#I did take an edible so I’m ready for mess

[whoblewboobear]

✨Gamers✨ The results are in~

Thirstgate is on, let’s get nasty 👏

Post your thirstiest thoughts about past and present houseguests before the episode if you’re feelin silly 🥵✌️

[lurochar]

Well-Fed

It isn't wise to harass Alastor's assistant. A man learns this the hard way.

Human Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Violence, unknowing cannibalism

--

What a pleasant night.

“F-fuck, please – what do you want?! I’ll… I’ll do anything!” The man pleaded, sniveling as he tried to crawl back, “J-just don’t kill me!”

What lovely begging.

Alastor hummed, eyeing the fallen man as he wondered in which way he should slaughter him that would best satisfy him and his current needs.

Should he just blow the man’s brain out? It’s not like he needed his head for anything – nothing really too edible there. It always made such a mess.

Maybe cut the man’s throat and make it a quick one? It always did give him a thrill to watch the life fade from one’s eyes and the absolute terror on their faces when there was nothing to be done. 

Possibly chop the man’s limbs off and watch him slowly bleed to death? He would probably put up too much of a fight and ruin too much of his meat and it would take far too long.

“Do you remember me?” Alastor asked, causing the man’s eyes to finally look at his face rather than the rifle in hand, “Or actually, do you remember the woman at the radio station earlier today?”

“Y-yeah, ‘course I remember you!” The man simpered, as if sucking up would actually save his life, “You’re Alastor Hartfelt, right? That radio host who’s the talk of the town right now?” His face twitched, “So, why you doing this?! Don’t fucking tell me…!” His eyes widened when he finally figured it out.

He wasn’t getting out of here alive.

“I asked, ‘do you remember the woman at the radio station earlier today’?” Alastor didn’t flinch in the least as he pulled his axe from the holster at his hip, swinging it down in a smooth motion, and easily severing the man’s hand.

He was screaming now, of course, in complete shock at the brutal action and he tried to scramble to his feet to run for his life, but Alastor already had his rifle at the ready, easily shooting him in the foot before he could do anything.

“I’d rather not repeat myself for a third time,” Alastor looked on in a bit of distaste when the man vomited, heaving and twitching around in agony. “It is why you are here, after all.”

The man didn’t answer or didn’t even hear him as he curled up into a sad little ball, causing Alastor to sigh in slight disappointment that his hunt was already over, but preparing meat took time and he had already invited you over to dinner the next night, so it was fine.

“Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” Alastor knew he was talking to himself at this point as he knelt down as he reached for his knife from his belt, “I’d rather you not treat women like objects that you can use whenever you feel like it. Far too many men are like this. Imagine how Y/N felt when you cornered her in my radio station and groped her like a mindless animal? Perhaps as helpless as you are now? In any case, I do not tolerate any disrespect of such kind, especially with my lovely little assistant.”

He was rambling, he knew, he always did get like this when it came to you and your wellbeing.

“I’ve spent too much time on you,” Alastor tightened his grip on his knife, “I have a meal to prepare. I do hope you taste better than you look, my good chum.”

He hoped you liked Jambalaya.

–

“This is amazing!”

Alastor smiled, feeling absolutely pleased at your joyful expression as you took a bite of his cooking, clearly delighting in the flavour, “It’s my mother’s recipe, you see.” His eyes flashed, a dark satisfaction building up in him, “I’m glad you like it. I thought the meat might have been of too low quality.”

“No, no!” You went to reassure him, “I’m nothing fancy!” You eagerly took another bite. “You are a very good cook. Your mother must have taught you well. She must be very proud.”

“I would like to think so.” Alastor’s smile softened briefly at the thought, “I do try to be nothing less than a true gentleman. I believe my mother would have liked you very much so. I would like to share more of her recipes with you, if I may be so bold to ask?”

You flushed, looking down at your food before peering back up to Alastor with a shy smile, “I would like that too.” You did not recognize the mania behind Alastor’s eyes as you continued to eat his cooking.

“I’ll keep you well-fed, my dear.”

[pauking5]

Chime of Fate

Pairing: enishi yukishiro x reader

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.7k+

A/N: This is a little drabble to celebrate the birthday of the man, the legend, who does his absolute best in every role he plays, but especially as Enishi Yukishiro. Happy birthday Mackenyu! This is somehow linked to the Addicting Taste lore because it just makes sense to me, but could be read as a standalone (if you squint enough). It was also partly inspired by Iris - goo goo dolls. As always, enjoy lovelies.

The mansion was not a fun place to be lately. Your days were spent either preparing for missions or training and the monotony of it was killing you. Absolutely no offence to Enishi, but spending time with him was both a learning experience and a horror. You needed to get out and see other people before you went mad and talked to the weapons you trained with like they would talk back to you.

The market down in the village tonight felt like the perfect occassion to get out and see the world. There was just one problem. You were broke and you didn’t know the area that well yet, so whether you liked it or not you had to drag the sulking mop of gray hair with you.

This was one of the days Enishi wanted to spend in his office, working away on his plans. He was narrowing down the details on a nearby mafia base when his attention was distracted by your presence at his office door. You failed to peak silently through the small crack, discovering your location.

“Why are you hanging onto the door like a panda?”

“Pandas are cute," you stated walking towards his desk. He narrowed his eyes at you, urging you to state the reason and timing of your unplanned visit so he could get back to his work.

“Get dressed.”

“What for?”

“We’re going out today!”

“I’m not in the mood,” he said going back to reading the map in his hand. You didn’t move from your spot, placing your hands on your hips in an authoritarian way.

“If you want Wu to become the house chef then be my guest,” you said sternly, a determined look in your eyes. That made his eyes snap to you.

“You wouldn’t—“

“Oh, I totally would. So, I suggest you go get changed if you want to continue eating edible food.”

He thought it over. Last time he put Wu in charge of the kitchen left him cleaning up the burnt mess of what was supposed to be a batch of pancakes. He really didn't want to repeat the experience.

On the other hand, he didn’t really want to see human beings walking about today. But you seemed so excited about going out and the puppy eyes you were making at him made it hard to say no to you.

“Okay.”

“Great! See you out front," you chimed as you skipped to your room to get ready. He shook his head at your antics.

——————————

You were done first and came out to wait for him, warming up your hands in the pockets of your coat. The weather got colder recently. Frozen leaves crunched to pieces under your feet as you paced around.

Finally, he stepped out, blue kimono sitting snug around his form. He sported his usual annoyed scowl, arms tucked around his chest to ward off any unwanted attention in a ploy to seem intimidating.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s a market in the village tonight."

“And why do I really have to accompany you?”

“Because you’ve been cooped up in your office way too much. And because I wanted to go with you,” you twirled the ends of your coat mindlessly as you walked together. He thought you looked adorable.

The dark forest path was soon brightened by the cheery atmosphere of the village. You walked around the vendors, picking up all kinds of savory stuff that Enishi had to pay for. He didn't mind but he did start craving sweets the more he saw you gobble them up.

The ice-cream you were currently stuffing your face with looked tempting, so he leaned in to take a bite. You saw him approach and quickly moved the frozen dessert away from him. He tried again but you kept spinning around to keep it out of his reach, giggling at his failed attempts. That was until he got hold of your wrist, pulling the cone to his mouth, his other hand resting on your lower back to bring you closer. Your heart got stuck in your throat as you watched him bite into your ice cream, eyes gazing intensely into yours.

“Is this vanilla?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, unable to speak in the fear that your voice will crack at the proximity between you.

“I like it," he said as he took another bite, his earlier sulkiness long gone. He looked like a child and you couldn't help the smile pulling at your lips.

“Of course you do. Go get one for yourself," you huffed and he let go of your hand.

"But it tastes better from you."

"Go buy another one while thinking of me."

"But that's not the same," he pouted. You shook your head at his antics, passing him the ice cream you were eating and he took it happily.

"You're such a child."

"You love me."

"Whatever floats your boat."

You left him conversing with a villager whilst you walked around the rest of the vendors. The jewelry stands pulled you in as they sparkled with all kinds of accessories, from wooden hair pins adorned with gems to rings embellished with semi-precious stones. There were even stacks on stacks of gold and silver.

You scanned all of them until one caught your eye, a silver earring with a bell attached twinkling in the silver pile. You picked it up and held it up to your eye level examining it. It strangely reminded you of Enishi, the same cold light reflecting off the charm the more you turned it around.

“Do you have someone on your mind?” asked the lady behind the stand. She was dressed modestly considering the expensive jewelry she was selling. Her hair was put up with a hair pin, simpler than the ones displayed on the stand.

“How did you know?”

“I can see compassion on your face. He’s probably someone really important to you.”

“Him? Pft. I don’t… I don’t think so?” you said looking at the earring. There was something about it that called to you. You tried to put it back down but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't look away from it. It felt like you were meant to hold it.

“That one is a special kind. It’s a token of good fortune, but it’s also meant for protection. If you follow its sound back to its owner you’re going to be protected from danger too.”

You rang the little bell in your hand and a timid chime greeted you. There was something about the sound that made you feel at peace, just like his presence. Your eyes peered back to Enishi who was still in his spot, this time helping a farmer fix the wonky leg of his cart. Once he made it stable enough, he stood back up and the farmer thanked him.

“He must be your soulmate.”

“Soulmate? I wouldn't put it that way.”

“You do feel a connection with him, don’t you?”

You couldn’t deny she was onto something. You and Enishi were so different, but something kept you together, like magnets pulling at each other. It was cliche but this bond existed. You nodded at the lady, wanting to humour her in hopes you’d find out why this bond felt so important.

“I can tell that you’re connected by something, be it the string of fate or something much more spiritual—“ she was cut off as the man in question made his presence known beside you.

“Are you trying to mess her brain too, witch?”

“Hey! Speak nicely to the lady,” you said slapping his arm.

“Ow. What was that for?" he muttered walking away like a scolded child. You shook your head at him, turning back to the lady to see her quite amused at the interaction.

"I haven't seen him like this before," she said smiling while looking in his direction. "He's always helping the villagers with all kinds of things, from gathering the crops to fixing their carriages. But in all that compassion there's this part of him that's shut off from the world. A coldness around his heart that's holding him prisoner," she said taking a hold of your hands.

"There's a warmth about you that might be just what his heart needs. Stay with him," she placed the earring in your palm, closing it around the small charm.

You knew there was truth to her words. Enishi was more than cold, he was arctic. His coldness could cut deep, but it was just a facade to protect his heart. People never batted an eye at his pain, looking at him like the only thing he could be is a monster, collecting souls for the underworld. But in the few weeks you've spent with him you realised that wasn't true.

He cares. He wants to help. And he does everything in his power to show that to the people who manage to get through to him.

“I’ll take it,” you whispered, handing the last coin in your saddle to the lady. If you could show your appreciation to him in some way it was with this small earring. At least for now.

“Good luck with him."

“Thanks! I’ll need it.”

You turned and ran to catch up with Enishi who was already heading in the direction of the woods, probably to get back to his work. It seemed like his social battery drained out fairly quickly today, judging by the small steps he took.

You fell in step by his side prodding about his earlier behaviour to the vendor lady.

“Why were you so rude to her?”

“Because she’s always spewing nonsense about spiritual stuff or whatever. It’s creepy," he spat out annoyed.

“What’s creepy is you being rude to someone just because you can’t understand them.”

That made him stop in his tracks. You kind of had a point. There was no reason for him to be snarky like that but it was a habit he couldn't let go of. He started being more mindful of it after spending more time with you as you corrected him and explained where he was wrong.

He looked at you as you walked beside him, hands full of pastries that he bought for you. He wouldn't admit it, but he was glad you took him with you to the market. He wasn't one to browse through stands unless he really had to buy food, but he enjoyed doing it with you for fun.

Your voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“Enishi?”

"What?"

“Give me your hands.”

“What for?”

This brat. Why do you need a reason for everything?

“Just give them here,” you gestured, balancing the bags of pastries under your arm.

He stopped walking to face you, arms held out to you. You took hold of his palms, turning them upwards to put yours over his, fingers sneaking all the way to his wrists.

“What are you doing?” he asked lifting an eyebrow at you.

“Here,” you said as you slid them off, leaving the earring in his palm. The charm looked so small in his huge hand as he took to inspecting it. He rang the bell and a chime echoed back to him. His eyes widened in surprise at the sudden gift.

"I thought you were broke."

"Well I am now," you laughed.

He remembered that the earring he usually had in his ear tarnished recently and he took it off, making a note to get a new one. But it seemed like you beat him to it.

“Put it on” you said shyly.

He clipped the charm in his ear giving it a try as he wiggled his head about. An image of a gray-haired cat playing with its collar popped in your head as you watched Enishi, his fingers playing around with the bell, the ghost of a smile present on his lips.

“I take it you like it," you giggled.

“I do. Thank you," he mumbled.

You nodded and made your way to the mansion with him following behind, the sound of the bell filling the silence of the night.

Maybe fate played a part in your meeting but only time would be able to tell. For now, you’re just coexisting in the same space. Later, who knows?

Thank you for reading! As always, comments, notes and reblogs are welcome :)

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (29)

*When the Tributes finally discussed the Mentorship Program after the Zoo Fiasco* Read [This] first.

Facet: Yesterday was kinda crazy.

Velvereen: Crazy?! Those Capitol losers were freaking hilarious!

Marcus: Says the one who didn’t need to clean up their Mentor’s mess.

Velvereen: To be fair, none of those four freaks were assigned to me.

Marcus: Well then, Velvet, I hope you get the worse one.

Velvereen: It’s Velve- Why am I even correcting you?! Your Mentor is a stupid drunk idiot!

Marcus: Ha! I pray your Mentor is an unhinged psycho who will feed you expired food.

Velvereen: You little sh-

Facet: Why are you two even fighting?! And why was that last part weirdly specific?!

Panlo: Yo, let’s trade Mentors!

Marcus: Does anybody want to take mine then?! I’m literally ready to sell his soul to anyone-

Lamina: But Marcus, your Mentor was clearly loaded with food and money.

Panlo: Yeah! You’re so lucky! Your Mentor was even generous to give me a second ham sandwich.

Brandy: Pablo, why didn’t you save me some?!

Panlo: For the last time, Brandy, my name is Pan-

Brandy: I don’t care!

Lucy Gray: And his boyfriend even gave me a rose! What a cute looking gentleman!🤭

Jessup: Are you sure about that, Lucy Gray?

Lucy Gray: What do you mean?

Jessup: Well, last time I checked, that Snow Angel was stupidly drunk and embarrassing himself in front of Treech.

Mizzen: He and his friends were also busy crying and hugging Reaper all the way here!😂

Reaper: Ughhh! Don’t remind me!

Coral: Lucky indeed. My half-naked Mender-

Teslee: Mentor.😀

Coral: *glares at Teslee* My stupid Mender only gave me this useless cheesecake coupon.

Brandy: What’s a coupon? Is it edible? Can I eat it?

Jessup: At least Vitamin Girl gave me these sparkly pills.

Panlo: Are you sure those things are safe to digest, 12?

Jessup: Don’t know. Don’t care.

Lucy Gray: They might as well taste like candy.

Facet: I just hope my Mentor is rich enough to feed me.

Teslee: Can we stop thinking about our Mentors for a moment? You’re all just making me nervous.

Lucy Gray: Don’t be so giddy, Teslee. We haven’t even met all of them.

Teslee: You’re just happy you already met your stupid Mentor! Plus he’s pretty!😫

Lucy Gray: And very much taken.

