#I curate my own fandom experience like an adult

[zeroducks-2]

"Why are ships so policed, why isn't fandom allowed to be fun anymore 😢🙄😞" says the person with DNI IF YOU SHIP INCEST AND PEDOPHILIA!! in their bio.

[altfire-archive]

im like desperately chasing the golden goose of SuperWhoLock-level fandom but without children in it and im being forced to realize that that just isnt possible. teenagers run the internet and im past my fandom prime

[damnfandomproblems]

"People keep calling minors puritans" anon who got banned from their discord server: You are being handed every goddamn tool to curate your experience and refusing them. You're not being pushed out, you're forcing your own preferences on others and experiencing the consequences of that.

I've modded a large discord server for years. We have a gacha channel. I have a microtransactions problem. You know what I do? I mute the gacha channel, often turn on hide muted channels, and I have never once been in that channel. The other mods handle anything that pops up there.

"What if they talk bad about me where I can't see" is a ridiculous justification for banning a NSFW channel. They can also do that in DMs, but I hope you don't get angry about them DMing each other. You have to trust your friends to not be stabbing you in the back, and if you can't trust them, you need either better friends or therapy. Or both. (I don't say that as an insult at all, I know some people do and that's disgusting. I'm in therapy. It fucking rules. More people should be in therapy.)

It's perfectly valid to not want to have NSFW in a server you created, and I'm sorry that you got banned without warning. It sounds like things were handled badly all around, and we definitely don't have enough information to say you were in the right or the wrong. But you cannot simply expect other people to not ever engage with NSFW in any space you could possibly see. You are being given the tools to avoid seeing it. It is your responsibility to use them.

And to say "adults shouldn't be allowed in fandom spaces because they push minors out"? Not only are you generalizing a TON, that statement is downright CRUEL. I shouldn't be allowed to engage with and talk about the things I like just because I'm 25 instead of 17? When I'm basically the same person as I was then? Fandom has been a huge part of my life for over a decade. And you think I shouldn't be ALLOWED to be a part of it because some adults wouldn't take you refusing to respect your own boundaries by staying out of clearly marked NSFW spaces. That makes me angry and it makes me feel incredibly hurt. I'm just here enjoying the things I love. And you say I shouldn't be allowed to, when I don't even know who you are, and you don't even know who I am.

I know you're a kid, and that's not your fault. I remember being a kid. But I hope you learn to realize that you are responsible for your own experience. You can't expect every single person in the world to cater to you. The majority of us do want you, and everyone, to be comfortable in fandom. That's why we tag and why we clearly mark NSFW content, so people can block what they need to. Hell, I'll block anyone I see whose DNI I violate so I don't cross a boundary by accident. (And also because I don't want to interact with someone who doesn't want to interact with me.) But we have just as much of a right to be comfortable in fandom spaces as you do. We all need to create our own boundaries rather than expect others to remove everything we don't like.

If you don't like seeing filtered terms on your dash... unfollow the people who post them. If you don't want to see NSFW in discord, mute NSFW channels. It is your responsibility to do these things.

You have been given so many tools to curate your own experience. I promise you and everyone around you will be happier if you learn to use them.

Oh, my ask is about 5796.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[mochiwrites]

Idk if anyone has ask this but what are your boundaries?

mmmmmm okay. so. here’s the thing

I understand you’ve probably asked this question with good intentions. I’m also going to assume that you’ve come from twitter because that place is Insane when it comes to boundaries

anon, I am gently taking your hand and looking at you, and in the kindest way possible: you do not need to know my boundaries. I’m an adult who can curate my own internet experience. besides, I’m not a content creator, I’m a fanfic writer. I have no need to publicly state my boundaries

this whole culture of people asking about boundaries ruins the point of fandom spaces. fandom spaces are meant for us, the fans. as long as we’re not forcing our creations upon cc’s what does it matter what we do?

it doesn’t matter what my boundaries are because I’m the only one who needs to worry about them.

and I’m not saying any of this to be rude or anything like, either. it’s just, the sooner you realize that it’s not your job to ask or even enforce boundaries (generally speaking here), the much better your internet space becomes. the only one you should be focusing on is you and your own boundaries

[glossysoap]

rules:

i write 18+ content so please refrain from interacting with it if you’re a minor. thank you. if you knowingly let minors follow you, do not follow me.

i also write some dark content. i always tag it very thoroughly, so please just heed the warnings and be honest with yourself. if you think it’s too much for you, don’t read it.

it’s your responsibility to curate your own experience and choosing to read something or choosing not to. please refrain from reporting and just block instead. if you’re not 18+ please do not interact with my explicit works in any way.

boundaries;

what i will not write:

scat, bestiality, necro, diapers, race play.

i have a life. not only does this apply to my update schedule, but this also applies to any and all discourse. do NOT assume that i’m privy to everything going on. i’m most likely not. instead of blocking/softblocking/unfollowing/reporting, inform me of what’s going on. please do it via dms. and do it politely.

if i don’t want to be involved in it, please be understanding as writing and fandom is my escape from my troubles in real life.

i do not condone, and never will condone, threatening violence over fiction. that also applies to telling people to off themselves. it doesn’t matter to me what the fiction is about. grow up and ignore the piece of fiction that you have a problem with, act like the adult you should be acting like.

if you’re a follower/mutual/etc and i find out that you’re supporting someone who has been threatening people or encouraging suicíde, i will block you accordingly or at least soft block you.

