#I did actually go to chili’s yesterday

[fluttersharpi]

So I went to Chili’s yesterday.. 🦋🧱🍔

[afyrian]

my plus one atsumu miya x fem!reader (fluff) m.list | wc: 871 | prompts: fake dating

    "just act natural!"

  "anyone acting natural wouldn't be dating you-"

  "okay, could you just shut up then?" you question, arm wrapped around atsumu's, a fake smile gracing your face. 

  the two of you enter your cousin's wedding reception, the old italian atmosphere garnering a romantic feeling... if you were with anyone other than atsumu miya. the inside of your elbow interlocks with his arm, hand resting in front of your ensemble. "you are the one who invited me, remember?" he whispers into your ear, keeping an obnoxious smile on his face. 

  "only because you were the only one in town after the tournament," you whisper back, giving your other cousins a wave, trying to hold your smile. 

  he turns to look at you, stopping you in your tracks. his eyes are wide as his hand rests below your elbow, fingers grazing your upper arm. biting his lip, the tips of his shoes touching yours, “you’re such a charmer.. now if you really want to convince them, you’ll let me wrap my arm around your waist.”

  “taking this boyfriend role a little seriously, aren’t you?” you question, narrowing your eyes, hands reaching up to his biceps. 

  atsumu shrugs, raising his right hand to push back pieces of your hair. “only as much as you are sweetheart,” he looks past you and at your cousins, the bride included.

  they’re standing together in a group, chowing down on hors d’oeuvres featuring classic italian flavors. the maid of honor leans against the table, eyes wide open as she spots the two of you together. inciting a domino effect, she alerts the rest of the bridal party to your presence, making note of the man attached to your hip.

  atsumu smirks to himself as you roll your eyes. trying to play it up, his hand moves smoothly from your elbow to your back, pushing you slightly towards him. “now, your cousins are watching, you want to go say hi?” he smiles, raising his eyebrows, reveling in the acting performance of a lifetime. 

  “oh i would love to hon,” you tilt your head, tapping his chest with your hand before turning around to meet your fate.

  atsumu’s hand stays on your back, lowering only slightly to reach your waist. the rest of the reception runs smoothly, people dancing on the floor, the groom talking to a few of his friends. walking up to your cousin, you hold out your hands, moving into a hug, “alisa! i have to say, your wedding was beautiful. and this reception? i’m so happy i was able to come.”

  “i’m so happy you could too y/n! god i haven’t seen you in forever, and especially not since you’ve gotten with your boyfriend… who is??” she sets down her plate onto the table, hands clasped together with an excited smile on her face. 

  “atsumu miya, you might’ve seen me, i’m on japan’s national volleyball team. that’s actually how we met, right babe?” he squeezes you into his side, making sure your family can see just how ‘in love’ he is. 

  looking up at him, you purse your lips, sighing. “yes, i remember like it was yesterday. i was doing some paperwork for their team, and i ended up having to stay late. when someone,” you look up at him, a soft smile on your lips, “brought in some food, and offered it up. although, it wasn’t the perfect meet cute. he ended up spilling chili oil all over me.”

  “to be fair, you were trying to take some of my food and i was just protecting it-”

  “you had way more food than i did, besides, i know for a fact that the meal planner didn’t want you eating any of that because of the upcoming games,” you lean back, shaking your head.

  the bridal party watches with amusement as you bicker, already acting like an old married couple. reaching her hand out, you grab ahold of alisa’s hand, giving her a soft smile, “okay okay, atsumu, would you mind getting us a few drinks so i could talk to my cousin?”

  nodding his head, he lifts his hands up, “yes, i can definitely get those for you. i’m assuming from the punch table. have fun babe.”

  watching as he walks away, alisa immediately starts badgering you for more information. your first thoughts of him, how long you’ve been together, whether you’ve gone to any of games as his ‘girlfriend’ yet. the question that stood out to you the most is when she asks ‘do you love him?’. 

  “love him? i don’t know, maybe? i mean he annoys the living hell out of me. and i probably won’t tell him this, at least not till we’re dating longer, but i do think i care about him. in our own way, you know?” you shrug, rubbing your thumb against her hand, “but enough about me, how’s it feel to be married to the love of your life?”

  atsumu peeks over at the two of you, holding a few glasses on a tray he was able to steal from catering. listening to the sweet sounds of you figuring out that maybe you don’t actually hate atsumu for the night he ruined your favorite sweater… 

a/n: thank you so much for requesting @thestorytellercattie !! i hope you like it

gen. taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

[atschoolunfortunetly]

