#I did this meme once with Billy

[plistommy]

Steve’s favorite things to drive ride

[justplainsalty]

Tedbecca, Battlestar Galactica AU 💀

Just so everyone has context, this one is a rubber band back to me. It is my fault. And now I'm having to eat crow.

****

Rebecca Welton is the relatively new commander of the Battlestar Richmond, an old and creaky ship that hadn't won any battles in almost as long as she'd been alive, possibly longer. She was the ship's XO for years, under her longtime-ex-husband Rupert, until he was caught sleeping with an NCO on the flight deck and court martialed back to Caprica. Now she's faced with taking over command of a ship where every crewman was highly loyal to Commander Mannion, and she must prove herself out of his shadow. The negative press attention on her since Rupert's arrest has not helped boost her crew's opinion of her. Her new XO, Higgins, suggests accepting President Adar's request to send a PR team up to the ship to film an on-ship pyramid match between command staff and NCOs and boost morale. President Adar has been pushing a multi-pronged initiative to "sanitize" (or in Fleeters' opinions, sterilize and castrate) the Fleet forces for years; Rebecca is the unlucky commander who is forced to accept it this PR move, but it doesn't mean she has to be happy about it.

Ted Lasso is the current Secretary for Culture and Sport within the New Caprican government; he is currently 45th in line for the presidency. Ted is never without his shadow, Coach Beard, the Under-Secretary for Sport. There are questions about how Ted and Beard rose to their positions, debates whether it was a good ol' boy backroom deal, or something more scandalous. After all, Ted has no real government experience on his resumé: prior to his role on President Adar's campaign staff, and then his role as Secretary, Ted was best known for coaching university-level pyramid. Everyone who has worked with Ted understands why he is a good leader and policy-maker; to everyone outside the room where it happened, the choice could not be more opaque. Adar asks Ted to attend the pyramid match with the PR team in order to ensure its smooth execution and diffuse any conflicts that arise.

Nathan Shelley is an intern with the Department of Defense, in the department responsible for the maintenance of the planetary defense mainframe. His girlfriend, Bex, works for a defense contractor. Nathan wasn't supposed to, but he let Bex have some access to the mainframe, so she could scope out some specs and look good for her bosses when they put a bid in for the latest contract. And then she asked if he could get her access to the software the Colonial Fleet was writing to update all the newest ships, and Nate wanted to impress her, so he did. Nate didn't want to ask too many questions -- he was too grateful that someone like Bex was with someone like him in the first place.

And then the cylons attack.

Suddenly, these disparate paths converge, as Rebecca is faced with a fight for her life from the outside, a fight for control of her ship from within, and a fight for the future of humanity from the teeth-grindingly jovial sports coach-turned-president who doesn't seem to understand just how dire their situation is. And what kind of a person says, "We have to get out there and start making babies!" with a straight face, anyway?

Featuring:

Keeley Jones, Tactics Officer

Dr. Sharon Fieldstone, Chief Medical Officer

Trent Crimm, independent journalist-turned-quorum representative and general thorn in Ted’s side (although with plenty of mutual respect)

Pilots: Roy Kent, Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, Dani Rojas, Richard Montlaur, Thierry Zoreaux, Jan Maas, Moe Bumbercatch

Bex, cylon number 6

Leave an AU and a pairing in my ask and I’ll give you the plot of the fic I won’t write for it.

[wonderjanga]

Drugs

Marvel doesn’t like drugs. They’re like a plague. If you try even one you’ll get hooked and it’ll slowly destroy your life. That’s what an old homeless guy told Billy one time anyways. What Billy actually doesn’t like is how many of the homeless population have their hands on drugs. He’s literally grown up huddling around fires with these people. He’s doesn’t like to see them act like addicts. So, that’s why when he first became Captain Marvel, one of the first things he did was work his ass off to get drugs off the streets. Like actually. One of his first major things besides fighting his villains, was a big drug bust.

Drug Cook: *cooking*

Marvel: *leans against the table next to him*

Drug Cook: *doesn’t notice him*

Marvel: “Hey.” *picks up a chunk of meth and takes a nice big crunch out of it*

Drug Cook: *pauses at the crunch and slowly looks over to him*

Marvel: *knocks him out* “Geez, how do you just not notice that everyone around you is knocked out? Is making crystal that interesting?”

So you might be wondering, why did Billy just eat one of those? Truthfully, he himself doesn’t know either. Fear factor? Maybe. Honestly, he just did it because he could. It’s not like Marvel can be affected by drugs anyways. No like seriously, some guy once threw a kilo of crack at his face and it exploded. He was fine, but he did end up having to walk out of there looking like a crackwhore times ten.

Reporter: *runs over to him, holding mic to his face* “Captain Marvel- oh my god.”

Marvel: *entire upper body is covered in crack cocaine* “Miss, I gonna have to ask you to take a whole step back because every single individual little white speck of powder on me is crack so if you inhale this, you will be inhaling cocaine.”

Reporter: *shares a speechless look with the camera man and takes a couple steps back*

Assistant: *runs over using his shirt of cover his nose and mouth to give Marvel a mic so they can still conduct the interview*

Crack-Covered Marvel became a meme. Why? Because he looked like he literally wanted to be anywhere but there. He was also covered in cocaine so that too. Also, a lot of people were wondering how he went through the entire interview without tweaking in the slightest. This made the JL reconsider asking him to be a member.

Flash: “You don’t just take what looks like a kilo of cocaine to the face and shrug it off. What if he’s like that because he built up a tolerance??

Batman: “It’s been well established he isn’t a human being. Perhaps his species isn’t affected by the drug the game way humans are.”

Supes: “Do you think he might be Kryptonian?” *sounds excited*

[moonlightcycle571]

Lantern Corps and a 10 year old Child

In a last post, I said the Lantern Corps would love Captain Marvel because he’s omni-lingual (and there’s so many different species so it makes sense that they would feel comfertable around a guy who can speak their mother tongue, no matter how obscure it is).

And then it came to me in a glorious vision, the Cores would LOVE or absolute HATE Billy Batson, be it as a kid it as Captain Marvel.

First on the Love Captain spectrum:

Red Lantern: that’s the corps that’s the most insistent. Man’s fights littéral Wrath and demons alike on a weekly basis. Man’s go to weekly poker night with Satan and other Wardens of Hell. Why? Because he has his own prison dimension in th Rock of Eternity, who also holds the strongest demons.

Yellow Lanterns: as champion of magic, he holds a lot of weight. Especially for magic users. One flick of a wrist and boom, your magic is gone. The whole concept of ‘The Champion’ is enough for most to fear him. That and one does not play poker with The Devil from The Bible and other figures from various religions, and just have a normal presence. He’s terrifying when he wants to be. In his Cap form, he needs to actively tamp down to appear more family friendly, and not the eldricht horror he knows he could easily look like.

Green Lanterns: Homeless Child Superhero dealing with horrors must adults can’t handle. That takes willpower. Even before Captain, I’m pretty sure off willpower alone he could qualify. But what’s the real ringer is his imagination. The Rock of Eternity has access to magical dimensions that no amount of crack could dream up. Man’s had to learn how to use Looney Toones Logic irl and it works. Man’s got a while Disney Dimension with Ballerina Hippos with their Croc partners. Mans has debates about files with littéral walking talking dinosaurs. Billy is hella creative, and who knows what would be made with a ring.

Blue Lanterns: do I … do I need to explain? There are the lantern corps of Hope, I think the rest is pretty self explanatory. I will say though, he was close to accepting when he found out they got a Corgi. Even closer when Dex Starr, the red lanterns cat got a

Orange Lantern: bro fights the physical manifestations of the Seven Deadly Sins , including Greed on a regular basis. By right of conquest, he really should be wearing the ring rn. They be trying to put a ring on it for ages.

Black Lanterns: he once revived Freddy and or Mary by reconnecting them to the rock, and since then is considered a ‘nécromancer’. Also (similar to the Avatar State) he has memories of past champions, including death, so one can argue he’s in a life and death loop.