i don’t tolerate racist behavior or defending of racists, so if i see that you’ve made racist comments, i’ll block and report you. this goes for mutuals as well.

if i see you actively still supporting a racist blog after it’s been brought to your attention that they’re racist, i’ll be soft blocking you/hard blocking you.

note: if you’re 18+, dms are always open! but please keep in mind that personal things/everyday life does get in the way, so i might not respond right away. it doesn’t mean i’m ignoring you, and i will respond when i’m able to. if there’s a family emergency, please be patient. please be patient in general, really. also please keep in mind the time zones.

if any of my followers wish to be mutuals, pls dm me and i’ll most likely follow you back <3

if any of my followers/readers/moots wish to be removed from any of my tag lists, please don’t hesitate to let me know! there’s never any hard feelings! i just know that there’s a 50 tag limit for each post so i want to shorten it to people that still want to be tagged.

this post is subject to change at any time.

[herschelkrustofsky]

HEY, HEY LGBT+ SIMPSONS FANS!! your local clown has created an INCLUSIVE, 18+ DISCORD SERVER to give us a safe space where we can discuss the characters and show, joke around, share fanart and fanfiction, and more!

🍩 server highlights include:

the ability to connect with other gay, lesbian, bi & trans fans of simpsons, including artists, writers, and casual fans; being able to share your creations without relying on likes, reblogs, or any sort of algorithm.

sharing ideas and headcanons & potentially collaborating with each other if the inspiration strikes!

movie nights, voice calls, & game nights!

a casual / friendly vibe in general; anyone can pop in and out of the chat as they please. there’s no such thing as too much or little talking, so long as we all respect each other!

🍩 as far as ground rules go...

the server is for ADULTS ONLY as a precaution, as i have seen too many things go wrong in all-ages servers and do not want to take any chances. this is not equivalent to sharing excessive amounts of nsfw, nor for people to be weird or overstep others’ boundaries.

no gross stuff, meaning fetishized/romanticized incest, rape, pedophilia, etc. proshippers will not be welcome here, ever. racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, or otherwise bigoted behaviour will also result in a permanent ban.

i feel the need to emphasize that this is not a server geared towards cishet people. this is not something that is going to change any time soon.

due to past experiences within fandom, i am cautious about who i allow into my curated spaces. please do not take this personally. it has nothing to do with you & everything to do with wanting to ensure that everyone is kept safe & my own personal boundaries.

be nice to everyone in the server. don’t demean people or talk over them. please read additional rules carefully upon entering. that’s about it!

    LIKE OR REBLOG IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN JOINING & I WILL (POTENTIALLY) SEND AN INVITE YOUR WAY!!! 💛💛💛

[saintsenara]

I really like Snape as a character. I made the mistake of mentioning that online. Someone asked me how I like a character is inexcusably mean to children when he is a position of authority around them and how he is petty, can be cruel and harsh teacher and his lack of patience towards Nerville and basically a list of all the mean/horrible stuff that he has said/done. What do you say when people ask you how you can reconcile liking such a character given all of cruel and hurtful things that he has said and done both towards his students and joined willingly a known blood supremacist terrorist group and said known slur towards his friend that is a member of a minority group? I find Snape to be a deeply compelling and flawed and complex character- that's why I enjoy seeking out Snape centric fics.

thank you very much for the ask, anon, and i'm sorry that people have popped off about you liking snape. it's an extremely tedious way for them to behave, since these people are fictional.

i must be honest, i don't really get asked to justify my fondness for the baddies - partially because i curate my fandom space in order to avoid it and partially because i must give the impression of not caring - but i've never found it particularly difficult to reconcile the fact that all my favourite characters are mass-murderers with the fact that i myself am not one...

the first - and frankly the most important - way that i do this is because i understand what genre conventions are.

it seems to me that this is the thing that really is the most lacking in the discourse surrounding the 'bad' characters in the harry potter series, with snape chief among them, but it’s absolutely crucial to understand:

snape is a mean teacher because harry potter is for children, and children do not want to read about sweet or competent adults.

[this is also the reason why the dursleys are horrible, or why hogwarts is such a dangerous and poorly-run school. if the series contained the line, a troll did not get into the dungeon and so harry did his homework, then any child worth their salt would be hurling the book into a fire.]

it must be remembered that child readers - for whom the text is primarily intended - will have a different response to the tropes and themes of the series than adults returning to it with their own experiences, and that adults' responses to the books are not responses that the books were written to provoke. this doesn't mean that adults' reactions are unreasonable - nor does it mean that adults shouldn't engage with harry potter, as my 300k words on ao3 attests - it simply means that it is not a flaw of the series that snape's behaviour is not addressed in the way that adults would like it to be. it's just genre.

because children tend to see the things in the series which horrify us as adults as considerably less frightening or problematic than we do ourselves. indeed, they often see interactions which we read as abusive, or as evidence of systematic cruelty, as simply unfair, and they are looking for retribution not in terms of legal punishment or wide-ranging institutional change, but in the character who is behaving unfairly getting their comeuppance, often in a comic way.

this is because fairness-unfairness is one of the primary ways in which children understand justice. as adults, we think with more nuance - but that doesn’t mean that our response to the text is better. in fact, we have a responsibility to understand the series’ genre conventions when we approach characters in our own writing - if you want to make snape a violent abuser, you actually need to understand all the ways in which the series shows him not to be those things.