Sonic and Tails Wholesome Wednesday: My Comeback

I LIVE! I going to be honest with ya; this is simply a draft I rewrote in my free time. I don't know if I will be posting every single Wednesday again. I can try but don't have hope. In any case, enjoy the story!

~~~~~

Tails was working away in his workshop with no distractions. He was near completion when a knock on his door startled him and his head nearly whipped around so fast that one would think he broke it.

Sonic walked in without Tails saying a word and had one expression on his face that Tails knew meant he was in for a lecture. Disappointment.

“Tails,” He began tiredly.

“Sonic,” Tails greeted back, hoping not to show nervousness on his face.

“What happened to the mint ice-cream I just bought yesterday?”

Oh, and here Tails thought he did something seriously wrong. Nerves left his body as a slight grin grew on his face.

“...I ate it.”

“All of it?”

“Yes.”

Silence before Sonic let out the biggest sigh Tails had ever heard come from his mouth.

“Tails.”

“Sonic.”

“You know the consequences, don’t you?”

Tails tried not to chuckle, “I have fifteen seconds to hide before you hunt me down?”

“Nah, that’s for if you had the last chili-dog. The punishment for this is,” Sonic paused for dramatic effect, “Death! Execution! Thine bloodline ends here brother!”

“Gasp, you’re gonna kill me? How could thine? I thought our bond was stronger than this!” Tails spoke dramatically.

“Our bond shattered when you ate an entire carton of mint ice cream by yourself even though I told you not to. I’ll grant you this question though brother, how do thine wish to go out? Your choice,” Sonic smiled, trying not to laugh.

“Uh, hm,” Tails faked pondering, “How about no? No death at all.”

“No? Thine denies his fate!? Then I shall choose!” Sonic declared before tapping his feet and snapping his fingers, trying to think out a way he can continue the bit.

Tails took this opportunity to get up from his chair and bolt for the nearest window. Sonic, having too much fun, used this chance to run into the house to pick up two plastic swords before meeting Tails outside.

He tossed one of the swords over to Tails and twirled the other in his hand, “Thou can’t escape his fate! We shall duel!”

Tails looked shocked at first before giggling. He then got in a fighting stance with a grin, “Fight we shall! Only one brother can make it out alive!”

The plastic swords clashed as Sonic and Tails began going back and forth with swings and jabs only barely missing their marks. Sonic decided he would put some actual effort in and Tails began losing…badly. He tried his best, honest! But his arms were getting tired and his moves were getting sloppy.

Tails tripped over his own feet, landing backwards on the ground getting his fur dirty. The fake sword in Sonic’s hand poked him lightly in the chest. His brother had a big grin on his face while Tails was simply trying to catch his breath, not caring that they lost their little game. His stomach let out a growl and Sonic sighed.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked.

“Uh…” Aw crud, what was the last thing he ate? “I…I think I accidentally ate a fly just a bit ago. Does that count?”

“No, eating unlucky flies does not count,” Sonic flatly stated before pulling out his phone, “Pizza or Chinese?”

“Chinese, we had pizza yesterday,” Tails answered with a sigh.

“Alrighty, you go in and take a shower and the food should be back by then.”

Tails pulled himself off the ground with a smile and looked Sonic in the eye, “Next time, I’m going to win!”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh!”

Sonic chuckled, “Alright then, when you do I’ll buy another carton of mint ice cream.”

Tails laughed and made his way back inside without replying. Sonic simply shook his head with a smile, “God, what would I do without this kid.”

[writersdare]

Korean Quest | Bang Chan 방찬 Drabble

Pairing: boyfriend!Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: One day Y/N spontaneously decided to cook Korean dish for Chan.

Warning: fluff, mentioning of food

Word Count: 631 (drabble)

Author’s Note: This one was so fun to write! It was nice experience to try something light for a change, as usually angst is a must-have in my works. I hope you'll enjoy reading it ♡ Please, keep in mind that I do not know how to cook the dish, and even though I did my research, there might be some mistakes. Requests are open ♡

Chan has been complaining about his favourite tteokbokki (떡볶이) being too spicy for almost an hour yesterday. It’s quite a mystery why he bought one with chili paste at first place, but Y/N didn’t ask many questions to avoid that conversation going for another hour or so. However, the next day, while she was having a lunch break at work, the girl decided to plan their dinner herself, texting Chan a short “let me do it”, so he wouldn’t order something ridiculous again. With all honesty, Y/N didn’t exactly plan to cook anything herself, but scrolling through the menu of a restaurant, the girl realised she really wanted to try to make something Korean. Indeed, it was rather scary, as her culinary skills were far from perfection, especially when it came to national cuisine of her boyfriend, yet she was eager to try. Making sure she had all ingredients she needed, Y/N turned on a YouTube video once again and started making tteokbokki with a non-spicy soy-based sauce. Time to time the girl was coming back to a thought that all of it was a bad idea, and she only hoped for the dish to be more or less edible. After few unsuccessful attempts, there finally was a plate of tteokbokki on the kitchen counter. The dish smelled delicious, and the taste was similar to the one she had tried in the restaurant last week. Y/N was proud of herself, even though she managed to turn the kitchen into a total mess during the cooking process. 

“What happened here?” Chan, coming back from a music studio, entered the room and observed the surrounding. “Did you have a party here?” he chuckled and glanced at a plate with some weird mixture next to a sink. It was Y/N’s first attempt of the sauce, and Chan was about to dip his finger in it. 

“Don’t!” the girl caught his wrist and stared at her boyfriend with a horror in the eyes, so he even got worried. “It’s a bad one. But I made another one, and it’s much better. I made tteokbokki for you,” her lips quickly stretched in a big and proud smile.

“You did what?” Chan raised the eyebrows and then just grabbed Y/N in a warm hug, making a funny happy noise. “Baby…” he squeaked, burring his face in her shoulder.

“You were so upset yesterday, so I decided to make it myself. It wasn’t easy, but…”

“Thank you,” he interrupted, smiling wider and only squeezing the girl in the cuddle tighter.

As Chan’s stomach made a hungry noise, they pulled away from each other, and Y/N  served a table in a living room. The musician promised to clean the kitchen himself after dinner. 

“Oh my god, it’s actually so good!” he exclaimed, stuffing a mouth with his favourite dish.

“Is it?” Y/N even forgot about her own portion, mesmerising by Chan, who looked adorably cute at that moment. Honestly, it was worth all the troubles to see him so happy.

“Yeah! What brand did you use?” the guy asked casually, eyes still focusing on the plate.

“Brand?”

“Yeah, it’s pre-made, isn’t it? The rice cake, garae-tteok?” Chan glanced at Y/N and caught her confused look. Y/N’s jaw dropped.

“So you ‘re telling me that I could just buy it in a shop rather than spending hours on making it?…” she asked and sighed disappointedly. 

The guy blinked few times and then giggled quietly, still chewing. Most of the ingredients for Korean dishes were pre-made and could be easily found in grocery stores. Y/N, though, went the hard way and did everything from the scratch. 

“You are so cute,” he chuckled and only continued to make happy noises, chewing.

– bonus –

– photos and a gif aren’t mine and belong to the rightful owner –

taglist: @yukichan67

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

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[randomvarious]

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A post shared by Red Hot Chili Peppers (@chilipeppers)

Seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform "Can't Stop" yesterday as part of the Paris Olympics' symbolic hand-off to LA gives me the perfect opportunity to tell you all something about the lineage of this song's very famous riff! So gather 'round!

Here's what you need to know: RHCP were not actually the first ones to officially release a song that sounded like this riff. Have a listen to this track by a band from Hamburg, Germany called the Cucumber Men, whose "Ich kenne den bruder" ("I Know the Brother") was issued as a single in 1996, around six years before "Can't Stop" ended up appearing on RHCP's By the Way:

So you obviously hear it, right? Both melody and guitar tone are *really* similar. And maybe you'd think, okay, this could just be a coincidence, though, right? I mean, people have incidentally made music that sounded remarkably similar to something else that had previously come out that they didn't know about. It happened with "Sweet Child o' Mine," didn't it?!

But here's a piece of info that thickens the plot: you know why these guys *also* chose to name themselves after a piece of produce? Because they actually started out as a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band! 🤯

So for years I thought I had this super interesting bit of trivia on my hands that most Americans and Wikipedia were both totally ignorant of. There was this band from Germany that idolized the Red Hot Chili Peppers who released an original single in the mid-90s, and then someone in RHCP or close to them became aware of that single, and then a bunch of years later, RHCP ripped it off to make "Can't Stop" themselves, which would become one of the most popular hits in their entire discography. Both crazy and pretty unethical!

But then one day I got some more crucial info that thankfully helped solve this whole mystery and ended up clearing RHCP of any wrongdoing. In *1985*, the Chili Peppers did a live performance in Germany on a nationally televised music program called Rockpalast, which you can watch on YouTube:

Here, at the very beginning of this set at the 1:30 mark, you can watch Flea open things up with the riff that would later go on to yield "Can't Stop"—around 17 years before the release of the song itself.

So in the end, the Cucumber Men likely had nothing to do with "Can't Stop." No one from RHCP had probably known about "Ich kenne den bruder," and even if they did, the idea for "Can't Stop" obviously originated with this riff that was played by Flea in this German set in 1985. What's far more likely is that at least one member from the Cucumber Men saw the Rockpalast set and decided to repurpose the opening Flea riff from it for their own band's single more than a decade later.

Fun adventure I just took you all on, though, right? 😅

[mudhamster]

CHWHWN: 15. December - "a meal"

Kacchan: wtf Why? Deku: hahah what is it Kacchan: *image attached* I don't know what I find weirder. Eating somewhere else with you or eating something you claim to have cooked Deku: I have my rice thingy!! And I can cut potatoes and fry meat too ᕦ⊙෴⊙ᕤ Kacchan: Equating frying meat with cutting potatoes is a red flag in itself Deku: Why? Kacchan: 'Why' he asks What do you want to cook? Curry? Deku: What do you want to eat? Kacchan: Curry. Deku: Ah. Ok. Curry then i guess haha Today? Kacchan: Today is Friday Deku: Shit, it's movie night. Well, then… Tomorrow? Evening? I think some of the others are home for the weekend. Or are we going to cook for everyone? Kacchan: No You and me on Saturday. I'll buy the meat. Deku: Then I'll buy the potato. Kacchan: And the rest Carrots Celery Onions Paprika chili pepper Curry cubes And not just one potato, you total culinary catastrophe!!!!!!! Deku: hm hm Watch out, bold question: Shall we go shopping together? Not the meat, Your Highness, but the rest? Kacchan: Would probably be for best …did you actually get everything you needed yesterday? There were only Doritos in the picture. Deku: Yes! And I wanted to ask something... What did you delete? Kacchan: If it was any of your business, it would still be there Deku: ಥ_ಥ

