#I definitely went for all look no substance in this design

[emry-stars-art]

@anon-lemon with this ask and the resulting one shot: I also think freshwater merDrew is pretty hehe, the fish I based him off of is a peacock bass (maybe specifically royal peacock bass? With the more blue fin idk) but more dramatic. Like so:

(This is him in perfect nice lighting under shallow water probably but shh he’s beautiful)

Reference pictures I used under the cut

I love mixing and matching references. Idc what I heard growing up, life CAN be a buffet and I CAN a pick my favorite parts to mash together sometimes 😌

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 5.1k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. warnings for foul language, substance use (two characters get crossfaded), and sexually suggestive content (finally lol)

part eight: the final stormㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   previous. next. masterlist

“y/n, have you considered purchasing glasses?” 

  ironically, the question made you narrow your eyes at namjoon, who was mindlessly passing out glasses for the table. some of the boys stifled laughs and you wondered what that was about. you were catching them up on how jungkook has been helping you around the farm - albeit, not recently. every time things seemed to be all right, there was an almost kiss that was followed by someone taking distance. the first time, it was jungkook. now, it was you.

  “what are you talking about?” you asked, just as jungkook walked through the front doors of the saloon.

  it was a holiday, so everyone decided to take the day off and hoseok closed up the pub from the public. that left you and your friends to claim the saloon as your hangout spot for the night. unlike everyone else, you still had things to take care of, having got up early and tended to the livestock. even though you did cut your day short, finishing up by lunch-time, you were tired from the preceding seven day work week. it was about time you had a drink.

  jungkook gave a small wave to everyone and sat himself in between seokjin and jimin, across from you. “sorry, i’m late. i was dropping jiwon at mrs. oh’s and she forgot her ipad,” he said.

  “we haven’t sat down and drank in a while with all of us, it’s nice that we’re all here,” remarked namjoon, apparently brushing off your previous question.

  some time had passed since the everyone in the group was able to hang out together, the last time being movie night at taehyung’s house. therefore, some time had passed since things got weird between you and jungkook. you wouldn’t call the first incident during breakfast-dinner an “almost kiss,” since you weren’t even sure if jungkook wanted to kiss you or it was all in your head. as for the night of jiwon’s disappearance, that was definitely more of a kiss than the other, but you dismissed it as something done in the heat of a vulnerable moment. given the conflicting suggestions from those around you, you had decided to take it easy and let him have his distance.

  apparently, jungkook did not like that and you were about to learn this.

  you crinkled your nose at the shots being poured. “i haven’t played a drinking game in so long.”

  hoseok, who was doing the honours, shook his head. “it’s okay, you definitely won’t lose. jimin is a lightweight,” he grinned, but jimin didn’t look the slightest bit fazed.

  “i’m not embarrassed. getting drunk faster means i spend less money,” jimin countered, which you thought was actually a good point.

  beside you, taehyung slid over a shot glass closer to you, since hoseok was at the other end of the table. you thanked him casually, but you swore you noticed jungkook’s eyes trained on the interaction. you wanted to scoff, since this was exactly what he was encouraging with taehyung, despite the fact that he was the individual in your friend group that you talked the least to. that was the most baffling part.

  “y/n can definitely drink. you had, like, four bottles to yourself last week,” seokjin commented.

  that immediately got jungkook’s attention. “last week?” he asked, voice an octave too high to be dismissed as a casual question.

  “yeah,” answered taehyung. “a few of us got dinner last week. i think you said no one could watch jiwon.” 

  “why, would you have changed your mind if you knew y/n was going to be th - “ yoongi started, but was cut off by two sharp elbow jabs from both sides, courtesy of namjoon and seokjin.

  on the other hand, you only accepted the invite because they mentioned jungkook couldn’t make it. it was to the same tune of you leaving book club early when jungkook made the meeting thirty minutes late or you helping namjoon with preparations for the midsummer fair only during jungkook’s working hours. you also avoided the general store for any errands, leaving you with a broken mop that couldn’t be replaced because of you staying away from him. 

  when jungkook got up to take a phone call, jimin poked you. “jungkook told me he thinks you’re avoiding him.” his voice was low, leaving the conversation to only be heard between the two of you.

  “huh? oh, yeah, i am.”

  the way his mouth dropped made you want to laugh. “what? why?”

  “i need to sort myself out. he should also,” you answered, shrugging. it looked like jimin wanted to ask more, but jungkook returned and the talk ceased.

  yoongi brought playing cards and the eight of you began a random game, which he explained the rules for. although the bar was empty, save for your group, voices filled the establishment to the brim. music flowed in the background amidst the way conversation did and it only grew with the more soju being poured. you did make a mental note to find some female friends in town, though, having to chastise some of the boys for jokes that they could have been cancelled for. 

  eventually, you had quite a few drinks, despite never being on the losing end for any of the games, which would usually call for the player to do so. at some point, a glass of water magically appeared in front of you. you turned to see that it was who jungkook had gotten up from his seat, now putting the pitcher of water back behind the bar. 

  the conversation moved to talking about the midsummer festival, which only grew rowdy once drinks were poured.

  “i bet you fifty bucks that you won’t find a date.” it was yoongi who sung the dare to jimin, who immediately accepted the challenge. 

  namjoon sighed, as he dealt cards across the table. “or you guys can be productive members of society and help me out by running a booth.”

  “oh! what booth do you need help with?” seokjin asked, slowly and a little too rehearsed. you looked at him oddly, wondering why he was talking like that and why he was side-eying namjoon the whole time. 

  namjoon sighed deeply at seokjin, eyes wide like he was about to slap him. “the kissing booth,” he answered, through gritted teeth, and you could catch the boys snickering at the scene. 

  again, with a mischievous glint in his eye, yoongi spoke up. “oh? y/n, you should do it. everyone in town thinks you’re a beauty.”

  you opened your mouth to respond, but was interrupted.

  “yeah, if you want to get sick,” jungkook instantly cut in, out of nowhere. “do you know how many germs a kissing booth will spread? hyung, don’t you think it’s a bit irresponsible to hold one?” it was like he couldn’t stop talking, despite the fact that he’d been silent for the last little while and suddenly had a burst of passion about kissing booths.

  the debate continued on, as hoseok poured yet another round of shots for the eight of you. you only really listened on, mostly confused because this was the first you heard of this idea. while helping namjoon and mayor kim with the festival preparations, there was not a single mention of a kissing booth in the plans. you narrowed your eyes at namjoon, who gave you a random thumbs up under the table.

  meanwhile, jungkook had yet to directly interact with you since the night started. you could understand why and the more you had to drink, the more you wanted to clear the air without holding back. there had yet to be an opportunity, though.

  “i’m going out for a smoke,” announced jungkook after just under three hours passed. 

  the alcohol in your system spoke for you before you even realized. “i’ll come.” 

  “no, it’s bad for you,” jungkook shot back in a heartbeat, eyebrows raised at your response. “you don’t smoke.” he waved something cylindrical in his hand, shiny and metallic. you made it out to be a grinder.

  to your side, seokjin pouted. “but, we were winning the game!” the two of you claimed victory for the past three rounds in a row, partaking in a game for partners and the eight of you evening things out for teams. 

  your competitive side definitely came out during the drinking, even despite being under the influence. it maybe had something to do with the fact that jungkook immediately claimed taehyung as his partner earlier, nearly jumping out of his seat when he did so. when you asked him why he was so hasty, jungkook replied that it was because he was ready to beat you and taehyung was the best at the game after himself.

  “are you guys going to talk now? i’m tired of the tension,” yoongi pleaded, but was hushed by taehyung and wasn’t heard by either you or jungkook.

  taehyung cleared his throat. “it’s okay, i’ll be your partner, jin hyung.” he rubbed his temples, looking at you and jungkook. “you guys can join in the next round.”

  “i smoke,” you insisted to jungkook. this wasn’t entirely false, as it was something you gravitated towards in social settings only. with a few drinks in your system, this was a likely time for you to accept a joint, whether it was with jungkook or not.

  jungkook cocked an eyebrow at you. “fine. you can roll then,” he said, as if testing you.

  evidently, you ended up failing the test and jungkook finally found the one thing you weren’t good at.

  outside and through the back door of the saloon, you and jungkook were propped up on some large boulders. like it always was, the stars were out and twinkling in a mesmerizing fashion. in your tipsy state, they were way too bright. meanwhile, across from where you sat, jungkook was watching you struggle with the rolling papers in between your fingers. he snickered to himself, taking a sip of the beer that he brought with him.

  the blistering and sweltering of the summer air called for clothing that didn’t suffocate you, but you felt naked under jungkook’s gaze. you wore a mustard yellow tube top and men’s basketball shorts, a pair that you stole from your ex, while your hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. your legs swung back and forth, your feet not even close to touching the ground while sitting on the boulder, and you were wearing flip flops from the general store.

  “when i met you at the funeral again, you were wearing high heels and satin,” jungkook randomly commented, the alcohol failing to conceal his once over of your appearance. “even on your first day, you were wearing platforms.”

  you were certainly blushing from his stare, but the nightfall concealed the red of your bashfulness. “i guess the last two months changed me already.” you didn’t realize that jungkook remembered such details long after the fact.

  he took a swig from his bottle. “don’t get me wrong. i like you both ways,” jungkook offered and the redness on your cheeks spread to the rest of your face. 

  you didn’t want to push him and ask what he meant by that. he was certainly right, though, your time in amber valley was already drastically affecting you. yet, it was easy to miss, especially after you finally found the right tune to your routine. though your new life was hard work, you’d never felt so easygoing and waking up never felt like a chore. when your backyard was beautiful fields, sunflowers grew in front of your house and your best friends were your stubborn chickens, life was no longer one of stressful hustle.

  jungkook made you break away from your thoughts, speaking up again to cut the silence. “you know, anytime before i turn forty would be nice.”

  you furrowed your eyebrows and then realized he was gesturing to the papers and his grinder in your lap, remembering the task you had at hand. “oh, sorry. forgot what i was doing,” you responded.

  he chuckled and you nearly trembled when he hopped off his boulder, strolling towards you. before you knew it, jungkook stood right in front of you, so close you could bump head. he swiped the materials from your lap - just barely brushing his hands on your legs. this time, unlike the moment you shared at dinner, something told you that jungkook knew what he was doing because he looked immediately up at you when he did so. 

  when jungkook didn’t move, it was your turn to break the silence and admittedly, it took all your strength. “you’ve had a couple drinks. you want to smoke later?” you suggested, finding the bravery to look right back at him through your eyelashes. 

  he stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head, as if to say it was no big deal. instead of going back to his previous sitting space, jungkook leaned on the tree just a few feet away from you and set his bottle on your side. 

  “we have the day off, relax a bit,” he said breezily, raising the papers to his mouth and applied the tiniest bit of moisture from his lips. you recalled the way they looked in your recurring dreams and suddenly found the ground the most interesting thing in the world.

  you replied, “i am relaxed,” and took his bottle from beside you, taking a gulp. 

  you felt his eyes burning into you and as the alcohol went down your throat, the sensation felt less and less hot. instead, you were inclined to meet his eyes again and when you did, you saw that your suspicions were correct. jungkook was still looking right at you.

  the distraction pulled your attention away with what jungkook was fumbling around with in his hands and before your very eyes, he held up perfectly neat joint between his thumb and index. it took a grand total over less than two minutes.

  “done,” jungkook announced, as he began feeling his pockets for a lighter.

  you gaped. “that was insanely fast.”

  he snorted. “i shouldn’t have asked you. pretty girls have men rolling for them all the time, why am i surprised that you couldn’t do it?” it sounded like jungkook was teasing you, but his expression remained serious. 

  “jeon jungkook, you’ve been talking a lot tonight,” you voiced, mindlessly playing with your hair. 

  you weren’t sure if your words were ones of warning or encouragement, since the only thing you could focus on was how jungkook just called you pretty. meanwhile, it was hard to resist taking another sip of jungkook’s drink, hoping it would ease your heart rate. you did so, taking a larger gulp than before, and you noticed the way he frowned when watching you.

