#I decided to traumatize him A Lot in this fic
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the-cookie-of-doom · 9 months ago
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Some more from this AU (and I cannot stress this enough: Porsche and Kim are not fucking anymore)
"There you are," Porsche murmurs, brushing a thumb along Kim's cheek bone. The skin is flushed red from where he rubbed away Kim's makeup. Porsche prefers him like this; fresh-faced and clean, none of the act he tried to put on, even if his eyes still look a little lost. "You were really worried, huh? You haven't gotten that dolled up for me in a long time."
"I knew you would be fine." It's meant to come out waspish and dismissive, Porsche knows. Instead it comes out sounding small and scared, like Kim didn't quite believe it. Like he still doesn't, even with Porsche standing here before him, freshly washed and injuries tended to by Kim's own hands. Whole and safe. Porsche lightly cuffs him under his chin with a smile, knowing Kim needs the reassurance.
"Only because I knew I had you and Chay waiting for me." At the mention of Chay's name, Kim closes his eyes and lets out a little sigh. Porsche has been rid of any evidence of the night, blood and soot and ash, and Kim is back to himself. It's Chay's turn to be taken care of. "Come on, let's go see him."
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I didn’t write it in but I need you to imagine for this scene: Kim is sitting in the middle of Porsche’s bed surrounded by at least 5 different guns (which were all hidden), aggressively stripping and stress-cleaning them. Meanwhile Porsche is watching him like awww, murder muffin
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non4ry · 2 years ago
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just two partners relaxing after a mission <3
#resident evil#ashley graham#manuela hidalgo#ashuela#re4#the darkside chronicles#okay i’m going to infodump about the fanfic/au of them i’ve got in my head so people understand#this is set in the og 4 timeline btw.. i had agent!ashley first capcom 💥💥#anyways after re4 Ashley decides that she wants to become an agent#because she wants to feel like leon’s equal (she really admires him and looks up to him and has a complex about it basically but it’s not#weird like it is in canon vs ashley just being very traumatized and developing a personality disorder bc of her trauma lmao)#other than that I think she doesn’t ever want to feel like she’s helpless again and she doesn’t want other people to feel that way either#she has good intentions but is still in denial about how corrupt the government is (but she is very much starting to learn bc her father is#a total POS and she’s gonna realize how little he actually cares about her pretty quickly)#re4r made her a little too patriotic for me but that’s beside the point#Manuela is also an agent who was training around the same time as Ashley but her role is much different due to her BOW status#she’s also been in american gov custody since she was 15 and she does Not like them#I’m still going back and forth with how I write Manuela but she knows how expendable she is and knows they only keep her so she doesn’t get#traded off in the BOW black market and become of use to someone dangerous to the gov#there is a lot more about the progression of their relationship and their dynamic as a partner team but i’ll save it for the fic#unrelated to the plot AS FOR THEIR DESIGNS. i realized too little too late how DMC looking ashley is 😭 but it’s fine#I based her design off of her 3.5 design and my own personal spins#manuela’s outfit is much less elaborate because . she doesn’t want it to. catch on fire . LMAO.#I want to give her more outfits for Off the job scenes and really elaborate on the sense of style she develops when she’s on her own#also LET HER HAVE BURN SCARS?? I know that because she’s a BOW she would probably. heal much faster and her body would regenerate#but that’s lame so she gets to have at least Some scarring. capcom writing be damned#oh also this isn’t relevant to their overall stories either but they are both so autistic .. manuela listens to music to decompress#and calm down after stressful missions and she also hums/sings as a stim okay thank you that’s all
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itadore-you · 11 months ago
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every day I think abt this one fic I used to follow like the gospel from 2020 WRITERMILK WHO WROTE FUCKTOY ON WATTPAD U MADE ME WHO I AM U GOT ME INTO FANFICTION I LOVE YOU
#no idea what scandal happened that made them delete all their fics but GODDDDD I MOURN THAT FIC EVERY DAY#context it was a nanami x reader x gojo fic#gojo was a fuckboy who played with readers feelings while she didnt notice that nanami was pining after her the whole time#it was so sad bc she was ADDICTED to how gojo made her feel and she spent almost every night getting black out drunk at the club#wishing that hed want her the same way she wanted him#almost every time this happened nanami would be there to comfort her but eventually it ruined him too#seeing the woman he loved continue to keep ruining her life for him and always just hope hed fix everything#so the one time he tells her he cant be picking up her broken pieces anymore she reaches her breaking point and uhhhh#suffice to say bad things happen at the club that night she ends up in hospital#during her recovery though nanami comes back to her bc yeh he cant leave her like that cmon#gojo also starts to visit too realising that he should have cared a lot more#suffice to say yn eventually starts to return the same feelings for nanami but its a difficult thing bc#he obv doesnt want to suddenly overwhelm her with his feelings bc she went through traumatic stuff#eventually he takes her on a date when shes better and things just CLICK SO PERFECTLY#then gojo decides to confess 😭😭😭 what a mess#but omg yn finally has broken free of her previous feelings for him and she knows that being with nanami is the right choice for her
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twistpixel · 3 months ago
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In my mind there does exist a fanfic and it’s a one shot and it has no point beyond like, Bruce is a bad parent to Jason. I think there’s a desire to like force that out and make it clear cut and that leads to things like Bruce being overtly abusive in some fanfics. But I have 0 tolerance for fathers so he’s already overtly abusive enough in canon for me and this between the panels fanfic in my mind is just opening that up and showing it to the reader by making it so obvious it can’t be ignored (but not by Bruce because he can ignore anything).
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sooniebby · 1 year ago
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I’m back…had a random thought when listening to men moaning and I just had to write it for y’all.. you know the drill, bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cock
Smut fic—in which reader has the terrible experience of being able to read minds. It was fun at first when you first found out at age ten.. but then it just got bad because you couldn’t control it
Hearing your mom’s thoughts about your dad was traumatizing to say the least. As you grew older, you basically learned to tune people out by filling your head with your own thoughts. It usually works.
And it was your usual day in your philosophy class at the university you dreamed of going to.. and it was the usual in that you sat next to this random girl who slept the entire time. Which was good, you didn’t have to worry about her thoughts.
But much to your surprise, someone sat next to you. It was pretty shocking. This guy was “popular” in the sense he was handsome and everyone wanted to be near him.
He usually only sat next to his friends but today he was next to you..? Odd—but you didn’t care that much. You now had to focus on making sure his thoughts didn’t distract you from your professor..
But you did want to take a little peak—just to see what a guy like him would be thinking. At most, you expected him to be focused on taking notes
This guy… is he an actor, you thought to yourself. He looked to be paying attention but the only thing on his mind was sex.. with you.
And not just a fleeting glimpse of sex. it was.. wow, pretty graphic.
He was fantasizing about fucking you in an empty classroom. The classroom you two were in right now. You sprawled on the teacher’s desk, back arched with your legs being pushed towards you.
He was fucking you. Very harsh. He had a very vivid dream of how you’d look fucked out on the table—your moans filling the empty classroom.
His fantasy was solely on you. How you cried, how you arched your back, how you whined his name.. suddenly, he was holding tightly on your neck, lightly squeezing it while his thrusts began to practically knock your breath away.
“You sound so cute.. but you can be louder, yeah?” His fantasy self said to you, reaching down and slapping your ass which earned a scream. Which embarrassingly enough caused you to flinch in real life.
Okay, that’s enough..! You thought to yourself, looking away with a blush. Holy shit. This random guy… was dreaming about having sex with you?! But you guys didn’t even speak.. why.. did he like you?
You couldn’t help but glance over at him, trying hard to not let his thoughts flood your mind again. He was certainly hot—which made sense why a lot girls kept fangirling about him.. Black hair slicked back with gel, a nice nose, plump lips girls were jealous of, a lean body, cat-like eyes..
why was he into you?
He could have anyone.. but he’s thinking about you?
By accident, a slip of his thoughts flooded you again. He wasn’t thinking about sex anymore, he was actually focused on his notes. With a sigh, you decided to believe you were just going crazy and took a sip from your water bottle.
‘His mouth is so small.. would it actually be able to fit around my cock?’
You coughed heavily as water slipped out of your mouth. Much to your shock, the perverted guy handed you some tissues to wipe your mouth. You muttered a thank you, cleaning your chin and mouth.
Jesus, this guy is going to be the death of you.
‘He’s so cute…I hope he likes guys…’
You sighed, happy that he was finally thinking about you normally.
‘Ah.. what if it was my cum instead of water on his lips..? Oh, too much don’t wanna pop a boner in class.’
You could only cough once more in shock and cover your ears. Oh, you needed him away from you fast. But it seemed like he was going to actually start pursuing you soon..
But what you really wondered is if you could survive hearing his thoughts on a daily basis.. and by the embarrassing boner you were sporting right now
Yeah, you were going to be having boners in philosophy often.
‘Does he even like giving blowjobs..? Hope so.. it’d be hot cumming in his mouth..having it overflow.. oops, boner!’
This was going to be a long day…
My first ever one where the guy actually thinks and technically talks… :0! This was fun if you guys want, I’ll definitely expand on it. For now, Imma continue the roommate for tmmr <3
Yoga instructor is coming soon, can’t wait to have an actual fic for him, it’ll be in 2nd person!
Tag list: @nakedtoasterr @chill-guy-but-cooler @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @the-ultimate-librarian @iwishtobeacrow (ask to added to my tag list to be tagged in all of my works :3)
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woodlandwrites · 8 months ago
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i. mind over matter
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aphrodite!reader x luke castellan
pre-tlt, characters 18+, mdni, def going to be a pt.2
warnings: cursing, whole lotta impertinence!
2.7k read - unedited
You have been plagued by flocks of doves and Luke Castellan. So Aphrodite decides to meddle a little a lot in your love life. Who needs memories anyway? Unfortunately, the only person you find comfort in - is the very person you hate.
A/N: first fic in a loooong time - stick with me here. there will be more parts and maybeee some spice? anyways hope you enjoy!
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You’d like to think that Aphrodite loved the game of making you miserable. In retrospect, you hated your mother. She was a hard act to follow. 
Don’t jump to conclusions - you loved your cabin. Your brothers and sisters were wonderful - not vain like most campers would say. No, that was not an issue. The problem started with one slender, curly haired, crooked smile boy - Luke Castellan. He was the golden boy of Camp Half-Blood and the bane of your existence. 
Luke was an astonishingly aggravating self-centered egotistical bigot. 
“Why do you hate him so much,” Silena asked one day out of the blue. You both sat in the stands watching Luke teach his swordsmanship class. You pondered her question for a while.
“Because. He confuses me - and aggravates me constantly. I have never met anyone so full of themselves in my entire life. He is Narcissus reborn again. It also does not help that he is a complete jerk,” you nodded as you ate another fresh strawberry. Silena pondered on your words.
“Are you sure this has nothing to do with mom and the whole..argument,” she said in a cautionary tone.
Silena was the only one who knew about you and Aphrodite’s - complicated past. To be fair - she didn’t know the entire truth. The prophecy, the impertinence, all the bullshit. However, she did know that your shoulders seemed to tense every time Aphrodite’s name was mentioned. 
“I mean every time I have talked to him at camp counselor meetings he seems like an alright guy.
Silena - forever the optimist. Sometimes when you looked at her through the corner of your eye she resembled your mother. She had this soft tone and locks of hair that seemed to always catch the wind just right. Yeah, no wonder Luke was nice to her. Selina was extremely beautiful - Beckendorf struck gold. 
“Yeah, I can see right through the façade-” you were cut off by a dove landing next to you. He started pecking at your strawberries mindlessly. Silena stifled a small giggle. 
“It is funny when it isn’t happening to you. The bastards have been following me around for days,” you said annoyed.
You tried scaring the bird away - only for more to return. After a couple minutes an estimated 20 doves flocked around you mimicking every move. 
“Go away!” you screamed - only for the feathered friends to cock their heads in curiosity. By now, the entire arena seemed to convert their attention to you. 
“Hey! I heard if they shit on your head it’ll bring good luck,” Luke echoed watching amused.
He leaned against his sword in a cocky manner. What an asshole - you hated when he did that. The other campers seemed to laugh along. 
“Up yours, Castellan,” you yelled with a face the color of cherries. 
The doves had now increased their army to a solid 50 - all looking to you for a further instruction. Doves had followed you around your entire life - a gift your mother had bestowed to you. The unfortunate part was that they were pretty much the most non obedient monsters on the entire planet. You never had truly understood why they would appear - most of the time it was a random occurrence. Of course - Luke was always there to revel in your misfortune. You still had not forgotten when the doves caused a complete riot last month at dinner - leaving quite a mess for you to clean up. The younger campers were still traumatized. 
That was the thing about doves - they were just like your mother. At first they are nice to look at, almost sweet. That is until they turn into vicious assailants from Tartarus (Silena says you overreact). They also annoy you - another common attribute with your mother. 
“For Gods sake just leave!,” you yelled again, stomping off, bidding Silena goodbye.
You did not want to continue being entertainment for the rest of the campers. The doves seemed to take the hint - maintaining their place in the stands. You were sure there were some week old snacks stuffed between the seats the rotted things could ravish on. Luke chuckled before turning his attention back to his students. 
The sun was setting and soon it would be dinner - but you still sat in bed thinking about what Silena had mentioned early about your mom. Maybe it was your nerves - but you knew a visit soon would be unavoidable. The doves only confirmed your suspicion. It was rare for gods to visit Camp Half-Blood, at least publically. The closest thing the camp had to godliness was Mr. D - what a joke. However, you knew your mother and her constant desire to meddle with your life. 
Dinner went without a hunch - except for the Stoll twins starting a food fight at the Hermes table. You loved quiet nights like these where the summer breeze feels like a warm hug. Silena nudged you - reading her expression you knew she was inquiring about the events from earlier. A shrug sufficed. You were so caught up in laughing with your siblings you failed to notice the yelling from the other side of the pavilion. 
“One of the Ares girls was flirting with Luke after you left today - Charlie and I could not help but laugh. It was so awkward,” Silena mentioned.
 There were a couple of murmured sounds and gawking from your siblings - which was the usual. If there was one thing they loved it was - well - love. However this subject rubbed you the wrong way - maybe it was just Luke’s name being mentioned.
It felt like a suffocating gut punch and it was most likely your mothers doing. If there was anything she loved more it was demigod love - the trials and tribulations - and of course the unfortunate ends. It quite literally made you sick. But why did Luke have to be roped in it and moreover - why did you care? You smiled and nodded - trying to pay attention and not let the thoughts take over. 
“Get these goddamn things off of me!,” a familiar voice yelled in annoyance.
So wrapped up in thought - you failed to care - assuming it was a practical Hephaestus joke with an Ares kid. Selina quickly nudged you pointing towards the Hermes table - for quite an interesting scene. Luke being attacked by a merciless army of doves. 
“Hey Castellan, let them shit on your head - heard it was good luck!,” the words reflected from just a few hours prior.
You couldn’t help but giggle - it was nice not being the receiver of dove aggravated assault (as Beckendorf had termed it). It was also nice not to be the joke for once - everyone laughing at someone else for a change was different. 
“Call the damn things off,” he struggled - yelling your name in the process.
“Why do you automatically assume I am the one who set them off? They just do what they want!” you retorted.
 Silena looked at you - questioning your motives. He struggled even more as the doves thrashed him around - seemling gaining confidence in their blows. They seemed - deadly - more than before. Silena muttered your name.
“You have to try,” Silena persuaded. Reluctantly you obeyed - knowing she was being more serious than she was putting on. 
“Stop!” you yelled sternly to the winged creatures.
Like usual - they did not obey. Unfortunately, they keep going - tearing Luke’s shirt in the process. He held himself quite well against dove assassins  - a fact you did not want to admit to yourself. 
“παύω!” You spoke - pleading that it would end.
It was all your mothers fault. She wanted you to be miserable. She wanted to ruin your night, humiliate you - and to hurt Luke. You weren’t sure why that last part bothered you so much.
 “Φεύγω!” you screamed once more in an earthshaking tone.
