#I did not want this to be my first post ever since the blog revamp.

[shrimps-fried-rice]

God. I don’t want this to be my first post. But here we go.

Hi. I’m Shrimp. There is currently misinformation being spread around by my toxic friend about me.

I want to say this right here. Right now.

Don’t believe he’s a system.

He is not. He never has been. It is a psyop for pity and him being a manipulator.

He is also trying to get the entire incredibox community to block me all because of his lies. None of this is true.

He has also begged for my address on multiple occasions even crying on a voice call to try and have me give him pity.

He is a living breathing pity party. Do not trust him. Or believe his lies. I am not the big bad guy he puts me as.

I’m just 15 year old on the internet.

Also he mentioned in his post I “stole tab as a kin thing” when I didn’t. But that’s not really related.

What is related is all my proof.

He has been doing this for months. And he has been trying to get me in trouble with everyone else. When in reality. He is the bad guy. I’m not.

And my proof shows it.

If you are still friends with @/thegardengrows-inthefrozenrain or blogs associated with him. Block me immediately.

[2-steps-forward]

Full story of how this AU came to be:

@HidekaneHeadcanons* liked writing oneshot!Kaneki and wrote a bunch of Hidekane oneshots that I really liked

(*Their blog is sadly deleted, but I went back and archived their fics I had reblogged on my main here. The "read more"s are broken, but all the AO3 links work as they simply orphaned them.)

And from there, I was inspired to also think of my own ideas featuring a full ghoul Kaneki, and I decided to specifically think about how Tokyo Ghoul's story would go if Kaneki was a ghoul from the start - how that would change his past, personality, his relationship with Anteiku, and his friendship with Hide

I first wrote and posted "Life As A Ghoul" to AO3, but it was definitely my weakest writing and just sort of a copy-and-paste of canon. I ended up deleting it because I hated it and it wasn't working lmao.

But the basic concept of a full ghoul Kaneki au never left me, and finally I came up with a good idea: "hey what would be the most fucked up way for Hide to discover that Kaneki was a ghoul?"

And I wrote that, re-using the name Life As A Ghoul and posting it to AO3. And after that introduction, it quickly became a really endearing fic of unconditional love and some ghoul & character building.

A few years passed, it went on an indefinite hiatus, I got out of Tokyo Ghoul for a while, but my love for the series remained and through it all I was still obsessed with the idea of a full ghoul Kaneki.

Eventually I did a manga re-read and also reread my fic, wanting to get back to it. Except... I had done a lot more analysis during that manga reread, and a lot of my understanding, takes, and headcanons had changed. Additionally, the original dark concept kind of caused me to write myself into a corner of where to go from there.

So! Instead I decided to try to "revamp" the au.

The name "Life As A Ghoul" had only ever been an easy placeholder title (Literally a phrase picked out from a sentence in the fic I had emphasizing Kaneki's difficult life as a ghoul).

But now I had the perfect proper name for the au fic:

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Because the whole concept that always grasped me was Kaneki's ghoul side and true self being revealed to Hide, and Hide loving him unconditionally, and yet between Kaneki's shame and the struggles of a realistic predator and prey relationship... their journey to strengthen their friendship ends up being "two steps forward, one step back". Each time they made progress, something seems to knock it back a little.

And then for whatever reason, since February of this year I got really into ghoul worldbuilding and doubled down on it so hard.

(I also constantly wrote tons of other full ghoul Kaneki reveal oneshots on pure whims)

At this point... the au and fic barely have a plot. And I'm not really sure it ever will?? But I've had a hell of a fun time writing adorable and angsty unconditional hidekane love and acceptance and just growing my worldbuilding headcanons.

So, here we are... A place for me to ramble about it, and post some of the random fun stuff I've made for the au.

[respondedinkind]

Okay, okay, so... the new year isn't here yet, but 2023 is coming to an end very soon and I have planned to make a post - so here it is.

What this post is about? You!

I just want to be here and say thank you to everyone who has joined me here on my blog, even though I haven't been around for long. I am insanely grateful for each and every single one of you being here, for all the good memories you allowed me to make, and that so many of you welcomed me - and my muse - with open arms. I am so happy that you gave - and still give - me opportunities to explore my own writing and my muse's behaviors, and I just cannot stop saying it enough: THANK YOU!

I met some incredible people over the last months - some of which are people that I have RPed with before and where I was oh-so-excited to have them met again, after all these years of me having been separated from my Khan-muse because of fandom-changes, interest-changes, whatnot; For those of you who don't know, I first started to write Khan in 2012, BEFORE Star Trek into Darkness even aired, solely based on speculations and a teaser trailer lol. It wasn't very serious, but then definitely developed into what is my most-written muse after the movie finally came out and Khan just invaded my brain like some kind of parasite.

Since then, I have made a few blogs, kept writing Khan for a couple of years, then went on hiatus - remade, revamped, wrote for a few more years, disappeared... and now here I am again, with an AU-Version I was very, very scared to just put out here but now I am so, so glad I did. Thank you all for allowing me to write it, and yeah, I'm repeating myself, but... the opportunies I got and still get? So wonderful. Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance.

Besides that, I also expanded my horizon a little and made two more blogs: One is on a little hiatus right now, while I am very active on the other thanks to some wonderful human beings who basically set my love for that character into flames. I hope that, and I mean that with the utmost sincerety, my choice of 'second and especially third muse' is not taken as a will to replace anything or anyone, but rather me being so immensely starstruck by other writers that have given me such a great insight and made me want to explore the depths as well.

Okay, okay, this is already insanely long and I am so sorry (I am unsure if anyone will ever read this lol), but now I want to give a shout out to ALL OF YOU, who are here, writing with me! All of you are so, so amazing and I am so glad to have met you, and I hope we can continue to write for as long as our muses and our creativity will let us. Thank you, again, and please take a look at those awesome people in case you aren't already following each other:

First of all, amazing writers and amazing people in general that I look up to (in no particular order), who are inspiring me in so many ways, make me feel a bit like a teenager gazing at their favorite star (lol) and just... are great people, yes, that I just want to mention separately for varying reasons:

@ssolessurvivor (Friend! Omg! When you first followed me, I could never imagine how things would ever develop - and how well Logan would fit to Khan, how their story developed into what it is now, so deeply plotted and filled with so many sub-stories and little moments that push both our muses along, allow me to explore my Khan on so many levels... it's insane how attached he is to your Logan, and I am so, so happy about us being in so much contact and just keep plotting and talk about everything! You are such a friendly mun and I am so, so grateful that you indulge me, even over on Stephen (hehe). I hope we can keep writing for a long time; Thank you so much for letting me throw in all my ideas about Khan, all the quirky things about him, I am so, so grateful!!! ♥)