snape’s relationship with his classes is written in a way which provokes the response in children that he is unfair, but not one which provokes the response that he is frightening - indeed, the story generally treats his "cruelty" as comic, at least until half-blood prince, and he often gets an embarrassing comeuppance when he tries to be sincerely malicious. [i.e. literally everything which happens to him in prisoner of azkaban.]

he is unfair, because he doesn’t tell malfoy off for misbehaving. he is unfair, because he doesn’t give hermione a chance to answer questions. he is unfair, because he is rude to harry [who, like any good child hero worth his salt, has no respect for snape and isn’t intimidated by him]. he is unfair, because he gives horrible detentions.

but no child character in the story ever seriously believes his behaviour to go beyond this - including neville.

neville’s fear of snape is caused by snape being unfair towards him - and, since neville is a character the text likes, snape therefore frequently gets his comeuppance for this unfairness. the incident where he threatens to poison trevor is horrible to read as an adult, but as a child the outcome - snape is foiled in his plan because of neville and hermione - is understood as triumphant. snape - an adult - is constantly outfoxed by his pupils - who are not adults - and children love to see that.

[similarly, it really should be emphasised that the text treats neville’s fear of snape as ridiculous. lupin laughs in his face about it in prisoner of azkaban, and neville himself admits that it’s silly and irrational. it cannot be seriously suggested - although i've seen plenty of people try - that snape is his boggart instead of bellatrix because snape sincerely frightens him more. he fears snape more than bellatrix because his narrative purpose in the first four books is to be comic relief - he’s a bit cowardly and a bit useless, and he provides a character for the child reader to feel braver and cleverer than.]

obviously, these incidents read very differently to adults - especially if you are an adult who has, knows, or works with small children. but if somebody complains to you about your favourite characters because they're upset by children’s literature without thinking about how it’s intended to be read by its primary audience... that’s not your problem.

but even beyond genre, i feel comfortable liking "bad" characters because i understand human complexity.

online, it is increasingly becoming a dogma that our attitudes are fixed and unchangeable. i feel incredibly sorry for young people nowadays, who often have to live in a state of hypervigilance in order to make sure that they never do or say anything cruel or ignorant. this must be miserable, because flawlessness is unattainable - not only for real people but for fictional ones as well.

the fannish desire to write someone like snape off as bad and unchangeable - alongside the accompanying tendency to minimise the human flaws of characters such as james and sirius - comes from the fact that snape, like many antagonists, holds up a mirror to us as the reader. and we may not like what we see.

snape’s life demonstrates that it’s very easy to be radicalised into joining a terror group - particularly for people who have experienced things like poverty, being othered, or being bullied. it forces us to recognise that people who end up involved in evil did not come into it fully formed - they started somewhere, and they often ended up where they did because of failures in societies and their institutions which we ignore because they benefit us. after all, hogwarts does nothing to prevent voldemort recruiting death eaters among its pupils, hogwarts does nothing to dismantle the oppressive class system on which the wizarding world runs - the school is the archetypal ivory tower, and the ministry is no better.

snape’s life demonstrates that it's very easy for people who are victims in some areas of their lives to be perpetrators in others. trauma is often not sympathetic and perfect victimhood does not exist. having experienced trauma means you have experienced trauma - it can still make you act like a cunt.

and snape’s life also demonstrates that it’s very easy to - without entirely intending to - do something absolutely terrible, and this is something which we should always be compassionate towards. because it’s going to happen to all of us - and, actually, our terrible deed could easily be something as significant as snape’s report of the prophecy. if you drive, for example, it takes one momentary distraction for you to kill someone. what are you going to do if the person you kill is your childhood best friend, whom you love?

well… you’re going to try to redeem yourself. and, like snape, you will learn that redemption is messy and often strange, and that people can show growth in some areas and lack it in others.

and the redemption point is important - the idea that snape is redeemed by the end of the canon text is something which lots of fans push back against. but it’s crucial to note two things:

the first is that one’s own capacity for forgiveness and the potential of forgiveness as a concept are not the same thing. you might never have been able to forgive snape if you were lily or harry or dumbledore, but that says nothing about whether anyone else can or should. the second is that forgiveness and redemption are not inextricably linked. one can redeem oneself without being forgiven.

my view is that approaching bad characters with nuance is actively beneficial for us, and that having a "problematic fave" is a good thing when it comes to our self-growth in the real world. if we believe ourselves to be immune to the sort of radicalising forces which would lead a person to other their best friend to the extent that they call her a slur, we will be easy to radicalise. if we believe ourselves to be incapable of making a dangerous mistake, we will be more likely to miss the clues that we’re about to. if we do not believe in the possibility of redemption for all, then we are going to have a very hard time when we do something bad, since we therefore have to believe in redemption for none.

thinking critically about oneself - both in relation to the media one enjoys and in general - is a protective act. learning to identify commonalities with bad people protects you. learning to recognise that you’re not always going to be good or right protects you. learning to accept that you’ll fuck up protects you. learning to be remorseful protects you. learning to forgive protects you. learning that the limits of your personal capacity to forgive is not the same as the potential of forgiveness protects you.

unsympathetic literary characters show us how to approach unsympathetic people in real life. snape is a brilliant example of what can be caused by failing to see the whole person - voldemort is evidently the only person who offers him a life-line, where dumbledore and the "good guys" in wizarding society do not. this is a lesson to us all - if we flatten people into good-and-therefore-worthy-of-help and bad-and-therefore-not, it’s a recipe for disaster...

