch the episode he was on, and despite not knowing anything about what was going on nor the characters’ names, his dad ended up loving the show just as much as him. The show had acted as a new bond between the two, from buying the latest manga volumes to staying up late at night to watch the newest episode. And well the strip on Jungkook’s arm was from the exact episode he had managed to convince his dad to watch with him that night. The tattoo serves as a representation of a memory he holds dearest to him, a memory of his dad.

“Ah I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook looks into the last bag of candy he had bought, absolutely nothing left inside, “Wasn’t this fu—”

“Let’s go get a tattoo,” you interrupt, the idea coming to you out of nowhere. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. A tattoo? You? Ms. I do not even have a dot of ink on my skin?

“A tattoo!?” Hobi turns from the TV, now having got his attention.

Both men stare at you in silence, thinking this was all some big joke until you begin to nod, reaffirming your choice, “Yes! All three of us! Matching roommate tattoos,” you smile, not exactly sure what had gotten into you, but surprisingly... completely okay with it.

Jungkook, noticing just how serious you were about this, begins to feel a smile form on his face. It wasn’t like he minded, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to regret it the next morning, “Y/N, you sure you one? I mean … you’re not someone I picture getting a tattoo, I mean think of your job,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, think of your job!” Hobi butts in, clearly not in favor of getting a tattoo.

Vigorously, you nod your head, “I’m one hundred percent sure,” you laugh, “I promise you, I won’t regret it,” you stick out your pinky finger, and Jungkook is quick to hug it with his own.

“W-What the?” Hobi stutters, unsure if it was the alcohol or shock in his system causing it. Probably both.

You turn to Hobi, “If you really don’t want it, then you don’t have to get it,” you shrug, “But at least come with us,” you smile, hoping that once you were there at the parlor shop you’d be able to convince him.

Sitting on the leather stool with your forearm displayed, the tattooist begins to prep your skin placing rubbing alcohol on the area in which you had chosen to get your tattoo. Now that you are here, you couldn’t lie, you were a bit nervous. But mostly because you were skeptical of the pain the needle would give you. 

Jungkook had described it as “a cat repeatedly scratching a sunburn”... as if you were supposed to know what that means. He also said that depending on your pain tolerance you’d either like the feeling, get used to it, or absolutely hate it. It just varied from person to person as well as the placement where you were choosing to get it.

Supposedly the inner wrist didn’t hurt, but with the sudden stinging sensation you were feeling, you were a bit unsure of that now.

“So is that your boyfriend out there?” the woman tattooing you suddenly asks, catching you completely by surprise. If she didn’t have a pricking needle against your skin , you probably would’ve jumped at the accusation.

Trying your best to keep your cool, you respond, “Oh um—” you shake your head, “No,” you awkwardly laugh, “I wish”, you think to yourself.

“Hmm,” she hums, the same smirk Jimin once gave you appearing on her face, “Sorta seemed like it out there, I mean I’m sure if he had the option he would’ve chosen to sit here right next to you and hold your hand,” she teases, and a blush appears on your cheeks.

“Oh that���s just how he is with everyone,” you reason, not wanting to feed into the delusions that Jungkook could possibly return any feelings for you, “He’s a very protective person, sometimes a little too much, but it has its benefits,” you joke around.

She shrugs, continuing to work on the small tattoo, “”Mm I don’t know, I mean the way with the way he looks at youuuu,” she sings, “because you clearly like him,” she laughs.

“No I don’t!” you pout, “We’re just close friends, that’s all….”

“Close friends don’t look at each other like that, and they’re certainly not as touchy as you two are,” she says, only causing you to scoff.

“You don’t know what you’re ta—”

“All done!” she smiles, wiping over the fresh new ink on your skin one last time, “Look how easy it was for me to get you to stop wincing so much,” she winks at you, and suddenly everything begins to make sense. She was trying to get you to relax. Was the topic she chose really the best one? No. But it worked didn’t it?

She places the plastic wrap over it, “So what do you think?” you stare at the new permanent piece of work on your skin, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Ah I—”

“Love it so much!” you flash Jungkook the two-month old ink on your skin, the digital numbers “00:00” acting as a permanent reminder of the day all three of you officially became roommates. It was small, yes, but to you it meant so much.

Jungkook pulls his own sleeve, showing you his own matching ink, “Zero o’ clock,” he hums, recalling a song he heard not too long ago on the radio.

“Ah too bad we couldn’t convince Hobi to get one,” you sigh, remembering how firm he was that night, “but we’ll get him next time,” you laugh.

Jungkook quirks his brow, “Next time?”

You nod your head, “I can see why people get addicted to these things,” you joke, “they’re like their own pieces of art,” you smile.

“Design mine next time,” he suddenly says, his statement coming off more as a command than a question. Turning to face him, you look for any small sign that he was joking.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “I think a watercolor style painting would look amazing rightttt,” he points to the side of his ribcage, “here.”

Eyes widening in shock, you’re in complete disbelief, “You—you’re crazy!” you laugh, refusing to take him seriously.

“Ah I’m being serious Y/N,” he pouts, “Come on you know you want toooo,” he sings, softly nudging you.

You stare at him for a moment, “Are you sure?” you ask, skeptical about his seriousness.

He nods, “As sure as you were about getting that tattoo that night,” he teases, and you only roll your eyes in return.

“Mmm,” you hum, “I’ll think about it.”

“Think?! I’m your roommate!” he dramatically complains, throwing his head against your shoulder, suddenly in a clingy mood. Maybe the tattooist was right… maybe you two were a little too touchy….

You mean, just last month during friendsgiving, Hobi just had to complain in front of everyone claiming, “If you two don’t get your own room—”

“Then I think at some point this turkey is going to come back alive just to tell you two himself,” he slurs his words, wine glass in hand.

Drunk Yoongi tags in, “How do you know it’s a he?” he squints his eyes, gearing up for a debate.

Hobi rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive motion with his hand, “Not now Yoongi,” he says, causing everyone sitting at the table to laugh, and he turns his attention back to you and Jungkook, currently sitting next to each other, “Are you two going to continue playing footsies or are you finally going to—”

Seokjin interrupts by awkwardly coughing and tapping his champagne glass with his fork, getting up from his seat in the process, “I think it’s the perfect time to do our annual “What am I thankful for” toast, so I’ll begin,” he laughs, all eyes on him, “So um this year I am thankful for all of my friends who continuously stick by side throughout the years, and for the wonderful woman I’ve grown to love more and more every day,” he warmly smiles at his girlfriend, the two already seeming like a married couple despite having only met this year. Seokjin turns his attention to Yoongi, signalling that it was his turn.

He groans before getting up, peeved as to why Seokjin always insisted on doing these things, “Okay okay—”

“This is gonna take a while,” you whisper to Jungkook, Yoongi’s speech now fading into the background.

Jungkook quietly chuckles in response, “You think? How long do you think it’ll take before he starts with his  “back in my day” speech?” he jokes around.

Suddenly Yoongi’s voice becomes more audible, “Back in my day we didn’t use—”

You and Jungkook snortle a laugh, “Not long,” you respond, the two of you trying your best to keep your snickering at a low.

“So … got anything prepared?” he asks, this being his first year and all doing this kind of thing, he was a bit nervous as to what to say.

You shake your head, “Mm no, you just sorta say what’s on your mind? I guess?” you awkwardly laugh, “Trust me, as long as they have their bottles of soju next to them, whatever you say will go in one ear and out the other,” you reassure, remembering the first year you did this and gave a heartwarming speech, just for it to be ignored because Namjoon could’ve sworn he’d seen the “turkey move”. From there it led to an hour debate on whether a dead freaking turkey could still possibly be alive after having it in the oven for several hours.

He nods his head, noting what you’ve said.

After going around it was now the last toast of the night,“Ah and lastly onto our newest member in this friend group,” Namjoon, who had just finished his own speech, turns to Jungkook and pats his shoulder, “take it away,” he gives him a dimpled smile before sitting back in his seat.  

Jungkook awkwardly blinks at him for a moment, not getting up until you nudge him to do so. “Oh yeah…” he forces a laugh, “Um so where do I begin,” you almost feel second hand embarrassment, if you thought you weren’t any good under pressure, Jungkook might take the crown.

“So… The first thing I want to say I’m thankful for are the new friends I’ve made since coming to Seoul,” he spares a glance to the boys, “um..” he bites his lip, “The second thing or person may I say, that I want to thank is Hobi…” he smiles at the drunk man, “well for giving me a second chance per say,” he chuckles, “I know I don’t say it often, but I’m truly grateful for you picking up my call that night,” Hobi gives a small warm smile, “And well the last person I want really want to mention that I’m thankful for is … you,” Jungkook suddenly turns his attention down to you, catching you by surprise.

Raising your eyebrows, you wonder where this is coming from, “I um—” he feighs a small laugh, “I know I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I first moved in, but—” he exhales a breath, “But you gave continuously gave me a chance to prove otherwise every single time until I finally got it right,” he smiles, “and well last year I had a pretty rough year,” he jokes around, “and honestly I thought coming in 2019 it’d be just bad, but you single handedly proved me wrong and made sure this was going to be a year for me to remember and well for that I’m forever grateful,” you silently blink away any tears, not wanting to get teased at for crying after this his speech was done. He breaks away the gaze he held on you in order to finish his speech off, “So with that I say … cheers everyone!”

Everyone raises their glasses of whatever it was they chose to drink, clinking it all in the middle and repeating “Cheers!” before gulping down whatever was left of their drinks. The rest of the night is filled with nothing but laughs and joy, as well as the remainder of the month, every single day creating a new memory for the three of you, until you were left with nothing but...

“The present day,” you whisper to yourself, unable to believe that the year had gone by so fast.

“What a year it’s been huh…” Jungkook softly smiles, glancing at the time on his phone which reads 11:50. 10 more minutes until the new year. 10 more minutes until zero’o clock.

“Yeah…” a comfortable silence fills the air around you, how had the hour gone by in the blink of an eye? You wonder if it’s the effect Jungkook just naturally has on people because never did you find time going by so fast unless you were with him.

“I—”

“So—”

Your cheeks become a tinge of pink , “Oh you go first—” he shakes his head.

“No, no, go ahead,” he laughs, insisting that you go instead.

This was the perfect chance, the chance to tell him about the feelings you’d grown to have for him in the past year. You just needed to grow the courage to say those three letter words that were itching to be said. It was either now or never.  

“I um, I just wanted to say thank you,” you chicken out once again, “I didn’t get the chance to say it on friendsgiving, but,” you gulp, “your speech it um meant a lot to me, and well I’m just as grateful for you,” you chuckle, “I think maybe even more.”

Had you noticed, you would’ve seen the slightly disappointed look on Jungkook’s face, “Oh..” he says, a small pout appearing on his face.

“What were you going to say?” you ask, faking the pep in your voice, ready to eternally scold yourself for being a chicken once you got back to the cabin.

He sighs, “It’s nothing really,” he shrugs, but you nudge his shoulder before he could divert the conversation elsewhere.

“Come on, just say it,” you tease, “because you either speak now or forever hold your piece,” you look at the time, “5 minutes till midnight.”

He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should say what had been on his mind for quite some time, “I um—” fuck it, it was either now or never, “You know how I told you that I couldn’t sleep right? That it’s why I came out here…” you innocently nod your head as he continues, “well it’s cause I had already sorta been thinking about everything that’s happened this year…” he lets out a small chuckle.

“I mean isn’t it crazy?” he pushes his hair back with his hand, “Someone who was nothing more than a stranger before the clock hit twelve that night is now someone I can’t picture not being in my life,” you feel your heart flutter at his words, “And I mean to think we didn’t get along at first,” he lets out a breath of disbelief, “All because I was a person who was—” he pauses, unsure of how to describe himself from that time, “angry,” he decides to say, “I was an angry person who mad at the world,” he bites his lip in retribution for his attitude back then.

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head, “you were just someone who was… hurt. That’s all it was,” you say.

“You think?” you nod your head yes, “I never really thought about it like that,” he mumbles, “Would you do it all over again?” he suddenly asks, and you find yourself quirking your brow at his question, “Like if you had the chance would you do it all over again…” he further explains.

Without a second thought you say, “Yeah I would,” you giggle, “And you?”

He remains silent for a moment, pondering on his own question before nodding his head as well, “I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again because then I’d get to relive the process of falling in love with you all over again,” he finally says, “I’d get to pinpoint the exact moment this year that I fell in love with you.”

“In ten, nine, eight…” the families around you begin to shout the countdown, and all you can do is stare at Jungkook in disbelief of what you just heard come out of his mouth.

“Y-You love me?” you manage to stutter out, a smile now forming on your lips.

“Seven, six, five…..”

Silently, he nods his head, a loving smile on his face as he leans towards you, the flutter in your stomach only intensifying.

“Four, three, two, one….”

And as if time had stopped, his lips finally meet yours and the only thing you could feel were the placement of warm lips against yours, giving you a New Year’s kiss that would be remembered for years to come.

“Happy New Year!” the sound of fireworks popping are echoed in the background because the only thing you could focus on were the soft lips that were moving with yours. His fingers curl around yours, creating such an intimacy that you were sure you had to be dreaming. It wasn’t until you found yourself kissing him back that the reality of everything finally set in. Jungkook loved you.

Slowly he pulls away, savoring the kiss till its very last moment, “Happy New Years Y/N,” he whispers, a grin plastered on his face.

Laughing in return, you smile, “Happy New Years Jungkook.”

**

Once you and Jungkook returned to the cabin, you were met with several complaints from Hobi, “Finally! We’ve been freezing all night!” Hobi exclaimed the moment you two walked in, harshly grabbing the firewood from Jungkook’s hands. It wasn’t until he peeped your linked arms that everything began to make sense, “Ahhh,” he gives you two a toothy grin, “You guys, look who’ve finally confessed to one another,” he yells, catching the attention of everyone in the living room.

Suddenly the room is filled with several “finally’s” causing both of your mouths to slightly agape open. “What do you mean “finally” ?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at Hobi for an explanation.

He scoffs, “Don’t act dense you two!” he laughs, “It was so obvious you two liked one another, you two were just too blind to see it yourselves,” he scolds both you and Jungkook by flicking your foreheads, “You just didn’t have to go confessing while all of us were freezing in here!”

Both you and Jungkook awkwardly laugh, a guilty look on one another’s face. “Well choo you two before I make you two clean everything up and babysit our friends!” Hobi makes a motion with his hands, and the two of you are quick to make your way upstairs into Jungkook’s room. Thankful that he didn’t punish the two of you.

Jungkook is quick to take off his puffy jacket, plopping himself onto the bed like a little kid, a loud breathy sigh following after. You stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, that is until you see him open his arms wide with a pout appearing on his face, “Come onnn,” he sings, “Let’s cuddle,” he shoots you a smile.

Playfully you roll your eyes before taking off your own jacket, plopping onto the spot next to him. Small feverish giggles escape your lips once he begins to give you tiny kisses all over, enveloping you in a hug so tight, it would’ve been impossible to ever doubt his feelings for you.

“Jungkook stop,” you laugh, the tickles he was now giving you making the sides of your stomach hurt, “Jung—” you attempt to push his hand away, face becoming red at just how much you were laughing, his own high-pitched laugh echoing across the walls of the room with you. From there he does a mixture of both tickling and kissing you, the two of you truly in your own world.

Soon though, your little game of tickles becomes a full on makeout session, not that you were complaining. Currently you lay under him with Jungkook leaning against you, using his arm that rested on the bed as support.

Slowly he slips his tongue into your mouth, gentle but demanding, nothing less than pure love behind the kiss. “Jungkooook,” you quietly whine once he begins to move onto your neck, every suckle lasting a little longer than the last. His hand interlocks with yours as he continues, you’re hand subconsciously playing with his hair from behind, making small twirls with the brown wavy locks of hair.

“I love youuu,” he cooes, a certain gleam to his eyes. Soon enough, his fingers were teasingly playing with the waistband of your leggings. And God, were you dripping. “Can I?” he innocently looks at you, licking his lips in the process. You’d be crazy to say no.

Nodding your head yes, he nudges your legs apart and begins to pull off the cotton fabric from your legs. You help him along the way, desperate to receive your own pleasure.

Teasingly, he swipes his index finger over the fabric of your underwear, continuing to pepper you with warm kisses on the underside of your jaw. The grip you had on his hair became tighter with every swipe, “Aren’t you wet?” he slyly chuckles, rubbing small circles with his placed finger.

“Stop teasing,” you whine, only causing him to muffle a laugh against your shoulder.

“I just wanna take my timeeeee,” he hums, placing a kiss to your cheek, “Can I take my time?” he pouts, only causing you to roll your eyes, agreeing nonetheless, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pecking you on the lips before continuing, cupping your cheek with his … unoccupied … hand.

“God you’re beautiful,” he says staring at your pleasured expression, a result of the friction between his finger and your underwear becoming more intense.

“Jungkook,” your voice shakes, wanting needing him to do something before the muscles in your leg spasm any more.

“Shh shh not too loud,” he softly mumbles, because considering how drunk the boys’ were, any loud noise and you’d have someone idiotically stumbling into the room in order to find out whatever the noise was. Not wanting you to complain any more, he slips his finger under your underwear, pressing both his middle and index finger to the centerfold of your sex, “Look how wet you are,” he smirks, coaxing another moan from your lips.

Jungkook couldn’t lie, he’d envisioned this moment a couple of times before, but to have it becoming a reality was completely different than what he imagined. It was indeed better.

“I bet you’d love for me to take these off,” he teasingly pretends to pull down your panties, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Please Jungkook,” you cry, how was it possible to already be on the verge of releasing when he hadn’t even done anything explicit yet? He begins to move his fingers up and down your clit, coating his fingers with your wetness, preparing to insert his fingers in your aching hole, “Please—” you attempt to whimper his name again, but his lips passionately kiss you before you get the chance to. It’s once he does that, that the energy in the room shifts, becoming one of playful teasingness to one of passion and love. It’s while he kisses you that he finally sinks his single finger into your pussy, your wetness helping him in gradually picking up the pace until soon enough he’s able to slip in another. Your moan being suppressed by the pressing of his lips against yours, softly nibbling on your lower lip.  

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, the squelching sounds coming from your pussy bringing him a sense of pleasure, “Can’t wait to make love to you,” he whispers watching as your eyes lazily roll back, the sight being one he’d remember for a very long time.

“J—Just like that Jungkook,” you manage to stutter out, your arousal dripping in and out of your pussy as he continues with his motions. By now you feel his hardened member kneading against panties, his self-restraint holding on by a string. God, did he wanna fuck your brains out already. Had you been some kind of one night stand and he probably would already be doing so, but you, well you were different. You were his. And he was going to make sure you knew it to.

With his other hand he begins to slide his way under your shirt, caressing your breasts while fingering you, “Take off the shirt,” he mumbles while planting kisses on your neck, and you’re quick to obey, pulling the shirt over your head and uncaringly throwing it onto the floor.

By now you were dressed in only your underwear and bra, which to you seemed a bit unfair and so purposely you begin to play with the hem of his shirt, in hopes that he’d get the message. When he doesn’t, you momentarily stop him from kissing you any further, mumbling a tiny, “Mm take off your shirt,” causing him to let out a breathy laugh. He does as told, exposing the toned torso you’d find yourself frequently gawking over for in the past year. Because truly, his body proportions were insane.

Gently pulling him from his hair, you deepen the kiss by running your other hand across his bare back, the warm skin to skin touch providing another level of intimacy. “Let me eat you out,” he murmurs against your lips, waiting for a simple three letter word so that he can finally pull off your panties.

Instead you give him a small “MmHm,” with a small nod which in this case would suffice as he was sure you were too lost in your own world of pleasure to properly respond. Delicately he removes your underwear, parting your legs in between before lowering his head.

Without saying a word, he runs his finger against your slit, licking and sucking on the fluid that dripped from his finger. What. A. Fucking. Tease. “Jungkooook,” you whine like a brat, the heat you felt below almost unbearable at this point.

“What a pretty pussy,” he rasps, gives your clit a gentle kiss before suckling against it, his saliva mixing with your fluids. Immediately you feel a wave of pure bliss, your fingers slightly trembling at just how good the sudden sensation felt.

“Oh God Jungkook,” you needily whisper once he slips his finger back inside, pushing it deep into your core all while eating you out. Your breathy moans along with the sound of your wet pussy being toyed around with, fill the room. With your eyes half-open, you manage to look down at the sight of Jungkook licking through your folds, his messy hair covering most of his face until you use your hand to push it back, wanting to savor the view in front of you.

“Just look at you,” he groans, admiring the view of your back arched along with your thighs which slightly quivered at the flicks of his tongue, “All fucking mine, you got that?” he asks.

When you don’t respond, he inserts a second finger, catching your attention.

“Yes!” you cry at the sudden jolt of pleasure, his fingers scissoring inside of you, “I’m all yours,” you answer and to that he smirks, curling his fingers inside you. His ego at a level unthinkable. From there he continues to suck and slurp any remnants of your wetness, ignoring your warnings that you were about to orgasm.

