#I didn’t even drink a full cup it was only like 2/3rds of one

[8-birdparagon]

Guess who decided that it couldn’t hurt to drink a bit of coffee and is now experiencing the consequences of their actions

[halstudandruz]

Had Me By Halftime

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Kevin Atwater x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Based off the song Had Me By Halftime by Morgan Wallen

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: I know this game was on a Monday but we’re gonna pretend it wasn’t. Also I know there’s different rules to cornhole, but I did the 21 or bust version for sake of the story.

You were talkin' trash, we were tossin' bags

When I caught your name at a corn hole game

You and your friends had decided to tailgate at the Chicago Bears game. You were in your last semester of college and your group had collectively decided to forego buying tickets. Not wanting nosebleed seats, but knowing your broke college student bank account would not offer many other options. The parking lot was crowded with Bears fans; scattered Minnesota Vikings fans sticking out in the crowd. It was surprisingly warm for a Chicago October. You had just finished a game of flip cup and informed your friends you were going to get food from a nearby food truck, your best friend, Madison tagging along. You hadn’t made it far from your group when you made eye contact with a handsome man. Slowly walking you heard him talking to a man about the same age as him,

“Adam come on!” He exclaimed.

“I am not playing against him, he might as well be a pro.” The brown haired man shook his head.

“Don’t take it out on me cause I’m better than you.” Another good-looking brown-haired man from the group laughed shrugging and throwing an arm around a pretty blonde girl who wasn’t even paying attention to the men, already conversing with a group of girls. The handsome dark skinned man groaned seemingly pouting. Grabbing Madison’s arm you stopped her to pull her over to the group.

“You need a couple players?” You smiled gesturing to the corn hole boards.

“Actually yeah we do.” He nodded.

“Let’s roll.” You challenged taking your place by the board and picking up the orange bean bags. Madison sighed already reading your dirty thoughts about the man as she walked to the board opposite of you and the broad muscled man took his place next to you, gathering the navy blue bags. “Let me just get you a menu cause you’re about to get served.” You joked and luckily he let out an adorable laugh.

“That’s the best you got?” He sported a wide smile causing you to instantly blush.

“Yeah...sorry I’m not the best at trash talking. My game usually speaks for itself.” You shrugged, turning to throw the bean bag on the board Madison stood by. Watching it slide right through the center. Humming he looked at you impressed, gearing up when you threw him a seductive smirk.

“Let the games begin.” He grinned.

The game was close, full of playful banter, and maybe a little flirting from you and the man you now knew was named, Kevin. Luckily you and Madison came out on top thanks to Kevin’s partner’s accidental bust over 21 taking their score back down to 13.

“Ruz, you might want to take up a math class in your spare time.” Kevin teased, knowing he only aimed for the board because of his poor math skills.

“Shut up.” He attempted to throw a bag at him, but it fell short. “I’m never playing this game again.” Adam huffed, walking away.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” You shrugged, winking at him.

Said "Girl, where you sitti'g? I got an extra ticket

It's right on the 50"

“Sorry. He gets a little competitive.” Kevin smiled, “Thanks for playing though.” He leaned against the side of a truck crossing his arms. Madison stood awkwardly a couple feet away as you two flirted with each other.

“Thanks for letting us. It was nice to do something other than a drinking game for once.” You chuckled gesturing to where your group was now playing beer pong.

“Where are you guys sitting?” He asked gesturing to the stadium behind him.

“Oh we actually don’t have tickets. Just here to tailgate.” You explained and his smile got slightly bigger.

“Well I actually have an extra ticket. It’s right on the 50 if you want to join me?” He offered.

“Thanks, but I don’t want to just leave my group hanging..” You contemplated looking back at Madison who was nodding quickly mouthing the word “Go!” Sighing you turned back towards him with a smile, “you know what. What the hell why not?” You pushed the tingling of your body deeper down at his happy grin.

You had a 16 home team jersey on

Singin' every word to the fight song

Had your airplane bottles from your purse out

“Okay. I have to ask. Why are you wearing that jersey?” Kevin asked, sitting down beside you.

“Because we’re at...a Bears game?” You looked at him skeptically, causing him to laugh.

“Obviously.. I mean why O’Donnell? I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone actually wearing his jersey.” He explained.

“Well I do like to be an outlier,” you joked, “punters never get the credit they should. Same with kickers. They deserve more love.” You answered.

“Good to know you’re not a bandwagon fan.” He said.

“We won one super bowl 35 years ago and we just benched our newly signed QB for a rookie. I don’t think there’s any wagon for someone to hop on.” You retorted.

“You got me there.” He agreed watching you pull a few tiny bottles of alcohol out of your small bag you had strategically hidden to make it past security.

“You a fan of fireball? I hate it but it came with the pack.” You asked, turning to see an amused grin covering his face. “What?”

“How in the hell did you sneak those in here?” He inquired.

“Can’t give away all my secrets on the first date.” You shrugged, wiggling your eyebrows. He took it from your hand nudging Adam who sat on his other side. Adam took it graciously.

“Hell yeah. We’re keeping her!” He exclaimed, twisting the cap off to take the shot.

The first half of the game was rough. Only lucking out with a safety in the first quarter.

“I hope to god Trubisky starts to prove he has more than just a pretty face.” You shook your head preparing yourself for the second half. You and Kevin had talked throughout all of halftime, and you caught him staring with a wide smile more than once as you might’ve got a little too competitive throughout the first and second quarter.

“I could play better defense than his line is. Kev, get down there you know how to tackle people.”

“He does realize he’s supposed to be throwing it to his own team right?”

“Fucking 2 yards isn’t gonna get you anywhere!” Were just a few things you remember spouting off.

“This is ridiculous.” You threw up your hands when Rudolph took it into the Vikings endzone.

With 5:33 left in the 3rd quarter O’Donnell took the field for the punt, but instead to everyone’s surprise the punt is faked and #16 puts up a pass to Cunningham who runs it in for the touchdown. “Oh my god!” You jumped up and down, “No fucking way! That’s my man!” You yelled pulling Kevin in for a hug who was in utter disbelief.

“I cannot believe that just happened.” He laughed, cheering with the crowd. The fans were hyped watching Barth kick it between the posts.

“Believe it baby!

Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;

Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.

Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.

You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.” You sang along loudly to the Bears’ fight song roaring throughout Soldier Field. The second half was much more heated than the first, but unfortunately thanks to a successful kick from Forbath in the last few seconds the Vikings took home the win.

You would've thought that post-game

Kiss would've made me wanna make you mine

But you had me by halftime

Everyone was starting to file out of the stadium, Kevin’s group included.

“You comin?” Adam turned to you both.

“You wanna wait till the crowds disperse a little?” Kevin asked and you smiled nodding.

“We’ll be waiting for you.” Adam winked, a knowing smirk covering his face as he grabbed tightly ahold of Kim’s hand to lead her through the crowd.

“You would’ve had to keep a tight hold on me. I’m small and can get lost easily.” You joked, body frame tiny compared to his broad muscular one.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I do regardless.” Kevin flirted, looping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

“I told you. Punters and kickers, they don’t get enough credit.” You reiterated, “I mean how often does the game come down to a field goal? Too often in my opinion.”

“I can give you kicker I’m not sure about punters though.” He looked at you amused.

“Did you miss that play?” You scoffed.

“And how often does that happen? I’m sure you didn’t buy his jersey banking on that.” He replied.

“Yeah, alright. I just thought O’Donnell was better looking than Barth.” You admitted.

“You really know your football though.” He observed.

“I grew up with three brothers. It just came with the territory.” You explained.

“Three brothers?” He looked over at you, a faint look of fear appearing on his face.

“Yeah, I’m sure you could take any of them though.” You bit your lip squeezing his bicep to get your point across.

“Is that so?” He grinned face inches away from yours.

“Mhmm.” You hummed searching his eyes, begging him to make the move and he did. Closing the distant for a gentle, smooth kiss. His hand caressing your cheek to pull you closer. This is nowhere near what you expected your day to turn into when you got up this morning. You were just supposed to be tailgating with your friends too drunk for your own good. Instead you were seated inside the stadium making out with a guy you had just met this morning. Not that you were complaining, but what were the chances?

“Was that okay?” He asked lips still slightly brushing against yours and as an answer you gripped his face pulling him in for a deep bruising kiss that had him groaning low in his throat. Pulling away to get a breath you looked around to see very few people still seated, a warmth buzzing throughout your body despite the chilly fall air becoming more prominent.

“We better get out of here before we get in trouble.” You whispered. And he nodded tightly clasping your hand in his as you made your way out of the stadium back out into the parking lot.

Now every time the leaves start fallin' down

I get to thinkin' 'bout

5 years later

“Kev, can you check on the pizza while I get Carsyn dressed?” You asked after seeing your daughter stir from her nap on the monitor. Walking in her room you retrieved her from the crib. She was all smiles and giggles. “Well I take it you had a good nap.” You kissed her chubby cheek, attempting to flatten her bed head before laying her on the floor to get her dressed. “Daddy is just gonna be head over heels when he sees you. Not that he isn’t already.” You smiled trying to slide her tights on despite her wiggling legs. Succeedingly picking her up 10 minutes later. “Look who’s awake daddy.” You caught Kevin’s attention as he turned away from the stove to take her from your arms.

“You didn’t.” Kevin laughed, a smile wide on his face when he took his daughter into his arms admiring the outfit she was sporting. A blue tutu accompanied by an orange jersey that repped the #16, outfit topped off with a Chicago Bears bow. “Well don’t you just look adorable. Yes, you take after your mama.” Kevin laid kisses all over her face erupting numerous giggles from her. “Where’d you even find this at?” He asked and you knew what he was talking about without even turning around as you took the pizza out of the oven.

“I had to specially order it as one of those custom name jerseys. Seems they don’t make O’Donnell’s jersey for babies.” You laughed checking on the wings in the air fryer when a knock at the door interrupted. Adam and Kim strolling their way into the kitchen minutes later.

“Where’s my girl?” Adam asked, spotting her in Kevin’s arms. Carsyn immediately reached out for Adam. “There she is and aren’t you just the cutest Bears fan in the whole world?” He tickled her stomach taking in her outfit, “Gotta say [Y/L/N] it looks better on her.” He joked gesturing to your identical jersey.

“Joke all you want this jersey got me a husband.” You leaned up on your tippy toes to lay a kiss on Kevin’s cheek.

The rest of your crew arrived not too much later. Hailey and Jay bringing along their son who was a few months younger than Carsyn. This was now a football season tradition and you loved every minute of it.

All Tag List:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee

[unknownwriting]

Summary: Hc binging a series

Characters: Trafalgar Water D. Law, Usopp, Nico Robin

Warnings: none :)

Notes: school is really getting in the way and I wanna cry so expect these semi-rushed hc :))

Trafalgar Water D. Law

Definitely Mostly watches superhero series: Gotham- yes, Superman- yup, any of the marvel shows- probably knows all the theories. This man is lowkey a huge fanboy and there’s no denying it.

Lowkey probably into Grey’s Anantony. He’ll make comments like ‘that’s so stupid’, ‘they did that all wrong’, ‘so much drama’, ‘they could’ve saved him another way.’ Although he watches it he still a doctor and can’t help but point it all out.

He’s not to big on snacks. He’ll have like only a drink and maybe a small bag of chips but that pretty much it.

In all honesty I can see Law liking tv series more than movies for many reasons: 1- he gets to spend more time with you whether it’s talking about therioes, ranting about something, or just cuddling and 2- he feel like they have more to them, like more mysteries, action, and times where the 2 of you have to think to figure out what’s gonna happen next, though, most of the time your doing all the thinking bc law figured it all out. But to save time, mostly do to his job, he sticks to movies.

Like I said before this man is into series that make you think, maybe even to the point your brain hurts but no matter what your thinking. I would give examples but my poor brain would be fried if I watched those series alone. But still this man needs something to keep in mind busy, and why not think. With that in mind, psychology or thrill is probably up his ally. Along with superheroes. Omg and when the 2 of you watch superheroes, you find it so cute when he fan boys. Ajhfsdjhdf you can’t tell me he is not cute.

Although, Law likes the keep his mind working bc this man is like hella smart occasionally he’ll watch some romance movie with you. Now of course don’t think you’ll get away wraith watching something like the Kissing Booth, he won’t have it. When it comes to romance your have 2 options, either an old romance like the note book or some superhero, like Wonder Woman.

But even if the 2 of you watch a fiancé movie it never last long anyways. Watching romance also ends in one thing: you 2 in bed :) You try to tell him that you just wanna watch he movie but Law is a surprisingly romantic person so he’s gonna wanna also show that he loves you. Kinda thinks the reasons you like the romance is because he’s not showinf you enough love but you didn’t here then from me.

Definitely the best person to talk to when it comes to theories and all that.

Because his crazy work schedule does tend to get in the away quite a lot, when the 2 of you do get to spend time with each other, you both make sure it’s to the fullest.

Usopp 

Usopp will watch almost anything with you, it might take some time but even horror

Hands down Usopp is one of the best people to watch a series with for many reasons. 1- he’ll watch almost anything 2- he’ll watch a series all the way through in one sitting but will only stop when one of you can’t sit still anymore or th sires has ended, duh. It doesn’t matter if it’s long or short, the 2 of you will watch until you eyes turn red.

If one of you end up falling asleep the other will always turn off the series no mater where you are at. Action just started but you fell asleep, usopp doesn’t even hesaite. Just found out the mystery behind the main characters dad is but Usopp fell asleep, you don’t even give it a 2nd thought and turn it off. 

The whole reason the 2 of you watch series together is to have someone to share the exsperance with and to have someone to talk to, rant, to, and cry with so if either of you watch ahead and/or spoil it, it defeats the whole purpose.

And finally the 3rd reasons is: Usopp knows how to binge. He’ll bring snakes, blankets, drinks, and all of it. And with that being said, it’s a know fact that the 2 of y’all will easily become couch potato partners, rarely even moving.

Like before, Usopp doesn’t really care what y’all watch, he just wants to be with you. But if he had a choice, I feel like he would prefer anime. Just because he can find like so many more options.

He’s also not really one for like thinking. So he’ll try to stay away from shows that Law might watch.

Sadly, although I’ve been talking like the 2 of y’all don’t have a life and just sit around and watching tv all the time, y’all do have a life. So there are some times where y’all won’t be able to watch tv and it might be a while till y’all do so. But, bc I wrote these hc with the idea that y’all are in college, y’all live together so when it’s a lot easier to watch tv shows together.

Robin

Robin’s not to big on tv shows or movies in the first place. She’s rather snuggle up with a book and a cup of coffee. However, she knows that you enjoy watching movies and tv shows together. So she doesn’t mind sitting down and enjoying a few shows/movies with you.

The only ‘rule’ she has when it comes to watching shows/movies is that she won’t watch movies and shows that are based on books. She won’t watch them at all, she’d rather read the book to get all the information and the full story

Besides that, she’s pretty open when it comes to shows/movies. She doesn’t mind watching what ever you wanna watch. She might not pay attention but she’ll watch it with you.

Like Law, for Robin to pay attention it would have to be a show with a lot of historical value that makes you think a bit. She loves discussing theories and ideas with you.

She’s also not to big on snacks, it could get messy and distracting so she tries to avoid them. Although, Robin doesn’t mind having a drink with her, like an ice tea, coffee or maybe something with alcohol in it.

With that being said, Robins not to big on snuggling up in blankets, either. Now that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy to cuddle, she just wants to be under and light blanket that is easy to get in and out from.

Robins also not one to spend the whole day watching shows either, she would prefer to do it at night and only watch maybe around 3-5 depending on the show. She also prefers to read so there aren’t many times where the 2 of can watch shows together but she never said she wouldn’t read while you watch the show.

Bc y’all’s daily schedules can vary with Robin working as an archaeologists, its not surprising when the 2 of y’all can’t really sit back and relax with each, so watching those shows/movies is a nice way for y’all to relax without exchanging any words and just enjoying each other’s company 

[darkenedreaper]

The Velvet Box

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: angst, lil fluff

A/n: requested by lovely @captain-josslett hope you enjoy honey

You and Natasha had been happily together for 2 years. The two of you had moved into a spare room within the compound. It was on the floor below her old room and it was on the same floor as your old room. Natasha was the happiest she’d been in a long time. The same for you.

After that extremely traumatic event that was your parents death, Natasha had become everything to you. You felt the desperate need to protect her, contrast to how you couldn’t protect your parents fro Hydra. The Avengers become your family. And you were deeply grateful.

Your shared room was simply decorated. There was some photos of the both of you and some of you and the Avengers scattered around the room. She had her own photo of you and her on her bedside table. It was a Polaroid, your arms were wrapped around her waist as she held the machine by her head with her hand, the other holding onto your wrist.

You and the Avengers had recently had a tough mission and had easily finished it. So Tony was holding a little dinner for all of you. Natasha had gotten ready putting on the finishing touches of her black dress, which ended just above her kneecaps. The straps of her dress left room to show off her collarbone and her shoes were black, only added to the beauty she had. Her red curls were perfectly draped over her back and arms and her mascara highlighted her eyes. You wore a black shirt that had 3 buttons open. Your shirt was tucked into your black pants and you wore a thin suit jacket over it. You had checked for the 100th time that the small velvet box was in your jacket pocket. And you made a mental note to not take it off. She came over and greeted you with a kiss on your cheek, raising her head slightly so she could reach you. You hadn’t worn a dress and you looked strong in that suit, which Natasha was fond off. But you still had that feminine shine. She linked your arm with yours and you left your room, lamp turned on to come back into after the small group party.

You had been gathered around the glass coffee table, Steve’s soft music was quietly playing on the speakers and you had made subtle eye contact with Clint and he knew it was time. He took away Steve, Bucky and Bruce. Which left Tony, Thor, Wanda and Vision. Tony got the hint and as you and Natasha were in conversation, Tony and Thor excused themselves as they were gently arguing over who had the best suit. Vision had left to go and make Wanda another cocktail and so Wanda rushes to his help, hoping to not have another incident in where the drink spilt all over the counter. They had given you space, far enough so you were basically alone but close enough that they could just catch what you were saying. You turned to Natasha catching her attention as her eyes stuck on yours and her lips turned up.

“Nat. You know how much I love you and, how much you mean to me. I’m not that good with words but, I.. I wanted to ask you something.”