but this is all very pretentious and philosophical. the main reason why i have no qualms about enjoying "bad" characters is because i’m not a cop.

the summary of the last point is - basically - that readers need to learn how to sit with discomfort in media, because discomfort within a fictional context is completely safe, and therefore it provides an outlet for people to think about themes or characters which are darker in a way which cannot cause actual harm.

fiction is not real life and fictional characters cannot harm you - and this is the case even if the fiction is about something which would or did materially harm you if it happened in real life. [this is doubly the case in harry potter because the harms upon which the series focuses are themselves fictional - the series’ blood-supremacy obviously reflects real-world examples of discrimination, but it is not something which any real person has actually experienced.]

this means that a reader’s reaction to something in fiction is always on them. authors have no responsibility to anticipate every single reader’s response to their writing - encountering something that upsets you in a fictional setting is your responsibility to deal with. [even if the author’s not tagged properly.]

snape may upset a reader for various reasons, some of which may be related to experiences of real world discrimination, but his existence cannot cause actual harm to any living person, because he and the society in which he lives are not real.

fictional crimes are not real crimes, and so, if someone tries to say that you shouldn’t enjoy reading about him because they don’t like it… they are a cop and you should have no respect for them. acab applies to the thought police too.

and knowing this gives us a powerful tool… i have no qualms about being criticised for liking bad characters because i just say acab and go on with my day.

just as you can’t cause anyone else material harm in your consumption of fiction, nor can anyone else cause you material harm just by criticising your choices - obviously, if they’re attempting to doxx you, or to cause any real-world repercussions because of your fanfiction tastes, that’s another matter - which means that you have the power to choose to be unbothered by unjustified criticism. it’s not even that hard! simply refuse to be upset!

curate your fandom experience without shame. post what you like. block and move on. filter assiduously. scroll past without engaging. don’t waste your time getting into fights. don’t answer comments which are rude. don’t feed trolls. delete messages. this is just harry potter!

and also be compassionate towards the fact that people don’t express themselves perfectly. if you are primed not to immediately get upset or consider yourself to be under attack, you will be able to read comments with more clarity, to look and see if you can find commonalities, and to answer them in a way which doesn’t escalate the situation.

[and always remember that a lot of the angriest and most righteous comments come from teenagers, and being a teenager is hell. be compassionate, as your fandom elders had compassion for you.]

[sister-lucifer]

You're so fucking hypocritical, imagine not letting people who ship anime sisters on your blog, but write about woundfucking. Lmaaaoooo

siiiigh this again ok

so 1. you know a dni isn’t personal right? people put things on their dni for a lot of reasons. plenty of people have “nsfw blogs dni” or “[x fandom] blogs dni” on their page. it’s not me telling you to kill yourself, it’s me saying “i’m not comfortable seeing or engaging with that content and i don’t want people who make it following me.” if someone has “antis dni” in their bio i block and move on because that’s exactly what they wanted. my blog is my space, just like your blog is YOUR space, and we’re both allowed to curate our own blogs however we want. tis the joy of the internet. i don’t wanna see people talking about wanting to fuck children, even if they’re fictional, so i take steps to make sure i don’t. you will NEVER find me in someone’s inbox yelling at them like this. block. and. move. on.

and 2. i’ve said this before so i’ll say it again: people are allowed to create whatever they want. i’ll literally never try to stop people from making things

HOWEVER

i do believe we as creators have a responsibility to make sure we are not causing harm with our content. my issue is not with what people make, but it is instead the way that proship creators will often showcase abusive and harmful dynamics as cutesy normal fun with no attempt to warn people who may be triggered or negatively influenced by that content (i.e. if you draw adult x child ship art and just put it out there for anyone to see, and an actual child comes across it and it normalizes the idea in the child’s head, that is on you.). the extra issue is that this sort of content is super prevalent in fandoms of children’s shows, which is a problem for obvious reasons; children are exponentially more likely to come across it. all of my works are tagged IMMENSELY to make sure no one comes across it who isn’t looking for it

if you want my full views on the matter, you can reference the links in THIS POST plus a bit of expansion HERE

but mostly, i want to emphasize my first point;

anyone is allowed to put whatever they want on their DNI bc it is YOUR responsibility to curate your own online experience. literally that is all i am doing.

[rose022]

hi~ im rose! (among other names lol, ask for them or find them) welcome to my intro!

- dont feel bad about blocking or unfollowing me, just wanna say this. i may make posts abt being confused when i see people leave but curate ur own experience idc be happy

- you can call me whatever you want idc, just lemme know. like genuinely any nickname. i do have others tbh but ehh

- yeah yeah im an adult so dont block me if i like ur post and u say mdni ight? also for any minors if that makes u uncomfortable u can leave. i dont tend to post anything nsfw here, just sometimes suggestive stuff and both nsfw and suggestive are tagged just like that

- pronouns are whatever is funniest in the moment. or just use your own. neos are ok

- asks and dms always open for anything. i won't really reach out first but i promise you can always talk to me about anything. if you don't have anyone else or just want to talk about a particular thing or want to vent, etc. like genuinely pretty please talk to me about your interests i will gladly listen!!! <3

- also you can always tag me in anything!! i love tag games (i may take a bit) and if theres anything you think id like or reminds you of me id love to see it!!