The doves dissipated automatically. Like literally - poof - into dust. Again - the entire camp had its eyes on you - what else was new?
“What is wrong with you,” Luke questioned - still astonished at the sheer power of your voice - that very voice that made doves disintegrate. You slowly looked up at his disheveled appearance - he looked worse.
Beautiful. 
You wish that voice in your head would go suck a dick!
“Shows over, enjoy your dessert,” you said bitterly to the crowd taking a bow.
Silena yelled your name but you had already darted towards the woods. You could hear the muttering of the crowd questioning the evening entertainment. You could not seem to care. 
You took a seat in the sand on the beach overlooking the shore. The moonlight seemed to make the water sparkle like diamonds. You felt almost calm here - no one to distract you from your thoughts. Why did his words strike you like a knife? He might as well plant backbiter into your back, it would hurt less. It all led to the proper question - why? Why would the doves attack him anyway? They had never done anything quite so ruthless before - nevertheless to another sole person. 
Then again - it was always about Luke - ever since you got to the infernal camp. He was probably celebrated for his brave victory in the battle of the doves - hoisted up by other campers. You suppose a feast in his honor was in order. 
“You think such unhappy thoughts,” an angelic voice sang from the sea. 
Your attention turned towards a bundle of sea foam. The foam began to sparkle and mangle to take the shape of a woman the closer it got to shore. Soon after your mother - Aphrodite stood before you - in all her glory.
“I thought seafoam was just whale jizz,” you spoke casually. You chucked at yourself that was a good one!
Of - fucking - course. Your mother was behind the entire dove fiasco - you called it. You should start placing bets at this point. 
“Most would be labeled impertinent with that attitude - especially with a God.” 
“I am impertinent.” You shrugged, pulling your knees to your chest. Maybe if you really ignored her she would disappear. 
“I will not disappear yet - we have much to discuss.” 
“Get out of my head.” 
“I heard what occurred tonight at dinner. Shame, doves are very gentle creatures.”
A dove magically appeared in her hands, letting out a soft coo. You cringed. If you saw another dove tonight - you might just roast it and eat it. 
“So that was you?” You asked venomously.
“Well thanks mom! Now the entire camp thinks I tried to kill the golden boy with a league of killer doves. They all think I am absolutely crazy.”
“I did nothing, my child.” You gawked at her - she paused to collect her thoughts.
“However, you might want to look within yourself before you spit accusations that are not true. I merely gave you a gift - how you use it is at your own expense.” She finished. 
“But I don’t control those horrid things - they just show up and do whatever. Why would I even attack Luke with a bunch of wimpy doves?”
That was your mother, having the audacity to say you caused the incident. That it was all your fault. 
“Love, perhaps?” Her eyes seemed to glitter at the thought. 
“No.” Ugh, not this again, you thought.
“Doves are a mere - personification of one’s inner love. That is why I gave you the gift - so your innermost feelings can never be bottled. That does horrid things to one’s complexion.” 
“Well thanks for the shitty gift, mother. Next time maybe a pair of socks will do the trick.” 
“Why do you insist on denying who you are? Denying what you are destined to become? Denying yourself the love of the century?”
“Why love someone if they eventually will die.” It was true. Your father had died when you were young - leaving you an orphan. Your demigod friends you made throughout the years died horrible unspeakable deaths.
“Isn’t that all the more fun?” 
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you? You just love to see me suffer?”
“You’re being rash.” She fired back.
“Rash? Where have you been?” You scoffed at your godly mother.
“Child, I do not write destiny - I only enforce it. I know you more than you would like to admit, sweet dove. And you - are in love with the child of Hermes.”
 Apollo could’ve shot you through the chest - it would have felt better. 
“Mother, you have it mixed up - I do not have any feelings for Luke. You’re just making things up because you are bored and need some excitement. Please go back to Olympus and meddle with someone else’s life,” you stated. You staggered to your feet dusting the sand off. 
Before you could walk away a bolt of pure energy hit you in your spine. You flew to your feet hitting the ground with a hard thud. In a blur your mother was standing proud above your feet - surrounded in a pink aura. 
“Luke Castellan, he will keep you safe - and you will keep him steady.” 
You might have thought to curse at her - but you couldn’t speak - let alone move. She had disappeared from vision leaving only a dove in her wake. The pain - was excruciating - like being electrocuted a million times. Your ears rang terrible tunes as you tried to level yourself - only to fall back down. The world was spinning at an unmeasurable pace. You could hear shrill screaming - or was it yours? You weren’t even sure who you were? Only images of dark curls, broad shoulders, and crooked smiles flashed through your vision. 
A quake of footsteps running towards the shore were felt as you thrashed in the sand. Voices - yelling a name - whose name? You couldn’t recall. All you knew was darkness. 
“Y/N?!” a feminine voice called. You could feel her hands shake your shoulder violently - it felt like knives.
You heard screams - this time knowing it was your shrill cry. You pushed her away with force. You backed away, crawling backwards in desperation. 
Once your vision returned you focused to see a swarm of kids all in orange shirts - staring at you in shock. The girl who touched you - you could only assume was kneeling in the sand in front of you. She seemed to be pleading.
“Stay away, please,” you pleaded with tears streaming from your eyes. You weren’t sure what had happened but you knew you had never felt pain so deeply. 
“Y/N, please you were screaming. We only want to make sure you are okay. We can go to the infirmary and figure it out,” the girl reached out only for you to retreat more. You hyperventilate on your own words. 
“What’s going on?” another voice asked with urgency from beyond the crowd.
Every child seemed to turn their attention to focus on the male figure. Pushing his way through the crowd - he became shocked at the scene before him.
However, you felt as if all the oxygen had left your body - leaving you limp. You felt as if a hand had grabbed your heart and ripped it in two. He was the one - the one you had seen in your visions. 
“Y/N?” he questioned - half concerned, half annoyed. His chocolate eyes seemed to lock ever so easily with yours. He was indeed the most beautiful man you had ever seen - like a carving of marble. Your soul ached. Without a thought - on instinct alone - you ran. He was engulfed in a desperate hug - his shoulder muffled your pitiful cries. 
“Please, you’re the only one who can help.” You could feel the eyes on the two of you - the gasps were hard to ignore. He went stiff in his posture - not sure how to react. Silence fell over the entire shore, only the crashing of waves in the background. 
“Y/N what is going on? Is this some sort of prank?” he asked in disbelief. 
He had never seen you like this - so scared. Some small part of him wanted to scoop you up, hold you tight, and tell you everything would be okay. He wanted to tell you how he would fix all your problems - just so he would never see you cry again. Although these feelings were so suppressed he restrained.
Gods you were beautiful. 
“I- I don’t know who Y/N is. I don’t know anyone. I don’t know me.” 
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ghost-bxrd · 10 months ago
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okay so this is an idea I’ve seen brought up maybe once before, but maybe Jason (before the Bats find out who he is) accidentally lets something slip that makes them realize that he’s literally, like, a child (seventeen, sixteen, I’m not sure how old he is at that point exactly, but either works)
and Bruce “adoption addiction” Wayne promptly looks at this obviously traumatized teenager and decides that he should adopt Red Hood.
I just think Jason would be so confused (maybe a little pissed too)
I’ve touched on that a little bit in What you’re longing for (you claim to abhor)!
I think this trope is wayyy underrated. Like, Jason is still so, so young. Basically a child. Even if he died at sixteen and then spent two years with the league (even if we’re counting the time he spent dead as aging). He’s barely even legal when he returns to Gotham. Or if we’re being generous let’s say he’s nineteen.
Doesn’t matter, he’s barely out of his teens (maybe he’s still IN his teens if you bend the timeline of your fic a little) and he’s experienced horrors that would have most people become utterly unable to function. But Jason? That boy takes his trauma and channels it into anger. Which, not exactly healthy, but well.
Anyway, getting off topic:
YES. Jason is still basically a kid when he debuts as the Red Hood, and you know what else he is? A good boy who’s not gonna touch any alcohol until he’s officially 21.
“But why would he do that? He grew up in Crime Alley! Ain’t nobody got time for age limitations!”
Hear me out! Let’s assume he grew up in a household where his father, Willis Todd, drank quite a lot on the regular in addition to his mom’s addiction. Jason experienced the aftermath of this (perhaps domestic violence?) every time his dad returned from a job/jail and he grew to loathe any and all substances, including alcohol. Knowing Jason and his convictions it wouldn’t be too far fetched to assume he’d never touch a single drop of alcohol at all.
So that’s one way he could slip up while taking to his goons (and having the bats overhear) or even straight up talking to one of them where maybe Dick banters a bit and goes “Hey, perhaps you should chill out a bit. Have a drink maybe” and Jason just instinctively goes “Fuck you Dickwing, I’m seventeen/eighteen/nineteen! I’m not allowed to drink!”
And Dick just— bluescreens. And immediately goes to tell Bruce, obviously.
OR
The Bats assume Jason is this old guy (Bruce’s or Drathstroke’s age maybe) and consequently they keep alluding to things that happened way before Jason was ever even born and at first he’s so? Confused??? But eventually it just gets really annoying and eventually he just— snaps.
“How the fuck would I know which Nokia gen hit the market that year? I was born in fuckin’ XXXX, I’m an iPhone kid!”
“Stop referencing the Cold War dipshit, I’m fucking seventeen! I’m glad I remember my own damn birthday!”
“I don’t know, I was like— two back then.”
Bruce, obviously, would take .1 seconds to realize:
“Omg. That’s- that’s a whole child. That’s a whole damn TRAUMATIZED child, killing people and sawing off heads. Omg someone must have hurt him so bad. Don’t worry tho, son, Batman’s got you. You won’t have to hurt anybody ever again. We’re here for you. Would you like the room next to Tim’s or Dick’s?”
Meanwhile Jason: “what the fuck”
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nocturnesmoon · 11 months ago
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Safety Nets
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Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish x GN!Reader Wordcount: 6k Tags: Polyamory, established relationship, Hurt/comfort, a LOT of comfort, the guys take care of you, that's the fic CW/TW: Military inaccuracies? canon typical violence, insecurities, heavy self doubt and self blame, minor character death, A/N: This is probably inaccurate mission and military wise but idc i wanted to write something like this for so long- though i am open to constructive criticism if you got some notes. (Read on Ao3)
-You come back from a mission that shook you to your core, the boys help you back on your feet as they always do-
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The wind raged like a storm in your ears, despite the heavy earmuffs which sat too tight on your head, you could hear it clearly. When you closed your eyes, you could imagine it being a hurricane, a wind so strong it would scoop you up and carry you to who knows where. One that would tear you apart and leave no remnants of who you were.
The thought seemed nice, to be taken away and to never return. To be freed from not having to face your own failures in the disappointed stares, that awaited down on the rapidly approaching platform. Your body rocked with every little swerve of the helicopter, no longer having the strength to go against the motion.
"Lieutenant?" Your head snapped up to the soldier in front of you. You ignored the crack in your neck and the ache that pooled into your muscles. He'd been calling on you a few times now, his concerned eyes searching your face for an answer. "We're about to land sir," the soldier let you know, you couldn't muster up a verbal response, only a nod to acknowledge you'd heard.
Ever since they had picked you up on the site, they had that look of pity. It made you squirm, feeling all too self-aware of the way your clothes were caked in mud and blood. Your bones hurt, and your joints felt like snapping in half. You had spent the majority of the mission running, believing that you wouldn't make it out. You had fled, and you had left them behind.
The size of the heli was too big for just you, the soldier, and the pilot in the front. The space felt like caging you in, reminding you of your failure, of who you had lost. Your eyes threatened to shut, the exhaustion whispering in your ear that it would all feel a little better if you let yourself drift away into sleep.
Except every time your eyes slipped closed it wasn't darkness you saw, it was their screams, their blood, and their gore. The cracks you heard when one of the bullets pierced someone's skull echoed in your ears, as if you were still down there on the battlefield.
You were pulled back into your own head, your mind running laps to go through the mission once more. Every single second accounted for so you could dissect your failure. How each one of them had fallen, one by one they dropped like they were nothing. How you had ran with what was left of your team, until one got caught in a bear trap and pulled under falling debris, and the other was shot in the stomach.
You had hoped your head would fill with fog, that it would help you forget and suppress the last few moments of that soldier’s life. His name had been Jacob, his callsign Wisp, he had been difficult to deal with but his progress under your guidance had been noticeable. You hated how it was only now you could remember every little thing about him. Before you didn't care, you did your job in training him, guiding him, but you never made an effort to know him. You wished your brain would stop remembering every little thing now, making you feel all the more guilty.
You wished your brain would do that thing it's supposed to do, block out the traumatic memories so you didn't have to deal with them. Yet they were there still so fresh in your mind, like an open wound, his last words repeated over and over in your mind. You'd think someone's last words would be scared, or sentimental or a sweet last wish. Not his, no he decided his last wish was to let you know just how much you had failed them all.
Over and over again you replayed that memory, how his blood had mixed with the dirt and gravel under you both. You remember how his hand had clutched onto your arm, digging his nails through your sleeve and into your skin. He had pulled you down with him in his final moments, uttered those words into your ear with so much disdain the tone would have rocked your core on its own.
"This is your fault, you led us here."
There was more to his words, you were sure there was but maybe your brain was doing part of its job now. You could only cling to every part of the memory you could before it slipped away into the fog. It was only when someone gently nudged you that you snapped out of your own mind once more. "Sir?" your body went rigid at the touch and the voice, and you fought the distinct urge to disarm the person that was in front of you.
It was the same soldier that had been with you ever since they found you. He had been careful around you ever since he saw the casualties, walking on eggshells around you as if you were a loose cannon, maybe you were. "Sir?" he repeated, being a little more patient now that he had your attention, "We're here."
You felt your stomach drop, nodding slowly and glancing towards the opening doors, the platform outside. You could already glimpse at the two people that were waiting for you, they had probably been on edge for days. It only made you more guilty how you must have worried them, ever since your call for immediate evac. You weren't even sure you could reassure them once you got down there, you weren't sure you wouldn't just collapse to your knees the moment you were within their vicinity.
"Do you need help Lieutenant?" the soldier in front of you hadn't moved, it surprised you slightly, having been sure he would be just as eager to get off and way from your stench of death. For a moment you want to say yes, tell them to get someone to carry you, because your knees would give out the moment you went to stand, but how would that look for you. A new promising Lieutenant, the first op you led after you got your new rank and it turned out like this.
You didn't dare look up at the soldier, too afraid that your own eyes would give you away. You considered for a moment, to tell the soldier to go get the only two people who would know what to do. The only two people you would trust enough to become vulnerable with. "No..." your voice barely comes through, but he seems to register it, his legs moving quickly to get down on the platform. It was time to face them.
It had been a long few days ever since you said goodbye to the two of them. 72 hours since you had left on the plane with the promise of being back sometime the next day. 24 since Johnny had started complaining about your absence. 6 since Simon had been alerted of the fact you had called for immediate evac, that the supposedly simple mission had gone wrong in every way possible.
He hadn't relayed all the grueling details to Johnny, just that the op had gone wrong and that you might come back a little rattled. Simon wasn't entirely sure what had gone wrong either, he just knew there was casualties, and the team wasn't coming back in one piece. The scot next to him was restless, practically jumping in place from anxiety, watching intently as the heli descended and the doors opened.
Simon kept one step in front of him, knowing the man all too well, and even though his eagerness is shared within Simon's own veins, he knows that you might not be in a state that could positively receive that. He knew the both of you inside and out, the years he had spent with both you and  Johnny allowed him to know you in ways he didn't think possible.
He was quick to find out exactly what made you both tick, what set you off, what made you happy and what would comfort you. He didn't like the uncertainty; it was a rocky start when he was still mapping out your emotions. By now you all knew each other well, like three puzzle pieces that fit together, you had found each other and filled out the holes in each other’s lives. Certainty was assured when he was with either of you because you both knew he needed it.
This was new, this was an uncertainty he didn't like. He had no idea what you would be like when you came down to the platform, down into their arms once again. Not to mention the fact you and nobody else had come out yet only churned that unsettling anxiety in his stomach further.
