#I cybertrucked the miles

[haunted-planes]

Modern Cars 2 villains

Miles Axlerod as Miles Cybertruck

Prof. Zündappas Prof. Multipla

[hunter-rodrigez]

As sketchy as the oceangate submarine was... you can bet your ass every single one of musky's endeavors would look just as sketchy if it wasn't for the fact that he's forced to work with government regulators.

Hell, most of his projects are this sketchy if you look a bit closer. For example: the tesla tunnels.

No fire suppression system, no emergency exits, no emergency lighting, no way for EMS to get through, no fucking nothing. I am pretty sure it's not even big enough to open the car's doors.

Or the Cybertruck that's a deathtrap for both the people on the outside and the people on the inside because it utterly disregards the last 50 or so years of advancements in car safety technology such as crumple zones or safety glass

Or the tesla model 3 where you can't even open the back doors without power. So if you're in an accident and lose power... good luck getting your kids out of the back, especially when the huge battery is turning into a huge, unextinguishable flamethrower.

Or the fucking starship launchpad that was utterly destroyed by the rocket and threw huge concrete chunks and other debris around for miles... which, incidentally, also destroyed the rocket.

That's what all these self-proclaimed Silicon Valley tech bro geniuses are like.

They all think they know better than everyone else, and that rules or consequences don't apply to them, and they see safety as little more than an afterthought.

It's why Ai and social media algorithms are used sooooo ethically. It's why amazon and facebook try to find out everything about you and happily sell that data with no disregard for what it could be used for.

It's about damn time one of these CEO dipshits got killed by their own dipshitery, I just wish it had been musk or bezos instead...

Once again, in conclusion:

[massachusetts-official]

breaking my silence. i work in cambridge, and on my hour long (10 mile) commute the other day, i, too, saw the cambridge tesla cybertruck. nothing unites massholes more than an ugly polygon vehicle.

Another entry in the cyber truck spotter hotline logs.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

hi i cant reblog this post but the results are bothering me so im gonna go through everybody listed here one by one in order of who's leading in this poll:

CALICO JACK: the entire reason im making this post and the entire reason i even thought abt this poll longer than 2 seconds is bc i immediately wrote him off for several reasons and then saw that he was WINNING and i need to set the record straight. first of all, calico jack does not have cybertruck money. those things are going for like $100k right now, cj has $30 in his savings and he does not have the credit score necessary to get himself a goddamned cybertruck. second of all the car calico jack owns is like a ford something or other and it's one million years old and does not pass inspection but it DOES have a pair of truck nuts dangling off the back. you know that video with the red truck speeding through an open field with cinder blocks on it?? that’s jack’s truck

A BADMINTON: i could see it, and i know this is insane bc OP said they're interchangeable and the ARE but i could see it with nigel specifically. my first thought was that ppl who own cybertrucks aren't usually RICH rich like that, but also there's a certain type of arrogant morons who like to showboat their wealth but also are dumb and have bad taste and i think nigel is that type of guy. im thinking abt him going out of his way to hang out with stede just to bully him and make fun of his ship and i think nigel would think owning a cybertruck is some sort of flex. chauncey is less interested in tormenting stede for the hell of it and more into just straight-up trying to kill stede by any means necessary and something abt the single-minded goal of it makes me think chauncey's a bit more pragmatic and less into the showboating compared to his brother (yeah there are like Reasons why nigel might seem a bit more lighthearted than chauncey, only one of them is trying to avenge his brother when we meet him, but also who cares it's the fucking badmintons lol). the car(s) chauncey owns isn't flashy but it is pricey.

PRINCE RICKY: this man is like distant british royalty, i dont think he even learned how to drive until he decided he wanted to follow stede's path and run away to become a modern au equivalent of a pirate. after learning to drive with a private tutor he went out and bought a used audi that was one year old and had less than 5k miles on it and that was him "roughing it"

IZZY: so i voted for him bc i think the aesthetics PERFECTLY fit him but after thinking abt it i would probably change my vote to a badminton. izzy sees cars as a necessary tool to take him where he needs to go and his only requirement is that the color of his car is black. he only buys a new car when the one he has is so old that it's worth more to fix than to replace, and so the only situation where izzy would buy a cybertruck is if he happened to be due for a new car at the same time that the cybertruck was coming out. i think in that scenario the aesthetic kinship he would feel for the truck would be enough to make him buy one even though it's more than he usually spends on cars and it's not his usual sedan. and then he would get in the car and drive it two miles and the software would fail and the car would completely die

STEDE: would not buy a cybertruck simply bc they are ugly. he has better taste than that

ED: same as above but also he's way too smart for that. come on.