@darehearts (I felt insanely welcomed by you, giving my Khan *and* my Bones such a chance to interact with Kirk ♥ Thank you so much for that, and thank you so much for indulding in my Khan-joins-the-crew idea as a Kirk-writer. That's definitely not something you need to do and yet you allow me. Ahhh! I was so blown away when you asked me if I wanted to become mains sdfasadfasd. Still am honestly because I am just a potato haha. Thank you for being here and being such a kind person ♥)

@strxngetimes (seriously, I was so nervous approaching you first but I am so glad I did; I do look up to you like you're some kind of superstar (haha) and I am still amazed that you gave me the chance of exploring things the way we do. Thank you for indulging me AND enduring me (and my muse lol), and you really, really inspire me in so many ways when it comes to your Stephen, it's amazing. You actually caused my interest for him to go back up into flames and for me to join the MCU fandom lol (and I would also bother you on your tony BUT i am SO UNWORTHY hahaha). Thank you - I hope we can keep writing for a while longer ♥ And I look forward to everything that might further develop between Khan and Stephen. Very much <3 Love them a lot!)

@mehrere-musen (Ok but really, of course I have to mention you. The way you accepted me, the way we started to write and things just??? Happened??? I love interacting with you and your Stephen and I love the way he works with Khan too, and I am so happy that you allowed me to be with the two where they are. Our thread has almost 800 notes by now which is insane, and with how we keep having ideas, it might go further than that lol. Thank you so much for indulging me - and thank you to Stephen to make Khan so insanely happy. :) ! I hope we can continue to write for a long time! ♥)

@fasciinating (SPAWK! I know we don't do a lot of OOC chatting in any way but our thread??? You are so good for just throwing us into that mess and for you to be like 'lmao ok here let Khan do whatever' and where are Spock and Khan now??? A NIGHTMARE LOL. I love the creativity and how you maneuvered us into that mess of a situation and how we can just seriously fuck moments up and go 'ah yeah somehow there's a rabbit also the world explodes'. I also love the way you write Spock! Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance, despite his 'AU-ness', and that I get to explore such an interesting storyline! I was also very happy to have found you again, because I remember you from a long time ago (even though we didn't write much back then I think? But I remembered your name!)).

@sxbaist (MY BELOVED! God, you have no idea how insanely happy I was when I realized you were still there. Vega has stolen Khan's heart back when we first wrote so many years ago and when I rebooted him with his AU Version, my heart almost stopped when I saw you were still active and around. I was so, so nervous to approach you - but you welcomed me back, so did Vega welcome back my Khan, and honestly... I love them so, so much, and I adore you so much as a person. Thank you for doing all of that, for allowing me back, for Khan to have his wonderful woman back and for them to enjoy each other. It feels like as if they never got separated at all and I cannot express my gratitude enough, really. You as a person are so awesome as well and I will forever wait for your return! You are also the only other Khan I write with, so I will mention your @paramounticebound here too because your Khan is insanely great and I look up to him so, so much, people need to know!!!)

@vuulpecula (OK but listen, I know we also don't do much OOC chatting at all BUT!!! I just have to mention you here too because the things we do are just so??? SO??? HNNG like lmao we just write each other like 'ok what should happen' AND THEN DOOM HAPPENS to either Khan / Fox and Stephen / Fox LOL as if we got no chill really! I enjoy it a lot to explore those plots and see where things will go! Also you are such a kind person and so easy to talk to!!! Thank you for also indulging me on Stephen hehe ♥ and also all the things on Khan ofc!)

If I could, I would write every single one of you such a text, but alas... if I were to, I wouldn't be finished in 2025 (lol), so I hope you take my gratitude and my love for you as a combined package as well; You are all wonderful people and I am so glad to have you here, and it has been a joy - I hope it will continue to be a joy in the future too, and I cannot wait to see how things will develop (once again, in no particular order):

@whydotheykeeptakingmine ♥ @noblehcart ♥ @resignedworkaholics ♥ (also over on Stephen) @he1msman | @spacesk1pper | @entrpz ♥ (also on Bones) @ensnchekov | @cosmiicheskaya ♥ (also on Bones) @vulku ♥ @onlybonesleft ♥ @wtsns | @agntross ♥ (also over on Stephen) @goodheartedfool ♥ @oceansfirst ♥ (also over on Stephen) @kingofthewebxxx ♥ (also over on Stephen) @fallenregent ♥ @danversiism ♥ @nursc ♥ (also over at Bones) @nightmdic ♥ @brooklynislandgirl ♥ @defectivexfragmented ♥ (also over on Stephen) @haiiling ♥ @gcldenratio ♥ @hiippocrates ♥ @tangleweave ♥ (In case I have forgotten someone: I am so, so, so, so, sorry!!!!)

Also, last but not least: Should you not be named on this list, this does not mean I am not grateful for you or don't appreciate you! I thank you for being here, especially if we have already written something... and even if you follow me and I do not follow back, I am still immensely grateful that you're here in the first place, even if you might not stay ♥.

Thank you so much for every single one of you, really - everyone I mentioned here, everyone I did not. Because of YOU my experience on this (and my two other blogs) is what it is. Without you I wouldn't be where I am now, I wouldn't be able to explore my Khan, my Bones, my Stephen, and I wouldn't be able to have such a good time.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2024 - MAY GOOD LUCK, LOTS OF LOVE, HAPPINESS AND FORTUNE COME YOUR WAY! No matter where you are, or what your plans are... you are valid, you deserve to be here, you deserve to do what you want to do and you deserve all the good things coming for you.

THANK YOU.

L. finally over and out. (and if you read up this far, you'll get a cookie from me!)

[ladyimaginarium]

check-in tag!

1. why did you choose your url? — idr tbh. all i& remember is that. imaginarium& is our& innerworld's name.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and tell why you have them. — @imaginariumrpc my& rpc sideblog for stuff i want to reblog but not on my main, currently a mess & in the state of archiving & transferring posts onto this blog considering this blog is the one i& mainly use & its multipurpose. — @dominusornatum my& rp blog that hasnt been used but may revamp. — @brumoustoska Erica's& sideblog. May or may not add a nsft blog but idk yet.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? — uhhhh since 2016 i& think.

4. do you have a queue tag? — no but im& debating lmao

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? — this used to be a rp blog actually but i& repurposed it into a multipurpose blog bc. i& left the tumblr rpc for several reasons especially bc i& was dealing w/ my& system that i'd& recently discovered at the time & just. mental health issues.

6. why did you choose your icon? — bc khadija& is one of my& ocs & she's& cute.