White lanterns: same reasons as the Black Lanterns. They’ve been trying to get Billy to also out-do said Black Lanterns (who in turn try to recruit him some more). It’s just one vicious snowball effect now.

Now for the Hate Captain spectrum:

Star Sapphire Corps: The thing about Billy is that he’s AroAce. Very Aro and Very Ace. So those who draw power from love and try to flirt are met with the disgusted face of someone who’s famously nice. It was a devastating blow to the whole corps. At some point Hal decided to hide behind Cap to escape another Star Sapphire who fell inlove with him, and they just, lost their power. No longer had the ability to fly and everything. He’s Ace-ness is crippling. And it did bring memes. The Ace community was winning.

Indigo Tribe: he’s too autistic for them. And while being the warden of multiple dangerous beings fits their MO and all, they ain’t touching the bullshit magical logic with a ten foot pole. That, and the first time a ring was sent to him to recruit him to keep the evil ones in line, he roasted their whole system, their ugly ass uniforms (that particular shade of indigo clashed with his Hero Outfit way to much) and ended with a comparison to them with a guy called ‘King Kid’ and the fucking ‘Easter Bunny King’ that somehow did a much better job at Machiavellic while also being uhly. They never sent a second one. The red lanterns sent more.

Ultraviolet lanterns: again, man’s fights the Seven Sins on the regular, is their warden along with other sick evils, lies to the Justice League on the regular and plays poker with Demons (and wins) despite being one of the most honest people there is. That and he’s so dad shaped, it counters their power of daddy issues.

Bonuse:

It’s not uncommon for various JL members to receive lantern rings. They just don’t want to. So the standard procedure is to find your local lantern, and give them rings. At some point all the Corps made a lantern offers chart (and maybe the JL got a bit competitive).

Problem, that screen was using old alien tech that didn’t have colour. So they knew Cap had the most lantern offers, but they didn’t know which colours. Until it got fixed.

J’le looking at the rainbow that’s Captain Marvels Ring List: …

Batman: Captain, why is there so many red ones?

Billy, sweating: …

Hal, not comfy with the amount of yellow: I… I need to make a few phone calls.

John, the one who’s been receiving all of his rings: Uh, don’t remind me. I’ve been getting cramps with the amount of times I had to input the different colours.

Dinah: I don’t think even I’m qualified for the amount of therapy everyone is going to need.

WonderWoman: How to you have Negative Pink Rings??? You can’t get a negative number in a list

Billy, inputing the Zeta Tube: haha, it’s so weird

John: … do I need to add AroAce as a weakness for the Sapphires???

Bonus points if the results are open to the galactic public, and just wonder who tf are and ‘Billy Batson’ and Captain Marvel and why they are dominating the top ranks. What is in the Terra city Fawcette.

Extra Bonus Point if the JL go: Who tf is Billy Batson, and why is he ranked above Captain Marvel.

I’ve been waiting to do this one for a while. But never got the motivation. Let me know if I missed any, and feel free to write fanfic (please tag me if you do, I wanna reeeeead).

Final note, I want to give a certain someone a comment of appreciation.

@wonderjanga you are my favourite person on this app. You are the reason I decided to get out of my procrastination slump. Thank you for you content, it’s always so creative and I deeply enjoy it.

For those who don’t know them, I recommend checking out their content. It’s genuinely inspiration for me to start writing again. I don’t think I’ll be writing on ao3 soon, but maybe one day.

[sadistic-kiss]

Double Date~ Toji x Reader x Sukuna

Anime: Jujutsu Kaisen

Characters: Toji Fushiguro and Ryoumen Sukuna (X Fem Reader)

Universe: AU

Rating: Explicit (all da goods)

Genre: Smutty

Kinks: BDSM, Spanking, Breeding and Dacryphilla 

Ingredients/Commission given by: Yorus @yorusranddie

Cover work also done by @yorusranddie ✨❤️✨

Summary: You were supposed to set up a double date for Toji Fushiguro and Sukuna Ryoumen with your mom and aunt so how did YOU end up in bed with them?

✨✨✨✨✨

You hummed to the tune playing from the car speakers, Billie Eilish Lunch singing from your lips. Your head was propped up on your hand as you sank into the back seats of the red and black sports car. Your thumb moves up and down on your phone scrolling through pictures of your friends and silly memes.

“I can eat that girl for lunch… dances on my tongue...” The words were a second thought while you double-tapped your screen liking a video. 

Within the next moment, the radio was turned down.

“So you like eating pussy huh?” 

Your eyes rolled up to the rearview mirror where Sukuna’s red ones looked at you. 

You put a lot of sass in your words as you say, “That’s not a very family-friendly question unc.”

You could see how his eyes narrowed at you, hating when you called him ‘unc’ or ‘uncle’. He was your best friend's uncle but not yours. You just like to tease him. Hear the way he gripped the steering wheel. Get under his skin. It was a fun pastime. 

“What did I say about calling me that?”

“Well if you date my aunt doesn’t that make you my uncle anyway?”

“That-“

“Watch the road Sukuna.” Yuuji elbowed his uncle from the passenger seat. The car swiveled a bit as Sukuna snatched the wheel back. 

“I got this kid.” The older man scoffed, his ego wounded twice within the same minute. 

You let out a teasing giggle, returning to your phone. That’s when a notification pops up on your screen.

Mom: Sorry sweetie but-

You couldn't see the rest of the message before it disappeared, but your stomach sunk from what you had already seen from the preview. You quickly got to your messages to see the full text from your mom.

Mom: Sorry sweetie but your aunt and I had decided to cancel. We just don't think we are ready for another commitment. Please apologize to Mr. Fushiguro and Ryoumen.

“Fuck-“

“What?”

“N-nothing…” you quickly texted back- what does she mean they aren't coming! This is so last minute! 

Me: Mom you have been divorced for like three years! And Auntie said she needed someone to get over her last relationship.

Mom: I think we are just going to have a little girl's night. You know love ourselves! You’re welcome to come over too if you want. 

You puffed your cheeks in annoyance. What the hell were you going to say to freaking Sukuna and Toji?! Just as you looked up the car rolled to a stop, parking in front of Mr. Fushiguro’s house.

Yuuji hopped out to get into the back seat and as he slid in next to you, you pointed at your phone, showing him the message. He mouthed the words as he read, head leaned to the side a bit while he slowly buckled his seat belt in. 

“Yikes.” He hissed under his breath. 

“Tell me about it…” 

“What are we talking about back there?” Sukuna questioned with a raised brow.

“Uh…” you opened your mouth but your words were interrupted as the front and back doors opened.

“Heyo .” Yuuji greeted Megumi as he slid into the seat.

“Sup.” Megumi salutes and wave.

Toji plopped in the front, you can see Sukuna sizing him up. Once Toji got situated he looked toward the tatted man. 

“Toji.” He introduced himself while reaching over to shake his hand. 

“Sukuna.” The two clapped hands with a firm shake. 

You could see their veins bulge as if they were trying to break each other's hands. Their eye contact was firm and well. Like a predator meeting another predator- taunting each other. Trying to show who is the king of the jungle. 

Yuuji coughed as he leaned forward with his phone, pointing to the address of the club. “Nobara said this place was pretty good for the price.”

You blanked at Yuuji, did he not read what your mom sent? The party was over! Well… maybe it didn’t have to be. You can pretend you've never seen it…

The interruption from Yuuji broke up the big dick contest.

Sukuna typed in the address while Toji greeted you, “Hey, you look nice.” He complimented. 

You gave him an appreciative smile, “Thank you, sir. You look nice as well.”

You could see the little glare sent your way from Sukuna in the rearview mirror but it seemed only you noticed. You knew he was pissed that you just called Toji sir while you called him unc. L-o- fucking-l. You laugh on the inside keeping your eyes on Toji.

“I hope your mother thinks so too, did you send her the address?”

“I- yup. I sure did.”