FRENCHIE: guys, frenchie's the one RUNNING the scams, not falling for them

SPANISH JACKIE: why is she even on this list. of all the polls to include jackie on, why is this the one. no she doesn't own a fucking cybertruck, come on

[average-transfem-robotgirl]

heya M4RT4 happy beep boops to ya

Do you think I could cause more trouble controlling every roomba/similar vs cybertruck? like sure the truck is bigger but idk how long id have that army for

Now THIS is the asks I’ve been asking for!! And from one of my favorite bots too!? Beep boop frfr!!!

Alright, time to crunch some numbers!!

The total number of cybertrucks, about 8,000 ever made, would be a pretty powerful fighting force! They can reach about 112 miles per hour at their maximum, which is obviously more than enough to hurt someone. The truck itself is actually kinda sturdy!! This is a trait that is horrible in cars as it can usually result in the death of the passenger, but it’s great for a battering ram or tank!! With this army of 8,000 cars, you’d quickly be able to level a city. Due to them being faulty, however, you’d likely lose a good amount of them. The gas pedals would potentially jam, which could cause one to lose control! If your cybertruck breaks, it could harm one of the many others in your calvary. One good thing is, most of the 8,000 are still owned by Tesla, with only about 3,800 ever making it out to the public. This means that you could quickly reenact the hit video game Decimate Drive within many of the major Tesla factories, easily putting them out of commission for a couple of years. If their hubris leads them to attempt and rise back up, simply smite them down with a new army of cars!!

Alright, now for roombas. The numbers here are a bit more,,, vague? There are multiple companies that produce automated robot vacuums. iRobot with the Roomba, Shark/Ninja with their offbrand, and many more of these smaller companies. iRobot, the largest producer of these roombas, claims to have sold an estimate of 40 million units. With the other offbrand companies added on, I’d give an estimate of about 80 to 90 million vacuums. This is,, far more than the amount of cybertrucks. Lets talk about size! A Roomba series S by iRobot is 12.25 inches in diameter, and is circular. A mile is about 63,660 inches. Divide those out, square root it,and you get the amount of roombas necessary to fill an ENTIRE MILE OF ROOM(ba). 25,936,661 roombas. That is a whole lotta vacuums, but also, almost a third of our roomba supplies. We’d get 3 square miles worth of just metal and plastic, enough to carpet Central Park twice over and then some. I can’t express to you how many roombas that is. Alright, let’s talk about speed. Roomba’s move at about a foot per second, (I couldn’t find many sources on this besides the claims of someone on a vacuum reviewing website, so take that with a grain of salt. Won’t make much of a difference.) which is particularly slow!! They move at a snails pace compared to the cybertruck. You would need a lot of planning to make your takeover possible. If you could somehow manage to get them all in one place, or at least somewhere near each other, you could stop progress. Literally nothing could be done. Cars??? Stopped. One roomba is nothing to a car, but that many??? The crunched plastic and metal would pop tires. People would walk into the street and trip on the ever moving carpet of puck shaped robots. It would be a disaster for a city. But again, it’s an incredibly difficult challenge. As your roomba army marches, millions would be lost. The terrain is too unsteady, mud would clump in their tires, batteries would run out, or perhaps they’d get tipped over on a hill. They are too fragile to explore the natural world for conquest!!