7. why did you choose your header? — i love stars. like, i'm& obsessed.

8. what’s your post with the most notes? — one of my& old twdg edits iirc.

9. how many mutuals do you have? — many lmao but s/o to a, simy, emma, hal & leli.

10. how many followers do you have? — over 100.

11. how many people do you follow? — over 400.

12. have you ever made a shitpost? — aren't all my posts shitposts /j so many times.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? — a lot, i& don't keep track tho bc thats lame.

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog? who won? — i&. don't like arguments or conflict or any kinda disk horse especially when it comes to fandom & shipping disk horse bc tbh i& have more important things in my& life to focus on & a lot of this is like chronically online shit, so i& avoid them the best i& can within reason. so. no.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? — usually i'm& happy to wave them goodbye as i& scroll past them bc of ocd hell, but when it comes to indigeneity or queer issues or anything of the sort its my& duty so.

16. do you like tag games? — yes !! please continue tag me& or any of us&!! ♡

17. do you like ask games? — yessss!!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? — tbh they all should be but uh. i& think audit especially in the plural & queer & disabled communities. hal bc they're so iconic in the plural community as a whole & they do so much for systems its great tbh. also emma bc she's a forever icon in the twdg fandom & abri ( idk what ur actual name is so lmao ) in the gangsta fandom bc uh. they're iconic asf. & although we're not moots persay bc marzi has a rp blog, but marzi's portrayal of mitch & just everything twdg related on @phantasmagcrical / @gciltyascharged has me& go like AGLJAGGALJGALGAJGAJLAGLJAGJL hennywayz ily marziiiii ♡

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? — no? /lh but i& appreciate all of my moots. ♡

20. tags? — @briala @dethqveen @aabblleeddnntt @abri-chan @tearfulangel @emmiewlw @dreamlandsystem & anyone else if you wanna do it !!

[tv-sinner]

4, 18, 26, 31 and 43!

4. A character you rarely talk about?

Hmmm.. I guess it would have to be some of my more brand new ocs (aka ones that aren’t even developed enough to have a tag on here yet!). A lot the ocs I had on my previous oc aesthetic blog are either in oc purgatory or in the process of getting revamped entirely. Some are so new that i have yet to draw them, much less talk about them. But for now, I’ll focus on one who I haven’t drawn yet from VITW verse: Adira, a butch dandelion rogue who has a love-hate/lovers AND enemies relationship with the strawberry monster huntress, St. Wickam.

Adira was disgraced knight who now wanders the wilderness as a thief and mercenary. She often finds herself crossing paths with the high-strung strawberry and she’s made it her personal mission to play with her and to steal her heart (literally or metaphorically? Whatever happens first). Wickam was initially charmed by her but she soon realized that Adira stole her money and they’ve been getting into homoerotic fights about it (and many other instances of them messing with each other) ever since. Their relationship is.. complicated. And neither are ready to admit to themselves or each other that they have romantic feelings for each other. And that’s all I have for now. 🫡

18. Any OC crackships?

Two words: Archdemon Polycule… Or more accurately, separate polycules that have overlap with some members but not all of them are involved with each other. Here’s a visual aid I drew for this weird ass poly ship:

All Roads Lead to Asmodeus. Would this polycule be an absolute disaster of a relationship? Yes. Do I think it would actually work out? No, I doubt it would last for very long, especially when infernal politics come into the mix… Not to mention that they tend to bicker with each other a lot. Would it at least be entertaining to watch this particular polycule crash and burn? Yes. This will never happen in canon but it would be funny if it did.

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Not exactly? The only thing that kinda made me change things about my ocs against my Will was probably the existence of H*zbin H*tel/H*lluva B*ss. For a while, I stepped away from my Hell/Heaven story partly because of its popularity/fandom and me wanting to distance myself from it, which included my own story about Hell. I would elaborate further, but there’s a time and place for being a hater and it isn’t here lol. The other, more major reason was that I had a crisis of faith in my artistic and writing ability was also having at the same time I was vocally beefing with these series on tumblr.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

I can think of a few ocs who would actually have a tumblr blog.. I think the most interesting of which would be Archdemon Belphegor’s tumblr blog(s). I’d imagine she’d have several blogs: her main (memes, occasionally posts about her inventive work, plushies, science posts), a blog dedicated to programming and maybe game dev, an aesthetic blog based on 90s computers and video games, and a separate NSFW blog not connected to her main. I’d imagine she’d take the time to make her own custom layout and across the board, they’d all have old computer desktop/old video game vibes. She posts pretty frequently and she sometimes slacks off on her work to check her socials, including tumblr.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Oh definitely. For one, I typically give my ocs curly/wavy hair, usually dark hair (brown or black). I rarely give them blonde or ginger hair. And even my ocs who have gray hair now were brunettes in their youth. I tend to give my ocs non-straight hair because I find drawing hair with a lot of volume/defined shapes to be more fun than just straight hair.

Aside from that, I tend to make my ocs fat, mostly because I’m fat myself! And a vast majority of my ocs end up with long lashes since I tend to just. Give them obvious lashes, regardless of gender. What can I say? Lashes look great.

[literaloreos]

Song I'm listening to while I write this: Meet Me in the Woods by Lord Huron

I've decided to revamp this blog. It's been ages since I've actually posted anything of meaning here, and I want to fix that. I've decided to turn this into a bit of a diary of sorts where I post about myself, my thoughts, and various other things. So, a blog.

I've been trying to be kinder to myself lately. I, like a lot of other people on this hellsite, was lured into those ana blogs when I was a naive teenager. For years and years, their words circled around in my head and I've finally started to notice how I give their opinions too much merit. I cut calories and I starved myself, and I looked at all these tiny women, trying to make myself look like them, but why? I didn't know these people, nobody in my life was telling me I needed to look like them, and there I was, trying to force my body to dip under that 100 pound mark. I even made a blog like them as well, though I quickly abandoned it.

I know why I did it, even though I hate admitting it. The part of my family that made sure their opinions were well known was the skinny part of my family. Now know this, when I say skinny, I mean average. My mom wasn't anorexic or bulimic, even though she would go on those fad diets at times. My older sister was average weight. My younger sister was average weight. I was also average weight, but a little curvier and that was my downfall. My mom called me fat and lazy, and whenever I was caught sneaking snacks when I was around 13, I was told I needed to start counting my calories. Was I guided into eating better? Did my family try to help me be more active? No. I was out on my own, and the Internet had a solution for me. I lost 20 pounds in a month because I wouldn't eat. I starved myself for days at a time because my family didn't notice. It was one of the biggest cries for help I could do at the time, and what resulted from it? Did my mother notice the weight loss and congratulate me? Did she ask me if I was ok? No. She never even noticed that I wouldn't come down for dinner, and that I didn't eat breakfast. Even my dad, someone who was trained in athletic science and nutrition failed to notice that I was refusing to eat. The lack of attention killed me, and started turning to more and more dramatic methods of weight loss. I would binge and purge regularly, I had a not so secret stash of laxatives. I hated my body, and that was my life for the next 6 years until I met a guy in college.