- don't really have a dni but like i will block you if you're a bigot. im a fag and autistic if you don't like that go away idc. also if you are pro cop or military stuff fuck off

- if we're mutuals please tag stuff with cw rose for anything with touya or akito being shipped with anyone else or TBHK nene and tsukasa as a ship, self harm images, stuff about spiders (or any bugs kinda) mostly pictures of them or them on someone (bees moths and butterflies exempt), needles if theyre detailed not cartoony, real life gore of animals or humans (not sfx or art just real stuff), sa, stiff about veins, and please use tone tags but mostly just for joking or sarcasm as i tend to assume everything is serious.

- MUTUALS PLEASE TELL ME STUFF TO TAG FOR YOU!!! i do my best to read carrds and intros and stuff but i might forget please remind me please. gore and sexual stuff will get tagged as gore and nsfw but it's mostly explicit stuff. things are tagged as what it is, not with cw or tw.

- !!current things i tag are homestuck, eye strain, saiouma, bsd, religion (marlo dont look), elie shoo (csm saiouma gore), suggestive (anything relating to anything nsfw like jokes or anything else), adrien no look (alcohol, crickets, girl interrupted, hospital innuendos clowns, child death, natural disasters)

- tags

#rose rambles - my posts

#rose tagged ramblings - i made a separate one for when i talk a lot in tags

#rose art - quite simply rose's art

#rose ocs - the sillies from my brain

#ask rose! - asks

#rose pics - look i don't get creative with naming these i think you can tell

#rose cosplay - ^^^ yeah

#helpful - things that could be helpful to anyone

#save - similar to above but more so personal things

#important - maybe not technically helpful but i think people should see

#favs - self explanatory, i believe

#sillies - similar to above but not really

#luv - mutual appreciation mostly

#heart! - things made by mutuals!

#liebe - things made for me!

#mecore - woah thats so me frfr

#rose writing - idk man take a guess

#für das rose - submissions aka post limit

favfavs - fav art or fandom things

(i wanna like fix all my posts to have tags but i reblog so much and itll take me a million years to get back to the start of my account atp. maybe one day.)

- commission info

art:

writing: $2 per 100 words (?)

i also take requests for these!! or other stuff but like it will almost definitely take me a bajillion years to finish so if you wanna make sure i do something, gimme money. but u dont gotta its ok ily anyways

i have a k-fi rose226 and dm for p-ypal

- sideblogs

@nightcord-luka-official

@luka-spotted most active

@daily-akiyama-mizuki hiatus!

@daily-asahina-mafuyu hiatus!

@kokomi-sangonomiya-official

@mafuyu-asahina-official

@wansho-luka-official

@junior-high-enanan-official

@fischl-official

@rosemusictime lol no followers

@oz-the-bird-official (to translate my Fischl)

@ako-udagawa-official this and above in progress

@daily-purple-character send reqs

@rose-poll-account

@aoi-shirosaki-official pjsk oc rp blog

@hikari-itsuki-official ^

@yuki-jigoku-official ^

@kei-makura-official ^

@roseswonderland things i make

@yuki-spotted

@niigo-va-updates

(i may remove u as a follower depending on if i trust you enough for these next few but if we're mutuals ur pretty much safe)

@moonlit-thoughts22 vent

@selfless-lvr selfship/kin

@softrosebud agere

@shhh-its-rose moots only ig.

@eros-engel who needs secrecy anymore. fuck it. nsfw blog.

(guys i think I have too many sideblogs help)

im not active on many other social media but if we're mutuals you can ask for like anything and ill probably have an account. somehow im most active here tho (and in one discord server but u guys cant join)

[himbosuplex]

i've basically hit a point where if i see "proship DNI" in someone's bio i just won't follow or interact with them.

it's not even because i'm a "proshipper." (this is a word that basically means nothing anymore.) it's because i'm a grown ass adult who has more important problems to worry about than how someone is dealing with their paraphilias or trauma via fiction. seeing "proship DNI" doesn't so much indicate anything beyond 'i refuse to curate my own spaces' and 'i am a child who cannot do nuance and just smacks generalizations onto anyone whose opinions and lived experience do not 100% match my own.' i don't meant to disrespect anyone, but this is genuinely how this looks to anyone outside of fandom discourse. it's impossible to take seriously, and it's impossible to talk about because people immediate jump to such wild bad faith conclusions that it makes it even more impossible to talk about things that actually matter. like real child abuse. real domestic abuse. that happens to actual, real living breathing people.

live your life, but i am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this. i learned a long time ago that it's far better to take the initiative and curate my own spaces the best i can than expect other people to do it for me.

i hate to bring this topic up again but so long as people like, 15 years younger than me keep trying to drag my shit into it I guess I have to. i am an adult. i am trans. i am a sexual assault survivor, a childhood abuse survivor, i have trauma, i go to therapy, i can't pay my bills. i don't need this. i've been on tumblr since some of you were like 6 years old.

[theliterarywolf]

Ok I’m so sorry but you wanna know what’s HILARIOUS about that “B-but murder is portrayed as bad in these games, see?!” post? GTA is developed by Rockstar Studios. The same company that made Red Dead Redemption 2. The same Red Dead Redemption 2 that has a side-quest with incestuous siblings. Like bestie you cannot get any more ironic when that company is doing the same thing you think is icky. Don’t get me wrong incest squicks me out but come on. I just avoid it and move on.