"We could have just cooked together, you know," Izuku pointed out, standing in the doorway with his arms full of bags of chips, pretzel sticks and crackers. Kacchan stood in front of him, scanned the selection and then picked out the Doritos, not caring if anything else fell out of his arms. But that didn't happen. "I know," he replied slowly, tucking the bag under his arm and licking his gums thoughtfully, "but it felt like shit knowing you all hang out together every fucking Friday. While I'm alone in my room." Izuku's eyes widened and he fought off a serious wave of pity. "That's actually the time you go to sleep…" he started to explain, but it sounded a bit pale on his tongue, "But we should have asked more often. I'm sorry." "Not your fault." … He closed his mouth and blinked at the boy in front of him, stunned. He was right, it wasn't his fault. But Izuku had the feeling that less than a month ago, he was to blame for EVERYTHING that went wrong in Kacchan's life. "The idiots accepted it too," he finally said, curling the corners of the chip bag and the second wave of pity hit Izuku harder than the first. "I'll ask you next time, Kacchan. Even if we just go to the mall after school." "You and your nerd gang?" Izuku nodded, thinking that the prospect of eating frozen yogurt at the mall with him and Shouto and Iida Tsuyu and Ochako wasn't something Kacchan would want to be a part of at all. "Yeah. We usually go when a new place opens. Last time it was churros. Before that, frozen yogurt. But it's just me and-" "Cool." "C-cool?" "Yeah," he growled into his face, then finally took a step back, leaving enough room for Izuku to step out of the space between Kacchan's solid body and the door, "Better than meeting at the arcade every other weekend and spending a bunch of money on stuffy air and empty hands." "Oh," Izuku breathed, blinking sideways, "that sounds really… not very smart." Kacchan reached behind him to close the door before Izuku could try to do that with a sleeve or an elbow. His internal mountain of astonishment and admiration grew with each of these actions. Kacchan carried the chips Izuku had bought for him in his arms and had picked him up from his room on the way to the common room. Besides, he assumed that their little conversation had led to the idea that Izuku would ask Kacchan… if he wanted to accompany them (HIM AND HIS FRIENDS, not particularly cool or badass!!) into the city. Right? He cleared his throat and started walking, "Just to make sure…" "Do you know the Nikoman booth? At the end of the main street by the library?" "Ugh. Yeah." "Dad told me they're going to add grilled meat and spareribs to the menu in the new year." ... if Izuku's arms weren't full, he would have squealed into his hands like a toddler at Christmas. That was the sweetest 'I want to be part of it' Izuku had ever heard. As it was, he could only bite his lips and watch Kacchan with raised eyebrows and eyes full of devotion as he grumpily finished his thought: "That would be something similar, wouldn't it? It's not a new place, but the menu-"

"Absolutely!" he interrupted him and Kacchan looked up as they reached the landing side by side.

His ears were red. A corner of his chip bag was suspiciously black. "This is definitely worth a visit," he repeated, and to relieve Kacchan of some of his tension, he awkwardly raised his overloaded arms: "My elbows still hurt from the day I fell down the stairs."

Red eyes flitted over his fingers and the many bags, "not to mention my back..."

Their eyes met.

"Could you maybe help me?"

Izuku saw that Katsuki took a deep breath. In a way that showed how agitated he actually was. But the moment passed quickly and he lifted enough of Izuku's burden that he could see the stairs at his feet and slowly began to walk down to the common room.

Kacchan followed at a minimal distance, but quickly caught up with him as Izuku threw him a fond, affectionate grin.

Every day felt more and more like… progress. Hope filled him to the tip of his nose and made his heart tingle for the rest of the evening.

[pbandjesse]

I'm just leaving an event and I just got the best time. Not even because of the event. Just because I got to be with Merrill, and our new coworker Jules, And I'm making closer friends with some of the caterers and one of them gave me a gift and it was so sweet. So I just feel really happy right now. I'm very tired but mostly just physically. Just today was a good day.

I didn't sleep amazing. I had trouble falling asleep when we got home. When we got back I brought some of the stuff in the house and James would make a couple trips to bring the rest that Jess had gifted us. And then James fell asleep way earlier than I did and I was very unsettled and struggling to fall asleep. And I felt like I woke up a lot so it wasn't the best thing ever. But it's okay.

I woke up at 7:00 and James accidentally knocked my phone out of my hand in a very dramatically bounced across the floor. And then I went to get dressed and realized I didn't have any more fluffy tights so I had to wear the ones I wore yesterday. Not ideal but it's fine. And it was going to be very blustery today so I tried to layer and I think I did a pretty good job. And I would wear a hat to keep my little head warm. Though my hair got very tangled from all the wind.

James had loaded up the car already so we were able to leave pretty quickly. We stopped for McDonald's and then got over to the harbor. It was nice to be at the museum and see all the other vendors. But it was a very late day. Not a lot of people there but also not a lot of vendors.

James help me set up and then they went inside. And I actually did really well. I made about $100. And it was really nice talking to people and getting to work on some sewing. But man was the wind exhausting.

Even with a couple of the sides put down we were struggling out there. The sides were popping out of place and they're dangerous when they get out of their ruts because their metal bars on the bottom. And it's just like feels very tense in your body when you're trying to make sure nothing goes flying off your table literally the entire time. So it was not the most fun but I had some nice conversations and I am really excited about the people who bought bears today. They were all very happy and it made me feel good.

And I got to talk about different aspects of my work like with the printmaking. And got some of the classes that I teach and it was just really nice.

And the family came and picked up the penguin. His name is Billy which I did not know. And they were so excited. The youngest son came over first and he basically screamed then the oldest son came over and he was yelling for his mom to come see. And she just looks so happy. And the way that she was holding him and brushing his little hair. And I was just so glad that I was able to bring him back to a better state. Her daughter, the little one that likes to sit with me and do projects, was also very excited and would be walking around the market holding him for the next half an hour. But they were so nice and I'm just so glad that I was able to help.

And like I said this before but I really like doing the teddy bear hospital but man is it stressful being in charge of what is usually someone's most prized possession. Like they're only paying to get this fixed because they care about it so much. And that's a big responsibility So I'm glad that so far I've been pretty successful.

At the end of the market I packed up and said goodbye. We only have one more for the season. And I went inside to find James but they weren't at the front desk. Sarah and a new educator she was training we're sitting up there so I sat and talked with them for a bit and then I went to find James who was helping with the key bridge family meeting. And I would give them a hug and tell them goodbye. And then I went home.

When I got back I would some of my stuff inside and I got changed. I had a bowl of chili which was very nice because I was a little shaky at that point. I had had a Pop-Tart between breakfast and then but my hands were just a little trembly. And I enjoyed my food and then I went to lay down.

The plan was to rest from around 2 to around 4:00. But at 3:30 I was startled awake by someone ringing the doorbell. Because we got a package. But then I couldn't fall back asleep and so I just kind of chilled in bed until it was time for me to get up.

When I got up I got dressed and fixed my hair and would head downstairs to wait for James to come home. I made stuffing. Only half a box. And James got back a little after 4:30.

I was glad that we got to sit together for a few minutes We are very much ships passing in the night sometimes. Cuz I had to leave pretty quickly. James promised to be there when I got back and asked if I could please give a formal goodbye to Merrill because they had not gotten the chance to before they left at the end of the day today So I promise to do that and and then I went to work.

And it was a lovely evening. It was a wedding but they had already gotten married earlier in the day so it was just the reception. And that's always fun because they can have a little bit more space degrees in their schedule. And Merrill was training with Jules tonight and she's great. She's older so it's nice to have someone that is not in our generational mindset but she's got great energy so I'm excited to work with her. And we talked about how to make a chase for a couple and it was just really pleasant.

I headed into the gallery, I was in the cannery tonight, to get started and one of the caterers, Teresa asked if I would be here for a few minutes. And I was like yeah of course I'll stand right here. And so I did make a loop but I was standing in the same spot when she did come back and find me. And I swear she was trying to make me cry because she knit me a baby blanket. She made me a whole little beautiful baby blanket and it was so sweet of her. And I could have cried but I didn't because I was a professional. But I gave her a big hug and thanked her and I made sure that we are now friends on Instagram because that's how you make friends. And it was just so kind of her to put in that effort for our baby. What a sweetheart.

And I was just in a great mood after that. I didn't have a ton of people come back into the exhibit but the dozen or so that did were very excited and I got to turn on some machines and chat with people and that is always fun. And at 7:00 we sent everyone to have dinner.

I went to sit at the front with Marilyn jewels and we fruit and appetizers and then I should Jules how to close down the cannery exhibit. And then we would have salads and eventually actual dinner. And a couple of the caters came to the front desk and we chatted and one of the boys tried to take Co credit for the blanket. And we were teasing him but it was all very fun and very sweet. Like what a nice night.

But I am not in charge of this event so I got to leave at 8:30. And I'm almost home now. I am very much ready to get changed and get into bed. My stomach hurts but I think it's because I'm actually feeling baby? Very unsure still because it just feels like I have a stomach ache but different. I wish someone could tell me exactly when I am feeling her but it's okay.

Tomorrow I have my awah class and then we're supposed to have dinner with James's parents for their birthday. I don't know where we're going yet but I hope it is fun. And I hope that tomorrow is just a really nice day.

I hope you all are having a good time out there. I hope that you stay safe. Good night everybody. Until tomorrow.

[kalikai]

Tepache made! 😁

Fermented pineapple softdrink!

You should make some too!

It's very yummy!

It's also probiotic I think!

You get to eat an entire fresh pineapple!

And then making this drink uses up the inedible parts of the pineapple that you don't eat!

And the yeast is just the free wild yeast that was already growing on the outside of your pineapple! (So don't wash the pineapple unless it's like, actually dirty, and also avoid buying one that's been pre-sanitized for you if that's a thing the shops near you do)

Production notes:

I don't have any fancy fermentation equipment. Just using empty plastic bottles that had mineral water in them - 1.25ml

Wrote labels on the outside of each bottle before beginning. Date and contents. Always important to do that when you're fermenting stuff, and I always do it at the beginning because it's easiest to do when the bottles are dry and empty. Just used a sharpie to write directly on the plastic: "16/11/24 tepache [variety]"

4 bottles per 1 pineapple is probably too much? Last time I made it I did 3 bottles, and there was plenty of rind/core for each bottle. Maybe I just used a bigger pineapple last time idk. Anyway, there's not a huuuge amount of pineapple rind in these bottles so idk how it will turn out. There's definitely enough yeast and sugar in there to get the fermentation going at least.

There's a bit over ½ a cup of sugar in each bottle? Couldn't find the measuring cups so I was using the liquid-measuring jug and just eyeballing it. Couple tablespoons of raw sugar and then topped up the rest with brown sugar. (Cuz there was the end of a package of raw sugar to use up, but plenty of brown, so I just divvied up the raw between the four bottles)

There's enough sugar in there for almost a litre of water to be saturated, and have some undissolved sugar fall out of suspension pretty quickly. Plus there's the additional sugars of the pineapple juice. Probably a little bit too much sugar, but it'll give the yeast plenty to eat so 🤷🏻‍♂️

Added a cup of so of water and gave the bottle a good shake to get the sugar somewhat dissolved:

Then I did the dry spices:

Half a stick of cinnamon in each bottle. This was comprised of one quarter stick of very old and very stale cinnamon that I found in the pantry, and one quarter stick of fresh brand new cinnamon that I bought yesterday. Should balance I hope 😅

Then some whole star anise, also pretty old but not too stale I don't think. Snapped them up into chunks and then put a bunch in each bottle. Like, enough to fill the centre of my cupped palm? Enough that you could pile into a single layer on a teaspoon? That much, more or less, per bottle.

Then cloves. Either 2 cloves per bottle if the clove was big & still had that little ball attached to the end, or 3 if it didn't and they were small cloves

Then some mace because I found it with the rest of my spices and had forgotten that I had it. Put, like, a thumbnail sized bit in each bottle.

Then a whole nutmeg which I crushed into big fragments and divided between the bottles

Then cubeb into the 'ginger' bottle and the 'ginger+chilli' bottle. I think like 3 seeds in the former and 4 or 5 in the latter?

Then red Sichuan into the 'chilli' bottle. Like 3 or 4 seeds?

And then a dried chili into the 'chilli' bottle. Idk which kind of chilli it is. It was red and the broken chunk I picked out of the package was about the size of my pinky finger (but the entire chilli would have been bigger than that). Still had its seeds inside.

Do your own spices however your heart desires, using up whatever you have at hand.

Then the wet ingredients:

