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[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]
"From [North] America, they traveled to Australia and New Zealand, then back to the U.S. again. They didn’t have extended time in the U.K. until the end of April (when they were likely writing/recording Take Me Home, as well as rehearsing for their continuing Up All Night tour).
In the gifs above, OT5 are pictured at a Much Music interview from May 2012, unavailable to view [I have added the video link. Btw, at 16:06 there is another very interesting moment where they start talking about Larry Stylinson and Liam says "It's true!"] —the one with the two red tables, where the interviewer asks about boys kissing, and Niall’s wearing a lavender t-shirt and backwards snapback.
Interviewer: “How do you balance [making an album] with how busy you are, and all these concert dates?” Harry shrugs, “You tell us!” Louis says, “We ask ourselves the same question!” Interviewer: “You already have nearly a hundred shows confirmed and almost sold out—for 2013. How do you plan your lives that far in advance?” Harry and Liam laugh, “We don’t!” Louis says, “We wish we did!” [I added the video link]
In Florida during the Up All Night tour in [July] 2012, Niall comments that he spent "30 days at home [in 2011]. So, that's a big difference from 365..." [link to whole interview video]
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Q: Many of these groups get huge but burn out after three or so years. What’s your plan to make sure that doesn’t happen?
Simon Cowell: “Be sensible and treat them as human beings, genuinely. That’s the most important thing. Traditionally, record companies would put out the most possible product in a short period of time, thinking you only have two or three years. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case now. If you’re sensible and you don’t burn them out, you don’t have to put a time limit on this anymore. And they’re so young, these guys.”
Rolling Stone Q&A with Simon Cowell (by Andy Greene, April 2012, emphasis mine)
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“I’ve never known a band to announce a second summer tour before a first summer tour is over. It’s insane – they’re working them like dogs and printing money right now.” — Andy Greene, May 2012
During This Is Us promo in August 2013, Harry says, "If we could choose the perfect scenario, I would be 'the well-rested one.' "
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Simon Cowell, 2015: “This is five years, literally non-stop. I’m amazed they’ve done it for so long… I hope [they’ll get back together], but like I said, it’s not going to be because of any pressure from me… like we said in the beginning, this is an opportunity, you won it, and I’ve always had that attitude with them…. Look, even though they’re young, that is a gruelling schedule and after a while I could see they were exhausted, so when they said, “How do you feel about it?” I said, “Do whatever you want.” Having a year off is going to be a healthy thing.’
Also during This is Us promo, during one of their multiple press conferences, [in August 2013] a reporter asks, "Did you have a choice to say no to this documentary?" Harry half-shakes his head, and leans in to speak. Niall almost imperceptibly shakes his head, and tightens his mouth.
––––––
Niall, October 2012: I've a re-occurring knee injury from playing football. I've dislocated my knee ten times in the last two years. Operation time for me.
So are you gonna have to go and get an operation done? When?
Niall: (shrugs) Whenever I have time. ...[come up with] a couple years. (Late Late Show, October 2012)
14 months later, January 2014: after performing 123 shows during the Take Me Home tour (only a portion of his responsibilities during that time), 20-year-old Niall had major knee surgery that was 'much larger than anticipated'. He began a new tour with One Direction about three months later, after One Direction’s first extended break since forming as a group.
––––––
From January 2011 – December 2015, One Direction:
• wrote for and recorded 5 albums (91 songs included on the albums)
• performed 327 full concerts as headliners during four tours (on the road for about 110 weeks total)
• were interviewed more than 800 times by various media
• performed at least 97 times on television
• visited at least 37 countries, often more than once
• walked some 33 red carpets
• filmed 18 music videos (at least 36 days’ work)
• filmed well over 100 additional miscellaneous videos
• had at least 29 photo shoots
• shot a feature-film ‘documentary,’ with cameras trailing them for months
• shot concert films for the Up All Night and Where We Are tours
Just one week of heavy promo for the feature-film This is Us in August 2013 included:
approximately 95 junket interviews appearance at the VMAs appearance at America’s Got Talent performance and interview at Today Show press conference in NY Premieres in London and New York; red carpet interviews hours of transatlantic flights
1D’s pace was much more relentless than the glancing summary I’ve given here.
–––––––
During the Four Hangout, Liam comments that there are "...a lot of meetings, there's a lot of meetings in Boybandville." [I added the video link]
(a very young and starry-eyed Zayn, Niall, Liam, Louis, and Harry are pictured above listening to the judges after their week 2 X-Factor performance, 2010) Below, Liam continues, "One thing we didn't realize when we [got in] this band is how many meetings you have." [I added the video link]
––––––
“…the business empire fronted by these cherubic faces now stretches well into the hundreds of millions of pounds, with licensing deals that include everything from lunchboxes to their own fragrances. Their ambition, or at least their management’s ambition, is seemingly infinite…
During press for Midnight Memories in France, interviewer Cauet asks, "After your films, books, perfume—what's coming up next?" Harry: Space Liam: Our own range of door handles... lampshades... curtains! Louis: Let's do radiators. Harry: Radiators. Louis: Warmth. Zayn: Next music video's on the moon! [I added the video link]
––––––
Harry Magee, Modest!Management: ‘The scale of this band is unprecedented. None of us involved in the band, from the management, to the agents, to the licensees, to retailers, have ever worked on anything this big before. There might be huge acts that have been going longer than 25 years but they are not nearly as broad as One Direction, especially when it comes to selling tickets and selling merchandise. …in terms of per-head numbers for merchandise we have broken all the numbers. We need more stands at the gigs. More people serving.’ … (GQ magazine, August 2013, emphasis mine)
(C'Cauet clip continues) Louis: One Direction central heating, I think. Liam: People. Our own range of people! Niall: Coffee tables! Liam: Opening a pet shop! Zayn: On the moon. (C’Cauet sur NRJ, 14 December 2013)
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April 2012, below: it was rumored Simon had given them each 2 million pounds because they were so successful — Niall and Harry said ‘not true.’ In the first gif, Harry says, "He's a bit tight, Simon is." "That's why he's so successful, he's able to keep his money to himself,” Niall laughs.
––––––
1D partial gross revenue 2011-2014 (3 tours, 3 films): more than $500 million xx xx xx xx
(Here’s an enlightening post re: 1D finances) [updated the link]
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Niall: You know when the Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block came back a few months ago? And all they did were arena tours. That’s how I’d like to be remembered.
Liam: Yeah, just pop in and do an arena tour every ten years…
Niall: Sell out Wembley. Smash it hard. Home in time for tea.
Liam: Fingers crossed, eh? (Aug 2013)
In the gif above, OT5 hug in a tight bundle on the day of their X-Factor Judges' House audition, when Louis had an injured foot.
–––––––
One Direction were/are ambitious… but one must consider their ages when they signed their contracts, who truly managed their schedule (’This is what you have to do if you want to succeed’) and the pressure to continue making money.
Beginning with X-Factor in October 2010, One Direction didn’t get any extended break until 21 Dec 2013 – Feb 2014, about nine weeks.
As students in the UK, they would've received anywhere from 10-22 weeks of vacation a year—not to mention being at home with the love and support of their families and friends.
master list of March 2012 filmed promo [by @youcancallmeathief]
March 2012 timeline [ @bulletprooflarry]
Four Hangout, Nov 2014
(all gifs by OP, @quietasides)"
One Direction won at the Brit Awards on 21 February 2012. Harry had just turned 18, Liam and Niall were 18, Zayn was 19, and Louis was 20.
Adding gif captions in italics! Above, the four gifs show some moments from Four Hangout, November 2014. Liam, Louis, and Zayn are pictured sitting on the red couch. Louis says, “I remember that first American promo trip was relentless.” Liam: “Crazy.” Niall: “Nuts.” Louis: “I think it was like three weeks on the trot that we were away [from home].” Liam asks him, “Do you remember when we were doing, like, ten�� things at once, as well? Doing interviews and signing and something else…” Louis: “That’s what it was all like. It was all just so, so manic.” Liam: “Crazy.”
Three days after the Brits, they were in Chicago for a radio interview/meet and greet. They also opened for Big Time Rush that night, and proceeded to play 12 shows over the next two weeks, each in a different city. During March they also did at least six signings, some smaller performances (such as three songs on the Today Show), and over 60 interviews.
14 March 2012, above: Louis, Harry, and Liam are pictured during one of the nine+ interviews they filmed that day. The interviewer asks, “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not working?” Liam replies with a rueful laugh, “Have days off!”
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#this post is EXCELLENT and the info is terrifying#my god#timeline#masterpost#one direction#in this house WE HATE SYCO#in this house WE HATE MODEST!#also all this machinery…. and 2 closets that needed to be kept sealed#a never ending circle#gifs ranging from 2010-2014#2015#work schedule#elongated for archive purposes
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g’day! i saw that you're receiving requests: so is it OK to request osamu with his significant other who calls him "ochamu" instead of "osamu" just to get a reaction out of him? sort of like baby talking his name if that makes sense??? i think it's super funny that he might look at you like you're crazy at first then get used to it overtime (atsumu gives him the side eye every single time) 😭
but ofc, this is more of a suggestion if anything ^^ feel free to delete/ignore if it doesn't spark any inspo or you don't have any thoughts on it! ++ i know you wrote abt samu recently so maybe he should wait a little longer to get his turn PFFT. thanks for your time btw! i love your workssss ✨
Baby Talk
note: I love your brain omg- this was so fun to write lol. Hope you like it!!!
“Ochamuuu, pay attention to me.”
The moment the word ‘Ochamu’ was uttered from your lips, Osamu did not react positively. Sitting on the other side of the sofa, you see his lip curl in disgust. The side eye directed towards you was lethal.
“What. Was. That.”
It was hard, but you managed to hold your giggles in. You pull the most innocent face you can and say, “What do you mean, Ochamu?”
He immediately gags and puts his hand out at you. “Oh my god. No. Babe, what the fuck.” He's looking at you like you grew a second head. You laugh and punch his arm.
“What? What did I do?” He raises his brows and laughs, perplexed.
“What did ya do? Ya sound stupid. Don't do that again, it was creepy.”
You giggle again and respond, “I love you, ‘chamu.” His frown gets even deeper as he stands up from the couch and walks away shaking his head.
“I love you too, but no. Just no.”
–
“Ochamu, pass the salt please.” You ask sweetly. He stops mid bite and turns to you unimpressed.
“Really? This again?” You hum and shrug your shoulders. “I have no idea what you are referring to, my dear husband.” He gives a small smile and resumes eating.
“Now that's a nickname I can get behind. The other one, not so much. How the hell did ya come up with that anyway?” He questions, finally handing you what you asked for.
“I honestly don’t know. I think it came to me in a dream or something.” You gasp. “It was a message from a higher power. Ochamu is your destined nickname, I'm sure of it.” He lets out a little chuckle at that and places a kiss on your cheek.
“Sure, whatever. If it keeps you entertained, I'll allow it.”
–
“Ochamu, have you seen my brush?” You inquire as you pop your head out of the bathroom. He's sitting on your bed, scrolling through his phone.
Without looking up, he answers, “It's on the dresser, baby.” You bite back a smile.
“Not a single comment this time, huh?” He blinks and glances up at you.
“What do ya mean?”
You let out a shocked laugh. “Wha- you didn’t even notice?! I used that nickname you hate.” He groans and throws a pillow at you. “Yer usin’ it too damn much! Messin’ with my head!” He huffs and crosses his arms. You roll your eyes and move to sit down next to him.
“Admit you like the baby talk.” He gives you another dose of side eye.
“I’d rather not.”
–
You, Osamu, and Atsumu had all decided to go grocery shopping for dinner ingredients. Rather, you and Osamu were, and Atsumu tagged along because he was bored. Osamu was in charge of the list, Atsumu was pushing the cart, and you were the one grabbing the ingredients. You were walking aisle to aisle, taking your time, while Atsumu was grumbling like a bored child.
“Ochamu, what's next on the list?” He opens his mouth to respond but gets cut off.
“Ew, what the hell?” Atsumu makes a grossed out face and does a barfing motion. “Yer such a weirdo! ‘Samu, ya let her call ya that?!” Osamu scoffs and takes your hand, leaving Atsumu behind.
“Yer just jealous yer single. Scrub.” You can still hear Atsumu squawking when you get to the next aisle.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#hq#hq drabble#osamu miya#osamu x reader#osamu miya x reader#osamu haikyuu#osamu miya x you#haikyuu crack#miya osamu#fem!reader#haikyuu x female reader#request
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I deleted a post I had because BoBs found it and you know their brains can’t rub sticks together to make fire if their lives depend on it.
RIP Buck’s bisexuality.
This is 100% a statement about network TV’s erasure of queer representation or sanitation of it, ESPECIALLY when it concerns queer men. Queer men that don’t fit into the industry ‘mold’ of what queer men should look and act like.
Don’t come on my page with your bullshit gotcha about Hen and Karen. Yes, we know they’ve been there the whole time. WERE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO REMIND YOU ABOUT THAT. You chuckle fucks only care about them when it’s convenient because your argument is always followed up by “you only want to see white men kiss”. Keep your fetishizer ass off my blog. Especially when you want to comment “they’re obviously setting up Buddie”. No, they’re not.
Obviously he is always going to be bisexual. Bisexuality is valid regardless of who you do—or don’t—date. It’s valid if you never date at all.
HOWEVER. They couldnt even get him to say the word on screen. They’ve already sanitized it. Maddie made that joke about Abby turning men gay and the opportunity was RIGHT THERE for him to say “I’m not gay, I’m bisexual” or “she didn’t turn me gay, I’ve always been bisexual” or, just “I’m bisexual”. But no, they had him make a comment about kissing boys.
And you know another thing? 9-1-1 is lazy as hell writing their stories too. I rage quit in season one for a while with the cheating storyline. They half ass Hen’s storylines too. They’re probably even LAZIER with their writing with them. They rushed through Mara, like they didn’t already have the trauma of losing a child they were about to adopt just for three seconds later they almost lose Denny?(although, I will say, it was important for them to highlight that the goal for foster care is always reunification.)
People are allowed to be upset with the fumbles. There’s been some absolute heartbreaking comments from the GA about this. We can love the representation of Black queer women and still be upset for the fumble in such a groundbreaking representation they had. Two things can be true at the same time.