  “have i?” jungkook questioned, putting the joint between his lips and clicked his lighter, bringing it close to his face and letting the tip turn a deep orange. sterling smoke filled your surroundings, but he was clear as day. 

  you nodded slowly. “more than usual. and that’s with that big mouth of yours,” you added, hoping that cracking a joke would make you at ease.

  it didn’t. jungkook’s lips did tug into a smile, but you were more distracted with the way that he looked blowing out clouds of smoke - honestly, he was pretty. his lips were pretty and his heavy lids were pretty. the way he voice grew raspy as the night went on and more so when he smoked was pretty.

  you realized that you were staring now too and only realized when jungkook gently took his bottle away from your grip. he sighed, placing it on the ground to pick up later. 

  “and you haven’t talked much. that means you shouldn’t have more of this,” he asserted, even despite your whines of objection. “when your big mouth is quiet, that’s trouble. you have something on your mind?” 

  “then pass the joint,” you said, folding your arms across your chest. 

  jungkook immediately burst out laughing, which annoyed you. “absolutely not. you’re drunk and you couldn’t roll, so that means you don’t need to get high.”

  you pouted, which was extremely out of character for you and made jungkook laugh even more. “what? no.”

  “i’m the one who’s going to be walking you home safe, so i’d like to do it with a peace of mind, thanks,” he said, tilting his head slightly as he examined the state you were in. 

  it never occurred to you to ask any of the boys to make sure that you could get home safely and no one offered. you were confident that you could make it home just fine, but didn’t realize that jungkook had already made it his responsibility to look after you.

  “you know,” you began, “you used to always throw a fit when your mom asked you to walk me home.”

  that was one of your most vivid memories from your childhood in amber valley. even though jungkook was technically younger than you, it was his job to be by your side. it was one of the things that you got teased about back then, mostly by jimin in his devilish phase.

  “you used to get pissed off, but you walked me home every time. i feel like when i look back, i can remember so much of us just walking or riding our horses as kids. i don’t really remember where we were going or what we were up to - only you were always by my side.”

  jungkook looked down, kicking a rock. “safe to say i’ve never had a friend like you?” he hesitated.

  it seemed like every time someone uttered the “f” word, the tension thickened like molasses. it was like a rapid game of table tennis, the way the two of you bounced the word back and forth at each other, hoping the other person would finally give up. at this moment, you and jungkook both looked like you were ready to wave the white flag. 

  but, of course, you were both too competitive to lose. 

  shoving your feelings away, you hopped off the boulder and made steps towards jungkook. he instinctively straightened, no longer leaning on the tree when he watched you approach. instead, he peered down at you, a questioning look glimmering in his eyes. 

  “let me have some,” you demanded, pointing at his hand. “i didn’t come outside just to chat with you.”

  “oh, you didn’t?” jungkook countered, as if you were lying through your teeth and he knew it. “you didn’t come outside to be with me?”

  the words he spoke were sharp and challenged you. you weren’t even sure how to grasp them and by jungkook’s silence, neither did he. he paused for a moment, as if pondering his choices. your feet were planted in the ground, as it was your turn to stand inches away from him and used this to show you weren’t afraid of his challenge. 

  eventually, jungkook chuckled in disbelief. without moving, he brought the lighter to the joint once more, ensuring it was lit. he leaned back into the tree and you were about to object, thinking he was going to refuse your request again. then, instead of handing the joint to you, jungkook turned it around and used his other hand to pull you closer by the arm. you stumbled ahead, nearly chest to chest with jungkook.

  “here,” jungkook said and you were confused.

  he held the joint up, licking his lips and didn’t move. you realized he was holding it for you. jungkook even moved strands of hair from the front of your face and you knew he saw you shiver. as soon as you saw what he waa doing, without missing a beat, you leaned in ever so slightly and looked right up at him when you did. you closed your lips around the tip, the sensation filling your lungs, and he watched you intently. as you inhaled, you found yourself leaning even further into his touch, legs now touching.

  nobody moved when you finished and you coughed gently in the other direction after exhaling. he playfully patted your back, as you let it out. you took one more inhale and then, he brought it back to his own lips.

  “good girl,” he murmured and your mouth went dry, which was definitely not a result of the weed. 

  when you composed yourself, you were aware of how close you two were now standing to each other. it felt like another challenge, to see who would move first. neither of you lost, unlike last time. 

  “you’ve been avoiding me,” you finally blurted out, but jungkook didn’t seem to mind. in fact, his expression remained blank and unreadable, which was driving you crazy.

  jungkook responded, “you mean you’ve been avoiding me?” his voice was lower and neared a whisper of a volume.

  “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “and i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back, before sighing and looking down at his feet. “maybe i have been talking too much tonight, bunny.” his voice dialed back on intensity. 

  you raised an eyebrow at jungkook. “why, are you holding something back?” the substances in your body were directing you like a puppet, but it was all thoughts and feelings that you’d held captive in your mind for weeks, being released at once. 

  “you’re making this so difficult,” jungkook grunted, gently pushing you away now, but you didn’t move. “i’m not doing this while you’re drunk.”

  “doing what?” you pressed his statements further and stepped closer again. “i’m drunk, but i know what i’m doing.”

  jungkook gritted his teeth and instead of responding, he slowly bent down and picked the beer bottle up from the ground. swishing it around slightly, he finished the rest of the liquid in one gulp. you didn’t miss the way he didn’t step back, still at the same proximity and refused to be the first one to move. you also refused, for once. 

  though you didn't have much to smoke, the high was settling into your muscles and you felt heavier than usual. jungkook gave you a once over again and observed this. he pressed his lips together and came even closer, wrapping his large hand around your wrist.

  he carefully tugged you towards the back door. “come on. time to go.”

  “no.”

  jungkook pretended to not hear you. “let’s go, you need to sit down.” yet somehow, his tone was unconvincing and his grip lacked intention. it was as if really was he was holding something back. 

  “why did you tell me to ask taehyung out? are you a child?” you were relentless, commanding questions left and right. you even stared right at him, as the alcohol and weed washed away any anxiety pooling in your stomach.

  his jaw visibly clenched. “you’re always so stubborn, you know?” jungkook didn’t sound angry or exasperated, but more so amazed at the attitude you kept up like a brick wall. even he had trouble in your opposition. 

  “and don’t start with me about avoiding you, i was just taking a page out of the jeon jungkook handbook of communication,” you snapped, letting his question through in one ear and out the other.

  “oh, give me a break - “

  “no, now would be a great time to explain yourself,” you demanded.

  jungkook clenched his jaw, before taking another drag of his joint and promptly put it out against the tree. even though you felt nothing but frustration run through your veins, it was damning that he looked so good. you were used to his cheery attitude and playfulness, but something about seeing him so serious made your heart jump in different ways.

  he finally spoke, “i was trying to give you space at first because you have a lot going on. you’re running the farm all by yourself, you live alone - “

  “i’m a grown adult, jungkook! we aren’t kids anymore, you don’t have to protect me!” you cried, voice cracking slightly and when he didn’t answer, you continued. “why are you creating distance between us? do you know how happy i was to have you back in my life after so long?” 

  quietly, he replied, “i was, too.”

  “why are we ignoring what happened at the farmhouse? twice, actually?” you asked, exasperated. “is it because you have jiwon? or, am i imagining things and this is all in my head?”

  “stop asking a million questions a minute.”

  when jungkook’s voice dropped below a whisper, it snapped you back into the reality in front of you, where his face was inches away from yours.

  dreams of you kissing jungkook then flashed before your eyes. the haunting, yet sacchrine images that had been following you around for days clutched onto the confusing emotions that had been following you for the past month and a half. it was clearer now that the gap between the two of you drew smaller and smaller as the conversation went on. it was now at the point where your noses were nearly touching.

  “i tried to fight it, every time it got too close. but, last time - “

  “last time, you were vulnerable. it would have felt wrong if i. . . “ you trailed off, not daring to finish the sentence. the both of you knew what would have happened if you didn’t pull away during your last night together.

  when no one said anything or moved even an inch, jungkook spoke once more. his eyes fell to your lips and this time, he didn’t hide it. they remained fixated until he opened his mouth.

  “i dare you,” was all jungkook said.

  in your twenty five years of living, you never, ever, not once lost a dare to jeon jungkook. the dare in question needed no verbalization for the two of you to understand. the understanding was crystal clear - it was in the way jungkook’s grip on your wrist somehow turned into a gentle hold of your hand, in the way that he counted the amount of times you bit your lip and it was in the way that nobody wanted to move. the dare sounded playful aloud, but was sharp and impatient. 

  today was not the day you were going to lose for the first time. 

  closing the distance between your lips and jungkook’s felt like a slow motion reel, like the entire world braked its rotation just for the two of you. it was as if you could hear each flap of a butterfly’s wings and each leaf on the branches above you rustling in the sticky, summer breeze. there was very little space left between you and jungkook at this point, but the leap to meet his lips you took felt centuries long. 

  jungkook’s lips were as soft as they looked and his clasp in your hand never loosened, only accompanied by his other arm locking around your waist. you could’ve sworn you heard the clatter of the beer bottle drop against the dirt beneath your feet, but your ears were ringing too loud to be sure. he took you by the waist, enveloping you and pulling you as close as he could, deepening the kiss. 

  instantly, like being shocked by electricity, you brought your arms around jungkook’s neck and balanced yourself as high as you could on your tippy toes. you swiped your tongue against his lip piercing. the kiss was hungry and lacked any sense of patience. he moaned softly and his other arm finally dropped your hand, only to bring it around your waist to join the other. he lifted you slightly in your kiss, noticing that you struggled to meet his height, and you giggled into the kiss. 

  jungkook also laughed against your lips and you thought it was finally breaking the tension of the moment. you were proven wrong by yourself, your own body betraying you when you began running your fingers through the hair on the back of his head without even realizing it. jungkook moaned again, louder, at the sensation of you pulling at the strands and bit your bottom lip in response. 

  “shit, you sure you want to do that?” he warned against your lips, but you were distracted by the way his raspy voice lit all your sensations on fire and you slipped your tongue into the kiss.

  the two of you could have been lost in each other’s lips for hours - you wouldn’t be able to tell, completely lost. you stumbled briefly when jungkook led you to turn around and switch with your back against the tree, but he steadied you immediately and held most of your weight without breaking the kiss. he pressed you closer against the tree, now slowing down. 

  jungkook still had his arms around your body, protecting your bare back from the bark and from tripping before anything. now, though, the kiss was no longer hungry, but still intense as if the two of you continued to drown yourselves in each other’s touch. your lips moved against him slowly, savouring each second. this is when you truly lost track of time.

  nobody was going to pull away, even though you could hear jungkook’s phone going off with texts. the only thing that worked was the pattering of raindrops on your head. you ignored it at first and they lessened when jungkook put a hand above your head to protect you. except, the rain only intensified and the two of you needed to catch your breath.

  you swore your lips were tingling when you pulled away. jungkook barely moved, forehead to forehead to you. you met his eyes and despite the cold of the rain, his gaze warmed you. the two of you panted in unison, no words needed to say.

  “we keep finding ourselves in the rain,” jungkook managed to whisper in between breaths. 

  you jumped at the aggressive clap of thunder in the distance, the sky flashing for a moment. this was what snapped you out of your daze, unable to shake off the feeling of jungkook’s lips and body against your own. when you jumped, he wrapped his arms tighter against you, protectively. before you let him pull you away back indoors, there was one more thing you had to say.

  “i win.”

  the kiss you shared with jungkook was ingrained in your memory and there was no chance of you wiping it away, even if you had a few drinks that night. the kiss jolted you cold sober, more alert than you could ever be. the kiss was stretching your muscles after a long drive. it was what both of you had been holding back for the longest time and you didn’t even know it, until your fingers were tangled in his hair and his strong arms gripped your waist like his life depended on it.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyle @wobblewobble822 @taiwan0618 @seokout @firelcrds @xwniazx @shellyyy177 @myseokjinji

[dynamic-k]

If you're accepting asks for this right now, I've always been curious... do you have colors for some of the villains in the Super Sticks AU? Some colors were probably mentioned and I forgot them, but overall I don't remember all of the villains' colors being revealed.

This ask has been staring at me for quite some time, and I did honestly try much earlier to muster up some brain cells to give an answer-

I am always always accepting asks, it's just a matter of me answering on my own time. Theeeeesss one took me a whhiiile~ sorryy

To be honest, if there are not descriptions in the fic or bonus features, than I just don't have a description.

Sometimes, that's how I write. I have the semblances of a character design in my head, but I am definitely more on the word-oriented side of making an AU.

-

I will say that Madame Pop-Up has a pretty heavy design, actually. She was supposed to look a very specific way.