Velvereen: His super rich boyfriend is so clingy though.

Tanner: Well, I wish I had a super rich glucose guardian who would spoil me rotten too.

Facet: Same. But I want mine to take me shopping and buy me expensive jewelry.

Lucy Gray: Why the jewelry though?

Facet: Because I have standards.

Circ: Well, I just want someone as smart as me.

Jessup: Please stop. I don’t want to hear any of your fantasies while I’m still alive and breathing.

Reaper: Ugh!! Why did they even let a bunch of kids mentor another bunch of kids?!

Treech: Honestly, I couldn’t and wouldn’t care less.

Lucy Gray: Yup. Capitol people are weird.

Coral: Says the weirdest one.😒

Lucy Gray: Hey! Stop bullying Reaper!

Reaper: She’s not talking about me, Baird. She’s talking about you.

Lucy Gray: No, she ain’t!

Coral: Yes, I am!

Treech: Why are you guys even fighting? You should be more concerned about our dwindling food supplies.

Velvereen: Well, we could just save the cookies that Blondie and his rich boyfriend gave us for the next few days-

Mizzen: I already ate all of mine and Coral’s. So-

Coral: Mizzen, you little gremlin, how could you?!

Mizzen: They were delicious!

Coral: They were my evil Capitol cookies! Not yours!

Mizzen: Sharing is caring!

Coral: You never share, you evil gremlin!

Tanner: Well, I think the people in charge should at least feed us while we’re here.

Dill: *coughs* I think our Mentors will take care of that problem.

Hy: *coughs* I just hope my Mentor is rich enough to give me medicine.

Sheaf: I hope mine can steal me some Capitol sweets.

Brandy: I want to eat cake.

Panlo: Just don’t expect someone normal then. You might as well end up working with a Kleptomaniac who steals puppies for a living.

Reaper: Or a freaking Ravinstill.

Tanner: One of the President’s family members?! Never!

Dill: *coughs* Imagine working with a crazy Ravinstill.

Coral: Honestly, I would rather die of embarrassment if a stupid Ravinstill was assigned to me.

Dill: *coughs* Same.

Bobbin: I would literally take anyone else at that point. Heck! I would take one of those four drunks to be my Mentor.

Jessup: Shut up, Bobby! We get it already.🙄

Bobbin: It’s Bobbin!😠

Mizzen: No need to fight. Besides, we just have to wait and see by tomorrow.

Lucy Gray: Yeah! Let’s hope for the best!

Reaper: *is aggressively praying* Please, Panem, for once, I beg you to give me the normal one!😫🙏

Tanner: The normal one?

Reaper: And please don’t give me a Ravinstill! Give it to Dill for all I care!😭

Dill: *coughs* I heard that!😠

*Meanwhile, at the President’s Mansion*

Felix: *sneezes*🤧

Androcles: What’s wrong, Class Pres? You have been sneezing nonstop since late afternoon.

Felix: I came out to work on my essay today, but honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now.

Androcles: That’s rough, buddy.

Felix: Wait- How did you get in here? And why are rolling in my freaking bed, Andie?!

Androcles: What do you mean? I always come here after school.

Felix: But I didn’t even invite you?

Androcles: You don’t need to invite me. I have your house keys.

Felix: You stole the Presidential House Keys?!

Androcles: You gave them to me.😀

Felix: I don’t remember giving you my- Andie, did you steal those Keys from the President of Panem?!

Androcles: Felix, my bestie, just accept the fact that we’re fundamentally married already!😘

Felix: We’re not even a couple-

Androcles: We have been bromantic boyfriends since the moment you won the class election.

Felix: Says who?!

Androcles: Says everyone but you, Class Pres~.😏

[2-sleepy-for-this]

Not so Silent Night

Hiya! Yay! Another fic completed, this one is for a secret Santa my discord is having. The person I got assigned was..🥁🥁

the amazing @azzysflowergarden ! :)

the prompt was: Raph n Mikey baking holiday foods/making a gingerbread house together (｡>◡<｡)!! Doesn't necessarily have to be xmas foods tho (ˊ˘ˋ*)

and the medium to receive was: either (so I did both ;) )

Tw: tooth rotting fluff

word count ~ 1 k

“Pleaseeee!” 

Mikey looked at Raph from his perch on the countertop. 

“I don’t know. I was gonna patrol tonight. The people need red riot,”

“Yea, but I need red riot too!”

Raph had tried saying no, but, turning to see Mikey there, so small with puppy eyes working overtime, he just couldn’t ruin his baby brother's happy demeanor.

“Fine, Raph can make the people wait. Let’s bake,”

“Yay! Ok, so, first we need to add in the flour, some milk and eggs. Oh! maybe some nutmeg, should we make them gingerbread? We gotta make them gingerbread- “

“Woah, woah, woah, I don’t even know what we’re making yet. Slow down,” 

“Right, we are making drumroll, please… Christmas cookies! Ta-da!”

Christmas cookies, huh? Those can’t be too hard. Sure, Raph’s not the best in the kitchen, but they’ve made cookies plenty of times before. What could go wrong?

“Alright, little brother, we got this. "

Raph extended a hand, which Mikey jumped on without hesitation. That always made Raph's heart melt. How much Mikey trusted him, even though he was so tiny.

They made their way to the fridge, the smaller of the two saying each ingredient they needed. Raph would never understand how he just knew what needed to be mixed to make such delicious things.