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Oh yay a comment that’s so nice of the- I will beat you to death with hammers
#I deleted the comment don’t go looking for it#Dude idk. I don’t like when people comment to look at their stuff too. It feels rude and like you don’t actually care#Like you’re just advertising. stfu!!#I’m probably just being a petty bitch idk ☠️
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i am so fucking upset I AM SO FUCKING UPSET . i cannot convey how absolutely devastated i am like im sitting here in the dark unable to fully convey KANFKDNFKFJFJFNFN AHHHSHFJRJGKKGKGKFKFKFKFKGKFK
okok im sorry i do have some things to say as general statements abt my experience and ur skills before we get into some of the nitty gritty 😭 but first off, moni, i am ashamed to say i somehow missed that u dedicated this to me. i am so so sorry for not seeing it for some awful reason, but pls know that i am so honored—like beyond honored and appreciative. u r crazy good at ur craft and i am so happy ur posting ur fiction for us to read :'))
also, i def mentioned it in my notes below, but i loooove the film quality of your writing. like the i could see the color shifts. OH MY GOD I ALSO DIDNT TALK ABT THE RELATION OF WINTER TO THE SENEFNKRNFJT TO THE END IM UPSET AGAIN i literally cannot. u have a talent for coaxing me to hand over my heart and then watching u squeeze it :')))) im upset :')))) ur really too good and i... im biting my knuckles and struggling to type bc i wanna cry
thank u for this. i know u say this fic is something ur most proud of, and that is incredibly well merited. like oh my god. i can't right now i kind of just want to cry
also, before i put my notes below, i wanted to include the songs i listened to during this and i think i def picked an appropriate playlist skfnekfn: they see me dream (tbz), future me (hailey knox), dream launch (wayv), wings (tbz), smiling thru. (slchld), square one (tbz), someday faraway (labit), empty box (atz), same dream, same mind, same night (svt), 111 (thuy), the race (chris james), heaven - acoustic (onerepublic), raise y_our glass (huh yunjin)
omg i do have to comment on the presence of two of my like,, "older brother" figure idols uji and namjoon ekfnkrnf i always imagine them in that kind of way so the vibe just feels all the more warm haha (despite the hazy sleep-deprived solidarity going on dkgnjrnf)
WAIT.... THE CONVENIENCE STORE FROM THE TEASER... OH NO.
IT RESEMBLES UR BED AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK BUT IT DOESNT LIVE UP TO HIM?? im devastated in two sentences
the picking your fingers until blood spills is such a great humanizing detail
still, the lilacs have yet to bloom.
omg im such a sucker for flower symbolism,, this feels like a low-key reference to feelings between u and changmin? OH I SEE THEY DINT EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER YET SKFNDKFN THIS CHANGES THINGS
PLS THE "im sure they wouldn't mind working w u" ASSIGNED PAIRINGS IS SOOOOOO im getting ptsd from middle school 😭😭 that feeling of everyone knowing someone and ur just kind of alone, knowing no one will likely come to u themselves,,, but changmin... tsk tsk i have a feeling abt you....... IM ONTO U SIR
you look back at changmin; he’s still looking at you. ; (you’re still thinking about the dips in his cheeks.)
IM ONTO U JI CHANGMIN (also so real tho... his dimples are like... meant to be the centerpiece of an art gallery)
KUMON. (i mercifully never had to face that, but maybe that's why i fkn suck at math today 💀)
oh no....
i swear this is related, but im listening to wayv's dream launch and reading this part in particular w the song is so... i feel so emo rn like its okay yn-bear... you'll be okay i swear, i know it sucks now but one day ur dreams will come true even if its hard to detach ourselves from our parents' expectations and influences
also the imagery here is so visceral and vivid... like i can see it in my mind, the way you're so used to the feeling, but u still shake them off anyway bc u dont want them to linger; u can't breathe w them there, so /present/
don’t you think that some of the stories that we read hold fragments of someone?
i love this line and totally agree w this
also wanted to add that changmin trying to coax this info out of them is so :(( i love him
AWH WAIT PAPERCUT ART AND FORMING IMAGES OUT OF THEM SUCH A COOL IDEA its like the deletion(?) poetry where u take a piece of text and blot out all words except for certain ones to form poetry?
the idol comment,,, the fourth wall is shaking
OMG THE PIC???? SO GOOD WHAT I LOVE THIS AND AS A VISUAL AID/SUPPLEMENT TOO?? omg and ending this section w the single lilac having bloomed TT ugh i love callbacks to symbols
your tastebuds long for cheongju.
baaaaaanger line
jongseobs characterization >>> I LOOOVE IMPISH YOUNGER SIBLING CODED CHARACTERS
still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.
and this one too ^ i feel this. the exhaustion and yearning that settles in your bones until ur convinced emotion really does carry tangible weight i love longing-for-homeisms
you and changmin were once painted with the hues of the sun. this reunion is tainted with blue.
I CHOKED. also i would like to comment on the delicious pacing of this past scene from when u realize who's standing right next to u and how the world seems to rush back toward the present from the past and ur frantic and slapping money into jongseobs palms and then—"yn?"—world stop. IIIIINHALES .. SCREAMS SO GOOD
love the blue stain over my view btw
idk how to feel abt the grape flavor being yns favorite 🧍🏻♀️ u do u tho
THIS???????? THIS!!!!!!! what did u deserve to know just feels so right in this situation,, when you've fallen out of touch who used to be ur world—when u r no longer their world or in their world, how much should you reveal? do they still care? where is the line drawn now?
if you miss home, why is your first instinct to run away from it?
im tearing at the walls. i am unfortunately devastated by this question. home is such a... its a complicated thing for so many people.
the black limbs slowly ate away at your heart; the void was born.
THEYRE BACK but now, instead of simply curling arounf ur heart, they're digging their nails into it and ripping chunks of it away
the lingering feelings of envy and resentment of changmins home life versus yns is so... like i think it adds such an important layer of nuance to their relationship
because you still wanted more for him than you did for yourself.
OH MY GOD
oh my god
AND THE DISTANCE FEELS GREATER NOW.. oh my god... the silence and the negative space r so loud... oh my god.....
the contrast to the next segment in summer is so staggering dkgndjnfnf also congrats to them for levelling up in friendship to calling each other fuckers!! LMFAO i adore their little back n forth here haha their arguing over the phone, to arguing over popsicle flavors
LOVEBIRDS SKCNDKFNKFNXKDKKDKD
astrophysics is cool when someone on yt is explaining it in layman's terms or ur in the space.com website, but not when ur looking at all those nightmarish equations... *shudders violently*
from that day on, you’ve learned to keep his name out of conversations. you’ll enjoy what you have with changmin, even if it has to be kept under the wraps.
in a way, this is like a form of protection, not only protecting ur own freedom and agency but akso protecting the person who has wormed his way into ur life and is determined to stay,, someone who seems to be the one good thing happening to u at that moment
im so... i wish i could sit yn down and give them a hug and a pep talk. they do know how to persevere. they're literally pushing thru right now
FINGER TRAP FINGER TRAP TITLE MENTIONED THIS IS NOT A DRILL
omg THE PROFILES SJCBDJFN THEYRE GONNA BE INTERVIEWING OUR BOYZ DJFBKDNCKDNF i am Howling at the moon
THIS??? IS FUCKING EVERYTHING???????? the different colors of cheongju seep thru gaaaaaaawd the careful wall you've built to rpetend ur past is behind u has now returned to remind u that it does, in fact, still exist. it will not hesitate to break ur bubble of present reality
i have a violent urge to throttle a couple who are poor excuses for parents
also just bringing in the murky waters rising and drowning u and filling ur lungs is just as compelling and visceral through this section. like u described it perfectly well, how when ur starting to lose oxygen, your chest burns and its slow but throbbing
are you nothing but an array of achievements and failures?
aren't we all though? :(
NOW UR HOME IS CHANGMIN.
i love just imagining ur writing like a movie, like this part in particular u can just kind of envision these things flicking across the screen chuchuchuchu—back to the present. finger traps.... clinging onto those fragments of the past... when u try to rip your fingers out of a finger trap, it grips onto u tighter; a slow withdrawal is the only way to escape... oh god
WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE ONE OF DESTINY x2 I SEE U MONI I SEE YOU.
HE WAS THE ONE OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM IM GONNA GNAW MY FINGERS OFF
im very slow today but the incorporation of all four szns into the sections of this fic is like mwah MWAHMWAHMWAH and hE CANT WAIT TO SHARE THIS SZN W U?? IM YELLING??? ugh i think im too single.
dude my heart dropped into my ass . what r these fuckass parents doing
WHAT NINONOENFOFNFJFJ NO WHAT MONI STOP NO U CANT JUST LET THE CAR GO NO HE'S RIGHT THERE NO NONONOSNFJDNFJFJ im having a crisis no WHAT
. oh my god
Oh my god that hurts. Oh my god i cant im so
im
oh im so upset they never got closure they never got to say goodbye ur right the only way to get out of a finger trap is thru a slow withdrawal—unless the connections is severed so forcefully, it just breaks .
oh my god
i dont wanna read this interview im so upset
im so fucking upset.
finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin
ji changmin x reader
with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.
general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, gender neutral reader, some depressive and insecure thoughts, hurt/comfort, the last five years story-telling method (aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward... i hope that makes sense), brief mention of blood from picking on your skin, tiger parents so... parental issues, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, jealousy remains but love triumphs, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all
word count ➵ 15.7k words
playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by reneé rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth
a/n ➵ it's finally out! this is my submission for @deoboyznet's the love letter collective event! this work is so so personal to me on so many levels so i hope you all love and treat this fic with care :')) for the bitches who struggle with parents and dreams.... this one's for you (i am in the same boat) i appreciate everyone who's been so patient and looking forward to this fic's release. i'd like to thank @hcuyk for being a betareader for this fic! i also want to dedicate this one to @sungbeam and @wavesmp3 <3 your works inspire me so much and i think this fic is a product of how much they've influence me. hanbin's version is now available! please don't forget to reblog and leave feedback!!
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist
present -> three weeks after the interview, 2024
the newsroom never sleeps. the rings of landlines and clacks of keyboards bounce off the four walls. through light bulbs or sunshine, light continues to remain. and at every corner, a journalist stands—ready to enter the depths of slumber but remain on their toes as they await for an update on their unraveling story.
but the newsroom is rarely busy unless there’s a major nationwide event, election season or the super bowl to name a few, for most journalists are out to discover what the world has to offer.
knowledge doesn’t only come from the chitchat of your coworkers. it’s only on the field that you’ll hear of hearsay and testimonies. after all, the choice to probe rests on your shoulders.
“there’s a typo over there.”
“huh? where?”
“over here,” you mumble as your finger darts to point at a section on the screen. “it’s supposed to say “in their climactic performance on road to kingdom,” not climatic.”
“ah, i see it now. sorry about that,” lee jihoon of digital development says as he corrects the error. his hair is disheveled from the hood that once perched on his head during the night he spent in the newsroom. you would’ve scolded the guy—go home and take a shower before you stink up the place—but you are no better, grouped with the other journalists who stayed up in the office.
“there we go. should be all good. now, are you ready to go through the profiles?”
an exhausted chuckle departs from your lips. “yeah, let’s go—”
“what’s the update?” life and arts editor kim namjoon—your editor—comes to you with a smile.
the grey hoodie he wears paired with comfortable jeans shows that he’s a little relaxed. for once, you don’t see him on his phone, battling the deadlines or getting pitched stories by the other editors. it’s a nice sight but one that won’t last for long.
“we just finished going through the article about the group, so we still have yet to go through the profiles.” jihoon then looks at you. “i can’t believe you basically wrote 12 articles. like, 11 profiles and one main article is a lot. you didn’t want to work on it with anyone else?”
once namjoon stands beside you, you bump your shoulder against his figure. “i didn’t have a choice, did i?” it’s a rhetorical question but one your editor still chooses to answer.
“unfortunately, we’re understaffed, but it seemed like you got the hang of it. i wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.” namjoon shoots you a smile before redirecting his attention back to jihoon. “and as much as i’d love to tell y/n more, we have to pick up the pace.” without any further questions, the three of you resume with work.
there’s no time to waste in the journalism industry. still, his praise doesn’t go unnoticed.
one article turned into eight done in a matter of 30 minutes, all with the help of three pairs of eyes to go through them. (namjoon seemed to carry the heavy lifting. after all, the guy was trained to be quick in reading and spotting errors.)
it should’ve been easy to keep up with your editor for all the other articles; you know each profile like the back of your hand.
then, the face of a boy who you once knew sits on the screen.
his gaze seems to pierce through your soul, almost in the same way you last talked to him. the loose ends of composure slip through your fingers; your breath’s stuck in your throat as the hammering of your heart fills your ears. yet, he stands still on the monitor.
as your eyes drift through the passages you’ve written, every sound is drowned out. the voice of your editor fades like the everchanging seasons and the clicks of the keyboard resemble the sobs you let out in the comfort of your childhood room.
and suddenly, the hands of the clock have turned all the way back to 2014. the cubicles transformed into aisles of chips and instant ramen, and you hear mr. kim’s voice in the distance—i have some hotteok! fresh from the pan! but amidst it all, you hear the giggles of the boy, your best friend, as he rushes towards you—i’ll go audition and make you proud. as your arm is wrapped with the heat of his fingers, you almost believe that your life as a journalist is nothing but a dream—
“i knew him.” the illusion disappears within a blink of an eye. namjoon’s eyes snap towards you and jihoon stops scrolling through the website. “we went to the same high school.”
you aren’t sure why you revealed that to your coworkers, let alone your boss. it’s an old memory—your weight to carry. before you can apologize for disrupting their work, namjoon’s hand rests on your shoulder, his thumb drawing shapes into it. when you look over at him, you’re greeted by his smile. it resembles your bed after a long day of work or a slow day at the newsroom.
but it never lives up to him, whose giggles resemble nature’s symphonies. the two shots of espresso you need at the start of the day once came in the form of his warm embrace. most of all, his smile is enough to illuminate the world even through the strongest storms and times when power went out.
for the remaining articles, not a single word leaves you. before you know it, all 12 articles were ready to go up on the web.
“that’s all of it. should i still schedule them to go up around 12 p.m.?” jihoon notes as he saves the drafts.
“yeah, 12 p.m. still sounds good. thanks a lot.” namjoon nudges his shoulder before looking over to you. “let’s talk in my office.”
you don’t question his orders. once namjoon takes off, you follow him all the way to his office. as he swings the door open, you are met with the familiar sight of his workspace. hues of green and brown mix, where nature and art meet within the space of corporate.
once namjoon takes a seat on his chair, you find your spot across from him. his eyes stare off to the window. for a moment, you’re not sure what to expect from this impromptu meeting.
seconds pass and not a single word has been said—
“this place’s always alive,” your editor breaks the silence. “don’t you think so?”
you follow his line of sight. busy seoul never changes; the skyscrapers pollute the sky and the people never sleep, off to work or off to party.