If I've said it once

I've said it twice

I'll say it a million times:

The current issue in the fandom-sphere isn't 'oh, you need to be comfortable with everything 100% of the time'. It's people not knowing how to express their discomfort with certain topics and refusing to curate their own experiences and, therefore, making it everyone else's problem.

There are dozens of ships and tropes and kinks that I don't like or, hell, make me downright uncomfortable. But I don't go around attacking people who do like those things. One, because I'm a fucking adult and creator who knows how to mind my own damn business, and two because I'm not a fucking narcissist being enabled by the rot of modern internet and modern absentee-parenting.

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

What is the dumbest Purity Police thing you've ever seen on tumblr, Ancient One?

I currently follow 36 blogs, the vast majority of those are old mutuals (6+ years) or faceless fan blogs I don't interact with, but happily reblog from. That's the highest my follow list has been my entire time on this site. I get content from tags more than people I follow.

It's incredibly rare that I follow a blog. I'm very very specific, and me not following a blog is in no way a slight or a judgement against them, I am incredibly picky.

But as anyone who was on tumblr 10+ years ago can attest, "Follow Back" was a rabid practice and you'd get shit hurled at you for not doing it. You were expected to follow back every single blog that followed you. I used to get so many messages "reminding" me they'd followed me and I had to follow back. I never did.

One blog I was mutuals with, and had been around a year, was one of the rabid follow-back believers. At one point she mentioned she was following like 1,800 blogs, which frankly was pretty normal to hear from my mutuals.

She went off one day about how adult content should be banned because SHE shouldn't have to see it on her dash, and it was unreasonable and unfair to expect HER to go out of HER way to block tags (or unfollow blogs that posted untagged). It was an infringement on HER rights as a Tumblr user to have to click a few buttons to block a tag or unfollow a blog and break her precious, perfect follow back streak. Instead, she should be allowed to dictate the content of every single one of those 1,800 blogs and only let them post what she liked.

Tumblr didn't recommend posts back then, you had to go into tags to see new content. She was pitching a fit about curating her own online experience.

In the same 2 paragraph outburst she also demanded books put warnings on them if there is any sexual content at all because she said it was no different from sexual assault for her to sit down with a book and be exposed to such content. She deserved to be slapped for that line above all else.

She was a member of the fandom around the books about fancy elves (fae) fucking.

I blocked her immediately, and massively increased the sexual content on my blogs.

And from pure spite, my sex positivity blog (RIP) and NSFN (Not Safe For November) was born. I also started writing spicier and spicier fanfiction, and became known as the Smut Queen of that fandom.

[khepiari]

I don't like it when it's in our world, I think there is a One Piece school manga where the ages are either the same or not as high, but when you apply the canonical ages, Law working and Luffy still in school, I don't let to think that I have to call the police or the psychologist and this is my problem, I know, but as pirates Law and Luffy are more equal than in our world (it still scares me sometimes, canonically it is not a problem but there is fanfics where even about pirates this is shady), but I always think that the problem is not always the ship, but rather those who write or draw

Well, when it comes to fandom, this is my personal rule: canon is reference material for me.

“Age-gap” trope is not new, it has existed since the beginning of the fiction genre to be fair. Because people have been marrying/living/romancing between large gaps for time memorial in real-life. Yes, in most cases, it’s young women and older men because of societal beliefs; young women are considered as limited shelf-life goods while men in possession of money are a catch. Age-gap relationships until the advent of modern society benefited off vulnerable young women who had no money or social security.

Historically, age-gap has been extremely common in queer relationships, we have had huge age-gaps too as well, one famous couple being Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy; 30 years. I know fellow queer people in happy relationships where age-gap is over 15 years, and I know fellow heterosexual couples with two years age-gap in miserable marriages. Who gets to be happy in their relationship is relative to contextual environment.

But I am digressing. Coming back to my OTP

As you said, Law and Luffy become a problematic romance if they are placed in a modern setting like High School romance and not the canon timeline. For example, they are put in the context of where one is still in school and the other is a functional adult. Your concerns are valid, but my concern here is; who is this age-gap romance about two 2D fictional characters written on a fan-run website in a tiny slash pairing fandom hurting? Because as far as I know no one is being made to read these stories as part of their school/university literature curriculum. A reader is choosing to read these stories on their own will. Someone might sent you the link, and you can click on it, but you still have to press the consent button to read it, right?

Law and Luffy to me have been equal, since day one both in “canon” and in my fics. Because I have never seen their age-gap as a power dynamic story. I am the person who wrote My Little Husband, I think that story has every trope, problem and issue that people who hate the age-gap associate with. Even in that story, Luffy is an equal, and the active agent in his story. So yeah coming back to what you ended the ask with.

You said about LawLu ship “problem is not always the ship, but rather who writes or draws.” I will simply disagree here. My main reason is that every fic author/fan artist has the right to write/draw/think about their ship how they want. Who are we as consumers of these stories to say “This is bad” and “that is good?”

Yes, your feelings of dislike/ick are valid. That’s why you have been provided with the options of tags, warnings and basic fic ratings.

In my fics, I add the tags and mark the sex scenes out, and if it’s explicit topics or scenes, there are reminders in the text that a reader can skip certain parts. What more can we do to protect the reader’s comfort?

Hence.