Pineapple and water is all you actually need, but I was in the mood for experimenting so here's what I did

Zested a navel orange. One third of it into each of the 'orange', 'orange + ginger', 'orange + ginger + chilli' bottles.

Then fresh ginger into the relevant bottles. About the size of two bottlecaps worth for each bottle? Maybe a bit less? Sliced into thick chucks, which I scored and then crushed with the flat of the knife before dropping them in.

Then the star of the show: the pineapple!

Cut the whole thing into quarters so the amount per bottle would be measured out ahead of time

Working one bottle at a time, I further quartered the allocated quarter-pineapple, to make it easier to handle;

Sliced off the rind and the core, and put them into the bottles, first slicing the rind into strips (else it wouldn't fit through the narrow mouthes of the bottles!)

(Keeping the main of the flesh to eat on its own, of course (I have chemical burns on my tongue and the roof of my mouth from eating so much but it's just so good! ☠️))

(If you don't wanna eat that much pineapple, just chuck it in the tepache; it'll make it even better. Prolly good to slice it up or gently crush it or etc so that the juices can be more easily released from the flesh & into the tepache)

Then when all the bottles have their pineapple, you add the water! Filled up to the shoulder where the bottle begins narrowing; about 1L total I guess? Gotta leave some head space for the fermentation!

(And while you're filling, rinse off all the sticky juice from the outside of the bottle and its cap...)

Then put the cap on tight and invert the bottle and give it a good shakey-shake to get as much of the settled sugar dissolved as possible, and to get all the spices and plant materials and yeasts introduced to each other.

Then you switch the cap for a DIY MacGyver airlock so the bottle doesn't explode and make a giant mess of your kitchen. You make this using a balloon, a spare bottlecap, and a push pin; plus you will need a spare empty bottle to use as a handle during assembly (otherwise it's obnoxiously fiddly to do OR you squirt tepache all over yourself OR both) and it is assembled thus:

Stab some holes in the bottlecap

Rinse out the balloons with water just in case there's any schmutz in there

Poke holes in the balloons. Taking a deflated balloon I pushed a pin through it thrice, so there were six holes in it in total. That seems like a good amount to me but I'm just guessing.

Put the bottlecap on the spare bottle

Stretch the neck of the balloon over the bottlecap. You want to get it on there enough so that it won't simply pop off the bottle once the fermentation gets going.

Then you roll the mouth of the balloon back enough so that you can freely unscrew the bottle cap and transfer it to your bottle of tepache. (And then roll it back down onto the tepache bottle for a secure fit)

When the tepache is fermenting, its gases will inflate the balloon and it will look like this:

This setup is cheap, simple, and effective.

Releases the gas out while disallowing bugs in, and its easy to put on and off the bottle, and if the bottle overflows only a little bit then the mess will be mostly contained inside the balloon (unless it isn't), and finally it looks really cool because you can SEE how much fermentation is going on. (All you have to do is make a poster about it and that's an entire school science project right there, I tell you hwat.)

Then you just put the tepache somewhere dim to ferment. I always put 'em in a tray or something just in case the fermentation gets too enthusiastic for the perforated balloons to release and they overflow:

This is only a temporary home until I find a better one because bookshelf-with-electronics is not a happy place for very sticky fermenting liquids to reside, but anyway the colour coding here is:

Yellow = pineapple

Orange = pineapple + orange

Pink = pineapple + orange + ginger

Red = pineapple + orange + ginger + chilli

After 3 or 4 days of fermentation, you switch the lids from Ghetto Airlock Lid to Regular Airtight Lid, and give them another couple of days of secondary fermentation to carbonate the beverage, and then you put them in the fridge to slow the fermentation way down so they don't explode before you can drink them (and so the yeast doesn't eat ALL the sugar)

(OBVIOUSLY if the bottle looks dangerously pressurised and explody, then just pop the top every now and again to let the excess gas out! It's not hard!)

(It's not a dangerous hazard if you don't, cuz these are only plastic bottles after all, but it will make a giant sticky mess and you'll have much less delicious tepache to drink.

I really hate adding brain-dead caveats like these but if I don't then people will fall over themselves to "um, actually" at me, which is even worse 😒)

If you give the yeast loads of sugar and loads of fermentation, you'll get an alcoholic tepache.

If you don't give it loads of sugar but do give it loads of fermentation, you'll get a pickled pineapple vinegar (with or without the addition of whichever spices you felt like flavouring it with).

Both options are yummy in their own way, but regular, sweet, non-alcoholic tepache is the main goal here.

After you've drank a bottle of tepache, you can refill it with water and sugar and give it another round of fermentation for a second batch. To facilitate this, you'll wanna hold a strainer over the mouth of the bottle when you're pouring from it, to keep all the solid plant matter in the bottle and out of your glass (which you kinda wanna do anyway because obviously it ain't so nice to have all that schmutz in your glass regardless of your re-fermentating intentions)

I wouldn't keep re-fermenting beyond that tho. Loses its flavour and starts getting gross and you'll probably make yourself sick. Just get another pineapple. :)

[etraytin]

New Solutions, Old Disasters

More volunteering this last few days; it feels like the only thing to do that makes sense right now. There's a website that local people can check to find volunteer opportunities, so I signed up to help at the local food and water distro. They get lots of help on weekends, it looks like, but much less during the week, so I brought husband and Kiddo along as well. It was us and three other volunteers, a few city librarians who have been assigned to disaster duties while some of the libraries are still closed, and a handful of National Guardsmen working this center. The National Guard contingent has set up near our house at a summer camp tucked back in the hills, and I have never seen so many Chinooks in my whole life, much less had them rattling my windowpanes. Glad to have them though, they're doing a huge amount of work and supply transport!

Anyway, Kiddo and I directed traffic all afternoon. That meant meeting every car, figuring out what they needed and giving each driver a post-it note to say what and how much of each item to give them. Anyone who comes to the center was eligible to get one box full of 12 liters of water in 1-liter tetrapacks and one box of 12 MREs per person they were picking up for, plus as much potable and nonpotable water as they wanted in the containers they brought themselves. Some folks just got stuff for themselves, some picked up for others, a few loaded up for whole neighborhoods. I taught Kiddo how to do the post-it ticket and we took turns each time a car approached. He was nervous at first but quickly got the hang of it and was getting very fast and confident by the end of the day! I'm really proud of him because socializing can be a tough thing for him but he powered through and came out the other side. By the end of the day, he was saying that this was his favorite volunteer gig of all. (It did not hurt that the weather was exquisite all day and we got to enjoy a lot of it from our chairs in a nice shady place at the front gate.)

World Central Kitchen brought lunch for us, which was wonderful and delicious. It was some kind of chili-goulash with big chunks of vegetable in it, and there were three massive pans (sometimes we have many more volunteers than we had that day!) At the end of the day, the volunteer coordinator asked us if we wanted to take the leftovers home and we said sure, if nobody else was going to take them. Turns out there was an entire pan left and with everybody else being singles, nobody wanted that much, lol. We took it home and shared it with our neighbors and still had enough for two big meals. Our neighbors are a nurse in one of the hard-hit towns and a handyman plus two teenagers, so they were also happy to get an easy hot meal! We also took home one box of MREs because we ate through so many of our emergency supplies during the days when power was out, and it feels good to be prepared. I may give them away at some point, hard to say. We have given away a whole lot of my emergency stash at this point on the grounds that it feels bad to save up for an emergency that is happening right now to other people.

Yesterday I did actual Red Cross work for the first time in awhile. (I did an overnight shift at a Red Cross shelter the day after we got back to town, but the post I made for that got half-finished and left in drafts and I'm still picking at it.) They wanted someone from the local Disaster Action Team at the shelter to help with casework intakes because we use the same program as they do and are already familiar with it. I drove down to the shelter and found there'd been a miscommunication, they wanted me working intake, but not at the shelter near me, at shelters all over the disaster area by remote. So I went home and made a bunch of phone calls instead. It was a little frustrating, but above all things you must be flexible if you want to be a good disaster worker. There are always going to be screwups and miscommunications and hurry-up-and-waits. As long as nothing life-threatening is happening, you just shrug and roll with it and do what is needed. That's one reason I've taken so much Red Cross training; if I get to a place and they don't need me for what I thought I was going to be doing, there's usually something else I can do.

I did end up in a shelter anyway, when we realized that the shelter I was trying to contact was isolated enough that they still didn't have reliable cell coverage in the area. Rather than continue beating my head against the wall, I hopped in the car and drove out an hour to the shelter, which was up north in a very tucked-away corner. MIracle of miracles, the shelter did have enough WiFi that I did not have to resort to paper forms intake and I was able to get nearly everyone in the shelter taken care of. I also got to hold someone's kitten, which was pretty great. Unfortunately, about two hours into my visit it became clear that several residents had just (as in _just_) tested positive for COVID, and this was now going to be a COVID shelter. I, who had just interviewed all the folks in the shelter, had also gotten a good solid exposure. Great.

All of that to say that this weekend is not a big volunteer weekend for us anymore, as we are staying home for a few days to make sure I'm not ferrying germs between vulnerable congregate populations and the general public. I did dig out my masks today so I could drop off some bottled water and go collect the last of my belongings from the office of my canvassing job. That is officially over, with final paychecks this week and our field director reassigned to another office. At least I got my bag of hats back! Wearing a mask right now feels surreal; nobody has given me a hard time or anything but it makes this disaster feel like 2020 again and the feeling of cognitive dissonance gets kind of intense.

At least now I can tell myself it's a good thing to see people gathering in groups again because it means that the restaurants and businesses are starting to open again! The boil order has been rescinded for a large chunk of the county, and I counted five open restaurants on the main street this evening, all of them busy. No place was as busy as the town laundromat though, which has become a huge gathering place as one of the only 24-hour laundry places in a county full of waterless folks. That place is _busy!_

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, September 12th, 2024.

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? I'm not in a relationship with anyone.

Ever dated/kissed a someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley? No.

Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or lying down? I actually don't remember my very last kiss.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? I'm not thrilled with many of the choices I've made in life, but I'm a lot happier with the choices I've been making over the last year or so. They haven't been perfect, but things seem to be moving in the right direction.

Are you excited for anything? The 21st (y'all probably know why by now, so no explanation is necessary). The Chili Festival. Autumnal foods. Upcoming trips to the Mountain Park, especially now that the leaves are starting to change. Cooler weather. Halloween/Thanksgiving vibes. Meeting up with my mom for lunch this afternoon.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No.

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do? I don't really have any enemies, but as for the person I dislike most…I'd be extremely annoyed, but I don't think I would say or do anything that wasn't related to getting out of the elevator.

Will this weekend be a good one? Saturday is iffy. It should be "okay" as long as I stay focused on the positives. Sunday should be alright. I'll be working with River and Kristen, so no issues there at least.

Are you mad at someone right now? It's like a mixture of anger and anxiety.