J was the first person I ever felt comfortable enough to admit to that I had an eating disorder. He helped me understand that I was more than my body. I didn't need to have my bones showing to be a valuable and sought after person. Despite being in college on an almost full ride, it took some silly guy for me to realize I was more than what I looked like.

It's been a couple years since then, and I've started letting myself wear the things I was never allowed to wear when I was a teen. I show off my tummy and my shoulders. I have bad days, but it's getting better. I'm feeling better, and that's all I can ask for.

[prometheanglory]

helloooo it’s not quite new years get over here in america but i have some end of the year sentiments to get off of my chest before 2022 is up 🥸 this is rly long teehee

it’s been !! a really busy year!! oh my god i didn’t realize how little i posted until i saw my tumblr wrapped T_T honestly, at some point i wondered if it’d be for the best for me to formally announce a hiatus — some parts due to university and work, and other parts due to personal conflicts that made it difficult to feel confident or proud that i was creating.

it feels kinda weird missing vinh’s birthday for the first time in a while 😅 (granted, i drew something for it but i didn’t post it bc i didnt finish/i got nervous) .

moreover, it felt weird being so distant from twst and my own tumblr? admittedly i scared myself off from doing as much as i could this year, so i have less to physically show that i’m still around and i still care just as much as i did in 2019. it’s hard to do stuff that you like when ur in the constant process of shoving ur foot in ur mouth or feeling really self-conscious, or well. sometimes it’s just hard to not feel insecure about what you want to make and what you perceive other people expect from you?

i admit that i’m still trying to rebuild my foundations so that i can feel secure and proud of myself. it’s been a really, really long road to take but i have all of 2023 and more to orient myself. i’ve been trying to get into new things and explore new ventures, and that has been… a very nerve-wracking process for someone who’s never done anything before (did you know how many emails and phonecalls i had to make to get anything done/set up just to take commissions….. i’ll tell u what, it’s definitely over 10)…

all in all, i just wanna get back on the horse _(:3 」∠)_ i’ve been a bit of a ghost, but i’m still here. i still wanna thank everyone who still pops in every now and then when i pop up every once in a while 😅 i really appreciate you guys hanging around and everything yall do, especially as a community. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a more vocal oc community before? it’s an environment that i appreciate more than anything and i don’t intend to let my gratitude go unspoken for. you guys are really sweet and supportive, and god, i can’t keep count on my fingers for the sheer quantity of amazing creators that i’ve seen here. i hope that with 2023, i get my hands on a better time management schedule so that i can properly give back into the community T_T

well anyway, i planned to do this many months back — here’s a list of random stuff i’ve been working on throughout 2021-2022 that i meant to announce but i never got around to but hopefully it’ll come trickling out in 2023 🤭

new dorm incoming, and a (pseudo) new dorm project

new ocs approaching :-) some canon, some fandorm

diversify my posts a little…….. cannot promise that i won’t still spam vinhs but i can try 🫡

organize blog a little more

stagrove uniform+chara revamp / sprites

oc design + sprite revamps (sarge / lola / imp twins / holly / edgar /xuehai are the ones i have on hand rn, but everyone’ll get their turn 🤓)

potential new vinh sprite (since the july one was just drawing over the old one 🤡)

stagrove episode is being gradually picked up again

i swear to god i’ll go through my inbox

get into merch production (charms/posters/stickers… u know the deal)

get through commissions faster and more frequently T_T

try to do a new style of commission…? (community votes on a subject/character/etc and when the goal is met, the art gets published for everyone to see or smth)

do a follower milestone celebration (potential giveaway?)

i swear to god i’ll get to that malleus daki design.

if malleus works out i prommy i’ll do leona daki too

oc personality or matchup quiz

more fun/detailed oc reference sheets

oc masterlist + oc profiles on toyhou.se

incoming comic project and more to come hopefully

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

I posted 1,773 times in 2022

That's 1,144 more posts than 2021!

132 posts created (7%)

1,641 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@softguarnere

@latibvles

@emmythespacecowgirl

@mccall-muffin

@hbowardaily

I tagged 1,767 of my posts in 2022

#omgg - 410 posts

#bob - 187 posts

#band of brothers - 164 posts

#daww - 103 posts

#reminders - 102 posts

#nature - 96 posts

#oooh - 91 posts

#hbo war - 86 posts

#relatable tbh - 86 posts

#joe liebgott - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and i find the pov of this so interesting bc for parts of it it's like seeing 2 ppl fall in love thru the eyes of the ppl around them 🥺💖

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Starry the Musical: Vincent Van Gogh (1/4)

"The sight of the starry night makes me dream"

31 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#4

And to celebrate the end of Pride Month, the Duffer brothers have generously revamped a new version of homophobia just for us 🥴

43 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#3

Starry the Musical: Theo Van Gogh (4/4)

"You've carried me more than you'll ever know..."

45 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#2

Fire On Fire: Chapter 1

(Ch. 2)

Gallery II Taglist Application II Symbol Guide

Summary: With WWII raging across the European Theatre, OSS agent Alix "Pyro" Martinelli and paratrooper Joe Liebgott are forced to navigate their star-crossed romance at the worst possible time. With the knowledge that one or both of them could end up dead before the war's end, will their secret love survive the horrors that await them or break under the pressure? Simultaneously, as he prepares to send her into enemy territory, first-time case officer/handler Lewis Nixon struggles to shoulder the ever-present fear that the agent he's come to see as his little sister may not make it back alive.

A/N: Here it is!! Y'all know the drill lol, everything BoB is strictly based on the miniseries & my own headcanons, not the real-life ppl. Also pls be nice to me, this is the first thing I've written since like 2018-2019. It'll get better hopefully lol. (And yes, I'm making y'all wait for that coveted first interaction between Lieb x Alix lol bc I'm evil) 💖

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47 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Beside You (Ron Speirs x Reader Oneshot)

Pairing: Ron Speirs x Female!Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

For @brassknucklespeirs (Happy birthday, lovely!! I hope you like this💖 )

A/N: Me, using a Marianas Trench song for a ficlet? You’re damn right lol 😆

When your tears are spent

On your last pretense

And your tired eyes refuse to close

And sleep in your defense

You didn’t let yourself cry until you were alone, Ron knew that much, so when he saw you disappear into the stillness of the frigid Bastogne night, he knew exactly where you were headed. 