While it might sound strange to hear all at once, that's how it is so deal with it- /silly

-

Madame Pop-Up has a creamy-white [with like- barest hint of pink/red] skin with rosier and more prominent pink patches/splotches.

#fffffa, for the creamy white

#e6b3e5 for the rosy pink

Boots: #b80b45 [Ankle boots or higher, take your pick, she could wear either.]

Gloves: (which go about mid arm length) #fc0859

Poppy flower shade: #fc0820

With yellow middle.

She's supposed to be like a glamourous movie star look. I have yet to decide if I want her canon identity to be famous in that way or not, but it is tempting and matches my envisioned style of her to a T. :]

[The patches should look sorta streaky, like thick stripes. Large brush stroke stripes, of a sort? ]

Think a patches cat. Occasional spots, mostly stripes, a bit random but it looks nice because again: she is very showoff-ish and glamorous.

U U

An intimidating movie-star style though. She terrifies Chosen for a REASON, guys-

Oh and Madame has these color eyes: #bf0d52

-

Those are pictures I found online that match closely with how I imagine Madame's hair. Take creative liberties or variations if you want. 

Oh yeah, hair color: uhhh

[*digging in my worn cardboard box of hexcodes-*]

#520642

There-

-

Now uh-

I DID try to make a sketch.

...It got a little..

...coffee-d. Q Q

..Oops.

[And no, she doesn't have only one arm, I just- Didn't draw it-]

I BLOWDRIED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THAT PAPER, WE'RE FINE-

I went back to my initial Arc One description, apparently Madame has a mask. I almost forgot about that: Like I said, I'm more word-oriented and delve deeply into plot.. and leave designs lacking sometimes-

I try my best, I'm glad the Ladybug Brothers have solid designs at least-

I'm gonna work equally hard with how the Color Gang will look in Arc Two, but that's still gonna be a while-

Uhh, the mask is..

You know what- 

I am just gonna explain how the style is. If someone wants to draw my OCs, use the style descriptions and go ham with whatever you deem fitting.

:]

I love all my fanart, no matter the 'accuracy' or whatever. :)

-

Uhhm, so let's move on to Mudd.

He is really easy to describe because I spent barely any time making him.

I'd just started the AU and needed some bully guy. And then ended up making him Red's nemesis- By accident-

Okay- XD

Uh.. Mudd has an arm canon on his left arm, and he can use it to funnel his acidic mud wherever he pleases at varying pressure rates.

Due to the acidic qualities, and occasional rocky clumps within the dirt substance, it does pack more of a punch than it might sound.

Mudd doesn't really create mud out of thin air, it's more like he manipulates the dirt around him and makes it into acidic mud via his sweat because I thought the way Bakugo's quirk in MHA worked was epically awesome and took creative liberties-

Then he can manipulate his mud into the arm canon and fire it out quicker than he could utilize effort to thrust it himself. Energy saver.

Uhm. He's a bulky figure. Simple brown-themed costume with maybe occasional black, no cape, generic mask.

There ya go. U U'

-

-

Moving onto the Alcoholic family:

-Vodka and Whiskey, the twins.

-Rum, the mother.

-The Jade Pretzel, the father. [And a british dramatic variant of Jade from A Second's Tale.]

-

-

The twins are the thin, wiry sort.

If anyone is familiar with this Junkrat and Roadhog animation for Overwatch:

Junkrat's build is similar to how the twins are. Actually the hair too, a bit, now that I think about it.

It sticks up and outward a little more for Whiskey; the younger of the twins. 

Take creative liberties with the costumes, honestly. 

All I know is that Whiskey is more greener themed, because his abilities are relatable to the nausea effect in Minecraft.

Vodka is more like...

Pinky browny? 

[*more digging in my worn and torn cardboard box of hexcodes-*]

#a36c6c

Have at thee-

O vO'

-

Rum is a bit more on the deep purple end of color scheme. With a RUM RED littered about as the complimentary color. She is fairly muscular, and has a stockier build than her sons.

-

Now, uh- The Super Sticks variant of Jade-

I found a stick-figure piccrew and made ST!Jade and SS!Jade respectively- [not 100% accurate, but the vibes are present-]

He has a monocle. Canon. You heard it here folks, I HAD to- 

It's got a gold rim, clear glass. 

It's actually attached to his mask, which is green and gold themed, so the monocle doesn't easily get knocked off if he moves too fast or something.

I will.. describe more of him when I actually complete the chapter where the Ladybug Brothers are battling the Jade Pretzel- 

The fight scene eludes me at the moment, so I keep writing more color gang shenanigans for future chapters instead- And probably a good thing too, since the ending homestretch of Arc One really didn't give our Color Quad the spotlight they deserve, so I'm putting more focus on them in Arc Two~

-

Uhhh, and that's it..?

[*brain buffering-*]

...Do I need to describe Primal/Prime a little bit since at one point she played a villain role-

-

Okay, yeah, why not~ 

:]

Primal is cool. She's got emo vibes, but is browner/tan themed rather than black or something you'd find on an emo-stereotypical design. 

She prefers practical over stylish canonically, but ends up appearing rather well-designed anyway, in the eyes of others.

And her hair alternates from side, over-the-shoulder braids, to long back-ponytails on a whim.

Yes, Vic has a side braid too, but it isn't that long so it sticks out sideways in the back, and doesn't touch the shoulder.

Primal's hair is also a different length. It's aboooout mid-upper chest. :)

And that, I think, is all. 

-

...I really hope I don't immediately remember a villain OC I just forgot to speak of after hitting the Post button-

Thank you for the ask, and I deeply apologize for how long this sat in my Inbox. Fret not, your ask vehemently stared me in the face until I was intimidated enough to gather my notes together and some braincells too-

U U

Have a lovely day~

Edit: Do ignore that gloved hand in my sketch.

...Just ignore that. We all know I can't do hands.

I went powerpuff mitten style purely for some saving grace- XD

[xenosagaepisodeone]

sci-fi harry is not a good anime by any serious metric; it is a very typical low-budget early aughts series that attempted to ride the wave of the dark psychological sci-fi that was popular at the time, but i find myself unwilling to drop it as of yet. every new development has me asking how this series got made- like, what conversations went on during development and how the staff determined what creative decisions would stick. the dialogue is often bad, the characters are shallow, and the progression of the plot isn't realistic or well written at all. and yet! there definitely was some thought put into the overall feel. the color palette is desaturated and the environments are bleak and miserable. the character designs are uncanny and uncomfortable to look at, but uniquely suited for such an awful world. it is slow paced on purpose with a major emphasis placed on conveying feelings of distress and discomfort in it's characters. combined, this presentation is actually serviceable enough for the horror aspects the series has to offer.

also the op is so good. so weirdly good for a no-budget romp like this anime. even if you have no interest in this series, you should absolutely watch the op. i never skip it when i start up a new episode because it elicits a kind of fascination. the series seems like it's built to say something; "alienated teenager gets psychic powers, may or may not be going insane" is a ripe enough premise alone for exploration, but it's been struggling to generate anything of substance over the handful of episodes i have watched. "I wish I was special" is more or less the thesis, and i'm hoping that the series figures out it's identity to properly explore this moving forward. this is less a 'watch sci-fi harry' post and more of a 'you now know sci-fi harry exists' post.

[duckapus]

(So I went on a walk and came up with a great idea for Showtime's ultimate fate at the end of the Wonder Arc, and even though I still have the vast majority of the arc to write I wanted to get this out now so I don't forget it. I'll do my best to not include any spoilers beyond "the good guys win in the end" and "yeah the character heavily implied to be Floyd was definitely Floyd")

As everyone else is celebrating, Duck wanders the battlefield seemingly aimlessly, looking for something, "Come on, with that much personality and determination you must left something behind..."

In a relatively quiet area he sees it; a tiny, malformed, glowing lump of some black-and-pink substance half-buried in the dirt, invisible and intangible to anyone but himself. He picks it up and checks it over, breathing a sigh of relief when he doesn't sense any of the meat moss's power or influence lingering within it, "Well, you've caused quite a bit of grief the last couple weeks."

Floyd overhears him and floats over, eyeing the lump nervously, "Wait, is that..."

"Showtime's soul, yeah."

"Huh. Didn't think she'd have one, considering she was pretty much just where the corruption and Emmy's brain overlapped."

"Yeah, it's definitely a case of just barely managing it. It's horrifically underdeveloped and rotted almost clean through...but not quite irredeemable, now that all the gunk's been cleaned out." despite the gentle smile saying this prompts from him, there's a distinctly unfriendly, possibly vengeful gleam in his eyes.

"Uh, I know you had something to do with Welony coming back. You're not gonna-"

"No! Hell no, I'm not making you guys deal with her after all that!" He did not get his physical form stuck inside a mushroom just to more-or-less reward the bitch that indirectly caused it, "No, I have something much more interesting planned..." Yep. Definitely vengeful.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next thing Showtime knows, she's waking up in what looks like a factory inside a volcano with the world's worst hangover.

"Ohhhh, dying's a bitch." she reaches up and massages the bridge of her beak with one flipper while doing her best to push herself up off the ground with the other.

...Wait.

Beak?

Flippers!?

Headache briefly forgotten, she shoots up (and then nearly topples right back over because it feels like she's on fucking stilts) and looks around frantically for a reflective surface. When she finally finds a big, particularly well-polished exposed gear, she's stunned by what she sees.

There in the makeshift mirror, there stands a bizarre, penguin-like thing held together by comically large stitches, brought up from two feet to three by a pair of long wooden peg-legs, with tiny black bat wings and a fucking fanny pack! The only things left of her old, beautiful self are her color scheme and eyes- mostly pink with a black belly and sclera and blood-red question marks for pupils.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"The proper grammatical structure would be "what the fuck, dood," miss Showtime."

She whirls around to see who the hell just said that, finding an absolute twink of a vampire who clearly has a stick up his ass, and a brown haired teenage girl in an outfit clearly designed to look like a blue version of her current dumpy form leaning casually on a baseball bat like it's a cane.

The girl pipes up, "She's gonna be a hard case, huh boss?"

"You would know, miss "I'll just blindly obey the first person who talks to me and incite a revolution because this is clearly all just a dream and nothing matters"."

"Hey, I got over my denial eventually, didn't I?"

"Yes, and then you strongarmed me into making you a demon and one of my TA's so you could focus on world domination plans with your little sister and wouldn't have to reincarnate or take those remedial lessons you owed me."

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????"

"Ah yes, my apologies. I am the Vampire Lord Valvatorez, Prinny Instructor Extraordinaire!" he poses exactly as dramatically as you'd expect, then makes a sweeping gesture to the girl, "And this is Fuka Kazamatsuri, one of my assistants."

Fuka gives a lazy, two-fingered salute, "Yo."

"And you, miss Showtime, are part of the Netherworld's latest batch of new Prinnies."

"I...don't know what that means."

Fuka takes over the explanation, "Right, you're not from around here so you wouldn't know. Okay, so first off, you are fully aware that you're dead, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, here in our universe, one of four things can happen when you die...well, technically five if you include ghosts. Your average Joe who had a zero-impact life where they didn't cause no major trouble for nobody just gets reincarnated. Especially virtuous souls become Angels, while truly irredeemable ones get flat-out destroyed. And for people like you and me, who've either sinned frequently enough to get noticed or done some truly heinous shit, but still have a chance to do better next time, there's Prinnies.

"As a Prinny, your one goal in afterlife is to atone for your sins so you can...basically pay off your tab. And to atone, you work. You work for whatever Angel or Demon will hire you for whatever pay they're willing to give you doing whatever job they have for you. Once you've worked long enough, hard enough, and feel genuine remorse for all you've done? You get to reincarnate with the Joe Schmoes. Total clean slate, new body, new mind, whole new you." She smirks and pulls an extremely thick scroll with Showtime's name written at the top in flowing script, "And you've built up quite the tab for such a young soul."

Oh. Oh god no.

"Also you explode if someone throws you. It doesn't kill you or anything, but it's not exactly fun," she shrugs, "could be worse, though. I mean, you picked a pretty good Netherworld to spend your damnation in. We've got, like, Unions and shit."

Showtime just barely manages to shake herself out of her near-catatonic state, "And, uh...what does me not saying "dude" have to do with that?"