After grabbing a mixing bowl on the way back to the table, they were ready to start making some treats.

~~~~~~~~~~

Treats weren’t the only thing made that night. That much would be clear to anyone walking into the kitchen. 

Flour, dough and many other things decorated almost every surface, including the two turtles in the eye of the sugary storm. Another bit of frosting was thrown against the wall as a small turtle covered in raw dough continued on his mission to make a gorgeous edible mural on the wall for all to see.

“Mikey! Stop it! This’ll take forever to clean up. "

“Relax, I’m making the kitchen better! This is gonna look amazing when it’s done. Promise!”

The used-to-be orange brother said, but his next throw fell short as a giant hand grabbed him by the shell. Mikey was soon eye level with his big brother. He laughed under a playful glare.

After much convincing, Raph got Mikey to stop frosting the kitchen, and it wasn’t long until the shaped cookie dough was in the oven. 

20 minutes and a very long debate about the best pizza topping later, fresh hot cookies were being pulled from the oven rack and placed down to cool.

To most people, looking at the tray, you’d see some misshapen blobs of tan, but to the brothers that fought tooth and nail to make them good, these were perfect.

The frosting process was just as chaotic as the baking process. If it weren’t for the flour covering his body, Raph would say the frosting was the messiest part. 

Once Mikey picked all the colors they would need and Raph mixed them into the already made frosting, they were ready to finish the cookies. With Mikey’s small form, he was able to make his cookies look better than any professional Raph had ever seen. Raphs cookies on the other hand looked… edible.

Finally, after hours of baking and frosting and mess-making, the product was complete. Christmas turtle cookies. Each resembling one of the four brothers, Mikey made his own and Donnie’s, Raph made his and Leo’s. 

“These look amazing, best. Cookies. Ever!”

Mikey seemed over the moon with joy as he ran around, looking over each cookie bigger than him. 

“Yea, we really outdone ourselves, little brother. "

Raph couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. How did he ever get so lucky to be a big brother? It didn’t matter. All that mattered in that moment was the sparkle shining in Mikey’s eyes, so big coming from someone so small.

The brothers soon made up their minds. These cookies were special, so it made sense that they had to be enjoyed as a family.

After washing themselves up, they made their way around the lair, Mikey riding on Raph’s shoulder the whole way, trying to find the twins. Leo was found in his room reading comics but at the mention of a sweet surprise, he was up and following them to get Donnie. Said mad scientist was working at his desk with whatever new project he’d come up with. It took much more convincing for him to leave, but he, too, was curious about what the oldest and youngest had planned.

With all brothers accounted for, they went back to the kitchen. By the time Raph got to the kitchen counter, he could feel Mikey vibrating with excitement. Mikey ran down Raph’s arm, nearly giving the oldest brother a heart attack, and landed not-so-gracefully on the surface below. He ran up to the cooling tray of treats and threw his arms up.

“Ta-da! We made cookies!”

The twins looked over the cookies, inspecting the details their brothers put on just for them. Mikey explained how raph had made Leo’s and Mikey had made Donnie’s and both cool colored themed turtles thanked their eldest and youngest siblings. 

After the gratitude came to the turtle's favorite part, each brother grabbed their cookie, except Mikey, who needed raph to hold it while they all made their way to the living room. They sat on their designated spots in front of the tv and enjoyed the rest of the night.

And as the morning sun rose in the sky, it was quiet and peaceful while the turtles slept to the end credits of a movie playing on the screen. Not a creature was stirring, not even a rat.

“BOYS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE KITCHEN”

Ok. Maybe one very unhappy rat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hope you like it cinni! <3

[insipid-drivel]

If you’re having relapsing panic symptoms after having a virus...

It’s probably okay! Don’t blame yourself! Don’t isolate yourself and try to hide it if you’re struggling “like you used to”! Talk to your doctor about it! There are explanations beyond “it’s just in your head” or “you had a shock from being sick”, and convincing yourself otherwise isn’t gonna help you feel better.

This past week I’ve been wretched with panic attacks and general “AAAAAAAAAAA” from my brain, and it was after I was very sick with the stomach flu (the news reports about the new strains of Norovirus are not jokes; please look after yourselves, everyone, especially if you need daily medications, and get to a hospital if you need daily oral medications and can’t hold them down). I got so violently ill that I wound up falling into a state of cold-turkey withdrawal.

I bounced back, fortunately, and am physically okay again, but for the past week, I’ve been really hard on myself for having relapses into panic levels and cycles that I haven’t struggled with in years! I’ve never been so vulnerable to things like my old triggers! I even have panic attacks in my sleep again for the first time in ages!

Finally getting in to talk to my psychiatrist, I got my answer:

Viruses can seriously mess up how you metabolize certain oral medications, including psych meds, and sometimes our bodies need help much longer than you’d expect to balance out. Most of the information we get about recovery times from common viruses don’t apply to people on medications, the neurodivergent, and the disabled, and holding ourselves to the same “healing standards” as others can actually make things worse.

My psychiatrist literally compared it to accidentally ingesting grapefruit while on a psych med (plenty of you know how bad an idea that is, but for those who don’t, it basically means your body won’t recognize your medication in your body), and gently explained that it wasn’t my fault for being anxious and panicked again, or for needing to go back on my panic meds. It wasn’t my fault for “backsliding” into being fragile and sensitive as I was before I ever set foot in a therapeutic setting. I was also told, “If you don’t feel totally ready to go off your anxiety medications, then it’s not time yet. This shows me that the meds are still helping.”

I also have a very, very slow metabolism (meaning it takes a lot less of a drug for me to feel sick from it than the average person), and so it made perfect sense I wasn’t bouncing back to my psychiatrist. My metabolism is just shut down, and all I need to do is rest and focus on keeping up with eating, my medications, and taking it easy!

I complained that not even weed was hitting me right and calming me down the way it should (I’ve been encouraged to use marijuana for multiple different reasons and live in a state and setting where it isn’t condemned and have had a wonderful experience with it). I prefer to use edibles or beverages as my mode of delivery for when I’m having trouble with anxiety, chronic pain, or stomach issues, but it wasn’t helping much this time! I’ve been feeling terrible about going through way more than I did before!

Until I just took a hit from my vape instead, bypassing my digestive system altogether. As soon as I did, I felt right again. I calmed down. I could get out of bed, and everything was okay. Like my psychiatrist said, my metabolism just wasn’t taking in my nutrition levels - even cannabis - correctly, and I just have to take it easy and let myself recover. It does not mean it’s permanent.

So, if you’re noticing that the meds you use regularly aren’t helping you like they ought to and your moods are hard to manage, especially after you’ve been sick, see your doctor and tell them. Not only will they be able to unburden you of your dreads and worries that can make your symptoms even more unpleasant, but they probably know how a certain sickness can throw you off and how to help reset and feel better faster.

[beels-burger-babe]

Of Jealousy and Friendship - Pt. 1

Topic number 2 won in the vote to be written next! So without further-a-do, let’s get going!...This ended up being a two part thing. Oh Well. Here’s part one. - B GN! MC Summary: MC makes a lower demon friend who may secretly be hoping for something more than friendship. The Demon Bros are not about to let this happen. Part Two: Here, Epilogue: Here It all started in magical potions. When you first arrived, the course wasn’t so bad since you took it with Beelzebub. The two of you always partnered up; the hour would consist of you jokingly scolding Beel for trying to eat ingredients and making light hearted jokes with one another whenever the teacher turned their back.  But once the second semester started, Beel was moved out of the course as it had gotten too expensive to keep him in a class where most of the subject matter was edible.  Which left you alone and bored in the classroom as the teacher went on and on about Mandrake roots and what they can be used for. You let out a heavy sigh and plopped your forehead onto the desk.  A soft snort came from beside you. You glanced over to see a demon with his feet propped up on his desk staring right back at you out of the corner of his dark green eyes. He smiled at you with a tilt of his head.  “The lectures are a total snooze fest right? I joined this class cause I thought we’d be making potions and causing stuff to explode. Not sitting here twisting our thumbs all day.” 

You bit back a laugh as you worried glanced over at the professor, who was none-the-wiser to the little conversation the two of you were sharing. You looked back over to the demon. His dark skin caused those hauntingly green eyes of his pop out at all who met his gaze, with carefully trimmed and styled black curls sitting stylishly on the top of his head.  There was a playful and mischievous energy to him that reminded you of Belphie, Asmo and Mammon.  “Unfortunately suffering through this section of class is mandatory to be allowed to mess around with the fun stuff.”  The demon groaned and threw his head back. “Urgh, that’s so unfair. What’s the worst that can happen? The potion explodes and kills us? Newsflash teach, we’re already dead.”  You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out at that one.  “Well actually the worse that could happen, for you at least as I am a very mortal human, is that you’d suffer the consequences from one of the potions. Anything from shrinking to de-aging to charms, all kinds of things. I’ve seen the effects of a potion gone wrong a number of times during my time down here. Trust me; you don’t want to be on the receiving end.”  He looked over at you with an analytical eye as the corners of his lips tilted upwards. “So you’re the human that everyone’s talking about.” He trailed off, and glanced over at the teacher to make sure they weren’t looking before stretching out his hand towards you. “I’m Cane. You know despite being the talk of RAD, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone mention your name?”  You took his hand into your own and lightly shook it. “I’m MC.” 

Cane leaned back into his chair, “It’s a pleasure to finally put a name and face to that glowing reputation of yours, MC. I see your pretty good at this potions thing, and I hear that you’re a lot of fun. How about you meet me downtown for supper later and we can study and get to know each other a little better?”  Your initial instinct was to agree, but then you paused as you thought of the brothers. “I don’t know. I don’t think that Lucifer or the others would like it much if I went out on my own.”  The demon huffed and light heartedly rolled his eyes. “You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me. I may not be as powerful as them, but I’m still a pretty good fighter.” He teasingly placed a gentle punch onto your shoulder, “Besides, it’s not like they’re boss of you. Are you really going to let a bunch of snobby Lords keep you from making the best of your time in the Devildom?”  That last remark hit a nerve. If there was one thing that had spread quite quickly about you around RAD, it was that you were known for being a little reckless, prideful, and never being able to back down from a challenge, and boy did that statement have you itching to prove him wrong.  You smiled, a sharp dangerous smile, at Cane. “I’ll go. And we’re going to do so much more than just go to a lame restaurant and study. You want to have fun and take risks? We’ll have fun and take risks. Whatever you want to do...to a degree,” you added in quickly remembering that you were talking to a demon and if you didn’t implement any boundaries there was no telling what you’d get yourself into, “I’m in.”  Cane’s eyes sparkled as his smile widened. “Damn. I guess it’s true that you’re a bit of dare devil. Alright, you’re on. Meet me at Hell’s Kitchen a 4pm. We’ll study and hit the books as promised, but afterwards...Get ready for the night of your life.”  ***

The brothers were concerned. You had rushed into the House of Lamentation after school and sprinted to your room, changed out of your uniform and promptly shouted that you were “going out” before taking off before any of them could complain.  Mammon had tried to argue that someone should follow you, and while that wasn’t a terrible idea, Lucifer wanted to give you the question of the doubt. Worst case scenario, you come back home a little scratched up and learn your lesson about taking off into the dangers of the Devildom.  At least that’s what he had thought when you had initially left.  It was now bordering midnight, and you had yet to return home.  So yeah, the brothers were very concerned.  Mammon was pacing and ranting about how this all could’ve been avoided if they had only listened to him for once.  Leviathan was trying to distract himself with his game, but everyone could see the worried glances he kept throwing to the entrance and clock as the minutes ticked by.  Satan sat near where Mammon and would occasionally scold or correct him, and sometimes even throw in his own ideas on what could be done while he thumbed through a book on location spells.  Asmodeus was strangely quiet, sitting near the fire by himself with arms wrapped around his torso as he stared into the flames. He would occasionally move a hand to wipe at his face before it went right back to hugging himself.  Beelzebub had lost his appetite. He sat next to Belphie, taking comfort in his twin’s presence, while Belphegor pretended to be unbothered and asleep, even though his mind was racing with the many stupid situations you could’ve gotten yourself into.  And Lucifer...He just sat in a door near the entryway, his eyes fixed on the entrance as he silently waited.  Finally, just as the clock stroke midnight, they could hear your recognizable laugh from behind the door.  “Oh my god! That was incredible! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun in life!” Leviathan stiffened at the statement, his hands gripping tighter onto his game.  “What did I tell you? I promised you the night of your life, and I sure as Diavolo always make sure to deliver,” everyone froze at the sound of the teasing male voice. “Though I didn’t expect the Seven Lords’ precious human to be a complete bad ass. You were amazing out there.”  Leviathan mumbled something before getting up and leaving the room. Mammon growled lowly and looked at the others, “Anyone know who the hell that is?”  Asmo finally stood, wiping at his face as he did, and began to stride towards the door, “Why don’t we find out?”  Without waiting for a response, Asmodeus swung the door open and pulled on a bright smile as he reached out and wrapped an arm around you. “MC, darling, you didn’t tell me you were bringing over guests! Don’t tell me you’re trying to have fun without me?”  You blinked up at the Asmo before smiling softly at his tactics. “Oh, hey Asmo! I didn’t expect you to be up. Cane here was just dropping me off.”  The demon in question didn’t even so much as stiffen as Asmodeus’s dangerous stare shifted over to him. Instead Cane stood there, relaxed, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Asmodeus raised an eyebrow at him and allowed a bit of his demonic aura to exude around him. “Oh really? At this time of night? Makes a demon wonder what kind of mischief the two of you had gotten up to,” while maintaining eye contact with Cane, Asmo rested his chin against your shoulder. “You know dear, if you wanted “fun” that badly all you had to do was ask. I assure you I could’ve shown you a much better time.” He purred and softly kissed your shoulder.  You shivered, missing the way Asmo stiffened as he noticed something, and swatted at the Avatar of Lust as you moved away from him. “Down Asmo. It’s nothing like that. Cane’s in my magical potions class. We went out to study together and decided to hit a couple clubs while we were out. No biggy.”  “If it’s ‘no biggy’ then why were you out all night without giving us any kind of warning of where you were going or how long you’d be out?” Everyone whirled around as Lucifer stood in the doorway with a frown etched on his face and his arms crossed. He took a step closer to you before freezing mid-step, his nose twitching. His eyes flared red as they fell onto Cane. The lower demon tensed and curled his hands into fists, but seemed to be refusing to back down. Lucifer snarled, “What exactly was it that you said the two of you were up to tonight?”  You frowned and stepped between Lucifer and your new friend. “Hey! Stop it! He didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re implying. And I wasn’t aware that I needed permission for every single thing that I do!” You snapped poking his chest as you moved into his space. “So excuse me for wanting to go out and enjoy myself for once!”  Whatever fear Cane had been showing, quickly slipped away at seeing you stand your ground against the mighty first born. “Yeah. What they said.”  Lucifer growled and caught your hand into his own, pulling you close and leaning in, “You’d be wise to remember that you are in the Devildom and surrounded by beings that have no where near as good intentions as you’d assume. Being so reckless and naïve down here could get you killed again, I thought you had learned that.” His tone was cold and unapologetic as he practically spat the words in your face.  You glared at Lucifer as you yanked your hand out of his grasp. There was so many things you wanted to say to him, but none of them would be right to say in front of an audience. You huffed and turned to face Cane. “I am so sorry about those two. Thanks again for tonight and bringing me home. I’ll see you tomorrow in class, okay?”  Cane gave you a side smile as he scratched the back of his neck. “It’s nothing. I had a great time hanging out with you. Hopefully we can do again...under better circumstances. Goodnight MC.” He took a step towards you and pulled you into a hug.  You smiled, wondering how Lucifer and Asmo could be stirring up such a fuss about a guy who had been nothing but kind to you, and gently hugged him back.  What you couldn’t see, was Cane making direct eye contact with the two other demons, as one of his wrists gently brushed up and down you back and he very lightly nuzzled, so lightly that you could just barely feel it, his face against your neck.  “Hey, what’s takin’ everyone so- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!” Mammon stormed forward and yanked you out of the demon’s embrace, already changing into his demon form. “Who the hell do you think you are scenting our human, huh?!” He lifted Cane off the ground by the collar of his shirt, causing the lower demon growl as he scratched at Mammon’s hands.  You yanked on Mammon’s jacket and arms and tried to get him to back off. “Woah! Mammon, relax! It was just a hug!”  “No it wasn’t,” Satan grumbled as he and the rest of the brothers (excluding Leviathan who was now sulking in his room) stood in the door way. “The fact that you don’t know that makes this even worst. But this isn’t a conversation we should be having out here.” Beel stared down at the demon with a fierce glare. “You should leave while you’re still able. And if you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay away from MC.”  “Wha- Beel! Cut that out!”  Cane took a step backwards, fear beginning to spill into his expression as he finally realizes just how out-powered and out-numbered he is. Still, he was stubborn pain in the ass; it was part of the reason he had been so drawn to you in the first place as he related to your reckless habits. He held Beelzebub’s glare and returned it with one of his own. “I think that MC can choose for themself who they do and do not hang out with, thanks. They already said they wanted to see me tomorrow so they will. We’re friends after all. And classmates,” his grin sharpened as he continued. “I do have to thank you, Lord Beelzebub, for that opening in magical potions by the way. Never would’ve got in if you hadn’t been kicked out.”  Before he could say anymore, he was met with a punch in the face. Belphegore lazily shook out his hand and his looked at Cane with an unbothered expression. “I believe we told you to leave. Now get. The. Fuck. Out.”  Cane scoffed and turned to you once more. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Dare Devil.”  You would’ve snorted at the nickname, but you were to distracted from the brother’s behavior. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safe, Cane.” With another nod, the demon left; leaving you alone with six of the seven brothers bubbling with jealousy, anger, and concern.