“where’d you grow up again?”
you look back at namjoon whose eyes still remain locked on the city. “cheongju.”
he hums. “i haven’t been there. nice place?”
“yeah, but i haven’t gone back in a while.”
“when was the last time?” his eyes finally meet yours.
your teeth grasp the inside of your cheek. “2014, since i first left,” you admit.
“do you miss it?”
you’re not sure how to answer. the pavements you’ve scraped your knees against and the walls your laughs bounced off of—do you miss them all? or is the reason behind your laughter and scabs the one you long for?
“is that why you were hesitant about interviewing them?” namjoon’s thumbs fiddle with each other. “because of your history with him?”
now, you stare at your linked hands. maybe the silence from you is enough to answer his question but you know namjoon would never settle for a soundless answer.
“i—i’m not a good person. and even if i didn’t make the choice to leave, i—” you hold yourself back. your fingers start to pick on the skin around your thumbs, peeling it so blood can spill.
“it’s okay, i understand. you don’t have to share it with me.” your eyes drift back to namjoon, spotting a small smile that rests on his face. “it must’ve been hard to relive it all.”
the bond you have with namjoon is one that you hold close to your heart. through his mentorship, you got to learn about what it means to be a writer. the fears of being a journalist would loom over you, where questions of salary and demanding work hours would occupy your mind, but namjoon became someone who would absolve them all. he became a pillar in your life, one that provides you hope and comfort within the industry.
“so, don’t feel pressured to talk about it. but if you ever want to open up about it, then i’ll be here.”
namjoon’s giving you an exit. are you willing to take it?
you cross your arms as you lean back into the chair. “you know how i was a science major then?”
“yeah, i remember looking over your resume. and then i saw that you were part of your university’s publication.”
your tongue pushes against the inside of your cheek. “i would’ve gotten some job in that field, like, i had it lined up for me.”
“really? like lab coat and all?”
as namjoon attempts to hold back his laugh over the image, you chuckle along. “yeah, lab coat and all! it’s crazy how my life was all set for that field, but i’m here now.” you look down at your arms. “i think just facing him in a completely different field that i once used to imagine with him was just strange. but i think hearing his answers really did it for me.”
namjoon nods at your words. “care to have lunch with me?” your eyes snap back to your editor. “i’m guessing you want to talk about it, after all.”
all you do is smile before getting off your seat.
spring of 2014
the season of spring has graced cheongju; the sun gleams in the expanse of blue and birds perched on tree branches sing their songs. it’s the perfect season to embrace the wonders of the town.
while it would be a delight to bask under the returning warmth, you’re stuck within the walls of the classroom, head resting on crossed arms.
still, the lilacs have yet to bloom.
“y/n.” you quickly sit up before your eyes settle on your adviser, ms. jeon, who stands in front of the classroom. “let’s take attendance.”
with that, you’re beside her as you call out each name on the class list. it’s a quick process of saying your classmates’ names for them to respond in variations of “present,” until you reach the section of last names that start with a ‘j’.
“ji changmin.” no response.
you rip your eyes off the piece of paper, only met with your classmates who either look at each other in confusion or spaced out in their own worlds.
“ji changmin?” when you’re met with the same reaction, you’re ready to mark the student absent—
“sorry!” the doors slam open. a boy clad in a white polo and jogging pants is panting by the entrance, covered in sweat as he rests on the edge of it. “sorry, i’m late.”
“oh, it’s okay! you arrived just in time.” ms. jeon smiles at the tardy student. as you watch him take a seat, his eyes lock with yours, but your adviser nudges you before saying, “y/n, proceed.”
ji changmin made his name a few years back at a competition. the applause and roars from the crowd marked his spot in the school. others describe his movement as of cranes, standing in the middle of a pond as they do their best to minimize forming any ripples, or of elephants, swaying their trunks with control like no other.
but he’s a versatile dancer; nothing can truly capture him.
once you’ve finished marking the attendance, you go back to your seat. you’re ready to start the day with no bother but you can’t shake the feeling of being watched.
“now, you can see in these,” your art teacher, ms. park, points to the screen showcasing works from her favorite contemporary artists like kwon yongju and félix gonzález-torres, “that there are no borders to what constitutes art. and that’s not wrong because we have to recognize that art comes in different forms as we progress, from traditional painting and sculptures to digital ones.”
this field isn't your strong suit. with a greater understanding of the sciences, you struggle to create anything that could be on par with the works of any artist. yet, you enjoyed learning about every piece that your teacher shared, like unfolding and admiring something you know you can never replicate or create. still, the universe decides that they have other plans for you.
“as i mentioned before, i’ll be giving you time to work on your final assessment, which is to create an artwork for the class exhibit. for this deliverable, i’m asking that your work will be a collaborative one, meaning you aren’t working alone.” in a sea of chatter, some groans exit your classmates. “remember, inspiration doesn’t come from your own bubble! take this as your opportunity to create something that you’ve never imagined.”
within a split second, students are off their seats as they attempt to find a partner to work with. you, however, were struggling to think of who you could team up with. admittedly, you have a very different work style compared to others—even cheng xiao, aspiring valedictorian, didn’t enjoy working with you. she turned every activity into a competition against you. (you didn’t enjoy her, either.) while you’re considering shamefully going up to your classmates like a stray dog looking for anyone willing to care for them—
“hi!” in front of you stands the tardy student of today, all smiles as his hands find comfort in the pockets of his jogging pants. “do you have a partner already?”
with furrowed eyebrows, you can’t help but look him up and down. “no, why?”
“well,” changmin looks around the classroom, “everyone seems to have paired up except for us.” as his eyes drift back to you, he flashes you a smile, one that shows the dips engraved into his cheeks. “which leaves me to ask if you would like to work with me for this.”
you don’t have a choice. ms. park would never bend the rules for you. if anything, she would find a way to pair you with another student who would dread the idea of working with you. (“i’m sure they won’t mind being partners with you, right?” is what she would ask the poor student, only to be met with their retreat.)
“unless we accept a failing mark, which i’m sure we both don’t want.” it’s not like changmin had a choice as well.
“okay.” with one word, light fills his eyes, enough to resemble the starlight that grazes your skin every night. “we can meet and discuss our schedules, especially because i’ve got ap stat, and you have, uhm,” a cough leaves you, “training, i’m assuming, or rehearsals. i don’t really know what you call them.”
his eyebrows shoot up as his mouth parts open. “o—oh, yeah. i usually have training after class until 8 p.m. on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays.”
“same. my classes are until 7 p.m. on tuesdays and thursdays, so maybe we can use the other days to work together?”
with one nod from him, his dimples reappear. “great! i’ll see you tomorrow.”
before you know it, everyone finds their way back to their seats for ms. park’s final reminders. you do your best to pay attention to every announcement, jotting down every word on your planner and planning out your agenda for the upcoming weeks. yet, your eyes seem to have a mind of their own as they drift back to the boy who discreetly passes notes to kim donghan, another dancer on the team, all while listening to the teacher.
you don’t notice how long you spend staring at changmin until he turns to meet your gaze. in that split second, you look at each other—then, embarrassment washes over you. you shift your attention back to ms. park. as you drum your fingers against the desk, mentally kicking yourself over the interaction, you still can’t shake the feeling of being watched.
you look back at changmin; he’s still looking at you.
his dimples make their reappearance before he looks back at ms. park. you do the same as you attempt to listen to her ramble about banksy’s works.
(you’re still thinking about the dips in his cheeks.)
the first time you get to meet with changmin for the project happens the following week. you two had different commitments to attend to, whether it be other projects or training. and while you would usually settle to meet in the school library or a cafe nearby, you find yourself inside the empty gymnasium, sitting on bleachers while your partner stands in front of mirrors.
“don’t you think it would be nice to combine our hobbies together?”
your pencil taps against the notebook. “like, your dancing? with what?”
“whatever you like to do!” once he makes his way to you, he leans on the row in front of you with crossed arms. “i mean, do you have anything you like to do during your free time?”
a scoff leaves you. “funny of you to assume that i have free time.”
“what’s your schedule like?”
“well, i have our classes and ap ones, then kumon at night.”
changmin reels at the thought of your schedule. “that’s brutal. the last time i had kumon was back in grade 4.”
“yeah, but i’m sure yours is busy as well. the amount of time that you put into training is…” his eyes are wide, hanging on your words. it’s the hope they hold that has you say, “admirable.”
a shy smile takes over his features. “yeah, but it’s only because my family is supportive of what i do.”
then, limbs whose color resembles the void slither their way to your heart, wrapping around it while the organ struggles to beat; it’s a slow process but an unending hole that will birth from it. yet, you do your best to fight off these limbs, unraveling them one by one in hopes it will give up—until you settle for shaking them off.
you only muster out a hum.
“do you have anything you like to do during those short breaks?”
your lips trill. “i don’t know. watch something on youtube?”
his cheeks puff up, stuck in his thoughts as he tries to navigate this project—and you—until his eyes glint. “what do you do when you want to vent?”
“you sure have a lot of questions,” you comment, trying to hold back a chuckle at his curiosity. “i can just adjust to you. maybe attempt to draw, picture, or even film you.”
his eyebrows furrow. “but that wouldn’t make it collaborative. i want us to work on something that aligns with what we do.”
a beat passes.
he holds your gaze. “i want us to create something that shows us.”
inside you, a gong is struck; its sound reverberates throughout your body, from the crown of your forehead to the tips of your toes. then, silence seeps in—a moment only for you and him.
“i, uh, write,” you whisper as your eyes shift to the notebook resting on your lap.
“really? like, stories and poetry?”
you nod. “i like writing people’s stories more, but i do like making ones.” when you look back at changmin, his eyes are still filled with curiosity. “i would, like, find interviews online and try to make my own, sort of, uhm—god this is embarrassing. forget about it.”
“huh? no, it isn’t!” he attempts to reassure your shrunken figure. “i mean, you don’t have to share more if you really don’t want to, but i’d like to hear more about it.” and when his dimples appear, you almost can’t help but feel your face warm up.
“i’d make articles, i guess?” he nods along with your words. “i don’t know, it’s just interesting to hear about people’s lives and kind of create something out of it, and i like thinking about all the possibilities of who would love to hear them. like, don’t you think that some of the stories that we read hold fragments of someone?”
“that’s an interesting way to look at it.”
as you doodle on your notebook, you say, “yeah, it’s just fun to hear these stories and maybe create something out of it. or even think of stories that i could never live out, you know?” you expect yourself to be met with the bored face of changmin but his eyes remain on you.
“what if you interview me?”
your eyebrows shoot up. “you?”
“yeah,” he stands up before walking up to your row, finding a spot beside you. “think of me as your first interviewee if you want.”
the sudden suggestion has you stumbling over your words. “huh? b—but, i don’t have questions prepared. and how does this help our project?”
when his arms brush against yours, you start to become aware of the distance between your shoulders—and his face from yours. warmth spreads throughout your body, almost like you’re about to have a fever. once his open hand rests near yours, you don’t know what he’s asking.
“let me draw it out for you.” you hand him your pencil and notebook, allowing him to see your doodles. (you don’t miss his grin.) “you know, with that article you make, we can cut it up and create something out of it.” a roughly drawn sketch of a boy posed in the middle of a dance move now rests on the page. “i don’t know if a collage would be okay.”
as you think about what can be done, you perch your chin on your palm. “we can do papercut art? basically, it’s cutting up the article in a way to form an image.”
“oh, that sounds cool!”
“yeah, but the only challenge is that we can only use one piece of paper.” a sigh leaves you. “it would be impossible for me to even do that.”
“that’s why you have me.” his small smile causes wind chimes to ring. (you’re positive you heard them, even if there were no such things in the gymnasium.)
he continues to sketch out the layout of your joint artwork. “how do we feel about this?” on the paper, there are two boxes beside the figure, where one is labeled as “photo of me” while the other is labeled “an article by y/n.” your head tilts. “it’ll be a three-set piece. so, it’ll be a photo of me and your article, and in between is the papercut art that we’ll make.”
you hum. “you know, you’re very creative.” you look at him only to see that he’s been staring at you. “like, you’re inclined to the arts. i wouldn’t have been able to think of something like this.”
“you’re just as creative,” he argues back as he writes down something.
you shake your head before retorting, “changmin, you’re very talented. i’ve seen the way you dance,” his movements halt, “and you’re like no other dancer i’ve seen. if you ever try out to be an idol, i’m sure you’d do great, maybe end up on the list of the best dancers in the industry.”
but he shakes his head, going back to writing on your notebook and shutting down your compliments. you decide to not push.
“i can get the photo sometime during my training,” he says as he hands you your notebook.
“then i can have the questions sometime this week. for the article, i can have it done maybe four days after the interview. how does wednesday, after school, sound for the interview?”
he shoots you a smile before standing up from his seat. “that’s perfect! i’m looking forward to meeting journalist y/n.” you can’t help but scoff at what he calls you. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing,” you shake your head. “it’s just a silly name.” because the reality is that you had your future planned out—and it definitely didn’t involve that field.
he shrugs. “i don’t know, i think it would fit you.”
“but you haven’t read any of my works.”
“but i want to root for you in the same way you do for me. i don’t want you to feel ashamed of your works.” a fire ignites in your heart; it’s a fireplace.
you’re baffled that changmin, out of all people, now holds your secret, but you’re even astounded over the idea of him supporting you. you almost can’t remember the last time you heard such words of support. is it genuine or nothing but a facade?
“anyway, i’ve got to go. i need to catch up on some homework.” while you shoot him a nod, his dimples make their appearance once more. “i’ll see you tomorrow!” as he takes off, you’re left in the gymnasium with your opened notebook and unlocked heart. you look back down at his sketch surrounded by your doodles, but you don’t miss his little note—cute doodles btw <3
the season of spring has unfolded in cheongju; a single lilac has bloomed.
present -> a day before the interview, 2024
it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.
the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.
a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was something home cooked. something from home.
the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.
your tastebuds long for cheongju.
“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”
you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stock up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”
“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”
“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”
“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”
your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”
“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”
you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.”
“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”
you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”
the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob dashes away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.
still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.
then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.
your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.
and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.
but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.
but he bites the inside of his cheek and his dimples appear.
it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with changmin. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?
you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.
your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”
“yeah, about that…”
“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”
at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”
“what? why?”
you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”
“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”
“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”
“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”
an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”
and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—
“y/n?”
and the plan failed.
when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.
all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”
a beat passes.
“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)
you and changmin were once painted with the hues of the sun. this reunion is tainted with blue.
changmin’s fingers tense up, almost as if he was hesitating—debating—on how to approach you. his body would waver, but he never took a step towards you. “i… i wasn’t expecting to meet you here.”