Do you like to listen to the radio in the car? Yeah. I pretty much always listen to classical music when I'm in the car.

Do you sleep with a fan on? Sometimes we'll leave the swamp cooler on through a portion of the night, but I don't use any fans.

How is your hair right now? Buzzed and short and currently covered by a beanie.

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? Yeah. One instance was silly and impulsive, and I ended up getting back together with the first person. Another instance involved breaking things off with someone new because I still wasn't over my ex and was probably hung up on the slim-to-nonexistent chance that things would work out.

How many windows are open on your computer? One window, five tabs (two for Tumblr, two for YouTube, and an online Notepad where I take these surveys).

How tall are you? About 5'3".

Is something bothering you? Yeah, but hopefully it will pass. I just have to get through the next week-ish.

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? I have.

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? Plenty of times. I have a rather morbid, irreverent sense of humor.

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”? Yeah.

Do you like to cuddle? Very much.

Have you done anything sneaky lately? Yeah.

Is your hair clean? I took a shower yesterday morning, so it's not filthy.

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling? No, but I did drift off while enjoying Essential Salt's latest podcast.

Were you happy when you woke up today? I was anxious, but also looking forward to grocery shopping. I bought some fall goodies to try.

What are you drinking right now? Coffee.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yeah.

Does someone have feelings for you? No.

Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah.

Are you hard to please? Naw. I think I'm pretty easy to please. I'm relatively low-maintenance and small things can make me very happy.

What are you craving right now? Relief from overthinking. I'll be pleasantly distracted for a moment, but then the worries will creep back in, along with a racing heartbeat and a knot in my stomach.

How are you feeling right now? A whole mess of emotions I don't feel like untangling.

What are you sick of? Alex. One would think her fast-approaching exit date would make it easier on me and that I'd be on cloud nine with anticipation, but if anything it's made me less tolerant.

Are you missing anyone/something? Cats who have passed away, backpacking memories with my dad, the way I used to feel about volunteering (I still love it as a whole and have no plans to quit, but these past few weeks have been overshadowed by anxiety, anger, and dread).

Relationship to the last person you called? The last person I called was my mom.

Could you date someone shorter than you? Yeah.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall of the planet? Or simply leave my sphere of influence.

Do you wear glasses? Pretty much only when I'm driving or when I need to see a menu up on a board.

Where did you sleep last night? In my own bed.

Do you straighten your hair? No. My hair is naturally straight.

What color shirt are you wearing? I'm wearing a black t-shirt, a slate gray/blue long-sleeved shirt, and a pine green sweater.

Do you have a best friend? Ollie.

Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now? Yes and no. Yes because I wish I had handled things differently, but no because staying silent wasn't the answer either. I'm just going to have to let the chips fall where they may and come up with a better approach in the future.

Who is the last person you got a text from? My mom.

Are you excited for winter? Yesss, but I want to focus on enjoying autumn first.

When are you at your happiest? When I'm around the people I love and when I'm doing something I love.

Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it? Today has barely started, but some things on my to-do list include making art, washing some bed stuff, and vacuuming my room.

Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? Indoors for the most part, but I like getting outside as well.

What were you doing before you started this survey? I put away the groceries and made breakfast.

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Not fully, but a lot more than I used to. Recognizing even a portion of my worth has led to some interesting developments…

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? Lately, yes. I'm just like DUDE you really need to let this go before it consumes you and makes you do something stupid and regrettable. It feels like all of my old behavior patterns are bubbling right below the surface, but I'm trying my damnedest to choose a different path.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No.

Do you own a pair of uggs? I don't.

What are your plans for tomorrow? I'll be at the animal shelter for a full day.

[silverstark]

A White Lie Extra

Surprise for 520, aka “Chinese Valentine’s Day”

Ficlet for A White Lie, a 2ha / The Husky and His White Cat Shizun au where Xia Sini claims to be Chu Wanning’s son. Read it on Ao3 (Registered Users Only). SPOILERS FOR FULL NOVEL.

Auuthor’s Note: This doesn’t necessarily fit into the “canon” of A White Lie because I didn’t think it over carefully enough to see if it messes anything up in my plot. However! I wanted to write something to celebrate 520.

x-x-x-x-x

Mo Ran woke up early so he could go check on his recovering shidi first thing in the morning. Having reassured himself that the child was looking well, he wrote a note of explanation for his absence.

‘I’ll be back soon to give you medicine! I will be with Shi Mei for a little while.’

It was just a precaution: Xia Sini was still fast asleep, and the medication would make him less likely to wake up early. Chu Wanning had always woken up very late when he was sick. Mo Ran expected that Xia Sini would take after his father, as he did in so many other regards.

Mo Ran laid the note upon Xia Sini’s latest boring book. This one was about rare poisons. Mo Ran could only approve of Xia Sini finding a safer way to pursue his ‘win at all costs’ drive than through sword-fighting, so he did not plan on asking about his interest in the subject. He then snuck quietly out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Shi Mei was surprised to see Mo Ran.

“Good morning, A-Ran.”

“Good morning, Shi Mei,” he replied brightly.

“Do we have early morning training today? I must have forgotten,” Shi Mei said apologetically.

“No, no,” Mo Ran said. “It’s nothing related to training.”

Shi Mei’s expression changed. He looked faintly awkward.

“Oh? Then…”

He stopped himself as he realized that he almost asked a rude question.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up early,” Mo Ran said hurriedly.

“No…”

Indeed, he was fully dressed with his hair in near order. It seemed he had been quietly studying in his room, as Mo Ran had expected.

Mo Ran sighed in relief. “I’m glad. I was just hoping to ask you something…”

Here Mo Ran hesitated and scratched his head a little diffidently. Shi Mei seemed unusually reserved. Mo Ran had never interrupted his morning studying before to avoid inconveniencing him. Now he had, and on top of that, he was going to ask him another favor. He wondered if he should check whether Shi Mei had the time before asking him for the favor, or else Shi Mei might agree purely out of politeness.

Shi Mei watched him and suddenly lowered his gaze.

“Want to come inside?” he asked quietly.

“Huh?”

Shi Mei rarely invited Mo Ran into his room. Mo Ran hadn’t been expected to be invited in today of all days.

“So we can speak privately,” Shi Mei said.

“Oh! Thank you, but I don’t really have time,” he said apologetically.

Shi Mei’s eyes widened slightly. Mo Ran couldn’t remember the last time he had declined an invitation to spend time with Shi Mei. Usually he wanted to stick to Shi Mei like sticky candy, as close as Shi Mei would permit, every moment he could get.

Mo Ran explained, “I have to— actually, that’s what I wanted to ask. If you have time.”

“What is it?” Shi Mei asked, puzzled.

“Will you teach me how you make wonton soup?”

Shi Mei blinked in surprise. Then he looked at Mo Ran with an expression like dismay. Mo Ran didn’t understand it until he remembered his poor timing.

“You don’t have to make it with me. If you tell me how you make it, I can just try it on my own.”

“…Why do you want to learn how to make wonton soup?”

“Little Shidi is hurt. I was thinking yesterday, that when I’m hurt, wonton soup always makes me feel better. I want to try to make Little Shidi wonton soup before he wakes up.”

Shi Mei frowned and seemed thoughtful, even a little uncomfortable. Mo Ran blinked at him in confusion. He didn’t understand why Shi Mei didn’t seem to want to want to share the recipe.

“I thought Shidi didn’t like spicy food.”

“I’ll make it without chili for him.”

Shi Mei hesitated another moment. Mo Ran gazed at him in befuddlement, trying to figure out what the problem was.

“Do you…want to keep the recipe a secret?” Mo Ran wondered.

Shi Mei held out another moment before sighing in resignation.

“Shizun will have to forgive me,” he said quietly.

“Um. What does Shizun have to do with this? It’s not like it’s his recipe,” Mo Ran said, laughing a little at the idea of Chu Wanning’s cooking skills.

“It is,” Shi Mei said.

“Hahahahaha!”

Shi Mei watched him laughing. Mo Ran waited for him to drop the serious expression, but as time went on and Shi Mei failed to crack a smile, Mo Ran faltered. Then he stopped laughing entirely.

There was a tired look in Shi Mei’s eyes. The joke had been out of character; perhaps it was his way of distracting Mo Ran from something that was troubling him. Perhaps he had invited Mo Ran in wishing to tell him and unburden himself.

“What’s wrong?” Mo Ran asked gently.

“…Nothing.”

Mo Ran tsk’d and took Shi Mei’s hand intending to lead him into the room so they could talk privately. Shi Mei allowed it.

“Tell me,” Mo Ran urged once the door was closed.

“There’s nothing wrong,” Shi Mei said. “It’s only that I can’t teach you that recipe.”

“That’s okay,” Mo Ran said. “I shouldn’t have asked you out of the blue like that. But that can’t be the only thing that’s wrong. It’s not like you to make jokes at Shizun’s expense.”

“…”

Shi Mei gazed at him with an unreadable expression. Mo Ran looked back at him sincerely, hoping that Shi Mei would see how much Mo Ran cared about him.

“That was not a joke,” Shi Mei said. “It really is Shizun’s recipe. He’s the one who has been making wonton soup for you. I didn’t tell you because he asked me to keep it a secret.”

Mo Ran stared first in disbelief, and then in horrified realization.

“Mo Ran?” Shi Mei asked.

His voice sounded far away. Mo Ran was far away.

Before, he couldn’t think of the wonton soup without feeling a warmth that seeped deep into his bones. And now, he was remembering those wontons rolling across the floor, thrown away by Mo Ran’s own uncaring blow. He remembered the expression on Chu Wanning’s face after. He remembered his own satisfaction in the vindictive cruelty.

“Mo Ran?” Shi Mei asked again.

He sounded concerned. Mo Ran gulped and tried to pull himself together. He couldn’t have a breakdown in front of Shi Mei without explaining.

“Ah, so it wasn’t a joke,” he said with an attempt at a smile. It crumpled into a grimace.

Shi Mei sighed. “Shizun feared that you would react like this. That’s why he didn’t want you to know…”

Mo Ran again remembered the look on Chu Wanning’s face after Mo Ran had strewn his wontons across the floor. Chu Wanning had feared his reaction. But he couldn’t have known…

Mo Ran sucked in a breath. He repeated to himself that he couldn’t have a breakdown in front of Shi Mei.

“Don’t worry,” Mo Ran said. “I won’t tell him.”

He didn’t have time for a breakdown right now. He had to go start making the soup if he wanted it to be ready before Xia Sini woke up. He muttered some polite farewell to Shi Mei and hurried to the kitchens.

x-x-x-x-x

Cooking always settled Mo Ran’s spirit somehow. Cooking for someone he loved was even better. He put special care into every step. He knew very well that he could not fix the mistakes he had made in his past life. What was done was done. But…perhaps he could do better in this lifetime. He wanted to do better by Xia Sini.

The soup was beautifully made. It was nothing compared to the soup Shi Mei had brought him just when he had desperately needed it. The soup that Chu Wanning had made for him and sent to him just when he had desperately needed it. Mo Ran remembered his overwhelming gratitude and the spark of love that had flared in the wreck of his heartache over the way Chu Wanning had treated him. He didn’t know what to make of this now. He didn’t know how to feel towards Shi Mei or Chu Wanning now.

The only thing that was clear was his feeling upon walking into Xia Sini’s room to offer him the wonton soup. Xia Sini was sitting up now seemingly reading the note Mo Ran had left. He startled at Mo Ran’s arrival and tossed the note like he was embarrassed to be caught reading it. Mo Ran grinned, feeling his heart light up with warmth and affection.

“You woke up early,” he noted.

Xia Sini looked at him warily. Mo Ran was a little surprised that he didn’t make some cranky comment.

“Does your wound hurt? Don’t worry, I’ll give you medicine soon, as I promised,” he said cheerily.

“It does not hurt,” Xia Sini quickly denied. “You can take that away.”

He gave the soup bowl a disgusted glare as he spoke. Mo Ran laughed.

“Won’t you even give it a taste? Your shixiong worked hard to make this!”

Mo Ran placed the tray close to Xia Sini and uncovered the bowl to reveal the soup. Xia Sini stared at the contents.

“What? Don’t you like wonton soup? I promise it’s not spicy.”