[helliontherapscallion]

I'm sorry for adding on to your pile of requests but I just wanted some family fluff with sbi where all of the siblings are having fun on a road trip or vacation

I don't know if that's specific enough for you if you want a little more detail maybe they're just being really dumb and making stupid videos with each other because that's something my sister and I do a lot

(A/N): I hope you don’t mind that I added Kristin and Tubbo (BASED ON THE CHARACTERS, NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE). Real life AU btw (no covid tho)

Okokok so this is deadass something Philza and Kristin is both dreading and looking forward to

1. They love spending time with their family especially now since yall are getting older and don’t spend as much time together anymore/getting ready to fly the coop

2. Have you met the SBI fam? Chaos incarnated.

After packing, yall set out on your trip to the hotel yall rented for a week or so (about an eight hour drive away from the house)

You and your twin Tommy 100% smuggle Tubbo underneath all of the luggage and a blanket

You’ll just ask them for forgiveness when you’re about halfway through

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission 

Wilbur and Technoblade catching you hiding the stowaway and blackmailing you both into doing their chores for a few week 

Seating: Phil and Kristin in the front, Tech and Wil in the middle, You and Tommy in the back, and Tubbo in the trunk (it’s a mom van)

Before getting too far into the trip, a gas station is raided for snacks and drinks

Philza raising a brow at the amount of food you and Tommy get 

Philza’s eyes were torn off from the refrigerator in front of him by his wife lightly nudging him. Looking at her in question, she raised her eyebrows and pointed at their youngest kids. It looked like they were just looking at the Monster drinks, so why- oh god the last thing he needed was two already hyper teenagers hopped up on Monster trapped in a car for eight hours. Before he could go over there to stop them, Kristin grabbed his arm. 

“They’re up to something. Listen to what they’re saying.”

He strained his ears to hear what you both are whispering to each other. “...e like this flavor?”

Tommy shrugged, “I dunno. I’ll text him.”

As Tommy texted someone, Phil looked back at his wife. She wore a similar wary expression as they both stared at each other. He nodded in confirmation, “definitely. How do you reckon we confront them?”

He watched as his wife thought for a moment before she sighed and looked at him with a hint of excitement in her eyes, “let’s wait to see. It might be a pleasant surprise.” 

“What? Are you mad?” He eyed his youngest gremlins once more. It seemed that they finally decided on a flavor and are now moving on to the snack portion. He looked back at his wife and felt his heart skip a beat at the small grin on her face. “...fine. Let’s just see what they’re doing after they do it.” Oh, the things he does for love.

He kept a very close eye on you two after that 

You both are on your phones for longer than usual

Texting Tubbo so that he wasn’t lonely 

Tubbo has fun with hiding too, never being bored at all

The only thing that he (and you and Tommy) struggled with was holding in his laughter

You jumped as you felt someone gently slap your shoulder. Turning around, you saw Tubbo’s hand peeking over the backs of the seats. You glanced at your parents in the front seats, they were deep in conversation. Good. You saw Tommy stifle a laugh and pull out his phone to record. 

Tubbo made grabby hands at something but you didn’t know what he wanted, so you decided to mess with him a bit. Smirking, you put your earbuds in his hand. It snaked back underneath the blanket before he threw it back at you and did more intense grabby hands. You put your metal water bottle in his hand. He did the same thing before he threw it back at you. It collided with your forehead with a loud bong sounding throughout the car. Tommy started to laugh loudly and ended the video. You followed suit in the laughter as Tubbo’s hand froze midair and quickly slinked back into his lair.

All noise in the car came to a halt as they all looked behind them (well, Phil glanced through the rearview mirror suspiciously) to see you and Tommy laughing your asses off with you holding your forehead. Through blurred vision, you could see Kristin looking at you with worry and Techno and Wilbur looking confused and mildly annoyed.

“(Y/n) honey are you alright? What happened?” You opened your mouth to respond, but only wheezes came out making you laugh harder. You could hear Tubbo silently cackling to himself in the back, the blanket shaking slightly. Without being able to speak, you only nodded your head and gave her a thumbs up. 

Tommy sent the video into the siblings' group chat and you could see over Wilbur’s shoulder as he watched it before starting to cackle and save the video to his phone. Even Techno got a good chuckle out and saved it to his phone making Phil and Kristin even more suspicious. Well, Kristin was just excited for what you two (four? Was Techno and Wilbur in on it as well?) had planned. Phil could just imagine the chaotic things you had planned. And he did not like what came to his mind.

When the rest stop came eventually (about three hours into the trip), you all left the car to stretch your legs and take care of business

Taking separate ways to walk in pairs (same person they sat next to in the car)

You and Tommy wait until Phil and Kristin leave before getting Tubbo out of the trunk

You three vibe walking along the winding sidewalks for a bit before you come back to the car and get Tubbo back into the trunk

You, however, forgot to use the bathroom so you leave Tommy and Tubbo in the car 

“Fuck, I forgot to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Be quick, I’m not fuckin telling em if we forget you.”

“Pfft, they won’t forget me. Stop joking around.”

With that, you left the car and made a beeline to the bathroom. After that, you went back to the car. Well, where the car was supposed to be. There was no sight of a van anywhere in the parking lot. That asshole, he just let them drive off? He and Tubbo’s probably giggling to themselves in the backseat like school girls. You were only gone for like eight minutes. 

Sighing, you walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, pulling up Techno’s contact and calling him. 

He picked up after a few rings. The second you heard the dial tone stop, you spoke to him, “check the backseat.”

“What? You’re taking a nap, why’re you calling me I’m literally right in front of you.”

“Just fuckin check, Tech.”

In the background, you could hear Tommy snickering to himself. You heard some rustling before Techno started laughing, “Dad, we left (y/n) at the rest stop.”

“YEAH YA FUCKIN DID!” 

You could hear loud laughter from your brothers and muffled cursing from Phil. You heard Kristin tell Techno to hand her the phone. 

“We’re so sorry, we’re turning around right now. We’ll be there in about five minutes. Stay in one place and don’t talk to strangers.”

“I dunno Mom, that trucker looks really friendly. Might do some hitch hiking with him.”

You ended up befriending an old lady when she sat next to you on the bench with her husband. She even gave you some butterscotch and those strawberry hard candies that all older people somehow have but you can never find in stores. Her husband was telling you stories about his younger days when you saw the familiar van pull into the parking lot. Waving goodbye, you thanked them and hopped back into the car. 

After profuse apologizing from your family and scolding Tommy for tricking them, you were on the road again. You glared at Tommy with a small smile on your face, “you fuckin prick. Did you seriously make it look like I was sleeping under a blanket?”

“Yeah, I told you that I wouldn’t tell them if we forgot you.”

“You fuckin dick,” you grabbed a few butterscotches and strawberry candies and handed some to Tubbo after ensuring your parents weren’t looking. He took them gratefully and quickly. You heard him whisper a ‘thank you’ and opened them with plastic crinkling. 

“Wha- are those butterscotches? Gimme some.” He was about to snatch them out of your hands before you moved away from him. “No, you left me at the rest stop. You don’t get any. Do you guys want some? I’ve got butterscotches and strawberry candies.”

After you handed them out to your family, Phil looked at you confused in the rearview mirror, “(y/n), where’d you get these?”

“Oh, I just made some friends with an old couple while I was waiting.”

“You what? What if they kidnapped you?”

“Naw they couldn’t’ve. Ethel has hip problems and Charles was in a wheelchair. They were chill anyway.”

“...Just- just don’t do that again.” “Well don’t forget me again at a rest stop three hours away from home and you got yourself a deal.” 

After a while the family was chill again and everything was back to normal

It was getting closer and closer to when Tubbo would make his reveal

You three agreed that Tubbo would just wait for the perfect time 

That time came about three hours later when Phil and Kristin was asking everybody where they should stop for food

“So kids, we have three options: McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Arby’s. What do you want?”

“Wendy’s is obviously the superior choice.” Tommy proclaimed and you nodded in agreement. You leaned back and whispered to Tubbo, “now would be a great time.” You pulled out your phone to discreetly record the front seat. 

“No it isn’t. Arby’s is you heathens.” Wilbur chimed in, glancing at his twin for back up. Techno shrugged, “I’m fine with anything as long as it’s edible.”

“I’m more of a fan of Wendy’s myself!” Tubbo’s muffled voice chimed in from his makeshift hut in the trunk. You snickered as Kristin whipped her head around to look at the back seat and Phil’s eyes snapping up to look at you through the rearview mirror. 

“...Tubbo?”

“Hi Mrs. Tommy and (y/n)’s mum!” You flipped the camera around just in time to catch Tubbo poking his head out of the blanket and grin sheepishly at them. You panned over to Tommy’s ruby red face as he was holding in his laughter before flipping it back to the front. 

“You absolute gremlins, this is what you’ve been hiding?” Phil scolded you and Tommy, his knuckles whitening from gripping the steering wheel. You could see his shoulders bouncing slightly with a slight strain in his voice from holding in chuckles. 

“Honey, have you been in the trunk this entire time?” 

“Yeah, but it’s quite comfy back here! Tommy and (y/n) gave me pillows and some snacks. Got some stretching done at the rest stop.”

“You’ve been back there for six hours?” Phil’s incredulous voice asked. 

“Yep! Don’t worry, I had a lot of room. Anyways, my vote goes to Wendy’s.”

The car was quiet before Kristin started to laugh, “Wendy’s it is. See Phil, I told you it was gonna be a pleasant surprise!”

Tubbo sat between you and Tommy in the backseat for the rest of the trip 

Techno and Wilbur saying that they knew Tubbo was back there but left out the blackmail part

There was no way they’d risk losing their little siblings doing their chores for them for a few weeks

At the hotel, the rooming was the same as the seating in the car

You, Tommy, and Tubbo having the time of your lives alone in your hotel room

Jumping on the beds, checking for hidden cameras and double sided mirrors (well, that doesn’t sound fun, but you had fun doing it), truth or dare, racing each other down the halls at night time, the works

B L A N K E T  F O R T S (but always cleaning up the hotel room in the mornings bc yall are respectful to the staff)

Getting plenty of videos of you guys ding dong ditching Techno and Wilbur’s room

Them getting tired of it so they tell Dadza and Momza and they tell you to stop : (

Walking around aimlessly around the hotel hallways with Wilbur and Techno

Going up and down elevators aimlessly 

Pulling an all nighter with Tommy and Tubbo on the last day

Philosophical late night talks when yall hardly know what you’re saying anymore (and becoming closer than ever before)

“Tommy, Tubbo?” You three were currently sitting on the balcony chairs looking out at the empty parking lot and the occasional cars driving by. It was about three in the morning and you guys were determined to stay up all night. “If you think about it, a hotdog is puréed meat in an intestine casing. When we eat the hotdogs, we turn it back into puréed meat. It eventually goes through your intestines which makes you the hotdog for a solid couple of hours.”

“...What the fuck, (y/n).”

“No no, they’ve got a point. Don’t you understand, Tommy? We are hotdogs.”

“...I’m starting to think you guys need sleep. Speakin nonsense.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you two reckon we’re alone in the universe?”

“What do you mean, Tubbo?” You glanced at the male next to you and raised an eyebrow. He was looking up at the stars with furrowed brows. 

“Like, do you guys think there’s life out there. Looking down at us right now wondering the same thing.” 

You hummed and looked up at the stars. They were twinkling down at you with the occasional shooting star blazing by. Red lights from far off satellites being the only visible sign of humans in the dark expanse of space. “I think so. I mean, nobody knows how big the universe is. You never really know.”

“Honestly I don’t know what’s scarier, being the only lifeforms and being completely alone or having things out there that we don’t know about.” 

You sling an arm over your twin’s shoulders, “that doesn’t matter. As long as we have each other, we’ll never be alone. We’ll face whatever the universe has in store for us together.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know, I just hate it when people only see me as the loud annoying one. It really gets to me sometimes and I don’t know what I should do about it. Fuck, even Wil and Tech see me like that.”

“Toms, fuck them. They don’t know you like we do. You’re caring, ambitious, and brave.” 

“Yeah, don’t listen to what they say. We’ll prove them wrong when we form our own nation one day.”

Tommy’s sullen expression slowly melted into a smile, “yeah, I’d like that. You’d be the president.”

Tubbo grinned back at Tommy, “and you’ll be my trusty vice president and (y/n)’ll be our Secretary of State. We’ll rule together.”

“Our nation would be a place for people to escape tyranny and injustice. Somewhere where men could live free, you two would be amazing leaders.”

“What do we call it though is the question,” Tubbo hummed in thought.

“How about ‘Manberg’?”

You looked at your twin with half lidded, exhausted eyes, “I like it, but it needs more… pizazz. How about L’manberg?”

You watched as he smiled widely at the stars, “it’s perfect.”

Watching the sunrise together on the balcony wrapped in blankets

Sleeping on the rest of the way back home

Best sleep of your life

When you wake up (about an hour or so away from home), you see that there’s blankets over you three and you had your head on Tubbo’s shoulder, Tubbo had his leaned up against the seat behind him, and Tommy’s cheek was squished against the window

You stretch out your limbs a bit trying not to disturb the two beside you

Checking your phone to see pictures of you three sleeping sent into the family group chat with Kristin replying with a bunch of heart emojis

You send the videos and pictures you took along the way of you, Tommy, and Tubbo doing stupid things in the hotel room and in the car

If you looked in the middle row, you could see Wilbur watching the scenery pass by out the window with his earbuds in

Techno is reading one of his books (you have no idea how he doesn’t get car sick)

Phil and Kristin are talking lowly to each other holding hands on the center counsel 

Soft radio music is playing in the background

Life is good

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[anonquack]

| Chef Q |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot, Requested by: @anotherdreamsimp !!

Word Count: 3328

Warnings: Some curse words, mainly just some fluff !

Summary: Quackity hasn't been streaming recently, and decides to come back with a cooking stream. Featuring you as a special guest.

Lately, Quackity had been studying like crazy for his final exams. That meant no streaming. He'd take a break from it to focus entirely on his studies. Absolutely nothing else.

He claimed to have his priorities straight, and had the goal to pass all exams with high scores in order to keep his grades looking wonderful.

This also meant there was rarely any time spent between you two, beside the occasional snack breaks you forced him to take so he wouldn't die at his desk.

It was tough not being able to show him a random video you'd found on the timeline, or walking up to chat with him whenever you wanted, but you knew this was very important to him. So you gladly supported him and offered as much support as possible.

Thankfully, all of his studying paid off and he passed with flying colors. A teacher had even informed him that he'd received the top score for one of his final exams.

You were the first person to hear the news, and you couldn't help but feel the adoration coursing through your body at how excited he was to tell you. Jumping up and down and shaking you lightly as he told you about his scores.

You'd offered to take him out for a celebratory meal, to treat him for all his hard work and also since you missed the fun outings with him. There was no way he was saying no to that.

—

After a day out and about, you two had made your way back home. Both of you were pleasantly full, having enjoyed the meal and also dessert. His request, for "doing so well on his finals." How could you possibly deny him that?

You both were also very content, a warmth and comfort surrounding the air around you two the entirety of the outing.

One thing that was impossible not to notice was how he'd become exceptionally clingy as soon as you two were out of the car. Gripping onto your hand tightly as you singlehandedly unlocked the front door.

"I've missed you so much these past few days." He murmered as you finally got the door to open and pulled him inside.

"I've missed you too." You hummed softly. It was always nice hearing him say these things. You locked the front door, and gently pulled at his hand to lead him back to your room.

It didn't take much of a pull for him to willingly follow you. "Can we cuddle or something?" He asked softly, almost as if he was a bit embarrassed to ask. You turned to him and gave him a grin, along with a small nod.

You'd missed him, even if you two had been in the same apartment this whole time. You'd especially been missing cuddles with him, considering he studied pretty much all day. There wasn't enough time being shared together so you gladly agreed to some cuddling.