“same here.” you lean your back against the checkout counter. “d—do you stay around this part of the city?”
he shakes his head. “i live around 15, maybe 20, minutes away from here. i’m only here because…” your breath gets caught in your throat. “i don’t know.”
fate. that’s what brought us here.
“do you live here?”
you nod. “yeah, ever since—” the sentence never gets completed; you and him already know.
for a moment, sorrow flashes in his eyes, but a smile shows up. the dimples don’t appear. “i, uh, i was going to get something from here but it seems like your friend is busy.”
“sorry about jongseob.” you whip out your phone and scold him through text. “he should be with us in a bit.”
changmin hums before walking to the freezer filled with different ice cream. as he looks through the selection, he asks, “do you still like twin bar?”
“y—yeah.”
“still the grape flavor?” you don’t know what to say, but when his gaze meets yours, you settle for a nod. with your favorite ice cream in one hand and a sandwich in the other, he finally walks towards you. you don’t miss the slight stagger in his steps.
changmin finds his spot beside you. there’s still distance between you two—two tiles worth, enough space for one person—but it’s enough for your muscles to freeze. thankfully, jongseob comes just in time to manage the cashier (with an awkward smile plastered on).
he scans changmin’s item first before grabbing onto your ice cream.
“oh, i’m paying—”
“no, let me,” changmin insists. “you can always treat me another time.”
you bite the inside of your cheek, thinking over the second half of his sentence. jongseob holds back from scanning the item, until you shoot him a nod. changmin pays for the food before jongseob hands them to you.
“i’ll just let you know when the pizza gets here.” his small smile is enough for your shoulders to ease and a quiet exhale to leave. a small nod is all you give him.
you follow changmin outside to the tables in front of the mart. once he’s settled on a spot, you sit across from him. he tears away the plastic wrapping of his food while you play with the ends of yours.
while he swallows what you assume to be his dinner of the day, you’re left to swallow your own pride.
“i’ve seen your performances.” his chews halt. “you’re—” captivating. “you’ve improved a lot.”
with one gulp, a shy smile takes over his face. “i still have a long way to go.”
“you always say that, even back then.” a half bitten sandwich now rests on the wrapper. “but i admire your drive.” always have.
while a different version of changmin sits across you, the one you knew back in cheongju still lives. in the busy, unfamiliar expanse of seoul, meeting 10 years later, he’ll never be stranger. you could never treat him as such, even if you wanted to.
“there’s always room for improvement,” he says.
you hum along with his sentiment. “did you stick with early childhood education?” you’re met with his orbs that hold a thousand of emotions, some you can name as shock, confusion. a question hangs in the air—what did you deserve to know?
“sorry, i’m assuming you still went to college, which is totally fine if you did or didn’t, by the way. and it’s also okay if you didn’t stick to your major. i mean, you always talked about pursuing a performing arts degree before—”
“y/n,” he giggles, “you’re okay. i still went to college but i took media & communication.” your eyebrows shoot up at the revelation. “i thought it made sense to study something related to what i do, just the more technical and theoretical side of it, i guess. and the online classes were easy to squeeze into my schedule.” he lifts up the sandwich. “what about you?”
“uh, i ended up in the same course as well.” a hum of shock leaves changmin. “yeah,” you chuckle, “i managed to shift courses.”
“that’s amazing! i’m happy for you.”
you smile at him. “thanks. now, i’m just—” you should tell him what you do. what would be a better time to reveal that you ended up in the path he dreamed for you to be than now? “—figuring things out.”
with your vagueness, changmin only nods before munching away. if there’s anything about you that still remains, it’s that you shouldn’t be pushed to share something you didn’t want to talk about. he still knew that.
as he finishes his sandwich, you tear off the plastic wrapping of your ice cream. with the twin bar in your hands, you snap it into two before you hand him a piece. confusion paints his features, wide eyes glossing over the popsicle in your hand, but he takes it before you can say anything.
“thanks.”
you shake your head. “don’t even worry about it. it’s only tradition.”
silence settles between you two. as you eat away on your share of the twin bar, you look up to the sky. from where you sit, you can’t see a single star; the lights of seoul seemed to outshine them. and during those moments, you almost can’t help but miss the view of the starry night from your childhood room.
you glance at changmin who looks up to the sky as well. yet, one hand remains in his pocket, almost as if he’s fiddling with something.
as if he feels your eyes on him, he asks, “did you ever think about coming back?”
you halt your movements. if there’s one thing you were expecting your old friend to ask, it would be related to your sudden departure. but you’re hit with an entirely different question, one you didn’t get to rehearse the answer to in case you ever cross paths with him.
because after all this talk about your yearning for cheongju, why didn’t you choose to visit? despite how much you long mr. kim’s home cooked meals, skies filled with stars, or the presence of your best friend, why didn’t you ever come back?
if you miss home, why is your first instinct to run away from it?
and the reality is that you do think about it all the time. since you left cheongju, you drafted out how many plans to go back. you were homesick, missing the familiar landscape you spent your entire childhood growing up in. but most of all, you missed changmin. as long as you had him, you would survive anywhere, whether in seoul or cheongju.
despite how much you yearned for him during your years away, you learned that your relationship wasn’t always filled with the warmth that would grace you two every afternoon. for so long, you’ve sat with jealousy. while his family was his pillar of strength, you were met with a home that offered nothing but criticism.
the black limbs slowly ate away at your heart; the void was born.
it became easier to remain resentful. with the distance, you weren’t faced with changmin’s genuineness. yet, with time, you discovered that you still cared for him—regardless of your jealousy—because you still wanted more for him than you did for yourself.
for a long time, you resented. now, it’s only guilt that held you back from going back to him.
so when you remain silent, changmin takes it as your answer.
and for the first time, the distance feels greater since you first left cheongju.
summer of 2014
it’s the peak of summer. amidst the expanse of verdant fields, bees seek solace in the fully-bloomed sunflowers and kaleidoscope wings illuminate as they soar.
but summer is where mouths go dry and clothes cling to skin. as days blend with each other, the comfort of your bed is all you have until the season passes.
the fan rumbles against the wooden floor, doing its best to cool you, but the heat prickles against the back of your neck. the wind has turned into nothing but hot waves. with your elbows perched on the desk, a sigh leaves you as you attempt to make sense of the worksheet filled with math equations.
your room is your favorite place in cheongju. within these four walls are scattered fragments of you, from your favorite books and mangas that rest on the bookshelf to the stuffed toys that rest on your bed. book tabs stick out of your workbooks lined up on your desk and your cork board is filled with crossed out to-do lists.
and every once in a while, you would look out through your window, admiring the neighboring houses and all their greenery. as people walk on pavements, you cannot help but think about where they’re off to—are they on their way to work? did they leave an important document back home? or are they coming back to a meal and home filled with warmth?
despite the halo soundtrack filling your ears, the cogs in your brain seem to drown them out. the numbers on your paper have jumbled up. it should’ve been easy. after all, you’ve become friends with the letters who’ve squeezed their way into math. once you’ve wrapped up on this assignment, you know you’ll wake up to another set of work to do. it didn’t help that you’re stuck watching kids your age enjoy their break.
with a tired mind, you consider making yourself another cup of iced coffee. maybe another dose of caffeine will make sense of the numbers—
your phone buzzes against your table. as your eyes rip from the unfinished worksheet, you spot the familiar name flashing on the screen. with one glance at your door, you bring your headphones to rest around your neck. it takes three rings for you to answer.
“what do you want?”
“the fuck? what’s wrong with you?”
you roll your eyes as you fiddle with your pen. “i’m studying, you fucker.”
“on a sunday?” changmin’s question has you only groan. “what happened to resting?”
“i wish,” you murmur as you scratch the back of your head. “i’ve been stuck on this stupid worksheet for the past hours. it’s annoying too. i mean, i already know this topic, so i don’t know why it’s so hard.”
“awe, is my best friend suffering over kumon?”
your forehead rests on crossed arms. “yes. i think i’m going to die.”
“okay, then. i’ll take that as my sign.”
“sign to what?”
he chuckles as if it were obvious. “to save you! let’s go to mr. kim’s.”
a groan leaves you as your back meets the chair. “no, i can’t. do you know what would happen if i don’t finish my kumon?”
“uh… no?”
“me, neither. i’m not taking my chances.”
“but, you’re not even doing anything!” changmin pointing out the obvious has you rolling your eyes. “wouldn’t it be better to take a break with your best friend? i can even help out.”
as you bite the inside of your cheek, you glance once more at your closed door. you weigh it out; would you rather take a break with your best friend or would you save yourself from the consequences brought by home?
but the answer was already clear. “give me 10 minutes.”
changmin laughs before you drop the call.
it’s the smell of fresh hotteok that greets you. the quiet buzzing of the fan accompanied by mr. kim’s favorite trot music fills your ears. while the owner seems to be away from the cashier, a white, stray cat takes over, body flopped on the counter as it snores away the heat. as the sun pours through windows, coating every corner of the mart with a glow of fireflies, you know this will be a place of its own.
“y/n, over here!” a familiar voice calls out. as you whip your head to the source, you see your best friend by the chest freezer, eyes crinkled and all dimples.
now, you’re certain that nothing could ever replicate this.
you walk towards changmin, finding your spot beside him as you two look through the collection of frozen treats. “so, what do you want from here?” you ask.
“uh… i’ll be honest, i just realized i’m short on money.”
you glance through the price tags, only for a groan to leave you. “i’m short too. when did mr. kim raise the prices?”
“no clue. i thought i’d have enough to get a summer crush,” changmin complains as his eyes are glued to the coffee sorbet. “i hate inflation.”
“come on.” you fish out for the coins in your pocket. “let’s see how much we have together.” changmin does the same. with palms out, you two count through your shared funds.
“we can get a summer crush!”
“you can get one. i’ll be left with barely anything.” you look through the selection once more. “man, i really want samanco. the red bean sounds so good right now.”
defeat casts over changmin’s features. for a moment, you almost consider giving up on having a frozen treat and settling for a glass bottle of orange soda, until you spot a familiar popsicle brand.
“holy shit, it’s right there.”
“what?”
“there!” your finger points at the stack of twin bars. “we can probably get that and split it.”
changmin’s expression morphs into realization. “okay, let’s get—”
“dibs on grape.”
“dibs?” he furrows his eyebrows at you. “you can’t just call dibs. you’re doing it wrong. clearly, we should discuss—”
“nope,” you retort. a chuckle laced with disbelief leaves your best friend. to him, it seemed like you were joking around. “i made the suggestion and contributed a lot more to our shared funds.”
“okay, but—”
“don’t tell me you want the peach flavor more than the grape.” as you continue to shut him down, he knows there’s no way around you.
(plus, he wasn’t a fan of peach-flavored things, anyway. how unfortunate that mr. kim only has those two flavors right now.)
“next time, we’re choosing a flavor that i want,” he gives in. you let out a cheer before grabbing the frozen treat.
you two make your way back to the cashier and spot mr. kim slouched in front of the television, hand stroking the sleepy feline. he’s still wearing an old, red plaid apron on top of a pair of basketball shorts and a loose graphic tee which had the name of a band you’re unfamiliar with. with how he sits, you’re afraid that his back problems will get even worse. (still, you don’t say anything. he’ll only play it off and say he’s still one of the “youngins”... whatever that means.)
once his eyes land on you two, a grin takes over. “ah, my favorite kids! it’s nice to see you both.”
“yeah, it’s been a while,” changmin starts off. “y/n’s always busy with kumon.”
you narrow your eyes at the boy. “hey! you’re busy, too! you’ve been practicing at the studio almost every day!” the wrapped popsicle now rests on the counter. “every time i’m free, you’re not.”
“hey! whenever you’re free, i’m tired from training!”
“okay, let’s settle down,” mr. kim breaks up the banter. he then takes note of the ice cream on the cashier, the price showing up on the cashier. “isn’t the heat hard enough for you two to be studying or practicing?”
“yes, very much.” you count the coins once more before dropping the exact amount on the counter. “but,” you glance at changmin and his disheartened expression is enough for mountains to move, “i don’t think we have a choice.”
in reality, these were the circumstances you two had to work and live with. during the days changmin ended practice early, you were drowning in summer school assessments. whenever you managed to finish your homework, it would be during the hours your best friend was off at the studio or passed out at home from exhaustion.
“choice, no choice, people always say that.” mr. kim counts your payment before putting it into the cashier. as he takes note of what you’ve bought, he says, “everyone has a choice. i’m sure you two can figure it out.”
the only difference is that one chose this path; the other had to suffer from the decision forced onto them.
“don’t worry, mr. kim,” changmin nudges your shoulder. “i’m sure we’ll figure it out.” and when the dips in his cheeks appear, you find yourself smiling back.
maybe you were okay with the life you had to live, just maybe.
“anyway, we’ll go ahead,” changmin bids farewell to mr. kim.
you giggle. “he means we’re just going to eat our ice cream at the front.”
as you two slowly make your way out of the mart, mr. kim shakes his head. “you lovebirds go ahead. i’ll see you next time!”
“mr. kim!” you and changmin shout in unison before glancing at each other.
“what?!”
your best friend groans. “you know we aren’t together.”
“yeah! like, i can’t imagine it,” you join in.
still, the owner laughs at your reactions. “you two are so funny. just go and enjoy your ice cream.”
you roll your eyes at his words. “bye, mr. kim!”
with that, you and changmin were out of the mart and took a seat on the benches. you hand your best friend the wrapped frozen treat before letting out a sigh. “i still can’t believe this is one of the few times we got to meet up during the break.”
“i know.” he tears the plastic wrapping off. “you would think that summer break would mean we get to hang out nonstop, but i’m starting to think we saw each other more whenever we had school.”
you hum. “i know. and i had ap stat while you had training.” your eyes dart at changmin who grips onto the popsicle sticks, struggling to split it into two. “oh my god, don’t tell me you can’t split it.”
“hey! it’s hard.”
as you giggle, you reach your hand out. “let me do it.” once changmin hands you the twin bar, you attempt to split the two. for a moment, you almost think about agreeing with him. yet, the frozen treat splits into two perfectly, and a satisfied smile rests on your lips.
you hand him one popsicle, only to be met with his glare. “i know, i’m just better.”
“just shut up.” to that, another laugh leaves you.
under the sun, you enjoy the coolness of the twin bar. while you would’ve stared off to nowhere, you and changmin were here at the right time to catch civilians bustling away. some were on dates, where one would go on about their interest while the other would smile at their rambling. there were kids whose chatter could be heard all the way from the end of the block, and blue-collar men who were off to enjoy their break.
you can’t help but imagine what people saw—thought—of you and changmin. did they think of you as unexpected friends? has it ever crossed their minds that you two were only classmates who seemed to always be paired together? or did they ever think the same as mr. kim?