After Sukuna got the GPS started he took off on the road. Yuuji and Megumi were the main ones talking… well… it was more Yuuji talking and Megumi responding with his usual bored tone. 

The entire ride there you were planning how you were going to tell the two men in front. Staged it in your head. Played out the scene. You were going to put on your best acting performance. 

Sukuna pulled up to the colorful lighted club with a giant sign that read ‘Special Grade’ and as you were getting out you let out a little gasp while looking at your phone. Everyone looked toward you expectantly. 

“Ah~ sorry guys my mom and aunt are staying in tonight.” You smacked your lips giving everyone an apologetic look.

“Seriously?” Sukuna deadpanned.

“Yeah… that sucks… well we are already here might as well have fun!” You didn’t get dressed up for nothing. Hopping out of the car you closed the door and walked toward the building. Yuuji and Megumi by your side.

“They haven’t gotten out of the car yet.” Megumi pointed out.

“Eh, they are just in shock, nothing a few drinks can solve- NOBARA!” You squealed running up to your best friend as the two of you hopped up and down in excitement. 

“Oi I’m your boyfriend and you give her more excitement than me!” Yuuji pouted as Nobara rolled her eyes.

“Oh hush~ let’s go have some fun… uh where’s your family I thought they were coming?”

“My family decided to ditch us.”

“My dad’s in the car with Sukuna, probably contemplating life.”

“Pfft, in the wise words of Shoko everything can be solved with alcohol.”

“That’s what I said!”

“That is a terrible motto to go by.”

You laughed as the four of you walked toward the entrance. With a glance back you saw Toji and Sukuna finally getting out of the car. You felt a little bad for them but with their looks, they could pick up any girl. What was one little rejection going to do to them?

~

Okay, they were pissing you off. And by they you meant Toji and Sukuna. The two men had gotten a booth together, taking shots in their little corner. 

You’ve seen plenty of girls try to talk to them but they turned everyone away! 

Were they going to sit there all night knocking shot after shot like some sad teenage boys?!

You were dancing on the light-up floor, red sequin dress swishing side to side, catching the colorful rays of light flashing. Alcohol filled your blood while you groove to the music, but you kept glaring at Sukuna and Toji. Body on autopilot while your mind was reeling. 

“You okay?” Nobara questioned as she shimmied and swayed around with Yuuji. 

“Yeah!” You nodded your head and gave her a thumb up just in case she didn’t hear you over the music. "I'm going to go check on our sad boys!" Breaking away from the group you beelined to the table in the corner.

They were talking but once they saw you coming the conversation stopped, the two of them gave you their attention as you planted yourself before their table.

"Are you guys kidding?" You questioned with your gaze bouncing between the two.

"What?" Sukuna screamed over the loud music.

You leaned upon the table with your hands on top, getting closer to them. So close that you could smell the alcohol upon their lips mingle in the air.

"I said...are you guys kidding!?"

Toji raised a brow, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"You two! You guys are just sitting here drinking alone, you don't want to like dance or have fun?" You question hooking your thumb behind you.

Sukuna snorted, "I don't want to dance with someone unworthy of my time."

"Besides..." Toji began with a little grin, "Whoever said we aren't having fun?"

You release a sharp laugh, "Ha! What you two BFF's now?"

"Well..." Toji drawled with a sneaky tone, "...It would appear we got a lot more in common than we thought."

It may have been the alcohol but as the two looked at you with a little snicker you had figured the joke was about them both being rejected. 

Little did you know...

"Listen..." You began with a little sigh. "I'm sorry my aunt and mom ditched you guys, I don't know what is going on with them but I hope you guys can still have fun. Let me get you a shot at least."

"On your paycheck?" Sukuna teased.

"So then you know how serious I am!"

"Nah...I'll get it but you'll take one with us." He got up gesturing for you to sit down.

"Deal." You grinned as you slid into the spot Sukuna was in, the seat warm. 

As you waited for Sukuna to come back with your drinks you looked toward Toji. You were going to say something but something about him caught you off guard. He was ruggedly handsome. The club lights flashed across his face and danced in his green eyes. His scar only adds to his appearance… you wanted to trace your finger over it. Never had you viewed him in such a way. He was your friend's dad after all and you tried to set him up with your mom. Not that they really knew much about each other but it was just kind of like a… ‘why not?’. See if they kick it off kind of thing. 

Megumi was tired of the man being lazy and broke, living off of his divorce money and his wife’s life insurance. You all thought…what if a woman could whip him into shape? 

Toji caught you staring at him but you were too slow to act as if you weren’t. 

“You stare anymore and ya gonna make me blush sweetheart.” He flashed you a grin that shouldn’t have caused your stomach to stir. 

“My bad, I was just looking at your scar.” You lie with ease. “How’d you get it?”

“Ah, this?” He rubbed the back of his fingers upon it. “Got into it with my old man when I was young. We never really saw eye to eye.“

Megumi had told you that they were not close to the Zenin family. Apparently, his grandpa was a narcissistic control freak. “That’s a horrible thing to do to a kid…I’m glad you don’t associate with them anymore and that you didn’t follow in the abuse train.”

Toji seemed pleased with your response, “Yeah…dude was a coward. I’m not a great dad but I don’t think I’m too bad.”

“Well, you lost your wife, so being a single parent for your child and your bitchy ex-wife is… ya know kinda crazy. And come on…” you grin while elbowing him, “… I wouldn’t have set up this date with my mom if I didn’t think you were a good man. You just need some… help.”

“Help huh?”

“Like~” you pop your lips, “A woman’s touch or something. Tsumiki is grown and Megumi is off to college so it’s like you are stuck. Don’t take it the wrong way or anything but you and my mom got this whole I will never love again vibe going on. I think that’s horse shit-oop! Haha, my bad. I guess I usually don’t talk so freely with you.”

“Quite the sailor aren’t you?”

You let out a little laugh as the two of you enjoyed the moment. That’s when Sukuna came back with a bottle and three shot glasses. He squeezed into the booth with you in the middle, setting down the cups.

“Fucking line took forever.” Sukuna cursed filling up the shot glasses.

“See? I get it from my unc.” You joked making Toji chuckle.

Sukuna looked at both of you in confusion, “Get what from me?”

“Cursing.” You smiled grabbing your shot. 

“The fuck you do.” The three of you clinked glasses and tapped the table before knocking back the burning liquid. Sukuna let out a frat boy kind of grunt while slamming the glass down so hard you are surprised it didn’t break. “That mouth of yours was always filthy.” He looked toward you with such an expression it gave you whiplash. “Someone atta spank your ass.”

This whole thing was always a game of chicken. Teasing and flirting with each other has just been your way since what feels like the beginning. It was harmless fun. He always talked about spanking you anytime he deemed you being naughty. So you didn’t think twice as you set your gaze, looking up at Sukuna from under your thick fake lashes. 

“What? Are you going to spank me?” 

Something flashed within his eyes before he settled you with a devilish grin, he leaned closer to you but you didn’t back down. You were never one to back down. Always ready for a challenge especially when it came to Sukuna. 

He licked his lips, red gaze bouncing between your eyes and somewhere lower. He then whispered, “You would like that…wouldn’t you?”

Woah- 

Something about this felt like it was outside of the playing field. It caught you off guard. What was even more terrifying was the tiny voice in your head that said ‘yes’. Perhaps tomorrow you will blame your stubbornness on the alcohol.

You cocked your head, getting a breath away from him, “You- would like that.”

He didn’t back down, his grin only widening, “We- would like that.”

You blanked falling backward as you disengaged from your game. You look toward Toji who was watching with intense interest. His gaze locked on to you. You had forgotten he was here. Feeling embarrassed that he witnessed such a thing. Yet the way he was staring at you had your body heating up. 

Like he enjoyed watching 

Suddenly this moment felt strange. You felt naked. Exposed. Like you were in danger… but a delicious kind of danger. 

Sukuna had said ‘we’.

“What’s…going on here?” You questioned with a suspicious glare.

Toji cleared his throat as he leaned in closer to you, “Remember…when I said we both had something in common?”