She listened to you with confusion and then everything clicked into place once you had slipped off the sofa and onto one knee in the floor. She watched you take out a velvet box and she dreaded what came next. There it was. A silver white coloured ring with a diamond sitting on top of it. It was beautiful, yes.

“Will you marry me Natasha?”

You asked with a smile on your face. The team joe had their full attention on the both of you, smiled tugging at their lips aswell. Although your smile had started to die once she hadn’t spoken or did anything in 10 seconds. You tilted your head a little in question.

“Y/N.. no. I can’t.”

And she lifted herself up from the chair and simply brushed past you. The click of her heels had started to fade away and you began to feel... upset, like a fool. The team had watched her walk away and they turned back to you with sorrow looks on their face as they saw you still kneeling on the floor with no one in front of you.

“Well then..”

You whispered to yourself. You got up from the floor and sat down on the couch slowly, a million questions running through your mind. You had your head in your hand now. The ring was forgotten on the table, still closed now. Tony made his way over to you and sat down, he tucked his left hand under his jacket not wanting to show you his wedding ring as he knew that would pain you even more. He gently rubbed your back and whilst you had your eyes covered by tears and your hands, Steve took away the box and stuck it in his pocket. They didn’t do anything or say anything, all they could do was watch you. Wanda could hear your mind and heart breaking that made her frown. She could also hear the teams hearts breaking. You just decided to give the team a small smile, hiding your head as you made your way to your shared room. You opened it, not so surprised to see it empty, without her. Where you now single? What happens now? In hopes, you made your way to her old room and as soon as you reached it you knocked gently on the door.

“Natasha? Nat? Can we talk? Honey?”

She could hear your muffled pleads from outside the door, knowing you were leaning against it. But she decided to block it out and instead get undressed. Taking out her earrings that you had given to her for your 2 year anniversary. You decided to leave her, perhaps she would think things over.

You went to bed later on and cried. Cried without a shoulder to cry on.

It was now morning and you had gotten about all together, 13 minutes of sleep. You got up. Your hair was a mess, you had a T-shirt on and some sweatpants and socks. The team decided not to discuss what happened last night with either of you and instead Clint had breakfast. You slowly sat down at the kitchen counter and slumped over in your chair. You ran a hand in your hair and sighed. Clint slide your plate that had pancakes on that were shaped into a smiley face. You smiled back at him, satisfying him as he smiled warmly and turned back round to the pan. You soon pushed it away from you. Bruce and the News on tv had drowned out the possible awkward silence and your kindness nowhere except for when she walked in. You stood up from your chair and you hadn’t noticed Steve protectively standing behind you.

“Morning Nat.. can I err, can we talk?”

She had she gone deaf? You called out her name once more but you just watched her fill her cup up with coffee. She then walked past Steve and had taken a seat on the sofa in front of tv. You cautiously took only 3 steps in the direction she was sitting in and you called her name for the 3rd time.

“What?”

She said in a harsh tone without even looking your way. She was obviously ignoring you and it seemed like you got to her that much she eventually decided to answer you to get you to shut up.

“Can we talk?”

You said and your tone was a little more quieter.

“Nah.”

Nah. You hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast but suddenly you had energy. You nodded your head doing your best to not show your weakened face, even though she wasn’t looking at you. You made your way to the training room. They all couldn’t believe how she was acting. Like nothing had happened, like there wasn’t such a thing called a 2 year relationship between Y/N and Natasha. They had kept their mouths shut as they knew not to anger or disturb the Black Widow. Maybe Clint would try later, but not now.

2 hours you’d been in the training room. You had to re-wrap your knuckles another 2 times as you had gone that hard on the training back, the wrapping had dissolved away. Steve had been watching you long enough to know that you weren’t in the mind of you. He brought you in a sandwich he’d made and a bottle of water. He left it on the bench for you as he watched you once more with a sad frown before leaving you alone. After needing to wrap your knuckles for a third time, although it wasn’t doing to much to help as your knuckle skin was already broken. You grabbed the water, completely oblivious to the sandwiches.

It was later on now, getting to 11 o’clock at night and the team had done everything to drag you to bed but you locked the doors. Jarvis had then threatened to turn off the lights and he did, but you trained in the dark, only focused on the bag in front of you. Jarvis then talked literally into your ears until you were forced to leave. Your head and hair was drilling with sweat and you made your way up to Natashas floor. You needed a quick breather as you leaned your body against the corridor wall, taking some breathes before you weakly knocked on her door, arms hurting and knuckles bruised. You had knocked twice more and no answer.

So you made your way to what would now be your second room only the find half of it empty. Natasha had taken things from her bedside table, clothes from the wardrobe, her jewellery, make up, phone charger. Nearly everything. But she did an excellent job of leaving the pair of earrings you’d bought her. They were the same ones she was wearing the night you proposed to her. They were just sitting in the bed. But what hurt most was that the Polaroid of you and her was still on her bedside table, knocked over. She hadn’t taken it, probably not even acknowledged it. You were just still. Your face turned from a sad one to a neutral one and you grabbed a clean jacket and headed down to the ‘Mission Room’.

Bucky had to pull out of a mission because he had special plans with Steve and so you hoped that mission was still available as you’d take off in 10 minutes. And luckily it was. So off you went.

The night you decided to leave for the mission, had worried everybody. They were worried sick thinking you might’ve left or been kidnapped. Until Wanda had the gran idea of checking the mission file and sighs of relief had spread throughout the room seeing as you had checked out i the compound for the mission. Except for Natasha. She hadn’t even known that you were missing. At this point she literally blocked you from her mind.

It was about 2 months on now. You’d lost about 30 pounds. Your gym sessions were daily and lasted throughout the day. Every night you knocked on her door, got no answer. Then you would cry for about an hour and hate yourself for being so stupid and so unloveable. Throughout those months, the team had found that their mission had been completed, and that could’ve been 3 or 4 a day, adding up to a total of 30 missions a week. Your weight loss hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team. In fact, they tried to take you to Bruce’s lab and force feed you. Then tried taking you to a therapist, but you told them you’d eat if they let you go. You smiled every time but Steve could see right through it. They all could see your bloodshot eyes, bags under your eyes, bruised knuckles, clothes getting ridiculously big on you. So big, you had to have a new suit made for combat.

Wanda cried to Vision every night as your thoughts were too loud. She was crying because you were the opposite. You weren’t unloveable. You weren’t a fool. You weren’t a failure. But you were right about one thing. You were broken and slowly dying inside. Wanda was just lucky it was only her mind she could read and not your organs. You only ate every 4 days and that was maybe a cracker or two. The rest water, training, maybe sleeping. Clint provides you with many hugs and Tony would watch you whilst you were sleeping. He knew you weren’t you because as soon as you heard the door handle you used to sit up right away. Now you slept right though him stroking his hand through your hair. Steve was always protective and close to you as you just had a great and trustworthy connection with him. Natasha didn’t bother with you. You even sat down next to Natasha once when she was eating and she continued to take bites of her food and scrolled through her phone. Each night you’d find yourself sleeping in later, drinking more, losing more weight every day. Then it was team training day. Doctor Cho always stood on standby if anything serious happened. You were on the treadmill as usual but this time you just had to come off it earlier then usual. You tried walking around to get rid of the jelly legs and you tried to grab your water, but all you could see was 3 of everything. Bucky and Doctor Cho were studying you from a far and Thor had started to come over to you as he spotted your ghostly face and sweet beads a mile away. But you doubled over from a pounding headache and all Thor could see was what looked like your eyes shutting as you fell over on your side, body going limp. And everyone heard the thud on the hard floor as even Natasha turned her attention towards it. Thor had started shouting for Doctor Cho and the doctor called for medical assistant. Tony ran over and picked your head up from the floor and he placed it on his bent knees from sitting in the floor with you. He turned your head to the right so you were breathing properly and Natasha saw you. She froze. She actually froze. She was at first focused on your face, your cheekbones had stuck out, your eyelids looked raw red and the bags under your once beautiful eyes had turned purple, going darker and that horrible pale colour that washed over your face. Her eyes were then draw to how thin you were, and she saw him loose the t shirt you wore was, and then sweatpants were the same only baggier. They had to force you to sit up as you were still unconscious and she gasped when she saw your spine sticking through the t shirt and the distinct lines that represented your ribs. She placed a hand over her mouth and everything stopped. She realised what she’d done. How she’d broken you. How she abandoned you. How she left you alone to question if you weren’t good enough. She was then distracted by the team of doctors, 2 with a stretcher, that swarmed around and gently lifted you onto the moving bed. You now had an oxygen tank by your side and a mask on your face. Helen wanted to get an iv drip into you as soon as possible which is why you were rushed off so quick. All she could do was watch and the only part of her that could move were her eyes, desperately trying to see your face if your eyes were open yet.

Steve had stopped and looked at her watching before he quite rough ty shoved the velvet box into her hands. She didn’t dare open it. She just sat down on the training floor. Her thoughts were torn away from you as Clint practically stormed in to find her. His breath was rapid and his eyes were glossy. He stood above her with his hands on his hips.

“Do you know what you’ve done to her? Her organs are failing because of you! She thinks she’s unloveable, unwanted, a failure! Because. Of. You!”

He yelled at her. She could just watch him rant as she didn’t realise that tears were filling up her eyes and she didn’t know that a few slipped out. He soon softened and he sighed before having nothing left to say but he did look sympathetic towards her. He soon left her to return back to you.

As he returned to the room where the Avengers where he took a seat. You had multiple wires and lifelines hooked up to you. You had to have 2 more blankets placed over you as your body temperature was dropping. Thor sadly placed his cape over you. Steve was looking down, Wanda was trying to read your mind, Vision had his arm around her, Bruce was constantly checking your decreasing vitals. Tony was crying silently, the evidence staining his beard. And he was looking at your hand, wanting to hold it. Bucky looked at your face, then your finger and thinking how if she wasn’t so cold to you, within a year you could’ve been wearing a ring there aswell. To Bucky you looked like him when he was caged up which is why he had to leave the room, maybe to go and spend some time in your room. Heading out the door he bumped into Natasha who seemed frantic to get in there. He stopped to say something but she barged past until she saw your figure lying there.

Clint nodded to the rest of the gang for them all to clear out as she couldn’t take her eyes off of you. It could’ve been the disruption, it could’ve been the loud footsteps, noises of the chairs scraping but whatever it was, stopped your heart. Everyone’s heads turned to you and Natasha practically screamed for a nurse.

Tony was immediately by your side holding it as Thor was trying to pull him away as he was getting upset himself.

Helen and nurses came rushing in as they started to work on your body. Natasha refuses to leave and so she was allowed by your side. She did what she had to do and took out the velvet box, looked at the beautiful shining ring and placed it on her finger.

“Y/N. Y/N look. Open your eyes your ring is on my finger. Y/N I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry please!”

Helen had now started manual resuscitation as the team outside weren’t doing a good job of holding it together. Natasha had started to sob as suddenly there was a faint beep on the machine. And another. Another. You were back. She had dropped her head in relief and she begged you to open your eyes, much like you had begged her to open the door. They all heard a groan from you and Natasha lifted up her head and the Avengers were all crammed next to each other looking in through the window. Your eyes were slowly opening and you turned your head to see a green eyed beauty crying. She took a look at you and dropped her head down again in shame.

But that shame was replaced with hope as she felt a light squeeze in her hand that was yours. She grabbed yours with both hands. You couldn’t really talk with the mask over your nose and mouth and your mouth being extremely dry. So you used your other hand to point to it. All she could do was nod her head.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I don’t know why I refused you and.. and put my walls up when I’m this vulnerable around you. Please.. please don’t leave me.”

You gave her a slight nod from your head and a tired smile and she knew what that was. She dried her tears but was still sniffling and now smiling. And then you turned your head to see a bunch of Avengers smiling back at you, some sounds of ‘awes’ coming from them.

@natasha-danvers @imnotasuperhero @aaron-despair @confusinggemini612 @thewidowsghost @ecruzsalaz @fcbarcelona-and-marvel-4-life @gaytrashgoblin @capmarvelq @nat-romanoffdanvers @lesbian-x-blackwidow @emilyprentisswife @captain-josslett @oblivious-horny-lesbian @trikruismybitch @summergeezburr @username23345

[write-orflight]

Trouble: Chapter 2

*Gif not mine*

Pairings: HotchxReader

Prologue  Chapter 1

Rating: M

Words: 3K

Warnings: Basic witch stuff, angst, mentions of child birth, mentions of near death

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: After Haley’s passing, Aaron Hotchner has lost the light in his eyes. He seems to find it it the most unlikely of places, an occult themed coffee shop ran by a witch.

A.N: Tarot, wicca, and crystal information is very secondhand if you see any inaccuracies, no you don’t. If you are a witch tho and want to help and be nice to me enter my ask box please, I’m annoying my friend too much.

Chapter 2: God, don't let me lose my mind

The deeper into autumn you got the more busy the shop was. 

Halloween was a big money grabber for your shop. People loved to come to the shop around that time because your shop offered such ‘spooky’ feel, as the hipster who came in that morning would say. You hated that. Halloween was one of your favorite holidays simply because the veil between the natural and supernatural was so thin it was the best time for spells and charms but what you didn’t like was people and baby witches asking you about certain spells or how to commune with spirits just so they can do something “extra spooky” for whatever parties they were having for the season. Consultations were such easy money though so you’d never turn them away but your answer was always the same, that Spirits are not toys and that if they are going to invite them it better be serious and for the right intentions otherwise they might not leave. 

Despite it being your favorite season, It didn’t make you less annoyed. 

“If I have to make another Pumpkin flavored whatever and tell a sorority girl not to invoke a demon in her house, I’m going to scream.” Silena says to you as you enter the shop, Artemis in tow. Your sitter had to take an exam so you had to watch her for the first 2 hours of your shift. Artie, knowing the drill by now, tries to crawl up to the bar stool. You watch her for a second, smiling her little legs before taking pity on her and hoisting her up. She immediately pulls a coloring book and crayons out her bag, before working diligently in silence. You kiss her temple before walking behind the counter, tying your apron on. 

“You had another consultation today?” You asked.  

“Pfft, it wasn’t even that. She asked me while ordering her coffee, though I should’ve charged her for that dumbass question.” You look at her pointed, nodding your head towards your child who repeats everything. Silly winces “Sorry, but still. If this is how halloween is going to be, you’re probably going to have to do some balancing spells.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Exactly what I need, more work.” 

“What’s a dumbass?” Artie pipes up from her perch on the stool. 

“Something you are not and shouldn’t repeat unless you want your mom mad at me.” Silly says, reaching across the counter to ruffle her hair. 

The doorbell of the shop rings and the very man who’s occupied your mind these past couple of months steps in. Aaron Hotchner was one of your favorite customers despite not talking very much, he’d make small talk while you made his order which you found yourself doing slower than it would normally take you, just to get a little bit more of his time, he’d leave a tip in the jar and be on his way always leaving you with a small smile that you always immediately returned with a wide one. You tried to stop yourself from getting attached but here you were, an adult woman who had a crush on a customer who probably didn’t think about you when he left the shop. 

You’d never seen him on a weekend though and frankly you didn’t know if you could handle seeing him like this again, he wore dark blue jeans, a black belt and a black t-shirt that fit a little too well over his broad chest you couldn’t help but staring at his arms that you’d never seen on display like this. You knew for a fact(well you hoped at least) he’d have no issue picking you up or pinning you down. 

Now’s not the time, y/n… you think. 

“Hey, you.” You greet, flirtatiously. You’ve been trying not to flirt with him, you really were but sometimes you couldn’t help it. It was your personality. “Didn’t think I’d see you in here. On a weekend, no less.” 

“Yea, decided to stop for coffee before heading to my sister in law’s. Can I have my usual and an Americano for her?” He asks 

“You got it.” You wink before starting to work. Silly gives you a knowing look which you brush off. Hotch takes a seat at the bar a few seats away from your daughter who looks up at him. 

“Hi!” She says excitedly. “I’m Artie.” 

“Hi Artie, I’m Aaron.” He looks around. “Are your parents around?” You look up. You’d forgotten to mention you had a kid to Hotch, which would probably explain his confusion of a random child sitting alone. 

“My mama’s right there, silly.” She laughs. “Mama?” She says you look up automatically from the milk you’re frothing. 

“Yes, bean?” You say. 

“Can I have a brownie?”  

“Well, I don’t know. Did you finish the addition tables I asked you to do?” She shakes her head at you. “Well, how about you do that then we’ll see if it’s brownie time, deal?” She nods, fast while pulling her math homework out of her bag. Hotch watches the interaction confused but with a slight smile. 

“I didn’t know you had a kid.” He says 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Gus.” You say, calling him by the nickname you affectionately gave him your first meeting. “But yes I do, that’s Artemis.” 

He nods, knowingly. “How old?” 

“Well, I don’t know. How old are you, bean?” You say. 

“I’m six!” She says, holding up 5 fingers, you grab her other hand to extend her other index finger too so the number was actually 6. 

“Really? You’re not 16 yet?” Silly asks, ruffling her hair. “I thought you were driving us home tonight?” 

Artie shakes her head. “Mama says I can’t drive yet.” 

“Between you and me kid, your mama shouldn’t be on the road either.” You swat at her. 

Aaron gives a small chuckle at the display in front of him. But he has to ask the burning question in his head. “Her dad—“ 

“Not in the picture.” You cut off. “Like not even in the same gallery.” 

Hotch nods understandably as you put his drinks in the carrier for him. He looks at you confused when you add a 3rd cup. 

“Hot chocolate.” You say. “For your son. I imagine that’s where you’re going. To pick him up from your sister?”  

“How did you know I had a son?” He asks. 

“Oh, I just used one of my witchy spells to find out information on you.” You say jokingly, but he looks at you with mild horror. “I’m kidding, Spencer told me.” 

He nods. “Thank you, y/n.” 

“No problem, come back to see me?” 

“Always.” He says, offering you a small secret smile before leaving. You can’t help the dreamy look you give his retreating back. 

“Are you coming back to earth anytime soon?” Sil says, shaking her head. “You got it bad, kid.” 

“Pfft, no I don’t.” You say turning to clean up the mess you just made. 

“I don’t understand why you just won’t ask him out.” 

“He’s healing, Sil.” You say, shrugging. “And I don’t want to push him into something he’s obviously not ready for.” 

Not to mention you also didn’t think you were ready for it. 