“you know,” changmin starts off, causing you to look at him, “i was going through college courses the other day.”
your eyebrows shoot up. “oh?”
with your reaction, changmin giggles. “i was just curious, you know? not that i’m giving up on dance or anything, but,” he licks the popsicle, “early childhood education sounds cool.”
you hum. “i wasn’t expecting that.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
“no, it’s not a bad thing!” you reassure the boy. “it’s just,” you rip your gaze off of changmin and look at the playground, “i always thought of you as a dancer, you know? kind of like you were meant for the stage.” the laughter of the kids who passed by you two bounces all over the block and you can’t help but smile. “but i don’t doubt it.”
the breeze graces your sweat-covered skin. “what about you?” you look back at him. “would you ever consider journalism? maybe communication as your major?”
you’re quick to laugh at his suggestion, but when confusion paints his features, you realize it’s a serious question from him.
“no.” it’s a straightforward answer from you, but changmin could never settle with that
“why not?”
a sigh leaves you. “i just don’t consider it. i mean, i think about it,” all the time, “but not enough to consider it. plus, astrophysics is cool.”
“but is it your dream?”
changmin’s question is an easy one to answer—not at all. you’ve had enough learning about theories and making sense of the numbers. if your future is going to only complicate that further, then maybe astrophysics isn’t made for you.
but who’s to say that you’ll even enjoy journalism?
“we’ll see.” you leave it at that and changmin didn’t push for more.
because the reality is that if you ever did consider it, transform those dreams into action plans, you were terrified to be met with your parents’ disappointment—it wouldn’t only be from your lousy desires but from changmin’s role in your life.
the first time you mentioned changmin to your parents happened over dinner, letting them know you would be staying later at school to work on the final project for art class with him. they didn’t bat an eye at his name as they continued to talk about what happened during work and pester you about your progress in other classes. (art class didn’t matter to them, only the sciences and math were ones they seemed to track. still, they would criticize you if you didn’t place first honors.)
with your parents’ oversight, something blossomed between you and changmin. from there, there were more days you would get home later than usual. while you were still on top of your work, they took your late arrivals as a form of negligence.
all it took was one night for them to demand an explanation. the reappearance of him in the conversation had only caused them to reprimand you—changmin’s not like you. he’ll only hold you back.
from that day on, you’ve learned to keep his name out of conversations. you’ll enjoy what you have with changmin, even if it has to be kept under the wraps.
“how’s training?” you change the subject, trying to keep the attention off of your failed dreams to changmin’s flourishing ones.
“well, it’s a lot,” he chuckles as he munches a piece. “you already know that it takes how many hours to get to the company, and the hours i spend in the practice room are unlike the trainings i have at school.”
as his eyes meet yours, you only shoot him an apologetic smile. it was never going to be easy; you two knew that before changmin entered the doors of the company. yet, he still held on.
“you know, i never considered it before, but i like where i’m going,” he admits. “even if i’ve always had dreams to pursue dance, i want to make my family proud if i ever get to debut.”
changmin knows how to persevere. regardless of all the bruises he gets from performing complex dance routines or the hours of sleep he longs for, he knows how to hold on. you wish you could say the same for yourself.
“and you will,” you reassure the boy, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. “who wouldn’t be proud of you?”
he holds your stare and your smile falters. for a moment, you don’t know if you touched on a sensitive topic. would he shrug your arm off? do you think he’ll shut you off, maybe cut your time together short? will changmin get mad at you for something you didn’t know was wrong? would he be just like them?
“i want to make you proud.”
that’s enough to answer it all.
you shake your head. “don’t even doubt that for a second.” your arm finds it spot back to your side, and changmin’s loops his with yours.
although he knows how to persevere, he never knows when to shut his ears from the shadows.
“i am proud of you,” you tell him. “always have, always will.” he can’t help but smile. all you can hope is that he’ll listen closely to your voice.
“i almost forgot,” he says out of nowhere.
“forgot what?”
as he tugs his arm away, his hand fishes for something in his pocket. “close your eyes.” you furrow your eyebrows. “just do it!” you follow his orders. “and keep them closed, okay?” you let out a hum.
before you know it, something wraps around your index finger. you would’ve opened your eyes, confused over the foreign yet familiar material, but they remain shut.
“okay, open.”
your gaze rests on your finger wrapped in yellow and blue. it’s a finger trap—and the other end is connected to changmin. despite your tug, it still holds you two together.
it’s the warmth that fills your cheeks, the heartbeat in your ears, and your starstruck eyes that has him smile. “no matter what happens, we’ll stick together, okay? regardless of what paths we end up pursuing. all that matters is that we have each other.”
he’s filled with hope. hope for his dreams. hope for your relationship. hope for what the future holds for you two. you can’t help but hope as well.
all it takes is a nod from you to solidify the promise to the universe.
you two sit in silence, finishing up the popsicles as people continue to pass by. at one point, you heard mr. kim let out a curse over the drama he’s watching. the sun is about to set, wrapping you two in a golden blanket, and all that matters is the finger trap.
present -> two weeks before the interview, 2024
it’s no surprise to you that the newsroom is quiet. while your peers are off to gather more information, you’re with lee chaeyeon of news as she tries to meet the deadline for her article’s first close.
“do you think dokyeom will be late?” you ask as you watch her rephrase sentences.
she laughs. “when is he never? minho’s always assigning him coverages.”
“that’s true.” your eyes drift to the hallway. “i’m just hungry. he still owes me food, you know?”
“over another bet? or you saving his ass?”
“over helping him with an article,” you reveal, earning a shocked look from her. “for some odd reason, he needed another writer to help out with a live coverage, and all the sports writers and sports editor were busy handling the other events.”
“holy shit.” chaeyeon continues with her work. “i didn’t expect you to work on anything sports-related.”
“yeah, but it helped that it was a dance competition. at least i know something about dance.” you only know who to thank. “i’m going to make sure i get compensated for that. i’m planning to raise it to minho and namjoon, anyway. that’s if dokyeom would fucking come and help in explaining the situation.”
with the mention of the tardy writer’s name, he’s scrambling through the halls with his backpack in one hand and a paper bag in the other. the moment he sees you, he shoots you an apologetic smile.
“speak of the devil,” you say as you stand up straight. “why do you always show up late? i helped you with the article.”
dokyeom finds his spot beside you as he sets down the bag on your desk. “i’ll have you know that wasn’t the only article i had yesterday. i was catching up on other ones that minho assigned me.” before he can plop down on his seat, he spots chaeyeon working. “damn, tough life at news.”
“no need to point out the obvious, doofus.”
“wow, harsh,” he replies to her insult. “just so you know, i bought food for us.”
“thank god,” you exclaim as you open the paper bag filled with takeout containers and sealed cups. as you pull them out one by one, you spot your usual order from the vietnamese restaurant around the corner. “oh my god, thank you for getting me this.” you take a seat before you pass dokyeom his food and utensils.
“yeah, i know. i’m just the best.” his shower of compliments for himself only has you rolling your eyes. “but thank you, by the way, for helping me out with the article. i needed an extra pair of hands and my own editor couldn’t stand in to help out.”
“it’s fine. just make sure you help me get compensated for that article,” you say before you open the container. as the smell of bun bo nam bo fills your nose, you can’t help but let out a quiet moan. “holy fuck, i’ve been craving this.”
“i made sure to get you some vietnamese coffee also.”
“yeah, i saw. thank you.” you split the chopsticks with one hand. you’re about to mix the bowl of your favorite food—
“is y/n here?” your editor calls out, causing you to let out a sigh before you stand up from your seat.
“yes?”
namjoon’s gaze lands on you. “can i talk to you for a bit?”
despite your grumbling stomach, you give him a nod and set your food down. as he retreats to his office, you glare at dokyeom who munches away on goi cuon. “i hate you.”
“hey, what did i do?!” you ignore his attempts to defend himself as you make your way to your editor’s office.
once you swing the door open, you spot namjoon whose eyes are stuck to the screen. “you can take a seat,” he says with no attempt to look at you. you sit across from him, hands folded on your lap, while he types away on his keyboard.
the moment he hits the ‘enter’ key is when he finally looks at you. “sorry about that. i was just replying to minho regarding your compensation for the article you worked with dokyeom. we both appreciate what you did. next time though, make sure to loop in minho or me before you two start working on beats not within your staffs.”
“sorry about that,” you start off. “dokyeom only asked for my help and i thought it would be fine since i’m familiar with dance, anyway.”
namjoon shakes his head with a small smile plastered on his face. “it is fine, just make sure to inform us.” you only nod.
“anyway, i’m sorry to have this meeting with you right now but i have to leave work early today, and i thought that you’d appreciate that i tell this to you now instead of tomorrow,” he says. you hum, curious about what he has to say. “i have a coverage for you, a very, very, long one.”
over the sight of your wide eyes, he can’t help but chuckle. “it’s 12 articles,” he says and your mouth gapes over the number. “well, one main article and 11 profiles with very brief introductory paragraphs.” his attempt to ease your shocked state does nothing.
“namjoon, that’s… a lot.”
“yes, i know. i would love to split the workload but everyone else is handling other articles, and i trust you. i know i’m asking for a lot but i’ll make sure to help you out with them. it’s just that we’re working on a time crunch and i don’t know anyone else i can ask but you.”
the faith that your editor seems to have in you is like no other.
“profiles, like, those q&a transcripts?” you ask.
he nods before saying, “yes, and just a brief introductory paragraph for each profile. i’m just expecting you to put more work into the article about the group. i’ll make sure to help out with the profiles.”
namjoon’s trust should be anxiety inducing, enough to send you complaining, but you find yourself relieved. your mentor became your second-in-command; the mountain of workload transformed into a hill.
“okay.”
a relaxed smile appears on his face at your acceptance. “thank god! i was going to stress about this the whole day if you refused. i’ll make sure to send you the details about this once i’m done with my appointments, and then we can see how we’ll divide the work later on.” he types something. “we’re covering a k-pop group which is why there’s one main article about the whole group and then 11 profiles.”
“yeah, i figured that out.” this isn’t anything out of your usual articles. “can i ask who we’re interviewing? maybe i can do some research on them while you attend your meetings.” you pull out your phone, ready to search up whoever your editor says.
“don’t know if you’re familiar with them but they’re called the boyz?” you still in your seat. “wait, let me check. yes, that’s their name.”
“the boyz?”
namjoon looks at you, now met with your features that have transformed from wide eyes to scrunched eyebrows. “yeah. do you know them?”
you shake your head without a second thought. “no, i don’t think i do,” you whisper the last sentence to yourself. his narrow eyes look over you, almost dissecting you.
the walls surrounding you are painted in solid colors of pearl, almost untouched. yet, under the paint are cracks that spread like cobwebs. every burst is a testament to the earthquakes they’ve faced; no one should be able to see a single line of black amid the white sea. now, they’re filled with paste, and it should be enough to cover them all.
but for the first time, the paint has chipped and the paste has deteriorated; the different colors of cheongju seep through the cracks.
you clear your throat as you straighten your back. “i’ll be sure to research them.” you wave your phone at him, hoping to divert his attention, but his gaze remains on you.
a sigh leaves him. “okay. expect to receive the documents later in the afternoon.”
he doesn’t push any further. for now, the walls remain intact. (or appear as so.)
it was never going to be easy.
“honestly, i gave up expecting to win as we practiced,” the youngest says through tears. as they huddle, they let out silent wishes for the upcoming years. before they blow the candle, they don’t forget to express their gratitude to the fandom who stuck with them through thick and thin.
a time of celebration turned into a moment to remember their struggles. these were pockets of their time that marked their spot in history.
“oh, everyone behind us is crying!” another member points out as the camera captures the team’s bittersweet cries.
and when you catch sight of the orange-haired boy who hides his tears behind his friend, the ache in your chest starts to spread through your veins. the video cuts to his low-hanging head as his members comfort him. they knew all of his hardships—you only know a fraction.
such a tender moment happened five years ago; it’s the same amount of time between this achievement and your departure. within those years, what did changmin undergo? did his trainings waver his passion or did the fire burn just as bright as it did since he first auditioned? was he confident in his skills or was he still critical about every performance he had?
but most of all, what did he face? what did he learn? to hate? to love?
what did he go through without you?
you don’t forget to take note of their first win on your document filled with bullet points of information. while you were going to continue watching, a recommended video caught your attention. it’s a changmin focus. you don’t hesitate to click it.
the video starts off with him checking up on the fans before the performance starts. as he mimes out eating, they answer his question with reassurance.
and there they come—his dimples appear.
it transitions to their group in their opening formation. as they await for the song to play out, changmin’s familiar smile shifts into a dominant gaze.
in the same way the first notes draw people to listen, your eyes never leave the boy. his movements are fluid, like water droplets sliding off leaves. he commands the stage regardless of where he’s positioned.
changmin is meant to be on the stage—no, every stage is made for him. every crowd is meant to cheer his name and remain captive to his talents, and every spotlight is meant to shine on him.
you rest your chin on crossed arms. long gone was the bowl cut and loose school uniform. he’s grown. matured, even. yet, the moments where his smile appears makes you realize one thing: the 16-year-old boy you knew still lives within him.
as their performance comes to an end, you don’t bother to move your cursor, letting the next recommended video play. and when his vlog plays out, you realize that a fragment of his identity is a whole of what you know.
what an honor it is to have known him for even a fraction of your lifetime.
his voice is a lullaby, the same one you used to fall asleep to, so you allow yourself to close your eyes. you let go of the responsibilities for just this moment, and allow yourself to be transported back into the warmth of his arms.
fall of 2014
out of all the seasons, autumn took its spot in being your favorite. clusters of green slowly morph into shades of oranges and browns. it’s a symphony of chirps that fills the silence. while the breeze brings you comfort after the heat of summer, it also reminds you of the looming winter.
it’s a shame that autumn does live up to its other name: a season of fall.
“you’re always like this,” your mother comments. you stand in front of your parents, slumped shoulders and downcast eyes, as they hold a sheet of paper they believe dictates your future. “always so sensitive. we’re just asking you what went different. why did your grades drop?” to them, a shift from a to b+ is a threat to your future.
while your feet stand on wooden floors, a flood starts to form. murky waves crash against your legs, but you do your best to keep your balance.
“answer us when you’re being talked to.” your father snaps you out of your thoughts. “what have you been doing for your grades to drop?” you want to answer but a single sound that leaves you may only lead to blubbers that your parents will scold you for.
with your silence, your mother sneers. “i knew we shouldn’t have let you do your own things. i told you so.” she shifts her gaze to him. “what did i tell you about y/n? you know they’ll only slack off!”