The days of ruthless shelling by the Germans had felled several trees in the nearby area, splintering them to bits…all except one, which lay across the snow a good 8-10 feet away from the rows of foxholes, tucked away behind a steep embankment, away from view. 

It was the perfect place to seek refuge for a brief second and as the company’s only combat nurse, God, did you need it. Try as he might, Doc Roe couldn’t be everywhere at once and that was where you came in. 

From your first day with Easy, you’d made it your mission to get to know every single trooper so that even in the heat of battle, when someone screamed “Medic!”, you could recognize their voice in an instant and get there. You would talk to them as you treated them, about anything they wanted: their families, their hometowns, sports teams, films, whatever they needed to keep them focused and awake. These men were trusting you with their lives and you would not let them down. You were friendly, hardworking, and dedicated to your field and your company; you never let gunfire or explosions hinder you. If you were needed, you were there. 

It was your warm and selfless nature that had first caught the eye of the infamous Ronald Speirs. You captivated him. How could someone so generous, so full of life, be here, in a place like this? You were an angel trapped in Hell but it didn't dim your shine, not even for a moment. You would give the shirt off your back to anyone who needed it, always the first to lend a hand and the last to quit at the day's end. 

Your vitality and generosity meant that you made friends easily, something that the withdrawn and mysterious Ron so envied. Like a magnet, people just gravitated towards you, happy to bask in your energetic glow, and Ron would watch quietly from the sidelines with a goofy smile on his face like a smitten schoolboy. You were like human sunshine, a balm to his hardened & war-torn soul.

When it's in your spine

Like you've walked for miles

And the only thing you want is just to

Be still for a while

But Bastogne…Bastogne was a whole different beast, even for someone as dynamic and exuberant as you. The conditions were abysmal, supplies almost nonexistent, and tensions running sky-high. 

 Most of the men you treated were lovely and appreciative of your care, but some… some weren’t. 

You'd first heard the mutterings after the deaths of two Replacements. One had been shot by a sniper that no one had spotted in time and the other had taken the brunt of a particularly nasty firefight. Campbell and Ulrich were both good kids and in both cases, you had done your best with what little you had but it just wasn’t enough. The wounds were too severe and you didn't have the equipment needed to perform a surgery that risky nor could you do it by yourself, on the battlefield of all places. All you could do was kneel beside them, hands bathed in blood, and whisper broken apologies for not being able to do more as they passed.

Eugene, all too familiar with this sort of loss, told you that you needed to forgive yourself. 

“There was nothin’ more you coulda done for 'em, cher,” he said as he handed you half of a bandage he'd scavenged. 

But in your heart, you just couldn’t believe that and neither could some of the boys. 

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60 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ask-kid]

Monday (Again X 1524)

I think this was a long time coming but I think it’s time I made this post, 

it’s pretty obvious but I’ve moved on from this ask blog and from the kindergarten Fandom in general, So after tomorrow this account will be put to rest and inactive. 

Final thoughts below:

Whoever this was Thank you for your concern, To answer your question: 

//Yes I am safe and everything is all good where I am, it’s just been very busy with School and other art projects I’m working on. 

and the reason why I haven’t updated in a long while is because over the years since I started the blog I’ve gotten some sketchy asks regarding shipping and even some NSFW questions regarding the characters (both about the Minors and adults) they just made me really upset and just extremely uncomfortable.

 I was fine with getting shipping questions so long as they didn’t ask the kids to do things that were considered romantic. But after awhile, it just got to the point where I was so tired of getting more questions about shipping than the actual game itself.

//Important Note: I’m not mad at anyone who’s sent an innocent question regarding ships, it’s just that as time went on I’ve just sort of became very uncomfortable with how questions went from “Oh, just innocent childhood crushes!” to Me finding out that at one point someone used one of my drawings without my knowledge for an NSFW fanfic cover. (that was a long time ago and I’ve already asked them to take it down and they did)

But the main reason as to why the blog is being archived now is because I’ve just simply moved on to different interests and games, and with me now being in college I started to just drift from the fandom as a whole due to school work. I’m making this post now because I didn’t want to just disappear without at least doing one last post for this blog.

//What’s happening about the Penny arc and the revamped Wine Red animatic

The wine red animatic has been put on hold due to school, I still have plans to finish it because it was still my first official animatic and I’d like to see how much I improved, but I don’t know when I’ll get back to it.

as for the Penny arc, I don’t have plans to finish it sadly, I loved the story I created for it but I just don’t have the energy anymore to draw long comics for it anymore.

For the ending I’ll leave that up to your own imagination, ( ^ u ^) 

[Final Message]

Even though I’m not going to be updating this blog anymore, I met so many amazing people and artists through this fandom, I loved this game mainly because I was a sucker for problem solving games and I just love how everyone created so many stories and ideas from such a simplistic concept.

I created this blog in 2017 when this fandom was so small, and I never expected this blog to make it so far as it did. I didn’t expect for this blog to even last as long as it has. But I’m glad I did, I feel like my art style has grown a lot since I created it, and in the end improving my art style was the end goal for this blog. 

 A lot of stories from my oc’s ‘Baby’ and George (Kid’s family) to Sunny the cat originating from an ask, Ghost Billy, the random shenanigans, and even the serious story arcs, were fun things I got to do because you guys interacted with them and showed so much support and enjoyed these funky lil characters just as much as I did.

This fandom will always have a special place in my heart, since it was one of the longest fandoms I ever stayed in, So from the bottom of my heart for the last time on this blog.

//Thank you for all the support and love you all showed this funky lil’ blog, I wish you all a safe Monday today and for all the Mondays to come.