"L.T?" the sound of Johnny's accent filled his ears, his shoulders managing to relax just a little. He wasn't alone in this, he reminded himself, Johnny would be here to figure out how to help you as well. Johnny's pinky curled around Simon's, his urge to pull them both away from the public area would have overpowered if it wasn't for the fact, they were waiting for you.
The pilot had gotten out almost as soon as they landed, but you were still nowhere. He could just peak inside, trying to look for you or anyone else he would recognize. He only caught a glimpse of your form, hidden behind another soldier who was speaking to you. "What's taking 'em so long," Simon mumbled quietly, his mask obscuring his already quiet speech.
Johnny let out a heavy sigh, the hold his pinky finger had was surprisingly strong. They shared the anxiousness, the uncomfortable knowledge that you weren't okay. "Ah dinnae ken" he answered, trying to angle himself so he could get a better look at you. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot he could see at the distance.
They waited, as patiently as they could, the inconspicuous grip they had on each other also served to hold themselves back. Their resolve was wearing thin, and they both knew it, that soldier was talking to you about something, something they didn't know about, and they didn't like it. Simon almost completely lost it when he saw the soldier emerge without you, but his attention was quickly turned when you appeared not long after.
Your walk was slow, in no hurry to get back to them, it should've been the first sign. You looked around as if you were confused, as if you hadn't walked down this path a hundred times before. Johnny wasted no time bolting forward, closing in on you with the clear goal that you were his target. It startled you and Simon almost wanted to berate Johnny in that moment for being so quick with his movements.
Though what Simon saw almost made him want to have a little more time to prepare. The look in your eye rattled something foreign in his bones. It was something familiar, something he had seen in himself once upon a time. Something terrifying he'd never have wished upon you, how it felt when his bare soul had been chipped away at. He looked behind you, expecting some other members of your team to perhaps clue them in on the horror that had occurred.
The hit felt even harder when he realized, you were the only one.
By the time they had gotten you inside and settled in the tub you were a little more present. Your awareness a little higher from when they were on the platform. You had barely spoken a word to them, so vary of threats on every corner that you didn't even let your guard down for them as you usually did.
Only when they had managed to drag you inside, convinced you that your report could wait for later, and gotten you safely inside the space of your own quarters, did you settle. Johnny had carefully helped you out of your clothes, taking the task of cleaning you up and settling you into the safe atmosphere that was them.
He had whispered soft praise in your ears as he removed layer after layer, meanwhile suppressing the want to berate you for each little wound he found on your body. He knew you didn't need the extra scolding, the pure shock from the mission would be enough for you. However, he still felt that sting of hurt in his heart, knowing that neither he nor Simon was there to look after you, to take care of you.
He was well aware that you were capable on your own, you wouldn't have made it this far if you weren't good at what you did. If your rank wasn't enough to go from, then your other various accomplishments on your resume was. But when he saw you like this, with the silent knowledge that you could've been wiped out along with the rest, it put a dark cloud over his mind.
He helped you slowly lower yourself into the bath Simon had previously prepared. You winced in pain when the warm water touched your wounds. None of them were severe enough to cause major worry, but that didn't mean they didn't hurt just as much. Your movements were sloggy, relying on Johnny to not lose yourself completely.
"There ye are," Johnny mumbled quietly, forcing a soft smile on his lips in hopes you soothing you. You let out a shuddering sigh, doing your best to relax into the warm water. You pulled your legs close to your chest, resting your tin atop your bruised knees. "Oh leannan," he gently presses his lips to your temple, cradling your head in an attempt for comfort.
It feels like you're not fully present, watching the world from a third person view that doesn’t exist. You have half of your comfort with you, his hands grabbing the washcloth and slowly moving it over your skin. You look around the small bathroom, trying to locate the other half of your comfort, the missing equation.
"Si..." You're taken aback on your own voice, the croak and soreness of it all leaving you wondering whether you had yelled or screamed more than you thought. You tried to think back on it, settling your mind into the mission again but it made a headache form.
Johnny's motion came to a slow stop, his eyes catching your pleading ones. He knew what you wanted, but he wasn't the one that could give it to you. "He's comin' soon," he does his best at keeping your calm, "S'ok jus' relax." His free hand finds your cheek, making you focus your vision on him.
You lean into it, your body trembling slightly beneath his touch. It was warm and safe, two things you hadn't felt ever since you left. He moved the washcloth over your face, rubbing at the dirt that had infested itself on your skin. His eyes never left your face, his attention and devotion completely yours. His eyes fell on your trembling lips, before quickly flickering upwards to see the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.
"S'ok love, yer okay" He lets the washcloth rest on the edge of the tub so he could take your face in both hands. His forehead leans against yours, bringing you close and gently coaxing you into more contact. "Just breathe with me aye, he'll be back in no time" your eyes fluttered closed, listening to his instructions, glad that you were able to let go of the part of your brain that needed to make decisions.
Fortunately, he was right, as he often is.
Heavy footsteps could be heard and then the creak of the door, it made you snap your eyes open, their searching beginning once more. They landed on the tall brute, Simon's eyes fixated on you since the moment he made his way into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and made his way towards the tub, planting himself on the toilet seat right next to it.
He was still wearing his mask, tired eyes searching your body and gliding over the wounds in your traumatized state. He lets out a deep sigh, reaching his hand up to his mask and slowly sliding it off. You had seen his face so many times, by now it shouldn't affect you anymore, yet still you can't help that feeling you get when you see him shed the mask in front of you and Johnny. The trust he has in the two of you makes your heart flutter.
The look he's giving you almost makes you feel ashamed, even though you know that he's just concerned. He's always been, that's why he's so harsh on you, on Johnny, even on occasion Garrick. You're pretty sure the only reason he isn't like that on Price as well is because of his higher rank and better experience. He's trained you hard so you could overcome anything, but no amount of training could prepare you for this kind of thing.
Johnny leans back, allowing Simon more space to move closer. You move before he does, leaning your body slightly to the side. The sound of splashing water went deaf on your ears, even as Johnny yelped from some of the water going overboard. Your chin ended up nestled atop Simon's thigh, his eyes never leaving you as you moved. His hand coming down to rest on the back of your head.
"How we doin' pet?" his voice of gravel is like a blanket for your soul, the years of smoking giving him a voice that makes you shiver. In truth you don't feel like speaking, you don't feel like answering at all. You know you have to; you can't hide forever but you still hope they won't inquire about the mission just yet.
You let out a huff, almost hoping that the answer would suffice for Simon, but he keeps looking at you with those expectant eyes. "I don't know," you whisper quietly, letting your eyes fall, your body going slack against the side of the tub.
Simon nods in response, a hum of understanding going out to you. "S'fine, you don't have to know right now," he tells you, giving you the peace of mind to just have a non-conditional existence between them.
Johnny picks up the washcloth again, guiding your arms in his direction so he could continue his work of getting you clean. They're both quick and efficient with cleaning you up, Simon's rough voice filling the room as he updates you on things that's happened since you were gone. It's not much, mostly trivial things you don't care about and will likely forget, but it keeps your calm, giving you something else to focus on.
"Ye should've seen Cap he was livid," Johnny's laughs and you muster a smile, hearing about his latest misadventures, and the dumb thing's he'd rode Gaz into. His hands run over your scalp, working in the shampoo and grimacing when he takes out a small clump of dirt. "Aye darling, how the hell did ye get so caked in mud anyway," he sighs, parting your strands to get to the nape of your neck.
You bend your head down to allow him to work through your hair without straining his arms. "I..." you do your best to think back, but the number of times you fell down and scraped against things were a blur. "I think i tripped a lot...it was a muddy area," You held back a pleasured groan, as Johnny worked his fingers over your scalp, small goosebumps going down your back and arms.
"I don't really remember," you admit and let out an exasperated sigh. Johnny finishes up your hair, going for a little longer than necessary in hopes of keeping your enjoyment going awhile longer. When he pulls back to reach for the shower head, he boops your nose, leaving some soap on your face. His mischievous grin is infectious, and it manages to tug the corners of your lips upwards. The way his eyes light up when he sees your half smile makes your heart hurt, you've worried them so much, you're still worrying them.
As soon as they got you out of the water you were clinging to them like a leech. Refusing to let go of the precious contact you've already established with them. They move you around between them, molding you to them as they do the teamwork of getting you dry. Simon peppers soft kisses to your lips and cheeks while Johnny moves the towel over your back.
Even after they're done getting you as dry as they can, they keep you there. Sandwiched between them they hold you tight, and in tune each other. Johnny's head nestled in the crook of your neck and Simon's chin resting on top of your head. It's a stance that squeezes you tight, your own head getting light from the amount of love they try to squeeze into your bones.
It makes your heart burn, and your eyes sting with tears. Your breathing coming out in small gasps, as you end up choking back on a sob. Every single little thing coming crashing down on you now that you know you're safe in their arms. They've always got you, ready to catch you in case you fall. That hasn't changed, and being so subtly reminded by them brings it all out.
"Breathe," you aren't sure who says it, the disorienting feeling not alleviating even as they accommodate you. "Good Good," you recognize Simon's praising voice when you manage to take a few deep breaths. The tears never manage to fall but you don't doubt that they both know just by looking at your pathetic state.
"Love, we need to treat your wounds," he starts off quietly, not having any haste to move you, "Johnny'll go get you some food, and then we can get you settled into bed, okay?" He's making it sound more like a question, but you know it's just to make you aware of their next movements.
Even so you can't help but cling to Johnny's presence as he starts to unattach himself from the cuddle. You look up at him with pleading eyes, hoping he would stay if you just used puppy eyes enough. You almost think he'll budge as he moves closer to you again, his lips descending onto yours for a chaste kiss. Reluctantly he pulls away again, "Be back soon, ah promise ye."
Before you can protest and force him to stay, Simon scoops you up and places you on the bathroom counter. Distracting you from Johnny's quest of finding food that will be easily digested. He holds your face in his hand to keep your eyes on him, while the other one rummage through a cabinet.
You had gotten extremely lucky all things considered, the worst of your injuries the long scrapes on your back from sliding down a hill with sharp rocks. The rest included rough bruises, sore joints, and jumbled mind. Your other teammates had been much less fortunate, led right into their death by your own incompetence.
You're softly called back to reality, Simon gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek and calling your name. You don't know how long you were zoned out, but it was long enough to give him that worried glint in his eye. "Sorry..." you croak, swallowing thickly to hold it all back but this time it's not as easy.
The tears come slow and quiet, the shake in your body forcing them out of your waterline and down your cheekbones. He gently wipes them away, pulling you in closer to his body again and cradling you against his chest. "You survived," he reminds you, "You're still here."
You want to nod along with him and take in his words to keep close. But you don't know if you agree with him, you survived but should you have? Why did you survive and not Jacob, not any of the other soldiers who trusted you to see it through.
Simon placed a soft kiss to the top of your head and then leaned over you to get a look at your back. He gave no reaction to whatever he saw as to not make you panic, though from the bleeding warmth in your back told you it probably wasn't looking the best.
"Lean back for me pet," he instructs you, slowly plucking you from his chest. With a reluctant sigh you lean back and look down at yourself. Your eyes trailing over every little bruise that littered your body. Simon was silent as he took care of you, giving you gentle squeezes over small kisses after every little wince you made.
When he was done treating the visible wounds, you could hear Johnny rustling around outside the bathroom. The only thing left was your back, the one you dreaded the most out of all your wounds. Simon leaned back just as Johnny came back into the room, a set of your clothes hanging over his arm. He places it on the counter and picks through it, handing you a fresh set of underwear, sweats, and t-shirt.
"Wait with the shirt, need to check over your back," Simon reaches over for the underwear and sweats, helping you into it and lowering you back to the floor. You stretch out your limbs, groaning as you feel the exhaustion in your body, your joints popping when you stretch your arms above your head.
Johnny takes your hand in his own, smiling at you and leading you into the bedroom. "Ah found ye some soup, there wasn't a lot to choose from at this hour," he told you as you crawl onto the bed. You glance at the nightstand, the soup bowl steaming and looking good enough to make your mouth water. The little chocolate bar next to it makes you smile, just until Simon guides you to lay on your stomach.
The real pain is about to start, you think. His hands smoothe over your back, avoiding the ridges of your wounds and grabbing the salve. "It'll be quick, am sure" Johnny lowers himself onto the bed next to you, mimicking your way of laying. His head right next to yours, his loving eyes staring into your own and the giddy smile he wore made you huff out the air in your lungs.
"Hi"
"Hi"
His hand reaches out and caresses your cheek, gently running his fingers over your scalp. He does his best at distracting you from the pain in your back. "How ye feelin'?" he asks quietly, his thumb running over your cheek and fixating on your lip.
"Like shit," you scoff and turn your face into the mattress. You feel Simon's hand run over your back, the aching pain making you whine into the sheets. His hands hesitate, smoothing over unscarred skin as an apology before going back to his work.
The work on your wounds is tedious, and when he finally pulls away your eyelashes are wet. The clutch you have on the sheets beneath you is starting to hurt your knuckles. Simon's touch leaves you, but you don't take any action to turn or move. Someone else guides you to move, the difference in touch leading you to believe it's Johnny.
He moves you closer to him, slowly turning you up so you're sitting and leaning against him. He gently helps you into a t-shirt before moving you around like a ragdoll once more. You're settled between his legs, your back to his front and his big forearms wrapped around your waist. He buries his head in your neck, squeezing you and inhaling your scent as if it's the only thing he ever needs.
"C'mon, you need'ta eat," the bed dips as Simon gets back on it, this time having the bowl of soup in hand. He settles in front of you both, reaching forward and gently rubbing your calf. "And we need to talk," he knows you don't want to, that you'd rather bury it deep. Unfortunately for you, he also knows where that will lead you, and the sooner you put it into words for them the easier you'll be able to process it.
You take the bowl from him, agreeing to at least eat something. You couldn't remember when you last had gotten something nutritional, your stomach felt like a gaping hole that was trying to eat itself. You brought the spoon to your lips and savored the taste. Despite the limited options Johnny had still managed to get the things you liked.
"Don't wanna talk," you mumble between your bites, trying to ignore the look Simon is giving you by staring into your swirling soup. "There's nothin' to talk about," You swallow thickly, ever since you had been back you had been fighting the thoughts that urged to trap you. They were just waiting for you to trip in your careful state, they would pull you under the bridge, drown you into the water until you couldn't breathe through your panic.
Simon didn't let go of your leg, rubbing slow soothing circles into your calf. His full attention was on you, and there was nowhere to hide from the man in front of you and the man behind you. Johnny placed a soft kiss to your neck, and mumbled into your skin, "We know ye don' wanna, Leannan, but when ye came back ye were like a Ghost."
When you didn't answer they elected to let you eat in silence for a while longer, unaware to the emotional storm inside your body. You knew that you would have to make that report eventually, that they would hear about the details eventually. But actually, being met with the demand was something else entirely.
You didn't know if you could bear their reactions, the thought of them being disappointed in you made the anxiety roar. You didn't want them to realize that all the time they had spent being proud of you for your achievement had been wasted. That you were nothing of what you promised to be.
You only realized how shaky your hands had become again when you raised the spoon to take another bite. Simon let out a soft sigh, before taking the spoon and bowl from you so you didn't spill on yourself or Johnny. "Darling?" the question was laid bare for you, he gave you the opening to start talking, to confide in them like you always did.
Your hands fall to your lap, right along with your sight. You try to calm your own nerves, trying to rationalize the stirring thoughts in your head. After an elaborate breath, that is more like an exhausted sigh, you find your words. "It was supposed to be a simple op, and it was in the start, find the target and neutralize him," you start quietly, grasping your own hands together.
"But once we were there and set up, nothing went as planned," you lightly shake your head along to your words, "They knew we were coming and hunted us like dogs." You swallow thickly, noting how the shakiness had nestled into your voice. "I tried to reroute our objective; we tried getting out of there, but this was unlike anything I had ever been up against."
Johnny's hand came to encapsulate your own, stilling your shakiness and you freeze up. Feeling all to self-aware all of a sudden, how the attention was on you, as they listened like you were the most important thing in the world. It was both a warm and agonizing feeling, their protectiveness was nice, but it was also scary.