“i thought we could trust them. clearly, i was wrong.” your father’s glare raises the water levels, reaching your chest. you don’t know how to swim in the foggy ocean.
“i know why.” she crosses her arms. “it’s because of that changmin boy, isn’t it?” she says his name laced with disgust.
you don’t think twice to defend him. “no, it isn’t!”
“don’t you dare talk back at me!”
“but i’m not! he’s done nothing.”
your father begins to raise his voice. “and that’s what’s wrong! that lazy boy does nothing for his studies. he clearly doesn’t care about his future.”
you always knew it would be a losing battle, but you’ll put up the fight to protect your best friend’s name. “that’s not true! he does care. he’s planning to do early childhood education for college, maybe become a teacher.”
“that job has no money. see, i can already see that you’re being influenced by him,” he argues back.
and as the murky waters rise, filling your lungs, your first instinct is to close your eyes and scream. “stop saying that about him!”
a beat passes.
“i don’t want you hanging out with him.”
“but—”
“shut up.” your mother’s words cause you to look up, meeting your parents’ faces filled with anger. “go to your room. now.” you’re nothing but a puppet for them.
was it even a battle if you always knew you were going to lose?
despite the safety of your room, you don’t let the tears flow down. you do anything to distract yourself; maybe a book will convince you that your life is only a figment of your imagination.
waves continue to crash against your body. if you let them take your body, would they send you far away from cheongju? from your parents? from the weight you were entrusted to carry since birth?
but would you allow the waves to send you away from changmin?
your phone buzzes against the mattress. with tear-filled eyes, you see your best friend trying to reach you. you don’t think twice about declining his call and shutting off your phone.
as you curl in your bed, you hope the sea will swallow you whole—the slow, burning pain that comes with drowning won’t compare to the burns that haven’t healed. but you know that the blame rests on your shoulders. if only you had studied harder, cut off hours of rest for your work, then maybe you would be the perfect child your parents wanted.
were you wrong for allowing yourself to enjoy the small breaks between classes? was the time spent in the mart supposed to be for schoolwork? should you have found yourself a tutor? were you in the wrong for not working yourself to the bone? did you not work enough?
are you not enough?
then, a knock. your eyes snap open. like a stroke of light in the middle of the dark, changmin is by your window.
you get off your bed to open the window. as the glass barrier disappears, he enters your room. “are you okay?” he spots your glassy eyes and his hands find their spot on your shoulders. “what happened?”
you break eye contact. “what do you want, changmin?”
“you didn’t pick up your phone. and when i tried calling again, i couldn’t reach you,” he starts to explain.
you shrug off his grip on you before you take a seat on your bed. “i’m fine. my phone died.” as you feel the spot beside you dip, you look at your best friend. at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows, you know he doesn’t believe you. “i said i’m fine.”
“i didn’t say anything.” for you are an open book to him.
he opens his arms towards you—it’s your move to make. then, a tight-lipped smile shows on his face, his dimples appear, and you allow yourself to fall. with his arms wrapped around you, you shut your eyes as you nestle your face into his neck.
breathe in. breathe out.
his hand finds its spot on your back, rubbing it in circles.
breathe in. breathe out.
“it’s okay, i’m here,” he says, and you allow yourself to crumble in front of him for the first time.
the tears hit changmin’s neck like a light drizzle. your wails bring earthquakes into his world.
yet, his warmth is enough to dry up droplets, and his embrace protects you as you fall into the cracks of the earth and into the depths of the world. the flood starts to subside.
in your time knowing changmin, how much did he know about you after all? had he always known of your strained relationship with your parents? did he hear about it from others or was he able to connect the dots?
because you didn’t know yourself outside of your parents anymore. did you like science because of your kumon classes? was your interest in writing birthed from a desire for validation from your parents?
are you nothing but an array of achievements and failures?
but your parents will never be satisfied; a standard too high is practically nonexistent.
changmin moves so that you two can lie down. his arms remain wrapped around you as you hide in his neck. “i’m sorry if i wasn’t there for you when you needed it then.” his whispered apology causes you to shake your head.
“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you blubber out to his neck.
“and you didn’t, as well.” his hand finds its spot behind your head. with every stroke, a tear streams down. “and i want you to know that i’ll be here for you.”
in your house, your room was the only space you called home. solace built by you.
now, your home is changmin.
present -> two weeks before the interview, 2024
something about the newsroom feels odd to you. there’s nothing out of the ordinary aside from it bustling with journalists. the familiar sounds of printers and chatter from your workmates fill your ears. it’s a typical occurrence for your peers to meet their deadlines on the day itself. the tug in your gut doesn’t resemble ones formed out of your anxiety. why does it feel like one of destiny?
“where is dokyeom? i swear, this guy never shows up to the office.”
you snap out of your thoughts, looking over at chaeyeon who browses through her phone. as you shove a bill into the vending machine, a chuckle leaves you. “when is he never?”
“maybe if he finishes his coverages on time then he’d be getting enough sleep. then, he won’t be late.”
you side-eye your friend before you click on a button. “you know that’s not true.”
she sighs at the same time your bottle of iced tea drops. “yeah. apparently, if you have free time, you’re not a good journalist or some shit which i find stupid.” you grab your drink before facing her. “am i not allowed to do something else that’s not related to my job? i swear, this is why i’m single.”
“then date another journalist.” your joke earns a scowl from her.
“i’m never dating anyone in my field. a journalist dating another journalist is like,” she looks up to the ceiling as she thinks, “a long distance relationship with how much they’ll never see or have time for each other.”
a laugh erupts from you, one that may be too loud for your liking. “true.”
as you walk out of the breakroom with chaeyeon, you notice something in the corner of your eye: a brunette by the restroom. while you can’t see his face, you spot what’s in his hand and you halt in your tracks—a finger trap.
“hey, is there someone there?” your eyes snap back to your friend who looks at you in confusion. when your eyes drift back to where the brunette once was, he’s already gone. you shake your head before walking back to your desk.
the same gut feeling lingers. with a frown, you open up your article only to be met with a few comments that namjoon left last night. maybe your gut knew that you weren’t done with your work. thankfully, it’s nothing too major, and you can have them done within the next few minutes.
“there you are!” chaeyeon exclaims, causing you to look up from your screen to a panting dokyeom. “were you working on your articles again?”
“actually, i went out last night.” while you shake your head at dokyeom’s reveal, chaeyeon gasps. “yeah, i did! i actually had fun for once!”
as he nods proudly at last night’s events, she complains, “are you serious?! how come you have time to go out? i was just talking to y/n that we never have time to ourselves.”
“i’m in sports,” he points out as he shrugs his shoulders. “you’re in news.” at this point, you’re expecting the two to spiral into an argument, so you redirect your focus back to your article.
“hey, did you hear though? there’s a k-pop group in the building.” you glance at chaeyeon.
your other friend leans on the cubicle. “really? who?”
“no clue.”
dokyeom lets out a groan. “what type of journalist are you if you can’t find out?”
“yah!” chaeyeon smacks his arm, causing him to wince in pain. “says you who can never submit on time.”
“hey, i’ll have you know that minho has been understanding!”
“whatever.” she rolls her eyes before looking at you. “that means you’ll probably be handling them. i hope they’re cute so that you can finally have something going on with your life outside of work.”
a chuckle leaves you as you get back to work. “i’m never dating an idol. i’d get hunted down by their fans.”
“yeah, but can’t you dream a little? do you ever imagine what it would be like?”
the past plays in your mind. after school performances and interviews. broken-up popsicles. finger traps. a life you shared with changmin then—one you still cling onto.
yet, you shake your head as you edit your article. “not even.”
it’s a life you’ll keep to yourself.
“what’s the update?”
the three of you look away from each other, spotting namjoon who comes to you with a smile. long gone were the sweaters that failed to drown out his figure and the boxy glasses that would rest on the bridge of his nose. now, he wears a dress shirt and trousers with hair slicked to the side. there were no frames for him to hide behind.
“ah, namjoon! you’re dressed so nice today.”
with dokyeom’s compliment, he can’t hold back on his smile. “thank you. are you guys done with your articles?”
as your friends nod, you add the finishing touches to the document. “and done! i just finished addressing your comments.”
“great. thanks, y/n.”
“do you have something?” chaeyeon asks your editor, causing you to roll your eyes. one thing about journalists is that they love to know everything.
namjoon nods before saying, “i just had a meeting with some possible interviewees.”
“is this the one with the k-pop group?” as dokyeom asks the question, you can’t help but laugh as chaeyeon looks at him in disbelief for spilling confidential information.
your editor chuckles. “yes.”
“can we know—”
“no, you can’t know.”
chaeyeon pouts at namjoon. “not even a hint?”
namjoon ignores her question and begins to walk off. “good work, y/n!” he calls out before leaving you three alone.
“man, namjoon never tells us shit,” chaeyeon complains as she leans on the table.
“to you guys, at least,” you argue with a small shrug.
still, the gut feeling remains.
something about the newsroom feels odd to changmin. while he’s had his fair share of paranormal experiences, his gut tells him that there’s something in the office. yet, the tug isn’t one that speaks of danger. why does it feel like one of destiny?
“should we have a short break before we discuss the schedules for the photoshoots and interviews?” changmin is snapped out of his thoughts by namjoon’s suggestion.
his manager looks at the group. “do you guys need a break?”
sangyeon shoots namjoon a smile before looking at his members. “you guys can use the washroom if you need to.”
although everyone seemed fine with proceeding, changmin couldn’t shake off the feeling. maybe the leftover curry he had this morning went bad. “i’ll go,” he says as he gets off his seat.
namjoon slowly stands up. “okay, i can bring you there—”
“it’s okay! i saw the washroom on the way here,” changmin says before walking to the door. “you can discuss the details without me. i’m sure you guys will manage.”
with sangyeon’s and his manager’s nods, namjoon settles back into his seat. “okay then, here are some of the dates i have in mind...”
changmin exits the room. he bites on the inside of the cheek as he thinks of what his gut could be telling him. is it the nerves for the upcoming tour? is he worried about the next comeback they’ve been preparing? or is he scared about what the future has in store for his group?
with his mind on these questions, he doesn’t realize that he arrives in front of the bathroom door. a sigh of frustration leaves him. the worst thing about gut feelings is never knowing what they’re trying to say.
he grips the handle, ready to swing the door open, until a familiar laugh hits his ears. one of the past. one he hasn’t heard in years. his muscles freeze.
when was the last time he heard that chortle? when was the last time he became the cause of it?
his eyes dart around the area for the source but no one else is here. he can’t help but shake his head in disbelief.
it should be stupid for him to think you two would ever reunite. in what world would you be in the same place as he is? it’s been 10 years. you could be anywhere around the world. yet, he fishes for something out of his pocket; the same finger trap he linked you to him rests on the palm of his hand.
he sighs before entering the washroom and shoving it back into his pocket.
maybe he’ll hold out a little longer.
winter of 2014
out of all the seasons, changmin’s favorite is winter. snowflakes fall, filling the sky with stars that people can touch, and snow piles on sidewalks, letting him throw snowballs at his friends. despite the freezing temperatures, changmin prefers this over nearly-boiling ones.
he can’t wait to share this season with you.
yet, the familiar, chilly breeze of the season transforms into whispers, and word gets around like thrown snowballs.
“is y/n really not going to school anymore?” changmin looks up from his desk to see cheng xiao standing in front of him. he tilts his head in confusion, causing her to roll her eyes. “are they not going here anymore?”
he frowns. “huh? what kind of rumor is that?”
“i don’t know. it’s what people have been saying,” she says as she crosses her arms. “i asked because i wanted to know if my competition’s gone, you know? and you’re the only one here who has an idea about their whereabouts.”
changmin laughs in disbelief. “no, i was with them last week.”
when changmin last saw you, you asked for space. with what’s been happening with your family, you needed time to process and cope with your issues, and he respected that. after all, he only knew a fraction of your relationship with your parents, and he didn’t want to intrude in anything you didn’t want him to be a part of. still, changmin reminded you that he’ll be there if you need him.
“damn, that sucks,” cheng xiao groans as her shoulders slump. “these stupid rumors.” as soon as she leaves changmin alone, he shakes his head.
the bell rings. students start rushing into classrooms and teachers scold those who aren’t on their seats. ms. jeon enters the room, walking to the desk in front and setting her things down. “cheng xiao, you’ll be in charge of attendance today.”
as changmin’s classmate gets off her seat, he can’t help but look at your desk that still remains empty.
“you have to message us when you land,” your mother says as she fixes the collar of your coat. despite your nod, she clicks her tongue. “answer me properly.”
“yes, i will.”
once your father finishes placing the last luggage in the trunk of the taxi, he stands beside your mother. “don’t forget why we’re sending you there. we expect you to do better with no distractions.”
your phone buzzes in your hand. as you look down, you see a message from changmin. as he asks about your whereabouts, the weight gets heavier—will you stand or crumble under it?
“who’s that?”
you stash your phone away as you look back at your parents. “nothing. it’s just an email from the school. they sent over the date for the orientation.” at the sight of their satisfied smile, you let out a small sigh of relief.
“well, go on.” your nod at your mother before getting in the car. with the windows still down, she adds, “don’t forget to get endorsement letters from the professors i sent over to you or else you won’t get to study abroad like we planned.” her choice of pronouns is funny; a plan that they crafted which never considered your input.