———————————————

On Halloween day, you get a visit from one of your favorite customers 

“Pennywise!” You say to chipper blonde women who strolled in she was wearing a orange and black dress with little jack-O-lantern earrings that you had gotten her the beginning of month. You move your hair back to show her the Ouija board pointer earrings she had gotten you in return. Penelope Garcia couldn’t just accept a gift without giving one in return. 

“Hey Y/N, how are you this ole hallow’s eve?”

“It’s Halloween and a full moon tonight.” You say excitedly. “It’s like witch Christmas.” 

“I don’t know about that but I am happy for you. Can I have a pumpkin spice latte and since I’m such a good friend an Americano with extra sugar for the good doctor?” She asks. 

“You got it, Pen.” You say before starting her order. “Heading into work now?” 

“Sure am! Hopefully there’s not a gruesome murder so I’ll be able to spend my Halloween having fun.” Penelope says. “You got any plans?” 

“Other than taking Artie Trick or Treating and charging some crystals in the full moon, no.” 

“Come on, no wild parties? no hexing beautiful men into falling in love with you?” Penny asks. You laugh loudly, shaking your head. “Man, maybe the life of a witch was more exciting in my head.” 

“Yea, you did.” You laugh. “I’m basically just a cool rock collector plus love spells, so not my thing.” 

“So there’s such a thing?” 

“Yea there’s love spells. I don’t believe in using them. I think love itself is it’s own powerful being. It shouldn’t be manipulated with, if someone was meant to love me they would.” 

“Speaking of love and love spells…” Silena pipes up from the display case she was loading pastries she just made into. “Penelope, how’s your boss?” You glare over at her. 

“Hotch?” Penny asks looking between the two of you before smirking at you. “Why do you want to know?” 

“I don’t.” You say at the same time as Silena says. “She has a Texas sized crush on him.” 

Garcia practically squeals at that. “Let me set you up please.” 

“No, Penny.” You say, immediately 

“Why not?” Her and Silly say at the same time. 

“Because… I don’t know didn’t his wife just die months ago, it’s hardly appropriate for me to try swoop in.” 

“Ex-wife. They were already long divorced before she died.” Penelope adds 

“Still! It’s not appropriate.” You say. 

“So what? You’re just going to keep making him free coffee until he realizes you're into him?” 

“Yup” you say adding the 3rd cup to Garcia’s carrier. “Give that to Grumpy for me please.” Garcia opens her mouth to say something but you just hold up your hand cutting her off 

“Fine.” She says, grabbing the carrier. “Only because I have to go to work though, this conversation isn’t over.”  

“Yes it is.” You call after her. 

——————————————

You were back in the shop. Artie was tuckered out after a long night of trick or treating and crashing from her sugar high so you decided to charge some of your crystals and do some balancing spells, knowing for a fact a lot of teenagers did stupid shit to upset the balance. 

As you were lighting the candles and incense, you heard a knock at the door. You were long closed so who could possibly need something right now? You look out the window and Aaron is standing there. You’re confused but you let him in anyway. 

“Hey Grumpy, what’re you doing here?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were closed, I guess I’ve never been here at night. I’ll go. I'm sorry for bothering you.” He says turns to go but you grab his arm to stop him. 

“Gus… it’s almost midnight, no business is open. You’re here because there’s obviously something upsetting you so I’m not just going to let you leave.” You all but push him into barstool. “Now like I said it’s almost midnight so there is something important I need to do so if you’ll sit tight for like 2 minutes, I’ll make us coffee.” 

Hotch obliges, sitting silently watching you as you lit some candles on the altar you kept in the shop. You placed the honey cake you had made earlier in the day on the altar before whispering. 

“Thank you to the patron, Artemis, Great goddess of Moon and Magic. Mistress of deer and owl. Be thou my guide and Inspiration. Teach me Thy mysteries and lead me in thy ways.” You stand and turn back to Hotch who is watching you intensely. “Sorry about that, midnight is her favorite time. Coffee?” You ask, He nods as you move behind the counter. 

“Can I ask what it is you just did?” Hotch ask. 

“That?” He nods. “It’s a full moon so since Artemis is my patron goddess, it’s best to leave a sacrifice to stay in her favor.” You shrug. He looks at you like you're crazy but you're used to that look. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s no different then some catholic practices. In fact, Christians often stole from pagan practices, and only one is just considered ‘taboo’ now.” 

“Is that why you named your child Artemis, because she’s your Patron?” He asks. 

“Actually, Artemis is my Patron because of Artie.” You say, he looks at you as if asking you to continue. “I wasn’t always like this.” You say gesturing to yourself and the shop. “My parents are pastors and for a long time I was this faith devout christian girl. But I got pregnant out of wedlock, my parents disowned me and I was looking for something to turn to. I met Silena and she introduced me to Wicca, and said whoever my Patron was through meditation and study, They’ll reveal themselves to me. So I went months, meditating daily, and still nothing was working. Then I went into labor, and everything was going wrong. I thought, this was my punishment from god for not only getting pregnant without marriage but turning to witchcraft. I had to have an emergency C-section. And when I was on the operating table, I almost died, Artie almost died. I started to see these images of deer and boar running through the forest. And finally when I came back to, and I could hear my baby crying, the first thing I saw when my eyes opened was the full moon out the window.” You sigh, sliding a cup to Hotch before moving from behind the counter to take a seat next to him. “That’s when I realized the goddess had saved me and my child. And while Artemis prefers virgin patronage, and that ship had long sailed past back then. I figured naming my child after her was the next best thing.”  

“That’s a beautiful story, Y/N.” He says, looking at you sincerely.   

“Thank you, and since you’re not running for the hills, why don’t you tell me why you really knocked at my door at midnight.” 

“It’s just…” He starts, clearing his throat. “Tonight was the first ‘major’ holiday without Haley. And I tried to take Jack’s mind off it, make it fun but it was like this looming weight above us. That it wasn’t the same without her and that it never would be. And I was upset and just wanted to take a walk but I guess my feet carried me here.” He shrugged. 

“Well I’m glad you’re here grumpy. And you’re healing you need to give yourself time--” 

“I don’t have time!” He snaps. You flinch back a bit, having never heard his raised voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just-I don’t have time to heal. I have to be there for Jack.”

“Who’s there for you, Aaron?” You ask. He looks at you confused. You hardly ever call him by his name. It's either grumpy or gus or a combination of the two. Never by his actual name, he hated how much he liked how it sounded coming from your lips. “Do you know what a rock tumbler is?” you ask, he shakes his head confused where you’re going with this. You run behind the counter to retrieve the box you had dug through the very first night you met.

“Well a rock tumbler is a device you put rocks into. Rocks that have eroded, rocks that have trekked the earth, rocks that have been to hell and back. And what you do is you put them in this device with a little bit of water and you wait. Days, weeks, months all the while this device is just spinning, you don’t see what’s happening on the inside but after a while, when the time is right, you get these beautiful lustrous stones.” You say, showing him the box. “Healing is the same way, others don’t see you working. But in the end, they’ll see the result. And you’ll feel the result too. But if you don’t take that step you don’t end up with gems like these. You just end up with an eroded dingy rock.” You look up at Hotch and he’s tearing up slightly. Your heart melts. “Do you want a hug?” you say. 

“You don’t have to--” 

You cut him off. “No one on earth gives hugs because they have to. I want to give you a hug if you want one. So do you want a hug?” 

He nods, fastly. So you stand, he follows suit and allows you to pull him down into a full embrace. Your arms around his neck and shoulders, he envelopes you fully into his torso, arms tight around your waist. You sigh, content. Before shaking yourself out of it. This wasn’t about you. No matter how right it felt. 

After a minute or so you break apart. You look him in the eyes and he’s staring back at you in what feels like admiration. You clear your throat. “Can I give you something?” you ask.

“Is it another crystal?” He asked back. 

“Yes, it is.” You rummage through the box before pulling out the one you needed. “This is Aragonite, it’s good for healing old wounds and building emotional strength. Now I can gift you this but you have to activate it yourself. Even if you don’t believe it, I feel like it’s good words to hear yourself say anyway.” You grab his left hand, sliding the crystal into it. He looks into your eyes. “Now say, I release past wounds and embrace resilience.” 

Hotch sighs. “I release past wounds and embrace resilience.” He then slides the stone in his pocket. Before grabbing your hand again. “Thank you, Y/N” 

“Anytime, Grumpy.” You say.  

Taglist: @megatrexus @roses-and-grasses​ @tittymuncher69​ @liaabsurd​ @ladyravenclaw​ @genevievedarcygrangerreading​ @softbibxtch​ @xxdisappearwithoutatracexx​

[thequibblah]

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

[the-lincyclopedia]

* adapted from @librajiminn on twitter

A fun game to celebrate 2020 ending! The rules are simple: recommend your favorite OMGCP fics so everyone can enjoy them, while trying to fill in enough slots to get a bingo!

This is going to get long, so I’ll put it under a cut. Also, I’m too orderly to try to shoehorn my favorite fics into these particular prompts, so I’m just going to go right to left, top to bottom, taking the prompts literally, until it’s bedtime. 

1. first fic you bookmarked: “Here Comes the Sun” by @doggernaut, 19k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

For the past month, the man with the baby and the sad blue eyes has been stopping in for a cup of coffee an hour before closing. He always sits in an overstuffed chair in the corner and drinks his coffee while his baby sleeps next to him in the stroller. Sometimes he pulls a book out from the diaper bag he carries with him; other times he just stares straight ahead as if in a daze. He never asks for a refill, always respectfully gathers his things and leaves ten minutes before the shop officially closes. Eric desperately wants to ask him what his story is. 

My notes: I read Check Please over the course of two days in June of 2019. On the second day, right after catching up, I looked at @peppermintfeminist‘s AO3 bookmarks and found a fic by @doggernaut. Then I read just about everything @doggernaut had ever posted. It was glorious. This fic in particular is so cute. 

2. most recent fic you bookmarked: “Flight Check” by @edgarallanrose, 15k, E, no warnings (though there is a creepy/handsy guy at a club to watch out for), primarily Zimbits with most of the other popular pairings in the background

Flight attendant Eric “Bitty” Bittle has been working his way up at Samwell Airlines for the past four years, and his new promotion has provided him the opportunity to work with a brand-new crew. Unfortunately for Bitty, that crew includes an incredibly handsome but equally grumpy pilot, Captain Jack Zimmermann, who seems to want nothing to do with Bitty. Even worse, Jack refuses to eat any of Bitty's baked goods. Will Bitty be able to win the captain over? Or is there another reason Jack has been avoiding Bitty?

My notes: There are a lot of great things about this fic--Jack’s character arc, Lardo’s dialogue, that scene in Seattle--but the reason I bookmarked it is the scene where Bitty’s basically slut-shaming himself and Jack gently but firmly tells Bitty not to do that and that it was the creep’s fault. 

3. a fic that made you cry actual tears: “a little bit more” by @ivecarvedawoodenheart, 14k, T, no warnings, Holsom

“I just wanted,” he says, “a perfect day. With you. Because it’s our last day together and our last day being here as undergrads and we’re kissing the ice tonight, and the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, and you’re moving tomorrow and Holtzy I just — I don’t want to be missing you already.” Holster wipes his eyes before he even realizes he’s crying. Behind him, Ransom sighs. “One more day where everything’s the same,” he says, feeling around blindly for Rans’ fingers. He feels Rans nod as he laces their fingers together. “Yeah. Yeah, Rans. I’d like that a lot.” __________________________

Holsom after graduation and throughout the subsequent six months after Holster signs to an expansion team in Oregon, and realizes his feelings for Ransom too late. Holster's POV :) kinda angsty, but there's a happy ending :)

Inspired by shitty-check-please-aus: "Holster moves to Oregon while Ransom stays on the east coast. The time difference makes it difficult to talk and one day they wake up and realize they aren’t best bros anymore."

My notes: I almost never cry at fics. I searched “tears” in my fandom email account and only a handful of my fic comments came up, but Syd is a literal master of Holsom angst, always. 

4. longest fic you’ve read: “Like Real People Do” by @xiaq, 153k, M, No Warnings, Kent Parson x OC

Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

My notes: Okay, this fic has my whole entire heart. I’ve read it multiple times in its entirety, and it’s almost twice as long as the full-length novel I’m querying. Eli is one of my favorite OCs I’ve ever seen in a fic (probably tied with Damian Navarro and Ari Paxton, both brainchildren of @fozmeadows). Anyway, this is probably going to be the next thing @themeaningoflifeischeese and I read out loud to each other. 

5. a fic you almost didn’t read: “when all else fails (i’ll still be right here)” by @whoacanada, 6k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (and I don’t remember if I think there’s stuff to warn for, sorry), Zimbits

The National Hockey League is resurrecting the Quebec City Nordiques, and the expansion draft hits the Falconers much harder than expected.

My notes: Given that this was for @omgcpheartbreakfest, I was worried this would be all angst--all hurt and no comfort. Which made me sad, because I love @whoacanada‘s writing but I wasn’t up for reading unresolved angst. But @doggernaut reblogged the fic, so I asked if the ending was sad, and it’s NOT! There is quite a bit of angst but the ending isn’t sad. 

6. a fic that convinced you on a ship you didn’t ship before: “it drops with the gravity of rain” by @geniusorinsanity, 16k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (attempted sexual assault by an OC), Nurseydex

It happens like this:

“I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.”

And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.”

It happens like this:

“Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.”

It happens like this:

When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.

My notes: So I was really confused and a little disturbed when I first found out people shipped Nursey and Dex. Like, Dex just wasn’t someone I trusted. But then I was moving out of the house I’d been living in, and I needed stuff to listen to as I packed and cleaned, and @khashanakalashtar‘s podfics came in clutch. I gave this one a try even though I didn’t like Dex, and @geniusorinsanity blew. My. Mind.

7. a fic from an unusual POV: “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” by @porcupine-girl, 8k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

Jesse Snowden knows all the best restaurants and gourmet food shops in Providence, so when Jack Zimmermann starts bringing in incredible baked goods, he's eager to find out where the new bakery is. When he meets the man behind the pies, he decides that there's no way Jack could really appreciate this guy's talent the way he does, even if they are friends. He starts hiring Jack's chef on the side, in the hopes that maybe once Bitty's done with college he'll come work for Jesse.

Good thing there is absolutely no way whatsoever that Jesse could possibly be misinterpreting this situation.

My notes: Oh my gosh this is so funny. The secondhand embarrassment factor is huge, but like, the hilarity. 

8. a comfort fic: “Don’t Need to Compromise” by @khashanakalashtar, 11k, E, no warnings, PB&J

“Hey,” said Kent, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change his entire life, “you said that like you know from experience. Have you done this before?”

Jack and Bitty have not done polyamory before, but they do know Ransom and Holster’s polycule, which contains March.

And March?

March is trans.

My notes: I’m in love with @khashanakalashtar‘s entire Directionverse series (and honestly a lot of their other writing), but “Don’t Need to Compromise,” which is the second fic in the series, just makes my heart swell especially much. The gender feels are so good, and all the characters are so good to each other, and when I listen to this on walks I have to actively try not to arm-flap. 

9. a fic you wish could be a movie: “Ice Crew Please!” by @petals42, 61k, T, no warnings, Zimbits

Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.

He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

My notes: This fic has its tender moments, but what I love most about it is the sheer goofiness. Ransom and Holster and Shitty are HILARIOUS in this one. I’d love to see their shenanigans in movie form. 

10. a WIP you read as it was updated: “Something Borrowed” by @fozmeadows, 48k, M, no warnings, Kent x OC

All things considered, Ari did his best to prepare himself for the advent of Kent Parson, Potentially Difficult Housemate and New Star Liney. The problem was that his best was an idiot.

My notes: So technically I didn’t start reading this until the first 19 chapters were posted. But there was still plenty of anticipation for the final few chapters. And like, @fozmeadows (as mentioned above) makes EXCELLENT OCs. And I love how their fics consistently convey that having bad things happen to you does not mark the end of your story. 

Okay, it’s bedtime, so have 10 excellent fics. I got bingo twice, because I went straight across on the top two rows.

[wholesomemendes]

The Final Attempt | 2

College and Hockey Shawn Au

Summary: It’s the championship game for the hockey team and you’re going to support the team just as you did for the opening game, except this time, you’re repping a certain curly hair boy that you met at the library. (This is the part 2 to The Final Attempt which I will link right here)

Author’s Note: This was highly requested and while I didn’t have a part 2 in mind I’m kinda proud of how this came out so I hope you like it! This is the longest fic I have ever written with a little over 4.3k words and I worked really hard on it to make a good story arc for you guys! As always please tell me what you think!

The championship game. If you had thought that the opening game was a big event, the championship game had blown all expectations out of your mind. You weren’t one for big crowds, but here you sat amongst the hundreds of people, Shawn’s large practice jersey adorning your body with the word MENDES written in bold letters along your back. “I love it,” you recalled him telling you the first time you had put it on for a game, “Lets everyone know you’re mine.” It seemed like just yesterday you were sitting nervously at the opening game, watching the boy that had won your heart with something as simple as cups of tea and messages written in sharpie. Fast forward to this afternoon when you had kissed your boyfriend good luck before he went to practice and were now watching him skate across the ice at a rapid pace. There was only 5 minutes left in the game with the score tied up, and everyone in the stadium could feel the nail-biting tension in the air. The puck was now in Shawn’s possession as he skated across the ice towards the goal, determination set in his eyes.

“Come on, Shawn,” you whispered to yourself, watching his every move with bated breath. 4 minutes 31 seconds...30 seconds....29 seconds...CRASH. A loud gasp escaped your lips and you stood in your seat, watching as his body got checked viciously into the boards with a loud bang. Shawn slumped down onto the ice, unable to get up while his opponent stole the puck and began to skate towards the goal. “No, no, no,” you prayed, hands covering your mouth, “You’re ok, baby, get up, you’ve gotta get up.” You saw him shake his head carefully, worried that he had a concussion from the amount of impact his head took, before looking up at the timer on the wall. 2 minutes 54 seconds. His head pounded, eyes wanting so bad to just close and rest for a few seconds, but he saw the clock, knowing that this was his last chance to make his team and school proud. He looked into the crowd, eyes landing on the one person he could always trust. Your eyes connected and as he saw the look of pure concern on your face, he knew that he had to use every last bit of strength inside of him to make you proud because at the end of the day, you were the only person that truly mattered to him. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as Shawn regained his ground, skating towards one of his teammates that had managed to to steal back the puck. Passing him the puck, his team flocked him on both sides, protecting him from defenders while he approached the goalie, the clock only seconds away from the end of the game. 5... Shawn maneuvered around an opponent, puck still against his stick ...4... he stared the goalie dead in the eyes as his heart rate increased from adrenaline ...3... thump thump ....2... shoot ....1... score. The crowd erupted into cheers causing the stadium to move up and down with the excitement in the building. You jumped up, smile so wide your cheeks hurt from the action, but you couldn’t help the proud feeling that erupted in your chest. 