Sooner than later, you two found yourselves in your pajamas, laying in bed peacefully as you scrolled through tiktok, screen tilted in order for him to see as well. It really was so nice finally being able to be this close to him again.

After some time, you found yourself looking through tweets on the timeline. A certain one caught his attention and he asked you to stop scrolling.

It was a tweet from a fan, saying they missed Quackity since he hadn't streamed in two weeks, but that overall they hoped his tests were going fine.

"Has it really been 2 weeks?" He asked aloud as he clicked on it and looked through the replies, all agreeing with the original tweet.

"Mm.. two and a half, I think." You answered, looking at him curiously as a guilty expression appeared on his face.

"Hey." You called out once you saw the expression wasn't leaving. He turned to you with a small frown.

"It's fine. You had a good reason for being gone so long. I'm sure they understand. Plus, you'll be back soon, right?" You asked, to which he nodded before sitting up from the cuddling position you two were in.

You sat up as well, noticing how his eyes widened slightly, and a small smile made its way onto his face.

"I just got a great idea." He exclaimed. "Y'know, I was going to just spend the next few days with you since I missed you but– how about we stream something together? That way I can enjoy both, and the fans get a stream too."

You stared at him in surprise. The fans did know he was dating someone, but you rarely ever came out on streams, not because he didn't want you to but because you didn't deem it to be necessary.

The few times you had been on, you'd received tons of love and support from the chat, so you didn't think anything too bad would happen if you were to appear on his stream again.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked curiously. The other times you'd been on were him playing horror games and an extremely scuffed IRL stream.

"Well.. I haven't done a cooking stream in a while." He began, but you quickly shook your head.

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're going to make us eat some monstrosity‐ like your past cooking streams." You visibly shuddered at the thought. You remember having to help clean up the mess after. And no matter how funny it had been, the actual cleanup was awful.

"No no– I was thinking maybe we do a serious one, y'know? Chat hasn't really been able to see my cooking abilities, and well.. I'd say I am pretty good at it." He grinned. He was unfortunately right.

You relaxed at the mention of it being a 'serious' cooking stream. It could never really be too serious when it came to Quackity, but it meant not eating dog food or poorly made pizza. You were in.

"So we'll make an actual.. edible.. meal?" You questioned again, just to be sure. To which he nodded.

"Yeah, and we can enjoy that meal after. Like a date. What do you say?" He was beaming. It was his creativity rolling in. And he was probably so proud of himself for finding a way to spend time with you yet also give chat the stream content they'd been missing out on.

"Alright. I'm in."

You hadn't seen him this eager to get out of bed and head to the grocery store ever before. Chat was really in for a fun stream tomorrow.

—

He'd tweeted it out several hours before you two planned on starting the stream that he'd be streaming today with a special guest, and that he had his chef hat ready to go.

As you scrolled through Twitter you could see the timeline freaking out over 'COOKING STREAM' and 'SPECIAL GUEST'. Lots of discussion over who it was.

You couldn't help but feel a bit bad since the fans were probably speculating that he'd met up with his online friends, but in reality it was just you. In that case, you'd try your best to make this a fun stream, and your presence an enjoyable one.

As the time for the stream to start got closer, you helped him set the ingredients you'd be using onto the table, in a way where it was in perfect view for the stream to see and follow along if they wished.

"We're supposed to start in 5." You called out as he slipped his beanie on, fixing the few hair strands that were sticking out a bit too much.

He smiled and made his way over to you, cupping your face and giving you a small kiss. "I'm so excited to do some cooking with you. They're all going to love you."

You couldn't help the warm feeling that spread over your chest at his words. It was like introducing you all over again. He'd recently gained a lot of new followers, and that meant they probably had no idea who you were. Always fun going through that again.

He dealt with some last minute editing and placing, checking all ingredients were there and that everything was set, before hitting the 'Go Live' button.

It didn't take long for the viewers to increase after the tweet notification went out, and the starting soon screen was the only thing really protecting you two from the roaring chat.

Everyone was dying to know what was going on, who the special guest was, and whether this would be yet another scuffed cooking stream.

You stood behind the camera as the starting soon screen finally disappeared and he began greeting the viewers, thanking all the subs coming in, and eventually also giving them a little update on how he'd done on his exams.

You felt so proud as you watched him boast about how his studying had paid off, and how he talked about being the happiest he'd been in a while. He deserved all of it. And chat thought so too.

After some rambling about his test scores and what they'd be cooking today, chat finally became too impatient and asked for a reveal of the special guest.

"Fine. Fine. Since you guys are so fucking impatient." He huffed, watching as chat flew by, telling him to 'get on with it' and to 'TELL US WHO IT IS'. You couldn't help but laugh at the relationship he had with his chat. Always bullying each other but usually knowing when to stop and send love.

"I've actually had them on multiple other streams, not so much recently.. but they've been on my horror streams.. some IRL streams.. and they are really really special to me, chat!" He said with a big smile. Some of chat was confused as to who he was referring to, while older fans began to question if it was YOU. They were very smart.

"Some of the viewers might not know of them, so this is like I'm introducing them to chat all over again! Come over here." He finally directed the last part at you. You couldn't help but feel the sudden spike in anxiety, but chose to ignore it as you smiled back at him and headed into the frame beside him.

With a small wave and a greeting, you watched as chat completely broke. A mess of question marks and your name being spread in chat. You couldn't help but laugh. It was an overwhelmingly positive reaction as Quackity explained to new viewers that you were his partner, and that older fans were already aware of this for a while now.

The amount of 'y/n our beloved' and people asking if quackity's partner was single were abundant in chat, and you couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking the newer viewers would hate you or something.

Having the approval of Quackity's chat also made you feel lighter, it made it easier to let go and just enjoy the cooking stream.

You two began to explain what you'd be cooking to chat, and you made it very clear that he actually had to try and cook this time, to which chat agreed wholeheartedly.

He'd taken a recipe from his mom for one of his favorite meals, one he hadn't had in a while. He explained to chat that he wanted to see how well you and him could recreate it until you two took a trip to visit his family.

"Hopefully we don't disappoint her too much." You mumbled as he placed the chef hat onto your head, fixing it so you looked presentable.

"She can't be because we're actually gonna try." He stated before beginning to explain to chat what the meal was since many of them might not have even heard of it before. As he did that, you began to set aside the ingredients you wouldn't be needing until later.

After everything had been explained, it was time to get cooking. His concentration to try and recreate his mom's recipe was adorable, and chat agreed on that too.

This stream wasn't loud and messy like the others, but it was still enjoyable in its own way. Quackity was radiating such wonderful light and energy, cracking jokes and genuinely enjoying himself. It was all thanks to the stress and worries being lifted off his back. You really enjoyed seeing him like this.

Chat was able to follow along later if they wanted with how organized you guys were being, but the banter he had with you and chat made it entertaining to any casual viewer. He always found a way to make it fun.

Not only that, but chat was able to see a new side of him. The Chef Q side. More often than not, a message would roll in saying they were amazed by how good Quackity actually was at cooking. You could already imagine some of the edits that'd come out of the stream.

His mom had told you two beforehand how long it would normally take to cook this meal, and it was perfect for a usual stream and some extras where you two would actually get to try the food.

There was moments where chat was warning you two that the food would burn or that he'd accidentally set the kitchen on fire, but overall you were enjoying yourself so much.

And chat was enjoying your presence too!

By the time you two managed to finish the meal, you both plopped down onto the chairs he'd set for the supposed 'breaks'.

He had some of the sauce on his cheek and his apron, but still managed to look good. He'd also smeared sauce onto your cheek, and at this point some strands were sticking out of your hat in such a messy way since the last few minutes had been rather hectic, food almost burning and all.

"Chat. We did it." He called out before cheering loudly and clapping his hands, to which you swiftly followed along, chat beginning to cheer as well.

"I think its only right that we try what we made, don't you think?" You ask, to which chat quickly types YES in all caps, wanting to see the finished product and also find out if it even tastes good.

Quackity let out a chuckle as he smiled over at you. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. We haven't even seen it so it might just be black. Burnt to a crisp. Or what if it tastes like shit? Y/N i don't know what I'm going to do if the food tastes like shit. Thats what we're supposed to eat on our date." He whined a bit.

You shook your head, "It'll be great. And if not, we can just order takeout. It'll be fine big q." You smiled reassuringly. Chat became a frenzy of calling him cute for the state he was in, declaring their love for how supportive and kind you were, and melting over your relationship.

Before you knew it, you were both revealing the meal to chat, and pleasantly surprised by the results. The presentation of the meal itself looked really good. It looked like what you'd expect from such a plate. Quackity had even gone as far as saying it looked similar to how his mom made it.

You gasped, smiling in surprise at him. "Really? Did we really do that good of a job." His face turned into one of regret, and a long segment of silence engulfed you two before he nodded hesitantly. You both broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Okay okay, seriously. Chat's waiting for you to try it." You placed a fork in front of him, earning a loud scoff from him.

"They want to see you try it as well." He mirrored your actions and you gladly took the fork.

"Alright. First bite. Let's see if all our hard work paid off! Chat, are you ready?" You grinned and watched as the 'YES's started rolling in, some viewers telling you both to get the fuck on with it, and others gushing about how the food actually looked good. You could only hope.

You watched as he began to dig in, mouth full and chewing slowly, truly trying to savor the first bite. You did the same, and the stream was silent for the first time in a while. Chat was in suspense as well, question marks and incoherent rambling rolling through the chat.

"Chat..." he finally spoke after swallowing his bite. "Chat. It's." He paused before showing a small smile. "It's not bad at all. I like it. It's good."

You nodded your head in agreement, "It's nowhere near as good as the ones your mom makes.. but I think you and I make a pretty good team."

"I think so too. And not just for cooking." He grinned, earning himself a playful eye roll and shy smile from you.

The stream proceeded to you two feeding each other bites of the meal, asking each other if it was good, and just enjoying yourselves for a bit longer before Quackity deemed it was time to end.

"Chat !! Thank you so much for tuning in and watching this.. actually coordinated cooking stream. I had so much fun and well, I ate yummy food. I'm happy." He laughed, thanking a few more gifters before doing his signature Bye, and ending stream.

He hurried over to your side, pulling you into a hug. "Thank you so much. I truly had fun. And they definitely loved you, but not nearly as much as I do."

You chuckled at his words, giving him a small kiss before cupping his face. "I had a lot of fun too. Thank you for always being so nice to me." You paused, observing how cute he looked with his chef hat still on. "I think I like Chef Alex." You reached over and fixed his hat a bit.

"Yeah? Should I keep it on?" He teased, coming a bit closer. You couldn't help the warmth that spread over your cheeks at how blunt he was.

"Yes, but you need to help me clean this up. Maybe after we finish the food, hm? C'mon. Don't think I forgot our deal."

He whined, already feeling too lazy, but he quickly followed after you as you two sat down to actually eat. Still wearing the silly attire he'd bought for the stream, far too unbothered to change just yet.

Through a mouthful he asked, "Cuddles and a nap after we're done?"

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave a silent cheer. That was enough motivation to get you both up and cleaning after finishing the meal.

—

Wrapped in each other's arms again. He couldn't seem to get enough of it. You were once again scrolling through Twitter, this time scrolling through his indirects, wanting to see what people were saying about the stream.

He'd ask you to stop to read certain ones he found funny, and even 'aww'd at the ones he found cute, mainly those talking about how cute you two looked.

Surely enough, there was already edits using the clips of him cooking, and you'd openly admitted to him that he looked "so fucking good." To which he responded by cuddling closer, if even humanly possible.

Quackity found the numerous clips of you two feeding each other to be the best part of the tweets. You two rewatched, saved, liked as many as you could before he became tired.

And with that, he was pulling you close, and leaving small kisses anywhere he could on your face. Eventually, his chest slowly rose and fell as he entered a deep slumber. You smiled, glad to see he was finally getting the rest he deserved.

"Goodnight, Alex." You whispered, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before closing your eyes as well.

[luimagines]

He Accidentally Hurt You Pt. 1

Masterlist

Takes place while in the group, written as a platonic relationship.

this one got away from me entirely, so I had to split it up

Warrior

“I’m telling you, we need to head west!”

“And head straight into enemy territory? I don’t think so!”

“Wild’s right, Warrior. We can’t just sit around here and wait for them to come to us or the people of the town. We’re the only ones who can do something about it.” 

“Need I remind the both of you that we’re all tired as hell as well? We have no potions or healing items, our weapons haven’t been tended to in over a week because of the constant fighting and everyone has an injury in one way or another. We can’t afford to keep going at this rate. We’re lucky enough to have enough food as it is.”

You glanced at the W Trio. Wild, Wind and Warrior.

They’ve been going over the map and strategies for the past hour and it’s getting tiring. That normally would have fallen to Time and Twilight to talk to Warrior about it but they went ahead as the currently strongest of all to secure the perimeter.

It hasn’t been going great.

You sighed and stood up, making your way over to where they were.

Warrior was getting worked up and his gestures became more agitated and pronounced.

They needed to stop.

“Ok, guys, take five and a breather.” You started before your head snapped backwards.

The arguing stopped instantly.

“Oh for Din’s sake! Are you ok?.” Hands covered your own as you felt your face trying to pry them off to get a read on the damage done. “Oh course this has to happen.”

You took a step back and plugged your nose for good measure.

Wild and Wind both look tense and looked between the two of you, expecting something to blow up in their faces.

“Well that was unnecessary.” You spoke after a tense beat.

Warrior bit his lip, warring within himself to both step forward to comfort you and too afraid of pushing your boundaries more than he already has. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Does it hurt?”

“I’ll live if that’s what you’re asking me.” You raised an eyebrow. “I was going to say that you should all take a break and leave it for a while. Maybe take a nap and come back to it once Twilight and the Old Man can have a say. Because yeah, we’re all tired as hell. I don’t think you liked the idea though.”

Warrior had the decency to look ashamed. “That was unintentional.”

“Regardless, I think I’m bleeding.” You smirk. “You’ve got quite the arm Captain. Last time I checked, a backhanded slap was usually reserved for-”

“Please don’t make this any worse.”

You laughed.

Wind

“Wind! Get down from there!” You called up the tree.

Mr. Sticky Fingers had taken something important from you, not that he knew what it was and you didn’t plan on telling him it’s importance since it was mostly sentimental value but the kid turned it into a game instead.

“I’m not going to climb after you Pirate!”

“I guess it’s mine then!” He taunted back.

You glared at his smirking face and snapped your head to the group. “Excuse me Wild Child, care to lend a hand? You’re the best tree climber among us and I’d really like to get my item back.”

Wild looked up and spotted Wind in the tree. He shrugged and stood up, making his way over. “I can make that climb. Sure.”

“Uh oh.” Wind huddled into himself on the nearest branch before making a mad dash through the tree.

Wild followed closely and you stepped under the tree to get a better view of the chase. The multitude of branches and leave and twigs made it hard to see through and you didn’t see make the executive decision to jump down.

And it seemed as if he didn’t see you either. 

You both landed on the ground, a sickening crack following shortly. Your cry of surprise quickly turning into one of pain.

Wind jumped off of you as if you burned him but stayed close, handing your item back as if that would fix the problem.

The boys crowded you instantly. Hyrule led the charged followed by Twilight and Time. Warrior pulled Wind aside to give them room, Wild jumped down from the tree and Legend chose to stand closer to Hyrule to get a look over his shoulder. Four and Sky held back, concerned faces mirroring each other.

“I think you broke my arm.” You gritted through your teeth.

“I didn’t.... I didn’t mean-” Wind spoke up but bit his lip, cutting himself off. He knew there was no saving him.

“What on earth was so important that it had to come to this?” Time glared at the both of you. You would have felt a little more embarrassed because it was easily avoidable but at the same time, it was your dominant arm and now you struggled to sit up.

“Wind took an item of mine and refused to give it back. To keep me from getting it back, he climbed up a tree and I asked wild to help me out. The kid jumped on me and this happened. End of story.” Hyrule looked up at you questionably before snapping the bones back into place. A scream tore through your throat before you could stop it. “‘RULE! A little warning next time?!”

He grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. It’s better if you aren’t expecting it.”

“What’s so special about that item anyway, if you don’t mind me asking?” Sky came a little closer to rub comforting circles on your back. Hyrule took that as his cue to begin healing the injury properly. “Is it magic?”