It isn’t until he feels a quick rougher than usual tug to the hair followed with a gentle release that he knows you’ve came. Only then does he stop, quickly making his way to sweetly kiss you as you ride through your orgasm. You barely manage to kiss him back, too overwhelmed by orgasm he just brought down on you.

He cups your face once again, making out with you once again even if you were lazily kissing him back, “Jungkook,” you croak out, “Make love to me,” you dazedly whisper, recalling his words from earlier, and without a single word he begins to kiss you again, this time even more passionately (if that was possible) your words triggering a certain fire within him. And despite being in a post-orgasm state, you kiss him with just as much passion as he is doing to you.

By now the two of your hands’ were entangled with each others’ hair, Jungkook roughly pressing his clothed erection against the barity of your pussy. Releasing one of his hands from his hair, he smoothly travels down your back, removing the clasp of your bra with his hand. Deciding not to question his skills, you help further remove it until you’re only left completely nude. Your tits now on full display for him.  

He soon begins to tenderly suck on your hardened nipples, one hand caressing the opposing tit whenever he was sucking on one, providing equal attention to both. You begin to play with the button of his black pants, desperately ready to have Jungkook completely inside you. Jungkook notices your lack of patience, deciding that just this time he’d give you what you want.

Pushing himself off you, he begins to unbutton his pants, your heart now beating out of excitement once you see the band of his black boxers. This was really happening. And though you’d seen Jungkook’s cock before, specifically with a woman having it wrapped inside her mouth, to see it this time around was definitely much more shocking than the first…. Was he always this big? The veins that run along his fair-colored cock only add to it’s intimidating appearance.

Pushing himself back on you, he sloppily kisses you all over, from your mouth to the side of your neck, slowly making his way downard. His cock teases the slit of your entrance, coaxing along the delicate folds of your pussy. Intertwining his hand with yours, he looks at you one last time, “You ready?” he breathes out.

Biting your lip, you slowly nod your head yes, his head then slowly pushing into your tight entrance, a groan coming from both of your lips, “God I fucking love you,” he breathily moans beside your ear.

“I love you too,” you whisper in return, his gaze never leaving yours as his cock tortuously enters you inch by inch, the grip you have on his hand tightening with every passing second, “Oh my god,” you whimper, his pre-cum along with your prior wetness making the push inside more bearable.  

It isn’t until you’re completely filled up by his cock that he slowly begins to move. Each and every deep thrust garnerning both whines and mewls from you, “Fuck,” he moans, his voice raspy from pleasurable sensation he was feeling. Somehow he manages to continue to plaster kisses all over you, his hands tightly wrapped around your waist as he continues to grind his hips against yours, making nothing but love to you.

Your hot walls now take him with ease, the small pressure you had originally felt having slowly faded away. He keeps his thrusts at a moderate pace, wanting to savor the moment.

“J—Jungkook,” you cry out, feeling your second orgasm coming as you wrap your legs around his waist. He begins to pick up his pace, “Faster,” you moan, remembering that he was definitely okay with having rough sex, considering how many times you’d have to hear other woman moan just how harder they wanted back in the beginning of last year. Who said he couldn’t do the same for you?

“Faster?” he questions, a certain spark now in his eye, “You sure?” eagerly you nod your head yes, too lost in the idea of your possible orgasm to think of the repercussions of your answer. Because soon you find yourself getting completely fucked out, the pace of his thrust becoming almost uncomparable to the pace he was going before, this time not caring at all for rhythm. By now you're sure that your different number of cries and moans could be heard from downstairs, but honestly you could give less of a fuck.

The sound of your skin slapping with his echo against the wooden walls, your eyes screwing shut as you felt your high come. His rapid thrust continuing as he fucks you into oblivion, “Just look at you, creaming on my fucking cock,” he groans, by now sweat was forming on the creases of his forehead, “and to think I get to have you like this all to myself, every single day,” he chuckles, the tight feeling in his abdomen signalling to him that his own release was coming.

“Cum in me Jungkook,” you whine, and with that he does, his white milky cum coating your walls from the inside and out. He admires the view in front of him, the sight of you completely fucked out with his cum dripping from the entrance of your pussy, wondering how he got so lucky.

Out of breath, the two of you cuddle with one another, your eyes half closed, ready to knock out at any moment. But before you do, Jungkook peppers one last kiss onto your cheek, mumbling a final “I love you,” ready for the new memories this year would bring for the two of you.

a/n : ahhhhhh! finally finished with my finals so i was able to finally get this done! for some reason i sorta got attached to this couple, i think it’s because we got to see literally every month of their forming relationship so i just ended up really loving the dynamic between the two lmao. butttt all stories must come to an end :( and i’m very happy with how this story came out, but who knows maybe we’ll this couple again in the future. anywayssss like, reblog, comment, message me an anon or even directly! anything is appreciated (I swear im not a mean person) and ill see yall next time! 💞 

mini taglist: @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ 

[ssa-dg]

Walls are Built to be Knocked Down

Overview: this takes place in season 7 episode 2. You joined the BAU after the death of Emily and JJ’s departure. However when they both come back, everyone is shook up.

TW: mentions of drugs, murder, rape (it takes place in the episode). Adult themes

Relationship: Spencer Reid x (female) reader

Word count: 3352

Author’s note: so I have been wanting to write another short story about Spencer but couldn’t get myself to do it. Glad I got inspired by episode 2 of season 7. This is when Spencer is still mad at JJ about Emily. The unsub is the one who is neuro-divergent and is obsessed with his brother’s wife. If you have any suggestions on how to write a better Spencer Reid, I would love that. I struggle with writing an accurate Reid because he is supposed to be so smart and I’m the type of person who has been told she’s “dumb” so it’s an insecurity of mine. Give me advice if you have any just be nice. P.S. the formatting on this is so weird. I don’t have my laptop rn because it’s getting fixed and the mobile version of this app sucks lol

You and Spencer were never really good friends. You two were good coworkers and you always got along well, but it took Spencer a lot to let people behind his wall. So when you joined the team from the whit collar unit, after Emily’s death. You could tell everyone on your new team was grieving, and because you didn’t know them all that well you didn’t pry. Though slowly each member let things slide to you about their grieving. You didn’t expect that to happen but you weren’t surprised. You were always a reliable person, old friends would come out of nowhere just to talk to you about their problems, or random people in cabs, on the subway, etc. You just had that air about you, one that was dependable, nonjudgmental, and understanding. Your family called it your superpower.

So when Emily turned out to be alive and JJ and Hotch knew the whole time, the team was stunned. You didn’t fully comprehend the travesty of what they went through but you understood the pain and relief that accompanied them. Knowing they probably had 100 million different conflicting emotions swirling in them you suspected they’d be going through “it” the next months.

As JJ walked into the BAU with Prentiss talking about how she had passed all the qualifications to finally become a profiler, JJ saw Spencer come out of the elevator. “Hey, where have you been?” JJ asked him, “I wanted to do brunch this weekend”

“I had to deal with some stuff with my mom,” he flipped through the pages in a file to avoid eye contact with his friend, “have you seen Y/N?” he finished.

“Uh, she’s at her desk I think,” Spencer sped off to your desk. “He hates me,” JJ finished.

You sat at your desk looking over case files when Spencer came rushing up to you. “Hey, Y/N,” he greeted you and looked around.

“What’s up?” You asked expecting there to be a reason he came to your desk.

“Nothing just wanted to say hi,” he saw JJ and Prentiss go into the round table room.

“Well, hi,” you laughed and followed his gaze to your two co-workers. “Ahh, I see,” you said out loud.

His head looked down at you,” what do you mean ‘ahh, I see,’?” He was obviously annoyed by your statement.

You raised your hands up in surrender, “nothing, nothing. Shall we go?” You stood up and tilted your head towards the conference room. He nodded his head.

When you guys walked in and you went to sit in an open seat next to Morgan, Spencer lightly grabbed your elbow and pulled you the opposite way and had you sit between him Emily and JJ. You just looked at him knowing what he was doing. Although you gave him a glare to indicate you didn’t like being manhandled by him, you secretly enjoyed it. You were unsure why it did it but it created a feeling in you that you were not ready to associate with your coworker. He just gave you a bit of a ‘don’t-say-anything’ glare and looked back down at the file. You rolled your eyes and felt Prentiss looking at you. You shrugged your shoulders as if to say ‘I don’t know why he just did that’.

In walked Rossi and Garcia, “look master of all things Italian, I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.” Garcia insisted.

“Maybe you should show a Disney movie and stick with burgers,” Rossi responded, still a bit offended by the pig substitute.

“You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson,” Derek suggested.

“I could help,” you spoke up from across the table. Everyone looked at you confused, “You all act like I’m not Italian. I used to go back there every summer to visit my extended family,” you rolled your eyes and defended yourself.

“Oh my gosh that would be amazing. That would be like- that would be like the iron chef meets the BAU,” Garcia looked back and forth between you and Rossi. You felt Spencer’s eyes on you and looked at him. His scrunched up eyebrows and set jaw told you that he didn’t know that about you or maybe he forgot. You just smiled at him, and tilted your head like it was nothing.

“And we could do it at your house,” Garcia looked over at Rossi.

“I don’t have a house. I have a mansion,” he laughed.

“All right let’s get started,” Hotch instructed.

Everytime JJ talked at the round table, Reid couldn’t even look at her. He kept his gaze down and you saw the muscle in his jaw bone tighten as he clenched his it. The victims were girls who all looked the same, helping a bit to narrow down the victimology. The dump sights also helped narrow down the geographical, although nothing was ever set in stone right off the bat. Everytime Spencer spoke you could tell there was hidden meaning beneath it all directed towards JJ.

On the jet you dug in deeper into the case. You started to notice Spencer stuck close to you, as if you were an extra layer of shielding from JJ. He sat next to you and when JJ spoke he’d either look down at the files in his hands or at your files in your hand. “Dave you and I will talk to the parents.Y/LN head over with us to the police station, and get us set up. Go over what they have and talk to the detectives. Morgan and Prentiss go to the disposal sites. JJ, you and Reid to the abduction sites,” Hotch ordered. JJ gave a soft smile to Spencer and you felt him tighten up next to you, and look away from her. Her smile faded into concern and annoyance and looked at you for help. You just shrugged unsure how to help.

Once you collected all the information on the crime board at the station you helped out Hotch and Rossi at the coroner's office. Then you got the call that there was a third victim. There he burned the woman’s tongue with sulfuric acid. As you, Rossi, JJ, and Reid looked over the body. The quips JJ and Reid were throwing at each other was escalating quickly.

“— instead of dealing with it. He’s acting out,” JJ looked up at Reid as she spoke about the unsub but also meant it for Reid. If looks could inflict pain, the look Reid responded to JJ with would have seriously injured her. Spencer walked off in anger. JJ looked around for help, or maybe back up. You looked at her giving her ‘I’ll take care of it’ look and went after Spencer.

Once you caught up to him and tried to talk to him he wasn’t having it. He quickly dived into perfecting the profile and ignored all conversation about anything else. He was reinforcing the walls he built around himself.

Now back at the station, you all delivered the profile to the police force. Spencer was still not looking at JJ.

Once the profile was delivered Spencer went into the room where the BAU was working out of, JJ following him.

“Spence. Look we gotta talk about this,” JJ insisted.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he responded.

“I get it, okay? You’re disappointed with the way we handled Emily,”

“Listen I have a lot going on alright,”

“You know what I think it is, you’re mad that Hotch and I were able to hold our micro-expressions at the hospital. And you weren’t able to detect our deception,” JJ finally getting angry and defending herself.

“You think it’s about my profiling skills? Jennifer, listen the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend,” the tears beginning to well in both of their eyes, “and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

“I couldn’t,”

“You couldn’t or you wouldn’t,”

“I couldn’t,” she shouted and defended herself.

“What if I started taking dilaudid again. Would you have let me?” he asked.

“You didn’t,” she answered, confused why he was asking.

“Yeah, but I thought about it,” he confessed, and hurt even more that she didn’t realize how low he actually was during that time.

“Spence,” she called out as he tried to walk away, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late, all right?” He walked away from her.

“Reid,” Emily called for him and looked back at JJ.

You followed Spencer out the door. You knew it was risky to seek him out right now but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to try and help him. You couldn’t explain the pull he had on you right now but you usually followed your instincts and they hadn’t let you down yet.

“Spencer, wait up,” you tried to catch up to his long strides.

“Are you here to tell me off, or ask me to apologize to JJ? Because if so, don’t waste your breath. I’m not going to,” he angrily twirled around to you, which made you stop yourself before running into him.

“I wasn’t — I wasn’t going to say that. I know why you’re mad. And I think the way your acting is justified, maybe a bit immature but it’s justified,” you answered.

Spencer looked confused at your response then angrily he said “why am I acting this way then? Why am I so justified?” He was testing you in some way. If you said the wrong thing he’d yell at you too, and he would build that wall around himself so high no one would ever be allowed in again. He was hurting and right now he felt like hurting others was the only way to feel like he was in control.

“You feel betrayed. You understand why Emily had to fake her death. You understand why no one on the team was allowed to know but you don’t understand why JJ was in on it and how she kept her cool. You don’t understand how she could watch your heart break over the loss of a loved one and stand there with the knowledge to save you from all your grieving. JJ is your best friend, you trust her and love her. And best friends are supposed to help take away the pain, and you feel betrayed and taken advantage of because of that,” you finished. You could tell by the look he gave you that the wall he was building was not prepared for you to hit it so hard it cracked. His face went from openness and feeling seen, to defensive and angry at you not giving him a reason to yell at you. “You want her to understand and feel the pain she caused you. which might be why you are acting out? But when the time comes you’ll forgive her because you know deep down what you need JJ and her friendship and eventually you’ll remember all she did for you. Right now you’re hurting, but the way you get rid of that pain isn’t about being mean or hurting her, you’ll need to remember your love for your friend. And find it in yourself if you can forgive her. Am I right?” You asked him, but you already knew the answer. He let out a sigh and looked down at you. He looked at you for the first time in all his time of knowing you. You understood what he was going through more so than his closest friend, and even more so than some of his teammates who had known him for years. How could he have overlooked you for so long. He quickly looked down at your lips and the tension between you two changed. The breathing between you two became heavy and noticeable. He turned quickly and stormed off.

Eventually you all caught the unsub and saved the young girl. This time on the plane though Spencer sat in the back. He spread his stuff across the table indicating he didn’t want anyone to sit there. You took the hint, and even though you had never been close to Spencer other than him using you today for an emotional defense, you felt a coldness being away from him. A coldness, you didn’t even want to know where it would lead you.

Emily walked back to him after a short time on the plane. You could tell what she was doing and thought it was a good idea. You looked at them and analysed their behaviors. You saw the shift in them as Emily laughed for a second and from the back of Spencer you saw him move in his seat to avoid the subject. Emily leaned in as she began to explain her side of what had happened. Spencer was still mad, but by the way his shoulders sloped he was more tired than angry.

You got dressed up in one of your favorite black dresses with knee high black boots and a fancy long coat. As you pulled into the parking lot, you were a bit self conscious about what you were about to do.

You walked up the steps, found the door you were looking for, and knocked lightly. You heard some shuffling around and then heard the door unlock.

“Hey,” you spoke softly as you took in Spencer standing before you. He quickly looked you up and down and smiled, “what are you doing here? I thought you were helping Rossi teach the others how to cook?” He asked.

“Well I was, but I thought my friend might need me more tonight,” you softly smiled at him. “I was wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat,” you shyly asked, “or if you have plans, we can do something another time,” You looked at his attire and enjoyed the blue sport coat he was wearing, along with the colorful shirt under it. His hair was brushed with a light amount of product in it. It was like he was ready to go out.

“No, I was actually going to go to Rossi’s,” he admitted and you knew what that meant for him. It was more than going to Rossi’s, it was actually forgiving JJ and Emily.

“Well, I can take us, if you want,” you offered as you jingled your keys in front of him.

He gave a soft laugh, and nodded his head as he grabbed his stuff from his apartment.

“I just need to stop somewhere real quick to pick something up,” you added.

When you showed up to Rossi’s you were obviously late. But the smile on everyone’s face as Spencer walked in the room was worth it. You walked behind them with your arms wrapped around Derek and let everyone take in Spencer. You quickly handed Rossi, the cannoli’s you made and brought for desert.

After everyone said hello and got to cheers their wine glasses, it was time to cook. Instead of you cooking, Rossi decided you needed to help supervise. As you reminded everyone what the texture of the pasta had to be, and how the pancetta should look like cooked, you felt yourself always catching Spencer’s eyes and smiling.

“What’s that about?” Emily asked from behind you.

You turned startled by her, “what do you mean?”

“You and Reid, you guys came together and now you won’t keep your eyes off of each other. So what’s going on?” She asked.

You shook your head, “nothing is going on. I just gave Spencer a ride,” you responded.

“Uh-huh,” Emily skeptically looked at you. You rolled your eyes at her. Once you knew Emily wasn’t looking you slipped a glance at Spencer again and saw him smiling and laughing at something Garcia said. You couldn’t help but smile at them.

“I should say thank you,” you heard JJ say behind you.

You turned and looked at him, “why?” You asked a bit confused.

“You brought Spencer here, and he’s talking to me again. I can’t help but think you had something to do with that,” she answered.

“I didn’t do anything. He came to that conclusion on his own,” you responded.

“Well, either way, thank you for being there for him. I know he has a hard time opening up and trusting people,” she whispered. You nodded your head unsure how to respond. Out of everyone on the team you knew JJ and Emily the least as they weren’t on the team when you joined and had just returned.

As the finishing touches were put on everyone’s pasta you took a seat at Rossi’s big dinner table. You were used to sitting next to Garcia and Rossi. You expected the same people to sit near you but Spencer was quick to steal the seat where Garcia usually sat. You looked up at the young doctor standing over you as he placed a bowl of pasta in front of you. His smile told you everything. The weight of his anger had lifted and he felt rejuvenated. You gave him an odd look as he placed his glass of wine in the spot next to you. He just gave you a goofy face back. You ignored it, but you couldn’t help the feeling bubbling in your chest as you over thought him picking the seat next to you instead of next to the others like JJ, Emily or Derek.

You felt bloated after your meal but it didn’t really matter to you because you felt loved. With your Italian heritage, eating and sharing moments like this is where you felt most loved. This was no exception. You loved this BAU family that you were a part of. As the night went on and moved from the dining table to outside in Rossi’s backyard. You crawled into a loveseat couch and Spencer followed and sat next to you. You pulled a blanket off the back of the seat and draped it across you both. Spencer smiled in gratefulness.

“Say Grazie to the wonderful Y/N, for making and bringing the cannoli,” he announced and brought out the delish Italian treat.

“Oh my gosh I love cannoli,” squealed Garcia. Each person grabbed one and a silence fell over the group as they ate their cannoli. You couldn’t help but snuggle into Spencer a bit as the night moved forward and the talking kept going.

Slowly people left. Hotch was one of the first to go as he had to get back to Jack, then Derek and Garcia, next was JJ and Emily, and you and Reid.

The drive back to Spencer’s was filled with music theory facts, as the two of you got on the subject because you played your favorite songs playlist. One by one you each played songs that mean something to you. You enjoyed hearing the songs that made Spencer Reid, Spencer. They were all over the spectrum of music from classical to pop to indie to folk. You two sat in the parking lot for about an hour before you felt yourself yawning often.

“I should go so you can get home,” Spencer noted sadly.

“Unfortunately, I think you’re right,” you agreed.

“Unfortunately?” His right eyebrow was raised flirtatiously.

You blushed, “yeah, I had a fun night with you.” You looked down in embarrassment.

Spencer moved to place his hand on yours. He hesitated for a second then covered your hand. “I had a fun night too,” he admitted. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Good, because I still owe you a dinner,” you added playfully.

Spencer pulled his lips in and bit them, then let them slide out into a soft smile. “I look forward to it,” he responded.

He waited at the apartment complex entrance for you to pull away.

The memory of tonight would be one you cherished for a long time.

[reality-exodus]

Episode 7 1/2 pt.2

"For Duskwood?" The driver asked through the speakers and I shot up looking around "Yes... wait a moment please." I spoke up as the loud sound of the speaker woke me up from the abstracted oblivion I had sank into during the route of the bus. The bus stopped, it didn't go to Duskwood it left me in the outskirts. I took a deep breath and disembarked the vehicle. It was high time I met my, for so long, pen friends. It had been a week since Richy's early passing, I haven't been able to talk to anyone but Jake, who was filling in the group for my progress via Lilly. I didn't talk again about this subject to anyone.

I got out of the bus and my gaze fell on the magnificent forest of Duskwood. It indeed looked scary... and dark. I hadn't realized that I was staring at it insistingly until I heard a horn and shot my head to that direction to notice two familiar faces with beard. I smiled at the vision of them expecting me on the road and started walking towards where the car was. Dan got out of the car and he raised his arms up as I was approaching with my suitcase.

"M/C" He sighed and pulled me in a hug, I let out a soft chuckle and hugged him back rubbing his back. He was taller than me, nothing compared to how he was as when we first talked to each other.

"Hello Dan" I let out a sigh of relief as we both tightened the hug for some moments. "How are you?" I asked him as we broke the hug and looked at each other. Things were sort of awkward, it was normal and it didn't bother me.