"We were so close to getting out but...they were faster and I...I couldn't..." you choked back on your own voice, feeling the hotness burn on the back of your eyes. "They were better..." you admitted in a whisper, "If I had taken a different route maybe we could have avoided the trap, maybe we could have gotten the drop on them before they got to my team but...."
The feeling of Simon's hand cupping your cheek made you halt, teary eyes meeting his in temporary shock. "It wasn't your fault love," the sincerity in his voice rocks something deep in you, "There was no way anyone could've known." You tilt your head to the side slightly, you wanted to argue, to tell him you could've done a thousand things better.
"Aye, ye acted just how ye were supposed to, ye kept a level head and guided the rest to the best of yer ability," Johnny briefly took over. His voice was hot on your ear, his quiet whispers just as reassuring as the hand on your cheek, "Ye did everything ye could, and ye survived because of it."
"But they didn't..." You sank further into Johnny, sniffling as you held his thumb inside the little cocoon, he made of both of your hands. "They died because of me," you try to argue, despite being grateful that they didn't seem mad you almost wanted them to lash out, to give you right, to let you feel like a monster.
"They didn't die because of you, they died in action, trying to complete the mission they were given," Simon's voice turned a tad harsh, the determination to get through to you all the more prominent. "They knew this was a possibility when they signed up, you did everything you could for them, and the way you make it up to them is to keep going," he told you sternly.
"I know what it's like, to have people fall under your command," he sighs, "S'never not tough, and it's all too easy to fall into the spiral of whose fault it was." You paid close attention to him as he spoke, he always had a captivating way of speaking, just like when he dished out orders, he commanded authority in his mere presence. "It's somethin’ that happens love, it's important to mourn and assess," he looks you directly in the eye, "But it's also important that you know, it makes you neither monster nor failure."
You never knew whether to love or hate the way he could read your brain like had he telepathy, or personal access to your every little fear and sorrow. "It doesn’t make it feel any better," you said quietly, tilting your head into his palm, nuzzling against his skin.
"I know" he puts the half-finished bowl on the nightstand, "Gonna hurt for a while, but we'll be here with you through it." He gave you a half smile, moving closer so he could place a kiss to your forehead. "We're not going anywhere, ain't that right Johnny?" he glances to the man behind you.
"Aye," Johnny's chest rumbles with a hum, his lips placing a trail of loving kisses over your neck. "Not gonna let those nasty thoughts get to ye," he whispers and slowly moves you as Simon directs. Johnny gets you on your side in the bed, your back pressed even further into his chest. Simon gets out of the bed but only for a brief moment. The lights turn off above you, and soon after the bed dips.
You sigh when you feel Simon's skin on your own, his lips find your cheek as he settles in with you and Johnny. His arm supporting both you and Johnny's heads, his other hand coming over you to hold onto the man behind you after moving your hair out of your face. Compressed between them like this always felt like heaven, the pressure they put on your body was grounding and reminded you that you weren't alone.
"Sleep now," Simon's voice rumbled, "We'll be here when you wake up, and we can try again."
They were always here for you, even when you didn't know you needed the extra support. They had worked with you for so long, you had changed a lot with them and for the better. You felt safe with them, no matter how many times you would fall, they would always be there to catch you and get you back on your feet.
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Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated<3
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kate7h · 5 months ago
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Ochako first because wow she’s really really acting like how she was in the beginning—I feel like that’s pretty telling of her character and how she deals with things. She’s reverted hard to older habits and attitudes (giddy, blunt, overly social, maybe trying a bit too hard, etc.) because she is so broken up and traumatized by what happened with Toga. Going back to familiar attitudes means a familiar wall to hide behind.
Everything she’s doing right now is “REDIRECT REDIRECT REDIRECT” haircut was the first thing that came to mind to prevent Deku from saying anything—because she knows what kind of conversation he would have with her and she’s just “nope, only sunshine happy Ochako, but once you say real things, I’m gonna break”. She even shuts Sero down for bringing up her speech. No real things, gotta pretend everything is normal.
One thing we do know is the main reason she hides her tears and her feelings: she grew up worried about being an emotional burden to her already burdened parents. So what she’s doing now, hiding her feelings again from Deku especially, is equivalent. He’s been through a lot, and she knows that. Of course she’s probably already decided to not burden him further with her problems.
So the question now is ‘What will Deku do?’ Look at that worry in his face. He sees right through her, he knows. He’s had a chance to talk and cry with All Might and Bakugo about what happened, but who has she talked to? Probably no one, knowing her. And he does know her.
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I’ve been wishing SINCE THIS MOMENT that he would have a chance to comfort her, see through her happy facade and bulldoze his way through to help her, like he has with Shoto and with Iida, among others. It really is her turn, because I don’t see Deku walking away regretful this time.
It’s really exciting seeing the very concept that sparked my huge (sadly unfinished) izuocha fic series become truth in canon. He is going to bust down her walls and get through to her, and what happens after that, I will be excited to see what Hori writes. But I feel validated in saying that there’s a reason he has saved her for last.
(I do hope for a tearful hug at the very least! Ochako seriously needs a shoulder to cry on)
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luv4georgie · 5 months ago
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i bet on losing dogs.
Max Verstappen x fem!reader
in which formula one star, Max Verstappen, and his girlfriend, Y/n L/n, decide to trauma dump on each-other instead of bottling it up for years.
bit of a reflection because i don’t know who to talk to my past about and all of this (from readers POV) is 1000% accurate so enjoy my sad childhood
warnings: trauma dump, @buse, manipulative mother, traumatic childhood
prompt list
“tell your baby, that i’m your baby.”
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it was a normal Saturday for everyone else, but for Y/n and Max it was filled with trust, honesty and betrayal. i know you’re thinking ‘what a funny mix of words!’. true. but here’s what happened that night.
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it was winter/new years break for the world of Formula 1 and Max had just won his 3rd championship. Max and Y/n were thrilled of course, and the night of his championship was filled with a-lot of lust, if you know what i mean. it was a few weeks later and the couple lay soundly in their bed. Max was stroking Y/n’s hair and face and she fumbled with his fingers. they can’t remember where it first started but somehow they begun talking about their pasts. very traumatic to say the least. Max started with his. talking about the times when his father would get exceedingly angry at Max and the one time he left him at the gas station.
then it moved on to Y/n. she was scared to talk about it and almost backed out. but she knew max wouldn’t tell a soul. it started with when she was 5. “when i was 5 my mother was heavily pregnant with my younger brother. because my parents divorced a few months prior me and my older brother and sister went to my dads. one day my mum really didn’t want me to go to his and when he came to pick me up they were physically fighting over me.” she chuckled. “my dad had me by one arm and my mum had me by the other and were pulling me towards each-other. it was like one of those comedy films” she laughed but Max didn’t. “they were fighting and screaming over me on the drive way. i was scared but i got to my dads fine. a few months later i was at my mums and my younger brother had been born. i was upstairs playing with my monster high dolls and my mum was also upstairs, supposed to be looking after my brother. my older siblings were at my dads at the time. the gate at the top of the stairs wasn’t shut properly and my brother had crawled out of my mum’s room whilst she was watching TV.” Y/n’s face twisted with slight horror and sadness. “H-he fell down the stairs and i heard his cries and large thumps so i ran out my room to see what was going on, hoping my mother hadn’t of hit him. when i saw him lying at the bottom of the stairs i ran down and picked him up, i was struggling since i was only little, and i heard my mum follow me shortly after. she grabbed him from my arms and put him on the couch. thankfully he didn’t break anything or cut himself. i stared at my mum as she stormed towards me. she grabbed me by the arm and got up in my face shouting out about how it was my fault.” Y/n paused, tears welling up in her eyes as she remembered the horrific moment. “then she through me against the radiator. i was crying and scared not knowing why she did it. but i accepted it and let her be angry. the next day i woke up and she came and gave me a kiss. i was confused because i cried myself to sleep thinking she didn’t like me.”
Y/n finished her story with a tear going across her nose bridge due to her lying down and Max was surprised. they hugged all throughout that night sharing kisses and praises between each-other. they were the same, yet they were so different. alas, they were in love.
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sorry it’s so short. i just wanted to put something out here because i don’t want to not be posting anymore. i do NOT support anything that has happened in this fic and do not condone it. hope you all have a beautiful day or night. love you so much ❤️
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phoenixyfriend · 1 year ago
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Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes
It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.
At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*
Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)
So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.
Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.
Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.
Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.
Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)
@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):
Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????
Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.
I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.
Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)
The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the original timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)
Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized
Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.
They point out that he is Baby.
😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.
Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.
At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.
(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)
It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments
Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.
!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]
The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...
He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)
Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.
Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.
the indignity
You just. You can't let him get too self-important.
Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.
The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.
Also Maul's there.
Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!
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Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.
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You know, the classic anime head bite
Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things
tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit
Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.
They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊
They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.
Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).
Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)
I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there
Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation
Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension
* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.
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ghostboneswrites2 · 4 months ago
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Crush (2)
<- (1)
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Summary: In this continuation of Crush, you and Daryl struggle to survive together against both outside threats and interpersonal turmoils.
Warnings: profanity, TWD typical violence, allusions to intended SA, grief/trauma, mean!Daryl, angst, kind of lengthy, lots of action in this one, not proofread, typed on my phone, mild comfort/fluff at the end
A/N: Some canon divergence here! In the show, the Claimers are first seen in an interaction with Rick. For storytelling purposes, the first and only interaction with the Claimers is with you and Daryl. This also didn’t necessarily go in the direction I originally intended 😬
(Masterlist) (Taglist) (Daryl Dixon Fic Challenge)
dividers by @sister-lucifer
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By the time the prison fell, you and Daryl had barely spoken a word to each other. You both seemed to decide that the easiest approach was no approach at all. Resolution and closure were far to unattainable to strive toward for either of you.
The day the Governor came back and destroyed your home, you almost perished with it. Had it not been for Daryl being there to drag you by the arm as he fled the scene, you’d have been walker-chow for sure. Your legs seemed to move on their own for a long time. Your mind had long since tapped out and left you running on autopilot. Days passed like this; wide traumatized eyes staring into the distance as you stumbled over crunching leaves, unfazed by protruding branches that scraped past and tore your clothes. You were dirty, hungry, thirsty, empty.
Daryl wasn’t much better off. I’m his desperate attempt at survival, he was violently forcing his trauma and grief down the hatch. He was wound tight as a thread, ready to snap at any moment.
Perhaps, in hindsight, this was the best case scenario for you both. Had either of you been in your right minds — in touch with your human inhibition — then neither of you would have survived the night that the Claimers attacked you.
The fire was the first mistake. It was a dry and cloudy night littered with gusts of chilly wind. With the lack of shelter to shield you from the harsh breeze, neither of you moved to put the fire out before bed. That was your second mistake: sleep. After all this time, you should have known sleep was a privilege you couldn’t afford.
“Well, what do we have here?” Joe mused from above, sadistic grin just barely visible in the dark. Your eyes were wide open in an instant, body scrambling to reach for a weapon before a baby boot impacted your chest, pinning you down in the dirt. You gasped, struggling to breathe under the weight of the man who led the Claimers. “Ah-ah… I’ll take that.” He chuckled as he reached down and unsheathed your knife.
Panicked, your eyes darted around in search of Daryl. He was already kicking and fighting as two other men held him back.
“Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about your friend.” Joe sighed. “Or— Boyfriend? Husband? Uncle? Makes no difference, really.” He shook his head.
“I’m claimin’ the vest.” A scraggly man piped up, snickering through crooked yellow teeth.
“I got the crossbow.” Another one chimed in.
“And, I… claim you.” Joe concluded, leaning down over you, showering you in his rancid breath. You flared your nostrils in disgust as you squirmed under the worn rubber of his shoe. “No use in fightin, darlin’. Hell, if ya make it easy on me, I might even let one of ya walk away from this.”
As Joe straightened himself to listen his jeans, the weight of his foot on your chest lightened just enough for you to shove him off. He found amusement in this act of rebellion, having faith in his men to hold Daryl back and keep you in line for him. With two on Daryl, Joe on you, and one bystander on the lookout, the odds would have appeared to have been in his favor. The only flaw in this plan was the gun you had tucked in the back of your jeans.
As you pushed Joe’s foot away, the only response he afforded was a cocky laugh. Otherwise his attention was still set on the belt he had just unfastened, fingers moving toward his zipper. You took this moment to sit straight, pulling your gun from behind you and aiming it right at Joe’s head. The contented smirk her wore quickly faded as his fingers came to a halt. Slowly, he lifted his hands in the air and frowned at you.
The two men that held Daryl had been watching with hungry eyes up until this point, excited to see what Joe had in store for you. When your gun raised and Joe froze, their expressions dropped to show concern, eyes bouncing between you and their leader with anticipation.
“That was not a good idea.” Joe scolded you lowly, drawing the attention of the man keeping watch who lifted his gun and aimed it down at you. “You kill me, these guys are just gonna kill you.”
“So I finally get some good shut-eye and I get to take at least one of you assholes out with me?” You fired back coolly. Days and days running on autopilot had allowed you the calmness you felt under such immense pressure. The threat these men posed was not lost on you, but neither was the hopelessness of life on the run. You truly had nothing left to lose, except a life that didn’t really meet the criteria of living.
“Huh.” Joe clenched his jaw as he huffed, glaring at the other men as if they were to do something about the situation. Feeling the pressure of his pack-leader’s short fuse, one of the men hanging onto Daryl decided to reach for his knife and hold it up to Daryl’s temple.
“Drop it, or the boyfriend gets it.” The man threatened, lips curled into a proud smile. Daryl’s head hung slightly forward, greasy tufts of hair dangling over his eyes. He kept his sights on the man, ignoring the idiot on his other side who’s grip had listened enough to break free from had Daryl wanted to.
See, your strength may have been rooted in the ability to remove yourself — to shut off all parts of you that didn’t serve your survival — but Daryl’s strength was in his passion for survival. It was all he had known from boyhood to manhood, and he was good at it. He knew how to watch and wait for the time to strike. He had patience, he was resilient, and he was strong. If Daryl knew nothing else, he knew how to live. It was not only a primal instinct but a guiding principle. Devoid of love and connection, he was filled to the brim with determination and brute force. So, he analyzed.
The man who held him at knifepoint had a flimsy hold of his blade, and his grounding was amateurish. His body bounced side to side giddily and his feet held no real bearing on the ground. The other one seemed to have a careless hold on Daryl, not really focused on the fact that he was responsible for preventing Daryl from breaking free. He was too distracted by the stick-up between you, Joe, and their lookout.
Daryl knew he had a fair chance at turning the tables and gaining an upper hand on the band of brutes, he only needed to choose the right time. As he prepared to strike, his breaths quickened in pace, huffing loudly into the tense silence. The lookout turned his attention to Daryl for a moment, sim following his gaze. When the lookout’s eyes and gun made their way back to you, Daryl shoved his shoulder to his right as hard as he could, knocking the man with a knife to his temple off balance.
The man struggled to find his bearings. With the knife no longer an immediate threat, daryl was able to swiftly pull the other guy into a headlock. Now, he had a human shield, and the lookout nor the man with the knife could hurt him without hurting their friend.
Joe was growing impatient, but he had to remain calm. Things were quickly turning upside down, and he couldn���t afford for his men to make any more mistakes.
“Now boys.” He spoke up calmly as the lookout and the man with the knife kept their attention trained on Daryl. “We don’t wanna let things get too out of hand. I’m sure Len wouldn’t appreciate getting hit in the crossfire.”
You figured Len must’ve been the man Daryl was slowly choking to death in a headlock. You kept your gun aimed at Joe, deciding he was the main threat given his status amongst the others. With Daryl broken free and their leader at gun point, you realized you might have had the upper hand.
“The one with the gun.” You said.
“Tony.” Joe nodded.
“Tony.” You repeated. “Toss the gun to my friend.”