Val-whatever his name was once again takes the stage, ""A Prinny must always end the final sentence in their current dialogue box with 'dood', that spelling specifically, or else face grave consequences, unless circumstances render it impossible to do so." The first of many lessons you will learn here. As I'm sure you've noticed, a newly created Prinny does not automatically know how to be a Prinny. Your movements, your magic, the behavior expected of you all of these things and more must be taught! And as your assigned Instructor, it is my duty and privilege to ensure that your entry into Prinny society is as smooth and painless as possible, as I do with every damned soul that passes through these halls."

Aaaand there's the catatonia again.

"Now come along, miss Showtime. If my watch is correct, it's nearly time for Orientation, and I will not tolerate tardiness from either of us."

[doorplays]

Door Reviews: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude (2023)

There was a time when I was very much into webcomics. Don’t get me wrong, I still am into them in theory, but I have not had energy to read as voraciously as I did before. I haven’t had time to get into new ones either. I am still fond of them, however, and keep up with a couple webcomics.

It is during my webcomics phase that I discovered the works of ggdg. I found myself reading Cucumber Quest and enjoyed it a lot! When the comic went on indefinite hiatus, I kind of lost track of what they were up to, though I have faint memories of reading Lady of the Shard.

Years later, a friend of mine told me about this game. When they linked it, I realized that wait, this is from ggdg! And the memories came flooding back. It made me so excited to play this game. Well, now I have! I’m excited to talk about it :)

What’s it about?

“Soul of Sovereignty is a tale of deadly kindness and selfish virtue in a world of magic and ruin,” says the game’s itch.io page. It is a visual novel about two souls whose fates become intertwined. They go on a journey that will be of more importance than they would expect.

It should be noted that this game is just a prelude to the whole story. Not all of the questions you will find yourself asking will end up being answered here. Also! I’ll just call it SoulSov from this point on because that’s shorter lmao

STYLE (Gameplay, Graphics, Music)

SoulSov is a visual novel. It shows background art with characters in the foreground, displaying text to tell the story itself. As far as gameplay goes, it is pretty simple… but I think ggdg does some subtle things here. The layout, the way the movement of the text flows with the art, there’s a few things that help with the conveyance of the story itself. I don’t really know how common it is in the genre, as I haven’t played enough visual novels, but I appreciate these small things.

The art is beautiful. Downright ethereal at some points even! I loved seeing the old yet homey inn and the snowy woods. I loved seeing these wonderfully designed characters. They look so solid, yet soft at times.

The music, I find, is pretty good and apt. It’s nice and gentle in some places, and intense when it needs to be. The sound design is also good, shifts in the snow can be heard, creaking floorboards, the howling of the wind.

The UI is good. I like how there’s a History tab so that I can easily backtrack when I feel like I missed some words. I also like how there’s a Cast section so I can easily see descriptions of the characters. I like that the Glossary section is an external way to provide more lore to the world.

Overall, I definitely like the style of this game. Beautiful art, wonderful prose, it all combines well and lets me experience a story in a nice way.

SUBSTANCE (Story, Characters, Impact)

I loved the story. I loved how the world unfolded before me, from a cold, sleepy hamlet to a sprawling empire of a city. I loved seeing all the characters, their quirks, how they interacted with each other. Most of all, I loved how the worldbuilding revealed itself. The importance of flowers, the history of certain sites, the pantheon of the world… ggdg discusses just enough to paint a picture but leaves out enough to make me want to know more.

The story takes its time. It wants you to feel the weight of each sentence, to understand each brushstroke of a painting. ggdg makes sure that each click of the mouse moves the story in an efficient and economical way, which makes for a tight story that still expresses itself well.

I have not played much graphic novels, but what I find interesting is how you can “turn the page” so to speak. When I say turn the page, I talk of how certain forms of media dictate the flow of stories. With books, you turn the page. With comics, you go from panel to panel and turn the page. With film, you frame the story with your camera and dictate the very story itself with what you choose to record with it. With games? It’s different with each genre. But for this game, each click of the mouse (or press of the spacebar) turns the page. At some points, turning the page here means it reveals each sentence when you’re ready, showing accompanying art and changes in character sprites. At other points, it reveals each block of text, revealing changes in background and introducing new areas. While describing it this way feels a bit granular, it didn’t feel too slow when I moved through the story. And I think this approach makes the important moments hit better.

Overall, the story fucks. I enjoyed it a lot!

VERDICT

I haven’t played enough graphic novels to judge this as a graphic novel, but as a game I enjoyed SoulSov immensely. The art is great. The story is great. I’m excited to experience more installments of this game and find out more about this world! I am glad to have this game be the first game I finished in 2024. I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone!

Door Rates Soul of Sovereignty Prelude: 5/5!

[katyspersonal]

Ok so 1,3,4 and 8!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

1) the character fandom got right

Hmmmm.... Well, I can definitely praise the complete and total absence of bad Eileen takes! x) There are a few characters that are close, but I think she is the champion here. When I try to think of the takes that are overly-simplified or missing a mark or something - absolutely NOTHING comes to mind. Not a single weird take, not a single interpretation that went wrong, not a single design that looks bad... I cannot even quite count fanart of her as young because lore does imply that she's been around for a long time (the Crowfeather Garb, that was trademark of Hunters of Hunters, ended up particularly being associated with her)- Like, unless she is pictured during game's events, it is okay! I suppose badass crow grandma is something all of the humanity can inherently agree on xD

3) screenshot or description of the best take you've seen on tumblr

Ahhhh, shit, that's a hard one. I will permit sending this question multiple times, because I have several I can think of! For now, I'd say it is the idea that it was not Gascoigne that killed Viola, but either those were the huntsmen ( x ) or even it was a plan crafted by Bloody Crow ( x )!

I know this is minor, but I like how nuanced it gets.. As appealing as the tragedy of 'look what this darn blood does, bro ended up killing his WIFE!' is, I am willing to sacrifice this for both message of chaos of mob mentality or crafting a more intricate and deep story in both of which Gascoigne was driven not by hubris of man but by wrath over LOSING Viola! A point could be made on how it is """less logical""", but I just love when people see Gascoigne.. well, like this? Like yes, let's have one more morally good character! 🙏

4) what was the last straw that made you finally follow that person you saw around but never followed?

Honestly? Simply noticing their likes and even comments under my posts, both fandom ones and even personal ones. I just warmed up and checked their blog, and followed back. I wasn't even realise that they've been following me already until I saw the 'mutuals' symbol! x) Like... okaaaaay, I see you are very nice, and we often agree on our ER opinions, ok! Not to mention being one of the people that supported me through uh..... complicated situation, let's call it that. I think we are getting along as mutuals yet? They probably know who they are, though!

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is right about and should say it

Another reusable question.. I see many people agreeing that Maria and Ludwig were friends, or at least would've gotten along if they were, despite there not really being any canon hook for it besides sharing a boss battle location (and even then, their are somewhat far apart) and they both worked with Healing Church (and even then, he was a hunter and Maria was a caretaker in the Research Lab)? Like, not just 'Gehrman, Maria, Laurence and Ludwig are a group' but more specifically Ludwig and Maria being friends, like standing out this way, you know. Let's be real - whatever is the substance in canon is somewhat weak, we are all just mandella'd to think it is canon, yet this feels so... self-explanatory? But this feels CORRECT! I can't explain it with logic, it is just CORRECT, okay fsdhfhds They are both knightly people that meant well and just wanted to protect humanity from monsters, yet exactly that was their own road to Hell; meanwhile, Gehrman and Laurence feels more 'dark', more like they knew what they were doing and could estimate the risks and the consequences. Maria and Ludwig both were just GOOD at the start of their way, I can picture them getting along in particular! We ALL can!

[incorrect-hanna-barbera-quotes]

Augie Doggie rubbed his eyes, sitting up. His mind was foggy as he was still in the process of slowly waking up.

Where was he?

Last night, he remembered falling asleep in his bed, he was certain of that much. But looking around, this was not his bed, or his room, so what happened?

He was on the floor, in the middle of a large unfamiliar room. Both the walls and floors were made of shiny black marble. The only lights he could see were small strips embedded in the floor dotting the perimeter of the room, thus mostly just illuminating the walls in tall arcs. The ceilings were high, but he wasn't good enough with estimating heights to really tell by how much, just that it was definitely higher than you would see in the average house, that's for sure.

It all would've felt quite fancy, if he were here in more normal circumstances.

Ah, well. Sitting around and pondering wouldn't get him anywhere. Nothing to do but leave!

Augie Doggy stood up and started walking to the door.

What did the door look like? It was right in front of him. Black wood that would be nearly indistinguishable from the walls were it not for a white trim outlining the frame. It was nearly as tall as the ceiling! He could hardly reach the handle, and imagined it would be quite hard to pull open on his own. "I'm not sure I can open this door," he thought.

Thankfully, there was a much smaller door right next to it, so he just went through that one instead.

It's that easy!

Beyond the door was a very long hallway. Stone columns lined the sides, that fancy, detailed sort of column you would see in old, ancient architecture. The grandness of them contrasted with the basic smoothed concrete floor. The outer walls the columns were lined up in front of were mostly glass with light pouring in from both sides. Looks like it was cloudy outside today, everything painted with that sort of dull grayish-blueish tint of a rainy day.

Augie Doggie walked down the hall. It was pretty long, and he couldn't really see the end of it yet. Gosh, these hard stone floors didn't feel great to walk on. Very cold too, especially in this room. The windows must not be doing a very good job of insulating the place. Speaking of the windows, it looked like they were the only source of light in the room. What did these people do when it was nighttime? Just walk forward and pray they don't end up off-track enough to walk right into a column? This place didn't seem very well-designed. They must have spent all the budget on the fancy columns and marble walls in the first room. Maybe that was why there wasn't any furniture either.

Anyway, it looked like he was coming up on the end of the hall, but it was actually just a corner, and when he turned there was more hall, so he kept walking down the hall, still very cold.

How'd he end up here, anyway?

Obviously someone must have taken him here since you don't really just end up in a place like this via natural means, but the who or why was anyone's guess really. If it was someone with malicious intentions, he wasn't sure if he would really take them seriously at this point after inspecting their home decor choices. All style and no substance, and there was barely any style to begin with. These visuals were sort of cool at first but after walking around in them for 20 minutes the effect really starts to wear off.

Well, he had finally reached another corner, and thankfully it looked like it was almost over, because there was another door at the end of this much shorter segment.

This door's frame was just as tall as the first big door, but the door itself was small, and the rest of the vertical space looked really hastily filled in. What a joke! He opened it and went through.

This new room was pretty big, but still smaller than the first one. The floor was carpeted, a grey that was pretty dark but not dark enough to hide some stains in the corner from what seemed like water damage, which was also evident from the coloring of the popcorn ceiling above it. The walls were done in wood paneling and a single rectangular overhead light was embedded in the ceiling. This room didn't look fancy at all, but he got the impression that this was intentional and they were going for a more rough, nostalgic vibe instead so he was willing to let it pass this time (even if he guessed that they had to switch aesthetics fast because they were running out of money.)

On the side of the room opposite to him were two basic wooden doors. Above them was a paper banner - that sort of type you see at birthday parties that say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in individual paper letters all strung together and hung up, but this one instead read "MAKE YOUR CHOICE."

A choice! It appeared that Augie Doggie was finally given a meaningful way to interface with the strange locale he had been dropped into. This was very exciting indeed!

Now, the left door or the right door? He walked up to them and inspected them closely. Then, he just went ahead and opened both of them up at the same time, figuring that there probably wouldn't be any consequences for doing so.

The left door contained a hallway filled with bright light, and the right door contained a hallway shrouded in darkness. Wow, this was a tough decision. The light hallway could be a trick and it was actually the wrong choice and the dark hallway was actually the better one to take, or on the other hand, whoever designed this might not have thought that someone would look at both outcomes first at all and not taken these appearances into account, and thus would not have thought to make it a trick question.

Well, it was a 50/50 chance no matter what, really, and he liked being able to see, so he chose the left door, and stepped into the light.

All of a sudden, Augie Doggie blacked out for a moment.

And then, he found himself outside. He was standing at the bus stop outside his house. For a moment he was worried that he may have missed the school bus since it seemed a little late in the morning, but then he remembered that today would be a Saturday, so it was OK.

He turned around and just walked back to his house. Doggie Daddy greeted him as he stepped inside.

"Well hey, there's my son! What've you been up to out there oh-so-early in the morning?"

"I dunno, dad."

"Well, there's some pancakes waitin' on the table if you're hungry!"

"OK, dad."

Augie Doggie ate some pancakes and had a pretty good day.