Pain clouded your judgment slightly. “No, not exactly.”

“What is it then? It doesn’t look like anything special.” Legend gripped the tip of it and you pulled it closer to your chest, away from the others. “It’s defiantly not magic.”

“Not in the traditional sense.” You agreed. The pain was slowly fading away now, but with the quickening of the healing process, it looked worse than it did before. You turned your eyes away from the black and blue mess.

“It’s... the last gift my mother ever gave to me.” You admitted. “It’s a special kind of magic that only means something to me.”

“The sentimental kind.” Four smiled sadly.

You nodded in agreement. “But it’s not like it does anything. It’s only a token really. However... I’d rather die then let anything happen to it.”

The group stood around you silently, taking in the information.

“I’m sorry.” Wind stood before you. “I didn’t-”

You held your good hand up. “It’s not broken, I knew you would never try that and I got it back. I’m not even mad, just don’t do it again.”

He looked worse after your words, as if it was the worse news you could have told him. You knew the feeling. You felt like maybe it would help him feel better to get yelled at or something equivalent of a punishment but it wasn’t in your nature.

Once that mess was cleared up, he stayed to close to you but was unusually quiet.

You made it a point to make sure that he knew you were still on good terms by the end of the day.

Wild

“I wonder if theses are ok to eat.” You mutter to yourself. Poking at a berry bush that was near your camp, you heard (and felt) your stomach rumble. “Wild would probably know. Hyrule might know as well but....”

THWIP

Something was imbedded in your leg.

“OH MERCY ME!” You fell over, narrowly avoiding the berry thorn bush and looked down. “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY-  WHAT IN THE WORLD-!”

An arrow.

An arrow was just... sticking out of your leg.

Rustling came from the bushes beyond and out popped a twig and leaf covered head of hair. A scarred face came next that expressed confusion to immediate concern and shock. Wild jumped over the bush and made a mad dash to your side.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I thought you were an animal.” He crouched down by your side and hovered his hands around the offending object.

“Why on earth did you think I was an animal?” You nearly cursed him then and there. 

It hurt. It hurt and hurt and he wasn’t doing anything!

“I heard a growl.” He admitted, a bright blush on his face.

“No, that was me and my stomach. I’m hungry man! I was just checking if those berries were edible.” You growled and tried to move over but your leg wouldn’t cooperate without sending bouts of burning static up to your hip.

“That was a crap shot anyway. It wouldn’t have taken the animal down regardless.” Wild muttered to himself.

“Excuse you but I’m the one who was shot. Take it out!”

“Ok, ok, ok, hold on.” He placed a bracing hand on your leg and grip the arrow in the other. “Deep breath. Ready? One. Two.”

“OUCH! YOU SICK, TWISTED, SON OF A-”

“Here.” Wild handed you a potion. You recognized it as a healing item of his, even if the bottle was wrong and uncorked it, gulping it down with vigor.

“You owe me Champion.” You crossed your arms when you finished, handing the bottle back to him. 

“I’ll cook you something. Anything you want.” He nervously scratched the back of his head. “Those berries aren’t edible anyway.”

You blinked at him and the berries, not pouting at all. Your glare hardened at the plant. “I blame you.”

“The plant?”

“I just wanted to eat something!”

Legend

You couldn’t believe it.

There he was, sleeping in your bedroll.

You were tired as it was and didn’t have the energy to put up with it. Instead of anger though...It was mostly confusion.

Why was Legend asleep in your bed roll?

Was he really that tired that he just didn’t care? Probably. The nightmares were bad the night before and he was working nonstop the whole day.

You couldn’t fully blame him. He probably didn’t even notice.

Still.

You were exhausted as well and you refused to take his spot.

You walked over and shook his shoulder.

BAM

You stumbled backwards and eventually fell over, your hands covering your face. 

Legend sat up blearily and blinked for a solid minute before realizing his fist was still raised. 

“Legend!” You yelled at him. “What the heck man? You can’t punch to save your life!”

“What?”

“That’s my bedroll, dumb bell. I would like to sleep please.” You crossed your arms and stared him down. “Also, I’m telling Twilight you can’t punch for crap.”

Legend pushed himself up and looked beneath him. “Oh. Sorry. Wait. What about my punching?”

”You suck at it.”

He glared at you for a moment before taking a swing in your direction.

You dodged it easily and grinned. “Your form definitely needs work.”

“Shut up!”

Part 2

[carewyncromwell]

"I'm not here for your entertainment -- You don't really want to mess with me tonight! Just stop and take a second -- I was fine before you walked into my life! ‘Cause you know it's over before it began... Keep your drink -- just give me the money -- It's just you and your hand tonight!”

~“U + Ur Hand” by P!nk

x~x~x~x

Honeydukes was bustling one morning in the summer of 1990. Thanks to a recent collaboration with Florean Fortescue, Honeydukes had developed a fabulous new No-Melt Ice Cream, and it was selling out left, right, and center. Honeydukes’s owner, Ambrosius Flume, and his wife Jenie were so occupied with ringing up customers that they didn’t have much time for conversing and chatting as much as they would like. Perhaps this is why they didn’t take notice of the stocky eighteen-year-old young man with messy dark curls ducking through the crowds and making his way over to the slightly ajar door marked “employees only” at the back of the store -- nor of him peeking through so as to look at the storeroom and kitchen on the other side. 

Someone else did, though. And that “someone” was Ambrosius’s second daughter and Honeydukes’s resident chocolatier, Mia. 

She had been amiably chatting and laughing with a friend who’d popped in for a visit by the door when she noticed him -- and upon catching sight of him, her brows came down over her green eyes in suspicion.

Who...?

Quickly but politely putting an end to her conversation, the blond-haired young woman swept through the crowds with a bit more difficulty, trying to cut across the store. The strange young man was actively propping open the door now and looking around in wide-eyed curiosity --

“Hey!” Mia called ahead.

You’re not allowed in there! she was ready to add, but before she could properly verbalize it, she was suddenly inhaled by a crowd of about twenty people, all of whom had rushed to form a messy line up to the counter to get their own cone of No-Melt Ice Cream. Once Mia had dislodged herself, the young man was gone.

Her heart leaping into her throat in both anxiety and righteous anger, Mia forcibly pushed through the crowd with some very pointed “excuse me’s” until she finally reached the other side of the room. She slammed open the “employees only” door, her posture very authoritative and her voice very sharp as she barked,

“What are you doing in here?”

The young man looked up, startled. And when their eyes met, sharp green on hollowed-out, almond-shaped blue, Mia abruptly straightened up, her entire posture tensing up like a cat with its fur on end. 

That face -- 

It couldn’t be, could it? After so many years...and looking just the same -- like something out of an old photograph -- 

Yet it was. And that face contorted with perfectly innocent surprise before bursting into a brilliant, boyish smile.

“Oh, whoops! Guess I sort of strutted in without being invited, eh?” he said with a laugh. “Sorry -- I was just looking to talk to whomever was making the ice cream...reckon they must be out to lunch or something...”

He indicated the small cauldron, cans of ingredients, and multiple mixing bowls set up on the counter. 

“I at first presumed the ‘No-Melt’ aspect had to be thanks to an old-fashioned Freezing Charm,” he prattled on, seemingly completely oblivious to Mia’s shocked, bewildered expression. “But then I realized no, if it was, you’d probably freeze it solid, or at the very least, you’d lose some of that texture. You’d undoubtedly see evidence of ice chips in the finished product, which you can’t -- it’s really quite smooth, from what I can see, like a proper soft-serve should be. I considered that perhaps one could Transfigure the ice cream, so as to imbue it with the proper qualities...but then I saw the miniature cauldron in here, and I realized -- of course! Potioneering would be a perfect solution, to such a problem. Why, what are potions if not magical chemistry -- and what’s cooking if not edible chemistry?”

His skull-like blue eyes were alight with eagerness. 

“Would your Potioneer be available later, to discuss this further?” he said brightly. “I’d love to hear more about their methods -- ”

It was at this point that -- at long last -- Mia had collected herself enough to lash out. 

“Get -- out,” she cut in very fiercely. 

She pulled out her wand, fully prepared to grab the curly-haired man with a proper Incarcerous and yank him right out of the backroom. Before her spell could land, though, the young man had sidestepped it, making it instead grab at one of the glass jars, which was then flung forward and smashed to the floor. Mia tried again, chucking several more spells to bind, disarm, and Stun him, all of which he seemingly just as effortlessly blocked. 

“Oi!” said the man, taken aback. “Take it easy -- ”

Mia got so impatient that she actually reached out as if to grab the younger man and throw him out with her own hands. 

“I said get out!”

But somehow, the man ducked her arms, coming out from under her and straightening up with the kind of baffled expression one might see on a dog being commanded to do a trick he didn’t know. 

“Whoa, sunshine, cool your jets!” he said with a bewildered smile. “I’m not gonna hurt you or anything -- ”

“Don’t patronize me!” 

Mia lashed out with several more spells, which -- to her utter frustration -- he all just as effortlessly blocked. 

“You are trespassing in my father’s store, in my kitchen -- an area where you’re objectively not allowed -- trying to sniff out secret information about products that are the sole property of my family’s business! I don’t give a damn about whether you plan to hurt anyone or not -- you are getting the HELL out of here, right now, or I’m calling the bloody Auror Department on you, Jacob Cromwell!”

Once he’d finished wordlessly transfiguring the ropes she’d conjured into ribbons with an idle flick of his wrist, Jacob straightened up slightly, interested. 

“You know me?” he asked, his face still touched by that maddening kind of innocent, boyish curiosity. 

“Of course I know you,” Mia said coldly. “We were in the same bloody class -- at least until you up and vanished, dealing with those stupid Vaults...”

Jacob blinked. “Really?”

Mia raised her eyebrows coolly. “Should I be flattered that you don’t recognize me? Maybe this might help -- Dueling Club, fifth year? You used Ferula to wrap me up in bandages like a mummy and threw me backward right into a suit of armor.” 

Jacob considered this story and the cursive “Hermia” nametag pinned to the front of Mia’s apron for a moment. Then his eyes drifted up toward the ceiling absently.

“...Huh. I don’t really remember that...”

Mia looked like she wanted to crack Jacob’s head open on her kitchen counter. She settled for trying to grab his shoulder -- this time, she actually managed to make contact, since because Jacob hadn’t been looking at her.

“Well, I do -- ”

She used the grip to yank Jacob roughly back toward the door and throw him out of the backroom. 

“-- and I don’t want to see you anywhere near my family’s shop again,” she spat. “Do I make myself clear?”

Jacob looked incredibly confused, to the point of almost looking remorseful. 

“What? Oh, come on...” 

He struggled to articulate his thoughts for a minute, before offering a weak smile. 

“Look -- I’m sorry for not remembering you and all, and I know my reputation isn’t all that great...I’m still trying to set my life right, after everything,” he added as a mumble, “but well, I wasn’t looking to steal your family’s secrets or whatever. I just heard about your new ice cream and thought it sounded really cool, so I wanted to know how it worked -- ”

Mia’s expression grew a bit darker, gaining a more cynical smile. 

“Oh, sure -- that’s your excuse for everything, isn’t it? You just wanna know. It doesn’t matter what rules you break, or what anyone else says, you just gotta know, and that’s all that matters...well, guess what, Cromwell -- you can’t know this. And you’re not going to.”

Jacob frowned. “Why? Because I beat you in a duel when we were kids?”

“Because I’m not going to reward you for sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong!” Mia snapped back. 

She got right up in his face. It wasn’t hard to do -- Jacob Cromwell hadn’t grown taller than 5′7″, and Mia herself had always been slightly above average height.

“I figured it out all on my own, Cromwell,” she hissed at him coldly. “Maybe you could too, if you actually put in the work, instead of just dancing through without even trying.”

With this, Mia brought her hands up as if to shove Jacob back. Before she could reach him, though, Jacob stepped back instantly, avoiding her touch all together.

“You don’t have to slam the door in my face,” he said, raising his eyebrows coolly. “If you want me to leave, you could just say so.”

Mia’s face flushed bright red in frustration. She couldn’t keep herself from baring her teeth like an angry dog. 

“I’ve already told you to get out twice,” she said at last, once she’d reestablished a grip on her temper. 

Jacob shrugged. “Guess you did, yeah. I’d kind of been hoping to calm you down at the time, but...”

Tucking his wand back in his pocket with a sigh, he turned on his heel as if to go.

“Oh well...guess I never have been as good as my Pip, when it comes to dealing with people’s emotions. Nice meeting you again, I guess!”

With an offhand little wave over his shoulder, Jacob disappeared back into the throng of customers. 

Mia felt like steam was coming up off her head as she watched him go, her green eyes boring like daggers into his back. She felt like that steam surely must’ve been visible, when her mother Jenie came up alongside her and took hold of her shoulder. 

“Mia dear, there you are,” she said in a rather fussy, but still fond kind of voice. “Cornelius Fudge’s nephew’s here, to sample your newest chocolate -- quite a handsome lad, I must say...”

The older woman noticed Mia’s laser-pointed focus, though, and upon following it, she just barely made out the silhouette of Jacob Cromwell taking one last look around Honeydukes before giving a small sigh and heading out.

“Is that Rosmerta’s new bartender?” said Mrs. Flume, her eyebrows raised.

Mia looked at her mother, scandalized. “Bartender?”

“Yes -- apparently he’s working at the Three Broomsticks to pay his living expenses, until he can sit for his NEWTs up at the school next spring. Suppose once he does that, he might be able to get a better paying job...I gather from Rosmerta the lad’s a bright sort -- ”

“Doubtful,” Mia said scornfully. “Jacob Cromwell may be bright, but he’s also completely insufferable. I think it’d be a wonder if any employer in the world could tolerate him.”

Mrs. Flume blinked twice very quickly. “Jacob Cromwell? You mean that boy who disappeared without a word in your sixth year, while chasing Hogwarts’s Cursed Vaults? Well now, that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while...”

“And hopefully we never will again,” Mia said with a very dry smile. 

She swept over behind the counter so she could slide out the empty tray of No-Melt Ice Cream sundaes out of the display case.

“I’d better get back to work,” she said, forcing a slightly more resilient smile on her face. “How are we doing on the mint chocolate chip?”

“Well enough for now,” said Mrs. Flume distractedly, “but...oh, can’t you put that down for a moment, dear? I was really hoping to introduce you to Minister Fudge’s nephew. He’s newly 28, so he’s only a couple of years older than you...certainly more in your age range than Florean Fortescue -- ”

“Mum, the shop needs more stock,” Mia said very coolly. “I’m afraid my dating life will have to wait.”

“But your dating life could help the business!” Mrs. Flume said eagerly. “Why, think of how much business Dirk’s helped drum up for us, since marrying your sister...just think of how much money we could bring in, if you joined the Minister’s family! Even the name sort of fits, doesn’t it? Hermia Fudge?”

Mia couldn’t bite back a loud laugh. “Mum! I’m not marrying a bloke for his last name! I’ll marry him for his good looks and charm, regret it immediately, and then divorce him, like normal women do.”

Her mouth spread into a cheeky, sarcastic smile, she retreated into the backroom before her mother could raise any further objections. 

Mia set down the tray at the side of the counter, before rolling up her sleeve and brushing off her apron.

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands together as she considered the ingredients she’d put down, “round two.”

With a slightly sunnier expression, Mia set about mixing the whole milk, condensed milk, cream, sugar, salt, eggs, cocoa powder, semisweet chocolate, and vanilla together in the bowl, a song grazing her lips absently as she did so.

“Dah dop, dah dum -- hang up the phone To let me know you made it home... Da da da-la-da...with Part-Time Lover...”

The funky Muggle tune -- and the ease with which Mia could groove along to it while mixing the ingredients in her mixing bowl and her cauldron -- made it a little easier to put the absolutely infuriating revelation of Jacob Cromwell’s return to her life out of her mind...at least for a little while. 

[jayeray-hq]

Is Ushijima Wakatoshi a Domestic Deity? Or Dud?

Post Time Skip/Manga Ending Spoilers!

Warnings: none all fluff

Choose your own ending platonic or romantic!

Domestic Diety? or Dud? Masterlist — Character Masterlist

Can He Cook?

“Wakatoshi, what on earth?” you asked doing your best to hold in your giggles.

Your stoic boyfriend was standing in the kitchen, spatula in one hand, chopsticks in the other, with an incredibly concentrated look on his face. It was a look normally reserved for his opponents across the volleyball net, but while that was funny on its own, what nearly had you in stitches trying to hold the laughter in, was the apron he was wearing.

It was frilly, cute, and just a bit too small with the words “househusband in training” printed boldly across the chest.

“Tendou told me it is common for partners to express their affection by making a home cooked meal for them,” Ushijima told you, the words immediately making you want to melt, at how utterly sweet it was.

Your poor boyfriend didn’t have the most social intelligence, he tended to flounder when it came to doing or saying the right thing when it came to people. This was especially true in your relationship, which you honestly put down to the slightly disturbing dynamic between his parents, who both loved him unconditionally but resented each other.

However, no matter what he did, he did it with the utmost sincerity, which you couldn’t help but find incredibly endearing. And you’d never say no to a home cooked meal.

“I appreciate it Wakatoshi, thank you,” you told him sincerely, walking up to hug him around the waist.

“I’m glad I can show you my appreciation this way,” he told you, folding you into a warm hug, the kind never failed to make you feel safe and utterly adored, “I will endeavor to cook more often if you like.”

“Only if you feel like it Toshi,” you assured him, “Because you make me feel plenty loved.”

He nodded seriously, gave you one last squeeze and turned back to the meal, checking to make sure it was cooking well. The good that night was pretty good, a few pieces were burnt here and there, but it was all edible, and to you it tasted amazing because it was an expression of how very much your boyfriend cared for you. Though you did have to stop and ask, “Where did you get the apron Toshi?”