His teammates crowded him on the ice, adrenaline and victory rushing through their veins as they piled on one another, spirits high all around. The team’s all star player and captain was handed the winning trophy, National Champion written in bright gold lettering along the front. Cheeks flushed from the ice, Shawn held the trophy high above his head with a smile on his face that could be seen for miles, the stadium roaring in response. The energy was electric among the students, cheering from every inch of the team’s supporters as the team huddled around their winning prize and soaked up the crowd’s excitement. Shawn’s eyes met yours for a split second and you blew him a kiss, a silent message to him to show how proud you were, before he was whisked away for picture with his team. 

_________________________

The outside of the stadium was packed full of students, all waiting for the victors to finally emerge from the stadium. They were chanting the team’s name, the school’s fight song blaring from their mouths in celebration. The doors swung open and the boys came out to the wild applause and screams of the crowd. Shawn led the pack, the team’s captain smiling wide from ear to ear as the students crowded him. You leaned against the wall of the stadium, watching as all of the fans congratulated him, not wanting to disrupt his moment. He thanked them profusely, but his eyes kept wandering around searching for one particular person. Shawn’s eyes met yours and they lit up, pushing past all of the girls begging for his attention. You noticed him moving towards you and lost all restraint, running into his arms so he could pick you up in his strong grasp. You wrapped your legs around his waist, nuzzling your face into his shoulder as he did the same, “I’m so proud of you, bubs.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, baby,” he told you sincerely, head lifting to show off that dazzling smile, “You’re my good luck charm.” Shawn had sworn by this fact after the only game they had lost had been the 3rd game of the season, the one you skipped in order to study for an upcoming test. Ever since then, you made it a point to be at every game and they hadn’t lost since, furthering proving Shawn’s theory. You giggled as he placed you on the ground, hands coming up to cup your face in a passionate kiss. Breaking away he placed an arm around your waist and kept you close while more people came to talk to him about the game. You snuggled closer to his arm, using him as a way to keep your calm over how crowded the situation was, especially when you began to feel the jealous stares of the puck bunnies around you. Shawn felt your discomfort after a moment and he squeezed your waist in reassurance before beginning to maneuver you out of the crowd. “Do you think you’ll be ok going to a party with me or do you just want to go back to your dorm? I’ll do either, it’s up to you.”

The idea of going to a party tonight made you sick when you’d much rather just cuddle in the arms of your man, but there was no way you were going to let him skip out on a championship after party, “I’ll be fine, you’ve gotta go to the party.”

He turned your body to face his, a serious look on his face, “I’m serious, though, if you don’t feel comfortable going we can just...”

“We’re going,” you replied confidently, hiding the nerves bubbling inside of your chest, “And what you’re not gonna do is worry about me and instead let loose and have fun.”

“I always worry about you babe, but thank you. I don’t deserve you.” He gave you a kiss on your forehead before he led you to follow the crowd in the direction of the chaos.

_________________________

It was 2 hours into the party when you lost your boyfriend. He had been glued to your side the whole night in an attempt to make you feel comfortable, but once the guys tried to drag him into a game of beer pong after you had begun to strike up a conversation with a girl from your math class, you convinced him to go have fun, assuring him you would be fine. You weren’t one to drink so you had been nursing a beer all night long which only gave you a slight buzz. Shawn on the other hand was about 3 drinks in and had reached the point where you knew he was going to have a nasty hangover the next day. You couldn’t blame him though, you had actually promoted it when one of his teammates, Brian, had handed him another drink. “Shawn, I promise I’ll stay sober so you can have fun,” you had told him, but he protested, claiming that he didn’t want to ruin your night. However, you happened to love drunk Shawn because although you didn’t see him often, he was known to be extremely cute and clingy even if his energy was also to the max. 

You followed the loud yells coming from within the house only to find Brian standing on top of the beer pong table in victory as Shawn laughed beneath him. Two guys you recognized as some of his teammates grimaced on the side as they took a swig of an unknown substance, immediately souring their faces in disgust. “Hey bubs,” you placed a tender hand on his shoulder, causing Shawn’s face to turn around with a dopey grin on his face.

“Babyyyyy,” he cooed, wrapping his arms around you, “I missed you.”

You could smell the alcohol on his breath, but you chose to ignore it, focusing on the feeling of being in his arms instead, “I missed you too, did you and Brian win your game?”

“We did! Baby, I’m so good at beer pong,” he mumbled into your hair as his hands roamed your sides, “I should play you sometime.”

“Nah, I’d rather play on your team.” 

“Will you lovebirds stop hanging on each other over there, I need my beer pong partner back!”

Shawn’s head perked up after hearing Brian’s words and he pulled you in front of him, back to his chest with his arms still wrapped around you. “I’m not your partner anymore I’m hers,” he said confidently, placing his head on top of yours, “You wanna play us, Craigen?” 

“I don’t want to drink anything, Shawn,” you whispered to him while Brian went on the hunt to find a partner.

“I know,” he took your hand in his, kissing the back lightly, “I’ll drink for you, ok?”

“You really think you need more to drink?” you teased and he laughed, throwing his head back causing him to hiccup. His eyes widened at his own actions and a giggle escaped his lips, “Probably not, but I’ve got a pretty girl that’ll take care of me.”

“Oh, I’ve gotta take care of you?’

“You don’t have to, but you’re the only one I want to,” he showed his puppy dog eyes, even though you were fully planning on ensuring he got home safely, “Pleaseeee.”

“I’m just messing with you,” you told him, ruffling through his curls, “I’ll always take care of you.” Just then, Brian came back with his newest victim, giving the both of you a mouthful after you pecked his lips before starting the game. Shawn wasn’t lying, even drunk he was good at beer pong allowing you to win even though you only made 3 throws. Brian’s team still managed to make a considerable amount of cups which led to your beloved boyfriend becoming even drunker than he already was. Once the clock hit 3 am and Shawn began suggesting that you join in on the body shots that people were beginning to do in the kitchen, you decided that it was time to bring your champion home.

_________________________

“Come on, bubs, let’s get you out of these clothes.” Shawn was busy mumbling something incoherent as you stumbled into his dorm room and placed him on the bed. You knew Brian was probably not coming back tonight, so you weren’t worried about him barging into the room in the middle of the night. You lightly tugged on his alcohol stained shirt, a result of him getting a little clumsy during his second round of beer pong, “You gotta help me a little bit here, big guy.”

He lifted his arms up to help you out, eyes glazed over as he sat on the edge of his bed, “’M tired.” 

“I know, bubs,” you sighed, beginning to unbutton his pants, “Just gotta get you into some clean clothes.”

“Hey, missy, no funny business there,” he slurred out with a drunken smile on his lips as he grabbed your wrist from pulling down his pants, earning a giggle from you in response. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, bubs,” successfully tugging his pants off, you reached behind you for the pair of pajama pants you had placed on the dresser and turned back to the giant man child that now had a pout adorning his face. 

“You don’t dream of it?” he asked hurt, eyes drooping from the lack of sleep, “But, but, I’m your boyfriend...and you’ve said I’m handsome, and, and I’m hot!”

You laughed at his antics, getting the pants around his ankles and putting your hands in his to help hims stand up. He leaned against your much smaller body as you pulled the waist band up and held his face in your hands. “I think you’re very, very handsome,” you told him, admiring how adorable he looked even with glazed, drunken eyes and a bright pink tint to his cheeks from the alcohol, “I also happen to think you’re the hottest man alive, but you just so happen to be extremely drunk right now which means you need to go to sleep.” Shawn collapsed into your arms, giving you a bone crushing hug as you stumbled back trying to regain your footing.

“I love you,” he mumbled into your shoulder, “so, so much.”

Your heart fluttered at his words. You had only been dating for a little over 5 months, so the words were still very new to the two of you and they almost made you cry at how lucky you were every time he said those 3 simple words. “I love you too, champ. Let’s get you to bed.”

You maneuvered him into the tiny bed of his dorm room and he immediately snuggled into your chest like a little puppy once you laid down. With his head rested comfortably on your chest and his arms wrapped around you, his breathing began to even out while you slowly ran your fingers through his curls, “Goodnight, my little champion.”

_________________________

Your alarm went off at 9am much to your dismay, and you struggled to reach over the curly headed boy on your chest to turn it off. You didn’t have a single clue as to why you still had a lecture today, but you did, and as much as you wanted to just lay in bed all day with your boyfriend, you couldn’t miss one of your hardest lectures. You tried to move out from underneath your giant of a boyfriend earning you a groan while his arms tightened around you. “Shawn, I have to get up,” you whispered, tracing over the freckles on his muscular back.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled into your chest, “Just wanna cuddle for a little bit.”

“I know bubs, but I have to get to class.” 

At this, he finally let you leave his strong grasps, grabbing onto the pillow to hold onto in place of you, “What class?”

“Mr. Howard at 11, but I have to go home and get changed.” You had put on the sweatshirt you had under his jersey along with your jeans from the game, knowing you couldn’t just wear the shirt you had stolen from his closet to sleep in last night to walk back to your dorm. “I left you some water and medicine for your head on the nightstand, make sure to get some rest, ok?” you ruffled your hands through his hair and he relaxed further into the mattress from your motions. You gave him a soft kiss on his mass of curls, mumbling an I love you into them, before grabbing your belongings from atop Brian’s bed and turning towards the door.

Shawn grabbed your hand to stop you from leaving, placing the sweetest of kisses on the back of your hand while looking you in the eyes, “I love you more.” Your cheeks heated up at his words and you squeezed his hand lovingly before making your way out of his room. 

Walking as fast as you could to your dorm room, you got ready in a hurry, knowing you would have to rush to make your lecture in time due to the extra moments you had spent at Shawn’s place. You put on the first reasonable outfit you could find and packed your bag at a rapid speed in order to make it out the door with 15 minutes to spare. It usually took about 20 minutes for you to walk to class, but you were determined to not be late today. You practically sprinted to the large stone building and managed to walk through the door just as the professor was about to lock it. Giving him a sheepish smile, your eyes searched for an open seat, only to let out a disappointed sigh when you noticed that your typical seat towards the front had been taken. The only available seat was right next to the door and you begrudgingly sat down in it as you took out your laptop to take notes.

30 minutes into the lecture and your brain was fried. Your mind kept on wandering off and daydreaming about being back in bed in Shawn’s arms no matter how much you tried to concentrate. This had to be one of your hardest lectures, but you were having such a hard time focusing that you were wondering if you should just pack your things and leave. The growling of your stomach cut off your thoughts and made you realize that you hadn’t eaten or drank anything before coming to class, which was definitely taking a toll on you. You sighed, looking back up at the professor when you heard the door of the lecture hall closing. Whipping your head around, you couldn’t see anyone entering the room so you focused your thoughts back to the screen with a confused look on your face. As you went to move your laptop to better see your professor, your eyes were drawn to something that had definitely not been on your desk a few seconds prior. A white cup of tea, noticeably from the school’s cafe, was sitting right on the corner of your desk, staring back at you. Tentatively, you picked it up, turning it around in your hands only to be met with Shawn’s signature handwriting written in Sharpie. 

A hot hibiscus tea with one scoop of sugar.

Sorry if I made you late to class today, thank you for taking care of me beautiful.

Love you loads, Shawn aka Bubs aka your Champ aka Best Boyfriend ever

P.S. because you’re an amazing girlfriend and you spent the whole night making sure I didn’t kill myself I’m taking you out tonight. I’m picking you up at 7, dress warm;)

You bit your lip to hide the wide grin forming on your face and suddenly, you wanted to get out of class as soon as possible for a completely different reason. The lecture seemed to drag on for hours and the moment your professor was finished you were rushing out the door to your dorm. You still had almost 6 hours left to kill before Shawn picked you up, so you texted him letting you know that you were done with class as you began to distract yourself with homework and notes from other classes. Once 6pm approached, you heart was beating rapidly with excitement and you decided it wasn’t too early to get ready. You didn’t quite know what to wear when he said dress warm because the weather was considerably nice outside and did not require a warmer dress code. Nevertheless, you decided to put on one of Shawn’s hockey sweatshirts that had his name printed on the back in bold with the school’s logo on the front and some warm leggings underneath. 

7 o’clock rolled around as a knock sounded on your door. Opening it up to reveal your perfect boyfriend, you launched yourself into his arms which he responded to by pulling you closer with a light laugh, “Hi baby.” 

“Hi handsome,” you giggled as he looked at you sheepishly while holding out a bouquet of yellow roses to you, which he just happened to know were your favorite, as if it was your first date all over again. You thanked him with a blush on your face and a kiss to his cheek, causing his face to light up pink when you turned around, just from your presence. 

“That’s an awfully nice sweatshirt you got there.”

You laughed as he made his way into your dorm room, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you were finding a place to put the flowers, “I got it from the greatest college hockey player I know.”

“I’m the only college hockey player you know,” he pointed out as you turned around in his hold.

“Exactly,” you teased and he feigned offense, pinching your sides lightly in protest and pouting out his lips. You leaned up to kiss the pout off his lips and he immediately deepened the kiss, pushing his body closer to yours until he suddenly came to his senses and pulled away, “Stop distracting me woman, we have places to be.” With that he grabbed your hand and began to pull you out of the dorms and towards his jeep, the two of you laughing the entire way.

_________________________

The drive to your unknown location took less than 10 minutes and before you knew it, Shawn was pulling into a parking stop at the school’s hockey stadium. “What are we doing here?” you curiously asked through giggles from the last joke he had just told you.

“I may or may not have gotten the rink free for tonight so we could skate together,” he confessed, a bashful blush on his cheeks as he got out of the jeep and came around to open your door.

“How did you manage that?”

“Being the school’s star player and captain does have its perks. You’re practically dating a celebrity baby.”

“Oh shut up,” you pushed him jokingly and he retaliated quickly, lifting you over his shoulder and running towards the door.

“Shawn! Let me down!” you laughed as your arms tried to grab onto a part of his muscular back to no avail. He grabbed your legs to insure you wouldn’t fall and spun you around one last time once he reached the entrance, putting you down gently. Shawn opened the door for you, the stadium feeling oddly empty with how quiet it was. Guiding you towards the rink, Shawn felt his heart bubble in anticipation at the thought of having his girl alone with him in his favorite place to just skate around. He handed you a pair of skates that he had already placed on a bench for you, having asked your roommate for your shoe size earlier in the day. “I haven’t been ice skating in about 5 years,” you admitted, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips. How you managed to have a star hockey player as your boyfriend when you could hardly skate on two feet you didn’t know, and even though you knew Shawn wouldn’t judge you for your skills, or lack of for that matter, you still felt a tad bit embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, hun,” he told you as he helped you lace up your skates, “I’ll hold your hand every second we’re out there.” With one last tug on the laces, he patted your skate securely, looking up at you with doe-like eyes, “How do they feel?”

“Perfect,” you leaned down and pecked his lips before he sat down next to you to begin his own skates. Taking your hand in his, he pulled you onto your wobbily feet and led you towards the ice. 

“Now I’m gonna get on first, just hold onto my hands.” This wasn’t your forte for sure, but Shawn was a patient teacher and after a few laps around the rink, you were feeling much more confident, probably a little too confident. You had been skating for about 45 minutes when you had suggested that he taught you how to skate backwards. Shawn’s face had lit up, loving every second of you being interested in something he loved and he immediately turned himself around to hold your hands to show you how to start. For a beginner, you weren’t doing awful, but you were far from perfect and that became clear when your feet fell out from underneath you. Shawn wrapped his arms around you just as you were about to fall on your butt, effectively having you land on top of him on the ice, the both of you laughing your heads off. 

Once the laughter began to settle, Shawn’s eyes began to turn softer, the lights inside of the rink making them glow brighter than usual. “How’d I get so lucky?” he mumbled to himself as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, but you heard it loud and clear. 

“I ask myself that everyday, bubs.”

He cradled the back of your head in his hand, lifting his head to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you,” you whispered softly against his lips.

“I love you too, baby. You mean more to me than any hockey championship I could ever win.”

[criticizing-blogger]

I Promise - Chapter 2

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warning: cursing, gory details

Word count: 1973

Sam and Dean sat at the motel room table, going over the small amount of evidence they had collected. The men still had yet to question the parents of the other missing kids. They had called it quits for the day because it was getting late. Sam’s laptop sat in front of him, multiple tabs open about mythology. Yet, he couldn’t figure out what’s been terrorizing the town. Of course, they do have little evidence to go on. Dean, on the other hand, had books open of almost every monster that they had faced.

Sam sighs as he closes his laptop, rubbing his face with his hands afterward. "I can rule out most of the monsters we’ve hunted."

Dean closes the book he was reading. "Same here. We just need to keep figuring this out. And fast."

Sam nods leaning back into his chair. With it being late at night, he decided to check the local library in the morning to see if he could find any information for the case. Maybe a folktale, since the internet isn’t giving him much, the books Dean was reading weren’t helping either. Hopefully, the library will help, Sam thought. The two brothers didn’t have a clue as to what was terrorizing the town. “I’ll check the local library and see what they have. Check with the parents of the missing kids and see what they have to say.”

Dean nods his head.

__________

It was early in the morning when Dean woke up. He sits up stretching his arms over his head and yawns. He grabbed the pillow that laid behind him, throwing it towards his brother. “Rise and shine, Sammy.” But there came no response. Usually, Dean would hear a groan or a shout, or would even be hit back. He looks at his brother’s bed only to see it empty.

The door to the motel room opened to Sam in joggers clothing walking in. Shutting the door, he looks over at the brother in bed to see him staring. “What?”

Dean rolls his eyes and groans as he falls back onto the bed. He closes his eyes hoping to fall back asleep. 