Tony hesitated, eyes pleading for guidance from Joe. Joes eyes traced around the camp, taking everything in, weighing his options. With a defeated sigh he nodded to Tony, who did as you demanded and tossed the gun over to Daryl’s feet. Daryl slid it closer to himself with the tip of his boot before dragging Len down with him to retrieve it. Now, you and Daryl both had a gun and a hostage. Daryl kept one arm around Len’s throat while the other pointed the gun and Tony and the guy with the knife. “Toss it.” Daryl ordered. Knife-Guy glanced around at his friends before reluctantly tossing the knife a few feet away.
“Now, lay down flat. Face down. Tony and the other one first.” You instructed. They obeyed. Daryl finally grew tired of Len’s choking sounds. He pushed Len to the ground and stepped on his back to keep him still. You finally looked to Daryl for any clues on what to do next.
Daryl glanced around, seemingly considering your silent request for guidance. He knew these men would have to die. It was the only way it could be.
Joe, though, a resourceful man, took the only chance he could when you looked away from him and at Daryl. He tackled you down and wrestled you for the gun, knowing Daryl wouldn’t have a clear shot to stop him. As Daryl’s attention fell on you and your struggle for the upper hand, Tony pushed himself up and lunged for Daryl. Chaos broke out. Punches and kicks were thrown and desperate curses echoed into the night.
Len wrestled the gun away from Daryl, but he couldn’t get a clear shot while he fought Tony and the one who had the knife. Daryl ended up finding the knife once the other two got the upper hand and kicked him into the ground. He aimlessly slashed the blade, luckily slicing Tony’s Achilles tendon. Blood spurted from the wound as he fell to the ground, crying out in pain, cursing Daryl with any insult he could muster up. Len and Knife-Guy took a step back from Daryl as he climbed back up to his feet. Daryl’s face was bloody and beat up, but somehow it made him more intimidating.
Len held the gun up nervously, gulping as Daryl paced side to side, just as predator waiting to pounce on his prey. “Cmon.” Knife-Guy urged Len impatiently. “Shoot his sorry ass.”
Len couldn’t, though, because he had no bullets left. He hadn’t come across the ammo he needed in weeks, but it had really been an issue up until that moment.
The thing was, Daryl knew the pistol wasn’t loaded when he held it. It wasn’t nearly as heavy as it should have been. So, without hesitation, Daryl stepped forward and slashed the blade once more, just barely missing Len’s arm as he and the other man dodged backward.
Meanwhile, Joe had finally wrestled your gun out of your hands and dragged you to your feet. He pressed the barrel against your cheek harshly and chuckled with triumph.
“Well, ya gave it a damn good shot. I respect that. Life is precious, and whatnot.” He said as he caught his breath. His face was tatted and scratched up from your attempts at self defense.
Daryl stopped his assault on Len and the other man when he noticed you had lost the battle against Joe. Knife-Guy moved to reach for his knife but Daryl was quick to lash out again.
“Uh-uh-uh.” Joe scolded. “See, when you have the upper hand, you get to make those kinds of decisions. Now, I have the upper hand again. You don’t get to make those decisions. See how that works?”
Daryl scoffed and wiped his arm across his bloodied nose.
“This is the part where you give Dan his knife back, so I don’t blow your lady’s brains all over the place.”
“Nah. You won’t. Her gun’s been jammed for weeks.” Daryl bluffed as he paced side to side, fist still clenched around the handle of the blade.
“Oh, now I find that hard to believe. See, you’re tellin’ me she’s been travelin’ with a man who knows his way around a bow, but you couldn’t un-jam a cheaply made Girsan MT14 .38? I’m not buyin’ that for one god-given minute. My minutes are precious. I don’t waste them on bluffs. You shouldn’t either. It makes things simpler.” Joe lectured.
“Okay.” Daryl nodded. “Dan can have his knife back.”
Stupidly, Dan stepped forward to grab his knife when Daryl held it out for him. In the blink of an eye, Daryl had Dan in his grasp, knife pressed to his throat. Joe took in a deep, expressive breath, and let it out slowly to convey his frustrations.
“I gotta be honest, you’re really pissing me off.” Joe warned.
“The feelin’s mutual.” Daryl retorted, earning a chuckle out of Joe.
“Ya know, I — I actually like you. You’re funny!” Joe admitted. “It’s a real shame we had to meet this way.”
“Wouldn’t’ve been no different any other way.” Daryl insisted. “Either way I kill you.”
“Well, that’s just bad sportsmanship. I expected more out of a bowman.” Joe shot back.
“Never claimed to be a good sport.” Daryl rasped.
“No. No, I guess you’re right.” Joe sighed. “So, then. What’s next? Are we gonna stand here all night with our metaphorical dicks in our hands, or are we gonna settle this like men?”
Daryl seemed to actually consider his question for a moment.
“Alright.” Daryl nodded. “Let’s settle it.”
With that, Daryl slit Dan’s throat with ease, blood pouring from the wound as the man gurgled and choked on it. Joe immediately pulled the gun from your cheek and aimed for Daryl, but the shot missed as Daryl pushed Dan into Len and knocked him down. Joe fired again, this time grazing Daryl, but by then Daryl had managed to dive down and tank Len back into him, serving as a new human shield.
“Dick move, asshole!” Joe bellowed, shoving the gun against our head again. You struggled against him, but you couldn’t break free.
“Just evening out the odds.” Daryl said as he dragged Len back to his feet and kept the knife pressed to his neck.
“Well I guess there’s only one way for this to end.” Joe said.
“Your brains soakin’ in the dirt?” Daryl taunted.
“Somebody’s brains for sure, but not mine.” Joe threatened.
With timing running out and desperation overwhelming him, Daryl finally relented.
“Alright.” Daryl said. “Let her go and I’ll let him go. Take it out on me.”
“Drop the knife first.” Joe demanded. Daryl complied, strategically tossing the knife too far away for Len to grab it before he let Len go. Len stumbled forward, having grown dizzy from the chokehold Daryl kept him in. Joe, keeping one hand on the collar if your shirt to hold you still, used the gun to motion Len to the side.
“Move, Len. It’s time to finish this.” He said.
“Nah. Wasn’t the deal.” Daryl argued.
Both men seemed breathless at this point, worn out from the lengthy struggle to maintain power over the other.
“Well, I like to say I’m a man of my word but… You killed two of my men tonight and for that someone must pay.” Joe informed him.
“Yeah, me.” Daryl insisted.
“Precisely, actually. First, you’re gonna watch her die. Then, I’m gonna kill you. Two for two.” Joe said, as a matter of fact.
“That ain’t gon’ work.” Daryl shook his head.
“Well the way I see it ya ain’t got much of a choice.” Joe chuckled in disbelief.
“There’s always a choice.” You finally chimed in, using Daryl’s distraction as your chance to fight. In a swift motion you turned and bit down on Joe’s neck, clenching your jaw as tightly as you could. Eventually your teeth met, slicing through the flesh. You pulled back, ripping a chunk out of Joe’s neck.
In his shock and agony, he squeeze the trigger, firing a round into Len’s shoulder just before Daryl rushed over to you and tackled Joe to the ground. As Joe gasped and reached for the gushing wound in his neck, Daryl gripped either side of his head and twisted. A loud crack sounded and Joe was lifeless.
Len, in one last effort to avenge his friends, charged after you and Daryl. Daryl grabbed a large stone and smashed it into Len’s skull. Len fell back, and Daryl straddled him, bringing the same heavy Rick down repeatedly until Len no longer resembled a human being.
Daryl slumped in top of the dead man, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he caught up with his breaths.
You sat in shock for a time, eyes glued to Daryl. Eventually, his head turned a little, and you could see his eyes peeking back at you through the mop of sweat drenched hair.
Slowly, he lifted himself up to his feet and stumbled away from the carnage, running a hand through his hair as he came to terms with what he’d had to do. What you both had to do. He looked down at his bloodied knuckles, images of beating a man to death repeating in his psyche.
Suddenly, his eyes broiled with rage as he looked back at you.
“This is what ya want? Huh? Is this the kinda man you wanna love?” He spat.
Shakily, you stood up and stared at him with eyes as round as saucers. The taste of blood still coated the inside of your mouth and dropped down your chin. Bits of flesh were noticeably lodged between your teeth. Your lip quivered as you held your hands out and looked down at your red-soaked clothes. Daryl then realized that he wasn’t the only one who had to be a monster. He wasn’t the only one who had to cope with such heinous actions.
If you could do the things he could do in order to survive, maybe those things weren’t as unforgivable as he’d thought. Maybe it could be forgiven, maybe he wasn’t a lost cause. His eyes softened a little as your eyes welled with tears, a shudder washing over you as you gagged.
You were disgusted with what you’d done. Horrified by the violence and gore. As if the events that led you to the Claimers in the first place weren’t bad enough, you were utterly traumatized.
He walked over to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, hoping to ground you as his rage and terror simmered down.
“I — I” You struggled to speak, short quick breaths quickly evolving into a panic attack.
“You had to.” He assured you. You tried to nod, frantic and uncoordinated as the discomfort and sensory overload set in. You could taste blood and flesh, your clothes were sticky, everything smelled like death. Rapidly, you began slapping your hands against your body and attempted to wipe away all the gore. Firmly, yet still ever so gentle, Daryl’s hands wrapped around your wrists to hold you still. “Breathe.” He urged you. “It’s gon’ be alright. We can head back to that pond we passed earlier, get cleaned up.”
“I — I don’t — I don’t — I can’t —“ You began to sob, trembling as you tried to communicate through struggled breaths and hit tears.
“Breathe.” He cooed. “Slow down.”
“I can’t change.” You cried. “I don’t have clothes I can’t change.”
It might have seemed silly, but he understood. You were distressed and covered in the aftermath of something straight out of a horror film. You probably couldn’t think of anything other than getting the disturbing remnants of your attackers off of you.
“We’ll find ya some. Promise.” He assured you. “Let’s just go. I got your bag.”
It took the better half of an hour to calm you down to a point where you could travel. The pond was only a thirty minute hike back the way you came that day. There, you surrendered to the water, sinking into it fully clothed. You sat down and hugged your knees to your chest, distant and out of touch. Daryl couldn’t witness your unraveling for very long before he stepped in.
He kicked off his boots, peeled his dirty socks from his clammy skin, and rolled his jeans up before he waded in the water to meet you. Tenderly, he scooped water in his hands and trickled it over your head, dampening your hair enough to stub the grime away. His hands worked to wipe away the dried blood from your neck and shoulders. When you made no move to pick up where he left off, he went ahead and cleaned your face too.
You were completely catatonic. He pulled you to your feet and wordlessly guided you back to shore. He then removed his shirt and motioned for you to do the same. You finally let your eyes meet his, questioning him with your gaze.
“Your clothes are all wet. Take my shirt.” He insisted. With no energy to argue, you complied. You tossed your shirt to the side and replaced it with his. It hung down just past your butt. “Should cover ya up good. Wanna let your pants dry too? I’ll wash ‘em for ya.”
Grateful for the kindness, you stepped out of your jeans and handed them over.
“Go on an’ get the fire started.” He instructed softly. Thoughtlessly, you did so, while he scrubbed away at your clothes in the pond. When the fire was burning, you settled against a tree and hugged yourself, knees brought to your chest. When Daryl fit your clothes hung up to fry near the fire, he sat beside you and studied you.
Unable to ignore his presence, you looked over at him.
Two broken souls, horrified with the things they’d seen and done, just staring at each other.
Finally, Daryl scooted you forward from the tree trunk and slid in behind you, pulling you back into his bare chest and hugging you tightly. You easily melted into his embrace, allowing the awful pit in your gut to ease up a little.
“Gon’ and get some sleep.” He whispered into your hair. “I’ll watch over ya.”
That was the first night either of you truly let your guard down and allowed each other to care. From then on, there was no need to wonder. He kept you near him as much as he could, and you never strayed too far from him. Small grazes and lingering affectionate gazed slowly evolved into warm embraces and tender touches.
It wasn’t easy after that. Not by a long shot. You were both still learning to love. You were codependent and moody, Daryl was withdrawn and temperamental. The path to happiness for the two of you would be a rougher travel than most. You’d fight, swear you’ll never talk to each other again, and wind up right back by each others side. The cycle would continue for years to come, until you both grew older and calmer and found peace with each other. This would be around the time Daryl finally left his camp in the woods after Rick blew up the bridge. You’d go on to fight every battle with him.
You both would learn how to care for each other, all your little quirks and triggers. You’d be perfect for each other, because you’d both have to evolve in order to make the other happy. You’d finally be able to live and be loved the way you’d always imagined. Daryl would experience true partnership for the first time.
You’d often joke about it. Having to go through so much trauma just to open up to each other. You’d laugh about all the stubborn fights and petty squabbles. None of them would matter in the end, because you’d always have each other.
Might write an alternate version of this one. Unsure. Went in a whole different direction than I planned 😅
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tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix @superbowlisgay @liizzygrant @eddiemunsonsupremecy @raeraegoaway @ophelialaufey
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jayholdenworld · 3 months ago
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Okay so, I been sharing ideas about carcar, but I have a lot more, and I need an idea of what to post after I finish the Landoscar fic I have.
So, here you go. A Master List of all my Carcar ideas.
1. Super power AU where those with powers are hunted and killed because they “are dangerous”.
Carlos is a hunter, but he gets powers after a traumatic experience, so he’s scared someone will discover and kill him. And Oscar is a “guardian” (someone who protects those with powers because they have a bunch of abilities).
So, when Carlos discovers Oscar’s safe space while Oscar identifies Carlos has powers they need to learn how to help and trust the other one while they’re protecting their own friends and families in the process.
2. Beta Oscar (actually an Alpha) discovering that his omega mate and partner for life is Carlos and having to deal with the idea of being the only one between them who knows this is happening.
Usually Omegas are the ones with the ability to “find” their alphas, but Oscar was raised by and with Omegas. So, instinctually, he knows how to find his other half. But he pretends he’s a Beta because it’s easier for his career.
While Carlos was raised by Alphas, so he doesn’t understand a lot of his Omega instincts and abilities. This, of course, includes his understanding of his feelings for Oscar.
Featuring Lando having the time of his life after discovering Oscar’s secrets. Carlos having mixed feelings about the Australian due to the closeness he has with his (previous) teammates. And Charles, Logan, Max, and Mark trying to help Oscar.
Of course, this idea includes them sharing heats and ruts because I can.
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3. One version of my Red string of fate AU (the other version can be read here but it’s a Carlandoscar version) with Oscar discovering really young his soulmate is Carlos Sainz Jr. but not saying anything once they actually met.
After Spa 2023 Oscar loses his ability to see their thread, which usually means their destiny together has crumbled into pieces and the universe has decided they should not be together. So he starts to pretend it never happened and he never knew about it.
But, instead of the world deciding they should no longer be together, Carlos gets Oscar’s ability and now he’s the one who is pushing everything to make Oscar look on his direction (His last attempt is Miami and we know what happened there)
For those expecting angst from this one, this idea is not so sad in my mind because it’s like an immediate change. Oscar decides to give Carlos some space so he can move on and Carlos goes obsessed with Oscar because “Oscar and him are soulmates! Lando! Your muppet friend finally found his other half!”
(After Miami both see the thread so they decide to talk about it when they have the time. That’s why after Monaco they are so soft around each other)
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4. Oscar as Alonso’s adopted son who had a crush on Carlos since he was little. He was adopted by the Spaniard after some traumatic experiences for the Australian, so, when Nando finds the kid walking alone in Asturias (and after a lot of legal investigations) he adopts the boy and starts teaching him everything he knows about karts.
And Carlos, how grew up admiring Alonso, meeting the young boy he adopted and having the same crush but being too scared of Fernando to even think about making a move.
Carlos, of course, is Oscar’s first everything (friend, crush, loml, rival, sports enemy, frenemy, situationship, fwb, and so on), so Oscar is always scare they are not going to work. While Carlos is having constant meltdowns because he wants Oscar so much it scares him.
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5. Hidden relationship, where they accidentally got married in Las Vegas after 2023 race and now they need to keep it in secret until they find the way to get an annulment.
When I say “secret relationship “ it’s their marriage. Before that they were in a… mess, because it was not even a situationship, but too much drinks and now they’re married.