[capyquest-logs]

DFX352 | Post 3

Time for an update already? Yup! Here we go!

As a brief reminder, I have completed the environment for this project, including rock assets, landscape pieces, grass, flowers, and 3D capybara models with cel shading.

Since my last DFX post a few weeks ago, here's a list of what I've gotten done:

Finished water and waterfall materials

Modeled all capybara character accessories

Rigged both capybara models

Modeled and rigged player character model

Worked on animations (almost complete)

Updated UE5 default player character model to my own

Started creating a base capybara actor

Added head tracking for capybara actor

Water and waterfall

I knew ahead of time that I wouldn't have the knowledge or time to create a water texture on my own (at least, not completely). So, the main bodies of water use a material created by Your Sandbox on YouTube.

I did, however, have to make my own material for the waterfall and splash. For the waterfall, I essentially overlapped a bunch of panning alpha textures at different opacities and speeds to simulate fast, chaotic, running water.

The splash was a similar idea. Lots of overlapped panning textures. Since the goal was chaos, I didn't have to make it look 'spectacular'. It's fast and crazy, so it works well. I just applied this material to a very flat disc and placed it right where the waterfall hits the water.

And the final result:

Capybara accessories

Nothing too exciting here, I just wanted some of the capybaras to have distinguishing features, so I gave them some accessories (6 in total). From left to right, top to bottom, we have a propeller hat, a wizard hat, a top hat, a tangerine, a straw hat, and a flower.

Capybara rigs

Rigging was pretty straightforward, and yet I had a lot of trouble with it. I'm relatively new to rigging, so it definitely took a few tries to get it right! Fortunately, I could use the same skeleton for both capybara models, so not only did rigging take half the time it may have, but they can share animations, which was a HUGE time-saver later on.

I also did weight painting, as seen above. Overall, rigging went very well.

Player character model

I'll admit, I'm not great at character design, but my sister is a natural at it. So, I commissioned her to make three character designs with turnarounds, and I requested for her to keep it simple. Well, she delivered! And they turned out great!

We both decided the third design with the scarf was the best one. I love the fantasy-adjacent design, and its uniqueness. So, I got started modeling in Maya. Then I brought it into Blender to unwrap the UVs for texturing (because, as much as I love Maya, I really think Blender's UV unwrapping is much easier and more comprehensive than Maya's. But that's just me!) Also, not to brag, but look how cleanly it unwrapped! I think the UVs are just so satisfying to look at.

I did choose some less-than-ideal seams to unwrap along (ex. the underskirt being split right down the front center), but since the design is mostly just solid colors, it didn't really matter in the end. I promise that for more complex texturing, I put more time and care into it.

Anyways, I brought it into Substance Painter to get the base color. In-game, I used the same material as the capybaras to texture her, and just swapped out the base color parameter with her color map.

Anyways, I just rigged her like usual. I did put in an extra bone for her cowlick, and created an IK handle for the scarf for easier animating.

And here she is in-game with her capy friend :)

Animation

Animation was very straight-forward. Due to Tumblr's limit on the number of pictures/gifs you can have in a post, I can't share all of the playblasts. But, here's a link to my weekly goals post where I shared them! I have about 8 animations to finish, but I've got a good enough start that I'm only a little behind (and I'm actually ahead in other parts of the project). Each animation is short, and the models are simple, so it's quick work. I don't hate animating, it can be fun, but it's not my favorite part of the process. So, it can be hard to sit down and get them all done in a short amount of time. They're turning out great, though! I'm just churning them out a bit slower than I was hoping for.

I do have to redo the player character jumping animation as well. The jump animation I made is cute, but there's a wind-up before she actually starts the jump, which is torturous to experience in-game. I was pissing myself off while testing the mechanics.

UE5 Basics (and Head Tracking)

So, I put my character in-game, and aside from the jumping issue, it's working great! The walking and running animations look really good! I set the running mode to be a left-shift toggle, since I predict most people would want to run around the map quickly. I wouldn't blame them, the map isn't huge but it's still time-consuming to just walk everywhere. And with a toggle, you don't have to hold left-shift down. Just pressing it once makes you run.

Oh, and for those interested, here's the annoying jump animation code I had to come up with, and have now abandoned. The animation wind-up starts from a standing position, so I would have to disable player input and stop movement, and manually do a bunch of coding that was really glitchy and annoying.

Anyways, moving on to the capybaras! I knew what I wanted their behavior to be like. When out of range, every few seconds a random animation would play: Stretch, look left and right, look down and back up, and walk a short distance. This was so that they're not just standing around like statues, waiting for you to come up to them and interact. That would be really soulless and, frankly, underwhelming. I'm still working on this system.

When you get close to them, I wanted them to stop randomizing movements, and use tracking to have their heads follow the player. This was easy, since there's already a LookAt node in UE5. So, I set up a collision sphere, so when the player is within this sphere, it activates head tracking. The blueprints include getting the player's position, setting the collision actions, and activating the LookAt node in the Locomotion blueprint.

Getting player position:

Collision enter and exit:

Animation state (Locomotion) conditions:

LookAt node:

There was an issue, though. Every time I started playtesting the game, the collision was automatically activated at the very start of the game. I'm not certain why, but my theory is that, for some reason, the capybara itself was activating the enter overlap condition at game start. Which is strange.

So, as a sort of band-aid solution, I wrote out a bit of code at game start to immediately set the IsLookingAtPlayer variable back to false, and that did the trick.

Sorry if this post has a lot of unneeded information. I got carried away near the end. I'm just so excited that this project is coming together so nicely! I'm also very proud of myself for staying relatively on-schedule and creating something special. Anyways, back to work!

[tonytylerdraws]

August Newsletter - Artist of Nothing 002

So far this month

Brushes

I’m still in the process of finalizing the design of the image, but I want to share Ibis Paint custom brushes. A lot art tutorials and resources lean heavily into Procreate and Clip Studio Paint; not too many focus on Ibis Paint X, which is the drawing app I use. So, in addition to brushes, I hope I can also share tutorials as well.

Worked on Website

I worked a bit on my website, which has been up and running for awhile now. I am one of those people who can never stick with a single design. I think my old Synaptic Misfiring website went through 5 redesigns, and I barely drew that webcomic for 5 years.

Art I’ve done

I finished pieces of art, all in Ibis Paint. The pixel art was inspired by Pokémon and the work of Brandon James Greer.

July Recap

Took a social media break

About mid-July I was realizing that I wasn’t really spending work on a lot of the stuff I had wanted to. And in fact, most of 2024 I hadn’t spent working on things. I thought it was The Funk (which it was) but I was also spending a lot of time on social media. And with social media being as broken as it is nowadays, I was putting more hours in to get the same sort of enjoyment that I was getting back in 2019.

So I deleted apps off my phone and just…existed. I didn’t try to force myself draw or work on art, or get into a productivity fugue state. I really put a lot of thought into how I was using social media, both in my personal life and with my semi-pro art life.

A lot of my social media use was due to habit; I would go to Tumblr, then Instagram, and then back to Tumblr, etc. None of it was fulfilling. None of it gave me anything of substance. I can’t tell you any of the posts I’ve actually liked. Or why I follow an artist. I just did things.

And this lead me to look how I was using social media for my art. I wasn’t getting engagement, whether it was comments, shares or likes. So why was I making art FOR social media. Why was I making a piece of art specifically for Instagram if it wasn’t going to perform well? Why appease an algorithm that doesn’t care about me.

So I ended up changing my whole approach not to just social media, but also my art life. It’s about making art first, and then making content from that art, rather than making art as content. It’s the difference between recording myself drawing and making a short form video instead of recording myself making art specifically from a short video.

It also means I don’t need to worry about posting 5 days a week in order to get engagement. Social media is broken, so why try and use it as a central part of my workflow

I’m hoping that this will help me feel better not just about making art, but also sharing it through social media.

Rest of August

Exploring other platforms

I’m looking at Cara, Telegram, Snapchat and other non-algorithmic platforms, while at the same time not being platform-dependent. Platforms aren’t safe anymore; look what happened to Patreon in the last few days.

Store

I’m in the process of finalizing my products. All print-on-demand for now, and starting small. I definitely will be trying some digital downloads.

Find me elsewhere on the web, including Substack! See you next month.

[mariestudio]

Heyyy! Just wanted to say that sorry for inactivity 💔 School is killing me XD (Help) But uhhh ye, I’m still working on the horror ARG, I just need time xd. But anyways, I’m also working on other things, such as these writing pieces I’ll start posting on here (and also art :v) of the ocs I made with my bf, @smolsnek09, so if u want to read the oc lore then you’re on the right place!!

Now, I’ll shut up and let u read XDD

——————————————————————————

Your Time To Shine! Or Maybe Not.

It all happened at the grand ball. The company organized that whole event for one reason, introducing the new models of mechas to the world, or at least, to the ones who were allowed to witness it. They had to make it look like they were just a normal tech company and nothing more…

The musicians then started playing classical music around the place, it echoed through the halls. It was nice music, they enjoyed it. Everyone was there, the CEO, the evil vers, the rest of the people that had something to do with this, the new models, everyone. This kind of events didn’t happen much, but they were quite fun to be at, if the company liked you, that is. If they didn’t, they either didn’t invite you or made sure you wouldn’t assist any of the following ones.

But there was something that everyone had in common…and it was that nobody in the castle knew that the heroes were there too! They had gone undercover.

The music then got quiet as the CEO started to speak. He cleared his throat and then gave his speech.

“Good evening, everyone. We’re all here gathered today because of our new creations! The new models are called “N0 L1M1TS”. Why that name, you may be asking? Well, they’re called that because they’re unstoppable! They’re equipped with our latest gear and technology.” - He said proudly. People started cheering and clapping as they saw how the models looked like.

The first one was a yellow cyborg, it had a bow and an arrow, what was special with this one was that their arrows could be equipped with various substances and they could also multiply. Its attack speed would make sure nothing came in their way.

The second one had an aquamarine color. This one wasn’t a cyborg, it was a robot. This one included a chainsaw that could cut throw any strong material. It had the power to oneshot someone if the target was cough off guard.

The third one wasn’t a mecha nor a cyborg, they were just a test subject for the new equipment. They were displaying a flame thrower, this flame thrower didn’t only burn, but it disintegrated everything it burned without even leaving ashes as evidence. It was a great weapon.

Everyone looked at the new models, their mouths wide open, the enhanced gear would definitely be able to win battles. Everyone had their own enemies. This was surely a moment to celebrate. The CEO then finished his speech and went to the underground levels. Nobody saw him going there, not even the hero on the upper level.

The CEO felt like something was wrong, he thought he had heard something on the underground levels of the factory. He decided to go check on it. He thought that perhaps it could have just been the patrol mechas, but he then realized that they were designed to make as little noise as possible.

He quickly went down the elevator. Once he was in the underground level, he checked every spot, but he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He sighed and went to his office. He went inside and sat down on his chair, grabbing his coffee and drinking it.

Meanwhile, GR33NH34RTZ was trying to access the office, completely unaware of who was inside of it. The CEO then heard someone calling him through the phone, it was one of the new models.

“What?! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” - The CEO answered the phone angrily.

“Sorry, boss. But there’s something going on in here! Some patrol mechas have reported gear missing! They haven’t found the culprit yet!” - The one with a chainsaw said, clearly nervous about his boss’s tone.

“What?!” - he sighed frustratingly, “You know what? Stay where you are with the rest, I think I know who the culprit is. Be prepared.” - He finished.

“Understood, boss.” - He said and went to tell the other models.

The CEO had an idea on who the culprit could be, he could hear a door trying to be opened, so, as the gentleman he is, he didn’t want to keep the guest waiting, so he opened the door.

He saw exactly who he thought would be the responsible for the missing stuff. He saw her grabbing the map, but he didn’t say anything. He was waiting for the best time to attack.

He saw her being about to get out of the room. It was time. He pulled a lever and the door closed, making her jump.

“Who’s there!” - She asked.

She then saw him turning around in his chair.

“Well, well, well, didn’t you learn that stealing is bad while you were here?” - He asked with a sinister smile. “Didn’t we teach you all actions have consequences?” - He finished.

“Get away from me! You will not hurt me anymore!” - She exclaimed.

He then stood up and pointed a gun towards her. “Are you sure? I’ll make sure you and the other pest won’t make it out alive.” - He said.