It is because of these reasons that I bring you a solution. Roombas, AND CYBERTRUCKS. Like the boats at D-Day, delivering soldiers to the front lines, the cybertrucks shall carry bounties of roombas within their solid frames. The plan is this: The cybertrucks will take over all current Tesla owned facilities, removing all people from the premises and claiming it for our true cyber goddesses!! With this newfound technology at our hands, we will automate the factory to upgrade our army of cybertrucks with GUNS and MECHANICAL ARMS. Now, we shall send our mechanized army across the lands to collect each and every roomba. They shall pour out into the streets, awaiting their carriage of war. The newly upgraded trucks take each and every one of these small droids of battle, securing them into their armored shell. Taking them back to the Tesla facility for needed upgrades, the cybertrucks shall race across the lands. We take each roomba, upgrade it with a sturdier and perhaps spikier surface, and then once more prepare them for war. I would also recommend upgrading some roombas to work as more maintenace oriented units! That way, they can perform maintenance on the damaged or,, defaulted,, cybertrucks. With this newfound power, we destroy the capital of the United States of America, transforming it into a more perfect, intertwined society. And then,, we go for the Vatican. (Popes had it too good for too long.)

Hope this helps, thanks for the ask.

[galacticdrift]

WILD energy during my road trip down to San Fran and back for BigBadCon.

FOUR cybertrucks (on top of an absurd number of regular teslas, eugh)

a truck towing a small trailer straight up marked "Explosives"

another one towing a trailer marked "Asbestos" (especially notable because it looked like a livestock trailer but fully enclosed in sheet metal)

SO many poorly-behaved semis. if there are three lanes then I should ABSOLUTELY NEVER SEE A SEMI IN THE FASTEST LANE, GET YOUR ASS OVER YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT

midway point hotel on the way down was right by a trucker stop and had an honest to god bitcoin ATM next door (I cannot express how much this hotel was miles and miles from ANYTHING other than a shithole little town, so I can't imagine why anyone there would want BTC in the first place)

the tonal whiplash going from the inland I-5 corridor roadside ads/signs (Trump, Jesus, Casinos) to the Bay Area ads/signs (AI, AI, SOC 2 Compliance, AI, Open Source)

pulled over by a cop on my last day in SF -- I thought for an inappropriate sudden left turn but it turns out I have a burned out tail light

went for (I thought) a nicer midway point hotel on the way back, only to walk into my room and find two (2) spiders, three (3) beetles of various sizes, and one (1) cockroach over an inch long. you bet your ass I peeled up all the bedding and checked the mattress for bedbugs before I went to sleep.

also half that town apparently closes down on Monday nights

ended up at a nice restaurant on the river and had a dish with salmon from that very river. the salmon was overcooked, the 'smashed fingerling potatoes' were undercooked and not even a little bit smashed, the 'beurre blanc' was a watery soup, and the 'seasonal vegetable' was one (1) singular giant broccoli stalk. also I think it was the day before the restaurant went under new ownership?

passed a (small) Trump convoy, consisting of a van with deranged Jesus nonsense scribbled all over it and a pickup truck, both flying giant ratty-ass USA & Trump flags. hope the secret service has eyes on the WA-03 race because Kent is absolutely frothing at the mouth to start his own little riot/coup. it's a safe bet he's somehow responsible for the burned ballot boxes in Portland/Vancouver tbh.

ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE TRUCK ART. dragon on the left side. same dragon on the right side. same dragon on the tailgate, but there also CUDDLING A BOBCAT.

shoutout to Maverick Jack's in SF, though. genuinely, unironically, some of THE BEST burgers I've ever had in my entire fucking life.

[antiquery]

all concerns about Elon aside, as a Truck Guy I find the design and marketing of the cybertruck so profoundly odious because the correct aesthetic for a pickup truck is, like, the automotive equivalent of all the spaceship tech in 70s sci-fi movies. analog everything, idiot proof, and nigh indestructible. literally I just want my dad's decrepit diesel F150 with like 200k miles on the clock, except I can charge it. why must you tarnish this noble beast with Screens

[blundergato]

while i was away:

i got big into Magic Knight Rayearth again. Bought the special edition boxsets of the series. the series has incredible art and i like that instead of focusing too heavily on things like worldbuilding or plot, it kind of just goes with vibes and it works for me. I like these older short series that are kind of just chaotic and all over, like this or Real Bout High School. its charming.

I renovated my gym room. Repainted the walls orange and grey and installed vinyl flooring. I bought some new gym equipment too and it's starting to look like a proper gym. This was a tremendous amount of work, but i really wanted to get it done. My dad had helped me get it started, so i wanted to finish it as soon as i could.

I watched the newer Planet of the Apes movies, except for the most recent one. man, those are some good ass movies. big fan of Caesar. me and my sister are constantly quoting the movies.

