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fatuismooches · 1 year ago

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As promised! Here’s a little Drabble I thought of before going to bed:

What if one day fragile reader were to witness one of Dottore’s, fits of anger? They were only out for their small walk like daily, as it helps circulate blood in their body and makes them feel better that they at least can have some peace of mind without being stuck to their bed. And like usual, they’re hugging the wall trying to balance themselves as their weak body can be quite clumsy, as shown throughout the years where they’ve tried to help the clones or even Zandik but it’s always futile. Especially since on more than one occasion they’ve ended up hurting themselves due to the thing they’re holding shattering or cutting themselves accidentally.

Of course it always leaves them with a heavy heart since what good of a lover/companion are they for Dottore and the clones? They always wish they were stronger and better like before, but it’s of no use.

But as they continue their small walk, they’re reminded of how earlier that day Zandik had come visited them and check their vitals, and give them their medicine. Although it was usually always the clones doing these small things, so why was Zandik doing it all of a sudden? It had already raised their suspicions when he was the one doing it. But what raised more concern was how Dottore seemed more…agitated? Of course he tried his best to hide it from his usual serious and expressionless demeanor, but after centuries of being together they could easily tell whenever their husband was in a bad mood. But they didn’t want to upset him any more, so they didn’t ask.

Yet, while they’re on their walk through the hallways of the ginormous lab, they walk past Dottore’s personal lab, until suddenly they hear crashing sounds. Quickly alarming them and concerning them, they turn back and walk up to the door. (Although clumsily) Hesitantly grabbing the handle, they slowly open the door and see many vials of unknown liquids and scattered papers, which seem to have been ripped from a notebook? It concerns them as they’ve never seen Zandik like this. In all the years they’ve known each other, never would they expect to see their husband standing in front of his desk, slightly panting and taking deep breaths. It instilled somewhat fear into them as sure they know Zandik is feared and powerful, but to see a small portion of anger from him makes them want to quietly close the door.

But of course, before they even have the chance, Dottore turns and sees their lover. Their frail frame at the entrance of his lab, slightly shaking from what seems like, fear? His own lover fearing him? No, that can’t be. He promised to cure them, to protect them from the cruel world that is Teyvat. And yet he’s failed to even do anything. He’s only been able to accomplish things for himself, like becoming the 2nd Fatui Harbinger, but his lover? He can’t even fulfill the one promise he made..

And yet, their soft voice breaks his train of thoughts as they say his name, “Zandik…” they can barely mutter under their shaky breath as they look up at him. Zandik sighs as he takes off his mask and rubs his temple. How does even explain such an event to them? He’s obviously scared them, and yet they still stand there with concern laced in their eyes. He walks up to them with calculated steps and gently moves them so he can lock the door, before gently picking up their body. “Why are you walking all the way here? My laboratory is too far away from your room.” He says with a cold tone, but you know that he only has concern for you. To which you let out a sigh, “I’m sorry…” you say almost timidly as you turn your face away to not directly him. But with one gloved hand, Dottore gently pets your head, not speaking another word.

It’s silent for a few minutes, just the two of you close together, enjoying the silence of the laboratory, despite the occasional humming or beeping from machines. Until you finally break said silence, “Zandik, what happened…? Your laboratory is a mess…” you say with a concerned voice as you look up at your husband, but Dottore can’t help but look away as he stays silent for a while. Trying to figure out what to even tell you.

Eventually, he does speak up, but it’s not many words. His tone less cold than before, “I simply lost myself to anger, I apologize you had to see that side of me.”

Although his words still came out a bit cold, you knew that deep down he was actually sorry. Especially by the way he’s holding you so firmly yet gentle says otherwise. You softly smile before gently reaching up one of your soft hands to his scarred face, “Do these happen often…? Is it because of me…?” You say with a worried tone as you start to feel a mix of emotions, but Dottore is quick to speak, “Do not blame yourself, you aren’t worth such degrading words. I don’t wish to hear those things come out of your mouth ever. Do you understand?” Dottore says sternly as he looks at you, to which you nod as you gently place your head on his chest, hearing the soft beat of his heartbeat. It almost wants to make you fall asleep, but you’re in the middle of a serious conversation!

As you’re thinking, suddenly Dottore’s voice breaks you out of it. “I’ll take you back to your bedroom, you need rest. Especially due to the medication running in your body making you more vulnerable and exhausted.” He says with astern expression, but you can’t help but nuzzle yourself into his chest, before speaking up. “No, let me stay, please…you worry me too Zandik. Just a small break.” You say as you then look up at him, to which he lets out a groan and mumble of “what an inconvenience”, but you know he’s rather happy if the tiny bit of blush laced on his cheeks says otherwise.

Dottore carries you over to his desk, sitting down and letting you rest on his chest as you sit on his lap. Eventually dozing off from the small workout of even walking exhausting you so quickly. As you sleep, he lets out a deep sigh as he looks over all the scattered papers and broken vials on his desk and floor. It angers him how after centuries of trying to find a damn cure still seems unreachable. How you continue to remain weak and frail, and dependent on others. Compared to before where you would run around all happy and force him to accompany you to some place in Sumeru.

It’s what angers Zandik most. Seeing you continue to lie in bed, having to even be hooked up to many machines whenever your body becomes unstable. He’s the failure, he never wants you to blame yourself. Because how can you when you have never been at fault? He is the sinner here, not you.

So in the meantime, Zandik holds you firmly in his arms. Deep down he knows you may truly die, but he wont allow it. No, you will never leave his side. No matter what.