Xia Sini didn’t look up.

“You…you made me wonton soup?” he asked uncertainly.

“Of course! Little shidi needs good food to recover.”

“…”

Xia Sini said nothing and made no move to pick up his chopsticks. Mo Ran looked at him in concern, but his lashes were low over his eyes and Mo Ran couldn’t read his expression.

“Do you really not like it? I can go get you something else...”

Mo Ran was a little worried. He would have no time to make something good before Xia Sini got hungry. It would have to be some plain, boring congee.

“No, don’t take it away,” Xia Sini said. “I like it.”

“Oh,” Mo Ran said, relieved. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. It’s just that no one has ever taken care of me like this.”

Mo Ran’s heart ached to hear those words. He had suspected it, but now he knew it was true. He reached out and gently patted Xia Sini’s hair. He didn’t understand how it could be that no one had cared for this precious, clever, kind child.

Xia Sini looked up at his touch and finally met Mo Ran’s eyes.

“Thank you, shixiong,” he said sincerely.

Mo Ran smiled even has his heart broke open, overfilled with affection. Light spilled out through the cracks.

“I said I would take care of you, didn’t I?”

Xia Sini blinked and stared. He said nothing, but Mo Ran thought he saw something small and fragile lighting up in his eyes. Mo Ran tucked a strand of hair behind Xia Sini’s ear.

He cleared his throat before speaking to be sure that it wouldn’t break.

“If you want to show your gratitude, you better start eating before it gets cold,” he chided.

Xia Sini lowered his head and obeyed. There was a little smile on his face. Mo Ran couldn’t look away from it.

x-x-x-x-x

[idkfnok]

11:11: Let Me Show You (p2)

Main Characters: Jehraye "Jay" Guidry; Alani "Lan" Sanders

A real slow-burn

PT 1

I  get back home to Georgia after 11p.m. I lowkey wanted to call Jehraye, but I figured he would’ve been asleep. I get in my car and drive, I loved going back to N.O. but, I did miss downtown Augusta. It’s similar to a lot of places but, still aint nothing like it. I get home, take my bags up to my apartment, take a shower, reheat that white chicken chili I had left, I ate and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning around 10, with A missed call from My mama. I know she’s calling to ask about New Orleans. I made a mental note to call her later. I brush my teeth and get dressed before heading over to the Tattoo shop that Nya owns and doing a little voluntary receptionist work for awhile. I love coming to her shop. Because not only did I get free reign to the little snack bar she had. I  got to interact with some cool ass people too. Nya’s a traditional tattoo artist. The people in her shop though, were cartoonist and realist, shit, she even had a traditional stick -and - poke artist too. Dymo, the Realist, actually did the portrait of my great grandma I got  three years ago after she passed. All of their work was top-notch. Nya wouldn’t stand for anything else. Which showed, not only in her work, but that of the one’s she hired too.

 She was always playing music too. It jumped all over the place. She went from indie artists like music by this  dude named Money from Atlanta, Russ to Rodwave, Kodak black, Jacob banks, King von, Kirk franklin to Gallant and Marco Mckinnis ; all the way to Panic at the Disco and all things in between.Crazy enough, the dude “Money” is one of her  best friends.   Her only preference in most aspects of her life  was “I like it.” Music was no different.  Mari Walked in at about 11:30. I knew then, my voluntary duties were done. I got up from the desk, hugged Mari, yelled that I was leaving and made my way out of the shop and to the Mall so I can go stare at the back of Spencer’s and ponder not buying shit before I made my way to Victoria’s secret and sniffed around for perfume to buy at their semi annual sale. I picked up the Rainbow Shower, Desert Sky and Cactus Water. 

What does the schedule look like for the rest of the day?

“Consultation at 11: 45, Surgery at 12:30 , then lunch ;  You’re  tightening Miah’s braces, check the schedule for tomorrow and we should both  be outta here by 4. 

Cool.”

“ So how was your wednesday?”

It was good, why you ask?

“Jaelai told me you went on a date or something yesterday morning.”

Tell yo wife to mind her business.

“My wife, yo sister.”

I bet she the one who sent Toni ass to my table.

“Nooooo. What she say?”

She was chill until I give her the tip, then she talmbout “Make sure you get yo child”

“No she didn’t”

The hell if she didn’t!  had my date looking at me funny

“😂”

That shit ain’t funny. Im tryna support her and she throwing salt in the game 😂

“Toni was always fucking with you. She’s been doing it as long as she’s been with Kieran 

I know. But, damn if she don’t do it at the worst times.

 “Well you got the crybaby today so, be prepared.”

She never cried with me.I don’t know what you be doing to my niece but she don’t like it 

“I’m her daddie.”

Maybe it’s because you white.

“I have been white her whole life.”

Ion know maybe she just like me better.

“ Yeah because you always give her what she want.”

She ten , why not?

“I feel sorry for any  man who dates any of your daughters.”

Why you say that?

“Cause her like whoever her mama gonna be, is gonna be spoiled to hell. Cause you brother, are a Hopeless Romantic with a damn good job and a real love of women.”

Always. Speaking of  romance, you just reminded me that I gotta call Lan once I get off.

The rest of the day went by smooth. The consultation led to another appointment next month for braces, I tightened my nieces braces and The surgery; started and finished quicker than I expected. I was outta the office by 4: 15 . I got in my car and called Alani.

“Hello.”

Hey gorgeous, how you doing?

“I’m doing aight”

That’s good. , how has your day been? Give me details please

“It was pretty good. I woke up, ate, brushed my teeth, got dressed and I went to Nya’s shop.”

Which one of your friends was Nya again?

“The one who had on the red bodycon dress.”

Okay

“ Yeah she’s a tattoo artist. I go to her shop sometimes to help and steal snacks.”

Uh huh

“ Talked to some customers and chilled until Mari got there.”

That’s the one with the red hair?

“Yep.”

Before you continue. Speaking of jobs, what do you do?

“I’m a doula. 

Oh Okay, I’m a Orthodontist.

“ At 28?!”

Yes, I have been for like a year, almost two.  Anyway, continue on.

“I left the shop, went to the mall and called my mama back after I left Victoria’s Secret, and i’ve been home for a few hours. 

Foreal? Cool, i'm bout to Facetime you. 

I press the camera icon and wait for her to answer. When she does, the first thing I notice is how shiny her lips are. She has this 90’s lip combo. You know the one with the 5% tint around the edges and it looks amazing on her. I compliment her and our conversation continues. She tells me that she is a birth doula and some of what that entails. I ain’t ever see anybody give birth but, the way she describes it makes it sound like one of the scariest and most beautiful things ever. Most of her clients are Black women, second time moms who have had terrible experiences in the hospital. From women almost dying because nurses and doctors try to write their pain off as “normal” shit.  

If the person dealing with this is telling you that they can’t breathe, they have a splitting headache or can’t feel their legs long after the epidural should’ve worn off, you should listen. Hearing her recount some of these stories pissed me off. You shouldn’t fear for your or child’s  life coming into the hospital.  I learned some things like water births are really popular and are often more relaxing for the mother. That tidbit of information I tucked into my back pocket. 

We talked about the time my tooth went through the bottom of my lip and left a scar when I was a kid, my first sexual experience at 14 that involved licking whipped cream off of some pussy once or twice. She told me about the time she ran head first into a brick wall when she was 8 and how she snorted salt up her nose when she was 13 because she “wanted to see what  it felt like if she ever snorted powder.”  on some wild shit. I was really enjoying the conversation. So much so, that I hadn’t realized I was home, sitting in my car for the past five hours. I looked at the time on my  phone and it was 9:40 and I needed to get in the house so that I could shower, eat and go to bed. 

Things continued that way for a few more days. Us updating one another throughout the day, nightly phone calls, early morning voice messages. Sending badly angled and funny looking pictures of each other from facetime calls. I've watched her get dressed and she’s watched me get undressed. We’ve fallen asleep on the phone only to wake up and one of us has hung up. And it’s usually her.  We’ve given one another recipes. Her recipe for brown butter chocolate chip pecan cookies is top tier and she  gave me  a lot of praise on my five cheese macaroni.  Before I knew it,  the Thursday of our date had shown up. I woke up that morning to the reminder and was hella excited. I had been thinking about what to cook for two days now and I decided on Smothered Okra with shrimp and tomatoes over rice. I called her, told her what I had in mind; she said it sounded good and she was going to cook the same; but add chicken to it. 

We Facetimed each other while shopping for food. I helped her pick out the proper seasonings and ingredients needed for the dish and advised her to pick up a bag of  Basmati rice instead of “regular” rice.  I picked up cut okra while she wanted the whole Okra.I grabbed a bottle of wine and she passed on that. We went back to our houses and started preparing the meal. I ain't feel like chopping onions, so I bought the pre-cut ones. She was all about the full process. She chopped her onions, peppers and all while I watched as she struggled to cut some of ‘em because she don’t know how to properly handle a knife. She more than proved my point when she sliced her damned finger, dropped the knife and probably almost cut her foot too.

Baby, be careful, please!

“I’m fine Jehraye, it’s just a little cut. The knife ain’t that sharp”

And that’s probably the problem Lan. Get you some better knives Bae. 

“My knives work just fine.”

No they do not, clearly. You were struggling to cut the bell pepper.

“That’s because I don’t know how to cut shit.”

Aight, so you got one option, start buying pre-cut vegetables.

“I will not.”

Then I suggest you get on youtube and learn how to use knives because I'mma order you some new ones.

“Jay-”

No, bae you don’t wanna use pre- cut stuff, I'm getting you new knives. So go ‘head and give me A FedEx drop off, P.O. box, your address or something. 

“How about this-”

If ain’t no solution in this baby, don’t even say nothing.

“How about when you come visit me, we can look at  knives together.”

 Aight that sounds- wait! You gonna let me come see you?!

“Yes sir. Just not until the end of the month.”

Baaaaaabbbbbbyyyy, that’s like 3 weeks away.

“You’ll be fine.”

Nuh uh…. My doctor said if I don’t see you in two weeks imma die.

“Ohhh you so dramatic 😂 yo ass is not gonna die.”

When I am touch deprived for a long time, I start to waste away into a pile of dirt.

“I can’t with you. Jehraye Guidry, you are something else.”

We talk while finishing up the food and once she turns her smothered Okra and shrimp down she announces that she’s about to get in the shower so she can get dressed and the rest of our date can continue. We hang up and about 35 minutes later she’s calling me while she finishes up the rest of her routine. I don't mind because I am also on the tail end of finishing up my hair. I choose to go with a braid out because I know she’s wanted to see my hair. She calls back when I am almost done taking out my last braid. She’s putting on lipgloss and perfume. When she looks at the camera, she gasps and says “Your hair!”

Yeah. you said you wanted to see it out so, I decided to wear it out.

“You look so cute. Now I really wanna play in it.”

Well, when I come to see you; you can play in it for a few minutes

“Why only a few minutes?”

You think Imma come to Augusta and just sit around? We gotta order  knives and I wanna go to the mellow mushroom. You said it was a cool bar and I wanna see a lil bit of  your city.

“But what if I wanna just lay up with you and play in your hair?”

We can do that. But, you already told me that you like rubbing on folks and I like being rubbed on. That goes on for too long, We might end up in a few more positions than you intended , and you gon be doing a hell of a lot more than playing in my hair.

“ I’m down for wherever that leads us.”

Alani

“Jehraye”

Let me be clear, you rubbing on me…we fucking.

“I understand what you’re saying.”

Yeah, but are you okay with that happening?

“Yes, I want it to.”

Aight. Listen, I've been waiting for this.

“What do you mean?”

I purposefully ain’t been jacking off for about a week.”

“Okay.”

And imma hold off until I get to you.

“Oohhhhh”

Yeah so, you better be prepared.

“I hear you.”

We sit down at our tables and begin eating.  I wait to see her take her first bite.  I wanted her to like it because the recipe I gave her is truly my own and I wanted to know if she fucked with it. The way my eyes lit up when I saw  hers damn near bulge out of her head; the only way I coulda been any happier in that moment was if she and I were sitting in front of each other. I spooned  some of the food into my mouth as she moaned satisfactorily at the first taste of my food, she had no idea she was eating.  After telling her that I couldn't wait to see her, our conversation took a very sexual turn as we discussed some of the things we were and weren’t willing to do.