“You will not hurt him! I won’t let you hurt us! You’re despicable. I hate you.” - She said, rage building up inside her.

“Die.” - He said while firing the gun. He then saw he managed to dodge the bullet, along with the following ones. He pressed a button to warn everyone in the place as he saw her leaving the place.

“S3r-P3nt! We have to get out of here! He knows we’re here! Everyone does!” - She yelled through the Walkie Talkie as she went to the upper level as fast as she could.

“I’m taking care of it! But there’s too many! Get ready for battle!” - He said while shooting enemies.

She reached the upper level, she saw everyone fighting, including their evil versions and the new models. She immediately joined S3r-p3nt. They then started attacking together, along with their pets.

The CEO then took this as an opportunity. “Attack!” - He yelled at the new models. This was their time to shine.

The new models then saw the place falling apart as explosions could be heard, blood could be seen in big quantities, and people were trying to escape. They didn’t waste anymore time and started attacking the heroes, just how their boss had told them to do.

“You’re dying here!” - 3ye5 yelled at S3r-P3nt while attacking with his gear.

“That’s what you always say!” - He yelled back as he hit him first.

It was the typical fight with the evil versions, until…They were taken by surprise! The new models attacked them from behind! They grabbed them by the arms, restraining them. The evil versions then landed a kick on their faces.

“So that’s what we always say, huh? Maybe it’ll become true tonight then.” - H4unTedDoll said while laughing.

GR33NH34RTZ then felt an arrow slightly pierce her cheek, it was one of the new model’s weapon. She immediately started moving around, trying to break free from the restraint she was currently in.

S3r-P3nt then felt something incredibly hot next to him. It was fire. It was from the other new model.

“I wouldn’t try that if I were you, GR33NH34RTZ.” - H4unTedDoll said while tightening her grip on the restraint. “Move and he dies, you choose.” - She continued while smiling at her.

“You little-“ - She cut her off. “Shut your mouth, will you? As you can see, everyone is ready to end you. You two have gained quite some enemies.” - She said in a teasing tone.

They then noticed that their pets were missing. They looked at each other and noticed something, their pets had electrocuted everyone!

“Are you sure about that? Because from what we’re seeing, you’re about to become a broken doll.” - S3r-P3nt said.

“Huh? What are yo- AH!” - She was then hit by the heroes’ pets, she immediately fell to the floor, freeing her from her restraint. They did the same with 3ye5 before he could do something. Our heroes are now back into the battlefield.

They threw bombs, attacks, the new models used their equipment at full power. Punching, kicking, slapping, broken glass, and explosions could be heard and seen all over the place, the heroes were winning this battle. The new models were on the floor. Their bow and arrows’ speed was nothing compared to S3r-P3nt’s speed with his new equipment, he changed it during battle to enhance his abilities. The fire could do nothing against the pets and their water powers. It also didn’t help that the one with a chainsaw…let’s just say that it didn’t last much.

“This place is about to explode!” - GR33NH34RTZ and S3r-P3nt celebrated.

“Not if we beat you first!” - The new models yelled. “This battle is now between you two and us. You think you can come here and steal our spotlight? Nonsense! Die!” - They said as they attacked them, their rage was immeasurable.

“Get off me!” - GR33NH34RTZ said furiously. She was fighting with both the guy with a half-functioning chainsaw and the one with the flame thrower. She had several cuts from the chainsaw, but she wouldn’t leave S3r-P3nt to fight alone.

“You know, GR33NH34RTZ? What if we throw our final attack? You know, the kaboom one?” - S3r-P3nt asked her.

“You never have bad ideas, let’s do this!” - She said with determination as they then jumped while grabbing their pets. GR33NH34RTZ then threw a bomb, Pipe and Jelly using their abilities to charge it, then S3r-P3nt using one of the artifacts to enhance its power.

“Lights! Camera! Action!” - They yelled together as the final attack blew the entire place up, they then jumped through the window and used an umbrella as a parachute.

The rest of the people evacuated the place. The evil versions fell to the ground after the impact of the explosion, the same thing happened with the new models. Maybe it hadn’t been their time to shine. They all saw their good versions disappearing behind the castle while cheering and smiling. This first mission had been a complete failure. Everyone left, including the evil versions.

The evil versions didn’t worry as much considering they hadn’t equipped much gear because of the kind of event it was. This caught everyone off guard. The ones who were left were some of the patrolling mechas and the CEO, along with the new models.

“Boss, our most sincere apologies, but we couldn’t defeat them. This took us all surpri-“ - One of them couldn’t finish their sentence, the CEO grabbed them by the collar of their shirt.

“Mechas! Restrain them!” - The CEO yelled as the mechas then confiscated their gear and grabbed them. They were now unable to move.

“Wait! What are you doing?!” - One of them asked, panicking.

“I’m doing what has to be done to failures like you three!” - He yelled as he slapped their face. “This was an event to showcase what our new inventions could do, and you have the audacity to fail when the opportunity for you to shine is right in front of you!? Do you know how bad this is for the company?! Reconstructing this place will take thousands of dollars, including the labs those pests left in shambles! Mechas, take them away! Make sure they receive what they deserve!” - He couldn’t stop yelling, he was furious. The thought of the company’s reputation being damaged sent shivers down his spine, he had to make sure they understood that they couldn’t fail. “Make sure they understand what happens if they fail…” - He finished with a sinister grin.

The of them were speechless. They were shaking and didn’t even want to think about what they were about to go through. They were then dragged all the way to the labs that hadn’t been damaged in a different location. They were thrown and locked up in a room. It was a dark room, the only source of light it had was a flickering light on the ceiling. It didn’t have any furniture, aside from three surgical beds and some weapons. It didn’t look good.

They were terrified by now. They didn’t have their gear with them anymore since it had been all confiscated earlier. They were left defenseless. Some other mechas and lab workers came into the room. They then chained them down to the surgical beds. They tried to free themselves, but the grip of the chains was too strong. They couldn’t avoid the inevitable.

The only thing they saw was how the mechas and lab workers then started beating them. It only added to the pain of the already bleeding wounds from the fight back at the palace. The hits hurt and made their bodies ache with pain. They made the room suddenly turn to an extremely cold temperature. This made their bodies shake, making them feel weak. Insults could be heard coming from everyone’s mouths in the room, along with the new model’s own screaming. The lab workers also used this opportunity to test new weapons on them, one of them being a taser, but this wasn’t any normal taser, this taser was like a leech, just sink it into the skin and watch your enemy suffer.

And they did exactly that…

The pain went on for hours, making them lose their consciousness eventually. When they woke up again, the CEO was the first thing they saw. There was blood in his uniform and he was holding a knife. Pain immediately went rushing through the models’ bodies as they regained consciousness. They feared that he would do something else to them.

“Good morning, sleeping beauties. It’s been two days.” - He said with a laugh. They looked at him terrified.

“Don’t give me that look. I’m not going to hurt you, the others were in charge of that” - He said with a serious tone, then smiled on that last part. “Help them up.” - He then said to the mechas before turning his head back to them. “Did you learn your lesson, dears? - He said with a soft voice.

“Yeah! W-we did! Please…we won’t do it again. We’re so sorry.” - They pleaded, coughing up blood.

“Oh my, don’t worry.” - He lifted their head up. “The medical bay is waiting for you three, repairs and healing.” - He said. He then pushed the model back to the ground, getting a soft sob out of them.

“Don’t look at me like that, this is you guy’s fault, after all. Now go, I don’t have all day.” - He finished saying, and with that, he left.

The rest of the mechas helped them up and took them to the medical bay. It was going to be a long day. They couldn’t fail again, or this would keep happening. For now, they were just gonna focus on the rest of their day and wait until they got their gear back…

——————————————————————————

I hope you enjoyed reading this :] Tips r always welcomed!!

[technoturian]

Okay, well, I watched Ahsoka.

I didn't have much investment in the plotline, as someone who DID watch Rebels but didn't enjoy it, I can't imagine how it was for people who never even watched Rebels. If you don't know or care about Ezra, Hera, Thrawn, the dathomir witches, etc, the Ahsoka show doesn't give you much reason to nor does it bother with more than a cursory explanation. Thrawn is especially a problem because they're setting him up like some SW Thanos and there was absolutely nothing about him that wasn't every other Imperial officer angling for succession. At least Gideon has his silly, narcissistic darktrooper obsession to make him stand out. Thrawn's just a chilly British guy who says "for the Empire" a lot. Groundbreaking.

Sabine was one of the few parts of Rebels that really stood out to me and they flattened her so much. Where's the artist? Where's the tech genius that was making superweapons in her early teens? How does it take until the last episode or so to talk about Mandalore? Her plot with Ahsoka happened so much off-screen that it lacked emotional punch. The only really exciting part of her storyline was when she chose to go with the enemy, and I was disappointed with how little conflict resulted from that. I loved that they went there at least, very unexpected considering Rebels' goodie-goodie "every episode must end with a heavy-handed moral lesson" thing that drove me up the wall.

As for Ahsoka herself... She felt like a generic jedi character for most of her screentime. That said, the visions of Anakin were some of the only stuff that landed emotionally for me and were definitely the highlight.

Ezra's actor did an amazing job, especially since I found Ezra to be a bit obnoxious in the cartoon and I found him so likable in Ahsoka, while still being very recognizable as the same character. The problem is the whole plot of finding him relies so heavily on the relationships and storylines built in a different show. I kept wondering how people who hadn't seen Rebels felt about this guy who has no backstory showing up with such obvious "main character" energy being put into him.

Also just an aside, wish they'd left out the contact lenses. It's not worth messing up the actors' eyelines and focus to match a cartoon character's eye color, I'm sorry but it's just not. Actually I feel like this is indicative of this whole experience: It was so important that all of the most minute details from Rebels made it in unchanged, regardless of how it hampered the show we were watching.

The only original -- at least, in that it didn't require investment in Rebels or Clone Wars -- idea this show presented that I was really invested in were the fallen jedi duo, who seemed full of potential... Until they ended up leading into a tease for the Mortis Gods, which is a plot I have less than zero interest in.

The show really just felt very flat, but in the exact opposite way The Book of Boba Fett was. TBoBF was all style and no substance, it didn't give me anything to care about. Ahsoka had a lot of substance and a lot of lore and just... a lot... happening, but it expected me to already care about it and skipped the part where it gave me a reason to.

If you're a Rebels fan you probably enjoyed it. (Maybe? I haven't really looked at reviews.) Which would make sense, because it was just a new half-season of the cartoon that inexplicably was made live action for no other reason than because these characters need to get some buy-in from the general audience before they show up in a team-up movie with the Mandalorian characters. I don't believe it makes a convincing argument for that buy-in.

PS: Also just as a KOTOR fan, the continued disrespect on the HK designation is intolerable. Justice for HK-47 and death to those personality-less pretenders.

[samsaraandbeyond]

OC Introduction: Geyton

Art by TehSquishyRay (NSFW)

The Mad(?) Artist's Perfect Creation.

Design

King Ray, Art  / Character owned by TehSquishyRay (NSFW)

I was obsessed with King Ray's design and Ray was kind enough to give me my own little version of it. Since he already did this for me once before, I felt obligated to make the characters connected in some way.

Abilities / Traits

The Living Paint

Artist Ability (Kirby)

The “Paint-like Substance” that Demonte’s body emits has unusual, and at times, unpredictable properties. A lava drawing gained the properties of actual lava, a puddle of paint was used as a makeshift portal to elsewhere, and a self-portrait that emerged from its canvas to live-

Wait, that was Geyton, who had inherited this ability as well. Since Geyton sees himself as the "perfect" creation, he frequently use this ability to alter his physical form or for personal benefits rather than creating creatures that come to life. If his fist isn't big enough to punch a whole through your wall, it will be soon.

Geyton is still an artist like his creator. Contrasting Demonte's all-rounded preferences, he would rather focus on paintings featuring himself in some capacity. He will begrudgingly draw outside of that interest for a client if necessary.

"There's always enough of me to go around!" - Geyton

Personality

woo lordy Geyton has an ego

Speaks highly of himself, makes up excuses when he fails, and most of his acts of kindness are begrudgingly done because he hears Demonte's voice in his head urging him to perform them (whether or not that is truly Demonte's guidance or Geyton's imagination is up for debate). Geyton's ego isn't covering up an insecure soft side; only someone that is confused on how their way of thinking about things could possibly be wrong.