I’m sorry this is so long I was listening to some Laufey songs :c and honestly I just couldn’t help but write in sorry smooches! Anyways I hope you enjoy this tiny Drabble and do with it as you will! Sorry if it got a little angsty the end I’m just a sucker for fluff with tiny bit of angst. But I hope you’re doing amazing and doing lovely!! I luv u mwa mwa big kissie!!! Im sorry if this is messy it’s like 11 PM while I’m writing this and it took like 30-40 mins to write but it’s okie ;3 drink lots n lots of water sweetie I lub lub u!!! (AND IM SORRY IF READER IS SEEN AS DAINTY ;; i cant help it)

From your dear little boo boo 🎐 anon! (ㆀ˘･з･˘)

🎐 ANON WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENCE TODAY??? I HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN EVERY FEW SENTENCES CUZ I WAS SCREAMIN AHHHHH

You have known Zandik for a very, very long time. The day when he first became a Harbinger seemed like an eternity ago, the days of the Akademiya even further away. Being with anyone for such a long time would cause you to know them in and out, and you liked to think that you knew Zandik quite well.

Key word: think. One day would would learn that you didn’t.

Even before you got sick, you always liked to walk. Except then you were taking in the lovely breeze and air of Sumeru instead of the mono-colored walls of the lab. Laying down all day made your numb legs itch for some kind of movement, even if it made you tired, so you persevered nonetheless. Though as the days went by you couldn’t help but feel worse at your useless state that served as only a burden to everyone else.

The recent appearances of your lover only served to further your worries. What’s more, he did not seem to be his usual, cocky, smirking self. Did he have something to tell you? Did he give up? Found out there’s no cure? Found out something worse about your illness? You were worried, and you could see by the expressions of the clones you weren’t the only one who knew something was up.

(You wanted to tell him that even if he couldn’t cure you, you’d never be mad at him. His efforts that spanned over countless years mean the most to you. You may have to keep living the same fragile life until you lay on your deathbed, but you could say with confidence that he had made you happy. But you knew he’d get upset at you. Scold you for having such thoughts and then restate his declaration of curing you.)

Your thoughts were confirmed one day when a loud crash scared the living daylights out of you. Loud noises were not very good for you or your heart, so although you were tempted to ignore it, you quickly realized that it had came from Zandik’s lab. You’re a bit nervous about peering into his lab - even the clones aren’t allowed in there without his permission - but something compels you to check on him.

Beyond the door was a complete mess. It wasn’t the organized Dottore-kind of mess that you were used to, but rather a sort of enraged and planned mess. His notes and papers were stained by whatever liquid had fallen with it, so you knew instantly that he had done it on purpose, as he always kept his research material pristinely intact.

You had never, ever, seen Zandik like this. Irritation? Check. Annoyance? Check. Cockiness? Check. Hell, you’ve even see happiness. But this? Never. Not the balled fists and gritted teeth. It almost makes you dizzy, hits you straight in your heart, quickens your breath, and makes your throat dry. You want to slip away quietly but it’s already too late because Zandik has locked eyes with you. You can’t read his expression, but you know he’s not mad at you. He never is. And as much as you wanted to reassure him that this wasn’t what it looked like, no words can come out besides his name. When he picks you up in his arms, you can’t help but cozy up in them unconsciously. They always felt better than your bed.

Zandik often speaks coldly to hide his emotions. Whether it was excitement or concern or curiosity, you knew what he actually meant. But this time you can’t bring yourself to tease him, merely looking away to which he turns your chin right back to him. You always thought Zandik’s face was beautiful. Red eyes that seemed to pool endlessly. The sight of it has you calming down but the urge to question him rises in you.

Anger. Anger, anger, anger. Dottore had always been ahead of anyone. He never had a reason to be angry. No one could get a leg up on him. (Except this illness, you realize. That he had been taking this on much more than you initially thought. You clearly weren’t the only one suffering. And that hurts you. But he is adamant about his command to you. He does not want to hear you or anyone else ever speak ill of you. You are the sole person who is worthy to stand with him. No one else.)

When you fall asleep, Zandik can’t help but put his pen down and look at you for a bit. Many, many years ago, you’d be collapsed on top of him from running about and dragging him around the place. But now you are sleeping from a mere walk. When, he asks himself. When can he have you back? See you wield your weapon flawlessly again, indulge in those hobbies of your? Become his dedicated assistant again and have you throw yourself at him shamelessly?

Celestia be damned. No one is taking you from his grasp.

No matter what has to be done. His sins can never be forgiven, so what’s some more?

OMG… WHY WAS THIS BRAINROT LITERALLY TOP TIER… I LOVEEEEE FLUFF WITH PINCH OF ANGST TOO 🎐 ANON 😭 Nothing better than feeling sad but then being comforted by your fav… Anyway I LOVE THIS?? YOURE LITERALLY AN AMAZING WRITER I CANT. I feel like fragile!reader would be at a loss as well because they can’t exactly comfort him as best as they could when they were healthy. I mean, there’s not too much they can do without getting tired. And the worst part is that Dottore knows this too because he remembers how as students you would go out of his way to comfort him when he was annoyed or to make him crack a smile. Dottore being cold and stern af but you know thats just how he speaks and you arent hurt by it 😭And the way he shuts down your self doubt and worry in 1 second??? I love the way you wrote his dialogue omfg. And let me just throw some clone fluff in here too? That crash was def loud enough for at least one of them to hear it so they probably got the gist of what happened so they’re more intent on treating you like royalty for the next few days 😭 you are NOT dying on their watch 🙏

#smooches talks #🎐 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #U POPPED OFF ???!! LITERALLY AMAZING I COULDNT STOP SMILING #SO MUCH KISSES TO U 🎐 ANON MWAHHHHH #I LUB LUB U TOO AND MAKE SURE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP TOO OK??? 😭😭💖🙏

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