[chewingthescenery]

why all my wips hate me | Writing Update

(hey so note from the future I started writing this post so long ago - when I first decided to revamp my writing life. It’s been like six months since then. So like, that’s why I start using my shift key halfway thru)

the problems

remember when i did that whole wip intro for that one camp nano novella and then never talked about it again? well, it’s because i had to kill it before it killed me. from the start of this blog, pretty much all i’ve ever talked about was all the wips that i never fucking finish. i’ve only ever had two wip intros that were about finished projects. and those projects all had something in common: they were songs. they were poems. they weren’t fiction.

i’ve always wanted to write fiction because i’m a writer and that’s what writers do. i wrote poetry and songs a lot - wrote collections of poems and albums of songs - but that didn’t matter. it was about the fiction. the fiction that i never finished. every novel: abandoned, picked up again, revamped, abandoned. every short story: first draft half finished, never edited, hidden away in shame. 

with fiction, i was always wondering “am i reading enough? am i writing enough?” meanwhile, i was writing “sublime,” “frolic,” “Too young.” “Loveless,” “even if you’re not,” and “i hope you’re haunted”. then there was the poetry collections “Godworship,” “The Science of Lust,” “Anhedonia,” and “humans have the wrong anatomy”. all finished. how could i fall on my face with fiction so often, but not with anything else?

i realized it was because i treated fiction like it was sacred. “real writers write fiction.” “the only work i do that matters is fiction.” “i’ll only be accomplished once i write a novel.” i also treated reading novels like it was sacred. i kicked myself every time i had to return a book to the library without finishing it. so what the fuck is wrong with me? GAD is my guess, but the jury’s still out on that one i guess. 

so what do?

my first step was dropping all those fiction projects that drained me so damn much. i’m freeing myself to put all of my focus into my new project: doing whatever the hell i want! i had to watch a lot of @coffeeandcalligraphy videos to reach that conclusion. 

and then i had to ask, “wait, do i even like fiction?” there are a few books i do like, yes. i really like “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous,” “The Bell Jar,” and “My Year of Rest and Relaxation”. but, with everything else, there are times were i’m completely obsessed with how the best songs/poems/tv shows work, but does that happen with fiction? or am i only obsessed with the idea of being able to make a fiction piece that works? writing fiction feels more like a duty than a hobby and, honestly, that fucking sucks. 

i also realized that i treated fiction like prose instead of like a story. and don’t get me wrong, prose gets me out of bed in the morning, but novels are supposed to tell stories. but when i try to read a book, i’m doing it because it’s what i’m supposed to do, and when i try to write a book, i’m doing it because that’s what i’m supposed to do. so what do? don’t write fiction if i don’t actually want to. don’t write it if i don’t get a thrill from doing it. 

in a certain tumblr post i’m sure you’ve all read, someone said that if you don’t like what you’re writing, something’s wrong. i realized what was wrong was not some gap in my knowledge of craft or some ill-conceived plot - it was the fact that i wasn’t writing because i loved it. i was writing just to prove it to myself that i could. and that’s some deadly pride. so now, the rule is, i’m not allowed to write a fiction unless i actually want to, unless i have a story to tell. and i’m not allowed to read unless i want to read, unless i’m not even thinking about that stupid fucking goodreads reading challenge. 

but without fiction, who am i? 

someone with a whole lot of wips to talk about 🤠

fuck yes finally

SONGS + ALBUMS:

So, along the lines of only doing what I want cause I’m the writer and I make the rules, I’ve decided to only write songs the way I want to write them. According to everyone online ever, you write the lyrics and the melody of a song at the same time. Problem is, I get most of my song ideas on the bus or in the middle of the night—i.e. not the best time to be singing into your phone. So I’ve just been writing the lyrics and decided I’ll only add a melody when I feel like it. Revelatory, I know.

With this ingenious process, I've started writing another ep, this one called "Baby blue". It's an indie folk, Daughter/Lana Del Rey/Hayley Williams' Flowers For Vases-inspired litany of self-loathing and codependency. Yes very on brand, I know.

POETRY:

So, “humans have the wrong anatomy” has grown in the middle of the night. It’s shaping up to be the size of an actual chapbook at this rate. Also, the title is actually in title case now.

SCRIPTS:

I am addicted to teen drama. There’s two I’m sitting on right now - CRICKETS, SICKLY GREEN and MANNEQUIN CHILDREN. And! There’s also? An animated film? Which is a reimagining of “Tangled”??? Yes you read that right, it’s not a reimagining of Rapunzel, its a reimagining of Tangled, the Disney movie.

GAMES????:

So. You see how fast my brain comes up with shit when I stop writing fiction? There's a? Social simulation art game? That I'm making a pitch for? Its called "dawn breaks like a fever". Well actually, that's the short version of the title, the full one is "dawn breaks like a fever & you are no better for it".

~~also I might start planning a dating sim soon too~~

FICTION:

When you take so long writing a single Tumblr post that you outgrow the very premise of it. Anyway! I write fiction again! 2 books and a short story collection that’s too much of a mess to ever be called a book. The novels are “Carrion Crow” (which is actually a novella) and “Terrestrials”. These are books I cannot shake for the life of me, at this point they’re extensions of my person. And short stories! I’ve been writing one or two of those. My main problem is that, sometimes, in an attempt to achieve the Short I end up forgetting to include the Story, so... (No but fr my short stories at some point just sound like personal essays where I’m just straight up lying)

The end!

[literallytouko]

it’s not just a phase, MOM

If the stereotype of a man going through his mid-life crisis is getting obsessed with younger women and sports cars, and generally acting younger than he is, does me reviving my hyperfixations with things I was obsessed with when I was 14//15 years old mean that I’m going through my mid-life crisis NOW, and I’m gonna die in my early 60s? With the way we’re treating the environment, at least, that seems possible.  ANYWAY, this is my way of telling you that my schoolgirl crush on Cillian Murphy, and specifically the character Scarecrow, is, to no one’s surprise more than my own, back in effect.

It’s honestly interesting to have this crush revived literally like....half my life later. More time has passed since I first became interested in the actor/character than I was alive at the time the movie came out. It’s funny what’s changed, and what’s stayed the same. It’s also interesting really digging into what I found attractive about the character (besides just the obvious, being the actor) and like....self psycho-analyzing, like, what does that say about me? Hopefully nothing too concerning, haha.  I’ve been digging up fanfiction I wrote (of which surprisingly little still exists -- or perhaps not so surprisingly since most of it was scribbled on ruled paper, passed between myself and a few friends during PE classes). What I can find isn’t....terrible. I’ve lightly edited some of it and wondered if any of it would be worth re-sharing somewhere, although I don’t know with whom. The friends I had in that community, I’m well out of touch with, and who knows if they even care anymore, even if I did reach out. I also have been listening to others’ fan playlists, and re-making and revamping my own (so long 8tracks, hello Spotify, hahaha). Even going back through my own blog, looking at posts I wrote and re-blogged as recently as a decade ago, has brought me an immense sense of nostalgia and joy. Along with the content itself, it reminded me what a community tumblr used to be for me, in a number of different fandoms, the Bat-fandom being one of them. The nature of being in a fandom has changed so much just in my own lifetime, it blows my mind. The internet is truly a place where time marches forward unabated. I’ve also been thinking a lot about my Scarecrow cosplay which was one of my first ever real ones, my Scarecrow mask of which I’m still IMMENSELY PROUD but I....actually don’t even know where it is anymore. I have absolutely no idea. I sort of want to make it again but I have no idea if I could re-make it as well as the original one. I’m rambling.  If you’re reading this and you’re a Scarecrow / Jonathan Crane / Batman Begins fan, HI HELLO, feel free to introduce yourself. Let me know if I should share my playlist, my fanfics, should I start writing more? 