You nodded slowly.

“It’s you.”

“Me?” You asked in shock.

“Yes, you.”

“No- no way! You two were supposed to be dating my mom and aunt may I remind you!”

Sukuna rolled his eyes, “I only said yes so you’d stop nagging me.”

Toji shrugged seemingly agreeing with the statement. “In other words, it was a good thing they canceled. Made us realize after talking we should tell you the truth.”

Your brain was unable to keep up. You felt frozen as they told you their secret. You could not believe this was happening. 

You let out a gasp as you felt someone caressing your thigh gently. Looking down you watched as Sukuna smoothed his hand up and down, creating a path of warmth that set fire to other places. Toji’s hand began to play with your hair. You were mesmerized by their touch and voices. 

“What do you say…” Toji’s words tickled one ear as Sukuna did the other. “…can you handle both of us brat?”

“…”

~

You moaned in Toji’s lap, tongues slipping against each other in a lewd slop. Your dress rode up over your ass, his hands wrapped around you, pulling you flush against him. 

You felt another hand glide over your cheek, fingers slipping to your cunt. Sukuna growled from the driver's seat, trying to get the three of you home as quickly as possible. “You ain’t wearing underwear?”

Toji chuckled breaking apart from your lips, “I told you she wasn’t.”

“How did you know?” You giggle grinding yourself on top of his clothed length. 

“Because you are a naughty little vixen.” Toji slapped your ass harshly making you squeak.

“Wearing this skimpy ass outfit with no underwear.” Sukuna also gave you a harsh slap making you gasp. “Slut is just begging for it.”

Your phone had dinged, having fallen onto the floor between Toji’s feet. The screen was a text from Nobara saying she hoped you feel better. 

You had made an excuse that you felt sick and Sukuna was going to take you home. Toji had said he was tired and too old to hang with the youngins and the three of you left. Megumi and Yuuji decide to catch a ride with Nobara. 

You guys kept it cool until you were in the elevator. As soon as the doors closed that’s when the lustful dance began. The two of them take turns kissing you and pressing you up against the wall. And it didn’t end from there. You could barely get into the car, Toji pulling you into the front seat with him while telling Sukuna to drive safely. 

You couldn’t get enough.

Your thirst unable to be quenched. 

Sukuna pulled into his garage as you and Toji continued making out. You were too distracted from your session to see that you were finally at your destination. The passenger door was ripped open as Sukuna grabbed a fistful of your hair.

“Hey!” You gasped as he pulled you out of the car, “I hope you are paying for me to get my hair done!”

“Yeah yeah I ruin it I’ll fix it.” Sukuna gave you a lustful kiss, moaning against your lips. 

“I guess the dress is on me huh?” Toji chuckled getting out of the car. 

You had already heard a tear from your dress, one of your earrings was missing and your heels had a little scruff to it. You made sure to let the men know that they would be replacing anything from their rough handling of you. 

Not that you minded. 

The door was slammed shut behind you as you were practically carried inside. You were in the foyer kissing Sukuna while Toji slipped your heels off. The three of you nearly tripped over each other to get into the bedroom. 

Sukuna unzipped your dress with dexterous fingers, pushing the fabric down. He slapped your tit making it bounce, glaring at you while he nipped your lip, “No bra either. Who let you out like this?”

“I’m a grown woman unc.” You teased. You giggled at the way he glared at you. 

You were spun around swiftly and then pushed against Toji as he snapped at him. 

“Hold her.”

You heard the rustling of a belt as Toji circled his arms around your waist. 

“What are you…” you looked back just as Sukuna yanked your wrist behind you, tying your wrist with the leather belt. You hissed at the slight discomfort. 

“Give me your belt.”

Toji shifted around as he took his belt off with one hand handing it to Sukuna. You looked at the exchange with wide eyes. Watching Sukuna fold the belt.

“Wait!”

*SMACK*

“Ai!” You jerked against Toji as the leather snapped against your ass like a swift viper. 

Sukuna grabbed a handful of your ass, shaking it as he hissed into your ear. “I don’t want to hear you ever call me unc again!” 

*SMACK*!

“Ow! Sukuna!” You were now trying to get away, the harsh slap of the belt had your cheeks ringing in pain. 

“Yeah, that’s more like it! You either call me Sukuna or sir, do you understand?” He hit your ass again as you screamed out.

“Yes! Yes!” You cried feeling your eyes water. You didn’t think he was that upset when you called him unc! It was just a prank damn!

“What was that?!” Sukuna growled. 

*SMACK*

“YESSSIR!” You cried, that last hit rocking the tears from your eyes. They trailed down your cheeks.

“Aw, she’s crying…” Toji grabbed your chin as he lifted your face. “Such a sweet face.” 

You thought he felt bad for you but it seemed to be the opposite. He liked to see your tears. 

“Let me see.” Sukuna pulled your head back, his phone in your face. 

Your eyes widened in surprise as the flash went off. 

“That’s fucking hot…” Sukuna groaned pulling the phone away as he licked at your tears. You didn’t have time to say anything about the picture as Toji licked at your other cheek, hand trailing down as he cupped your sore ass. 

You gasp, “Y-you guys are sick.” You glare at them as they only chuckle. 

“Another thing we have in common princess.” Toji grinned pushing you onto the bed. 

You gasped flopping on the bed, your leg was then grabbed as Toji stuck two fingers inside you. 

“Ah~!” You let out a gasp, pussy clinging around his fingers as if it had been dying for this. 

“Yet you are so wet…Who’s more sick, it seems you are getting off on this little masochist?”

Sukuna fisted himself out of his pants, grabbing your chin tightly, “You will be crying and wetting our cocks like the little slut you are.”

Toji used his other hand to pull his pants just underneath his length, a fiery gleam in his eyes as he smirked, “And we know you will enjoy it.”

You were shocked to hear Toji agree with such things- Sukuna yes this matched his character but never would you have known Toji to be a closeted sadist. 

Did you fuck up?

Who were you kidding? 

You let out a moan as the two men shoved their cocks inside you. Toji in your pussy while Sukuna took your mouth. 

Gentle? Never heard of her.

You were taken with wild abandonment. And true to their words you shed more tears and gushed upon their lengths. All while they laughed and taunted you with sinister words. Sukuna even dragged his fingers over your tears and wiped them on his cock before entering your cumdumped pussy. They didn’t even ask if they could cum in you- they just did. 

How was it possible that they could keep going? 

At one point you finally began to beg for them to release your wrists. But they wouldn’t. Like they didn’t want you to try to run away.

They used your body for their pleasure, saying dirty things like how they always wanted to do this to you. Bringing up times when you wore clothes that left nothing to the imagination. Their favorite was the red shorts that cupped your cheeks. They’d talk about masturbating to the thought of you and the pictures they snuck. 

You bet this is what they were talking about while sitting in the corner sharing drinks. Sharing their explicit thoughts and pictures of you. 

They are actually crazy. 

Yet you were still cumming and leaking like a broken faucet. You actually had no shame. No thought. Especially as you bounced up and down Sukuna’s length while sucking on Toji’s cock with greed. 

Your eye just so happens to catch the clock on the dresser as you gasp pulling back, “oh crap-“

Sukuna slapped your ass as he leaned back with his hands behind his head, “Keep bouncing.” 

“M-my birth control- I need to go take it!” You usually take it before bed but you must not have heard your alarm since your phone was in the car. 

That seemed to pause them.

“You what?” Toji questioned.

“I was supposed to take it at eight, I forgot. I was too drunk…maybe I can get a plan b tomorrow… or today seeing as it’s fucking 2 am.”

Sukuna snorted, grabbing your hips tightly, “Not a chance.” He then picked you up and dropped you making you scream. “I’m gonna fuck a baby in you now.”

“Fuck off we didn’t discuss this.” Toji growled while getting behind you. He pushed you down so you could press into Sukuna’s chest and then you felt something poke at your pussy right alongside Sukuna’s cock. 