I refuse to endorse the idea that the problem lies with the creator of the ship. Just because someone writes something that makes other people uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s “bad or wrong”. And just because something makes you comfortable because it aligns with your personal beliefs isn’t necessarily “good or correct”.

Engaging with fiction is a personal experience, so you have to curate what you are looking for. Do you want to be comfortable or do you want to be stirred with feelings? The choices are yours to make and you can indulge in all or none at all. Yet, no one has any right to call a fan creator, “You are the problem for creating something because it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Will you like it? Let’s say— you go to a pot-luck party with a delicious tumbler of potato stew, and someone willingly tastes a spoonful/eats the entire bowl and then tells you right after that, “You are a bad person and cook as your potato stew made their mouth tingle because of the variation of spices you used for that person’s favourite vegetable?”

No, you won’t.

So my advice is simple: don’t interact with something that makes you uncomfortable and unhappy. Fandom is not the place to measure our morality.

The end.

[jmtorres]

ETA 11/7/24 we are in all kitty all knitting all pretty pictures hours until my dashboard stops being the most depressing thing in the world. i come to tumblr to distract me from shit like the fucking election and right now i have a dozen blocked posts in a row because no one knows how to step away. I'm stepping away. it's all fluff here.

I thought as a fannish tumblr I could stumble along without a *jazz hands* policy but I guess I gotta pin a post.

I am on Tumblr for fun.

If you send an ask for money I will block and report spam.

Below the cut: stuff I reblog, sideblogs, stuff I try to avoid, block policies, queue, do not ask me for money, and as a palate cleanser to thank you for reading, a nice picture of my cat.

I like to reblog:

pictures of animals and flowers

fannish stuff about shows, books and podcasts I'm enjoying (I like a lot of shit and I'm a fannish butterfly and/or magpie, it's not useful for me to post a fandom list, it expands often) (this includes thinking about characters banging, if you are an "anti" you will probably not enjoy my blog)

sometimes chronic health stuff, that's less fun but the spoonie community sometimes offers advice i find useful or just, relatable weariness

neurodivergent stuff too

food and recipes

art (no AI. if you see me reblog AI-generated content feel free to let me know) (by the way I HATE being suspicious of artists and trying to figure out if something is genuinely creative or machine-mixed.)

architecture and interior decor

fashion

hot people, often wearing fashion

if it makes me laugh. memes and shit.

language/linguistics stuff

filmmaking stuff

knitting and other fibercrafts

general nerdery

queer stuff (history, queer rep, talking about the queer experience, hot queer people flaunting it)

jewish stuff (usually cultural, some midrash, I try not to post about current events see below)

scifi & fantasy writing/what-ifs/meta

polls I miss LJ clicky-boxes but i vote in all kinds of polls it activates something in my brain

like literally whatever interests me, this is a personal blog, not themed*

* i have a couple of themed blogs, which I very occasionally update:

@teachdeathtodye, about both fiber and hair dyeing

@wheresmygoddamnlunarbase, about surprising or exciting scientific and technological advancements.

any other blogs that are not defunct? apparently as of 2023 I still post to @hewasonfogmachine, which was essentially a moodboard for an epic plotbunny I never wrote. it was a rock star AU, so lots of interesting musical instruments and performances. also an MCU/Mission Impossible fusion so hot pics of actors from both franchises, and my fancasts for OCs. either a very specific or very random themed blog, but if it's to your taste, enjoy.

But back to THIS blog!

I try not to post about politics (I am trying not to even read about politics on tumblr tbh) but sometimes the moment moves me. I will tag relevantly (I use "us politics" for American shit and "i/p" for the Israel-Palestine conflict).

I believe in curating my tumblr experience. I filter a lot of keywords and tags, but I also unfollow people if you post something that upsets me and gets past the filters. It's rarely personal. Who I follow is meant to give me an interesting and pleasing dashboard experience, not necessarily be a reflection of who I'm friends with.

I block fairly liberally. If I find your posts/opinions antithetical to my existence or my friends' existence, I will do my damndest to block you rather than argue with you (sorry if i was unable to resist arguing with you before I remembered the block button).

I softblock declared minors who follow me. I'm not an "adult" blog per se but I'm not filtering my content for children and also if you are a minor for your own safety you should not be announcing it on the internet, get that shit off your profile.

I periodically check who follows me and I might softblock (or hardblock) you if I do not think we are compatible (ie you have a DNI that lists people like me but followed me anyway for some reason??)

I queue shit and don't mark it queued so me posting is never an indication of whether I'm actually online.

And here's the thing I need to say that got me to pin a post:

I do not reblog ANY requests for money, I do not respond to asks from people I don't know personally asking for money. I'm on Tumblr for fun and my wallet is not available.

If you send me something like that and it looks spammy (which if you're cold calling, it does), I will report you to Tumblr. If you send me something like that and we don't know each other at all, I will block you. (If I know you I will probably gently remind you I don't do that. Unless I know you but you've been borderline annoying or upsetting in the past, in which case I might just block you anyway.)

Look. The world sucks. A lot of us are in financial straits and are not getting the support we need from our communities, our governments, our families. But I don't have the energy to figure out if you're "deserving" and I'm not loaded either. I do my volunteering/community aid locally in person, not online, to be sure I know who I'm helping, and because a lot of the help I am able to provide is via action rather than money. I am very sorry for the failures of our society that have made social media your best chance of getting help, but please don't ask me to participate in that.

Here's my cat.