I don’t do comedy, but this is basically, everything that could go wrong, goes horribly wrong.
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6. Oscar being Mark and Fernando’s daughter (she transitioned from male to female) and was adopted by the Piastri family a year after she was born. +20 years later, she’s a motoGP driver instead of a F1 driver.
She, of course, is still Logan’s friend (and sister thanks to Jenson, but that is another can of worms, part of the fic drama), so she goes to a F1 race after having a bad incident with Marc Marquez and Carlos is like “Marc could have won and she is the one to blame.”
Then Carlos crashes with Logan and Oscar is mad because “this was Logan’s race, everything in this sport is so unfair.”
So, when they met both are mad with the other (yes, it’s Spa, but with different flavor). They don’t fight because they’re not in the same sport, but “fuck him/her. They are so bad they should retire.”
(Cut this to both being drunk in the same bar by accident and having a one night stand both “regret” and praying to never met the other again. Just for them to meet time and time again because Fernando is a little shit and enjoys the drama they do each time they are together.
Of course, he doesn’t know Carlos is “doing” a lot of things to his sweet baby daughter every time they are alone. But Logan swore he would never say anything).
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7. 2021 Prema Oscar ends up playing “Marry, Kiss, Kill” with his teammates during and he picks Carlos, Charles and Seb as his options for the game. (They’re playing with Ferrari drivers only)
Carlos heard him and it’s been hanging over their heads the fact that Oscar jokingly (but also seriously) said he would pick Carlos, but Carlos never heard for what because he had a meeting so he needed to leave.
(This was based on the lyric of “so high school” from TS, where she says that she bets on all three for her and her lover. And Carcar definitely gives me those vibes)
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8. Prema Oscar meeting Carlos in 2021 and getting to date him. They keep their relationship hidden during 2022, but it’s harder for them to ignore each other once they’re together in formula one. So they decide to “beef” with each other to keep the other close without anyone noticing it.
The only ones who know about them are Charles, Logan and Fernando. Charles because Carlos is his teammate and it’s his fault (and Arthur’s) that they met. Logan because he’s Oscar’s best friend and knows him more than anybody else. And Fernando because him and Mark are like Oscar’s grid parents, and he knows Carlos too well, so he knew something was up (it’s not because he found them making out after Oscar revealed his contract with McLaren. Not at all.)
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9. Chatfic with Nico R. as Oscar’s adoptive brother (but more like a father figure) and Lewis as the “fun brother” (also Oscar’s father figure). And both of them panicking after Oscar starts to get the attention from different drivers.
Brocedes fixing their shit because they can hate each other, try to kill each other, but they will never allow their (son) sibling to be in a relationship with another driver. They know how messy that goes.
(Of course, Carcar is the endgame ship here)
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10. Modern Royal Prince! Oscar and just some guy Carlos. Carlos is just some guy how knocked up Prince Oscar (they were already together) so now he needs to show everyone he’s worth of being Oscar’s future husband.
(Carlos knew Oscar was a Prince but he thought it was a joke. That’s why he’s not mad with Oscar but with himself)
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11. Past lives AU. (Thanks to @carcarpodium)
Oscar and Carlos, always different lives, always different people. They are not lovers, never were. But they always cross paths somehow and Oscar is the only one how knows they do. He can feel Carlos’ presence when they are about to meet, so Oscar always know when he is back into his life.
People would call them soulmates. Oscar prefers to say they’re two dudes bumping into each other’s lives once per life. Of course, he doesn’t want to call what they don’t have like that.
Because Oscar always feeling when Carlos dies, he’s always at the scene, but never able to save him. Not even driving as fast as a plane can Oscar save Carlos. And he’s there, and he is always the first one to know, and how can he act like nothing if his heart is broken every time he sees Carlos die and someone dear to Oscar crying for him?
This life is no different, Oscar can feel him, all his emotions and thoughts are there for Oscar, but instead of letting him go, he decides to change things.
Oscar learns how to make Carlos feel better (using Lando or Charles at the start, because they’re not friends, but Oscar wants to make Carlos feel better all the time), and then Miami happens, and Oscar can feel Carlos wants to apologize but they’re not friends, so he doesn’t know how. So, Oscar is the one who does the first move.
This idea includes Senior mentoring Oscar so he understands this “power” and how to use it to protect Carlos.
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12. Carcar fluffy wedding AU. (This idea came to me thanks to @drsbutmakeitspicy )
Oscar asking the whole Sainz family for their blessing so he can propose Carlos first, because he knows Carlos will do it in a big fancy restaurant and will get down on his knee in the middle of it, capturing everyone’s attention. And he wants something private, only for them.
Then, after Oscar has their blessings, they have a family reunion with both families in the Sainz family’s farm and Carlos is unaware of what is going to happen because Hattie keeps showing him photos of baby Oscar.
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13. Carcar reading Carcar fics (I made two posts about this idea, so you can read more here and here.)
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14. Body swap Carcar (this was a collaborate idea with @drsbutmakeitspicy too)
Carlos and Oscar are rivals but are also in a situationship after Spa 2023. But the swap doesn’t happen until after Miami and they have 1 week before the next race (Imola).
While they are trying to change back both start exploring their new bodies and lives, trying to find something to use against the other. Because they can be a lot of things, but are rivals hungry for a win first and lovers/FwB/situationship second.
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15. Fem Singer!Oscar and Driver Carlos.
Oscar was a karting driver and got into England following that dream, but has an accident during a kart race and due to the injuries she cannot drive again.
In the middle of her pain she starts to play music, someone records her and she becomes popular really quick. So she decides to follow this new passion.
She invites Logan to one of her concerts and he brings Alex, who brings Lando and George, and Lando brings Carlos. And when they meet it’s like there was so much magnetism in the air. But then they say something that makes the other mad and they fight.
But destiny keeps bringing them together.
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16. Greek God! Oscar and Demigod Carlos forced marriage. (Have a longer post about this one, you can read it here.)
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17. Sad Mpreg One-Night-Stand Carcar
They had a one night stand and Carlos left before Oscar woke up. And when Oscar tried to talk to him Carlos acted like nothing happened between them, so Oscar goes away.
Then, Oscar feels sick during one of Logan’s visits when there’s no Indy race and they go to the doctor. They discover Oscar is pregnant and Logan has to promise he will not say anything to Carlos until Oscar is ready (if he ever is)
Then, during the Spanish GP (yes, it’s intentionally there) Oscar loses control of his car and has a bad crash. They take him to the hospital but some hours later the Australian is dead.
After the funeral Logan has a meltdown because he hears Carlos saying something to Lando about Oscar. He’s so mad with the Spaniard. His anger is not related to his lost seat or anything related jealousy. It’s related to his friend, his brother, his everything but lover. This is about Oscar’s sadness and heartbreak. About the nephew or niece Logan will never meet.
(This one has a good ending, believe me)
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18. Carlos as webbonso’s kid, being jealous of his father’s new favorite kid, Oscar.
Carlos was always closer to Nano, it was part of him and his favoritism for Spain. But, when Mark brought Oscar to the house, Carlos lost it. Why this kid was trying to take his father away from him!?
Meanwhile, Oscar is panicking, because “what do you mean the handsome guy I met years ago in Australia, who (by the way) was my bi awakening, is my boss’ son?!”
Featuring Logan as the worst best friend “So, instead of taking Mark’s offering of becoming his son, you can marry his son and become his son-in-law. Foolproof plan”
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I have more, but for now this are the ones shared. When the right time comes, I’ll do a poll to see which fic you want to read first.
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alazystranger · 9 months ago
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zolu fic recommendations? (i can take reading angst now)
Ooh, this is going to be bit of a long post. i have tried to include a mix of both angsty and otherwise.
*cracks knuckles* alright let's get down to it! I have included the summaries as given by the authors below the link.
let thy sword be thy tongue by queerweather. A personal favorite! I go back to this one a lot.
Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and Zoro is not afraid of Luffy handling his swords; Zoro is afraid of how Luffy handling his swords might unravel him.
Love you by willoffire123. Both angsty and sweet! Kind of like my comfort fic
When Luffy goes overboard one night during a winter storm, Zoro dives after him and the two are separated from their ship. Stranded on a winter island, slowly freezing to death, Luffy and Zoro come to realize their long dormant feelings for each other. Can they say their love in two words or less? Or will the winter island take their lives before they get the chance?
Loyal Till Death Do Us Part by StygianHeart. You said you can take angst now, anon? *cackles maniacally* this one has it all- whump luffy, traumatized zoro and what not. It has 13 chapters and it's absolutely worth it
Roronoa Zoro knows he’s loyal to a fault. And maybe that loyalty is only for his Captain and Crew. But realizing his loyalty for Luffy is also something more, something more personal and emotional, was not what Zoro wanted. And he definitely didn’t want the voices in his head to get so loud. But hey, we never get what we want, do we? In which Zoro figures out he’s in love with his captain and is in great denial, all while struggling through emotional repression and a bunch of shit he doesn’t deserve. Go figures.
running just to keep my hands on you by nevermordor. another fic i love to read again and again.
The thing they do is kind of like a game, because Luffy likes games, but it’s also kind of a competition because Zoro can’t not turn anything and everything into a competition. It doesn’t have a name and there are only two rules, because more than two would just be making things boring and overcomplicated. 1. Whoever takes out the most guys in a fight is the winner 2. Whoever is the loser has to do whatever the winner says “Why’s it gotta be a whole game and stuff," Luffy says. "That’s gonna take too long.” “It makes sex more fun," Zoro explains. "You gotta win it, you gotta earn it. Like anything good in life. Like pirate king or greatest swordsman.” Luffy considers this.
A gamble on love by SnailorBee. short and fluffy. had me grinning like an idiot. perfect fic to recover from the angsty ones.
Pre-Time Skip! "We have a bet amongst the crew, minus Chopper. You want in?" "A bet?" Brook repeated, mystified. "About what?" "If those two idiots are dating or not." Nami jerked her chin in the direction of the nap pile behind him. Strawhats and their bets about Luffy and Zoro.
To cut your teeth on love by freckledshoulderblades. basically a series of snippets from their first meeting to just after timeskip but full of zolu feels.
Zoro meets Luffy and gives himself over wholeheartedly the instant Wadō is placed between his teeth again. Luffy meets Zoro and decides in a heartbeat that Zoro is his.
poly philtatos(the most loved by far) by swordsmans. another personal favorite!
He keeps moving forward at a steady pace, resisting the urge to run because how fucking embarrassing would that be, running because he missed them, and as he breaks through the treeline he shouts, “Oi, oi—what took you guys so long? It's been—” And then he freezes, because yes, actually—something is very, very wrong. The Sunny is anchored just off shore, close enough to see the deck but far enough away that the crew has had to take the Mini Merry to make land. Scattered across the beach in various stages of chaos—rolling around, yelling, fighting—are his crew but not his crew, so similar and yet so, so different. They look younger, fresher, and whatthefuck there, on the deck of the Sunny just peering over the railing, he catches a flash of green—his own green hair— “Ah, fuck,” he grunts, and then immediately turns back around because no, actually, he does not want to deal with this.
These are a few of my picks. if you want more/shorter fics/if you were looking for something else, don't hesitate to send me another ask!
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rubyuji · 7 months ago
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The Reason for My Smile (Kim Mingyu) 🪡
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“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” ✮⋆˙
Genre: Angst, Fluff
AU: University!au, Nonidol!au
Pairing: Ex!Chan x Fem!Reader, Brother’s Best Friend!Mingyu x Fem!Reader (Literally Seungcheol’s younger sister)
Warnings: A bit of cursing, a break up over text but that’s about it.
Synopsis: Diving into a long-term relationship is scary for anyone for that matter, except the breakup from yours had left you traumatized because it happened over text. From then on you vowed to never wear your heart on your sleeve ever again, but your brother’s own best friend promised to change your perspective.
Note: My first ever Seventeen fic on this account, so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s definitely something! (Esp since I haven’t written in awhile). It used to be an Enhypen fic originally, but it took a lot of editing and proofreading, along with a lot of changes. Happy reading! Don’t forget to like + reblog! It would mean the world.
Word Count: 7.7k words (I’ve never written so much)
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Your relationship with Chan wasn’t precisely the dreamy or ideal relationship you had hoped for but as someone who had almost no experience, put that and being a people pleaser together, and you have whatever is left of your so-called relationship.
It’s not like Chan was a bad person or anything, the boy was quite the softie, so he’s probably just as overwhelmed as you were when it came to dating.
The latter part of the relationship consisted of you trying to understand him as best as you could, that was until inconsistencies started popping up a lot more.
Chan felt distant, he was more busy, despite the two of you being in the same major. That was the whole basis of your relationship after all. At the beginning of your relationship, it was sweet and full of the first times. Chan used to hold your hand, his other one holding your bag, as you would walk to the diner across campus and stay there for hours just talking about your day.
The soft gazes he’d give you whenever your eyes met, the flowers he’d give you on a random day, and the late-night calls wherein one of you ended up asleep. It was like a broken record that rewind itself during the late hours when you would start to question his love for you.
Those moments seem like old memories to you now as you see another apologetic text from your boyfriend. Another text where he promised to make it up to you and that he’d do better next time, it was starting to become a routine where you got stood up by him.
You wondered what on earth would keep your boyfriend so busy, especially when you both had ended up together because you took the same classes. You weren’t a slacker and always got your work done on time, so things weren’t adding up, especially when you both always tried to help one another.
The week after your midterms, you decided to visit your family and stay at home for a little bit.
Your family lived thirty minutes away from campus and you honestly couldn’t bother to make a drive that long every day, so you opted to stay in the dorms to save time, but on occasion, you would suck it up for a few days whenever your living space felt too tight.
Today was one of those days, but it felt a lot worse than you’d like to admit.
“Hey, I’m gonna go stay at my family’s for the weekend, and on Monday, just try not to make a mess here or anything.” You say to your roommate, Bora, who nods without looking at you.
Your roommate had an annoying habit of not looking at people whenever she was focused on her work, but you grew quite used to it and just shrugged it off after a few months.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I only ever have Chaeyoung or Hyewon over so no mess and no broken belongings. Have fun and say hi to Seungcheol for me if you see him, will you? Drive safe Y/n,” Bora finally turns to you from her bed and you laugh.
Seungcheol was a good brother and had a heart of gold, but you couldn’t handle your friends gushing over him in front of your face, it just felt weird when you grew up right beside him, the image of a younger Cheol picking his nose suddenly registering itself into your brain as you cringed.
You couldn’t care less about who he’d date though, it was none of your business, even as his little sister. As long as he didn’t end up hurt or hurting anyone, your brother was free to be with who he liked.
“Sure, I’ll leave a word when I see him. Tell me if anything comes up, and now I’ll get going! Bye, Bora!” You picked up your backpack and made the short walk to your car, ready to go home and lay on your childhood bed, which was admittedly more comfortable than the one you had in the dorm.
You text Chan about going to your family’s place, and the boy follows up with a thumbs-up emoji and an ‘I love you, stay safe’ text.
Your boyfriend didn’t have much to say anyway, and you were starting to grow bored with the way things were going. He probably felt the same way and you couldn’t blame him when you couldn’t keep your mouth shut either, since you seemed to be the only one exerting effort at this point.
He might even find you annoying now but didn’t have the heart to tell you because he was just that nice.
“Breaking up is honestly super tempting right now and I honestly can’t stand it anymore! It’s driving me mad, Cheol!” You whine as you stop at the intersection that leads into your neighborhood.
You didn’t mean to rub it in or anything, but you did live in a wealthier part of town, which explained the long drive home, and you were so glad to see the familiar area after a stressful trip.
It just so happened that halfway through the drive, your poor brother had to endure fifteen minutes of your rambling like some counselor even though he simply just wanted to check up on you.
“Y/n, just break up with him then, simple. It’s been months since you started telling me about how bad it’s getting, and honestly, I’m horrified to hear about what else is to come once you get here. I love you so much, really I do, but this boy is full of empty promises and lies,” Seungcheol sighs deeply.
The light turns green and you finally drive into your street, completely forgetting you were on the phone.