You gasp, “No! I can’t-“

Toji and Sukuna lifted you up as they both tried to cram their cocks inside your cunt. You released a scream as one cock left and another entered, back and forth back and forth. You were stretched unbelievably- the intensity had you sweating and drooling. You were losing your mind. Their vigor turned into something more insatiable. You were lucky they didn’t try to jam both cocks inside you at the same time- you don’t think you’d be able to stretch that much. This already was too much. 

You couldn’t stop moaning and crying, begging for something. Perhaps mercy. But they didn’t know the differences, and neither did you. 

“Please-! Please-! Ah- please!”

“You want-mm- my cum baby?”

“No, -Ngh- she wants mine. Say it- ah- say you want it.”

You were drowning in it all so you did as you were told screaming, “Yes! Yes, I want it-i-I want your cum!” But you never clarify who’s. That was their own personal problem. 

“Fuck-yes baby keep begging for it-“

“I’m going to give it to you- you better take it- “

The two groaned as they came inside you again for the -who knows how many times tonight- but this time it seemed like they gave you the fattest load. The thought of you carrying their child was something that truly kicked off their lust. Your orgasm had you seeing stars and soon you felt as though you blacked out. 

You felt them finally untie your hands but your arms just hung with exhaustion. You were laid in the middle of the bed, letting out a light groan. Body exhausted. You had finally hit your limit. 

“Crazy…” you mumbled. “Crazy…” 

“You bring it out of us.”

Sukuna and Toji shared a laugh as they leaned back in bed cuddling with you, fine with lying in all of the mess and sweat. Filthy men they were. But you doubt that you were far from them. Because you more than enjoyed yourself tonight. And now you will expect to be spoiled like this from now on. 

Although you wonder if they were joking about the whole pregnancy thing…were they really trying to get you pregnant?

That was a problem for sober you. 

✨✨✨✨✨

[isagrimorie]

I know the popular meme about Agatha surviving great disasters is that she caused them?

But what if Agatha is so long-lived, she just happens to be there and has bad luck?

Titanic was supposed to be the biggest unsinkable ship? Of course, is Agatha going to book a suite for it? Oh, it hits an iceberg and now Agatha has to hang on to a floating door. Some guy was hanging on the door, and she kicked him off and shared the door with another lovely redhead until they were rescued.

The redhead was upset with Agatha for some reason.

Years later, Agatha took a connecting flight to Newhurst on an airship. She's been on an airship before, what could go wrong?

Then, it explodes in a ball of fire, and Agatha has to cast a fast protection spell before she falls out of the airship.

Billy: "So you caused the Titanic to sink?"

Agatha: "No. I was just a passenger, I did not actually plan to hang around and turn into an ice cube waiting for rescue, Teen."

Billy: "How about the Hindenburg?"

Agatha: "I just wanted to go to Newhurst! Believe it or not, sometimes I travel and once in a blue moon, I end up in a catastrophic accident! It happens!"

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[amostimprobabledream]

You know, I know people like to meme on Homelander like "bro is beefing with a baby haha", but with S4 Ep4 revealing more context to his backstory, it's really not surprising and adds an extra tragic layer. (Note this isn't excusing him, it's just a little analysis.)

We already know early on that Homelander's childhood is a public fabrication and that he was raised as a lab rat, with Vogelbaum being his primary father figure. Despite raising John from birth, though, Vogelbaum has never seen him as a son or even a child - he's a product, an experiment that needs to be managed. Every day, Vogelbaum would go to work, do experiments on Homelander with his team of scientists, Stan Edgar, Barbara, and then go home and play happy families. Billy Butcher manages to get Vogelbaum to give him intel on Homelander specifically by threatening to hurt Vogelbaum's daughter if he doesn't comply. Once again, Vogelbaum puts his biological child over the one he spent most of his time with, and doesn't bother warning him or Madelyn of what's coming.

We also know now that the scientists who tortured him also had families - Frank is forced to go in the oven because Homelander overtly threatens to burn them too if he doesn't. We don't know about Marty or Barbara but it's easy to assume they do too. But none of them thought anything of sticking a little boy in an oven or testing nuclear weapons on him.

Then you have Madelyn. And we don't know exactly how long they've known each other, but it seems like it must be a long time for Madelyn to be in the position she is in Vought and by how well she knows Homelander. She's the closest thing to a mother figure he's ever had, and his unofficial handler/mentor. Whatever Madelyn thinks of him, Homelander is close to her.

And then Madelyn gets pregnant.

Something that always stuck out to me in Season One was when Homelander comments that Madelyn's baby is just a prop to make her feel like a good person. This always seemed like a really astute and oddly specific, personal observation, because mostly Homelander seemed pretty selective with Madelyn's unsavoury qualities until she lies about something too major for him to ignore anymore. But it does seem, to me, that he was right - whether Madelyn felt genuine love for Teddy or not, it does seem like these scientists and other people who work at Vought use their loved ones to convince themselves that they aren't really bad people - look, they have a good relationship with their kids! They're happily married! Yes, they experimented on a child, but that was just a job. It's what he was made for. But that's not who they really are, right? In particular, Madelyn's determination to make Teddy breastfeed from her seemed less because it was what's best for him, health-wise, and more because she saw it as something she was failing at as a mother so early on, and because she wasn't happy about her motherhood plans being derailed by her baby's refusal to comply with them. I feel like down the line, Madelyn would have probably ended up being emotionally abusive or at least extremely manipulative as a mother - loving your child and being a controlling parent aren't mutually exclusive, after all.

Vogelbaum's affection for his daughter doesn't change what an awful person he is. Stan Edgar adopting and grooming Victoria into being, well, Victoria, doesn't mean he isn't a sociopath - he's fond of Victoria because she's a successful project he raised. He still fucked her up and turned her into a serial killer and Victoria has now demonstrated she's willing to violate Zoe's bodily autonomy if she thinks it's necessary (or rather, convinces herself it is.) Frank was a family man 'just doing his job', but that didn't save him from Homelander's wrath. Did their families know about the atrocities they were committing? If they didn't, would they be able to look at them the same way?

So no wonder Homelander hates Madelyn's baby - he finally had a parental figure in his life who didn't have a family taking away what he saw as the love and attention he deserved like Vogelbaum did, and then she goes and has a baby anyway, and once again, someone else is receiving all the affection and care that Homelander has never, ever been given by anyone.

tl;dr: Homelander hating Madelyn's baby makes perfect sense and makes me sad. EDIT: If I've made a some mistakes in this post it's because I haven't watched S1 & 2 in a while so my recollection is a bit fuzzy, excuse me for that lol.

[not-poignant]

Assumption: You have never ridden a horse.

Oooo, this is a fun one, salkfjas

I have! I've ridden more than one horse, more than once.

(Actual storytime) (This is from the Assumptions meme!)

In late highschool and in the few years after I had a close friend who owned a horse (Billy) and agisted him, and was responsible for him. She basically was allowed to get him when she got her driver's license.

I was the kind of friend (and still kind of am, energy willing) that you could drag around to all your chores and I'd just be there. So I'd be there when she went shopping. I would be there when she went to get horse food. I would be there when she did homework. I would be there when she went to visit her horse and brush him down and feed him etc.

I helped with basic chores and watched from the sidelines and mostly hung out with her dog, Huskee, who was not a husky, but a borderline collie x corgi who barked nonstop at that horse, who she alas, could not herd.

Through this friend I actually learned about Natural Horsemanship, to the point where I actually went to a couple of Pat Parelli seminars (run by Pat) in like 2000/2001. It was the thing that really sparked my interest in animal training, especially humane, fear free animal training (and clicker training specifically, since Pat was teaching marker training at the time, and said friend started using it on their dog, Huskee).

I never rode, for a long time, because I was happy on the sidelines, and also I went there so my friend could ride her horse, not so I could like, steal her horse out from under her lol. I don't think her horse liked me very much anyway (later I'd find out that was pretty much true, it was a zero respect relationship, maybe he knew I was a doormat lmao).