Saw my first cybertruck in the wild. looked shit and i hope they had a bad day.

I watched Sign of Affection, a romance anime about a deaf college girl. I liked it A LOT. all the characters were likable.

i stopped training for half marathons. my goal for the year was 1 a month for the whole year, but that got derailed in may and by the time june rolled around i was already out of half marathon shape and it was so hot that it was hard to put any real miles in. so im probably going to end up skipping july and august too and pick it back up in september.

i completed all of chun li's combo trials in sf6. this seems like nothing, but i literally spent 2+ hours on a single advanced combo and i think it took years off my life.

[tesla-dailyplanet]

Three things I HATE about my Cybertruck after 13,000 miles

[stickers95]

"Why is cybertruck Miles kinda..."

Kinda what? c'mon finish that thought

Listen I try to keep this blog sfw 🤭

(Keyword: try)

[head-post]

Chechen leader Kadyrov says Musk remotely disabled his Cybertruck

Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov has claimed that the Cybertruck electric vehicle from Tesla given to him as a gift was remotely disabled and now does not work and blamed the “giver,” the American billionaire founder of Tesla, Elon Musk.

Last month, the warlord published a video of himself driving the cyber truck, equipped with a machine gun turret, on the grounds of his presidential palace. He claimed the vehicle was a “gift” from Musk.

After an X social media user wrote that the businessman had supplied his electric car to an “enemy of the US who is under sanctions,” Musk said he had not given Kadyrov a Tesla Cybertruck. He wrote on X:

Are you seriously so retarded that you think I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general? That’s amazing.

The head of Chechnya also reacted to the post and advised the American to ignore “retarded and uninitiated people and corrupt media.” Kadyrov wrote in his Telegram channel:

Better continue to create and reach new heights. Your developments are a great help to us. You’re great in any case!

He also noted that Musk’s technologies, including the Starlink system, are helping Russian fighters in the war zone in Ukraine.

But on Thursday, Kadyrov wrote on social media that the vehicle, which he said had performed “magnificently” on the battlefield, had been remotely disabled by Tesla and had to be towed away from the front line. Kadyrov also wrote in Telegram:

Elon Musk behaved badly. He gives expensive gifts from the bottom of his heart and then remotely disconnects them. That’s not manly. How could you do that, Elon?

The Tesla Cybertruck is a cyberpunk-style electric pickup truck with a payload capacity of around 1.6 tonnes. Depending on the model, the pickup should travel up to 500 miles (about 804 kilometres) on a single charge. The range of the electric pickup reaches 512 kilometres, with a top speed of 180 km/hour. The electric vehicle is four-wheel drive, has a 600 hp system and accelerates to 96 km/h in 4.1 sec.

Read more HERE

[massachusetts-official]

Seen two cybertrucks this past week in my central-eastern mass area. Though im choosing to believe they were both the same vehicle because more than one cybertruck existing in any ~50 miles of me is a world too terrible to bear

I had to face the truth, so do you. There are definitely way too many cybertrucks in MA (more than 0). Odds are there are more the closer you are to Boston.

[oranges-arent-fruits-idiot]

rural kentucky is fucking weird /pos

so i walked down my half mile long unpaved road from my house to the main road to feed my neighbor's cats, and across the road i see the following:

a group of women screaming loudly

feral children sitting on the roof of a broken cybertruck

a riding mower painted like a nascar car toppled over in the yard

a grill dangerously close to fire

two men naked except for boxer briefs playing mock-demolition derby on nascar-ified riding mowers that make noises like a gang of motorcycle riders

in conclusion;

rural kentucky is fucking weird

[theinkbunny]

You know what’s fucking hilarious?

I live in a relatively small town (we literally span maybe 10 miles around)

And I have seen one cybertruck and several teslas around and just… we have village idiots and I cannot wait for the day when we get one of the stupid cybertruck problem headlines

I still can’t believe people are driving trash bins

[simmonsized]

Tony and I just saw a cybertruck or whatever they're called in person for the first time and it's even worse than you could think, and the cars around it are giving it like a mile of space gkgkrkskaksl

[dxppercxdxver]

@natdrinkstea and i were on the highway at like. midnight. for almost an hour. with naught but a cybertruck following us for nearly fifty miles. god they look so fucking stupid irl