“Dude, get up.” Sam spoke but when he got no reply, he told him again. And still, no reply. Sam knew Dean was just ignoring him so he huffs and grabs what he needs for a shower. When the man in bed hears the bathroom door close, he pops one eye open looking towards it. He hears the water start running and a grin makes its way onto his face. Dean stretches his arms up over his head then flips onto his stomach, putting his arms under his head and gets comfortable.

Not much longer later, Sam finishes his shower, quickly drying off and getting dressed. He walks out just to see Dean had fallen back to sleep. Sam walks over to his bed grabbing the pillow. He slowly and quietly made his way over to his sleeping brother. Knowing Dean, he can fall asleep faster than Crowley can snap his fingers which according to Sam, it did not surprise him.

He stood next to Dean’s bed, the pillow raised with his arms. The white object slammed right into the sleeping man's head. Sam quickly pulled it back in time just as Dean pulled the gun out from his other pillow sitting up, pointing it at Sam. “Damn it, Sam!” He sticks the dangerous weapon back in its original place. “I was having a hot dream with a sexy stripper.”

“Gross, Dean.” Sam states with disgust evident in his voice. “Get ready.” When Sam turned around, Dean sticks his tongue out at him.

____________________

Sam got dropped off at the town's public library. He walks in through the clear glass doors and looks around as he walks towards the books. Only three, maybe four, people were here. Of course, Sam didn’t think people were just going to wake up early in the morning just to read.

He starts at the town’s history section. His hands reached for books called ‘The History of Southhollow,’ ‘what Lies in the Hollow Tree,’ and ‘The Diary of Edgar Smith,’ and so on. Gone through so many cases before, especially with small towns like this one, Sam knew how to go about research. Specifically topics of witchcraft, rituals, and even folklore that might’ve taken place at any point in time.

Sam looked around more and grabbed books he thought would help him solve this case then headed towards an empty table in the back corner of the library. He sets the books he chose down and gets as comfortable as he could get and starts reading ‘The History of Southhollow.’ 

The History of Southhollow 

Southhollow, founded in 1659, was one of the many permanent settlements in what would become part of the United States.

On September 1st, 1659 the governor, Edgar Smith, declared the land he and his men discovered to be called Southhollow. The site for the new town was quickly picked for many reasons.

It only took Sam a couple of hours to the short book as it did not contain information that would have been relevant to the case. He sets it aside and starts on the next book.

‘The Diary of Edgar Smith,’ Sam thought. ‘ this might give me something.’ 

February 3rd, 1659

It was evening when my men and I arrived at this empty plot of land surrounded by trees. I chose that we are to camp here for the night and return to search for new land on the morrow. The journey to America was rough as storms clouded the seas and the tides were difficult to pass. My men and I come from Europe. We are in search of land in America to make a new home. 

 Sam read the entry, and just like the other book, he didn’t see anything of importance. He started to feel hopeless. The first book didn't give him the information he needed. So Sam had decided to skim the entries not to waste any more time as he did on the first book. 

 _________________

        Dean, on the other hand, was on his way to talk to the parents of the first missing child and to find out any more information Sam might have missed. He steps out of the impala, fixing his suit as his eyes roam over Johnson's large, luxurish house. He shuts the vehicle door and makes his way to talk to the porch. Dean rang the doorbell hearing Mozart play as a jingle. The man closes his eyes and sighs muttering, “freakin’ rich people.”

Movement from inside the house could be heard causing Dean to quickly fix his stance, opening his eyes as seriousness took over his face. It took a moment before a woman’s voice was heard through the door. “Yes? Who is it?”

“My name is Agent Lee, ma’am. I’m with the FBI,” he grabs his fake badge from his black suit pocket and flashes it to the lady through the peephole. The door sounds an unlock and opens to show a brown haired woman. He puts the badge back as she moves to let him in the house. His legs carry him through the threshold as his eyes look over the expensive objects.

“I’m Elizabeth. Can I get you anything to drink?” She asks, closing the door and watches him turn around at her voice.

“Coffee, please.” Dean smiles.

She nods her head, gesturing her hand towards the living room. “Have a seat. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Dean watches her leave before taking a seat in a chair that sat on the right side of the room. A coffee table, with a photo frame and flowers in the middle, sat before him and a couch on the other side. His eyes notice a photo of a man and woman whose arm is hooked through his and a young boy. Dean carefully picks it up and examines it. It reminded him of when his parents were alive and he didn’t know monsters existed.

“That’s my husband, William, and our son, Noah.” She walks into the room holding a tray with two cups of coffee on saucers and a bowl of sugar cubes. She bends down, setting the tray on the table. “I’m sorry. I don’t have milk or cream. How many sugar cubes would you like?”

Dean sets the frame back down. “Uh, none,” he spoke and he watched her shaky hands hand the cup and saucer to him, taking a seat on the couch. “What can I help you with, Agent?”

“I’m here about your son's disappearance.”

Elizabeth nods, a sad sigh leaving her mouth. “You must be partners with the other man that was here yesterday. He disappeared a month ago. My husband left for work early leaving me to take Noah to school. And when I went to pick him up at three p.m., he never came running to my car like he did everyday after school. I waited for thirty minutes thinking he was doing a test or something. After those minutes had passed, I walked into the building and walked to his classroom. He wasn’t in there and none of the staff saw him leave.”

Dean nods for her to continue.

She took a deep breath. “I went straight to the police station. They said I cannot file a missing persons report for twenty-four to seventy-hours. So I left calling my husband. He wasn’t worried. He thought Noah probably went to a friends house. I called all his friends' parents but none of them saw or had him. So all I could do was wait. The next day, a new police officer, Oliver Davis, was doing his rounds outside of town the next day. He noticed something bright red in the trees. He drove down the path into the forest and stopped a long way in. He went to check it out. He took a good look at it and saw my son's name on the tag.” She let out a loud sob. “The sheriff gathered a search party a day later and it lasted late into the night. No one found anything until the third day of searching. A group found an abandoned house and told the sheriff through the walkie talkie. He searched the house and found my son's dead body.”

“Was there any scratches or bite marks of any kind?” Dean asks.

“There were scratches over his chest and stomach and back. I, uh, I have photos.”

He watches her get up and walk over to the entryway dresser by the front door. She pulls the top drawer open, grabbing a manila-yellow colored envelope. Elizabeth makes her way back to her seat handing Dean the proof. "The coroner said it was an animal attack." 

He opens it pulling out the crime scene photos. The woman looks away not wanting to see them and puts a hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying out.

The picture shows Noah’s full body lying on his back. His red shirt torn with a piece missing. Deep scratches lined from his chest to his belly. Pants littered with holes and dirt and no shoes with one dirty sock. He moved onto the second photo. It showed a close up of the cuts. Flesh could be seen and pieces of skin ripped in multiple places as blood oozed out. On the last photo was a trail of blood leading to the body on the abandoned house floor.

Dean looked up at the mother and felt instantly bad for her. He couldn’t imagine what it was like losing a child. “Can I borrow these?”

“Take them. My husband wanted copies but I don’t. I want to never see those again. Is that all?”

_________________________________________

DEAN X READER TAGS:

akshi8278

[thou-crusty-batch-of-nature]

The rise and fall of our love

part one | part two

playlist: gold by nick murphy and chet faker

too young to burn by sonny and the sunsets

cold cold cold by cage the elephant

pairing: reader x james, lily x james

warnings: language, fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: hope you like my first proper series! i've been working on this for a while and i'm so excited to finally post it! feedback is very much appreciated so lmk what you think

also, credits to @approved-by-dentists for the iconic line "I'll drop kick your firstborn", you can check her frog memes here

and credits to the harry potter wiki fandom, I took those amortentia info from there

p.s. the cover is made by me

word count: roughly 2.4K

MASTERLIST

"You can't expect me to believe this!" James was looking at you with his mouth agape and exaggerated wide eyes which made the conversation slightly more embarrassing than it already was. 

"5 minutes till midnight!" Sirius announced from a table with several bottles of champagne by his side. 

"Well, you should. I'm telling the truth!" 

"Y/N!" he shouted in a serious note, as if he was trying to decide whether you were lying or not. Your ears were burning. Someone hex me right now. 

"James!" you answered - this was like a bad version of the Marco Polo game.

Something in your eyes convinced him of your honesty. "You have never been kissed on New Year's Eve!" he gasped with such amazement that you didn't have the heart to reveal that, in fact, you have never been kissed by anyone on any other occasion - you still needed that remaining bit of dignity. Well, not a real kiss, that is. The only time you have ever kissed someone was on a game of spin the bottle in 3rd year, when you and Remus shared a very awkward one-second kiss, that James never forgot to bring up every other day. 

"Why is it such a big deal - I don't need a kiss to have a lucky year! I can manage fairly well on my own, thank you very much!" 

The whole Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with chatter, clinking glasses and loud music. New Year's Eve meant a great deal to gryffindors, whether it was for the booze, the games or the chance to kiss your crush at midnight. 

You could proudly say that your presence was owed to none of the above, but rather to the persistent demands of your best friend, Marlene. Not that you didn't love a good party - it's the opposite, really. The only problem was your low intolerance to alcohol; three big gulps of beer were enough to make you the talk of the school for at least two weeks. And with Marlene and the marauders by your side, the chances of that to happen were outstandingly high.

"It's a matter of principle, it's about the neediness of human nature, about their need for closure and contact in order to feel full and satisfied! It's about the idea of knowing that you have emotional support!" he declared passionately with a hand over his chest. 

"So, people are horny and they need to kiss other people for them to feel valid and worthy?" You scrunched up your nose in disgust. "That's messed up!" 

"It's love, Y/N! It's not supposed to make sense, it's like magic!"

"You sound like a cringy girl from a romantic muggle movie!" You snorted.

"You're incredible!" James sighed, disappointed. "Alright, I'll show you, you'll see!" Soon enough, a gigantic clock appeared over the fireplace starting the New Year's countdown. 

"9…" People were chanting joyfully. 

"8…" You could feel James' stare, but you kept your eyes glued to the clock. 

"7...6…5…" You sensed him inch closer. 

"4…" He spun you around and cupped your cheek. 

"3…" You were lost in his eyes. They were an infusion of spring and autumn, a melt of fiery leaves and honey. 

"2… 1!" His soft lips met yours, and you could hear fireworks erupting outside the castle. You felt your soul implode. The kiss was shy, yet passionate. His hands were slowly grazing your back while yours found their way to his dark curls. It felt right - perfect, even. 

Even though it was your first kiss, you knew it was the best you'd ever have. Everything was easier when you were with James, everything felt at peace. You pulled apart when you ran out of breath, still longing for more. Your whole face was on fire, and you let your forehead rest on his. 

"Here you go. Wasn't that bad, was it?" 

"Eh- t'was alright." you joked, trying to sound cool. You laughed nervously, though you were pretty sure it sounded more like a squeal. Great. 

"Do you think Lily saw it?" Something in his voice made you realise that he wished she did. You were just a puppet in his cruel play. Your heart wrenched a little, but you managed to hide your pain. 

"Don't know. I haven't seen her tonight." You were his friend. That's all. The kiss meant nothing for him, and that was okay. 

Just great. 

"I think imma go check on Marls." you said, trying to hold your tears back. "Thank you, for the kiss." you exclaimed sarcastically, though James didn't seem to notice. He nodded absentmindedly, his eyes already on a certain red-head. 

Oh, you were so stupid! How could you let this happen? A wave of nausea washed over you while the knot in your stomach kept pulling at your insides. 

You made your way through the sea of people, right where you knew Marlene would be. There she was: lounging on the couch next to Sirius, drinks in hands, talking about Merlin knows what. You suddenly felt very bad to disturb your best friends who were both clearly having a great time, so you quickly turned the other way. 

"Y/N!" Marlene shouted. Shit. You quickened your pace, only to hear her shouts over the music. "Y/N Y/L/N stay where you are or I swear I'll knock you down!" 

You continued to walk but stopped when you saw James and Lily a few steps ahead. She was laughing while he was whispering something in her ear. Lily spotted you and smiled teasingly. You took a deep breath. Defeated, you turned and saw Marlene's tall figure facing you. "What happened? Why are you crying?" 

You haven't realised that until she asked you. Good thing that James was too busy fawning over Lily to notice. 

Marlene didn't wait for an answer to take your hand in hers and lead you back to your dorm. She pulled you in her arms while you finally let your tears fall. You felt pathetic; how could you believe he would actually like you the way you did? 

You told her everything apart from that unbecoming smile Lily gave you. They were also friends, not as good as you two were, but you didn't want to stir up any arguments. 

You and Marlene have been best friends for over six years. You used to be quite an introvert, whereas Marlene was cocky enough for the two of you, so she made it her goal to get you out of your shell. And she succeeded - even too well, some would say. 

And as for you and Lily, things were - you guessed you could call them decent. Neither of you made any effort to be besties, as Lily made it quite clear she didn't like you. However, you managed to become acquaintances for the sake of your friends'. 

"Y/N! What is our number one rule?" she asked when you finished. 

You sighed. "Bros over hoes." 

"I will never put a boy over our friendship, Y/N. You come first. Especially when you have a problem."

"Okay, mother." you rolled your eyes. "I should've drank the damned firewhisky. It would have been a far better alternative to get shitface drunk than deal with all this." 

"You're right." You glared at her. "What? You really are. That just proves my theory further: technically, alcohol is a solution."

×××

Naturally, the odds haven't been in your favour, and Lily and James were closer than ever. You would be lying if you said you were happy for them. 

"Now, Y/N/N, that's just cruel!" Marlene said with her mouth full, spitting half of her breakfast on you. Then, she silently handed you a napkin. You gave her a nod of thanks. "I mean, I get it, you are a tad bit jealous, but that's understandable!" 

"Am not!" you defended. "I'm happy for my friend for finding his love." You choked that word out. "Okay, I might be a tiny tiny bit jealous but that's not the case right now! I just don't understand his choice!" 

"Ah… here goes that 'he could've had all this but he chose that' speech..." Marlene sighed. 

"Yes- I mean no! That's not what I mean! I just don't like Lily!"

"I know…" she said regretfully. "She is a good friend to me, really - she's not that bad. I know you two had your problems, but… Wait, what are your problems exactly?" she squinted her eyes in confusion. "You've never told me the real reason you two don't get along." 

"Well…" 

"Good morning darlings!" Sirius interrupted, plopping down next to Marlene. 

"Good morning to you too!" James chirped with a sheepish smile plastered on his face. He sat next to you, hugged you and you could swear you heard him squeal. 

"Well, someone seems to be in an awfully good mood this early in the morning. Waddup?" you ask, popping the 'p'. 

"Someone got back to the dorm very late last night after having spent the entire day with -" 

"LILY-FLOWER! HERE!" James got up and waved frantically towards her. She furrowed her brows when she spotted him next to you and you quickly averted your gaze.

"Hello there!" she smiled, sitting down on the other empty spot next to James. She took his hand in hers and glanced at you. You rolled your eyes. 

"Is there something wrong?" Lily asked innocently. 

"Nah, everything's alright." Just my back hurts a little... from all the stabs. The intensities of your stares could burn holes through each other's bodies. 

"Y/N, have you finished your DADA essay? I think it was due Wednesday and I haven't written a word!" Remus cuts in, sensing the tension. You made a mental note to thank him later.

×××

"So what was all that about?" You were in the library "helping" Remus write his essay - in reality, you were munching on his chocolate while he was reading.

"What?" You decided to play dumb, hoping he would drop the subject. Remus leaned in his chair and rubbed his eyes. It was too early for any of this. 

"Your 'friendship' with Lily." he air quoted. 

"There's nothing wrong with us…" 

"Oh, then let me call her here and make friendship bracelets together!" he mocked. "You almost hugged to death out there!" 

"Quiet!" you heard madam Pince's high screech.

You let your head fall in your hands. "Is it so obvious?" you whispered. He gave you the are-you-kidding-me face and you groaned. 

"Fine! The truth is that I don't know why she hates me! I've tried to be her friend for so many years, ever since she became Marl's friend - and she rejected me every single time. Not to mention that she has never been the nicest to me. And now she acts like I drop-kicked her firstborn and I'm sick of it."

"So nothing happened?" 

"Nothing that I know of…" 

"Huh…" It was clear he expected somewhat of a greek tragedy. You glanced at the clock and cursed, you were running late to class. "Remus, we gotta leave."

You both got up in a hurry, stuffing parchments and quills in your bags. "Potions?"

You checked the time again. "In five minutes." 

"Shit." 

You sprinted down the halls of Hogwarts, going on every shortcut you knew. You reached the classroom faster than ever - seriously, you must’ve broken a record.

"What time is it?" Remus asked, a bit out of breath. 

"10:04" you managed to say. 

Remus knocked on the door while you struggled to keep an upright position - you had to admit that you were a bit out of shape. 

"Ah, Remus and Y/N, I was beginning to worry! Everybody is late today! Do you happen to know about Potter and Lily's whereabouts?" 

"No, sir." 

"Probably in a broom closet." Sirius said between coughs. Slughorn decided not to hear this remark. 

"Very well, then find your seats and get your books out." You hurried towards the empty desk behind Sirius and a now-seated Remus. Where was he? 

"Now, as I was saying. I prepared some concoctions this morning which you can find on your desks. Any ideas what these might be?" 

"It's Armortentia!" someone from the front exclaimed. 

"Excellent! Now, this is the most powerful love potion in existence. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. Despite its power, Amortentia doesn't create actual love; it's impossible to manufacture or imitate love."

 You were already growing tired. "Miss Y/L/N, you seem awfully relaxed. Care to reveal what scent do you smell?" 

Your head shot up from the desk, trying to remember the question. You were ready to ask the professor to repeat it when you saw Sirius pointing to his nose and then to the potion. 

Thanks, you mouthed and Sirius winked. 

"I smell…" you started, closing your eyes and sniffing the liquid. 

"I smell gingerbread, old books and…"...James. You quickly opened your eyes as the realisation dawned onto you. "... musky cologne." 

"Wonderful, miss Y/L/N! Now, in the hour that remains you and your desk mates will have to brew an acceptable vial of Amortentia, helped by the example before you and of course, your books. So, open the books at -"

A loud knock interrupted Professor Slughorn. He turned his head just as James and Lily barged into the room all giggly and blushy. 

"Excuse us, professor! We had some urgent Prefect duties!" Yeah, right. 