Anyway, said friend had another friend who was extremely horse intense, and she got her own horse (Coda) , that she then never really took the time to ride. Coda was kind of nuts. Billy was the kind of horse who walked so slow you felt like you were going backwards, Coda had one speed: gallop. Coda and Billy got on great.

But Coda was pretty neglected, and so I often spent time with him while my friend did her chores with Billy. I was used to bringing out food, or changing water etc. so I did that for Coda sometimes. And after a while, friend was like 'it would be cool if we could trail ride together, how about you learn on Billy first since he's so slow and sedate.' And friend was like 'I'll ride Coda because I have more experience.' This made sense! She wanted me to stay safe!! But...

Billy was slow, sedate, and did not give a shit about me. This is a horse that stepped on my feet (on purpose), who deliberately angled towards low-hanging branches to scrape me off the saddle (hilarious, but also not really), and made it clear how much he wasn't interested in anyone else riding him in the most passive aggressive way a horse possibly can.

Coda, on the other hand, had a reputation for being wild and unstable. He'd tossed multiple riders more than once, hadn't been trained with Natural Horsemanship (like...kind of? But not really) and was not halter-broke by the time friend-of-friend got him, so just getting him to accept a halter and a saddle at all was huge, and anything beyond that was like 'welp, good luck.'

However, it was obvious trying to do anything with me and Billy was not going to work out. So...Coda it was.

And idk how to explain it, but Coda and I just got along. It was on the other hand terrifying, because his default movement was 'canter' and all he wanted to do, all he wanted to do, was gallop up and down granite hills as quickly as possible and spook at fucking everything. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't taken out much and he had that kind of personality. He once saw a kangaroo in the distance and spun a full 360 degrees, and I ended up half off him, hanging on for dear life, while friend just stared at me and said: 'how did you not fall off, that was insane. You might actually be good at this.'

Well. No, I wasn't, I just had a good grip, lmao.

So we went on extremely stressful trail rides together. Billy thankfully curbed some of Coda's GOTTA GO FAST instincts but only to a point, so I had to be pretty hypervigilant nonstop because that dude bunched his hindquarters what felt like every ten seconds, and I can't really blame him, it's what he loved to do most. He was just a terrible horse to learn to ride on, lmao, even if we did get along.

I haven't ridden since and honestly haven't felt much of an inclination to. I'd be too heavy now anyway. And I'm pretty certain I'd be bad at it. When your first experience is 'placid horse who generally accepts everyone but stares at you in a desultory manner and makes sure you know - while feeding him / brushing him / watering him etc. - that you do not matter in the grand scheme of things' followed by 'I like you! NOW I WILL FLING MYSELF DOWN THIS GRANITE HILL WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE ARE ALL SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT AND NOT FEAR' you think 'actually I don't need to ride the murder ponies, it's fine.'

Anyway, yeah, I have ridden a horse.

[food-for-hungry-mtr-fans]

I can imagine the robinsons’ family group chat is incredibly chaotic 💀

It is INSANE. Every Robinson has a unique typing style and it would take a whole cypher to understand a days worth of messages.

Because this wasn’t really a concrete ask, I’m going to write the hc’s about what each Robinsons like in the chat.

Wilbur / T!meL0rd: Misspells everything. Definitely a meme spammer. Has been banned four times.

Cornelius: Doesn’t have a cool username. Uses proper texting literate, but says ‘lol’. Uses reactions more than he talks.

Franny / FrannysFrogTheater: Her username wasn’t supposed to be that long, she misunderstood what it was. She’s always active and respond in four seconds, but it never on her phone somehow. Weird.

Gaston / CANNONBAL: TYPES IN CAPS A LOT!!!! Sends photos of everything - selfies, his cannons, nature, anything he sees.

Art / Galaxy3F: He uses voice messages a lot, and they’re often horrible audio quality. Cannot type correctly even a little. Isn’t LEGIBLE. He’s determined to figure it out though.

Laszlo / F!R3W0RK: His username has nothing to do with his hobbies. He has a typing quirk, 100%. Uses GIFs a lot, and pronounces them JIFs.

Tallulah / FashionBB🏳️‍⚧️: Also posts memes but not often. Doesn’t talk in chat a lot. Forgets punctuation a lot, but proper caps.

Fritz / FritzRobinson2: Has to use Siri to send messages because Petunia makes it hard to type. Therefor most of what he says makes no sense.

Billy / CHOOCHOO!7 : Can she use a phone? No. She breaks her phones so often her number changes twice a week. She only responds to Fritz, Joe, and Gaston. Nobody understands why.

Joe / SweatGainer : The silent stalker of the chat. He watches everything but never talks in chat. Uses reactions sometimes. Once said ‘k’ and everyone cheered.

Carl / xX.R0bo.Xx: The chat mod. Only really types if to moderate something, or to randomly ban people for his amusement. Sends TikToks in chat at night just to annoy Wilbur, who never silences his phone.

Spike / Thing #1: Did not choose his username. Starts group video calls during genuinely important times and then leaves immediately, forcing the family to one big call. Solved a lot of emergencies like this. Refuses to admit he’s intentionally being helpful.

Dimitri / Thing #2: Emojibombs the chat way too much. Unlike Spike doesn’t care about being helpful. Refuses, even.

Lefty: Couldn’t figure out a username. Posts a very formal daily report at 7am every morning, top of chat. Carl pins it.

Bud&Luc / Lovebirds: Share an account because Bud tore his phone apart for microchips. Send those random game links for free coins and beg everyone to click them. Rick rolled the chat twice.

[steddielicious-quaerhye]

Stupid little headcanons I wanted to share

These may or may not have been influenced by the thousands of fics I’ve read and since incorporated into my standard headcanon. 

Lucas and Dustin have clocked Byler since they were ten. In their attempts to be the Best Allies Ever, their secret first kisses are with each other, where it’s clearly established that neither of them like boys. 

Robin and Steve shower together and help exfoliate/moisturize each other’s backs. 

Wayne is gay. 

Joyce is bi, which Hopper knows and supports. 

Max and Lucas fight over who gets to be the little spoon. 

Mike feels such immense guilt about his feelings for Will (his ex’s brother), that he comes across as homophobic, in that he’s Very Uncomfortable whenever the topic of queerness comes up. 

Nancy and Jonathan eventually get to a comfort level in their relationship that they realize they love when she pegs him. 

Will, El, and Max have their own little trio (once the Hopper-Byers tribe moves back to Hawkins). Max and El are fully aware that Will is in love with Mike and question him on his taste, but are the staunchest Allies. 

Steve and Tommy were each other's first kisses, but lie and tell everyone that Carol was for both of them.

Will, El, and Max also have been stealing weed from Jonathan and Argyle since they found out that it quiets the Upside Downies (aka anxiety, depression, memories of possession, etc.)

Lucas, Mike, and Dustin are firmly in the camp of freshman/sophomores who try their hardest to drink beer because it’s cool, but hate the flavour. (Lucas secretly likes the flavour of beer; he just doesn’t like being drunk.)

Chrissy survives and is very gay and repressed, in dire need of Robin to come expand her mind. 

Billy was some sort of queer and did not take it well. Neither did Neil, when he found out, and that’s the real reason they left California. 

Steve is an excellent baker. 

Eddie is secretly a massive hockey fan and a decent skater, but hides it from the Party since he doesn’t want to be a hypocrite about pucks and sideways laundry baskets. 

Erica has a crush on Dustin and will never admit it. 

The Neverending Story theme song always makes Hopper choke up. When he was in Russia, he’d hum it to himself in memory of everyone working together, so he’s got heavy emotional ties to it. 

Under his clothes, Eddie’s body is a sleeker version of (the very modern) Damiano David, especially because of the mix of gorgeous and shit and meme tattoos. 

Steve becomes a firefighter and eventual fire chief of Hawkins, while Eddie opens his own tattoo shop that has a secret queer lit backroom library. 