“okay.”
as your father commands the driver to go, your gaze remains on the two. it should be okay with you to leave cheongju; you’d be far away from your parents and experience an entirely different landscape to explore. it’s time you break away from the chains of this town. learn a life outside of what your parents forced you into.
yet, as the car takes its leave, the figure of your parents slowly shrinks. the distance from them should’ve given you the space to breathe, a relief you’ve longed for, but it only reminds you of your strained relationship. to them, it would be better that you’re out of their sight—and with your farewell, you never heard the three-word phrase.
the window rolls up. you try to hold back the tears, but the scenery of cheongju that you pass by births a storm within you. you didn’t want to say goodbye to home, regardless of how much you say you didn’t have a home in this town. every corner holds a piece of you in the same way you hold a piece of them.
the car approaches a safe haven you share. despite the snow that piles at the front, mr. kim’s convenience store is still open. you’ll never get to have his hotteok again or hear his favorite dramas play in the background. worst of all, you never got to say goodbye.
then, the familiar figure of your best friend exits the mart, and the storm transforms into a typhoon. the plastic bag he holds is filled with your favorite snacks, from the grape-flavored twin bar to a bottle of mr. kim’s homemade peach iced tea.
and in that moment that your car passes him, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, and you spot the familiar trap wrapped around his finger—the other end holds no one.
as quickly as you came into changmin’s life, he disappears from your view.
finger traps were fascinating. if you tug hard, the contraption won’t let your fingers go. yet, if you allow the two fingers to meet, allowing the toy to loosen, it’ll let you go with no harm.
but your finger trap with changmin was different. maybe it was already ripped to its seams.
interview
q: what made you decide on becoming an idol?
a: i’ve always loved dancing. growing up in cheongju, i always made time [for dance] whether it be [for] school competitions, talent shows, or even [choreographies] i wanted to try out. but i never considered becoming [an idol] until high school. a lot of my friends and family thought i was capable, and i’m glad they trusted me. it feels good to give back to them with every performance.
q: as the first trainee meant to debut in the boyz, you’ve spent more time training compared to your other members. what kept you going throughout your years of training?
a: my family’s support was one big thing that helped me [during my training.] every trip from my house to the company would last hours, and it drained me physically. so as the years went by, i started to question if all the time, money, [and] effort i was putting into an unpromised debut would be worth it, but my parents and sisters were always there to support and [take] care of me. but i’d also like to think my best friend was a major support in training years. i think they were the first one to [tell me that they saw me as an idol,] and at the time i brushed off the idea. but, look where i am now? so i think i owe a lot to them.
q: is there anything you’d like to say to those who’ve supported you as the boyz’s q?
a: mom and dad, thank you for believing in me. i know it wasn’t easy to wait until midnight for me to come home or take care of me whenever i got sick from training. thank you for always supporting me in every performance. to my sisters, thank you for helping mom and dad out at home. every day, i remind myself that you gave up so much just so i can pursue my dreams, and i want you know that i’m forever grateful for your sacrifices. to the rest of [the boyz], thank you for always allowing me to rely on you. i’m glad i can say i have brothers who i get to achieve my dreams with. deobi, thank you for your love and support over the years. i wouldn’t be the boyz’s q or ji changmin if it weren’t for you. and lastly, thank you to my best friend. i hope you’ll always be proud of me the same way i’ll forever be proud of you.
tag list: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs @dearly-somber
#ji changmin x reader#the boyz fic recs#im jumping off a cliff in t-minus two hours whoever wants to join may do so#pls read if u want something so heart wrenchingly beautiful
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Just hit 100 works on ao3 😭 that’s not including the stuff I deleted or left on Wattpad. I’m literally insane
#ao3#I don’t go on their often but I want my fics archived#I used to delete my shitty fics when I was in middle school and only read/posted on Wattpad#I regret that now cus I wanna look back and see how far I’ve come#I used to use photos instead of describing 😭 I was so goofy#and I wanna thank all my readers!#ik kudos and likes and notes shouldn’t be your drive (and they aren’t fully for me) but it definitely helps and gives me motivation#not to mention the kind comments#those make it feel like it was worth posting…that im making other peoples days as well#even on my fics that only get 10 likes it might dishearten me a bit but then I think that hey. at least those 10 people got a fic
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I’m requesting yet again for yall not to leave me comments, I don’t need them and I don’t even necessarily want them. Especially if you’re going to question me and I don’t know you. I don’t care to defend myself. I hate conversing through comments, yeah I know it’s a thing but I don’t like it. I prefer messaging on tumblr or even an ask.
My reputation as a Shinichi hater is alive and well. Good, cause it’s true and I won’t deny it. I’ve been trying to escape this ship for years now and I still haven’t. I’ve said a million times I’m just here for Shiho, give me a better option and I’ll jump ships in a heartbeat! I just can’t get over how cruel he was to her, and how he tried to get into her good graces by pretending to be nice. Plus the canon ship propaganda is so tiring. Sure recently we’ve gotten some stellar moments and I try to focus on that, but I just think my queen deserves better. She deserves someone who can and will love her loudly without making her feel like they settled. Yes his actions speak louder than his words and it’s clear he cares about her, but then I get stupid shit about the canon ship and I’m just like really? This again? Give me a reason to root for them! Or at the very least let my queen live and let her move on. I could care less about him. Everyone fucking loves him already, where’s the love for my queen? I swear most fics go on about how perfect he is and how she’s the problem and how much she needs him, miss me with that bs. I get that in canon, and I’m so over it.
Now excuse me while I continue to write CoAi fics that end happily
Update: while I’m here ranting on my blog. I truly don’t understand why we continue to romanticize the idea of him being an idiot and expecting them to be closer when he didn’t fucking ask or make things clear. The amount of times I’ve heard my irl peeps complain about not knowing where they stand with someone cause it was never clarified is annoying. I don’t want that in fiction too even if I do prefer things to be realistic! Either let my queen make a move and be like this is what I want with you or have him say the actual words to get them together! What’s with all this not knowing and not being on the same page even though you’re supposed to know each other best??? Idk man. I just find it ooc for her to be open with her feelings so I think he has to be the one to spell it out. But then I read this fic and I’m like it’s well written sure but why is it my queen’s fault that she thinks they would be better off apart? That’s very in character to me. And yes him having a problem with it also makes sense, but then to have him go around and play the victim and be like why don’t you understand me???? Like what???? Boy you fucking didn’t say shit! And okay sure you can say she avoided him cause she would, but then why wouldn’t he be clear when they have the actual convo like why make her guess? She’s going to second guess cause of course she would! And that just makes it a whole mess again! Cause now he’s upset with her and she doesn’t get it and he still isn’t being straightforward. It’s 2024, is it really that hard to get a real confession out of him? Must it be coerced like whatever bs happened with the canon ship? Does he really have to lose her to finally go after her?? Cause at that point I low key fucking wish he would. I just really freaking hate that it’s always her fault. Why the fuck is it always her fault for not catering to him? I’m so annoyed cause I like the writing style but it’s exhausting reading this bs. I want out of this fandom. I really want to be done. I care way too fucking much and it’s not healthy at all for me.
#cynply ranting#I’m about to update my profile on ao3 again and say no comments#I don’t want to moderate them cause I’ll just delete and block if I’m not feeling it#but I also don’t want to disallow comments cause I do have some folks there that aren’t here#and it could be a genuine question but again I don’t know you and I don’t want to waste time explaining if you’re gonna fight me on it late#it’s always a struggle cause I pride myself on being an excellent commenter#so yall should just get on my level#not for my fics though go leave love letters for authors who want them#I don’t need validation or praise I’m just here#it’s nice if you’re gonna be kind but if you’re not then I don’t care#was having a discussion with my friend and he wanted constructive criticism and I’m like nope not me#I do this for fun I’m not looking to improve#I just want to get the idea out and be done with it#I have a real job that I love that takes most of my energy so I’m not pivoting into writing
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It lives in my head rent free that someone in my insta comments had the utmost confidence to say that British people CANNOT be POC…
Just simply not possible
#talks#it’s a shame they deleted their stuff and it was years ago so I don’t know which post it was under#but I remember going back to look for it only for it to be gone#I kind of miss you racist commenter#being extremely wrong and then fighting other people in the comments believing British people are strictly white#very cute#and I’m talking about colored aziraphale#cause I love to project 💅
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I’d like to formally apologise for the texting stories I wrote when I first started writing them Im sorry to anyone who read that absolute shit
#I got a comment on one of them and I looked at it and I reread the story it was on and god it was so bad#like next level embarrassing and cringey#don’t you go read them now I’m watching you 👀#my finger hovering over the delete button#Octonauts
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#i’m not going to name names obvi#and i’ll delete this later#but i just say a chirlie say they’re scared to say they don’t like carlos because of carlos stans…#now listen… both sides of the fandom can be HORRENDOUS sometimes#but like…#you have to open your eyes a little bit come on!!!!! 😭#i have never got more death threats than i did when i was a charles stan#and it wasn’t from carlos stans#it was coming from inside the house 😭😭 literally charles fans telling me to kms because i defended carlos and suddenly i’m a fake fan#😭😭😭 i would get so many death threats FROM CHARLES STANS not from carlos stans 😭 i just deleted my account and made this one 😭😭#‘obviously carlos stans wouldn’t do that if you’re defending him’ oh but there were definitely times i gave in and believed those weird#conspiracy theories they make up and not a single carlos fan said anything 😭 i have 1 weird comment from one and they just decided to block#like a civilised person 😭😭#that just really shocked me i’m sorry i’ll delete this later on#i won’t tag this#have some self awareness maybe? look inwards.
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#was so close to going through my old posts and deleting the rlly old ones i don’t like anymore#bc god my middle school art was so bad#and i’m a little bitter at how many notes they have despite how much i’ve improved#(some of them have thousands!! what the fuck!)#but i got too sentimental looking at all the comments on one of the sanders sides posts so they’re staying up#i might organize them under a different tag so ppl don’t see them when looking for my art? maybe?#idk this is kind of all my art anyway so that wouldn’t rlly make a difference#whatever#my first post was in 2018. i was 14??#drawing with my finger on the school ipad..#anyway rambling over#ppl can go look at my middle school art ig but don’t laugh at me ok 👉👈
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#has anyone else been getting like#like i go to look at the comments on something on someone’s post and it’ll say the comment is blocked or deleted#and at first i thought someone just had me blocked but it’s also happening on things that like i’ve posted#i don’t know if i’m being delusional and someone’s actually blocked me or#help
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#not to like subtweet#or whatever we wanna call it these days#but if I get one more ‘oh lol I thought this was a weird ghost for a sec’ comment on my tiktaalik art#i might just quite art forever#I’m sorry it’s not fully coloured and shaded#I’m a uni student and very tired#but ghosts generally don’t have flippers#or huge mouths across the top of their head#anyway might delete this later#since this will likely not stop anyone just passing by my work via tags or reblogs#from going ‘haha I thought your art that is trying to depict one thing in perticular looked like a weird version of a very different#completely unrelated thing lol isn’t that so funny’#but for anyone who does read this#I personally don’t think it’s funny#in fact I find it very discouraging#so please don’t leave comments like that on my posts
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please date my sister in law | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: the one where charles won’t rest until he gets his fiancée’s sister a boyfriend.
liked by maxverstappen1, yoursistersuser, 806,026 others!
charles_leclerc: are you a hot and single guy OR woman in monaco looking for the perfect lady? well boy do i have good news for you! here we have yn ln, my sister-in law, she’s VERY single, likes long walks on the beach, napping, eating, and knitting. if you are interested please comment below! SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY.
view comments below!
yourusername: what the fuck is this charles
charles_leclerc: this is me getting you a boyfriend?
yourusername: NO CHARLES THIS IS JUST NO. @/yoursistersuser TAKE HIS PHONE?
yoursistersuser: I HAVE BUT HE JUST KEEPS BUYING MORE
charles_leclerc: i cannot be stopped
user1: i’m interested?
charles_leclerc: no you are too ugly
yourusername: cha please stop
charles_leclerc: i will stop once i get you a nice PRETTY boyfriend
yoursistersuser: love, please delete this
charles_leclerc: i would do anything for you… except deleted this. yn needs a bf, she’s been to lonely lately
yoursistersuser: but this doesn’t help her get a boyfriend charles
charles_leclerc: but it will!! have faith
user2: he’s trying to sell her like she’s a dog?? 😭
user3: “likes long walks on the beach, napping, eating” IS SHE A DOG CHARLES??
user4: this is borderline weird and thoughtful at the same time
user5: charles get engaged and goes crazy
user6: i’m interested!
charles_leclerc: no you are far too short
yourusername: what’s the point of this if you’re just going to reject everyone
charles_leclerc: i need to pick someone suitable, i don’t need someone ugly or short ruining my wedding pictures
yourusername; then how about you delete this and don’t have to worry about “someone ugly or short ruining my wedding pictures”
charles_leclerc; but i don’t want you alone and sad in the pictures either!
user7: yn doesn’t have a bf?? she’s gorgeous
user8: charles you work with 19 perfectly rich, fine, and tall?? (not really, depends) men, set her up with them
user9: girl half of those men are taken
user8: okay so like 8 rich, fine, and tall (??) men, those are still lots of chances
oscarpiastri: what is going on?
charles_leclerc: are you interested oscar? because you’d be my top pick.
oscarpiastri: i’m too busy with racing for relationships right now, sorry!
yourusername: i just got rejected in front of the whole world through my brother-in law. CHARLES PLEASE STOP THIS
user9: hey so this is crazy!
user10: it’s cute that he cares enough about this too make a whole post
yourusername: charles please stop i’m getting so many dick pics
user12: gross
user13: oh that’s not…
user14: #freeyn
user15: why is he trying to sell her like a dog
user16: if this actual works, i fear we will never hear the end of it from charles
charles_leclerc: all those who are sending dick pics to my sister-in law WILL be reported for harassment. you are lucky my fiancé is holding me back from posting your small dicks all over social media.
user17: POST THE SMALL DICKS CHARLES, DO IT
user18: STOP HOLDING HIM BACK!! LET HIM BE FREE
user19: when he’s protective over his soon to be family >>
user20: three days into summer break and charles has gone crazy
yourusername: i gave you permission to propose to my sister and this is how you repay me?
yoursistersuser: we’re stuck with him for this rest of our lives 😓
yourusername: please, don’t remind me.
user21: “guy or woman” is yn gay?
charles_leclerc: yes! she is half homosexual :)
yourusername: jesus charles
charles_leclerc: what? it’s true!
danielricciardo: can you do one of these post for me?
charles_leclerc: you are rich, tall and buff. no.
charles_leclerc; @/maxverstappen1, @/georgerussell63, @/oscarpiastri, @/carlossainz55, @/alex_albon, @/danielricciardo, @/landonorris who’s interested? 😁
alex_albon; nope
danielricciardo: this weird mate
oscarpiastri; i’ve already said no
landonorris: no thank you
carlossainz55: no thank you
georgerussell63: shakes head
yourusername; kill me now
charles_leclerc: okay. whatever. i don’t care.
carlossainz55: he cares
charles_leclerc: on a completely totally unrelated note @/maxverstappen1, join me for coffee tomorrow morning?
maxverstappen1: sure 👍
— cafe near charles house, 9am, on the dot.
— max verstappen has posted a new story!