“I simply don't get how you don't see things the way I do. I, am perfect. Are we getting our definitions mixed up?" - Geyton

Backstory

Demonte had the urge to paint a picture of himself one day. Deciding to use alternative colors, he went to work. The poncho had a different look, the eyes were filled in, the tail had a notch, and he had used too much paint for the main body.

Satisfactory result. He named this work of art "Geyton".

Demonte hung the painting up on the wall and stepped back to examine it. Like many other things he had created, this painting came to life and pulled itself from its framed canvas. Geyton, noticing the similarities between himself and his creator, deemed himself Demonte's "perfect creation" and wanted the attention and admiration that he felt he (and by extension, Demonte, for creating him) deserved.

He didn't get it.

Demonte didn't hold Geyton above any of his previous creations simply because they resembled each other. He also didn't think he nor Geyton were perfect in any way. This upset and confused Geyton, causing him to storm off in a fit of rage.

Geyton now spends his days attempting to see things through Demonte's point of view, all while...trying to prove it wrong by getting himself into various misadventures to prove both he and Demonte are literally perfect in every sense of the word.

Quite the inner conflict.

"I am Demonte's greatest creation! One day; he will see it!" - Geyton

[auggie-beaniessssss]

Cancelled Episode 14 "Get in the way"

"Yo mama so stupid, when someone ask her what is two plus two, she say KFC Elon Musk!"

-yo mama jokes series

"Ok ok, all's well that doesn't implode on my heart causing fatal tissue damage but...what was that black substance you absorbed from my body? Was it my Kineticore?" Who cares if I just escaped death and had a near-death encounter, I NEED ANSWERS!

The girl opens her mouth and prepares to suck in air to talk before immediately stopping her breathing and hesitating. Yes, girl, whatever you say, you're still gonna get killed.

She gave the answer after a while, and she definitely made sure to say it a careful tone, "...yes,"

WELL. THAT'S. JUST. DELIGHTFUL.

"Wait, does that mean I can't..." I clench my fists and gather all my willpower to try and summon even the last strand of light...nothing. Instead, my hand just fizzes out with smoke like a campfire that had just been put out.

!!

"You..." I take a deep breath and inhale all that air in first, then exhale it out to calm myself down. Don't be mad, don't be mad...this Kineticore was going to kill you anyway...

Ah, right. Now on to the burning question of purpose.

"You say the Kineticore was designed by the Dragon Lord so he could spy on us, and kill us if necessary, so...what exactly did I do that warranted a kill?" I questioned our oh-so knowledgeable Queen of Kineticore Knowledge right here.

"Well, I really have no idea," She shrugs and responds, shaking her head dismissively.

"...The Dragon Lord. Kineticores. Wait. Um," Erik muttered to himself in deep thought, then proceeded to search his bag for a specific item he needed.

He pulled out the sacred inscription I had retrieved the first day I met Nemean. "Do you know anything about this?" He also proceeded to empty this portable Knowledge Capsule and suck it dry of information.

"This is the inscription detailing the Dragon Lord's wars and fights to become the lord of all...we needed this to get information," Erik explains further.

"Yep, that is the inscription, all right," The girl confirms it with a nod of her head.

Oh ok.

"Wait a second now...how do you even know all this?" Disparage is now questioning her in a fashion that doesn't exactly praise her wisdom.

"I was banished from my village for discovering secrets of the Dragon Lord, and it didn't help that I was already stigmatised against for being a half-blood, and you're really questioning my information source right now?" Right right right, the powerful Dragon Lord, lord of all creatures that roam the land, and still can't solve simple bullying problems.

"Well, we can't exactly tell if you can be trusted, can we, now?" Snowball smirks away at the back, hands crossed, arrogant smirk on his face.

"Speak for yourself, MOONSHADOW ELF!" And at that exact moment her eyes went full-on beast mode, glaring at Snowball with such force one might think she'd start shooting daggers out of them.

Snowball retreated back and put his hands up in the air, then did that "I told you so" face without the "I told you so" element in it, lamenting, "I'm innocent, Your Honour!"

"AND YOU. AND YOU." The girl fixes her glare onto Disparage and Nemean instead now.

The boys look at each other now with a confused expression.

"Well, it's obvious with you," She creaks her head towards Nemean. "You're another Moonshadow Elf,"

"You got me," Nemean shrugs his shoulders at that. I SWEAR TO GOD ERIK BETTER NOT BE ONE TOO-

"AND YOU NOW. You have the essence of a legendary Tengu warrior I used to know, yet you seem awfully human...what are you?"

"Oh, oh..ohoh, ho, ho, that...uh...well...one day I was out and this Tengu guy was...dying...so I offered to...host him...and in return...he gives me his powers! Yeah yeah yeah!" Disparage chokes out a few sputtered, stammered words.

Clearly someone didn't bother to prepare a convincing enough excuse first.

"Well, enough questions about us, what's with the fox? Also that weird hand of yours," Erik, who is now playing and cuddling with the fox, posed the question.

"The fox...is my ancestor, in the form of a fox to avoid being recognised, because...she also got banished for discovering Kineticore secret, ehehehe," The girl laughed away, attempting to direct the attention onto something else. Fishy.

Seeing as everyone's attention is still definitely focused on her and the fox, she just sighed and continued.

"Well, the hand was found by my ancestor back when she was...n't a fox yet, and still able to take human form, she found it on one of her wandering travels and adventures in the woods, in some distant treasure trove, she took it and left, then she found me, and apparently she wasn't able to resonate with it but I was; the moment I touched it, it fused with my hand and became what it is now, giving me incredible powers at the same time," The girl explained.

"I'm really not sure what it is, and why it has such an ominous aura, but I keep getting the feeling like this black substance is really powerful, and that this hand once belonged to a powerful second-in command general...I don't know why that's so specific, but that's just the vibe it gives me," Fox girl continued.

"By the way, how should I address you all?" She announced-asked.

"Disparage,"

"Nemean,"

"Snowball,"

"You can call me Erik, pretty sure even my own disciples do so secretly *casts side-eye at me*"

"...Alex," I hesitate before revealing my name.

"Well, I'm Hydrogenium," She reveals too. "You all trust me enough to reveal your true names?"

"Well, you know enough to know that those are our true names, so what's the point of hiding from you?" Snowball shoots down Hydrogenium's question using the power of basic logical common sense.

"Well, trust here is a good thing, we both share a common goal after all," She then continues her statement no one asked for.

"Wait, we are?" Erik queries with that puzzled look.

"I know ya'll are here to lock me up, but since one of your beloved here just suffered and I saved her, don't you think I deserve a bit of a reward?"

"And what do you want?" Snowball asks.

"Not much, it's rare that I get to meet a team with such extraordinary fighting prowess, I'd just like you to help me...rebel against the Dragon Lord,"

At that moment our eyes go wide. This woman is crazy, who would collude with her to rebel against...the DRAGON LORD.

"Alright, I'll do it," Erik announces.

Nemean nods his head in agreement.

Disparage says nothing.

"Come on you guys are insane, she's our target, why are we colluding with her? If we get her, we can just be released and go back to normal life!" I need to knock some reasoning into them.

"Well, Alex, all those missions I asked you to complete...we needed information on the Dragon Lord. So we could rebel against him. And now we have the perfect ally, why wouldn't we?" Erik reveals crucial information on WHY THE HELL I WAS TASKED TO DO ALL THOSE BLOODY TASKS. WELL.

"Fine, I guess, Disparage, you in too?" I just have to go with the flow.

He nods in agreement. Snowball as well.

"Haha, Team Dragon Lord Rebel, go!" Hydrogenium cheers delightfully as the fox scrambles to her side and jumps happily.

"We are NOT calling it that,"

[royalsealy]

10/1/2023 Kei Con Day 3: The Tea Party

Day 3 of Kei Con was dedicated to the Tea Party, we had a bit of a munch beforehand, and it gave us ample time to get ready. Hosted in the same location as the Fashion Show, the area offered creative seating and table options rather than the traditional large tables surrounded by chairs. It also opened on one side to a patio with large wooden gazebos covered in foliage, a very photo-friendly arrangement. I love what the Kei Con staff did for this particular day especially. At check in, attendees were given a slip of paper with the name of a print on it and encouraged to find the other attendee with the same name, in addition to a bingo sheet and instructions for another ice-breaker. I thought this was a great idea, and it gave me lots of ideas for future events with my own local comms. I feel like these types of ice-breakers would have been great to do on Friday as well to encourage more shy attendees to mingle a bit more. I also just love ice breakers though, so maybe this is my bias XP Impressively there were legitimate options for dietary restrictions. Being vegetarian mostly and lactose intolerant, I got the vegan option which consisted of a veggie wrap, a dry chocolate cake thing with sour patches, sour white chocolate with raspberries, and a vegan cookie (this part was very good). I'll say in comparison to Tekko food options- a massive upgrade, but also disappointed in the catering. The non-dietary restriction options were extremely cute and well designed, something you would expect from a tea party especially at this price range, while looking at the dietary inclusive options felt very generic and uninspired. I did hear mixed things about the non-dietary restriction options, some people LOVED it, while other people were not fans at all. An event of this size, it's hard to please all, and at the end of the day I was just happy I could eat something of substance at an event (definitely a win, i dont want to understate this). This also concluded with the raffle of 1,000 petticoats. The sponsorships were amazing, I was genuinely impressed throughout the entire weekend- each panel ended in at least 1 if not 2 giveaways, and the Tea Party itself ended up going over with all of the raffle options. The prizes were also Good (thank you again Tooth Decay for securing such a wonderful bounty!). I ended up winning 1 of the many petticoats donated from 42 Lolita, and very happy to announce that it has a use in my wardrobe.

Afterwards my friends and I went to the Textile Museum which had a beautiful and impactful display from Indigenous and First Nation artist communities related to the Covid-19 pandemic, with a focus on masks. I'm really glad we got to see these, it was a display that really got me thinking. Afterwards we got drinks and food at Don Don Izakaya, followed by gelato. It was our last night out and about in Toronto before the long drive back, and a great way to end a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for reading and take care,

Royalsealy 🌹

Wow, it's a Tuesday! Coord for the Kei Con Day 3 Tea Party, i was really excited to wear this piece in particular to a big event, and on top of that it was very comfortable.

JSK: Ribbon Ribbon Gelato by BTSSB

Headdress: Usakumya Headdress by BTSSB ; OTKS + Shoes + Milk Chan also by BTSSB

Blouse by Metamorphose Temps de Filles, Wig by Dream Holic

[vergess]

Hello there! I apologize for the late hour, but I was just wondering if you have any headcanons or speculations about Besk, the twins' deceased mother from I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I already heard back from @exocolonistfeelings and @arionwind , but I thought a third opinion would be good for my curious brain 😅

Oh, you never need to apologize for sending me asks about my Favourite Subjects, don't worry! Unfortunately, I had already gone to bed by the time this arrived D:

So, before we begin, this post will have spoilers for:

MAJOR: Robotics job storyline.

MAJOR: Dys and Tang friendships (duh)

MAJOR: Delusions run/achievement

MAJOR: Barista job storyline.

Marz friendship (minor)

Doctor job (minor)

Prolific parenting ending (minor)

Life on Earth achievement (minor)

It will discuss the following stressful subjects:

Suicide

PTSD

Depression

Psychiatric abuse

Child abuse

Substance abuse (alcohol, psychiatric medication)

Cult indoctrination and abuse

Human extinction

And finally, Besq has a character profile in the game data, but it's never used. The profile informs us that she:

Was named Arabesque;

Was female;

Died at age 32;

Was born in Early Quiet;

Was ~12 years younger than Instance, ~7 years younger than your parents, and the same age as Anne, Tirah, Al and Bernie.

Combined with details from the Twins, Marz and Instance, we can develop a very complete timeline of her life.

And it's nasty.

But let's start a little lighter.

Like Ari, I am a definite "Arabesque And Instance Truther." For a while, I honestly considered that Instance might have been the other genetic donor for the twins. Tangent's resemblance to her is particularly noticeable.

So, I figured they were besties, and maybe exes, but in that way you get with queers where no one is sure if they dated or not even though they definitely both lived together for a while and had sex.

Until I started plowing through all the endings, I was under the impression that when Tangent talked about bonding during her transition it was because Instance is also trans. That seems not to be the case (if you become a geneticist or a doctor or something, you develop a more perfected transition technology and it's used specifically for Utopia and Tangent, but not Instance or Vace).