"You are a tad late, I'm afraid. Oh well, you may come in, I've just finished the instructions for today's lesson. Potter, there's an empty seat next to Y/N; Lily, you can take a seat next to Miss Macdonald."

"Hello, roomie!" James whispered when he sat down, wiggling his eyebrows. "What are we brewing today?" he asked. Why did he always have that stupid smirk on his face? 

"That!" you pointed towards the tiny cauldron in front of you. 

"Hmm - let me see." he leaned forward to look at it, then scrunched up his nose when he tried to smell it. 

"Bloody hell, Y/N! Do you bathe in your perfume? And what is with this smell - lilies? Are lilies here? Well, besides the most beautiful one over there?" he nodded towards Evans. 

You couldn't help but blush and look away. You were sure you didn't put any perfume on this morning, so that meant…? 

"We are brewing Amortentia, you barmy wanker!" you heard Sirius' wheezy voice, who was trying and failing to hold his laughter. 

"Oh" James said, rubbing his neck. "Shit." 

Shitty indeed. 

You were in deep. 

****

part two

taglist: @futurewriter2000, @puppycat714, @booksbeforebois, @slytherinquill, @screennamealreadyused, @fific7, @with1love1anu

[cryysiswritesthings]

Beneath the Darkness in My Bones || Chapter Four

Fandom: Inuyasha Rating: Mature/NC-17 Warnings: Horror, Psychological Torture, Trauma, Implied/Referenced Torture, Rape, Parent/Child Incest, Obsession, Drugged Sex, Sexual Assault, Abuse, Non-Consensual Somnophilia Status: In Progress Pairing(s): KogKag (main), BanKag, Oni(gumo)Kag Summary: Horror is all she knows. Darkness is in his blood. She is the other half of his soul, and his calls for her echo long into the night.

Find it On: Tumblr | AO3

***NOMINATED FOR THE BEST DARK FICTION CATEGORY FOR FEUDAL CONNECTION’S 2020 3RD QUARTERLY ANNUAL AWARD!!***

Thank you so much to my amazing readers! You guys rock!

Series: Flowers Grown in Darkness Desecrate You

Chapters on Tumblr: Prologue || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 ||

Tumblr Tags: #kogkag #bankag #onikag #inuyasha #beneath the darkness #btd chapter #flowers desecrate series

The room is dark wood and fogged glass, the canopy above her draped in red. There's a fire blazing in the corner, warming her body for reasons she doesn't understand. She lays atop the blankets, her only covering a robe so sheer she may as well not be wearing it at all. The fabric is cool against her heated flesh, slits on its side letting it pool around her enticingly.

There's a man at the edge of her bed, with long dark hair and hard eyes. He is dressed as she is, in a black silk robe hanging open, revealing pale skin. But where she is naked beneath her silk, he is wearing trousers made to sleep in.

They do little to hide his interest in her state of undress.

"I see you've made yourself ready for me, dearest." 

Had she? Her mind is filled with cobwebs, a blurred haze keeping her from her memory.

"I have made myself ready for you." Yes, that must be it. Why else would she be this way?

"Is my wife pleased to see me?"

His wife? So he was her husband then. Then yes, she should be happy to see him.

"I am happy to see you," she tells him. The words are correct, but they do not feel like her own.

"Of course you are." His smile is sharp and wicked. She shivers, though she cannot say why. "Come to me."

She makes to stand, but he slashes her a look.

"On your knees, pet."

Her knees? It takes a moment for the command to make sense. He wants her to crawl on the bed to him. He wants her displayed.

He crooks a finger at her, motioning her forward. She does as she's bid, crawling up the bed on all fours. He lifts her by the chin when she reaches him, making her rise on her knees. He can see all of her.

"I am your husband."

"You are my husband."

"You are mine to do with as I please."

She swallows. "I am yours to do with as you please."

His smile is deadly. "Undress me."

Her hands are shaking as they reach for him, pushing the silk from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. She reaches for his trousers next, but his hand on her wrist stops her. Instead he draws it forward, making her fingers circle and tighten around his manhood.

"Use your hands, dearest. Please your husband."

Unsure, she flexes her fingers around him, stroking him through the soft cloth. His eyes flutter shut, a moan of pleasure humming in his throat. He's enjoying it then.

She continues to tug at him, and there is now a growing wetness where his tip rests against the fabric. She circles her finger there, and he hisses through his teeth. His eyes on hers are dark, hungry. They make her nervous.

He reaches to the small table at the edge of the bed, on which sits an uncorked bottle of wine, a small vial, and two full goblets. With one hand he picks up the vial and opens it, pouring its contents into one of the goblets. He recaps the vial and sets it carefully aside, then picks up the now slightly fuller cup, holding it out to her.

"Do not stop pleasuring me. Drink."

He lifts the cup to her lips, tilting it enough to allow the wine to flow into her mouth. She swallows obediently, her hands ever moving. He makes her drink until the goblet is empty, and sets it aside.

The cobwebs have grown, the haze blurring her vision. The man in front of her pushes her back on the bed and crawls over her, making her hold herself open for him. Presenting herself like a sacrifice.

He aligns himself with her opening, his smile full of teeth. Her blue eyes are glossy, unseeing.

"Hello, Kikyo."

He thrusts inside.

It was three more days before his lordship decided to finally leave the castle. In the end, he decided to extend his hunting trip by a few more days in order to tour the local villages on their return home.

This, of course, meant it wasn't only Bankotsu going with him. He'd also decided to bring Jakotsu and Kyokotsu along as well. Jakotsu was known by his reputation of cruelty alone, but Kyokotsu’s massive size was more than enough to use as an intimidation tactic.

The rumors spreading through the castle village that he had cannibalistic tendencies were only an added bonus.

Still, it meant the castle was quiet, and it was safe for her to walk the halls without having to look over her shoulder. The peace let her think of other things, and she found her mind wandering back to what she'd seen in the hidden room the previous week. There was no doubt that whoever had been trapped in that cell was still sitting there. The only question was whether or not they were still alive.

The thought continued to haunt her. If they were dead, there was nothing she could do for them. But if they lived, what state were they in? Were they being allowed food to eat, water to drink? Blankets to keep out the nights growing chill? Should… should she help them?

Her immediate response was yes, of course she should, if only because she hoped some kind soul would do the same if she were in such a position. But not only that, it was the right thing to do despite the potential danger. And to not do something, to not try and help in some way…

It made her feel like her father. 

That was what ultimately decided her. The kitchens were in the lower part of the castle, and no one stopped her on the way. There she found a small basket which she filled with fruit, bread, and cheeses. She also made sure to pick up a pouch of water.

A cheesecloth kept her precious cargo from prying eyes, but there were no servants in the halls to stop her. Even so, habit kept her close to the walls and out of the way of any potential passer by, while also letting her peek around corners to ensure she wouldn’t run into anyone she wanted to avoid.

The tapestry that hid the doorway loomed over her, its subjects staring down with leering eyes. But she would not be swayed. Swallowing her nerves and finding her courage, she pushed her way past it and slipped inside the door.

Again there was little light to guide her way. The scones on the walls had not been lit, and would stay that way until Jakotsu returned. 

Kagome made her way down the stairs slowly, keeping one hand braced against the wall to guide her. The landing was empty of its noisey bucket, and she finally allowed herself to look at the dungeon beyond her.

Before her was the large cell where she’d seen Jakotsu. Now, however, she could see the smaller walkway to its left, the wall lined with the bars of empty cells. In the corner to her left stood a torture rack, its wooden table covered in old blood. Next to it sat a rusted bucket, but for her own peace of mind she wouldn’t try to see what was inside.

Her attention was drawn forward to the large cell when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Nerves slowed her, but she would not be deterred.

“Hello?”

She waited, but there was no response. Swallowing thickly, she moved closer to peer inside.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

“You shouldn’t be here.“

Kagome jumped and her steps paused, unsure now of her approach.

He sighed. “If you stay here, he’ll find you. You don’t want him too.”

“Jakotsu.“ Her eyes went to the floor, fingers curling in a fist over her heart.

“You know who he is.“ The other didn’t sound surprised. “If you know him, then you know what he’s capable of. He’ll do more than hurt you, especially since you’re a woman.“

“No, he won’t.“ The other shifted, and she imagined he was looking through stone to see her. “He knows he’s not allowed to hurt me.”

He scoffed. “You really expect that to stop him?”

“It’s what’s always stopped him.” Her voice grew quiet. “He takes it out on others instead.“

There was a low snarl. “Then what the hell are you doing down here?“

“I… I knew he kept someone down here. I was worried.“

The man snorted. “Just another secret in stone. And this castle’s secrets are better left uncovered.“ His voice was bitter. “Trust me. You can’t help anyone who lives here by finding them out.“

Curious, she stepped forward. “How do you know that?“

“This isn’t exactly my first day here.“ There was a shuffle of noise, chains clanking as the figure moved. “You should get out of here. Before he finds you.“

“He won’t find me. He’s not here.” Cautiously, she stepped forward. She could just make out the edge of an arm behind the bars. ”My father took him on his hunt.“

“Your father?” She could hear the frown, hear the clang of metal dragged on the stone floor. “Whose your father?“

Instinct told her not to tell him. To give a stranger an edge over her was dangerous, foolhardy. 

“Lord Onigumo. My father is Lord Onigumo.“

The stranger behind the bars moved, and now she could see all of him in the flickering torchlight. He had eyes like amber and long silver hair, matted with dirt and blood. Ears, canine ears, drooped atop his head.

But he looked emaciated. His skin was covered in badly healed scars; it clung to his bones, making him look like a walking skeleton. It made her sick to think of.

“How old are you?“

She had to swallow hard before she could answer him. “I’ll be one and twenty this year.“

He looked behind her to the stairs, tracing their path. She followed his gaze for a moment and turned back to him. “If you can tell me where the key is, I’ll release you.“

His eyes flew back to her in surprise.

She gave him a nervous smile. “No one deserves to be trapped here. If I can free you, I will.”

He was quiet, searching her expression for any sign of deceit. His shoulders relaxed when he found none. “I believe you. But you can’t help me. Jakotsu keeps the key with him at all times.“

“… I see.” Her eyes fell to the ground, fingers clutching at the skirt of her dress. “I’m sorry.“

“Don’t be.” He tilted his head, watching her curiously. “You said Naraku was your father?“

“I don’t know a Naraku. My father is Onigumo.”

“Naraku, Onigumo. Same guy, different name.“ He moved closer to the bars, bracing his arms against them. ”Your mother must be Kikyo.“

Kagome nodded, though her shoulder’s tightened at the mention of her mother. “Yes, she was. This winter will mark five years since she passed.“

The other shut his eyes, expression tight. “How did she die?“

“I… I don’t know.”

“You’re her daughter, how the hell could you not know?”

She swallowed. “I wasn’t permitted to know. They said… the healers said to know would give me undue stress. So I was never told.”

He scoffed. “Right. More like the bastard killed her and wanted it kept quiet. Didn’t want it getting out.” Amber eyes open, riddled with hearts-pain and an old anger. “The others can’t know. He’d be dead already if they did.”

“I…” His gaze met hers, but she carried on. “I know my father to be capable of many things, but… I do not think he killed her.”

Cracked lips bled as they lifted in a snarl. “You’d defend that bastard?”

Kagome shook her head. “No. I only remember his…. His obsession.” She swallowed. “Knowing that… I cannot think he would rid himself of her willingly. Nor by his choice.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said softly, leaning against the bars that separated them. “In the end… she’s still dead.”

Her words were a sympathetic whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His chains rattled, and his body sagged. “You didn’t do anything.”

Perhaps not. But her existence could not have made things any easier. “… did you know my mother well?”

He didn’t lift his head. “She was the only friend I ever had. My Uncle sent me to find her. But she wasn’t ready to leave yet, so I stayed. Naraku came not long after that.”

When she told me she didn’t want to get married… I told her I’d take her wherever she wanted to go. Even if it meant never returning to my home.” His voice cracked the longer he spoke.

“We planned to leave the night before her wedding. But someone found out, and I was taken prisoner. Naraku brought me to her. He told her if she didn’t go through with the marriage he’d kill me then and there.”

He scowled. “It wasn’t an idle threat. The men he employed shouldn’t have been able to hold me, but they could. Kikyo knew that, and if they could hold me… well.” He shook his head. “Even if she’d let him do it, she couldn’t escape on her own. So she agreed. Naraku called for a priest and had the marriage performed that night.” Something dark took hold of him, though she could not see it.

“The bastard made me watch him consummate the marriage.”

Kagome bit her lip, her grip tightening on the basket even as she stepped forward. Her pale hand covered his. “You loved her.”

He shrugged. “It was a long time ago. And you said she died, so… at least she’s free of him now.”

“Yes. There is that.”

He finally lifted his head and met her eyes. An ear flicked curiously atop his head, his nose quivering as he inhaled. “You smell like her. Only a little though. It’s nice.”

She finally cracked a smile, amused despite herself. “Thank you, I think.”

“It’s not a bad thing.” He nodded at the basket in her hand that he’d ignored until then. “What’s that for?”

“Oh!” She’d almost forgotten why she’d come down here in the first place. “It’s food. I brought it down for you. With Jakotsu gone, I was worried there was no one to look after you.”

Amber eyes were wide with surprise. “You… brought that for me? What for?”

Kagome looked at him curiously. “So you would have something to eat. I wasn’t sure who knew about your presence here, or if anyone did for that matter. So I thought…”

“I don’t…” he shook his head, swallowing thickly though his eyes never left it. “You didn’t have to do that. Starvation won’t kill me. Just makes things difficult.” 

“That’s no reason for you to go hungry,” she said firmly. “If anything, it just means you should eat more.”

He snorted, lips quirking in an awkward smile. “What’s your name, princess?”

“I’m Kagome. What’s yours?”

“Inuyasha.”

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: You hold my heart, Dean

*Not my gif* Pretty boy

Pairing: AUCollegeDean X Sophie(OC Character) 

Pov: 3rd person 

Warnings: Stuck at home, Covid, Angst, love, Drifting apart, Quarantining, Cursing, talk of alcohol 

Summary: Dean and Sophie have been dating for a year. Both too scared to drop the L-bomb on each other that they're seeming to be drifting apart, but how far can they drift apart when they're both stuck at home with each other. ”Dean you could help you know” “Sophie, did you drink the last of the beer” “Dean, what happened between the two of us?” “Fifi, I think... I think I love you. Please say something..” 

Word Count: 1,153

At the beginning of 2020, everything seemed great. Everything was great, they had a brand new year ahead of them, they had just celebrated their first anniversary. All was swell until Covid19 hit, sticking them in our home, away from their loved ones, away from the fresh hair of Texas. Now, this didn't mean that they couldn't go out on their porch, but what was the point of doing so, if that meant no contact with any of their friends.

Dean and Sophie had been together for a year now. Everything was great before covid they had gotten the time they always needed when they would go to work. And come home, arguments were almost none existent. Things seemed like they were perfect. Work, home, snuggle, sleep, and repeat all over the next day.

When the news caught what was going on with the waves of sickness. Schools being shut down, work firing people, stimulus checks sucking ass. Empty apartments, homes being full with the life that they only ever saw on holidays. Dean worked in a local coffee shop, and Sophie worked in the library at the college that they were both attending. A college that was now forced to home thousands of people, and not teach them.

But as much as Dean complained Sophie was happy that they were finally going to be home. For what seemed like the first 2 weeks of covid after the shutting down of outdoor activities, it was great for them. Sophie had dragged Dean to the couch listing off a long list of movies and shows that they should try to start or finish by the end of the 14 days. The first week was all Disney movies that Sophie didn't want to watch by herself fearing that she would cry for eons. They ate junk food and the leftovers of the week pryer.

The second week Dean told Sophie that they needed to finish "The game of thrones", and "The big bang theory" two very different shows, but nonetheless, he grabbed the junk food, and pop in the fridge this time dragging Sophie to the couch. And when they 14 days were up they were both ready to head back to work and only see each other at night. But that was when the world told everyone no, sorry this is more than just a 14 day, a 2-week vacation from everything it's more like 9 more months.

It got a lot rougher for the both of them. That time that was normally spent on getting over their fights was turning into Sophie being locked in their bedroom, and Dean stuck in the living room. She'd only unlock the door at night, letting Dean come back into their shared living space. The air always so thick with tension, Dean would lose his t-shirt crawl into bed, and leave a cold space between both of them.

And every morning Sophie would wake up to a cup of coffee, and a small plate of breakfast. Even with the thick tension between them Dean never had it in his heart to be cold-hearted with her. That's when the fighting started. Being stuck together for too long was getting to both of them.

"Dean, you know you could help with the dishes right?" Sophie had screamed from the kitchen one day. She was tired of doing all of the dishes, tired of being a housewife, before the virus Dean and her would take turns switching who had dishes and other chores around the house.

"Sophie! Did you drink the last of the beer?" Dean yelled from the kitchen while Sophie was upstairs. "No, dickbag I don't drink your fucking beer!" She yelled back her voice not only hoarse, but her nerves becoming crushed with Dean's nasty attitude and his assumptions.

"I just went to the store 2 days ago. You're telling me you drank two 12 packs of this shit" She said as she walked into the kitchen. "You know whatever, Sophie! I'm going to the store I'll be back soon." And with that Dean was gone from the house.

Up until this point, Dean and Sophie's relationship was like a friendship something that she thought couldn't be broken. She loved him, loved his bright green eyes, sharp jawline, funny jokes, amazing sex. But they had never said "I love you" to each other.

Deans life growing up was horrible the term I love you wasn't said very often. His father was abusive and was in and out of the picture. He took care of his brother always, he never had time to be taught what love was. But Dean knows that Sophie was love, Sophie was the only person he would want to be with for the rest of his life. He loved every feature about her, her long blonde hair, green eyes like his, curvy figure, loving personality.

Dean wanted to say I love you to her, but he just couldn't. He was just afraid of the words, he was afraid that it would become real once he said them. Sophie was at home sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, just staring into the blank tv screen. She sat for what seemed like hours to her, she was broken up that Dean was being such a jerk.

Her life was much different loving parents, a safe home to grow up in, being able to grow up and have a great childhood. Something that she sometimes thought Dean was jealous of. Somehow she had ended up Dean someone who cared only about her, wanted nothing but good for her. She knew that this... this being stuck inside the house was getting to Deans head, he had never been nasty with her. At this, she was starting to question what had gotten both of them into such a situation.