"We are doing the best we can... Hopefully you will upbeat Jessy a bit. But we will have time for that" Dan sighed and picked up my suitcase and I got in the backseat.

"Hello" I greeted Thomas as he turned and looked at me from the rearview mirror.

"Hey there..." I sighed and smiled awkwardly as Dan shut the door of the car, getting in.

"So how was your trip?" Dan asked me as I put on the utility belt. You never know what happens.

"Tiring... dull." I exhaled once again taking out my phone as I felt it vibrate and blushed a bit as I saw Jake's contact popping up on my screen. "It's Jake ..." I sighed and looked at them.

The boys looked at each other and sighed. "I really do want to talk to him..." Dan huffed looking at me with the corner of his eye. In the past he told me times galore to not trust the hacker... But well who knew I fell in love with him.

I took a deep breath and slid my finger upon the screen. "Hey..." I smiled blushed looking at the camera. "Hello M/C. Are you alright?" Jake was heard, he still had the voice altering application.

"Yeah... I am with Dan and Thomas actually. They just picked me up from the bus... They are here actually." I spoke to him and there was some silence.

"Hey Hacker!" Dan exclaimed loudly to be heard.

"Daniel, Thomas" Jake was heard.

"How are you doin?" Dan asked at the same tone.

"I am good. Still working on Hannah with M/C..." Jake spoke up.

"Good... Now if you'll excuse us we are busy." Dan said rudely.

"Dan!" I exclaimed annoyed frowning at him.

"Do not worry M/C. Text me when you are available..." Jake said and finished the call before I could even say goodbye.

"Good one Dan" Thomas huffed as his expressionless face was fixed on the road.

"Yea Dan, way to go" I deadpanned as I took out my headphones in order to listen to some music.

"Don't let his ass drag you down. Here connect your phone to the car." Thomas offered trying to repair the atmosphere Dan ruined.

"Oh Thanks... I appreciate" I smiled a bit to Thomas' intention and connected my phone to his car radio and put on my music. "You are probably the rap sort of guys or Metal or Rock. Billie Eillish and Bishop Briggs won't be your type of music..." I commented.

"Well You are not worse than Jessy... she listens to Justin Bieber." Dan laughed as 'Good girls go to hell' started being heard.

The way was long and Thomas said we were going on Phil's place where both me and Jessy would stay. I had fallen asleep on the backseat. I was extremely tired from my trip and the boys closed the music to keep me sleeping as Dan said I was even snoring.

"M/C" Thomas extended his hand and shook me as I ended up laying across the seat. "Wake up, we are here." He said smoothly and I blinked my eyes open sitting up. I fixed my dress and got out of the car as we moved in the block of flats with Thomas who was helping me with my bags. Dan did not do well with Phil so Thomas would show and help me upstairs.

I knocked the door as Thomas was leaving, he waved at me as Jessy opened the door. I took a deep breath at the footsteps I heard and the door opened soon and I faced a redhead girl, she was pale, and her hazel eyes were red and swollen from the grieve and the tears. I knew it was Jessy, I could recognize her despite the blues that worn upon her petite figure. She was shorter than me but with elegant curves. She was more beautiful in real.

"Excuse you my brother is not here." Jessy spoke with a huff, her shaking voice sounded angry.

"Thank god then..."I replied "I wouldn't be that fond of his arrogance right now." I added with a sigh.

"Oh my gosh M/C" she exclaimed and hugged and I responded rubbing her back. I expected the hug and I really liked it too."Its so good to finally meet you Jess" I sighed as I placed my chin on her shoulder as she is shorter than me.

"Me too." She sniffed. "You must be tired come on in" Jessy dragged in my suitcase and closed the door behind us.

"Indeed I am, I even fell asleep at the car on our way here..." I sighed. "I am going to make something for you to eat, you change and pick a movie and I'll get the pizza, no mushrooms extra tomato sauce." Jessy said and I smiled brightly at her as I moved to the bathroom and put on my pajamas and crushed back at the couch we were sitting before. "I am ready with a film." I spoke as I set up the TV with my laptop. "What movie?" Jess was heard. "V for Vendetta" I said with a smile as I texted good night to Jake. "You can't be serious?" Jessy let out a small laugh as she poked her head to look at me. "No really that's the movie we are watching." I nodded gazing at her innocently. "Is this some sort of type you have?" she asked as she sat next to me placing the pizza and the wine on the coffee table and covered both of us with the blanket. "Is this a Jake reference?" I asked and blushed as I took the glass of red wine. "You are really smart aren't you?" she giggled and I sighed in relief as she seemed to be forgetting reality, with Richy.

I've been thinking about all day long. What he said, he heard a scream calling his name specifically, and then he recognized Hannah's voice. And then the his wide eyes staring right at me as his last breath was abandoning him. I haven't told anyone, not even Jake. The only thing I want is to find Hannah in one piece. I don't have anyone to worry or miss me... Atleast not someone who knows me. And things with Jake are really blurry but he simply denies to say anything or give me a hope...

I fell asleep on Jessy's lap during the film and I felt her stroking my hair, cover me better with the blanket and then leaving. I didn't pay much attention I was too tired for it so I let sleep take the best of me.

-

I shot my eyes open at the sound of cricking that came from the main entrance. I didn't move an inch from my position in fear... The man without a face? The governmental pursuers of Jake? I sincerely do not know which is worse. I surveyed the dark living room at Phil's place, seeking for something, an object, that I could defend myself with. I caught a glimpse of the wine bottle me and Jessy drank earlier. I extended my hand and grasped it as I fell off the couch and crawled to the hall standing by as a figure with a long coat stepped in and looked around.

I lost no time and brought with force the bottle to his head as he let out a gasp and turned around. It was too dark for me to see any features upon his face I made a move to punch him in my effort to prevent him from doing what ever he was to do to me and Jess. He grabbed my wrist and turn me around stretching my hand to my back and pinning me to the wall as he leaned his face to my face and

"My sister usually has less violent friends M/C" I heard him whisper as he breathed down my neck and stroked my waist.

"Phil Hawkins" I breath out in relief and let loose.

"In flesh" He chuckled and let go of me still holding my hand. "And you are M/C..." He spoke in realization and switched the light on and looked at me.

"Are you alright?" I asked feeling embarrassed as I was trying to calm down.

"I am but you will have to pay me back for the hospitality and my destroyed hair." Phil had a smirk upon his lips as his eyes were upon me.

"Oh of course" I nodded recovering from the embarrassment from before. "What can I do for you?" I asked politely.

"Oh many things. But how about I take you out for a drink. You can see me on duty too." Phil smiled softly.

"Sure I could ask the rest to come too." I smiled politely making an effort to avoid him.

"I was hoping for something more private but whatever makes you feel better." Phil spoke and stroked my waist discreetly and I pulled myself to drink some water.

"Um I should go and sleep, Jessy will wake me up in a few hours for... for the funeral." I stuttered and sat down "Good night Phil." I spoke and covered myself with Jessy's pink blanket.

"I would be better with you cutie but Good night" Phil waved and winked at me vanishing in the corridor.

I laid back down and closing my eyes praying that sleep will come after this scare. But it didn't so I reach for my phone

'Jake? Are you awake?'

'M/C everything alright?'

'Yes, I mean, I was sleeping Phil walked in his house and I got scared and attacked him... I am still edgy'

'I assure you are safe. Are you alright now?'

'Yea I shooed Phil to sleep and laid back down. Can you imagine I slipped away only with a cocktail date at aurora's with everyone 😊'

'Well I knew you were smart. Did he tried anything cute?'

I choked on my water as I saw the screen, I liked that he didn't bother being elegant and discreet with the question 'No I put him back in his place.' I said as the smile wouldn't leave my lips any time soon.

'You should sleep, the funeral is in three hours' He texted

'You are right, Sweet dreams Jake' I texted and placed my phone to the coffee table and heard it buzz with his reply, I didn't see it now. I wanted to see it in the morning.

[thisisthestoryofanotherus]

It’s Different 

Part 10 of Crash and Burn 

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary:  You and Ashton were never on the best of terms, maybe since you guys were so similar: sarcastic, stubborn, protective and had a true love of art. After a misunderstanding and $200 on the line, you find yourself (fake) dating the campus’ most adored (and drooled after) art student… with friendships at risk and feelings emerging it was only a matter of time until the inevitable crash and burn

A/n: This can be read by itself or part of my Ashton social media au! This is nearly 2000 words but after being gone so long figured I needed to do something to bring this series back to life. And what better way to fix this series than with a long drabble hopefully tying things together? Next part will be up Wednesday! My goal is to have this finished by the end of the year so expect frequent updates! 

Also with this title couldn’t help but this of THIS SONG (and learn more about Jae lol) that I highly recommend! 

 As always lmk what you guys think and thanks for reading! -Lydia

You had never been so out of breath from one flight of stairs, unable to control your heavy breathing as you kicked Lisa’s door as your only means of knocking. One flight of stairs should be nothing (even if you could use more time at the gym, pssshhh like that was going to happen) but going up the stairs with the balancing act of snacks filling your arms made things difficult. Kicking the door one more time, your best friend finally opened her door.

“Would you not kick down my door? Gosh-OH you brought snacks!” Lisa practically screamed. She may act like a bad bitch, but it did not take very much to make her happy. Sometimes you just needed several bags of hot cheetos and some ice cream.

“Do you see any available hands? Move! My arms feel like they’re falling off from walking with all this! You just have to live on the second floor…you just thrive on my misery don’t you?”

She giggled as she held the door open, watching as you threw the various boxes and bags across her kitchen counter. Arms finally free, you collapsed onto the floor trying to catch your breath.

“Ugh I’m gonna die” you exclaimed, stretching your arms out above you.

“So overdramatic” Lisa simply rolled her eyes, organizing the snacks you so oh graciously brought. “So what are we watching?”

“Oh I’m fine with anything” you said, quickly standing and heading over to the couch, making sure to grab a handful of items with you.

                                                 ____________

You were now 6 episodes into the latest Netflix drama and before the next intro is able to start Lisa presses pause.

“WHHHAATTT ARE YOU DOING?!!” You scream. “It was just getting good!”

“We need to talk…” Lisa says, placing the remote on the coffee table and turning face you.

“About what? What is more important than finding out-“

“Y/n….we need to talk about Ashton”

You pressed your lips together and sat up, small remnants of the junk you devoured all night falling down your shirt onto the blanket in your lap. You knew this would come up eventually, just not after a cliffhanger like this. But even that shock factor wasn’t enough to distract your friend’s curiosity. Ashton, of course she wanted to know. Lately things have been…different. It has been nearly a month of your so-called relationship with Ashton. You guys had agreed on two weeks. Two weeks tops of letting the entire campus think you guys were “dating” after he kissed you at that party, saving you from the embarrassment of having your crush all over another girl while you stood there trying not to cry. You thought this might show him what he was missing out on, but the irony is you never even saw (or thought) much of Jae anymore.

Instead your time was spent almost exclusively with Ashton, not that you’d ever admit that. Both of you looking for small excuses to spend more time together. Something needed to be done with the project, studying for class, getting coffee, just wanting to see each other… All leading to hours of just enjoying the others company. The random drives to new restaurants he wanted to try, his dumb jokes, his smile, the way he would stay close, often grabbing your hand, all for show of course until his small touches became something natural… Now, it was weird if he didn’t grab onto your hand or pull you closer, even if you were sitting alone on the couch at his place watching a movie or painting. After the two-week mark, neither of you acknowledged this deadline. As you were approaching three weeks neither of you pulled away or called this off…whatever this was. Because honestly you had no idea. Any outsider believed you guys were the happy couple you pretended to be. In reality you knew this was nothing but pretend, but it felt so real. You almost wished he completely ignored you when he wasn’t forced to put on a show. Maybe then you wouldn’t be lost in this idea that maybe you guys were actually together.

The lines were becoming blurred, more obscure with every moment. Like last night. You didn’t notice the time as you both were crouched over your project, enamored in the painting to notice the sun had long gone down. Ashton refused to let you wander the campus at 4am to get to your place. Said you could just crash in his spare room. You didn’t miss how his hand lingered a little to long against your own as he handed you some clothes. How his bright eyes seemed to be screaming something as he gazed at you…saying something he refused to say aloud, before quickly saying goodnight and leaving the room. How sweet he was the next morning…waking you up with promises of pancakes and waffles from the café down the street.

With moments like this… you had no idea where you stood. How were you going to explain this to even your best friends when you didn’t know yourself?

“What’s going on between you guys y/n?” she asked you. Voice free of judgement, just concern.

“I-…..I don’t know” You sighed, lying back against the couch.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” She asked, placing her hand on you shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything. And I know there’s more going on than what you’re telling me-“

“Honestly Lisa nothing has happened! Without all of this I see him all the time between classes and our project..”

“Y/n you have known him since freshman year… meaning you have had dozens of classes together with him and you never saw him this much. I mean sure there was the whole ‘I hate you Ashton Irwin’ thing but-“

You laughed at this. If someone would have told you a month ago you would be “dating” you long term enemy you would have told them they were on crack. No one, especially you, would have expected the two people who couldn’t even be in the same room as each other without arguing would end up spending nearly every second together. Did you still find him infuriatingly annoying? Of course. BUT you also couldn’t help the feelings you had for him freshman year from slowly creeping yet again into your heart. And that was the most frustrating part of it all. Because just like back then, this was all bound to blow up in your face.

“Look Lisa you’re right. Things are different. Even more so than when he kissed me that night-and before you ask yes it was just the one time. I just don’t know how to explain it…it’s almost like it was back then when he was just there. Always. How I craved his company during the few instances he wasn’t there and just lost myself in him…but now it’s so much more complicated… I don’t know where we stand and I don’t want to know because once I do I know it’s me who’s going to be hurt.”

“Y/n that’s what I was afraid of when you said you were doing this. Last time you guys were this close it ended up with him hooking up with Chelsea and you heartbroken in bed for days. I don’t want to see you go through that again.”

You looked up at your best friend. Really you did not deserve her. Seeing the love and concern in her eyes made you feel the start of tears in your own.

“Give me some credit. I’m much more mature than I was back then…”

“Mmhmm. Says the same person who recommended this be a Disney marathon.” Lisa said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey! You are never too old for Disney movies” you laughed, hitting her shoulder.

“Just be careful ok?” She said giving you a serious look. You nodded and she picked up the remote pressing play once again.

                                              _____________

 You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. Wondering who dare disturb you after staying up all night finishing season one of your new favorite show. About to turn the phone off, you found yourself sliding the answer button when you saw the word Ashton flash across your screen.

“Hello?” You said, voice quiet yet obviously laced with sleep as you turned to Lisa making sure she was still asleep.

“Are you still sleeping? You do realize it’s passed noon right? Even if it is Saturday” Ashton said sarcastically. You could nearly see his smirk you’d bet he had on right now.

“Shut up had a late night. What do you want?”

“You and Lisa party hard with them movies or what?” he chuckled. “Are you home? I forgot some of my brushes at your place and I need them.”

“And here I thought you missed my voice. Fine. I’m not home yet though give me a bit-“

“I have to drive over to your place anyway. I’ll pick you up. Give me like 10 minutes.”

“Well okay then…” you said to yourself as you stared at your now blank screen.

Sure enough ten minutes later you were climbing into the passenger seat of Ashton’s car.

“Good morning beautiful” Ashton teased.

“Shut up” You said, hoping your blush didn’t show just how affected you were by those words, even if he was obviously joking. I mean-your hair was a mess, clothes disheveled from sleeping in them and you barely had time to swish some mouth wash in your mouth to appear somewhat human.

Ashton simply chuckled instead of replying as he pulled the car into drive.

As you walked to your apartment you felt the familiar grasp of Ashton’s hand in your own. And when you reached your door, you couldn’t miss the small pout he had when you let go of his hand to search for your keys.

“I meant to take your brushes with me yesterday, even moved them over here…” You said, walking over to your shelf as Ashton locked your door. You crouched down, opening the bottom drawer searching for the bag you put his stuff in. “Ah! Found them!” You exclaimed as you quickly stood up, turning to show the prize in your hands.

However, you did not realize he was behind you, and just how close you turning around made you guys. Maybe it was the surprise of finding him right next to you. Maybe it was your sleep deprived state. Regardless you found yourself unable to move, breath escaping your lungs as you simply just stared up at him. His hazel eyes shining with the same question he had the last time. Your hand against his chest, his against your hip. You both slowly moving closer together, eyes moving from his deep gaze to his lips…

As quickly as it started, whatever trance you found yourself in abruptly ended with the sound of your phone ringing. You both jumped away from each other, surprise in both your expressions.

“I-um…should get that” You said, quickly grabbing your phone off the counter.

“Ya um, thanks for letting me get my things…I have this project...I’ll umm catch you later?” He said, running a hand through his hair and already walking towards the door.

“Sure” you said with a forced smile, answering the call of your best friend who no doubt was mad you left without telling her anything.

He gave you a small wave, closing the door behind him.

You released the breath you didn’t know you were holding as your friend screamed “where the fuck did you go?!”

[hotxhocolate]

MY WIZARDS EXPERIENCE

A COMPILATION BC I'M TOO LAZY TO SEPARATE THIS SHIT

P.S. Spoilers(?) Ahead P.P.S. THIS IS REALLY LONG SO HONESTLY DON'T WASTE UR TIME JUST WANT TO GET THIS ALL OUT

Episode 1

Douxie is precious. I'd give my life for him love him.

Archie the little shit. I love him.

THE OPENING SEQUENCE!!! BROOOOO

Jim u unfotunate bb

GIVE JIM A BREAK!!!

Merlin ur so useless sometimes i h8 u

NARI BB I LOVE U I'M ADOPTING U U PRECIOUS CHILD

GIVE DOUXIE AND CLAIRE THE STAFFS THEY DESERVE!!!

THE END CREDITS!!!!!!!!!

Episode 2

FREE JIM!!!

DON'T KILL JIM!!!

SAVE JIM!!!

POWERFUL CLAIRE 😍

GLOWY EYES CLAIRE 😍😍😍

MORGANA I KNOW U TRIED TO KILL MY BABIES IN TROLLHUNTERS BUT I LOVE U UR GORGEOUS

Arthur u suck

... douxie that was yourself

douxie u suck at blending in but i still love u

oh God steve why

u fucking look alike ofc u'd say that

YES FREE JIM!

drunk steve :')))

rapper steve :')))

Merlin during that part when the trolls escape Camelot lol same

POWERFUL CLAIRE!!!

GLOWY EYES CLAIRE!!!!!

trollhunter squad -1 being saved by their enemies lol

Episode 3

I do not like glowy eyes jim

morgana gwen gay

HOLY SHIT POWERFUL CLAIRE 😍

i wanted u two (morgana and claire) to be friends :'(((

HOLY SHIT ARTHUR WAS THE ONE WHO CUT MORGANA'S HAND OFF

AHSAKAJSKAJ MORGANA DEAD???

Episode 4

AGAKAJAAJ BLINKY

NIMUE!!!

TIME TO SEE WHICH NIMUE THEORY IS TRUE

AAARRRGGHH!!!

WITCH CLAIRE! POWERFUL CLAIRE! U AMAZING GIRL I LOVE U! U CAN OPEN THAT SHADOW PORTAL!

TEACHER DOUXIE :')))) I LOVE U

no nimue theory is true (or maybe there's a true theory out there but the ones i have read aren't)

IT'S THE THINGY!!! (and by thingy i'm referring to that netflix screensaver?/sneakpeek?/thingy)

Douxie freeing Nimue and receiving excalibur

Ur an amazing person Douxie and i love u

Jim & Morgana parallel???

OoO IT WAS NARI WHO GAVE MORGANA THE HAND

history's going alright in my pov

Episode 5

MORGANA GETTING HER GOLD ARMOUR GEAR THINGY!!! (me: 😍)

MORE TEACHER DOUXIE HIHI!!!

SHIT CLAIRE GET OUT OF THERE

>:((( merlin listen to them

steve and food hihi (same)

oh God steve

steve calling for eli :'(((

IS CALLISTA GONNA BE DEYA?!!!

CALLISTA DEFINITELY IS DEYA

CLAIRE IS BEING THE AWESOME QUEEN SHE IS AGAIN I LOVE HER

U GO GIRL

creepslayerz :'))) i miss eli

past douxie u dork i love u

Episode 6

AAAAAAAA VENDEL

Jim & Claire reunion 😍

draal i missed u :'(((

TROLL DADS ORIGIN HIHI

IF THEY KILL JIM I SWEAR

THE AMULET OF DAYLIGHT ORIGINS HIHI

where's kanjigar?

decimaar blade >:(((

coach steve HIHIHI i love him

Jim and Claire date hihi they're so soft my bbs

:'((((

jim... claire's always been an awesome wizard

THE AMULET ORIGINS!!!

DOUXIE AND MERLIN WORKING TOGETHER TO CREATE IT :')))

DOUXIE FINALLY GETS THE STAFF HE DESERVES YIEEEEE!!!