“How do you feel about aftercare?”

I rarely ever do it, but the times I have; i’ve enjoyed it.

“Why don’t you do it more?”

My goal is to satisfy the woman and myself, if that puts her to sleep; so be it.

“So aint nobody ever put you to sleep?”

Some have. 

“Well, I expect aftercare.”

And you gon get it, if you aint sleep.

So what’s your views on sucking dick?

“I like it. I only do it like a spur of the moment thing. I don’t plan it.”

Okay. I like kissing.That’s before, definitely during and after sex.

“Me too.”’

 Aight so, how would you feel if I wanted to eat yo ass?

“That’s a “no”.”

How come?

“I like to kiss, eating ass and kissing don’t usually go hand-in-hand.”

Gotcha 

You can bite and choke me though

“For real?”

Yes, Guidry. I’m cool with that; spanking, and to some degree, restraint.

“Oh baby, you gonna have the time of your life.”

And another thing.

“Yes?”

I am loud, and it ain’t always cute, especially if i’m enjoying it.

“Bae, I’m trying to put you in a position where you NEED aftercare. I don’t expect it to be cute.”

Speaking of, what is a typical aftercare routine for you?

“ simple shit.Take you to the toilet, sit with you while you pee.  Run you a shower, help clean you up. I’ll carry you if I have to. I’m a cuddler so, after I feel like you’re situated, I’ll clean up and cuddle you for a while. I might fall asleep, if I don’t within the hour; you can expect waffles to be made. But that is the least I would do.”

I want somewhere closer to the most you can do.

“Then you can’t fall asleep or I can do some of it during or before we fuck.”

Okay , I'm cool with that.

I’ll be honest, having this conversation with him right now, was definitely making me horny and in times like this, I am very grateful that I was born a woman. I have no doubt in my mind that if we were next to each other right now, he would be able to smell how badly I wanted to fuck him.  Just thinking about it, my thighs clenched together and I felt that familiar tingle in my stomach. He didn’t help any with his hair falling into his face, licking his lips and kissing at me. The rest of that date, I was going back and forth with mindfulness and imagining what he would feel like inside of me. What his tongue and fingers felt like. What he sounds like when he moans, is he a hard or soft dom. What does he say, if anything while he’s having sex. Just then, I decided to ask. 

Jehraye.

“Yes, ma’am”

Do you talk during sex?

“Yes, I do. I talk, moan, cuss, I might say something in french.

You speak French?

A little, 

“Oh okay. I might make it my goal to hear some of that from you.

“ You get some French outta me, we locked in. the last person I did that with, we was together for 3 years.”

That ain’t THAT long .

“When you 17, yes it is.”

Fair point.

I don’t know why I decided to ask him that knowing it would lead me directly out of mindfulness and into fantasy land. I was still eating and talking but I wasn’t at this date. I was in my bed with this guy I just met three weeks ago, with my face buried into a pillow while he fucked me as I screamed his name in pure ecstasy. Jay must have noticed because when he finally got my attention back he said “ I’m thinking about it too and  I’m bricked the fuck up, baby.”  “Jaaayyy” his name comes out way more lust-filled than I intended.“ When I get ahold of you, you’ll know I meant what I said on our first date at Nana’s.” He says. “ All I ask is that you don’t run from me. If you need me to slow down or stop, that’s fine. But DO NOT RUN.” “Why not?” I ask. “ It aggravates me and I'm gonna want to punish you for it.” “How come?” “ cause if we fucking, you wanted this dick. So,  unless you say “stop” or I feel like I'm hurting you, you taking EVERY inch I got.” “Damn, It’s like that Jay 🙃?” I say. He comes back with “Ion get in no pussy I don’t wanna be in.”

At that moment,  I wanted this man more than I have the past few weeks. We talked some more about our personal “Do’s and Don'ts” of sex, and by the time this date was over, Jay had put his hair back up, I was wishing that I wore underwear.  Maybe it was best that I didn’t. I’m not a fan of that cold shit  hitting my pussy when I pull my underwear back up.  Our date continues on and we finish our food. We stay on facetime for the rest of the night, of course we fell asleep on the phone. This time though I didn��t hang up and awoke to see Jay getting dressed. I watched him for a few minutes before saying “Good morning.” He looked at the camera and said “good morning bae.” 

Uh uh, where you going?

“ 🙂I’m taking my nieces out for a lil bit of fun today.”

awwwww , what are ya’ll gonna do?

“They wanna go to the trampoline park and the movies.”

Okay, what are ya’ll gonna watch?

“They wanna see Tiana's Place”

Oh okay, I saw a few commercials for that.

“yeah”

Why y'all leaving so early though?

“So I can catch the matinee, These girls are pricey.”

You shouldn’t be worried about that.

“What you mean?”

The way you did and were willing to spend on me in Nola…

“Yea, now Imagine that on a slightly smaller scale, times three.”

Yep. Baby catch that matinee 

Exactly 😂that, on top of gas and feeding them whatever they wanna eat when one of em, wants crumbl cookie and  subway; the other one gonna want wendy’s but, a blizzard from sonic and the baby, she aint eating nothing that ain’t a 6pce nugget happy meal with apple slices and a mcflurry wit extra oreos. 

Ohhh with the way you spend money, you must be a damn popular Dentist.

“I make good money but I also have a roommate so I can save a bit more.”

Oh okay. Good Well, Imma let you go so you can enjoy your day with your nieces.

“Aht aht.”

What?

“When did we start hanging up without kisses?”

I blow a kiss at the phone and Jay says “Thank you” and hangs up. 

My Friday was pretty laid back. Until it wasn’t. My client went into an early labor, so I turned off Law & Order and made my way to North Augusta. When I got there I was the only part of her birthing team present. Because she hadn’t called anyone else yet. She’s one of the patients I offer free advice and to some degree birthing services to, as part of my program where I help young single mothers cope with, prepare for  and assist during birth. Despite this being her second time giving birth, she was terrified. I could see it in her eyes. She feared the pain, the uncertainty and a second breech birth. About five minutes after I got there we made calls to the rest of her birthing team, and set up the pool. 

We sat her in it and talked through the contractions and tried to keep her calm until it was time for her to push.  I held her hand, and fed her some strawberries and ice chips while she focused on breathing and pushing. About 3 hours later Her son had started to crown. When we told her, she started crying. This baby wasn’t breech and maybe this labor would be easier. Forty-five minutes after that baby  Eanion Ahzi  Rivers was born. He was so adorable.  We got him cleaned up and I stayed for a few hours after and took care of the baby while she rested.   I Picked my phone up and saw I had 2 missed calls from Jay. Eanion’s mama was a wake so I stepped out to return bae’s calls.

“You musta been sleep.”

No. I just helped deliver a baby a few hours ago.

“For real! How’d it go? Are mama and the baby okay?”

Yes, She had a little boy.

“Awwww. How are you doing though?”

I’m fine, we were prepared for a breech birth but he came out head first and he is the chubbiest lil thing you ever did see. How was the day with ya nieces?

“ listen, next time, they can’t get the Aux.”

Why?

“I fuck with Gracie’s corner but, I wanna hear some Akeem ali, Russ, D4L, Ludacris or something while i’m driving .”

 Jay, you don’t wanna know what sound the letter makes 😂?

“Hell no, I’m outta school shit 😂”

Well, It seems like you had just as good of a day as I did.

“I did. I love spending time with my nieces and nephews. I’m their favorite uncle.”

I bet you are. You’re definitely one of my favorite people.

“Awwwww, you mean that?”

Yeah.

“Aight, then sit on my face when I get to Augusta.”

JEHRAYE

“ALANI”

GUIDRY

“Quit calling me by my government like that.”

Well what do you want me to call you ?

“Jumbo dick Jay”

OMG you-

“I’m bullshiting. It ain’t that big. It’s just right for the body it's attached to.”

I bet. When are you gonna book your flight?

“Next week.”

Good, that way I can set my schedule up right. How long do you plan on staying?

 “Two days.”

Okay.

“Yeah, clear that schedule.”

I will.

After that she had to go back and attend to her client. I went to hang out with Kieran and Asa. Asa, my best friend since middle school and  the one who leaves me stranded on these road trips is a High School AP Calculus teacher. Kieran, my best friend since junior year of college and now  roommate, is an HR consultant. Asa has always wanted to be a teacher. Despite the pay and us trying to convince him to at least go into the college sector, loves what he does. He had a hard time with math when we were little and it frustrated him so, he decided he was gonna do what he had to. He wanted math to come almost as easy to  him as English and history did, and he made it happen. This nigga is one of the smartest people I know and he deserves every praise he gets. He’s worked hard for it.  Kieran on the other hand, Is married; well was married to Toni and they have a 4 year old son together. My Godson Kieran Jamez “KJ” Landry Jr. He always had a thing for Toni so, when they started dating, she became his girlfriend and I became both of their friends and  the third wheel. And despite going through a divorce; which I think is stupid because they clearly still love and want each other; these motherfuckas are hard headed and are hurting because  they tryna teach eachother lessons.  But I can’t force them together.  Me and the guys hang out for a few hours and then we head to our respective homes. I get in, Call Alani, we talk for awhile and I go to sleep.

PT 1

[msbarrows]

Argh... once again I thought I'd only missed a few days of updates and it's actually rather longer. As in a week; not sure how much of that I can even remember. I know I've done some odds and ends this week but can't recall on what days. Usual cleaning of upstairs bathroom, and some more tidying of my bedroom. Also probably laundry. Maybe. Kind of been brain fogged (thanks period hormones - they've been hitting harder for a while now).

Been very aware all week that this time last year the nephew and I were going through that final weekend from hell before my sister went into hospice care. I am still so unbelievably thankful for all the home care nurses plus the doctor who made a house call on a long weekend who helped us get through it all, and the EMTs who got her to the hospital when it hit that stage of things. Good people make awful times a little less awful.

May 20 - baked a loaf of potato chive bread. Made a vat of chili, which we had some of with rice.

May 21 - made a pot of chicken vegetable soup. Had with bread from yesterday.

May 22 - cooked some pork tenderloin medallions with apples and onions, served over rice with steamed mixed veg.

May 23 - made some meat sauce out of ground beef, onions, peppers, a can of tomato sauce, and additional seasonings. Did pasta with meat sauce and a salad for supper. Brother will be heading out of town starting this weekend so rather than freeze the leftover sauce I put it in the fridge to use up while he's away; it's enough for two servings.

May 24 - made a pan of saffron risotto with sliced mild Italian sausages for the protein.

May 25 - Brother went out of town so it's just me for a while. Fried some perogies and had them with meat sauce in late afternoon and then later in the evening had a big salad with chicken strips.

May 26 - also just me. Supper was pasta with meat sauce - that finished off the meat sauce.

May 27 - still just me. Big salad for supper since the romaine needs using up. Just walnuts in it for protein as for lunch I'd had a somewhat overstuffed fish burger to finish off the end of a box of fish sticks that wasn't quite enough for two people.

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

In 2009, former Van Halen members Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony reunited for a brand new band, Chickenfoot, also featuring Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith and guitarist Joe Satriani. As the band explained to Classic Rock that year, they were ready to bring back the party vibes with their self-titled debut album.

“I’m jazzed to be playing with these guys. I’ve recorded an album with Andy Johns, who’s produced my favourite ever bands. I’m playing with guitar god Joe Satriani and Hall Of Famers Mike Anthony and Sammy Hagar. And I’m just a schmo from Detroit who makes a racket.”

The ‘schmo’ in question is none other than Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith who makes up one quarter (or should that be a drumstick?) of Chickenfoot, the supergroup du jour who are already creating a lot of excitement with the announcement of an album in April and a European tour this summer.

With so much promise and such a stellar cast, do they actually live up to the hype? The name doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue with ease or conjure up visions of a union between some of rock’s mightiest behemoths.

“Chickenfoot was just supposed to be a bullshit name that we used for a while,” reveals former Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony. “And then rumours spread about the band and we thought, fuck it. Let’s just call it Chickenfoot. It all comes down to the music anyway.”

“That’s right,” concurs Will Ferrell lookalike Smith. “And let’s get one thing straight: we’re not a supergroup.We like hanging out together, and the music is a bonus. We just happen to be in other groups.”