When Dean had finally come back from not going to the store just driving around. He saw the girl he had fallen in love with sitting on the couch curled into one end. Before he could say anything Sophie beat him to the punch. "Dean? What happened between the two of us?" Sophie asked her body seeming to become more and more a part of the couch.

Dean just stared at her. Both of them had minds alike, both thinking about their relationship, worried about what would happen next.

"Fifi, I think... I think that I love you." Dean said walking closer to the couch but not wanting to impose on Sophie's space. "Please say something, please say that after a year of being together and being stuck at home with each other hasn't made you not want to be with me anymore?" Dean asked his eyes become watery, the tension leaving his shoulders and his body becoming limp making him slide down to the floor. His head making its way to resting on Sophie's knee.

Tag List: 

@akshi8278​

[carrottuan93]

Haven't met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (2/4) | part1 - part3 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 1420

You felt an agonizing level of pain hitting your head the moment you open your eyes to the sound of some lowkey hip-hop playlist in the background that you know nothing about. You don’t remember setting up your spotify on loop for the rest of the night but still you find the music suit for your taste despite hearing it for the first time. You shuffled on your bed, uneasy with the throbbing sensation of your cranium being drilled in the process. You sat down on your spot and were greeted by a glass of water and aspirin purposely located on a nearby table to tend on your painful hangover. Your eyebrows creased in confusion as you roam your eyes around the unfamiliar black and white interior of the room. Eyes squinting, you placed the partially emptied glass on the table after drinking the medicine and still you’re in no better means of explaining as to why you’re feeling weird today. You give your head a slight massage and a few taps on your cheek as you gather your composure. You noticed that you slept on your black above the knee dress and must have forgotten to switch into your pajamas last night, which explains you still have your coat intact when you went home but it is missing already by the time you woke up. Where could it be? You shuffled at the edge of the bed and slumped on the ground looking for your stilettos when you came across the sight of a shoe cabinet filled with converse sneakers aligned in pairs as well as an open dresser filled with different varieties of hoodies and men clothing that are too foreign to be included in your own cabinet.

 “Shit!" reality hit you like a thunderbolt in a desert void of air, cutting all possible passageways for blood to flow freely on your circulation as if you became anemic at one point in your life. The lucid interval took effect when sobriety woke your being upon hearing the sound of someone using the shower and the smell of fresh shave accumulating on the slightly opened bathroom door. You gulped as you start to look for your sanity being thrown away on the windowsill and you're mentally preparing to jump outside as well because you still have no clue on how you ended up in a different room. What have you done for Good lord's sake?

 ----

 You glanced on your phone whilst taking your 3rd cup of coffee for the day. 10 minutes before 5pm, you read as it flashed on your screen. You haven't eaten any decent meal ever since you left the stranger's room in a hurry this morning. Fearing that you'll be seen by the guy in the shower, you escaped in the flash of a lightning. To make your day even worse, you cannot find your stilettos underneath his bed and you even grabbed the wrong coat on your way out. Worry haunted you like a madman after discovering that you accidentally went to room 1207 across your unit 1212. You're mentally skinning yourself alive by breaking into the lion's den without even knowing whom did you spend the night with. Your best friend sent you tons of messages asking for specific details because you’ve been sending her cryptic texts about your situation. You weren’t thinking straight and the bile in your stomach is rising up like it’s about to explode any minute now. But you can’t escape your work with your current dilemma that’s why you need to stay sane until you meet with Eunhee tonight.

 "Ms. Y/n, thank you for submitting the report on time even on a holiday. I know it must be troublesome for you to go here while you're in the middle of your Christmas spirit but we’d like to fully adhere to our schedule on time before new year. Mr. Raymond is an important client, so we need to make sure that we're being transparent at all costs.” After a meaty discussion with your senior, you gladly took a breather when your meeting adjourned. You’re an accountant and being part of an accounting firm surely entails hours and hours of long work leaving you with no time at all for yourself. It’s a busy season as usual but you won’t miss out the holidays for your busy roll. You’d like to check your schedule on your planner but to no avail, you misplaced it last night. Since you’re carrying it wherever you go, you’re 101% sure that you left it on the unit across your place along with your other stuff. You haven’t had the opportunity to claim your things this morning due to the embarrassment crisis that is weighing down on your shoulder. Your current work engagement with this particular client is a big deal for you, so you chose to save your ass from being reprimanded by your boss and being late to work. Maybe your best friend can think clearly than your wasted self. ‘Just kill me already’ is all you can tell your poor being. You heard your phone rang all of a sudden and Eunhee’s name flashed on the screen.

 “Girl, where the hell are you?” You must be zoning out. You reached the brink of your anxiety when the clock’s hand struck to eight, wondering how come 3 hrs has already passed with you just sitting on your cubicle.

 “Eunhee, I’ve been through a tough day and I don’t know how to explain my current situation but I’ll be there in a second I promise.” And the Amazing Race Christmas edition has begun. Dressed on your black turtleneck blouse tucked in your skinny jeans, you complete your party outfit with a stylish beanie to match with your caramel trench coat so as not to look underprepared for the occasion. You then rushed through the nearest macaron store to grab your order and have decided that you just finish doing your makeup inside the uber to maximize your time. Geez, it’s freezing cold outside and the streets are filled with lovebirds which only made your stomach turn into a sour milk. You’re famished by the time you arrived at the address Eunhee sent you and you were welcomed with her bright smile and her expression demanding for an explanation.

 “I know that look on your eyes Eunhee but feed me first before I prepare for my death bed.” You hugged her so tight like your world depended on her. She dragged you inside the house which you believe to be Jackson’s place. You didn’t think of Jackson as some kind of a party jock but sure this guy knows how to throw a proper party for a group. His house is warm and inviting, you gotta commend his taste for classical music filling the air but he’s nowhere to be found. You’re slowly getting into the holiday mood, with a few acquaintances that you meet along the hallways and a feast filled with nothing but sweet treats, you began to think if you went to a gingerbread house instead of an adult’s party.

 “Before everything else, where are the drinks?” You need a booze so you can open up easily to Eunhee but she ordered you to pick a paper inside the bowl in return.

“Calm down, Jackson’s little cousins from the US are coming as well so you won’t be expecting to see liquor at this early hour. We serve the kiddie treats first and we move on to a full-grown up party in the midnight but you gotta choose your secret Santa first.” You gave her an inquisitive look and wonder what secret Santa is she talking about? You picked a random green paper.

 “Wait, what’s with the secret Santa thing?”

“Everyone is required to bring a gift for someone else”

“I wasn’t informed? You didn’t tell me!” Maybe today’s series of panic attacks aren’t enough for your breakdown but here’s the cherry to the cake.

 “Oh my god, Y/n.” Eunhee gasped in shock just in time when Jackson entered the living room in his bright holiday spirit.

“Hey Y/n. Looking good tonight, huh? You like my place?” He went over to Eunhee and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

“My first time going to your place feels like home, Jackson.” You smiled at him and you could tell he came with a company.

“That’s nice to hear. But girls, I want you to meet my cousin from LA, Mark.”

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

Why am I so tired all the time?

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up after wetting the bed. change child, change bedsheets, replace drinks, turn night time music back on, convince youngest child that it is in fact still night time. Climb back into bed a 4:55.

5:00 am: eldest child comes to tell me that youngest child wants to play. I am aware, because I have heard her loudly declaring such since I left their room. Tell oldest child to go back to bed. Pray that, somehow, for the very first time, they will put themselves back to sleep. 

5:05 am: give up on hopeless prayers. Get up and take both children to the living room. Change the youngest into underwear. Log into tablets and override the “do not turn on until 6 am” setting. Wait for coffee to finish brewing.

5:23 am: extract self from underneath 2 children and a dog to pour first cup of coffee. It’s half caff, because spouse has a heart condition. Remind self that I can have several cups with impunity.

5:45 am: Eldest child is unhappy with the pre-made breakfast provided for him the night before. When asked what he would like to eat, he responds, “bacon, chinese food, or pizza.” Explain, again, that we need a variety of foods for our bodies to grow strong. Spend 15 minutes convincing him to eat $5 worth of blackberries as a compromise.

6:12 am: Finish 2nd cup of coffee, realize that eldest child’s night time pull up is overflowing with poop. Usher him to the bathroom for a bath. Feel humbled when I realize that I spent 10 years in grad school, and yet I am still reduced to wiping shit off another person. Calmly remind eldest child that he is capable of using the potty, and that I have confidence in him. 

6:30 am: Spouse awakes, complains that he slept poorly. Roll eyes and go back to drinking 3rd cup of coffee, in between being elbowed in the stomach and explaining that no, I do not know how to work the video game you just downloaded 15 seconds ago. Remind self that I am their physical and mental safe place, which is worth the literal bruises and mental stress. 

6:45 am: extract self from pile of children and dog by physically lifting each dependent off my lap. Verify that spouse is up for supervision duties, collect running clothes, and start treadmill.

6:47 am: stop treadmill because youngest child has entered the room and decided that I will not run today because it’s not fair. Remind self that arguing fairness with a 3 year old is the definition of futility. Gently remind her that I love her, she is a big girl, and she can play independently while I run. 

6:49 am: start treadmill again. Nagging calf pain seems to be back. Scale back workout, remind self that value of the run is not the distance. Do extra core workout to compensate.

7:30 am: shower. Mediate 2 sibling fights from shower. Fortunately, children are camped out in the bathroom with me, so I don’t have to leave a trail of water through the house to interact.

7:35 am: Marvel at the thought that spouse takes a 45 min shower. EVERY DAY. Note gratitude that I am working from home, and no longer have to style hair and makeup. 

7:36 am: Refill kid drink cups for the 3rd time today. Spend 30 minutes convincing, cajoling, and bribing kids to put on clean underwear. We no longer try for clothes. 

8:06 am: turn on work computer. Respond to a weekend full of emails. Handle 5 pressing tasks for side hustle, reasoning that if I get them out of the way, I can push the rest of that to do list to after working hours.

8:45 am: Answer persistent pounding on locked office door. refill drinks and provide snack. Reassure youngest child that mommy is still here, but she needs to work. 

9:03 am: debate whether going to the bathroom is worth leaving the office and the begging that ensues. Make wrong choice either way. 

9:15 am: morning meetings get shuffled later, because childless coworkers “are running late this morning.” Marvel at the concept of 9:15 am being early.

9:30 am: solid wall of meetings until noon. Update team on status at end of last week, despite not remembering what you just ate for breakfast. Realize that you haven’t eaten breakfast. Run training and introduction for new team member. You are the only woman on the team,  so you get do the training because “you’re so good at explaining things.” 

12:00 pm: Call youngest child’s preschool, make sure you can bring by her supplies and still adhere to Covid protocols. Preschool is also side hustle, so cram a parent and employee meeting into a single hour. Explain that new registration system will, in fact, be more efficient than old paper system. Remind preschool staff that we committed to going paperless. Make small talk with preschool teachers until the hour is up. Hop in the car and speed home.

1:00 pm: children adhere to my side the second I walk in the door. Spouse is in the shower. Children have eaten approximately 3 bites of their pb&j sandwiches, and demand different lunch. Remember that you have not eaten lunch yet. Refill drinks for 4th time, provide reasonable lunch alternatives. 

1:25 pm: Remember that you scheduled a meeting for 1:30, and. you need to be present. Calculate that extraction from children is not possible in 5 minutes, and take meeting with youngest child on lap. Despite having weaned 1.5 years ago, youngest child decides that you’re still nursing, and pulls down top on video call. Spend most of call switching on and off mute. Catch every 3rd word. 

1:45 pm: apologize to team, promise to reschedule a follow up with more focus. Hang up, extract youngest child’s arm from shirt. Refill drinks for the 5th time. Bribe children to get in bed for a nap with the promise of a visit to nana and pop this afternoon. 

1:48 pm: children’s beds have been stripped, due to accidents last night, but spouse “doesn’t know where the clean sheets are”, and so hasn’t remade beds. Children petition to nap on the floor. Explain floor is not comfortable. Find clean sheets, make 2 beds, take everyone to the potty, tuck both children in. 

2:20 pm: Realize that you have 40 minutes of actual work time left today, outside of meetings. Try to prioritize, with the knowledge that whatever you get done will not be enough. Deny request for drink refill.

3:00 pm: kick off afternoon meeting block. Try frantically to make the 40 minutes that you did get to work sound like a whole lot more. Wake children up during bathroom break so that they’ll be able to sleep tonight. Refill drinks for 5th time. 

3:45 pm: Curse the fact that youngest child has inherited your distaste for waking up. Gently coax her awake in between meetings.

4:00 pm: Wrap up last task from meetings, make list of all new tasks. Realize that today you have checked off one task, and received 7 new ones. Promise self that you’ll get your work laptop back out after the kids are in bed. Ignore the sense of despair that threatens to overtake you.

4:20 pm: Bribe children into putting on clothes with promise of fruit snacks at grandparent’s house. Feel mildly guilty as you put on your second round of workout gear. Load children in double jogging stroller, jog to grandparent’s house. 

5:00 pm: collect children to head home for dinner. 

5:10 pm: threaten no more fruit snacks if children don’t put on their shoes. Grandparents go get them more fruit snacks. 

5:23 pm: explain that the sun is going down in 24 minutes, and that we have to leave now to get home before it gets dark. Remember that time is immaterial. Wish for that blissful sense of ignorance.

5:37 pm: push 100 lbs of toddler and stroller up giant, hilly driveway. Spouse greets us with “what’s for dinner?” Politely remind him that he promised to plan and make dinner while we were gone. Grit teeth at his “I didn’t know what to make” response. Quickly run through available, easy, acceptable options and make dinner.

6:15 pm: serve dinner. Eat own dinner in 2.5 minutes, then spend rest of meal refilling drinks and plates, heating up or cooling down, and cajoling children to eat anything at all.

6:45 pm: Announce that tonight we don’t need to take a bath. Youngest child immediately melts down, because she wanted to take a bath. Eldest child melts down because, even thought he didn’t want to take a bath, he wanted to taunt his sister while she was in the bath. 

6:53 pm: Loose temper for 1st time today, scream that children need to brush their teeth. Step away to calm down. Spouse gets upset because “You can’t handle the children without yelling.” Bite tongue all the way through to avoid snarky reply.

7:10 pm: read 2 story books. Read one more. Explain again, that mommy cannot read anymore, and daddy will come read for a little while. Extract self from pile of children, and tuck both in. Hugs, kisses, and fist bumps. Twice. Then once more, after you’ve left the room.

7:15 pm: contemplate second shower. Decide that you didn’t really get that sweaty on the walk, and it’s not like you’re going out. Collapse on sofa with phone and mindless tv.

7:25 pm: spouse comes into the living room after harrowing duty of reading for 10 minutes. Hand over the remote, pull out side hustle lap top and finalize tasks for the day.

8:30 pm: remember that you promised to do main job work. Bring out that laptop to run some code while you continue side hustle work.

9:15 pm: Finish side hustle work, give up on main job work for the evening. Mentally apologize to team for not making more progress, promise to self that you’ll be more focused tomorrow.

9:30 pm: tell spouse that you need to go to bed. Endure his eye roll and disappointed face. Apologize for needing to go to sleep so early, and reassure him that you’re doing the best you can.

10:15 pm: eldest child has night terror. Comfort eldest child until he’s calm. Comfort youngest child, who is upset at brother’s screams. Realize that spouse is still watching tv in the living room while you comfort children. 

11:00 pm: listen to youngest child cry for 10 minutes until spouse begrudgingly tends to her. Remind self that it is not solely my job to comfort our children. Try to go back to sleep. 

3 am: eldest child wakes up with question about mushrooms that is vitally important. Answer to best of middle-of-the-night ability, acknowledge that you appreciate his curiosity, but that there are times when questions are not appropriate. Get him back to sleep.

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up.

[solarscholarsofmagick]

Cosmic Love: An Astrologer’s Notes on Eclipses

Solar and lunar eclipses are spectacular events for those who enjoy watching the sky, but did you know that they also act as major triggers for life events? Essentially, a solar eclipse is a maxed-out new moon, while a lunar eclipse is a maxed-out full moon. For those of you who are familiar with the phases of the moon and their meanings, this means that a solar eclipse would signify a big new beginning, and a lunar eclipse would signify a majorly emotional ending.

Eclipses can trigger a huge number of happenings, good and bad. You can get an idea of what exactly will happen by looking at the house and sign placement of the eclipse and what it activates in your chart. Speaking of which, only eclipses that aspect your natal chart directly will impact you significantly. We all may feel the intensity of these astrological events but only those who have an aspected planet or point can truly feel the weight of the eclipse, in particular those with an aspected Sun, Midheaven, Ascendant, or Moon, as they are the most significant.

If you don’t already, begin tracking eclipses, specifically those that make close aspects to a natal planet or point, and see if anything happens around that time. Events may occur on the exact day of the eclipse, or they may be dragged out. For a solar eclipse, you can expect to feel the energy of the eclipse about 3 to 6 months beforehand, and it may last for well over a year afterwards, especially if the eclipse aspects one of the more important placements noted above. For a lunar eclipse, there’s a slightly shorter time frame of about 2 months before and after the eclipse for major events to take place. However, you may feel the effects of a lunar eclipse well beyond 2 months after the eclipse took place.

Eclipses run in cycles like the planets do, and they go through one family of signs at a time, based on the qualities (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable). It takes about 7-8 years before a sign family will repeat itself, and roughly 19 years for an exact degree of a sign to repeat itself. This means that in the course of a year, there can be anywhere from four to six eclipses in the same sign family, with the potential to affect you significantly if any of these signs are emphasized in your natal chart.

Now let’s get into some examples of eclipse-triggered events. I’ve collected research on a handful of different people’s charts during different eclipses and they’ve all been affected in different ways. To start, I’ll use my family as an example.