CALLISTA TROLLHUNTER!

pre-trollhunters draal >:(((

THE TROLL DADS 🥺

BLINKY U GAY SHIT

ALSO AAARRRGGHH!!! HAD A NOSE RING WHAT A CUTIE

YIEEEEEE CAL IS DEYA I KNEW IT!!!

AJA MENTION!!!

Episode 7

IT'S THE BATTLE OF KILAHEAD!!!

PLS DON'T KILL JIM HUHU

gosh merlin u useless shit douxie's doing all the hard work

DEYA WHERE DAFUQ R U

OH NO LANCELOT

OH NO ARTHUR

OH HE ACTUALLY DIES HERE AND IT'S NOT GONNA MESS WITH TIME ALRIGHT NO PROBLEM

DEYA! TROLLMARKET! WHERE R U

THERE THEY ARE WHAT TOOK YA'LL SO LONG

WHERE'S THE DAYLIGHT ARMOUR???

OH THERE IT IS

DOUXIE TURNING HIS STAFF INTO A GUITAR THE ABSOLUTE CUTIE

don't worry doux i think it's amazing

DOUXIE U DORK I LOVE U

U CAN DEFEAT MORGANA WITH THE POWER OF MUSIC I BELIEVE IN U !!!

DOUXIE AND HIS OBSESSION WITH FIRE HIHI

IT'S THE QUOTE (ALTHOUGH JUST PART OF IT) BUT STILL !!!

IF U THINK I DIDN'T RECITE IT ALONG WITH DEYA

(disappointed she didn't get to say it so i'll say it for her) DON'T THINK !!! BECOME !!!

DEYA MY GURL I'M SO PROUD OF U

I LOVE MY TROLL DADS

JIM PLS DON'T DIE :'(((((

where's steve? where dafuq is steve? did ya'll leave him? HOY DON'T LEAVE HIM

oh jk he's there

hihi past douxie hihi

Episode 8

JIM NO DON'T DIE HUHU

NARI U PRECIOUS CHILD 😍

PROTECC NARI

DOUXIE AND HIS MAGIC GUITAR I LOVE HIM

WTF NO JIM!!! HUHU

NOOOO JIM

AYSJAHSKAHA IT'S KREL HIHI

her name's zoe !!!

soooooo who exactly is zoe

"we're closed to privileged arthurian toolbags" ok i love zoe

wizard underground hihi

HAVE I ALREADY SAID HOW MUCH I LOVE NARI HIHI

WTF DID THEY DO TO JIM GRRR

FREE JIM !!! SAVE JIM !!!

OH NO THEY FUCKING BROKE THE AMULET AGAIN

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BREAKING THE AMULET

WHY DOES IT KEEP FUCKING BREAKING

MORGANA!!!

MORGANA JOINS TEAM GOOD ???!!!

HOLY CRAP WHO DAFUQ IS THE GREEN NIGHT

IS IT ARTHUR? BUT HE'S DEAD ???

PROTECT NARI HIHI I LOVE HER

but gdi merlin

YES!!! SAVE JIM!!!

so ... who is pretending to be nari

is it archie???

yep! it is archie

NARI I LOVE HER

PRECIOUS

gdi merlin we're not leaving without claire and jim

CHANGE JIM BACK FREE JIM SAVE JIM HUHU WTF DID THEY DO TO JIM

fucking shit morgana i want u in team good stop being team bad

IT'S ARTHUR HOLY FUKC

HOLY SHIT MERLIN DEAD ???

i h8 merlin but shit bro why'd u kill him huhu

GLOWY EYES DOUXIE 😍

POWERFUL DOUXIE 😍

GO BOI

MERLIN ALIVE ???

"i'll try to make u proud" "you already have" :'((( no i'm not crying u r

SON???!!! HAHA(?) I KNEW IT???

BUT WHY WOULD CALL UR DAD MASTER??? WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP KINKY SHIT???

Episode 9

hihi past douxie

douxie u cheater

AH JK FATHER FIGURE NOT REAL FATHER alrightz

doux :'((((

i mean i'm not super sad bc i don't really like merlin but still

IS THAT A GOOD MORGANA I SEE hihihi

FREE JIM :'((((

nari i love u

NO JIM'S ALIVE I BELIEVE

noooo don't bake douxie into a blood pie i love him

did charlemagne the devourer just make a pun

charlemagne is archie's dad lol i didn't expect that

charlie

lol this is gonna take a long time

TEAM GOOD MORGANA !!!!!

HIHI MORGANA I'M PROUD OF U

CLAIRE AND MORGANA BFFS lol

BB ARCHIE THAT'S SO CUTE

DOUXIE!!!

THE CLAIRE MORGANA DUO HIHI

Episode 10

Last ep huhu

krel my boi !!!

nari bb :'(((

krel precious

douxie hihi my boi !!! U SMART BOI I LOVE U

YES U ARE STRONG ENOUGH HISIRDOUX CASPERAN I LOVE U

he trapped them in a time loop i love him

douxie and his guitar i love him

NARI HIHI UR SO PRECIOUS I LOVE U

THAT'S MY BOI DOUXIE I LOVE U

OH NO DON'T KILL DOUXIE

DOUXIE PLS DON'T DIE

AHSKAJSKSJA PURPLE EYED CLAIRE OMG GURL I LOVE U

GLOWY EYED PURPLE EYED CLAIRE !!!!

OH NO DID THEY KILL MORGANA

DID MORGANA DIE ?????

OH NO DON'T KILL CLAIRE

CLAIRE PLS DON'T DIE

MORGANA DEAD :'(((

WHY DO THEY KEEP KILLING PPL HUHU

stop it

STOP BREAKING MY HEART

JIM ALIVE!!!!

IT'S MY BLUE EYED BABY BOI

OH NO JIM DEAD :'(((( i'm literally sobbing right now huhu NOOOO

U CAN'T DO THIS WTF HUHU

AHAAJJAJAAJ TEAR!!!

AHSKAJAKAKAKA JIM ALIVE!!!!

JIM HUMAN!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OH NO DOUXIE NO

DON'T DIE DOUXIE HUHU

YES SAVE DOUXIE!!!! CATCH DOUXIE!!!

OH NO FUCK DOUXIE DEAD TT

DOUXIE ALIVE!!!

or douxie dead??? i'm confused

MHM DOUXIE WHY R U THERE GO BACK TOT THE LAND OF THE LIVING

LOL DOUXIE NOT FOLLOWING MERLIN'S INSTRUCTIONS I LOVE HIM

WTF DOUXIE DEAD???!!! I DISAGREE

YES!!! DOUXIE ALIVE !!!!!!!!!

JIM HUMAN I'M SO HAPPY!!!!

JIM EYEBROW SCAR??? OMG!!!

JIM WIELD EXCALIBUR???

OR NOT???

TALES OF ARCADIA: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

no douxie nari don't go away huhu i'm gonna miss u

DOUXIE AND NARI IN A BIG CITY IS THAT NEW YORK OR SMTH

WHERE R THEY???

BUT WBT EXCALIBUR???

AND THE ARCANE ORDER???

SEASON 2???

it's a limited series tho so maybe not huhu

[damnzawa]

A THOUSAND MILES — TOSHINORI YAGI

Whoop whoop, Dad Might in the house! Also this is my first request so I hope I didn't disappoint lmao. Requested by @velkhanaisbae !!

Warning(s): Angst(?), Plus Ultra Fluff i think, also no romance in this, just family love

—

6:50 pm.

He was late.

You sighed as you stared at your watch, waiting for someone you've been wanting to see ever since you've landed in Japan. He promised he'd be there, he even promised he wouldn't be late, but you knew better. You knew, he couldn't even keep his promises to you for even one second but what could you do? You knew his job was far more important than you. You knew, so all you had to do was understand.

Missed your birthday? Understandable, it was just you being one year closer to death anyways. No biggie.

Missed your graduation? It's ok, he saved tons of lives during that time. The graduation ceremony was boring anyway.

Missed the entirety of your whole life? Well, that was something you couldn't live with.

And that is why, you moved to Japan. You hoped that moving to Japan will hopefully erase some of the distance between you and your father. You hoped that moving to Japan will help you learn about each other and bond, you know? Like what fathers and their child typically do. You even hoped he'd come to the surfing spot you've been wanting to go to for ages.

Sighing once again, you hoped he felt the same way.

"Y/n!" A voice called out to you. Quickly recognizing the voice you've been waiting to hear, you turned your head towards the direction where it came from.

And lo and behold, you finally saw the face of your dad.

The (former) number one hero of Japan, and the symbol of peace; Toshinori Yagi, known by everyone as All Might. The fearless hero, the hero everyone-well not everyone-aspired to be.

Smiling, you quickly dragged your luggage as you spotted him in the crowd. He looked thinner than he used to be and that worried you a lot. Was he not taking care of himself? Does he not eat regularly? Oh gosh, you're definitely taking care of him, no doubt. Even if he doesn't want you to.

"Dad!" You exclaimed, tackling him into a hug out of excitement. He stumbled for a bit before quickly regaining his balance and hugging you back. His warmth was very inviting, his hug was as warm as home. In conclusion, the best hug you've gotten. The hug you've been wanting in your whole life.

"I'm sorry I was late, kiddo. Had to take care of some things at U.A." Oh right, he was a teacher now too.

"Don't worry Dad. I don't mind." You flashed him a smile. "So, a teacher huh? You might need a 'Teaching for Dummies 101' book or something. Knowing you Dad, you suck at teaching." You teased him making him scratch the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Wait, don't tell me-"

"I actually got one." He confessed making you burst out laughing. He seriously got one? If that ain't cute, you don't know what is.

"It's ok, dad." You were about to say something when your stomach grumbled making you blush in embarassment.

Now it was your father's turn to chuckle. "Alright kiddo. I know a diner not far away from here." Nodding your head, you let your father drag away your luggage as you two talked throughout the entire way.

—

A few days passed since you landed in Japan, you've been living in your Dad's apartment and let's just say it isn't what you expected.

What you expected was he actually lived in the apartment, but no, apparently kids at U.A. got attacked a lot of times teachers — and students — need to live in dorms for protection and security. You ended up being alone for 5 days.

Thankfully though, weekend is here! Which means, your dad was going home.

Gosh, you've been wanting to take him to the surfing spot for days, and now you finally have the chance!

You packed up everything you guys needed, and a picnic too. You made all the food he said he loved and a few of his favorite desserts too. You hoped he'll like what you planned for the two of you. You also hoped that he'll enjoy and relax for once.

You texted him, asking what time he will come back home as you patiently waited for him. Deciding to watch some silly show to pass the time.

By the time you reached the 3rd episode, you realized that it was nearing noon now and you've completely forgotten about the day you planned with your dad. Immediately grabbing your phone, you smiled when you noticed your dad replied. But the smile quickly faded when you saw his message.

From: Dad Might

To: Y/n

I'm afraid I won't come home today, Kiddo. I'm busy training Young Midoriya this weekend. I hope you'll do fine by yourself! I love you.

You understood, you really do. Hearing how that boy — his successor — broke a lot of bones just by inheriting your Dad's quirk was scary. You didn't even know bones were supposed to repeatedly break like that.

But... deep inside you heart broke.

Deep inside you envied Midoriya and his breaking bome curse. You envied the students at U.A. for having to see your Dad 24/7.

Deep inside, you knew you just had to understand.

Guess, you just had to go there by yourself.

From: Y/n

To: Dad Might

It's ok, Dad! Kick butt out today! Well, preferably not Midoriya's. Love you too.

—

The surfing spot was amazing. The waves were perfect, as well as it's temperature. The place was not crowded too! Just the way you like it. The only problem was... the corals and rocks you seemingly just scrape into everytime which causes a lot of cuts — hopefully not all of them are deep — and bruises. You try your best to keep them from your Dad, not wanting to worry him but with all the bandages, you knew it was hard to keep this a secret.

Little did you know, your father was much more observant than you know. Of course he was. He's a fucking pro-hero. Well retired. But still, he's a hero.

It almost killed him seeing you come home with numerous bandages on different parts of your body. At first, he brushed it off as you being clumsy because he distinctly remember you were such a klutz when you were young. But when the bandages grew in number, he knew something was wrong.

Millions of bad thoughts filled his mind quickly, who has the audacity to do that to his child? To his loved one?

"Y/n, are you ok?" Your father asked while you were preparing dinner. You turned to him, confused as to why he was asking that.

"I'm a-ok, Dad." You sent him a comforting smile before returning your attention to making dinner. "What made you ask?"

"The bandages." Your father simply said, making you freeze. Damn, you knew he would know sooner than later. "Why didn't you tell me, kiddo?"

"I-It's not a big deal, to be honest Dad." You faced him as you replied and you can clearly see the worry in his eyes. "Really. You don't have to worry about me, Dad. I'm an adult now."

"I have to worry about you. You're my kid." He sighed. "Who is it? Who did this to you?"

Wait, what?

Did your Dad think you were being abused?

"No! Dad! It's not like that, I promise!" You replied, waving your arms making an X with them.

"No, Y/n. You can trust me. Who is it?"

"Dad! I promise, it's not like that! I..." You took a deep breath. "I have been going to this surfing spot not far from here every weekend and it's perfect! The only problem is uh... I get cut on corals and rocks and whatnot everytime I surf. It's just me being clumsy, I guess?" You explained then placed your hand on top of his in a comforting manner. "Really, Dad. That's all there is. I'm not being hurt by someone. Plus, if they do, I can protect myself and I guess I have an awesome Dad that can kick their butts too."

"Still, why didn't you tell me Kiddo? I could've help bandaging those or went with you."

"I... you were just so busy all the time I couldn't find the chance to ask you and..." Oh gosh, you could feel the waterworks coming. "...and you just look tired all the time and I don't wanna burden you. Plus, I feel... I feel... like there's a distance between us. I don't know if it's because we've been apart for so long or we just don't click or I don't know but I just feel like you're a thousand miles away from me and I hate that." You started to ugly cry now making your father stand up from his seat and stand infront of you.

"I just... it's just me being silly, I guess. Don't mind me, Dad." You tried to laugh it off and wipe the tears on your face. But everytime you do, new set of tears just cascade down, sobs coming out of your mouth.

"No, no. Kiddo. It's not you being silly... it's me being a bad dad." Your eyes widened at his response but before you could even protest he started talking again. "I never knew you felt those things. I never asked and I never even tried to. I've been a bad dad to you so far. I chose my work over my family and I've been absent in your life. You're not a burden, you never were. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me and i'm grateful the heavens gave something like you to me. Even though I'm not around often, nor say it often, I love you, Kiddo. Don't you ever forget that." This just made you cry even more. You hugged him tight, never wanting to let go as you realized the distance was erased now. He was no longer a thousand miles away from you, no, he no longer was. Instead, he was standing next to you with that big smile of his.

"I am here, Kiddo. I am here now."

You guys stayed like that for a while, only breaking apart when you realized you both burned your dinner.

"Wanna order pizza instead?"

"You know me so well, Dad."

—

"I can see why you like it here, it's so peaceful and beautiful." Your dad commented as you both reached your destination.

"It is." You replied, making him smile. "Now let's go Dad! Let's hit the waves!" You quickly got your board and ran towards the water making your father chuckle.

"Don't worry, Kiddo. I'm right here beside you."

Oh boy, let's just say your Dad earned more cuts and bruises than you. Who knew someone as mighty as him suck at surfing?

[deadmomjokes]

For me, part of being asexual means that I get really, REALLY grouchy about a lot of romance in media. Rather, the obsession with romance, sex, and sexuality in media. I am that person that will roll my eyes and turn off a movie if it looks like it’s turning into some steamy nonsense, and I will never willingly sit through a romcom even if you paid me. Sex scenes? I’m out. Passionate kissing? Peace, I’m going to the kitchen, want anything? Call me back when the actual story gets back on. Ridiculous ‘ooh they have such SEXUAL TENSION and chemistry, let’s see how close we can get to making them kiss and just have them breathe heavily in each others faces to get our audience all bothered’? I will end you all. I HATE when books or movies or shows throw in a romantic or sexy subplot just for the lols, at least what I perceive as the lols. Basically, a romance has to be really super duper well-crafted for me to get behind it and not be just utterly enraged or completely turned off from the story.

(Also please note that when I use the term romance in this context, I’m using it as a catch all for ship-based storylines that, due to our culture’s obsession with sex, usually include or hinge on sex or kissy scenes.)

That being said. When a romance is done well, and I mean really well, I absolutely 100% lose my mind. I feel that mess in my soul.

So with that introduction, allow me to lay out a few of my favorite (and, in some instances, most maddeningly painful) romances/canon ships in media.

(read more because I went off. like I said, I feel this way too deeply when it’s done well.)

Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric in FMA:B. Slow burn, mutual pining, mutual cluelessness, what’s not to love? So soft and tender and funny all at the same time, and the mad respect Ed has for Winry is absolutely delightful. She does her own thing, and he’s totally supportive, just as she is of him. And a happily ever after??? UGH, I can’t, it’s perfect. The most straightforward and least convoluted of my whole list, and it’s comparatively easy to breeze through. FMA:B is great anyhow, so do yourself a favor and go watch it.

Audrey Parker/ Nathan Wuornos in Haven (with major caveats). Caveats first: they went overboard with the sexy stuff in my opinion. It got too smutty for me, but my tolerance for that stuff is super low, and it did still air on TV, so evidently it wasn’t as bad for the target audience as it was for my sex-in-media-repulsed self. I also find the final seasons to get a bit stale and repetitive in terms of them trying to advance the love story narrative (all the plot points for it got addressed in earlier episodes/seasons, so why are we going over it again??). They also have a bit of an issue in some episodes with dragging out conflicts because the characters just won’t talk to each other like adults. But overall, taken as a whole, it hits hard. Again, we have a slow burn, mutual pining dynamic that starts as a genuine platonic friendship, and transforms into a dimension and time defying chosen soulmates love story for the ages. The things they would do to save each other, even if it means they can never be together, just so they have the joy of knowing that their beloved is okay. The tiny ways they take care of each other- Audrey testing Nathan’s coffee to see if it’s too hot, Nathan slowing down so he doesn’t out-pace her, it’s just adorable.

Faramir and Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings BOOKS. This is an interesting one because it happens really quickly and between two minor characters. But Tolkien did this really interesting thing where he established these two characters separately, and then brought them together and played off what we knew about each of them in context of everything else that had happened with the main story, and suddenly it has, as one of my professors would say, “the illusion of depth.” Faramir absolutely falls head over heels for Eowyn but won’t act until she can deal with her own crap and be emotionally available. Eowyn realizes that she was hung up on ideals, illusions, and false dichotomies. Faramir has been through a lot and is looking for peace. Eowyn is looking for who she really is when she realizes she has more than two choices in life. They find healing together, and in the process, find what they were looking for in each other. And all that happens in the space of, like, 4 pages. I LOVE IT.

Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill in Stargate SG1. This one will hurt you to no end. You will hate life. But gosh dang if they aren’t perfect. This is the slowest burn and most mutual pining of all slow burn mutual pining ships to ever grace media. I’m talking 8 seasons of these two sharing feelings but being unable to express it for one reason or another. What are those reasons, you ask? Jack is her superior and respects her too much to put her in that position. No fraternization on the team. Sam has career aspirations, he won’t ruin her life. He’s got his own issues to work through and knows he isn’t emotionally available. Sam is clueless for a while, then when she realizes she has feelings for him but it couldn’t be because of their work dynamic and because he’s still dealing with his own crap, she tries to move on but keeps coming back to the unspoken fact that she still loves him. To the point that she breaks off her own engagement to a great guy because she realizes she was only trying to move on-- and wasn’t successful. They are clearly in deep for each other, and yet they keep making excuses why they can’t say it.

In the whole series, they never officially get together, and I HATE THAT. There are multiple alternate realities and timelines where they are together, and happy, but in the main timeline, they can’t get over themselves, and it hurts so bad because they’re so perfect. Jack knows she’s the smartest person in the room, and he supports her and defends her and listens to and defers to her. He respects her first as an expert, then as a colleague, and then as a woman whom he deeply loves even though he can’t find it in him to love himself. She appreciates his experience and leadership, and trusts him implicitly. She knows she’s got more book smarts, but relies on his judgement and ability to remain calm under pressure. She also knows she can be real with him, and he knows that when she calls him on his BS he better listen. She is his conscience, and he is her backbone. And in between episodes where they’re clearly pining for each other, and even during, they’re really great friends and a great team. I could seriously write an essay on why this ship is both perfect and intensely frustrating, but then again, you could just watch a great and classic series and see what I mean for yourself. (Then you’d also get to meet the perfection that is Teal’c, and watch Daniel Jackson’s transition from Milo Thatch in Space to sassy beefcake demigod who still loves archaeology.)

Beren and Luthien, Tolkien part 2, electric boogaloo. A love so powerful it transcends death, fate, hell and heaven all at once. It’s kind of wild and not what you’d expect if you’ve only read LotR (or only seen the movies), because it’s more a classic fairy tale than anything, but hot dang if it isn’t still one of the most powerful, moving, deeply impactful love stories in all of writing. It’s even a “love at first sight” narrative and I STILL fall hard for it. This story legit moves me to tears every dang time I read it, or even think about it too hard.