[caption: nice cafe 👍]
story responses:
charles_leclerc: hehehehe 😈
user22: SO YOU AND YN WERE HANGING OUT??
user23: that twitter user wasn’t lying??!?!??
user24: charles set you and yn up huh 😼
danielricciardo: who goes to a cafe and gets tea?
maxverstappen1: yn does. and then i felt awkward ordering something else.
danielricciardo: it’s been years and she still makes you nervous?? 🤣
maxverstappen1: shut it
landonorris: i’m surprised you didn’t run away in fear when you say her instead of charles
maxverstappen1: so does everyone just know about charles plan or what?
landonorris: pretty much yeah!
liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 501,026 others!
yourusername: july and august photo dump 👍
view comments below!
charles_leclerc: my wedding is in a week, why are you posting on instagram and not freaking out?
yourusername: i can multitask
charles_leclerc: maybe you having a bf was a bad idea, you are too distracted 😑
yourusername; lalalala can’t hear you
user23: boyfriend you say? 😏
user24: 2 months and shes been seen "hanging out" with max more then 10 times, AND she justs posted jimmy or sassy (i cant tell the difference) what are you tryna say yn?
user25: man i can’t believe charles actually got yn a boyfriend
user26: and it’s MAX. like his max.
user27: how do yall even know theyre dating?
user25: context clues babes
user28: this is the closest we’ll get to yn and max making it “official”
user29: i feel like if they go to the wedding together, that’ll be them making it “official”
user30: oh definitely
maxverstappen1: puzzles are hard
yourusername: they’re easy when you focus on
maxverstappen1: how can i focus when i when i have a gorgeous woman should as yourself near me?
landonorris: that was smooth man 👏
maxverstappen1: thank you, i’ve been practicing
user31: and people are still saying they aren’t together??
user32: people want them to post a story wirh the caption “this is us making it official” 💀 like babes this is the best we’re going to get
user33: i can’t believe the wedding of the century is in ONE WEEK??
user34: it feels like just yesterday when charles accidentally told the whole world he was engaged
liked by charles_leclerc, yourisistersuser, and 1,026,027 others!
yourusername: today, my sister married an idiot
view comments below!
user35: that wedding was so fucking gorgeous
user36: charles and yn planned the whole thing?? fuck f1 we need them as party planners
yourusername: planning this wedding was the most stressful thing in my fucking life. i never want to plan anything ever again
user37: well the wedding was beautiful so, worth it?
user38: i was expecting a much more emotional caption
user39: she got all her emotions out during her speech 😭
user40: OMG HER SPEECH WAS THE CUTEST THING. “charles you have changed mine and my sisters life for the better. you have introduced me to someone who makes me feel like i’m on cloud 9.” THE CAMERA PANS TO MAX??? “i know we joke and what not, but… i don’t know, just…thank you for making me feel like family.” TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE “i love you both so much,” I CRIED, CHARLES CRIED, EVERYONE CRIED
user41: we will never get that amount of emotion from yn ever again
user42: i will enjoy it while it last
yoursistersuser: i did indeed marry an idiot.
yourusername: it’s okay tho! we still like him
charles_leclerc: awwwww 🥰🥰
user43: charles just ignoring the idiot part
user44: it’s been a good day. yn and max made itt official, charles got married, and the wedding was gorgeous
user45: f1 twt has never been so peaceful
user46; RIGHT??? everyone’s just celebrating the marriage
maxverstappen1: will we have a big wedding?
yourusername: absolutely not. unless charles plans it by himself, we’re getting married in a courthouse
charles_leclerc: are you serious? you’ll let me plan your wedding?
yourusername: you proved yourself with this wedding so yes
charles_leclerc: AHHHHHH OMG OMG OMG I HAVE TO GET STARTED
user47: first it started with him trying to get her a bf, now he’s planning her wedding
user48: i feel like a proud mom watching her kids grow up 😢
. . .
notes; pls pls pls send me blurb or smau request!! i have 2 weeks left of vacation and i must make the most of it
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#max verstappen social media au#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1 smau
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𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘
pairing: franco colapinto x fem!singer!reader, ex!lando norris x fem!singer!reader
summary: a year after the breakup between y/n and lando, daniel and alex set her up with someone new
warnings: some angst, fluff, some swearing, pda, this is for my alex and daniel fans (me), only some bad guy lando, pretend that some of the things that happened in 2024 happend in 2023
taglist: @landorris, @bellsboops, @a-beaverhausen, @seasonswinter, @rosalie-mae, @saythename-sm, @nataliambc, @sarahsobsession, @awritingtree, @kawaiifurychaos, @batman7sworld, @dying-inside-but-its-classy , @mbioooo0000, @xo100, @charlotte-xoxo, @theonottsbxtch, @iamred-iamyellow, @willowpains, @sunny44, @caroto-porta-world-blog
do not answer ‼️
do not answer ‼️
hey, can we talk?
about what?
what is there to talk about?
do not answer ‼️
i didn’t want it to turn out this way
YOU’RE the one who cheated, not me
i am fully entitled to react the way i did
and it could’ve been worse
do not answer ‼️
i know, it was shitty of me
i was just lonely and drunk
i didn’t mean it
that is such bullshit lando
you’re away 24/7 and not ONCE did i do what you did
don’t do this now
i’m moving on. you should too
what would your girlfriend think of this?
do not answer ‼️
i miss you, y/n
don’t do this, lando.
you’re going to regret it
do not answer ‼️
i regret doing this to you
it’s not the same with her
nothing will ever be enough for you lando
the only things i ask of you is to leave me alone and treat your
girlfriend right
don’t text me anymore. delete my number
i really do hope you find someone to settle down with
even if you don’t deserve it
you’ve blocked this number!
f1gossip
liked by user1, user2, and 114,025 others
f1gossip a little over a year after the breakup between lando norris and singer y/n y/l/n, y/n was seen hanging out in the williams garage with new driver franco colapinto at the italian grand prix. is a new romance budding?
view all 347 comments
user1 this is unexpected but not unwelcome
user2 they would be so cute together
author pretend it’s franco in the pictures 😭😭
user3 did y’all see they way he was looking at her??
↳ user4 they are both down bad
user5 daniel or alex probably set that up
↳ user6 oh for sure, they’re y/n’s biggest fans
user7 it’s nice to see her looking happy with someone new
lilyswag
liked by totallynotdaniel, yourspam, and 37 others
lilyswag going for a sweet treat with daniel after we successfully played matchmaker
view all 21 comments
totallynotdaniel feeling accomplished 😘😘
professionalchili okay queens
yourspam girl what
↳ lilyswag i thought i made it so you couldn’t see this….
↳ yourspam 🤨🤨🤨
artsyfartsyalex a well deserved sweet treat
ilovedaniel NEW SONG NEW SONG
↳ totallynotdaniel max…. you are so right
↳ totallynotdaniel NEW SONG NEW SONG
yourspam y’all better have gotten me, lily, and heidi something 😐😐
↳ lilyswag on the way to you now
↳ yourspam merci 😌😌
↳ artsyfartsyalex okay bilingual queen
↳ yourspam date me 😍😍 get rid of charles
↳ justaninchident girl what-
yourusername
liked by francolapinto, alex_albon, and 426, 972 others
yourusername p9 and p13 for my boys! mama’s so proud 🥺🥺 thank you for bringing me along 🤍 even though now i know your true intent (you too lily and heidi)
view all 1,255 comments
user1 i love their dynamic so much
alex_albon 🤫🤫🤫🤫
user2 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
danielricciardo #masterminds
↳ alex_albon where’s our pay check
user3 they totally set her up with franco
francolapinto encantada de conocerte ❤️ (lovely to meet you)
↳ user4 this man is on a mission
user5 did you see the way franco was always looking for her??
↳ user6 his face LIT UP when he would talk to her
↳ user7 full on giggling n shit
lilymhe we definitely had no idea what was going on
↳ heidiberger_ 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
unknown
unknown
hey, is this y/n?
who are you?
unknown
oh sorry, it’s franco
i got your number from alex
ohh
that makes sense
well what’s going on franco?
franco
i really liked hanging out with you
i was hoping maybe we could do it again?
we could stay a couple days after the azerbaijan grand prix and explore the city
i don’t know…
franco
i’m not like him
please, just let me have a chance
if you don’t like it then we can never speak about it again
if you do, maybe we could go on a date
you can bring bernie
deal.
f1gossip
liked by user1, danielricciardo, and 123,973 others
f1gossip y/n y/l/n and franco colapinto seen walking her dog bernie and holding hands out in baku, azerbaijan after the azerbaijan grand prix. is this further conformation of their relationship?
view all 1,054 comments
user1 daniel?? what are you doing here
user2 they look so happy together, i hope they’re together
↳ user3 she deserves happiness after her last relationship
user4 the father who stepped up 👏👏
user5 bernie is so cute 🥺🥺
lilyswag we did it y’all
↳ user6 ALEX??
↳ lilyswag 🤫🤫🤫
yourspam
liked by lilyswag, artsyfartsyalex, and 37 others
yourspam AHHHHH
view all 26 comments
artsyfartsyalex happy for you belle 💗
lilyswag IT WORKED
lilyswag YIPPEE
totallynotdaniel alex and i are literally geniuses
ilovedaniel new songs coming??
↳ yourspam maybe…
professionalchili alex literally yelled yippee out loud
yourusername
liked by francolapinto, danielricciardo, and 802,647 others
yourusername loading . . . .
comments have been turned off
yourusername
liked by francolapinto, alexandrasaintmleux, and 1,573,025 others
yourusername !!!!!!!!!! my new ep gasoline comes out in a week with the tracks so american, bed chem, risk, so high school, gasoline ft. HAIM, and am i okay ft. megan moroney!
view all 3,936 others
user1 y/n y/l/n and megan moroney?? my two worlds have collided
megmoroney 💙💙
user2 this are all about franco i just know it
danielricciardo max just squealed in delight…. and so did i
↳ maxverstappen1 I DID NOT
↳ user3 it’s okay max, we all know you did
alexandrasaintmleux will be streaming on repeat 💗💗
user4 I’M NOT READY
lilymhe pre-tournament playlist??
user5 THEY DID IT, I JUST CAN’T PROVE IT
francolapinto muy orgullosa y mucho amor ❤️ (very proud and much love)
↳ user6 AHHHHH
francolapinto
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 1,246,013 others
francolapinto thank you to all the boys you’ve loved before ❤️
comments have been limited
yourusername :’) 🤍
user1 the balls this man has to diss you know who
alex_albon where’s our dedication song??
danielricciardo yeah, where’s the “thank you and i love you alex and daniel?”
↳ yourusername in the works, trust
heidiberger_ 💗💗
lilymhe you guys deserve this!
user2 thank you y/n for introducing him to taylor swift
#emma writes#imagine#x reader#x fem!reader#formula 1#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x female reader#formula one#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 smau#f1 social media au#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#gracie abrams#singer!reader#lando norris
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Princess Party | Lando Norris x Best Friend! Reader
Summary: Lando enjoys participating in all night life has to offer, particularly with his best friend. When Y/N falls pregnant after one drunken night, he panics. After all, why should he trade a club party for a princess party?
Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Baby fever. Loss of friendship. Pregnancy. Lando is not great in this.
Blonde female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.
Main Masterlist
next.
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YourUserName just posted
liked by mclaren, lnfour and others
YourUserName a podium for my favourite boy 🍾🧡#AustralianGP tagged: landonorris
5,778 comments
YourUserName and another huge well done to my other papaya pookie @ oscarpiastri for p4 🥳
→ oscarpiastri i thought we agreed you’d stop calling me that
→ YourUserName WE agreed to nothing
→ landonorris um i should be your only papaya pookie
→ oscarpiastri disrespected in my home town
georgerussell63 excuse me, why don’t you make posts like this about me
→ YourUserName when was the last time you were on a podium
→ alex_albon hahaha
→ georgerussell63 @ alex_albon hey, i’m closer than you are
→ YourUserName now, now, children, behave
User1 is this his girlfriend?
→ User2 no, just his childhood friend. she comes to most races to support him as she’s been there since his karting days
→ User3 and she’s really close with the the grid, but particularly the 2019 rookies
danielricciardo well done, mate. well deserved
carlossainz55 always nice to share a podium with you
User4 i'm sorry but i can’t believe her and lando are just friends when she takes the most boyfriend-coded pictures of him
mclaren petition to hire y/n as lando’s full time photographer
→ alex_albon no, because i need her to be mine considering she actually managed to make lando look good
liked by YourUserName
→ landonorris oi!
YourUserName posted a new story
landonorris posted a new story
maxverstappen1 posted a new story
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
User5 i KNEW they were more than friends
User6 oh so now she realises her ‘feelings’, now that he’s winning trophies
→ User7 bitch she’s been by his side since baby karting days
User8 you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me (the asylum being tricked into thinking y/n and lando were nothing more than friends)
User9 not max deleting his story after waking up and realising the consequences of his drunken actions
User10 y/nlando shippers rise! we’ve been waiting YEARS for this day to come
User11 what a gross invasion of privacy from that staff member. i hope they find out who it was and fire them
alex_albon @ LandoNorris awfully cryptic of you
danielricciardo @ LandoNorris how are you still alive
→ LandoNorris ‘cause I’m not old like you
User12 @ LandoNorris mr norris, tell us what you did
→ georgerussell63 more like who
(this comment has been deleted)
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
A month later
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
User1 looks like she removed everyone she didn’t personally know and made her insta private
User2 lando no longer follows her either
User3 what is going on in the house of commons
User4 maybe they truly weren’t dating but sleeping together screwed up their friendship
User5 looks like the rest of the grid still follow her tho?
→ User6 guys guys. GR63 isn’t following lando anymore either?!
→ User7 at least we know which side he picked in the divorce
→ User8 i'm worried this means lando did something wrong because whilst i love him, i can’t look past him screwing up their friendship just because he was thinking with his dick
User9 good, she wasn’t good enough for him anyway
→ User10 relax, he’s not going to shag you
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
YourUserName just posted
liked by zbrownceo, flonorris and others
YourUserName me and you against the world. little bean coming soon tagged: yoursister
1,200 comments
YourUserName i think aunty @ yoursister might be more excited to meet you
francisca.cgomes can’t wait to meet little y/l/n
georgerussell63 me and carmen are so excited. She’s buying baby clothes already
lilymhe i call godmother
→ francisca.cgomes nuh uh
→ alex_albon get in line
→ yoursister we all know i win this battle
→ georgerussell63 whoa whoa whoa, back off, you already get aunt
charles_leclerc so excited for you, y/n/n
carlossainz55 congratulations
danielricciardo heck yeah! i can’t wait to meet the bean
maxverstappen1 do i see a red bull onesie in the baby’s future?
→ charles_leclerc try a ferrari one
→ alex_albon we all know it’ll be williams
→ oscarpiastri racing baby!
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
Baby Fever Angst Series
Tag list
@lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @elijahslover @hc-dutch @mxdi0 @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @glow-ish @reguluscrystals
#baby fever angst#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 headcanon#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris drabble#lando norris headcanon#lando norris one shot#lando norris fluff#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader
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