“Tendou sent it to me, he said it would aid in my cooking abilities,” Ushijima told you seriously, “I do not know if it helped or not, and I’m not sure what a househusband is but it kept my shirt clean at least.”

You nodded and made a mental note to call Tendou later to scold him for not explaining the joke to your poor boyfriend even if the apron was very cute, and to thank him for the suggestion of the date then settled in to enjoy the meal, and the time with your very sweet boyfriend.

6/10 He Can Cook passably, nothing too special but enough to get by, and he does it out of love!

Can He Clean?

You glanced around the quiet apartment and let out a sigh of amused resignation. You’d come over because you wanted to see your boyfriend when he got home. Ushijima had, had a training camp in Europe, and had been gone for a couple of weeks. While he was very good at keeping in touch, calling you every evening at nine pm on the dot, which was something ridiculous like 6 am for him, you’d been dying to see him in person. There really wasn’t anything quite like being held by your strong, enormous boyfriend.

Thus you’d planned to surprise him by being at his apartment when he got home today, using the key he’d given you a few months ago. You’d even brought ingredients so you could cook him his favorite Hayashi rice. Unfortunately cooking was going to have to wait a while.

It was very clear your boyfriend had left in a hurry. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink, a full trashcan, and a quick glance in his bedroom showed dirty clothes flung around haphazardly, and there were definite hairs in the sink in the bathroom from shaving before he left.

It honestly wasn’t too surprising. Your boyfriend had actually grown up with a bit of a silver spoon in his mouth. His family was incredibly wealthy and actually had maids who took care of little messes like the ones he tended to leave. Usually he was pretty good about picking up after himself, so it wasn’t quite so bad, but apparently, he’d been having an off day when he left for Europe.

Deciding the last thing he needed to deal with when he got home was a messy apartment you immediately rolled up your sleeves and got to work. It didn’t take too long, just an hour or so to get the dish washer and laundry machine going, along with wiping down a few surfaces. However it did put you a bit behind schedule with your cooking, which meant it wasn’t quite ready when the door slid open and your boyfriend arrived home at last.

He blinked, clearly startled at the sight of you in his apartment, wearing his ‘househusband in training’ apron, but the startled expression melted pretty quickly into pleasure a small but utterly sincere smile turning his lips upwards.

“I’m home,” he told you, as you bounded over to him, practically flinging yourself into his open arms.

“Welcome home,” you returned brightly, “How was your trip?”

“It was very productive,” he told you sincerely as he glanced around the room, a slight frown on his face as he bluntly asked, “Did you clean my apartment?”

“I did,” you admitted, calmly.

“You did not need to do that,” he told you, with a frown that others might think meant he was angry with you, but you knew meant he was concerned and a bit worried, “It was unnecessary. I would have cleaned it for you.”

“I know,” you assured him with an affectionate smile, pressing a fond kiss to the underside of his jaw, “But I wanted to do it for you this once. Think of it as a welcome home present from me to you.”

“Thank you,” he immediately responded, deeply sincere and as endearingly grateful as ever for any gift you gave him, “Though I will endeavor to be cleaner when I leave next time.”

You simply laughed at that, acknowledging his point, feeling incredibly soft for your sweet boyfriend, who may not be the cleanest, but who was almost certainly the most sincere and endearing man you’d ever met.

7/10 He’s got the occasional mess here and there, but for the most part he’s fairly clean and will absolutely fix his mess if you ask him to!

Average Score?

6.5/10 Ushijima is just above average at cooking and cleaning so he’s not a dud, but he’s not a deity either! Not that it matters to him, so long as he can continue to be a deity on the volleyball court!

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[kpop-hive]

Sucking Off NCT 127 During a Vlive

(a/n): I didn’t expect this to be this long 🙃

Enjoy Guys!!

Taeyong: You couldn’t help it, he just looked too good. You were so needy you did what you had to do, to get his attention, so while Taeyong was on live you did the unthinkable, you got under the table, and unzipped his pants, his worried face was very prominent along with his bulge you kept rubbing for the past five minutes. “Oh, no there’s nothing wrong, I’m just tired.” He tried to distract his fans from figuring out what was happening. As soon as he does that you take him into your mouth, sucking on his length expertly, he can’t fathom how good he feels, he tries to hide his sounds, so he just bites his lip really hard, but that doesn’t work, especially when you go down his length with your mouth. “Ahh.” Taeyong moans. “I just got a cramp you guys, I’m trying to rest my foot.” He suggests that he watches some videos of NCT, but nothing can distract how your mouth feels to him. You pull him out of your mouth just to suck on his tip, and he’s livid. “Mmmmm.” “This video is r-really interesting guys.” Close to the verge of cumming, he lets out a heavy breath, and he lets himself go as soon as you massage his balls. “Oh God!” Taeyong moans. Shocked he tries to cover it up. “That’s a horrible look on me isn’t it?” You get him through his orgasm to the point where he is heavy breathing. “Well guys, I love you all so much, but I have to go, I have to go eat dinner, but I’ll be back.” He ends the live right there. “I hope when you say “dinner,” you mean me right?” You ask. He smirks, “You’re the only edible thing here so...” You were in for a good time.

Taeil: “Taeil, please Can we do something?” I’m bored. “In a minute babe, I’m about to go live.” “Fine.” You walked off and chilled on the other side of the room, checking your phone while you listen to Taeil go live. Minutes go by, and you wonder when it’s gonna end, he’s been on live for over forty minutes. You were ready to leave, but then you thought of an idea when Taeil said this. “Yeah, it is hot, in Korea right now, but I’m not taking my shirt off.” Taeil responded to the fan. You motioned to Taeil, and his eyes glanced at you for a second, watching you fan yourself with your hand, he thought that it was hot so he turned the fan on real quick, but that’s not what you wanted. To get his attention back, you removed your shirt, and that grabbed Taeil’s attention real quick. “Oh, nothing you guys, I am looking at the tv, one of my favorite movies just came on.” He lies. His attention is set on both the fans’ comments and you right now. You take it up a step by removing your bra, and when you do that, his attention completely shifts to you, watching your bare chest heave little by little and seeing your nipples harden to the open air. “You guys, the bad guy just stole the good guy’s sister.” He lies again. You love how he makes up a fake movie so his fans don’t know what he is really looking at. As soon as he goes back to the comments you get up and walk towards him, his eyes shift right back at what you’re about to do. As he lays in his bed, phone in his hand with the Vlive on, he can’t believe that you’re doing this, pulling down his pants and underwear to watch his bulge stand at attention from the previous events that happened earlier. You lick your palm before rubbing his length, before licking a bold stripe up the side of it. “Oh!” Taeil lets out sounding similar to a breathy moan. “Guys, the bad guy is threatening to kill the sister!” You finally take him into your mouth, and he’s looks like he’s struggling to keep quiet. You take him deeper in your mouth, and Taeil rests his hand on your head, keeping his phone still close to his face, camera only on him. You keep going until he grunts loudly, and his member twitches in your mouth. “Guys, they just defeated the bad guy, yes, yes, yes!” He exclaims as he releases into your mouth. Hand gripping your head tighter, as he rides out his orgasm. A small whimper leaves his mouth, and he quickly ends the live. “Bye guys! See you all soon!” You sit back up on the bed, and he looks at you. “I didn’t know that was what you wanted to do earlier.”

Johnny: “No you guys, no one is in the room with me.” That was a lie, you were in the room with Johnny while he was on live. You kept teasing him with hand gestures signaling that you wanted to suck him off. He looked really good today, and you wanted him to know that he looked good, but sadly, you couldn’t do anything until the live was over, or so you thought. You walked over to him, and got under the table while he was distracted. “Yeah, of course you guys, the next Johnny’s Communication Center will happen n-next m-month.” Johnny stuttered a bit, he didn’t think you were doing it, but you did. You began palming him through his shorts that he was wearing while he was talking. He did a quick glance looking down a bit at you to give you a glare, but you just looked up at him with pleading eyes. He continued his live without too many fans noticing the sudden change in his demeanor. After palming him for a little bit, you pull down his shorts. “Of course he’s not wearing underwear.” You thought. You didn’t want to tease him too long so you began to suck him off without hesitation. “Mmm, mhm. I agree you g-guys.” Johnny tries to play it off. You take his length deeper into your mouth, and he grips your head under the table. He doesn’t want to force you down on his length because he worried you may let out a few sounds, so he just keeps his hand steady. “Mmm, that sounds so nice you guys, I may have to do that mmm.” He lets out. “Oh! Where’s (y/n)? S-she’s taking a nap. She w-was super tired y-you guys. Yeah no she’s n-not s-sick, she f-feels g-good, really g-good, ah!” He stutters and yells when his cock began to twitch in your mouth when used both of your hands to massage his shaft while sucking on the tip. This action through him over the edge releasing in your mouth making him stutter way too much on live, his legs shaking as well under the table. “Y-yeah, I will definitely join live again n-next w-week, s-so until t-then, I’ll s-see all of you g-guys soon, o-o-okay? Bye!” As you removed yourself from the table, and tried to walk away, Johnny pulls you on his lap, “We’re not done here Princess.” Johnny says before instantly making out with you, this will be a long night.

Yuta: “How could he be sitting there acting like, nothing was happening, he just has that sly smile on his face, and is playing it cool.” Those were the thoughts that crossed your mind while you were on your knees giving a blowjob while he was live. Keep in mind this wasn’t just your idea, Yuta wanted to try it out by betting that you couldn’t get a reaction out of him as long as you sucked him off on live, and so far he was winning. He acts so calm about your mouth being half way down his length like it was nothing. He acts like he’s done this before. “Yeah guys, it’s so nice to be back on live again.” Yuta knows that you’re doing well, but he doesn’t want to lose the bet, he promises he’s gonna reward you after whether or not you win at all, because that’s just him. “(y/n)? Yeah her birthday is in a few days isn’t it? I have to get her a gift. No, I don’t know what to get her, do you guys have any ideas?” While he was distracted, you try to suck him off harder, going deeper until you hit the base of his cock, deepthroating him and making a mess before his eyes. His eyes closed just slightly, and you finally felt him twitch in your mouth, you knew he was close, so you used one of your hands to massage his balls, sending him over the edge, and releasing into your mouth, and that’s when you heard this. “Mmm, god yes! She loves things like that, I have to buy her one of those, t-that’s it r-right there!” You made him moan out, you won. Proud of what you did, you sat back up, and walked out so Yuta could finish on live. When he finished you heard the door open as he jumped on the bed, holding your arms above your head. “You won, choose your prize angel.” “You, do anything to me please.” “It’s funny how I lost, but I still somehow receive a prize.” He says before going in to kiss you.

Doyoung: This pure soul doesn’t know what to do. He just assumes that he can control his moans, but your mouth just feels to good to him. His eyes are wide trying to hide the fact that you are behind the camera with your mouth on him. “Y-you guys want me to s-sing? O-okay.” Doyoung says, breath a little shaky. He began to sing a song that was stuck on his mind for while now, and you have to admit that it is pretty funny witnessing Doyoung attempt to sing with a shaky breath just because you had this much of an effect on him. You suck on his length harder, and he stops mid song to pause from the pleasure he was receiving. “Ohh, w-what was the n-next line? I c-can’t remember g-guys.” He tries to continue, but he can’t he is so close to finish it, because he is so close to releasing. Not long after you feel Doyoung twitch, and he’s sent over the edge, while his seed goes down your throat, “Ahh, Yeah, that’s it! I remember the lyric now!” He tries to sing, but it’s no use, he can’t sing while he’s in the middle of an orgasm. So while attempting to sing, he “accidentally” cuts the live. “Ahh, that feels too good, (y/n)” Doyoung finally lets out riding out his orgasm. Once finished, you take him out of your mouth, and stand up finally. He looks at you, wanting to continue where you and him left off, but you say this instead, “I would start live again, we’ll continue this later, you don’t want your fans to know something is up.” He nods, begins a new live, “Yeah Sorry guys, my phone just died, but now we can pick up where we left off.”

Jaehyun: His live was very entertaining, but sadly, it wasn’t entertaining you. Jaehyun made really funny jokes, and he was having fun sharing what he recently bought from shopping last week. The only reason you were pissed was because before the live you were about to get your guts rearranged by Jaehyun, it started out with a heavy make out session, heading towards the bed when his alarm went off signaling him to start the live. So now you’re just sitting there across the room arms crossed ready for the live to end. “How could he look so good?” You thought. You realized that you couldn’t take it anymore. You walked towards him, and crouched down, his eyes focused on you. You unbutton and unzipped his pants and pulled his length out rubbing it up and down to get it hard. He tries to diffuse the situation by hinting at a few words throughout his story. “So yeah, a guy was shoplifting, and when the officer saw him, he yelled STOP! And the guy took off running.” You could tell that stop was directed towards you by his tone, but you continued anyway. You put your mouth to his tip earning a reaction from him, and throwing out random stories to show his emotions. “Uhh, mmm, but y-yeah the guy w-was running, and he chased him, and Johnny and I were w-watching it all, and we were like fuck! It was so good!” You took all of him in your mouth, and that caused Jaehyun to look down at you, mouth agape, and all you could do was look up at how good he looked. “But yeah, I also got a shirt, that says “That Feels Nice!” after the shoplifting incident, i-it w-was o-on s-sale.” He started to twitch in your mouth, and he came, playing off his moans like he was searching for something. “Uhh, mmm, I-I am l-looking for this other s-shirt fuck, mmm.” Once you finished, you retracted your mouth from his length “Ah, I found it.” You went back to your spot watching him continue with the live waiting until he finished. Acting like nothing happened.

Jungwoo: Right before the live, Jungwoo was a little needy. You promised Jungwoo a blowjob, but because of the live it couldn’t be fulfilled. He was upset because he had to wait to satisfy his needs, so instead of canceling the live, or waiting to get his dick sucked, he used his fingers to signal you towards him, confused you walked over curious as to what he wanted you to do, he used his fingers to point down under the table towards his dick, and then you finally understood. Smirking, you got down on your knees, and crawled up to his lap, palming him through his pants, hardening him up, you unbuttoned them, and removed his underwear for his member to spring out. He talks to his fans like nothing’s wrong. “Yeah, I wanna meet all of you guys too.” You take his member into your mouth, but he plays it off really well. “Oh god! Guys it’s supposed to rain today, mmm.” You bobbed your head up and down picking up the pace trying to get more reactions out of him, when it doesn’t work, you tease him by removing your mouth trying to leave, but that does not work when he grabs the back of your head, and pushes you back down on his length causing you to gag a little. “I know I heard something too, it’s probably nothing.” He says distracting the fans from your gagging sounds. You continue to move your mouth against him, and he’s super close, you can see his leg shake while you continue to work your mouth on him. You move your mouth up to the tip and swirl your tongue across it sending him over the edge. “Damn, it’s starting to rain fuck!” Jungwoo says eyes rolling to the back of his head like he’s annoyed when he’s actually just getting good head. You got him through his orgasm as he came in your mouth, and finally finished. You removed yourself from the table, and going back to the room to get your phone, texting him “Your promise has been fufilled baby ❤️”

Mark: He was so confused, he didn’t know what to do let alone be on live while all of this happened. He didn’t know you were this needy to the point of sucking him off on live. He doesn’t even know how to act while his cock is halfway down your throat. “Oh fuck!” You look up at him, and expect an excuse to give to the fans. “Y-yeah g-guys I just caught a really bad cramp, shit.” He looks down at you while you look up at him with pleading eyes. “Ahh,” Mark whimpers. “It’s fine guys it just hurts Ahh, mmm, r-really b-bad.” You pick up the pace, and because of this, fans began to notice a change in his voice, “There’s nothing wrong with my voice guys, mmm, it’s all- it’s all g-good, ah!” Mark began to twitch in your mouth, and you knew he was going to cum, you took him out of your mouth, and just massaged his length with your hand until he came all over it, “Oh god! The cramp is back fuck! Ah, it-it hurts so much much ugh, I hate it, shit!” After he is done releasing over your hand you see how hard he is breathing. Everyone is asking Mark if he is okay. “Yeah guys the cramp is gone now I had to relax the muscle in the foot. Speaking of which, I’m gonna get off of live to try and find something to help with cramps, I’ll see you all soon!” He ends the live. “Way to be subtle baby.” You point out. “My dick was in your mouth, why would I be subtle about that. I hope no one didn’t think too much of it.” He responds. Later that night, you check out your phone. To find “Mark’s live” trending on Twitter, your eyes widen at the sight, and of course none other than a screen recording of the live with the caption “He was really enthusiastic about getting a cramp huh? 👀👀” After you read that, like clockwork Mark yells out your name to talk to you.