It starts as a simple “forbidden love” story, but these two loved each other so much that they defied one of the most powerful kings in all the world at that time (who was also Luthien’s dad, oopsies), defied Satan himself and marched into Hell just for the chance to be together, and then changed the very way the world works forever just so they could stay together and not be parted. Luthien is a total BEAST, while never giving up her gentle, loving, and tender nature. For the love of this man, she defies her father’s wishes and breaks herself out of her own dang tower to go rescue her prince instead of the other way round, she sends Sauron (yeah, he’s here too!) scurrying with his tail between his legs, wrecks his house, and frees all his slaves and prisoners just to try and get to Beren, drags his butt out of heck part 1, then willingly walks into literal, actual Hell with him and proceeds to enchant Satan and all the demons within. Then she gets her bf outta there after he loses his hand, and goes back to face her father unafraid. Basically, Beren undertakes a literally impossible task just for the chance to be with Luthien, but Luthien is the one that makes it happen because she loves him too much to sit around knowing he’s going to die. She’s willing to die with him rather than live without him, but more willing to dare death to come at her and get some because ain’t no way she’s losing him.

Then, at the last, when all should have been their happily ever after, everything goes wrong and she loses her beloved, and instead of mourning forever, she yeets off her mortal coil out of pure “Oh no you didn’t, not after all we went through” just to go stand before the God of Fate and the Dead and plead with him to change the rules of the universe itself just so that she can be with Beren. And he does it, because their love is so strong. Just for them, all of existence is rewritten so that they might never be parted.

And if you don’t think that’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, consider also: these two crazy kids were so wonderful that the Goodest Boy in all the world, a functionally immortal and super-intelligent dog sent from heaven itself by a literal god, willingly turned on all his masters and spontaneously learned intelligent speech just so he could help them out and be their Good Boy til the bitter end, thus (in Tolkien’s mythos) starting the whole “man’s best friend” thing with dogs. So yeah. And, uh, Tolkien based it on him and his wife, to the point of ripping their first meeting frame-for-frame from real life. It’s too much y’all.

Anyhow, this post is way, way too long, but I was just feeling the need to get that out there. Maybe I’ll have more in the future, but for now, this is what was on my mind. Particularly the last two.

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 39

39: Home

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by:  Paris Barclay

Overall Thoughts: Here we have yet another season one episode that I basically totally forgot about, and which I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I would. There’s actually a lot more that I like about this episode than things I dislike, which really surprised me considering I placed it pretty low in my pre-watch ranking. I feel like all I remembered of this episode was the Will storyline, and somehow forgot all the amazing Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn, and Finn stuff. It really is an amazing episode. Although it might also just be that it seems that way when compared to “The Power of Madonna”.

What I Like:

The start of Burt and Carole’s relationship! I don’t know whose idea it was to have these two get together, but I honestly want to bake them a cake.

Literally everything about Mercedes in this episode makes my heart sing. Her struggle is so palpable and real that it’s almost painful to watch. I teared up so many times during her scenes because I’ve felt that. I’ve felt that a thousand times over. Having attention drawn to it, showing how a bigger woman can love her body but still feel insecure and be willing to give into societal pressure is one of the most honest and heart wrenching stories Glee ever tackled, and unlike some of their later topic episodes, this one is handled perfectly. Bravo.

Having the person who brings Mercedes down from the edge be Quinn. It would have been so easy to stick Kurt, or Puck, or even Finn or Artie in there to give her a pep talk and remind her of how beautiful and wonderful she is, but they didn’t. And not only did they have Quinn come in, but they also let Mercedes tell her point-blank that Quinn is thin and fits the typical standards of beauty. It’s just a wonderful scene. I also really enjoy the contrast of Quinn saying “you are beautiful Mercedes”, compared to Artie saying “you know we like you no matter how you look”. With Artie’s, it sounds like “we can look past the fact that you’re fat. You’re beautiful despite being fat”. With Quinn, it’s just “you’re beautiful” point blank. Mercedes is beautiful because of her size, not in spite of it.

“You were conceived on a pinball machine” they really should have given Carole more comedic moments oh my gosh.

“You two have dead spouses, maybe you should talk” Kur you little shit.

Brittany and Santana linking pinkies and Santana leaning her head on Brittany’s shoulder. They’re so goddamn gay it makes me so happy.

Burt and Finn bonding. I’ve always felt it strange that Glee wanted to portray Will as the father figure that Finn never had, when Burt was literally right there and a much better role model for the guy.

Kurt apologizing to Mercedes at the end of the episode. It’s nice to see him like that, because it shows once again that even though Kurt can get really into himself and his wants and ambitions, he can also take a step back and realize how what he’s done has affected others. He’s the perfect blend of selfish and self-less, and it makes for a really compelling character.

The scene where Tina and Artie and Rachel and Jesse turn into food. It’s honestly hilarious, even if the context is upsetting.

No Rachel storyline! I think it’s one of, like, three episodes in all of Glee that doesn’t have a Rachel storyline. It actually is kind of refreshing. Plus, it shows that a Finn storyline that doesn’t center around the three hundred girls who want to have his babies is actually pretty interesting. Honestly, I always found Rachel and Finn’s storylines a lot more interesting when the other person wasn’t involved, or it didn’t center around a romantic interest. It’s a shame there were so few like that.

Burt calling Kurt out for setting him up with Carole and then getting upset when he started bonding with Finn. “Didn’t you do it to make me happy?” Even though I don’t think it fully got through, I do think Kurt needed to hear that.

Carole shutting down Finn’s pity party by reminding him that he didn’t even know his father. Something Finn does a lot that I’ve only noticed with this re-watch is that when something difficult happens to him, and that thing affects a woman in his life as well, he makes it all about himself. It’s so hard on him, he’s so stressed out, nobody wants to help him because they’re so focused on her. Meanwhile the show actually does focus on him, and the woman, who is usually suffering a lot more than he is, gets sidelined. It happened with Quinn’s pregnancy, and it’s happening now. I think it really shows the importance of having adult characters who are actually adults influencing these kids lives. Carole is able to tell Finn without any hesitation that his father’s death has been infinitely harder on her than it was on him, and that he needs to stop playing the victim and acting like she is the one being insensitive to his feelings. This is a message that characters like Will or Emma would never be able to get across, and it’s actually a great, emotional scene.

What I Don’t Like:

Once again, April sings three songs in this episode. She’s a guest star, and I get that she’s amazing, but it really does feel excessive.

Will’s storyline is a little boring. He never seems to be able to do anything without a woman who is attracted to him helping him pave out his path. He can’t come to any realizations on his own, and it’s starting to get really frustrating. Neither Emma or Terri are in this episode, so the role of Will’s Keeper falls onto April. It’s just annoying that this guy who is supposed to be this amazing leader and motivator literally can’t get his life together without someone there to help him glue the pieces together. While I understand needing help every now and then, it feels like the only purpose of any of the female characters that are interested in Will is to make his life easier and better.

Kurt is actually quite frustrating in this episode. First of all, setting up your dad with your crush’s mom is really fucking stupid. It’s not going to make you closer, it’s going to make you family. Ew. Secondly, he was really selfish in doing it, and Burt was right to call him out on that. As soon as things aren’t going his way, he wants to pull the plug, even though Carole and Burt are obviously very happy together. Third, he’s a dink to Mercedes, which IMO is inexcusable. Come on, Kurt. Get your shit together.

Sue acting like Mercedes pep rally was her idea, and taking all the credit for it. I mean, I know that’s just how Sue is, but it’s still a really ugly move.

Sue in this episode, period. Encouraging Becky to literally be bulimic, which is awful, and then asking Mercedes to drop ten pounds in a week?!?!? The most a person should lose per week is 2 pounds, and even that isn’t that healthy. Plus, what difference is ten pounds going to make? No, seriously. Maybe on someone like Quinn or Santana you’d be able to notice ten pounds, but on someone like Mercedes? I’ve been hovering around 200 pounds for about five years now, and I’ve looked exactly the same weighing 190, 200, and 210. On bigger people, something like ten pounds really does not make that much of a difference. Mercedes would have to lose 20-25 pounds at least to have a noticeable difference. Which means that Sue literally made her faint from hunger for no reason whatsoever. Fuck, that pisses me off.

April wanting to do an all-white version of The Whiz. April, that literally exists, and it’s called The Wizard of Oz.

Songs

Fire: This song isn’t necessary. It doesn’t work in the context of the episode, and it just takes away time from one of the actually interesting storylines in this episode. They sound good together, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just really not necessary.

A House is Not a Home: I think Kurt sounds incredible in this song, but it’s never been a favourite. It’s too slow for my taste, and I don’t like that it was a surprise sneak-attack duet instead of just a Kurt solo (I don’t actually think we’ve had one of those yet which is brutal). I’m counting down till “Laryngitis” here, people. I’m ready for my Kurt solo.

One Less Bell to Answer/A House is Not a Home: Holy shit. Okay, so. This song is way too long, and they could have cut a good two minutes from the performance (it’s literally a four-minute-long in-episode performance which is out of this world). That being said, holy fucking shit. The vocals on this are amazing. Not just April, but Will too. There’s not that many songs that make me think “goddamn, Matt Morrison can sing” but this one does. I actually only really noticed the length of the song once it ended because I was so enraptured by how incredible these two sound singing this song. Goddamn.

Beautiful: an absolutely amazing and powerful performance. I cried the entire way through. It’s so uplifting, and Mercedes obviously sounds incredible. Absolutely top-notch

Home: Boring, and once again, unnecessary. Kristen Chenoweth has a great voice, nobody is denying that, but three songs for a guest star is too much. And frankly, the choir-style background singing of the Glee club doesn’t really work for me. A bit of a mediocre ending to an otherwise fantastic episode.

Final Thoughts: This was an episode I started not expecting to enjoy it, as all I remembered about it was the Will stuff. When it ended, I was in a much better mood than I’d been when it started, and it made me excited to watch the next episode (something I don’t often feel in season one).

[soft-sarcasm]

xu minghao: solace in mutual suffering I.

Pairing: xu minghao x reader.

Summary: your roommate Minjae and Minghao’s roommate have a lot of sex, and you find solace in each other and your mutual suffering. (or alternatively, you and Minghao meet on the rooftop of your building while your roommates have sex and there’s not much else.)

Genre: college!au, there isn’t much to this, but I kinda like it, weed use, also a strong hatred for mango juice.

Word Count: 3+k

a/n: so they smoke weed in this, if you’re not comfortable with this, I don’t really know what to say. This isn’t really substantial but I wrote it on a whim, so, yeah.

part ii.

“It’s like poison that burns everything good and pure in this world until there’s nothing left but a blackened husk of disgust and despair.”

“Fine then, we won’t get any fucking mango juice.” Your roommate of nearly two years, Minjae, scoffed, setting down the bottle before pushing the half-filled cart further away from the juice aisle. “You know, you could have just said you don’t like mango juice, you didn’t have to break out into a sonnet on death.”

“Simply saying I don’t like mango juice would be a dreadful understatement and I cannot stand privy to such a misconception.” Was your reply, the overtly overdramatic proclamation puffed out on fogged breath as you stooped low in front of the frozen vegetables freezer so that you could have better access to scrutinise the seemingly endless variety of mixed veg packets. “Now do we want peas, carrots and corn, or just peas and corn?”

Minjae took a moment contemplate, as she always did when questioned over the specifics of a purchase during your weekly shop and while the gravity of her expression could cause some to question if she was rather making the decision whether or not to go to war with a small nation, when in fact it typically was a more a-typical problem that more likely than not had something to do with noodles. “Get the one with all three; might as well if we’re paying for it.”

“Farm Fresh Medley it is,” You declared while retrieving the petrified packet before tossing it into the trolley so that it landed amongst the numerous bags of ramen. “Are you home for dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight,” Minjae clarified, mindlessly reaching for a bottle of fat-free milk as you glide past the dairy section. “Jun invited me over for a movie and sweet and sour pork.”

You sent her a questioning look of severe scrutiny, “I thought you were finally going vegetarian? Isn’t that why I wasn’t allowed chicken 5 seconds ago?”

 “It’s a process,” She retorted, feeling around the crate of onions before giving you three that she deemed of decent quality for you to bag, “I’m weaning myself off of the stuff which means we can’t have it in the house.”

You scoffed, tying the plastic with a practised amount of ease, “You’re just saying that so you can justify eating meat for the sole purpose of getting some of Jun’s meat.”

“Firstly, I don’t have to do anything to get some of Jun’s meat,” Minjae’s flaunt was hastily followed by the wrinkling her nose in obvious disgust, “And secondly; EW. Why do you have to make everything so gross?”

“I make everything gross?” You repeated, though your tone mimicked less of Minjae’s and more of one that clearly clarified that you were most definitely not in agreement, you placed a bag of chillies along with the rest of your chosen items before grabbing back onto the trolley’s handle. “You know what’s gross Minjae; seeing you and Jun go at it on our couch, even after we had both promised to keep the living room a sex free zone.”

“Oh gosh, will you give that a rest, I aired out the cushions afterwards.” She tsked, using her grip on the front of the cart to direct you towards the spices aisle.

You blanched, going still amongst the shelves filled to the brim with condiments. “You said you scrubbed them with bleach! And now you’re telling me all you did was air them out?”

“Yup; they weren’t even out there for very long.”

“I don’t know why you’re actually proud of this; you’ve also been sitting on the same cushions.”

“Oh I know,” She replied, shoulders rolling in a casual shrug. “But unlike you, I’m not neurotic when it comes to cleanliness.”

“If not wanting to sit in my roommate and her boyfriend’s sex stains makes me neurotic, I’ll gladly take that title.” You deadpanned, ignoring the pointed look your words earned you from a mother who made quick work of shuttling her toddler in the opposite direction.

Minjae was too busy musing over hot sauces to pay your outrage any mind, weighing two bottles that were near identical if it weren’t for the colour of their warning stickers. “Extra hot or extra, extra melt your face off hot?”

“The second one, obviously.”

“You should actually join us,” Minjae proposed while handing you a pack of tampons for you to put on the conveyor belt. “We’re going to match some weird alien film and Jun’s roommate will be there, apparently he’s single.”

You ignored the suggestive waggle of her eyebrows, favouring to focus on setting down the weighted bag of rice down for the cashier to scan. “Yeah, because that sounds like an appealing way of spending my precious Thursday night; watching some sci-fi flick with a complete stranger while we both pretend we can’t tell you and Jun are getting frisky under the blankets. I think I’ll stick with my own plans.”

“34 on this and then the rest on hers,” Minjae took a small pause to address the expectant middle-aged women behind the till before sending a polite smile and turning back to face you. “Can eating popcorn and watching Prison Playbook, or whatever that show is called, really be counted as plans?”

“Thank you; enjoy the rest of your day.” You bumbled as politely as possible to the disinterested cashier who had completely disengaged with you the second your card was back in your hand.  You took the time to carefully slip the engineered piece of glorified plastic back into your painfully light wallet before reclaiming the reins of the trolley. “Of course they’re plans, they also happen to be the only ones I need.”

“Wow,” Minjae drawled, “You sure do live a dangerous life.”

“What can I say,” You crooned, batting your eyelashes in mock flattery. “I like to live on the wild side from time to time.”

You had only ever fully spoken more than a greeting to Wen Junhui twice during the near four months during which he had not only co-inhabited the same building as you but also dated your friend, which was slightly odd seeing as how much of him you had been exposed to.

The first had been the day he and his roommates moved in, a brief welcoming that had progressed while his roommate had continued to singlehandedly struggle to carry an armchair due to Jun abandoning his share of the weight in favour of flirting with Minjae. The second had been the rather awkward small talk that had transpired over the coffee table in your living room that’s surface you had refused to tear your eyes from during the painful phatic conversation that took place while Minjae scampered off to retrieve their clothes, complete with Jun attempting to joke while clutching a pillow you made a mental note to never touch again so that he could conceal his naked crotch.

So while you were painfully familiar with the image of his dick as it was now branded fully to your brain no matter how many times you attempted to expel it, you were not as well acquainted with the rest of. But if you were to take Minjae’s mood during the months that had been seeing each other as anything to go on he was a decent person, or he was just that good at sex. Whatever the case, you had yet to be given any cause for reservation concerning their relationship and instead wished her off for her ‘movie night’ with a supportive thumbs up due to your mouth being thoroughly occupied by freshly popped popcorn during that precise moment.

If you wished, you could summon up some sort of sympathy for the poor bastard that haunted the apartment a floor up from yours alongside Jun seeing as the couple spent an exceptionally great percentage of their time up there compared to the amount they spent in your own, even more so since the incident. But you would probably never feel quite guilty enough that you weren’t the one being subjected to the rather piercing sounds of their sexcapades. You were given the freedom to stroll about your living space opposed to tip-toeing about in fear of disturbing anything. Also, with Minjae gone, you could blast your flowery girl group tracks without the worry of being shunned for enjoying the overtly bubblegum music that you counted closer to art while she saw it more as a cause of noise pollution, not that she was one to talk. You could also do all of this without being constricted by the social convention that was pants. You loved Minjae, but there was power in having your shared apartment solely to yourself and you were currently revelling in it.

An hour and almost an entire episode down, you were struck with an epiphany that would surely fully solidify your night of relaxation. You were bounding up from your bed in the direction of your desk in work to retrieve a certain metal case that rattled with the contents that you knew to be a black sleek, portable size pipe that had been a gift from Minjae herself and a small bag of something happily green. One of the many perks of living off campus was the lack of room checks which allowed more choice when it came to where you stored you weed, everyone had their preference, Minjae kept hers under her bed, you liked to keep yours blended in alongside your makeup caddy.

You hastily shimmied into a pair of shorts and slipped the case into one of the back pockets before you were exiting your apartment in pursuit of the thankfully accessible roof of your building. You scampered up the stairs, bare feet padding lightly against the cement until you reached the landing and punched in the familiar code that you had long ago memorised. Once through the door you were instantly introduced to the brisk evening air and couldn’t help but shudder at the sudden drop in temperature, cursing yourself for not pulling on a jumper over your flimsy t-shirt.

In efforts to be able to return to the source of warmth that was your apartment, you crowded yourself behind one of the broken dressers that had evidently found its grave on the roof of your building. Crouching down in hopes of shielding yourself from the current breeze, you used little flare to shove the needed amount of green into the designated compartment on your pipe, giving your past high self a little pat of gratitude for mulling the entirety of your weed so that the process was made much more efficient.

Finally having everything where it was supposed to be, you balanced the pipe in your mouth as you pulled yourself back into a standing position, flicking up the lighter and bringing down the flame. You inhaled the fumes that came rushing down the pipe, hopping slightly in an attempt to stay warm as you exhaled.

“I was right; weed.”

You all but left your skin behind with the force of your abrupt jump at the sound of the poignant statement. Half-way through a drag, you twisted in the direction of the intrusion only to be met with a rather expectant, all-knowing expression. Only slightly taller then you thanks to the inherited height of your father was a young man that you liked to think you recognised as Jun’s roommate from the few brief occasions you had caught sight of him. He was undoubtedly good looking, sandy brown hair that suspiciously resembled the style of a mullet though you could overlook that in favour of the overall attractive package.

It was only when you started to become lightheaded did you realise that you had been holding your breath causing you to instantly release it, coming out more of a choked cough as you spluttered on smoke all while under the scrutiny of your neighbour. He watched as you all but expelled a lung from your body with mild concern.

“You alright over there?”

You held up a finger in way of conveying the moment you needed as you beat a fist at your chest, finally being able to speak after the raw burn slightly dissipated from your airways. “Fine, thanks. You just surprised me is all.”

“Sorry,” He mused though he seemed less apologetic and more amused which caused your gaze to narrow. “Though I guess it’s only natural for someone who’s doing something illegal to be jumpy.”

“Illegal my ass,” You scoffed and definitely lifted the apparatus back up to your lips. “No one’s ever overdosed on marijuana and it does more good than harm and that’s a fucking fact.”

“Not arguing with you on that,” He reasoned while raising his hands in mock surrender, the rather coy twist of his lips amplifying into a near smirk.

You rolled your eyes, lifting your lighter back up so that you could take another drag, retaining the smoke for a moment before exhaling and speaking again. “You’re Jun’s roommate right?”

“Minghao,” He clarified, “And you’re Minjae’s roommate right? The one who likes Pristin?”

“Wee Woo is a work of fucking art and I will fight you on that,” You stated pointedly over a puff of fumes, “But yes, I’m ____.”

“Nice.” Was his simple reply, his gaze now trained on the lit device that dangled in your grasp.

“You want?” You questioned, raising the piece and lighter in his direction. He nodded before gratefully grabbing for the items. You watched as he brought them both up, oddly fascinated by the way his inarguably attractive lips wrapped around the small cylinder, and he relit the end before inhaling deeply, silence whipping around you like the wind as he slowly exhaled. “Why are you up here?”

“It started getting a bit too much for me when I couldn’t even hear the movie over the sound of them.” He stated and no further explanation was needed for you to understand.

You wrinkled your nose in disgust, taking the pipe when he offered. “They must really just have a thing for living rooms.”

Minghao choked out a laugh at the severe distaste laced in your voice that made it easy to assume that there was some further implication of your words. “Right, Jun told me about the incident.”