[carissimipaixao]

So, I was tagged for this little game by @hikarry and, just like any unstable person, instead of sleeping, I grabbed my laptop and I’m going to do the game now 😌

1. Why did you choose your URL?

Well, I used to be shay-makes-my-luck and I had another secondary blog where I was posting, ahem, little thoughts and “cute” (read: cringy) poems or things to my crush who would never see those posts. It was called dearpaixao and eventually I recycled that name for my fanfiction blog. It sounded cuter and shorter than the first name, which also made me appear too “one-fandom centric”, if that makes sense.

I ended up taking a long break from fanfiction, in the middle of 2018. Complicated stuff going on, and I didn’t feel satisfied? Plus, I was constantly running into writer’s blocks.

When I came back in 2019, I feel somewhat “distant” from my old writing, style-wise and maybe even the person I was back then. But, I was still very much in love with dearpaixao. So, I decided to create carissimipaixao, where I would start from scratch! It’s actually as if you only added “[dear]est” to the previous username and then translated it to Latin.

My previous blog is still up, though as an archive. It’s embarassing, actually.

2. Any side blogs?

This blog is one! And, like I said, dearpaixao is still up, though for archive reasons.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Probably since 2014? Officially began posting here on 2016.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Well, not really? I have programmed a few posts (such as Six Sentence Sunday and WIP Wednesday), and I have contemplated programming fanfiction stories, as well. Though, since I also have to cross-post on AO3, I don’t really do it.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Dearpaixao (or, shay-makes-my-luck) was created because I wanted to begin posting Shay Cormac fanfiction. Sha[y]melessly. Then, this one was because I wanted to start anew, as if I was a completely different person as I was back in dearpaixao. Though, to this day, I wonder if I should’ve just continued on the same blog.

6. Why did you choose you icon/pfp?

It’s actually a photograph of the faceclaim I have chosen for my Glory and Carnations fanfiction! Her name is Mikaela Lupu.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Currently, don’t have one.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Fondness, my official first fanfiction for Lupin, with 123 notes 💖🥺

Previously, it would’ve been Raging Saints, which may be revamped soon.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Overall, maybe between 6 and 8, but in terms of how close I am with them, then it’d be 2. They know who they are.

10. How many followers do you have?

Currently, 111 ohh angel number

My archive blog has recently passed 300, but I still wonder why people bother to follow that blog when it’s clearly inactive.

11. How many people do you follow?

210.

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Nope.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Well, I open it a lot when I’m bored, when I want to see what’s up on my dashboard. So, I’ll open it a few times throughout the day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

I don’t think I have, no. Though, I think I’ve nearly had one recently, though with an Anon.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts?

If it’s interesting, if it’s helpful, if it may help me, then sure, I’ll reblog it.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes. I love interacting with people!

17. Do you like ask games?

Same as tag games. I’ve done a few, I guess? Though, not as many as I actually would’ve loved to do 😂

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Well, @latte-to-go deserves all the recognizition in the world for her writing and amazing plots! The thought she puts into everything? Stunning. A true role model when it comes to writing, outlining and planning stories/series. Do check out her work! She’s the reason I even created shay-makes-my-luck and, later, carissimipaixao!

I’m tagging, though no pressure: @peachy-is-obsessed @who-wants-chicken-nuggets @t0pidelaayy @mechanical-fingers @softthotanon

Whoever wants to do this, feel free to join in! And tag me if you do, eheh!

[larularo]

check in tag ✔️

thank you so much @pixeldemographics for the tag!! 💖 it’s been a while since I answered these kinds of posts.

why did you choose your url?

This is my 3rd url btw! (previously silly-daydream and myshvno). I wanted a more distinct url that isn’t just random or related strictly to sims, since I talk about other games from time to time. Laru-laro means “to play/playing” in Tagalog, which is pretty apt for this blog.

any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

Just my cc finds blog @larularo-cc and my simspiration blog @mamaya-laro under this main one.

how long have you been on tumblr?

Uhh I was 12/13 when I made my first blog (which has since been deactivated), soooo 2009/2010? I witnessed the cursed superwholock era, if that counts.

do you have a queue tag?

It’s just “q”, but I kinda want to go with “right behind queue” as a Mass Effect reference, maybe next time.

why did you start your blog in the first place?

I decided to search other people’s sims gameplay and found out about other people’s stories and custom content, and I ended up making a simblr bc it seems fun!

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It’s my simself, bc why not; I actually want to change it with one of my sims, Clementine, but haven’t gotten around to pick and edit a new profile pic yet.

why did you choose your header?

There’s no header atm, I like the minimalism for now.

what’s your post with the most notes?

My In Your Element eyeset, which is pretty unexpected ngl

how many mutuals do you have?

Tbh idk, is there a way to check? 

how many followers do you have?

Too many for someone who’s on her third blog revamp, most of them are probably inactive/deactivated too.

how many people do you follow?

408

have you ever made a shitpost?

I did before! Though I purged most of my posts pre-2017.

how often do you use tumblr each day?

Right now I restrict being online during the weekends since I want to focus my energy on work during weekdays.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Nope, I try to stay in my lane as much as possible. 

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Ugh it does the opposite effect on me and makes me want to ignore it on my dashboard even more.

do you like tag games?

Yeah! They’re really fun.

do you like ask games?

Yeah!!! Though my current saves aren’t fleshed out yet to warrant storytelling asks, they seem fun when other ppl do it.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

First that comes to mind is @squea, which I’m still in disbelief until now bc she has such great character designs and cc! There’s more, but I’ll be writing this post for far too long.

do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope!

tags?

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to/have already made this, but tag, you’re it!

@hotpatched @aggretsimko @squea @wooldawn @helloavocadooo @cherryfangs

[withoneheadlight]

I was tagged by @memes-saved-me <3<3<3<, Thank you, love <3<3<3<

~

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s because, one day, just a few months after starting to write again, feeling like I was sweating blood every time I had to sit down and do this, Neil Gaiman made me feel the most understood I‘ve ever felt when it comes to writing:

“It's a weird thing, writing.

Sometimes you can look out across what you're writing, and it's like looking out over a landscape on a glorious, clear summer's day. You can see every leaf on every tree, and hear the birdsong, and you know where you'll be going on your walk.

And that's wonderful.

Sometimes it's like driving through fog. You can't really see where you're going. You have just enough of the road in front of you to know that you're probably still on the road, and if you drive slowly and keep your headlamps lowered you'll still get where you were going.