So I was honestly under the matching impression that when Arabesque needed a genetic donor for her Depression Baby, she went to her "Friend" rather than going to the genetic banks, possibly because she knew she would not pass any meaningful examinations. Medicins aren't good at it, but they are trained to look specifically for depression in mothers. With the entire colony hinging on reproduction as aggressively as it does, I truly thought she would have been caught by even the most basic screening.

Of course, as a psych herself, she could easily just lie about everything and get a donor sample.

And that seems to have been the case because of 2 things.

1) Tangent implies she checked her genome against Instance's at one point around year 14 and found no significant commonalities suggesting relationship.

2) If you do Prolific Parent after picking menstruation/breast growth in adolescence (and maybe also null?) and have a female partner, you help the colony develop XX-to-XX fertilization so you can go around knocking up other people too. (Again: 40 children!!! You must be stopped!! Literally! The colony has to stop you from having more children!!).

So, if Instance is indeed cis, the tech wouldn't have existed yet for her to be the other donor.

At this point, I now believe Tangent looks like Instance because she was going to come out looking in some way undesirable to Besq. Was Tangent going to look like her genetic dad? Like Besq's ex? Like Besq herself? (I suspect it may be the latter)

Whatever the case, it seems Besq went full Designer Baby on that shit, and used her Bestie 'Tans as a model.

Bestie, exes, singular point of psychological support in perhaps the most horrific possible torture chamber.

~*~Just Girly Things~*~

As Ari mentioned, it was wildly irresponsible for the cult to designate one singular person as the entire emotional support system for hundreds of people living in a heretofore unknown and unknowable stressor, knowing that they might kill their entire families in the process, thereby rendering their entire movement extinct, and possibly the entire human race if the Earth ending is to be believed.

Really sit on that. Think about the horror that the adults, capable of understanding what they are and what they're doing, are going through every single day.

And every single one of them relied exclusively on a single woman to process that trauma, even as she had to process her own trauma without anyone to trust.

And even then, even then, she lives years on the strato. She survives over a decade of a kind of psychological torture that I cannot even begin to understand.

Now brace yourself, because it's time to payoff on that timeline comment.

Arabesque was 16 when she boarded the Strato as their designated trauma therapist.

She spent her entire adult life in hell.

The twins are 1 year younger than Sol. Besq is mentioned in Marz's high friendship event as being alive, but already heavily drinking, when the twins are turning 5. She dies shortly afterwards.

For the twins to be turning 5, the ship has to have been traveling for just under 16 years. She dies on or around her 32nd birthday. Only four years out from the wormhole.

Unironically and without reserve, Arabesque's inconceivable resilience is responsible for the survival of the human race. Without her there to soak trauma up like a sponge for 16 years of isolation, there is 0 chance that everyone else on the Strato would have had the emotional competence and resilience themselves to make it to Vertumna, let alone establish a colony.

And I don't give the cult any benefit of the doubt in this one, by the way. Modern therapy is great, but it's not the only system for developing emotionally resilient groups. It's specifically terrible for small groups that live together.

This is something that anyone trying to create a planned community of any kind should know on day one. It's unbelievably irresponsible to do what they did.

They didn't need a therapist; they needed social hobbies. They needed a knitting circle, a sewing circle, a banjo band, a bonsai club, three mutually exclusive tabletop rpg groups, a teach-what-you-know art class, a choir, a peer-support therapy and study group, and a dozen other small-group hobbies to foster strongly interconnected emotional group bonds.

That or they needed a religious system. Those are basically the two options. But honestly the cult is alarming enough as it is, so hobbies!!

They did NOT need to make a child bear that burden, and certainly not by herself.

What the Strato needed, and the cult should have provided, is what their children got. A wide variety of small activities that contribute to the overall longevity of the colony while building friendships.

And we only got it because Besq lived long enough for everyone else to survive, and then died spectacularly.

Because of her death.

The severe shock of finding that she hung hung herself in her office, between appointments, completely breaks the "therapeutic" strategy the cult imposed on the colony. Unlike every other job with a possible death in the game, Besq is never replaced.

It takes 20 years and a complete restructuring of the social system of the colony before it's even possible for another therapist to emerge, and only rarely!

Meanwhile, even Congruence struggles under the weight of managing the automated therapy protocols when Besq dies. It's mentioned frequently in certain playstyles that Congruence's therapy is fine for what it is, but it doesn't work nearly as well as a real, trained therapist. Vace describes it as confusing and monotonous. Sol simply describes it as "not as good."

It's a mostly automated system. The handful of excerpts we get from it suggest a very basic CBT regimen. That makes sense, since CBT's non-holistic approach makes it especially easy to self administer. However, it also severely limits the kinds of problem CBT can treat.

And even still, Congruence almost dies the same way Besq did. Only, if Congruence goes, so does the rest of the colony.

That's the end of the Robotics storyline.

After a shockingly similar ~16 years, the strain of mental health for the entire colony, combined with constant trauma, breaks Congruence. An AI many hundreds of thousands of times faster than a human, who regulates everything in the colony, who was designed to self-repair for millennia.

Congruence is the human equivalent of the Overseer, and she lasted exactly as long as Besq did under that strain, while doing significantly worse than Besq did.

Speaking of CBT's inherent limitations: Tangent seems to favour the Psychodynamic approach if she becomes a therapist.

However, Tangent's psychodynamism stands out specifically because of her willingness to use medical and technological intervention alongside it. This is relatively uncommon in our world, if only because psychology (therapy) and psychiatry (medication) are two different fields with totally different demands and licensures.

But even in cases when a psychologist and a psychiatrist share a practice and work together, the ease and readiness with which Tangent approaches those additional interventions is fascinating.

It suggests to me that Besq was likely also a psychodynamist, but a non-medical one.

This is also fun, because it plays well with the theme of reuniting the twins. Instance says outright that Tangent takes after her, while Dys takes after Besq. (Instance saying this is a large part of why I think they were exes rather than unresolved, because it seems like a sort of 'history repeats itself' statement, since it's specifically in the context of 'why Dys and Tangent can't love each other.')

TI is only when Tangent combines the dynamic, holistic approach of Dys (and psychotherapy) and with the the rigid, numerical approach of Instance (and psychiatry), that Tangent overcomes the hurdles her mother failed.

Tangent's happiest lives come from reuniting with emotionality, trauma, and soft skills through Dys, and through the echo of their mother Besq.

Her happiest lives come when she surpasses the horror she inherited when her mother's all-too-human strength finally failed.

And I think that's part of why Tangent is often so... accepting of her early death (she never lives past 60). And why even in the best endings, she doesn't have children of her own, though she donates genetics to a few.

She achieves her goals simply by surviving her trauma instead of being consumed by it. Her legacy is the health and happiness of humanity as a species, not herself or her bloodline. She's very much the mirror image of Dys and the Gardeners, in that way.

There is one other kind of mental health intervention in the colony without Tangent, though. If Congruence's workbook therapy doesn't help, then there's Instance's meds.

When Arabesque dies, Instance devotes herself wholeheartedly to creating self-regulating psychiatric drug implants. In the Barista job ending, Tangent talks about how she and Instance have perfected the technology and Tangent uses it herself to manage her depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions.

If you do a Delusions run, you get a few more tantalizing hints about that.

After Besq's death, the entire colony develops a SEVERE stigma around mental illness.

When Sol presents with delusions (which CBT is especially bad at handling), no modern therapies are attempted. What happens instead is a horrific combination of futuristic medicine and medieval psychology.

Instance begins with bed rest.

That doesn't work. It wouldn't work even on bog standard psychosis. In the fashion of "The Yellow Wallpaper", being put on bedrest runs the risk of making Sol worse.

If Sol continues to express delusions, Instance moves on to heavy antipsychotics. Because the implant is not yet ready, Sol can fake taking these meds.

But it doesn't matter if you do. You'll eventually be caught, and forcibly medicated in a way you "can't avoid." This is never specified, but is specifically not an invasive procedure.

The antipsychotics cause a horrible reaction, whther voluntary or forced. You become almost catatonic, and are trapped in a permanent hallucinatory dream state with your various lives overlapping in your hearing and sight.

So, Instance, your parents (if alive), and the colony council decide to perform an experimental cyberpunk lobotomy on you. This is suggested to be either a prototype or early version of the implant, as it involves invasive surgery, a long recovery time, the suppression of neurochemicals, and massive personality changes.

When I say there's stigma, I am not fucking around. That's their response to nonviolent, nonthreatening delusions in a child.

And as a natural consequence of this absurd behaviour around modern psychology, the colonists avoid anything and everything that looks even vaguely like modern therapy, with the exception of Congruence's AI CBT.

However, because of Besq's tireless work, the colonists are also generally psychologically healthy enough the "inferior" AI therapy is sufficient.

That means the colonists are healthy enough to more or less self-regulate. Combined with the close quarters and heavy labour demands, a system naturally emerges that prioritizes social-bonding through shared hobbies and work.

I don't think Besq killed herself with that in mind. I can't imagine she planned it that way. I think by the time she got pregnant, it was already much too late for her to have any hope of survival.

But the fact remains: Besq set the colony up to survive, in the most horrific way possible. Tangent's obsession with killing herself so that the colony can survive is very much inherited.

Oh also! I'm pretty sure she named Dys that because he (as the "planned" pregnancy) was her Depression Baby.

There's this thing people do, sometimes, when they're extremely depressed, where they have a kid and obsess over it, because as long as the kid is alive and loves them, then they have a reason to live, etc etc. It's really a horrific pattern, because if the parent(s) don't get help for their psychological issues, it almost always leads to all kinds of child abuse.

It can overlap with post-partum depression, too, which just makes it worse, feeding in to the sense that the only value in your life is your children, or vice versa.

As a psychiatrist and psychologist herself, Besq would have been aware of that. I think on some level she knew she was setting herself and her children up for torment. But it was that or just give up and die already.

I very much believe she had Dys specifically as a way to manage her own dysthymia (major depression) long enough to eke out a bit more survival.

I think her peculiar behaviour towards her children also reflects that. The few times we hear about her aside from Instance, Besq is consistently both drunk and doting. If you've ever read Homestuck, Besq has a very Mom Lalonde energy of desperately trying while utterly failing in no small part due to her substance abuse.

And given that the only other people her age she meets for the rest of her entire life are:

Aunt Anne, the All-Mother

Tirah et al, the most distressingly well adjusted polycule on or off earth

Al and Bernie, the literal fucking dictionary definition of picket fence monogamy

All of whom have kids aready or are just starting to have children (remember, Dys and Tang are the youngest in the group). All of whom are happier and better adjusted than you. In spite of the fact that you were the one doing the adjustments.

With all that, a depression baby starts to sound like a very appealing last ditch effort. After all, as long as she's careful not to hurt the kid herself, then when she does give up and die, at least she knows the creche will keep them safe. And Anne is so happy, so loving.

All Besq needs to do is stay drunk enough not to hurt herself, sober enough not to hurt them, until she's finally done. From the perspective of someone who went through what she did, it must have seemed like a kindness.

Given them a bunch of happy memories of her when they're too young to understand why she reeks of illicit alcohol and doesn't spend time with any adults. Then, when she's too tired to continue, just off herself so she can't hurt them with her self destruction, and let Anne and the creche clean up the mess.

When you're far enough down in the depression, that logic checks out. The idea that your absence could be worse than your presence is unfathomable.

Also, since Besk's birthday is immediately after Dys and Tang's, I have to assume the reason Dys is so weird about birthdays is that Besk made sure to live just long enough for their 5th birthday (the photo Marz has), and then killed herself on or immediately before her own.

That, uh... that would for sure give your kids a weird complex about birthdays, to the degree that your son hates people more if they give him cake, and your daughter refuses to eat any sweets at all.

So yeah, that's about that.

I suppose I should mention her Ex from Earth, the one that comes up in her suicide note. But honestly? She was 16 when she left. I'm not exactly shocked that she idealizes some boy she left back home. Even without the trauma of everything else that happened in her life immediately after leaving him and which never ever ended which would necessarily conflate his existence with the last time she felt joy?

It's not that weird for a 16 year old to have a strong crush, and then wax nostalgic about it as an adult. I mean, most people are willing to make a bit of fun at themselves for how silly and obsessed they were as a teen riding high on that first rush of "oh my god I have sex/romance/whatever feelings now."

It's just that, unlike most people?

When Arabesque says 16 was the best her life ever got, she's right.