“Yeah,” You snorted while handing back the pipe, “That thing.”

“I can relate it’s happened to me more than once.” He sympathised, shuddering in a way that had you all but grinning.

“How far are they into it?” You questioned after a few more sessions of passing back in forth, your mind becoming increasingly tinged with a warm fog though it did little to combat the cold against your skin.

“Well, the movie’s only half way so I guess another hour, maybe two just to be safe.” He estimated sending you a side glance as you shivered. “You should probably think about going inside.”

Your next expire came out chill shaken further contributing to the fact that yes, you probably should think about going inside. “But I so enjoy feeling like a frozen icicle.”

“Do you really need to specify being a frozen icicle? Wouldn’t being an icicle in turn mean that you are already frozen?” He mused, caramel brown eyes reading pondering as they flickered under the depleted light of the sole bulb that hung dangerously from a half-broken lamp.

Your stare directed at his defined profile that faced you was blatant and blank in its lack of approval to his comment, “I could be a fucking melted icicle if I bloody wanted to be, you don’t know me.”

“Wouldn’t that mean you were a puddle?”

“Fuck you,” Was you curt reply, brain a mesh of muddled and tangled cords that weren’t locking into the correct fuses that would have usually powered a more eloquent response. “Do you want to come in before I become more of a frozen fucking icicle?”

There was a shrug, then a smirk that you had noticed seemed to be Minghao’s infuriatingly attractive trademark, “Sure.”

“Cute.”

You hastily yanked back your foot that the toe Minghao had just finished pulling was attached to, “Don’t touch.”

“Then don’t put your feet on my lap,” He retorted from his side of the couch that you had both taken resident on though while he was crowded to the far end, you had languidly stretched your body across as a lazy fog continued to set in and warm your once iced bones.

You poked him in the side with aforementioned foot, “My couch, my rules.”

Minghao sent you a look of amusement as you continued to then wedge your toes out of sight in between the plush of the sofa and his thigh, his gaze switching to your contended face that you were currently stuffing with popcorn. “Cute.”

“No,” You giggled, polluted brain far easier to flatter than it normally would.

“Why have we never hung out before?” Minghao questioned absentmindedly, sending a wink to combat the glare you sent him as he reached over to shove a hand into the bowl that balanced on your stomach. “Seeing as our roommates are always hanging out.”

You scoffed and munched on another handful of butter flavoured kernels, “I don’t think I know you well enough to hang out with you like Minjae and Jun hang out.”

Minghao swatted your extended thigh in retaliation to your insolence, “You know that’s not what I meant,” And then he spoke quieter, “Not that I would be entirely opposed.”

“Oi!” You exclaimed, stabbing your toes upwards into his thigh. “I ain’t the kind of girl who smokes with a boy and then goes down on him; I at least have to get a meal out of it first.”

“I have that pizza place down the road on speed dial,” He mentioned offhandedly, already moving to extract his phone from his pocket. “They deliver in less than 15 minutes.”

“Haha,” You snarked, “You’re so fucking funny.”

He shrugged, “Well I do have this plan that if the whole photography thing doesn’t work out that I may dabble in stand up comedy.”

“And I would be in front row at every single show, cheering you on.” You crooned, batting your eyelashes far too spastically to be attractive.

“Does this mean we’re dating now? I thought we weren’t even hanging out.”

“Fuck no! I haven’t even gotten my pizza yet!”

[familyofpaladins]

So I was finally able to watch the new season and hoLY FUDGE STICKS

JUST JUST SO MUCH STUFF SO MUCH HAPPEN

LOTS OF GOOD AND BAD AND BITTERSWEET

Some of my thoughts, not necessarily in any order:

Hunk did wonderful getting the galra to work together

Lotor’s governess was an interesting character

like what happens to her now anyway???

did she have anything to do with his idealology or did she have no idea any of the plans that he had???

Why didn’t anyone question more what was going on with “Shiro”??? Like he was clearly in pain and stuff was going on, but they didn’t do anything???

HOLY CRUD SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE SECOND EPISODE

LIKE THANK YOU FOR ACTUALLY PICKING UP EXACTLY WHERE WE LEFT OFF WITH THEM

HOly crud the flashbacks 

Shiro’s clothes were actually Keith’s dad’s!!!!!! okay that’s very reasonable but not what i was expecting

also can i just say that for no particular reason i loved that Keith was wearing his jacket and regular clothes during the flashabacks

TWO YEARS. THEY WERE THERE FOR TWO. FLIPPIN YEARS. I’M-

But ohmygosh he got a SPACE DOG. 

okay okay my headcanon with shiro getting a space dog randomly was pretty close to this except it’s keith instead of shiro

TWO YEARS LADKJFALSKDJFALKJ

MORE ALTEANS MORE ALTEANS MORE ALTEANS

I love how everyone(my self included) when we originally saw Allura’s MnM character was like IT’S ROMELLE, but was then dissapointed when it wasn’t 

BUT THEN WE ACTUALLY DID GET ROMELLE

poor romelle

I love the space mice and am glad they are no longer missing in action

The MnM episode was pretty good.

Shiro’s character just dieing, and him remaking the same character was kinda funny but also, not. Like it was a straight up metaphor/forshadowing of all the clones, and he himself BEING a clone. 

I KNEW STUFF WITH LOTOR WAS GOING TO HIT THE FAN BUT I DIDN’T QUITE EXPECT THAT

Did- did they do anything with the alteans in the quintessence plant??? like free them or anything??? or did they just leave them??? were they all dead????

Honereva makes a comeback?????????????? is she actually getting better or.......???? idk what to even think anymore

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooo dangit i Knew it was going to happen (heck two or so seasons ago I wanted it to happen because I fully expected it) but I didn’t want it to happen now. “Shiro” being controlled and used to fight the rest of them

Also this is going to be a single moment of pettiness were i will say: SUCK IT PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T THINK THE CLONE THEORIES WERE TRUE. HE WAS A CLONE. HA. 

okay im done. 

When controlled Kuron used the black bayard it took on the look it had when Zarkon used it. 

poor generals they really don’t know what lotor’s plans are so they don’t know whether or not to trust him

but also part of me doesn’t like them because they keep hoping loyalties and i don’t like that but if they had trusted lotor for such a long time while also having had to fend for themselves i get it but meeehhh

i was kinda meehh on keith piloting black again (though i get why it was SUPER IMPORTANT that he do) but oh BOY SEEING HIM BACK IN HIS PALADIN ARMOR WAS THE BEST. IT LIFTED MY SOUL. GOSH I REALLY MISSED HIM WITH THE TEAM

SOME INTERACTION BETWEEN KEITH AND PIDGE. FUDGING FINALLY coulda been more though dreamworks *side eyes them*

*keith goes through wormhole by himself and the other side is just filled with galra ships* Me: well that was stupid, now you’re going to die

THEIR FIGHT LAKFDJLAKDJFL

WHY SO MANY CLONES???????? LIKE THERE WAS LITERALLY PROBABLY 100 OF THOSE IF NOT MORE. WHY?

that fight destroyed my heart

*kuron’s sword makes the mark on keith’s face* me: Oh so it IS a scar. interesting

*arm gets massive and ultra galra looking* well OK then

*arm gets cut off* DOES THIS MEAN HE’LL GET A NEW ARM THAT WASN’T MADE BY THE GALRA AND IS ALTEAN??? :D

Real Shiro: I died ME: wELL FUDGE YOU TOO DREAMWORKS WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT 

BUT WHY DID HE DIE????? WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO KILL HIM??? AND HE WAS IN BLACK THE WHOLE TIME???? WHY WASN’T HE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING TO THE TEAM BEFORE ALL THIS, LIKE WHEN KEITH WAS ORIGINALLY TESTING OUT THE BLACK LION BACK IN THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 3???

I was real bitter about this whole thing for the rest of the episodes

like I love Keith, he’s my favorite character, but I don’t want him to be the black paladin, i want him back in red

but here they were making it look like Shiro was going to be guiding Keith from ‘Beyond’ to be the new black paladin, and that was a no no to me

granted the whole Keith activating Black’s wings in order to save the res of the team was ePIC 

*deadpan* oh look at that, lotor’s three ships become on mega robot didn’t see THAT coming, no sir. what a SHOCKER. 

but the zipping in and out of the inter reality space was interesting 

Lotor got rejected after being found out to have exploited the energy of people and SNAPPED. 

LIke wow, he really just jumped off ship right there into crazy land. 

again poor generals

also what happened to them???

especially after the whole blowing up the castle to stop the destruction of the realities tearing apart, because lots of stuff got blown up there and they were just floating in empty space???

THEY JUST STOPPED THE CASTLE FROM BEING BLOWN UP AND NOW THEY GO AHEAD AND BLOW IT UP ANYWAY

the the the castle has been their home, and now they have to get rid of it

that part was honestly one of the saddest moments

at first i was sad, because it looked like pidge was going to leave the Trash Paladins behind, but there were there in her lion, so it’s all go

nice to see you again kaltenecker 

Okay, I’m glad Shiro is back with a tangible body now, but what about the one that’s been with them the past who knows how long??

like did that consciousness die after being controlled? what the heck dreamworks

i was hoping that he could be redeemed. this was just plain out sad

*Glowing Allura walks up and places her hands on Shiro and he starts to glow, and his hair shifts* HE’S GOING TO HAVE WHITE HAIR NOW ISN’T HE

im not sure how i feel about that honestly.

All the lions roaring at shiro’s return relieved me a bit about who the true black paladin.

and by this i mean Shiro is the true Black Paladin, Keith belongs in Red, and Lance in Blue. 

HEY MAYBE WHEN THEY REBUILD THE CASTLE ALLURA CAN HAVE HER OWN SPECIAL THING

Paladins talking about having no castle and where they’re going to go*

me: they’re going to go to the new altea

Pidge: *says something about building a new caslte* 

me: new altea

PIdge: *continues with saying that coran had secamtics that are with her dad*

Me: new alt- wait. oh. OH. OH OH OHOHOHOH THEY’RE GOING BACK TO EARTH THEY’RE GOING BACK TO EARTH!!!!!!!!!

Never say that a character is done with when you just leave them somewhere 

Lotor is totally going to come back. crazed and ultra evil maybe, but I HIGHLY doubt he’s gone.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 2: Part Eight

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Wednesday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in specific missions to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what three idols will move on to the second date.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

You furrowed your brows as one of the staff began to approach Wonho. Gnawing on his lip nervously, he surveyed the nearby foam pit with scrutiny. You could tell he was tense with nerves. Heaving a sigh, you shuffled over to him. 

“I thought you said you’d protect me,” you teased, placing your arm lightly on his bicep. Maybe if you could lighten the mood, the grave expression would disappear from his face. 

“The only person needing protecting right now is me,” he groaned. 

“Wonho,” you chuckled. “It’s literally foam. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“I could miss the pit and fall to my death,” he whispered, his eyes glossing over. 

“You realize pretty much everything in this building is padded, right?” you hummed. “There is literally zero possibility of you hurting yourself.” 

“I want to believe you,” he nodded. “But I have this tiny voice in the back of my head, you know, it kind of sounds like Kihyun...reminding me that I have to die somehow, so why not this way?” 

“So dramatic,” you chirped, trying to keep from rolling your eyes. “Would it help if I did it first? Show you there is nothing dangerous here?” 

“No,” he pouted. “I can do it.” 

You took the few, short steps toward the foam pit and grabbed at the thick rope one of the staff had been supporting. “Don’t worry, I got this.”

“Absolutely not!” he gasped, stomping toward you. “You’re already hurt, do you think I’m going to let you kill yourself?” 

“This isn’t a matter of life and death,” you laughed, almost nose to nose with him at this point. “It’s  a matter of swinging or letting go.” 

“It’s my challenge,” Wonho nodded. “I’ll do it.” 

“Surprisingly, seeing a grown man cry is not on my to do list for today,” you smiled. “I got this.” 

“Y/N,” he said sternly, pulling the rope away from you. 

“Wonho,” you argued, using his name as if it was the strongest ammunition you had. 

“Give me the rope,” he whispered, looking you directly in the eyes. Leaning away from him, you felt as if you had swallowed your tongue. You hadn’t been expecting for such an intense look to be directed your way, especially given the situation. Letting go of the rope, you sidestepped away from his path, only to trip over your own feet and get wrapped in the same rope you had attempted to disconnect yourself from. 

“Y/N!” Wonho shouted in horror as you began to tumble backward toward the foam pit, your ankle hanging in midair. 

Feeling as if you were falling in slow motion, no noise escaped your lips as you plummeted downward. Your eyes darted around you, attempting to find anything solid to grab on to, anything that could delay your body from jerking away from your foot still held captive by the rope. 

In theory, accidentally tripping into a foam pit doesn’t sound like a completely terrifying situation. In actuality though, most people who had experienced said situation were not hanging precariously by their ankle, left to only sink further within their cushiony prison and away from the body part they wanted to desperately free. 

“Aghaugh,” you bellowed, time seemingly speeding up as you finally hit the pit, yanking your leg downward with your body weight. You instantly felt a stinging pain circulate through your ankle and radiate into your calf. 

Shit. 

“Y/N!” Wonho screeched, launching forward and jumping into the pit. Closing your eyes in pain, you tried to ignore the feeling of his strong hands beginning to work feverishly at the knot now wrapped around your leg. With a plop, your foot landed parallel to your body and you let out another moan. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, shuffling through the foam to grab you beneath the arms. He struggled against the foreign material as he pulled you as gently as he could back to the safety of solid ground. His hands were shaking as he sat you against the matted floor, visibly shaken by witnessing you nearly dislocate your foot from your body. “I should’ve listened to the tiny Kihyun in my head.”

“This Kihyun guy sounds like a bad time,” you winced. “I’m fine.” 

“Not according to the sounds that came out of you when you fell,” Wonho croaked. You glanced up toward his face, noticing how visibly pale he had gotten. He shook his head as he leaned over you. “I was supposed to protect you. I said I would.” 

“Can we get a medic!” one of the camera men called, his expression panicked. Your stomach flip flopped with the sound of his voice. 

“Is it okay?” you whispered, attempting to lean up and see your limb for yourself. 

“It’s swollen,” Wonho nodded. “I mean...it’s not sticking in any weird directions or bleeding...so that’s good, right?” 

“Very good,” you smiled weakly, patting the anxious man on the arm. “See, I’ll be fine.” 

“You still got hurt,” he muttered. “On my watch. And you were hurt already.” 

“Right,” you clucked, lifting up your wrist to glance at it. “It’ll be fine.”

“What dates can you possibly go on now?” he pouted, shaking his head again. “I’m only the halfway point and I pretty much ruined the show for you. Oh my gosh, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 

You rolled your eyes and continued to rub your hand along his arm. “It’s okay, Hoseok.” 

Wonho blinked rapidly for a moment, turning his face to look toward yours for the first time since this incident had began. 

“Sorry, I know you prefer Wonho,” you said quietly. 

“No,” he chuckled, looking away again. “I’m not upset. It’s just...I’ve never heard my name that way before.” 

“What do you mean?” you asked, attempting to tilt your head from your position on the ground. “It’s pronounced Hoseok, right? Like...hoe...sook?” 

“I don’t mean the pronunciation,” he giggled, a smile finally finding his face. “I mean...the way you said it. It made me actually prefer to hear “Hoseok” for once.” 

“Alright Hoseok,” one of the camera men nodded, his tone unamused. “You failed the mission-”

“What do you mean?” you hissed, leaning forward. “I didn’t even let him complete the mission. Did you not see what just happened? You realize you just called over a medic, right?” 

“You’re right,” the camera man sighed. “To be more specific, you failed the mission, Y/N.” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, plopping back on the ground. 

“Not to be rude,” Wonho said quietly. “But could you lay off?” 

“Oh right, we’ll let you get back to making eyes at each other,” the camera man grumbled. “Break a girl’s leg and all you have to do is bat your eyelashes to get back in her good graces. I tell you, youth is wasted on the young.” 

“And I tell you,” Wonho said slowly, speaking with a tone you hadn’t even recognized to be his. “To leave her alone.” 

“Kids these days,” the camera man scoffed. Turning away from the two of you, he lumbered away, nearly throwing the boom mic at his fellow production crew member. 

“Uh, I believe a medic was supposed to be coming?” the other cameraman said wearily. His eyes grew in size as he looked around nervously. “Can anyone help here? Uh...how about we take a five minute break? Five minute break everyone!” 

Looking up from your bandaged ankle, you scoffed. “I’m an idiot.” 

Wonho stood before you, his arms crossed. “You aren’t an idiot.” 

You had both been sequestered in the break room of the indoor trampoline park, abandoned momentarily by all staff until they could figure out a game plan on how to salvage the episode. You adjusted your seated position on top of the giant storage freezer and sighed. 

“I’m easily the biggest idiot I know. I can’t believe this.”

“Blame me before you blame yourself,” he sighed, glancing toward his feet. “If I wasn’t such a coward-”

“If you call yourself a coward one more time,” you grumbled. “I’m drop kicking you. Bum foot and all, so unless you want me hurting myself again-” 

“Okay, okay,” Wonho murmured. “I’m not a coward...as long as you aren’t an idiot.” 

“Quite the pair we make,” you chuckled. You looked up toward the ceiling, attempting to keep tears from bubbling over and streaming down your face. “You know, I never thought My Idol was going to be like this...I knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster, but this...this is a bit much.” 

“Besides the whole...constantly injuring yourself thing, you seem to have yourself held together fairly well,” he nodded brightly. Reaching up, he cupped your face with his palm and rubbed his thumb calmly along your cheek. “You’re doing great.” 

“Easy for you to say,” you muttered, finally managing to capture all of your potential tears back into their ducts. You tilted your face back toward Wonho and sighed, not wanting to admit you enjoyed the feeling of his strong hand alongside your face. “You get to see the made for tv version of my life.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet,” he grinned, sliding his hand away. “But I’m here to see the behind the scenes version.” 

“It’s pretty intense,” you muttered. “Especially now. I’m a mess with a lot of feelings.” 

“Aren’t we all?” he chuckled. “I’ve cried publicly at least seven times this year.” 

“You’ve had reason,” you nodded. “You’ve accomplished things. I’m just serial dating for the world to see.”

“It’s okay to feel a little pressure,” Wonho hummed. “Being in the public eye is honestly nerve wracking. I don’t think any amount of mental preparation can make it easy for you to handle...do you...do you want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what exactly?”

“Well, I don’t know. Minhyuk asks me if I want to talk about things when I’m upset and I just start spewing out all of these thoughts,” he said quietly, glancing away from you. “Talk about how the show makes you feel, how the other dates make you feel-”

“I can’t talk to my date about other guys,” you scoffed.

“Why not?” he asked, lifting his brows.

“Well...” you muttered, chewing on your lip. “Because that’s weird.”

“I’m weird,” he said simply. 

“Thank you for the self made observation, but I’d like to spare you the details,” you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Who do you have to talk to about this type of stuff?” he asked, his face taking on an expression of concern.

“Does it matter?” you countered, lifting your brows.

“Why are you so stubborn?” he chuckled. 

“Just drop it, Hoseok,” you groaned, tilting your face back toward the floor. Thinking about your My Idol experience thus far was exhausting, let alone rehashing it with one of the contestants. 

“Well, I don’t like it when you say my name that way,” he muttered. 

“Well, I don’t like it when you try to make me talk about my feelings,” you chuckled. 

“One day you’ll want to talk about them,” he smiled. “Because if you don’t, you’re going to get all bottled up and then you’ll pop. Everyone will hear a tiny “pfft” and you’ll be gone.” 

“Oh, so I’ll literally pop?” you asked, trying to keep a smile from appearing on your face. This man was utterly ridiculous. 

But why were you enjoying his presence so thoroughly? 

“Yep,” he nodded. “Happened to my cousin. He didn’t talk about his feelings. Ever. Until one day, I asked my aunt how he was and she said, ‘Oh, he popped.’“ 

“What a riveting story,” you giggled. 

Wonho leaned down, allowing his eyes to be level with yours. “It’s not a story. It’s fact.” 

“So you’re trying to save my life?” you whispered. His eyes were intoxicating. You had avoided looking into them for the better part of the day just so you wouldn’t feel so lost, but surprisingly, you weren’t feeling lost at all. 

If anything, you felt as if you had been found. 

Like someone was really looking at you for the first time. 

Like someone really saw who you were. 

“Well, I obviously couldn’t save you from the foam pit,” he said quietly. “So the least I can do is try to save you from yourself.”

“Where are you two going?” one of the My Idol crew shouted. Since your accident, production crew members swarmed the facility, all debating on what action should be taken in the situation. 

You hobbled alongside Wonho, allowing for him to shoulder most of your body weight. His arm rested carefully around your back with his hand firmly gripping your waist. Holding onto his opposite hand for dear life, you looked up at the unfamiliar staff member and smiled. “Out.” 

“What do you mean out?” she gasped. “You can’t go anywhere! We have more filming! You have a broken foot!” 

“It’s a sprain,” you sighed. “And I believe we’re done filming for the day.” 