Haechan: “Yeah guys, I like a lot of their music.” Haechan tells people on live. You could hear everything he said due to the sudden predicament you were in. You were under the covers of his bed sucking him off while he goes live at the moment, his fans not even realizing it. This was all his idea, he wanted to see how well you could suck him off without it being too obvious. To him, you were doing really well, taking all of him, and making sure he felt every part of your mouth and throat making sure he didn’t make it too obvious, but that went out the door when you took him in your mouth a little deeper down to the base of his member. “U-um yeah, I like that song especially by t-them, they make incredible music, but that song to me is the best.” He continues to answer some of his fans’ questions as he tries to keep quiet from all of the obvious stuff happening, he tries to distract himself by doing whatever to not make a sound, but that didn’t last long, when he finally released in your mouth chasing his high that he yearned for the entire live. “I’m cumming!” Haechan yelled out. When he realized what he said, he comes up with a story. “Oh that was Mark, we’re about to go play basketball soon, so I have to end this live guys, but stay safe.” Once the live ended, you came back up from the covers, and toyed with your boyfriend a little. “Ahh, I’m cumming!” You mock him. “Yah, I’d like to see you do a live while I eat you out one day!” Haechan starts to smirk and thinks to himself that it doesn’t sound like a bad idea actually.

[georgiapeach30513]

Does Steve ever get drunk enough to indulge in ransoms high/drunk conversations?

Yes...yes he does. And the thing is, Ransom remembers everything you tell him when he's drunk and/or high. Obviously the more drunk and high he gets the more he's ready for some Kitten loving, but he also becomes very open about his preferences and how he can spice up their love life.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

It Could Work

Summary:  Guys trip!

Pairings:  Ransom, Steve, Jake, Bucky, Sam

Rating:  mildly explicit

Warnings: alcohol consumption, partaking in edibles, explicit language, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  1.1K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Ransom & Steve Masterlist

“Please tell me again why they’re all going?” Ransom grumbles as they head on their way to the cabin.  It was a spur of the moment guys trip and he wasn’t overly excited.  He made sure to pack plenty of gummies.  It was going to be a long weekend, and he was going to have some fun.

Jake leans over the seat, putting his arms over both Ransom’s and Steve’s seat, “You’re not talking about me though, are ya?”

“You’re exactly who I’m talking about.  Good thing I brought party supplies,” Ransom pulls out the baggy of gummies.  When Jake reaches for it, he quickly jerks it away. 

“I get one first.  If I got to put up with sir laughs-a-lot and the horny bastard, I get one first.  Bucky’ll need two.  Sam probably is just going to drink and smoke.”

The three continue on their trek, annoyed when Jake starts singing at the top of his lungs, so Ransom just turns the music off.  Much to his dismay Jake kept singing.  

Arriving at the cabin, and Sam’s already blasting some music while Bucky is grilling.  “Took you long enough,” he throws over his shoulder.

“Yeah, Steve doesn���t follow directions too well,” Steve goes ahead popping two gummies in his mouth, and they throw the bag around.  Jake tries to take a second, but Ransom swipes it from him quickly.  “Not you.”

“Everyone else got double.”

“You’re the exception.  You’re high on life, you don’t need the added high.”

The night goes on, eating, drinking, playing cards, drinking some more, smoking cigars, drinking even more, until Ransom gets in his mood.  With Jake along his side.  “Steven!” Ransom yells to the other side of the table where Steve sits, no need for the yelling.  “We gotta finish our conversation.”

“Okay, you go ahead and ask everyone your questions then,” snorting he stands for one more gummy.  He needs to be good and high to listen to this drone on and on.

“Bucky, Samuel, and Jacob...Bucky what is your real name?”

“James,” Bucky chuckles taking a sip of his beer.

“Okay, you three.  I have a dilemma.  Steven won’t help me out.  This is a serious topic.  I want someone to fuck my wife,” Bucky stares at him solemn faced, Sam as well, until Sam starts laughing.  “No, no no.  It’s a fantasy, she’s not said no.  I want to watch,” Bucky looks over at Steve who takes a whiff of the shot he’s about to down.  Shrugging and throwing it back.  His whole body shivers from the taste.

“You listen to this shit?” Bucky asks him.

“Unfortunately.”

“Are you sure your wife wants that?” Bucky takes another quick drink, before grabbing another beer.  “Like, is this the best thing for her?”

“She’s not said no.  But anyways.  I wanted Steven, but the whole Marta thing.  Thought about Samuel, but Kitten said her pussy is the only pussy I get, so that leaves you out.  Bucky, you’re currently single.  She gives great head, rides a cock like a champ.”

“Why aren’t you asking me?” Jake demands, crossing his arms.

“You got a taste.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that was the best experience for her,” Jake and Ransom both laugh at Bucky.  Who looks between the two confused.

“I forgot you said something about Jake and Yelena.  Did you two swap?” Steve asks finally sitting down.  Jake snorts shaking his head no.  “You just...what?  I need to know!”

Ransom laughs hysterically, throwing his head back, while Jake is a giggle mess.  “I was tied up,” he’s finally able to get out.  “He was pounding her from behind, making her watch while Ye teased me.  One time, I swear,” Jake throws his head down on the table laughing.

“How did she like that?” Bucky asks getting a slap on the arm from Sam, “What?”

“Considering she’s floating around in a pool with his cock up her pussy a few weeks ago while there’s people around, I don’t think she cared.  You’re serious though?”

Ransom nods his head, ending the conversation for a moment while Jake starts singing obnoxiously at the top of his lungs.  Ransom flops on the couch next to Steve, who had spent the last twenty minutes laughing nonstop.  “I love you, Steven.”

“I know you do.”

"I need you to do me a favor.”

“Anything for you pal,” Steve’s half lidded eyes look over at Ransom giving him a dopey smile.

“I want to watch you fuck Marta, while I fuck Kitten.”

“Are you serious?” Steve laughs, Bucky and Sam not having drank as much just sit staring at the two.  Waiting on the lovable Steve’s answer.  “I’d love to.  I’ve always wanted to see her naked.  You know, I came this close,” he holds up his thumb and forefinger, showing the smallest amount of distance possible without touching them.  “To asking her out.  She smells good, I almost kissed her a few times, but she’s not for me.”

“Yeah, I wanna see this papi business you keep talking about.  I bet that ass bounces on your dick so good.”

“So so good, Ran.  Wait wait,” leaning towards Ransom he puts his forehead on his.  “They’re together.  Lets call them and ask.”

Jake in a world of his own continues singing, while Bucky and Sam laugh at Ransom and Steve.  Not even daring to stop them from this phone call.

“Kitten?” Ransom speaks into your voicemail.  “Kitten, is she purring,” he looks over at Bucky and Sam, “Her kitty cat purrs,” giving them an awkward wink before returning back to the voicemail.  “Are you not there?  Anyways, you listen, Steve and Marta wanna have sex with us.  I don’t want her pussy okay, Steven doesn’t want yours.  She’s mine anyways.  But like we did with Jake and Yelena.  But...”

“I wanna see you kiss her,” Steve giggles on the speaker.  “both of you making out while you ride us.  I want this to happen.  Call me,” he finishes with a whisper.

“You two are fucking idiots, but this is the most hilarious shit show I’ve ever seen,” Sam slowly falls in the floor laughing.  Jake pauses his movements looking at him on the floor holding his chest.

“I know CPR.”

“Do not touch me.”

“Oh come on Sam.  He didn’t say mouth to mouth,” Bucky goes to stand, walking over to Ransom and Steve.  “I can’t wait until sober you knows what you did.  Or when they call you back.”

“It could work,” Ransom gives him a sleepy wink, his head starting to fall over on Steve’s shoulder.

“It could,” Steve informs him wagging his finger, his head leaning over on Ransom’s.  “Wait, are you going to suck her titties in front of me?”

“No.  That’s for me.  Go to sleep.”

“Ransom?” Steve hums on his friend’s head.  “We should call Frank, and tell him he has to come next time.”

Masterlist

[xsavannahx987]

That night I was finally able to rest after so many days of insomnia. Cullen's steady breathing and his heartbeat lulled me into sleep, giving me a dream-studded rest. As daylight peeked out behind the drawn curtains in the living room, Cullen awoke, moving slowly so as not to make any noise. I continued to sleep until the smell of hot coffee filled my nostrils making me wake up. "Good morning," Cullen murmured, a steaming cup in his hands and his expression more relaxed than the night before. "Good morning to you" I replied, smiling slightly. He sat down on the sofa next to me and handed me the cup of coffee as I rubbed my eyes, slightly embarrassed by my disheveled appearance. "You're beautiful," he said then noticing that I was trying to fix my hair with my hand as best I could. I had breakfast eating a couple of pancakes and sipping coffee and my stomach was grateful to finally receive something edible. When the meal was over, Cullen told me that he would drop by the house to put on something more comfortable than the uniform and that he would be back in an hour to take me for medical examinations. I had plenty of time to take a shower, brush my teeth and run a trickle of makeup on my face, just to cover the deep dark circles of so many sleepless nights. I felt good, emptied of the weight that I had carried inside for too long and, above all, I basked in the memory of that kiss we had exchanged only a few hours before. "I'll be back in an hour," Cullen said, standing at my door, his coat tight. "I'll wait for you here" was my reply. "See you later princess" and he kissed me again, with transport.

When he was gone I ran to get under the shower and as the water ran over my skin, I began to wonder how I should interpret those two kisses. Were we a couple? Were they just gestures of friendship, perhaps moved by compassion for my rather tragic situation? What was I supposed to tell him once he came back for me? The water flowed warming my slightly numb body, while new thoughts crowded my mind. I didn't want to think about what awaited me that day, between clinical tests and ultrasound scans to fully ascertain my pregnancy, nor did I want to think about what Eric had done to me. I just wanted to cancel everything as soon as possible, putting an end to this whole thing to fully focus on the relationship with Cullen. Was he asking the same questions too? Or did he just think he had to help me solve my mess again? Minutes passed as I got ready. I wore something comfortable, since I would have to undress once I got to the medical bed. When the hour was about to strike, I heard the doorbell ring. I ran out of the bathroom and nearly tripped over the large rug, eager to see Cullen again and dispel my doubts. I opened the door with a click, happy and smiling and I was about to throw myself into his arms, when the nightmare that I had rejected with all my strength was there, standing in front of me, black hair a little damp and eyes dark. "Hi baby!" he greeted me, the dazzling smile of someone who feels a clear conscience. "What are you doing here?" I asked trying not to let the fear in the tone of voice. "I went back to work and I didn't find you. They say you're sick and I wanted to make sure of your health conditions," he said calmly and not at all sincere. "I'm better, thanks, but you'd better go. Don't mess with the flu," I announced, still trying to stay calm even though I started shaking. Eric noticed it and crossed the threshold of the house without respecting in the least the fact that I had not invited him to enter. "You're shivering, honey. Let me hear if you have a fever," he said in an openly mischievous tone trying to touch me. "Stay away from me!" I blurted out, terrified by the memory of that night. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, pretending to be surprised. "You know very well! You drugged me and then ..." I fell silent feeling that the memory was tearing my chest again. "Then what? We had fun, didn't we ?! Don't tell me you didn't like it!" he declared smiling as he approached again. "You ... you ... you raped me, you damn bastard! You didn't even bother to put on a condom. You raped me and ... I'm pregnant!" I yelled in one breath. That statement stunned Eric who was petrified at the appearance, but suddenly his gaze changed and he became furious. He hit me in the face with such violence that I staggered and fell to my knees at his feet. Fear took hold of me completely and I feared for my life. "What would you expect of me now, huh?" he asked, hitting me a second time. "You don't want me to take care of the bastard!" another slap. I felt my lip split with each stroke as my cheek went from pale to fiery red. I couldn't speak, completely paralyzed by his fury and it made him even more angry. He grabbed me by the neck lifting me off the ground that I could hardly touch the ground with my feet anymore. The air in my lungs began to run out and I tried hard to breathe, but in vain. His fingers tightened more and more and my vision began to blur, blurring the contours of the room and of Eric's face, black with anger that kept spitting his discontent at me.

When I thought that my life would end like this, in the kitchen of my house at the hand of a man who had first drugged me and then raped me, luck knocked on my door again, or rather it really opened it. A moment later I could hear Cullen's hateful voice as he lashed out at Eric and the sound of fists the two were violently exchanging. "Son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" Eric shouted, hitting Cullen in the face. Cullen reacted, despite the blow having broken his nose, and rushed at Eric with a fury I never thought I'd see. Never, in all the years I had spent with him, had I seen him get angry like that and hit someone with all the might. The army had trained him to defend himself, to take blows, but also to fight back to protect his life and now Cullen was practicing the years of training before my eyes. I didn't know what to do, whether to interpose with each other or let them beat each other. I did the only sensible thing in my power. I called the police. The agents arrived within minutes. The younger grabbed Eric from behind and pushed him to the ground to handcuff him, while the other pointed a gun at Cullen's back and ordered him to surrender. "Captain Cullen Rutherford, special forces." Cullen announced, hands up and face completely swollen. "Is he armed captain?" the agent ordered, gun pointed. "I'm unarmed. I intervened to save civilian's life," he confessed. The agent lowered the weapon "You know the procedure captain. You will be escorted to the hospital for treatment and you will be questioned about the matter." "Of course" he announced and stretched out his hands in front of him "go ahead, officer" The agent handcuffed Cullen who offered no resistance, standing in an upright posture. "Why are you arresting him? He defended me" I cried with tears in my eyes. "Miss here an attack has occurred and until we know the dynamics of the facts, both are under arrest" "Don't worry. We'll work it all out," Cullen murmured smiling under his wounds. "No! This man drugged and raped me. Maybe I can't ask you to arrest him for this because I didn't report him immediately, but when he came this morning he first hit me several times and then tried to strangle me because I told him to being pregnant "I cried through tears, in one breath for fear of not being able to speak. "If Cullen hadn't arrived in time ..." and I fell silent, instinctively putting a hand to my throat where the marks of Eric's grip began to color my skin. "Captain, he must still follow me for an official deposition and then we will also take that of the lady." the agent announced, removing the handcuffs from Cullen's wrists. "All right. Hailey now you go with the paramedics to the hospital. I'll join you as soon as possible." "Cullen I ..." Cullen hugged me tightly, breathing on my shoulder. "Don't say anything. We'll have time to talk."

[tarosin]

Brownies

requested: yes/no

pairing: platonic tommy x reader

summary: y/n and tommy attempt to bake brownies

content warning: cursing

unbeknownst to y/n, tommy stood messing with the ingredients whilst they were preoccupied setting up the camera, making sure it was straight and in focus. “the recipe is straight forward it’s pretty difficult to mess up. let’s be honest if techno can make the brownies so can we.”

“go live already you’re taking ages- OH HELLO CHAT HOW ARE WE ALL? i’m only joking i only care about your money! also chat if you’re not subscribed already, make sure you sub as all money y/n makes today will be sent my way, isn’t that right?”

“absolutely not, anyway chat since several of you guys decided to give me all your money, i mean subscribe to me-”

“that is quite literally the same thing.”

“moving swiftly on in order to celebrate this milestone, we’re going to be baking brownies because how hard can it really be? all you do is mix a bunch of ingredients together, throw it in the oven, and wait.”

tommy stood pointing at the ingredients laid messily on the table, a confused expression etched on his face. “i’m pretty sure they know what we’re doing y/n. considering everything is on the table, and the stream is titled baking stream with tommy. chat i would personally like to add that if anything goes wrong it is all y/ns fault, purely because i never do anything wrong. y/n on the other hand.”

the pair stood bickering over who will be to blame if everything goes wrong, only stopping when their argument was interrupted by y/n remembering they didn’t preheat the oven.

“right let’s begin shall we! tommy can you pass me the scissors? the fucking bag won’t open and i don’t trust you with them.”

“no.”

“what do you mean no? i need to use the scissors.”

“back in phils day scissors didn’t exist, they used their strength! i’m sorry you’re weaker than a plastic bag, hand it here let a man like me show you how it’s done.”

chat started spamming how phil was currently watching the stream and heard everything tommy just said. the pair looked at each other, trying their hardest to contain their laughter. a minute passed tommy was still arguing with the plastic bag. unimpressed by the fact he too was unable to open it he gave up, and stabbed the bag with the scissors, allowing the dry mixture to fall into the bowl.

“well that was rather violent, i’m sorry you let a plastic bag annoy you.”

for a while everything was going smoothly, y/n and tommy managed to work together peacefully. that was until tommy decided his new profession was egg juggling.

“put the eggs down!”

following y/ns advice he dropped the eggs onto the counter.

“are you serious-“

“awe no chickens spawned.”

“tommy go touch grass.”

“ill fix the problem don’t stress that little mind of yours, after all they don’t call me mr professional baker for the fun of it!” tommy grabbed more eggs and started to add them to the mixture, whilst y/n stood there pointing out how much shell keeps falling into the mixture, causing tommy to defend it by arguing he’s adding more texture to the brownies, so they’re not boring. they both noticed the sprinkles on the counter, then all of a sudden as though they had read each other’s minds, they ran to the sprinkles.

“HA! let’s make a deal you can have them, if you can reach them!” he laughed holding the sprinkles above his close friends head.

“fuck you!”

forgetting the brownies were supposed to be edible, tommy had poured the entire container of sprinkles into the mix, then hid the container so y/n wouldn’t notice.

“they’re ready to go into the oven!” he smiled innocently at y/n, as they placed the tray into the oven. whilst the brownies were in the oven y/n, suggested playing try not to laugh so that chat could be included.

time flew by, neither of them willing to lose the game, as loser had to take the brownies out of the oven. however, at this point the brownies had been long forgotten, and should have come out of the oven 40 minutes ago.

“uh tommy did you set the timer?”

“i thought i had let me go check...oh i forgot to press start.”

y/n put on oven gloves and took the very questionable brownies out the oven. once they had cooled, they held it up to show chat, then cut two slices of the brownie.

“tastes like burnt sprinkles jesus christ. did you put the entire container in here?”

“like i said earlier chat, this was 100% not my fault as i never make mistakes. bye chattttt!”