“Fuck don’t ignore me like that, I know how much you both liked your sweet puppy love phase, but get a grip Y/n. Chan is draining you, and he’s probably just as tired as you are. It’s time to stop hanging onto that year you both had,” You pull into your driveway and click your tongue.
Your brother was right, but it also killed you knowing you’d hate the thought of not having Chan around anymore. It was all easier said than done, especially when you felt incomplete without him.
“I see your ass in the driveway, Mom and Dad went out to get food so you have a fuck ton of explaining to do.” You see Seungcheol in the window and laugh before honking at him, scaring the living daylights out of him in the process.
“I’ll be in, like five. Let me get my bag ok? And tell Kkuma I’m here, I missed her.” You turn the engine off and grab your bag from the back, a wave of comfort and warmth washing over your form as you look at the house.
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“Anyways, I’ve been contemplating on wanting to break up with him because I think he’s tired of me and maybe I did become quite annoying. Unless I’m invalidating my feelings and gaslighting myself into thinking I’m the problem,” You go on.
At this point, it was past dinner time and you and Seungcheol were in your room, dressed for bed and still talking about your problems. Poor Kkuma looked ready to curl up beside you and sleep but was forced to stay awake because of how miserable you were over some boy.
Seungcheol grimaced and set down a makeshift bed for the poor dog to lie on before turning to look at you with a concerned expression. “I think the latter, but you can be the judge of that. Now-” Cheol was cut off by your phone chiming and you turned to look at who on earth was texting you at one in the morning.
Your face turns pale as you look at the screen, and this automatically worries your brother, but his expression immediately hardens as he knows who it could be from.
“It’s from him isn’t it?” You nod slowly, the tears starting to fall from your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and onto the comforter you were on. Every word hit you like a ton of bricks, you felt helpless.
From: Chanie ^^
I think we need to break up. This relationship is holding me back and it’s starting to feel like a chore, I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough for you Y/n. I started to grow bored and you irritated me to no end, I don’t even think we would work even if we tried. This is my last goodbye to you, I’m sorry again that it had to end this way but I’m still young and feel like I’m not ready for something as serious as this.
You showed Seungcheol the message, only then realizing that your number was also blocked, preventing you from saying anything more. You were appalled, to say the least, your mouth hanging wide open as choked sobs started to come out slowly.
A year, a year went to waste with the person you thought would understand you best, the person you thought would hold your heart close to his, only for him to break it. The person who did the most and still managed to disappoint you.
Seungcheol held you close and you cried into his chest, Kkuma was suddenly on the bed licking your face and the world fell still at that exact moment. The moment you vowed to never trust anyone with your heart ever again.
You were a mess the rest of the semester following the text, crying on the couch the entire weekend as Seungcheol tried to console you, along with your oldest brother, but nothing worked.
You did go to class as normal, but you completely shut everyone out and limited socializing to only your family and friends until after finals.
Your break was coming up, and you were honestly relieved, to say the least. Bora was on the other side of the room getting ready to go home to see her family as well, packing up everything on her side in the process, but then you heard her huff as a pillow hit your head, interrupting the silence that was shared.
“What the fuck Kim?” You whined, taking the pillow and hugging it. Bora plants herself on the spot next to you, you look at her with a frown as she laughs.
“I’m gonna miss you roomie, but I’ll visit you often either way since you’re technically my best friend now. Now stop frowning, Chan was an idiot for breaking up with you. How you managed to get through the rest of the semester, I will never know, but you should go put yourself out there again! There’s bound to be another guy ready to treat you better, so stop moping ok? I know it’ll be hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. Have a bit of fun with it,” You pout at Bora’s words.
She was right, but the breakup over a text fiasco left you traumatized. Chan wasn’t the best boyfriend, and you both had your moments, but you weren’t ready to trust someone again just yet.
What if it ends the same way, or even worse? What if you were too boring? Questions swirl through your mind but Bora snaps you out of it.
“Hey, take it easy. Let’s hang out over break, just us girls showing Chan what he’s missing out on! Can you believe he left you? You’re a gem Y/n, a lot more people want you than you think. Now hurry up and pack the rest of your things!” You take in Bora’s words and nod.
It would be hard, but taking baby steps and meeting new people wouldn’t hurt. No rushing into serious connections just yet.
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When you got home that day, you were happy enough to lay on your bed once again, all worries and concerns gone for the next few months. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door and see Seungcheol walking in. You raise your eyebrow at him and your brother chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if maybe we can hang out? Like all of your friends and mine,” Seungcheol looks down and plays with his fingers nervously. You were confused by his proposal but urged him to continue.
“Look, I like Bora and Minghao has this huge crush on Hyewon. Can you at least help us? Please? Look, I’ll take you shopping and even buy you food if I have to,” Your brother sounded like he was pleading almost so you really couldn’t help but feel bad.
“Cheol it’s ok, I’ll take you up on the shopping, now give me a date so I can tell the girls.” You smiled softly. Seungcheol punches the air and you laugh at his antics, you knew Bora also had the biggest crush on him so setting them up would be a breeze. Hyewon was a mystery you had yet to uncover though.
“I barely know your friends though, like I’ve met Jeonghan but who the hell is Minghao and how does he know about Hyewon?” Seungcheol lies down beside you on the bed and opens his phone, showing you a picture of him and three other guys.
Seungcheol then starts pointing out the two new faces to you. The lean and prince-looking one was Minghao and the tall, puppy-looking guy was named Mingyu. You couldn’t help but pay more attention to Mingyu, he was really attractive and you wanted to get to know him.
“Anyways, they’re the two new people in my frat. They’re super cool and like-” “Are you gonna bring Mingyu?” You cut him off mid-sentence, still in awe at Mingyu. Seungcheol’s brows knit and he rolls his eyes at you whilst you stick your tongue out at him.
“What happened to not dating? Come on Y/n, be serious,” You slap your brother’s face jokingly, the male screaming dramatically from beside you.
You didn’t want to get your heart broken again, but putting yourself out there wouldn’t hurt, as long as it didn’t get too serious, you were going to be ok.
“Shut up, it’s not like it’s gonna be a super serious thing just yet. Mingyu looks like a total hottie, I just wanna get to know him, have a little fun and get a bit of attention again,” You were ass at lying, so Seungcheol could only laugh at you.
“I trust you with him, Mingyu’s a very easygoing guy if that’s important to you. He’s also super single because he’s waiting for the right person,” he smirks at you.
Easygoing? And he’s waiting for the right person? On top of all that he’s cute and your brother trusts him with you? It sounded too good to be true.
You were happy for a moment, but doubts started to cloud your judgment once again. He sounded like a good guy, but how long until he turns into Chan and gets bored of you? It was starting to scare you again.
“Cheol, I don’t know-” Your brother gives you a serious look and sits up.
“I hope you understand that he’s not Chan, Y/n. Not all relationships are going to be like your last unless you try to take that leap. I promise you, he’s not a bad guy. Like, if he hurts you, I’ll hurt him because you mean a lot to me” You nod at Seungcheol, finally thinking positively and securely.
Not everyone is going to be like Chan, you knew that, but your memories and feelings for the boy held you back.
“Now, how does nineteenth sound?” Your brother asks you. You text your friends, immediately getting the green light from the three of them, Bora sounding the most excited.
“Perfect, and your girlfriend is just as excited as you are,” Cheol’s face turns a deep red before he runs out of your room in embarrassment, yelling about something along the lines of planning the perfect outfit. You guessed it was probably to impress Bora anyway, so you didn’t question him.
The silence of your room welcomes you once again and you are back into your thoughts. Mingyu sounded like a guy who would take someone seriously, maybe it’s just what you needed because guys your age didn’t have that much to go off of.
He was Seungcheol approved, and you told yourself that a million times, only because he hadn’t approved of anyone else but Mingyu. Chan could get past your parents and oldest brother, but not Cheol, so it was an odd situation to be in.
“I’ll figure it out later, right now, I need to sleep.” You put your phone off to the side and close your eyes.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure everything out once the nineteenth rolls around, both Seungcheol and Bora did say similar things, so maybe those two had a point. ‘No wonder they like each other, they’re the same person,’ you thought as the sleep took over.
Two days had passed and the dreaded day had rolled around much quicker than you had anticipated. As you put on light makeup, your friends are in the background screaming at each other throughout the entirety of your Facetime call because you all decided that it was a good idea to get ready together.
“Bora, it’s Seungcheol! He’s like Y/n’s male version so you don’t need to freak out that much! Now Y/n, show us the fit. You’re the only one who didn’t show us yet!” Hyewon whined over the phone.
“I’m wearing a gray long-sleeved, asymmetrical knit top, black skirt, and combat boots. For hair, I’m leaving it down and wavy, I don’t care much,” You say softly.
The girls suddenly burst out laughing as you put on your outfit, they didn’t seem to believe you one bit when you said you didn’t care because they knew you genuinely did care and tried not to.
“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” Your friends hum in agreement until you hear the door behind you open.
“Y/n— Are you calling your friends right now? We’re leaving in a minute because Mingyu’s driving so hurry your ass up will you. Also hi Bora! Hi Hyewon and Chaeyoung,” Seungcheol grins stupidly.
You roll your eyes at your brother for obviously singling Bora out and tell your friends that you are going to see them in a bit.
“Bye, Y/n! Have fun looking at your new boy toy driving, already a huge upgrade from Chan!” Wonyoung laughs.
You end the Facetime call with a roll of your eyes before turning to look at Seungcheol with an eyebrow raised. Seungcheol puts his hands up defensively before you both hear a car honking outside.
“Mingyu’s here, grab your bag, and let’s go!” You huff as your brother rushes you, he was practically itching to see his crush, and embarrassingly enough, you too were excited to meet Mingyu and Minghao.
With your bag in hand, along with your phone, you finally follow Cheol outside and see a Range Rover of the latest model in black. Damn, Mingyu was in a different league that was for sure.
Seungcheol opens the door for you as you head in. You see Jeonghan riding shotgun and Wonwoo in the back smiling at you. “Y/n! So happy to see you again, I think this is your first time meeting Mingyu and Minghao,” Jeonghan says from the front.
You squeeze in the center comfortably and nod. Wonwoo was cute, he greeted you politely and was very friendly, but when your eyes met Mingyu’s, you suddenly became quite flustered. He held a sharp gaze, the watch on his wrist not helping you in the slightest.
“The shopping center downtown right?” Seungcheol nods at Mingyu’s words, his deep voice causing you to flush. You prayed to whoever was up there that you would at least survive the day because the tension in the car with him was enough to drive you nuts.
“So Y/n, how’s that thing with Chan?” You freeze up when Jeonghan suddenly brings up your ex, but you forget not everyone knew about the devastating breakup over text.
“We broke up over text...” You reply awkwardly. Jeonghan gasps as your brother runs his palm down his face, he knew better than anyone not to bring up Chan during the time you were still trying to move on.
“Hyung, give her a break. Sounds like it must’ve been rough, I’m sorry about that. He seems like a shitty guy, breaking up with you over text? Are you sure this isn’t a sitcom Y/n?” Mingyu speaks up as he looks at you from the rearview mirror. You feel your cheeks heat up slightly, nodding in embarrassment, but for some reason, you were shocked upon hearing Mingyu’s words.
Wow, he really picked Chan apart in a way you wouldn’t ever dare to. His bluntness snapped you right back to reality and you could hear Minghao chuckle from beside you. “What’s so funny?” You raise a brow at the boy.
“Mingyu hasn’t been this disheartened over anything in a while, it’s crazy that he’s already scrutinizing your ex based on how you broke up,” Minghao explains. Mingyu glares at him and huffs, looking so done and just ready to explain himself.
“Listen, in my personal opinion, I think breaking up with a long-term partner over text is stupid and a cowardly move. There were so many other ways he could have gone about it but over text? At least call or something instead, it’s super disrespectful towards your partner to leave them hanging without proper closure.” Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the reason behind his agitation.
So far, Mingyu was seriously proving you wrong the more he opened his mouth to say something, but you still weren’t ready because what if he’s even worse? The feeling still lingers and it’s almost like the ghost of your ex is not letting you go just yet.
“Mingyu’s right, I thought you both had something to be fair. Seeing how puppy love was just a phase makes me think I was quite wrong, you deserve better. Like Mingyu here for example! He’s very single and is looking for the right person, which could be you.” Jeonghan jokingly says.
You notice Mingyu’s ears turn red as he pulls into the shopping center. The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, everyone stunned at the oldest’s proposition. You and Mingyu had just met, what was he on about with you being his possible partner? It was crazy.
After Mingyu had parked his car, you all made your way toward your designated meeting spot. You could see Cheol and Minghao freeze up upon seeing Bora and Hyewon, causing a laugh to make its way out of your throat.
“Y/n! Over here!” The girls beckoned you over as you purposely ran in their direction to tease the guys.
It was a day to bring them together was it not? Yet you still took the opportunity to tease the boys as you wished. It was pretty funny to look at their reactions knowing they liked your friends.
“Hi guys, I brought Cheol and Jeonghan. The newbies are Minghao and, Mingyu” You say with a pause. Your friends squeal wildly at the mention of Mingyu’s name, shoving you with their elbows as you all laugh.
“Minghao is so cute actually, is he single by any chance?” Hyewon smirks, eyeing the male up and down.
You giggle and nod, your friend had no idea that the said boy was here for her, which made your job of setting them up much easier. Your work was basically cut out for you the moment they laid their eyes on each other.
“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know in a bit. For now, let’s all focus on having fun today shall we?” You sling your hand over Bora’s shoulder, not noticing Mingyu’s intense stare at your form. Seungcheol and Jeonghan notice the action, causing the two of them to nudge the boy playfully.
“Bro, go shoot your shot. There’s so much tension between the two of you, I hope you know that” Cheol laughs.
Mingyu shakes his head at his words profusely, there was no way he was going to overstep a boundary, even if it was Seungcheol himself encouraging it.
You notice the boys talking amongst themselves but decide to shrug it off, they were probably planning their moves on your friends, but how do you tell them that they didn’t even need to try that much? They all seemed to like each other after all.
Between Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s continuous pestering, Mingyu had felt your gaze on them, causing his cheeks to grow hot. You were really pretty, and that goes without saying, but you had just gotten out of something long-term.
The time needed to heal you first, or at least that’s what he thought, since his mom had always taught him to be patient with the ones he loved or cared about.
“Give her time guys, I don’t think I can just rush in like that. Y/n came out of a slightly traumatizing event, so if you jump right in, it will only push the person away further. I should be friends with her at most while we’re still getting to know each other,” Mingyu makes eye contact with you and notices how you quickly avoid his eyes.
The day had gone by quite smoothly since then, each of you dispersing into little pairs after a while because your friends couldn’t seem to help themselves, which is what led you to where you were now. In a store, with Mingyu, picking out clothes for him to try on.
You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not style your brother’s hot friend, even though Mingyu himself already had impeccable fashion taste?
You bite your lip as you focus on the outfit, visualizing what it would look like on Mingyu, and how you could coordinate everything.
Mingyu thought it was adorable with how much thought and focus you had decided to put in when you were only doing this for fun, he ultimately decided to buy the outfit once he was done trying it on.
“Here, sorry I took so long. I haven’t styled anyone since my ex and my older brother, so this is the best you’re gonna get for now,” You handed him the items in your arms and pushed him toward the fitting rooms, eager to see how well you did.
“It’s no problem because you did put the time and effort into styling me, I might go ahead and buy it if it does end up being my style,” Mingyu smiles at you softly.
He was sweet, you had to admit. It wasn’t like Chan had noticed you putting effort into styling him so a little affirmation made your heart swell.
“You don’t have to, I kind of play around with it. I bet you will look good since you seem like you’d look good in anything” You admit shyly.
Mingyu was fun to be around, even if it was your first time meeting, you already felt as if you had known the man for a while. All around Mingyu was just considerate and one of the best people you could’ve ever met.
“Yeah, sure you do, I know you put a lot more effort either way. Let me try this on now, otherwise, I’d be too distracted looking into your eyes. Give me a minute and I’ll show you how it looks,” You nod as Mingyu closes the curtain, only then taking in what he had said to you. He was not being serious but was so smooth with how he flirted with you just now.