“You’re-you’re done filming?” she stuttered, looking frantically around the room. “What do you mean you’re done filming? You two failed a mission, there’s a punishment and, and, and-”

“Oh, who cares about your failed mission,” Wonho grumbled, readjusting his grip on you in his arms. “We’re getting ramen.”

To Be Continued...

[haruheartshallyu]

PRODUCE101 – 10 Moments That Made Me Completely Lose My Shit

I want to forget this negativity about the final episode, and I want to start cherishing this wonderful time with Produce 101 Season 2. There were 10 moments that dumbfounded me completely. Some of them turned me into a screaming shitty fan girl, others made me burst into ridiculous laughter, and there were those moments that changed my though self into a crybaby. And yes, these are the things I want to remember when I think back on this amazing time we had with 101 fantastic trainees.

(These moments aren’t posted in a particular order.)

#1 CRYBABY JISUNG PLACES THIRD

MMO’s Jisung is best known for his bubbly and quirky personality. However, he showed after his team’s 10 Out Of 10 performance a completely new side of himself – an emotional crybaby. But when he placed third during the very first elimination episode, I completely lost my shit. I didn’t expect that. I was so touched by his happy tears... I started to cry as well. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last time I burst into a flood of tears because of him. And that means I basically cried more and more and more along with our MMO hyung’s emotional outbreaks. Thanks for turning me into a whiney bitch, Jisung!

#2 DONGHO FUCKS YOU WITH HIS EYES

Girls all around the world went crazy when the first team performed their Boy in Luv show. However, when the second team arrived on stage and started their own version of Boy in Luv... I completely lost my shit – within the very first seconds.

Dongho’s team hasn’t won this competition, but he won everyone’s attention with his extremely sexy expression – which also turned into his trademark. Yes, even the trainees backstage started to recognize that Kang Daddy Dongho is a sexy beast. His nickname Sexy Bandit is definitely well deserved.

#3 NO ONE’S SAVE FROM SEONHO’S LOVE

I always thought that Seonho stands in Guanlin’s shadow. He hasn’t had much screen time, and despite his handsome face, he was easily forgettable – for me. But holy shit – the last elimination episode before the final proved me so fucking wrong.

He made me completely lose my shit with his incredible bromancy behavior among his hyungs – especially the bromance between him and Minhyun. Have you ever seen such a perfect maknae? As WANNA ONE’s actual maknae, I hope Guanlin carries on Seonho’s skinship work. Just do it, bro!

#4 TAEHYUN GOT THE SICKEST MOVES

My first bias of the show was Taehyun thanks to his incredible dancing skills. I wasn’t sure if he can beat his first performance during the second episode, but HELL YES... he did – and it started with just one smirk.

Boom! After that the probably best dance performance of Produce 101 happened – and yes, this made me lose my shit... obviously. With Shape Of You he revealed a completely new side of himself, and stole everyone’s show. 

#5 MMO TRAINEES? MORE LIKE MMO GOSSIP SQUAD

Not exactly one of my favorite “moments” – but every single time MMO’s trainees appeared on screen during episode 1 and 2, I’ve started to lose my shit.

Mnet didn’t show their evaluation performance, but thankfully – they revealed a lot of their gossip during the first two episodes. Oh yeah, the MMO Gossip Squad was born. Especially Jisung shined more than anyone else with his unique kind of humor. Thank you Mnet for revealing their stupid conversations.

#6 배고파 // BAEGOPA

I already knew that Seongwoo was funny as fuck. But during the tenth episode I completely lost my shit when he introduced us to his own version of BTS’ Boy in Luv.

What the fuck, dude? I will never be able to listen to this song with proper lyrics again. NEVER! Thanks, Seongwoo! You ruined Boy in Luv for me. Now I can’t stop laughing when this song appears on my playlist.

#7 LOSING YOUR SHIT IN FRONT OF THE QUEEN

When Mnet announced that TripleH are going to make a song for the Produce 101 trainees, everyone went full nuts. I would lose my shit as well. But when they finally arrived, the other trainees who had no chance to work with HyunA, E-Dawn and Hui couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw Korea’s current sex symbol.

As someone who has already seen HyunA live, I can confirm – this is exactly what happens to yourself. Your mouth opens widely, you start to drool and you probably stop breathing. However, it was so incredibly sweet to see how awkward and shy the trainees started to act when HyunA greeted them. Gosh, too cute!

#8 DANIEL THE PANTY DESTROYER

Do you think this is fun, Kang Daniel? You’ve already destroyed enough ovaries with your previous performances, but doing THIS made countless ladies probably pregnant – with or without their ovaries.

Yes, I’ve lost my shit. I’ve lost more than my shit. I think I’ve lost my virginity for the second time. And I blame this sexy bastard (plus the other Kang) and his sensual performance during the ninth episode of Produce 101. Fuck you, Daniel! Oh, wait... fuck me! 

(This is clearly a joke, guys. I obviously still have my virginity.)

#9 SEXY BANDIT KILLS EVERYONE

Brutal force is what makes men sexy, right? Yeah... well, not really. But when Kang Dongho starts smashing – he smashes everyone. And yes, that’s actually freaking hot.

The revenge for his team’s maknae Guanlin made me lose my shit, because Kang Real Namja Dongho fucked everyone. EVERYONE! No one was save during the arm wrestling competition, and no one was save during the punching contest. Sexy Bandit just killed them all.

#10 EUNKI AND JUNG JUNG’S BROMANCE DANCE

There was only one moment of Produce 101 that forced me to pause – yes, during a live stream. I've danced ballet and modern for a very long time, and I absolutely still have a certain connection to this kind of dance. And when Jung Jung suddenly appeared on stage and started dancing “freestyle” together with Eunki – I COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT!

Oh my God, boys! This was one of the best moments of my entire life – and I am not someone who ships boys with boys (I usually ship boys with myself). I fell in love – with Eunki, Jung Jung, the dance and Group D. Thank you, thank you so much for this perfect moment that proves that I’m the worst creep ever. Thank you!

If you want to check out my previous Produce 101 shit... yeah... here it is. I write a lot of inappropriate but also sweet stuff.

PRODUCE101 – BURN IT UP VS ENERGETIC

PRODUCE101 – 10 MOMENTS THAT MADE ME COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT

PRODUCE101 FINAL – THOUGHTS AND OVERWHELMING EMOTIONS

PRODUCE101 – HOW THE PERFECT BOY GROUP WOULD LOOK LIKE

TOP5 SEXIEST PRODUCE101 TRAINEES: #5 – #4 – #3 – #2 – #1

PRODUCE101 EPISODE 10 – FEELINGS, FRUSTRATION AND FEAR

[rqs902]

.

this became just a random summary of my thoughts on mainly yu gengyin (with other kids sprinkled in lol) throughout various episodes of season 2, which may or may not be presented in any sort of logical flow or order, just a warning.... 

i feel like yu gengyin is normally a calm boy, pretty direct, but keeps his composure. but this pose right here, i can relate to his contempt for zhou wen HAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHA HES SO DONE HAHHAHAHA

i havent even started the episode yet but i saw they’re gonna perform exo’s wolf and just started LAUGHING HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA I NEVER HTGOUHT HAHAHH NOT THIS SONG HAHHAHAHHAHA

tbh im totally ok with leo not choosing ygy HAHAHAHAHHAHA no offense to him, but he’s not very good at playing the super idol game, so hopefully ygy can shine stronger elsewhere. i feel like this show doesnt show him enough appreciation yet. 

HAHAHAHAH YGY IN THE SAME GROUP AS CXK YES IM THRIVINGGG 

suddenly leo’s team got very strong lol 

but pyj hating hd still lol.... but its ok they have wmt even tho they got a bunch of new kids and the most useless new kid lol.....

i was just complaining about lack of ygy but suddenly there are more flashes to ygy on screen lol... amazing... but he does look really nice in this color

WHEN YGY GOT NOMINATED TO BE ELIMINATED MY HEART BROKE 

but tbh for the remainder of the ep i more worried about freaking wumuti looking like he was freaking dying gosh he shouldve gone to rest or something, they really didnt need him to keep standing there after he finished performing. freaking muti pulled off an amazing performance despite his condition and as soon as he exited that stage persona, he literally looked like he was so weak and so pale i was like oh gosh let the boy rest!!! ugh but yea i refuse to believe / am in denial that ygy may possibly get eliminated so i am refusing to think about it LOL. anyway now on ep 6 they literally keep giving him screentime. zfz literally saying the purpose of this mission is to “save ygy” and cxk talking about giving ygy a special role in their perf so he can shine ;_; i love friendship 

but im not complaining about extra ygy time ehehehheh he looks like a prince for this stage and i love how he’s still smiling brightly throughout the ep and when aya brought up his status of being nominated for elims he was like ‘can you not say it out loud” and it was jokingly and he was smiling but the downward motion he made with his hands, i was like ah he is trying not to cry?

its interesting bc im almost grateful at least now ygy will get some more attention

wow look how stylish wu muti was in 2016 

oof watching ep 7 was painful..... it felt like an ultimate low for gengyin, and even tho we all teared up when zfz was eliminated.... it kinda made sense when he was talking about the colors and how he liked his own color so maybe hes just not meant to be in a boy band and i can agree... ahhhh side note fangzhou and yifan’s friendship ahhhh it makes so much sense why they’re still so close today.... even tho im still SO MAD that deng qiang is still here and fangzhou had to leave.... episode 8 was really FINALLY the break that this team as a whole really needed and im SO HAPPY and relieved for them 

this entire season has felt like a low for gengyin, like torture for him, and he really hasn’t gotten a break to shine or to feel success and i feel like to be in that kind of a slump for like 2 months??? thats so sad... and im sure that takes a toll on your mental health. but despite it all, despite being passed up for getting chosen for the special stage, he still was rooting for daidai so cutely like the way he used a silly voice to chant “戴隊戴隊” and so wholeheartedly exclaimed “戴戴太感人了~ 媽呀! 唱得快撕裂了你知道嗎’ I mean, honestly he could’ve easily and understandably felt salty that daidai got that opportunity (even tho we all know gengyin has more vocal ability), but he didn’t. it felt like he truly and fully supported his friend and teammate and that already had my heart going oof 

BUT THEN. then watching their practice footage and just watching him regain his confidence and then finally FINALLLYY perform like he was truly enjoying being on stage. after 8 freaking episodes, FINALLY its yu gengyin’s time to shine and i am THRIVING!!! ahhhhhhhhhh i literally stopped after their team’s perf to just absorb all the amazing things they said about him, about his vocals and high notes, and about his dancing improving, and about his rapping being so next level for him, and about his stage presence being the best hes been yet. and the comment the teacher made about how yu gengyin’s personality is just so nice and 善良 that he has had difficulty portraying a powerful stage presence and today he finally saw it, and i think he was just so perfect, im so proud and so happy!!!!!! and wow this stage is everything to me. cxk’s stage presence is already so strong (and btw i loved how kunkun so confidently said “ygy is our main vocal. he will no doubt stand on stage very confidently and perform well” -- i LOVE how much faith cxk has in gengyin, despite all the setbacks gengyin’s faced recently) and the choreo - they made it work for them and you could see them work together and i loved the way liu ye just literally SAW gengyin’s confidence. he saw how gengyin was just somehow so handsome on this stage and i think that says a lot about how much someone’s mental state can truly impact their performance. it hurt my heart to hear ygy describing being at risk for elimination for the past 3 weeks as feeling like he was physically weighed down by the immense pressure. he just seemed so tired, but at least within the last 2 eps the show has taken the time to really highlight how gengyin’s been practicing late at night alone, trying not to let down his team mates and really trying to improve himself. (ugh the fact that he had been practicing his high notes secretly all this time but never got to show it until he broke his voice...) But yes, i literally just watched their team’s performance and paused to type this all out and now im gonna go back and watch their whole segment again, because i love seeing yu gengyin’s transformation and this confident side of him. how can you not love his smile (and the way that they captioned this as "yu gengyin’s signature smile” :’)

man ep 8 is like THE time to be a ygy stan bc hes literally thriving and shining and getting all this screen time and attention and its so well-deserved and ive just been waiting 8 eps but we’re finally here :’) and yes its now official that ygy is my bias on this show i cant turn back now hahHHAHAHHA ive invested too many emotions into this child and you best bet i just changed my phone lock screen to also be ygy HAHHAHAHA its actually the top photo from the pic i just pasted above, bc this performance, that SMILE is EVERYTHING 

but also on a darker note, the whole conflict between wu muti and huadi is making me uncomfortable.... honestly i feel bad that ive been hoping their team loses but thats mainly just bc i need deng qiang to get eliminated which would require their team to lose LOL but also this whole thing between muti and huadi is getting out of control and their tempers are p concerning... like tbh we all know huadi has a temper but like muti is firey too and he’s like at a point where he just keeps yelling and being rude so im like theyre both just being rude to each other and its to the point where its starting to affect their team work... oh noo. sigh... from the beginning i thought huadi and muti’s dance styles were so different that they may clash bc theyre both going to try to lead dance practice, but this is way worse, this is their personalities clashing and its much scarier than i expected. 

also poor pinlin... man he like got super shafted during the first season imo and now he has to leave season 2 bc of his super serious injury.... ugh seeing his tears of frustration hurt my heart... he has so much talent and deserves more opportunity to show it :( but man his waist injury sounds so bad. the main bright side to all this is zuo qibo getting peer pressured into stepping up as a main vocal and really improving and getting some time to shine too. in season 1, back from when muti was like ‘noo i dont wanna be compared to qibo, hes a good singer’ until now, i dont think we’ve reaaalllyyy gotten too much of an opportunity to appreciate qibo’s vocal abilities because hes not had too much exposure and hes been overshadowed by the kids who have already established their strong vocal abilities. im scared hes under a lot of pressure now, as their leader and main vocal, but im glad hes been doing so well so far, good for him :’) im looking forward to seeing him improve and get more appreciation. i remember he was one of the most popular kids at the end of season 1 (along with cxk and wmt i think?) so i want to believe that he can live up to it. also this is random, but his visuals are really growing on me, like i can see him as a visual now and i think he looked really good this ep!!! to me visuals are cxk wmt zqb djy and maybe also hyf zpl yeeaaaaaaa but i mean ill say again, i just love ygy’s smile :’) 

[domain-of-friendship-blog]

Episode 3-4

As the sun began to sink slowly beyond the horizon, four ponies followed the path leading to a small cottage on the outskirts of the forest.

"Oh, I hope she isn't too bothered," Twilight whispered, glancing at Rarity. "If she reacts the same way you did, this might just backfire; I'm not sure how much longer Princess Luna's patience will hold out."

Rarity's ears folded back for a moment as she cringed in response. "Perhaps one of us should run ahead and warn her? I'm sure the poor dear would appreciate a bit of advance notice anyway."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "Won't it seem suspicious if we do that though...?"

Waterwing glanced back at Luna trailing a few paces behind them. Though she faced toward the setting sun, it didn't seem like she was staring intentionally at anything in particular, instead thoroughly lost in her own thoughts. <Maybe not...>

After watching Luna apprehensively for a moment, Twilight turned to her companions and nodded. "Alright. You two go ahead, then; I'll keep an eye on her."

Before long, Rarity and Waterwing found themselves on the front porch of Fluttershy's cottage, checking periodically over their shoulders to see how long they had until Twilight and Luna caught up.

"Oh, I do hope this works..." Rarity quickly rapped her hoof against the door.

Several seconds passed in silence, during which the two shared worried glances... but soon enough, the door slowly creaked open, revealing a yellow pegasus smiling at them.

"Rarity! Waterwing!" Fluttershy backed up a few steps, pulling the door open wide to allow her guests entry. "Um... please, come on in!"

Waterwing fluttered her way inside, landing beside Fluttershy just long enough to gently nuzzle her cheek.

"Ever so sorry to pop in unannounced, dear," Rarity explained, "but we were hoping to ask you for... a favor of sorts."

Fluttershy's smile broadened. "Oh, of course! I'd be happy to help. What is it?"

Rarity took a deep breath and spoke rather quickly. "Twilight accepted a visitor to town on behalf of Princess Celestia but the poor dear has been having a rough go of things and we thought perhaps your particular brand of hospitality might be just what she needs!"

"Oh gosh..." A look of concern crossed Fluttershy's face as she raised a hoof to her mouth in contemplation. "I mean, I'm still definitely here to help, especially if it's also for Princess Celestia, but..." She glanced out the window, but saw no sight of the mystery guest just yet and turned back to her friends. "Um... who is it, exactly?"

Waterwing hesitated for a moment before responding. <Moon pony.>

Fluttershy's eyes stretched so wide in instantaneous comprehension that Waterwing was impressed they didn't immediately free themselves from the confines of her head.

"N-N-Nightmare M-Moon??" Fluttershy shuffled backward in alarm, stopping only once she'd bumped into the couch a few paces behind her and emitted a startled squeak. Without missing a beat, she spun around, covered her head with her forelegs, and ducked beneath the couch for shelter.

Sighing silently, Waterwing took a seat next to the trembling Fluttershy and began brushing her side with a gentle hoof.

"Fluttershy, dear, there's nothing to worry about!" Rarity took a seat opposite Waterwing. "We defeated that nasty brute, don't you remember? Princess Luna is back to her old self again, and she has you to thank for it!"

"That... that's true," came a voice from beneath the couch. A moment later, Fluttershy made her way out from under it and sat up, glancing between Rarity and Waterwing before sighing. "Okay... I'll do it."

<Thank you thank you thank you!> Waterwing barely finished signing before wrapping her forelegs around Fluttershy's neck.

Smiling once again, Fluttershy carefully nudged at the enthusiastic Waterwing to encourage her to let go. "Why don't I put the kettle on for some tea then?"

"That sounds marvelous," Rarity agreed.

A knock came from the front door just as Fluttershy returned from the kitchen. Visibly nervous, she glanced at her friends once again, both nodding to her in response. Steeling herself, she approached the door and slowly drew it open. "H-Hello...?"

Two faces greeted her. The first was Twilight, wearing the most artificial smile Fluttershy had ever seen; the other, only vaguely familiar yet still ostensibly Princess Luna, her expression entirely inscrutable. Fluttershy's eyes flitted between the two of them and the floor, what little confidence she'd managed to summon quickly ebbing.

Waterwing flew to Fluttershy's side and waved at the pair standing on the doorstep.

"O-Oh..." Composing herself as best she could, Fluttershy pulled the door open the rest of the way to let them inside. "Please, um... come in, Princess!"

Luna soon found herself curiously examining the cottage's modest interior, her eyes shifting from the numerous bird houses hanging from the ceiling to a comfortable-looking couch flanked by end tables.

"Um, h-have a seat, if... if you want," Fluttershy stammered, gesturing toward the couch Luna had been eyeing. "The tea should, um, be ready soon."

Luna gingerly sat down as offered and glanced back up at the ceiling. "Do... you collect bird houses, then?"

Taken aback by the unanticipated question, Fluttershy's gaze fell to the floor.

Twilight gently put a foreleg over Fluttershy's shoulders. "Fluttershy is our resident animal expert. She helps care for a number of needy animals that aren't sick or injured enough to require a vet."

Fluttershy's expression brightened somewhat. "Things have been... a little quiet lately though. It's just me and Angel in the house today."

Luna blinked. "Angel?"

"Angel Bunny. He's, um... my bunny," Fluttershy clarified. "Do... you like animals, Princess?"

Luna looked pensive for a moment. "...I cannot say. Truth be told, I never had much occasion to spend time with them."

"Why don't you go find him then, Fluttershy?" Twilight suggested. "I think the Princess will like him."

"I could do that..." Fluttershy had hardly made it two steps toward her objective before stopping in her tracks and glancing back toward the kitchen. "Oh, but the tea is - "

" - already taken care of, darling!"

Rarity waved her hoof toward the kitchen as Waterwing emerged from it, carrying a large tray laden with a tea server, several dainty-looking ceramic cups, and a sugar bowl. Fluttering her way over to the couch, she held it out toward Luna, whose magic quickly filled one of the cups with tea and a small spoonful of sugar and stirred for a moment before lifting it to her lips for a sip.

"Hm...?" It was then Luna noticed that Waterwing appeared to be watching her carefully, and spent a moment staring back in reply. Was she waiting for something? "Er, thank you...?"

Whatever it was, her slightly deflated expression suggested that apparently wasn't it.

Luna glanced away for a moment, hoping for a diversion. Why was this pony paying so much attention to her all of a sudden? She was used to being waited on, but this felt... different. "Is something wrong?"

Waterwing shook her head, busying herself with gently placing the tea tray on the nearby end table. Before the princess could ponder the matter any further, however, Waterwing's smile returned as she waved over a pleased-looking Fluttershy, a white rabbit perched on her back. Waterwing immediately scooped up Angel in her forelegs and gave him a friendly nuzzle, prompting the bunny to squirm uselessly in an attempt to free himself from her overly enthusiastic grip.

"Say hello to the Princess, Angel," Fluttershy suggested.

This apparently got the little bunny's attention, as he ceased squirming to look up at Luna. Had he understood what Fluttershy's words meant? She wasn't sure whether or not asking for clarification would be impolite. Before she could decide, however, she realized Waterwing was now holding Angel out toward her.