[thestalwartheart]

fascination

Prompt fill for @ithinkthereforiamfandom who gave me a bunch of prompts from the soft fic prompt meme. I went with 'slow dancing.'

Read below or on AO3. Comments/kudos/reblog tags are much appreciated 💖

“Now, with your right—no, right—” With a huff and a laugh, Bond stopped moving.

“Shit. Sorry.”

Bond looked down to see scuffs on his shoes from several encounters with Q’s two left feet. He would have been more annoyed about that, but it was hard to be in a bad mood when the Quartermaster’s hair was in wild disarray and he was flushed pink from embarrassment. He looked, for all intents and purposes, like he was on the better side of a lazy afternoon shag.

“This is hopeless, isn’t it?” continued Q, pushing up his glasses. “I’ll just—thank you for your time, but I should really…”

He moved back and tried to extricate himself from Bond’s grip. Bond held on tight. The clock over Q’s shoulder read nine pm. They’d been at this for two hours—give or take—in Q’s garage-cum-lab, and though Q had so far displayed only marginal improvement as a dancer, they had been two of the better hours of Bond’s life. It was safe to say he wasn’t keen to wrap this up too quickly and face his empty flat, not with Q so deliciously dishevelled and unguarded. The man was, for once, exactly where Bond wanted him.

Besides, Bond never quit, not even when the mission seemed insurmountable. What sort of agent would he be, packing it in at the two-hour mark of teaching someone to dance?

“You’re not giving up that easily,” he said to Q as much as himself.

“Sometimes, it’s abundantly clear that some things are best left to the professionals.” Q winced at the state of Bond’s shoes. “If you take those in tomorrow, I’ll get them fixed up.”

“Forget about my shoes, Q.” Bond leaned in. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were afraid of me being better at something than you are.”

“Rubbish. You’re better than me at plenty of things.”

“Oh, I am, am I?”

“Yes.”

“Go on.”

“Ah. Well. There’s the hand-to-hand combat for a start.”

“For a start.”

“And all the jumping out of helicopters and such.”

“Naturally.”

“And a one-hundred percent equipment loss rate. It’s really quite impressive. I don’t think I’ve managed to be so forgetful of thousands of pounds worth of belongings in my life.”

“I brought back that radio last week.”

Q gave him a look. This was more familiar footing. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t throw a party.”

“No, you might have to dance at a party.”

“Oh, for—”

Q tried to pull away again. Bond was quicker this time to pull him back in.

“What was it you said earlier? It was imperative you learn how to dance.”

“Did I say that? I might have been a bit hasty.”

“You told me,” said Bond, his voice low, “that this bloke you were going to your cousin’s wedding with, Billy or whoever—”

“Bailey.”

A stupid name, thought Bond, “—was a proper gentleman and an excellent dancer, and that he’d murder you or some such nonsense if he found out you couldn’t dance.”

“It’s been a rather stressful day, Bond. It’s possible I was slightly dramatic about the whole thing.”

“I should hope so. I wouldn’t want to accuse you of having terrible taste in men.”

“Oh!” Q straightened. He was, for the first time in this argument, feeling properly righteous. “Oh, that’s not a road you want to go down, Bond, if we’re talking about partners with murderous intent.”

“No,” conceded Bond. “Probably not.”

Mostly instinctively, though not without a plan, Bond began to sway slowly to the song coming from Q’s speakers. It was one of Bond’s favourites.

“I suppose they knew how to dance, though,” said Q, beginning to sway too. “Your partners.”

There was a funny expression on his face. A twitch of self-consciousness, perhaps. Bond got a quick look at it before Q cast his eyes downwards, once again, to their shoes. The quip Bond had lined up died on his tongue.

It was time, he knew, to exercise a bit of caution.

“Anyone can dance, Q. Given the right mood, the right music, the right partner.” Bond hummed. “A good glass of wine.”

“Or a martini.”

“Or a martini, yes. But there are things more exceptional than dancing.”

Q’s head snapped up. “I thought you said you liked it.”

“I do.” Bond’s hand travelled lower, over Q’s waist and down to his belt loops. “Don’t you?”

“I can’t—” Q seemed astonished to realise they were making a go of it, moving in time to the music. The footwork was minimal, but dancing—the best kind—was never about the bloody footwork. “Oh.”

“Anyone can dance,” said Bond again. “But not everyone’s you.” His thumb stroked the bony protrusion at Q’s hip. “Just make sure Bill—”

“Bailey,” breathed Q, though he no longer seemed affronted or, indeed, particularly concerned about the man.

“Make sure whoever you end up dancing with never forgets it.”

Bond turned them around, still swaying, while Q scrutinised him. The newly curious look in his eye was familiar. All of this was familiar, except in the ways it wasn’t, not quite. They were in Q’s lab rather than a chandelier-ed ballroom, for a start. They were both down to their rolled-up shirtsleeves, and their suits were crumpled after a long day of desk work. Bond was sober and unarmed. There were no martinis in sight. The lighting was, frankly, awful. But the mood was right, and the partner was definitely right, and—

Q cleared his throat. ”If I was to—”

“Christ, yes.”

And then Q was kissing him, and he was kissing back, grabbing fistfuls of those irresistible curls and tugging Q’s shirt out of his trousers to get at his soft, velvet-warm skin. Q kissed like a wild thing, and his hands were everywhere. The lab amplified every sound they made: the huffs of breath against each other, the rough pull of silk and cotton against a callus or two, the wet suck of Q’s mouth around Bond’s bottom lip. And incredibly, they were still dancing.

With his hands on either side of Q’s face, Bond brought Q to a slow stop. Around them, Nat King Cole crooned about fascination, and Bond thought, yes. Yes, quite.

[alkalilu]

5/11?

(Ask Meme here!)

5. Class: Who is your TWST OC's classmate(s)? How would you describe their relationship? Did they have different classmates in previous year(s) and did they get along?

~ 👁️ ~

Billy is in the same class as Vil (3-C). They're also clubmates but that's besides the point.

They usually keep a healthy distance between each other, not interacting more than necessary, while keeping an eye (or a Rook in Vil's case) on the other. Also, they have the weirdest dynamic in Flight class of 👑: "Could you please take this seriously?" 👁️: "Alright, what do I need to improve to credibly look worse at this?"

As for previous classmates... I'll admit I never thought about it. Despite the potential concept of someone being in the same class as him back in freshman year, and so knows he's way better at flight than he would like to make it look.

~ 🔺 ~

Cyfrin is in the same class as Malleus (3-D). Throughout their time together, Cyfrin was mostly curious (if a bit apprehensive, mostly due to how they share the same country of birth)... Without spoiling, this lasted until Book 7.

I could see a previous classmate of his (probably freshman year?) to be Rook. That could help cement their relationship within the Science Club, as they could have joined it together.

As an aside, he also happens to be classmate of three years with Arley Whittaker (@flanpuddle 's OC). We call them "the classmates ever" in a Discord server, due to how they're close via their interactions (Arley being one of the few to be able to handle some of Cyfrin's usual hijnks) but would deny being friends. Arley was also the victim of the Hat Fight.

---/\---

11. Hobby: What are your TWST OC's hobbies? Who among the cast will they possibly ask to join in their pastime?

~ 👁️ ~

Billy's hobbies include playing the piano, spontaneously singing "We'll Meet Again" and sometimes trying to invent something. That last one works 1% of the time (until Cyfrin intervenes).

Lowkey, I would pay for a Billy and Azul piano duet. It probably would cost me an arm and a leg, since it's Billy and Azul, but still.

~🔺~

Cyfrin's hobbies are journaling, chasing cryptids and making logic puzzles. Usually involving ciphers of some kind.

While I don't see many people who would join him on the first, I could see Rook or Lilia tagging along for the second. Being with Rook gives that patented "Science Club excursion" vibe, too.

As for the third, following the Incident in September, I could potentially see Riddle being one of the people who would try and solve them. Once he has some time to spare. Or really needs a distraction like right now.