A minute had gone by and you heard Mingyu call your name, so you made your way over, only to find your heart nearly falling out of your ass the moment you saw him. He looked so good, great even, and you couldn’t help but stare.
Mingyu adorned a white shirt underneath a black zip-up jacket, adding detail by zipping up the bottom of it, and light-wash jeans. It was a really simple outfit, but you had to admit, he did tie the whole look together.
“How does it look? I think you did well honestly, I’ll buy the entire outfit right now. Let me go change so we can go meet up with the others,” Mingyu smiles.
You were amazing at what you did, it impressed him how you were able to pull such an outfit together in just a few minutes.
“I think it looks great, I’m flattered you like it so much that you’d buy it right now. Maybe I can style you again if there is a next time?” You reply shyly. You couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he looked so good.
From that moment on, Mingyu made it his mission to heal your heart and prove to you that you deserved a second chance at being treated better.
He had come to your house quite often and taken you out a few times, so much to the point that everyone around you started noticing that you were almost always with each other.
“You know what, this is the happiest I’ve seen you. Your relationship with Chan started to strain and you had become more dull and miserable, but being around Mingyu gave you a new kind of glow for some reason,” Chaeyoung quips.
You tilt your head in confusion, you liked his company but you hadn’t noticed any other changes.
“He’s great, but I’m still hesitant. You know how I am, as I get he’s not Chan, but who knows how everything would play out in the long run?” You say sadly.
Mingyu was more than amazing, he respected your wishes not to have a relationship, but still treated you in ways people could only dream of, but in his words, he was ‘courting’ you, something people don’t do much these days.
He was attentive, took care of you well, and would always be there for you no matter what. He truly was the real definition of being ‘one call away’. This was all so new to you, even being courted was something totally out of the ordinary.
“Y/n, he’s courting you. Not enough people willingly do that these days, so you have the guy wrapped around your finger. He’s patiently waiting for an answer from you, like do you remember everything you’ve told us?” Hyewon huffs out from above you as she is doing your hair.
It was girl’s night and you had decided to bring up your worries and updates to your friends, but you had forgotten the fact that you had also told them the details about your escapades with Mingyu.
From where you would go to what you did, down to the time he took you home, and if Seungcheol truly did approve of him.
“Did Chan ever actually think about how you felt in a certain situation? You know besides you telling him it’s ok and all? Usually being together with someone for over a year would allow you to read them better, but Chan barely knew your little habits. Bora took them in after a month of knowing you, which is concerning. Now on to Mingyu, what did he say that one time?” Chaeyoung snaps her fingers and you instantly know what she is talking about.
You came home one day and had gone the whole day without eating. You were out with your parents and they hadn’t considered if you were hungry or not since they were busy and had already eaten, so when you got home, you quietly slipped next to Mingyu in the living room after seeing the guys watching a movie.
“Hey, you’re home. How was spending the day with your parents?” Mingyu whispers from beside you. You shrug and he gives you a look that encourages you to tell him more.
“I hadn’t eaten anything, but honestly it’s ok now since I’m not hungry at all…” You trail off.
Mingyu shakes his head and takes his phone out, but you go over to stop him. He shouldn’t spend anything on you, and you already told him you weren't hungry so you felt as if you were only bothering him.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” You see your favorite restaurant on the delivery app on his phone and blush. Did he remember your favorite restaurant and order? That was sweet of him.
“No it’s ok I can manage,” You pretended not to see him already inputting the order and paying for it, but you still couldn’t help it when your stomach growled loudly. Mingyu raises a brow at you as you chuckle awkwardly.
“I’m getting you food, I know you’re hungry” Mingyu laughs. You hit his shoulder but thanked him gratefully for even thinking of you, it was a small gesture but it still meant a lot.
“How about that time he got you flowers for no reason?” Bora says while laughing.
You roll your eyes, she was the first person you had freaked out to over the phone because Mingyu had gotten you a bouquet of roses on a random Thursday with Seungcheol.
“What’s this?” You ask as Mingyu sets down a bunch of fresh roses wrapped in brown paper on the counter in front of you. Cheol and Mingyu had just gotten back from grocery shopping for your mom and then Mingyu came back with flowers, of course, you would be confused.
“I got you flowers because we saw them on the way out, and I thought you'd like them” Mingyu started taking out the groceries from the bags as your brother walked in with the last batch from the car. You flick Cheol’s forehead, but the older male can only smirk and laugh at you.
“Why? There’s no occasion,” You try to excuse, but you couldn’t hide how flustered you were.
Mingyu had thought of you while they were out? He did mean it when he said he wanted to treat you better.
“Can I not get you flowers even if there’s no occasion? Y/n, you don’t need to ask or have a reason to receive flowers, I hope you know that. I’m surprised this hadn’t been done for you more often than not” Mingyu’s back was still turned toward you, which you were thankful for because you probably looked like a tomato at that moment.
That night poor Bora had to endure an earful from you, just because Mingyu was a great guy who treated you the way you deserved.
Thinking back at those moments, you could only see the good in Mingyu, so you wanted your friends’ approval. He was already brother and parent-approved so that only left your best friends.
“Well, do you guys think I should finally give him an answer? It’s been a few months, and even if I am scared, I can’t let this chance go.” Hyewon finishes up your hair and pats your head, signaling her answer. You look at the others, who only grin back at you and you laugh.
“Y/n, he’s been a green flag since the beginning. It’s a good opportunity knowing he’s the type that’s ready to settle down,” Bora also brings up.
Seungcheol had always emphasized that Mingyu was a date-to-marry and long-term relationship kind of guy, which makes sense as to why you were one of the first people he had ever been super serious with when it came to dating.
“You guys are always the best, I’m glad everyone around me approves. I mean, I won’t know until I try right?” Chaeyoung hugs you and you sigh in content.
You were finally moving on, you were finally healing. It felt fulfilling in a sense, and knowing you were finally starting a new chapter with a great person, you felt as though your life was finally turning out for the better.
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After a chaotic girls’ night, you had called up Mingyu to meet you at your favorite cafe that the two of you frequented. You were quite nervous, to say the least, but you were ready to take this huge step of moving on with the person who treated you right.
You hear the bell of the cafe chime, and you finally see the person you were expecting. Mingyu walked in, his hair down in its usual state, and in a casual but comfortable outfit.
He looked like he had just come from the gym. Your heart raced at how good he looked, he always did look his best whenever he came to see you, and you always appreciated the effort.
Mingyu spots you and walks over with a wide smile. He was always so damn charming, you couldn’t believe he was all yours. He pulls out the seat in front of you and plops on it, his attention fully on you. ‘Attentive as always, I don’t deserve you,’ you thought.
“You wanted to talk?” Mingyu finally breathes out upon seeing you. You nod and take his hands in yours, you were going to tell him how you finally felt because he deserved an answer. He had already done so much for you, the least you could do was show him that all his efforts were finally paying off.
“I think I’m ready to give you my answer. The past few months you had decided to court me and I’m thankful you were patient enough to wait for my answer. You’ve proved to me that relationships aren’t limited to how I and my ex went about ours and that if a guy wanted to do something, he would. So my answer is already set, I’ll be your girlfriend, Gyu.” You look up at him, only to see Mingyu grinning like an idiot.
He was elated, he finally got the answer he was waiting for and you saying yes only made it a hundred times better. Mingyu fully understood how much your last relationship had affected you, so he only made it a point to court you, knowing you weren’t ready for a commitment just yet.
He wanted you to be ready for him to love you and treat you the way you deserved, so he didn’t push it and waited for you to come around on your own, which you did.
“You have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear you say that. Y/n, I’m so glad you gave me the chance to love you and care for you. I’m glad you gave me the chance to prove myself to you. I promise I will not hurt you in any way at all, and I promise to be as communicative as possible with my feelings so that you don’t end up in the dark. I want you to know everything because you deserve it,” Mingyu admits, not breaking his gaze on you.
“Mingyu, you’re everything I could’ve ever asked for. I don’t know what else to say. The past few months I’d been so scared to love again, to give a relationship another chance, but you’ve proved me wrong and even waited for me to be ready. You don’t understand how much that means to me,” You continue to fidget with his hands, but then he suddenly takes yours and places a kiss on your knuckle.
You blush at the action, you weren’t used to feeling or receiving this kind of affection since it had been quite some time, but with Mingyu, you weren’t afraid of anything, because you trusted him as much as he trusted you.
Needless to say, even months after you had given Mingyu an answer, he remained the same and still acted like he was courting you.
The only difference? He was finally your boyfriend and you were finally his girlfriend. You felt how serious he was about you when he had even introduced you to his parents, and they were just as lovely as their son was.
“Mom wants to go shopping with us on her birthday this weekend, I told her I would take her on a birthday date but she insisted you come along. She loves you that much already,” Mingyu chuckles as he walks into your room, fresh out of the shower. You laugh, his mom was the sweetest person, and you finally understand where your boyfriend gets it from.
“I’m down if she’d like, but you’re not getting me anything ok? You already spoil me enough and I don’t want you to spend too much–” You squeal as you feel Mingyu’s arms around you, the two of you falling flat on the bed.
Before you two could move from your position, you heard a knock at your door. It was Seungcheol, and you immediately pulled away from Mingyu once you saw him, still flustered and embarrassed from the previous action.
“Hey, if you two are going to be in the house, at least have some decency while I’m here!” Your brother whines.
You laugh and see him let Kkuma in the room. She had been with Cheol the whole day, so you and your siblings usually took turns spending time with the dog. You were the sibling in Kkuma’s night shift, meaning you had to take the dog in for the night since she liked sleeping in your room.
You thank Cheol for letting Kkuma in and bid your brother goodnight. Once the door closed, you looked over to see your boyfriend on the floor with Kkuma laying on her back.
“Hey, that’s my dog! Kkuma, you can’t just steal my boyfriend like that, and Gyu you can’t just do that to my child!” You joke. They looked perfect, and suddenly you start to imagine what your little family with Mingyu would look like.
Mingyu was the perfect partner to settle with, after all, he was caring and dependable, but also super honest and was not afraid to show or express how he felt. He just knew whenever you weren’t up to do something, or if something was bothering you.
“Is something wrong?” Mingyu noticed that you were more quiet than usual today because you almost always told him about your day. He noticed how your smile hadn’t reached your eyes and how you were fidgeting with your fingers more.
“It’s nothing” You tried to brush it off, but truthfully, you weren’t doing well. You just didn’t have the strength to let him know or the strength to explain how you felt, all you wanted to do was rest and go to sleep.
“Y/n, you can tell me anything ok? Be as open as you want to be, I’m always here for you and will not judge you no matter what. If you don’t have the energy to tell me, it’s ok. Just rest here” You feel his arms being wrapped around you as he strokes your hair. The action was small but it helped you ease up a lot.
“It’s hard Gyu, I don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t have the energy to stress over anything right now,” You whisper. Mingyu rocks you back and forth, still playing with your hair as he places kisses on your forehead.
“Whatever it is you’re going through, I hope you know that I’m proud enough that you decide to wake up every day and do everything with a smile, even if the world has wronged you. you’re so brave and amazing Y/n, please do not ever doubt yourself” Mingyu replies softly.
“Gyu, you don’t understand how much your words have helped me” You kiss him softly. You felt so lucky to have him, he was beyond the best partner you had ever been blessed with.
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“Mingyu, could I ask you something?” You say suddenly. The two of you were at his parent’s place since Mingyu had decided to take you to his childhood home in Anyang as a gift for your four-month anniversary.
“Mhm?” He hummed, putting down a plate of food on the coffee table in the living room, and sitting next to you on the couch.
“Why haven’t we said I love you to each other at any point in our relationship just yet? The others have asked me about it, but I just can’t come up with an answer to get them to leave me alone,” you whine. Mingyu laughs and kisses your cheek gently.
“Tell them that saying I love you isn’t easy when it comes to us, you haven’t said it either so we’re simply making sure that I can say it when the time is right. It’s not that I don’t or anything, but those words aren’t exactly an easy thing to just pop out there. The time will come when we can both say it meaningfully. Right now, we are still early into our relationship and have a lot to learn. I hope you understand where I’m coming from” he tells you.
It wasn’t that hard to understand what he meant. Mingyu had always been more careful, even if he didn’t say I love you, he still affirmed you and expressed his love for you in his actions.
Loving someone still comes in many forms, so the words I love you could wait because they should come from a place where you both fully understand and can comprehend how meaningful the three words are.
“I honestly think the same way, in a sense, I’m glad you’re honest about how you feel because I’ve been in a place wherein I was pressured into doing the action just because it was normal for everyone else, but not all of us are the same. Thank you, Gyu, you’re always the best with words.” Mingyu holds you close and you both sigh in content.
He wanted to treat you better, and he did. He wanted to show you better, and he expressed it in the best way possible.
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© rubyuji 2024’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.
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yinyuedijun · 5 months ago
Text
end notes for zero-sum game (tw: slavery, sexual abuse)
hi if you're here it means you read my deranged aventurine smut. thank you for reading that abomination lmao I hope you enjoyed it 😭 once again I've touched on really sensitive topics and don't want to be misread so I'm writing some disclaimers/explanations below:
In the act of gambling with human stakes, as well as doing business with human traffickers, Aventurine is essentially himself engaging in human trafficking. This is not something he particularly enjoys doing or wishes to exploit (which I did try to indicate in the narrative); he only does this for his role with the IPC. 
The reason I made this a narrative about human trafficking is not because I wish to glamorize this crime. I framed the narrative this way because I wanted to point out how Aventurine actively perpetuates the kind of capitalistic violence that ruined his life by being a Stoneheart. This is something that is implicit in the game but not openly explored, hence I expanded on it here.
Somewhat thematically related: the reader actively engages in self-objectification—using it neutrally as a tool for their espionage work at times, but also positively in order to eroticize their one-sided and exploitative relationship with Aventurine. This was not intended to condone the objectification of human beings; rather, I wanted to show how a lifetime of sexual objectification and extreme dehumanization as a slave has led them to objectify and dehumanize themselves, sometimes even in the capacity of enjoying it. 
Aventurine in canon similarly engages in self-objectification and dehumanization as a trauma response  (i.e. he refers to himself as a chip in a positive manner, clearly as a reaction to how his owner referred to him callously as a chip when he was a slave), though in my opinion he's not really implied to derive any real joy from the idea.
Related to the point of objectification: Aventurine and the reader clearly do not engage in particularly safe, sane or consensual sexual dynamics (specifically referring to how he started undressing them before they fully consented to public sex and just kind of decided what to do with them without prior discussion). This is not because I think this is acceptable behaviour; it is a reflection of their unequal power dynamic that the reader actively encourages and Aventurine is fine with perpetuating. It is also implied to be the result of his own distorted relationship with sex—he has literally been coerced into doing exactly the same thing in the very same establishment, and assumed that the reader would be fine with doing it too because they generally enjoy it when he exercises "ownership" over them, which they both associate with sexual control for traumatic reasons.
I've seen discourse around the fandom where people interpret the act of kissing Aventurine’s commodity code as a purely sexual or fetishizing action. I thus feel compelled to explain that the act of Aventurine and reader kissing each other’s codes in this story served a specific purpose within the wider narrative about dehumanization. I wrote a lot of things in this fic purely because I was ungodly levels of horny for Aventurine (lol), but those particular actions actually had narrative weight lol 
With all this being said, I hope it is clear that the reason I chose to focus on themes of slavery and dehumanization is not because I intend to promote or glamorize them, but because I wanted to explore specific points of Aventurine’s characterization that exist in canon. The theme of sexual abuse (and its psychological fallout) is also something that is a natural extension of his story arc in canon. I have no wish to perpetuate any of these things, and I have faith that my audience can distinguish fiction from reality and thus will not have their perspectives on real life issues be seriously influenced by my dumb horny fic on tumblr dot com. 
Also I should hope this is obvious but do not use your regular everyday gloves to finger someone! I like to imagine that Aventurine’s expensive science fiction gloves has the incredible ability to remain sterile in everyday circumstances 👍
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