On July 27th of 2018, there was a lunar eclipse at 4 degrees Aquarius, exactly conjunct to my brother’s natal Uranus. This triggered a major health crisis for my brother, as well as an emotional crisis as well. On the night of the eclipse, he was admitted to the hospital with severely high blood pressure and was going into kidney failure. Now, keep in mind that my brother was only 20 at the time – much too young to be dealing with these kinds of health problems! Mars was conjunct to the lunar eclipse as well, and transiting Uranus was making a square to his natal Uranus, further aggravating his condition. Uranus rules the nervous system, and the nervous system controls the blood pressure. Mars rules the blood, and Uranus was in Taurus, ruled by Venus, which rules the kidneys. All the stress on these planets from the lunar eclipse triggered my brother’s high blood pressure, which runs in our family on both sides. And because Uranus was involved, activating his 4th house of home and family, he felt a deep need for personal freedom as well. At the time, he was living with our parents and having many arguments with them. He had been planning to move out for a while, but this lunar eclipse solidified his decision with all the stress it caused him at home with our parents. Four days later, he was released from the hospital and the doctors had prescribed him medication for his blood pressure that he will be taking likely the rest of his life. This is the nature of an eclipse (causing life-changing events) and with Uranus involved, it was very unexpected and abrupt.

Rewind to a solar eclipse in March of 2006 in Aries, this one activating my mom’s natal Mars in her 12th house of hidden enemies. This was right around when my parents were fighting a lot and just before they got a divorce. This solar eclipse triggered many arguments between my parents, some even a bit violent. This event is pretty self-explanatory, with Mars being the most aggressive planet in its own sign, placed in the 12th house. This would translate to an abundance of anger and excessive arguments with a man in the native’s life, which is exactly what happened. My dad became an enemy to my mom, an enemy that she didn’t expect to discover when she married him. This eclipse also loosely activated my mom’s Neptune in her 7th house of marriage, dissolving the marriage over the next few years in court. On the other side of the story, the same eclipse activated my dad’s natal Pluto in Virgo in his 8th house of shared resources. Natally, Pluto here would point to a partner who is obsessed with money, and before the divorce, this might not have been the case, but after the eclipse triggered my dad’s natal Pluto, the fighting ended up being primarily over finances and child support. This eclipse triggered a series of court battles between my parents obsessively fighting over money. My dad ended up having to pay my mom a large amount of money in child support over a span of about 5 years. This same solar eclipse in March of 2006 also triggered my natal Sun by opposition, indicating the loss of a male figure in my life. This manifested for me as a temporary loss of my father, as he moved out and I saw him less often.

In my own experience, I’ve dealt with many significant eclipses. However, one stands out more than the rest. In November of 2013, I had just started school at University, when I met another student through a ride share group. This student seemed to be just another freshman guy starting school and didn’t pose any threat to me when we met. However, the eclipse on November 3rd that year triggered my Midheaven and Mars, bringing a major change in my life. Later that month, the student invited me to a party and I went. Being a college party, we were drinking and socializing, but as the night progressed, he started acting more and more possessive of me. I had barely known him a week or two, but he was acting like I was his property. He kept tipping my cup back, forcing drinks down my throat, and as a result, I lost consciousness later on in the night. He dragged me upstairs onto a bed and proceeded to climb on top of me to assault me. What’s interesting about this eclipse though, is that it was a solar eclipse in the sign of Scorpio, which rules obsessive behavior, taboos, and sex. Activating my Mars and Midheaven in my 11th house, this translates to me as a life-changing physical event (sexual assault) occurring in a social setting or related to a new acquaintance (11th house). Saturn was also involved with this eclipse, conjunct the eclipse by 2 degrees. Saturn implies a long-term effect, and in my case, I received an ongoing diagnosis of PTSD, and my depression was magnified during that year after the incident, as Saturn can cause major depression also.

I’ve observed my friend’s charts and their life events related to eclipses as well. In June of 2012, there was a lunar eclipse in Sagittarius, directly triggering one of my friend’s natal Mercury and Uranus. On the other end, the Sun was also activating his Chiron. This was the day his brother died in a car accident when he was hit by a drunk driver. Mercury rules siblings and Uranus rules unexpected events and accidents. As you can imagine, Pluto was transiting his 8th house, activating his North Node in a trine and his South Node in a sextile as well.

Someone I knew even was imprisoned after a series of eclipses activated his natal Sun and Moon in Libra as well as his Mercury in Scorpio. It was deserved- think justice- as Libra is a fair-minded air sign and rules judges. Uranus was also involved in the eclipse, conjunct the Sun, indicating a loss of freedom. Pluto was squaring his Sun exactly at the time too.

On a more positive note, eclipses can trigger very positive changes as well! In another friend’s chart, I’ve seen a solar eclipse activate her Venus in her 1st house (Leo) in a conjunction by 2 degrees and her Midheaven exactly by trine in her 9th house (Aries). She was rewarded with a new job teaching young children in China- this is her Midheaven being activated in the 9th house of distant travels, and the eclipse is coming from her 1st house of Leo, the sign of children. She even made a significant connection to one of the students who made a noticeable first impression on her second day there. The student ended up being one of her best students!

Sometimes there can be large amounts of money involved when a solar eclipse activates specific houses. One friend of mine inherited $100,000 from his grandmother when she passed, right around the time of a lunar eclipse that activated his natal Saturn (grandparents) in his 2nd house of finance, from the 11th house of large amounts of money. The Sun was activating his 5th house of fun and pleasures, so as a result, he went on a major drug/alcohol/stripper binge (Neptune was squaring his natal Moon at the time as well) where he encountered many fake friends who used him for his money. The 11th house is friends and acquaintances as well as huge dream amounts of cash, and his 11th house falls in Scorpio, so there was definitely manipulative behavior involved.

There are many other kinds of events that eclipses can trigger as well. Depending on the planets, houses, and signs involved, there may be marriages, engagements, pregnancies, divorces, promotions, traveling, moving homes, major health issues or improvements, surgeries, educational developments, major accomplishments… The list goes on! Just think big, though, as that seems to be the theme with eclipses. During my research, I asked each of my friends what the most significant time or moment in their life was, and almost every single one of them had an eclipse as their first answer. They recalled the exact month and year, some even the date, and it came immediately to mind. When I went to check the dates of that year’s eclipses and compare them to their natal charts, sure enough, there was an eclipse activating something in their chart.

So next time you hear of or get to witness an eclipse, no matter where it is in the world (as these cosmic events affect all of us), think to yourself what in your life might change or be disrupted. What might evolve or take action? Or even better, consult your natal chart and try to figure out exactly what will happen, guided by your intuition!

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[honestlyhappyharry]

Night Changes

A/N: This is based a little more on the music video with a different ending than the song.

Holmes Chapel in the winter was lovely, anyone who had visited or lived there could tell you that. While you still didn't understand your parents' decision to move here from central London, you knew why they fell in love with it.

Unfortunately, you only got to visit a few times a year and it was usually over the holidays when you weren't busy with University. You could still remember one of the first times you were up after you'd helped them move in.

Early 2011

"Hi, dear. You must be Y/n, I was just stopping by with some casserole for your parents." You had looked up from the garden where you were planting flowers to see a woman standing near the end of the driveway with a warm smile.

You stood up and went to talk to her. "Yes, I'm Y/n. It's nice to meet you." You hold out your hand and she shakes it.

"I'm Anne, I live a few houses down. Are they in?" She had the warmest tone about her voice and a really nice smile. She was also very beautiful.

You shook your head. "I'm sorry, they just popped out to the shops. I'm sure they'll be back soon but you're welcome to come in." You could see she was thinking it over.

"Sure, there were a few things I wanted to speak to your mum about." You invited her into the house and she happily walked in. Neither of your parents had talked about her but she seemed to know where things in the house were.

"Would you like some tea?" You ask walking into the kitchen. She followed and paced the dish on the counter.

"If you don't mind." Once you'd gotten her a cup you sat with her in the living room for a while and talked. "I've been told you go to boarding school in London." You nod, that was always something you parents mentioned first to new friends. "How did you decide on that?" The usual question was how do you like it so the variety was nice.

"Well, I picked it when I was going into high school." You told her. "I had a few close friends that also went there and I guess as a young teenager I wanted to get away from my parents a little." She laughed again along with you, there was something warm about her presence. "It's such a great school and I'm very sad it's the last half of my last year."

She sipped her tea before speaking. "I've also been told you're on the leadership team there." You nod with a smile. "I suspect my own daughter had the same few reasons to go to Sheffield Hallam University."

You did recognise the name of the school. "I have a few friends in older years who got accepted and they love it." She smiled at that. "Has your daughter graduated?"

She shook her head. "No, she's on her second year."

"Y/n, we're home." Your mum said as she walked in the door, your dad following with a bag from the bakery.

They rounded the corner into the living room and both smile at Anne. You got the bags from your dad and set the table for lunch as your parents sat in the living room.

"I'm sorry, I was just bringing over a casserole. I didn't know you were having lunch." She apologised and stood up, getting ready to leave.

Both your mum shook her head. "No stay, set an extra plate, Y/n, Anne will be joining us for lunch." You nod and take an extra plate from the kitchen, putting it on the table.

That lunch you learnt a lot about Harry and Gemma Styles from Anne and your mum, who seemed very excited for you to meet Harry.

Christmas 2012

"Okay, kids pack that up dinner is on the table." Almost 2 years later and you found yourself sitting in Anne's living room next to Harry and Gemma playing Cluedo.

In those 2 years, your families had become so close you were now spending Christmas together. You had graduated from school and gone off to university in southern California and you had become good friends with both Gemma and Harry. You put your cards facedown so Harry couldn't see them and went to stand up. Both the Styles siblings following you. "You know, Y/n is such a cheat." Harry declared as you followed Anne into the dining room.

Your mouth dropped open as you turned around to look at him wide eyes. "I did not cheat once." You justify. "Harry's just a sore loser." You all took your seats, your dad and Robin at the ends of the tables with your mum and Anne sitting next to them. You sat next to Anne and Harry next to you with Gemma sitting on the other side of the table by your mum.

"Okay, no fighting you two." Anne scolded and you glared at Harry who smirks back. "It is Christmas after all."

"Fighting or flirting," Gemma said quietly as she sipped her drink causing both you and Harry to stop looking at each other and look at her.

Your mum smiled at Gemma which made you glare at her too. She had always been a Harry and Y/n shipper, even if she didn't know what it meant to ship someone. "Okay, let's eat." You said a quick grace before getting stuck into the meal. There was ham, roast vegetables and lamb. All of the typical English Christmas dinner favourites.

Like all of the other Christmas dinners, you've had this one was full of laughter and plenty of jokes. Harry was almost flirting with you, but he seemed to do that with all the girls you knew. It wasn't serious flirting or Harry being a player, it was just innocent fun between him and girls. Plus he was a cute teenage guy.

"So, got anything planned for New Year, Harry?" Your dad asked in the middle of a light-hearted conversation.

Harry gulped. "I'm actually going to New York to spend it with Taylor." Everyone else's conversations had, with bad timing, stopped at that point and all eyes were on Harry. The silence was louder than the laughter and more than uncomfortable.

You could feel your mum's eyes on you, waiting for how you would react. You weren't an idiot though, the news reports had told you long ago what was going on with them so it wasn't a surprise. You didn't even mind, Taylor made amazing music and they both needed whatever was going on for their popularity, not that you wanted to be a sceptic if it was real.

"Oh, I'm sure that'll be good." Your dad spoke before drinking some more wine awkwardly. Harry coughed also awkwardly and forced a smile and a little nod.

Eventually, the conversation got back to its normal cheerful state but you noticed Harry barely looked over at you. There was no more flirting or touching of feet. Something also felt off inside you but there was no way you were going to talk about that so you forced your mouth up into a smile for the rest of the night.

"Hey, you." Harry playfully spoke as he walked into the kitchen where you were getting a glass of water. It was nearing midnight and all of the parents had gone to bed. Gemma and you were gossiping in the lounge and Harry had gone to get some work done. "I'm sorry about dinner..." He trailed off, looking a little uncomfortable and scratching the back of his neck.

You shook your head. "Don't worry, Harry. It's not any of my business what you do." He looked sad and walked near you.

"It's a PR stunt, love." It always made your heart flip when he called you that and standing in the kitchen with his messy, long curls, plain, white t-shirt and tanned skin made him quite attractive and it was an odd mix between weird and natural to think of him like that.

There wasn't much else you could do but nod. "It doesn't matter to me whether you are seriously dating or not." Lie. It did matter because, and it was only now you were realising but, of course, you didn't want it to be true.

"I know, but we're not." He let out a sigh and sat down on a barstool at the island. There was a feeling in the pit of your stomach he was about to say something you didn't want to hear. Maybe it was the breath that he just sucked in, almost gasping for air. Pink lips falling open before he spoke. "Anyway, I wanted to ask if you wanted to go up to this ice skating rink when I get back, the 3rd."

Your head involuntarily shook but in the seconds after while you thought about what he had just asked you were thankful for it. "Harry." You breathed out his name. It was only now your vision focussed on him before it was on his face but it was all blurred as to not see his emotions. Hurt flooded his face, poorly masked by a facade of understanding. Like when you can see tears in someone's eyes with they smile. That was Harry Styles, sitting 10 feet away from you in all his beauty after just asking you out.

"Okay, I'm going to go." You hadn't realised how much analysing you were doing, forgetting to speak that filled your head. He made a quick dash to the door, a lot more awkwardly than when he came in.

You knew you had to. "Wait." As you come to terms with the news he turned back towards you. His eyes were on your face as he analysed what was going through your head even thought that wasn't fair. He had just thrown this idea out there and now he looked to be trying to figure you out.

"Don't feel obligated to for our friendship or anything. I just wanted to ask, see if you feel what it do, but you don't so now I can just leave it." He was very clear in what he was saying, even though his face still said 'sad'.

In your heart, you know you want it. Every minute of his time. Just the two of you doing couple things. You two in love. It felt like fireworks inside you, all these feelings finally lit up but in a scary way as well.

Now you had to play it cool, there was no point in trying to pretend you were someone else when he clearly felt something for you. "You already have a girlfriend." Good, your brain was still fighting the feeling. Is that good? You tried to block off some of your thoughts. Think rationally, think rationally.

Harry's face had fallen a little but he didn't look concerned, more like he was in a thinking state. Much like how you imagined your own face. He took two steps into the kitchen. Now he was closer than when he was seated. "She's not." He said with a shake of his head.

"As far as anyone outside this house is concerned she is." It came out a lot harsher than you wanted, making you feel a little bad by Harry's facial expression.

He was formulating a response. "I." He began before stopped, a hand running through his hair brought you back to the fact this was happening in front of you. "Just please come out with me." He wasn't begging but he sounded desperate.

Your heart took over for a minute. "Okay." As soon as you said it you knew it it was exactly what you wanted.

"Thank you." One last smile and he was out of the room. Leaving you there with no idea what had just happened. Harry had just asked you out. No that can't be right. Not the Harry Styles. And the even bigger question: did you like him?

~

"You have to trust me for this to work." Harry's soft voice was all you could hear. There wasn't anyone around you anymore. Just you and him on the ice. There was a slight chill in the air but for this time of year in Holmes Chapel, it wasn't too cold. Or maybe it was just the fur-lined coat, knit sweater, black jeans and ice skating shoes that were keeping you warm.

Fairy lights sparkled on the walls surrounding the rink and made Harry's green eyes even brighter and his lips perfectly pink. He was dressed in a black coat, a scarf and his own black skinny jeans.

A giggle left your lips as you let yourself relax a little into the date. It was a first date but it didn't feel like much of one but at least it felt like more than a friendship hanging out. "I do trust you." Your hands were in his soft ones as you move on the ice.

"Relax, baby." The pet name fell off his lips naturally and again it gave you that weird yet normal feeling, like it was something you've always needed but still new. "Just close your eyes and I'll pull you." You let your eyelids fall closed and relaxed your body as Harry gently guided you on the ice.

As you opened them he was still grinning at you as you slid over the ice. He gently let go of your hands and you felt like you were on top of the world as you glided on the ice. "I'm doing it, I'm doing it." You cheer as you propel yourself further and Harry watch you gliding.

He skated over towards you once you've stopped on the edge of the rink. "That actually wasn't too bad." He joked as he nudged you, making you giggle. At that moment you were right back to Harry just being Harry.

"C'mon, we're here all night so let's get skating." He took your hands and pulled you so you spun in front of him. Quicker than you could think and he was pulling you towards him. His hands ended up on your waist and yours on his neck.

Your faces were millimetres apart but Harry waited a few seconds, or maybe it was years, to stare into your eyes and then finally his lips were on yours and it felt like magic. Everything second seamless and perfect as his lips were on yours. It didn't feel odd anymore, just natural.

Pulling away a few seconds later, Harry looked all blushy and nervous. "Was that alright?" His gentle voice spoke with a nervous tone. He looked a little like he regretted it but his slight smile made you sure that he hadn't.

"Perfect, Harry." It really was. It was no secret that Harry was perfect anyway but standing in front of you with his perfect body, perfect hair and perfect lips after he had kissed you, he was all you wanted.

His nod and the grin adorning his face made you not need to ask how he found it.

Christmas 2020

"Come on, Aud," Harry called as he stood on the ice across from where Audrey was sat down in her winter coat, peach coloured jeans and jumper with ice skates on her feet. Harry was still in black jeans, all these years later as well as a long coat and knit sweater.

There were small snowflakes falling on you and everything around just looked blue. It was only a few days before Christmas and there was no better time of year.

"Ahhh!" Noah squealed, your attention turned to him as he started sliding on the ice very slowly. His feet were pointed together so he wasn't moving very fast but the expression on his little face was enough to make all of you laugh. Like his father, Noah was in his own pair of black jeans, a puffer jacket and a jumper.

"I'll help you, Noah." Anne shuffled over to Noah and took his hands in hers as she attempted to help him. All these years later and Anne still looked as young as ever, despite losing Robin. "Come on, you can do it." She encouraged as she pulled him over to his twin sister.

Audrey had finally gotten onto the ice and was reluctantly standing with a much older but still beautiful Gemma.

"Why do you insist on putting these five-year-olds on ice?" Gemma asked looking over at Harry with a frown. He skated over past Gemma and to you where he took your hands and pulled you on the ice, spinning you in a circle before standing behind you and wrapping you up in his arms. The warmth you felt in his arms would be able to warm the coldest days up.

He kissed your cheek and pulled off with a grin. "Because ice skating is why we have this." He motioned to everyone standing around.

"Not really, we'll always have this. You two are the reason we have Audrey and Noah." She fired back. They were still so totally Harry and Gemma.

"Alright you two, let's just skate." Anne scolded them both before you continued to skate.

"Sorry, we're late!" Your parents were suddenly on the ice with you all of the rest of you. And at that moment your family was complete. Maybe with the addition of the baby you'd just found out you were pregnant with.