The end

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

Hi I have some concerns regarding your server. I don't think it's a good idea to have your Outlast server be all ages... Outlast is a very adult game and isn't appropriate for teens to be discussing with random adults in a discord server, even if the discussions aren't necessarily bad, ie just gushing over a character or whatever; it's because of the nature of the game itself that makes it inappropriate. Red Barrels themselves don't want underage ppl interacting with their content either, their website has you put your date of birth in to even look at anything, and their official server actually is 18+. There's a reason why they do that. If there are minors in the server that get upset over not being allowed in anymore, if you do decide to make it 18+, then they can create their own Outlast server only for people their own age, so that its teens talking to teens with less risk of anything sus happening. I could never tell a 14 yr old to stop liking Outlast because I was a 14 yr old who loved Outlast, but being in the fandom and discussing aspects of the game with adults wasn't appropriate for me then and it still isn't now. I'm saying this from experience. Honestly I don't think any discord server even if totally SFW and clean should have both adults and teens in it because theres too mush risk involved. I think having a server for fans of Outlast is great and I'm sure fans in the server are happy with how it is, but making the server safer for both adults and minors in the server would probably make people happier

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, I just saw this today and needed some time to collect my thoughts because I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with my own personal values for the server and also tries to adhere to what you are asking of me. I take the safety of people, especially minors in my server extremely seriously. I also got into Outlast at a young age and have had my fair share of experiences in the fandom with creeps, usually adults or just plain weird people. My server is 13+ to be the most inclusive, while trying to simultaneously make the space as safe as possible for everyone involved. While I agree that there are absolutely sus people in this fandom (more so than others) and that it can be extremely dangerous for minors to even coexist in the fandom with these people, as i’ve literally spoken about in the past, it’s very easy for bad situations to happen. That being said, I personally find it easier and more safe to curate my space in a way where it’s inclusive to minors while also keeping it as safe as I have control over making it. The rules are specifically designed to make sure that weirdos DONT get in, and we have a very active community with moderators enforcing these rules. We don’t allow anything NSFW to get in the server outside of the specified channels, which BY THE WAY are role locked. You HAVE to be 18+ (unless you feel comfortable lying to me which I can’t really control and i don’t want to completely lock minors out of the server just over the potential of a person lying to me which will result in an immediate ban) We don’t allow any sort of discussion about anything NSFW in any channels, including conversations about sex, drugs, etc. The rules are insanely fine tuned to make things as safe as possible, and as of right now myself and mods feel it is safer to keep the server the way it is, than to kick all the ppl who are younger than 18 out to go find some other worse server or make their own which i personally don’t find to be a super safe option either. Here they are more protected imo than if they went to seek out other servers/made one that was ONLY minors. This is my personal stance on the matter, and I understand that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. For that I apologize but I will always be prioritizing the safety of the people in my server in the best way i feel that I can. I feel like under the rules we have and the safety measures instated they are the most safe in this server than one that’s completely lawless and i feel like one minor lying to me about their age is less dangerous than a creep lying about THEIR age to get into a server full of fucking minors. Doesn’t sit right with me, once again I am sorry. I will consider making the server age requirement older and speaking to the mods and members about putting even more safety things in place but like i said I just feel safer with the way things are. My dms are open for concerns btw 🤞 There is more I could say on this but I feel like this gets my feelings across the best way I can :) to me it’s like banning smthn like abortion. (weird example i know) it doesn’t stop ppl from getting them but it just makes for a safer, more sterile environment! Remember it is a FANDOM server at the end of the day and this is a very different situation than Red Barrels putting an age thing on their websites (which ppl can just lie to with yr logic lol)

[wispforever]

for the controversial naruto question ask game thing

11, 13, & 19 (or just pick one, you dont gotta answer all of them)

11. Is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?

answered here :)

13. Was Kakashi trying his best? Was he a "good" sensei?

answered here :)

19. Pettiest fandom opinion you've blocked someone for?

I don't keep track of people who block me. In fact, I don't even know an easy way to do that. I have had a few people be weird about me drawing adult Sasuke and Naruto together and calling them cheaters jokingly. Also, I get oddly defensive tags about calling Fugaku a misogynist, which I don't really understand. Of the men to defend, why him? Makes me laugh a little. I guess there's no proof he's sexist, but there's certainly no proof he feels different about women than anyone else in the series. He sure doesn't know how to love his kids LOL

edit: realized I read this question wrong LOL answered it as if it was about people blocking me. I block TONS of people. Not really on my art account bc I do most of my scrolling on my other one. I block anyone who shows up on my dash that posts things I don't like, don't want to see, am not interested in. Doesn't have to be things that offend me. I think people forget you can just block anything that junks up your dash. It's like not subscribing to things you don't care about. Seems like some folks only block when something pisses them off, but it can be great to block as a way to curate your experience. It's my space, so I use the block to only see things that I want to see.

But to get to petty blocks LOL I block anti accounts in the naruto fandom cuz they piss me off, I block naruto blogs that focus on the popular hetero-ships (sasusaku, naruhina, etc.), and I block accounts that focus too much on characters I'm not interested in (obito, sasori, deidara, etc.). As for my pettiest block? More than once I've blocked an account for drawing kakashi with his mask off too often LMAO I'm so insane about it I get offended on HIS behalf. LIKE leave him ALONE let him cover UP he doesn't LIKE THAT XDDD references my own let him eat his sandwich gdi post

Thanks for the ask :)