And that's hard while you're doing it, but satisfying at the end of a day like that, where you look down and you got 1500 words that didn't exist in that order down on paper, half of what you'd get on a good day, and you drove slowly, but you drove.

And sometimes you come out of the fog into clarity, and you can see just what you're doing and where you're going, and you couldn't see or know any of that five minutes before.

And that's magic.”

He summed it up in another interview like this:

“Writing a novel is like driving through the fog with one headlight out. You can’t see very far ahead of yourself, but every now and again the mists will clear.”

i printed it and got it on my wall, too. so i don't forget.

and guess what’s one of my all-time favorite songs? yeah, you got it :D

also, that's the amount of mental enlightenment I go through life with: half the standard equipment. So it fits me pretty well i guess.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

yeah i’ve got a few. most of them to stash things i like, in general or in other fandoms, but in harringrove i have @thequarryatnight as a fic/hc storage of sorts.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

uh, technically a few years?. I've had a few different accounts that I always ended up forgetting about. But had never really used Tumblr until this past last year and a half.

4. do you have a queue tag?

I use the most simplistic 'queue' ... when I remember to put it on XD (which, I should, because I'm always so worried people think I'm in here ignoring them when in reality what I usually have is the longest queue)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Uh, long and boring story? xD. I started posting harringrove in my main a few months after I started using the account again, along with posts/reblogs for other fandoms. But with Tumblr being the chaos it is (for me at least, and for the way my poor add brain works) it felt pretty overwhelmed, having so many different things in one place, and never being able to find anything so I decided to make this one side-blog only for posting my fics, but then people started following me here and suddenly there were a bunch of them and then suddenly it felt like it made more sense?, rebloging things in here where more people could see them? so I made @thequarryatnight and started reblogging my stuff in there, so I wouldn't get crazy, and started using this as a more fandomish blog.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I love pictures taken from the side? xD, they’ve got this feeling, of looking at someone without them noticing. there’s a longing in there that’s always fascinated me, and steve’s breathtaking in this one (same as billy in my main pic, imo). i like to think billy'd look at him and think ‘fuck’, fall in love for the hundredth time so, yep. I love that pic.

7. why did you choose your header?

Is a picture of Santa Carla at night, aka Santa Cruz, where Lost Boys was filmed. Is my second favorite fictional town (first is Astoria i might have a list) and the feeling of it is just *chef’s kiss*. Had to have it. But I’m thinking of revamping it for the summer? maybe? I’ve got a few ideas, it’s been hard to decide, but I wanna bring out the summery vibe this year.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

it’s apparently my upside-down kiss one! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out (i used this page since I had 0 idea of how to check this)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i honestly don't know, but they all are amazing mutuals <3

10. how many followers do you have?

one of the best things about tumblr: doesn't show the follower count <3 (imo)

11. how many people do you follow?

about 1000? xD

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

if saying the first stupid thing that comes to my head in here is considered a shit post, then,t o o m a n y.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I've been trying to reduce the number of times I come checking but still, way too many :D

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nope. never. sometimes i want to leave my opinion in some posts, but i still feel pretty insecure about the language, so i'm perpetually afraid of being misunderstood.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts

the ones with something good/bad is gonna happen if you don't reblog? i usually scream internally while i fast-scroll past them while both feeling like bwahhahaha and scared shitless.

16. do you like tag games?

oh i LOVE tag games too much.

17. do you like ask games?

very very much. even if sometimes i repent bc it's hard for me to find the time to answer them xD.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

dunno but @chichipafarolillos is my personal superstar <3

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no xD but I really really <3<3<3 my mutuals.

20. tags?

@ghostofjellyfishforgotten @missroserose @rascheln @neonponders @cockasinthebird @thatharringrovehoe @edith-moonshadow @dyingontheharringrovehill @wholeshebangs @irishbeings @smashmouth-hargrove @mourntheantagonist @aestheticchaoss @somuchanemoia @cupidsintern

[igotbellarkeforthat]

Tagged by these lovely human beans @nathanmillers @immortalpramheda @ninappon @togetherkru and @infp-with-all-the-feelings

1. Why did you choose your url?

BECAUSE THE WAY BELLAMY BLAKE LOOKED CLARKE GRIFFIN RIGHT IN THE FACE AND SAID “I GOT YOU FOR THAT” WITH SO MUCH SOFTNESS AND TENDERNESS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ENDED ME.

Ahem.

2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

Nope!

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since July 26, 2014. But I didn’t actually post anything on Tumblr until 2017, I think.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Yep! ‘i’ll give that to queue’

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I’m pretty sure I came to Tumblr looking for Burzek content. Chicago PD was one of the first shows I got really into, but none of my friends or family watched it, so I looked into Tumblr and now I’m stuck here and will probably never leave. (Jk I love it here)

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because the Shadow and Bone series made my Malina dreams come true, and I thought the colors and vibes of this scene were pretty.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I made it myself because Bellarke owns my soul

8. What post of yours has the most notes?

This one from Season 6 of The 100 when I was still young, naïve, and full of hope

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I’m not exactly sure, but there are quite a few of you, and I love you all so much 😘

10. How many followers do you have?

599! Every time I hit 600, it’s a porn bot and I block, so I’ve been sitting here for the last week or two.

11. How many people do you follow?

235

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Haha, I’ve made several crack posts, but all my shitposting goes on inside my head. 🙃

13. How often do you use Tumblr?

It depends on the day, honestly. I usually get in a quick scroll at least once a day, but I haven’t been on here as much since The 100 ended. I will be participating in the newly revamped BFSN every week though. And I’ve been on here for like 2 hours this morning trying to catch up on tag games haha.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog? Who won?

I had one person try to start a fight on a post I made about showrunners needing to respect the critical thinking skills of their audience. I just told them I didn’t need them to agree with me on an opinion I posted to my personal blog, and then they left me alone.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to compare this’ posts?

I’m not sure what this is tbh. Anyone know and wanna help a girl out?

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! (sometimes it takes me like a month to get around to them, but I swear I will do them!)

17. Do you like ask games?

I do, but I don’t do a whole lot of them outside of like, BWC, because a lot of times people just don’t see them in the vastness of the Tumblr dash.

18. Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

ALL OF YOU. EVERY SINGLE ONE I CAN’T BELIEVE ALL THE COOL PEOPLE THAT FOLLOW ME BACK ❤

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No crushes, no. But have I made some of the sweetest, most talented friends and acquaintances and am I in constant awe of their kindness and creativity? YOU BETCHA. 🥰

20. tags (if you guys want to)

@bookwormforalways @natassakar @spacebell and anyone else who would like to!

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