Fluttershy's gaze shifted rapidly between the bunny and the floor. "Um, would you... like to hold him, Princess...?"

Would she? It was a simple question, but Luna found herself without an immediate answer. In obvious encouragement, Waterwing inched forward, the proffered bunny now nearly in Luna's lap already. Slowly, she magically set down her tea cup before reaching forward with her forelegs and taking hold of Angel, who began sniffing at her curiously.

It was only as she looked up to see Waterwing with that expectant look on her face once again that it finally dawned on Luna: the quiet at the edge of town, the warm tea, the soft bunny now cradled in her lap, and the gaggle of ponies who had been caring for her all evening...

She liked it. In spite of the awkwardness - both hers and theirs - she was comfortable. In fact, she hadn't been this comfortable in so long that she'd all but forgotten what it even felt like. It was delightful.

And she couldn't take it anymore.

"...I must go. Now," Luna whispered, magically lifting Angel and dropping him unceremoniously onto Fluttershy's head as she leapt from the couch and marched toward the door.

The color immediately began draining from Twilight's face as she scrambled to keep up. "P-Princess? What's wrong? I'm so sorry if we offended you!"

"Offended...?" Luna stopped, the door knob already glowing in her magical grasp. "No, Twilight Sparkle. I am not offended."

Twilight gasped as she watched a tear roll down Luna's cheek.

"You four have spent this entire evening doing your best to make me feel welcome... and I am not so foolish as to believe that it has been purely at the behest of my sister," Luna explained. "So, then. Why? Why do you do this for me?"

"W... Why?" Twilight echoed, ears folded back. She turned to her friends, her heart sinking as she saw them looking just as shocked and confused as she felt. "Why wouldn't w - "

"Because I tried to kill you, Twilight Sparkle!" Luna bellowed, whirling around to face Twilight. "You and all your friends! You should hate me even more than the townsfolk do - I tried to take their beloved sovereign away, and now they slam doors in my face! Yet you act as though I have done nothing wrong, offering me dinner, and dresses, and... bunny rabbits." She fell backward onto her haunches, looking exhausted. "I deserve none of this."

Silence followed this proclamation. No one knew what to say, if there was even anything to be said. Unfortunately, it was soon broken by Luna.

"I should have stayed up there."

Without waiting for a response, the distraught princess climbed up on all fours, willed the door open with her magic, flared her wings, and took off.

"Wait! Princess Luna...!" Twilight galloped to the doorway, but by the time she reached it, Luna was already out of earshot, fading into the darkening sky.

The room fell silent once again. Twilight staggered backward, showly shaking her head in disbelief; only when she felt Waterwing's hoof brush her side did she snap back to attention.

"I... I'm sorry, everypony," Twilight muttered. "This is all my fault..."

"Twilight, it is not and you know it," Rarity insisted. "She just has to work a few things out on her own, that's all. It's not something we can fix."

<Not fix, but can still help.>

Fluttershy tilted her head at Waterwing's claim. "What do you mean?"

Waterwing turned to Twilight. <When is train?>

Twilight wiped at her watery eye with her foreleg and glanced at a nearby clock. "The train to pick her up will be here in less than an hour."

<Good!> Waterwing pointed at the doorway. <Back to tree. Must write!>

Twilight blinked. "You... want to write something?"

Waterwing nodded. <Too much word, not enough sign. Must write. Purple friend help.>

Twilight scratched her head. "I'm... not sure I understand."

<No time! Hurry!> With that, Waterwing hopped into the air and flew out the door, trailing three perplexed ponies in her wake.

Previous Chapter

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[sambart93]

2018.06.01 PuriStage Episode 5 [Review]

This is the final one, I think, I hope. And of course I went! Because I am trash and have an addiction problem that I can’t get over xD I really shouldn’t have but, I got a ticket so might as well go!

Official Website here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1 PreOrder DVD here Online Store here Previous Reviews of the Series: Episode One, Episode Two, Episode Three, Episode Four

CAST and CHARACTERS

Hounan Izaki Ryuujirou as Yagami Riku Aoki Jin as Fujiwara Takeru Matsunaga Arisa as Sakurai Nana Kumagai Kaito as Hozumi Kohinata Kishimoto Takuya as Hasekura Heath Shiraishi Kosuke as Kadowaki Ayumu Ayukawa Taiyou as Kuga Kyousuke Arai Yusuke as Dan Yujiro Mizukoshi Ayumi as Kawarazaki Riko

Saisei Hiramaki Jin as Suwa Reiji Kobayashi Ryo as Mayuzumi Shizuma

Mihashi Kanegae Kou as Kamoda Kei Sawada Takurou as Eifuku Takeshi Yokoyama Masafumi as Nagatsuka Nobuhiko

Ichijyoukan Murata Hisashi as Himemiya Yuri Tanabe Ken as Shishibara Kaoru Asegawa Kenta as Samejima Arata Matsumoto Yui as Hachiya Tetsu

Ichiba Murakami Wataru as Izumi Shinobu Taguchi Ryo as Tomaru Kansuke Iwase Koki as Masunari Ikki

Tsubakimachi Suga Masanori as Minato Shugo Nakamura Tarou as Sata Kazuki Kurosaki Reon as Shizuno Makoto

Kakyouin Kitamura Kento as Yagami Tomoe Harano Masaki as Natsunagi Toya Maruyama Nao as Izumino Hajime Ohashi Noryuki as Izumino Ryo Masuda Yuki as Sakurai Joe

OTHER Kobayashi Shuuji as Piece of shit DJ Stride HAYATE as Isurugi Isamu

*

NON-SPOILER REVIEW Overall: This was so much better than (at least) the last one (Episode 4)! This was so much more enjoyable and interesting and just a lot of fun to watch! I almost didn’t go this time because while I love the anime and I was super hyped for the stage series, it’s always been pretty forgettable to me. So I nearly didn’t go because whats the point when I keep getting disappointed and none of my oshis are in it but... my fav character was back, Himemiya, I have this huge crush on Hiramaki Jin still, and he’s back this time around by some miracle(!), and we knew it was going to be a completely different story so I was interested in seeing something I couldn’t have expectations for but was with a cast/characters I liked. So I went... 

Also every time I’ve had freaking amazing seats. Episode 1: row 5, Episode 2: 10th row, aisle, Episode 3: 11th row aisle, 4th row: 11th row left side and this time: 7th row aisle. You can’t give up luck like that, can you?! And the seat alone is a big enough reason to say this time was so much better! Because of my seat, I had Hiramaki Jin RIGHT behind me. I had Kanegae’s butt right in my face. I have Aoki Jin run past me so fast. I had Izaki run past me and my hair just blew back. During curtain call I’m pretty sure KishiTaku spotted and remembered me and he got this amused smile on his face and wouldn’t look away (I was in my seat WISHING a kankeisha was behind me but I knew there wasn’t). Everyone outside of the stage/story itself was such a good experience. And can I just remind everyone how amazing the pre-show music is?! I freaking love it! Just let me sit in that theatre for 2 hours listening to that pre-show music please!! Or give me a gosh darn CD! xD Then the story itself; it was so interesting! I LOVE what they did and the character dynamics! It was sooooooo good! This stage allowed the lesser ‘important’ characters to develop and show their personalities which was nice. And then the stunts!! Again, please like Aoki Jin just stood out. It was a LOT more obvious this time who had kept up with their training and who hadn’t which made those that had carried on, stand out and look even more amazing -- although I was relieved to see Izaki’s knee muscles had softened a little. And we had freaking Hayate who did (what I think) is the most dangerous stunt of them all and you literally heard the entirety of the audience shit themselves and gasp. It was amazing. OH! The length this time was just right! It’s 2 hours and 20 minutes! I remember being so pissed when episode 4 came about and it was like less than 2 hours (turns out it was supposed to be 2 hours and 10 minutes) and no break. HOW CAN A FINALE BE THE SHORTEST ONE?! Anyway... this was the perfect length for them this time I think - especially because this one is a stand alone story. The character development was really good too! Especially Riku and his brother. And the other school’s members development too was great! I was so emotionally involved this time around that I was crying at the end at a few parts! This was just SO MUCH BETTER! If they’re gunna keep doing PuriStage like THIS one then please, bring out 5 more and I’ll definitely go! My literally only one (new) complaint is the ending. But that’s spoilers so I’ll talk about that later. My complaints about DJ Stride and Nana still stand though. OH! And the AfterTalk was so much fun too! Rating: 7.5/10

SPOILER REVIEW

STORY

So certain members of each school have been selected to join the EAST JAPAN national(?) team, obviously this causes the not-selected team members to either be pissed, get hurt, feel jealous or feel left out, which leads them to create their own rival team: vs East Japan. And so these two teams compete to see who really deserves to be given professional Stride opportunities. Meanwhile, Tomoe gives up Stride so he can take over and continue the family bakery, stating he doesn’t want to do Stride anymore.

*

That’s the bare basics of this story and that is all you really need to know about the story because it focuses very heavily on everyone’s relationships. Suddenly teams are getting broken apart because one or two of them have been picked for this national team which means they can’t go to their school’s training etc. On top of that, because of the rival team, old team mates are now competing against each other so it’s like “I want to beat you but I still want to be your friend after all this” which causes tension. There’s also tension WITHIN the groups themselves. They ALL used to be rivals and now they have to start working together as a team?! Course that ain’t gunna go so smoothly! The story is just SO damn good! I absolutely loved that the teams mixed and they had to start working together and the conflicts and problems that arised within and between the two groups/teams were so great!!! It got even more juicy when the school members would be AGAINST each other in the races! My favourite was definitely Himemiya versus Hachiya! Oh my emotions... they kept/keep ALL the ‘versus’ pairings a secret until you actually see the stage so they were all surprises to us, which I loved! Although I know my friend said she would’ve preferred it if she’d known about who was racing who BEFORE the show. But personally I think that would’ve ruined a few things such as who’s on who’s team and things. Other pairings like Riku vs Takeru were blatantly obvious they were going to happen so I still stand by that I agree with Trifle for not revealing the teams and rival pairings beforehand.

A huge plus this time around, as stated above, was the fact it was an original story. So while we all knew these characters and we liked them, we were getting something different, something exciting, something we didn’t technically know (maybe this story is part of the game? But from the way they kept the pairing and the pairing bromides a secret makes me think it was an original story for the stage), and because of the story splitting the teams up, we could get some less known characters or less popular characters into the spotlight, or we could get more character development from others. It definitely felt like Hounan was the less interesting and less main this time around which was great and we could focus on others. Even though Riku and Hounan are technically still the main focus, I felt this stage gave them less time and more time to others. Which, me being bias towards others, was a godsend! We like how we spent more time with Takeru rather than Riku this time too and we got to see more of his development and his struggle and I felt he was more relate-able this time around.

The main character development I was happy about was the rift that occurs within Ichijyoukan. We have Himemiya and Shishibara being picked for the EAST JAPAN team while Samejima and Hachiya have been left behind and join the Versus team. And then, as said before, it gets even more juicy when Hachiya and Himemiya go head-to-head; you can see how much Hachiya respects and loves Himemiya and I love how no matter what happens in the race, it isn’t going to cause bad blood between them. And there’s this BEAUTIFUL scene towards the end when Himemiya has been chosen to go further in the EAST JAPAN selection series while the other three are being left behind and they got him a signed Ichijyoukan towel and it seems like he isn’t interest but then (I’m going to tear up thinking about it!) he swings the towel behind him and wears it almost like a flag around him and I just got so emotional - Himemiya is a little shit but you can tell he cares for his teammates, he appreciates them, he supports them even though it looks like all he focuses on is winning.... ahhh my heart!!

Also, with this shift in character/team focus, some lesser appreciated characters got more love. The three that caught my eye were Natsunagi Toya, Tomaru Kansuke and Kamoda Kei. And what got me cracking up part way through about these characters/cast most of all was that I couldn’t help they all felt like my friends’-oshis and when I spoke to my friends after they were like ‘yup that’s one of mine’ xD BUT I love how much more time they got! I’ve always liked Natsunagi and his actor - I’ve always thought he was totally adorable in the anime and the actor himself looks totally adorable, in fact he reminds me of someone.... the Yamanaka twins maybe? -- and he got more time in this which was so nice! Then we had Taguchi/Tomaru (by the way, his picture on the PuriStage site does not do him justice, he looks MUCH cuter in real life) and he has some issues to work through this time around and he takes his anger out on people and for quite a while he has a lot of frustration and he’s upset about the whole EAST JAPAN and not being chosen for it etc. I think his yelling scene was very well done and it shows just how little hope he has even though he’s good enough to be in the Versus group. And then we had Kamoda; it DID help I got that moment where he butt was right in front of my face but this time around he just seemed much more interesting to me and he’s cute so can you blame me?!

As for the new people... there were 5:

Matsunaga Arisa as Sakurai Nana Team Tsubakimachi: Suga Masanori as Minato Shugo, Nakamura Tarou as Sata Kazuki and Kurosaki Reon as Shizuno Makoto. HAYATE as Isurugi Isamu

We all know, I don’t give a shit about Nana, you can take her out completely and I’d be more satisfied. I GET why she is so predominate in the main story, I GET IT but I just don’t want her in it. She annoys me, she’s not exactly interesting, she’s only in it because of her father (yes I went there), just no thank you. Don’t care how many times you change the actress. Just leave. Yes the actresses are very nice and very sweet and I like actresses who’ve played her. I just don’t like Nana. MOVE ALONG.

Ah man Tsubakimachi.... I HATED these guys!! Well two of them. As soon as they came onstage I fucking hated Shizuno Makoto - this bratty arrogant cock head. And just UGH go die Minato Shugo; his hair is TOO anime and annoying as fuck and oh my god, don’t get me started on his voice. Maybe like 10 years ago I would’ve like the stereotypical ‘hair covering eyes and a soft voice’ character but now they just ANNOY me. UGH....

BUT SATA KAZUKI! OH MY! I LOVED THIS BOY STRAIGHT AWAY!!! And the actor Tarou too! His so tall and lean and he’s a good mixture of competitive and devoted but also a little shit. I love how we have the backstory of Kata and Takeru used to be in the same Stride group and Kata bullied him because naturally my brain goes ‘SEXUAL TENSION!!!’ and just... Kata is sexy and mean and great okay!! He doesn’t go overboard like Izumi-mean (if you catch my EnStar/EnStage reference there) in terms of bullying but OH! Did I mention he’s sexy?! I looooooooooved him and he has the whole jacket falling off one shoulder that just so sexy.... ohmyyyyy. But his two team mates are fuckheads okay.

I really want to see Kata and Takeru go head to head. Can we have a spin off which them in middle school and see what it was like? Or should I just go and doujinshi that shit?

So lets just have some appreciation for ALL the non-Hounan guys that entertained me and that I loved in Episode 5

HAYATE! Oh my Hayate is the BOMB! We all know people like Aoki Jin are really talented and good at the stuff in PuriStage but holy fuck, this old man is LEAGUES above everyone else. It never registered with me before but he did ALL the choreography and parcour training for these boys in PuriStage! He did it ALL! And you can tell why! Holy shit... he was doing his own stunts! He was JUMPING OFF the top platforms and onto the floor and it was so flawless and so freaking amazing and he’d doing it while HOLDING ONTO HIS HAT! Like straight away the ability level is way above everyone else. And then he has one scene where he’s training EAST JAPAN team (he’s in charge of them) and he asks what would be the best way to get over this one course; so three of the boys give three different ways and he’s like ‘you’re all right but slow so y’all wrong’ and he proceeds to show them the right way and he literally jumps ONTO A BAR! THE BAR IS LIKE 7+ FEET IN THE AIR. HE JUMPS ON THIS BAR WITH ONE FOOT and has enough power to jump onto a different platform! WHAT THE FUCK?!!? This was the moment that audience absolutely SHIT themselves. There were actual gasps during this moment and the entire room got tense and it was crazy. I’ll be replaying the SHIT out of that scene when it’s on DVD. Seriously, MY explanation is not giving it justice. He JUMPED from a 7+ ft platform onto a SINGLE BAR and onto another 5 ft high platform... WTF?!?!?!? Aoki Jin, you’re good but Hayate clearly showed how superior he is to everyone there for this sport that isn’t even real xD

Can you clearly see how much more I enjoyed this episode?! It took 4 stages (like 8 hours of wasted time... more like 13 if you include goods lines and stuff haha) but we got to a part that was just soooo juicy and gooooddd!! Seriously, PuriStage can continue their series so long as they continue doing things like this; original plot lines, other school focuses, mixed up competitions etc. YES!

And how could I forget to talk about my beloved Hiramaki Jin <3 I was a little worried partway through the show because in the beginning in the opening he was running around the stage just like everyone else but then in the actual play himself, he and Kobayashi were in their uniforms. BUT in the second half they turn up in EAST JAPAN and Jin runs in the final EAST JAPAN versus VS EAST JAPAN match. Kobayashi explains that Jin/Reiji does actually want this and so they cancelled their live for Reiji -- which is the sweetest thing ever!!! So Jin ran in the last race and of course looked great! But before the match he came into the audience area and he was right behind me and I just couldn’t stop looking. He’s so pretty and I’m so glad he was back this time around *cries* I understand why these two spent so much time out of the main story and why they were in it this time; one is to create mystery ‘why they in it if they ain’t going to race?’, another is because they’re damn popular characters you have to have them, another is the actors themselves almost always work with Trifle now so clearly they have a good relationship with the cast, staff and crew so they probably got asked if they wanted to return and did so, another reason is that these guys are much older than the other cast so in order to keep them safe and not over-worked they didn’t give them big whole chunks of Stride-ing. We don’t want wonderful actors like Jin and Kobayashi and KishiTaku getting hurt do we! We leads me actually TO KishiTaku! He also spent a lot of time NOT Stride-ing this time around and again I get it’s because of his age; he still did a damn good job when he DID Stride, just like Jin did, but they convenietly brought back in ‘Heath your injury is bad again isn’t it?’ in order to keep KishiTaku from stretching himself too far. I get all these reasons why they did what they did.

PS. No way am I complaining, I just felt the need to explain to those who maybe see the DVD and love one of these actors or characters and question ‘well what’s the point if they ain’t doing Stride?’ so here you go.

Ahhh Jin....

But Alex, what about the main guys?! Okay... I guess I’ll talk about them...

So the main part of the main characters/school this time is Riku and Tomoe’s relationship, and Riku’s character development (because isn’t it always *yawn* he’s so immature and I feel he never really develops). Riku is obviously hurt that Takeru got picked over him to be in EAST JAPAN so he has some hurt feelings towards the team and towards himself rather than Takeru - which is good - and he wonders why he was not good enough. Then we have the Tomoe plot line; he gives up Stride in order to help at the bakery because their father is ill. While Tomoe explains that he’s in his final year, he can’t do Stride forever and he always planned on taking over the store anyway, so might as well leave now before he gets scouted for EAST JAPAN or something. And stupid Riku takes it from face value and believes Tomoe!! What an idiot! But slowly, people like Heath go to his shop and ask ‘is this really what you want?’ and we also have Taiyou’s voice as NAME HERE calling from America (which is why he isn’t here this time) and telling him ‘the three of us should race together again’ so Tomoe starts to face his real feelings again. There is this beautiful moment towards the end where he gets back into his Stride gear and he’s racing and he finally admits and yells ‘I WANT TO DO STRIDE’ and I was so emotionally involved with him by that point that I was just streaming!

Some other scenes that I love were just so ridiculous and cracked me up. I love how the banana joked carried on from the previous stages in this one and we had one of the PURPLE GUYS taking the banana and eating a massive chunk of it in one go xD Also we had the twins from THE OHTER SCHOOL who had the weirdest warming up stretches and stuff and 50% of the audience were too busy watching and laughing at them rather than paying attention to the slightly serious topics going on between the rest of the EAST JAPAN members xD and sometimes one of the characters would point out and go ‘what the fuck are they doing?! Do you see this?!’ which was hilarious!

I loved the ending when GLASSES GUY was crying and acting like a mother watching her son go to war with the whole handkerchief in hand and waving pose xD speaking of the ending; I didn’t like it. I really like how Takeru is the only one to get picked to go the international races and he’s about to go and Nana and Riku are like ‘don’t worry, we’ll see you there next year’ which was beautiful BUT THEN THEY HAD TO RUIN IT and Dan-sensei gets a call and they’re requesting at Riku and Nana join the team too so they don’t have to wait a year and I thought it completely ruined it. WHY?! WHY?!?!? It was perfect and mature of them being okay with Takeru going off on his own, WHY did you have to.... anime-cliche it and allow the others to go too?! OHHHH I really hate this ending. WHY?!

Unfortunately we’re finishing on a negative here ^^^^ but in general I really, really enjoyed this installment! So much better then episode 4 for definite, so much better than the main story. I really loved this one! I kinda of hope we will get another but judging from tweets and stuff, it sounds like this really was the last one -- at least with this cast... but time will tell.

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I am sooooooooo behind as usual, even though I only had two plays this month! I had an entire month to catch up and I just didn’t! I SUCK! I’m sorry. And July... holy shit July is fucking crazy.... prepare yourselves for THAT schedule.