CR caught up with the band ‘hanging out together’ at Sammy Hagar’s recording studio (which seems to double up as a garage for his vast collection of vintage sports cars) located on an anonymous industrial estate just outside San Francisco. While Hagar, Anthony and Satriani live close by, Smith has flown in from LA and is a day late, having very recently become a father.

“You were fired yesterday,” jokes Satriani.

“You can just take a walk around the block and get fired from this band!” Smith complains.

“We should exclusively play the Chad Smith catalogue!” retorts Satriani.

Smith: “I was going to bring that up. Question: Why did the drummer get sacked from the band? Answer: He said: ‘Hey, guys, I’ve got a few songs I want to try out.”

This is kind of banter carries on relentlessly throughout the day as the band members flit in and out of photo shoots and management conferences while CR tries to collar them. Which is what you’d expect from a collective with such high-profile party animal credentials; even the usually more introspective Satriani has been seized by the levity of the occasion.

“Make sure you run this by Gene Simmons,” he tells his manager when he’s given a copy of Chickenfoot’s new logo. “Remember: Kiss own everything.”

Chickenfoot’s origins came about when Hagar left Van Halen for the last time in 2005 and formed his own band The Waboritas, whose shows featured a segment where Hagar and Anthony would play under the guise of The Other Half (as in the other half of VH) featuring special guests. This eventually developed into regular jam sessions at Hagar’s Cabo Wabo club in Mexico, where Smith owns a holiday home.

“Sammy invited me to play at the club on New Year’s Eve,” the drummer explained. “I told him that I didn’t know much Van Halen but I knew and loved the first Montrose album. He said: ‘Great! We’ll do the whole album!’”

Instantly bonded by their love of classic rock music (Smith is also a huge fan of this esteemed magazine) and besieged by requests from fans wanting to know when the band were going to tour and record, Hagar decided that if they were going to take this venture seriously then they would have to expand the line-up.

“I can just about carry off playing guitar in a jam band scenario,” the frontman and tequila entrepreneur explains, “but to do it properly we needed a guitarist. And as far as I’m concerned Joe Satriani is the best guitar player in the world.”

The band made their official debut just over a year ago in Las Vegas at a Hagar concert, where they played a short set of covers (including Led Zeppelin’s Rock And Roll and Traffic’s Dear Mr. Fantasy).

Satriani had played with Hagar in a project called Planet US in 2003, and when the two men got together in the studio there was an immediate rapport. “We wrote eight songs in two days,” Hagar recalls. “And then when we all got together and wrote more songs it turned into a band.”

They hired producer Andy Johns (whose illustrious CV includes Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Free and Jimi Hendrix) for the album, but he got seriously ill halfway through recording process and Mike Fraser (AC/DC, Metallica, Aerosmith) took over. The final result is as confident, energetic and musical as one would expect from such an elite corps of players. And you won’t be surprised to learn that Hagar agrees.

“This is the best record I’ve ever done in my life,” he enthuses. “I feel like everything I did – working in Montrose, Van Halen and then going solo – happened so I could be who I am right now with this band.”

We’re given an exclusive preview of three tracks from the band’s self-titled debut. Soap On A Rope and Sexy Little Thing have the humour and loose, spontaneous feel of prime VH, with the unashamed unbridled energy of Montrose. Avenida Revolucion is an epic anthem about a dividing road on the Mexican/American border – a contentious subject close to Hagar’s heart.

“That’s a very political song. But I live on the Californian border and in Mexico as well, and I’m telling you, it’s a problem. You drive down Avenida Revolucion: for miles and miles it’s wall-to-wall flowers, crosses and messages for people who’ve been killed. It’s a mess.”

So fired up with this new project, Hagar has already managed to stir some controversy when during an interview in Toronto he reportedly said that Chickenfoot could – ahem – rival Led Zeppelin. The very mention of this makes him groan loudly and bury his face in his hands: “I’m backing off that statement right now, it was the stupidest thing I ever said,” he admits, and then explains what actually happened.

“As you know, I own a tequila company. And I was spreading the word in Canada. I got real fucked up, and then this guy brings up Chickenfoot. I said: ‘We’re better than Zeppelin,’ or something. What I was trying to say is that this band is like early Zeppelin – it’s got a hard-rock edge to it that’s special. I would never compare anything to Led Zeppelin, they were the greatest band ever.”

In the meantime the band aretalking to record labels and putting together a tour of Europe’s festivals this summer which will include some shows in the UK. This will mark a long-overdue return for Anthony and Hagar. “I feel so guilty I haven’t played there in years,” Hagar confesses. “When I was in Van Halen we’d do 130 dates in the US, and the management would say: ‘Are you ready to do Europe?’ And we’d say: ‘Fuck you. We’re done.’ And when we finally got there we thought we were the biggest band in the world and we ended up supporting Bon Jovi. That broke the band up.”

So, Chickenfoot: musical saviours, or a bunch of old rockers indulging in a mid-life-crisis vanity project? Hagar firmly believes it’s the former, and that the age card works to their advantage.

“I agree it’s hard for old bands to get together and write new material,” he admits. “When I was in Van Halen at the 2004 reunion, I wanted to do a new album but we couldn’t, because we were past it. But I think if you still have it in your heart and mean it, then the more seasoning you have, the better you get. Let’s face it: are you going to pay the same price for some band you’ve never heard of as you would to see the Stones or Zeppelin?”

Originally published in Classic Rock 132

[cozymochi]

🌻🌻🌻 give us your Words

THREE CRAZY FLOWERS!??? Lets goooo

🌻- A FEW DAYS AGO me and my roommate rewatched all of avatar the last airbender. I mean, we tried to years ago but we stopped because… Ok this might sound ridiculous but we stopped 5 episodes in cuz it was too good, and we needed hardcore stupid for a while. BUT WE WENT BACK IN and wrapped it up in a few days and it’s still ballin’ as ever. I don’t have much to say beyond that.

🌻- YESTERDAY, I got a Shadow the Hedgehog plushie at a comic store because. Anyway, threw on Sonic X (subbed for a change wooo) a few hours later smack in the middle of season 3 to get some Shadow vibes in cuz he is the original scrunkly. …OKAY im actually done talking about him, If I get started on my sonic bs I never stop BUT

It’s absolutely bonkers to me how Sonic X just like…has virtually no music score????? It’s been a minute since I’ve seen Season 1-2 subbed, but Season 3 has barely any compositions at all. And everything is so….slow? You know how anime used to just…stick to one shot or draw something out for a reaaally long time? That’s pretty much every episode. I chalk that up to the mid animation (it’s crazy that this will be the same studio that would eventually handle 2019 Fruits Basket). As much as I do dislike how loud and tonally deaf the 4Kids score is, I did miss the character leitmotifs a bit. I can only imagine what a combo would’ve been like with proper atmosphere. Every now and then I’d HOPE the music would pop off but there’d be whole ass action sequences and score is just a constant low, droning wubwubwubwubwub noise. Once in a blue moon an Adventure 1 event song might play BUT OTHER THAN THAT ITS DEAD SILENCE or wubwubwubwubwub. ITs Just so baffling to me considering how peak the music in the games are, you’d think that’d be utilized in it’s anime. Tho Live and Learn playing at the end of the Project Shadow arc??? Bruh. Cinema.

…Anyway all that said, the Metarex arc is still pretty peak. And I really think Sonic X would’ve benefitted hard from today’s animation standard, cuz it srsly NEEDS that sense of speed to convey the insane stuff more 😩. Though Sonic X as it was would never be made today in the “let’s be safe and squeaky bclean for the brand” landscape. Not enough hurr hurr chili dog 👹 SEE LOOK IM GOING OFF FOREVER THIS IS WHY I CANT GET ON MY BS—-

🌻- If the “talking about watching every disney film” thing ever comes out, I’m dodging copyright by re-drawing the shots we talk about or make new jokes. “But you could just use screenshots” ermmmmmmmm maybe. But what’s MORE extra than trying to go by memory AND try and show off on a thing 80% of people would only strictly listen to? ;) ….Besides, it’d be different I think. Sorta. I’d hope. It’s still in the early stages.

What if I’m not funny whaT if

[fourseasonsfigs]

Hug a Column

Similar to yesterday's Hug a Pig fig, this fig had me scratching my head when I saw it. I had no idea what it was supposed to be, or represent. But when I found out, I was entirely charmed!

For the inspiration for this fig, we're hopping into the wayback machine - all the way back to Gong Jun's college days!

At university, Gong Jun was in a performance of Molière's play The Miser. He played Harpagon, the titular miser. We have this little snippet of him performing in this role:

I'm assuming this is the part in the play where he digs up his moneybox to discover it has been stolen. That's a bad day indeed for a miser!

A fig maker was so delighted by this performance, they rendered it in fig form. And I'm so delighted they did!

The fig arrived, as all PVC figs do, in a sealed little pouch inside a box. Also inside the box is the column that the fig will be hugging.

There was nothing to it for assembly - I just threaded the thinner end of the column up through his arms from underneath.

As such. The base of the column actually forms another support for the fig, so it stands on it's own quite well. However, the column is fairly loosely held in his arms, so it moves around.

You can see how the fig's right hand is holding on to the column - that's the main point of contact and sort of what controls the column in his arms. My fig wanted to hold the column in a way that pulled it closer to him, which gives it a bit of a lean.

So, I stuck the fig on a fig stand, and you can see how it helped to keep it more vertical. I did not stick the column itself (and now I'm second guessing myself as I look at these pics).

Harpagon-Jun's shocked and distressed face is adorable! Never has a 70-year old money grubbing character looked so cute.

The column is going to look more or less totally vertical as the pics progress around the figure. Some of that is due to my ever-present camera wobble, but it's also true that the column isn't 100% vertical either. It looks pretty good from this angle!

The fig maker did a great job with the tattered smock and little slipper-shoes that Harpagon-Jun was wearing in the play. It's of course not very complex of a design, but it's rendered really cutely, with his rosy little legs and arms sticking out.

The video of Gong Jun is lower quality due to the age, so it's hard for me to tell too much detail of his hair, but I bet the fig maker did some heavy forensic scrutiny of the video. I am positive this is very close to what his hair looked like.

This is such an extra-charming fig now that I know the backstory. I really hesitated before buying it at the time, but now I'm super glad I got him!

Some creative and clever JZPs put a straw hat on him and swapped out the column for veggies. A big chili pepper! It's hilarious and also super cute. He can hold all kinds of stuff.

Ahahaha his little expression! I love him.

The fig maker did a great job of making this face look even younger than normal.

*************

Whoa! What are the Fig Spice Stars (tm) doing in the middle of a fig post about a college play fig?

No, there's exactly Zero (0) spiciness factor here, but I surprised myself a little when I reopened this pic, so in consideration of you maybe reading this on public transportation or something, the pic that follows is the VERY usual bottoms-up angle I take for all the figs nowadays.

BUT! The Miser is TOO cheap to even buy underwear. There's nothing to see, but it's got a bit of an up-smock feel to it.

Alright! That person shouldn't have been looking over your shoulder on public transportation anyway, they had that coming.

You can see how the circle of his arms actually doesn't have a ton of space - just enough real estate for the column, or a few flowers, or a chili pepper.

I took some liberties translating the name of this fig (because you know that's exactly what someone slowly and painfully working their way through Chinese HSK 1 in 15 minutes a day should do).

According to my translate app, 抱柱 傻俊 means "hold a column silly handsome". The handsome of course is Gong Jun's first name. 抱 is hold/ hug, and is the same character in Zhehan's Hug a Pig fig yesterday. There's the obvious symmetry about figs in the same release having similar names and concepts. The column part is self-explanatory. So that just leaves out silly! I couldn't think of a way to fit it into the fig name, so I just went with the symmetry. I like it!

Material: PVC (fig) and wood (column)

Fig Count: 378

Scene Count: 26 (I don't think this counts, even if it IS a scene from a play!)

Rating: Cuter than a box of gold!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]