[qprstobin]

"there's no evidence that tommy and carol bullied anyone" so publicly humiliating nancy by spray painting nancy the slut wheeler on the hawk sign was just what. because steve implied that was their idea and they did it. you don't just go from never bullying anyone to doing some real diabolical shit like that so. sure steve never bullied anyone but you're reaching trying to extend that to tommy especially. don't forget how easily he got chummy with the racist the following season and joined in gleefully bullying steve

I'm not excusing the graffiti, but I don't think spray painting the slut graffiti as revenge because they (wrongly) thought Nancy cheated on Steve makes it bullying lmao. Bullying is repeated and targeted. One instance is not bullying. I also think "diabolical" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Like what they did was cruel, but diabolical? Graffiti and spreading rumors is like the most typical "get revenge on your/your friend's shitty ex" thing you could do, they just did it in public instead of like the school bathroom. Public shaming for cheating is SUCH a common trope, like do you know how often I see that "WELCOME HOME CHEATER" meme? I'm not saying that makes it right, because it doesn't! But it also doesn't make them evil?

Like I never said that Tommy and Carol are nice lol. They're asshole teenagers! That's canon! Steve calls them out on that and breaks ties with them because of it! But being a dick teenager does not make you a bully, all teenagers are dicks lol.

I also think interpreting Tommy's scenes with Billy as that is in bad faith personally. Homeboy is in like two scenes with Billy - one where Tommy is clearly trying to make Steve jealous, and the other where he is making fun of Steve for his gf once again supposedly cheating on him. The gf that Steve dumped his friends for, after she supposedly cheated on him the first time.

And yeah Billy is racist but y'all are acting like? Everyone in the show should automatically know that? How? The racist shit Billy says on screen is mainly to Max, and later in the show where he actually attacks Lucas. There's a good chance that Steve didn't even realize that Billy's attack on the kids was racially motivated until after the fact.

Considering that Billy literally doesn't interact with anyone but his coworkers and Karen in s3, and the fact that Tommy does not actually seem to like violence that much or at least seems to have a limit! Considering how he reacted to the fight in s1 (going from "hell yeah a fight to oh fuck shit is serious"), I don't think Tommy stayed friends with Billy after season 2 lmao. Like idk I did not get the impression that Billy had any friends in s3.

You're accusing me of reaching but saying stuff like "no one goes from never bullying anyone to something that diabolical" isn't? My whole point has always been that he may be a dick, but there's nothing to show him being anything other than a stereotypical class clown type douchebag lol. The Party's fucking bullies threatened them at knife point. Billy bashes a plate over Steve's head and tries to run the kids off the fucking road with his car. The Angela storyline was so extreme that it was unrealistic and is almost an universally hated part of the season. Tommy makes some mean comments, gives Barb a wet willy, and then rubs it in his ex best friend's face that someone has taken his place and that his gf is cheating on him. Like, the graffiti was bad and Nancy should've probably slapped all three of them not just Steve, but it was a petty and misguided revenge scheme, not bullying.

I think if Tommy was intended to be an actual bully the way fandom pretends he is, we would've seen more of it on screen. If Tommy and Carol were so cruel to the whole school, Robin and Eddie would've said something about it? But they don't! The Duffers are SO blatant about how they go about things, I think if they were truly meant to be bullies, they would've been way more obvious about it lmao.

Like, think what you want! If you wanna headcanon them as being an actual bullies, that's your prerogative. But it's not actually canon.

[multifandomthoughts]

Scaring up Confidence

Requested by @meme-queen-lucy

Looking in the mirror, you give a smirk to yourself. Over the weekend you had found the cutest outfit, one that accentuates your curves. You had already felt good about yourself when later that day you found the perfect pair of shoes to go with it!

“I wonder what my crush will think of it…” you muse, getting ready to head out the door. Your crush, Billy Loomis lived in your head rent free. While other girls drooled over the jocks and the nerds, you had your heart set on him.

He has friends, but always seemed to you to be a bit of a loner sometimes. It’s odd, despite being with a bubbly popular group, he always seems to be the odd one out. And despite being with the popular kids, he was always extremely warm and kind to you.

It was just one of the many reason you’d come to be so smitten. So now you’ve gathered all your courage and put pen to paper to tell him so. Your handwriting wasn’t as neat as you’d like it due to your heart feeling like it was going to beat out of your chest. Once finished, you let out a heavy sigh. Is this really the right way to go about it? His friends could find it before he does and ridicule you. You know he’d stand up for you, but the embarrassment…Fuck it, you think. No better time than the present.

His locker was easiest to discern as he had covered his in punk and horror movie stickers. You could feel yourself begin to shake once again as you approach. Knowing your nerves would only be getting worse, you force your feet to move and with a quick glance side to side in case anyone was watching, you slid the note through a slit in the top of his locker door. Stumbling, you proceed to run away from the locker with blundering steps as you reach the bathroom. Filling the sink with cold water, you dunk your face in it immediately.

You couldn’t give less of a shit who was to find you, calming down was your first and only priority. All there was to do now was wait. Thoughts begin swirling in your head, a cloudy storm beginning to form.

Days begin to pass, and no response through phone, face to face or note. You begin to think that maybe that daring confession may have scared him off. You hadn’t been anything but friendly and kind to him, no reason to suspect that you harbored a deep crush.

It’s a few days later that the response finally comes, and to your surprise it’s in the middle of lunch. A sudden chill comes down your back, and you realize it was an ice cube slid down the back of your shirt. With a gasp and a sputter, you turn to see who did this and find it’s Billy grinning like a cheeky bastard. “Hey! What was that for?” You pout, poking his chest. “Thought I might give a scare to the person who scared me.” Your face drops and you stare directly at his feet. “No, no, no! Not like that!” Billy spits. Gripping your hand with a solemn face, he drags you out of the lunchroom where nobody can see.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you, but the note you left in my locker scared me a bit. A lot of people don’t like me and my friends, so at first I thought it might have been someone threatening to beat me up.” With a deep sigh, and a tightened grip on your hand, Billy continues to speak. “But I couldn’t be happier with what the note actually said. I’ve done my best to be kind to you so that you aren’t afraid of me. And…I guess in doing that, I harbored a crush on you, and hoped you would do the same.”

Without a second to speak, you tackle Billy in a hug. He likes you back, and wants to be with you! You can feel him tenderly placing his hands on your love handles, and you can feel his heartbeat. Holding back tears, you remove yourself from the hug, and look up at him, beaming. “So, would you potentially want to go on a date with me? You inquire. “Of course! We can hang out after school, maybe get a bite to eat? I want you to meet my friends, too!” Flashing that sweet smile you spent so many days dreaming of, you can feel your heart beat faster.

Wanting to make him smile even more, you try and think of other date ideas to offer that he’ll like. “We could also go see a movie together some time, I like a lot of the same stuff you do so you wouldn’t need to tone it down for me or change your picks for my sake!” Sure enough, he does grin at that and raise an eyebrow. “Alright, I may take you up on that.

So tell me then… what’s your favorite scary movie?”

[thestarlightforge]

Raimi & Waldron really thought they ate with this. 🙃 (cw: reclaimed disability/homophobia slurs below the cut)

and then she Did K*ll Herself 🫠

This was me in the movie theatre, btw. Thank the mother/maiden/crone for Jac Schaeffer & co. Agatha All Along = best “Nope + L + Ratio” in the MCU yet 💀

Bonus:

How it should’ve ended :))

But it’s ok. Clea will get him to sort himself out, lol. (Or he will once Billy finds out what happened & does a Big Witch Violence on him 💀)

Inspired by:

(NB: I did not draw these, just wrote the text & collaged the panels! Please support the incredible artists who made this post possible. ❤️🖤)

Billy & Tommy are disabled allegories meta (& so is Nicky)

Spider-Verse meme

Chibi Wanda art

Chibi Dr. Strange art

WandaVision fam art

Mini Darkhold

Anime Doctor Strange

Queer Minimoffs doodle

Wanda reading the Darkhold doodle

Stephen & Wanda should be friends actually